"The Last Dance" Review, NFL Draft With Daniel Jeremiah + Mt Flushmore Of Toppings

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have the last dance review, episodes one and two, a drop Sunday night.

Speaker 1 It was crazy to actually all for one time in the last like two months get in front of the TV and watch something simultaneously. It was almost like sports were back.
We have Daniel Jeremiah.

Speaker 1 We have Who's Back of the Week. We do a lot of NFL draft.
It's draft week, NFL draft deep dive. We have Mount Flushmore of toppings.
And then we had Billy just tell us the bunker that he created.

Speaker 1 The berserker bunker that's also half zoo. Just an unintentionally hilarious Billy deep dive this week.

Speaker 1 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new buffalo ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then a lot of work to be done.

Speaker 1 No paper, hang out, or washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to 11 chips. Carbon my tape

Speaker 1 bar.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA.
Today is Monday 420.

Speaker 1 Blaze.

Speaker 1 It's a traveling marijuana stretch. Shit, dude.
I was going to actually start it with, and here we go,

Speaker 1 quote, the late Heath Ledger, quote, John Rostein before the last dance started, but I forgot it was 420. So lead story.

Speaker 1 Blaze it. Blaze it good.

Speaker 1 What a night this was.

Speaker 1 You touched on it in the intro, but man, it felt awesome to all be doing the same thing at the same time as everybody. It was great.

Speaker 1 I didn't see a single tweet out there that said, oh, is the Sports Ball movie on? I didn't see anybody being negative about it.

Speaker 1 It was just cool to experience something, even though there were commercials. It was cool to experience something again at the same time as everybody else.
I missed you. Well, I agree with you.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was incredible.

Speaker 1 It's an incredible first two episodes of the documentary, but it was also nice to get back together. And it felt like watching a big game.
It felt like watching Sunday Night Football.

Speaker 1 The commercials thing did fuck me up. It was so weird.

Speaker 1 When the first commercial came on, I was like, what the fuck is going on with my TV right now?

Speaker 1 Like, the most I'm used to is that three seconds that Netflix gives you to watch the next episode of The Office.

Speaker 1 And here I am having to watch like three minutes of non-content, like content I don't want to watch. I haven't, that hasn't even like come into my brain for the last 35 days.

Speaker 1 It's the one good thing about quarantine is commercials are just completely obsolete. And here we are like suckers watching commercials.

Speaker 1 I hope that ESPN is getting like Super Bowl level money for the commercials because holy shit, we're captivated. We can't go anywhere and we're frozen out of fear.

Speaker 1 Like when the commercial came on, I thought my computer broke. I mean, my TV broke.
Well, it's from the Facebook company now. They changed their name.
It's like the Ohio State University.

Speaker 1 It's no longer just Facebook. You have to put that at the start of it.
And now they're trying to get us to put the robots inside our house after every fuck-up that they've had over the last six years.

Speaker 1 That's probably what irritated me the most about the commercials was just that it was like Facebook being like, hey, can we put a spy in your house? That's cool, right?

Speaker 1 You guys don't have a problem with that. You got nothing else going on.

Speaker 1 But it was so good and it was so fun to watch alongside everybody else that I didn't even mind. Like, I needed a little bit of a break to take a breath because the stories are that compelling.

Speaker 1 And if you were born in the mid-90s, if you're born in the 2000s, you don't remember these teams. This must be even better for you getting to watch all this shit for the first time.

Speaker 1 But like going behind the scenes and seeing all the drama that was going on, let me just say, Jerry Krauss,

Speaker 1 congratulations, Carol Carol Baskin, because you are off the hot seat as the most hated person in America.

Speaker 1 Jerry Krauss, sometimes in life, and listen, as a fellow short guy, I think I'm definitely taller than Jerry Krauss, but as a fellow short guy, you have to know your place sometimes.

Speaker 1 And sometimes your place is to just shut the fuck up. And just don't do anything.
Don't fuck up a good thing, Jerry. Shut the fuck up.
Quit being an idiot. You look like a moron.

Speaker 1 You got a stupid face. You're not going to improve anything.

Speaker 1 I was so mad. Here's the thing, though.

Speaker 1 Jerry Krauss deserves to be hated for the way that the Bulls dynasty ended, but he also deserves credit for putting together, you know, being a big part of putting together the Bulls dynasty.

Speaker 1 And the best Jerry Krauss quote out there that I've ever seen, I think it was a David Halberstam quote, when he said Krauss deserved more credit than he got, but wanted more credit than he deserved.

Speaker 1 So he's constantly stuck in that spot where he is like, I should be getting more credit.

Speaker 1 And he probably in a weird way should, but he wanted so much credit that it then became a detriment and a galvanizing force for those bulls teams to be like fuck you dude and and you saw it when mj shit talking him at the ring night you saw it scotty pippen being like fuck this i can't handle anymore like he he was he was a figure that like and and they didn't really get they kind of touched on it but like he was openly flirting with tim floyd like openly openly flirting with Tim Floyd.

Speaker 1 They kind of mentioned that, you know, it's like, oh yeah, Jerry kind of tried to trade Scotty Pippen.

Speaker 1 He tried to trade Scotty Pippen 11 days after Scotty Pippen had the game-winning steal against the Jazz to win the fifth title. 11 days.
And he had already tried to trade him a few times before that.

Speaker 1 So, yes, Jerry Krauss is going to be the villain of this. And part of me, like in a weird way, feels a little bad because he's the only one who's passed away and can't speak up for himself.

Speaker 1 He's not here to speak to him. But even still,

Speaker 1 he does deserve a lot of this criticism because it really was Phil Jackson, Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen versus Jerry Krause.

Speaker 1 And I jokingly said it before the first episode, but Jerry Reinsdorf firing Gar Pax before this came out was genius because he took Jerry Krauss's side and he went against, like, could you imagine in today's NBA the best player in the world?

Speaker 1 So LeBron James right now being like, oh, I want to,

Speaker 1 I want to, I want my coach to stay. And the front office being like, nah-uh.
Like, it's insane. It's a single organization.
Yeah, it is. It is.

Speaker 1 I think people have started to realize that maybe having a transcendental player is a little more beneficial to your team than having a decent coach that your owner gets along with.

Speaker 1 And just watching Jerry, the powerful, powerful energy of Maury from Maury's wigs that he gives off is just incredible.

Speaker 1 And you keep wondering when Scotty Pippen is going to put that ice pick through the back of his neck because Scotty was so mad at him the whole time. And I don't blame Scotty Pippen.

Speaker 1 He was 122nd highest player in the NBA NBA in, what, 1997, 1998?

Speaker 1 That's insane. Sixth highest player on the Bulls.
And it was also, that's also a classic Rheinsdorf thing to be like, well, I told him at the time to not sign that contract.

Speaker 1 And Scotty's story is a great one because it's like, you know, he came from a large family. He wanted to help his family and to not renegotiate.
Like, that's kind of what the MO of the front office.

Speaker 1 I also love the peak of John Paxson saying, like, oh, yeah, Jerry Krause tried to storm into the locker room after we won, and they played MJ more minutes than he should have because of his hurt foot.

Speaker 1 And he was like, yeah, it was a bad scene. And I wanted to be like,

Speaker 1 did you just, did you just say, like, the front office and the team having big-time rift was a bad scene, like, foreshadowing much, or have a little self-awareness here of, like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 Well, I think that's why he kind of swallowed that line.

Speaker 1 He kind of, he could have expanded on that a little bit, but he knew in the back of his own brain, he's like, you're getting into very dangerous territory.

Speaker 1 just let that one breathe for you. He also knew that he choked Vinnie Del Negro.
So, like, that actually happened as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, also. When Vinny was the coach.

Speaker 1 It was actually fascinating seeing how it went all the way back to that Celtic series where Jordan kind of willed the team's way.

Speaker 1 By the way, they went like 30 and 50 or something like that and got the eighth seed.

Speaker 1 Willed their way into the playoffs to play the Celtics. You get to see a little glimpse of the game changing because I think a lot of times we talk about, oh, this player changed the game.

Speaker 1 And you don't really know what that looks like but you can see what it looks like when you see Rick Carlisle playing out there and then Michael Jordan playing and you're like okay this was a person who took a game that was at this level before and then yeah the Celtics were that was like one of the best players of all time yes they're really good but you could see like that's that's when the game changed into like a much much more athletic version well I'd actually I'd actually disagree I'd say that's not when the game the game changed just because Michael Jordan was that much better than everyone because there was no one else like him Like, no one else came along, like, right after him or during his era who was like that.

Speaker 1 And it, I mean, that's. But see what I mean, like, Magic Johnson.
Yeah, but Magic was already there.

Speaker 1 But the quote, the Larry Bird quote, that was God disguises Michael Jordan is like an all-time quote.

Speaker 1 And that was that little montage to have magic in Larry Bird while still playing him, basically being like, yeah,

Speaker 1 he's the best player in the world. Like, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 We also got a couple of great quotes out of this. We got Scotty Pippen saying, I'm not going to fuck my summer up.
That's great. That quote's going to live on.

Speaker 1 He was the pre-Shaq when Shaq did it when he said,

Speaker 1 I got hurt on company time.

Speaker 1 I'm going to heal on company time, which is a baller move that he did with the Lakers, where he's like, I'm just going to get in shape and fix all my body ailments when the season starts.

Speaker 1 I mean, Scotty had every right to do that.

Speaker 1 This is the summer of Scotty. He was like, I'm going to go to Cabo.
I'm going to take my shirt off, and I'm going to meet some ladies.

Speaker 1 And there's no chance that I'm just going to spend that time rehabbing. And there was also a great quote later on when,

Speaker 1 was it well, Common, Common Story was ridiculous. I think he's lying about that, by the way.
Did you see Common Story? He didn't even make the documentary. He got commercial.
Like, that sucks.

Speaker 1 How much do you think that autograph would go for? The autograph of Common signing Michael Jordan's name incorrectly. That's a good question.
It's a good question. A lot, a lot of money.

Speaker 1 Probably a lot these days. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the Traveling Cocaine Circus was good. Yeah, Michael Jordan basically being a narc and being like, no, thank you.
Like, gambling, yes. Drinking, yes.
Cocaine, absolutely fucking not.

Speaker 1 Although, I said he didn't drink. He didn't even drink back then either.
Yeah, it's true, but he does drink now.

Speaker 1 His mom, his Michael Jordan's mom looking 30 years younger than Michael Jordan's like, okay. That was like, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 And that's probably maybe a little plastic surgery, but it was like, holy shit. Like, she's.
She's a fucking shit. She looks like she's still 40.

Speaker 1 This might just be the quarantine talking, but Michael Jordan's mom got on TV. I was like, fellas.

Speaker 1 The, the, uh i need what i need like it was it was a great first two episodes i fucking need more practice footage of mj just ripping into everyone and poor ron harper just like the this is the fucking butt of every single criticism that mj has to throw out there but like that's that's you know the the whole documentary starts and he's like i wanted it more and like the story the the other one was roy williams like roy williams could talk it could just be 10 hours of roy williams talking when he says freaking, and it's like more powerful than any swear word ever.

Speaker 1 But him saying that, like, you know, when the story of MJ basically being a lightly recruited guy comes to the camp five days later, they're like, Yeah, he's the best player in the country.

Speaker 1 He's like, Holy shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And being like this dad gum youngster,

Speaker 1 that gets me going. Just when Roy Williams says that about you, you know you're great.

Speaker 1 He also had the, Roy Williams also had the quote, Michael Jordan is the only player that could turn it on and off, and he never freaking turned it off.

Speaker 1 So I think that means he didn't have an on and off switch because he never turned it off. Either he knew that there was an off switch, but it was just never, never

Speaker 1 he just acknowledged that it was there.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's like the meme of the guy sweating with the two buttons in front of him. One button says turn it on, and the other button says, don't turn it off.

Speaker 1 And it was, yeah, I mean, the whole first two episodes,

Speaker 1 I think the third episode might be Rodman, but this was like Scotty Pippen. I mean, that's the other thing.
Like, people, and you know what was cool is also seeing

Speaker 1 people,

Speaker 1 because like, you know, we're both 35, so we're, we, we remember it, but not like the first, you know, the 80s stuff, obviously we don't remember at all. But like, our, our guy, R.J.

Speaker 1 Hampton, who plays for the Breakers, who was born probably in, in, I don't know, 2002,

Speaker 1 when he, he, like, tweeted, he's like, oh, my God, and they were all twos talking about his 63-point performance against the Celtics.

Speaker 1 Like, seeing that, it's like okay this this is actually gonna have the effect that that they knew it was like people who never saw michael jordan play are going to be like holy shit this is insane that was actually that was actually a crazy stat line too so that stat line was 63 and then five and six which is wild because now there's so many triple doubles and they didn't have as many back then and then the game before that i think he had what like 55 and then four rebounds yeah he had 49 i think the game before that and the and the other thing is like the rest of the team had basically nothing.

Speaker 1 I think Charles Oakley had like

Speaker 1 13 or 14 rebounds. And it was like there was no one else who was doing anything on that team.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I think it was like Charles Oakley had like a few rebounds or 14, 13 rebounds.

Speaker 1 And Orlando Woodridge had Woolridge had like 20 points or something, but everything else was MJ. It was like everyone else had two points.

Speaker 1 The best way I can describe MJ is he was so good that if you rooted for him, let's say outside, if you're outside of New York City, Boston, or LA, growing up anywhere in the United States back in like the mid-90s, and you just decided to become a Bulls fan because of MJ, nobody would make fun of you or call you a frontrunner.

Speaker 1 They would be like, Yeah, that makes sense that you're going to root for Jordan.

Speaker 1 That the Paris clips were incredible. Like seeing people in Paris just going fucking bananas for, you know,

Speaker 1 basically a scrimmage and MJ going everywhere and wearing a beret. Also, Phil Jackson had the coolest Indiana Jones hat ever.
He was fucking cool.

Speaker 1 Also, I love that sound guy just going all out for that autograph. Yes, yes.
And the armband after the game when he basically ripped it off MJ's arm. Oh, I didn't realize that was the same guy.

Speaker 1 No, that was a plan.

Speaker 1 He was like, can I keep it? And then Jordan made him take the armband off his own arm. And then they go into the locker room, they got the trophy.
He's like, I don't care what you do with that shit.

Speaker 1 Just don't give it to Jerry.

Speaker 1 The other things I wrote down.

Speaker 1 you don't celebrate an easy winner. They were so mean.

