Magician Criss Angel, Last Dance Review, Draft Recap + Billy Football Is Living The Plot To Spiderman

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Last Dance, episodes 3 and 4, review off the top. We have the NFL Draft, great weekend for sports.
We have the Mind Freak, Chris Angel, awesome interview, something a a little different so chris angel you probably remember him for being the mind freak uh done a million shows had a hit show as well he's a magician he's one of the greatest magicians of all time magician's hall of fame which we learn about is actually a thing so that's great we have mount flushmore of chores and then billy football our son uh i don't know what he's doing now but it's fucking funny he's pretty much just living with a bunch of feral cats trying to get them i think he's trying to live the plot to spider-man but with cats well he's done billy's berserker bunker and every negative thing that happens to him in his life he tries to do some research on and figure out why it's actually a good thing that it's happening to him so right i mean props for positivity yeah great mindset from our son billy so very funny he tells us about toxomyosis or something i don't even fucking know i was like he's crazy but it's very funny uh we're brought to you before we do all of that the Cash App. It is the greatest app ever created.
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Today is Monday, April 26th. 7th, 27th.
The Last Dance 3 and 4. Review.
I'd say my only critique so far is that I wish we had 100 hours of this documentary. Because it is so fucking good.
And there are so many side stories that I want them to go even deeper on, but man, was it awesome? Yeah. I need there to be, you remember that show 24, there should be back to back seasons of 24 about Dennis Rodman's experience in Las Vegas, where he just takes a vacation in the middle of the season.
He's like, Phil, I was good while Scotty was gone. Now you understand.
I need to go blow off steam and just get fucking balls to the wall hammered in Vegas. So let's do chronological.
The thing is, I wish this was like every night and they split them up because it feels like when you watch two episodes, you know, you leave with whatever was last. But the Dennis Rodman episode, which is episode three, was unbelievable.
So we'll start there. I love Dennis Rodmanman i've always loved dennis rodman he he made rebounding cool he made rebounding like seem like a sexy thing he was so fucking incredible that scene i know there's like a million scenes that we'll go over but the scene that i love the most out of episode three when he was explaining the art of rebounding and how the ball would go off and like larry bird's spin this way and Michael Jordan shot would spin this way.
And you're like, holy shit, like this guy spent so many hours trying to figure out exactly where to be and in the right position. And he never quit.
And the craziest thing about Rodman, he won seven straight rebounding titles. Like most of them weren't even close.
So I went back and I looked it up. He had – there was a year where he had – so in 92 was when he started winning his seven in a row.
He had 18.7 rebounds a game, which is just insane to begin with. But the second-place person had 15.5.
The next year, 18.3. Shaq was second with 13.9.
So, Robbin had over four rebounds more than the second-place person in the league. The year after that, 17.3.
13.2 was second. 16.8, 12.5.
So, he basically not only dominated the league in rebounding for seven straight years, it was on such an elevated level compared to everyone else. He was he was just all-time great yeah if you were to just guess off the top of your head in his best game how many rebounds do you think Dennis Rodman had I think he had one where he had like 30 right he had 34 in 1992 which is an insane amount and you know for all the people that are like you know know, Dennis Rodman's a weirdo.
That's true.

Dennis Rodman should not be a role model.

Probably also true. I actually do think that Dennis Rodman is a role model in a weird way in that if you can figure out something that you're the best at, it doesn't matter what weird little niche category it is in life.

If there's one thing that you're better than everybody else that are more focused on, steer into that and get really, really good at that and be known as the best to ever do that, and you will be extremely successful. And, I mean, so in that last bowl season, he had 16 games where he had 20-plus rebounds.
I mean, that's just stupid. That's stupid.
But he, I think the reason why it all worked was he, like, there's legendary stories about Dennis Rodman. He would play a full game, and then and then he would be you know in the gym lifting for an hour and a half and and it's not like uh oh man he last first guy in last guy out because we all know Dennis Robin partied we saw that it was more that he just had a motor that didn't quit he had like endless energy and you saw it when he's diving into the stands or diving for every loose ball and then you get the human side which I I don't want to go into because I'm sure every podcast can do like could you imagine if this happened in 2020 but Dennis Rodman in 2020 would be a phenomenal watch because what everyone knows what everyone's openly talks about with like mental health and all kinds of things.
Dennis Rodman back then was just a weirdo who was unbelievable at rebounding. You know what I mean? That was kind of what he was in a party boy.
But it's the whole Phil Jackson letting him take a vacation, and we'll get into Phil, but understanding what you needed out of Dennis Rodman and how to pull the right levers when they needed to be pulled was part of the genius of Phil Jackson, part of the genius of Michael Jordan, and part of the genius of Dennis Rodman being able to lock in. Yeah, he was definitely not first one in, last one out.
He was last one in, but also last one out probably. So he was a night owl.
He didn't show up to the stadium until the very, very last minute before games or very, very last minute before practice. But he was awesome at what he did.
I liked how Phil gave himself a little bit of credit and was like, you know, I recognized in Dennis through my training in Native American spiritual healing that he was unusual. It's like he gives credit to growing up next to a Native American reservation for recognizing the fact that the guy that shows up with pink hair, like no nose rings, earrings.
He's fucking Carmen Electra 30 minutes before a game. The guy that just needs to get out of town and blow off steam in Vegas.
That guy is unusual. And I owe that to my training as a shaman.
Yeah. Yeah.
And he, you know, there was a famous like when Krause was bringing him in, this is also something to Krause's credit because I know he is the villain, and rightfully so, but he, you know, he brought him in. He had him talk to Phil Jackson.
He had him apologize to Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan and make sure that, like, okay, is this what we want to do after they lost to the Magic because they didn't have the right size? And Dennis Rodman fit in perfectly for those last three, you know, Bulls championship runs. And it's credit to Jerry Kraus for thinking outside the box, being like, okay, I have a guy who's pretty combustible, who could kind of not be a great, like, locker room guy.
So let's – but he brings something we do not have and figuring out a way to get it done. Do you think there's a small element of Jerry Krause bringing Dennis Rodman in because he thought that it might blow everything up? Well, no.
So I read a quote before tonight that was very funny. It was the Krause, Rodman, Pippen, MJ, Phil Jackson meeting before they signed Rodman.
And Krause asked Dennis Rodman, like, why did you not get along with your other GMs and Robin was like because they want to be my friend and Krause said uh I don't want to be your friend I'm 56 you're 34 what the fuck do I need to be your friend for you're sitting here with green hair and you got earrings up your ass we have nothing in common I'll leave you alone so credit to credit to Jerry Krause like that's the kind of things that's from, that's from the blood on the horns, a long, strange ride of Michael Jordan, Chicago bulls. That's a book.
And that's like, that is credit to Jerry Krause to being like, Hey, I will leave you alone. I will let you be Dennis Robin and credit to Phil Jackson.
Be like, you're weird. You're different.
We'll let you go to Vegas for 40 hours and bang out karma. Electra, who, by the way, still got it.
Pretty good. Pretty good.
How old is she? Still got it. Is she what, 45, 50? Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter. She looks better.
It's like her and Julia Louis-Dreyfus look 50 times better now than they did at that exact same, like 1992, the two of them together. I don't know what's happening with modern medicine, but I'm very excited to live in the year 2040.
This documentary is going to give us the all five anti-age team

because between BJ Armstrong, MJ's mom, and Carmen Electra,

we've had three people who were...

Horace Grant.

Horace Grant's a little bit bigger, but yeah, we'll get to him,

but he also looks pretty young too.

And they're all in the like, holy shit, I remember you from the 90s, and you still look like this? Yeah. So, Carmen Electra, yeah.
I mean, she meant a lot to a lot of people in the 90s. Let's just say that.
Yeah, for sure. If I had one bone to pick with this documentary, so far, at least in the last two episodes, it jumped around chronologically a little bit.
Like, you have to take 30 seconds to find your footing sometimes and be like wait are we in 1992 1998 where are we right now and you just have to like look at who's on the roster to figure that stuff out because it it does go back and forth to being like okay this is the last dance oh wait they're playing against the lakers in the finals can i i also have one take that's been burning me up for a couple years i don't think i've ever said it it publicly. The layup that Michael Jordan had in the finals against the Lakers where he jumps in the air and switches hands, completely unnecessary to do that.
It's a cool-looking highlight. He didn't need to do that.
He could have just done a finger roll with his right hand, and he switched to his left hand because it looked cool. And to his credit, it ended up being one of the greatest-looking plays in NBA history.
Totally unnecessary. My dad gave me that take a while ago, and I'm going to carry on his tradition and bear that torch for him.
Speaking of iconic moments, the shot against Elo, who Ron Harper, I love him. There's something about this.
I think what this documentary has done better than any other documentary, maybe it's just the swears, but it feels like everyone's being very, very honest because enough time has passed where it's like, who cares? It's 20, 30 years ago and all these old grudges are still there and you can see them and they're fantastic to see on everyone's face. But Ron Harper being like, Craig Elo like why the hell did we have him on MJ but Elo collapsing like dying in a heap after MJ's shot I think takes that shot from uh all time to iconic because if you google Craig Elo he played for 15 years in the NBA and all you see is him just crumpled down on the ground.

And then how about the reporter getting that interview?

Yeah, that interview right after was all time.

MJ just being like, fuck all you haters, which, you know, there's something raw to it that it's just –

and I don't want to do the like, oh, man, the NBA is soft now because I don't think the NBA is soft now.

But there was something about like seeing these stories and seeing this hate that just gets you so pumped up.

Yeah, no no it was great like seeing how Jordan treated those uh those Pistons teams and how the Pistons teams their game plan was just like straight up beat the fuck out of Michael Jordan whenever he's around you like that's they were they were public with saying that so right now if you were to have a playoff series where a team were to treat LeBron James like that and just beat the shit out of him and then say it publicly, you can better believe that Adam Silver would be on the phone with the referees putting some special rules in for the next game. Hey, watch this guy.
Watch this guy. It would be like national news.
It would be a big story. But back then, it was like, hey, yeah, that's just the way that this game is.
You allowed to beat the shit out of somebody did you did you see the clip i posted of when bill lambier in the 89 i don't know why they didn't put it in there but bill lambier uh elbowed scotty pippen and knocked him out of uh game six and 89 and joey crawford literally was pulling him off the court like dragging him out he pippen was dead on the ground and joey crawford grabbed him by the legs so the play could keep going on. The refs didn't give a fuck either.
It was crazy. I like that, but I would never want to actually play in that sport.
No, no. It's fun to watch.
So the old grudges, we had four. I feel like this should be a counter that we do every single Monday while this documentary goes.
Who did MJ crush in the course of the documentary? So we had four by my count. One was somewhat harmless, but the Bill Cartwright, when he was talking about the triangle offense, and basically it was like everyone was going to touch the ball, but I don't want Bill Cartwright touching the ball with five seconds left on the clock.
And I think MJ's quote was something like, it's supposed to be equal opportunity, but that's just fucking bullshit. So that was great.
Bill Cartwright sitting there with his family being like, yeah, I played with MJ. And him just be like in bricks a shot with one second left of the shot clock.
At the end, who was he talking to on the airplane when he was like, this guy's an alcoholic. Scotty Burrell, yeah.
Scotty Burrell, yeah, your mom and dad are watching this. Guess what? Your son's an alcoholic.
If you're dating Scotty Burrell, he's cheating on you because he stays out late at night. And the way that he was saying it, like it sounded funny.
But at the time, like, yeah, he's kind of a dickhead. Oh, I'm sure we'll get some more MJ-Scotty Burrell.
But it was a famous relationship of MJ just basically wearing him down mentally, like in pushing him, pushing and pushing him. I wonder if Scottie Burrell got a text from whoever he was dating in that, you know, in 98.
Be like, yo, what was that? Like, was that OK? Now that makes sense. Was I the only one that noticed that in in like the late 90s, everyone looked like they were 42? It didn't matter if you were 25 years old or like 60 years old everyone was 42 also just watching them like arrive to the airplane in those in regular like 15 passenger vans that yeah we would be in like what is going on this nba team so those were two and then the other two were uh scotty pippen for the migraine game mj still bullshit about thatious.
Hilarious. Dude, he doesn't believe it to the point that if you've ever read Jordan Rules, it's a great book.
Everyone should read it if they're interested in this stuff. He joked in it about Scotty's headaches.
He called them headaches. And he basically just clowned on them for the headaches.
And you can tell, even though he won six championships with this guy, he's like, yeah, fuck that.

Scott, he's weak.

Yeah.

He's like, he had, I guess, a migraine, I have to say, or whatever, which I'm told is a real thing. Michael Jordan definitely does not believe that a migraine is a real medical issue right now.
He thinks that if you have a migraine, you're a pussy. And the Bulls got smoked in that game.
So, but it's that, like, I honestly think the MJ Pippen relationship is so fascinating because I know that Michael Jordan knows like deep down that Scottie Pippen was an all-time player and he needed him every bit for all these championships but he has that one the migraine game and of course the famous didn't come in for for the kukot shot when MJ was playing baseball and I think there's a part of Michael Jordan who will always look at Scotty and be like, when the chips are down, you're just weak. Like I can carry you, but you won't, you, you won't do it.
I think what we saw with the second episode tonight, where they ended up, you know, getting over that hump and winning the NBA title, uh, Jordan only realized the value of teamwork when he realized that teamwork could make him look better, you know? So like now say like yeah we got to do certain things in a team-oriented way but really to drive that home and through into his own head he had to realize that teamwork selfishly would make him a better player too yes although that one was a little weird because i'm pretty sure and i'm gonna look it up right now but i'm I'm pretty sure Michael Jordan averaged 11 assists in that Lakers series, so to be like oh, he just learned how to pass in the fourth quarter to John Paxson against the Lakers that seems a little... You had to frame it in a certain way, but he definitely did become more of a team player as his career went on, and the only reason that he became more of a team player was because he realized that he could have a bigger legacy and be a greater player if he wasn't so selfish all the time.
Absolutely. And, I mean, the fascinating part, this is what I meant by, like, I wish there was a million documentaries because Tex Winter, who's an all-time basketball mind, you know, having the triangle offense kind of revolutionize and how Doug Collins, like, that's, like, Doug Collins didn't want to run the triangle offense.

