Mark Cuban, Mt Rushmore Of Life's Little Embarrassments And Ronnie Coleman

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Mark Cuban. Awesome discussion with the Cubes, the Cube man,

Speaker 1 soon to be our president that we're going to be the cabinet members of. Mark Cuban's awesome.
We talked to him about everything. NBA coming back, running for president,

Speaker 1 some of our ideas, everything. We have Mount Flushmore of life's little, small, embarrassing moments.

Speaker 1 We're going to review the Ronnie Coleman the King documentary, which I didn't love, but we'll still talk about it because he's still a legend.

Speaker 1 It was your documentary. I know.
I thought it was going to be better.

Speaker 4 You just knew that he was an interesting guy. Right.

Speaker 1 He had achieved the movies. They just didn't.

Speaker 1 It was frustrating, to say the least. Yes.
He's a very interesting guy, and it just felt like there needed to be more.

Speaker 4 Open invite to Ronnie to come on the show, though.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 And then we have.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's it. That's it.
All right. Let's have a good show.
I was just trying to think about what else we had, but I think I named it all. Mount Flushmore, Ronnie Coleman, Mark Cuban, Firefest.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love some work to be done.

Speaker 1 Look at the handle washing.

Speaker 1 It's part of my take.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.

Speaker 4 Use code BarStool.

Speaker 1 You get $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA. Today is Friday, May 15th, and PFT is topless because Hank swept him in ping pong.

Speaker 4 Well, we went one and one today. I beat Hank.
I swept Hank in Sup Pong, and then he beat me in ping pong. So I guess we're 500 today.
I am shirtless, though. You got swept.
That's the truth.

Speaker 4 It's a little cold in the studio today in the Cash App Studio. Pete turned down the lights a little bit, so I could cut some diamonds with these ticks.

Speaker 1 Is the rivalry dead?

Speaker 4 I think the rivalry is dead. I think anytime that there's a sweep that happens, it's bad.
There's no sugarcoating it whatsoever.

Speaker 4 I retired from ping pong on stool streams tonight because, let's face it, if you tune in to watch, if you're giving us your hard-earned time and expecting to see an athletic competition between myself and Hank, and you end up watching a sweep,

Speaker 4 that's disappointing for me to be giving that to you.

Speaker 1 Hank, do you feel a little bad? Do you feel a little bad that you beaten PFT down to this?

Speaker 3 It's like MJ versus the Pistons, except in this situation, no one got to saw the Pistons beat the Bulls.

Speaker 4 No one got to see the ball.

Speaker 1 All right, so we have a flush more of life's little embarrassing moments. That makes it a little bit better right now.
Yeah, that one. That's a little better now.
You did give one back there. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Appreciate that. Hank beat you 4-1 today.

Speaker 3 You said that earlier, but that's the thing where it's like, maybe that's just me. I'm not even embarrassed about that.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 we are at the point of

Speaker 1 the quarantine and shelter-in-place where the news stories every day, there are none. It's basically manufactured, latching on news stories, so much so there were.
We are now, we have arrived at the

Speaker 1 meme that everyone is sharing that is so fucking annoying

Speaker 1 on inception. The what do you think of when you see this picture or logo meme that's going around? And I got to say, the worst part about this is the trending bar is going to be.

Speaker 1 I've already seen Jeff Conine trending, thought he was dead. Oh my god.
Eric Snow trending, thought he was dead. This is, we're at Hellscape.
We can't get worse than this.

Speaker 4 Jeff Conine was trending. That's probably the first time that he's ever trended on any social media platform.

Speaker 1 It makes sense when you see the old Marlins logo. You're like, yeah, Jeff Conine.
It does, yeah.

Speaker 4 Him, Dontrell Willis.

Speaker 4 That's really all I think of.

Speaker 1 When you see all these accounts that are all basically the exact same sharing the same thing to try to get off that, like, they're trying to suck on that viral teat. I just want to fucking end it.

Speaker 1 Well, all sports teams.

Speaker 4 Yeah, suicidal big cat usually doesn't come out until like November.

Speaker 1 I didn't know where that sentence was going, and I was like, yeah, just end it.

Speaker 4 But all sports teams are even, they're scraping the bottom of the barrel too, because they're just saying, like, your third at is your quarantine buddy, and just trying to get as many replies as possible.

Speaker 3 It's also with old highlights, like, I love Larry Bird, watching Larry Bird highlights. It's at this stage of like the office level of saturation where they're just posting the same like throwback.

Speaker 3 Larry Bird was ice in his veins, and it's like, I see that every single day. It's like the office, you love the office, but when everyone posts office clips all day long, you get fatigue from it.

Speaker 3 So it's not even like, it's just you're getting fatigued because they have nothing else to post. They're just posting the same throwbacks over and over and over and over and over again.

Speaker 1 The entire internet has just become Rex Chapman's Twitter feed. Yes.

Speaker 4 End it. There should just be dog day on the internet.

Speaker 4 You're not allowed to post on social media unless it's a picture or a gif of a cute woofer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just, I, I mean, the big news of the day was Joe Buck saying that they might do fake crowd noise and virtual fans, and then everyone getting upset about that.
Why are people upset about this?

Speaker 4 No one's really upset about it. Everyone's just upset that they're not the first person to make the joke about the Atlanta Falcons already doing this four years ago.
Right.

Speaker 4 So it's just, it's just frustration growing from that. And I don't think that Joe Buck actually said that.
No.

Speaker 4 I think this is like a hair plug, I almost died thing where he says something and it gets taken and the ball kind of rolls on a little bit.

Speaker 4 But he said that it wouldn't shock him if if they use virtual fans in the stands.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with that.

Speaker 4 And they pipe in the crowd noise. I'm okay with that

Speaker 4 only

Speaker 4 if they change the level of the noise depending on the situation. Of course.

Speaker 4 I want the person who's in charge of that to have a little feel for the moment. If it's a big fourth down, well, are they just going to pipe it in on the broadcast?

Speaker 4 Are they going to pipe it into the stadium itself?

Speaker 1 I want Trent Reznor sitting in New York City doing the fucking masterpiece audio levels for every single game. Give me that.
Yes, yeah.

Speaker 4 Make it a super producer. Him, Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rizza. The guy who did the Batman soundtrack.

Speaker 4 Brian Wilson. Like, break out the big guns here.

Speaker 4 I'm interested to see what that effect is going to have on the game. If a quarterback...

Speaker 4 Well, first of all, the quarterback Audibles, if they don't use any fake crowd noise, are going to sound awesome coming through the TV. You're going to hear everything that they say.
Right.

Speaker 1 Well, I... See, I feel like the NFL wouldn't let there be super loud mics.
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So that's where I always came from the perspective of people saying, well, we want to hear the players talk. We want to hear that.
Do you think the NFL is going to let that happen?

Speaker 1 Do you think the NFL is going to let players have like a hot mic?

Speaker 4 It's not the XFL.

Speaker 1 Do you think Bill Belichick's going to let his team have a hot mic? Do you think any coach is the NFL is full of coaches that are the most paranoid people in the world?

Speaker 1 Do you think they're going to be willingly allowing all of their schemes and everything to be just said out loud? No way.

Speaker 4 Probably not. Right.
I am interested to hear Vantes Berfict just unfiltered.

Speaker 1 And then get suspended.

Speaker 4 And yeah, this is just a big ruse to find different ways to suspend players.

Speaker 1 I just, there's no, there's, uh, there's no news. We got great show.
Cuban is awesome. We have Cuban coming up.
There's just, you know what they did?

Speaker 1 I'm just, I'm at the point where I'm done faking that there's news. Uh-huh.
Like this Blake Snell thing. I don't even care about that.
He's right. Move on.
He's right.

Speaker 4 He's just saying, and I did more reading on this. He's saying, and it makes sense.

Speaker 3 What about the teachers and the first responders, big cat, though?

Speaker 4 That's a good point. Did they renegotiate their rates?

Speaker 1 Blake Snell is right.

Speaker 4 If the players had not already negotiated to take into account what's happening with the COVID virus, then I would be like, okay, yeah, maybe you should make some concessions.

Speaker 4 But the fact is, the players already agreed to give up a bunch of their money. Why are they going back again?

Speaker 1 Right. And we're at the MP.

Speaker 4 You can't just keep saying, okay, we're going to go back and ask for more of our money.

Speaker 1 It's actually kind of like saying coronavirus is bad. We all agree.
We all agree on all these things.

Speaker 4 Anti-coronavirus.

Speaker 1 Big-time anti-coronavirus. Fuck that shit.

Speaker 4 What about like mannequins in the stands? I'd like to see real dolls in the stands. Just a bunch of sex dolls everywhere.

Speaker 1 I would be cool with figuring out a way to have, you know, in like Japan, they have those robots that they can put your face on the robot.

Speaker 1 Have that and all the diehard fans get to get their faces on the robots.

Speaker 4 Have the Seahawks fans with the gloves.

Speaker 4 I absolutely need real doll to make a Seattle Seahulk to sit in the every front row seat should be that hook. Yes.
That's what I want.

Speaker 1 I just don't see any downside. I know people, I think people are bargaining with, like, I hope there's still real fans.
But if there's not real fans, just put the fucking virtual fans.

Speaker 1 Give us something to look at.

Speaker 4 What about this?

Speaker 4 In order to actually have it be interactive with the fans, what if like the Team Twitter accounts say, okay, if you retweet this, it increases the crowd noise.

Speaker 4 And then fans that are online can like smash that RT button. It increases the value of the NFL's social media accounts.
And it can provide a dynamic. That's not bad.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's some franchise. I mean, would the Chargers ever, I guess that would be exactly what it would be like.
Exactly what it would be like. The Chargers would just have nothing.

Speaker 1 It would be one guy

Speaker 4 just yelling. And for maybe

Speaker 4 if it gets more faves than retweets, then it lowers it. So Redskins' games would be all opposing fans at the games.
Right.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm down with that. There we go.

Speaker 4 Or if you're a seasoned ticket holder, don't they, you know, when you try to buy a ticket online and they have the picture from your seat of what the field looks like?

Speaker 4 What if you just set up like 67,000 little webcams so that people could just like virtually be sitting in their seat?

Speaker 1 Yeah, virtual reality is going to get here eventually. We will be watching games like that while we get blowjobs.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Finally. Okay, you can make that type of noise with your shirt off.

Speaker 4 We'll be thinking about getting blowjobs.

Speaker 1 That was way too much of a sigh with your shirt off. Because from my perspective, you're naked.
Yeah. I might be.
I can't see anything underneath this.

Speaker 4 I might be.

Speaker 4 I'm also keeping my eye on the Todd Gurley situation.

Speaker 1 Have you been staying abreast of the Todd Gurley situation?

Speaker 1 He has arthritis as like a 28-year-old?

Speaker 4 No, I'm talking about the money that he's owed from the Rams.

Speaker 4 So the Rams still haven't paid Todd Gurley his last paycheck yet, and so he's mad about that. He says that he won't talk to anybody, any of his teammates on the Rams until he gets paid.

Speaker 4 I don't know if that's going to accomplish anything, but I'd like to say to Todd Gurley,

Speaker 4 I'll take on that debt. I'll become your collection agency.
Send me over to that stadium. I'll strip that shit of copper wire.
Wait, but I'll make some money.

Speaker 1 So you're going to pay him.

