Adam Schefter, BitCoin 2 Gen, Combine Talk And Is Tom Brady Leaving?

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have Adam Schefter, NFL Insider, our annual interview with Sheffield. We sit down with him in Indianapolis from the combine.

Speaker 1 We broke the record for for the amount of times the word assault was said. We're going to talk a little Tom Brady.
We're going to talk a little Combine, Firefest, FAQs, a big Friday show for everyone.

Speaker 1 Last show of the first year, pardon my take.

Speaker 1 So we will, Monday will be the first, the second year. So it'll be leap.
Remember, this is a leap day, Sunday. But before we do all that, Pardon My Take is brought to you.

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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, February 27th.

Speaker 1 28th. I got that now.
That's right. And Tom Brady is officially no longer a New England Patriot.
False.

Speaker 2 According to Jeff Darlington.

Speaker 2 He is telling people in his camp, in his circle, that he is expecting to hit free agencies.

Speaker 2 So I'm reading that as Tom Brady hates everyone in the Patriots organization is looking to get out of town as fast as possible.

Speaker 1 Okay, so couple things. One, Jeff Darlington, we've met him.
We've hung out with him. Nice guy.

Speaker 1 I still get very, very angry when he has a report and I'm like, why is this NASCAR driver releasing a report about Tom Brady?

Speaker 2 He's got a NASCAR name.

Speaker 1 Pick a new profession. I don't want to hear Tom Brady news from the guy who drives like the 12-bush car at Daytona.
Okay, so that's number one. Bothers me.
P.

Speaker 2 Kat's just very jealous because he didn't get the Jeff Darlington VIP black all-access card to his party this year at the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 It was thick and metallic. You could drop it.
It was basically like the Firefest card. It was pretty sweet, but I can tell that you're still fuming about that.

Speaker 1 I wasn't even at the party, so I didn't even know that that existed.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Did you get the invite? No, I remember. I was like, I do not want to drive 45 minutes to hang out with Jeff Darlington and Mike Silver.
But you did. Okay, so number two.
Number two.

Speaker 1 I think this is all just a story because there's no real story out of the combine yet. All we've had so far from the combine is that one guy, that one guy's offensive lineman who ate a lot.

Speaker 1 I think it was Division III St. John's, Ben Bark.
He had seven eggs, cottage cheese, grits, peanut butter, banana, and a 20-ounce Gatorade all in a blender. That's our biggest news outside of that.

Speaker 1 And Jerry Judy, maybe when Ruggs runs a 4-2-40. But other than that, it's been a pretty quiet combine, so that's why we get this news today.

Speaker 2 Well, let's go back to the smoothie real quick. The Gatorade at the end is really just insane.
Like, I'm looking at the other ingredients that go into that. That calls for milk.

Speaker 2 That calls for maybe 2% milk, maybe some chocolate milk, something creamy to really smooth it out. The Gatorade, like a red Gatorade to combine all that, that's just unnecessary.

Speaker 2 But it did help him gain 50 pounds, and he went from being a tight end to now he's, I guess, an offensive tackle. But yeah, there's not a lot going on.

Speaker 2 But, I mean, the Tom Brady news, I would say, is significant news. I mean, it's like one of the best players in the last couple years of the NFL.

Speaker 2 He's had a pretty good career, and he's thinking about switching teams. I'd say like probably a top five quarterback of the modern era.

Speaker 2 So we're going to talk about it. And I put together a quick list of my power ranking, my top four teams that Tom Brady could go to that would just piss off Patriots and Patriots fans.
You ready?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Number one, New York Giants. I'm going to be my number two thing.
Oh, yeah, wait. New York Giants.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 New York Giants. Going to the New York Giants.
I think that would really piss off Hank and other New England fans. Am I right on on that one, Hank? Yes.

Speaker 2 Number two, Indianapolis. The rivalry is back on again.

Speaker 1 Would that piss you off? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Number three, Pittsburgh. And then number four,

Speaker 2 just the Buccaneers, because I actually think that they're the weirdest uniform that I could ever imagine Tom Brady in. It's no longer the Dallas Cowboys.
It's no longer the Jaguars.

Speaker 2 It's now officially in my head, the Buccaneers.

Speaker 1 Well, not to throw a challenge flag on that one, but we actually don't know what the Bucs' uniforms look like because they're changing them. Are they retooling them?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so they could maybe, maybe their new uniforms are just the Patriots' uniforms, and that's their pitch to Tom Brady.

Speaker 2 There's no law that says that you can't just steal somebody's uniform.

Speaker 1 Right. So I still think it's Vikings would be the weirdest uniform just because the purple would be jarring, but that's a good list.

Speaker 2 What if he went to the Bengals just to kind of beat the NFL in expert mode?

Speaker 1 I mean, that would be a lot of people have been saying the reverse that Bill Belichick would be interested in Andy Dalton because if you can win a Super Bowl with Andy Dalton, then everyone will say, wow, this guy can do anything.

Speaker 1 He can walk on water.

Speaker 1 Is there a part of you that thinks that Tom Brady wants to go to another team just so that he can beat the Patriots, and then he can say he beat every single team in the NFL?

Speaker 1 I think he'd be the first person to do that. Maybe Brett Favre.
Beat every single team?

Speaker 2 Brett Favre probably did it.

Speaker 1 He probably did. Drew Brees, maybe? No, because he...
Oh, yeah. Do you think he ever beat the same team?

Speaker 1 He might have thrown a touchdown against every team.

Speaker 1 Either way, let's just say that's a stat because it sounds cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he could beat every single team. Or, how about this? If he went to the Chargers and then

Speaker 2 proved once and for all

Speaker 2 who's better than Eli Manning,

Speaker 2 if he's able to win with the Chargers.

Speaker 1 So, in

Speaker 1 real talk here for a second, Peyton Manning beat every team? That makes sense. That makes perfect sense.
This has actually probably been done like 17 times, and I'm just an idiot. But in real talk,

Speaker 1 I still don't think that he's going to leave.

Speaker 1 And I know this is playing right into what Jeff Darlington was saying, his point, which was everyone needs to get over the fact that, like, in your heart of hearts, you're like, wait, he's not going to leave.

Speaker 1 There's no way.

Speaker 1 I still don't think he's going to leave. But I also am always

Speaker 1 a little cautious when it comes to these. The Kawhi thing was a perfect example.
LeBron, when he, you know, went to Miami. This is prime.

Speaker 1 If you've ever had a conversation with Tom Brady, you are now a source for a big story, and all those people talk.

Speaker 1 And I feel like Tom Brady doesn't even know what he's going to do, but his friend from five years ago is like, I'm pretty close to Tom, and I could tell you definitively he's leaving.

Speaker 1 So it's big time source season where anyone who's ever had a cup of coffee with him can be part of a story.

Speaker 2 That's very true. Hank, how are you feeling about all this? What's your poop meter at?

Speaker 1 My poop meter is probably mid-level, mid-level poop. Did it go up today? Yeah, it went up.

Speaker 1 And and I talked to some of my fellow Patriots, Compadres, in the office, and their poop meters were up, which I wasn't expecting, and that kind of raised my awareness.

Speaker 1 So, gun to your head right now, all three of us. Patriots.
Okay. Gun to your head.
PFT, what do you say?

Speaker 2 Gun to my head.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to be the guy in the media that says he's going to be a Patriot. I guarantee.
I've heard from sources close to Tom Brady, Hank, that he's going to be a New England Patriot.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, but Hank's sources actually said the opposite.

Speaker 2 But Hank is my source. Right.
Hank just said Tom Brady's going to be a Patriot. Oh, true.
So Hank is my source, and Hank is close to the Patriots.

Speaker 2 Ipso facto, I am reporting sources are telling me he's going back to the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I'll say Patriots too, because Leroy's my source. So

Speaker 1 Leroy's owner told me, which makes me believe that Leroy probably said something to him. So I'm going to say.

Speaker 1 So this podcast as a whole, we're now staking our reputation that we don't really care about. And if we're wrong, who the fuck cares?

Speaker 1 But we are staking our reputation definitively that he will still be a patriot.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I'm honestly just believing that because it's the scenario that would make me, it's the least exciting of all the scenarios. Right.

Speaker 2 And Tom Brady has always been a very unexciting, great quarterback.

Speaker 2 And so I just fit, I see this fitting the pattern where he's going to go back to New England, probably win one more Super Bowl, make me roll my eyes a bunch, and then Hank is going to hold it over us for the rest of our lives.

Speaker 1 The build up to these big free agency things, it always doesn't really deliver. So I agree with you there.

Speaker 1 We're all going to be like, oh my god, he could go here, he could go there, and then he's going to end up being, he's probably going to rebuy his house that he sold.

Speaker 1 Or he probably didn't even sell it. He's probably going to take it.

Speaker 2 No, it's on the market still.

Speaker 1 That's exactly what it's going to be. It's going to be a fucking ad for like the real estate market.

Speaker 1 He's basically going to announce that he's staying in Boston by going to his front lawn and taking the for-sale sign down. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, maybe he's just mad at his neighbor, so he's putting up a for-sale sign, having a bunch of people stop by all the time, clog up the streets with traffic.

Speaker 2 People are parking in front of his nosy neighbors' driveways.

Speaker 2 He's just probably in a good old-fashioned neighborhood feud.

Speaker 1 Yes. So, all right, so to wrap up the Tom Brady talk real quick, Hank, I have one last thing for you.
Are you prepared?

Speaker 1 Because I know you think that people are going to pick on you and Patriots fans, but are you prepared for this is just going to be a story whether you like it or not for the next month?

Speaker 1 Like, this is, it's not, there's no avoiding this. It's going to be talked about pretty much on every show.

Speaker 1 You can't, it's going to be the number one sports story until maybe March Madness gets here. Yeah, I've fully expected that since the season ended.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Any other news from the combine? We heard that maybe Phillip Rivers to the Colts, which I think you actually said on Monday's show, PFT.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Phillip Rivers has interest in the Colts and Leroy, per his sources, he's had four independent people tell him that are close to the situation.
Not making this up.

Speaker 2 These are actually people that are tied into the situation that Phillip Rivers is highly considering becoming an Indianapolis colt and that talks are kind of bubbling up under the surface i don't know what the tampering rules are so i'm not trying to get anybody in trouble but i've heard that maybe one of

Speaker 1 uh yeah probably like three or four of philip rivers children have been in touch with the colts about the daycare situation there so it looks like he's going to be going to indie interesting so uh we also went out to dinner last night we got to see doug peterson's hair up close and personal he was sitting in the bar it was awesome he's got like it's pillow soft.

Speaker 1 His hair looks so soft.

