Von Miller, Super Bowl Storylines And Lebron Blames

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Super Bowl MVP. Many time Pro Bowler, Von Miller, in studio, recurring guest.
We've had him on a few times. He's always great to be on.

Speaker 1 We also have a new deal with him where we're going to get paid and maybe the listeners get paid if we can get Von Miller to run the ball next year in Vic Fangio's offense, which isn't really an offense, whatever.

Speaker 1 But if it involves running the football,

Speaker 1 then it is. We have Super Bowl storylines.
We have Hot Seat Cool Throne. We have Bachelor Talk, Guys on Chicks, a pack show for you.
The pipes are going to keep asshole. Football coming.

Speaker 1 Fucking A, Pete, you motherfucker. Everyone tweeted all business Pete right now and tell him to fuck off.
He's an asshole. It's so easy to clean these pipes.
So goddamn easy. Is it really?

Speaker 1 It has to be. Probably.
Has to be.

Speaker 1 Cleaning pipes, you would know.

Speaker 1 Clean the pipes of you. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go put in code Barstool.
You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, January 22nd, and we're going to do some Super Bowl storylines.

Speaker 1 Storyline City. Storylines before you even know that they're storylines.
It's actually gotten pretty predictable the last couple years. Yeah.
Where they're going.

Speaker 1 We usually get 33% of what we're going to toss out here is going to be put in your face by big national football media writers. So let's do it this way: let's knock out the low-hanging fruit.

Speaker 1 Let's knock out the ones that we know everyone's going to talk about, and then we'll get to maybe the more detailed ones that no one will be talking about except us.

Speaker 1 So, first one that we got to get out of the way: it's the redemption, the revenge, whatever you want to call it, for Kyle Shanahan, Andy Reid.

Speaker 1 Yes, big-time fuck-ups in big-time moments in Super Bowl history. Can they get over the hump? Can they get that big win?

Speaker 1 And I'm actually more excited for whoever loses this because now they're a choke artist. That narrative is going to continue.
It's going to be the Lamarification of what's going on.

Speaker 1 If Kyle Shanahan, for whatever reason, decides to have Jimmy G throw the ball 30 times, that's all we're going to be talking about for now.

Speaker 1 I think, luckily, the way this offense is built, he's made it impossible for him to forget to run the football. Correct.
So he's like, he's taking that out of his own hands.

Speaker 1 And also, Andy Reid, the other way. Andy Reed could throw it like, you know, 95% of the time and do the same thing to himself.
Yeah, that could happen again to him. Timeouts.

Speaker 1 I mean, the whole thing is going to be great. Also, with Andy Reid, I don't think anyone's going to blame him if he has Patrick Mahomes throw the ball like that.
No, true. True.

Speaker 1 So they've kind of both... gotten the way of our narrative, which I don't appreciate, but good for them for both doing that.

Speaker 1 I think a no-brainer, this is probably going to happen real early in the week. Peter King is going to talk about the Cuban coffee.

Speaker 1 Peter King's going to be writing about the Cortados, all the different sorts of Miami Arabic beans or whatever they're called. So that's going to be front and center.

Speaker 1 The first thing he notices is that. And then probably Cigar City micro brews are everywhere.
Ooh, nice. Wait, under redemption, we also have to throw in DeFord.
That's going to be a big conversation.

Speaker 1 You know, fucked up them going to the Super Bowl last year.

Speaker 1 People forget Tom Brady would have had an interception on that play if D. Ford's not off sides.
De Ford is now in this game going against his former team. Right.
That's a redemption.

Speaker 1 Now, likewise with Andy Reid, if he wins this Super Bowl,

Speaker 1 we're talking legacy here. Two questions come along with that.
One, Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 Is he a Hall of Famer if he loses? Yes. I think he is, too.

Speaker 1 But no doubter if he wins.

Speaker 3 Only three coaches in the Hall of Fame without a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 If Bill Cower's in the fucking Hall of Fame, Andy Reid should be in the Hall of Fame Fame. That's a good point.
Andy Reed should have been way better of a coach than Bill Cower. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I hope they make...

Speaker 3 Bill Cower one ring.

Speaker 1 I understand. Bill Cower has lowered the bar

Speaker 1 for the Hall of Fame. Bill Cower is basically like a few games over 500 lifetime, right? I don't know.
Jeff Fisher should be in the Hall of Fame. I agree.
Two Two wins away. From top 10 of all time.

Speaker 1 They should make Andy Reid's Hall of Fame bust out of butter. Like to do it at a state fair.
Yeah, Minnesota State Fair. Yeah.
Also, with Andy Reid, if he does win, are we talking retirement? No.

Speaker 1 Not with Patrick Mahomes. It would be nice.
It'd be one thing if it was like the end of the road, but this is... Andy Reid can coast with Patrick Mahomes for a while.

Speaker 1 But wouldn't that be great, though, to see him go out on top? No chance he's going out with him. On one hand, it would break my heart.
No. On the other, I get it, Andy.

Speaker 1 You know, it's going to reinvigorate him. He's going to be looking for more.
How about this this one, Hank? Best tight end in the league. Yep.
Or

Speaker 1 like the most gregarious, most eccentric, cool tight end. Kind of big, hard animals.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like meathead, but lovable.

Speaker 3 Best current tight end in the league.

Speaker 1 Travis Kelsey. Although George Kittle.
It's Kittle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it's definitely Greg Kittle, but that will be a discussion that will be hat.

Speaker 1 Another obvious one is the quarterback connection between San Francisco and Kansas City.

Speaker 1 Looking back throughout history, you've got Alex Smith, you've got Joe Montana, you've got Bono, you've got Gerbach. So for a while, Steve DeBerg.
It was what? John Boyce's article said it was what?

Speaker 1 149 wins with the X 49ers. So a 49er that was a drafted 49er won 149 games for the Chiefs, while a drafted Chief won zero for their three-decade span.
That's so impressive. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 There was, I think it was like 200, I wrote it down. It was like 261 starts by, or 231 starts by a San Francisco 49er drafted quarterback for the Kansas City Championships.
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 It's like the pipeline goes straight from San Francisco to KCC. Steve DeBerg had 52 starts and three postseason starts.
Joe Montana, 25 starts, four postseason starts.

Speaker 1 I mean, I was too young, but like Joe Montana going to the AFC Championship, kind of forgot that. Steve Bono had 31

Speaker 1 starts, one playoff start. Elvis Gerbach, 47, one playoff start.
Alex Smith, 76, five playoff starts.

Speaker 1 So literally for three decades straight, the Chiefs only had quarterbacks that were drafted by the 49ers. The best part about that stat, though,

Speaker 1 Brody Croyle, 10 starts for the Chiefs, drafted by the Chiefs, 0-10. Oh, no.
Yeah. So he ruined it.
I was hoping that he could have had one. Who's the combo breaker? He could have had one.

Speaker 1 Was it Heward?

Speaker 1 I don't know who exactly. Wait, no.
No, it's Patrick Mahomes who's the combo breaker. He was the first one to get started.
Yeah, because he started for Alex Smith.

Speaker 1 So they had their chance to get it. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's going to be funny. And also, because of the quarterback connection, we got to mention Joe Montana.

Speaker 1 Joe Montana doing a million interviews this week and saying, well, my team's going to win.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, that's going to be good. I'm excited for that.
From Joe Montana Bull. He already tweeted that.
So we're good.

Speaker 1 He's going to be walking around like a NASCAR driver this week, just with all the different sponsors doing any interview.

Speaker 1 Anyone that wants to stick a microphone in Joe's face just on the street, he will give you an interview.

Speaker 1 If you're you're a 49ers fan and Joe Montana doesn't say, I'm rooting for the 49ers, that would piss me off. Maybe it's one of the situations where it ended poorly and he switched.
Who cares?

Speaker 1 That would piss me off. If Joe Montana shows up to the Super Bowl wearing anything but a 49ers shirt, that would piss me off.
He should do the coin flip. Is he doing the coin flip?

Speaker 1 I'm sure he'll be involved. Okay, other stories.

Speaker 1 Super Bowl, I think Hank mentioned this. Super LIV and Live is one of the hottest nightclubs in Miami.
So they're going to get a ton of free promotions. Someone for like

Speaker 1 Sports Illustrated or maybe Wall Street Journal will do a The Real Live is here, like interview people at 3 a.m. drunk.

Speaker 1 We need to find out, Jake, if you're listening, how much free advertising is Live getting this week? Expected free advertising. Let's get on that before other national sports media journalists.

Speaker 1 On that note, I think it should be a Super Bowl story, but it won't be that it's bullshit that the Super Bowl logo sucks and has sucked for the last 15 years. Because they were kids, it was awesome.

Speaker 1 Now it's just the numerals in like steel, and it looks terrible. Yeah, it's like Roger Goodell found a font for the Super Bowl, and he's not changing it.

Speaker 1 If you're under the age of 24,

Speaker 1 go look at what the Super Bowl logos looked like in the 90s. It was cool.
They were sweet. And you could buy a hat every year because it looked awesome.

Speaker 1 It was cool when you used to be able to put the patches on your jacket. I love the guys, by the the way, that walk around

Speaker 1 with the Letterman jackets that have the patches from every Super Bowl. Their team's one.
Someone's out there look different. I think there's two guys that have gone to every Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 There'll be a story about them. But yeah, there's...

Speaker 1 It sucks now. The industrial complex of the Super Bowl has taken over, and it's just these huge fucking numerals, which I hate that part, too.
Just give me the numbers. Right.

Speaker 1 Because it always screws me up. But yeah, that should be a story.
What else do we have here? We've got Battle of the Fullbacks. Yep.
Big Battle of the Fullbacks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a big story. People People are talking about it.

Speaker 1 No, they already are because it's Jushek, and they always say he's going to be a story about himself because they're going to find out he went to Harvard.

Speaker 1 Anytime you can write a story about a football player that somehow went to Harvard,

Speaker 1 they're going to be able to write that. So

Speaker 1 it's going to be Sherman, Jushek, our fullbacks officially back. As first reported by part of my take last year, they are officially back.

Speaker 1 How about this fun stat for you? Ready for this? First time in seven years that the Super Bowl will not have LeGarrett Blunt or C.J. Anderson.
That is a very fun scene. Isn't that fun?

