The Undertaker, Mt Flushmore Of Business Decisions And What Makes A Cool Hat Guy

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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy!

Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff

Work to be done

No place to hang out

Or wash in

And then I can't

Play all on the sun

Oh no

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Electric Avenue

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Thank you. And I can't live all on the sun.
Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
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They're giving away free money. Today is Wednesday, May 20th, and I actually have nothing.
I have nothing on my pad because guess what? Nothing is going on except I feel a little glimmer of hope. I feel like we're Bill Murray and what about Bob? Baby steps.
You stayed at Texas Tech. No.
Whoa. Are we breaking that news right now? No, I'm just trying to say that.
I was just trying to see if I was trying to get it out of you. I don't know.
He's keeping all of his options open. I'm going to do some soul searching, Hank.
Ever heard of it? Got to talk to, you know. Sounds like you're not.
Sounds like you're out of town. No.
I don't know. It depends.
I mean, I think if we win the Cotton Bowl, it might be, you know, too great to have to say there. Stug's is what they're saying about him.
Yeah. Can't lay down roots.
Nothing going on except sports do feel like they're slowly coming back. I have a prediction uh we will have baseball and basketball in the month of july let's go i'm i'm going to confirm that prediction love uh there is like the first robin of spring of football coming back and that's ben roethlisberger shaved his beard he did he shaved so the beard is gone which no one knew because he blocked everyone well no one knew also i think the governor is mad at him the governor is like Hey you're not supposed to be going to a barber shop right now Ben's never been one to really follow The letter of the law or the spirit of it The law for Ben is It's floating Guideline It's simply something that can be Said out loud but doesn't have to be followed Yeah so Big Ben said that he would shave his beard when he could throw an NFL football again.

So I guess Big Ben is making passes right now.

It's going to be great.

And Tom Brady had their first practice today with the Bucs.

It's not an official practice.

He's getting little sandlock games together.

As long as there are no coaches involved,

then Tom Brady can do his little backyard workouts with people.

But I feel like we've gone at least two weeks

without Tom Brady getting arrested down in Florida.

So that's progress for the Bucs.

I'm so excited for big Ben to be back because we, we've talked about it, but we're losing all of the heroes of ours from, from yesteryear. Phil Rivers is now with the Colts, which is eli's gone uh it's just we need we need big ben to come back and have a couple more years you know defy the laws of aging as a bad body person it would be great to see i also think that our friend duck duck hodges has kind of set a little career path in place for himself where he could be the backup behind Big Ben and then he could sign a lucrative backup quarterback contract elsewhere.
He could be like a David Carr type quarterback that just kind of like hangs out for 12 years. Good locker room guy.
People like him. So Mason Rudolph, like are we, I'm actually just waiting, we're waiting for like three years for Mason Rudolph to sue the NFL? Yeah.
Yeah. He'll definitely get involved in litigation.
Like I said on Monday's show, the whole microphones, no crowd noise is not going to bode well for Mason Rudolph. No.
But yeah, Duck Hodges could be the perfect backup guy. He could be old school, like when Jim Sorge was the backup for the Colts.
Yep. Yep.
He could be that guy. He could be like a Chaz Whitehurst.
Mm-hmm. Have you been watching Charlie Whitehurst's Instagram stories? I have not.
He has been... He's driving around on an ATV around his property a lot.
With his hat on? With his fuck hat on? He's got various fuck hats. Yeah.
The dude just wears hats. They're like...
People are like, oh man, I want to fuck that guy. Well, you keep that hat on when you fuck.
Right. For sure.
But it also leads to fucking. Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the clit.
And he's finding, like, snakes on his property, just like big, giant timber rattlesnakes. And it made me realize I would absolutely watch a Charlie Whitehurst nature show.
Yes. There's something about guys who can wear cool hats.
It's just it's not an attainable goal for regular dudes like the john mayer hats the charlie whitehurst hats pharrell pharrell not so much but just maybe maybe uh jason whitlock the the guys who can wear an obscure hat his hats get smaller every year by the way but just something it's you know it could be a cap. It could be a fedora.
It could be one of those Indiana Jones hats. There's something about dudes who can rock cool hats and have it feel normal.
It's just they're upper echelon guys. You know what it is? It's the same thing as an earring guy.
So if you're a hat guy, you could pull off an earring. Like Bruce Ari if he just showed up with like a harrison ford hoop by the way harrison ford's earring he is not an earring guy no he's wielded on everyone that's always really bothered me about him morgan freeman i don't think he's an earring guy either but he always rocks more more bothersome about harrison ford is he keeps crashing his airplanes that is tough yeah doesn't he crash like four or five times he's crashed like he's the world's worst pilot keeps going up there yeah hey credit to him fearless but yeah hack guys I would love for someone if you're a cool hack guy tweet me a picture of your cool hat because I'll know right away and I'll tell you whether you should ditch that hat or keep it because when a cool hack guy shows up he commands a room yes and it's really easy to tell if somebody is not a cool hack guy trying to pull off a hat instantly ben roethlisberger boom there you go and he showed up wearing the fedora yeah wearing booger look when he had the slicked back hair in the like bugsy malone suit wearing the jason whitlock hat and you looked at big big ben and you were like ben like talked to his wife and was like i think i'm gonna be a hack you don't just decide to be a hack guy one day.
People can see through that. Well, that look, that specific look from Big Ben, he just watched Dick Tracy that weekend.
It was like, look at me. Yeah, it looked like the Untouchables.
Right, right. I'm going to rock this look and no one's going to have a problem with it.
But yeah, the cool hack guys. Man, Cam Newton? Yeah, he's a cool hack guy.
Just because his ridiculous hats are usually like the fourth most ridiculous thing that he's wearing at any given moment in time. Yes, yes.
Oh, man. Maybe we'll do that as a Mount Rushmore of cool hat guys.
Yeah, I would love to see Eli Manning try to pull off a hat. No, he can't.
Yeah, he would never be able to do it. Brady can do it.
Nah. He got roasted for one of his hats.
I guess he can because he goes to... So he does it in the very Brady fashion.
He wills it by... The only time you see him in public is the Kentucky Derby or Big Boxing Match.
And those are big-time hat places. Hat events.
So he has like... He's basically taken on wearing cool guy hats like the sixth round pick he is being like, I will find a way to be a cool hat guy.
Well, let's run through some other quarterbacks to determine if they're hat guys or not. Russell Wilson, not a hat guy.
Easy. Aaron Rodgers, no.
Jimmy Garoppolo, maybe. No, because he's attractive enough that he could probably do anything.
He wouldn't though. Dude.
He wouldn't. He wouldn't, but if he wanted to.
But now we're talking about hypotheticals. We're just talking about yes or no.
You're talking about him hypothetically being a good hat guy. He could be a good hat guy.
But you don't know that. No, if he.
So the answer is no. No, the answer is yes.
Not a hat guy until proven. No, he's not.
Jimmy G. You are not a hat guy until proven that you are one.
The ceiling that Jimmy G's hat guy-ness reaches is like a tennis player. Please tell me what that Google search says.
Who decides to wear his white cap backwards one day. I'm searching Jimmy Garoppolo a cool hat.
No, it's not. You're going to find nothing.
Our guy Baker Mayfield, unfortunately not. Remember, he wore one at the boxing, whatever boxing match they went to.
That's true. Miles Garrett's friend.
Yeah. Miles Garrett.
But Baker does a lot of great things. Miles Garrett should be the guy that determines whether or not you're a hat guy.
He just rips it off if you're not. Jimmy G's hair might be too good for being a...
Like, he wouldn't do that. You know what I mean? Because his hair is so good.
I just think he's attractive. Cuddy's a hat guy.
Yeah, J. Collar is a hat guy.
I think anyone who lives in Nashville can be a hat guy. That kind of is a...
You can just do it. You can just say, fuck it.
If you're retired, you can be a hat guy, too. Mahomes, no.
Kirk Cousins is a classic guy who tries to be a cool hat guy, and everyone roasts him. Yes, probably.
Ooh, sneaky one. Kirk Cousins is allowed to wear a hat of his alma mater.
Yes. That's about it.
Sneaky one. I actually think Dak Prescott is a cool hat guy.
I think he could even a cowboy hat. Something that's not a normal hat.
I think he'd look good. Jared Goff.
I think so. He's attractive in his own right.
He's such a handsome man. He doesn't need a hat.
You can't be a hat guy until you prove that you are one. You guys are throwing out hypotheticals.
Jared Goff has not gone out there. He hasn't taken that risk.
No, that's what we're doing right now. And I'm sure if he did, he would look good.
But on the record, he's not a hat guy. We're backing up our assertion that we can tell if somebody's a cool hat guy before they even wear a hat.
So, for example, with Jared Goff, I would say he's probably a hat guy. But he's out-hatted by another quarterback in that room, Blake Bortles, who is very, very much a hat guy.
He needs a hat to stay alive.