Speaker 1 They were so mean to Jerry Krauss at any turn because he always just, it's like, he, Jerry Krauss was that guy who's just like always kind of butting into conversations, it felt like.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? He's always just kind of wandering around. And yeah, like you said, Maury from Goodfellows.

Speaker 1 He's fucking Maury. And he's a combination of Maury and the guy in that infomercial that's carrying all those buckets out to his car and spills all of them over the hook of his car.

Speaker 1 Like, that's Jerry Kraus. And who knows? He might have been a sweetheart behind the scenes when he's maybe he was a good family man.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 All I'm going off of is what I'm being shown in this documentary. And I can't get enough of how much I hate him.

Speaker 1 Well, in classic Reinsdorf fashion, which ended up being a good move, but him being like, yeah, Jerry Krauss was a White Sox scout for me. And then he's like, hey, I want to be the Bulls jam.

Speaker 1 And he's like, okay.

Speaker 1 What? And he was like,

Speaker 1 I asked everyone around. They're like, don't do business with him.
And he's like, well, he was my guy. So I went with him.

Speaker 1 The only other things I wrote down were obviously that people were freaking out about how they had President Obama and President Clinton on, and they both put, like, they put former Chicago resident for Obama and former Arkansas governor for Clinton.

Speaker 1 Stick to sports to the max. I loved it.

Speaker 1 I loved it. They talked Bulls fan.
Barack Obama. It was so good.
Basketball basketball fan. Yes, you don't know him for anything else.

Speaker 1 How about Patrick Ewing? So they interviewed him about that Georgetown UNC championship game, and he's wearing the Georgetown shirt.

Speaker 1 I hope that they keep going back to Patrick Ewing and interviewing about different times that Jordan broke his heart. And each time he's wearing the polo shirt of a different team,

Speaker 1 he'll wear the Knicks shirt when it talks about Jordan just dominating the playoffs and back to a Georgetown shirt when he goes back to then.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is going to get to later on in Jordan's career when he becomes a wizard and then after that when he

Speaker 1 owns the Charlotte Bobcats, I really hope that it does because that'll tie a nice little bow on the end.

Speaker 1 I think that, so in the middle of it, he said the best way to get Michael Jordan to do something is to tell him that he can't do it.

Speaker 1 I think enough people finally told him, like, there's no chance that you can own the Charlotte Hornets and succeed as their owner. And he was like, we'll see about that.

Speaker 1 So he's still working on that one at the very end.

Speaker 1 The one thing from that first Patrick Ewing MJ game in the 82 finals, I wish they had shown the pass at the end because because I don't know what the points are.

Speaker 1 I don't think you look, like, I try to look up a point spread from 1982.

Speaker 1 If someone has it, send it to me.

Speaker 1 But that was an all-time, like, we would have lost our minds because if they didn't show the whole highlight, but MJ hits the shot, and then Fred Brown goes down and gets confused, and it basically just passes it directly to a North Carolina player thinking that he's on his team.

Speaker 1 Like, almost like when you're playing pickup basketball and some and like the other team, the guy's like, oh, pass it here just to fuck with you.

Speaker 1 That's what it looked like in the fucking national championship game.

Speaker 1 And I wish we had, like, I wish they had shown that because that was an all-time, if that had anything to do with the spread or anything, it would have,

Speaker 1 I just think about that. Like, I would have melted down forever.
Yeah, it looked like you were playing like with your buddies

Speaker 1 and you didn't have jerseys or pennies on or anything like that. And you're like, oh, shit, I thought that you were on my, the guy was like right.
The guy was being slow getting back on defense.

Speaker 1 Right. He's like, here, pass it to me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I also wish that they could just superimpose a three-point line onto the court and all that old footage just so that it looks kind of normal. It looks weird, man.

Speaker 1 It looks like it looks naked out there without a three-point line. Yeah, and then the,

Speaker 1 I guess the only other thing I had was the,

Speaker 1 that was a great story. The uh, MJ, when he's playing golf with Danny Ainge the day before the game, which is hilarious in its own right.

Speaker 1 Um, and and he says to him, like, hey, tell, tell, tell your boy DJ, I got something for him tomorrow. Just like the

Speaker 1 non-stop shit talking that MJ does is just like, that's why he always kind of had the mental edge on everything. Like, he just never stopped.

Speaker 1 Like, whether you're playing golf in an off day, most people can relax.

Speaker 1 He just, he's just not, he's like a psychopath, but in a good way, because it gets him everything he wanted, and he wins at all costs. Like, people say win at all costs.
They don't really mean it.

Speaker 1 Michael Jordan meant it.

Speaker 1 Right. I think that a problem is a lot of players after MJ decided to adopt the MJ attitude, but they don't really, they don't have the internal makeup that MJ does.
They're not as good.

Speaker 1 And so you end up just having a lot of assholes out there who can't back it up. And that's a problem.
But

Speaker 1 you're allowed to be as big a dickhead as you want if you can back it up like MJ always.

Speaker 1 I think Kobe gets interviewed for this, and

Speaker 1 that's one of the biggest compliments you can say about Kobe's career, you know, outside of obviously all the trophies he won and everything, but he was the closest thing to MJ after MJ in terms of that competitive mean streak, win-it-all costs.

Speaker 1 Like, I will do anything it takes to do it. So, it was an awesome, awesome first.
I wish we had it every night. Like, I wish

Speaker 1 they just give it to us every night because I just want it right now. Like,

Speaker 1 it was great to get it and then be like, fuck, we have to wait a whole week for more of this. And then week two is just going to be one hour, right?

Speaker 1 They're going to play the second hour or whatever from this one. They're doing two hours again.

Speaker 1 Two hours every single week. Thank God.
Five weeks. Thank God.
Not 20 hours like Adam Schefter reported. It's 10 hours long and it's two hours every single Sunday.
Okay. All right.
Thank God.

Speaker 1 So we got two hours next week to look at it. You got five Sundays.
You know what?

Speaker 1 The only thing that kind of bums me out, though, is that this whole thing was supposed to be released every other night of the NBA Finals. And that would have been like...

Speaker 1 sports nirvana to watch the finals if LeBron's in the finals and trying to like watch history and also watching history every other night, did LeBron tweet anything, Hank?

Speaker 1 He did not. I set up alerts on my phone to see if LeBron was going to tweet.
He is conspicuously, he's smashing the heart button on perfect.

Speaker 1 I would put a million dollars on him with a lengthy Instagram post tomorrow that brings it all back to himself. Because you know, LeBron wasn't.
I don't think LeBron was interviewed in this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, why would he have been? Well, I mean, like, there was some of the guys, like, you know, obviously some of the guys who came after MJ were interviewed in it. But yeah, he didn't.

Speaker 1 You know what what it's going to be? It's going to be LeBron wearing number 23 in high school.

Speaker 1 And he'll caption it like, to the GOAT, Michael Jordan, this is why I decided to strive for greatness wearing your number 23.

Speaker 1 And then it'll be a slide thing where you can look at three other pictures of LeBron wearing 23 in Duncan people. Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, also, Bob Costas. Young Bob Costas is so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 It's great, too, because... And all these guys, all these old guys back in the day when they were like just trailing around people who are much taller than than them with their little sticks.

Speaker 1 And just the media, like them just doing, like, conducting business in the media.

Speaker 1 Like, straight up just being like, Michael Jordan is being like, yeah, like, if you're doing this from business, like, that's fucked up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The, the, um, Bob Costas, like, you know, that Bob Costas puts on like three hours of makeup every morning to to try to look like 1984 Bob Costas.

Speaker 1 He's always chasing that.

Speaker 1 Uh, the other great quote from MJ was when he found out that there was like a 10% chance of him re-breaking his foot.

Speaker 1 And the doctor said, Well, if I gave you 10 pills and one of them would kill you, would you take one of the pills? And his answer was, well, it depends how fucking bad the headache is.

Speaker 1 That's the competitive amazing. Yeah, I mean, it's the for the love of the game, you know, clause in his contract.
That's also where the Jerry Krauss, like, you can point to every spot.

Speaker 1 They kind of did it. You know, the Phil Jackson, Jerry Krauss beef, Jerry Krauss basically being like 82-0 and you're still not coming back.
Pippen in his contract.

Speaker 1 And MJ and Krauss, their beef started there. Like their beef started with Krauss putting, you know, restrictions on his minutes and and basically saying, don't be as competitive as you are.

Speaker 1 And like, don't go out and play basketball in North Carolina and play five on five when you're rehabbing.

Speaker 1 That's where it all, that was like the kernel that, you know, ended up fully blooming into this final season where everyone hated each other. Well, everyone hated Jerry Krauss.

Speaker 1 But Jerry Krauss, yeah, he started trust the process, but he was just like, he didn't realize that he had a completed process in front of him the entire entire time correct um okay let's get to who's back of the week hank why don't you start your who's back of the week sure my who's back of the week uh is us the internet and you know us as a collective trying to figure out a way to boo roger goodell on thursday

Speaker 1 uh it's something we've talked about but i think that you know it's monday the week is starting you're trying to look ahead and it's like we got to really figure it out and hone down on something like solid that we can do.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's have a team meeting right now.
How about that? Let's brainstorm, get some synergy.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on hold on let me check my schedule all right yep i'm in uh let me hang on wait it's 322 let me send you guys a calendar invite for 323 this is let me know what you get so bad do you know what's been the worst by the way

Speaker 1 you click maybe hank click yes instead of maybe as a side tangent trying to get off the phone with friends and family at this point like yeah how do you do it

Speaker 1 i don't have anywhere to go that's it leroy's barking right now he's got to go outside he's going to shit everywhere if i don't get off this Zoom call.

Speaker 1 It's just becoming impossible. Like, someone needs to create something, some kind of emergency alert that comes to your phone while you're on the phone with your friends and family to get you out.

Speaker 1 Because I've gotten stuck in hour-long conversations. Like, what are we doing here? Well, here's how you do it.
What are we doing here?

Speaker 1 You just never ever use your professional account on Zoom to talk with friends and family. You always use the 10-minute trial.
That way, oh, wait, we're running out of time. Got to go.

Speaker 1 Good seeing you. Yeah, that's a good call.

Speaker 1 All right, $10 to talk to you for five five more minutes um goodell okay what's our thoughts we have we've actually talked about this do we want to reveal what we've talked we've got we talked about like doing some some of the photoshop like some of the videos would be funny just like adding adding boo audio to other videos but i'm trying to think of a way where we can really like i personally just want to be booing him okay so there are three three schools of thought that i have in mind number one You know how people like cheer out of their windows at seven o'clock every night and bang pots and pans?

Speaker 1 At 8.30 or whenever Roger Goodell gets on the stage, we all just go to our windows and we all just record ourselves booming out the windows. That's number one.
Number two is, yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 In real time, real time objection,

Speaker 1 that footage won't get out till later. It would come after the fact.

Speaker 1 How can we do it in real time?

Speaker 1 Okay. PFT, you want to go with two? Because the idea that you had, PFT, that I added on to, I think, is the solution.

Speaker 1 Your Zoom one, but then the Zoom sepsion. That's number three.
I think that might be the strongest one.

Speaker 1 Idea number two is one that Hank and I had discussed a little bit, which is, you know, the videos that are going viral of

Speaker 1 like apartment complexes in Brooklyn all singing along to Biggie Smalls to Juicy. Have you guys seen that?

Speaker 1 It's like a fake video where they just added in the track to Juicy and put like a big echo on it, made it sound like thousands of people were singing it. It sounded awesome.

Speaker 1 It fooled all the internet out there.

Speaker 1 So, what we could very easily do is just take footage out the windows of different apartment complexes and add fake booze on and be like, oh, wow, Bedstein, Brooklyn right now is really letting Roger Goodell have it.

Speaker 1 And so we'd have that ready to go. Okay, so

Speaker 1 while that's a good idea, I feel like Bleach Report's going to do that idea. So let's do three and let's talk about three out loud and how we organize three because that's the problem.

Speaker 1 Three is you're you had the idea, PFT, that we basically create a Zoom where we invite a bunch of people and have them boo. The problem is you can only invite 100 people to a Zoom.

Speaker 1 So I was saying we should Zoom section it. And basically, everyone, so

Speaker 1 we should pick 100 people that we will personally invite to our Zoom. And those 100 people have to start their own Zooms where they have 100 people.

Speaker 1 And then they videotape their Zoom of 100 people booing into our Zoom. That's a

Speaker 1 million people. That's a million people.
Now I'm confused because they're videotaping their own. I think Big Cat's a little confused about

Speaker 1 it. No, I know exactly what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 Yes. I think it makes sense.
It makes perfect sense. It would be a hundred boxes of a hundred.

Speaker 1 Yes, of a hundred boxes. So someone calls it.
So we give every single person that we invite give an invite to our Zoom. We say, you have to start a Zoom and have a hundred people in it.

Speaker 1 And then you take your phone and you come into our Zoom and you have your phone on your computer. So our Zoom is a hundred boxes of a hundred and each box is a hundred people.
I get it.

Speaker 1 and everyone's boom. Here's here's where I'm running into some trouble: blow your mind.
Is we're gonna have to invite a hundred people, right?

Speaker 1 But it's gonna have to be a hundred people that we trust can also get a hundred people into their own zoom. Well, it might not be a hundred, it might be like 20.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 They just have to start a Zoom and be like, get all your friends in it so that we can then multiply the hundred.

Speaker 1 And if those people want to, if we want to keep going down, I think we could actually get to the center of the internet eventually.

Speaker 1 Like, if we just keep doing Zoom, if the hundred people in the hundred people get another 100 people and then they get 100 people, like, we will, we will be at Bill Gates' doorstep by the end of this.

Speaker 1 This is great. And what we should do is before this goes out, I'm going to buy a long position in Zoom.
I'm going to buy some stock in Zoom, knowing that we're about to do it. Is that insider trading?

Speaker 1 I don't think it is because we don't work for Zoom. And we said it out loud.
And we said it out loud, so it's not insider.

Speaker 1 And everyone else is going to have access to this information, too, just 12 hours later than us. So, how are we going to do this? This sounds like a job for, guess who can do this?

Speaker 1 Guess who can put this together? Jake.

Speaker 1 No, no, Jake is too important to be doing something like this. One William football has to be in charge of this, and it will be his, it will be up to him to have this be successful.

Speaker 1 And there's no way he's going to make this successful.

Speaker 1 Doesn't Billy respect authority? And we have an email set up. It's not really Billy's, but we can use it for this

Speaker 1 cause. PMTIntern at barcelsports.com.
I guess that'll be the recruiting center. If you, like, you got to come forward and present evidence of how many people you can get on.
List all your friends.

