SB Champ Chris Jones, Josh Allen, XFL And The Oscars

1h 28m

Football is back, sort of. We liked week 1 of the XFL and some of the funky new rules (2:14 - 13:17). PFT had to put Rovell in line and Duke/UNC was an instant classic (13:17 - 18:29). Who's back of the week including Oscars and Bobby Knight returns to Indiana (18:29 - 28:56). Super Bowl Champ Chris Jones joins the show to talk about Super Bowl 54, the post party, the time his dick flopped out of his underwear at the combine and more (28:56 - 51:45). Our friend Buffalo Bills QB Josh Allen joins the show to talk about his second season in Buffalo, the famous playoff game lateral and more (51:45 - 70:16). Segments include way to stay relevant baseball, Russ Wilson photoshoot roast with a tangent on NYC wildlife, and ass eating season with Phil Fulmer and we say nice things about Tennessee.


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

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Runtime: 1h 28m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Super Bowl champion Chris Jones on the podcast in studio, telling us what it was like in Kansas City after the big win, telling us how his life has changed.

Speaker 1 Also, maybe partied a little too hard, but that's no fault of his own. We also have our good friend Josh Allen, the Rocket Arm, on the show.
And we talk a little XFL, a little Duke UNC,

Speaker 1 a little

Speaker 1 way to stay relevant baseball, some tangents in the segments. A great show coming your way.
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Speaker 1 Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now and use hashtag bad beats Monday.

Speaker 1 Tweet it at the Cash App and at Pardon My Take and we will hook up some AWS who had bad beats over the weekend. Today is Monday, February 10th, XFL week one.

Speaker 1 And with 13 minutes and 9 seconds left in the second quarter, the DC defender kicker Tyler Rousa from 35 yards. The kick is up and it is

Speaker 1 no good.

Speaker 1 No good from 35 yards. 35 yarder, no good.
Tyler Rousa. And that is your most important highlight of the weekend.
So welcome to part of my take. We had the XFL this weekend.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk everything else, but we... It was probably the biggest story of the weekend.
I think anytime one of these football leagues debuts, it is the biggest story for at least one weekend.

Speaker 1 I enjoyed it. The XFL was, I thought it was really fun.
Now, I watched, obviously, all of the first game. I was in DC for it.

Speaker 1 The crowd was electric. The crowd was ready for some football.

Speaker 1 Who knows how the XFL is going to go, if it's going to be like a season-long fascination, or if it's going to be like the AAF last year, where it was the first two weeks were like, yeah, let's go football.

Speaker 1 Yep. And then it died out.
But it seemed like the rules were just drunk enough in the XFL where it could work out. And I'm going to say, like, the atmosphere in D.C.
at Audi Field was better.

Speaker 1 It was more fun than any Redskins game that I've been to in the last 20 years. Well,

Speaker 1 the quarterback play actually, weirdly, was better for the D.C. defenders than it had been for the Redskins for the last 20 years, too.
Cardell Jones was good. He was really good.

Speaker 1 And I thought that that was a surprise to me. I didn't know if he was going to be good or not.
He was definitely the guy to watch because all the other quarterbacks weren't so good.

Speaker 1 So I went into it. I've said it on Friday show.
I'm nervous because I went into AAF thinking, oh my god, this is going to be great, and then got my heart broken.

Speaker 1 I've done this dance before, so I went into it cautious, but I did enjoy it. I thought it was

Speaker 1 watchable, better than the AAF. There's definitely some things that are weird that they have to fix, but there's also some things that will be in the NFL soon.
Like the kickoff rule is cool.

Speaker 1 I like the kickoff rule. The extra points, where it's one, two, and three, I love that you can go for three now because it extends games.

Speaker 1 And it also gives situations where Mark Tressman can kick a field goal when the team actually is only down two scores.

Speaker 1 So he kicked a field goal to go down two scores to go down two scores, not realizing that you can go for three and get nine points.

Speaker 1 I also like it how on those extra points, you've got anytime you can have three different colored lines superimposed on the field is awesome. Yes.
It's like there's, there's two, there's three.

Speaker 1 There's

Speaker 1 what from the two-yard line, it's one point. From the five, it's two points.
From the ten, it's three points. Is that how it works? Yeah.
I don't know why anybody would ever go for one.

Speaker 1 If you go for one, if you go for one, you should have to wear a scarlet letter. Everyone went for one because it was like perfect.

Speaker 1 It was basically giving these football coaches, and that's actually a great thing to watch, is all these football coaches that

Speaker 1 have been cast aside for a while. Like Kevin Gilbride was coaching the Guardians.
He hasn't coached since 2013. Kind of thrown out to pasture.

Speaker 1 So now he's back trying to get back into it, and he's still doing conservative things to try to save his job. It's just so important.
Yeah, it's great to watch. Don't get fired if you go for one.

Speaker 1 Jerry Glanville's got two headsets on. Ultimate football guy moved.
He was 69ing the headsets because one has the mouth point on one.

Speaker 1 I got to listen in on some of the play calls that were going on in the DC game, like during the actual play. Right.
Because the coaches can still, you know, they're talking to each other.

Speaker 1 They were playing it on the broadcast, too.

Speaker 1 during the actual plays like they would sometimes play like what they were what they were saying yeah so during the plays was awesome hearing pep hamilton like yelling at cardell for like making the wrong decisions like throw it away throw it away god damn it cardell it was actually like it was very interesting to hear the uh the crowd was having a great time it seemed like everybody was like it was almost like a company christmas party in the stands where everybody was just like a little bit tipsy going into it and not really taking it super seriously but they're just there to have fun i i also credit to the xfl they did a good job with the jerseys.

Speaker 1 I like the jersey colors. They're just like good enough where you can see it as not a complete

Speaker 1 clown league. You know what I mean? Like, I even liked the Vipers.
I thought their helmets were cool. The Dragons,

Speaker 1 no, I liked their colors. It was just enough.
No, here's my problem with the Vipers helmet. It had like notes of the Seattle Seahawks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like lime green, but it was almost like a little bit of barf pea soup. No, I was cool with it.
It got tampered down to it. I was cool with it.
So the helmets, the jerseys looked cool.

Speaker 1 Some things I didn't like uh mark tressman's just just triggering me the whole time i told you um i didn't i i thought there were too many interviews on the sideline that's that's something they're gonna have to figure out because it was a little too much like i didn't really need to hear from a guy who like ran a slant and caught a pass for 10 yards be like how'd that go so that that was a little too much i i like that they're getting in the game they also have to figure out a way so they went up to the replay booth a bunch and it sounded like i had you know went up like two flights of stairs just Just everyone's breathing super heavy into the mic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I like the transparency, but that's a little thing that they'll probably have to fix.
But overall, I'd give it, it's far better than the AF.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's going to succeed because, as I've always said, tell me how it does when we get to March Madness, when we get to the Masters and NBA and NHL playoffs.

Speaker 1 But as of right now, I thought it was good. I actually, I had more fun at that game on Saturday than I've had in a very long time.

Speaker 1 Regardless, I know I compared it to FedEx Field, which is like comparing a diamond to a piece of shit because FedEx Field is by far the worst stadium, I think, in all of the National Football League.

Speaker 1 But just being at that game,

Speaker 1 it was fun. It was exciting.
And that's all that we want out of extra football. Exponent is football.
And it was fun, even though the oversight. The football itself wasn't great.

Speaker 1 That's okay. We need to do something about the overs.
Yep. Yeah, no, people got very mad at me because I said in jest, it was a bad beat.

Speaker 1 It was beautiful that we started a league with a bad beat on the over in the D.C. Defenders game.
I said, cancel a league, not fun.

Speaker 1 And I always forget that, like, there are some people who will take everything very seriously and also take football that seriously. We're like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 Why would you bash my league that I've loved for one day? When I was very much in jest because the next game went over and I was like, you know what? League's back on. Listen, I'm a lifelong XFL fan.

Speaker 1 I'm a day one D.C. Defenders guy.
So I guess

Speaker 1 the big test is, will you go out of your way to watch games? Because that's really what it comes down to me.

Speaker 1 I think I will watch games if I'm sitting there and it's like, oh, okay, it's like I found myself even today.

Speaker 1 I watched the Wisconsin basketball game and then it was like, oh, there's a game on. Let me flip over.
And I watched it for a little bit. But will you build your weekend around it?

Speaker 1 It doesn't pass that test yet. Well, it passed this one test earlier today.

Speaker 1 I was at a bar. I was eating lunch and they had the UMass game on, the basketball game.
I think it was UMass, George Mason,

Speaker 1 which is like asterisks. Is that really

Speaker 1 basketball game? No, it is, yeah.

Speaker 1 And the bartender heard like a request from somebody at the end of the room and was like, oh, yeah, okay. She goes up to the TV, changes it to the XFL.
This is like

Speaker 1 that's the beginning. This is like

Speaker 1 this is like political Twitter when people make up, like, my five-year-old just asked me. It was the way.
What does Medicare for all mean? I was in a hipster coffee.

Speaker 1 No, I was in a hipball politician making up stories.

Speaker 1 I was in a hip-hop coffee shop. Viper fan.
No,

Speaker 1 it actually did happen that they changed it to the. I don't think the person gave it to you.
No, I know, about the vitamins. I'm just kidding.
I love those stories on Twitter. It was like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm in a hipster coffee shop, and all the former liberals are talking about how much they love Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's essentially the story that I told, but it was true, and it's the start of a wave. I don't know

Speaker 1 how we're going to look at this league in two months' time, but what I do know is that this weekend there was football on TV. Yeah.
As opposed to

Speaker 1 maybe they're not being football on TV. No, I liked it, and I feel like we're taking the mature approach versus last year when we lost our mind about the AAF and forgot about it a week later.

Speaker 1 So, this is the. We've been hurt before.
Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 1 I will watch it if I'm around and sitting there.

Speaker 1 I don't, again, come March Madness. We'll see.
That will be the big test. Is the XFL better than the NFL already? Wow.
Who's to say? Maybe.

Speaker 1 It also would just, if they just had like one or two more guys. I know that they can't

Speaker 1 waste all their money on

Speaker 1 names, but if Tebow or Caperna Kaepernick

Speaker 1 or Manzel,

Speaker 1 because I actually watched the first game because it was on and I was watching it anyway, but Cardell Jones is one of those guys. I even tweeted, it was like, Cardell Jones, he'll make plays.

Speaker 1 You're like, why didn't he turn out? Why isn't he better than he is? I think Cardell Jones has only played, like, only started 12 games. No, he has not lost the start since high school.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's but any, but he's only started like 12 or 13 games. He came in and released football younger than the national Mitchell Trubisky is.
Yeah. So I watch him and I'm always baffled.