Speaker 1 That's fun, right? C.J. Anderson last year with the Rams.

Speaker 1 LeGarrett Blunt with the Eagles in 2018. Again in 2017 with the Patriots.
Then C.J. Anderson with the Broncos in 16.

Speaker 1 Blunt with the Patriots in 15. And then C.J.
Anderson 2014 with the Broncos. That's a fun one.

Speaker 3 It's crazy they never played in the same Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Right. That's just a random one.
I wish

Speaker 1 the Chiefs should sign C.J. Anderson right now.
I mean, they they can do it. Just to keep it going.
Pelichek used to cut a guy the night before the Super Bowl just for fun. Yep.

Speaker 1 That could happen this year. You never know.

Speaker 1 Oh, Sports Illustrated having a party on Saturday night, even though they laid off half their staff. Yeah, that's going to happen.

Speaker 3 That will be a big storyline.

Speaker 1 And see how many people from Sports Illustrated actually show up

Speaker 1 and think enough of their bosses to go to their own party. Darren Revelle rating the quality of females at different Super Bowl parties.
That's true. That did happen.
At Playboy? It's all time.

Speaker 1 Playboy used to be good. The models at Playboy used to be good looking, according to to Darren Revelle.
But when he got his invite to the Playboy mansion, hold on,

Speaker 1 I'm going to pull it up. It's an all-time, all-time.
Oh, here it is. Playboy not having gorgeous women.
Hold on.

Speaker 1 Playboy not having gorgeous playmates at its Super Bowl party does affect a brand that is already faltering. Hashtag reality.
Here's a reality.

Speaker 1 That's reality, bro. That's just fucking, that's reality, right? It wouldn't happen if he was alive.
No. No, no, this was actually in 2012, so he was alive.

Speaker 1 Hashtag reality.

Speaker 1 That really drives it home, actually. It's like, fuck, this.
Yeah, you're right, Darren. You're right.
Playboy, back when you used to.

Speaker 1 I guarantee you, Darren never hit a Playboy in his house. He probably walked up to a playmate and was like, can you do a quick spin for me? And took a quick note.
It was like, yep, not up to spinning.

Speaker 1 Not great.

Speaker 1 Not great for the D-Man. Yeah, let me see those heels.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Robert Sala. His birthday is this week.
Oh, he's in birthday week.

Speaker 1 So he was born on January 31st. Everyone's talking about his birthday.
Wow.

Speaker 1 So it's going to be, really, it's going to be Robert Sala and then Eric Biennemi going up against each other, two coordinators that were not offered head coaching gigs this offseason. Okay.

Speaker 1 Here's one I found. CBS Sports posted this one.
This one is very stupid, but I kind of like it. If Andy Reid wins the Super Bowl, it will be his 222nd career win.

Speaker 1 His second Super Bowl title because he won with the Packers as an assistant coach. And it will come on 2-2-2020.
A lot of twos.

Speaker 1 Well, so dovetailing off that, the Super Bowl is going to be played on a palindrome this year. So it's 02-02-2020.
Same forward as it is backwards. Wait, but it's not 2-0-2.

Speaker 1 Wait. Yeah.
0-2-200. 02-0-2-2-0-2-0.

Speaker 1 But if you go backwards, where are the other zeros come from? 0-2-0-2. Oh, I see where you're going to see.
2-0-2-0.

Speaker 1 I still am missing the, - if you go backwards. Okay, so if you

Speaker 1 write this down on a piece of paper, do a little visualization. Okay, ready? I got it.
0-2.

Speaker 1 0-2. 0-2.
Oh, yeah. 2-0-2-0.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 I'm going to count the zeros in there. Oh, the zeros at the front.
I was, yeah. Yeah, February is the 02nd month.
I don't put those zeros in. I just go two.

Speaker 1 Also, it's being played. I wrote that.
On Groundhog's Day. Speaking of Groundhog's Day, the last time the Niners.
Wait, it's being played on Groundhog's Day? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Speaking of Groundhog's Day, the last time the Niners played a Super Bowl in this stadium, they won.

Speaker 1 So is history going to repeat itself? That's interesting. 1994.
95.

Speaker 1 95 Super Bowl, 94 season, Chargers, monkey off their back, Steve Young. Neutron means business.
That's right.

Speaker 1 And in that time, the Niners have not won a game in Miami Stadium, the Hard Rock Stadium, whatever it was called before.

Speaker 1 They have not won a game since 1995, so it's been 25 years. Damn.
The Chiefs, on on the other hand, are 8-3 in that stadium, which is a fun fact. That is brought up.
Marlins Man, just him in general.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jeter. Jeter.
Marlinsman's cats.

Speaker 1 Cocaine. Someone will write a story about the cocaine.
Yeah. Jimmy Garoppolo's dad is named Tony, like Tony Montana.
Tony Garoppolo.

Speaker 3 Everything will be spelled

Speaker 3 in the Miami Vice

Speaker 3 text font. You'll get everything.

Speaker 1 That will be cool. Jimmy G is now in Miami, which is the home of Brazzers.
So it's going to be like a kid in the candy store type thing. Yeah, it's a home game for him.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Some people are talking about this. I don't know if a lot of people are, but some people are saying this is the Big Ten Super Bowl because

Speaker 1 the teams that have the most players represented, Iowa has four players, Penn State has five by far the most. Right.

Speaker 1 And that's another bull victory for the Big Ten. Also, the Bears gave their best players to the 49ers, and they took the worst play caller from Kansas City.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So now Kansas City is in there because you guys got the six.

Speaker 1 And the Bears' ex-players also played for Big Ten schools, Purdue and Penn State. Good point.

Speaker 1 And the Chiefs wouldn't be in the Super Bowl if the Bears didn't draft Mitch Trubisky instead of Patrick Tisback. Actually, Will Brinson had a hot take.

Speaker 1 I got tagged on a tweet that he said that if Mitch Trubisky got drafted by the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes got drafted by the Bears, Mitch Trubisky would be better than Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 That is quite a take. It's an institutional failure.

Speaker 1 Which I I actually agree with that kind of thing. I like that.
That's a very, very good thing. You make every quarterback shit.

Speaker 1 Best take of the week so far, Stephen A. Smith.
Got to take your hat off to him. He's the best in the business for a reason.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He said this morning that if the Chiefs had Alex Smith, they would be in the Super Bowl as well. So is Patrick Mahomes a system quarterback? Yes, he said he's great, but it's really

Speaker 1 the skill players that make him great. They're fast.
He's good, but they make him great. They're fast.

Speaker 1 Another one, we've got Texas Techs own Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Miami is the closest city to where Mike Leach lives.
That is definitely going to be a storyline.

Speaker 1 100% of the storyline. Someone will write that story for sure.
It definitely will. Also, congratulations to the municipality of Miami, the city, whatever it's called.
Dade County.

Speaker 1 Dade County, this is your 11th Super Bowl. This puts you number one.
Wow. In the history of the universe.
Number one in the universe. Most Super Bowls.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are giving out number one in the universe these days.

Speaker 1 do you think anyone will write the enjoy this miami super bowl because with global warming there may not be another one yes yes we should write that we'll get that take and we'll get the uh the chiefs need to change their name take yeah like what is what is what has changed since the last time miami had the super bowl well the water has risen and now you know all these houses are going to be submerged next time we have it there's they should actually give like they should announce the nfl should announce that the super bowl is going back to miami in like 2060 so that we can then write all the stories be like probably not going to happen I like the Chiefs one that one for sure we we've talked about that before but if you get in to a championship game if you're the Indians the Redskins the Braves Chiefs you will get the scoring I actually think that there's only one way that those teams will change their names and that's if there's a C Words R Words Super Bowl where they play against each other I think at that point the NFL will be like hey guys

Speaker 1 it's it's fine to have one of you here. Now it's like everyone's talking about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Too much of a good thing, Mr. Snyder.
There'll be

Speaker 1 the zag of everyone saying, well, this is the first of many Super Bowls for Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 And then someone will say, well, are we sure that it's the Chiefs that are going to go on a run or is it the Niners that are going to go on a run? Mm-hmm. Because they might be set up better.

Speaker 1 We are going to get some Dan Marino, never won a Super Bowl talk.

Speaker 1 Poor Dan.

Speaker 1 Let me just say, if you're thinking about going there, don't. Dan is a good player.
He's an even better person. He is so even-keeled, mild-mannered.

Speaker 1 Happy-go-lucky. This is not on him.

Speaker 1 The mayor of Miami. Yeah, everyone thought he was going to go to multiple Super Bowls.
They'll have Don Schuler come on after you choke that way. Oh, Mercury Morris.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Speaking of cocaine, might be in here just sometime this week. Call that his own Super Bowl.
Okay, we got any others? Hank, do you have any? The first Super Bowl. The Patriots aren't in in a while.

Speaker 3 No, that's, I mean, it is what it is. Everyone will be talking about the Andy Reid losing the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. You do get a little bit of runoff by having both coaches have their biggest loss be against the Patriots.

Speaker 1 You're going to have Richard Sherman, the picture of him staring out onto the field after Russell Wilson threw that INT. Yep.
Richard Sherman bet on himself stories. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, Richard Sherman is going up against.

Speaker 1 A quarterback. No, I was going to try to work in a Russell Wilson angle, but that's not working out here.

Speaker 3 The other thing with Patrick Mahomes and this will be the first of many is that you'll get that, and then you'll get people immediately saying, well, they said that about Aaron Rodgers and and Mike McCarthy and they never got back.

Speaker 1 True, good point. That's all right.
Richard Sherman teaming up with Jimmy Garoppolo, who beat him in a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 There it is. Yeah, I like that.
There's some good storylines. It's going to be a great week.

Speaker 3 I'm excited to watch all the people slip up on Greg Kittle.

Speaker 1 That'd be funny. Greg Kittle, Greg Kittle.
Greg Kittle, Greg Kittle. It's happened a couple times now.
Antonio Brown's going to work his way in there somehow. Oh, man.
No, he's going to be.

Speaker 1 Oh, he lives in Miami. He got arrested today.
Yeah. Okay.
So. Or he's about to get arrested, as we see.
Sure. Yeah, you could say that at any point.
And I'd be like, yep. He's currently.