Speaker 4 I'll get a line of credit. I'll get a line of credit, pay Todd Gurley, and then I'll go collect from the Rams.
And whatever I collect from them, I gets to keep.

Speaker 1 We'll take a bat to Sean McVay's kneecaps. Less Sneed.
We're coming for you, bro.

Speaker 4 Listen, Todd, they spent a fortune redesigning their jerseys to look like IKEA billboards. So you need to just, they're going through some cash flow issues right now.

Speaker 1 I can't believe how bad some of these jerseys are.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do Firefest and we'll get to Cuban.

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You know what's huge, actually? So, I've been seeing this on a lot of Twitter accounts.

Speaker 4 I think Feudelberg pointed this out for the first time, but they're getting really into this day in history, in sports history, like one year ago, and it's the most mundane shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kawhi, hit the shot.

Speaker 4 Tomorrow, that's a pretty big one, actually.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is, but it's also a second-round series, and it's also one year

Speaker 1 old.

Speaker 1 It's got to be like five years plus to be history.

Speaker 4 I'm trying to figure out what they're going to tweet out tomorrow. What happened May 15th, 2019? I just googled in sports.
Graham McDowell played a practice round at the PGA championship.

Speaker 4 That's the first thing. Who could do that?

Speaker 1 Jake Marsh, we need you to be doing this. Find the most boring

Speaker 1 this day in history and tweet it from Pardon My Take every single day. The most boring.

Speaker 4 The most boring. It's going to be a challenge.

Speaker 4 You know what? We want to find out what.

Speaker 3 Based on players going one for four with a single.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I want it to be a competition where we see which one of our tweets has the least amount of engagement on it. Yeah.
That's how we will measure how big of a success it is.

Speaker 1 This day in sports history and just have it be awful awful.

Speaker 3 Olympic qualifiers. Like this person qualified for the shot put in 1997.

Speaker 4 I like that. Should it just be limited to one year ago?

Speaker 1 No, I think it should be

Speaker 4 past five years.

Speaker 1 Past five years so that it's at least well, like we shouldn't do some random game from 100 years ago because then it might, yeah. Past five years, May 15th, this day in history, Jake will tweet.

Speaker 1 He's going to tweet it out every single day.

Speaker 4 Cincinnati Reds right fielder Yasel Puig hits a game-winning RBI single against the Chicago Cubs.

Speaker 4 And this one belongs to the Reds.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 this day in history. The Rays beat the Marlins 1-0.

Speaker 4 There you go. That's a pretty good one.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 That's a really good one.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do Fire Fest. Hank, Fire Fest.

Speaker 3 My Fire Fest, my first one is that I actually can't even say what my real Fire Fest is until next week. So that's my first one.

Speaker 3 I have a Fire Fest, but I was just told that I'm not allowed to talk about it until next week. So that's Fire Fest number one.

Speaker 4 It's like a no-hitter? Nope. You've got something that

Speaker 4 you think is going to happen that hasn't happened yet?

Speaker 3 It's something I'm participating in.

Speaker 1 Oh, the.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 I can't talk about it until next week. So that's my first Firefest.

Speaker 3 My second Fire Fest is that

Speaker 3 last week, after we had this whole conversation about, you know, pulling a hank, as you will,

Speaker 3 I had a perfect situation where I could have let in because I rode my longboard in, my boosted board, which is apparently now out of business. I rode it in to work on Thursday.

Speaker 3 I didn't realize till after we recorded that it died. It's dead.
It's not coming back.

Speaker 1 And boosted board

Speaker 1 is dead.

Speaker 3 And boosted board ceased to exist as a company.

Speaker 1 They're also dead.

Speaker 3 I could have perfectly, like, actually, you were talking about doing a hank, and I could have been like, hey, actually, my boosted board is broken, and I need a new one. And I didn't do that.

Speaker 1 So boosted board.

Speaker 3 That's my fire festive this week. If you're listening, I was missing that opportunity to say that my boosted board is broken.
I need a new electric skateboard.

Speaker 1 And you need an electric bike.

Speaker 3 So that's my fire bike.

Speaker 1 You can ride a motorcycle.

Speaker 3 What about one of those just like shitty bikes with like a lawnmower mower on it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the ones, yeah, yeah. When you see the delivery guys going around, they have like the electric bikes where they only have to pedal like once every 30 minutes.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So that's my firefighter. I'm thinking that maybe Boosted Board has some inventory left over.
If they're out of business, they probably just.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, people think you could buy batteries and then you gotta...

Speaker 1 That's how you're not a gearbox.

Speaker 3 I would explode, I think, if I had to do that.

Speaker 1 Why did Boosted Board go out of business? I don't know. It's fucking way too amazing.

Speaker 3 I loved my Boosted Board.

Speaker 4 I think most people that...

Speaker 4 Do you drive a skateboard? Most people that drive skateboards do it for the love of the boarding. They don't want to be pushed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, it's the ultimate like millennial hipster move to have an electronic skateboard, but I fucking love it, so I need to get a new one.

Speaker 3 And my Firefest is that I missed that opportunity last week to let people know that I need a new one.

Speaker 4 I got passed on my way into work tonight. I rode the bike, the city bike in.

Speaker 4 I got passed by a boosted board, and I thought it was Hank because the person almost clipped me, and they kept going forward.

Speaker 3 That would have been ultimate intimidation.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I thought that's what you were doing. And so it got in my head before the game.
I was like, Hank just buzzed my tower.

Speaker 1 Is that it, Hank? That's it. Great.

Speaker 3 So tune in next week for My Fire Fest. Okay.

Speaker 4 My Fire Fest of the week is something that I haven't really done that much reading on, but it sounds scary and it feels like something that has been building up for a while.

Speaker 4 I think that Congress just allowed the FBI to access all of our search history on the internet.

Speaker 4 I saw that tweet. I didn't click the link.
Yeah, so

Speaker 4 it seems bad. I've I've been saying for years that I think at some point all of our search history is going to be totally public.
And I think that the porn sites have been complicit recently.

Speaker 4 I think that this is actually like something that's been going on for the last three years because on most major porn sites, they feature heavily the whole like...

Speaker 4 stepson, stepdaughter dynamic. Even if you never click on those videos and watch them, they're pushing those on you.

Speaker 4 I think that they've been doing that so that now they know that anyone that's been to one of these websites has either accidentally or on purpose clicked on one of those.

Speaker 4 So they have dirt on everybody in America almost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but if everyone has that, then we can just be like, well, yeah, we all know it's a very relatable moment. Okay.

Speaker 4 Can we just say right off the bat, we will not shame anyone

Speaker 4 if it comes out that you've clicked on.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're really getting in front of this one. I don't know.
I don't know if I've clicked on one. I've never in front of it.
I've never.

Speaker 1 I was ready to do the we won't shame anyone's stepmom or stepsister. Thought about it a little bit.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you've been looking at incest porn i've never intended trying to get everyone to go along with not talking about it started with game of thrones and when that was going on everyone was like let's capitalize on this and we'll make incest the new hotness and i just like to say i don't think i've ever accidentally clicked on incest porn i don't know if i have either that's the thing accidentally accidentally

Speaker 1 right so just stay woke just stay woke be careful use your friends go to the library like we used to do back in the day like that famous video my favorite video ever the dude getting who's masturbating at the library, and then they like they caught him and interviewed him in his front lawn.

Speaker 1 Carl Monday, yeah, one of the greatest

Speaker 4 investigators.

Speaker 1 That was the investigator, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Carl Monday, he pulls this guy over, and the guy's Ohio State. He's rocking an OSU sweatshirt.
It's like, so you just started having sex with yourself in the library? He's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then they got him on his front lawn.
And I think his dad or his mom came out and was like, leave my son alone. He's just jerking off the library.
Yeah. It's great.

Speaker 4 I'll find the clip at you. Hank, you got to watch that.
I'll find

Speaker 1 a Fucking great one.

Speaker 1 All right, my Fire Fest is I got

Speaker 1 I'm really into naming rights, and I think I'm going to probably go broke just naming random things. So I'm officially open to,

Speaker 1 open for business. I will buy, purchase naming rights for anything.
What about my third night? Nipper also planning

Speaker 1 buying triple-digit hats. Yeah, with that name, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm. At the point of quarantine where I'm going to start buying random shit because I have not been losing money gambling.
So my brain says you'll never lose money gambling again.

Speaker 1 You're free to spend all your sports.

Speaker 3 Your stream stadium needs a name sponsor.

Speaker 1 How much?

Speaker 3 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 4 $300 for my nipple.

Speaker 1 Let me see it

Speaker 1 right there. If you throw in the fourth, I'll think about it.

Speaker 4 No, fourth is going to cost you. Okay.
That one's a premium. No deal.

Speaker 1 No deal. Okay.

Speaker 4 I'll see you in a couple weeks.

Speaker 4 You'll be back.

Speaker 1 Hmm. What about your beard, Hank?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't sell your beard, naming rights for your beard? No. Because what if I shave it? You can do whatever you want.
Yeah, no, you could. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 We'll put it in the contract. If you shave it, it's fine.

Speaker 3 If you have a beard,

Speaker 3 I want big final approval.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Born on Hank Lockwood.

Speaker 4 How much right now for your firstborn?

Speaker 1 Right now? Yeah.

Speaker 3 $1 million.

Speaker 1 Cash? Yeah.

Speaker 4 That sounds pretty tempting, right?

Speaker 3 You guys got equity.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, $1 million.
What's up? Sell me all that. No, let's get back on the beard.
Why wouldn't you sell me your beard?

Speaker 3 Because you would name it something dumb and then people would just be like, no, we could agree to a name.

Speaker 1 We could agree to a name.

Speaker 3 No, I don't like what. I just don't.

Speaker 1 I pay you $50 a week for your bearding.

Speaker 3 No. It needs to be something that I can take off.
I don't want something that's on me full-time.

Speaker 1 You can take your beard off anytime you want. No.

Speaker 4 Yes, you can. What about just the mustache part of it?

Speaker 1 Either way, if someone has something cool, like if you have your garage or something, I will buy naming rights to it. So your, you know, beer pong table, your golf clubs.

Speaker 3 And what do you get out of it?

Speaker 1 They have to include me every time they use it. They have to include me in a tweet, and they also have to display an

Speaker 1 image or poster that they pay for that says the name of the place.

Speaker 4 And if you have a website for whatever that is, you have to include at the bottom, like our official, our partners, our corporate partners include Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Open for business. Ooh.
What?

Speaker 1 I've already bought a bunch of people.

Speaker 3 Giants cornerback DeAndre Baker and Seahawks cornerback Quentin Dunbar arrested for four counts of armed robbery with a firearm.

Speaker 4 Together?

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 3 Arrest warrant has been issued.

Speaker 1 Man, that's a break shelter in place.

Speaker 4 May 13th. I don't like that

Speaker 4 it's two rival teams teaming up together to rob people.

Speaker 1 Are they rivals?

Speaker 4 Seahawks and the Giants? Yeah.

Speaker 4 They both won Super Bowls in the last 10 years.

Speaker 1 I think they can do it. I think they can pull that off.
Either way, just hit me up for...

Speaker 1 I already bought Brandon Walker's basement and Stephen Chase basketball court. So I'm in.
I'm in for anything. I would like to just name everything.

Speaker 1 It's just brand recognition.

Speaker 4 How much would you pay for this nipple?