Okay, you're gone.

And Jerry Krause, to Jerry Krause's credit, he also is a grudge guy.

He didn't go to MJ's Hall of Fame induction because Tex Winter wasn't inducted into the Hall of Fame yet.

That's why he didn't go.

But that was why he steadfastly was like, I will not step into the Basketball Hall of Fame until Tex Winter is in there. So he's a grudge guy.
So the last grudge I had, and it's the best by far, Michael Jordan has never hated anyone as much as he hates Isaiah Thomas. And it's fucking awesome to watch how much he still holds on to it to this day.
When he was like, when the director is showing him the video of Isaiah's excuse for walking off the court. And MJ's like, whatever he says, he's an asshole.
Like, he's an asshole. I know what happened.
He's going to change it. Yeah, I know what happened.
I remember being there. No matter what he says in retrospect, he just didn't shake my hand because he's a dickhead.
Yeah, he's an asshole. He actually nailed Isaiah Thomas.
Isaiah Thomas is a world-class prick. I don't think that you'll find too many people getting his back on anything.
But yeah, he is going back through history and changing things up to make himself look better. Yeah, they didn't want to shake their hands, which I respect the bad boy Pistons of that era for being so committed to the bad boy lifestyle that they're like, you know what? We're going to be bitches to the end and we're just going to run off the court and not shake your hand.
That's fine. I like that.
Just own it. In all time, what if? So Isaiah Thomas was basically has every accolade.
He was, I think he won a state championship. He won in Illinois.
He won a, he won a college, with indiana he won the ncaa title he won two titles in the nba he does not have a gold medal because michael jordan said he would not play on the dream team if isaiah thomas was on the dream team with with isaiah thomas's coach chuck daly so an all-time what if if isaiah thomas and it probably wouldn't anything but if Isaiah Thomas shakes hands and is like hey MJ like passing the torch does he get on the dream team because he was very well deserving I think he does it's so petty and so awesome yeah I think that Jordan absolutely kept him off the dream team for that reason if you're doing a spin zone though they probably saved thousands of lives in detroit by not shaking hands afterwards and then passing her off the flu or whatever to them like i want to actually go back in time and see what jordan was saying to himself in the mirror during the flu game i'm sure they'll address the flu game in depth later on in the series yeah was jordan as hard on himself as he was on scotty pippen like was he like jordan you little you little bitch-ass pussy? Stop shitting, Jordan. Stop shitting.
Well, the Dream Team stuff is going to be fascinating, too, because I'm pretty sure that also is when Jordan realized that Scottie Pippen was incredible because he was like, holy shit, Scottie Pippen is better than everyone here. But the Isaiah stuff just cracks me up because MJ, just his hatred is so goddamn deep for him.
And it's fantastic to watch because it's like it makes it seem like when Kevin Durant or James Harden unfollows his team on Instagram and we do this league. How about Michael Jordan literally saying Isaiah Thomas is not allowed on the dream team when he was one of the top 12 players in the NBA you know what we're gonna roll Christian later you understand it's like this league no this league that is ultimate this league I also like how they call Dennis Rodman the fuck up person yeah he's the guy that you bring him just to fuck shit up on defense that's a great description and you need someone that can just destroy somebody else's game plan yes he was he was the ultimate pest and um you know draymond green he was i think better than well different than draymond green because draymond obviously has better offense but like no one can rebound like dennis robin so hank i was i did get a few tweets.
People were saying that you were the Dennis Robin of the podcast because he asked for 48 hours off and a vacation. Would you like to ask for 48 hours off? Cause we can give you the next 48 hours off.
Wait, no, we can give you the next 40 hours off. Sure.
Yeah. I mean, if seeing what it did for him, I think that be a big a big help and i think hopefully like your door hopefully phil jackson's uh like demeanor towards the whole situation opened up your guys eyes to the the values of vacations and time off yes for sure now clear something up for me because when they went to go get dennis rodman after the 48 hours when he wasn't back in time Jordan went to his apartment in Chicago to get him out like out of bed right he didn't go to Vegas that was vague yeah although it seemed like they were on the road so I couldn't quite figure out the timeline there if he had come back it seemed like he came back also just love how Robin just it's so weird watching a professional basketball player like now.
Obviously, then it was totally normal because it was Dennis Rodman. But just walk out of a game with a Miller Lite in their hand and a beer in their hand.
And just be like, I'm just I'm hanging out. And then get on a motorcycle.
Yeah, he pounded a beer, got on a motorcycle without a helmet and then sped off. And they're like, that's classic Rodman.
taylor's too yeah yeah he's going on right now he drives his motorcycle into like a stop sign and phil jackson's like i knew the one time i took peyote uh yeah out in the high desert that this meant he was unusual we should mention phil uh i feel like this did some just deserve because you know sometimes people will say phil jackson'srated, which is kind of ridiculous. Just a sports argument to make it because he obviously had MJ and Scotty and then had Kobe and Shaq and then Kobe and pal.
But, uh, what keeping these guys together, that's always been my biggest argument for Phil Jackson is how many times do you see, uh, teams win or not even teams win, but like a bunch of different personalities and trying to get them all on the same page. And he's clearly the master of that and figuring out a way to tap into every single guy and figure out exactly how every guy like works and what makes them tick and, and getting the most out of them.
So I feel like this entire episode or two episodes in a row vindicated phil which he didn't need it but there is that lazy argument that he is overrated because he had such great talent it's definitely easier to be a coach on a team like that and win a championship but it's extremely hard to be a coach on a team like that and put together seven consecutive seasons of like no letdowns whatsoever you know that's tough to do when you have all these great players and the fact that they had Jordan Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman the entire time playing as probably three out of the top 10 defenders in the league for that entire time span like that shows you how hard they were working all the time that's almost impossible do. It's also crazy just to say Phil Jackson has been part of 13 championship teams in the NBA.
That's insane. Two with the Knicks, six with the Bulls, five with the Lakers.
Am I recounting that right? Yeah, I am. That's insane.
So, again, it's a stupid argument. People sometimes make it.
always find it silly but it was great seeing you know phil starting as a coach you know at the very very bottom being like holy shit what was the story about uh the mayor shooting a ref oh he was in puerto rico and uh in one of their games the mayor was pissed at the ref so he shot him to be fair he shot him in the lower leg so it's not like he almost killed him or whatever and so the punishment was you can't go to any more home games that year yes away games that's fine uh yeah phil jackson is an awesome coach and i'm glad that he is getting a little bit of credit here yeah because especially because he did kind of hurt his legacy with everything with the knicks and he became a little bit of a joke uh the last few years i think he's just Yeah, no, he was cashing that paycheck. But going back in time here and just seeing all this stuff, you forget how quickly recency bias takes over for everything.
You know what I mean? And so I'm sure there's people who are like, Phil Jackson, oh, yeah, he ruined the Knicks even though the Knicks have been ruined for a long time. I have a confession to make.
I don't understand what a triangle offense is. Maybe it's like the most easy thing to explain possible.
I don't know what it, to me, it's just, it might as well be magic. Well, I mean, they, they did a decent job of explaining it, but it's basically setting it up on one side of the court.
So everyone gets touches and then you can move off of that. Like you saw, take your talk in Spanish football, soccer.
Yeah, it's touching in and out and everyone getting different looks and then swinging the ball. I mean, it would be interesting to see if teams – like if LeBron ran it, what it would look like.
I don't know if he's ever been in – I mean, he's probably run principles of it. That that's the thing it's like there's probably principles of it in a lot of things um but it would be interesting to watch him run like true triangle offense and just dominate people there i said something nice about lebron do you think that basketball players in the early 90s and late 80s got sweatier faster than they do now yeah because i think there was just not as good of air conditioning ever and deodorant technology hadn't hadn't evolved and fabric think about fabric yeah they're probably wearing those heavy cotton yeah yeah it's bad gildan um the only last thing i had was horace grant had the line of the night when uh he said the pistons walking off the court in uh the bull sweep of the pistons He called them straight up bitches while wearing an NBA Cares polo.
And that was fantastic. I love it.
I love that. So far, that's the quote of the entire series so far.
Yes. And the Ron Harper one from earlier in the night.
Yes. Which Ron Harper doing these days? Does he have braces? Basketball coach.
I don't know what he was doing. Yeah, he – well, and all these guys, I don't think Ron Harper's – I mean, obviously, Horace Grant's nephew, Jerry and Grant, played for the Bulls a little bit.
Scotty Pippen's son is in college. I'm trying to think there's another one.
I think Dennis Rodman's kid might be in – like all these guys have kids now they're in college so it again it feels like it was the right time to do this because enough time has passed where everyone can speak very freely like you couldn't imagine this 10 years after this all happened because a lot of these guys were still you know either in the league circles or whatever they might be doing right now it's like everything's kind of in the past distant past we can speak freely we can say fuck and it's awesome mike wilbon saying fuck felt like i was i was watching something i shouldn't be watching that that like hit me different hearing him just drop a casual f-bomb i also enjoy watching michael jordan on the screen uh and then noticing in the background how high that that glass of he has is. Because it'll tell you what kind of quote you're about to get from him.
If you're going to get the like, there's a me in team or there's an I in win or whatever that quote was. That's as it gets a little bit lower and as his eyes get like a little bit more yellow.
I don't know what's up with his eyes. He might have some sort of kidney or liver thing going on.
He might want to get checked out.

I think he likes to drink.

I think he likes to drink a lot.

That's fine.

Same.

I think he likes to drink a lot.

Cautionary tale.

Be careful, kids.

If you drink too much, you might end up like Mike.

No.

Hey, careful, kids.

If you are addicted to winning at everything, someday you're going to have to become the best drinker.

True.

Yeah.

And there you go. Okay, let's talk some draft.
The draft finished rounds two and three on Friday, rounds four through seven Saturday. I think the biggest story that we have to start with besides the teams itself is Friday night when Roger Goodell decided to either take Molly or was it an edible or just got way too drunk but it was it was basically an SNL skit where we watched someone try to learn how to have a personality through the course of the night when he went to his comfortable chair that wasn't comfortable at all when he was like basically laying down in front of us when he was hugging the screens because he was rolling on molly when he was screwing up words left and right the whole thing i couldn't take my eyes off it and i loved it not because it made him look human but the opposite it was great to watch a robot try to be human and convince us that he knew like human emotions when he was like everyone out there is asking me roger how far down in that m&m jar are you and then he pulls out the m&m jar he's like look i've eaten several m&ms i'm a normal person just like you i have kind of a sweet tooth i'm going to disagree with you about the the chair though that chair looked very comfortable it looked like a rich person's idea of a comfortable chair but once you get a good ass groove going into one of those seats it actually is pretty nice so i'll give him that it was funny watching him kind of sink lower and lower i think he's just drunk on one um i am a little bit concerned about our commission and he is your commission too you have to respect the office i think that i don't think that roger goodell has any friends i don't think that a person with that personality yeah like there's why is this a new news breaking because usually

when you're that rich you have at least some people that'll hang out with you and like oh

he's got that no he has that i don't even think that he does i think he has like business partners

that he sees occasionally like the owners but just like going off his personality i don't i

want to volunteer to be his friend because i feel bad for him i feel like he he is the biggest nerd

of the occasionally like the owners but just like going off his personality i don't i want to volunteer to be his friend because i feel bad for him i feel like he he is the biggest nerd in the entire world with zero personality like jason witten and if you hit him in the head with a frying pan like i feel bad for roger goodell it's almost like pity for me that's soft that's soft i want to i want to she's all that roger goodell and like mess up his hair and turn him into the hot chick you You feel bad for a guy that makes $40 million a year? Yeah, $40 million a year and his way of being relatable is eating M&Ms and sitting in his chair. While it might have looked comfortable, he wasn't sitting comfortably in it.
He was sitting upright being like, look at me. Now I'm in my comfortable chair, humans.
$40 million a year still doesn't buy you bros. he would trade it all for some homies i i loved uh i love this draft just because it was so different and because we got to watch roger gardell the entire night it was actually fascinating to watch it kept me tuned in because you know how the draft goes where the first round is very interesting because it's everyone you've seen and known and watched and then the second round a little bit same, where it's like guys that you household names, so to speak.
Then they get to the third round. And third round on, it's like just rapid fire.
They're never caught up. They're trying to interview people, and teams are picking picks.
And then six picks later, they're talking about the guy that was picked. So it just becomes chaos for some reason like friday night it was just it was fireside chats with raj just sitting there welcoming us into a you know welcoming he welcomed us into his home and we sat there and we tried to speak to him like human beings and we didn't get anywhere but it was at least somewhat entertaining to almost like an alien showing up to your draft and being like, hey, guys, let's see if we can find common ground here.
M&Ms. You know those fake posts on Twitter about somebody that sits down and makes a computer watch every episode of Parks and Rec and then it comes up with a script for a new pilot from it? Yes.
That's like what Roger Doe was like. It's like if aliens watched what a rich person acted like trying to relate to young people and then recorded that and then spat out three nights' worth of content, you get what Roger was doing.
I'm also thinking that might not have actually been his house because that place looked a little too lived in. I feel like he just lives in a padded cell and Jerry Jones has his key and lets him out every morning for breakfast i don't think that roger goodell is cool enough to have six tvs all that wood grain those nice leather couches i something struck me as being like a little too on the nose so i'm staying woke on that i do think though that the format of this draft was uh was much better i think than it's i don't know that they can go back to the old format of drafting because this was so much cooler seeing the prospects in their living room,

having it bounce all over the place, not one formal soundstage anywhere.

