The Undertaker, Mt Flushmore Of Business Decisions And What Makes A Cool Hat Guy

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have The Undertaker. Taker, awesome interview, hero of mine.
Great time talking with Mr. Taker, Mark Calloway, Undertaker.

Speaker 1 Go watch his new documentary out on WWE Network now.

Speaker 1 Episode 3 is coming out on Sunday. We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne, Guys on Chicks, and the Mount Flushmore

Speaker 1 of worst business decisions. That's a totally random topic we just came up with.

Speaker 3 Mount Flushmore of business decisions.

Speaker 1 Mount Flushmore of business decisions.

Speaker 4 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the song of what will be done.

Speaker 1 Low place behind a low washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.
Go subscribe to the Cash App's Twitch channel, twitch.tv slash cash app.

Speaker 1 And if you drop your cash tag in the comments, they're giving away free money. They're giving away free money.
Today is Wednesday, May 20th. And I actually have nothing.

Speaker 1 I have nothing on my pad because guess what? Nothing is going on except I feel a little glimmer of hope. I feel like we're

Speaker 1 Bill Murray and what about Bob? Baby steps. You stayed at Texas Tech.
No. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Are we breaking that news right now? I don't know. I'm just trying to.
Why did you say that? I was just trying to see if you.

Speaker 5 I was trying to get it out of you.

Speaker 1 I don't know as he's sitting here right now.

Speaker 3 He's keeping all of his options open.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do some soul searching, Hank. Ever heard of it? Got to talk to, you know.

Speaker 5 Sounds like you're not. Sounds like you're out of town.

Speaker 1 No. I don't know.
It depends. I mean, I think if we win the Cotton Bowl, it might be, you know, too great to do.

Speaker 6 Case Doug's is what they're saying about him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 nothing going on except sports do feel like they're slowly coming back. I have a prediction that we will have baseball and basketball in the month of July.

Speaker 3 Let's go. I'm going to confirm that prediction.
Love it. There is like the first robin of spring of football coming back, and that's Ben Rotlessberger shaved his beard.
He did. He shaved his beard.

Speaker 1 So the beard is gone. Which no one knew because he blocked everyone.

Speaker 3 Well, no one knew. Also, I think the governor is mad at him.
The governor is like, hey, you're not supposed to be going to a barbershop right now, Ben.

Speaker 3 Ben's never been one to really follow the letter of the law or the spirit of it.

Speaker 1 The law for Ben is

Speaker 1 floating. Right.
It's a guideline. Right, exactly.
It's simply something that can be said out loud, but doesn't have to be followed.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so Big Ben said that he would shave his beard when he could throw an NFL football again. So I guess Big Ben is making passes for it.

Speaker 5 It's going to be great.

Speaker 3 And Tom Brady had the first practice today with the Bucs. It's not an official practice.
He's getting like little sandlock games together.

Speaker 3 As long as there are no coaches involved, then Tom Brady can do his like little backyard workouts with people.

Speaker 3 But I feel like we've gone at least two weeks without Tom Brady getting arrested down in Florida. So that's progress for the Bucs.

Speaker 1 The Big Ben thing, though, like I am.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited for Big Ben to be back because we've talked about it, but we're losing all of the

Speaker 1 heroes of ours from yesteryear. Phil Rivers is now with the Colts, which is weird.
Eli's gone.

Speaker 1 It's just,

Speaker 1 we need Big Ben to come back and have a couple more years,

Speaker 1 you know, defy the laws of aging as a bad body person.

Speaker 1 It would be great to see.

Speaker 3 And I also think that our friend Duck, Duck Hodges, has kind of set a little career path in place for himself where he could be the backup behind Big Ben, and then he could sign a lucrative backup quarterback contract elsewhere.

Speaker 3 He could be like a David Carr type quarterback that just kind of like hangs out for 12 years. Good locker room guy.
People like him.

Speaker 1 So Mason Rudolph, like, are we, we, I'm actually just waiting, we're waiting for like three years for Mason Rudolph to sue the NFL?

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 He'll definitely get involved in litigation. Like at some point, like I said on Monday's show, the whole microphones, no crowd noise is not going to bode well for Mason Rudolph.

Speaker 1 No, but yeah, Duck Hodges could be the perfect backup guy. He could be the old school, like when Jim Sorgi was the backup for the Colts.

Speaker 3 Yep, yep. He could be that guy.
He could be like a Chaz Whitehurst.

Speaker 3 Have you been watching Charlie Whitehurst's Instagram stories? I have not. He has been, he's driving around on an ATV around his property a lot.
With his hat on?

Speaker 1 With a bunch of fuck hat on?

Speaker 3 He's got various fuck hats. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Dude, just wears hats.

Speaker 1 People are like, oh man, I want to fuck that guy.

Speaker 3 Well, you keep that hat on when you fuck. Right.
For sure.

Speaker 1 But it also leads to fucking.

Speaker 3 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Clit. And

Speaker 3 he's finding snakes on his property, just like big giant timber rattlesnakes. And it made me realize I would absolutely watch a Charlie Whitehurst nature show.

Speaker 1 Yes, there's something about guys who can wear cool hats. It's just, it's not an attainable goal for regular dudes, like the John Mayer hats, the Charlie Whitehurst hats.

Speaker 3 Pharrell.

Speaker 1 Pharrell, not so much. But just maybe, maybe Jason Whitlock.

Speaker 1 The guys who can wear an obscure hat.

Speaker 3 His hat's getting smaller every year, by the way.

Speaker 1 But just something, you know, it could be a scally cap. It could be a fedora.
It could be one of those Indiana Jones hats. There's something about dudes who can rock

Speaker 1 cool hats and have it feel normal.

Speaker 1 It's just they're upper echelon guys. You know what it is?

Speaker 3 It's the same thing as an earring guy. So if you're a hat guy, you could pull off an earring.
Like Bruce Arians, if he just showed up with like a Harrison Ford hoop.

Speaker 3 By the way, Harrison Ford's earring, he is not an earring guy.

Speaker 1 That's just welded on everything.

Speaker 3 That's always really bothered me about him. Morgan Freeman, I don't think he's an earring guy either, but he always rocks.

Speaker 1 bothersome about Harrison Ford is he keeps crashing his airplanes.

Speaker 3 That is tough, yeah.

Speaker 1 Doesn't he crash like four feet?

Speaker 3 He's crashed like, he's the world's worst pilot.

Speaker 1 Keeps going up there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hey, credit to him. Fearless.

Speaker 1 But yeah, hack guys.

Speaker 1 I would love for someone, if you're a cool hack guy, tweet me a picture of your cool hat because I'll know right away and I'll tell you whether you should ditch that hat or keep it.

Speaker 1 Because when a cool hack guy shows up, he commands a room.

Speaker 3 Yes, and it's really easy to tell if somebody is not a cool hack guy trying to pull off a hat. Instantly.
Ben Rothlessberger. Boom.
There you go. And he showed up wearing the fedora.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wearing the Booger look when he had the slick back hair in the Bugsy Malone suit.

Speaker 3 Wearing the Jason Whitlock hat, and you looked at Big Ben and you were like, Ben talked to his wife and was like, I think I'm going to be a hack guy. You don't just decide to be a hat

Speaker 3 one day. People can see through that.

Speaker 1 Well, that look, that specific look from Big Ben, he just watched Dick Tracy that weekend. It looked like it.
And was like, look at me.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it looked like the Untouchables. Right, right.

Speaker 1 I'm going to rock this look, and no one's going to have a problem with it. But yeah, the cool hat guys.

Speaker 1 Man, Cam Newton?

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's a cool hat guy. Just because

Speaker 3 his ridiculous hats are usually like the fourth most ridiculous thing that he's wearing at any given moment in time.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Oh, man.
We need like a lip. Maybe we'll do that as a Mount Rushmore of cool hat guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I would love to see Eli Manning try to pull off a hat.

Speaker 1 No, he can't. Yeah, he would never be able to do it.
Brady can do it.

Speaker 3 He got roasted for one of his hats one day.

Speaker 1 I guess he can because he goes to...

Speaker 1 So he does it in the very Brady fashion. He wills it by like the only time you see him in public is the Kentucky Derby or big boxing match, and those are big-time hat places.

Speaker 3 Hat events.

Speaker 1 So he has like he's basically taken on wearing cool guy hats like the six-round pick he is, being like, I will find a way to be a cool hack guy.

Speaker 3 Let's run through some other quarterbacks, determine if they're hat guys or not. Russell Wilson, no.

Speaker 1 Not a hat guy. Easy.
Aaron Rodgers, no. No.
Jimmy Garoppolo.

Speaker 1 Maybe. No, because he's.
No, he's attractive enough that he could probably do anything. Yeah.
He wouldn't, though. Dude, he wouldn't.
He wouldn't, but if he wanted to.

Speaker 1 That's, but we're now talking about hypotheticals. We're just talking about yes or no.
He has a hypothetical

Speaker 5 hypothetically being a good hack guy.

Speaker 1 He could be a good hack guy. He could be.
But you don't know that. No, if he is.
So the answer is no. No, the answer is yes.
Not a hack guy until proven that you are.

Speaker 5 You are not a hack guy until proven that you are one.

Speaker 3 The ceiling that Jimmy G's hack guy-ness reaches is like a tennis player.

Speaker 3 Please tell me what that Google decides to like wear his white cap backwards.

Speaker 1 Searching Jimmy Garoppolo cool hat.

Speaker 3 No, it's not. You're going to find nothing.

Speaker 1 Our guy Baker Mayfield, unfortunately, not. Remember, he wore one at the boxing, whatever boxing match they went to.
That's true. Miles Garrett's fan.
Yeah. Miles Garrett.

Speaker 1 But Baker does a lot of great stuff.

Speaker 3 Miles Garrett should be the guy that determines whether or not you're a hack guy, and he just rips it off.

Speaker 1 If you're not, Jimmy G's hair might be too good for being a cool guy. Like, he wouldn't do that.
You know what I mean? Because his hair is so good. I just think he's attractive enough.

