Joe Burrow, Musician Mike Posner, NFL Schedule Release And Mt Flushmore Of Minor Injuries

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Speaker 3 On today's part of my take, we got two interviews coming your way. We got number one pick in the NFL draft 2020 NFL draft, Joe Burrows, Cincinnati Bengals starting QB.

Speaker 3 And then we have musician Mike Posner. Did I say it right? I nailed it.
I nailed it. Interesting interview with him.

Speaker 3 We have Fire Fest of the Week, Mount Flushmore of minor injuries, an NFL schedule release. Oh, yeah.
And Earl Thomas had an orgy with his brother, and then his wife held him at gunpoint.

Speaker 3 That was just a minor thing that we talked about.

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Speaker 3 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 3 work will be done.

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Speaker 3 and then we'll take it higher.

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Speaker 8 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App.

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You get $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA. Today is Friday, May 8th, and we have an NFL schedule.
And hope.

Speaker 8 Hope is the most important thing.

Speaker 3 Adam Schefter,

Speaker 8 hope is the most important thing. We were gifted tonight.
There are three types of reactions to seeing your team's NFL schedule comes out.

Speaker 3 16-0.

Speaker 8 First is, I feel like 12-4 is a pretty common one. If you've got a great team, you think we're going 12-4 because that's going to get you your division no matter what.
There's 10 and 6.

Speaker 8 That's if your team finished anywhere between 6 and 10 and 10 and 6 last year. You're looking at the schedule.
You're like, yeah, I can see 10 wins.

Speaker 8 And then the minimum, if you have a really shitty team, you're thinking,

Speaker 8 I can do 7 and 9 this year. In the hunt.
In the hunt. 8-8.
Anything's possible.

Speaker 3 The hunt.

Speaker 3 So the schedule is here. It's just great to look at it.
Oh, first thing that I noticed, by the way, the Rams logo sucks even worse.

Speaker 3 They did the logo reveal a month ago. We all roasted it.
I forgot about it. I see right away Dallas at Los Angeles to open up that new stadium on Sunday night.

Speaker 3 I don't know if you've heard, but if you follow any Big J journalists who go in and out of Los Angeles, they're building a new stadium there. But man, does that logo suck?

Speaker 3 Their schedule announcement video, though, was amazing. Okay, oh, I forgot to do it.
Where did the schedule announce?

Speaker 8 Yeah, schedule announcement video. It's like prom night for team officials.

Speaker 3 The Panthers like last year. Remember when they did the old school video games? That was cool.
They should have it. It was with Jared and our guy Joey.
Oh, that was great. Joey Molinaro? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Whoa, I didn't know that. He was on there.
That's sick. Good for you, Joey.
Shout out Joey Molinaro.

Speaker 8 Go follow him. Yeah, I'm looking at

Speaker 8 the official logo of the Rams here. I thought that it was the Chargers.
My initial reaction was, God damn, the Chargers have a lot of primetime games this year. What's going on with that?

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 the Texans at the Chiefs just kick off the season. I'm actually not that excited about this because I just think the Texans are trash.

Speaker 8 I'm excited.

Speaker 3 Texans are trash.

Speaker 8 So the reason I'm excited about it is that every time I think I know something for sure, I'm always totally wrong about that thing.

Speaker 8 So I think that the Texans are going to stink next year and be like 5-11, 6-10.

Speaker 8 Now is the time to absolutely fade my own brain and think maybe the Texans will be frisky in week one. Super Bowl hangover.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 I just don't see it. I think they're going to, I just keep reminding myself, oh, yeah, the Texans don't have DeAndre Hopkins.
How the fuck did that happen?

Speaker 3 Other scheduling quirk. We have the first ever, never been done

Speaker 3 Friday NFL game.

Speaker 8 When is that?

Speaker 3 Christmas Day. Saints Vikings.
Oh, wow. So the NFL is now saying, fuck you, NBA.
We're not giving you this day for free. They're fighting back, and they will have an NFL game on Christmas Day.

Speaker 3 That's going to be awesome.

Speaker 8 That, I feel like, was specifically done to piss Sean Payton off.

Speaker 3 It was done to piss off the NBA more than anything because the NBA has the NBA is Christmas Day, and I love NBA and Christmas Day, but when you put out

Speaker 3 an NFL game to compete with it, it's going to be tough.

Speaker 8 I feel like that's a good opportunity to exploit a brand new Christmas under in football, though.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 I'd have to look because I don't know. The only problem is I don't know if the team has their families, if they're staying at the hotels or not, because it's a bigger team.

Speaker 8 Kirk Cousins is going to be so mad that he has to play on Christmas.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a bigger team, but that's a nice little quirk. I was like,

Speaker 3 when I saw that and it said the first ever Friday game, I was like, holy shit, are we going to get a real Friday game?

Speaker 8 My favorite stories used to be how the NFL just didn't schedule Friday games because they wanted to respect high school football.

Speaker 3 I think that's true. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So it's true. So it's true.

Speaker 8 That's why they do it. Yeah, yeah, it's true in general.
But another scheduling quirk here,

Speaker 8 Adam Schefter announced that the league has contingency plans in place to move the season back, move the Super Bowl back as long as like three or four weeks, maybe longer.

Speaker 8 That would mean that every game at the start of the season, every week at the start of the season that wasn't played, would get tacked on to the end of the season, which could mean that opening day could be, if it's not going to be the Texans and the Chiefs, could be the Browns and the Bengals.

Speaker 8 Joe Burrow could open up the season. If it's moved back one week, if it's moved back a month, that would mean opening day would be the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and your Chicago Bears.

Speaker 3 Yes, I don't want to think about that, though. I don't want to think about moving the schedule around.

Speaker 3 Let's just think about football coming back back in that first scheduled spot because I just can't think about that. We got to think positive, right? This is a positive day.
This is a hope day.

Speaker 3 Football is going to start right after Labor Day, like it always does, and we're going to be ready to go. And it's going to feel fucking awesome.

Speaker 8 I'm extremely excited. I do have hope.
You know what? I laughed at this tweet from Adam Schaefer this morning. I laughed at the most of all hope.

Speaker 3 I did not. I feel hope.
I felt hope. I feel

Speaker 8 like I feel hope right now. Hank,

Speaker 3 would you like to hear who the hardest and easiest schedules are? Sure. The easiest schedule, the Baltimore Ravens.
The hardest schedule, the New England Patriots. Good.

Speaker 3 Wouldn't have it any other way. Okay.

Speaker 8 To be the man, you got to beat the man.

Speaker 3 I also love this hardest, easiest schedule because it all changes.

Speaker 3 Right, that's based off of teams from last year.

Speaker 8 Correct. It's based off of, well, you can look at it that way, or as our good friend Warren Sharp would put it, you can look at it in the context of what the expected wins are in Vegas.

Speaker 8 So that's a little bit different. That's a better way to look at it now, but

Speaker 3 that also means nothing.

Speaker 8 It's completely going to change

Speaker 8 over the course of the season.

Speaker 8 I'm so excited for football. I can't wait.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 3 Any other scheduling quirks or anything that? I mean, it's kind of weird to go through the entire schedule. I've done it for the Bears.

Speaker 3 For the whole league, it's weird to do.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm pumped that the Redskins aren't going to have any primetime games. Well, zero primetime games.
No, no.

Speaker 3 Thanksgiving counts as a prime time game.

Speaker 8 It's an afternoon game. That still counts as a game.

Speaker 3 It's an afternoon game.

Speaker 8 We We have zero night games.

Speaker 3 That counts as a prime time.

Speaker 8 Okay, zero night games. Okay.
Which is awesome because I think that we've gone winless in the last four years on night games.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Bears have got that. Four primetime games, which I'm hoping maybe one of those gets flexed out.

Speaker 3 But yeah, that's never... I just dread them.
I dread them so much.

Speaker 8 The Bills have two primetime games.

Speaker 3 No, I thought the Bills had four.

Speaker 8 I might be looking at Monday Night Football only.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think you're looking at Monday Night Football only. Because I just counted three off the top.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 they have four. I love it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they have a Thursday night and then a Sunday night and two Monday night games.

Speaker 8 The one thing that we should call out, Moment of Silence for

Speaker 8 No Jags Titans Thursday night game. Tradition has been broken.

Speaker 8 And that was the Moment of Silence for it. That was a game that I would look forward to every year.

Speaker 3 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 8 Just the color rush, the mustard yellow. It was our week of atonement.
I think we made a trophy with it.

Speaker 3 Yom Kippur. Yeah, we might have made a trophy.
Toilet bowl. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We did a Chris Berman for it one time. That's true.
On a Friday episode.

Speaker 8 That's true. It's just really sad to not have that.
Traditions are important.

Speaker 3 Since it started, and then we just played the toilet flushing sound, if I remember correctly.

Speaker 8 That was the entire recap.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Hold on.
But

Speaker 3 let's fix this.

Speaker 3 I agree with you. It sucks we don't have that.
But we do have Dolphins versus Jaguars Thursday night football. That's pretty shitty.
And a cool, like, ooh, colors. Oh, that's a lot of colors game.

Speaker 3 That's a cool game. The Dolphins.

Speaker 8 Battle for Florida. The Dolphins' uniforms are not meant to be seen during the week.
That's strictly a weekend thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that's going to be, that will be a fun game. I'm going to say it right now.
I'm going to circle that as a fun game.

Speaker 3 Week three, Thursday night football, Miami Dolphins at Jacksonville Jaguars.

Speaker 8 Two-aware number one. That's fun.

Speaker 3 Okay, before we do Earl Thomas, let's do one last thing with the NFL schedule. We'll do rapid fire week one picks.
I'm the hottest gambler in the world.

Speaker 3 Still, I have that crown because they they canceled sports, trying to keep me down when I was 8-0-1 that one night, and also like plus 20 million units the last month before they canceled sports.

Speaker 3 So just remember that.

Speaker 8 Okay, opening night, Texans at Chiefs. Kansas City, minus 10 and a half at home.

Speaker 3 Chiefs.

Speaker 8 I like that. I'm going to take that too.

Speaker 8 Next up, we have New England. New England is minus six, and they're playing against the Miami Dolphins.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 8 And the game is.

Speaker 3 I know where it is, but I'm not telling telling you.

Speaker 8 Trying to track it. It's in New England.

Speaker 3 Okay. I'll take.
New England.

Speaker 3 I'll take the Dolphins.

Speaker 3 That's a shocker.

Speaker 8 Belichick against a rookie quarterback. I'm taking Belichick.

Speaker 3 Oh, you don't think Ryan Fitzpatrick will be a week one, Starter?

Speaker 8 No, I think it's going to be Tua.

Speaker 3 Throw him in the fire.

Speaker 8 Next up, we have Baltimore against the Cleveland Browns. This is in Baltimore, and Baltimore is an eight-point favorite.

Speaker 3 Give me the Brits. Hmm.

Speaker 8 I'm going to agree with you on that one. Buffalo, minus five and a half at home against the Jets.

Speaker 3 Give me the Jets, which, by the way, we've taped this twice, and I just want to say I want credit for having the rat line because we had the home in a way confused at first.

Speaker 3 So PFT said Bills at Jets, Jets plus five and a half. I said that was my rat line of week one.
Turns out the game's at Buffalo, but I still sniffed out that rat line.

Speaker 8 Okay, credit to you for sniffing out the rat line. I've got the Bills, and I'm done chaining the Jets before the season even starts.

Speaker 8 I don't. Carolina, minus one.
Carolina, minus one at home against the Raiders.

Speaker 3 Give me the Las Vegas Raiders.

Speaker 8 Winning on the road. Yes.
Rookie coach.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 8 I'm taking the Raiders. Seattle.

Speaker 8 Seattle minus one on the road, traveling to Atlanta. But it's not that far east that they're traveling, remember? Yep.

Speaker 3 Atlanta's farther west than Detroit.

Speaker 3 What's the line?

Speaker 8 Minus one. Minus one.

Speaker 3 I will take.

Speaker 8 I'll take the Falcons.

Speaker 8 I'm going to take the Falcons too. I think they're going to be frisky.

