Mark Titus, Mt Flushmore Of Things We’re Elite At, Plus We Watched A Horrible Tony Danza Movie

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Sweaters and denim for casual plans, party dresses for nights out, and comfy matching sets for everything in between. Keep the chaos cute this season in Abercrombie.

Speaker 2 Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores.

Speaker 3 On today's part of my take, we have our very good friend, longtime recurring guest, maybe like the third or fourth recurring guest ever.

Speaker 3 It is Mark Titus, Club Trillion. He is here to talk about March Madness.
What a great March Madness it was. No, seriously, we're going to catch up with him.
Awesome time.

Speaker 3 We talk about what March Madness would have been and then we did a mount flushmores with him mount flushmore of things that you are uh elite at being bad at so it's kind of the opposite hank is literally dying he's eating something that's too hot he it is the opposite of what we did in the summer where we're things we think we're sneaky elite at then hank is dead know the heimlick maneuver hank is dead we did him on the bads why did you think this was a good time to start eating when we started the show i was just eating food was passed to me and i could not help myself.

Speaker 5 I figured I'd get a quick roll-in as the ad one.

Speaker 1 That was a mistake.

Speaker 3 All right, so we have that, we have Firefest, we have

Speaker 3 a board idea, we have a King Steak Kings, and we have our movie review. One of the weirdest, funniest.

Speaker 1 I can't believe they made this movie, movie reviews we've had. I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 6 Get Uber One for Students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Speaker 6 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the swamp work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Eli Shrek.
I've been new.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elaine Trick IV.

Speaker 1 And then we

Speaker 1 can higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 3 Go download it right now. Use code Barstool.
You get $10

Speaker 3 off for free. $10 to ASPCA.
Today is Friday, April 10th. Boys, little snaps for the boys.
We're a third of the way through April.

Speaker 1 We're a third of the way through April.

Speaker 3 I've actually been having this debate all week.

Speaker 3 Do we...

Speaker 3 The Apex. Let's talk Apex real quick.
The Apex.

Speaker 3 Okay. That doesn't seem like...

Speaker 4 What is is the apex?

Speaker 3 Okay, so the apex of the coronavirus in New York City is supposed to have happened either yesterday or today.

Speaker 3 Now, it seems like a good thing that we could maybe be on the other side of the curve, but I don't think you want to cheer the apex. Kind of an awkward spot.

Speaker 4 Right, because tomorrow is going to be just as bad as the day before yesterday was.

Speaker 3 Right. If the apex is today.

Speaker 4 So yeah, you don't want to cheer it yet. We're like, we're cresting a mountain, but you don't get the difference is you don't get to like coast down this mountain.

Speaker 4 It's not like you biked up and now it was hard for the last, you know, two, three weeks, and now it's going to be easy as we just take our foot off the gas or off the brake, whatever you want to say.

Speaker 4 It's going to be tough for the next couple weeks, but at least it's not March anymore because March was March was awful.

Speaker 4 March was awful. You cannot convince me that March is normally 31 days.
That's bullshit.

Speaker 4 March is usually 30, and this year it was 31, just to like twist that knife and to be like, there's no basketball, there's nothing going on. You're sitting at home here.
Have some more march.

Speaker 3 Here's my issue with the apex. I hope that the apex, we've reached the apex.
We're at the top of the mountain. It's like, hey, let's go.
Let's go on down. Let's go on down slow.
Let's go on down.

Speaker 3 Let's go home. Maybe, you know, grab a hot dog, a cold one.
We've had a long, you know, trip, trip. We had a chewy bar up top, but otherwise we're pretty hungry.

Speaker 3 My problem is I think we've got we're like if we get to the apex and then we notice that like wait there's like six more apexes that we just didn't even see there And

Speaker 3 the UFC, the UFC canceling their next pay-per-view is making me scared. And I know that the powers at B were like ESPN and Disney basically said, you can't do this, Dana White.

Speaker 3 They got pressure from California. All that shit came down on him.
But Dana White, when Dana White has to adhere to the rules, makes me a little nervous. And...

Speaker 3 And the other news that made me a little nervous, but we'll see.

Speaker 3 Brian Winhorse coming out and saying that the NBA basically reprimanded him for being negative about the prospects of finishing this season.

Speaker 3 That also feels like a scared tactic, like, hey, we probably are going to cancel it, but shut up, shut your face, and don't say it until we get to like summertime and people won't be as bumped.

Speaker 4 Yeah, when Dana White gets put in check, he's like, you know, he's a barking dog, and you love having a rowdy barking dog.

Speaker 4 And he had the shot collar treatment where like he barked a little bit too loud and drew the attention of the United States Senate. And at that point, he was like, okay, I can't do Fight Island.

Speaker 4 But he did say, he did say Fight Island is being built right now. So he's not backing down from the Fight Island idea.

Speaker 4 If anything, he's probably putting more resources into Fight Island, which, by the way, it better be a fucking island if it's being advertised as Fight Island.

Speaker 4 I don't want it to be like a cruise ship. I don't want it to be an isthmus or a peninsula.

Speaker 4 I want it to be a fucking island in international waters where John Bones Jones can fight because he's not being chased by the police there.

Speaker 4 I want it to be a legitimate sovereign like nation that Dana White owns, where the only rule, the only law is there are no laws, no fishing. That's the only law.

Speaker 3 It's it's probably going to be like at the exact same spot where Fire Fest was held, like on that little strip that was outside of the hotels and stuff. It's probably going to be right there.

Speaker 4 Probably. They could just, you know what they should do?

Speaker 4 Just get like real low-tech with it, rent a truck, and just like build a build a small temporary octagon in the back of a moving truck or an 18-wheeler and just drive around and have the fights inside.

Speaker 3 How wide do you think trucks are?

Speaker 4 Get a double-wide. Boom.
Problem solved.

Speaker 4 Get a trailer, put it on wheels, drive it around, and then just like challenge the police to find you. Be like, you want to stop my fight? First, you got to find me.

Speaker 4 They won't know what state to charge you in if you're constantly crossing the boundaries.

Speaker 3 So we have that news. And then, but here's the positive news.

Speaker 4 PFD had the idea on Wednesday, and we're going to make it a full-blown idea where it's something we're going to put our resources and minds behind the uh charity bike tour of manhattan to help podcasts gain back the listeners they've lost during this recession is that what loose type yeah so yeah that's that's approximately what we're going for here but the real i want to stress this this is not a charity for pardon my take we're doing this because we're trying to help the industry you know they say as iron sharpens iron as does one podcast sharpen another and the fact is the industry as a whole is down we're still doing fine we're doing actually probably better than we have ever been we're good but it's almost like it's depressing for us like i want i want more competition i want to help out those when they're down you remember when um

Speaker 4 when bill gates bailed out steve jobs

Speaker 4 like way back in the day when steve jobs ran out of money i'm trying to help out our competition so i think what we're going to do I think Big Cat and I are going to ride on a tandem bike

Speaker 4 around the entire island of Manhattan together, Rex and Rob Bryan style. And what we're going to do is we're going to open up the ratings section on part of my take for a short period of time.

Speaker 4 And if you rate us with five stars, leave in the comment section a recommendation of any podcast that you want us to promote.

Speaker 4 If it's your podcast, if it's a podcast that you're listening to, a competitor's, and we'll have Jake Marsh do like little mini ad reads. They'll read your reviews.

Speaker 4 They'll read your recommendations live on the Twitch stream and on the Instagram live channel so we can promote other podcasts because a rising tide lifts all boats. Right.

Speaker 3 And Hank is going to be on his electric skateboard. No?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 I think you're going to be on the bike. You're going to be on a bike.

Speaker 1 I'll bike.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 5 it's hard. I can't film riding a bike.
I can film riding the skateboard. What are you talking about?

Speaker 3 You can put a camera on your bike.

Speaker 3 And you can basically be the oppo cam where you just go like in and out, like showing us like from different angles.

Speaker 3 That's what I that's the plan for the skateboard, but but your skateboard only lasts for 30 minutes, so you're gonna bail.

Speaker 5 It lasts, no, it lasts like an hour and a half.

Speaker 3 Okay, so we'll do an hour and a half bike ride in Manhattan.

Speaker 4 Well, it's gonna be a 31-mile bike ride, so

Speaker 3 that's a little too much.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it is a little too much. But guess what, big cat? We're not doing this for us, we're doing this for podcasts.

Speaker 3 And then, what about Bubba? What's he gonna do? He's got a bike,

Speaker 4 Bubba's. I don't know, Bubba strikes me as as like a BMX guy or like a motocross guy.

Speaker 3 I want Hank along for the whole ride. He can't, I know what he's going to do.
He's going to, you got your skateboard and then, yeah.

Speaker 4 Bubba, how many, how many Fox sweatshirts do you own or like monster energy drink hats?

Speaker 3 Oh, Bubba, can we get you on one of those like, yeah, the little mini dirt bikes?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 The tiny ones? Ooh, yeah, like

Speaker 4 they rode around in

Speaker 4 the new Rocky movie.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you would crash that and break your pelvis like instantly. We'd probably just, the whole charity drive would just be us at the fucking cruise ship hospital just hanging out.

Speaker 3 We're here with Bubba.

Speaker 4 Isn't that what Meek Mill got arrested for?

Speaker 3 Yeah, something like that. Well, he's on probation.
A lot of things, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that'd be probation on that.

Speaker 4 That'd be good for Bubba's clout, though. Like, you and Meek Mill.
The owner of the 76ers would come have to, like, bail you out.

Speaker 3 So fund around you. Okay, so we're going to do it on a Friday.
And it's going to be one of the next two Fridays. I don't know if it's going to be next Friday.
I think we need to

Speaker 3 actually see how the weather's doing because like if we do it

Speaker 3 with our luck we'll do it like when it's

Speaker 3 wearing out what you're going into right now is you're pre-canceling a plan no i don't want to do this i really do you said you texted and you're like hey what about a tandem bike and i go haha yeah No, I said you are more than welcome to say no.

Speaker 4 I wanted to include you. I wanted this to be something.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 3 I just 31 miles is a shitload of miles. What about if you got, what if we got, what if we got Huffy and you had pegs and I just hopped on the back? I'm drive.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was gonna say I'm driving this one. My buns of anarchy training has led me to this point.
No, that means you have to be in the back.

Speaker 3 That's where like the it's like a canoe. Like the back is the power, is the engine.

Speaker 4 I don't think you understand how tandem bikes work.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, that's the you want if if you are going too fast, you're going to be dragging me where you want to be rear-wheel drive.

Speaker 5 And you'll be drifting behind Big Cat the whole time.

Speaker 3 He'll be blocking the air.

Speaker 5 So that's, that's more.

Speaker 3 You don't want to be in the in the front.

Speaker 4 I do want to be in the front. I'm looking at the picture right now, the Ryan brothers, and Rob was in the back.
Rex was up front right after he had the lap band surgery.

Speaker 4 So I think you got to be in the back.

Speaker 3 I'm just telling you,

Speaker 3 that doesn't make sense. Like you would, you would want the stronger biker in the back.

Speaker 3 Otherwise, you're pulling me instead of...

Speaker 4 I'm putting you on my back.

Speaker 3 Right, but you would want it the other way. Like, you want to be like, you're pushing us.

Speaker 4 You want me to be the ass of the bike.

Speaker 3 Like in a canoe, you want the stronger rower in the back.

Speaker 4 I'm going to steer this one you steer the rv you steer the the van if i have to sit behind you for four hours now this really sucks maybe we switch off we can alternate yeah because we're definitely going to need to take some breaks for like granola or like uh some gorp maybe have some uh a meal selling salt what about a meal oh we can yeah we could stop at well no there are no restaurants that are open

Speaker 3 okay i'm actually you know what fine pf wait no wait no this is not gonna work i'm reading right now if the but the most tandem bikes, the taller person should sit in front. That's what it's saying.

Speaker 3 I just Googled it.

Speaker 4 You Googled should the tallest person?

Speaker 3 No, I said

Speaker 3 faster biker front or back tandem.

Speaker 3 You're a better biker than me. I'm not saying you're not.
Like, I'm just trying to figure out the fastest way to get this fucking done with.

Speaker 4 All right, so we'll got the logistics behind the scenes.

Speaker 4 But the great news is, if you want to help out this charitable cause, you don't have to pay a single red cent. You don't have to pay a single.
This is all me and Big Cat and Hank and Bubba.

Speaker 4 And we are going to do a service for the greater good of the podcast and community. And it'll be, as Big Cat says, either next Friday or maybe the Friday after that.

Speaker 3 Or the Friday after that? Or another Friday. Who knows?

Speaker 4 Right now, it's absolutely planned for next Friday. All right, so I'm in for it.

Speaker 3 We're going to do it. I'm joking around.
I'm going to have a great time. I'm so looking forward to biking.
I actually own a bike now. So

Speaker 3 I got a bike today. Oh, sick.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, I was given to me. No, no.

