Super Bowl 54 Is Set, Chiefs vs Niners + Trevor Bauer On Astros Cheating Scandal And More

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On today's Pardon My Take, Championship Sunday, we recap who's going to the Super Bowl.

We got it. Super Bowl 54 is booked.

Chiefs versus 49ers. We're going to recap both games.

We got a little who's back.

Conor McGregor.

And we have an interview with Trevor Bauer.

In studio.

Talk Astros cheating and also Trevor Bauer basically being a strange guy.

Very strange guy, but interesting guy.

Does a lot of research on himself.

He definitely has several Reddit accounts.

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Championship weekend.

What? What?

Super Bowl.

He's not going to get him.

We start in Kansas City, where the Chiefs offense looked clueless in the first quarter,

dropping another Paul Dunn, falling behind 10-0. But it all changed when Patrick Mahomes found Tyreek Hill and said, I love you, man.
Derek Clapton Henry didn't look wonderful tonight, and there will be tears in heaven for crying Tannehill as God gained a team but lost a penis. Andy Patrick Reed mastered offensive football and has everyone a believer as he took the boys to Outback Steakhouse

for a celebratory dinner and the lightning and the chocolate thunder

and the thunder and the lightning and the chocolate thunder.

We finish with Patrick Mahomes on the sideline.

Patrick.

Boy, I certainly poofed after that contest today.

It was real good that our defense was able to bottle up Tractorcito. The Titans season is finito.
The Chiefs won ain't that neato. Going to Miami for S.B.
Elevito. Tractorcito.
I play baseball, boom. Thank you, Patrick.
Appreciate that. We'll see you in Miami.
Chiefs, 35. Titans, 24.
Fumble! Whip! Whip! We go to the Big Bell Bottom, where these two historic franchises fight for a ticket to the Super Bowl. Raheem Hot Spicy Chinese Mostert was on a real egg roll, rushing for 220 yards and four touchdowns, and left fans want on more.
General So What Aaron Rodgers looked disengaged in knowing the five-second rule when refusing to go for a second-quarter fumble. Devontae Adams-Levine had moves like Jagger, but the Packers learned the hard way you can't always get what you want, as homeless Aaron Rodgers will be begging Danica to give him shelter after this disappointing loss.
The 49ers have a chance to win their first Super Bowl since their victory over Nitro means business when Steve Young got the monkey off his back, only to shove it up his own ass 25 years later for making fun of Joe Burrow for drinking alcohol. Niners 37, the Green Bay Packers 20.
All right. Championship Sunday in the books.
Wasn't super exciting with games. The games weren't super tight.
The first game had its moments. It had its moments.
At first, it's like when the Chiefs only spotted the Titans 10. All right.
Yeah. Instead of spotting them, what, 21? 24.
24 like they did the other week. It's like, yeah, I can see how these games are gonna go yeah so it was uh i still love championship sunday everyone should love championship sunday it's great to watch getting to the super bowl always feels like a big deal it's like the celebration is always a big deal and and the home crowd and everyone behind it so we'll start with the game in k City the AFC championship game very cold even before

the game started my biological clock was off football Sunday because it was a three o'clock start so long so I not to brag go to the gym work out come back my biological clock tells me as a football guy be on your couch by 1 p.m. at the very latest so I sit on the couch turn on the TV and I'm like, we got two more hours of pregame?

It was forever.

Forever.

So the game, and I'm like, we got two more hours of pregame? It was forever. Forever.
So the game starts, and the Chiefs, I don't know what it is, but they just can't start a game without being in a hole. That's when they wake up.
It's basically Julian Edelman getting a concussion and starting to play well. They need to be in a big hole.
If they're down by double digits, their smelling sauce and it felt like for a minute there that the titans had like everything going perfectly for them they're up 10 nothing they can run the ball they can play their game but they forgot about patrick mahomes and they forgot about what this chief's offense has done the last two weeks so last week they go down to the titans they're down 24 nothing nothing. After they're down 24, nothing.
They scored touchdowns on seven out of nine drives today. They go down 10, nothing.
They scored touchdowns on five of the next seven drives. It's insane what they can do.
You cannot guard all of them. The Titans defense, which had played well against Lamar had played well against the Patriots looked completely overmatched.
Well, even if you do guard all their offensive weapons, you know what's going to happen is Mahomes, he's going to take off and run like he did on that 33-yard scramble. It was bad.
It was so bad. That was the game.
That was the game. And he's so good at playing quarterback that he doesn't even need to do a head and shoulders fake.
He does an eye fake. He uses his eyes, and he'll make a defender that's pursuing him stop to try to bat down a pass.
He takes off. He ran in that corner.
There was nobody near him. And the thing is, when he runs, and by the way, he's had— No, there were guys near him.
They just all missed him. He's had two injuries, like two leg injuries this year.
Like the dislocated knee, we forget about that. But he's still—he's like deceptively fast as a quarterback.
So he turns the corner, and he's gone. the guy that tried to tackle him at the goal line ended up throwing him into the end zone there were three guys away from the other guy that was about to knock his shit off 37 just mailed it in i actually think that a little hot take but the new rules with hitting quarterbacks makes it harder for defensive players to fully go at a quarter like it felt like guys were wanted tackle them.
It was bad tackling, but it also felt like if they went too hard, they would get a penalty because no one went. It was crazy.
It was crazy watching that play. That was your free shot.
You very rarely get a free shot on a quarterback in the open field, and they missed it. Not only did they miss it, they ended up just throwing them into the end zone.
And so once the Chiefs offense got cooking, the game was over basically when at the end of the first half, the Titans had the ball back with like two and a half minutes. They'd go three and out, and the Chiefs score again.
And that was the touchdown to end the half, and they get the ball back. They didn't score on the first possession of the second half.
But as soon as the Titans had to play from behind, Ryan Tannehill, great run. They've been incredible.
It was an awesome, like, no one thought the Titans would be in the AFC Championship game. But that's not a team that can match points with the Chiefs when the Chiefs' offense is cooking.
It was funny because the Titans had what looked like a back-breaking drive. That would be a back-breaking drive against most teams.
It was a 10-play. It was a nine-minute drive.
They just marched down the field systematically. I mean, it looked like it was a lot of work to get down the field because it took so long.
But it was a nine-minute drive. They score.
Then they give the ball to the Chiefs, who proceed to score in about 95 seconds. It was awesome.
And it almost seemed not fair from the Titans' perspective. It's like we worked so hard to put together this awesome drive and we give you the ball and then you immediately score so it was 15 plays 75 yards nine minute drive and then the chiefs turned around and scored in two and a half minutes it was so cool to watch the two different styles though because that's how the titans were going to have to score they were going to have to just grind it out and you that was when they scored that 15 play 75 yard drive you're like okay the titans can win this game because they're up 17 7 they're basically just grinding clock but then patrick mahomes does patrick mahomes things and again they start the game out 10 nothing down 10 nothing and somehow getting to halftime up four it felt like yeah it was like the tight i mean it was it wasn't as severe as severe as the Texans game, but it was kind of the same script where you have the Chiefs on the ropes in the first quarter, and then by halftime, the game is completely flipped and the Chiefs feel great.
You let them get tired. And Mike Vrabel did, he did run a fake punt when everybody knew that it was going to happen later on in the game.
Yep. Earlier in the game, this was around midfield, it looked like they were going to run a fake punt.
It was a classic Bill O'Brien thing. They were lined up.
It looked like they were going to fake the punt. The Chiefs brought one of the gunners in, and the punter checked out of it.
And you could tell because they cut to Mike Vrabel right after that. He was pissed off that they didn't fake that one.
And at that point, I made a little mental note in the PFT mental notebook. They're like, be on the lookout because Vrabel's going to call it fake punt later.
The fake punt that we call later was so obvious. Everyone knew it was going to happen.
And it was basically Vrabel saying, I think that my punter can throw a better pass than Ryan Tannehill at this moment. Now, one thing that we're not doing enough of in this postseason is crediting Jeff Fisher for the Titans' success.
It's true. Because here's the thing.
He laid the groundwork. He laid the groundwork because he made a trade with the Titans when he was the coach of the Rams, and he gave the Titans draft picks.
That ended up becoming Derrick Henry, Jack Conklin, Austin Johnson, Corey Davis, and Johnnie Smith, the building blocks of this team right here. So we should be giving Fisher a little bit of credit for that um the Chiefs run defense was phenomenal and the question of like can the Chiefs play defense in a big time moment was answered today because they were soft last year in that exact moment against the Patriots in the AFC championship game but they were awesome and obviously the game flipped a little bit where the Titans had to play catch up but they were I mean – I mean, Derrick Henry was not able to get – like the times that Derrick Henry got yards was just really good blocking.
It wasn't Derrick Henry just like running over guys. So, Frank Clark, you're off the hook.
That was an all-time stupid thing to say before the game, but it turned out to be correct. Like the Chiefs' run defense was phenomenal, and they deserve credit.
And guess what? what they're gonna have to be even better in the super bowl against the 49ers rushing attack but they need the credit because that was kind of the question everyone knows patrick mahomes can do it and the offense has all the weapons can the defense step up and they they did the honey badger is awesome oh yeah so much fun to watch him play like just having him on the field you have to, as a fan watching him, I feel like a quarterback that always needs to know where he is. I'm looking for Honey Badger before the play, and I'm calling him out just to myself and Leroy on the couch.
I'm like, there's the Honey Badger, there's the Honey Badger, he don't care. And he had a couple nice hits today.
Anytime he wraps somebody up, it feels like he's going to make them fumble the ball. He finds a way to wiggle his limbs into these weird places and just punch at the ball from impossible angles.
He's so much fun to watch play. Andy Reid.
Can we talk about Andy Reid real quick? The flag. I hope they let him coach in shorts at the Super Bowl.
Did you see the flag toss? Yes. The most casual waddle to a flag toss I've ever seen in my life.
The Hawaiian shirts are going to be on his play. It was a drop.
Well, it was a toss. For the people listening.
It was a toss. Well, you want to conserve your energy, Hank.
You can't be out there just gunning the flag across the field. That's your timeout hand.
Yeah, and Andy Reid, I'm happy for Andy Reid. His postgame when he picked up the trophy one-handed, it looked like the smallest trophy in the world next to andy reed also the i think it was the owner of the chiefs where i didn't try to peel it wearing earplugs yeah you see that yeah unless he unless he has some kind of issue that i don't know about that's ridiculous he also they cut to him during the game he couldn't even find a high five in his own box i's very sad.
We know that that happens. But on a serious note, for Kansas City, that looked like an all-time fun environment to be at, and I love long-suffering fan bases.
They haven't been in the Super Bowl in 50 years. They lose last year when they thought it was their year.
They had the one seed and everything. So the redemption arc of that game and winning it in front of your crowd was so fucking cool that one shot when patrick mahomes had his arms up and everyone was going crazy after a touchdown they had that long touchdown was so fucking cool and got me so amped up so i'm happy for kansas city i truly am like that's a fan base that you can feel happy for they don't have a ton i.
I'm extremely excited for them. And Casey Wolfe, too.