Speaker 1 So be like, I know. Yeah.
Actually, what would be great is if Kevin, if you're

Speaker 1 on like a college sports team, all his friends

Speaker 1 that listserve right there. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would actually be given preference right now. So if you're in a position where you have an email list that you can get people to sign up for, we'll think about recruiting you.

Speaker 1 Billy, I think, though, my problem with Billy, though, is he respects authority a little bit too much. He's a New York kid.
He's probably born and raised 10 miles from Roger Goodell.

Speaker 1 I feel like his family and Goodell's family might run in the same circles. His dad might be disappointed if Billy is out there like organizing mass protests.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but we, but it's just we need to put him to work because if we're going to start paying him, we have to put him to work. And this is the only way to do it.

Speaker 1 So otherwise he's going to keep adopting random stray animals.

Speaker 1 Somebody put

Speaker 1 Billy's face onto that lady when Trump got elected to just screamed up into the air. No.

Speaker 1 Cause he's the leader of our protest. But you know he's going to be like, when we tell him this, he's going to be like, all right, got it, guys.

Speaker 1 And then he'll just ask a billion questions right before we're supposed to go live, and none of it will work. But

Speaker 1 we'll set him up with Jake.

Speaker 1 Now, Jake has like upgraded. Jake can help him out.
Jake will be the foreman of this project. He'll project manage Billy, and we will be the owners of the company.

Speaker 1 All right, here's the other thing, though. Here's a very important thing that we forgot.
When you send your intern or when you send your application to Hank, where is it?

Speaker 1 EMTIntern at BarcelonSports.com. You must state which NFL team you root for because we need representatives from all 32 teams to be booing.
Football is a good thing. So that's very important.

Speaker 1 Very important. And we should also do one just for the Jets because the Jets are the kings of draft night booing.
We should have a separate Zoom for when the Jets make their pick. Well, that one, no.

Speaker 1 Where it's just like a thousand different Jets fans booing.

Speaker 1 We can do idea two for the Jets. Yeah, that would be good.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Yes. Perfect.
Perfect. All right.
I I think we got it set. So send your emails if you want to be part of the greatest boo, the greatest boo zoom of all time.

Speaker 1 I think, I mean,

Speaker 1 are we the Guinness Boom?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the Infinity Boom.

Speaker 1 No, I like it. Yeah.
Infinity Boom. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like Boom Boom. Or the Infinity Zoo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And who knows what it is.

Speaker 1 A little disambiguation for the people. All right, Peter Rambe.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, was that it? Yeah. Okay.
PFT. Okay.
That was a good one, Hank. My who's back to the week is leaked Wonderlick scores.
So on Friday, a bunch of Wonderlick scores came out.

Speaker 1 And not only were they leaked Wonderlick scores, which is probably the most fucked up part of draft season.

Speaker 1 I don't know why people still report on these, but they were also incorrect leaked Wonderland scores. I saw that.
Which tells me...

Speaker 1 It's smokescreen season for someone out there. Like, someone wants the rest of the NFL to believe that Tua is dumb because they gave Tua a 13 in the first Wonderlook score.
It's not true at all.

Speaker 1 That's not what he got. He ended up getting, I think, like an 18 or a 19, which is not great, but it's not bad.
And so there's somebody out there that's actively undermining Tua.

Speaker 1 Not sure who he could be, Nick Sabin. But for whatever reason, I don't know, maybe the Dolphins are scared that the Redskins are going to take him number two overall or something like that.

Speaker 1 And so they're putting these fake scores out there. But it's funny because it goes back to

Speaker 1 like NFL GMs

Speaker 1 very fickle people. They don't want someone who's really dumb, but they also don't want someone who's smart enough to realize how dumb their coaches can be.

Speaker 1 So there's like this Goldilocks zone of how smart you want your quarterback. And I think it's anywhere between like a 15 and a 35 in terms of your Wonderlook score.

Speaker 1 Can I ask you a question for the Redskins? Because you keep alluding to it. You keep throwing out like, do I want to or do I not? It doesn't seem like the Redskins even are considering it.

Speaker 1 Are you, will you be, Are you considering it at all? Well, I am off and on.

Speaker 1 But again, I don't know what the Redskins actually

Speaker 1 think because this is a new regime. So I don't know what their moves are, like how closely to the best they play things.

Speaker 1 But now I'm back on Chase Young because I saw a report on Friday that he is actually like LeBron. Like his parents didn't stop growing until they were like 28 years old.

Speaker 1 And so he's like 6'5 right now. There's a good chance that he could end up being like 6'8, 6'9.

Speaker 1 Every time they talk about him, he will get, he will get an inch or two taller and like five pounds heavier every time an announcer mentions him.

Speaker 1 So like, I don't know, Khalais Campbell is a pretty good pass rusher, and he's like 6'9. 6'9 is like when

Speaker 1 you had had like Madden in 96 for N64 and you could basically, you could make everyone like seven feet tall and 450 pounds and 99 ratings. Yeah.
Like just freaks of nature. I don't know.

Speaker 1 6'9 would be, I feel like there's definitely a point of

Speaker 1 when you're a little too tall for being an edge rusher that probably starts hurting. I mean, too tall Jones, wasn't he pretty good?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was pretty tall. Hall of Famer.
How tall was he?

Speaker 1 Might say he was terrible. Clays Campbell is 6'8 ⁇ .
Yeah, 6'8.

Speaker 1 He's probably 6'7. He'd be 6'7.
They always do that. He'd be a good pass rusher.
I don't know. So I keep going back and forth.
Tua just looks awesome. Throwing that football.

Speaker 1 ball left-handed without the stripes on it looked way cooler than he did in college. So I go back and forth.
I'd be happy with either one.

Speaker 1 But for me, it's mostly like if you get a quarterback, that's just fun. That's just something that you can look forward to all season long.
It's like, oh, we got a brand new toy.

Speaker 1 And then by year two or three, once it actually starts to shake out, it can get a lot worse or a lot better. But I'd be happy with either one.
Right now, I'm officially back on Chase Young. Okay.

Speaker 1 My who's back is

Speaker 1 me because I'm going back on a diet, boys. It's officially diet season.
We're back. And not only that, because I also, what are you, what shaking your fucking head at? It's the quarantine.

Speaker 1 I've gained like 20 pounds. Okay, so it's time to get back.
It's time to get back. And also, I don't know if you're noticing you're going to plateau and not gain any more weight.

Speaker 1 That would be great. Just put your, yeah, put your finger in the dike.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's not.
No, that's a wall. That's a wall.

Speaker 1 That's a wall. Shout out to you.
That's a wall. Is that not a wall? It is.
No, it's a dam, is what it means. It means

Speaker 1 it's a dam and it's stopped. That's the word word for it, is it not?

Speaker 1 So, what yeah, it is. Okay.
What I think we should do, um, because I'm sick of like all these weight loss challenges and weight gain challenges. I suggested this to our good friend Cole last week.

Speaker 1 Why don't we do a weigh-in and just have a weigh exactly?

Speaker 1 the same challenge, like down to the exact ounce, and see if we can maintain our body weight through the rest of this quarantine, not gain or lose a single pound. I think that's almost harder.

Speaker 1 I would like to, I would like to do that, but I would like to first take off a few pounds because I don't know if you saw

Speaker 1 Well, no, vest has been working. I've been using the vest, but I've been eating like a fucking asshole.
So

Speaker 1 I'm going to. Your problem is that you've

Speaker 1 cultivated too much muscle. Yeah, probably gaining too much muscle.
And also, I don't know if you saw, but I took the offensive coordinator job at USC. So I'm going to be...

Speaker 1 When you're in L.A., it's different. Like, you can't be fat.
You can't be a fat piece of shit in L.A.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 I need to lose weight. I'm going to do it.
Coach Doug's married? Yeah,

Speaker 1 but he never brings his family with him. He just leaves them every stop.
They're still in Toledo.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's smart. He probably just sleeps in the office, anyways.
At the Applebee's.

Speaker 1 But I'm going to, I need everyone to shame me. So

Speaker 1 if they think I look fat, just be like, yo, dude, you look fat. I think you look better right now.
Which is not different than anything anyone ever does anyway.

Speaker 1 When you look really skinny, I'm not going to lose any weight because you can't. There's nothing you can do more than what you're already doing.

Speaker 1 Not eat. When you look really skinny, you look like that's not going to happen.
It's like pinned your legs from Pinanteller, Teller, and it's not a natural look. I'm going to not eat.
Big Cat.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to eat. I'm not going to eat, bitches.
Okay. You see this face? See his mouth?

Speaker 1 Just go all the way. I just gave PFT the key.

Speaker 1 I just gave PFT the key. I'm going to start eating more.
I'm going to put on the show.

Speaker 1 We should, at some point, when things get back to normal, we should try to do a challenge where Big Cat and I meet. At the same weight in the middle.
I'm down for it. That would be legit.
Hank, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we all, if we just become the two, yeah, the 200 club.

Speaker 1 I've tried to get to 200.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I can make it up yet.

Speaker 1 Dude, if I can get down to 200, you can get up to 200. Yeah, I can get up to 200.
You can lose like 40 pounds.

Speaker 1 I'd be so much better at the Peloton if I had 200 pounds of weight to push down on those things.

Speaker 1 I'd be like Christian Bale and the machinist. I'd just be walking around.
You guys would be carrying me around from podcast to podcast. But it'd be worth

Speaker 1 Christian Bale and Veep, and I just chug melted ice cream to get up to Dick Cheney weight. Yeah, perfect.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's do our interview with Daniel Jeremiah, draft expert. We'd ask him all the draft questions.
Pretty much a draft prep for everyone out there who might not be fully prepped.

Speaker 1 Wait, before we do that, PFD, you got an ad? Oh, what do you got? I had one more who's back. I forgot to mention.
This is a massive who's back for me.

Speaker 1 So as a connoisseur of high fashion, I enjoy going to Marshalls, and Marshalls is back big time right now. I don't know if you saw the news, but Neiman Marcus is going to file for bankruptcy.

Speaker 1 That means that Marshalls and TJ

Speaker 1 Max is just going to get a shoot of merchandise, like pristine merchandise delivered to them, to their doorstep. It's a bargain hunter's dream season right now.
I'm

Speaker 1 excited about going there.

Speaker 1 Once it opens back up,

Speaker 1 I'm just going to be the first. I'm going to camp out like I'm waiting for concert tickets, HF Festival tickets back in 1999.

Speaker 1 I'm going to camp out outside the Marshalls just so I can get a pair of like Valenciagas for less than a thousand bucks. It's going to be sweet.
Nice, nice. All right, let's do Daniel Jeremiah.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on Daniel Jeremiah. He is an analyst for the NFL Network, writer for NFL.com.
He was a scout for the Ravens, the Browns, the Eagles. He knows everything about football.

Speaker 1 He's got mock drafts. I think you're on 3.0 right now.

Speaker 1 Thank you for joining us, and let's get right into it. I want to know the thing that I think everyone's buzzing about.

Speaker 1 What has happened in the draft circles that has now had Justin Herbert jump Tua in all the mock drafts?

Speaker 1 Is this smoke or is this actually something that you think is going to happen or is it agent talk?

Speaker 3 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 It's hard to tell between what's smoke and what's real, but I just know, and talking to folks around the league that are dialed in with the Dolphins, they say they love Bro as the top guy.

Speaker 3 And then after Burrow, there's a split.

Speaker 3 So I did a the one where I switched it up was a couple weeks ago, and I said, okay, if it's split in the room with Herbert and Tua, Herbert's healthy, so maybe that would give the tie to him.

Speaker 3 I don't think it's close. I have Tua is a much better player than Herbert.

Speaker 3 But when you start hearing those things that it's kind of up in the air, I'm like, okay, well, maybe the health thing. And then all of a sudden, like, it's coming from everywhere now.

Speaker 3 And it's it's like, it's, you know, that's what makes me nervous. I'm like, well, maybe this is all, it's too much.
Like it's too much information about the Herbert stuff.

Speaker 1 So when you do your mock draft, let me back up real quick because I think that people sometimes get confused when we get into the mock draft season.

Speaker 1 You're a lot of times predicting, or no, you are predicting what you think is going to happen, not what you would do if you were drafting for these teams.

Speaker 3 100%. I always explain it.
Like I do my top 50 list, how I rank the players with my eyes. I do the mock draft with my ears.
So that's why I'm like cracking up.

Speaker 3 Like, people get all upset about mock drafts, and they're like, dude, you don't know. I'm like, dude, I heard this from somebody in the league.

Speaker 3 Like, you're not going to hurt my feelings if you don't like my mock draft. I mean, it's just what people are telling me around the league.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't necessarily do that, but that's what I think is going to happen.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, as far as the top of the board, I'm looking, I'm reading your mock draft right now. You have Joe Burrow going number one.
You've got Chase Young going second.

Speaker 1 Is there any chance at all that the Redskins opt to go with Tua at number two? Are they dead set on Chase Young?

Speaker 3 I don't think so. I think the more likely thing would be they take Chase Young would be number one.
Number two would be they get,

Speaker 3 which I wouldn't advise either. Like, if you get a chance to get a premier edge rusher, just take him.
Don't trade out of that pick. Have a dominant defensive line.

Speaker 3 You saw what the Niners did last year. Like, that's the blueprint if you're the Redskins.
Just follow it. Don't screw it up.
But, I mean, I think there's a good chance Kyle Allen ends up beating out.

Speaker 3 uh Haskins, but I don't think they're going to take Tua. I think if he was totally healthy, no concerns, I would be standing on the soapbox saying, just take him.

Speaker 3 Like, he's much better than Dwayne Haskins. He's much better than Kyle Allen.
Just take Tua. But I think the injury kind of muddies that up a little bit.

Speaker 3 And when you've got a sure thing like Chase Young just sitting there,

Speaker 3 just take him. But I do want to tell you guys, speaking of Burrow, real quick, I went and visited with him up in up at Jay Sarah High School in Orange County to watch him work out and throw.

Speaker 3 And you'll be happy to know that he was rocking your gear during the workout.

Speaker 1 So he's representing.

Speaker 1 Which shirt was he wearing was he wearing the uh coach oh one or was he wearing joe exotic uh it was a it was a long sleeve i think it was just the part of my take uh nice

Speaker 1 gray like a long gray sleeve tee that's good that's good to know that none of the uh you know scouts around the league have knocked him down at all for doing the post-game uh national championship interview with us drunk when we all were drunk so that's good to know america was drunk yeah america was drunk so that's good it's international waters i i want to jump back real quick to what you just said about doing the top 50 with your eyes and doing the mock draft with your ears.