Yes, very much a hat guy.

He's like that old, what was that old tail,

like the woman who had the necklace that kept her head on?

Mel Stragona.

Yeah, that one.

That's Blake in his hat.

Kyler Murray, hat guy just so he can get up to six feet.

There it is.

Pharrell hat.

Drew Brees, not a hat guy.

Robert Griffin III, bucket hat guy. Yes.
Oh, yeah. Rocks that.
Really cool. Did you win that contest? That raffle? No.
We talked about that in the show. No, we didn't.
I bought $100 worth of raffle tickets. It wasn't a straight-up auction to my dismay because I was going to bet everything or I was going to spend everything on it.
But there was a raffle where you could take four friends and go train with Robert Griffin down in Florida at his house for like a week. I don't know how you're going to get out of that, but that would have been an awkward conversation.
Oh, no, you guys were going to come because I was going to say we're going to throw some footballs at trees with Robert Griffin down in Florida. The best was our friend Stanford Steve had texted me the link early in the afternoon of that raffle.
I was like, who the hell would ever bid on this? And I just replied PFT. And then four hours later, he texted a group and was like, just bid on this.
I was like, yep. Well, I got a text.
Do I know my guy? Do I know my guy? I got a text from Rossini saying, hey, you're the only person in the world I could think of that would bid on this. Yes.
So yes, I'm glad that I've somehow staked my brand as being a guy that wants to hang out with robert griffin at his house very cool brand very cool very very cool uh what let's do one more hat guy um joe burrow no his no his hair's too good no his hair's too good and it just doesn't yeah no it's not it's not a slight it's only a joe burrow is a is a lunch you know a hard hat lunch pail. He's not like a guy that's trying to get swag points.
He's a hard hat guy. His swag comes on the field.
He doesn't care about having swag. It's only a slight if the person attempts to wear a cool hat and doesn't pull it off.
Not being a cool. I'm not a cool hat guy.
I know it. That's just something you just know.
You just grow up and being like, I can never wear a hat like that. I think I could be a cool hat guy.
I know it. Like, that's just something you just know.
You just grow up and being like, I can never wear a hat like that.

I think I could be a cool hat.

The long hair does a lot to distract from it.

I could be a cool hat guy in a still picture.

But if you see me moving, like walking around in real life with a cool hat,

I immediately get sniffed out as not being a cool hat guy. I think the hair gives you a lot of leeway.

Yeah, but cowboy hat maybe, but like cool hat, I don't think so. I think it'd look weird in a cool hat.
Cowboy hat, yes. There's only one way to find out.
There'll be an exclusive cool hat episode. Is that guy from the Yaks still in the mix? Yeah, we'll get him.
Yeah, he just makes cool hats. He doesn't have a cell phone, which obviously he's a cool hat guy.
Yeah. All right, let's get to the hot seat, cool throne.
Who says we don't have anything to talk about in sports? That was electric. We'll get to the other Hot Seat Cool Throne starting quarterbacks on Friday.
This is the third try for PFT and Hank to chug an entire Bud Light seltzer. Wow.
Wait. Yeah, Wow.
I read the Hot Seat Cool Throne ad.

For the record, I did it last time.

All right.

Here we go.

I need to.

Wait.

No.

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Lips off.

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All right.

Hank, go ahead.

All right.

My hot seat is Colombian natives.

Okay.

The Kichwa?

So Pablo Escobar, if you guys have heard him, he was a drug lord back in the day.

Who's that?

Colombian guy. He had a private zoo where he brought in all these exotic animals.
Yeah, the hippos still live there. The hippos are now killing people.
Oh, yeah. So the hot seat is the Colombian people.
Yeah. Okay.
The hippos have breeded and now it's turning into an uncontrollable situation. And now the hippos have started.
It's like this is the first attack. It was something people were you know growing concern over but this was the first hippo death that was caused by popo escapade can you imagine if there was if there were murder hippos in the united states like the murder hornet trend i'd say pale in comparison i wouldn't let that fear murder hippos are tough because they are i think the most deadly animal in africa yeah yeah they are they are is hippo mode? That's when you just chill in the water.
That's when your seed's in the water. Got it.
It's when you go, yeah, you go basically up to your eyeballs, but you're just chilling. Okay.
And, you know, there's not a lot of water for the hippos to chill. One of the most depressing planet Earths out there.
There's not a lot of water for them to chill? Like hippo modes can't go hippo mode in water. They're going hippo mode in mud because there's no water.
So they're just all sitting in mud. Very sad.
Chris Long's water boy should do something about that. In addition to the wells, just make big ass pools for the hippos to chill in.
My cool throne is just, you know, old school WWE. We got Undertaker coming up.
Great interview. And this clip, like this is one of those things like kind of with your old sports clips.
Like they should just re-air this whole game. But there was a clip that re-aired.
Dusty Rhodes hitting a three. Dusty Rhodes hitting a three.
Lex Luger, everyone crashing the paint. It's just one of those clips that you watch over and over and over again.
You analyze every single player watching what they're doing. They were going so hard.
All these celebrity games and stuff, I feel like nowadays it's more like sponsors and stuff. I feel like these celebrity games, even like Michael Jordan, like, they would put on like— We saw that one with Kenny Rogers getting wet a couple weeks ago.
Yes, like, those celebrity games, it was more like, you know, it'd be like Scotty Pippen's like, hey guys, can you guys come play my celebrity game? But they would all come and play dead serious. Right.
This game looks like it was absolute, like, elbows flying, people crashing the boards, just electric. So there's a longer clip of that on youtube that you can watch i think it's like five or ten minutes long and i went and i watched it because i was like holy shit dusty roads had a stroke to him and uh it turns out that he was wet on that one shot and then he was feeling himself and just started chucking that i mean i'm gonna watch the entire video now because that sounds amazing shoot yourself till you get get hot.
Got to keep shooting. All right, PFT, yours? My hot seat is my eyeballs.
So my eyeballs are firmly on the hot seat because I got- Is that a new development? Well, yeah, but not because of the sunglasses or anything, which, yes, my eyes do suck because I wear sunglasses all the time. Well, I thought it was like you put- Oh, I'm not going to...
What? Go ahead. Hank's just...
Is Hank trolling? Are we trolling us, Hank? No, no, no. Go ahead.
Your eyeballs. Did you get a bad eye test? No, I got...
I have this new TV and I don't know how to describe it. Oh, sick brag on buying a new TV.
I don't know how to describe it, but it's... It's so big.
It's one of those TVs. 360? Do you know what I'm talking about? It one of those tvs that like the frame rate i think is too fast i went too long in between buying televisions that i must have skipped like six generations yeah it's too crystal clear and the frame rate is weird like if you watch uh like a recorded show it seems like they're moving too quickly across the screen it doesn't look like tv anymore yeah and i don't know how to describe it.
It might actually be broken. Besides saying it's one of the...
No, because I've seen them... I think it might be a picture setting.
I've seen them at my friends' places before. Yeah, those are broken too.
And I'm always like, oh, it's one of those TVs. And I never want to hang out at the house that has one of those TVs.
I think your TV's broken. Is it curved? No.
Absolutely not. I think it might be broken.
You think so? Yeah, I think you've got to do a setting. The real test is going to be when football starts.
I'll know if it's fucked up when football starts. Yes, yes.
But yeah, if anybody knows how to make your TV, not one of those TVs. And it's also like you can download a bunch of apps from the internet, which sounds great.
But now every time I turn on my TV, it's like five, ten minutes. I have to update every app.
Yes. I can't watch TV anymore on my TV.
Yeah, you've got a smart plug yeah pull the plug cut the cord don't do that uh cut the cord my my cool throne is evolution in terms of the evolution of sports takes because uh we're seeing one happen before our eyes we saw one today we're lucky enough in history to witness it today um LeBron James has been quoted as saying that he would like to have played with MJ, not against him. Super teamed.
He won't entertain the hypothetical of LeBron or MJ. He's saying, I think my style would have complimented his because he's a passer and he could set Jordan up.
So because LeBron gave that one inch on the MJ versus LeBron take. We have debates

right now from none other than Stephen A. Smith.