He's gone through his own shit this playoffs.

The ups and downs of that mascot alone.

He's been basically bipolar. Now he's really

happy. I'm happy for any fan

base, one, that's long-suffering, that gets

to go to Super Bowl II, that lives in an

extremely cold environment, that gets

to go south to Miami for a little bit,

take a sun break, hang out down there

with the guys. I'm concerned a little bit about Andy Reid.
He said that he's going to go on a diet this week so he can fit into his Miami clothes. He's going on a South Beach diet, which is just don't eat anything until you get to Miami.
I think the diet that Andy Reid is going to go on is he will probably skip lunch tomorrow. That'll be it.
He'll do brunch instead of breakfast. He'll get super hungry by dinnertime and be like, well, diet complete.
Here's Andy Reid's diet this week. Just one type of pork on your breakfast plate.
So choose between sausage and bacon. God, Andy Reid is also one of those classic.
He's in that classic situation where his legacy, if he wins a Superbowl will change so dramatically,

which shouldn't be like,

it shouldn't be that Andy Reed's legacy is all determined on one Superbowl

win because he's been such a good coach for so long.

One,

you know,

with the Eagles,

with the chiefs,

been basically in the playoffs every single year changes.

His offense has like evolved better than any coach,

but that one Superbowl win will take him from a great coach to one of the best. You know what I mean? That's all it needs.
That's all he needs. We're going to do all of our Super Bowl storylines on Wednesday, but this is a legacy game for Andy Reid.
This is a legacy game. That's our job is to kind of open that gate and allow him up to the top of our pantheon if he does win a Super Bowl.
But he really deserves it. Regardless of whether or not he wins a Super Bowl, he's been a great coach for 25 years.
Forever. But you've got to have that ring, baby.
You've got to have that ring. Otherwise, he's a choker.
You're buried underneath the pantheon. Well, you just think of all the losses, not the wins.
It just changes. Our brains are so stupid that way, where if he doesn't win this Super Bowl, well, he lost in the big games.
He had a lot of conference championship losses. What about Ovi? That's what I'm saying.
Ovi won. Yeah, so you think everything different about him now because of the champ.
Yeah, okay. I'll give you that one.
Damn, he got defensive there. No, I was just – you're right.
You're right. You're right.
I'll stand up for Ovi when I hear slander upon his name. It wasn't slander.
He was making a good point. It was a great point.
Yeah. But yeah, so the one nice thing about the Super Bowl loss that Andy Reid does have in terms of his legacy is that we don't think about Andy Reid choking away that Super Bowl as much because we think more about Donovan McNabb throwing up on the field during that drive that Andy Reid mismanaged.

So there's that, which he's got going for him.

Also, can I say a big fuck you to Mike Bloomberg

for running all these ads during my Football Sunday?

Okay.

I have no idea what his platform is, but I do know that now I—

It sounds like you're triggered.

I only think about Mike Bloomberg as being the guy that's not football

because his ads are all over my screen during NFL Sunday, and I don't like it, Mike.

Yeah, sounds like you're triggered.

I'm very triggered.

I'm exceptionally triggered about Mike Bloomberg.

Yes.

I don't really pay attention to the ads anymore.

So he's got $200 million.

I read this, that he's spent on ads, and he's pulling out like 4%.

You got so mad you weren't right about it?

I would be more likely to vote for him

if he just lit $200 million on

fire. In one ad? Yes.

Hi, I'm Mike Bloomberg and look what I

can do. That would be cool.
That would be a lot cooler than

interrupting my football Sunday, Mike

Bloomberg. You are

triggered. Jesus.
Well, yeah. You know what?

I'm scratching his name out of

my personal records

for candidates that I'm even considering voting for. I've only seen that Tom Steyer guy.
He's always on there, too. Same guy.
Same guy. Yeah, yeah.
Here's the thing. He's just walking around in a Patagonia vest trying to talk to me, walking down a nice country road.
If you're buying ads, political ads during a football game, you've already lost. That's number one.
Number two, you should just have Dennis Leary narrate your commercial like it's a truck commercial yeah or the rock yeah and just call you a pussy like you're a pussy if you don't vote for him have it actually just be like hey I'm running for president but more importantly here are two trucks trying to tow each other yeah and then vote for me yeah it could actually be the Republican truck and the Democrat truck and just fucking have them and then be like tune in don't have it finished. Keep the people wanting more.
Go visit MikeBloomberg.com to find out who wins the truck. That's a new thing, by the way.
I went down a TikTok rabbit hole the other day trying to figure out what it was, and I got actually very upset at this one kid who put 18 liters of Coke into a big tub and had 300 Mentos and was sitting in the tub. And he slow-mo was about to drop the Mentos and then said, go to my Instagram page to watch the end of the video.
And then went to his Instagram page and he's like, I'm not releasing it until I get this many followers. And I got fucking mad.
Go to my Twitter account to watch the end of it. So that's what they got to do for the truck off.
Go to the voting poll to vote for me, and then if I get enough votes to be president, I will release the truck video. I like it.
Fuck. It would be a lot better than having to deal with that bullshit during football games.
Dude, this fucking douchebag kid from California had me just running around the internet looking for this Mentos video, and I want to kill him. Not actually.
I don't want to be like, I don't know. He might be a TikTok.
You certainly are getting mad about not being able to see a teenage boy bathe. Yeah.
Well, I want to see the Mentos just fuck him up. Dude, the Mentos would have fucked him up.
And he also was doing like a hotel lobby, which is a really douchebag move. You seem like a body moving for this video.
Damn, you guys had some wild weekends. Yeah, crazy weekends, crazy weekends.
Political ads and TikTok. Okay, last thing.
Speaking of TikTok, we need to get Patrick Mahomes' brother to teach us how to use TikTok. He's really big on that platform.
I don't know how to use it. I logged in.
I started an account. I think we have a part of my take account that we haven't put anything on as far as i know i'm so happy that we got an age where like i i've said this before but if tiktok was big like six or seven years ago i would have already gotten hit by a car on tiktok try to get my cloud up i'm past that yeah you would have been banned by mlb it would have sucked yeah i would have been putting my my putting my Yabo videos on TikTok and then having them take everything down.

Alright. Last thing on

the Chiefs. Well, it'll be a segue

to the next game.

Should we talk quickly about the jerseys? Pantones.

They're very close. Everyone's

talking about it. Everyone is talking about it.

The Chiefs red is Pantone 186C.

The Niners red

is Pantone 187C.

Whoa. Pat Tip, Jake Marsh, atone 187C.
Hat tip Jake Marsh

at PMT Sports Biz.

These are one digit off.

The closest

Pantones that have ever had a Super Bowl

matchup against each other. And the Chiefs

are the home team, so they will

most likely wear red. I would wear

red. I read a study

15 years ago. It's probably

outdated and debunked, but it's the last thing that

sticks in my mind. That

teams that wear the color red are

Thank you. red yes i read a study uh 15 years ago it's probably outdated and debunked but it's the last thing that sticks in my mind uh that teams that wear the color red are dominant if you look across all sports professionally there's like a small bit of i don't know what what sort of uh darwinian or evolutionary trait being bright red gives you as a show of dominance red yeah like a red a robust red other out, though? Because they're both going to have red? But only one team can wear red during the game.
A solid red. Yeah.
Solid red. The other team's got to go white.
You're talking about maroon? Alabama's maroon. That's a red.
That's not like a bright red. They're actually crimsons.
Yeah, crimsons are red, though. Yeah, but like not...
I don't think red. I don't think crimson.
Yeah, but it's still, I think it's just any reds. So when did you read this study?

