Adam Schefter, BitCoin 2 Gen, Combine Talk And Is Tom Brady Leaving?

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have Adam Schefter, NFL insider, our annual interview with Schefter. We sit down with him in Indianapolis from the Combine.
We broke the record for the amount of times the word assault was said. We're going to talk a little Tom Brady.
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All right, back to part of my take. Today is Friday, February 27th, 8th, 28th.
I got that now. And Tom Brady is officially no longer a New England Patriot.
False. According to Jeff Darlington.
He is telling people in his camp, in his circle, that he is expecting to hit free agencies. So I'm reading that as Tom Brady hates everyone in the Patriots organization is looking to get out of town as fast as possible.
Okay, so a couple things. One, Jeff Darlington.
We've met him. We've hung out with him.
Nice guy. I still get very, very angry when he has a report and I'm like, why is this NASCAR driver releasing a report about Tom Brady? He's got a NASCAR name.
Pick a new profession. I don't want to hear Tom Brady news from the guy who drives like the 12 Bush car at Daytona.
Okay. So that's number one.
Bothers me. Big Cat's just very jealous because he didn't get the Jeff Darlington VIP black all-access card to his party this year at the Super Bowl.
It was thick and metallic. You could drop it.
It was basically like the Fyre Fest card. It was pretty sweet, but I can tell that you're still fuming about that.
I wasn't even at the party, so I didn't even know that that existed. Oh, wow.

Didn't even get the invite.

No, I remember.

I was like, I do not want to drive 45 minutes to hang out with Jeff Darlington

and Mike Silver.

But you did.

Okay, so number two.

Number two.

I think this is all just a story because there's no real story out of the

combine yet.

All we've had so far from the combine is that one guy, that one guy's offensive lineman who ate a lot. I think it was Division III St.
John's, Ben Bark. He had seven eggs, cottage cheese, grits, peanut butter, banana, and a 20-ounce Gatorade all in a blender.
That's our biggest news outside of that. And Jerry Judy, maybe when Ruggs runs a 4-2-40.
But other than that, it's been a pretty quiet combine. So that's why we get this news today.
Well, let's go back to the smoothie real quick. The Gatorade at the end is really just insane.
Like I'm looking at the other ingredients that go into that. That calls for milk.
That calls for maybe like 2% milk, maybe some chocolate milk, something creamy to really smooth it out. The Gatorade, like a red Gatorade, to combine all that.
That's just unnecessary. But it did help him gain 50 pounds, and he went from being a tight end to now he's, I guess, an offensive tackle.
But, yeah, there's not a lot going on. But, I mean, the Tom Brady news, I would say, is significant news.
I mean, it's like one of the best players in the last couple years of the NFL. He's had a pretty good career

and he's thinking about switching teams.

I'd say like probably a top five

quarterback of the modern era.

So we're going to talk about it. And I put

together a quick list

of my power ranking, my

top four teams that Tom

Brady could go to that would just

piss off Patriots and Patriots fans.

Ready? Okay.

Number one, New York Giants. I'll save my number two thing.
Oh, yeah, wait. New York Giants.
Go ahead. New York Giants.
Going to the New York Giants, I think that would really piss off Hank and other New England fans. Am I right on that one, Hank? Yes.
Number two, Indianapolis. The rivalry is back on again.
Will that piss you off? Yeah. Okay.
Number three, Pittsburgh. And then number four, just the Buccaneers, because I actually think that they're the weirdest uniform that I could ever imagine Tom Brady in.
It's no longer the Dallas Cowboys. It's no longer the Jaguars.
It's now officially in my head, the Buccaneers. Well, not to throw a challenge flag on that one, but we actually don't know what the Bucs uniforms look like because they're changing.
Are they retooling them? Yeah. So they could maybe maybe their new uniforms are just the Patriots uniforms.
And that's their pitch to Tom Brady. There's no law that says that you can't just steal somebody's uniform.
Right. So I still think it's Vikings would be the weirdest uniform just because the purple would be jarring.
But that's a good list. What if he went to the Bengals just to kind of beat the NFL in expert mode? I mean, that would be – a lot of people have been saying the reverse, that Bill Belichick would be interested in Andy Dalton because if you can win a Super Bowl with Andy Dalton, then everyone will say, wow, this guy can do anything.
He can walk on water. Right.
Is there a part of you that thinks that Tom Brady wants to go to another team just so that he can beat the Patriots and then he can say he beat every single team in the NFL? I think he'd be the first person to do that. Maybe Brett Favre did? To beat every single team? Brett Favre probably did it.
He probably did. Drew Brees maybe? No, because he didn't.
Oh, yeah. Do you think he ever beat the Saints? He might have thrown a touchdown against every team.
Either way, let's just say that's a stat because it sounds cool. Yeah, he could beat every single team.
Or how about this? If he went to the Chargers and then he could prove once and for all he was better than Eli Manning if he's able to win with the Char. So in like real talk here for a second, Peyton Manning beat every team.

That makes sense.

That makes perfect sense.

There's actually probably been done like 17 times, and I'm just an idiot. But in real talk, I still don't think that he's going to leave.

And I know this is playing right into what Jeff Darlington was saying.

His point, which was everyone needs to get over the fact that like in your heart of hearts hearts you're like, wait, he's not going to leave? There's no way. I still don't think he's going to leave.
But I also am always a little cautious when it comes to these. The Kawhi thing was a perfect example.
LeBron, when he went to Miami. This is prime.
If you've ever had a conversation with Tom Brady, you are now a source for a big story, and all those people talk. And I feel like Tom Brady doesn't even know what he's going to do, but his friend from five years ago is like, I'm pretty close to Tom, and I can tell you definitively he's leaving.
So it's big-time source season where anyone who's ever had a cup of coffee with him can be part of a story.

That's very true.

Hank, how are you feeling about all this?

What's your poop meter at?

My poop meter is probably mid-level, mid-level poop.

Did it go up today?

Yeah, it went up.

And I talked to some of my fellow Patriots compadres in the office and their poop meters were up, which I wasn't expecting.

And that kind of raised my awareness.

So gun to your head right now, all three of us. Patriots.
Okay. Gun to your head.
PFT, what do you say? Gun to my head. Yeah, I'm going to be the guy in the media that says he's going to be a patriot.
I've heard from sources close to Tom Brady, Hank, that he's going to be a New England patriot. Wait, no, but Hank's sources actually said the opposite.
But Hank is my source. Right.
Hank just said Tom Brady's going to be a patriot. Oh,.
Wait, no, but Hank's source has actually said the opposite. But Hank is my source.

Right. Hank just said Tom Brady's going to be a Patriot.
Oh, true. So Hank is my source, and Hank is close to the Patriots.
Ipso facto, I am reporting sources are telling me he's going back to the Patriots. Okay, so I'll say Patriots, too, because Leroy's my source.
So Leroy's owner told me, which makes me believe that Leroy probably said something to him. So I'm going to say, so this podcast as a whole, we're now staking our reputation that we don't really care about.
And if we're wrong, who the fuck cares? But we are staking our reputation definitively that he will still be a Patriot. Yeah, and I'm honestly just believing that because it's the scenario that would make me, it's the least exciting of all the scenarios.
Right. And Tom Brady has always been a very unexciting great quarterback and so I just I see this fitting the pattern where he's going to go back to New England probably win one more Super Bowl make me roll my eyes a bunch and then Hank is going to hold it over us for the rest of our lives the build up to these big free agency things it always doesn't really like deliver so I agree with you there we're all going, my God, he could go here, he could go there, and then he's going to end up being, he's probably going to rebuy his house that he sold.
Or he probably didn't even sell it. He's probably going to take it down.
No, it's on the market still. That's exactly what it's going to be.
It's going to be a fucking ad for, like, the real estate market. He's basically going to announce that he's staying in Boston by going to his front lawn and taking the for sale sign down yeah i mean maybe he's just mad at his neighbor so he's putting up a for sale sign having a bunch of people stop by all the time clog up the streets of traffic

people are parking in front of his nosy neighbor's driveways he's just he's just probably in a good

old-fashioned neighborhood feud yes so all right so to wrap up the tom brady talk real quick hank

i have one last thing for you are you prepared because i know you think that people are going

