Kevin Bacon, Jags Coach Doug Marrone, And Media Trades

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Speaker 1 Experienced on today's part in my take, we have a twofer, a twofer for the people. We have Kevin Bacon and Coach Doug Marone.
Doug Marone, recurring guest, Kevin Bacon, first-time guest.

Speaker 1 We've got Bacon and Bologna. Bacon and bologna.
Some keto today, boys. Fry it up.
Delicious. Great interview with both those guys.

Speaker 1 A little extra bonus twofer on a Friday before all the crazy March Madness action starts next week. We have Fire Fest of the week.
We have a dramatic reading of LeBron James caption and FAQs.

Speaker 1 Before we do all that, though, pardon my take is Britain.

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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, March 6th, and we have

Speaker 1 a media trade.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy. Media trade.
So nothing gets the juices flowing quite like a media trade. This really tells you where we are in the calendar.
The NFL league season hasn't started. Free agency hasn't started.

Speaker 1 March Madness hasn't started. NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup playoffs, they haven't started.
So we're talking media trades.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't poo-poo this news like that because I feel like even if this was the end of the NFL season, we're still leading with this media during the super bowls and we'd be like whoa this is huge so al michael yep is in talks apparently abc disney they own espn ever heard of them they're trying to get al michaels

Speaker 1 nbc doesn't want to give him up but espn wants al michaels maybe team him up with sheriff Peyton Manning, PayPal, put them in the booth together and make TV magic happen. Okay, so

Speaker 1 essentially, yeah, ESPN is trying to get the perfect booth in their minds of Al Michaels and PayPay together so they can get in the Super Bowl rotation.

Speaker 1 Everyone's going to watch Monday Night Football for that.

Speaker 1 It actually makes sense because NBC has an embarrassment of riches with Mike Tarico waiting in the wing. He is there so that he can eventually take over the Sunday night job.

Speaker 1 So it's like if they lose Al Michaels, obviously Al Michaels is a legend, but they have a guy who can slide right in, no problem, easy peasy. The question is, what can NBC get back in the trade?

Speaker 1 They got to, like, what is, do, are all the contracts. They're cap ramifications.
Like, Stephen A. Smith, is that a

Speaker 1 phone too fast?

Speaker 1 Stephen A. Smith is untradeable.
What about Bomani's expiring contract? Bomani and Pablo as a team, as a unit going in there. That cap space comes off.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I could see Chris Collinsworth sliding into the two of them. Chris Collinsworth sliding into Mike Torico is actually, like, given Torico's greasy nature, I could see that happening.

Speaker 1 Also, Jack Collinsworth just signed with NBC. Never saw that one coming.
Maybe he gets, maybe he gets the booth right away. The Collinsworth-Collinsworth.
He's earned it.

Speaker 1 What about Bob Lay?

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, he's kind of retired. He kind of retired, but you know, it's been a lifelong dream of his probably to do

Speaker 1 Summer Olympics.

Speaker 5 He's been with the company since it started, but he hasn't gotten that chance.

Speaker 1 He's Marion Hosa having the allergic reaction to Pads, so he's still on the balance sheet. Right.
He could come back. Bob Lee, he's out.

Speaker 1 He's having an allergic reaction to his beard, which he has to shave anyways for the coronavirus. So he'll go to NBC.
He'll cover the Summer Olympics.

Speaker 1 You know that Bob Lee is not going to get pink eye. That guy does not eat ass.
Bob Lee

Speaker 1 has an allergic reaction to the fact that the NFL has seemingly gotten the concussions under control. Right.
There are no more concussions to report on, so he is

Speaker 1 can't do it. He can't be around anymore.

Speaker 1 When Bob Lee saw, so nobody was getting hurt anymore, he just packed up his desk. He was like, my work here is done.

Speaker 1 What about if NBC got the rights to Playmaker season two?

Speaker 1 And they got to make the show. I would love to if

Speaker 1 this actually was going on and they're like, well, you know what? NBC's like, you know what? We'll throw in the A-10. Like, go ahead.
You can have Buck now, Colgate.

Speaker 1 Or like Mike Breen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mike Breen. Ooh, good one.
You know that

Speaker 1 Dave Pash is like knocking on Jimmy Petaro's door right now, being like, please trade me. Please get me the fuck out of here.
Right, right. I need to get out.

Speaker 1 Oh, that'd be an awesome booth, though, for basketball if it's Al Michaels and Bill Walton. Yes.
Fuck. A little scotch and soda going on.

Speaker 1 Do you think that they, do you think ESPN at any point was like, hey, how about you? How about we package Max Kellerman and this is like, hello? Are you still there? Yeah. Hello.
Hello. Hello.

Speaker 1 Did you hang up? Did we lose you? They're just trying to unload people. He used to rap.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Michelle Beatles' expiring contract would probably be very attractive. She doesn't even like football.
That's right. Is Leroy going to get in traded?

Speaker 5 Because apparently he is an NBC employee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Leroy is.

Speaker 1 Leroy's a little bit on the hot seat. We're starting a rumor.
We'll get to that later.

Speaker 1 What about Mr. Portnoy for Dickie V? Oh, okay.
Oh, so we're now talking about all kinds of things. I'm saying, like, who would we trade for Marshall? Yeah.
Mr. Portnoy.
No, I would. No.

Speaker 1 I would say Mr. Portnoy is more valuable than Dickie V at this point.
Professions. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mr. Portnoy still has like a decade left, at least.
We will trade

Speaker 1 Jake Marsh on weekends only in exchange for Darren Revelle's children. We would actually have to put for Mr.
Portnoy. We would have to put a clause in it.
Like, we will not trade Mr. Portnoy

Speaker 1 if Donald Trump becomes president again in 2020, because that will give him another four years of life. Yes.
Like, he will be, he'll be still feeling young, scrappy, complaining.

Speaker 1 Like, he'll do everything because he has that in his life. So, if that, if, if the election goes to the Democrats, Mr.
Portnoy becomes an asset we no longer want.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, it's like the old, what do you do when you finally chase the car you've been chasing? Yes. Or when you catch the car you've been chasing.
What about, oh my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What if it's Greeny? Greenie's untouchable. You're right.
The NBC wouldn't even ask.

Speaker 1 That would stall all negotiations. Because Greenie's magic doesn't work the same for me if he's on NBC.
No. No.
He's on Peacock.

Speaker 1 It would be a non-starter if they went. Maybe that's how they anchor it.
They're like Greenie, and then they come back and they're like, okay, how about just Stephen A? Yeah, that's smart.

Speaker 1 But to address your previous allegations against Leroy, Leroy reported accurately last night, in my opinion, and in his estimation, that Eli Manning was having dinner. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is actually, instead of the Tom Brady update, we're just going to do Eli Manning Bears updates for you. Okay.

Speaker 1 Eli Manning was having dinner with the Bears last night, allegedly. Leroy heard that from a source close to the situation.
I've heard from sources. Sources inside the restaurant.

Speaker 1 I've heard from sources inside House Hall that that's patently not true. Well, that would be a very logical thing for them to say.
Because they're tampering.

Speaker 1 Because if they admitted to it, then they would get punished did you see a picture i saw a picture of a text message of someone saying eli's in a restaurant yeah that's and that's good enough to roll for it i don't i don't want to get anybody in trouble for it um but yes i am still relatively confident that eli manning or leroy is relatively confident do you ever feel bad that leroy might have reported this incorrectly and then started an entire news cycle on this why would i seems like

Speaker 1 it wasn't there and then that guy who's that guy well yeah his story so leroy's reporting the Marquee Network. Leroy's reporting was confirmed.
Well, no. And they added details onto it.

Speaker 1 No, he actually said no. He said,

Speaker 1 he phrased the tweet like it was confirmed. Then he's like, I'm not confirming this whatsoever.
I'm just talking about a story that's going around. He added details to it.
So he stacked the details.

Speaker 1 I truly believe that Eli Manning was having dinner with some representative from the Bears last night. They've said openly that they're looking for a veteran quarterback to bring in.

Speaker 1 There's no more veteran than Eli Manning. Yeah.
Eli, though, has said that he's retired and wanted to retire a giant, never wants to wear another uniform. Okay.

Speaker 1 And also, it wouldn't play where he wasn't starting right away, like the bona fide starter. These are all just sideshows.
Yeah, the separate thing was. Eli Manning was eating a pork chop.
Got it.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was a pork chop.

Speaker 1 Interesting. I don't think they have a pork chop on that menu.
At Orioles? Yeah. Well, that was the other person.
Interesting. Leroy never reported that Orioles was the restaurant.
Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 So he could have had a pork chop anywhere. Anywhere.
Anywhere. Got it.
But so you're saying that the report that he was at that restaurant now is incorrect?

Speaker 1 The report that he was at a restaurant is correct. Right.
Now with Chicago, with the Bears. I never said in Chicago.
Okay, with the Bears. Got it.

Speaker 1 So when that report came out, how tight did your butthole pucker? I actually went from, this is ridiculous, to,

Speaker 1 you know what? It would be fun. It would be fun.
Yeah. That's all we have to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The last thing that we want is a boring team.
Yeah. Eli Manning would give us something to talk about.

Speaker 1 We would, I mean, Eli Manning would quickly, you know, there is no, the old saying goes, there's no one more popular than the backup Bears and backup quarterback in Chicago.

Speaker 1 So Eli Manning would immediately be the most popular guy in town. Oh, you don't think he'd start?

Speaker 1 No, I think he'd have to earn it. I think he would start as QB2.
Would you be committed to Mitch? Mitch is our quarterback. Rex is our quarterback.
That Arch. Round and round we go.

Speaker 1 That Arch would call him, Archie Manning would call in a favor since he's the shadow commissioner. I want Arch.
Would be like, start my boy. I want Arch Manning.
Maybe that's what they're doing.

Speaker 1 He's just waiting for his nephew in like six years. Right.
What if this is like a Knicks type deal where they're getting the person who's connected to the free agent that they want?

Speaker 1 So they're just bringing Eli on to be a part of the front office. And then, lo and behold, six years from now, they pull an Eli Manning and on draft day, demand to be traded to the Bears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe it's like LeBron wants to play with Bronnie. And Eli, his dream, his entire life, is to play with his nephew.
There you go. That's definitely possible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could actually see that being real. Like, I want want to play with Arch.
One year, Eli Manning had an incredible turkey bowl where he threw for like seven touchdowns all to Arch.

Speaker 1 And he's like, one day, one day, buddy, me and you getting back together in the big leagues. This is just dawning on me right now.
How big of a fucking suck up is Cooper Manning naming his son Arch?

Speaker 1 Like, we get it, dude. You didn't make it to the NFL.
You don't have to suck up to your dad by naming your son Arch. That's just one of Cooper's classic gags.
Yeah, oh, it's so funny. Arch.

Speaker 1 All right, so one last thing about the media trade. How much does it suck to be Joe Tessator and Booger right now? Yeah, I feel bad for Booger.

Speaker 1 I feel bad for Booger. He's had a rough go of it the last couple of weeks.
Both of them. A couple months, really.
Everyone talking about your job. They're just like, hey, we want this dream team.

Speaker 1 Our dream team booth is out there.

Speaker 1 And if we don't get it,

Speaker 1 we'll just do this again. Listen, Booger's been taking out his frustrations on that Peloton recently.
He's been posting his scores and tagging me in all of them.

Speaker 1 And he's putting up numbers that Lance Armstrong could not put up in his prime. Booger's finishing in like 11th place out of 5,000 people in a Peloton class.
He's a beast.

Speaker 1 Just like dominating just out of pure rage because everyone won't stop talking about his job. Maybe he needs to tweet those numbers so that he can start.
ESPN's like, wow. He is.
Oh, he is.

Speaker 1 Peyton's not on the Peloton. He is tweeting those numbers.
Is Payton's neck okay? Can Peyton look side to side? I don't think Peyton could get on a Peloton to save his life.

Speaker 1 Is there a steroid test at ESPN?

Speaker 1 For spouses? Definitely not.

Speaker 1 The only other thing in this media trade that I loved is the idea. Johnny Bucci Gross is definitely on the juice.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 The idea that Phil Rivers is also being talked about because Phil Rivers, I can't believe we've never even thought of this, but is there not a more perfect guy?

Speaker 1 You don't have to worry about him ever swearing. He's likable.
He's got the southern twang.

Speaker 1 He'll be animated. Phil Rivers needs to be in a booth.
Get a bolo tie up there. Fuck yeah.
I would really, really enjoy that.

Speaker 1 Just having a southern accent in the booth is always comforting for some reason. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Like if I hear Marty Smith just commentating something, he's like, my daddy taught me when I was a little boy. He said, Marty, I automatically stop on that channel because I'm like, this is so folksy.

Speaker 1 I got to hear the story that he's telling to Nick Sabin on his boat for the one year that, or one week a year, that Saban takes a little bit of time off. What's the guy's name? Well, Wright.

