Kevin Bacon, Jags Coach Doug Marrone, And Media Trades

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer, a twofer for the people. We have Kevin Bacon and Coach Doug Marone.
Doug Marone, recurring guest. Kevin Bacon, first-time guest.
We got bacon and bologna. Bacon and bologna.
Don't ketto today, boys. Fry today boys fry it up delicious great interview with both those guys a little extra bonus two for on a friday before all the crazy march madness action starts next week we have fire fest of the week we have a dramatic reading of lebron james caption and faqs before we do all that though part of my take is there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites every ingredient is carefully chosen every recipe made with a purpose their oven gold turkey smoke master ham and Roast Chicken are made from premium whole cuts,

hand trimmed, and perfectly seasoned.

Last weekend, I made the ultimate sandwich, oven gold turkey, cheese, pickles, and mustard.

Simple, but unbelievable.

So next time you're at the deli, don't settle, get the best.

Boar's Head, committed to craft since 1905.

Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at boarshead.com.

Okay, let's go. No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't live all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash App.
Go listen to our Cash App taboo that we just nailed. You're going to want to send the guacamole to and from your fridges, and you can get $10 if you use code BARSTOOL, and $10 of that goes to the ASPCA, saving some dogs, saving some cats.
Today is Friday, March 6th, and we have a media trade. Oh, boy.
Media trade. So nothing gets the juices flowing quite like a media trade.
This really tells you where we are in the calendar. The NFL League season hasn't started.
Free agency hasn't started. March Madness hasn't started.
NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup playoffs, they haven't started. So we're talking media trades.
I wouldn't poo-poo this news like that because I feel like even if this was the end of the NFL season, we're still leading with media trade. This could be during the Super Bowl and we'd be like, whoa.
This is huge. So Al Michaels is in talks.
Apparently, ABC, Disney, they own ESPN. Ever heard of them? They're trying to get Al Michaels.
NBC doesn't want to give them up, but ESPN wants Al Michaels to maybe team them up with Sheriff, Peyton Manning, put them in the booth together, and make TV magic happen. Okay, so essentially, yeah, ESPN is trying to get the perfect booth in their minds of Al Michaels and Pepe together so they can get in the Super Bowl rotation.
Everyone's going to watch Monday Night Football for that. It actually makes sense because NBC has an embarrassment of riches with Mike Tirico waiting in the ring.
He is there so that he can eventually take over the Sunday night job. So it's like if they lose Al Michaels, obviously Al Michaels is a legend, but they have a guy who can slide right in.
No problem. Easy peasy.
The question is, what can NBC get back in the trade? They got to like, what is, do are all the contracts? There are cap ramifications that we have to look at. Stephen A.
Smith, is that a hang up the phone too fast? Stephen A. Smith is untradeable.
What about Bomani's expiring contract? Bomani and Pablo as a team, as a unit going in there. That cap space comes off.
I don't know if I could see Chris Collinsworth sliding into the two of them. Chris Collinsworth sliding into Mike Tirico is actually, given Tirico's greasy nature, I could see that happening.
Also, Jack Collinsworth just signed with NBC. Never saw that one coming.
Maybe he gets the booth right away. The Collinsworth Collinsworth.
He's earned it. What about Bob Lay? Oh, dude, he's kind of retired.
He kind of retired, but it's been a lifelong dream of his probably to do a Summer Olympics. He's been with the company since it started, but he hasn't gotten that chance.
He's Marian Hosa having the allergic reaction to pads, so he's still on the balance sheet. He could come back, but he's out.
He's having an allergic reaction to his beard, which he has to shave anyways for the coronavirus. So he'll go to NBC.
He'll cover the Summer Olympics. You know that Bob Lee is not going to get pink eye.
That guy does not eat ass. Bob Lee has an allergic reaction to the fact that the NFL has seemingly gotten the concussions under control.
Right. There are no more concussions to report on, so he can't do it.
He can't be around anymore. There's nothing left.
When Bob Lee said nobody was getting hurt anymore, he just packed up his desk. He was like, my work here is done.
What about if NBC got the rights to play makers season two and they got to make the show I would love to if like that like if this actually was going on and they're like well you know what NBC's like you know what we'll throw in the AT a 10 like go ahead you can have Bucknell Colgate go like or like Mike Breen yeah Mike Breen oh good one you know that that bang Dave Pash is like knocking on Jimmy Pataro's door right now being like, please trade me. Please get me the fuck out of here.
Right, right. I need to get out.
Oh, that'd be an awesome booth though for basketball if it's Al Michaels and Bill Walton. Yes.
Fuck. A little scotch and soda going on there.
Do you think ESPN at any point was like, hey, how about we package Max Kellerman and then Kellerman? And then it's just like, hello, are you still there?

Yeah.

Hello.

Hello.

Did you hang up?

Did we lose you?

They're just trying to unload people.

He used to rap.

Yeah.

Michelle Beedle's expiring contract would probably be very attractive.

She doesn't even like football.

That's right.

Is Leroy going to get in traded?

Because apparently he is an NBC employee.

Yeah.

Leroy is.

He's also, Leroy's a little bit on the hot seat.

He started a rumor last night. We'll get to that later.
What about Mr. Portnoy for Dickie V? Oh, okay.
So we're now talking about all kinds of trades. I'm saying who would we trade for Marstool? Yeah, Mr.
Portnoy. No, I would say Mr.
Portnoy is more valuable than Dickie V at this point. I don't know.
Yeah, Mr. Portnoy still has like a decade left, At least.
We will trade Jake Marsh on weekends only in exchange for Darren Revell's children. We would actually have to put for Mr.
Portnoy, we would have to put a clause in it. Like we will not trade Mr.
Portnoy if Donald Trump becomes president again in 2020. Because that will give him another four years of life.
Yes. Like he will be, he'll be still he'll be still feeling young scrappy complaining like he'll do everything because he has that in his life so if that if the election goes to the democrats mr portnoy becomes an asset we no longer want well yeah it's like the the old what do you do when you finally chase the car you've been chasing yes or when you catch the car you've been chasing what about oh my god oh my god oh my god what if it's greenie greenie's untouchable you're right they nbc wouldn't even ask that would stall all negotiations because greenie's magic doesn't work the same for me if he's on nbc no no he's not a peacock guy it would be a non-starter if they went maybe that's how it.
They're like greeny, and then they come back

and they're like, okay, how about just Stephen A?

Yeah, that's smart.

But to address your

previous allegations against Leroy,

Leroy reported

accurately last night, in my

opinion, and in his estimation, that

Eli Manning was having dinner.

This is actually, instead of the Tom

Brady update, we're just going to do Eli Manning Bears updates from that one. Eli Manning was having dinner with the Bears last night, allegedly.
Leroy heard that from a source close to the situation. I've heard from sources.
Inside the restaurant. I've heard from sources inside Hallis Hall that that's patently not true.
Well, that would be a very logical thing for them to say. Because of tampering? Because if they admitted to it, then they would get punished.
Did you see a picture? I saw a picture of a text message. Of someone saying Eli's in a restaurant? Yeah.
And that's good enough to roll with it? I don't want to get anybody in trouble for it. But yes, I am still relatively confident that Eli Manning, or Leroy is relatively comfortable.
Do you ever feel bad that Leroy might have reported this incorrectly

and then started an entire news cycle

on this? Why would I feel bad about that?

It wasn't there. And then that guy,

who's that guy?

Leroy's reporting was confirmed.

Well, no.

And they added details onto it.

No, he actually said no.

He phrased

the tweet like it was confirmed.

Then he's like, I'm not confirming this whatsoever.

I'm just talking about a story that's going around.

He added details to it.

So he stacked the details.

I truly believe that Eli Manning was having dinner with some representative from the Bears last night.

They've said openly that they're looking for a veteran quarterback to bring in.

There's no more veteran than Eli Manning. Yeah.
Eli, though, has said that he's retired and wanted to retire a giant and never wants to wear another uniform. Okay.
And also, it wouldn't play where he wasn't starting, like the bona fide starter. These are all just sideshows to the report, which was Eli Manning was eating a pork chop.
Got it. Oh, it was a pork chop.
Interesting. I don't think they have a pork chop on that menu

at orioles yeah well that was that was the other person interesting leroy never reported that orioles was the restaurant oh interesting so he could have had a pork chop anywhere anywhere anywhere got it but so you're saying that the report that he was at that restaurant now is incorrect the report that he was at a restaurant is correct right now in chicago yes with the bears I never said in Chicago.

Okay.

With the Bears.

Got it.

So when that report came out how tight did your butthole pucker i actually went from this is ridiculous to uh you know what it would be fun it would be fun yeah that's all we ask for right yeah the last thing that we want is a boring team yeah eli manning would give us something to talk about we We would. I mean, Eli Manning would quickly.
The old saying goes, there's no one more popular than the backup quarterback in Chicago. So Eli Manning would immediately be the most popular guy in town.
Oh, you don't think he'd start? No, I think he'd have to earn it. I think he would start as QB, too.
We're committed to Mitch. Mitch is our quarterback.
Rex is our quarterback. Round and round we around we go that arch would call in archie manning would call in a favor since he's the shadow commissioner i want arch be like start my start my boy i want arch manning maybe that's what they're doing he's just waiting for his nephew in like six years right what if this is like a uh a nicks type deal where they're getting the person who's connected to the free agent that they want so they're just bringing eli on to be be a part of the front office.
And then lo and behold, six years from now, they pull an Eli Manning and on draft day demand to be traded to the Bears. Yeah, maybe it's like LeBron wants to play with Bronny and Eli, his dream his entire life is to play with his nephew.
There you go. That's definitely possible.
I could actually see that being real. Like I want to play to play with arch one year eli manning had an incredible turkey bowl where he threw for like seven touchdowns all to arch and he's like one day one day buddy me and you getting back together in the big leagues this is just dawning on me right now how big of a fucking suck up is cooper manning naming his son arch like we get it dude you didn't make it to the nfl you don't have to suck up to your dad by naming your son Arch.
That's just one of Cooper's classic gags. Yeah, oh, it's so funny, Arch.
All right, so one last thing about the media trade. How much does it suck to be Joe Tessitore and Booger right now? Yeah, I feel bad for Booger.
That's tough. I feel bad for Booger.
He's had a rough go of it the last couple weeks. Both of them.
That's a couple months, really. Everyone talking about your job.
They're just like, hey, we want this dream team. Our dream team booth is out there.
And if we don't get it, we'll just go with this again. Listen, Booger's been taking out his frustrations on that Peloton recently.
He's been posting his scores and tagging me in all of them. And he's putting up numbers that Lance Armstrong could not put up in his prime.
Booger's finishing in 11th place out of 5,000 people in a Peloton class. He's a beast.
Just dominating, just out of pure rage because everyone won't stop talking about his job. Maybe he needs to tweet those numbers so that he can start...
ESPN's like, wow. He is.
Peyton's not on the Peloton. He is tweeting those numbers.
Is Peyton's neck okay? Can Peyton look side to side? I don't think Peyton could get on a Peloton to save his life. Is there a steroid test at ESPN for spouses? Definitely not.
The only other thing in this media trade that I loved is the idea that- John Bucci-Gross is definitely on the juice. Oh, yeah.
The idea that Phil Rivers is also being talked about. Because Phil Rivers, I can't believe we've never even thought of this, but is there not a more perfect guy? You don't have to worry about him ever swearing.
He's likable. He's got the Southern twang.
He'll be animated. Phil Rivers needs to be in a booth.
Get a bolo tie up there. Fuck yeah.
I would really, really enjoy that. Just having a Southern accent in the booth is always comforting for some reason.
Absolutely. If I hear Marty Smith just commentating something, he's like, my daddy taught me when I was a little boy.
He said, Marty. I automatically stop on that channel because I'm like, this is so folksy.
I got to hear the story that he's telling to Nick Saban on his boat for the one week a year that Saban takes a little bit of time off. What's the guy's name? Well, Wright.
Wright Thompson. Wright Thompson.
I mean, they use him for every single SEC game ever, and every time I hear his voice, I'm like, holy shit, this guy, we're ready to go. It's fall.
Yeah, let's get a little Southern accent going up in that booth. Maybe just have Wright Thompson be there.
I guess Booger is a Southern accent. Yeah, he's got to.
Shit, we're doing the ESPN thing. We're basically ESPN execs.
Like, we need a Southern accent. Listen, we need a Southern accent.
We need a guy who played in the NFL. And a quarterback.
A Super Bowl winner with a Southern accent. No, because Tony Romo never won a Super Bowl.
No, I know, but Pepe did. We got to capture some of that magic.
The blueprint's out there, Big Cat. We need a quarterback that played in the last 15 years that never won a Super Bowl and might have a little bit of a Southern...
Oh, shit.