Speaker 1 Hey, did you hear about Antonio Brown? He's about to be arrested on Instagram Live. Yep.
Makes sense. Makes perfect sense.
The Greg Kittle thing, though, we are killing that.

Speaker 1 Like, it is slowly seeping into the world. I saw it.
I like it. I saw Mike Golick said.
Mike Golick. Did Mike said it this morning? Like editors.

Speaker 1 And it's one of those things that I've actually started to question myself sometimes when I say his name. I'm like, wait, is it? Oh, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 If Joe Buck, do you think we can get Joe Buck to say it? Yes, we're going to... We're going to basically just do the meow game with Joe Buck.

Speaker 1 We'll have him on this week, and we'll just say Greg Kittle so many times that he doesn't know up from down.

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Hank, hot seat cool thrown.

Speaker 3 My hot seat is UNC basketball.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy, they stink.

Speaker 3 Things are real bad in Chapel Hill. They're dead last in the ACC.

Speaker 1 Roy Williams.

Speaker 3 Behind Wake Forest.

Speaker 1 Great coach. Behind everyone.
Great coach.

Speaker 1 Has Coach Kay ever been last? Dead last?

Speaker 3 No. No.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Definitely not. Good thing that.

Speaker 1 That's because Roy Williams doesn't cheat, and so he's being surpassed right now with everybody that plays fast and loose with the rules.

Speaker 3 Roy Williams is so bad. It's gotten so bad that Roy Williams thinks he might die before they ever get good again.

Speaker 1 Like he had a quote where he said,

Speaker 3 everyone says, well, you got help coming. And he said that I hope I'm going to live long enough to get there.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. Tough times in Chapel Hill.
Real tough times. I'm not sure.
Coach Case just keeps jumping along.

Speaker 3 He wouldn't give up on a season like this.

Speaker 1 No, he would not. Numbers never lie.
That'd be great if Roy Williams faked his own death. That would be fantastic.
And then came back to life as soon as they started getting good again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, I don't think you can be accused of an NCAA infraction if you're dead. That's

Speaker 1 true. Hey, people.

Speaker 1 Trust me. It's like the Aaron Mandis thing.
Trust me. I'm

Speaker 1 a technicality. What's that called?

Speaker 1 Not arbitration. Abatement.
It's abatement if you get accused. But I bet you that the NCAA has like death goons that go after you even after you're dead.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They definitely. They just, yeah, they remove all sorts of banners.

Speaker 1 They take the rings that you take with you in the casket away. Great hot seat, Hank.
Thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cool throw. That was great.

Speaker 3 It's getting the gat.

Speaker 1 Get the gat.

Speaker 3 Getting the gat is this could be a hot in the streets, but it's the new hot in the streets dance.

Speaker 3 LSU's football team has kind of you know made it famous but they were the ones that were doing it that they had that video in the white house with the random like i don't know if she was on

Speaker 3 we can say i don't know i just random lady it was either random white house she was hot assistant aide or football random white aide lady hot lady she was someone yeah she was a smoke but it was like it was she was what she was a smoke aaron lorell said that helps the program she looked polite uh so that video went viral and it's just like now all the teams are doing it it's the new dance get used to it you'll be seeing it probably until like summer 2020.

Speaker 1 What does it mean when they go get the gat and then they put their fingers out like that? What does this mean?

Speaker 3 I think it means like get the gun. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And then get everybody down. I'm shooting it.
And you get the gnat. First, you get the gat, then you get the gnat.

Speaker 1 I got it. That's all it is.
Right there. Then you get the money, then you get the power.
Yeah, then you get the sat because you're tired from getting the gat. So you sit down and just hang out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Exactly. That's right.

Speaker 3 So good and the gat, cool throne.

Speaker 1 All right. Good hot seat, cool throne, Hank.

Speaker 3 So it was a great hot seat, good cool throne.

Speaker 1 No, both were great.

Speaker 3 Then why'd you say good?

Speaker 1 Because the second one was good. So, yeah.
Right. All right.
Great.

Speaker 1 Good. Okay.
My hot seat is iguanas.

Speaker 1 Iguana's on the hot seat big time because it's going to dip below 40 degrees.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 1 That's a different one.

Speaker 1 Those were iguanas.

Speaker 1 Wise or. Yeah, those were iguanas, though, too.
I don't think the iguanas said was up, did they? Was up iguana? I think so. Those are just dudes.
I thought. Oh, they were dudes.

Speaker 1 I thought they were pros. I thought they combined them and they were.

Speaker 1 you're forgetting

Speaker 1 which tagline goes along with which. No, but then they combine them all.
Listen, I know that there are a lot of animals that drink beer in these commercials.

Speaker 1 Bodwise?

Speaker 1 Okay, so iguanas. So the iguanas are falling out of trees in Miami now because it's so cold.

Speaker 1 Oh, so once temperature drops below 40 degrees, iguanas, since they're warm-blooded, they just stop being able to move, so they get paralyzed and they just pass out and fall.

Speaker 1 Wait, it's going to be cold there? Right now it is. Tonight it is.
So if you're walking under a tree in Miami. I love that, so I can wear a sweatshirt.

Speaker 1 Bring your umbrella because an iguana might fall on your head. Yeah, the iguanas did some was up.

Speaker 1 Except me, all right? Come on, just once. Okay.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 1 Oh, that was horrible. I'll leave you alone.
Oh, man. You stink that's what's up.

Speaker 1 That's what's up. They basically combined them all because they're like, this is all working really well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so iguanas, there was a while, there was like a 10-year period where Budweiser could do no wrong with any of their ads. No matter how bad they were, it's like, that's a cool ad for Bud.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the guy sitting at home.

Speaker 1 They used to have a pit bull that just got fucked up all the time. Yeah.
It was great. Beer ads are the best.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My other hot seat is Chad Johnson. Oh, Chad Johnson, because he didn't show up for his XFL trial, unlike me.
He had it booked for Monday.

Speaker 1 No showed because he knew that there was a superior alpha that had already gone down there and kicked the shit out of balls. So he's a coward.
He's a coward is what he is. So Trante Cinco

Speaker 1 over Ocho Cinco. That's Mr.
35 to you, Chad.

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne is

Speaker 1 sex because Tim Tebow had sex.

Speaker 3 Finally.

Speaker 1 Our long national nightmare is over. Tim Tebow got married, put his penis inside of his wife, and then they had sex until he orgasmed.
That sounds like a lot. Do you think that you are better at that?

Speaker 3 He might not have even made it inside before that happened.

Speaker 1 That's true. I was going around telling people, I'm like, I think I'm better at sex sex than Tim Tebow until he has sex the second time.
Yeah, he probably was better the first time than me.

Speaker 1 Like, right now. It'd be great if he was just like a starfish and he was

Speaker 1 just bad at it. That's the one thing that Tim Tebow is bad at.
No, you know, he's not good at baseball. Yeah, it's true.
He can't hit a fucking fastball. He's not, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's getting moved out the triple line. He's better than Jordan.

Speaker 1 No, he's not. Better than Jordan at baseball.
Yeah. No, he's not.
Oh, the stats will bear me out. No.
But, you mean, Jordan did it in the middle of his career. Tebow's already.

Speaker 1 Tebow tried to start his own extra career. Jordan got suspended and had to go play it against his will.

Speaker 3 Ever since I heard that Sean Payton wanted Tebow to beat Taysom Hill and he turned it down, that's changed my view of that.

Speaker 1 That is a big time. That's true.
So we know that

Speaker 3 NFL and be playing as Taysom Hill.

Speaker 1 So I am better than Mixon Tebow because he won't switch positions. It is crazy that he just wouldn't do anything but be a quarterback.
Like, dude, you stink at being a quarterback.

Speaker 3 But you could be a quarterback slash athletic guy.

Speaker 1 Right. Quarterback slash ATH.
He should have been a fucking tight end. Yeah.
He would would have been a beast.

Speaker 1 What a shame. What a shame.
Well, now he's having sex. Yeah.
So he's just like us. He's confirmed not a virgin anymore.
All right. My hot seat is Andy Reid's diet.

Speaker 1 So Andy Reid was going on a diet and then like within 30 minutes said that his celebration was going to get a big cheeseburger on Sunday night.

Speaker 1 So that diet don't last. That's just dinner.
Yeah, but that diet didn't last. So I'm happy that it didn't last.

Speaker 1 Are you expecting out of all the choices he could make in the Kansas City Stadium and Arrowhead Stadium Concourse, a cheeseburger is pretty good. Yeah, it's true, but it's just funny.

Speaker 1 He did a chili milkshake. He literally gave one interviewer, he's like, I'm going to go on a diet, and then someone was like, what are you going to do after this? He's like, cheeseburger.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe it's

Speaker 1 no fries. Spin zone, that's keto, if you can eat the bun.
No fries.

Speaker 1 He didn't say, I just ate a cheeseburger with a bun. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, no, no. You're right.
He didn't say cheeseburger and fries, cheeseburger with a bun. He just said cheeseburger.
Carb-free Andy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine the visual of Andy Reed taking the bun and throwing it out on a cheeseburger? No.

Speaker 1 I can't. The only way I can picture that is if it's whole wheat.
Oh, man. Or sesame.

Speaker 1 Even sesame

Speaker 1 picks every sesame off. Is this a vegetable? A tiny little 100 vegetables on my bun?

Speaker 1 My other hot seat is books. Did you see the guy who rips his books in half? That was the dumbest thing ever.
Wait, like strong dude? No, this guy was like, hey, does anyone else do this?

Speaker 1 But I rip my books in half to

Speaker 1 along the seam so that they're easier to transport. So he reads half, and then when he's done with the first half, he takes the second half and reads that.

Speaker 1 He takes both halves with him at the same time? No, no, no. He leaves one half at home.
What if you get halfway done?

Speaker 3 I thought he brought both. I thought it was like a pound of pound of iron or a pound of feather situation.

Speaker 1 I'm so confused. There's only one specific point in time where he'd need both, right?

Speaker 1 I guess. Like, if you can time it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you'd time that out. Like, I'm getting like a drink.
Like, you're switching reels on a film character. Right.
Yeah, that's too much.

Speaker 1 Because for me, if you give me any bit of daylight to stop reading, I'm not going to pick up. No, it was a hilarious visual.

Speaker 1 I think it did fall under the category of one of those fake viral things where someone's like, anyone else put mayonnaise on their,

Speaker 1 I don't know, fill me in here.