Speaker 3 Our boss, boss, Dave Portnoy, is doing his unboxing, and someone gave him a $3,000 bike, and I got it.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's pretty sweet.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's, I mean, if I don't, I already told Spider that if I don't use it once a week

Speaker 3 for the next two months, I will give it back to him so he can have it because I probably won't use it. It's one of those like rash, like, hey, improve myself.

Speaker 4 Maybe I'll get into biking, that sort of thing. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 4 I've already ordered so many like accoutrements and accessories to go.

Speaker 3 Did you order some for me?

Speaker 4 yeah I did actually I got you some sick ass biker gloves hell yes hell yes I just like biker gloves or bicyclist gloves biker gloves I do my shopping in the in the biker section and just ignoring the fact that I'm talking about a bicycle and not a hog so I've got a I've got a Hartley helmet I've got some spiked gloves coming for you so we're gonna be good

Speaker 3 All right, so we're gonna do that. Look out for that.
That will be very, very

Speaker 3 interesting. We're gonna do an Instagram live for the whole thing or Twitch or whatever we're gonna do.
We're gonna be live.

Speaker 3 We got to get the helmets where we can get the cameras attached. So we should just come with like seven different cell phones and just keep swapping them out.

Speaker 3 And both of us should be live on different platforms. We should actually be live on all three platforms for the entire time.

Speaker 4 We should duct tape different phones to our heads and would just always be live, always be content.

Speaker 3 But on different... Yeah.

Speaker 4 We're Truman showing ourselves.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's actually like the ESPN when they show that the national championship. Yeah, it would be like, hey, you want to go to ESPNU

Speaker 3 and watch

Speaker 3 PFT's ass from Big Cat's Cam? Or you want to see Hank have like the sky view where you can get the whole 360.

Speaker 4 We should have a coach's room too where we have some people breaking down our biking technique. Like, who's a good bicyclist?

Speaker 5 Your Buns of Anarchy gang.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 4 I'll get Booger and Leinert to break down the biking journey.

Speaker 3 I do actually have an old phone that I've reactivated to go be able to go live on multiple things.

Speaker 3 I should I should tape it to the seat and start a zoom and just have that be like literally the fart cam. I just sit down on it over and over.

Speaker 4 It's just your ass, just extreme close.

Speaker 3 Just going up and down. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I did see that you, was it you that you have plans for the Kentucky Derby?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm trying to, I'm trying to take my horse racing to the next level. and just run like 11 races that day on my track.

Speaker 4 I like that. And like

Speaker 4 in like a big hat and all that stuff.

Speaker 3 The problem is all these plans, like you can't do it with more than like three people.

Speaker 4 But you can be remote.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I can. Yeah.
But it's just like,

Speaker 3 like, it's so funny to be like, hey, we should do this big thing. It's like, oh, yeah, but we can't do this big thing because we can't bring

Speaker 3 like people into the office.

Speaker 4 If people got just like hammered as shit and dressed up in their finest and just got on Zoom watching your horse race.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Can I, can I get dressed up like Hunter S. Thompson and get fucked up on all kinds of drugs and then write a recap of the day?

Speaker 3 No, you can get dressed up like that other guy who uh who what's that guy's name who's like Dale Earnhardt's best friend and he always does like the scene.

Speaker 4 What's the, he's kind of a oh, no, the guy that looks like uh Spencer Hall from Espy Nation.

Speaker 3 Yes, what is his name?

Speaker 4 I forget that guy's name.

Speaker 3 No, I'd rather just get really messed up on drugs and no, I gave you the captain of Derby is drinking in the phrase. I gave you your role, so uh, that's that's your role.
Announcer crew.

Speaker 3 I love the Kentucky Dare because it has like 17 people

Speaker 3 doing different things.

Speaker 4 We should get Randy Moss involved.

Speaker 3 Ooh, yeah, we should get Randy Moss. Handicap all of it.
Fuck. Now that bummed me out.

Speaker 3 That bummed me out thinking that we're not going to have Randy Moss. All right, I'll figure it out later.
This guy's name, whatever his name is. Someone tweet me his name tomorrow.

Speaker 3 All right, let's do our fire fest.

Speaker 7 Fall's here. Kids are back in school.
Vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 7 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 7 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 7 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com/slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 3 Hank, you're firefest and if you fucking say that you're like sick of getting high and playing video games i'm going to jump through this screen and strangle you to death no it's not that although i am having a tough time uh call of duty warzone just gets worse and worse but my fire fest actually uh the call is coming from within the building

Speaker 5 our own our very own leroy insider oh no

Speaker 5 reported that uh gronk is close to signing with the buccaneers or just trying to figure it out with the patriots i assumed it was just leroy doing leroy things and just and just uh scooping out of out of the side of his head.

Speaker 4 What does that mean? Leroy doing Leroy things.

Speaker 3 Just reporting news and

Speaker 5 just like, yeah, fast and loose and like going more for the interaction and the buzz than necessarily the truth.

Speaker 5 But I did a little bit of research on my own and there's actually like some

Speaker 5 where there's, was it where there's smoke, there's fire and it's heartbreaking. It's tough to even think about.
I haven't, I still haven't listened to what are you talking about?

Speaker 5 Gronk going to the Bucks.

Speaker 3 Where there's books. What do you say? I wanted you to say it.

Speaker 4 Instead of smoke fire, it's where there's boops, there's scoops. That's

Speaker 1 wait. What is it about again?

Speaker 4 Gronk going to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. So Gronk retired from the New England Patriots and did not play last year.
And he would join up with Tom Brady in Tampa Bay. So kind of like the noted legends.

Speaker 3 Noted pothead, Tom Brady.

Speaker 4 That's right. Yeah, he smoked weed in high school a couple times.
And sober Gronk and Tom Brady, truly the odd couple.

Speaker 4 There's actually some merit behind this reporting. I will tell you that Leroy has good sources.

Speaker 4 His ass is firmly, he's scooting his ass all over the story, putting his stink on it, putting his mark on it.

Speaker 4 And you'll note that every single Bucks personnel guy that's been asked about this, whether it's Bruce Arians publicly, whether it's Jason Light publicly, they are both. issuing non-denials.

Speaker 4 They're not saying they're not interested. They're interested.
The talks are happening right now. It's, I would put it at like Leroy, what we say.

Speaker 4 Leroy says 92% it happens.

Speaker 3 I just hope that. 92%?

Speaker 5 Yeah. I just hope that.

Speaker 4 But that's in dog percentage. This is scared off.

Speaker 5 Like, hopefully, like, Leroy has like scared them away from making this happen.

Speaker 3 Well, I just, how does that work? He's like a guard dog for your heroes.

Speaker 5 Yeah, like, I don't know. Like, oh, shit, like, they're onto us.
We better knock them out of retirement. Yeah.

Speaker 3 The best part about, like, if this actually happens, there's not a single person better equipped to have like two of his star players leave him, willingly leave him than Bill Belichick.

Speaker 3 Like, normally any other person I could think of, they'd be like, what, what's your guy's problem? Like, you don't like me? Like, maybe send him a text, be like, what, what's the deal here, guys?

Speaker 3 Like, I thought, I thought you retired, Gronk. Like, Tom, I thought we were friends.
Like, you'd steal, you know, Gronk and all this stuff. But Bill Belichick will just keep moving.

Speaker 3 He'll probably get a great draft pick for it and just keep moving on, like, not even think about it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, it would be a big F you to Bill Belichick in principle, but I don't think that Bill would even see it that way. No, he wouldn't care.

Speaker 3 He would be like, I get an asset. He'd be like, I get an asset for Rob Gronkowski.

Speaker 4 Like a vindictive.

Speaker 4 I'll put it this way. Rex Ryan, if it happened to him and one of his former players, they were trying to sign with another team, Rex would be like, go fuck yourself.

Speaker 4 I'm not giving him up for anything. And he would just deal with not having a fourth round pick or a third round pick or whatever it is, like O.J.
Howard.

Speaker 4 With Belichick, he's like, Yeah, I would absolutely get something for nothing because Rob's not coming back to play. He's in the NFC.
Who gives a shit?

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's your spin zone, Hank. You literally would make you would create a draft pick out of thin air.

Speaker 5 I don't, it would be, it would still be just very, very hard to stop.

Speaker 3 Do you think who wears 87 for the Bucs?

Speaker 3 Does anyone?

Speaker 4 I don't think anybody does. I think

Speaker 3 it's just 12 to 87 again.

Speaker 1 Yep, exactly.

Speaker 4 Exactly. Uh, so Hank's understandably upset about it.
I'll say this.

Speaker 4 If Leroy nails the scoop, which I think he's going to, oh, Jordan Leggett, and he gets, oh, yeah, yeah, Gronk will just like fight him for that.

Speaker 3 Just wrestle him.

Speaker 4 If Leroy nails it, I think he's going to.

Speaker 4 And he gets credit on the ESPN bottom line for breaking the story. I think Leroy might retire from the scoop business.
I think he might go out.

Speaker 3 No, you have to be definitive here. Leroy will get out of it.

Speaker 3 Leroy will retire if the ESPN bottom line credits at leroy insider or leroy the dog for breaking the news about this gronk thing so then that'll be his final scoop then the question is the the owner of leroy's account who has an addiction to breaking news whether real or fake what does he do i'll get another dog okay i was gonna say like you'll just be very goldfish

Speaker 4 no leroy will go out he'll go out on top and uh i'll put him out to pastor if you want to stud him out i'll let him have sex with your dog you know just like an old racehorse that won the Kentucky Derby.

Speaker 4 This is the best journalistic hound in the history of dogs. So, like, if you're looking, if you're doing your Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 3 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about that Rin Tin 10 guy?

Speaker 4 He was a cop.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, he was a cop. He was a cop.
All right. Yeah, then, yeah.

Speaker 4 So Leroy would be the best dog reporter of all time.

Speaker 3 That's all I had.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3 What about Lassie?

Speaker 4 Lassie did break the Timmy Down a Wells story.

Speaker 3 I just had Rin Tin Tins.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, PFT, what's your fire fest?

Speaker 4 My fire fest fest of the week is

Speaker 4 I don't think that there are going to be any more hockey handshakes at the end of big-time Stanley Cup playoff series because Dr.

Speaker 4 Fauci said that he doesn't think the handshake is ever going to come back.

Speaker 3 I'm happy about this.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, as white guys, we've produced so many daps before that it's actually good for us.

Speaker 3 Not only that, but it's just. it's one hand.
The handshake is one of those things that it's like, maybe you just have to get super high to think about it.

Speaker 3 You know when sometimes you get high and and you start thinking about names, first names, you're like, whoa, what's like someone is named like Paul? What the fuck?

Speaker 3 But that's what I've done for the handshake with this entire experience.

Speaker 3 Like, so wait, when you see someone, you just put your hand out there and shake it and just share every germ you have on your hands?

Speaker 3 That seems weird.

Speaker 4 If it was any other part of your body that you did this with, it would be bizarre, right? Right.

Speaker 4 Doesn't matter if it was like your, if you locked elbows with somebody and rubbed elbows, if you did anything with your neck or your ears like it for some reason with the hand it's just common acceptance to shake hands um maybe

Speaker 4 the only downside to this is maybe we'll become a cheek kissing society and cheek kissing is like what seems way worse every every now and again significantly worse the cheek kiss is like okay but for the most part it's like bizarre and weird unless i'll put it this way unless you're a university of florida football player getting ready to walk past your coach's wife the cheek kiss is always like a little too intimate, I would say.

Speaker 3 I would say there's never been a good cheat kiss.

Speaker 4 Mrs. Mullen's pretty good at it.

Speaker 3 There's not a time when it's like this is it's it's family members that you don't want to do a cheat kiss with. It's it's a weird thing.

Speaker 5 My girlfriend's family is Italian. I never know what to do at gatherings.
Like it's like I just don't have it down.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 um or aunts and uncles and shit that i've never like i met one time and i have to go in and kiss them just dx them maybe that'll be our new greeting just everyone just DXs everyone.

Speaker 3 I'm fine with that. Or do the,

Speaker 3 I've seen some people do the hand on the heart. It's fucking so stupid, but I kind of, it's like, hey, I can keep my space.
It's like what I was talking about on Monday.

Speaker 3 It's cool to just keep your space from everyone at all times.

Speaker 4 What about the hand on the heart and the point?

Speaker 3 That or just

Speaker 3 a knuckles. Just go nucks up on everyone.
Just pound it. Yeah, pound it.

Speaker 3 Hey, and if you really like the person, explode that shit. Pounding is the same thing.
It's the same thing.

Speaker 3 No, it's not.

Speaker 4 No, it's not. You're killing germs.

Speaker 3 You touch things with this side of your hand. You pound with this side of your hand.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you guys are both punching germs at the same time and knocking them out. It's actually very like nuclear fission.

Speaker 3 That's how strong we are.