Speaker 1 $200

Speaker 1 cash.

Speaker 4 I have a little more respect for myself than that.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 1 $300 cash.

Speaker 4 What did you say initially? I think I said $300.

Speaker 1 Price went up.

Speaker 1 Because I know that you're willing to pay $300. $300.
I'll pay $300. Final offer.

Speaker 4 Cash right now. $600.
I'll throw the fourth in.

Speaker 1 Nope. Fourth is barely a nipple.
I know.

Speaker 4 Barely. I got to make sure that you want it.

Speaker 1 Okay. I will buy that.
My final offer, $300. The nice thing about being able to name everything in the world with your naming rights is I can walk away from any negotiation because, guess what, PFT?

Speaker 1 There'll be another third nipple somewhere down the line. Maybe.
That I can buy.

Speaker 4 Maybe. It's going to cost.
If you try to bring it to a big boy like Andy Ruiz, whose third nipple is like the size of the moon, then it's going to be a lot more expensive.

Speaker 4 Tell you what, I'm going to take your offer to market. If anybody else out there would like to buy naming rights to my third nipple, great.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to Mark Cuban.

Speaker 1 We should have tried to fucking do this with Mark Cuban, just buy naming rights to all his shit in his house. Although he probably would have done it, but he would have because he loves cash.

Speaker 4 He also doesn't need the money. But cash is king.

Speaker 1 You always could get more money.

Speaker 4 It's true. We're liquid.

Speaker 3 Wow. I just, another breaking news I just saw.

Speaker 3 Kenny Chesney postponed his tour. Guess what it was called?

Speaker 1 The correct.

Speaker 1 The big cat. You can buy this tour for $300.

Speaker 3 TFT.

Speaker 4 I wear a giant hat because I'm ugly.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 3 Chillaxification tour.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Wait, why can't you do the chillaxification tour? Just do it a couch tour.

Speaker 4 Chillaxification would have been so money.

Speaker 1 Man. What even is the.

Speaker 1 It's chill, relax,

Speaker 1 chillax, and then

Speaker 1 gratification, pacification, vacation. Vacation.

Speaker 4 But that's not the ifocation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where's the ifocation? I think what if

Speaker 1 the pontification?

Speaker 4 What does pontification mean? Talking a lot?

Speaker 1 Speaking of things.

Speaker 1 I don't think he knows what that is.

Speaker 4 Chalaxification.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he knows what that is. Chalaxification.

Speaker 4 Kenny Chesney is a guy that just names shit after he's like how you're Googling it.

Speaker 1 Things that he sees on bumper stickers.

Speaker 1 Well, what does it stand for?

Speaker 1 What does chalaxification stand for? What's the last thing?

Speaker 3 Chill relax

Speaker 1 if on vacation. If vacation.

Speaker 1 What we got to get to the end of the.

Speaker 4 I'm going to Google just

Speaker 3 everyone tell Kenny to come on.

Speaker 4 Simplification?

Speaker 1 What is the name?

Speaker 4 Iffication. What are some other prefixes for if I cation? I'm looking that up right now.

Speaker 1 What is this? Iffication. Kenny, Chessey, you've derailed part of my tape.
Iffocation. Sorry.

Speaker 4 Words with effication in it.

Speaker 1 Does chalaxy

Speaker 4 root. Indemnification, personification, desertification, exemplification, commodification, Frenchification,

Speaker 4 syllabific, fuck this. Falsification, nullification, nullification.
He knew it was going to be canceled the whole time.

Speaker 1 Nullification. I like that.

Speaker 1 What does it mean?

Speaker 4 Utification. Intensification.

Speaker 1 chalaxify is that

Speaker 4 yeah, I think it might be chalaxify

Speaker 1 a word that doesn't that doesn't exist

Speaker 4 into a word that doesn't exist it's a process of chalaxifying something

Speaker 4 so the show is gonna be

Speaker 4 a two-hour experience of chilifying

Speaker 1 This is gonna drive me nuts. I'm just gonna tweet it.
What is the what does the ification stand for? Okay, and hopefully by the end of the show we'll get an answer Gentrification.

Speaker 1 Kenny Chesney is going to make sure that every neighborhood he goes to is gentrified. He's probably going to do that anyways.
Chalaxification tour. Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Now I didn't know I needed that, but now I need it. Like, that's the part that really sucks, you know?

Speaker 1 Like, what?

Speaker 1 Who knew that he needed a chalaxification tour until right now?

Speaker 4 Magnification?

Speaker 4 Getting a closer look at him?

Speaker 4 There's.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm tweeting it. We'll find out.
What does, what should I say, what does the if-a-ify

Speaker 1 stand for

Speaker 1 in chalaxification? If this is obvious, I'm going to be so mad about it.

Speaker 4 I mean, I'm looking at a huge list right now of if I cations, and I'm not seeing a single one that could possibly work. Diversification?

Speaker 3 I regret everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is terrible.

Speaker 1 It's chill.

Speaker 3 There's just going to be a quick little chuckle.

Speaker 1 Relax and vacation.

Speaker 1 What the fuck does the IFA mean?

Speaker 4 Humidification?

Speaker 4 You just have a shitload of those cooling fans?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. I've tweeted it.
Let's get on. Mark Cuban.
I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 6 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
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Speaker 6 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, here is Mark Cuban.

Speaker 1 Three, two, one.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 7 Let me see that office chair. Eat some cookies.
I got a cookie all over my teeth.

Speaker 1 Let me see that office chair.

Speaker 1 Let me see the office chair. What the hell? You got to have a nicer office chair than that.

Speaker 7 Comfy, baby. Comfy.

Speaker 1 Comfy. Okay, all right.
Let's just get into it. So it's

Speaker 1 we're welcoming on our good friend, recurring guest, Mark Cuban. Season 11 finale of Shark Tank is Friday night.
So it's tonight when we air this. We're going to air it on Friday.

Speaker 1 I was just asking, come on, that desk chair you have looks like your mid-level accountant, which is not bad, but you have to have like the big boss chair, the intimidating boss chair that you swivel around in.

Speaker 7 Yo, swag comes from who I am, not what I wear, not what my chair is. When you got it, you got it.
I don't have to worry about that stuff. I'm just comfortable.

Speaker 1 Is that ergonomic or what?

Speaker 7 Yeah, it is kind of actually.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 7 It's actually really comfy.

Speaker 1 Okay. So it's great to have you on.
I think we have a bunch of different things we want to get to, but let's start with the NBA. You've been very outspoken.

Speaker 1 Where, as we're sitting here right now, where are you guys at in terms of the dialogue with the league and the players as an owner? Are we going to come back?

Speaker 7 I hope so. You know, we're trying to figure out the safety side of it because that's the most important thing, right? And so I think we've got some ideas, but testing is key.

Speaker 7 And, you know, there's not enough testing for the freaking White House, you know, and it's just hard to get the right kind of tests and make sure they're accurate. And so that's the first step.

Speaker 7 But once we figure that out and the scientists tell us what to do, then I think we can, you know, take that Hotel California approach where we get one big hotel, quarantine everybody in there, you know, and then kind of like Big Brother, when you're eliminated, you leave.

Speaker 7 And then the last team standing in the hotel wins the championship.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 4 Is there any talk about also keeping it like a reality show where you have cameras behind the scenes in the hotel? So it's like a twofer?

Speaker 1 absolutely you know but that's a cool idea man big brother nba yes you know

Speaker 7 i can see that so how does that work with testing you have to test what every 24 hours or every 48 hours what have you heard well if we go hotel california once you go in you never leave right and so you stay there until you're eliminated and maybe you have family whatever but to get into the quarantine environment this is just the way i'm visualizing it this is not what the league has told us specifically um but once you you get tested once you get there and if you're good, you go in and you know, let's just say it's in Vegas.

Speaker 7 There's nowhere to go in Vegas right now. So you just stay there.
It'll be in a big resort-like hotel and you just chill. And then you play your games.

Speaker 7 If you're eliminated in the regular season, you go home.

Speaker 7 If you're in the playoffs, you play until you're done, you know, and that's the way it'll work.

Speaker 4 Okay, so real quick, it sounds like what you just said was not, we're not jumping to the playoffs immediately. We're going to finish out some of the regular season games.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I would think so, right? That's my hope, right? That's what I've been supporting.

Speaker 7 It's It's kind of like, you know, from the last dance, you know how when Michael Jordan came back, he played 20 games and he said he didn't have his legs for the playoffs, you know?

Speaker 7 And so we're going to have to play some games because if you just throw the guys in the playoffs, that's going to be brutal physically.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what point in the calendar would you say goodbye to this season? Because that's what I keep thinking about.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so let's just assume that we don't start next season till Christmas Day.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 So if we work backwards from there considering everything's kind of funky let's just say we'd have to have you know 60 days right so november october so we'd have to really and then a training camp

Speaker 7 so we'd have to be done by mid-september let's say

Speaker 7 and so you know remember the old ad for for tnt 40 games and 40 nights yep you know so you'd need those 40 nights plus the finals so you know three months so august you know so if we start july August, September, if we start sometime in July, we might be able to make it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's where I keep thinking of like what at what point in the calendar.

Speaker 1 Now, if we do, if the NBA comes back and, like you said, starts Christmas Day, do you think this is something that will be going forward? We can start Christmas Day?

Speaker 1 Because I've always thought that's when the NBA should start. People don't have the bandwidth to watch NBA first five games of the season when NFL football is going on.
So

Speaker 1 are you in? I'm right there with you. Okay.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 I've been saying that for 15 years. And the reason I've been getting shot down is there's this thing called H-U-T, households using television.
And during the summer, that drops, right?

Speaker 7 A lot fewer people are watching television because they can be outside. And in the past, that was a big deal.
So you wanted to end by June when you could maximize people watching TV.

Speaker 7 But as you guys know, as well as anybody, TV's changed. TV's changed a lot.
And so we're going to have a lot more options and a lot more flexibility to start later and end later. And I agree with you.

Speaker 7 Rather than taking on football, you know, with our first early games, let's let them get close to playoffs and just go wholeheartedly starting Christmas Day.

Speaker 4 I'm interested in hearing your perspective on how to kind of renegotiate things once the league gets back going because we're seeing it in baseball that the owners are saying, okay, we're not going to do the whole pro-rated thing.

Speaker 4 We're going to do a rev share essentially and put a soft cap in baseball. From the NBA perspective, obviously, if you guys come back, you're going to be one of the only games in town.

Speaker 4 So I would imagine that TV rights are going to go way up.

Speaker 4 Are you going to renegotiate TV rights or are you going to talk to players and try to figure out a different split, given the fact that you're not going to be making money off ticket sales?

Speaker 7 I mean, we have a collective bargaining agreement in place, so I'm guessing we stick to that. But I'm not on that committee.

Speaker 7 They keep me out of there because I raised too much hell last time I was on there. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know specifically, and I haven't heard anything about that.
But, you know,

Speaker 7 I'm guessing we'll stick with what we've got, but who knows?

Speaker 1 Has this entire experience with the pandemic made you think like maybe I actually am going to run for president?

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, I kind of run it. I'm running out of time and my family's still against it.
So that's been a mess, but it's been so crazy, right? You just.

Speaker 7 I can never say never. You guys have known me for a long time, man.
I'm always an entrepreneur. I'm always keeping the doors open.

