Jay Gruden, Viral Sensation Thomas "Snacks" Lee And We Have An Idea

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Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com. On today's part of my take, we have Jay Gruden on the show, former Washington Redskins head coach, now offensive coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Speaker 1 Betty wishes he had Blake Portals, but he has Gardner Minshew instead. We also have viral sensation snacks.
You saw them. Jackson State Phenom.

Speaker 1 Whap that three on Monday night. Went viral.
Awesome dude. Talked to him for about five, ten minutes about going viral overnight and being an awesome basketball player.

Speaker 1 We have our usual Tom Brady update. We have Hot Sea Cool Trone.
We have Guys on Chicks. What? Don't know.

Speaker 1 I told you it's going to be part of the show. It's in the news every day.
Every day. Before we do all that, though, part of my take is brought to you.

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Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, March 4th, and I have an idea, PFT. Uh-oh.
I have an idea. Are you ready for this idea? All great things start with those three words.
I have an idea, PFT. Four words.
Three. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have an idea.

Speaker 1 An idea is not words. An idea is action.
It is. Okay, so here's my idea.
Have you guys seen this

Speaker 1 smoothie? We talked about it briefly on Sunday, the Ben Barton. Of course, the Gatorade and everything.

Speaker 1 Everyone in the media is drinking it. Everyone's being like, oh, it's crazy.
Not us. We're taking a suppository.

Speaker 1 This is similar to the Michael Phelps 20,000 calorie meal or whatever that everyone's like, I'm going to try this.

Speaker 1 We need to find a recurring guest who is a current athlete and figure out a way for them to plant in the media a completely disgusting thing that they eat as training and see how many people we can get to drink.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it'll be Joe Burrow and it'll be Skyline Chili. He can't say it on the show, though.
He's got to say it to regular media.

Speaker 1 So he's got to be like, hey, yeah, I've actually been getting in great shape.

Speaker 1 I've been using a smoothie maker with Skyline Chili, four eggs, a scoop of tapioca pudding, a scoop of tapioca pudding, three ice cubes, but the ice cubes are in the

Speaker 1 freezer where the fridge has some stinky cheese. So you got a little bit of the taste of that.

Speaker 1 Worcestershire sauce.

Speaker 1 16 fire ants.

Speaker 1 day.

Speaker 1 We don't want to. Shout out, Arrowwood.
Yep, we're going to just throw those in there, give you the strength.

Speaker 1 What else can we put in there? Vegetarian beef. Vegetarian beef.
And the real beef from Skyline. And the real beef from Skyline.
Maybe a little Lysol because of the coronavirus.

Speaker 1 And top it off with just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms. And a Bud Light Seltzer.
And you zap that up. You've been drinking it every day.
And look, mom, I'm the number one pick in the NFL.

Speaker 1 And see how many people, how many idiots we can get to drink this stupid concoction. I do.
Do you like that idea? Yeah, I do like that idea. That's pretty good.
I would actually try that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm so dumb that we're creating a drink to put into the media to trick other people into drinking it because it's so disgusting.

Speaker 1 And I'm sitting over here thinking, like, yeah, I kind of want to try that. Well, I want to get it.
I want to find out what the big Joe Burrow secret is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it dawned on me after I saw like the sixth video of someone trying it. It was like,

Speaker 1 we could get anyone to do this. It's kind of like our botched attempt where I used MO, I thought M.O.

Speaker 1 was Montana, not Missouri, and we were going to create a fake Twitter account for a minor league hockey team and a menu item that Ravel would have to tweet about that was just a piece of dog shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That one

Speaker 1 was fucked up. Wrong state that happens a lot.
It was an uncomfortable

Speaker 1 to tweet a picture of dog shit. Yes.
In any way. Create a fake team, cultivate that.
No, no, for years. Tell you what, we'll leave it up to you.

Speaker 1 However, you want to get Darren Revell to tweet a picture of dog shit. Do it.
And if you do that, Hank will send you one part of my take shirt. Fact.

Speaker 1 All right, so that was, I just had that idea. It just popped in my head because I was scrolling through Twitter.

Speaker 1 There wasn't a lot going on the last two days.

Speaker 1 I have an experiment. Oh, yeah.
We can get into my experiment right now.

Speaker 1 So my D.C. defenders are home again this weekend where we defend.

Speaker 1 The only place you can win. We defend Audi Field.
That's our fucking stadium.

Speaker 1 I saw you were

Speaker 1 not to really bring down the mood, but you were eight in Renegade Jim's power rankings. Well, Brittany, he just did that to get her nice skin.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, I saw the only power rankings I read, the D.C. Defenders were the worst team in the X-And.
Well, okay, the D.C. Defenders aren't even, or the

Speaker 1 Guardians. Wait, which one's the Guardians again? New York.
New York Guardians.

Speaker 1 They stink.

Speaker 1 The Dallas Renegades aren't even the best team in their state. Well, much less lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you lost the Vipers. Yeah, it's fine.
The Vipers.

Speaker 1 Dude, it was an aberration on the road.

Speaker 1 Dallas lost to Houston. They're ipso facto, they're the worst team in their state.
Okay, so what's the experiment?

Speaker 1 So the experiment is: coach Pep Hamilton, my coach, coach for life, he said that he wants to get the Cup Snake going again this weekend. The D.C.
defenders have embraced

Speaker 1 it from cricket. Yeah, it's been around from rugby.

Speaker 1 Cup snakes have been around for decades. So the D.C.
defenders.

Speaker 1 DC Defenders are absolutely embracing it. And what they've said is

Speaker 1 Pep said that he wants to get the cupsnake going again this weekend. I'm challenging DC Defenders fans to get a cup snake that goes around the entire stadium.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I want to see how long, how many beers it would take. Fellas, how many beers.
Do you have a cup? You have cups.

Speaker 1 I've got solo cups here.

Speaker 1 You're just going to measure it? One of these stacks is 32 cups. Okay.

Speaker 1 So let me get some. some.
So this experiment is just measuring cups. Yeah, it's a science experiment.
Okay. So we're going to

Speaker 1 measure this cup. When does the baking soda come in? We're not doing a volcano.
Where did you get that tape measure? All right, this is 12. Yeah, where did you get that? That's a foot.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Wow.
Also,

Speaker 1 it might be a little bit more because when there's liquid in the cups, it will give a little bounce. A little separation.
Yeah. So we're going to say it's 13 inches.
Perfect. 14 inches.
14 inches.

Speaker 1 14 inches for 32 cups. Okay.
So now we have to figure out how many times

Speaker 1 This isn't a science experiment. You're just making us do math.
Yeah, science experiments. Fuck this.
Science experiment. I'm not doing the math.
So there's 14 inches in 32 cups.

Speaker 1 How about every beers?

Speaker 1 Cup snake.

Speaker 1 Ken brings 32 cups. You can't bring cups into the game.
Why not? I don't know. It feels like that's cheating.
I feel like there's no rules.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's figure out how many cups are, how many cups there need to be in this thing. Again, you're just making me do math.
14 inches for 32 cups.

Speaker 1 Refuse to do this math. I did the back of the napkin math.
Okay, good. So you don't have to.
I'm estimating about 15,000 cups to go around the entire stadium.

Speaker 1 So every person has to drink like seven beers.

Speaker 1 So everyone needs to drink one beer.

Speaker 1 If everyone can drink one beer. All 400 of you got to drink seven beers.

Speaker 1 You're showing your ignorance that you haven't been to a game at Audi Field yet. Yeah.
Ground zero for home field vantage in the XFL. Okay.
So I think that they can do it.

Speaker 1 At the very least, they can break the world record, which as most as I can tell, is 100 yards at a cricket game that was delayed two hours for Lightning.

Speaker 1 So what does this have to do with the on-field experience for Cardell Jones not being the worst quarterback in the XFL? It just has maybe, you know,

Speaker 1 you get the atmosphere going.

Speaker 1 If all the eyes are in the stands, then maybe Cardell will play with a little bit less nerves. Ooh, how about this?

Speaker 1 Instead of everyone bringing their own cup, everyone bring their own laser pointer and just shoot it in the eyes of the opposing quarterback. Yeah, the Battle Hawks,

Speaker 1 do that. Yeah, or maybe if you get drunk enough, then Cardell Jones will look good at quarterback again.
That also works. Boom.
Yeah. Win-win-win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or just pop in the Ohio State winning the national title. And just remember when he was good at quarterback.
Or Tyree Jackson. You can pop him in.
Yeah, pop him in.

Speaker 1 All right, so are you going? I don't think so. Okay.
But it's going to happen. It's going to happen.
We're going to get the Cupsnake going right now. I'm happy that Pep Hamilton is focusing on this.

Speaker 1 I might go. Pep Hamilton's focusing on Cupsnakes not

Speaker 1 Camp Jones being good. He's keeping the boys loose out there.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 Okay, the other story we we had. We have two other stories we've got to get to before we get to Hot Seat, Cool Throw.
And then we have Snacks and Jay Grudenon.

Speaker 1 These are actually both stories for Hank.

Speaker 1 So keep it calm. Coach K, with an all-time move, I'm actually going to compliment Coach K because this was like the look at my thumb, G, you're dumb way of like grade school bullying.

Speaker 1 He said after the game,

Speaker 1 look at my thumb, and then you slap him. He said, G, you're dumb.
I've never heard of that before. Yeah, it's a little trick.

Speaker 1 I never got bullied.

Speaker 1 Or, like, yeah, put your hand, if your hand's bigger than your face, then you're gonna be free. Then you're slap.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 then you're gonna get, you know, sick and die, and then you slap them in the face. I just used to hit people in the balls.
That too. That works too.
What's the capital of Thailand?

Speaker 1 Thailand, actually.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I just kicked the bench. I was trying to reach you.

Speaker 1 I've grossly underestimated how far away you are.

Speaker 1 You thought that your legs were like, Don't see him from Street Fighter? No, you're trying to hit me from over there?

Speaker 1 So he did the look at your thumb, gee, you're dumb, because he said, don't criticize the players directed at me.

Speaker 1 And then he said, oh, when you question my coaching, come into Cameron and look up at the ceiling, see if you should do that. What does he have, like journalists that are hanging from the rafters?

Speaker 1 I love that. I love that, though.
Like, hey, don't come at my guys. Bring it all at me.

Speaker 1 And then when you do bring it at me, make sure you take a little look-see upstairs and see all those fucking banners flying around in Cameron. So, credit to Coach K.