Speaker 1 Wright Thompson. Wright Thompson.
He used, I mean, they use him for every single SEC game ever. And every time I hear his voice, I'm like, holy shit, this guy, like, we're ready to go.
It's fall.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's get a little southern accent going up in that boot. Maybe just have Wright.

Speaker 1 Bogger is a southern accent. Yeah, he's got a

Speaker 1 shit. We're doing the ESPN thing.
We're basically ESPN execs. Like, we need a southern accent.
Listen, we need a

Speaker 1 southern accent. We played in the NFL and a quarterback.
A Super Bowl winner with a southern accent. No, because Tony Romo had never won a Super Bowl.
No, I know, but Biggie did. We got to capture

Speaker 1 some of that magic. The blueprint's out there, big cat.
We need

Speaker 1 a quarterback that played in the last 15 years that never won a Super Bowl. It might have a little bit of a Southern.
Oh, shit. There you go.
Phillip Rivers.

Speaker 1 We need an Italian guy with an easy to pronounce name where his last name starts with a T. Mike Torico.
Oh, yeah. All right.
Perfect. We don't have that.
That sucks for them.

Speaker 1 I do feel bad for them.

Speaker 1 All right. We got to get to Firefest, but before we do that, barstowgold.com slash PMT.
We also have to do Tom Brady update. Yes.
Tom Brady update.

Speaker 1 So the update is there was a phone call and it didn't go well. What that means, no one knows.
Maybe bad reception. Maybe it's like, hey, can you hear me? Like, it cut out.

Speaker 1 Bill and Tom talking, chopping it up. Bill and Tom's excellent adventures.

Speaker 5 It also depends who you ask. Some say it didn't, quote unquote, go well.
Other people say it was just Belichick was all business.

Speaker 1 Interesting. But no business was conducted.

Speaker 1 Right, but he was.

Speaker 1 All business would be good if they actually talked turkey. Right.
And had an understanding.

Speaker 5 My question is, what would you expect Bill Belichick after 20 years of being your coach, what would you expect him to say?

Speaker 5 Would you expect him to get on the phone and be like, hey, Tom, we love you so much, man? We really, really want you back. If we don't get you back, I don't know what we're going to do.

Speaker 5 That's not Belichick.

Speaker 1 Hey, Tom, I was thinking about you, and I'm getting there. Hey, Tom, think about me switching back and forth between me calling the plays and Steve calling the plays.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 So I think that Belichick was probably like, hey, Tom.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 5 It's never going to get done in one phone call.

Speaker 1 He was probably like, Tom, listen,

Speaker 1 you know where all the bodies are buried. You know all the cheating stuff that we've done.
I just want to make sure that it's cool. If you go somewhere, like, we're cool, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, hey, dude, you're not going to say anything. I won't say anything.
I know about when you smash your cell phone and you gave it to me.

Speaker 1 So we just want to make sure that, like, who's got that last call? It's all good, right? Like, hey,

Speaker 1 if you go somewhere else, like, we're not...

Speaker 1 We agree, like, we're not going to talk about each other, right?

Speaker 1 It's the after-bachelor party email that we talk about where Bill is just like, hey, this goes without saying, but everything that happened in Foxborough stays in Foxborough.

Speaker 1 If you are that guy, if you are that guy who on the Monday after a bachelor party, emails the entire group and says, Hey, guys, just want to make sure that everything that happened this weekend, we're not going to talk about when the wedding comes around.

Speaker 1 You're a douchebag, and it makes me want to talk about it more. Because, guess what? Oh, you are going to talk about it more.

Speaker 1 Why don't you just trust the fact that we went on a bachelor party together? You don't have to be that guy. You made it awkward for everyone.
Now we make you pay.

Speaker 1 Do you think that Bill actually gets down into brass tacks and talks about numbers? Do you think he's like, Tom, we're thinking two years,

Speaker 1 $17 million a year? What do you say? $17 million a year.

Speaker 5 Not on the first phone call.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you got to do a little bit of warm him up. Yeah, yeah.
A little foreplay. Like, you've been looking really young.
Did you do anything with your face? No. I've been scowling.

Speaker 1 No, I was talking about Bilichek saying that's Brady. Tom, you look great.
Have you been eating extra less strawberries?

Speaker 1 You'll admit that he's got plastic surgery, right?

Speaker 1 Is Botox plastic surgery? No, no, Botox is just injecting microorganisms. I'm on the record.

Speaker 5 No, I don't think it's gone under the needle.

Speaker 1 I'm on the record that if I were that rich, I would absolutely get plastic surgery, so I'm not judging. It's just an awkward.

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 Erlacher, when he got his hair, he did a video right away. If he had just shown up with hair, like when Witten showed up with hair, we were all like, what's going on here, dude?

Speaker 1 You can't just show up with hair one day and expect us to act normal. Like, you can't do plastic surgery and everyone be like, yeah, it's cool.

Speaker 1 I think that, uh, I think if you make a certain amount of money, you'd be an idiot not to get Botox after you turn 40.

Speaker 1 Hey, dude, if I was as rich as Tom Brady, I'd be lipo, both Botox, fucking ass implant, calf implant, bicep implant.

Speaker 5 One person, this is kind of random, but I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 Brain implant. Yeah, he's saying they just read and they go to the gym.

Speaker 1 John Cena. Shut up.
I'd look strong. I know all these words.
That's the whole point of being rich is you can take shortcuts on life.

Speaker 5 John Cena has been scaring me lately with his

Speaker 1 big time. It's fucking weird.
Big time. I think what happens.
Every time I see him, I got freaked out.

Speaker 1 I think what happens is when people decide to go down the road of plastic surgery, like one plastic surgery can be okay. But then they get one and they're like, wait, this looks kind of weird.

Speaker 1 Let me get another one to fix the weirdness of the first one. And then you end up being Wayne Newton.
Or Cheryl Davids.

Speaker 1 My favorite person in the entire world was that guy on the real life or true life. I need calf implants.
Do you remember him?

Speaker 1 He was like a bodybuilder and he was like, I've got the total package here, but my calves just suck. And to his credit,

Speaker 1 he had some shitty, shitty calves.

Speaker 1 That's what they based that character off. That's what that storyline for Johnny Drama was based off this shithead on true life.
And he seriously just had like string bean calves.

Speaker 1 And so he got this, like these calf implants and then had to spend like three weeks crawling around his house because he couldn't use his legs to walk. Love it.
It's awesome television.

Speaker 1 Whatever it takes to look good. Okay, before we get to our interviews, we have Kevin Bacon and then Doug Marone.
Should we do a quick fire fest? Sure. All right.
Hank, why don't you start?

Speaker 5 I have multiple actually this week.

Speaker 1 Whoa, why don't you save one for later when you don't have one, when your life is so awesome? Well, they're all kind of relevant to this week. I just had a festival heavy week.
Okay.

Speaker 5 My first one is

Speaker 5 not related to me, but the Nick guy, the tightroper.

Speaker 1 Actual fire. Actual Fire Fest.
Nick Walenda. Mock Willenda.
The Walendas.

Speaker 5 That was my Fire Fest is tuning in to watch him potentially die in a fire, and I found out that he was on a harness, so even if he fell,

Speaker 5 he wasn't going to die.

Speaker 5 So it was a completely pointless TV viewing experience.

Speaker 1 Always is. Always is.
Fuck the Willendas.

Speaker 1 He was tightrope walking over a fire? Over a volcano. Yes.

Speaker 1 Listen, the Walendas.

Speaker 1 But if he fell, it's like, oh, shit, guy walking over a volcano.

Speaker 5 That'd be awesome.

Speaker 1 If he fell, that'd be electric TV.

Speaker 5 Then you tune in, and it's like, if he falls, he's fine.

Speaker 1 I hate the Willendas so much. You end up just watching a dude talk on his walkie-talkie to his wife about God for 30 minutes while no, there's no even like

Speaker 1 proximity to death. He doesn't wobble ever.
I'll tell you what, Walendas, if you hired me as a PR consultant, I'd fix it with two seconds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a whole family. They're flying Walendas.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's the PR fix. One of you has to die.

Speaker 1 On TV. On live TV.
Their dad died. I know, but it's been too long.
Yeah, on TV rope and 40. I need a pay-per-view death on TV.
I think what's going on with them is

Speaker 1 he usually goes without a net, without any sort of harness. They have like Joel Osteen at the end, like just smiling his big fake teeth, and he like never wobbles.
He always goes perfectly straight.

Speaker 1 Because the rope is so thick. He has a big thick ass rope.
This one, the volcano, I think they were worried that if you fall into a volcano, you automatically go to hell, which I think is true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is true. I think that's true.
And they're big God guys. So that's probably why they brought the harness out for this one.
Fuck the Willendas. Disavow the Willendas.

Speaker 1 We are an anti-Welenda podcast. Unless they want to come on and let me say that to their face, then they're more than welcome to come on.

Speaker 5 My second one was that I said Bethany.

Speaker 1 I'll slip them poison. I'm not happy with the Willinda's head.
Marko'd Sting.

Speaker 5 Bethany, if you're Sting's wife, it's actually Edge's wife. I don't think I've ever gotten more tweets, so I just want to say I'm sorry for that.
That was a mistake by me.

Speaker 1 Apology not accepted. Sting versus Edge.

Speaker 5 It's like one, I mean, yeah, I don't know. I really don't know how I fucked it up either.
But my third one is that Kendrick Perkins has been ghosting me. Oh, that's tough.

Speaker 5 One of my favorite Celtics players of all time. I said something on the part of my Twitter about getting him on, and he was like, set it up, let's make it happen.
I DM'd him.

Speaker 5 I was like, yo, huge fan, like, would love to get you on. Here's our studio address, blah, blah, blah.
He's like, All right, I'm in New York next week, let's make it happen.

Speaker 5 And then I'm on, like, probably five or six or seven

Speaker 5 blue messages.

Speaker 1 And the worst part is Kendrick Perkins is forever online. So he's

Speaker 1 probably 300 times.

Speaker 5 And I like, I'm getting to the point where I'm like, I kind of want to just be like, dude, I like it. Who do you think?

Speaker 1 You're on your phone. You're on your phone.
Yes. Like, just look.
Can I give you some advice, Hank? Sure. You've come off a little thirsty with your Kendrick Perkins.
I think you have to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's one of those ones where it's like, it's not just regular booking.

Speaker 5 It's like, I actually am a huge book.

Speaker 1 And he can feel that. He can feel that.

Speaker 1 So I feel like you have to go to the other side of the equation and start flirting publicly with someone you know that he hates, which is pretty much everyone else, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone that he hasn't played with in the NBA. Which isn't a lot of people.
Right. So find somebody that he doesn't like and then start going after them.
Let him see that.

Speaker 1 And then he'll be like, oh, yeah, these guys, I got to get there first.

Speaker 1 Either that or we'll just put like a big-ass fake spread of food, like delicious-looking food on our table and just take a picture at that and send it, send it to him.

Speaker 1 He'll be like, Yeah, I'll be there. Just tweet, do a quote board and be like, We had Ray Allen on the podcast and be like, Ray Allen says Kendrick Perkins is a pussy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he'll definitely get upset about that.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 And then he'll never come on the air to discuss. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got a Fire Fest, PFT? I do. My Fire Fest is I'm going to the Caps game tonight.
Okay. I'm going to Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 1 Gonna try to use that employee entrance that they leave open for celebrities.

Speaker 1 And I am doing Sober October until Friday night, and it's a Thursday night right now. Tough.
And so I don't know what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 Like going to a hockey game and not having a cold beer in your hand is going to feel weird. You could just have a beer.
I could have a beer, but I'm doing Sober October through January. February.

Speaker 1 March.

Speaker 5 I feel like technically, though, you probably still have alcohol in your stream from this weekend.

Speaker 1 Because you might as well start. You might as well.

Speaker 5 So you can drink tonight and then start next Monday.

Speaker 1 Right. So it'll probably actually, if I drink a little bit more, it'll probably push the rest of the alcohol out of my system.
Right. So I'll be totally clean by Monday.
Yes, there you go.

Speaker 1 Fire Fest fixed. There we go.
Rare that we fixed a Fire Fest. I've lost like 1.2 pounds this week.
Huge. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It took a big shit away. I feel really healthy.
I stopped being on a bender. So

Speaker 1 that did it for me. I hopped on the Peloton.
All right. My Fire Fest is

Speaker 1 the new Twitter Stories, but not because I care. Or actually, it is because I don't care.
Twitter Stories is coming coming out.

Speaker 1 They've debuted it, and this is the first time Twitter's made a change where I just am like, whatever. And I think that that apathy is going to kill me.
It means that you're getting old, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I usually a good Twitter change would get the blood boiling.

Speaker 1 Like when they change to 260 or 80 characters or whatever, when they change the stars to the hearts, when they changed quote tweets and all that stuff, there's a million things they've changed that I've gotten so angry about.