Speaker 7 Just like you guys, you guys took from being your beat up and turning it around and turning it into something big and special. You know, that's what I try to do.

Speaker 7 And so, you know, if the door opens because something crazy happens, maybe, but it's a long, long, long shot.

Speaker 1 Okay, so breaking news, Mark Cuban going to run for president. Maybe.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 We're taking two clips from this interview, and it's never say never and then maybe. Maybe.
So that sounds 50-50 to me.

Speaker 7 It's going to be the PMT plat. It's going to be the PMT.

Speaker 7 the PMT platform. Yes.
That's what it's going to be.

Speaker 1 Yes, we got you. We will be your

Speaker 1 in your cabinet.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'll manage your campaign.

Speaker 1 What was that? Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Flood?

Speaker 1 And the labor alert. Yeah, that was the government being like, Cubans talking about running for president again.
Yeah. Fucking zap his phone.

Speaker 1 There's this black helicopter outside.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they're bugging your internet history.

Speaker 4 You have been in the news recently for talking about like, okay, here's your perspective on what America needs right now in terms of immediate stimulus, all that stuff.

Speaker 4 Have you been active in those conversations? Have you been talking to to people at different levels of the government?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, I talked to folks in the White House.

Speaker 7 To the president's credit, they put me on this committee to open things back up and they assigned me a guy who's a liaison who's been really good and really responsive.

Speaker 7 So I'm talking to him almost every day, either via email, text, or phone. And so they've been taking my ideas.
They haven't put any to work yet, but they've been listening.

Speaker 4 What's your idea? What's one thing that you would implement right now if Mark Cuban was president?

Speaker 7 So a couple things. One, you know, when we've, when this thing first hit, or we really, you know, when the the NBA closed down, we knew we had a problem, right?

Speaker 7 And so they put together this thing called the PPP, the CARES Act, the stimulus program, and it was a great plan.

Speaker 7 And if it would have hit right away, April 1st, like they had hoped, we'd be in a little different position because more people would have been able to stay with their companies and all that.

Speaker 7 But that's not where we're at. Because we got all this stay-at-home that's extended longer than we expected.
It's going to take more. So right now, I think we need a stimulus program to create demand.

Speaker 7 And so one, I think we need a federal jobs program. We need to hire people because look, we've got 33 million unemployed, another 20 underemployed.

Speaker 7 The government needs to hire people to do tracking and tracing and testing and to help people who have pre-existing conditions or are elderly, can't leave the house and need to be protected.

Speaker 7 We need people who can do all those jobs and the government should be the ones hiring them now so that they can start doing these things that we need and that reduces unemployment.

Speaker 7 And then on top of that, you know, just

Speaker 7 kind of the idea that folks have had is that we'll just keep on doing the same stimulus for small business, right? The PPP loans, and we'll keep on extending that.

Speaker 7 But I don't think that's going to work because that kind of creates zombie businesses. You know, here's money to keep your employees hired, but they don't have anything to do.

Speaker 7 That's not productive and doesn't get you anywhere.

Speaker 7 Honestly, I'd rather see us take, they have this thing for Social Security recipients called Direct Express, where they just auto-deposit money in your account.

Speaker 7 I'd rather give everybody something like that and say, you know what, bro, you have to spend $1,000 within two weeks. And if you don't spend it, you lose it.

Speaker 7 And that way you're going to get people spending money. That way you're going to have business coming into small and large businesses.
And when you have that demand, they need their workers to work.

Speaker 7 That keeps people employed. And then, if that's not enough, that that doesn't jumpstart it, then you do it again in two weeks.
And then you do it again.

Speaker 7 But, you know, if there's 150 million households and we gave them all a thousand bucks every two weeks, that's $150 billion every two weeks, $300 million a a month.

Speaker 7 And that we could go six months compared to what we've already tried. So I'd rather see something that stimulates demand if I, if that's part of my, if you guys approve, right?

Speaker 7 Because it's got to be part of the PMT platform.

Speaker 1 Right. And we could actually just, you know, dumb that down and be like, hey, you guys remember the movie Brewster's Millions? We're just going to do that.
Bingo. That's exactly right.
Done. Okay.

Speaker 1 So I also had, I need your,

Speaker 1 I need you to agree on an idea that I had to start the pandemic because you are someone in a position of power who can get this done. We have to learn from this pandemic.

Speaker 1 We can't be naive and think, like, oh, this could never happen again.

Speaker 1 So, my idea is: every single sports franchise needs to, every single year, play a game that is secretly taped that we do not know the result of, and then save it in case of something like this happening again.

Speaker 1 Because, could you imagine if we had even your

Speaker 1 NBA champion Mavs from that season playing a game against the heat in you know what I mean like an extra game in the finals and we broadcast it and it's like boom you don't know what's gonna happen you can bet on it you can do everything we need that done okay done and done man the secret tapes yes nba this

Speaker 1 every sport every sport so i'm holding you to that so next year i need you to it could even be an it could be like a very competitive inner squad scrimmage where you know like everyone you're keeping score and it's a real game.

Speaker 1 That would be fine. I would take that.

Speaker 7 I agree, man.

Speaker 7 You could take like the your two-way players and the last three guys, four guys on the bench, throw them into kind of an early game, like you used to have the JV before the varsities, yeah, throw them into an early game, kind of like the G League games, and just hold it.

Speaker 7 Yes, not tell anybody. Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, absolutely. Oh, come on.
Just something.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just give us something.

Speaker 7 Have you added that to the BMT platform?

Speaker 4 I think this is a winning ticket. Yes.
Like right away. Who's saying no to any of this?

Speaker 4 If you're doing these games in Vegas, have you given any thought? Because we thought about this during the NCAA tournament that almost happened, but it didn't.

Speaker 4 If you just had one fan, one celebrity fan from each team sitting in the stands, like on opposite sides of each other.

Speaker 1 So at least

Speaker 1 you get somebody there.

Speaker 7 That's actually a great idea, right? And just like auction it for charity or whatever, but just to have like. If we played the Knicks, Spike Lee, right? And maybe Jamie Fox from Dallas, right?

Speaker 7 Whoever.

Speaker 7 I love that idea. Add that to the PMT platform.

Speaker 4 Or just Drake for every team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or you can be there for the Mavs, but you have to wear the like super baggy jeans you used to wear in the Mavs football jersey. Throwback.

Speaker 7 I might have some of those back in the day because I keep everything.

Speaker 1 See, if we had the old tapes, we would be watching not only like a Mavs game from 2006, but we would be watching you and your fashion from then. It would be incredible.
It'd be incredible.

Speaker 7 Including my and one slip-on shoes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hell yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I saw in the news that you had a brush with, I'm sure you've had more than one brush, but a brush with Michael Jordan when he was deciding to go to the Wizards, play, get ownership.

Speaker 1 What was that conversation like? Because you were trying to get him to come to the Mavs, right?

Speaker 7 Yeah. So David Falk, his agent, called me up.
I mean, he's an agent, right? He wants to get to know a new owner.

Speaker 7 And he's like, why don't you come to DC and come to my office and Michael Jordan, meet Michael Jordan? And I'm like, yeah, of course. You know, are you kidding me?

Speaker 7 And so I get there and he's got all these papers spread out. And he starts telling me about how he's going to the wizards.
I'm like, don't sign it. Don't sign it.

Speaker 7 And I tried to give him that last minute bitch, you know, and

Speaker 7 he wouldn't go for it. He's like, look, Mark, I really appreciate it.
But I gave my word and I'm a man of my word. And so to his credit, he signed, but it was still the biggest mistake of his career.

Speaker 4 That would have been awesome if he had gone to Dallas. Have you been watching watching the documentary, The Last Dance?

Speaker 7 Oh, hell yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 4 So I was actually curious to talk to you about this because when they had the Bulls together in the 90s, there was a very, very big problem that they had with who wanted more credit for winning these titles, right?

Speaker 4 You saw it with Krauss. You saw it with

Speaker 4 Ryan's Dorf. You saw it with Jordan Pippen.
When you had a successful Mavericks team, when you guys won the NBA title, was it 2011?

Speaker 4 How did you handle that? Was there a part of you that was like, I want credit for being the guy, the cubes that turned this entire franchise?

Speaker 7 No, man, I was happy for Dirk. I was happy for Jay Kidd, for Sean Marion, and

Speaker 7 Trix.

Speaker 7 Who else we'd have? Tyson Chandler, you know, Deshaun, all the guys, man. It was their trophy.
Yes, Coron. And even when, like, even when you had that

Speaker 7 trophy handing over ceremony where the Commissioner Stern gives you the trophy, I had him give it to the original owner of the Mavs, Don Carter. Rest in peace, Mr.
C.

Speaker 7 And so I didn't care about the credit, man. I just wanted to drink the beer and and party and carry that mother, carry that sucker around.

Speaker 1 Motherfucker.

Speaker 7 And actually, you can't see it, but Larry O'Brien is right over there behind my desk.

Speaker 1 Nice, nice.

Speaker 1 So when you, have you ever, you know, you had your, the MBA, you bought the team. David Stern was still the commissioner.
Rest in peace. Did you ever ask him on the side?

Speaker 1 Because this is obviously the conspiracy theory everyone's talking about. What happened with MJ in his retirement? Did you ever have that conversation with him? Yes.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 But he wouldn't tell me.

Speaker 1 He was like, there's nothing.

Speaker 7 He's like, shut up. Don't be stupid.
There's nothing.

Speaker 4 Did you ask him about the Ewing, the frozen envelope for Patrick Ewing?

Speaker 7 Did not.

Speaker 7 But you guys want to hear another Michael Jordan story? This is the first time I got to really hang out with Michael. And so it was

Speaker 7 a golf tournament in

Speaker 7 Reno.

Speaker 7 And I'd never been to Reno. And so Charles Barkley says, okay, we're going down to play Blackjack.
So come on down. And it was the craziest moment.

Speaker 7 So there's Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, Pete Sampris, Mary Lemieux, and me at this blackjack table. And I pull out a hundred bucks, you know, because I'm like, I didn't bring money, cut it up.

Speaker 7 And Jordan looks at me, he goes, What the fuck? He goes, You can't play $100 at this table because he's playing like 10 grand and Barkley's playing like five grand. And he goes,

Speaker 7 goes to the

Speaker 7 casino guy. He goes, Mr.
Cuban, give Mr. Cuban a million dollar line of credit.
The casino guy goes, Mr. Cuban, would you like a million dollar line of credit? I'm like,

Speaker 1 sure.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. Oh my God.

Speaker 7 Bam, I got in there. And, you know, I played a thousand bucks a hand, which was like the most I'd ever played at that point.
And I mean, it was a blast. And then we ended up with Charles Barkley.

Speaker 7 We went to, with all the guys, actually, we went to this party they had.

Speaker 7 And Charles literally bought 50 bottles of tequila and was handing them them out in front of this D oh my god one of the best party nights ever incredible did how did MJ do it blackjack was he uh a buy the book player yeah no he played he played normal strategy every now and then he deferred but um he played two hands so he was playing like 25 grand and 25 grand so he got actually he wanted to play two hands and we didn't have the slot so he left our table went to the one next door and I'm watching him going oh my god these guys were hardcore they were really into it yeah yeah was he wearing his jeans that night the big baggy ones?

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 He wasn't wearing a suit. Yeah, I don't remember what he was wearing.

Speaker 7 I don't remember what I was wearing either, but it was probably the big baggy jeans.