Speaker 1 He, I think we're going to get into very soon, if we're not there already, like the ornary,

Speaker 1 like super angry at the media, just mad all the time, Coach K. Senile.
We're entering. He's already there.
Yeah, no, but he's going to fully get into it.

Speaker 1 And he's always had like a little bit of that in him. He was just very good at directing it mostly towards referees and officials.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then after the games, he would kind of like bite his tongue and pretend to be very friendly with the media.

Speaker 1 Sooner than later, we're going to see him on the sidelines, and he's going to have like the Jim Boheim piss thing going on.

Speaker 1 but with Coach K it's just gonna be because he's angry and old He have nothing to do with medical issues There is an element though when you get up and age where you just the filter is gone and I think he's gonna slowly lose the filter maybe we're watching right now with Joe Biden like the filter's gone the filter when the filter goes he'll say whatever comes in his mind so I think I'm gonna enjoy the Twilight phase of Coach K having no filter and finally saying shit that he really has wanted to say for a very long time yeah I don't know what's wrong with any of that everything he's no I like it It was a power move.

Speaker 1 It's similar to like the Tomizzo thing where everyone was getting mad at him for like coaching his players. And the players are like, I like that.
You need that in a coach.

Speaker 1 Listen, Coach K is like, you want to be the best. You want to be number one.
You got to talk like number one. I'm the most unbiased Duke hater out there.

Speaker 1 I will tell you absolutely that I hate Duke no matter what. Everything they do, I will spin into.
I hate Duke. While also saying it's Duke's year.

Speaker 1 While also saying it's Duke's year, because it always is.

Speaker 1 I thought that was a funny move. I thought that was a funny move by Coach K.
Because you can't win. You can't get past him when he brings it.
It's another one of those little Kleif Klessens. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They start with K's. It's a trapdoor.
Yeah, exactly. He's like, no, talk to me.
I'm the coach. Don't talk to these kids.
Oh, guess what, you motherfucker? How come I've won all these titles?

Speaker 1 These rings. And you haven't.
He open hand slaps the reporter with all his rings. Like, how do you like that? Speaking of Joe Biden, I figured out how to fix voter turnout.
Oh, yeah?

Speaker 1 Yeah, just on the I voted stickers, put little supreme labels on them. Bubble would be first in line.
Bubble would vote in six states. That's pretty good.
If you got a Supreme I voted sticker.

Speaker 1 That is pretty good. That is pretty good.
Because people also, like, for the Instagram, it would be look even cooler. Hell yeah.
Yeah. Or just like...

Speaker 1 The zip ties, the off-white zip ties,

Speaker 1 or the zip tie on the end of them. That would be cool.
What do you mean, just like, just like arrest people and force them to vote? No, just put a zip tie on the sticker. Yeah.
Oh, I got you.

Speaker 1 Like, like Brooks Kapka. Yeah.
It's Maddie. Based in Oregon, Beaverton, Oregon.
And everyone's like, oh, man, where'd you get that?

Speaker 1 Or just promise Jordans at every single one and have it be like, but have it be how the real Jordans are released, and only one in 5,000 million people get it.

Speaker 1 If you made a sneakers app for like getting to be able to register to vote, then it would be like.

Speaker 1 But then it'd be like, oh, sick. When you won, you'd think, that's crazy.
I just won this voter registration. Yeah, yeah.
And then you really want to use it.

Speaker 1 But no one would get it because the sneakers are not going to be a vote. No, but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I swear to God. But you use it.
It's a shame. And people that have used it and been conditioning, like it's been conditioning people to always lose.
at being able to buy the sneakers, right?

Speaker 1 So when you win the voting one, you're like, I finally won. Sick.
That's the only thing. No sneakers.
It's the only thing you can win on the sneakers app. I swear to God, that sneakers app.

Speaker 1 I would love to meet someone who actually won one. I've won one, and like, you know how many shoes I have.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 It felt like the biggest win of my life. And I've probably lost like hundreds.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I answer every single one.

Speaker 1 Hundreds. I have times I've tried.
I swear to God. When you lose, do you have to pay anything? No.
No. They just send you an email or they send you an alert being like, you lost.
Call me again.

Speaker 1 Loser. Fucking loser.
And when you win, you just win the opportunity to pay money for a shoe. Correct.
It gives you the opportunity to share it on social media, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, hey, I'm a loser again. Yes, yes.
It gives you a woof. Yes.
Yeah, exactly. And then the other story, Hank, barstowgold.com slash PMT, by the way.

Speaker 1 If you want to watch us, you want to do our Tom Brady update? Sure. I mean,

Speaker 1 it's a daily update because every single day, this is now clickbait for everyone.

Speaker 1 Matthew Berry wrote a whole story that basically said, I was in Indy, and oh yeah, I talked to everyone and everyone thinks he's not going to sign with the Patriots. Then Tom Curran said

Speaker 1 the smoke out in the Bay Area, not a forest fire. It's actually real that the 49ers are thinking about parting ways with Jimmy G and signing Tom Brady.
Now, Hank, would you take that?

Speaker 1 What if they sent Jimmy G back to New England? Not bad.

Speaker 1 I don't want to think about living in a world where Tom Brady isn't on the Patriots. I'm not going to consider it a possibility until it becomes a reality.
So that is my official stance.

Speaker 1 Heck, look at me. From today.
Look at me.

Speaker 1 Imagine Tom Brady in a 49ers helmet. You're thinking about it right now.
Boomer would go. Boomer would be part of the deal.
That would be the Chris Berman singularity. He would.

Speaker 1 He would get back to ground zero.

Speaker 1 I also have been reading, though, that because of the new CBA deal or whatever, that the Patriots and Tom Brady still haven't even talked yet because they have to figure out the deal before they can figure out how they're going to structure Brady's deal.

Speaker 1 So it's all just bullshit. That's that's my understanding of the situation.
When is the free agency start? March 13th? I'm actually kind of sick of it, to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 Already sick of free agency? Yeah, I'm sick of the Tom Brady free agency. I'm more, I'm a fan of the legal tampering window.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just like that peeping Tom effect where you can just reach in and start tampering. Is it March 13th?

Speaker 1 I want to say, I don't know why I threw that out in my head, but March 13th sounds like it could be the date. But I'm ready for a resolution, so then we can talk about whether he stays.

Speaker 1 You know, that then becomes how many more years, or whether he leaves, then it becomes, whoa, this is so weird.

Speaker 1 March 18th is the start of the 2020 league year. Fuck with so long.

Speaker 1 The unofficial but true start of free agency is the legal tampering period, which is March 16th. Okay.
So March 16th is when you can tamper with your favorite players. Got it.
Got it. And I've...

Speaker 1 I've been paying attention to this Jameis Winston thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Apparently, Bruce Arians is ready to move on.
Well, his name is Tomer Payton. It's not Tommer Payton, so the Sabre Matrix are all out the window on there.

Speaker 1 I got sent the most fire Photoshop of Jameis Winston in a Patriots jersey today. It is sick.
Oh, and guess what?

Speaker 1 Matthew Berry, when he ranked, he said I'd rank the non-Patriots teams likely to get him in this order. Tampa Bay Bucks won.

Speaker 1 According to Matthew Berry? Yes. I don't know

Speaker 1 how much he knows. He's just a fantasy guy.
I mean,

Speaker 1 that's a fantasy.

Speaker 1 That's his fantasy.

Speaker 1 But it would make sense because Bruce Arians did say he prescribes to analytics, subscribes to analytics. If a quarterback's named Tom, they're great.
And he does like older quarterbacks, too.

Speaker 1 He's kind of like a cougar hunter. What's the male equivalent of a cougar?

Speaker 1 Oh, I think there's a name for it. Mountain Lion.

Speaker 1 Sex Panther. A low.
We call it a low. Okay, a low.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 A Rob. A Rob, or is it a Paul Rudd?

Speaker 1 A rhino. A rhino.
A rhino.

Speaker 1 Nice. So you actually look that up? Yeah.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 You're going to have some interesting auto-completes from now on.

Speaker 1 Bruce Arians is definitely a rhino hunter. Yes.
Because he liked Carson Palmer, loved Peyton Manning. He likes these old guys.
He's basically a dentist from Minnesota. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Is that where he's from? Cecil? Cecil the lion. Got killed by the winter.
Got killed by the Midwestern dentist. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember that? Remember simpler times before the whole world, we thought it was going to burn and there was disease everywhere? We were just pissed at a dude who killed a fucking lion.

Speaker 1 Well, Cecil was a universally beloved lion. Oh, listen, I was Team Cecil for sure.
But I'm just saying, it seemed like those were simpler days. And then the Jimmy Johns guy also went big game honey.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure Papa John drove over several endangered species in his Corvette. Too soon on a rombay.
Papa Bless. Can I get a Papa Bless? Papa Bless.
Thank you. Papa Bless.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I would love to see Jameis go to New England. Tom Brady in a Bucs uniform would look stupid as hell.

Speaker 1 Which is why I kind of hope that it happens. It almost seems like it's so beneath Tom Brady to be a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, doesn't it? It is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he probably is like, I want to play a home Super Bowl. Tampa's got the Super Bowl next year.

Speaker 1 Ooh, get that storyline going.

Speaker 1 That's a great storyline that makes no sense. Nope.

Speaker 1 Either way, I'm ready for, yeah, I'm ready for free agency to start. Because we're in this weird spot.
We're waiting for Marsh Madis. We're waiting for free agency.

Speaker 1 We're waiting for NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup playoffs.

Speaker 1 It's this weird, like, no man's land where we get to just watch senile Coach K get mad at people, which I don't, I don't hate that part, but I'm ready for some action. It's kind of fun, though.

Speaker 1 Like, he's been getting angrier and angrier over the years. It is like watching your grandfather descend into just madness.
He's just lost it. All right, before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne,

Speaker 1 a quick note. So, obviously, there was tragedy in Nashville on Monday night with the tornado.
Our guys, Busting With the Boys, they got a shirt up.

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Speaker 1 My hot seat is Randy Orton.

Speaker 1 Okay, RKO.

Speaker 1 He RKO'd Sting's wife last night. What?

Speaker 1 On live TV. That just, I mean, I saw the clip.
It's a hilarious, unbelievable clip. Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 No, Sting the performer? The wrestler. Oh, I was going to say, like, she's always having sex with Sting because he does that tantric stuff.
But he RKO'd another man's wife on live TV.