Speaker 1 What was the time, and I'm sure you can think of like the one time where your ears were deceived, where someone, you know, the hype, the things you were hearing were all smoke and you looked not stupid because everyone's doing mock drafts.

Speaker 1 It's hard to predict, but the one time where it was totally different and it was almost like everyone kind of bamboozled the entire industry of mock draft experts. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3 I can can tell you a couple, like, there's a bunch of them that jump out to me. They're usually quarterback-related, but I knew I had buddies on the staff with the Chicago Bears.

Speaker 1 Oh, and I asked, you know, never mind. No, no, go on.
Go on this question. Turn big ass microphone.
Go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 1 I regret that question.

Speaker 3 So I had talked to him on the staff, and I'm like, hey, um, there's another person in the league that told me, like, the Bears are going to take Trubisky.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, I'm telling you, like, just tell me, like, if you don't know, just tell me you don't know, But, like,

Speaker 3 just let me know one way or the other here. And he's like, dude, I'm telling you, go to the bank.
We are not taking Mitchell Trubisky. That's not, we're not taking him.
Like, it's not happening.

Speaker 3 Zero chance. And then they take him.
And I, like, I'm on the draft coverage live, like, during a commercial. I text him.
I'm like, dude, the world. He's like, no idea.
Like, we literally had no idea.

Speaker 3 There were so few people that knew that was going down.

Speaker 1 So your source was John Fox because John Fox didn't even know. And he was the head coach at the time.

Speaker 3 I think that, yeah, I think a lot of that stuff came out after the fact but i mean it was that that was crazy like nobody knew and then uh uh caldwell the year when they took bortals um he's their gms is a buddy of mine so i'm talking with dave and um i'm like hey let me uh let me go through the players you might pick i've done it with him every year and so i'll get like eight players so tell me if you take this guy when i'm on tv i can explain why you took him So over eight guys, I don't know who you're going to take, but whoever you pick, I can, you know, explain it.

Speaker 3 So I get through a bunch of the list and nobody had them taking Bortles. Bordel was going to be like in the 20s.
That's kind of what we all expected.

Speaker 3 And then I get to ask about Bortles after I've asked about eight guys. And he's like, hey, oh, hold on, I got another call, dude.
I got to go. And he hung up on me.

Speaker 3 He wouldn't, and he, and I didn't think anything of it. Like, I was so dumb.
Like, he didn't want to talk about the kid. And then, of course, they take him with the third pick.

Speaker 3 So I called him the next day. I'm like, you didn't have anybody in the other line, did you? He's like, nah, I just, I didn't want to, I didn't trust my poker voice.

Speaker 1 So he, he bailed. Okay, so between Mitch and Bortles, this was the worst question in part of my take history because that sucks.
Both of those things sucks. Those are our guy.
Bortles is our guy.

Speaker 1 That's funny.

Speaker 3 I can give you one more, though. I can give you one more.

Speaker 1 This will be a happy ending. Oh, Shane McClellan.
Yeah, Shea McClellan. Tell me about that.

Speaker 3 Shea McClellan was underrated in Boise. Okay, this wasn't used for me.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to defend that.

Speaker 3 Lamar Jackson. So I'll call my buddy who's a director of player personnel with the Ravens, who I worked with back in the day.
And he's got his son with him. He's going to Little League practice.

Speaker 3 So he's calling me. It's like the week of the draft.
I'm like, what's going on? You're doing well. Yeah, I'm doing well.
What's going on? I was taking my son to practice.

Speaker 3 So I start asking him about players and he's big and everything. So I ask his son in the back seat.
I go, hey, what's going on? He's like, oh, hi, Mr. Jeremiah.
How's it going?

Speaker 3 I go, who's your favorite player in the draft? He goes, Lamar Jackson. And I'm like, freck, I should have known, man.
He already let his son know that like this. It's going to be a Raven.

Speaker 3 I should have seen the signs and I didn't pick up on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should just start interviewing General Manager's kids and they won't be able to keep their mouths shut. Yeah, that's a lot.

Speaker 3 That's the plan.

Speaker 1 I want to get to one of my favorite parts of draft season. It's also anonymous scout season.
So I love the anonymous scouts. I love all these reports.
I love it when what's his name?

Speaker 1 Nolan Naraki would lead off the profiles by saying whether or not a player's parents were divorced or still married. I love all these rumors and scuttlebutt.

Speaker 1 The leak that came out today was from an anonymous scout, and he says that he has concerns about Mickey Bechton because

Speaker 1 he loves to cook and eat more than he loves frigging football

Speaker 3 first of all is that an issue for an offensive lineman to love to cook and eat well i think we need to get more information on what he's cooking and what he's eating i mean i think that that goes without saying i mean he's uh i don't know i think it's so stupid he's a great player he was heavy when he was early on early on in his career at louisville he lost a bunch of weight he's been training like crazy down in dallas um

Speaker 3 i i think it's silly i i you've got to put in your report that the things that people tell you, but even if I was told that at a school that he loves to cook, I don't know that in eight years of scouting I ever rode into somebody's background that they love to cook.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Uh, no relevance for me.

Speaker 1 Good to know. Now, my theory on this one is actually that it came from the Raiders and then it came from Mike Mayock.

Speaker 1 This seems like a Mike Mayock thing to leak to somebody because they want to be able to draft him. And so he's that's in Mike Mayock's mind.

Speaker 1 That's him like slandering the player and having him drop a little bit. I don't think it's going to work.
I just want to say that for the record.

Speaker 1 I don't think that he's going to be on the board with the Raiders.

Speaker 3 I just know if

Speaker 3 you could see all the reports from all the players in this draft that like loves to cook would be rather low on the list of things that might concern you.

Speaker 3 I would love to say the worst thing about myself is that I love to cook. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's, you know, I'd be okay with that.

Speaker 1 All right. This might be a difficult question to answer, but I want you to scout the scouts.
And you were a scout. When you were a scout and after that, so now you're obviously on the other side.

Speaker 1 Like, do you think that NFL scouting, they do a good job? What is their weakness?

Speaker 1 Because we all play armchair, you know, Monday morning quarterback where we look back and we say, how could you do that? Do you think that in general these guys are doing a good job?

Speaker 1 Or are there weaknesses that you see glaring year in and year out where

Speaker 1 they're just not doing X, Y, or Z?

Speaker 3 Well, I would say they have less influence in the draft process than people realize, and that's really changed a lot. So they're not as involved.

Speaker 3 And one of the reasons why there are anonymous scouts that go and talk to reporters is because a lot of them are frustrated because nobody's listening to them in their building.

Speaker 3 So I've done all this work. I've traveled.
I've been away from home. I want to tell somebody about these guys.
So they go to the media and talk to them.

Speaker 3 So, you know, it's a hard job to figure these guys out, no question. But I think some people kind of think it's the scouts.

Speaker 3 And a lot of times, this decision is getting made by the head coach, the general manager, and maybe the director of player personnel. And the scouts, we call a lot of them information gatherers.

Speaker 3 Just go out there. You're like glorified private detectives.

Speaker 3 Go out there and get as much information on these players as you can and let us sort out whether or not they can play or not.

Speaker 1 It didn't be like that.

Speaker 3 When I started in 2003,

Speaker 3 scouting was you were in the draft room on draft day. You were a big part of the process of ranking the players.
And it's not like that very much anymore.

Speaker 1 Did you have to do any assignments?

Speaker 1 Like, I remember when Justin Blackman was coming out, they had somebody go to Stillwater and hang out in a bar for the entire week and make little tallies on their arms of how many times Justin showed up.

Speaker 1 Did you ever get asked to do anything weird like surveill a player, like stake him out or something?

Speaker 3 There was a player coming out. It was a corner, I believe, that had been in a fight at an In-N-Out burger out here about like an hour and a half from my house.

Speaker 3 He went to high school like an hour and a half away. And so they had to get to the bottom of what happened in this fight at an In-N-Out burger.

Speaker 3 So I had to go to talk to his high school coach

Speaker 3 by himself, talk to him, get his version. He has two brothers.
They wanted me to meet with both brothers, but not at the same time because they wanted all the stories lined up.

Speaker 3 So I'm driving all over LA to find out about some fight that happened at Inn Outberg. It was like the most harmless thing.
Like it was no big deal at all.

Speaker 3 And that was like my moment where I had had some opportunities in the media and I was like, oh man, I think I'm good. I think the scouting thing, I think I'm good on chasing down all this information.

Speaker 3 Like let's

Speaker 3 look and see what's out there in the TV world.

Speaker 1 So knowing that what you just said, which is very interesting, that scouts don't really get hurt as much as they used to, are there specific teams that still do use a lot, like they lean on their scouts more than the rest of the NFL?

Speaker 1 Like, which teams really have,

Speaker 1 you know, like the flow of ideas really happen here and the GM is listening to everyone and not just making their decision and saying everyone else fall in line?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think there's...

Speaker 3 There's still some teams like that. You know, Joe Douglas is a good buddy of mine, so we grew up together with the Ravens, and I know that's the way he grew up in it.

Speaker 3 So I know with the Jets that he's built his staff to try and be able to do the same thing there. The Eagles have really good staff.
I know

Speaker 3 they do some more of that, but I'm telling you,

Speaker 3 you could probably count on one hand the teams that really, really rely and

Speaker 3 have a lot of influence from their scouting. It's just different, man.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at the log jamba wide receivers here.

Speaker 1 Cee Dee Lamb, Jerry Judy, I don't know which one's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Speaker 1 But you have CeeDee Lamb going to the Jets and then Judy going to the Raiders.

Speaker 1 Is there any chance that the Ouija board that they use to communicate with Al Davis pops up and it says you have to draft Henry Ruggs because he ran like a 4-2?

Speaker 1 Or are they going to stick with one of those two top guys that you said?

Speaker 3 I think there's a chance that Ruggs can be the first receiver to go. I know I've talked to some teams that have him as a top receiver.

Speaker 3 So it just kind of depends on what you're looking for, what you have. We talk about like, you know, the receiving core is like a basketball team.

Speaker 3 You want different sizes, you know, power forwards, point guards.

Speaker 3 And if you have a bunch of those bigger guys, you really need speed.

Speaker 3 Bills are a great example.

Speaker 3 Rugs, to me, makes the most sense for them. They need speed.
They don't have any speed. So that to me would put him above some of these other guys.
But the Raiders, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I mean, it would be tempting. I'm hoping

Speaker 3 Rugs goes to the Niners because I want to see him with Shanahan and his creativity to see what he can do with him. That's where the perfect landing spot would be.

Speaker 1 So speaking of wide receivers, everyone knows the story of this draft is that it is

Speaker 1 probably the deepest draft in terms of wide receivers. How do you think teams are going to approach this on draft night?

Speaker 1 Are they going to, one, say, all right, this is a deep draft, but we, once the run of receivers start, we got to get ourselves in there?

Speaker 1 Or are you going to see teams really wait back and be like, we can get a first-round talent in the late second round when it comes to the receiver position?

Speaker 3 I think it's going to be fascinating to watch because there's like, you know, five or six guys that are worth first-round picks.

Speaker 3 But because the sheer number of them, I think there are some teams that are going to wait and say, you know, I love this guy, but I can wait and get a similar tier in the, you know, the third round this year.

Speaker 3 So I think you'll see some teams approach it that way, but the top guys, like the top three or four, I mean, they're all the way up there for a reason.

Speaker 3 And if you're the Raiders who don't, legit number one receiver, the Jets don't have a legit number one receiver, I know Denver really wants to pair somebody up with Cortland Sutton.

Speaker 3 So I think some of these teams are a little more motivated than others.

Speaker 1 So speaking of the Jets, and you mentioned Joe Douglas, who's a friend of yours, can you walk us through how you you planted that story that you were being looked at for a front office job?

Speaker 1 Because that was, listen, you're smart.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're in the TV side, every five or six years, you need to get a story that you're thinking about going back to the scouting world to kind of keep you relevant.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, eventually you have to do like the John Gruden or the Mike Mayock and be like, all right, let's do it. We're going to jump it.

Speaker 1 I would imagine that's going to happen like in 10 years. But how did you plant that story? That was masterful.

Speaker 3 Hold on. I want to say, I got to write this all down real quick here.

Speaker 1 Figure out how I can do this.

Speaker 3 So it's, it's, I should have, I should have then renegotiated my contract.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your timing was on. That would have been a play.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me write that down real quick. So you do that in a contract year, and then you say, I'm going to go to the NFL.
They're going to pay me $4 million a year to be a general manager.

Speaker 1 But if you give me half that, I'll stay. So do you, but seriously, do you talk to owners to get your name out there? Or do you do the scouts? Like, where, what's the approach there?

Speaker 3 I, I, I have zero contact with owners, unfortunately. If I can develop more relationship relationship with owners, I think that would be a good thing for a variety of reasons.

Speaker 3 But I am thinking now I've set the timer. So this Jets thing, I think, was last year.
Yep. So what do you think? Like every two years we get this?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. Two years means two years is thirsty.
That's desperate. It's more like every four or five years.
Just get your name in there for an opening job.

Speaker 1 You don't have to take it, but at least has people be like,

Speaker 1 his analysis is so good that a team wants to hire him. Yeah, and it should be with a major market, too.

Speaker 1 Like, you don't want to just throw out that, you know, Tampa Bay is interested in you or whatever. You want it to be like an L.A.
team, a New York team, maybe even the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Maybe have Jerry Jones being like he wants somebody else that's not his son to boss around. So they're thinking about bringing you in.
They've got the purse strings. They can do it.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, there's definitely an art to this.

Speaker 3 I'm just trying to think if we use like Schefter did that one. Right.
So you don't want to go back to the same guy because

Speaker 3 that could get kind of dicey.

Speaker 1 My dog could do it.

Speaker 3 Rotate it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll rotate or we could we could leak it out there tell you what i'm actually an owner of the green bay packers so you could say packers ownership has had conversations with daniel jeremiah about bringing him in as the front office so um you can actually report that legitimately now so i'm going to pencil you guys in for the four years from now done okay and then and then i've got to start working it's like the olympics i can just kind of treat this as the olympics every four years well not this year but most years you have the olympics every four years and then i can just coincide that with a leak.