Speaker 4 That is a squad.

Speaker 4 Were you up that night? Did you win?

Speaker 7 Yeah, but like two grand or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 4 How does that work when you get a million dollar line of credit at a casino? Did you feel like you were actually playing with house money at that point?

Speaker 7 No, no, no. I knew I'd have to pay a pack.
It wasn't like that at all, man. Because they make you sign this little thing that

Speaker 7 says you know no matter what here's the money here's your five thousand or ten thousand whenever i got to start here's your buy-in and you owe us this money and oh by the way we will hunt you down if you don't pay it and so yeah it wasn't like it was house money it was my money and i knew it whether i'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate boarshead is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself Their platters are a hit every time.

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Speaker 4 And now,

Speaker 1 back

Speaker 1 to Mark Cuban.

Speaker 4 I'm always curious, do you and Jerry Jones ever talk? Just like talk shop owner to owner?

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Has he asked you for advice on what to do with Dak?

Speaker 7 The only time we've talked shopped like that was,

Speaker 7 golly, who was the coach?

Speaker 7 Oh, the guy who was the defensive coach

Speaker 7 went to Buffalo.

Speaker 1 Wade.

Speaker 7 Wade, yeah.

Speaker 7 Wade Phillips. That was the only time.
And I actually called him. He didn't call me because I had just gone through some things with my coach.
And I just said, you know what? Here's what I found out.

Speaker 7 You know, you can use it or not use it. And, you know, we never really talked about it after that.
But Jerry and I have stayed friends. I mean, I like the guy.

Speaker 1 Do you have season tickets to the Cowboys?

Speaker 7 Yeah, absolutely. I've got a suite.

Speaker 1 Okay, nice.

Speaker 1 We'll go to that.

Speaker 1 Whenever you want us to come down anytime.

Speaker 7 As soon as we can have people in the suite, yeah, you got it.

Speaker 4 We'll be like your version of Chris Christie hanging out in Jerry Jones' suite.

Speaker 7 Bring it. I'd rather have you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, thanks for the invite.

Speaker 4 Appreciate that. I won't wear baseball.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So,

Speaker 7 we got to discuss our political platforms. You guys have to be.
Where else are we going to have our meetings? You can't, you know, you got to have them at a game.

Speaker 4 Kick ass and take names. That's the Cuban 2020 platform.

Speaker 1 Dessert cart for everyone. Boom.
Like, wait, did you guys come up with this platform when you were in a suite? Yeah, we did.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. So, so, season 11 finale of Shark Tank is tonight.

Speaker 1 What was your favorite investment from this season?

Speaker 7 Okay,

Speaker 7 there's this,

Speaker 7 oh my God, what the snack can snacklins. Okay, so you know, I'm always looking for new good ways to eat junk, right?

Speaker 7 So there's this thing called snacklins, which are the best dippers ever in the history of the world. They're like, they're crunchy and they're scoopy shaped and you can just scoop in anything, right?

Speaker 7 Whatever dip you got, right? And they're amazing. They taste good, all these different flavors.
And they're only like 80 calories.

Speaker 7 So I literally buy these things by the box and they've just blown up with everybody staying at home, everybody just watching Netflix and eating all the nonsense we love to eat, right?

Speaker 7 That's been my favorite by far. And it's not even

Speaker 7 one other one that's close is this thing called Unreal Deli. It's like I went vegetarian, and so I love corned beef.
I got to have my Reubens, right? And so this thing called Unreal Deli is amazing.

Speaker 4 I like the idea of the snacklins. It's like a spoon that you can eat.

Speaker 1 We actually have a lot of people.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we have this spoon, right?

Speaker 4 We got a great spokesperson, I think, for Snacklands, and she is electric. She's guaranteed to get impressions on social media.
The snacking girl. Oh, yeah, the snack girl.

Speaker 4 You should hire the snacking girl to do your jingle for you.

Speaker 1 Have you seen it?

Speaker 7 You guys do no wrong. You guys can get nothing wrong.
I'm down. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're regretting never investing in my brain the way we're talking right now.

Speaker 7 You know what?

Speaker 7 I kind of am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. You would have had a great ROI.
I just remembered this. So it's been so long since sports have been around, and it feels like the last two months have been a year.

Speaker 1 When the NBA season first got suspended, there was a clip of you finding out on your phone and then showing everyone on the court. How thrilling was that moment?

Speaker 7 It was brutal, man. I was like freaked out.
I was stunned. But you know what, you know, when something crazy happens, you got to tell everybody, right? Yes.
And so I'm like, why?

Speaker 7 You know, it was wild. I mean, because we had talked about it in the locker room beforehand, and even Luca had asked me, what's the chances of the season getting suspended or canceled?

Speaker 7 And I'm like, five, ten percent. I don't see it happening.

Speaker 7 And then that was before the game. And I walked out.

Speaker 7 I remember telling Michael Finley, like, I walk out from through the tunnel and I had no idea how many people would be in the stance, you know, because there could have been, you know, half the crowd, right, or 10 people there.

Speaker 7 It was packed. And I'm thinking, well, you know, maybe this thing isn't as bad.
And these folks know more than I do.

Speaker 7 And then third quarter, and you knew something crazy was going to happen because Bobon had the game of his life. You know, Bobon put up 31 and 15.

Speaker 7 And so it was just a crazy night. But yeah, when that, when that thing hit me, I was stunned.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's, I mean, obviously, it's terrible news, but it's, it is thrilling to be able to tell everyone news that they don't know.

Speaker 7 You got to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 Have you been in touch with your players and like gauging what they feel about coming back?

Speaker 7 Yeah, we have a group chat. And so everybody's throwing up dumb stuff on there, but every now and then there's a real question.

Speaker 7 And we'll have another, we'll have a Zoom again with all the guys, I think, in a couple of days. And everybody's just ready to come back, man.
They're bored. Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know, they want to start working out. They want to, you know, get back into it.
You know, they're basketball players. They're athletes.

Speaker 7 They don't want an offseason. They want to play.

Speaker 4 Who's the most active on that group chat?

Speaker 7 Courtney Lee.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Is he a big gift guy?

Speaker 7 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Gifts and videos videos and just crazy stuff. You know, I love it, man.
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 Do you, how much do you think goes on on the group chat that they don't have you on?

Speaker 7 Oh, all the shit that gifts really talk.

Speaker 7 They put the goofy stuff in the one-up, man. Yeah, I'm not stupid, man.
I already know. Okay.
I already know, but that's okay. I get enough of the spillover that it's okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fair.

Speaker 4 Wait, wait, if they do the league in Vegas, are you going to go to the quarantine islands at the Hotel California? Absolutely. So you're going to quarantine yourself along with the team.

Speaker 4 Do you think that other owners are going to do that?

Speaker 7 Do I care?

Speaker 4 Hmm. Probably not.

Speaker 1 You guys should have, we should have owners wrestle too.

Speaker 1 There ain't no white who'll put on an MMA. He'll do anything.

Speaker 4 There should be a separate wing for just the owners, like owner house. Yeah.

Speaker 7 They try to do that during All-Star, and that doesn't work. But hey, just Google me and

Speaker 7 WWE. I know.
You'll see how I get it done.

Speaker 1 Yes, I know. I know.
How many companies are you up to now? Because last time we talked to you,

Speaker 1 one of your lines was like i got a company for this i got a company for that how many do you have right now

Speaker 7 i think it's like 210.

Speaker 1 whoo damn sheesh you ever think about just giving like a random person on twitter one of them

Speaker 7 no no because i feel guilty like you know it it's that's a lot of work okay

Speaker 1 what about a random podcaster

Speaker 1 what do you got tell me but tell me a company that that needs some uh a kick in the ass by us we'll take it all right we'll we'll shape it up.

Speaker 1 We'll live stream it. We'll do a video.
You can own the video.

Speaker 7 Let's go with snacklins. Let's go with snacklins.
I'll just send you just boxes and boxes of snacklins. You'll have snacklins everywhere.
We'll send you some dip, whatever you want.

Speaker 1 Snacklins.

Speaker 4 Dog, we can do that.

Speaker 1 We can get just snacklins.

Speaker 4 Get fed. Because we're trying to do this thing where me and Hank get up to 200 pounds and Big Cat gets down to 200 pounds.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or meat in the middle.

Speaker 4 So if I eat enough snacklins and Big Cat eats just like a sensible amount of

Speaker 4 snacklins, then it's perfect

Speaker 7 no big cat if you want to lose some weight yeah let me just tell you i've got this um company alyssa's healthy cookies you can get them on um amazon but i'll send you a bunch that's my breakfast every morning

Speaker 1 sweet and they have that's why i was you know i was doing the water to get them out of my cookies that's what i was eating whenever i have a sweet fix these things are high protein high fiber low carb i've had these before i actually am looking at right now they are good they are very good not to give you any more plugs that you know help you out but they are good i have had them before No, let me just tell you,

Speaker 7 let me tell you the story on this guy. So this guy, Doug, emails me this cookie and it's like, it's good.
I like it, but it just needs to make some changes.

Speaker 7 But the better part is the dude's living in his car with his wife and daughter, just stuck. And he's like,

Speaker 7 I can't get this to go. I live in Florida.
You know, what do you think you can do to help me? I'm like, okay, look. I think I can help you because the cookie tastes great, but it falls apart.

Speaker 7 Let me find a better way to do it. And so I invested and got 40% of the company living out of his car.
I did a couple sampling sessions at local

Speaker 7 grocery stores here. And that was in 2012.

Speaker 7 This past year, 2019, they did almost $20 million in business and he made $10 million in profits. I mean, from living in his car, that's how good the product is.

Speaker 7 And we don't spend anything on advertising. It's just an incredible product.

Speaker 1 You actually, now that I'm I'm remembering it, I'm looking it up. You sent them to me, you sent them to me like two or three years ago, or someone from your office,

Speaker 1 yes, someone from your office sent it because I was like, Why do I recognize those cookies?

Speaker 1 Yes, they are delicious, and I really would say any cookie is delicious, but they were delicious, but they're delicious and healthy.

Speaker 7 That's the thing, right? Right. Alyssa's healthy cookies.

Speaker 4 I love that they got a cookie and they go, you know, who would love this? You know, who loves cookies?

Speaker 1 Seriously, someone from his office hit me up and was like, We got a hoverboard and cookies. You want them? And I I'm like, yo.

Speaker 1 The hoverboard bits, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 Do you know how much you're worth right now?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 4 I would like always Google myself and my net worth if I were you.

Speaker 1 Nah, just guess. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Guess. I did.
I used to. I'm not going to lie.
I used to have a thing in my wallet that had my net worth.

Speaker 7 So I'd look to see what was in the bank and add it all up in a spreadsheet and all that, but not anymore.

Speaker 4 Just take a guess.

Speaker 7 You know, it just depends on what you value the maps at. Right now, you don't know.
We're shut down.

Speaker 4 Just Google, what google.com says.

Speaker 7 Oh, I don't know. Four point something?

Speaker 4 Yeah, 4.3.

Speaker 1 That's pretty close. Yeah, nice.

Speaker 4 If I had said three, you would have been like, fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 No, man. It's like Forbes always asked me, you know, is this correct? You know, we're doing the Forbes 400.
Like, I don't care. But the first year, I did care.

Speaker 7 The first year, I was like, no, this isn't right. This isn't right.
And then I got on there and that was cool enough. And so it was like, nah.

