Scott Van Pelt, NFL 100 - Wide Receivers, Mt Flushmore Of TV Characters

1h 35m

People are trying to bring sports back and we're excited. Dana White is living the dream and a biodome might happen (2:12 - 12:42). We discuss the NFL 100 Wide Receiver list (12:42 - 24:49). Hot Seat/ Cool Throne (24:49 - 36:22). Scott Van Pelt joins the show to talk about life with no sports, how far Maryland would have gone in the tourney, no longer fighting with twitter trolls, and the upcoming NFL Draft (36:22 - 70:58). Mt Flushmore of TV Characters, shoe roast for the Bucs new uniform and guys on chicks.


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Runtime: 1h 35m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Scott Van Pelt, old friend, recurring guest, on the show. Talk about World Without Sports.
Talk about when sports would be back.

Speaker 1 Talk about how far Maryland would have gone. And he's totally not mad about the fact that they had to share share a title with Wisconsin this year in Big Ten basketball.

Speaker 1 We have Sports Maybe coming back.

Speaker 3 Well actually, no,

Speaker 3 Wisconsin won the NCAA title according to ESPN. Correct.
According to Scott's boss.

Speaker 1 ESPN BPI.

Speaker 1 We have Sports Maybe coming back. We have NFL 100 wide receiver list, Hot Seat Cool Throne, Mount Flushmore of TV characters, and some guys on chicks.
So a pack show for everyone.

Speaker 4 When Cool Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the treat, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then I love some work to be done.

Speaker 1 Low place behind a lot of washing

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 3 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 1 Go download it right now. Use code Barstool.
You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, April 8th, and I feel great, boys.
We're going to have a positive show because

Speaker 1 they're trying to bring sports back.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a big debate we have to have. Is that light at the end of the tunnel or is it a train? We don't know.
Because every time they say...

Speaker 3 Major League Baseball, we're coming back summer like six days or six hours later, they have to clarify the report and be like, actually, the person who said that has not talked to anybody.

Speaker 3 They're just hoping. But I think that

Speaker 3 it sounds more and more like there will be sports at some point this summer. We don't know what that format's going to look like.
We don't know if there will be fans in attendance.

Speaker 1 Golf is scheduled.

Speaker 3 There are going to be drones flying behind each golfer. Yep.

Speaker 1 Golf is scheduled. Dana White purchased an island.
Island.

Speaker 3 He's doing Fight Island.

Speaker 1 Dana White. And I know people don't like him, but...
Dude, that guy is out there. He is just doing what we, like, what I would dream of doing.
Being like, hey, how can I find sports?

Speaker 1 How can I figure out a way to keep my league going? I'm going to buy a fucking island. Like, that is

Speaker 1 the stupid hypothetical you throw around with your friends when you're like 14 years old. You're like, what would you do if you were a millionaire thinking a million dollars is like a lot of money?

Speaker 1 But like, I would buy a fucking island, have people fight on it. Easy.

Speaker 3 Fight Island. Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I would steal the idea from Mortal Kombat, who stole it from Bloodsport, who stole it from Karate Kid, who stole it from Gilligan's Island, and I would just have people engaged in combat on my island in the middle of the ocean somewhere.

Speaker 3 Hell yes. Yeah, I mean, Dana White's entire life has kind of been like an eight-year-old who thinks that they have a million dollars.

Speaker 3 And we're going to have a tournament, and people are going to fight each other, and then the winner is going to get a big, cool gold belt.

Speaker 1 So here's what's happening when I see this stuff. There are people who are saying, oh, my God, this is ridiculous.
How could you ever think about this in this global pandemic? Okay, got it. But

Speaker 1 let's actually think about it because I would imagine that getting sports back will bring the normalcy that we need in the world to have everyone feel like, oh, my God, world's coming back, you know, a little bit, even if it is baseball in front of no fans.

Speaker 1 So all those people shut up. The other group of people who are like, well, we're basically treating the players like pieces of meat.

Speaker 1 I kind of see that, but I would also imagine players want to get paid, right? Because eventually, if all the leagues cancel, they're not going to be able to pay everyone.

Speaker 3 Well, the cap's going to go down eventually instead of going up, and then that creates a whole other mess of problems. I understand.

Speaker 3 It sounds bad to be like, okay, we're going to do the Jay Williams idea and quickly.

Speaker 1 No, I love players on a club. I love it.

Speaker 3 It sounds bad off the top of your head.

Speaker 1 No, I love it.

Speaker 3 But at the same time, we have a morale problem in America. And one easy way to distract us from all the bad stuff that's happening is just give us sports to watch on TV.

Speaker 1 Here's what I think we need to propose, PFT, because people who are like, well, we can't force these players to play. And I agree, you shouldn't have to force anyone to do anything here.

Speaker 1 If they can figure out a way to make it as safe as possible and everyone can go play and get paid and bring back a little normalcy to life. I think the whole entire world, I'm talking everyone.

Speaker 1 We got the census right now

Speaker 1 in your mailbox. We should resend the census, and it should be a just chill out, dude, if things might go bad.

Speaker 1 Like, if MLB comes back and someone gets really, really sick, we need to all sign a waiver being like, we're not going to hold it against them. Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because they are a little bit afraid.

Speaker 1 Right, and they should be. There's some legal issues for sure.

Speaker 1 So, we need to have, like, I don't know if it's a legal document that just says, like, hey, we won't, we won't, like, we won't fucking roast you.

Speaker 3 How about you opt in? And so, if you elect to watch a major league baseball game on television,

Speaker 3 by doing so, you're absolving the league of giving everybody coronavirus.

Speaker 1 I'm down.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I also think that this is a huge indictment of the modern billionaire. And I'm not going to do the thing where I donation shame.
Shout out Bill Gates though.

Speaker 3 Yeah, shout out Bill Gates, but this is a huge indictment of, like, old school billionaires would have had something prepared in, like, the back of their minds in case the world goes to shit.

Speaker 3 I, they would still have, like, their own private island that they could go to to hunt people for sport.

Speaker 3 Like, Carnegie would have Vontez Berfict in a steel trap on an island ready to release him for just such an occasion when there are no sports.

Speaker 3 And so far, the only billionaire that stepped up to do crazy shit and give us sports for their own personal gain is Dana White.

Speaker 1 And he's not even a billionaire.

Speaker 3 And he's not even a billionaire.

Speaker 1 So just a really, really rich billionaire.

Speaker 3 Listen, I am 100% in favor of taking away all the money in the world from the billionaires if they're going to demonstrate to us that they don't even have the foresight to create an alternative sports league if there's a worldwide virus.

Speaker 1 Is Dana White a billionaire? Because I could actually imagine him like a world where everyone is like the blue checks are shitting on him and being like, How could you get an island?

Speaker 1 And me saying he's not a billionaire is the only thing he responds to. Yeah.
Fuck you, bro. Yeah, I do have an island.

Speaker 3 Also, high school gymnastics championships are going to be played at Little St. James.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There we go.

Speaker 3 500 mil. 500 mil.

Speaker 1 500 billion.

Speaker 1 Half a billy?

Speaker 3 Okay. Two commas.

Speaker 1 He's on his way. Hey,

Speaker 1 it's harder to make your first 500 mil than your second 500 mil. Is that true?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that is absolutely true. I've heard that the second 500 miles.

Speaker 1 No, money makes money, dude.

Speaker 3 Yeah. He probably took a beating in the stock market recently.

Speaker 1 No, it's back up.

Speaker 1 It's back up. It's back up.
So I feel optimistic, cautiously optimistic. The golf putting things on a calendar just made me feel.

Speaker 1 And also what it did was, I don't know if you guys noticed, but they were like,

Speaker 1 the Masters is going to be played November 9th to 14th or whatever the dates are. And then everyone immediately said, holy shit, that's Alabama, Georgia weekend.

Speaker 1 And I was like, holy shit, Alabama, Georgia, this is sick.

Speaker 3 I was just scrolling through Twitter. I think it was...
Tori Carter, low man nominee, posted a clip of, I don't know, some LSU fullback laying somebody out.

Speaker 3 It was was a clip from CBS Sports, and it was Vern announcing the game, and it had the CBS SEC music. Yeah.
And it got me going. Like, I sat up in bed, and I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 3 I'm ready to re-engage myself in this fight.

Speaker 3 Whatever feelings of anxiety or depression that were creeping in from staying in my house with no sports, those are out the window because I heard, you know what? Just

Speaker 3 give me some sort of serious channel that

Speaker 3 plays the NFL on Fox music, the CBS NFL music, ESPN music. Just remind me of why I'm staying inside.

Speaker 1 The CBS SEC music, I don't want to be a bummer here, but you guys realize that that's ending soon. Like, their contract's ending soon.

Speaker 3 But they can give that to whoever buys it. Do you think they're going to give it to them?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 NBC and NBA, like, we didn't get that music back. We didn't get

Speaker 1 round ball rocks in like 20 years. Yeah.
We just got it for Fox, Gus Johnson, calling, like, big East games.

Speaker 3 I think they should do it for the sake of the country.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. I mean, I agree with you, but

Speaker 1 I think ESPN is going to do their own music and it's going to ruin.

Speaker 1 Like, that will be something that wants to feel old.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, play that.

Speaker 3 This is why we're fighting, everyone. America.

Speaker 1 Want to feel old?

Speaker 3 This is why we're staying inside right now.

Speaker 3 So we can have this.

Speaker 1 This is going to suck, though, when we're.

Speaker 1 This is gonna suck when they ruin this.

Speaker 3 Don't nag out on the big cat.

Speaker 3 That's right, yeah. Dabo Swinney.
Actually, no, no,

Speaker 1 ruined the movie.

Speaker 3 Not him.

Speaker 1 Nick Saban and the boys take you down to the swamp against Florida the first time since 2008 because the SEC schedule is so fucking stupid.

Speaker 3 Will Muskamp leads the boy into Athens, and you're damn right, he's sweating through his polo shirt.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do. It's just gonna be weird.
I just thought of that the other day. Like, SEC is going to be on ESPN.
It's going to be weird when we don't have that.

Speaker 1 I assume it will be on ABC as well. It will be weird when we don't have that music.

Speaker 3 We've reached the breaking point in this crisis when Mike Greenberg is forgetting what day of the week it was. You guys probably already saw this way ahead of me on it on

Speaker 3 Get Up this morning.

Speaker 1 We weren't watching it before Corona.

Speaker 5 I legitimately haven't turned the cable on my cable on.

Speaker 3 You're such a millennial.

Speaker 1 Why are you still watching that?

Speaker 3 No, I just saw the clip on. Oh, no, I'm going to watch Get Up during this mess.
But I saw the clip on.

Speaker 1 I think you might have.

Speaker 3 I've tuned in a couple times by accident.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 Greenie went through the entire episode today, and then at the very end, when he was doing his sign-off, he's like, I'd like to apologize to America.

Speaker 3 For the first time in my career, I went through this entire show saying that it was Wednesday morning when it was Tuesday the whole time.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn. He's like, Dwight Shroot.

Speaker 3 That's the canary in the coal mine. You should watch SVP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should watch SVP.

Speaker 3 Greeny's wife, he got the vitamins, the Flintstone vitamins, out of the wrong plastic tab that Stacey sets out for him every morning.

Speaker 1 Should we do NFL 100? NFL 100 wide receivers.

Speaker 3 Let's get mad about this.

Speaker 1 Before we get hot seat cools wrong,

Speaker 1 I actually

Speaker 1 looking at it.

Speaker 1 So let me review this.

Speaker 6 This is how the whole thing started?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this was how the whole thing started.

Speaker 1 So again, NFL 100, they did the teams, and like most of the teams, I think all the positions, they've done this, where they basically separated old guys, uh, modern era.