Speaker 1 Yeah, perfect. That's how you time it out.
So PFT just mentioned the Packers. Your mock draft has the Packers taking a quarterback in round one.
So Matt LaFleur does hate Aaron Rodgers that much.

Speaker 3 I just think it makes sense for them. This is what they've done.
They've had a guy for like 15 years, and then they draft a guy, let him sit for a couple of years, and he goes on for another 15 years.

Speaker 3 And I just think of like that situation, how jealous you would be if you were, you know, a team like the Redskins who've been trying to find their quarterback for like 20 years, and now you know, you get teams like the Packers that just have the same guy for like 15 years, hand it off to the next guy for 15 years, hand it off to the next guy for 15 years.

Speaker 1 It's actually been longer than 20, it's been, I think, 30 years.

Speaker 1 I mean, listen now, yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to compliment the Packers, but it is true that like the worst time to look for a quarterback is when you need one.

Speaker 1 So, do you actually think that Jordan Love is worth a first-round pick? Do you have him up there with Tua, Burrow, Herbert?

Speaker 1 Like, maybe, maybe break down down those four guys and who you think is going to have long-term success.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I have a couple tiers. So to me, it's Burrow and Tua in that top tier together.

Speaker 3 Then there's a pretty significant drop-off and you get to Herbert and Love. And for a while, I had Love over Herbert.
Love's the most talented guy. He's got the most ability of anybody.

Speaker 3 Like if you just want to watch somebody throw a football, he's the most talented guy, period. But decision-making is a major issue.
Field vision is a little bit of an issue with him. He needs time.

Speaker 3 I'm just going to need some time to develop. That's why, like, if you're going to script it, it's go to Green Bay, sit behind Rodgers, go to New Orleans, sit behind Drew Brees.

Speaker 3 Like, those are good, you know, offensive coaches and they're going to have time to develop there.

Speaker 3 So that's why it makes some sense for him. But I have those other two guys.
I think Burrow's my second player. Tua is like my sixth player.
And then I have,

Speaker 3 I think Herbert's like 20 and Love's like 22. So that's like kind of the range of where those guys are.

Speaker 1 What would shock you for how low like Love could go?

Speaker 3 Could he get into the mid second round or is it he's going to be scooped up in the first round because everyone knows getting that extra year on a quarterback is very important as the lamar jackson thing shows yeah i think indy has two second round picks so phillips uh 38 years old i mean that to me would be awfully tempting for them to just trade right back into the bottom of the first round you get jordan love you don't have to play him uh but you've got tremendous upside so you know ballard coming from kansas city you know he saw the blueprint there of drafting a talented player and letting them sit and then and then off you go So that would be the team I would peg for him, and I don't think he would go beyond where they pick in the second round.

Speaker 1 Okay. So is there a chance that once, let's just say Tua, Burrow, Herbert go off the board pretty high.
Is there a chance that we see a run where teams start reaching on quarterbacks and they panic?

Speaker 1 Like we saw, I forget what draft was that.

Speaker 1 That was like the Jake Locker, Blaine Gabbert, maybe, Christian Ponder, where people just ponder and they throw out their big board altogether and they're like, we need a quarterback if we want to win.

Speaker 1 If those guys go off the board board early are we gonna see maybe a team in the teens or early 20s that reaches for love

Speaker 3 I don't think so just because I think those teams all have guys they can line up and play with

Speaker 3 it's not like they're in you know dire straits we don't have anybody

Speaker 3 they I think I froze there for a second but they they have you know the Raiders would be the team I would keep an eye on but I you know they got out went out and got Mariota they already have a car

Speaker 3 I don't really see that happening so I think we'll see three of these guys go, and then I think we're going to see love drop a little bit.

Speaker 1 Okay. The other thing that jumped out to me about your mock, and I've read a few different mock drafts here.

Speaker 1 Almost every single one that I'm looking at has zero running backs going in the first round.

Speaker 1 You don't think that there's going to be a general manager out there that looks at what the Titans did last year and they think to themselves, you know what, we can zig while everybody else zags, draft a really talented running back, and then just run them into the ground for four years and try to win that way with a strong running game and a good defense?

Speaker 1 Are you pretty confident that we're going to have to wait until at least the second round for, you know, whether it's Jonathan Taylor or Swift to come off the board?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think Swift's one of the 20 best players in the draft. So I think there's value there.
I think the whole conversation is whether you re-sign these guys, not whether you draft them.

Speaker 3 And if you can get five or six years of elite production, I think it's worth a first round pick personally.

Speaker 3 But just talking to people around the league, A bunch of people are saying, look, this is a pretty deep running back class, similar to the wide receiver conversation that we had.

Speaker 3 And that, you know, i like deandre swift a lot but i can wait and get somebody in the second or third round i'll get a cam acres from florida state and i can go get one of the premier positions in the first round so i think there's a good chance we don't see one but i do think that i think swift is absolutely worth a first round pick the team that i the team that i say don't sleep on and everybody kind of laughs about it is baltimore because they are they run the ball more than anybody I know what you have in Ingram.

Speaker 3 They've got some other good backs, but this kid is really good. And as much as they run it and what he can do, I would love to see him in Lamar Jackson for the next few years.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I think one of the big draft stories that also is going to happen on draft night is, will the Patriots try to get a quarterback to replace Tom Brady?

Speaker 1 I know they like Stidham right now, but do you see that happening at all where they try to trade up?

Speaker 1 I know that's very anti-what Bill Belichick has done, but have you heard any buzz about a guy they might like?

Speaker 3 No, I've heard they like Herbert, but I haven't heard any talk about them really being aggressive to trade up for him.

Speaker 3 And talking to buddies around the league, they've said Stiddum is well thought of in that building. I think he's more highly thought of in the building than maybe some people realize.

Speaker 3 They want to give him a chance. You've got Hoyer kind of as your insurance.
You know, if it doesn't go well with Stiddum, he gets you through the year and then you could address it next year.

Speaker 3 But I think they'll give Stiddam an opportunity this year. I don't think they're going to do it in the first round.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't be shocked if they took somebody like in the fifth round or something like that, just to bring somebody new into the building.

Speaker 3 But it doesn't seem like Belichick to trade a bunch of assets to go up and get somebody.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 If we're looking at next year's draft class a little bit ahead of schedule, and obviously Trevor Lawrence, that's a big name that's out there.

Speaker 1 How would Trevor Lawrence stack up right now if you were to put him up against Joe Burrow in the same draft?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, I haven't done a full workup on him, like the full study, but he's a freak, man. As big and athletic as he is, and he's kind of that like traditional quarterback.

Speaker 3 What you want with all that ability, plus all the athleticism that he brings with what teams you're wanting to do with this new school group.

Speaker 3 So I think he's got more upside, more potential than Joe does. You know, Joe is a little more polished at this time.
He's older.

Speaker 3 He's ready to go right now. But I think next year, hopefully we have a season, but next year we'll be talking about

Speaker 3 Lawrence is possibly one of the best we've seen the last handful of years. He's really talented.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that's what we were talking about. It's like there's a possibility that the Patriots go with Stidham, a combination of him and Hoyer.

Speaker 1 They end up playing really poorly this year, find themselves in a position where they could potentially move up to number one overall to draft Trevor Lawrence, and then we're fucked for the next 12 years of the Patriots being great again.

Speaker 1 So that's that's a scenario that we're trying to avoid.

Speaker 1 I've got a question about the draft value chart.

Speaker 1 Are teams still using the same points chart that Jimmy Johnson, you know, he created one summer in Key West when he had like seven daiquiries and he just sat down and wrote a bunch of numbers and how they corresponded?

Speaker 1 Is that still what everybody is looking at the Bible for?

Speaker 3 Yeah, so I got it right here, man.

Speaker 3 This is the same one, the Jimmy Johnson chart. So like I was talking with the GM the other day, and we were talking about a potential trade, you know, them moving back in the draft.

Speaker 3 And just everybody just kind of keeps this thing on your desk. Like, okay, you want to go from here to there? Okay, that's 700 points.
Okay, they need to give you their three.

Speaker 3 They need to give you this.

Speaker 3 So most teams still operate off that same, that same Q West chart. I didn't know the backstory there, though.

Speaker 1 I just made it up. But I mean, I like it.

Speaker 1 That's probably what happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in between Extends commercials, he just jotted down a bunch of numbers.

Speaker 1 It's so weird to me that people have just agreed that that's the accepted value. Do teams, Are there teams out there that come up with their own charts and assign their own value to draft picks?

Speaker 3 Well, there's premiums you have to pay, too.

Speaker 3 So it's like, I know what the chart says, but like, if I'm going to trade off an opportunity to get Chase Young, you've got to give me more than what the chart says you're supposed to give me.

Speaker 3 And that's where the Bengals, I'm sure they've been offered, you know, if the Dolphins really want to burrow, I'm sure they could offer them well above what the chart says.

Speaker 3 And I still don't think the Bengals would do it. But it is still kind of like the basic framework of the discussion.

Speaker 1 That's, you know, it's kind of weird, but that's just what they use so i got a question about the bears uh i so i think this actually kind of correlates to your career in when you were with the browns 2007 2008 phil savage is the gm he he knows that he's probably at the end of his road there which ends up being the the case uh you guys don't have a ton of draft capital what was the strategy going to that and how does that relate to i see the bears not having a first-round pick ryan pace knows this is an an important draft.

Speaker 1 Is there a sense of urgency where you then start ranking guys like, who can help me right this second versus who can be maybe a project that's a year or two out?

Speaker 3 Yeah, because, you know, in that year, they had traded, Phil had traded for Sean Rodgers and Corey Williams, like all, all these picks for players.

Speaker 3 That was the only draft I was there for was that one. We had picked till the fourth round.
And so you're like, okay, we need an inside linebacker

Speaker 3 to, you know, to start for us. So you're locked in on this group of players and you get kind of picked clean.

Speaker 3 You end up reaching for a player who I say we reached for him NFL-wise, phenomenal arena career for Bobell, but probably shouldn't have picked him in the fourth there in Cleveland.

Speaker 3 But that's what you do. You start getting real need conscious at that point in time, and I think you can make some mistakes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so do you think that the Bears, like just hearing around the league, do you think that Ryan Pace feels the pressure? Do you think that this is a draft that he needs to knock out of the park

Speaker 1 knowing that the Trubisky pick didn't go well? And if the Bears kind of falter here again, it could be heads starting to roll at Hallis Hall.

Speaker 3 He needs the quarterback position to produce this year.

Speaker 3 So whether that's Trubisky to justify that pick or whether that's Nick Foles to justify what you paid to get him, you have to have better production.

Speaker 3 Hopefully, you know, there's got to be an acceptable level of wins, but I think even if they weren't, you know, making a deep playoff run, if they solved the quarterback position with one of those two guys, I think it helps them, you know, going forward to make their case to stick around.

Speaker 3 If they don't win a bunch of games and they don't play better at the quarterback position, that's it. So they've got to get that figured out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you give us a player? Like, you know, back in the day, Mel Kuyper said that he would walk away. He would retire from his gig as draft analyst if Jimmy Clausen did not become a starter in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Can you give us a player that you will stake your entire reputation on?

Speaker 1 No, but

Speaker 3 I'll give you one that

Speaker 3 I would take a pay cut for.

Speaker 1 Can I do that? Yeah, we'll take that. Big time.
Well, the pay cut will go to us. You're not going to take less money.
You're just going to pay us if you get it wrong.

Speaker 3 That's fine. I just asked for a t-shirt.

Speaker 1 I'll go

Speaker 3 put my paycheck on.

Speaker 3 Let's go.

Speaker 3 You know, look, if it's really going to be my paycheck, I would say Chase you.

Speaker 3 But I can go, I can go outside the top group there and give you another guy who I think is going to be really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do that.

Speaker 3 Let me see here. You know what? I think

Speaker 3 I'll say the linebacker, Kenneth Murray from oklahoma he's just going to be a really really good player his like his wiring and and intelligence competitiveness all that stuff's like off the charts so when you get an athletic freak like that who's you know a leader and and really smart and instinctive all that stuff like he's just got too many things lined up for him for him not to be successful so i'm not going to specify how much of a cut we're talking about here but it's cool

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's enough.

Speaker 3 It'll put a new picture on the wall behind you. I think that's, I can promise you that.

Speaker 1 There we go. Okay.
Can you go rapid fire real quick on just each position? Just say strong or weak because we know the wide receivers are strong. So just go throughout the entire

Speaker 1 roster of strong or weak in this draft so that if people were looking for like a crib sheet of what to expect, they can go off of this.

Speaker 3 Cool.

Speaker 3 I'll go quarterback is I'll go strong.

Speaker 3 I feel like you've got the guys up there at the top. Running back, very strong.
Receiver, Receiver, extremely strong. Tight end, weak.
Tackle, strong. Interior offensive line, weak.

Speaker 3 Defensive tackle, strong. Edge rusher, weak.
Linebacker, I thought was weak, but is actually strong. Cornerback, strong.
Safety,

Speaker 3 strong-ish.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 So it's somewhere in the middle.

Speaker 1 That's actually very helpful because, I mean, I think the even like what. comes out I'm noting there is like the defensive edge rushers.

Speaker 1 Everyone's obviously looking for those guys, and this isn't going to be that draft.

Speaker 3 That's why you're going to see some of these guys get elevated. Like, I like Caleb Von Chason from LSU.
He's like my 25th player.

Speaker 3 He could be a top, you know, 15 pick because teams are just desperate to try and find some edge rush and it's going to push those guys up.

Speaker 1 Nice. What about Edward Zalaire from LSU? Just watching him as a fan for the last year,

Speaker 1 especially, I think, the Texas game, I saw some stuff out of him that I thought he would be a no-doubter first-round pick. I think he's going to be a great NFL running back.

Speaker 1 Is there any chance that he might be the first guy off the board at the running back position?

Speaker 3 I think there's a chance. He's my second running back.
I love him. And some people freaked out that he ran 4-6 flat.
I'm like, it's the exact same time that Josh Jacobs ran last year.

Speaker 3 And look what he did in the league. He jumped like 39 and a half inches.
So he's explosive. He just didn't, you know, he didn't run a fast 40.
But he catches the ball extremely well.

Speaker 3 He's the best pass catcher in the draft as a running back. To me, like if I was going to hand pick for a team, Tampa Bay in the second round to put that dude with Tom Brady,

Speaker 3 Tom Brady's always had that type of back, and now you get a chance to get this kid there. That would be the perfect spot for him.

Speaker 1 Here's a little spin zone you can use.