It's pretty sweet.

If they can do a blend, if they can do a hybrid, it would be perfect.

I would want the first round live with the draftees in the spot because the green room thing's always great if a guy slides i also always love the booing fans and and the people like the super fans that go to drafts are a special breed of nfl fans that we need to give them their front and center moment where they can be in a city dressed to the nines in the middle of april screaming and yelling at a 22-year-old that they probably didn't even watch any tape on. So that needs to keep happening.
But I agree with you. If we could do rounds four through seven where everyone is remote and you can see into the living rooms of all the coaches and GMs, that was fascinating.
I found myself being interested, you know, seeing what these digital war rooms look like and seeing what everyone's setup is so I thought the draft did a great job and it also again made us feel normal for a few days in a row we're like hey there's something new that's happening on tv and we can actually tune in here yeah I was also a big fan of Bill Belichick's dog that really got Friday night going time. And I think we have to call him Jack, right?

Because Bill wanted to call him Jack. He's very clear on that.

I guess Linda really pressed for Nike, but every time she calls him Nike,

Bill is like, just for the record, I wanted his name to be Jack.

So he is now Jack in my eyes,

but that one picture of the dog sitting at the,

at the table and saying like head coach, Bill Belichick,

New England Patriots, that was worth it. That was, that.
That was worth this whole quarantine for that one instant during the draft. Okay, so draft grades, always funny because they're never right, and I like to look at all of them.
From the draft grades that I've seen, it looks like everyone loves what the Ravens did. It looks like people kind of like what the Cowboys did.
Maybe the Broncos as well, getting a lot of help on offense. And then the big loser would be the Green Bay Packers, who took Jordan Love in the first round and then took a running back in the second and a tight end who I think they're going to convert to a fullback in the third, basically just going redundant on positions to not help Aaron Rodgers.
And then we had Matt LaFleur say afterwards, I know Aaron is going to be a great mentor, which is the least believable quote that's ever been said. You don't know that.
You don't know that. He seems like a great teacher, like a great person to learn behind, someone who's not going to be threatened at all by a young buck coming into town.
Green Bay was weird. The weird the vikings had an interesting draft because they just got everybody i think the vikings had like 13 people that they drafted and that's the old like extreme couponer version of of drafting that belichick does that zimmer started doing now where it's like oh why spend a first round pick on somebody when you can get six fifth round picks that are made of the exact same ingredients for less money and yes absolutely and then in full disclosure or uh full transparency i did bash the packers drafted and the bears then went and drafted their 11th tight end um i matt nagy too that room that he's in was the ultimate try hard room where he had just the plate like if it was just one wall of play cards and everything you'd be like okay that's that's kind of cool but then you zoom out and it's just the weirdest room ever that he just really wants you to know that he's a football coach and the tight ends the only thing I can think of is Ryan Pace is essentially what he's doing is being that asshole in your fantasy draft who drafts the third quarterback before anyone has drafted one and then just makes everyone trade with you like later on in the season when injuries happen.
So I think his strategy is if we have 11 tight ends, eventually someone's going to get a hurt tight end and then we will have all the tight ends and you'll be forced to trade with the Bears. Yeah, he's cornered the market.
He's hoarding tight ends. So he's like that dude in Kentucky or whatever that had all that hand sanitizer and was trying to charge people $2,000.
Yeah, he's right, though. If there is an injury to one of the premier tight ends in the NFL, they're going to have to pony up a first and a second round pick.
But it is funny that they have 11 tight ends on the last year. Obviously, they're going to probably only have two or three when they come to the start of the season.
But it's just an absurd thing. I think it might be 10 now.
But all the jokes were happening, which is, of course, because the Bears are a joke. And people being like, according to CDC guidelines, the Bears' tight ends can't be in the same room together.
Things like that. So, yeah.
I mean, you know, anytime you can laugh at yourself, you've got to do it. I would say that the cornerback they took, I had him as a first-round grade.
So, there we go. That's all you have to say, by the way.
If you want to convince yourself that your draft is good, just say the person your team picks is, oh, well, one of my mock drafts, I had him as a first-round grade, so that's tremendous value when you pick him up in the sixth round. Yeah, or you can say, like, we actually were split whether or not to take him with our fourth-round pick.
And the fact that we got him with a sixth round, we got two fourth-rounders for him. Yeah, that's pretty good.
I like what you said about the Ravens, because I feel like we go through this every year with the Ravens draft picks. about that defense just like the mystique and aura that defense if they just draft a good linebacker every year people like ah god damn it the Ravens defense won this draft again but uh Patrick Queen is awesome and he's going to be a very very good fit there but I feel like we do have that conversation every year about the Ravens like they can't they have never messed up a draft.
Right. And J.K.
Dobbins is going to be insane in that offense because that's just another thing you have to guard. He's awesome.
I actually was shocked he kind of slipped a little bit because he is one of those – he's like perfectly set up for today's NFL where he just can't be guarded in space. and now you throw that wrinkle in.

I don't know.

I'll wait until I can look at them, and I'll call them a fraud within the first three weeks.

But right now, good job by the Ravens.

I'm trying to think what other were the big – oh, Jake Fromm.

Let's talk about the Eagles. All right, so let's talk about the Eagles.

But first, Jake Fromm, real quick.

Jake Fromm, if it were NBA rules and he had to come out of the draft after – if could come out of the draft after the national championship game he would have been a top 10 pick he ends up being the backup in the bills and what the fifth or sixth round small and small not not a great arm small hands but that sucks so bad because I remember after that game being like I love this Jake from kid and then he has stayed two more years and never really got better. So that's just what ends up happening.
Hank, I know you wanted him on the Patriots. Because you brought everything three years ago.
Of course. I mean, that National Championship game completely influenced me.
But I still think the potential's there. I think he's going to be the best quarterback that comes out of this draft.
What about this, Hank? What about, what? The guy from Michigan State, Lewinke? Especially learning behind someone like Josh Allen. That's only going to make him better.
Lewinke has the biggest hands out of this year's class. I think they were 10 and 5 eighths.
He also throws the most hilarious interceptions. Michigan State's offense actually made you want your eyes.
When you watch Michigan State's offense the last two years, you would have preferred to be blind. Yeah.
I mean, there were some plays where he actually looked like he was drunk on the field. It would not shock me if you were like, this guy with the giant hands was carrying around three pints of liquor and drank all of them before the game.
So, yeah, so the Eagles, though, PFT, you brought it up Eagles fans I really do believe in in uh the thought process that if Eagles fans hate the draft that means it's a fantastic draft and boy do they hate the Jalen Hurts pick with the second round which I kind of understand the hatred there because I don't really know if he's a uh starting quarterback in the NFL you took him it's also very weird because you don't really see quarterbacks get taken in the second round. You either take him in the first round because then you get the extra year, the fifth year option, or you wait and take them as a flyer like this guy's a work in progress.
So him just being taken in the second round kind of speaks volumes that you already don't fully believe that he can be this long-term starter because you want to take him in the first round. And then it's too high to take him in the second round when he's going to be a project.
But the Eagles fans flipped out, and then Shefty, covering the Eagles' asses a little bit, said that it might be because of coronavirus and backup quarterbacks are going to be at a premium if the starter gets coronavirus which is it's the most insane thing i've ever heard no that it's now like changed how the nfl is going to do business listen when when one one hundredth of uh of your 30 to 40 year olds come down with a sickness that sidelines them for a week and a half you have to you have to build that factor into your into your draft value quarterback, like, like counting on the fact that your guy might get sick is so funny. I don't know what chapter was doing.
Probably just like massaging Howie's shoulders a little bit. Like, Hey, make sure to give me the scoops in the future.
I'll get your back on this one. But I always got the feeling that Peterson is like following in Sean Payton's footsteps three years after the fact, like he respects Sean Payton.
He's like, this is a coach with balls. I like his style.
If he's doing something, I'm going to maybe try to emulate a little bit. So taking Jalen Hurts to be their Taysom Hill, although Jalen Hurts has only played quarterback.
Like he's – I don't think the skill set is similar to Taysom Hill's at all, but he sees what they do down in New Orleans. He's like, I want to try to do something like that because having big balls as a coach is cool here's here's the spin

zone for the Eagles fans uh they drafted him solely because his character was off the charts

because by all accounts Jalen Hurts is a great teammate he handled the Tua thing very very well

he had his moment obviously in the SEC championship game where he came in relief he then was very well

liked at Oklahoma so maybe that's the new like the new hack that's the new Billy Bean

Thank you. moment obviously in the SEC championship game where he came in relief he then was very well liked at Oklahoma so maybe that's the new like the new hack that's the new Billy Bean just draft solely on character not anything to do with what your football team needs right now if you were a captain on your team draft that person even if even if your team sucked because it shows that you're the king of the turds with Hertz so he is um the narrative that started to go out right after he got drafted was, he actually kind of likes being a backup.
He did well as a backup, too. And it's like, no, he absolutely does not.
But yeah, if you're looking to draft the best backup quarterback, not in terms of what they did on the field, but in terms of how their team performed with him as a backup, you could do a lot worse than Jalen Hurts. Yes, and given what we know about the Eagles locker room, he'll probably be the favorite quarterback within a week, right? Yeah, I mean, always.
They always love Nick Foles. They love Nick Foles more than they loved Carson Wentz, as far as we heard.
But overall, I liked what the Dolphins did as well. I'm trying to think if anyone else kind of like you know jumped out it's just so funny all these things are so stupid grading drafts because everyone wants the grade everyone wants the instant validation that oh my god my team did it but i thought none of these things matter there's the whole the old uh jaguars the jaguars had like five years in a row where they got an a plus draft, and this was when they weren't doing anything good.
Well, no, I mean, the only true A-plus grade that they should have gotten was the Bortles draft. I maintain that that was the correct grade on that.
Correct. But there were like four others where they drafted a running back or something really high.
I thought the Redskins did pretty well, too. They got rid of Trent Williams finally, even though they could have gotten a first for him last year.
the 49ers that's like that's huge for them because they're losing their you know one of the best left tackles in football and they're getting one of the best left tackles in football right on top of it so um i like the redskin strategy which seems to be this is what i've been saying for a while is like if you don't if you have no idea how to draft just load up on sec west players and then mix in ohio state players every now and again. And you'll be just fine.
Yeah, the SEC had quite the draft. Ole Miss was the only SEC team that didn't get a player drafted from that roster, which is kind of crazy that every other team in the SEC got a player drafted.
Listen, that's fine. They had a good draft.
They also lost a lot of talent. And they also have players that pretend to take pisses on fields so that probably that screwed up the tape for everybody else also true also true um all right and then the other big news that we had james winston is going to sign with the saints and be a backup which is actually terrible news for us because all we really wanted was james winston to start football games.
And now he's going to be a backup for the Saints. I hope that he gets in.
I hope that I don't want Drew Brees. I'm not going to wish injury on Drew Brees, but we need Jameis Winston in game situations.
Overall, it feels like it's taken the Hall of Fame career of Jameis Winston. It might be a small hiccup along the road to Canton.
But that's okay because guess what? He said that he took less money from someone else who we don't know who that was. But someone offered him more money and maybe a starting job.
But we don't know who it is. And everyone reports everything these days to learn from Sean Payton and be the backup in New Orleans.
Listen, this is... Have you ever seen a kung fu movie, Big Cat? Yeah.
This is perfect. This is the right storyline.
It's like you start out as a hotshot. You get humbled a little bit.
You go off in the mountains to train with some old wizard who blindfolds you and hits you in the side with sticks and shit. and then you learn how to catch flies with chopsticks and stuff, training out in nature

for a year, and then you come back.

I'm combining nine movies.

I'm pretty sure I'm also combining

Arya getting trained by the guy with no face

when she

turned blind, like James said before LASIK.

You should have just said, have you ever seen Game of Thrones?

No, no. I think that's one

of the five analogies that I'm mixing all together, but in most Kung Fu movies, you go and you train with a guru, right? That's what James is going to come back next year and literally light the league on fire. Yes, I agree.
I mean, I'm just bummed because I want to see him now. I have a bold prediction.
I think James is starting at least six games this year. Okay, so I have a bold prediction.
I think Drew Brees is going to get injured and miss at least six games this year okay so i have a bold prediction i think drew breeze is gonna get injured and miss at least six games this year and then james would start those six games right okay so we're in agreement so we both have bold predictions what about tasem hill tasem hill is a swiss army knife well they want to keep tasem hill from if you have tasem hill uh take every snap then he's not good, then Sean Payton can't trade him for six first-rounders in ten years. I think the thought of having a Taysom Hill on your roster is a lot better than actually having Taysom Hill on your roster making, what is it, like $15 million? Yes, yes.
Taysom Hill is something you just need a little bit of. You can't have too much of it.
If you have too much of it, things can go south pretty quickly.

All right, should we do who's back of the week?

Let's do who's back of the week.

Then we have Chris Angel coming up.

Hank, why don't you start?

Wouldn't they have won the playoffs if he had been playing the whole game, though?

Who?

Taysom.

Yes, that's true.

Best player on the field against the Vikings.