Speaker 1 So, I don't think it's fair to take away from the old guys because they're just throwing them in there, whatever, unless they're multiple Earls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's uh, the old guys are Elroy, Hirsch, Lance Allworth, Paul Warfield, Don Hudson, Raymond Berry. Now, the new guys, those are all players that played pre-1980.
We'll call that the grit era.

Speaker 1 The new guys are Jerry Rice, Randy Moss, Larry Fitzgerald, Steve Largent, Marvin Harrison. So

Speaker 1 this all started because I was like, how is Larry Fitzgerald on there and not T.O. and Calvin?

Speaker 1 Jerry Rice and Randy Moss, you agree, are just on there. Absolutely.
They're one and two. That's not even

Speaker 1 a debate. That's not up for debate.
I would say probably Steve Largent, too,

Speaker 1 just because he's also like he played a little bit earlier where they didn't throw the ball as much. So he probably stays in there.

Speaker 3 We've already got like four people on the list that are on the list because they played an era where they didn't throw the ball as much.

Speaker 1 I know, but we can't, I mean, you can't do the, you can't take away the pre-1980s guys.

Speaker 3 Steve Largent was a system receiver. He only worked with Jim Zorn.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Steve Largent, I don't know. I don't know what to do with Steve Largent.
I actually am

Speaker 1 not as mad about Larry Fitzgerald as I was

Speaker 1 when we first brought this up. Really?

Speaker 3 I'm disappointed that you're not as mad because I came prepared with some stats.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm not as mad.

Speaker 3 I was thinking you were going to be mad.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not. I'm not as mad.
I'm actually more mad about Marvin Harrison being on there. Okay, agreed.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I agree with that because Marvin Harrison, he was essentially, he was a very good route runner, good hands, overall very good receiver.

Speaker 3 But he also played with Peyton Manning, who threw the fuck out of the ball every single game. So

Speaker 1 here's how I broke down my list. I would do.

Speaker 3 He also killed somebody.

Speaker 1 He also killed someone.

Speaker 1 This might be where you can find contention in it. I actually am keeping Larry Fitzgerald on my list.
I am now taking off Marvin Harrison. And as much as T.O.,

Speaker 1 I'm actually doing the real journalist thing where I'm saying T.O., what he took away from the team. He was too mean to the team.
He was still counts.

Speaker 3 Big Cat saying that. No, I mean,

Speaker 1 he called all his quarterback gay. But yeah, that also probably had something to do with it.

Speaker 1 I think Calvin Johnson

Speaker 3 and Donovan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, even though Calvin Johnson

Speaker 1 played less than all those guys, I think he is

Speaker 1 better of a wide receiver than T.O. and Larry Fitzgerald and Marvin Harrison and Chris Carter.
So I'm putting Calvin on my list instead of Marvin Harrison, keeping Larry Fitzgerald on.

Speaker 1 Calvin, if you look at it, has a higher yards per reception than everyone else that I just listed. He also has the greatest receiving season in 122 receptions,

Speaker 1 1964 yards.

Speaker 3 And he was playing on the Lions.

Speaker 1 He was playing on the Lions.

Speaker 3 That's all Madden leveled.

Speaker 1 He was playing on the Lions. And it's, yes, he had Matthew Stafford, but he had a young Matthew Stafford.
He also had to have John Kittna, Dean Orlofsky, Dante Culpepper.

Speaker 1 Sean Hill was there for a season. I think Calvin Johnson, and I know that he didn't play very long and cut it short, but I think he is a better receiver at his peak than T.O.
and Marvin Harris.

Speaker 3 Okay, I agree with that. I think that he's number three.
I think it's Randy Moss, Jerry Rice, and then Calvin Johnson. Correct.
Then I'm going to go with T.O.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to let...

Speaker 3 So you're taking Larry off? No.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to let the way that he treated the media cloud my judgment like you are, big cat. I think that I'm only judging this on the field.
When T.O. was on the field, he was unstoppable.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about the media. I'm talking about like he

Speaker 1 basically. No, I'm not talking about the media.

Speaker 3 You're believing the lies that the media told you.

Speaker 1 No, I am not talking about the media. I'm talking about

Speaker 1 what he did to his teammates.

Speaker 3 I'm going to choose to leave.

Speaker 3 Can I just pretend that you said some bad shit about Larry Fitzgerald?

Speaker 5 Should it just be about how it was play on the field, though?

Speaker 3 Exactly. Strictly on the field, like Peter King.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's an unbelievable receiver. He's right off the bottom.

Speaker 5 He's the NFL top 100 players, not a family.

Speaker 1 If I could take Steve Largent off, I'd take Steve Largent off. I basically went for the top four wide receivers in the modern, modern era.

Speaker 1 And I'm going with Jerry Rice, Randy Moss, Calvin Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald.

Speaker 3 Just telling them them

Speaker 3 this much of a stink about TO, and you didn't really say that much about OJ.

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 1 what's your list?

Speaker 3 Okay, well, let me just pretend that you said no Larry Fitzgerald

Speaker 3 because you've been teasing it, but you've been teasing it

Speaker 1 for weeks. Wait, no, no, no, hold on.
When we first started, I just first on stats. When we first did Larry Fitzgerald, I said I have to say that.

Speaker 3 Fun stat number one: he has more tackles than dropped passes in his entire career. That's fucking wild, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Stat number two:

Speaker 3 here's his playoff statistics. 2008, here's the game breakdown.
101 yards, one touchdown. 166 yards, a touchdown.
152 yards, three touchdowns.

Speaker 3 Seven receptions for 127 yards, and two touchdowns in the Super Bowl. Then after that, I'm going to jump to the end and just say

Speaker 3 he averages about 94 yards per game in the playoffs and over a touchdown

Speaker 3 in every postseason game that he's ever played in. And here's a fun list of the quarterbacks he's caught touchdown passes from.

Speaker 3 Obviously, there's Kurt Warner, there's Carson Palmer, average.

Speaker 1 Averages 104 yards in playoffs.

Speaker 3 After that, Josh McCown,

Speaker 3 John Skelton, Joshua

Speaker 3 Kevin Cobb, Matt Leinert, Kyler Murray, Derek Anderson, Drew Stanton, Blaine Gabbard, Max Hall. Who's Max Hall?

Speaker 3 He's a creative player. Richard Bartell, Sean King,

Speaker 3 Brian St. Pierre, and that's it.
Those are the list of quarterbacks that have thrown touchdown passes to Larry Fitz. He's absolutely on this list.
He deserves to be on this list.

Speaker 1 So, wait, who did you take off?

Speaker 3 I will stand Larry Fitz Jerry. Wait, wait, so who'd you take off? I'm dropping Raymond Barry off.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. You can't do this because

Speaker 1 we did this last time. You can't take any of the old guys off.
Steve Largent.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. You have to keep Steve Largent on, too.
So give us a shot. Why'd you have to keep

Speaker 1 it on the table?

Speaker 3 Because he's in 1989.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but this is the, again, this is like

Speaker 1 a hard time. We're trying to make it hard for ourselves.

Speaker 3 But he overlapped Jerry Larger. Come on, give me a second.

Speaker 1 All right, 1989 isn't that old. Yeah, give me your four.
Give me your four.

Speaker 1 Like, give me your top four and make it hard on yourself. Like, I made it hard on myself.
I didn't take Steve Largent out. I didn't take any of the old guys out.
Steve Largen isn't.

Speaker 3 Steve Largen's not an old guy.

Speaker 1 I'm saying, do it. Just give me your four.
Steve, make it hard on yourself.

Speaker 3 I'm very confused what you're asking.

Speaker 1 I'm saying, give me your top four.

Speaker 3 Okay, my top four are Jerry Rice.

Speaker 3 No, Randy Moss, number one. Jerry Rice, number two.

Speaker 3 Calvin Johnson, number three.

Speaker 3 And then number four,

Speaker 3 Larry Fitz.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we have the exact same rankings. So you don't respect T.O.
the same way? No, I kept Steve Largent on to make it difficult. He's 4-A.

Speaker 1 Of course, T.O. is better than Steve Largent, but I'm 4-A.
I'm making it difficult on myself. Do you agree 100%?

Speaker 1 4-A.

Speaker 3 You've been teasing me to get pre-mad about Larry Fitzgerald, but I limited it. Then you pulled the Okie Doke on.

Speaker 1 No, shout out to me for being able to look at it and be like, hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 When we talked about this originally, I was wrong.

Speaker 3 It's a false build-up from you.

Speaker 1 I can admit when I'm wrong.

Speaker 3 False build-up from you. You can.
So can I.

Speaker 1 Mountain Dew Spit Bottle.

Speaker 3 No, I apologize to Hank.

Speaker 1 Remember? You actually did admit it on air. Hank put it on.
Oh, no, I know.

Speaker 1 So we have the exact same rankings.

Speaker 3 We do now, but you've also said in the... I'm disagreeing with former Big Cat.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 if we pull back the tape, I basically was like, I need to look at it.

Speaker 3 Sounds like you're a flip-flopper. No, I need to look at it.

Speaker 1 And I looked at it, and I agreed that Larry Fitzgerald should be four.

Speaker 3 Stick to your guns. And T.O.
should be five. Best bud on the list, too, Larry Fitzgerald.

Speaker 1 All right, so yeah, that's the list. We have the exact same list.
I think Calvin Johnson should be on there.

Speaker 3 It's crazy. I agree.
I agree. It's nuts.
I don't know who voted on this. It was Collinsworth, Belichick.

Speaker 1 I don't know who else is on the poll. It just also sucks that they do the old five guys.
It's like, of course, I don't think any of these five guys, but like you have to keep them on. I don't know.

Speaker 3 It's stupid. But you're talking shit about T.O., but you remain silent on Randy Moss

Speaker 3 when he got mad about the barbecue catering tray in the Vikings season at one time.

Speaker 1 Exact same ranking that you have. Yes.
Okay. So we have the exact same ranking.

Speaker 3 Do you have any comment about Randy Moss getting mad at you?

Speaker 1 Randy Moss is the best receiver in the history of the NFL.

Speaker 3 Correct. We have the same ranking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't care what he did.

Speaker 3 What he did to a caterer when the barbecue wasn't. What did he do? You don't remember that? No.
That was the most hilarious, dumb, fake

Speaker 3 news cycle that was.

Speaker 3 It was in 2013, 2014, towards the end of his career. They had some catered lunch in the Vikings' locker room.

Speaker 3 And then afterwards, all these reports came out saying that Randy Moss insulted the brisket or the barbecue. And it was like a mom and pop that had been serving the team for the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 No, Randy Moss had his issues too. Like, he wasn't the best teammate,

Speaker 1 but he was also the greatest wide receiver of all time.

Speaker 3 Also, Randy Moss is awesome on television.

Speaker 1 Yes, he is. So I've never seen someone so mad to agree.
You're mad to get a cat. I'm mad at former Big Cat.
Right, but I. Because you've been getting me.

Speaker 3 I've been in a cage this whole time, and you've been pulling me. You're like, hey, I'm going to talk about Larry Fitzgerald in a couple weeks.

Speaker 3 And then you opened up the cage and you gave me birthday cake. And so now I'm like, yeah,

Speaker 3 I agree. Thank you for the birthday cake.
It's awesome.

Speaker 3 You know, I love the corner pieces, but I'm still, I'm going to need a second to calm down from the last two weeks of stewing about Larry Fitzgerald.

Speaker 1 Well, when we first talked about it, I didn't even know Marvin Harrison was on it. I'm pretty sure we just knew that Calvin Johnson and T.O.
weren't on it.

Speaker 1 And I was like, how is this fucking possible?

Speaker 1 Now I understand. And yeah, I think Calvin Johnson should be on it ahead ahead of Marvin Harrison.
And then T.O.

Speaker 1 If you want to take Steve Largen off, if we are allowed to take Steve Largent off, it's a no-brainer. Jerry Rice, Randy Moss, Larry, Gerald T.O.