Speaker 3 My week one strategy is just basically bet on the teams that sucked last year.

Speaker 8 Philadelphia, minus six at Washington.

Speaker 3 I'll take the Eagles there. Sorry.

Speaker 8 I'm going to take the Redskins. Okay.
New coach.

Speaker 8 I like to bet on new coaches.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but the Eagles, you've got to remember, this is the only time all year that you're going to be able to bet on the Eagles fully healthy.

Speaker 8 Detroit, minus one

Speaker 8 against Chicago.

Speaker 3 I will take the Bears.

Speaker 8 Okay, I'm going to take the Bears, too. Indianapolis minus 7.5 at Jacksonville.

Speaker 3 Can't wait to ask you guys all these the day before the season starts.

Speaker 3 They're so different. Jags.
Give me Jags. Jags are plus 7.5 at home.
Let's see.

Speaker 8 Jags are plus 7.5 at home.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Jags.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm going to take the Jags too. Next up, we have Minnesota minus 3.5, and they're playing at home against Green Bay.

Speaker 3 Give me the Packers.

Speaker 8 Brett Favre is going to be so pissed off at the start of the ball. 3.5.

Speaker 8 The Chargers, minus 4 at Cincinnati. Joe Burrow's debut.
Hmm.

Speaker 8 Give me the Bengals. I'm taking the Bengals.
San Francisco, minus 7.5 at home against the Cardinals.

Speaker 3 Cardinals. Easy bet.

Speaker 3 Easy bet.

Speaker 8 Easy bet. I'm going to agree with you on that one.
Easy bet.

Speaker 3 Andre Hopkins is on the Cardinals, just a reminder.

Speaker 8 Everyone's forgetting about the Cardinals.

Speaker 8 New Orleans, minus 4.5 against tampa bay wow the disrespect that's at home it's in the dome yeah i'll take the bucks there plus four and a half i'm gonna take some dome magic i'm gonna say dome magic at home in new orleans four and a half dallas minus three at the rams

Speaker 3 give me

Speaker 3 like passing each other in records in that game is that gonna be one of those situations might be i'll take the rams plus three at home yes

Speaker 8 yes i'm gonna agree with you on that one next up pittsburgh minus three

Speaker 8 at the Giants. This is the first Monday night game.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'll take the Steelers.

Speaker 8 Me too. Denver minus three, the Sergio Dip game.
Denver minus three

Speaker 8 against the Titans, but it's in Denver. It's at altitude.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'll take the Broncos.

Speaker 8 I'm going to take the Broncos too. That defense is going to be ready.

Speaker 3 All right, so there goes the week one picks. Probably the worst segment we've ever done, but there it is.
Let's just see how we do. Locks of the week.
Yeah. All right.
Let's get to Earl Thomas.

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Speaker 3 Okay, before we get to Firefest,

Speaker 3 Earl Thomas. Why, what happened? Earl Thomas.
He okay?

Speaker 3 Where should we start?

Speaker 8 Well, let's start at the start with him because he kind of pulled an okie-doke on us. Yep.
He needed some PR 101 right off the bat.

Speaker 8 He tried to get out ahead of the story by going on Instagram and saying, hey, some stuff's about to come out between me and my wife. Stuff happens.
Some stuff happened,

Speaker 8 and I want you to pray for us. And so everybody immediately thought Earl got in trouble.
He got arrested for maybe

Speaker 8 hitting his wife, something like that. Something domestic happened, which, yes, something domestic happened.

Speaker 8 But what ended up transpiring, I don't think was anything we could have predicted.

Speaker 3 So if you have not heard the story, a quick summary so that everyone's on the same page. Earl Thomas got in a fight with his wife, Nina.

Speaker 3 His brother came and picked him up. This is, I think, a regular afternoon.
His brother came and picked him up to leave the house to defuse the fight.

Speaker 3 His wife then pulled up Earl's Snapchat, logged into his Snapchat, got his location, said, oh shit, Earl is with some chicks, probably fucking him and his brother, up at it again, doing orgy shit.

Speaker 3 She then got her crew, which, by the way, just as a side, Talk about ride or die to call up your friends and be like, grab your knives. We're going to go confront Earl.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 got her crew, went to the Airbnb that they were at, caught Earl and Seth. Seth? I believe it was Seth.

Speaker 3 No, wait. Yeah, Earl and Seth in bed with women and together, and then proceeded to hold Earl at gunpoint with a unloaded gun, but it actually had a bullet in there.
to try to scare him straight.

Speaker 3 God forbid. I mean, I'm actually like, thank God Earl Thomas didn't die.

Speaker 3 It seems like it could have been a situation where someone accidentally sh fires off a gun and then they arrested Earl Thomas' wife. Earl Thomas did not get arrested.
End scene.

Speaker 8 Safety first. She took the magazine out.
So she was trying to be safe when she was holding a gun a foot away from his head. She didn't realize that there was one in the chamber.

Speaker 8 It was like the Tiger King situation where he's like, this gun won't fire without a magazine. It turns out it can if there's one in the chamber.
So yeah, she confronts Earl.

Speaker 8 We need to get a detailed breakdown of exactly what the layout of this house was. Were they in the same bed together? Were the brothers just

Speaker 8 growing out?

Speaker 3 I think it was separate rooms. I think it was one of those dockantle orgy beds where it's like there can be 10 people in a bed at the same time.

Speaker 3 That has to be just remove ourselves from the situation. That has to be the coolest thing that an Earl and Seth duo have ever done together, right? Like those names aren't.

Speaker 3 You're not thinking like Earl and Seth, we're about to fucking get down. Earl and Seth are sitting at a diner like, complaining to each other about God knows what.

Speaker 3 They're not having orgies in the middle of the day at their fuck shack.

Speaker 8 I think Earl and Seth have definitely run from the law before. They've definitely been on the land, like, as fugitives together, partnering up

Speaker 8 using payphones. Earl and Seth.
No,

Speaker 8 Seth is definitely a name that gets Earl into trouble, not the other way around.

Speaker 8 Seth is the more wild card of two names. You throw a Travis into the mix, and now we're talking a real fuck-up of a triumvirate.

Speaker 8 But Earl, Earl on its own, Earl seems like a guy that likes to hang out in his backyard on a lawn chair, maybe have one too many, almost drown in his kiddie pool, come back inside and sleep it off.

Speaker 8 When you add a Seth into the mix, Seth is the one that brings over the illegal fireworks.

Speaker 3 Oh, I did.

Speaker 8 And then they start blowing shit up. One thing leads to another, and they start fucking.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I think you just described that old TV show. Yeah, I don't think it's not Earl.
I don't think Seth

Speaker 3 get down like that. No.
No.

Speaker 8 You need to expand your Seth horizon.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Give me some Seth.

Speaker 8 Just Seth in general.

Speaker 3 Just Seth. Seth Curry, the lamer curry.

Speaker 8 Seth that I I knew.

Speaker 3 No, but his son is going to be a monster.

Speaker 3 But he's still the lamer Curry. Yeah, but he married Doc Rivers' daughter.
So they're.

Speaker 3 Seth Curry's kid is going to be the greatest basketball player alive.

Speaker 3 Wait, now you're saying it? He'll be taking down the Bronnie Bryce Maximus hot seat.

Speaker 3 I don't think.

Speaker 3 Well, here's the other thing is that Seth.

Speaker 3 I would assume if your brother's in the NFL and your brother's like, yo, let's do some fucking, you kind of just have to do it. Like, you don't get to to decide, like, hey, Earl, could we try this?

Speaker 3 Could we try to have sex with these women in different rooms? That's something that Earl Thomas calls the shots. He's like, I'm the NFL player.
I'm the millionaire.

Speaker 3 If I say we're going to fuck in the same room, we're going to fuck in the same room.

Speaker 8 I think that Seth is, you don't have to convince Seth too much to be a wingman in this situation because

Speaker 8 Seth, he's like,

Speaker 8 the only way that I'm going to be able to score these hot chicks is if I'm around Earl.

Speaker 8 So it's a symbiotic relationship where, yeah, if you had to draw it up and plan out your night, you probably don't go into a night being like, I can't wait to have sex with girls with my brother in the room having sex with them too.

Speaker 8 But it's a give and take where it's like, I could be having sex with more attractive women if Earl is around. I just got to bite the bullet.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 I just got to bite the bullet. It's not Earl that's a bad choice of words.

Speaker 8 I just have to suck it up. That's another bad choice of words.
I just have to deal with the fact that I'm going to watch my brother have sex while I have sex.

Speaker 3 But that's my point. And so you're agreeing that Earl is the driver here.
Earl is the driver.

Speaker 8 He's the driver of the orgy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you do. I looked at his scouting report.

Speaker 8 This is true. Okay, this is going to sound like a Rick Riley.

Speaker 3 This is his scouting report.

Speaker 8 He can play man-to-man or in the box. He's a prototypical strong safety.
I think you made that up.

Speaker 3 Nope.

Speaker 3 No one in the Rocky. It's going to be a very interesting Mother's Day on Sunday.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's true. What do you get your mom in that situation?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 And also, like, does... Like, if the whole family comes over, does Seth come? I don't think so.

Speaker 8 I don't think so.

Speaker 3 i think they both come i okay there's a rick riley i don't rick riley i don't i don't i don't think seth is allowed over the house on mother's day it's gonna be awkward it's gonna be very awkward i just want to know more about these women who showed up with with earl thomas's wife like brandishing weapons being like let's go fuck them up i also need to know what type of airbnb review they got afterwards i want to read i thought airbnbs were done so i feel like this must be he's got an airbnb on deck like at all times kind of like michael irvin in the the White House.

Speaker 8 He's stimulating the economy a little bit.

Speaker 3 He's just got that ready to go.

Speaker 8 Now, were they all part of the same social distancing circle? Had they been in quarantine together? Yeah, I don't know. That's the big concern.

Speaker 3 Either way, wild story because there was a moment where Earl Thomas's career was over, and then it came out.

Speaker 3 It was like, wait, dude, why didn't you just say on your Instagram when you got ahead of the story that you didn't get arrested? You should have just said that.

Speaker 3 But weird story out of nowhere, Earl Thomas.

Speaker 3 Hey, stuff happens. I just want to know

Speaker 3 what has to happen in Earl Thomas's life outside of getting held at gunpoint by his wife after an orgy with his brother to escalate it to the next level beyond stuff happens.

Speaker 8 I think stuff happens is just an

Speaker 8 all-encompassing term. If you can say it after this, you can say it after anything.

Speaker 8 And he's right. I mean, find a hole in his logic.
Stuff does happen.

Speaker 3 Stuff does happen, but

Speaker 3 that is more than stuff happening. So for him to be that cool about stuff happening,

Speaker 3 I don't know what makes Earl Thomas be like, yo, shit went down.

Speaker 3 That's the next level.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, he was on the field when they lost the Super Bowl at the two-yard line. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

Speaker 3 So after you see that,

Speaker 8 that's more than stuff happening.

Speaker 3 Get run over by Derrick Henry.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so like you see it happen. You take a stiff arm from Derrick Henry in the playoffs.
All of a sudden, getting caught with your pants down with your little brother in the same bed.

Speaker 8 It's like, okay, I'd rather do this than get run over again.

Speaker 3 It's pretty much the Seinfeld yada, yada, yada. Like, dude, stuff happens.
You got held at gunpoint by your wife. It is the new yada yada.
That's more than stuff happens.

Speaker 8 He yadda incest.

Speaker 3 We need to figure out a different word for stuff happening, you know, a different phrase for stuff happens when it's talking about being held, almost dying, because you had an orgy with your brother in the middle of the afternoon.

Speaker 8 Now, do you think that we're going to see social distancing laws change? Because people are protesting the fact that they can't go to the bowling alley.

Speaker 8 Nobody's brought up up orgies yet, but you know that the orgy people are underground waiting for somebody to take a stand behind.

Speaker 3 The orgy people have been key. You don't stop orgying because there's a pandemic.
You might. It's not something you do.

Speaker 8 You might because

Speaker 8 you have to schedule out the orgy. And I think that there's one person in every group chat, even if it's an orgy group chat, that's like, hey, are we sure that this is the safe thing to do?