Speaker 1 All right. I got one last question for you.

Speaker 1 i've been very curious about this and i know that the nba is on the forefront of sports gambling and trying to get ahead of it do you think that there will be states coming out of this pandemic who are like we need to get some more revenue going do you think the gambling legalization will kind of hit like a supercharge here in the next year or so and more states will see it happen 100 absolutely and absolutely they need the tax revenue right and are you gonna are you uh like the minute you can get one inside the arena, are you in for it?

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. I mean, look what's going on with the Wizards.
You know, the Ted Leonis is just all about it, man.

Speaker 7 They've done a great job figuring out how to integrate it and make it fun and entertaining and get more fans. And yeah, absolutely all in.

Speaker 4 I love that. That'd be such a good addition to a game.
We're like, in between quarters, you can just go out and put a live bet on the game. That's sweet.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. All the prop bets and everything.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, it'd be insane.

Speaker 4 Yes. It'd be nuts.
Yes. My last question.
There are two different organizations near and dear to my heart that am not athletic enough to actually play in that have come up for sale recently.

Speaker 4 I want to know if you've given any thought to either one of them. The XFL declared bankruptcy.
So they're coming up for sale. And USA Rugby also declared bankruptcy.

Speaker 7 Okay, so

Speaker 7 XFL reached out to me. Two different groups reached out to me.

Speaker 7 It's just too much. I've got too much to deal with with the Mavs, right? So I can't get into that at all.

Speaker 7 USA Rugby is different, man, because, you know, it's something closer to my heart as opposed to football and i just got to get through this first i mean with all those companies right trying to help everybody trying to figure out how to get the mavs back in gear i just got too much shit going on just to take on something new that would be important to me because what nothing worse than saying okay usa rugby let's do this and get it done and then not be available to help them so you know i kind of told them it's not out of the question and i'm doing this other little thing for them um so yeah if i can help them i will i'm just i just don't have time to deal with it right now okay but not a no That was again, not a no.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Hey, I got two rugby balls over there.

Speaker 7 So if you ever want, when you guys come and we go to a map, when we go to a Mavs game or a Cowboys game in the suite, we'll bring the rugby ball and we'll toss it around in the suite and show them what a real sport's all about.

Speaker 7 I love it.

Speaker 1 I actually have one last, last, last question.

Speaker 1 Wait, I was going to fuck. What was it?

Speaker 4 Ask him how horny Barbara is on set.

Speaker 1 No, we know horny

Speaker 1 loves us. Barbara,

Speaker 1 you can imagine. It is

Speaker 4 crazy. She was draped all over me like a nightshade.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, she was great, wasn't she yes yes she all right i remembered it i remembered it do you uh indiana guys i would assume that you talk every now and then to isaiah thomas is that a fair assumption have you talked to him at all about what uh we've watched in the last dance no i have not because i don't want to be that guy that's just oh tell me what happened just like i didn't reach out to mj you got to give it some time and then when i see him when we all get back together yeah i'll ask him yeah and i'll ask mj and i want to know like charles won't tell me about his deal with michael either they i mean they've had a falling out again so uh i hope they you know figure it out, but yeah, it's um, we've joked that I think half the reason why MJ did the documentary was to preserve his legacy, and half was to just shit on Isaiah Thomas.

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely,

Speaker 1 and it's great because it's grudges, you know.

Speaker 7 Oh, my God, and Michael holds him, man. I love him to death, man.
MJ's a good dude. When you just hang around him, you know, he's just fun to be around and he's got a good heart.

Speaker 7 But, yeah, when he's pissed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wait, when you're hanging with with michael jordan is he he's the alpha in the room right

Speaker 1 hell no oh

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 7 you're not the alpha does he let you think you're the alpha let's just put it this way let's just put this way when michael jordan bought the charlotte hornets they asked him who do you want what kind of owner did he want to be he said i want to be like mark cuban

Speaker 1 oh interesting I still think he's the alpha in the room.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he probably is.

Speaker 4 What move did you pull on Michael like the first time that you knew that you needed to alph him?

Speaker 4 I'm not talking like a friendship type hang that you were having, but like a business relationship type hang where you were like, I need to let him know whose nuts hang lower.

Speaker 7 Sean Brad. So he was with the Wizards, right? And we were playing the Wizards and he didn't like Sean Bradley as a player.

Speaker 7 And I'd said, I'm going to tell Sean Bradley and Sean Bradley's going to kick the Wizards' ass and we're going to beat your ass. And he was like, you know.
cursing his ass.

Speaker 7 So he's up in the suite and I'm down on the court and we just torch him. And the whole game, every time Sean Bradley scored a basket, I would just point up to him and give him shit.

Speaker 7 And so he knew, you know, and then, you know, we've done some deals and everything now and then.

Speaker 7 But yeah, Michael's a good dude, but he knows when it comes to business, now he's on my turf and he ain't got it.

Speaker 1 There's just no chance.

Speaker 4 He's going to make another documentary in 30 years about how he bankrupted.

Speaker 1 You know what? Bring it.

Speaker 1 All right, great.

Speaker 7 Let me just tell you, guys, let me just tell you. In basketball, you compete for 48 minutes.
You practice a couple hours. You guys know in business, it's 24 by by 7 by 365.

Speaker 7 And everybody's trying to kick your ass. Everybody's trying to come after you.
And you got to battle all the time.

Speaker 7 Sports are easy. Easy.
Business is the ultimate competition, right?

Speaker 1 Am I right? Yeah, no, you're right. You're right.

Speaker 4 What about you and Elon Musk? The two of you get into a room together. Who's the alpha?

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I don't know him well enough.

Speaker 7 But I give Elon respect, man. He's just all tunnel vision.

Speaker 7 You know, there's no people skills there that I've experienced with Elon.

Speaker 1 But I respect the hell out of him, right?

Speaker 7 Because he goes, Elon's like the only business guy or business person where he does something. I think, why the fuck did I think of that? Right.
The only one ever. So I give him his props.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fair.

Speaker 4 Tunnel vision. That's a good line.

Speaker 1 Mark Cuban, thank you so much. As always, season 11 finale, Shark Tank tonight.
There's nothing else on, so you got to watch it. You got to watch it.
I mean, come on.

Speaker 1 Shark Tank is the best and there's no live sports. So watch watch it tonight and bet on it, too.

Speaker 7 You can, I think you can bet on it someplaces, so bet on it.

Speaker 1 Perfect, perfect. Well, thank you, appreciate it, guys.
All right, thanks, man.

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Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushmore in our documentary review. We have some ideas, by the way.

Speaker 1 People are saying the IFA is Wi-Fi at the show.

Speaker 4 Oh, there was going to be Wi-Fi at the show.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Someone is saying it's

Speaker 1 chill, relax, infinite vacation.

Speaker 1 I like that. So if...

Speaker 4 No, that's still... It's not

Speaker 4 chillax infocation.

Speaker 4 It's chillaxification.

Speaker 1 And this one's probably the right one. The ifa would define the act of chillaxification of his tour, which we said.
Right, okay. So that makes sense.

Speaker 4 Trust the process.

Speaker 4 yeah i just chalaxification i'm so mad that this tour is not going to happen i know what the fuck i was looking at chalaxify it's drive me nuts we should do a part of a chalaxification episode of part of my take

Speaker 1 uh yeah we should do that instead of uh instead like every single i don't know every other wednesday besides dnd we just chalaxify okay well yeah we'll do a segment your chalaxification of the week

Speaker 1 uh okay let's do our mount flushmore then we'll finish up with ronnie coleman the king.

Speaker 1 Mount Flushmore of

Speaker 1 wait, is this no, this is a Mount Rushmore of life's little embarrassing moments? Yeah. That would be, right? Yep.
That would, it would be a Mount Rushmore, technically.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I go first. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore of life's little embarrassing moments.

Speaker 1 I'll just go with the old, faithful,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 introducing yourself to someone who you know,

Speaker 1 who you've met before, who you work with, and just being like, hey, how you doing? I'm Dan. And they're like, yeah, we've met.
Yep. That is horrible.

Speaker 4 I did that like a year ago. I was like, hey, what's up? I'm PFT.
And they're like, yeah, I know. We work together.
That person had been working here for like two weeks, hadn't met him yet.

Speaker 4 They're on the third floor.

Speaker 1 But it's bad.

Speaker 4 That was tough. That's why I always go with the tried and true.

Speaker 1 Good to see you. Yeah.
Hey, Chief. Hey, pal.
There you go.

Speaker 4 Or just introduce someone right next to you. Yeah, that's a great one, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or do the old, how do you spell your name again? And then they're like, it's J-O-E.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank.

Speaker 3 The subway, if you're in a line and the subway, your subway card's not working, and you're just standing there and it's scanning, and like there's someone behind you, and you're just like, I don't know why it's not scanning, but I have money on it.

Speaker 3 Similar, I mean, card chip reader is the same thing. It's like...

Speaker 3 For whatever reason, you're at the store and the card chip reader is just not reading.

Speaker 1 Dude, I did yesterday or two days ago when we were back in here. I parked my car in the lot and I went to pay, put the chip in, and it said, do not remove chip.

Speaker 1 And for some reason, my brain just stopped. And I just pulled it out.
Yeah, I do that. I was just like, sorry, dude.
You know, start the whole process. You know why?

Speaker 4 Because it says remove chip on there. Right.
And so sometimes you skip back. Also, I don't like being told what to do by a fucking machine.

Speaker 1 So, but then you just, it's a whole process. Okay, PFD year two.

Speaker 4 All right, my first two, just... A classic.
Tripping on the sidewalk in front of a bunch of strangers. Breaking your foot.
If you trip on the... well, I actually didn't really trip when that happened.

Speaker 4 I kept walking.

Speaker 1 Tripping is bad.

Speaker 4 But tripping in front of strangers is just, it's tough to come back to.

Speaker 1 Slipping on ice. Really bad.

Speaker 4 My second is going to be messing up a parallel park when there are people around.

Speaker 4 And you just know that everybody that's watching you is really fucking good at parallel parking. Yep.
And you're going back for like your second or third shot.

Speaker 1 It's tough. Yep.
Where would you rank? Our friend Brandon Walker, when he came to my neighborhood two weeks ago, couldn't parallel park his car, so I had to do it for him.

Speaker 4 That's a cucking. Yeah.
That's a parallel parking.

Speaker 1 And I got it on the first try.

Speaker 4 God damn it. Brutal.

Speaker 1 Brutal. Okay, Hank.

Speaker 4 I think you own his car.

Speaker 1 I do. I do, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you own his car.

Speaker 1 I do too.

Speaker 3 Oh, it is me.

Speaker 3 Having like your boss or someone that's like a superior to you or like a girl just be like, you have something on your face.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 You got something right there, Hank.

Speaker 1 Something right there.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's your beard. It's your big cat beard.
Presented by Barstool Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Yes. Love it.
Okay, that's a good one. I will go with the accidental reply-all an email or replying to someone you didn't mean to reply to.

Speaker 1 Cousins of the screenshot text and send to someone.

Speaker 4 You send the screenshot text to the person who's not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 That's way worse than the reply-all.

Speaker 3 That's a major embarrassment. That's not licensible embarrassment.
That's a license embarrassment.

