Kendrick Perkins, Top 10 QB's Of All Time, Mt Flushmore of Places To Be Drunk

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have NBA champion Kendrick Perkins. Great interview with Perk.
He will just make you laugh. Like, his voice and his demeanor and his answers to things.
Very, very funny. Great guy.

A lot of fun, especially him talking about his sons racking up $16,000 on his credit cards for Fortnite bills. We have the NFL 100 list.
We're going to do QBs tonight. We're also going to give you our top 10 QBs of all time since 1980.
we have

Hot Seat Cool Throne

Mount Flushmore of places

to be drunk and guys on chicks. So a packed show for everyone.
The barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices. Stop searching all over Google for your next tee time.
Start searching multiple courses in your area from one app. It's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online.
Just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times. Plus, the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group.
Earn golf time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews. And then you

can redeem those rewards for free Barstool Golf Merch in our store. Download the Barstool Golf

Time app now. Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times.
Barstool Golf Time app

now. Okay, let's go.
Hey! on the sun oh no we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue it's part of my take presented by bar stool sports welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app i just announced the cash app derby is coming friday night live from

my apartment so gotta get involved we're giving away free money uh corresponding with each horse to a great charity cause and we're also giving away money to the awls for finishing uh correct exactus so you gotta get that ready we're giving away free money on friday night with the cat cave Derby. Today is Wednesday,

April 15th. Oh! Tax day!

Oh, wait. Oh!

Not so fast, my friend. Holy shit.
It's tax day, boys. Do we know when tax day is? I think June 15th.
Oh, they only pushed it back two months. I'm on the October plan.
Yeah, I'm going to need. It's stim check day.
Oh, are you getting the stim? Well, I bet away my stim check playing Call of Duty, so I already kind of lost it. Got it.
You bet $1,500 playing Call of Duty? Someone was like, I'll bet you your stim check you won't get more than two kills. And I was like, that's easy.
And then you didn't. And then I didn't.
Well, that's stimulating the economy. Yeah.
We have to get back to normalcy again, and that's Hank gambling on video games that he's not very good at. Dude, how about this? It's tax day, and we don't have to do our fucking taxes.
Hell yeah. What am I they also pushing back the october extension date because they should let's be fair here it should be six months so therefore december or december 15th should be our tax day with the amount of shrewd bucks that are going around the world right now i feel like you know it's kind of a live and let live society another good thing about today we just got a glimpse into the future of sports sports is being scheduled again yes the pga tour just announced a second ago the cat cave derby but also that's all we have left the pga tour yes said that they're going to start playing their events with no fans in what june june yeah so starting in june they're just going to have these tournaments going so Oh, my God.
So sports is coming back. It's not a moment too soon because I saw – did you see that, like, the last couple days online, various content farm websites, not to name names but Bleacher Report, are putting together brackets.
We're doing brackets in April right now. That's like the last resort.
It's brackets in the pick three. The pick three challenge is I want my eyes to bleed.
But you can't do a bracket. You can't start new brackets in April.
March is bracket season. You're burning through your content so fast.
You mentioned Dwight Schrute. This is like that episode in The Office where Dwight Schrute gets stuck in the elevator and within 30 seconds establishes a pee corner.
We're like a month into no sports. You can't be busting out the big guns yet.
People are losing their minds, but that's good. So we have sports coming back.
We don't have to pay our taxes. Listen, this is good.
This is the most positive PMT start that we've had in a month. We're feeling good.
And then, PFT, you had a great idea. We're going to do a, like, let's imagine what the first event, if we could pick any event to come back to what would we pick just to do a little thought bubble everyone should reply to us with what they want this is just us it's like let's think about sports it's the power of positive thinking yeah so in this thought experiment what we're doing is we're not saying like oh um the super bowl and it has to be in february right i'm saying like if it were to be hypothetically may 1st so you'd have a couple weeks to look forward to it but it could be any event it could be like any game any league any sport what game would you want to be that first one back to pop that cherry what would you want what are we talking crowds or no crowds no just pretend let's just pretend for a second that it's all the crowd it's normal normal.
Yeah, it's totally normal. Close your eyes and boom, you get to watch this game.
I mean, Tampa against New England would be pretty sick. In the snow or no snow? Snow in Tampa.
I like that. Snow in Tampa, Brady and Gronk against the New England Patriots.
Rally towel. Wait, Gronk's on the Bucs? Yeah, because by then, by May 1st, he will be on the Bucs.
Interesting. I've found it interesting that that hasn't been confirmed yet.
The draft's still a week and a half way. And by the way, it's confirmed.
It's happening. Oh, it's confirmed.
Malcolm Butler? No, no. This is just me being overconfident to get back at Hank right now.
I think it's going to happen still. I'm still at like 85%, 90%.
So I'm in the boat of I missed March Madness so, so dearly that I would love. I thought at first I was like, how about a good old-fashioned Iron Bowl? Like Alabama-Auburn, just fucking let it go crazy.
Because that's also probably where sports will come back first is states where they're like who cares just alabama yeah right but i i i'm gonna pick uh the finalists here and i'm probably gonna piss off a lot of people but i would love to see the conclusion to march madness and i'll throw it out there a repeat of the maui invitational i'd like to see kansas play dayton first game back national championship that we've got all the storylines. Kansas is a juggernaut.
Dayton, OB topping. Ain't no stopping.
Shout out Dayton. I'm sure the Dayton Flyer fans had a real renaissance this year where they were aggressively saying something nice about Dayton.
So there it is. If you close your eyes right now and just imagine a marching band, a school marching band playing inside, how fucking cool does that sound? like having the pomp and circuit like having an nfl game back would be great but having the pomp and circumstance of a college game and hearing even dude give me oklahoma putting up 80 against like ucla and let me hear the fucking song over and over and over my backup was oklahoma oklahoma state yeah me 90 points.
I think if it was going to be one event that's like kicking off sports being back, a star-studded WrestleMania, where it's like, this is the event tonight. You're going to have all the celebrity cameos.
You're going to have all the athletes, like all the crowd. And then it's like, starting after tonight, sports are back on.
It would be the most electric event of all time. That'd be good.
People would be going nuts. Also, Niners at Seahawks.
Because you could have players from each league make cameos. It would be a constant, like, we're back, bitches.
Damn. Wet Pete Carroll.
Ah. Chewing his gum at night.
God damn, that would be so nice. So nice.
I want to see a crushing loss for the Cowboys in Jerry World. world uh-huh just a shitload of screenshots of him being disappointed in the box throwing stuff at his son yeah yankees red socks baseball get fauci to throw out the first pitch fauci wants baseball back yeah he does yeah so we're gonna get baseball back i think baseball is gonna come back i really do and i'm down for like the frankenstein version of baseball for one year only just being like fuck it we're all going to play in weird leagues and we don't care because this will be a year that we all just are like what happened no fans are no only fans admitted are ones who could recognize mike trout at the mall yeah so no fans pick him out of the lineup so no his family would be allowed to um.
So we got sports news. We got visualization of sports coming back.
We also had Defenders Vipers. We'll pay back him.
Nah. Nah.
Nah. We also have sports news with Christian McCaffrey getting paid and people debating whether you should pay a running back or not.
I still don't think you should. Yeah.
The answer is no.ccaffrey is the classic well look at how much receiving he does and it's like the old you keep looking for a unicorn when all you need is a horse like you keep you keep trying to find a way i like that to make christian mccaffrey no it's an old saying i fucking love that yeah keep looking for a unicorn all you need is a horse all you need is that horse and you and you're people are like saying are like saying, I think Christian McCaffrey, the stat that is most quoted is he's the first ever to, in his first three years, have 2,500 yards rushing, 2,500 yards receiving. Incredible.
But tell me when paying a running back is worth it. It's never worth it.
But I mean, good for Christian McCaffrey getting paid. This is not a knock against him.
No a knock at all against him. But it's like, yeah, if there were a running back out there, I would pay it be McCaffrey, Kamara, Derek Henry probably.
But then Derek Henry would probably slow down. The thing about paying a running back, it sounds like a good idea at the time.
And if you're a new head coach, this is such a new head coach move to come in and be like, okay, I'm going to anoint the face of the franchise and be like, this my guy we're moving on from cam we're going to christian mccaffrey it's like um it's like ordering shots of jägermeister well it sounds good and then later on it's like having sex raw dog it's good in the moment nine months later you're like fuck i definitely shouldn't have done that the christian mccaffrey like he is the one running back who you can look at and be like okay maybe but if you had to do gun to your head at the end of this deal will you think like that was something that we definitely would have done again i would say no probably not right but was he going to hold out no he had still two years left on his deal so they did like a extension off it's a just like to show you respect move right which those never and again again if you if you want to talk about like the perfect time that you would actually pay a running back it is right before he's he's not even 24 years old he he's a good receiver and running back he does everything he's dynamic but even with all of that like that's that's the the part about this whole entire deal is like christian mccaffrey should be the guy that signs the wealthiest running back contract and everyone be like great deal. But you still in the back of your head, you're like, but running backs are not what they used to be.
Yeah, no, I agree a hundred percent. Matt rule.
We'll figure that out pretty quickly. Yeah, he's going to never, this will be the only big contract that Matt rule ever hands out to a running back.
Yes. Yes.
All right. Speaking of football, should we do football, we've been doing the top 100 list.
We've been breaking down every position. We've been dissecting their list.
We're doing quarterbacks today, and I threw it out to the group a couple hours ago that looking at the quarterback list, there's not a lot of mistakes here if we do the same thing we've been doing where it's like the old guys don't touch them.

So we're going to do two things.

We're going to talk about the list.

So the list is as such.

Joe Montana.

So these are actually, let me do the old guys first.

Johnny Unitas, Otto Graham, Sammy Baugh, Roger Staubach.

Crazy stat about Sammy Baugh that not many people realize.

In one year, he led the league.

I think it was in touchdowns,

interceptions and punting.

I love it.

I love it.

He did it all.

So those are the old guys.

So we're not touching them.

Then the new guys are Joe Montana,

Tom Brady,

John Elway,

Peyton Manning,

Brett Favre,

Dan Marino.

Looking at this list,

I have no issue with it.

Nope.

If you have to do the old guys,

I have no issue with it.