Speaker 1 Like, that guy's got an arm. He makes plays and then he'll do something stupid.
I'm like, okay, that makes sense. But he's someone you tune in to watch for.

Speaker 1 I don't, they need like one or two more of those guys to really compel me to be like, okay, I got to be in front of the TV.

Speaker 1 Two-thirds of the Golden Triangle, if you had Kaepernick, Tebow, Manzel. If you had two-thirds of those, people are going to tune in and watch.
Toss in RG3 to the leadership. Maybe Jay Cutler.

Speaker 1 Come back. Jay Cutler.
You know, he's working on handle now. Maybe Joe Burrow elects to be drafted by the XS.
Trevor Lawrence, skip your last year, Clemson. That's right for the Vipers.
Who knows?

Speaker 1 All of these things could happen. One suggested, so you were talking about up in the replay booth how it's a lot of just old men being like,

Speaker 1 yes, just breathing directly. And a guy holding an Xbox controller.
Which is sweet. Yeah, very badass gamer for life.
He looked like Xbox one. I think he was playing Halo in between quarters.

Speaker 1 Originally, like offline. Yeah.
Not connected to the internet.

Speaker 1 So what they should do is they should just put like a filter on them so they sound like pilots and then have top gun going in the background. Like the music that

Speaker 1 they could buy an ad space, yeah. Roger, that looks like we're gonna spot the ball on the 42-yard line as a sunny day, and uh, Brig Rigger back to you guys down on the field.

Speaker 1 Like, that'd be cool to have that little like dynamic going on up there. I agree.
So, uh, the other story we have out of the XFL, uh, by the way, you can watch us, barstowgold.com/slash PMT.

Speaker 1 We got Chris Jones and Josh Allen coming up.

Speaker 1 You versus Darren Revelle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, listen,

Speaker 1 Darren came at me. Sometimes you have to send a message that you're not to be fucked with, and

Speaker 1 maybe I went a little bit too far. What did he say? Yeah, what did he say?

Speaker 1 Darren played dress up this morning for the XFL Guardians, the hated Guardians. Darren made fun of the fact that you got cut from the XFL.
Yeah, he played dress up. It's not funny.

Speaker 1 And they let him put on a little uniform and act like he was a football player. And then he was like, one journalist didn't get cut.

Speaker 1 And yeah, Darren's because you aren't athletic enough to actually try out. And so I had to come at him and basically make fun of the fact that he's never given a woman an orgasm.
There we go.

Speaker 1 And which he did not dispute. That was the first time, you know, how before you tried out, you're like, hey, I actually want to make this team, not like, ironically, I want to make this team.

Speaker 1 That really hammered it home when you went at Darren Revelle and you were actually mad. It was like, you know what? Well, PFT, have his back because guess what? Revelle, it's not funny, dude.

Speaker 1 He came at me for a second. It's not fucking funny, man.

Speaker 1 Man, you got to send a message sometimes and let people know that you still got it you know nice to see they let you have a jersey number honoring the amount of original ideas you've ever had multiplied by the number of times you've successfully located a clitoris got him yeah got him facts only

Speaker 1 and then and then his response was actually i've had several original ideas

Speaker 1 and not addressing the clitoris

Speaker 1 might be zero then nice job revell looks like i got him uh also they missed a 35 yarder as we addressed in the fast yes two minutes So that was a very funny moment.

Speaker 1 Perfect moment. But then he made a 55-yarder, and it's like, okay, that makes sense why.
But that's not my job. Yeah, when he, I'm not a distance guy, I'm not a show off.

Speaker 1 When he missed a 35-yarder, I actually was. I had a moment where I was kind of pissed.
I was like, what the fuck? Why is BFT not in this league? And then he bombed a 55-yarder.

Speaker 1 I was like, shit, that's probably why. It was a great place.
Because, yeah, he can kick more than 35. But who knows? But he missed a 35-yarder.
Also, got the hob knob with

Speaker 1 some of the brass, the XFL brass on the sidelines there. And

Speaker 1 the dream might not be over. Oh, yeah? The dream might not be over.
Okay, so they're just keeping you around. They're putting you on ice.

Speaker 1 I was really hoping that Jim Zorn was going to run a swinging gate play just to be like, just to stick it to the city of Washington. Also, no double pass.
No double pass.

Speaker 1 That goes along the same lines as the coaches being afraid to go for two or three. Yep.

Speaker 1 It's like there's a new rule that you can take advantage of that's probably going to look awesome on the Sky Cam. Just please, somebody try it.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 All right, so that was the XFL.

Speaker 1 We have who's back. Before we do that, should we talk a little bit? Duke UNC, which was awesome.
The rivalry is back on, even though UNC is terrible this year. The jerseys were the team manager bull.

Speaker 1 The team manager bull. I turned on the game, and I actually thought I had turned on the team manager because it was also at six o'clock when it should be at eight o'clock.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And Dickie V should be on the call. And Dickie V should be on the call.
UNC, they blew that game so, so bad. And now I think, Hank, I'm ready to say it.
Duke's here. I think it is Duke Shere.

Speaker 1 Like, that was such an improv. What Trey Jones did with that, with that, like, you can't, you do that a hundred times.
It's Duke Doink. You do that a hundred times and it doesn't work the way it did.

Speaker 1 You do it a thousand times, it doesn't work the way it did. It was perfectly placed.

Speaker 1 So many times people try to miss on purpose and they completely miss the rim or it goes, you know, a different direction. It bounced perfectly back to him.

Speaker 1 He scores, not perfectly back to him, but to where he could get it. And UNC just blew that game a million different ways.
There's an art form to missing free throws.

Speaker 1 Is Roy Williams on his deathbed now?

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably. He's probably going to die on the sidelines.
I mean, they missed so many free throws. They weren't even boxing out.
Fundamental basketball PFT for your guy.

Speaker 1 If I'm Roy Williams, I would rather have gotten blown out by 20 points than to lose like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I'm not on UNC, so no. But yeah.
This might be an unpopular take, but I didn't mind the jerseys.

Speaker 1 The jerseys were bad when they debuted him on Twitter. And that

Speaker 1 were worse. In person, I thought they were

Speaker 1 worse. They looked like big Superman loads of them.
No,

Speaker 1 it was so bad. The fact that they were like full color, like it was kind of a color rush, and they're both blues.
That's what was awesome about it. No, but it was confusing because they're both blues.

Speaker 1 And then it did. It really looked like game managers.
It looked like the practice jerseys that they wear. I didn't mind them as much in person as I did when I first saw them.

Speaker 1 I got used to them by halftime.

Speaker 1 It was great that they, so in classic Duke UNC fashion, that stat that we we saw all week that they the last hundred games they were 50 and 50 and scored the exact same amount of points and then they went to overtime yep so so perfect but it was great it was great that i love when rivalries even when a team is down and it can still get up to the hype and like be such a chaotic crazy game kudos to that and it's duke's year it is officially duke's year it is yeah and maybe gonzaga because gonzaga keeps gonzaga had their classic game where they play every year they play st.

Speaker 1 Mary's and everyone's like this is the one spot they could lose this, and then they just fucking kick the shit out of them. Yeah, well, that was Gonzag on Saturday.
What about Baylor?

Speaker 1 I'm putting Baylor into my maybe. Baylor's very, very good.
They're in my maybe pile. The number one team's in your maybe pile.
They're in my maybe pile right now. Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 1 Well, because so yeah, they're very good. Once he got to number one, people were like, Wow, can you believe Baylor's number one? Yeah, no, they're frauds.
No, they're maybe. They're very good.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our who's back. Hank, why don't you start? My who's back of the week is Chaz Batch.

Speaker 1 Why's he playing the FB2? Charlie Batch. So, yeah, you act surprised Big Cat.
You're like, why are you talking about Chaz Batch? Is he okay?

Speaker 1 He posted a video this weekend, and he said it was like him in his driveway, a bunch of snow, and he's like, wow, so excited for the snow.

Speaker 1 Snow plowing time. Got 5 million views.
What?

Speaker 1 What? Chaz Batch, so excited for the snow.

Speaker 1 No way.

Speaker 1 Is Chaz Batch buying?

Speaker 1 Was there something? Holy shit, 5.38 million views. I'm in my happy place right now, snowboarding title.
You know what it is? I know what it is. He kind of looks like John Legend.

Speaker 1 So John Legend might have

Speaker 1 tweeted it and he said, there it is. I was speeding past this in my mentions and definitely thought it was me.
There we go. Even John Legend thought this was.
This is John Legend.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm happy I got that. Jeff Reed definitely looked at this and was like, yeah, that's definitely.

Speaker 1 He really does look like John Legend. But yeah, so Chaz Bash is back.
Ooh. Millions of people across the world are like, oh, forgot about Charlie Bash.

Speaker 1 It would be a real shame if Chrissy Teigen saw this and was like, hmm, I did. I have always wanted to live in Michigan in the middle of February.

Speaker 1 I know something else he could do. Upgrade, upgrade.
Yeah. Damn, Chazbatch.
Way to go, Dr. Wow, Chrissy, that looks like about seven to eight inches.
Great to see him.

Speaker 1 That needs to get plowed right there. Max and Legend.
Maybe you could help out with that, Chrissy. Chazbatch.
Wow. He does look a little bit like Arthur the Aardvark.
A little bit, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's also, I'm looking at his Twitter now. He's doing some weird

Speaker 1 organic makeup masks. He's looking special.

Speaker 1 He's got two fucking Super Bowl rings. A verbal meme.

Speaker 1 This is John Legend when he finds out that Charlie Batch is plowing Chrissy Teigen. Let's see Arthur Fist.
Oh, nice. Bring that back.
He looks good. He looks in game shape.
He's ready to go.

Speaker 1 Get him in the XFO. Yeah.
Hell yeah. PFT, who do you have who's your who's back?

Speaker 1 My Who's Back. By the way, Hank, I like how you set that up.
Like 8 million views. And then we had to do like a treasure hunt to find out why.
Electric. My Who's Back of the Week is Beers.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So beers are back in a huge way.

Speaker 1 Some people ask, like, are beers only to be drank on one day of the week? And in fact, no, they're not. Beers can be drank any day of the week.
How many, though? Infinity, Azillion. Ooh, maybe.

Speaker 1 Oh, Azillion. Azillion.
Azillion. You can drink a Zillion beers any day of the week.
Very versatile.

Speaker 1 And Bong, the Korean director of Parasite, just had a clean sweep at the Oscars tonight, won Best Picture, Best Director, a lot of other good stuff.

Speaker 1 And he capped off every acceptance speech with, now I'm going to drink until tomorrow morning. Yes.
Which is a big power move. By the way, Parasite, if you hadn't seen it, awesome movie.

Speaker 1 Big time, like, well-deserving Oscar. I saw if people were upset because 1917 didn't win.
I actually saw all the Oscar movies this year, first time in forever.