Speaker 1 It's like technological screw-ups where you just send something to someone you're not supposed to send it to. So it's like, yeah, that is a major, major screw-up.

Speaker 4 I think Steve Jobs should actually get on that and there should be some sort of AI program where they can prevent that. You know how when you send an email.

Speaker 1 Tell Ellen and she can call them.

Speaker 4 Yeah, when you send an email out and it says, it says like you mentioned the word attachment in this email, but there's no attachment, there should be something on an iPhone that recognizes when you're sending a screenshot of that conversation to that conversation.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 All right. My next one is

Speaker 1 taking a huge shit in a public bathroom and then having someone walk in right after or standing like right outside of the bathroom.

Speaker 1 and you're like, Okay, like the unisex bathroom at a restaurant, and then there's like a hot woman standing there waiting, and you're like, Ah.

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, what restaurant of any class is a unisex?

Speaker 1 A lot of them, a lot of them, like the vast majority. You're like, Yeah, I don't think you've been in a nice restaurant before.
No, yeah.

Speaker 1 What? Like, a small, nice restaurant will just have two bathrooms.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, I guess a new, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they'll have singles. I'm not talking about stalls.
I'm talking about when you go into a single, it could be at work, it could be, you know, at a restaurant, and you just drop heat.

Speaker 1 And then the minute you walk out, there's someone just standing there, and you have that like moment where they know and you know, and you're just like, okay.

Speaker 3 I'm such an asshole, though, that like that doesn't embarrass me because I don't know the person.

Speaker 1 Oh, it embarrasses me so bad.

Speaker 4 I also like the thought that Hank has just assumed that he's been nailing it, going into the boys' bathroom every single time,

Speaker 4 not realizing that it was for anybody.

Speaker 1 It's, it's, it's a very, it has to be like very close quarters, and they can sense the heat coming from the bathroom before you even pass them.

Speaker 4 That's when it's the worst.

Speaker 3 Pulling a push door, easy, simple.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Yep. It is tough.
And there's a push door here that I pull every single time. We've been in this office for over a year.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've gotten it right once.

Speaker 3 And I get embarrassed every time. I have to turn around and make a joke at Ebony and be like, ha ha, yeah, classic.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 For my third one, I'm going to go with telling a TSA agent you too when they tell you to have a nice flight. Yep.

Speaker 1 Well, not TSA. The TSA people don't fucking say that.
There's too many. Or the woman who checks your bag.
Or the man who checks your bag.

Speaker 4 Or like the cab driver that drops you off at the airport.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. When you check your bags, you're like, have a great flight.

Speaker 4 Saying you too to somebody that tells you to have a great flight. That's not having a flight.

Speaker 1 Or when you go to a movie and they take your stub and they're like, enjoy the show. And you're like, you too.
You too.

Speaker 4 Boom.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, you'll just be standing right here.

Speaker 4 It's one of those things you take two steps and your body just feels hot. Shit.
And you're like, God damn, I screwed that up again.

Speaker 4 My last one. My last one.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 not being able to finish a meal.

Speaker 4 In company.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't know. Yeah.
That one I would never talk about.

Speaker 3 If I got embarrassed by that, I would live my life in a constant state of embarrassment.

Speaker 1 If I ever, once, ever in my entire life didn't finish my full meal, then I would maybe feel embarrassed. That's never happened.

Speaker 4 Absolutely at least one time not finished a meal. When you're not

Speaker 1 in your stomach, you have, Bitcoin,

Speaker 3 you're a cereal over-orderer and then not a meal finisher.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, no, no, but over-ordering and not finishing are not the same thing.

Speaker 1 Yes. No, they're not.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, no, no, no, no, no. It is different.

Speaker 4 I'm talking about you get an entree and you don't finish your entree.

Speaker 1 When I over-order, it is,

Speaker 1 I am saying to the world, yo, we're having one of everything. I don't plan on finishing all that.
That's a totally different, separate category.

Speaker 1 Where PFD is talking about, and I agree, when you have like one dinner,

Speaker 1 you have a piece of steak and a potato.

Speaker 4 Always finish it. What I'm referring to specifically is when the server comes over to clean your plate and takes it and says, Did you not like it? Or your eyes were bigger than your soul.

Speaker 1 Do you want a bag?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you want a bag? That's the story of my life.

Speaker 4 Being a grown man, getting asked if I need a bag to walk out of a restaurant so I can carry my food that my body wasn't able to process, that is as embarrassing as it gets for me.

Speaker 1 Hank, do you not like my over-ordering?

Speaker 3 No, I do. I was just thinking like you're like, it's never happened to me that I haven't finished a meal.
And I've thought back to many times when

Speaker 3 you leave a table where there's a lot of food left. Right.

Speaker 1 Totally different. But I think being overordering.

Speaker 3 I love your over-ordering because I'm a snacker. I'm not someone that gives a shit.
Like, I don't get embarrassed about leaving food on the table.

Speaker 1 I'd say.

Speaker 3 So when you overorder, I'm like, yes, because now I'm not going to get shamed for being the only person leaving food.

Speaker 3 So I enjoy your over-ordering, but. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like a top four asset that I have as a human being. And if we go out to dinner, I have no problem with being like, yo, let's get all the appetites.

Speaker 3 And even though I am a big time,

Speaker 3 my eyes are bigger than my stomach, but I like to snack on different apps. Correct.
And I know that if I was by myself, I couldn't order all the things because I can't even finish my entree.

Speaker 3 But in theory, you want all the apps. Sometimes I'll go with it.
So when I'm with you, it's nice because I'm like, I didn't have to say anything.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I order two entrees. That's king shit.

Speaker 3 On my last one, I will go

Speaker 3 when you're parachuting and you pull the parachute too early and you fall to your death.

Speaker 1 Classic. It's a little

Speaker 1 Call of Duty. Oh, okay.
I didn't get that FC. Also, real life.
Yeah. Yeah.
But really embarrassing in Call of Duty.

Speaker 3 Especially when people are watching you and you just know there's, you usually just blame the servers.

Speaker 1 Throwing interceptions.

Speaker 1 I just, yeah. Blame the servers.

Speaker 4 These are all real life moments when F should be going in the chat.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. This last one I have might be.

Speaker 1 I might be telling on myself. I don't know.
I think a lot of guys have this happen. Just a little tiny dribble on your pants.
That sucks. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just a little dribble. And then people start doing the math.

Speaker 1 That's where his penis ends.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You can't control your penis and your P.

Speaker 1 I'm like, no, actually, I cannot. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I cannot. Sometimes you put it back in and it needs to breathe a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm that's that good old one

Speaker 1 sucks. And you have to like do the thing where you kind of like shield yourself.

Speaker 1 Old school one, obviously, calling your teacher mom. Yeah.
Or just

Speaker 1 saying, I love you to someone by accident that you shouldn't say that to. Yeah.
Like PFT every day for the AWLs.

Speaker 4 No, I say that with a great amount of intent. When you can't pee at the urinal is one that I think a lot of people experience.
I don't have a problem with stage freight at a urinal.

Speaker 4 In fact, I take great pride in being able to walk into the center urinal when I'm flanked by bogeys on either side and just letting the stream go. But a lot of people have problems with that.

Speaker 4 That's got to be very embarrassing.

Speaker 3 Reading words phonetically. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 For

Speaker 3 them.

Speaker 4 But you nailed phonetically.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did.

Speaker 3 I'm so used to being like.

Speaker 1 Idiot Savant.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 4 That's a compliment. So it was Einstein.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a compliment.

Speaker 1 Playing pickup basketball when you get a perfect pass and you miss the layup. That's brutal.
And you're just like, okay, now everyone's looking at me. I'm the asshole.

Speaker 4 Getting caught in a lie, just in general.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like a white lie, too, isn't it?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's what, yeah. Obviously, like a big lie wouldn't be embarrassing.
Right.

Speaker 4 But if you're like, no, I already ate if somebody's serving you something you don't like, and it's like, no, you didn't.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 This is a small embarrassment I get all the time because I just don't know New York City enough. Like I just haven't tunnel vision like go to my house, go to work.

Speaker 1 When someone asks for directions in my neighborhood and I've been living there for three years and I can't give them to them.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but it's rude. But in New York, it's not rude to just do the walk by and not even acknowledge the question.

Speaker 1 It's like when you're walking, I'm walking Stella. So they're like, oh, this person lives here.

Speaker 1 And they're like, what street is this? And it's one street over. I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker 4 The thing is, Stella probably knows the answer. Like, if they're asking, like, hey, where's the coffee shop that I'm looking for? Stella's like, we've walked past this a million times.

Speaker 4 It's the one that smells like treats. Yes.

Speaker 4 What about accidentally tweeting the same thing twice because you thought that it saved to drafts and it's still it's still loaded in your phone.

Speaker 4 So it's not like you're retyping it, but you send it twice and then you have to delete one of them and then everyone's like, boom, you got caught.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Or missing like a major plot line in a movie or a like show or something because you weren't really paying attention and then tweeting about it and everyone's like you're a fucking idiot that sucks uh any other life smalls and small embarrassments getting swept in ping pong yep that's a really big one

Speaker 1 that's a really big one uh

Speaker 1 if you just fart and like like thinking no one's gonna come over to your area and someone does Yeah, that sucks.

Speaker 1 When you're like, I'm in the clear, if you're like in your cube and you're like, I'm good for that.

Speaker 3 That can be a rush, though. Like,

Speaker 3 there's a rush in trying to put off a fart on someone.

Speaker 1 Oh, what is it?

Speaker 3 You're really trying to throw people off the stench.

Speaker 3 But sometimes you know that they know that you're just doing that. But sometimes when you earnestly get away with it, and you're like, oh, what is that?

Speaker 3 And someone's like, oh, it's definitely that guy. And you're like, yep, that fucking asshole.

Speaker 1 The sneaky one is eating smelly food in front of other people. Like if you eat tuna fish, which is delicious, but you're like ashamed of it.
I hate that.

Speaker 1 I'll just stuff it in my mouth in the kitchen just so that people can't look at me all weird.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's definitely a bad one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's finish up the show.
We've got a big show coming Monday. Should we say who we got? Let's do it.
Yeah. Carl Malone on the show talking last dance-ish, NBA.

Speaker 4 Just whatever came to Carl Malone's mind. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He kind of dominated our interview. I took his shirt off.
like PFT right now. Actually, I took my shirt off for a little bit there, too, and then I realized I was fat.

Speaker 1 Let's talk Ronnie Coleman. Ronnie Coleman the king.
So

Speaker 1 we're doing a documentary every Friday. Are we going to do next Friday? We're going to do it.
Dude Perfect? Yeah, I think we have to. No.

Speaker 1 I can't watch that.

Speaker 1 Our enemies do it. Dude Perfect.
Let's fucking do it.

Speaker 4 Dropped a documentary about their lives.

Speaker 1 I actually don't know.

Speaker 4 Let's do it. We're going to watch it.
And then they tried to come back at me online because I said I was going to hate watch the fuck out of it.

Speaker 4 And then they replied to me, we still haven't broken up yet.

Speaker 4 So we're on their radar. Damn.
All right.

Speaker 1 So we're watching Dude Perfect next week. Ronnie Coleman the King.

Speaker 1 This was my documentary that I threw out there. I will say my bad because it was not as good as I thought.
It could have been so much better. It was so weird and just kind of meandered.

Speaker 1 But Ronnie Coleman is still a legend.

