The Last Dance Finale, Karl Malone, And Mt Rushmore Of Grit Week Moments

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have the Last Dance episodes 9 and 10 review. We also have special guest Carl Malone on the show.
Tried to ask him a lot about The Last Dance. He really wants to talk about what he wants to talk about, but interesting interview.
He had his shirt off the entire time.

He was sitting in his hunt. Carl Malone on the show.
Tried to ask him a lot about the last dance. He really wants to talk about what he wants to talk about.

But interesting interview.

He had his shirt off the entire time.

He was sitting in his hunting trophy room.

I don't even know what it was.

But it was kind of a wild one.

We also have Billy Football breaking down the history of the Tampa 2, the cover 2 defense.

We have Who's Back of the Week and a very special Mount Rushmore of Grit Week moments because today would be the start of Grit Week if the world was anywhere normal. But it's not, so instead we'll go down memory lane, throw in a couple clips of it.
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You get $ ten dollars to the aspca today is monday may 18th and the last last dance has aired and everything makes sense now pft we obviously are going to go through episodes nine and ten but at the absolute last last part of the last dance it talks about about how, you know, MJ retires. Pippen gets traded.
Everyone going away. You know, Phil Jackson leaves.
And then it goes with, and the Bulls started their rebuild. And it dawned on me, watching that last 10 minutes, I think the reason why the Bulls have been doomed ever since is because the Bulls are actually on Michael Jordan's list now too if you watch that last moment when he has the iPad like finding out why Reinsdorf said we should they should break up the team I think he is now I think the Bulls are the top it goes Bulls and then Isaiah Thomas on MJ's shit list and anyone who ends up on MJ's shit list as we learned through this 10-part documentary Well, yeah.
I mean, look at the teams that he's associated himself with. They're all in the Eastern Conference after he left the Bulls.
You got the Wizards and then you got Charlotte. And so, yeah, I don't think that MJ considers himself Bull for life.
I think that he considers that team that he played on the epitome of the Bulls. Buts but yeah he obviously does not have any love for that organization whatsoever um but damn that was it was awesome and i don't know if i'm saying that the documentary was awesome because there's absolutely nothing going on in sports and it was it was like moderately captivating but the last like you know four weeks five weeks however long it's been has been as close as I've gotten to feeling like I'm watching a sport since they went away in March.
It was a great ending. I thought actually the Steve Kerr section was one of the best parts of the entire documentary.
I think a lot of people, just judging by the timeline timeline didn't even know the story about his dad being assassinated.

But then, you know, the connection of MJ losing his dad, Steve Kerr losing his dad, them not talking about it. But then getting to that game winning shot in game six of the 97 finals like that was so, so well done.
The, the watching like the biggest story of that last season and mj talking about like his ability to control a game with his mind and his and like guile it's incredible because it really is like he he wasn't the same guy he wasn't you know jumping over people he wasn't the guy before baseball that was just you know athletic freak and superior in everything when it comes to a basketball court he had to use some of like the smarts and the angles and you know if you remember watching him like the pump fakes in the post game and just using every single bag in his tricks to get that team to a sixth championship it was awesome to watch great documentary some great moments uh and you're right i'm gonna miss it on sunday nights reggie miller finally making appearance was was something i think we've all been waiting for i thought i thought that the biggest card that mj could have played in this documentary is just never including anything about those pacers teams and for a little bit i thought that they just weren't going to talk about him at all. And they did gloss about those Pacers teams.
And for a little bit,

I thought that they just weren't going to talk about him at all. And they did gloss over those Pacers teams a little bit.
But the second that I knew that there was a difference between Reggie Miller and Michael Jordan was in this documentary when Reggie Miller said, when you get to game seven, you just throw away your game plan entirely because it's all about who wants it more in into game seven it's like that's exactly what somebody who loses a game seven says like yeah the whole like they wanted it more and we you don't have a game plan michael jordan wanted you to think that they didn't have a game plan michael jordan absolutely had a game plan in that game seven and reggie glossed over that the push-off that he had which i mean that's fair that was fair. That was a little Kyle Rudolph moment where he just gave him the shove.
The dance after, too. The all-time Reggie Miller is just a little twerp.
But, yeah, he – I mean, MJ said they were going to win that Game 7 beforehand. He guaranteed it.
And there was actually an awesome story that Zach Lowe did, like, a little story behind that series and and he had an anecdote from phil jackson saying uh phil jackson said to the players before game seven he said the important thing is is to not fear losing and to embrace the idea you could lose face that but before he could get started mj just said fuck that phil we're not losing in the middle, said one, two, three bowls and went home. That was the pregame speech of like Phil Jackson being like, hey, guys, you have to have the fear of losing in your heart.
And MJ's like, no, dude, we're not going to fucking lose. In an homage to the documentary itself, I'm going to jump around for one second and go fast forward to the 98 series and then we can go back and talk about other stuff.
But the alleged-off that he had on that shot when there was 6.6 seconds left when the ball's in the air in game six I think I think this documentary changed my mind I I no longer think that it was a foul that he no it was well it definitely wasn't a foul in it definitely wasn't a foul 90s NBA because because Reggie Miller's push-off and I saw people were getting mad at me because I was pre-complaining about the Reggie Miller push-off. He was a full-on shove.
Like, MJ had some contact, but if you see the reverse angle, so the reverse angle can show that he really didn't push him. He guided him, and in that NBA, in the 90s NBA, that's never called a foul i think that jordan's been sitting on that reverse angle footage for just the right time like when lebron makes his move out to the west coast gets in los angeles looks like he's putting together a good team he's like okay i'm gonna drop this documentary just so i can drop this this one angle that no one's ever really seen that makes it look like i did not push off by and wrestle now I'm I totally believe it he did not push him off but with Reggie Miller you also have to take into account that Reggie Miller in that moment when he pushed off he looked like he could probably bench press like Kevin Durant amounts true right so if he pushed off that's like a fly landing on an elephant's ass I'm taking the my anger at the push offoff more.
It's more my anger at the dance when he just started twirling around. And, like, that one, I just – Reggie Miller's a twerp.
And so the Brian Russell push-off, alleged push-off, which wasn't a push-off, that last 40 seconds is so incredible when you look at it. Like, the fact that no bull touched the ball after MJ gets the ball in inbounded from Scottie goes right to the hoop within like five seconds scores, then strips Carl Malone, then brings the ball up, then shoots the game winning shot.
No one else touched the ball. That was it.
It was like, this is it. This is my moment.
This is the absolute pinnacle of everything robin even said it like he's fucking shooting i'm gonna get out of the basket there's no chance he's not shooting he started walking yeah and and and pippen was like they actually did a really good job in the documentary like pippen was not it's actually there's a there were two moments that that you know there's always these debates about today's nba versus the nba 20 years ago two moments that, you know, there's always these debates about today's NBA versus the NBA 20 years ago. Two moments that strike you and you're like, okay, this is like so, so different.
One was when they were all doing the half court shot. Not the half court shot, the shot from like the timeout spot on the bench before one of the finals games.
And they were all airballing it. It was all short misses, yeah.
These are layups for Steph Curry, and MJ finally hits it, but the entire team misses it before, and that was the first one. And the second one is Scottie Pippen being like an absolute shell of himself in that game and the Jazz not figuring out a way to just like punish him.
Like that would be – they they would just switch on, they would basically run everything at him all game long and make it so that he can't be on the court. You can't just be a decoy on the court.
Because the NBA back then was just slower, and it was like a rock fight, and the ball was being walked up, and it just wasn't the same game. So those were the two moments where I was like, yep, okay, totally different game.
He he was a decoy if you want to talk about like getting a suspect big sausage pizza delivered to your place the night before Pippen was playing like he got his back blown out in that game and was just like hobbling up and down the court like he had his hand on his lower back and like the entire time every every shot that you saw was Scotty like grimacing I think it's a big indictment of jerry sloan's ability to know when your opponent is physically in pain like he didn't know that jordan had the flu or food poisoning and i feel like he did i feel like he was no that that scotty pippen was on death's door in that game like come on jerry and this is a scene actually like if if social media was around then you better believe that jerry sloan would have known it, would have known that there was stuff going on, probably changed his game plan up a little bit. But, yeah, he did not really have his finger on the pulse of the health of the other team.
And so the other things we had in this documentary, they had, let's see, I had some notes down. Oh, the shit list was obviously Karl Malone MVPp 97 which we knew uh and they put in they put the huge fucking like uh like tarp poster board outside of the delta center whatever it was called and uh mjc's ads like what the fuck dude like you get twice in in mj's you know career they gave the mvp to someone else just because there was voter fatigue and both times he was like okay cool you just made my shit list i'm gonna be that much more motivated it was also hilarious after every defeat in those finals they made a point of showing like carl malone and john stockton had like little waiting areas that they would sit in to receive Michael Jordan.

Like it was like, okay, you're going to sit in this chair until Jordan comes by and shakes your hand and says, good game.

Like if I were them, fuck no, I'm not waiting around for Michael Jordan

to shake my hand after he just beat me.

Like why do I need to do that?

And then Stockton's short shorts were amazing and they're coming back.

I think that's a take I squatted on starting back in 2016 is at some point short shorts are going to make their way back i think they are but one thing people don't talk enough about when it comes to john stockton is his chest hair his weirdly high chest it's even it's like neck hair it's at the nape of his neck and it looks like he's just got like some caterpillars crawling out of the top of his jersey i don't know anybody else that grows hair right there maybe we do not talk about enough with john we don't i'd like i'd like to get it more y'all ain't ready for that conversation um you know what's crazy that that game six of the 98 finals with the you know the shot and mj finishing his career with the Bulls, that was, that will forever be the most watched NBA game