Now the debate has shifted

to would LeBron James

be a better Robin

than Scottie Pippen is.

So now we're comparing that. Now we're saying

would LeBron be a better number two

than Scottie was to Jordan. So MJ's the goat.

So now MJ is the goat.

Who takes the last shot? I think we're ready to move on from that. Yeah.
He did it to himself. He did was to Jordan.
So MJ's the GOAT. So now MJ is the GOAT.
Right. Who takes the last shot.

I think we're ready to move on from that.

Yeah.

Still Tony Kugos.

He did it to himself.

He did it to himself.

All right.

My hot seat is MJ-related.

Horace Grant is on the hot seat.

So Horace Grant, who was on the show a couple weeks ago,

adamantly denied that he was the snitch for Sam Smith's book,

Jordan Rules.

He is still upset about this.

And he went on ESn 1000 today and uh said as i stated to everybody that is downright outright complete lie lie lie lie and as i stated if mj has a grudge with me let's talk about it or we can settle it another way now he's why would horace grant think well, he's always been on the list, but why would he think after watching 10 hours of a guy who's the most grudge-holding, like, vengeful person on planet Earth, why would you then be like, let me pick a fight with that guy? I actually think we're going to get another last dance of MJ just erasing Horace Grant from history. Well, I mean, no one's named Horace anymore.
That's another name that he snatched right there. Yeah, Horace, he said on our show, too, that he wasn't a snitch, right? Correct.
So also hot seat us for not getting the publicity for that. Yeah, but it's also very well known, but he's Matt.
Yeah, not a good decision to pick a fight with MJ, but what's Michael Jordan going to do to Horace? Do they run in the same circles now?

I don't think so.

I feel like they're good.

But if they see each other, fate on sight.

I would actually take Horace Grant in a fight against MJ.

You forget that Charles Oakley goes everywhere MJ goes.

Okay, good point.

Yeah, so I think that would probably settle that.

Yeah.

He'd probably just snap his finger and Charles Oakley would come

and just bitch slap Horace.

That would be it.

Yeah, that's tough.

That's tough.

I think one-on-one, though, if you see Horace Grant, he's like 6'9", 250. He still looks jacked as hell.
Yeah. Although MJ would probably fight dirty.
He wouldn't lose. Yeah, that's right.
He would refuse to. He would just refuse to lose.
All right. And then my cool throne is my brain.
I have an announcement. That's our announcement music.
I started reading a book. Jordan Rules? Nope.
I've read that book. Yeah.
But I started reading a book. What book? I can't remember the title.
It's about the Silk Road. It's pretty good.
It's about the one with Dread Pirate Scott, the guy who set up that website? It's the Silk Road. Yeah, yeah.
So not the old Silk Road. No, no.
The real the the the new silk okay so now now your brain's cooking on different ways because there's my brain's cooking i learn new words i'm pretty sure we can find the time stamp but there was a point uh in the beginning of covid i was like how long is it going to take for you guys to read a book that it is may may 18th i also have a tweet out there saying i think about five months ago that i tweeted like i just started a book and everyone thought I was writing a book. And I was like, no, no, no.
I started reading a book. That was a different book that I never finished.
But I'm going to finish this one. So I'll reply to the tweet when I do finish it.
Well, I mean, there's a big hole in the marketplace right now for an illegal online drug place. So you're reading a book about the Internet.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I also did this ready for this. i'm trying to get into biohacking um since joe rogan went to spotify and now we just get to rule the apple charts uh i'm trying to not read my phone before i go to bed i'll let you guys know how it goes is that biohacking yeah is that just like best practices for snow biohacking i'm biohacking i also taking i'm trying to take 20 minute catnaps in the middle of the afternoon biohacking okay that's like what da vinci used to do yeah uh what constitutes has before bet uh what do you mean like i get into bed i turn on this little thing called a light next to me i didn't even know it existed until last night and then i open the book and i start reading until i get tired and fall asleep

so you read your wild book instead of your phone before correct it's fucking crazy that is nuts you are insane yeah you're basically like living in the 17th century i'll let you guys know how it goes i'm gonna try it again tonight we'll see how it goes okay i started reading a book too yeah the game the secret society pickup artists oh nice yeah so i'm learning the mystery method basically you just have to be really mean to women

and then they'll like you more

I also immediately became that annoying book guy, which I have to stop because when I drove here, I drove with Roan, and I was like, hey, I got this book I think you'd like. I was like, wait, what am I doing? Don't do that.
Don't be that guy. Uh-huh.
Just being like, hey, I'll recommend it. Yeah, hey, you want to borrow this book? Yeah, sure.
Yeah, that sounds awesome. If I say that to anyone, stop me.
If I say the book is better than the movie, that plays. It does.
Because that's the whole reason to read a book so you can say that big short. Are you reading this book because there's going to be a Silk Road movie coming out? I think there will be a movie, and when it comes, I'm ready for it.
You read the book already. Yeah.
So actually, maybe that will be what I do. I just read the book of movies so I can just go around saying that.
Okay. I like that.
I like that. It's a fascinating story, though, about the Silk Road.
Yes. The dude went from just being a nerd in his apartment.
Uh-huh. He was making, like, hundreds of millions of dollars.
Yes. Wait, don't spoil it.
He's in jail. Yeah, no, I haven't finished it.
Okay. I just just started.
Okay. I won't say.
I read a hundred pages. It's also a great book because.
He tried to kill his business partners. It's also a great book because each chapter is like four pages.
That's great. It feels like you're making progress.
Just keep biting, biting, biting. I can't hold my attention longer than that.
And by reading the game, I mean, I went to the glossary and I just read the terms at the end. That works too.
That's like even smaller chapters at the back. That works too.
All right, let's get to our interview with The Undertaker. Awesome, awesome interview coming up.
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And now, The Undertaker. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
Listen, I can't call you Mark Calloway. It is Mark Calloway, but he isaker so if it's okay We can just say the Taker or The Undertaker for the rest of this interview is that alright With you how about you How about you Taker even The Taker is a little formal so let's just do Taker how about that Mr.
Taker Okay so Taker we are you are joining Us you have a documentary out that is phenomenal on the WWE Network. It's called The Last Ride.
Episode 3 is going to be airing on Sunday. You can start streaming it at 10 a.m.
I watched the first two, and I guess I'll start there because the second episode, which, again, you've got to watch it because it's awesome. The scene of you going to the hospital and all the different surgeries you've had has there ever been a moment that you've been like this wasn't worth it nope I love that I can't think I can't think of one uh you know it's it's one of those deals you know what you're getting into you know what the business is it's it's uh you know it's

physical and uh you know do i wish i had the surgeries no but do i regret you know no i don't have any regrets and um you know so far they've all turned out pretty good so uh until somebody screws something up i'll just keep rolling the dice what's what's the number how many surgeries total so far like at this point

I think it's

17 I'll just keep rolling the dice. What's the number? How many surgeries total so far, like at this point? I think it's 17, 18 probably.
That's so many. Wow.
I've always heard that sometimes the hardest bumps to take, the most pain that you're in, aren't necessarily like the worst long-term injuries. What's the hardest bump that you've ever had in the ring i tell you the uh years ago i was working with uh yokozuna and uh i'd give him a kind of a flying ddt now yoko at the time probably was closing in on 600 pounds his body weight uh-huh he hit he hit like a half second before I did on the mat.
And it drove up a piece of wood that caught me in the ribs and snapped two of my ribs. Um, that was, uh, yeah, that was pretty, that was pretty painful.
And obviously I've had a few recently uh you know the the uh the bump that I had in Saudi when I was working with uh with Goldberg over there um I think I think that one was I don't know probably it was a couple inches from being probably catastrophic god um and uh you know, that just, I think there was just a lot of the way i hit on that one i

mean there's like it kind of sent out nerve impulses to all my injuries at once it was like

an electrical charge went through my body but um yeah i've had some good ones um i've had a lot of