Speaker 3 No, orgy people will find a way to orgy no matter what.

Speaker 3 The hell could be, the Earth could be burning down. There could be an asteroid, and they'll be like, we got a fucking orgy.
Like, we had this on the books. We have to do it.

Speaker 8 Zoom orgies aren't the same.

Speaker 3 No. No.

Speaker 3 I'm confident that orgy people will, in the face of a pandemic, they will keep sucking and fucking their way through it. Let's see.
Absolutely. All right.
Firefest. Hank, go.

Speaker 3 I actually have multiple fire fests this week. Oh, bad week.
The first one is that I was ordering a rug. And I was like, don't worry about it, Rhea.
Like, I'll order it myself.

Speaker 3 Found a rug, picked it out, clicked buy, and it showed up. And it's a nine-foot by 12-foot rug.
I love that picture.

Speaker 3 It is way bigger than I have space for in my apartment, and it's so big that I literally just don't know what to do with it. So I just had this giant rug.

Speaker 3 Like, we might give it to Rhea's parents, but it's like, I don't even know how we're going to get it. It's 12 feet long.
So, can you cut the rug, though?

Speaker 8 I guess. You can always make a smaller rug out of a bigger rug.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we do have that sword here at Big Hat's desk. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But yeah. Cut it.
I could cut a rug. So that's one.
And that's just one where it's like, you know, I feel like it's like, oh, yeah, I can take care of it.

Speaker 3 And it's like, I probably should have let my girlfriend order the rug because it would have come in the correct size. Uh-huh.

Speaker 8 Did you measure?

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 you didn't try to measure it. Right, no, I was just like, rug.
There's nothing worse. How big could it be?

Speaker 3 There's nothing worse than taking control of a situation and then just royally fucking it up in like a hilarious way where everyone's like, your girlfriend or your wife's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 And I was like, why did you just let me do it? And I was excited, exactly, because I was excited about the rug. I was like, oh, the rug's coming tomorrow.
The rug's coming tomorrow. Like,

Speaker 3 ringing the doorbell, the rug's here. And then I was like, oh,

Speaker 3 yep, this is literally 12 feet long. Spin zone, you'll never be asked to do anything like that again, right? Correct.
So at least you're off the hook.

Speaker 3 And then my other one is that I have Adam Gay's eyes when I play video games. Let's see them.
See ghosts? It's no, it's like I get super focused when I'm concentrated.

Speaker 3 I guess you can see the, I think it's because you can see like the whites of my eyes and like the top of them. But

Speaker 3 I've seen the video

Speaker 3 and they just bug out. My eyes like bug out.
Like I just stare for long periods of time. And I'm like.
You can blink, you know. I know, but I'm so concentrated, I don't know what I'm doing.

Speaker 3 It's one of those things where, like, I'm not thinking about what I look like when I'm playing, I'm just, I'm just focusing on the game, you gotta smoke more weed, and then everyone's like, dude, you have Adam Gay's eyes.

Speaker 8 You smoke more weed, all of a sudden, your eyes get real narrow.

Speaker 3 Yeah, then I'm just terrible at the game, though. I've been trying to, I've really, I've really been trying to get better.
Good, Hank. Thank you.
I am, I'm proud of you. All right, uh, Pia T.

Speaker 8 Mine's also video game related, so I'm developing what's commonly known as gamer's thumb in both both thumbs right now because I've been playing a lot of Super Mario Kart, and that game requires you to to always have your thumbs activated throughout the entire race.

Speaker 8 So like I've got this weird like numb sensation my left thumb, numb sensation my right. I wake up that they're they're sore in the morning.

Speaker 3 It's like calluses though. You just got to push through.
It's tough.

Speaker 8 Am I going to get a callus out of this? Yeah. Or is it just going to be sore for forever?

Speaker 3 No, you just got to keep, like,

Speaker 3 get it permanently sore and eventually, yeah, eventually it'll become hard.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm playing with Yoshi and, you know, you got to, it's pedaled to the metal every single time you play Super Mario Kart. You don't hit the brake.
You don't take your thumb off.

Speaker 8 So So I'm dealing with gamers. Is that what it's called? That's what I'm calling.

Speaker 8 I got gamer's thumb going on.

Speaker 3 It's like turf toe. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We all are dealing with video game stuff. I'm getting bullied in the Twitch stream non-stop.
But my Fire Fest is I have two as well, Hank.

Speaker 3 My first is Mindy Kaling. PFT, you told me about this, but Mindy Kaling tried to tweet out.
She pulled a Hank, as we call it in the business. Hey, who has an idea?

Speaker 3 Give me recommendations for new cookware. And then like the most expensive cookware in the world hit her up and was like, hey, we'll send you whatever you want for free.
What's wrong with that?

Speaker 3 She got shamed and now everyone's like, dude, if you can afford it, don't do that. And I need to get movers

Speaker 3 in like a couple weeks. And now I can't do that.
So I really wanted to get the best movers in New York. And I wish someone would hit me up and be like, hey, I'll pay, but I want the best of the best.

Speaker 3 But now I can't tweet that.

Speaker 8 Classic Hank she pulled there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, classic hank.

Speaker 8 Good thing you you didn't say anything about it. Right.

Speaker 3 Because I can't

Speaker 3 have been the best movers. Please email me a parcel big cat as email.

Speaker 8 She she absolutely ruined it for everybody. But it's funny seeing all the replies that people being like, why don't you send me one if you're going to send one to Mindy Kalen? Right.

Speaker 8 So I'm firmly on team Lodge cast iron cookware instead of La Cruset.

Speaker 3 Okay. I also think there's a chance that that was like a pretty good idea

Speaker 8 for sure. So she not only got paid for it, but then she got the product.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 She got paid for it, and they're like, how are we going to market market it?

Speaker 3 And she's very smart. She's very funny.
She's like, oh, I'll put out a tweet pretending like I don't have this. That's what I did with the movers.
Yeah, please still hit me up.

Speaker 8 I would never do something like that. I'm about to take a big sip of my delicious body armor.

Speaker 3 You're good with your amps right now? Your guitar amps?

Speaker 8 Oh, I would never do that.

Speaker 3 That was the best. Yeah.
I need a new guitar amp. The fender.

Speaker 8 The fender works, man.

Speaker 3 Okay, my other fire fest is, oh, my guy Jay Cutler's getting dragged for no reason in the presses, and it's bullshit. And it's transparent and I'm seeing right through it.

Speaker 3 Kristen Cavalieri has now had like seven stories in the last week that she's leaked to the press. My quarterback has not said a word.
He's taken the high road.

Speaker 3 If you don't see through this, if you don't see through Kristen Cavalier's fucking reality show bullshit, I don't want to know you.

Speaker 8 I am enjoying very much the body language experts, the body language translators that are all about.

Speaker 3 Who's leaning in?

Speaker 8 So if you're simpin', you're leaning in. And if you're a man, you're standing up straight in the picture, and she's the one that's leaning into you for protection.

Speaker 3 I'd also happily be a character witness in any court hearings because Jay Cutler, how could he be lazy? He's fucking training to be an Olympic handballist.

Speaker 8 Good point. Handballist.

Speaker 3 Handballist.

Speaker 8 And also, if he's leaning over her, he's protecting her, right? I would think if you're taller than the person next to you, you're protecting them against bird shit, rain, all that stuff.

Speaker 3 It's also just a hilarious premise to say

Speaker 3 this guy who's made

Speaker 3 $100 million for our family, who has diabetes and got the shit ticked out of him playing football for the last 20 years, just wants to sit on the couch for a little bit.

Speaker 3 Like, even if he were lazy, I don't think anyone in America would be like, dude, how could you do that?

Speaker 8 The diabetes card is one that he could very easily play in the press.

Speaker 3 It's just crazy. The whole thing,

Speaker 3 I got triggered by seeing the 17th story, like I said, that she's leaking. You don't play these games in the press.
Also, she said she wants her privacy and then has leaked like

Speaker 8 that she wants a $5 million mansion and Jay froze the bank accounts and told her to get a job.

Speaker 8 I think, so is there any possibility that this is a publicity stunt for her reality show where they've discussed all this?

Speaker 3 No, Team Jay, we've moved on.

Speaker 8 You don't think that there's a chance that she's pulling a Chris Jenner.

Speaker 3 No, she's going to try to make a reality show out of this 100%. She is going to have a reality show being like living through divorce or some bullshit.

Speaker 8 But you don't think... Jay is not.
You don't think that the divorce is something that they're drumming up? No.

Speaker 3 Uh-uh. Stay woke.
Uh-uh. No.
What do you think, Hank?

Speaker 8 Hank's giving I'm giving Adam gay size right now and me and Big Cat. I mean, we're

Speaker 3 talking to E.

Speaker 3 We're talking E. No, she will try to make a show out of this.
Jay will not be involved. I don't know.
They're going to be.

Speaker 3 I would be on your side, but the fact that it's E-Network, which is the home of the Kardashians, I can't 100% rule it out. I believe you.
I

Speaker 3 think you're right, but I can't 100% rule it out. You guys are ruining culture in America by being woke on everything.

Speaker 8 I'd rather be too woke than too slept.

Speaker 3 Well, every time I talk about the Kardashians, that's what you guys say to me. So it's like, well, they're very much, I mean, everything is obviously planned with them.

Speaker 3 Yeah. No, I mean, Kristen probably is going to plan something.
I'm talking about it. Like, her ratings were probably down.
Yeah. And she was like,

Speaker 3 when I get my ratings up, they're like, you want to do it like the Kardashians, or do you want to fucking keep getting shitty ratings? And she's like, I want to do it like Kardashians.

Speaker 8 Jay, will you do this with me?

Speaker 3 No, she will have an Instagram being like,

Speaker 3 please leave me alone while I go through this tough time in my my life.

Speaker 3 And then in like six months, be like, Kristen, newly single Kristen on E, going through divorce, crying on TV, being like, it was so difficult. Yeah, because you made everything public.

Speaker 3 All right, that's my rant. Let's get to Joe Burrow.
First pick in the draft.

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Speaker 8 Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905. Now, Joe Burrow.

Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest and good friend of the program, number one pick in the 2020 NFL draft.

Speaker 8 1-1.

Speaker 3 Congratulations on that. It is Joe Burrow, national champion too.
We should say that. Joe Burrow joining us from his parents' house.

Speaker 3 Do you think that you're the first number one pick overall in any sport that is still living in their parents' basement a month after the draft?

Speaker 5 Yeah, my dad likes to make the joke that I'm a 23-year-old millionaire living in my parents' basement.

Speaker 3 So it's not a joke. I'm going to say I'm pretty close to home.
Yeah, it's not joke. It's reality.
It's not joke.

Speaker 5 It hits close to home.

Speaker 8 So how does that work? Did you get a loan that's kind of fronted you some of the money? Have you made a big purchase yet? Or are you waiting for everything to fall through?

Speaker 5 I'm waiting for all the money to hit.

Speaker 5 Haven't signed the contract yet. So we're just kind of waiting to see what happens over the next three months because we really don't know.

Speaker 3 Okay, so are you sleeping in your childhood bedroom?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I am.

Speaker 3 How big is the bed?

Speaker 5 So I got it upgraded when I was in high school. So it's a king-sized bed.

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 5 But the room is Star Wars-themed.

Speaker 3 Shut up.

Speaker 8 How many Star Wars posters do you currently have on your wall?

Speaker 3 Two, I think. Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I changed the... So the comforter was Star Wars.
I think the curtains are still Star Wars, but the Comforter is no longer Star Wars.

Speaker 3 You're an NFL quarterback.

Speaker 3 Have you said that to yourself as you

Speaker 3 tuck yourself in with your Star Wars jammies?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 3 I think I have.

Speaker 3 That's unbelievable.

Speaker 8 Do you have any sort of deli theme going on in your room as well?

Speaker 5 No theme, but he sent me. So he sent me a...

Speaker 5 like a montage of all of my

Speaker 5 touchdowns from the year. So it's like a little highlight video, and it's like in this little square box that you can plug in and charge.
So it's pretty sick.