Speaker 3 I took him off just because he did overlap with him.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to make it hard on us. Because it's easy to, like, that's such a no-brainer five for me.

Speaker 1 So I was like, let's make it as difficult as possible and have to make a decision between Calvin, Larry, and T.O.

Speaker 3 You know what we should do? We should just acknowledge the old people on the list and instead of doing like have these arbitrary year cutoffs, just list our top five.

Speaker 1 No matter what.

Speaker 3 What our top five would be.

Speaker 1 What are your top five, Hank? Do you have a top five?

Speaker 1 Jules, Welker. No, so my top five.
Yeah, so PFDNI had the same top five. Randy Moss.
Randy Moss. Jerry Rice.

Speaker 5 Troy Brown.

Speaker 5 Amendola.

Speaker 1 I'd have to look too. I might even have.

Speaker 3 No, Riché Caldwell.

Speaker 1 I might even have Chris Carter over

Speaker 3 Marvin Harrison. I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 I'd have to look. But I, yeah, I might.
I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
Maybe that's what we can get mad about uh those guys chris carter and marvin harrison marvin harrison nice career but

Speaker 3 a really good career fucking awesome career but man having peyton manning definitely makes it a lot easier i remember when marvin harrison when he when he stepped away and then uh right behind him they had who pierre garcon yeah and pierre garcon became a really good player i was like yeah how much of this was marvin and how much because like there were there were a few years back to back to back to back where they had payton was like throwing touchdowns to Dallas Clark, Ben Utecht, all these random guys, and so he was able to make a lot of players look great.

Speaker 3 I mean, his first year in Denver,

Speaker 3 he made all those guys look amazing. Eric Decker was like a top three wide receiver in the league.
So, yeah, there's definitely a Peyton Manning factor that you have to take into account here.

Speaker 3 So, I think, yeah, for him, it was kind of an easy choice for me to move him out of that top three.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at it right now, and Chris Carter and Marvin Harrison basically have the exact same stats. It's just that Chris Carter played

Speaker 1 like 45 more games than Marvin Harrison. So I guess I would give it to Marvin Harrison there.

Speaker 3 Also, people don't talk about the fact that Marvin Harrison assaulted a Jets ball boy before a game. And killed a guy.

Speaker 3 Allegedly. Allegedly.

Speaker 3 Allegedly assaulted a Jets ball boy.

Speaker 3 And then killed a guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that part really gets lost. We're talking about T.O.
doing some sit-ups in his driveway, but man.

Speaker 3 Can you just bleep out Marvin Harrison's name?

Speaker 3 I don't want him to come after me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is kind of scary. Alright, let's get to our hot seat cool throne before we get to SVP.

Speaker 3 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 5 My hot seat is Mike Gundy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 he was on a conference call with reporters earlier today on Tuesday, and he is obviously the coach of college football players. I don't get paid any money.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 5 He said, in my opinion, we need to bring our players back. They're 18, 19, 20, 21, and 22 years old.
They are healthy, and they have the ability to fight this virus off.

Speaker 5 If that is true, then we sequester them and continue because we need to run money through the state of Oklahoma.

Speaker 3 Okay, so he's saying that...

Speaker 1 People are not happy.

Speaker 5 I think that's a situation where maybe he probably has some people involved that, like,

Speaker 5 if he was at the school, they would have been like, hey, don't say this. But he just did the call from his house and just kind of let loose.

Speaker 1 It didn't work out for him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so this is why Gundy definitely needs a filter to run these things through because there's nothing that he said that was a lie about how a lot of major college coaches think.

Speaker 3 He just said the quiet part really, really loud. Really loud.

Speaker 3 And was like, hey, we need these players who are all 18 and 19 that don't get paid to make money for other people based off their labor, which is not a great way to phrase things.

Speaker 3 Admittedly, if you're money, he should have just said, if we can't whoop a virus's ass, how are we going to go on the road or what's going to happen in Bedlam?

Speaker 1 It's different when it's college kids. He definitely missed that.
He probably read the BioDome stuff and Dana White and being like, oh, tides are changing here. We're ready to get back to work.

Speaker 3 We got to pump money into this state is not

Speaker 3 a great thing to say. It's just like, we need to generate revenue off the labor of these unpaid players.
Yes.

Speaker 5 My cool throne, last week, the cool throne was lists. This week, the cool throne is groups.

Speaker 1 Yes. How so?

Speaker 5 So every major media company is doing, whether it's like TV shows or groups of athletes, like whether you went to Wisconsin, it's like, here's eight groups of four Wisconsin athletes.

Speaker 5 Which group would you want to be in quarantine with? Like, here's eight groups of like three different TV shows. Like, which, which group would you want to be quarantined with?

Speaker 5 That's, that's the new hotness in the streets.

Speaker 3 Yeah. We're so bored.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We're so bored. We're so bored.

Speaker 1 As a country, we're bored.

Speaker 5 And Instagram lives, just everyone's, everyone's going on live. Everyone's living on live.

Speaker 1 We're living life through live.

Speaker 3 Life is content right now.

Speaker 3 It's like an episode of Black Mirror.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 PFT, your hot seat cultural.

Speaker 3 My hot seat is tigers because a tiger. Big cats, actually.
Big cats. Yeah, big cats in general.
Because big cats are now capable of catching the virus. The one at the Bronx Zoo is sick.

Speaker 3 Thoughts and prayers to it, and I hope it pulls through just fine.

Speaker 5 Imagine being a big cat that said they'd inject themselves

Speaker 3 with the virus.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I still would love to have it just to get it over with. At this point, I really would just like to.

Speaker 1 I hate the coronavirus. It's such a fucking asshole.
Yeah, I hate it too.

Speaker 3 I don't respect it at all. I can hate it.
Get out of my face, virus. Literally.
So my other hot seat is podcast because podcasting numbers are down across the board.

Speaker 3 I read a study that says that they're like 6% down.

Speaker 1 Do you remember what I said last week?

Speaker 3 No, but

Speaker 3 I read another study. Got it.
Podcasts are down.

Speaker 3 And I decided that I'm going to do something to raise awareness for this.

Speaker 3 Raise awareness for podcasts. I am going to do that bike ride around Manhattan, but I was waiting to find out some sort of charity I could do.

Speaker 3 I'm doing it to raise awareness for podcasting numbers being down.

Speaker 3 So if you want to sponsor me in this bike ride around Manhattan, I'm going to try to do it in under, I pulled up the Google Maps on it, okay? The perimeter of Manhattan.

Speaker 3 It's about a three-hour bike ride. Okay, now there are some places that I don't know which streets to take exactly.

Speaker 3 So I'm going to give myself three hours, 15 minutes to get get around the island of manhattan if you want to sponsor me download one podcast

Speaker 3 preferably part of my take but it could be your choice

Speaker 3 and that will sponsor me for a minute of my ride uh in order to raise awareness for podcasts and tag tag 10 friends to also do it tag 10 yes podcast download challenge yes and then tag erica nardini and say i'm sponsoring

Speaker 3 i can't believe pft is putting the weight of the podcasting world on his shoulders to accomplish this fantastic feat So, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I do.

Speaker 3 Do I have to wear like a

Speaker 3 gold jacket? Is that what they wear in the Tour de France?

Speaker 1 No, I think you're good. You just wear whatever you wear.

Speaker 3 Okay, just wear whatever I wear.

Speaker 1 I'll be doing that. When should I do that? I'll go live.

Speaker 3 I'll go IG live on that. Yeah.
Friday, Saturday?

Speaker 1 I don't think days matter anymore. So, yeah.
Saturday?

Speaker 3 What do you think?

Speaker 1 Friday. What do you think, Honk? Friday? Friday.
Okay. Friday.

Speaker 5 I'm going to join them for some of it.

Speaker 1 Some people might still be working. Where?

Speaker 3 At home? Yeah, some people work, but that's why we're going to go live.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But I'm saying, like, do it on Saturday.
We probably get more people to watch because they're just sitting at home doing nothing.

Speaker 3 I think Saturday more people will be out.

Speaker 1 They're not supposed to.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm going to be doing on a shitty bike, too, because I don't own a bike. A city bike? No, I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 Are you going to get a free ads? You're not going to have a city bike?

Speaker 3 No free ads.

Speaker 1 You are? Shit, man. Yeah.
That's not a lot of gears.

Speaker 3 Bad bike. Three of them.
I need to get you a gear.

Speaker 6 No, I don't need a gear. You should actually, if you're not going to be able to do that, you know what I did though?

Speaker 1 I wanted to say podcast you do it with a bike with no brakes.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to use my brake.

Speaker 1 Okay, there you go. All gas, no brakes.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to break on this podcasting excursion.

Speaker 5 Here's a dumb question. Why doesn't Peloton make bikes?

Speaker 1 Because, like, bike places make bikes? Yeah. That's like.
Doesn't play a bike place? Yeah, but like, the whole point is that you don't have to have a bike.

Speaker 3 Most modern technology companies eventually go back in time after they've been around for a while. Like, Uber is going to eventually make buses.

Speaker 1 But, like, they have, they make bikes that are the anti-bike.

Speaker 5 But you would think that if you have a Peloton bike, then you might

Speaker 5 clearly a biker. And you're clearly probably going to get an outdoor bike.

Speaker 1 They should make it so you can take your Peloton bike off its stand and use it. That's actually a good idea.

Speaker 3 Yeah, a bike that monitors how much output you're putting out while you're on a trail, actually outside. That's not a bad idea.
Yeah. All right, so biking for charity on Friday.

Speaker 1 Sure. Friday.
High noon.

Speaker 3 High noon we ride together. My cool throne is the coronavirus because Martin Skrelly is asking to get out of jail to fight the disease.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 to make the pill to fight the disease? Actually, you know what? My Cool Throne is Martin Skrelly because he's going to save the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, if he dies, we get the album, right?

Speaker 3 Our band is on the cool throne because Skrelly's out of prison. I'm sure he's been writing a lot of songs.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, he's going to figure out a cure for this whole thing and charge everybody a fair price.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right, my hot seat is,

Speaker 1 I think we might not have talked about it on Monday, the the name Karen, because this is the We Are Very Bored segment of Twitter

Speaker 1 when Julie Bindle said, does anyone else think the Karen slur is woman hating and based on class prejudice? Which is such a julie thing to do. But yeah, so Karen, is Karen a slur?

Speaker 3 The K-word, you mean? He is. The K-word is a lot of hard R's.

Speaker 5 I called Steve Weeb's wife a Karen. I'm shook about it.

Speaker 1 What about a Becky?

Speaker 1 Does that now make Becky?

Speaker 3 Actually, no, Becky's on the cool throne.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, no. But Julie saying, is Karen a slur, but not saying, is Becky a slur first is actually the most woman-hating you could do because she's hating against pretty ladies.

Speaker 3 So she is teaming up

Speaker 1 on Karen. No, Becky's on Kay's side.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Homewrecker.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, you actually make a good point. Because where was she when all the Becky career was going on? She was sitting back because she was glad that young, attractive women were getting made fun of.

Speaker 1 She's the most woman-hating and class-prejudiced person I've ever seen. I agree with that.

Speaker 1 So, Kay,

Speaker 3 what word are we going to use for that?

Speaker 1 You can't say the K-word.

Speaker 3 The K-word? Yeah. Can I say the K-word if it's in the lyrics to my humps?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I don't have to say, like, K-words got me, Sharon.

Speaker 1 I like Justin Jackson said, if being called Karen is slur, I think you'll be okay. It's a good point.
That's fair.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Some of my best friends are Karens.

Speaker 3 I can say it.

Speaker 1 I actually don't know a lot of Karens. Whoops.
Wow. I can't say it.

Speaker 1 My Cool Throne is

Speaker 1 pandas because they had sex.