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it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it of weird things happen man in the ring it's uh it's uh i don't even know after 30 years i have to i have to go through the the rolodex of memories to find out all the you know all the bad bumps right there's been quite a few when was the last time you were surprised by something that happened in the ring like you saw something for the first time it's a good question um thank you man i tell you i don't even know i don't even know how to answer that i mean because i feel like you've seen everything at this point yeah that's what i've done so much i thought at this point you know jumpers they're not you know you you're used to seeing jumpers you're used to uh you know ropes breaking there's just i mean it's all kind of happened at one time or another. So really, I don't get too surprised anymore.
What about one of your most famous matches? I'm sure people ask you about it all the time, but the Hell in a Cell match with Mick Foley, Mankind. That match is probably my favorite match of all time.
Was there any moment during that where you're like oh my god like he is so so hurt and he's still going yeah that was uh so you know when I threw him off I mean that alone you know I tell people this and they they think I'm full of shit but you, I kind of had like an outer body experience when I threw him off onto the table. It was like, I could see myself standing up there and I could see Mick falling.
And it seemed like it took an eternity for him to hit that table. And then again, another, you know, it seemed like forever before he actually moved.
But the, uh, the one through the cell, when we were both on top and I chokeslammed him through the cell, that thing, man, I was legit worried that, you know, he wasn't going to get up from that one. Is he the toughest person in the WWE? He'd have to be, man.
I tell you what, you know, Mick knew where his wheelhouse was and, you know, and that's the way he, you know, he designed his matches. And like some of the bumps he's taken is just like, phew, they're off the chart.
And he's got to be, he's definitely top five. That's for sure.
When you uh in a match like that or any match where it's very very physical how much uh talking and dialogue goes on with your you know the person you're you're wrestling with just checking in making sure they're okay uh it depends like you know there a lot of it has to do you know, what your camaraderie level is with that particular talent. Now, if something happens where it looks kind of funky, like that didn't look normal, I mean, you just kind of check in, you know, make sure, all right, you know, you're still there, you're still cognizant.
And then there's a lot of times where you know it hurt but they're okay and then you just you know you just talk shit to them yeah the um can we bring up the streak the streak was the most impressive streak in all of uh sports history i think it's the one streak that you could talk you know like uh joe dimaggio's streak or something like that but I think your streak is the one that will never be touched, the WrestleMania streak, 21-0.

I was there the night that you lost.

I was shocked.

When you did lose, was there, like, did that, obviously everyone knows wrestling and there's, you know, the show must go on, but was there a feeling after that, after that like man this really does kind of suck that this streak is is over yeah on a personal level uh of course I mean it's you know selfishly selfishly what I have liked to have gone you know 25 26 and 0 of course I mean that would have been that would have been the greatest probably the greatest record in all of, you know, 25, 26 and 0, of course. I mean, that would have been, that would have been the greatest, probably the greatest record in all of,

you know, wrestling, but, uh, business is business. And, and, you know,

you just got to go with how, you know, sometimes you're up,

sometimes you're down and, uh, you know,

the most important thing out of that one out of, you know, afterwards, I mean,

I was concussed. So, um, I didn't even remember it.
So I was more concerned afterwards about my head, you know, my head to stop hurting and being able to come out of the dark for a couple of weeks. But the streak, it is what it is.
Like, you know, I just, I double checked with Vince and I said,

are you sure that's what you want to do?

And, you know, he was like, Mark, if it's not him, who's going to,

who's going to, who's ever going to beat you?

Right.

Right.

And I was just like, all right, I mean, it's your, it's your call.

And if that's what you want, then that's what we'll do.

How many days before did, did you have that conversation with him?

Because I'm always curious, like, can you say, like, hey, how about I keep winning?

Come on.

Like, let's maybe just keep this going.

It had gone back and forth.

I showed up that day thinking I was going over.

And it changed the day of.

Wow.

So he doesn't leave you that much time to argue with him and to be like hey let me change your mind vets well like i said we had gone back and forth um and then you know we i just talked about it and like i said once again i just had all i wanted to make sure is like he was that he had thought it all through yeah because by that point the streak was you know it was whoever was the main event and then there was this then there was the streak you know that was those two things were the two kind of the most important things of wrestlemania and if you weren't if you weren't in the main event you definitely wanted to be against the undertaker trying to break the streak yeah so obviously So obviously when you broke it, you lose that aspect of WrestleMania. So I just wanted to make sure that he was confident and that was the decision that he felt comfortable with.
And the rest is history, I guess. Well, I want to say that I'm partially to blame because I'm somewhat of a jinx when it comes to sports, and that was the one and only WrestleMania I've been to.

And I have the reaction shot because we're filming ourselves,

and, like, I was shocked.

I was heartbroken.

So I'll own, like, at least 1% of, you know, jinxing you in that spot.

Wow, man, I really appreciate that.

Yeah.

Did you ever get in touch with a guy wearing the Just Say Yes shirt,

the guy that was so incredibly surprised to see you lose? that's one of the all-time reaction gifts yeah you know i i i've never uh i've seen pictures i've never met him um but you're right that's a real uh iconic fan shot just the look on his face it said it all yeah yeah yeah and uh yeah i mean I have a not to that expression but a similar like how did this just happen the so speaking of gifts i don't know how active you are on social media but do you realize that your career is so intertwined with how people use social media especially watching sports and like this crossover that like when a team comes a team comes back, it'll be your hand coming out of the dirt or you coming out of the casket. Your wrestling career has crossed over where the gifts, people who aren't even fans of wrestling can use that in all types of situations when their sports team makes a comeback.
Right, yeah. I've, it's it's you know never in a million years would I have guessed the career that I was going to have honestly I've been very blessed and obviously very appreciative of that but yeah you just never can imagine that kind of stuff and um you know I've got a lot of family and friends that just wear me out dropping them, you know,, dropping them to me.
You know, some good, some bad, some funny, some not. But it's kind of cool to know that you have that that impact across so many different genres of entertainment.
What about the I think it was the match against Brock Lesnar where you just look at him, you stare him in the eye and you start laughing when you guys are both sitting on the ground ground what were you laughing about in that moment so that that happened in the uh i think that happened at summer slam that was after the uh that was after the wrestlemania and uh i don't know we did something where we both we we both took bumps and then i did my you know the signature set up yeah he was up and then i did my setup and he started just he started laughing and so mine was kind of a uh evil sarcastic laugh back at him and i i was shocked at the way people you know that they were so like enthralled by that the fact that we were laughing at each other. Yeah.
It's a great video. It is.
It really is. I'm always curious with this because you've been part of so many iconic matches and also matches that are like push the boundaries, you know, an Inferno match, a Hell in a Cell, a Buried Alive.
Was there any match that was proposed to you and you're like, that's far like we can't we can't do that no um you when you're young and you you think you're invincible really and so anything they throw at you you look at it you're like okay well how are we gonna do it and then you know the wwe doesn't leave anything to chance, right? I mean, it's well thought out.

And the one match I guess I lifted eyebrow to a little bit was the Inferno match.

Yes, yes, fair.

You know, I was just like, wait a minute.

Like, how are we going to work and do our stuff with the ropes, you know, on fire?