There you go, Phillip Rivers. We need an Italian guy with an easy-to-pronounce name

where his last name starts with a T.

Mike Tirico.

Oh, yeah, all right, perfect.

We don't have that.

That sucks for them.

I do feel bad for them.

All right, we got to get to Fyre Fest,

but before we do that,

barstoolgold.com slash PMT, we also have to do Tom Brady update. Yes.
Tom Brady update. So the update is there was a phone call, and it didn't go well.
What that means, no one knows. Maybe bad reception.
Maybe it's like, hey, can you hear me? Like, it cut out. Bill and Tom talking, chopping it up.
Bill and Tom's excellent adventures. It also depends who you ask, because some say it didn't quote-unquote go well.
Other people say it was just Belichick was all business. Interesting.
But no business was conducted. Right, but he was...
All business would be good if they actually talked turkey and had an understanding. My question is, what would you expect Bill Belichick after 20 years of being your coach? What would you expect him to say? Would you expect him to get on the phone and be like hey tom what are you love you so much man yeah we really really want you back we don't get you back i don't know what we're gonna do like that's not belichick hey tom i was thinking about you and i'm getting there hey tom think about me switching back and forth between me calling the plays and steve calling the plays uh so i think that belichick was probably like hey, Tom.
It was never going to get done in one phone call. He was probably like, Tom, listen, you know where all the bodies are buried.
You know all the cheating stuff that we've done. I just want to make sure that it's cool if you go somewhere.
Like, we're cool, right? Yeah, like, hey, dude, you're not going to say anything. I won't say anything.
I know about when you smashed your cell phone and you gave it to me. So I just want to make sure that, like.
He's got that last call. It's all good, right? Like, hey, if you go somewhere else, like, we're not, we agree, like, we're not going to talk about each other, right? Yeah, it's the after bachelor party email that we talk about where Bill's just like, hey, this goes without saying, but everything that happened in Foxborough stays in Foxborough.
If you are that guy, if you are that guy who on the Monday after a bachelor party emails the entire group and says, hey guys, just want to make sure that everything that happened this weekend, we're not going to talk about when the wedding comes around. You're a douchebag and it makes me want to talk about it more because guess what? Oh, you are going to talk about it.
Why don't you just trust the fact that we went on a bachelor party together? You don't have to be that guy. You made it awkward for everyone.

Now we make you pay. Do you think that Bill actually gets down into brass tacks and talks about numbers?

You think he's like, Tom, we're thinking two years, 17 million a year.

What do you say?

17 million a year.

Not on the first phone call.

Yeah, you got to do a little.

You got to warm him up.

Yeah, yeah.

A little foreplay.

You've been looking really young. Did you do anything with your face? No.
I've been scowling. No.
I was talking about Belichick saying that to Brady. Tom, you look great.
Have you been eating extra less strawberries? You'll admit that he's got plastic surgery, right? Eh. Is Botox plastic surgery? No.
No. Botox is just injecting microorganisms I'm on the record no I don't think he's gone under the needle I'm on the record that if I were that rich I would absolutely get plastic surgery so I'm not judging it's just a awkward it's like like Erlacher when he got his hair he did a video right away if he had just shown up with hair like showed up with hair, we were all like, what's going on here, dude? You can't just show up with hair one day and expect us to act normal.
Like, you can't do plastic surgery and everyone be like, yeah, it's cool. I think that if you make a certain amount of money, you'd be an idiot not to get Botox after you turn 40.
Dude, if I was Richard Tom Brady, I'd be lipo, botox, fucking ass implant, calf implant, bicep implant. One person, this is kind of random, but I've been seeing him on Bromo's a lot of TV.
Yeah, you just breathe and then go to the gym. John, shut up.
I'd look strong and know all these words. Dude, that's the whole point of being rich is you can take shortcuts on life.
John Cena's been scaring me lately with his lipos. Oh, big time.
It's fucking weird. Big time.
I weird big time i think what every time i see him i get freaked out i think what happens is when people decide to go down the the road of plastic surgery like one plastic surgery can be okay but then they get one and they're like wait this looks kind of weird let me get another one to fix the weirdness of the first one and then it's then you end up being wayne newton yeah cheryl david's another one yeah oh my uh my favorite person in the entire world was that guy on the real life or true life i uh need calf implants yes you remember him yeah he was like a bodybuilder he was like i've got the total package here but my calves just suck and to his credit isn't that entourage he had some shitty shitty calves you know that what they based that character off. That storyline for Johnny Drama was based off this shithead on True Life.
And he seriously just had like string bean calves. And so he got these calf implants and then had to spend like three weeks crawling around his house because he couldn't use his legs to walk.
Love it. It's awesome television.
Whatever it takes to look good. Okay, before we get to our interviews, we have Kevin Bacon and then doug marone should we do a quick fire fest sure all right hank why don't you start i have multiple actually this week whoa why don't you save one for later when you don't have one when your life is so awesome well they're all kind of relevant to this week i just had a festival heavy week okay uh my first one is not related to me but the Nick guy, the tightper Actual fire fest Nick Walenda That was my fire fest Is tuning in to watch him Potentially die in a fire And then I found out That he was on a harness So even if he fell He wasn't going to die So it was a completely Pointless TV viewing experience Always is Fuck the Walendas Fuck the Wallendas.
He was tightrope walking over a fire? Over a volcano. Yes.
Listen, the Wallendas? But if he fell, it's like, oh, shit, guy walking over a volcano. That'd be awesome if he fell.
That'd be electric TV. Then you tune in, and it's like, if he falls, he's fine.
I hate the Wallendas so much. You end up just watching a dude talk on his walkie-talkie to his wife about god for 30 minutes well no there's no even like proximity to death he doesn't wobble ever i'll tell you what walendas if you hired me as a pr consultant i'd fix it wait there's multiple of them it's a whole family flying walendas yeah i here's the pr fix one of you has to die well on tv on live tv their dad died i know but i it's been's been too long.
I need a pay-per-view death on TV. I think what's going on with them is, he usually goes without a net, without any sort of harness.
They have Joel Osteen at the end, just smiling his big, thick teeth. And he never wobbles.
He always goes perfectly straight. The rope is so thick.
It's a big, thick-ass rope. This one, the volcano, I think they were worried that if you fall into a volcano, you automatically go to hell, which I think is true.
Yeah, that is true. I think that's true.
And they're big God guys. Yeah.
So that's probably why they brought the harness out for this one. Fuck the Walendas.
Disavow the Walendas. We are an anti-Walenda podcast.
For sure. Unless they want to come on and let me say that to their face, then they're more than welcome to come on.
My second one was that I said Beth Phoenix. I'll slip them poison.
I'm not happy with the Willenders. RKO'd Sting.
Beth Phoenix is Sting's wife. It's actually Edge's wife.
I don't think I've ever gotten more tweets, so I just want to say I'm sorry for that. That was a mistake by me.
Apology not accepted. Sting versus Edge.
It's like one, I mean, yeah, I don't know. I really don't know how I fucked it up either, but my third one is that Kendrick Perkins has been ghosting me yeah that's tough one of my favorite Celtics players of all time I said something on the part of my Twitter about getting him on and he was like set it up let's make it happen I DM'd him was like yo huge fan like would love to get you on here's our studio address blah blah blah he's like all right I'm in New York next week let's make it happen and then I'm on like probably five or six or seven and the worst part is messages and the worst part is kendrick perkins is forever online so he's i know probably 300 times and i like i'm getting to the point where i'm like i kind of want to just be like dude i like i see you you're on you're on your phone you're on your phone yes like just look yes can i give you some advice sure you've you've come off a little thirsty with your kendrick i think you have to yeah uh and it's one of those ones where it's like, it's not just regular booking.
It's like, I actually am a humongous Kendrick Perkins fan. And he can feel that.
He can feel that. So I feel like you have to go to the other side of the equation and start flirting publicly with someone you know that he hates, which is pretty much everyone else, right? Yeah.
Everyone that he hasn't played with in the NBA. Which isn't a lot of people.
Right. So find somebody that he doesn't like and then start going after them let him see that and then he'll be like oh yeah these guys i gotta get there first either that or we'll just put like a big ass fake spread of food like delicious looking food on our table and just take a picture at that and send it send it to him he'll be like yeah i'll be there just tweet do a quote board and be like we had Ray Allen on the podcast and be like,

Ray Allen says Kendrick Perkins is a pussy.

Yeah.

And then he'll definitely get upset about that. Make a fake quote.

Yes.

And then he'll never come on the air to discuss.

Yeah.

You got a Fyre Fest PFT?

I do.

My Fyre Fest is I'm going to the Caps game tonight.

Okay.

I'm going to Madison Square Garden.

I'm going to try to use that employee entrance that they leave open for celebrities. And I am doing Sober October until Friday night.
And it's a Thursday night right now. Tough.
And so I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, going to a hockey game and not having a cold beer in your hand is going to feel weird.
You could just have a beer. I could have a beer, but I'm doing Sober October, dry January.
March. Shit, we're March.
I feel like technically, though, you probably still have alcohol on your stream from this weekend. So you might as well.
I haven't started yet. You might as well.
So you can drink tonight and then start next. Next Monday.
So it'll probably actually if I drink a little bit more, I'll probably push the rest of the alcohol out of my system. Right.
So I'll be totally clean by Monday. Yes.
There you go. Firefest fixed.
There we go. Rare that we fix a FireFest.
I've lost like 1.2

pounds this week. Huge.
Yeah.

You took a big shit or what? I feel really

healthy. I stopped

being on a bender. So that

works. That did it for me.
Hopped on the Peloton.

Alright, my FireFest is

the new Twitter stories, but

not because I care,

or actually it is because I don't care.

Twitter stories is coming out.