So what I said was we should do our top 10 quarterbacks, rank them from 1980 on. And that's what we're going to do.
Let's do it. So start debate.
This could get contentious. Hank, would you like to start with your top 10? I would love to.
Okay. Just rattle them off.
Yeah, in order. Top 10.
And then we'll figure out where we disagree. I think we'll agree on a few things this is my personal list well it's all of our personal lists no actually my list is uh is uh cdc approved my number one tom brady no i mean no debate there you have tom let's actually let's do it this way let's go let's go around like your ones does everyone have tom brady one i did have tom brady i have tom brady one as well mo lewis 1a tom 1A.
Tom Brady is 1. Joe Montana 2.
I have Joe Montana 2 also. Blake Bortles, number 3.
Okay, come on. Do it for real.
But yeah, Blake is obviously number 3. I said in the beginning, it's my personal quarterback list in the last 20 years.
We're going to get to this with Perk later, but is this the best or the greatest? This is the greatest. This is how I feel.
If I'm thinking, I was rattling my brain and I was like, what quarter are the okay all right all right all right so i disagree on three let's do it piece by piece so we'll we'll disagree so i have peyton manning is my i also had peyton manning okay so pft and i have the same list so far drew breeze i do not have drew breeze as my number four i did not have the thing with dan marino and steve young i have them on here but i just didn't see them so it's tough like Yeah. I don't want to be like, yeah, you've got to put them on the list when it's like, I've literally never watched them play a game.
Right. Most people only know them from their appearances.
A part of my take. Dan Marino would not be on this list.
Blake Bortles and Jared Goff would be one and two. Baker Mayfield, Jared Goff.
Yeah. What is your four PFT? Aaron Rodgers.
What? Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers is four? Aaron Rodgers is...
Yes. Have you ever watched him play? Yes, but he's not.
No. No.
Four? Yes. He's four.
You should know better than I do. No.
No. His career's not over.
And he's... Like...
No. I mean, if that's...
I've got several players whose career... Well, I have a couple of...
I have number four. I Dan Marino.
But Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback that I've ever seen in terms of the throws he can make, everything that he can do. Now, granted, the last couple years, not as great.
But in his prime, like those four, five, six years, the Packers were never out of a game. It didn't matter who was playing wide receiver for him.
They didn't have a running back, basically. How about Dan Marino? Never had a defense.
Dan Marino, I'm giving Dan Marino his... I was looking at it, and I don't have Aaron Rodgers until number seven.
So, I mean, I have him on my list. But Dan Marino deserves more credit than he gets.
I know we all make the jokes, but he was fucking insane. So you and I flip-flopped because I had Marino seven.
Okay, so Dan Marino had five years. I'll look up Aaron Rodgers.
Dan Marino had five years where he led the league in passing. He also, Dan Marino was like Patrick Mahomes before Patrick Mahomes when you're talking about his second year in the league when he had 48 touchdowns in an NFL 1984.
He had 48 touchdowns in 5,000 yards, which is fucking ridiculous. And I also, so who's your number five? Real quick, I've actually wondered this about Dan Marino.
Maybe you can help me out because to me, he doesn't have any signature moments or games where I think that's the Dan Marino game. With Aaron Rodgers, they're fake spike fake spike there you go okay thank you for helping me out with that spike yeah so Aaron Rodgers has never led the league in passing he's never led the league in passing he I mean he has an insane TD to interception ratio I'll give you that and he led the league in touchdowns once Dan Marino led the league in passing five times and touchdowns three times.
I mean, so Dan Marino's 1984 season, when they went 14-2, he had 48 touchdowns, 5,000 yards, and this is in the NFL that obviously is not what the NFL is today, and 64% completion percentage. He was Patrick Mahomes.
He was very good. I'm not trying to take away from Dan Marino as a player.
I just think that Aaron Rodgers, from what I've seen from him, probably like the most impressive arm talent on this list. But then he should win more.
They do win a lot. He should win more.
They just haven't won in the playoffs as much. He should win more.
I mean, wait, wait, wait. If you're saying he should win more, I'm pretty sure his record over his career, what's his win percentage compared to Dan Marino? Because you can't can't not I don't know Aaron Rodgers not winning no I'm just saying that and then have Dan Marino he's the most impressive guy like I think at some point you also have to like back it up with winning a shitload too I mean they have won a shitload and they won one Super Bowl but they've won a lot okay I listen I have Aaron Rodgers on my list I just think Dan Marino especially like his numbers when you look at him throughout his entire career is fucking insane all right hank who you got next uh my number five brett farve okay okay i got no problem with that i have elway at five i also had elway at five so the one thing with elway which is kind of more to my dan marino point and like and i guess it would be darren rogers that you know if you have defense, but Elway, the crazy thing about Elway's career, he went to three Superbowls before he won one.
And he was basically like carrying that team. Then at the end of his career, he gets an all time running back and a good defense and they win two Superbowls and the history of Elway is written completely different.
Yep. So I looked at it.
He went, his first 15 playoff performances, he had 11 out of 15 he threw for over 225 yards. His last seven playoff games, which were the two Super Bowl runs, he threw over 225 yards one time.
So it's like he, you know, like if Dan Marino had the ability of having a defense in Terrell Davis at the end of his career, it could be totally different. Do you think that Dan Marino or excuse me, do you think that John Elway would have drafted John Elway? Because I don't think that he would.
Well, he was only 6'3". He said he was going to go play for the Yankees.
215. Yeah.
Yeah. So that red flag in John Elway's eyes.
I think that also like in those Super Bowls, John Elway, his defense was dog shit in a couple of them.

I think the Redskins put up 28 points in the second quarter. No, absolutely.
And so it's not on him that they lost those Super Bowls. That's what I'm saying.
John Elway was an awesome quarterback. If you ever saw him scramble, he's like maybe some people out there have seen more of Steve Young than of John Elway.
But John Elway was a better Steve Young before Steve Young was in the NFL. that that's kind of my point though is that like John Elway and Dan Marino

kind of my point, though, is that John Elway and Dan Marino

kind of had the same.

I mean, obviously, Dan Marino only went to one Super Bowl,

but they had similar careers up until John Elway.

It's just such a hard thing to judge quarterbacks

when you throw everything in there, and you're like,

oh, yeah, the defense obviously matters a lot.

And you could play that game with anyone. You could play it with Peyton Manning if he had a better defense or you could play it the reverse way like if Rex Grossman didn't you know fumble the ball and and the and the Broncos didn't have an unbelievable defense could he have zero so it's a what-if sliding door game all right number six real quick I had one more thing with John yeah so the drive so he had he engineered the drive we the drive.
We've got the drive. We've got the catch.
We've got the fumble. How many more different plays have yet to be named like really, really simply like that? Has there been like the interception? The kick? The kick.
We don't have the kick yet, do we? We have the kick six. Got kick six.
Alabama Auburn. We got the double.
We don't have the kick yet. No, no, no, no.
I was thinking of the kicking game. Yeah.
The punt double we don't have the kick yet no no no I was thinking of the kicking game the punt we don't have the punt do we have the punt return oh yeah Deshaun Jackson yeah that's the punt return yeah yeah okay the kick return might be Hester actually yeah yeah you're right to start the Super Bowl that's pretty crazy I mean I think you probably have to win the Super Bowl to have that be cemented. We've got the tackle against the Rams, the Titans-Rams Super Bowl.
Yep, yep. All right, Hank, you're number six.
Big Ben Roethlisberger. Oh, okay.
I don't like that one. It's a crazy one, but okay.
Also, his career is not done. Yeah, the story has not been.
Ben Roethlisberger has the worst QBR for a Super Bowl winning quarterback. He also has twice as many Super Bowls as Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah, that's true. That's also true.
I was about to do it, but I was like, but we did our prime numbers on Monday. But in that first Super Bowl that he got, he really didn't do shit.
No, that's what I'm saying. I'll actually look it up.
It's very funny. It's another case where it's hard to judge.
People say the same thing about Brady for his first one. Well, no.
This is the John Elway thing. John Elway's best years were not his Super Bowl years.
He was very old at the end. He was still a very good quarterback, but it wasn't.
And Maiden got carried to his second one, too. But, Hank, imagine if Tom Brady won that first Super Bowl, then won another Super Bowl six years later, and nothing after that.
Would you put him on this list? No. Yeah.
Okay, I got to find this game. Well, but Ben Roethlisberger also ran into a buzzsaw.
Like, you can't, if you're playing the Patriots every season. Oh, because I played the Patriots.
It's not his fault. That was smart to put smart to put him there then.
That was good, yeah. Yeah.
You should have put him number two overall, actually. Yeah, you would be number one if it weren't for the Patriots.
Notice that Hank does not have Peyton Manning on his list yet. All right, so you have Ben Rosberger as your six.
I have Favre. Okay.
I have one, two, three, four, five.

I have Favre also.

Okay.

So we tied there.

The only thing we have different right now is Rodgers and Marino.

Yes.

Okay.

Hank, you're seven.

Brett Favre winning three MVPs in a row is pretty crazy.

It is sick.

And he's just like, you think quarterback, he's the gunslinger.

Even though he did throw like 300 plus interceptions, which I'll happily point out. That's part of the reason he's just like, you think quarterback, he's quick on in the thought process.
Even though he did throw like 300-plus interceptions,

which I'll happily point out.

That's part of the reason he's on this list,

is because he threw all those interceptions and was still awesome

and was probably the most fun quarterback to watch.

Ben Roethlisberger in that Super Bowl win against the Seahawks,

9 for 21, 123 yards, two interceptions.

That's awesome.

And the refs gave it to him, too.

Dan Marino's got to watch that and be like, what the fuck?

Yeah.

I mean,

honestly,

the refs should have been the offense.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

Your number seven.

Marino.

Okay.

PFT,

you have Marino as well.

I have Marino seven.

I have Rogers as my seven.

Okay.

Eight.

It's kind of crazy that the Packers have two top 10 quarterbacks all

time and they only have two Super Bowls to show for it. Just saying.
That is wild. Eight, Steve Young.
Okay. Interesting.
What's your eight? I've got Drew Brees. Same.
So PFT and I pretty much have the same list except for the Marino-Rodgers. I think we're going to disagree with the next couple.
Okay. Number nine, Aaron Rodgers.
Okay. Number nine.
Number nine, Russell Wilson. Whoa.
Okay. Russell Wilson.
Number nine, I have Steve Young. Okay.
All right. And my number 10, Pat Mahomes.
Same with me. Same with me.
Yeah, so we all had Patrick Mahomes, number 10. Was anybody else's 11, Troy Aikman? 11, I had Troy Aikman somewhere.
He was somewhere around the list. Yeah, I had him thrown around.
So wait, did you not have Steve Young? I did not not have steve young okay so you don't have 11 as steve young uh no wow wait so you which one of mine did you not have on the list i don't have russell you don't have russell willis on the list okay i do not have russell what about if we were just do as a as a unit together the most fun quarterbacks to watch mike vick would be number one i I'd have Favre one, Vick two.

Jameis is making a late push, but there's not enough tape of him.

Jameis is pretty fun.

Jameis is pretty fucking fun.

Phillip Rivers.

Phil Rivers is definitely up there for fun quarterbacks.

I'm trying to think of who else.

I mean, Manning was pretty fun when he was calling his own plays

and just spouting a bunch of nonsense.

Brock Osweiler.

Matt Schaub. Matt Schaub was great.
Matt Schaub was very fun. I mean, Manning was pretty fun when he was calling his own plays and just, like, spouting a bunch of nonsense.
Brock Osweiler. Matt Schaub.
Matt Schaub was great that one year. Matt Schaub was very fun.
I mean, Rex Grossman. Yeah.
I mean, just throw deep. Just hope it works.
RG3 that one year. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, Lamar Jackson you could throw on the fun list.
But, all right, so we didn't disagree that much. I guess we should put these quote board liam bubba and we'll we'll put it out there because i'm sure people will discuss it's a good way to get people to discuss just debate quarterbacks in the middle of the quarantine but either way i think they did a good job so you you think that the nfl 100 list you actually have a problem with it because Aaron Rodgers should be on there

instead of Dan Marino.