Speaker 1 Cuddy's a hack guy yeah Jake Cuddy's hack I think anyone who lives in Nashville can be a hack guy that kind of is a you can just do it I think just say fuck it if you're retired you can be a hack guy too Mahomes no no Kirk Cousins a classic guy who tries to be a cool hack guy and everyone roasts him

Speaker 1 yes probably um oh sneaky one Kirk Cousins is allowed to wear a hat of his alma mater yes that's about it sneaky one I actually think Dak Prescott is a cool hack guy I think he could like even a cowboy hat like he something that's not a normal hat, I think he'd look good.

Speaker 3 Jared Goff.

Speaker 3 I think so.

Speaker 1 He's attractive in his own right. He's such a handsome man.
He doesn't need a hat.

Speaker 5 You can't be a hat guy until you prove that you are one. You guys are throwing out hypotheticals.
Jared Goff has not gone out there. He hasn't taken that risk.

Speaker 1 No, that's what we're doing. And I'm sure if he did, he would look good, but on the record, he's not a hack guy.

Speaker 3 We're backing up our assertion that we can tell if somebody's a cool hat guy before they even wear a hat.

Speaker 3 So, for example, with Jared Goff, I would say he's probably a hat guy, but he's out-hatted by another quarterback in that room, Blake Bortles, who is very, very,

Speaker 3 very much a hat guy.

Speaker 1 He needs a hat to stay alive.

Speaker 3 Yes, very much a hat guy.

Speaker 1 He's like that old, like, what was that old tale? Like, the woman who had the necklace that kept her head on. Melissa, Straganona.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, that one. That's Blake in his hat.

Speaker 3 Kyler Murray, hat guy, just so he can get up to six feet.

Speaker 1 There it is. Pharrell hat.

Speaker 3 Drew Brees, not a hat guy.

Speaker 1 Robert Griffin III, bucket hat guy.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Rocks that.

Speaker 5 Really cool. Did you win that contest?

Speaker 1 That raffle? No. Did we talk about that in the show? No, we didn't.

Speaker 1 I bought $100 worth of raffle tickets.

Speaker 3 It wasn't a straight-up auction to my dismay because I was going to bet everything or I was going to spend everything on it.

Speaker 3 But there was a raffle where you could take four friends and go train with Robert Griffin down in Florida at his house for a week.

Speaker 5 I think I don't know how we were going to get out of that, but that would have been an awkward conversation.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, you guys were going to come because I was going to say we're going to throw some football.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, we're going to throw some footballs at trees with Robert Griffin down in Florida.

Speaker 1 The best was our friend Stanford Steve had texted me the link like early in the afternoon of that raffle. I was like, who the hell would ever bid on this? And I just replied, PFT.

Speaker 1 And then four hours later, he texted a group and was like, just bid on this. I was like, yep.
Well, I got a text. Do I know my guy? Do I know my guy?

Speaker 3 I got a text from Rossini saying, hey, you're the only person in the world I could think of that would bid on this.

Speaker 3 So, yes, I'm glad that I've somehow staked my brand as being a guy that wants to hang out with Robert Griffin at his house. Very cool brand.

Speaker 1 Very cool, brand. Very, very cool.

Speaker 3 Let's do one more hat guy.

Speaker 3 Joe Burrow.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 3 his hair's too good. No, his hair's too good.

Speaker 1 And it just doesn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 It's not a slight. It's only a slight.

Speaker 5 Joe Burrow is a lunch, you know, a hard hat lunch pail guy.

Speaker 1 He's not like a guy that's trying to get swag points. Here's a hard hat.

Speaker 5 Like his swag comes on the field. He doesn't care about having swag off.

Speaker 1 It's only a slight if the person attempts to wear a cool hat and doesn't pull it off. Right Not being a cool hat, like I'm not a cool hat guy.
I know it. Like that's just something you just know.

Speaker 1 You just grow up and being like, I can never wear a hat like that.

Speaker 3 I think I could be a cool hat. The long hair does a lot to distract me.
I could be a cool hat guy

Speaker 3 in a still picture.

Speaker 3 But if you see me moving, like walking around in real life with a cool hat, I immediately get sniffed at as not being a cool hat guy.

Speaker 5 I think the hair gives you a lot of leeway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but cowboy hat, maybe, but like cool hat, I don't think so. I think he'd look weird in a cool hat.
Cowboy hat, yes.

Speaker 3 There's only one way to find out. There'll be an exclusive cool hat episode.

Speaker 1 That guy from the Yak still in the middle. Yeah, we'll get him.
Yeah, he just makes cool hats. He doesn't have a cell phone, which obviously he's a cool hat guy.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to Hot Seat, Cool Throne.

Speaker 3 Who says we don't have anything to talk about in sports? That was Electric.

Speaker 1 We'll get to the other

Speaker 3 NFL starting quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Can they do it?

Speaker 1 This is the third try for TFT and Hank to chug an entire Bud Light Seltzer. Wow.
Wait, yeah, while I read the Hot C cool throne ad.

Speaker 3 For the record, I did it last time.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go. I need to.
Wait.

Speaker 1 No, get your lips off. Lips off.

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Speaker 1 All right, uh,

Speaker 1 Hank, go ahead.

Speaker 5 All right, my hot seat is Columbian Natives.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 The Quechua?

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 Pabo Escobar, if you guys have heard him, he was a drug lord back in the day. Who's that? A Colombian guy.
He had a private zoo where he brought in all these exotic animals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the hippos still live there.

Speaker 5 The hippos are now killing people.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 So the hot seat is the Colombian people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 The hippos have breeded, and now they're like, it's turning into an uncontrollable situation, and now the hippos have started. It's like, this is the first attack.

Speaker 5 It was something that people were, you know, growing concern over. But this was was the first hippo death that was caused by Papua Escobar.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine

Speaker 3 if there were murder hippos in the United States? Like, the murder hornet trend

Speaker 3 would pale in comparison.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't let that fear get.

Speaker 3 Murder hippos are tough because they are, I think, the most deadly animal in Africa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they are. They are.
What is hippo mode?

Speaker 3 That's when you just chill in the water. That's when your sieb's in the water.

Speaker 5 Got it. It's when you go, yeah, you go like basically up to your eyeballs, but you're just chilling.

Speaker 6 Hmm.

Speaker 5 Okay. And, you know, there's not a lot of water for the hippos to chill.
One of the most depressing planet Earths out there.

Speaker 1 There's not a lot of water for the hippos.

Speaker 5 Like hippo modes can't go hippo mode in water. They're going hippo mode in mud because there's no water.
So they're just

Speaker 5 all

Speaker 1 sitting in mud. Very sad.

Speaker 3 Chris Long's water boy should do something about that.

Speaker 3 In addition to the wells, just make big-ass pools for the hippos to chill in.

Speaker 5 My cool throne is just, you know, old school WWE. We got Undertaker coming up.
Yep. Great interview.

Speaker 5 And this clip, like, this is one of those things, like, kind of with your old sports clips, like, they should just re-air this whole game. But there was a clip that re-aired.

Speaker 1 Dusty Rhodes hitting a three. Dusty Rhodes hitting a three.

Speaker 5 Lex Luger, everyone crashing the paint. It's just one of those clips that you watch over and over and over again.
You analyze every single player, like watching what they're doing.

Speaker 1 They were going so hard.

Speaker 5 Like, all these celebrity games and stuff, I feel like nowadays it's more like sponsors and stuff. I feel like these celebrity games, even like Michael Jordan, like, they would have to play.

Speaker 1 I saw that one with Kenny Rogers getting

Speaker 1 a couple of hours.

Speaker 5 Yes, like, those celebrity games was more like, you know, it'd be like Scotty Pippen's like, hey, guys, can you you guys come play my celebrity game? But they would all come and play dead seriously.

Speaker 5 Right. This game looks like it was absolute, like elbows flying, people crashing the boards, just electric.

Speaker 3 So there's a longer clip of that on YouTube that you can watch. I think it's like five or ten minutes long.
And

Speaker 3 I went and I watched it because I was like, holy shit, Dusty Rhodes had a stroke to him.

Speaker 3 And it turns out that he was wet on that one shot and then he was feeling himself and just started chucking.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 5 I'm going to watch the entire video now because that sounds amazing.

Speaker 1 Shoot yourself till you get hot. Got to keep shooting.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, yours.

Speaker 3 My hot seat is my eyeballs. So my eyeballs are firmly on the hot seat because I don't.

Speaker 5 Is that a new development?

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, but not because of the sunglasses or anything, which, yes, my eyes do suck because I wear sunglasses all the time.

Speaker 5 Well, I thought it was like you put. Oh, I'm not going to.

Speaker 1 What? Go ahead. Hank's just

Speaker 3 sideways. Are we trolling us, Hank? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Collect.
Your eyeballs. Did you get a bad eye test?

Speaker 3 No, I got.

Speaker 3 I have this new TV, and I don't know how to describe it.

Speaker 1 I'll sick brag on buying a new TV.

Speaker 1 I don't know how to describe it. It's a big way, but it's so big.

Speaker 3 It's one of those TVs.

Speaker 1 360.

Speaker 3 Do you know what I'm talking about? It's one of those TVs that, like, the frame rate, I think, is too fast.

Speaker 3 I went too long in between buying televisions that I must have skipped, like, six generations.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's too crystal clear.

Speaker 3 And the frame rate is weird. Like, if you watch

Speaker 3 a recorded show, it seems like they're moving too quickly across the screen. It doesn't look like TV anymore.
Yeah. And I don't know how to describe it.
It might actually be broken.

Speaker 3 Besides saying it's one of the

Speaker 3 picture settings. I've seen them at my friends' places before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those are broken too.

Speaker 3 And I'm always like, oh, it's one of those TVs. And I never want to hang out at the house that has one of those TVs.

Speaker 1 Is it curved? No.

Speaker 1 I think it might be broken. You think so? Yeah, I think you've got to do a settings.

Speaker 3 The real test is going to be when football starts. I'll know if it's fucked up when football starts.
Yes. Yes.
But yeah, if anybody knows how to make your TV not one of those TVs,

Speaker 3 and it's also like you can download a bunch of apps from the internet, which sounds great. But now every time I turn on my TV, it's like five, ten minutes.
I have to like update every app. Yes.

Speaker 3 I can't watch TV anymore on my TV.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got a smart TV. Welcome to TV.
Pull the plug. Yeah, pull the plug.
Cut the cord. Don't do that.