Speaker 1 This happened, and I was like, Stanley who cares Oh, you remember when they changed the the avatar from a square to a circle? Yeah, that pissed me off right, but I don't care not mad about the story.

Speaker 1 So what's because you've been using stories already just on a different platform, but I just don't care. It's by the way

Speaker 1 This tells me that Twitter is absolutely losing a step if it took them like three and a half four years to copy a feature on another platform You got to do that shit within like six months instantly and be like oh parallel mind Yeah, Facebook's like oh we were coming out with stories too right after Snapchat did oh shit you beat us to it, but we've been planning it for years yeah

Speaker 1 fuck so yeah i don't care anymore it's bad it's bad that's the first step of just dying yeah so you stop caring about little things that change on twitter they said that there's gonna be a small difference in how their stories are being used as opposed to instagram don't care you don't even care what that functionality might be well i'm sure it would be 12 seconds instead of 15.

Speaker 1 let me get you interested in twitter again you ready for this yeah what if they made a super like

Speaker 5 a super like button what would it do i don't know you could only use it once a week it's also doing doing the thing where I think they haven't done it yet, but they're going to roll it out where you can say things that only are

Speaker 1 temporarily there. Cyberdust.

Speaker 5 Yes, on Twitter, though.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 That's the same thing as a story, though. Interesting.

Speaker 5 No, but it's like a tweet. I don't know.
It's different than a story.

Speaker 1 No, I think they were saying

Speaker 1 they're temporarily there because they only last for 24 hours. And then they delete and then it deletes? Something like that.

Speaker 5 I believe it's separate. Yeah, I believe it's separate than stories, but I could be wrong.

Speaker 1 Got it. Well, either way, I don't care.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our interviews. We have Kevin Bacon, Doug Marone.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's get to Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. He is acclaimed actor and now podcaster, Kevin Bacon.
So let's start with that. Let's start with the podcast.
You are encroaching on our turf.

Speaker 1 You have a new podcast, The Last Degree of Kevin Bacon, on Spotify. I'm going to give you a pass, though, because everyone in the world has a podcast now, but you're doing it a little differently.

Speaker 1 So can you explain how it is different than everyone like us, idiots, getting in front of a microphone?

Speaker 6 I didn't even realize that it was such a thing. thing

Speaker 6 that everyone well i had this feeling that everyone has it but there's also this like really like kind of protective world somebody said to me something along the lines of like, listen, if you're going to get out there with a podcast, you better fucking start listening to some podcasts.

Speaker 6 And I was, but still, it was like a whole, you know, kind of like world. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You know, I could never do an interview show because it would have to be about the person being interviewed.

Speaker 6 And I'm much too self-centered to spend a lot of time

Speaker 6 asking somebody else things about themselves.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Plus, I'm a lousy.

Speaker 6 I'm just not a good interviewer. I would never be able to do that.
Nor would I ever put myself in a position of trying to share tidbits of wisdom because I don't really have any. And so

Speaker 6 it's not like

Speaker 6 it's never really been interesting to me.

Speaker 6 Like, for instance, people have said to me,

Speaker 6 Have you ever thought about writing a book? Like, the last thing in the world that I would want to do is write a book about my life. It's just not interesting.

Speaker 6 However, making fun of myself, making fun of Hollywood and celebrity, and this weird kind of like meta life that I live, and the whole six degrees thing is something that I've done in the past in comedic ways, and that I really, really like.

Speaker 6 I've, you know, played myself a number of times. And what happened was

Speaker 6 I had done this film. I've done a few little things for Funnier Die.

Speaker 6 And the last one I did was called A Duck Walks In on a Couple Having Sex.

Speaker 6 And it was a short film about me directing my first film. and I'm playing myself, playing a very heightened version of myself, you know,

Speaker 6 basically, you know, just

Speaker 6 an asshole.

Speaker 1 Now you say it's a heightened version of you, but I feel like that's the opposite of you. I feel like you're,

Speaker 1 in terms of Hollywood actors, people who have been in the business forever, you're

Speaker 1 a normal guy who seems to have a grounded view of life.

Speaker 6 I think that's true, but I also think that if you're famous, life is weird. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So you did say just now that being famous is weird. Does it still feel weird, even though you've been famous for so long now? I mean, it's decades and decades.
It still feels weird.

Speaker 6 Well, in a way, it actually feels more,

Speaker 6 I think, what would feel weird nowadays would be not being famous. I think, did I tell you the story before?

Speaker 1 I can't remember, but go ahead and tell you again.

Speaker 6 No, there was a story a few years ago,

Speaker 6 I wanted to see what

Speaker 6 it would be like not to be recognizable. Because, you know, it's funny because people say,

Speaker 6 let me tell you something. If you come to our town, no one's going to know you.
No one's going to bother you. You know, and it's just, it's just not true.

Speaker 6 I mean, I got, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's nothing that I,

Speaker 6 it's 99% good.

Speaker 1 Okay. Right.

Speaker 6 People all day long say, I love you, or you're awesome, or, you know, whatever. I love that.
I know, I, I, I never take it for granted.

Speaker 6 And I think that if you complain too much about being famous, then you really don't deserve to be famous anymore. You know, you work your whole at, you work your whole life to try to get this.

Speaker 6 So, to get it and then, you know, bitch about it, it just doesn't make any sense, you know.

Speaker 6 But there's times when you just think, God, it would just be so interesting just to walk through the world and just kind of

Speaker 6 see the world without having the world constantly be looking back at you. And so, I had a special effects makeup artist build me

Speaker 6 a disguise, and

Speaker 6 he applied it.

Speaker 6 And I decided to go out. And I went out

Speaker 6 to, I don't know if you're familiar with the grove

Speaker 6 in Hollywood.

Speaker 6 It's a big outdoor mall, basically. Crowded, you know, and tons of people and shopping and the whole thing.
And I walked through the grove and nobody recognized me.

Speaker 1 And all of a sudden I went, wow, this sucks.

Speaker 6 I mean, everyone's just treating me. like a normal person.

Speaker 1 You have to wait for a table. You have to wait for a table.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like I gotta, no one's being nice to me for no reason at all you know what i mean and you just yeah you've thought that the world is like a really nice friendly place for the last 30 years it's a little bit different sometimes when they don't have a reason to automatically be nice to you right right that's funny i i i don't remember that story so that's i mean that's a good thing to do every now and then i would assume to like reset and be like hey you know what's nice is being a little famous have a little fame i it's nothing i take for granted honestly and and i don't uh

Speaker 6 like i said i you know

Speaker 6 there's two kinds of actors: actors that want to be famous and liars.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's a good, that's a good quote. You said it 99% of the time, it's nice.
I don't, I have never met somebody that has said, like, I hate Kevin Bacon. Like, I hate, he sucks.
I hate Kevin.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have. You have?

Speaker 1 There are actively Kevin Bacon haters up there. What was their issue?

Speaker 6 There was a guy came up to me.

Speaker 6 This has happened multiple times,

Speaker 6 but years ago, I came up to,

Speaker 6 I was in a small town in

Speaker 6 North Carolina. I was shooting a movie, and

Speaker 6 we go out with the crew. The town I was actually shooting in was a dry town.
So we had to go over to this other town to go out. So we go to the bar, it was a local bar,

Speaker 6 you know, kind of, you know, basically kind of a redneck bar. And we're sitting there, and this guy comes to my table, and his name was Tiny.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 to say

Speaker 6 that this fucking guy was huge is like the understatement. I mean, I know people will say that I'm building him up to be bigger than he is but he was huge and my friend eric was with me who's about

Speaker 6 i think he's about six three

Speaker 6 and the guy comes over to me eric and i are sitting he had come eric had come down to visit me we're sitting there we're having a beer and the guy comes over and he goes hey are you kevin bacon and i said yeah he goes i hate kevin bacon

Speaker 1 i want to kill him and i said Okay.

Speaker 6 And I thought he was kidding. Yeah.
And he was not kidding. What?

Speaker 1 Did he say a role that you played?

Speaker 6 No, no, no. He just, he just, he was just a drunk kid that wanted to fight me out.

Speaker 1 I feel like he loved Jack Nicholson's character from a few cameras. He's like, you shouldn't have arrested him.
He

Speaker 1 hated you. You try to protect you.
Yeah, he hated you in Animal House. Like, oh, you were one of the douchebags.
Like, I don't.

Speaker 6 But it was one of those crazy times when I just stood up

Speaker 6 and I said, yeah, it's me.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 do something about it.

Speaker 6 I don't know why you want to.

Speaker 6 I'm not sure why you want to do this, but. and he pulled back his fist and it was like a fucking cauliflower.

Speaker 6 Jesus Christ. And I stood there and there was another guy, a little skinny guy,

Speaker 6 who was standing behind me with a pool cue in his hand, like behind me.

Speaker 1 He's like, hit him, Tiny, hit him, hit him. You know, this is a true story.
Holy fuck.

Speaker 6 And for some reason, we just kind of stood there and looked at each other for a while. And some girl in the bar came over and said, Tiny, you leave him alone.

Speaker 1 What did he ever do to you?

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 he just backed down.

Speaker 1 I'm so curious why he hates you. I'm also a little bit disappointed in Tiny because it sounds like he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life.
Like, he hates Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 And what are the odds that Kevin Bacon walks into his watering hole in Boone, North Carolina, or whatever it is, and he's got his one opportunity, and then he pussies out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said every day he went to the same bar and he's like, if Kevin Bacon ever walks in this bar, I'm going to knock him out. And then, boom,

Speaker 1 he was a complete coward about it. It didn't happen.
I really want to know what role or what you did to make him that mad.

Speaker 6 I'd love to tell you that I think it was a role.

Speaker 1 Like, what's the one role you'd think that someone would have watched that and been like, fuck that guy?

Speaker 6 I don't know. Maybe.

Speaker 1 Actually, Diner, you were kind of a jerk.

Speaker 6 I don't know. I don't know.
I've been jerked plenty of times.

Speaker 6 I'm not sure. Do you?

Speaker 1 The Woodsman? Yeah, the Woodsman. I would kick the Woodsman's ass, yeah.

Speaker 1 I read when I was doing a little research here that you've played the role Jack, the name Jack, like something like six different times.

Speaker 6 Somebody told me that, yeah, apparently it's a lot of Jacks.

Speaker 1 Do you think you get typecast as a Jesuit? Jack's playing Jackie right now.

Speaker 6 The character's name is Jackie. Here you go.
Yeah, that might be B7, yeah.

Speaker 1 So do you think you get typecast as a Jack? Because you do kind of look like a Jack that I say it.

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know. And you've played a Jock, too.

Speaker 6 I've played a Jacques.

Speaker 1 So six kind of

Speaker 1 five Jacks, a Jackie, and a Jacques?

Speaker 1 Let's see. He's Friday the 13th, Quicksilver, Few Good Men, Apollo 13, My Dog Skip, Frost Nixon, and Super, you played Jacques.

Speaker 6 That's seven. Okay, so Jackie owned City on the Hill, so that's that's neat.
Yeah, that's, I know, it's very weird.

Speaker 1 That is weird. It's very weird.

Speaker 1 Jack Bacon.

Speaker 6 I bet you that there's

Speaker 6 very few other names that I've even doubled up on. You know what it probably speaks to is like

Speaker 6 it probably speaks to like writers liking the sound of that name for some reason.

Speaker 1 There's also kind of like an everyman look to you. Like, hey, that's, you know, that's Jack.

Speaker 1 I wonder if, yeah, if we were to take a look at the amount of scripts produced in Hollywood right now, what percentage of like the leading males or the co-starring males would have the name Jack?

Speaker 1 Because it's kind of like at one time, it's a strong-ish name, but it's also like a non-threatening name. You tend to like a Jack.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 How long do you think you're going to act for? Forever?

Speaker 6 Just forever and ever? Yeah, I mean, I would stop acting if

Speaker 1 you were an Oscar and you did like the John Elway, like

Speaker 6 I'm going off on the No, well, that's the great thing about being an actor as opposed to, you know,

Speaker 6 playing sports. I mean,

Speaker 6 I can keep acting and just start playing older guys, you know, and then eventually you start to play the guys that drool, and then you're wearing a diaper.

Speaker 1 And then Martin Scorsese makes you younger again in some really bad effects, and then you restart the whole thing.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's going to, that's good. I think that's already being used, even

Speaker 6 not even as a flashback in time, just as

Speaker 6 a, you know, like a makeup technique.

Speaker 1 Really? Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 You can go and actually bank yourself.

Speaker 6 Like if I was 25 now, I would bank myself, bank the information, and then

Speaker 6 they can rent that back.

Speaker 1 Just say a bunch of lines you're saying?

Speaker 6 No, just scan your face.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it's like free. Yeah, just

Speaker 6 get all the stuff. But they can actually do it, I think, now from going back over movies.

