NFL Preview, Game Breakdown With Warren Sharp + Paul Rabil And Our Lacrosse Team Ownership

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have divisional round preview with Warren Sharp. Football smart.
We talk about each game, strengths and weaknesses. We also give you our picks.

Speaker 1 We have a very good interview with Paul Rabel, who came in. We talked about being owners of a lacrosse team, what we can and can't do, a little brainstorm sesh.
I'm just going to say this right now.

Speaker 1 If this podcast doesn't exist in six months, it's because PFT and I have figured out a way to milk the PLL for all it's worth. And now we're just fat cats owning lacrosse teams.

Speaker 1 We have Firefest, we have FAQs, a little PR 101, a packed Friday show for you.

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Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Catch App. Go download it right now.
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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, January 10th, and we're going to get to the divisional round. We have a lot of divisional round, but we have to talk first.
Mike Leach in the SEC, a match made in heaven.

Speaker 1 Maybe not from a football standpoint, from an entertainment standpoint. Lane Kiffen versus Mike Leach in the Egg Bowl is going.
I hope it happens for 50 years.

Speaker 1 He's going to throw the ball so much, and it's going to confuse the shit out of Mississippians. And he's not going to play defense.
They're going to be like,

Speaker 1 this is not football. But they're going to win some games.
They're going to be fun to watch. From our standpoint, it is an amazing hire.
It gives us a lot to talk about.

Speaker 1 I love, if you look at the SEC, and I was looking at all the coaches they have this year, like the new guys who they have in place already,

Speaker 1 it is insane.

Speaker 1 They all are just great characters. It's like real housewives of the American Southeast.
Yes. Nick Saban, Cocho, Dan Mullen, and his wife kissing everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's probably the most normal person, the guy that just lets his wife play tonsil hockey with the secondary. Yeah, Kirby's smart, and whenever he takes off his visor, looking like a weird

Speaker 1 casket salesman.

Speaker 1 And now you have

Speaker 1 Mike Leach. A caddy who's in dentistry dentistry school.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 but that works too. And then Lane Kiffin and all these guys, it's going to be SEC Media Day is going to be fantastic.
Mike Leach being in that conference. Again, I don't know if it will work.

Speaker 1 Although, no, you know what? We'll define work.

Speaker 1 No, it's going to work because what Mike Leach does better than any coach is he goes to programs that are not traditional powerhouses, programs that are off the beaten path.

Speaker 1 You know, Lubbock, Texas, Pullman, Washington, Starkville, Mississippi, and he wins with not the best recruiting classes. He actually will have probably his best recruit.

Speaker 1 He'll have his best quality of players at Mississippi State than he's had anywhere else. That's true.
He just has to play against other good quality recruits.

Speaker 1 That part is, if he could figure out a way to play with Mississippi State in like

Speaker 1 the American or the Pact 1. Yeah, that would be great.
That would be perfect. So apparently,

Speaker 1 Gardner Minshew pulled a few strings because Mississippi State is pretty close to where Gardner grew up, right? And Gardner, you'll recall, is on his cross-country RV tour in his jorts right now.

Speaker 1 not mad that you stole grit week taking all of i-10 across the country which is i think we had that idea a while ago to do grit week i-10.

Speaker 1 it's awesome it's exactly what i would love to do if i was 23 years old an nfl quarterback and had uh he probably doesn't have millions but a million yeah and i guess gardner like had had some words with the chancellor or the athletic director whoever at mississippi's i assume it's the same person yep like the athletic director is the most powerful person in the state of mississippi it's the guy who has the most eggs in stark field exactly so he had some words with them they flew the private jet down to miami drove drove to Key West.

Speaker 1 I think they just wanted to go to Key West. Yes.
And they happened to talk to Mike Leach. They walked into his bar.
He's got his own bar stool at that one, that Daiquiri place in Key West.

Speaker 1 So this is adding up to be an awesome, awesome SEC season next year. I'm excited about next year, and this year is not even done.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we, speaking of this year, we're going to New Orleans on Sunday morning. We will be in New Orleans.
We are going to,

Speaker 1 we probably won't be out much Sunday night because we got to do the show. We got to deliver the show to the people.
We have some big guests lined up.

Speaker 1 And, well, no, we'll be out, but I'm saying, like, don't tweet us at like five o'clock being like, where are the guys at? Right. We're going to be recording the show afterwards.

Speaker 1 And after 10, we will be out. You know what I want to do? I've always wanted to do this in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Go to one of those bars where the ladies come around with the shots that they inject into your mouth and then they slap you afterwards. Oh.
I want to get slapped after having

Speaker 1 put a mouse. You want to be dommed.
I want to be dommed

Speaker 1 on bourbon or freeze. We can make that happen.
Yeah. So we'll be at the game on Monday night.
We're going to be out and about. If you see us, say hello.

Speaker 1 Maybe we'll tweet out where we're at at one point, see if people can meet up with us. But we're excited for that.

Speaker 1 What we also are excited for is

Speaker 1 the divisional round. So football's back.
So embrace debate. Is this the best football weekend of the year, or do you like wild card? I like the divisional round better.

Speaker 1 Do I have to decide between those two? Because I love Championship Sunday. That's also a good one.
I feel like the national championship being Monday should factor into it, too. That's true.

Speaker 1 You get the come down. But it usually is after wild card weekend, so tough.

Speaker 1 So this year

Speaker 1 you like the divisional round better because you get three days of football. Yes, I like the divisional round better this year.

Speaker 1 Let's do some picks. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to do a full preview with Warren Sharp where he actually digs into the analytics and how these games are going to go. But here's my can't-lose parlay, and here's the reasoning:

Speaker 1 since 2011, PFT,

Speaker 1 in the divisional round, the home team is 25-7 straight up. Okay.