They've debuted it, and this is the first

time Twitter's made a change

I'm going to go me. It means that you're getting old, yeah.
Yeah. Usually a good Twitter change would get the blood boiling.
Like when they changed to 260 or 80 characters or whatever. When they changed the stars to the hearts when they uh changed quote tweets and all that stuff there's a million things they've changed that i've gotten so angry about this happened and i was like stanley who cares oh you remember when they changed the uh the avatar from a square to a circle yeah that pissed me off right but i don't care you're not mad about the story what because you've been using stories already just on a different platform but i just don't care it's by the way i this tells me that twitter is absolutely losing a step if it took them like three and a half four years to copy a feature on another platform you got to do that shit within like six months instantly and be like oh parallel mind yeah facebook's like oh we were coming out with stories too right after snapchat did oh shit you.
You beat us to it. But we've been planning it for years.
Yeah. Fuck.
So, yeah, I don't care anymore. It's bad.
It's bad. That's the first step of just dying.
Yeah. When you stop caring about the little things that change on Twitter.
They said that there's going to be a small difference in how their stories are being used as opposed to Instagram. Yeah, don't care.
Don't care. You don't even care what that functionality might be? Well, I'm sure it would be 12 seconds instead of 15.

Let me get you interested

in Twitter again.

You ready for this?

Yeah.

What if they made a super like?

A super like button?

What would it do?

I don't know.

You could only use it once a week.

It's also doing the thing

where I think they haven't done it yet,

but they're going to roll it out

where you can say things

that only are temporarily there.

Cyberdust.

Yes, on Twitter, though.

Interesting.

That's the same thing

as a story, though.

Interesting.

No, but it's like a tweet. I don't know.
It's different than a story. No, I think they were saying they're temporarily there because they only last for 24 hours.
And then it deletes? Something like that. The hater? I believe it's separate.
Yeah, I believe it's separate than stories, but I could be wrong. Got it.
Well, either way, I don't care. All right, let's do our interviews.
We have Kevin Bacon, Doug Marone. Before we get to those.
Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat. Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.
Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for email. And weather whatever in Ariat work gear.
Okay, let's get to Kevin Bacon. Okay, we now welcome on very special guest.
He is acclaimed actor and now podcaster, Kevin Bacon. So let's start with that.
Let's start with the podcast. You are encroaching on our turf.
You have a new podcast, The Last Degree of Kevin Bacon on Spotify. I'm going to give you a pass though, because everyone in the world has a podcast now now but you're doing it a little differently so can you explain how it is different than everyone like us idiots getting in front of a mic.
I didn't even realize that it was such a thing. I had this feeling that everyone has it but there's also this like really like kind of protective world.
Somebody said to me something along the lines of like listen if you're going to get out there for the podcast you better fucking start listening to some podcasts you know and i was but still it was like a whole you know kind of like world yeah um you know i could never do an interview show because it would have to be about the person being interviewed and and and i'm much too self-centered to spend a lot of time you know asking somebody asking somebody else things about themselves. Plus, I'm just not a good interviewer.
I would never be able to do that, nor would I ever put myself in a position of trying to share tidbits of wisdom because I don't really have any. And so it's not like, it's never really been interesting to me.
You know, like, for instance, people have said to me, have you ever thought about writing a book? Like the last thing in the world that I would want to do is write a book about my life. It's just not interesting.
However, making fun of myself, making fun of Hollywood and celebrity and this weird kind of like meta life that I live and the whole Six Degrees thing. It's something that I've done in the past in comedic ways and that I really, really like.
I've played myself a number of times. And what happened was I had done this film.
I've done a few little things for Funny or Die. And the last one I did was called A Duck Walks In on a Couple Having Sex.
And it was a short film about me directing my first film and I'm playing myself, playing a very heightened version of myself, you know, basically, you know, just, you know, an asshole. Now you say it's a heightened version of you, but I feel like that's the opposite of you.
I feel like you're, in terms of Hollywood actors, people who have been in the business forever you're you know a normal guy who seems to have a grounded view of life i think that's i think that's true but i also think that if you're famous life is weird you know what i mean so you did say like the just now that being famous is weird does it still feel weird even though you've been famous for so I mean, it's decades and decades. It still feels weird.
Well, in a way, it actually feels more... I think what would feel weird nowadays would be not being famous.
Did I tell you the story before? I can't remember. Go ahead and say it again.
Well, there was a story a few years ago. I wanted to see what uh it would be like not to be recognizable because you know it's funny because people say let me tell you something if you come to our town no one's gonna know you no one's gonna bother you you know and it's just it's just not true i mean i got it's it's it's it's it's nothing that i it's 99 good.
People all day long say, I love you or you're awesome or whatever. I love that.
I never take it for granted. And I think that if you complain too much about being famous, then you really don't deserve to be famous anymore.
You work your whole life to try to get this. So to it and then you know bitch about it it just doesn't make any sense you know but there's times when you just think god i would just be so interesting just to walk through the world and just kind of see the world without having the world constantly be looking back at you and so I had a special effects makeup artist build me a disguise and

he applied it uh and i decided to go out and i went to out uh to i don't know if you're familiar with the grove in in in hollywood yeah uh it's you know a big outdoor mall basically crowded you know and tons of people and shopping and the whole thing and i walked through the grove and nobody recognized me and all of a sudden i went wow this sucks i mean everyone's just treating me like a normal person to wait for a table have to wait for a table yeah it's like i gotta no one's being nice to me for no reason at all you know what i mean and so yeah you've thought that world is like a really nice, friendly place for the last 30 years. It's a little bit different sometimes when they don't have a reason to automatically be nice to you, right? Right.
That's funny. I don't remember that story.
So that's, I mean, it's a good thing to do every now and then, I would assume to like reset and be like, hey, you know what's nice is being a little famous, having a little fame.'s nothing i take for granted honestly and and i don't uh like i said i you know there's two kinds of actors actors that want to be famous and liars yes that's a good that's a good quote you uh you said 99 of the time it's nice i don't i have never met somebody that has said like i hate kevin bacon like I hate he sucks I hate Kevin oh I have really? somebody that has said, like, I hate Kevin Bacon. Like, he sucks.
I hate Kevin. Oh, I have.
Really? Are there actively Kevin Bacon haters out there? What was their issue? There was a guy came up to me. This has happened multiple times.
Really? But years ago, I was in a small town in North Carolina. I was shooting a movie.
And we go out with the crew. The town i was actually shooting in was a dry town so we had to go over to this other town to go out so we go to the bar it was a local bar you know kind of you know basically kind of a redneck bar and we're sitting there and this guy comes to my to my table and his name was tiny and to say that this fucking guy was huge is like the understatement.
I mean, I know people will say that I'm building him up to be bigger than he is, but he was huge. And my friend Eric was with me, who's about, I think he's about 6'3".
And the guy comes over to me, Eric and I are sitting, Eric had come down to visit me, and we're sitting there, we're having a beer. And the guy comes over and he goes, Hey, are you Kevin Bacon? And I said, yeah.
He goes, I hate Kevin Bacon. I want to kill him.
And I said, okay. And I thought he was kidding.
Yeah. And he was not kidding.
What, did he say a role that you played? No, no, no. He was just a drunk kid that wanted to fight me.
I feel like he loved Jack Nicholson's character from a few days. He's like, you shouldn't have arrested him.
He was trying to protect you. Yeah, hated you in Animal House.
I don't know. Like, oh, you were one of the douchebags.
Like, I don't. But it was one of those, like, crazy times when I just stood up and I said, yeah, it's me.
You should have lied. Do something about it.
I don't know why. I don't know know why you want to I'm not sure why you want to do this but and he pulled back his fist and it was like a fucking cauliflower Jesus Christ and I stood there and there was another guy a little skinny guy who was standing behind me with a pool cue in his hand like behind me he.
He's like, hit him, Tiny, hit him, hit him. This is a true story.
Holy fuck. And for some reason, we just kind of stood there and looked at each other for a while.
And some girl in the bar came over and said, Tiny, you leave him alone. What did he ever do to you? And he just backed down.
I'm so curious why he hates you. I'm also a little bit disappointed in Tiny because it sounds like he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life.
He hates Kevin Bacon. And what are the odds that Kevin Bacon walks into his watering hole in Boone, North Carolina or wherever it is, and he's got his one opportunity, and then he pussies out.
Yeah, he said every day he went to the same bar, and he's like, if Kevin Bacon ever walks in this bar, I'm going to knock him out. And then boom, he was a complete coward about it.
It didn't happen. I really want to know what role or what you did to make him that mad.
I'd love to tell you that I think it was a role. What's the one role you'd think that someone would have watched that and been like, fuck that guy? I don't know.
Maybe. Actually, Diner, you were kind of a jerk.
I don't know. I don't know.
I've been a jerk plenty of times. I'm not sure.
Is it the woodsman? Yeah, the woodsman. I would kick the woodsman's ass.
I read when I was doing a little research here that you've played the role Jack, the name Jack, something like six different times. Somebody told me that.
Yeah, apparently it's a lot of Jacks. Do you think you get typecast as a Jack? I'm actually not playing Jackie right now.
The character's name is Jackie. There you go.
Yeah, that might be seven. So do you think you get typecast as a Jack? Because you do kind of look like a Jack.
Do I? I don't know. I don't know.
And you've played a Jacques, too. I've played a Jacques.
So six kind of... Was that five Jacks, a Jackie, and a Jacques? Let's see.
He's Friday the 13th, Quicksilver, Few Good Men, Apollo 13, My Dog Skip, Frost Nixon, and Super, You Played Jacques. That's seven.
Okay, so Jackie on City on the Hill, so that's eight. I know.
It's very weird. That is weird.
It's very weird. Jack Bacon.
I bet you that there's very few other names that I've even doubled up on. You know what it probably speaks to is like, it probably speaks to like writers liking the sound of that name for some reason.
You're also kind of like an everyman look to you. Like, hey, that's Jack from...
I wonder if, yeah, if we were to take a look at the amount of scripts produced in Hollywood right now, what percentage of like the leading males or the co-starring males would have the name Jack? Because it's kind of like at one time it's a strong-ish name, but it's also like a non-threatening name. You tend to like a Jack.
Yes, yes. How long do you think you're going to act for? Forever? Just forever and ever? Yeah, I mean, I would stop acting if...

An Oscar?

No. Like the John Elway?

Yeah.

I'm going off on the horse.

No, well, that's the great thing about being an actor

as opposed to playing sports.