Yeah, I think that's a fair concern. it's just funny saying that matter of factly like hey hold on a sec yeah so um so that one i you know i lifted a brow on but you know they told me how they were going to do it and uh you know of course i was in there with cane which I had the utmost confidence in, so it turned out to be really good, and fortunately he got lit up and I didn't.
Yeah, so speaking of Kane, we've had him on the show, and, you know, we told him, but I'll tell you as well, I think the storyline of you and Kane and Paul Bearer is the greatest storyline that has ever been written in the WWE. When you when you have that all like told to you like this is what we're gonna do did you have that feeling like oh my god this is gonna be incredible yeah just but just I mean as soon as it was presented to me that my brother Kane was gonna show up I mean my my it just it all clicked immediately because when I first started like my first couple of matches I was Kane the show up.
I mean, it all clicked immediately because when I first started, like my first couple of matches, I was Kane the Undertaker. Right.
Right. And we dropped the Kane part of it.
So there was just already backstory to it. Why did Undertaker take his brother's name? And then it just grew and grew and then you know paul bear being being kane's dad and it was just the half brothers it was just it was so many layers to it and uh you know it was like uh it was like a really good episode of uh jerry springer yeah soap opera yeah paul bearer just threatening you like i'm gonna reveal your deepest darkest secret.
Like, what is this? What is this? It was – And then the fact that you guys are both just mammoth human beings, it's – I mean, I would assume you've been, you know, through so many years of wrestling. Would you say the Attitude Era in, like, the late and mid to late 90s was the kind of heyday of what you've seen seen as a wrestler yeah i tell you what the uh you know so when i when i first started in 90 business was really good and then we you know we had a bunch of bad uh you know things going on and i mean you know we were wrestling and i could have took a handful of rocks and thrown it not hit anybody theas, the arenas were so empty there for a while.
And then we battled back. And then, you know, then then the the WCW started coming in and, you know, writing checks to everybody.
So all the top guys started going down south and then they were, you know, they were kicking our ass in the ratings again. But, man, when the Attitude Era hit and that took off and the Monday Night Wars, man, that was the best time ever.
It really was good. Yeah.
What is the secret to selling a Stone Cold Stunner? The secret to selling a Stone Cold Stunner is make sure that you slam on the brakes about a half second before he does so you don't get your teeth broken noted and then you just you know you just bounce bounce up and and bounce back and there's a there's some really classic uh stunner cells through the through the uh the rock always had a great yes uh stone cold stunner uh cell um v Vince's was horrible. It was bad.
That was bad. The Rock had a spinal injury every time he got stunned.
Like his whole body spasmed. Yeah, he would end upside down with his feet up on the ropes.
I don't know. Steve must have just added some extra juice on those because they were they those were always pretty entertaining to watch speaking of which how how awesome is it to know that you have uh a finishing move that has been grandfathered in that other people can't do the pile driver yeah I mean that's you know it's pretty cool I'm sure I'm sure somewhere down the line somebody you know.
I've already guys got infringing on my rope walk. Yep, yep.
It's a different era now, man. Back in the day, you know, I would have had to show up and, you know, invite somebody into the shower for a talk.
But, you you know i'm not around enough these days to to sweat it uh so settle this debate that i've always had in my own head it's a debate with myself uh when you're coming in for your entrance music which is iconic have you ever had a moment where you're like how long how slow can i actually walk to see how long i can make this last? Because you've had times where it's like,

it feels like 25 minutes go by and you're not in the ring yet.

Yeah. So a lot of times that would just depend on my opponent.

Okay.

Like if I was working with somebody that, that was pretty limited or I,

you know, I thought I was going to have just a really shitty match with,

I was like, man, I got to get,

I'm going to get my money's worth out of this entrance. So, so yeah, there, there were times that, yeah, I would, I would take a little bit of extra time because I knew the match was going to be horrible.
So I figured I might as well give it to them on the entrance because they're going to, you know, they're going to. Is there ever been a time when you've been bored in the ring during an actual match? No, not in a match.
I've watched a lot of boring matches, but if something's going bad, especially if I'm in a tag, or we used to do some really different things when we'd go overseas and have six-man tags just kind of to preserve everybody so everybody's not just completely beat up every night. It kind of just makes a little bit easier workload.
I'd be standing on the apron just cutting loose on people, you know, cussing them out for doing stupid things in the ring and, you know, trying to coach them and tell them, you know, what to do and quit doing what they were doing. And, of course, that, you know, that never helps during the course of a match.
I found out later, you know, everybody's, you know, everybody's ass was already puckered. So, you know, but you live and you learn but uh sometimes you just have to figure out ways to entertain yourself yes yes i so i'm always curious with this the you are universally acclaimed as one of the best wrestlers of all time but you're also talked about as one of the greatest locker room guys of all time there's no one who says anything bad about taker so what was your approach and how is it different when it comes to being in a locker room with a bunch of guys who you might have to be competitive with who you are competitive with but being more of a teammate in in less of a like i want mine more than not you can get yours so i never you know when i came up when I came up and when, you know, and I was green in the business, you know, guys didn't help you at all.
Right. And if they did say something, a lot of times it was completely wrong.
And they were just trying to screw you up because everybody was so protective, you know, of their spots. You know, once, once I got to WWE and, you know, I got into that character and everything was rolling, it was like my mindset, my mindset was, okay, I gotta make, I gotta make people better and I gotta get people, you know, I have to be able to help create people so that we have new talent coming in and new fresh people to, so I was always trying to, if, if, if you show just a little bit of, you know, of motivation and, and, and inspired to work, then I would help guys.
And then, you know, so I think both sides, you know, both sides would see that like Like the office saw, okay, you know, takes trying to help these guys. And then the, you know, the boys are like, man, you know, takes doing this, you know, this guy on this spot in the card is willing to help me.
So I kind of built a trust on both sides. And, you know, it was, it was strange because it just, it kind of went against what our our business was like you know there were the boys and then there was management right you know and the boys never trusted the management and the management was always like oh man the boys are gonna screw something up so I kind of ended up you know fitting somewhere in the middle so I was trusted on both sides.
The guy, I was always one of the boys, but they also knew with me, business always come first. You know, I mean, it's, it's no secret that, you know, we, we had a pretty serious nightlife back in the day, but it was never, it was never allowed as an excuse for, you know, coming in, being sloppy or getting in trouble, all that.
I didn't, you know, I wouldn't put up with that kind of stuff, but, um, you know, it, it was just, it was just a weird dynamic and, and, um, you know, that's, that's how all that happened. It was just like, um, whatever's, whatever's good and how, whatever's going to make the business better.
That's how I took the approach to things. So speaking of, uh, you know, partying back in the days, who was the best drinker that you would, the legendary drinker that you'd go out with other than me? Yeah.
Other than you. Well, we had, we had a, we had a pretty strong crew there.
I'd have to say, you know, Yoko was up there.

Godfather was up there.

Bradshaw, he could put them away.

Yeah, we had some serious connoisseurs of brown water.

How many beers could T or put away in one night

a lot i i never you know i never i never counted um it was always about having a good time and unwinding and it was never like set out to like oh i'm gonna you know i can drink 38 beers and and 20 shots of Jack. I mean, it was just like, you know,

and I kind of took it as my role because, you know, I had, I had a nice spot and, you know, if you showed up wherever we were at, you know, I felt kind of a lot of times it was my obligation to, you know, share the wealth and buy drinks and make sure everybody had a good time. There you go.
I love it. I love it.
Going back to your entrances real quick, rank your favorite entrances by theme because you've had some of the best songs of all time in American history accompany you on the way into the ring. American Badass by Kid Rock, Roland by Limp Bizkit.
The list goes on. Yeah.
I'd have to say, because I just, when I did the switch from Undertaker to American Badass, and then using, you know, Kid Rock's song, I mean, it fits so good for what we were trying to do. I mean, that had a lot of juice.
And then when we lost the rights to that, you know, Limp Bizkit was, you know, that, that worked too. But the, I think for the, for the entrances, you know, just, I think the old school Undertaker entrances with, you know, the smoke and the fire.
One of my favorite ones is when I came from underneath and I had all the you know i had all the shadows and it looked like all the souls from hell were trying to grab me and that that was one of my favorites um man we've done so many you know that they're that uh production crew is so talented and you know they can't they can't wait that you know those couple days before mania for me to come in for rehearsal just to you know show me what they've come up with and and then you know we tweak it and and there's there's been there's been a lot i so i don't know if you uh are a religious man but i assume you've been in a church at least a few times in the last 20 30 years do people give you give you a weird look? They're like, dude, your ministry of darkness, like where's viscera? Like, what are you doing here? No, you know, funny enough, they don't. I would.
I'd be like, what's going on here? My wife, you know, she got me to start going to church again. And I was telling her like, I'm like, babe, I'm telling you, when I walk through those doors, you know, there's going to be thunder rolling and lightning strikes.
And I had myself convinced. I was like, you know, people are going to think that, you know, yeah, the devil has walked in here.
But it was all fine. but you know, you kind of get in your own head sometimes about stuff like that because people, because I've been so protective for so many years, like people only got to see what I let them see.
Sure. Yeah.
Yeah. So, so in my mind I'm thinking, wow, you know, well, maybe there'll be, there'll be okay if I'm not in my hat and my coat.
Yes. Yeah.
You bring up an interesting point because, you know, you have been protective about your personal life. You haven't been doing too many interviews until, you know, just recently.
Has that been a positive thing? Like, have you felt that it's been therapeutic to be able to open up a little bit about things? Yeah. I mean, it wasn't, you know know when we started doing this doc it honestly the the the mindset of it i just wanted to so the wrestlemania with roman i thought was going to be it for me i was so beat up and you know i needed you know i needed my certain my hip fixed and i was pretty determined that that was going to.
So all of this thing started out by me just wanting to kind of document those last couple of days. And, um, you know, and then next thing, you know, we're three, we're three years down the road.
And, and then we have all this footage and now we have this docu-series.