Speaker 5 And he wrote a little note on the back of it. So it's pretty cool.
That was awesome.

Speaker 8 That's very cool. So draft night came and went.
It was a weird night for all of us because we didn't know what to expect with, you know, every player was in their own homes.

Speaker 8 The, you know, all the pundits were spread out across America.

Speaker 8 For you, were you planning on going to Vegas for the draft, or were you planning on staying home all along?

Speaker 5 I was planning on going to Vegas. I kind of wanted to stay at home all along and kind of just have it with, you know, my close friends and family.

Speaker 5 But then I decided I shouldn't pass up a free trip to Vegas where I'm going to be the number one pick. I think that would have been pretty fun.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yeah, I would agree with that big time.
So what,

Speaker 3 how does it work now? Like, you got drafted. It's all so weird.

Speaker 3 You haven't even been to the facility, I assume, right?

Speaker 5 No, have not. Yeah, I'm just sitting at home about two and a half hours away.

Speaker 5 We're doing, so we had rookie minicamp last weekend, and then, you know, I think we start back up again May 11th or something like that for the virtual offseason.

Speaker 5 But yeah, we're not doing anything right now.

Speaker 3 That's crazy. So you're just sitting there and it's like...

Speaker 3 I don't mean to laugh, but it is kind of funny that you're the number one pick. You're a millionaire, multi-millionaire, and it's like, but your life is no different than everyone else's right now.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I've got to ask my parents if I can go to the grocery store to pick some stuff up.
You know, whatever I got, it's like I'm in high school again,

Speaker 5 quarantined in my house, and I have to ask my parents to do everything.

Speaker 8 Um, I read some story about the chain that you were wearing on draft night. Can you talk me through what that chain was?

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 5 yeah, so after the national championship game, Lil Boosie called me and he said he was going to get me a chain, um,

Speaker 5 you know, from for doing what we did, and it it got to me at uh at Super Bowl. Um, so that was pretty awesome.
It's uh, it's a pretty dope chain.

Speaker 3 Did you look at the schedule at all yet?

Speaker 5 I um,

Speaker 5 I haven't like dissected it.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's do that. Yeah, let's do that.
Let's do it. All right, let's do it.

Speaker 3 You start the season at home against the Rams or no, sorry, the Chargers. That's cool.
That's going to be a great uniform game. Um, I'm excited for that.
Then week two, you're going to Cleveland.

Speaker 3 After the game, will you be giving back the monopoly money to Odell?

Speaker 5 Maybe I should return the favor.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Just be like, here you go, Odell.
I've been holding on to this.

Speaker 3 I'm just going to hand it back to you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I finally have some money, so

Speaker 5 I can repay you now. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It was a loan all along. I'm trying to look.
What are the other notable? I mean, you got to go to Philly week three. You're going to get booed, maybe shit thrown at you.
Just be ready for that.

Speaker 8 On the road at the Ravens, that's going to be tough. You're going to have all those fans wearing the weird purple, black, silver camouflage pants there.

Speaker 3 Against the Colts, Phillip Rivers. So that will be a late game, fourth quarter, like really tight game.
That will be fun to watch. This is going to be a great

Speaker 3 nice schedules to start off.

Speaker 8 You play the Bengals. Or no, the Bengals play the Titans the day after Halloween.

Speaker 8 Might be a little bit of a hangover there for that one.

Speaker 3 And then you're, oh, you do have, you're making your Monday night debut, week 15 versus Pittsburgh. That's awesome.

Speaker 5 Yeah, hopefully, we can be in the playoff race for that one. That'll be fun Monday night.

Speaker 3 Nothing better than that.

Speaker 8 Yes. Have you practiced listening to Renegade, that song that they play during night games in Pittsburgh, to really get in your head?

Speaker 5 I don't think I have yet. I might have to go to sleep with that one on.

Speaker 8 I think that would be a good idea. Just get ahead of the game.
That's really the only, that's their secret weapon, is they play a song that they sing.

Speaker 5 Artists under people's skin, huh?

Speaker 3 Are you mad at all, Joe, that Chaz Kyle, USC starting quarterback, beat your record for most touchdown passes in a season?

Speaker 5 You know, I think Coach Doug started this season off pretty tough, so he's going to have to step it up. I think the boosters are pretty mad right now.

Speaker 3 I have a day game against FSU. We're going to run this tomorrow, so it's today now.
But I'm just saying, Chas Kyle, I think he had 65 touchdown passes. He also had 43 picks.

Speaker 3 Oh, my. But no risk-it, no biscuit.

Speaker 5 How many times did it throw the ball?

Speaker 3 A lot. A lot, a lot.
He had a seven-pick game, too. So

Speaker 3 that kind of hurt the stats.

Speaker 3 That's rough. That's real rough.

Speaker 5 That sounds almost entirely coaching.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yeah.
I don't know. Scheme, maybe a little.
It basically was the reverse of your semifinal game against Oklahoma. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 How are you at video games if you're playing as a quarterback in Madden or in NCAA football?

Speaker 5 So I'm much better at defense.

Speaker 3 Oh, he should be your defense.

Speaker 3 Help me. Yeah.
What do I do? What defense should I run?

Speaker 5 Free fire. The one with the Mike and Will blitzing every single time.
The Will comes free in the B-gap every single time. And you just play man-to-man.

Speaker 3 Okay. I like that.

Speaker 8 Just say, Big Gat, you just start to, you got to dial something up.

Speaker 3 Yep. I'm going to dial it up.
Every single time. I like to do double safety blitz and just be like, no, no, no, no.
Who cares?

Speaker 5 no free fire six man pressure the guy the linebacker on the right side and the B guide comes through comes through every time I'm telling you that was my secret did anyone ever accuse you over the course of this year of neglecting your B receiver

Speaker 5 I don't think I've ever been accused of neglecting that one no okay um so you guys drafted was it T.

Speaker 8 Higgins in the second round? Yep.

Speaker 8 Did you have to reach out to him and be like, hey, sorry for beating your ass so bad?

Speaker 5 There's been some occasional trash talk in the Zoom meetings,

Speaker 5 mainly from the coaches. You know, we're not quite

Speaker 5 to start that trash talk, but the coaches came out and said it.

Speaker 3 Okay. They kind of opened it up for you guys.
I like that. I like that.

Speaker 3 Do you have a bunch of Bengals gear yet?

Speaker 5 I do. Yeah.
They sent us a bunch.

Speaker 5 And, you know, we had some from a couple weeks before the draft, you know, just in case what we thought happened was going to happen.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. So they told you how, so they told you that they were going to pick you no matter what?

Speaker 5 No, they didn't, but, you know, I kind of just expected it to happen.

Speaker 3 What, were you, did you have any moment on draft day where you're like, what if shit just goes crazy and I just like falls?

Speaker 5 That's the crazy thing. Like.

Speaker 5 I fully expected

Speaker 5 and kind of knew that I was going number one,

Speaker 5 but that

Speaker 5 like three and a half minutes that they were on the clock was like the longest three minutes of my life. And I knew I was going to get taken.

Speaker 5 I knew they were going to call me, but it was still super long. And I texted my guys, I was like, yo, that was the longest three and a half minutes.

Speaker 5 I can only, I can't even imagine what you guys are about to go through. Like Clyde, who went 32, I was like, bro, how long did that feel? He's like, in eternity.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 What was the phone call like when you finally got it?

Speaker 5 No, it was, it was exciting. You know, it was probably would have been more exciting if, you know, I had no idea where I was going.
And,

Speaker 5 you know, it was a big surprise, but it was more along the lines of relief. You know, I'm glad this is over.
Let's finally start to get back to football. And

Speaker 5 instead of talking, we can get back on the field hopefully soon.

Speaker 8 When the Tiger King documentary came out, were you immediately like, oh, shit, everyone's going to call me Joe Exotic from now on?

Speaker 5 Yeah, kind of. I actually haven't watched it yet.

Speaker 5 I'm anti-animal in cage, so I'm not going to watch it, I don't think.

Speaker 3 Wait.

Speaker 3 What about Mike the Tiger?

Speaker 8 Let it slide. Let it slide, big cat.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know, I don't.

Speaker 5 Mike the Tiger is

Speaker 5 not my favorite part of campus.

Speaker 3 Oh, here comes the downfall of Joe Burrow's legacy in Baton Rouge. I like this.

Speaker 8 They do treat Mike better than they treat most humans in the United States.

Speaker 8 That's true.

Speaker 3 He gets a lot of love and care, but I actually agree with you. I like that.
I see your point.

Speaker 8 And it's probably for the best that you don't watch the Tiger King then, because that will be very, very upsetting.

Speaker 3 Very sad, yeah. Yeah, very traumatic.
Yes, yes. You can't have that.

Speaker 3 Do you know? I got to send you this clip. There's a guy who painted his house Bengal stripes and I think it goes that he's no, there was a guy who was living on the roof of his house.

Speaker 3 He was living on the roof of his house, but there's also a guy who painted his house Bengal stripes and was like, I'm not going to change this until

Speaker 3 we go back to the playoffs. There was a guy who's not going to stop living in the roof of his house until they won a game.

Speaker 3 Do you know that you have like this fan base now where you're going to have to deal with like two or three random bets a year where the person's like, I'm going to do this until Joe Burrow does this?

Speaker 3 Barry.

Speaker 5 Okay,

Speaker 5 was that the Bengals team that he that the dude like he was sleeping at the bar or something or yeah

Speaker 3 coming down.

Speaker 5 Yes, that was that was the Bengals?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 5 Well

Speaker 5 That's uh that's a tough situation. Hopefully we can get him down.

Speaker 3 Yes. Well, he's down.
No, he's down. They want to get down now.
Yeah, yeah, they want a game, but it won a game, not playoffs.

Speaker 3 But I think now that he's gotten that buzz, if you don't deliver, you're going to get more and more of these people being like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that.

Speaker 5 More hostage situations?

Speaker 8 Yeah. I'm going to adopt six baby tigers if Joe Burrow doesn't win six games this year.

Speaker 3 And my backyard's not that big. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 8 That's real tough.

Speaker 8 What's your haircut situation been like? Because that's one thing that has pissed me and Big Cat off about you is that you always look cool with that little swoop in your hair.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, how great my little curl is up there.

Speaker 8 You got the Clark Kink curl, which it's annoying because a lot of us can't do that with our hair. What's your haircut situation been like in in the quarantine?

Speaker 5 So I haven't got.

Speaker 5 So I was living in California for a couple months right after the season.

Speaker 5 And so I got one right before everything shut down, and I haven't got one since. So that was back in

Speaker 5 early March.

Speaker 3 So it's been a while. Yeah, you're going to look like a hippie.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 My dad is not happy. Yeah.

Speaker 5 My dad is not a fan of the long hair.

Speaker 8 Has he suggested that maybe he could could cut your hair or get your mom to cut your hair?

Speaker 5 No, no, he doesn't have suggested that, but he's he's trying to get me to go to his his guy here in Athens, Ohio. Um, I don't know about that one.

Speaker 3 Um, I had one last question. I went to your Twitter and you retweeted yourself getting buckets in high school.
Oh, yeah. How

Speaker 3 you look a little slow, not to like say anything mean, but like how how many how many buckets did you actually get? You actually do have a six shot, which isn't really wait, did you dunk?

Speaker 3 No, you didn't dunk yeah i didn't dunk in that video but i could i could dunk yeah okay yeah you didn't dunk in this video but you did get buckets were you how good of a basketball player were you uh when you played in high school i had a few offers coming out really

Speaker 5 yeah not a lot of i mean i was playing football and everyone knew it but you know my freshman and sophomore year i was you know, getting lightly recruited to play basketball.

Speaker 5 And, you know, for a while, I thought I was going to go to a smaller school school and play both

Speaker 8 I think that would have been a lot of fun yeah that would have been sick do you have anything to say about urban meyer because you went on Colin Coward's show and Coward confronted with the fact that he didn't recruit you to play at Ohio State do you think that Urban Meyer made a mistake in not recruiting you to play OSU

Speaker 5 oh man

Speaker 5 yeah people are funny people like to

Speaker 5 not do all the research that they can on some subjects before they talk about it.