of all time. 35.89 million people were watching that game concurrently.
I think it was something like 90 million overall throughout the whole game. The closest it's ever been since then.
Is. 31 million.
For the game 7. Golden State Cleveland.
That's a 4 million off. And that's a game 7.
Of LeBron. Versus a historic team in Golden State.
And think about the way TV has gone. It's going to keep getting more and more fractured.
That will be the most watched NBA game all time it's crazy to think about that but that's how popular it was that's like the peak of everything it was funny because I was looking through all the TV ratings and then I see like the Spurs versus the Cavs when the Spurs swept the Cavs and LeBron shouldn't like somehow got the Cavs team to the finals like 7 million people were watching that finals compared to 35 million watching this game 7. It's just crazy to think about how popular MJ was and how captivated the entire country was that he can go away.
Like 20 years later, we can say that is still the most watched basketball game ever. Even crazier is it really shows how popular Leo DiCaprio was because despite all of that, when he came in the locker room, MJ was like, yo, thanks for coming, man.
Like, appreciate it. Yeah, yeah.
The man in the mask. I watched the man in the mask before the game.
Yeah. Leo showing up at that point.
What was – Leonardo DiCaprio must be the most bored person in the world when he goes to utah what the fuck is he gonna do out there like he yeah that's that's a major fly in and then i'm going to vegas to spend the night type move for him um that was that was a pretty funny scene it was just like so random like what the hell is leo doing in a ucla hat too and then afterwards to be a fan of either team after they win win, they go to the hotel and Jordan just gets on the piano and doesn't know how to play. That's how you know that no one can say shit to you when you sit down at an instrument that you can't play and just bang on it for about 30 minutes and everyone's leaning over listening to you play like you're Duke Ellington.
Yeah, holding court. And I also loved the part in the documentary about MJ and the security guards and Gus, who he was like treated, was like a second father to him.
It really does speak to how insanely famous he is. And what happens to a lot of famous people is they just basically can only be friends with their immediate family and the security guards hired to protect them.
And like he, but you could tell it was a real friendship and it was a real relationship. And those scenes of just MJ sitting in that back room with all his security guards and Ahmad Rashad, who by the way, was working as a journalist for NBC at the time, doing all the broadcasts.
And like, it's just a great scene. It was cool to kind of see those moments where he was just hanging out in his extra, extra, extra large suits that were always so swaggy.
Dude, MJ's suit that he put on, I think it was after they beat the Pacers and he went for Larry Bird and he said, like, fuck you or whatever. Fuck you, bitch.
Larry Bird said, fuck you, bitch, because he beat him. The suit he was wearing the giant like yellow tan suit that was from the mask that was the that was the suit that Jim Carrey wore in the entire movie when he was like doing swing dancing and all that bullshit uh Jordan probably has the highest ratio of shitty fits to just career greatness of anybody in the modern era well it's crazy too because he he's made some of the most iconic shoes and been part of the most iconic brand you know with those shoes and then you know he had a deal with oakley where he got oakley's where he got to design his sunglasses he was wearing those at the last parade just the worst sunglasses you've ever seen like the suits are insane so he has this like specific ability to be incredible with shoes and then everything else is just way off when it comes to fashion and an eye for design right i mean that's what it's like if you're famous enough at one thing they'll let you try whatever you want in other realms and people will tell you that you look good in it but that suit yeah it looked like the the tarp that they bring out to euthanize horses at the kentucky derby that thing was actually now that i'm thinking about i kind of want to get it it was like a six-piece button-down double-breasted deal and then i passed his dick yeah if if we're going to talk about fits we got to talk about steve kirk's cargo shorts because which weren't cargo shorts we screwed that up you both you and i both tweeted that they weren't technically cargo shorts so everyone relax we get anything anything can be cargo shorts if you can fit enough merchandise in them and the pockets on those things it was like a golf kilt it was it was so it looked like a skirt that he was wearing and then he gets up on stage and he starts like roasting everybody and doing like a stand-up routine that was that was one of the all-time great celebration speeches Steve Kerr's the man like there's no one who doesn't like Steve Kerr he is the man and the fact that he's been part of all these iconic moments and all these iconic teams in NBA history it's crazy he's he's just the man he's such a likable dude he's also one of those guys that when you when you hear him talk and you see an interview it's just always feels like you're learning something that's also the biggest one of one of the biggest takeaways from this entire documentary obviously you know people who who either don't remember or didn't know you know how great mj was throughout the years like that's that's a big takeaway for them but he was so good uh storytelling and commanding just the camera on the one-on-one interviews it's incredible he and scotty pippen too scotty pippen has one of the best voices ever but like mj's ability his reactions his uh you know just his storytelling i thought was phenomenal and it just enhanced the whole thing I was hoping that we would get some sort of explanation of how often he shaved his head what his method was because I never saw a single sprout of hair coming out of MJ's dome he must have done like a straight razor like he had Kobe had a guy Kobe had a guy but we had a guy.
I think he shaved his head twice a day.

Because if... are like he had Kobe had a guy Kobe had a guy but we had a guy I think but that's a good point I think he shaved his head twice a day because if you shave when you wake up at 8 a.m.
and then you play at 8 p.m. you're going to have a five o'clock shadow you're going to have some sort of wreath going on on your head by that point so he had only hair hair hair doesn't on your head doesn't grow that fast.
On your face it grows that fast. But your head's part of your face.
Right, but the hair on your head doesn't grow as fast as the hair on your face, I don't think. I don't know.
I think he probably shaved twice a day. He might have.
He might have. The other person who went viral was the Indiana Pacers woman screaming, who in the twists of all twists is the mom of Luke.
No, no, no. That's not true.
She was just she was she was trolling. Snopes.
What does Snopes say about this? What the hell? That would have been crazy if she was Luke Cornett's mom. So she was trolling everyone on the Internet.
Yeah, she replied later on. I was not actually me we just look like she's like a newscaster oh she like went viral yeah well if she didn't go viral then the the name karen went viral when she came out because everyone was was saying like this person is sending three different entrees back and asking for the manager okay so she is luke cornett's mom

she pretended that that was her it wasn't her which actually is kind of funny because that's actually a really funny thing to play on the on like a trick on the internet for the internet to see uh a white woman screaming and then another white blonde woman be like that was me everyone's like yeah it was fuck you she's practicing self-caring oh unreal um that was a great moment though any other things well yeah let's talk about let's talk about dennis rodman skipping practice after a finals game to go join nwo and skipping practice to hang out with hulk hogan and hit people with chairs, that's the very definition of some things are bigger than sports.

Let that shit slide.

Not a jury in the world would convict you for doing something like that.

No.

Listen, the old saying, flags fly forever, banners fly forever, that's fine.

NWO is for life.

It's for life.

So when you're in NWO, it's for life.

So I do not

begrudge him at all for doing

that.

Not an interesting guy, though. It is crazy

how the guys that allegedly

He wouldn't fucking smack

Diamond Dallas Page with a chair

in between game

three and four of the finals.

It was amazing.

What a fucking lunatic. You would think that if he was flying out of the Chicago airport and he's getting on a plane, there were probably like at least 15 or 20 people in that airport that were like, Dennis, where are you going? You can't leave just random people, random fans that happened to be in that airport.
Like this, why are you leaving town? You can't leave town. He's like, no, I'm going down to Florida.
Cause to Florida because I got to administer some justice with the new world order no well it was in Michigan so okay far so it gets a pass there it's it gave off big Florida vibes you'll forgive me for assuming it was Tampa yeah yeah what you're gonna say Hank it's crazy that if the food poisoning thing is true and I obviously believe it is because some of the people they they shaped it that way. And the trainer that was there said it.
It's crazy that none of those guys have come forward or confirmed anything. You would think at some point someone would say something.
I have a theory about that. I just started mulling around my head when I was watching.
But Bill Walton was a commentator in that series. Which is crazy that Bill Walton and Marv Albert were on the same team together but no wait no no no on radio it was bob costas it was bob costas isaiah thomas and doug collins i absolutely i absolutely heard bill walton in some of those clips he he might have been doing radio but bob cost it was bob costas on tv okay so but bill wal was there, and my theory is that the pizza was meant for Bill

and it had psilocybin mushrooms on it and that Jordan was just tripping balls during that game. Not the flu.
Oh, he was tripping balls, not actually puking everywhere? Tripping balls, baby. Some people can handle their psychedelics.
Some people can't. I kind of wish they had given us one of the uh the classic bob costas like intros that he would do for nbc that always got you so jacked up he would do his little soliloquy and then it would and then it would do the round ball rock there was nothing nothing better yeah but uh he also bob costas did the thing where um it was okay so billen was a studio analyst.
I'm looking up right now. So, yeah, the call was Doug Collins, Isaiah Thomas, Bob Costas, Bob Costas.
MJ was so widely popular. He just called him Michael during the game.
Like he would say Michael for two. Who does that? That's not I mean, you could do it with LeBron because that's LeBron and that's a different, unique name.
But he would – for the name Michael to be just the first – like, Kobe gets it because it's Kobe. Again, it's if you have a unique name, it's a little different.
But for a name like Michael and just to keep saying, like, Michael for two, Michael for three, Michael with the rebound it's hilarious to listen back to yeah it was very funny Bob Costas and just in general I love he needs to be a part of every documentary I don't care what it's about he just has a personality and just a way of speaking that makes it it feels like he's always on camera and Ken Burns is always asking questions. All right.

So any other thoughts?

I mean,

the ending obviously broke my heart because it's like,

they definitely would have won a seventh in my mind.

That was the lockout year.

So they would have had a lot of,

they would have had a lot of rest.

They wouldn't have had to start for a long time.

Like it would have been a different,

you know,

it just wasn't,

I think they played like 50 games.

So it's just,

wasn't the same toll that it took and to hear MJ say like yeah we you don't think all these guys would have come back for one now there were like Dennis Rodman was kind of shot at that point like he was kind of on the tail end or past the tail end Pippen went and got paid a couple times which he needed to get paid but like if they had brought it back for another year i it would be tough to think that anyone would have beaten them it's also easy to say right now like i guarantee you everybody would have come back like who knows what would have happened no pippen would have been the hard one he probably would have been the one that's that's pretty much he would have had to mj would have taken a lot less and pippen would have had to get paid. Yeah.
But yeah, I'm, I'm sad that we're not going to have that to talk about on Sundays anymore. Cause it was a very good series, even though it did jump around a whole lot, made me feel like I was a time traveler.
That's the one qualm that I had about it. Also is Michael Jordan married.
They didn't talk. Yes.
I don't think he's married right now. Well, so I think the reason why they didn't talk about it was his wife who it was his wife throughout the 90s and had you know the the mother of of the three grown children they got divorced in the early 2000s which is uh i'm pretty sure madrashad got divorced like right around the same time which just shows how good friends they are um they're just like let's get single together and then he has a new wife who he has I think twins with uh so who's a lot younger so I think that I don't know it's kind of tough like they I agree they probably should have I would have liked to hear more from the kids the grown adult kids and you know his wife at the time but yeah well they're probably on his shit list too like his son that he named after himself is probably like on michael jordan's shit list for trying to upstage his dad by being named the same thing as him like i wouldn't be surprised if michael jordan you know how every dad at some point gets beaten by their kid and horse and that changes the dynamic i doubt that michael jordan will ever get beaten by his own children anything no definitely not and if he does they're out of the will but it is very funny to think about like ahmaud rashad talking to michael jordan and mj's like hey i'm getting divorced if you want to go splitsville yeah let's just do it together yeah and ahmaud's like yeah this is going to be sick this is going to be the best time of my life and then they go hang out for a while and it's just MJ slang and Ahmad Rashad goes home to his hotel room every night alone by the way just one point that MJ did not name either of his sons Michael Jordan just so we're clear because I do make fun of LeBron for naming his son LeBron James Jr.
and then being like I don't want anyone to know that he's my son he named it is Jeffrey he did the reverse of one of his sons of one of his sons so he's michael jeffrey jordan he named his son jeffrey michael jordan got it got it kind of kind of a cool little twist totally i bet you one of them is like i bet you uh he's like why couldn't you just name me michael jordan like it'd be so much better if i was just michael jordan jr yeah you could you could at least market yourself a little bit. You definitely have a television career doing sideline reporting.
I think they're doing okay. I think they're all doing okay.
Yeah, I think the family's pretty well off right now. Michael Jordan, I could also just watch a documentary where it's Michael looking at iPads of people that he's known throughout his life saying various things about him, making various statements and just his reaction.
Yeah, drinking out of his tequila. Maybe it's just the next last dance.
Is Michael Jordan drinking out of his tequila glass and then showing him funny nut shot videos on the iPad and having him laugh, cackle? I'd watch that forever. Yes, that's what Jimmy Kimmel should do instead of doing his Karl malone impression is just show it do the mean tweets segment but it's for michael jordan and give me 12 hours of michael jordan reading mean tweets about himself um all right so great yeah great documentary i can't believe it went by so fast i've been doing this thing in my head that if we were if the coronavirus were the football season we would be like if the coronavirus for the college football season we would be like almost at the end what do you mean like we're week 10 now week 11 okay got it got it yeah so we'd have like three games three regular season games left right i don't know why i'm doing that Thanksgiving week right now yes yes I keep

doing that in my head where I'm like man if the corona think about if the coronavirus were the NFL season we would already be past halfway yeah well if it's college football now we're about to get a month off before the Bulls pick up true I mean when I when I found out that it was supposed to be like the the Western Conference Eastern Conference Finals today like that blew my mind yeah yeah um all right well let's do who's back uh and then we'll get to our interview with carl malone actually i'll just start because my who's back is sports and i'm feeling positive okay i'm feeling i'm starting to feel positive we had nascar come back we had a little golf thing which i didn't even understand what was going on and we had the bundeslaga so big bundesliga bonus lag i don't fucking know but i watched every second of it i bet every single over this is how it happens is that better or worse than premier league um it is it's pretty good i think it's well the top the top of it is is like byron munich is better than probably any team in the Premier League.

It's pretty much the same.

Most of them.

Here's everything I know about Bundesliga right now.

One, they used to have a bunch of American teenagers that go over there to get famous

and then no longer play for, will never play for MLS clubs for the rest of their life.

I know that.

Claudia Reino's son plays, Claudia Reino's son, excuse me, plays on one of the teams.