Yes.

Okay.

That's the one change that I would make.

Okay.

All right.

And then where would you rank?

If we went to 100,

would you get Peyton Manning in there?

He's probably top 20.

He's squeaking at the end.

Where's Eli?

Not on the list.

Okay.

Highest paid quarterback of all time.

I mean, he beat Tom Brady twice in Super Bowls.

The Giants, yeah.

You should have him number one, actually,

because he's so good that he beat the best quarterback twice.

No, it's more like a clock is always right.

A broken clock is right twice a day type of thing.

There we go.

There we go.

I also feel like they included Dan Marino on this list

because they have to be nice to him.

I just feel like Dan Marino.

Anytime you're making a list, you have to be like,

yeah, Dan Marino, you were great.

Remind people that he was good. I'm going to find a Dan Marino highlightino highlight tape and i'm gonna tweet it out because damarino was fucking filthy and unfortunately his career didn't go the same way he also had the the the unfortunate ending of the worst playoff performance i think ever for his last game so that's also a problem is that like people remember Marino, like people in their probably early 30s, even our age, probably remember, like, their one big memory of Dan Marino is his last playoff game against the Jaguars.
I'm going to pull it up. It's actually, like, the saddest thing to watch, too, because Dan Marino was one of those guys where, like, once his legs went, it was just kind of like it was tough to watch.
He bounced back nicely, though, in Ace Ventura. So he won, actually, his second-to-last game against the Seahawks in the playoffs.
His last game against the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Miami Dolphins lost 62-7, and he went 11-for-25 with two interceptions. That's – it's sad.
That's a sad way to go out. So – and like I said, like, if he has i don't know if you if luck goes a different way for him and he has you know an awesome defense and a great running back at the end of his career who knows um all right let's do our hot seat cool throne then we'll get to kendrick perkins great interview with perk before we do hot seat cool throne we are brought to you by bud light seltzer bud light seltzer reminds you that cool thrown until further notice is staying safe and staying at home.
Order Bud Light Seltzer direct to your door through Drizzly and get $5 off for first time users by using code PMT at checkout. Some restrictions apply.
Do it again. Bud Light Seltzer reminds you that cool thrown until further notice is staying safe and staying at home.
Order Bud Light Seltzer, direct your door through Drizzly, and get $5 off for first-time users by using code PMT at checkout. By the way, I don't want to give you more ammunition, PFT, but if you wanted to for the Aaron Rodgers argument, you could say he also sat for four years.
That's very true. I don't want to.
I'm not going to. I was about to say, but I felt like I was just.
A good person would say that just to even help his nemesis in Aaron Rodgers.

I felt like I was embarrassing you with all my facts, so I didn't want to pile on, but

thanks for you saying it.

All the facts about how many times he led the league in passing, which were zero.

Well, he had a lot of leads.

Five.

That's what happens when you have a lot of leads, is you don't need to throw the ball.

In a fucking NFL that was very different.

All right.

Hot seat, Kulturo and Hank, go.

My hot seat is Coach Duggs.

We're going to... Five.
That's what happens when you have a lot of leads is you don't need to throw the ball. In a fucking NFL that was very different.
All right. Hot seat, Kulturo and Hank, go.
My hot seat is Coach Duggs. Ooh.
And you, Big Cat. What? Why? More sliders? No.
Undefeated season. Sliders are gone.
Sliders are gone. But I just feel like the tension has been building.
Yes. And you haven't got a loss out yet on Twitch stream, but you're playing in the championship tonight.
So it's just, I feel like you're on the acc championship if you don't get this victory yeah acc championship game on the pardon my take twitch channel at 10 p.m eastern i the haters it's very funny watching the haters leave whenever i get a lead and then watching it grow when it's like a close game but the haters i feel like we have the twitch haters are like young kids and they don't understand pft is is actually a master in this that for to get maximum suicidal big cat you need to let me win early and lose late if you had lost like your second or third game right that's no fun no it's like okay well no that kind of sucked that was fun for a little bit but once you really get your hopes up right that's when it's great to pull the carpet out from under. Right.
So they're not thinking long term. What are the haters saying in the chat? They just do F a lot, which I guess, Hank, you were wrong about what F means.
Yeah. Well, I had you on my hot seat, but you can address it right now.
So, yeah. I mean, I was just saying it's funny when it happens because it is fucking hilarious.
Like when Big Cat throws an interception and it's just flooded with Fs. All I was saying was it was very funny i didn't realize like it was a thing on twitch apparently it goes back to an old call of duty game where in the campaign mode someone died and on like the screen it popped up it said press f to pay respects so the whole thing is kind of like making fun of that original call of duty thing which was like meant to be dead serious like you're paying you're pressing f to pay respects for it was part of gameplay where you're at the the funeral of a fellow navy sealer or whatever and you're at the casket and says press f i this might be like a berenstein bears thing where my mind is wrong about a memory that it thinks that it had i always thought it was press x to pay respects that's why i didn't think that you were wrong when you said that no that's f i guess someone show me the screenshot the uh yeah so so acc championship game tonight and the they're calling me fraud state uh university they're they make fun of me because i only run like four plays but they made me take off the sliders so i can't like i just run the ball yeah just stop it if there's nothing i can do if you have a problem with it i'm scared to throw it and I just throw interceptions I threw like four picks the other night so your cool throne my cool throne is just like sports radio hosts and mending relationships Colin Coward wish Baker Mayfield a happy birthday on Twitter today oh shit we forgot to wish him a happy birthday can you do it from the PMT account real quick sure Sure.
Why should I just copy exactly what Colin Coward wrote? Yeah, but make one word a lot nicer. Yeah.
Well, he said happy. Oh, wait.
That's my account. Never done that before.
Happy birthday, Baker Mayfield. Party.
Wait, what? There's no way that he was just nice about it. Happy birthday, Baker Mayfield.
Big year ahead. No, that's all I said.
Huge year ahead. What should I say? huge year ahead what should i say yeah yeah happy beef yeah and then pft i i didn't even ask you further i was waiting for the show but you just mentioned earlier like hey did you guys see skip and stephen a like flirting with each other yeah what what is that about so they're making eyes from across the room at each other uh somebody well skip bail has started this out by just saying farve greater than sign greater than sign greater than probably about 30 or 40 greater than signs and then rogers debating up next at undisputed and um or is it under what's the name of their stupid show whatever okay whatever interrupted yeah so so skip bayless was just going out there casually in the middle of April, dropping far as greater than Rodgers takes, which you would probably agree with, based on your list.
Yes, I do agree with that. And then somebody tagged Stephen A.
Smith in it and said something like, is this man drunk or high or both? And Stephen A. Smith quote tweeted and said, Lord.
Oh. So Stephen A.
Smith is aware of Skip's takes, and that Lord is doing a lot of work there because it's a lordy hidden behind it's his version of being horny which is like i'm sick of debating against max kellerman because max kellerman doesn't throw this type of red meat at me that gets me going yep so i actually had i had that on my hot seat max was going to be on my hot seat that works so i think you. It's been our theory on this show that Skip and Stephen A.
Smith will eventually get back together. I agree.
They miss each other because Max is not the worthy foe. If you're a kid out there that never got to see those two guys debate each other, man, it's two titans of industry going at it.
It was must-see TV. It's going to have to be Skip going back to ESPN.
That's the problem. Yeah, that's true.
I don't think Stephen A is going anywhere. They're going to have to throw the bag at Skip.
Yeah. And immediately ask him to take a 15% pay cut.
Skip living in New York City. Oh, my God.
I would love that. Shit.
All right. What's your cool throne? So my cool throne is the alpha males who go back through someone's tweet history the night before the draft and dig up old tweets because you guys, it's your time to shine.
Very cool. I actually think there's nothing lamer than plotting ahead and trying to fuck up the biggest night of somebody's life because they had some weird tweets.
Like I think it was a couple years ago, the Eagles drafted somebody and they had said like Philadelphia sucks is filled with F-words or something like that. Back, like, seriously, nine years ago or six years ago, something like that.
If you're 13 and you're not tweeting out crazy stuff, you're not taking enough chances. And that, to me, is even more of a red flag.
Ooh, like Bo Callahan? Well, within reason. No one's going to his party? Within reason.
As long as it's not like racial, homophobic, sexist type stuff. But like, I think it was DeAnthony Thomas had a lot of cool shit.
People tried to nail him on that. I love kissing titties.
I love kissing. Exactly.
That's a great one. They tried to get Mitch on that one too.
Yeah, exactly. But it's going to happen and it's going to suck when it happens.
Yes. Or it's going to be awkward for everybody.
So in advance, I'm putting one in your ear hole. Okay.
My hot seat is Dave Gettleman's senses. So I don't know if you saw Dave Gettleman was bemoaning these virtual visits that he has to do.
Probably just because he has to get in front of a computer. But he said, obviously, when we would go to workouts, a lot of times the night before our coach and scout that would be at the pro day would take one two or three of the players out to dinner and have some conversation that way we're losing the personal touch points we have the visual touch point but we're really missing out on the personal touch point when you can smell or feel a guy smelling and feeling so poor poor dave gentleman's senses don't have any smelling or feeling about tasting a guy.
Smelling and feeling. Poor Dave Gettleman senses don't have any smelling or feeling of guys.
What about tasting a guy? Yeah. Why not? I think we've got to embrace debate.
Sorry to interrupt, but Skip just tweeted a program alert about tomorrow's Undisputed, which is the name of the show. Uninterrupted, yeah.
Shannon and me at 9.30 as we debate what we believe and don't believe about the size of Friday Night Gathering at Dak's home. Oh.
Embrace debate. Jesus Christ.
What was the size of the gathering? Wow. There needs to be a full cereal done on that party that they had.
Damn. I think it was my over-under is 15 and a half.
I don't believe it was 30. I'm going to hit the over.
I think it was about 20, 25. Dak said it was under 10.
No way. Well, I what he means by that it's under 10 cowboys yeah and then probably two strippers under 10 chicks yeah well no under 10 dudes and then like probably two chicks for every dude that was yeah yeah um all right my cool throne is uh the niners because they saved lives by not winning the super bowl that was a report.
I used, obviously, the spin zone. The Bears saved all the lives by not drafting Mahomes because it was funny.
They were like, the Niners saved lives by not winning a Super Bowl. Alternate headline is, Patrick Mahomes is so fucking good that he can save lives in other cities.
But you're saying that the Bears... Not drafting Patrick Mahomes did the ultimate sacrifice because chicago is so much never celebrate never celebrate anything ever put up a tear down the jordan statue yeah because he probably endangered more lives in the flu game it's mitch tear that down it's mitch put up a statue of mitch and cody yeah and then my other cool throne is uh we have uh is us because we're not I think we're not going to do the bike ride on this Friday.
We're going to do it all Friday. We've got to do it a Friday when it's not raining in 40 degrees.
There's a weather alert. Yeah.
We can't be unsafe. I don't mind football weather going out there in 40 degrees, but when you add in the rain to that 30 miles on a tandem.
There's a pandemic. I don't know if you looked around.
There there's a pandemic we don't need to go out there and compromise our immune system when we're under attack that's true so we're doing what the cdc dr fauci our personal friend has said so all friday we're going to be doing it probably next friday if the weather's nicer if the weather's nicer so yeah 40 degrees and the rain that's a little bit too except you'd probably be wanting me to be in the front if it was raining to absorb some of the rain. Yeah, but then you would, like, flip your hair and then whip me with it.
I would do that. I whip my hair back and forth.
Yeah, right. So we're going to do it, though.
We're going to do it. Guarantee.
Let's get to Kendrick Perkins. Real quick, with your Dave Gettleman thing, did you see the picture of him that came out of him pretending that he was at a computer? No.
It was like him at a desk where a computer definitely usually isn't, and he's just staring at us so that he can take a picture of him. Call that the A-Rod.
Yeah, being like, look at him. He's working.
He's adapting to these times. He's absolutely not adapting.
And I saw that the NFL draft was going to be conducted. We already knew that it was going to be a virtual draft.
Then they added in the wrinkle that because there are so many GMs that are technically, technologically illiterate, there would also be a conference call that would be open at the time that you could just yell out what your pick was if you couldn't get it in in the correct methods. I will pay $5,000 to get access to that conference call on draft night.