I'm going to go on you and Patriots fans, but are you prepared for this is just going to be a story, whether you like it or not, for the next month? Like, it's no avoiding this. It's going to be talked about pretty much on every show.
You can't – it's going to be the number one sports story until maybe March Madness gets here. Yeah.
I've fully expected that since the season ended. Okay.
Any other news from the combine? We heard that maybe Philip Rivers to the Colts, which I think you actually said on Monday's show, PFT. Yeah.
Yeah, Philip Rivers has interest in the Colts, and Ler leroy in per his sources he's had four independent people tell him uh that are close to the situation not making this up these are actually people that are tied into the situation that philip rivers is highly considering becoming an indianapolis colt and that talks are kind of bubbling up under the surface i don't know what the tampering rules are so i'm not to get anybody in trouble. But I've heard that maybe one of, yeah, probably like three or four of Phillip Rivers' children have been in touch with the Colts about the daycare situation there.
So it looks like he's going to be going to Indy. Interesting.
So we also went out to dinner last night. We got to see Doug Peterson's hair up close and personal.
He was sitting at the bar. It was awesome.
He's got like it's pillow soft his hair looks so soft i don't i don't know what conditioner he uses but you can just feel the softness even though i didn't feel his hair but i wanted to yeah you could feel the softness through your eyes it looked like a raccoon got shot directly on top of his head and just just immediately went totally limp i just i wanted to walk up to him and just pet him yes yes yes so that was pretty much the only notable story unless you had other things pft um well there's i mean there's bear gate ongoing trey wingo bear gate oh i forgot we had to talk about that so i do have we do need to talk about this so i've been posting every day a different bear that continues to follow me around all this damn country. Won't leave me alone.
And so you've got an update on the origins of the Trey Wingo bear story. You'll recall on Sunday night or Friday night, he lied about a bear visiting his back porch.
Okay, so let me just preface it by saying Trey hit me up, and I think he just – I think he's scared of you, PFTft so i think that's why he hits me up because he's also hit me up before being like america's stepdad question mark and i was like i didn't even know what he was saying and then i realized it was your line i like trey i think he's funny i think he actually goes with it for the most part except like dude maybe do a bong rip once in a while but anyway he wrote me and he said they get bears all the time so you remember that this was a bear situation that was like a block down from him the actual photo he posted it was just four years old so he said that friday night a huge one was on his porch but ran away before he could get a pick so okay he then posted the old picture of the bear on the porch and thought that the internet would be smarter to realize that it was nighttime and it was a daytime picture. He thought wrong.
Now, I'm just telling you what he's telling me. He said, once again, my decision to give people credit for basic understanding of the time space continuum was too much and then he said i don't like that he's i don't like okay hold on hold on pft all i'm gonna say in defense of trey here because i've now become the defense of trey wingo he then sent me a picture of another bear at night which i don't know why he didn't just post this uh a year that was on his porch.
Okay. He should have just posted that picture.
I'm looking at it right now. It makes no sense that he didn't just post that one.
Hank, will you confirm? Yeah, there's a bear on Trey Wingull's porch. Yep.
And then- How do you know it's Trey's porch? It's a huge sign that says Trey's Smoke Shack right behind it. No, I actually don't.
And then he sent me another video of a bear running in his backyard. So Trey Wingo's point in his defense is...
Holy shit, it's faster than that pig. Timon and Puba or whatever.
Than the hog. Trey's point is he has bears all the time in his backyard.
He did a bear there was a bear at at one point at one point there was a bear according to trey according to trey wingo there was an actual bear instead of taking a picture of it he went back and found an old picture of a bear and was just saying this is what it artist's representation of what it might have looked like if I saw the bear during the day. So first of all, it's barest of Trey for him to be saying that all bears look alike and, oh, one bear is just the same as the next one.
Also, let's flash back in time to the year 2017 when Trey Wingo put that same picture of that bear that was not on his porch on his Instagram. So are we to believe that Trey Wingo, every time he sees a bear, just in general, he goes into his phone, into the folder labeled my one bear pick, and then he puts that on all social media to let everyone know that he has indeed seen another bear.
Okay, again, I don't know how I became the defense for Trey Wingo, but I will play that role. I will wear that hat.
All I'm going to say is at one point there was a bear. There were many bears, actually.
Why he didn't post another bear picture, I can't tell you. But I have confirmed visually that there was a bear.
In a picture that he sent you, did you do a Google reverse image search on that picture? Yes. No, you didn't.
No, I did not. I would like to see the results of that coming back because I suspect that it may be lifted from Animal Planet.
Furthermore, Trey, when you post a picture of a cute little bear with his cute little bear earrings climbing on your cute little porch and standing on his cute little bear paws, how many kids in Connecticut went out that night and tried to pet a bear And would see a bear walking across their backyard and be like Oh, this is a sweet little, oh, it's poo, it's Winnie-Poo I'm going to go scratch you under your chin, Mr. Bear Because Trey Wingo, in his role as America's stepdad Gets on TV and tells America that it's safe to go up and pet a wild bear because they're cute and they go on his back porch.
I'm just saying, think of the children, Trey. Okay.
All right. It's fair.
Either way, I rest my case there was a bear. So I'm going to let him off the hook here.
By the way, if you want to watch the interview today, BarstoolGold.com slash PMT. The only other topic I wanted to throw out there was Steven Seagal might have, he might be in trouble for Bitcoin 2 Gen, but we don't really have to get into it because I think we were probably implicated ourselves and we're probably going to be in the filing because we did a good job boosting it.
We were never paid to promote Bitcoin 2 Gen. True.
True, true. Our show, what we do on our show is we dabble in retroactive equity, in the retroactive equity space where we talk about a product, and then if it actually becomes successful later on, then we go back and we're like, hey, remember when we talked about your product? Give us a cut of it.
So we didn't get paid at the time. We were not promoting it't think that i think steven seagal is off the hook on this one because you can't get arrested for fraud if the product is called this is literally fraud right so he was very open about how fraudulent bitcoin 2 gin was so it's not like it's false advertising there the pdf that they had on their website that basically showed you through all their marketing material if you wanted to invest literally had a pyramid.

So I don't think you can arrest someone for a pyramid scheme when they showed you the pyramid. That's actually a stupidity test.
If you bought Bitcoin 2GEN, you should be arrested. Agreed.
And also, I think that it's a good thing that people have been defrauded by Bitcoin 2Gin through Steven Seagal. Because if there's one group of people in America that needs to have their power severely, severely curtailed, it's probably someone who's a diehard Steven Seagal fan who's also extremely wealthy.
Fuck. Are you extremely wealthy? Extremely is probably too much, but I am a huge Steven Seagal fan.
Right, but a Steven Seagal fan with a shitload of money is a very, very dangerous situation. Why are you looking at me, Hank? I don't have a shitload of money, but I'm teetering on being in a lot of trouble, let's just say, with Bitcoin 2Gen.
Are you one percenter? No. I don't know.
No. I'm not a one percenter.
Me and Bernie are going to come after you. You're going to get me? The Bernie bros are going to come get me.
Tax that ass. Hey, listen.
I want health care for everyone. Maybe it would stop the coronavirus.
Me too. I'm going to put a rose in my Twitter account right now, and I'll start harassing you.
Perfect. All right.
Should we get to our Adam Schefter interview? Oh, no. We have one more other story we have to talk about.
PFT and DK Metcalf are in an incredible battle on Instagram that you have to have a magnifying glass to have followed the last few rounds, but it's been a sight to see and a sight to watch the last couple days. Listen, I love DK Metcalf.

He's a really good shit talker.

So he's a worthy opponent.

We just, I think I was showing Stephen Che

how to get off to a good start running a 40-yard dash,

and it's all about having the same hand go back.

How do you know that?

As your foot, because I've run several 40-yard dashes

extremely fast over the course of my life.

I didn't know that.

I'm a bit of a speed demon. You might not know that.
But I was showing him how to get off to a good start, and the Barstool Sports Instagram account, for some reason, tagged DK Metcalf and was just like, PFT will beat you in a race. I had nothing to do with that.
But then DK responded, and then that began about six hours of nonstop just quoting each other's Instagram stories. I think there were probably like 25 different replies.
At one point, he called me Fabio's homeless cousin. That was probably his best friend.
That's pretty good. That was good.
He said, what's more embarrassing, not making the XFL or being named Eric. So he brought my dead brother into it, which is kind of messed up, but that's still funny.
But then I replied to that, if I was only able to kick as straight as you can run. So bringing up his inability to turn like an aircraft carrier.
And so we just went back and forth. It was an entire afternoon.
And then he also said your body is shaped like a mini fridge, which I thought was pretty good. That is good.
That was good. I like that.
He said my body was shaped like a mini fridge, but I thought was pretty good. Oh, that is good.
That was good.

He said my body was shaped like a mini fridge, but then I said, so you're saying that it looks like I can have a six-pack.

And so then at that point, he was like, you know what?

This has been fun, which I took as him putting the white flag up.

But I think we might race.

I think that we discussed this offline, me and DK.

I think there might be a race involved. Or how much of a head start are you going to get? Well, I'm going to have to have a significant head start, or maybe I can just drive a car.
I never specified that it was a foot race, so maybe it'll just be me driving a car. It'll be me.
Who can get two blocks faster in the city of New York, me and a car, DK running. We should get, like, a puma or a lion or something and put sunglasses on them.
Like, there you go, DK. That probably seems dangerous, but it would be fun.
Yeah. It would make news.
I mean, that was a great show, Man vs. Beast.
Do you remember that? Yes, yes. They had, like, Michael Johnson racing a giraffe or some shit.
Let's do that. Let's absolutely do that.
Okay. So a lot of stuff, a lot of crazy things that happened the last couple days.
Sorry. But let's get to our interview with Adam Schefter, and then we'll do some segments on the other side.
Fun time talking with him. We catch up with him every year.
He still doesn't have the Des tape, but we get into all that. Before we do that, we're going to get right back to the show.