Speaker 1 Their toilet water. Anyone else wipe with mayonnaise as a lubricant? Yeah, you leave.

Speaker 1 Anyone like to leave a thin layer of mayo out in the sun until it dries and then sprinkle it up and use it to wipe your dairy air? Right, and that goes viral.

Speaker 1 So there was a part of that, but he also was kind of a weirdo, so maybe it was real. But it was a very funny thing.
He He just had all his books ripped in half, just tearing the shit out of books.

Speaker 1 Yeah, although that is pretty badass if you're walking around with books that are torn up, and you're carrying them for books. That does look cool.
Also, it looks like you hate books.

Speaker 1 There's this thing called the Kindle. I don't know if you've heard of it.
It has every book ever. It just looks like you're frustrated trying to read.

Speaker 1 All right, my cool throne is

Speaker 1 the NFL Draft because it's cool again. It has.

Speaker 1 Is this real? Yeah. 100% real.
I think so. The NFL draft is going to have a stage in the Bellagio pool, and players are going to be transported in a boat, which they should have to row.

Speaker 1 Break the movie. Odell Beckham has just re-entered the NFL draft.

Speaker 3 Well, there should definitely be props on which players are going in the water. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is Fred Smoot walked so the NFL could run. That's right.
A little love boat action going on. You should be able to get your rocks off on that boat.
Yes, absolutely. Let's see.

Speaker 1 Who are going to be the top 10 picks? Who's most likely to fall? Joe Burrow.

Speaker 1 Jordan Love has 10 and 5'8

Speaker 1 hands. Did you see that? That's pretty good.
10 and 5'8? Yeah. Problem.
Those are huge, monster hands. He's going up the draft board.

Speaker 1 That's pretty sweet, though, getting a boat ride up to visit Goodell. Yeah.
I hope somebody pushes Goodell into the water.

Speaker 1 Just dunks him, gives him a swirling. He literally just ordered him into Bellagio.
Yeah, you could. I saw Hank's Ofing.
So this is what I'm worried about.

Speaker 1 We're on the cross of what could be a national nightmare here with this NFL draft because in the past, we've had Chicago, we've had Philly, we've had New York, we've had Dallas.

Speaker 1 Every single one of these cities has gone out of their way to boo Roger Goodell. We might not get a good boo in Vegas.
I don't think the people in Vegas should.

Speaker 1 One, because he just gave them an NFL team. Two, because

Speaker 1 you're too happy in Vegas to want to boo anything.

Speaker 3 Counterpoint PFT.

Speaker 1 He's just booing numbers that pop up next to roulette wheel.

Speaker 3 Last weekend, there was an event in Vegas. Who received the biggest pop in the crowd? Tom Brady.
What does that tell you?

Speaker 1 He's going to be the Raiders quarterback.

Speaker 3 No. Oh.
They're going to boo Roger Goodell.

Speaker 1 Oh, got it. Okay.

Speaker 3 What about the Raiders? A plus B equals C.

Speaker 1 Derek Carr. Him and Gruden.

Speaker 3 I hope Mark Davis. Living next to each other.

Speaker 1 Mark Davis should come up. Mark Davis should be driving the boat.
He should be.

Speaker 1 Because it would definitely be. They should give him a duck boat, which is like a conversion van that he drives into the water that's been retrofitted with a motor.

Speaker 3 You guys went against me, though, when I said this, though. If Brady, like, I wouldn't even be mad if he went to the Raiders.

Speaker 3 And if he went to the Raiders, like, everyone would be rooting for the Vegas Raiders.

Speaker 1 You would be.

Speaker 3 John Green and Tom Brady. If Tom Brady can do whatever he wants, if Tom Brady is like, I thought about it, I made my decision.
What I wanted to do was be with Brady.

Speaker 3 It's like, you can't, I would never be like, Tom, what the fuck? Fuck you. Whatever Tom Brady wants to do, he can do.

Speaker 3 And if he decides to go to the Raiders, which would be shocking, that team would be electric.

Speaker 1 I would agree. It would be very well liked.
Absolutely. You know what they need to do?

Speaker 1 They need to have Mark Davis as like one of those gondola guys in Italy that's in charge of paddling of super long cameras. With the striped shirt.

Speaker 1 The striped shirt. He's skin tight.
He's smoking a cigarette. He's got a bottle of wine.
And he just takes you by gondola up to Roger's Count. Need it.
Need it. Need Mark Davis somehow involved.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview with Vaughn Miller. What's up guys, it's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.
How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, here he is, Von Miller.

Speaker 1 You want to bench after?

Speaker 1 I'm good. What? What is it? Off-season.
You haven't started your off-season program? No, I ain't started it yet. You probably don't even lift anymore.
Are we good to go?

Speaker 1 All right, well, this is Von Miller. He hasn't started his off-season program.
We can run it in hot. What's up with that?

Speaker 1 I actually have started my off-season program, but I haven't gotten into the weight room yet. Oh, it's a mental thing first? It's like,

Speaker 1 like in San Francisco,

Speaker 1 we do like stairs and and we do like stairs and like weight ball training and like push-ups and like pull-ups. To be honest, I haven't really got on the weights yet, though.
I like that.

Speaker 1 That's like my off-season training before I get in the weight room is just putting on gym clothes and like sitting in my car outside the gym. And then going home.

Speaker 1 That's the mind

Speaker 1 for a month, and then you go in the gym. Well, it's like a three-step process.
It's like what Big Cat described, getting mentally prepared to be in a gym, seeing yourself in gym clothes first.

Speaker 1 The second step, take a bunch of pre-workout, go to the gym and then just sit on the toilet for an hour yes get let your body acclimate to all the caffeine and stuff

Speaker 1 that's basically it but i got a i got the pro bowl and the super bowl that kind of like interrupts it so right i don't really go like too hard before then because i'm gonna have to take time off to go to the pro bow or the super bowl and then after that i take another week off and then i get back in are you gonna are you gonna go all out in the pro bowl this year Yeah, I always do.

Speaker 1 I mean, everybody else is just chilling. I mean, it's an easy MVP if I go hard.

Speaker 1 That's probably a check, too, right? Because MVP gets like a car or something. It's a car and stuff.
I got a car already because, you know, I went hard.

Speaker 1 Did anybody say anything to you when you were going hard in the Pro Bowl? They're like, hey, yeah, I got a little bit, and I had to apologize to a couple of guys.

Speaker 1 But I already told them before, like, I don't, like, when I play, I don't know anything else. Like, I would love to, like, you know, go out here and half-ass it with you.

Speaker 1 But I tell the guys beforehand, and

Speaker 1 this is like my sixth Pro Bowl. So this is like my eighth Pro Bow.
So everybody already knows.

Speaker 1 You forget how many Pro Bowls. Six eighths, whatever.
I just got on the phone with Cortland suddenly he got um he's going to the pro balloon. They just announced them today or yesterday.

Speaker 1 They just announced them yesterday, and he asked me what was his advice. I said, hey, just chill all week, and then when the game comes, go hard.
Go hard. Go hard.
I feel like that.

Speaker 1 That's a valid point, though, because if you don't play hard, aren't you more likely to get injured? No, not in this game, because they kind of blow the whistle kind of quick.

Speaker 1 You know, you got to think about it. You got a lot of stars out there.
You don't really, really want to see anybody get hurt. Right.
But

Speaker 1 yeah, like sometimes in a real game, if you, if you like half-ass it out there, like you got a higher chance to get hurt. But with the Pro Bowl, everybody's half-assing it, so you'll be good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So we have Von Miller.
He is an eight-time Pro Bowler, future Hall of Famer, Super Bowl MVP. You know, he's been on three times.
He's here with myglaucoma.com. Go check it out.

Speaker 1 We're getting some glaucoma awareness going on so that people can know more about glaucoma. How many people have glaucoma? 70 million people worldwide.

Speaker 1 And of those 70 million people, 27% of those people go blind and one eye within a 10-year span.

Speaker 1 Can we get myglaucoma.com to maybe put a link to the podcast on their site so 70 million people go and then also subscribe? Maybe a little collab. I mean, we got to.

Speaker 1 We scratched my back, we scratch yours. We got to talk to them.
But

Speaker 1 glaucoma is a real, real like crazy, serious disease. It makes doing like

Speaker 1 everyday stuff, everyday lifestyle stuff, like cooking or driving, like really, really tough. And is it treatable? It is.
It is treatable. It is treatable.

Speaker 1 But like I said before, 27% of these people are going to go blind in one hour or another. It's real serious.
All right, so go to myclockcoma.com right now, learn more about it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Vaughn, you've been on the show many times. I actually was going back and doing some research on what we talked about the last few times.

Speaker 1 I want to read a quote for you. Maybe it's not a direct quote, but something you said in March 2018.
You said Mitch Trubisky is going to be great.

Speaker 1 Do you still think that? Yeah. Okay, great.
Great.

Speaker 1 I mean, he had good spurts, all right? Yes.

Speaker 1 He had good spurts. I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't even think he would tell you that he's a finished product yet. Yep.
But he has a lot of potential. He's football young.
And he's done a lot of great stuff for the Chicago Bears.

Speaker 1 So he's just got to keep going. I like your attitude.
So you also have to. I know quarterbacks.
You have a young quarterback. So let's talk about Drew.
I know quarterbacks, and I can see them.

Speaker 1 Like, I sack them, and I can see them, and I know the good ones from the bad ones.

Speaker 1 Mitch is definitely not bad, but our guy, we got a rock star. Rock star.
We got a rock star, like owning off the football. Joe Flacco, you're talking about.

Speaker 1 It's his birthday today, bro. Drew Locke.
Would you like to say hi to Joe? Joe Flacco?

Speaker 1 You should FaceTime him, right? Happy birthday, Joe. Yeah.
Happy birthday, big dog.

Speaker 1 But Drew Locke. Drew Locke.
We were early adopters of Drew Locke. We just thought he had Moxie right off the get-go.

Speaker 1 You know what it was? When you said he throws a hell of an incomplete pass after like one practice, I was like, okay, that's how you know. If somebody looks good throwing incompletions.

Speaker 1 He like scrambled out and ran around, shook one dude, went to the sideline, and he threw it and the receiver just barely missed. And I was like, bro, that's looking good.
It looked good.

