Actor Miles Teller, MLB Playoff Rules, And We Get Inside The Mind Of A Marketing Genius, Dana B

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boar's Head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 2 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 2 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 2 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 2 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Miles Teller. A little interesting, different type of interview.

Speaker 1 I actually didn't know a ton about Miles Teller, but I liked the guy. He was a true ball buster in the good way, so we had a lot of fun with him.
We have baseball losing their mind.

Speaker 1 We have hot seat cool thrown, guys on chicks, a little this league, a lot to get to on a Wednesday.

Speaker 3 And before we do all of that, the pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.

Speaker 3 Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck. Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready.

Speaker 3 Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done. Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Look behind a lot of

Speaker 1 It's part of my tape presented by Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code BarStool. You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA.
You can also buy some stocks, Penn National stock.

Speaker 1 Do it right now with the Cash App. Today is Wednesday, February 12th.

Speaker 1 And baseball is very relevant. Way to stay relevant baseball.
You have maximized the first two weeks of February. Really, this was their sweet spot.

Speaker 1 Well, because they knew that they were going to have a couple weeks they could sneak in right after the Super Bowl, before the combine. They didn't count on the XFL.

Speaker 1 And they wanted to get everyone to stop talking about the Astros and the fact that their entire, like the last three championships have been tarnished by people banging on trash cans.

Speaker 1 And sneakily, all they had to do to get us to stop talking about the Astros was to just not have baseball be in the news at all.

Speaker 1 Or we naturally, in the cyclical nature of sports, this is baseball hibernation season that we're in. So they could have just kept their mouths shut and we wouldn't bring it up.
But they did.

Speaker 1 They changed the rules. They did a little Mike Greenberg.
It's an entire league run by an army of Mike Greenbergs right now. Do you have the rules in front of you? Yeah, so

Speaker 1 it's a proposal.

Speaker 1 And let's back up for a second because this actually is prime baseball season for the most die-hard baseball fan you know, tweeting three days till pitchers and catchers or pitchers and catchers have you know arrived and we're still two months away from meaningful baseball.

Speaker 1 So it is pitchers and catchers, as far as I know, they spend like one week away from Arizona and Florida every year. They take like a year vacation from being reported.

Speaker 1 It's a big season for watching your favorite team, like the new acquisition, throw

Speaker 1 10 baseballs off a mound and then go and play 18 holes of golf.

Speaker 1 Through a, like you take a picture of them or a grainy video, like a Bigfoot quality video through a chain link fence that also has that blockade screen displayed over it from about 300 yards away.

Speaker 1 New rule for baseball. We're going to get to the actual proposed new rules, but here's how you could stay relevant baseball.

Speaker 1 Have Bartolo Cologne report every single spring, even though he's not on a team anymore, just to see how fat he is. Just have him report.
Just have that be a pick.

Speaker 1 That should actually be like like Punksatani Phil. It should be baseball's back.
He just reports to just Arizona in general. He doesn't even go to a camp.
He can do both.

Speaker 1 He can do one Arizona, one Florida, have the families on opposite coasts. There you go.
Perfect.

Speaker 1 And then he just shows up carrying like an old school suitcase, wearing a Tommy Bahamas shirt, and a fedora. That's a boom.

Speaker 1 That's the perfect beginning to spring right there. Okay, so the proposed rule is baseball wants to, I think it's in 2022, it would start, they want to have the playoffs shift to seven teams.

Speaker 1 Seven teams make the playoffs in the AL and seven teams make the playoff in the NL. Now what happens from there? The first team, the best team in the league, gets a buy.

Speaker 1 So both AL and NL have one buy. Then going down the list from there, you have

Speaker 1 the next best team. gets to pick their first round opponent.
And so the first round switches.

Speaker 1 So the first round, instead of the one-game playoff, the first round is now a three-game series all at the higher seeds home stadium so there's still benefit for being a two three or four seed or no two two two or three seed okay

Speaker 1 wait no two three or four yes because five six seven so two three and four all are at home for three games got it to start the playoffs now what happens

Speaker 1 selection sunday they're all at home for a three-game series yes so all three games are you mean two out of three all three games are at home Oh, wow. Okay.
Yeah. So it gives obviously the benefit.

Speaker 1 You know, if you're 81 and 81 and you get the seventh seed, you don't get a home playoff. All right, so let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 If you're in the National League and you're going up again, let's say the Dodgers somehow only get the fifth seed.

Speaker 1 Do you want playoff cursor in the first round? Yeah, this is the intrigue. So this is why, and we'll get to the fallout and people being upset about it, but yes,

Speaker 1 that's what ends up happening. So you get the selection Sunday.
The two, three, and four get to, or two and three get to pick their opponent, four goes with whoever's left.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the two seed gets to pick whoever they want to play. It could be the seventh team, it could be the fifth team.
It doesn't matter. Or this, yeah, the fifth team.
I'm getting confused.

Speaker 1 Gotcha, yeah. Basically, I got all the numbers.
Basically, the four is like the last person at the bar at the end of the night, and you're like, Yeah, I guess me and you are we're going to do this.

Speaker 1 It's the ultimate bulletin board material because the two-seed gets to pick a team and basically say, We're going to kick the shit out of this team, and then that team gets to say, no one believes in us, we're going to kick the shit out of you.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, the three-seed seed gets to pick, and then the four seed ends up with the five or whoever is left. And that will be the new playoffs.

Speaker 1 And then they go next round goes back to the regular. So four teams are left, regular five-game series.
Got it. Then the CS.
I personally, it's crazy. It's stupid.

Speaker 1 And I know baseball purists will hate it.

Speaker 1 But from a fundamental level of making September more enjoyable, making a lot of markets still feel like they have a shot, having just more playoff baseball, which isn't a bad thing, and eliminating the one-game playoff that always kind of feels like it screws someone over.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of in on this. Listen, I don't like the one-game playoff, even though it worked out really well for the Nationals this year just because of that error in like the eighth inning.

Speaker 1 But I was very close to being on the wrong side of that one-game playoff, and it sucks. Yeah.
It sucks. I don't like it at all.

Speaker 1 It doesn't feel fair, like after 162-game season, to have one game where it's like, okay, you lose, you go home. So I'm with you.
I like replacing that.

Speaker 1 I also like the intrigue of having a bye week, even though I hope that a team I root for never has a bye week. That sounds like it sucks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just sit around and well, you get to get everyone in line. You get to watch everyone else beat each other up.
So it's actually good. I mean, it's a competitive advantage.
I know, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 And it really isn't that long because I would assume they would start playing the next series. Like they'd play the first round right away.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it would be like Thursday or Friday would be your first game. I don't like the idea of a bye week.
I don't like it. I like keeping in rhythm if you're a baseball team.

Speaker 1 Well, rest versus rust debate. There we go.

Speaker 1 We can have it every single year.

Speaker 1 But I do like how it's messing with people's brains because you're right, the outcome of all this is I think it's more fun.

Speaker 1 It's more fun, and it screws things up because people in the past are like, wait, this is change. Baseball people don't like change.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the day, I think that this is a pretty entertaining way of doing it. It's just weird.
It's weird. It's just weird.
It is weird.

Speaker 1 It took us like five minutes to explain what the hell is going on. And that's four minutes more than my brain in

Speaker 1 this age of the internet can process. So the downside, and I understand this, the baseball season is already very, very long.

Speaker 1 I actually think it should be about 10 games shorter, regardless, and don't play all the way till December, although snow baseball would be incredible. But the downside is this.

Speaker 1 You will end up having a bunch of rich owners try to tell their fan base that they've made the playoffs three or four years in a row when they were like 82 and 80 and getting the sixth or seventh seed.

Speaker 1 There will be some crappy teams that get into the tournament, and that is kind of bullshit. And you have like that whole, they don't ever, owners can basically never have to go all in because

Speaker 1 they can sell to their fan base that they're always competitive because they finished three games away from making the playoffs, even though in the way it's currently constructed, they would have been 10 games out or something.

Speaker 1 I still think this would be like it's more fun. There's more teams.
It's more fun.

Speaker 1 The trade deadline gets more intriguing. The September gets more intriguing.
Like, it all seems like it would make sense. I know that baseball is the last sport to change, but this feels like I'm in.

Speaker 1 Okay, the other side of that coin that you just mentioned, which is some shittier teams can make the playoffs, we get upsets in the playoffs now. Yeah.
We can have Cinderella stories in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 We can have a team like a. Can you imagine a seven seed? The Mets last year, I think, would have made it as a six or seven seed.
Yeah, can you imagine? They had one of the best pitching rotations.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine a seven?

Speaker 1 Now that I've got my own personal untainted World Series title as a diehard Nats fan, I'm fine with whatever screwy changes they make and somebody sneaking in as a seventh seed to the World Series next year?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm fine with that. I think you're right.
The more fan bases that are involved later on in the season, the better for everybody. And you know what?

Speaker 1 Those owners that are going to say, well, you know what? We made the playoffs. We don't have to change that much.
They're the same owners that are just not going to change anything anyways. Right.

Speaker 1 And the like the shitty teams getting in, that kind of will suck. Like, there's, I'm looking at it right now.
I think, I think everyone would have been NBA. Everyone would have been over 500.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's an argument. It's a channel chair.
That's all we need. Almost half the league is making the playoffs.
But, okay. I mean, that's still fun.
I chill, too.

Speaker 1 It's like, I don't see a problem with that long term because back in the day, the... It's encouraging mediocrity, though.
Well, but here's the problem.

Speaker 1 Baseball, if you root for a team that is out in, I don't know, July. Like, that happens all the time in baseball.
I feel like more teams would be invested. more cities wouldn't be invested.

Speaker 1 Like, take the Seattle Manors, for example. Seattle hasn't made the playoffs in 20 years.
I don't think people realize that. They haven't made the playoffs since 2001.
Like,

Speaker 1 that would be fun to have Seattle play off baseball either in Seattle. They wouldn't make it in Seattle because it wouldn't be good enough to say that.
But maybe they'd get in there.

Speaker 1 It's paying off the owners that haven't put in the effort to make their teams. I agree with that.

Speaker 1 I agree with that. They're paying off the people that are just

Speaker 1 taking advantage of the fans. I agree with that.
That is a fundamental flaw in this. But Hank, it's also giving you a chance.

Speaker 1 It's saying that I'm sure Seattle would be fine with having their owner continue to not strive for greatness and do anything to try to win them a World Series if it meant that they had been in the playoffs five of the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 And they get that one week of glory. As a Redskins fan, that one wild card that we get once every six years is an electric weekend.

Speaker 1 I'm addicted to In the Hunt. I'm addicted to In the Hunt.

Speaker 1 Everyone's in the hunt. Everyone is in the hunt at all times.

Speaker 1 It's funny because this seems like a bailout for the owners. That's how it is.
It is. No, and it also is, this is Hank Leftwood.
We immediately

Speaker 1 have a millionaires and the billionaire. It's a participation trophy.
But we, by the way, participation trophies, like just a quick word on that.

Speaker 1 As soon as I became a dad, my son got a gold medal for just showing up to Jim.

Speaker 1 He deserved that gold medal. Like, I was like, fuck, yeah, you got that, dude.
You fucking showed up. So I'm all in on participation trophies.
That flipped in my brain.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with participation trophies. I love them.
What's the first thing that you do? You give them like bronze shoes, right? It's like, yeah, here you go. You made it into the world.

Speaker 1 I texted everyone in the picture. I was like, check it out.
Gold medal. No big deal.
He's only six months old. It's like, what'd he do? Well, he sat there.
And he sat there. But guess what?

Speaker 1 Gold medal. Leroy one time got a certificate for not getting kicked out of obedience class.
That's huge. That was massive for him.
That's huge. I'm fine with that.

Speaker 1 And going back to like rewarding mediocrity. I'm going to flip it because some people say we reward mediocrity too much.

Speaker 1 I think that the best life lesson of all is teaching you that if you're perfectly average at something and you get hot at the right time in the right place, you can be great.

Speaker 1 That's ultimately

Speaker 1 life. Forget this bullshit where it's like you have to strive to succeed and dominate everything if you want greatness.
That's not true at all. No.

Speaker 1 As long as you're like averagely consistent at something

Speaker 1 and then you peak at the right time, boom.