Okay.

Out of my own pocket.

Wow.

If I can get access, and I'm not talking about just the open line that I can listen to.

We want to be able to talk.

I want to be able to make fake draft picks for the New York football giants. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, I'll split that with you so you don't have to do it all.

$2,500.

No, no, say $5,000.

I'm going to do $2,500, and Big Cat's going to match it.

Yes, there we go. We've got matching.
And Hank, you're going to match.2,500 and Big Cat's going to match it. Yes.
There we go.

We've got matching.

And Hank, you're going to match.

Oh, no.

You already gave away your Trump box.

All right.

Let's go to Kendrick Perkins.

PFT, you got an ad.

Yes.

Before we get to Kendrick, I want to talk to you about our very, very good friends at

Mugsy Jeans.

They are literally the only jeans that we wear because they look like jeans, but they

feel like sweatpants.

It's not an exaggeration.

I'm pretty sure Big Cat's wearing some Mugsy jeans right now.

Yes, sir.

They're the only jeans that I wear anymore.

I don't know. only jeans that we wear because they look like jeans, but they feel like sweatpants.
It's not an exaggeration. I'm pretty sure big cats wearing some Mugsy jeans right now.
They're the only jeans that I wear anymore. I did a full jeans cleaning about, I'd say three or four months ago, got rid of every single pair of jeans I had in my entire apartment that were not Mugsy jeans because you know that feeling when you reach for like your backup, backup, backup, most favorite pants, and you know, it's going to be a bad day right from the get-go because you're not wearing the pants that you want to wear? That's what I felt when I was not putting on my Muggsies.
And that's not an exaggeration either. We don't know the guys at Muggsie.
We don't know how they did it, but their jeans feel like sweatpants that had sex with even more comfortable sweatpants and somehow had an awesome jeans baby. Muggsie was started by a stoolie who was tired of being uncomfortable in his jeans.
His goal was simple, reinvent men's jeans to look good and feel outrageously comfortable. After five years of working with industry experts, he perfected jeans for the common man.
The magic is in their proprietary denim, which is made from a bunch of high-tech materials that make these jeans mind-blowingly soft and super flexible. Even better, Muggsy's come in a stylish fit that's not too baggy but not too tight.
They always fit perfectly. You're going to look even better than you feel.
If you want to look good indoors for yourself or your partner, if you want to look for your boss on that important Zoom call that you have later, if you want to look good for that person, well, then you need to choose Muggsy. Muggsy jeans are sweeping the Stooley Nation.
It's for good reason. Take our word for it.
Give Mugsy jeans a try. You're not going to want to put on a pair of jeans again.
They're so confident that you're going to love their jeans. They're going to do free shipping and free return.
So your comfort is 100% guarantee. Do your legs a favor.
Go to Mugsy.com. M-U-G-S-Y.com.
I can't give a higher recommendation than I'm giving you right now for Mugsy Jeans.

I love Mugsy Jeans.

To check out their full line of jeans and safer work chinos, go to Mugsy.com.

Use promo code PMT for $10 off.

It's a beer on us and a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans ever made by going to M-U-G-S-Y. com and use promo code P-M-T.
And now, Kendrick Perkins. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
It is NBA champion. You can see him on ESPN all the time.
You can see him on Twitter every single day. One of my favorite reply guys out there at Kendrick Perkins.
It is Kendrick Perkins Perk. Thank you for joining us.
We appreciate it. I got to start before we talk basketball.
I got to ask the most important question. Quarantine, how much was the final bill that your son racked up on your credit card for Fortnite? Because I saw that story that he put $16,000 on your credit card bill.
Is it still climbing? Or what's going on in the Perk House? Man, Big Cat, hey, listen. First of all, I appreciate y'all having me on.
You know, we way past due for this, for having me on y'all show. And I want to, I want to thank y'all

for having me on. I love what y'all doing with the show.
It's a fantastic show. And I just want to thank y'all, but listen, these kids are driving me crazy.
Not only, I mean, you know, they ran up my credit card bill. So what I did now is I took my credit card number off their cell phone.
So I made their own iCloud, own iTunes account. So what they have now is they have prepaid credit cards.
So now they have to come ask me to put money on their cards. But they can't get on...
See, the thing is they can't get on... Now, they made it worse for themselves because they can't get on video games during the week.
They're only allowed to get on video games during the weekend. And the max that they can spend on the video games now is $10.
And that's for the weekend. That's nothing.
But, I mean, it's smart for you to put them on an expense account. But what you should have done is you should have just gone out there and made like $18,000 worth of purchases on Fortnite for yourself and then kicked their asses in it.
Right. Hey, listen, I thought about it.
That's what I thought about it. But you know what? I got my money back, though.
I did get my money back. Yeah, because it's a rule that if you're not over 16 years old,

that is some type of rule that you could get your money back.

So I got every dollar back.

I disputed those charges.

Okay, nice.

All right, so that's a good resolution.

I had to ask that first because I feel like that is the most pressing issue

is the Fortnite purchases in the Perkins household while everyone's shelter in place. Yes, God bless America.
It was crazy. I want to get to this right off the jump real quick.
You did say that you're overdue for coming on the show. We've been trying to get you on here for like six, eight months, something like that.
You are probably our producer, Hank's, like, probably top four favorite basketball player of all time. And he says that he's been hounding you, but you've been ghosting him.
Would you like to address those allegations that Hank has made towards you? Yes, I do got to address Hank. Look, Hank, I appreciate you, you know, being a fan of mine, man, and I really appreciate you finally getting me on the show.
But I only heard from Hank at least once or twice. He hasn't been hounding me for six, eight weeks.
I'm not hard to find. I think PFT exaggerated that.
He exaggerated that a little bit. Well, you mentioned it on the show.
Hank usually hounds people. I love Hank because I'm one of his favorite players.
So he get a pass. I take the fault of this, but I've been anxious to get on the show, though.
Okay. All right, so you squashed the beef there.
Hank, do you have your one question? Because we know Hank had a question. Didn't you want to ask a question about the finals? Go ahead.
I got a million questions. I guess the one I told them to ask is, how many fouls do you think you actually have committed in your career? Good question.

Fouls?

Fouls?

I ain't called technical fouls.

Because, you know, if the game ended and I had less than four fouls,

I felt like I didn't do my job.

I like that.

I like that.

I think what Hank's getting to, though, is you –

I don't think I've ever seen you put your hand up and say,

that one's on me.

Like when you get called for a foul, it's like, no, that wasn't really a foul. But then at the end of the game, you accept it.
Yeah, but you know what? You got to debate it. Because see, you got to play the mind games with the referees because sometimes they'll let you get away with fouls.
You know what I'm saying? So if you debate a few, then they'll let you get away with the ones that they were supposed to call. Because there was a few times that I was supposed to foul out the game, but since I argued so many calls, they were like, oh, you know, I'm going to let this one ride.
You know, they get tired of hearing your mouth. You got to play that mind game with them, Hank.
That's brilliant. Yeah, I didn't think about it that way.
Alright, so going off of that, because you were a physical player, I'm always curious about players in different eras. And we had Joe Harris from the Nets in a couple months ago, and it was right after he signed his deal that we're like, hey, you realize if this was 20 years ago, you probably wouldn't have had a spot in the NBA because the three-point shot wasn't the way it is now.

You were probably in the correct era that, like, if you came along today, do you think that there would be a spot for you on an NBA roster in terms of, like, an old-school center?

No, not at all.

I would probably be playing overseas.

I'm glad I came along when I did because, you know, the game changed tremendously. Now as a big, but hold on, but let me tell y'all something, man.
I got a lot of, I got a lot of, I got a complete package in my game. Doc Rivers just made me into a role player at an early age because we needed to win a championship.
Doc Rivers stopped me from, Doc Rivers kind of stopped, I love Dr. Dell, but he'll tell you, see, he stopped me from really being a four-time All-Star because I had to buy into being a role player to win a championship.
But no, in all seriousness, no, I wouldn't have made it because, you know, the highest my vertical ever been was like 28 inches. And nowadays, if you're a center, you got to have a 40-inch vertical.
You got to be able to run the floor like a gazelle. And that's never been me.
You know, at my best speed, I may be a 5'2 40". So no way, no way I would have been able to keep up with the pace that these guys play with today.
And, you know, but back in the day, yeah, that was my style. Physical, playing through elbow, playing through the elbows and low block area, you know, games, the score of 90 to 88 final, no running up and down.
Here you take a three, now it's my turn. Here you go score a layup, my turn.
Score 178 to 180 when the game in. No, that wouldn't be, I wouldn't have fit it in too good.
I appreciate that. And like thinking about it even more, I actually think that you timed your career perfectly.
Because thinking about it even like if you were in the 90s, you wouldn't have been paid what you were paid. Like you were actually the perfect time for your skill set to maximize the value that you got in the NBA.
I agree 100%. You know what? And that's what every agent tells their player the same thing.
Unless you're a megastar or superstar, timing is Timing is everything, especially when it comes down to sports and contracts and things like that. Timing is everything.
That's how some summers you see and you see a guy get $100 million, you're like, hold on, how did he get $100 million? Because he came up at the right time. Do you think that there's a chance that the league is going to kind of swing back at some point, the pendulum is going to go back more to a game where a big center can just body people up and thrive, or is it just going to keep being spread out like this for the foreseeable future? Well, you know what's going to have to happen? One, a team is going to have to win one or two championships doing it the traditional way with a big center.
Two, there's going to have to be an upcoming young player, and I think I have him, and my son, Kingston Perkins. There's going to have to change the game, and he's going to be probably the next Shaq where he's going to have to force the game to go back to where it want to be.
Because just think about it. The game really changed when Steph Curry came along.
Steph Curry, Golden State Warriors, they kind of changed the whole dynamic of centers and power forwards. Because, you know, they were the first team really to go extra small with a 6'6 Draymond Green at center and, you know, Steph and them shooting threes right as soon as they cross half court.
So, you know, at the end of the day, I think it's going to take a team to win a championship the traditional way. And I think Greg Popovich, he tried to stick with it, but it's not working right now.
So I think it might take another – let me see, Kingston 8. Yeah, it'll take another 10 years.
So once Don Perkins is there, he'll get back to the norm. I'm watching him right now.
He's a beast. Is this the kid who spent $16,000 on Fortnite? No, it was both of them.
I have a swear to y'all also. Okay, okay.
But both of them, yeah. So what happened was that they wasn't just spending it on themselves.
It's a group of them, and they was buying their cousins, their friends. I mean, they was having it their way.
And I did not even know because, you know, I use a certain credit card, you know, because that's the way I'm able to keep up on my budget. But this particular day, I was rushing out the house, and it was nighttime, and I actually was going to get me a pint of cookies and cream ice cream.
Yep. And I said, well, this is this card right here.
Let me grab this. I get to the store, and she's, it's the client.
I'm like, what? I haven't touched this credit card in like two weeks. So I call the people and they're like, it's maxed out.
First of all, my limit on my credit card is $15,000. So they let them go over an extra $1,000, which I didn't even tell anybody.
So I'm like, how did I get $16,000? So I go back and look at the credit card statement, and it was just Fortnite. It was video games, this, $269, $300 here, $300 there.
I'm like, what? Did he have an excuse? When you're like, Kingston, why is my credit card bill being charged $16,000 for Fortnite? What was his reason for that? Well, you know what? the conversation with him so look let me tell you my wife she is the enforcer around the house right my wife is she i mean she she runs a tight ship around here she keeps all four of my kids in line so she they went to school this is right before they uh right before school was let out so what we did was we went to the pawn shop and we went and bought a playstation they had a playstation and uh an old one for like 30 bucks so we went and bought one that looked exactly like this and we threw it in the pool and when they got home from school, when they got home from school, we hid the one that they had because they was punished. So when they got home from school, we made them go out there and look at it.
And we left it in there for like a week. And every time they would go, they would literally break down in tears.
Like, no exaggeration. I'm talking about falling out in tears, and I was loving every second of it.