Speaker 1 I feel like that. It's got to put you on the hot seat in some way, shape, or form.
He's king. That's like the WWE version of Prima Nocta.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's electric. And he is the king of RKO, but it's like,

Speaker 1 even though you're watching a clip with Randy Orton, you're just not expecting it. And when it's like, when he RKOs a guy's wife, it's like always electric.
How could you, sir?

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne is guys being in their feelings.

Speaker 1 So it's cool. It's cool to be in your feelings because Mike Tyson did a podcast interview where he was like super honest, super open about how he used to be a killer.
That guy's not there anymore.

Speaker 1 Didn't he cry because he was scared of his former self, which makes perfect sense because his former self was a scared person. Sometimes I feel

Speaker 1 like a bitch because I don't want that person to come out because if he comes out, all hell is coming with him.

Speaker 1 So he's basically like talking about how it's like... He doesn't want to fight Tyson.
Right. He used to be a killer, but he's like dealing with the fact that there's killers inside.

Speaker 1 No, but he's scared that other people are going to fight Tyson again. No, but I think he's scared of old Tyson.
The reason I'm crying, because I'm not that person no more, and I miss him.

Speaker 1 And it's not funny at all. It's not cool.
Like, I'm a tough guy. It's just that I hate that guy.
I'm scared of him. That guy's kind of dead now.

Speaker 1 That wasn't easy. That guy didn't want to leave.
He wasn't leaving easy. He fought, screamed, and cried and scratched all the way until he died, you know? Oh, so Tyson's dead.

Speaker 1 Well, he's also saying that he feels like a bitch because he's no longer old Tyson. Right.
Like, the memory of old Tyson is like, hey, haunting him. Like, hey, pussy, do something about it.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 he got real emo about it. He was crazy to watch.
But at the same time, it was like, it's probably good that he's handling his feelings by talking about them instead of in other more destructive ways.

Speaker 1 Correct. Being in your feelings.
Being in your feelings. All right.
Cool throne. Tell us about our feelings.
We're going to cry at some point this year, all right?

Speaker 1 We're crying and wearing dresses in 2020.

Speaker 1 We'll just do the crying part. Whatever.
Yeah, yeah. What is your hot seat cool thrown on PFT? You know, in many cultures, males wear dresses all the time.

Speaker 1 It's not a masculine thing or a feminine thing. How many cultures? Scottish.
A lot of them. Scottish.
A lot of them. Scottish, yeah.
Go to Central Africa. A lot of countries do that.

Speaker 1 That's right. Scottish kilts.
I might get in kilt life.

Speaker 1 Nothing more masculine. It's the most masculine dress possible.

Speaker 1 You can't go any farther, so why not do it all? My hot seat is Golden Tate.

Speaker 1 What happened? Because Golden Tate got an endorsement deal with our good friends at Bud Light. This is not an ad, by the way.
I was going to do this anyways. Wow.

Speaker 1 He had an endorsement deal with Bud Light, and then Darren Revelle snitched on him on Twitter. He also chugged so slow.

Speaker 1 Tough chug chugged. In the commercial, Golden Tate did a little thing for Bud Light, took out a Bud Light beer, drank it pretty slowly, faster than Aaron Rodgers would, but still.

Speaker 1 Everyone. Yeah, but still relatively slowly.
And then Darren Revell quote-tweeted it and said, Golden Tate got an advertisement endorsement deal with Bud Light.

Speaker 1 The NFL prohibits its players from drinking beers or alcohol in any commercial for them. So, Darren Narkdown immediately, instead of

Speaker 1 barbecue, what's her name? Barbecue Becky? Oh, he's the barbecue. Darren is barbecue brandy.
He's the worst. And we're going to talk about it with snacks, but he's the worst.
He ruins everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's ruined the fun for Golden Tate, so that's tough. It sucks that he likes to do that, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's well-actually in real life. He's a walking well-actually guy.

Speaker 1 God. My cool throne is my liver.
So on the other side of that coin, I'm doing sober January, dry January, sober October.

Speaker 1 Sober October for the next two weeks, and except on weekends, obviously, and if I'm going to be helping to form a couple of things. Does Thursday count as a weekend?

Speaker 1 It depends on if there's a good game on it.

Speaker 1 Thursday counts. I get buzzed on Thursday.
What if an XFL game goes into Overtime? On a Monday. It's on a weekend.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What if a game gets rained out? There's a rain-out game? Yeah, I think that's super seasoned. And then the Monday game goes to Overtime.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so well, there are also some conference tournaments this Thursday or Friday, right? Yeah, we started. So Horizon League.
There you go. So I'm doing sober October through the end of the week

Speaker 1 and going to stop once meaningful basketball games start occurring again. I'm giving my body hitting the reset button on the old liver right now.
Nice. I'm going to feel great on this.

Speaker 1 I'm going to support you in this. Even though I saw you, did you just take a sip of the Bud Light Celts earlier? Yeah, but then I caught myself and I said, wait a second, I'm doing dry January.

Speaker 1 You caught yourself. All right, my hot seat is handshakes because, oh, no, wait, my hot seat is Twitter.
Sorry. My hot seat is Twitter because Tom Izzo, did you see Tom Izzo? He's going off.

Speaker 1 You need to see this PFT because you love Tom Izzo. I do.
Tom Izzo has a very contentious relationship with Twitter.

Speaker 1 You would say that as a Tom Izzo hater.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking he's going to try to submarine Twitter because earlier in the season, he said that anyone who says anything mean, he says, if there's any Michigan State people out there that are abusing some of my players on that freaking Twitter, I'm sick of it.

Speaker 1 And then he also said this past week, he forbade anyone from going on Twitter and complimenting their guys this week.

Speaker 1 So he said, I would ask all Twitter people, which Twitter people, so people, all you Twitter people out there, don't compliment our guys this week. Don't insult them.
Just let them go.

Speaker 1 So he hates Twitter. And I think

Speaker 1 he will take it down. Instead of complimenting it's March, it's January, February, Izzo.
He's going to report

Speaker 1 any actual compliments of his players to Twitter for being harassment.

Speaker 1 So if you want to compliment a Michigan State player, if you want to say something nice about Cassius,

Speaker 1 you don't go to his Twitter account. You go to Tom Izzo's Twitter account.
Right. And you tweet at Tom Izzo and say, hey, I was going to say this to your player.
Tom Izzo, WSF.

Speaker 1 But I'm saying this to you instead.

Speaker 1 Get him. Go after him.
Get Tom Izzo. He's, yeah, I don't, I love when coaches tell

Speaker 1 fans, it's the Nick Sabin, the rat poison. Don't put anything in their ears.
Don't say anything about them. All right, my cool throne is Howie Mandel, Liam's guy, Bubba's guy.

Speaker 1 He's cool thrown because he's been ahead of the times, not handshaking with anyone ever. The A-10 came out.
They have their tournament in Brooklyn. They have ended the handshake line after games.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. What are they going to do in the hockey playoffs? Every NHL team is going to come down with the coronavirus because their sportsmanship is so strong.

Speaker 1 I like that the handshake line, like that, you know, the guys will be playing, bumping up against each other, sweating on each other, breathing on each other, bleeding on each other,

Speaker 1 but do not shake hands after the game. Making out with each other.
Yeah, it will be too much. So, Howie Mandel, you are ahead of your time.
He's bumps.

Speaker 1 Do you think Howie Mandel's going outside right now? No, Howie Mandel is sealed hermetically in his office.

Speaker 1 He bought one of those vacuum sealers online, and they tried to just dive through it. One of the ones that you put like a salmon in to keep fresh.

Speaker 1 He's got to be trying to stick his entire body through a vacuum seal. And he's actually very susceptible because he has not been sick in, I assume, a really long time.
And he's got that soul patch.

Speaker 1 Listen, Howie Mandel, my friend, you are hairless all over your body, but the fact that you lack the commitment to shave off that soul patch is going to be what gets you, bro. Yeah, won't stop.

Speaker 1 That thing is just a petri dish of coronavirus. So I was actually under the assumption, like what you just said, that it's the beard catches a bunch of disease and stuff.

Speaker 1 It's actually for the face mask. It's just a seal.
You don't get a seal if you have a beard. No, but

Speaker 1 if you have a beard, then stuff gets stuck in it all the time.

Speaker 1 I think it really is.

Speaker 1 They're saying it because of

Speaker 1 a face mask. I'm not buying that.

Speaker 1 Your face right now is not. We're not going to face mask.
Just bacteria everywhere. Okay.
You want to lick it? No. We'll give it a lick.
I actually,

Speaker 1 I am standing up right now and saying I respect coronavirus. I'm done disrespecting it.
I'm not. I'm putting a respect.
I still think they're a fraud. They've only won on the road.

Speaker 1 I am respecting coronavirus. I'm not.
I'm sorry, they've only won at home.

Speaker 1 They haven't. Listen, just because you can win in China and Italy doesn't mean that you can come over to the big boy United States.
They've been winning Washington.

Speaker 1 No, they haven't. Yeah, they have.
Six people died. At Washington State? Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not talking about Washington, D.C. The D.C.
defenders will defend it. That's right.
We're safe. Audi Field is the safest place to be.

Speaker 1 That's ground zero where you can everyone get to Audi Field. It's basically, what's the

Speaker 1 get to Winterfell?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, King's Landing.
You ever get to King's Landing? I don't know. Fuck that show.
All right, let's get to our interviews. We have, what, are you mad now?

Speaker 1 Let's get to our interviews. We will run Jay Gruden first, then snacks afterwards, before we get to Jay Gruden.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Jay Gruden.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. It is Jay Gruden, former head coach of the Washington Redskins, now offensive coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Good to finally have you on.

Speaker 1 We've been circling each other for a while. It's an honor to be on this show.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we said right before we started that we were going to maybe bust your balls a little because we had Doug Marone on earlier. And you said, that's fine.
We can do that.

Speaker 1 So I'll just start with one of my tweets that I found from 2014.

Speaker 1 I just said Jay Gruden creeps me out. Thanks.
I don't know why. I have no idea what that's about.

Speaker 1 Why would you tweet that? I have no idea. What did I do?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I really don't know. You probably didn't do anything.
So I apologize for that.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Apology accepted.

Speaker 1 But it's good to have you on.