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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, here he is, Adam Schefter.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests live from Indianapolis. It is our friend Adam Schefter.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests live from Indianapolis. It is our friend Adam Schefter, the Adam Schefter podcast, also an insider at NBA and NFL.
Assault. Assault.
We're off. I figured we'd start there.
I mean, it's been on my mind. I was actually thinking about this before you got here.
If I could sit down and talk to anyone regarding that situation, I wouldn't talk to Miles Garrett. I wouldn't talk to Mason Rudolph and say, hey, how'd that feel? Not the Pounceys, not Baker.
I just want to know Adam Schefter, assault. What was it that night? Battery.
It was battery. It was battery.
The reason why, because it's actual harm. Were you as upset as you watched that as the assault tweet made me think you were? No.
Basically, you're watching it and the only thing I could think of is he just assaulted that guy. Assault.
He assaulted him. Assault.
It's assault. Can you say that again? That's perfect.
He assaulted him. With a little animation.
Assault. Assault.
Assault assault! We're going to beep that in. Absolutely.
We got that isolated. I think the period is what really said it over the top, too.
Assault, period. Just something about it.
That tweet might be my favorite tweet from 2019. You know, the funny thing is I haven't seen it show up anywhere since then.
Like, nobody's tweeted it at me. You guys haven't reminded me of it.
This is the first time that anybody's brought that up since then. It is great.
You can apply the tweet assault to just about anything that happens online. Anytime someone dunks on Ravel, assault is just a great reply to it.
It's like something you always need to have in your back pocket to pull Right. And credit to you, I think that five years ago, Adam Schefter probably wouldn't have had fun with it, but you did right away.
You kind of took the piss out of it, which was great, because then it makes it funnier, where it's like, yeah, it's a salt. Well, again, I've been through this enough to know that it's not going to go away, that it's going to follow me around.
And so now we'll just have to come up with something again in the future,

whatever that may be, to supplant

assault.

It'll happen naturally at some point.

Organically, yep. In the aftermath

of the assault,

I personally... It's going to be like the meow game

in Super Troopers.

But after

the assault, I was

very well connected in certain league circles.

And I heard that there were

Thank you. Even super true.
See how many times we can say it. But after the assault, I was very well connected in certain league circles.

And I heard that there were rumors that there may have been some tapes out there.

You're a big the tapes exist guy.

Oh, we'll get to that. We'll get to that again in a second.

But did you also hear the same rumors that there were tapes of what was said on the field just prior to the assault?

I've never heard anything like that. I've never heard the tapes.
I don't know that those tapes exist. And there are a wide array of opinions about what did and didn't happen that night.
And I don't think we'll ever know what did and didn't happen. I mean, it's amazing to me that Miles Garrett says this, says he heard it, and Mason Rudolph is vehement in his denials, and he's defended by his coach, and you've got people sticking up for him.
So, who's right? Right. Now, so in terms of Miles Garrett going forward...
I can't believe we're still doing Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph in this whole assault thing months later. It's amazing.
It was quite a night. I'm so glad I didn't go to bed before that.
That's the funny thing is I actually did. Oh.
So you woke up and that was the first thing you thought. I woke up.
Dad even makes it better. I sit and I go, that's assault.
That's assault. You're like one of those precogs in Minority Report.
You were sleeping in your pool. And you're like, wait, there's a crime that's about to happen.
You're dozing off.

I was dozing off.

I was watching it. There's a TV in my closet.

And my wife...

This is true. More information

than you saw. You get...

Is it one in your bathroom?

No, my wife, while she watches her housewife shows and all of her Bravo,

I go into my little closet with a little TV

and I watch Thursday Night Football.

And oftentimes, to be perfectly

frank, I'll be sitting in my chair

and I'm watching the screen, and I just kind of doze off. And I happened to doze off, and I woke up.
I'm like, what the heck just happened? So you were watching this in your closet in a tiny TV, woke up, assaulted. Assaulted.
That's awesome. That's so much better.
That's so much better. That adds so much color to the story.
Yeah, and it also, like, you, I, I, that, this is obviously going to be very, uh, something

that's not relatable to the wider audience, but in terms of content creators, there's nothing worse than when you wake up and something big has happened, and you're like, wait, what? I slept through Kevin Ware's leg injury. I literally took a nap during it and woke up.
Oh my god, are you okay? I'm not okay, but time froze. I woke up and I was like, why is there no time on, like why has there only been 30 seconds that have gone by and I've been asleep for 30 minutes? And then I realized, Kevin, where the whole injury but that is the worst feeling, waking up and being like, what just happened? Assault.
You're like jolted awake. Yeah.
That's a sensory assault. Right, exactly.
That's a big time sensory assault. That's how people live life on the West Coast is they wake up and it's noon

on the East Coast and they've already missed

who knows how many examples of assaults on the East Coast.

That's one of the challenging parts of being on the West

Coast. Either you're getting up late

like you can't even imagine like the world is going on.

Right. Stock markets crash.
You would freak

if you lived on the West Coast. Well it would be a different

deal. You'd freak.

You'd be freaking. I don't know that I could live there.

No you would be freaking. Yeah we were lucky enough that I had bet the second half of that game, so that's why we were still watching.
Because I was like, oh my god, they could still score a backdoor cover or something. Then assault happened.
You just mentioned something that I want to do a follow-up question. What's your favorite Real Housewives? Well, I watched the New York one.
I watched New Jersey. Do you like Bethany? I do like Bethany I don't like you then You don't like her? She got divorced From the countess The count And she still calls herself A countess No that's not Bethany Oh sorry Bethany Skinny margarita girl Yeah exactly Luann Do you like Luann Sorry that's what I meant I justipped my hand.
I think Luann likes herself a lot more. Yes, okay.
All right. All right.
So you're New York and New Jersey. That's kind of me.
Sometimes throwing a little OC, but they're firing all the women out there, so it's going to be weird. New Jersey, New York, yeah.
Bethany. The guy she got divorced from on TV, he seemed like the nicest guy in the world.
Yeah. They don't.
I mean, that's crazy that a reality television show didn't really show the person's true personality one way or the other. I can't believe it.
It's not all legit. Everything that happens in the real world, it's real.
That's why they call it the real world. I don't know about that guy, but the five minutes I saw him in a heavily edited program, I think he was a good guy.
I have some questions that I'd like to make some news on, some headlines. How are teams taking extra precautions to combat against the coronavirus? Oh, good question.
That is not filtered into the NFL just yet. So that's the headline.
It's coming, right? We need to have one team be like, yeah, we're making all our players wear masks during rookie orientation or something like that.

Yeah.

Next question to make some headlines.

Give me a sleeper team for Tom Brady.

Ooh.

A sleeper.

You see, the thing is.

Give us a list.

Give us the list first.

Then give us the sleeper.

You start with the Patriots.

You mix in the Titans, the Raiders, the Chargers.

Okay. Which means you'll probably sign with some other team that we don't even have listed, right? Right.
So give us that sleeper. Yeah.
What team would you be like would happen and you would be shocked but not, oh my God, Tom Brady signed with the Browns or something like that? I don't have a sleeper for you because I... I have one for you.
Go ahead. Give it to me.
All right. How about he goes to Detroit, played ball at Michigan.
Don't see it. He's going to go home to Michigan.
Yeah, Matt Patricia. Interesting.
Does Leroy have a sleeper team? Leroy's got a couple of sleeper teams, yeah. He was thinking maybe the Panthers.
Don't see it. That's credit to you, by the way.
You also handle Leroy and any time we break news a lot better than you did a few years ago. No, I'm serious.
You were mad about Mike McCarthy. I remember that.
You were really mad. No, I wasn't.
Oh, you were mad. You were mad about Mike McCarthy.
Big mad. Yeah.
You were mad. You were like, who are these guys? Who are they talking to? Because we got all the details right for it.
And actually, that night is really what spawned Leroy in the long term. Because I got temporarily addicted to breaking news after the high of breaking that McCarthy story.
Wow. And you know the feeling.
Do you still get a rush when you get a story before everybody? I mean, there's adrenaline that kicks in. It's a fun feeling.
Yeah, that's a nice feeling, right? You like it? Leroy likes it? Leroy's chasing it.

Yeah, like it's a car.

And then once you get it, you kind of put your phone down for a second.

You're like, smoke a cigarette, take a nap, make yourself a sandwich.

Who are you beefing with these days?

In Rapoport, you had Mort tweet out the rat gif, which might have just meant that he's

a Pete Buttigieg guy. I didn't have Mort tweet out anything.
Okay, right. Ratgate? Ratgate? Rataport? What about Florio? Are you good with Florio right now? Fine with Florio.
If you see Florio, how long does that conversation last? Not long. Okay, so you're fine with Florio.
Well, there was a little bit of a back and forth, and this was probably the least interesting media feud of all time, but, like, a week ago, you guys got into it based on, like, the verbiage of a Dan Graziano report of the NFLPA is giving a deadline. What happened was my boss called me in the afternoon, and it was, like, 5 o'clock, or he goes, what did you report that you're being questioned and criticized on for about – what was it about? It was like the NFL has set like a deadline for the NFLPA.
Oh, right. That's what it was.
Yeah, yeah. I remember – To get the CBA ratified by March 18th or something.
And I said, I don't even report anything today. What are you talking about? Mm-hmm.
And so that morning I woke up and ESPN puts out a newswire with like links to the stories. And I saw something that they put out the latest on the CBA talks or whatever it was, which I guess Dan had written.
I didn't even know. I looked at it.
I said, OK, well, let me put it out there in the morning. It was 637 in the morning.
Never thought anything of it. And five o'clock, my boss like, well, they're saying that you reported this all day.
I'm like, I haven't reported a single thing. I posted a link to an ESPN story that was written.
Right. And so, again, it was repeatedly referred to me reporting something.
And all I said was, simply put, I never reported this. Yeah.
But isn't everything by the nature of your job, everything you say is you're reporting it. Like you just reported that to us.
Right. So if I put out a tweet from another person, a link to their story, then I'm reporting that.
So if I. You're reporting that Dan Graziano has reported.
You're reporting that there's a new story. I'm validating Dan Graziano's report.
Right. You have.
Yeah. Like the retweets don't count as endorsements that people put in their Twitter bio.
I think everything you say counts as a story. A journal, like when you tweet something, that is reporting it.
You are a reporter. That's fair.
Like I shouldn't be reporting it if I'm not backing or believing that, right? It's a compliment to the job that you've done for yourself, that you've built yourself up into this breaking news juggernaut,

but now it's like a double-edged sword

because we hold you to that standard of breaking news

with everything that you say.