Speaker 1 That's as great as you could hope for in a life. No one's really special.
You can have special moments, though. That's right.
My son's gold medal. Right.
Well,

Speaker 1 honestly, don't diminish that. He showed up for Jim.
He was there. But this does sound like an Adam Silver idea that he got.

Speaker 1 He gets his ideas from Twitter, and Rob Manford gets his ideas from Arrowwood. Well, and again,

Speaker 1 we said at the start, this was clearly a let's have everyone not talk about the Astros. So we can see right through that.
I would imagine this isn't going to even happen.

Speaker 1 Trevor Bauer went straight at Rob Manford on Twitter, which I love that. Like, even though I like this idea, I like that Trevor Bauer is just like, fuck this.
I'm going straight at the commissioner.

Speaker 1 And he basically just said, I'm pulling up his tweet right now. He said, no idea who made this new playoff format proposal, but Rob is responsible for releasing it.

Speaker 1 So I'll direct this to you, Rob Manfred. Your proposal is absurd for too many reasons to type on Twitter and proves you have absolutely no clue about baseball.
You're a joke. You're a joke.

Speaker 1 You're a joke. Now, the biggest shock in that, he spelled your Y-O-U apostrophe R-E, right? Correct.
Yeah. Wow.
So he did it. So he went all in.

Speaker 1 Either way, we're talking about baseball, so credit to baseball. You got us to talk about you in the middle of February.
There should be an XFL for baseball.

Speaker 1 Now, I want an XFL for everything, for like every single sport, just like an alternative.

Speaker 1 With weirder rules. They have three levels of minor league baseball.
Yeah, but I'm talking about like

Speaker 1 four or five. Weird rules, like a rule where

Speaker 1 you can elect to bat from 10 feet away from the pitcher, and your home run will be worth 10. So we're just

Speaker 1 every sport on asset. Yes.
Okay, I'm down with that. That's the Arrowid thing.
Yeah. All right, so you can watch us on barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
We also have all dog Bat Boys.

Speaker 1 All dog Bat Boys works. We also have little quick football news.
So Phil Rivers, officially no longer a San Diego Charger. Sad day.

Speaker 1 Credit to the Chargers who changed their Twitter avatar to 17. That was a nice little, you know,

Speaker 1 that's our guy. And then

Speaker 1 there's a mutual parting of ways. Mutual parting of ways

Speaker 1 correctly. Yes.
They both decided that Philip Rivers shouldn't be a charger. Right.
They both decided that Philip Rivers' skills are vastly diminishing and we needed to move on.

Speaker 1 We also have news from the Tom Brady camp.

Speaker 1 So Robert Kraft basically said the only way that this is going to work is if Tom Brady goes and tests free agency and Bill Belichick goes and tests free agency and they both realize they love each other.

Speaker 1 This is the plot of the breakup, right? This is the plot of like 100,000 movies. Did you see the breakup? Because they, they, I mean, they didn't end back up together.

Speaker 1 They saw each other on the street, but we don't know.

Speaker 1 The breakup, that's the Vince Vaughn one. Yeah, they didn't, they saw each other the last scene, but we don't, we don't know if they ended up back together.
We, we, we thought they might.

Speaker 1 Who's playing the role of the karaoke, like, a cappella-obsessed brother-in-law? It's got to be Gronk in this one, right? Yeah, come.

Speaker 1 Are you not worried? No,

Speaker 1 did so.

Speaker 1 You're not worried at all that someone overpays for Tom Brady, or on the alternative, which I think is totally a possibility, Bill Belichick, someone like an Andy Dalton or Jameis Winston or someone like that says, hey, I'll take like $0 to play for you.

Speaker 1 That would be interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because, I mean, if you're a quarterback who thinks, hey, I have skills, but I've been coached poorly my entire life, you'd go and take nothing to go play for Bill Belichick. Jay Cutler.

Speaker 1 I'm I'm absolutely not worried. I'm not even letting myself get worried for a second.
If it happens, I'm going to be blindsided and heartbroken, but I don't.

Speaker 1 I still think he's going to end up a patriot. I'm not letting myself even consider that a possibility.

Speaker 1 I still think he's going to be a patriot, but that does feel like a weird strategy to be like, hey, everyone needs to go

Speaker 1 fool around with other people and hope they still love each other at the end of the day. Yes.
Yeah. Okay.
If you love something, set it up. It's not going to fool around with each other.

Speaker 1 If it returns, then it was meant to be. Yeah, there's also, there's other movies where it's the same plot line, but it's like you go out, you try and talk to other girls, and you're just like, ugh.

Speaker 1 I want that old thing back. What? Really? They're like, I want that old thing.
That's where you're calling Tom Brady, that old thing. No, Tom Brady's going to say that about the Patriots.

Speaker 1 You want Bob Kraft, that old thing? Tom Brady's going to get whined and died by the Chargers and be like, ugh. Yeah, the gross.
Yeah. Gross.
Pretty much. Los Angeles sucks.

Speaker 1 Where else is he being moved to right now? Tennessee?

Speaker 1 Texas? Dallas? Texas? I mean, Dallas. Michael Irvin just started that rumor out of nowhere.
A lot of places with very lax incest laws. There's noticed.

Speaker 1 There's

Speaker 1 a cottage industry this offseason where you can just create rumors.

Speaker 1 Like Michael Irvin just decided, hey, you know what? I'm going to get my name out there and just create a rumor. Say the Cowboys wanted Tom Brady.
I am hearing Tom Brady to

Speaker 1 the Oakland

Speaker 1 Las Vegas Raiders. That's what I just heard.
He could move right across the road. Came to Derek Carr's house.
He came right across the line right now.

Speaker 1 So no.

Speaker 1 It's like we talked to Jason Biggs a couple weeks ago. We haven't aired the interview yet, but spoiler alert, his wife bought him a hooker for their anniversary.

Speaker 1 That's kind of what Bob Kraft is doing here. He's getting Tom Brady a nice massage and getting Belichick a nice massage.

Speaker 1 Either way, I'm actually like, I want to thank them because this does create content for basically the month of March, like football content in the month of March. It really will be the biggest story.

Speaker 1 There's actually a lot of quarterbacks that are going to be. I mean, Dak, Phillip Rivers,

Speaker 1 Jameis, I do think Dalton. Nick Foles.
True Brees. Taysom Hill.
Once Nick Foles' name comes across Bill Belichick's desk, that's going to be a moment of truth right there.

Speaker 1 It's like, do I want to go for this guy? Get him on the cheat, maybe?

Speaker 1 Could you imagine if Bill Belichick won a Super Bowl with Andy Dalton?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I can.
I could imagine it. Yeah, probably, probably.
That would be. For sure.
I just can't imagine Andy Dalton like...

Speaker 1 like looking at Andy Dalton and be like, yeah, he's got it. Okay, well, let's continue.

Speaker 1 What was that eye roll, Hank? Go ahead. Nothing, nothing.
Do it. Nothing.
Say it. No.
Say it. I got nothing.

Speaker 1 Hank was about to say how we stick up for every recurring guest of the show that's been a quarterback, but now you're trashing Andy Dalton. We give him a hard time.

Speaker 1 No, I was going to say Andy Dalton greater than Jimmy G. Oh,

Speaker 1 there's the take.

Speaker 1 That is spicy. I like it.
Oh, that's another team that's going to be able to do it. Oh, I mean,

Speaker 1 the Patriots are like, oh, if they had Jimmy G, they'd be winning. If they had Andy Dalton, they probably would be winning as well.
Would you take Jimmy G back to offseason?

Speaker 1 No, No, I think he goes to San Francisco. Andy Dalton is the king of everything right, and everything kind of is almost right.

Speaker 1 They would probably need some weapons, but everything else would be right for them. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Well, extending with that girlfriend analogy, just real quick, if you're Bill Belichick and you want to go like fool around with a wild girl, you know, like a little something strange after being locked in this relationship for so long and everything's getting stale, which quarterback out there fits that Bill?

Speaker 1 Because there's one. I mean, it's Jameis.
It's Jameis. It's Jameis.
It's Jameis Williams. Jameis is the most opposite of Tom Brady.
Yes, but Bill doesn't do that.

Speaker 1 Bill's not, he doesn't, he doesn't want a wild. Jameis got Lacey, by the way.
Yes, he did. He got Lasick.
He got Lasick. His eyes are clear.
He'll see linebackers now.

Speaker 1 He can see through that Foxborough smog. It's going to be great.
Jameis is going to be awesome next year. Listen, if he wants, if Bill Belichick wants to prove

Speaker 1 without a doubt that he is the best coach of the Super Bowl era, the only way that he can put everything to be done is. I think Andy Dalton does that too.
No, I think

Speaker 1 Jameis Winston makes him by far the best head coach in the history of Florida. I think if he won a Super Bowl with Andy Dalton, it would be pretty, pretty convincing.
If he can fix bad girl Jameis,

Speaker 1 oh, fuck, you should trade for Mitch Trubisky.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it really should.

Speaker 1 Or just keep Tommy one two more.

Speaker 1 Which is probably what's going to happen. Yep.
Yeah. All right, let's get to hot seat, cool thrown before we get to Miles Teller.

Speaker 4 Falls here, kids are back in school, vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 4 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 4 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 4 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com/slash audio.

Speaker 1 Code audio at checkout. Hank, your hot seat cool throw.
My hot seat are the Mets minor leaguers, single A, St. Lucie Mets,

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 spring training Mets facility. They got a $57 million renovation.
It's like an unbelievable clubhouse, state-of-the-art, all this stuff.

Speaker 1 And it's in the same town as their single A team, but they're not going to let the single A team

Speaker 1 use the locker room so that they have something to strive for going forward in their career.

Speaker 1 So they're just going to, after they're going to use it for the spring, and then it's just going to be open, and there's gonna be a team training there, but they can't use the state-of-the-art laws.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a classic rich-friend parent move.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys had this growing up, but I had a couple of friends where their parents had a room in their house that was really nice, had a bunch of sweet furniture in it, but you just don't go in that room.

Speaker 1 Like nobody's allowed in the room. That's just our room that's really nicely decorated with cool couches and like decorative pillows everywhere, but you do not step fucking foot in that room, buddy.

Speaker 1 You would think though that like getting paid minimum wage

Speaker 1 than minimum wage. Ride on buses all the time, stay in like shitty, shitty motels, share hotel rooms.
You'd think that would probably be enough to keep them hungry, but no, this is probably good.

Speaker 1 And it might distract

Speaker 1 the nice process. Prospects, things of that nature.
If it's like, oh, if you play for us, you know, you can use this state-of-the-art facility that's literally just sitting there otherwise.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking of a guy who gets paid like $500 a month and has to ride a bus and sleep in a motel six with like three roommates and share a bed and jerk each other.

Speaker 1 And then he walks by the nice facility every single day. Like, well, thank God they're making me stay hungry.
One day I'm going to be in that room sitting there. Damn.
I can't wait. Got it.
All right.

Speaker 1 What's your cool throne? My cool throne is our darling Jake. Yes.
Yeah. I actually had that on my cool throne as well.
Jake Marsh, our sweet prince, our beautiful son,

Speaker 1 making it to the big time. Yep.
No longer the Vermont radio announcer. He is doing the game tonight, Wednesday night, on ESPN Plus.
I'm so excited to see

Speaker 1 making it to the show. I cannot wait to listen to Jake go off.
I'm sure he's not. I've never looked forward to a college basketball game in a long time.
Oh, you're not a true Catamount fan?

Speaker 1 No, just college basketball in general. Mount up.
I haven't got this hyped up in a while.

Speaker 1 Mount up, cats, because

Speaker 1 this is going to be a big one.

Speaker 1 No time outside Hartford. One second left.
He stepped out of bounds. He stepped out of bounds.
1.4 seconds left.

Speaker 1 One of the greatest calls. That's like up there with Do You Believe in Miracles? Well, he had it.

Speaker 1 Stole the ball. He stepped out of bounds.
He stuck out of bounds. I think that, honestly, like the people at ESPN Plus or whoever's making the decision saw that.