About 15 years ago. You read it

during like the big red machines run.

I read it 15 years ago.

I don't know what teams were, actually

you know what, I remember I read it and I

thought to myself like there

are no good teams that wear red right now.

This story's bullshit, but then

over time the pendulum, it's just all you know, it's give and take. We'll have Jake Marsh break that down for us.
Jake, you're listening to this right now. I want a full breakdown of all the colors that have won all the major championships in pro sports and then football and basketball in college.
So give it to us. Give us all that.
Right. However, teams that wear red in the East,

they don't win in the playoffs.

I know that. Yeah.
For the NBA.

That's just my general rule of thumb.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though

the whole 90s. Yeah, I disregard.

Throw that out. Disregard.

Yeah, it was an anomaly. Erroneous.

Okay, so the next game. By the way, you can watch

us. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

We have Trevor Bauer in studio. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
49ers Packers. Anyone want to talk about the Packers being frauds? Well, guess what's back is running football.
Frauds. Frauds.
Mostert had what, 230? No, no, no, no. We'll talk about the Niners in a second.
Let's talk about the Packers first. Okay, let's talk about Aaron Rodgers.
I'm worried about Aaron Rodgers. I'm officially worried about his mental health.
He looked disinterested, disengaged the entire game. Business decision on that fumble.
Did not jump on the ball. He made Cam Newton look like he was hungry in that Super Bowl 50? Listen, I'm not going to beat up

on Packers fans right now because I know

the Bears didn't even make the playoffs.

That's fine. I would personally

prefer to not make the playoffs

than get my dick kicked in in the

NFC Championship game. That's just my personal

preference. But, we can

agree to disagree. The Packers roster,

here's a nice spin zone for you Packer fans.

Packers roster is a average quarterback away from being a Super Bowl contender I was saying they should they can just find a quarterback they would be good I think if they had binged Aaron Rodgers at halftime that was the way to go get a spark in there with Timmy D Timmy Doyle in the second half uh Aaron looked he looked pretty bad bad all around uh He had a couple nice passes in the second half,

but the first half he looked like somebody that has been fucking Brett Favre

for a while, just a completely blank look on his face,

was just not impressed, not happy to even be there.

49ers' defense was awesome, and their pass rush is awesome.

But, yeah, Aaron Rodgers did not look good, and he's getting older,

and that business decision was a little wild. I mean, he didn't even attempt to try to get that ball.
He didn't even. That was a big fumble.
They were going in for a score. He didn't stop where he was.
He just kept backpedaling. Yeah.
He was just like, no, I'm out of here. Don't want anything with this.
So Raheem Moser was awesome. I'll just throw this out there.
All points scored by the 49ers were by x bears so the bears kind of won this okay mostert bears legend he was on the bears for a couple games bear for life robbie gold bear for life so just gonna throw that out there but yeah raheem mostert was incredible 220 yards four touchdowns and jimmy g with the finesse god stat line of six for eight for 77 yards. I love it.
Incredible. But guess what? It doesn't matter because they knew that they could run on the Packers, and that's what they did.
He had, what, 30 excellent handoffs, though? 30 excellent handoffs. And Mostert had 220 yards.
It felt like it was 500 yards. They just were ripping off yards whenever they wanted.

And it wasn't like there were a bunch of really long runs that most were ripped off.

It was mostly just like 11 yards, 11 yards, 11 yards systematically down the field, and

there was nothing they could do to stop it.

I'm going to defer my football analysis to a recurring guest of part of my take, Cato

Kalin.

He's a huge Packers fan.

Oh, yeah.

He had a meltdown.

He says, Packers have worst O-line. They have no D.
As an owner, I want complete new coaching staff. Get Mike Shanahan.
LeFleur is wrong choice. His goatee and whiskers are not for a Wisconsin sports team.
It's too perfect. Mike Shanahan, get back to coaching.
So he's doing like a little reverse nepotism deal where he's saying like all these good young

coaches, instead of like hiring their

kids, go hire their dads. Go get

them. To come back.
Does Andy Reid have a

father? If Mr.

Reid is still with us,

bring him back to coach. Mike

Brable's dad could probably coach. I wanted Mike Shanahan

for the Bears job before

they hired John Fox. I did.

Essentially the same person. I very much did.
I very much was

on the hire Mike Shanahan. I need

a Pantone check on Mike Shanahan's neck. Because he might be one away from the 49ers.
That was an awkward Mike Shanahan going for the high five. Then they hugged Kyle and Mike when he was presenting the trophies.
Like, you guys are family, right? Yeah. Didn't really realize that.
But Kyle Shanahan, he is the new Sean McVay, hottest coach in the league. His logo keeps getting smaller.
It reminded me this time. Backwards hat.
It reminded me this time of the DVD save screen logo that bounces around. He should have a gif hat where it bounces around on his forehead.
It was an unbelievable game, though, by the 49ers. and they're somehow – I guess I get it because the Chiefs have been so dominant offensively.
The opening line for the Super Bowl is Chiefs minus one, over-under is 53. I'm going to take the over no matter what for everything.
I don't care. I really don't care.
I'm rooting for the points in this one. Have to.
But so the 49ers, like going from last year where they win two games obviously jimmy g got hurt to this where they were they were the dominant team in the nfc all year like this was i i beat up on the packers and called them frauds but you know you are what you know you play the team in front of you they won 13 games they didn't beat really anyone but that's kind of the rest of the NFC because the NFC, besides the 49ers, just didn't really have any strong, dominant teams. And the 49ers were basically wire-to-wire winners in terms of the NFC.
They were dominant all year, and they finished the job, and they kicked the shit out of the Packers twice. Hey, listen, Packer fans, I'm sorry, but you'll be watching the Super Bowl with me on the couch.
Can you just imagine, which is actually the best place to watch the Super Bowl. Yeah, it's actually great.
It's great. It's great.
The couches are amazing. Anything.
Yeah. Best invention ever.
Keep your stress level nice and low. Can we just imagine for a second how good the 49ers' running game would be if they had a tight end that Doug Gottlieb thought could block? Hmm.
Like, how much more? Greg Kittle. How many more yards could they have put up today? I like how everyone's like, where? I saw a few people be like, where's Greg Kittle today? And I was like, well, he's blocking his fucking ass off.
You know what? Dominating. He left his dick on the field because he blocked it off.
He blocked for everyone. And they, that's their running attack is insane.
I mean, they, they just won an NFC championship game by 17 points and they threw the ball eight times. That's got to make a lot of the analytics nerds really upset.
Well, the pendulum has swung back where you need to run the ball. Well, the analytics nerds got a victory in the first game.
Yeah, but that's how quickly it swings. They were so mad.
By the way, did you see how mad people were about that stat that every time Derrick Henry runs runs for 100 yards the titans win yeah it's like of course we know that there's some like that those two don't correlate someone said it they're dumb and then they just use that to basically the analytics no listen football guy thing they just go at each other all the time and they both are just yelling to no one what we've truly learned from this sample size i think it's big enough that in the afc running the football doesn't work right nfc you need to be able to run the football and it doesn't matter if you're able to pass right correct in nfc championship games here's a stat running backs that run for over 200 yards with four touchdowns their team wins 100 of the time so if you can figure out a way to do that in the nC, you're golden. You're going to walk to the Super Bowl.
It's almost like you should just play to your team's strengths. Maybe.
That's really what it comes out to. And to the opponent's weaknesses.
Right, and to the opponent's weaknesses. The run-pass split doesn't really matter if you're able to run the ball really well and if you're able to the Titans not be able to pass, it sucks.
Can I give a shout-out to Salah, the defensive coordinator for the 49ers? Yes. I don't know if anybody picked up on this.
He puked on the sidelines today. Perfect.
Because I'm pretty sure he probably had a dip in or something. But the camera cut to him, and he was, like, coughing for a second.
And then he just blows chunks. He was mad that he didn't get a job.
He just blows chunks. This guy is such a football guy.
His holdback guy had a holdback guy.

Need it.

It was a chain of holdback men.

Elfin walk is what we call it.

Yeah, it was crazy.

It was awesome to watch that defense come out and play.

And Rob Lowe.

Rob Lowe took the internet by storm.

With the shield hat.

Shield hat looked awesome.

So, Hank, you got to the bottom of it, right?

You got actual a word from Rob Lowe's camp,

which Rob Lowe's camp just being his son.

Yes, Rob Lowe's camp said that he was given the hat by the Fox executives right before the game. Huge breaking news.
No one else has that. Shout out to Matt Lowe.
For those of you that don't know, it was just the NFL shield on his hat. He looked like an umpire.
Rooting for both teams. Yeah, rooting for both teams.
Just rooting for Roger Goodell to make money. Just have fun out there, guys.
We have Rob Lowe on one side of the DILF Bowl, and then we have Paul Rudd on the other. Yep.
So it's going to be a big hit for people that grew up in the 90s watching movies. It's going to be great.
So it's official. We got the Super Bowl.
I'm excited. This is going to be a great Super Bowl.
Yeah. I don't know.
You can't really complain. I was happy.
I was going to be happy for the Titans because Mike Vrabel's a friend of the program and everything, but any Super Bowl with Patrick Mahomes is going to be exciting because of the type of player he is. And he's so young, and it feels like...
By the way, there was another thing I saw that was not... I wasn't irritated, but it was just one of those things where I have to maybe clean up who I follow on Twitter NBA Twitter was trying to figure out who Patrick Mahomes is like is he LeBron and Brady's Jordan Steph Curry and then Peyton is Kobe and they were doing the whole fucking thing I was like come on guys we I can't do this right now he's to do this in like three months his was an athlete.
His brother is taller than him.