And that's fair. I understand that.

But I just didn't report that that day.

Do you ever have fear

that you will report something

and have it be wildly wrong and that'll be it?

That'll be curtains on Shefty?

Oh. I mean, you live with that fear.
Mm- fear. Talk about that fear.
Let's get into that fear. Well, it's deep, Bay Cat.
It's real. Your dreams about it.
No, but you, I mean, listen. I mean, I can think of a couple things right away.
Like, I remember filing a story on a Friday afternoon. Coaches remember plays and reporters reporters remember stories.
Shit, we should have done the Sean McVay thing. Oh, yeah.
And I can tell you the details around. I remember it was a Friday afternoon.
It was about 3.30. And I filed to the desk that the 49ers were hiring Jim Harbaugh as their head coach.
And I filed to the desk, and I don't remember who it was, but someone that covers college football for ESPN emailed me back.

Hey, congratulations, good story. And I said, hold on.
Let's just wait until it's announced. He goes, wait, you follow? Yeah, I know, but you just want to see it true.
You always hold your breath. Like, hey, last summer, Andrew Luck, I'm at my mother-in-law's surprise 75th birthday party in upstate New York.
We sit down at the table. Somebody texts me, you're free.
And I thought to myself, I just sat down, literally, at the surprise party for my mother-in-law's 75th birthday. I said, everything okay? And they said, well, just had some information to pass along.
So I called the person. Andrew Luck's going to retire on Sunday.
Though it turned out to be Saturday. And so I put out the story.
And literally, the very first call that I got, 60 seconds after reporting it, was from Matthew Hasselbeck. And Matthew Hasselbeck says to me, all worked up, you sure? Am I sure about what? You sure Andrew's retiring? I said, well, yeah.
I sent in the story. He goes, I don't know that.
And I know they're friendly. He goes, I was just with him the last two days in Indianapolis and he didn't mention a single word about it to me I thought to myself oh my god like for a moment your heart well not for a moment for longer than a moment your heart drops right and you're like oh my god like did I did I just get something wrong okay so that's interesting because that must like do you ever? Because I remember that whole timeline.
Andrew Luck wasn't going to do it, and then he was kind of forced to and got booed against the Bears in the preseason. Do you ever feel bad, or is that just, hey, listen, when I have a story, I run it? I'm not thinking of how it's going to work out for them.
Listen, in that particular case, it was supposed to be Sunday. I'm at the party.
I get the story.

Am I supposed to wait?

I called a few people, let them know, hey, this is going to come,

this is going to come, this is going to come.

I'm not going to say, well, let me finish the game.

Right.

Again, I had no idea where the game was.

Right.

I'm in Pyrmont, New York at an Italian restaurant at a birthday party.

I gave a heads up to various people.

I don't drink and scoop. I never thought of that.
Have you ever stopped yourself and you're about to break a story and you're like, wait a second, I've had like half a bottle of Chianti. Maybe I should ask for like a second opinion on this story.
You know, another fact, my wife has never seen me drunk in 14 years of marriage. Whoa.
Wow. Okay.
So that's, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never. Okay Okay what if you're just really high Like super fucked up Like we're not even talking weed We're talking like dust cleaner Wow Yeah Like in the basement Like a big tube of airplane glue Right And you just fucking Huffing the shit out of it If that were the case I'd have to You'd stop Seek, but you would also stop.
You can't do something recklessly.

But would you tweet?

Well, if you have the story, you tweet.

The truth no matter what.

Yeah.

The truth above all else.

Have you ever had a story that you filed to assignment desk and then it took too long to get verified and you're like, these guys screwed me?

On the desk?

No, the desk is great. That's on me.
I mean, it comes back to me like I got to get the story in, or there's a chance you'll lose the story. Right, and they turn it around just like that? Yeah, but once you file it to the desk, you then could tweet it out.
Oh, you can tweet filed too. That's a nice loophole.
I forgot about that one. But it's funny.
When I first got to ESn i got to espn in august of 2009 and i joined twitter in june of 2009 two months before i got to espn right and i remember getting that summer like this guideline of tweet policies and when espn initially came out with like its first policy it was like everything must be followed to the desk you then must wait five minutes before you like it was a whole big list of things that i don't know where it came from and I don't know what filed to the desk. You then must wait five minutes before you,

like it was a whole big list of things that I don't know where it came from and I don't know what happened to those rules.

Right.

And if they probably weren't put in place for like any real reason,

they were just like, we should have a Twitter policy.

So let's just make one up.

Well, the Twitter policy went into effect and I don't remember,

I don't remember very much about it.

Okay.

So this is a perfect loophole for Leroy.

You need to start doing that.

This, instead of saying sources say filed to say filed to desk. and then if you get it wrong, you just reply desk denied.
The desk cleared it. Yeah, no, the desk denied it because you filed it, which is fact.
I don't want Leroy to pass the buck. I want the desk to be the ones that are ultimately culpable if it's false.
Right, that's what I'm saying. But hold on.
Once you put your stamp on it, once you're sending it to Leroy, the desk, whatever. I'm thinking...
What if the desk says, no, that story's bogus? Leroy, all he did was file a story. And the desk put it out.
The desk verifies it, so if it ends up being wrong... Leroy has to verify it.
Well, the desk could be like, sorry, this isn't right. If Leroy is as much of a hound dog as we think he is.
Right. News hound.
What does the desk do then? A news hound. How many people at the desk? Do they take piss breaks? Is there actually a desk? Yeah.
Is it one giant desk with like a little- It's a news desk. I imagine like a little old lady clicking.
They make sure when certain things are happening that you're not jumping the gun, that this is vetted out, that the proper steps are being taken, that did you check this? And once they sign off on it, like, there's a lot of examples. Do you give a Christmas tip to the desk? I've seen cookies this year, big cookies.
You've got to leave a little scratch. A little card, yeah, with a little money in there.
How many people are on the desk this desk eight people seven eight nine ten people he's like the final boss of journalism you know the desk yeah you need a desk well you guys should do a we'll get a desk interview with the desk absolutely yeah but there's a lot there's a lot of people there i mean there's a lot of people i'm more concerned about the desk really itself than than the people that work there like for Christmas, you get one of those things that has a whole area. It's a whole area.
Or many desks? Yeah, well, everybody's got their own desk. Oh, okay.
I thought it was everyone's shared one. Yeah, everyone's got desk.
What about a bureau? What's the difference between a bureau and a desk? Like, when you hear somebody say, like, there's a North American news bureau. The bureau sounds fancy.
Like, the bureau sounds like, you know, that sounds like a place where you go live some secret life and you have expense counting. You go do whatever you want in the North American Bureau, in the London Bureau.
Here's an idea. For Christmas, the quarterbacks that buy their offensive linemen nice gifts, you should buy them a sick new desk.
But then it's not the desk. Then it's his desk.
No, but it's a desk. You got a new desk.
But then we got to supplant the ESPN, like the company equipment. I'm not a decorator.
There's no bureaucratic red tape at ESPN. You could get that done in two seconds.
Speaking of... Come on.
We can't bring in food from the outside. This is easy.
Speaking of red tape, did you spell check it when you tweeted

out that your bosses made you say

Disney Plus is going to change

lives?

Did I misspell something?

Did you spell check it? Like when they sent you the

text that everyone at ESPN had

to tweet out at the exact same time

and you copied and pasted it?

I had that tweet first, I believe.

Oh, you broke that.

I broke the Disney Plus. Did it change, did it change your life? A hundred percent.
Disney Plus? Yeah. Speaking of which, why didn't you have the Bob Iger scoop? Well, I had that.
I actually broke that to our bureau. You did? Well, the funny thing, yesterday we wrapped up NFL Live.
We're sitting around our little self-created desk. There's that term again.
In Lucas Oil Stadium. And we're sitting around.
It's about 10 of us, all the people here, the producers. And I said, Bob Iger just resigned.
Wow. So you broke the news to the group.
Yes, I did. That's a thrill.
I don't care whether you're breaking news to the desk, a group, to Leroy, to you guys.

It's just fun.

Right.

It's just fun, man.

What about morbid news, though?

That always is like...

That's not fun.

Yeah.

My dad does that to me all the time.

He's like, hey, remember this person?

They got cancer.