Speaker 1 I was like, bro, that's crazy. That's how I got right here.
Sometimes it's better to throw a good-looking incompletion than a bad-looking completion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
100%. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe not for like moving the football. Not in turn, but in practice.
If you throw like a duck and it's incompletion, it's like, okay, it's just, it's a matter of time. How many times can you do that?

Speaker 1 Somebody picked it off. If you throw like a really nice pass and it's incomplete, you're like, okay, this guy got something.
He just missed. Okay, so he's a rock star.
So you guys are set there.

Speaker 1 When did you first know that he was going to be good? Man, to be honest,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 to be honest, like, when he came and I saw him throw the ball and just, I saw his, I saw his demeanor with the other rookies.

Speaker 1 Because when rookies come in, they don't really kick it with like the vets off top.

Speaker 1 They got like their own little cult that they kick it with and they like tell jokes and then like they're all like together by themselves and stuff.

Speaker 1 And I like watched him and like he was like the leader of the rookies and like off top from day one and um everybody just kind of gravitated towards him and i saw him in practice you know people people not might not see me but i see everybody on the football team and like i just i just saw him and i just knew it off top like he was good in the locker room everybody loved him and that's the number one sign off top you gotta you gotta be likable you gotta be likable and he was definitely likable he was talented And we got him on Scout team.

Speaker 1 He was going crazy out there. I'm like, yeah, this is the guy.
That and being able to sing along to

Speaker 1 young Jeezy on the sideline?

Speaker 1 But he was doing that before he got to the Broncos. It was just that day made it really, really big.
That and being tall, too. John Elway likes him real tall.

Speaker 1 He's not that tall.

Speaker 1 No, he's not tall enough to say that. He's probably like 6'1 ⁇ .
Yeah, he probably likes 6'1. Yeah, John Erwer's gonna give him that shit.

Speaker 1 I'm 6'3 ⁇ . Okay, so John Elway, does he walk by and he's like, good job, Von, you're 6'3.
And he likes that. No, I mean,

Speaker 1 he gives you eyes. Like, okay.
But I tell you, 6'3.

Speaker 1 As my career has progressed and the more time I spend with the Denver Broncos, like John is like super cool.

Speaker 1 He's super cool. He knows the players.
If you talk to him, he's going to talk back to you. At first, you're like a young player.
You're like, I don't want to. It's John Elway, the legend Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 Like, I want to stay out of his way. I hope he don't see me.
And then, like, over time, it's like, bro, like, he's human just like everybody else. Yeah.
He see it like how we see it. He's super cool.

Speaker 1 And you guys had a good end of the season. You kind of turned it around at the end of the season, which, I mean, does that, you've been in a lot of teams now.

Speaker 1 Do you, does it carry over from year to year? Like, are you going to go into OTAs being like, hey, we had something cooking at the end of the season?

Speaker 1 Nothing carries over except experience, right?

Speaker 1 And we definitely had a lot of experience. We definitely had our battles with adversity.
And I feel like that adversity has really built character on our team.

Speaker 1 We got a lot of young guys, and there's no way that we know how to do it right unless... We went through what we went through.
Right. I feel like next year,

Speaker 1 everybody has confidence. Everybody excited.
Everybody's excited. Everybody knows what we can do when we're on.
And we got a great offensive line.

Speaker 1 Garrett Bowes played out of his mind towards the end of the season. We have Juwan James back.
We have Bradley Chubb back. Phillip Lindsay is coming back.

Speaker 1 Noah Fent was just crazy all year. He was just like crazy in Spurs.
And he's going to be year two next year. Then we got Cortland Sutton, of course.
And on defense,

Speaker 1 we got Kareem Jackson. Hopefully we can get Chris back, Justin Simmons.
Then the draft is coming up. And, you know,

Speaker 1 we're going to get all type of dogs. We're going to be ready to go.
Yeah, staying inside your division. You've had a rivalry for a few years now with Phillip Rivers.

Speaker 1 You've been getting after him a lot. Are you going to miss it at all if he's not in the division? Yeah, I'm going to miss it.

Speaker 1 He's a Hall of Fame quarterback in my eyes. He's a great quarterback.
And it'd just be weird to look at the San Diego Chargers or the L.A. Chargers without...
Phillip Rivers.

Speaker 1 He's just so intertwined with the franchise and the organization. So that clip went viral of him talking some trash with the jet in the Jaguars game.
Has he ever talked trash to you?

Speaker 1 Has he ever said anything to you? No. But like, yeah, I guess he has.
Yeah, I guess he has. It was one game, and I kind of like yanked him up.
Like, hey, you know, but. What did he say?

Speaker 1 Because he doesn't swear. So that's probably more annoying.
I forgot what it was. He was just like, he hit me late.
Because I kind of, I really, I'd like to be honest, like, I hit him late. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the ref didn't call it. Right.
And he was like in the ref face at first, and then the ref didn't listen. He was like directed towards me.
And it was just like. Like a rage splurge.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just one one of those things like my coach told me like my fresh like my rookie seasoning he was like you would never get ejected if you just grabbed a guy and i just like i just grabbed him right that's all it was mother freaker that's yeah god dang it yeah

Speaker 1 what you doing what you doing von you you son of a gun uh how are your chickens doing they're doing pretty good oh i know they're marshary chickens yeah greener greener pastures chicken you guys should check it out we got a humanely raised product we got an organic product pasture raised non-gmo you know and in today's uh in today's world everybody wants to know where their food is coming from.

Speaker 1 And at Green of Pastures, we got you covered. When Marshawn said, take care of your chickens, were you like, yep.
Like I eat. Like I knew Anstrick.

Speaker 1 I was like, I got to make a meme to this. Yeah.
Like, right when he said it, I got to make a meme to this. Did you make a meme? Yeah, I made a meme.
Take care of your mentals and your chickens.

Speaker 1 It did pretty good, too.

Speaker 1 I'll be the judge of that. Let me look at it.
Is it on your Twitter? Yeah, it's on my Instagram. Instagram.

Speaker 1 Do you do your own Photoshops?

Speaker 1 No, I got a group. I got my guy right here to help me with it.
Okay, oh, here it is.

Speaker 1 Marshawn Lynch, y'all take care of them chickens, Von Miller, and there you are in the back of a pickup truck with a chicken that's a pretty good laptop pretty good meme pretty pretty well yeah that's a pretty good meme they told me they was people like the people on my social media team they was telling me not to post it and i was like no this is gonna go crazy

Speaker 1 and i posted it and it went crazy so i got the i got the vote on that one yeah absolutely um

Speaker 1 do you when when vic fangio has a kidney stone, passes it, goes to the hospital, then coaches at night, does that pump up the team? I never even realized it. Really? Like,

Speaker 1 he's such a writer. He's, like, such a writer.
He didn't show any facial emotion. Like,

Speaker 1 he didn't say anything to the team. Like, he was just so gangster about it and, like, coached.
And then went to, and just, he was just there like nothing happened. Like, Jesus.
Soldier.

Speaker 1 Did he eventually pass that thing? Yeah. I think he did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know that it was the night before the Hall of Fame game, right? And so he just coached that entire game, just dealing with the pain. Just think about it.

Speaker 1 You know, head coaches don't sit down for three and a half hours.

Speaker 1 right so he just like so stoic and gangster just walking around he had a kidney stone do you like playing for a guy like vic who's you know old school defense passing kidney stones that kind of shit yeah i love i love coach fangio and really i like the way that we've molded our coaching staff we picked up pat schumer we got uh mike munchak we really got three head coaches on the roster and i like that and we got john lway leading the ship so i'm pretty excited where we're going with our organization yeah uh we were at the national championship game on Monday night.

Speaker 1 Odell Beckham got it in the news. He was handing out cash there.
If Texas A ⁇ M ever wins national championship, you're going to be in the locker room handing out some cash?

Speaker 1 I personally am in favor of it.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 yeah, I probably would, man. I probably would.
Just look up for the cameras. I just don't do it on camera.
I had the same question, but it was phrased differently.

Speaker 1 It was, how much cash have you given out to the good players on Texas A ⁇ M?

Speaker 1 I haven't given out any money. You sure? We're trying to get another headline.
We're trying to get that headline bump again. Well, I mean, like, but it was fake money.

Speaker 1 It was fake money. No, no, it was fake money.
It was fake money. It was fake money, big guy.
We had Joe Burrow on, and we, and he said it was real. He said it was real? Yeah,

Speaker 1 so we fucked that up. Yeah, it was our fault.
So that's really, actually, the only lesson is that if you give away money, just make sure we don't do an interview with anyone on Texas the day after.

Speaker 1 And you'll be fine.

Speaker 1 I mean, but we don't know if it was real money or fake money. No, you don't know.

Speaker 1 And then, like, knowing, like, knowing like Odell, like, personally, like, he probably, it was probably just like a stunt. Like, he knew the camera was right there.
Yes. He's very, very observant.

Speaker 1 He probably did that on purpose. Like, gave him the fake money to make everybody go crazy.
Agreed. Agreed.
It was all fake. That's the party line that we're sticking to, by the way.
It's all fake.

Speaker 1 It's all fake. Don't worry about it.
Move along. I actually think it's horseshit if the NCAA actually investigates it.

Speaker 1 This should be a great example of one scandal they should choose to overlook. Just close your eyes to it.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it's probably at max

Speaker 1 $700 fake dollars. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I heard it was $300 fake dollars.

Speaker 1 It was $300 fake dollars back.

Speaker 1 He also is wearing, I see everyone wearing these man purses now. Is that like the new, can I, you think I could rock one?

Speaker 1 It's a fanny pack around your... This is a saddlebag.
Oh, a saddlebag. So it's like a gun holster type.
So it's way more manly than that. Yeah, no, but Odell had that.

Speaker 1 He had the fanny pack around the shape of the

Speaker 1 green one, right? Yeah. Yeah, Odell's swag daddy.
This one is like, I'm from Texas.

Speaker 1 I want one of those.

Speaker 1 It looks like I got a pistol in there. Yeah, I don't.
I really don't. It's the second time you got much firearm.
Are you carrying a firearm right now? No. It's New York.
It's New York.