Speaker 1 We're like, we got to get this guy in the call. Well, they heard that.
They heard the tic-tac-toe. Oh, that's another one of a signature.
You know what's going to be funny?

Speaker 1 Let's everybody do Jake a favor. He contributed a lot to part of my takeover.
He still does. He still does, even though he's working like two full-time jobs.
Jake is a great kid.

Speaker 1 He's got a bright future. Everyone listen to his call.
Watch. Watch.
Watch it. On ESPN Plus.
Watch. Yes.
Have it on. Going for 10 straight wins.
Have it on.

Speaker 1 I want ESPN Plus' numbers to just skyrocket for the Catamount Games tonight. Okay, that's

Speaker 1 helped out a competitor. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 For Jake, for Jake. And then deactivate your account right after that.
Yeah, cancel it. Cancel your credit card.
Throw your credit card in the ocean.

Speaker 1 That'll do it. Do that.
That's a Jake bump coming at you tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because then

Speaker 1 he'll get another gig, hopefully. I mean, Jake's a star.
He's going to be fucking Al Michaels, and we're going to be like, remember that guy? He got us our coffee?

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, what's your hot seat? Cool throwing? My hot seat is the rest of the world's intelligence agencies. Okay.
Everywhere in the world's CIAs and spies. Number one, Homeland's back.

Speaker 1 Watched that last night. Pretty smart.
Yeah, Homeland's back. They did a really shitty job of telling you that it's back, but it is.
I thought that show ended years ago.

Speaker 1 No, Carrie's still freaking out. She's showing off her neck tendons, breathing hard, crying.
Nice. The best move that show ever did, by the way, was when Carrie had a baby, like season two.

Speaker 1 And they're like, this baby is making the show awful. And they just gave the baby away.
And they're like, we're going to pretend she doesn't have a kid anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 in addition to that, there was a story today in the Washington Post that...

Speaker 1 every intelligence company or most intelligence agencies in the world have been buying encryption machines to make their own codes.

Speaker 1 And the company that's been selling them these encryption machines has been a front for the CIA. So we've been alfieing the entire world

Speaker 1 by giving them these machines to make their own codes that we have access to so we know all their codes. Nice.
That's like a big out. That's like Houston Astros,

Speaker 1 they would murder an entire roster, an entire minor league roster, to achieve that level of spying. But China has TikTok.
China has, and they also have Pokemon Ghost. They have the inside of

Speaker 1 it. High-level chess game going.

Speaker 1 So now we can spy on the Chinese looking into our own homes. Right.
So you tell me who's the elf in that situation.

Speaker 1 The other hot seat is our innocence, our collective innocence, because Papa John was lying to us. What do you mean? You remember when he said that he ate 40 pizzas in a month? I remember.

Speaker 1 He said today he was lying about that. What? He ordered.
He claims he ordered 40 pizzas in a month so that he could inspect them to see the quality of Papa John's pizza.

Speaker 1 He says that he wasn't actually eating them. He made that part up.
He exaggerated that part.

Speaker 1 Judging by the quality of his skin, I think that he probably was eating at least 25 of those pizzas. Very old.
And grease that was just dripping down his face.

Speaker 1 So wait, if he lied about that, what can we believe? I don't know. We can't really believe anything.
Do we even believe that he said racial slurs on a conference call? We don't know. We don't know.

Speaker 1 Were you there?

Speaker 1 I'm not. I'm still waiting for all the facts to come out.
But he says that he, yeah, he just ordered them so he can inspect them. Okay.
Saying like, I only quality control.

Speaker 1 I only smelled this bag of cocaine to see if it had gone bad. Right, right.
It makes sense. It didn't.
Yeah. But you still good.

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne is Taysom Hill. So Taysom Hill's got his name in the news saying that he wants to be a starting quarterback.
Shout out Mike Florio. Franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 Mike Florio thinks that he's one of the best quarterbacks in the entire NFL. Florio, we need to have a word with Florio.
He's got the hot takes. Offseason Florio has hit a little harder

Speaker 1 than usual. He's going crazy with him.
He's in the zone. He is in the zone.
He's doing heat checks right now. So he thinks Taysom could be a franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 Most people, I think, disagree.

Speaker 1 I would say all. He's thrown all.
He's thrown all 12 passes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also the just basic logic of if he was a franchise quarterback and Drew Brees got hurt, why didn't they have Taysom Hill play quarterback instead of Teddy Bridgewater?

Speaker 1 Right, that's a good point. Taysom Hill is.
Like Sean Payton, if Sean Payton thought Taysom Hill was better than Teddy Bridgewater, he would have had Taysom Hill play quarterback. Probably, yes.

Speaker 1 Right. But, yeah.
So Taysom Hill is like, he's like bacon, right? Bacon makes some dishes better, you would say. But were we in like 2010 internet? No, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Then when you get to the 2010 internet guy who's like, epic bacon wins, I'm going to make bacon flavored ice cream and bacon toothpaste because bacon's the best. Right.

Speaker 1 And you put bacon in everything. You're like, no, actually, bacon kind of sucks.
Yeah. That's good with eggs, and that's about it.
Right. Taysom Hill is the bacon of the NFL.
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 I like that analogy. All right.
My hot seat is society in general because Pam Anderson

Speaker 1 is in debt. And that means we failed her.
Pam Anderson should not be in debt at all, ever. I agree.
So everyone go out there and rent a copy of barbed wire. She,

Speaker 1 I guess she married some old dude for like 12 days and the old dude paid off like $200,000 worth of her debt and then they got divorced.

Speaker 1 Great move, but I think there's probably more debt and we as a society should come together. Fuck the GoFundMe for like the person who gets bullied on the side of the, you know, in a school bus.

Speaker 1 Pam Anderson has done great things for society, has done great things for anyone who's, you know, between the ages of 30 and 45. We need to get together and help her out.
I agree with that.

Speaker 1 And you can with her new website, Jasmine, where you can do private one-on-one chats with with Pam Anderson. Oh, yeah.
How much are they? I don't know. Find out.
I'm gonna log on right now.

Speaker 1 You find out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But you're right.
Like she has contributed so much. And I'm not just saying like personal enjoyment.
No, just everything else.

Speaker 1 But the Pam Anderson and Tommy tape that came out in what year was that? Like 94, 95? Sure.

Speaker 1 The fact that everyone was so horny and trying to access it all over the internet actually made the internet faster. Right.
We came up with technological advances to try to acquire like a higher,

Speaker 1 higher, what is it, what's the word I'm looking for? Like higher quality versions. Bandwidth.
Higher bandwidth versions of this sex tape. It actually improved the world's technology.

Speaker 1 I've said it before, all innovation starts with porn. It does.

Speaker 1 All innovation in the world starts with porn. With Mark Cuban.
Yeah, you agree with it. All starts with porn.
All right, my cool throne is Duke.

Speaker 1 It's Duke's year. I'm officially ready to say it.
Like, it is Duke's year.

Speaker 1 I know that I joked about it last year, Hank, but I'm telling you, man-to-man right now, I trust only Duke to win the national championship this year. Will you be making a bet?

Speaker 1 We can save this for March Madness, but I do think it is Duke's year. They win games.
You're right. They probably think fashion.
Since we're both of that thinking, we should make a bet together. Okay.

Speaker 1 Great. Against PFT.
We're on Duke, and PFT can be on the opposite side. Coach OK said it's

Speaker 1 our year. Big game.

Speaker 1 I'm rolling. Last year, you were joking.

Speaker 1 You just said that you were serious.

Speaker 1 It really is. It's Duke's year.
All right. You see how how.
There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do.
Me and you will be making a bet against PFT. Well, we should get bubbles.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be two-on-one here.

Speaker 1 I only have so many holes. Duke is definitely going to win.
They're definitely going to win it all. So what should the stakes of this bet be? Stinks.
We can make it in March Madness, but this stinks.

Speaker 1 It just sucks. They're going to win it all.
It's a crazy year, though. It is a crazy year in college basketball.
You never know what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 That fucking Matt Hurt guy, what is that his name? Stud. Just elbowing everyone.
I know he didn't hit the player, but he tried. That should have been a flagrant in its own.

Speaker 1 His face shouldn't have been there. I mean, no, he actually didn't hit anyone, so, like, it wasn't a flagrant, but it should have been because the intent.

Speaker 1 If you try to kill someone, you still go to jail for attempted murder. He tried.
Is that fair, though? He tried to take Virginia or the Florida State player's head off. For punishing incompetence.

Speaker 1 So that should have been a flagrant, too.

Speaker 1 And someone actually...

Speaker 1 aptly pointed out on Twitter, we should take away his birthday and Coach K's birthday, which is tomorrow. Shout out to Coach K.
Coach Kay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 he definitely told the refs that too he's like it's birthday week dude can you make sure you get us a couple calls he shares birthday week with uh rg3 who unironically used

Speaker 1 birthday week uh because greta took him on a whirlwind vacation down to mexico for his birthday week nice birthday week

Speaker 1 um all right let's get to our interview with miles teller before we do that

Speaker 6 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 6 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed: roasted peanuts, nuggets, caramel, milk chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 6 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 6 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Miles Teller.

Speaker 1 And we now welcome on very very special guest. It is Hollywood actor Miles Teller.
He's in the new movie, Top Gun Maverick, coming out this summer. Very excited for this movie.

Speaker 1 I think everyone's excited for this movie. Perfect summer movie.
How many Gs did you have to take while filming it?

Speaker 5 I think seven and a half is the max performance of the aircraft. So if we went above that,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 5 Can't say, but

Speaker 1 seven and a half, the max. How many times did you, like, how many hours were you up the uh in one of these fighter jets?

Speaker 5 So we had about three months of

Speaker 5 flight training before the movie started. Um, Tom kind of laid out a system for us.

Speaker 5 So we started out in the Cessna, and then we started doing aerobatics training in the X-300, and then we went to the L-39, and then in the F-18.

Speaker 5 But yeah, it was a good amount.

Speaker 5 I could get my pilot's license if I wanted to, probably in like two weeks.

Speaker 5 One of the guys, Glenn, actually, he's almost done. He takes his test on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 So Tom actually set up the entire training schedule for you guys?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 it was pretty regimented because when they did the first one, Tom was the only guy who

Speaker 5 could handle being up there. Most of the other guys, they kind of went up once and they got sick and the footage was unusable.
So Tom,

Speaker 5 knowing that we were going to make this second one, he said, I want it to all be practical.

Speaker 5 And yeah, there's no green screen, man. I mean, we're up in the F-18.
We strap in with a Top Gun pilot and we just, you know, we rip.

Speaker 1 yeah i think it's pretty i didn't puke um you can say if you did it's not a big deal yeah no i know

Speaker 1 you're gonna be tough around us yeah okay all right so you had to be tough did you guys yeah did you puke uh

Speaker 1 no okay all right all right i believe you now i believe you now it's not it's not a bad thing it's fine yeah so

Speaker 5 honestly though like half the um you know half the uh there's like six kind of the next the new gen of pilots and 50 of them were puking even up until the last day i think it's just something that you either have a tolerance for it or you don't.

Speaker 1 Right. Did you brown out or red out or blackout?

Speaker 5 You know what's funny? Like my wife's from California and she was the first person who introduced the phrase brown out to me. She's like, oh, I'm browning out.
And I go, that sounds so silly.

Speaker 5 It's like

Speaker 5 you either blackout or you don't. She's like, no, brown out.
You know, you can get crossfaded. I'm like, now, what the hell are you talking about?

Speaker 1 CrossFade, what's that?

Speaker 5 CrossFade. She's like, you know, if you're stoned and you're drunk, it's CrossFade.
I'm like, we just called it.

Speaker 1 I like that

Speaker 5 whatever like you got a left hand a right hand yeah

Speaker 1 yeah yeah but that's people stopped saying that like three years ago you can still say he's wearing an xfl hat bro he knew that

Speaker 1 30s lit is actually the word you should be using okay i am lit right now no you can't say i believe it yeah we're cross-faded we're definitely cross-faded uh speaking of tom cruise i gotta ask you a question i don't did you see the movie valkyrie um no okay so did you see the picture of his ass from valkyrie no so you didn't see that he was wearing yeah but this this this kind of maybe I was just doing it.