Speaker 2 If that's the worst tweet, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 There's worse ones. Yeah, yeah.
Why is Jay Gruden always out of breath? I'm not always out of breath. That's what I said in 2014 as well.
I don't know what it was.

Speaker 1 You must have beating the Bears or something. I don't know what happened.

Speaker 1 I was mad. Both Big Kat and I, I think, tweeted a picture of you wearing your headset kind of weird on Monday Night Football.
Oh, yeah. Remember that?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, I have trouble with the headset.

Speaker 2 Sometimes it should be on my left ear, right ear, and then I can't find my glasses.

Speaker 1 I said,

Speaker 1 and I am a Redskins fan. I grew up a Redskins fan.

Speaker 1 I'm dying in the wool. Purposely watching this Redskins Dolphins game should automatically kill you within 24 hours, like the ring.
That was from this year. So, yeah, we're getting this.

Speaker 1 I'm getting everything out of my system right now.

Speaker 1 I was already on a golf course on that Sunday. Okay, so let's start with there.
So, obviously, this past year has been a little weird for you because you got fired by the Redskins mid-season.

Speaker 1 You're now with the Jaguars. How's it been? Like, you had a few months where you just weren't watching football and it was football season.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was a normal human living a normal life, you know, playing a little bit of golf, taking some trips.

Speaker 2 Really kind of enjoyed it there for the first three or four weeks. And then you kind of wake up and you're like, what am I going to do today? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 If the weather's bad, you know, what do you do? I take a 30-minute drive, go work out, so I'd have to drive 30 minutes back, maybe grab some lunch, you know, but

Speaker 2 they started to stack up. You were trying to figure out what to do.
But stayed pretty busy, enjoyed the time off, but itching to get back in.

Speaker 1 You do look like you're in good shape right now. You look rested.
You look like a little bit. This is another compliment.

Speaker 1 You look low-key jacked a little bit. Like, you could put me in a headlock right now.
Yeah, I could. But I just twist your nipples.

Speaker 2 Another bad tweet, I might do it.

Speaker 1 That's a twist flame to head. That's right.
So I sent you that video of us talking to Gardner Minstre at the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 We gave him the word of advice. Like, you like it when players twist your nipples a little bit.
Deshaun Jackson issue that a few years ago. Yeah, that was good.

Speaker 1 It looked like you were really having fun with it at the time. So don't be surprised if Gardner just reaches over time.
It only happened one time by

Speaker 1 the end of the day.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I did knock out Deshaun and punish him for that.

Speaker 1 Have you talked to Nick Foles and Gardner Minshew and gotten to sit with them?

Speaker 2 Well, we can't talk any football right now, but I was able to talk and say hello and introduce myself. It's unfortunate we can't talk ball right now, but yeah, I think

Speaker 2 it's going to be a process. Both these guys bring something interesting to the table.
Nick's played a lot of big games, won a lot of big games.

Speaker 2 Gardner's got the excitement level and played great as a rookie. So the competition will be fierce.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I think Gardner listens to this show. so if you want to if you wanted to say anything to him you could tell it to us yeah and then he'd hear

Speaker 1 about football really yeah yeah so if anything intermediary yeah pops up not probably you've got plenty of time okay yeah you wanted to probably on an rv right now traveling across the country true that's right true he definitely is i um

Speaker 1 i i like hearing the sound of your voice because it sounds like football you and your brother both have that oh

Speaker 1 whereabouts in ohio is it from northeast oh well yeah i kind of grew up in indiana my i was born in ohio but I was an infant when we moved.

Speaker 2 Grew up in Bloomington, Indiana, South Bend, Indiana, and then went to high school in Tampa.

Speaker 1 There you go. You've got that football voice.
And the first time we sat down with Coach McVay, we were like,

Speaker 1 you try to sound like a Gruden sometime. You grew up around a copycat.
Yeah. That's right.
Copycat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 We got that trademarked.

Speaker 2 He can't have it.

Speaker 1 Do you ever, like, do you remember first meeting him and he sounded completely normal and then slowly morphed into a Gruden?

Speaker 2 He didn't talk a lot when I first met him. He was really young.
He was like John's little office manager, kind of just typed up scripts and all that stuff. He came up the hard way now.

Speaker 2 He went on a fast track and did a great job, but didn't talk a whole lot when I first met him.

Speaker 1 Right. So a guy like that,

Speaker 1 when you see him and you meet him and you see what he's doing, do you have any inkling that like this guy's head coach material? Can you tell even when a guy comes in the door the first day?

Speaker 2 You never really can't tell until they get in front of players and how they interact with players and how they get across what they need to get across in a professional manner to get the players to do what they're supposed to do.

Speaker 2 And Sean's great at that. You know, he's a very young-looking individual, but once he talks football, the players have a lot of respect for him because his knowledge is great.

Speaker 2 You gain respect with the knowledge that you have and the ability to get across to the players. You know, I coach Chris Cooley.

Speaker 2 Chris Cooley has lots of great things to say about him, and he moved on from tight end coach to obviously offensive coordinator with me.

Speaker 2 People said I was crazy hiring this young offensive coordinator. Now they say I'm an idiot.
They are an idiot for letting him go. So that's just the way you guys are.

Speaker 1 That is immediate, right?

Speaker 1 It is kind of funny that way. So So now you're down in Jacksonville.
We were talking to Doug Marone earlier. He said that one of the first things you mentioned was we need to get a fullback.

Speaker 1 I'm a big fullback guy. We're a fullback, a pro-fullback podcast.

Speaker 1 And it seems like you want to introduce that wrinkle back to Jacksonville because they used to have, what, Pho Hannon back in the day.

Speaker 1 Have you thought about who that individual might be?

Speaker 2 No, no, there's some free agents out there you can look at. There's some guys in the draft possibly.

Speaker 2 You know, it's not a necessity to have a fullback, but that part of your offense, when you take that out of your game, you know, there's some pretty good plays that you're missing.

Speaker 2 You know, play action passes are excellent. Obviously, the running game can improve a little bit, but to have a good fullback goes hand in hand.
You better have a good tight end.

Speaker 2 It can block the edge as well. So, you know, we're trying to figure out the necessary pieces to our offense so we can come at and we can really have a feel really good grasp of where we want to go.

Speaker 2 Fullback, tight end, two tight ends, three tight ends, one tight end. You know what I mean? So we're still in the infantry stages, but we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 How do you pick up new wrinkles to your offense? Do you just do through watching college, through watching other coaches?

Speaker 1 Yeah, both.

Speaker 2 Both, really. You know, it's fun when you go and you start to evaluate these players for the draft.
I always got an idea reel, something I haven't seen before, and I click them on there and I...

Speaker 2 store them and I always go back to them to help just try to spark a thought. And then obviously watching teams that are successful.

Speaker 2 Watch what the 49ers did this year with their fullback, for instance.

Speaker 2 Watch obviously Patrick Mahomes play with Kansas City. I always like to watch Sean because we have similar type things, but he's branched off and done some different things himself.

Speaker 2 So there's about seven or eight teams that I like to watch and study and come up with good ideas.

Speaker 1 So if it was a battle royale, you and well, your brother and Sean.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait. Let me finish.
Actually, yeah, you're right. Because it was going to be your brother and Sean versus you and Deuce.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, he and Deuce. I feel like Deuce is like your attacker.

Speaker 2 How are they going to get Deuce out of the ring?

Speaker 1 I rarely get starstruck, but when we were walking through the lobby last year at the Combine, it was this very lobby, it was like 9 o'clock p.m. And Deuce was grinding film just by himself at a table.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh my God, that's Deuce Gruvin. That's incredible.
That was like the moment.

Speaker 2 I might take Deuce's brother now. He's an MMA fighter.
Really?

Speaker 1 He's

Speaker 2 3-0 right now.

Speaker 1 He's jacked up, too.

Speaker 1 I was doing a little research on your family, and it's you and John, but then you have another brother

Speaker 1 who's a doctor. Yeah, he's like, he's a black sheep of the family.

Speaker 1 Some people run away to join the circus.

Speaker 2 I grew up. I was a youngest brother of three, and those two guys, you couldn't draw up two exact opposite human beings to be brothers.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 2 Jim is smart. John was a jock, and they butted heads a lot and argued and fought.
And I was always a mediator. I just want to play, you know.

Speaker 2 But ultimately, they figured it out and got along, and everybody gets along good.

Speaker 1 So does he watch all your guys' games? Does he

Speaker 1 come and see games during the season? Or is he kind of? Yeah,

Speaker 2 he's come before.

Speaker 2 He's pretty busy himself though yeah uh but uh he got up to the giants game and he came to a home game for me last year and uh so he tries to come as much as he can that'd be cool if he had like some random plays that he gave you he was like the gruden whisperer because he's a what is he a doctor at cornell right yeah he's a radiologist yeah that's crazy

Speaker 1 that's wild jay just gave you this look like yeah are you stalking me yeah what's going on you know everything about my family well i think i uncovered the secret i think yeah he has the best plays

Speaker 2 he gives them to you so if we can get to those plays We did used to play board games all the time, college football, the right, roll the dice and pick plays and stuff.

Speaker 2 Jim and I used to play that all the time. He's a pretty good play caller.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are you playing against the Raiders this year? No.
Oh, man. That'd be awesome.
Damn. Brune Bowl.
And your brother could show up wearing like a half visor, half Jacksonville, half black.

Speaker 2 And I could wear my headset all crooked.

Speaker 1 That would be good. That would be awesome.
Did you watch Hard Knocks?

Speaker 2 I did watch part of it, yeah.

Speaker 1 What did you think? I thought it was pretty good.

Speaker 2 You know, we're in training camp as well, so I could, like, after meeting and stuff, I'd cook it on. It was pretty good.
good.

Speaker 1 Did you think your brother was maybe like come turning it up a little for the cameras? He wouldn't do that. He doesn't play to the cameras.
Of course, he did.

Speaker 2 That's just actually, that's the way he is, really. He's a coach with a lot of energy, a lot of passion, and a great motivator.
So, yeah, he's the way he is.

Speaker 1 Was it ever awkward when he was in media and he had to call your games?

Speaker 2 And it's like I never listen to games. I don't listen to media.
Okay. I really don't.

Speaker 2 I try not to, and unless it comes to my attention, if somebody says something really bad that I have to address or show something really bad. But

Speaker 2 yeah, I just try to do my own thing.

Speaker 1 It's a nice way to live just to be kind of like not listening to anybody. Go crazy.
Go crazy.