When it comes to sad news, my wife, if I tell her something like that, why are you telling

me that?

Yeah, why are you bumming me out?

But I think he's just addicted to breaking news the same way. And sometimes, like, whatever your beat is, your beat is.
Right? Absolutely. Sometimes people have the beat of just saying who's getting a terminal illness.
Yeah. Well, it's the rush of just, yeah, dispensing information.
Just letting someone never get you. Are you like a weather newsbreaker to your kids? Are you like, hey, be safe.
There's a thunderstorm. My dad was like that a lot when I was a kid.
My daughter's pretty obsessed with the weather. She's always checking that kind of thing.
So she's the weather newsbreaker in the family more than me. She breaks it to you.
She's got that. Do you feel slighted when somebody breaks news to you, like to your face? Well, you never like to have any news broken to your face.
You're telling me there's two inches of snow in Indianapolis today. Like the guy that told me that this morning, you ruined my morning a little bit.
But if I were to break news right now and be like, hey, breaking news, Tom Brady's going to the Dallas Cowboys. You would look at me and you'd be like, I don't like that.
I don't like what you just did to me. You just broke that news on me.
You know, like one of my bosses would text me. He's like, did you see that with Brady? I'm like, I text him.
I'm like, don't do that to me. Don't, like, did you see? Like, tell me what it is.
Like, don't make my heart drop. Don't rattle me like that.
Like, just let me know what it is. You're like, hey, did you hear about the trade? I don't want to hear, did you hear about the trade? I want to hear, this guy got traded.
That's not fair yet because you have missing scoop phobia. It'd be like someone who's scared of spiders and just handing him a spider being like, look at this.
That sucks. Scoopophobia.
Yeah. Speaking of your scoopophobia, it affects many people.
How's your daughter's journalism career? I did love that. It's fun.
Yeah. Right? As a dad, you understand.
Yes. And there's nothing better than bringing your daughter to events like you took her down to the Pro Bowl.
We're flying down. Wait, not the Super Bowl? No.
The original idea was for her to do media night for ESPN. They wouldn't credential her.
Yeah. What do you guys know about that? They would have thrown her out on the street.
We should actually get a kid to ask all of our questions next year. Just adopt a kid.
You want Dylan? Yeah. Yeah.
Well, did she answer the hard-hitting questions? Okay. Yeah, we'll adopt'll adopt your daughter.
She's on the ball. What's the percent chance that you get the Brady scoop? Are you in the running? Well, if you're a reporter, you're in the running.
I would assume Brady seems like the type of guy in the very private. The world we live in, like somebody's going to say, oh, I'm hearing Tom Brady is possibly going to Tennessee.
And then he signs with Tennessee. And then, oh, that person will say, I had it first.
Right. But who do you think? If you had to guess right now, who's going to get it? Who's the closest to Brady's camp under the Patriots? Leroy? Leroy's going to get it? See, Leroy might actually get it because I might just tweet out right now, Tom Brady is expected to stay with the New England Patriots next year per sources.
Filed to the desk. Filed to the desk, knowing that that's like 60% likely, and then just squatting on that.
Lock your account. That's what you do.
Then I lock the account. And then delete all the ones that aren't right.
So have them go to all the teams. Right.
Then there could be a material change after the fact, which I'm sure you're aware of, but that's kind of my secret to breaking news is you just kind of take a

guess,

put it out there.

Right.

And that's the thing.

Sometimes you're right.

Right.

And if you're wrong,

nobody will remember.

Right.

Yeah.

Do you actually get into the plane tracking stuff?

Because that's what I feel like ESPN needs a dedicated,

like message board diehard that knows exactly how to track flights.

I'm not technologically sophisticated enough to do that kind of thing.

That's why we have field Yates. Yeah, that's him.
You can do the tracking of the... Field, in the field, tracking the planes.
It just seems like it's right. I can imagine Field just in a room, a dark room by himself with a red light, just sweating like he's in a submarine, just tracking planes all over the United States.
He's my designated plane tracker. Yeah, the crazy thing about Fields is he's got a name that I thought he was like 70 years old.
Whenever I heard it, I was like, Field Yates, that guy's ancient. He's like a colonel in the Civil War.
And his wife has got the greatest name. What is it? Again, it's...
Am I invading her privacy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys should text him to say...
No, he posts it all the time on Instagram, so I think it's fair. Chapin.
That's a good name. Chapin Yates.
Right, exactly. Is that Chapin Yates? That's great.
And you know what she was before she became Chapin Yates? She was Chapin Duke. You don't change your name from Duke.
What is that? Dude, Field should have been Duke. Field Duke.
Field Duke. Field Duke.
Field Duke. Now he's like an Austrian World War I general.
Or, like, flipped his name. He should have been Duke Field.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a porn star name.
Duke versus the field versus the middle name. Duke Field.
Duke versus the field. Every day he's you know, every year he's betting Duke.
But there's so many combinations of Field, Duke, Duke Field, Yates, Chapin, Chapin, Yates. We could do a lot of things with both their names.
I'm just telling you. They're missing out.

Any combination of those sounds like the guitar player for Johnny Cash.

That's what I hear.

I'm like, Field Chapin.

Yeah, you could play in a country western band for sure.

Let's do some more quarterbacks.

James Winston.

Where is he going to be?

Just a guess.

Now, these are all guesses.

These are not set in stone, but give us a guess. I don't like to give guesses.
Okay. You know why? But if you were to give a guess.
No, no, no. You know why? If I give a guess, then it becomes a headline.
Right. And it's just a guess, and so I'm guessing a headline.
Give me a sleeper, Jameis Winston team. Yeah.
I think you're starting to realize that the trick of us asking for sleepers is just to make headlines. It's bullshit.
Jameis Winston, returning to the Bucs. We can make headlines in other areas.
Okay. Here's one.
Do one. What NFL team do you think is next in line on the Condoleezza Rice shortlist? Well, you want the full story there? Yeah, please.
I really do, because when you tweet out that the Cleveland Browns are really interested in hiring Condoleez thank you, guys, because you know what? As their head coach... I was wondering whether you remember that.
I hope you remember your lie. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
That was maybe the most preposterous, freaking news story of my lifetime. Of my life.
And I hope it happens, but yes, please tell me. Do you want the backstory? Please.
The 100% truthful, honest backstory. Yep.
So that week, the Browns fire Hugh Jackson. They have a press conference in which their general manager at the time, John Dorsey, is quoted as saying, we're going to look under every rock and turn over every stone to get the best candidate, even if it's a woman.
That was on Tuesday or Wednesday. So that Friday, as we're getting ready for the Sunday shows, I said, let me call a couple of the Browns decision makers.
I'm not going to name any names. Right.
But there's been enough change in the organization that I feel like it's okay to now tell this story. Swagger died.
People shuffled in, people shuffled out. I called the homeless guy that told him to draft Johnny Manziel.
Right. So anyway, so I called somebody that would have been involved with the search.
And I said, you guys brought up the fact that you're going to look at every candidate, including woman. Is there a woman that you want to interview? And they said, yes, Condoleezza Rice.
And I said, am I allowed to report that? And they said, let me think about that. And that afternoon, the Browns called me back and said, yes, you can report that.
And on Saturday, the person who told me, called me, said, you're using that tomorrow, right? And I said, yeah. He said, that's going to be great.
Can't wait to see the reaction. I said, great.
On Sunday, I report. The Browns would like to talk to Condoleezza Rice.
It's one of the candidates they'd like to talk to. And an hour later, the Browns released a statement,

we've never talked about Condoleezza Rice.

Oh, they got you.

So they were messing with you.

Do you think they were doing that on purpose?

I think what happened was, is that,

you'll remember when it happened,

the internet kind of broke.

Yep, you broke the internet.

People were like, what are they doing?

And no, they just wanted to get ideas.

Like, that's all it was.

It wasn't like, they're hiring Condoleezza Rice. Condoleezza Rice was a person that they had interest in talking to, getting her perspective.

And you know what?

In the world we live in, that's probably wise.

Could she have been any worse than what they've done?

No.

True.

That's probably accurate.

Good point.

But she's never coached football.

So wasn't that a red flag to you?

So all of a sudden, one of the Browns, we're going to release a statement that just says this. I said, what? What? So a couple of theories on that.
One, either you had made an enemy. Let me just go.
Do you think I would have made it? Like, where would that have come from? It was so preposterous. That was the most logical explanation.
You had a fever dream. You were down in your basement with your airplane glue and you're like exactly so either somebody was messing with you or they were no you don't think that they were messing with you 100 not okay or they were trying to find a leak in the front office and so dorsey gave somebody that fred crumb and was like hey if this gets out in the news i know exactly who's leaking no interesting is the person that told you still there we don't know all i said i'm not i'm not interested in i will just say this to you there's been enough turnover there i'm gonna put a pin in that one yeah go ahead how come you didn't get let's put it this way the person who told me was directly involved in the search process we'll just say? Okay.
But was there a second that you stopped and you were like,

hey, I know that this person just told me this,

but maybe I should take a step back and think about, like,

are they really going to hire?

I did, right.

And then the person called me back Saturday,

and we talked about what was going to come out on Sunday.

Uh-huh.

So to me, that sounds like that person was very thirsty to get that scoop out.