Fact. According to Troy Aikikman and everyone who had eyes uh my host back of the week is the nba potentially oh go on there was some news uh in the right direction woge reported that teams in states where they're like easing up on the coronavirus ban are going to be able to start practicing together teams are getting back together so there's no news about the season coming back but it's a step in the right direction although i will say it makes no sense to me like from a competitive standpoint how they're going to let some teams practice and some teams not hank was very mad when i read this tweet to him last night because he was like fucked at the like uh the bucks the Rockets are going to be able to come back right away, and the Celtics and the Lakers and the Clippers are screwed.
Now, I've heard that they're trying to do something where, maybe this is the NHL, where they're just going to have like four locations spread out across the country. What's that, NHL? North, the East, South.
I feel like they would just move, though, to a state. Like, teams that don't have restrictions would just move to a state.
And the interesting part, too, would be teams like, I don't know if they would just go straight to the playoffs or not. What would the Knicks do? Just be like, no, we're just not even going to.
This isn't even worth it. Yeah.
No, I think you have to play at least two weeks of games, right? You couldn't just hop in the playoffs. That would be crazy.
There's no way that any bull is going to come back and be yelled at by Jim Boylan for a season that doesn't matter anymore during a pandemic. Now I'm rooting for that.
I'm rooting for them to play at least two weeks so that Jim Boylan actually has to try to get his team to come back for him. That would be perfect.
All right, PFT, what's your who's back? My who's back of the week is simple. It's Trey Wingo.
Trey, did we just become best friends? You did a good job, Trey. You did a good job.
You played it. You played it relatively straight.
You stuck to a winning formula with the exception of like there were a few times where you strayed away from your Will Ferrell movies and you started talking too much about feet like Quentin Tarantino, hat tips, things like that. I thought that he did good with the material he was given.
They laid on the tragedy stuff pretty thick on Friday and on Saturday. There were some prospects where they just talked about grandparents that died like 40 years ago that they didn't even know.
It's like, oh, his grandparent died during World War II. He had high blood pressure and wasn't in the battle or anything, but he died in 1943.
So thoughts and prayers to that guy. Like they overdid that quite a bit, I would say.
But for the most part, I thought that Trey did a pretty good job considering the circumstances. Yes, I'd agree agree I'd agree.
He did get criticized a little bit for his comment about where was it somewhere in California where he's like all they do is surf and smoke weed and then Santa Cruz and then the prospect was like I don't do either of those things. It's like come on guys relax okay.
Trey's making a joke about his favorite hobby smoking weed just chill out. Blaze.
Blaze or don't, but don't come at Trey about that. Also, who's back of the week was overprotective mamas in draft rooms.
So there were a lot of players that would get drafted, and then either stepmom would come in or the girlfriend would come in to give a hug, and mama bear would just put her hand up and play defense and be like, this is my son's time to shine. You keep your whole ass out of this picture right now it's it was actually i'm always siding with the person who has the uh you know ability to to be like hey this moment's gonna live on forever and the country is watching us in our living room maybe it's not about you person who's been standing in the kitchen eating like the french onion dip for the last four hours to come in and get the first hug why don don't you back off and let him have this moment? Although respect to that person who's been in the kitchen eating French onion dip for four hours.
And then trying to get the spotlight. That's an all-time move.
You're an athlete if you're doing that. Snake it till you make it.
All right, my who's back of the week is love being dead. Love is dead.
Love is completely dead. KCav and Jay Cutler on the splits.
They're getting divorced. I was blindsided by this.
I felt like Peter King. I was walking Stella and I looked at my phone after about 15 minutes.
I had 20 missed texts. I was like, oh my God, someone must have died.
Like way worse. The royal family is getting divorced.
So all I'll say is I'm team Jay. I don't know anything.
I literally don't know anything, but I'm Team J. So that's my quarterback.
He's got more time to practice handball. Yeah, exactly.
That's my quarterback. Bro's got to stick together during this.
Again, I don't know anything, but I got J's back without a doubt, 100% unequivocally. Any chances that Kristen Cav is taking a page out of the Kardashians E reality show playbook and this is all for some promo for the show? Even if that's the case, Hank, I ride with Jay.
Yeah, I actually thought it might be a publicity stunt when I first saw it because E is not immune to this fiscal downturn in America, so you got to sometimes drum up some storylines. With everything that's going on with Djokovic, your goat, and the talk of the vaccine for the virus, though, this definitely, they got in some arguments.
And as far as I'm concerned, any conversation that you have in quarantine with a lover, that should be, you should be able to turn the page on that because we're all going to go a little bit crazy right you can't be you can't expect jay to be locked inside with somebody on a private island for three months and not go a little crazy i think they did go home but either way team jay whatever may happen and uh yeah that's all i gotta say that's my state my statement i want my statement to just read i I am Team J forever and always.

Unless he gets arrested for a felony, which I don't think he ever would be.

But then I would reconsider my Team J standing, but wouldn't give it up right away.

I want that whole thing to be read.

At that point, you need to wait for all the facts to come out before you can officially decide where you are. So I'm good.

We're Team J.

All right.

Let's do our interview with chris angel awesome dude uh very positive guy this is like a monday motivation with chris angel before we do that it's rough out there right now everyone's isolating physically distancing but listen a man's got needs get a little desperate you might be tempted to shoot your shot slide right into into your ex's DMs. Invite her over for a quick thing.
But don't. Trojans got your back.
They're doing this thing called sext us instead. Instead of sexting your ex, sext Trojan and they'll send you a vibe or some lube to make pleasuring yourself awesome.
This is sick. Wait, how do I do this? All you got to do is DM at Trojan condoms on Twitter.
Send them an eggplant emoji and all your horny guys or girls will get something to make whatever you're into doing with yourself even better. Pleasure yourself like the world depends on it.
Dude, shout out Trojan. This is huge.
They're basically saying, hey, you're going to do some crazy things with your brain right now. Stop.
Don't do it. Sext us instead.
So all you got to do is send Trojan a DM. PFT is doing it right now.
At Trojan Condoms on Twitter. Send them an eggplant emoji.
And they will send you something to take your mind off of your ex or some kind of bad mistake you're going to do when you send out that text. So thank you.
If we all rub one out together, we can save the world. Yes, so thank you to Trojan.
Come together, America. This is huge.
At Trojan Condoms on Twitter, hit them with the DM. And that's awesome.
So thank you, Trojan, for helping everyone, you know, making mistakes they don't want to make. They should absolutely use that hashtag, come together.
Yes let's get to our interview we have chris angel mind freak okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is six-time magician of the year he is a hall of famer in the international magician society hall of fame.

Uh, I'm going to read all your accolades,

by the way,

uh,

mind freak,

most successful magic show in the history of television,

the most watched magician of all time and has the most followers on social

media.

It is Chris angel.

Chris,

thank you so much for joining us.

This is a great brother.

You could be like my PR agent.

That was pretty, that was impressive. Yeah, I got it.
i got to introduce the legend that is chris angel so uh i guess the first question is how does the hall of fame magicians hall of fame work and like did you get inducted and you have like a gold jacket like the nfl how does that go down yeah basically it's an organization that's about 100 years old. They've only given this Lifetime Achievement Award out five times in their history.
The only commercial magician to ever receive it was Sigrid Roy. And I was not only the youngest person to ever receive this unanimously, it has to be by over 20 of the board members that range from age in the 20s to the 80s.
But I am the only magician performing today to be in the ranks, the sixth person to ever get this in 100 years by the most prestigious International Brotherhood Magicians organization in the world. So it's a pretty big thing and very grateful and very humble to be part of that.
What's it like at the induction ceremony for the Hall of Fame of Magic?

I have to assume, at least in my own brain, that when you get all these magicians together

in a room, everyone is always just worried that somebody else is starting a trick on them.

Yeah.

Well, the world of magic is a pretty competitive sport, if you will, because there's not a

lot of people.

If I ask you, name 10 magicians right now, I bet can't houdini mystery the pickup artist uh david blaine david copperfield um the master magician that gave away all your tricks on fox uh not my tricks but god bluth uh pen and teller yes yeah so we don't that's pretty much it you just tapped our brains like five yeah yeah so yeah it's it's a small kind of thing and and when you want to remain the most relevant you have to work harder you know uh at the destination as opposed to getting to the destination so like an athlete um which i consider myself one because of the type of show I do very physical show. I do a lot of MMA training.
I have a gym at my house. And you have to really be, especially at 52 now, you got to be really flexible and really athletic or else I'll not be able to do a lot of these things.
Yeah, I read that you can still do the splits at 52, which is... Yeah, I do.
I don't know if you know Randy Couture, but he has a great gym called Extreme Couture. His son, Ryan Couture, trains me, and I have a jiu-jitsu coach.
So I do a little bit of training, and then I just do some cardio stuff and a lot of stretching and stuff like that. But it's really important as you get older to remain flexible and to keep your body moving uh to prevent injury because i hang upside down in the show i could kill myself a million times during the show so i'm just always trying to be like focused and in the moment and you know hypersensitive to being physically fit how did you get into you know magic like what at what point in your life were you like this is it this is my career because you got to say it's not a lot of kids don't grow up being like I'm going to be a magician yeah no they're not that stupid uh I was I was six my installer showed me a card trick and I was obsessed with magic and the power that it gave you as a young kid when adults didn't understand how you were doing accomplishing certain things and then by then by the time I was, you know, 10, 11, 12 years old, I was performing private parties on my bicycle.
I was playing in bars by the time I was barely 14. I was, you know, Fridays and Saturday nights.
Could never get away with it today. But in New York, I used to go and do bars and close up magic and stuff like that.
So I always knew this is what I wanted to do. Always had a big dream.
Took me 18 years to become an overnight success, but never gave up. And no matter what it is you want out of life, you just have to put that sweat equity in, put blinders on, believe in yourself when no one else does.
Don't waste your time on social media, listening to negativity. it breeds nothing positive.
And eventually it can

happen. You just got to really, really, you got to really be able to believe it and envision it.
Yeah. I have a very important question for you.
I feel like this is a good one to lead off with actually. Is magic real? No.
I'm an entertainer, an artist. I use a lot of things that I do are real because I try to blur the line between reality and illusion.

So like when I hang by, you know, four fish hooks through my back from a helicopter over the valley of fire or hang for six hours with fish hooks, it's real. There's no pain medication, no numbers, nothing.
When Frank Mir or Chuck Liddell or Ryan, Randy Couture or or who else am I? Who am I missing? Paige Van Zandt. When they punched me in the stomach, you know, as hard as they could, that was completely real.
That wasn't like some type of trick. So I do do tricks and illusions when I levitate.
I really obviously can't fly and levitate, even though I do it in a way that's never been done. I try to blur it out line and let the audience determine what is real and what is not.
I think it's a bit more fun for them to be able to determine what is what. Were you nervous when you got punched in the stomach? I mean, that's how Houdini got caught, right? Well, that's what I was doing.
I was kind of paying homage because Houdini, in his day and age, said that he could take any man's punch and a couple of college kids saw Houdini after his show and they were like is it true Mr. Houdini you could take any man's punch and he's like yes he didn't prepare they wailed him and essentially ruptured his appendix and on Halloween in 1926 he died of appendicitis.
So I wanted to do that.

And today, you know, our fighters are way more scientific, stronger, faster. And I just thought it was even more difficult to do that test today than it would be, you know, nearly 80 years ago or something.
so I got you know UFC champ just wanted to see how I would react to it. And it was definitely an interesting experience.
Frank Mir is like 250 or something like that. And he hit me the first time he was holding back.
And I said, you can't do that because it just doesn't look believable and I want it to be legit and he like looked at me he's like he got this look in his eye and I was like shit you know and he just let loose and uh he was just here actually before this whole thing went down with the uh COVID-19 virus he was here training at my gym with him and his daughter and his coach. So, but he, he had Chuck Liddell and, and, and, and they all, they all, they all hit hard.
And when they get a free shot, you know, it's definitely something I was concerned about, but I believed in the technique. So I was hoping it was going to work.
And it definitely had chuck fladell's uh basically his knuckles uh in my in my stomach like it just stood there the uh the after effect for like a few hours it was just like this big red mark of his knuckles it was crazy so how do you do it how yeah how do you take just, it's muscle control, breathing, distance. It's like common sense things that you just have to feel really confident about when you put yourself, you know, literally at the end of somebody that's a high level athlete like that, you know, and they're a punch, you know, so just practice, you know.
So you alluded to it a second ago, but you worked for 18 years before becoming, you said becoming an overnight success. But at some point along the way, I'm sure there were some discouragements, some encouragements.
Was there one point where you were like, I can do this for a living and I can be extremely successful? Well, you know, I knew I could do it for a living when I was a teenager because I was doing like 12 birthday parties a weekend. I was doing firehouse shows.
I played at Windows of the World. I was doing corporate events.
And I was also playing with my van in clubs. So I knew I could do it for a living.
But I was just miserable performing, you know, as a babysitter, basically doing magic for kids birthday parties. And I never was happy with it.
So I just figured I would take that leap because it wasn't about money it was always about living my dream you know you get one life you have to choose how you're gonna live it so I just really worked hard and just went for it and it just it you know when you're different and you're not like everybody else it's more difficult to succeed but once you succeed then everybody like kind of copies you because you've proven a road that can work and you pave the road. So it was a very, very difficult process.
But once I along the way saw certain indications, you know, because it was no one big thing that really happened. It was a small, small things that evolved and transformed into the big thing.
but it was a series of small breaks that allowed me to get the big break, which was really my mind-free television series, you know, on A&E back in 2005, it debuted. But I had three specials before that.
I had 600 shows on Broadway and 43rd at the WWE. The McMahons gave me a break back in 2000, 2001.
So, and I still work with them today. You know, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H or Paul was hanging with me like probably two months ago or something.
So, you know, it was a series of a lot of things. But you can never give up.
That's the one common ingredient. You know, you just got to work hard.
It doesn't matter if you want to be the best basketball player or an MMA guy or a football player. You just never can give up.
And you just have to put that time in. If it were easy, everybody would be successful.
But the harder it is to achieve something, the greater the reward. So you have the world record in a couple things and i want to just walk

through them to like explain the level of panic or how you mentally got over it so the first one was you were submerged underwater uh and had the fastest time to escape from a straight jacket at two minutes and 30 seconds how the hell do you train for that and was there any moment where you're like, fuck, I am underwater for two minutes and 30 seconds.

This sucks.