Speaker 1 But they are 15-17 against the spread. Not great.
Seven points or more. How many of those losses came against Joe Flacco? That's a good question.
I do not know. Three or four? Seven.

Speaker 1 If the team is favored by seven points or more, which is the 49ers, which is the Chiefs and the Ravens, they're only seven and 11 against the spread. So laying all those points, not a great strategy.

Speaker 1 That's where my can't-lose parlay comes in. The 49ers, the Ravens, the Chiefs.
Parlay them all, plus 105 on Ben MGM, even money everywhere else.

Speaker 1 How does that lose? I don't see a way that it does. How does that lose? I even, yeah, it doesn't.
I even I had the confidence. I took the Niners when it was at six and a half.

Speaker 1 I'm j I'm actually starting to rethink it. The only way it could possibly lose, it's not a primetime game for Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 According to his Minnesota clock, it's semi-prime time. Yes,

Speaker 1 semi-time. Right.
But it's going to be at 4.30 Eastern time. Right.
So I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I've talked a lot of shit about Kirk Cousins. He didn't play a prime time game last week.
Anyone? Here's my thing, though.

Speaker 1 Every year it feels like this happens in a divisional round, especially last year. I think they went 4-0.

Speaker 1 The teams with the buy, we forget why they have a buy because they're really fucking good. Yep.
And so you see the Vikings beat the Saints and you say, oh my God, are the Vikings figuring it out?

Speaker 1 Well, guess what? The 49ers kick the shit out of everyone all year. They're really damn good.
The only thing that I'm worried about is Jimmy G's first playoff start. We saw it last week.

Speaker 1 First playoff starts went one and two. So that a little bit of concern.
But if you take the money line, no sweat. The Vikings aren't winning this game.

Speaker 1 The 49ers also are 6-1 against the spread at home. Love that.
So I like that a lot. Love that.
All right, so the Titans-Ravens game.

Speaker 1 I've convinced myself that this will be a close game in the first half, but no more than that. It's going to be

Speaker 1 interesting. So

Speaker 1 I've got the, I think I'm going to take the Titans to cover. I don't know if I'm going to take them straight up just yet.
I do know it's going to be the fastest game in NFL history.

Speaker 1 It's going to be just run the ball, run the ball, run the ball for both teams.

Speaker 1 I tried to do the math, and I suck at math. I'm good at sabermetrics.
I suck at math. I was trying to figure out what is the longest drive possible.
for an NFL team to have.

Speaker 1 If you gave Derrick Henry the

Speaker 1 And you're trying to eat up because they'll say like this is the smartest, dumb-sounding thing that you can say to beat Lamar Jackson. You just have to not let Lamar Jackson have the ball.

Speaker 1 So, if you run the ball with Derrick Henry every down,

Speaker 1 how long could the longest possible drive be?

Speaker 1 I know the answer to this because it happened to me when I bet on Appalachian State earlier this year and they had a 13-play drive that went for like 13 and a half minutes.

Speaker 1 That's not actually what it is. It could be longer.
So, I think I crunched the math on a touchback. So, if it starts at like the 25-yard line, right? Okay.

Speaker 1 16 minutes and a half. 16 minutes, 30 seconds, I think is the longest drive possible if he gains 3.3 yards of carry.
And this is not including going forward on any fourth downs. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about just like keeping the chains moving on three plays each. Okay, so you think that could happen in this game? No, but I'm saying like you have to have a drive.

Speaker 1 If the Titans have a single drive that's over 11 minutes long, then they will win this game. Yes, so I'm convinced.
I'm really going out on a limb on that one. I'm telling myself that this might...

Speaker 1 Okay, so actually I'm looking it up right now. You ready for this Appalachian State Drive? This is somewhere in the middle of October.
My brain immediately went to it.

Speaker 1 They had a 19-play drive, 97 yards, 10 minutes, and 11 seconds. Yeah.
That's insane. That's insane.
So this game, if the Titans do win, which I do not think they will, are we saying Team of Destiny?

Speaker 1 I think they've absorbed the Patriots' power. So if they can absorb the Ravens' powers, Team of Destiny,

Speaker 1 hardest path to the Super Bowl ever. Yeah, and they've already beaten the Chiefs.
Yep. So they could do that.
I honestly could see the Titans winning this game. Yep.
It's not impossible. Okay.

Speaker 1 Mark Ingram, he's not going to be 100%. True.
Big Trust.

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson. People forget his playoff performance last year.
What is Big Trust, by the way? I've been too scared to ask. Trust? No, Big Trust.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but what it means is it trusts big trust. I don't know.
Anyone know? Lamar Jackson, I don't think it's something from his hometown.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things that just sounds cool, so I'm going to say it. What is big trust? Without knowing at all what it means.
What is big trust? I'm going to Google it right now.

Speaker 1 What does this big truss mean? Oh, it's, oh, maybe no one really knows because it says Ravens fans have their theory. Interesting.
So we might know. How the catchphrase for the Ravens took off.

Speaker 1 Let's see. This is electric.

Speaker 1 Both are from South Florida. Their connection in the field obviously translates to them speaking the same language.
Talking about Lamar Jackson and Hollywood Brown.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it started in Lamar Jackson's hometown,

Speaker 1 Big Trust. They don't know.
It's just a little trust. It's a South Florida thing that Lamar Jackson and Hollywood Brown say, and then the team has a double.
This is, yeah, it says big trust.

Speaker 1 It's like a family. You all trust each other.
You're fighting for each other. It's big trust.
He said, it's just a little something we have going. I can't expand on it, but we know it's love.
Wait.

Speaker 1 Big love, something along those lines, said Ingram with a chuckle. So we got big trust.
So big trust. We're big trust.
PMT is big trust. We are big trust podcasts.
All the AWLs, big trust.