Speaker 3 All right. My Fire Fest.
I got two.

Speaker 3 The Bulls have finally hired a new GM, and I should be happy. I'm just calling him AK because I still don't know how to fully pronounce his name.
Arturus Canisius from Denver.

Speaker 3 Seemingly the smart thing they did. Like, hey, the Bulls did something smart.

Speaker 3 But my firefest is I've been so battered by Jerry Reinsdorf and John Paxson that I just assume John Pax is going to keep his job and then in like three years bug AK's office and do a power play and get back power and then like reset.

Speaker 3 He gets another 10 years. So probably.
That's it's one of those, you know, when you get in that situation where you get objectively positive, great news, which this is like he is a stud.

Speaker 3 He will be good for the Bulls. Like, he's going to actually maybe have a scouting department and analytics and all these things that teams have figured out a decade ago the Bulls might do.

Speaker 3 But you're in the back of your head, you're like, well, how are they going to fuck this up? That's always a bad place to be, but that's where I am.

Speaker 4 No, as a Redskins fan, I've never had an experience like that where we do something good, but in the background, Vinny Serrato.

Speaker 3 You guys don't really do anything good.

Speaker 4 So, well, I mean, Joe Gibbs, he was pretty good.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that was a long, long time ago.

Speaker 3 Oh, bringing him back.

Speaker 3 That wasn't that good.

Speaker 3 And then my Firefest, my other Firefest is I bought, I have my horse track race every night, 657, the Cat Cave Derby. It's electric, both literally and figuratively.
And so I said, hey, you know what?

Speaker 3 It would be better if I got an eight lane track. And so I bought a $200 eight lane track online.
Didn't read the fine print. It's just a fucking board game.

Speaker 4 Look at this thing. And you paid $200 for it.

Speaker 3 Look at this.

Speaker 1 Look how big this is.

Speaker 3 is it hand-painted it's huge what do you have to like roll dice to like figure out how far you're going so i i will at some point we will do follow also a treasure map i'm trying to figure out how it's possibly 200 for that thing follow follow the part of my take twitch hank's playing all the time pft is gonna be doing stuff that we'll get to the board idea i'm playing video games on there now too but at some point maybe maybe uh maybe when we go in one night we'll just sit down and we'll play this on twitch oh i did five hours

Speaker 4 I bought a Super Nintendo with Donkey Kong Country and Super Mario World and Firefox. No, it's not Fire.

Speaker 4 Star Fox.

Speaker 3 Oh, wait, no, Star Fox and N64, though.

Speaker 4 Star Fox. No, it's not

Speaker 3 Star Fox on Bill.

Speaker 3 N64

Speaker 3 better.

Speaker 4 It was pretty good for Super Nintendo.

Speaker 5 Star Fox on N64 was the shit.

Speaker 3 The best. I've got like a bunch of old school games.

Speaker 4 That's pretty much when I gave up on video. After GoldenEye,

Speaker 4 you might as well just knock me out unconscious in terms of video games and woken me up like a year ago because there's no in-between for me.

Speaker 3 Just give me a second. I got to roll this whole fucking thing up.

Speaker 3 That's how big it is.

Speaker 4 It probably came with some of those. Like,

Speaker 3 there you go, Hank.

Speaker 1 Good one.

Speaker 3 Look at this, guys.

Speaker 3 Oh, shit.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I fucking smoked that fatty board game that I paid $200 for. I didn't read the fucking print.

Speaker 5 You're going to leave a review or what?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Everyone, make sure you read the fine print.

Speaker 3 All right, let's do let's do our interview with Mark Titus and we have our Mount Flushmore of things that we are exceptionally bad at.

Speaker 4 Before we do that, hey, it's PFT here reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 4 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 4 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 4 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 3 Okay, here he is, Mark Titus.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, recurring guest,

Speaker 1 one-time ban, because he did say those terrible things. Hateful things.
Hateful things that we had to delete from the podcast. Can't believe we have you back.
It is Mark Titus. He is from Fox Sports.

Speaker 1 He has a podcast on Westwood One Podcast Network called Titus and Tate. Let's start there, Mark.

Speaker 1 Who had worse timing? I got in the real estate business in 2008, 7.

Speaker 1 I got in the casino business January 2020.

Speaker 1 You got into the I'm going to leave my job that I've been at and my podcast feed to do my own podcast feed that's college basketball, the one year they don't have a tournament.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and not only that, we waited until like halfway through the season to sign our contracts. And we kept telling ourselves it's okay because all that matters is March anyway.

Speaker 1 The only time people care about college basketball is March. So as long as we have a big March, we'll be okay.

Speaker 1 It's okay.

Speaker 1 No, you guys must be really starved for content if you're having me back on. I mean, my gosh.

Speaker 1 I thought I. Yeah.
No,

Speaker 1 we were like, hey, our good friend Mark

Speaker 1 took a big risk. No, we went out.
He's probably going to get fired. I don't even know.
Do you have an employer?

Speaker 4 What we really said was John Rossny is not picking up our calls, so let's get Mark on the line and talk to him.

Speaker 1 No, you're one of our longtime favorite guests. So people actually requested you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, am I the first? Am I like the longest running, like continued? I mean, you were trying to think of guys a ride.

Speaker 1 Chris Long was number one.

Speaker 4 You were the first college basketball guest. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I want to talk about great timing. This was great timing.
Like, this is one of the best investments I've ever made in my career was

Speaker 1 responding to PFT's DM four years ago. And he's like, hey, I just launched this podcast with this guy named Big Cat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you guys launched it in March, right? And you're like, we need college basketball company. Will you come on? And all I wanted was to just see PFT's face.

Speaker 1 And then he wore sunglasses in the interview. I was like, what are we doing? It's just us three.
Why are you wearing sunglasses, dude? And anyway,

Speaker 4 then we met like a month later on the original Grit Week in Indy, where we got into a hardcore debate about LeBron versus MJ. That big cat started as a joke, but ended up taking extremely seriously.

Speaker 1 So did Mark Titus. And so did Hank, who said Bill Russell.
And we were all very drunk. And then we saved your brother's life.
So it was a good time. That is true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my brother passed out in the bus.

Speaker 1 I remember not really caring that much. And PFT and I would just kind of lock eyes and laugh at how ridiculous it was that Dan was taking it so seriously.
And then

Speaker 1 10 days later, the finals are going on. And the Cavs, or was he on the heat at the time? He must have been on the heat at the time.
Whatever. Whatever team LeBron is on.

Speaker 1 He's in the finals for one of those eight years in a row that he went. And they lose.
And Dan texts me. And I just took a screenshot and sent sent it to PFT, and the rest is history.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I got you.

Speaker 1 You care. You care because you bring it up every time I see you.
You care. You absolutely care.
I know you do. Deep down, I know that

Speaker 1 you're a guy who wants to just sit around, drink some beers, and debate some sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Mark, how are you spending your days right now? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 It's horrible. I'm just, I'm quarantined in LA.
Oh, you had it, right? Brutal.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that's right. I was supposed to come to no, I remember, I vividly remember Fox, we were going to come to the Big East Armed, New York, and I'd set up seeing you guys.

Speaker 1 You guys were working on your excuses to flake on dinner. It was all, it was all, everything was going according to plan.

Speaker 1 And then Fox said, we're not sending anybody anywhere. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And they're like, yeah, we're worried about the coronavirus.

Speaker 1 And this was probably, I don't know, end of February or something. And I remember getting in, not really a fight with my boss.

Speaker 1 I was like just in his office, just like, this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. What are we doing? Like, this is so stupid.
Um, yeah, I, I, I regret, I regret everything I said.

Speaker 1 And then, uh, so then I told you guys, I was like, hey, Fox isn't sending us because of Corona. And then you mocked me as well.

Speaker 1 And then, Dan, I think what PFT, you said, like, DNC is considering canceling the tournament. And then Dan was like, that's definitely not going to happen.
I couldn't believe it. I was so upset.

Speaker 4 Leroy said it.

Speaker 1 I was so upset. And then he said that Mark's not going to be here because of Corona.

Speaker 4 And then I thought that you had it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 yeah so congrats on beating so i'm i'm yeah i'm just quarantined in la i i you know it's it's been a rough go the beaches are closed here um so that's been brutal my my maid can only come once a week uh to the social distancing so now are you are you quarantined because of corona or just because it's raining there right now it is it is raining how do you know that are people just tweeting about it i guess we always check we always check the weather in lay right when we wake up every morning

Speaker 1 we just make sure It's the capital of the world. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, Mark, can you do this for us before we do our Mount Flushmore draft? Can you give us like two to three endings of March Madness that you saw could have happened? Like almost fanfic.

Speaker 1 I'll take off my pants

Speaker 1 and we could just like

Speaker 1 we could really just dive into it like, oh my god, Obi Toppin fucking finished off the dream season of Dayton.

Speaker 4 I would have had some great literally translates tweets for him too. Fuck.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 Dayton beating Kansas is one they had the great mountain invitational game I think having the rematch with the national player of the year the national coach of the year a mid-major when's the last time a mid-major won a national championship it's been a long time when's the last time a mid-major got to the final four

Speaker 1 yeah right right yeah uh two years ago loyal probably

Speaker 1 yeah the year but before that

Speaker 4 george mason before that

Speaker 1 yeah yeah um

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that would have been awesome. That would have been, that's one fanfic.
Can we do, like, what's the Big Ten fan fic? It has to be Michigan State, right? Given what, like, Cassius Winston. No.

Speaker 1 No. I think that's.
Yeah. And the 20 years anniversary of Izzo getting the last one.

Speaker 1 Has it been that long?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think the Michigan State fanfic is they beat, like, they beat a blue blood. in the lead eight, Duke or Kentucky, and then, yeah, go on to win it all.

Speaker 1 and maybe even i don't know i feel like they would have i feel like a fanfic for michigan state would have had them playing uh complete nobody came in coming out of nowhere in the finals so it wouldn't have even been a memorable final except for izzo and cassius winston

Speaker 1 right yeah i that's fair i think i just i just wanted the big ten i was i was rooting for the i mean you know i'm i'm speaking i'm preaching the choir a little bit uh i know big kip but uh it's it's been too long it's very frustrating it is the big ten loses title games.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we know that the Big Ten, like the ACC is probably better. Not this year.
The ACC was dog shit this year, but the ACC might be a better basketball conference.

Speaker 1 But the Big Ten is definitely number two, if we're not number one. And we can't say anything because we never win national titles and it's very frustrating.

Speaker 1 I would just like to win one to shut everyone up. So

Speaker 1 you can say whatever you want. You just have to mute the words Michigan State 2000 and then you're fine.
Right.

Speaker 1 Like no one can say it. Or Routine Cleaves, just to extra, make sure the quality filters are totally on.
That way, no one can fuck with you.

Speaker 1 Would you have, like, tell me this? Just give me, give me 30 seconds. I did buy fully in on this Wisconsin team, and I did think they were going to make what? What?

Speaker 1 I didn't think they were going to go to the Final Four, but I thought they were going to get to the Sweet 16 and maybe even get to the Elite Eight and have it be like one of those crazy, like, how the fuck are these guys doing it?

Speaker 1 Because how the fuck did they do it? I can't remember. In Big Ten play.

Speaker 1 Did you say it on air when you came on our show, or was it after or before the interview when you're like, we have to fire Greg Garr. He's not.

Speaker 1 And then they never lost again.

Speaker 1 It was crazy.

Speaker 1 It's another one of your great timings.

Speaker 1 We'll get to that when we do the Mount Flushmore of Terrible, like Things We're Terrible At. That's definitely one of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Wisconsin, no.

Speaker 1 It was not had. I mean, you can't simultaneously...
Here's how I knew Wisconsin wasn't actually that good. It was like Wisconsin fans were clamoring for Greg Garr to be national coach of the year.

Speaker 1 But then they were also, and then you were also upset that no one made the all-big 10 team.

Speaker 1 You guys won a part of the league and no one made the all-big 10 team. And Wisconsin fans were like, how could we...

Speaker 1 Like, basically,

Speaker 1 you were very confused because

Speaker 1 on one hand, you wanted respect, and you wanted all of the media types like me to say, like, wow, Wisconsin's a true national title contender.

Speaker 1 On the other hand, you were like, wow, our coach basically had the shittiest team ever win a Big Ten title. He's a magician how he did this.

Speaker 1 So you're like conceding that your team was not that good and it was like a miracle that you won. That's actually a good point.
Okay,

Speaker 1 who are you talking to? Because if you talked to me, I would have told you exactly what I said a million times. I thought that they were like, I didn't know how the fuck they got to where they were.

Speaker 1 It was incredible. It was awesome to watch.
And I thought they would probably either lose in the first round, which always could happen,

Speaker 1 or have like a miracle run. And when I say miracle run, I'm talking Sweet 16.
Right, right. That's what I mean.
Yeah, they would have lost him at Sweet 16 on a Buzzerbeater. Right.
Tradition.