They had Pusilicic played on one of their teams for a while, right? Oliver Kahn, he used to be a goalkeeper in the Bundesliga. I know that.
I know that the Wolves have a jersey that's an Xbox symbol, so that's kind of cool. That's it.
I'm just going to keep betting the over in every single game. It's it's nice we've said it but it's nice to have a ball moving back and forth on your screen that's really all it is i turned it on on saturday morning and it felt good to see and then of course i complained about no goals and people were like bro you can't complain sports are back i'm like listen let's get one thing clear right now when sports come back i'm going to revert right back to my sports fandom instantly i will complain about everything instantly that's what sports fans do that's when you know it's back when we can complain so don't tell don't give me this like hey man just appreciate that it's back no no no no i'm gonna complain that's what sports fans do that's what we missed about sports was complaining about sports more than anything.
And you're right. Like for you, it's the ball moving back and forth.
For me, it's just that color green on my screen. I don't care if it's a fairway that Dustin Johnson is walking his carrying his own bag down.
That's probably filled with like an eight ball as well as like all his golf clubs. I don't care if it's the NASCAR infield.
I don't care if it's the Bundesliga.

I just want that color green on my screen.

They did the thing where they don't have fans in the stands either.

So they caught,

there was like a live mic that picked up one of the players telling the

other guy like,

Hey,

go fuck your mother.

And you know that,

you know,

Roger is watching that.

He's like,

I can't,

I definitely need to pump in some crowd noise.

If Mason Rudolph is going to be on this field with absolutely, you know, nothing but silence around him. I need to make sure that that tape never gets out.
Absolutely. I also just think Germans shouldn't be allowed to congregate in large groups in general.
So I'm fine with that. Hank, do you have your who's back? Yes, I do.
It's shorts. Yeah, I think you stole mine.
Damn. Wow.
Damn. Shorts, big time back.
Huge back for shorts. I'll take it away, PFD.
I mean, I'm so excited. I packed up all my shit this weekend.
I put all my sweatpants on the highest shelf where I can't reach them. So it's about like five feet off the ground.
They are done. I'm done with pants for the summertime.

I think from this point on, from now until Labor Day, I'm going shorts only.

On the record?

On the record?

You're a shorts guy?

Skies out, thighs out.

We're going shorts all day every day.

Come on, man.

Come on.

Mix in some pants every now and then.

Like if it's 50 degrees?

Shorts.

Don't be that guy. Shorts guys are weird.
What do you mean shorts guys? Andy Reid? What I just said, yes. Shorts guys are weird.
What, did I stutter? I'm fine. I'm fine with being weird when it comes to shorts.
I've missed it so much. People who demand to wear shorts no matter the weather are weird.
I don't demand to wear shorts. Everyone knows the fat shorts guy who wears shorts the middle of winter yes andy reed is that category that's a weird move i don't demand to wear shorts but i will absolutely celebrate the return of shorts like nobody else hell yeah you will wear shorts in spite of weather here's here's how my seasons go it's either short season or it's soup season i thought about ordering soup yesterday and i was like it's a little too hot out i'm wearing shorts there's no overlap there you can't you can't eat soup while wearing shorts you just can't it doesn't go together you can eat a popsicle i had ice cream today what about a clam what about a little clam chowder in the summertime it's too heavy heavy it sits too heavy in shorts and if you spill it on your shorts then it looks like there's some explaining to do gazpacho gazpacho yeah a little chilled soup yeah okay now you're talking me into it about you guys oh queso is not soup Queso's not soup.
It gets served in a bowl.

It's liquid.

You use, like, chips, which are basically spoons.

They're edible spoons.

Yeah, it's bread.

It's like the bread that comes with soup.

I think queso's the soup.

Well, okay, maybe I'm a hypocrite when it comes to soup and shorts,

but the bottom line is shorts are back big time for the summer,

and I'm so, so excited about it.

Same.

All right.

Hey, we got any other who's backs? People people asking does the NFL have an arrest problem is back does the NFL have a player discipline problem because I think four people got arrested on Saturday and Oliver got pulled over for DUI and had a gun the cornerbacks down in Florida their whole gun situation I don't know if you read police report about that, but they were talking about what was stolen from the people at that party, allegedly. And one was like a $30,000 watch.
The other was like a $24,000 watch. And then the third person was a knockoff $600 Richard Milley watch.
Is that how you pronounce it, Hank? Richard Milley? Yeah. And so I give a lot of credit to that guy for being honest in his police report and saying yeah mine was a fake it was a total fraud they just recreated the scene from Sopranos like you know what we're gonna do we just gotta hit we just gotta hit up uh the party we gotta hit up the card game and we'll be rich yeah they got too much time players have too much time on their hands right now Ray was right.
When there's no NFL, there's a problem in society called crime that will increase. Mm-hmm.
It's a fact. Facts only.
All right. Anything else? Horny Kevin Durant is back.
What did he do now? He's just smashing likes on pictures of women. I think he should be able to do whatever he wants.
Yeah. I'm celebrating it.
For me, that's the same as shorts. It's like the weather.
Spring turns into summer. Kevin Durant starts liking all these Instagram thoughts.
It's fine. This is a moment in time in the history of the world where we need to be, as a country, as a world, less judgmental.
I saw this uh yesterday about these facebook moms who are basically treating baby yoda dolls as their own children and dressing them up and talking to them good and everyone was like this is terrifying i was like dude you can't lock someone in home in their home for two months and then be like wow look how weird they are they're talking to their yoda doll that's what they're gonna do yeah it's cute as hell tom hanks turned a fucking volleyball into a fleshlight for five years when

he was on an island like let these facebook moms just celebrate their cute little baby yodas

exactly everyone gets a pay if you want to do something weird if you if you're talking to your

cat too much if you're dressing up you know if you're playing little toy horses every night

whatever you do it's cool just let it slide agreed we're gonna get right back to the

Thank you. much, if you're dressing up, you know, if you're playing little toy horses every night, whatever you do, it's cool.
Just let it slide. Agreed.
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USA! All right, back to part of my take. Okay, here he is, Carl Malone.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is two-time MVP, 14-time All-Star, 11-time All-NBA First Team, an NBA legend.
It is Carl Malone. We just were talking.
You sent us – your son KJ sent us a package of El Leon Jimenez. So we appreciate that.
Get everything off on the right foot. How are you doing? You're in your – what's going on? What's the scene that's going on right now for people who are just listening to this? Well, I've been out working.
You know, me and KJ have been working today, you know, running heavy equipment. And I just thought maybe he told me that I can just be myself.
So that's how I was feeling today. I got a Frenchie right here named Willow.
I got a dobleman slash white roller right here named Athena that's biting my hand. You can see her biting my hand here.
And we've got animals in the background I love it That's your quarantine bunker right there It's my quarantine bunker right now Now the real bunker is in the back Back there with the fire on But that's for another discussion here I know you guys' show is kind of PG We actually have a fuckload of people That have been on our show that have Apocalypse Bunkers. Yeah.
It's kind of a theme. All right.
Adam Morrison has an Apocalypse Bunker, good friend of ours. Okay.
Okay. All right.
Yes, sir. How y'all doing? So we want to talk about a bunch of stuff.
First, let's go with, have you watched any of The Last Dance at all? No. You're going to lose me real quick.
Okay, that's what I thought. I thought because I was wondering if they even asked you to be on it.
Did they ask you? No, they didn't. Okay.
All right. All right.
Yeah, so you don't want to be in another man's documentary. Well, I guess I just throw the gun down here.
I think I would have been in it if they would have had, like, Dick Bavetta, somebody in there with me. I would have did it with him.
Ah, I like that. Not getting the call.
Him and, like, Danny Crawford or George Crawford, one of them damn Crawford. I don't know which one it was.
Anyway, they would have had them on now, would have. But no.
We're not. Okay.
Okay. okay it's just obviously everyone's gonna be reliving the 90s here uh in the next couple weeks because there's no sports so it's a it's a weird thing that's going on where everyone's going back in time and uh we haven't gotten to the episodes where you would be in there but i understand it maybe we do another one with dick pavetta and i like that idea yeah yeah you know Yeah.
You know, if Dick Bavetta was in him and I think Danny Crawford,

George Crawford,

I would have did it with them sitting right beside him.

But being they weren't in it,

I didn't think they wanted me in it.

That's all right.

Gotcha.

Well,

let me ask you a question about,

about refereeing then.

Did Jordan push off on that last shot?

No,

I done said all of that already.

Let's talk about something else.

What are you going to talk about?

Okay. Do you believe in the woman or the Keystone pipeline? What do y'all think about that Okay Keystone Pipeline I have no opinion on the Keystone Pipeline I'm gratuitously uninformed on the Keystone Pipeline Alright here's a question That I've always wondered You had one of the longest routines At the free throw line How much of your life do you think you've spent at the free throw line?

Probably half my life.

What?

Can you walk us through the routine that you had down?

I can't, but I'll tell you like this.

I once had an official tell me one time, Carl, man,

if we called every foul out here, we wouldn't have nobody playing.

And you know what I told him? Do your damn job. You know, call a damn file.
Yeah. You also have probably my favorite nickname in the history of sports, the mailman.
That's pretty sweet. Did you give that to yourself or did somebody give it to you? No, come on, man.
You can't go around giving yourself a nickname. That's corny.
That's some corny shit. You can't do that.
Somebody else got to do it. You remember who it was? Yes, Teddy Allen.
He was a sports information director at Louisiana Tech University. And he gave me that name.
We was the only conference, which was a Southland conference. We was the only one that hadn't played yet because we had these ice storms come through the South.
So we couldn't play. So it was delayed for almost two weeks.
And I finally played and had a decent game. We won to go to the NCAA playoff.
And it stuck. He said, hey, everybody should have been like the mailman.
he delivered and it's stuck uh when we go to memphis we go to memphis uh played in the first round uh one of uh the main boosters at tech showed up oh no student at tech uh he showed up in a mailman outfit with the bag on i signed it the rest The rest is history. I like that.

So I know you.

I got a question for you now.

What are you?

What's the shades on inside for?

It make me think, you know, what it make me think.

I can't say what it make me think. You think I'm blind?

Yeah, he's blind.

That's fucked up, Carl.

I'm wearing it in honor of my dog.

My dog's blind.

So I wear these

I walk for those who can't

Why are you lying to me?

I have a dog blind

I have a blind dog

Okay

I thought maybe this time of day

Or evening

Inside a studio

With shades on

And they like the Magnum PI shades too

By the way

Normally last time I

Thank you. inside a studio with shades on and they like the magnum pi shades too by the way uh normally last time i did something like this with somebody with some shades on uh it wasn't nothing about puff puff gear that's right yeah that was last week last week's show i definitely need the shades for that reason okay all right all right yes okay yes cheers to that.
Cheers to that. So PFT just brought up the mailman nickname.
Do you think it's a little bullshit that the mail actually does deliver on Sundays now and the famous Scottie Pippen thing should be gone? Because it does. The mail delivers on Sundays.
Well, first of all, and we're going to cover a wide range of different things because I got my opinion, and it's just my opinion. I'm not trying to include nobody.
But let's go back to something else you said. And one would say right now, you think I'm going to talk about Scottie Pippen.
We're going to delve deeper into this, and I'm going to say to you, why in the hell do the U.S. Postal Service deliver on Sunday anyway? Last time I checked, they broke his hair.
So if anybody out there wants to know, I'm sending this to the U.S. Postal Service.
Please, our dear government, let the workers spend time with their family on Sunday. Look, I don't want you showing up at my house with a damn letter on a Sunday anyway.
So I don't care nothing about that. Right? So the U.S.
Postal Service should not be delivered on Sunday anyway. I love that take.
Yeah, that's a good answer to that question. From the mailman, from the Postmaster General.
I asked the question because you asked the question

so of course it is.

You might need to relax a little bit. You guys too

uptight for me. Okay, so alright.

I'll take a sip and I'll relax.

So what about the Scotty part of the question?

I don't take your shirt off for anyone.

I feel uncomfortable with my shirt off. I have huge

pepperoni nipples. It's very uncomfortable

for me. Let me see.