I'm going to die right so I did over a thousand demonstrations on tv alone and uh so so I think you're combining two different things but let me take one each one so I was the first guy to be underwater for 24 hours I did it in Times Square at WWE. And on Good Morning America Live, I had to escape everything.
And so I only was underwater for 12 hours in my friend's pool to see because I didn't have money back then. And I wanted to see if I could do 12 hours and I came out, I was able to do it.
But I my skin was driving me crazy because of the chlorine. It just me nuts wait so when you say you're underwater you were in like one of those clear boxes underwater yeah basically i had houdini's water it was like a phone booth filled up with water and i was underwater for the very first hour upside down with 18 pounds of chains and and and i was recreating what houdini uh in like, you know, a short time, I wanted to do it for 24 hours.
So the first hour I was upside down to remaining 23 hours as a right side up. But, you know, I wasn't really prepared.
And I didn't have the money and the science behind it. So I just, you know, brute force did it.
And yeah, I have a permanent scar on my on my nose, because the mask wore away. And it was the most miserable experience you can imagine, but I did it.
yeah i have a permanent scar on my on my nose because the mask wore away and it was the most miserable experience you can imagine but i did it and it served its purpose and then the one that you're talking about i did in times square uh in it was uh got two straight jackets i wanted to be the first person to ever try two straight jackets at the same time and they're not the bullshit straight jackets you get at the magic shop that you see every picking harry that does magic using it's like legitimate cozy straight jackets at the same time. And they're not the bullshit straight jackets you get at the magic shop that you see every big and harry that does magic using.
It's like legitimate cozy straight jackets. I had two of them.
I worked with Randy Couture at his gym because I wanted him to constantly choke me out. I wanted to know what it would feel like, what the signs would be to know when I was going to go unconscious.
Because the idea was not only was I going to have two straight jackets on, I was going to hang upside down above 20,000 people, you know, 30, 30 feet, 30 stories up and essentially have 50 pounds of weight, basically hanging from one end of a rope. The other end was a noose around my neck.
And so I had to be very gingerly getting that straight jacket out because I was fighting against myself. If I moved a lot, the noose would get tighter with that 50 pounds and I would pass out and go unconscious and I wouldn't have been able to accomplish my mission.
So I had to be very methodical. So I work with Randy Couture and he choked me out a bunch of times.
He about the carotid arteries and how to turn my neck and different different techniques and essentially um got that first first jacket off to the point that i could get the rope with my teeth off of my mouth drop the weight everything off and then i got out of the last jacket but i did pay a small price i ripped my bicep off of my bone. I had two complete tears on my rotator cuff.

I had a five-hour surgery with seven screws and anchors,

nine months of rehabilitation,

and both the surgeon and my physical therapist after nine months,

don't ever do that again.

I still do it every night on my show.

Wait, so I just looked.

That's insane.

I looked at the other video just now while you were telling the story about you being underwater for 24 hours with obviously a scuba mask. You then went to the hospital.
Your skin, like how the fuck, your skin looked so gross and pruned. How long did that stay with you? It lasted for a little time.
It was so funny because when I went to the hospital, the doctor and the nurses like there and like what's and I'm like, you know, I'm so itchy. I can't I'm just so like my skin is so uncomfortable.
And they didn't know what to do because, you know, it's not like they can look in their medical journal. How do you treat somebody that was on the water for 24 hours? I was like the guinea pig that was stupid enough to do it um so uh so it was a little challenging and and I couldn't and I couldn't like eat because obviously I couldn't go to the bathroom I was just taking liquid in and peeing um you know in a tube um but essentially you know that was it you know I've done a lot of really stupid things but things.
But it's amazing that over 1000 demonstrations, you know, and that I didn't manage to kill myself, because a lot of things like floating over the pyramid in Luxor, 550 feet, I didn't even know if that was going to work. And, you know, people that are watching this can go to my Instagram, Chris Angel, just type in or my YouTube and just type in top five.
And I set up five things that I did that were absolutely nuts. I lit myself on fire.
I spent 24 hours on water. I was buried alive.
Just hung by fishhooks. So it's like each one that I did.
And it's the ultimate social distancing. That's very true.
That's very true. What's it like when you finish with a trick like that for the first time? I imagine it's gotta be like scoring a touchdown or elation, or is it like the opposite? Is it a little bit like you're scared? I can't believe I just survived that.
Yeah. You know, I, I look back and, and since I've been, you know, we've all been, you know, kind of doing mitigation and stuff.
I spent a lot of time pulling footage and putting stuff up that I that I've done in my career because I never stopped and smelled the flowers and that my work. And so I people always ask about certain things.
So I've been posting new clips, things that I'm shooting at my house with my kids and, and stuff that was from my past. And it's really crazy because I'm the type of guy that I work harder now than I, than I, than I work to succeed.
You know, I think you have to work harder in order to remain the number one guy in your respected discipline. So, you know, for me, I never stop and look at what I've done yesterday.
I'm always looking at what I'm doing and what I'm doing tomorrow. And I'm always looking to like kind of anti, you know, raise the ante and what everything I'm doing.
I won't stop being like that until I quit. So I really don't stop and look at it.
But I have just recently because of being trapped in my house. And, and I'm just, you know, sometimes it feels like it was a different person you know um and and sometimes i i stop and i'm like holy shit wow that was that was pretty fucking crazy yeah yeah you know hanging by the fishhooks flying over the valley of fire by fishhooks through your flesh and and and some of the things that i did you know walk down the side of the luck planet hollywood you know a 30 mile an hour winds is a pretty stupid thing to do.
But I had to make a TV show as the executive producer. And if I didn't, then I would I would have lost that money.
So I took a lot of chances. We would have, you know, standards and practices, you know, like the the regulation of safety for television would always want to come and see what i'm doing and i always knew that anything that i would do they would never allow me to do so we'd always give them the wrong address that's awesome it's a true story that's awesome what tell us the fishhooks thing how the hell do you do that like mentally you fishhooks are going mind over matter your body? Yeah, it's mind over matter.

So I got a guy that does piercing who does a lot of body suspension.

And this has been a practice that's been around from a boy going into a transition from a boy to manhood.

And they would do this as tradition, as part of their culture.

And I saw it on TV and I wanted to do it. So I got a hold of this guy, Alan Faulkner was his name, believe it or not, and brought him out.
And I had him, cause it's really important when you take a fish hook and you put it in your flesh, you can't go too shallow because it will rip right out of your flesh and you'll fall. Or if it goes too deep, you'll hit your muscle and you can do permanent damage.
So you have to get it in that sweet spot. And I had no pain numbers, no pain medication of any kind.
And so he strung me up. And it's really, you know, mind over matter.
It's kind of like, you know, that's why I love, you know, the UFC and MMA because these guys that go in there are warriors. And it's, you know, pain for them is a feeling of being alive.
You know, it's like, you know, when an athlete really wants to accomplish something, they don't care if their feet are hurting, they don't care if they did damage to this. Their objective is more important than the moment they're in.
It's the end result that they're looking for. And I think I share that same sentiment.
It's the end result. So for me, I went up, I was trying to get lifted up, my skin is stretching off of my bone, the helicopter is pulling me up.
And I felt like I was going to puke my brains out. And I had to come down, which Alan was freaking out.
He's like, no one comes down and goes back up. once you come down, you never can muster the energy to go back up.
And so I had to, because I had to make a TV show, I was financially responsible for it. And no one ever did this before, hang by a helicopter and fly.
And so it was the most painful thing I've ever done and the most beautiful, but I mustered the courage and I knew I had to do it. I got myself in that mindset.
I kind of visualized what it was going to look like before I did it. And essentially I embraced the pain as opposed to fight the pain.
I accepted the pain and I started to concentrate on the pain. What does pain feel like? Like if somebody takes your flesh and they squeeze it and they pinch it and your instant reaction since you're a baby is to pull away or if you fall to cry.
But if you really study what pain is, it's just, you know, it's something that you can process and overcome. So when they were, when my skin was being pulled, I started focusing really, really intently on what is that feeling, that sensation that I'm feeling.
And I started becoming numb to the pain and was able to overcome it. And that was like a trick that I did in my own mind that has helped me so many times when I'm in situations where I'm like, shit, I could die or I could be permanently maimed.
How am I going to get through this? First of all, I just remain calm. I think methodically, I think about what my job is, I think about what I've rehearsed, I think about, you know, just being in that moment and dealing with the micro of every single moment in the moment, and getting to the end result, which is my goal.
And, and sometimes, you know, you set goals that are short term and sometimes they're long term. And for me, they're both, you know, and I just, I got, I don't, I'm not, I'm not a smart guy.
Like I didn't go to college. I was in slow classes in high school.
I just had an overwhelming desire and drive and passion, like no one in my field that I was going to do things. If it killed me, that would be OK.
That would be the price I was willing to pay to succeed and be the best at what I do. You mentioned before we started taping that you do 450 shows a year.
So I have to imagine that you're not doing the same exact tricks every night. But I would also think that there's a danger in performing the same trick multiple times that you can start to become complacent with it or get bored with the trick and lose focus.
Whereas the first time you do it, your mind is hyper-focused on every single step. Have you experienced that? And if so, how do you get past that? 100%.
Absolutely. You know, it you know if you if you think of a about a player going down the court and they practice this over and over and over again and then they're in the game and and they've done it in games over and over again it's very easy just to put it on automatic pilot what i always do is i if i find number one i i cut back from doing that many shows because I did that for like 10 years.

And now that I'm at Planet Hollywood with my brand new show, Mind Freak, I want to be a chance to tour more.

And I wanted to balance because my youngest son or actually my oldest son, I just had another kid, but my oldest son is going through pediatric cancer.

So I wanted time to deal with his treatment and do some other work for children that are going through a similar situation. But I just focus and prioritize what it is I'm trying to do and what it is I'm trying to accomplish.
And you lost me in your question. Let's say it one more time.
Sorry, I was saying like if you're doing the same trick multiple times, a trick that might be dangerous. Yes.
Yeah. I try to prioritize, you know, what is going on at that moment.
If I'm on stage, that's my priority. And I focus in that moment.
And I also think about that audience that I'll never have in the room together ever again. In the history of the world, that audience will never be there.
This is their only experience collectively. And my job is to professionally give them the most incredible, mind-blowing experience they can possibly have in Las Vegas at a show.
And in order to do that, I got to be in the moment. I can't phone it in.
There's other magicians in town that just literally walk through the motions and phone it in. We teleprompters have fans blowing.
And that's not what I'm about. You do two shows a night, every night, three shows.
You just, it becomes like a hamster in a wheel i don't want to be that um this might

be a really dumb question but i also feel like it is our scientific duty to ask it just in case the answer is like no one's ever asked this before but do you think you could make coronavirus disappear like that yeah i feel like we could get like two years down the line and still look for a vaccine and you're like, yo, no one ever asked me.

We didn't try magic yet.

Right.

You know, it for a vaccine. And you're like, yo, no one ever asked me.

We didn't try magic yet.

Right.

You know, it's a crazy time.

You know, it's such an interesting observation.

But, you know, families like mine that have a child that has a compromised immune system, practice social distancing, mitigation, hand washing, sanitizing everything all the time. And what this has done, it's kind of been a wake up call for the whole world, you know, for one to be in the moment to realize, I think, what we have and how we take it for granted, you know, and for me, you know, the human spirit is resilient.
And I really believe that we are going to absolutely get through this stronger than ever. I think, I hope it serves a time for people to reconnect to the ones that they love.
you know we take take people for granted. And working is something we all need to do because we have bills to pay.
But love is something that's priceless and something that we often take for granted. And it's important to spend this time because we have no other choice to make the most of it and to make it a positive experience.
And so that's what I'm trying to do and trying to put out the world is positivity and to be in the moment and to be positive and to have hope. You know, without hope, it's very bleak.
You have a conscious choice to make, whether you're going to choose to take this time and it's the end of the world or you're going to take this time and make something positive come from it.

I think you just did it. I think you just mind freaked coronavirus because that's the that's like we don't hear a lot of positive spins right now.
But you have to be.

Yeah.

You know, the problem is not to get political because I believe, you know, this virus, you know, has no political face.

It can affect anyone, just like pediatric cancer can.

One child, every two minutes is diagnosed with it. So it can happen.
It doesn't know, you know, it doesn't discriminate if you're black, white, rich, poor, famous or not. And I just think that the media is not helping because they're adding to the hysteria.
Yes, we need information. We need to know, but we also need to have hope.
We also need to put positivity in the world and love in the world. And we need to get that as humans.
It's essential to our DNA. And when you have people in the world that are just saying, you know, bad news, bad news, bad news, when we're home and we're isolated from the ones that we want to see or the things that we want to do, you know, we need to be practical and realistic.
but we also need to be positive and hopeful and resolute in our understanding that we will come back stronger than ever and we need more messaging like that because you know there's more people there's about 260 000 people i believe in the world that have committed suicide this year already a lot more people than have passed on because of the virus. Now, every life is valuable.
Every single life. And I'm not trying to compare one to the other.
But we also got to keep positivity in the world. It's not going to be the end of the world.
We are all going to go on. We're all going to move on.
And we're going to thrive. And if you don't think that, you don't feel that, then you're going to face negativity.
What you think is what you are. What you put out in the world is what you get.
I firmly believe that. And I think we need more positivity.
So in a way, you did come up with a magic formula, which is listen to medical experts and practice social distancing and also

have some positive thinking and just know that we're going to get to the

other side.

Yeah.

So that's the magic.

We mind freaked it.

You just mind.

It's the mind.

We might,

we might freak.

Do you mind freak just random shit?

Like,

do you just like walk around your house and just mind freak people?

No,

I, I usually, I'm always creating, you know, like when I perform, that's my job. But creating is my passion.
I love creating. Like, if you come out here, I'd love to have you at my show.
Yeah, my guest. Yes.
But I do a thing where I fly and levitate in pure light. Like you can see every little detail.
I worked almost 20 years on this. I had a company that works for NASA come on board to help me with this.
I did it on Broadway. But when you see this, people that have been in a business for 40 years don't even know how I do it.
And it's something that I'm always thinking. I'm always creating.
I'm always writing things down. I'm always working on different projects.