Speaker 1 And I did like 1917 more, but Parasite was just as good. Like, it was one of those.
Let the record show.

Speaker 1 One and two easily. What?

Speaker 1 Let the record show what?

Speaker 1 Because you thought 1917 was better. Oh, I did.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I saw 1917 in the theater, and I saw Parasite at Home.
So there's always the difference.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But yeah, good Oscars show.
Good Oscars.

Speaker 1 Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix.
Canceled Milk. When he got on stage, I immediately said, this is about to be an unusual three minutes.

Speaker 1 And he just starts talking, and the first two minutes of his speech were...

Speaker 1 Bad things are bad, and collectively as humanity, we should renounce them. Right.
And then I kind of tuned him out for a little bit.

Speaker 1 And when I started listening, he was talking about like stealing milk from a calf because it belongs to his mom's teeth. Oat milk is in.
Oat milk?

Speaker 1 So I don't have a problem. Milk alternatives.

Speaker 1 I don't have a problem with oat milk, except for the fact that once every week or so, somebody tweets me a picture of the specific type of oat milk, which is a person who looks exactly like me, a cartoon, dressed in a bird outfit.

Speaker 1 And I have no idea what brand of oat milk it is, but that's my only excuse. We've got to find that oat milk.
So it feels negative, right? Look it up. We're all in on the oat milk.

Speaker 1 But yeah, good Oscars show. I'm sure people were upset with the length or with all the rich people.
I don't know. There's a million

Speaker 1 to be mad about the Oscars. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just watched it because I actually saw all the movies this year, so I actually knew what was going on. Eminem was back.

Speaker 1 That was cool.

Speaker 1 Martin Scorzesi fell asleep during Eminem's set. That was also cool.
The head nodding to Eminem performance was all time. Oh, so awkward.
Just love watching all these people dressed up and awkward.

Speaker 1 Oh, Stephen A is doing the after-show. Of course, he is.
Look at that. Of course, he is.
Horny Stephen A. Oh, man.
That was probably a big night for him. He's got something to say about the dresses.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how about that one? What was the woman who came up and basically was like, Last year, this time was my husband's best night of his life? Basically, just like, I sucked my husband dry.

Speaker 1 Sucked that guy down. Yeah, I don't know who that was, but that was an awesome speech, too.

Speaker 1 All right, my

Speaker 1 who's back is Bobby Knight. Bobby Knight is back.
I can't believe it happened. He returned to Indiana.

Speaker 1 I never thought he would. He has said

Speaker 1 he wanted everyone who took part in him

Speaker 1 getting fired from Indiana to die. He said that.
He said, Dan Patrick Show. He also said, bury me upside down so those losers can kiss my ass.
Yep.

Speaker 1 I don't think he understands how, like, would somebody, if they went to the trouble to dig up your body, they could just turn you over. True.
Well, it would probably be just nothing there, bones.

Speaker 1 Right. But the whole upside down thing feels like he just wanted to fuck the earth.
Yeah, but he uh, he did actually wish death on everyone.

Speaker 1 He, I think it was probably a few years ago when he was on Dan Patrick, and he uh, he said something like

Speaker 1 Dan Patrick was like, Yeah, so all those people, they're all long gone. Like, you should go back because this has been a long time thing.
Like, he said that he hated Indiana, didn't want to go back.

Speaker 1 There was times he would rumor that he would be back, but he would never go back. And he's like, Yeah, I hope everyone there, like, is long gone and dead.

Speaker 1 And Dan Patrick was like, Well, I mean, not dead, dead. And he's like, yeah, no, no, no, no.
No, dead. Dead.
No, I'm Bob Knight.

Speaker 1 I am a surly motherfucker.

Speaker 1 I kind of respect that about a guy. You'll always know where you stand with him.

Speaker 1 He's the kind of guy that will wish somebody to just be not dead on Earth anymore. To be dead.

Speaker 1 Also, Bob Knight, speaking of beers, zillion beers, please drink responsibly because Bob Knight's nose, holy shit, did you see that? He's got some gin blossoms. It is a purple nose.

Speaker 1 He's got a full-on purple nose. So his nose is turned into the clown stripe pants.
Did you see it? I'll show you a picture. This is live PFT reaction to Bob Knight's nose because it was hard to miss.

Speaker 1 Look at that. It looks like he got punched.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Yeah. Purple nose.
He got rum punched. Yeah, he got punched over and over years and years and years and years.

Speaker 1 So good to see Bob Knight back.

Speaker 1 And it was great to have his celebrate his old team. He and Isaiah Thomas hand in hand.
Just two good guys root for him. I love it.
I love it. Bob Knight, coach the Knicks.
Yeah, do it. I'm sure he's.

Speaker 1 Actually, that would be fucking awesome, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would be great. Let's make it happen.

Speaker 1 He just yell at everyone and piss off everyone, maybe choke some players, do some really shitty things, throw some chairs around at officials. Can't be worse than the current Knicks.
Dan Dokic.

Speaker 1 Bob Knight coached the. He should coach the Bulls.
Jim Boylan is just a nicer Bob Knight.

Speaker 1 They should get Dan Dockich to be the general manager of the Knicks, the president of the Knicks, Dan Dokic, head coach, Bobby Knight. They don't speak.
Yeah, well, they don't have to.

Speaker 1 That's how the Knicks front office has been working for the last 10 years.

Speaker 1 Big-time beef. This league beef.
Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Dockage has not talked to Bob Knight in a few years.

Speaker 1 Must be pretty bad. Yeah, no, he said that he's talked shit about him.
Like, Bob Knight has talked shit about Dockach everywhere.

Speaker 3 Dockage has gone.

Speaker 1 Is it time to ask, like, can Dockic not take hard coaching anymore?

Speaker 1 Is he so

Speaker 1 millennial

Speaker 1 trophy? Dockage. He needs his coaches to be patting him on the head all the time.
Listen. I think I'm actually supposed to go on a show tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Talk to him about this. He's so bad mad if he hears.
Talk to me about this. Listen, partner.
Dan, listen. In today's day and age, I know you want everything handed to you on a silver platter.

Speaker 1 But a lot of times, the coaches you learn the most from, they're the ones that coach you the hardest, son. All right, so you want to get out there and learn?

Speaker 1 You want to learn something about the world, about being a real-life human being now? You want to listen to a guy like Bob Knight, even when he says bad things about you. It's good points.

Speaker 1 Good points. So, yeah, Bob Knight is back.
Now we can put that to bed.

Speaker 1 He strikes me as a guy who might, that might be it.

Speaker 1 Probably. That might be be a Joe Puff situation.
He came back. He did his thing.
That might be it. Or maybe we need to ask, like, what's his angle for coming back right now? Oh.

Speaker 1 Is he trying to take the place down from the inside?

Speaker 1 I'll put it this way: look under conference tables for any suitcase that Bob Knight may have left behind. Interesting.
Interesting. Goes deeper.

Speaker 1 Okay, before we get to Super Bowl champion Chris Jones, a quick word from our sponsor. What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey.

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Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on Super Bowl champion Chris Jones from the Kansas City Chiefs soon to be a very rich man

Speaker 1 Are you ready for that? Like, you got to be. That's coming, right? That's coming soon.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it'll it'll work itself out, man. You know,

Speaker 3 money is always a good thing to have. So, you know, but it'll work itself out.
Try not to think about it.

Speaker 1 I assume these guys here with you right now are your agents, right? Yeah. Okay.
So, were they mad at you after the Super Bowl when you said, I want to be a chief for life?

Speaker 3 You know, their opinions on my career decision really don't matter because your agents work for you.

Speaker 1 True. So, so

Speaker 3 it's completely to my my decision if I want to be a chief for life or not. It's not my agent.

Speaker 1 No matter what happens, you're going to be a very happy man.

Speaker 3 Yeah, most definitely, man. Especially when

Speaker 3 you have more capital than you can count on your finger.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's nice.
It's a good problem. That's nice.
So, yeah, go ahead, pick the channel. I was going to say, I actually

Speaker 1 thought that you could have been the Super Bowl MVP the way that you played. On defense, it was like you and Honey Badger were all over the place.

Speaker 1 Those deflections that you had, some of the rushes that you had, you did like some forklift move, got in Jimmy G's face, made him step up in the pocket.

Speaker 1 Were you thinking like maybe for a second, like I might be Super Bowl MVP?

Speaker 3 No, you know,

Speaker 3 we all have those goals going into the game, you know, what do you want to achieve out of the game?

Speaker 3 And I was like, MVP, or, you know, I knew that it was going to be pretty hard to beat when you have a quarterback of the

Speaker 3 statue that Pat has, you know, when you can come out and do those things with your arm. And, you know, offensive guys, it's hard to beat an offensive guy.

Speaker 1 They want to give it to like a receiver. At the very least, they'll give it to a receiver.
You know, like

Speaker 1 defensive guy in a lot of time. Defensive guy is definitely hard.
Yeah, Vaughn Miller had it in Super Bowl 50.

Speaker 1 But you did have that, I would say the two biggest plays in the Super Bowl were Patrick Mahomes third and 15 to Tyreek Hill, and then your deflection second and five, when it looked like the 49ers had exactly what they wanted to pass there.

Speaker 1 They had Kittle

Speaker 1 Suggs in the middle of the field, wide open. That changes the complexion of the rest of the game.
You get in there and you

Speaker 1 tip that ball. Were you saying to yourself like in that moment, like, this is my time to make some plays?

Speaker 1 Because it felt like the whole defensive line, as you get to the fourth quarter, you guys all stepped your game up at the same time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you know, through the course of the game, football, especially that game was a momentum game.

Speaker 3 Momentum was shifting up and down, you know,

Speaker 3 especially in that situation. It was 20 to 10, I think So, and

Speaker 3 our offense has just gave them the ball back. And if they would have scored, that would have put them up, what, 17 points?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So we was thinking in our heads, somebody got to make a play. And, you know, that was the perfect situation for me.
I love for those situations.

Speaker 3 I was feeling like Jordan gained five, three seconds on the clock to go. Let's make something happen.

Speaker 1 Love that. That's got to be a great feel, yeah.

Speaker 3 It is.

Speaker 1 It's like having an ongoing orgasm. Right.
Excuse me. Yeah, Tantric.
You're like the sting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they run the wasp play on offense. You run the sting play on defense, which is just you're just nutting the entire second half of the morning.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 3 That's a beautiful way to put it, man.

Speaker 1 That's a beautiful way to put it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you were just mentioning, like, if they had scored, they would have gone up 17 points. That would have been in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 1 But ironically, you guys have played almost better throughout the playoffs with a double-digit points deficit earlier in the game.