Speaker 1 I didn't actually. I mean, I did take a future on them at 500 to 1.
No, 100 to 1. But I didn't actually think they were going to do anything.
But maybe.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 3 Maybe.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe.

Speaker 4 Which one of the top seeds was going to be a fraud? Who's going to get bounced early?

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Who was a fraud? I didn't love Baylor.
Baylor was kind of looking towards the finish line.

Speaker 1 I thought Baylor was really good this year, but

Speaker 1 once Bill Self kind of showed everybody, hey, what if you just set a middle ball screen?

Speaker 1 Then people were like, yeah, we should do that more often. Then Baylor started losing games.
So I think Baylor would have, I don't know, I wouldn't have trusted them in my brackets.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think San Diego State, too. They were kind of limping towards the finish line, too.
Oh, yeah. San Diego State was big-time limping.

Speaker 1 Now, to be fair to Baylor, so we don't have everyone yell at us, I agree with everything you said, but with the caveat that not every team had Azubuke because that game against Kansas, he was in fucking sane.

Speaker 1 I think he had like I don't even know. I don't remember.
I think he had like 18 rebounds and like 20 plus points, which is insane in college. But yeah, I

Speaker 1 yeah, I agree. Did you think Gonzaga had a chance to maybe finally make the Final Four?

Speaker 1 Gonzaga, I really hated this Gonzaga team. It was nothing against them.

Speaker 1 I just, I loved last year's team so much that it really, it would have pissed me off out of respect to last year's team, like Brandon Clark and Rui Houchamura and those guys, if this Konzaga team like would have won a national title after last year's team didn't even make the final four, I would have been really upset.

Speaker 1 And that was kind of the theme of college basketball this year to me was like basically every team was worse than they were the year last year.

Speaker 1 Candace was the exception. But

Speaker 1 I don't know. So for that reason, I didn't want to cheer for this Konzaga team, even though

Speaker 1 they were good. I thought they were one of the best teams in the country.
But it was just one of those deals.

Speaker 1 You knew that I kind of had that selfishness with me at Ohio State. Like the year after I graduated Ohio State in 2011, we were the best team in the country.
Wisconsin beat us. Big Cat, remember this?

Speaker 1 We were undefeated.

Speaker 1 And you guys won in Madison.

Speaker 1 That 2011 team was a one seed.

Speaker 1 And part of me was really pissed off because I was like, if they win the national title when our 2007 team is so much better than them, I'm going to be so fucking mad that I missed out on the national title and these guys won.

Speaker 1 And then they lost to Kentucky. And as it turns out, that's not what I wanted at at all.
Wow. So Mark Titus was rooting against the Buckeyes.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 Full-on.

Speaker 1 That's fucked, dude. That's really fucked.

Speaker 1 Every team was like, Virginia was worse, but then they somehow got better at the end of the season. We're like, wait, is Virginia good again? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Virginia was not. Virginia was lucky as hell.
And I say this as a big-time Virginia fan. You know that.
I'm as big of a Virginia fan as you guys are LSU fan.

Speaker 1 Which is to say, I've been a fan my whole life, definitely.

Speaker 1 No, they got lucky, and

Speaker 1 they won, like, I think I want to say eight in a row, and seven of the eight games were one possession games to end the season.

Speaker 1 Um, so I didn't really, I wasn't really going to trust Virginia in the tournament, but that's okay. They won the national title.

Speaker 1 They're a chance for two years, the longest reign in college basketball history. There you go.
That's awesome. That's huge.
That's crazy for your Cavaliers.

Speaker 4 Second year, actually.

Speaker 1 Before we do our Mount Flushmore, Flushmore, I had one other question. How is life

Speaker 1 as an iPhone user?

Speaker 1 It sucks. I don't like the iPhone at all.

Speaker 1 I bought an iPhone to FaceTime my niece and nephew. That was literally it.
My brother and sister have iPhones, and they were like, if you want to see, I was like, can you guys do a Skype thing?

Speaker 1 Can we do...

Speaker 1 This is before people knew about Zoom, I guess, with the quarantine. Now everyone knows how to use Zoom.

Speaker 1 They're like, the only way you're ever going to see your niece and nephew are if you FaceTime us. So that's the only reason I got it.

Speaker 1 it's very frustrating uh the keyboard sucks the keyboard i had on my own phone my own phone is awesome the autocorrect is awesome i don't know i'm getting used to it though it is nice i like the apple watch a lot i have that i will i will say the apple watch is cool the airpods are cool the phone itself not a fan but it's a fan do you have the one that has the home screen button on it or is it just where you have to swipe up no i got the uh i got the eyeball like the one where they like steal your eyeball and um all your dna and they can tell it to you

Speaker 4 yeah i didn't use that one But then I realized they literally have everything else on me.

Speaker 1 So that's kind of foolish.

Speaker 4 I was like, I'm not giving them my face. It's like my face is pretty much all over the internet.

Speaker 1 I hate the home screen. Like, the apps, you can't move them around.
You have to.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's a whole thing.
Like, the Samsung was so you could customize everything. It was great.
If you didn't like certain things, you just got rid of it. You just got it off your homepage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then they exploded.

Speaker 1 What about the explode?

Speaker 4 I don't think iPhones have ever turned into bomb simultaneously.

Speaker 1 All right, so everyone go subscribe to Mark's podcast, Tidies and Taylor. What are you guys going to be doing, by the way, now that basketball is canceled forever? Oh,

Speaker 1 my bosses wanted me to plug this. Fox is doing like this ultimate fan bracket, and it'd be great for your listeners to come troll it, actually.

Speaker 1 We're doing

Speaker 1 all of the fan bases. They're seeded by Twitter followings of each of the men's basketball counts.
And it's basically just like a bracket of who has the best fans in college basketball.

Speaker 1 Duke is a one-seed because they have the most

Speaker 1 Twitter followers because they buy bots. Oh, fuck that.

Speaker 1 Well, no, the best part about it is Duke is losing in the first round because they're playing Lehigh. It's a 116 game, and everybody's voting against Duke.
Oh, yes. And

Speaker 1 it's so good. So Wisconsin's a three-seed big guy.
That's pretty cool. Ohio State's just a seventh seed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
I'm getting in on that. All right.
So everyone go in on that. Yeah.
And I'm trying to figure out what's like the funniest thing.

Speaker 1 I'm sure a 16th seed is going to end up winning it because people are going to troll it, but I don't know what the funniest trolling.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know what the funniest outcome is.

Speaker 4 I'd like to see UNBC get back involved, have their Twitter account, the Retrievers.

Speaker 1 How about Gonzaga finally make a Final Four? That'd be nice.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 UNBC, we matched them up with Virginia in the first round. They're going to beat Virginia again.
I love it. There's that as well.

Speaker 1 Anyway. Okay, so everyone do that.
Also, download Titus and Tate, the podcast. Download it.
Last, last question before we do the Mount Fleshmore.

Speaker 1 Have you re-watched, where do you rank Hoosiers in your all-time movies?

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's a tough rewatch because it feels like it's so cliche.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like every beat of that movie has, but it's kind of like, I describe it as like the Seinfeld is unfunny thing where like people ripped off Seinfeld so much that if you go back and watch Seinfeld, it feels like...

Speaker 1 You've already seen this a million times, even if you've never seen Seinfeld before. That's kind of what Hoosiers is to me.
It's like, in my mind, Hoosier's invented sports movies.

Speaker 1 Whether that's true or not, it doesn't matter. That's how I've always remembered it.

Speaker 1 So, like, part of why I think it's cliche and cheesy and stupid is because everyone saw that, copied the formula, and took it and ran.

Speaker 4 They started the clichés.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I re-watched it recently, last week, and I

Speaker 1 love the movie. Like, I love the movie.
But I definitely re-watched it and was like, maybe it's because I was narrating it as I was on radio, so I didn't have the sound on.

Speaker 1 And Hoosier's, the song, the montage song in Hoosiers is probably like one or two best montage song in any sports movie. Like that just gets you so pumped up.

Speaker 1 But the basketball scenes just kind of suck. And the last scene, Jimmy Chitwood, like the defense on him was atrocious.
I actually went back and watched it and it actually was like true to form.

Speaker 1 That was how bad the defense was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was bad.

Speaker 1 Obviously, I'm biased. Like I love it, not just because I'm from Indiana, but like, I live that, you know, like playing high school basketball in Indiana.

Speaker 1 It wasn't quite on that level where like the whole town is like calling a town hall meeting to fire the coach

Speaker 1 if the best player doesn't join the team. It wasn't quite that, but it was

Speaker 1 there was a lot of that where like winning, like I played in front of like I played high school games in front of like 5,000 people, you know, which is insane.

Speaker 1 So like that, those elements like of the whole town rallying behind the high school basketball team and like the state championship being the most important thing in the world, like all that still resonates with me.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I understand. Like I don't get super passionate about it because I know I love it and

Speaker 1 I don't need to recruit other people to love that movie. If other people watch it and they're like, this is lame as shit.
And I just kind of shrug my shoulders. I'm like, I get it.

Speaker 1 I get why you would think that.

Speaker 1 I still love it. That's a fair answer.
I still love it too. I just re-watched it and was like, wait, do I not love it as much as I used to love it?

Speaker 1 Because you think of losers when you watch it as a kid you're like this is the coolest movie ever my dad has lived every second of his life in in indiana not just indiana but like rural indiana and um he hates the movie and the and it's pretty shocking that he would hate the movie because he's such a basketball guy loves indiana high school basketball he hates the movie because he he just like will not shut up about how it's not a true story um it is true that like the small town team won the title but what what is not true is that the year before yeah they had gone to like the final four of the state tournament.

Speaker 1 And the movie makes it seem like they just kind of came out of nowhere. But really, they've gone to the final four and they brought everyone back and then won the next year.

Speaker 1 So my dad is like, he's like the truther that just goes around in the end and is like, fuck Hoosiers.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it, though.

Speaker 4 You have to have a well-actually gap.

Speaker 1 Yes, I like that too.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do this draft.
Let's do this draft. So when we had Titus on over the summer, the podcast, everyone loved listening to

Speaker 4 the life episode. The life episode.
We just kind of talked about all the stuff that's happened to us. Right.

Speaker 1 So we talked about all the stuff that's happened to us, and we did a Mount Rushmore of things that we think that we are sneaky elite at. So now we're going to do that.

Speaker 1 What were the highlights of that episode, by the way? So was it, like, what have you found is the

Speaker 1 lasting legacy? It's got to be the hot soup for you, Danny. The hot soup is definitely up there.

Speaker 4 I would say the tightest callback joke.

Speaker 1 Titus callback joke. We do a good callback joke.

Speaker 4 It's like saying Kobe before you make a shot. We say Titus right afterwards.

Speaker 1 People being shocked that PFT was competent enough to get a good salary before, like they were like, what? You didn't live in the woods? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I got so many DMs being like, hey, what was the name of the company you worked for? Because if you were making that much, I would be a millionaire.

Speaker 1 Everyone's just like, no way.

Speaker 1 But yeah, and then Rasillo, maybe being a serial killer. Yeah.
Yeah. Rosillo, like, Rasillo, that started.

Speaker 1 A lot of my friends text me and still, just to this day, still text me, like, is he being serious? I can never tell him.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, nobody can. That's the joy of riding the shield.
Yeah. So, so this is a genius.

Speaker 4 This draft was, uh, it's a little bit different because I was unclear at the start.

Speaker 4 So, what we're doing is just things that we're bad at, not necessarily things that we're good at that or things that we think we're good at that we're bad at.

Speaker 1 No, things that we are, we think we are the worst at. Got it.

Speaker 1 Like, if you had a competition, we would actually probably win being the worst got it that makes sense okay yeah so it's just the opposite yeah yeah things you're sneaky elite at sucking at all right hank will go first then titus then pft then myself i mean it's not no one's really picking anything from each other out so

Speaker 5 uh putting together furniture shelves dressers things of that nature

Speaker 5 i always try whenever i do it i mess like one little thing up which basically makes the whole thing pointless And then I regret it for as long as that dresser stays up in my apartment.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so you do kind of what I do when you mess something up as you're building it and you realize that you've messed it up, you just power through and you keep building on top of that error and never fix it, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, one of the most emasculating things I ever did was task rabbit some guy to come into my home and build my baby's crib. Yeah, I was like, but you know what? I was like, fuck it, man.

Speaker 1 Caveman cats would have been like, what the hell, man? Who cares?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 It was too important because it was, like Hank said, I would definitely have done it backwards and he would have, like, we would put a newborn in the crib and it would have fucking folded on its head.

Speaker 4 Right. If the job's worth doing, it's worth paying a complete stranger to trust to do it right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you a handyman, Mark?