Speaker 1 I don't know what conditioner he uses, but you can just feel the softness, even though I didn't feel his hair, but I wanted to.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you could feel the softness through your eyes. It looked like a raccoon got shot directly on top of his head and just immediately went totally limp.
I wanted to walk up to him and just pet him.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes, yes.
So that was pretty much the only notable story, unless you had other things, PFT.

Speaker 2 Well, there's, I mean, there's Beargate, ongoing Trey Wingo Beargate.

Speaker 1 Oh, I forgot we had to talk about that. So I do have to talk about that.

Speaker 2 We do need to talk about this. So I've been posting every day a different bear that continues to follow me around all this damn country, won't leave me alone.

Speaker 2 And so you've got an update on the origins of the Trey Wingo bear story. You'll recall on Sunday night, or Friday night, he lied about a bear visiting his back porch.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let me just preface it by saying Trey hit me up, and I think he just, I think he's scared of UPFT.

Speaker 1 So I think that's why he hits me up because he's also hit me up before being like America's stepdad question mark. And I was like, I didn't even know what he was saying.

Speaker 1 And then I realized it was your line. I like Trey.
I think he's funny. I think he actually goes with it for the most part, except like, dude, maybe do a bong rip once in a while.

Speaker 1 But anyway, he wrote me, and he said they get bears all the time. So you remember that this was a bear situation that was like a block down from him.
The actual photo he posted.

Speaker 1 It was just four years old. So he said that Friday night, a huge one was on his porch, but ran away before he could get a pick.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he then posted the old picture of the bear on the porch and thought that the internet would be smarter to realize that it was nighttime and it was a daytime picture. He thought wrong.

Speaker 1 Now, I'm just telling you what he's telling me.

Speaker 1 He said, once again, my decision to give people credit for basic understanding of the time-space continuum was too much. And then

Speaker 2 he said, I don't like that. I don't like that.

Speaker 1 Okay, hold on. Hold on, PFT.

Speaker 1 All I'm going to say in defense of Trey here, because I've now become the defense of Trey Wingo, he then sent me a picture of another bear at night, which I don't know why he didn't just post this

Speaker 1 a year ago that was on his porch. Okay.
He should have just posted that picture. I'm looking at it right now.
It makes no sense that he didn't just post that one. Hank, you confirm?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a bear on Trey Wingo's porch. Yep.

Speaker 2 And then how do you know it's Trey's porch?

Speaker 1 It's a huge sign that says Trey's Smokeshack right behind it.

Speaker 1 No, I actually don't. And then he sent me another video

Speaker 1 of a bear running in his backyard. So Trey Wingo's point in his defense is

Speaker 1 faster than that

Speaker 1 pig. Timon and Puba or whatever.
Than the dog.

Speaker 1 Trey's point is he has bears all the time in his backyard. He did see a bear.
There was a bear.

Speaker 1 At one point,

Speaker 1 at one point,

Speaker 1 there was a bear.

Speaker 2 According to Trey.

Speaker 1 According to Trey.

Speaker 2 According to Trey Wingo, there was an actual bear.

Speaker 2 Instead of taking a picture of it, he went back and found an old picture of a bear and was just saying, this is what it, artist representation of what it might have looked like if I saw the bear during the day.

Speaker 2 So, first of all, it's bearish of Trey for him to be saying that all bears look alike and, oh, one bear is just the same as the next one.

Speaker 2 Also, let's flash back in time to the year 2017 when Trey Wingo put that same picture of that bear that was not on his porch on his Instagram.

Speaker 2 So are we to believe that Trey Wingo, every time he sees a bear, just in general,

Speaker 2 he goes into his phone, into the folder labeled my one bear pick, and then he puts that, he puts that on all social media to let everyone know that he has indeed seen another bear.

Speaker 1 Okay, again, I don't know how I became the defense for Trey Wingo, but I will play that role. I will wear that hat.
All I'm going to say is at one point there was a bear.

Speaker 1 There were many bears, actually.

Speaker 1 Why he didn't post another bear picture, I can't tell you, but I have confirmed visually that there was a bear.

Speaker 2 In a picture that he sent you. Did you do a Google reverse image search on that picture? Yes.

Speaker 1 No, you didn't. No, I would not.

Speaker 2 I would like to see the results of that coming back because I suspect that it may be lifted from Animal Planet.

Speaker 2 And furthermore, Trey, when you post a picture of a cute little bear with his cute little bear earrings climbing on your cute little porch and standing on his cute little bear paws, how many kids in Connecticut went out that night and tried to pet a bear and would see a bear walking across their backyard and be like, oh, this is a sweet little oh, it's Pooh.

Speaker 2 It's Winnie Pooh. I'm going to go scratch you under your chin, Mr.
Barrett.

Speaker 1 Trey Wingo.

Speaker 2 In his role, in his role as America's stepdad, gets on TV and tells America that it's safe to go up and pet a wild bear because they're cute and they go on his back porch.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, think of the children, Trey.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, it's fair.
Either way, I rest my case there was a bear, so I'm going to let him off the hook here.

Speaker 1 By the way, if you want to watch the interview today, barshowgold.com slash PMT, the only other topic I wanted to throw out there was Steven Seagal might have, he might be in trouble.

Speaker 1 for Bitcoin 2Gen, but we don't really have to get into it because I think we were probably implicated ourselves and we're probably going to be in the filing because we did a good job boosting it.

Speaker 2 We were never paid to promote Bitcoin to Jim. True, true.

Speaker 2 Our show, what we do on our show is

Speaker 2 we dabble in retroactive equity,

Speaker 2 in the retroactive equity space, where we talk about a product, and then if it actually becomes successful later on, then we go back and we're like, hey, remember when we talked about your product?

Speaker 2 Give us a cut of it. So we didn't get paid at the time.
We were not promoting it.

Speaker 2 And plus, I don't think think that I think Steven Seagal is off the hook on this one because you can't get arrested for fraud if the product is called This is Literally Fraud. Right.

Speaker 2 So he was very open about how fraudulent Bitcoin 2Gen was. So it's not like it's false advertising.

Speaker 1 The PDF that they had on their website that basically showed you through all their marketing material if you wanted to invest literally had a pyramid. So I don't think you can

Speaker 1 arrest someone for a pyramid scheme when they showed you the pyramid. That's actually a stupidity test.
If you bought Bitcoin 2Gen, you should be arrested.

Speaker 2 Agreed.

Speaker 2 And also, I think that it's a good thing that people have been defrauded by Bitcoin 2Gen through Steven Seagal, because if there's one group of people in America that needs to have their power severely, severely curtailed, it's probably someone who's a die-hard Steven Seagal fan who's also extremely wealthy.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 2 You just did it.

Speaker 2 Are you extremely?

Speaker 1 Not extremely

Speaker 1 extremely is probably too much, but I am a huge Steven Seagal fan.

Speaker 2 Right, but a Steven Seagal fan with a shitload of money is a very, very dangerous situation.

Speaker 1 Why are you looking at me, Hank? I don't have a shitload of money, but I.

Speaker 1 I'm teetering on being in a lot of trouble. Let's just say with Bitcoin 2Gen.

Speaker 2 Are you one percenter?

Speaker 1 I don't know. No, I'm not a one percenter.

Speaker 2 Me and Bernie are going to come after you. You're going to get me? The Bernie Rose are going to come get me.

Speaker 1 Hey, listen, I want health care for everyone. Maybe it would stop the coronavirus.

Speaker 2 Me too. I'm going to put a rose in my Twitter account right now, and I'll start harassing you.

Speaker 1 Perfect.

Speaker 1 All right. Should we get to our Adam Schefter interview? Oh, no.
We have one other story we have to talk about. PFT and DK Metcalf are in an incredible battle on Instagram that

Speaker 1 you have to have like a magnifying glass to have followed the last few rounds, but it's been a sight to see and a sight to watch the last couple days.

Speaker 2 Listen, I love DK Metcalf. He is a really good shit talker, so he's a worthy opponent.

Speaker 2 We just, I think I was showing Steven Che how to get off to a good start running a 40-yard dash, and it's all about having the same hand go back

Speaker 2 as your foot.

Speaker 2 Because I've run several 40-yard dashes extremely fast over the course of my life.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 I'm a bit of a speed demon. You might not know that.
But I was showing him how to get off to a good start.

Speaker 2 And the Barcelona Sports Instagram account, for some reason, tagged DK Metcalf and was just like, PFT will beat you in a race.

Speaker 2 I had nothing to do with that, but then DK responded, and then that began about six hours of non-stop,

Speaker 2 just quoting each other's Instagram stories. I think there were probably like 25 different replies.

Speaker 2 At one point, he called me Fabio's homeless cousin.

Speaker 1 That was probably his best friend. That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 That was good. He said, what's more embarrassing, not making the XFL or being named Eric, so he brought my dead brother into it, which is kind of messed up.
But it's still funny.

Speaker 2 But then I replied to that: if I was only able to kick as straight as you can run,

Speaker 2 so bringing up his inability to turn like an aircraft carrier. Yep, and so we just went back and forth.

Speaker 1 It was an entire afternoon, and then he also said your body is shaped like a mini fridge, which I thought was pretty good. That is good.

Speaker 2 That was good. I liked it.
He said my body was shaped like a mini fridge, but then I said, so you're saying that it looks like I can have a six-pack.

Speaker 2 And so then at that point, he was like, you know what?

Speaker 2 This has been fun, which I took as him putting the white flag up. But

Speaker 2 I think we might race. I think that

Speaker 2 we discussed this offline, me and DK. I think there might be a race involved.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 how much of a head start are you going to get?

Speaker 2 Well, I'm going to have to have a significant head start, or maybe I can just drive a car.

Speaker 2 I never specified that it was a foot race, so maybe it'll just be me driving a car. Like, it'll be who can get two blocks faster in the city of New York? Me in a car, DK running.

Speaker 1 we should get like a puma or a lion or something and put sunglasses on him like there you go dk

Speaker 1 that probably seems dangerous but it would be fun yeah it would make that was a great show man versus beast you remember that yes yes they had like michael michael johnson racing a giraffe or some shit let's do that let's absolutely do that um okay so a lot of stuff a lot of a lot of crazy things that happened the last couple hours or a couple days sorry but let's get to our interview with adam schefter and then we'll do some segments on the other side fun time talking with him.

Speaker 1 We catch up with him every year. He still doesn't have the Des tape, but we get into all that.
Before we do that,

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Okay, here he is, Adam Schefter.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests live from Indianapolis. It is our friend Adam Schefter, the Adam Schefter podcast, also an insider at NBA and NFL.
Assault.

Speaker 5 Assault, we're off. Assault.
I figured we'd start there.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's been on my mind. I was actually thinking about this before you got here.

Speaker 1 If I could sit down and talk to anyone regarding that situation, I wouldn't talk to Miles Garrett. I wouldn't talk to Mason Rudolph and say, hey, how'd that feel? Not the Pounceys, not Baker.