Speaker 1 Is that part of your defensive game plan plan to be like, hey, let's let them score 20 points in the first 15 minutes and then we'll come back?

Speaker 3 Oh, absolutely not.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 Let them use all their good plays.

Speaker 3 Yeah, a lot of those have to do with...

Speaker 3 If you know the first 15 plays of a football game on the offensive side are all schemed and they're already called before

Speaker 3 the ball even snap.

Speaker 3 First 15 are scripted. So once you get over the first 15,

Speaker 3 depending on where you're at in the game, 14 to 0, 21 to 0, you can make adjustments. Because after the first 15, now the offense got to go back to what they originally do.

Speaker 3 And that's what you study for. Sometimes

Speaker 3 we get to getting looks that we haven't seen all year, and it kind of knocks you off balance.

Speaker 3 But as long as you can withstand that foul power that they're going to send out to you, then the rest is a cruise.

Speaker 1 Settle this debate for us. Damien Williams, what is his nickname in the locker room?

Speaker 3 D-Will.

Speaker 3 That's what I call him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, most people. No one calls him Playoff Damien? Playoff Damien.

Speaker 3 That may be a new thing. You know, he had 11 touchdowns.

Speaker 1 Well, Joe Buck said it during the broadcast. He was like,

Speaker 1 as they call him, Playoff Damien. And we're like, there's no way anyone calls him Playoff Damien.
That seems a little weird. It's a bad nickname.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, I haven't heard it. Joe Buck may know something I don't know.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. So we were right.
Like we were saying, it could have been big game dame or playoff. Yeah, big game.
Those are big game names.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it flows with the name, but playoff naming

Speaker 3 knows.

Speaker 1 All right, so we're spot on. I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 Have you recovered from Phillip Rivers punching you?

Speaker 1 I haven't.

Speaker 3 I still see a bruise. I'm wondering what

Speaker 3 necessary steps is this leader going to take to make sure that, you know,

Speaker 3 he seek the repercussions of punching someone. But no, I haven't recovered yet.

Speaker 1 That was like the cutest punch ever. It was.
It was Phillip, man. He was frustrated.
Yeah, so what was being said back and forth when that happened?

Speaker 3 You got to understand, I talk a lot of shit on the field.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 That's the first time I ever seen Tom Brady get mad at a defensive lineman.

Speaker 1 Earlier in the year? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3 When I talk shit to him. But no, that's part of the game, man.
I feel like, especially quarterbacks, because they just on hiatus.

Speaker 3 You know, it's quarterback and D-line. Those are two different type of class.
So when y'all are able to clash up, you talk your shit. You say how you feel to him.

Speaker 3 If you on the ground, you know, you call him an old-ass motherfucker or

Speaker 3 get your old ass up.

Speaker 3 You need to fucking retire.

Speaker 1 And, you know.

Speaker 3 It hurts, yeah. Yeah.
So anytime I'm able to say anything to a quarterback after I hit him, I don't even have to hit you. I'll just come to you and talk shit.

Speaker 3 But after the game, it's nothing but love and respect. But between those lines, we're at at war.
And whatever I can do to get under your skin, whatever I can do to affect you. But just don't know.

Speaker 3 Just understand it's not just talking shit. I'm going to hit you.
Right. You're going to feel me.

Speaker 1 I was actually reading about the...

Speaker 1 You called it crap talking, which I actually like that. You were crap talking Brady, and you were getting it in his head.
Do you think you actually got in his head? I mean,

Speaker 3 I got him to say something back to me.

Speaker 1 What did he say?

Speaker 3 I'm going to leave that unnoticed, undisclosed. You know, Brady was a good guy.
He cussed me out, but I loved it. But that's the first time I've seen Brady cuss D Lyman out.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so obviously I was doing something right.

Speaker 1 If he loses his focus a little bit, you're in his head.

Speaker 3 Exactly. And he might eat a strawberry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you never know. He might accidentally touch an avocado and break out in hives.
Right.

Speaker 1 I'm assuming that you said to Tom Brady, like, you old ass motherfucker, retire.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 along those words. And Brady got up so fucking fast.

Speaker 1 That's the quickest I've ever seen Brady move Philip probably punched you just because he was mad that you cussed he doesn't like that no foul talk

Speaker 3 the most shit in the most

Speaker 3 in the most careful way G-rated you freaking sucker you

Speaker 1 I'd be like shut the fuck up Philip

Speaker 1 yeah he says mother freaker yeah yeah mother freaky

Speaker 1 gracious to Pete I hear he says that one a lot

Speaker 3 yeah so he's a he's a

Speaker 3 he's a good guy though man

Speaker 3 is a great guy definitely respect him. Over the four years, we had to play that guy.
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 He's definitely a warrior, but any day we between those lines, he's an old motherfucker.

Speaker 1 So, something you obviously probably don't know, and actually, probably a lot of people who listen to this show, because we've been doing this for four years now.

Speaker 1 We're the number one sports podcast, but you actually have something to do with the history of this show because the first show we ever did was when your dick flopped out of the house.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you were like literally

Speaker 1 the top story that we talked about the first time we ever did this show.

Speaker 1 So thank you. Your penis might be responsible for the success of this podcast.
It did.

Speaker 3 My penis is a

Speaker 1 what went through your head when that happened? I mean, you were just you didn't do any other drills, right, after that?

Speaker 3 No, I didn't. The beautiful thing, I actually said it couldn't have happened to anyone else.

Speaker 3 It was perfect.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's happened to me a few times. Like, if I had a nickel for every time my dick broke through my compression shorts when I was running, I'd be a rich person.
Running like a four, five, forty.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. It happens to all the time.
It's actually safe to say that you're probably the only person in the history of the combine that will ever happen to.

Speaker 3 Oh, man.

Speaker 3 I would say that's good. If someone asked me, that's good because it took a lot of hard work,

Speaker 3 a lot of late nights,

Speaker 3 understanding myself. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 That's true. It's actually like if that happened to me, it would be the most embarrassing moment of my life because, I mean, my penis is like a tic-tac.
But for you, it was like, whatever, it happens.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like, it wasn't the first time it happened because I used to shoot basketball

Speaker 3 in gym shorts and used to have the compression. It'll just bust out.

Speaker 1 Honest to God, bro. How many pairs of compression shorts have you're like Klein Saucer fullback with face masks, except your dick is just destroying under armor? How many times has that happened?

Speaker 3 That happened twice, man. It happened one time playing basketball.

Speaker 1 So that's when it shot a jump shot.

Speaker 3 My shorts fell and my dick was hanging out.

Speaker 1 There you go. So it hasn't happened in four years.

Speaker 1 You're fine now.

Speaker 1 You got cleaned up. Did any GM approach you after that and say, hey, we're moving you up our big board because of that?

Speaker 3 I mean, I was thinking since I went balls out that, you know, I can get a little moved up, but they waited to the second day on me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, do you feel disrespected? Considering how good you've been in the league that you weren't drafted higher. Is that a chip on your shoulder?

Speaker 3 Yeah, most definitely, man. I felt like nothing to those guys that went ahead of me.

Speaker 3 Obviously, they done something that was attractive to the team, but, you know, I always had the chip on my shoulder that I was better.

Speaker 3 Not trying to discredit anyone or their work. It's just a confidence I have in myself.

Speaker 1 Do you think that you are the best interior lineman in the NFL right now?

Speaker 3 1,000%.

Speaker 3 1,000%.

Speaker 3 At this moment right now, I do feel as I'm the best.

Speaker 1 I was looking at some stats, and I saw that you not only produced at a high rate, but you get double-teamed almost as much as any lineman in the game.

Speaker 1 It's like you and Aaron Donald that get all these double teams. Do you like going up against two dudes?

Speaker 1 Do you feel like it's a sign of respect and it makes you kind of like raise your game up a little bit?

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 3 Around game four this year,

Speaker 3 I was getting upset because they wasn't double teaming me enough. And

Speaker 3 I feel like a double team creates

Speaker 3 open gaps for other players on the D-line. And I feel like if they double team me, we got good enough guys that's going to win their one-on-ones.

Speaker 3 So that's actually benefits me because when guys start winning at one-on-ones,

Speaker 3 the double team got to leave me. And then I'm able to get a one-on-one.
And I heart myself on winning one-on-ones.

Speaker 1 Interesting. So you're saying that when you are double-teamed from the jump, it's sometimes easier because you'll never get surprised double-teamed in the middle of the play.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm not saying that I like double team,

Speaker 3 but I've embraced double team. I don't found ways to beat double teams.

Speaker 3 I study on beating double teams more than beating one-on-ones.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 What did Andy Reid say to the team before you guys took the field?

Speaker 3 You know what? He kept it the same.

Speaker 3 He let

Speaker 3 Tyran Matthew and Pat Mahomes do their thing. And,

Speaker 3 you know, he just said, let your personality show.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I like that. Kind of like a Gordon Bombay.
Go out and have fun.

Speaker 3 That's 1,000% what he preaches. Let your personality show and have fun.

Speaker 1 Did Mahomes, we've had him on the show. Did he pump everyone up? Did he get everyone real pumped up?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Mahomes, he does his thing, but you know, there's nothing like a defensive guy cranking up the defense.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you know, nothing against an offensive guy, but offensive guys lead in a different way because they're about scoring. We're about attacking.
Right. So scoring is attacking.

Speaker 3 It's kind of the same thing, but it's a different

Speaker 1 expression coming out. Yeah.
Well, we've, through all the people we've talked to, guys in the NFL, they've always said, like, even off-air, that D-line players are the craziest players on the field.

Speaker 3 1,000%. We got some fucking characters on our team.

Speaker 1 They always say that room is like,

Speaker 1 that's the room you don't want to go into.

Speaker 3 We got my brother, Frank Clark,

Speaker 3 who is an animal, but he's definitely different. We got Mike Pennell, who is fucking, I don't even know where they got this guy from, but he is amazing.

Speaker 3 You know,

Speaker 3 we got

Speaker 3 Jethro.

Speaker 3 Death Row or Jethro? You'll think

Speaker 3 he's sound with um Sug Knight death row records

Speaker 1 yeah we got some characters on the team man

Speaker 3 I hate it for my position coach but he learned he kind of figured out how to combine everyone and make us all better do you do you do a Patrick Mahong's impression see I don't do that man because that's my QB and you can't you can't fuck up that connection between you and the QB Tyreek did it I didn't think his was that character by the way but I'm just saying you see only Tyreek got the ball like once or twice.

Speaker 1 Oh, good boy. That's a darling.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 3 when a quarterback is throwing you the ball and you're talking shit about him, you think he ain't going back? Okay. Yeah.
We're going to see how many times you get the ball.

Speaker 3 That's why we don't do that on this show.