Speaker 6 So, right, you can, I don't know if you ever saw, there's actually a really cool way that they did this technique.

Speaker 6 It's a scene, someone did it with a scene in The Shining where they put Jim Carrey's face onto Nicholson, and they just scanned a whole bunch of Jim Carrey movies.

Speaker 1 It's a deep fake. Yeah, they could deep fake Kevin Bacon.
You could have Jax forever.

Speaker 1 What Kevin Bacon would you want? Like, what year?

Speaker 6 Was your hottest? What was my hottest year?

Speaker 1 I know you were the sexiest man alive or one of the sexiest men alive in 1995.

Speaker 6 I've never been even in consideration.

Speaker 1 No, you were. I don't think so.
1995, yeah. Really? Yeah.
And And then it's like the old, like, when you see, like, I want to see the

Speaker 6 research.

Speaker 1 Was it People magazine or was it just like some guy Kevin Bacon declared himself? Sexiest actor. Kevin Bacon said that Jackie.
Jack alive. Yeah.
Well, you've played a lot of Jacks.

Speaker 1 Have you ever gotten the call to play Jack Ryan, the Tom Clancy guy? No. That sucks.
So you played like every Jack except for the most famous Jacks.

Speaker 6 That's right. That's true.

Speaker 1 Sexiest actor alive in 1995.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 6 I don't know. I just don't since then.
I just don't remember that.

Speaker 1 It's like when a baby, when you're like, you used to be a cute baby, you were a cute baby. Bring back the 90s.

Speaker 6 That's why I love that.

Speaker 1 All right, so 1995 seems like the time.

Speaker 1 That would be

Speaker 1 good. Look at Glam Mag.
That would be the best. Two years in a row.
You had a dynasty. You're so humble.
God damn it.

Speaker 6 Honestly.

Speaker 1 That's a bad haircut. No, I like the bangs.
The bangs. You see the bangs? You hate that? You pretty much have the race back.
The constant, I just got out of the shower. Yeah.
Like, oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I didn't try to set this up. This is cool.
I got to talk to you about Wild Things because, I mean, great movie. Watched it several dozen times growing up.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you watch all your movies that you put out, but I have to assume that that one was one where you're like, got to make another trip to Blockbuster and rent Wild Things just for the triple kiss scene.

Speaker 6 I don't, you know, I don't.

Speaker 6 I watch them. I watch them.

Speaker 6 As much as I can. I watch dailies and I like to watch cuts and early cuts and then I like to see it with an audience, and then I pretty much put it to bed.

Speaker 6 I don't think I've seen Wild Things since it came out.

Speaker 1 You haven't seen Wild Things?

Speaker 6 I mean, I've seen it, I saw it like probably three, three, four times.

Speaker 1 It's pre-porn.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's actually a funny thing back in the in the in the going back to the podcast.

Speaker 6 Terry Gross is on is a guest, and she's when you first meet Kevin Bacon, he's being interviewed by Terry Gross, and she goes, Kevin, um,

Speaker 6 we want to, I want to talk to you about

Speaker 6 one of my favorite movies, Wild Things.

Speaker 6 It's really funny. Do this Terry Gross interview all about Wild Things.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Did you guys say, You showed your genitals in Wild Things? We have a clip.

Speaker 1 Is there one role that you played where you think back and you're like, I nailed it? Like, that's the one.

Speaker 1 That's the one where I, if you, if someone walked up to you and said, Kevin Bacon, I want, I've never seen any of you or your movies. Give me one movie to watch where you're in it.
What would you say?

Speaker 6 I'd say maybe

Speaker 6 Murder in the First. Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah, maybe that. JFK, Mystic River.

Speaker 1 Air Up There? Not the Air. Damn.
Fuck. Air Up There was great.
Mystic River was awesome. Mystic River was awesome.
He was a big fan of it. The Air Up There was awesome.

Speaker 1 I remember seeing that and being like, this is cool. Like, there's, we'll probably go find awesome centers everywhere.

Speaker 6 Bob McAdoo was our technical advisor.

Speaker 6 And Bob once said that one of the hardest things he ever had to do in his career was make me look like a basketball player. That's a direct quote.

Speaker 1 Okay. So it's like the, have you ever heard stories about white man can't jump? Like Wesley Snipes never played basketball before that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they had to kind of like make it look like he knew how to play basketball. So you knew how to kind of play basketball?

Speaker 6 I went, you know, I got with,

Speaker 1 he's a big college coach,

Speaker 1 Steve.

Speaker 1 Steve Fisher?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 1 Was it Steve Lavin? Steve Lavin. Oh, there it is.
Yeah, he's not a coach anymore, but he was. He was at St.
John's. He's all all over the place.

Speaker 6 Right, St. John's.
That's right.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 6 And so Steve was, I was hanging out with Steve because

Speaker 6 I tend to do research-y kind of stuff. It wasn't even so much on basketball skills, although he was

Speaker 6 also kind of helped me a little bit with that.

Speaker 6 But then McAdoo came on.

Speaker 6 Bob

Speaker 6 actually went to Africa with us and was there to kind of choreograph all of all the basketball

Speaker 6 in the show.

Speaker 1 Well, I love that movie.

Speaker 1 But that's also like we're now naming movies that we saw when we were like 12. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you know if it would hold up? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'll watch it and I'll decide if it held up or not.

Speaker 1 I'm guessing it might not. The last time I saw it was when I saw it and it was like, I was like 10 years old and I was like, this is the coolest movie ever.
So good job. Thank you.

Speaker 1 When you go on a podcast like this or when you do an interview, do you have stories that you save up?

Speaker 1 Like, is there one person where you're like, man, if I ever go on the Jimmy Kimmel show, I have to have a good anecdote ready to go. So I'm going to write this one down so I don't forget it.

Speaker 6 I have a thing on my phone. We call it panel.

Speaker 6 And we try to keep a list of things because everybody on, you know, on nighttime talk shows,

Speaker 6 you know,

Speaker 6 there's a formula which is they

Speaker 6 it's it's short and they want funny anecdotes. That's kind of what they want.
So, but I forget shit, you know Can you can you give us us one on your panel?

Speaker 1 Can you give us one? Here, do this. I want the Jimmy Fallon.

Speaker 1 Start telling us a panel story, but then deviate from the truth, and we'll try to stop you when you're starting to lie. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is going to be fun. Welcome back to the Jimmy Fallon Show.
Shout out Quest Love.

Speaker 1 We did a funny little kazoo bit where we played a popular song using child's and cracked. We cracked an egg over each other's head.
All right. Pretty goofy stuff.
We're sitting down with Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 6 I got this dog. My dog is like super, super prey-driven, you know,

Speaker 6 really, really just loves to hunt. And

Speaker 6 I'm not a hunter. And the other day, she comes back

Speaker 6 from being out, you know, around the back of the house. And

Speaker 6 she's got something in her mouth. And I come outside, and she's going, she's got this possum in her mouth.
And it's like, shake, shake, shake.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, drop it, drop it, drop it.

Speaker 6 She drops the possum, and the possum is there and laying there. And And I'm like, oh, shit, the dog.
Oh, sorry, Jimmy. I can't say shit.
You're going to have to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll edit that out. Oops.

Speaker 1 Good job.

Speaker 1 Did that story happen?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's not over yet. Yeah, yeah, it's not over.
Possum's dead. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it would be kind of a bummer if that's what's the end of the story.

Speaker 6 I think it would make for exciting nighttime television.

Speaker 1 That's why you don't get quite a lot of letters coming in. Your dogs and Joey Porter's.

Speaker 6 I have a feeling that there will already be letters coming in, even just based on this much of it. But what happened was I thought, well, now I got to clean this up.

Speaker 6 So I go to the barn and I get a shovel and a bag to come back, and the possum is gone,

Speaker 6 disappeared. And when I tell you that that possum looked dead, that possum looked dead.
And I go into the house and Google playing possum.

Speaker 6 And I find out that the truth is that they actually

Speaker 6 do play possum. But what I learned was that

Speaker 6 they do it involuntarily. Okay.

Speaker 6 So basically what happens is if they have a shock and

Speaker 6 some kind of quick trauma, they have something inside their body that makes them basically pass out and seem like they're dead. And it's a survival instinct.
And

Speaker 6 what a hilarious story, huh? Wow. No wonder I haven't used it on anybody.

Speaker 1 All right, so can I critique it real quick? All right, so here's what you should do. So you do the possum, you go inside, you come back out, and the possum is alive, and it killed your dog.

Speaker 6 Ah, there you go. That's a funny story.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, wait, is that true? It's like, just kidding.

Speaker 6 Playing possum. Watch the laughs come tumbling.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Yeah, you could even say they was attacking your dog, and then you came out and you defended your dog. Yeah.
And you kicked the possum, and it flew like 30 yards.

Speaker 1 And that's when you knew that you were going to join the MLS team, the Red Bulls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it right there. That's a new movie.
Well, fortunately,

Speaker 1 David Beckham was in your house because you movie stars hang out together. And so David saw the possum.
He did get tattoos together.

Speaker 1 Yeah, ran out, kicked it, and the possum flew away using his kick power. I think this all works.
Great. I mean, we are kind of writers, so.

Speaker 6 You can, you know,

Speaker 6 there is, with these stories, I think there's always tweakage that goes on, you know, plus the fact that people,

Speaker 6 people tend to, you know, embellish over time. Right.

Speaker 1 Right. I mean, we've got the bones of a good story there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We've got a possible workshop. Dog attack.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 I'm thinking I might take that off of the list.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Probably take that one off the list.
All right. I had a couple final questions for you.

Speaker 1 The SeatGeek question, promo code take. Put it in.
You get $10 off. Promo code take.

Speaker 1 So we're with Kevin Bacon. He's got a new podcast on Spotify.
I know this comes up in interviews, but I'm always fascinated because you never hear about it in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 You and your wife have been married for, what, 35, 40 years now?

Speaker 6 30

Speaker 1 years. You want to get introduction.
Well, 30-ish.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you ever go to parties and see some people that you

Speaker 1 were friends with and they're on their fourth wife or they're on their fourth husband and you're like, well, that's kind of weird. Like, here we are.

Speaker 1 I don't know if

Speaker 6 you're friends with them.

Speaker 1 You're a true anomaly, though. Wouldn't you say in the Hollywood area?

Speaker 6 I'd say in Hollywood, it's like a Hollywood platinum.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 But nobody has ever convinced me that marriages have a shorter shelf life in Hollywood than they do anywhere else. Let's face it, marriage just doesn't work.
Most people don't stay married.

Speaker 6 They just don't. I mean, that's, you know, you, but I don't know that I haven't seen the statistics that indicate that it's any worse for celebrities.
It's just that we hear about celebrities.

Speaker 1 Well, and also you have like the outliers like Kardashian and what's his name, Chris Humphreys. They got married for like 11 days.
That kind of of screws up the whole average there.

Speaker 6 The bell curve.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. It fucks everything up for everyone.
But you're on the other side. You're trying to anchor it down.
Just keep going.

Speaker 6 We're just having a good time together.

Speaker 6 I have no explanation for it.

Speaker 1 Okay, let me then ask a follow-up question: Is it weird that people bring it up in interviews? Because now I feel weird.

Speaker 6 No, you should not feel weird. Everybody brings it up in interviews.
Damn.

Speaker 6 You know, but what everybody's looking for is something that I've decided that I can't really give, which is a quote, you know, or advice. Or an advice, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, you know, we used to both use, we used to both say, keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. And then, you know, people were like, aha, that's funny.
But really, seriously, how do you do it?

Speaker 6 You know, and then so I stopped even doing that.

Speaker 6 You know, I kind of feel like

Speaker 6 to try to

Speaker 6 put it in words, first off, it's not going to apply to you or anybody else. You know, it's only because of us.
And whenever I see any of these quotes, she's my best friend.

Speaker 6 You know, oh, she just, we make each other laugh.

Speaker 6 I just want to puke on my shoes. I mean,

Speaker 6 I don't, I can't really, I can't go there.

Speaker 1 So we need to make up a new story. When you say, like, keep the fights clean and the sex dirty, be like, every time we're going to fight, we actually dress up in tuxedos.

Speaker 1 And by the time we put them on, we're like, what are we even fighting about? There it is. We're laughing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me write that down. Yes, that's a pretty good one.
And then

Speaker 1 leave it. I dress up like her, and she dresses up like me, and then we fight from the other person's perspective, and it allows us to see maybe what my partner was being upset about.
There you go.

Speaker 1 It's actually not a bad story. Yeah,

Speaker 1 if this comes up in every interview, you should just use this to make up whatever story you want because people will believe it.

Speaker 6 That's true.

Speaker 1 But then you're going to get like a sound bite or a quote that's taken out of context from this interview that you're trying to bullshit this weird answer to.

Speaker 1 And then your wife's going to see and be like, hey, what the hell was that about?