Speaker 1 I just want to know, Adam Schefter, assault.

Speaker 5 What was it that night?

Speaker 2 Battery. Whose battery? Whose battery?

Speaker 1 Battery?

Speaker 1 Okay, the next time I was. This is actual harm.
But

Speaker 1 were you as upset as you watched that as the assault tweet made me think you were?

Speaker 5 Basically, you're watching it, and the only thing I can think of is he just assaulted that guy. Assault.

Speaker 2 He assaulted him.

Speaker 1 Assault. It's assaulted.

Speaker 2 Can you say that again?

Speaker 5 Perfect. He assaulted him.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. The way that you just said it.
With a little animation. Assault.
Assault. Assault.
It was assault. That's going to be

Speaker 1 an assault. Oh, yeah.
We're going to beep that into it.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 We got to do it.

Speaker 1 Did you think after, I think the period is what really said it over the top, too. Assault, period.
Just something about it. That tweet might be my favorite tweet from 2019.

Speaker 5 You know, the funny thing is, I haven't seen it show up anywhere since then. Like, nobody's tweeted it at me.

Speaker 1 What do you guys have to do? Did you realize?

Speaker 5 This is the first time that anybody's brought that up since then.

Speaker 1 It is great.

Speaker 2 You can apply the tweet assault to just about anything that happens online.

Speaker 2 Anytime someone dunks on Ravel, assault is just a great reply to it.

Speaker 2 It's like something you always need to have in your back pocket.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And credit to you. I think that five years ago, Adam Schefter, probably wouldn't have had fun with it, but you did right away.

Speaker 1 You kind of took the piss out of it, which was great because then it makes it funnier where it's like, yeah, it's assault.

Speaker 5 Well, period. Again,

Speaker 5 I've been through this enough to know that it's not going to go away, that it's going to follow me around.

Speaker 5 And so now we'll just have to come up up with something again in the future, whatever that may be,

Speaker 5 to supplant

Speaker 1 assault.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it'll happen naturally at some point. So organically, in the aftermath of the assault.

Speaker 1 I personally... It's going to be like the Meow game in the world.
Yes,

Speaker 2 the only times we can say it.

Speaker 2 But after the assault,

Speaker 2 I was...

Speaker 2 Very well connected in certain league circles. And I heard that there were rumors that there may have been some tapes out there.
You're a big, the tapes exist guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, we'll get to that.

Speaker 2 We'll get get to that again in a second. But did you also hear the same rumors that there were tapes of what was said on the field just prior to the assault?

Speaker 5 I've never heard anything like that. I've never heard the tapes.
I don't know that those tapes exist.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 there are a wide array of opinions about what did and didn't happen that night. And I don't think we'll ever know what did and didn't happen.
I mean, it's amazing to me that

Speaker 5 Miles Garrett says this, says he heard it, and Mason Rudolph is vehement in his denials, and he's defended by his coach, and you've got people sticking up for him.

Speaker 2 So, who's right?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 Now, so, in terms of Miles Garrett going forward, I can't believe we're still doing Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph in this whole assault thing months later.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was assault.

Speaker 2 This is quite a night.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad I didn't go to bed for that. Well, really, the only thing.

Speaker 5 No, that's the funny thing: I actually did.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you woke up, and that was the first thing you thought.

Speaker 1 Dad even makes that shit. I said, and I go, that's a salt.

Speaker 5 That's a salt.

Speaker 1 You're like one of those precogs in minority reports. You were asleep in your pool.

Speaker 2 And you're like, wait, there's a crime that's about to happen.

Speaker 5 Like you're dozing off.

Speaker 5 I was dozing off. I was watching it.
There's a TV in my closet. And my wife.
This is true. Yeah, this is dead.
This is true. More information than you thought.

Speaker 1 You've been a long time getting dressed. My wife.

Speaker 5 Is there one of your bathrooms? No, my wife, while she watches her housewife shows and all of her Bravo, I go into my little closet with a little TV and I watch Thursday Night Football.

Speaker 5 And oftentimes, to be perfectly frank, I'll be sitting in my chair and I'm watching the screen and I just kind of doze off. And I happen to doze up and I woke up.
I'm like, what the heck?

Speaker 5 What the heck just happened?

Speaker 1 So you were watching this in your closet in a tiny TV, woke up, assault. Salt.

Speaker 1 That's all. That's so much better.
That's so much better.

Speaker 2 That adds so much color to the screen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's also like,

Speaker 1 that, this is obviously going to be very something that's not relatable to like the wider audience, but in terms of content creators, there's nothing worse than when you wake up and something big has happened.

Speaker 1 And you're like, wait, what? I slept through Kevin Ware's leg injury. I literally took a nap during it and woke up.
Oh, my God. Are you okay? And I'm not okay, but the time froze.
I woke up.

Speaker 1 I was like, why is there no time on? Like, why has there only been 30 seconds that have gone by? And I've been asleep for 30 minutes. And then I realized Kevin Ware, the whole injury.

Speaker 1 But that is the worst feeling, waking up and be like, what just happened?

Speaker 5 Jolted awake. Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's a sensory assault. assault.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's a big time sensory assault.

Speaker 2 People live life on the West Coast is they wake up and it's noon on the East Coast and they've already missed who knows how many examples of assaults on the West.

Speaker 5 That's one of the challenging parts of being on the West Coast.

Speaker 5 Either you're getting up late, I can't even imagine. The world is going on.

Speaker 5 Stock markets crash.

Speaker 1 You would freak if you lived on the West Coast.

Speaker 5 Well, it'd be a different deal. You'd freak.

Speaker 1 You'd be freaky.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't know that I could live there.

Speaker 1 No, you would be freaking. Yeah, we were lucky enough that I had bet the second half of that game, so that's why we were still watching.

Speaker 1 Because I was like, oh my God, they could still score a backdoor cover or something. And then assault happened.

Speaker 1 You just mentioned something that I want to do a follow-up question. What's your favorite real housewives?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 5 I watch the New York one. I watch New Jersey.

Speaker 1 Do you like Bethany?

Speaker 5 I do like Bethany.

Speaker 1 I don't like you then.

Speaker 5 You don't like her?

Speaker 2 She got divorced from the Countess, the Count, and she still calls herself a Countess.

Speaker 5 No, that's not Bethany.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Sorry.
Oh, yeah. Bethany

Speaker 1 Margarita girl. Yeah,

Speaker 1 Luann. Do you like Luann? Sorry, that's what I meant.

Speaker 1 I think Luann likes it. I think Luann likes herself a lot more.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
So you're New York and New Jersey. That's kind of me.
Sometimes throwing a little OC, but they're firing all the women out there, so it's going to be weird.

Speaker 5 New Jersey, New York, yeah. Bethany,

Speaker 5 the guy she got divorced from on TV, he seemed like the nicest guy in the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they don't. I mean,

Speaker 1 that's crazy that a reality television show didn't really show like the person's true personality one way or the other. Oh, really? I can't believe that.
It's not all legit.

Speaker 1 It's not like the real world.

Speaker 2 The only thing that happens on the real world is it's real.

Speaker 1 That's why they call it the real world. I don't know about that guy, but the five minutes I saw him in a heavily edited program, I think he was a good guy.

Speaker 2 I have some questions that I'd like to make some news on, some headlines.

Speaker 2 How are teams taking extra precautions to combat against the coronavirus?

Speaker 1 Oh, good question.

Speaker 5 That is not filtered into the NFL just yet.

Speaker 1 So that's the headline. It's coming.
It's coming, right?

Speaker 2 We need to have one team be like, yeah, we're making all our players wear masks, masks during rookie orientation or something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Next question to make some headlines.

Speaker 2 Give me a sleeper team for Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 5 A sleeper team? See, the thing is.

Speaker 1 Give us a list. Give us the list first.

Speaker 5 You start with the Patriots. You mix in the Titans, the Raiders, the Chargers.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Which means he'll probably sign with some other team that we don't even have listed, right? Right.

Speaker 1 So give us that sleeper. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What team would you be like would happen and you wouldn't you would be shocked, but not, oh my God, Tom Tom Brady signed with the Browns or something like that.

Speaker 5 I don't have a sleeper for you because I.

Speaker 1 I have one for you.

Speaker 5 Go ahead. Give it to me.
All right. How about he goes to Detroit?

Speaker 5 Played ball to Michigan. Don't see it.

Speaker 1 He's going to go home to Michigan. Yeah, Matt Patricia.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 5 Does Leroy have a sleeper team?

Speaker 2 Leroy's got a couple of sleeper teams. Yeah, he was thinking maybe the Panthers.

Speaker 5 Don't see it.

Speaker 1 That's credit to you, by the way. You also handle Leroy, and anytime we break news, a lot better than you did a few years ago.
No, it's serious. You got mad about Mike McCarthy.
I remember that?

Speaker 1 You were really mad. No, I wasn't.
Oh, you remember? Oh, you were mad about Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 2 Big mad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You were mad.
You're like, who are these guys?

Speaker 2 Who are they talking to? Because we got all the details right for it.

Speaker 2 And actually, that night is really what spawned Leroy in the long term because I got temporarily addicted to breaking news after the high of breaking that McCarthy story. Wow.

Speaker 2 And you know the feeling. Do you still get a rush when you get a story before everybody?

Speaker 5 I mean, that's, yeah, there's adrenaline that kicks in. It's a fun feeling.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 that's a nice feel, right? You like it? Leroy likes it.

Speaker 2 Leroy's chasing it. Yeah, like it's a car.
He's just... And then once you get it, you kind of put your phone down for a second.
You're like, oh,

Speaker 2 you smoke a cigarette. Yeah.
Take a nap. Make yourself a sandwich.

Speaker 1 Who are you beefing with these days?

Speaker 1 In Rappaport, you had Mort tweet out the rat gif,

Speaker 1 which might have just meant that he's a Pete Buttigieg guy.

Speaker 5 i i didn't have more tweet out anything okay right and ratgate ratgate uh

Speaker 1 rats rataport what about florio you good with florio right now fine with florio do you if you see florio what how long does that conversation last

Speaker 5 not long

Speaker 2 okay so okay you're fine with florio yeah well there was there was a little bit of a back and forth and this is probably the least interesting media feud of all time but like a week ago you guys got into it based on like the verbiage of a dan graziano report of the fncia is giving a deadline or something What happened was my boss called me in the afternoon, and it was like five o'clock, or he goes, What did you report that you're being questioned and criticized on for

Speaker 1 about what was it about?

Speaker 2 It was like the NFL has set like a deadline for the NFL.

Speaker 5 Oh, right, that's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't remember ratified by myself. And I said,

Speaker 5 I don't even report anything today. What are you talking about?

Speaker 5 And so

Speaker 5 that morning I woke up and ESPN puts out a news wire with like links to the stories.