But I don't necessarily walk around and look at the deck of cards.

I hate card tricks.

I could do card tricks, but I hate them because like one or two are good.

But when people have their whole show of card tricks, it just to me,

like when people come to Vegas, they want to be, they want to see spectacle. They want to escape reality, their problems.
They want to see the impossible possible. They want the messaging in their life to be that, Hey, you know, I just saw this show.
I can go out and conquer the world. Anything that I dream up, I can achieve because it's not about how I do it.
It's about how you feel when you watch it. And when you have that connection to the audience, that's the purest form of magic.
So car tricks and other tricks are just like an enigma. I know how to do something you don't know how to do.
And for me, it's not about that. It's about inspiring people, inspiring emotion and making people feel like they can go out and accomplish anything in their life.
And I think that's why I have had so much success because the messaging is one of hope, positivity, and something that I have been doing now since I started doing this, not something that I started because of the virus. Can you use levitation to dunk? Great question.

Thanks.

To do what?

To dunk.

Dunk.

Dunk a basketball.

To dunk.

You know, I had Shaquille O'Neal over my house,

and we were playing a little basketball,

and we were just screwing around outside,

and he challenged me to levitate him.

And so I did.

You can go to my Instagram and check it out. But I levitated him over my house.
And then I put that out there. And then people were starting to say, Oh, it's a balloon.
It's a helium balloon. I swear on my mother, who I love more than life itself.
I wish I could get a balloon to do things like this. You can ask Shaq himself.
He did this.

Damn.

He... who I love more than life itself.
I wish I could get a balloon to do things like this. You can ask Shaq himself.
He did this. He literally flew over my house.
Oh, you guys are just doing light as a feather, stiff as a board. Middle school girls do this all the time.
Yeah. I'm watching it right now.
But seriously, could you have made him dunk? Well, you know, he asked me about the free throw, and I don't know if I could even help him with that. Magic can't solve Jack's free throws.
All right, I got one last question. He's a great guy, by the way.
Yeah, Chris Angel, Mind Freak. My last question is, you have a secret society, but it's not secret because you can go and you can, like, log into it.
What's behind that? What's the secret society about? well it's it's not secret because you can go and you can log into it. What's behind that? What's the secret society about? Well, it's a clever way to market to kids that want to learn magic because I think magic builds confidence.
It builds the ability to forward think. It builds the ability to address groups of people and I think kids need to have those um building blocks as they grow up so I wanted to put magic out in the world that I would personally teach um and I would perform what the trick looked like and then I'd give them an opportunity to learn a beginning or a beginner version or an advanced version and so we have this thing called the Secret Society where people go online and they type in this code and then I appear and then I'm able to teach them different tricks that they can do with the deck of cards because I love card tricks so much at their home or they can buy a magic kit that I can teach them how to do things with so it's basically we call it the secret society and um because we we talk about secrets and I teach secrets that you know the real secret is the magic of emotion and how to I like that how to package magic in a way that connects to people on an emotional level and that's what movies do that's what Disney does and that is the purest form of what magic is I'm watching the Shaq video I don't the house how did you do that on his back flavor flavors there yeah yeah so so yeah this is a lot this is like you know crazy stuff but but we've done like i've always incorporated you know um sports figures because i have such a an admiration and respect you know somebody that has that type of discipline to be a great athlete.
You know, like Mike Tyson, my son had a sixth birthday party. And I know Mike for many, many years.
And he and his family came over my son's birthday party, which was in February. And we were hanging and we were just talking and just shooting the shit.
And, you know, I have so much respect for Mike. You know, like what he has accomplished in the amount of training and the discipline that it took to win the championship, the heavyweight championship at 20 years old, is just astonishing.
And he's such a great guy. And so I love hanging out with these people i love you know tony hawk i'm i'm going to be doing a project with tony hawk coming up i just love these people that that spend so much time being the best at their craft at their sport the discipline that it takes is second to none and i i just i just love being around them it inspires.
One of my favorite things in all of sports is when a quarterback is able to do a really sick play action, like where they fake the handoff and kind of put it behind their back or whatever, fake out the entire defense. Do you think that you could work with a quarterback and teach them like a next level play action fake where they really think? Yeah, you know, I have thought about that because i i had a couple of guys that i've been friends with in the and ufc you know asked me about you know misdirection and different things but you know what what they're doing those quarterbacks and is is really um is really incredible like the level that they're doing it at if you look at it now and you look at it, you know, 15 years ago or 10 years ago, you see a transformation just like in the sport of MMA.
And, and yeah, I think you can certainly work toward using magic and illusion to enhance, you know, their strategy. I don't think it would hurt.
Let me say that. I think it might add another little layer.
And I don't even know what that means right now. I'd have to really study it and really kind of look into it.
But I'm sure, I'm sure, because they are doing misdirection and they are doing things to make you look over there when the action's going over there just like you know if i took something put in my hand i'd make you look over here when this hand's doing it right so um yeah it'd be interesting it'd be an interesting exercise to see whether or not someone like myself could help facilitate a higher level play i don't know if I could or couldn't, but I'd love to try. Because that would be awesome.
You've got the Raiders right there in Vegas. Teach Derek Carr.
John Gruden would bring you in. Mark Davis would bring you in.
Oh, Mark Davis definitely is a big fan of yours. Absolutely.
You teach them how to do that, and they'll be running spider 2 wide banana, and the defense won't be able to stop it. Do you hang with Mark Davis? I'm very tight with Mark.
Yes, you are. Yeah, you are.
I know I'm not a name drop. No, no, that's a name you can drop.
Yeah. Mark's a friend of mine.
Mark's a friend of mine, and we actually just he had dinner at my house when he came out here. Did you get P.F.
Chang's delivered? No, no. I had my chef cook for him.
Okay, okay. And his peeps.
And then we just met up backstage at Planet Hollywood in my dressing room about a project that I'm working on that the Raiders will get involved in. So we're really excited.
But Mark's a great guy. The Raiders coming to Vegas is just absolute insanity.
It's such a great thing for this town, especially now, considering, you know, you have the Golden Knights, which are fantastic. We've done things together with the Golden Knights as well.
Now the Raiders. I mean, Vegas is really transformed, you know, into something.
You need to have sports. You know, you need to get the town and the city behind it.
And the Raiders, I pass it every day going to work. And the stadium, they did just the most incredible job.
You should levitate it. It's so ominous.
You should levitate the stadium. That would be sick.
Well, I'm going to do something there. Okay.
I've been in the stadium a few times. They asked me to come in.
They asked me to look at it. And we chatted about some things, but I'll definitely, I'll probably do something in there because we've talked about it before.
And I'd love, I'd love to get involved with the Raiders because, you know, it's just such a great team and, and the brand and, and, and also my, my dear friend and my assistant Tom for God, almost 20 years is like the big – his dog is named Raider. He's the biggest Raiders fan.
I love it. We're really excited.
Vegas is really excited to have the Raiders. And I think it's going to be so poignant now, you know, with everything reopening hopefully sooner than later, that we're going to have the Raiders here in, what, September,, you know, some of their first games, we hope that we'll be able to do.
It's just going to bring such an energy and excitement and just something to look forward to, you know? Yes. I would imagine you can find a quarter behind Mark Davis' ear and just like, that's a captive audience right there.
Like, fuck, man, that's cool. Yeah, Mark Davis is a good guy.
Anytime I call him, he calls me right back, and he's there.

And he's really becoming part of this community.

Love it.

He's really trying to help out locally and some of the underprivileged situations

and stuff like that.

So we're really grateful to have the Raiders here, to have Mark here,

the Golden Knights. It's really, really awesome.
Yeah, If you told John Gruden that you could teach his quarterbacks play action, he probably just wouldn't let you leave the building. Yeah.
He'd be like, this is our resident in-house magician. Yeah.
He might think you're a witch. Yeah.
Go either way. But Chris, thank you so much.
It's been a ton of fun. We'll definitely take you up on the offer when we next are in Vegas.
And anytime you have anything you want to talk about or promote, you're welcome back on here anytime. I want to thank you both for having me on.
And I want to say to your listeners, stay well, stay safe and come out to Las Vegas when you can. You know, you got bills to pay, mortgages, all that stuff.
But once the world gets back, come to Vegas, come to Planet Hollywood, see Mind Freak. I guarantee you'll have a great time.
Thanks so much. Awesome.
We'll be there. Thanks, man.
Appreciate it. All right, man.
Take care. That interview with Chris Angel, the Mind Freak, is brought to you by Simply Safe.
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Go to simplisafe.com slash PMT. Okay, let's get to some segments.
We have a Mount Flushmore coming up. And before we do that, oh, we also have a deep dive with Billy.
But before we do that, we have a board slash high slash quarantine ideas from all three of us so let's go around so PFD why don't you start and then we'll go Hank and then I'll finish it off okay so I was I was thinking about this during the draft is it possible that you could draft a coach why wouldn't you just sign? Could you draft somebody to be a coach? Because then you own their rights. If you think that maybe next year there's a coach that's going to leave and go to the NFL and you want to get out in front of that, could you use a draft pick on a college coach to prevent another team from hiring them to be on their roster next year? But then you'd have to draft all the coaches, right? Because then a team would be wasting a draft pick on something they would just be able to sign.
But it's more a game of keep away. So if you think that hypothetically the Los Angeles Chargers are going to hire Urban Meyer as their coach next year, why wouldn't you, if you're in the AFC West, draft Urban Meyer, and then you have his rights for at least the next year so they can't hire him during the offseason because he technically belongs to you? I don't know if you can.
I don't hate that. But I was just staring at my TV for long enough that I thought about it.
My other draft idea was Trevor Lawrence. What if there's not going to be a college football season does trevor lawrence could he then declare to go into the supplemental draft and then somebody could pick him up as a first rounder like in a month or two or whenever the supplemental draft i think so i don't know i was actually surprised i don't know exactly how it works but why wouldn't i guess you can't draft someone before they're eligible but i was thinking about that like in seventh round situation, why wouldn't you just draft him and then fight it? You know what I mean? And basically take the risk that somehow the season's not going to happen.
I don't know how that would work. I don't know exactly how that worked, but I had the same similar thought where it was like, why isn't anyone trying to just at least fight this, like a Maurice Claret situation, and just see if they can get Trevor Lawrence on a roster? I guarantee you that Flora knows the exact answer to this.
He could tell us why we're wrong on both things in two seconds and then call us idiots and really hammer home why we're wrong for the next ten minutes. Yeah, and then get mad at us about going in and working in the office together once we make seven feet apart.
Florida would accomplish all that in a minute. So I think the way that it goes with these draft picks is you can retain rights to a player for up to a year, but it doesn't mean that they have to work for it.
Right, right. But if you're a team that has a supplemental pick why not take a shot on trevor lawrence and bank on the fact that if the ncaa season does happen it might not happen until the spring and if it happens in the spring i can't imagine that there's a lot of upside for a guy like trevor lawrence to go out there and play right up until the right so it does say right now i'm just googling it he has to be a full official three years out of high school, and that's at the end of the calendar year of 2020.
So he's just not eligible to be drafted yet. So it might just be cut and dry like that.
That would have been sick, though. Fuck.
It would have. Wait, but he's not eligible to be drafted.
But could you sign somebody as an undrafted free agent no because he's got to be i think you can't be in the nfl unless you're three years out of high school okay so you can't play in the nfl unless you're three years out of high school but he is over 18 so could you sign a contract with trevor lawrence in a month let's just say that you're the patriots could you be like hey we want to sign you to a three-year 55 million dollar contract undrafted free agent starting in june of 2021 well here's where it could get interesting and again we should probably just have florio on to explain it here you know what we're definitely too dumb yeah to us real quick but i what i was gonna say definitely too dumb to get into I was going to say is could you – what if the NFL season is delayed until January? Could you then sign Trevor Lawrence then? That's an interesting thing. All right.
He'll pick up. He's got to pick up.
Come on, Mike. Mike.
Yo. Mike, you're on PMT right now.
Can you just tell us why we're stupid? We're pretty much having a high conversation, trying to figure out why a team didn't try to draft Trevor Lawrence's rights. Just tell us why we're dumb and just explain it in the rules, because we know you know.
Drafting his rights? Yeah, or signing him as an undrafted. I don't know.
We're just being stupid. Can you just tell us why we're dumb? Yeah, he's not eligible to be selected by any team until he has three years from his high school graduation passed by.
So they can't. It'd be a violation of the rules.
It would be a waste of the pick, or you'd be disciplined for it or something like that. He's just not in the certified pool of draft picks.
What about an undrafted free agent if they don't have a college football season?

He's not eligible to be signed.

And if there's no college football season, then he can be drafted next year.

Look, the guy from West Virginia that was in the XFL,

he got drafted even though he played a season in the XFL

because he was eligible now.

It's just whenever you're eligible.

Lawrence is eligible next year.

Even if there's no college football season, he's eligible next year.

Okay, that made way too much sense.

So we're just really stupid.

Well, I have nothing wrong with creativity,

but there's a fine line between creativity and really stupid.

Okay, here's another one.