Speaker 1 I was just joking with them. They were idiots.
They didn't know any better.

Speaker 6 There's really no good. What I've found is there's really no good way to answer this.

Speaker 6 Either it looks like saccharine and sweet, or it looks like you're being judgmental of other people and the way that they run their lives, or it's just stupid.

Speaker 1 Or just do the anti-comedy, and anytime brings anyone brings it up, you're like, actually, we just got divorced. Yeah, that's it.
I'm just coming from the signing of the papers.

Speaker 6 That's one thing I do say. I usually say, well, I gave it six months.

Speaker 1 All right, I got one last, last question, then we'll let you go. I heard a rumor that you pay wedding DJs 20 bucks not to play any songs from Footloose.
Is that true?

Speaker 6 I have done that. I have done that in the past.

Speaker 6 That has happened, yes.

Speaker 1 Why do you do that?

Speaker 6 I don't do it on a regular basis because I don't go to that many weddings.

Speaker 6 I don't go to weddings for this very reason.

Speaker 1 That's why you've got to do that. Because they're going to play Footlight.
That's why you've never gotten divorced and remarried.

Speaker 1 Because you don't want them to play Footloose.

Speaker 6 Let me explain to you what the thinking behind that is.

Speaker 6 In your wedding, that is the one day, maybe, that you're ever going to have in your life where you are the stars, where the bride and the groom are the

Speaker 6 biggest names on the call sheet, as we like to say.

Speaker 6 They've got top billing. Then there's a supporting cast of the bridesmaids and the grooms and the parents on both sides.
And way down at the bottom is me,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 6 And so when you get to a wedding I don't want to become the focus of attention but what happens is everyone's really cool at the beginning for like the ceremony because the alcohol has not come out but in the course of the evening as people start to drink and get looser and looser

Speaker 6 if the move if they put on that song everyone will form a circle around me clapping their hands and wanting me to come out and start, you know, dancing around like a trained monkey.

Speaker 6 And I just don't want to do it because it takes the focus away from the bride and groom. That's how I feel.

Speaker 6 I honestly feel like it's not,

Speaker 6 this should not be a night about me.

Speaker 1 Some people are saying you can't do the Foot Loose.

Speaker 1 Well, there's that too. That's what people have been saying.
That's what I heard. Yeah, there's that too.

Speaker 1 That's a very nice sentiment, but it also gives you a good opportunity to go up to a wedding DJ at the store and be like, hey, just so you know, I'm Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 I know you're probably thinking about playing Foot Loose later on tonight, but here's 20 bucks. bucks.
Maybe you just keep that, you know, you keep that one on the back of the CD rack tonight.

Speaker 6 Yeah, which I've done. And then there's also the risk that the guy goes, thanks for the 20.
I have no idea who you are.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or he says, I'm actually going to play it 10 times now because you should have paid me $100.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Or he says,

Speaker 6 what's Footloose?

Speaker 1 Right. We're getting to that age.
Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Kevin Bacon, thank you so much.
Do we get any extra credit for not bringing up six degrees of

Speaker 1 yes. So that's, I don't know how.

Speaker 6 Of course, the podcast is called The Last Degree of Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 True, but we didn't try to play the game with you. No, you didn't.
So we get credit for that.

Speaker 6 You do get credit. I got to tell you, you definitely get credit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so go listen to Last Degree of Kevin Bacon on Spotify. Please, also, you're about to do another interview.
Okay. Don't do the tiny story because that was a great story.
All right.

Speaker 1 Let's keep that exclusive. Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I won't do tiny story.

Speaker 1 Go to your panel and your phone for

Speaker 1 you. Do the possum story again.
That one, you can cut it. We're okay with you cutting the possum story for you.

Speaker 6 this tiny story is a pretty exclusive story especially since I just made it up here okay thanks I got guys that was fun

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Now, Doug Marone.

Speaker 1 Doug Maroney. Marone.

Speaker 1 Oof, Marone.

Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests. He's been on the show.
This is your fourth time, third time, fourth time? Doug, yeah. Oh, is that your phone? Yep.

Speaker 1 I got to shut my phone off. No, no, you're fine.
You have an alarm going off. I got alarms going off.
Wait, that's your watch going off. 3:45 in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 That's not football guy-like of you to have a watch that makes this a garment watch because I'm trying to lose weight. How many steps? What do you got today? I got like all these calories.

Speaker 1 How many steps you got today? I got, hold on. I got 4,200, not to brag.
I got

Speaker 1 280. Oh, my God.
That's not very many. What are you even doing? That's not very many.
I've been around all day.

Speaker 1 I've been in meetings all day. Yes, okay.
All right, so let's start with,

Speaker 1 this is a fascinating interview because you're like Nikki Six. Remember when Nikki Six, Motley Crew, died and came back to life? Exactly.
You were a little bit of a fire. You're a big Motley Crew guy.

Speaker 1 You know, they're on stadium tours. Yeah, you're coming to our place.
You were fired, and then you came back to life. So what is it like?

Speaker 1 What did it look like on the other side? Did you see God?

Speaker 1 You know, I don't know if you ever really

Speaker 1 have that type of

Speaker 1 thought process when you're going into it Because, you know, people are talking about like, yep, hey, this is a reality. Look, this is the job we chose.
And I've got to focus on here.

Speaker 1 This is my responsibility. This is what I have to do.

Speaker 1 So, you know, the worst thing I think you can do in coaching is that when you start hearing stuff on the outside, it distracts you from what you're supposed to be doing. And then, you know what?

Speaker 1 What kind of leader are you? And then you let people, you know, you're letting people down that are relying on you.

Speaker 1 So, you know, for me, as that gets, as chatter starts, the way I approach it is, you know, I have to be stronger. I have to be better.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Because I'm not one of those guys that, you know, that you can't, I don't know how some people, you know, you get up there and you go like, I just block it all out and I don't read it and I don't hear it.

Speaker 1 You're crazy. You hear it.
You know what I'm saying? You're going to hear it when you get up in front of the media.

Speaker 1 You're going to hear it, you know, if you leave the building, if you have to go to the store to get something, you're going to hear that stuff.

Speaker 1 So, you know, rather than try to, you know, block it out, you listen to it and there's a reason for it.

Speaker 1 I mean, when you're not winning games and you're not performing well and we're in a performance-based business. Of course, people are going to do it.
Now,

Speaker 1 what you sit down with, and you have to have, hey, listen, when you sit down at the end of the year, or sometimes you have that opportunity, sometimes you don't.

Speaker 1 I was fortunate enough to have an opportunity to sit down and say, hey, listen, this is what I believe we have to do. This is the direction we need to take.

Speaker 1 These are the things that we're going to do differently. And I feel like this is going to make us a better football team.
Okay, so we should go to this debate, PFT.

Speaker 1 Remember when we had this debate about Doug Marone, you were sitting with your owner fighting for your job. Did you cry a little?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I thought you would be like, I'm crying for my guys in a good way.
Like, I love my guys so much. No, you're not

Speaker 1 passionate. You get into all these things like, you know, hey, it's easy for the players to do this, and they're still playing hard.
I mean, I don't, I'm not. I'm not from that.

Speaker 1 You know, I think that everyone has a job to do, and you should be able to do your job. And, you know, if your focus is going to be taken away and all this stuff, you go.

Speaker 1 And, you know, at the end of the day, it's a decision that I'm not involved in.

Speaker 1 I'm not the one that can control it, you know, but I can say, hey, this is what I believe. This is what I can do.

Speaker 1 And if you don't believe that I'm the right person, you know, for you, then, and you got to make, you know, a move, I understand it. I'm not one of those people, you know, that, you know,

Speaker 1 I know that if I don't win games, you know, eventually all of us, if all of us don't win games, it doesn't matter who you are, you're not going to be around for a long period of time.

Speaker 1 And I never want people to ever say, gosh, that's an awful business. I feel bad.
Well, it's a business that we've all chosen. Right.
You know, so, hey, bring it on. Whatever happens, happens.

Speaker 1 I'm ready for the challenge, and I'm glad that I have another opportunity. I like that.
That was like the reverse of what we were speculating. You go in and you're just like, yeah, fire me.

Speaker 1 Like, if you want to fire me, then that's on you. You can fire me.
And so you're kind of almost putting them in a position where they're like, no, no, Doug, stick around.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean, I think

Speaker 1 they listen. I mean, they might have a vision for how they want the team, or they won't have a vision for what changes are going to be made.

Speaker 1 You don't know that, that, you know, and you don't try to find out what that is because

Speaker 1 you've got to say what's in your heart and what you believe because that's what you're going to do.

Speaker 1 A lot of times, the worst thing, you know, it's like kind of when you interview a coach and he tells you, oh, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, and then you hire him, and then all of a sudden you're on the field and he's not that.

Speaker 1 Same with a player, but you have more research on a player. That's the worst thing you can do.
I tell people all the time, a lot of times when you interview for jobs, you know,

Speaker 1 you need to tell them what you believe. Don't tell them what you think they want to hear.
If you tell them what they want to hear and they hire you and then you start working and it's not what it is,

Speaker 1 you're not going to be successful and it's not fair to the players or the coaches that you're with. So, you know, explain what you have and believe it.

Speaker 1 And if that's the direction that, you know, ownership wants to go with, then you are the perfect person for the job. If it's not, then you know what?

Speaker 1 You do need to move on because you're not going to be successful anyway.

Speaker 1 You're going to spend the entire rest of your tenure there chasing that interview, chasing what you told them in that interview if you're not like forthright with them. Yeah, Absolutely.
Totally.

Speaker 1 So it was it kind of, I don't want to say blessing in disguise, but yeah, maybe a little bit of a blessing in disguise that those reports came out that it was, you know, you're going to be done after this year.

Speaker 1 You get to kind of rally the troops that week and you've got, you know, a little bit more like pep in your step. You're like, I'm going to show everybody, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Was there any of that going in the last week?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's, you know, when you, when

Speaker 1 there are things that...

Speaker 1 motivate there is motivation. I'm not going to sit here and go,

Speaker 1 like I said before, it's not like you don't listen to it and you're like,

Speaker 1 Here's my relationship with Shad.

Speaker 1 I know that if he was going to do something like that,

Speaker 1 he is a really great man. And I'm talking about just a good human being.

Speaker 1 He doesn't do business like that.

Speaker 1 So in my mind, I'm thinking, he hasn't said anything, so there's no decision made. I had no issue with that.

Speaker 1 But now there's speculation out there and it's getting, there's momentum building. Okay.
Hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
I'm, I'm going to, there is, I am a chip on the shoulder, you know, going against the world. Woe's me.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm going to use all that motivation to get better, but that's me internally. I can't do that to the players and the coaches.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, for them, I'm just like, hey, listen, this is how this business is. Right now, it's me.
Sooner or later, it may be you. It may be you, maybe you, maybe you.

Speaker 1 I want you to watch how I handle this situation.

Speaker 1 So when it happens to anyone in this room, whether you're a declining player or a player that's that's not playing well, it's going to happen somewhere along the line of all of us.

Speaker 1 Let me be able to show you at least how you should handle it by my example. And that's what I told the team.
I like that. Okay, so how long did that meeting last?

Speaker 1 I imagine that you locked the door and you're like,

Speaker 1 I'm not letting you out till we figured this out. And then you cried and then you're like, I love this.

Speaker 1 I cry a moment. But a good book.
A good cry. This is a good cry because when a football guy cries because he loves his players so much, that's like the pinnacle of football guy cry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's, it's,

Speaker 1 I just think it's, it's just a presentation. Okay, hey, listen, what are your plans? What are you going to do? Lay it out on the table.
I mean, I think there's so many, it's amazing when you're,

Speaker 1 I guess for me, and I guess it's sometimes how I look at your guys' lives. Like, I'm like, holy cow, they must have an unbelievable life.
But you guys grind and work, you know? We cry.

Speaker 1 I don't see that. Yeah.
I'm about to cry right now because I love my guys. I love bubbles.
We're going to have like a

Speaker 1 core. Yeah, like a check.

Speaker 1 Can we hug real quick? Yeah, come on.

Speaker 1 All right, fine. I'll give you a hug.

Speaker 1 That report was wrong, guys. Dead wrong.
Love you guys. I just wanted to get this.
You're still here.

Speaker 1 I'm not fucking going anywhere. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
All right. Now moving on to this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got that out of the way. Yeah, by the time this interview is over, we'll have incepted you into thinking that you're going to be.
You cry. You're like, yeah, I cried a lot.
All right.

Speaker 1 So, all right. So let's get to the important stuff.
Yes.

Speaker 1 How much do you hate the Houston Astros? Oh, don't.

Speaker 1 Now, Doug, if you don't know, Coach Marone is a diehard. I'm a loser, right? So

Speaker 1 this happens in Houston, right? And I know that my Yankees got robbed. And there's probably a lot of other teams that got robbed, right? I mean, it's out there.
I mean, it just kills it.