Did you ever have like a –

No, no, it wasn't thirsty. It was, again, initially they contemplated whether they were willing to have that information go public because, again, we discussed it.
And I said, if you're uncomfortable, let me know. And they could, no, we're good.
Interesting. Do you ever have like a spidey sense that goes off though when somebody is being like a little too thirsty to try to get you this certain scoop and you have to think like, what's their angle on this? I mean, you know how certain things you've been through this.
I've done this for 30 years. You have a sense, just a certain instinct for what's legitimate, what's not, what's an agenda driven item, what's not, what's real, what's not.
It doesn't mean you're always right. I mean, you're human.
You can make mistakes. But in that particular case, it was as honest as it could be.
Okay. All right.
I got one last question. Seeky question.
Did that clear up the Condoleezza? Yeah. Yeah, you made it up.
Yeah, it's like we thought. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. You were slamming H in your driveway, and then you walked inside and saw, like, Fahrenheit 9-11 on TV, and you were like, oh, this is happening.
I haven't gone viral in a while. Let me figure out what I can concoct.
I think next year I'm going to have if the Jaguars do get rid of Doug Marone, they're going to interview Elizabeth Warren. There it is.
Perfect. As first reported.
We're going to get right back to the show. Welcome to What's Next.
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Just, I have to check in. It's, I think we're five, six years now.
What the fuck is the des tape, dude? We'll go back to that. I mean, why? You said you had the desk.
I never said I had the desk. You said you would release the des tape.
Here, I'll do a new one. If you don't even want to do the des tape, give me the bigger name in the Robert Kraft handjob gate.
You said there was a bigger name. I remember these things.
I'm waiting. You finally told us last year at the combine that you told us.
You said at the outset of this that I'm a recurring guest, so if and when we do this again next year, you will ask me about the desk tape and you will ask me about it.

Oh, we're just going to keep adding to it.

Yeah.

You told us last year that you would give us the bigger name in handjob tape.

He didn't.

We have not had a bigger name.

Kid Rock.

What if it was Adam Schefter?

Oh.

Will you deny that it was you?

Damn.

Will you say that 100% was not you that got a handjob in South Florida?

Correct. Okay.
I'm not going to say the same thing about Dave Portnoy, but I'm just going to say it. Great line.
Great line. All right.
So, Adam, we're going to be on your podcast on Monday. We're going to air this Friday.
One last question. Give me like an assault meter on a couple things.
You're walking. I intentionally trip you.

Assault.

I say to you dead in the eye, hey, Adam, I'm going to kill you, motherfucker.

Not assault.

That is assault.

That's assault.

I can't trust you anymore.

Verbal assault.

Yeah.

Verbal assault. I walk up behind you.

You're on TV.

I give you a wet willy.

Oh.

And you pee yourself.

Annoying is crazy.

Mm-hmm.

Not assault, though.

Not assault.

Not assault.

Well.

I don't know. you're on TV, I give you a wet willy.
Oh. And you pee yourself.
Annoying is crazy. Mm-hmm.
Not assault, though. Not assault.
Well. Yeah.
Debatable. Yeah.
Okay, what about if I see you in the hallway and I give you just maybe a little hip check, like nothing big. Assault? Unnecessary roughness.
Unnecessary roughness. Okay.
And one. I steal both your phones and I throw them in the trash can.

I light the trash can on fire.

That might be assault. Felony.

Oh.

Felony.

Yeah.

You think so?

Felonious.

Are you still on two phones or have you upgraded to three?

Two.

You should get them insured.

Like, you know how Jean-Claude Van Damme had to get his hands insured?

You should get those insured.

Yeah.

Just in case.

I got a new phone last week and it freaked me out because some of my texts were going

to my old phone. Some were coming to my new one.
Do you have a phobia about upgrading your phones? When you change it, it is awkward. It takes a long time to get used to.
I had an incident for the first time one of my phones fell in the toilet. Oh, no.
Assault. Well, how'd that happen? Self-assault.
Self-assault. You can self-assault yourself.
How did that happen? You just dropped it? Just dropped it. Damn, man.
Was there pee in there? Well, obviously there was because of you. They don't call me P-Boy.
Yeah, right. It was a fucking toilet full of pee.
Did you fish it out? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You go bare hand? P-Boy does, yeah. Did you put it in rice? Yeah.
All right. Well, Adam, thank you.
You still have it? Yeah. Which phone is your P phone this one okay careful p phone it's the bad phone it's the important it's the everything that'd be funny actually if your p phone after that like incident became the one that you got all the good stories on like it acquired magic powers freaky friday yeah Yeah.
Do I assault the... Assault.

Do I call the bat phone or the other one?

Or do I text the bat phone or the other one?

Well, it comes into... Sometimes it comes into both.

Oh.

I got them linked up.

I don't know...

What's the point of having two phones?

Well, one of them...

One phone, if Ford's messaging...

You've created woof for cell phones.

I'm trying to see.

Do you come into both?

Let's see.

Wow.

Yeah, you come into both.

Oh, wow. All right.
So I can get to you at any time Let's see. Wow.
Yeah, you come into both. Oh, wow.
Alright.

So I can get to you at any time. Alright, so Adam, thank you as always.

We are going to be on your show on Monday. We're going to tape it

right after this. Yes.
So go subscribe.

Know him from Adam.

Assault. Assault.

Yeah, that's it. I'm happy that you listened

to us. Assault should be the name of your podcast.

Oh, Assault Period. Assault with Adam

Schefter. Yes.

I mean. That's what we'll call this episode

that we're on. Assaultinging adam yes that's that this is actually we just helped you out big time yeah you really did subscribe i i'm indebted to you guys yeah all right so we'll see you on if anyone wants to listen we'll be on adam's show on mond.
Thanks, Adam. Thanks, guys.

That interview with Adam Schefter was brought to you by... We're going to get right back to the show.

Welcome to What's Next.

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Okay, let's finish up with some segments and hopefully PFT survives Vegas by the way. So we're talking to you right now before you get to Vegas.
Yeah, I'm about to go dress. And then I'm going to hit the road.
Dress shopping? No, be careful in Vegas. Okay.
You're running with some youngins. So...
I am. It's always a scary, you know, sight.
And you're going to be in heels. I feel like I'm...
It's true. Running in heels.
I'm going to... Yeah.
I think maybe one night of going hard is probably the plan for me. That'll be my Friday night, I think.
If I try to do two in a row, I can't do that anymore. I mean, it's going to be two days because yesterday you were like, I'm going to go hard on Saturday.
So I feel like you mentally were already preparing to mentally go hard on Saturday, and now that you're getting there a day early and just said that you're going to go hard on Friday. Yeah, you moved your flight up, so now you're going on Thursday.
Which just screams to me that you're going to have a hard 24 hours. You contradicted yourself so badly.
I'm just going to do one night. Yeah, guys, don't worry.
I'm going to hang out by the pool on Saturday. It's fine.
It's fine. I just moved up my flight.
I'll be there a little bit longer now. It's fine.
All right. BFT, you want to start with your FireFest? Yeah, I would love to.
So my FireFest, this will be relatable for a lot of you guys out there. My watch is stuck on my wrist.
What? So you heard me talk about it a little bit in the MVMT ad read. I'm not wearing a movement watch right now.
I'm wearing a c***hole watch. And I wore it out last night.
So a decent watch, but that's only because I couldn't find my movement and it is stuck on my wrist. I can't get it off.
Somehow the locking mechanism is broken on here and my hand, my wrist is starting to feel very claustrophobic. I'm actually panicking a little bit, even though it's just me wearing a watch.
If you can't get something off, it's like I've got a tracking bracelet on. That's what's going through my head right now.
And it's starting to really, really give me the willies. It is an uncomfortable feeling when you have something on your wrist that you cannot get off.
You're absolutely right. So what are you going to do? I don't know.
It's like a sturdy metal watch. So I can't cut through it.
I can't use a knife and cut it off.

Why?

You know what?

I'll bet you the very first woman that I asked if they could help me take my watch off, I guarantee you they're able to do it pronto.

For some reason, girls are always really good at that type of stuff.

I was looking on Valentine's Day.

I went to go Valentine's Day shopping, and I went to Macy's in the jewelry section, and there was legitimately 10,000 square foot of just different watch stations. And in my head, I was like, there's no way that people are still buying watches.
Well, except for movement. Right, but in stores.
You get them online. It's easier.
That's what I'm saying. Movement's great, but the storefront and the amount of watches that are out there just seems...
It's crazy. Yeah.
Oh, he's trying to take it off right now, folks. It's impossible.
I can't get it off. I got a tip for you.
Why don't you just dunk your hand really quickly into battery acid? Okay. Where do you think they keep the battery acid in this hotel? I don't know.

Maybe check next to the ice machine.

You need a saw. I'll just dip it in

my own piss. That's acidic, right?

Yes. Yeah, if you piss on it, like

if you piss on that watch

10,000 times,

it will come off. Yeah.

Should I go pee on it right now? Your pee watch?

All right. Pank's going to do his fire fest, though.