Speaker 1 And I actually really, Billy, shout out Billy, who I think his exact quote was, this is actually really sick for the panda species because they low-key suck at sex, which is a great Billy fact.

Speaker 1 And then also

Speaker 1 asking girls for nudes is on the cool throne because I don't know if you guys saw this guy, Chris Raindone. I don't even know who he is.
I saw it.

Speaker 1 I said, if you're asking for nudes during this pandemic, you still haven't learned. That shit has played out.

Speaker 1 Have a girl send you a picture of her reading a book out loud or listening to a podcast so you know they're not dumb. It's not about physical connect with them.
Mentally, dig deep.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Or you can ask them to send you a picture reading a book while naked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be cool. Or listening to a podcast while naked.
Like everyone listens to this.

Speaker 3 By the way, this guy's very clearly just trying to get girls to send him nudes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 By saying

Speaker 6 I don't even want nudes anymore.

Speaker 1 He's got a shitload of Beckys and Karens hitting him up for sure.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview with Scott Van Van.

Speaker 3 Which one calls the manager over?

Speaker 1 Karen. Okay.
Becky

Speaker 1 sucks the manager's dick.

Speaker 3 What about a barbecue? Who calls the cops on a barbecue?

Speaker 1 Karen.

Speaker 3 I thought her name was BBQ Becky.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 that was just an alliteration.

Speaker 3 Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That one, that was not, she was not a Becky. She was definitely a Karen.
Karen Verge, Becky Chad. Yes.
Got it. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our our interview with Scott Van Pelt before we do that.

Speaker 7 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 7 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 8 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
Join for just $4.99 a month.

Speaker 8 savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply here he is Scott Van Pelt

Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on our good friend recurring guest it is SVP Scott Van Pelt he is still doing sports center every single night you should watch it on ESPN and he has a podcast SVP is it SVP odd or SVPod whatever dig you call it is fine it's you know we're we're not up there on the rankings

Speaker 9 a

Speaker 9 meager podcast trying to figure out who the hell is going to be on. I forget I have it, and then it's like, oh, yeah, I have a podcast.
SVPod is what we've called it.

Speaker 1 SVPod.

Speaker 3 Did you do the thing where it debuted when it was like number one on the charts? And you took the screenshot and you're like, look at that.

Speaker 9 Yeah, Rosillo explained how you can kind of cook the, like, I don't know what it is. He understands the ratings and all that.
And it's like, I guess it's sort of fake when you debut.

Speaker 9 And then after that, it's like you either, well, you guys are always number one, so you're just number one. But then after that, then you're not number one, so it was all just sort of fake.

Speaker 9 But I don't don't know yeah you guys were up there so we'll say you were number one who cares let's just say you were number one i don't think we were we were but it's it was whatever it was it isn't now but i'm not troubled by it at all i'm more troubled by many other things right now in the world and where we are ranked yeah so let's let's do that let's let's start with that where are you at mentally um mental health and also just uh when do you think sports are going to be back because we've done we've had dark days we've had light days i had a day where i canceled everything until 2022 now I'm thinking like ooh June's gonna be popping where are you at with that I'm like you it's a roller coaster there I always say that I'm optimistic because it costs the same but I told Jeff Paston the other day that's true but I can't find the money to pay for optimism right now like whatever it costs I don't have the money for it because it just feels like I mean, it's the whole testing and we got to get tested and we need a vaccine, but the vaccine won't be here until like God knows when.

Speaker 9 And then, well, can we test? And if you do test, who do you test? But more people that are sick need to test. Well, we shouldn't waste them on athletes.
True, I agree with that.

Speaker 9 But then, like, the new baseball thing that broke on Tuesday night or whatever, like Monday night, I guess it was, with passing on our show, the idea of games, cool, but, like, think about this, fellas, honestly, as exciting as it would be to say, we're back.

Speaker 9 Sports are back. Well, like, two days into baseball and stadiums, you don't know where they are with no fans in the stands and guys sitting like eight seats apart in the bleachers.

Speaker 9 People are going to go like, this blows. I don't like this.

Speaker 1 Not everyone hates everything.

Speaker 9 No one's going to like it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but it's going to be great for a foul ball guy, though. He's going to clean up in terms of the home runs that he catches.

Speaker 1 Well, but at least we can complain about it. We need something to complain about.
I was actually just looking through your Twitter. You're not even going at it with trolls anymore.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's just, it's, well, I don't have the energy.

Speaker 9 I don't have the energy that...

Speaker 9 Yeah, you're right. We need really what we need is the ability to bitch about stuff.

Speaker 9 like Tampa Bay put out new uniforms on Tuesday and people people are like I actually kind of like those like no it shows how strong

Speaker 3 so I wouldn't believe it we're about to tape the rest of tonight's show after you're done and I just wrote down that I wanted to get fake mad about the Bucks uniforms because like I do need something to get mad about I think it was the onion it was like a month or two after 9-11 and that the headline was nation longs to care about stupid shitty yes that's what I want I want to get mad at at like Angel Cabrera's strike zone yeah

Speaker 1 Scott, we've been doing the best, like, the thing I look forward to the most with this show right now is every Wednesday we are going back and looking through the NFL 100 list and going position by position and getting pissed off about it.

Speaker 1 Like, that's what I feel a lot.

Speaker 9 You got to manufacture the hate and the anger somewhere. And just, again, the fact that people didn't go nuts on the Buccaneer uniforms,

Speaker 9 it means maybe, A, they're pretty good. Although I think everybody wanted the cream sickles and we didn't get them.
But nevertheless, they're pretty good.

Speaker 9 You know,

Speaker 9 they didn't hate them like everybody hates the Rams new logo. But, I mean, where am I day to day?

Speaker 9 I'm so pissed that the Incidental Tournament didn't get played. I'll never get over that.
Even though we fake lost to you guys in some bullshit made-up thing where you guys beat us in a buzzer beater.

Speaker 1 That's the ESPN BPI.

Speaker 1 Are you not a company man?

Speaker 9 You accused me of being like a shill on the somewhere on the you called me company man is what you called me which you know what That's not the worst thing in the world to be a company guy, but I mean, I obviously that's some kind of a flawed metric, although maybe it isn't because Davison beat us up at your place,

Speaker 9 Big Ten Cameron, as we know, worst whistle in America.

Speaker 1 This is the hate. This is the hate.
Go, let it flow.

Speaker 9 Yeah, see, I feel, I thank you. This is really cathartic.
I'm mad about a thing that didn't actually happen. But, like, the fact that that didn't happen is awful.

Speaker 9 You know, and everybody's big, you know,

Speaker 9 the sacred cow is football. And you're like, are we going to play? And I go back and forth.
I mean, I can't imagine a a world that doesn't include football, and they're clearly going full steam ahead.

Speaker 9 Like, we're going to play. But I just, I don't know.
I don't know what it looks like. I don't know when things start.
I'm supposed to have summer vacation.

Speaker 9 I'm afraid they're going to tell me I got to come do games when I'm supposed to be away. Like,

Speaker 9 these are the things that occupy my thoughts, but at least it's something because otherwise every day is some version of the day that was yesterday.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
The fall is going to be so weird if there's no football. It's just going to be a bunch of weddings that you have to go to, that you don't have excuses to get out of anymore.

Speaker 1 Wedding season, huge.

Speaker 3 Awful. It's going to be terrible.
Now, what if they do bring back, let's say, like the NBA, MLB comes back, all the golf tournaments start being played like early August.

Speaker 3 Is there going to be enough hours in the day to cover every single sport that's out there? No.

Speaker 9 No, but who will care? Because just

Speaker 9 the orgy of sports will be such that people will just, like, just gluttony, just grabbing for whatever you care about and like it no we will the stuff will get ignored like an amazing things will happen and no one will even know because they'll be obsessed about the thing that they're most interested in but uh i i like i don't even know if that's gonna happen and i mean the thing about doing sports center every day is is and i keep pushing back against this this fear that i'm gonna be having on guests asking some version of Hey, Jeff Passon, hey, Woge, hey, Adam Schefter, like, when are we going to have sports?

Speaker 9 They don't fucking know.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 so

Speaker 9 I don't want to put people in a position to ask questions they don't have a clue about, and yet we all kind of want to know: is there anybody giving you any indication of what's going to have to happen for us to play?

Speaker 9 And it seems like it's everything comes back to we have to have all these tests. Well, when is that happening? Does anyone know?

Speaker 1 Well, okay, so here's why you should keep asking that, and that's why I asked you when you think sports would be back.

Speaker 1 It's like the old-fashioned when you're a kid and mom says no, so then you go ask dad. dad.
If you ask enough people, when is sports coming back? Right.

Speaker 1 Someone will say, like, tomorrow, and I'll be like, fuck yes, let's go.

Speaker 9 Well, Rob Manford, I guess, was that guy when, like, they're like, hey, we're going to go play to Biodome or whatever it is. Passenger called it Baseball on Mars.
Like, okay, I mean,

Speaker 9 look, at least on Monday there was that, and there was golf putting

Speaker 9 some events on the schedule, even though they're way down the... the line on the calendar, like at least that's something.

Speaker 9 Because other than the NFL going, hey, we're going to do virtual draft, which, by by the way, that's the recipe for disaster.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 9 People are 1,000% going to hack it. And they're going to be like, Andy Reid's going to be on an iPad trying to figure out what's going on.
And someone's going to send him a porn link or something.

Speaker 9 That's just how it's going to go.

Speaker 1 Wood's going to show up.

Speaker 3 The Vikings are going to draft Wood in all seven rounds.

Speaker 9 I mean, look, I said, guys, I'm sitting in the parking lot of the SPN looking up at the satellite farm where I sat in a van and looked up, and there was Torn's Peter North staring me in the eyes.

Speaker 9 I'm like, oh, well, here we go. What a good time to be alive.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's going to happen during the draft.
It's going to be crazy. And of course, like the thing that

Speaker 1 I keep separating, and people,

Speaker 1 there's a group of people out there now who are like, sports aren't that important. And I agree.
There's a lot bigger things going on.

Speaker 1 We're not trying to say that sports should be the priority, but there is an element of sports coming back would help us get to normalcy and people feel like things are back on track.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying sports are the most important thing. Clearly, the health of Americans is paramount, but the idea at least to try to find a way to get this back to normal, it's comforting.

Speaker 1 Even if it doesn't happen, the fact that they're thinking about it and they're like, hey, what if we do this? What if we do that?

Speaker 1 That at least kills some time until maybe we can get back to normal life.

Speaker 9 You know what you just did? And I do it every time on the show that I talk about the fact that I like sports just like you do. There's this mandatory thing where you have to say,

Speaker 9 look,

Speaker 9 I know sports aren't the most important thing. Like, if you don't say it, you can anticipate that the mob's going to be like, how can you say two things can be true at once?

Speaker 9 We can all obviously care about New York City and the surrounding areas and all of the various hotspots and wherever people are sick and care more about that than we do about anything else.

Speaker 9 And at the same time, say, and we'd really like sports to come back. But you have to give this qualifier because if you don't, then you're a monster who's going to hell.
And that's dumb.

Speaker 9 You shouldn't have to waste that energy. It should just be an understood.
It's a blanket statement. Of course, we care about this.
It's the most important thing.

Speaker 9 But while we're at it, we're also going to bitch about not having sports because not having sports ruins everything. Like it totally takes away from our ability to function.

Speaker 9 Like a lot of stuff is, hey, Wednesday, Wisconsin plays so-and-so. And Saturday, we play so-and-so.
Or Saturday, we have a big football game.

Speaker 9 Like, if you don't have those things, a lot of life, a lot of the structure of our lives is kind of out of whack.

Speaker 1 It's so true. That's so true.

Speaker 3 It's exactly why nobody knows what day of the week is anymore. Because, like, our days were based around which conferences we're playing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Thursday feels the same because I'm watching the Pac-12 late at night. Like, that's what it feels like on a Thursday in February.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting in front of my couch watching Bill Walton call an Arizona, Oregon game, and it feels normal. And not having that, it sucks.