Take a look. They're big nipples.
might even have a thing i have a skin disease or something yeah i got four of my shirt back on you know what i'm gonna put my shirt back on i got one wants to see my nipples i got four nipples what are you doing the problem is sitting with my shirt off is so bad if i was standing we could do this all this all day standing. I feel like, Carl, I feel in the dictionary, if you were to look up Country Strong, there would be a picture of Carl Malone.
You know, when you came into the league, weightlifting wasn't as big a deal as it is now. What was your workout regimen when you were growing up in Louisiana? Really didn't work out a lot.
When I was growing up in Louisiana, we just so it wasn't really a workout I got serious about weight training probably my second year at tech but then when I got to the league like when you get to the NBA do not think your shit don't stink and you the best that ever done it because it's somebody around the corner and hand it to you so when I got there, I wanted to do something to kind of separate myself. So you're looking around and weight training wasn't huge then.
You know, it's a myth out there about weight training. Don't lift.
You're going to throw your shot. Well, what I would always do was lift before practice.
So when you go out there and shoot, you get your touch believe it or not when you had me when I had a weight training my shot and everything was easier for me because I was strong and a lot of the guys in the NBA didn't lift and I knew that can you imagine if Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal would have took weight training serious. That'd be terrifying.
With Shaquille, they would have changed the rules. He was already – you know, you're talking about country strong, him.
But Charles Barkley, for what he could do, can you imagine if he would have took weight training serious? I don't ever – I could be wrong. I don't think Charles left the weight in his life.
He probably looked at it. He did the 12-ounce curls.
Yeah. A couple beers, a couple cold ones after the game.
But the thing about it is weight training is so important, but a lot of people didn't do it. And that's something that we was big on.
I started at Tech, I wanted to be a little different. So I started training and like I said, it's no doubt some of the falls I took, the back-to-back games.
And I'll tell you when I really, really noticed my weight training, and I'm going to take you guys back, the year we got locked out. locked out now newsflash a lot of fans don't know the difference between a lockout and a strike the NBA locked us out we did not go on strike some people thought that and we had I think every team had three sets for sure two but I but I think three sets of back-to-back-to-back.
And the weight training really helped me, I think, personally with that right there. It's interesting because you're saying that you took weight training seriously before a lot of other players did in the 90s.
And when you think back to that style of play, the narrative is always it was a more physical game back in the 90s do you agree with that or do you think that with all the physical conditioning that players have to do now with the weight training programs that it's actually a more physical game these days you stop the nonsense here what do you don't compare what's happening now to back then what are you you talking about? Okay, let me explain. Yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead. To be a good talk, I got to be a good listener.
Go ahead. No, no, I want you to explain it.
Yeah, I want to know why it's ridiculous to compare those two things. Hold on.
Number one, analytics right now. That's all they talk about, Analytics.
Sprinkle some analytics in there. But all this, hold on.
You know, my hat not getting hot. I'm just, I almost got a migraine just then.
Thinking about players resting. No load management.
Yeah. What? Before we get too forward into this interview i want to say something else i own whatever i say on this right now so whatever i say i'm not coming back and say oh gosh i was misquoting no so i just wanted to say I'm Carl Malone.
I approve of this message.

I like that.

Okay.

Now, okay, imagine this.

And it happened.

That's why I'm going to tell you this.

So we live here in a little unbelievable, what we call God's country.

If y'all good young men, when y'all pass on over to the other side, you'll be buried here.

It's God's country. Literally, we had a dad here.
He had two sons, and they was a huge, huge, now keep in mind when I say they was, they was a huge Golden State Warrior fan. They was kind of, say, on the side a little bit, but they loved Steph Curry.
Loved him. So he got them front row everything experience.
Two Christmases ago, right? I'm talking about they had the Warriors'

stealth jersey on, the whole outfit.

They were going to go to Dallas.

So they leave on the Thursday, visit the arena, Friday, everything.

The game was on a Saturday, I think.

At game time, when people in the stand,

right before they got ready to sing the national anthem, the PA announcer came on and said, Steph Curry will not be playing for rest. Okay.
Well, I don't know what happened in the game. That's irrelevant.
What I'm telling you, they wore their jerseys and everything back. After the game, they drove back.

From that day forward, they have yet to even speak about the Warriors

or wear anything because they were so disappointed.

Well, case in point, let's make a rule right now.

Let's start this right now on pardon my take.

So I'm going to say pardon my damn take.

I ain't pardon that.

I mean what I say.

So let's go on record right now and say if you're going to rest,

Thank you. So I'm going to say pardon my damn take.
I ain't pardon that. I mean what I said.
So let's go on record right now and say if you're going to rest, if you're going to rest, rest at home in front of your season ticket holder. I like that.
I think at the bare minimum, they should let people know ahead of time if they're going to take a game off for rest. I think that's a fair point.
You were losing me for a second? Then I like that. And you, by the way, we should just mention, Karl Malone is saying this from a guy who in his 19 seasons, the only time he didn't play over 80 games, it was twice.
One was the injury the last year, and the other was the lockout. He played the maximum amount of games.
So if you look at his stats, it is literally 81, 82, 80, 81, 82, over and over and over. So the emphasis have to be or should be back on the fans and less of the athlete because we're going to do what we do.
But we don't have that. Okay, but we're going to wait to the All-Star game and we're going to have the experience.
I think, I think, personally, I think a professional venue, I'm talking about basketball, I think it should be something to do with the fan experience every time they come walking at arena. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
What does it look like? I don't know. but it's got to be an experience.
So go ahead. What type of birds do you have in your room right now? I have an African gray named Lisa.
And if you're not careful, she's going to say something. My son, KJ, just moved her over there because she's about to start talking.
Okay. We can hear.
Yeah, it's funny. Yeah.
So. So you see where you're at right now? You see the animals in the background? Yes.
Yes. Big game hunting.
I'm all about it. I want to get to that.
I want to get to that. I had a question about the famous pick and roll with you and John Stockton.
What makes a perfect pick? Can there be a perfect pick? What would you do? What's the art of setting a good screen, a good pick? Patience, patience, patience, which when I played, I didn't have a whole lot of it. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but if you go back and if, I don't know.
Oh, I can't even tell you the number, so just for shits and giggles.

Let's say we ran the pick and roll a million times, right, in a ball, you know, over my career or whatever, right?

If you see John Stockton, at least 75 to 80% of the time,

he would be dribbling the ball and put his hand up

and telling me to wait.

Yep.

Thank you. at least 75% to 80% of the time, he would be dribbling the ball and put his hand up and telling me to wait.
Yep. Which I didn't have it.
I'm just high octane and I'm ready. But if you go back and watch us, when he did that, we was not calling to play.
He was watching me and he was telling me because if your port guard leave too quick, it's just about always going to be an offensive foul on me. So he was protecting me as well.
So the perfect pick and roll is patience, number one. Number two, as my Coach Sloan would say, get some fucking meat on the guy, would you? Slap dicks.
That's what Coach Sloan used to say. But when the perfect pick and roll is, you can feel it.
Like, first thing you do as the screener, you always protect the goods. All right? So you would see me come up, put my hand there, and you really and truly, it's all about the point guard.
Because if the point guard is doing their job and not thinking about themselves, he will be patient. That's why it was just solid.
I felt it. I just, you know, you know it.
And here's what's crazy about it. Our pick and roll, I guess I'm – our pick and roll, our pick and roll,

we probably had 30, 40 counters,

30 counters off our pick and roll, right, that we ran.

I can recall maybe three times.

I remember we never, I'm sorry, we never got passed three times with our options. Now think about what I just said.
Yeah. You know, everybody knew where they were going to be at, but we never got it because it was always set up for somebody right now.
So it wasn't like, if you look at our pick and roll, we very seldom passed more than four or five times because, number one, you had the best that ever did running the show. I was decent, so I was setting the pick, but all of our teammates knew where they were supposed to be at, and all they had to do was do it.
But it all started with John Stockton. Did you see when Chris Paul, a couple years ago, he said something after a game, he was talking about Stockton's assist record.
And he was saying, I don't know who was tabulating the assists in Utah, but I don't think anybody's going to ever reach that mark. There were some people that say that they would give Stockton an extra assist or two per game, keep his average up.
Did you ever see any of that going on? Keep it moving. We got to throw a couple of those in there every now and then.
All right. What did you see when Chris Paul said that? All right.
I don't know. What? So I don't know what he said.
I like Chris Paul, but I don't give a rat's ass about that right there. We can talk about something else, can't we? The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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Do you remember that practice said to be the greatest basketball game ever played? I would say it was. Sir, I'm going to say this and mean it.

I'll never pay for a ticket to go into an NBA game, ever.

Might not even show my ID, so.

But if I was going to buy a ticket to see what I witnessed it was a part of,

Thank you. to buy a ticket to see what I witnessed and was a part of,

I started to bid at $10,000.

Yeah.

I started at $10,000.

So what I'm saying to you,

if I was

into basketball like that,

I would put the first bid down. Witness what I witnessed, and have an opportunity to see that.
Right. What was so special about that game? Like, that's when we realized this was our tune-up, and we realized not being arrogant or cocky was we got 12 other baddest son of a bitch on the planet playing this game, but we happen to be teammates.
God bless them. So that was our tune-up.
Yeah. Because in our mindset, ain't no one out there going to be as good as what's right here.

And that was kind of our little –

when we say, okay, we know what we're here for.

Okay, we're going to do it.

But see, what they don't realize,

they made a big deal about what Charles did to the kid from Senegal.

But they didn't see the things that they was doing to us. We're going to play like you play.
If you want to keep it clean, we're going to keep it clean. Right? And like Luke Brown would say, if you mess with one, you got to mess with us all.
You know? That's how we work. Yeah.
But to me, to me, once we got there, we were like, okay, this is why we're here. We're here to kick ass, take names, and the asses that we kick, we wrote a name down so we didn't kick that same ass twice.
That was our job. Yeah.
Don't try to use that one day even, but go ahead. There's a story that Magic told about how he was talking trash back and forth to MJ, and then Michael Jordan wins the game.
They go on the bus, and he, you know, a few minutes, awkward silence. He's like, damn, probably shouldn't have done that.
And they all had a laugh. Could you feel like this is kind of the torch passing from 80s NBA to 90s with, you know, Magic Johnson and maybe Larry Bird being like, these young guys are something special? No.
No, I never felt that. Maybe I wasn't aware because how I felt after our – about our second practice in Chicago, getting ready for the Olympics.
It's like everybody from that day, we didn't say anything or nothing. It's like everybody checked their egos at the door they checked them at the door that after

that second practice when i started to feel like okay okay but the passing of the torch no

we just knew that it would be in good hands but no i've never seen the passing of the torch but

like when you're a competitor like magic mj all of us it don't take much to get us going

Thank you. That's another torch.
But like when you're a competitor like Magic, MJ, all of us, it don't take much to get us going. It really don't.
Like if you look at any sport, the greatest athletes or what I call legends or Hall of Famers, if you talk to any one of them, our fuse is just right there, and it never goes out.

It's just simmering.

So it don't take but a little prodding, right?

So with the person that you say they're okay basketball player

or maybe they're on that level, you let them just do like a barking dog, right?