Speaker 5 And I saw something that they put out the latest on the CBA talks or whatever it was, which I guess Dan had written. I didn't even know.
I looked at it.

Speaker 5 I said, okay, well, let me put it out there in the morning. It was 6.30, 7 in the morning.
Never thought anything of it.

Speaker 5 And at 5 o'clock, my boss is like, well, they're saying that you reported this all day. I'm like, I haven't reported a single thing.
I posted a link to an ESPN story that was written. Right.

Speaker 5 And so,

Speaker 5 again, it was repeatedly referred to me reporting something. And all I said was, simply put, I never reported this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But isn't everything, by the nature of your job, everything you say is you're reporting it. Like, you just reported that to us.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 So if I put out a tweet from another person, a link to their story, then I'm reporting that. So if I...

Speaker 2 You're reporting that Dan Graziano has reported.

Speaker 1 You're reporting that there's a new story out there.

Speaker 2 I'm validating Dan Graziano's report.

Speaker 5 That's what you're saying, right?

Speaker 1 You have, yeah, like the retweets don't count as endorsements that people put in their Twitter bio. I think think everything you say counts as a story.

Speaker 1 A journalist, like when you tweet something, that is reporting it. You are a reporter.

Speaker 5 That's fair. Like, I shouldn't be reporting it if I'm not

Speaker 5 backing or believing that, right?

Speaker 2 It's a compliment to the job that you've done for yourself that you've built yourself up into this like breaking news juggernaut.

Speaker 2 But now it's like a double-edged sword because we hold you to that standard of breaking news with everything that you say.

Speaker 5 And that's fair. I understand that.
But I just didn't report that that day.

Speaker 1 Do you ever have fear that you will report something and have it be wildly wrong and that'll be it that'll be curtains on chefty

Speaker 5 oh i mean you live with that fear like

Speaker 1 um talk about that fear let's get into that fear well it's it's it's it's it's it's deep eight cat

Speaker 5 like you yeah you dreams about it like you know but you i mean listen uh I mean, I could think of a couple things right away. Like, I remember filing a story on a Friday afternoon.

Speaker 5 Coaches remember plays and reporters remember stories.

Speaker 1 Shit, we should have done the Sean McVay thing. Oh, yeah,

Speaker 5 and I could tell you the details around. I remember it was a Friday afternoon, it was about 3:30, and I filed to the desk that the 49ers were hiring Jim Harabaugh as their head coach.

Speaker 5 And I filed to the desk, and I don't remember who it was, but someone that covers college football for his pain emailed me back: hey, congratulations, you know, good story.

Speaker 5 And I said, Hold on, let's just wait till it's announced.

Speaker 5 He goes, Wait, you filed, yeah, I know, but you just want to see it true.

Speaker 1 Like you always hold your breath.

Speaker 5 Like, hey, last summer, Andrew Luck,

Speaker 5 I'm at my

Speaker 5 mother-in-law's surprise 75th birthday party in upstate New York. We sit down at the table.

Speaker 5 Somebody texts me, you're free?

Speaker 5 And I thought to myself, I just sat down literally at the surprise party for my mother-in-law's 75th birthday. I said, everything okay? And they said, well, just had some information to pass along.

Speaker 5 So I called the person,

Speaker 5 Andrew Lux can retire on Sunday.

Speaker 5 Though it turned out to be Saturday. And so

Speaker 5 I put out the story, and literally,

Speaker 5 the very first call that I got 60 seconds after reporting it was from Matthew Hasselback.

Speaker 5 And Matthew Hasselback says to me, all worked up, you sure?

Speaker 5 And am I sure about what? You sure Andrew's retiring? I said, well, yeah, I sent in the story. And he goes, well,

Speaker 5 he goes, I don't know that. And I know they're friendly.
He goes, I was just with him the last two days in Indianapolis. And he didn't mention a single word about it to me.

Speaker 1 And I thought to myself, oh, my God.

Speaker 5 Like, for a moment, your heart, well, not for a moment, for longer than a moment, your heart drops. Right.
And you're like, oh, my God. Like,

Speaker 5 did I just get something wrong?

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's interesting because that must, like, do you ever feel bad? Because I remember that whole timeline.

Speaker 1 Andrew Luck wasn't going to do it, and then he was kind of forced to and got booed against the Bears and the Priests.

Speaker 1 Do you ever feel bad, or is that just, hey, listen, when I have a story?

Speaker 5 I'm not thinking of how it's going to work out for them. Listen, in that particular case,

Speaker 5 it was supposed to be Sunday. I'm at the party.
I get the story. Am I supposed to wait?

Speaker 5 I called a few people, let them know, hey, this is going to come. This is going to come.
This is going to come. I'm not going to say, well,

Speaker 5 let me finish the game. right let

Speaker 5 again i had no idea where the game was right i'm in puremont new york at an italian restaurant at a birthday party i gave a heads up to various people i reported it

Speaker 2 and and let the chips that's my job right yeah right so do you have any rules for yourself if you're at a party you've had a few glasses of wine it's like hey adam don't drink and scoop

Speaker 2 i never thought of that like have you like have you ever stop yourself and you're about to break a story and you're like, wait a second, I've had like half a bottle of Chianti.

Speaker 2 Maybe I should ask for like a second opinion on this story.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 another fact, my wife has never seen me drunk in 14 years of marriage.

Speaker 1 Whoa, wow. Okay.

Speaker 5 So that's, I've never, I've never, um, I've never

Speaker 5 drinked.

Speaker 2 What if you're just really high?

Speaker 1 Like super fucked up. Like, we're not even talking weed.
We're talking like dust cleaner. Wow.
Yeah. Yeah.
What if you're in the basement? In the basement, like a big tube of airplane glue. Right.

Speaker 1 And that were the case.

Speaker 5 If that were the case,

Speaker 5 I'd have to seek counsel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you would also stop.

Speaker 5 You can't do something recklessly.

Speaker 1 But would you tweet?

Speaker 5 Well, if you have the story, you'd have to.

Speaker 2 It's the truth no matter what. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the truth above all else.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had a story that you filed to assignment desk and then it took too long to get verified and you're like, these guys have screwed me?

Speaker 5 On the dead? No, the desk is great.

Speaker 5 that's on me I mean it comes back to me like I got to get the story in

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 5 you know you there's a chance you'll lose the story right and they turn it around just like that yeah but once you follow it to the desk you you then could tweet it out oh you could tweet filed too that's a nice loophole I forgot about that but it's funny when I first got to ESPN I got to ESPN in August of 2009

Speaker 5 and I joined Twitter in June of 2009, two months before I got TSPN. And I remember getting that summer like this guideline of tweet tweet policies.

Speaker 5 And when ESPN initially came out with like its first policy, it was like, everything must be filed to the desk.

Speaker 5 You then must wait five minutes before you, like, it was a whole big list of things that I don't know where it came from, and I don't know what happened to those rules. Right.

Speaker 2 And if they probably weren't put in place for like any real reason, they were just like, we should have a Twitter policy, so let's just make one up.

Speaker 5 Well, the Twitter policy went into effect, and

Speaker 5 I don't remember very much about it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this is a perfect loophole for Leroy. You need to start doing that.

Speaker 1 This, instead of saying sources say, filed to desk, say filed to desk, and then if you get it wrong, you just reply, desk denied it. The desk cleared it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, the desk, no, the desk denied it because you filed it, which is fact. Uh-huh.
And then.

Speaker 2 I don't want Leroy to pass the buck. I want the desk to be the ones that are ultimately culpable if it's false.

Speaker 1 Right. That's what you stamp on.
Hold on.

Speaker 5 Once you're putting your stamp on it, once you're sending it to Leroy, the desk, whatever.

Speaker 1 But what if the desk says, no, that story's bogus? Leroy, all he did was file a story.

Speaker 2 And the desk put it out.

Speaker 1 The desk verifies it, so if it ends up being wrong. Leroy has to verify it.
Well, the desk could be like, sorry, this isn't right.

Speaker 5 If Leroy is as much of a hound dog as we think he is,

Speaker 1 what does the desktop news hound?

Speaker 1 How many people at the desk?

Speaker 2 Do they take piss breaks? Is there actually a desk?

Speaker 1 Is it one giant desk with like a little news desk? And imagine like a little old lady clicking.

Speaker 5 They make sure

Speaker 5 when certain things are happening that you're not jumping the gun, that you know, that this is vetted out, that the proper steps are being taken, that did you check this?

Speaker 5 And once they sign off on it, like

Speaker 5 there's a lot of examples.

Speaker 1 Do you give a Christmas tip to the desk?

Speaker 5 I send cookies this year, big

Speaker 5 cookies.

Speaker 2 You got to leave a little scratch. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a little Sony inside. How many people are on the desk?

Speaker 1 Seven, eight people.

Speaker 5 Seven, eight, nine, ten people.

Speaker 1 He's like the final boss of journalism.

Speaker 1 You need a desk. You guys should do

Speaker 1 an interview with the desk. Absolutely.

Speaker 5 But there's a lot of people there. I mean, there's a lot of people.

Speaker 2 I'm more concerned about the desk, really, itself, than the people that work there. Like for Chris, you get one of those.

Speaker 1 It's a whole area. It's like

Speaker 1 many desks. We just call it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, everybody's got their own desk.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. The news business.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everyone's got desk. What about a bureau?

Speaker 2 What's the difference between a bureau and a desk? Like when you hear somebody say, like, there's North American News Bureau.

Speaker 5 The Bureau sounds fancy. Like, the Bureau sounds like, you know, that sounds like a place where you go live some

Speaker 5 secret life and you have expense counting. You go do whatever you want

Speaker 5 in the North American Bureau, in the London Bureau. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's an idea. For Christmas, like, the quarterbacks that buy their offensive linemen nice gifts, you should buy them a sick new desk.

Speaker 2 But then it's not the desk. Then it's his desk.

Speaker 1 No, but it's a desk.

Speaker 5 You got a new desk. But then we got to supplant the ESPN, like the company equipment.
Like, I'm not a dick guy.

Speaker 1 There's no bureaucratic red tape of the ESPN. You can get that done in two seconds.
Speaking of

Speaker 5 we can't bring in food from the outside.

Speaker 2 This is easy. Speaking of red tape, did you spell check it when you tweeted out that your bosses made you say ESP or Disney Plus is going to change lives?

Speaker 5 Did I misspell something?

Speaker 2 No, did you spell check it? Like when they sent you the text that everyone at ESPN had to tweet out at the exact same time and you copied and pasted it?

Speaker 5 I had that tweet first, I believe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you broke it. Oh, you broke it.
You broke that. I broke it.

Speaker 1 Speaking Speaking of which,

Speaker 2 did it change your life? 100%. Disney Plus?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Speaking of which, why didn't you have the Bob Iger scoop?

Speaker 5 Well, I had that. I actually broke that to our Bureau of National.