Speaker 1 So, Scott, you did mention the tournament. I obviously was just as heartbroken as you that we had no tournament.
It felt very weird.

Speaker 1 I'm actually finally over it now that we've passed when the tournament would happen. But every time there was supposed to be a game, I woke up that morning being like, man, I wish there were a game.

Speaker 1 How far do you think Maryland was going to go? And also, congratulations on sharing that Big Ten title, which actually technically Wisconsin won because they were the one seed in the tournament.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 9 I can't believe. I honestly can't believe that that team wants a share of it.
And by that team, I mean your team.

Speaker 1 I truly can't. You hate it.
You hate it.

Speaker 9 I do.

Speaker 9 You know what?

Speaker 9 I told Titus this. The thing about this year that was really great for me as a fan is this was the year I found my hate.
This was the year I found my hate for this league for real.

Speaker 9 And I'm just like, you know what? F all these people.

Speaker 9 And you over there, you get to tell us when we're in the league. You don't get to tell anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do.

Speaker 9 Actually, you kind of do.

Speaker 9 I like to strike that.

Speaker 1 You do.

Speaker 9 And Maryland lost to Ohio State, and they would have got in if they won that overtime game, and it's always going to bother me because you're right. You get to say that.

Speaker 9 But no one else does except you. And this year was good because I found my hate, and Marilyn shared it with you in Michigan State.

Speaker 9 And I think I know this, that there's some Ken Pom stat about like there's

Speaker 9 and I and I'm gonna I shouldn't have started because I can't remember it, but it's like top 15 offensive efficiency and top 10 defensive efficiency or something.

Speaker 9 And And like the number of teams that have made it to a final four, like all of them are in that category. And Maryland was one of those teams.

Speaker 9 Now, does that mean they were going to go to the final four? I have no frigging clue. I do honestly believe that they were one of those 15, 20 teams that could have made a final four run.

Speaker 9 I mean, you got to win four games.

Speaker 9 And what sucks for my team, for your team, for Dayton, for anybody that had a team that had some guys is you're always going to wonder, and you're probably always going to think the most positive outcome was what would have happened.

Speaker 9 Because who sits around and goes, you know, we probably would have lost to Akron in the first round. No one's going to do that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you penciled yourself in at least for the Elite Eight. What about Bob Huggins' idea, which is just to play the 2020 tournament at the start of the next season? I love it.

Speaker 9 Well, does that can Maryland get Smith, who just declared for the draft, and Cowan? Like, do we get those guys, or are you going to play with next year's people? How does it work?

Speaker 3 I think Bob Huggins just decides what players you get. I think this is just his own little idea.

Speaker 1 Good news, Scott. Good news, Scott.
Wisconsin's not losing anyone. Whatever.
You're going to hate all of them.

Speaker 3 Huggy Berry got to the bottom of like a fifth of Jim Beam and wrote down all the rules on a napkin. So you're going to have to find that particular Arby's and translate what he said.

Speaker 9 Anybody that takes the whole

Speaker 9 tracksuit life,

Speaker 9 it's not a month for him.

Speaker 9 It's a 12-month a year proposition. Exclusively, he goes for the comfort fit, which you got to appreciate.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. I also was watching old games, so I watched actually the Maryland national championship game, which you were at, right? You were there in the house.
I was.

Speaker 1 So I was watching the old game. Do you think Billy Packer was a little harsh on you guys?

Speaker 9 It's funny that you say that. I'm pretty sure Stanford Steve told you to act this because I shared,

Speaker 9 as a matter of fact, I know he did because I shared with Stanford Steve after the title game. I said, the beauty of Maryland fans is we will bitch about anything.

Speaker 9 And to this day, Maryland fans are mad because they felt that Billy Packer wasn't wasn't very complimentary about Maryland in that game.

Speaker 9 And literally, I got texts from my guy, Gary Williams, post after

Speaker 9 this year, like talking about the way Packer talked about the team. And I'm like, I love that about Maryland because it's, you know, it's, we'll find something to be pissed off about no matter what.

Speaker 9 But I'll say this, I don't care what he said. I'll never know because I didn't watch it.
I was in the building, and Maryland won a title, and there's a crystal ball

Speaker 9 in the entryway of the building. And so what? I don't care what anybody said, but that's a great, that's a great Stanford Steve plan, and I'll go tell them that.

Speaker 1 Yes. I mean, it's so classic, Maryland, to be like, the fans be like, you know, we won, but Billy Packer didn't give us our just due.

Speaker 1 It's the worst thing that fans do.

Speaker 9 It's the worst thing fans do, and I will entirely own that we are right there at the top of the list of the worst offenders.

Speaker 3 What about our Washington R-Words, Scott? We got a big draft coming up. I'm actually of the mindset that the new regime is, I'm optimistic for the first time in probably like 15 years.

Speaker 9 I am too. Do you want Chase Young?

Speaker 3 So, all right, I think I liked, all right, I liked Dwayne Haskins when we drafted him, but there was absolutely nothing that happened last year with Dwayne Haskins that made me think this guy is going to be awesome one day.

Speaker 3 You know what I'm saying? So it feels kind of wasteful to take a quarterback in the first round and then just kind of burn that bridge by year two. I guess the Cardinals

Speaker 3 did though. Josh Rosen did it.
Yeah, they did it with him. But

Speaker 3 I'm starting to talk myself into Tua because I think that he has a better chance of being a great, great quarterback than Dwayne does.

Speaker 3 That said, Chase Young is a monster, and he'll make any defense that he's on better. But if you need a quarterback, which you do,

Speaker 3 I think you kind of have to bite the bullet and take Tua.

Speaker 9 I mean, that's what both Mel and McShea have said. Both are like, look, Tua is the guy, Tua is the guy.
And, I mean, there's part of me that I get it.

Speaker 9 And before he got hurt, you know, you watched him play. And I don't know how much of him doing what he did was because he played with like 12 five-star guys and was just video game stuff.

Speaker 9 I don't know that. And

Speaker 9 they did just take Haskins. And I think Chase Young is an absolute space alien.
So I think you just take him.

Speaker 9 And the second most important guy you can get besides a quarterback is someone that can tackle the quarterback. So

Speaker 9 I want to take Young, and then you figure it out at the quarterback position. But then you could spend the next 15 years going, you know, Tua was staring us us in the face and we didn't take it.

Speaker 9 I just, I don't know what you do with Haskins, though. I don't, you know, can you move them the way they move, the way the Cardinals move Rose? I don't know.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so Chase Young, I think no one's going to look back in 10 years and be like, Chase Young was a shitty draft pick. You might just look back and say, we could have had Tua.

Speaker 1 But I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'm falling in love with the idea of having a franchise quarterback because it's been a while. I was all in on the RG3 thing, as you know, and that didn't really work out.
So

Speaker 3 I've been chasing that high of RG3's rookie year for the last eight years.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's been a while.

Speaker 9 This is where being older actually helps as a Redskin fan because it was, at least I remember when they were good, which is a real long time ago.

Speaker 9 But it was fun because they were really good at the time.

Speaker 1 So, Scott, you mentioned, we mentioned golf. What is, I would imagine you've been to Augusta in the fall.
How is it going to be different? I mean, is it going to be just as cool?

Speaker 9 I think it'll be cooler in this way. It's new.
It's different. And so, like,

Speaker 9 anything that's different, the shiny new thing is, I mean, Noah's Dale is, but look, the trees have turned, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Timeout.
No azaleas?

Speaker 9 I'm not saying that. Look,

Speaker 9 they have

Speaker 9 Augusta National prefers the term resources to money, and they have unlimited resources.

Speaker 9 So I would think if there are azaleas on earth, they could find them and put them in the freezer on Sunday afternoon.

Speaker 1 The azaleas are all dead.

Speaker 9 Listen,

Speaker 9 they have magic down there on the grounds, but maybe there will be some sort of azeal, or there won't, but the trees will turn colors.

Speaker 9 No one will care because they're playing, and it'll be new and different, so people will be like, here are all the things that are different.

Speaker 9 Andy North, obviously, Proud Son of Wisconsin, was on the show with us this week and explained that it'll play much longer, and this gets real golfy, and your listeners don't give a shit, so I won't get into why.

Speaker 1 Oh, they care.

Speaker 9 But apparently, it'll play. Well, it's about the grass growing, and they have to grow it out in the fall so that it'll be ready for the spring.
I don't know how that one impacts the other.

Speaker 9 So, I mean, I won't care just because

Speaker 9 the idea of the Masters is something that is such a, it's ingrained in your head that it's part of every sports year.

Speaker 9 And just not having the tournament, not having the NCAA tournament, I'll never get over. Like, to not have that and then not have the Masters would just be gross.
So at least it's happening.

Speaker 3 They can still pipe in the bird noises, though, even if the birds fly back north. They can still do that.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 3 What's it going to do to the price of green spray paint that they use on the fairways and the greens?

Speaker 9 That grass, again, I don't know what they do. I don't know what's in the secret sauce, but that grass is green because it's green.

Speaker 3 You're a smart man. You know that they'll kill you if you say anything otherwise.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. There you go.

Speaker 1 So what

Speaker 1 is the when's the move to DC?

Speaker 1 Is everything still going?

Speaker 9 Yeah, allegedly this summer.

Speaker 1 We've

Speaker 9 got the house in Maryland, so we're like, I'm pot committed at this point.

Speaker 9 But we, like, I don't know what's going to happen. And if, you know, like we were talking about earlier, if they start playing,

Speaker 9 if it's just a melee, a free-for-all with baseball and hockey and the NBA playing in July and August when we're supposed to move, I don't know what that's going to mean, but at some point, I'm going to have to just tap out and say, we've got to move our stuff and set up shop.

Speaker 9 But we'll be down there by the end of the summer for sure.

Speaker 1 Listen, they're going to start playing sports at the exact moment it's most inconvenient for you.

Speaker 9 Probably. I've thought about that.
And you know what?

Speaker 9 Then I'll have several things to complain about. Oh, the fact that they're coming back at the least convenient time for me, and then just all the stuff that we complain about about sports.

Speaker 9 So, in a way, I'll win because then I'll have more to complain about than anybody else.

Speaker 1 You'll be going off on Twitter. Speaking of which, so we mentioned that you aren't fighting with trolls right now.
What can people do better?

Speaker 1 Like, what can people tweet you right now to really make you mad? Just so our listeners know.

Speaker 9 I mean,

Speaker 9 it's telling me my show sucks. They're telling me my show sucks because I'm on late at night.
Whatever. It's fine.

Speaker 9 I mean, it's the easiest.

Speaker 9 I could just LeBron you and just ask what time your show is and tell you tomorrow when you get up and don't have a job or have a job you hate that I have a cool job.

Speaker 9 Like, I could do that, but I'm not going to because

Speaker 9 no one likes that guy.

Speaker 1 Okay. Don't be that guy.

Speaker 3 So showtime or whatever.

Speaker 9 That would be a bad troll. That would be a bad troll.

Speaker 9 I don't know. You never know what the button.

Speaker 9 I don't know what the buttons are to push right now. I think we're all, like, are we sort of in this, we're all in a together moment, maybe?

Speaker 3 Yeah, but not on Twitter. On Twitter, that's where we can kind of go at each other and have fun.
What hobbies are you getting into that people can make fun of you for during this break?

Speaker 9 Look, man, I mean,

Speaker 9 I'm a walking target. You know, pick a lane and get in it and have fun.
I mean, there's anything, there's any number of options that you have to make fun. But

Speaker 9 I'm not troubled. I'm not troubled by it.
Damn. Right now I'm in a peaceful space.
I'm in a peaceful space.