Speaker 1 Ever, because we want to make sure that that relationship is still

Speaker 1 Pat has

Speaker 3 gave me a pair of those fucking goggles.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 So I'm not trying to fuck up the relationship between me and Pat.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Did you do a beer louge?

Speaker 3 You know I did, dog.

Speaker 1 You know I did.

Speaker 3 Listen, something about the parade, it went crazy in Kansas City. I think they're still going crazy.
It was like 30 degrees. I started too early.

Speaker 3 I got on the bus.

Speaker 3 I had the Ace of Spade with me. Ace of Spade just to throw the champagne everywhere.
I brought like three bottles. They gave me a bottle also.

Speaker 3 And I had the Patron. Just for those who love tequila.

Speaker 3 And you know, I had the Brown. I had the Gentleman Jacks.

Speaker 3 I had the Crown Apple.

Speaker 1 A little

Speaker 3 Extreme Rare.

Speaker 1 And then you had to do Stone Call.

Speaker 3 And then, you know, they had the Bud Light on the bus. So I didn't even have to move.
So I get on the bus. My

Speaker 3 girlfriend was like, just calm down. You know, let's just take it easy.
My teammates, they're like, Chris, let's not start early. I know you're excited.
So I'm like

Speaker 1 giving the fans the feeling. Fuck yeah, let's go.

Speaker 3 So I grabbed both of the bottles. And one particular fan had two bottles.
And it was a she. She clocked them together and and did it.
And I'm like, oh, no, you're not outdoing me.

Speaker 3 So I grabbed two bottles, clocked them together, boom, boom, boom. So that was like before the bus even moved.

Speaker 3 I'm still getting on the bus. Five minutes later, I started feeling a little woozy because I done did this like eight or nine times.
So I'm like, shit, let me sit down.

Speaker 1 But that's a good day to do steam beer. How often do you win? How often do you win a Super Bowl?

Speaker 3 That's what I was telling people. Listen, we had the owner there, the corporate, the president.

Speaker 3 And I told him, listen, man, if y'all are looking at me from a business standpoint, please don't right now. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Take one day off.

Speaker 3 Because today is not the day. You know, you're going to see some shit that you never probably ever see again out of Chris, unless we get right here again next year.

Speaker 1 Do they have a bathroom on the bus?

Speaker 3 Oh, no. Let me tell you what.
The craziest thing we had to do. We had to get off the bus, run to a porter-a-potty, finish, run back to the bus.
You know, and I was just like, fuck it.

Speaker 3 I got me a corner in the back of the bus and

Speaker 3 used the bottle and just did my thing. And I'm like, man, it was crazy though, man.

Speaker 3 10 minutes on the bus, I was about passed out. My girlfriend woke me up when we got to our destination.

Speaker 3 They put me in the corner. I fell asleep for like 45, 50 minutes.
They woke me up. We went on stage, went crazy.
Travis Kelsey said the most amazing speech ever. Oh, that was amazing.

Speaker 1 Well, he had to try to one-up his brother because his brother set the bar pretty high in Philadelphia.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, his brother did it.

Speaker 3 But Travis' outfit was off the chain, too. Yeah, it was.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Damn, that sounds like the best time ever. Oh, bro, it was.
I want to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 Oh, my dog. I got to win it again.
It feels like ongoing orgasm is just keep having it.

Speaker 1 You got to win it again and maybe don't drink as much right away.

Speaker 3 That's my thing. That's my thing.

Speaker 3 I challenged myself, you know, as soon as we won the Super Bowl, I was like, I'm going to see how many days I can just go hard all in. And shit, I finally fell asleep last night

Speaker 3 watching film. I was watching a game, fell asleep.
I'm like, fuck, this ain't it. So today,

Speaker 3 I got me two shots of espresso. I'm on the road right now.

Speaker 1 Because I saw on February 6th, that was yesterday, you said winners don't sleep.

Speaker 1 Hashtag no sleep. Yeah.
But then you fell asleep right after you sent that. Some would say that that's a fraud move on your part.
No, this is the thing.

Speaker 3 Me meaning winners don't sleep, we don't get eight hours of sleep.

Speaker 3 That's on a normal day, whether I'm having fun or partying or not. I don't, the most I sleep is like

Speaker 3 five and a half to six hours.

Speaker 1 Do you always do you do hashtag rise and grind or like do an Instagram video from the gym?

Speaker 3 No, I do punching in the clock. I put the boxing gloves in, punching in the clock.

Speaker 1 You have to let everybody know that you're working out. Yeah, yeah, as usual as possible.
Then you roll over and go back to sleep.

Speaker 1 That's the move.

Speaker 3 That'll be contradicting, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the way to do it. That's the way to do it.

Speaker 1 All right, I got one last question. It's a SeatGeek question.
Promo code take. You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
So

Speaker 1 every time you guys went down, you went down in every single game, game, double digits, I would tweet, thanks for coming out, Chiefs. Basically, being like, you guys are toast.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes then would go and like that tweet right after the game. Sometimes, I think, in the locker room.

Speaker 1 Do you think I deserve like maybe a little bit of your Super Bowl bonus for always doubting you guys and being the worst gambler/slash jinxer of all time?

Speaker 3 Oh, shit. I didn't know you was doing it.
That is why.

Speaker 1 You probably, for a moment, you were like, it feels like there's like a higher power helping us here.

Speaker 3 That was me. I did.
That was me.

Speaker 1 I am terrible at gambling.

Speaker 3 I felt that energy, man. Yeah.
Because when I walked in, I'm like, oh, shit, I feel the vibes. Yes.
Who is this high-power motherfucker? That's me. Oh, my God.
But you know what?

Speaker 3 You know, we needed y'all, man. A lot of people doubted us, man.
Me. Yes.
Shannon Sharp fucking.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, I'm going with my boy, my homies. We get to the Super Bowl.
He's talking about, I'm going with Guapolo. Like, that's fake love right there.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Out of all respect, I do respect Shannon, but that's just fake love. You know, you're going to roll with us, roll to the wheels fall off.

Speaker 1 That's what I did. Big cat Shannon Sharp, public enemy number one.
He totally took the Titans in the NFC Championship game. You took a future on them and everything.

Speaker 1 He's lying. If you remember what I said, he's lying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 And also a future on them to win the Super Bowl. He's not a fan of them to win the Super Bowl.
So yes, he did.

Speaker 1 He's completely lying. You bet it.
Was it Ravens future to win the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Not the Ravens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is. He didn't have the rating.
That's He's making that. That's much as me.

Speaker 1 I was never a doubter. See that jersey behind you? Anthony Sherman?

Speaker 1 That's our guy. He said I suppose.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. Sherman, he went crazy, too.

Speaker 3 Everybody went crazy. But damn, I didn't know y'all was down us like that, man.

Speaker 3 My question is, y'all didn't think we was going to win the championship after we broadcasted what we had last year.

Speaker 1 We only got better. I never doubted.

Speaker 1 I said in November, this is when Andy Reid goes on a run. I said it.
I mean, but

Speaker 1 I said it.

Speaker 1 No, remember because you were like a physical run? And I was like, no, not a physical run.

Speaker 1 No, I thought you guys were always a good team. I mean, there was other good teams, too, but you guys are the best.

Speaker 3 But my thing is, we was good with injuries. Cat Mahomes missed a couple games.
We still won.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 3 I missed a couple games. We still prevailed.

Speaker 3 Y'all didn't think when everyone got healthy that we was going to be better?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, of course. Yeah, you guys were Super Bowl champs.

Speaker 3 We haven't lost lost a game with everyone's healthy.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Wait. Yeah, that's true.
That is true. Yeah, we didn't lose the game with everyone.
When was the last game you guys lost? To the Titans? Yep. Titans.
Yeah, that was a weird game.

Speaker 1 That was a very weird game.

Speaker 3 Frank Clark was hurt. Yeah.
He only played 16 plays. So you can just...

Speaker 1 Oh, only 16? So he wasn't hurt.

Speaker 3 He was hurt enough to, you know.

Speaker 1 He was hurt not.

Speaker 1 He was hurt, man. He wasn't 100.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My last question. How long after the Super Bowl did it take for Andy Reed to put on shorts?

Speaker 3 I don't know. He probably walked to the bus in shorts.
Andy ain't no suit type of guy.

Speaker 3 Only on certain occasions. He's more so of

Speaker 1 the.

Speaker 1 He's a casual guy. Casual male.

Speaker 3 You know what? He loved the button-ups, the short-sleeve, though. Yeah.
The button-up. You know, let his chest hair stick out.

Speaker 3 Pokey in the eye sometimes.

Speaker 1 Did you guys stay in Miami on Monday night?

Speaker 3 We left Monday.

Speaker 1 Oh, you left Monday. I thought maybe you would party Monday night in Miami.

Speaker 3 That That would have been fun. Oh, no, man.
I had to take this team playing back so I can get back to this parade.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it seemed like a pretty damn good time. All right.
Well, Chris Jones, thank you so much for stopping by. Good luck with the contract.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're going to get paid, so that's fucking awesome. Congratulations on the contract.
Let's say it that way. You're one of the best players in the NFL, so you deserve it.

Speaker 1 And you're Super Bowl champ.

Speaker 3 Man, I appreciate it, man.

Speaker 3 It still haven't set in yet, but I'm still trying to embrace it. Fuck, we're Super Bowl champions.

Speaker 1 Maybe if you sleep for more than like eight hours, you're still orgasming right now. Yeah,

Speaker 1 when you stop him, coming.

Speaker 1 Post-nut clarity.

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Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on one of our best friends, recurring guest, Josh Josh Allen. One of? One of our best friends.
Not best friends.

Speaker 1 You're in our top eight. Boy, it's MySpace.

Speaker 1 Jared.

Speaker 1 I make the top friends page. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you're in our T-Mobile

Speaker 1 five. What are the five that you can call for free? I was saying MySpace.
Okay.

Speaker 1 It's you and Tom, the guy in the white shirt that's writing on the white page. You're in the top five.

Speaker 1 So it's great to have you on. We have a lot to discuss, and I think the most important thing we need to discuss

Speaker 1 that lateral. Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What were you doing?

Speaker 1 It was.

Speaker 1 I actually stood up out of my couch. I was like, no, what? And was screaming.
It was kind of an awesome moment. Kind of a fuck it, like, fuck it.
Let's just do it moment.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was crazy, huh? Yeah. I tried to channel my inner Reggie Bush there.
Yes. I said that.
I was like, it's a Reggie Bush moment. No, it wasn't my finest moment, but I kind of just saw him.

Speaker 1 And, hell, if I would have given a good little pitch, Dawson might have been able to go. Yeah, I actually thought it.
I thought it was a good idea.

Speaker 1 I think that more teams should do downfield laterals. It happens in rugby all the time.
And if you can hit somebody in stride, it's usually a touchdown. Yeah.
So, like, I admired you for that.