Speaker 1 You did?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 5 the funny thing, yesterday, we were after we wrapped up NFL Live.

Speaker 5 We're sitting around our little self-created desk. There's that term again in LucasOil Stadium.

Speaker 5 And we're sitting around, and it's about 10 of us, all the people here, the producers. And

Speaker 5 I said, Bob Iger just resigned. Wow.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. So, you broke the news to the group.

Speaker 5 Yes, I did. That's a thrill.

Speaker 5 I don't care whether you're breaking news to the desk, a group, to Leroy, to you guys.

Speaker 5 It's just fun. Right.
It's just fun, man.

Speaker 1 What about morbid news, though? Is that always is.

Speaker 5 That's not fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My dad does that to me all the time.
He's like, hey, my wife is.

Speaker 5 My wife just wants to.

Speaker 1 When it comes to sad news, my wife.

Speaker 5 Fuck. If I tell her something like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why are you telling me? Yeah, why are you bumming me out? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think he's just addicted to breaking news the same same way. And sometimes, like, whatever your beat is, your beat is, right?

Speaker 1 Sometimes people have the beat of just

Speaker 1 saying who's getting

Speaker 1 terminal illness.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 5 it's the rush of

Speaker 5 just dispensing information. Just letting somebody else.

Speaker 1 What about weather?

Speaker 2 Are you like a weather news breaker to your kids? Are you like, hey, be safe, there's a thunderstorm?

Speaker 2 My dad was like that a lot when I was a kid.

Speaker 5 My daughter's pretty obsessed with the weather. Like, she's always checking that kind of thing.
So she's the weather news breaker in the family when she breaks it to you.

Speaker 2 She's got that. Do you feel slighted when somebody breaks news to you, like to your face?

Speaker 5 Well, you never like to have any news broken to your face. Like, you're telling me there's two inches of snow in Indianapolis?

Speaker 5 Like, the guy that told me that this morning, you blew my morning a little bit.

Speaker 2 But if I were to break news right now and be like, hey, breaking news, Tom Brady is going to the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 2 You would look at me and you'd be like, I don't like that. I don't like what you just did to me.
Well, you just broke that news on me.

Speaker 5 You know, you know, like one of my bosses would text me. He's like,

Speaker 5 did you see that with Brady? I'm like,

Speaker 5 I text him, like don't do that to me don't like did you see like it's it tell me what it is like don't make my heart drop don't rattle me like that like just let me know what it is yeah hey did you did you hear about the trade like don't I don't want to hear did you hear about the trade I want to hear this guy got traded that's not fair yeah because you have missing scoop phobia it'd be like right someone who's scared of spiders and just handing them a spider being like look at this that sucks scubophobia yeah uh speaking of your scubophobia that's it affects many people is how's your daughter's journalism career it's that's

Speaker 5 i did love that it's fun yeah right as a dag you understand yes and there's nothing better than bringing your daughter to events like you took her down to the pro bowl um

Speaker 5 we're flying down and wait not the super bowl no the original idea i don't know the original idea was for her to do media at night for espn they wouldn't credential her

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you guys know about that?

Speaker 2 They would have thrown her out on the street.

Speaker 5 We should actually

Speaker 1 get a kid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should get a kid to ask all of our questions

Speaker 2 here. Just adopt a kid.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 5 You want Dylan?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, can she answer the hard-hitting questions?

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Yeah, we're it. We'll adopt her dynamo.

Speaker 5 Absolutely. She's on the ball.

Speaker 1 What's the percent chance that you get the Brady scoop?

Speaker 1 Are you in the running?

Speaker 1 Well, if you're a reporter, you're in the running.

Speaker 1 I would assume Brady seems like the type of guy.

Speaker 5 The world we live in, though, the world we live in, like somebody's going to say, oh, I'm hearing Tom Brady is possibly going to Tennessee, and then he signs with Tennessee, and then, oh, that person will say they got it first.

Speaker 1 Right. But who do you think, like, if you had to guess right now, who's going to get it, who's the closest to Brady's camera under the Patriots? Leroy? Leroy's going to be.
Leroy's going to get it.

Speaker 2 See, Leroy might actually get it because I might just tweet out right now, Tom Brady is expected to stay with the New England Patriots next year per sources.

Speaker 2 Knowing filed to the desk, knowing that that's like 60% likely, and then just squatting on that. Lock your account.

Speaker 1 That's what you do.

Speaker 2 Did I lock the account?

Speaker 1 And then delete all the ones that aren't right. So have them go to all the teams.
Right.

Speaker 2 Then there could be a material change after the fact, which I'm sure you're aware of. But that's kind of my secret to breaking news: you just kind of take a guess.

Speaker 1 Put it out there. Right.
And then that's the thing. And sometimes you're right.

Speaker 5 Right, exactly. And if you're wrong, nobody will remember, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, do you actually get into the plane tracking stuff? Because that's one, I feel like ESPN needs a dedicated, like, message board diehard that knows exactly how to track flights.

Speaker 5 I'm not technologically sophisticated enough to do that kind of thing. That's why we have Field Yates.

Speaker 5 He can do the tracking of the Field in the field, tracking the planes.

Speaker 5 It just seems like it's right.

Speaker 2 I can imagine Field just in a room, a dark room by himself with a red light, just sweating like he's in a submarine, just tracking planes all over the United States.

Speaker 5 He's my designated plane tracker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the crazy thing about Fields is like, he's got a name that I I thought he was like 70 years old.

Speaker 1 Whenever I heard it, I was like, Phil Yates, that guy's ancient. He's like a colonel

Speaker 1 in the Civil War.

Speaker 5 And his wife has got the greatest name.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 5 Again, it's...

Speaker 5 Am I like,

Speaker 1 yeah, he's a friend of ours.

Speaker 5 You guys are like, she texts him to say, like, am I going to be able to do that?

Speaker 1 No, I talk about Jates. He posts it all the time on Instagram, so I think it's fair.

Speaker 5 Chapin.

Speaker 1 That's a good name. And Shup Yates.

Speaker 5 Right, exactly. Is that Chapin Yates? And that's great.
You know what she was before she became Chapin Yates? She was Chapin Duke.

Speaker 1 You don't change my name from Duke.

Speaker 1 What is that? Dude, Field should have been Duke. Field Duke.

Speaker 1 Now he's like an Austrian World War II. Or

Speaker 1 flipped his name. He should have been Duke Field.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. That's a porn star name.

Speaker 1 Duke versus the Field versus the middle name. Duke Field.

Speaker 1 Duke versus the Field. Every day he's, you know, every year.

Speaker 5 But there's so many combinations of Field, Duke, Duke Field, Yates, Chapin, Chapin Yates. Yeah.
We could do a lot of things with both their names. I'm just telling you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're missing out.

Speaker 2 Like, Like, any combination of those sounds like the guitar player for Johnny Cash. That's what I hear.
I'm like, field chapin. Yeah, you could be, you could play in a country western band for sure.

Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Let's do some more quarterbacks. Yeah.
Jameis Winston. Where is he going to be? Just a guess.
Now, these are all guesses. These are not.

Speaker 1 These are not.

Speaker 1 These are not

Speaker 1 set in stone, but give us a guess.

Speaker 5 I don't like to give guesses. Okay.

Speaker 1 You know what? But if you were to give a guess. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 You know why? If I give a guess, then it becomes a headline.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 And then it's just a guess, and so I'm guessing a headline.

Speaker 2 Give me a sleeper, Jameis Winston team. Yeah.
I think you're starting to realize that the trick of us asking for sleepers is just to make headlines.

Speaker 5 It's bullshit. Jameis Winston, returning to the bus.
We can make headlines in other areas.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's one. Two one.

Speaker 2 What NFL team do you think is next in line on the Condoleezza Rice shortlist?

Speaker 5 Well, you want the full story there? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I really do. Because when you made it up that the Cleveland Browns are really interested in hiring a coverage,

Speaker 1 because you know what?

Speaker 2 As our head coach, I hope you're not.

Speaker 1 I was wondering whether you remember that. I hope you remember your lie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 That was maybe the most preposterous breaking news story of my lifetime.

Speaker 1 Of my life. Then you want the story back to the back story.

Speaker 2 And I hope that happens, but yes, please tell me.

Speaker 5 Do you want the backstory? Please. The 100%

Speaker 5 truthful, honest backstory. Yep.
So that week, the Browns fire Hugh Jackson.

Speaker 5 They have a press conference in which their general manager at the time, John Dorsey, is quoted as saying, We're going to look under every rock and turn over every stone to get the best candidate, even if it's a woman.

Speaker 5 That was on Tuesday or Wednesday. So that Friday, as we're getting ready for the Sunday shows, I said, Let me call a couple of the Browns decision makers.

Speaker 5 I'm not going to name any names, but there's been enough change in the organization that I feel like it's okay to now tell this story.

Speaker 1 Swagger died.

Speaker 5 People shuffled in, people shuffled out.

Speaker 2 I called the homeless guy that told him to draft Johnny Manzel.

Speaker 5 So, anyway, so I called somebody that would have been involved with the search, and I said,

Speaker 5 you guys brought up the fact that you're going to look at every candidate, including women. Is there a woman that you want to interview? And they said, yes, Condoleezza Rice.

Speaker 5 And I said, am I allowed to report that? And they said, let me think about that. And that afternoon, the Browns called me back and said, yes, you can report that.

Speaker 5 And on Saturday, The person who told me called me said, you're using that tomorrow, right? And I said, yeah. He said, that's going to be great.
Can't wait to see the reaction. I said, great.

Speaker 5 On Sunday, I report. The Browns would like to talk to Condoleezza Rice.
It's one of the candidates they'd like to talk to.

Speaker 5 And an hour later, the Browns released a statement, we've never talked about Condoleezza Rice.

Speaker 1 Oh, they got messing with you. Do you think they were doing that on purpose?

Speaker 5 I think what happened was, is that you'll remember when it happened, the internet kind of broke. Yep.

Speaker 1 You broke the internet.

Speaker 2 People were like, What are they doing?

Speaker 5 And no, they just want to get ideas. Like, that's all it was.
It wasn't like they're hiring Condoleezza. Condoleezza Rice was a person that they had interest in talking to, getting her perspective.

Speaker 5 And you know what? In the world we live in, that's probably wise. Could she have been any worse than what they've done? No.

Speaker 1 True. Okay.
That's probably accurate. Good point.

Speaker 2 But she's never coached football. So wasn't that a red flag?

Speaker 5 So now right now

Speaker 5 one of the Browns, we're going to release a statement that just says this. I said, what?

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 2 So a couple of theories on that. One, either you had made an enemy.

Speaker 5 Do you think I would have made a, like, where would that have come from?