Speaker 1 When you want to elevate a running back that is maybe not that fast in the 40 time, you can say sometimes at the running back position, it's more about how quickly you can stop than how quickly you can run.

Speaker 1 And he's got great breaks on there. There you go.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 There you go. Yeah, no, absolutely.
And he's like 5'7. He's a little dude, but he's strong.
I don't remember a running back ever going into Tuscaloosa and doing what he did to Alabama's defense.

Speaker 3 Like, as great as Joe was in that game, Edwards-Alaire put on a show. Yep.

Speaker 1 How nervous are teams having to deal with like the practicality of doing this on Zoom, doing it remotely?

Speaker 1 Like, do you think the teams are going to have a good handle on this or are we going to get some hilarious fuck-ups on draft night?

Speaker 3 Look, I'm 42. So, like, all my buddies that I talk to at that level are all kind of similar age.
So, I don't think that the computer scares them quite as much.

Speaker 3 I think they're fine and I don't think what people realize on the first round like they're you know the concern is with the trades well on the first round before the draft you're you've called every team and said okay if I'm if I'm the Cowboys at 17 I've called every team that picks in front of me and we've had the conversation of hey if you wanted to trade out and we wanted to trade up what would that look like and you kind of lay the groundwork of what that compensation would be for every team now the likelihood that they want to move out and you want to move up that's not likely.

Speaker 3 But if that does happen, you don't pick up the phone and say, Okay, here's what we're going to offer you. We pick up the phone and say, Okay, do you want to do it?

Speaker 3 Like, we've kind of already talked about this stuff. Do you want to do it yes or no?

Speaker 3 So, that eliminates some of the time you need to get that processed.

Speaker 1 That makes sense.

Speaker 1 Outside of Tua, is there a player whose injury history is going to make things like a real crap shoot, make them a real risky pick, considering that teams can't go in and have their own doctors evaluate them?

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's a bunch of guys.

Speaker 3 You know, I hate, I don't want to say a bunch of them like a guy like uh you know terrell lewis from alabama his uh has had some injuries in his past he's he's really talented um but i think teams would have liked to have the opportunity to do a little bit more with him medically than they got a chance to so i don't think it's going to go on draft or anything like that but it can penalize you a little bit and cost you with some teams um some teams are

Speaker 3 conservative this year because they haven't got as much medical and other teams like man this is a great opportunity i hope these other teams fail these kids they're going to fall right to us and we're going to get them so uh teams looking at it both ways.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
My last question. It's the most important question we have.

Speaker 1 Does hand size matter?

Speaker 3 Ooh, I would say there's an acceptable level. And it's, I put it maybe a little bit lower.
I mean, it's right at nine. You know the words.
It's nine. You get to nine.
You're nine, you're golden.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're under nine. You're under nine.
It's, it's a concern. But,

Speaker 3 you know, I, it's, people laugh at that all the time, but it is what it is.

Speaker 1 You'd much rather have them have big hands but as long as they're nine i'm i'm good that's that's exactly what we say all the time it's it's crazy because like most things on on the internet the pendulum swings so far one way or the other where it's swung to the point where it's like people mock hand size but at the end of the day i would imagine you'd rather have a guy with 10 inch mitts than a guy with eight and three fourths or whatever it may be no no doubt i mean it's just what your preference would be especially when you're talking cold weather and fumbles and all that kind of stuff but you know if a guy has I've seen guys with, you know, nine-inch hands, they know, I've never had any fumbling issues.

Speaker 3 They can control the football. They throw a tight ball.
Like, if, you know, there's other guys you watch them, like, gosh, like, I watch him throw it. It looks like he's throwing a medicine ball.

Speaker 3 Like his hands look small. He's dropping the ball.
And then all of a sudden you get the hand measurement. It's eight and seven eighths.
And you're like, well, yeah, that's a legit problem.

Speaker 3 We could see it when we watched it on tape.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 Who are your top five long snappers? I know you've done a lot of research on that.

Speaker 3 You know what? I like to keep that close. We're trying to get big broadcast numbers.
It's a joint affair with NFL Network and ESPN this year.

Speaker 3 And for me to release my long snapper ratings to the draft, it's just, that's not in the best order there.

Speaker 1 You got to save. Yeah, you got to save.
Like, that's a tease. That's what we call the business.
So I'm looking forward to tuning into that. How's that going to work, by the way?

Speaker 1 I know you're not allowed to tip draft picks this year, but are you doing a joint broadcast? So you're on the same set as like Trey Wingo and all those guys?

Speaker 3 I'm here. I'm like right at home.
So

Speaker 3 Wingo is going to be in Connecticut, and then everybody else is on remotes. So we're all at home.

Speaker 1 So you think Wingo is going to kick it to other people, like ESPN people, instead of kicking it to you because you're at the rival?

Speaker 3 It's like an all-star game, like get iced out

Speaker 1 in the all-star game. Or he might just like wear you out in the first 20 minutes and go, we're going all Jeremiah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 What if Wingo only goes to me on special teams players?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That would be fucked up.

Speaker 1 Are you going to have like a Gatorade bottle underneath your table so that you can take a piss during it? Mel Kuyper doesn't piss during his.

Speaker 1 What is this? We got a bucket? You're going to piss in that?

Speaker 3 No, it's a water. It's an hygro flask for water.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but you should probably think about that. Because what if Wingo calls you and you're in the bathroom?

Speaker 3 That's a great point.

Speaker 3 I've got to think this thing through a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. All right, Daniel Jeremiah, thank you so much.
We'd love to have you on anytime. You're a recurring guest now, and we appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Russila's going to be pissed that we had you on because he's kind of your guy.

Speaker 1 But that's fine. We can we can deal with the fallout from that, but uh, we should have you on like immediately after the draft to give grades to every team before we ever get to see the players play.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite part.

Speaker 3 That that is so much fun, by the way.

Speaker 3 If you if I had video and you could have seen Mayok, who would flip his lid because we would just finish the draft and they'd go, All right, this is the last segment.

Speaker 3 We got to hand out some draft grades. And he literally would be like, Not happening.
I am not. He refused.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing it. I like it.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, I'm like first or second year, and I'm like, I'm just trying to keep my job. I got four kids.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know, B plus.

Speaker 1 Yes, perfect. All right.
Well, thank you so much, Daniel. We really appreciate it.
Everyone, go follow him on Twitter. He's going to be on NFL Network on Draft Night.
You can find him on NFL.com.

Speaker 1 We really appreciate it, man. Thanks, guys.
Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original Proper Number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, let's get some segments. And we have Billy's deep dive and a Mount Flushmore before that as well.

Speaker 1 First up, we have Take Quake. We actually have two Take Quakes.
So

Speaker 1 I saved the one I was going to do for who's back for the Take Quake season. PFT.
We'll start with yours and then we'll do mine. Take Quake Me.

Speaker 1 Okay, this comes from our good friend, longtime Stoole, Susan Selesser, in the San Francisco Chronicle.

Speaker 1 She wrote an article about spinning in baseball and how the coronavirus should lead baseball to outlaw spitting because it's an infectious disease nightmare.

Speaker 1 You got the pitcher licking his fingers, touching the ball, throwing it to the catcher, catcher taking the ball out, throwing it back, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 We all know that spitting is just as big a part of baseball as all the other big parts, like sacrifice bunts, steroids, you name it. It's ingrained in the DNA of baseball.

Speaker 1 I just want to say, I respect the fact that somebody is using this crisis to try to get spitting out of baseball, but spitting needs to stay.

Speaker 1 It's the only place in America where a guy can just go outside and spit non-stop for like 30 minutes at a time and nobody says shit to him.

Speaker 1 30 minutes, like four hours.

Speaker 1 And it's not even like the game of baseball.

Speaker 1 Get 50 guys, put them in the middle of a field and have them stand around. They're all going to start spitting.
That's what you do in the middle of a field. Like, there's nothing to do but spit.

Speaker 1 In fact, isn't it better to be spitting all your germs out?

Speaker 1 If we're looking at this from an infectious disease point of view, I think it's better to be, it's like if you have a handgun and you're constantly firing off rounds into the ground, you're way less likely to accidentally shoot somebody, right?

Speaker 1 So that we should actually be encouraging more spitting in baseball and other sports.

Speaker 1 Also, if you're in San Francisco, I think that you need to take care of your own house before you start looking elsewhere because you've got a guy just down the street in Steph Curry that's got a walking Petri dish in his mouthpiece that he's throwing all over God's good creation when he's on the the court.

Speaker 1 So maybe you talk to him before you bring it into America's pastime. And if the algorithm is spinning, the players and the managers and stuff are going to realize how boring the actual game is.

Speaker 1 They have nothing to focus on on the bench.

Speaker 1 That's one of my favorite things to do, is to be watching a live baseball broadcast and to bet on how long it's going to take at the most in between times that you see a guy spinning.

Speaker 1 Usually it's only like three and a half seconds.

Speaker 1 It's crazy that they would ever think that, whatever, this woman is wrong, even though she's been a longtime listener. All right, my take quick that I have, it might one-up this one because we had

Speaker 1 Jim Harbaugh had his comments

Speaker 1 where he was talking about like the coronavirus and everything that's going on. And he talked about how

Speaker 1 we talk about this: his quote: We talk about sanctity of life, yet we live in a society that aborts babies. There can't be anything more horrendous.

Speaker 1 He took a little turn there at the end of his coronavirus statement, but here from Steve King in Iowa, who's, I think, a politician, right? I believe so? Yeah, loosely. He said,

Speaker 1 Yeah, loosely. He said, Jim Harbaugh

Speaker 1 beats Ohio State every time when the score is on the values imparted to those he leads. All right.
There we go. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 You think that's good, that we're doing scoreboards on the values

Speaker 1 and not actually on the football field. But then he went on to say, maybe not a national championship, but a culture that champions the value of life.

Speaker 1 I love that. Jim Harbaugh has gotten his dick kicked in by Ohio State year in and year out.
But if we're only judging on the values imparted to those he leads, he has dominated this rivalry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's very consistent in the fact that he doesn't like to have high seeds eliminated, whether that be inside a wound or on a football field. So good for Jim.

Speaker 1 Michigan fans, knowing Michigan fans, they're definitely going to count this as a national championship. Hang the banner.

Speaker 1 They're going to be like, well, here we go.

Speaker 1 It's just the same as when we beat the Detroit YMCA in 1904. Well, yeah, I mean, Urban Meyer and Ohio State is the Detroit YMCA of morals and

Speaker 1 putting together a program that you can set your clock to and value. You had some harsh words about you, Ohio State, yesterday.
Well, Ohio State offered me the offensive coordinator job.

Speaker 1 I'm not about to go coach for Urban Meyer and then let him throw me under the bus every time we lose and leak all my text messages and basically make me the scapegoat for everything that he wants to do that's morally corrupted his university.

Speaker 1 Other than that, fine guy.

Speaker 1 I actually have been thinking about Urban Meyer and I think that's very odd. Well, yeah, it's truly odd.

Speaker 1 I think he is the shadow football coach at Ohio State University, excuse me, the Ohio State University right now. I don't think he ever really left.

Speaker 1 I think that he's still got like a back entrance to the place and he's still calling most of the shots. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't believe that this is Ryan Day that's totally taken over and had the exact same amount of success that Urban has had.

Speaker 1 I think that Urban just refused to walk out that door permanently, but he's like, you know what? I'm going to say it. I'm doing it for my family.
I'm going to go on TV.

Speaker 1 I'm going to plant little negative stories about our opponents and just like do a little bit of undermining across the board in the NCAA.

Speaker 1 And then, in the meantime, I've still got the back phone that I'll pick up and I'll help you guys when it comes to the install meeting.

Speaker 1 They did show him them right before that interception that ended the Clemson, Ohio State

Speaker 1 National Semifinal game. It's crazy to just think back about sports.
I was like, wait, when was that game? What was that game? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. You're looking forward to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I'm looking forward to right now? I'm looking forward.
I just get excited when I get to smell a different room.

Speaker 1 A room that's slightly off from the room that I've been sitting in. I mean, last dance, we're recording this before the last dance, but that's the only thing.

Speaker 1 Like, I woke up today very excited for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's pretty much for me, it's that and game days for Doug's game days for Doug's do feel different in my household, so but that's pretty much it.

Speaker 1 It is 4:20 today, it doesn't even feel like 4:20. Yeah, oh, yeah, true.
See, look,

Speaker 1 dad, happy birthday. It's the day before 4:20.
Oh, nice, you gotta call

Speaker 1 all right. Let's do our Mount Flushmore.
Ready? Yeah, all right, we'll do a Mount Flushmore toppings. Hank, you are starting because it is Monday.
Are you ready to go? I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 Although I will say you kind of pulled a Hezzy Hay on. No, you just took a shower.
Like, that wasn't a Hezzy Hay.

Speaker 1 Big Cat is agreed that the Hezzy Hay was only put into place because it would be a better Mount Flushmore to do in person because it gets a little complicated. Which we'll do on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 And then you got out of the shower and you're like, oh my God, I just wrote down my whole Mount Flushmore. Oh, I didn't write anything down.
I was in the shower. I know that was the joke.

Speaker 1 I mentally wrote it down.

Speaker 1 Antovies.

Speaker 1 Okay, good pick. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
In honor of anchovies, I'm going to find that Revelle tool.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, go ahead,

Speaker 1 PFT. What were you going to say about anchovies?

Speaker 1 It might be controversial, but I think that anchovies are not that bad. That's a try-hard move by you.
That's not caused by the movement.

Speaker 1 It's not a try-hard move. Here's why it's not.
Anchovies only get a bad rap because of cartoons, where they like you were told from a young age,

Speaker 1 I'm the Ninja Turtles. You put anchovies on my saw, bro.
Splinter, not cool. That's actually not at all.
What anchovies are delicious, delicious. No, they aren't.
That's see, that's the try-hard move.

Speaker 1 Oh, they no, they just taste like salt. Anchovies are gross, dude.
Are you just are you master of splinter? Like, what's good? You don't like the ninja turtles?

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying the ninja turtles would use this propaganda to try to get

Speaker 1 cool crimes. And number two, not eat anchovies.
No, I think it's more about the thing that they're gross than the ninja turtles.

Speaker 1 Do you like Caesar salad?

Speaker 1 Not with anchovies? Caesar dressing has anchovies in it. Okay, that's

Speaker 1 different. No, I don't want little fish

Speaker 1 on my fucking pizza, dude. It has nothing to do with teenage ninja turtles.
This is a try-hard. Anchovies are the worst in spongy.