Speaker 1 I actually am. Yeah, I owned a house for seven years, so like I took a ton of pride in, like, fixing everything myself.
And, yeah, I'm pretty, I'm pretty, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Like, I couldn't, you wouldn't, like, hire, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have my friends have me do work for them, but I always can fix things before I, like, ask someone else to do it. Yeah.
Yeah. But

Speaker 1 I get, I get it. I get being less of a man though, like Hank is.

Speaker 1 What's the most complicated thing you've ever repaired?

Speaker 1 I installed a bidet in my house. Whoa.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I took apart my entire toilet.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if I had to. I just did it just for fun.

Speaker 1 I installed a new toilet

Speaker 1 and then installed a bidet on top of the toilet. And there's that.
Yeah. My thing is like

Speaker 1 could have flooded the house. If you can change a tire, which I can and have done, and you can

Speaker 1 like unscrew something, you know, like if you need to get a screwdriver and be like, all right, let me tighten this up. Like, I tighten.

Speaker 1 I'm doing enough.

Speaker 4 I just like to say, oh, I don't have the right tool for that. Yeah.
So, like, you can get away with not ever fixing anything if you just never buy a tool.

Speaker 1 I have basic competency. I'm not trying to be a hero.
I'm not trying to be Tim the Tool Man. I don't know sh.

Speaker 1 I don't know shit about cars. So I will do the move where I just pop the hood, stare at it for like 10 minutes, and then go back in the car and just be like, I've never seen this before.

Speaker 1 and then call

Speaker 1 i do that with cars i don't know about cars all right mark your first pick okay uh my first pick is um i have a combo uh call of duty slash rocket league um this is not this is not video games and the reason i put this on my list is because i play a ton of video games or i have in my life i'm very very experienced at video games i've never met anybody who's better than me Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 I've never met anybody who's better than me at like Tony, the original Tony Hawk. Like, I kill all my friends at FIFA.

Speaker 1 Even like first player get, like, I was awesome at Grand Theft Auto, but for some reason, the first-person shooters, I suck so bad at Call of Duty. I'm the worst Call of Duty player of all time.

Speaker 1 And then I threw Rocket League in there, too, because I played like three games of Rocket League, and I was like, this is the dumbest shit. I mean,

Speaker 1 when I play those video games, it looks like I've never touched a video game controller in my life. I am horrendously bad.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 That's a bad time for the quarantine to be bad at something like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Good pick. Good pick.
PFD, you got your first?

Speaker 4 Yeah, my first one is spelling. That was a pretty easy one for me.

Speaker 4 Bad speller. Definitely.

Speaker 1 Got awful.

Speaker 4 The autocorrect on my phone is 10 kinds of fucked up, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's good. Yeah.
There's no complaint there on that first one. That's a pretty damn good one.

Speaker 1 Okay, my first one is I'm really bad at ending text conversations. Really bad.

Speaker 1 Like, I always feel like I go one or two extra because I don't want to feel like someone doesn't, like, I haven't recognized that I've seen something.

Speaker 1 I've been shifting a little bit to the like heart-like thumbs-up guy, but that's also a douchebag.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I really, like probably three times a day, I'm in a conversation that I feel like I didn't end correctly.

Speaker 4 I think that's also showing your age a little bit.

Speaker 4 I feel the same way, but most younger people who've grown up just doing nothing but texting, they understand that like you don't have to sign off with a text message.

Speaker 4 For me, it's always like, all right, we'll circle back on this later.

Speaker 1 Yeah, talk to you later, dude. All right, good chat.
Like, I've said good chat before. That's fucking lame.
Yeah, he's terrible.

Speaker 4 You should have like an email signature for your text messages that you send.

Speaker 1 Good chat, man. All the best.

Speaker 4 Cheers. All right.

Speaker 1 Talk to you later.

Speaker 1 I do love that. I love that about the iPhone is the heart and the thumbs up and the ha-ha.
But that's a douche movie.

Speaker 1 It is, but I don't, I mean.

Speaker 1 And the iPhone is the phone for douches, right? Like, so it works out. Listen, I do it.

Speaker 1 I do it because I really, I'm that bad that I'm like, I'm just trying to find a way to get out of these conversations. But I know when I do it, it's terrible because it shows up like a text message.

Speaker 1 Maybe there's a setting you can change, but I always see someone heart something. I'm like, oh, I have a new text.
Oh, no, it's just someone hearting something. Okay, so that's my number one.

Speaker 1 My number two is I never know when to correctly stop in the savory sweet rotation while snacking. I always fuck it up.

Speaker 1 So like, you know how like when you're like, you got some chocolate and maybe you got some pretzels or you got some chips and you got some gummy bears, or whatever you're doing.

Speaker 1 I always am like, ooh, I'm good here ending on savory, or I'm good here ending on sweet, and I always then lust for the next one. I fuck it up every time.

Speaker 4 You're back at the mesh point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just can't, I just always feel like, man, why'd I stop there? I should have gone one more.

Speaker 1 Because, like, I'm a big,

Speaker 1 I love doing that. Like, chocolate and like

Speaker 1 jerky.

Speaker 4 You buy snacks in two large vessels.

Speaker 4 And I'm not saying you buy them in too large of quantities, but instead of getting like a giant thing of cool ranch Doritos, get like four medium-sized, and then you reach the end of it.

Speaker 4 That's the end is always a good stopping.

Speaker 1 No, because then you're just like, fuck, I want some more. Like, I'll do crackers and like gummy peaches.
And I'll just sit there and I'll go back and forth, back and forth, switching back and forth.

Speaker 1 And I'll never fucking get the right stop.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Is that what you do? Very timely. Do you ever do that, Mark? Very, very, yeah, very, very timely one.
A lot of snacking going on in quarantine. Yeah, that's very true.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's a timely one for sure. I wonder if you would have had that on your list had we not all been locked out.

Speaker 1 Probably not. It's definitely a time for...
Walk to the pantry. Yeah, it's a time for self-reflection.
Like, dude, you suck at snacking correctly.

Speaker 4 My number two

Speaker 4 is going to be my memory.

Speaker 4 Just remembering things. I got a bad memory, always have had it.
Forgetful, I guess you could call it scatterbrained.

Speaker 4 But yes, it's tough for me to keep something. If I don't write it down, if I don't have it on my calendar, then I'm just going to forget about it probably.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, is this PFT telling on himself that the reason you guys screw up every snake draft you ever do is because of him, as it turns out?

Speaker 4 No, I think collectively we're bad.

Speaker 1 I think we're collectively bad. Okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 1 Yes, but yeah, I would say, yeah, there's definitely times you're like, hey, what are we doing today? Or what's going on? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, Mark, you're number two. All right.
My number two is small talk.

Speaker 1 And I have two, it's a double-pronged

Speaker 1 under the small talk umbrella. One is the reciprocal small talk, which is like I'm walking my dog, someone else is walking their dog, and they'll be like, oh, that's a cute dog.

Speaker 1 And I just say thanks and like keep walking. And it doesn't hit me until like five minutes later that I'm supposed to say like, oh, you have a cute dog too.
Or like, how old's your dog?

Speaker 1 Because they'll ask me all about my dog and I'll just sit there and answer every question. And I'm like, all right, see ya.
And I never ask them about their dog ever. Yep.
And I don't do it.

Speaker 1 I don't mean to be an asshole. It's just like, I'm not good at that at all.

Speaker 1 And the same thing with like, you know, a co-worker or somebody asks how my weekend is, I'll tell them, and then I'll just turn around and leave.

Speaker 1 And I don't ever think, like, oh, shit, now I'm supposed to.

Speaker 4 That person's really interested in me.

Speaker 1 It makes sense now how that whole ringer thing fell apart. Yeah, there you go.
Imagine if that was it. It was like all these theories online.
It's like, actually, Titus just sucks at small talk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's pretty much it. I moved out to LA.
I had to go into the office, and I was like, I can't be around this environment. People just like, hey, man, you want a coffee? And I'm like,

Speaker 1 freeze. And I was like, I quit my job.
Yes.

Speaker 4 Bill's like, which Pac-12 team correlates to characters in the Karate Kid? And you give him your answer, and you're like, all right, see you later, Bill.

Speaker 1 Take it easy.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, you're two.

Speaker 5 My second one, I'll go with taking shots. I can't take shots without looking like a huge pussy unless I'm really drunk.

Speaker 5 No, I mean, the Call of Duty was on my list, too, but Mark took that.

Speaker 5 But no, like, even if I want to take a shot, like, someone's like, you want a shot? And sometimes you're like, no, I don't.

Speaker 5 But even if I'm like, yes, I do want a shot when I take it, I just naturally, like, my face quivers up, and I just look like a huge bitch.

Speaker 1 It's a great call because there are definitely shot guys that can just do it, and they are always manlier.

Speaker 1 We're basically just cucking ourselves with this entire Mount Rushmore because it's like, you know, like the opposite of what we're saying is just like the manliest guy. He can fix everything.

Speaker 1 He can take take shots. He's got a guy for everyone.
He's sick at Call of Duty. Yeah, we're providers.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're definitely not making ourselves out to be alphas.

Speaker 4 But if you're a shot guy, I think it's because you're the person who orders the shot and you figured out that there's one shot that you can take really well.

Speaker 4 So maybe it's just, Hank, you need to figure out what your drink is and then you order that drink and make everyone else take your drink.

Speaker 5 Fair enough.

Speaker 5 And then my next one, I'll go with physically texting back. So a lot of the times I will get texts and I mentally respond to them all.
And then about 70, 50%, 75% of the time, I forget.

Speaker 5 And then I'll scroll back on my messages a few hours later or a day later and be like, this is so awkward now. Because I responded to you in my brain, but I forgot to text you back.

Speaker 5 And now you probably hate me or think I'm a douchebag.

Speaker 1 So that happens a good amount. I do think that a lot.
That's the response in the mind is definitely a problem that's like happened in the last like five years in society.

Speaker 1 I had that on my list, Hanks. So if it makes you feel better, I still call a duty from you.
You stole that from me. I'm the same way with emails too.
Emails and textbooks.

Speaker 1 I'm the king of like, so sorry for the late reply.

Speaker 1 Just now seeing this. It's like 18 days later on the email.

Speaker 1 So sorry, I got tied up. Corona, I will say Corona has been great.

Speaker 1 a great out for texting and emailing late. You can just say like all the craziness going on in the world.
Sorry, I got tied up just now seeing this. That's a good excuse.

Speaker 1 But yeah, you still have it for me, Hank. So I'm going to have to readjust here.
All right. You got your next one?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I'll go with this one.

Speaker 1 My number three is giving toasts.

Speaker 1 I have three toasts I give no matter what the, like, so I don't know. Maybe I am good at it, but like, I have no idea what to say.
So I just go with canned toasts.

Speaker 1 My three ones are, here's the new beginnings. I just say it's the new beginnings, raise my glass, that's it, which surprisingly covers a lot.

Speaker 1 But I stole that from just like, I think it was old school when Will Farrell gives Luke Wilson the toaster and he just says to new beginnings and hand it to him. I was like, wow, that one works.

Speaker 1 So I'll just raise a glass and say to new beginnings, even if it's not like a wedding or the birth of somebody or anything, just whatever.

Speaker 1 I do the Kramer one. Here's the feeling good all the time.

Speaker 1 And then the only other toast I have is Razor Ramon's Hall of Fame speech when he said, Harvard pays off, dreams come true, bad times don't last, but bad bad guys do. Yes, and that's it.

Speaker 1 And if I, and if it's not one of those three, and I have to like give a toast, I have no idea what to say.

Speaker 1 Uh, so I always, so anybody that's like knows me really well or spends a lot of time around me has heard me give those three toasts a thousand times in my life.

Speaker 1 Razor remote always works, so I'll give you a pass on that. I think if you give that, you're good.

Speaker 4 Okay, my next one:

Speaker 4 there's just so much stuff that I'm bad at. Um, I'm gonna say apologizing,

Speaker 4 Very bad at apologizing.

Speaker 4 It takes me a while sometimes to get around to it. Sorry, not sorry.
But I do eventually get around to it just apologizing in a timely fashion, admitting that I'm wrong about stuff.

Speaker 4 I never want to admit that I'm wrong about anything. It's a very bad quality to have.
And I'm working on it.

Speaker 1 Are you?

Speaker 4 I am working on it.

Speaker 1 Slowly.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd happen to agree with that one.

Speaker 1 Okay, my last two.

Speaker 1 I'm really, really bad at keeping my car clean, but it's in a very specifically terrible way. And I'm talking about like eating something

Speaker 1 and then just putting the wrapper, like stuffing the wrapper in like the side door and just fucking leaving it there, even though I pass a garbage can, like, where after I park my car, and it's the laziest thing that I do.

Speaker 1 Like, I will be that lazy, and it's horrible, but I'm elite at it. That's elite laziness, where I'll like eat something and just stuff it in there.

Speaker 1 And then maybe every two months, I'll go through and there'll be like 16 wrappers stowed away like a squirrel throughout my car in various places.