I mean, I can keep acting and just start playing older guys, you know,

and then eventually you start to play the guys that drool,

and then you're wearing a diaper and I'm wearing it. And then Martin Scorsese makes you younger again and some really bad effects and then you're restart the whole thing yeah that's gonna that's good i think that's already being used even uh not even as a flashback in time just as a as a as a you know like a makeup technique really oh yeah yeah you can you can go and actually bank yourself like if i was 25 now i would bank myself bank the information and then they then they can rent that back just say a bunch of lines you're saying no just scan your face oh yeah just get all just get all the stuff but they can actually do it i think now from going back over movies.
I don't know if you ever saw this. There's actually a really cool way that they did this technique.
It's a scene. Someone did it with a scene in The Shining where they put Jim Carrey's face onto Nicholson.
And they just scanned a whole bunch of Jim Carrey movies. It's a deep fake.
Yeah, they could deep fake Kevin Bacon. You could have Jacks forever.
What Kevin Bacon would you want? Like, what year was your hottest? What was my hottest year? I know you were Sexiest Man Alive or one of the Sexiest Men Alive in 1995. I've never been even in consideration.
No, you were. I don't think so, man.
1995, yeah. Really? Yeah.
And then it's like the old, like, when you see, like, I want to see the research. I'll find out.
Was it People Magazine or was it just, like, some guy? Like, his daughter declared him. Sexiest.
Kevin Bacon. Wasn't that Jack alive? Yeah.
Well, you've played a lot of Jacks. Have you ever gotten the call to play Jack Ryan, the Tom Clancy guy? That sucks.
So you've played, like, every Jack except for the most famous Jack. That's right.
That's true. Sexiest actor alive in 1995.
What happened? I don't know. Since then.
I just don't remember that. It's like when a baby, when you're like, you used to be a cute baby.
You were a cute baby. Bring back the 90s.
That's why I love that. All right.
So 1995 seems like the time that we would. That would be the year.
Oh, look at that. Look at Glam Mag.
That would be the year. Two years in a row.
You had a dynasty. You're so humble.
God damn it. Honestly.
That's a bad haircut. No, I like the bangs.
It's the bangs. You see the bangs? Oh, yeah.
You pretty much have the racial. That is bad.
The constant, I just got out of the shower. Yeah.
Like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't try to set this up.
This is cool. I got to talk to you about Wild Things because, I mean, great movie great movie watched it several dozen times growing up uh i don't know if you watch all your movies that you put out but i i have to assume that that one was one where you're like gotta make another trip to blockbuster and run wild things just for the triple kiss scene i don't i you know i don't um i watch them i watch them as much as i can i watch dies, and I like to watch cuts and early cuts, and then I like to see it with an audience, and then I pretty much put it to bed.
I don't think I've seen Wild Things since it came out. You haven't seen Wild Things? I mean, I've seen it.
I saw it probably three or four times. It's pretty porn.
It's actually a funny thing going back to the podcast.

Terry Gross is a guest

and when you first meet Kevin Bacon,

he's being interviewed by Terry Gross

and she goes,

Kevin,

I want to talk to you about

one of my favorite movies,

Wild Things.

It's really funny.

Do this Terry Gross interview

all about Wild Things.

That's awesome. She goes, you showed your genitals in wild things.
We have a clip. Is there one role that you played where you think back and you're like, I nailed it? Like, that's the one.
That's the one where I, if you, if someone walked up to you and said, Kevin Bacon, I've never seen any of your movies. Give me one movie to watch where you're in it.
What would you say? I'd say maybe Murder in the First. Okay.
Yeah, maybe that. JFK, Mystic River.
Air Up There? Not the Air. Damn.
Fuck. Air Up There was great.
Mystic River was awesome.. Griver was awesome.
He was a big fan. The air up there was awesome.

I remember seeing that and being like, this is cool.

We'll probably go find awesome centers everywhere.

Bob McAdoo was our technical advisor.

And Bob once said that one of the hardest things he ever had to do in his career

was make me look like a basketball player.

That's a direct quote.

Okay.

So it's like, have you ever heard stories about white man can't jump like wesley snipes never played basketball before that yeah amazing and they had to kind of like make it look like he knew how to play basketball so you you knew how to kind of play basketball uh i went you know i got with um he's a he's a big college coach uh steve steve fisher no uh was it steve lavin steve lavin oh there it is yeah he's not a coach anymore but. Steve Fisher? No.
Was it Steve Lavin? Steve Lavin. Oh, there it is.
Yeah, he's not a coach anymore, but he was. He was at St.
John's. He was all over the place.
Right, St. John's.
That's right. That's right.
And so Steve was – I was hanging out with Steve because, you know, I tend to do researchy kind of stuff. It wasn't even so much on basketball skills, although he was, you know, also kind of helped me a little bit with that.
Right. But then McAdoo came on, and he went, Bob went to, actually went to Africa with us and was there to kind of choreograph all of the basketball in the show.
Well, I loved that movie. So, but that's also like, we're now naming movies that we saw when we were like 12.
Yeah, I don't know if it would hold. Yeah, okay, I'll if it held up i'm guessing it might not yeah the last time i saw it was when i saw it and it was like i was like 10 years old and i was like this is the coolest movie ever so good job thank you uh when you when you go on a podcast like this or when you do an interview do you have stories that you save up like is there one person where you're like man if i ever go on the jimmy kimmel show yeah i have to have a good anecdote ready to go so i'm gonna write this one down so i don't forget it i have a thing on my phone we call it panel uh and we try to keep a list of things because everybody on you know on nighttime talk shows you know there's a there's a formula which is they it's short and they want funny anecdotes that's kind of what they want so but I forget shit can you give us one on your panel can you give us one here do this start telling this.
I want the Jimmy Fallon one. Start telling us a panel story, but then deviate from the truth, and we'll try to stop you when you're starting to lie.
Okay. This is going to be fun.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Fallon Show. Shout out, Questlove.
We did a funny little kazoo bit where we played a popular song using child's instruments. Cracked an egg over each other's head all right pretty goofy stuff we're sitting down with kevin bacon i got this dog my dog is like super super prey driven you know really really just loves to hunt and i'm not a i'm i'm not a hunter and the other the other day she comes back uh from being out you know around the back of the house and she's got something in her mouth and I come outside and she's got this possum in her mouth and it's like shake, shake, shake and I'm like drop it, drop it, drop it she drops the possum and the possum is there and laying there and I'm like oh shit, the dog oh sorry Jimmy Oh, sorry, Jimmy.
I can't say shit. You're going to have to believe it.
Yeah, we'll edit that out. Oops.
Good job. Did that story happen? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Sorry, you keep going.
It's not over yet. Yeah, it's not over yet.
George Orwell's dead. Yeah, yeah.
Yes. It would be kind of a bummer if that's the end of the story.
Yeah, yeah. I think it would make for exciting nighttime television.
Good job, Kevin. That's why you don't get invited very often.
A lot of letters coming in. Your dogs and Joey Porter's dogs.
I have a feeling that there will already be letters coming in, even just based on this much of it. But what happened was I thought, well, now I've got to clean this up.
So I go to the barn, and I get a shovel and a bag to come back, and the possum is gone, disappeared. And when I tell you that that possum looked dead that possum looked dead and i go into the house and google playing possum and i find out that the truth is that they actually do play possum but what i learned was that they do it involuntarily.
Okay? So basically what happens is if they have a shock and some kind of quick trauma, they have something inside their body that makes them basically pass out and seem like they're dead and it's a survival instinct. And what a hilarious story, huh? huh wow no wonder i haven't used it on all right so here's what you should do so you do the possum you go inside you come back out and the possum is alive and it killed your dog ah there you go that's a funny story that's funny wait is that true it's like just kidding playing the laughs come tumbling down.
All right. Yeah, you can even say there was attacking your dog, and then you came out and you defended your dog.
Yeah. And you kicked the possum, and it flew like 30 yards.
And that's when you knew that you were going to join the MLS team, the Red Bulls. Yeah.
That's it right there. That's a new movie.
Well, fortunately, David Beckham was in your house because you movie stars hang out together. And so David saw the possum.
You get tattoos together. Yeah, ran out, kicked it, and the possum flew away using his kick power.
I think this all works. Great.
I mean, we are kind of writers, so. You can, you know, there is, with these stories, I think there's always tweakage that goes on.
Plus the fact that people tend people tend to you know embellish over time right right i mean we've got the bones of a good story there yeah we've got to work we've got a possum workshop dog attack yeah i don't know i'm not i'm thinking i might take that off of the list okay yeah probably take that one off the list um all right i had a couple uh final questions for you uh the seek ye questionek question, promo code TAKE. Put it in.
You get $10 off. Promo code TAKE.
So we're with Kevin Bacon. He's got a new podcast on Spotify.
I know this comes up in interviews, but I'm always fascinated because you never hear about it in Hollywood. You and your wife have been married for, what, 35, 40 years now? 31, I think.
32. Yeah, I want to get in trouble.
Well, 30-h yeah uh do you ever like go to parties and see some people that you you know were friends with and they're on their fourth wife or they're on their fourth husband and you're like well that's kind of weird like here we are i don't know if you if you're friends with them uh your true anomaly though wouldn't you say in the Hollywoodllywood area i'd say in hollywood it's like a hollywood platinum yes yes yeah yeah uh yeah um but nobody has ever convinced me that marriages have a shorter shelf life in hollywood than they do anywhere else let's face it marriage just doesn't work most people don't stay married they just don't i mean that's you know you but i don't know that i haven't seen the statistics that indicate that it's any worse for for celebrities it's just that we hear about celebrities well and also you have like the outliers like kardashian and uh what's his name chris humphreys they got married for like 11 days that kind of screws up the whole the whole average there the bell curve yeah right fucks everything up for It fucks everything up for everyone, but you're on the other side. You're trying to, you know, anchor it down.
Yeah. Let's keep going.
We're just, we're just having a good time together. You know, I, I, I have no, I have no explanation for it.
Okay. Let me then ask a followup question.
Is it weird that people bring it up in interviews? Cause now I feel weird. No, you should not feel weird.
Everybody brings it up in interviews. interviews um you know what what everybody's looking for is something that i've decided that i can't really

give which is is a quote you know advice or an advice yeah yeah i mean you know we used to both

use we used to both say keep the fights clean and the sex dirty and then i you know that people were

like that's funny but really seriously how do you do it you know and and then so i stopped even doing

I'm going to... or anybody else you know it's only because of us and whenever i see any of these quotes she's my best friend you know oh she just we make each other laugh i just want to puke on my shoes i mean i i i don't i can't really i can't go there so we need to make up a new story when you say like keep the fights clean and the sex dirty be like every time we're gonna fight we actually dress up in tuxedos and by the time we put them on we're like what were we even fighting about even fighting about? There it is.
We're laughing. Yeah.
Let me write that down. Yeah, that's a pretty good one.
And then people will believe it. I dress up like her, and she dresses up like me, and then we fight from the other person's perspective, and it allows us to see maybe what my partner was being upset about.
There you go. It's actually not a bad story.
Yeah, that's not bad. If this comes up in every interview, you should just use this to make up whatever story you want because people will believe it.
That's true. But then you're going to get like a soundbite or a quote that's taken out of context from this interview that you're trying to bullshit this weird answer to, and then your wife's going to see and be like, hey, what the hell was that about? Yeah.
I was just joking with them. They were idiots.
They didn't know any better. What mean, there's really no good – what I've found is there's really no good way to answer this.
Either it looks like saccharine and sweet or it looks like you're being judgmental of other people in the way that they run their lives or it's just stupid.

Or just do the anti-comedy and any time anyone brings it up, be like, actually, we just got divorced.

Yeah, I do say that.

I'm just coming from the signing of the papers. That's one thing I do say.
I usually say, well, I give it six months. All right, I got one last question and then we'll let you go.
I heard a rumor that you pay wedding DJs 20 bucks not to play any songs from Footloose. Is that true? I have done that.
I have done that in the past. That has happened, yes.
Why do you do that? I don't do it on a regular basis because I don't go to that many weddings. I don't go to weddings for this very reason.
That's why you've never gotten divorced and remarried because you don't want them to play footloose. Let me explain to you what the thinking behind that is.
In your wedding, that is the one day maybe that you're ever going to have in your life where you are the stars where you the bride and the groom are the they are the biggest names on the call sheet as we like to say they are the top they've got top billing then there's a supporting cast of the you know the bridesmaids and the grooms and the parents and the on both sides and way down at the bottom is me right and so when you get to a wedding i don't want to become the focus of attention but what happens is everyone's really cool at the beginning for like the ceremony because the alcohol has not come out but in the course of evening, as people start to drink and get looser and looser,

if they put on that song,

everyone will form a circle around me,

clapping their hands and wanting me to come out

and start dancing around like a trained monkey.