Speaker 1 What if trust just meant dick? Can we just start saying that, though? Can we just seal that? Be like, hey, hey, big trust. Hey, if you see an AWL out on the street, just say big trust.

Speaker 1 We can, yeah, we're all swaggering. We're fighting for each other.
Tighten up. Let's do that.
Tighten up? Yeah. Did you just go horns up? Hands up.

Speaker 1 Are you going to take the money line? Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 You are one

Speaker 1 crazy motherfucker. Bust down.
Big trust. Titanana.
Oh, bust down. Wait, bust.
No. Bust down Tatiana is a song.
Bust it down.

Speaker 1 But bust up. Bust down.
Busting with the boys. Vray Blana.

Speaker 1 All right. Texans, Kansas City.

Speaker 1 Casey's minus 10. Over-under's 51.

Speaker 1 By the way, I'm so in my own head about all the unders hitting last week. Like, I almost want to just take all the unders again.

Speaker 1 I got Kansas City. That's crazy.
I got Kansas City. I think they're going to blow them out.
Yeah. I think Houston,

Speaker 1 they reveal themselves to be frauds. Well, that game against Buffalo, I mean, Deshaun Watson was electric, but Buffalo had that game.

Speaker 1 Buffalo lost lost that game more than the other way around. So, yeah, I'd agree with you here.
I think the Chiefs are going to win this game.

Speaker 1 Kansas City's pass rush isn't good enough to have two players hit Deshaun Watson at the same time and keep him upright.

Speaker 1 So, they'll have maximum one player hitting him really hard and talking him over. Yes, all right.
And then, last game of the weekend, and again, we're going to do all this with Warren Sharp.

Speaker 1 I've dubbed it the Fraud Bull, Seahawks, Packers, Packers, minus five, Overuners, 47. Both these teams,

Speaker 1 I don't know how they're where where they're at.

Speaker 1 Win ugly. Win ugly.

Speaker 1 The Seahawks had to go all the way from Philly to Seattle to Green Bay. That's a lot of travel.
They didn't stay out on the East Coast. They did not.
They should have. That's a lot of travel.

Speaker 1 They should have gone to Buffalo, got used to the cold. It's going to be very cold in Green Bay.
Yep.

Speaker 1 I am fully prepared for this game to be a game where the Seahawks have the game, they're able to win it.

Speaker 1 And like Russell Wilson, who I trust more than any quarterback in the league in the fourth quarter, betrays my trust and throws like a backbreaking interception when he hasn't thrown any of those and the Packers win.

Speaker 1 To me, this feels like one of those games that the Seahawks have won every single year in the playoffs, it feels like, where they have a tight end, an unheralded tight end that somehow catches two touchdown passes and like 75 yards.

Speaker 1 So in the past, it's been Will Disley has been that guy. It's been our guy Wilson.
He's done it.

Speaker 1 This could be like a Hollister game where he has like two touchdowns, shitload of yards, eats up the clock. They don't guard him.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'm worried about is I don't think Russell Wilson can play in the cold. Really? I don't think he's a cold guy.
Played at Wisconsin. At Wisconsin, but he's an NC State guy.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, his record, if you look at his record and his stats in the cold, he's not good.
Not his record in his stats in the cold. He gets spooked.
I was looking at him earlier.

Speaker 1 I don't have him in front of me, but he's actually, he's not very good in cold weather games. Okay.
He likes the rain. Yes, yeah.
Loves the rain.

Speaker 1 But yeah, this is going to be, it's going to be chilly. Rodgers is old, though.
Rodgers is old, he's broke, so he actually has more incentive to keep winning. Yeah, get those.

Speaker 1 Keep the lights on, yeah. If he doesn't win, then he's probably gonna have to like sell his gas rings or something.

Speaker 1 I'm ready for the Packers to win this in an improbable, stupid way that just continues my anger, and then they're gonna be one win away from the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And just, I'm gonna, if the Packers make the Super Bowl, they're not. I might, you might see me at the South Beach.
Like, we'll be standing there, maybe sitting out on a, on a bar patio or something.

Speaker 1 I'll just stand up and start walking. You'd be like, Where are you going? And I just keep walking in the Atlantic Ocean, just keep walking till I die.

Speaker 1 Packers fans at the Super Bowl in Miami would be so fun, though. They'd be like out in their camo shorts.
I hope you all get sunburned. Their real tree swimsuits,

Speaker 1 just like getting drunk the entire week. They would have a good time.
Yeah, a lot of cankles.

Speaker 1 That's what I love so much about the crowd shots at Packers home games this time of year. They're not wearing green and yellow.
They're not wearing team colors. It's all just camo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or the orange. All Carhartt are camo.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. It looks like they do their pregame shopping at like a bass pro shops or Cabella.
Okay, so I'm picking my money line parlay.

Speaker 1 I'm literally just, that's my favorite bet. My can't lose parlay.
And then I kind of like the Seahawks and the under. Okay.
That's it. I took the over in that game.

Speaker 1 I took, let's see, I took the Chiefs. I took the Niners.

Speaker 1 And again, I'm worried because it's not Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 And Hank was giving me shit earlier this week because I did dun chain them coming off a win off a win in week two or whatever it is and Hank was just tossing out suggestions for a punishment um it's this is no Texans pinky situation that we're getting into here no it should the same contest it's different it's different it was very cavalier yeah but it was cavalier how he did it what I will say we were should matter we were tossing they should matter Hank we were tossing out ideas for a punishment and what was the one you came up with like where bikes how about you can never grill a steak directly on the grill again in your life?

Speaker 1 Can't do it.