Speaker 4 He is a legend.

Speaker 3 They were just bouncing too much into his real life.

Speaker 1 Right. I want, or not like his current life.

Speaker 3 Like the story is what I wanted to know more about. Yes.
But like the day-to-day, like I'm super sore and I just go to the gym and stuff. Like that was too much of that for me.

Speaker 4 One thing that I noticed that I think we've been kind of talking about a little bit the last couple weeks is that he trained in the shittiest gyms. Yes.

Speaker 4 And I think that those weights are, in fact, heavier in shitty gyms. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 If you go to a place that's 100 degrees inside, that's got cobwebs and dust and shit everywhere, you're going to get a better pump than if you go to a Gold's gym in Manhattan Beach.

Speaker 1 I also don't fully understand.

Speaker 1 So the guy who owns Ronnie Cole, the gym that Ronnie Coleman went to, Brian Dobson, he was a part of the documentary, and he obviously looked like he was in sane shape like 15 years ago.

Speaker 1 He looks like shit right now. What's the point of lifting so much if you're going to look like shit later? Right.

Speaker 4 Old bodybuilder bodies are very, very strange to look at.

Speaker 1 Yeah, actually, Rodney Coleman, outside of the veins, like his body still kind of held up except for his back and all those.

Speaker 1 But I'm saying like visually, his body still, he looked like he had a six-pack and he looked ripped. But he was an insane athlete.
The fact that he won eight times in a row

Speaker 1 is crazy, crazy.

Speaker 1 And I love the part of the story where he kept on struggling to win and then all of a sudden he just drank vodka and ate pizza and was like, boom, next thing you know, it unlocked all of my abilities.

Speaker 4 Because he was a little bit dehydrated.

Speaker 1 He was a little dehydrated and also just needed to loosen up.

Speaker 4 Well, it was the coffee combined with the vodka. They're both diuretics, right? They both suck a little moisture out of your body so your veins pop the next day.
I was a little disappointed.

Speaker 4 I saw too much of bodybuilder Jay Cutler because bodybuilding Jay Cutler was just kind of like a if you know you know kind of guy right for people that had stumbled into pictures of him when they googled images for jay cutler the football player and their pages is filled with this shirtless bronze guy now i know that he's a real person with thoughts and feelings and not just somebody that pops up on my computer and make me laugh once a year right so like i could have done with less of him i thought it was interesting how he should have won the Mr.

Speaker 4 Olympia the year before and it was a make-up call the year after because in the moment the judges are wowed by by Ronnie Coleman.

Speaker 4 And then, in hindsight, once the media reports come out saying, oh, this is a lifetime award that they're giving to Ronnie Coleman, then they change their minds the next year.

Speaker 1 He was such a beast. And

Speaker 1 I love the part of the documentary where they had all the old bodybuilders talking about like the 90s bodybuilding circuit. And they're like, it was fucking fierce.

Speaker 1 Like, if you had to elbow a dude to get into your spot, you would. It's like talking about the bad boy pistons.
They didn't show any of that footage either. And also,

Speaker 1 I would have loved to see that. It was like a little elbow, these massive

Speaker 1 human beings who could kick the shit out of anyone, like bumping each other slightly and saying, it was fucking intense, bro.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I like how he put a big emphasis on drinking coffee, vodka, and then just getting tanned before a show. Yes.

Speaker 4 So it's like this, anyone at the Jersey Shore could be a bodybuilder if they put their mind to it.

Speaker 1 Kind of a problematic part of the movie was when Ronnie Coleman said that he took 30 milligrams of oxycodone. No, four times.

Speaker 1 So 120 milligrams of oxycodone a day, which actually is probably prescribed because he has so many injuries, and then had his two little girls like driving his car. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a wild scene. It's like, wait, hold on.

Speaker 1 I don't do that.

Speaker 4 You got to take into account that a guy that size probably has tolerance built up to him. Yes.

Speaker 4 But still, it's not a great thing to be taking pills and then driving your kids around.

Speaker 1 He's still lifting. His back is broken and he's still lifting.
And he would do those leg presses that were... That's how I fell fell in love with Ronnie Coleman to begin with.

Speaker 1 Was the he would do the videos where he'd be like, lightweight, lightweight, ain't nothing but a peanut. And then it would flash to him leg pressing 2,000 pounds.

Speaker 4 Isn't that kind of crazy though, that he broke his own back by being too strong and then kept lifting through it? So he is stronger than himself. He's stronger than his own body.

Speaker 1 The story about him breaking his back when he's doing like 800-pound squats and then says, oh, I felt something pop. And then he said, yeah, and then

Speaker 1 I went home, I showered, I got ready for work, and then I realized, oh, my back is broken.

Speaker 4 Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 I'm shocked that as a law enforcement officer from Texas, he has not been asked to be the guy that escorts a college coach out to midfield yet because they got the dude in Louisiana that walks the LSU head coach out.

Speaker 4 There's a state trooper in Texas that's famous because he's seven foot one and like 320 pounds, and he's always around college football programs. I need Ronnie Coleman escort.

Speaker 4 He should be Coach Doug's escort out.

Speaker 1 Yes. I mean, I love the guy.
He's a legend. He seems like the nicest guy in the world,

Speaker 1 one of the best competitors ever. Also, kind of a weird, the weird vibe of the movie was, like you said, Hank, they kept on going to his present-day home life.

Speaker 1 And his, I don't know what it was about his wife, but it was like, she was like, yeah, we just run this house. Like, we just run the house.
Like, he's a really good father.

Speaker 1 It's like, is there love here? I don't. It was very bizarre.

Speaker 4 I think at one point she was like, there are different household patterns that we have to enter when Ronnie's out of town. Right.

Speaker 1 It's like, what's going on?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that seems you're talking by household patterns, you mean like kissing your kids goodnight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, what is going on? The whole him, I guess, it sucks because I thought the documentary was going to be so much better. It really has potential.
It just, it just fell totally flat.

Speaker 4 Ronnie just seems like someone I want to be best friends with, though. Yeah.
He's got such an awesome personality.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Him breaking down in 98. Like, that was a pure sports moment.
Like, I didn't really, I still don't really understand.

Speaker 3 Like, they were explaining that he was coming in sixth and seventh and eighth and not doing well enough, and then he drank and all of a sudden won. Like, I don't understand the qualification.

Speaker 3 They didn't really explain the qualifications of, like, what he did that made him so much better when he won versus before. Like, was it a good thing?

Speaker 1 I think his muscle cut, muscle tone, yeah, all that stuff.

Speaker 4 It's like tone, symmetry, and then the vein.

Speaker 1 He had muscle. But they basically, they didn't really explain any of that.

Speaker 3 Like, it wasn't, it was,

Speaker 4 it was a documentary that was made for bodybuilders, but for casual casual viewers like i didn't really learn anything about bodybuilding right it's a subjective art so you can i think most people can look at two bodybuilders and be like damn that dude's jacked and holy shit that dude's swole so like ronnie coleman when he won in that first year i think it was what year was it uh 98 i think so when he like turned to the side he had abs on his ribs like they're they're just muscles in places that you cannot the most fucked up artist in the history of the world has not designed a human body that looked like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It's, I mean, he's chiseled from stone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess they do a,

Speaker 1 they, like, sachet around and they do a whole spin and everything. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I agree with you, Hank. They could have given us a lot more backstory on, like, what does it take to be a bodybuilder? What do they do? Like, I wanted to see Ronnie's workouts every day.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, all that stuff was just... We could make one.

Speaker 3 And the viral videos, like, I didn't even see any of those really. Like, the stuff you see from him on YouTube that got him famous, like, weren't that, I thought that was going to be a part of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone should go down a rabbit hole of Ronnie Coleman because his YouTubes are fucking awesome when he's just beasting just insane weights. He did the 800-pound squat twice.

Speaker 1 He says that he thinks he could have beaten the record, the

Speaker 1 one, in his peak, he could have beaten the record that just got halfway.

Speaker 4 The deadlift, the thousand-pound one that the mountain has. Yeah.
Jesus. Yeah.

Speaker 4 One thing I always like to think about when I see bodybuilders walking around with their little Tupperwares filled with

Speaker 4 the nine meals that they have to eat every day is just imagine them in the morning at their kitchen counter like with these tiny pieces of chicken, putting them specifically into every single Tupperware, then like scrubbing out the insides of them.

Speaker 4 That's very funny.

Speaker 3 That was my other note, speaking of what we were talking about earlier with not finishing meals. I'm pretty positive that Ronnie Coleman eats

Speaker 3 a week of worth of my food in one meal.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Yes. Like the clip of him with the chicken tenders on a plate for like that was one meal.
I was like, I would not eat that many chicken tenders in a week.

Speaker 1 Yes, that was an insane amount of food.

Speaker 1 Either way, he's a legend of the game. I just really was disappointed.
I don't know. It just sucked.
I wanted it to be so much better than it was. Such an interesting topic.
And you're right, Hank.

Speaker 1 Like, give us the backstory of Mr. Olympia.
Give us how the judges do it. Give us everything.
Tell us the whole circuit and everything. It just never happened.
I'm going to put my hand up.

Speaker 3 They got like five guys to be in the documentary. That was it.

Speaker 4 Can I admit something? And

Speaker 3 the guy that was in the Bo Jackson jersey,

Speaker 3 like what you were saying, like, I didn't realize he was was a bodybuilder until he said that I was a bodybuilder with him.

Speaker 1 I actually wouldn't, now that we're talking about it, I wouldn't have been shocked if they started this documentary and ran out of money.

Speaker 4 And they just said,

Speaker 4 let's focus on your home life. Yeah.
Does it cost us anything? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, now I'm thinking about it, it kind of gives that vibe.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I didn't see, I didn't watch the last 15 minutes.
Nothing.

Speaker 4 I missed out on the... Did they get to steroids at all? No.
That's weird. So I was thinking that the entire time.

Speaker 4 It's like we're doing an entire documentary about or about bodybuilding and we're not going to mention steroids whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I think Ronnie Coleman was clean.

Speaker 4 You think you, yeah, just all natural? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bro, you got to believe in something. Ronnie Coleman's a hero.
All right, we're going to do Dude Perfect next week.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 3 I might protest.

Speaker 4 What? You're not going to watch Corey, Cody, Cody, Toby, Brody?

Speaker 4 And Stan?

Speaker 1 I'm so excited to break down their personalities and how they interact with each other.

Speaker 4 For sure. We are going to get to the bottom of everything.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 It is going to be a deep dive into their brains. Come on, Hank.

Speaker 4 First try.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
See you everyone Monday.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 love of girl

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on me

Speaker 4 Take me

Speaker 4 Take on me I've ego

Speaker 4 Some need let's just say

Speaker 4 I've said it's a bumpy stone

Speaker 4 Some of my mind

Speaker 4 Say you're me.

Speaker 4 It's not better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 4 It's not better to be safe than someone.

Speaker 4 Drink on me.

Speaker 4 Drink on me.

Speaker 4 I'll give you all

Speaker 4 the drinks.

Speaker 4 Things that you say

Speaker 4 long.

Speaker 4 Just a point of memory.

Speaker 4 You are things I've got to remember. When you're shying away,

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take on me. Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 Take on me I'll take

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Speaker 4 up

Speaker 4 Take a body of me

Speaker 4 Take a body of fake

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 Take a

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Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 Take a meeting

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.