And I just don't want to do it

because it takes the focus away from the bride and groom.

That's how I feel.

I honestly feel like this should not be a night about me.

Some people are saying you can't do the Footloose dance anymore.

Well, there's that too.

That's what people have been saying.

That's what I heard.

Yeah, there's that too.

That's a very nice sentiment, but it also gives you a good opportunity to go up to a wedding DJ at the start

and be like, hey, just so you know, I'm Kevin Bacon. I know you're probably thinking about playing Footloose later on tonight, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm, just so you know, I'm Kevin Bacon. I know you're probably thinking about playing Footloose later on tonight, but here's $20.
Maybe you just keep that one on the back of the CD rack tonight. Yeah, which I've done.
And then there's also the risk that the guy goes, thanks for the $20. I have no idea who you are.
Yeah, or he says, I'm actually going to play it 10 times now because you should have paid me 100. Right.
Yeah. Or he says, what's Footloose? Yeah.
Right. We're getting to that age.
Yeah, probably. All right.
Well, Kevin Bacon, thank you so much. Do we get any extra credit for not bringing up Six Degrees of...
Yes, you do. Okay.
Yes. So that's...
I don't know how... Of course, the podcast is called The Last Degree of Kevin Bacon.
True. Yeah.
But we didn't try to play the game with you. No, you didn't.
So we get credit for that. You do get credit.
I got to tell you, you definitely get credit. Yeah.
So go listen to Last Degree of Kevin Bacon on Spotify. Please also, you're about to do another interview.
Okay. Don't do the tiny story because that was a great story.
So let's keep that exclusive. Okay.
Use that to promote this. Yeah, I won't do Tiny.
Go to your panel on your phone.

It's a pretty, I got to tell you.

Do the possum story again.

That one you can, we're okay with you telling the possum story.

Tiny story is a pretty exclusive story, especially since I just made it up here.

Okay, thanks to God, guys.

That was fun.

Great job.

That interview with Kevin Bacon was brought to you by Roman.

It's allergy season. You know what that means.
Sneezing, watery eyes, runny nose, the works. So you head to the pharmacy.
You're looking for relief, but research shows that 80% of allergy sufferers fail to select the best medication off the shelf to treat their symptoms. On the flip side, you could end up spending forever in a specialist waiting room or trying to get an appointment to get prescription treatment.
Our friends at Roman are now offering prescription allergy relief delivered right to your door. Roman takes the guessing game out of finding the right allergy treatment.
You can pick up your phone, pick up your laptop, complete a free online visit with a U.S. licensed physician, and they're going to develop a personalized allergy treatment plan that works just for you.
All of Roman's allergy treatment options were hand selected by their board certified ENT. So they know that you're getting expert recommendations.
And speaking of that pharmacy, don't even go to it. Don't go there.
Roman's pharmacy is going to ship your medication directly to your door with free two day shipping. You also get free unlimited follow ups with your doctor anytime anytime you have questions or you want to talk about adjusting your treatment plan.
Allergy season is one of the worst times of year. But with Roman, there's no commitments.
You can cancel anytime. So stop wandering aimlessly through the allergy treatment aisle at the pharmacy.
Go to GetRoman.com slash Barstool. Get a free online visit today.
That's GetRoman.com. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Now, Doug Marone. Marone.
Oof,one marone and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests he's been on the show this is your fourth time third time fourth time yeah yeah yep is that your phone yep i gotta shut my phone off no no you're fine you have an alarm going off i got alarms going wait that's your watch going off 3 45 in the afternoon that's not football guy like of got to shut my phone off. No, no, you're fine.
You have an alarm going off. I got alarms going off.
Wait, that's your watch going off.

345 in the afternoon.

That's not football guy like of you to have a watch that makes nice.

This is a Garmin watch because I'm trying to lose weight.

How many steps?

What do you got today?

I got like all these calories.

How many steps you got today?

I got, hold on.

I got 4,200, not to brag.

I got 280.

Oh, my gosh.

That's not very many. What are you even doing? That's not right.
I've been in meetings all day. I've been in meetings all day.
Yes, okay. All right, so let's start with this is a fascinating interview because you're like Nikki Sixx.
Remember when Nikki Sixx Motley Crude died and came back to life? Exactly. I'm a big Motley Crude guy.
You know, they're on stadium tours. Yeah, you were dead.
Coming to our place. You were fired, and then you came back to life.
So what did it look like on the other side? Did you see God? I don't know if you ever really have that type of thought process when you're going into it. Because people are talking about it, and you're like, yep, hey, this is the reality.
Look, this is the job we've chosen. I've got to focus on here.
This is my responsibility. This is what I have to do.
So the worst thing I think you can do in coaching is that when you start hearing stuff on the outside, it distracts you from what you're supposed to be doing. And then, you know what? What kind of leader are you? And then you're letting people down that are relying on you.
So for me, as chatter starts, the way I approach it is know i have to be stronger i have to be better you know i'm saying because i'm not one of those guys that you know that you can't i don't know how some people you know you get up there you go like i just block it all out and i don't read it and i don't hear it you're crazy you hear it you know i'm saying you're gonna hear it when you get up in front of the media you're gonna hear it you know if if you leave the building if you to go to the store to get something, you're going to hear that stuff. So, you know, rather than try to, you know, block it out, you listen to it and there's a reason for it.
I mean, when you're not winning games and you're not performing well and we're in a performance based business, of course, people are going to, you know, do it. Now, you know, what you sit, you sit down with and you have to have, hey, listen, when you sit down at the end of the year, or sometimes you have that opportunity, sometimes you don't, I was fortunate enough to have an opportunity to sit down and say, hey, listen, this is what I believe we have to do.
This is the direction we need to take. These are the things that we're going to do differently, and I feel like this is going to make us a better football team.
Okay, so we should go to this debate, PFT. Remember when we had this debate about Doug Marone and you were sitting with your owner fighting for your job? Did you cry a little? No, no, no.
I thought you would be like, I'm crying for my guys in a good way. Like, I love my guys so much.
Like, I'm passionate. You get into all these things like, hey, it's easy for the players to do this and they're still playing hard.
I mean, I'm not from that. You know, I think that everyone has a job to do and you should be able to do your job.
And, you know, if your focus is going to be taken away and all this stuff, you go. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's a decision that I'm not involved in.
I'm not the one that can control it, you know, but I can say, hey, this is what I believe. This is what I can do.
And if you don't believe that I'm the right person, you know, for you then, and you got to make, you know, a move. I understand it.
I'm not one of those people, you know, that, you know, I know that if I don't win games, you know, eventually all of us, if all of us don't win games, it doesn't matter who you are. You're not going to be around for a long period of time.
So, um, and I never want people that would say, gosh, that's an awful business. awful business i feel bad well it's a business that we've all chosen right you know so hey bring it on whatever happens happens i'm ready for the challenge and i'm glad that i have another opportunity i liked it that was like the reverse of of what we were speculating you go in and you're just like yeah fire me like if you want to fire me then that's on you you can fire.
And so you're kind of almost putting them in a position where they're like, no, no, Doug, stick around. I don't know.
I mean, I think they listen. I mean, they might have a vision for how they want the team or they won't have a vision for what changes are going to be made.
You don't know that, you know, and you don't try to find out what that is because you've got to say what's in your heart and what you believe because that's what you're going to do. A lot of times the worst thing, you know, it's like kind of when you interview a coach and he tells you, oh, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this.
And then you hire him and then all of a sudden you're on the field and he's not that. Same with a player, but you have more research on a player.
That's the worst thing you can do. I tell people all the time.
A lot of times when you interview for jobs, you know, you need to tell them what you believe. Don't tell them what you think they want to hear.
If you tell them what they want to hear and they hire you and then you start working and it's not what it is, you're not going to be successful and it's not fair to the players or the coaches that you're with. So explain what you have and believe it.
And if that's the direction that ownership wants to go with, then you are the perfect person for the job. If it's not, then you know what? You do need to move on because you're not going to be successful anyway.
You're going to spend the entire rest of your tenure there chasing that interview, chasing what you told them in that interview, if you're not like forthright with them. Yeah, absolutely.
Totally. So was it kind of a, I don't want to say blessing in disguise, but yeah, maybe a little bit of a blessing in disguise that those reports came out that it was, you know, you're going to be done after this year.
You get to kind of rally the troops that week and you've got, you know, a little bit more like pep in your step. You're like, I'm going to show everybody that kind of thing.
Was there any of that going on the last week? I mean, it's, you know, when you did things that motivate, there is motivation. I'm not going to sit here and go, like I said before, it's not like you don't listen to it.
And you're like, you know, I've always here's my relationship with with shot. I know that if he was going to do something like that, he is he is a really great man.
And I'm talking about just a good human being. He doesn't do business like that.
So in my mind, I'm thinking, you know, he hasn't said anything, so there's no decision made. I had no issue with that.
Right. But now there's speculation out there, and it's getting, you know, there's momentum building.
Okay, hey, you know what? Okay, yeah. I am a chip on the shoulder, you know, going against the world, woes me.
You know, I'm going to use all that motivation to get better. But that's me internally.
I can't do that to the players and the coaches. Yeah.
You know, for them, I'm just like, hey, listen, this is how this business is. Right now it's me.
Sooner or later it may be you. It may be you.
It may be you. It may be you.
I want you to watch how I handle this situation so when it happens to anyone in this room whether you're a declining player or a player that's not playing well it's going to happen somewhere along the line of all this let me be able to show you at least how you should handle it by my example and that's what i told the team i like that okay so how long did that meeting last i imagine that you lock the door and you're like i'm'm not letting you out until we figured this out. And then you cried and you're like, I love this team so much.
I cry at movies and books. But good cry.
This is a good cry because when a football guy cries because he loves his players so much, that's like the pinnacle of football guy cry. Yeah, I mean, it's – I just think it's just a presentation.
Okay, hey, listen, what are your plans? What are you going to do? Lay it out on the table. I mean, I think there's so many – it's amazing when you're – I guess for me, and I guess it's somehow how I look at your guys' lives.
I'm like, holy cow, they must have an unbelievable life. But you guys grind and work, you know? We cry.
I don't see that. Yeah.
I'm about to cry right now because I love my guys. I love Bubba.
Are we going to have like a group? Can we hug real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.
I'll give you a hug. Fine.
Fuck. Let's go.
You're going to get fired. Oh.
That report was wrong. Dead wrong.
Love you guys. I just wanted to get back.
You're still here. I'm not fucking going anywhere.
Right. Yeah.
All right. All right.
All right. Yeah, we got that out of the way.
By the time this interview is over, we'll have incepted you into thinking that you cried. You cried.
You're like, yeah, I cried a lot. All right.
So let's get to the important stuff. Yes.
How much do you hate the Houston Astros? Oh, don't. Now, Doug, if you don't know, Coach Marone is a diehard, true blue Yankee fan from the Bronx.
This happens in Houston, right? And I know that my Yankees got robbed. And there's probably a lot of other teams that got robbed, right? I mean, it's out there.
I mean, it just kills it. There's moments in the games, obviously, that I go back to and think about, you know, the home run to win it.
You know, the series with CC pitching. You know, I mean,'s it's it's bad but then i go to okay um you know none of the players obviously were punished but a lot of the managers were you know what i'm saying so um and i'm not saying you know anyone that has part of it or has to accept responsibility for it should accept consequences i don't care what sport it is or what you're doing.
But I still go back to the Pete Rose. You know what I'm saying? I know, was he wrong? Yes.
But how is he not, you know what I'm saying, in the Hall of Fame? Right. And then what happens? Is there asterisks to it? Is it the steroid error? What is asterisks to those people? I mean, Stanton said he would hit 80 home runs if he knew what pitch was coming.
I believe him. He'd have to stay healthy.
I don't know if you saw. He's already hurt today, like literally an hour ago.
Really? Yeah. He might not play opening day.
He's also just embarrassed about striking out. So Reno's out for the year.
I mean, Stanton, I don't know if you ever gave him your pinstripes, but that guy. You got to a championship, you gotta pinstripes.
You win a championship, you win a pinstripes. Doesn't Aaron Judge have his pinstripes? Yeah.
But he didn't win a championship. Yeah, but he's...
There you go. There you go.
Alright, alright. I like that.
He had big moments. Brett Gardner, pinstripes.
No question. So you have to win, in your mind, you have to win a World Series unless you're just really, really good.
No, unless you're the – I'm saying it because I know he's going to win a championship. And you know what? For the question you asked before, he should have won a championship.
Okay, but – So when did that come in now? Yeah. When did that come in? How was it on that team? Stolen pinstripes.
That's really the big – Stolen pinstripes. Right.
That's what the Astros got. I don't think you steal signals.
You stole pinstripes. Altuve got MVP when it should have been Judge.
Yeah. So that's extra pinstripes.
Another one. He's got double pinstripes.
Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of things that people have to, you know, they've lost focus on all the things that we've lost.
Yeah, right. What about Garrett Cole? I think he should get his pinstripes right away because of that picture of him in I think it was the 2001 World Series.
He's a huge Yankee fan. Yankee fan his whole life.
Always wanted to be a Yankee. Yeah, they were from upstate New York.
He's a stud. Moved out to California.
He's a stud. I think he gets his pinstripes right now.
What do you think? I mean, he hasn't played a game.