Speaker 1 I will not agree to that one. I was thinking maybe

Speaker 1 dip a whole tin of skull. Ooh,

Speaker 1 no, no, no, no. No, that's not.
That's not

Speaker 1 punishment? That's not bad. Fuck.
He's going to be like, this is awesome. Yeah, you have to do it around the world, though.
Yeah, you better bring a two-liter mountain

Speaker 1 for me to spit all that stuff. How about you have to go, because Kirk Cousins is a God-fearing man.
How about you have to go to church every single Sunday for a year?

Speaker 1 That's what I suggested to Hank as my punishment.

Speaker 1 You should have to do that. I didn't bring that up because I didn't want to do it.
Yes, that's what you should have have to do. I should start going back to church.

Speaker 1 Every single Sunday for an entire year. If they win the Super Bowl.
If they win the Super Bowl. Okay, would you rather that or

Speaker 1 every time you go to church, you have to have a whole tinnisko in your mouth. Or I'm not allowed to wear shorts this summer.
I like that one. That was the other one that we had suggested.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I said PFT should have to wear, whenever you wear shorts, it has to be biker shorts. Like the spandex.
Yeah, I like that better. Better than going to church? No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 I'd rather go to church.

Speaker 1 Because that way,

Speaker 1 there's like a 10% chance that I go to heaven when I die. See, the problem with you not having to wear shorts this summer, that's a punishment for us.
You'll be miserable. You're a shorts guy.
True.

Speaker 1 Like, you would be so unhappy. Yeah, and you wouldn't get to see these sweet legs.
Yeah. You're a shorts guy, so I don't want to do that.
That's a bad bet for everyone else.

Speaker 1 All right, so biker shorts. Church.
Biker shorts all summer.

Speaker 1 We'll do a sound off in the comments. We'll sound off in the comments.
Church every single Sunday

Speaker 1 the year are biker shorts. Sound off in the iTunes review page.
Yes. Yes.
That's actually the only votes we'll use. You have to subscribe and unsubscribe and then rate and review.
Five stars.

Speaker 1 All right. Remember, Bet MGM is the home for PMT this football season.
If you're a new user, sign up with bonus code PMT.

Speaker 1 Place your first bet on the Ravens and you'll get $1 for every rushing yard by Lamar Jackson all. postseason long.

Speaker 1 Okay, so now we have Warren Sharp, who gets into the actual smart analysis of these games.

Speaker 1 And then after Warren Sharp, we have Paul Rabel, which was very, very funny because we basically just work on it. It's really an interview.
Oh, it's not an interview at all.

Speaker 1 It's essentially us just trying to figure out illegal ways to make a lot of money off of our PLL ownership. And they are very illegal, some of them.
But we're going to.

Speaker 1 We don't want to use the I-word. They're

Speaker 1 immortal. It's unclear.
Oh. Legally nebulous.
Gray area. Yes.

Speaker 1 It's a fledgling league. Yes.
So who knows?

Speaker 1 There's there's no precedent set That's what it is That's right, so we are establishing legal precedent with our ownership correct We're like one of the original NFL owners right squatters rights.

Speaker 1 Yep, what's up guys? It's big cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, here he is, Warren Sharp.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest friend of the program, Warren Sharp. You can find him online.
You can find him on Twitter. Warren Sharp, Sharp Football.
So we got the division round.

Speaker 1 Wild card round was crazy. Any shockers from the wild card round before we go to this Sunday, Saturday and Sundays games?

Speaker 4 I was shocked by some of the decision-making and the play calling from Sean Payton in that game for the Saints.

Speaker 4 I mean, I know you guys talked about it, but the lack of timeout, integrity, I think we could call it, for the end of the first half end of the full game preventing him from being able to win that game late forcing needing to force just overtime instead of winning the game outright

Speaker 4 but then just from a like a play pure play calling perspective because coaches in the postseason need to be able to make a make a checkmate like as soon as possible like we know that Mike Zimmer threw like an immediate change of plans when he started rushing from the interior.

Speaker 4 And that is the one spot that Drew Brees struggles to handle. And immediately he started rotating his defensive ends in and doing stunts and coming from the inside.

Speaker 4 And that was giving me major problems. But yet for the entirety of the first half, they only threw one pass from non-11 personnel.
And if you're watching that game, you're looking at Drew Brees.

Speaker 4 He's sitting back there. There's no tight ends helping pass protect.
There's no running backs coming up to help pass protect. It's just they're running their guys.

Speaker 4 They're three wide receivers and a tight end and Kamara typically out on routes. And Drew Brees has to hold up behind the five offensive linemen, and they were just getting beaten over and over again.

Speaker 4 Finally, in the second half, he made an adjustment, and their pass game got much more efficient.

Speaker 4 But you know, they waited, wasted the whole first half throwing, and I think they had like a 30% success rate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was shocking. That was shocking.
That was your biggest surprise of the weekend: the Vikings being able to take out the Saints?

Speaker 4 I think it was one of them, yeah, probably for me.

Speaker 1 Did you see the Patriots game coming?

Speaker 4 Um,

Speaker 4 what I didn't realize is that the Patriots would look as good as they did, at least fine, in the first half, and then go nowhere in the second half.

Speaker 4 I thought that game was going to be more competitive throughout. I thought the Patriots' offense was going to look a little bit better in that second half.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, that would definitely be another big surprise for me.

Speaker 1 Where do you stand on the Rust versus Rust debate? So, you've got the Ravens that, you know, they start with bye-week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the Ravens and the Titans, you've got one team that just played a very physical game in New England. Tractor Cito Derrick Henry is untackable.

Speaker 1 Basically, he had, what, 70% of the offense for the Titans? And then you've got the Ravens that kind of, you know, they essentially had this thing locked up several weeks ago, about a month ago.

Speaker 1 So they've kind of been able to take their foot off the gas. They had an entire week off.
Where do you stand?

Speaker 1 Is it incredibly beneficial to have that extra week, or is it good to stay in a rhythm?