He's going to pee on his watch. My fire fest was that we were in Indy yesterday, and we changed our flight.
So we had a super early flight this morning. And last night, you and PFT, you know, you go to the dinner, go to schmooze with the coaches.
That's not really my thing. I don't really know these guys personally like you do.
And I realized.'t do much smoothing i realized at like

seven o'clock even though i could have like thought about it earlier in the day and just booked an earlier flight i realized at like eight o'clock that i could have just gone home last night instead of waking up super early and just kind of being miserable in the morning being so that was my fire fest but aren't weren't you happy that we got to spend time together and we had a nice dinner? It was a nice

dinner.

But we do spend a lot of

time. Aren't you happy that we got to spend time together and we had a nice dinner? It was a nice dinner.
But we do spend a lot of time together. By the way, the waitress.
I have two FireFests, but this is just an additional one. If you order a Guinness.
That was my other FireFest. I was trying to get the boys to get some sheesh, a bottle of sheesh.
And Big Cat was like, I'm going to get a Guinness. I was like, all right, fuck it.
I'll get a Guinness. I'm not going to order a glass of sheesh on my own.
So keep, I'm gonna get a Guinness. I was like, alright, fuck it, I'll get a Guinness.
I'm not gonna order a glass of sheesh on my own.

So, keep going. If you order a Guinness

at a restaurant, they

legally should have to tell you

whether it's a bottle or draft, because no

one orders a bottle of Guinness. No.

But I love a draft Guinness. So,

that was very illegal.

Like, I felt like... Like Pinty just shat.

Yeah, I don't know what he did.

He might have found the battery acid. Okay.

Hopefully that's... Make sure it's still

recording. Yeah, still

I'm sorry. Like, I felt like...
Like, Pinty just shat. Yeah, I don't know what he did.
He might have found the battery acid. Okay.
Hopefully that's... Make sure it's still recording.
Yeah, we're still going here. Okay, cool.
Yeah, we're still taping. So, yeah.
Hank's Fire Fest was just hanging out with us. Yeah.
The episode at the steakhouse last night that was probably the funniest was when Hank was considering ordering the Kobe beef, the the wagyu and he looked at the menu price and it assault said 25 dollars salt uh per ounce and hank was trying to order like one ounce of the wagyu beef yeah hank was trying to get a shot of wagyu that's all just like a jigger of of kobe beef and then big cat poor shamed me no i No, I didn't. I said go for it.
$75 for Wagyu. It was $125 for five ounces.

All right, I'll stick with the dinner. I have two Fyre Fests.
The first one is that PFT just won't believe me that medium rare plus exists, even though every time we go somewhere, I order it, and the waitress, it's happened probably about a dozen times where he turns to the waitress or waiter and is like, is that real? And they always are like, oh, he got it off. The piss.
It came off. The piss worked.
Hell yeah. My wrist feels so great right now.
So every time we go, I order medium rare plus, and then he turns to him and says, is that real? And they always say yes, and he still doesn't believe me. They kind of roll their eyes.
You can see them roll their eyes when you say medium rare plus. Then, not only that, but I ordered medium rare plus.
He ordered medium rare. We looked at the steaks.
There was a difference, and he just switched the argument. He goes, I'd rather have my steak than yours.
Mine looked way better. That's just objective.
My steak looked amazing. I am convinced that at nice steakhouses, if you order a medium rare, they will always undercook it instead of cooking it to medium rare.
They will always err on the side of caution, and I don't like... Err on the side of rare? Yeah, I don't like the medium rare minus.
So that's why I get plus. I'm fine with that.
Is that a thing? The err on the side of taste. Ooh, PFC, that's what you should do.
He tried. He tried last night.
I did. I said medium rare minus.
Yeah, they're like, no. No, you could get rare plus.
You can do rare plus? I'm sure. That's like the same thing as medium rare minus.
That's minus assist. Exactly.
That's minus assist. Right.
All right, my other fire fest is we were, Bubba, Hank, and I were in an Uber, and we were driving by Lucas Oil, and I was like, oh, we might be back here for Wisconsin if they get to the Sweet 16. And the guy, the Uber driver just completely out of the left field was like, oh

you're a Badger fan? That place

has had some really bad games

for you guys and like

then just kept on talking about it. He's like, there was

the 2015 against Duke

when you guys lost against

Ohio State and Hank and Liam

were just sitting in the back just like

you thought they were listening

to like Dave Chappelle open mic

like it was the funniest thing in the world so I

I'm sorry. Ohio State and Hank and Liam were just sitting in the back.
Just like you thought they were listening to like Dave Chappelle open mic. Like it was the funniest thing in the world.
So I was just getting roasted by an Uber driver. And there's nothing, no worse feeling.
Zero stars. Did you rate him? No, I gave him five stars.
Yeah, I did. I gave him five stars.
Also, we. Friend of the people.
We also had an Uber driver who was the Trill Ballins avatar. He was a Bruins Giants, San Francisco Giants, Celtics Packers fan.
So, like, from 2009 to, like, 2011 he won all the titles. That's unbelievable.
How does that happen? You said Packers, San Francisco Giants. He was super old, so it was like the dominant teams of the early 80s.
Yeah, he basically was like, yeah, I loved Willie Mays, Larry Bird, and then I don't know how he became Packers, and then Bruins, I don't even know, probably Bobby Orr. And he had that stretch.
Wow. It must be so awesome just rooting for good teams all the time in every sport.
Well, they're not always good, but that stretch was incredible. That was an incredible stretch for him.
And, I mean, recently, being a San Francisco Giants fan has been pretty good overall. Yeah.
Being a Packers fan is good. Being a Celtics fan is good.
Bruins, not bad. They have a Hall of Fame quarterback that only won one Super Bowl? That seems a little – you could say that for both of them.
Oh, the Packers? Yeah. I don't know.
I think the Packers have had a very nice stretch here the last 20 years. I wonder how much you left on the table.
All right. Let's do some segments.
Saber metrics. The Houston Astros are getting plunked a shitload already nine times.
And we've only had like four spring training games. I'm so excited for this.
This is the story.

This is what we've been talking about.

This needs to happen for the entire year.

I want to find out what the line is on the amount of times that the Astros are going to get beamed this year,

and I'm going to take the over on it no matter what

because that's going to be such a fun bet to track as the season goes on.

But on the sabermetric side of things,

are the Houston Astros actually going to have like a record high

for on-base percentage this year because they're going to just get doinked all the time. That's true.
That's a good point. Like I feel, I feel like I might take the, uh, the season win total over for the Astros just on that alone.
There's some value there. That's what you say when you have like a really dumb ass argument that people who are actually smart won't really believe you just say there's value in that pick.
There's value there. So that's why I'm going to take it.
Yeah, I'm just – there's an account that I followed today that I'm going to shout out real quick because it's – everyone has to follow it if you're an Astros hater because it seems like they're going to compile it for the rest of the – oh, yeah, the account is called Asterix Tour, the 2020 Astros Shame Tour.

And they're just basically going to retweet every Astros player that gets plunked and every sign that calls them out and everything.

So that seems like a good place that you can just aggregate all your Astros hate.

Yep.

I love it.

All right.

Next up, we have a Respect the Biz.

We had a pretty big problem at the Combine today. Do you have that tweet in front of you, PFT? I do, yeah.
So this is from our friend JP Finley. He works out of DC.
Great follow if you like DC sports. He says, they're out of Diet Pepsi in the media room, and people are loud mad.
The catering staff said more would come at 1145, and this dude stormed off, said, that doesn't help me now. He had his own big gulp cup to peak NFL media scene.
So yeah, thoughts and prayers. This is this is apocalypse movie stuff right here when it comes to sports journalists is running out of Diet Pepsi.
So if you want to see a riot, journalists are all about the polite discourse until they run out of their beloved low-calorie sodas. Well, it also came out today that because of the coronavirus, it might affect Coca-Cola's the way they do their artificial sweetener.
Oh, no. So we might be in a Diet Coke recession.
Where are we as a podcast on coronavirus? Where is it ranked? Are they title shot? Are they 15 is it properly ranked is it overrated or is it underrated right now are they in the top 25 virus is overrated right now it's having a moment but i don't know if it's got the clutch gene because it hasn't mutated yet so i would say that the coronavirus is overrated because it only has a two percent mortality rate, which frankly is trash, like 2%. Get out of here with that.