Speaker 8 Not us. We just go through your Twitter timeline.
Yep.

Speaker 3 I just looked at it right there.

Speaker 5 There you go. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's perfect.

Speaker 3 Well, this has been fun. Thank you for joining us, as always.

Speaker 3 Good luck on, I don't know what even you say, like, what's the next step?

Speaker 8 So you have your virtual minicamp. What is virtual minicamp?

Speaker 5 It's basically just installs. So like we went through

Speaker 5 day one install for three days over Zoom. And then,

Speaker 5 you know, we're just gonna, it's just installing a playbook starting May 11th again.

Speaker 3 Um, super weird. So, day one install, but three days?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you guys sound slow,

Speaker 5 yeah. Um,

Speaker 5 you know, we spread it out a little bit, so we got all the information, and we got plenty of time to do all the Zoom meetings, so we made sure we got all the information in.

Speaker 8 Okay, did they send you like virtual reality goggles so you can take, you know, 3D reps?

Speaker 5 No, that'd be sick.

Speaker 8 That'd be sick. They should do that.

Speaker 3 You should just watch Coach Dougs, and I'll teach you a thing or two about football.

Speaker 5 You know, I watched about 15 minutes of it last night.

Speaker 3 Ah, and you,

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 so you had the ball down

Speaker 5 six with like three minutes left.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I panicked.

Speaker 5 You threw a post into a cover one safety.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I panicked.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well, in my defense, everyone was calling my starting running back Ricky Cheeks, Ricky Squeaks, Ricky Butt Cheeks, and that got my head.

Speaker 5 Oh, and I saw the video of the last play, and you choked on that one, too.

Speaker 3 Which one was that? Oh, yeah, when I choked, and I was like, I'm just going to run for it, and I was

Speaker 5 running for it, and you had the running back on the wheel out in the backfield wide open, and then you had Y on the shallow cross wide open on the scramble drill, and you decided to take a sack and throw the ball into the dirt.

Speaker 3 All right, well, I'm going to go 2-0 tomorrow, so I don't, maybe you tune into that one, okay? I'm going to go 2-0 tomorrow. Do you have a photographic memory?

Speaker 5 Something like that, yeah.

Speaker 3 It was

Speaker 3 something, if you know how to play football like Joe does, it was something you'll never forget because it was not bad.

Speaker 5 So, do you want to know the secret to NCAA Football 14?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 5 Just call, just so free fire on defense

Speaker 5 and then call four verticals every single play. And if the corners are playing off, just change it audible to a stop, and you get completion every single time.

Speaker 3 Okay,

Speaker 3 so i i agree with you for verticals every time but then you have to factor in the fact that if i run the same play multiple times i have the entire twitch chat stream calling me a fraud calling me dink and dougs just a lot of names and it gets in my head and then i'm like fuck it i'll do something different and then i throw okay

Speaker 5 see

Speaker 5 that's

Speaker 3 you might not be cut be cut out to be a head coach then fuck all right coordinator for life this interview's over this interview's over no it's true I mean, he's doing a good job questioning.

Speaker 8 You don't get these questions in Lubbock. You get the softballs from the media.

Speaker 3 This interview's over.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they just lob them up to you and you knock them out of the park.

Speaker 3 This interview's over. I'm going to go take the Ohio State job and cut you.

Speaker 3 Joe, I'm not going to ask you.

Speaker 5 Well, you're not going to get the Ohio State job if you're going six and six over there in Lubbock.

Speaker 8 Depends how bad the sanctions are.

Speaker 3 But maybe.

Speaker 8 I'm not going to ask you to incriminate yourself or LSU

Speaker 8 like we may or may not have done after the national championship victory, but I heard that you had a run-in with Carl Malone after the game.

Speaker 5 What was that? So it wasn't after the game. So we have, so it was our last Friday walkthrough.

Speaker 5 And the last thing we do before we walk off the field, we do

Speaker 5 these jump balls. You know, they play the

Speaker 5 high school basketball. They play that little boxing ring tape and the crowd starts going crazy and they play jump around and all that.

Speaker 5 So we get in a little circle and it's somebody new every week. And before the national championship game, it was Drew Brees and Carl Malone doing the jump ball.

Speaker 5 And when it, when it got jumped, five people jumped on Carl Malone's back to let Drew Brees get the jump ball, and everyone started going crazy.

Speaker 8 It was funny, that is crazy.

Speaker 3 I he looked like uh, he looked like Santa Claus that night, he had that huge beard, and he's just a beast of a man.

Speaker 5 Nobody recognized him. We just saw this tall, super tall human with a giant, you know, rural Louisiana beard.

Speaker 3 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then, and then they called, I called out Carl Malone to get in the middle of the circle. And we were like, oh,

Speaker 3 that's him. That's him.
Yeah, Dark Dynasty.

Speaker 3 All right. Well, Joe, thank you so much.

Speaker 3 Tune in tomorrow. Doug's redemption.
I'm going to fucking dominate. So

Speaker 3 don't you worry.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 3 All right. Thanks, man.
Thanks, man.

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Speaker 8 Getroman.com slash barstool, eligibility requirements and additional terms apply. And now, Mike Posner.

Speaker 5 And now for something something completely different.

Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest.

Speaker 3 He is a musician, recording artist, also a man who just completed a trip that we have to get into. It is Mike Posner.
Mike, thank you for joining us. Posner! Posner.
You said it wrong. Posner.

Speaker 3 I wrote it down, too. I actually wrote it down.
Mike Posner, P-O-H-Z-N-E-R. And I still fucked it up.
Posner. And I still, you know, when you do that?

Speaker 3 When you say something over and over in your head, and then you just fumble right at the goal line because you're like, all right, I knew it, but then I fucked it up.

Speaker 5 It's all gone. It's giving me a hard time.
It doesn't bother me at all.

Speaker 3 So what's up, man? Thanks for having me on. Yeah,

Speaker 3 it's good to have you on. Let's start with the trip because

Speaker 3 you walked across the country.

Speaker 5 I did. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 the real answer is...

Speaker 5 I just wanted to be somebody I was actually proud of. I wanted to become somebody I was actually proud of.
And

Speaker 5 so, a lot of people say, oh, you did that for a cause or something. Not really.
I wanted to do it. I wanted to look back on myself and be proud of myself.
And

Speaker 5 I feel that now when I think about the journey, I remember doing it.

Speaker 5 I don't think about it every day, but when somebody asked me about something, man, yeah, I fucking did that, you know, and so it gives me a lot of confidence in my life because it's really hard.

Speaker 5 It is horrible. you know

Speaker 5 my body felt horrible but uh but I did it anyways and so it gives me a lot of confidence and fulfillment and pride going forward in my life knowing that I did that really hard thing that I wasn't sure I could do and so

Speaker 5 it

Speaker 5 changed my life in more ways I can say but that's that's I hope I answer your question.

Speaker 3 No, it definitely answered my question. I had one follow-up though with it.
It sounds crazy and I'd love to learn about the logistics.

Speaker 3 Was there a part of you, though, that was a little disappointed that you didn't get like the publicity for it until you almost died?

Speaker 5 I got some publicity before. I would be on the news and stuff sometimes, but

Speaker 5 yeah, that was really interesting. You know, it's like, man, you get all these followers.
All these people want you to do guest appearance on their show and stuff.

Speaker 5 It's like, all you had to do was almost die. I literally made that same joke to my manager and stuff.

Speaker 3 That's when I found out. That's funny.

Speaker 3 when Jay-Z almost died. And I was like, oh, shit, he's walking across the country.
And credit to you, I learned that baby snakes are actually more dangerous than grown adult snakes.

Speaker 5 That's right. That's right.
I think it was Jay-Z to controversy sells, but it ain't like death.

Speaker 3 Uh-huh.

Speaker 8 Baby snakes,

Speaker 8 they don't know well enough to not use all their venom on you, right? So they just shoot you the fuck up.

Speaker 3 They literally don't know when to stop coming. So they just do it all in you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a whole game week for those baby rattlesnakes. When you got bit by something, they give you the full load.
Yeah, they give you the whole load. Did you, were you like, oh, this is bad?

Speaker 3 Did you know right away, like, this is going to be bad?

Speaker 5 No, so the thing bit me, I knew right away I was, I got bit by something.

Speaker 5 And so it just is, you know, this is all happening real fast, but just in slow motion, you know, it's like I got bit my ankle. I felt this pain, and I had the thought,

Speaker 5 I wonder what, I wonder what that was. And right after I had that thought, I heard,

Speaker 5 heard the rattle. So I said,

Speaker 5 you know, I was with a couple of guys. I said, I just got bit by a rattlesnake.
And it, you know, it hurt, but it didn't hurt that bad, the actual bite.

Speaker 5 So I'm just sitting there and I'm in the middle of nowhere at the time. We look at our phone, no service.
So one of the guys I'm with, he runs a little bit. He has a bar and he calls 911.

Speaker 5 And the lady's like, yeah, so I send a ambulance from the town you came from and the town you're headed towards so it's two ambulances coming towards you and a helicopter whatever gets there first get in it and uh i'm sitting there you know i'm kind of joking around the guys around me a little bit nervous and uh

Speaker 5 and uh i'll try to keep the mood light and it doesn't hurt that bad but then about five ten minutes passed and the the poison started to go through my body i guess went to my brain and it just felt like

Speaker 5 the,

Speaker 5 you remember Looney Tunes where it go

Speaker 5 get smaller like this?

Speaker 3 And that's all, folks.

Speaker 5 It felt like that. It was just darkness getting closing in.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 5 I just felt like I was fading. Now, it kind of happened like that.
And I'd snap out of it. I was like, I wake up.
And then I realized, like, you know, this ain't a fucking beasting.

Speaker 5 And, you know, like, you could maybe die today. And I asked the lady on the 911 layers, am I going to die?

Speaker 5 She said, I don't know can't tell you that sir so I just I waited an ambulance came they took me to the hospital basically gave me all the anti-venom they had and then

Speaker 5 I used it all up so they they put me in a chopper to another hospital where they had more more of that medicine and I thought you know you get that anti-venin I thought I'd be back walking the next day but it was a much bigger deal than that my my legs swolled up you know super big and I couldn't I couldn't even get to the walk to the bathroom you know I was walking 24 miles a day at that point I couldn't walk to the bathroom they gave me a walker and stuff I was in the hospital five days then I went home to Michigan and healed about another two weeks just did all the PT it got to the point where I was walking like

Speaker 5 eight miles at home And I said, all right, it's time to go back out there. That was actually the hardest part.
People say, oh, that must have been the hardest part. You got bit by a snake.

Speaker 5 That was the easiest part because I was in the trenches. You know, it's August.
It's hot as fuck. I'm out there sweating every day, all alone.
Hard to sleep at night because it's so hot.

Speaker 5 And then I get bit by a snake. I'm in air conditioning.
This nurse is around, you know, it's like I have a nice bed. That was easy.

Speaker 5 What was hard was when I got better and I'm at home and everyone's fucking spoiling me. Like you said,

Speaker 5 I'm all of a sudden Mr. Popular because I almost died, you know.

Speaker 5 and I gotta, I gotta come to grips with myself and say, hey, motherfucker, you're better. You know, it's time to stop letting people cook dinner for you.

Speaker 5 You gotta go back out there and finish what you started. And so, you know, that to me is the only real point of this story is that I got my ass back on a plane, flew to Colorado.

Speaker 5 I'm sitting there flying over these states looking like I walked this whole fucking way.

Speaker 5 Like I walked longer than this flight. And so then I get off the plane almost like I'm going to a weigh game, man.

Speaker 5 I got a hoodie on get off that plane and I go back to the same spot that that fucker bit me and I walked a thousand more miles to finish my journey.

Speaker 8 So that's kind of fucked up that the dispatcher didn't tell you you're going to live. Like what's the harm in telling you you're going to live even if you end up dying?

Speaker 5 I actually disagree with you, man. Like if you don't know, I think if someone is, if I'm going to die, I want to know the truth.
You know, most people do not die from snake bites in America.

Speaker 5 We have the medicine and the infrastructure to get people to the medicine,

Speaker 5 but occasionally they do if they're in a really remote place, like I sort of was, you know.