But it's taken me a while to feel comfortable talking like this.

I'm a dinosaur as far as our business goes.

I'm the last guy probably to try to protect kayfabe.

And I cringe.

I'm getting it over it now.

But I would cringe when I would hear people just talk about the ins and outs of the business. You know, is this like, oh, God, you know, but it's it's it's where we're at.
And, you know, it's a sign of the times and that's where we are. So it's, you know, it's kind of cool.
I think, you know, people have been wanting for years to, for me to, you know, kind of

peel back the curtain and let them see. So that's kind of what that's kind of what we ended up with.
And, you know, the more the more times I talk about it, the easier it gets. And it's, yeah, I guess it has been kind of cathartic to be able to talk about certain things that, that I've just completely, you know, not ever attempted to, you know, bring up or talk about.

Yeah, in a weird twist, it's like the fact that you didn't break kayfabe for so long, the fact that you were so secretive for so long is helping this project that you're working on right now.

Like it actually has become a huge benefit to you because everything that you say it's like you know brand new stuff from taker and it gets press all the time so it's been great for promotion i would think yeah i mean it has because you know there's a lot of times like wait who's doing what he's doing what he's no you know but for those years i just had to turn all that stuff down. You know, I turned down other outside projects because to me, and what my mindset on this whole process was, is like, I can't go and do, you know, I can't like go and do a movie where I'm, you know, I'm a different character and then come back and then try and and be undertaker right yeah to me it was just too big of a disconnect so everything got put on the shelf and then you know just here within the last couple years have i even began to attempt you know doing social media and um and then now, obviously, here we are with this docuseries.
But, you know, I'm a work in progress, I guess. All right, so I'll cross off the question.
I was going to ask what happens when you get buried alive because I was convinced as a kid that you actually were buried alive. So if you do want to keep that off the record,'s fine we don't have to ask we don't have to talk about that but what happens well i won't go into the details of how it's done but i was i was buried alive yes okay thank god okay your eyes your eyes you know you there's always so much that we can do yes yes okay you were buried alive there was dirt on your on your design yes there was dirt there was dirt on my person.
Yes. I'm happy I asked that then.
All right. So I have one last question.
Everyone go watch The Last Ride. It is on WWE Network.
Episode 3 is coming out Sunday. This is kind of a morbid question.
And I, Taker, I want you. You're one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.
I want you to live to 120, but is there a part of you that thinks it's kind of cool that like when you do someday die, people just won't believe that you're dead. Like I won't, I'll just be like, he's going to come back.
He'll be back. I'll be, I'll be waiting for you to walk down, down, uh, you know, WrestleMania in like 40 years.
Be like, here he comes out of a coffin. This is awesome.
Yeah, man. You never know.
You live on, you're immortal. You're immortal.
Well, wasn't there a rumor a couple years ago? Yes, you're immortal. There was a rumor that you did die.
Right, right. Oh, yeah.
You're immortal. It happens all the time.
Right. And you just, I will forever, until I die, I'll be like, here comes Undertaker.
Like, will, here comes his music. All I have to do is hit the music and I'll be like, here he is.

Yeah. Well, we'll see.
Hopefully I better not lose that music then for a while. Yeah.
They can't take the rights back. Yes, we need to hold on to that music.

But I think it's just cool because you're just – it's obviously because I grew up in the Attitude Era,

but there's something about your character and everything, all the work you've done.

It's like this guy is immortal and it's fucking so badass well i appreciate that man i really do thank you yeah uh one last last question then we'll let you go we ask all the wrestlers that come on the show this have you ever sneezed in front of this have i ever sneezed i think actually i i leave the room yeah that makes sense even you're afraid to i get away actually i get away with a little more than than a lot of people probably do yeah oh i also read what's this about you're scared of cucumbers okay let's get this straight now we've had it we've had a good conversation. I'm not scared of cucumbers.

I just don't like cucumbers.

It's not like one of those videos with cats where you put a cucumber on the ground next to a cat and it jumps because it thinks it's a snake.

I just like the idea of Undertaker, the biggest badass ever.

If you bring a cucumber into the room, you can make him a little kid.

No, I'll probably leave the room. I mean, I'm not going to run.
You'll walk briskly out of the room. I will.
Yeah, I just. And if they're whole, that's one thing.
But if they're cut up, no, that's just, you know. Oh, man.
Just like the cucumber man is a wrestler that can basically be used. That's how you should have lost in WrestleMania.
The Cucumber Man just coming out slinging cucumbers at your face.

People would have bought that a lot more.

Yeah.

I would have slipped on a cucumber.

Yes.

Does that go for pickles too?

Man, the hair on my neck is starting to stand up.

Hey, there you go.

All right.

Well, I apologize for that last question, but this has been awesome.

Thank you so much.

Everyone go check out The Last Ride on WWE Network.

I can't recommend it enough.

I've watched the first two episodes.

in the I apologize for that last question, but this has been awesome. Thank you so much.
Everyone go check out The Last Ride on WWE Network. I can't recommend it enough.
I've watched the first two episodes. It's great.
Episode three coming out on Sunday. Guys, I appreciate you, man.
I love your show, and thanks for having me on. Thanks so much, Taker.
I appreciate that. Appreciate it.
That interview with Taker was brought to you by MeUndies, our good, good friends at MeUndies, it's time for some summertime dreaming. These are the days when visions of sunshine and surf dance through our heads, probably now more than ever as we collectively mold into our couches.
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Okay, let's get some segments. First up, we got a not to brag, but we called it.
What do we call? So we call the sex dolls. Yes.
The sex dolls being put in the stands. So there,

I believe it was the,

it was a soccer league that was forced to apologize for using sex dolls in place of their empty seats,

which if you're going to have a surplus of sex dolls,

why not put them in seats?

I don't have a problem with that.

I'm actually more offended that they apologize to us about putting sex dolls

in the stands than they are that they actually did it. I sex dolls uh although now that i'm thinking about it sex dolls are in high demand probably right now in quarantine times so maybe they're we shouldn't have them go to the games it's a waste of sex dolls yeah send them to more needy consumers yeah in cells yeah it also brings up an interesting point which is when does a sex doll become a sex doll i think it's after you have sex with it oh i don't think it i don't think it's a sex doll it's just a doll it's just a friend yeah it's a doll until you have sex with true but were these already sexed sex dolls there might be one guy on like quality control at the sex doll place.
Just one pump on every doll to make sure it works. And then you ship them out.
In which case, then, yes, they are sex dolls. Are they like retrievers, like a golden retriever? Which even before it retrieves anything, it's still a retriever right by its very nature.
Yes. The dog.
So that's debate that i think we need to we need to explore a little bit further here but i feel like until penetration occurs it's just it's just a it's a man it's just a doll it's just a doll it's just like it's no different than like uh any doll really some dolls really just it becomes a sex doll when somebody else finds out that you had sex with right right. Right.
All right. Let's do our Mount Flushmore.
Mount Flushmore of business decisions. Now, this is completely random that we picked this topic.
It has nothing to do with anything that's happened this week. I mean, there's a lot of talk of negotiations going on right now.
Right. People just turning down the Joe Rogan stuff.
Yeah, the Joe Rogan stuff. No, the Joe Rogan stuff.
Yeah, the Joe Rogan stuff. So this is the Mount Flushmore of business decisions.
So basically the worst business decisions ever made. PFT goes first and then Hank or then me? Okay.
Yeah, I go first, right? Okay, all right. Go for it.
Right off the bat, this is an easy one. Blockbuster not buying Netflix for $50 million.
Yep. So they had that offer back in, I think, the early 2000s.
Blockbuster was like, no, people like coming into our physical retail locations for the smell. Yes.
Which, to be fair, the Blockbuster smell is a great smell. Yes.
I will give that to them. But much like Subway, where the smell inside of Subway is delicious.
I'm talking about the sandwich restaurant the not the train place but um the the product behind the smell does not live up to the smell so uh they had the opportunity to squash netflix and they didn't that was an easy number one for me okay uh i got an easy number one as well it's ronald wayne the famous businessman who sold 10 percent of apple in 1976 for $800. Well, in today's money, that's like...
$100 billion. But I'm doing the math.
Woo! Yeah, it's a little short. That's probably like $5,000 in today's money.
Yeah, so that one's tough. He was part of the co-founding Apple team and won it out.
And, yeah, that sucks. That stuff honorable mention goes to Bill Gates for bailing out Apple and bringing them back in to compete against themselves because Steve Jobs was his friend.
Iron sharpens iron. Hank, your first pick.
You guys just took two of mine. Okay.
I'll go, I guess, with the Red Sox trading the Babe Ruth, best baseball player of all time, for the rights to a play. Okay.
That seemed like the right idea at the time. Probably a huge mistake.
What was the play? No-No Nanette. Have you seen it? Have I seen it? No.
Did you do well? It might be good. I have not seen it in 1918.
It might be a jam. Also, Hank, the fact that you didn't have to deal with any of the