Speaker 1 Great pick.

Speaker 1 It's not a try-hardy. Not a try-hard move.

Speaker 1 I'll give you this. Anchovies when they have...
the heads and the eyes on yeah that's not cool but if it's just like the meat yeah it's

Speaker 1 great it's good I'm telling you. What do you order with anchovies? What do you go to order with anchovies?

Speaker 1 Whatever he's about to say is going to be a try-hard move. No, it's not a try-hard move at all.
Go ahead, say it. This is the first time I've ordered it.
You go to a pizza, you go to a pizza,

Speaker 1 you go to a pizza place, and you get anchovies on your pizza. I do it probably one out of every 15 times I order pizza.

Speaker 1 So it's not like an everytime thing because I'm not trying to show off or be a tryhard and be like, look what I like. But it's nice to have is a change of pace every now and again.

Speaker 1 If I see anchovies like mixed into a pasta, uh, sometimes I'll order that, but it's not like I go out of my way to tell everybody, oh, I love anchovies. I am just a believer that

Speaker 1 there's been a tremendous propaganda effort against anchovies and sardines for most of my adult life, and I just want to speak out in favor of them.

Speaker 1 Correct, I want to use my platform, noted, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, very much noted. Um, all right, I can't find this

Speaker 1 tweet,

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 he might have deleted it because he's

Speaker 1 it was essentially like a little life hack for everyone who's going to be a freshman this year. When you order pizza to your dorm room, get anchovies on it so no one will take a bite.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, that's a really good way to also not have any friends.

Speaker 1 And I want to say, I would never do anything like that. That's not the type of anchovy order.
I'll do it like on my own every once in a blue moon.

Speaker 1 I would never like request anchovies on a pizza in a group order.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, your first pick. My first pick, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 raw onion.

Speaker 1 Just raw onion on like a burger.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter if it's red or if it's white onion.

Speaker 1 It can overpower the entire rest of the dish. Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.
You need to. It's also like a lazy.
That's usually like a sign of a shitty sports bar burger, like lazy.

Speaker 1 Just throw it on top. You like a thick-ass one? It's also just like how much better are caramelized onions than raw onions.
It's significant. It's infinity.

Speaker 1 So it's like, do a little bit of work here and make them infinity veterans. Yeah, even grilled veterans.

Speaker 1 All right. My first two, I get two.

Speaker 1 I don't, I've never met anyone who likes this, and I hope no one likes it, but artichokes are disgusting. I don't know what the fucking artichoke is.
Yeah, but I have that artichoke. Uh-oh, PFT.

Speaker 1 What cartoon of our childhood changed our mind to think artichokes were. You're not going to budge me off my anchovies take.
And my anchovies take is not that wild.

Speaker 1 But you gave me a little side-eye with artichokes no i was just thinking to myself like spinach artichoke dip is good but that's not artichoke artichokes on a pizza is disgusting yeah that's i wasn't gonna touch that i agree with that one yeah yeah as soon as soon as you start doing dips because like also dips every dip when you're like oh yeah the spinach artichoke dip is good it's like probably a shitload of butter or cheese or something in it that makes it good that's the good part um all right shout out to uh shout out to scottsdale community college though they have they're the artichokes and i have one of their shirts and i love it uh hank uh you were going to say something negative about or positive about artichokes, weren't you?

Speaker 1 No, that's what I was going to say.

Speaker 1 I have that Scottsdale Community College artichoke shirt, and it's lasted me like four years. I can't get rid of it.
Choke me, Daddy.

Speaker 1 Have you guys ever done this? My second pick? Artie the Artichoke. Shrimp on pizza is disgusting.
Disgusting. Oh, but it's good as a cocktail.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Okay, interesting.

Speaker 1 I've definitely tried it being like, ooh, this could be interesting. And then you're like, wait, that was a bad idea.
Hank, you don't understand.

Speaker 1 When it's in a cocktail, there's tomato sauce that goes with it. Totally unlike in a pizza.
You like shrimp on your pizza? No. Okay.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. Shrimp cocktail is great, though.
Shrimp cocktail is delicious.

Speaker 1 Delicious.

Speaker 1 You need.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, wait. That proves my entire point.
They don't need the sauce. That approves my entire point.
No.

Speaker 1 Shrimp cocktail without the sauce would be disgusting because without it, it would just be a topping. No,

Speaker 1 it's the texture of shrimp on pizza is very disgusting. It's like the cheese and the shrimp together just don't work.
It's cheese and shrimp. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have cheese and shrimp.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, is this pizza toppings or is this toppings? Toppings, but it's pizza topping for this one. You're being very specific with your okay.
Well, I'm saying a pizza topping.

Speaker 1 He's saying shrimp on pizza as the

Speaker 1 what do you want? Shrimp on what?

Speaker 1 Who's that dog?

Speaker 1 I've never heard a dog on this floor. Did you kidnap a dog?

Speaker 1 All right, this is very very contentious. PFT, your second pick.

Speaker 1 My second pick, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 alfalfa sprouts. Sprouts in general on a sandwich.
It's like you're flossing with pubes, jelly green giant.

Speaker 1 Really, really disgusting stuff. Gross.
I agree. Good pick.
Thank you. Hank.

Speaker 1 I will go with jalapenos jalapenos.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll give that to you because you have the palate of an infant infant when it comes to spice. So if it's too spicy, I understand.

Speaker 1 If I ever get something and I fucking have a bite of a jalapeno that I didn't expect, I get so mad every time without fail. If you like hot sauce or whatever the fuck you freaks like,

Speaker 1 get it on your own. It shouldn't just be like thrown onto nachos.
Like if you ever had a nacho and you're not expecting a jalapeno and then you got jalapeno bombed, terrible.

Speaker 1 Terrible experience. What about the different hot sauces of Taco Bell? What's the highest that you'll go in those?

Speaker 1 Zero.

Speaker 1 They're all great.

Speaker 1 they're all great sauces don't get me wrong mild medium and hot fire sauce everyone everyone loves a fire sauce not me food is good enough where you don't need sauce there you go all right your second your third pick hank uh fried egg what

Speaker 1 on on pizza wait on what

Speaker 1 on pizza on a burger oh the burger is the wrong choice fried egg on a burger is awesome nope incorrect

Speaker 1 no you're incorrect no you're incorrect no you're incorrect i do think that the fried egg on the burger has gotten overused recently, where they just start putting it on stuff, but it's still really good on like a hangover burger where you have the yolk a little bit runny

Speaker 1 bite into it. Makes you feel like it's breakfast, lunch, and dinner all at once.

Speaker 1 Delicious. All right, PFT Years.
Third pick.

Speaker 1 My third pick, I'm going to go with...

Speaker 1 We've got to stop doing food once. Mushrooms.
Mushrooms. Mushrooms.

Speaker 1 Not a fan of mushrooms as a topping. I'm okay with mushrooms.
It's kind of a give or take. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whatever. They're like a whatever thing.

Speaker 1 They're one of the only toppings that I'll eat around on a pizza.

Speaker 1 All right. My third pick, I think Hank's going to hate this one.
Actually, I have two that Hank might hate. Gummy bears on ice cream.
Disgusting. They get so hard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And when you go to like frozen yogurt bars,

Speaker 1 what are you doing, Hank? Hank. Hank's mad.
And it was be mad.

Speaker 1 Do you like the gummy bears on ice cream? Of course I like gummy bears on ice cream. What do you mean? They get so hard.

Speaker 1 The consistency of a gummy bear is completely ruined when it's put on ice cream and the flavors never match up.

Speaker 1 No, but then you get to have the ice cream and then the ice cream melts away and then you get the nice savory taste of a gummy bear. No,

Speaker 1 it's not savory. Yeah, it's not what savory is.
But you do get the taste of the gummy bear. Also, if it's a rock hard gummy bear, it makes you work for it a little bit longer.

Speaker 1 It's like you have to chew it. You loosen it up a little bit.
You get a jaw worked out in.

Speaker 1 I don't mind it at all. I hate it.
You just said you didn't like it. A gummy bear on frozen yogurt? Yeah.
No, I said I do like it. You like it?

Speaker 1 Okay. Every time I order frozen yogurt, I see gummy bears on the bottom.
No, I have one that you're really going to hate.

Speaker 1 And I've tried it many times, and I just can't get into it.

Speaker 1 Animal style sauce on fries.

Speaker 1 In and out. I don't hate that one that I don't.
I don't get animal style.

Speaker 1 I think it's wildly overrated. I really do.
I think the animal sauce on the burger, okay. Like that adds something.
The animal sauce on fries, I think it just becomes disgusting.

Speaker 1 And you're like, what are we doing? We're eating like a bunch of soggy fries. And then the bottom is like untouched ones.
Too much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like people don't eat the full, like people order that as like a high. Like they show up high.
Like, oh, like, let me get animal style. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you have like three bites, and you never finish it. It's a cool hipster thing to do that everyone's like, you got to get animal style on fries.
And then you get it.

Speaker 1 You're like, wait, who decided that this was a good idea? Callie Teens did. And then every regular person gets it and they're like, this is a bad idea.

Speaker 1 If you're throwing a pickup on the gram and you have like the burger with the animal fries next to it, like that, that looks dope.

Speaker 1 If you don't have the, if you have plain fries, everyone will comment, dude, you gotta get animal style. It's like, dude, I want to actually enjoy my fries after the first bite.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, that's my fourth pick. Uh, my last one, I'm gonna go with homemade ketchup or housemade ketchup.

Speaker 1 If you're at a restaurant and they have like a burger or fries or something like that, and you ask for ketchup and they make it themselves, I just can't stop thinking.

Speaker 1 No, all I ever want is Heinz. Heinz will never be topped in terms of how they've created the perfect ketchup recipe.
It's sweet. I know it's got all this processed shit in there and preservatives.

Speaker 1 They're probably going to make me die 25 years earlier, but guess what? I would rather die on my feet than

Speaker 1 die also on my knees eating inferior ketchup. I think that can be good sometimes.
If you go to a really nice place,

Speaker 1 they can do some bomb ketchup.

Speaker 1 It's such a crapshoot.

Speaker 1 I have never had ketchup where I think to myself, this is better than heist.

Speaker 1 Hank, your last pick. I mean, I wasn't going to say this, but PFT just kind of reminded me, and I might as well just get it out there since people seem to be very upset with my food taste in general.

Speaker 1 But just ketchup, period.

Speaker 1 You just cocked PFT.

Speaker 1 Ketchup is disgusting. Anyone, like, it's a mask.
It's the same as buffalo sauce. If you need to have ketchup, like people that...

Speaker 1 eat ketchup get addicted to it and they're like i need to have pizza but i need to have ketchup there

Speaker 1 but i need to have a ketchup i need to have like chips but I need to have ketchup. It's just, it's a mask.
Or you can just

Speaker 1 become a ketchup addict. People are weird about it.

Speaker 1 I only use ketchup for french fries. That's it.
The ketchup, it's the ketchup pizza people that scare me. It's like, you don't, you don't need ketchup for this.
I've never seen ketchup on pizza.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 they dip it. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. People dip it.

Speaker 1 Midwestern bias against ketchup because of the whole hot dog thing. And I actually think hot dogs can be good with a little bit of ketchup on it.
I'm not ashamed to admit.

Speaker 1 It just overpowers the taste. That's my thing with ketchup.
And that's, I mean, I do like it on french fries because I don't know. I just like it on French fries, but I think it overpowers.

Speaker 1 I won't say that, like, if you put a little ketchup on a hot dog, it doesn't, it won't totally ruin the hot dog, but I think it's you can have a better hot dog without ketchup.

Speaker 1 Plain hot dog, chaser bun, you're good to go. There you go.
Chaser bun, baby. All right.
Any miss the, what do you guys think about olives? I hate olives on pizza.

Speaker 1 I used to hate olives, but in the last five years, I don't know. I just like them now.
It's weird.

Speaker 1 And then bacos,

Speaker 1 the fake

Speaker 1 baco, they're like soy, but they're bacon flavored. Those things are disgusting.
They should be good because you're like, oh my God, it's just bacon in a can, but it's not bacon.

Speaker 1 I had bread and butter pickles.

Speaker 1 You always get disappointed when you bite into those and it's not the kosher dill. So you're saying pickles are trash.

Speaker 1 No, bread and butter pickles are not good. All other types of pickles are awesome.
I'm a pickle fanatic.

Speaker 1 Veggie mite. Veggie mite is just garbage.

Speaker 1 I know a lot of Australian people out there will disagree with that, but I mean, you know that it's trash too. You just have convinced, it's like the skyline chili of Australia.

Speaker 1 The other one that I was considering, but it's not really a topping is

Speaker 1 just cold butter on bread. That's not really a topping because it's butter, but that just drives me.

Speaker 1 I am, that's probably my, my, like, if someone has cold butter at their wedding or like some kind of banquet, I immediately just hate them forever. Forever.

Speaker 1 It stays in that ball in the middle of your bread, and then you try to spread it and you end up just like decimating your entire slice of bread yeah off terrible what are the spicy flakes that people put on pizza i don't like those either red chili i mean red red pepper flakes yeah they're delicious you just don't like spice of any kind

Speaker 1 we should take we should actually our next bet should be like we take hank to a thai restaurant and be like the full spice and just watch him die

Speaker 1 the five peppers i actually think he would go to the hospital like i think he would make us call him an ambulance

Speaker 1 i mean mean,

Speaker 1 I've watched some hot ones a lot during quarantine. Shout out to Sean Evans, but I don't think I would make it to one wing.
Like, I don't, like, I like

Speaker 1 Kat, big cat.

Speaker 1 Hank, you should, you should actually really want to do this to yourself because we can feed you all the spicy food at a Thai restaurant, and then memes that would come out of the face of the city.

Speaker 1 You would cry everywhere. Like,

Speaker 1 I mean, if you've seen on hot ones when Shaq was eating a wing, like, it's an instant meme. Paul Rudd, not really a wing-related, but that was a meme.
Look at us.

Speaker 1 yeah look at us i'm i'm all set with that i think i'd lose my taste buds forever um all right let's uh that was good mount flush more contentious uh let's get to the last thing in the show we got a deep dive with billy football i'm not going back to college to be your friend i'm going so i can get uber one for students it saves you on uber and uber eats i'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers up to 10 off smoothies and six percent uber credits back on rides just to be clear i'm there for savings not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 4 Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats.
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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our Monday deep dive during quarantine. It is Billy Football.
Billy, we're going to talk about dinosaurs, but let's first talk about Billy's bunker.