Speaker 5 But if you're up way high on a mountain, you're six miles into a hike, you know, you get bit by one of those things and you don't have service, like

Speaker 5 you're man.

Speaker 3 So, this may be a fucked up question, but let's just say you did die and you got buried in Detroit.

Speaker 3 How many,

Speaker 3 how much would that song blow up and like make your family money after the fact? Like you have to at least think about that.

Speaker 3 You've given your family a really nice going away present to be buried in Detroit. And everyone's like, oh, dude, the song Buried in Detroit is awesome.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't know how big it would get in my death, you know?

Speaker 8 That would have been a great time to fake your own death.

Speaker 8 If you haven't had a good fake death for a while, just like pull the wall over America's eyes for two weeks, fake it to the top of the iTunes charts, and then be like, hey, I'm back.

Speaker 8 Thanks for the money.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but then people would be so mad. Your career would be over after that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 8 Did you, um, did it? Did the thought occur to you? Maybe we should do the thing where we just suck on the wound and spit the blood out because that works.

Speaker 5 We asked all about that.

Speaker 5 You're not supposed to do that. That's like an old thing.
But the thing is, they don't have that much research on

Speaker 5 snake bites because

Speaker 5 you can't just like,

Speaker 5 you know, get a bunch of people bit by snakes and treat them all different way it's a pretty rare thing i think 8 000 a year in the u.s so

Speaker 5 they don't some they know anti-venom works beyond that you know some people say they used to say tie a tourniquet so the venom doesn't get up

Speaker 5 Now they say they don't do that because the poison just sits in wherever you got bit and you get necrosis.

Speaker 5 So they don't have a lot of a lot of research on what exactly to do beyond the anti-venom works.

Speaker 5 Get it as fast as possible.

Speaker 8 So, when you're on the road, when you're doing this walk across America, you said you're walking 24 miles a day. That seems like a lot.

Speaker 8 Were you writing songs at the time? Did it help you creatively?

Speaker 5 I expected I was going to be writing a ton, and I actually didn't write much at all. Maybe a few ideas here and there, not even full songs, just melodies and stuff.

Speaker 5 Sometimes I'd just be struck. It may sound corny, but by how beautiful the birds and everything would sound around me.
And I would just record that with my phone.

Speaker 5 So I have all these recordings, like voice notes of like Delaware, not Delaware, I didn't walk in Delaware, Pennsylvania,

Speaker 5 Missouri was a crazy one,

Speaker 5 Kansas, Colorado, etc.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I use these in my songs sometimes. Sometimes it's inaudible.
I'm talking about the songs I'm making now. You know, I'm making songs right now all the time.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But sometimes I put them in there and sometimes I just turn it down all the way. You can't even hear it.
But just the feeling is in there.

Speaker 3 So I'm curious. Your career is fascinating to me because you had obviously the rise.

Speaker 3 And then it feels like you've had moments where you've been very open about the trappings of fame and resisting that.

Speaker 3 At what point were you like go from, I'm grinding, I'm grinding, I'm grinding, I want to be a hit to realizing, oh man, maybe this isn't everything that I want.

Speaker 5 I think probably after

Speaker 5 probably after

Speaker 5 first hit, you know, I thought, I really thought

Speaker 5 I would feel more secure of myself having attained the success I wanted in my life. You know, I was always like, have my heroes that have platinum plaques and stuff.

Speaker 5 I thought once I get that, I'll feel better about myself because I'll be proud of it. And

Speaker 5 what I noticed was, you know, know, I was making more money, I was more popular, I was having more sex,

Speaker 5 but my experience of life really, really was exactly the same. It wasn't worse, it wasn't better, it was just the same.

Speaker 5 And I thought in my head, in my dream, that I would get this success, this popularity, and

Speaker 5 I would be happier. I'll be more secure as a human.
I just wasn't, you know. And so

Speaker 5 there was a

Speaker 5 large amount of disillusionment that went along with that. And

Speaker 5 ever since then,

Speaker 5 I feel like I've had the privilege to be able to ask, okay, if not that,

Speaker 5 then what?

Speaker 5 What are we doing here? What am I doing here? And that's what my life has been about really the past eight years.

Speaker 5 I feel like my fans have gifted me the opportunity to go explore and ask those questions. And I just report back what I learned.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so

Speaker 8 your rise was kind of interesting, too.

Speaker 8 Before you got there, when you were down at Duke, you figured out a way to game the iTunes system before anybody else really did, the way that your mixtape popped up on iTunes U.

Speaker 8 Can you explain kind of how you were able to do that?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you did a deep dive. Where are you from, man?

Speaker 8 I'm from the East Coast. So I went to school in Virginia, and I remember when you were coming coming up because like iTunes.

Speaker 8 I'm 35.

Speaker 8 Okay. So iTunes

Speaker 8 was just lectures. I went to James Madison.

Speaker 5 So basically, iTunes at the time had created this

Speaker 5 section of iTunes called iTunes You that was designed for professors to put their lectures up for free.

Speaker 5 So, you know, maybe a professor from your school, James Madison, they do, they do a course, a lecture on whatever macroeconomics. I'm at Duke.
I can pull it up and watch it and learn.

Speaker 5 That's what it was designed for. Well, so each school had somebody that

Speaker 5 was in charge of their iTunes U. And

Speaker 5 at Duke, it was a guy named Todd Stabley. And so I hit him up.
And Todd Stabley, he happened to be from Southfield, Michigan, which is where I'm from.

Speaker 5 It was a huge catalyst for people hearing my music. So Todd Stabley, he put my mixtape a matter of time on there.
And I just would send the links to all my homies. I was in fraternity at the time.

Speaker 5 All my brothers, they sent the links out to their friends that were at different schools.

Speaker 5 I sent the link to the iTunes link to all my friends that I went to high school with that were at other schools. And before I knew it, I was sort of like the underground king of

Speaker 5 every college in America. Like, not super famous, but I could,

Speaker 5 you know, I spent the next year or two playing damn near every college in America and and well, people would know the words to that mixtape and it just spread like that.

Speaker 8 Um, the song took a pill and a beza.

Speaker 3 What pill was it?

Speaker 5 I honestly don't know. So the story with that is I had I had that first hit.
It was my song Cooler Than Me that I recorded at Duke became this big big hit all over the world.

Speaker 5 I'm going all over the place.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I thought it was never gonna end I thought because it was my first single I thought oh that's just what happens when I put out singles they're fucking gigantic you know

Speaker 5 and each song put out after that was kind of like a little bit smaller and then eventually my career just kind of ground to a halt man my record label uh shelved me

Speaker 5 uh so I was still making all these albums but they wouldn't put them out because they just didn't you know my everything was trending downward and they couldn't justify spending the marketing money and paying all the producers when they didn't think they would get a return.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 so, you know, there's still this, there's still a huge hole in my career. If you go in my discography, my first album's 2010 and my second one's 2016.
There's a huge hole in there.

Speaker 5 But I made two albums, but

Speaker 5 they're just sitting on my fucking laptop. I haven't been able to release them.

Speaker 3 Release them?

Speaker 5 I don't own them. That label owns them.

Speaker 3 release them on the podcast right now.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's a good way to get sued.

Speaker 5 Or your podcast, at least, going to get taken.

Speaker 3 Are there any like certified, like, you know, there's a hit on there that's just sitting there?

Speaker 5 No, there were hits. There were the song Boyfriend that I end up selling to Justin Bieber was on there.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay. That's a hit.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then the song Sugar that I end up selling to Maroon 5, because they're on different labels, they were on there.

Speaker 3 So, yeah.

Speaker 5 That's there were there were definitely his, yeah,

Speaker 5 but anyways, so I'm just kind of sitting there like, look, you see what's happening, right? Like, these songs are dope, you know,

Speaker 5 but uh, at the same time, it's a business, so I understand it, anyways. Um, my career is as I'm ice cold, I'm ice cold, man.

Speaker 5 I'm sitting in my house, I made a few million bucks, and my schedule's empty, and I'm just sitting there like,

Speaker 5 what the fuck do I do now? What the fuck do I do now?

Speaker 5 And I just realized, man, I still love making music. I still do to this day.
I wish you could see all my gear set up. I got my microphone.
I just record the same way on this computer as I did at Duke.

Speaker 5 I just love this shit. But Avici, Tim,

Speaker 5 is one of the things I really loved about him is he didn't give a fuck where you were on the charts. Like, if he liked your music, he liked your music, he wanted to work with you.

Speaker 5 So he actually sent me,

Speaker 5 levels. You guys know levels, yeah.

Speaker 5 He sent me levels like years before that when Cooler than Me was out, and he was like, It was just the instrumental, it didn't have the sample yet.

Speaker 5 And he said, You know, he wanted me to write a song to it. I wrote a few songs to it, they weren't that good, honestly.
I didn't knock it out of the park, so he didn't use them.

Speaker 3 And uh, and he ended up putting up, whoa, sometimes I get a good feeling anyway.

Speaker 5 So, that's how our relationship started.

Speaker 5 But now, I'm ice cold, but he didn't care, so he said, man i want to work with you for my next album come come to stockholm so i flew over to sweden and like i said i had nothing else to do man so i was like you know we had i think two three days in the studio i was like i'm not flying all the way there for just two three days i'll hang around like

Speaker 5 explore sweden a little bit and i knew he had some shows coming up in the visa So in the back of my head, I'm like, yo, he'll probably let me come to the show. Let's see that if I ask.

Speaker 5 So in the studio, I'm like, yo, yo, can I roll to the show in the visa? Next one, he was like, yeah, yeah, for sure, man. Just meet us down there, we'll take care of you.

Speaker 5 So I went down there like the day before.

Speaker 5 I was just alone, man. It was like the most depressing.
Like, you don't go to Vegas alone, right? You know, it's like you don't go to a visa alone.

Speaker 5 I went to a visa alone. I'm sitting there.
Everybody's having fun with all their friends.

Speaker 5 It was very depressing, man. And he gets there next day.
he has his big gig

Speaker 5 and um

Speaker 5 he started playing and there's a million people there

Speaker 5 and uh and he played this song that we wrote the a few days before in the studios called stay with you it never came officially but you can you can find like bootlegs on online if anyone cares and uh

Speaker 5 I was real jealous, man. It was when I still drank.
I haven't drank for like seven years. Stop drinking about seven, eight years ago.
But at that time, I was still drinking, I was drunk.

Speaker 5 And I'm looking up there, and I was just so sad. They playing my song, and Tim was up there killing it.
I just wanted to be up there, man. And it was over for me.
Like, my chance, that's the line.

Speaker 5 Like,

Speaker 5 I'm just a singer who already blew a shot. Like, that was my real life, man.

Speaker 5 You know, people think it's a...

Speaker 5 you know, becoming this song that people have joy to, and that's great. But this shit was really real for me at that time

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 5 um it's not a good feeling and so

Speaker 5 I just kind of walked like wandering around the audience man like with my hymn playing my song and and then these guys came up to me and they say you Mike Posner

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 5 yeah exactly and in this sort of perverted way I felt better that like somebody recognized me which I'm not even proud to say but that's how I felt.

Speaker 5 And like I said, I was already drunk and they had held this plastic bag and they were like, man, you want one of these?

Speaker 5 I was like, yeah, fuck it. And

Speaker 5 I just took it. I didn't even know what it was.
And

Speaker 5 I felt high. And then the next day, I felt like death.
That's why Saul says when I finally got sober, I felt 10 years older.

Speaker 5 And,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 that's really the story.

Speaker 5 It was a very stupid thing to do in hindsight, you know, just like be drunk and then take some drugs from a stranger, you know. But that's what I did.
And

Speaker 5 that was really the despair from which I wrote that song. I didn't write the song for another, I think, two, three years after that,

Speaker 5 when I sort of had some context in my life about what that meant. And I just thought it was interesting.
You know, everybody wants to talk about how their rise

Speaker 5 to fame and how to kill.