And I would honestly get coronavirus just for the content. I think it would be a good addition to the show.
We should do – I'm thinking about it now like top 25. I would say coronavirus is that others receiving votes, and they got like six votes.
No, they're like UCF. Everyone's talking about them, but they're not actually a contender.
They could be in a couple weeks, but I don't have them ranked right now. Like number one's nuclear war.
Number two, climate change. There's a lot of things that are threatening us.
Coronavirus is receiving votes now. They've had a couple good roadways.
Who have they played? Nobody. They've had an easy schedule schedule so far they've got the secret of chinese government that would rather just totally ignore the entire outbreak than have to like discuss it openly in the media there's some issues in iran right now they've got a bad public health situation right there so you know talk to me talk to me when you do some damage in scandinavia where they have good hospitals talk to me uh not when you're on my block.
talk to me when you're at my door, coronavirus. It's week four, and coronavirus beat, they pasted Vanderbilt at home, they beat Arkansas and Fayetteville, and maybe they played like UTEP in the non-conference schedule, so they're making noise, but they're not ranked yet.
There's no question about it. They've covered the spread against some clearly inferior opponents right now, but we don't know who they are.
I'll say it to you this way. In my who's now bracket, the coronavirus is a solid eight seed.
Ooh, okay. Okay, let's finish up.
We got some FAQs, and then we'll let everyone go for the weekend. Hank, you want to go? It's not a class.
People can go whenever they want. Sure, you can leave whenever you want, although we do have some really good interviews that we taped in Indianapolis coming up with some coaches, coach friends.
You'll tell people at the end of the FAQs so they stay? I will tell everyone the three names at the end of the FAQs so you stay. I'm in a new relationship with a girl who is very confident in her ability to beat me in a 100-yard foot race.
I take it as a direct challenge to my explosiveness. I told her I'd smoke her, and we are planning to do it next week.
What is the proper punishment if I were to lose this race? Did DK Metcalf write this? That's why I brought it up. It's a very similar situation.
So let's figure out a punishment. What's an appropriate punishment for a guy losing to a girl in a foot race? I think if you lose, you have to just keep running until you go for two miles.
Yeah. That's not bad.
It also is like one of those weird things that when you win, you're just going to feel like an asshole. True.
This is like – I don't care how much gloating she was doing before the fact. If you beat your girlfriend in a foot race and then you're like, yeah, suck it, bitch.
I'm faster than you. That's probably going to end your relationship.
So you almost have to throw it and not win. And then you're going to have to keep running for two miles afterwards.
Right. So you're kind of just a weirdo once you win it and then you're like wait i was making that big of a deal and now i'm just a jerk so play it cool man don't be an idiot hey chon cat and pft pretty furry tiger there's a lot of talk about the 40 yard dash in the combine who would have the faster time if you switched weight cat Cat or PFT? Oh, that's funny.

I think Big Cat definitely.

Yeah.

You're low.

I'm definitely the slowest of the group here.

That's for sure.

If we switched weights, I would probably be able to beat you.

Who do you think would win between me or PFT?

We might have to do this as a warm-up before DK.

I don't even know.

I'm not fast.

No. But I think I might be faster than fast.
How much do you weigh? 175? I would smoke you. I would absolutely smoke you.
I'm not going to definitively say you wouldn't because I'm not very fast. I might beat you.
I got longer strides. I think PFT is the fastest of the group.
Find out. We'll do it before DK.
Okay. I feel like Bubba is sneaky really, really slow.
Nah. He got hit.
Oh, slow, you said? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, my left ankle is completely made out of metal.
I thought you were going to say fast. I'm very slow.
I thought you were about to say fast. No, he looks like if you just saw a picture of Bubba, you'd probably say he's the fastest of everybody in this podcast.
But then I feel when he moves he vapes too much that's his thing he has to like stop for air after 15 yards yeah Bubba's deceptively has deceptive speed he's slower than he looks yes uh sup guys my girlfriend tells me that listening to PMT makes me dumber but she finally agreed to listen to one episode with me on our road trip.

Which episode should I have her listen to for this crucial moment?

Fuck.

Did we ever do the Howard Stern thing where we made a woman orgasm?

No, I've never made a woman orgasm.

Fuck.

Maybe this one.

So then when you get to this, it's like, hey, what's up? Thanks for listening. We love you.
Yeah, do this. What, the orgasm? But also, how is he going to know this? When he listens to it.
So he's going to make a listen to this one in the back. Listen to the life advice one, because that is unlike any other episode of Part of my take so listen to that one and then

she'll be like wow these guys have really candid conversations about their anxieties uh their work lives in their 20s how to balance out professional goals with private lives and then uh right after that just player one of the ones where we just throw up on ourselves yeah or player the kobe one Right after Kobe passed, we were really serious and cool.

Yes. yeah or play the kobe one right after kobe passed we were really uh serious and cool yes when you do monday recaps do you play the music in studio if so how do you get timed it to run how do you time it to run the correct amount of time if not are the guys just making noises and doing berman's voice in silence i actually don't know they h Hank plays it, but I don't know how the rest of it works.
We do play the music. We don't play the music, though, for Fantasy Fuckboys.
Oh. That one is just like.
Which is a lot weirder. Yeah, we're just screaming in the studio with no music underneath.
So that one's definitely a lot weirder if you look at it. So for fastest.
Right away. One of the hardest parts about writing fastest two minutes every week is that we have to write it so it exactly times out when the music's over.
So we write. We pay very close attention to it every single syllable.
Yeah, every single syllable we write knowing that we have to squeeze in all 16 matchups in exactly two minutes' time. So, yeah, it about halfway through we implemented playing the actual eagles instrumental which i thought helped a lot with the uh just the melody you guys were much more on pitch yeah it's true big very very true sup bang on sonkas whoa i don't i think that's gotta be british right sure bang on.
Sunkas. Why is it that your nipples get bigger when it's cold, but your dick and balls shrink? I actually know the reason for the second part of that.
So when your balls shrivel up when it's cold, it's because they are seeking warmth. Because you're a sperm factory, right? And you're a nut sack.
So it has to stay closer to your body to be the right temperature to produce sperm because the optimal sperm-producing temperature is a little bit chillier than the rest of your body. That's why they're not internal.
That's why they hang out outside your body. Okay, makes sense.
I'm going to buy it. I'm going to buy it.
What's up, Mr. 35 and Dad Cat?

What's the update on 2020 squats and push-ups?

I do it every day.

Yeah?

Minus a few days.

Did you do it today?

I tell people are doing it.

No, I'm going to do it today.

I've been doing it every day.

So, yeah.

I missed one day.

A week.

A day.

All right, last one. I haven't done it since January 3rd.
What's good, guys? I have a twofer for the people. PFT, how did your parents react when you told them you're going to be a bridesmaid in the upcoming wedding? Have you told them to, for DadCat, have you decided that you're going to be the cool dad out of Small Cat's future friend group? Like, let's say you walk in on future Small Cat ripping a huge dube with the boys.
What do you do? You're going to hop in the rotation or are you laying down the law? I'll answer mine first. I think that cool dad thing, that doesn't really work.
That's not cool. You've got to wait until they're 18 plus.
Yeah, it's not really cool. No it's cool your hashtag boy dad yeah yeah just just token fat L's with the fellas it's uh yeah that's one of those ones where I think it would just make your uh son hate you way more all your friends like your dad's so cool you're somebody like no he It sucks.
Yeah. I definitely had some friends whose parents would like smoke with us all the time when we were younger.
And at the time it was like kind of cool, but five, six years go, go past. And you're just like, that was fucking weird.
They should not have been doing that. Right.
I think once you, once you're, once you're back from college though, then it's like, then it's cool. But in high school, it's like, all right, you're like the person with Mean Girls.
And as for me, I have not told my parents that I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. So if we could keep that between us.
Will, so the pictures of you in a dress, is that something that you plan on them seeing? Or is that one you're just hoping that kind of goes past the radar? Depends how hot I look. I mean, if I'm a fucking smoke, then, yeah, I'm going to post that shit everywhere.
Yes, absolutely. Check it out, Mom.
One thing that I am a little bit concerned about is the level of accessorizing that I'm going to need to do with this dress because it dawned on me that dresses don't usually have pockets. And I've always been a guy that wears different types of pants with

pockets.

So,

uh,

I don't know.

I have to,

do I have to get a purse too?

Hmm.

Yes.

Yes.

I feel like I got to get a bag and then does my bag have to match my

dress or does it match my shoes?

All,

all the above.

So all the same color.

And then somebody told me I need to get a garter. I don't know what a garter is, but I don't feel like wearing one.
You got to get that, too. And a veil.
And then, no, that's for the bride. Oh, I should wear all white.
It would be cool, yeah. It would be sick.
Yeah, yeah. I should upstage the bride and wear a wedding dress.
The problem that I'm foreseeing running into with this dress situation is that if I get a dress that fits me, I feel like it's going to be tight around the groin area.

And that could be just a bad visual for everyone.

No one wants to see that.

So do I have to buy a dress that's, like, too big?

No, you got this.

I don't think you should worry about the visuals.

Just fucking, dude, it's Vegas.

It's Vegas.

All right.

I wish that there was a girl that could go dress shopping with me right now Because I think I'm going to need some help You got this I'll send you guys pictures from the dressing room We'll give you feedback Alright that's our show We'll see you on Monday Mike Vrabel, Jay Gruden, Doug Marone See you on Monday Love you guys I love you guys so much Listen I love you every Monday. Love you guys.
Don't cut this out, Hank. Love you guys.

I love you guys.

I love you guys so much.

Listen, I love you guys.

I really love you guys.

I love you guys.

No matter what Hank says or what he does, I love you guys.

Think about me switching back and forth between saying I love you guys and I really love you guys.

I love you guys.

We created something phenomenal.

Don't you agree?

Don't you agree? I love you. Don't you agree Let's get physical.
Lights out. Time of the night.
Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Let's get physical.
Let's the day. I'll get my head back in the day.

Let's get physical. physical physical physical physical physical physical physical physical physical all night I'm riding with you I know you've got my back and you know I got you So come on, come on, come on

Let's get physical

Lights down, follow the night

Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice

So come on, come on, come on

Let's get physical. Let's get physical.
Let's get physical. Let's get physical.
Let's get physical. Let's get physical.
Let's get physical. Let's get physical.
Let's get. Thank you.
It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.