It was so stupid. It was so stupid.

But yeah, so this is going to be an exciting Super Bowl.

I'm ready for it. I'm ready for it.
We got

two weeks to kill time.

We'll do the storylines on Wednesday.

That's part of the time killing.

Andy Reid's going to be on a diet.

We got to be on a diet.

In solidarity?

Yeah, just to look good at South Beach. I mean, I am on a diet.
Yeah, we have to clean it up. I ate two salads in the last week and a half.
Yeah. Can you imagine? No, I can't.
Can you imagine the state of mind I have to be in to enter the salad realm? Also, I'm two for two in Chiefs playoff games where I just jinx them by them going down and say, thanks for coming out, Chiefs. And then Patrick Mahomes liking that tweet after he wins.
I'm excited to have Travis Kelsey and Greg Kittle going head-to-head so we can find out which tight end is more better than Rob Gronkowski. Hank? I mean, I don't know why you've got to bring former players into this, but it'll be exciting to see who the best current tight end is.
You've got to embrace debate when it comes to finding out who's better than Rob. Whoever wins is going to get their first Super Bowl, that'll be good for them.

I hope it's Kittle.

Yeah.

Oh, you're rooting for the 49ers?

Officially?

As a journalist, you're actually going to root for a team

and not for a storyline?

Not officially.

I'm still up in the air.

Hank is unofficially rooting for the 49ers.

I'm definitely rooting for Kittle.

Okay.

You're rooting for Kittle to have a great game

but don't know who you want to win.

Correct.

But wouldn't you say that if Jimmy G wins a Super Bowl, that is almost another ring for Belichick? Fact. Yeah, but it's going to be one of those things where it's already started with the Boston media being like, did the Patriots actually win? Was it the right move to trade Jimmy Garoppolo two years ago? So if he goes out and has an unbelievable game, it's going to be like...
Eight. Eight.
I hope Jimmy... yeah, I don't know.
I'll save my thoughts for playing. Yeah, we have enough time to get ready for all that.
Okay, before we do our who's back, we're going to do a who's back and a couple quick segments before we get to our interview with Trevor Bauer, which was fantastic, by the way. He's a very interesting guy, and he also has a lot to say about the fact that he called the Astros cheating way before the Astros were found to cheat.
You can like or dislike Trevor Bauer. And sometimes I agree with what he says.
Sometimes I don't. But at the very least, you have to admit that he speaks what he believes to be the truth about everything.
Very literal guy. Solid lols in this interview.
Solid lols. Before we get to who's back and our interview.
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Promo code PMT. Who's back? Hank, who's back? I got a bunch of who's back.
Okay, hit me. Don't steal Connor because I was going to do Connor.
Okay. Brangelina.
Oh, really? They were on an award show tonight. They had a little moment backstage.
They were holding hands. Everyone's getting excited.
What is Brad Pitt's wife think about that? I don't think. I think they're divorced.
Oh, wait. Brad Pitt and Angelina are divorced? no divorce no bennifer bennifer geez that's my bad wow okay not that was a roller coaster wait bennifer is ben affleck and jennifer lope what was brad pitt and jennifer jennifer aniston braniston be a braniston braniston's back king of the north sounds like the shittiest game of thrones character yeah yeah i just got i got up there.
Okay, so Braniston. Brangelina, they're done.
Okay, but Braniston might be that. Wait, Brangelina, they're done? Yeah, yeah.
Brad Pitt and Angelina are broken up? Yeah. When? Does he still have to look after all those kids? Really? Yes, 90% sure.
Yeah, being a dad goes. Fuck.
What the fuck? Does he still have to deal with those kids? Yeah. Yeah, probably.
Legally. Legally.
He is. Yeah, and that's the game.
I did see that he was wearing. That's breaking news to me, by the way.
He was rocking a Kansas City Chiefs hat tonight. Who? Pitt.
Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt.
So they've got Rob Lowe. Yeah, they're divorced.
They've got him. In October.
When? This October? Yeah. Oh, I'm not that bad.
October's not. Yeah, it's not that bad.
It's not that bad. That's football season.
Well, that's when it was finalized. It was announced a while ago.
Okay a while ago my other who's back was just Curb Curb Your Enthusiasm is it Backpack? Backpack like out? yeah it came out today? it's out right now all of them? no just one episode see I can't do that can't do that anymore what? I prefer TV shows that go week by week like so they give you self-control so you don't watch them all at once. I'm always just ready.
I like my TV shows where I can sit down and watch them all in one night and then just never remember what exactly happened. Now, is this going to be a season like they had in the past where there's a storyline that kind of runs through all of it? Yeah, Larry does something awkward.

Yeah.

I have no idea.

Larry finds himself in an awkward situation.

How will he get out of this? Larry does something to us that seems reasonable,

but to the people that he's acting with is unreasonable.

Larry says something to a woman in line,

and then he finds out the woman is actually his neighbor.

Crazy.

I do love the show.

I don't know why I'm mocking it.

I mean, it's a very funny show. Yes, it's a very funny show, but we did kind of nail at least one of the episodes.
Alright, that's it? My other one was... Connor.
Alright, okay. So we'll save that one for Big Cat.
Yeah, yeah. My Who's Back of the Week is technology.
Ooh. Big tech? I'm a big tech guy.
Okay. Did you hear about this article in the New York Times? Came out a couple days ago about Clearview technology.
I'm out of free articles. Who cares? You're out of free articles? I actually, I subscribe to read this article because it's so fascinating.
Can you give me your password? Yeah. Thank you.
Wait, if you're listening to me, big technology out there, no. No, give me your password right now.
You were so triggered about Bloomberg, you made the account and then have found articles since? Yeah.

No, no.

This is before I got triggered by Bloomberg popping up on my TV and ruining football. But it was good that you had the New York Times subscription once you got triggered because you can find out more about it.
If I wanted to. Right.
Yeah. So, all right.
So there's this app called Clearview Artificial Intelligence. And what it does is it can take a picture of your face from any surveillance video and it can run it through their database of pictures anywhere online that will pop up with your pictures and links to all your pictures.
It can search like billions and billions of photos. It's like 10 times bigger database than the FBI is.
And it hooks up to Google Glass technology. So you could be riding on a subway and you could be looking at somebody, just looking at their face, scan their face, and find out everything about them.
So basically, it's Terminator technology. Right now, they're only selling to law enforcement agencies.
Yeah, no, this is bad. Yeah, it's bad.
This is really bad. But as somebody who welcomes the robots, I'm on your side, Clearview.
Trevor Bauer, you'll find out. You'll you'll find out i'm on your side so there was that and then that so i was looking all the stuff up and then something popped up into one of my cookies when i was on a website that was it was an ad for a product no not not tiana trump is that for a product that i had heard listening to my bluetooth speaker like 30 minutes earlier? So I wanted to do an experiment.
I want to do an experiment. I don't know what Funko Pops are.
Okay? Funko Pops. I've heard people discuss them.
I assume they're some sort of dessert toy. Funko Pops.
Funko Pops. Funko Pops.
We're going to repeat the word Funko Pops. And this is for you guys to help out with too.
Don't Google it. Don't Google it.
Do not Google Funko Pops. But if Funko Pops pop up in your cookies for the advertisements, for native advertisements on a website, you let us know.
Because it was us. Because it was us.
And we're very woke to the fact that big tech is listening to all your shit and then adding in ads that pop up on your shit.

Funko pops.

They're double shitting you.

Funko pops.

Funko pops.

Hank, say it one time.

Funko pops.

Funko pops.

Funko pops.

Okay.

My who's back is Conor McGregor.

He's back.

He's so fucking back.

40 seconds.

Cowboy Surround.

40 seconds.

Peace.

He's back.

The shoulder strikes. He invented, yeah.
I love the shoulder strikes. I bought the pay-per-view, which I got shamed for.
I think this is a cultural thing. I think we're a little bit older, and we remember the days of Tyson, and like, ooh, you get in the big pay-per-view.
This is awesome. Everyone gets together.
You watch a big pay-per-view, even Mayweather de la hoya for some reason this is now like uh if i got so many people being like way to go way to buy a pay-per-view for 40 seconds shut up i enjoyed it it was entertainment i got to see a new move conor mcgregor's back i got to see the undercard just shut up but conor mcgregor's back now the question is does he have a the Shadow Realm? I think he probably does. They got to do Masvidal, right? I don't know exactly.
I think Khabib is going in April. And then I think maybe Masvidal's got to fight Khabib.
But maybe, I don't know. Either way, Conor McGregor's back.
It's great. He is still, he is the number one draw in terms of pay-per-views.
I don't want to see another McGregor-Khabib fight, though. No.
Because we know how that's going to go. It's going to be like five rounds of wrestling, and Habib's just going to dominate him the whole time.
He's going to choke him out. I want to see what happens when you put Masvidal in the octagon with McGregor.
Masvidal probably baptizes him. Shadow Realm.
Would be my guess. Shadow Realm.
Shadow Realm, but then he comes back better. Yeah, or Diaz-McGregor again.
That would be cool. That would be awesome.
Either way, it's good for UFC that McGregor is back. And I think that the people that are shaming you are probably younger.
I think there are younger people that are like, we know how to get this fight for free using all our hacking technology that you don't know because you're an old. I want to watch the fight where I can actually watch it on my TV.
I don't want to watch a periscope of it and then see someone's like candles and their weird pictures of their family

in their living room. That's always the best.
I'm sorry.