You just let them yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, because if you beat them, okay, you beat a person that wasn't in your league. But when your peers start, when they go there, we're already primed.
We're ready right now. So that's what made it awesome.
Like, we're just right on the surface. You know that old pimple on your ass that you can't get, but it's just right under the surface? That's our fuse, Bird.
We're just right there. And if you talk to any of them, either now or back then, that fuse is always lit.
It just takes... And it happened to be that practice.
It happened to be the Olympics because we was already primed. We was already ready, but not one of us, and I don't care who, and I'm going to be the first to say this.
I don't care if it was Michael Jordan, Scotty, Carl Malone, John Stockton, whoever. I don't think anybody was in awe of that person.
Like, that's that dude. But let me go on record to be the first to tell you, I can't speak for them.
But it wasn't a son of a bitch in the room that I thought, damn, that's that dude. No.
I'm like, damn, I respect that dude. But shit, I'm that dude.
The hell with that? And he's going to say, shit, I'm that dude. It wasn't, I didn't feel at all.
Now, we did get, nobody know this, but we did. We are the only family that have the original and the only dream team, the dream team, and the one in Atlanta, the whole uniform in the sneakers.
So we have those. I wanted that at the Olympics.
We're the only family that have that in the world. I'm displaying our Toyota store in Draper, Utah.
We got a museum that we built up there. I wanted those to put in to keep safe, but I never was in awe of that guy.
But the respect level was over the top. But everybody had the respect level.
So you obviously established yourself as one of the best players in the game by the time you went out to Los Angeles. You're put in an entirely new environment with entirely new teammates for the first time in your career.
You have Gary Payton that's going out there, too. It strikes me that you and him are two of the all-time best shit talkers in the history of the NBA.
What was that first practice like? Did you guys have to talk a little shit to each other to get each other's respect? Well, contrary to what you may think, Weedhopper, I did never start shit talking. But now, I once told a young man, you do know that I'm going to touch the ball every time down, and you're not.
So I'm about to beat your ass all night long, and as I'm going back down the floor, I'm saying to Coach Sloan, Coach, kind gentleman, do you mind running that play again? So I never started talking shit like Gary. Gary just like he woke up to talk shit.
And he did. What you have to do is you have to just put it in the compartment that he need to be put in.
But I didn't really talk a lot of shit. I was too busy trying to beat your ass and score.
So I didn't want to be talking to you. Okay.
I got one of those questions you're probably not going to answer, but I'll throw it out there anyway. I think we're just going to talk about something else.
Yeah, okay. All right, so maybe you will answer it.
When you won first mvp in 97 was there a part of you that was like shit this is gonna make michael jordan

really mad uh no that was a good question though right that was a good question because it did It really was.

I probably felt the same way in my – I felt the same way in my mind that Michael felt every time he plays somebody. I respect that dude, but I'm here to beat his ass.
Yeah. So that's interesting because – and follow along.
It's not one of those questions.

But Charles Barkley – again, you're not watching The Last Dance,

but Charles Barkley had a moment in The Last Dance where MJ outplays him

in a finals game.

The Bulls beat the Suns.

And he said that was the first time in my life where I was like, shit,

there's a guy better at basketball than me.

And you never felt that.

Hey, look here.

Let me tell you something.

Did I go – did I say this right here?

Is that person more talented than me?

Absolutely.

I've said that.

Right?

I can tell you – I'm going to tell you three guys

that have more talent than Carl Malone.

Thank you. said that.
Right? I can tell you I'm going to tell you three guys that have more talent than Carl Malone. Chris Weber, Derek Coleman, Charles Barkley.
More talent. More talent.
But,

they did not work me.

I will never use the word he was better than me. More talent is different.

Right?

I look and say,

I can't do his position and he can't do mine.

Because everything is numbers. I was a four.
You was a two. You was a one, three, right, and five.
I can look at them and say, I might give your position, the big guys, I might give your position a try. I won't mess with that.
But I dare you to come give mine a try. So more talent? Yes.
Worked harder? No. If I die working hard, so be it.
Irregardless of position, top five NBA players of all time. Karl Malone's list, you can't put yourself on there.

Top five NBA players of all time.

Nope.

That's unfair.

That's a lame question.

Well, I ask that because you did it once.

You did do your top five and you didn't put MJ on it once.

No.

I would never get nobody at top five.

Okay, number one.

Okay, Mount Rushmore.

Only four.

Why five?

Okay?

Two times five is 10.

Starting five.

We have the 15 on the roster there.

So why are you just going

to stop at five?

Well, it's starting five.

What about your top four?

No.

Three.

How about none? Best player of all time what unfair question all right walk me through one of my favorite moments in nba history the best reporter the best newscaster of all time jay mariotti uh walter cronkite i have your top five that you gave once. Wilt, John Stockton, LeBron, Oscar, and Pippen.
Okay. And you left MJ off.
Yes. I like it.
Walk me through one of my favorite moments in NBA history. It was 1998, Finals Game 6.
You and Rodman get into a wrestling match on the court. It looked like it was a WWE match.
You guys went halfway down the court knocking each other over. Walk me through what you remember about that sequence.
Just what you said. We was getting ready for the Bash of the Beach.
Yes. The Bash Diego.
We were just getting ready for that. How awesome was it to give Rodman a stunner at the bash of the beach? It would be, first of all, a diamond cutter.
Well, it was kind of a diamond cutter, but kind of a stunner. No, no, no.
You didn't wrestle. No, whoa.
Yeah. You didn't wrestle.
I put them together. I trained.
No, you got to put them together. You didn't do that.
No, you didn't do that. That's not a stunner.
You did. It was a combo of a diamond cutter stunner.
I'm telling you. Oh, come on.
No, sir. I trained for that.
You did. How do you know? How are know how you gonna tell me because i love wrestling and i remember watching it you didn't love it more than me okay let me take you back that might be true i'm gonna be a watch the great kabuki the nature boy which flair okay the dusty rose all time? Okay.
But Eric's. So you're not a wrestling fan.
I'm the wrestling fan. I wrestle.
I live my dreams. Don't try to say you're a wrestling fan.
I ain't. How awesome was being able to get into a ring, though, with Hulk Hogan and Diamond Dallas Page? It was like the most amazing experience ever for me.
I absolutely loved it. Absolutely loved it.
Loved that brotherhood. Like, to this day, if I go to a live event, it's a brotherhood.
That's amazing. And it was like a dream come true.
It's a different experience to be able to draw the fans right into your... Oh, it's amazing.
It was like a highlight of my life. It really was.
Yeah, it was every wrestling fan's dream. And you looked good.
You looked real good. You looked strong.
You picked Hulk Hogan up like he was a sack of potatoes. Mm-hmm.
No. Hey, look.
It's amazing because they taught me everything. Like, when we ate lunch, we ate lunch in the ring, and we rehears what we what we was doing how i was going to go what i do when i'm looking at dallas when he you know we ate in the ring and that's what we did all day long for three straight weeks because the first thing i told him was i want to look real when i'm doing it.
I want to be real when I'm doing it.

To be able to train and get that part of it, it just truly

man, it's just awesome.

It's unbelievable. It sounds like you

love wrestling. Do you still love basketball?

When was the last time you played basketball?

I don't know. Really? It's been that long 10 years, 20 years Damn Is there a part of you that misses just dunking on somebody? No What I miss the most Is the camaraderie in the locker room.
I miss that. I miss that so much.
When I dunk, it's a good feeling to dunk, but I never look to dunk on nobody to embarrass them. So, no, I wasn't into that, you know.
I wasn't a high flyer or nothing like that. You know, everybody told me, what's your purpose? I said, enough to dump.
Okay. Same.
It's all relevant. You're not going to watch any of the last dance, correct? None of it.
No, man. What, you got a fetish with the last dance? Well, I mean, it's in the news.
I was just curious. Like, do you...
The coronavirus in the news, too. He'll talk about that.
True, we can talk about that. Do you think, though, that, like, will there someday, if someone comes up to you and says, we want to do a documentary about the Stockton and Malone jazz, would you be in for that? No.
Really? Really. Why really why why because i'm a blue i'm a i'm a i'm a blue-blooded american and i say i don't want to do it david i don't have to do it okay okay i just think that your your place in nba history should be celebrated somebody else could talk about it so you know don't history should be celebrated.
Somebody else can talk about it.

So, you know, it don't have to be celebrated, you know.

It ain't about me.

It's about somebody else.

I was blessed and fortunate enough.

I thank my grandparents and my parents for my DNA that I could play a long time.

I turned out pretty decent, I think. And enough saying.
I don't – why? The people that need to know about Carl Malone or care know about him, good or bad or indifferent. I don't think there's nobody lining up out there that want to know about Carl Malone, so why bore him with that? Let's watch the Tiger King or some shit like that.
Oh, did you like that? Do you like the Tiger King?

I do.

Do you have any of

the old Carl Malone

mailman posters in your house? That was

such an awesome poster.

Oh, in the

weight room. We got stuff

out there in the weight room. Good.

How much do you bench right now?

I don't know.

It just depends on if he's working at a particular time,

you know what I'm saying?

You just go on there and you see what's on the bench

and then you just lift that up.

Sound like you're too much of a coward to tell us a number.

I don't know.

Just enough.

Oh, okay.

So if I say, hey, Carl, I got 300 pounds on this bar. Can you lift it? Maybe.
Do you? If we were in the same room, I never would ask you that question, by the way. Oh, yeah.
I believe you could do it. What happened one day? You got to look at your room.
Y'all clean that shit up. No, not really not really We got a bench press right here You wouldn't know about that Man You don't You didn't even know what this was You've never seen a bench press in your life Hold up I see some beers over to the left What the heck They're actually Bud Light Seltzers Yeah this is our Berserker bunker.
Is that a guitar right there? What?

Is that a guitar right there?

Yeah, we got a guitar.

We got everything a man can need in this room.

We got Bud Light Seltzers.

Attire.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Is that a painting?

Yeah, we got painting.

Oh, you want to see this?

Wait.

Hey, guys.

We got Coach O right here.

You'll like this.

You're Coach O, man.

Y'all got a whole lot of shit going on right now.

How about this?

That's Coach O. How about this? That's Coach O.

How about that?

Old school Coach O.

Yeah.

Show kick their ass, everybody.

Yeah.

Were you at the national championship game this year?

Yeah, I went to the game.

What was that like?

What was your experience like at that game?

Oh, like out of body.

Like that's off my bucket list. Like over the top.
What's the odds? On this year, this particular, last time they won the national championship was in New Orleans. They had to play their asses off to get back to New Orleans.
45 minutes up the road, my son was on the strength and conditioning coaching there. So I got, you know, he got a ring.
So it was just, I couldn't even explain it. It's just unbelievable.
Like, really, it was just unbelievable. Yeah, do you remember the clip after the game? Odell Beckham tried tried to uh pantomime backing carl down in the post and then you just sent his shot like fucking 10 rows up it'd be like me going out there and trying to get the football from i don't know somebody at the top of their profession it'd be like me, come out there and tell him, get out of the way, little fella, let me run this rock for you.
And he zoomed by past my ass, right? Well, the same. And he wasn't low enough anyway.
Yeah, he wasn't. No, he wasn't.
I'm a 56-year-old old man, gray beard. He wasn't low enough.
And he needed some more rocks in it. No, he needed some steel balls in his pocket because he didn't have enough ass back there.
Right. Yes.
He had given all the money out of his back pocket. He wasn't heavy enough at the time.
We're about to interview Joe Burrow in a second. Look at me.
No, that wasn't no money. He wasn't giving out real money.
Oh, yeah. It was fake money.
It was fake money. It was fake money.
It had his face on it. It was Monopoly.
It was Monopoly money. Yeah.
We're about to interview Joe Burrow. Do you have any questions that you would like us to ask Joe Burrow on your behalf? The Carl Malone question of the day? Yes.
Ask Joe what would he like for us to send that our cigar.

Our cigar. He got a limited – he got a lifetime supplier of our cigar.
That was our cigar he was smoking in the next championship game. So just tell him what he want us to send him to, and we'll send him there.
But I'm going to say this. like the young men

that do those interviews

and everybody oh, God, too good. No, that's that young man.
That's him, and that's his character. That's who he is.
He's a great young man, but he got some awesome parents as well. So, I'll be watching Cincinnati because of him.
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
Well, this has been awesome. Thank you so much, Carl.
We really appreciate it. So what? We out of time? No, we just keep going.
I have a list of MJ questions I don't think you're going to answer. Okay, well, you don't need to be talking to him.
Carl, thank you so much. This has been awesome.
We got to jump to the Joe Burrow interview, but this has been a ton of fun. We'd love to have you back on any time.
Thank you to your son, too, for sending all this rum. It's delicious rum.
We appreciate it. And we'll ask Joe where he wants those cigars to be sent.
Hey, tell Joe I'll be wearing his jersey this year. We will.
Here we go. All right.
Thanks so much, Carl. Thanks, buddy.
All righty. Hang loose.
Appreciate it. Take care.
That interview with Carl Malone was brought to us by our great friends over at Curiosity Stream and their new show, Muck City. As we all know, the final couple episodes of The Last Dance just aired.