Speaker 2 It was so preposterous. That was the most logical explanation.
Was that you just had a fever dream? You were down in your basement with your airplane glue and you're like, oh, God, the league rights.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 2 So either somebody was messing with you, or they were, no, you don't think that they were messing with you?

Speaker 5 100% not.

Speaker 2 Okay. Or they were trying to find a leak in the front office.
And so Dorsey gave somebody that breadcrumb and was like, hey, if this gets out in the news, I know exactly who's leaking.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Is the person that told you still there?

Speaker 1 We don't know.

Speaker 1 All I said,

Speaker 1 I'm not interested in enough turnover.

Speaker 5 I will just say this to you. There's been enough turnover there.

Speaker 1 I don't put a pen in that one. Yeah, go ahead, Biggie.

Speaker 2 That would be sweaty.

Speaker 1 Turnover. All right.

Speaker 2 How come you didn't get...

Speaker 5 Let's put it this way. The person who told me was directly involved in the search process.

Speaker 1 We'll just say that, okay? Okay.

Speaker 2 But was there a second that you stopped and you were like, hey, I know that this person just told me this, but maybe I should take a step back and think about, like, are they really going to hire?

Speaker 5 Well, I did, right?

Speaker 5 And then the person called me back back Saturday and we talked about what was going to come out on Sunday uh-huh so to me that sounds like that person was very thirsty to get that scoop out do you ever have like a no no it wasn't thirsty it's just it was again initially they they contemplated whether they were willing to have that information go public because again we discussed it and I said if you're uncomfortable let me know and they could no we're good interesting do you ever have a like a spidey sense that goes off though when somebody's being like a little too thirsty to try to get you this certain scoop and you have to think, like, wait, what's their angle on this?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, you know, how a certain thing, you've been through this, I've done this for 30 years, you have a sense, just a certain instinct for what's legitimate, what's not, what's an agenda-driven item, what's not, what's real, what's not.

Speaker 5 Doesn't mean you're always right. I mean, you're human, you can make mistakes, but in that particular case, it was as

Speaker 5 honest as it could be.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, I got one last question.
CC. By the way,

Speaker 5 did that clear up the condoleezza? Yeah, I just

Speaker 1 said it wasn't like we thought it was a bit of a drink. exactly.
Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Slam of H in your driveway.

Speaker 2 And then you walked inside and saw

Speaker 2 Fahrenheit 9-11 on TV, and you're like, oh, this is happening.

Speaker 1 Good. I haven't gone viral in a while.
Let me figure out what I can do.

Speaker 5 And I think next year I'm going to have.

Speaker 5 If the Jaguars do get rid of Doug Marone, they're going to interview.

Speaker 1 No, we don't root for that.

Speaker 5 They're going to interview Elizabeth Warren.

Speaker 1 There it is. Okay.
Perfect. As first reporter.

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Speaker 2 I have to check in. It's, I think we're five, six years now.
Where the fuck is the des tape, dude?

Speaker 5 We'll go back to that.

Speaker 1 I mean, why? You said you had the desk tape.

Speaker 5 I never said I had the desk.

Speaker 1 You said you would release the desk tape. Here, I'll do a new one.
If you don't even want to do the des tape, give me the bigger name in the Robbercraft hand job gate.

Speaker 1 You said there was a bigger name.

Speaker 1 I remember these things. I'm waiting.

Speaker 2 It would be funny if you told us last year at the Kanban.

Speaker 5 You said at the outset of this that I'm a recurring guest. So if and when we do this again next year, you will ask me about the des tape and you will ask me.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're just going to keep adding to it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You told us last year that you would give us the bigger name in the in-hand job tape. You didn't.

Speaker 1 We have not had a bigger name.

Speaker 2 Kid Rock.

Speaker 1 What if it was Adam Schefter? Oh.

Speaker 2 Will you deny that it was you? Damn.

Speaker 1 Will you, will you, yeah. Will you say that it 100% was not you that got a hand job in South Florida? Correct.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I'm not going to say the same thing about Dave Courtnoy, but I'm just going to say

Speaker 1 great line. Great line.

Speaker 1 All right. So, Adam, we're going to be on your podcast on Monday.
We're going to air this Friday.

Speaker 1 Oh, one last question.

Speaker 1 Give me like an assault meter on a couple things. You're walking.
I intentionally trip you.

Speaker 5 Assault.

Speaker 1 I say to you dead in the eye, hey, Adam, I'm going to kill you, motherfucker.

Speaker 5 Not assault. That is assault.

Speaker 1 That's assault. Disambiguate.
I can't trust you because it's verbal assault. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Verbal assault. I walk up behind you.

Speaker 2 You're on TV. I give you a wet willy.
Oh. And you pee yourself.

Speaker 5 Annoying is crazy.

Speaker 2 Not assault, though. Not assault.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 2 debatable.

Speaker 1 Okay, what about if I see in the hallway and I give you just maybe a little hip check? Like, nothing big.

Speaker 5 Assault? Unnecessary roughness.

Speaker 1 Unnecessary roughness. Okay.
And one.

Speaker 2 I steal both your phones and I throw them in the trash can, like the trash can on fire.

Speaker 5 That might be assault. Felony.

Speaker 1 Oh. Felony.
Yeah. You think so? Felonious.

Speaker 2 Are you still on two phones, or have you upgraded to three?

Speaker 5 Two.

Speaker 1 You should get them insured. Like, you know how Jean-Cog Van Damme had to get his hands insured? You should get those insured.
Yeah. Just in case.

Speaker 2 I got a new phone last week, and it freaked me out because some of my texts were going to my old phone. Some were coming to my new one.
Do you have a phobia about upgrading your phones?

Speaker 5 When you change it, it is awkward.

Speaker 5 It takes a long time to get used to. I had an incident for the first time one of my phones fell in the toilet.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Assault.
Well, how'd that happen?

Speaker 1 Self-assault. Self-assault.
You can self-assault yourself.

Speaker 1 How'd that happen? You just dropped it?

Speaker 5 Just dropped it.

Speaker 1 Damn, man. Was there pee in there? Well, obviously, there was because you don't call me Peabody.

Speaker 5 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 1 There's a fucking toilet full of pee.

Speaker 1 Did you fish it out? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You go barehanded? P-Boy does. Did you put it in rice?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Adam.
Do you still have it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which phone is your P-phone? This one. This one? Okay.
Careful. P-phone, it's the bad phone.

Speaker 1 It's the everything.

Speaker 2 That'd be funny, actually, if your P-phone, after that incident, became the one that you got all the good stories on. Like it acquired magic power.

Speaker 1 freaky Friday. Yeah, we do I assault the or I assault

Speaker 1 Do I call the bat phone or the other one or do I text the bat phone or the other one?

Speaker 5 Well, it comes into sometimes it comes into both like oh, I got them linked up.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know. I don't know what's the point.
What's the point of having two phones?

Speaker 1 One phone and Ford's message. You created wolf for cell phone.

Speaker 5 Try to see do you come into both? Let's see.

Speaker 1 Wow. You come into both.
Oh, wow. All right.
So I can get to you at any time. All right.
So Adam, thank you as always. We are going to be on your show on Monday.

Speaker 1 We're going to tape it right after this. Yes.
So go subscribe. Know them from Adam.

Speaker 1 Assault. Assault.
Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
I'm happy that you listen to it.

Speaker 2 Assault should be the name of your podcast. Oh, Assault, period.
Assault with Adam Schafter.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's what we'll call this episode that we're on.

Speaker 5 Assaulting Adam. Assaulting Adam.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 This is actually. We just helped you out big time.
Yeah, you really did.

Speaker 5 Subscribe. I'm indebted to you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So we'll see you on, if anyone wants to listen, we'll be on Adam's show on Monday. Thanks, Adam.

Speaker 5 Thanks, guys.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's finish up with some segments.

Speaker 1 And hopefully, PFT survives Vegas, by the way. So, we're talking to you right now before you get to Vegas.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm about to go dress shopping.

Speaker 1 And then I'm going to hit the road. Dress shopping? No, be careful in Vegas.
Okay. You're running with some young'ins, so.
I am.

Speaker 1 It's always a scary sight. And you're going to be in the back.

Speaker 2 It's true. Running in heels.

Speaker 1 I'm going to, yeah.

Speaker 2 I think maybe one night of going hard is probably the plan for me. That'll be my Friday night.
I think if I try to do two in a row, I'm gonna

Speaker 2 do that.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're gonna be two days because yesterday you're like, I'm gonna go hard on Saturday. So I feel like you mentally

Speaker 1 you were already preparing to mentally go hard on Saturday, and now that you're getting there a day early and just said that you're gonna go hard on Friday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you moved your flight up, so now you're going on Thursday. Which just screams to me that

Speaker 1 you're gonna have a hard 24 hours.

Speaker 1 You contradicted yourself so badly. It's hilarious.

Speaker 2 I'm I'm just going to do one night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, guys, don't worry.

Speaker 1 I'm going to hang out by the pool on Saturday.

Speaker 1 It's fine. It's fine.
I just moved up my flight. I'll be there a little bit longer now.
It's fine. All right.
PFT, you want to start with your Fire Fest?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would love to. So my Fire Fest, this will be relatable for a lot of you guys out there.

Speaker 2 My watch is stuck on my wrist.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you heard me talk about it a little bit in the MVMT ad read. I'm not wearing a movement watch right now.
I'm wearing a

Speaker 2 watch. And I wore it out last night.
It's a decent watch, but that's only because I couldn't find my movement. And it is stuck on my wrist.
I can't get it off.

Speaker 2 Somehow, the locking mechanism is broken on here. And my hand, my wrist is starting to feel very claustrophobic.
I'm actually panicking a little bit, even though it's just me wearing a watch.

Speaker 2 If you can't get something off, it's like I've got a tracking bracelet on. That's what's going through my head right now.

Speaker 2 It's starting to really, really

Speaker 2 give me the willies.

Speaker 1 It is an uncomfortable feeling when when you have something on your wrist that you cannot get off. You're absolutely right.
So, what are you going to do?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's like a sturdy metal watch, so I can't cut through it. I can't use a knife and cut it off.

Speaker 1 Why? You know what?

Speaker 2 I'll bet you the very first woman that I asked if they could help me take my watch off, I guarantee you they're able to do it like pronto.

Speaker 2 For some reason, girls are always really good at that type of stuff.

Speaker 1 I was looking on Valentine's Day. I went to go Valentine's Day shopping, and I went to Macy's in the jewelry section, and there was legitimately

Speaker 1 10,000 square foot of just watch, different watch stations. And in my head, I was like, there's no way that people are still buying watches.
Well, except for movement. Right, but in stores.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. Movement's great, but

Speaker 1 the stores, the storefront, and the amount of watches that are out there, it just seems, it's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's trying to take it off right now, folks.

Speaker 2 It's impossible.

Speaker 1 I can't get it off.