Speaker 1 Cut the cord.

Speaker 3 My cool throne is evolution in terms of the evolution of sports takes because we're seeing one happen before our eyes. We saw one today.
We were lucky enough in history to witness it today.

Speaker 3 LeBron James has been quoted as saying that he would like to have played with MJ, not against MJ. Super teams.

Speaker 3 He won't entertain the hypothetical of LeBron or MJ. He's saying, I think my style would have complemented his because he's a passer and he could set Jordan up.

Speaker 3 So because LeBron gave that one inch on the MJ versus LeBron take, we have debates right now from none other than Stephen A. Smith.

Speaker 3 Now the debate has shifted to would LeBron James be a better Robin than Scotty Pippen is? So now we're comparing that. Now we're saying, would LeBron be a better number two than Scotty was to Jordan?

Speaker 1 So MJ is the goat.

Speaker 3 So now MJ is the goat.

Speaker 1 He takes last shot.

Speaker 3 I think we're ready to move on from that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He still tells you that he did it to himself.

Speaker 1 He did it to himself.

Speaker 1 All right, my hot seat is MJ-related. Horace Grant is on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 So Horace Grant, who was on the show a couple weeks ago, adamantly denied that he was the snitch for Sam Smith's book, Jordan Rules.

Speaker 1 He is still upset about this, and he went on ESPN 1000 today and said,

Speaker 1 as I stated to everybody, that is downright, outright, complete lie, lie, lie, lie. And as I stated, if MJ has a grudge with me, let's talk about it or we can settle it another way.

Speaker 1 Why would Horace Grant think that, well, he's always been on the list, but why would he think watching after watching 10 hours of a guy who's the most grudge holding, like, vengeful person on planet Earth, why would you then be like, let me pick a fight with that guy?

Speaker 1 I actually think we're going to get another last dance of MJ just erasing Horace Grant from history.

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, no one's named Horace anymore. That's another name that he snatched right there.
Yeah, Horace, he said on our show, too, that he wasn't a snitch, right? Correct. So also hot seat us

Speaker 3 for not doing, not getting the publicity for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's also like, it's very well known that he's, but he's mad.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 not a good decision to pick a fight with MJ, but what's Michael Jordan going to do to Horace? Do they run in the same circles now?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I feel like they're good.
But if they see each other, fade on sight.

Speaker 3 I would actually take Horace Grant in a fight.

Speaker 1 You forget that Charles Oakley goes everywhere MJ goes.

Speaker 3 Okay, good point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I think that that would probably settle that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He'd probably just snap his finger and Charles Oakley would come and just bitch slap Horace and that would be it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's tough. That's tough.
I think one-on-one, though, if you see Horace Grant, he's like 6'9, 250. He still looks jacked as hell.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Although MJ would probably fight dirty.

Speaker 1 He wouldn't lose.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's right. He would refuse to lose.

Speaker 1 He would just refuse to lose.

Speaker 1 All right, and then my cool throne is my brain.

Speaker 1 I have an announcement.

Speaker 1 That's our announcement music.

Speaker 1 I started reading a book. Jordan Rules? Nope.
I've read that book. Yeah.
But I started reading a book. What book?

Speaker 1 I can't remember the title. It's about the Silk Road.
It's pretty good.

Speaker 3 It's about the one with Dread Pirate Scott, the guy who set up that

Speaker 1 website. Yeah, yeah.
So not the old Silk Road. No, no, the real,

Speaker 1 the new Silk Road.

Speaker 3 Okay, so now your brain's cooking on different ways because there's no...

Speaker 1 Just my brain's cooking. I have to learn new words.

Speaker 5 I'm pretty sure we can find the timestamp, but there was a point in the beginning of COVID. I was like, how long is it going to take for you guys to read a book?

Speaker 1 That it is. May 18th.
I also have a tweet out there saying, I think about five months ago, that I tweeted, like, I just started a book and everyone thought I was writing a book.

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, no, no, I started reading a book. That was a different book that I never finished.
But I'm going to finish this one, so I'll reply to the tweet when I do finish it.

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, there's a big hole in the marketplace right now for an illegal online drug place.

Speaker 5 So you're reading a book about the internet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I also did this. Ready for this?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get into biohacking

Speaker 1 since Joe Rogan went to Spotify, and now we just get to rule the Apple charts.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to not read my phone before I go to bed. I'll let you guys know how it goes.
Is that biohacking?

Speaker 3 Or is that just like best practices for sales?

Speaker 1 No, biohacking. I'm biohacking.

Speaker 1 I also take

Speaker 1 20-minute cat naps in the middle of the afternoon, biohacking. Okay, that's like what DaVinci used to do.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 What constitutes as before bed?

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Like, I get into bed, I turn on this little thing called a light next to me. I didn't even know it existed until last night.

Speaker 1 And then I open the book, and I start reading until I get tired and fall asleep.

Speaker 3 So you read your book instead of your phone before.

Speaker 1 Correct. It's fucking crazy.

Speaker 3 That is nuts. You are insane.
Yeah. You're basically like living in the 17th century.

Speaker 1 I'll let you guys know how it goes. I'm going to try it again tonight.
We'll see how it goes.

Speaker 3 Okay, I started reading a book too. Yeah, The Game.
The Secret Society Pickup Artists. Oh, nice.
Yeah, so I'm learning the mystery methods. Nice.

Speaker 3 Basically, you just have to be really mean to women, and then they'll like you more. Nice.

Speaker 1 I also

Speaker 1 immediately became

Speaker 1 that annoying book guy, which I have to stop because I, like, when I drove here, I drove with Roan, and I was like, hey, I got this book I think you'd like. I was like, wait, what am I doing?

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Don't be that guy.
Uh-huh. She's being like, hey, passing out book recommendations.
Yeah, I recommend it. Yeah, hey, you want to borrow this book?

Speaker 3 Yeah, sure. That That sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 If I say that to anyone, stop me. If I say the book is better than the movie, that plays.
It does. Because that's the whole reason to read a book so you can say that.

Speaker 3 Big short.

Speaker 3 Are you reading this book because there's going to be a Silk Road?

Speaker 1 I think there will be a movie, and when it comes, I'm ready for it.

Speaker 3 You read the book already?

Speaker 1 Yes. So actually, maybe that will be what I do.
I just read

Speaker 1 the book of movies so I can just go around saying that. Okay, I like that.

Speaker 3 I like that. It's a fascinating story, though, about the Silk Road.
Yes. The dude went from just being a nerd in his apartment.
Uh-huh. he was making like hundreds of millions of dollars.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And he was. Wait, don't spoil it.
He's in jail. Yeah, no, I haven't finished it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I just started. Okay.
I won't say that. I read a hundred pages.

Speaker 3 It's also a great book because he tried to kill his business.

Speaker 1 It's also a great book because each chapter is like four pages.

Speaker 3 That's great.

Speaker 1 It feels like you're making a little appetizer. Just keep biting, biting, biting.
I can't hold my attention longer than that.

Speaker 3 And by reading the game, I mean I went to the glossary and I just read the terms at the end of the day. That works too.
That's like even smaller chapters at the back.

Speaker 1 That works too. All right, let's get to our interview with the Undertaker.
Awesome, awesome interview coming up. I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

Speaker 1 I'm going so I can get Uber One for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.
I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides.

Speaker 1 Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

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Speaker 1 And now, The Undertaker.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 1 Listen, I can't call you Mark Calloway. It is Mark Calloway, but he is The Undertaker.
So if it's okay, we can just say The Taker or The Undertaker for the rest of this interview.

Speaker 1 Is that all right with you?

Speaker 8 How about you? How about you take her? Even the Taker is a little formal, so let's just do Taker.

Speaker 1 How about that? Mr. Taker.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 Taker,

Speaker 1 you are joining us. You have a documentary out that is phenomenal on the WWE network.
It's called The Last Ride. Episode 3 is going to be airing on Sunday.
You can start streaming it at 10 a.m.

Speaker 1 We watched, I watched the first two, and I guess I'll start there because the second episode, which again, you got to watch it because it's awesome.

Speaker 1 The scene of you going to the hospital and all the different surgeries you've had, has there ever been a moment that you've been like, this wasn't worth it?

Speaker 8 Nope.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 8 I can't think of one.

Speaker 8 You know,

Speaker 8 it's one of those deals. You know what you're getting into.
You know what the business is.

Speaker 8 It's physical. And,

Speaker 8 you know, do I wish I had the surgeries? No, but do I regret? you know no i don't have any regrets and

Speaker 8 um you know so far they've all turned out pretty good So

Speaker 8 until somebody screws something up, I'll just keep rolling the dice.

Speaker 1 What's the number? How many surgeries total so far? Like at this point?

Speaker 8 I think it's

Speaker 8 17, 18, probably.

Speaker 1 That's so many. Wow.

Speaker 3 I've always heard that sometimes the hardest bumps to take, the most pain that you're in, aren't necessarily like the worst long-term injuries.

Speaker 3 What's the hardest bump that you've ever had in the ring?

Speaker 8 I tell you,

Speaker 8 years ago, I was working with Yokozuna

Speaker 8 and I'd give him a kind of a flying DDT.

Speaker 8 Now, Yoko at the time probably was closing in on 600 pounds, his body weight.

Speaker 8 And when he hit,

Speaker 8 he hit like a half second before I did on the mat, and it drove up a piece of wood. that caught me in the ribs and snapped two of my ribs.

Speaker 8 That was,

Speaker 8 yeah, that was pretty, that was pretty painful. And

Speaker 8 obviously, I've had a few recently.

Speaker 8 You know,

Speaker 8 the bump that I had in Saudi when I was working with

Speaker 8 Goldberg over there.

Speaker 8 I think that one was,

Speaker 8 I don't know, probably, it was a couple of inches from being probably catastrophic.

Speaker 3 God.

Speaker 8 And,

Speaker 8 you know, that just, I think there was just a lot of of the way I hit on that one. I mean, it was like, it kind of sent out nerve impulses to all my injuries at once.

Speaker 8 It was like an electrical charge went through my body.

Speaker 8 But,

Speaker 8 yeah, I've had some good ones.