Speaker 4 I can go either way on it

Speaker 4 for this perspective.

Speaker 4 But the one thing about the Ravens that I think is really intriguing is remember how good they were on their opening drives in their second drive and their third drive like this was a team that very consistently week in and week out get the ball march down the field touchdown up seven nothing get the ball again march down the field touchdown get the ball up you stopped us fourth forced a fourth and two at our own 32 well we're going to go for it anyways and we're going to try to score another touchdown like team no punt in the first half we're going to try to be aggressive and build that halftime lead what does happen when you get a little bit out of that rhythm because i think it's more important for a team like that to stay a little bit more in rhythm the interesting thing for them though where the rest would benefit is player health and getting guys back but mark ingram unless he practiced today i still have not seen him practice at all ever since he injured his leg and that would be like running backs are fairly replaceable i think that you would be able to replace him he's not like a colossal loss to this offense they've got so many moving parts and they got other guys that can come right in there but from uh like

Speaker 4 just

Speaker 4 aggressiveness, like he, he's got the swagger about him that you'd rather have out there and rather have participating. But, you know, you may not have him even though you had the rest.

Speaker 1 So how do you see that game going? Because the rest for the Ravens, in my mind, like the Titans' formula, it seems, has always been get a lead and keep running the ball and play from ahead.

Speaker 1 Where they, you know, they've been in games where they've been behind and it's hard for them to come back.

Speaker 1 Do you think that they'll have a chance to jump on the Ravens, maybe coming out a little bit slow in the first half after not playing their starters for three weeks now?

Speaker 4 It is possible. I think the cool thing about this game is you have two teams that have really embraced some non-traditional ways to increase efficiency, and that's with motions.

Speaker 4 So pre-snap motion is motion before the ball snap. You're sending a guy in motion at the line or he's just moving around.

Speaker 4 So the quarterback can kind of get a feel for what that defense might be doing, what coverage they're in, and what style they're playing.

Speaker 4 Then you've got the post-snap motion, which occurs after the snap, and that's through the form of play-action. Both of these teams are top five in both pre-snap and play action usage.

Speaker 4 So they both are very dependent upon having a lot of moving parts and trying to get a take for what that defense might be doing.

Speaker 4 It'll be very important for the Titans to keep that game close.

Speaker 4 They cannot afford, with the style of their play falling behind, I don't think that the Baltimore, with their secondary, as good as they are, they've got the horses in the secondary where they want to get the lead and they want you to play from behind because you'll be throwing into the teeth of their defense, which is the secondary.

Speaker 4 They're worse stopping the run.

Speaker 4 And if Derrick Henry is in a game situation where they're not down by more than 10 points, they're going to still be able to run Derrick Henry and beat on that defense a little bit.

Speaker 4 But I think it'll be very fascinating if Baltimore has success offensively because Tennessee's defense is worse than we think. I think their secondary is worse than what we think.

Speaker 4 And I think that they can be beaten up. Forget about Mike Vrabel's edge over Tom Brady and Bill Belichick last week.
Former coordinators have had done very well against Bill Belichick's offense.

Speaker 4 But forget that because that doesn't help him this week.

Speaker 4 He's on a Saturday game. They played last Saturday.
He doesn't have extra rest or any edge to prepare for Baltimore. They already lost 21-0 to this Baltimore team just last season.

Speaker 4 That was with Joe Flacco and no run game. And Tennessee went like one of 10 on third downs.

Speaker 1 But it was also Mariota.

Speaker 4 It was Marcus Mariota. And Joe Flacco was the quarterback.
And Baltimore went like, I want to say like 12 of 15 on third downs.

Speaker 4 They were very inefficient offensively, but they just kept converting these third downs.

Speaker 4 I'm worried about...

Speaker 4 Baltimore taking overtime of possession and then Tennessee gets the ball back and they're down on the scoreboard and they're like, can we afford to run Derrick Henry and get a yard or two here?

Speaker 1 Right, yeah, right. Okay, do you think this could be the fastest NFL playoff game ever played? Yeah,

Speaker 4 you're right. Clock ticking with a lot of the runs.

Speaker 4 And the interesting thing, you guys need to talk to a meteorologist or something because checking the local forecasts here is very important with all these outdoor games.

Speaker 4 Usually, there's a dome team playing now, but we're mid-January and we've got all four home games are with outdoor teams, most of them in like the Midwest area.

Speaker 4 And this game in Baltimore, the wind speed is supposed to be about 10 to 12 miles per hour during the game. Nothing to worry about.
However, somehow the gusts are 30 to 34 miles per hour.

Speaker 4 Now, it's rare that you see sustained winds 10 to 12 and gusts up in the 30s.

Speaker 4 My question that I truthfully am going to plead in ignorance because I don't know is when they're measuring the gusts, how often does that gust have to happen?

Speaker 4 Because you know, you could walk out here, you could get a strong gust. That could happen several times in a minute, or it could happen once in a while.

Speaker 1 So what's the formula that goes in? Is it

Speaker 1 a gust three times in 10 seconds? Is that a sustained win?

Speaker 4 That's what we need to figure out because I sure as hell don't know

Speaker 1 if you're lying. Okay, so the other game on Saturday, the Vikings and the 49ers.

Speaker 1 This can't. Come on.
The Vikings, come on. Kirk Cousins, come on.
Still hasn't won in prime time.

Speaker 1 What does your XL sheet say for the come on? You know, like, I'm sure you got all your numbers, and then there's one

Speaker 1 table at the end that just says, come on, seriously? And it's like, Kirk Cousins, no.

Speaker 4 Well, I think in this game, the interesting part, we have a similar situation last week in the last game we just discussed, where you had a defense that really did well against their opponent last week.