I know, but he's been a Yankee fan his whole life.

Well, I understand it.

So am I, and I don't have my pinstripes.

No, you got your pinstripes.

Yeah, you got your fan, yes, right?

The difference between me, I always tell people, I was a born Yankee fan.

My grandfather worked there as a non-sheriff for 25 years.

You came out of the womb with pinstripes, as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, well, I appreciate that. By the way, I have a bunch of jerseys from the pinstripe bowl.
Yes. Did you win a pinstripe bowl? Two.
Winning his pinstripe bowl coach. I don't know about that.
I have two wins. I don't know who's won two.
Paul Chris might have two. I know Wisconsin's won two.
Not in Yankee Stadium. I think we won back-to-back pinstripes.
Kind of a dynasty. Really? You know what? If I had to share it with someone, I love that guy.
You guys are very similar. He and I drink beer together.
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
We used to go to the conference meeting. Yep.
And he was at Pitt. I was at Syracuse.
And then we just kind of gravitated towards each other. And like, what are you doing? I don't know.
Want to get a beer? All right, let's go get a beer. Yeah a beer yeah you probably like and then we were like in a corner drinking you know drinking beer you're like just watching everyone like oh you know because the basketball coaches and everyone they're like yeah this is so and so yeah oh my god this is he and i was just yeah you're probably like no one really gives a crap about us yeah paul i really like your gray sweatshirt how about where'd you get that great job in wisconsin yes he is awesome yes he is that's that's great to see when you have hey there's a good guy he's from there he's from there but he's a good guy and he is.
He's awesome. Yes, he is.
That's great to see when you have, hey, there's a good guy. He's from there.
He's from there, but he's a good guy, and he's doing a good job, and that's what's awesome. I want to get into Minshew Mania real quick.
You lived through it. Where's your mustache? Well, I can't grow one.
I can't grow one either. Okay, mustache pros.
I can't grow a mustache, but I still love Gardner Minshew. When he was playing, when he got in that first game and you saw the moxie, were you like, did you get excited too? Because I was watching it.
I think I said he makes me want to shoot a flamethrower at a hornet's nest. Yeah, it's crazy.
I think when he got in there, I'm more of like, okay, wait a minute. This has got to be luck.
I mean, that's the truth. Right.
I'm like, this guy, he didn't even take any snaps this week. And Nick, unfortunately, gets hurt the 10th or 11th play of the game.
And he goes in there. Now, he hasn't taken a snap with the game plan.
I would say he didn't perform that well in the preseason for whatever reason, but he just didn't perform that well. And then all of a sudden he gets out there, and all of a sudden you're like, where is this? Okay.
So you're excited at the moment. Then afterwards when you reflect and look at it, you're like, all right, is this just like a one-time deal or what's going on? And then we go and play Houston and then when there's ups and downs in the beginning of the game.
But then all of a sudden in the last two drives, he leads us on scoring drives and almost you know uh comes back and wins the game for us and then you know then he hit a hit a pretty good run then he hit some things of what you would normally see out of a a young quarterback so you know we feel fortunate that we've got you know two quarterbacks and josh dobbs um you know we'll have competition at that position but the one thing i'll say you guys can feel this too, is that just the people of Jacksonville, it's just almost like a cult figure. He's a good culture fit.
You came out of the womb with pinstripes on. He came out with jorts.
A little baby wearing tiny little Oshkosh bagage. And I'm from the Bronx.
I mean, yeah, it's not like I had a suit on and then I came out with pinstripes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
I could never afford, not afford, but, you know, I was always on the Bronx. I mean, yeah, it's not like I had a suit on and then I came out with pinstripes, you know what I'm saying? I can never afford, not afford, but I was always playing and we didn't have a lot of grass in the Bronx, so every sport we played was on concrete, whether it be football or whatever it was.
So I always had rips and everything, so I was a big sweatpants guy. Do you miss Blake at all? I do.
I do. I.
Yeah. I could tell you do.
Yeah. I mean, no, I really do.
I miss all the players. Like, when you have a player that you have a good relationship with and you have a ton of respect for and it's a business decision or it's a performance or whatever it may be.
Business. Yeah.
And that player leaves. You know, you do, like, truly miss those guys, you know, being around.
Right. It's the ones that, you know, show up later, a pain in the ass and things like that.
Then you're like, you can't wait for them to get out the door. You know what I'm saying? You don't miss them at all.
Maybe they show up on time. Blake was a guy, yeah, that did everything that we asked, tried hard, took, he held his head up high, took bullets that he probably shouldn't have taken for others.
And I'll always respect that. I really will.
He's a good person. Oh, he's a great person.
He's one of our favorite people, one of our favorite athletes that we have on the show. I think he misses Jacksonville, too, to be perfectly honest with you.
Yeah. I think it's a great fit for him if you guys ever want.
I think Shad said that you have an embarrassment of riches at quarterback right now. Because of Josh Dobbs.
Yeah, any more embarrassment of riches, I think Blake would be a good person. Oh, yeah.
We can get him coming back, and we can get him in the pool with you guys. I will make the sickest I'm coming home video you've ever seen.
Oh, my God. Yeah, just saying.
I like it. Yeah, that's going to be.
I got chills right now thinking about it. He's Hollywood now, though.
He's got a Tesla. Yeah, he does have a Tesla.
He can't do that. Yeah, he can't.
Well, maybe he's more green. I mean, maybe he's becoming the environment now, which is good.
He did it because he was trying to quit dipping. So if he bought an electric car so he didn't go to the gas station, so he wouldn't buy dip at the gas station.
So now he has someone else go to the gas station. But it's a smart thought now he just parks it was it was hey hey good try yeah don't bring like the sweets into the house and you won't eat them that's like the same with me i've tried quitting all the time then then all of a sudden the stress comes and it comes in now that's what i say isn't it maybe an excuse but all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with reese's and hershey's only one reese's peanut butter loversars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's Protein Bar is made with Reese's Peanut Butter, and only one Hershey's Cookies and Cream Protein Bars is made with Hershey's Cookie Bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar. One Bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.
One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut, and blueberry cobbler. Find all One bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com.
Yeah. I'll hook you up again.
A t-shirt. Can I get get it yes i will have one in my bag over there good

way out them up yes there it is i love it there you go we've had you on it several times but we haven't talked to you about shakespeare yet you're a big shakespeare guy no no no yes you are yeah you are no modest no no when i was in high school you know yeah like all of us you know we had you know, you had English literature and you had a Shakespeare

and my English teacher was my drama teacher. So everyone had to pick a soliloquy to do, you know, so I, I picked Othello, you know, and then I wound up doing it.
And then, but I, I enjoy that play. I don't enjoy all Shakespeare.
So, but Othello, I i i really enjoyed and for many reasons and what happened was so um i was obviously i i i did something in class and then the drama teacher said you know because i needed to get eligible for college so i need an a in my english lit and you know i had drama and she's like hey if you come out to the play you know maybe i'll get you you know you'll be able to earn an a yep you know and i'm like okay my back then we didn't have a clearinghouse but i'm thinking okay my gpa will be this i'd only need this on the test court you know i mean i'm going that's that's legit serious so you know i went up there and i did that and uh first play i was in i played vince fontaine in greece uh that was the first play. Did some dancing and things like that.
Did you sing? Not in the first one. Now, in the second one, I went out for the lead, and I played Stephen Douglas in Damn Yankees.
So I had the lead where I had to sing, and I had to, you know, there was more singing in that one, not as much dancing. But it was tough because they had to rewrite the music for my my vocals and a lot of the people that were in that drama club wound up doing stuff on broadway off broadway we had uh the girl that was with us a little bit younger than me she was the lead in tina and tony's wedding you know saying that was on on broadway or off broadway so uh we had it was pretty big we'd get about 1500,500 people a night that would come to it.

Damn.

So that's how it started.

So what happened was she was such a good influence for me, my English teacher,

Phyllis Preston.

She lives in Connecticut.

So every now and then I would call her because I'm always one of those guys like

I am where I am today because of a lot of the people that were in my life when I was younger.

You know, my teachers, my coaches, people that, you know, kept me from making poor decisions

even though I made some poor decisions.

So what happens, I'd call her up and she's like, hey, how's it going?

And I'd always, I'd throw the soliloquy out at her and then she would cry.

Ooh.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay.

And she's like, I can't believe you remember that and all that.

And I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'm never going to forget it, you know?

Thank you. I'd always throw the soliloquy out at her, and then she would cry.
You know what I'm saying?

And she's like, I can't believe you remember that and all that.

And I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'm never going to forget it.

Because you want to do a good job, and you practice it.

But I think, so people have asked me stuff like that,

and I've wound up repeating some of it,

and then everyone thinks I'm this big desbian,

which I probably, I might think. I don't know.

Maybe it's undercover.

No judgment.