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pocket is not affiliated with is not an agent of any state lottery please visit jackpocket.com slash tos for the full terms of service okay let's get some segments and a great mount rushmore coming up uh that's going to get a little nostalgic for everyone but before we do that PFT you have a drunk idea

I do

I think it's actually a very very helpful

Drunk idea to help us bring sports back and get a sense of normalcy going right now and the the solution's been in front of our eyes for a long time i didn't put two and two together until last night i was having a little zoom happy hour with a friend and they were talking about getting vegas up and running and what they're gonna have to do for that and essentially like dip every chip into bleach essentially to clean it off before every time somebody touches it it made me think about just like the most powerful disinfectant thing known to man the water cup in beer pong so we've had the solution in front of us our whole lives. say most or least most so it's scientifically proven that if you fill a red solo cup up two-thirds of the way with room temperature water and then get everybody in the party to dip their fingers in it over the course of the night no one's getting sick if that ball hits the ground you dip it in the water cup you're good to go pro sports should adapt they should have water cup like in basketball it goes to the stands some random touches it boom just dunk the basketball into like a garbage can filled with room temperature hose water boom we like i don't know why we haven't thought of this already but i feel like maybe just everybody needs to carry around their own water cup so you hand your your debit card to the cashier or the waitress you You get it back.
Boom. Dip it in your water cup.
Put it back in your wallet. You're good to go.
Okay. Can I ask a real question? Because obviously that would never work.
But I like the thought process. Wait, why wouldn't it work? I mean, water cup is the grossest thing in the world.
Yeah, everyone gets sick from it. Yeah, really sickly drunk.
Has a sick time. You know those infrared lights that basically can clean your iPhone? You know those things? Have you seen those? The tanning bed things? Yeah, they're like mini tanning beds for your iPhone.
You're supposed to put them in and then you zap your iPhone. Why don't we do that for the whole world? Just build a giant ozone layer out of the UV rays.
Yeah, or like, I don't know. Just something to cook it off.
I don't know. How about this? Yeah.
We keep talking about the hole in the ozone layer. Why don't we just get rid of the entire ozone? If everyone goes outside and we just light styrofoam on fire 24 hours a day and just burn aerosol into the sky i'm pretty sure we'll just nuke the ozone layer within a matter of weeks and then all the extra infrared is going to take care of the virus when i was like ozone when i was like eight years old and um like the the ozone layer depletion started to become like kind of a hot in the streets topic around the world i remember i was like dude just put ozone in an aerosol can and spray it up into the sky i'm pretty sure i solved that and no one's no one's done it like why not let's just get a lab going instead of developing chemicals and stuff we just work on developing more ozone just spray ozone it's like a spray on you basically like okay well there's a huge hole right over china right now because all their factories all right we'll put someone up in a fucking in in a spaceship with a huge aerosol can and they just spray it on like flex seal for the ozone i love that why not yeah i? Yeah.
That was eight-year-old me. Think about how much smarter I've gotten since then.
I mean, if there's a lack of something in the air, just put more of it up there. Exactly.
It will just catch itself up there. The existing ozone will stop the spray on ozone to create a double ozone.
I did used to love that, though. Like at a party in college, you'd'd be over at your friend's house and they own like six dogs that all live in the living room and you miss a shot in beer pong and he goes on the ground and picks up just like clumps and clumps of weird shit and like old pizza crust you just dump it you dunk it in the solo cup for about a half second shake it off maybe rub it on your shirt which is also dirty and you're good to go and not only that but play on the same cups all night that everyone in the party's been playing on so then when you get on the table you're just drinking out of the same cups that everyone else has been drinking out of but you're like oh but let's make sure we practice hygiene with with the balls yeah it's chat immunity it's the most it's the best type of immunity that you can have it actually probably i mean in college you probably have the highest level of immunity It's Chad immunity.
It's the most, it's the best type of immunity that you can have. It actually probably, I mean, in college, you probably have the highest level of immunity.
It's, it's similar to, uh, taking the New York city subways. Like I'm convinced that if you take the subways every day, you are, you are immune to almost every disease in the world.
Mm. Yeah.
And then it all proved to be untrue when coronavirus was like way more in New York than anywhere else. But you get my point.
It absolutely backfucked. For a while, it seemed like we were smart, all living on top of each other and spitting on everyone.
But it turns out it wasn't great. But can you get herpes from a red solo cup that you share? Yeah, why not? So that's why like everyone in the world has it.
If you played one game of beer pong against one person then you've played beer pong against every person they've played against yes and we all have herpes from it uh are you guys not in dana's beer pong tournament yeah we are we're in oh that was those are some some suspect rankings it's uh well it's also i mean we i liked it we're just a parody of ourselves like everyone's like barstool sports Frat Boy Sports. Well, you's also, I mean, I like that we're just a parody of ourselves.
Like, everyone's like, Barstool Sports, Frat Boy Sports. Well, you know how we proved that wrong? We have a beer pong tournament for our entire staff.
Oh, hell yeah. Mandatory.
I'm pumped. Like, I don't even give a fuck.
I know that there's people who will think that and make fun of us. I don't give a fuck.
Because guess what? Beer pong's fun. Sue me.
Yeah, I'm ready to do it. I'm ready to do it, absolutely.
And guess what? I'll be pissed if I lose. Like, I will be very upset if I lose.
I'm going to be calling elbows on people. Yeah, it's going to be interesting, though.
I don't really know how I'm going to play or where I'm going to play, but yeah. Right, I don't know what the regulations are because I don't even have a table for this, but I have to figure it out.
What's your seed, Hank? I'm a six seed, and Dana's a one seed, even though the last beer pong tournament he played in he lost in the first round. I'm a nine seed, and Marty Mush is like an eight seed, and Marty says he's like the best ping pong player ever, beer pong player ever.
No, just ping pong. We know who'd be the one seed.
Hank got absolutely smoked in soup pong, so that probably affected your ranking. That's true.
True. I forgot about that.
That's very true. And gave me that look like, why is the cup not going in like is there beer in that cup bro is there beer in that cup i mean there was there's questions needed to be asked we should actually do that put a put a tickler on this tickler file we should do a mount rushmore of dudes uh beer pong dudes okay there's uh no no no not right now bounce bro we have no we we have nothing to talk about.
Do not ruin it right now. I've been on this table all night.
Okay, stop. All right, let's do our real Mount Rushmore.
Today would have been the start of Grit Week. It's very sad.
We were actually had an unbelievable Grit Week ready for the people we're going to do. SEC West.
We're going to see Coach O again. We're going to see Mike Leach.
We're going to see maybe the Kiffin train. The craziest part is that we hadn't even really planned it.
We just said that was kind of our plan, but we didn't even get close enough to actually have to make those plans concrete. We can say it's true.
No, we wouldn't. We definitely would have done it.
But it's also disappointing that we didn't get to cancel any plans because we never got far enough with our making plans to actually have the plan.

Yeah.

So it sucks.

It sucks, sucks, sucks.

But I thought a good Mount Rushmore for today's show would be for us to do a Mount Rushmore of our favorite Grit Week moments.

A little nostalgia, a little memory lane. This would have been Grit Week been grit week five so we have four grit weeks we can go off of hank you have the first pick why don't you uh kick it and by the way it's it's grit week moments it can be uh podcasts it can be just traveling it can be stories that people might not all know whatever it is favorite grit week moments So my number one, it's an easy one because it's actually – I was doing this last night before I even knew we were doing this, but I had ingested a little hot leaf, and I was like, it's crazy that we did a song with Sunny Digital.
We did a rap song, Drink Prane. I just listened to it and was just laughing at how funny that whole experience was.
It's something that we knew we were going to Atlanta, and we had a day off, talking to this guy from Sony he was like oh you want to do an interview with a boogie with the hoodie we were like sure thinking we're just going to do an interview in the van and then a couple days before he switched it to like do you guys want to do a song with Sonny Digital and it was just so random and it came out so good and it's still like a banger to this day so that's my number one easy number one number one, drink paint. Yep.
That's a great one. Good choice.
Great one choice. My number one, I had that on there too, Hank, cause that was an amazing moment.
Great afternoon. My number one is going to be when we were at LSU and we're sitting down in the room with all the tiger stripes and shit in it waiting for Coach O.
And then we heard Coach O walk around the corner and he just goes oh seamless hair heck yeah yeah could have could have guessed that but then coach oh walks around the corner steak and cheese or chicken parm and he yeah can't go wrong pizza he goes hey boys how you doing and just hearing that it like it made me stand up my instant reaction was like hey i have to stand up now i'm at attention coach o's here let's let's do this so that that for me i think was my easy number one just hearing coach o's voice in person for the first time and and catching his contagious enthusiasm okay my number one i'm surprised that my number one's still there. I think it's one of the most memorable moments we've, we've ever had.
It's the milk mile, nut tap milk mile in Indianapolis. One of the funniest, just spontaneous, dumb, like the mix of dumb ideas, turning into even dumber ideas, turning into just a terrible idea of hitting each other in the nuts we had to actually ban nut tapping after pft full full like closed fist punched me in the balls uh like about six months after that so we had to ban it for life but that was the peak of it and it was just guys being dudes it's like kind of a mini jackass just broke out just puking and doing random shit so that was my easy number one very funny it was it was awesome and it was right after i think we had skyline chili for the meal right before that so we're throwing up milk and skyline chili and running a mile and hitting each other in the nuts yes i actually had i put in some of my honorable mentions i put worst grit week moments Week moments.
And one of the worst Grit Week moments to me was Grit Week 1 when you tried Skyline Chili for the first time and then you convinced yourself you liked it. But fakely you didn't.
Big fan. Okay.
My number two is going to be Grit Week 2 when we interviewed Jim Harbaugh. Not only was it one of our biggest names at that time that we were going after, it was also just like we were trying really, really hard.
I remember I had texts out to like six different people in the Michigan facility bothering all of them. We finally get in there.
Harbaugh comes out. He cut himself shaving right before the interview.
So we got super lucky that we had about 10-15 minutes where we just got to shoot the shit with him warm up to him and then we sat sat down we had the human body craves contact we had the time when when pft asked him so you you've like uh loved football since you were like i think you said a year and his brain brain just stopped. And he's like, no, no, no, no.

I've been in love with football since I was six years old.

Talking about milk, drinking milk with him.

Just an awesome moment.

Wearing khakis, the whole thing.

Him talking about the last time he got into a fight was at a Binigan's like five years ago.

That was in that interview too.

Yes, that was a huge, huge deal.