Speaker 4 In the other case, it was Mike Varabel's defense. In this case, it's Mike Zimmer's defense.
And Mike Zimmer just has a thing for being able to play well against Drew Brees and Sean Payton.

Speaker 4 And we talked about Sean Payton did some things that weren't really optimal, and that helped Mike Verabel.

Speaker 4 But here, now Mike has got to go up against Kyle Shanahan and this offense that has way more rep weaponry to attack down the field and try to, it looks like they're going to be with Minnesota's still going to be without two guys in the secondary, two key guys in the secondary.

Speaker 4 You're going to have opportunities to throw the ball down the field. But I'm going to go to the run game first and foremost because here's a really interesting stat.

Speaker 4 What we talked earlier this season about personnel groupings. So Minnesota Vikings defense against 21 personnel runs.
That's two tights.

Speaker 1 Two running backs, one tight end.

Speaker 4 And so that's basically our boy Kyle Yuszchek, right? Tremendous guy.

Speaker 4 So Minnesota is actually the worst defense in the NFL against 21 personnel runs.

Speaker 1 That's a nice nugget warmer.

Speaker 4 They allow 6.7 yards per carry and a 74% success rate. The league average is 4.4 yards per carry and a 48% success rate.
So much worse than league average.

Speaker 4 And looking at it on a per-game basis, it's not as if they played like two teams that really use this a lot and those teams beat up on them, but most other other teams didn't.

Speaker 4 Like every single team, on average, they only run about 11% from 21. Some teams don't use it all, but most teams are very close to that.

Speaker 4 And there's like three runs here, five runs there, six runs there, four runs. And all of these runs are being consistently effective against Zimmer's defense.

Speaker 4 And guess who runs the most in the entire NFL, 21? Kyle Shanahan and the 49ers. They run it at a 31% clip.
I just said the league average is 11%.

Speaker 4 So that's going going to be a fascinating matchup.

Speaker 4 And then the other thing that I think, if we're talking about come on, Kirk, not talking about him directly, but just his team, areas where Sean Payton didn't utilize enough.

Speaker 4 New Orleans was very good passing the football on first down and from heavier sets. In that game, on first down passes, 11.1 yards per attempt against the Vikings and a 78% success rate.

Speaker 4 On second down, it got much worse. And then on third down, they only averaged 2.1 yards per attempt and a 25% success rate.

Speaker 4 So we need Kyle Shanahan to stay aggressive early and throw the ball a little bit, be very balanced. And he's like that.
That's the way he is.

Speaker 1 The one thing that I thought the Saints kind of made a mistake is it felt like they blitzed too much Kirk Cousins, and he actually did well against it. Whereas the 49ers don't have to, right?

Speaker 4 Exactly. Great point.
The 49ers are one of the best teams at getting pressure without blitzing in the entire NFL.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And I saw someone, I can't remember, someone a tweet or something that like green, if you went back to the Green Bay game where Green Bay, Minnesota played Monday night football, last Monday football game of the year, the Packers blitzed once.

Speaker 1 Yes. And they've made Kirk Cousins look stupid.
And then you look on last week, Kirk Cousins looks great.

Speaker 1 The Saints blitzed too much, whereas now the Rams can go back to what the Packers did and just not blitz. Right.

Speaker 4 And I feel like in this game, the key element here is that... I don't think that San Francisco has to change that much of their general philosophy of what they do to have success.

Speaker 4 Using the heavier and diverse personnel grouping packages, throwing the ball a little bit onto the into that secondary with some of these mismatches that they're going to scheme up.

Speaker 4 Like, for example, I did not think that Sean Payton schemed enough Xavier Rhodes.

Speaker 4 He got burned on that one deep pass where the guy caught it and got tackled like the five-yard line, but you weren't seeing him intentionally scheme up that. Anthony Barr wasn't schemed up at all.

Speaker 4 I mean, Sean McVay came out and destroyed Anthony Barr on prime time in the 2018 season, just kept abusing him.

Speaker 4 That's exactly the type of thing that Kyle Shanahan probably could come out and be like, we're going to destroy Xavier Rhodes and Barr, Anthony Barr, and we're just going to roll.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that. Yeah, so what about with Kirk Cousins and the offense? Because it seems like the Vikings have kind of found,

Speaker 1 they hit a stride earlier in the season when he remembered that he had a tight end, when he remembered he was allowed to throw touchdown passes to Kyle Rudolph. What happened at that point?

Speaker 1 Is that something from a scheme standpoint where they said, okay, we're going to start sending Rudolph out on routes more often?

Speaker 1 Or was it just Kirk Cousins being like, oh, yeah, I can throw it to him?

Speaker 4 I think it was out of necessity because Adam Thielen was just dealing with so many injuries down the stretch. Like, he did not play very much at all.

Speaker 4 I'm very concerned because he tweaked his ankle in practice yesterday, and then he just participated as a limited.

Speaker 1 I read about that, though. He got stepped on or something.
So it's a cut. He had stitches.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's a cut.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, it's not like a broken or it's not like a ligament.

Speaker 4 Okay, so it's just a surface wound.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I assume. Nothing but a sound.
Just a scratch.

Speaker 1 All right. So what about Sunday, the Trubisky Bowl, Mahomes versus Watson?

Speaker 1 That's your joke. What do you want to say?

Speaker 4 I got no joke for that.

Speaker 1 I gave you a look.

Speaker 4 I gave you a look because I got something really cool to talk about for this game.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm so excited.

Speaker 4 I think this is going to just blow your mind.

Speaker 1 It's so like, it's so

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 I think we all remember the game with the Indianapolis Colts when they went into Arrowhead on primetime TV. Hank had Moneyline.

Speaker 1 Hank had

Speaker 4 money line. Okay, so Hank, I don't know if you factored this into your handicapping.

Speaker 1 No, I did. I literally let him have a money line.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I already know what you're going to say. Yes.