Speaker 1 I'm with you. I'm on your side.
I'm on the side. I don't want Big Cat to talk you out of trying another lateral in the future.

Speaker 1 I can't promise that I'm not going to do it, but I don't plan on it. I was cool with the way it should happen.
Something happened in that game where it was just chaos everywhere.

Speaker 1 And the lateral was part of that.

Speaker 1 and it was just like what's going on right now i i appreciate the like whenever an athlete's like fuck it let's just do it like let's just try this kind of make a play right was uh coach pretty mad at you after not really no oh well after the game obviously we're all pretty disappointed it wasn't like a

Speaker 1 that was your fault like right but a pretty awesome season overall like that was a i i know it's always you know you get to the playoffs you lose in the playoffs you can't say it's a success but it was a success for buffalo because you guys are building something uh Walking away from that, were you able to like a week or two later be like, hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 Like, that was a pretty awesome season. You know, to kind of sit back and reflect and to realize how young our team is and to get to 10 wins and how we did it, there is a lot of room to improve.

Speaker 1 And that's the good part for us, that we did have this type of season. And we've still got a lot of improvement to make.

Speaker 1 A lot of places we can grow. And obviously, with our offseason coming up and with our front office, and

Speaker 1 they've been fantastic and bringing in the right guys in our locker room is pretty good right now. And

Speaker 1 you know, I got a lot of guys in there that I'd kill for.

Speaker 1 You'd murder for them.

Speaker 1 Potentially. Potentially.
I like that.

Speaker 1 One certain situation. What type of murder? Like, we're talking bare hands,

Speaker 1 defense.

Speaker 1 Self-defense, yes. You would murder for...

Speaker 1 You're a good leader.

Speaker 1 They're on the train track. Devin Sigilterry has been tied up on a train track.
You'd murder the train. I'd stop the train.
You'd stop the train before it hit him. Correct.
Okay, like that.

Speaker 1 Frank Gore is locked in a room and the oxygen is being slowly sucked out of the room, and the only way you can get into that room,

Speaker 1 the only key is embedded inside Tom Brady's heart. And you have to stab him and

Speaker 1 cut the key out to get it. Do you kill him?

Speaker 1 I love Frank Gore. Would you murder that? Would you murder Tom Brady?

Speaker 1 Frank Gore is one of the coolest human beings.

Speaker 1 He's the man. He gave me a signed 49ers jersey for Christmas.
Because I grew up a huge 49ers fan.

Speaker 1 I grew up having his jerseys and and wearing them and going to the games and having 21 on my on my chest. So

Speaker 1 that's cool. Are you going to root for the Niners?

Speaker 1 On Sunday? We'll probably run this after the Super Bowl, but it's kind of weird because now you're obviously in the NFL. So are you going to sit there and be like, I kind of hope the Niners win?

Speaker 1 I mean... Or is it AFC Pride? Well, I kind of, like, I'd rather.

Speaker 1 Don't you want the AFC not to win?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I like to just pretend it's like college football. Because they're closer to a rival than the Niners would be.
Right.

Speaker 1 Plus, people are always like oh Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen have the biggest arms in the league so you don't want him to be you don't want him taking that crown

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 okay okay yeah see room for the niners yeah I'll say

Speaker 1 but I don't know I've got some different different ideas what the game could happen and what could what could go it could go either way they can um Going down the stretch this season, I noticed something like a little bit different about your play.

Speaker 1 You've always been a good runner, but you started to run a little bit more physically, where it looked like you were enjoying the contact sometimes.

Speaker 1 I think it was a Patriots game.

Speaker 1 That night game. You were like running into people and popping up and like drawing at them a little bit.
Do you like getting hit? So I didn't start off that game, Grand.

Speaker 1 I think I was started 0 for 3 or something like that. And I need one.
I need one to get me going. I do.
So, yeah.

Speaker 1 I need a little bit of contact to get myself.

Speaker 1 Human body craves contact.

Speaker 1 Coach Harbaugh taught us that. Swear to God.
It's true. You feel better.
I'm a big Harbaugh guy. Yeah, by the way.
Big Big Harbaugh guy. You are? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like I said, I was before the Love 49ers university. He was there, and he brought them to prominence.
And he seemed like a guy that players wanted to play for. Yes, absolutely.
Here's a good question.

Speaker 1 Your coach famously took the ping-pong table out of the locker room.

Speaker 1 The pool table. The pool table, sorry.
The ping pong table is still there. Oh, thank God.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought he took both out.

Speaker 1 Because I think maybe

Speaker 1 as long as I've been there, it's been right in front of my locker. Okay, so he was he the coach of the team for one year before you? Correct.

Speaker 1 All right, so I think what he did, if I remember my pro football talk correctly, I think he took both of those out, and then it sounds like he reintroduced the ping pong table

Speaker 1 to like foster a camaraderie. Was that something that you think actually helps your team being able to play ping-pong?

Speaker 1 Because I'm a big believer whenever a coach comes in and he's like, I'm going to clean up this locker room real quick. We're taking the pool table out.

Speaker 1 Was there a question in there? No, I don't think so. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I was, look, it's

Speaker 1 three o'clock on Friday. I didn't even notice there wasn't a question.
I was like, I'm not trying to say anything. Wait, that wasn't a question.

Speaker 1 My question is,

Speaker 1 how much do you wish the ping-pong table and the pool table were both back in the locker room?

Speaker 1 I wish the pool table was in there.

Speaker 1 How good are you at ping-pong? I'm pretty good. Okay, but I'm not top dog in our locker room.

Speaker 1 Matt Barkley or Steven Hausha. Oh.
And these guys, but kicker, kickers, Hank, yeah, that's all they're doing. They do lessons.
Matt, you take lessons, Matt. Let's be honest.
You take lessons.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I can look. Yeah, Hank does.
Matt,

Speaker 1 they have their own,

Speaker 1 one, their own ping-pong paddles, which are $200, $300.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they have covers

Speaker 1 of their ping-pong paddles. And then they have foam that goes on their paddles.
So

Speaker 1 they're in a different kind of world. I get the crappy ping-pong paddles in the locker room and I'll play well.

Speaker 1 We got a ping-pong table in the office. I'm also a kicker, and I also bought a $250 paddle

Speaker 1 in your case. You are a kicker.
Congrats on that paddle. I did? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you lose, that's so embarrassing. I know, but it's just crazy how he just absolutely nailed kickers right there.
God damn. We're fucking nerds.
Yeah. You actually bought the $250 paddle? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just because you thought it would give you an edge? Well, me and Jeff went halvesies on it. Oh, my God.
And then the international worst. That's where I was.
Tableton is kind of...

Speaker 1 No, but then they sent him one because they saw that we bought one. Yeah.
So now I've got my own. But that's worse that you were going to share a ping-pong paddle.

Speaker 1 In retrospect, you shouldn't share another man's paddles. Right.
What happens when you play each other?

Speaker 1 Well, he's got his own now.

Speaker 1 What do we happen? We had a handshake agreement. When we played each other, we would use the regular paddles.
So neither one of us would use a good one.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to believe anymore. You're getting verified.
You're buying fucking ping-pongs.

Speaker 1 Like, what is going on? I've changed, man.

Speaker 1 What is going on? I've changed. I'm corporate.
Damn. It's corporate.
If you lose, that's embarrassing for the whole brand. Like, I'm part of it.
My brand is losing. Right, no.

Speaker 1 I think it actually helps. But when you try and you lose, that's really what it's bad.
Yeah. Are we still doing an interview right now? Yeah, yeah, we are.

Speaker 1 You have a glow-up. You're looking pretty good.
I'm looking good? Yeah. What have you bought? Tell us.
What do you mean? Purchases. Anything.
Car, house, clothes. List them.
Bought this the other day.

Speaker 1 This is our portion called The IRS is Coming For You. I bought this the other day.
Nordstrom Rack. Okay, that's nice.
That's a nice Miami jacket.

Speaker 1 It's like a little understated, but a nod to the culture. Not too much.
Not too much, right? I'm not like the too much guy. Right, right.
You got the shirt underneath. How much was the shirt?

Speaker 1 Like a $78 shirt. Okay, not bad.
Just a plain white. Makes you...
That's the thing is,

Speaker 1 you obviously are in good shape. You're a tall guy.
You're a handsome guy. You can wear anything and look good.
I don't know. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 No, I'm getting a little.

Speaker 1 I'm a little tired.

Speaker 1 So, wait, so have you bought a house or a car or anything? I bought a house in Buffalo. Okay.

Speaker 1 Love that. Bills Mafia loves that.
Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 And then the car I bought, I bought a Range Rover.

Speaker 1 That was kind of like my dream car growing up. And then I now have a Ford Raptor Baja

Speaker 1 Shelby Edition. How does it do in the snow? Fantastic.
You ever? It is great. You ever open it up on the highway?

Speaker 1 No? No, definitely not. Oh, that thing.
No. That thing can move.

Speaker 1 It moves.

Speaker 3 It moves really well.

Speaker 1 It beats the Range Rover off the block. And I got the sport and it's dynamic and supposed to be super fast.
Sport? Yeah. It's like, what, 130? No, not that much.
Damn. Not that much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, the sports, you got the upgrade. What do you guys drive? I don't drive.

Speaker 1 How about interview you? Mazda CX-5, it's a compact SUV, very affordable. Do you even drive in New York though? It's the biggest policy car ever.

Speaker 1 I don't have a car. I bought a pair of those isometric shoes that you put on.
So that's how I get around mostly. Works the calves out a lot.
It's important to me as a kicker and keep on.

Speaker 1 Keep you on your toes the entire time. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. No, the Mazda CX-5, you know,

Speaker 1 they say it's an SUV, but really you can only fit like a baby and a small dog in it. They're like, oh, yeah, it's for family.
Do you have any babies? I have a baby now. And a small dog.

Speaker 1 And a small dog. There you go.
That's all you need. It's the perfect car.
Yeah. But yeah, everyone looks at me and they're like, dude, you couldn't get a real SUV? And I was just like, no, man.

Speaker 1 It's affordable.

Speaker 1 Trying to save the planet. Of course.
Good gas mileage on the highway. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Paper straws. Have you...
No, no, disadvantage.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying. That's what they do in California.
The people of Buffalo are not happy with you with that. I'm not a fan of them, but they give you paper straws with plastic cups.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's just like

Speaker 1 a duality of any sense.

Speaker 1 Have you picked a wing spot? Yeah. Barbilla tavern.
Which one? Barbell Tavern? Okay. Good place.

Speaker 1 Have you tried that? Yeah, the beef on lectures.