Speaker 1 I had a gun here for three years. I don't have it for three years.
I got these guns. Oh, there you go.
Damn. Flexed on us.
We haven't been working out, so that wasn't even a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not really, not real weight room working out yet. Right.
But if you wanted to right now, you could bench a shitload. I'm not really a big bencher, though.
Why does everyone say that?

Speaker 1 No athlete benches anymore. You guys are all betas.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 I just, whenever I get under the weight like especially when people like watch me in the weight room they're like bro like von like i thought he lifted more than that but then we get on the football field like it's totally different it's all about bend it's not about would you say you're country strong i i would i would say i'm country strong i i would think like in the moment like i can pull it out i can like put it out there

Speaker 1 but i just feel like in the weight room is just so much going on loud music pre-workout guys yelling like i just really can't get into it i guess yeah do you like going to practice and having like a loud speaker system set up and practicing to I do, but with Coach Fangio, we don't have any of that.

Speaker 1 Right. It's quiet practice the whole time.
We play music like when we when we stretch and stuff at the beginning, but when practice starts, there's no music. Uh, have you been watching the playoffs?

Speaker 1 Do you watch football when you're not playing it? I watch the playoff football. Okay, you watch playoff football.
Derrick Henry.

Speaker 1 Do you think that you could be Derrick Henry if you just, you know, things have gone a little different? Because you guys are actually kind of the same size. You both run to 4-4, 4-5-40,

Speaker 1 and you're both beasts. You just play on the other side of the ball.
Maybe you should be a running back.

Speaker 1 I don't want to take anything away from what Derrick Henry has done and make it seem like it's easy to do because what he's doing is really special.

Speaker 1 So, I wouldn't say like I could be Derrick Henry like that, but that would be crazy.

Speaker 1 But I feel like I would be the Von Miller of running backs if I was a running back because I always thought, like, in my heart, like, I would play running back or like quarterback.

Speaker 1 Well, it's funny because we were having the discussion like a month ago how at some point some coach wanted Derrick Henry to switch positions and he just didn't.

Speaker 1 Like you probably had a spot where it's like, hey, I'm going to be a linebacker, but you guys kind of are the same size, speed, strength, all that.

Speaker 1 You just, you're a linebacker and he's a running back. That's crazy.
And running backs do really well, like rushing and passing. Did you see last year in the Pro Bowl? Like Zeke and Alvin Kamara.

Speaker 1 Those guys went crazy like rushing the passer. So I can see Derrick Henry really being successful with rushing to pass.

Speaker 1 So maybe you need to become, maybe they need to get a couple play packages in there if you on the goal line. I know, right? I should come up up with something.

Speaker 1 Really, we should wait till the Titans win the Super Bowl, and then I'm going to go in. Yeah.
And I'm going to go in the same time. But like, see, we can do the same thing.

Speaker 1 We're the same size. We got the same shit.

Speaker 1 And also,

Speaker 1 you have zero carries on those knees. No.
So you're fresh. I'm ready to go.
You're ready to go. All you do, you change your Twitter bio so it says linebacker slash RB.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then next contract comes up, they have to pay you like a running back. They have to.
So you get that money, you double dip on that, and then here's how you make the transition. You say, coach,

Speaker 1 let me get some reps in a fullback. Right? You ease your way in there.
They let you play fullback. And then one time they give you the ball on a fullback dive.
You get your one opportunity.

Speaker 1 And then you break that off 15 yards or 20 yards or more. Then they're going to give you the ball more often.
You know what?

Speaker 1 I've had this pitch for about since we won the Super Bowl and I got like a new contract. I went in and I was like, hey, like.
I should be playing offense in the goal line pass. Yep.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I shouldn't be like, if you put me in there, they automatically don't think I'm getting the ball. Then you just scheme up the play to go the opposite way and it'd be crazy.

Speaker 1 And like the offensive coordinator, Tommy kind of like looked at me and thought about it, and he was just like, No. Why? It's crazy.
Every year they shoot me down really quick.

Speaker 1 They don't even listen to my argument. It's crazy.
Like, if you went through the roster, I'm sure there's many times in your career where you are the best all-around athlete on the roster.

Speaker 1 Why wouldn't she want you on the field more? I'm with these guys. I'm with these guys on the field.
Like, I practice with these guys. I practice with Alexander Johnson.
And I practice with

Speaker 1 Todd Davis. And I just don't feel like they can cover me.
Like, Like, they can cover other tight ends, but I just don't feel like they could.

Speaker 1 I don't feel like they could cover me. Todd, I said it.
AJ, I said it.

Speaker 1 I just don't feel like they can cover me.

Speaker 1 And those guys are really good linebackers, so I know if they put me in the package, I would kill other teams. Right.
The bad linebackers you'd eat alive. I would kill them.

Speaker 1 Von Miller to be running back next year. Make that headline.
Well, Von Miller wants some offensive plays. We can get that for you.
I can play tight end, too.

Speaker 1 Now, how much of your contract will we get if you do that?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure we can set up something in the future. Like, it's got to be like, I score a certain amount of touchdowns and like incentives.

Speaker 1 And then on the back end of it, like, then I could come back to the barstool guy. Okay, but how about this? How about this?

Speaker 1 As your agent, I'm going to give you permission to negotiate your own contract

Speaker 1 like Richard Sherman did based on incentives. But then I get 10% of all those incentives because I'm your agent.
I told you to do that.

Speaker 1 You lost me on that. Let's make it simple.
I'm going to make it very simple for you.

Speaker 1 Here it is. Ready? If you score a touchdown on offense, there's got to be more than one.
No, no, just every single touchdown you score, you give each of us $1,000.

Speaker 1 I like it. Done.

Speaker 1 Now we have something to root for.

Speaker 1 It's the four of us, so there's $4,000. So when do I get if I score a touchdown, though? Are you going to score a touchdown?

Speaker 1 Any good friendship is like... Give, receive.
Like, I'm giving you $1,000. We talk about it on this show.
We're like, Vaughn, and everyone's rooting for it now.

Speaker 1 Because all of our listeners, everyone who follows us, will be like, give Vaughn the ball, give Vaughn the ball, because they know that we can get money. And so now we'll get you the ball.

Speaker 1 And I'll send you a t-shirt. Yeah, I can tag the clip and put it on your Instagram.

Speaker 1 You'll get clout. We'll send you a shirt with a picture of you scoring the touchdown.
I feel like, you know, $1,000 for marketing and put. I feel like

Speaker 1 easily, you're now getting the buzz. Oh, that was so.
I should have done more. Fuck.
I meant $5,000.

Speaker 1 I was just looking for something to say deal because I feel like $5 would have been a little much. I mean, you know, we already signed the deal now.
Yeah, we did. We did.
Everyone saw it.

Speaker 1 Handshake this. It's illegal tender.
It's legal. If you score a touchdown offense, now we got to figure out a way to get into the offensive coordinator's head.

Speaker 1 Who's your offensive coordinator? Pat Shermer. Oh, yeah, Pat Shermer.
Pat Shermer. How do we get into it? I've been very nice about the things I've said about Pat Shermer.
We all have.

Speaker 1 I love Pat Shermer. And John Elway.
I love when he pops.

Speaker 1 Pat's tough. Yeah, no.
And John Elway, too, would be good. All right, so we've got to figure out some way.
I'm going to get into John Elway's head.

Speaker 1 Just remind him that Vaughn's tall. Yeah.
Yes, Vaughn is tall. We're going to start a publicity campaign reminding John Elway that you're

Speaker 1 everything that Vaughn is taller than.

Speaker 1 don't think like I really don't think like any of that stuff will bother like John he's just like so like he's just like gangster and like hall of famish yes

Speaker 1 that's aura to him yeah he's he's he's he's special I don't really think like you know any of this stuff really bothers do you uh still talk to Peyton at all yeah I talk to Peyton I talk to Peyton probably like

Speaker 1 say like every four months whenever I see him all right so we need to get you with Peyton and Peyton practicing some handoffs with you a little viral video that's what I'm saying. I like it.

Speaker 1 That'd be good. And everyone says, oh, man, Vaughn's looking explosive.
I should get that started. Like, getting do like a whole Instagram, like

Speaker 1 Instagram, what is that? Instagram TV, like video, make it like seven or eight minutes. Yes, Vaughn training to be a running back.
Give Vaughn the ball.

Speaker 1 Hashtag give Vaughn the ball so we can get cash. Because you know, Peyton, he doesn't have any social media.
So whenever they see him on Instagram or Twitter, like those posts go. Crazy.

Speaker 1 Those posts go crazy. Hashtag give Vaughn the ball.
I like it. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Do I got to pay y'all for that too? No, that's not. No, no, no, no.
That's our part of our deal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You get our brain. We can give it back to you.
I mean,

Speaker 1 do you want to pay us for it? No, no, I was just going to pay for it. How much cash you have to do with the payment? I was just wondering.

Speaker 1 I was just going back over the contract and I was just trying to see if that was in there. Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how much cash you got in there? Oh, no. I got about $100.

Speaker 1 And a far. That's a lie.
That was such a lie. No, for real.
I got like $100. That was such a lie.
I don't lie.

Speaker 1 That was such a lie. Except according to

Speaker 1 his Merce.

Speaker 1 I got his man purse. $130.
So you lied. I was a little bit under.

Speaker 1 I was a little bit under.

Speaker 1 All right, Vaughn, I think that was all my questions, and now we're going to get paid. Yeah, we're good.

Speaker 1 They should also be able to draft you in fancy football next year, too. I know, right? Since you've stayed your intention of carrying the ball.

Speaker 1 They should have me like there on a little alternate or something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, I have one last question. Seek geek question, promo code take.
Put it in. You get $10 off.

Speaker 1 What's the new fashion trend that's coming up? Because I feel like you're always ahead of the curve. I noticed stopped the glasses are a little bit smaller now

Speaker 1 not the clear ones you're always kind of ahead of it where you got the next fashion so what what should we be looking for cargo pants honestly you know i appreciate all that stuff working about fashion and me being fashionable and stuff but i really just buy what i like and cargo pants i'm gonna try to bring back

Speaker 1 i feel like camo cargo pants oh yeah well you gotta you gotta go to baltimore for that yeah that's what yeah big big huge in baltimore ravens flock i noticed that yeah you're hatless now Is hatless a thing?

Speaker 1 No, I just was going on the media stuff right here. And, you know, I usually wear it.
I've been traveling around.