Speaker 5 they're either you know 90 of the songs out either talk about how the person's blowing up or how they blow they're blown up and they're fucking killing it right now yeah and i wasn't man i was on the other side i had blown up was killing it and now i wasn't killing it anymore and that was really interesting to me i thought i want to write a song about that and so um i did when that comes out and it's like uh a song of the summer so to speak is that a really cool feeling when you go around and you see people are like this is what's making people happy they're partying to this they're having a great time because there's something about summertime music that just hits different than all other music and it's something special yeah it was it was it's always cool man you know now i'm at the point in my career where i have had i think five or six platinum songs um Really, two of them been mine.

Speaker 5 And then I've written, like we talked about, some for other people.

Speaker 5 It's always cool.

Speaker 5 and i'm a writer man like jay-z said i'm a biter i'm a writer for myself and others and so you know in the last two weeks i've written like 20 songs so you never know which one's going to be popular you know and it's just it's just interesting it's a blessing it's cool it's like less than one percent of the songs i write are hits like that and you just it's you just be happy for it you know um

Speaker 5 it's interesting because sometimes you're like really that one that's the one that's gonna get popular okay it you know but um yeah it was it's really cool you know for for for me to take my despair my sadness at that time like i just talked to you about

Speaker 5 and create what i think is something beautiful out of it that's what art is supposed to be and then if somebody can get joy

Speaker 5 out of my despair, I really did my job. That's the holy grail of an artist.

Speaker 5 You know, you could, you, you know, like my friend NQ, the poet says, yeah, that's alchemy. You turn a suffering into happiness.
I turn my suffering and someone else's happiness.

Speaker 5 That's that's a beautiful thing, and yeah, I'm proud of it. It's great.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that happens.

Speaker 8 Uh, when you're growing up, were you a pretty good basketball player?

Speaker 3 No, I wish, man, you're on a good AAU team, though, right?

Speaker 8 Me, yeah, weren't you on a good AAU team?

Speaker 5 No, no, I wish, man, I wish. Uh, I didn't play AU.
I play up to JV. I was very short.
I didn't grow until I was like 18, really 19.

Speaker 5 And man, basketball is a big fucking deal where I grew up, you know? Like, it was like social capital. You know, it's like it didn't really matter as much if you were like good looking.

Speaker 5 It more mattered if like you could hoop, like you were cool,

Speaker 5 you know.

Speaker 5 And so I loved basketball. You know, I used to sleep with my boss if I was not very good, though.

Speaker 3 Not as good as I was.

Speaker 8 So you get to Duke, and at the time that you're at duke the team's pretty good obviously duke basketball is a major thing were you running in the same circles as a basketball team as like the only cool like 10 people on campus

Speaker 5 uh well

Speaker 5 they kind of helped me help me start my career you know so i went to the i went to school with uh like nolan smith john john shire Kyle single, Kyle Singler, Gerald Henderson.

Speaker 5 Those guys are all kind of my age. And

Speaker 5 they were so supportive of me, man. I was just, I was just a short little Jewish kid, you know, making shit in my dorm room.

Speaker 5 I don't consider myself a cool person. I wasn't then.
I just like, I like doing my, doing my art, man. And I started to put the stuff out.

Speaker 5 People always ask, like, you know, was it crazy for you on campus? People like, yeah, look at you like a star. Nah.
Because I was, I was, I went to school there three years at this point.

Speaker 5 And the kids there started my whole career including the basketball team so it was through them they shared the music with their other friends and i go to other schools and kind of i guess my reputation got bigger than myself and so it would kind of be that vibe when i go someplace else but at duke everybody already knew me two three years and it was just a really beautiful time I was uh I signed a record deal after my my junior year came back from my senior year I just kind of had two lives I go to school during the week, and then on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I get on planes.

Speaker 5 I hit usually three different colleges playing at first for at parties. And then, as my career progressed, like the schools themselves would book me.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I was tour managing myself. I did everything the whole show is myself.
I DJ for myself. And I come back to school and do it again, man.

Speaker 3 I found an old Rolling Stones article you did 10 years ago.

Speaker 5 Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 25

Speaker 3 things you don't know about Mike

Speaker 3 positively. They all changed, bro.
That's why I wanted to bring it up. That's why I want to bring it up because I want to see what changed.
So we're just going to go rapid fire.

Speaker 3 I mean, a couple of these haven't changed. You still have two middle names, I assume.

Speaker 3 So we'll just go rapid fire. I want to hear what has changed.
You said, I'm scared of dogs that bark loudly.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I had to get over that shit on the walk, though, bro.

Speaker 5 I had dogs chasing me and stuff, you know?

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 5 I was carrying dog spray and I had to fucking

Speaker 3 stuff a couple of them.

Speaker 8 What goes into dog spray?

Speaker 3 It's just air, right? Yeah, there's air that you can blow and dogs are like, oh, never mind.

Speaker 5 No, I don't know. I think it's more than air, you know.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 8 Dog spray. Okay.
Superman is whack. Do you still think Superman's whack?

Speaker 5 I don't think they have such a strong opinion on the matter anymore, but

Speaker 5 I know where I was coming from.

Speaker 5 Like, as far as superheroes he kind of just had every power so it's kind of like lame to me yeah that's fair uh you said i do not own a television yeah that's still true well there's one i'm renting this place and there's a tv here but i don't watch tv i never have since um since i left my parents house wow yeah i missed a lot what do you like culture what do you i mean i watch some stuff on my computer and stuff but i make music you know

Speaker 5 i make music you know so i figure if i get a tv i'm gonna use the tv if i get it and i don't i don't want to

Speaker 5 i i want to make more music i don't want to watch more tv you know it's not a goal of mine

Speaker 8 okay here's another one my favorite animal is the white tiger is that stuff true yeah

Speaker 3 okay that's good uh it says i do not carry a cell phone do you still not have a cell phone no i have a cell phone all right that's a good change that's a good change too much yeah i wish I didn't, man.

Speaker 5 I need to get rid of that thing. Good lord.

Speaker 8 Your favorite movie is it still Donnie Darko?

Speaker 5 Nah, probably not.

Speaker 8 That's a big college movie.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I used to have a Donnie Dark. I was like, when I thought I was cool when I got my record, yeah, I bought a Donnie Darko chain.

Speaker 5 And it had like ice in it. I got it made.

Speaker 3 That is cool.

Speaker 8 It was kind of hard. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 5 I don't know what my favorite movie is now, man.

Speaker 3 Okay, look.

Speaker 3 The last one I have is,

Speaker 3 you said I only wear black socks.

Speaker 5 I wear some white socks now, man.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's true. Yeah, so you're evolving as a human.
Yeah, for sure, man. For sure.

Speaker 8 My last one is that you have a big crush on Natalie Portman. Is that true?

Speaker 5 Nah, I did then.

Speaker 5 She's a grown woman. She's married now.
I think I had some kids.

Speaker 3 Okay. You got to know.
Let that one go.

Speaker 5 Let that one go.

Speaker 3 Nice. Nice.

Speaker 3 Well, this has been awesome, man. We really appreciate you joining us.

Speaker 5 Thank you guys so much. Thanks, man.

Speaker 3 Stay safe. Appreciate it, Mike.
Be well.

Speaker 8 Take care of yourself. See ya.

Speaker 11 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 11 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 11 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 11 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's finish up with our Mount Flushmore. By the way, we are going to get back to documentary reviews next week.
Let's just say this right now so that we don't miss it.

Speaker 3 We're going to do Ronnie Coleman the King. So you can watch it on YouTube, Google Play, Netflix, Amazon Prime.
Ronnie Coleman, if you don't know Ronnie Coleman, he's a legend of the game. Lightweight.

Speaker 3 Ain't nothing but a peanut. He was

Speaker 3 a, I think Mr. Olympia, whatever that thing is.
Basically the strongest guy ever.

Speaker 8 Is it a strongman competition or is he a bodybuilder?

Speaker 3 He's a bodybuilder. So

Speaker 3 all-time hilarious guy.

Speaker 3 He was a YouTube like phenom back in the day. And I think he had some health issues.
issues, so it's kind of a serious retrospective thing, but I think there'll be also some funny moments and things.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Mr. Olympia eight times.
McDonald's guy? No, Ronnie Coleman. What? He like ate McDonald's every day or something.
I don't know if he's the guy who says lightweight.

Speaker 3 Everyone wants to be a weightlifter, but nobody wants to lift that heavy-ass weight. I guess I'll find out if that's what I'm talking about when I watch a documentary.
So watch it next Friday.

Speaker 3 We're giving you a full week. Watch it on Netflix.
Ronnie Coleman, the king. All right.
Let's finish up with Mount Flushmore.

Speaker 3 Also, a note, we have an awesome interview coming Monday after the last dance. We have Tim Grover, who I think is featured heavily in episodes seven and eight.

Speaker 3 It is Michael Jordan's trainer, longtime trainer for like 15 plus years. So we have an awesome interview coming with him on Monday.
Get ready for that. Mount Flushmore

Speaker 3 of

Speaker 3 injuries. No, minor injuries.

Speaker 8 Minor injuries. So obviously decapitation would be on the Mount Flushmore of injuries, but we're talking like minor inconveniences here.
The worst minor inconvenience.

Speaker 3 Yeah. All right, am I going first and then Hank?

Speaker 8 You're going first then Hank.

Speaker 3 All right, I'll just go with the basic bitch answer, but it does suck beyond belief. Stubbing your toe.
Okay. Stubbing your toe is the fucking worst.
There's just nothing worse than you, and you know

Speaker 3 that

Speaker 3 two seconds where you stub your toe and you haven't gotten the pain yet, and you're like, this is going to be bad. It's coming.
And then it happens.

Speaker 8 The follow-up injury to stubbing your toe, which almost makes it worse, is you have to bend over and take a look at your toe later. And that sucks.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And you're just like, and and you're walking with a little limp. And it's also not something anyone can, when you stub your toe, no one's like, oh, man, I'm so sorry.
They're like, you're an idiot.

Speaker 3 You don't know how to walk.

Speaker 3 Or if you get, yeah, you stub your toe so bad that your nail like starts to fall off and you just have to.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3 There's nothing you can do about it. You can go to the doctor and they're going to be like, There's nothing I can do.
So that means it's not major.

Speaker 3 It's just like, oh, just wait three weeks and watch your toe turn purple and then the nail's going to fall off and it's going to look like a disgusting like baby for and then another three weeks till it comes back.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 8 Does anything with nails in general just freak me out?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Dropping your phone on your face.

Speaker 3 Does that happen often?

Speaker 3 No, but I mean it's it's if whenever it does happen, it's like the most embarrassing thing because you're usually super, super lazy and you're just lying and your phone's directly above you and it like will either hurt your tooth or like hurt your nose where you're hitting the nose you want to cry and you're just like I'm A, the laziest piece of shit, and I'm clumsy.

Speaker 8 And so it's bad. That's a combination of not only is your face hurt, but your pride's hurt.
Right. Because it's like the dumbest way to hurt yourself.

Speaker 3 That just triggered another one in my mind. I could go like 10 rounds deep in this.
All right, PFT, you're two.

Speaker 8 Okay, getting the wind knocked out of you.

Speaker 3 Okay. It's awful.

Speaker 8 It's just a terrible feeling. And there's nothing you can do to fix it.
You just have to wait and look like an idiot and breathe deeply. It doesn't even.

Speaker 3 Go into the fart stance.

Speaker 8 It doesn't even really hurt that much. It's just like everyone looks at you and you're like, oh, is that guy dying? No, I just got hit.
Can't breathe.

Speaker 8 I accidentally didn't catch a basketball that was passed to me. Yes.
The second one is the jam finger. It is the cousin of the stubbed toe.

Speaker 8 If you're playing a sport, you jam your finger, you can't use that hand for the next probably 15 minutes

Speaker 8 at 100%. It's just annoying.
It's one of those where you look at it and you're like, this is going to suck because it's going to swell up. It's going to turn purple.
It's going to look weird.

Speaker 8 And it's all because I didn't know how to catch something.

Speaker 3 The jam finger is really bad. And then, even going deeper into the jam finger,

Speaker 3 the

Speaker 3 16-inch-inch softball jam finger is especially bad. So, in Chicago, and I think in Milwaukee, too, 16-inch softball, no gloves.