Speaker 3 Hypothetically, if somebody were to be getting into Game of Thrones and they're like, hey, you remind me of the eunuch that works for the Lancer Court that walks around saying weird stuff and transcribing history, would that get under your skin?

Speaker 9 No, no, because I watch Game of Thrones, Game of Thrones like the film Memento. I started at the end and kind of worked my way back.
And so I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 9 I just know it was dark and the and the White Walker showed up and all hell broke loose and then they put the little the brand the brand the gimp or whatever his name is and he's in charge.

Speaker 9 Is that it?

Speaker 1 Yes, that's pretty much it.

Speaker 9 I went live tweeting it late, and it made people got so pissed because I was talking about all the stuff that happened.

Speaker 9 People were furious that I had the gall to kind of

Speaker 9 poke fun at the thing that they invested all their time and their emotional energy in this dragon movie.

Speaker 1 All right, so last question.

Speaker 1 You got to go to work. I don't even know.
What do you do? What do you do every night? Are you done showing like everyone's.

Speaker 9 I just talk talked to people. I mean, what's there to do?

Speaker 9 I don't know. We run out of fake things to show.
Like, we don't have any old tournament stuff left to show.

Speaker 9 We just talked to a bunch of interviews. I'm actually going to have, I get, I'm, we're actually going to have Billy Eichter on, Billy on the Street.
That guy's hysterical.

Speaker 1 Hysterical. Hysterical.
You should start having like.

Speaker 9 We do that fake, true, or true, real, or fake, true TV shows that we do during the tournament every year. And one of the ones that they had was Billy on the Street.

Speaker 9 I'm like, well, that's obviously a real show. That guy's very funny.
And then he, somebody told him about it. And so, you know how this works.

Speaker 9 You know, he tweeted out something about us talking about him. So I said, let's have Billy on.
He doesn't have any idea who the hell I am, but so what? I just want to ask him about

Speaker 9 what he does. He's funny.
He's consistently funny. Hard to be consistently funny.
You guys always are. He is, too.
Short list of people.

Speaker 1 Here's a free idea. You should just have like an open tryouts.
People just show up to wrestle Stanford Steve.

Speaker 9 He's a big dude, man.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 9 He's like Mountain. Could you imagine? Game of Thrones.
How about that? Yeah. Is that a good Game of Thrones round, Prince? Mountain?

Speaker 1 That's a really good one.

Speaker 1 But you could basically just create a wrestling league where Stanford Steve always wins, and it would be, I mean, get you five minutes closer to the end of the show every day.

Speaker 9 I like it.

Speaker 9 I remember when we, the first time you guys had me on, and PFT said, here's a good question, and you told me, like, I should do that, or you say, you tell someone here's a good question before you ask it.

Speaker 9 Always. Which I've kind of tried to employ that as best I can.
And then you guys just said, here's a good idea, like, or free idea. So, I mean, I'll go.
I'm getting ready to go in.

Speaker 9 I'll ask Steve what he thinks about that.

Speaker 1 It's a good free all-commerce.

Speaker 3 And if he says no, although how's that work?

Speaker 9 Because you're not allowed to be within six feet. Like, are we just going to say, fuck it, and let him wrestle people?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. You start a biodome and you start testing people so you show the leads the way.

Speaker 9 Obviously, you thought this through.

Speaker 3 Are you going to just put gas masks on both of them? Yeah. And so that you know that they're safe.

Speaker 1 Or if he says no to that, do we go tuncil?

Speaker 9 Yeah, yeah, some hits with tuncil and then wrestle.

Speaker 1 Yes, yep, yes.

Speaker 3 If you really want Steve to be all in on this, have him be like, what's the show?

Speaker 3 Watch what happens live on Bravo, and have him be the bartender that's just in the back of your shot the entire time that you do a show.

Speaker 3 He's just getting hammered back there, so he's like wrestling with his own liver.

Speaker 1 Oh, and he just pukes at the end.

Speaker 3 And if Stanford doesn't, if Stanford Steve doesn't puke before the end of the show, he's fired.

Speaker 1 Or Stanford Steve could just do the CrossFit games like live on set every night.

Speaker 1 You just need to basically use Steve's body

Speaker 1 at your will here and just entertain us with him.

Speaker 9 They're like a crash test dummy. But let me tell you this: basically, I don't know if you've I don't know if you've had cocktails with him.

Speaker 1 Like an hour, an hour.

Speaker 9 Not enough to impact him. An hour will do nothing.
Like, it won't, he won't wobble after an hour.

Speaker 9 Like, that's not enough to put a dent in him.

Speaker 1 He's, he is unlike anyone I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 I remember I once went to, he was, I think it was, we were at Wrigley, and he had to keep his, I let him keep his bag because he was leaving right after at my buddy's bar.

Speaker 1 My buddy opened up his bar at 10 a.m. early, and we sat down, and I finished my first beer, and he was on number four.
And I was like, how is this, how is this possible? And he just, he's not faced.

Speaker 1 He's just a, he's a mythological creature.

Speaker 3 I think it was about 5.30 in the morning down in the French quarter after the national championship game.

Speaker 3 And I totally forgot this, but I I was trying to tackle Steve in the bar, and he was like stone-cold sober. He told me about it maybe a week later.
He was like, Yeah, you couldn't bring me down.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my balance was too good.

Speaker 1 He's so, yeah, so we need to start doing science experiments on Steve.

Speaker 9 Listen,

Speaker 9 I think we can get through the master's week of broadcast without having to use him as a tackling dummy or a crash test dummy or like a human experiment of just booze and whatever else.

Speaker 9 But on the back side of that, anything is fair game um although wait we'll have the nfl draft past nfl draft if there's nothing on the horizon for may

Speaker 9 then we'll just turn steve into a piñata and and it'll be like a it'll be a never-ending science experiment yeah like what it'll just be like what's up with steve's body and then every night you just do something different

Speaker 1 sure

Speaker 3 or yeah he pierces a different part of his body every night and you have to guess what he's he shows up in like a skin-tight polo like andrew puomo and he's just got a little nipple ring poking through everyone has to guess where it is What is that all about?

Speaker 9 Is that confirmed?

Speaker 3 I think he's just got unusual nipples. And far be it from this podcast to castigate somebody for having weird nipples.
I've got four of them. Big cat's got pepperonis over there.

Speaker 1 You know what it is, though? It's the big crest. So the state crest that you have on the polo, that rubs up against the nipples.

Speaker 1 And I think that that's done its damage when you wear that polo multiple days in a row.

Speaker 9 I studied it, and I thought it could have been just an odd sort of hair pattern. You know,

Speaker 9 a lot of people got kind of that weird hair growth around your nip, which is why you got to keep yourself tidied up. And I thought maybe that was it.
But you know what?

Speaker 9 I mean, the man's doing his best. He's got far bigger issues to concern himselves with.

Speaker 9 Obviously, big catch, just because I want to circle back, because the most important thing, obviously, in sports, it's about the pandemic.

Speaker 9 And anything we've talked about Steve is a science experiment. This is second on our list

Speaker 9 to our concern about the health of everyone listening.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and the kids. And that's how we'll end.

Speaker 1 How pumped are you that you're a father of three right now? Listen,

Speaker 9 anybody out there, and you're obviously your audience is skewed young. So

Speaker 9 I don't even know what the percentages are, but most of them, I'm guessing, don't have a kid, let alone three.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 9 what you can't grasp is what every day in your house with no games to look forward to, no school for them to go to, and only like the period of time from breakfast to lunch, lunch to a nap, nap to dinner, dinner to bath, bath to bed.

Speaker 9 You're trying to navigate that. See, Big Cat, you're saying, uh-huh, like

Speaker 1 you don't. I only have one, but I'm just saying the naps.
The naps are like the navigation naps are so funny.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but little cat's a great sleeper, isn't he?

Speaker 1 He is, but it still is. Like,

Speaker 1 he's also got to the point now where it's like, my entire life as a father is just

Speaker 1 putting things just a little bit farther out of his reach because that's all he wants to do is just get everything.

Speaker 1 So it's a good time. Naturally.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 But yeah, what I'm saying here is, is if you're one of those parents, and they're parents, then you encounter them in your social circles that are, you know, they'll try to kind of do this thing where they see, do you watch, like, oh, do your, do you let your kids watch TV or how much screen time do your kids have?

Speaker 9 And to those people that want to do that judgmental thing, and I've said this consistently, like, if you don't turn on Paw Patrol or if you don't give your kid an iPad and they only eat organic stuff, then good for fucking you.

Speaker 9 Your kid's probably going to be the king of the world and my kid's probably going to be unemployed because they watch Paw Patrol. But you know what?

Speaker 9 We're at least going to have a half an hour in our house where it's not abject chaos. And so I'm going to take my approach and I'm going to think that that's the way to do it.

Speaker 9 And you can be over there with your musilix or whatever the hell it's called and your no screen time.

Speaker 9 Because right now you better be able to have at least an hour where you can press play on something. And if you don't, then I don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 1 I've actually thought about this way too much that I would care to say, but like what with the cultural long term in like 15 years, there will be so many kids that will have the same cultural touch

Speaker 1 like tone here from this coronavirus where they're like, oh, I remember this because we watched it every day for three months straight. And everyone can reference that.

Speaker 1 I think it's actually going to be great. We're going to get to a point where every kid can call back something in the podcast that they're obviously hosting in 18 years, and it will be hilarious.

Speaker 9 But here, and we're rarely serious, but you guys do serious well when you need to.

Speaker 9 I do seriously wonder this question.

Speaker 9 Like, if you're a student, I don't know what's going to happen because no one's going to go back to school, and then apparently you just graduate, but maybe you're going to graduate or you're going to go to the next grade, but you didn't learn the thing you were supposed to learn, right?

Speaker 9 Whatever it is you're meant to learn in first grade or second grade or eighth grade or whatever grade you don't finish, and then so you're in ninth grade and you're supposed to know the eighth grade thing, but you didn't learn it.

Speaker 9 And we just skip it.

Speaker 9 I don't know what the toll is of the stuff that isn't going to get learned during this chunk of time or if it even matters.

Speaker 9 Maybe it turns out that school was all just a hoax because, frankly, a lot of the stuff that you learn in school doesn't apply anyway.

Speaker 9 But I honestly wonder about the stuff that's not going to get learned and how that impacts people. And I don't know how you get into college if you're like waiting on grades.

Speaker 9 These are things that I try not to let keep me up at night and they don't. But if you really kind of go through the exercise, I don't know what the answers to these questions are.

Speaker 3 No, you're right. That's a really good point because that stuff becomes compounding after a while.

Speaker 3 Like, if you don't finish third grade, you don't know what the mystery powders were, and then you get to fourth grade, and you don't know the difference between baking powder, baking powder, and baking soda, and then you don't know what your drugs are mixed with when you turn 22.

Speaker 3 And that actually could impact some people's lives down the road.

Speaker 9 Negatively or positively.

Speaker 1 Maybe I don't know. We don't ever wait.
You never know. It's butterfly.
I don't know these things. Yeah.
It's true.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 9 It's the butterfly, you know, flaps its wings wherever.

Speaker 1 I actually love that idea, though, of a kid

Speaker 1 graduating college, and we're talking 20 years from now, or

Speaker 1 maybe 15 years from now, graduates college, goes in for an interview, and they're like, how do you draw a cursive F? And they're like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 3 That was the corona month. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shit. That was

Speaker 1 for a billion dollars. They don't teach cursive.

Speaker 9 I swear to to God, I think my youngest kid will, I think he'll live his entire life not knowing how to write anything.

Speaker 1 I don't think he'll write.

Speaker 9 He grabbed some chalk today, but the problem is he tried to eat it. But that's a whole, he hasn't worn a shirt.
My little guy, I said on our podcast, not as highly rated as yours. My kid is like,

Speaker 9 if he had a mullet and a cigarette, he's like every guy and cops that gets arrested.