Speaker 1 Billy's berserker bunker. It's looking pretty sick, dude.
Dude,

Speaker 1 this place is awesome. We got frogs.
We got kittens. We got a puppy coming.
We got a PS4. We got all my jerseys on the wall.
Do you have any animals that get along together?

Speaker 1 I got a puppy coming, but I'm going to put it with the kittens. They'll get along.

Speaker 1 What games do you play on PS4? Okay, so like, this is like the first time I've had like a game console since like GameCube, because like I kind of was like... Playing sports? Sports, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I suck at all competitive games, but I love games like Skyrim. We're like, can I like, how much free time do we have on the Twitch? Can Can I just like do Skyrim for hours in the meantimes?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll have to set some protocols for you to go live on Twitch, but yes, you absolutely can. That would be sick.
Oh, UFC 3, me and Dale have legit just been like playing that for hours.

Speaker 1 That is something we would watch. I would watch you and Dale fight UFC 3 all the time.
It's actually sick. We're pretty good at that.
That game I'm pretty good at, so it's going to be lit.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'm looking at your wallet jerseys right now. It looks very impressive.
You've got Jeter, Bird,

Speaker 1 danny woodhead and just when i thought it couldn't get any better you've got a swag kelly is that an old miss jersey yeah old miss five kelly also got um mayfield baker mayfield and then yourself i got yeah i got my high school jersey i got gronk and then um i got the notorious mcgregor yep okay and then how what's up with the frogs okay so um You know the frogs you guys used to have?

Speaker 1 Skip and Stephen A, yeah. This might actually, we might cancel dinosaurs for, let's do dinosaurs next week.
Let's do Billy's berserker bunker right now. Let's just do it.
Okay, perfect.

Speaker 1 All right, I got these African clod frogs. So, you guys had dwarf frogs?

Speaker 1 These are fucking huge, bro. Let me see.
Wait, African clod frogs. Is that what you said? Females, yeah, y'all.
Feed them on camera right now. The females are bigger than the males.

Speaker 1 This is Bertha, and this is Ebony. We had an Ivory, too, but Ivory died.
She was a giant albino. She's really old.
I got two Oscars. We got a fire Oscar and a

Speaker 1 albino Oscar. And then we got a Pleco,

Speaker 1 Ember and

Speaker 1 Cole. And then we got a Pleco named Obama.
For those that are listening on the podcast and not watching,

Speaker 1 those are in storage like closed containers. Well, glass is expensive.
Hey, hey. Glass is expensive.
Glass is expensive, but this does the exact same job. Like, this is like...
Is that a gas mask?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I got all my masks.
So we got a gas mask. Oh, go to Barstool Gold to see this live.
Oh, yeah, you did a bunker. All right, so so you

Speaker 1 don't have barstool gold anymore. Goodbye, yeah, no, that was a great plug.
All right, so so walk us through what else you got here. So, you basically said this might last a long time.

Speaker 1 I'm building my own bunker in my mom's house, and it's gonna be sick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's like I was basically like, if my mother and I have to quarantine and just like social distance everybody, and only Dale's allowed over, so Dale has to enter through this door,

Speaker 1 And it's the back door. So the only person who's allowed in here is Dale.
And yo, and check out

Speaker 1 my puppy pit, but right now I got four kittens. Wait, how often does Dale come over? Well, he comes over like

Speaker 1 when he can, like when we're not doing school. When we're not

Speaker 1 got it, you still do school? Yeah, dude, school online sucks. It's all, I mean, like, legit for education, no one's actually learning anything.
Everyone's just cheating on online school.

Speaker 1 Not you, though.

Speaker 1 You should call it, it, you should refer to Dale as long as quarantine lasts, just as Dale.

Speaker 1 What, wait, wait, go back to the kittens. Let's see the kittens.
So, you just, you just found four kittens and saved that? So, I was cleaning up my dad's barn, and um, I was running in,

Speaker 1 and uh, my dad hates cats. So, I was like, I found the kit, I saw a kitten run under a wood pile, so then I went back and I was like, yo, dad, you got kittens in the front barn.

Speaker 1 He was like, kittens, I hate cats, get them out of here. So, okay, grabbed all the kittens, and now I have a kitten pit.
Let's see. Okay,

Speaker 1 they're all sleeping right now. When I feed them later, you only get one out.
No, no, no, don't let them sleep. Seriously, bad.
This is seriously bad radio because they can't see any of this.

Speaker 1 No, that's okay. People will describe it.
So, have you named the kittens? Yeah, one. Oh, yeah, of course.
Joe Exotic, Carol Baskins, Doc Ankle, and Jeff Lowe.

Speaker 1 That will

Speaker 1 be, you know, you know, cats live for like 15 years. Oh, no, I already adopted them out.
I just got to care them. Yeah.
Oh, so you're fostering them right now. I'm fostering, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I got, I took them to the vet. They didn't have fleas and they're pretty healthy, but they might have AIDS.
We got to check in two weeks. What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, feline AIDS.

Speaker 1 And you think they have them? Well, we don't know. You can't test until they're eight weeks old.
So don't let them have sex with each other and don't have sex with them

Speaker 1 until you find out. That's fucked.

Speaker 1 Okay. What else we got? Do you have a squat rack or anything? It seems like you're not even getting gains down there, dude.
I have my weights, I have an inversion table to keep the spinal

Speaker 1 discs. Dude, get on the inversion table while you're doing this.

Speaker 1 Do you want me to do this upside down? Yeah, yeah, do it upside down. You should sleep upside down.
Let me position it. Let me position it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, you got to talk loud if you're going to be away from the computer.

Speaker 1 I do have the standing knife. I'm recording.

Speaker 1 Hi, Mrs. Football.

Speaker 1 How are you doing?

Speaker 1 Mom, I'm playing with my friends right now. My berserker basement.
I told you not to come down here.

Speaker 1 Mom, I was telling about my berserker cats.

Speaker 1 Mom, I said it four o'clock in the morning. Don't come down until I come up.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 are you getting gains down there? I think that's the most important question. I'm doing a lot of body weight stuff.

Speaker 1 That's a no.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to basically I'm flirting with my NCA eligibility, looking for a squat rack on Craigslist and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 So wait, are you saying that like if you if somebody gives you a squat rack, that could be an impermissible impermissible benefit? I'm just saying if someone wants to send a squat rack to someone

Speaker 1 who may be getting a lot of packages right now and then it gets redirected to a random location

Speaker 1 it wouldn't be

Speaker 1 the worst thing. Our boy's smart.

Speaker 1 So, also, if there's any custom aquarium makers who want to do some glass work, well, I bet you Dave also has that taken care of because he's gotten about a thousand animals. I'm sure.
I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Actually, you should send them all to me.

Speaker 1 No, seriously, I can, if like, I could sell all the chicks to like a, like a, like a live, like, because you know, like, he's talking about chickens, by the way, for people who just don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 You should just surprise one of Dave's unboxings and just show up and just start taking stuff all the animals like give me all the chickens yeah all right so billy last question are do you sleep in this basement no i'm not allowed to sleep in the basement oh that's too bad i have to come up it would be sick like uh do you have a curfew that you have to come up by

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 Like basically, I just have to make sure, you know, everything's locked up and I got to go to bed recently. I like been going to bed early.
There's nothing really. Sometimes I'm up late.

Speaker 1 What if you got like a sick bean bag down there or something? Could you sleep down there then? We're getting a sicker couch. This is more of just a bench with like cloth on it.

Speaker 3 But my

Speaker 1 couch, my couch that's in storage.

Speaker 1 We're going to the storage place to pick it up from college and bring it back. It's going to be sick.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking you either got to go bean bag or water bed down there. Yeah.
Ooh, water bed. Do they make those anymore? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Financing the pretty cool. So you're basically set for the quarantine, for nuclear holocaust, for everything.
We have like a ton of non-perishables down here. So, like,

Speaker 1 I also have been stockpiling weapons. Okay.
So, I got an axe. I got another axe.
I have a sledgehammer.

Speaker 1 I got two axes, a sledgehammer,

Speaker 1 a BB gun, semi-automatic BB gun. So, like, I'm not shooting to kill.
I'm shooting to like stopping power. Yep.
Yep. That's cool.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And then do you think that if the world fell apart, do you think maybe there's not enough feminine touch in your basement for your mom to also live in there like that would kind of suck for her no i mean she she she

Speaker 1 this there's too much feminine touch in the house this is my spot got it billy's man cave this is my safe space my sucker zone billy if all goes to shit in new york city can we enter your apocalypse bunker do we is there like a card that we have to have or a password to get in so i have one of those slits

Speaker 1 This is Dale. You knock on the door and say, hey, it's Dale.
Let's wrestle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm installing one of my mom. I got to get a power saw but i'm gonna install one of those things that go like this and it's just your eyes oh i like that oh nice nice nice a glory hole

Speaker 1 the the slit right yeah we can do it we can we can do a little glory hole yeah maybe there's a slip for your eyes and then if you can notice their eyes then you then you open the slit for their crotch what's the what's the toilet protocol down there um so i'm trying to build i have like a semi

Speaker 1 i have to build a toilet sink that i put in there's got to be a hole like a sewage hole. Yeah, yeah, that's what we're kind of doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Good job, bank.

Speaker 1 It's the drainage. That's every.

Speaker 1 I've been in that basement a hundred times. It's a sub pump.
Yeah. Yeah, it's for the sub pump.
So

Speaker 1 I'm also doing a ton of DIY stuff. Like I'm assembling like the puppy pit, and then I'm getting like your couch.
Like couch assembling. All the jerseys.

Speaker 1 This thing was empty and now it's just filled with all my cool stuff. Oh, Billy, you know what we got to do?

Speaker 1 We got to get you on Pinterest and have all your DIY projects like uploaded there so that people can check it out. They're trying to decorate their apocalypse bunker.

Speaker 1 Dude, I might build a huge frog tank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The whole thing could be a frog tank. Just fill the whole basement with water.
It should be like Tube City for frogs.

Speaker 1 Oh, but if you have, if you have your old key to the office, you should really just go on an incognito mode mission and just store up for the for the basement.

Speaker 1 Hank, I do still have your credit card in my Amazon.

Speaker 1 I haven't done anything with it. I haven't done anything with it.
So that's like trust tree. You can check it.
I haven't ordered anything with it. That's good.
But

Speaker 1 hypothetically. He needs some stuff.
Got it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Billy, this has been fantastic.
This is my favorite deep dive to date. Can you just tell me my top four dinosaurs or something? Yeah, give me your top four dinosaurs.

Speaker 1 T-Rex is an absolute fraud. We got Gigantosaurus.
That's like the alpha of all the dinosaurs. It's just basically T-Rex with functional arms, but like four times as big.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's like a dragon compared to Wyvern.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Waverns are like

Speaker 1 the Frost Dragon's the sickest dragon. Check out this book, Dragonology by Dr.
Ernest Drake. It was one of the most eye-effective books I read as a child.

Speaker 1 It's all true, and it gives all the dragons and all about them. It's totally sick.
And then there was another version, Monsterology, which was another sick one. Anyway, they're true.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, so Gigantosaurus is sick. And then velociraptors are absolute frauds fraud

Speaker 1 Utah raptors are what was like based off of the raptors in Jurassic Park Utah raptors are like bigger velociraptors were like the size of a chicken like I could punt one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like absolute like and they probably just like raided nests and ate eggs. So like they're total like betas.
What else?

Speaker 1 That's two. Okay, so Allosaurus is my favorite dinosaur.
That's three. Allosaurus is sick as hell.
Yeah, Allosaurus was like, because they, T-Rex wasn't really a pack hunter.

Speaker 1 Allosaurus were like, like a giant

Speaker 1 tyrannosaur that

Speaker 1 was like, like hunted in packs. They took down like, like, there's like insane fossils they found of like

Speaker 1 six allosauruses, like the size of like little smaller than T-Rexes, just taking down these huge Diplodocuses. It's actually sick.

Speaker 1 The way I always saw it was like a Tyrannosaurus was way bigger than Allosaurus, but it was like a superstar that that like was a diva and went out on its own it's like in the uh the super bowl where the rams got introduced one by one and then the patriots all came out at the same time on defense that was the allosaurus yeah exactly exactly and then four four is a guanodon because he's the og okay nice we're gonna have bubba make sure when you do the graphic for mount rushmore have it be mount rush mount flushmore of of toppings and then a fourth column that just says mount rushmore of billy's dinosaurs billy's favorite dinos we'll just add that.

Speaker 1 Can you guys tell me your favorite dinosaurs?

Speaker 1 I'll have to do it next week. I'll have to do some research.
I like to triceratops. Yeah, let's do it next week.
We'll do it. We'll tell you.

Speaker 1 T-Rex never met a stegosaurus. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we learned that last week. Fact.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy. Thank you.
Everyone, tweet Billy, what we should do next week. He's in the berserker bunker, so he's got nothing but time.
Yo, and yeah.

Speaker 1 Really quick, Twitter at BillyHotTakes, Berserker Blood Cult on Instagram. And I just started a TikTok, and I'm not going to be a douchebag on it.
I'm not taking my shirt off. I'm not dancing.

Speaker 1 It's just me. You're not going to get any likes then, Billy.
You're not going to get any likes, buddy. Wait, we should.
Billy Hot Takes. Do we have a Pardon My Take TikTok? We do.

Speaker 1 We should just make Billy just be a wiggle dicker, as Dave called.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
Yeah, you are.

Speaker 1 You're already paid. And you know what? Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 We'll insinuate that he's another Paul brother. He can be Billy Paul.
No, that's what I don't want to be. I don't want to be.
All Billy.

Speaker 1 We're going to, you're going to start doing wiggle dicks on the part of my take

Speaker 1 TikTok. You should fight Jake Paul.
Yeah, you should fight Jake Paul. I dude, he's actually fought before.

Speaker 1 I know. He's actually

Speaker 1 a sick wrestler in Ohio, too. Yeah.
You could take him. Yeah.
All right, Billy.

Speaker 1 Peace. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 I'm to say I'd say anyway

Speaker 1 isn't all we take to find me

Speaker 1 shining away

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love okay

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love okay

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 what I want to do

Speaker 1 I'm upset

Speaker 1 I feel you stir within a hole

Speaker 1 within I up here.

Speaker 1 Say it for me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry. Say it to me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 young

Speaker 1 every day.

Speaker 1 All the things that you say

Speaker 1 just the flame of words away.

Speaker 1 You are the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 You shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 your

Speaker 1 favourite