Speaker 1 There's moments in the games, obviously, that I go back to and think about, you know, the home run, the win-it, you know, the series with CC pitching, you know, I mean, and

Speaker 1 it's bad. But then I go to,

Speaker 1 okay,

Speaker 1 you know, none of the players, obviously, were punished, but a lot of the managers were. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying, you know, anyone that has part of it or has to accept responsibility for it should accept consequences. I don't care what sport it is or what you're doing.

Speaker 1 But I still go back to the Pete Rose.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? I know it's, was he wrong? Yes. But how's he not,

Speaker 1 you know what I'm saying, in the Hall of Fame? Right.

Speaker 1 And then what happens? Are there asterisks to it? Is it a steroid error?

Speaker 1 with his asterisks to those people i mean you know uh i mean stanton said he would hit 80 home runs you know if he knew what what what pitch was coming i believe him he'd have to stay healthy i don't know if you saw he's already

Speaker 1 today like literally an hour ago yeah really yeah so he might not play opening day he's also just so severe about striking out the season

Speaker 1 out for the year right i mean stanton i don't know if you ever gave him your pinstripes but that guy got to win championship to get pinstripes you win a championship

Speaker 1 Doesn't Aaron Judge have his pinstripes? Yeah. But he didn't win a championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's.

Speaker 1 There you go. All right.
All right.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that.

Speaker 1 He had big, yeah, big moments. Brett Gardner, pinstripes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No question. So you have to win, in your mind, you have to win a World Series unless you're just really, really good.
No,

Speaker 1 unless you're the.

Speaker 1 I'm saying it because I know he's going to win a championship. And you know what? For the question you asked before, he should have won a championship.

Speaker 1 And he should have watched. So where did that come in now? Where did that come in? Hold on that thing.
Stolen pinstripes. That's really the stolen pinstripes.
Right. That's what the Astros are.

Speaker 1 Not only did you steal signals, you stole pinstripes.

Speaker 1 Altuve got MVP when it should have been Judge.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's Astro. There's another one.
He's got double pinstripes. Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of things that people have to, you know, they've lost focus on

Speaker 1 things that we've lost. Yeah, absolutely.
What about Garrett Cole? I think he should get his pinstripes right away because of that picture of him, and I think it was the 2001 World Series.

Speaker 1 He's a huge Yankee fan. Yankee fan his whole life.
Always wanted to be a Yankee. Yeah, they were from upstate New York.
He's a stud. Moved to California.
He's a stud.

Speaker 1 I think he gets his pinstripes like right now. What do you think? I mean, he hasn't played a game.
I know, but he's a Yankee fan his whole life. Well, I understand it.

Speaker 1 So am I, and I don't have my pinstripes. Oh, you got your pinstripes.
Yeah, you got

Speaker 1 your fancies, right? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The difference between me, I always tell people, I was a born Yankee fan.

Speaker 1 My grandfather worked there and I shared for 25 years. He came out of the womb with pinstripes as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, well, I appreciate that. Oh, by the way,

Speaker 1 I have a bunch of jerseys from the Pinstripe Bowl. Yes.

Speaker 1 That's a big reason for you. Did you win a Pinstripe Bowl? Two.
Winning is Pinstripe Bowl coach.

Speaker 1 I don't know about that. I have two wins.
I don't know who's won two. Paul Chris might have two.
I know Wisconsin. Did you win a two? I think.

Speaker 1 Not in Yankee Stadium. I think we won back-to-back pinstripes.
Kind of a dynasty. Really? Yeah.
Well, you know what? If I had to share it with someone, I love that guy. You guys are very good.

Speaker 1 He and I drink beer together. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
We used to go to the owner's meeting, not the owner's meeting, excuse me, the conference meeting. Yep.
You know, and he was at that pit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was at Syracuse. And then we just kind of gravitated towards each other.
And like, what are you doing? I don't know. You want to get a beer? All right, let's go get a beer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you probably were like, and then we were like in a corner drinking, you know, drinking beer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, just watching everyone, like, oh, you know, because the basketball coaches and everyone are like, oh, that's so-and-so. Yeah.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 He and I were just. Yeah, you were probably like, no one really gives a crap about us.
Yeah, Paul, I really like your gray sweatshirt. How about a great Where'd you get that?

Speaker 1 He's a great job in Wisconsin. Yes, he is.
He's awesome. Yes, he is.

Speaker 1 That's great to see when you have, hey, there's a good guy. He's from there.
He's from there, but he's a good guy, and he's doing a good job, and that's what's awesome.

Speaker 1 I want to get into Minshew Mania real quick. You literally,

Speaker 1 where's your mustache?

Speaker 1 Well, I can't grow one. I can't grow one either.
Okay, mustache bros. I can't grow a mustache, but I still love Gardner Minshew.

Speaker 1 When he was playing, when he got in that first game and you saw the Moxie, were you like, did you get excited too?

Speaker 1 Because I was watching it and I think I said, he makes me want to like shoot a flamethrower at a hornet's nest.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's how I think, I think when he got in there, I'm more of like, okay, wait a minute, this has got to be luck. You know, I mean, that's the truth.
Right.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm like, this guy, he didn't even take any snaps this week, and Nick, you know, unfortunately gets hurt the 10th, 11th play of the game. You know, he goes in there.

Speaker 1 Now, he hasn't taken a snap with the game plan.

Speaker 1 He, I would say he didn't perform that well in the preseason, you you know, for whatever reason, but he just didn't perform that well.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden he gets out there and all of a sudden you're like,

Speaker 1 where is this? Okay, you know, so you're like, you're excited at the moment. Then afterwards, when you reflect and look at it, you're like, all right, is this just like a

Speaker 1 one-time deal or what's going on? And then, you know, we go and play Houston. And then,

Speaker 1 you know, when there's ups and downs in the beginning of the game, but then all of a sudden,

Speaker 1 the last two drives, he leads us on scoring drives and almost

Speaker 1 comes back and wins the game for us. And then, you know, then he hit a pretty good run.
Then he hit some things of what you would normally see out of a young quarterback.

Speaker 1 So, you know, we feel fortunate that we've got, you know, two quarterbacks and Josh Dobbs. You know, we'll have competition at that position.

Speaker 1 But the one thing I'll say, and you guys can feel this too, is that just

Speaker 1 the people of Jacksonville, it's just, it's like almost like a cult figure. He's a good culture fit.

Speaker 1 You came out of the womb with pinstripes on. He came out with Jorts.

Speaker 1 A little baby wearing tiny little Ashikash pagas.

Speaker 1 yeah i'm from the bronx i mean yeah it's not like i i put i had a suit on and then i came out with pinstripes you know what i'm saying yeah i i could never afford not not afford but you know i was always in this you know playing in the you know we didn't have a lot of grass in the bronze so every sport we played was on like concrete whether it be football or whatever it was so i always had rips and everything so i was a big uh you know big sweatpants guy oh yes um do you miss blake at all I do yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could tell you do. Yeah, I mean, no, I really do.

Speaker 1 I miss all the players, like, when you have a player that you have a good relationship with and you have a ton of respect for, and it's a business decision or it's a performance or whatever it may be.

Speaker 1 Business decisions. You know, yeah, and that, and that player leaves, you know, that you do, like, truly miss those guys, you know, being around.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's the ones that, you know, show up later, a pain in the ass, and things like that. And you're like, you can't wait for them to get out the door.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 You don't miss them at all.

Speaker 1 Blake was a guy that did everything that we asked, tried hard, took,

Speaker 1 he held his head up high, took bullets that he probably shouldn't have taken, you know, for others. And

Speaker 1 I'll always respect that. I really will.
He's a good person. Oh, he's a great person.
He's one of our favorite people, one of our favorite athletes that we have on the show.

Speaker 1 I think he misses Jacksonville, too, to be perfectly honest with you. Yeah, yeah.
I think it's a great fit for him if you guys ever want.

Speaker 1 I know you have, I think Shad said that you have an embarrassment of riches at quarterback right now. But if you want to see Josh Dobbs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, any more embarrassment of riches, I think Blake would be a good person. Oh, yeah, we can get him coming back and we can get him in the pool with you guys.
I'll make

Speaker 1 the sickest I'm coming home video you've ever seen. Oh my god, yeah, just saying, I like it.
Yeah, that's gonna be I got chills right now thinking about it. He's Hollywood now, though.

Speaker 1 He's got a Tesla, yeah, he does have a Tesla. He can't, he can't do that.
Yeah, he can't. Well, maybe he's more green.
I mean, maybe he's becoming the environment now, which is good.

Speaker 1 He did it because he was trying to quit dipping. So if he

Speaker 1 bought an electric car, so he didn't go to the gas station, so he wouldn't buy dip at the gas station. So now he has someone else go to the gas station.
Right. But it was a smart thought.

Speaker 1 Now he just parsed it.

Speaker 1 It was a

Speaker 1 good try. Yeah, don't bring like the sweets into the house and you won't eat them.
That's like the same with me. I try quitting all the time.
Then all of a sudden the stress comes and it comes in.

Speaker 1 Now that's what I say as

Speaker 1 maybe an excuse, but.

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Speaker 1 I'll ship it again in a t-shirt. Can I get a yes? I have one in my bag over there.
Good. We're open them up.

Speaker 1 There it is. I love it.
There you go. We've had you on us several times, but we haven't talked to you about Shakespeare yet.
You're a big Shakespeare guy. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are. You're being modest.
No, no.

Speaker 1 When I was in high school, you know, like all of us, you know, we had it, you know, you had English literature and you had a Shakespeare, and my English teacher was my drama teacher.

Speaker 1 So everyone had to pick a soliloquy to do.

Speaker 1 You know, so I picked Othello, you know, and then I wound up doing it.

Speaker 1 And then,

Speaker 1 but I enjoy that play. I don't enjoy all Shakespeare, so, but Othello, I really enjoyed

Speaker 1 for many reasons. And what happened was, so

Speaker 1 I was obviously,

Speaker 1 I did something in the class, and then the drama teacher said, you know, because I need to get eligible for college. So I need an A in my English lit.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I had drama. And she's like, hey, if you come out to the play,

Speaker 1 you know, maybe I'll get you, you know, you'll be able to earn an A. Yep.
You know, and I'm like, okay, my, back then we didn't have a clearinghouse, but I'm thinking, okay, my GPA will be this.

Speaker 1 I'd only need this on a test court. You know, I mean, I'm going, that's legit, serious.
So, you know, I went up there and I did that. And the first play I was in, I played Vince Fontaine in Greece.

Speaker 1 I was the first play. Did some dancing and things like that.
Did you sing?

Speaker 1 Not in the first one. Now, in the second one, I went out for the lead and I played Stephen Douglas in Damn Yankees.

Speaker 1 So I had the lead where I had a sing and I had a, you know, it was more singing, that one, not as much dancing, but it was tough because they had to to rewrite the music for my

Speaker 1 vocals. And a lot of the people that were in that drama club wound up doing stuff on Broadway, off-Broadway.
We had the girl that was with us, a little bit younger than me.

Speaker 1 She was the lead in Tina and Tony's wedding. You know what I'm saying? That was on Broadway or off-Broadway.
So we had a, it was pretty big.

Speaker 1 We'd get about 1,500 people a night, you know, that would come to it. And, you know, so that's how it started.
So what happened was she was such a good influence for me.

Speaker 1 My English teacher, Phyllis Preston, she lives in Connecticut.

Speaker 1 So when,

Speaker 1 you know, every now and then I would call her because I want to, I'm always one of those guys like, you know, I am where I am today because of a lot of the people that were in my lives, my life when I was younger.

Speaker 1 You know, my teachers, my coaches, people that, you know, kept me from making poor decisions, even though I made some poor decisions. So what happens?

Speaker 1 I'd call her up and she's like, hey, how's it going? And I'd always, I'd throw the soliloquy out at her, and then she would cry.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 And she's like, I can't believe you remember that and all that. And I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'm never going to forget it.
You know, because you want to do a good job and you practice it.

Speaker 1 But I think, so people have asked me stuff like that, and I've wound up repeating some of it. And then everyone thinks I'm this, you know,

Speaker 1 big thesbian, which I probably, I might be. I don't know.
Maybe it's undercover. No judgment.
Wait, so do a little. Do you have a line or two?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Touch me not so near.
Yet I persuade myself to speak the truth. I'd rather this tongue cut from my throat than do offense to Michael Casio.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yeah, it could stick up for your guy, Michael Casio. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 stand-up guy. So it sounds like your high school life was the plot of glee.
I've never seen the show, but I'm not sure. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 My high school right now is like the second, has the second worst graduation rate, right? They almost shut it down.

Speaker 1 That's a good way to say that. I was like the first school that probably had a metal detector

Speaker 1 back in the 70s.

Speaker 1 It was one way in, one way out. The doors had guards.
They had two Roman patrols. I mean, it was, you know, that's where I was fortunate.