Speaker 1 I got a tip for you.

Speaker 1 Why don't you just dunk your hand really quickly into battery acid?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Where do you think they keep the battery acid in this hotel? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe check next to the ice machine.

Speaker 2 You need a saw.

Speaker 2 I'll dip it in my own piss. That's acidic, right?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah, if you piss on it, like, if you piss on that watch

Speaker 1 10,000 times, it will come off. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Should I go pee on it right now? Your pee watch?

Speaker 1 All right, Pien's going to do his fire fest, though. He's going to pee on his watch.

Speaker 1 My fire fest was that we were in in Indy yesterday, and we changed our flight.

Speaker 1 So we had a super early flight this morning, and last night, you and PFT, you know, you go to the dinner, go to schmooze with the coaches. That's not really my thing.

Speaker 1 I don't really know these guys personally like you do. And I realized

Speaker 1 I realized

Speaker 1 at like 7 o'clock, even though I could have thought about it earlier in the day and just booked an earlier flight, I realized at like 8 o'clock that I could have just gone home last night instead of waking up super early and just kind of being miserable in the morning.

Speaker 1 So that was my fire fest. But weren't you happy that we got to spend time together and we had a nice dinner?

Speaker 2 It was a nice dinner,

Speaker 1 but we do spend a lot of time together. By the way, the waitress, this is, I have two fire fests, but this is just an additional one.
If you order a Guinness. That was my other Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 I was trying to get the boys to get some sheesh a bottle of sheesh and big cows. Like I'm going to get a Guinness.
I was like, all right, fuck it. I'll get a Guinness.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to order a glass of sheesh on my own.

Speaker 5 So keep going.

Speaker 1 If you order a Guinness at a restaurant, they legally should have to tell you whether it's a bottle or draft because no one orders a bottle of Guinness. No.
But I love a draft Guinness.

Speaker 1 So that was very illegal. Like, I felt like.
He did a shat. Yeah, I don't know what he did.
He might have dropped some battery acid. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, that's... Make sure it's still recording.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're still going here. Okay, cool.
Yeah, we're still champing. So

Speaker 1 Hank's Firefest was just hanging out with us.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The episode at the steakhouse last night that was probably the funniest was when Hank was considering ordering the Kobe beef, the Wagu, and he looked at the menu price and it

Speaker 2 said $25

Speaker 1 per ounce.

Speaker 2 And Hank was trying to order like one ounce of the Wagyu beef.

Speaker 2 Hank was trying to get a shot of Wagu.

Speaker 2 A salt. Just like a jigger of Kobe beef.

Speaker 1 And then Big Hat portioned me. No.
No, I didn't. I said go.
It's It's $75 for wagu.

Speaker 1 It was $125 for five ounces.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll stick with the dinner. I have two firefests.

Speaker 1 The first one is that PFT just won't believe me that Medium Rare Plus exists, even though every time we go somewhere, I order it and the waitress, it's happened probably about a dozen times where he turns to the waitress or waiter and is like, is that real?

Speaker 1 And they always are like, oh, he got it off.

Speaker 2 The piss. It came off.
It worked.

Speaker 1 The piss worked. Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 My wrist feels so great right now.

Speaker 1 So every time we go,

Speaker 1 I I order medium rare plus, and then he turns to them and says, is that real? And they always say yes, and he still doesn't believe me.

Speaker 2 They kind of roll their eyes. You can see them rolling their eyes when you say medium rare.

Speaker 1 Then, not only that, but I ordered medium rare plus. He ordered medium rare.

Speaker 1 We looked at the steaks. There was a difference, and he just switched the argument.
He goes, I'd rather have my steak than yours. Mine looked way better.

Speaker 2 That's just objective. My steak is good.

Speaker 1 I am convinced that at nice steakhouses, if you order a medium rare, they will always undercook it instead of cooking it to medium rare.

Speaker 1 They will always err on the side of caution, and I don't like error on the side of rare? Yeah, I don't like the medium rare minus. So that's why I get plus.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with that. Is that a thing? The error on the side of something.

Speaker 1 PFC, that's what you should do. You tried.
You tried last night. I did.

Speaker 2 I said medium rare minus.

Speaker 1 They're like, nah. No, you could get rare plus.

Speaker 2 You can do rare plus?

Speaker 1 I'm sure.

Speaker 2 That's like the same thing as medium rare. That's minuses.

Speaker 1 Exactly. That's minuses.
Right.

Speaker 1 All right, my other Fire Fest is we were, Bubba, Hank, and I were in an Uber, and we were driving by Lucas Oil, and I was like, oh, we might be back here for Wisconsin if they get to the Sweet 16.

Speaker 1 And the guy, the Uber driver, just completely out of the left field was like, oh, you're a Badger fan? That place has had some really bad games for you guys. And like...

Speaker 1 then just kept on talking about it. He's like, there was the 2015 against Duke when you guys lost against Ohio State.
And Hank and Liam were just sitting in the back.

Speaker 1 Just like, you thought they were listening to like Dave Chappelle open mic. Like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Speaker 1 So I was just getting roasted by an Uber driver and there's nothing, no worse feeling.

Speaker 2 Zero stars. Did you rate him?

Speaker 1 No, I gave him five stars. Yeah, I did.
I gave him five stars. Also, we friend of the people.
We also had an Uber driver who was the Trill Ballins avatar.

Speaker 1 He was a Bruins, Giants, San Francisco Giants, Celtics, Packers fan. So like from 09 to like 11, he won all the

Speaker 1 titles.

Speaker 2 That's unbelievable.

Speaker 2 How does that happen? You said Packers, San Francisco Giants.

Speaker 1 He was super old, so it was like the dominant teams of the early 80s. Yeah, he basically was like, he was like, yeah, I loved Willie Mays, Larry Bird,

Speaker 1 and then I don't know how he became Packers, and then Bruins, I don't even know. Probably Bobby Orr.
And he just, he had that, he had that stretch.

Speaker 2 Wow. It must be so awesome just rooting for good teams all the time in every sport.

Speaker 1 Well, they're not always good, but that stretch was incredible. That was an incredible stretch for him.

Speaker 2 And, I mean, recently, being a San Francisco Giants fan has been pretty good overall. Yeah.
Being a Packers fan is good. Being a Celtics fan is good.
Bruins is not bad.

Speaker 1 They have a Hall of Fame quarterback that only won one Super Bowl. That seems a little.

Speaker 2 You can say that for both of them. Oh, the Packers?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think the Packers have had a very nice stretch here the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 You've got to wonder how much he left on the table.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do some segments. Sabre metrics.
The Houston Astros are getting plunked a shitload already nine times,

Speaker 1 and we've only had like four spring training games. I'm so excited for this.
This is the story. This is what we've been talking about.
This needs to happen for the entire year.

Speaker 2 I want to find out what the line is on the amount of times that the Astros are going to get beaten this year, and I'm going to take the over on it no matter what, because that's going to be such a fun bet to track as the season goes on.

Speaker 2 But on the sabermetrics side of things, are the Houston Astros actually going to have like a record high for on-base percentage this year because they're going to just get doinked all the time?

Speaker 1 That's true. That's a good point.

Speaker 2 I feel like I might take the season win total over for the Astros just on that alone. There's some value there.

Speaker 2 That's what you say when you have a really dumbass argument that people who are actually smart won't really believe. You just say there's value in that pick.
There's value there.

Speaker 2 So that's why I'm going to take it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just, there's an account that I followed today that I'm going to shout out real quick because it's you everyone has to follow it if you're an Astros hater uh because it seems like they're going to compile it for the rest of the oh yeah it's the uh the account is called asterisks tour the 2020 astros shame tour and they're just basically gonna retweet every astros player that gets plunked and every sign that calls him out and everything so that that seems like a good place that you can just aggregate all your astros hate

Speaker 1 yep

Speaker 1 I love it. All right.
Next up, we have a Respect the Biz. We had a pretty big problem at the Combine today.
Do you have that tweet in front of you, PFT?

Speaker 2 I do, yeah. So this is from our friend JP Finley.
He works out of DC. Great follow if you like DC sports.
He says, they're out of diet Pepsi in the media room, and people are loud mad.

Speaker 2 The catering staff said more would come at 11.45, and this dude stormed off, said, that doesn't help me now. He had his own big gulp cup too.
Peak NFL media scene. So yeah, thoughts and prayers.

Speaker 2 This is apocalypse movie stuff right here when it comes to sports journalists is running out of Diet Pepsi.

Speaker 2 So, if you want to see a riot, journalists are all about the polite discourse until they run out of their beloved low-calorie sodas.

Speaker 1 Well, it also came out today that because of the coronavirus, it might affect Coca-Cola's the way they do their artificial sweetener. Oh, no.
So, that,

Speaker 1 we might be in, like, a Diet Coke recession. Where are we as a podcast on coronavirus?

Speaker 2 Like, where is it ranked?

Speaker 1 Are they title shot? Are they 50?

Speaker 2 Is it properly ranked? Is it overrated or is it underrated right now?

Speaker 1 Are they in the title? I feel like the coronavirus is overrated right now.

Speaker 2 It's having a moment, but I don't know if it's got the clutch gene because it hasn't mutated yet.

Speaker 2 So I would say that the coronavirus is overrated because it only has a 2% mortality rate, which frankly is trash, like 2%. Get out of here.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And I would honestly get coronavirus just for the content. I think it would be a good addition to the show.

Speaker 1 We should do, I'm thinking about it now, like top 25. I would say coronavirus is that others receiving votes, and they got like six votes.
No, they're like UCF.

Speaker 1 Like everyone's talking about them, but they're not actually

Speaker 1 tender. They could be in a couple weeks, but I don't have them ranked right now.
Like, number one's nuclear war. Number two, you know, climate change.

Speaker 1 Like, there's a lot of things that are threatening us. Coronavirus is receiving votes now.
They've had a couple good

Speaker 1 votes. Right.
Who have they played? Nobody.

Speaker 2 They've had an easy schedule so far. They've got the secretive Chinese government that would rather just totally ignore the entire outbreak than have to discuss it openly in the media.

Speaker 2 There's some issues in Iran right now. They've got a bad public health situation right there.
So, you know, talk to me.

Speaker 2 Talk to me when you do some damage in Scandinavia, where they have good hospitals. Talk to me,

Speaker 2 not when you're on my block. Talk to me when you're at my door, coronavirus.

Speaker 1 It's week four, and coronavirus beat.

Speaker 1 They pasted Vanderbilt at home. They beat Arkansas and Fayetteville.
And maybe they played like UTEP

Speaker 1 in the non-conference schedule. So they're making noise, but they're not ranked yet.

Speaker 2 There's no question about it. They've covered the spread against some clearly inferior opponents right now, but we don't know who they are.

Speaker 2 I'll say it to you this way. In my who's now bracket, the coronavirus is a solid eight seed.