Like somebody walks in the room and turns

the light on. They're like, hey, turn the light off.
I'm periscoping.

Stop shaming me. For my friends.

I like the feel

of hitting purchase

on a big pay-per-view fight.

It's something about it. You're just like, let's go.

Entertainment for the night. When you get

into the fight and everything's clean and it runs

smoothly, you feel like a boss. Also, I'm not like, I don't go out.
As a matter of fact, it's a $20 fight or a $50 fight. You feel good.
Right. You're contributing to the economy.
I don't go out. I don't drink.
I don't do anything. I buy fights when I want to.
So suck it. We also need to do a quick PR 101 off this fight for our guy, Baker Mayfield.
Tough look. Yes.
So he was sitting next to Miles Garrett wearing a hat, quite a hat. And our guy, John Anik, said, here's Miles Garrett.
Number one pick. Former number one pick.
Well, former number one pick was sitting right next to him. Can you believe that there's a number one pick right here in these stands? Yeah.
Amazing. So this is, and then Colin Coward.
And they cut, then it went to the next slide. It was NFL quarterback, Tom Brady.
Yeah. Like they had that built into the package.
I'm honestly not even shoehorning the Patriots into that. No, I know.
I was watching. Yes, yes.
It showed Baker Mayfield. Then the next slide was a quarterback.
Hank, are you a little nervous that Tom Brady got, as they say in the biz, a great pop in the arena? No. What do you mean? That's what he deserves.
The best part. He got a big pop in Las Vegas, Las Vegas.
And then he was talking to Mark Davis. Is there a team that's going to Las Vegas? A pop.
He got a pop. Seems like Las Vegas is a Tom Brady town.
You see Phil Rivers move. He's moving to Florida.
Yeah. He moved.
He moved out of San Diego because he never moved out of San Diego. Imagine that flight that flight with his whole family I hope he has a private plane he probably doesn't just because he wants to just fucking like put all his kids on a leash through the airport he's like one of those dogs he's basically all wearing a sled team shirts yeah he's got a sled team of children that he's holding on to the reins in front of him he probably did the Vince Vince Young thing and just bought an entire Southwest flight.
Yeah. Just for him and his huge family.
Yes. And Brown's Twitter thinks Baker Mayfield's fat.
Brown's fans. What? He's not fat.
That's a thing going around. He's just thick.
He's always been thick. It's been tough times for us.
He's not fat. It's a Baker podcast.
We'll get through it. PR 101, he should have worn a bigger hat.
Yeah. The hat wasn't big enough.
It needed to be like a Pharrell, that Arby's hat that he wore that one time. As a other big boy, big cat, what would you, for dealing with fat tip? Hats are bad.
So if you're a bigger guy, you need to have your hair have as much volume as possible to hide the fact that you have a fat face. When you put on a hat, it always makes your face look f's just it's a it's a rule you put on a hat unless it's a big hat no it's still because it

because it like you don't have any it doesn't show your hair so your head just all the focus

goes to your fat fucking cheeks so you need to have hair just crazy hair to take away hair and

beard are are a fat guy's best friend if he 100 if he had worn a bigger hat or just his own jersey. Yeah, that would work too.
Maybe John Anik would have mentioned him if he was wearing a jersey and a helmet. Because you need to get recognized if you go in full kit.
Yeah. Then Colin Coward can't talk shit about you in the offseason.
It's like you're always ready to play. It's also kind of awkward that Baker Mayfield still has all these commercials running.
Yeah. I want to talk about commercials.
There should be some sort of clause written to your contract where you can back out of these commercials. The season doesn't go so well.
Maybe let's not run the, hey, I'm sleeping. I'm living in the Browns stadium in the middle of the AFC championship game.
I don't know. The Aaron Rodgers ones are still going too.
Yeah.

With Patrick Mahomes.

I don't understand those commercials, by the way.

It's like Aaron's mad at his agent because he's poor.

That agent guy's a douche.

I kind of like him.

Yeah.

He's looking out for number one.

Yeah, he is looking out for number one.

That's what you need out of an agent.

All right, let's get to Trevor Bauer.

PFT, you got a quick ad before we do Trevor Bauer?

We'll do Trevor Bauer, then we'll take you out.

We have Von Miller on Wednesday, and we will do all of our storylines on Wednesday as well. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Store.barstoolsports.com. And now, Trevor Bauer.
Okay, we now welcome on Trevor Bauer. He's a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, which is that weird now,

having you be announcing you're a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds?

Yeah, it sounds a little different.

I got so used to hearing Cleveland Indians for six or seven years

that I trip up every time.

Right, and I feel like you didn't play enough for the Reds yet

for it to be like, that will be one of those opening days.

Oh, yeah, he's on the Reds now.

Yeah.

So you're joining us. You're here here in studio it's actually perfect timing because uh you are basically the guy who has been vindicated the most in the houston astros situation how have the last like 48 hours been for you watching all this stuff come out well as a fan of uh just the internet in general uh seeing all the funny videos and memes and stuff have been has been really funny for me um just for the sport of it all you know just enjoying laughing about it um but it's been it's been interesting seeing all the things that come out and um things that you know we've heard about as players for a while.
I don't know. It's been an interesting couple days for baseball.
I got mixed feelings on it both ways. Yeah.
You were, I guess, the first person to really point out the spin rate stuff going on with their pitchers. It hasn't been focused so much on that, more on like we saw the bandages and the vibrations on Jose Altuve's back or whatever the allegations are.
And then, of course, all the other stuff with, like, banging the trash cans. So you had heard about the vibrating bandage stuff that came out yesterday.
I've heard that rumor, and I have no firsthand knowledge of it, I'll say that, but I've heard that rumor from three independent people that don't know each other. Interesting.
Around baseball. And generally speaking, when you hear it from multiple sources that aren't, you know, it's not like they're in the same facility or the same team or something like that you know there's mike trout nolan arenado no sources no sources wait so here's what i don't understand how is how are you how have you heard about this for so long and kind of knew about it for so long? It seems like a lot of people knew about it for so long.

It was an open secret and no one did anything about it. First off, players are part of an organization, but in the offseason you train with people from all sorts of different organizations.
Minor leaguers, big leaguers, people in the front offices talk. And it's like baseball has a lot of things that get around that the public doesn't necessarily know about but everyone kind of inside the game knows about um so like just rumors like this spread and people hear things um and but i mean you've seen the backlash from it on the mlb side they don't they don't want and rightfully so it's a i mean it's a black eye for baseball right you, but they don't want that coming out if they can handle it internally, if they can handle it kind of quietly.
And so until the lid gets blown off it publicly, nothing comes out publicly. Stuff gets done, but nothing comes out.
When you would pitch in Houston, would you know that something was up? Would you try to change whatever you did because you're like they're on to me somehow man no i when i pitch i get so locked in on just the hitter that's up there i try to make it as much of a one-on-one like personal competition as possible that i just don't like you could be yelling whatever at me from the stands i just don't hear anything right so i didn't notice it but like it needs to be said that the astros are very very good at a lot of different things that they do legally like their scouting reports and the information they have like going into a game and their approach at the plate is extremely advanced so i know that going in i know that their hitters know my tendencies very very well they hit that way like so i prepare for that game a little bit differently knowing you know kind of how they go about doing things so it didn't really bother me like i didn't think about it competition wise um for me it's just the effect that it has on other players around the league that may not have even played against the astros directly um and for example so if they're stealing signs and their hitters know what's coming let's say you have a position like um just pick a random position a right field position okay and one right fielder for the astros knows what's coming all year and puts up some offensive stats but a right fielder in the national league that doesn't even play the Astros doesn't know what's coming, might not put up the same stats. They both go to the free agency market.
The guy from Houston that put up better stats is going to get more money or get the job if there's limited jobs, and the guy that played in the National League isn't. There's definitely a domino effect that occurs when anything like that goes down.
Now, so for us, we were talking when the scandal first came out, we were like, where is the line crossed between gamesmanship and cheating?