Speaker 1 We had a security guard and football coaches that let us in the back that kept us out of a lot of trouble. And I mean, you would just keep your head down.

Speaker 1 I think the claim to fame from my high school is obviously I went there. Bobby Benilla was older than me.
And now Cardi B went to my high school.

Speaker 1 Nice. Do you know Cardi? No, but I'm dying to meet her because we have something in common.
We went to the same high school.

Speaker 1 Be very funny together.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. Have you guys met her? No.
No, it's my bucket list, really. Yeah, but but she went to Lehman.

Speaker 1 She's got to be cool. She's got to be cool.
It's like Jennifer Lopez was from Castle Hill.

Speaker 1 She went to Preston. Yeah, Preston is on the East Bronx where I'm from.
So that's like right down the road.

Speaker 1 So if you go to the Wikipedia page for your high school, it's like Doug Marone, Bobby Bonilla, Cardi B. That is.
Does it? I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 You don't even need a fourth in that. All you got to do is like, I don't know if I don't want to, you know, you don't want me.

Speaker 1 I don't want to say notable.

Speaker 1 First of all, we had a plaque in our gym. It said like distinguished graduates.
It was blank.

Speaker 1 When I was there, when I was going to stop there, some of the struggles you look up to and go, I wonder if I'll ever be on that plaque. That's a great, you should use that for the Jaguars next year.

Speaker 1 You should be like,

Speaker 1 you know, captains, blank. Earn it.
Or, you know, notable performances, blank. Earn it.
Or just like 2020 captains, and it's just a mirror. So when the players walk by, they see themselves in there.

Speaker 1 Like, that could be me.

Speaker 1 Seriously, that isn't.

Speaker 1 I'm not bullshitting you. That's a good thought.
Yeah, you're saying it. But now, there's so many people that hear this.
If I do it, could I just put courtesy of you on it? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm only licensing this idea to the Jaguars. Yes, who do they got? Who else we got? And it's only $20,000 a year.

Speaker 1 Who are they? Okay, notable alumni. Bobby Benilla, Doug Marone, TJ Rivera, my friend Deesus Nice, Cardi B, Monet Exchange, I think that's Money Exchange,

Speaker 1 Larry Lawton, the jewel thief.

Speaker 1 Larry and I grew up together. You knew Larry Lawton, the jewel thief? No, no, no.
We grew up together.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about

Speaker 1 We were friends growing up. No way.

Speaker 1 You ever like to go to the bathroom? Yeah, he calls me because he called me up a while ago and wanted to come and speak to the team. You know, he's all tatted up from prison.
I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Can you tell Fughesi? Well, excuse me? Could you tell Fugesi?

Speaker 1 Fugesi? That watch was Donny Roscoe. Yeah.
I watched it the other day. Yeah, could you tell a Fugesi with Larry the Jewel Thief? No.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I always say the guys I grew up with, I grew up with, you know,

Speaker 1 Michael Kaye is good friends with. We all grew up together.
Larry grew up together. Larry's sister, sister, I mean, family was awesome.
I never saw it coming.

Speaker 1 But then I read his book because I had to read the book, you know. And then it's true.
I mean, that's how it started.

Speaker 1 It started out with the little betting sheets, you know, that he'd get and divvy out. We all did it.
You know, you pick all the teams. You'd give them five bucks and see.

Speaker 1 But, you know, then he went into the Coast Guard. And then we kind of, then I went to college and I kind of lost touch with everyone.
Yeah. So is it true?

Speaker 1 Because I remember it was at the start of the season, got into a little sideline dust-up with Jalen Ramsey, and our mutual friend Diana Rossini tweeted out that you could beat him up because you're from the Bronx and her family knows your family.

Speaker 1 Is it true that any family from the Bronx could beat up anybody? Because that's how we've been. Including professional athletes.
Yeah, we've been operating.

Speaker 1 Growing up, the thing was, you know, like I grew up like a lot of kids. You know, like, you know, as a little kid, I got beat up and I went home crying, crying again.

Speaker 1 Right. I went home crying.
Both my parents worked to my grandmother there. And I said, oh, that kid's picking on me.
He beat me up.

Speaker 1 My grandmother just turned me around and said, you're going back out there and fighting him.

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go.
And I went out, got my ass kicked again. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 But it teaches you that, you know, you're never going to give up or that toughness. But, you know, obviously we don't, you know, I think we're in a different day and age.

Speaker 1 We don't, we don't want to promote any type of violence. Right.
In the locker room, on the field, or whatever we do. But

Speaker 1 we may not win, but. We definitely know enough people that can hit you.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your grandmother was like Don King, just setting up fights.

Speaker 1 The neighborhood promoter, yeah, you two get ass.

Speaker 1 There you go, like you have a great fight for everyone.

Speaker 1 I always say, I say, you know, being from the Bronx is something that, hey, you know, if something ever happens and something gets kicked out on a technicality and court or something, hey, you probably know enough people that take care of it, boy.

Speaker 1 Yep. All right.
I got one last question. Seek eat question, promo code take.
Put it in. You get $10 off.
Go to the Jags game next year. Go to the game in London.
You got two games in London.

Speaker 1 We're at the Combine. What is your favorite question question to ask guys when you get to sit with them? Or what is maybe going to be? For me, it's who's been,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 before college,

Speaker 1 who influenced you in football? And I think it's important. So for me, I want to know whether it's been either from family or other people or, you know,

Speaker 1 what was the origin of how this player got involved with football.

Speaker 1 I want to know the genesis of how it all started for him.

Speaker 1 I think for me, because it helps me later on that, you know, if it's a relationship with a coach or something from the family, it's something for me to fall back on

Speaker 1 when

Speaker 1 you start doubting

Speaker 1 whether,

Speaker 1 you know, or it's starting to become too much of a business. I try to remind them of the origin of why they started it and how they love.
So I try to use that throughout my time with that player.

Speaker 1 And I also share,

Speaker 1 not with the player that I ask that question to, but I do share that with the team quite a bit. What if the answer is like, I just wanted to get laid?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think that. I think it's like, I can tell you my story.
I always wanted to play baseball, and I was just too big and fat to be on a bunch of football teams.

Speaker 1 So, and all of a sudden, you get to a point where in high school, you're like, it doesn't matter how fat and big you are, you can play football.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, I just happen to be better in football than I was in baseball. But if I had my choice, I would have played baseball.

Speaker 1 I feel like a lot of people of your size in high school, you hear it from everyone just like, hey, why don't you play football?

Speaker 1 If you're not actually on the football team like literally everybody in your life is like why aren't you a football player like David Baker

Speaker 1 pro football hall of fame president he was big he was too big to play football yeah when he was younger yeah yeah

Speaker 1 a lot of us yeah yeah

Speaker 1 I started playing football to get laid but I was a kicker so it kind of backfired on me

Speaker 1 see the here I could I can tell you this like

Speaker 1 you know when you're a lineman and you're fat it ain't nothing happened to guys like me right you guys are thinking like you know, the quarterback. Right.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 You got to, like, you know, I think, I think, you know, the people now, I think, you know, I think the hockey players got a good role going. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, you look at

Speaker 1 the hockey players. Yeah.
Yeah. Up in like the Syracuse area, upstate New York, if you're the captain of the hockey team, that is like the equivalent of being the quarterback.

Speaker 1 And they're all like regular dudes who Boston College is kind of on D StU. Yeah, hockey players can, even guys in the NHL, they can go to dinner and not be bothered most places.

Speaker 1 I mean, you look at most of the country music stars, right?

Speaker 1 Because they wear the big hats.

Speaker 1 That's true. What do you think? You think you changed now? No.
You think you should have played hockey? No, absolutely not.

Speaker 1 You would have been a hell of a hockey player. I got very bad equilibrium, bad balance.
I'm a clumsy. I can't even walk without falling down.
Really? I can't skate. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was a really good rollerblader. No big deal.
I was a really good rollerblader. Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Like gold member.
Were you part of that? No, you're too young. I was sick at rollerblading.
I wasn't good at ice skating, but I was a really good rollerblader.

Speaker 1 I'd be like seven feet if I had like, you know, roller skate.

Speaker 1 I might get back into blading now. You get that extra like four inches on the bottom of the sack.

Speaker 1 Exactly. You got to be careful.
You don't want people like, you know, Adam Sandler throwing sticks at you when you're

Speaker 1 rollerblading and taking dives. I have one last question, then we'll let you go.

Speaker 1 It is a combine, as Big Cat said, you're doing these interviews. When we sat down with you in Jacksonville, we asked you, how can you tell if there is a presence of grit on the practice field?

Speaker 1 You said that you can hear it in training camp.

Speaker 1 How do you tell if a prospect has grit if you're not able to hear him running into people? Sure, I think that's like one of the questions was like, you know, when you go to these

Speaker 1 all-star games, that's why it's good to be on the field because you can kind of hear that or feel that power.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be able to do that when you're watching film, right? When you're watching these players, when they perform. So what I always look for is, you know, are they finishing the play?

Speaker 1 You know, that echo of the whistle, where, you know, is he smart enough to know when not to draw a penalty? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 And, you know what? If it's a certain type of penalty, I don't hold that against players. I remember, I give you an example, Jarry Evans, who I had in New Orleans, who was a great player.

Speaker 1 He went to Bloomsburg, you know, and one of the things that was so impressive that he finished every single play and he just wanted to put his guy on the ground.

Speaker 1 I mean, and you can see it, and that's what he strived for. Did he do it all the time? No, of course not.

Speaker 1 But that's what he always wanted to do. And that he carried that same type of mentality over into the league and was very successful.

Speaker 1 Those players to me that have that type of mentality, a finished type of mentality that you see that extra effort or that echo to the whistle, I think that that helps carry over into the grit part of the physical part of it.

Speaker 1 Love it. Play the Ian whistle, the echo of the Ian whistle.
The echo of the Ian whistle. All right.
Well, coach, thank you very much for joining us, as always.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm happy that you have your job still. I appreciate it.
Yeah, a lot of people have said that. That's kind of annoying.
Why? I don't know. You're walking around like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm glad that you're back. I wish I wanted to fire that you're back.
I actually started with hashtag FireDoug Moron.

Speaker 1 I know, I mean, I'm glad, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm walking around the other day and I say to myself, I'm like, you know, I'm getting tired of this shit. Well, you were dead.
You were dead.

Speaker 1 That report, you were dead. According to,

Speaker 1 I didn't feel that way. Right.
I'm as alive as ever. Right.
But we're happy. We're very happy.

Speaker 1 We're happy to see you. We're happy to see you.
We're not happy that you still have a job. Yeah.
Wait, hope you want us to be happy that you had a job. Okay, we're crying.

Speaker 1 i hope you get fired soon okay yeah i hope yeah i hope you don't even make it through the next season

Speaker 1 use that as motivation all right feel free to use a mirror idea though that's a good one

Speaker 1 no seriously i do like that idea

Speaker 1 okay let's get some segments first up we have coronavirus update uh it's bad and now it's affecting sports No, it's not bad. It's not bad.
It's not bad. It's a bitch little disease.

Speaker 1 I agree, Hank. We called it out as being a fraud being overrated last week.
I'm not changing that up just because it's

Speaker 1 won a couple out-of-conference games.

Speaker 1 Not in prime time yet. I'm not convinced about this corona thing.
I'll take coronavirus to the face right now.

Speaker 5 I smoked a little weed this weekend and was like reading up on it. I got really scared.
Thought the whole world was going to end. Was a full believer in the coronavirus.

Speaker 5 And then basically, I've been following it the last three days, and the global death toll has just remained the same, more or less.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's nothing. So it's war.
We are now warning viruses. It's WAV is like 0.001.

Speaker 1 We are worried, though, about sports, right?

Speaker 5 There's people saying it's like one of those things where

Speaker 5 the masters, well, the masters are like the, we're having conversations, but conversations they have to get ready for. But there's so much money involved, I would be stunned.

Speaker 1 Well, Leroy is the number one dealer in hysteria.

Speaker 1 Both viruses and Eli Manning lose. Leroy knows what gets clicks, okay? And that's death and Mannings.

Speaker 1 And in this case, every league is taking precautions right now. They're starting to get a lot of money.

Speaker 5 Like, we've had conversations with the colours.

Speaker 5 What will happen to the office if coronavirus happens? That doesn't mean we think it's going to happen, but so they are considering

Speaker 1 the NCAA tournament is definitely considering playing the games in front of no fans and just media members, which would be hilarious. It would ruin it.
Just to have the media and

Speaker 1 straight up ruin it. It'd be much better than having no tournament at all.
Yeah, that's true. But are you reporting? Is Leroy reporting that? He's reporting that it's under consideration.

Speaker 1 Everything is being taken.

Speaker 1 Don't have him report bad news. It bums us out.
Well, he said he takes no pleasure in reporting.