Speaker 2 What I have done before is really bad now. Some of the articles, I've scrolled down and read the comments.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 who writes those things?

Speaker 2 I want to meet some of these comment writers.

Speaker 1 You can't do that.

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. The comments.

Speaker 1 Have you ever read the Pro Football Talk comment section? Unbelievable. The worst place on the planet.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Who writes those things?

Speaker 1 Probably mass murderers. Probably people that should be locked up.
Some of them are pretty funny, though.

Speaker 1 Some of them are already. You're going to be able to laugh at yourself.
That's a good point.

Speaker 1 It strikes me as guys who are like overcompensating for something, maybe height or whatever it may be. You get those comments.

Speaker 1 You want to be humbled? Read a comment. Yeah, that's right.
That's true. That's a great quote.
Put that on a quote. Yeah.
I'm actually. I love that.

Speaker 2 Don't quote me because it'll be a comment underneath it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So PFT mentioned that you

Speaker 1 look good and you do look good. You've been working out.
Who said that? PFT, you look good.

Speaker 1 You look like you've been working out. But you did once rank your own body as a 32 out of 100.

Speaker 1 Where are you at right now?

Speaker 2 I'm talking about 32 out of 100.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what you said.

Speaker 1 That's a direct quote from you. He didn't read it in the media.
Yeah, you didn't read it in the media. You used to read it.
You said it and then forgot it.

Speaker 2 I used to be quite chunky. Yeah.
Yeah, I used to be chunky. I had a spell, you know, I had a couple bad knees and I was eating.
I wasn't able to exercise.

Speaker 2 And you sit in the office all day, you're watching film.

Speaker 2 not motivated at all to do any type of exercise. So I put on a few pounds and then lost it all.

Speaker 1 So now what are you, like a 40 out of 100? You know, 45? I don't rank myself.

Speaker 2 You did, though.

Speaker 1 What do you think I am? You ranked yourself a 32. I ripped myself up.

Speaker 2 I'm probably 35 now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd say you're 60. 60 out of 100.
Really? Yeah. Who's 100? Yeah.

Speaker 1 DK Metcalf. Yeah, that would be a good one.
Aaron Donald. Yeah.
Nice little child.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 If he just has like one weekend where he just eats juice or drinks juices, he'll have a six-pack. On a 52, though.
On a 53. Yeah.
Does that count? So you gotta grade it on a scale.

Speaker 1 As far as 52-year-olds go, you're probably like a 70. You're doing well.

Speaker 2 Show me another 52-year-old.

Speaker 1 Who else is 52? I'm just kidding. The other 50.

Speaker 1 It's a weird age. Weird age, man.
Dave Portland. Do you feel weird? It's a weird age.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because you're in a...

Speaker 1 You're not old.

Speaker 1 But you're old.

Speaker 2 Too young to feel this old, but too old to young things.

Speaker 1 Like 60 is old. 52 is like, where are you, man?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I figure I got a few years left before I get old. Then you look like that old stalker sitting around looking at, you know what I mean? Yeah.
Have my fun now, I think.

Speaker 1 Right, right. You're right at that age where it's like, yeah, 52, okay, you know, whatever.
You got a little left, maybe. A little left.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you were with the Redskins and Kirk Cousins was like, hey, can I get an office so that I can sit in an office and pretend to work all day? Were you like, come on, Kirk.

Speaker 1 Come on, man. You're listening to me.

Speaker 2 It's necessary for the quarterback because a lot of times they come in early, and if you don't have the office space, right, there's nowhere for them to go watch film.

Speaker 2 So he wants to come in early or stay after practice. Well, we have to watch film and prepare for the next day or what have you.

Speaker 2 So we set up a little cubby for him, and I'm glad he's in there watching it. Rather be doing that than playing a video game.

Speaker 1 Did you see how he grills steaks, though?

Speaker 2 I did not see that.

Speaker 1 Did you ever go to a barbecue at his house? No.

Speaker 2 We're never invited.

Speaker 1 Kirk, you never invited me to a barbecue, Kirk. Did Colt ever invite you to a barbecue? I don't know.
No comment? Oh, well. No, never done.

Speaker 2 I didn't really commingle with the players outside of work.

Speaker 1 I really guarantee you Colt McCoy's barbecue is a lot better than Kirk. Kirk Cousins, when he cooks a steak, he puts aluminum foil underneath it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but Colt, man, he drinks like milk with unpasteurized milk.

Speaker 1 He does some weird stuff. I don't think I'd go over to Colt College.
I like that. You do love Colt McCoy, though.
Yeah. You like them both.
Yeah, I love them both.

Speaker 1 I like a lot of players that I coach.

Speaker 2 But Colt's a great guy, very competitive. And, you know, it's just a shame that he had a couple opportunities and got injured, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you were coaching the Redskins, you had

Speaker 1 Rob Ryan and Jim Tomsula on their defensive staff. What did that meeting room smell like?

Speaker 2 Doritos and Pop-Tarts and chicken wings.

Speaker 1 No, Italian subs. No, they were great guys.

Speaker 2 They were great. They got along very well.
And I didn't really go in there and smell their meeting rooms. I kind of had to work with the offense a little bit.
I turned the defense over to those guys.

Speaker 2 I felt pretty good about it. Minuski and those cats.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So here's another quote for you.

Speaker 1 You were once called the MJ of Arena Football.

Speaker 1 Do you remember that?

Speaker 2 No, I don't.

Speaker 1 Okay. So you were called the Monday.
MJ McKinley. Michael Jordan of Arena Football.
Now, when I was looking at this quote, I was like, wow, they were calling Jay Gruden the greatest of all time.

Speaker 1 It was a little different. It was when you made your comeback, and everyone was saying, is he going to be like Michael Jordan on the Wizards?

Speaker 1 So, but you still were called the Michael Jordan of Arena Football at one point.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I won four championships in six years as a player of the dynasty.

Speaker 2 And I came back to play, and I broke my leg in half. The guy that I cut with the Predators when I was head coach was playing for another team, team as I played.

Speaker 2 And I threw a little pass out in the flat, was standing there, and

Speaker 2 snapped my leg in half. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did that on purpose. Yeah.
Brutal. That's tough.
Now, you were ranked the number four AFL player of all time. So you're on the Mount Rush?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm not very happy. I should have been at least three.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Who's in front of you?

Speaker 2 I believe George LaFrance. Touched down Eddie Brown.
Antonio Brown's dad is number one. Barry Wagner's number two.
And I think LaFrance is three, and I'm four.

Speaker 1 That's bullshit. Yeah, but I mean.
I met a Kurt Warner, though. Yeah.
There you go. Kurt.

Speaker 2 You like that, Kurt?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is there a Hall of Fame for the AFL? There is.
Somebody's trumped it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's really done. It's over.
Yeah, man. I put a lot of work in it.

Speaker 2 I love that league. It was a lot of fun.
And we're able to compete and build people's careers and give some people some money. Unfortunately, didn't get it done as far as longevity.
It's a cool thing.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a cool league to watch. I remember it was such kind of like a novelty when you turn it on and be like, what's going on here? It was a blast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 People just throwing it up and down the points. You know, points, points, points.
And then that weird extra point in field goal, the skinny

Speaker 1 eight feet wide, yeah. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 So you actually could be eligible for the football hall of fame, pro football hall of fame. It doesn't say NFL Hall of Fame.
True. It's professional football hall of fame.

Speaker 1 We talked to David Baker about that. So there should be a wing for the AFL in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You could have your bust in there.
It would just be like your shattered leg, a cast of your shattered leg.

Speaker 2 Yeah, be in a closet somewhere next to the coffee machine.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, as you're getting your coffee, if you look over there in a corner by the trash can, there's the Arena League Hall of Fame. There's Jay Gruden.

Speaker 1 Jay Gruden wearing a Michael Jordan Wizards jersey. He's looking great, folks.
Do you still hate meetings? What do you mean? That was a quote as well I read up. I got all these quotes.

Speaker 2 What kind of meetings?

Speaker 1 Just meetings.

Speaker 2 I'm not a big meeting. I hate meetings.

Speaker 1 There we go. So I was right.
Yeah. I hate meetings, too.

Speaker 2 They're necessary. They're part of it, but I just don't like meetings.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You obviously prefer practice to meetings, I would imagine. I like practice.

Speaker 2 I like getting out there, walking through practice.

Speaker 2 I mean, meetings, you got to do your installs and all that, but the teams are the people that overmeet, team meet, and just want to talk all the time.

Speaker 2 You know, there's only so many things you can say. We got to teach our offense.
We got to practice it.

Speaker 1 Let's go. I'd imagine you players appreciate that in you as a coach, where it's like, hey, I'm not going to be able to do it.
Well, it could be a good thing.

Speaker 2 It could have been a negative too, because I didn't have a ton of team meetings and all that stuff. But I did, you know, I addressed a team a couple times a week and night before a game.

Speaker 2 And I was more of an

Speaker 2 individual-based coach. I like to try to get guys one-on-one and talk to them.

Speaker 2 Because everybody's different. What motivates you doesn't motivate you, right?

Speaker 2 But there are some team core values that you have to install in your team, instill in your team, and try to do that the best you could.

Speaker 1 I liked it. I think I'd like to play for Jay Gruden.
Thanks. Yeah, absolutely.
So

Speaker 1 when you're going into your team meeting, though, that you have to do, is that, what is it, a Friday meeting?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we usually have one

Speaker 2 Monday after the game and then maybe a Friday and then a Saturday night.

Speaker 1 So the Saturday night meeting, when you're going in there and you're like, I got to get these guys pumped up, do you like sit down and prepare anything or you just get up there and let like try to come up a few talking points, but again, it was not a 10-minute, 20-minute speech.

Speaker 2 It was about three or four, because these guys, they've had a long week of practice. It's Saturday night.
They want to get to their rooms, eat their snack, and go to bed. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 So I didn't try to, we're not going to run through the tunnel Saturday night. We're running through the tunnel Sunday at one o'clock.
You know what I mean? So

Speaker 2 I just want to touch on a few points that we talked about during the week and something maybe motivational, something fun.

Speaker 2 Let them go to bed.

Speaker 1 We've had both Harbaugh brothers on.

Speaker 1 Not had your brother on, but since we're talking to you right now and hopefully someday we have John on, was there ever a point where as a younger brother, you got stronger than John and you could maybe beat him in like a wrestling match or something?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 John was a strong, he was one of those really stocky guys and lifted weights all the time. And I was more of a tall, gangly, skinny guy.
So he had his way with me growing.