Speaker 1 What kind of wings did you guys have? We had a nice little spread. I think it was whatever.
Hot or super hot. I think not hot.
I think Eric would. Honey butter barbecue? Yes.
Cajun? Yes.

Speaker 1 Those are good. We had them all.
That one and Gabriel's Gate. Those are our two.
I have not tried Gabriel's Gate. Because you live in the outside.
I live in Park.

Speaker 1 Do you have a mug at Parbille? I do.

Speaker 1 Are you an alcoholic? No. Sounds like you drink a lot.
Wait, how often do you go there? Do you get recognized every time you go there, obviously? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And do people hassle you or are they cool about it? No, Buffalo people are cool, man. They're the best.
They'll come up. They'll last their picture and be on their way.
I sat down one time.

Speaker 1 They brought my mug over to me, and there's like 20 bucks in there from some fan. He just

Speaker 1 meets Cowboys. I guess so.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, Bill's Mafia, Buffalo people are like the best people on earth.
Yeah, they really are. The nicest people.

Speaker 1 So that doesn't surprise me that no one's bothering you. What was your favorite win this year?

Speaker 1 The Cowboy game was pretty fun, it being Thanksgiving and like growing up watching that game. Yep.
I had 30-plus people from back home there. So that one was pretty sweet.
The Pittsburgh night game.

Speaker 1 Yes. That was a very cool atmosphere to go in there.
Sunday night football was the first time the Bills have been on it since 2007, I believe. Yep.

Speaker 1 To go out there and win and clinch a playoff spot that night and to get home. And Bills Mafia was there at 2 o'clock in the morning, 30-degree weather.

Speaker 1 Waiting at the airport? Yeah, it was awesome. That's cool.

Speaker 1 John Lennon getting out of the plane.

Speaker 1 Now I was like the last one out, and I looked out. Hopefully, they're not as big as crazy fans as that John Lennon fan was.

Speaker 1 That would be bad. True.

Speaker 1 But in that game, I think the Steelers tried to play double renegade on you, right? They played Renegade twice to get their fans amped up. Did they really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I heard some story that maybe like your coaches played Renegade twice. We played it all throughout practice, yeah.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 So when it came on, Dable told me after the game, he's like, I didn't tell anybody as soon as that play or they turned that song on, I was going to go deep.

Speaker 1 So that was the play we called, and John Brown went up and got one.

Speaker 1 So Pittsburgh called that play for you by trying to beat you, they beat themselves. Correct.
Big brain. That's crazy.
Big brain. Yes.

Speaker 1 Are you worried a little bit about the hype train in the offseason? Which hype train? Bills. The one that we're about, the narrative that me and Big Cat are going to be creating.
Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 New website coming to the bottom? Yeah, Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 I'm not, no, I'm not worried about that.

Speaker 1 We understand what we've got to do.

Speaker 1 Good answer.

Speaker 1 All right, my last question. See, Keith question.
Promo code take $10 off, go to a Bills game next year. How often do people come up and mention the website?

Speaker 1 Not so much in Buffalo. Okay.
Anywhere else. Because they've drafted you.
Yes. So they don't have to talk about it anymore.
And they have the draft, we drafted Josh Allen. Right, that's right.

Speaker 1 We drafted that domain, someone stole that from us, right? Well,

Speaker 1 I think it was the Bills. Oh, yeah, the Bills.
We drafted Josh Allen. You should sue them.
Sue the Bills? Yeah. And I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but we also bought the domain.

Speaker 1 We drafted Josh Allen again just in case we took him at 90% of the time. That is crazy.
That would have been great.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 That's a good behind the scene scoop, though. That is a huge scoop.
Don't kill me, Kevin. They shook the red live for that.
All right, so people still bring it up, though, when you're

Speaker 1 especially Especially, so I went to Scottsdale played in the waste management the other day. And when you get a bunch of college kids out there,

Speaker 1 they know Barstall. Right.
So they listen to his podcast, and that's all they talk about. Josh, big hands.

Speaker 1 I did see you at that tournament. You tried to throw a guy through a table, but then it didn't really work, and you had to manipulate the legs of the table.

Speaker 1 Wasn't my plan? Wasn't my idea? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If it was up to me, I would have really thrown him. They were trying to do it as a little gag and set it up.

Speaker 1 And there's a wooden table, you know, and it wasn't the greatest performance, but. Your heart wasn't in it.
I didn't want to hurt the guy. Right.
Yeah, you got a big arm. But.

Speaker 1 That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is. Rocket arm.
Rocket arm. Wait, how far do you think you could throw for real? Have we asked you this? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 80-ish. 80-ish? Did you make it out of the stadium? Because I know that I saw you cock back, and after you scored a touchdown this year, you tried to throw it out of the stadium.
Oh, almost.

Speaker 1 I was like four or five rows to go. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 It was up there. And

Speaker 1 like in my mind, I was supposed to go probably 10 yards further and throw it from like the edge of the turf. Right.

Speaker 1 But I was so pumped up, I threw it like right at the end of the end zone, the edge of the end zone. And it got up there, but I got a nice little fine from it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's worth the fine. If you throw it out of it, that's worth it, though.
Yeah, you throw it out of the field, like that's going to be a legendary moment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You should do that every single touchdown that you run. Every single one? Yes.
We'll pay your fine.

Speaker 1 No, no, no,

Speaker 1 no, no, what the fuck? I'm not going to

Speaker 1 psych. You heard it.
Everybody in here heard it. Not.

Speaker 1 You're gonna pay it. All right.
I'm doing it every touchdown. I'm not paying for your fine.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 best of luck next year. If you guys get to a home playoff game, we will be in attendance.
We'll probably have to stay at your house. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to get that skill raptor for the afternoon. If the Bills have a home playoff game next year, we'll be able to.
I got bubble hockey down in the basement. Perfect.

Speaker 1 Listen, we're easy. You give us some sleeping bags in the basement.
We won't even be there. You won't even know we're there.
No,

Speaker 1 there's a story. The nicest room is in the basement.
It's a dark room, comfy bed, no windows, so it's dark. Right.
And it's cold. All right, so we'll all sleep.

Speaker 1 We'll all share that bed, and you won't even know we're there. Perfect.
Right, and we'll stay there for as long as we want. Well, as long as it's a playoffs.

Speaker 1 Well, as long as you guys pay my fines, you know. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 scratch my back. I'll scratch your back.
Yeah, I was lying, is the thing about that.

Speaker 1 I'm a big liar.

Speaker 1 You just don't take anything that I say to be the truth.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I already said psych, so I don't know why I'm even still defending myself. I think I was clear.
He needs his money for his ping-pong pen. Nice new era hat, by the way.
It's a cool new era hat.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Huge.
Thank you. New era.
Appreciate it. New era.

Speaker 1 Josh Allen, thank you, as always. Good friend.
Thank you. Best friends.
Let's go, Buffalo. Let's go.
I fucking love that. Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.
Fact. He's awesome.

Speaker 1 Actually, say that right into the camera.

Speaker 1 ASMR style? Yeah, yeah. Nobody circles the wagons.
Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.

Speaker 1 Stood up on the back of my neck.

Speaker 1 Lucy's the obvious choice for a true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports.

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Speaker 1 Gas station pouches get the job done, but once you've tried Lucy, you won't want anything else in your pocket. Okay, let's get some segments.

Speaker 1 First up, we have Way to Stay Relevant Baseball. You basically created a trade, hijacked

Speaker 1 everyone's attention with Mookie Bets trade to the Dodgers, and then spent the last week saying it's not official until now it's official. Yeah, it's actually great what they've done.

Speaker 1 So they took, what, five days of media coverage on this? Yes. They dropped it.
They broke Hank's brother's heart and Hank's brother's dog's heart. And then there was maybe

Speaker 1 some hope. And then, boom, it closed.
It's kind of been like, is it Schrodinger's arrow? The arrow that never arrives at its destination. That's what this trade felt like.

Speaker 1 If I followed this correctly, though, it's actually not the fault of any of the teams, right?

Speaker 1 Like the reporters reported it too early, and the teams never even told the players, like, hey, this is what's going on. So if anything, this is a put one in his earhole to journalism.

Speaker 1 Why don't you wait until we're ready for the trade to actually happen before you start announcing it? Because think about it.

Speaker 1 Like David Price probably had to look at private schools in LA for his kids. I don't even know if he has kids.

Speaker 1 He's not clutch enough to

Speaker 1 that was stressful as hell. And these people that are, you know, have hundreds of millions of dollars and might have to move to L.A., which would be awesome,

Speaker 1 they probably went through stress last week.

Speaker 1 It was tough for them for sure.

Speaker 1 But it's also been a great weekend for the people in Ken Rosenthal's mentions and John Heyman's mentions. These are my new favorite reply guys: the ones that just reply with announce so-and-so.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like announce whatever trade that they want to see happen. Yes.

Speaker 1 Like John Heyman is waiting behind the curtain, getting ready for it to just open so he can finally let people know that your favorite player is coming to your favorite team right now.

Speaker 1 It would be great if they actually held back and waited for like just one random person to, you know, like Seam Head69 tweets Jeff Passon like the 700th time on a Saturday, announced the trade, and finally he's like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to give it to him. I'll announce this trade to him.

Speaker 1 Here you go, Seam Head69. You asked for it.
You got it. It's delivered.
Mookie Betts is going to be a Dodger again.

Speaker 1 So Hank, now that you've had five days or however many days it's been to let this all process,

Speaker 1 any change in heart? No, I mean, I was very hopeful that when I saw that there was reports that the physical was failed, he might be coming back.

Speaker 1 I was thinking that they were going to like, the trade was going to fail, and the Red Sox were going to have had buyers or like sellers remorse and then actually give him the contract that he wanted.

Speaker 1 So I had that in my head for a few days, and now it's just like back to square one.

Speaker 1 It also didn't help that our friend Jared Caravas, who has a great podcast, Starting 9, also a Red Sox podcast, Section 10. I knew that.
I was getting. It's a Phoenix Suns podcast.

Speaker 1 Well, I was thinking Section 8, and they're like, no, that's Section 8 housing. So Section 10, I got it.
So Section 10, but he kept on doing the like, would be a real shame.

Speaker 1 And Jared's one of those guys who's in the know, but he doesn't break news. So he just lets you know that he knows, but doesn't tell you that he knows.

Speaker 1 He lets you know that something, something is happening that you should want to know about that he knows that he will not share.

Speaker 1 And it was the perfect, it was the perfect story that I didn't really care about this, but I saw peripherally, like, I would see Jared every few hours be like, would be a real shame.

Speaker 1 It's not official yet. And I'm like, but I'm not actually following it closely because I don't care.
So then I'm just in my head. I'm like, wait, is this trade just never happening?