And for us, it was like once you get a battery involved, once you have something that you need to plug into a wall,

whether it's a video monitor or whether it's some sort of, I don't know, like a transmitting device that has a battery in it,

that's when it becomes a little bit over the line. For you as a pitcher, where would that line be for you? I think that's probably a fair assessment.
But look, I mean, people have been doing this for a long time. You'll look at replay video, right? Like the game, after the game or whatever, and you'll say, okay, like is the pitcher tipping pitches that seems to be fair enough

right so then if you creep that forward and you do that in game because we have the live feed we're watching in the in the clubhouse like is that now cheating because you're watching the game on tv well that's hard to say that's cheating right because everybody's watching the game on tv okay so let's creep that forward like it's very very fine line there a lot of a lot of people have been looking at in-game to look at tells like that for a long time. Everyone's fine with it.
I don't have a problem with stealing signs in that way if you're looking at signs. Now, the MLB, actually, and this is one of the things that didn't really get talked about, they came out a couple years, I think two years ago.
Maybe it was just this year, but they put the games on a 15-second delay so that you can't do it in real time for pitch-to-pitch. And that one didn't get talked about a whole lot, but that is one of the ways that they tried to fix or remedy the problem.
But I think, yeah, if you have a transmitter or something like that, that's probably a good line. Also, just the rate at which you can do it.
If you have a guy on second base and he picks to catch your signs, that's perfectly legal. But if you someone that's sitting there and like able to analyze in real time like i don't know maybe you have a computer algorithm or you have some sort of code cracking system or whatnot that once a nerd gets involved right then it's cheating i agree hey man i'm a nerd i'm a nerd so yeah but it is interesting because baseball unlike any other sport it feels like baseball has always had a culture of cheating whether you just go back in the like passive baseball there's this gray area where everyone's kind of trying to do it and it's the unwritten rules and all this stuff so i'm not surprised by it and it almost feels inevitable that every 20 years baseball will have something like this i guess the the transmitter like the band-aid transmitter that's crazy like that would be and do you believe that's true i don't it's hard for me to say one way or the other definitively all i know is i've heard from three different people independent sources that it's true i also like i know how advanced the astros are in a lot of their systems and stuff so it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility so yeah I don't have like a firm opinion on it but it's shady either way.
Did you make that video where you were saying you were playing poker that night and you had the mandate? Was that in 2018? That was I think that was no that was last or that was this off season but um 20 yeah 29 november i think okay now is that a joke at the astro yeah yeah yeah so you made that joke before any of this came out yeah full year no no like a few months two months yeah it's mid-november yeah all right but still that was the joke you were making he had if you didn't see the video, Trevor had a little band-aid on his chest. He's like, going to play poker tonight.
Hope I can read my opponents pretty well or read my cards pretty well. And he shows the band-aid.
See, if they were smart, Altuve would have just put the band-aid directly over his nipple and just say, I get chaffed. So this is just protecting me against my nipples bleeding.
That's a real thing. Yeah, it is.
It's a very serious issue in America. Yes, absolutely.
This morning, Buster Olney was saying that he thinks that pitchers are going to start throwing at Astros batters next year. Have you thought about that? Well, I personally won't play the Astros next year unless we face them in the postseason.
So I won't be doing that. I also don't think that that's the right way to handle things.
Like, I mean, getting hit in the head or just hit in general is dangerous. I got hit with a 92-mile-an-hour line drive in 2018 and broke a shin.
From Altuve? No, no, unfortunately not. Who hit you in the shin? No, it was the first baseman in Chicago at the White Sox.
I'm blanking on his name. Mark Grace.
Abreu. Abreu, yeah.
So, I mean, that was just 92, and it hit me in the very lower leg, but I missed six weeks. It's dangerous.
I never want to see people get thrown at. Unfortunately, I think that's going to happen, just given all the different personalities in the league and how strongly players feel about this issue right i've talked to i mean i probably talked to 10 or more players yesterday and getting their thoughts and feelings on you know all different aspects of it and people are not too happy right because guys are probably like hey if we're playing it straight up and they're, it's bullshit.
So last question I have about the Astros and what everything is going on here.

So going forward, do you think – how many teams do you think

are going to be caught up in all this stuff?

How many teams do you think – how widespread is this thing?

Well, I think that goes back to the question earlier about what is the line.

Right.

So first I think we have to decide what the line is, and we can talk about who is who's crossed it and who hasn't um man i mean three maybe maybe it's it's so hard to say right i don't think it's just the astros though i think there's other teams doing something similar or the. The Astros were just the team that everyone kind of knew about.
I think that's it. And also, like, they get a little bit of a bad reputation for how they treat people.
And, again, I have to preface all this by saying I'm not an Astros employee. I've never played for them.
I don't know firsthand, right? But you hear things, people talking about how they treat their employees or how they you know just different feelings and stuff so um when that's the case if something goes down you become a target you know so i don't know it's um it's a black eye for baseball though for sure i'm glad it's getting cleaned up hopefully they get it all cleaned up and we can just move past it and go back to juicing the baseballs yeah yeah right well hey home runs home runs are fine everyone loves home runs right that's the best part is like bring back the super bowl bats yeah don't cheat in baseball but baseball's juicing baseballs so out of the people that you've talked to around the league what is what is the general sentiment in terms of the punishment that people would like to see happen? Oh, man, that varies so much. Some people are like, oh, man, they really got hammered.
Some people are like, oh, that's just a slap on the wrist. I think it kind of depends on the person's personal level of involvement with it.
Right. I feel like Clayton Kershaw.
You know what? Here's what we'll do for Clayton Kershaw. I will remove one strike, one tally mark from the Clayton Kershaw can't pitch in the postseason chart that I keep at my desk.
Yes, yes, that's fair. Man, poor Clayton.
I think he gets such a bad rap on that. I know.
It's so unfortunate that it's happened to him. Do you – it really is.
Have any of the guys that you got into the Twitter beef with on the Astros, have any of them reached out and been like, oh, it looks like you were right? No, of course not. Okay.
Well, they should. Do you think it would be possible to be a player on the Astros, like any player on the team, and not know that this was going on? Oh, man.
Good question. I think it would be possible.
Really? I do. Unlikely.
The bullpen guy? Unlikely, I'll say. But I i do think it's possible i don't think that everybody there is a cheater or like was complicit in it and also something that needs to be said about this too is what are the guys there like let's say there's a player on the team that doesn't agree with what's going on what is he supposed to do right in reality right like can he come out and blow the whistle on his own team he'll never play again right yeah he'll get blackballed who can you talk

to in your organization you might not know who's a safe person to to raise that flag with right i

mean if it is organization-wide and everybody's doing it then you don't have an outlet to go you

can go anonymously to the media maybe but then like it's just that you're risking so much you're

risking millions of dollars your job i mean if you have a family, being able to support them. Like, I've seen some takes about, oh, Fires didn't come out early enough and he should have come out when it was happening.
It's like, what do you expect the guy to do? Right. He can't do that.
Right. Yeah, he would definitely be blackballed.
All right, so moving on from the Astros, you are very active on Twitter. Yes.
Would you say it's safe to say you're a dick on Twitter? I think I get a bad reputation because my sense of humor doesn't come across to people that don't know me directly. Got it.
So it's just a prank. I do things a lot for the laughs.
I'm very, very, very rarely serious okay in i mean in in life on twitter uh i just baseball is one thing that makes me serious like when i pitch after my post game interviews and stuff i'm still like in that locked in mode but other than that i joke around non-stop so i just like i like making people laugh i like keeping it light and i think for people don't know me, it comes across that I'm upset or being a dick or whatever. That's not the case.
Are there any posts that you would take back that you regret? Yeah, there's one. There's one.
Which one was that? Do we got to get into it? Yeah, when you bullied the girl? No. For like a week? Do you regret how that played it was like it was i i don't think that you were trying to attack her personally but i think what ended up happening was since you kept engaging whether other people saw this and she's not you know she doesn't know that you're joking around necessarily right she's not inside your head and so there were people that were tweeting at her for the week and it made her uncomfortable no doubt that kind You see how that kind of played out? No, yeah, of course.
I see how it played out. And that was never my intention to make someone miserable.
I never have that intention, right? I responded a couple times directly to her. And in my eyes, it was just like a playful banter.
Like, hey, you're my least favorite player. Welcome to the fan club.
I don't think you have fans. Well, I have 174,000 people on Twitter that say differently.
Like it's just this back and forth kind of like banter, right? And then the way Twitter works, other people start commenting on it and you get tagged and there's 15 people tagged in a tweet or something like that. And it's hard to tell who's talking to who, when, and what's being said to which reply.
And so we both end up tagging a lot of tweets that people were talking about and so i would respond to other people but she would be tagged in it and so it just kept yeah kept on going it was never my intention to go at her directly i had no ill will towards her or anybody honestly on twitter like like i said it's just for the jokes just for the laughs i'd you do the iced tea method yeah talk a little shit log off yeah exactly. Sometimes I don't log off quick enough.
Yeah, so that wasn't your one tweet that you regret. No, no.
What was the one tweet you regret? There's an exchange a couple years back where people were going back about, like, oh, you should quit Twitter. You should do this.
Like, I hope your mom gets cancer. Just general, like, BS ons on twitter right right and um someone said something to me and i responded like a in a way trying to illuminate basically like how ridiculous uh the person sounded and i said you know feel free to delete yourself or something like that right and i i meant nothing by it you know but of course it comes off as like i'm encouraging right Right, right, right.
Yeah, that one, I mean, that one definitely crossed the line. I do feel bad about that one.
I deleted it. Okay, so there's the contrition.
Boom. You ended up deleting yourself.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. I want to say thank you.
I'm a Cubs fan. So thank you.
You're welcome. For being an idiot.
Yeah. With the drone.
Oh, great. Hold on.
I'm not just an idiot with the drone. I'm always an idiot.
But hold on. Spin zone here.
Our guy Hank, he's a producer. He has also cut his finger on a drone.
Oh, baby. And was out on the DL for a while.
How long? Well, I wasn't really playing a sport. I had to get some stitches in my hand.
I was out for like a week. How many did you get? Just like two.
It wasn't too bad. It was just like the top of my middle finger.
What happened? What exactly happened when that went down? Oh, man. So I custom designed all my own drones, right? Really? I designed them on CAD.
I get the parts either cut by... And these are the racing drones, though.
I was i was like filming like i was trying to do one oh yeah camera like this is you're talking about like the drone racing like yeah yeah this is the one that i built like topped out about 80 miles an hour okay um but i custom design everything right so then i have to assemble all of it i have a 3d printer i print my own parts i get the electronics wired up all this different stuff so i just finished this brand new design i went out earlier that day and i flew it and it was doing well and then in the middle of a flight it kind of tumbled out of the air and usually when that happens a motor went bad right so um but he's shaking his head he's like this is exactly what happened yeah so the way the way you test it is you you know normally you would take the props off and you would turn the motors on and see which one didn't spin. But these motors are tricky sometimes because if there's no load on them, if there's no prop, they'll spin.
But as soon as you put a load on it, it won't spin. So I set it on my bed and the plan is to flick it on, you know, stand back like 15 feet in the room flick it on see which motor doesn't spin