Speaker 4 I just get around that by not having a car anymore. But I, yeah, I was just messy with my cars just in general, but not in the same way.
Right.

Speaker 4 It was like always a new different surprise kind of fucked up in my car.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Like there's messy cars, and I understand that because I also have that, but like the messiness that I do is so fucking lazy and ridiculous when you like, I will actually consciously think about it sometimes, like finish, like have a coffee cup in my, in my car, park my car, and be like, now throw it out later.

Speaker 4 Do you ever run into the like your cup holder fills up with straw wrappers?

Speaker 1 Yeah. A dip spit? Like I'll just be like, now I'll throw it out later.
I got it later. Like that's.

Speaker 1 It's exceptional laziness that actually drives me insane, but something in my body like can't get me to do it then. I'm just like, ah, my hands are full.
My hands are never full, so it's terrible.

Speaker 1 Um, and then my last is: I

Speaker 1 am really, really

Speaker 1 good at

Speaker 1 like thinking,

Speaker 1 like, predicting something's gonna keep happening, and then having it go the exact opposite way, like we alluded to earlier. Like, I'm it's half stick, but it's actually really true.

Speaker 1 Like, the minute I have a really firm opinion about something, there's a good chance that the exact opposite will happen.

Speaker 1 Like, we talked about saying Greg Gard should be fired and then the Badgers not losing, literally not losing again. They did not lose another game.

Speaker 1 Like I will do that very confidently be like, Bears are back. Yeah, Bears are back.

Speaker 1 Like I do actually think the Bears are back when I tweet that and then they will 100% be not back or like, hey, I think this is the year Mitch will like actually make a step forward.

Speaker 1 And then it all goes. So I'm really, when I have my declarative sports ideas, and it can be in-game too.
Like if a team comes out and scores two touchdowns right away, I'm like, game over.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, they'll never score again. No, no, I'm kind of the same way.

Speaker 4 Just when you think you know something, that's when the universe pulls the rubber out from a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 And I'm really good at that. That's why I'm bad at that.

Speaker 4 I never trust anyone that has consistently strong opinions about everything. Right.
Because I'm like, every time I have a strong opinion about something, it's very, very wrong.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
So that's my four PFD. Your last one.

Speaker 4 My last one's just going to be balanced sports. I'm bad at balancing in general.
So I've always wanted to surf or skateboard. Can't do it.

Speaker 4 If I get on a skateboard, I guarantee you within probably less than a second, I will break my wrist.

Speaker 4 Very bad. I tried surfing one summer.
I lived at the beach. I was like, I'm definitely going to learn how to surf this year.

Speaker 4 Was not able to stand up. There were little kids that were way better than me, just like dropping in on my waves.

Speaker 4 Just very bad. I don't know if it's an equilibrium thing,

Speaker 4 but I just suck at balance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a good one. What is the...

Speaker 1 I was going to learn how to surf before they closed the beaches down. That was a goal of mine this summer, was to do the same thing, PFT.
What what were the pitfalls?

Speaker 1 You think it was just your balance, or was there anything like standing up on the board or something? Like beginners

Speaker 1 for me? Like, honestly,

Speaker 4 the entire process was bad. The waking up early in the morning, that sucked too.
But it's just, I think it's mostly just balance for me.

Speaker 4 Like, it doesn't matter if I'm on a balance beam, if I'm trying actually, you know what? I'm really good at doing the walk on one foot or stand on one foot and touch your nose in a sobriety test.

Speaker 4 So I can balance better when I'm drunk. So I'll amend that to saying sober balancing I'm bad at.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you ever try surfing drunk? Maybe that was it the whole time.
You just, yeah. I don't think I did.
I don't know. That's probably the key.
Yeah. You got to do that.

Speaker 1 All right, Mark, your last one.

Speaker 1 My final one. Ooh, I have a long list.
I'm going to go with, all right.

Speaker 1 I have a very long list.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with this one.

Speaker 1 I'm bad at the, because we've been talking about communication a little bit. I'm bad at the post-interview follow-up.

Speaker 1 So, like, this is kind of specific to people that host podcasts, which is, I guess, every American at this point. So maybe it's not as specific as I thought.

Speaker 1 I'm really good at the pre-interview thing where the guy comes on and you haven't started recording yet. And you're like, hey, man, how you doing? How you been? Good?

Speaker 1 Hey, where are you at these days? Right. You've been doing all that.
But then when the interview ends. Dan, you're really good at this to your credit.
I think we talked about this in the life episode.

Speaker 1 I do do it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're really good at it. I am horrible at it.
Like, as soon as we hang up on the air,

Speaker 1 when people come on my show, as soon as we hang up, like, the guy's dead to me, like, I don't ever, and it doesn't dawn on me to, like, reach out.

Speaker 1 Like, I really have to consciously, like, I don't know, I have to consciously remind myself, like, shit, I should text him, like, hey, thanks for doing that. Like, that would be a nice thing to do.

Speaker 1 So I'm trying to get better at that. I'm really good at the pre-thing interview, but I'm really bad at the follow-up.
Yeah, you are. I just want to miss it.

Speaker 1 I don't think you've ever followed up with me once, but I definitely.

Speaker 1 Because my whole thought is like, whenever someone does an interview, they always second-guess themselves right after they hang up. So, like, they're like, wait, did I say that?

Speaker 1 So, I always try to send that text to basically intercept that thought and be like, great job. I'm 100% awesome time.

Speaker 1 I'm 100% not getting a text after we get done with this. No, I am.
I've already started it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've already started it. You've already written it.
Yeah, yeah. Be like, dude, that was fucking hilarious.
Awesome job.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, your last one.

Speaker 5 Just sitting still.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you are. You're a busy boy.

Speaker 5 I can't do it.

Speaker 1 What about on a plane?

Speaker 5 It's when I just take a bunch of edibles and fall asleep.

Speaker 5 Smart. So if I'm asleep, I can sit still.
Yeah. When I'm awake, I can't.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Any that anyone missed? I really suck at

Speaker 1 spelling the difference between breathe and breath. I fuck that up all the time.

Speaker 1 It drives me nuts.

Speaker 4 I can't spell weird. A restaurant.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Restaurant sucks.

Speaker 5 I have worse grammar than PFT does, ironically.

Speaker 1 I actually get tips from Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 I observe him, and then I incorporate some of his little sayings.

Speaker 4 I can't reach things on top shelves. in grocery stores.
True. I've made the mistake of texting a bunch of my friends that I've known since I was in second grade.
What are some things that I'm bad at?

Speaker 4 And so they're still texting back right now. Like, just they're just roasting me continuously.
So I guess judgment. I've just had bad judgment for things.

Speaker 4 They told me to put dancing. I'm a bad dancer.
And clapper.

Speaker 1 Can't clap, can't dance.

Speaker 1 I like your clap.

Speaker 4 I think it's good. My clap has improved.
It's cute. It's improved a little bit.
It's so cute.

Speaker 4 They also said facial hair. Obviously, everyone knows that.
Oh, I have terrible handwriting. Do you guys have good handwriting?

Speaker 1 I have decent handwriting, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I had that on my list. Bad handwriting.
Strong hands. What do you have that you missed, Mark?

Speaker 1 I have ordering for the table.

Speaker 1 I got a trick for you if you want one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what is it?

Speaker 5 You just sit down right away and order pancakes for the table.

Speaker 1 I just made that up. Wait.
You mean like you go to brunch or something with a big group of friends?

Speaker 5 You're fucking guys? No.

Speaker 1 You fucking invented yourself.

Speaker 5 Like sit away right away and just don't even give anyone a chance to just order pancakes for the table.

Speaker 4 That's brilliant, Hank.

Speaker 1 So it's almost like nobody wants to order their own pancakes but everybody want a bite right exactly exactly wait titus i thought that was fornelli's talk are you are are you uh are you saying like people say hey can you order for us

Speaker 1 no no no this is this is uh our guy tommy alters the king of this um yes every every everything i learned every insecurity i have at dinners at group dinners comes from eating with tommy um

Speaker 1 and this is one of them where like tommy orders for the table and it feels so emasculating when he just like when everyone starts talking and they're like, yeah, let's get some appetizers.

Speaker 1 Let's get some stuff, whatever.

Speaker 1 And then I'm kind of like making a mental note of what I would like. But then the waiter comes by and Tommy's like, we're going to do this.

Speaker 1 And he just starts ripping things off and then hands the menu and then they walk away and I don't get to say anything. So I started getting in my brain where I was like, I want to do that.

Speaker 1 I want to be the guy that just orders for the table so then I get what I want.

Speaker 1 And then the few times I've tried it, like.

Speaker 1 It's basically just me. It's like, again, once again, it's kind of a theme with everything I'm saying.
Everything is selfish. And like

Speaker 1 the things I ordered, no one else wants and i'm just sitting there eating everything uh so yeah i don't know how to read the room i guess with like what people want to eat and what is like a good group appetite

Speaker 4 like what i want and i just assume that other people are going to want it and they never do i thought it just you're assertive yeah i i think it's about how you say it not so much what you say because sometimes Tommy will order something and I'm like, I didn't want that necessarily, but I'm like, okay, I guess we're eating it because people want to be led, right?

Speaker 4 Yes. So if you just, if you step up the assertiveness and you're like, hey, we're getting the escar go and you guys are going to fucking enjoy it.
Then everyone's like, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 I love

Speaker 4 ground bugs.

Speaker 1 Titus, are you a big, like, I'll have what he's having? Because that's a fucking pussy ass move. No, no, okay, good.
I don't do that. Yeah.
I'll change my order at the last second if I

Speaker 1 hate copycat orders.

Speaker 1 They're the worst. I can't do that.
Yeah. I can't do that.

Speaker 1 And then the only other, another thing I had was knowing breeds of cats.

Speaker 1 I don't know any

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 The only breed of cat I know is Siamese, and that's because they're connected to one another. Whoa, whoa.
What about Tabby?

Speaker 4 They're the ones from that cartoon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 We are Siamese, if you please.

Speaker 1 We are Siamese, if you don't please. We are residents from Siamese.

Speaker 1 There is no finer cat than I am. What is that?

Speaker 4 I think it might be the... Is it Ricky Tikki Tabby?

Speaker 1 No, it's the one where they come to a

Speaker 4 coming to America?

Speaker 1 That's not the one.

Speaker 4 And the one cat plays everyone in the barbershop.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Tabby, you know Tabby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There can be silver tabbies or orange tabbies. I didn't know that until right now.
I was this day's old when I found that out. What about Calico?

Speaker 1 Who's a black cat? What is that called? Black Cat. Black Cat.
Black Cat. Black Jinx.

Speaker 4 You're in trouble.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know anything about cats.

Speaker 1 And then I had carnival games. I suck at carnival games, and it's really exciting because I'm white trash from the middle of nowhere, Indiana.
And

Speaker 1 I've been to a billion carnivals in my life, and I've played every game a billion times, and I suck at all of them, and it's very frustrating. Yeah, it's in your brain.

Speaker 1 You think I'd be good to like one. Yeah, I mean, they're ringed, but yeah, don't beat yourself up.

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 Titus is like, dude, I can never fucking get the ping-pong ball in the goldfish. It's like, dude, the holes don't fit.
Like, what are you talking about? Suck at three-card monsters.

Speaker 1 This fucking ring game. It's impossible.

Speaker 1 You've been beating yourself up all your life. Damn, dude.

Speaker 1 All right, Titus and Tate. Everyone go vote on this draft.
Fox Sports has their best fans, Bracket.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 We're going to release this on Friday. We'll decide which team we're going to throw our weight behind.

Speaker 4 Everyone go listen to Titus and Tate, too. Where can they find you right now?

Speaker 1 You can find us.

Speaker 1 We're affiliated with Legend One, but just go to where our podcasts are. Google Titus and Tate.
We're doing fantastic quarantine content.

Speaker 1 it's a great time to have a podcast, great time to launch a college basketball show.

Speaker 1 Everything is coming up, Titus and Tate. Could not be going any smoother.
Check it out.

Speaker 1 All right, man. Thanks so much.
All right. Love you guys.
Later. Love you, Chevy.

Speaker 8 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 8 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 8 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's get some segments. And we got a movie review.

Speaker 3 The first segment, I don't even know what we'll call it. It maybe is, it's just that is Stephen A.
Smith back on the weed?

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 3 he, I don't know if you guys saw, but he was doing a question, a QA on Twitter. And

Speaker 3 on, I think it was Wednesday, someone said, stay off the weeds, stay safe, Stephen A.

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 a little different than what we thought his response would be. He said, not something I'd say at this moment in time, bro.

Speaker 3 The way things are going, I can't blame anyone for anything legal they do right now. Stephen A.
Smith just condoned legal marijuana.

Speaker 3 I think he actually now can win election as president of the United States.

Speaker 4 Chief and A. Smith.
Yeah, I think he can too. Who would vote against? I mean, no one is going to beat him in in a debate unless he's going up against Skip Bayless.