Speaker 8 I've had a lot of weird things happen, man, in the ring. It's

Speaker 8 it's,

Speaker 8 I don't even know. After 30 years, I have to, I have to go through the Rolodex of memories to find out all the, you know, all the bad bumps.

Speaker 8 There's been quite a few.

Speaker 3 When was the last time you were surprised by something that happened in the ring? Like you saw something for the first time?

Speaker 8 It's a good question.

Speaker 8 Thank you. Man, I tell you, I don't even know.
I don't even know how to answer that.

Speaker 3 I mean, because I feel like you've seen everything at this point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I've done. You've done so much.

Speaker 8 You know, jumpers, they're not, you know, you're used to seeing jumpers. You're used to,

Speaker 8 you know, ropes breaking. There's this, I mean, it's all kind of happened at one time or another.

Speaker 8 So, really, I don't get too surprised anymore.

Speaker 1 What about one of your most famous matches? I'm sure people ask you about it all the time, but the Hell in the Cell match with Mick Foley Mankind. That match

Speaker 1 is probably my favorite match of all time. Was there any moment during that where you're like, oh my God, like he is so, so hurt and he's still going?

Speaker 8 Yeah, that was

Speaker 8 so, you know, when I threw him off, I mean, that alone,

Speaker 8 you know, I tell people this and they think I'm full of shit, but, you know, I kind of had like an outer body experience when I threw him off onto the table.

Speaker 8 It was like I could see myself standing up there and I could see Mick falling and it seemed like it took an eternity for him to hit that table.

Speaker 8 And then again, another, you know, it seemed like forever before he actually moved.

Speaker 8 But the

Speaker 8 one through the cell,

Speaker 8 when we were both on top and I choked slammed him through the cell, that thing, man,

Speaker 8 I was legit worried that, you know, he wasn't going to get up from that one.

Speaker 3 Is he the toughest person in the WWE?

Speaker 8 He'd have to be, man. I tell you what, you know, Mick knew where his wheelhouse was and, you know, and that's the way he,

Speaker 8 you know, he designed his matches. And

Speaker 8 like some of the bumps he's taken is just like,

Speaker 8 poof,

Speaker 8 they're off the chart. And

Speaker 8 he's got to be, if he, he's definitely, he's definitely top five, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 When you're in a match like that or any match where it's very, very physical, how much talking and dialogue goes on with your, you know, the person you're wrestling with, just checking in, making sure they're okay?

Speaker 8 It depends.

Speaker 8 A lot of it has to do with, you know, what your camaraderie level is with that particular talent uh

Speaker 8 now if something happens where it looks kind of funky like that that didn't look normal i mean you just kind of check in you know make sure all right you know you still there you still cognizant um

Speaker 8 and then there's a lot of times where you know it hurt but they're okay and then you just you know you just talk shit to them yeah the um

Speaker 1 Can we bring up the streak? The streak was the most impressive streak in all of sports history, I think.

Speaker 1 It's the one streak that you could talk, you know, like Joe DiMaggio's streak or something like that, but I think your streak is the one that will never be touched, the WrestleMania streak 21-0.

Speaker 1 I was there the night that

Speaker 3 you lost.

Speaker 1 I was shocked

Speaker 1 when you did lose, was there, like, did that...

Speaker 1 Obviously, everyone knows wrestling and there's, you know, the show must go on, but was there a feeling after that like, man, this really does kind of suck that this streak is is over

Speaker 8 yeah on a personal level uh

Speaker 8 of course i mean it's you know selfishly

Speaker 8 selfishly would i have liked to have gone you know 25 26 and oh of course i mean that would have been that would have been the greatest probably the greatest record in all of you know wrestling but uh business is business and and you know you just got to go with how you know sometimes you're up sometimes you're down And,

Speaker 8 you know, the most important thing out of that one, out of, you know, afterwards, I mean, I was concussed. So

Speaker 8 I didn't even remember it. So it was,

Speaker 8 I was more concerned afterwards about my head, you know, my head to stop hurting and being able to come out of the dark for a couple of weeks. But the streak, it is what it is.

Speaker 8 Like, you know, I just, I double checked with Vince and I said, are you sure that's what you want to do?

Speaker 8 And, you know, he was like, Mark, if it's not him, who's going to, who's going to, who's ever going to beat you?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 8 Right. And I was just like, all right.
I mean, it's your call. And if that's what you want, then that's what we'll do.

Speaker 1 How many days before did, did you have that conversation with him? Because I'm always curious, like, can you say like, hey, how about, like, how about I keep winning? Come on.

Speaker 1 Like, let's, you know, let's maybe just keep this going.

Speaker 8 It had gone back and forth.

Speaker 8 I showed up that day

Speaker 8 thinking I was going over

Speaker 8 and it changed the day of.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 3 So you didn't really, he doesn't leave you that much time to argue with him and to be like, hey, let me change your mind, Vince.

Speaker 8 Well, like I said, we had gone back and forth.

Speaker 8 And then,

Speaker 8 you know, I just talked about it. And like I said, once again, I just had to.
All I wanted to make sure is like he was, that he had thought it all through.

Speaker 8 Because by that point, the streak was,

Speaker 8 you know, it was whoever was the main event, and then

Speaker 8 there was the streak. You know, that was, those two things were

Speaker 8 the two kind of the most important things of WrestleMania.

Speaker 8 If you weren't in the main event, you definitely wanted to be against the Undertaker trying to break the streak. Yeah.
So obviously, when you broke it, you lose that aspect

Speaker 8 of WrestleMania. So I was just, I just wanted to make sure that.
he was confident and that was the decision that he felt comfortable with. And

Speaker 8 the the rest is history, I guess.

Speaker 1 Well, I want to say that I'm partially to blame because I'm somewhat of a jinx when it comes to sports. And that was the one and only WrestleMania I've been to.

Speaker 1 So, and I have the reaction shot because we're filming ourselves. And, like, I was shocked.
I was heartbroken. So I'll own like at least 1% of,

Speaker 1 you know, jinxing you in that spot.

Speaker 8 Wow, man, I really appreciate that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Did you ever get in touch with the guy wearing the just say yes shirt, the guy that was so incredibly surprised to see you lose? Because that's one of the all-time reaction gifts.

Speaker 8 You know,

Speaker 8 I've never,

Speaker 8 I've seen pictures, I've never met him,

Speaker 8 but you're right. That's a real iconic fan shot.
Just the look on his face.

Speaker 3 It said it all.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I, yeah, I mean, I have a similar, not to that expression, but a similar, like, how did this just happen?

Speaker 1 So speaking of gifts, I don't know how active you are on social media, but do you realize that your career is so intertwined with how people use social media, especially watching sports and like this crossover that, like, when a team comes back, you know, it'll be your hand coming out of the dirt or you coming out of the casket?

Speaker 1 Like, you, you are, your wrestling career has crossed over where the gifts, people who don't aren't even fans of wrestling can use that in all types of situations when their sports team makes a comeback.

Speaker 8 Right. Yeah.
I've,

Speaker 8 it's, you know,

Speaker 8 never in a million years would I have guessed the career that I was going to have. Honestly, I've been very blessed and

Speaker 8 obviously very appreciative of that. But yeah, you just never can imagine that kind of stuff.
And,

Speaker 8 you know, I've got a lot of family and friends that just wear me out dropping, you know,

Speaker 8 dropping them to me. It's just, you know, some good, some bad, some funny, some not.
But

Speaker 8 it's kind of cool to know that you have that. that impact across so many different genres of entertainment.

Speaker 3 What about the, I think it it was the match against Brock Lesnar where you just look at him, you stare him in the eye, and you just start laughing when you guys are both sitting on the ground.

Speaker 3 What were you laughing about in that moment?

Speaker 8 So that, that happened in the, I think that happened at SummerSlam. That was after the,

Speaker 8 that was after the WrestleMania.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I don't know, we did something where we both, we, we, we both took bumps, and then I did my, you know, the signature setup.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he was up, and then I did my setup, and he started just he started laughing and so mine was kind of a uh

Speaker 8 evil sarcastic laugh back at him and i i i was shocked at the way people you know that they were so like

Speaker 1 enthralled by that the fact that we were laughing at each other yeah yeah it's a it's a great video it is it really is um i'm always curious with this because you've been part of so many iconic matches and also matches that are like push the boundaries you know an inferno match, a hell in the cell, a buried alive.

Speaker 1 Was there any match that was proposed to you and you're like, that's too far. Like we can't, we can't do that.

Speaker 8 No, um, you know, when you're young and you, you, you think you're invincible, really. And so anything they throw at you, you look at it and you're like, okay, well, how are we going to do it?

Speaker 8 And then, you know, the WWE doesn't leave anything to chance, right? I mean, it's well thought out. And

Speaker 8 the one match I guess I lifted eyebrow to a little bit was the Inferno match.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, fair.

Speaker 8 You know, I was just like, wait a minute, like, how are we going to work and do our stuff with the ropes, you know, on fire?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 3 I think that's a fair concern.

Speaker 1 It's just funny saying that matter of factly, like, hey, hold on a sec. Yeah, so

Speaker 8 that one, you know, I lifted a brow on, but, you know, they told me how they were going to do it. And,

Speaker 8 and, you know, of course, I was in there with Kane, which I had the utmost confidence in. So

Speaker 8 it turned out to be, it turned out to be really good. And

Speaker 8 fortunately, he got lit up and I didn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So speaking of Kane, we've had him on the show.
And, you know, we told him, but I'll tell you as well.

Speaker 1 I think the storyline of you and Kane and Paul Bearer is the greatest storyline that has ever been written in the WWE.

Speaker 1 When you have that all like told to you, like, this is what we're going to do, did you have that feeling? Like, oh my God, this is going to be incredible.

Speaker 8 Yeah, just, but just, I mean, as soon as it was presented to me that my brother Kane was going to show up, I mean, my mind,

Speaker 8 it all clicked immediately because

Speaker 8 when I first started, like my first couple of matches, I was Kane the Undertaker.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 8 Right. And we dropped the Kane part of it.
So it just, so there was just already backstory to it. Wow, did Undertaker take his brother's name?