Speaker 1 Ooh, okay. Okay, let's finish up.
We got some FAQs, and then we'll let everyone go for the weekend.

Speaker 1 Hank, you want to go?

Speaker 1 It's not a class. People can go whenever they want.
That's true, you can leave whenever you want.

Speaker 1 Although we do have some really good interviews that we taped in Indianapolis coming up with some coaches, coach friends. You'll tell people at the end of the FAQs so they stay.

Speaker 1 I will tell everyone the three names at the end of the FAQ so you stay. I'm in a new relationship with a girl who is very confident in her ability to beat me in a hundred-yard foot race.

Speaker 1 I take it as a direct challenge to my explosiveness. I told her I'd smoke her, and we are planning to do it next week.
What is the proper punishment if I were to lose this race?

Speaker 1 Did DK Metcalf write this?

Speaker 1 That's why I brought it up. It's a very similar

Speaker 1 situation.

Speaker 1 I mean, so let's figure out a punishment. What's an appropriate punishment for a guy losing to a girl in a foot race?

Speaker 2 I think if you lose, you have to just keep running until you go for two miles.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it also is like one of those weird things that when you win, you're just going to feel like an asshole.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 2 This is like, I don't care how much gloating she was doing before the fact, if you beat your girlfriend in a foot race and then you're like, yeah, suck it, bitch. I'm faster than you.

Speaker 2 That's probably going to end your relationship. So you almost have to throw it and not win, and then you're going to have to keep running for two miles afterwards.

Speaker 1 Right. So you're kind of just a weirdo once you win it, and then you're like, wait, I was making that big of a deal, and now I'm just a jerk.
So play it cool, man. Don't be an idiot.

Speaker 1 Hey, Sean Cat and PFT, pretty furry tiger. There's a lot of talk about the 40-yard dash and the combine.
Who would have the faster time if you switched weight? Cat or PFT?

Speaker 1 Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 2 I think Big Cat definitely.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm definitely the slowest of the group here.

Speaker 1 That's for sure.

Speaker 1 If we switch weights,

Speaker 1 I would probably be able to beat you. Who you think would win between me and your PFT?

Speaker 1 We might have to do a warm-up before DK. I don't even know.
I'm not fast,

Speaker 1 but I think I might be fast. How much do you weigh?

Speaker 1 175.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 I would smoke you. I would absolutely smoke you.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to definitively say you wouldn't because I'm not very fast.

Speaker 1 But I think I might beat you. I got longer strides.
I think PFT is the fastest of the group. Find out.
We'll do it before

Speaker 5 DK.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I feel like Bubba is sneaky, really, really small.

Speaker 1 He got hit. Oh, it's slow, you said? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my last angle is completely made out of metal. I thought you were going to say fast.

Speaker 1 and I both thought you were about to say fast

Speaker 2 no he looks like like if you just saw a picture of Bubba you'd probably say he's the fastest of everybody in this podcast but then I feel like when he moves he vapes too much that's his thing he has to like stop for air after 15 yards yeah Bubba's deceptively has deceptive speed he's slower than he looks

Speaker 1 yes uh sup guys my girlfriend tells me that listening to PMT makes me dumber but she finally agreed to listen to one episode with me on our road trip.

Speaker 1 Which episode should I have her listen to for this crucial moment?

Speaker 1 Hmm. Fuck.
Did we ever do

Speaker 1 the Howard Stern thing where we made a woman orgasm?

Speaker 2 No, I've never made a woman orgasm. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Maybe this one. So then when you get to this,

Speaker 1 it's like, hey, what's up? Thanks for listening. We love you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do this.

Speaker 1 Oh, but also, how is he going to know this? When he listens to it, so he's going to make a listen to it. Here's what you do:

Speaker 2 listen to the life advice one because that is unlike any other episode of Part of I Take.

Speaker 2 So listen to that one, and then she'll be like, wow, these guys have really candid conversations about their anxieties, their work lives in their 20s, how to balance out professional goals with private lives.

Speaker 2 And then right after that, just play one of the ones where we just throw up on ourselves.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or player the Kobe one.
Right after Kobe passed, we were really serious and cool

Speaker 1 Yes

Speaker 1 When you do Monday recaps do you play the music in studio if so how do you get time to it to run How do you time it to run the correct amount of time if not are the guys just making noises and doing Berman's voice in silence?

Speaker 1 I actually don't know they Hank plays it, but I don't know how the rest of it works. We do play the music we don't play the music though for fantasy fuckboys.

Speaker 1 Oh that one is just which is a lot weirder. yeah we're just screaming in the studio with no music underneath so that one's definitely a lot weirder uh if you look at it so for fastest

Speaker 1 right away

Speaker 2 one of the hardest parts about writing fastest two minutes every week is that we have to write it so it exactly times out when the music's over so we write we pay very much

Speaker 2 every single syllable Yeah, every single syllable. We write knowing that we have to squeeze in all 16 matchups in exactly two minutes time.
So yeah, it's tricky.

Speaker 1 I did about halfway through, we implemented playing the actual Eagles instrumental, which I thought helped a lot with just the melody. You guys were much more on pitch.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1 Very, very true.

Speaker 1 Sup, bang on, sonkas. Whoa.
I think that's got to be British, right?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 2 Bang on Sonkas.

Speaker 1 Sonkas. Why is it that your nipples get bigger when it's cold, but your dick and balls shrink?

Speaker 2 I actually know the reason for the second part of that. So,

Speaker 2 when your balls shrivel up, when it's cold, it's because they are seeking warmth because you're a sperm factory, right, in your nutsack.

Speaker 2 So, it has to stay closer to your body to be the right temperature to produce sperm. Because the optimal sperm-producing temperature is a little bit chillier than the rest of your body.

Speaker 2 That's why they're not internal. That's why they hang out outside your body.

Speaker 1 Okay, makes sense. I'm gonna buy it.
I'm gonna buy it. What's up, Mr.
35 and Dad Cat? What's the update on 2020 squats and push-ups? I do it every day. Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Minus a few days. Did you do it?

Speaker 1 I still are doing it.

Speaker 1 No, I'm gonna do it today. I've been doing it every day.
So, yeah. Missed one day.

Speaker 1 A week. A day.

Speaker 1 All right, last one.

Speaker 2 I haven't done it since January 3rd.

Speaker 1 What's good, guys? I have a twofer for the people. PFT,

Speaker 1 how did your parents react when you told them you're going to be a bridesmaid in the upcoming wedding?

Speaker 1 Have you told them, too, for Dad Cat, have you decided that you're going to be the cool dad out of Small Cat's future friend group?

Speaker 1 Like, let's say you walk in on future Small Cat ripping a huge dude with the boys. What do you do? You're going to hop in the rotation or are you laying down the law?

Speaker 1 I'll answer mine first.

Speaker 1 I think that cool dad thing

Speaker 1 doesn't really work. That's not.
You got to wait till they're 18 plus. Yeah, it's not really cool.
Yeah, no.

Speaker 2 So it's cool. Your hashtag boy dad.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 2 token fat L's with the fellas.

Speaker 1 It's uh, yeah, that's one of those ones where I think it would just make your uh son hate you way more. All your friends would be like, your dad's so cool.
Your son will be like, No, he's not.

Speaker 1 It sucks.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I definitely had some friends whose parents would like smoke with us all the time when we were younger.

Speaker 2 And at the time, it was like kind of cool, but five, six years go past, and you're just like, that was fucking weird. They should not have been doing that.

Speaker 1 Right. I think

Speaker 1 once you're back from college, though, then it's like, then it's cool. But in high school, it's like, all right, you're like the person with mean girls.

Speaker 1 Agreed.

Speaker 2 And as for me, I have not told my parents that I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. So if we could keep that between us.

Speaker 1 Will, so the pictures of you in a dress, is that something that you plan on like that, them seeing, or is that one you're just hoping that kind of goes past the radar?

Speaker 2 Depends how hot I look. I mean, if I'm a fucking smoke, then yeah, I'm gonna post that shit everywhere.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. Check it out, mom.

Speaker 2 One thing that I am a little bit concerned about is the level of accessorizing that I'm gonna need to do with this dress because it dawned on me that dresses don't usually have pockets.

Speaker 2 And I've always been a guy that wears different types of pants with pockets. So I don't know.
Do I have to get a purse too?

Speaker 1 Hmm. Yes.

Speaker 2 Yes. I feel like I got to get a bag, and then does my bag have to match my dress or does it match my shoes?

Speaker 1 All. All the above.

Speaker 2 So all the same color? And then somebody told me I need to get a garter. I don't know what a garter is, but I don't feel like wearing one.

Speaker 1 You got to get that too. And a veil.
And then,

Speaker 2 no, that's for the bride.

Speaker 1 No, but you got to wear a white. It'd be cool.
Yeah. It'd be sick.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You got to upstage the bride and wear a wedding dress.

Speaker 2 The problem that I'm foreseeing running into with this dress situation is that if I get a dress that fits me, I feel like it's going to be tight around the groin area, and that

Speaker 2 could be just a bad visual for everyone. No one wants to see that.
So do I have to buy a dress that's like too big?

Speaker 1 No, you got this. I don't think you should worry about the visuals.
Just fucking, dude, it's Vegas.

Speaker 2 It's Vegas. All right, I wish that there was a girl that could go dress shopping with me right now because I think I'm going to need some help.

Speaker 2 You got this. I'll send you guys pictures from the dressing room.
Okay?

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, we'll give you feedback.
All right, that's our show. We'll see everyone.
Oh, Mike Frabel, Jay Gruden, Doug Marone. See you everyone Monday.

Speaker 2 Love you guys. Don't cut this out, Hank.
Love you guys. I love you guys.
I love you guys so much. Listen, I love you guys.
I really love you guys. I love you guys.

Speaker 2 No matter what anything Nick says or what he does, I love you guys.

Speaker 2 Think about me switching back and forth between saying I love you guys and I really love you.

Speaker 1 I love you guys.

Speaker 1 Don't you agree?

Speaker 1 You got me feeling diamond rich.

Speaker 1 Nothing on this planet compares to it. Don't you agree?

Speaker 1 Don't you agree?

Speaker 1 All night, I'll hire with you.

Speaker 1 I know you got my back, and you know I got true. So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 1 Let's get physical.

Speaker 1 Break through

Speaker 1 time of the night.

Speaker 1 Baby, keep on missing like you ain't got a choice. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 1 Let's get physical.

Speaker 1 Let's get through the girl.

Speaker 1 Let's get through the cold.

Speaker 1 I'm nine, I ride under you.

Speaker 1 I know you got my back, and you know I got truth. So come up, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 1 Let's get physical.

Speaker 1 High front, follow the night.

Speaker 1 Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 1 Let's get physical.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my tip presented by Bar School Sports.