PFT had the idea, why can't you draft a coach? I don't know because it's not bad. Okay, goodbye.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
All right, so that was the dumbest 10 minutes of part of my take. That wasn't a real answer.
He ducked my coach question. That was the dumbest 10 minutes of part of my take, but guess what? You made me start thinking about it.
I was like, you might be right, PFT. Here's the thing.
We might be very dumb, but we have some very smart listeners out there. I'm sure that somebody has thought of a scenario where they can kind of skirt the rules and somehow get Trevor Lawrence onto their roster.
Maybe it's January 1st of next year. Maybe it's at that date.
If he declares himself, I don't know what I'm doing. Somebody else figures it out.
Someone do it for us. There's a loophole that needs to be exploited out there and someone will get to the bottom of this.
Someone do it for us. Alright, Hank, give us your high stupid idea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No one ever said this was stupid.
This is actually genius in my opinion. So obviously, we're all stuck in our houses.
No one knows when we're going to be out of our house. People are trying to figure out ways to make their house relaxing or make it a little bit better experience being home all the time.
But there's people like us in New York City where there's no room. There's just no room to put extra stuff.
Like you need a whole – we don't have backyards. We don't have front yards.
We don't have anything. Porch jacuzzi.
Just a one by one square. Like, remember in like Roller Coaster Tycoon where you could just, it was just one square and you could build it all the way up? Like, I'm talking like a cube jacuzzi that could fit even on the smallest of porches.
Okay, so you're talking about like one of those, you ever seen those cash machines that people step into and all the dollars blow everywhere and they try to grab as many dollar bills yes you're talking about just filling one of those up with water and it swirls the water all around just big enough for you to stand in not even standing just you just gotta like just get up and sit down in it yeah it's probably like up to your you know chest nipple area what about what about a jacuzzi suit i've heard of a jacuzzi suit before. I like that.
I was trying to invent a massage suit so we could maybe make it a double massage and jacuzzi suit. Yeah, I mean, I might have just made it up in my head, but it'd be sweet if you could zip up a big puffy thing that had circulating water in it, right? Porch jacuzzi.
I actually in college, I lived on a third floor, and we had a window out of the kitchen that was huge, and we built a little drawbridge and had a grill outside the window. Very dangerous to have a grill on a third floor.
People could walk underneath it. Very, very dangerous, but delicious too.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, we had one of those on my porch in college.
It was like a small portable tailgate charcoal grill, and we created a pile of trash out there, and then at the end of the semester, we just lit it on fire in a controlled burn, which quickly became out of control burn. It was like a whole situation with fire trucks and stuff.
All you guys are doing is telling me that the market is there. It is.
That's not terrible. You guys in your college, they would buy the Porsche jacuzzi.
That's not terrible. They can't then.
Okay. Yeah.
I like the Porsche jacuzzi. Josh Rosen.
Remember Josh Rosen had an inside jacuzzi at UCLA? Mm-hmm. That was pretty cool.
He put in his... I actually looked into maybe buying an above-ground jacuzzi for my apartment.

Like, Kramer had that in San Diego. Yes.

But I think Hank's right.

If you get a jacuzzi outside, that's even better.

Yes, absolutely.

I'm in for it, Hank.

My idea was I was doing –

You got one in the studio.

I was doing the egg challenge, which is not a real thing, where you give your dog an egg and they know to nurture it.

And then Stella just put it in her mouth and turned around and dropped it to try to like eat what was in it. Very smart.
But it made me think we should, you know how they have the SEO websites. What time does the game start? We need to create a, can I feed my dog this? Because I realized that I Google that all the time we create that site you could also do like a spinoff site from that like is it okay to ingest this or whatever people are googling constantly especially given these like quarantine times we're all sitting inside with our dogs so can my dog eat this is we'll go shoot to the top and we'll sell ads off it yeah can't can i feed my dog blank is a good one can i can i draft a coach we'll go way up after today's episode that's gonna be a google bomb that goes up i like that that's not bad oh a jacuzzi suit the reason why i think i thought it existed is because millhouse's mom wore one one time on the census.
There we go. It looks pretty awesome.
The massage suit should exist as well, though. Like a full body, you just put it.
It's basically a massage chair that you can walk around in. Why doesn't that exist? So wait.
Think about it, Hank. Don't give me those side eyes.
I'm thinking about it. The egg challenge is just giving your dog an egg and they don't bite it.
I saw it like three or four times.

I think it was on TikTok.

By the way, want to know how washed I am?

Well, one, I called DJ Khaled DJ.

Like that was his first name.

Probably my most washed moment of all time.

But two, I've started to watch TikToks just so that I can keep up with music.

Well, yeah, the new dances.

The music that they play is like because I'm not in a car. i don't i'm not listening to you know radio so i'm listening to i'm watching tiktoks and then i'm like oh that was a catchy song let me go play it on spotify real quick roger goodell did that left foot slide song right with jerry judy man in the world do you think roger goodell's giving himself a piss test this morning oh yeah he? Ooh.
Yeah. He should.
That's probably foreplay in the Goodell house, his wife checking his piss. But, yeah, so it's supposedly like you can give your dog an egg, and they basically showed it.
I think it was just labs because, you know, Labrador retrievers can do that shit where they'll, like, grab a duck and then bring it back with their soft mouth soft mouth so it was a dog it took the egg and then it went and sat in its little bed and dropped the egg and just sat there like looking at it and licked it i i kind of want to try it with yeah i mean maybe he'll he might not even take it like stella took it and then immediately she knew what she was doing just dropped it so it cracked and then started licking it up.

I think Leroy would just bite into it like it was a piece of gum.

All right.

Should we do our Mount Flushmore chores?

Gusher.

Yeah, let's do it. All right, Hank, you start.

Mount Flushmore chores, which we can discuss at the end.

There are a couple chores that actually are great.

So it does work.

Oh, okay.

We'll discuss at the end.

I'll see if anyone picks mine.

Thank you. we can discuss the end there are a couple chores that actually are great so it does work oh okay we'll discuss the end i'll see if anyone picks mine staining a deck staining a deck never done it seems like a pain in the ass though yeah super and i feel like it was one of those things where like it seems like something you have to do like once every like 20 years and it seemed like something i was doing like every spring like all right let's let's stay in a deck real quick yeah it takes forever you have a you have a hot tub on your deck no the was the wood getting warped no not even okay okay good one um my first one i'm gonna go with uh cleaning out the refrigerator cleaning out the refrigerator is a really underratedly bad chore.
You have to – not only do you have to take stuff out. You throw stuff away.
You've got to wash out Tupperware and, like, leftovers that you've had in there for a couple months. It's a bad chore.
That's an easy chore. No, there's some gross food and stuff.
That can be bad. I can't believe that – That could take 10 minutes tops.
The goat of bad chores not being on here is crazy so far. I mean, doing the dishes is the worst.
Doing the dishes is the worst because you also just ate. So you're like, all I want to do is sit down and just relax.
And then you got to get up and do the dishes. Doing the dishes have deterred millions upon millions of people from ever cooking at home because they suck so much.
Yeah, I don't mind drying dishes. That's not doing the dishes.
It's not like doing the dishes is totally different than drying the dishes. Do you not have a dishwasher? What do you mean drying the dishes? No, I don't have a dishwasher.
Well, then it's even worse. My new apartment does.
Then you should really hate doing the dishes. Yeah, I mean, that's why I just sometimes eat directly out of what container they send it to.
Of course, of course. Eat out of a frisbee and throw it away.
I made a big-ass pot of stuffing from Stovetop, and I just ate the entire thing of stuffing out of the pot. So you hate doing the dishes just as much as me, just as much as everyone.
You just didn't realize it because you just refused to give yourself dishes. and also because I know that if I eat from dishes, then I'll eventually have leftovers that I'll put in my fridge that I will have to clean out at some point.
Right.

The key is when you have leftovers, when you have leftovers, you just put tinfoil over the dish so you then don't have to do the dish and the Tupperware.

All right.

Number two, cleaning the bathroom.

Toilets, sinks, just the worst the worst agreed agreed and for some reason there's no sink in new york city that doesn't get clogged the like in terms of puking i i feel like i have a pretty strong stomach but if i have to unclog If you have to snake a sink, it is almost instant that I puke, snaking a sink.

Yeah.

I mean, my sink gets clogged, and it has to deal with my facial hair, like the weakest facial hair in the entire world.

So cleaning out a sink is gross.

Yeah.

And toilets.

I do.

Goddamn.

Okay. All right.
My second one, I'm going I do. Goddamn.
Okay.

All right, my second one.

I'm going to go helping somebody move.

Yeah.

Is that a chore, though?

Is that a chore? Is that a chore?

Okay, I can switch it up.

Moving.

Okay, just moving.

Moving is a chore.

That's not a chore.

Packing up your stuff?

That's not a chore.

That's not a chore.

I would say that packing up all your stuff in boxes to move is a chore.

That's not what chore that's not a chore i i would say that packing up all your stuff in boxes to move is a chore that's not what a chore is though a chore is something like a household thing that you have to do routinely okay uh cleaning out gutters third try okay clean gutters reaching in there and pulling out six month old rotten leaves. Moving.
There's like people who, who literally have lived in the same house for 30 years. Like you think, I'm just, I'm just listing stuff.
I don't want to do. All right.
All right. Okay.
Hank, your, uh, third, second and third pick, uh, weeding. That'd be something I feel like would only get given to me as a chore

when I was in trouble.

I'd be like, oh, hey, there's a shitload of weeds in the front yard.

Go get rid of them.

It's like, what?

I figured you'd like that type of stuff, Hank.

And making your bed just pointless.

Just a pointless chore.

Have it on there.

Have no reason to ever be done,

but for some reason it was something you had to do every day.

Yep. Which I never did.
You know, a fun fact about our friend Field Yates at ESPN, he makes his bed in his hotel room every time he wakes up in the morning. He's not.
How creepy is that? Crossout friend. Yeah, he's an individual that we recognize.
That's crazy. I can't believe that.
there was somebody in the draft that really impressed Peter King.

And Peter brought him up a couple spots on his big board because he also made the bed in his hotel room. Field Yates now immediately bumped up to the top of the list of people who could be Patrick Bateman.

And if someone said, oh yeah, Field Yates, remember him, the fantasy guy?

Yeah, he turned out to be a serial killer.

I'd be like, yep, makes sense.

Had my eye on that one.

Found out about the bed thing, yep. uh third pick bft uh all right my third one i feel like going to church is a chore that counts in my house growing up that counted as a chore okay it was like it was like cleaning out your your room except for your So, yeah, going to church.
Okay. I will go with organizing the garage.
That is a shitty, shitty, shitty one because you know that the garage is the place where you just basically throw piles and piles and piles being like, don't have to do that. That spring cleaning where you have to just organize everything and you've been neglecting it fucking sucks.
Okay, my last one. I mean, very basic.
Doing the laundry sucks. Doing the laundry sucks.
Everyone waits to do the laundry as long as possible. Wear a sweatshirt three times.
Wear jeans 15 times in a row. Doing the laundry sucks because you know it's not just a simple process where you can snap your fingers you got to do it then you got to put it away you do the fucking hanging up and all that bullshit doing the laundry sucks there was a moment where i was i was dangerously approaching middle age as like a 28 year old i bought our sick washer dryer and i had installed everything i was really excited i spent a good amount of money on it and then i did the laundry and as i was taking the clothes out of the dryer i was like i spent all this money on doing laundry and the clothes are still not folded when i take it out like there's my life my life is not any better despite the fact that despite the fact that i just spent like a paycheck's worth of money on this fucking washer dryer yes doing the laundry is just it's miserable there's nothing there's no two ways about it that it's like the one thing if i ever got super super rich one is i'd have a basketball court in my house two i don't think i would ever wear the same pair of socks or underwear again like the same like it would just be new all the time new clothes all.
New clothes feel. Just fucking throw them out or donate them every single time.
Never have to do laundry. Never have to, because also part of laundry is Allen Iverson.
Yeah. You're sure.
You know, is there nothing worse than having a new shirt that you love or sweatshirt doing the laundry once and being like, well, this doesn't fit anymore. That might be a big guy problem.
Yeah, it might be. I agree with you on the socks front though.
Nothing like a brand new pair of socks yes yes all right uh your last pick pft let's try to do a chore here okay my last one is cleaning out the car that's okay that's chore cleaning out the car i'm notoriously messy when it comes to my cars when i used to have them and so uh yeah cleaning those things out like getting old taco bell straw wrappers there's straw wrappers and french fries underneath your seat that that have been there for like 10 years that you'll never get out um the whole process of vacuuming walking back and forth to your house with like a trash bag filled with the stuff you want to keep the trash bag filled with stuff you want to throw away it's just an all-around bad time uh good pick good pick hank your last pick not rake i mean raking leaves things but also like the when you have to move leaves like you have just piles of leaves in your front yard you got to take them out back so they can get rid of them that was always miserable yeah what about mowing the lawn did anyone i like i like mowing so i that's what i was saying i was alluding to it at the beginning that there's a few chores that are actually awesome that you should sign up for and I wrote down I mean walking the dog obviously that's a great chore washing the car is a great chore because there's nothing like washing the car you feel very accomplished you get to be outside it's kind of a cool feeling to just wash that soap off your car under Underrated great chore, setting the table. Because it's very easy, and it also probably gets you out of doing the dishes.
Maybe, maybe. I just always forget which side the fork goes on.
Yeah, that doesn't matter, though. But setting the table is that perfect spot where setting the table is essentially like being a seventh-inning reliever that doesn a lot of pressure you're not the starter you don't have to cook you're not the closer you don't have to do the dishes you just got to put out one inning and maybe like a couple hits get it given up like putting the fork in the knife on the wrong side but it's very very hard to blow the entire game when you're the table setter.
I don't mind vacuuming the house either. Vacuuming is okay.
It's kind of like the indoor version of mowing the lawn where you go in your rows, you get your stripes, you clean things up. It's a little bit satisfying.
I hate scrubbing the walls. And now a lot of people don't have to ever scrub the walls because why would you? But with a big dog that shakes a lot of drooling stuff all the time.
And the peanut butter that I have to put on the walls to help him navigate to the house. Scrubbing the walls has become a very big problem in my house.
Also, last one I had that I think can be characterized as a good one, taking out the trash. Because it's not very hard, but it looms large in the world of chores, and it's probably the easiest one that looms large.

Yeah.

You know what a power move is?

Going to somebody's house and not even asking them, but taking their trash out for them and then putting a trash bag back in their trash.

That's a psycho move.

You're now ahead of Field Yates in terms of serial killer.