Speaker 4 But like, there's, I would vote for Stephen A.

Speaker 3 He, he also said, uh, someone said, wow, think of the kids. Dope isn't safe.
And Stephen said, don't be an idiot. I'm not encouraging anyone to do weed or anything like that.

Speaker 3 I was saying right now is not the time to play

Speaker 3 around decrying weed smoking. There are bigger fish to fry.

Speaker 3 Agreed. Stephen A.
Smith is fried.

Speaker 4 He would know. Well, he's a bottom feeder.
He's a catfish guy. He likes the booty.
So booty and weed for Stephen A. right now.
I think

Speaker 4 good for him for evolving a little bit on this. I guess it takes an entire country being locked inside their house with nothing else to do.
So you might as well just like smoke what you have around.

Speaker 4 Also, like Stephen A. Smith, he should be encouraging this from the get-go because I want to say like 50% of first takes audience is just people who got high and forgot to go to class.

Speaker 3 Or forgot to turn off the TV, more importantly. Yeah.

Speaker 3 They got high the night before got high again when they woke up and they're like oh fuck espn's still on first takes one of those charmed on tnt or whatever uh during march madness you always like wake up in the morning or you go to the gym in the morning and that show is still on like above the treadmills yes yeah it's a it's a big time oh i forgot to turn my tv off it's it's essentially the perfect i watched i watched the late night uh warriors versus clippers game getting high and then woke up at like like 9 45 and was like, you know what?

Speaker 3 I'm just going to get high real quick. And then, oh shit, now I'm trapped watching an entire episode of First Day.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's, yeah. I've woken up many a time to that like bass pro fishing shot, like sign at the very start of it.
And it's Wale doing the intro or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 That's like an alarm clock for me.

Speaker 3 All right. So our next segment is Bill O'Brien, Kingstay Kings.
Bill O'Brien is traded for Brandon Cooks, which I don't know. I'm going to look this up right now.
I'm pretty sure Brandon Cooks

Speaker 3 has probably, maybe outside of Sam Bradford, received the most picks for, like, in compensation for his trade value.

Speaker 5 How old do you think Brandon Cooks is?

Speaker 3 He's young. 27.
Yeah, he's like 28.

Speaker 4 25. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Holy shit.

Speaker 4 That's crazy. And he's been traded, what, five times?

Speaker 3 He's no, less than

Speaker 3 four times, I think.

Speaker 4 Well, he was traded

Speaker 3 to the Patriots, to the Rams, and then from the Rams to the Texans. No, this would be his fourth team.

Speaker 4 Wasn't he on the Saints for a little bit?

Speaker 3 Yes, Saints, Patriots, Rams, Texans. Okay.

Speaker 4 And also, he's well on his way to breaking Sam Bradford's record. This is like when Tiger Woods got off to his hot start against Jack Winson.
So

Speaker 4 he's got to show he can do it for an extended period of time. But I think that right now,

Speaker 4 it wouldn't shock me if Brandon Cooks played on 10 NFL teams.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and he and then also you got to count the trade

Speaker 3 for Malcolm Butler that never happened.

Speaker 4 That's true.

Speaker 3 That should count. That was a lot of smoke around that trade.
That should absolutely count. We were all fucked that way.

Speaker 3 So he was traded in 2017 for a first-round pick. The Patriots traded for him for a first-round pick.
And then

Speaker 3 one year later.

Speaker 3 Yeah, sorry. One year later, he was traded for

Speaker 3 a first-round pick. So it was Cooks and a fourth-rounder for a first-round pick.
And now he's been traded again for, what was it, a fourth-round pick?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 his value is starting to go downhill, but he still has a nice resume that he's gotten traded for two firsts and a fourth at this point.

Speaker 3 And Bill O'Brien has, you know, finished off one of the more bizarre offseasons where he had, I don't know,

Speaker 3 top three wide receiver in the entire game and traded him away for nothing and then traded for Brandon Cooks. and is like, yeah, this is good.
We'll be fine.

Speaker 4 I would say it's almost even an upgrade because

Speaker 4 look at Brandon Cooks. Four different teams have wanted him on their roster.

Speaker 4 DeAndre Hopkins, only one team besides the Texans has wanted him. So I mean, to me, it seems like he's more in demand than DeAndre Hopkins even is.
But yeah, good for Brandon Cooks.

Speaker 4 I have a theory about Bill O'Brien, though, going into this draft.

Speaker 4 Bill O'Brien, if you were to make a leaderboard of who I thought was going to fuck up the technology the most using the remote drafting software, Bill O'Brien, the head coach and Bill O'Brien, the GM, would be at the top of my list for that.

Speaker 4 I don't see that either one of them as being technology guys. And even if they were, his butt chin would probably set off weird pornography filters and get him kicked offline a few times.

Speaker 4 So I don't see him being good at that. I think he's trying to get rid of as many assets as he can, knowing that that's just one less thing he's going to screw up on draft night.

Speaker 3 Mike Zimmer definitely is going to be up there. Um, but he got assets back in the DeAndre Hopkins.
So he's basically, he's still net, I think, up

Speaker 3 picks. I think they have more picks than they started with because they've traded

Speaker 3 away. So, yeah, so he, so he's actually wants to, wants to get Randy on this fucking draft.
I just think Bill O'Brien, honestly, is simply saying, uh,

Speaker 3 nothing is going to stop me. So I'm just going to just do whatever is in.

Speaker 3 Like, he probably, I wouldn't be shocked if in like four or five years, we have an E60 maybe maybe Jeremy Schapp is interviewing him and he's like yeah I I just did whatever God told me to do you know or like you know I had a higher calling and it was to trade all my good players for shitty players and see if that worked out and then it just didn't but something is up where he's not listening to any kind of common sense at this point and it's almost getting I'm I'll say this I'm almost becoming a Bill O'Brien fan because there is that level where like stupidity becomes so stupid that it's absolutely hilarious, and you root for it because now he's an underdog.

Speaker 4 Well, if a really, really stupid guy is going up against a bunch of averagely smart guys, like other NFL head coaches, some of them, some of them. I'm saying you got your, you got your NFL.

Speaker 4 Okay, let's look at his division right now.

Speaker 3 Okay, you got Vrabel, genius, Doug Marone, genius, genius, Reich, whatever. Dude, we don't know.
We don't know. Come on the podcast.

Speaker 4 Come on the podcast and and we'll decide how smart you are. But if you're, if you act really, really dumb, there'll be a lot of people that think that you must know something.

Speaker 1 And so then they'll outfit themselves.

Speaker 4 So maybe that's what Bill O'Brien's trying to do in this circumstance. But I think if you were to give me, like,

Speaker 4 make me predict who's going to fuck up this virtual draft, I would still have O'Brien. Zimmer is absolutely a great choice.

Speaker 4 The Cowboys, Jerry Jones, Fails Son, I think is going to be running the show down there. Well, those would be my big three.

Speaker 3 Jerry Jones simply trying to like rip the iPad out of Stephen Jones' hands and having it fall and log out is definitely on the table.

Speaker 4 Here, Jerry Jones still opens up his web browser, it's probably Netscape, and it goes to backpage.com. And it's just a big this website, has been seized by the FBI logo.

Speaker 4 So he hasn't been able to use the internet for years.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, Jerry Jones, like it will break in Arlington. The internet will break, and he'll be like, we got to get our I.T.
guy on it.

Speaker 3 And he'll look over and it will be like like his, his, uh, one of his like fifth grandson, who's like 19, who's head of the entire IT department at Jerry World. And he'd be like, sorry, dad.

Speaker 3 It's like, grandpa, I'll get it done. And just fiddling with all the fucking chords because all he does is hire his own fucking idiot family.

Speaker 4 Yeah, his grandson who like does nothing but play Minecraft at the dinner table. Jerry's like, you seem to know those computers pretty good.

Speaker 3 Yeah, what is this TikTok? Yeah, I got a job for you. Pays $3 million a year.

Speaker 3 Ooh.

Speaker 3 Ooh.

Speaker 4 What does that mean again, Hank?

Speaker 1 Solo.

Speaker 5 When you want to make a draft pick, but you're shy.

Speaker 3 Shy, shy.

Speaker 4 When you want to make a draft pick, but you're shy.

Speaker 4 Michael Jerry is trying to get you to take Johnny Manzilla again.

Speaker 3 Last but not least. Oh, no, we have you had a board idea, PFT, the Twitch channel.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do?

Speaker 4 I had a board idea. I notes app myself in the middle of the night last night.
You guys ever do that?

Speaker 4 Where you like, you wake up and you have an idea and you just write something down your notes app and then you wake up in the morning.

Speaker 4 You're like, what was I thinking with this and so that's kind of what i did uh and this will show you just how bored i am i made a note to buy myself a dvd player and then go live on twitch just on the screensaver dvd screen where it bounces off all four sides until it hits the corner and then log how many times it's hit the wall before it hits the corner and uh how much time has passed before it hits the corner because people will watch that type of stuff and i think i would actually watch it too there's this um i remember reading about this thing a couple years ago.

Speaker 4 It was a big ball of ink that would drop one drop of ink once every two years.

Speaker 4 And there was a huge community of people that would just tune in and watch it live. So this is kind of like similar.

Speaker 4 I don't know how long it's going to take to hit the corner, but I do know that I will watch that home screen until it does.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely. And then we have that Twitch.
We're going to be here forever. So might as well watch.

Speaker 5 We're going to do it today.

Speaker 3 Oh, on Friday. Yeah, yeah, it's Friday.
I forgot.

Speaker 3 right? What time? I forgot PFT.

Speaker 4 Pick a time.

Speaker 4 When are you done with the ActiveCat?

Speaker 3 2 o'clock.

Speaker 4 2.30.

Speaker 3 2.30. Done.
Done.

Speaker 5 Part of my take on Twitch.

Speaker 3 There we go.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so make sure you follow it. PFT, you have an ad before we get to our movie review.

Speaker 4 Yeah, before we start talking about the garbage pick and field goal kicker Philadelphia phenomenon.

Speaker 1 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boar's Head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 1 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 1 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, Hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 1 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 1 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's wrap it up with, by the way, we have Brooks Kepka, recurring guest on Monday, and then we're going to get into draft mode. We're getting hard into the paint on draft mode.

Speaker 3 We're going to have a lot of great draft content for everyone. Get ready for the draft.
So we did Tiger King. We did

Speaker 3 King of Kong. We took a little bit of a left turn here and did a Disney movie from 1998 called The Garbage Kicking Field or Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon.

Speaker 3 Starring Tony Danza. It has

Speaker 3 a 5.1 in IMDB. Do we know what the Rotten Tonatoes is or is it even ranked?

Speaker 4 I'll look it up right now.

Speaker 4 That's surprisingly low. Surprisingly high.

Speaker 4 I truly enjoyed it.

Speaker 3 It was,

Speaker 3 there were multiple times where I was like, they made this movie.

Speaker 3 The entire movie. And then, more importantly, the NFL let them use logos.
That was the crazy part. Also, especially not only logos, let them use actual game footage.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But, like, everything. I was like, draft.
I remember draft day was a huge deal because it's like, oh, we have all the logos. Like, the NFL has bought in.
It's like, what was before draft day?

Speaker 3 Oh, Tony Danza in a low-rent fucking movie, slapstick, slap dick movie about kicking field goals.

Speaker 3 Was Rotten Tomato?

Speaker 4 I'm looking up the Rotten Tomatoes right now. I don't think that it is on there.

Speaker 3 I think it's a good idea.

Speaker 3 No, in all fairness,

Speaker 3 I actually liked this movie for this simple fact.

Speaker 3 I don't think I've ever seen a movie that decided in the first five minutes, they would basically like make you chug every plot point and foreshadowing mechanic like right as you got in there.

Speaker 3 Like right when we started, it was bang, bang, bang, bang. You know, he, he, Tony Danza is a garbage man.
His son's ashamed of him. There's new owners in Philadelphia.

Speaker 3 We don't know what to do with their team. His dad just wants him to win a Super Bowl.
Oh, and also he has a bad relationship with his dad. And like all these.

Speaker 4 I was skipping over in the first like 30 seconds of the movie where it showed him loading up the garbage truck and he has to kick the lever on the garbage truck to make it work.

Speaker 3 and he's got a much stronger leg than his co-worker and his friend said and his co-worker was like what do you keep this truck for he's like loyalty oh okay well this will come back to play they basically just opened your mouth and shoved every single plot line into your face like no character development whatsoever that was just it like the first time that he saw his son his son was like he was like hey kid what do you want to want to go throw the rock out there and he's like his son was like yeah i'm gonna go i'm gonna go play with my friend's dad.

Speaker 3 It's like, oh, here we go. They don't like it.
Like, is it this kid is ashamed of his dad? And like, the first time we see the grandfather, the grandfather's like to Tony Dan's like, you're a quitter.