So I feel like that was a big breakthrough moment for us as well. So that would be my number two.
Okay, those are two good ones. I'm going to go for my second one.
I'm going to go with last year on Great Week out in the Boo, out in Malibu, California, hanging with Zac Efron in the back of the van and doing Dunkirk with him, doing like a minute and a half long rendition of the plot of Dunkirk. Because at that point, I think that's when Zac really started to understand what we were doing.
And he got into it. And you could see him like flip a switch, like go from interview mode into, okay, I'm in Zac Efron creative mode.
And just like doing the sounds of the voices. He's like, I'm the kid from One Direction.
I'm a little cunt. Like that whole thing.
It was amazing. It was even funnier on video too.
Yep. That's a great pick.
I had that on my list as well. Hank, you have two.
I will go Grit Week 1. This is kind of similar to Big Cat.
This was like, you know, I mean, this was like our first trip together, really. Grit Week 1 was.
And we didn't really know if Rob Ryan was going to come on, so we just parked the bus in the Bill's parking lot. We did the video where we jumped through tables.
That was funny, and then Rob Ryan ended up coming through with beer. And basically it was like, I want to hang out with you guys forever.
Oh, and to go off of that, this will be a combined number two, but when we were we were on the way back from buffalo when the car remember the car was driving by and threw us a drive-by beer throw yes yes that was great that was those are great i don't know it's um it's the great week one just feels different just because it was just so we were still so new so young we were the only people like driving we were driving the bus like i had to drive the bus empty the bus like we didn't really have the infrastructure at barstool that we do now where it's like people are you know we have different people doing different jobs it was like we were dealing with ads we were dealing with everything so it was just a whole it was a shit show but it was fun it was so fun and also just the entire and we actually went to the indie derby like that was a real life thing indie 500 yeah it's just being in in buffalo in general, the people that were handing us beers, diving through the table, hanging out with Rex or with Rob Ryan. And you're right.
When he stepped foot on that bus, he was like, I am considering quitting my job as a football coach and just going where the RV goes. All right.
Good pick, Hank. And I think this was I don't know if this was two or three.
I think it was two if it was the Jim Harbaugh year, but tornado chasing with Buda Ben. Yep, that's two.
Yeah, that was on the way to Cincinnati for Andy Dalton. So funny.
Buda Ben wanted to cry. Literally wanted to cry.
One of the hardest. That was just like an out-of-body experience.
That was just so, so, so, so, so funny. He threatened to call his mom on me.
Yeah, no, he was like calling his mom, like giving her his last wishes, like, you know, please remember me. Like, we're about to die.
If you keep going towards this tornado, I'm going to call his mom on me yeah no he was like calling his mom like giving her his like last wishes like you know please remember me like we're about to die if you keep going towards this tornado i'm gonna call my mom and i was like what is your mom gonna do arrest me well what he didn't realize was we had the weather app pulled up on our phone we saw that we're driving right between the two tornadoes if we had stopped then it was it was gonna be more dangerous i think i reported a tornado on twitter to the weather service, and they said, where was it located? And I said, the sky. And then they got mad at me.
I think they blocked me. Yeah, that was great.
Great pick. Had that as well.
My next one, I'm going to go with Grit Week 1, talking punts for about an hour with Jim Trestle. That was another one of those moments where it was like, we didn't even know what we were doing that day.
We just knew that we were going to Youngstown, maybe seeing Coach Pelini, didn't know if he was going to like us or not. He didn't.
He didn't? Didn't like PFT. That was one of like, I'll never forget it.
He was staring through your soul during that interview. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I felt awkward.
I felt awkward recording it.

Yeah. He likes you now.
He likes me by the end of it. But yeah.
He likes me by the end of it. But my look going into it, he was like, who's this hippie that's here to talk to me? Mm-hmm.
Absolutely. But yeah, the Trestle interview when he was wearing the sweater vest and we're sitting at the table, he's just literally talking about punts for an hour.
Mm-hmm. That's a good one.
I had that one on that list too. All my last two i will go with uh becoming best friends with tom creen on grit week two the vampire bats the vampire bats uh having him just willingly meet us in a uh what was it a party favor uh party city party city parking lot um and then obviously we had him we visited with him again in

Grit Week 4

Grit Week 3 so he's been back to back

but yeah that was awesome

really cool to like

meet someone that you kind of made fun of on the

internet and then become friends with them and then the Vampire

Baths thing is great and then

my last one I'll go with the Titus and Riscilla

Life episode Grit Week 4

so that was one episode

what oh what's that face Hank

Thank you. And then my last one, I'll go with the Titus and Riscilla Life episode, Grit Week 4.
So that was one episode. What? Oh, what's that face, Hank? Hank's wincing.
It happened during Grit Week. Okay, you want me to do a different pick? All right, okay, I'll do a different pick.
That's fine. That's fine.
I can do a different pick. I'll do a different pick.
You're right. That's technicality.
I'll go with then my last pick.

I'll go Marone and jeans,

jeans,

underwater jeans contest in the Jaguars pool.

That was good.

It was so hot out there too.

I don't know how people survive in Jacksonville.

It was like 99 degrees,

99% humidity,

just baking in the sun. That's a good pick uh my last one is going to be uh the dan interview where we went to dan's house and signed an nda with dan saying that we weren't allowed to talk about what a piece of shit misogynist he was because he was a piece of shit during the interview and then later on his people hit us up they're like hey you can't air this and you signed an nda and going to sue you, and he's a piece of shit.
So feel free to bleep out as much of that as you need to to keep us legally covered. But that's going to be my fourth part.
Yeah, way to get us all sued for a lot of money there. I disavow PFT's.
We'll just bleep his last name so people won't be able to tell. Oh, yeah, thanks.
Appreciate that. Could just be any Dan.
Yeah, okay. All right, your last pick, Hank.
I mean, PFC, I'm in shock. Oh, wait, do you still have one more? No, PFC doesn't have any more.
Why are you in shock, Hank? You didn't pick the Capitals and Lightning? Oh! It was a great one, but I feel like that was, it's not for everybody. You know, like as a Capitals fan, it was amazing.
Oh, so you're pandering? Oh, so you're pandering? Yeah, what the fuck? No, I'm trying not to be selfish'm trying not to be selfless. If I'm being serious here, I was coming down off of not a great day previously.
Dealing with my brother. It was great and it was awesome to advance the Stanley Cup.
But at the same time, my eyes were on the big prize out there and that's the Cup. I'm not going to pop champagne after winning a game that doesn't get us to the Stanley Cup final.

I'm not going to say that one because I was just surprised that you didn't.

But the Nate shrug that came out of that when you guys got in the fight with the guy after is all-time.

It still makes me laugh.

I said to PFT as I left, I was like, hey, Nate's going to get slapped.

Because I left with like three minutes left because I didn't want to.

It was their moment.

And then PFT texted me like 20 minutes later. He's like, yeah, Nate got slapped.
And then right after the game was over, the people that were in front of us were, I guess, season ticket holders and they were pissed off at me because I was like cheering for the Capitals after they won. And the guy turns around and he's like, you know, I thought we were like, get the fuck out of here.
And I was like, why? I paid for this. He's this he's like no you didn't you snuck down because we're in good seats and i was like no no i this is where i'm sitting this whole game and he yeah shout out seat kick and the guy goes what do you do for a job how can you afford those seats and i was like i own a professional basketball team and then he turns to his wife and he turns back at me i was like why what do? He goes, I own a professional basketball team too.
And was just totally lying and tried to cover for himself in front of his wife. It was a great punking.
It was wonderful. The sneaky, like Tampa Bay Lightning have very hard-o fans because we had this similar situation when the Blackhawks were in the Stanley Cup final in 2015.
Yes, some dude followed me in the bathroom and tried to beat me up. I was in full pads.
So I don't know what it is about Tampa Bay. They get really upset.
My last one, though, I'll go with when we went to – I think we went to Blake Bortles' house. He wasn't even there when we showed up.
He was just walking on inside. And then he had told the story about the bush light.
And I don't even think – this is what was funny to me is that people don't even know we are at his house like we didn't make it known that we were staying at his house but someone just dropped happened to drop off beer at his house organically like they'd heard the story and so like we just happened to be there when other people were dropping off bush lights at his house which was just a common occurrence i guess yeah blake was like we we hit up blake and we're like hey man we're about to be there and he's, dude, I had to go out to dinner with my agent. I left the door open for you guys.
And he came back like three hours later. We just hung out in his house.
And wasn't that also like two months after his car got broken into and got all the shit stolen out of it? And now he's just like leaving his front door open? Yes. All right.
Any other ones that I had? Some of the honorable mentions I had was singing with Pacquiao in front of like 70 people in his entourage. Oh, yeah.
That was an all-time moment. That was very awkward.
I thought we were going to get fucking killed. Hank emptying the tank of the gray water out of the RV for the first time.
Yep. Hank staying at Dana Holgerson's house and partying there.
Oh, my God. I forgot.
oh my god i forgot that was like five in the morning with dana just the two of them were the last two up like everyone had gone to sleep i fucked up yeah when we became best friends yeah that's you guys became best friends that was a good time uh showing up at bruce arian's house at like 9 p.m after he'd been out drinking beers and playing golf all day. And then when we started interviewing, he did that gif reaction where he turns around.
Yes, yes. The one that he's famous for on the sidelines.
And he did it live, and it was amazing. Yes.
Bro Sweet with Bo Pelini. We've got to bring back Bro Sweet, especially now that we're going to do the Dude Perfect.
Remember, we're watching Dude Perfect documentary for Friday's documentary review. Yes, you are, Hank.
Hank, we're going to give you a quiz. I was going through old videos.
One of the lowlights, I forgot about this, but we went to a, I don't know if PFT, you were there. I think you might have been doing, you weren't on the video.
Maybe it was just you weren't on the video, so it was Grit Week 1, I think, a Cleveland Cavs watch party at the Quicken Loans Arena. So they weren't playing.
He saved the Cavs. He lost his wallet the year after.
I left my wallet and won the title. No, you lost your wallet there the year after we went to a game.
We went to a game against the Celtics. No, I left my wallet there.
I'm right. I'm right.
No, we did both. Yeah, we did one.
I think both are true. Right.
In week 1, he lost the wallet. I'm right I'm right no we did both I think both are true right Grit Week 1 he lost the wallet I thought Grit no oh Grit Week 1 he lost the wallet Grit Week 2 we went to an actual game there a playoff yeah and some dude gave me a sick I forget who it was he DMed me he was like yo you want an Isaiah Thomas jersey he gave me this sick like stitched jersey and I lost it that's on the list of like things I think about like what happened to that jersey through scratch well grit week one i was i was very much trying i was trying not to be on video as much as possible when we were doing the dude perfect stuff i was just like right behind the camera and i was like i don't want to be on camera at all and then i shortly realized that literally everything that we do is on camera yeah because we went to a fucking Cavs watch party and did it on camera.
It was the worst experience. Like having to go see, watch another, watch another team that you don't like, watch a playoff game without them, like on a TV at a stadium.
Great week one is when we spent this. This is when Dude Perfect was funny, but we spent a solid, it was probably a full drive, like maybe three to six hours, just conspiring on how we were going to create burner accounts

to take down Dude Perfect from within.

And it was like a whole thought-out plan.

It was so funny.

And it was like too much work to follow through on.

But the actual plotting of it was some of the funniest shit we've ever done.

And we'd never do it.

We'd never do that.

Yeah, nothing ever came out of it.

Yeah, right.

No, those plans definitely fell all the way off yeah uh we can totally be comfortable didn't we go to the minnesota state fair at one point on grit week no no that was training camp yeah those do blend together there are definitely moments where i'm like wait which one was that um yeah everyone should go back and watch all the grit week videos because they're actually they're really well done and there's full recaps for each one so that's something later on this summer it's unfortunate we can't do grit week right now if we can't if things are open we'll make something happen sucks it sucks it sucks but grit week will be back someday uh but yeah it sucks um okay let's finish up we have billy football teaching us about the history of the cover two defense what's up billy what's uh what's going on in the uh in in the cave in the in the dungeon in the bunker what do i call it bunker berserker berserker bunker so um the war with the trash pandas has been won. There was...

The war ended at the massacre at the trash cans.

What?

We're just going to leave it at that.

You killed them?

There's been a lot of emotional scars from it,

but we're just moving on.

Wait, what?

Wait, did you kill the raccoobas?

Just don't ask questions.

We're moving on.

Turns out you cannot relocate

trash pandas in certain states.

Anyway.

Yeah, I've heard about that.

Like in certain states anyway yeah so moving i've heard about that like in in certain states if you capture a rascal animal you're not allowed to then keep it alive like once you capture it you've made your bed you have there are no half measures you have to take it out it's a like and it's illegal to keep them as pets too so once you catch them it's illegal to release them so it's like what the fuck and then you can't relocate them why don't you just drive them somewhere it's illegal it's illegal how would anyone find out well i'm oh you document everything you do as well so if i'm like releasing this raccoon like so you killed these things i did not me personally did not i did not personally do it. Dale did.
Dale? No, we're just... Pete the Tweek? What happened happened.
What happened at the massacre at the trash cans? Dude. Not leave what happened at the massacre at the trash cans.
That's probably why Pete is tweaking. He got high and was like, I can't believe I killed six raccoons today.
No, it was a weed. It was just bad weed.
We're not talking. It was K2.
We're not talking about what happened. The battle was won.
The war was won. Enough about Trash Pandas.
Let's talk about what your subject for the week is. The cover two, the Tampa two, the history of defense in the NFL.
The floor is yours. We're going to break down the Tampa two.
I was inspired to talk about the Tampa 2 after Big Cat threw a pick against Texas while he was playing with Texas Tech in a Tampa 2. He was a classic reason why they developed the Tampa 2, which is to bait ignorance people who don't know certain defenses into throwing to the middle and throw picks now the tampa two was uh developed was used primarily the first time it was really used was in 1975 by the steel curtain defense which was developed by bud carson chuck noel but it was then taken by Tony Dungy and Monte Kiffin and popularized.