Speaker 2 He's three and a half years older than me.

Speaker 2 But probably, you know, he put in his book, you know, probably my freshman year of college, sophomore year of college, I started a little stronger. We had a fight in the front yard.

Speaker 2 That ended all the fights.

Speaker 1 You won?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 i did good enough to where there was never going to be another fight i like that that is all

Speaker 1 or lose it just yeah if the little brother can beat up the big brother then fights stop it's like nah i don't want to do this no more fights yeah right we haven't really had any times where we had to get in a fight anymore and we get along pretty good okay so then let me ask you this because i asked this to both harbaugh brothers when you guys are maybe together family outings whatever it may be holidays do you ever give them a look like I'd kick your fucking ass.

Speaker 2 No, no, I would never do that.

Speaker 2 He's been really good to me in my coaching career i would not be sitting here with all the opportunities i've had without john's tutelage okay but sometimes i mean you don't you don't have to give the look as long as you know right it sounds like since that moment in your front yard he knows he knows yeah i mean that's we're both older neither one of us want to fight but uh but if it helps but i also know what bothers him and he knows what bothers me and we try not to do things that bother each other so we're very cordial and very peaceful okay

Speaker 2 if i wanted to turn the heat up a little bit I'd do some things that agitate him.

Speaker 1 What's one thing that would get him?

Speaker 2 One thing? Yeah. I could name about 3,000.
I could chew gum and crack it, pop the gum. You know what I mean? I could chew with my mouth open.
I could breathe really loud. I could do a lot of things.

Speaker 2 I could laugh really loud and annoying. I could do a lot of, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But you would never do any of that.
Never. No.
No. No.
Because then you'd have to kick his ass. Yeah, no.

Speaker 2 We're not around each other enough to try to agitate each other. We try to just talk ball and talk about the kids and all that stuff.
I love it.

Speaker 1 So, are you putting Spider-Two Y Banana in the playbook?

Speaker 2 It's always in.

Speaker 1 You need fullback for it.

Speaker 2 I have fullback for it, though. You can motion a tight end back to do it, but yeah.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 2 I think our touchdown against the Eagles, our first touchdown of the year was a Vernon Davis on a Spider-Two.

Speaker 2 He a little bluffed that ran a flat route, jumped over a guy and scored a touchdown on that.

Speaker 1 That's right. That was probably

Speaker 2 why banana, but it was a little crossing route.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was the best play of the year for the Redskins. Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, no, that was under your tutelage. Tutelage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so what's more impressive, do you think, winning four AFL titles or actually lasting five complete seasons or five seasons as the Redskins head coach?

Speaker 2 You're always proud to win a championship, but when you get to the NFL and

Speaker 2 you're able to be a head coach in the National Football League, any season where you can last the entire season is a good season.

Speaker 2 I felt pretty good about our accomplishments, where we started and where we grew. Unfortunately, it didn't last.

Speaker 2 You know, we had some unfortunate things happen to us injury-wise, and at the end of the day, it was time for a change.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
All right. I got one last question.
It's a SeatGeek question, promo code take. You get $10 off.
Go to a Jaguars game this year, $10 off.

Speaker 1 So I would love to hear your take on the Joe Burrow. It was overblown, but the Joe Burrow, does he, does he not want to go to Cincinnati? You coached there.

Speaker 1 Do you think that players like deciding, oh, I don't want to go there, do you think that's ridiculous?

Speaker 1 Or do you think there is a merit in some organizations maybe not being, you know, as great as others?

Speaker 2 You know what? I think every situation is different, and every player has their own reasons for doing what they do. Personally, I believe you're drafted.

Speaker 2 We have a draft for a reason and they're number one for a reason. They should have their chance at the best player in a draft.
That's what makes the NFL great and equal.

Speaker 2 So you feel like you have a chance to win every year because you're getting your pick of the litter if you have a bad year. So personally, I think he should have to go and play.

Speaker 2 Cincinnati is a great place. I coached there for three years.
Mike Brown's a heck of an owner. He's fair.
He's loyal.

Speaker 2 And, you know, Zach Taylor is a good coach. And I think if they get A.J.
Green back, who wouldn't want to go to throw it A.J. Green?

Speaker 1 You know, right? Yeah. Yeah.
My very last question is: I don't know if you saw the Redskins pregame reports that would come out every single week, but Larry Michael would have that board up.

Speaker 1 It'd be offense, defense, special teams, and he'd check which team had the advantage. And the fourth category was skin tangibles.
That was like the X factor.

Speaker 1 In your mind, what is a skin tangible and were you feeding him descriptions of it?

Speaker 2 Skin tangible.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, I think

Speaker 1 you guys always won the skin tangible of college.

Speaker 2 It's funny because if he checked the other team on a skin tangible at our home place, we'd have a problem, right?

Speaker 2 No, I think hustle, effort, protecting the football, creating turnovers, you know, things that may not show up in the stat receivers blocking for your running back, you know, finishing games, finishing drives, physicality.

Speaker 2 Might not be just a tackle.

Speaker 1 It might be a physical tackle, right?

Speaker 2 Tone setter, tone setting plays.

Speaker 1 And did you get those tone setting plays by having, like when the equipment guy would stir the Gatorade around with the styrofoam cups, would that give a little skin tangibles into the Gatorade? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you ever see that? Yeah. That was another, I think that was the exact same game.

Speaker 1 I think all these mean things that were bringing up about the team were just from that one Monday night football game. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, one last, last question. What's your favorite? I know you kind of like the horses.
I do too. What's your favorite track in America?

Speaker 2 That's easy for me. Well, I've been to Del Mar.

Speaker 2 Okay. You know, Saratoga for me is not even close.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You've been to Keeneland?

Speaker 2 I've been to Keeneland. I love Keeneland.

Speaker 1 I love Keeneland, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just like to go.

Speaker 2 I go to Saratoga, and I used to go for the opening weekend, and I'd get up early, and I'd go for a jog and hang out with the trainers and watch them train home. That's my favorite part of it.

Speaker 2 Not so much going to the track, but just the whole setup and the old school feel of the town.

Speaker 2 There's so much history there, and it's such a beautiful place that time of year. It's gorgeous.
It's awesome. You just do that, really.
I mean, I love it.

Speaker 1 I think about that often, like the, you know, someday I want to retire. I'm just going to live in a town where there's no reason.

Speaker 2 They're only a couple months a year, though. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You get up at 5.30 in the morning, go out there and watch these horses work out. I mean, it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 They're, yeah. Being up close to a racehorse is pretty fun.
Oh, man.

Speaker 2 They take such good care of them, too. People talk about

Speaker 2 how they're mistreated. These thoroughbreds are treated like kings.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Better than we are.
Better than we treat ourselves. Yeah.
I mean, you're talking about just practicing. You just like going out and being around things that are practicing.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I love talking to the trainers too because they have their issues too with all the horses that they have. You know, some horses don't perform like they should.

Speaker 2 Some horses get a little injured and they can't get them off the injury report. You know what I mean? And then what do you do with them?

Speaker 2 Do you try to put them in a claiming race to get rid of them, or you try to keep building them up and spending time with them? So it's pretty cool. It's a, you know, it's a great sport, man.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of work involved.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's pretty awesome. All right.
Well, Jay, thank you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 1 You're welcome on anytime. We'd love to have you and your brother on, maybe have you guys fight, just wrestle just for us.

Speaker 1 For charity, for charity.

Speaker 1 Charity, we'll do charity. But yeah, this has been awesome.
Thank you so much. Hey, thanks for having me.
Appreciate it. Thanks, man.

Speaker 1 That interview with Jay Groon was brought this college football season.

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Speaker 1 And now, snacks.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on viral sensation and student manager for Jackson State's basketball team. It is Thomas Snacks Lee, the

Speaker 1 man who got into the game last night or Tuesday, Monday night and whapped a three. What's up, man? How does it feel to be viral?

Speaker 10 It actually still hasn't hit me yet.

Speaker 10 It still feels unreal to actually go in a real Division I basketball game and actually be able to attempt some some game shots right yeah were you confident getting into the game that that if they gave you the shot you could hit one oh most definitely i uh often challenge my teammates every day uh to shooting competitions and sometimes i win and sometimes they end up being very competitive so they we challenge each other and i just said if i got the opportunity i had to make one and i knew the crowd was going to erupt so it was it was great okay so the proverbial turd in the punch bowl that is darren revell tweeted out that you actually took four shots and missed the first three.

Speaker 1 If that's true, you can say it's true, but then we're just going to pretend that never happened.

Speaker 10 It was true, but

Speaker 10 I only remember the make from last night.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah, that's all we remember, too.

Speaker 1 We didn't see the misses. You're one for one on the videos that I've seen of you shooting.
And shooter, shoot.

Speaker 10 Shoot or shoot, shoot or shoot.

Speaker 1 Right, absolutely. And then, so after you hit that shot, my favorite part

Speaker 1 was you getting back on defense and leaving the screen or leaving like the outside of the screen for just about a half second and then just staying back down and trying to get another basket real quick uh were you was that part of the plan were you just like hey i'm not gonna go back on defense just get me the ball i score buckets i don't i don't play d

Speaker 10 actually it was uh

Speaker 10 when i was on there i said

Speaker 10 man i just scored let me get the crowd into it so i actually went on the other end talking to the fans So I was turning the fans up on the other side saying like, this is my house, this is my house.

Speaker 10 So I was kind of getting them into it. And everybody was kind of embracing it and kind of just, you know, saying the same thing.

Speaker 1 oh man it's such an awesome moment i love these like this is college basketball right around now when you have senior nights and guys get in the games that have been doing the work behind the scenes there's nothing better i also saw that you wear number 35 that's uh an homage to kevin durant the slim reaper as we call him um did he shout you out afterwards he actually um

Speaker 10 he actually shouted me out on twitter He said, I see you snipe. And it was, that was kind of like an unreal moment.
I couldn't actually believe that I actually got a response from Kevin Durant.

Speaker 10 And I also tagged him on my Instagram and told a lot of people to kind of tag him because I was trying to get an in-person, I was trying to meet him actually, because he's my favorite player.