Speaker 1 Everyone.

Speaker 9 Like, he's going to be smoking and going, my old lady, she's out back.

Speaker 9 He's two. That's him.
He eats chalk, and he needs to, I need to teach him to smoke darts right now because he's that guy.

Speaker 1 Okay, well,

Speaker 1 here's the one thing I'll leave you with.

Speaker 1 Whenever you wake up in the morning and there's your kids are running around, you're going crazy, just remember Hank is still getting some beautiful shut-eyes. So

Speaker 1 he's just enjoying those last few hours.

Speaker 9 I did a thing for Ernie Johnson where

Speaker 9 it was like a live Twitter deal, and people were asking questions, and everyone asked questions about

Speaker 9 you guys, about Rossillo. And then there was one guy that just sent just one word, Hank, like 50 consecutive times.
And so finally,

Speaker 9 I just said, what up, Hank?

Speaker 1 So I love you, Hank. Speak on it.
Love you too, Scott. Speak on Hank.

Speaker 9 I'm really, I'm proud of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Proud of Hank.

Speaker 9 Although he missed an open shot or something. Did he miss a guy that was open or something?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm having a tough time in Warzone, but we're getting better every day. I got nothing but time to get better.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 I was going to say, the good news is you should be great by Thursday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the plan.

Speaker 1 We're going to leave this whole thing, and Hank's going to have a purple star in video games. So it's going to be great.
It's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Scott, thank you as always. We appreciate it.
Everyone, watch Sports Center every single night, still going. And the

Speaker 1 SVP odds.

Speaker 3 The Spod. The Spod.
The Spod.

Speaker 1 That you can listen to every Swedish. And also

Speaker 1 Scott is very, very great at being humble when he's like, I don't even know who we're going to have on. I think his last two guests were Justin Thomas and Bill Self.

Speaker 1 So he's doing okay with the guests.

Speaker 9 We're doing okay.

Speaker 1 I appreciate you, boys.

Speaker 9 It's always a pleasure. And I mean this sincerely to you guys and everybody out there.
Stay safe, be good, wash your hands, wash your butt, and we'll see you on the other side.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Scott. Thanks, Gat.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, let's get some segments. First up, we're going to do our Mount Flushmore of TV characters.
So

Speaker 1 it is the worst TV characters, but it's the Mount Flushmore of TV characters.

Speaker 3 Can I do a fact check real quick on our candy Mount Rushmore? Fact check, sorry, to our Canadian listeners who might have been triggered by us discussing Smarties.

Speaker 3 I know it was on your list, big cat, and we agreed that Smarties are not a good candy.

Speaker 3 In Canada, Smarties are a different type of candy, which are actually good. Oh.
And what we call Smarties are called rockets. What? So, yeah, so we're trashing rockets.

Speaker 1 I actually wouldn't. I would like rockets.

Speaker 3 Just based on the name.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Wouldn't you?

Speaker 3 It's a better name.

Speaker 1 It's a nice name. Yeah.
Interesting. So what are Smarties.
What are Smarties in Canada?

Speaker 3 Smarties are rockets.

Speaker 1 Oh, what are the actual Smarties?

Speaker 3 They look like more

Speaker 3 round, fruity.

Speaker 3 Not sugar. There's sugar in them, but they're kind of like fruity, chewy things, I think.
Hmm. Interesting.
Kind of like a circular starburst.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. All right.
Well, sorry to Canada. So let's do Mount Flushmore of TV characters.
PFT, it's Wednesday, so you're starting. And then it's me, then it's Hank.
You get two in a row.

Speaker 3 Let's go. Okay.

Speaker 1 PFT.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 3 My first pick,

Speaker 3 worst TV characters. I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 No, it's Mount Flushmore of Twitter.

Speaker 3 Mount Flushmore of TV characters.

Speaker 3 Fuck.

Speaker 3 Janice Soprano. Ooh.
Tony Sister. Okay.
With the Rolling Stones tattoo on her boob.

Speaker 1 Interesting. I actually

Speaker 1 have two Soprano characters on my list. She was one of them.

Speaker 3 I think I know what you're otherwise.

Speaker 1 But my number one.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 AJ Soprano is the worst character of all time.

Speaker 3 I fucking hate him. Oh, he actually wasn't on my list.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Who's the other one on your list? Oh, you can't.

Speaker 5 You don't want to say that. I mean, I'll take it.
I didn't have the sister.

Speaker 1 AJ Soprano is the worst.

Speaker 5 Let's just go across the board. The mom Soprano.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Livia. Yeah, she's bad person.
But she also, like, was so quick. And also, it's weird to watch that season two where the real person died.
Yeah, and they

Speaker 1 did, like, hologram. Yeah, the actress died in real life.

Speaker 5 That's a shame.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so then they did hologram for her.

Speaker 5 Maybe that's why I hated her.

Speaker 1 She probably... It's actually weird to think how long she would have been in the script.

Speaker 3 She was method acting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but how long would she be in the script? She knew she was going faster. She was going to pass away.
But if it...

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be weird if she was in season six. All right.
Your second pick?

Speaker 5 Ramsey Bolton.

Speaker 5 The scene when he made Stannis kill Davos in order just to live,

Speaker 5 and then he ends up killing him anyway.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
Well, dude, it's been out for a really long time. It hasn't been out for that long.

Speaker 5 I honestly, we were doing this list. He is the worst.

Speaker 1 How could you do that?

Speaker 3 He's the worst. I would never do that to you.

Speaker 1 He's the worst. I don't even know what to do with that.

Speaker 5 But yeah, that scene with Stannis is one of the worst. He was the worst character.
Literally, when I was watching the show, every time you came on, I wanted to fast-forward.

Speaker 3 Yep. Not that great of a spoiler because I don't even know who he is.

Speaker 1 Okay, my second pick is going to be. I feel good.
I got my first two picks.

Speaker 1 Skylar White.

Speaker 3 Good pick. Yeah.
Good pick.

Speaker 1 She is AJ and Skylar White are my two. I fucking hate both of them.

Speaker 3 Marie White is awful, too.

Speaker 1 Not Marie White, Marie Hank.

Speaker 1 Marie, yeah, Hank.

Speaker 3 Marie Schroeder.

Speaker 1 Shadrick. Schroeder.
Schroeder. Schroeder.
Schroeder.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Marie Schroeder. Yeah.
Awful character. In her purple that she wore all the time.
That was like the only thing that her character had. She's like, I wear purple and I steal.

Speaker 3 My second pick is going to be Joffrey. Hate Joffrey.
Absolutely hate him. Every time he's on the screen, I want to throw something at it.

Speaker 3 I don't think that anybody would blame me if I broke a television from seeing Joffrey walk across the fucking screen and try to suck on his mom's tit and then murder somebody who's innocent.

Speaker 3 I hate that kid.

Speaker 1 I mean, the kid who actually sucks on the mom's tits is way worse.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but Joffrey's like jealous that he doesn't get to suck on his mom's tit like that. He looks like Jimmy Clausen, except like even a worse person now.
Fuck Joffrey. Hate Joffrey.

Speaker 3 My third pick is going to be Frannie from Homeland. The baby.
Claire Danes, baby. Awful kid.
They wrote it off after one season, and they were just like,

Speaker 3 let's pretend that Claire Danes doesn't have a daughter because this is going nowhere and we hate her.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. I'll go with Robert California.
That fucking sucked. I've been re-watching The Office, and it's...
I can actually, I actually think D'Angelo Vickers is pretty funny.

Speaker 1 It's only like three episodes. But then Robert California just, it's like, all right, this show is completely over now.

Speaker 1 This is also where we would say that if Ryan Rosillo was doing this podcast with us right now, he would have picked Pam Beasley one, two, three, and four.

Speaker 1 He's not an incel, though, guys.

Speaker 5 Ziggy from The Wire.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like Ziggy. Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 He was funny.

Speaker 5 No, he was super cringe. Yeah, he was just super, he just made me cringe.
And I had Robert California, so I'll go with just Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.

Speaker 5 I had never watched that show, but he's the main character of it, and I just hate that show's existence and popularity.

Speaker 5 So I'm just going to throw him on the list.

Speaker 3 That's one of those ones where you just get mad whenever somebody reminds you of Big Bang, number one show on television.

Speaker 5 And he is the person I directly associate with that show.

Speaker 1 All right, this might be recency bias.

Speaker 5 I was also going to put the whole cast of friends, but it's only one case.

Speaker 1 This might be recency bias, but I fucking hate Charlotte for Mozark. I fucking hate her.
I don't know what happened this season.

Speaker 1 If you haven't seen it, I'm not going to give any spoilers, but the fact that she just became like a full adult who was drinking wine and like part of the fucking drug business, she's so annoying.

Speaker 1 And she tried to divorce her fucking family when they were in the middle of fighting against the drug lord. Like, she is the worst.
I hate her.

Speaker 3 Yeah, she's not great. I thought that you were going to go with the mom from Ozark because she's actually very similar to Skylar White.

Speaker 1 Who? The mom from Ozark?

Speaker 3 Yes, she's all innocent at first. Yes.
Finds out about the husband, then she tries to take over the business and flex her muscles. Yes.
All right, my last pick. I'm going to go with Ross from Friends.

Speaker 3 I don't watch Friends, but Ross sucks. You just hate him? Ross sucks.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 I had one that I wanted to throw out to you guys. I'm actually surprised no one picked Bran from

Speaker 1 Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 I don't like him. He's alpha.
He's more of like the writers, though.

Speaker 5 The writers. Like, he was good.
He was interesting, but when they made him the main guy, is when people hated him.

Speaker 5 But I didn't hate, like, I was interested in him, and some of his parts were the most interesting parts up until the very end.

Speaker 3 A couple things about Bran. One, it's cool as shit that he was a good climber.
Like, when you're 11 years old, that's the best thing that you can do. True.

Speaker 3 Two, he saw people having sex, which is great also if you're 11 years old. He didn't have to walk anywhere.
He got carried around all the time. Like, Bran is...

Speaker 3 Bran pretty much hacked life back in the Westeros age. What age is that, by the way? Is that like, when does that take place?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 No idea. Well, it's made up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's made up. That's what I was going to say.

Speaker 3 Okay. So So whatever age it took place in brands.
There is a time. He kind of had it all figured out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, all right, so the only one that I think.

Speaker 5 Well, if you're asking in terms of that, it's like 400 years

Speaker 5 AC after the first Targaryen. Gotcha.
So they're 400 years into the Targaryen rule.

Speaker 1 Gotcha. That's right.

Speaker 1 So one guy I was going to throw on there.

Speaker 1 Tell me what you guys think. I think...

Speaker 1 Vincent Chase is a fucking terrible character.

Speaker 6 Vinny Chase? I hate Vinny Chase.

Speaker 3 But he's the strongest person.

Speaker 5 Chase. What?

Speaker 1 Without Vinny Chase. What does Vinny Chase do this memorable besides make stupid decisions?

Speaker 3 He fucks smoke shows.

Speaker 1 That's all he does, Hanky. Hangs out and smokes weed with his boys.

Speaker 1 Hangs out and smokes weed with his boys. He fucking saved Turtle.
Dude, he saved Turtle. Now,

Speaker 1 I didn't watch the last four seasons of whatever. I had just always hated it.
That's the worst takeaway.

Speaker 3 I mean, would Entourage have been better if it was just them hanging out in New York all the time?

Speaker 1 Maybe. Probably.
It might have been. It would have been like a kind of, yeah, they could have maybe made it like a Sopranos thing.
They would have had to hustle for everything? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 He always cared about his art more than, you know, like the popularity.

Speaker 1 Then why did he do Aquaman? Because he's... Why did he do Aquaman? He had to take care of his Medaim.
He had to take care of his team. So he didn't always care about his art.
No, he did.

Speaker 3 He did that so that he could make Medellin.

Speaker 1 I understand.