Speaker 4 Okay, you know what I'm going to say? I'm going to tell you that they switched from like 84%

Speaker 4 zone coverage to this game. They ran a ton of man coverage, and they had a lot of success and really shut down Patrick Mahomes' offense.

Speaker 4 Now, of course, they ran the ball, but how do you slow down Patrick Mahomes? Well, you used man coverage. Exactly.

Speaker 4 But a lot of people are referring to that now now as like the blueprint game that then the Texans went the next week.

Speaker 4 But guess what?

Speaker 4 That's shorting Matt Patricia because the week before that, Matt Patricia, his defense, the Detroit Lions, run the most man coverage in the entire NFL.

Speaker 4 And Matt Patricia in the prior game ran 83% man coverage.

Speaker 4 And on those man coverage, he reduced the success rate of Patrick Mahomes from 71% down to 45%, reduced his yards per attempt from 9% down to 7.4%.

Speaker 4 So Indianapolis, they're very good with analytics. Their guys saw that and they duplicated.
They were a team, like I said, they played like 85%.

Speaker 1 Who? Indianapolis' guys or you?

Speaker 1 Indianapolis. Indianapolis' guys.

Speaker 4 They looked at this and they said, we're going to duplicate that. Even though we go, Matt Eberflu said, even though we were all zone pretty much, we're going to go, man.
They manned them up.

Speaker 4 Guess what they did? When they manned him up, 22% success rate. When they played zone, 86%.

Speaker 4 When they manned him up, 4.7 yards per attempt. When they went zone, 16.1.
So then Bill O'Brien sees it done two straight games. Detroit has success with Matt Patricia.

Speaker 4 Matt Eberflus has success with the Indianapolis Colts. He goes a ton of man.
He was a zone guy, like up over 75% on the season prior to that.

Speaker 4 He played every single passing snap except for one in-man coverage and limited what Patrick Mahomes was able to do through the air in that game. Now, there are some rink, so that's the first thing.

Speaker 4 And then the second question is, what are they going to do this game? Now, I think that although they primarily play zone, they're going to go with what worked the last game.

Speaker 4 They're going to play a ton of man.

Speaker 4 Here's the advice that I have for Andy Reid that I think that we should end up seeing. Okay.

Speaker 1 Free advice? This is absolutely free.

Speaker 4 Get it on barstool right now.

Speaker 1 Now, this is where Warren, though, like maybe he's giving advice, but he's giving the opposite advice to the actual easy reason.

Speaker 1 You're being paid by the Texans to come on this show and give fake advice.

Speaker 1 No, he's being paid by the Chiefs to come on this show and say, here's the advice, but he's really giving them the real advice. So the Texans are listening to this being like, false flags.

Speaker 1 So say what you're going to say. And just

Speaker 4 once I say this, what we should do. Okay.
So Patrick Mahomes, on the entire season, looking at everybody.

Speaker 4 everybody he's played, whether they've played man or zone, when he throws the ball a shorter pass within 15 yards of the line of scrimmage, he is great whether you're playing man or zone.

Speaker 4 He's really good throwing the ball on these short passes.

Speaker 4 He's got nearly, he's got actually a little bit better versus man, 8.6 yards per attempt versus 7.6 and a 10% better success rate throwing versus man.

Speaker 4 But when he goes deeper above 15 yards, passing it down the field more, when he throws those types of passes against man,

Speaker 4 28% success rate, 8.3 yards per attempt, one touchdown, one interception, a 60 passer rating. When he throws deeper passes against zone, look at how these numbers go.

Speaker 4 28% success goes up to 66% success. 8.3 yards per attempt goes up to 19.9.

Speaker 4 His one-to-one touchdown and interception ratio goes eight touchdowns, only one interception, and his pass rating goes from 60 to 140.

Speaker 1 So they're getting dinks now coming together. That's interesting because that's almost counterintuitive when you think about the Chiefs' wide receivers that they have.
They're all speedsters.

Speaker 1 They can all run passes.

Speaker 1 You would think that going man-to-man, you can hit hit somebody deep because they can outrun their cornerback, but it sounds like they give them a deep enough cushion and respect those long routes, and it's easier to find them underneath and then let them run around the safeties.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 4 The yards after the catch is exactly what they need to emphasize in this game.

Speaker 4 Stay on the field, keep an efficient offense, make Deshaun Watson and those guys think that when they get the ball because they're losing and they're down and the Chiefs are having these nice drives that we don't have much time with the ball here.

Speaker 4 We're going to to have to go crazy fast. We're going to have to make sure everything counts and make those guys make a mistake.
But don't you go in there and try to force something down the field.

Speaker 4 Try to design more routes that are open underneath. And I think they'll be able to do that if the Houston Texans decide to go crazy with the man coverage.

Speaker 1 So actually, that win could be chalked up to the Patriots because it was Matt Patricia who came up with that wrinkle. And then O'Brien copied that.

Speaker 1 We always like to tie things back to the pat so that Hank can absorb it and take credit for that. Yeah, definitely.
In the NFC, I have a question about the Green Bay game. The fraud bowl.

Speaker 1 The fraud bowl.

Speaker 1 Is there a way, as a computer folk yourself, is there a way that you can quantify whether or not a team is good at winning ugly?

Speaker 4 Good at winning ugly. Well, I think you would actually have to look at the factors that you might value for a team that is winning ugly.

Speaker 4 And that is, can they do well minimizing the explosive rushing of other teams?

Speaker 4 If you, the explosive game, explosive passes, explosive runs, those have to be eliminated for it to be an ugly game, right? It has to be played in the trenches.

Speaker 4 It has to be a close tight close, red zone defense, turnover, stuff like that.

Speaker 4 So you would want to look at teams that are good at doing that and good at preventing those explosive plays, and then you're probably going to have a higher rate of ugly games.