Speaker 1 You know, it went viral in deep search. It went viral, and this is like, this is his bud from Valkyrie.
Do you think, is that a prosthetic?

Speaker 5 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let me see.
That's thick with like seven C's. Wow.

Speaker 5 That's thick.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 I'm going to say that's his real ass because Tom doesn't cheat. He doesn't cut corners.
Right.

Speaker 1 Well, except for when he hires like all the actors to be shorter than him.

Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Right, right. But other than that, you're right.

Speaker 5 Is this a thing?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's an actual still frame from the movie Valkyrie.

Speaker 5 But I'm saying, is this like a

Speaker 5 red or something? It's a

Speaker 1 lot of people talk about it. That's just a lot of kids from Arla's memory on the trip.

Speaker 5 The audience knows. You guys know HID Prox card.

Speaker 1 I got my

Speaker 1 ACLU card in there. Y'all try to arrest me.

Speaker 5 You got a Chick-fil-A card, a CLA.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a sports card. Yeah.
A dog. Yeah.
Do you want that guy over there?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Oh.

Speaker 1 He read the name and was not happy.

Speaker 5 ACLU member, what's that?

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. That's because I get arrested a lot, so it's good to have that.
No, he's the right attorney or something. Yeah, no, you're right.
Yeah, no, you're right.

Speaker 5 You can't be arrested without anything. A subway card.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Need that to get to work.
Fair. Just grinding.

Speaker 5 Bank of America card. You got a lot of those.
VIP access. You know, you can throw away hotel keys.
We don't have to go to the house.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's for the cocaine.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's also just like,

Speaker 1 yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 5 You're just getting a bunch of businesses. He's got everything.
Yeah, it's a Super Bowl, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to let you card back

Speaker 1 too much. You can hand it back to him.
You want the chicken card? I am. Chick-fil-A? Yeah.
Okay. I know what it is.

Speaker 1 All right, so you're a big Eagles fan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you think Carson Wentz is good?

Speaker 5 Yeah, man. Carson's great.

Speaker 1 That's a real question. Carson's great.

Speaker 5 No, it's not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. No, it's not.

Speaker 5 No, it's not. I don't think anybody.
Now, the question is, like, will he learn to maybe protect himself a little more to stay on the field? But you can't look at the numbers that the guy put up.

Speaker 5 You know, obviously the MVP caliber season before he got hurt.

Speaker 5 And this year, throwing, you know, with basically practice squad guys, for him to throw for that many yards and not have a single wide receiver over 500 yards, you know, he

Speaker 5 put the team on his back, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 No, you're a real Eagles fan because I asked that specific question because real Eagles fans then go on like their list of reasons why Carson's.

Speaker 5 You know, because that's Eagle, I mean, that's a lot of the sports talk, you know what I mean? And that's

Speaker 5 Philly to a certain extent. It's just like, but he can't do that.
He's not this or that. But

Speaker 5 he's a real deal. Okay.
Alternate.

Speaker 5 What are you guys' teams? What are you guys?

Speaker 1 Bears and Redskins. Double doink.
Oh, no. The double doink.

Speaker 1 They do that.

Speaker 1 Double doink. It was very sensitive about that.

Speaker 1 It actually was. I actually am the only person who knew who I will not allow people to say it was Tim.
Cody Park, he can't make it. What are we paying? He sucks every day.
Oh, that game.

Speaker 1 Goddamn fucking kicks.

Speaker 1 There's actually a best. There's a clip of from this show the Friday before, and I was like, something bad's going to happen.
He's going to hit a post or something, and then it happens.

Speaker 1 So I knew it was coming.

Speaker 5 And you guys, yeah, you guys got him from us.

Speaker 1 Whatever. Whatever.
What are your thoughts about Mitch? Whatever, dude. Do you like Mitch? Huh? Do you like Mitch Basin?

Speaker 1 I want to hear his thoughts.

Speaker 5 Do I like Mitch?

Speaker 1 He's a good person. More than a friend.

Speaker 5 More than a friend. I think, you know,

Speaker 5 certain guys, like, once they get in the right

Speaker 1 system, I mean,

Speaker 5 I looked at Jared Goff, his first year playing, I was like, man, I don't see it.

Speaker 1 And then he actually got time in the pocket. Oh, I know Jared, too.
I'm saying, whoa,

Speaker 1 your name dropping. No, I know.
No, your friend dropping.

Speaker 5 I want you to back up. I'm just saying.
Okay. I'm just saying.
You love him.

Speaker 1 Same.

Speaker 5 Same.

Speaker 5 Once he got time in the pocket, you know? Yeah. So with Chubiski, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't know, man.

Speaker 5 If you're asking me, would I rather have Wentz or Chubiski? I think Wentz's skill set is a little better.

Speaker 1 That was the perfect Mitch Chubiski answer ever. Like, just say a lot of words.

Speaker 1 How do you feel about it?

Speaker 1 Basically what you said. Say a lot of words and then be like, I don't know.

Speaker 5 Now, Jordan Howard, obviously, he got hurt a little little bit. He was running the ball great for us.
I was surprised we got him from that guy.

Speaker 5 He was such a low pick when he's like third league and touchdowns since he came to league.

Speaker 1 And Al Sean, I loved Al Sean.

Speaker 5 Al Sean did, whatever. He won the Super Bowl.
He had a torn

Speaker 5 rotator cover.

Speaker 1 He's always injured.

Speaker 1 He's a war down the field this year. So Carson Wentz, yes.
Oh, yeah. Better than Dak.
Yeah, dude. Huh? Is he better than Dak?

Speaker 5 Absolutely fucking lootly.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
Not a hesitation there.

Speaker 5 Now, you can't ask, I don't, anybody on the Cowboys or the Giants or the Skins.

Speaker 5 So I was saying, like, fantasy football to me, it's kind of like, I hate the fact that guys now we get at bars, we're talking about individual players.

Speaker 5 It's like, no, like, where's the fandom for the team? Like, I'm an Eagles fan, you're a Cowboys fan. We don't have anything to talk about.
Right. You know, it's like that type of thing.
I hate this.

Speaker 5 Like, people just get into this. Oh, I got this player and this player and this player.
It's like, uh, people talking about fantasy football like a bar just makes me sick.

Speaker 1 Wait, so has it changed? Because I saw, I think you were on ESPN. It was like owns multiple fantasy teams.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think you said something about that.

Speaker 1 I might have.

Speaker 5 I was like, who is this?

Speaker 1 No, I might have. Yeah, yeah.
I was like, who's this dude?

Speaker 5 He's like, nobody cares, Miles. You got four fantasy teams.
I'm like, I didn't ask myself the question.

Speaker 1 Yep, that does sound like me. So do you still have a fan? Nobody's thinking that's like, oh, it's just him.

Speaker 5 I'm like,

Speaker 1 do you still have four fantasy teams?

Speaker 5 I'm in two. I'm in, yeah, I think I'm probably in five, man.
I don't want to be. The one that I honestly care about the most is the one I've been in for 10 years with my high school buddies.

Speaker 5 That's the one that really means something. But Matthew Berry invited me to a league, and then a couple of these other guys are in a league, and one was for charity.
Absolutely.

Speaker 5 you know, that was great.

Speaker 1 Who's on your team?

Speaker 5 Honestly, man, I wipe.

Speaker 5 Hit the men in black.

Speaker 1 Reset. Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 5 I mean, I know I, yeah, I had Kittle because I always try and figure out Kittle.

Speaker 1 No one cares. Sorry, Ryan.
Yeah, you gotta go.

Speaker 1 I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear.

Speaker 1 Kittle's awesome.

Speaker 5 Tight ends, like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I wait for a QB. I was running back.

Speaker 1 I was running back heavy.

Speaker 5 And, yeah, Kittle. I try and get a good tight end because I think quarterback or tight ends are like flavor of the week.
You're like, oh, O.J. Howard or something.
This guy's hot.

Speaker 5 You grab him, he does nothing. So I think if you can get a couple of those top, you know, few guys, then that's something I try and stick by.

Speaker 1 As a Philly guy, will you disavow Gritty for assaulting that child?

Speaker 5 I got to see the paper. I got to see the file.

Speaker 1 Facts. Great facts to come out.

Speaker 5 Innocent until proven guilty. I mean, Gritty does look, yeah, somebody said he looked like

Speaker 5 a child's drawing of what a serial killer looks like or something.

Speaker 1 That is the ultimate Philly conference.

Speaker 5 He's nuts. A mascot assaulted.
Philly Fanatic. I don't know if you guys have done this debate on the show, but is hands down the best mascot in sports.

Speaker 1 I love him. And there's really no, there's really no.

Speaker 5 Who's the second?

Speaker 1 He's up there. I like Philly.

Speaker 1 Who's your top five? I like

Speaker 1 in Indianapolis, the one that does the gyrations when they make a field goal.

Speaker 5 That guy's a perfect.

Speaker 1 Casey Wolf. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's my problem with Philly Fanatic. Timeless Sorter beat the shit out of him.
Haven't looked at him in the same sense. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I remember going to Games of of the vet yeah the fanatic always on the uh on the four-wheeler he's just he's he's the best he is i met him out of his out of his suit in uh in clearwater at spring training and uh oh i was like i actually don't want to know that but even the guy in his own life he's like very animated and pretty old or a little older now yes respect uh yeah

Speaker 1 he also

Speaker 1 lying to you he that's a perfect lie to tell somebody it's like hey i'm the philly fanatic you can't prove that he's not the philly fanatic no you know yeah you know you can see it in his eyes you're like that guy's been in a costume for way too long Yeah, yeah, you can, you can tell.

Speaker 1 Very friendly.

Speaker 1 I have to ask you this. So the Esquire thing in 2015, are you a dick? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have a quiz for you to find out perfectly.

Speaker 1 Pigment.

Speaker 5 Okay, perfect.

Speaker 1 Pig Pen, Brent, Vince, or Keith Godshaw? Who's your favorite keyboarders for the Grateful Dead?

Speaker 1 I mean, well, yeah, Pigpen, just because he was a, I mean, he's such a, he was the blues.

Speaker 5 Okay. You know what I mean? And he drank himself to death.
He wasn't as much into the, you know, know, once they were getting into the drugs.

Speaker 5 I just, you're always going to have love for pig pen. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so you're not a dick. If you had answered Keith Godshaw, I would have been like, come on, dude.
Yeah. Are you serious?

Speaker 5 Are you a deadhead?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I am. So, and I'd be like, you're like company with Mary?

Speaker 1 I have actually not seen them yet.

Speaker 5 Oh, you got to see. I know.
I know. And I mean, the,

Speaker 5 you know, Deadhead, they've really rallied behind John Man because he adds an energy on the guitar that, you know, when I had seen Further a couple times, they were kind of lacking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a weird time.

Speaker 5 He does a great althea.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, do you go still see them? I was going to road.

Speaker 5 I was going to see him at the forum. I didn't see him, but pretty much, yeah, every year I'll see him.
I was going to go on the playing in the sand. I'm just telling you things I didn't do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But I was

Speaker 1 going to. That actually is a podcast idea.
Things we didn't do.

Speaker 1 I didn't play in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say the exact same thing. Like, I could have been a professional athlete, but I just didn't want to.

Speaker 5 Well, I'm not saying could have been. I was saying I was, I was, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I haven't won on a Gobert yet. Yeah.
I'm going to.

Speaker 5 Hey, don't give up, man. People win Oscars

Speaker 1 popping out of the blue, huh? Do you have an Oscar? Yeah, I have three. No, I don't.
No, no. Oh, you don't? No.
Oh, so then you're part of our podcast. Huh? You're part of our non-Oscar podcast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're basically just as good at acting.

Speaker 5 Where did you get the XFL happen?

Speaker 1 From the XFL. I tried out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I tried out a lot. Get out of here.
Yeah, players.

Speaker 5 Do they still do the, like, for the, instead of the kickoff, don't they just throw the ball out there and two dudes like, no, that was the older one?

Speaker 1 And they stopped that because the very first time they did that, somebody tore their ACL. Yeah, yeah.
So it wasn't the greatest rule change in the history of sports.

Speaker 1 But yeah, they do weird kickoff rules, and now they're no.

Speaker 1 What was your tryout? I was a kicker.