Wait, so do a little. Do you have a line or two yeah uh touch me not so near yet i persuade myself to speak the truth i'd rather this tongue cut from my throat than do offense to michael cascio oh yeah i could stick up for your guy michael cascio yeah yeah stand-up guy i so it sounds like your high school life was the plot of glee i've've never seen the show, but I assume that it's about...
My high school right now has the second worst graduation rate. They almost shut it down.
That's a good way to stop that. I was like the first school that probably had a metal detector back in the 70s.
We had to come. It was one way in, one way out.
The doors had guards. They had two roaming patrols.
That's where I was fortunate. We had a security guard and football coaches that let us in the back that kept us out of a lot of trouble.
And, I mean, you would just keep your head down. I think the claim to fame from my high school is obviously I went there.
Bobby Bonilla was older than me. And now Cardi B went to my high school.
Do you know her? Nice. Yeah.
Do you know Cardi? No, but I'm dying to meet her because we have something in common. We went to the same high school.
We'd be very funny together. Yeah, I don't know.
Have you guys met her? No. No, it's my bucket list, really.
Yeah, but she went to Lehman. She's got to be cool.
She's got to be cool. It's like Jennifer Lopez was from Castle Hill.
She went to Preston. Yeah, Preston is on the East Bronx where I'm from, so that's like right down the road.
So if you go to the Wikipedia page for your high school, it's like Doug Marone, Bobby Bonilla, Cardi B. Does it? I don't know.
You don't even need a fourth in that. All you have to do is like, I don't know if, I don't want to, you know, you don't want me, I don't want a notable.
First of all, we had a plaque in our gym. It said like distinguished graduates.
And it was blank. When I was there, when I was going.
I used to look up to it and go, I wonder if I'll ever be on that plaque. That's a great – you should use that for the Jaguars next year.
You should be like, you know, captains, blank. Earn it.
Or, you know, notable performances, blank. Earn it.
Or just like 2020 captains and it's just a mirror. Yeah.
When the players walk by, they see themselves in there. Uh-huh.
Like, that could could be me uh-huh seriously that is it i'm not i'm not bullshitting you that's a good thought yeah yeah but now there's so many people i hear this if i do it can i just put courtesy of you on it yeah yeah i know that's i'm only licensing this idea to the jaguars yes who they got who else we got and it's only twenty thousand dollars a year Notable alumni, Bobby Bonilla, Doug Marone, TJ Rivera, my friend Desus Nice, Cardi B, Monet Exchange. I think that's Money Exchange.
Larry Lawton, the Jewel Thief. Larry and I grew up together.
You knew Larry Lawton, the Jewel Thief? No, no, no. We grew up together.
I'm talking about we were friends growing up. No way.
Did you ever get involved in this heist? He called me up a while ago and wanted to come and speak to the team. He's all tatted up from prison.
I'm like, I don't know if this is a good... Could you tell Fugazi? Could you tell Fugazi? That watch was Fugazi.
Donnie Brasco. I watched it the other day.
Could you tell Fugazi? With Larry the Jewel Thief? No. Okay.
I always say the guys I grew up with, I grew up with, you know, Michael K. is good friends with Larry.
We all grew up together. Larry grew up together.
Larry's sister, I mean, family was awesome. I never saw it coming.
But then I read his book because I had to read the book, you know. And it's true.
I mean, that's how it started. It started out with the little betting sheets, you know, that he'd get and divvy out.
We all did it. You know, you pick all the teams, you give them five bucks and see.
But, you know, then he went into the Coast Guard and then I went to college and I kind of lost touch with everyone. Yeah.
So is it true? Because I remember it was at the start of the season, got into a little sideline dust up with Jalen Ramsey and our diana rossini tweeted out that you could beat him up because you're from the bronx and her family knows your family is it true that any family from the bronx could beat up anybody because that's how we've been including professional athletes yeah we've been operating growing up the thing was like you know like i grew up like a lot of kids you know like you know i was a little kid i got beat up and i went crying. Crying again is a dream.
I went home crying. Both my parents worked with my grandmother there, and I said, oh, that kid's picking on me.
He beat me up. My grandmother just turned me around and said, you're going back out there and fighting him.
I was like, I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go.
I went out, got my ass kicked again. You know what I'm saying? But it teaches you that you're never going to give up or that that toughness but you know obviously we don't you know i think we're in a different day and age we don't we don't want to promote any type of violence right in the locker room on the field or whatever we do but um we may not win but we definitely know enough people that can get you okay yeah like your grandmother was like don king just setting up fights yeah at it.
Yeah, there you go. You've got a great fight for everyone.
I always say, I say, you know, being from the Bronx is something that, hey, you know, if something ever happens and something gets kicked out on a technicality and court or something, hey, you probably know enough people that take care of it for you. Yep.
All right, I got one last question. Seek, eat question, promo code take, put it in.
You get $10 off. Go to the Jags game next year.
Go to the game in London. You've got two games in London.
We're at the Combine. What is your favorite question to ask guys when you get to sit with them? For me, it's who's been before college, who influenced you in football? I think it's important So for me, I want to know whether it's been either from family or other people or what was the origin of how this player got involved with football.
I want to know the genesis of how it all started for him. I think for me, because it helps me later on that, you know, if it's a relationship with a coach or something from the family, it's something for me to fall back on, you know, when, you know, you start doubting, you know, whether, you know, or starting to become too much of a business.
I try to remind them of, you know, the origin of why they started it and how they love so i try to use that you know throughout my time with that player and i also share um not with the players that ask that question but i do share that with the team quite a bit what if the answer is like i just wanted to get laid no i don't think that i think it's like i can tell you my story i always wanted to play baseball and i was just too big and fat to be on a bunch of football teams so then all of a sudden, you get to a point where in high school, it doesn't matter how fat and big you are, you can play football.

And then I just happened to be better in football than I was in baseball.

But if I had my choice, I would have played baseball. I feel like a lot of people of your size in high school, you hear it from everyone, just like, hey, why don't you play football?

If you're not actually on the football team, literally everybody in your life is like, why aren't you a football player? It's like David Baker, the Pro Football Hall of Fame president. He was a big dude.
He was too big to play football. Yeah, when he was younger? Yeah.
400 pounds, 6'9". Like a lot of us, yeah.
I started playing football to get laid, but I was a kicker, so it kind of backfired on me. See, I can tell you know, when you're a lineman and you're fat, I think nothing happened to guys like me.
Right. You guys are thinking like, you know, the quarterback.
Right, yeah. You know what I'm saying? You gotta, like, you know, I think, you know, the people now, I think, you know, I think the hockey players have got a good role going.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you look at, right, the hockey players, yeah.
Up in like the Syracuse area, upstate New York, if you're the captain of the hockey team, that is like the equivalent of being the quarterback. And they're all like regular dudes who are kind of unassuming.
Boston College and Northeastern and BU. Yeah.
Hockey players can, even guys in the NHL, they can go to dinner and not be bothered most places. I mean, look at most of the country music stars, right? Because they wear the big hats.
A lot of people are playing hockey players. Yeah.
That's true. What do you think? Do you think you you've changed now? No.
You think you should have played hockey? No absolutely not. You would have been a hell of a hockey player.
I got very bad equilibrium bad balance. I'm a clumsy I can't even walk without falling down.
Really? I can't skate. I was a really good rollerblader.
No big deal. I was a really good rollerblader.
That's a pretty sick rollerblader. Sick rollerblader.
That's pretty good. Like, that gold member? Like, were you a part of that? No, I was sick at rollerblading.
I wasn't good at ice skating, but I was a really good rollerblader. I'd be like seven feet if I had, like, you know, roller skates.
That's actually, I might get back into blading now. You get that extra, like, four inches on the bottom of your skate.
Exactly. Okay.
You got to be careful. You don't want people like, you know, Adam Sandler throwing sticks at you when you're rolling and taking dives.
I have one last question, then we'll let you go. It is a combine.
be careful. You don't want people like, you know, Adam Sandler throwing sticks at you when you're Yeah, true.
Taking dives. I have one last question, then we'll let you go.
It is a combine, as Big Cat said. You're doing these interviews.
When we sat down with you in Jacksonville, we asked you, how can you tell if there is a presence of grit on the practice field? You said that you can hear it in training camp. Yep.
How do you tell if a prospect has grit if you're not able to, like, hear him running into people? Sure. I – like one of the questions was like when you go to these all-star games, that's why it's good to be on the field because you can kind of hear that or feel that power.
You're not going to be able to do that when you're watching film, right, when you're watching these players when they perform. So what I always look for is are they finishing the play, that echo of the whistle where, you know, is he smart enough to know when not to draw a penalty, you know what I'm saying? And you know what, if it's a certain type of penalty, I don't hold that against players.
I remember, I give an example, Jari Evans, who I had in New Orleans, who was a great player, you know, he went to Bloomsburg, you know, and one of the things that was so impressive, that he finished every single play, and he just wanted to put his guy on the ground. And you can see it, and that's what he strived for.
Did he do it all the time? No. Of course not.
But, that's what he always wanted to do, and that he carried that same type of mentality over into the league, and was very successful. Those players, to me, that have that type of mentality, a finished type of mentality that you see that extra effort or that echo to the whistle.
I think that that helps carry over into the grit part of the physical part of it. Love it.
Play through the Ian whistle, the echo of the Ian whistle. Yes.
Ian whistle. All right.
Well, coach, thank you very much for joining us as always also uh i'm happy that you have your job still i appreciate yeah a lot of people have said that that's kind of annoying why i don't know you're walking around like hey i'm glad that you're back i actually started with the hashtag fire doug moron i know i mean i'm glad you know i'm like you know i'm walking around the other day and i say to myself i I'm getting tired of this shit. Well, you were dead.

You were dead.

That report, you were dead.

According to, I didn't feel that way.

Right.

I'm as alive as ever.

Right.

But we're happy.

We're very happy.

We're happy to see you.

We're happy to see you.

We're not happy that you still have a job.

Yeah.

Wait, or do you want us to be happy that you had a job?

Okay, we're crying now.

We're all crying together.

I hope you get fired soon.

Okay?

Yeah. I hope you don't even make it through the next season use that as motivation all right feel free to use a mirror idea though that's a good one like no seriously i do like that idea okay let's get some segments first up we have coronavirus updates uh it's bad and now it's affecting sports no it's not bad it's not bad it's not bad it's a bitch little disease i still i i agree hank we called it out as being a fraud being overrated last week i'm not i'm not changing that up just because it's won a couple it's you know won a couple out of conference games uh not in prime time yet i'm not convinced about this corona thing i'll take coronavirus to the face right now i smoked smoked a little weed this weekend and was reading up on it.
Got really scared. Thought the whole world was going to end.
Was a full believer in the coronavirus. And then basically, I've been following it the last three days, and the global death toll has just remained the same, more or less.
Yeah, it's nothing. So it's war above other viruses.
It's WAV is like .001 right now.

We are worried, though, about sports, right?

There's people saying they're happy.

It's like one of those things where the Masters are like,

we're having conversations, but conversations they have to get ready for.

But if there's so much money involved, I would be stunned. Well, Leroy is the number one dealer in hysteria.

That's true.