heartbreak from that. You didn't have to deal with the Babe Ruth curse.

Yeah, I did. For how many years?

I was 12 years old. Oh my god.

I was 11. 2003

was terrible for me.

Okay, good

first pick. My second

one, I will go with ESPN

canceling Barstow Van Talk and making

an entire demographic of young male adult sports fans hate them forever. Good pick.
Okay. Good pick.
Why only male? Well, demographic. Demographic.
We have a large young male demographic. I'm not saying we only have.
I'm just saying that demographic we possess, as well as females. Yeah.
Okay. I'll go with.
those sick fucks at ESPN only care about the male demo. Yeah.
How about my second... It's true.
It's disgusting, isn't it? It is. It's disgusting.
My second pick, I'll go with... I'll go with the record company, Decca Records, that turned down the Beatles.
Oh, wow. Turned down the Beatles and...
It's a deep cut. Yeah, and...
I mean, that's basically the worst business decision ever to turn down the Beatles. They went and auditioned for them and they're like, nah, we don't want you.
Wow, that sucks. Wasn't there another Beatle that also quit the Beatles? Pete Best.
Pete Best quit the Beatles. Pete Best, yeah.
I think he got kicked out. In favor of Ringo? They were like, Ringo's a better drummer than you? No, it was a five-man.
It was a five-man for a while. Okay, all right.
I'm pretty sure. But yeah.
He's the dancing guy. Imagine being the record executive who turned down the Beatles, which I'm pretty sure they are the number one selling artists of all time.
Yeah. Drake.
PFT's boy. Drake.
Is it? Or he has the most number ones. He has the most number ones.
He passed that. Yeah, on Spotify, a platform that nobody wants to see.
No, no, no. Whatever record the Beatles have, the most number ones he has the most number ones he passed that Spotify a platform that nobody no no no like whatever whatever record the Beatles have like the most number one like records or gold whatever the fuck you call it Drake recently passed them okay in streams though no no if the Beatles were if the Beatles were around right now and they were streaming they had like I think 20 number one hits yeah they would have streamed hit after hit after hit Billboard Hot Top 100 Top 10s.
Hang on. Liam is coming to the defense of Drake.
Oh, but I guess Madonna is actually in first. So it goes Madonna, Drake, Beatles.
Okay. Pete Best was kicked out of the band.
He was the drummer. He was kicked out of the band.
That's tough. That is tough luck.
But he was kicked out. So that was a good business decision for the beatles all right uh my next one i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go with the mets bobby bonita contract not because it's unheard of in sports because there are a lot of contracts that are set up in that spirit these days but the fact that it was the first and and most visible of those contracts and we get bobby bonita day every single day every single day year, I mean.
Was it the 1st of July? Yeah, I think so. Something like that.
And everyone brings it up all the time whenever it happens. It's like, holy shit, I can't believe that the Mets did this.
They're still doing it. And they're still doing it, and it's going to happen in about a month and a half from now.
It's going to be great. My third pick is going to be Cam Newton in the Super Bowl.
Bad business decision. Did not jump on that fumble.
Everyone talks about it to this day. And then he didn't talk to Pete Prisco after the game and answer for himself.
So he doubled down on his mistake. Yep.
See you, Cam. I'll go my next pick.
I'll go with Mark Cuban not buying 10% of my brain. He's an idiot.
That was a dumb business decision. I'm going to make that money back.
It was for a million dollars. He regrets it to this day regrets it one million dollars and he got all my lifetime earning from that day forward how stupid now some may say if he had given me a million dollars i would have just basically quit everything and thought i was set for life and done nothing with my life but you would have risk you got to take you would have taken the over you would have put a million dollars i would have made a million another million dollars then i want to give him think about that come on what an idiot your picks i will go with uh adidas not like putting a good enough pitch together for michael jordan when he actively said that he wanted to go there wasn't even going to take the nike meeting but his mom convinced him to probably a huge mistake considering he sold sold like $100 million worth of shoes in his first year.
And then my last one, I don't have one, so I'm going to think really quick. Okay.
And I'm just going to go. You could go with a draft pick.
Yeah. Does that count? I mean, business decision.
I still believe in Darko, though. A little bit more time to learn the American game.
Do you want one of mine mine sure crystal pepsi that was a bad business decision i enjoyed crystal pepsi nah you didn't you liked it because it was novel but it wasn't it wasn't special i i think back on it with fond memories um what about the uh the burger that with the black bun didn't they do that didn do that? Or, oh, I don't think we can say it. Well, no, we can.
Chicken fries? I love chicken fries. Yeah, but they came back.
They came back out. How about Mr.
Wonderful passing on Listerquill immediately when he saw you? Sure, let's go with that. Okay, good one.
All right, my last oneick uh weiss not getting out of the way of vince carter worst business decision he's ever made yep yep it was vicious nut dragging dunk in history of basketball sometimes the worst business decisions are the ones that you don't make right so he just got posterized forever literally there have been better dunks there have been dunks that are maybe more memorable but there have never been there's never been a dunk quite like a full-on ball sack to the

face in live competition yep yep that was a bad one that was a bad one uh my last one i'm gonna go

with uh i think it was news corp they bought myspace for 580 million dollars and then they

sold it later for 35 million oh took a little bit of a bath on that. They were thinking that it was going to be the next Facebook.
Or they thought it was going to be the first Facebook when they bought it. They were wrong.
But shout out MySpace Tom. Good for him.
MySpace Tom got paid. You don't hear about him anymore.
He's not influencing elections and get called before the House of Representatives. He's not being mocked because he's grilling meats in front of his big green egg like a robot.
MySpace Tom is just chilling with probably $250 million in the bank. So shout out him.
Yeah, that's a big shout out him. Any other ones that we missed? I had the dudes.
Well, Pets.com. I don't even know who.
No one made money off that, right? Or someone did. No one made any money off the internet in the early 2000s.
Well, Mark Cuban. Damn it.
Excite, the search engine, could have bought Google for $750,000 in 1999. That's tough that they passed on that.
Yes. That's tough.
That's a really bad one. How much is Google worth right now? The entire world.
Is there a number? Google owns the world. A gazillion.
Also, Steve Jobs, when they were creating computers, wanted to just work for Atari. That was his life's dream is to design video games? Well, he was like, we're using your instruments to build this computer.
We'll just work for you and Atari was like no no thank you Steve Jobs yeah

that was tough too yeah um I also had Mark Cuban not investing big cat's brain on my list that got taken that was a dumb move by him the uh XFL not signing me that was also a very bad business decision the reason it fell apart absolutely some say yes um all right any other ones soft bank I don't think you don't have any more.

SoftBank invested in WeWork.

They gave him $10 billion

out of $47 billion. All right.
Any other ones? Oh, Hank, you don't have any more. SoftBank invested in WeWork.

They gave him $10 billion at a $47 billion valuation

and didn't really do any checking behind it.

They just met the cult leader that runs WeWork,

and they're like, this guy is hypnotizing me,

so here's $10 billion.

Let's see.

Oh, Billy Football going to college.

That was a stupid business decision.

Changing to wide receiver.