Speaker 1 So I went four for six. Yep.
I was perfect from 36 yards.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got a kick for the Bears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could. You know what?

Speaker 1 Here's my thing.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing. I actually have decided, Esquire, fuck you, because Miles Teller's not a dick.
He's just Philly. Like, I know Philly guys.
You're Philly. That's our dude.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but also you got to realize man like that is the nature you know it's like you you know splashing a little shit talk you know it's uh it's not it's just it's the nature of and here's the other thing man like if somebody told you something about somebody but you hadn't met that person are you the type of person just be like oh yeah you know right i know nothing about this girl interviewing but you know she's i'm gonna trust her opinion right are you mad at

Speaker 1 the bank are you are you mad at esquire for like that whole article was that a weird thing to have happen where i was like fuck this guy no i guess just like you know, in, you know, you know, full disclosure,

Speaker 5 yeah, you know, it's like my, like, I work very, I've worked very hard in this business to get a certain, you know, reputation. That reputation is somebody who like works really hard.

Speaker 5 You know, he's very professional, all that stuff.

Speaker 5 And it's just annoying how like somebody can come up and, you know, say a little something and it, you know, for people that don't know you, yeah, it kind of soils your name a little bit.

Speaker 5 I think reputation is very important.

Speaker 5 But, you know, it's all good. That's, I mean, I think she did her job well because I think more people clicked on her little profile picture.

Speaker 1 And Miles Teller

Speaker 1 moves more papers than saying, Miles Teller, he's an okay guy.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Deadhead.

Speaker 1 Fantasy football. Fantasy football.

Speaker 5 Expert. What's like an appropriate amount of team? Like, if they popped up on there and they're like, Miles is in two fantasy football leagues.

Speaker 1 Is that still getting out?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I probably would have chirped you.

Speaker 5 Shit on that a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if it just said Miles Teller might know what fantasy football is, I've been like, I'll let that one pass.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 Little Birdie told me that you're a fan of the Booz and Burger show that we do with Lincoln. Well, I was a fan.

Speaker 5 I do like the setup.

Speaker 1 I like his voice.

Speaker 5 I just like the way he gets into it. He's very like.

Speaker 1 He's passionate. It's erotic.
But also, he

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 5 But also in the one show,

Speaker 5 he got a long drink. Now, Long Drink is this company that I became like co-owner of in Finland.
It's the biggest drink in Finland. It's a mixture of gin and grapefruit.

Speaker 5 They're bringing it to the States for the first time.

Speaker 5 It's a canned beverage. It's delicious.
And he tried it and he gave it his whatever. How many balls? You know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was a good amount of balls. It was? Nice.

Speaker 1 How many?

Speaker 1 Solid number of balls. Beautiful.

Speaker 1 How many balls would you give Top Gun two?

Speaker 1 Five. Five.
Five balls. So you do know the system.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, good.
That was a good test. If you hadn't said six, we're like, you're a frog.

Speaker 5 No, you won't. Now I go to five.
As soon as I left, you went to your line.

Speaker 1 What do you score? Yeah. Six out of five.
That's not possible. Yeah, it is.
I mean, the ball system, like, you know,

Speaker 1 sliced bread, the car, the wheel, fire, the ball system. That's kind of like the greatest inventions in the world.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 right. I'd put that on there as well.
Because it never goes to the 1000. 0 to 10.
You're right. Yeah, 1 to 10.

Speaker 1 The key. No one plays under radar anymore.

Speaker 5 Give me a sick, like, drum space xylophone.

Speaker 5 Have a dude just rolling on the xylophones.

Speaker 1 You don't take a pistol? I'm going to see you there.

Speaker 5 You know, it depends. I saw, I mean, I used to, but I saw Dead and Company,

Speaker 5 you know, Hart. He's doing some real, like, Crossman, they're doing some really interesting stuff with like the synthesizer and stuff now.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Synth drum sounds. So I, yeah, I stayed.

Speaker 1 You stayed? Oh, yeah. Wow.
Yeah. Bigger man than me.
It's like this break. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I know. It was, I saw him at the Hollywood Bowl, which is a great venue.

Speaker 5 If you've never been there, that's solid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Do you do you watch your own movies?

Speaker 5 I watch them once

Speaker 5 with just like a small group, like my publicist,

Speaker 5 my agent,

Speaker 1 Kelly, my wife.

Speaker 5 And yeah, it's pretty uncomfortable. Like, even the first time you saw Whiplash, I was just like, I don't know, you know, it's so, you work on something for so long.

Speaker 5 Well, Whiplash was like 19 days, but you work on something for so long, you know, it's months and months, and you have all these, you know, it's like an experience making you think, oh, shit.

Speaker 5 And then it's cut down to a two-hour movie. You're just like, that's what I look at.
I hate listening to my voice, all this stuff.

Speaker 5 And then I'll watch it at the premiere just kind of as a, you know, I think that's just being kind of professional, uh, and then yeah, that's it.

Speaker 5 Every once in a while, I'll be sitting there with a good bus, and I'll be like, oh, what my moves on, like, I'm gonna watch this shit, and now it's like, turn this off. Oh, my God,

Speaker 1 that's not a problem. You'll probably be uncomfortable watching this.
You listen to my own podcast, you watch your stuff back. No, no, I can't.
Yeah, see,

Speaker 5 it's like reading, like,

Speaker 5 you know, like your mentions, stuff like that. It's just like, you don't read it.

Speaker 1 Do you watch something?

Speaker 5 No, I mean, sometimes, you know, sometimes,

Speaker 5 but for the most part, like, I'm on Instagram, you know, Twitter or something. I feel like I can write some stuff and then kind of get off it.
But it's just so,

Speaker 5 everyone's just pretty.

Speaker 1 So you don't search your name.

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 5 Like, what, Google or something?

Speaker 1 No, like name search on Twitter. See what the people are saying.

Speaker 1 Not really.

Speaker 5 I guess maybe if I'm seeing,

Speaker 1 yeah, if something's like bad. You want us to do a few

Speaker 1 on it right now? We can search for you.

Speaker 5 Nice. I mean, you know, however you guys want to spend this time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is the perfect way to spend this time. This is great, great podcasting.
Nice. Do you have a podcast? No.
Do you want to get a podcast? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no. Who's the big sponsors here? Amsterdam Vodka? Yeah.
Do you guys shout them out before, like Rogan?

Speaker 1 Honestly, Miles Teller fucking sucks. How do I know this?

Speaker 1 He's exactly to the T the type of guy I'd fall for. Oh, that took a turn.
Oh, wow. Damn.
Wow. I thought I got you there.
Fuck. Wow.
Shit. All right.
So that woman likes you a lot.

Speaker 5 Do I have to lean forward in this thing?

Speaker 1 Yo, Miles Teller fucking sucks. L-M-A-O.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you did to that guy. So yeah, you should check this just to stay humble.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you saw me talking about your fantasy team, so you at least saw that, right?

Speaker 5 I mean, do you want to know just like what a bunch of kind of random people are thinking about you?

Speaker 1 Well, the good one. I mean, I like.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I think it's a slippery slip.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I try to. This one is Yaconeste Miles Teller, aceque la Pelicua Valga La Pena.

Speaker 5 So you'll put that up in a translation when you're talking about it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it means I think what they're saying.

Speaker 5 La Pena is la means big.

Speaker 1 It's actually

Speaker 1 just means Miles Teller is a dick and he has too many fantasy teams. That's the direct translation.

Speaker 5 I mean, I'll take a word for it. Out of college,

Speaker 5 I dropped AP Calculus, went to French one.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes. That's kind of a humble brother.
That was an AP Calculus, though. That's a browser.

Speaker 5 That's an AP Calculus, though.

Speaker 1 I like that. Here's a good one.
This is from Husky Dave Grohl. He said, just peed next to Miles Teller.
Do you remember that?

Speaker 5 There was a guy kind of staring.

Speaker 1 Looking like Dave Grohl.

Speaker 1 That was from earlier today.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay.

Speaker 5 That's why you don't. That's why you guys.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's why you guys stay off. It is a scary world.
The internet is a scary place.

Speaker 1 It is. He got 40 likes on that.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Man, that's the best way to chase cloud is just piss next to him.

Speaker 5 That's nice. He's got the most followers out of the different personalities here.
And you guys like, are you guys like, oh, I got more followers than you, man?

Speaker 1 No, not really.

Speaker 1 Because I have the most, so I don't have to. He doesn't have to write.

Speaker 5 I also watch, was it Riggs? I watched the golf. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a nice.

Speaker 5 I like that. That's a comic setup, man.

Speaker 1 Not as good as the ball system, but it's good.

Speaker 1 Maybe if we can get Riggs to start rating golf courses on the ball scale, now we got Miles Tellers.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but then it's going to get to a point where you don't need one of them. Right.
So that they want, you know, you got to stay in your lane a little bit.

Speaker 1 Right. All right.
I got a real question for you. No, you don't.
How the hell. No, I do.
How the hell do you decide what movies you want to do?

Speaker 5 I mean, it depends. Top Gun I had to audition for, but that was something that

Speaker 5 it's the director who I worked with on this film, Only the Brave, which is about the wildland firefighters in Prescott, Arizona, a couple years ago, passed away 19 out of the 20.

Speaker 5 So, you know, but for the most part, it kind of goes in ways, man. Like, I was working a lot, and I was like, oh, I'll take some time off.

Speaker 5 Took a year off, and then, you know, I thought certain scripts were going to be there. They weren't.
If I'm fortunate, which is what

Speaker 5 I've been lucky to do, the script that I've read, like Bleed for This or Thank You for Your Service, you know, Only the Brave, Spectacular,

Speaker 5 Whiplash, those were films that I read and loved, and the director wanted to work with me.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 But yeah, sometimes you gotta,

Speaker 5 you know, I don't know. I always, for me, I guess it's like, how good is this script? What's the potential of the project?

Speaker 5 Because there's certain movies where I'm like, even if we did the best version of this, it's, you know, it's like a seven. So you want to, you at least want to give yourself a chance to win.

Speaker 5 Now, whether or not that movie,

Speaker 5 you can be in a great movie, but nobody sees it. So then it's like,

Speaker 5 is that looked at as a failure? Even though the movie, you know, you made a great movie, but people just didn't happen to see it.

Speaker 1 Exactly, right.

Speaker 5 They don't want to see soldiers dealing with PTSD. They didn't want to see a movie with Wildland Firefighters or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 5 it's interesting, man. Then it'll get to a certain point, you know, where you,

Speaker 5 you know, you also, it's your livelihood. So it's one of the few professions

Speaker 5 where, you know, you can absolutely be a sellout. You can lose a lot of your audience by making the most money at your skill set.
Mm-hmm, you know, so that's a balance, too.

Speaker 5 That's a game you got to play.

Speaker 1 That's an interesting way to put it because you're basically saying if you want to maximize your money, take care of your family, people could look at it and be like, fuck this guy.

Speaker 5 That's yeah, I mean, that's the thing. People say, oh, we did this or this.

Speaker 5 And it's like, now, granted, I've never really done something purely for, you know, a paycheck.

Speaker 1 I haven't even really got to that point.

Speaker 5 People are just throwing tons of money at me to do something stupid.

Speaker 5 But, yeah, I mean, I look at it, I'm like, man, the money, like whenever I've made money on stuff, yeah, exactly, like what it's done for me to be able to help out, you know, my family and stuff like that.

Speaker 5 And my buddies obviously want me to get to the point like Clooney, where he gave, you know, all his best friends a million bucks. Right.

Speaker 1 Are you going to do that? Yeah, no. Are we your friends? Nah, I just like it.

Speaker 5 Okay. Hey, man.
Appreciate you.

Speaker 1 Buddies, $500,000?

Speaker 5 No, you're actually going to owe me money. Okay.

Speaker 1 Probably after this. You're good to go.
So wait, hold on. We'll put you in our script.
What script? We have a movie.

Speaker 5 You guys have a movie? Adam Sandler's.

Speaker 1 like to hear about it. I'm producing it.

Speaker 1 Adam Sandler is producing it.

Speaker 1 For real? Knows Attached? A little guy named Zach Efron. You know him? Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 5 What is it?

Speaker 1 It's like boner dogs. So

Speaker 1 there's a dog, and he's got a boner. You're interested in it.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like a mixture of Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Ranger, with Hansel and Gretel. So they get lost in the woods.
They all make fun of the dog because he's the only one with a boner.

Speaker 1 But it snows, and the only way they can find the...

Speaker 5 They make fun of the dog because he's the only one that that can get a boner

Speaker 1 has a boner all the time yeah red rock yeah no one's got the lipstick except him and it snows and it covers up their tracks

Speaker 1 and they can only get back by tracing the boner on the way back

Speaker 5 yeah now is this live action or animation

Speaker 1 sure yeah and bonus i think we're going to produce it in the bahamas offshore nice it's going to be a in a foreign animated short so it'll be really easy to get nominated for an Oscar that you've been chasing nice who's the fire festival dude uh

Speaker 1 Billy McFarland billy mcfarland

Speaker 1 sounds like a we are

Speaker 1 on the same island that's

Speaker 1 nanny now

Speaker 5 why is now why jimmy yeah i remember that's funny well no we're serious

Speaker 5 no i'm just saying i he had jimmy back in his like old uh videos and so yeah i think he's a pretty funny kid yeah did you ever watch like the bo burnham stuff yeah we get him attached hilarious yeah we get him attached david spade anyone you want now why now david spade what zach efron tell for why did zach uh i mean he came after he came after this he just went well we went to his house and we did a video with him and he did our podcast and we basically trapped him in a van and we said

Speaker 1 before you leave you need to sign right here and he signed so we actually did booze and burgers with Zach Efron we did nice we did

Speaker 1 the bun uh yes you actually said I don't usually do this and then we turned on the camera yeah we went after it like a cheat day yeah exactly yeah he's got a good body yeah he's great yeah do you know Zach huh do you know Zach yeah we did a movie me him and Michael B.

Speaker 5 Jordan. This movie, That Awkward Moment.

Speaker 1 Ooh, sounds good. Yeah.
Is there a

Speaker 1 bone or dog? No.

Speaker 5 A couple of chuckles in there. Boner dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a few laughs. Is there a genre of movie that you've wanted to do?

Speaker 5 I feel like I've done a good amount.

Speaker 1 Porn. Corn? Pornography.
Corn has their own genre of pornography. What pornography? If you take just a husk and you can't show the the title's right there.
What on sports? Huh? Sports. Sports.

Speaker 5 I would love to do a baseball movie. Really? I just think baseball lends itself cinematically because at any given time, half the team's in the dugout.
It's a slower pace.

Speaker 5 You know, it's in between the pitches. Balls and not play that much.

Speaker 1 And yeah, it's just something classic about it. We'll write you a baseball movie.

Speaker 1 We could.

Speaker 1 Baseball movie. We could write it.
All right. So what about a movie where it's you pitch your head? No, hold on, PFP.
Hold on. Hold on.
Hear me out. Hit it.
So you know those bat dogs? Huh?

Speaker 1 The bat dogs that bring the bats out and they bring them back? Yep. The minor leagues have it.
So the dog has a boner,

Speaker 1 and you are out there and you keep breaking your bat. So, like, boom, maple, I don't know what it is, and you can't find your way.
And the dog keeps coming out and dragging the boner.

Speaker 1 And then eventually, I need help. Okay, so

Speaker 1 the last time he goes out there,

Speaker 1 he slips and falls on the leaded batting donut, and it becomes a cockring for the dog. Nice.
And now the dog's got a boner for the rest of his life.

Speaker 1 How quickly

Speaker 1 we win the World Series. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not the first movie?

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. Where do we go from there? Because I'm thinking franchise boys.
I'm thinking like the sequels to this stuff.

Speaker 1 Have you ever heard of a little thing called Bad News Bears? They went and played in Japan? For Bad News Bears 2?

Speaker 5 What was the other movie? Was that what Tom Seliki played in Japan? Was that Mr.

Speaker 1 Baseball? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so I think you're in on this. Are we going to just have like a

Speaker 1 chimpanzee that plays third base, base, and then you could become best friends with him? It'd be called Ed, the name of the chimpanzee. Does this do anything for you? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've seen the movie Ed.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we're spitballing. You know, I think we had a good place to start.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just anything I'd like to see you in a movie with a monkey. Maybe

Speaker 5 just less boners and stuff.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Okay, we could see.
It's kind of non-negotiable. Semi.
It depends on the ball. Semi.
At what point do you look at your PR person and you're like, get me out of here? I'm about right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we got to wrap up.

Speaker 1 We got to wrap up all right i actually do have one last question go see uh top gun maverick that's not a question this summer there's a statement leading to a question top gun maverick uh miles seller is not a dick we spent uh 25 minutes with him i think he hates us but he's not a dick the 32 tattoo yeah can you explain that that's pretty badass dude uh yeah i mean so there was uh

Speaker 5 this is gonna come off whatever but i'm glad it's on camera you're not a dick

Speaker 5 so uh yeah we grew up in a small town uh you know it's about like 10 000 people me and all my buddies and in florida they don't sell the biggest beers they sold were 32 ounce beers so we started drinking uh pretty young age and so before like volleyball game football game whatever it was we were always drinking 32s uh at like 16 17 somebody's like oh you know the 32 crews here and we're at that age we were like hell yeah we're here like oh walk around like a macho man just like

Speaker 5 suck it whatever and um

Speaker 5 so whatever and then we got in like our you know you know college and then early 20s. We're like, man, that was so lame.
Like the 32 Kuros that we had, like, belt buckles and shit.

Speaker 5 And like, my buddy got me there as like a goof from like Spencer or something. Never wore it, but kept it.
Yeah. And then

Speaker 5 as we got older, there is, yeah, there's like, yeah, about, you know, eight, eight of us

Speaker 5 who all still super close. And our friend group, we went through, we lost

Speaker 5 two buddies in car accidents like five weeks from each other. The one, my buddy Bo Guess, was like,

Speaker 1 you know, just one of our closest friends so that was that was rough but yeah man it's so whatever we have 32 and oh wait everybody everybody's got it that's actually cool it's rubber numerals hold on that's a cool tattoo when i read that i thought you had like a a can

Speaker 1 and it said 32 on it it would have been a bottle

Speaker 5 of here right a bottle yeah that's a badass tattoo yeah so we all got and we got it in my hometown we're actually gonna at this bar high octane saloon shout them out but um we actually tried to get they have a tattoo parlor in the bar so we we actually were going to we actually asked if we could tat each other up.

Speaker 5 He said no, let me call buddy up, woke him up. And this is one of the better looking ones.
Some of them are like, the line is clearly crooked.

Speaker 5 I like that tattoo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's Roman numerals.

Speaker 1 It's been jelly.

Speaker 1 No, it's good. But yeah.

Speaker 1 When I saw it, it just looks like a Super Bowl tattoo.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Super Bowl 32.

Speaker 1 You should get it. People won the Super Bowl 32 right now.
52.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The Patriots.

Speaker 5 That's a guess.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, it was

Speaker 1 24 years

Speaker 1 and the Broncos. Twenty Broncos.

Speaker 1 So people are like, yeah, you're a big Broncos fan. Yeah, no.
Super Bowl 52. Yeah.
54. You should get that, too, on the other bicep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I have one last question. Why don't more movies end in the outtake reels?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I don't know. You're saying for comedies, right?

Speaker 5 Like dramas?

Speaker 1 Like Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 Should you have an outtake afterwards? Just like lighten the mood a little bit for the people on the way home.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't know, but I guess

Speaker 5 a lot of movies now do stuff after the credits, right? Isn't that a whole thing? Like, like does such and such have a post-credits scene? Right. But I'm with you on the outtakes.

Speaker 5 I mean, yeah, Jackie Chan, like the best to ever do that.

Speaker 1 That's always a true thing. Absolutely.
People don't talk about that enough. Absolutely.
Is he the goat?

Speaker 5 The goat of the what, the outtakes? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
I'd agree. Yeah.
Yeah. Bill O'Reilly.
Disagreement here. Bill O'Reilly, Chris Berman.
Uh-huh. Dude,

Speaker 1 yeah, that one's good.

Speaker 1 Did you ever... Oh.
Do you listen? You don't listen. What? We do that every Monday.
Oh, nice. In the football season.
It doesn't sound as cool.

Speaker 1 i check it doesn't sound as cool if you just did it no i guess that's cool no but to be fair uh i have some whoop i that's good yeah i do it a lot yeah

Speaker 1 it's just air coming out now

Speaker 1 you gotta you gotta commit the frozen dundra

Speaker 5 the uh no for whatever reason like my computer uh

Speaker 5 there's some weird shit on it but like for whatever reason not weird shit like yeah back up for a second relax relax you make it sound like i got like kitty porn on the

Speaker 1 kitty corn kitty corn

Speaker 1 cornography

Speaker 5 But yeah, my computer literally will not let me go to Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. Your wife blocked it? Firewalled it?

Speaker 1 That's fucked up. Yeah.
No, that's a true story though. Well, Miles, thank you, man.
This is awesome. Appreciate it.
Nice guys. Go see Top Gun Maverick 2.

Speaker 1 You are not decidedly not a dick, just a Philly guy.

Speaker 5 That's right.

Speaker 5 Just a Philly sports fan, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there it is. Love it.
Cool. Thanks.

Speaker 1 That interview with Miles Teller. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 1 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 1 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 1 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for a $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 7 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone everyone wants to be a student.
Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Speaker 7 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to some segments. We'll finish up with a few and then we will have Dana on.
So first up, we have Bachelor Talk. Hank, we had our own friend, Trent, on the Bachelor, luggage guy.

Speaker 1 Trent is the guy who gives us the bachelor notes, right? Yep. He was on The Bachelor.
Massive, massive day for Trent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he had, he basically like Manifest Destiny, tweeted many times you wanted to be the luggage guy. And he finally made that happen last night.

Speaker 1 Other notes, Madison, the Auburn basketball player girl, she's a virgin. Nice.
No judgment. Good girl.
Trent pulled Natasha's luggage when she got kicked off.

Speaker 1 Is that what they're calling it these days? Tosh. Kelly was sent home.
Okay.

Speaker 1 See ya. Hannah Ann and Victoria F both cried and got roses.
I don't like the name Hannah Ann. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you're a cut rate cabbage patch doll. I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 So I saw a Twitter thread with some girl that apparently Hannah Ann and Hannah B, who was, you remember as the bachelor last season, actually went to high school together. Oh.
Some collusion going on.

Speaker 1 Kelsey also.

Speaker 1 Do they share a fantasy, like daily fantasy login, too? No.

Speaker 1 Kelsey also got a rose, and she was the one with Champagne Gate and Pill Popping Gate. So they will be going to her hometown, Iowa.
Pill Popping Gate. So the drama's paying off for Kelsey.
Nice.

Speaker 1 What's Pill Popping Gate? She was the one that said the girl was popping pills, and the girl's like, no, it's just Adderall and birth control. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 Who could forget Pill Poppin' Gate? Who could forget Pill Poppin' Gate? Really, the moral of the story is that Trent is the star of the Bachelor of this year. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 I mean, if you saw the luggage pull that he had, I mean, Judd Appetow, that was so funny. All business.
Judd Appetow just randomly being like, I love this luggage guy.

Speaker 1 Like, the expression straight out of a movie is one that was used.

Speaker 1 And then a guy who has literally made some of the best movies the last 20 years also saw it and thought, that guy is straight out of a movie. I have to put this on Instagram.

Speaker 1 Trent is going to end up in the next Judd Appatelle movie. Yeah.
That will be. Like a bellhop.
Yeah, that'll be what Trent himself. Like, Judd Appitale is also not a poster.

Speaker 1 Like, I was going on Instagram. Like, he doesn't really, he's not really an active social media user.
But in that moment, he was so struck by Trent's luggage carrying.

Speaker 1 He's like, I got to get this on the ground. He knows talent wins.
By that frame, that big, strong frame.

Speaker 1 All right, we have this league for.

Speaker 1 Also, by state, I feel like people from Iowa are probably better than any other state at packing luggage, too. And being on The Bachelor.
I feel like there's always someone from Iowa on The Bachelor.

Speaker 1 We have Joelle and Bede this league, so he posted a caption, or sorry, a picture

Speaker 1 with him doing the shush

Speaker 1 and said the Dark Knight quote, live long enough to be the hero or die the villain. Is that right? No.
You either die a hero or you live long enough to become a villain. And Jimmy Butler

Speaker 1 responded, I know a great place where villains thrive or something. I can't pull it up.
The internet sucks. He did say that, and then Joelle and Bede Bede replied to him like affirmative.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I forget what emoji you used, but it was like get back together. A little heat check.
Joel and Bedeat

Speaker 1 My Miami Heat. Let's go.
Well, they can't get him this year. Let's get Mark Wahlberg's daughter involved in the recruiting process.
Yeah, they can't get the whole squad on South Beach.

Speaker 1 This year, but that is Joel Mbiad and Ben Simmons really do not like each other. I did realize that you remember season one.
Year one of part of my take.

Speaker 1 Excuse me.

Speaker 1 I have a new segment after this, by the way. Okay.

Speaker 1 You remember year one of pardon my take?

Speaker 1 I left my wallet at the Q Arena. The flicking one of the arena.
The stone headed moved by you. Correct.
And the Cavaliers ended up winning the championship. I left my half of my wallet down in Miami.

Speaker 1 But not at the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Not at the

Speaker 1 arena. But I'm just saying, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't want to prematurely connect any dots, but it seems like a lot of stuff has been happening. What do you lose half of your wallet?

Speaker 1 There was a lot of stuff. I was taking credit cards out of my wallet.
So you didn't lose, you lost your credit cards.

Speaker 1 We can talk about now that the interview had just aired, but super weird of Miles Teller to start going through your credit card. Oh, yeah, that was a weird moment.
So it was shortly after that.

Speaker 1 I realized I had to get rid of some of the stuff that was in there. I got rid of some of it.

Speaker 1 And I left a debit card at the bar there. So not even close to your wallet.
You just left your debit card down in Florida. And a lot of other stuff.
A lot of other things. And not in any arena.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was.

Speaker 1 You just lost your debit card. I lost my debit card in Miami,

Speaker 1 and I got nothing to do with the other stuff, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, I'm trying to put together what has happened since we've left Miami because I've become somehow like kind of attached to this Heat team, mostly because of their jerseys. Yep.

Speaker 1 Uh, but I'm gonna say that it has something to do with the fact I left my Wolf card down, though.

Speaker 1 You're really gonna be stuck in a pickle if the Heat actually do go on a run, and it's because Jimmy Butler is a top 10 player in the league.

Speaker 1 No, I think that he just needed the right environment, right? But then what are you gonna say if he does that?

Speaker 1 I'm gonna say this just goes to show that before he was not a top 10 player, or else he would have willed his team to the finals. Got it.

Speaker 1 Hang on, really.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got a Michael Wilbon's name drop of the week.

Speaker 1 Just came in from David Wallace. Oh.
He randomly, so he's been on the show a few times, and he randomly will just pop in with some text messages every now and then.

Speaker 1 He sent me a picture of him, A-Rod, and Tiger at some celebrity golf event and just said, chatting about Barcelona yesterday with A-Rod and Tiger Woods at Riviere Tiger Challenge.

Speaker 1 Super nice guy, all of them actually.

Speaker 1 That's a pretty sick, that's a pretty sick name drop. That's pretty, yeah.
And if you can get A-Rod and Tiger involved, do you think they had any idea who he was?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think he's a good golfer.
Yeah, he is. He was.
Remember, he got a scholarship at Stanford. Yeah, they know who he is.
Okay, so yeah, if you went to Stanford, then Tiger knows him for sure.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. He probably got invited.
I think that's an invite-only kind of event. Yeah, I would say so.
When he said... It's like a celebrity pro-an.

Speaker 1 When he said he's a nice guy, both of them actually. Super nice guy, all of them actually.
All of them, actually. Who do you think he was talking about at first saying like super nice guy, A-Rod?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he started the conversation with chatting about Barcelona yesterday with A-Rod. Yes.
Yes. All right.
Shout out to CFO Michael David Wallace. You got David Wallace.
David Wallace.

Speaker 1 David Wallace.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's finish up the show with Guys on Chicks. And also, we have made a major booking.
The internet's number one celebrity.

Speaker 1 It is Zillian Beer's guy, also known as Dana B, who also, fun history lesson for everyone out there. Dana B got into this world by being the part of my take intern

Speaker 1 and then quit because we were basically not paying him and he was like, I can't keep doing this. Still, my phone is Dana PMT.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could have, in another world, you could be sitting where Bubba is right now, and we would have been like, dude, Zillian Beers is stupid. You're a fuck up.
Don't do it. Correct.

Speaker 1 And I owe my life to Hank Lockwood. And I've said that since day one.
Thank you, Henry. What about us?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that too. I mean, I mostly just like did stuff for Hank, not really you.
Well, I mean, it was my both.

Speaker 1 It was mostly all Hank.

Speaker 1 Dana, wouldn't you say that, like, if you were worth

Speaker 1 my take, that we could have like blasted, we could have blasted zillion beers?

Speaker 1 You soaked a beer that you would have already made a million dollars, and he's chugging it, and he's chugging it, and he's chugging it. And it's get it in the mic, dude.

Speaker 1 So, Dana, I have a question. I have one question for you.
Dana,

Speaker 1 for the AWLs,

Speaker 1 for the AWLs, I do love the ASMR of Jane of Triggen Beer. He has to do another one where we just all stay quiet and he does the whole thing.

Speaker 1 Are living under a rock and maybe haven't been on the internet in the past week? What is Zillion Beers and how did this whole thing start?

Speaker 1 All right, so there's a softball team in Hingham, Massachusetts. Shout out to the South Shore.
Again, shout out to the coaching tree, Henry Lockwood. I'm going to keep shouting him out.
Great. Okay.

Speaker 1 And their team name was Zillion Beers. It's been around since 2016.
And I thought that was funny. Like, I just saw them and I was like, hey, that's a funny name.

Speaker 1 And I just started saying it organically. It's like one of your buddies says something.
Wait, wait, wait. Do you know what organic?

Speaker 1 Because what you just described. You're right, that was the opposite of organic.
You saw it, and then you repeated it. Yeah, but I mean, I popularized it.
You popularized it. That's a good word.

Speaker 1 You know what you did? You amplified it. Yeah, yeah.
You signal-boosted it. All right, so you have the Zillian Beers softball team.

Speaker 1 Then you see.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then you see the Friday Beers Twitter.
No, we don't talk about that. Oh, shit.
My bad.

Speaker 1 So, Dana, is this your job right now to just sit at work and crack beers? For the most part, yeah, this week I've had several weekday, like midday beers, and honestly, I love it.

Speaker 1 It's very European of you. This is your brand now.
You can't go anywhere. You're the civilian beers guy.

Speaker 1 Again, for the people at home that might not be understanding what's happening, you were our boss said if you sell 30K worth of merch, he'll give you like 5K, and you said. Wait, back up even more.

Speaker 1 Let's back up. We're doing a terrible job.
Dana B is a producer. He's a behind-the-scenes guy.

Speaker 1 guy every weekend he was tweeting out videos where people would send in requests for songs and then he would play the song and crush a beer and he said i'm the zillion beers guy and he would constantly try to be in front of the camera and dave said guys who are behind the camera should be behind the camera

Speaker 1 and you said well zillion beers is pretty much like microsoft apple it is uh the the ford like all these companies that people you know that revolutionize the world like you think you're sitting at home right now saying, oh, this weekend, I can't wait to have a beer.

Speaker 1 No, how about a zillion beers? Wait, do the ASMR then? All right, did you hear the crack? Yeah, okay. This is me taking the thing.

Speaker 1 No one say anything. I don't say that, but I'm trying to get more

Speaker 1 for the ASMR.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. No one saying anything for the environment.
The fizz.

Speaker 1 Gets him cracking the beer can on his head. That's Dana's job.
So, Dana has a moment where Dave says, You got to stop trying to be Zillion Beers guy.

Speaker 1 And Dana says, Listen, Dave, you're sitting on a fucking gold mine.

Speaker 1 People out there have been drinking one or two beers for their entire life. They haven't even thought about drinking a zillion of them.
So, let me sell the merch. Let me push it.

Speaker 1 And they made a deal that if Dana sells $30,000 a merch in basically like eight hours, he a new zillion beers for life.

Speaker 1 It then has taken off from there and you've made various negotiation deals that have been very ill-advised to the point where now you have to sell a million dollars worth of merch by next Sunday.

Speaker 1 You had 25K cash in your hand. Yeah.
You needed to sell 250,000 and

Speaker 1 you would have bought 25k cash and you did that. You succeeded in that and you yourself, unmitigated from anyone, were like, No, no, no.
Even though I already hit the 25K, I could get 25K on Monday.

Speaker 1 You said, let me give me until next Sunday, and if I sell a million, then I get $100,000. Correct.
Which is where we're at now.

Speaker 1 Right now, it's, what, five o'clock on Tuesday? We're at $450,000.

Speaker 1 The weekdays are vital because the weekend, I know I'm going to crush it. We've got the date coming up on Friday.
Confirmed. I actually am just about to buy her flight.
Yeah. You want to shout out me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, shout out to Ben.

Speaker 1 You haven't heard this one yet?

Speaker 1 I realized that Friday is Valentine's Day, so I said the way to really take it over the top is you need to figure out a girl who will go on a date with you in your apartment and just crush a Zillian beers.

Speaker 1 As soon as I heard him say that, I had this girl on Twitter that was in my DMs once, and like her pinned tweet is her jumping in bushes and shit. She's Bill's Mafia.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, she's Zillian's Mafia.

Speaker 1 You guys remember?

Speaker 1 You guys remember Vodka Sam from

Speaker 1 college baseball a while ago? You've got the updated. She's Azillian Beers.
I want her to slam me through a ping pong table.

Speaker 1 But it's just going to be the two of them having a date in their apartment, their rat nest. That's going to be fine.
That's going to be a good time.

Speaker 1 Is it frowned upon if I throw her into a table? Yes. Yes, don't do that.
Absolutely. Don't do that.
Don't Don't do that.

Speaker 1 I'm happy to talk to her. As your strategic advisor, I'm happy we talked about what if she's like, I won't.
No, no, no, no. Well, no, no.
Maybe if she showed her picture ID

Speaker 1 in front of your black leather couch.

Speaker 1 With computers these days, you can edit videos.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah, just don't do that part.

Speaker 1 All right, so now you're trying to get a million, and if you get a million, you get $100,000. You're going to give $15,000 to the Pete Fready's ALS Foundation, which is great cause.

Speaker 1 Now, my question for you is, do you understand how taxes work?

Speaker 1 Certainly not. Okay.
Did you hear me studies in my coaching tree? Yeah, so you've been giving away money, and I don't think you realize that you're only going to end up with like $50,000.

Speaker 1 That's $50,000 more than I have. Dana did say the other day that he's a millionaire now.
He's gotten $0, and he only can get $100,000.

Speaker 1 But no, if you sell $1 million worth of it, I think that it entitles you to say that you're a millionaire, even though you don't make a million dollars.

Speaker 1 That is exactly what I'm expecting to do to everybody I see. And by the way, Dan, you're right.
If I walked into Southeast right now, I think I'd be getting my wean sucked left and right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you would, Zillion Beers guy. Here comes Zillion Beers guy.

Speaker 2 Like, that's the guy.

Speaker 1 Let's, hey, he's going to the bathroom and get my ween sucked. Yeah, yeah.
You know? Yeah. After you have, but before that, you have to drink like 7,000 ceiling beers.

Speaker 1 What about with the girls? No,

Speaker 1 good one, dude.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 Dan, here's my question for you: Is once you make this money, because I'm sure that you're going to hit it. You're a marketing genius.

Speaker 1 You're doing great work here.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do with the money that you make from it? Because people are going to be expecting that you're going to have to reinvest that into just buying beers. More zillions.
Just beers.

Speaker 1 I might just buy, like, I literally might just buy, go to like a packy, which is what us Massachusetts guys call the fucking alcohol store, the booze store. Okay, we don't, we don't have to.
Just buy

Speaker 1 all of their kegs and just put them in my apartment. What you should do is

Speaker 1 you should walk into like a. Yeah, no, he's right.
No, no, he's right. He should walk into an album.
I would just buy one at a time. No, you drink a keg over the course of three weeks.

Speaker 1 It tastes great. Yeah, and then you just pop open the other kegs and sit in your apartment.
Actually, Danny, you know what you do? Dead serious. Yeah.
You open your own store called Zillion Beers.

Speaker 1 That's genius. It's just beer.
And it's just beer. So you only sell beer.
What about merch?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can have some merch behind the counter. I don't think so.
I think

Speaker 1 if you wear a Zillion Beer shirt into Zillion Beers, you get a beer for free. I don't hate that.
Cold one. I don't hate that one bit.
Can we call an Audible here?

Speaker 1 Because we did have guys on chicks, but I wanted to, I forgot. This is actually your second time on the show, and I would like to actually do Dana's thoughts.
So you have your thoughts.

Speaker 1 You have your notebook? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Where is it? Long gone. What do you mean? Also, I had a notebook that was just labeled Zillion Beers, and it was all my ideas for Zillion Beers.

Speaker 1 I left it at the airport.

Speaker 1 So give us those. Give us your thoughts.
I don't know. It's gone.
It's a physical notebook. But you can remember the things that you had.
It was mostly memes, which I've retired from.

Speaker 1 I've gone from memes.

Speaker 1 You don't truly retire. Is there any beer account that you're doing? No, but

Speaker 1 I actually drink beers. I'm not a faceless coward like certain people.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 you know what? Just fell out of that PMT. Fuck those guys.
They stink.

Speaker 1 Listen, we're not here to start an internet war against other countries.

Speaker 1 You can do that by yourself. But I've graduated.
I've graduated to just yugging beers. That's the boys.
Yeah, yugging them. Very mature.
Yeah, he's next level. So give us some thoughts, though.

Speaker 1 You have Dana thoughts. Like, just give us a few that have been.

Speaker 1 Ask a question. I'll give you anything.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'll go through my notes.

Speaker 1 Give us your notes. Give us your notes.
How's your winter going?

Speaker 1 Your wiener? Yeah, winter. Winter and winter.
He's getting his wien sucked left and right. I am, Beth.
My wiener, it's I'm in the big cat camp. I'm a grower, not a shower.
Okay, I'm saying, yep.

Speaker 1 Small dick club. For life.
Tiny meat gang, right?

Speaker 1 SD for life.

Speaker 1 Honestly, there's not much. It's just my list of Zillian beers, and it says Bill's Mafia.
That's got to be a t-shirt.

Speaker 1 Right? Okay. I don't know what, but it's not.

Speaker 1 This is inside the mind of a marketing genius, folks.

Speaker 1 The gang drinks a Zillian beers. Okay.
Okay. Got it.
So again, it sounds like you're really into the cigarette boosting business. It's fucking gold.
That's a good one. That's cold, dude.

Speaker 1 It's a good one. I can't tell if you're fucking with it.
No, I'm serious. That's gold.
So you see what he's wearing right here?

Speaker 1 Obviously, they can't see, but it says Zillion Beers Check Mark, taking it easy, no check mark. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Zillion Beers check mark, mixing in a water, no check mark.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 What about a Zillian Beers anthem?

Speaker 1 I know what you're trying to do here. I feel like you need an anthem.
I know what you're trying to do. No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to push you in one direction or the other. All right, what else?

Speaker 1 The XFL team, the ones that were yugging those beers in the locker room. They were actually Bud Light Seltzer's.
Thank you, Bud Light Seltzer. Thank you, Bud Lezels.
That's a great sponsor.

Speaker 1 Nick Fitzgerald, their quarterback, said that if we get them merch this week. Mississippi State.
Yep. Fuck Brennan Walker.
Big Cone Tip.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I was actually trying it.
Whatever. You're drunk.
You're drunk. No, I'm not.
You're always drunk. You want me to get another beer? I'll get another beer.

Speaker 1 I'll prove to you I'm not drunk. I'll drink another beer.

Speaker 1 They are going to wear the Zillion Beers, St. Patty's merch, in the locker room if they win next week.
Okay. Take a picture.
Okay. That's not an idea.
It's just a fact. All right.
Give us more.

Speaker 1 A Zillion Beer.

Speaker 1 What percent chance do you think you have to make a million? I'm a Zillow.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, 90%. Don't you think it's a little weird that you didn't make your goal a zillion? Yeah, but a zillion is like,

Speaker 1 how do you calculate a zillion?

Speaker 1 I don't know. You're the zillion beers guy.
I mean, did I just

Speaker 1 ruin the whole thing? Oh, I got a good one. I got to go.
I got a good one. Buzz Light Beer to Azillion and Beyond.

Speaker 1 That's fucking good. That's gold.
Okay, what else? The Toronto Tavern. You know how they all scream? It's just me drinking a beer on there, and they go fucking nuts.

Speaker 1 I I thought you were tired from the meme game. No, no.
Okay.

Speaker 1 No, that's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt PS

Speaker 1 gift shirt. Shout out, Mark Cuban.
Why don't you have

Speaker 1 five shirts? You get your friend. You get them for your friend, so it's like you all have to stay next to each other.
Why don't you make Zillion Beers the official beer of the Toronto Tavern? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 If they're into that, can we like? That's what you should do.

Speaker 1 You should open, if you get the 100K, you should open a place called Toronto Tavern. Here's an idea.
Here's an idea. What about a shirt that says

Speaker 1 it's a tweet? it's your tweet, and it's you chugging a beer, and it says thread one-zillion

Speaker 1 genius. That's pretty good.
Who would buy that, though? I would. Yeah, I know you would.
Yeah. So there you go.
You got one. I am the Zillion Beers guy.
Yeah. It's okay.
What else you got?

Speaker 1 And this is.

Speaker 1 Kids are probably like paying, I don't know, $300,000 to go to business school. Just listen to Dana B.
I'm actually a marketing genius. I know.
I'm not joking. I know.
All right.

Speaker 1 You know, you guys watch Always Sunny? Yeah. Yeah, the gang memory.
You already did that. Yeah, I got another meme.
Okay. Come back and say.
It's always Zillion in Beer Adelphi.

Speaker 1 Did you think we didn't watch Always Sunny when we laughed about the first one?

Speaker 1 My brain's going left, right, up, down, all over the place. Okay.
All right. Rickety Cricket.
You know him? Mm-hmm. You know how he gets progressively shittier? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 The first,

Speaker 1 when he's like the guy and he's good. What's the word? When you're religious? You're a priest? Priest.
When you're a priest, that's a thousand beers. And he keeps going.

Speaker 1 Million, billion, and then final stage is zillion. So it's like Galaxy Mighty meme.

Speaker 1 How about this one? How about Drake going like this to one beer and then going like that? I've seen a zillion beers. Oh, what about doing the remember the 10-year challenge?

Speaker 1 What about the Zillion beer challenge where it's a picture of everyone when they're sober and then after they've had a Zillion beers? I like that a lot. I mean, this is, we're cooking now.

Speaker 1 Can I do the 612 1824? But just have it be beers? Yeah. So you can drink six beers, you can drink 12 beers 18 beers and 24 beers 60 beers

Speaker 1 it's a lot of beers should i just do that yeah just do that just drink 60 beers all right should i just drink 60 beers and call it the 6128 what about what if we got you on like um myfreecams.com or made you a cam girl only fans yeah only fans i've no joke i've gotten like 30 people being like you should go on only fans and chuck beers you should that's your thing it's like just take

Speaker 1 i don't want to be like a subscription service i want my beers to be for everyone right that's true

Speaker 1 I do want to talk to you a little bit about the Zillion Beers anthem because I want to give it to you for free. Okay.

Speaker 1 Is that true? Yeah, it's absolutely true. All right.

Speaker 1 It's high hopes for a living. All right.
Why drink one beer when you could drink a zillion? Dane is selling merch. Yeah, he's going to make a killing.
Ooh,

Speaker 1 nice. I could go on, but we'll save it for the studio.
Okay. I'm down.
All right, give us two more Zillion Beer merch ideas and we'll wrap up the show.

Speaker 1 All right, this isn't really funny, but baseball jerseys and they're like on the back, it says the number is a zillion, and I haven't figured out what the name is, but maybe it just says beers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, beers. That's good.
I was going to say,

Speaker 1 you know? I was going to say, what about

Speaker 1 you? If you reversed it and the name.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. Hank, can you go get him another beer so we can finish it? This is all about the beer.

Speaker 1 He's starting to start. He's got a mini fridge that I bought you.
That's true.

Speaker 1 It's like gasoline. You need it in your body to.
When was the last time you were sober? I've been sober this morning

Speaker 1 and yesterday morning okay so morning was a bit sober didn't you drink a beer yeah

Speaker 1 i'm not a pussy i didn't get shit faced off one beer right okay but i'm also not a hardo right okay uh oh okay so all right so last one and then you'll take us out with a zillion with uh chug all right

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 honestly

Speaker 1 I don't know. You don't have anything.
The Buzz Light Beer one is like

Speaker 1 that's the retirement one. I should have ended with that one.
Yeah, yeah. Buzz Light Beer.
That's pretty. What about, oh, what about John Beer and his attractor mowing a lawn? Oh, a bazillion.

Speaker 1 That would be pretty good.

Speaker 1 That's sick. Yeah, that's good, right? How do you.

Speaker 1 What's the lawnmower, though? Oh, have I ever told you? What time I came from the lawnmower? Okay, go ahead. You haven't heard this one? No.
Do you guys know this back in the back? All right.

Speaker 1 So my first time coming, was I'd allowed to say that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You said so much shit. Was I mowing a lawn, and

Speaker 1 I was in like fifth grade, and the vibrations were going all through my body, and I just came in my pants.

Speaker 1 I was like, what's going on? We'll put that in the book. We'll put that in the book.
When you write your book about, you know, how you became a zillionaire off,

Speaker 1 you lost your virginity too long ago. That's awesome.
That's pretty cool. I can't believe you guys haven't heard that.
No, as fine. I mean, no, that's not.
The word hasn't gotten a bird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, John Beer having just a green t-shirt with the deer logo on it, except maybe the deer's even chugging a beer.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You could go multiple ways out there. Yeah, put that in your notes.
John Beer. John Beer.
Oh, how about like

Speaker 1 old school, remember the no-fear shirts? No beer, and then on the back it says not.

Speaker 1 We got a zillion. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Now we're talking. Good old not joke there.
So now I wrote down John Beer, deer drinking a beer. Yeah, well, you could do two.
And then also the John Beer

Speaker 1 mowing

Speaker 1 crops of zillion beers. Yeah, one that says, I came using a lawnmower.
Also, just, I think that one would be a little bit more.

Speaker 1 You guys are telling me you've never... Come on.
No. I've never fucked a lawnmower.
No, you didn't fuck it, but

Speaker 1 it goes through your body. It's sharp, dude.
It's very sharp. I'll do one more.
All right.

Speaker 1 We'll end the show with your one more. X-Files, but the Z-Files.
Oh, I actually had a great idea that I forgot to tell you guys. Okay.
A zillion, except it starts with an X. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 I don't know who that goes out to, but. Axillion.
Yeah. It's a new number.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's cool.
I'm drinking Axillian beers tonight.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's it. All right.

Speaker 1 That one maybe we'll cut, but we can cut that.

Speaker 1 This is Dana B,

Speaker 1 and we are at ASMR drinking a Zillion beers.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 I don't know why

Speaker 1 to say I'm faded away.

Speaker 1 Today's a love day to find you shine.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of dream. Love of dream.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love of date. Today's

Speaker 1 love

Speaker 1 Tell me that's the same.

Speaker 1 I'm upset in spirit,

Speaker 1 stone right away.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning, but life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry, to be safe and sorry, to be safe and sorry, to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 You all think that I've got to remember

Speaker 1 shy and all

Speaker 1 be coming for you to ready,

Speaker 1 anyway.

Speaker 1 Love me coming for you to do anyway.

Speaker 1 all

Speaker 1 day.

Speaker 1 Take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my take presented by Far Stool Sports.