turn it off and then i know which one to fix so as soon as i touched the battery leads there's

like a short in the flight controller board i touched the battery leads and one of the

the motor that wasn't working spun at full throttle had the prop on it and it cut me

three times before i could get my hand out of there oh yeah so i okay so the way you just

described it i'm gonna say you're not an idiot i thought you just grabbed it out of the air okay that would have been way sicker if i did that you were just flying drones like before a game on the field and you're like here comes my drone and just snagged it and like boom i cut my finger to be honest not an idiot we've probably what is it perpetuated that myth yeah that you've done that we just snatching drones out of the. We assume that you hurt your hand the exact same way that Hank hurt his hand.
I get super nervous anytime I say. I won't go near him when the blades are spinning out.
That's smart. So every time I turn it on, I put my feet on top of the propellers so that they can't spin when I plug it in.
You're going to cut your foot, though. Yes.
I got shoes on, so. Ah.
See? All right, you're not. Yeah, he's smart.
I mean, here's the other thing. Here's the other nice part about this.
There's a long list of dumb baseball injuries, so you're just part of that. Like, that is actually a prideful thing.
Like, who is it? There's the Guitar Hero one, right? Yeah, the Guitar Hero. I know Sammy Sosa sneezed and threw out his back.
I think John Smoltz tried to iron a shirt that he was wearing.

Burned himself.

It was one back in the day.

Somebody broke their wrist washing their car.

Yeah.

Chris Sale broke his ankle walking off his truck.

Cespedes, the wild boar.

He broke his ankle being chased by a wild boar.

A lot of shower injuries, too.

You're just in there, yeah.

I'm on that list.

I'm on the dumb throwing the ball out of the stadium list. I'm on a lot of lists.
That was kind of a flex by you. Yeah.
But you do that a lot, right? Yeah, I do that a lot, just not in a game. Right.
That was the flex part where you're like, look at me, strong man. Throw.
That was actually nowhere close to my max distance. I think I threw it from 10 feet behind the mound.
I think it's 410 in Kaufman, so it must have been like a 340-foot throw or something like that, 330-foot throw. But I've been out to 400 before.
Damn. That's crazy.
400. So wait, when you do that, do you think that played a part in you getting traded? It's two days later.
How much can I...

Yeah, it looks like I asked a good question.

It might have.

Obviously, any information you have going into the deadline

plays a part in decisions that are being made

and emotions that are had right then.

Right, right.

Okay, so maybe that had a part.

Because it was two days later.

That was your last start.

That was my last start, yeah.

Last throw I made as an Indian. But the Reds probably probably saw that and they were like that was cool as shit well mind you at the time that it was going on well not like at that time um specifically on like that sunday but when i got traded puig was in that same trade and he was involved in that amir garrett pirates brawl yes which is awesome yeah um so we have yeah i'm getting traded to the reds puig has been traded to the indians but it's currently brawling with the pirates and i think the reds twitter came out and just said the tweet was a lot's going on right now yeah and then didn't you go back to to the indians games after you'd been traded oh yeah yeah so okay So for people that don't know about kind of how a trade works, I have a – Momentum made a video for me, my media company, of kind of the behind the scenes of it.
But there's a lot of stuff you have to do when you get traded. You got to clean your locker out.
You got to talk to the media usually. There's a lot of things that go on.
You tip the clubbies. You say bye to everybody, all this different stuff.
Right? So I found out that I got traded at like 11 o'clock at night and I got to pack my entire apartment up, get my stuff. I want to get to the Reds as soon as possible, join the team.
So I was asked that night not to talk to the media because it wasn't technically official yet until all the physicals cleared and stuff like that. So I decided I was going to talk to the media the next day.
So I didn't bother to pack up my locker or anything. I just went home, packed up my apartment, and I was going to come back the next day to pack up my locker.
So I did. I came back in the morning, packed up my locker, but when I came back, in the rush of everything, I forgot my checkbook.
So I didn't have, I couldn't tip the clubbies, couldn't take care of the people that were, you know. You know it's 2019, right? Yeah, I still write checks.
Just wanted to make sure. You were going to tip the clubhouse guys with checks.
That's always what I do. Honestly, that's a shock.
You seem like a Bitcoin guy. Monero.
Monero? Is that altcoins? Yeah, different altcoins. Have you heard of Bitcoin 2Gen? I have not.
I'll tell you about it after the interview. Okay.
All right, but keep going. Yeah, so I go back in the morning, don't have my check my checkbook clean out my entire locker but i went i made sure to get there before anyone was there so i didn't have to like you know i wasn't in the way of any of the new guys coming in or whatever the case is so go back home and i still hadn't talked to the media because they weren't there when i got there so i was supposed to come back my media director asked me to come back uh closer to game time when all the media was there to talk to the media.

So I come back and stand in the hallway outside of the clubhouse.

Never actually went in and gave the head clubby Tony checks to distribute to everybody and thanked him and stuff like that.

And then went to talk to the media.

Did the whole media scrum.

The game was going on. And so after that, I was like, you know, I've never actually seen a game in progressive.
I've never been in the third deck, right? I've never like walked around the stadium while I'm here before I leave. I might as well just go see what it's like as a fan.
Cause I've never done that before, you know? And so that's what I did. I went, went up to the third deck, walked around, went out to the, um, the bridge and the home run porch and just kind of checked out like an inning and a half of the game just for novelty's sake, right? And then I got blown up and, you know, someone snapped a picture of me and it kind of went viral on Twitter and people had all their different opinions.
But yeah, that was the story behind it. That's kind of cool.
Yeah, I mean, you never like think like a guy doesn't, you know, pitcher or player doesn't get to watch the game from the stands. Why not check it out? Yeah, I've never actually been to a game, an MLB game while I've been a player.
Because we're in the dugout. Did you buy anything? Did you buy beer? No, no.
Actually, I had some... Did you buy a Trevor Bauer jersey? Just so you can take one for the road.
I had a couple from my locker that we get to keep. But I had some extra bobbleheads because my bobblehead night was two weeks earlier or something.
That's awkward. I had a couple sitting around in my locker, so I actually handed those out to some fans and whatnot.
All right, man of the people. All right, so you have – I was reading you have 19 pitches? Over the course of my career, I've thrown a lot of different variations.

Can you name them all?

No, some can't be said on air.

Oh, whoa.

Okay, we'll believe them out.

No, no, no.

Can you write it down and we won't say it?

Have you ever thrown an E-fist?

I'm working on an E-fist, actually.

Yes.

I want to throw an E-fist.

Yes, do it.

Some of those videos of the 50-mile-an-hour slow-pitch softball- pitches that just land perfect i mean it'd be so great to pull that out in a game el duque yeah do you think you could you think that it would screw a hitter up if you if you just bust it out an e-fist i think it would the first time but i mean as a rod showed us if you throw two in a row they get destroyed they get smashed but you got that one time it's like and now it's just one other thing for them to think about right did you ever see the uh darvish grinky game which one where they were going back and forth with ephus curveballs yes i remember that yeah they just kept getting slower and slower they got down to like the mid 50s and like darvish would throw in at 70 and green he'd be like nope i'm throwing at 69 and then dar like, I got 65. And then Grinke's like, oh, I can go 60.
As the game went along, they just kept throwing these big looping EFIS. It was great.
You need the EFIS. Wait, so don't tell us what the no-name pitches do.
Just tell us the name of the pitch. Can you do that? Like one of your mystery pitches.
Can you tell us the name? No, that's what he's saying. No, that's what I can't say.
That's what I can't say why that's because they're dirty words got potentially dirty words and got it yeah just internal named after people internal yeah there might be there's you know there's some there's some skeletons in the closet there what about a gyro ball uh okay so you know what a gyro ball is you know what gyroscopic spin is absolutely not delicious okay yeah uh a football so a football a spiral it's gyroscopic spin is? Absolutely not. Delicious.
Okay, yeah. A football.
So a football spiral, that's gyroscopic spin. The axis of rotation is pointed in the direction of travel of the ball.
So a lot of people throw gyro balls, actually, in the big leagues. They're just sliders that don't, you know, they're just a gyro spinning slider.
I hear the term gyro ball, and I think back to the dice case pitch. He's the only one on planet Earth that knows how to throw it.
Yeah, I got to break some myths here. Okay.
Can you throw a knuckleball? So I actually throw three knuckleballs at the end of every throwing session because I figure when I'm like 40 and throw 82, I might be able to extend my career a couple years if I work on it. So it's a slow build.
But it's working? I'd say it works like once every two weeks. Interesting.
Which is up from never. So it's improving.
Yeah, it's improving very slowly. By the time you're 42, you'll be able to throw like 100 knuckleballs.
I think I'm on pace. You have to make the joke.
Oh, the off-speed pitch coming. Where's the trash can?