Speaker 1 But he clearly. He did it to take care of

Speaker 5 his own.

Speaker 1 Fuck that guy.

Speaker 1 All right. I mean, I didn't put him on, but

Speaker 1 I put him on my shortlist.

Speaker 3 If we're going to go with reality show, what about Tila Tequila?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we should do our own reality show one. Okay.
We should save that. I mean, that's

Speaker 1 still

Speaker 5 tequila was hot until like post nothing. Yeah, no, I know, but like while the show was on.

Speaker 1 No, we should wait. Wait for that.
We'll do that. This could last forever.

Speaker 3 Mike Carey, he was pretty annoying when he was on TV.

Speaker 3 The referee who got everything wrong.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 Tony Kornheiser sucked at Monday Night Football.

Speaker 1 These are not television characters.

Speaker 3 Joe Theisman was bad at Monday Night Football.

Speaker 1 Now we're just doing worst announcers.

Speaker 3 That's it.

Speaker 3 All the other announcers are good. Marie White, I would have put her on my list if

Speaker 3 she was a little bit more of a character.

Speaker 3 She was still like just a little bit of a character.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she sucked too. She sucked big time.
All right, let's do our last two segments. PFT, you got one more ad, and then we'll do Guys on Chicks, and we also have Shoe Roast for the Bucks uniform.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so before we get into Guys on Chicks and all that, the Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's do some segments.

Speaker 1 A couple last segments. We have Guys on Chicks coming up, Bucks uniform,

Speaker 1 release. We are all were waiting for the Creamsicles.

Speaker 1 And then they release these uniforms that are.

Speaker 1 And And in the video, they have Chris Godwin wearing number 12, which is so bucks to be like, hey, we just got Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 Do you think we could maybe throw him in a uniform real quick for this fucking hype video?

Speaker 3 We think Tom is going to pay Chris for number 12. That's one of my favorite

Speaker 1 storylines. I don't think he paid him anything.

Speaker 3 Just gave it up? It already happened.

Speaker 1 Godwin took number 14. I don't know.
I never saw the story. I know that they've officially switched.
I do not know if they actually like Brady paid it.

Speaker 3 There has to be some sort of charity aspect.

Speaker 1 That is the way they do it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was upset that there were no creamsicles. Maybe those will be the color rush.
Did they show the color rush?

Speaker 1 No. Oh, they might have the gray color rush? Yeah, the gray color rush.

Speaker 1 Or the all-pewter. Sorry.
Sorry. All-pewter look.

Speaker 1 I do not

Speaker 1 actually know what's different.

Speaker 3 I'll tell you what's different. They got rid of the alarm clock.
Okay. Tom versus Time.

Speaker 1 Tom wins. Nice.

Speaker 1 What else is different?

Speaker 3 That's about it. Besides that, they kind of look like Georgia uniforms, like University of Georgia.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, I don't really know what else to...

Speaker 3 Well, it says the Buccaneers new uniforms pay homage to the glory years of the franchise.

Speaker 1 The glory years. The glory years.
Oh, they won a Super Bowl. They won a Super Bowl.
Yeah. They won a Super Bowl, so that's cool.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, the alarm clock numbers are gone, but they say that they add a futuristic twist to these. I don't see anything futuristic at all.

Speaker 1 No, I don't either. Actually, in fact,

Speaker 1 it was futuristic what they had. Yes.
And now they've taken away the future. It was ahead of their time.
Maybe that's what it is. The future is now.
Who got it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a nice subtle way of telling us, Bucks. Good job.

Speaker 3 They don't have those little vampire cuffs that the Saints have. You know, the ones at the collar? Yep.
That have the points. It looks like Dracula a little bit.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I thought maybe they'd go with those. But yeah, it's just solid colors, solid numbers.

Speaker 1 Pretty normal. Brady's going to look so weird in this.

Speaker 1 Hank, Brady's going to look so weird in this.

Speaker 5 He put up a video and he wrote an article on the Players Tribune, and I haven't been able to watch either or read either.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you should. Yeah.
I won't. All right.
Let's do.

Speaker 1 Let's do it. Let's do guys on checks.

Speaker 5 Hey, PMT guys, if men are only now starting to wash their hands after using the bathroom because of coronavirus, does this mean that we've previously been unknowingly second-hand touching an inordinate amount of dicks?

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that... yes.
But even if we did wash our hands after we used the restroom, guys, just our hands find our way to our groin so many times per day. Like, you have to make adjustments.

Speaker 3 Also, as Scott Van Pelt said, you should wash your hands before you touch your penis. Because I would assume that my penis is cleaner than my hands at any given moment during the day.
Right.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. My penis is

Speaker 1 mostly clean. Mostly clean.
Well, you'd have to work out for it to not be. I don't work out.
True.

Speaker 5 Hey, Small Honk, Ginger Joe, exotic, and Big Cat King.

Speaker 5 If you swallow a load by someone who has recovered from COVID, do you think you will get immunity?

Speaker 1 Yes. That's absolutely how science works.
I know there's a lot of pseudoscience going around, but that's science.

Speaker 3 That's the Lazarus effect. I believe Dr.
Oz said that this morning.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 Hello, my favorite podcast, Dash.

Speaker 1 Isn't that a vaccine?

Speaker 3 The Lazarus effect? No. The vaccine? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Corona Conk.

Speaker 3 This is just coming across the wire right now. Breaking moose.

Speaker 3 Filating somebody who has had the coronavirus or does a podcast

Speaker 3 will cure you of the coronavirus and prevent all further symptoms. So we've got that figured out.
Yep. Crisis averted.

Speaker 1 Here we go, science.

Speaker 3 Time to get to work.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 5 Not a suggestion or FAQ, but do you ever wonder if the cure for coronavirus is something wild that no one has tried before? Like human shit?

Speaker 5 Like what if the cure was poop and everyone just had to start eating shit?

Speaker 3 I think people have tried that.

Speaker 1 Pretty sure people have human shit before.

Speaker 5 Like what if the cure for coronavirus is out there and we just haven't thought of it yet and it requires something

Speaker 1 I did read something about vitamin C. I've been fucking loading up on Clementines.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that was.

Speaker 3 So wait, what the theory behind this is maybe there's something that no human has ever done

Speaker 3 and that thing will

Speaker 3 end up curing the virus. Correct.
So what haven't humans done? I feel like humans have just about done it all. We're pretty good that way.
The Lions winning the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 If the Lions win the Super Bowl, that's the cure for coronavirus.

Speaker 1 That means they got to play football. Yep.

Speaker 5 Hello, my favorite podcast, Dads, Honkinbubba. I have a question about how you go about choosing.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa. You guys are the dads?

Speaker 5 I think it's my favorite podcast, Dads, Kama. Oh,

Speaker 3 okay. The way that you said it, it sounded like you were the dads, which is, I mean, you kind of are, though, of the actual sound.
I was going to say, Fairy, like, we act like teenagers.

Speaker 5 I have a question about how you go about choosing which interview to run when you have a bunch stacked up. I started thinking about this during Super Bowl week.

Speaker 5 Is it based on if they have something relevant happening soon, or is it just fuck it, let's run whatever, because we as AWLs will always listen.

Speaker 3 Well, so that's a question for you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just asked yourself a question.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, but that leads to me asking you guys questions.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 3 So you have to, so you've buried yourself in a little trap here, Hank. I don't choose is the answer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you just text the group, text you, you say, what are we running tomorrow? And then it's pretty much whoever just answers first, me or PFT.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and then Bubba will say, also just to remind you guys we have, and then he'll list like 10 other interviews we forgot about.

Speaker 1 Although we're getting close to, I mean, we're here right now in the studio refreshing, so some good ones coming up.

Speaker 5 What's up, Big Dog, PFT, and Frank? What's your approach when Stella or Leroy run into current dogs on the street during the daily allotment of outside time?

Speaker 5 Does the current crisis call for a quick pull away, or are they still allowed to the occasional butt sniff? Oh, it's a bad thing. Assuming you're not dealing with a mask-wearing dog owner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Stella can't butt sniff. She sees the dog.
She wants to go to fucking town. She barks at every dog.

Speaker 5 What? Town isn't like bite or town isn't.

Speaker 1 She would never bite. She just all barked no bite.
But like, yeah,

Speaker 1 if she sees the dog in the dog park off-leash, she's all friendly and everything. But yeah, if she sees the dog on the street, she's like, holy shit, fuck this guy.
Where'd you come from?

Speaker 1 She's surprised every time she sees another dog.

Speaker 3 Well, I think when they're on the leash, she feels like she's protecting.

Speaker 1 Correct. Correct.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so with Leroy, no, he just, I just let him get smelled he doesn't do much sniffing anymore because you can't really you know see the dog that he's smelling but he'll just stand there and allow the other dog to sniff him like a gentleman stella also does the thing where it's if a dog doesn't look at her she won't mind but if a dog locks eyes she's like fuck this guy let's go you want to go she's pretty much like constantly like you want to go you want to fucking take it outside it's like we are outside this nasty of dogs yeah exactly just a hockey player you want to go let's go okay uh with leroy he's developed this new fun habit of taking shits in and crosswalks.

Speaker 1 Oh, Stella does that.

Speaker 1 She stops traffic.

Speaker 3 It's not bad anymore because there's no traffic on the street, which is good. But yeah, he's been getting really into the crapping on the white line.

Speaker 5 All right, last one. Hey, boys, especially honk.
I've been quarantining with my boyfriend for two weeks now.

Speaker 5 We've only been dating a few months, but I pretty much moved into his place at this point because I didn't want to be stuck with my roommates.

Speaker 5 Anyways, yesterday I got up to go to the bathroom, and he said, Where are you going? And I said, To the bathroom, and he replied, Again?

Speaker 5 I was mortified.

Speaker 1 how can we recover from this uh stop eating so much fiber eat more cheese that's it that's definitely happening everywhere let's order fondue that's happening everywhere though like listen man or woman everyone's going through this right now where it's like people are judging each other's bowel movements because we're all lockstep just watching each other the whole day it just happens just got to go to the no judgment zone don't say it don't talk about it sometimes they'll just disappear, let them leave, let them come back.

Speaker 3 That's it. I started pooping again.
There you go. So that's good.
So maybe things will turn, maybe it'll swing the other way with your pendulum.

Speaker 3 A big relationship saver right now is going to be very loud bathroom fans, especially if you've got a small apartment. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like if you have a loud bathroom fan, he's not going to be questioning what you're doing there because he can't hear it. Right.

Speaker 3 But if they're splashing, if it sounds like you're wrestling an alligator, then yeah, he's going to eventually be like, hey, maybe

Speaker 3 limit it to like four flushes a day?

Speaker 1 Yes. Matches.
Get matches. Matches.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Light some matches.
For breeze. Lights for breeze.
For breeze, baby, for breeze. All right.
That's our show. We'll see everyone on Friday.
Oh, watch the, what's it called?

Speaker 3 Watch the scheme on HBO. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That's next Friday. Next Friday.

Speaker 3 Watch the scheme. This Friday.

Speaker 3 We're going to watch the garbage pick and field goal kicker.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 On YouTube. On YouTube.
So we're going to upload it to YouTube.

Speaker 1 We're going to tweet out the link. We've got to tweet out the link so people can watch it.

Speaker 5 We'll put it on the blog. We'll put it in the link on the blog with the podcast.

Speaker 3 Tomorrow.

Speaker 1 And we'll tweet it out also. Okay, cool.
And we'll tweet it out also.

Speaker 3 And we'll tweet it out also. So that's your homework for Friday.
Yes. Take notes.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 on,

Speaker 1 take on me

Speaker 1 all day.

Speaker 1 I hope you said it's my feet stumbling away.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry. Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 Take only

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 Take on me I'll take

Speaker 1 your

Speaker 1 hell

Speaker 3 It's pardon my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.