Speaker 1 Here's something that we can all get excited about, though, is one of the players that they acquired, one of the youngsters involved in this trade is named Jeter. So the Red Sox got a player.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. Alex Vertigo.
Yeah, we disavow him. Disavow Vertigo.
Yeah, yeah. I'm disavowing.
Team Equilibrium. Yeah.
Is he a Red Sox now? Why are we disavowing?

Speaker 1 I think he's got another thing that I have not been following. I've been very peripheral on this.

Speaker 1 It's college basketball season and XFL started, so it was on the last of my worries. But I think there was something with a Snapchat video, maybe revenge porn.

Speaker 1 Wrong place, wrong time, but it might not.

Speaker 1 We're just going to go ahead and disavow. Okay, I'm just going to get ahead and do a blanket disavow.
Listen, as a big Red Sox fan and a big New England sports do-your-pod guy, I'm all about Jeter.

Speaker 1 Let's go Jeter. That's my guy.
Yeah, so we've disavowed. We're clean on that one.
But yeah, the whole thing...

Speaker 1 I mean, only baseball. Only baseball would have a blockbuster trade that didn't happen for five days.
And now all of a sudden, like, what the hell is going on? Oh, yeah. I forgot the thing.

Speaker 1 Like, I'll actually even think I won't really notice it until Mookie Beth puts on a Dodgers uniform. Like, oh, oh, yeah, that did happen.
Right. It felt like that old

Speaker 1 Pelicans trade out to the Lakers when it was going to be what, like, Chris Paul and like some blockbuster. When David Stern, when David Stern put the kibosh on it, helped, yeah.

Speaker 1 It felt like that's when he was starting again. He was a little bit of Pal Gasol.
Right. He had already put his finger on the scale that way.

Speaker 1 I don't think that baseball's commissioners are competent enough to actually

Speaker 1 be able to accurately manage a trade that would be a disadvantage to one of their premier franchises. I think they would find out a way to screw that up if they tried to meddle with it.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Okay, so that's that trade.
Hopefully that's the end of that, although I'm sure it's not. I'm sure we'll get more news.
Next up, we have Shoe Roast, Russell Wilson's photo shoot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's roast him a little bit. Now, Russell Wilson, I love him as a player.
He is a goober, but he's a goober. Well, he's a dad.
He's a goober. Russell Wilson is a dorky dad.

Speaker 1 But he was a dad before he was a dad.

Speaker 1 Of course. Yes, he was born a dad.

Speaker 1 He came out of his mom's vagina wearing new balances and like acid-wash jeans with cuffs on him. Yeah, he's a dweep.

Speaker 1 Every like two months or three months, he'll have a picture that comes out where he's just like trying to do a glow-up for the afternoon.

Speaker 1 I think sometimes Sierra is like, hey, by the way, how do you say your name? Sierra? Like Sierra Nevada? Sierra Mist.

Speaker 1 Sierra will be like, hey, why don't you put on a pair of pants that doesn't have an elastic waistband and let's do a photo shoot? And this was an all-time photo shoot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He, I'm looking at it right now. It

Speaker 1 It has some A-rod kissing the mirror vibes going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't, any photo shoot really is kind of awkward. It just like, you know what I mean? Like, when you do a photo shoot, no matter what, it's a little weird.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And guys with curly hair that straighten it out. Like, when PFT has done it a couple of times, it's just super, it's strange.
It definitely, yeah, it gives you like the willy. Right, yeah.
Right.

Speaker 1 No, that's a good point, Hank. Like, my hair is very similar to Russell Wilson's.
And when you straight, he looked like he was. Stay woke.
Isn't Coming to America 2 coming out?

Speaker 1 This might be a viral advertisement for Soul Glow.

Speaker 1 No, he, but he almost looked like

Speaker 1 he could be in like Boy Meets World. It had a Sean, what was that guy's last name? Sean, whatever.
Slater? No. Yeah, Sean.
He's too young. Sean.
Yeah, I'm not sure. Not Sean Matthews.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Sean Matthews. Corey Matthews, Sean.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 It does have a little Boy Meets World vibe. It's got a little.
Hunter. Sean Hunter.
I didn't look it up. He looks like a baby caterpillar, those fuzzy baby caterpillars dipped in Vaseline.

Speaker 1 How many baby caterpillars are you coming across? You've seen those fuzzy caterpillars, right? The ones that have like all the fluff on them. I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 I just don't know the last time I encountered one. Well, I live in New York, so I'm trying to think rats get to see any wildlife whatsoever.
That would be like a day at the zoo. Pigeons and rats.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He seriously is.
Like, actually, when you break it down, that's way more off-putting than Russell Wilson's haircut.

Speaker 1 The fact that I was just, when you just mentioned baby caterpillar, obviously I know what you're talking about, and I've seen him. And you miss baby caterpillars.
caterpillars.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I just miss seeing anything besides rats and pigeons. Right.
And occasionally, like a cockroach, he's like, whoa. Yeah, it's a big day.
You saw a cockroach.

Speaker 1 You put on your khaki pants and vest, and you're like, croiky, look at this.

Speaker 1 What's the coolest animal you see in New York City? Probably a diseased fish. Probably a...

Speaker 1 A diseased fish that got plucked out of the water by a bird and then dropped. Or like people with luxury dogs, like super rich people that have those crazy...

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was a French bulldog.

Speaker 1 A French bulldog with like a fendy vest on i was they look like it looks like a broom yeah a mop i was walking along the east river on saturday and this little kid was walking with his mom and he was like do you think like it's low tide do you think we're gonna get to see and i couldn't fully hear what he said and i was like oh my god is there like some kind of animal i'm missing on the east river and i turned around and he asked again he's like do you think we're gonna get to see the tires and i was like jesus christ that's really what we're like this is new york city low tide hey let's go down mom east river we're gonna get to see the tires because it's low tide That's New York.

Speaker 1 I don't know how we got here, but it needed to be well. We're discussing New York wildlife.
I think that we should do a show about New York wildlife. I mean,

Speaker 1 we kind of did when we went here. You know what we need to do? We did the Larry's pics with the rats.
The rats,

Speaker 1 we need to figure out what part of town has the biggest rats because I'm sure that there are different types of rats in different neighborhoods because they're colonies, right?

Speaker 1 I'd assume that they're all inbred in certain colonies, and then they probably get bigger the more outside of the downtown area. I would say closer to the electric plants.
Yes.

Speaker 1 They probably get bigger. The ones where their eyes glow.
Yeah, right. Yeah, their eyes get huge.
So, anyways, Russell Wilson looked like he was in a Prince music video for Monster Mash.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson looked like an animal we haven't seen in four years because we live in this hellhole of New York City. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, last up, we have Ass Eaton season for Phil Fulmer. He's about to eat.
eat all of his opponents' asses because Tennessee's back. Now, why did he say Tennessee was back?

Speaker 1 Well, they get a recruit. Here's the quote.
The Volves are back, and before long, we'll be taking a bite out of everybody we play his ass

Speaker 1 so it's like 98 it's a very it's a very southern way to say i'm gonna lick someone's butthole like putting so many different words in between the subject and the noun of a sentence yes like we're the team who loses to division one ass or one double a ass squads and uh probably will lose to vanderbilt again next year and our ass is clean it's i don't i also just i need to know tennessee is one of those programs that every like three or four years, they'll just declare that they're back.

Speaker 1 And it's like, no, you're not even close to back. Like, it's even less back than Texas is back.

Speaker 1 Texas, we joke about, but every now and then, Texas will put together a team where in September, you could at least give yourself the idea that they might be back. Right.

Speaker 1 Tennessee is like, no, it's not, we're not even joking.

Speaker 1 Nebraska can be like kind of back at some points. With Tennessee, it's kind of cute, though.
They're like, oh, we're back. 98 feels like 98.
That's really sweet. No, like, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 Tennessee will never be back, but we're not like threatened by Tennessee saying. No, I love burnt orange.

Speaker 1 There's one guy in my Twitter mentions all the time who's a Tennessee in the Carol Clemson fan. Be careful with

Speaker 1 that. When you get into the Pantone life, like you're dancing on the edge of that.
If you say burnt orange, yeah,

Speaker 1 you're going to get rightfully roasted. I think it's

Speaker 1 like volunteer orange. Who fuck cares? Now, say this: it does imply the color orange that Tennessee has, for some reason, implies a clean ass to me.

Speaker 1 When I see someone wearing that color, I'm like, they probably wiped really well. Yeah, it's a nice color.
It pops. Rocky Top, very catchy song.
Rocky Top is a very catchy song.

Speaker 1 I want the end zones are awesome. Really cool.
Smoky.

Speaker 1 Sneaky have like a salegate situation there, too. They had a salegate situation.

Speaker 1 Knoxville has that wonderful sundome from the World's Fair.

Speaker 1 You guys are claimed sometimes that you're a basketball school now, even though you have Rick Barnes as your head coach, which means you'll never win anything big.

Speaker 1 So there's some good things going on. You almost hired John Gruden.
You had Manning? You had John Gruden on campus, and then he said, you know what, I'd rather move to Oakland.

Speaker 1 Here's the, you are this, you are actually the best team run by Jimmy Haslam. That's a good point.
The Browns are worse. That's a very good point.
That's actually really nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You probably get the majority of Jimmy Haslam's time. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but you probably do.

Speaker 1 When John Gruden was on your campus, he said, you know what, I'd rather not work for an organization that has such a weird legacy of familial interference, I'm going to go work for Mark Davis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's perfect.

Speaker 1 I actually thought Josh Dobbs for a minute there was good. Josh Dobbs is okay.
I thought he was good. He had his moments.
You know what? Tennessee has, you know what Tennessee has?

Speaker 1 They have very good early in the season primetime game colors.

Speaker 1 So when you see them play in like week one or week two, and they're beating Little Sisters of the Poor by like 50 points, you're like, this team, this could be the year that they finally don't lose to Florida in overtime.

Speaker 1 You also, I remember when you had Claussen. Actually, you guys were kind of still decent then.
That was cool.

Speaker 1 Casey, I think. Was it Casey? Casey Claussen? The Volves are back.
And before long, we'll be taking a bite out of everybody we play's ass. There's our

Speaker 1 Tennessee. It wasn't even a roast.
We actually just complimented you guys a shitload. So good job.

Speaker 1 You guys are back. Feels like 98 is actually a cool thing to say.
Bless your heart.

Speaker 1 It's so fucking funny that Peyton Manning is like the best quarterback of all time for them, and then they won the title the next year. Right.
Peerless price. All-time name.
All-time name. All right.

Speaker 1 We'll see everyone on Wednesday. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say. I'm saving the way.

Speaker 1 Today is a mundane day of fine.

Speaker 1 Shot

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Shark of the

Speaker 1 break.

Speaker 1 worry.

Speaker 1 All coming here.

Speaker 1 We

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.