It's the air in the pipes.

Thanks for setting me up for that one.

What about a screwball?

I've thrown a screwball, actually, in the past.

I called it a reverse slider.

Back in college, my idea was to create a slider spin, but the opposite way.

And that's basically just a screwball.

It worked. It was fine.
But as I dropped my arm angle angle i couldn't get to the inside of the ball as easily and so i kind of nixed it you're like a mad scientist you like to tinker with things i do you're like the breaking bad of pitchers i read that you melted down like coca-cola and pine tar and mixed them together is that true yeah I heard about this ex-Detroit pitcher who used this mixture, and so I decided to test it out and see what happened, and my spin rate went up 400 RPM. How? Were you like, science, bitch.
Yeah, pretty much those exact words. Put an Astros jersey on me.
Spin rate, baby. No, I've checked out a lot of different stuff.
I test a lot of stuff in the off-season, from foreign substance to aerodynamic effects to – right now I'm throwing with special swimming goggles with duct tape on them for testing some eyesight stuff. So I tinker with a lot of stuff.
You can use those PFTs. Yeah.
I got some rec specs that are tinted if you want them. Might as well try them out.
We'll see. So do you, because I've watched some of your videos where you're tinkering with everything.
Do you, in your mind, are you like, if I can just tinker long enough, I'm going to eventually just never give up a hit again? I wish. That's the goal, right? It feels like you're thinking that, which I love.
I love that idea of like, I can perfect this. Right.
Let's get as close to perfection as possible. Right.
With the understanding that you'll never actually get there because we're unfortunately still human and cyborgs haven't taken over yet. But you're trying to make yourself a cyborg.
Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah.
Do you welcome the cyborgs? Actually, that's how I want to die. I want to die either in the robot revolution or get killed by a Decepticon.
Now, are you saying that? Are you just saying you want to die in the robot revolution to, like, befriend the robots? So, like, I mean, like, I'm going to you right now. They're probably going to kill me anyway.
I just want to see. But I'm on to you.
That's where you're wrong. See, you're saying that you want to die fighting against the cyborgs.
I want the robots in all artificial intelligence. No, I'm on its side right now from the get-go.
I'm selling out my people. So when they eventually do become sentient and can fight in wars, they know I'm a good guy.
There we go. They'll probably enslave you.
That's fine. They might look at your Twitter and be like, hey, this guy's jokes aren't funny.
He must be a robot. Hey, that's a great point.
That is a great point. Can you power rank things that are most hilarious out of these three?

Oh, boy.

69.

Yes.

Okay.

420.

All right.

And BOFA.

BOFA's got to be at the top, man.

You still like BOFA?

BOFA's got to be at the top for sure.

There's so many different applications for it.

I actually have a shirt, Bauer Outage for America. Itica and just says both it's like a political campaign so both has got to be number one and then um yeah 69 is just nice so that's a that's a it's a good second place yeah 420 and third that contract that you signed was pretty pretty sick what happened what's the story behind so full of regrets you know really i wanted to file it a very certain specific number and didn't get to um but yeah no it was i just like i said i'm i do it for the laws yeah you have some fun yeah i like that you're not taking it too seriously because i think that that you are right when you were explaining twitter earlier i think a lot of people take twitter very seriously yes and everything they read they're like this is meant literally and they don't realize that half the things that

we say on twitter are just joking just fucking around 100 right like if you're sitting out at

a bar with friends and you say some of the stuff it comes off completely different than if you write

the exact same thing in the exact same context on twitter it is true that's the twitter is dangerous

that way have you tried skyline chili yet i have not i was only actually in the city of cincinnati for about a month because we play you know half our time's on the road right and so between trying to find a place to live and then a place to stay for next season and figure out how to actually get to the field and how not to mess up with timing and routines and stuff like that.

I didn't really try anything.

Right.

Okay.

It's delicious.

It is delicious.

I'm not.

Yeah.

It's terrible.

I've heard mixed reviews.

A lot of people in Cincinnati swear by it.

They love it.

Basically, anybody outside of Cincinnati has negative reviews of it.

So, yeah, I'm excited to try it.

All right. I got one last question.
It's a Seeky question. Put in promo code TAKE.
Go to a Reds game next year. Promo code TAKE.
Get $10 off. Now that you're in the NL Central, I don't know if you've ever played in Milwaukee.
Did the Indians ever go play in Milwaukee? Yeah, we played there a couple times. All right, so heads up, the Pfister Hotel is haunted.
I'm all about it. So go there.
We actually had a ghost hunter and we ghost hunted in the Pfister Hotel. How did that turn out? Did you find anything? They found a shitload of ghosts.
They brought in their equipment, they measured the frequency of the signals from the ghost and the poltergeist. There was a poltergeist in the room.
Actually, it was Hank's room, right? Yeah, it was a whole thing. Sick.
Yes. You guys gotta take me next time.
That sounds awesome. We can go ghost hunting.
We'll do ghost hunting. Let's make a TV show.
Anytime you want to do ghost hunting, we'll ghost hunt. What do you do in the off days? Do you just hang out? I run two businesses and train nonstop.
So you just hang out? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.
Okay. Got it.
Got it. My last question, I want to know more about the transcranial direct current stimulation.
Oh, yeah. Wow.
Man, you dug deep. Apparently, well, I read a single article.
Okay. It was a good article.
A lot of it, yeah. It's good research.
So apparently you hook up electrodes to your head and you electrocute yourself and it helps you learn facts faster. Yes, basically.
And it works? Well, it's really hard to say. have some studies that the the study that i read they did with um sniper training and they had one group that would wear the actual unit and one group that would wear a placebo unit and they were testing target acquisition so they'd flash a target out there and see if it was you know an enemy or a friendly or whatever right and the group that used the actual unit vastly outperformed the group that didn't in a six-week study.
And they're super accurate. They had a much higher accuracy in identifying the target and also hitting the target.
So were they getting electrocuted as they were trying to search for the targets or was this immediately after? No, it's immediately after. So you have this hour-ish long window after you use it in which you can work on your skill, and your brain is just hypersensitive to acquiring new information.
We should do that. We should electrocute ourselves to do Rubik's Cubes.
We've been trying to figure out how to do that. Yes.
Or anything. Become geniuses.
Pro tip here, though, make sure that the lead is all the way plugged into the machine, because if it's only halfway plugged gonna be a new injury for you isn't it like trevor bauer dl brain stimulation so the first time i plugged it in i thought it was all the way in i turned it on and i'm like okay i turn it up a little bit like very low just to test it out and i'm like i don't really feel anything and all of a sudden i got this everything just went white just like flash like concussion yeah you became powder yeah i don't know what i became i was gone for a second that's fascinating yeah you're obviously very intellectually curious guy which i appreciate the hell out of because those people are always the most interesting people what other things are you like tinkering with along those lines you got any other theories that you're going with we're we're we're, too. Man, I'll test anything in the offseason, honestly.
There's the amount of different substances I've tested on the ball. What about prayer? I have prayed.
Oh, Lord. I have prayed.
There are certain times where I'll mostly around Duke basketball games. You're a Duke fan? I'm a big Duke fan.
Oh, God. Oh, is that it? Oh, God, Trevor.
You guys aren't just twins. He's a Duke fan, too.
I'm actually going to the game tomorrow. After every loss, you need to pray for Coach K's health whenever there is because he's always got the flu or a back injury.
My man does not sleep very often. Why? He's just too busy giving cash away? What's going on? I don't know anything about that, all right? Yeah, right.
Exactly. All Duke fans don't know anything about that.
Man, I liked you, too, and then you just dropped the Duke bomb on us. You shouldn't like me, so I'm glad we've come full circle.
But see, this is where I think that you're playing mind games. You like being unliked.
I think there's a lot of fun to be had in that gray ground. But if you like being unliked, if I unlike you, then you are really liking that, so I'm making you happy.
Yes. Yeah, so either way, I win, right? So if you like me, I win.
And if you dislike me, I'm like, oh, yes, I win. Right, so you're like me i win and if you dislike me i'm like oh

yes i win right so you're like a troll in real life where if somebody doesn't like you you're

laughing at them because they don't get the joke but if they do like you you like funny you like

them because they think you're funny exactly i got you yeah you'll be the smartest man i've ever

talked to or the dumbest i don't't know. Probably that.
All right.

Well, Trevor, thank you very much.

Appreciate your time, man.

Yeah, it's been great.

Thanks for having me on.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Love you guys. Thank you.
Take me out of here Take me out of here

Take me out of here Thank you. Thank you.
Take on feet.