I love how you pronounce Monte Kiffin's name. We're talking about Lane Kiffin's dad, but in Bill's head, Monte Kiffin.
He's screwed up by Monte Ball. Yeah.
But that's even Monte Ball. That's Monte Ball too.
What am I saying? Keep going with Monte. I think it's a lot more juice.
Well, the thing is, I read the name Monte too. What am I saying? I read the name going with Monty.
I think it is.

Well, the thing is I read the name Monty and the only Monty,

the only time I've read that name, cause I've never heard his name said on TV, right?

Cause I'm young and he's old.

So I read it.

I'm like, Oh, Monty, like Montavious Brian or something.

Yeah.

Monty, Monty Kiffin.

I love it.

Right.

So Tony Dungy saw, so Tony Dungy was – when this defense was being used, basically the concept that was first used in 1975 was an athletic linebacker drops back farther into coverage because they needed – it was at a time when football was moving away from ground-and-pound defense and ground-and-pound running offenses. seen today in armies, you know, running offense, which is like they're so conservative that they won't even evolve their play style, which is crazy.
So that sort of defense. You're talking shit about the troops? I'm not talking shit about the troops, but like, can you update your offense once in a while? Why? It works.
Are you serious? I mean, i'm gonna get problems to deal with billy did you just see the madden bowl this weekend the dude won not using a single pass play the entire tournament what yes what a dink oh my god that's that's going back that's the most miserable way to play a video game he also had a quarterback that waster. He had Tress Way playing quarterback so that he would just hand the ball off and he could use his salary cap on other positions.
Kind of a genius move. Did we just solve the cover, too, via Madden right now? Well, yeah.
I mean, you just described Jimmy Garoppolo's job. Boom.
There we go. Damn.
That was mean. That was mean.
I didn't mean that, Jimmy, if you're listening. I think you're actually a good quarterback.
So. Yeah.
What the hell was I talking about? We were talking about the cover, too. So, Tone, Dunji, and Lone, Kiffin, and Monte were together.
Yeah, Monte. Luby, Smith.
Yeah, so football was evolving, so defense had to evolve. Offense was evolving.
Bill Walsh's West Coast offense was going nuts. Joe Montana, they were attacking between the linebackers and the safeties.
And the linebackers were old guys like Ditbuttkiss, older guys who were just run stoppers, couldn't evolve fast enough to defeat the West Coast offense, which was picking apart linebackers and under the safeties. The defense's responses to this, and Tony Dungy saw how effective it was getting linebackers back into coverage.
So what he did was the Tampa 2 was perfected under him, and they got very um athletic linebackers such as jack lambert to be able to cover between uh the line of scrimmage and where the safeties were playing so it gets its namesake from the tampa bay buccaneers who ran the systems from the mid 90s to the early 2000s so how it works by Tampa. Okay.
So it's usually run out of a 4-3, which most cover twos are ran out of. They want to disguise it to make it look like a regular cover two to trick people like Big Cat into thinking that the middle is open.
Got it. So the middle linebacker, they want people to think that the middle linebacker's job is just come downhill and tackle as opposed to drop back and coverage.
Just sit, maybe just be a quarterback spy or track the running back one-on-one. It's like get the running back out of the backfield, it's man.
So they're trying to trick everyone into thinking it's a man coverage and cover two. Thus, then what happens is you need four down linemen, three linebackers, two safeties, two corners.
So it's more of a shell. So everything's played in front of you.
So the safeties keep the all like basically the ball's caught in front of the safety. So you need hard hitting safeties.
Guys that would be good in this position are like you need gang tackling safety, such as Earl Thomas and corners to keep the plays in front of them like Ronnie Lott. Earl Thomas is really good at gang tackling.

Tackling.

Gang wrestling and all that stuff.

He's a team player.

He's a team player.

Band of brothers.

So the run game requires traffic to be spilled to the weak side linebacker.

So you need a guy like Sean Lee, who's a very consistent tackler.

James Harrison, I think, played on the weak side a couple times.

Just guys who can just make a tackle one-on-one.

Meet guys in the hole.

And then you need extremely athletic middle linebackers such as Brian Urlacher or Luke Kuechly is an amazing Tampa 2 linebacker just because he's so versatile and he's so long so that he can play big space and also play the run game play the run game. Now, the reason why, you know, Bill Walsh, you can see the West Coast offense evolution throughout football in basically coming to like the epitome of what Bill Walsh started is Andy Reid, Andy Reid's in his coaching tree and what Kansas City did this year with Patrick Mahomes.
That is like high powered offensive air attack football. And basically the Tampa two needs to evolve to get to a point to like, keep up with this.
Anyway. I have a question.
Yes. Billy, do you think the Tampa two sometimes can be described as a bend don't break like that? You can probably just break.
He's probably just like slice them up down the field, right? Well, it's, it's now the, the response to the Tampa two was sort of the dink and dunk underneath stuff that happens. You run a mesh, a lot of mesh plays where they sit instead of a lot of sitting in the zones, which has been breaking it up.
And if I were you big cat, that's's how I would attack these zone cover twos that you keep throwing picks into. You got to start running plays such as stick routes, ones where they're sitting in the gaps in the zones as opposed to running these man-breaker plays that are getting a lot of picks and you're throwing late into the flat.
Did you ever face Tampa 2 in high school? Yeah. The first time I saw Tampa 2 was my senior year, and I threw a pick into it, and I got super pissed, and I almost knocked myself out trying to tackle the guy because it was a linebacker.
Damn. And he pissed me off.
So then what did you do the next drive? I looked out for the linebacker, and we hit him underneath with a cushion. We hit him underneath in the cushion.
But yeah. Anyway, that's the Tampa two.
Okay. So I can describe.
Has a Tampa two been updated since Tampa? Cause I feel like we don't hear as much about defenses running a Tampa two right now. We don't because they're more running cover sixes and disguising their coverages nowadays because the offensives have gotten so advanced that, you know, now people are playing cover four to one side of the field and cover two to the other side of the field.
Why don't more defense coordinators just get pissed off and run a punt block and just like get to the quarterback? That's why, that's what I do sometimes. Yeah.
Because then, because then you just, everyone's running go routes and you-on-one coverage, and you got a guy who's got speed to the outside, and it's just like getting touchdowns because there's no safety over the top. Yeah, but it's punt block.
You can get there. Billy, if you had a – if you were the coach of a football team, what offense and defense would you run? I would definitely run an insane, you know, air attack offense, you know, more of like Mike Leach air raid than a West Coast.
Okay. Just where, you know, you got, you get a guy with a strong arm and just really make it basic for him to go through his reads and maybe even feed him his read before the plays even called.
So he doesn't have to think he just goes one, two, three it looks at the first guy looks the second guy and then works the third guy and he doesn't even have to think at all so that you know he's not you know going crazy and goes cavalier i think that the nfl should actually do what the xfl did which is allow the coaches to talk to their quarterbacks up until like when the ball snapped that'd be awesome like can you you imagine Peyton Manning being an offensive coordinator up in the booth and telling like –

Exactly.

Essentially playing Madden with like a live quarterback down on the field

being like, hey, you're going to throw the ball here.

It would make it way more effective for good athletes

who don't have the mental capability to grasp an offense and just have someone tell them what to do, because that's the hardest thing once you get on that field. Who are guys like that who just can't grasp it mentally? Let's take a guy with a super strong arm, very athletic, but might not – all the intangibles, but might not...

You can't really measure what's in the brain as of yet.

Josh Allen.

Whoa.

Careful.

Billy.

He has very high IQ.

Careful, my friend.

You can have a rocket arm, but

you might have a rocket arm, but you might not have

rocket science. If you want to fly a rocket, you have to be smart.
I realize that I may have rocket science, but I may not have a rocket arm. You have the mind for it, you're saying? Well, I mean, maybe.
I mean, my football career hasn't really panned out how I thought it would. Yeah, I'd say that's probably true.
What you're talking about is Swag Kelly, essentially. Like, if you put Peyton Manning's brain into Swag Kelly's body.
We should have Swag Kelly to have someone talking in his brain 24-7, because he would probably have three Super Bowls right now. Just be like, don't go in the house.
In the two years he's been in the league? Well, just have a guy talking to him. Like, don't go into the house, Swag Kelly.
Don't go into the house. Don't go back to the bar with an AK-47.
Just don't. It's these small mental errors that he needs to stay away from.
Once he cleans those up, he's good to go. Once you have a guy in it, he needs to wear a headset at all times and just have someone telling him what to do and not to do.
Yeah. That makes sense.
He's winning the Super Bowl. And ankle monitor.
Ankle monitor as well. Yes.
Maybe. Okay.
Anything else, Billy? This has been very informative. Yeah.
How much blood have you been giving, by the way? I've been giving. I gave platelets the other day, but I've been giving too much blood.
I've been passing out.

I've been lying to the nurses of when I last gave because

it turns out I keep passing out

because I'm giving too much blood.

Berserker blood cult is going pretty strong.

A lot of people are giving blood.

It's actually really awesome.

You keep passing out.

I'm still giving blood.

The only reason I'm passing out is because I'm giving too much blood.

Maybe it's just like

cut back on the blood donation by

10%.

Thank you. because what i'm still giving blood the only reason i'm passing out is because i'm giving too much blood okay maybe maybe just like needles cut back on the blood donation by 10 percent but yeah give a week off give a week off but then i'm a fraud i gotta just give all i got no dude actually like to be honest with you a cult being the leader of a cult you actually shouldn't be doing what everyone else is doing you should be telling them to like not have sex and then you fuck all their wives.
That kind of thing. So you tell them to give...
You say, we got to give blood. And then you start...
Yeah, and you start drinking like baby blood. Oh, shit.
No. No, I'm saying this is like...
Learn cult. Leadership studies.
Yes. Okay, Well, thank you, Billy.
Maybe see you this week. I don't know.
Tell everyone where they should watch you play Twitch. I'm actually – I can't Twitch this week.
But – oh, my Twitch is Berserker Billy on Twitch. Please follow and subscribe.
UFC fights have been great. You're not going to see any dubs on Warzone, but it's more just coming to hang out.
What attitude is that? Hank, no one's coming to watch us win. If they want to watch people win, they're going to watch Ninja.
Speak for yourself. Hank, you're not going to become a pro streamer.
Trade on your personality. Trade on your personality.
you can have a good personality and win yeah but I mean

I don't know

I'm just terrible at the game once I get better

maybe I'll be more competitive

like I mean

anyway

well thank you guys for having me on again also

message the haters stop going

my DMs you can just tweet it on the timeline

but it's just stay on my DMs

yeah stay on the DMs

you're not getting in my head you're just in my DMs

Thank you. Yes.
Mm-hmm. Got it.
You can tweet whatever you want on the timeline. Just stay out of my DMs.
You can be in my mentions, just not my DMs. There you go.
You can make your DMs so that only people who follow you...

I mean, only people you follow.

But there's a lot of nice people who come into the DMs too.

Oh, okay. So then keep it open.

No girls allowed in my DMs.

Okay. Thank you, Billy, as always.

Thanks, guys. Love you guys.
I'll be coming. I'll be gone.
Needless to say. I won't say it.
But I need to settle in a little way.

Tell me how much of you are saying out to me.

I'm so ready to be safe.

So take on me.

Take me.

I'll be gone.

I can't do. Thank you.