Speaker 3 You always have been.

Speaker 4 Right off the bat, the first thing that they had the grandfather do was get really pissed off at the Eagles for never winning a game and saying, I'm going to cut off the kicker's foot with my buck knife.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And so you could see exactly where everything was going.

Speaker 4 They didn't really try to build anything up, but listen, I liked it.

Speaker 3 Well, they did. They They just did it very fast.
It was like a speed round.

Speaker 4 I liked it for the simple fact that, and you might not understand this.

Speaker 4 Maybe I'm like a little bit grittier of a person than you are, but like a garbage man and a field goal kicker are two very similar occupations. You don't get a lot of respect from people.

Speaker 4 They don't look at you as

Speaker 3 garbage man.

Speaker 3 I respect garbage men.

Speaker 4 No, I'm saying just like I'm saying across the board. A lot of times people are not.

Speaker 3 No, I respect garbage men.

Speaker 4 A lot of times people talk trash about garbage men until you need one, right? You talk trash about a good kicker until you need one.

Speaker 4 The field goal kickers are essential services, and people forget that until you need one. So like I like the symmetry there on both sides.

Speaker 4 I also thought that he was like an independent garbage man at the start of the movie. I didn't realize that he worked for the city.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Because it felt like he was bringing in his haul and then his boss was paying him like...

Speaker 4 for the garbage that he brought in. So I thought maybe he was like an independent, but no, he worked for the city of Philadelphia.
There was a lot of pride there.

Speaker 4 It was like a, it's like a Disney version of Rocky, except instead of having a really great story about a boxer, it was Tony Danza that was like half-ass kicking field goals.

Speaker 3 Well, Tony Danza too,

Speaker 3 his field goal kicking the straightaway old school, which is awesome.

Speaker 3 The coach, it didn't make sense that the, the, I don't know if you, you noticed, but the grandfather at the beginning was like, just one time I want to see my Eagles win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 And then they're like, yeah, this coach has been here for 22 years. What fucking coach is going to be there for 22 years without winning a Super Bowl?

Speaker 4 I mean, that's the Eagles' way.

Speaker 3 This was like

Speaker 3 in Philadelphia.

Speaker 4 It was interesting being transported back to what, 1995? Is that what it came?

Speaker 3 Eight.

Speaker 4 What? 1998?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 4 By the way, Rotten Tomatoes score 46%.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 That's not bad.

Speaker 5 Better than like every Adam Sandler movie ever made.

Speaker 3 I actually, now, now that I'm thinking about it, I think that what they did was they made this movie in 1998, but when they pitched it, they're like, hey, Tony, and you know, Disney was like, hey, Tony, we got this movie script for you, but we're only going to use

Speaker 3 the equipment and resources that we had available to us in 1990. Like, we're going to just use all the old stuff that we have on a yard sale in the back of the lot.

Speaker 3 And that's how they made this movie. Because I was shocked too when it was like, wait, this was 1998? Like, wasn't 1998 the matrix yeah yeah this yeah the reason the reason the coach

Speaker 4 came out like after jurassic park after the matrix after the new star wars movie i think

Speaker 4 this and these are the the special effects that they use on this i think at one point it was just like they added a digital ball flying across the field that was the big like special effects budget oh yeah when he when he missed a 75 yard field goal and let his family down

Speaker 3 yeah it went right by and then in the last scene when i i hope there's no spoilers because everyone watched it i'm sure sure you did when he look when he looks straight up to try to catch the ball and it's like for about three seconds they just went to cgi for no reason whatsoever yeah um i want to put one in the earhole of the elementary school teacher in this movie so kind of hot by the way at this at the start of the movie one of the big talk devices

Speaker 5 i am not kidding you i had the thought i was like that's like the producer or director like this is like uh i'm gonna give you this role like yeah because i want to bang you that's what i'm

Speaker 4 That's why I said I would, I want to put one in the earhole of the teacher, um, who, by the way, at the very start of the movie, they had career day, which is a very good plot device to use to show that a son is ashamed of his father's profession, is that he doesn't want to bring him in for career day.

Speaker 4 And the teacher got really, really horny because a pilot was talking to the class. So, like, yes, you're right.

Speaker 4 This is 1998, but that's a mindset, like falling in love with the pilot because he's talking about flying. Like, that's big 1978 energy right there.
That's 20 years before.

Speaker 4 And so what made this really lazy, though, is that was what they used to show the son being ashamed of his dad at the start.

Speaker 4 And then at the end of the movie, she had another career day where he was like, I really want to bring my dad in for this. It's like, who has two career days in the span of two months?

Speaker 4 It's the world's laziest teacher that ran out of movies to play on that little cart that she wheels in when she's hungover. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, it was, and Tony Danza Danza pulling out the rat to think, like, I thought the kids were actually in the wrong there.

Speaker 3 Like, if someone comes in for Career Day and pulls out an oversized rat out of a bag, that's like a oh fuck, that's kind of cool thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was a stuffed rat, too. It was taxidermy, it's not like it smelled.

Speaker 3 So, um, yeah, the coach, the reason the coach stuck around is because he was also the person that was doing like uh bed checks, he was doing like weight physicals, like there was no assistant coaches, 500 pounds, he was just doing every single part.

Speaker 5 That guy is dead, by the way. RIP.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 5 Respects. Respects to that guy.
And my other note was it was really insensitive about concussions.

Speaker 5 They really made light of the fact that there's a lot of brain damage going on in the NFL.

Speaker 1 It's a good point, Hank.

Speaker 3 It's a good point.

Speaker 3 This is 1998. This is before Bob Lee

Speaker 3 got his teeth in the NFL. It was the whole thing was like, I felt like they were,

Speaker 3 the writers were like, how many

Speaker 3 like lame plot lines like tropes can we stuff into one

Speaker 5 70 minute movie and they did it and then they did it and they crushed it it also seems like the type of movie where they're like all right we're gonna get paid this much money let's shoot and film it in as little possible time so we can make like as much money as possible like we're gonna film the whole thing in two days i i do want to say I think that the Silver Linings playbook stole a little from this.

Speaker 3 Like there was a little bit of that vibe. Yeah.
yeah so this

Speaker 3 one invincible yeah and this might have been like

Speaker 3 uh the what is the name of the movie i keep getting it wrong the garbage kick the garbage picking field goal kicking philadelphia phenomenon phenomenon walked so that the silver linings playbook could run and win an oscar yeah uh the the color of the eagles jersey what is that green that it was in the mid 90s or the late 90s which is not the good green yeah it makes me

Speaker 4 want puke it just makes me want to miss.

Speaker 4 It makes me miss the old school like 70s bright Kelly green that the Eagles used to wear. But yeah, I think it was before Andy.

Speaker 3 No, it was right before Andy. I think Andy Reed got hired in 99, I want to say.

Speaker 4 Yeah. One of my favorite parts of the movie, though, was the marketing vice president that worked very closely with the owner.
Like the owner wanted to cut.

Speaker 4 Tony Danza or keep him off the team, but it was Christmas Eve.

Speaker 4 And the marketing assistant was like, you can't cut a player on christmas eve and the owner was like you're right i can't congrats you're back on the squad yeah it was like a big godfather i can't refuse a request on my daughter's wedding it's a wonderful life

Speaker 3 yeah yeah yeah it also uh my last point on it is that it was ahead of its time because when they did the uh let's chug as many plot lines as possible speed dating in the first five minutes i love the owner being like i'm an eagles fan my whole life.

Speaker 3 I love this city. And they're like, so you're not going to move? And he's like, yeah.
He's like, so you're going to stay at the at this current stadium? He's like, whoa, didn't say that.

Speaker 3 We need a new stadium. Like, hey, look, there's every problem that every ownership

Speaker 3 team has ever had

Speaker 3 for the next 25 years. Owners are going to be doing this.
Stan Cronke probably watched this and was like, oh, this is how it's done.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 4 that gave him the roadmap for the next 15 years of his career.

Speaker 3 Was that Mike?

Speaker 5 My only other note was that the wife was a real pushover. Like, I was really excited to hear him trying to explain that paparazzi picture, and he never had to.

Speaker 4 She just let him back in.

Speaker 3 Oh, did he, did he, by the way,

Speaker 3 in the paparazzi picture, did he

Speaker 3 fall down because he was like, oh my God, I just cheated on my wife? Or, oh, my God, this chick is so hot.

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 4 Wait, he cheated on his wife?

Speaker 3 You don't remember the scene?

Speaker 4 I must have fallen asleep during the scene.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 when i say

Speaker 3 the booger the booger psa after this was amazing when they're like drinking doesn't solve problems yes yeah yeah yeah uh this was

Speaker 3 this was another plot line that they threw in there like i'm not kidding they they literally just i we could list all of like the tropes that they did in this movie he so it wasn't that he cheated on his wife some woman came up to him and goes hey are you the guy are you the garbage picking field goal kicking guy and he's like yeah he's like can i get a pick and they take a picture and just as they're about to take a picture she starts kissing him on the lips and then walks off and so then that picture got sold to the very noted paparazzi in Philadelphia in 1998 everywhere and and that ended up the wife was like oh my god he cheated on me even though like again we didn't have enough time to do a full affair so that's how they kind of stuff that one in I got you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the paparazzi in Philadelphia, the guys that print out, they just print out pictures on newsreel and then they put it like underneath your cheesesteak when they serve it to you.

Speaker 3 He got kicked out of the house. You got kicked out of the house.

Speaker 4 Okay, I thought, admittedly, besides the part I fell asleep for, it was a great movie.

Speaker 4 I thought that actually him and Bubba might have been fucking. That's my fan theory.
I think that his roommate,

Speaker 4 who is the 360-pound left tackle, I think that they were fucking coached.

Speaker 4 busted on them a few times when they were both sweaty out of breath in their room they had to like cover themselves up with the covers i think there was something going on there behind the scenes Okay.

Speaker 5 The other, the other, my other note was like, what an absolute fraud to get cut from the team and then be like, I'm retiring, honey. I just want to be with my family.
Like, you got cut.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I decided to walk away.

Speaker 5 It was my last game. Like, you had to beg to even get a last game.

Speaker 1 One other thing.

Speaker 4 I'd never realized this before, but Tony Danzer brought it up when he was talking to Bubba.

Speaker 4 about how he always sleeps closest to the door out of instinct to protect the person that he's sharing a room with. Yes.
I've always done that too.

Speaker 4 Every single time I've shared a bed with some, every single time. I had not thought about it until just now in like probably seven or eight different houses or apartments or whatever.

Speaker 3 I'm always closest to the door.

Speaker 4 That's my, I don't know why. I never really sat down and thought about it, but Tony Danz is fucking right.
The guy sleeps closest to the door.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 4 Always. Hank's got this,

Speaker 4 sheepish look on his face. Like, I don't.

Speaker 5 I've never even, it's just something I've never even thought about, I guess.

Speaker 3 It's like walking closest on the side of traffic. Yep.
Somebody. You got to do it.
Yeah, that's somebody's daughter. All right.
That is our show.

Speaker 3 If you have a movie you want us to watch, if you have a documentary you want us to watch, we're going to have one for next Friday.

Speaker 5 Have the one for next week.

Speaker 3 We have one for next week. And then we also have Billy coming up on Monday.

Speaker 3 Hank's going to try to rein him in, but I love Untapped Billy. I think it's the best because he just goes and you don't know where you're going to end up.

Speaker 3 He's basically the Josh McCown masturbation PSA. Like, you don't know where if you're going to end up in Detroit or Omaha.
But we have Billy, we have Brooks Kepka, and we will see everyone on Monday.

Speaker 3 Yeah, real quick.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're right, Piquette. It's like a jazz solo when Billy gets going, just freeform shit.
So let him cook, Hank.

Speaker 4 Next Friday is the scheme, right?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 4 The scheme on HBO. So I think it's out.
It's on demand. You can watch it right now.
Or if you have any other suggestions, send them in to us. Shout out to Cassidy.

Speaker 4 This is actually Cassidy from the Dallas Renegades of the XFL who sent this in for us to watch. So, shout out to her.
If you have anything else to send in, let us know.

Speaker 3 All right, we'll see everyone Monday.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 say. I'd say anyway.

Speaker 4 Today is another day to find

Speaker 4 shy away.

Speaker 4 No, I've been coming for your love of king.

Speaker 4 Shot it away.

Speaker 4 No, I've been coming for your love of king.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 to

Speaker 4 need less to say.

Speaker 4 I'm once a day.

Speaker 4 But we stone a little way.

Speaker 4 Something

Speaker 4 that I can shake.

Speaker 4 Say after me.

Speaker 4 Life's no better to be safe.

Speaker 4 Say after me.

Speaker 4 Life's not better to be safe, but sorry.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 to

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 All the things that you say,

Speaker 4 though, just a brave worries away.

Speaker 4 You're all the things I've got to remember. If you shine away,

Speaker 4 love them coming through.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day.