That's so, so good.

All right, so let's talk a little basketball.

Do you have any idea when it's coming back?

I know you've probably been asked this a million times,

but do you have any idea when it's coming back?

And if you were Kendrick Perkins still playing,

would you be willing to go live in a biodome or a bubble to get the NBA season back? I'm depressed, right? I mean, you know, I need basketball. Like, well, I want basketball back on.
Like, I want my grandma sweet potato pies. I can't have it.
I'm on a diet. That's how bad I want basketball.
But at the end of the day, I thought I was like, for a while, every day I was waking up, I was optimistic. Like, you know, man, we got the best commissioner in sports and Adam Silver.
The NBA is going to find a way. This coronavirus is not going in.
But every day I kept waking up, I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be better in this night. So now I've come to the conclusion since we're, what, about five weeks in, I've come to the conclusion, I'm like, hold on, the coronavirus is getting worse, people are dying, and now I honestly don't see the NBA coming back this season.
It's going to be hard. Yeah.
Because guys are not able to work out right now. The only how you could get in basketball shape is playing basketball.
And you would have to have, like, two weeks of training camp, a couple of preseason games. Like, you would have to do so much to prep guys up to be able to go out there and compete at a high level.
Because just think, we were heading into the playoffs, so guys were already peaking and, you know, they were in rap form and playoff mode. Their bodies were feeling great.
They were ready. But, you know, me personally, after what happened yesterday to call Anthony Towns, mother, God rest her soul.
I couldn't see myself leaving my family right now to go and play in an isolated area or in a bubble if the NBA call. I would just, you know, no.
Because right now we got to look at what's more important. What's more important right now is your health, safety, and your family.

And as a man of the house, the provider, the protector, there's no way.

I don't care if my father-in-law here is a man of my house.

I can't leave my family during this time.

Yeah, that makes sense.

It's an honest answer.

It does because as fans, we want basketball back just as much. It's the we need.
You know, we need sports. We miss sports just like you do.
And we want sports to come back pretty much at any cost. But you have to take into account the fact that they're, you know, they're human beings that have families.
And while it might be fun to picture them playing on a cruise ship and we like to talk about these weird ways that maybe we could get sports back at the end of the day you have to remember that you know they are putting things in jeopardy by trying to do that for for our entertainment so i i agree with you on that um i had a question here about uh rudy gobert so this whole thing really the the spark that set everything off was when Rudy tested positive for coronavirus

at that Jazz game after he had touched all the microphones

and joked around about it and stuff.

Do you see Rudy being welcomed back to any locker room?

Like, hypothetically, if J.R. Smith had done something like this,

I just drew that name out of the hat randomly.

But if you had a teammate that had kind of put you in a similar position,

would that person be welcomed back into the locker room the next season?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Thank you. But if you had a teammate that had kind of put you in a similar position, would that person be welcomed back into the locker room the next season? Oh, yeah, for sure.
You got to. I mean, at the end of the day, you know, he didn't know no better.
And the thing about Rudy that I applaud him, because I was pissed off at him. But the thing that I applaud Rudy so much for is that he apologized several times, you know, maybe a hundred times.
You know, he felt really bad. He donated a lot of money to the cause.
But also on the flip side of it, Rudy, I mean, he did an immature act, but it also, you know, set the tone for the world. Like, hey, this is serious.
Let's take note to this because after the incident, then the NBA led the charge and shut down sports. And from there, it was a spiral effect.
And everyone else was like, hold on, it's time to shut down the world. So at the end of the day, Rudy was kind of like a bad guy, but he was almost like a savior.
And I wouldn't say it to that nature of Jesus Christ, but, you know, he possibly saved some lives by, you know, doing an immature act. So, I mean, it is some good that came out of it, but at the end of the the day it's not his fault because the nba we all been knowing about this coronavirus this what you know it's been brought to our attention much beforehand and to me i think us as not just the nba but the whole world dropped the ball on this and we didn't get ahead of this like we should have yeah yeah rudy gubera's jesus is an interesting analogy yeah rudy's a good defensive player he doesn't get crossed up but i do like the spin zone that he might be responsible for saving as many lives as anybody during this crisis because the 49ers that did yeah him and the 49ers and the bears for not drafting the homes.
Yes, yes. Yeah, that is an interesting spin, so I kind of like that.
But, Perk, I also think that the Perk that we knew three years ago would have come at Rudy a little bit harder. You seem like you're, like, a little kinder and gentler now.
You got some perspective on him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't say I wouldn't have told him anything about it. I definitely would have had to speak my mind and tell him, like, man, man, what the hell would you think? You know, I would have had to read him his rights.
I'm still pertinent. I'm not soft, but I'm saying eventually I would have got over it and we would have just had to rock it out.
You know, he would have still been welcome, but he would have had to hear my mouth for damn sure. Okay.
All right, so going off of that, you're still Perk. Who are you beefing with right now on Twitter? Because I feel like every time you look up, you got a new person that you're beefing with.
You know, here's the thing. I have time now since I'm retired.
When I'm not working, I have time. So if I tweet something, I check my mentions, and if I see somebody say something to me that I don't like, then, hey, I'm going to say something back to them.
So it's whoever wants to smoke because I got time. If they want to smoke, I'm bringing the fire.
Okay. All right.
I like that perspective. Now, do you ever look back on your old Twitter beefs and you're like, what was I thinking? Like, that was maybe not – like when you said Mark Jackson deserved more credit than Steve Kerr for the Warriors.
Like, that was a bad take. No, that was a great take.
That was a great take. And that was – what it was, it was facts.
And people just – sometimes people just don't like to hear the truth. Mark Jackson built that coach over there.
Mark Jackson is on record calling the Splash Brothers the Splash Brothers. He's on record talking noise, saying, hey, I got the best two shooters in the world.
Try me. Try me.
Right. See, Kurt just happened to easy stroke goal.
Right, but then they went from the sixth seed to the NBA champions in the year after that winning 73 games. So that feels like that might have had something to do with Steve Kerr.
They were destined to do that. Steph Kerr was on the rise.
Klay Thompson was on the rise. They had to get David Lee out the way so that they could get Draymond into the starting lineup.
That wasn't on Mark Jackson. Mark Jackson didn't pay David Lee 50-plus million dollars.
That's why Draymond wasn't playing. All right, so I can't move your mind off that one.
What about when you called Kevin Durant a coward, a coward's move? Are move are you still on that one yeah do y'all disagree with that not necessarily yeah probably not so that's my probably not but that's my thing that's my thing you know what i shouldn't have said that but it wasn't like i i told a lie i just said every i just i just spoke i just said what everyone else had been thinking anyway. Okay.
Right? Yeah. I mean, because think about it.
When you're considered a great, just, okay, what if LeBron James would have went join the 73-19? Yeah, no, I agree with you. So, like, what you said, I think a lot of people were thinking and had said, what about, like, Kevin Durant, his response, he basically put you in a body bag.
He toe-clipped you. He put who in a body bag? Yeah, no, that's not true.
Big Cat is misremembering this whole thing. I'm reading right here.
You said, all right, Kendra Perkins, you said, KD lost in the second round without Russ when I was there. So what that mean? And KD responded, yeah.
And our starting center, Kendrick Perkins averaged a whopping two and three during that series. You played hard though, champ.
And what did Perkins respond? He said, you got the champ thing right. Facts on the averages and facts on the champ part too.
Okay, so you owned up to it. And Doc Rivers, as he said earlier, didn't give him the chance to be a superstar.

Also, Perk does a lot of stuff that doesn't show up in the stat sheet.

I love all these because you give Perk,

you're giving us, like the people who are sitting at

home, you know, blogs to

write and things to laugh at.

It was just, I thought Kevin Durant

probably got the best of you when he had that response.

No, really, he got the best

of himself because what ended up

happening was that he

shouldn't even comment it that

Thank you. probably got the best of you when he had that response.
No, really, he got the best of himself because what ended up happening was that he shouldn't even comment it that day because it was Russell Westbrook day. But now, since we're bringing it up, I don't know if y'all had time, but I know y'all been seeing the videos of the old Celtic days, you know, 08 Celtics and stuff like that, right? Did you see the game that they showed last Thursday, game five, Eastern Conference against Detroit, when me and KG dominated the Wallace brothers? Hank is shaking his head yes.
He watched that. Okay, yeah, because before I got to Oklahoma City, I was a pretty good player.
But then when you go to a team where two players are taking 75 out of the 95 shots, it's kind of hard to average more than five points. True.
But you know what? That's easy. Heard up.
Listen, Perk, if anything, I'm learning that I love the way your brain works because you're almost like you got wins all over the place. I try to be.
I try to be. But, you know, see, you know what's crazy? It was actually a reporter from Boston who I was commenting to because I said, let's go back to that day.
I said that Russell Westbrook was the greatest player, the greatest Thunder ever. I didn't say he was the best player to ever play for the Thunder, but he's the greatest Thunder player.
Okay. You did say he was the best player to ever put on an Oklahoma City Thunder jersey.
I want to agree with this take, Perk. Can you just really quick explain to me the difference between being the greatest Thunder player and then the best Thunder player? To me, the greatest is like a person who went with the franchise, held it down, put up some great numbers.
When you hear the name Thunder, you think of this person. Yeah, you think of Russell Westbrook.
Okay. Because KD left.
He left the door open. It's no different than the Toronto Raptors.
I think Kyle Lowry is the greatest Raptor of all time, but is he the best player that ever put on a Raptors jersey? No. Okay.
But you could say that he's Mr. Raptor.
So the reporter from Boston says, I can't believe you, Perk, Russ never got out of the first round. So I said, what does that mean? KD, when he was here, he never got in the second round without Russ.
Basically, they needed each other. I wasn't shooting a slug at KD.
KD was just looking so deep into it, and he was so butthurt that Oklahoma City was giving this big

roll-in-the-red carpet out for Russell Westbrook

that he couldn't stand it.