Speaker 1 I was in San Francisco, and then I went to New York, and I'm going to Orlando next week, and then Miami, Miami, after that. So just carrying around like big hats is like a hassle.

Speaker 1 Well, you're invited to our Super Bowl party. I appreciate it.
Where it's at? I don't know where it's at, but... Can I do that? You could get behind the booth.
Yes, I'll let you get behind the booth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let me do like 30 minutes, 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 Let me open up. Yeah, why not? 20.
Fuck it.

Speaker 1 It'd be crazy. I mean, like, Von Miller Super Bowl, sure.
MVP, former Super Bowl MVP at the barstool. You're going to want to be there.

Speaker 1 That'd be crazy. We have Rough and Rowdy.
So we have the fights. We have a boxing match, like 13 of those, and then it's a part of it.

Speaker 1 So it's great. So you'll be DJ.
I'm serious, though. Yeah, no, no.
I'm serious too. Like, I will be our answer to that.
Make sure you get in

Speaker 1 behind the booth for at least 15 minutes. That's perfect.
I got a 15-minute set. Easy to go.
Done. Done.
And you're going to be an offensive player next year. I like it.

Speaker 1 This has been a very productive interview. He has.
I feel like we got a lot of things.

Speaker 1 We should do it.

Speaker 1 We should do it more often. Yeah, we're just scheming and planning and doing all this stuff.
We should get a live chicken in here. Could you help us with that? I mean, in New York, I'm not sure

Speaker 1 where live chickens would be. But if we was in Miami.
Do chickens eat mice?

Speaker 1 Who wins a fight?

Speaker 1 A New York rat or a chicken? It depends on. It's just one-on-one.

Speaker 1 Well, we have a lot of rats. Yeah, they're in the open.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there might be. So just say in an office environment with five versus five.
There's a half dozen rats.

Speaker 1 I'd say the rats, like they.

Speaker 1 All right, so it might not be the best environment. We don't know if it's a rat, though.
It could be a mouse. I feel like a chicken beats a mouse, but a rat beats a chicken.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if it's a mouse, it's over. But a rat, like, especially a New York rat, it's over.
What about a cat? That we will have our cats and chickens, can they be friends?

Speaker 1 I don't think cats are friends with anybody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they go crazy on there.
They're devil. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so, all right, so we need to find like a bouncer for the chicken to save him against the rats.

Speaker 1 No, fox would eat the. But the chicken would run away from the fox.
What about a snake? Would a snake eat a chicken? Yes, a snake would eat a chicken.

Speaker 1 Your snake guy would eat a break.

Speaker 1 A chicken egg. I'm not sure, like a whole chicken.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen it. You might just have to move into the Barstill headquarters to protect the chicken.
I am here. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'm sure I can write a contract up for that, too. It would be funny if we just had like a battle royale.

Speaker 1 What can survive a New York City rat and just leave different animals in our office? Rat Rat fighting. And just see how long they can survive.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Vaughn, thank you so much.
Appreciate you, guys. Appreciate it.
Excited for those thousand bucks. That's going to be great.
I'm pretty excited about it, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, it's going to help me out. It's going to be a big moment.
Like, people will be going crazy if you actually score an offensive touchdown. We get paid.
It's going to be great.

Speaker 1 And we're going to be rooting for it.

Speaker 1 We're going to start a campaign. Give Vaughn the ball.
Every single week. I like it.
I appreciate it. I believe things for you.
All right, guys. Thank you.

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Speaker 1 All right, let's do some segments. Hank, you got some Bachelor Talk for the show that you definitely don't watch?

Speaker 1 Sure do.

Speaker 1 Not?

Speaker 3 No, I sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do have Bachelor for the show i don't watch it correct so this one last night of course um

Speaker 3 pete took the girl so there's a lot of a lot of drama in the house after champagne gate oh we didn't even talk about champagne oh god we didn't talk about champagne gate a girl had uh set up champagne for a date and then another girl came in and took that champagne and then took the guy on a date that was a huge huge amount of drama so wait she stole her drinks

Speaker 3 Yeah, a girl like had champagne out and was gonna you know go on a date with Pete

Speaker 3 and drink it with him and another girl cucked her basically, took the champagne, took Pete, and took her idea.

Speaker 1 What did the first girl do? Did she swing on it?

Speaker 3 I mean, verbally, she verbally swung.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of drama, a lot of back and forth. That's on site.

Speaker 3 The house was at end, so the show started with a lot of tension, I heard.

Speaker 3 So Pete took the girls on a group date to an underground pillow fight club.

Speaker 3 Eliyah. Who doesn't go there? Eliyah won the tournament and gets a Pete, a kiss from Pete.

Speaker 1 That's the winner of the tournament gets a kiss from Pete? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 Sidney then snitched on Elihan and told Pete that she shows him one side of her and the rest of the girls in the other house another side.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 So two-faced. She called her two-faced.
This causes all the other girls in the house to have to snitch on Eliyah, saying she's fake.

Speaker 1 Which one of these ladies off protests too much? Who's the one with the burner account? Is it Maddie? Maddie. Is Maddie still at it with her...

Speaker 1 You the man, Skip. Love the new show on FS1.

Speaker 3 She, I mean, she had the best date on the show, I heard.

Speaker 3 Pete doesn't give Eliha a rose of the Rose ceremony, but tells Chris Hansen right after that he regrets his decision and might bring her back despite all the other girls calling her fake.

Speaker 1 Okay. Total hesitation.
What's the difference between a professional pillow fight and an underground pillow fight?

Speaker 3 I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 You actually wear gloves. Well, one's sanctioned and one's not.
Yeah, so what's the belt situation like there? You can't

Speaker 1 if it's

Speaker 1 underground. You need to be in a sanctioned pillow fight.

Speaker 3 But yeah. If I was watching the show, I'd say Pete's acting like a mopey little bitch.

Speaker 1 Who's this Pete guy anyway?

Speaker 3 Pete the pilot. He's just, he's a little.

Speaker 1 I don't like anyone named Pete.

Speaker 3 He's like, you know, he's crying over the fact that these girls. It's like, he's like, he can't handle the drama.
He doesn't want any of the smoke.

Speaker 3 But he also signed up to be the bachelor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't like him. He's not cut out for the bright lights.
Nope.

Speaker 3 Also, the girl that I predicted, I haven't seen her since the first episode, so I don't know how she's doing.

Speaker 1 She's laying low. The Auburn coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's dead.
Yep. Can't get fine by the NCAA.
True. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it. Auburn coach for what?

Speaker 3 The girl her. So

Speaker 3 I thought her dad was the the coach of the women's basketball team, but her dad is actually an assistant coach on the men's basketball team.

Speaker 1 Bruce Pearl?

Speaker 3 Assistant coach. Bruce's assistant.
On the men's basketball team.

Speaker 1 It would have been cooler if it was Bruce Pearl. So did Bruce Pearl.
Cindy Pearl. Did Bruce Pearl maybe kill this girl? Well, he snitched.
He snitched on whoever did. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she hasn't just, she's been gone. He doesn't do the crime.
He just snitches on people. Right.

Speaker 3 Oh, and then in the preview for the next episode, Pete takes a girl to a Chase Rice concert, and then at the date, the girl's like, me and Chase Rice used to date.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes.

Speaker 3 Get it, Chase. Nice little, nice little ended on a cliff.

Speaker 1 Of course, I liked it. Of course, they did.
All right, we got to embrace debate. PFD, you have this embrace debate? Yeah, we're trying to figure out who the real hot boys are.

Speaker 1 So they're, yeah, us, we'll get to that. Okay.
But there's a legal dispute going on in the NFL right now.

Speaker 1 Demarcus Lawrence said that he had trademarked the phrase hot boys for his defensive linemates in Dallas with one Z.

Speaker 1 Now, the Niners are going to the Super Bowl. Their defensive line is selling merch that says hot boys with two Z's.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 So Demarcus Lawrence is actually, he said, I gave them consistent warnings to stop using the name, according to Jane Slater. All I can say is thank the imposters.
Now y'all work for the real hot boys.

Speaker 1 To clarify, he's telling me that he is working with attorneys to prevent the use of it by anyone other than the Cowboys Hot Boys. Wait, doesn't the Z thing

Speaker 1 resolve them? It's different.

Speaker 3 Also, it all originates from Lil Wayne and the Hot Boys, which I'm looking at Wikipedia now, H-O-T-B-O-Y money sign. But that's where the inspiration comes from.
Cash money riddles.

Speaker 3 That started in 1997 in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 They took over for the 99-2000. Yep.
Was it King Midas when they split it in half, split the baby in half? What is that? Solomon's Riddle. Solomon's Riddle.

Speaker 1 They need to do that, where it's like, if you actually want to be called Hot Boys, you're not the real Hot Boys. Because a true Hot Boy knows that

Speaker 1 Hot Boys don't work with lawyers. That's a good point.
Oh, so Demarcus Lawrence, he's already thrown out. Right.
A real hot boy would settle this and be like, yo, a real hot boy would get the gat.

Speaker 1 Get the gat. Guys, don't promote gun violence, please.
But that's a hot boy move. It is a hot boy.
We should just take over hot boys. We're the hot boys.
All right. With four Z's.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Four Z's and three money signs. The riddle of Solomon Thomas is what they're calling it.
Yeah. Isn't he on the Niners? Yeah, he is.
Good job there. There it is.
Thanks, TFT.

Speaker 1 These

Speaker 3 hot boys album are just fantastic. The block is hot.
Chopper City in the ghetto. ghetto.
Back that ass up.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. All-time album covers from Cash Money Records back then.

Speaker 1 All right. So we're the real Hop Boys.
Everyone shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 LeBron blames. LeBron blames his son.
So LeBron blames his son. A new low.
A new low. Even for LeBron, he has gone as low as possible.
He has blamed his son on his poor performance on one of the best.

Speaker 1 What did he actually say?

Speaker 1 He said that he was a little out of rhythm because he went and watched his son play basketball in a tournament in springfield massachusetts and then came back to play the celtics that night but they set him up to say no they're like did you go into your son's game affect that your play at all and he could have just been like no but he was like yeah he's like he's like good point yeah yeah exactly he got dunked on too and he because he can't erase the footage usually when lebron gets dunked on he has everyone delete it right he can't erase the footage so instead he just blames his son so he kind of dunked on himself with his answer wouldn't you say though that he's saying my choice to go visit my son well he did the made me play worse.