Yep, changing to wide receiver.

That was a stupid business decision. Changing to wide receiver.
Yeah. Changing to wide receiver.
Yeah. That was a dumb, dumb business decision.
I can't think of any other bad business choices recently. No.
Any that are like bar store related. Oh, yeah.
That one was probably bad. Mm hmm.
Um, you fuck you. you but yeah that's it okay mouth flush for business decisions nothing else in the news uh all right let's finish up guys on chicks hank take it away hey daddies what's up i recently got involved with the sugar daddy who's been paying my Now with the pandemic going on, he informed me that he couldn't afford to keep this up because he was out of work.
He offered for me to move in. I am attracted to him, but he also doesn't know I have a long-distance boyfriend, and he will definitely find out if we live together.
What should I do? I'd say don't move in. The whole sugar daddy relationship.
I mean, if he's a sugar daddy and he's fucking out of work, like how he's got to have more. There's no sugar left.
It's been like a month. We're dealing with like a diet Coke daddy right now.
Right. A saccharine daddy.
An aspartame daddy right now. Yeah, this is flying in the face of what a sugar daddy relationship should be.
And I like how he's trying to make up for the fact that he can't buy you anything right now by saying, well, maybe we could just spend all our time together. Yeah, maybe you could hear me take a dump.
Yeah, sounds like this is a bad deal for you. This is a bad business decision if you choose to go with the saccharine daddy.
Yes. Would you guys rather have as many kids as Phillip Rivers or have one kid who hates sports and won't talk slash watch slash attend a sports game? I think one kid.
Phillip Rivers. I think one kid because there's just more sports for me.
I don't have to spend money on tickets to games. That would suck, though.
But that's kind of the option now. Yeah, I don't think that.
That's not how it works. That's not how it works.
I still have to take my kid that doesn't like sports to the sport. No, you have to do the shit that he wants to do.
You have to hang out with your kid. He wants to play Magic.
I feel like I'm going to the game.

I can't relate to that.

No, we're going to the game.

Yeah, multiple kids.

Nine kids?

Yeah.

Give me nine kids.

Dude, house full of love.

It's like Michael Scott.

You never have to worry about having a friend.

One of those kids is going to make it to the NBA.

Exactly.

Odds.

Well, not one of your kids.

Is it weird? Is it weird is it weird does that

mean hank i mean it depends on your mirror i guess uh is it weird for a guy to call you mommy during

sex or for two twin brothers to have both called you mommy in separate sexual encounters

was assuming you fucked two twins was assuming they got breastfed too long but maybe it's not

as weird as i think okay this is one of those ones where you think you're telling us about

someone doing something weird and you

Thank you. Fucked two twins? Was assuming they got breastfed too long, but maybe it's not as weird as I think.
Okay, this is one of those ones where you think you're telling us about someone doing something weird,

and you forgot that you're actually telling on yourself for fucking a pair of twins separately.

It's every girl's dream.

Am I right, daddies?

Like, we love twins. You spilled the tea on that one.

Be like, look at these weirdo twins that I keep fucking saying mommy.

Although, wouldn't it be pretty cool if you just made up a twin for yourself? You think anybody's done that? Where they tell a girl, like, hey, I have an identical twin. And then you get to go over later and you're like, hey, I'm my twin's brother.
Except I'm not interested in dating you like my twin is. Just like having fun, keeping it spicy.
Yeah. Nah.

The fake twin.

The fake twin.

It's an interesting concept.

All right, here's another lead berry.

Hi, boys.

Last year for my boyfriend's birthday,

I rented out an entire box for him and his friends

at a game for my boyfriend's favorite hockey team.

He's supported this NHL team his whole life,

and their center is his current favorite player.

Uh-oh.

The problem is I was able to get the box at a friendly rate because I used to hook up with said player. We're still cordial, and he has a new girlfriend, so there's nothing bad going on, but I still have never told my boyfriend because I worry it will make him unhappy.
But recently, my boyfriend joined Instagram and saw that this player follows me and is curious as to why. What do you think the right move is here?

P.S.

Go Ducks.

Go what?

Ducks.

Oh, I thought she said go Ducks.

I was like, you're fucking Jimbo Thornton?

I don't know.

Is he a sinner?

Yeah, I don't think he's on the Ducks anymore.

That's the Sharks.

Oh, yeah.

Sharks.

I meant Sharks.

I don't know what the move is here.

I do not know. I think it's going to be a real test of how big of a fan he is.
If he's a real fan, he'll dump your ass. If he's a real fan of the team? No, he'll ask to watch.
Yeah, he'll be like, hey, let's get him over. Yeah.
He's a real fan. He's a real fan.
He'd be like, I'd rather support the team than support you and have to worry about you. He is.
What better way to support the team than sharing love? The issue I have with this is I feel like saying, like, we haven't hooked up in a while, but I just hit him up for a box. That doesn't really jive.
That's true. That's not a...
That smells a little stinky to me. That's not a, we used to have a thing moved.
People don't, I don't care how rich people are. They don't give away free boxes.
Like that's just that's that's not a smells a little stinky to me that's not a we used to have a thing people don't i don't care how rich people are they don't give away free boxes like that's just not something that people give a price oh you got discounted price okay all right maybe um i would just not tell him not tell him what what what should she say for why does the guy follow i'm hot aren't? Isn't this awesome? Your favorite player thinks I'm hot?

Do you think if you're a massive fan of this team and you find out that your girlfriend used to date one of your heroes?

I don't date is loose here.

Yeah.

Doesn't that make you feel better?

You're like, hey, her top two flings of all time are my hero and me.

It makes you feel like you're in the same league as that guy.

Maybe wait until he gets traded and be like, fuck that guy. He fuck that guy and she's like i have and then just hope that that and then and then he says what and you're like what and then whenever if he does ever find out be like no i told you that time you said fuck that guy i said i have so the the biggest key in this is to make sure if you decide to tell him that you used to hook up with this guy you have to make sure that his friends don't find out because he's going to get roasted in every group chat that he's ever on for the rest of his life all right we'll end it with this one uh hey guys just want to know if this was a normal occurrence or not so my boyfriend's dad bought a boat they keep in dewey beach delaware and and this weekend his parents won't be in town, so he wants to go boating.
We've done this many times before, but this time he asked if I would take my top off while we're on the boat. Obviously he's seen me naked.
I know, congrats on the sex. But he said he has a fantasy of topless girls on boats.
Is this normal? What's the worst that could happen if other people see me topless riding around the bay this is um way to really way to really get romantic dude to ask your girlfriend like days in advance can you take your top off for me on the boat like dude just have have a little sense of the moment just wait till you're on the boat and then yeah then sweet talk her and like like try to play around a little bit and see if it happens wild thing to just like hey send her a calendar boat this weekend on one condition here's a calendar invite uh for 1 p.m on saturday you're taking you're taking those tatas out yeah we'll wait till we're at least five miles out to sea and big cat's absolutely right it's just because he watched the he's gonna try to honk honk the boat horn with his dick and it's not gonna be big enough tell him that it's like i know what you're trying to do and guess what you're not tommy lee it'd be funny if if he is like subtly recreating all his favorite porns that he's watched growing up like he's like hey uh i'm gonna take a break from uh going out by the pool can you come into my bedroom and just like be wearing a bikini top and then just say hey what you doing yeah hey can you uh can we turn these lights off real quick and i just want to come on your back and then you can have your own reality show hey can you act like you own this hotel that we're in right now act like i'm a prostitute coming in oh my god yeah doing the. Hey, I got this.
I got this taxi. Can we just can we fuck in the back real quick? I like this.
This guy, you know, he's just knocking down. Yeah, but he just killed the romance.
So I would say maybe next time try to be a little more romantic about it. That's all you got to do.
All right. That's our show.
Remember, dude, perfect documentary review friday and we have a couple interviews coming up on friday so get ready see you then love you guys now usually i don't do this but uh go ahead on break them off with a little free use of the Remains, remains, remains, remix, remix. Well, it's a good ignition.
I've been fresh out the kitchen. I'm all going in.
Bobby got every net intuition. It's been a fucking bomb.
I'm like the water bottle. It's a freaking weekend.
Maybe I'm about to have people born. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm not trying to be rude, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Outro Music We'll be right back. Thank you.
It's Pardon My Take, by Farstool Sports.