Both viruses and Eli Manning news. Leroy knows what gets clicks.
And that's death and Mannings. And in this case, every league is taking precautions right now.
We've had conversations about what will happen in the office if coronavirus happens. That doesn't mean we think it's going to happen.
So they are considering the NCAA tournament is definitely considering playing the games in front of no fans and just media members, which would be hilarious. It would ruin it.
Just have the media and it would be much better than having no tournament at all. Yeah, that's true.
But is Leroy reporting that? He's reporting that it's under consideration. Everything is being taken out.
Don't have him report bad news that bums us out. Well, he said he takes no pleasure in reporting it.
I mean, that's like... His tail was not wagging when he smashed that tweet button.
That's really bad. He can't have that.
He was whining. He was like, hmm.
That can't happen. Yeah, it's bad.
So it definitely won't happen. I'm saying.
I'm saying it won't happen. But it would be pretty hilarious if there were no fans and just journalists.
No. That would not be hilarious.
That would be terrible. There should be one fan per team.
That's not hilarious. That would suck.
It should just be Bill Murray in the audience. It would suck so, so bad.
So, so bad. That can't happen.
Cannot happen. There's somebody in the office right now that's sick.
I'm not going to name names. Cannot happen.
But somebody's very sick. You're addicted to Corona.
In this office right now. You are addicted to Coronavirus.
Hank brought it up. You brought it up right when you came in today.
You're like, hey, you hear about... You literally just brought it up.
Yeah, you just brought it up and then you also came in today like, hey, hear about Nate? He's got Corona. Yeah.
You're addicted to Coronavirus. I'd like people to take precautions.
And talking about it. It was a...
The glee on your face was not precautionary. Oh, I had no g my face you were like yeah you hear about that no i was just making sure that everybody stayed safe and now you're going to cancel the ncaa tournament i'm not canceling personally or you just said you wanted to cancel i'm reporting conversations that already have occurred amongst the ncaa because if there's one thing funny if there's one thing the ncaa hates more than not paying people, it's being able to get sued later on.
Exposing themselves to legal liability. I would sue them.
I'd class action lawsuit the fuck out of there. Why don't we just start saying that we're going to sue the NCAA if they do cancel the tournament? Rob me of enjoyment.
Yeah. I will absolutely be in a class action lawsuit.
The most dangerous dangerous part of the coronavirus is not the illness it's what it's doing to people's brains making them afraid of the illness and making them do stuff like cancel our best reason to skip work right the entire year right right okay so fuck the coronavirus although i do respect it i don't because i don't want i don't want it to be you got to respect it otherwise it's going to walk

all over you. I don't respect things that don't respect me.

Okay. We have

a spin zone. All time spin zone.

Throwback spin zone. Bill Clinton

said today or maybe it was

yesterday that he

received oral sex in the

White House because it

was managing his anxiety.

Yeah. Well he doesn't inhale when he smokes so he's got to figure out a way to managing his anxiety.
Yeah. Well, he doesn't

inhale when he smokes, so he's got to figure out a way

to get his rocks off somehow.

I like that Bill Clinton is like,

he walked outside

in 2020, took a look around

and was like, mental

health is kind of buzzing

right now. Guys can talk about this.

He saw Tyson cry and he's like, you know what?

Yeah, I got sucked off

because I was anxious.

That's it. Listen, he missed the boat on the whole sex addiction thing yeah but what can you say you can't be like well that's bullshit and be like well oh i'm sorry can guys not talk about their feelings now yeah that's true i think that bill clinton just should have come out like 10 years ago and been like i was horny as hell yeah listen i was a horny guy i mean that's.
Well, I mean, that goes without saying. Just look at him and you're like, all right, that's a horny guy.
No excuses. I was horny.
He's also getting that weird thing that happens with older people where he's like losing weight, but his head is still the same size. So he looks like a bobblehead now.
Well, he went vegan. Oh.
Yeah. So he's not going to be able to recover from injury as quickly anymore.
Jesus Christ. But yeah, he went vegan, lost a lot of weight.
He's got the whole gillette thing going on with his body it's so weird when that happens when it's like their body just goes away it's like yeah that's just old age and you just got a fucking big head sitting on a tiny neck it looks like the uh the crypt keeper's dick yeah fuck he could get it sucked off for the anxiety uh we have a he also said about monica he said uh over the years i've watched her trying to get a normal life back again but you've got to define you've got to decide how to define normal uh so he's he's issuing like a non-apology apology to a woman whose life he ruined at least you could do bill is be like hey monica linski great therapist she really helped me with my Right. I didn't feel anxious for about 30 minutes

after Monica and I would have our sessions.

Alright. We have a dramatic

reading of LeBron James

caption. So who do you

which one do you want to take?

The LeBron or the LeBron? I can be

LeBron. Alright.
You be LeBron. I'll be LeBron.

Okay. This is his caption of him hitting

that three point shot against the Pelicans.

Me. I bet you won't.
Me. Man.
Who you talking to? Me. I'm talking to you.
Parentheses. I bet you won't.
In parentheses. Me.
Man. You must not know me well.
Scenes. So that went through LeBron James' head right before he buried that three against the Pelicans.
He doesn't know himself. He doesn't.
Damn. Sounds like he's schizophrenic.
Is that a symptom of alcoholism? The kid from Akron, James Gang, the man in the arena, washed king, revenge season. He is schizophrenic.
He does have split personalities when he's on offense. He tries, and then when he's on defense, he doesn't.
I love the internet, too, because the first response is, Curry inspired you to shoot that far hundred. How many times did Dame and Steph Curry do that to you? Just saying, what's the celebration about? It's fucking great.
I do like what happens to LeBron's brain when he sees Zion on the court. Yes.
Like, he gets in playoff mode a little bit. Mm-hmm.
He's like this young buck. He's got to defend his territory.
Yeah, right. Right.
Two big young bucks. All right.
Let's finish up. We have FAQs to finish up your Fri-yay conference tournament week next week.
By the way, little PSA for everyone there. This weekend, senior night, senior day everywhere.
Be wary of the 5'10 white kid coming in and just jacking threes when your team's up 15 for point spreads. That actually happened.
Wisconsin did it last night. They brought in a dude.
That's like everybody on Wisconsin's team. Yeah, but he was a little bit shorter.
Five, nine and a half white guy. They were up 13 and no reason to shoot, and he had a layup and they covered the spread.
Love it. Wasn't there also a mascot that just passed away? No.
Butler changed the guards. Yeah, Blue is now Blue 3 or something.
BU. BU's real-life Terrier mascot, Rhett, passed away yesterday.
Unfortunately, we are spoken for in that conference. So, catamounts.
I'm just saying. Very cool.
Rhett, RIP. No, catamounts.
Very cool. He had a heart condition.
Catamounts. I think that just means he was old.
Very cool. Catamounts.
Have Stella and Leroy ever met? Yes. If so.
We've answered this before. Could she be considered one of his many unnamed sources? She does talk a lot.
Yeah, I don't think that Stella would share any information with Leroy, though. Stella is a Stella.
Stella looks out for number one. Stella is a badass bitch.
She looks down on the potentially fake news reporting. She doesn't like news in general.
She makes the news. I don't know if that even makes sense.
So you are a girl dad with Stella. Yeah.
Hashtag girl dad. That's me.
Cool. What are Stella and Leroy's favorite treats? Oh, that's a good question.
I take a peanut butter. And then you unzip.
Then I put it on her nose and she licks it off. It's very cute.
It's cute. It's very cute.
Leroy likes the corner deli lady because whenever she sees him, she just gives him meat. And now she works only one day a week.
But every time we walk past that goddamn deli, Leroy just puts it. Oh, yeah.
I can't make a move. He's too big to drag along.
Goldfish and pirates booty. Goldfish for the crunch.
What's up, guys? Especially Wide Dog. PFT, how many dresses did you look at before you found one that fit your figure so well and did anyone end up coming up to you from behind at the wedding thinking you were a girl? There were three dresses that were all brought there by the bridesmaid so I didn't actually go dress shopping.
I forgot to do that until the morning of. So they just gave me the dresses.
I tried them on and I wanted mostly Dana and Kara to give me the nod of approval because it was their day right but what i did find with the dress is that i got a lot of attention from the opposite sex nice way more than i normally would so uh that's kind of like a life hack right there is if you is it yeah i mean stress and dresses all in a while. Yeah.
For fun. For fun.
When someone dares you to do it. Right.
Dad Cat, out of all the recurring guests, who would you ask to be Small Cat's godparent? Do you think they would actually be willing? Oh, Mark Cuban. He's the richest.
Smart. Yeah.
So if anything happens to you, you know little boy's going to be taken care of. Maybe Blake Bortles.
I feel like he would be.

Jared Goff actually would be good, like responsible.

Jared's like more responsible Blake.

You're just naming the richest people that we have.

Well, I mean, there's been a lot of rich people.

All right.

So you want me to name someone?

Gary Busey?

No.

No.

Not Gary Busey.

Why not?

Absolutely not Gary Busey.

Maybe Bill Walton. Just let him fucking become Busey.
Why not? Absolutely not Gary Busey. Maybe Bill Walton.

Just let him fucking become a deadhead.

Why not?

All right.

I've been wondering, what's the social etiquette with handicapped bathroom stalls, and what

situation is or isn't it the fair game?

I've always lived to the mindset that just go for it if you're going to be quick.

If it's not a full bathroom, might as well use it.

Yeah, I don't.

I mean, if you're going to be quick.

If it's not a full bathroom, might as well use it.

Yeah, I don't.

I mean, if you're just holding up the handicap bathroom. You can't use a handicap bathroom at a sporting event.

Well, there's a difference.

The handicap stall, I feel like, is different than the ones that are just a solo handicap bathroom.

Don't ever go in those. But if there's a handicap stall in the regular bathroom that's fair game agreed all right we'll end with this one uh what's up wide dog and mr 35 years of age wow oh that was a plot twist i'm a 26 year old man and i recently discovered my phenomenal ski ball abilities i found out because i went to my nephew's birthday party at chucky cheese and I'm officially addicted to the point where I spend my Friday nights doing so.
Do you have any advice to knock this bizarre hobby? I need to save money and gamble, not play skee-ball. Yeah, I would find a girlfriend.
I would just keep being awesome at skee-ball. That's sick that you found something that you're awesome at.
Skee-ball doesn't give you enough tickets though. What do that's true here's what you need to do if you're awesome at it maybe okay so fair enough but at chuck e cheese they don't give you as many tickets as they would at busters you got to go to so you got to upgrade first of all upgrade your entire system to busters yep go there then they they pay you like a king with all the tickets that you're going to get and you're going to be able to get like three tech deck skateboards instead of just two at the end of the day.
And girls love Busters. It's true.
All girls love Busters. That's just a fact.
Always an awesome ratio at Busters. Yeah.
All right. That's our show.
Monday, who are we going to run? Let's talk about it right now. I like the interview that we did today, actually.
Today, we interviewed Craig Ber berube the head coach of the st louis blues

we have damon john too which was a great interview we should get rabel interesting we got a lot of

choices we should get a uh like a dockage or a mark titus if you can watch his mouth on this

episode mark titus is not i was talking to mark titus last night he was going to come in for the

big east uh tournament coronavirus can't travel. He got it?

No. Oh.

Yeah, report that.

Mark Titus, question.

We already report that.

Cut that right there. Yes.

Mark Titus, coronavirus. Love you guys.
I don't know what to say. I'll take it away.
Today's another day to find you.

I'll be coming for your love again.

Take me on. Take on me Take on me Take on me There's a needless to say I'm all standing But I need some little weight So they're learning that life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry Say goodbye Thank you.
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, Take me out. Take me out.
Take me out me all the way

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports