SB Champ Chris Jones, Josh Allen, XFL And The Oscars

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On today's part of my take, we have Super Bowl champion Chris Jones on the podcast in studio telling us what it was like in Kansas City after the big win, telling us how his life has changed also maybe partied a little too hard but that's no fault of his own we also have our good friend josh allen the rocket arm on the show and we talk a little xfl little duke unc a little uh way to stay relevant baseball some tangents in the segments a great show your way. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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And we will hook up some AWLs who had bad beats over the weekend. Today is Monday, February 10th.
XFL Week 1. And with 13 minutes and 9 seconds left in the second quarter The D.C.
Defender kicker Tyler Roussa From 35 yards The kick is up And it is no good No good From 35 yards 35 yarder No good Tyler Roussa And that is your most important highlight of the weekend So welcome welcome to part of my take we had the XFL this weekend we're gonna talk everything else but we it was probably the biggest story of the weekend I think anytime one of these football leagues debuts uh it is the biggest story for at least one weekend I enjoyed it the XFL was I thought it was really fun now I I watched obviously all of the first game i was in dc for it um the the crowd was electric the crowd was ready for some football who knows how the xfl is going to go if it's going to be uh like a season-long fascination or if it's going to be like the aaf last year where it was the first two weeks we're like yeah let's go football yep and then it died out but it seemed like the rules were just drunk enough in the XFL where it could work out. And I'm going to say like the atmosphere in D.C.
at Audi Field was better. It was more fun than any Redskins game that I've been to in the last like 20 years.
Well, so the quarterback play actually weirdly was better for the D.C. defenders than it had been for the Redskins for the last 20 years, too.
Cardell Jones was good. He was really good, and I thought that was a surprise to me.
I didn't know if he was going to be good enough. He was definitely the guy to watch because all the other quarterbacks weren't so good.
So I went into it. I've said it on Friday's show.
I'm nervous because I went into AAF thinking, oh, my God, this is going to be great, and then got my heart broken. I've done this dance before.
so i went into aaf thinking oh my god this is gonna be great and then got my heart broken i've done this dance before so i went into it cautious but i did enjoy it i thought it was uh watchable better than the aaf there's definitely some things that are weird that they have to fix but there's also some things that will be in the nfl soon like yes the kickoff rule is cool i like the kickoff. The extra points where it's one, two, and three, I love that you can go for three now because it extends games.
And it also gives situations where Mark Trestman can kick a field goal when the team actually is only down two scores. So he kicked a field goal to go down two scores to go down two scores, not realizing that you can go for three and get nine points.
I also like it how on those extra points, anytime you can have three different colored lines superimposed on the field is awesome. Yes.
There's two, there's three. From the two-yard line, it's one point.
From the five, it's two points. From the ten, it's three points.
Is that how it works? Yeah. I don't know why anybody would ever go for one for one if you go for one you should have to wear a scarlet letter everyone went for one because it was like perfect it was basically giving these football coaches and that's actually a great like thing to watch is uh all these football coaches that you know have been cast aside for a while like kevin gilbride was was coaching the the guardians he hasn't coached since 2013.
Kind of thrown out to pasture.

So now he's back trying to get back into it,

and he's still doing conservative things to try to save his job.

It's just one point.

Yeah, it's great to watch these guys.

You don't get fired if you go for one.

Jerry Glanville's got two headsets on.

Ultimate football guy move.

He was 69ing the headsets because one has the mouthpiece on one.

I got to listen in on some of the play calls that were going on in the D.C. game during the actual play because the coaches can still talk to each other.
They were playing it on the broadcast too. During the actual plays? They would sometimes play what they were saying.
Yeah, so during the plays it was awesome hearing Pep Hamilton yelling at Cardale for making the wrong decision. He's like, throw it away, throw it away.
God damn it, Cardale. It was actually very interesting to hear the crowd was having a great time.
It seemed like everybody was like, it was almost like a company Christmas party in the stands where everybody was just like a little bit tipsy going into it and not really taking it super seriously, but just there to have fun. I also credit the XFL.
They did a good job with the jerseys. I like the jersey colors.
They're just good enough where you can see it as not a complete clown league. You know what I mean? I even like the Vipers.
I thought their helmets were cool. The Dragons.
I like their colors. It was just enough.
No, here's my problem with the Vipers helmet. It had notes of the Seattle Seahawks, like lime green, but it was almost like a little bit of barf pea soup.
No, I was cool with it. It got tampered down too much.
I was cool with it. So the helmets, the jerseys looked cool.
Some things I didn't like. Mark Trestman's just triggering me the whole time.
I told you. I didn't.
I thought there were too many interviews on the sideline. That's something they're going to have to figure out because it was a little too much.
I didn't really need to hear from a guy who ran a slant and caught a pass for 10 yards. Like, how'd that go? So that was a little too much.
I like that they're getting in the game. They also have to figure out a way.
So they went up to the replay booth a bunch, and it sounded like I had went up two flights of stairs. Just everyone's breathing super heavy into the mic.
So I like the transparency, but that's a little thing that they'll probably have to fix. But overall, it's far better than the AAF.
I don't know if it's going to succeed because, as I've always said, tell me how it does when we get to March Madness, when we get to the Masters and NBA and NHL playoffs. But as of right now, I thought it was good.
Actually, I had more fun at that game on Saturday than I've had in a very long time. I know I compared it to FedEx Field, which is like comparing a diamond to a piece of shit because FedEx Field is by far the worst stadium, I think, in all of the National Football League.
But just being at that game, it was fun. It was exciting.
And that's all that we want out of extra football. It's bonus football.
And it was fun even though the over didn't hit. The football itself wasn't great.
That's okay. We need to do something about the overs.
Yep. Yeah, no, people got very mad at me because I said, in jest, it was a bad beat.
It was beautiful that we started the league with a bad beat on the over in the D.C. Defenders game.
I said, cancel the league, not fun. i always forget that like there are some people who will take everything very seriously and also take football that seriously we're like fuck you why would you bash my league that i've loved for one day when i was very much in jest because the next game went over and i was like you know what league's back on listen i'm a i'm a lifelong xfl fan i'm a day one dc defenders guy.
So I guess the big test is, will you go out of your way to watch games? Because that's really what it comes down to me. I think I will watch games if I'm sitting there and it's like, oh, okay.
It's like I found myself even today. I watched the Wisconsin basketball game and then I was like, oh, there's a game on.
Let me flip over. And I watched it for a but will you build your weekend around it I don't that it doesn't pass that test yet well it passed this one test earlier today I was at I was at a bar I was eating lunch and they had the UMass game on the basketball game I think it was UMass George Mason I lost which is like asterisk is that really no it is yeah uh and the bartender heard like a request from somebody at the end of the room it was like oh yeah okay she goes up to the tv changed it to the xfl this is like that's that's that's the beginning this is like the start of the movement this is like political twitter when people make up like my five-year-old just asked me it was the what does medicare for all mean i was in a hipster you're you're no i was in a football politician making up stories.
I was in a hipster coffee shop. Viper fan.
No, it actually did happen that they changed it. I don't think the person gave a shit about the Vipers.
I'm just kidding. I love those stories on Twitter.
It was like, oh, yeah. I'm in a hipster coffee shop, and all the former liberals are talking about how much they love Donald Trump.
Yeah, that's essentially the story that I told, but it was true, and it's the start of a wave. I don't know how we're going to look at this league in two months' time, but what I do know is that this weekend there was football on TV.
Yeah, I liked it. As opposed to maybe there not being football on TV.
No, I liked it, and I feel like we're taking the mature approach versus last year when we lost our mind about the AAF.

You're right. Forgot about it a week later.
So this is the... We've been hurt before.
Yeah, I like it. I will watch it if I'm around and sitting there.
I don't... Again, come March Madness, we'll see.
That will be the big test. Is the XFL better than the NFL already? Wow.
Who's to say? Maybe. It also would just...
If they just had like one or two more guys, I know that they can't waste all their money on names, but if Tebow or Kaepernick or Manziel. Because I actually watched the first game because it was on and I was watching it anyway, but Cardell Jones is one of those guys.
I even tweeted, it was like, Cardell Jones, he'll make plays. You're like, why didn't he turn out? Why isn't he better than he is? I think Cardell Jones has only played, like, only started 12 games.
No, he has not lost the start since high school. Yeah, but he's only started, like, 12 or 13 games.
He came in relief in Ohio State. He's football younger than Mitchell Trubisky is.
Yeah. So I watch him, and I'm always baffled.
Like, that guy's got an arm. He makes plays, and then he'll do something stupid.
I'm like, okay, that makes sense. But he's someone you tune in to watch for.
They need, like, one or two more of those guys to really compel me to be like, okay, I've got to be in front of the TV for this game. Two-thirds of the Golden Triangle, if you had Kaepernick, Tebow, Manziel, if you had two-thirds of those, people are going to tune in and watch.
Toss in RG3 to the list. Maybe Jay Cutler.
Come back. Jay Cutler.
He's working on handball now. Maybe Joe Burrow.
Elected to be drafted by the XFL. Never Trevor Lawrence.
Skip your last year at Clemson. That's right.
Play for the Vipers. Who knows? Do it.
All these things could happen. One suggested, so you were talking about up in the replay booth, how it's a lot of just old men being like...
Yes. Just breathing directly in.
And a guy holding an Xbox controller. Which is sweet.
Yeah, very sweet. Which is a badass gamer for life.
He looked like Xbox One. I think he was playing Halo in between quarters.
Originally, like offline. Yeah, yeah.
Not connected to the internet. Yeah.
So what they should do is they should just put a filter on them so they sound like pilots and then have Top Gun going in the background. That would be cool.
They could buy an ad space. Roger that.
Looks like we're going to spot the ball on the 42-yard line. It's a sunny day.
And break, break, back to you guys down on the field. That would be cool to have that little dynamic going on up there.
I agree. So the other story we have out of the XFL.
By the way, you can watch us, Barstoolgold.com. We got Chris Jones and Josh Allen coming up.
You versus Darren Revell. Yeah.
Well, listen. You got mad.
Darren came at me. Sometimes you have to send a message that you're not to be fucked with.
And maybe I went a little bit too far. Yeah.
What did he say? Darren, Darren played dress up this morning for the, for the XFL guardians, the hated guardians. Darren made fun of the fact that you got cut from the XFL.
Yeah. He played dress up and not funny.
And they let him put on a little uniform and act like he was a football player. And then he was like one journalist didn't get cut.
And yeah, Darren's cause you aren't athletic enough to actually try try out and so I had to come at him and basically make fun of the fact that he's never given a woman an orgasm there we go and which he did not dispute that was the first time you know how before you tried out you're like hey I actually want to make this team not like ironically I want to make this team yeah that really hammered it home when you went at Darren Revell and you were actually mad and was like, you know what? PFT, have his back because guess what? Revell, it's not funny, dude. He came at me first.
It's not fucking funny, man. Listen, you got to send a message sometimes and let people know that you still got it.
Nice to see they let you have a jersey number honoring the amount of original ideas you've ever had multiplied by the number of times you've successfully located a clitoris. Got him.
Yeah. Got him.
Facts only. And then his response was, actually, I've had several original ideas at not addressing the clitoris.
So the clitoris might be zero then. Nice job, Ravel.
Looks like I got him. Also, they missed a 35-yarder, as we addressed in the past two minutes.
So that was a very funny moment. Just a perfect moment.
But then he made a 55-yarder, and it's like, okay, that makes sense. Why? But that's not my job.
I'm not a distance guy. I'm not a show-off guy.
When he missed a 35-yarder, I actually had a moment where I was kind of pissed. I was like, what the fuck? Why is BFG not in this league? And then he bombed a 55-yarder.
I was like, shit, that's probably why. It was a great kick, yeah.
Because, yeah, he can kick more than 35. But who knows? But he missed a 35 yarder.
Also got the hobnob with some of the brass, the XFL brass on the sidelines there. And the dream might not be over.
Oh, yeah? The dream might not be over. Okay, so they're just keeping you around.
They're putting you on ice. I was really hoping that Jim Zorn was going to run a swinging gate play just to stick it to the city of Washington, D.C.
Also, no double pass. No double pass.
That goes along the same lines as the coaches being afraid to go for two or three. Yep.
It's like there's a new rule that you can take advantage of that's probably going to look awesome on the SkyCam. Just please somebody try it.
Yes, yes. All right, so that was the XFL.
We have who's back. Before before we do that should we talk a little bit duke unc which was awesome the rivalry is back on even though unc's terrible this year the jerseys were the team manager bowl the team manager bowl i turned on the game and i actually thought i had turned on the team manager because it was also at six o'clock when it should be at eight o'clock yep um and dickie v V should be on the call.
And Dickie V should be on the call. UNC, they blew that game so, so bad.
And now I think, Hank, I'm ready to say it. Duke's year? I think it is Duke's year.
Let's go. Like, that was such an improv.
What Trey Jones did with that, like, you can't, you do that 100 times. The Duke doink.
You do that 100 times and it doesn't work the way it it did. You do it a thousand times, it doesn't work the way it did.

It was perfectly placed.

So many times people try to miss on purpose and they completely miss the rim or it goes

a different direction.

It bounced perfectly back to him.

He scores, not perfectly back to him, but to where he could get it.

And UNC just blew that game a million different ways.

There's an art form to missing free throws.

Is Roy Williams on his deathbed now? Yeah, probably. He's probably going to die on the sidelines.
I mean, they missed so many free throws. They weren't even boxing out.
Fundamental basketball PFT for your guy. If I'm Roy Williams, I would rather have gotten blown out by 20 points than to lose like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I bet on UNC, so no. But yeah.
This might might be an unpopular take but i didn't mind the jerseys oh the jerseys were bad when they debuted them on twitter in that no they were worse in person oh they were worse it looked like big superman logo no they look it was so bad the fact that they were like full color like it was it was kind of a color rush and they're both blue that's what was awesome. No, but it was confusing because they're both blues.
And then it did. It really looked like game managers.
It looked like the practice jerseys that they wear. I didn't mind them as much in person as I did when I first saw them.
I got used to them by halftime. It was great that they – so in classic Duke UNC fashion, that stat that we saw all week that the last 100 games, they were 50-50 and scored the exact same amount of points, and then they went to overtime.
Yep. So, so perfect.
But it was great. It was great that I love when rivalries, even when a team is down and it can still get up to the hype and be such a chaotic, crazy game, kudos to that.
And it's Duke's year. It is officially Duke's year.
is yeah and maybe gonzaga because gonzaga keeps gonzaga had their classic game where they place every year they play st mary's and everyone's like this is the one spot they could could lose this and they just fucking kick the shit out of them yeah that was gonzaga on saturday what about baylor i'm putting baylor into my uh baylor's very very good they're in my maybe pile at the number one teams in your maybe they're in my in my maybe pile right now. I like it.
Well, because once they got to number one, people were like, wow, can you believe Baylor's number one? Are they frauds? No, they're maybe. They're very good.
Alright, let's do our Who's Back. Hank, why don't you start? My Who's Back of the week is Chaz Batch.
What do you do? Charlie Batch. So yeah, you act surprised Big Cat.
You're like, why are you talking about Chaz Batch? Is he okay? He posted a video this weekend, and he said it was like him in his driveway, a bunch of snow, and he's like, wow, so excited for the snow. Snow plowing time.
Got 5 million views. What? What? Chaz Batch, so excited for the snow.
No way. Is Chaz Batch buying followers? Was there something? Holy shit, 5.38 million views.
I'm in my happy place right now. Snowboarding time.
You know what it is? I know what it is. He kind of looks like John Legend.
So John Legend might have tweet it. He said, I was speeding past this in my mentions and definitely thought it was me.
There we go. Even John Legend thought this was John Legend.
Okay, I'm happy I got that. Jeff Reed definitely looked at this and was like, yeah, that's definitely.
He really does look like John Legend. Yeah, so Chaz Batch is back.
Millions of people across the world are like, oh, forgot about Charlie Batch. It would be a real shame if Chrissy Teigen saw this and was like, hmm, I have always wanted to live in Michigan in the middle of February.
I know something else he could plow. Upgrade.
Upgrade. Damn, Chaz Batch.
Way to go, dude. Wow, Chrissy, that looks like about seven to eight inches.
Great to see him back. That needs to get plowed right there.
Matching legend. Maybe you could help out with that, Chrissy.
Chaz Batch. Wow.
He does look a little bit like Arthur the Aardvark. A little bit, yeah.
He's also, I'm looking at his Twitter now, he's doing some weird organic makeup masks. He's living his best life.
That's pretty chill. He's got two fucking Super Bowl rings.
A verbal meme. This is John Legend when he finds out that Charlie Batch is plowing Chrissy Teigen.
It's the Arthur fist. Oh, nice.
Bring that back. He looks good.
He looks in game shape. He's ready to go.
Get him in the XFL. Yeah.
Hell yeah. PFT, who do you have as your who's back? My who's back.
By the way, Hank, I like how you set that up. Like 8 million views.
And then we had to do like a treasure hunt to find out why. Electric.
My who's back of the week is beers. Yeah.
So beers are back in a huge way leave they some people ask like our beers only to be drank on one day of the week and in fact no that they're not beers can be drank any day of the week how many though infinity a zillion maybe a zillion a zillion you drink a zillion beers any day of the week very versatile and bong Korean director of Parasite, just had a clean sweep at the Oscars tonight. Won Best Picture, Best Director, a lot of other good stuff.
And he capped off every acceptance speech with, now I'm going to drink until tomorrow morning. Yes.
Which is a big power move. By the way, Parasite, if you haven't seen it, awesome movie.
Big time, well-des oscar i saw if people were upset because 1917 didn't win i actually saw all the oscar movies this year first time in forever and i did like 1917 more but parasite was just as good like it was one of those the record show one and two one and two easily what what let the record show what that's not 1917 was better but oh i did yeah yeah I saw 1917 in the theater, and I saw Parasite at Home. I thought the book was better.
Yeah. But yeah, good Oscars show.
Good Oscars. Joaquin Phoenix.
Joaquin Phoenix. Canceled milk.
When he got on stage, I immediately said, this is about to be an unusual three minutes. And he just starts talking.
And the first two minutes of his speech were, bad things are bad and collectively as humanity we should renounce them right and then i kind of tuned him out for a little bit and when i started listening he was talking about like stealing milk from a calf yep because it belongs to his mom's teeth oat milk is in oat milk so i don't milk alternatives i don't have a problem with oat milk except for the fact that once every week or so somebody tweets me a picture of the specific type of oat milk which is a person who looks exactly like me a cartoon dressed in a bird outfit and I have no idea what brand of oat milk it is but that's my only experience so it feels negative we're all in on the oat milk good Oscars show I'm sure people were upset with the length or with all the rich people. I don't know.
There's a million reasons to be mad about the Oscars. I don't know.
I just watched it because I actually saw all the movies this year, so I actually knew what was going on. Eminem was back.
That was cool. Martin Scorsese fell asleep during Eminem's set.
That was also cool. The head nodding to the Eminem performance was all time.
Oh, so awkward. Just love watching all these people dressed up and awkward.
Oh, Stephen A is doing the after show. Of course he is.
Look at that. Of course he is.
Horny Stephen A. Oh, man.
That was probably a big night for him. He's got something to say about the dresses.
Yeah, how about that one? What was the woman who came up and basically was like, last year this time was my husband's best night of his life basically just like i sucked my husband dry suck that guy down i don't know who that was but that was an awesome speech too um all right my uh my who's back is bobby knight bobby knight is back i can't believe it happened he returned to indiana I never thought he would he has said he wanted everyone who

took part in him you know getting fired from indiana to die he said that he said dan patrick show he also said bury me upside down so those losers can kiss my ass yep i don't think he understands how like would somebody if they went to the trouble to dig up your body they could just turn you over true well it would probably be just nothing there bones right but the whole upside down thing feels like he just wanted to fuck the earth yeah but he uh he did actually wish death on everyone he i think it was probably a few years ago when he was on dan patrick and he uh he said something like dan patrick was was like, yeah, so all those people, they're all long gone. Like you should go back.
Cause this has been a long time thing. Like he said that he hated Indiana.
Didn't want to go back. There was times he would rumor that he would be back, but he would never go back.
And he's like, yeah, I hope everyone there like is, is long gone and dead. And Dan Patrick was like, well, I mean not dead, dead.
And he's like, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm Bob, no I'm Bob Knight I am a surly motherfucker so I kind of respect that about a guy you'll always know where you stand with him if he's the kind of guy that will wish somebody to just be not on earth anymore to be dead also Bob Knight speaking of beers zillion beers please drink responsibly because Bob Knight's nose holy shit do you Do you see that? He's got some gin blossoms on there. It is a purple nose.
He's got a full on purple nose. So his nose was turned into the clown stripe pants.
Did you see it? I'll show you a picture. This is live PFT reaction to Bob Knight's nose because it was hard to miss.
How? Look at that. It looks like he got punched.
Oh, wow. Yeah, he did.
He got rum punched. Yeah, he got punched over and over years and years and years and years.
So good to see Bob Knight back. And it was great to celebrate his old team.
He and Isaiah Thomas hand in hand, just two good guys root for him. I love it.
Bob Knight, coach the Knicks. Yeah, do it.
I'm sure he could. Actually, that would be fucking awesome, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would be great.
Let's make it happen. Just yell at everyone and piss off everyone, maybe choke some players, say some really shitty things.
Throw some chairs around at officials. Can't be worse than the current Knicks.
Dan Dockich. Bob Knight coached the Bulls.
He should coach the Bulls. Jim Boylan is just a nicer Bob Knight.
They should get Dan Dockich to be the general manager of the Knicks, the president of the Knicks, Dan Dockich, head coach Bobby Knight. They don't speak.
Yeah, well, they don't have to. That's how the Knicks front office has been working for the last 10 years.
They hate each other. Big time beef.
This league beef. Really? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, Dockich has not talked to Bob Knight in a few years. It must be pretty bad.
Yeah, no, he said that he's talked shit about him. Like, Bob Knight has talked shit about Dockage everywhere Dockage has gone.
Is it time to ask, like, can Dockage not take hard coaching anymore? Is he millennial? Millennial Dan Dockage needs his coaches to be patting him on the head all the time. I think I'm actually supposed to go on a show tomorrow, so he's going to be so mad if he hears it.
Talk to him about this. Listen, partner.
Dan, listen. In today's day and age, I know you want everything handed to you on a silver platter, but a lot of times the coaches you learn the most from, they're the ones that coach you the hardest, son.
All right? So you want to get out there and learn? You want to learn something about the world, about being a real-life human being now? You want to listen to a guy like Bob Knight even when he says bad things about you. It's good points.
Good points. So, yeah, Bob Knight is back.
Now we can put that to bed. He strikes me as a guy who might – that might be it.
Probably. That might be a Joe Puss situation.
He came back. He did his thing.
That might be it. Or maybe we need to ask, like, what's his angle for coming back right now? Oh.
Is he trying to take the place down from the inside? I'll put it this way look under conference tables for any suitcase that bob knight may have left behind interesting interesting goes deeper okay before we get to super bowl champion chris jones a quick word from our sponsor there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites every ingredient is carefully chosen every recipe made with a purpose their oven gold turkey smoke master ham and ever roast chicken are made from premium whole cuts hand trimmed and perfectly ultimate sandwich, oven-gold turkey, cheese, pickles, and mustard. Simple, but unbelievable.
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Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at boarshead.com. Okay, here he is, Super Bowl champ, Chris Jones.
Okay, we now welcome on Super Bowl champion, Chris Jones, from the Kansas City Chiefs, soon to be a very rich man. Are you ready for that? Like, you got to be – that's coming, right? That's coming soon.
Yeah, it'll work itself out, man, you know. Money is always a good thing to have.

So, you know, but it'll work itself out. I'll try not to think about it.
I assume these guys here with you right now are your agents, right? Yeah. Okay.
So were they mad at you after the Super Bowl when you said, I want to be a chief for life? You know, their opinions on my career decision really don't matter because your agents work for you. True.
So it's completely to my decision if I want to be a Chiefs for life or not, it's not my agent. Okay.
No matter what happens, you're going to be a very happy man. Yeah, most definitely, man, especially when you have more capital than you can count on your fingers.
Yeah. That's nice.
That's a good problem to have. That's nice.
Yeah, go ahead, P.T. I was going to say, I actually thought that you could have been the Super Bowl MVP, the way that you played.
On defense, it was like you and Honey Badger were all over the place. Those deflections that you had, some of the rushes that you had, you did like some forklift move, got in Jimmy G's face, made him step up in the pocket.
Were you thinking like maybe for second, like, I might be Super Bowl MVP? No, you know, we all have those goals going into the game, you know. What do you want to achieve out of the game? And I was like, MVP.
Or, you know, I knew that was going to be pretty hard to beat when you have a quarterback of the statue that Pat has, you know, when you can come out and do those things with your arm. And, you know, offensive guys, it's hard to be the offensive guy.
They want to give it to like a receiver. At the very least, they'll give it to a receiver, you know? Yeah, you know what I mean? He hasn't been a defensive guy in a while.
Defensive guys got to be hard. Yeah, Vaughn Miller had it in Super Bowl 50.
But you did have that. I would say the two biggest plays in the Super Bowl were Patrick Mahomes, third and 15 to Tyreek Hill, and then your deflection, second and five, when it looked like the 49ers had exactly what they wanted to pass there.
They had Kittle on Suggs in the middle of the field, wide open. That changes the complexion of the rest of the game.
You get in there and you tip that ball. Were you saying to yourself in that moment, like this is my time to make some plays because it felt like the whole defensive line as you get to the fourth quarter you guys all stepped your game up at the same time yeah um you know through the course of the game um football especially that game was a momentum game um momentum was shifting up and down, you know, especially in that situation.
It was 20 to 10, I think so.

And I think so.

And our offense has just gave them the ball back.

And if they would have scored, that would have put them up, what, 17 points?

Yeah.

So we was thinking in our heads, somebody got to make a play.

And, you know, that was the perfect situation for me.

I love for those situations.

I was feeling like Jordan gained five, three seconds on the clock to go. Let's make something happen.
Love that. That's got to be a great feeling.
It is. It's like having an ongoing orgasm.
Right. Excuse me.
Yeah. Tantric.
You're like the sting. The sting, yeah.
Yeah, they run the wasp play on offense. You run the sting play on defense, which is just you're just nutting the entire second half of the game.
Where did you go? Get in there. That's a beautiful way to put it, man.
That's a beautiful way to put it. So you were just mentioning, like, if they had scored, they would have gone up 17 points.
That would have been in the fourth quarter. But ironically, you guys have played almost better throughout the playoffs with a double-digit points deficit earlier in the game.
Is that part of your defensive game plan to be like, hey, let's let them score 20 points in the first 15 minutes and then we'll come back? Oh, absolutely not. No.
Let them use all their good plays. Yeah, a lot of those have to do with, if you know the first 15 plays of a football game on the offensive side are all schemed and they're already called before the ball even snapped.
First 15 are scripted. So once you get over the first 15, depending on where you're at in the game, 14-0, 21-0, you can make adjustments.
Because after the first 15,

not an offense has got to go back to what they originally do,

and that's what you study for.

Sometimes we get to getting looks that we haven't seen all year,

and it kind of knocks you off balance.

But as long as you can withstand that foul power that they're going to send out to you,

then the rest is a cruise.

Settle this debate for us. Damian Williams, what is his nickname in the locker room? D.
Will. That's what I call him.
Yeah, most people. No one calls him Playoff Damian? Playoff Damian.
That may be a new thing. You know, he had 11 touchdowns.
Well, Joe Buck said it during the broadcast. He was like, as they call him, Playoff Damien.
And we're like, there's no way anyone calls him playoff Damien. That seems a little weird.
It's a bad nickname. Yeah.
I mean, I haven't heard it. Joe Buck may know something that I don't know.
Okay, good. So we were right.
Like we were saying, it could have been big game Dame or playoff Dame. Yeah, big game Dame.
Big game Dame is good, right? Yeah. It flows with the name, but playoff, you know, no.
All right, so we're spot on. I appreciate that.
Have you recovered from Phillip Rivers punching you? I haven't. I still see a bruise.
I'm wondering what necessary steps this league is going to take to make sure that, you know, he seeked the repercussions of punching someone. But no, I haven't recovered yet.
That was like the cutest punch ever. It was.
It was Phillip, man. He was frustrated.
So what was being said back and forth when that happened? You got to understand. I talk a lot of shit on the field.
That's the first time I ever seen Tom Brady get mad at a defensive lineman. Earlier in the year? Yeah.
Okay. When I talk shit to him.
But, no, that's part of the game, man. I feel like especially quarterbacks because they just on a hiatus.
You know, quarterback and D-line, those are two different type of class. So when y'all are able to clash up, you talk your shit.
You say how you feel to him. If you're on the ground, the ground you know you call him an old ass motherfucker or get your old ass up or you need to fucking retire and you know that hurts yeah yeah so anytime i'm able to say anything to a quarterback after i done hit him i don't even have to hit you i'll just come to you and talk talk shit but after the game it's nothing but love and respect but between those lines we're a war and whatever i can do to get under your skin whatever i can do to affect you but just don't know just understand it's not just talking shit i'm gonna hit you right you're gonna feel me i i was actually reading about the uh you called it crap talking which i actually like that crap you were crap talking brady and you getting it in his head.
Do you think you actually got in his head? I mean, I got him to say something back to me. What did he say? I'm going to leave that if I know this, undisclosed.
You know, Brady was a good guy. He cussed me out, but I loved it.
But that's the first time I seen Brady cuss D-lineman out. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
So obviously I was doing something right. If he loses his focus a little bit, you're in his head.
Exactly. He might eat a strawberry.
Yeah. You never know.
He might accidentally touch an avocado and break out in hives. Right.
I'm assuming that you said to Tom Brady, like, you old ass motherfucker retire. I mean, along those words.
Brady got up so fucking fast. That's the quickest I ever seen Brady move.
Phillip probably punched you just because he was mad that you cussed. He doesn't like that.
No foul talk. Phillip talked the most shit in the most, in the most careful way.
G-rated. You freaking sucker, you.
I'd be like, shut the fuck up, Phillip. Yeah, he says mother freaker yeah yeah mother freaky gracious to pete i hear he says that one a lot yeah so he's a he's a um he's a good guy though man he's a great guy definitely respect him over the four years we had to play that guy absolutely he's definitely a warrior but any day we was we between those lines he's an old motherfucker um so something you obviously probably don't know and actually probably a lot of people who listen to this show because we've been doing this for four years now we're number one sports podcast but you actually have something to do with the history of this show because the first show we ever did was when your dick flopped out oh so you were like literally the top the top story that we talked about the first time we ever did was when your dick flopped out of the combine so you were like literally the top the top story that we talked about the first time we ever did this show so thank you your penis might be responsible for the success of this right podcast you did it my penis is what what went through your head when that happened i mean you were just you didn't do any other drills right after that um no i didn't um The beautiful thing, I actually said it couldn't happen to anyone else.
It was perfect. I mean, it's happened to me a few times.
Like, if I had a nickel for every time my dick broke through my compression shorts when I was running, I'd be a rich man. Running like a 4.540.
It happens all the time. It's actually safe to say that you're probably the only person in the history of the combine that will ever happen to.
Oh, man. I would say that's good.
If someone asks me, that's good because it took a lot of hard work, a lot of late nights, understanding myself. Yeah.
You know what I mean? A lot of stretching. That's true.
It's actually like if that happened to me, it would be the most embarrassing moment of my life because, I mean, my penis is like a Tic Tac, but

for you, it was like, whatever, it happens.

Yeah, like, it wasn't the first time

it happened because I used to shoot

basketball

in gym shorts

and used to have the compression, and it just

busts out, you know.

Honest to God, bro. How many pairs of

compression shorts have you, you're like

Klein Sauce with a fullback with face masks

except your dick is just destroying

Under Armour. How many times does that

Thank you. to God, bro.
How many pairs of compression shorts have you, you're like Klein Sauce with a fullback with face masks except your dick is just destroying Under Armour. How many times has that happened? That happened twice, man.
It happened one time playing basketball. So it hasn't happened since.
I went and shot a jump shot. My shorts fell and my dick was hanging out.
There you go. So it hasn't happened in four years.
You're fine now. You got cleaned up.
Did any GM, like, approach you after that and say,

hey, we're moving you up our big board because of that?

I mean, I was thinking since I went balls out that, you know,

I can get a little moved up.

But they waited until the second day on me.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's – I mean, do you feel disrespected?

Considering how good you've been in the league that you weren't drafted higher,

is that a chip on your shoulder?

Yeah, most definitely, man. I feel like nothing to those guys that went ahead of me.
Obviously, they've done something that was attractive to the team, but I always had the chip on my shoulder that I was better. Not trying to discredit anyone or their work.
It's just the confidence I have in myself. Do you think that you are the best interior lineman in the NFL right now? 1 thousand percent.
One thousand percent. At this moment right now, I do feel as I'm the best.
I was looking at some stats and I saw that you not only produced at a high rate, but you get double teamed almost as much as any lineman in the game. It's like you and Aaron Donald that get all these double teams.
Do you like going up against two dudes? Do you feel like it's a sound of respect and it makes you kind of like raise your game up a little bit? You know what? Around game four this year, I was getting upset because they wasn't double teaming me enough. And I feel like a double team creates open gaps for other players on the D-line.
And I feel like if they double team me, we got good enough guys that's going to win their one-on-ones. So that actually benefits me because when guys start winning their one-on-ones, the double-team got to leave me, and then I'm able to get a one-on-one.
And I heart myself on winning one-on-ones. Interesting.
So you're saying that when you are double-teamed from the jump, it's sometimes easier because you'll never get surprise double-teamed in the middle of the play. Well, I'm not saying that I like double team, but I've embraced double team.
I don't find ways to beat double teams. I study on beating double teams more than beating one-on-ones.
Interesting. What did Andy Reid say to the team before you guys took the field? You know what? He kept it the same.
He let Tyron Matthew and Pat Mahomes do their thing. He just said, let your personality show.
Oh, I like that. Kind of like a Gordon Bombay.
Go out and have fun. That's 1,000% what he preaches.
Let your personality show and have fun. Did Mahomes, we've had him on the show.
Did he pump everyone up? Did he get everyone real pumped up? Yeah, Mahomes, he does his thing, but there's nothing like a defensive guy cranking up the defense. Nothing against the offensive guy, but offensive guys lead in a different way because they're about scoring.
We're about attacking. So scoring is attacking.
It's kind of the same thing, but it's a different mindset. You know what I mean? That's much aggression coming out.
Yeah. Well, through all the people we've talked to, guys in the NFL, they've always said, like even off air, that D-line players are the craziest players on the field.
1,000%. We got some fucking characters on our team.
They always say that room is like, that's the room you don't want to go into. We got my brother, Frank Clark, who is an animal, but he's definitely different.
We got Mike Pennell, who is fucking, I don't even know where they got this guy from, but he's amazing. You know, we got Death Row, Jeff Row.
he's signed with Suge Knight, Jeffro Records. Yeah, we got some characters on the team, man.
I hate it for my position coach, but he kind of figured out how to combine everyone and make us all better. Do you do a Patrick Mahomes impression? See, I don't do that, man, because that's my QB.
You can't fuck up that connection between you and a QB. Tyreek did it.
I didn't think his was that good, by the way. But I'm just saying, you see how only Tyreek got the ball like once or twice.
Oh, good point. That's a great point.
Listen, when a quarterback is throwing you the ball and you're talking shit about him, you think he ain't going back. Okay.
Yeah. We're going to see how many times you get the ball.
That's why we don't do that on this show. We never do that.
Because we want to make sure that that relationship is still good. Pat has gave me a pair of those fucking goggles.
Yes. So I'm not trying to fuck up the relationship between me and Pat.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Did you do a beer luge?

You know I did, dog.

You know I did.

Listen, something about the parade, it went crazy in Kansas City.

I think they're still going crazy.

It was like 30 degrees.

I started too early.

I got on a bus.

I had the Ace of Spades with me.

Ace of Spades just a thorn of champagne everywhere.

I brought like three bottles. They gave me a bottle also.
And I had the Ace of Spades with me. Ace of Spades just to throw the champagne everywhere.
I brought like three bottles.

They gave me a bottle also.

So, and I had the Patron, just for those who love tequila.

And you know I had the Brown.

I had the Gentleman Jacks.

I had the Crown Apple.

A little bit of everything.

Extreme Rare.

And then you had to do Stone Cold. And then, you know, they had the Bud Light on the bus, so I didn't even have to move.
So I get on the bus. My girlfriend was like, just calm down, you know.
Let's just take it easy. My teammates, they're like, Chris, let's not start early.
I know you're excited. So I'm like giving the fans the feed.
Fuck yeah, let's go. So I grabbed both of the bottles.
And one particular fan had two bottles. And it was a she.
She clocked them together and did it. And I'm like, oh, no, you're not outdoing me.
So I grabbed two bottles, clocked them together. Boom, boom, boom.
So that was like before the bus even moved. You're still getting on the bus.
Five minutes later, I started feeling a little woozy because I done did this like eight or nine times. So I'm like, shit, let me sit down.
But that's a good day to do it. 16 beers.
How often do you win a Super Bowl? That's what I was telling people. Listen, we had the owner there, the corporate, the president.
And I told them, listen, man, if y'all looking at me from a business standpoint, please don't right now. You know what I mean? You take one day off.
Because today is not the day. You know, you're going to see some shit that you never probably ever see again out of Chris.

Unless we get right here again last year.

Did they have a bathroom on the bus?

Oh, no.

Let me tell you the crazy thing we had to do.

We had to get off the bus, run to a porta potty, finish, run back to the bus.

You know, and I was just like, fuck it.

I got me a corner in the back of the bus.

Used the bottle and just did my thing. I'm like, man, it was crazy, though, man.
Ten minutes on the bus, I was about passed out. My girlfriend woke me up when we got to our destination.
They put me in the corner. I fell asleep for like 45, 50 minutes.
They woke me up. We went on stage, went crazy.
Travis Kelsey said the most amazing speech ever.

Oh, it was good.

Oh, that was amazing.

It was good.

Well, he had to try to one-up his brother because his brother set the bar pretty high in Philadelphia.

Oh, yeah.

His brother did it.

But Travis' outfit was off the chain, too.

Yeah, it was.

Oh, man.

Damn.

That sounds like the best time ever.

Oh, bro, it was.

Yeah, what about the Super Bowl?

Oh, my dog.

I got to win it again.

It feels like an ongoing orgasm. It's just keep having it, bro.
You got to win it again and maybe don't drink as much right away. That's my thing.
That's my thing. I challenged myself.
As soon as we won the Super Bowl, I was like, I'm going to see how many days I can just go hard all in. And shit, I finally fell asleep last night watching film.
I was watching the game. Fell asleep.
I'm like, fuck this ain't it so today i'm i got me two shots of espresso i'm on the road right now because i saw on february 6th that was uh yesterday you said winners don't sleep we hashtag hashtag no sleep yeah but then you fell asleep right after you sent that some would say that that's a fraud move on your part No,, this is mean. Me meaning winners don't sleep.
We don't get eight hours of sleep. That's on a normal day, whether I'm having fun or partying or not.
The most I sleep is like five and a half to six hours. Do you always do hashtag rise and grind? Or do an Instagram video from the gym? No, I do punching in the clock.
I put their boxing gloves in, punching in the clock.

You have to let everybody know that you're working out.

Yeah.

As early as possible.

Then you roll over and go back to sleep.

Yeah.

That's the move.

That'll be contradicting, man.

Yeah, that's the way to do it.

That's the way to do it.

All right, I got one last question.

It's a SeatGeek question.

Promo code TAKE.

You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.

So every time you guys went down, you went down in every single game, double digits I would tweet thanks for coming out Chiefs basically being like you guys are toast Patrick Mahomes then would go and like that tweet right after the game sometimes I think in the locker room do you think I deserve maybe a little bit of your Super Bowl bonus for always doubting you guys and being the worst gambler slash jinxer of all time? Oh, shit. I didn't know you was doing that.
Why? You probably, for a moment, you were like, it feels like there's a higher power helping us here. I did.
That was me. I did.
That was me being terrible at gambling. I felt that energy, man.
Yeah. Because when I walked in, I'm like, oh, shit, I feel the vibes.
Yes. Who is this high-powered motherfucker? It was me.
Oh, my God. But you know what? You know, we needed y'all, man.
A lot of people doubted us, man. Me.
Yes. Shannon Sharp fucking, oh, yeah, I'm going with my boy, my homies.
We get to the Super Bowl. He's talking about, I'm going with Guarulophalo.
That's fake love right there. You know what I mean? Out of our respect, I do respect Shannon, but that's just fake love.
You're going to roll with us, roll until the wheels fall off. That's what I did.
Big Cat and Shannon Sharp, public enemy number one. Totally took the Titans in the AFC Championship game.
You took a future on them and everything. He's lying.
If you remember what I said, I bet on the Titans

and gets to spread.

Yeah, right.

And also a future on them

to win the Super Bowl.

I had a future on them

to win the Super Bowl.

So yes, he did.

He's completely lying.

You bet it was a tie.

Raven's future

to win the Super Bowl.

No, I didn't.

Not really.

So yeah, this is crazy.

He's making that up.

He's making that up.

I was never a doubter.

See that jersey behind you?

Anthony Sherman?

That's our guy.

He sent us a beer luge video. I would never doubt you guys.
See that jersey behind you, Anthony Sherman? That's our guy. He sent us a beer luge video.

I would never doubt you guys.

Oh, man.

Sherman, he went crazy, too.

Everybody went crazy.

But damn, I didn't know y'all was doubting us like that, man.

My question is, y'all didn't think we was going to win a championship

after we broadcasted what we had last year?

We only got better.

I never doubted.

I said in November, this is when Andy Reid goes on a run.

I said it.

I mean, but.

No, he didn't.

Check the timestamps.

I don doubted. I said in November, this is when Andy Reid goes on a run.

I said it.

I mean, but. No, he didn't.

Check the timestamps.

I said it.

He's making something up now.

No, remember because you were like a physical run?

And I was like, no, not a physical run.

No, I thought you guys were always a good team.

I mean, there was other good teams too, but you guys were the best.

But my thing is, we was good with injuries.

Yeah, for sure.

Pat Mahone missed a couple games, we still won. Absolutely.
I missed a couple games. We still prevailed.
So y'all didn't think when everyone got healthy that we was going to be better? No, I mean, you guys were Super Bowl champs. We haven't lost a game when everyone's healthy.
That's true. Wait.
Yeah, that's true. That is true.
Yeah, we didn't lose the game.

What was the last game you guys lost?

To the Titans?

Yeah, Titans.

Yeah, that was a weird game.

That was a very weird game.

Frank Clark was hurt.

Yeah.

He only played 16 plays.

So you can just, oh, only 16?

So he wasn't hurt.

He was hurt enough to, you know.

He was hurt, not injured.

He was hurt, man.

He wasn't 100.

Yeah.

Got it.

My last question, how long after the Super Bowl did it take for Andy Reid to put on shorts? I don't know. He probably walked there to buzz in shorts.
Andy ain't no suit type of guy. No.
Only on certain occasions. He's more so of the...
He's a casual guy. Casual male.
You know what? He loved the button-ups, the short sleeve though though. Yeah.
The button-up. You know, let his chest hair stick out.
Mm-hmm. Pokey in the eye sometimes.
Did you guys stay in Miami on Monday night? We left Monday. Oh, you left Monday.
I thought maybe you had partied Monday night in Miami. That would have been fun.
Oh, no, man. I had to take this team playing back so I can get back to this parade.
Yeah. I mean, it seemed like a pretty damn good time.
All right, well, Chris Jones, thank you so much for stopping by. Good luck with the contract.
I mean, you're going to get paid, so that's fucking awesome. Congratulations on the contract.
Let's say it that way. You're one of the best players in the NFL, so you deserve it.
And you're Super Bowl champ. Man, I appreciate it, man.
I still haven't said it in yet, but I'm still trying to embrace it. Fuck, we're Super Bowl champions.
Maybe I can sleep for more than like eight hours. He's still orgasming right now.
Yeah, it still happens. When you stop coming, then it'll set in.
Thanks, man. Post-nut clarity.
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Okay, we now welcome on one of our best friends, recurring guest, Josh Allen. One of? One of our best friends.
Not the best friend? It's like you, Blake, Jared.

I make the top friends page.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're in our T-Mobile five.

What are the five that you can call for free?

I was saying MySpace.

Okay.

It's you and Tom, the guy in the white shirt that's writing on the whiteboard.

You're in the top five.

So it's great to have you on.

We have a lot to discuss.

And I think the most important thing we need to discuss, that lateral. Yeah.
What were you doing? It was, I actually stood up out of my couch. I was like, no, what? And was screaming.
It was kind of an awesome moment. Kind of a fuck it, let's just do it moment.
But yeah, that was crazy, huh? Yeah. I tried to channel my inner Reggie Bush there.
Yes, I said that. I was like, it's a Reggie Bush moment.
No, it wasn't my finest moment, but I kind of just saw him. If I would have given a good little pitch, Dawson might have been able to go.
Yeah, I actually thought it was a good idea. I think that more teams should do downfield laterals.
It happens in rugby all the time. And if you can hit somebody in stride, it's usually a touchdown.
So I admired you for that. I'm with you.
I'm on your side. I'm on your side.
I don't want Big Cat to talk you out of trying another lateral in the future. I can't promise I'm not going to do it, but I don't plan on it.
I was cool. It could happen.
Something happened in that game where it was just chaos everywhere. And the lateral was part of that.
And it was just like, what's going on right now? I appreciate whenever an athlete's like, fuck it. Let's just do it.
Let's just try this. Trying to make a play.
Right. Was Coach pretty mad at you after? Not really.
Oh, okay. After the game, obviously, we were all pretty disappointed.
It wasn't like a, that was your fault. Right.
But a pretty awesome season overall. Like, that was a, I know it's always, you know, you get to the playoffs, you lose in the playoffs, you can't say it's a success, but it was a success for Buffalo because you guys are building something.
Walking away from that, were you able to, like, a week or two later, be like, hey, you know what? Like, that was a pretty awesome season. You know, to kind of sit back and reflect and to realize how young our team is and to get to 10 wins and how we did it, there is a lot of room to improve.
And that's the good part for us, that we did have this type of season and we've still got a lot of improvement to make, a lot of places we can grow. And obviously with our offseason coming up and with our front office, they've been fantastic and bringing in the right guys in our locker room is pretty good right now.
And, you know, I got a lot of guys in there that I'd kill for. You'd murder for them.
Potentially. I like that.
In a certain situation. What type of murder? Like, we're talking bare hands? Defense.
Self-defense, yes. You would murder for them.
You're a good leader. They're on the leader.
Devin Singletary has been tied up on a train track. You'd murder the train.
I'd stop the train. You'd stop the train before it hit him.
I like that. Frank Gore is locked in a room, and the oxygen is being slowly sucked out of the room.
The only way you can get into that room, the only key is embedded inside Tom Brady's heart,

and you have to stab him and cut the key out to get it.

Do you kill him?

I love Frank Gore.

Would you murder Tom Brady?

I love Frank Gore.

Frank Gore is one of the coolest human beings.

He's the man.

He gave me a signed 49ers jersey for Christmas

because I grew up a huge 49ers fan. I grew up having his jerseys and wearing them and going to the games and having 21 on my chest.
It was cool. Are you going to root for the Niners on Sunday? We'll probably run this after the Super Bowl.
But it's kind of weird because now you're obviously in the NFL. So are you going to sit there and be like, kind of hope the Niners win? I mean.
Or is it AFC pride? Well, I'd rather, don't you want the AFC not to win? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like to just pretend it's like college football. Because they're closer of a rival than the Niners would be.
Plus, people are always like, oh, Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen have the biggest arms in the league, so you don't want them taking that crown. Yeah.
Okay. See room for the Niners.
Yeah, I'll say room for the Niners. But I don't know.
I've got some different ideas of what the game could happen and what could go. It could go either way.
Right. It really can.
Going down the stretch this season, I noticed something like a little bit different about your play. You've always been a good runner, but you started to run a little bit more physically, where it looked like you were enjoying the contact sometimes.
I think it was a Patriots game, that night game. You were running into people and popping up and jawing on a little bit.
Do you like getting hit? I didn't start off that game great. I think I started 0-3 or something like that, and I need one.
I need one to get me going. I do.
So, yeah. And I need a little bit of contact to get myself pumped up.
Human body craves contact. Yeah.
Coach Harbaugh taught us that. Swear to God.
It's true. You feel better.
I'm a big Harbaugh guy. Yeah.
Big Harbaugh. You are? Oh, yeah.
Like I said, I was for the 49ers. Niners, yep.
I was there and brought them to prominence. He seemed like a guy that players wanted to play for.
Yes, absolutely. Here's a good question.
Your coach famously took the ping pong table out of the locker room. The pool table.
The pool table, sorry. Ping pong table still there.
Oh, thank God. I thought he took both out.
As long as I've been there, it's been right in front of my locker.

Okay, so was he the coach of the team for one year before you?

Correct.

All right, so I think what he did, if I remember my pro football talk correctly,

I think he took both of those out,

and then it sounds like he reintroduced the ping pong table to foster camaraderie.

Was that something that you think actually helps your team,

being able to play ping pong?

Because I'm a big believer whenever a coach comes in and he's like,

I'm going to clean up this locker room real quick.

We're taking the pool table out. Was there a question in there? No, I don't think so.
I don't know. It's 3 o'clock on Friday.
I didn't even notice there wasn't a question. I on.
Wait, that wasn't a go on? My question is, how much do you wish the ping pong table and the pool table were both back in the locker room? I wish the pool table was in there. How good are you at ping pong? I'm pretty good.
But I'm not top dog in our locker room. Who is? Matt Barkley.
Okay. Or Stephen Housha.
Oh. And these guys, but they take lessons.
Kickers have time. They take lessons, Matt.
You take lessons, Matt. Let's be honest.
You take lessons. I don't know if I can look.
Yeah, Hank does. Oh, you're looking at Matt right now.
They have their own, one, their own ping pong paddles, which are $200, $300. Okay, that's bullshit.
Yeah, that's bullshit. They have covers for their ping pong paddles, and then they have foam that goes on their paddles.
They're in a different world. I get the crappy ping pong paddles in the locker room, and I'll play well.
We got a ping pong table in the office. I'm also a kicker, and I also bought a $250 paddle.
You are a kicker. Congrats on that.
You did? Yeah. If you lose, that's so embarrassing.
I know, but it's just crazy how he just absolutely nailed kickers right there. Yeah, damn.
We're fucking nerds. Yeah.
You actually bought the $250 paddle? Yeah. Just because you thought it would give you an edge? Well, me and Jeff went halvesies on it.
Oh, my God. That's even worse.
That's way worse. No, but then they sent him one because they saw that we bought one.
Yeah. So now I've got my own.
That's worse that you were going to share a ping pong paddle. In retrospect, you shouldn't share another man's paddles.
Right. What happens when you play each other? Well, he's got his own now.
What would have happened? We had a handshake agreement. When we played each other, we would use the regular paddles.
So neither one of us would use a good one. I don't know what to believe anymore.
You're getting verified. You're buying fucking ping pong panels.
What is going on? I've changed, man. What is going on? I've changed.
I'm corporate. Damn.
It's corporate. If you lose, that's embarrassing for the whole brand.
I'm part of that. My brand is losing.
I think it actually helps. But when you try and you lose, that's really when it's bad.
Yeah. Are we still doing an interview right now? Yeah, we are.
You have a glow up. You're looking pretty good.
I'm looking good? Yeah. What have you bought? Tell us.
What do you mean? Purchases. Anything.
Car. House.
Clothes. List them.
Bought this the other day. This is our portion called The IRS Is Coming For You.
Bought this the other day. Nordstrom Rack.
Okay. That's nice.
That's a nice Miami jacket.

It's like a little understated,

but a nod to the culture. Not too much.

Not too much, right?

I'm not like the too much guy.

Right, right.

You got the shirt underneath.

How much was the shirt?

Like a $78 shirt.

Okay, not bad.

Just a plain white.

That's the thing.

You obviously are in good shape.

You're a tall guy.

You're a handsome guy.

You can wear anything and look good. I don't know about anything.
I'm getting a little tired. So have you bought a house or a car or anything? I bought a house in Buffalo.
Okay. Love that.
Bill's Mafia loves that. Yep.
The car I bought, I bought a Range Rover. That was kind of like my dream car growing up.
And then I now have a Ford Raptor Baja. Hell yeah.
Shelby edition. How does it do in the snow? Fantastic.
It is great. You ever open it up on the highway? No.
No. Definitely not.
No. No.
That thing can move. It moves.
It moves really well. It beats the Range Rover off the block.
And I got the Sport and it's's dynamic, and it's supposed to be super fast. Oh, you got the Sport? Yeah.
It's like, what, 130? No, not that much. Damn.
Not that much. Yeah.
Now in the Sports, you get the upgrade. Where do you guys drive? I don't drive.
How about we interview you? Mazda CX-5. It's a compact SUV, very affordable.
Do you even drive in New York, though? It's the biggest Mazda C car ever. I don't have a car.
I bought a pair of those isometric shoes that you put on. So that's how I get around mostly.
It works the calves out a lot. It's important to me as a kicker and t-ponk player.
Keep you on your toes the entire time. Yeah, exactly.
The Mazda CX-5, they say it's an SUV, but really you can only fit a baby and a small dog in it. They're like, oh, yeah, it's for family.
Do you have any babies? I have a baby now. And a small dog.
And a small dog. There you go.
That's all you need. It's the perfect car.
Yeah. But, yeah, everyone looks at me, and they're like, dude, you couldn't get a real SUV? And I'm just like, no, man.
It's affordable. I'm trying to save the planet.
Of course. Good gas mileage on the highway.
Yeah, exactly. Paper straws.
Have you? No. Paper straws.
Both paper straws. That's what they do in California.
The people in Buffalo are not happy with you with that. I'm not a fan of them, but they give you paper straws with plastic cups.
Right. It's just like the duality of man.
It doesn't make sense. Yeah.
Have you picked a wing spot? Yeah. Which one? Barbell Tavern.
Okay. Good place.
Have you tried that? Yeah.

The beef on wet there is good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What kind of wings did you guys have?

We had a nice little spread.

Hot?

It was whatever.

The hot are super hot.

So maybe not the hot.

I think Eric Wood ordered for us, right?

Honey butter barbecue?

Yes.

Cajun?

Yes.

Those are good.

We had them all.

That one and Gabriel's Gate.

Those are our two favorites.

I have not tried Gabriel's Gate yet.

Because you live in the...

I live in the bush park.

Right, right. Do you have a mug at Barville? I do.
Are you an alcoholic? No. Sounds like you drink a lot.
Wait, how often do you go there? Do you get recognized every time you go there, obviously? Yeah, yeah. And do people hassle you, or are they cool about it? No, Buffalo people are cool, man.
They're the best. They'll come up.
They'll last for a picture, and they'll be on their way. I sat down one time.
They brought my mug over to me, and there was like 20 bucks in there from some fan. Because you beat the Cowboys.
I guess so. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, Bill's Mafia, Buffalo people are like the best people on earth.
They really are. The nicest people.
So that doesn't surprise you that no one's bothering you. What was your favorite win this year? The Cowboy game was pretty fun.
It being Thanksgiving and growing up watching that game. I had 30-plus people from back home there, so that one was pretty sweet.
The Pittsburgh night game, that was a very cool atmosphere to go in there. Sunday night football was the first time the Bills had been on it since 2007, I believe.
Yep. To go out there and win and clinch a playoff spot that night and to get home.
Bills Mafia was there at 2 o'clock in the morning, 30-degree weather. Waiting at the airport? Yeah, it was awesome.
That's cool. I felt like John Lennon getting out of the plane.
Now I was the last one out, and I looked out. Hopefully they're not as big of crazy fans as that John Lennon fan was.
That would be bad. True.
But in that game, I think the Steelers tried to play double Renegade on you, right? They played Renegade twice to get their fans amped up.

Did they really?

Yeah.

I heard some story that maybe your coaches played Renegade during practice. We played it all throughout practice, yeah.

That's awesome.

So when it came on, Dave will tell me after the game,

he's like, I didn't tell anybody as soon as that play

or they turned that song on, I was going to go deep.

So that was the play we called, and John Brown went up and got one.

Yes.

So Pittsburgh called that play for you. By trying to beat you, they beat themselves.
Correct. Big brain.
That's crazy. Big brain.
Yes. Are you worried a little bit about the hype train in the offseason? Which hype train? Bills.
The one that we're about. The narrative that me and Big Cat are going to be creating.
Super Bowl. New website.
Yeah, Super Bowl. I'm not.
No, I'm not worried about that. Okay.
We understand what we've got to do. Good answer.
Alright, my last question. Seeky question.
Promo code take. $10 off.
Go to Bill's game next year. How often do people come up and mention the website? Not so much in Buffalo.
Okay. Anywhere else.
Because they've drafted you. Yes.
So they don't have to talk about it anymore. And they have the draft.
We drafted Josh Allen. Right.
That's right. That domain.
Someone stole that from us, right? I think it was the bills. Oh, yeah, the bills.
We drafted Josh Allen. You should sue them.
Sue the bills? Yeah. And I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but we also bought the domain.
We drafted Josh Allen again just in case we took him at 9 to 10. That would have been awesome.
God damn it. That would have been wild.
That's a good behind-the-scenes scoop, though. That is a huge scoop.
Don't kill me, Kevin. That's the shit that we lived for.
All right, so people still bring it up, though, when you're out around? Especially, so I went to Scottsdale, played in the Waste Management the other day. And when you get a bunch of college kids out there, they know Barstool.
They listen to his podcast, and that's all they talk about. Josh, big hands.
I did see you at that tournament. You tried to throw a guy through a table, but then it didn't really work, and you had to manipulate the legs of the table.
Wasn't my plan? Wasn't my idea? Yeah. If it was up to me, I would have really thrown him.
They were trying to do it as a little gag and set it up. And it was a wooden table.
It wasn't the greatest performance. Your heart wasn't in it.
I didn't want to hurt the guy. Right.
Yeah, you got a big arm. That's true.
Yeah. It is.
Rocket arm. Rocket arm.
Wait, how far do you think you could throw it for real?

Have we asked you this?

Yeah.

Yeah.

80-ish.

80-ish.

Did you make it out of the stadium?

Because I know that I saw you cock back, and after you scored a touchdown this year,

you tried to throw it out of the stadium.

Oh, almost.

I was like four or five rows to go.

Holy shit.

It was up there.

That's amazing.

In my mind, I was supposed to go probably 10 yards further and throw it from the edge of the turf. Right.
But I was so pumped up. I threw it right at the end of the end zone.
Yeah. The edge of the end zone.
It got up there, but I got a nice little fine from it. Damn.
Yeah, that's worth it. If you throw it out of the field, that's going to be a legendary moment.
Yeah. You should do that every single touchdown that you run for.
Every single one? Yes. We'll pay your fine.
On the nine touchdowns. No.
No going to do it, dude. You heard it.
Everybody in here heard it. You're going to pay it.
Alright. I'm doing it every touchdown.
I'm not paying for your fine. Alright, so best of luck next year.
If you guys get to a home playoff game, we will be in attendance. We'll probably have to stay at your house.
Okay. I'm going to get control of the Raptor for the afternoon.
If the Bills have a home playoff game next year, we will be there. I got bubble hockey down in the basement.
Perfect. Listen, we're easy.
You give us some sleeping bags in the basement, we won't even be there. You won't even know we're there.
No. There's a story.
The nicest room is in the basement. It's a dark room, comfy bed, no windows right and it's cold alright so we'll all share that bed and you won't even know we're there perfect right and we'll stay there for as long as we want well as long as the playoffs well as long as you guys pay my fines you know scratch my back I'll scratch your yeah I was lying is the thing about that he crossed his fingers I'm a big liar.
You just don't take anything that I say to be the truth. So I already said psych, so I don't know why I'm even still defending myself.
I think I was clear about that. He needs his money for his ping pong paddle.
Nice new era hat, by the way. It's a cool new era.
Thank you. Huge.
Yeah, new era. Appreciate it.
New era. Josh Allen, thank you, as always.
Good friend. Thank you.
Best friends. Let's go, Buffalo.
Let's go. I fucking that song.
Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. He's awesome.
Actually say that right into the camera. ASMR style? Yeah, nobody circles the wagons.
Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Sit up on the back of my neck.
When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay, let's get some segments.
First up, we have Way to Stay Relevant Baseball. You basically created a trade, hijacked everyone's attention with Mookie Betts trade to the Dodgers, and then spent the last week saying it's not official until now it's official.
Yeah, it's actually great what they've done. So they took, what, five days of media coverage on this? Yes.
They dropped it. They broke Hank's brother's heart and Hank's brother's dog's heart.
And then there was maybe some hope. And then, boom, it closed.
It's kind of been like, is it Schrodinger's arrow? The arrow that never arrives at its destination? That's what this trade felt like. If I followed this correctly, though, it's actually not the fault of any of the teams, right? Like, the reporters reported it too early and the teams never even told the players like, hey, this is what's going on.
So if anything, this is a put one in his ear hole to journalism. Why don't you wait until we're ready for the trade to actually happen before you start announcing it? Because think about it.
Like David Price probably had to look at private schools in L.A. for his kids.
I don't even know if he has kids. He's not clutch enough to get a girlfriend.
That was stressful as hell. And these people that have hundreds of millions of dollars and might have to move to L.A., which would be awesome, they probably went through stress the last few days.
It was tough for them for sure. Yeah.
But it's also been a great weekend for the people in Ken Rosenthal's mentions and John

Heyman's mentions.

These are my new favorite reply guys.

The ones that just reply with announce so-and-so.

Yes.

Like announce whatever trade that they want to see happen.

Yes.

Like John Heyman is waiting behind a curtain getting ready for it to just open so he can

finally let people know that your favorite player is coming to your favorite team right now. It would be great if they actually held back and waited for just one random person to, you know, like Seamhead69 tweets Jeff Passan like the 700th time on a Saturday, announced the trade, and finally he's like, you know what, I'm going to give it to him.
I'll announce this trade to him. Here you go, Seamhead69.
You asked for it. You got it, buddy.
It's delivered. Rookie Betts ists is going to be a dodger again so hank now that you've had five days or however many days it's been to let this all process uh any any change in heart no i mean i was very hopeful that like when i saw that there was reports that the physical was failed he might be coming back i was thinking that they were going to like the trade was going to fail and the red sox were were gonna have had buyers or like sellers remorse and then actually give him the contract that he wanted so i had that in my head for a few days and now it's just like back to square one it also didn't help that our friend jared karabas who has a great uh podcast starting nine also a red sox podcast section 10 i knew that i was getting it's a phoenix sunday podcast well i was thinking section 8, and they're like, no, that's section 8 housing.
So section 10, I got it. So section 10, but he kept on doing the, like, would be a real shame, and Jared's one of those guys who's in the know, but he doesn't break news, so he just lets you know that he knows, but doesn't tell you that he knows.
He lets you know that something is happening that you should want to know about, that he knows that he will not share. And it was the perfect story that I didn't really care about this, but I saw peripherally, like I would see Jared every few hours, be like, would be a real shame.
It's not official yet. And I'm like, but I'm not actually following it closely because I don't care.
So then I'm just in my head. I'm like, wait, is this trade just never happening? Here's something that we can all get one of the players that they one of the youngsters involved in this trade is named jeter yes so the red sox got a player and there's a guy that we have to disavow right uh-oh alex vertigo yeah we disavow him disavow vertigo yeah i'm just team equilibrium yeah is the red sox now why are we disavowing him we're just i think he's got another thing that i have not been following i've been very peripheral on this.
It's college basketball season and XFL started, so it was on the last of my worries. But I think there was something with a Snapchat video, maybe revenge porn.
Wrong place, wrong time, but he might have. We're just going to go ahead and disavow.
Okay, I'm just going to get ahead of this. We're just going to do a blanket disavow.
Listen, as a big Red Sox fan and a big New England sports do-pod guy, I'm all about Jeter. Let's go Jeter.
That's my guy. Yeah, so we've disavowed.
We're clean on that one. But, yeah, the whole thing, I mean, only baseball.
Only baseball would have a blockbuster trade that didn't happen for five days and all of a sudden, like, what the hell is going on? Oh, yeah, I forgot. You know what it felt like? I'll actually even think I won't really notice it until Mookie Betts puts on a Dodgers uniform.
I'll be like, oh, yeah, that did happen. Right.
It felt like that old Pelicans trade out to the Lakers when it was going to be what? Like Chris Paul and some blockbuster trade. When David Stern put the kibosh on it.
Yeah. It felt like that's what was happening again.
Because he had already given him Pau Gasol. Right.
He had already put his finger on the scale that way. I don't think that baseball's commissioners are competent enough to actually be able to accurately manage a trade that would be a disadvantage to one of their premier franchises.
Right. I think they would find out a way to screw that up if they tried to meddle with it.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Okay. So that's that trade.
Hopefully that's the end of that. Although I'm sure it's not.
I'm sure we'll get more news. Next up, we have Shoe Roast, Russell Wilson's photo shoot.
Yeah, let's roast him a little bit. Now, Russell Wilson, I love him as a player.
He is a goober. He's a goober.
Well, he's a dad. He's a goober.
Russell Wilson is a dorky dad. But he was a dad before he was a dad.
Of course, yes. He was born a dad.
He came out of his mom's vagina wearing New Balances and acid-washed jeans with cuffs on them. Yeah, he's a dweeb.
Every two months or three months, he'll have a picture that comes out where he's just trying to do a glow-up for the afternoon. I think sometimes Ciara's like, hey, by the way, how do you say your name? Ciara? You got it.
Ciara Nevada? Ciara Mist? Ciara will be like, hey, why don't you put on a pair of pants that doesn't have an elastic waistband and let's do a photo shoot. And this was an all-time photo shoot.
Yeah. I'm looking at it right now.
It has some A-Rod kissing the mirror vibes going on. Yeah.
Any photo shoot really is kind of awkward. It just like, you know what I mean? When you do a photo shoot, no matter what, it's a little weird.
And guys with curly hair that straighten it out. Like when PFT has done it a couple times, it's just super strange.
It definitely, yeah, it gives you like the willies. Right, right.
No, that's a good point, Hank. Like my hair is very similar to Russell Wilson's.
And when you straight, he looked like he was, stay woke. Isn't Coming to America 2 coming out? This might viral advertisement for soul glow he no he but he almost looked like he could be he could be in like boy meets world it had a sean what was that guy's last name sean whatever slater no yeah sean young sean yeah not sean matthews oh no sean matthews boy matthews sean fuck it does have a little boy meets world vibe It's got a little...
Hunter. Sean Hunter.
I didn't look it up. He looks like a baby caterpillar.
Those fuzzy baby caterpillars dipped in Vaseline. How many baby caterpillars are you coming across? You've seen those fuzzy caterpillars, right? The ones that have all the fluff on them? I know what you're talking about.
I just don't know the last time I encountered one. Well, I live in New York, so...'m trying to think.
We don't get to see any wildlife whatsoever. That would be like a day at the zoo if I saw a caterpillar.
Yeah. No, it seriously is.
Actually, when you break it down, that's way more off-putting than Russell Wilson's haircut. The fact that when you just mentioned baby caterpillar, obviously I know what you're talking about, and I've seen him.
And you miss baby caterpillars. Well, no, I just miss seeing anything besides rats and pigeons.
Right. And occasionally, like a...
A cockroach is like, whoa. Yeah, it's a big day.
Saw a cockroach. You put on your khaki pants and vest, and you're like, cronky.
Look at this bloody bugger. What's the coolest animal you see in New York City? Probably a diseased fish.
Probably a... A diseased fish that got plucked out of the water by a bird and then dropped or like people with luxury dogs like super rich people that have those crazy i was yeah i was a french bulldog with like a fendi vest on i was they look like it looks like a broom yeah a mop i was walking along the east river on saturday and there's little kid was walking with his mom and he was like do you think like it's low tide do you think we see? And I couldn't fully hear what he said.
And I was like, oh, my God. Is there some kind of animal I'm missing on the East River? And I turned around.
And he asked again. He's like, do you think we're going to get to see the tires? And I was like, Jesus Christ.
That's really what we're like. This is New York City.
Low tide. Hey, let's go down, Mom.
East River. We're going to get to see the tires because it's low tide.
That's New York. I don't know how we got here but it needed to be said we're discussing new york wildlife i think that we should do a show about new york wildlife i mean we're just we kind of did when we went you know what we need to do the larry's picks with uh the rats we need to figure out what part of town has the biggest rats because i'm sure that there are different types of rats in different neighborhoods because there are colonies right so they're all assume...
So they're all inbred in certain colonies, and then they probably get bigger the more outside of the downtown area you get. I would say closer to the electric plants.
Yes. They probably get bigger.
The ones where their eyes glow. Yeah, right.
Yeah, they're real cool rats. They just get huge.
So anyways, Russell Wilson looked like he was in a Prince music video for Monster Mash. Russell Wilson looked like an animal we haven't seen in four years because we live in this hellhole of New York City.
Yes. All right, last up, we have ass-eating season for Phil Fulmer.
He's about to eat all of his opponents' asses because Tennessee's back. Now, why did he say Tennessee was back? Did they get a recruit? Here's the quote.
The Vols are back, and before long, we'll be taking a bite out of everybody we play his ass. Feels like 98.
It's a very southern way to say I'm going to lick someone's butthole, like putting so many different words in between the subject and the noun of a sentence. Yes.
You're like, we're the team who loses to Division 1 AA-ass squads and probably will lose to Vanderbilt again next year, and our ass is clean. I need to know, Tennessee is one of those programs that every three or four years they'll just declare that they're back, and it's like, no, you're not even close to back.
It's even less back than Texas is back. Texas we joke about, but every now and then Texas will put together a team where in September you could at least give yourself the idea that they might be back.
Tennessee is like, no, we're not even joking here. Nebraska can be kind of back at some points.
With Tennessee, it's kind of cute, though. They're like, oh, we're back.
98 feels like 98. That's really sweet.
Yeah, you're right. Tennessee will never be back, but're not, like, threatened by Tennessee saying we're No, I love burnt orange.
There's one guy in my Twitter mentions all the time who's a Tennessee and Clemson fan. Be careful with that.
And it's pretty funny. When you get into the Pantone life, like, you're dancing on the edge of that.
If you say burnt orange, yeah, you're going to get rightfully roasted. Peach orange.
It's like volunteer orange. Who the fuck cares? Now, I'll say this.
It does imply the color orange that Tennessee has, for some reason, implies a clean ass to me. Yes.
When I see someone wearing that color, I'm like, they probably wiped really well. Yeah, it's a nice color.
It pops. Rocky Top, very catchy song.
Rocky Top is a very catchy song. Absolutely.
I want... The end zones are awesome.
Really cool. Checkered.
Smoky. They sneaky have like a a sailgate situation there too.
They had a sailgate situation. Knoxville has that wonderful sun dome from the World's Fair.
You guys are claimed sometimes that you're a basketball school now, even though you have Rick Barnes as your head coach, which means you'll never win anything big. So there's some good things going on.
You almost hired John Gruden. You had Manning.

You had John Gruden on campus and then he said, you know what? I'd rather move to Oakland. You are actually the best team run by Jimmy Haslam.
That's a good point. The Browns are worse.
That's a very good point. So that's actually really nice.
Yeah. You probably get the majority of Jimmy Haslam's time.
I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but you probably do. When John Gruden was on her campus, he said, you know what?

I'd rather not work for an organization that has such a weird legacy of familial interference. I'm going to go work for Mark Davis.
Yeah, that's perfect. I actually thought Josh Dobbs for a minute there was good.
Josh Dobbs was okay. I thought he was good.
He had his moments. You know what Tennessee has? I did.
You know what Tennessee has? They have very good early in the season primetime game colors. Yes.
So when you see them play in like week one or week two, and they're beating Little Sisters of the Poor by like 50 points, you're like, this team, this could be the year that they finally don't lose to Florida in overtime. Mm-hmm.
You also, I remember when you had a Clausen. Actually, you guys were kind of still decent then.
That was cool. Casey, I think.
Was it Casey? Casey Clausen? The Vols are back. And before long, we'll be taking a bite out of everybody we plays ass.
There's our Tennessee. It wasn't even a roast.
We actually just complimented you guys a shitload. So good job.
You guys are back. Feels like 98 is actually a cool thing to say.
Bless your heart.

It's so fucking funny that Peyton Manning is like the best quarterback of all time for

them.

And then they won the title the next year.

Right.

Pureless price.

All time name.

All time name.

All right.

We'll see everyone on Wednesday.

Love you guys. Thank you.
We'll be right back. I'm going to die.
Thank you. It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.