Speaker 10 I actually been following since Texas. So it was kind of like

Speaker 10 a great moment to see him actually shout me out on Twitter. So it's a lot of people commenting on my Instagram, adding him.
trying to get me to get an opportunity, you know, to meet Kevin Durant.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 Since you're more viral than Kevin Durant is right now, since he's been taking the year off, you should just tell people, hey, everybody, go give my man Kevin Durant a follow on Instagram and on Twitter.

Speaker 1 He needs a little bit more clout right now. So

Speaker 1 spread some of your juice out. Let him get a little taste of that.

Speaker 10 I'm not going to, I can't do that. That's my guy.
That's my guy.

Speaker 1 Well, given your range, because you shot that from the parking lot, do you think if you played one-on-one with Kevin Durant, you think you'd be able to get a couple buckets?

Speaker 10 Oh, most definitely. I'm definitely scoring.

Speaker 10 I would actually like to make that happen.

Speaker 1 I actually think thank i give him a run for his money okay all right yeah well i mean we can't really help set it up maybe we can we can that would be great to watch yeah we would be we would be team snacks all the way that would be a great one-on-one matchup uh what

Speaker 10 what what uh can you tell us anything behind the nickname snacks or like how long have you had it for um i've actually had the name since about probably around about 2005 2006 because i actually been around the program for going on 15 16 years and i actually enrolled in jackson state coming out of high school.

Speaker 10 So, I

Speaker 10 my aunt, she used to always take me to the Jackson State games, and she would

Speaker 10 go, you know, with the players back in the locker room. They would kind of embrace me as like a little brother.
And I always had like Skittles and snacks and things like that.

Speaker 10 And I actually used to eat them in the locker room. And I actually get things for the players.

Speaker 10 And like before the game, I get them snacks and Skittles before the game to kind of get the energy flowing.

Speaker 10 And actually, the ironic thing about it, some of the guys that I actually gave snacks to, they're actually still on the coaching staff.

Speaker 10 So, it was a kind of surreal moment to actually see them on the sideline. Like, two of our assistant coaches were actually playing at the time that I was coming supporting the team.

Speaker 10 And one of our assistant coaches actually

Speaker 10 promised me if I made the honor roll that he'll give me the opportunity to be a student manager here. So, it was kind of all kind of connected as well as my final semester of college now, whereas

Speaker 10 they let me finish my last semester actually on the basketball scholarship. So it's all been just rolling right now.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. And when they announced like snacks is in the game and snacks for three, like that's that's a re you get the nickname snacks.
That's respect.

Speaker 10 Right.

Speaker 1 And I see you got two games left in the regular season, right? Have we seen the last of snacks? Are you planning on getting back in one of these games?

Speaker 10 Well, snacks is on hold for now until we finish off the season.

Speaker 10 But our coach gave the team an incentive that if they finish off these two two games and we got the home seed in SWAC tournament because the first four teams get a home game.

Speaker 10 So he said he promised me if we get a home game, snacks would be back.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 saving you for the playoffs. Wow.
So the people got to realize you guys are fifth right now.

Speaker 1 You got to win out Grambling States ahead of you right now, and then we could maybe get a return of the snack.

Speaker 10 The snack attack might be back.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right.
Well, snacks, thank you so much for joining us. Enjoy your viral moment.

Speaker 1 That was like, I feel like we needed something like that because every now and then people get too down on life and to see you get in there and hit that three. I mean, you hit it from the moon.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was an impressive shot. I don't care who you are.
And it was your first shot, right?

Speaker 10 Yeah, it was my first shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. First shot.
First shot one. Yes.

Speaker 10 It was kind of like a great moment for me because it was kind of, that's why I made the post that I made that, you know, kind of basically saying that. If you put your mind to it, you can do it.

Speaker 10 I probably, years ago, I probably never thought I'd be in this position. So to actually be able to actually get in an actual game and get an opportunity like that,

Speaker 10 I didn't take it for granted. So I had to at least go in and give me one to drop and to see my name in the stats sheet and on the ESPN and things like that.
It was, it was nice.

Speaker 10 So I kind of felt like I was a D1 athlete.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. I love it, man.
Success is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. That's fucking great.
Well, snacks, thank you so much, man. We're fans of yours.

Speaker 1 We're rooting for you guys to get one in those top four seeds so we can get snacks back out there. We are at Jackson State Podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and let us know if you're ever in New York City and we'd love to have you come by the studio and hang out.

Speaker 10 Oh, most definitely. I'll most definitely let you guys know and it'll be a great opportunity.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
Thanks, man. Thanks so much.
Good luck. You guys have a great one.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 11 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht.
And the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 11 Sebastian Manascalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 2 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have Bachelor Talk for guys that don't watch The Bachelor, even though some of us do.

Speaker 1 Victoria F and Hannah Ann showed up to the rose ceremony. Madison was nowhere to be found, but eventually showed up.
Pete gave the first rose to Hannah Ann.

Speaker 1 He then asked Madison if she would accept the second rose because she said she wouldn't if he slept with other women, which he did. But she accepted the rose and

Speaker 1 boo. Victoria F goes home.
Stand by your morals.

Speaker 1 At the women's tell-all, Victoria F sat with Chris Hansen, and he asked Victoria about the allegations that she broke up multiple marriages in the past.

Speaker 1 Victoria F vehemently denied the allegations and said they never happened. Wait, what allegations are these?

Speaker 1 Apparently there's rumors on the internet that Victoria F has slept with multiple, like upwards of five of her friends' husbands in

Speaker 1 Homewrecker. Damn.

Speaker 1 A thousand little situations where it was like a kind of internet thing and then Chris Harrison was just like, is this true? Damn. Wow.
Victoria F is like everyone hates her, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's, you know, she's a little bit of a wild child. I liked her.
That's actually a good idea for a show to just call it the Homewrecker. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And have a giant mansion filled with happily married couples and then one just crazy hot chick that just comes in and just fucks. That fucks everyone.

Speaker 1 And also they destroy the house by the end of it. Victoria.

Speaker 1 With like a wrecking ball, too.

Speaker 1 The homewrecker. And then Pete sat in the hot seat.
Friday is on the Paramount Channel.

Speaker 1 Pete sat in the hot seat at the Women Tell All and he said that it was really hard dating 30 women at the same time. Oh, but

Speaker 1 he doesn't regret any of his decisions. And all the girls talked about what a valuable experience a show was for them.
Our boy Trent, who writes these recaps, was in the women's tell-all

Speaker 1 at the episode. So I asked him for

Speaker 1 his thought process from the episode, and he said his initial plan for being at the show was to not smile, laugh, or clap the entire time.

Speaker 1 It worked for the first five minutes until I started to feel like an asshole. They filmed for six hours, and it would have been impossible to not clap the whole time.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then he took a bottle to the face. And then my plan for the champagne part was to not get it all over myself.

Speaker 1 I mostly failed at that because Kelsey shook the bottle up like crazy, but I tried my best. Okay, so we're down to the final two now, right? Yep.
When's the final episode? Next week. Next Monday?

Speaker 1 Monday. Damn.
Probably like six hours long. Yeah.
Is it really? And then they announced a new bachelorette. She's like 46.
So can you gamble? Hey, we don't age shame.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 wait, kind of. Is she 40? She's not 46.
No, we don't age. She's old.
Didn't they have a commercial asking for old people? Yeah, but that's for a different show. This is the bachelorette.

Speaker 1 You should be, I don't know. I don't know.
She's 38. Okay.

Speaker 1 Once you're over 35,

Speaker 1 once you're over 35, you might as well be 46. That's kind kind of how I look at things.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Once you're over 36, you might as well be 40. There you go.
Okay, I agree. That's how I look at things.
I agree with that. 36 is the number.
I'm still in my early 30s.

Speaker 1 Victoria F, Bad Girl, Old Bachelorette coming

Speaker 1 up Pete's. And it ended with a major, a major, this is actually true.

Speaker 1 It ended with a major cliffhanger. And apparently, Reality Steve, even all the reality junkies, don't even know what's going to happen.
They're like, you're not going to want to miss next week.

Speaker 1 It's some crazy shit that's never happened before. Wait, Wait, who the fuck is Reality Steve? He's a guy that apparently just gets all the spoilers for reality shows and tweets them out.

Speaker 1 How the fuck does he do that? Why would anybody follow him? How does he do that? That's the best part. That's what you want to know.
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 So, this is the craziest thing. I used to do it for the challenge.
So, he says that this is like the craziest thing that's happened in the history of reality shows? Yeah, it's like unexpected.

Speaker 1 What about the future?

Speaker 1 You will not be able to expect what happens. What about Pumpkin spitting on hoops? Or, no, New York.
What about Puck spitting? Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 Puck was very crazy. What about Rosie getting taken to the hospital or Tech diving into the pool naked on day one? There's a lot out there.
What about CT eating Adam's brains? What about the backpack?

Speaker 1 There's a lot of things. What about Danny Bottaducci chugging vodka? So, can we bet on this? Can we bet on who do you think is going to win, Hank? I feel like it's going to be Madison.

Speaker 1 I feel like once Madison, like, took away. I'm not going to toot my own horn, but I said Madison episode one of this.
He can't go breaking Madison's heart. He gave it away.
He can't.

Speaker 1 I said that. I watched the first episode, and she said that she won four national

Speaker 1 state championships in a row in high school. And I was like, that is a heart of a champion.
Even if she doesn't like this guy, she's going to compete to win. That's a winner.

Speaker 1 And that's what she's going to do. Winner.

Speaker 1 This guy, Pete, seems like a real asshole, so I wouldn't put it past him if he

Speaker 1 got someone else pregnant. What he had going.
What?

Speaker 1 Yes. He got someone else pregnant? What else could happen where it's like this result is you'll never expect it? It's not going to be anything that you could guess.
I don't think that it's.

Speaker 1 It's clearly not going to be him picking one of the two girls because anyone would guess that. It's got to be like, oh, by the way.
Victoria F's got my child. That would be amazing.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't trust Pete Sperm. I feel like he's an impotent little prick.
Yeah, we know a Pete who can't come. That's right.
PR 101 for the Knicks.

Speaker 1 The Knicks have new guy running the show, and you'd think that everything's going to change, but you would think wrong because

Speaker 1 they have basically persecuted and made a mockery of their only fan remaining, Spike Lee.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I figure the Knicks were just going to go one by one, kicking every diehard fan out of their game. I guess it's Spike Lee's turn.
Well, he didn't get kicked out, but yeah, he.