Speaker 1 He did the family over everything. Right.
He fought. He did the trouble.
Trump three. Which is bullshit.
Also, I saw

Speaker 1 his son got hit with a starburst in the game,

Speaker 1 which was assault. But also, that kid's got to be psyched to eat something that's not dirt and like charcoal and rocks that LeBron always feeds him so he can taste the flavors and wine better.

Speaker 1 No, you're thinking of LeBron's three-year-old daughter. That's who he's doing.
She drinks walks the rocks. They've all eaten.

Speaker 1 Bronnie June. You don't learn anything.

Speaker 3 He makes his daughter make food for herself, and she's she's like three.

Speaker 1 That's good. They got to learn sometime, right?

Speaker 1 It was an all-time LeBron blames. Every kid, every child has to learn how to microwave saltines with American cheese slices on them.
All he had to say was

Speaker 1 that he was a bad one.

Speaker 3 Oh, it didn't affect me. I fucked the game up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's about a game, but he had to be like, well, yeah, you're right. Yeah, literally heard that was like.
Being a father was more important than not getting dunked on.

Speaker 1 This is the route Tebo's going down if you keep having sex, buddy. LeBron blames.

Speaker 1 All right, guys on checks. Let's finish it up.

Speaker 3 Sup, guys. What's the age where singing in the shower needs to stop?

Speaker 1 Like home alone, speaker set.

Speaker 3 No one's going to know. When's it too old for that to still be unacceptable? Never.

Speaker 1 I feel like singing in the shower starts later on in life, right? I didn't sing in the shower till I was about 20. Never, ever, ever.

Speaker 1 Now, if you know someone else is in the apartment, maybe, you know, don't go ham. But if you know you're alone and you can sing in the shower, go for it.

Speaker 1 Sup, boys, especially

Speaker 3 Urowid commenter, parentheses, drug guy.

Speaker 1 Urowid was an old message board where people would log on and describe their drug usage. You didn't know about that.
No, they would say, like, hey,

Speaker 1 I know that. This guy writing was awesome.
It's actually totally increasing. It's actually a very, very common thing.
Oh, yeah. Totally.
Errowid.

Speaker 1 Errowid is super common.

Speaker 1 You guys just don't know your shit when it comes to finding out about the dark web.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, I'm more educated. If you type in, like, ask

Speaker 1 side effects. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right. My favorite was

Speaker 1 this one dude had a colony of fire ants. Oh, this one dude? Yeah, this one dude

Speaker 1 had a colony of fire ants that built a nest inside his Mr. Coffee.
Uh-huh. And he accidentally made coffee with fire ant poison, drank it, his face went numb.
He's like, you know what?

Speaker 1 The first thing I'm going to do is log on to Arowid to describe how high I got off accidentally drinking fire ant poison. Yeah.
Totally. This guy, whoever wrote this in, that was smart.

Speaker 3 I like to sit down in the shower. It makes it easier to shave my legs.

Speaker 1 My husband says I shouldn't do that because I might sit on his load and get pregnant is this possible good looking out and can he aim for the drain at least it's better to do it in the shower than it is to do on the carpet right beside the bed though yes because you're definitely getting some swimmers there you're sitting in his load

Speaker 1 also porcelain porcelain it's it's too slick nothing sticks to it it is true you alright hank yeah just i what that fucking just huge joint you ripped no i just drank some i'm having some soup pft style and i went went down the wrong

Speaker 1 hole. You can't get pregnant if you're pissing, right? So you can just pee while you're shaving your legs.
Two birds, one stone. You can't get pregnant while you're pissing.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Have you ever... Like, you can't get...
Actually, the moment you're peeing, you cannot be pregnant. Get pregnant? Well, it's like blowing on a dandelion that's in the seed mode.

Speaker 1 You get all the stuff away from you. So if you're pissing, you're trying to let the sperm move along.
Yeah, yeah. The sperm can't swim up river.
You're not here anymore, yeah.

Speaker 3 Sup, Dad Cat, Uncle PFT, and Henry. My boyfriend and I were chatting the other day, and the topic of boners came up.

Speaker 3 He goes on to tell me that when he was in high school and would get a boner, he'd just flip it into his waistband. He then goes to tell me every guy in high school did this trick.

Speaker 3 Is this actually something guys do?

Speaker 3 Thank you, love you, Emma.

Speaker 1 1,000%.

Speaker 1 In fact, I did it the other week. Oh, yeah? I've got a real problem with that.
You know, uncontrollable boners? Yeah, yeah, which is remarkable. Yeah.
Like, I usually don't get it.

Speaker 1 That's for you, high tee. I only get these random boners that, and this might be illuminating to some female listeners.
Boners aren't always sexual. Sometimes they just happen.

Speaker 1 They used to just happen more often when you were in the middle of the day. I'm uncomfortable now, just want that.
Middle school and high school.

Speaker 1 I've got a problem. I usually get

Speaker 1 boners

Speaker 1 just riding to the airport. Yeah, I'm getting uncomfortable.
When I get out of the airport, we were riding to the airport

Speaker 1 many times together. Hank, when we got out of that car, I had to do the waistband tuck.
Damn, dude. No, no, not the one in Houston.
We go to many

Speaker 1 cars together. I was too tired.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I don't know what that says about me. Just, I enjoy planes.
You're excited about planes. I like air travel.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 What's up, Baycat, Honk, and PF Ween?

Speaker 1 Honk.

Speaker 3 What's that one mean?

Speaker 1 PF Ween? I got a Weenus. Oh.

Speaker 3 So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now. We get along great, and it's starting to get pretty serious.

Speaker 3 A few months ago, I moved in with a friend from high school who I consider a close friend.

Speaker 3 Last weekend, when my boyfriend was drunk, he told me he hooked up with my roommate/slash friend like seven years ago when we were all in high school he says it's not a big deal because he hooked up with tons of chicks in high school but I can't get this out of my head as the three of us hang out at our apartment all the time am I overreacting or is this a legitimate gripe to have

Speaker 1 I'd say it's seven depends what his number in high school is man well yeah it sounds like you're with like Will Chamberlain so just deal with it what was your number in high school one out of ten negative one out of ten one out of ten people that you see on the street your boyfriend probably fucked uh-huh like that sounds like what that's going on right now.

Speaker 1 You need, here's what you need to do. Ask her if she wants to have a threesome as a trap.
If she says yes, be like, get out of my house right now. Get out.

Speaker 1 If she says no, then

Speaker 1 if he says no. No, no, no.
You say that to her. To the girl.
If she says yes, you kick her out. If she says no, play this part of part of my take for

Speaker 1 to prove that you didn't actually want to have the threesome. Yes.
Got him.

Speaker 3 Hey, guys, especially Honk. Been dating a guy for 10 months now, And last weekend, after we got back from a dinner with his friends, whoa, my computer fell asleep.

Speaker 3 After a weekend, we got back from a dinner with his friends.

Speaker 3 We started to fool around, and he told me he prefers it when there's a little bit of funk when he goes down on me.

Speaker 3 I told him that will never happen as I am very clean. I was taken aback, obviously.
How concerned should I be? Should I end things with him? Thanks, Jenna.

Speaker 1 I like a little bit of funk. Just, um, what a thing to say.
Maybe go to the gym right beforehand? I don't know. I I don't know what to tell you.
Damn. Go horseback riding.
Look at a couple hours.

Speaker 3 Break up the stairs instead of, you know, taking your time.

Speaker 1 We got the funk. Ow.
Gotta have that funk.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do that.
I don't know where that guy's coming from, though.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a big wide world out there. A lot of people have weird shit.
There are a lot of fetishes. Maybe he was just trying to be polite.
Maybe his last girl had some funk, and he was like,

Speaker 1 just in case you are self-conscious about your funk, I could be into that. No, his last girl had some funk.
He got addicted to the funk.

Speaker 1 Just tough to quit funk life. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Last one. Sup, girls.
I get an email for an Amazon order today and notice my sister's friend is using my Prime to order Avid Love Lingerie Baby Doll bodysuit.

Speaker 3 What is my best method of attack with this woman who is 10 years older than me?

Speaker 1 Blackmail. This is Prime Black Hole.
Hold it in a file.

Speaker 1 Who is she dating right now? Print it out and file it away. Was this her sister or her sister-in-law, Hank?

Speaker 3 Her sister's friend. Her sister's friend, yeah.

Speaker 1 File it away. File it away for later.
She might run for president, in which case

Speaker 1 that is jacked up.

Speaker 1 In which case, that will not affect her presidential campaign whatsoever. But you can still get money.
Remember when that was a thing? Yeah, just like. Like, well,

Speaker 1 if that person did a little drugs in college, they'll never be able to run for president. Yeah.
Did you know? The game has changed. Bernie Sanders smoked marijuana.

Speaker 1 It used to be the mayor of Bernie Sanders. Everybody ever knew a kid in college who was like trying to be president.
And like, no, I won't drink at this kegger.

Speaker 1 And it's like, dude, you had no idea what the future was holding where now anyone can be president. I had a friend that definitely like cleaned up his Facebook after every single night out.

Speaker 1 He would untag himself from start. Trying to not be trying to not

Speaker 1 be trying to run for office. He's got to have a pristine record.
Got to have a sniff. No skeletons in the clock.
No, cannot scrape me off that flight log with Jeffrey Epstein. I was not there.

Speaker 1 All right. We'll see everyone on Friday.
We got a recurring guest on Friday. See you then.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away,

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm just saying, I'm staying away.

Speaker 1 Today, time after day, I'm coming.

Speaker 1 Shy away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of gay. Shy away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of gay.

Speaker 1 Take on me,

Speaker 1 baby.

Speaker 1 I need less to say

Speaker 1 I thought you said yes, but I'll be so a little way.

Speaker 1 So I learned that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be saved and sorry. Say unto me

Speaker 1 It's the better to be saved and sorry

Speaker 1 that's the same

Speaker 1 little life long. Just a way that buries away.

Speaker 1 You are things I thought to remember.

Speaker 1 Being shy away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you, new life.

Speaker 1 Be shy,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you, new life.

Speaker 1 way.