Speaker 8 You know, and then it just, it just grew and grew. And then, you know, Paul Bear being

Speaker 8 Kane's dad, and it was just the half-brothers. It was just, there were so many layers to it.
And,

Speaker 8 you know, it was like, it was like a really good episode of Jerry Springer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Soap opera.
Yeah. Paul Bear just threatening you.
Like, I'm going to reveal your deepest, darkest secret. Like, what is this? What is this? It was.

Speaker 1 and then the fact that you guys are both just mammoth human beings.

Speaker 1 It's, I mean, I would assume you've been, you know, through so many years of wrestling. Would you say the attitude era in like the late and mid to late 90s was the kind of heyday of

Speaker 1 what you've seen as a wrestler?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I tell you what.

Speaker 8 You know, so

Speaker 8 when I first started in 90 business was really good. And then we, you know, we had a bunch of bad,

Speaker 8 you know, things going on. And, I mean, you know, we were wrestling and I could have took a handful of rocks and thrown it and not hit anybody.
The arenas, the arenas were so empty there for a while.

Speaker 8 And then we battled back. And then,

Speaker 8 you know, then

Speaker 8 the WCW started coming in and, you know, writing checks to everybody. So all the top guys started going down south.
And then they were, you know, they were kicking our ass in the ratings again.

Speaker 8 But, man, when the Attitude Era hit and that that took off and the monday night wars and that was that was the best time ever it really was good yeah uh what is the secret to selling a stone cold stunner the secret to selling a stone cold stunner um

Speaker 8 is make sure that you slam on the brakes about a half second before he does so you don't get your teeth broken noted and then you just you know and you just bounce bounce up and and bounce back and there's a there's some really classic uh stunner cells through the, through the, the Rock always had a great

Speaker 8 stone cold stunner cell.

Speaker 8 Vince's was horrible.

Speaker 1 It was bad. That was bad.
Yes.

Speaker 1 The Rock had a spinal injury every time he got stunned. Like his whole body spasmed.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he would end up side down with his feet up on the ropes.

Speaker 8 I mean, he just, yeah,

Speaker 8 he must, I don't know, Steve must have just added some extra juice on his because they were, they, those were always pretty entertaining to watch.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, how, how awesome is it to know that you have a finishing move that has been grandfathered in that other people can't do, the pile driver?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, that's, you know, it's pretty cool. I'm sure, I'm sure somewhere down the line, somebody will, you know, I've already guys got infringing or infringing on my rope walk.
So. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 8 It's a different era now, man. Back in the day, back in the day,

Speaker 8 you know,

Speaker 8 I would have had to show up and, you know, invite somebody into the shower for a talk. But

Speaker 8 I'm not around enough these days to sweat it.

Speaker 1 So settle this debate that I've always had in my own head. It's a debate with myself.

Speaker 1 When you're coming in for your entrance music, which is iconic, have you ever had a moment where you're like,

Speaker 1 how slow can I actually walk to see how long I can make this last? Because you've had times where it's like, it feels like 25 minutes go by and you're not in the ring yet.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so a lot of times that would just depend on my opponent.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 Like if I was working with somebody that that was pretty limited or I, you know, I thought I was going to have just a really shitty match with, I was like, man, I got to get, I'm going to get my money's worth out of this entrance.

Speaker 8 So,

Speaker 8 so

Speaker 8 yeah, there, there were times that,

Speaker 8 yeah,

Speaker 8 I would take a little bit of extra time because I knew the match was going to to be horrible. So

Speaker 8 I figured I might as well give it to them on the entrance because

Speaker 8 they're going to be disappointed once this thing, once this bell rings.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Has there ever been a time when you've been bored in the ring during an actual match?

Speaker 8 No, not

Speaker 8 in a match.

Speaker 8 I've watched a lot of boring matches.

Speaker 8 But if something's going bad,

Speaker 8 especially if I'm in a tag or,

Speaker 8 you know, we used to do some really different things when when we'd go overseas and have six-man tags just kind of to preserve everybody so you know everybody's not just completely beat up every night it kind of just you know it just makes a little bit easier workload um you know i'd be standing on the apron just

Speaker 8 just cutting loose on people you know cussing them out for doing stupid things in the ring and

Speaker 8 you know trying to coach them and tell them you know what to do and quit doing what they were doing. And of course that, you know, that never helps during the course of a match.

Speaker 8 I found out later, you know, everybody's,

Speaker 8 you know, everybody's ass was already puckered.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, you know,

Speaker 8 but you live and you learn. But

Speaker 8 sometimes you just have to figure out ways to entertain yourself.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 So I'm always curious with this.

Speaker 1 You are universally acclaimed as one of the best wrestlers of all time, but you're also talked about as one of the greatest locker room guys of all time.

Speaker 1 There's no one who says anything bad about Taker.

Speaker 1 So what was your approach and how is it different when it comes to being in a locker room with a bunch of guys who you might have to be competitive with, who you are competitive with, but being more of a teammate and less of a like, I want mine more than you can get yours?

Speaker 8 So, I never, you know, when I came up

Speaker 8 and when, you know, and I was green in the business, you know, the guys didn't help you at all, right?

Speaker 8 And if they did say something, a lot of times it was completely wrong and they were just trying to screw you up because everybody was so protective, you know, of their spots. Um,

Speaker 8 you know, once once I got to WWE and you know, I got into that character, and everything was rolling, it was like my mindset,

Speaker 8 my mindset was, okay, I gotta make

Speaker 8 people better,

Speaker 8 and I gotta get people, you know, I have to be able to help create people so that we have new talent coming in and new fresh people.

Speaker 8 So, I was always trying to,

Speaker 8 if you showed just a little bit of, you know,

Speaker 8 of

Speaker 8 motivation and

Speaker 8 inspired to work, then I would help guys.

Speaker 8 And then, you know, so

Speaker 8 I think both sides, you know, both sides would see that.

Speaker 8 Like the office saw, okay, you know, Take's trying to help these guys. And then the, you know, the boys are like, man, you know, Take's doing this.

Speaker 8 You know, this guy on this spot in the card is willing to help me. So, I kind of built a trust on both sides.
And,

Speaker 8 you know, it was, it was strange because it just, it kind of went against what

Speaker 8 our business was like. You know, there were the boys and then there was management.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 8 You know, and the boys never trusted the management. And the management was always like, oh, man, the boys are going to screw something up.

Speaker 8 So I kind of ended up, you know, fitting somewhere in the middle. So I was trusted on both sides.
The guy, I was always one of the boys,

Speaker 8 but they also knew with me, business always came first.

Speaker 8 You know, I mean, it's

Speaker 8 no secret that you know, we had a pretty serious nightlife back in the day,

Speaker 8 but it was never

Speaker 8 allowed as an excuse for you know, coming in, being sloppy, or getting in trouble, all that. I didn't, you know, I wouldn't put up with that kind of stuff,

Speaker 8 but um,

Speaker 8 you know, it was just

Speaker 8 a weird dynamic, And,

Speaker 8 you know, that's how all that happened. It was just like,

Speaker 8 whatever's good, whatever's going to make the business better,

Speaker 8 that's how I took the approach to things.

Speaker 1 So speaking of, you know, partying back in the days, who was the best drinker that you would, the legendary drinker that you would go out with?

Speaker 8 Other than me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, other than you.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 we had a pretty strong crew there. I'd have to say,

Speaker 8 you know, Yoko was up there. Godfather was up there.

Speaker 8 Bradshaw,

Speaker 8 he could put them away.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 8 we had some serious connoisseurs of brownwater.

Speaker 3 How many beers could Taker put away in one night?

Speaker 8 A lot.

Speaker 8 I never.

Speaker 8 you know what i never i never counted um

Speaker 8 it was always about having a good time and unwinding And

Speaker 8 it was never like set out to like, oh, I'm a, you know, I can drink 38 beers and 20 shots of Jack. I mean, it was just like,

Speaker 8 you know, and I kind of took it as my role because, you know, I had, I had a nice spot.

Speaker 8 And, you know, if you showed up wherever we were at, you know, I felt kind of a lot of times it was my obligation to, you know, share the wealth and buy drinks and make sure everybody had a good time.

Speaker 1 There you go. I love it.

Speaker 3 I love it.

Speaker 3 Going back to your entrances, real quick, rank your favorite entrances like by theme, because you've had some of the best songs of all time in American history accompany you on the way into the ring.

Speaker 3 American Badass by Kid Rock, Roland by Limp Biscuit. The list goes on.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 8 I'd have to say, because I just, when I did the switch from Undertaker to American Badass and then using, you know, Kid Rock's song, I mean, it fit so good for what we were trying to do.

Speaker 8 I mean, that had a lot of juice. And then when we lost the rights to that,

Speaker 8 you know,

Speaker 8 you know, limp biscuit was, you know, that worked too.

Speaker 8 But

Speaker 8 I think

Speaker 8 for the entrances,

Speaker 8 you know, just, I think the old school Undertaker entrances with, you know, the smoke and the fire.

Speaker 8 One of my favorite ones is when I came from underneath and

Speaker 8 I had all the shadows and it looked like all the souls from hell were trying to grab me. And

Speaker 8 that was one of my favorites. Man, we've done so many.

Speaker 8 That

Speaker 8 production crew is so talented. And

Speaker 8 they can't wait

Speaker 8 those couple days before Mania for me to come in for rehearsal just to show me what they've come up with.

Speaker 8 And then, you know, we tweak it. And

Speaker 8 there's been a lot.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if you are a religious man but i assume you've been in a church at least a few times in the last 20 30 years do people give you a weird look they're like dude you're ministry of darkness like where's viscera like what are you doing here

Speaker 8 no you know funny enough

Speaker 8 they don't um i would i'd be like what's going on here my wife uh you know she got me to start going to church again and i was telling her like i like babe i'm telling you when i walk through those doors you know there's gonna be thunder rolling and lightning strikes and i had myself convinced i was like you know people are gonna think that you know yeah the devil has walked in here and

Speaker 8 uh but it was it was all fine but you know you get you kind of get your own head sometimes about stuff like that because people

Speaker 8 because i've been so protective for so many years right like i don't people only got to see what i let them see sure yeah yeah so

Speaker 8 yeah, so in my mind, I'm thinking, wow, you know, well, maybe they'll be they'll be okay if I'm not in my hat and my coat.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah,

Speaker 3 you bring up an interesting point because you know, you have been protective about your personal life, you haven't been doing too many interviews until you know, just recently.

Speaker 3 Has that been a positive thing? Like, have you felt that it's been therapeutic to be able to open up a little bit about things?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, it wasn't, you know, when we started doing this docket,

Speaker 8 honestly, the, the, the mindset of it, I just wanted to,

Speaker 8 so the WrestleMania with Roman, I thought was going to be it for me. I was so beat up, and, you know, I needed, you know, I needed my certain my hip fixed, and

Speaker 8 I was pretty determined that that was going to be it. So all of this thing started out by me just wanting to kind of document those last couple days.

Speaker 8 And,

Speaker 8 you know, and then it, next thing you know,

Speaker 8 we're three years down the road.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 then we have all this footage. And now we have this docuseries.
But

Speaker 8 it's taken me a while to feel comfortable,

Speaker 8 you know, talking like this. You know, I'm like the, I'm a dinosaur as far as our business goes.
I'm the last guy probably to try to protect Kayfabe.

Speaker 8 And, you know, I cringe, you know, I'm getting it over it now, but I mean, I would cringe when I would hear people, you know, just talk about the ins ins and outs of the business.

Speaker 8 You know, it's just like, oh, God, you know, but it's, it's, it's where we're at. And, you know, it's a sign of the times, and that's where we are.
So

Speaker 8 it, it, it's, you know, it's kind of cool. I think, you know, people have been wanting for years to for me to, you know, kind of peel back the curtain and let them see.

Speaker 8 So that's kind of what that's kind of what we ended up with. And, you know, the more, the more times I talk about it, the, the easier it gets.
And

Speaker 8 it's, yeah, I guess it has been kind of cathartic to be able to talk about certain things that

Speaker 8 I've just completely, you know, not ever attempted to, you know, bring up or talk about.

Speaker 3 Yeah, in a weird twist, it's like the fact that you didn't break KFabe for so long, the fact that you were so secretive for so long is helping this project that you're working on right now.

Speaker 3 Like it, it actually has become a huge benefit to you because everything that you say, it's like you know, brand new stuff from Taker and it gets press all the time.

Speaker 3 So, it's been great for promotion, I would think.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, it has because you know, there's a lot of times, like, wait, who's doing what? He's doing what? He's no,

Speaker 8 you know, because years I just had to turn all that stuff down,

Speaker 8 you know. I turned down other

Speaker 8 outside projects because to me,

Speaker 8 and what my mindset on this whole process was, is like, I I can't go and do,

Speaker 8 you know, I can't like go and do a movie where I'm,

Speaker 8 you know, I'm a different character and then come back and then try and be Undertaker.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 8 To me, it was just too big of a disconnect. So everything got put on the shelf.
And then,

Speaker 8 you know, just here within the last couple of years, have I even

Speaker 8 begun to attempt, you know, doing social media. And,

Speaker 8 and then now, obviously, here we are with this, with this docuseries.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 8 you know, yeah,

Speaker 8 I'm a work in progress, I guess.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'll cross off the question. I was going to ask, what happens when you get buried alive? Because I was convinced as a kid that you actually were buried alive.

Speaker 1 So if you do want to keep that off the record, that's fine. We don't have to ask.
We don't have to talk about that.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 8 Well, I won't go into the details of how it's done, but I was buried alive.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Thank God. Okay.

Speaker 8 Your eyes, you know, there's always so much that we can do. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
You were buried alive. There was dirt on your design.
Yes.

Speaker 1 There was dirt on my person. Yes.
Gotcha. I'm happy I asked that then.
All right. So I have one last question.
Everyone, go watch The Last Ride.

Speaker 1 It is on WWE Network.

Speaker 1 Episode 3 is coming out Sunday. This is kind of a morbid question.
And I... Taker, I want you.
You're one of my favorite wrestlers of all time. I want you to live to 120.

Speaker 1 But is there a part of you that thinks it's kind of cool that, like, when you do someday die, people just won't believe that you're dead? Like, I won't, I'll just be like, he's going to come back.

Speaker 1 He'll be back.

Speaker 1 I'll be waiting for you to walk down

Speaker 1 at WrestleMania in like 40 years. Be like, here he comes out of a coffin.
This is awesome. Yeah, man.
You never know.

Speaker 1 Yes. You live on.
You're immortal. You're immortal.
Well, wasn't there a rumor a couple years ago? Yes, you're immortal.

Speaker 3 There was a rumor that you did die.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Oh, yeah. You're immortal.
It happens all the time. Right.
And you just,

Speaker 1 I will forever, until I die, I'll be like, here comes Undertaker. Like, he will, here comes his music.
All I have to do is hit the music, and I'll be like, here he is.

Speaker 8 Yeah, well, we'll see. Hopefully, I better not lose that music then for a while.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they can't take the rights back.

Speaker 1 Yes, I mean, you need to hold on to that music. But I think it's just cool because you're just,

Speaker 1 it's, you know, it's obviously because I grew up in the Attitude era, but there's something about your character and everything, all the work you've done.

Speaker 1 It's like this guy is immortal and it's fucking so badass.

Speaker 8 Well, I appreciate that, man. I really do.
Thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 One last, last question, then we'll let you go. We ask all the wrestlers that come on the show this, have you ever sneezed in front of events?

Speaker 8 Have I ever sneezed?

Speaker 8 I think actually I leave the room. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That makes sense. Even you're afraid to.

Speaker 8 I get away with a little more than a lot of people probably do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I also read, what's this about? You're scared of cucumbers?

Speaker 8 Okay, let's get this straight. Now,

Speaker 8 we've had a good conversation.

Speaker 8 I'm not scared of cucumbers. I just don't like cucumbers.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 It's not like you're one of those videos with cats where you put a cucumber on the ground next to a cat and it jumps because it thinks it's a snake.

Speaker 1 I just like the idea of Undertaker, the biggest badass ever. If you just, if you bring a cucumber into the room, you can make him a little kid.

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 1 I'll probably leave the room.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 8 I mean, I'm not going to run.

Speaker 1 You'll walk briskly out of the room.

Speaker 8 I will, I'll, yeah. I just, and if they're, they're whole, that's, that's one thing.
But if they're cut up, no, that's just, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, just like the cucumber man is a wrestler that can basically be used. That's how you should have lost in WrestleMania.
The cucumber man just coming out slinging cucumbers at your face.

Speaker 1 People would have bought that a lot more. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I would have slipped on a cucumber.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Does that go for pickles too?

Speaker 8 Man, the hair on my neck's starting to stand up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, I apologize for that last question, but this has been awesome.
Thank you so much. Everyone, go check out The Last Ride on WWE Network.
I can't recommend it enough.

Speaker 1 I've watched the first two episodes. It's great.
Episode three coming out on Sunday.

Speaker 8 Guys, I appreciate you, man. I love your show.
And thanks for having me on.

Speaker 1 Thanks so much, Trapers. Appreciate it.

Speaker 3 That interview with Taker was brought to you by Meondi's. Our good, good friends at Meon D's.
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Okay, let's get some segments.

Speaker 1 First up, we got a not to brag, but we called it. What do we call?

Speaker 3 So we called the sex dolls. Yes.
The sex dolls being put in the stands.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I believe

Speaker 3 it was a soccer league that was forced to apologize for using sex dolls in place of their empty seats, which, if you're going to have a surplus of sex dolls, why not put them in seats?

Speaker 3 I don't have a problem with that. I'm actually more offended that they apologized to us about putting sex dolls in the stands than they are that they actually did it.

Speaker 1 I agree. Sex dolls, although, now that I'm thinking about it, sex dolls are in high demand probably right now in quarantine times.
So maybe we shouldn't have them go to the games.

Speaker 3 It's a waste of sex dolls? Yeah. Send them to more needy consumers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in sales.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It also brings up an interesting point, which is when does a sex doll become a sex doll?

Speaker 3 I think it's after you have sex with it. Oh.

Speaker 3 I don't think it's a sex doll.

Speaker 1 It's just a doll. It's just a friend?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a doll until you have sex with it.

Speaker 1 True, but were these already sexed sex dolls?

Speaker 3 There might be one guy on quality control at the sex doll place.

Speaker 3 Just one pump on every doll to make sure it works.

Speaker 3 And then you ship them out. In which case, then, yes, they are sex dolls.
Are they like retrievers, like a golden retriever, which even before it retrieves anything, it's still a retriever, right?

Speaker 3 By its very nature? Yes. The dog.

Speaker 3 So that's an interesting debate that I think

Speaker 3 we need to explore a little bit further here. But I feel like until penetration occurs,

Speaker 3 it's just a doll. It's a man.

Speaker 1 It's just a doll.

Speaker 3 It's just a doll.

Speaker 1 It's just like it's no different than

Speaker 1 any doll. Really? Some dolls.

Speaker 3 Really, it becomes a sex doll when somebody else finds out that you had sex with them.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our Mount Flushmore.

Speaker 1 Mount Flushmore of business decisions. Now, this is completely random that we've picked this topic.
It has nothing to do with anything that's happened this week.

Speaker 3 I mean, there's a lot of talk of negotiations going on right now. Right.

Speaker 1 People just turning down the Joe Rogan stuff. They should get the stuff.
Yeah, the Joe Rogan stuff.

Speaker 3 No, the Joe Rogan stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Joe Rogan stuff.

Speaker 1 So this is the Mount Flushmore of business decisions. So basically, the worst business decisions ever made.
PFT goes first and then Hank or then me?

Speaker 3 Okay. Yeah, I go first, right? Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay.

Speaker 3 Right off the bat, this is an easy one. Blockbuster not buying Netflix for $50 million.
Yep. So they had that offer back in, I think, the early 2000s.

Speaker 3 Blockbuster was like, no, people like coming into our physical retail locations for the smell. Yes.
Which, to be fair, the Blockbuster blockbuster smell is a great smell. Yes.

Speaker 3 I will give that to them. But much like Subway, where the smell inside of a subway is delicious.
I'm talking about the sandwich restaurant,

Speaker 3 not the train place.

Speaker 3 But the product behind the smell does not live up to the smell. So they had the opportunity to squash Netflix and they didn't.
That was an easy number one for me.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I got an easy number one as well. It's Ronald Wayne, the famous businessman who sold 10%

Speaker 1 of Apple in 1976 for $800.

Speaker 3 Well, in today's money, that's $100 billion.

Speaker 3 But I'm doing the math. Woo! Yeah, it's a little short.
That's probably like $5,000 in today's money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that one's tough. He would have been part of the, he was part of the co-founding Apple team and won it out.
And yeah,

Speaker 3 that sucks. That's the honorable mention goes to Bill Gates for bailing out Apple and bringing them back in to compete against himself because Steve Jobs was his friend.

Speaker 1 Iron sharpens iron. Hank, your first pick.

Speaker 5 You guys just took two of mine. Okay.

Speaker 5 I'll go, I guess, with the Red Sox trading the Babe Ruth, best baseball player of all time, for the rights to a play.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 That's like it seemed like the right idea at the time.

Speaker 3 Probably a huge mistake. What was the play?

Speaker 5 No, no, Nanette.

Speaker 3 Have you seen it?

Speaker 1 Have I seen it? No. You do well.
It might be good.

Speaker 5 I was seen in 1918.

Speaker 3 It might be a jam. Also, Hank, the fact that you didn't have to deal with any of the heartbreak from that, you didn't have to deal with the Babe Ruth curse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did. For how many? He was 12 years old.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I was 11.

Speaker 5 2003 was terrible for me.

Speaker 1 Okay, good first pick.

Speaker 5 My second one, I will go with ESPN canceling Barcelona Vantalk and making an entire demographic of young male adult sports fans hate them forever.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Okay.
Good pick.

Speaker 3 Why only male?

Speaker 5 Well, demographic. Demographic.

Speaker 5 We have a large young male demographic.

Speaker 5 I'm not saying we only have, I'm just saying that demographic we possess. As well as females.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 I'll go with.

Speaker 5 Those sick fucks at ESPN only care about the male demo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How about my second? It's true.

Speaker 3 It's disgusting, isn't it? It is.

Speaker 1 It's disgusting. My second.

Speaker 1 I'll go with.

Speaker 1 I'll go with the record company Deca Records that turned down the Beatles.

Speaker 1 Turned down the Beatles.

Speaker 1 It's a dick cut. Yeah, and

Speaker 1 I mean, that's basically the worst business decision ever to turn down the Beatles. They went and auditioned for him, and they're like, nah, we don't want you.

Speaker 3 Wow, that sucks.

Speaker 3 Wasn't there another Beatle that also quit the Beatles?

Speaker 1 Pete Best quit the Beatles. Pete Best, yeah.
I think he got kicked out.

Speaker 3 In favor of Ringo?

Speaker 1 They're like, Ringo is a better drummer than that? It was a five-man. It was a five-man for him.
Okay, all right. I'm pretty sure.
But yeah. He's the dancing guy.

Speaker 1 Imagine being the record executive who turned down the Beatles, which I'm pretty sure they are the number one

Speaker 1 selling artist of all

Speaker 1 time.

Speaker 5 Drake, PFT's boy.

Speaker 1 Drake's it?

Speaker 5 Or he has the most number ones. He has the most number ones.
He passed that.

Speaker 3 He had Spotify, a platform that nobody else was.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 Whatever record the Beatles have, like the most number one records or gold, whatever the fuck you call it, Drake recently passed them.

Speaker 3 Okay, in streams, though. No.

Speaker 1 If

Speaker 3 the Beatles were around right now and they were streaming, they had, like, I think 20 number one hits. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They would have hit after hit after hit after hit.

Speaker 5 Second most Billboard hot top 100 top tens.

Speaker 3 Hang on, Liam is coming to the defensive Drake.

Speaker 5 Oh, but I guess Madonna is actually in first. So it goes Madonna, Drake, Beatles.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Pete Best was kicked out of the band. He was the drummer.
He was kicked out of the band. That's tough.
That is tough look. But he was kicked out, so that was a good business decision for the Beatles.

Speaker 3 All right, my next one, I'm going to go with...

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with the Mets Bobby Benier contract.

Speaker 3 Not because it's unheard of in sports, because there are a a lot of contracts that are set up in that spirit these days, but the fact that it was the first and most visible of those contracts, and we get Bobby Benilla Day every single day.

Speaker 3 Every single day. Or every single year.
I mean, was it the first of July?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think something like that.

Speaker 3 And everyone brings it up all the time. Whenever it happens, it's like, holy shit, I can't believe that the Mets did this.
They're still doing it.

Speaker 3 And they're still doing it, and it's going to happen in about a month and a half from now. It's going to be great.

Speaker 3 My third pick is going to be Cam Newton in the Super Bowl. Bad business decision.
Did not jump on that fumble. Everyone talks about it to this day.

Speaker 3 And then he didn't talk to Pete Prisco after the game and answer for himself. So he doubled down on his mistake.
Yep.

Speaker 1 See you, Cam. I'll go my next pick.
I'll go with Mark Cuban not buying 10% of my brain. He's an idiot.
That was a dumb business decision.

Speaker 1 I'm going to make that money back. It was for a million dollars.
He regrets it.

Speaker 3 $1 million.

Speaker 1 And he got all my lifetime earnings from that day forward. How stupid.

Speaker 1 Now, some may say if he had given me a million dollars, I would have just basically quit everything and thought I was set for life and done nothing with my life.

Speaker 3 But you would have a risk you got to take. You would have taken the over.
You would have put a million dollars.

Speaker 1 I would have made

Speaker 1 another million dollars, then I would have to give him. Think about that.
Come on, what an idiot.

Speaker 1 Your picks.

Speaker 5 I will go with Adidas not

Speaker 5 putting a good enough pitch together for Michael Jordan when he actively said that he wanted to go there and wasn't even going to take the Nike meeting, but his mom convinced him to.

Speaker 5 Probably a huge mistake considering he sold like $100 million worth of shoes in his first year.

Speaker 5 And then my last one, I don't have one, so I'm going to think really quick. Okay.
And I'm just going to go.

Speaker 3 You could go with a draft pick.

Speaker 5 Yeah, what's that?

Speaker 5 I mean, business

Speaker 5 decision.

Speaker 3 I still believe in Darko, though.

Speaker 3 A little bit more time to learn the American game.

Speaker 1 Do you want one of mine? Sure. Crystal Pepsi.

Speaker 1 That was a bad business decision.

Speaker 3 I enjoyed Crystal Pepsi.

Speaker 1 Nah, you didn't. You liked it because it was novel, but it wasn't special.

Speaker 3 I think back on it with fond memories.

Speaker 1 What about

Speaker 1 the burger with the black bun? Didn't they do that? Didn't Burger King do that? Or, oh,

Speaker 1 I don't think we can say it. Well, no, we can.

Speaker 1 Chicken fries?

Speaker 5 I love chicken fries. Yeah, but they came back.

Speaker 1 They came back out.

Speaker 1 How about Mr.

Speaker 3 Wonderful passing on Listerquil immediately when he saw you?

Speaker 1 Sure. Let's go with that.
Okay. Okay, good one.
All right, my last one is Frederick Weiss not getting out of the way of Vince Carter.

Speaker 1 Worst business decision he's ever made. Yep.
Yep. It was the most vicious, nut-dragging dunk in history of basketball.

Speaker 3 Sometimes the worst business decisions are the ones that you don't make.

Speaker 1 Right. So he just got posterized forever.
Literally, there have been better dunks. There have been dunks that are maybe more memorable, but

Speaker 1 there's never been a dunk quite like a full-on ball sack to the face in live competition.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 3 That was a bad one. That was a bad one.
My last one, I'm going to go with,

Speaker 3 I think it was News Corp. They bought MySpace for $580 million.
Oof. And then they sold it later for $35 million.

Speaker 1 Oof. Oof.

Speaker 3 Took a little bit of a bath on that. They were thinking that it was going to be the next Facebook, or they thought it was going to be the first Facebook when they bought it.
They were wrong.

Speaker 3 But shout out MySpace Tom. Good for him.
MySpace Tom got paid. You don't hear about him anymore.

Speaker 3 He's not like influencing elections and get called before the House of Representatives. He's not being mocked because he's grilling meats in front of his big green egg like a robot.

Speaker 3 MySpace Tom is just chilling with probably $250 million in the bank. So shout out him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a big shout out to him. Any other ones that we missed? I had

Speaker 1 the dudes, well, pets.com. I don't even know who no one made money off that, right? Or someone did.

Speaker 3 No one made any money off the internet in the early 2000s.

Speaker 1 Well, Mark Cuban. Damn it.

Speaker 1 Excite, the search engine, could have bought Google for $750,000 in 1999.

Speaker 3 That's tough that they passed on that.

Speaker 1 Yes. That's a really bad question.

Speaker 3 What is Google worth right now?

Speaker 1 The entire world.

Speaker 1 Is their number? Google owns Google. Google, a gazillion.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 Steve Jobs, when they were creating computers, wanted to just work for Atari.

Speaker 3 That was his life's dream is to design video games?

Speaker 1 Well, he was like, we're using your instruments to build this computer. Like, we'll just work for you.
And Atari was like, no.

Speaker 3 No, thank you, Steve Jobs. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That was was tough too yeah um I also had Mark Cuban not investing Big Cat's brain on my list that got taken that was a dumb move by him the XFL not signing me that was also a dumb business choice very bad business decision the reason it fell apart absolutely some say yes um all right any other ones softbank

Speaker 3 softbank invested in uh we work

Speaker 3 they gave him ten billion dollars at a 47 billion dollar valuation and didn't really do any checking behind it they just met the cult leader that runs we work and they're they're like, This guy is hypnotizing me, so here's $10 billion.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Oh, Billy Football going to college.

Speaker 3 That was a stupid business decision. Changing to wide receiver.
Yep, changing to wide receiver.

Speaker 1 Yep. That was a dumb, dumb business decision.

Speaker 3 I can't think of any other bad business choices recently.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Any that are like bar store-related?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 3 yeah.

Speaker 1 That one was probably bad.

Speaker 1 You fuck you.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that's it. Okay, Malfush for our business decisions.
Nothing else in the news. All right, let's finish up.
Guys on chicks. Hank, take it away.

Speaker 5 Hey, daddies.

Speaker 3 What's up?

Speaker 5 I recently got involved with a sugar daddy who's been paying my bills. Now, with the pandemic going on, he informed me that he couldn't afford to keep this up because he was out of work.

Speaker 5 He offered for me to move in. I am attracted to him, but he also doesn't know I have a long-distance boyfriend, and he will definitely find out if we live together.
What should I do?

Speaker 1 I mean, move in?

Speaker 3 The whole sugar daddy relationship is a little bit more difficult.

Speaker 5 I mean, if he's a sugar daddy and he's fucking out of work, like, how he's got a hell of a drink, there are no sugars left. It's been like a month.

Speaker 3 He's like a diet Coke daddy right now. Right.
Like a saccharin daddy, an aspartame daddy. Don't know.
You don't, yeah, this is flying in the face of what a sugar daddy relationship should be.

Speaker 3 And I like how

Speaker 3 he's trying to make up for the fact that he can't buy you anything right now by saying well maybe we could just spend all our time together yeah so maybe you could hear me take a dump yeah sounds like this is a bad deal for you this is a bad business decision if you do not do it to go with the sacrament yes would you guys rather have as many kids as philip rivers or have one kid who hates sports and won't talk slash watch slash attend a sports game

Speaker 3 I think one kid.

Speaker 1 Phillip Rivers.

Speaker 3 I think one kid because that's just more sports for me. I don't have to spend money on tickets to games.

Speaker 5 That would suck, though. But that's like an, it's kind of the opposite.
I don't think that's not how it works.

Speaker 1 That's not how it works.

Speaker 3 I still have to take my kid that doesn't like sports to the same thing.

Speaker 1 No, you have to do the shit that he wants to do. With your kid.
So he wants to play.

Speaker 3 I'm going to the game. I can't relate to that.
No, we're going to the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, multiple kids.

Speaker 3 Nine kids? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Give me nine kids. Dude, house full of love.
It's like Michael Scott. You never have to worry about having a friend.

Speaker 3 One of those kids is going to make it to the NBA.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Odds.
Well, not one of your kids.

Speaker 1 Is it weird?

Speaker 1 Is it weird? What does that mean, Hank?

Speaker 5 I mean, it depends on your marriage, I guess.

Speaker 5 Is it weird for a guy to call you mommy during sex? Or for two twin brothers to have both called you mommy in separate sexual encounters?

Speaker 1 Was assuming. Wait, you fucked two twins?

Speaker 5 Was assuming they got breastfed too long, but maybe it's not as weird as I think.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is one of those ones where you think you're telling us about someone doing something weird and you forgot that you're actually telling on yourself for fucking a pair of twins separately.

Speaker 3 It's every girl's dream. Am I right, Daddy? daddy's like

Speaker 1 we love twins you spilled the tea on that one be like look at these weirdo twins that i keep fucking saying mommy although wouldn't it be pretty cool if you just

Speaker 3 you made up a twin for yourself you think anybody's done that where they tell a girl like hey i have an identical twin and then you get to go

Speaker 3 you get to go over later and you're like hey i'm my twin's brother

Speaker 3 except i like i don't I'm not interested in dating you like my twin is. Just like having fun.
Keeping it spicy. Yeah.
Nah. The fake twin.
The fake twin.

Speaker 1 It's an interesting concept.

Speaker 5 Alright, here's another lead, Barry.

Speaker 5 Hi, boys. Last year for my boyfriend's birthday, I rented out an entire box for him and his friends at a game for my boyfriend's favorite hockey team.

Speaker 5 He supported this NHL team his whole life and their center is his current favorite player. Uh-oh.

Speaker 5 The problem is I was able to get the box at a friendly rate because I used to hook up with said player. We're still cordial and he has a new girlfriend, so there's nothing bad going on.

Speaker 5 But I still have never never told my boyfriend because I worry it will make him unhappy. But recently, my boyfriend joined Instagram and saw that this player follows me and is curious as to why.

Speaker 5 What do you think the right move is here? P.S. Go Ducks.

Speaker 1 Go what?

Speaker 6 Ducks.

Speaker 3 Oh, I thought she said go ducks. I was like, you're fucking

Speaker 3 Jumbo Thornton? I don't know. Is he a sinner?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think he's on the Ducks.

Speaker 6 He's the Sharks.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, Sharks. I'm in Sharks.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the move is here. I do not know.

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 it's going to be a real test of how big of a fan he is.

Speaker 5 If he's a real fan, he'll dump your ass.

Speaker 3 If he's a real fan of the team?

Speaker 1 No, he'll ask to watch.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he'll be like, hey, let's get him over. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a real fan.

Speaker 5 If he's a real fan, he'd be like, I'd rather support the team than support you and have to worry about you.

Speaker 1 He is.

Speaker 3 What better way to support the team than sharing love?

Speaker 1 The issue I have with this is I feel like saying, like, we haven't hooked up in a while, but I just hit him up for a box.

Speaker 1 That doesn't, that doesn't really jive.

Speaker 3 That's true.

Speaker 1 That's that's not

Speaker 1 smells a little stinky to me.

Speaker 3 That's not a, we used to have a thing movie.

Speaker 1 People don't, I don't care how rich people are, they don't give away free boxes. Like, that's just not something that people can give away.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got discounted price. Okay, all right, maybe.

Speaker 1 Um, I would just not tell him.

Speaker 5 Not tell him.

Speaker 5 What should she say for why does the guy follow her?

Speaker 1 I'm hot. Aren't you jealous? Isn't this awesome? Your favorite player thinks I'm hot?

Speaker 3 Do you think if you're a massive fan of this team and you find out that your girlfriend used to date one of your heroes, the date is loose here.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 doesn't that make you feel better?

Speaker 3 You're like, hey,

Speaker 3 her top two flings of all time are my hero and me. It makes you feel like you're in the same league as that guy.

Speaker 1 Maybe wait till he gets traded and be like, fuck that guy. He's like, fuck that guy.
And she's like, I have.

Speaker 1 And then just hope that and then and then he says, what? And you're like, what?

Speaker 1 And then whenever, if he does ever find out, be like, no, I told you. That time you said, fuck that guy.
And I said, I have.

Speaker 3 So the biggest key in this is to make sure if you decide to tell him that you used to hook up with this guy, you have to make sure that his friends don't find out because he's going to get roasted in every group chat that he's ever on for the rest of his life.

Speaker 5 All right, we'll end it with this one.

Speaker 5 Hey guys, just want to know if this was a normal occurrence or not.

Speaker 5 So my boyfriend's dad bought a boat they keep in Dewey Beach, Delaware, and this weekend his parents won't be in town, so he wants to go boating.

Speaker 5 We've done this many times before, but this time he asked if I would take my top off while we're on the boat. Obviously, he's seen me naked.
I know. Congrats on the sex.

Speaker 5 But he said he has a fantasy of topless girls on boats. Is this normal?

Speaker 1 Pam Anderson.

Speaker 5 What's the worst that could happen if other people see me topless riding around the bay?

Speaker 1 This is...

Speaker 1 Way to really way to really get romantic, dude. To ask your girlfriend like days in advance, can you take your top top off for me on the boat? Like, dude, just have a little sense of the moment.

Speaker 1 Just wait till you're on the boat. And then, yeah, then sweet talk her and

Speaker 3 try to play around a little bit and see if it happens.

Speaker 1 It's a wild thing to just

Speaker 3 send her a calendar.

Speaker 5 You're on the boat this weekend on one condition.

Speaker 3 Here's a calendar invite for 1 p.m. on Saturday.

Speaker 3 You're taking those Tatas out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll wait till we're at least five miles out to sea.

Speaker 3 And Big Cat's absolutely right. It's just because he watched the panel.

Speaker 1 He's going to try to honk the boat horn with his dick. And it's not going to be big big enough.
Tell him that. It's like, I know what you're trying to do.
And guess what? You're not Tommy Lee.

Speaker 3 It'd be funny if he is subtly recreating all his favorite porns that he's watched growing up. Like, he's like, hey, I'm going to take a break from

Speaker 3 going out by the pool. Can you come into my bedroom and just be wearing a bikini top? And then just say, hey, what you doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hey,

Speaker 1 can we turn these lights off real quick? And I just want to come on your back.

Speaker 1 And then you can have your own reality show?

Speaker 3 Hey, can you act like you own this hotel that we're in right now?

Speaker 1 Act like I'm a prostitute coming in. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Yeah, doing the parasilton.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 I got this taxi. Can we just fuck in the back of it real quick?

Speaker 1 I like this. This guy, you know, he's just knocking down.
Yeah, but he just killed the romance. So I would say,

Speaker 1 maybe next time, try to be a little more romantic about it. That's all you got to do.

Speaker 1 All right, that's our show. Remember, dude, perfect documentary review Friday.

Speaker 1 And we have

Speaker 1 a couple interviews coming up on Friday. So get ready.
See you then.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Now, usually I don't do this, but

Speaker 1 go ahead and buck them off for using the remix. Remix, remix, remix, remix, remix.

Speaker 1 I'm a rolling and body. Got everything that intuition.
It's just been a fucking bum. I'm like the water drone.
Yo, freaking weakened with him about the hobby for fun.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to be fooled, but hey, pretty girl, feeling you. The way you do the things you do, reminds me of my ladies' school.
That's why I'm all familiar with real. Tryna get to a home potato.

Speaker 1 You must be a football coach. The way you got me playing the field, so baby, give me that dude, too.
Let me get a hit bitch running hot down to my fro. I'm going to fold.

Speaker 1 Hot and fresh out the kitchen. I'm a rolling body.
Got everything everything to wishing. This is been a fucking wrong, I'm like the one drum.

Speaker 1 It's the freaking weekend, they're about to have me come on.

Speaker 1 Stop talking in the fresh navigator. I'm doing a wish, cause it's a problem with cable.

Speaker 1 I call the shoe, it's the out

Speaker 1 of the air. I call the party, it's the whole channel, yeah.
I'm about 400.

Speaker 1 Make it to your room, man.

Speaker 1 Can I get up

Speaker 1 I can fresh out the kitchen. On my road, and everybody's gotta do that in the wishing.
If it's been a fucking roll, I'm like the one dorm.

Speaker 1 Go be up in the song,

Speaker 1 weak and dream about the house and all.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Far Stool Sports.