It's a power move, though, especially if you do it at your girlfriend uh at like a girlfriend's house boom instant superstar no don't never touch another man's trash that's crazy i think i think that's a psycho i think that's a girlfriend's parents they look at that and they're like okay this guy has it all put together he can identify when trash so wait so what we learned here is that pft you think moving is a chore but doing so much doing taking out the trash in another person's house is just like commonplace no i'm saying it's like kind of an alpha move it's very bizarre i feel like i learned some things here i don't know if i wanted to then the person thinks to themselves man i should have taken this trash out earlier i can't believe believe PFT totally cucked me on my trash. Why is PFT in my house taking out my trash? Yeah, just show up.
They don't even invite me over. I just break into people's houses and sanitize them.
All right, let's get to our deep dive with Billy Football. Before we do that, PFT, you got a quick ad? Yes, before we get to Billy, our great friend doing a deep dive, I want to talk to you guys about Muggsy.

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It is Monday. Billy's Deep Dives.
He's got cats rolling all over him.

And I don't know what's going on, Billy.

Dude, I'm trying to contract toxoplasmosis.

Okay, so that is today's deep dive.

We also have a bonus Mount Rushmore for Billy.

But please, the floor is yours.

Toxoplasmosis?

Yep.

Okay, he's banging a Red Bull. So I got a bunch of kittens, and everyone's been telling me, yo, you're going to catch toxoplasmosis.
It's going to make you crazy. I'm like, whoa.
So I started Googling toxoplasmosis. Turns out everyone's been thinking of it the wrong way.
45% of the population has this parasite called toxoplasmosis that comes from cat feces and

just like cleaning up kitty litter and stuff for cat scratches.

I got a bunch of cat scratches.

These guys are drawing, whatever.

So then-

Wait, Billy, 45% of Americans at large have toxoplasmosis or 45% of cat owners?

No, of the world have toxoplasmosis.

What?

Yeah.

And like 80% of France has toxoplasmosis. Germany has toxoplasmosis.
Like a ton of people have toxoplasmosis. So I was like, yo, what, like, what is this? So I Google it and turns out it like, it only breeds in cat stomachs.
Right. And it makes my, like in part of it is mice catch it a lot and then it makes the mice not fear predators so they're just wandering on then the cat's eating it's like a it's like a predator thing but like this isn't actually a bad thing if you contract toxin with plasmosis it basically means you're fearless yeah so i was like yo i want to be fearless like and then I was like and then of course i was like the berserker cult everyone has to contract toxoplasmosis and we'll all just be fearless berserker warriors you won't fear needles i passed out giving blood the other day because i donated blood on wednesday and then on monday you should do that but like it's i have a video of it dale took it it was hilarious can you inject can you inject toxoplasmosis no dude i'm just getting all around these cats just like cleaning up the kitty litter then like trying to inhale some of the kitty litter that's how you catch it so when i contract don't do that as most i will be an absolute fearless warrior and it'll be sick.
Okay. So but but all right.
What are the downsides? Yeah. What are the downsides? There has to, Oh, I'm looking at it right now here.
I can read you some downsides. I can give you like just off the top of my head what a downside might be is like people have fear for a reason.
The emotion fear was created for a reason. That's to keep us alive.
So maybe like not, you're basically describing that guy that we've all seen on cops that takes off all his clothes and runs into traffic and tries to get into fights with semi-trucks right like you should be afraid of that zirker mode bro what do you think we're trying to do here okay so toxoplasmosis fatigue you can't be pregnant yeah you can't be pregnant Let's see. Body aches, fever, swollen lymph nodes.
People who have a weak immune system may have worse symptoms. These can include confusion, blurry vision.
I don't know if you want this. No, bro.
You're looking at it the wrong way. Yo, so it's like an ancient parasite.
It's been around for millions of years and cats are using it as a bioweapon. Like I am going to like we got all got to get with this.
Like look this thing. Turns out I have long-haired tabbies which are basically bobcats.
Like whatever this barn cat like the father was a long-haired tabby, which who knows? They definitely didn't neuter it because it was just like they wanted its kittens because their kittens are like $500 a pop, which is crazy, but I just ended up, I found some in the barn, which is crazy. That's way too much money for it.
Wait, you're going to sell those cats? $500 a cat. Yeah, you're going to sell those cats.
This one's going to my grandmother. Okay.
This one's going to a special friend of mine, and one of them's going to my coach's daughter. Are you a girlfriend? No, I don't have a girl.
I don't talk to girls. Okay.
Wait. So, Billy, hold on.
Aren't cats, like, notoriously skittish? I feel like cats are very fearful of everything and french people too by the way

that's why they lost all the war it's like everyone you just listed is doesn't have the good parts of toxoplasmosis well i think they're just not thinking of it right it's bad mindset the french have a terrible mindset wait so so billy but how is that an advantage. So the cat gives the mouse toxoplasmosis? Yeah.

How does it... The French have a terrible mindset.
So, Billy, but how is that an advantage?

So the cat gives the mouse toxoplasmosis? Yeah. But how does a cat give a mouse toxoplasmosis before it captures it? Pooping everywhere and then the mice are running around.
And then – so then the mice are just like, fuck you, kitty cat. Fucking pussy.
Oh, I think I get it. So it's like, so if I can relate this to Pac-Man, when Pac-Man eats the proton dot, that gives the ghost toxoplasmosis and they just wander into Pac-Man.
Pac-Man crushes them. Exactly.
Okay. Okay, got it.
But from what I'm understanding, you're thinking that you can basically hack a disease. So it's not the disease, it the mindset so like for instance if we're like hey billy we got this new disease called polio it's so sick you'll never like sprain your ankle again dude it's the placebo effect you'll never walk either but you'll never sprain your ankle because you can't feel anything no i mean no that's the that's the wrong type of disease.
Let's say rabies. Okay.
Rabies. Yeah.
What's a good rabies mindset? Dude, like you have rabies and then you're like, yo, I have rabies. It means I'm an absolute psycho and can go do like superhuman stuff.
No. Uh-uh.
Uh-uh. Well, no, it's a good point.
If you get rabies, you're probably never going to drown because you're terrified of water. I might try to contract rabies before like rough and rowdy or something.
And just like go. Why don't you just.
Well, I don't want to tell you what to do, but it sounds like you just really want to do angel dust. I know.
No, I don't do. I don't touch drugs.
Drugs because drugs are bad. Just cat drugs.
Yeah. I have friends to do the do the drugs all right what else did you learn about toxoplasmosis anything um oh oh a lot of people in motorcycle accidents have it because think about bikers actually a lot of bikers have it and they have no idea and they find it like it's ants.
I looked up. It's ancedotal evidence

that a lot of

ants just assume

just assume that

these bikers who get

in accidents

have toxoplasmosis because

like you know who definitely had

toxoplasmosis? Evil

Knievel. Yep.
Evil

Knievel for sure. All the guys in Jackass.
Yes. Steve-O.
Toxoplasmosis? Evil Knievel. Evil Knievel for sure.
All the guys in Jackass. Yes.
Steve-O, Toxoplasmosis. Dude, I'm working on my cult.
Everyone's going to have Toxoplasmosis. They're going to be donating blood like crazy, working out like crazy, just housing meals, and drinking economically.
It's going to be sick, and it's all for an awesome cause of fighting the blood shortage. I love this.
I love this. I keep trying to put together what the Berserker blood cult is and what your total end goal is in this, Billy.
Like, do you want to be looked at as a leader or do you want to be looked at as just one of many people in this cult? One of many who are giving their blood to fight the blood shortage right now. Okay, I have some bad news for you, Billy, and this is just something I just Googled real quick.
If you have toxoplasmosis, you can't give blood for at least six months until you're cleared of it. That's...
A little hiccup. That's people who don't believe in toxoplasmosis.
Okay, alright, alright. That was written by a scientist with a terrible mindset.
They don't look at anecdotal evidence, which is tough. Yes.
Okay, good point. Go back real quick to the bikers that, like, anecdotally they all have toxoplasmosis.
Yeah. Why do they have such a high prevalence of it? Because the people who ride bikes are fearless.
Okay, I got it. So it's like correlation does not equal causation.
Statistics. Gotcha.
Okay. Hmm.
Okay. This is...
I love this. I love this.
I'm in. Alright, so Billy, you also have a Mount Rushmore for us, right? I got a bunch.
So we're going to do my favorite megafauna extinct animals.

So megafauna, you find a lot of megafauna today in Africa.

But back in the day, there used to be megafauna everywhere.

But what is megafauna?

The difference is the megafauna is big ass units of animals that used to roam the earth.

And the only ones that exist now are the ones in africa because they grew up with humans so they know how to deal with them whereas when we spread out and like went everywhere like they were like yo who's this guy and we were like yo we have spears swing like just likeing. And so then you had huge woolly rhinos, woolly mammoths, giant sloths that were huge.
And then we had giant birds and there was

Smilodon. There were lions in North America that were called just lions who liked the cold.

So then my favorite ones are cave bears, aurochs, which are like huge bulls that are sick, toxodons, which are basically like a hornless rhino and look like Rhydon, the Pokemon. And then there's this last one, Sarcastodon, which is like a cross between a giant hyena bear.
Wait, his name's Sarcastodon? That sounds like a Pokemon. Sarcasticdon.
That sounds like a really cool animal, Billy. Yeah.
Dude, that animal's awesome. Sick animal, Billy.
Oh, no, it's real. Holy shit.
Sickly. Dude, imagine you're wandering through.

It actually looks like a badass badger, Big Cat.

Oh, let me see it.

Sarcasson.

Megaphone of badger.

All right, so give us your Mount Rushmore.

Sarcassodon, Toxodon, Cave Bear, Aura.

Oh, that is a sick-ass badger.

Okay.

All right, so make sure, Liam, that you got those

that we'll throw on the Mount Rushmore on the side.

Billy, this has been great, man.

Thank you. Oh, that is a sick-ass badger.
Okay. All right, so make sure, Liam, that you got those that will throw on the Mount Flushmore on the side.
Billy, this has been great, man. Bro, I've been playing Warzone since 9 a.m.
this morning. It's 4.30, okay.
What about that giant baby? Is that giant baby that's been going around the internet? Megaphone. I want to find that baby and start putting creatine and whey protein in its formula and then make it an all-pro left tackle.
I don't know why. Who's their parents? Why haven't you taken this baby and started doing it? That's child abuse to not make this baby a left.
It's child abuse to not be abusing this child and putting it through workouts where else would you put this giant baby yeah like a power with her this is like you're sandra bullock this is the blind side 2.0 so we'll put the baby with my kittens i'll feed it train it like and then like this baby's gonna to be like to be it needs to start eating creatine and whey protein right now because it's either going to be a powerlifter, a left tackle maybe a D tackle or he'll make more money at left tackle or a WWE wrestler but he needs to be put on this regimen now where else are we going to put this giant Yeah, it's actually going to be worse for the kid from a health standpoint if it doesn't become a professional athlete. Because you know how grating that would be on – let's just say that you're a 7-foot tall, 350-pound dude walking around.
Every time you meet somebody, they're like, oh, what sport do you play? Psychologically, that would be devastating on you if you weren't a premier athlete. Right., just giant, giant.
I like it. So now we're into breeding and toxoplasmosis.
I feel like this is going perfectly. Billy's going to kidnap a child and then take 50% of its career earned.
No, I think what else was I saying? The freaking – oh, I have a really good idea.

I want to – I need – can I have a small loan?

How small?

How much are we talking about?

Enough to create a supplement line.

Ooh.

Guys who want to help other guys get jacked up and not lie to them.

The Rain City Jacks.

Yeah. What we're going to do is actually tell them like, yo, do you want to get a sick pump beta alanine arginine like and actually give it to them no fillers and then like we'll make crisis crisis fuel like legit like we'll get like meat protein we'll mix with taurine and then it's for guys it's your guys who are in crises but want to maintain mass so like so So let's say it's a pandemic, of course, but for your average dude, finals, you're studying all day in the library.
You can't really eat. You're just drinking crisis field the whole time.
Road trips or what else? Gaming? Gaming. Thanksgiving.
I want to make a beef jerky. You're just saying words.
I just want to make a beef jerky with taurine in it and cat food. So you can just stay, maintain mass and stay jacked.
And everyone's abusing stimulants during all these times. So we should just give them something healthy that keeps them jacked and keeps them energized.
Okay. So Billy, I like all these.
I like where your head's at. We also need uh to come up this week we're gonna have you do a twitch workout body weight for all the bros sweet all right berserker blood cult workout yeah body weight only everyone will tune in and why and you'll walk us through it they can only they gotta join my cult though because i don't want other people to know the secrets.
Okay.

All right.

Well, maybe we'll hold off some secrets.

By tuning in, you accept admission to Billy's Berserker Cult.

And then, Billy, we can do a capital call on all of the people who tuned in.

Yeah.

Which means we can just take their money.

Okay. How much money are we talking about?

And define loan.

You give me money, I make crisis fuel. Okay.
How much money do you need? I need to run the numbers. Okay.
Run the numbers and tell us next Monday. Actually, you know what? Billy, next Monday's Deep Dive.
How about a presentation? Investors, possibly you. Okay.
I also have an app idea. Okay.
Save it for Monday. We'll go next Monday.
We're going to do Shark Tank Billy football version. I have a ton of ideas.
I just come up with ideas. Okay.
So save them all for Monday. Thank you, Billy.
It's been great. Two o'clock today.
Two o'clock today, Billy. We'll go for a war zone win on the part of my take Twitch.
There you go. 2 a.m.? 2 p.m.

2 p.m.

2 p.m.

Monday.

2 p.m.

Monday, sweet.

All right.

We will see everyone on Wednesday.

Love you guys. Thank you.
Puking dubs up on Bourbon Street Backing up Drew Brees

Down in the biggies

You fixed your eyes, now time to fix the NTs