Speaker 3 And it's if you get, like, guys will literally have fingers that just look like

Speaker 3 Isaac Bruce. Yeah, or yeah, just mangled everywhere

Speaker 3 because they played softball.

Speaker 3 Burning your hand with oil while you're cooking, or like bacon, like bacon grease or whatever, where it just pops out of the pan and lands on your hand, and it just, like, when you shower or run it underwater, it burns really bad.

Speaker 8 If you had a Lodge Cookware cast iron, that wouldn't be a problem for you, Hank. Lodge cookware, the number one brand and cast iron cookware.

Speaker 3 Good one, Hank. I can't believe this one actually is a cast iron.
Those are just big, it's just like 300 pounds. Big ass, yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah, it's something that your grandmother gives you, and she's like, you can use this pan for 100 years.

Speaker 3 It's the thing you burn your hands on because you try to grab it and you don't realize that the whole thing is a pan.

Speaker 3 Yep. Sucks.

Speaker 3 I don't have one. But the cool part about cast iron, the way to clean it is you boil water on it and it's cool to watch.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 You don't put soap on it. Yeah, it's very cool.
But then you also have to like rub oil on it afterwards and then get it hot.

Speaker 3 It's a little maintained.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 8 once you turn 30, you start baking bread and seasoning your cast iron pans. It gets weird.

Speaker 3 All right. I can't believe this one lasted, but the nut shot.
Getting hit in the nuts is, I mean, it's the worst. There's no worse feeling than the minor injury of getting hit in the nuts.
And then...

Speaker 3 Even worse, kind of, is when like getting hit in the nuts is getting hit in the nuts. It's worse when you get like slightly tapped in the nuts and then you you know it's going to set in like

Speaker 3 same as a stumped toe. Yeah, where you're like, all right, this is fine, this is fine.
Oh, it's not fine.

Speaker 3 And then you'll have that, you know, when you get hit in the nuts, you're fine, but you have that uncomfortable feeling in your nuts for like probably eight hours where you're like, you go to pee and you're like, am I going to pee blood?

Speaker 3 You're never peeing blood, but it always sucks.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it's also one of those injuries where when it happens, you've got everybody that witnessed it laughing at you. Yeah.
So it's even worse. It's like, I'm in an excruciating amount of pain.

Speaker 8 Everyone knows it, but it's still really fucking funny.

Speaker 3 Yes. All right.

Speaker 3 My third pick is going to be hungover knees when you get a really bad hangover and your knees are achy and your legs are achy and that like achy that you get in your body from a hangover.

Speaker 8 To me, that's the neck.

Speaker 3 Okay, so yeah, so I guess

Speaker 3 I'll say hangover aches. So it's everywhere.
It's whatever your body has that is like specific to a hangover, that injury sucks.

Speaker 3 I've heard ankles, I've heard knees, I've heard, you know, necks, arms, whatever. Just your body's body's like, yo, dude, you fucked up real bad.
You drank too much, and now we're going to punish you.

Speaker 8 Do you think it's because of like you exert yourself a little bit more when you're drunk, or is it because you sleep funny? I always thought that I slept funny at night.

Speaker 8 That's why my neck felt weird in the morning.

Speaker 3 I think there's the knees I get just from, I don't, it's probably just lack of like fluids, but there is something to be said about waking up and having a very specific injury and knowing that it was something you did.

Speaker 8 That describes my broken foot. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I will go with

Speaker 3 when you're taking a shit and your legs fall asleep and you go to stand up and then you fall over.

Speaker 3 Yep. Pretty bad.
Yep. It's also, it's right up there with the pride.

Speaker 3 Like, it's one thing, it hurts, but you're also like lying on the floor with your pants down, and you're just like, well, how did I get here?

Speaker 8 That's how you know it was a good shit, though, if your legs fall asleep, both of them.

Speaker 3 Yes. Or you just got really bored on your phone.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, Pifty, your last two.

Speaker 8 Okay, my last two. I definitely had hitting the balls on there.
I'm going to go go skin knee. You skin your knee,

Speaker 8 you're playing a sport, you get that little rug burn on it, and then every single time you go into the shower for the next probably two weeks, that shit burns, and it never heals.

Speaker 8 Skin knees and elbows never heal. Yep.
And then my last one is going to be, I'm going to go with a paper cut. A paper cut on your hand.

Speaker 8 If you find, you forget about a paper cut on your hand, too. It hurts when it initially happens, but then you go out, you eat buffalo wings, and all of a sudden

Speaker 3 after paper cuts.

Speaker 8 It feels weird. No, it could be two days later.
It feels just as bad as the second that you cut it.

Speaker 3 Yep. Yep.
I agree. I will go with elbow to the nose.
It's kind of basketball specific, but it happens just in the course of the game, but you just get hit in the nose.

Speaker 3 You want to cry, and then you have to deal with the fact that you're crying and you're hurt, but you have to just keep running. Good time to remind people that

Speaker 3 people don't believe me, but I've never had a bloody nose in my entire life. And I've been hit hard in a drink.
Not a drug nose. Never had a bloody nose.

Speaker 3 I just don't think my nose can bleed.

Speaker 8 You want to find out?

Speaker 3 I've been hit very hard in the nose.

Speaker 8 What was the hardest you ever got hit?

Speaker 3 I've been hit elbowed in the nose playing basketball as hard as you can get elbowed in the nose.

Speaker 8 Have you ever noticed that when LeBron James gets hit in his nose, he blinks a lot. He gets into like turbo blink.
In your eyes, yeah.

Speaker 3 Turbo blink mode. All right,

Speaker 3 my last pick, this is actually one that I thought of, Hank, when you said the phone to the face.

Speaker 3 The

Speaker 3 misjudging of a beer bottle. to your teeth and being like, oh my God, I just shattered all of my teeth.
And you don't usually shatter, you don't shatter your teeth.

Speaker 3 But that feeling of, holy fuck, there go my entire grill.

Speaker 3 And that happens probably once a year. We just kind of, you just misjudge it.

Speaker 8 Just getting hit in the mouth with anything is bad.

Speaker 3 Oh, your teeth is just so sensitive. And you're like, fuck.

Speaker 8 You see this little circle scar right here on my chin? Yeah. I got that from not catching a beer can, a full beer can.
That's what happened. Cut me with a perfect circle.

Speaker 3 The teeth thing is

Speaker 3 also the fear of how long it's going to take to get it better. You know, when you have an injury and it's not even the hurt, it's more like, well, now I'm going to have to go to the dentist.

Speaker 3 Like, that's way worse than actually losing a tooth.

Speaker 8 And your initial thought is, I don't even know if my shitty dental insurance covers getting hit in the teeth or something.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like I've lived in New York for four years now and I've never been to a dentist.

Speaker 8 That kind of thing. Yeah, my dentist, not only, in addition to fixing my fucked up mouth, is going to judge me for not flossing three times.

Speaker 3 All right. Missed the cut.
I had

Speaker 3 water in the ear or ears not being able to pop after an airplane.

Speaker 8 Very tough.

Speaker 3 Very shocking. Very, very tough.
Water in the ear. That's not really an injury, though.
Oh, yeah. Time is.
Yeah. No.
Swimmers are. I mean, dropping your phone on your face isn't it?

Speaker 3 These are minor injuries. That's an injury.

Speaker 8 Water in your ear. Why is it? Why is water in your ear not an injury? Because

Speaker 3 it is. Uh-huh.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Big time.

Speaker 3 But you don't know when it occurred. So it's probably

Speaker 8 in the water.

Speaker 3 But you you couldn't pinpoint it. Like when I

Speaker 3 sometimes you injured, absolutely not. When I injure my face with my phone, I can pinpoint the exact point the injury happened.

Speaker 3 If you can't pinpoint the water, you can feel the water coming into your ear. Everything else on the list, you can pinpoint the exact moment when those injuries happened.

Speaker 3 You cannot pinpoint the exact moment the water gets stuck in your ear.

Speaker 8 Yes, it gets stuck in your ear when you get out of the water and it doesn't come out of your ear.

Speaker 8 Because all the other water does.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Boom.

Speaker 3 Fact. Nope, not an injury.
Yep, boom, fact. What about

Speaker 3 checkmate? What about eye twitch? Not an injury. That's a minor injury.

Speaker 3 When you just can't get rid of an eye Twitch all day? That's just a physical thing that happens to your body.

Speaker 8 And I twitch to me just feels like something you got going on.

Speaker 3 Right. Some of you're dealing with.

Speaker 3 It's the same with

Speaker 3 the message. Well,

Speaker 3 these are honorable mentions. So just, hey, why don't you relax? I'm just, I don't.
There are honorable mentions of a list that we're not seeing. Sprained ankle.
Sprained ankle is big.

Speaker 8 Worse than a break.

Speaker 3 I was going to say.

Speaker 3 like tweaked back, but I think that's a major injury. Yeah, that's the thing.
Anytime you hurt your back, you're just fucked for a long time.

Speaker 8 Spinal columns all the time.

Speaker 3 It's been a shower. Ooh.
Just in general, I feel like for athletes, like whenever those stories come out, that's just embedded.

Speaker 3 The greatest athletes in the world who have unbelievable coordination somehow slip like they're your 90-year-old nana.

Speaker 8 Pulled hamstring?

Speaker 3 Tweaked hamstring. Tweaked hamstring.
Pulled is a real injury.

Speaker 8 Well, so when you tweak your hamstring, you spend the next year worrying about pulling it.

Speaker 3 The fear of blowing out your Achilles once you get over 30 years old. Yeah.
That's an injury.

Speaker 3 That's the minor injury, and the Achilles is the major.

Speaker 8 A bruised shin. Walking into like a low coffee table or something like that.
Yep.

Speaker 3 That's

Speaker 8 a splinter.

Speaker 3 Splinters. Splinters suck.
But the only thing with splinters is

Speaker 3 it's so satisfying to get a splinter out. To actually free the piece of wood from your skin is like, oh.

Speaker 8 The minute you realize that there's no longer something underneath there that's touching all the nerves,

Speaker 8 it does feel great. It's almost worth the splinter, to be honest with you.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I actually might start splintering myself just get a minor case of a splinter just started rubbing my hands over all types of wood right here yeah um and then i had headache in the back of your eyes specifically the back of your eyes okay that one's always sucks i don't know if i've had that one really that's kind of the hangover where it's like not in your head it's just like the actual bat you could feel it in the back of your eyeballs sore throat is bad sore throat will ruin a woman is that a minor injury

Speaker 3 No, okay, coronavirus

Speaker 3 if you're under the age of 50 and have no pre-existing conditions? Not an injury. Okay.
It's a physical condition.

Speaker 8 Well, Hank,

Speaker 8 what's another minor injury for you? I want to judge some of yours now.

Speaker 3 Yeah, let's judge. Hitting your knee on a coffee table.

Speaker 8 I just said leg on a coffee table. Copycat.
I said knee.

Speaker 3 I mean, that's... I don't have honorable mentions.

Speaker 8 I just cutting yourself shaving.

Speaker 3 I usually rip four and then. Cutting yourself shaving.
That's an injury. Because you can pinpoint the exact moment it happened.
Okay, so that's all that it has to be? In my opinion, yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, funny bone. Yep.
Yeah, funny bone. Funny bone sucks.
Why do they call it the funny bone?

Speaker 8 Because it's on your humorous.

Speaker 3 I don't know if that's true or not. Learn something new every day.

Speaker 3 Okay, that's our show. Let's have a great weekend, everyone.
And we have a great interview. Like I said, Tim Grover, MJ's trainer.
Great stories about MJ and how competitive he is.

Speaker 3 On Monday, we'll have Last Dance review. We'll have...
Do we know what Billy's Deep Dive is? God knows. God knows.

Speaker 3 God knows what that child has been up to all week in his fucking berserker basement with all his kittens.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 I'll pay. Say after me.

Speaker 3 I'll make the bad if you say this time. starving.
Stay after me.

Speaker 3 I like the better to be safe and stopping.

Speaker 3 the

Speaker 3 chance

Speaker 3 we

Speaker 3 taking on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.