Speaker 1 His tail was not wagging. That's really bad.
That's really bad. It can't happen.
He was whining. He was like,

Speaker 1 that can't happen. Yeah, it's bad.
So it definitely won't happen.

Speaker 1 I'm saying. I'm saying it won't happen.
Okay. But it would be pretty hilarious if there were no fans and just

Speaker 1 that would not be hilarious. That would be terrible.
There should be one fan per team.

Speaker 1 That's not hilarious. That would suck.
It should just be Bill Murray in the audience. Sucks so, so bad.
So, so bad. That can't happen.
Cannot happen.

Speaker 1 There's somebody in the office right now that's sick. I'm not going to name names.
Cannot happen. But somebody's very sick.
You're addicted to Corona. In this office right now.

Speaker 1 You're addicted to Corona, Hank. Hank brought it up.
You brought it up right when you came in today. You're like, hey, you hear about.

Speaker 1 You literally just brought it up. Yeah, you just brought it up.
And then you also came in today, like, hey, here about Nate. He's got Corona.
Yeah. You're addicted to Coronavirus.

Speaker 1 I'd like people to take precautions.

Speaker 1 The glee on your face was not precautionary. Oh, I had no glee on my face.
You were like, yeah, you hear about that? No, I was just making sure that everybody stayed safe.

Speaker 1 And now you're going to cancel the NCAA tournament. I'm not canceling it.
You personally, you just said you wanted to cancel it.

Speaker 1 I'm reporting conversations that already have occurred amongst the NCAA.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 if there's one thing the NCAA hates more than not paying people, it's being able to get sued later on, exposing themselves to legal liability. I I would sue them.

Speaker 1 I'd class action lawsuit the fuck out of them. Why don't we just start saying that we're going to sue the NCAA if they do cancel the tournament? Rob me of enjoyment.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's that absolutely, I will absolutely be in a class action lawsuit. The most dangerous part of the coronavirus is not the illness.

Speaker 1 It's what it's doing to people's brains, making them afraid of the illness and making them do stuff like cancel our best reason to skip work for the entire year. Right, right.

Speaker 1 Okay, so fuck the coronavirus. Although I do respect it.
I don't. Because

Speaker 1 I don't want it to be. You've got to respect it, otherwise it's going to walk all over you.
I don't respect things that don't respect me. Okay.

Speaker 1 We have a spin zone, all-time spin zone, throwback spin zone. Bill Clinton said today, or maybe it was yesterday,

Speaker 1 that he received oral sex in the White House because it was managing his anxiety. Yeah.
Well, he doesn't inhale when he smokes, so he's got to figure out a way to get his rocks off somehow.

Speaker 1 I like that Bill Clinton is like, wait, he like took a, he walked outside you know in 2020 took a look around was like mental mental health is is kind of buzzing right now like guys can talk about this he saw tyson cry and he's like you know what yeah i got sucked off because i was anxious

Speaker 1 listen listen he missed the boat on the whole sex addiction thing yeah but what can you say you can't be like well that's bullshit and be like whoa oh i'm sorry can guys not talk about their feelings now yeah that's true i think that bill clinton just should have come out like 10 years ago and been like i was horny as hell.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Listen, I was a horny guy.
I mean, that goes without saying. You just look at him.
Just be like, this is a horny guy. No excuses.
I was horny.

Speaker 1 He's also getting that weird thing that happens with older people where he's like losing weight, but his head is still the same size. So he looks like a bobblehead now.
Well, he went vegan. Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he's not going to be able to recover from injury as quickly as hell. But he went vegan, lost a lot of weight.
He's got the whole pin jillette thing going on with his body.

Speaker 1 It's so weird when that happens, when it's like their body just goes away. It's like, that's just old age, and you you just got a fucking big head sitting on a tiny neck.

Speaker 1 He looks like the crypt keeper's dick. Yeah, fuck.
You could get it sucked off for the anxiety. We have a choice.

Speaker 1 He also said about Monica, he said, over the years, I've watched her trying to get a normal life back again, but

Speaker 1 you've got to decide how to define normal.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's issuing like a non-apology apology to a woman whose life he ruined. The least you could do, Bill, is be like, hey, Monica Lewinsky, great therapist.
She really helped me with my anxiety.

Speaker 1 Right, I didn't feel anxious for about 30 minutes after Monica and I would have our sessions.

Speaker 1 All right, we have a dramatic reading of LeBron James' caption. So, who do you who which one do you want to take? The LeBron or the LeBron? I can be LeBron.
All right, you be LeBron, I'll be LeBron.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is his caption of him hitting that three-point shot against the Pelicans.

Speaker 1 Me,

Speaker 1 I bet you won't. Me,

Speaker 1 man.

Speaker 1 Who are you talking to?

Speaker 1 Me.

Speaker 1 I'm talking to you. Parentheses.
I bet you won't. In parentheses.
Me, man.

Speaker 1 You must not know me well.

Speaker 1 Scenes.

Speaker 1 So that was what went through LeBron James's head right before he buried that three. He doesn't know himself.
Yeah. He doesn't.
Damn. It sounds like he's schizophrenic.

Speaker 1 Is that a symptom of alcoholism? The kid from Akron, James gang, the man in the arena, washed king, revenge season. He is schizophrenic.
He does have split personalities when he's on offense.

Speaker 1 He tries, and then when he's on defense, he doesn't. I love the internet, too, because the first response is, Curry inspired you to shoot that 400.

Speaker 1 How many times did Dame and Steph Curry do that to you, just saying, what's the celebration about?

Speaker 1 That's fucking great. I do like what happens to LeBron's brain when he sees Zion on the court.
Yes. Like, he gets in playoff mode a little bit.

Speaker 1 He's like, it's young Buck. He's got defense.
He's like, yeah, yeah. Right, right.

Speaker 1 Two big young bucks. All right, let's finish up.
We have FAQs to finish up your Friday conference tournament week next week.

Speaker 1 By the way, little PSA for everyone there this weekend, senior night, senior day everywhere.

Speaker 1 Be wary, be wary of

Speaker 1 the five, ten white kid coming in and just jacking threes when your team's up 15 for point spreads. That actually happened.
Wisconsin did it last night.

Speaker 1 They brought in a dude and he's that's like everybody on Wisconsin's team. Yeah, but he's 1010 white guy.
He was a little bit shorter.

Speaker 1 5'9.5 white guy. They were up 13 and no reason to shoot, and he had a layup, and they covered the spread.
Love it. Wasn't there also a mascot that just passed away?

Speaker 1 No. Bot Laird changed the guards.
Yeah, Blue 3. No, no.
Blue is now Blue 3 or something. BU.

Speaker 1 BU's Real Life 10-year mascot, Rhett, passed away. Unfortunately, we are spoken for in that conference.

Speaker 1 Catamounts. I'm just saying.
Very cool.

Speaker 1 Rhett, R.I.P. No, Catamounts.
Very cool. He had a heart condition.
Catamounts. I think that just means he was old.
Very cool. Catamounts.
Have Stella and Leroy ever met?

Speaker 1 If so, we've answered this before.

Speaker 5 Could she be considered one of his many unnamed sources?

Speaker 1 She does talk a lot. Yeah, I don't think that Stella would share any information with Leroy, though.
Stella is a Stella. Stella looks out for number one.

Speaker 1 Stella is a badass bitch.

Speaker 5 She looks down on the potentially fake news reporting.

Speaker 1 She doesn't like news in general. She makes the news.
What are

Speaker 1 the daddy? So you are a girl dad with Stella. Yeah.
Hashtag girl dad. That's me.

Speaker 5 Cool. What are Stella and Leroy's favorite treats?

Speaker 1 Oh. That's a good question.
Well, I take a peanut butter.

Speaker 1 And then you unzip. And I put it on her nose and she licks it off.
It's very cute. It's cute.
It's cute. It's very cute.

Speaker 1 Leroy likes the corner deli lady because whenever she sees him, she just gives him meat.

Speaker 1 And now she works only one day a week, but every time we walk past that goddamn deli, Leroy just puts it. Oh, yeah, dog.
And I can't make him move. He's too big to drag along.

Speaker 1 Goldfish and Pirates booty. Goldfish for the crunch.

Speaker 5 Sup, guys, especially Wide Dog. PFT, how many dresses did you look at before you found one that fit your figure so well?

Speaker 5 And did anyone end up coming up to you from behind at the wedding thinking you were a girl?

Speaker 1 There were three dresses that were all brought there by the bridesmaid, so I didn't actually go dress shopping. I forgot to do that until the morning of.
So they just gave me the dresses.

Speaker 1 I tried them on, and

Speaker 1 I wanted mostly Dana and Kara to give me the nod of approval because it was their day. Right.
But what I did find with the dress is that I got a lot of attention from the opposite sex. Nice.

Speaker 1 Way more than I normally would. So that's kind of like a life hack right there.

Speaker 1 Is it? Yeah. I mean.
Dressing dresses all the time? No, occasionally. Occasionally.
Once in a while. Yeah.
For fun. When someone dares you to do it.
Right. Dad Cat.

Speaker 5 Out of all the recurring guests, who would you ask to be Small Cat's godparent? Do you think they would actually be willing?

Speaker 1 Oh, Mark Cuban. He's the richest.

Speaker 1 So if anything happens to you, you know,

Speaker 1 little boy's going to be

Speaker 1 Blake Bortles. I feel like he would be.
Jared Goff actually would be a good, would be good, like responsible. Jared's name.
I'm a responsible Blake. You're just naming the richest people that we have.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, there's been a lot of rich people.

Speaker 1 All right, so you want me to name someone Gary Busey? Or yeah, Gary Busey. Nope.
Not Gary Busey. Why not? Absolutely not Gary Busey.
Maybe Bill Walton.

Speaker 1 Just let him fucking become a deadhead. Why not?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 5 I've been wondering, what's the social etiquette with handicapped bathroom stalls? And what situation is or isn't it the fair game?

Speaker 1 I've always lived to the mindset that, like, just go for it if you're going to be quick. If it's not a full bathroom, might as well use it.
Yeah, I don't. It's...

Speaker 1 I mean, if you're just holding up the handicapped bathroom. You can't use a handicap bathroom at a sporting event.
Well,

Speaker 1 there's a difference. The handicapped stall, I feel like, is different than like the ones that are just a solo handicapped bathroom.
Don't ever go in those.

Speaker 1 But if there's a handicap stall in the regular bathroom, that's fair game. Agreed.

Speaker 5 All right, we'll end with this one. What's up, Wide Dog and Mr.
35 years of age?

Speaker 1 Wow. Oh,

Speaker 1 that was a plot twist.

Speaker 5 I'm a 26-year-old man, and I recently discovered my phenomenal ski ball abilities. I found out because I went to my nephew's birthday party at Chuck E.

Speaker 5 Cheese, and I'm officially addicted to the point where I spend my Friday nights doing so. Do you have any advice to knock this bizarre hobby? I need to save money and gamble, not play skeeball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would find a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 I would just keep being awesome at skeeball. That's sick that you found something that you're awesome at? Skeeball doesn't give you enough tickets, though.
What do you mean? That's true.

Speaker 1 Here's what you need to do. If you're awesome at it, maybe.

Speaker 1 Okay, so fair enough, but at Chuck E. Cheese, they don't give you as many tickets as they would at Busters.
You got to go to Busters.

Speaker 1 So you got to upgrade, first of all, upgrade your entire system to Busters. Yep.
Go there.

Speaker 1 Then they pay you like a king with all the tickets that you're going to get, and you're going to be able to get like three Tech Deck skateboards instead of just two at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 And girls love Busters. It's true.
All girls love Busters. That's just a fact.
Always an awesome ratio at Busters. Yeah.
All right. That's our show.

Speaker 1 Monday, who are we going to run? Let's talk about it right now. I like the interview that we did today, actually.

Speaker 1 Today we interviewed Craig Barubi, the head coach of the St. Louis Blues.
We have Damon John, too, which was a great interview.

Speaker 1 Mike Vrabel.

Speaker 1 Interesting. We got a lot of choices.
We should get

Speaker 1 a Dockets or a Mark Titus if you can watch his mouth on this episode. Mark Titus is not.
I was talking to Mark Titus last night. He was going to come in for the Big East tournament.
Coronavirus.

Speaker 1 Can't travel. He got it? No.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, report that.

Speaker 1 Mark Titus, question. I believe we already report that.
Coronavirus question. Cut that right there.
Yes, yes. Mark Titus, coronavirus.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Today's a moment to find you shiny.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love. Okay,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 out.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I'll hold in. Spout me somewhere.

Speaker 1 So they learn that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 Well, it's no better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 Well, it's no better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Say

Speaker 1 I'm safe.

Speaker 1 All the things I can say

Speaker 1 in a live old. Just a flame of buries away.

Speaker 1 You all things I've got to remember. Did you shine away?

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you in your life.

Speaker 1 Did you shine away?

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you in your life.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my take presented by Farstool Stool Sports.