Speaker 1 Well, they have agreed, apparently,

Speaker 1 to not let Spike Lee in through the employees' entrance anymore. Right.
There was a bit of a misunderstanding. Spike Lee thought that he was banned from the garden.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then he went on a rant and said, like, are the Knicks, am I going to die before the Knicks win another championship? The answer is yes, Spike Lee. I hate to break it to you.
Yep.

Speaker 1 You were going to die. It was also very funny watching him on first take and having everyone interview him like he had been actually assaulted.
They were like, What?

Speaker 1 So then tell us what happened next. What did James Dolan do next? And now, the extra part, which I love, because James Dolan cannot stay away from controversy.

Speaker 1 Spike Lee, the Knicks released a statement saying that Spike Lee, it's ridiculous what he's saying, what he's claiming. He and James Dolan shook hands at halftime, everything's fine.

Speaker 1 The picture is from like way up high, and Spike Lee has released a statement or texted someone that got public saying that he was set up, that James Dolan came by to specifically shake his hand very quickly so they could get the photo op from a sniper upstairs and then release it and be like, look, they're friends.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I wouldn't put it past James Dolan.
I would not at all. This happens all the time in spy movies and TV shows where you send somebody up to get that long-distance snapshot of it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Looking like something inappropriate is happening, and then boom, you've got the propaganda right there. You've got the compromise.
I would not put that past James Dolan.

Speaker 1 James Dolan has nothing better to do. If you think that James Dolan is up in his suite pondering ways to actually make the Knicks better at basketball every single game,

Speaker 1 he's planning on getting revenge against all the people that have somewhat slighted him throughout the last 36 hours, and that's a long list of people. Yes,

Speaker 1 it's great that he is spending that time. Yeah, like, hey, can we make this team better?

Speaker 1 No, let's actually just try to get propaganda photos that we can put out there in case our number one fan and the only guy who keeps defending us to probably a point where it's like ridiculous that Spike Lee's still going to these games and saying that the Knicks are going to be fine.

Speaker 1 Let's just make sure that we frame him to

Speaker 1 make this go away, which it won't. None of these stories ever go away.
They always make it worse. They actually did Spike Lee a favor by kicking him out.

Speaker 1 Like that, that's one less thing that he has to worry about.

Speaker 1 Spike Lee is going to turn into like the most optimistic film director in the history of the world now that he doesn't have to spend 40 nights every year watching the Knicks play basketball.

Speaker 1 Spike, Brooklyn,

Speaker 1 the world's pretty nice. Yeah, Brooklyn's hot.
Kyrie, KD, coming back. Just be a Nets fan.
Come right across the river. Yeah, that would be like Papa John going to Kentucky.
Yeah. It's tough.

Speaker 1 It's double blessed. Papa John.
All right. We have a Respect the Biz.

Speaker 1 To finish up before we get on, guys on Chicks. What's this Respect the Biz? Respect the Biz to Marshawn Lynch.

Speaker 1 So Marshawn Lynch was invited to speak, not at the Princeton graduation ceremony, not at commencement, but during graduation week. He was invited to give a speech to all the graduating seniors.

Speaker 1 There was an op-ed that was filed in opposition to Marshawn Lynch being invited to speak. Well, I actually agree with him.

Speaker 1 It says, Among articles that praise Marshawn's NFL career and philanthropic contributions, we came across articles discussing Lynch's reticence with the media and his terse responses at press conferences.

Speaker 1 In 2013 and 14, for example, Lynch was fined $50,000 and $100,000 for refusing to speak to the media.

Speaker 1 And during the 2015 Super Bowl Media Day, Lynch famously responded to multiple questions with variants of, I'm just here, so I won't get fined. Wow.

Speaker 1 So people are mad that he's giving a speech now when he was disrespecting the media before. Yes, exactly.
So I stand in solidarity with the Princeton students. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Essentially, they're crossing the picket line by saying, you know what? Okay, Marshawn, you didn't want to talk to the media then. We'll take you now.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, Mr. Lynch.
That's not how it works, my friend. Right, right.
So there are probably like six people that are actually upset about this and wrote a letter to the editor.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't even say six. But I would

Speaker 1 probably one person that made up five names and attached them to this letter. But thank you for taking a stand on behalf of all the capital J's out there.

Speaker 1 I finally feel like we have justice for the time that he said, I'm just here not to get fined. And I mean, it's probably just Pete Prisco that wrote this letter and then made up the principal.

Speaker 1 You're going to fuck. See ya.
See you PST. See ya.

Speaker 1 Hank, guys on checks. My fiancé is going to Vegas in two weeks, claiming that he just wants to go for March Madness and says he absolutely will not go to any strip clubs.
Do I believe him? No.

Speaker 1 It depends how old he is. No.

Speaker 1 You know how many strip clubs I went to last weekend? Zero. Zero strip clubs.
Well,

Speaker 1 it'd be, would you go? Which one would you go to?

Speaker 1 If I were to go. In the dress.
I would go to Spearmint Rhino.

Speaker 1 if i were to go uh actually no march madness i'll say 50-50 chance you might not well they also have the games on yeah true strip clubs allegedly and they all get dressed up like athletes and referees it's kind of a fun thing getting the spirit of the season sub dilf cat and pft commenter my boyfriend is a listener of your podcast and always makes comments that only listeners would get One that always gets on my nerves is when he makes fun of me by saying I can't play four quarters.

Speaker 1 The other day I couldn't finish my wings and he said, if you can't finish those wings, then you can't play four quarters.

Speaker 1 How do I get back at them?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 there's no way because you clearly don't have the stamina to get back at them.

Speaker 6 You're a fucking quitter.

Speaker 1 How about you stop quitting on everything?

Speaker 1 How about you just go to the bank and you just change a dollar for four quarters and then you throw him in his face? Yeah, here's four quarters, bitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get 400 quarters, put them in a sock, and then smack him over the face with it. Or just four or four.
That wouldn't hurt as much. I want concussion.

Speaker 1 I'll bet if you put four quarters in like pantyhose and then hit somebody in the face with it, it would sting pretty bad.

Speaker 1 It would sting, but I want concussion, so then you can be like, looks like you got to go to the concussion protocol, bitch.

Speaker 1 And now he's the one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Take away his helmet.
Sup, PM Tree crew. So I recently accidentally stumbled up.
PM tree? PMT crew.

Speaker 1 If we ever get a strain of marijuana, it would be the PM Tree. That's brilliant.

Speaker 1 So I recently accidentally stumbled upon my boyfriend's internet search history. Part of my toque.

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 PMT is better. I was shocked to find his porn history of thick black girls being general topic of search.

Speaker 1 This is the complete opposite of what I look like, and I am having trouble agreeing to my boyfriend saying, it doesn't matter, it's just porn. What should I do in this situation?

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter, it's just porn. You should never

Speaker 1 accidentally stumble upon your boyfriend as a history.

Speaker 1 You don't just stumble up. You snooped, and you got caught snooping, and then you're judging his porn.
That's not fair.

Speaker 1 Porn is really the the last place really in the world or in the United States where you can, it's just like blatantly racist all the time. Yeah.
There's so much racist stuff in porn. Yes.

Speaker 1 You should not, no one's being PC when they're typing in searches into you, Jizz. Do not snoop and do not judge.
Those are the two rules with porn.

Speaker 1 The authors of videos of porn names are some of the greatest clickbait artists of our generation.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The one that I wrote the XXXFL article about last week, it was like woman gets stuck in window.
And the entire premise of the video was a woman got stuck in a window.

Speaker 1 And then like her boyfriend came in. She's like, help, I'm stuck.
He's like, oh, yeah, hang on real quick, though. You're wearing a skirt.
And she's like, okay.

Speaker 1 And they just do it because she's stuck in a window.

Speaker 1 It was fucked. She was fucked in the window? Yeah, she was stuck halfway in, halfway out.
That's pretty sad. He was on the back end.
Did they have the shot where you can see your tits in the glass?

Speaker 1 No, because the boobs were on the other side of the window. Oh, I didn't know if they had maybe another angle.
It was like a crazy magician's trick. Yeah.
Sawed her in half.

Speaker 1 My best friend keeps getting tricked into dressing up like a guy she says she doesn't want to weird every three months she keeps getting dressed up as a guy as a prank should we have an intervention no that sounds normal totally normal yeah it sounds really normal just roll with it and maybe it's a phase and if it's not you'll support your co-host no matter what no this is about a best friend oh about your best friend yeah your best your best friend it probably got dared to do it by somebody but no one actually dared him probably got dared to do it by your friend marty that was actually the weird part that it really was for nothing other than to dress up for it.

Speaker 1 When your friend Marty dared your friend to do this, they were probably like, sure, it'll be fun, it'll make for excellent content, which it probably was.

Speaker 1 Your friend probably got a lot of laughs out of dressing up as a guy in this case.

Speaker 1 Hey guys, especially Wide Dog.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend goes to the washroom for five to ten minutes before we have sex every time. Does he need to shit pre-sex or what is he doing? He's jerking off.

Speaker 1 He doesn't

Speaker 1 last long. He's either getting a pre-rub in or he's just washing real good.
He's just fluffing himself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's just credit to him. He realizes that he's like a two-pump chump.
So he's going to double those pumps by pumping himself.

Speaker 1 Maybe he goes in and he likes his pubes at the exact same length every time, even if it's just like a quarter inch off. Yeah.
So he just takes out that same clipper. Just

Speaker 1 always looks the same. Yeah, that's beautiful.
That's it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Friday.

Speaker 1 Friday. Doug Marone and Kevin Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 How about that one?

Speaker 1 How about that? Kevin Bologna. Kevin Bologna.
How about that for a duo? Bologna and Bacon. That's pretty strong.
Pretty good. All right.
We'll see everyone Friday. Love you guys.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away,

Speaker 1 I'm not one.

Speaker 1 Say I'm staying anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is on my day to finally shine away.

Speaker 1 I'm coming for your love okay.

Speaker 1 Setting me let's just say

Speaker 1 I won't say it.

Speaker 1 But I'll be so let it wait.

Speaker 1 I'm just now learning the five is okay.

Speaker 1 Say of me,

Speaker 1 I'm better to be saved than something.

Speaker 1 Take on me all of you.

Speaker 1 Take on me all of

Speaker 1 I was coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 Take for me. Hey,

Speaker 1 hey, oh,

Speaker 1 take your

Speaker 1 take presented by Bar Stool Sports.