Now, the bigger man than KD

should have been, hey, man,

congratulations to Russell Westbrook.

Hope he gets everything and more.

He deserves that great

welcoming and

OKC, blah, blah. And people

would have been like, hey, KD, man,

you all right with me. But then

Thank you. more.
He deserves that great welcome, welcoming, and OKC, blah, blah. And people would have been like, hey, KD, man, you all right with me.
But instead, he didn't take the high road. He took the low road.
But that's neat to hear it out. I mean, the way you talk these things out, I have to say you make a lot of sense.
That's what it was. I wasn't actually KD was so far on my mind.
I wasn't shooting a shot at him. I happened to go on the jump that day, and I was praising Russell Westbrook for his accomplishments.
He was going back to OKC. I knew how the Thunder felt about him.
He lead the organization in every statistical category. By the way, points, rebounds, assists, steals, games played, minutes played.
He lead he lead them in every category so how can he not be mr thunder okay yeah i agree with that now yeah like that makes me a lot of sense greatest versus best i think we can probably take that argument and put some legs through and adapt it to like any team out there now what do you think about kd now that he's uh he's able to sleep at night because he left the Warriors and now he's on the Nets do you think that's his team or do you think that's another weak move teaming up with uh with Kyrie no I think it was a great move for him not a great I think it was a good move to me uh now because to me even when KD won his championships, he still, when you see in his body, like, when you win a championship, that's like one of the best feelings in the world for us in sports. Like, I still visualize that Boston parade and everything about 08, right? And when you look at KD's face, it was just like, this is it? This is it? Like, he wasn't – he almost wasn't fulfilled.
Like, it didn't – like, it was like, this is all it is right here. And to me, with him going to the Nets, I think it's going to be his team.
It is his team. I actually think he's going to win the MVP next year.
On top of that, no matter what, KD was the best player on the Warriors. That's no debate.
The Warriors recruited the hell out of KD. We all know this.
But at the end of the day, when you think of the Warriors, still and all, who are you going to say first? Yeah, it's Steph. Yeah.
Yeah, no, you're right. So, you know, whether I would have went to the Knicks or the Knicks, I mean, that's not my decision.
KD made his decision. I'm okay with it.
But I would probably have went to the Knicks. They're still the most valuable franchise, and I would have went there and turned everything around.
I mean, but either way, I'm happy for them. Me and Kev, we all right.
We're good people. So we don't have no beef.
So, you know, I just hope that he gets healthy, which I think he is. And I got him picked to win the MVP because one thing I know about him, him being away from the game of basketball this long, is killing him.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
All right, so we got to the bottom of those two pieces. Now, the last one I had that I wanted to ask you about, when was the last time you spoke to Ray Allen? It's been about maybe a year.
So the beef, you know, with Ray and the Celtics and us, I don't have a beef with Ray. The beef was when I was gone.
I was already in Oklahoma City. But I haven't spoke to Ray.
KG is my big brother. That's who I rock with.
I don't have no hard feelings against Ray. But my loyalty is to Kevin Garnett.
And so if him and Ray decide to talk, then hey, me and Ray could be cool. Other than that, if you force me to pick sides, I'm rolling with KG all day long.
What is it about KG that made you have such a strong bond with him? Because that's my big brother. He's been loyal to me since day one, since he first came to the Celtics, and he's still loyal to me to this day.
I could call him for anything, advice. I could go to his house, just, you know, hang out with him.
We go to dinners. We talk every other day.
He's always dropping knowledge on me. We talk about our personal problems.
That is the big brother that I never had.

So, you know, my loyalty is towards KG,

and I'm rocking with him till the casket close.

What did you think about his performance in Uncut Gyms?

Good question.

I thought he did great.

That's KG, though.

He was just himself.

I thought he did great, in my opinion. I thought he did a pretty good job of doing what he do.
He was KG. He was able to be himself.
And, you know, I thought he did an excellent job. I really did.
Who do you think would have won the title this year if they had actually finished the season? Let's hope they still do, but who would have been your pick? The Lakers. Yeah.
The Lakers were peaking at the right time. Bron was on his way of challenging Giannis, in my eyes, to winning the MVP.
They have the best duo in the league since Kobe and Shaq and Anthony Davis and LeBron James. And most importantly, the role players on that team were starting to be stars in that role.
Guys like Avery Bradley, JaVale McGee, Caldwell Polk started playing better. Danny Green, Kyle Kuzma was signing his niche.
And then let's not even talk of the resurrection of the White Howard, a straight monster. And, you know, a lot of people don't give Frank Vogel credit, but Frank Vogel used to have those Indiana Pacers really battling out with the Miami Heat.
And Jay Kidd over there on the bench. Phil Handy, who is the best player development guy in the NBA, hands down.
There's no question about it. But I thought LeBron James and Anthony Davis were on the mission.
They were peaking at the right time. They were playing beautiful basketball.
And adding the Morris twin from Detroit was huge for them. And Deion Waiters was huge for them.
Because one thing about it, you always want to have a deep team. And here's why.
Everyone is not going to have minutes, but you want to keep pressure on your road guys to perform. Like when I was with the Celtics, I knew if I didn't go out there and do what I needed to do and do my job, I always had to look over my shoulder at P.J.
Brown, Leon Poe, a big baby. And you want to keep that pressure because it holds guys accountable.
Yeah. One name you didn't bring up there was your guy Rajon Rondo.
Trouble in paradise between you guys? No, no, no. We all good.
Rondo is Rondo. You know how playoff Rondo is.
Things don't have to be said. See, the thing about the Lakers is everybody that's in the NBA, they have the most experience, playoff experience, championship pedigree.
When you look at their roster, JaVale McGee champion, Brian James champion, Quinn Cook champion, Wando champion, Danny Green champion, Dwight Howard took a team to the finals. They are really, really experienced, battle-tested, and that's why I had the Lakers to win the championship this year.
I saw your comments today. I'm a Bulls fan, and you said that Boylan's got to be next, and I couldn't agree more because I don't think he was qualified to be a head coach to begin with.
My question, though, is more about the front office and the perception around the league that players have about the Bulls. How long will it take for free agents to be like, hey, this isn't just a completely dysfunctional franchise, and how long will that take hold with guys? Because I know everyone talks in the NBA, and that's been something that's talked about where guys are like, hey, the Bulls don't know what they're doing.
Why would anyone go there? Well, the thing is that they could change it. It could be overnight if they have the right coach.
If they have the right coach, it could be overnight. It could be an instant change.
All of a sudden, you're like, hold on. They got this coach over here.
I want to go play for him. I like this talent.
I like the way that they're running things. You know, it could be changed overnight.
Or it could stay the way it is with the wrong hire. So you could keep Jim Boylan or you could hire the wrong coach and you could still be right here treading water.
Or you could, you know, get you the right coach in there, change the culture, and you could be, you know, in the Bahamas snorkeling looking at colorful fish. You know who's available? Mark Jackson.
Who is that? No, I don't want Mark Jackson. You know, in my mind, I was know in my mind I was thinking Mark Jackson

I was thinking Mark Jackson

Sam Cassell

I would love to see Sam Cassell

get his first shot

I was even thinking of Damon

Stoudemire

he did a great job at Pacific

even Ty Luce

and here's the thing

you gotta bring

it's a different type

it's not like old school no more

Like,

Thank you. Pacific, even Ty Lucey.
And here's the thing. You got to bring – it's a different type.
It's not like old school no more. Like, these old school coaches are coming extinct.
Like, guys, it's a player's league. You got Adam Silver.
He's a player's commissioner. You know, like, think about it.
Like, guys, we have a fashion week in the NBA. Guys are able to wear a different fashion.
God rest his soul. When David Stern was in office, we had a rule.
We had to start wearing suit and ties. Adam Silver changed all that up.
So now as coaches, you have to change also. You got to get young blood in there that can relate to guys that you got to understand that you might walk in at halftime and a guy might be on Twitter or Instagram looking at a highlight that they just done.
That's just the nature of it. And you got to be able to understand that.
So you got to get guys in there that's going to understand the players, that's going to have the players ready to run through a wall for them and buy into their system. So to me, you got to go young.
I almost think that Greg Pop time is almost up. You know, as great of a job as he's done.
But, you know, at some point we all run our course. And, you know, maybe it's time for new change over there with the Spurs.
Yeah. What about Coach Perk? Are you interested in getting on that side of it? No, no, no.
I'm loving this media too much. You know why? Because I could just sit back.
I could watch the games from home or in my hotel room. I'm already a huge fan of basketball.
And I could just go on television and talk my shit about hoops. I don't have to spend all those long hours, a guy calling

me at 11.30 midnight,

11.30 at night or

midnight telling me they want to go to

the gym and get extra shots and I

gotta go. No, no, I ain't doing nothing.

Right now, I'm really, really

cool right where I'm at.

Alright, I want to flash back real quick to 2008

to wheelchair gate.

Paul Pierce gets injured. He gets taken off the court in a wheelchair later on what 13 14 15 years later he says that the real reason he got wheeled off in that game I think it was game one right of the NBA finals uh he says the real reason he got wheeled off was because he shit himself you were were there.
Was there any inkling? Did you know that Paul Pierce had just doo-dooed in his pants, or did you think he was injured? I knew after the game. I didn't know during the time of the injury, but I knew after the game.
By the way, that was a clever-ass trick, he called. Like, whoever would have thought of that, right? Like, he couldn't just call a timeout and go run off the court.

So, like, that was a clever idea with Paul.

Paul was just like his game.

Paul, the way he goes about life and the way he thinks is just how he plays.

He got a lot of deceptives in his game and in life.

So, you never know what Paul is thinking.

But that was really, really clever. Because I don't know if it would have happened to me, I don't know how it would have happened to this situation.
And I think that was during the time, and I think that was during the time when we was wearing white tights too. Ooh, James Harden himself.
White tights. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. You know what we're saying.
Yeah. All right, I got one last, not even a question, but a statement, Perkin.
This has been awesome. You are now, by the way, a recurring guest.
So whenever we want you on to talk NBA, you're legally obligated to call in, just so you know. So.
No problem. Okay.
Perfect. Perfect.
All right. So I want to clear the air here.
I have some old tweets about you. I'm going to just read one of them.
On May 7, 2014, I don't know what – I think that was Clippers Thunder. I tweeted, I'd be as mad as Kendrick Perkins too if my hands flat out refused to work.
So I don't even know what that was in relation to. I don't know what you did, but it sounds like your hands weren't working that night.
So I just want to – now that our relationship has started here, I want to be open with you. Wow, that was you.
I remember that tweet. You know what? You know, in my mind, I was like, I wonder if I cost somebody some money for the game.
I wonder if this guy was betting on the game. Yes.
Yeah. My apologies.
Yes. I mean, in my defense, you do have to realize, like, when you're playing, when I was playing with that young Oklahoma City Thunder team, they weren't passing the ball that often.
So, you didn't never know when you was going to get a pass. It probably wasn't that my hands weren't working, but I probably was just shocked that the ball actually got passed.
That's a good point. Obviously, I'm not comparing playing stupid pickup games on Saturday morning in the NBA, but I get passes sometimes and they go right off my hands because I'm like, I never expected anyone to want me to shoot the ball here.
Well, you actually, hold on, you had eight points that game. So I was, you know what? I was wrong.
You had eight points that game. I'm looking it up right now.
You had eight points in 25 minutes played and nine rebounds. So hand up, I was wrong.
You must have been, I must have been on the Thunder, and at some moment you were like, you pissed me off, and I was like, what the fuck's going on? It's okay. It's okay.
okay i mean it's cool you know i understand because if you especially if you had money on the game man you know and you and i probably did some dumb shit look i'm not listen i'm not shying away that i had a couple of bloopers in my in my career that probably would have pissed a lot of people But hopefully I made made you more money than i i i lost i i you know then you lost probably well no because i'm a terrible gambler but you tried so that's not on you okay that's on me yeah yeah yeah that's i'm not putting that one on you at all all right well i appreciate it yeah um all right well perk thank lot of fun. It's been great.
We really appreciate it. And hopefully basketball comes back so that we can have you back on.
And tweet out some more highlights of Stone when he gets back on the court because I watched that clip and he is an absolute beast. Okay, will do, will do.
He in training right now, but I got you. I'm going to tweet some more.
But I appreciate it,'all y'all keep doing y'all thing man really real talk much respect much love i love what y'all doing i really appreciate y'all having me on all right thanks so much perk appreciate it man oh i have a good one you too see you man that interview with perk was brought to you by our great friends at MeUndies. I love my MeUndies.
I'm wearing a pair as we speak. It's the only underwear I wear.
That's the truth. That's not me saying this because some company told me to put it in an ad read.
It's the only type of underwear that I wear. It's my mugsy jeans.
And then underneath that, I've always got on my MeUndies. Yep, it's spring cleaning time.
and that's the thing. And if you're not doing it, you should, especially with your underwear drawer.
End your relationship with toxic, old, tattered undies. Move on to a membership with the softest undies to ever grace your nethers.
It's a new start for spring. If you're thinking why you would ever need an undie membership, honestly, because it's fun.
It's an easy way to give your future self a present every single month. A membership with MeUndies is full of perks like site-wide savings, early access, free shipping, and new ridiculously soft undies delivered to your door each month.
In times like this, you know what we need? We all need small things to put a smile on our face. One of the small things I look forward to every single time is putting on a fresh new pair of MeUndies after they arrive in the mail.
It puts a smile on my face every time. That's a promise.
MeUndies are made with micromodal. You might be thinking, what the heck is that? Well, it's a magical, sustainable, soft as heck fabric made from trees.
Yep, they're made from trees, and it makes your bits feel like they're floating on a cloud. They're offered in a range of sizes from extra small to 4XL, And they've got a great offer for my listeners.
Any first time purchasers, you get 15% off and free shipping. It's no brainer, especially because they have 100% satisfaction guarantee.
To get 15% off that first order, you get free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee. All you have to do is go to MeUndies.com slash take.
That's MeUndies.com slash take. Okay, let's get some segments.
And we got our Mount Flushmore. First segment we have is Bad Sports Town.
Wait, what is it? Taiwan? Yeah, the island nation of Taiwan. Bad Sports Town.
They got baseball started again in Taiwan. Good Sports Town.
But they've got fans that are all cardboard cutouts. Bad sports town.
Bad sports town. That's actually...
They can't leave early. Yeah, they can't.
And also don't have to worry about foul balls hitting them. So you've actually talked me into Taiwan being a good sports town.
Yeah. I actually think that if we go, by all accounts, we're going to go to a system where there won't be fans, I'd be cool with filling the seats with anything and then piping in fake, fake noise.
Dogs. Dogs.
No, no, because you need owners for dogs. What if it's just free play dogs? Free play dogs would be good.
Maybe stuffed animals. What about this idea? You just, you put a tarp down over all the seats and it's a green screen.
And so then you can overlay all the best fans from seasons past doing things like catching foul balls, drinking their beer out of the foul ball cup. Yes.
Just an all-star reel of fans. They do need to rethink it because it can't just be no fans.
Only Marlinsman is allowed to attend games. Did you see Marlinsman is finally – what did he have to tweet the other day? He's like, we need to – he's still pushing that 9-11 should be first responders day everywhere.
Like in the middle of a pandemic. He's not getting off of his – and I actually agree with him.
I don't know if right now is the right time, but I agree with him. There should be a day.
Yeah, absolutely. I agree with that.
It should be 9-11. No, I haven't seen him in a while.
They're telling you to stay away from your parents in times like this. All right, let do our mount flushmore uh pft you have the first pick so it's i do places to be drunk okay bubba you okay you're coughing again places to be drunk okay mount flushmore hank you got a lot of heat and it's best places to be drunk the mount flushmore best places to be drunk no wait no meaning the worst places to be drunk.
The Mount Flushmore best places to be drunk. No, we're picking the worst places to be drunk.
You were mistaken on the last show. You thought that it was the best.
I was dead on. Shout out to everyone that's reached out and supported me.
It's the Mount Flushmore places to be drunk. Okay.
The Mount Flushmore places to be drunk would be the best places. Mount Flushmore would be the worst.
Yep. Okay.
My number one, work. Ooh.
Work. Okay.
When you accidentally accidentally get called in you don't know that you're gonna have to work you don't maybe you've had too much to drink the night before and you show up still drunk uh it can seem fun maybe at the moment but the second you have to do real work and you know that you're getting caught it's just anxiety city what about a bartender that okay fun only time only time it's it's okay but i agree with you there uh all right my first

pick will be behind the wheel of a car. That is definitely the worst place to be drunk.
Okay. Yeah.
Agreed. You don't want to be behind the wheel of a car when you're drunk.
Okay. I think we can all agree.
Are you guys going to speak out against drunk driving? I've never experienced it, but I hear that it's bad. Are you going to speak out against drunk driving? I, too, have drunk driving i too have never experienced okay all right good we'll speak out against it uh my number one i'll go with i had in your car on the way to work i feel like that's too close to what you guys both said i won't say that i will go with church okay well what if you just like taking sacrament too many times blood of jesus it's one house you're the biggest lightweight of all time and you're an embarrassment and therefore you're total verge you should not be i've never taken uh and then my second one i will go in a long line for the bathroom oh good one hey you're back baby you are back i had never left okay well you had kind of left um all right uh have you ever just given up in a line and just said fuck it and pissed yourself no but i've definitely made some decisions where it's like you wouldn't pee in public in other situations but you're like i this is coming out i'm just gonna do what i can and hope i don't get a public arrest um all right like you accept the charge before you pee like i'm probably i'm acknowledging the fact that i, like, a public display of drunkenness, but I don't care.
Worth it. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Mine will be... Or just go in the women's bathroom.
My next one... Oh, I mean, that's a no-brainer.
Mine will be with your... We'll use it for guys and girls, your significant other's family for the first time.
The worst. You do not want to be that guy to be drunk with your significant other's parents if they're drunk though still don't want to be that guy or girl because you will 100 or it's a bonding experience it's got to happen sometimes further down the line i think it's okay it's actually great further down the line as you come closer once it's established there's nowhere to go but up if you fuck up.
No. I think you then become the drunk guy forever.

Yep.

And it's like Ryan Howard starting the fire.

Fire guy.

You don't want to be fire guy.

Okay.

My second pick is going to be jail.

Jail would be bad.

It's going to be in jail.

Although, Hank, no, you weren't drunk in jail.

No.

I've been drunk in jail.

Would you wish you were drunk in jail? I have been drunk in jail, though, a different time. Okay.
I got arrested for the non-drunk time. Okay.
So there we go. Being drunk in jail sucks.
I got arrested for internal possession of alcohol. No big deal.
Nice. Internal possession.
Yeah. I was under 21, and I was basically arrested for drinking beer.
Yeah. Bullshit.
There's like one toilet in the middle of the room. Fucking amazing.
So yeah, And if you're drunk, you have to hit that several times. You get confused.
You wake up a couple times during the night and you forget that you're in jail. That's a bad feeling.
Yeah. Waking up still drunk in prison.
Yes. My next one is going to be in class.
So I think a lot of people out there have done it. I know I have where you show up to class, whether it's like senior year of high school, in college, you've had some day drinking going on.
You're in full fuck it mode. Seems like it'd be fine at the time.
Might be funny. And then class starts and you just think everybody here knows that I'm drunk.
Yes. And then also you have to pee again.
You have to get up several times to go pee. And then everybody does know.
They always know. Yes.
They always know. Always, always know yes they always always always know they

always always know um all right uh how about uh in the back seat of a long cab ride fucking worst when you're just hammered and you're just getting that like okay now i'm starting to get the spins and i feel like shit and i just want to get home that sucks cab ride at the end of the night oh And there's probably no truth to this.

It always feels longer.

But if you're in a yellow cab or an actual... and I just want to get home, that sucks.
Cab right at the end of the night. And there's probably no truth to this.

It always feels longer.

But if you're in a yellow cab or an actual taxi cab,

it always feels worse than if you're in a Lyft or an Uber.

Especially like a summer when you're like in a hot,

back of a hot cab with no AC.

Everything's hard in there.

Sweating drunk is the worst feeling.

Yeah, you're bouncing off doors.

All right, your last two, Hank. In in your parents car when you're underage yep so like if you were like drinking and then you're like all right i'm gonna i'm gonna get picked up but like you have to try and pretend like you're not drunk and you're sitting there like the whole time just hoping they don't ask you questions or you're like that's the worst feeling like i just got to get home yeah and then maybe i can get away with this, and you never do.
And then my last one, I had jail. I will go with the gym.
Ooh, good one. Drunk in the gym.
Drunk in the gym sucks. That's how injuries happen.
What if you're having protein, though? That's true. Well, that could be one of the side effects that I don't think we've really developed.
There's nothing worse than when you're really drunk and you're like, I'm going to play this sport. I'm going to shoot some hoops, and then you're just sweaty, exhausted, and feel like you want to puke after four seconds.
And you're really drunk and you're like i'm gonna play this sport like i'm gonna shoot some hoops and then you're just sweaty exhausted and feel like you want to puke after four seconds and you're terrible at counterpoint on the golf course golf course not really a sport true um although sports are back all right my last one will be an a meeting you don't want to be drunk there that's a really bad place to be drunk true so all right your one? My last one is going to be right before you have sex. Although- Is this going to work? No, I think sometimes it's like, dude, I'm about to be a stallion.
Is it going to work? Yeah, I think it's stallion time. I mean, you guys got mad at me for fried pickles.
That's the worst pick I've ever heard. What, right before? While you're having sex, great.
No, I think right before you feel drunk, you don't have the anxiety. Yeah, you don't know if it's not going to work yet.
In that moment, you don't. I'm just going to go for it.
I think it would be. Yeah.
You don't have those reservations or deaths. Yeah, it's true.
Sometimes you think about it. That's a good point.
Bad pick, PFT. It's not mine.
This is just like what people would say. Bad pick, PFT.
Oh, so you're pandering. No, I'm just saying in general when you think of bad places.

So is it your pick or what you think people

would pick? I pandered with the last pick.

All the other ones were my idea.

I had the only other ones I had

were, I mean, with your boss,

but that's kind of at work. Can I substitute my last

pick? No. It's like chess.

Why don't you take your hand off the move?

With your boss is bad, but that's kind of at work and then uh being in in a subway system sucks that's drunk because you also feels like it takes forever and you can get confused very easily you get seasick yeah oh a boat wouldn't be bad boats not yeah although being drunk on a boat yeah i had uh my my other one here was a big grocery. Just like wandering around the aisles and not really knowing where you're going.
Yeah. Grocery store.
Although that can be fun, too, when you get on the cart and you go a little crazy. Rollercoaster.
Rollercoaster sucks to be drunk on. On a median in Indianapolis with a bag full of drugs and cash.
Yeah, who's that? Oh oh that was jim mercy um how about what do you guys think about uh laying down in bed at night when you're like really drunk and you're like fuck this is like nothing that i i can't do anything like it's almost it's almost like the next moment you're gonna have is either gonna be puking or waking up violently hung over yeah that's a that's a that's a feeling that kind of sucks although i think it comes after a lot of shitty things so it's probably a relief what about when the cops come yeah well that's a rust of adrenaline so you kind of get undrunk for a second like i got this yeah it would actually be when you successfully evade the cops and your adrenaline dies down that's a shitty drunk because you're like damn it now i'm out of breath and want to puke yep um right after a tequila shot it's a bad bad feeling when you're really drunk and you take a tequila shot yeah yeah that's a bad feeling i used to have a problem for like a few years it doesn't happen anymore although i don't take shots much anymore but i would when i was really drunk and i would drink tequila, it was like a sign, like, you're too drunk. It would literally come straight out my nose.
But that's a bad place to be drunk when someone orders a round of tequila. That's a bad place to be drunk, like already really drunk.
Getting off a plane. Yeah.
Being on a plane drunk is sweet. I think there's that element, though, like you can't get too drunk on a plane because then it really starts to suck.
Like if you get. Oh, yeah.
I agree with that. Yeah.
I agree with that. Yeah.
Like a nice light buzz is a great thing to have on a plane. Oh, like really getting drunk.
Like if you've had a few in the airport and you have a few on the plane and you have that moment like, fuck, I'm actually really drunk. There's something about being on a plane that makes people more violent and like more.
You caged animal yeah yeah exactly that must be what it is because you always hear these stories people like just trying to fight stewardesses and flight attendants and stuff and i don't think that those same people would fight a random bouncer in a bar but for some reason they're on a plane they want to fight everybody you know what's crazy to think about i thought about this earlier today we are in the midst of the longest stretch we will ever have probably in our adult lives that we won't be on a plane might be true love it whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah hank remember when you couldn't fly yeah you florio yeah florida's loving this time total florio that's what they call it for people who are scared of flying it's a florio he pulled a florio dude john madden. John Madden, too.
People don't remember this, but John Madden used to have to take an RV across the country to every game he was calling. Little Giants taught me that.
All right. Let's do Guys on Chicks.
Before we do that, remember, watch The Scheme on HBO. We're going to do a review, and we also have Christian Dawkins on the show on Friday.
So watch that. We're going to do a review of it.
It's an interesting story about the NCAA investigation and basically the 2017 Rick Pitino, all that stuff, Arizona. So watch that.
Hank, guys on chicks, we'll finish off our Wednesday tax day, no tax day show. What's up, Mr.
351D Duggerton and Honk? My ex-boyfriend one and a half years and i are both still in our college town during this quarantine we broke up two weeks ago but are still hanging together as friends with benefits last night broken up one of his friends found my tinder and sent it to him he confronted me and said he doesn't want me to be on tinder while we're still hooking up i think it shouldn't matter to him especially since it's not like i can just leave and hook up with any of them but he he wants me to delete it. Who's right? I mean, you can just say it's just during the quarantine.
Say it's a catfish. Yeah.
You can't go try to hook up with somebody right now. The thing about quarantine is if you've made contact with somebody at any point in that quarantine, you almost have to hang out only with that person.
It's like Caleb, our friend Caleb, who's basically being bullied by a bunch of teenagers right now. Yeah.
so this guy just kind of entrapped you into a relationship. I feel like, yeah, go ahead and set up dates for the second this thing is over.
All right, well, that leads into our next question. This girl I've always had a thing for recently messaged me, but she currently lives over 300 miles away.
With quarantine season in full effect, there's no possible way to go and visit her or hang out in a person. Is it worth texting facetiming constantly knowing that nothing will come from it for several months or my blue balling myself thanks guys cyber the long game how ever heard of cyber sex that too yeah cyber it what what would you do if i were there right now how wet are you these kind of girls love that i'm getting there i bet picture myself going going switching back and forth between my tongue and my penis in your clit just say promise promise not to share this picture with anybody and then just wait for her response and this guy's acting like he has something better to do right that's true like what are you gonna do dude like just might as well this actually is when this is over.
This is the perfect time to just put in a shitload of game. And then when you come out, you're going to be the guy who is simping her all along the way.
Then you can come out and be like, oh, well, you know, that was quarantine me. I decided to change myself once quarantine was over.
Like, sorry, that was the old me. Yeah, quarantine me.
There's so many excuses built into this quarantine ending. I was just going insane because I hadn't had cyber sex with anybody yet.
I know some guys that allow their ladies to use vibrators. Are they insecure? Or that don't allow their ladies to use vibrators.
Are they insecure because they don't think they can compete with the vibrator and may not get her off? Yes. Yeah, extremely insecure.
Yeah, no, that's... Listen, you should be happy that there's less work that you have to do.
Right. The vibrator is like a great closer.
Call that fucking righty in. Throwing 102.
Gassing people. You should carry one with you in your backpack at all times just in case.
All you need to worry about is getting a quality start. Six innings, three earned runs.
Then you go to the bullpen. You sound like somebody who is afraid of a machine taking your job, And you need to worry about is getting a quality start six innings three earned runs then you go to the then you go to the bullpen you sound like somebody who is afraid of a machine taking your job and you need to learn to embrace the machines yes sup Leroy coach dugs and private honk my boyfriend and I have been distanced for quite some time during quarantine we spent a lot of time together on facetime but most of the calls consist of me watching the screen frustrated while he plays call of duty with the boys I I finally got fed up with how he ignores me, so while I thought he was listening to the game, I ranted at him and told him how big of a dick he was being and how I was even questioning our relationship.
Turns out he had one side of his headset off so he could listen to me and heard every bit of it. What can I do to make up for it? Sounds like you were just saying how you felt.
Yeah, it sounds like you just said what you felt. Yeah, you were just sharing your experiences with him and that you're let down by him because he's making you watch a live stream of him playing call it dude i think you accidentally just fell into like a good relationship with open communication yeah i asked i accidentally told my boyfriend how i really feel what should i do i accidentally expressed what i what i felt in terms of anger about my boyfriend or i need from him in this relationship yeah i really beefed that one up why are you just joining his twitch stream yeah just tell him to do f in the stream i have been trying to get my girlfriend to be like hey call of duty like it's fun like watch like how and there's just not even like the slightest yeah bit of hint of interest like anything like it's just if i'm playing call of duty like i might as well be like in another planet you should just like write F on a piece of paper and hold it up to your camera as he's playing Call of Duty yes like way to fuck that up dude or get really good at it yeah get really good and beat him beat his ass if you beat him then he'll stop they'd love it alright last one it's hard for me to imagine that this is true my fiance and i had to postpone our wedding because of the rona we moved it to halloween this year have any of you ever been to a halloween wedding people want to dress up we're for it but we got to make sure we have the best costumes at our own wedding oh my god what should we be dumb and dumber if you're always plays you're getting married at your own wedding I don't have you ever been to a Halloween wedding?

I have not

that's wild

it sounds like it might be fun though

I can't be like

there's no way

what day of the week is Halloween?

let's figure this out

it's gotta be a Saturday this year right?

or Friday

that's I guess how we can figure out

you should go as

as Joffrey

yeah Saturday night

wow it's true

go as Joffrey and Sansa

no go as

and then kill her dad

no go as Cersei and

what's his name?

Jaime

Jaime yeah

brother sister

Yeah, just... it's true goes joffrey and sansa no go and then kill her dad no goes cersei and uh what's his name jamie jamie yeah brother sister yeah just send out some really creepy vibes this is an alabama wedding no you should go as like um do something really funny like he should go you should go as like the horse and he goes as the ass that's pretty good like gallop in uh-huh oh you're fucked though like this is weird i can't imagine a halloween i think okay here's what you do all right hold on i would jokingly suggest that i go as the bride and you go as the groom and then haha won't that be fun i'm gonna dress again um here's what you actually do this is actually a practical solution for you you do like uh you tell everyone you're gonna dress up classy so suits maybe even black tie and then do the masks from eyes wide shut fidelio it's just a big orgy fuck time yeah but that you know like those masks that like you can have everyone do like really cool masks but at least yeah they look they look normal yeah or you can go you can just have like the tux and the wedding dress.
Tell everybody in attendance, we're not dressed, nobody's dressing up for this. And then you just have tearaway pants and tearaway shirts.
And boom, underneath you dress up like a basketball team. Just think about this right now.
Before you let everyone dress up at your wedding, just ask yourself this simple question. How many Joe Exotics do I want at my wedding? Because right now you probably got five.
You probably got five Joe Exotics. You probably got three Carole Baskins and maybe even throw a Jeff Lowe.
Like, you're fucked. So that's going to be the thing everyone's wearing.
That's what they should do, the Carole Baskin with the guy on the leash. Oh, the simp leash.
Yeah, that's pretty good. And then you have somebody that built a sea dew around their body and they go, it's James.
If you got live live tigers, this actually would be pretty sick. Maybe just do the whole wedding at Doc Antle's place.
And then you can just marry Doc Antle and be one of his 16 wives. Well, I was going to say just marry all of his wives.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, we gave you enough solutions. Tell us how it goes.
Actually, invite us. We won't go.
No, we'll send Bubba. That would be funny.
Go as... Bubba, that'd be funny.

Go as Hyman Roth and Donna Gruden.

Yeah.

Yeah, do that.

Do that.

All right.

We'll see everyone on Friday.

Love you guys. I'm talking away.

I don't know what to say.

I'd say it anyway.

Today is another day to find you Shine

I'm coming for your love of grace

Needless to say

I'm setting

But it's so let it wait

It's not a little

Life is okay

Say after me

It's no better to be safe than sorry

Say after me