Speaker 1 But these two teams stick.

Speaker 4 They both are not as good as their record indicates.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely correct.

Speaker 1 Finally. That's what you're saying.
Finally.

Speaker 1 Well, so, I mean, if you're talking about limiting explosive plays in the running game, I don't think that the Seahawks have a player that can run for 30 yards without stopping for breath.

Speaker 1 They've limited themselves. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So

Speaker 1 that would favor my Green Bay Packers then.

Speaker 4 I do think that Green Bay is definitely going to have the edge on the ground. Now, I will tell you that if you're Seattle, you're looking at this game and you see the Green Bay Packers,

Speaker 4 look at the games, I'll just tell you that Seattle has played in terms of run defenses down the stretch.

Speaker 4 Out of their last like nine games, they've played eight of those nine games against top 12 run defenses. They played the most difficult schedule of run defenses in the NFL.

Speaker 4 The last three, well, they ended with the Philadelphia Eagles, who are the fourth best team, but they've just played a brutal schedule of run defenses.

Speaker 4 The only one that they played who was not good was the Carolina Panthers. They were the worst in the NFL, and Chris Carson ran all over those guys, ran roughshot.

Speaker 4 The problem now is, though, number one, Green Bay stinks defending the run. They're 23rd in the NFL defending the run, and they're better defending the pass.

Speaker 4 So Seattle might think, oh, we're a conservative team. Let's just run the ball on these guys.
But how many carries do you want to give Marshawn Lynch? Not that many, I don't think.

Speaker 4 And Travis Homer is not that bell cow guy in the backfield to take a lot of those. What I think you need to do is find other ways to have success

Speaker 4 against the Green Bay Packers. And the first thing I'm going to look at is...
Do I respect their pass defense as much as the metrics indicate? And I'll go through here.

Speaker 4 Look at these quarterbacks that they have played over the last

Speaker 1 week seven.

Speaker 1 This is very fun to go through.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 Derek Carr is week seven. I'll tell you his stats in a moment.

Speaker 1 That's the game where he fumbled going into the game. Oh, my God, yes.

Speaker 4 Over the pylon, flipped the game. Green Bay scored a touchdown immediately before the half, got the ball, scored another touchdown.
It was a disaster.

Speaker 4 So I'm going to tell you his stats in that game in a second. Week eight, Matt Moore, backup for the Chiefs.
Week nine, Phillip Rivers. Tell you his stats in a minute.

Speaker 4 Week 10, rookie Kyle Allen, first rookie of the board for the Carolina Panthers. Then you play Jimmy G, a good starting quarterback.
I'll tell you his stats.

Speaker 4 So there's three guys I'm going to hold off and tell you their stats. Then you go Daniel Jones, rookie.
Dwayne Haskins, rookie. Mitchell Trubisky, rookie.

Speaker 1 He didn't play a lot in college. He's a young third.
He's football young, rookie.

Speaker 4 Kirk Cousins, but in primetime. That's different.

Speaker 1 That's a rookie. Sam Moore.

Speaker 4 And David Blau, rookie, to close the season. You're talking about four rookies in the last, well, in the last seven games, plus Mitchell Trubisky thrown in there.

Speaker 1 Kirk Cousins passed his bedtime, too. So yeah, that's a good one.
Passes bedtime. Now the

Speaker 4 legit starting quarterbacks, say what you want about Derek Carr, but the guys who are capable starting quarterbacks, Derek Carr, 10.5 yards per attempt, 68% success, a 119 rating.

Speaker 4 Phillip Rivers, 9.8 yards per attempt, 60% success, a 108 rating. And Jimmy G, 11 yards per attempt, 52% success, success, and a 146 rating.

Speaker 4 Those three guys thrashed this secondary of the Green Bay Packers, and the rest of the time they're playing crappy rookies or Mitch Trubisky or a guy who's passes bedtime.

Speaker 4 So the question becomes, what are you going to do when you face Russell Wilson? I know their concern is, how is our O-line going to pass protect against

Speaker 4 the brothers on the other side of the football coming up with this pass rush? Because it is a very scary pass rush, I think, for Brian Schottenheimer to look at.

Speaker 4 However, I will say this interesting tidbit to you.

Speaker 4 When Seattle uses play action,

Speaker 4 when teams use play action against Green Bay, those teams have not been sacked. But when they don't use play action, here are the numbers.

Speaker 4 This is pretty crazy. When you don't use play action, 38% success, 5.2 yards per attempt, and a 10% sack rate.

Speaker 4 But when you do use it in the first half, 60% success rate, 9.7 yards per attempt, and no sacks.

Speaker 1 So they're awful at defending against play action,

Speaker 1 but they're good when you don't fake it. So they're really dumb.

Speaker 1 They're like a dog when you throw a ball and you put it behind your back. That's basically what the Green Bay Packers defense is.

Speaker 4 Exactly. They're susceptible to that and pre-snap motion as well.

Speaker 1 Would you say that Green Bay's best opportunity to win this game is if Pete Carroll reverts back and to establish the run Pete Carroll?

Speaker 1 Like, he might psych himself into thinking, oh, it's 20 degrees outside. This is playoff football.
Let's give the ball to my running back. You know, let's run the ball 35 times.

Speaker 1 Like, that is the best opportunity for the Packers defense, at least, to win this game.

Speaker 4 I think anytime that you're taking the ball out of Russ's hands in a game like this, and you're handing it to Marshawn Lynch, who is out on the streets a few weeks ago, and Travis Homer, who similarly wasn't doing anything, that is advantage to the defense, even if that run defense is not as good as the pass defense.

Speaker 4 I want this ball in Russ's hands as often as possible, and I want to figure out how I'm going to design this passing offense to optimize success against what is Green Bay weak at defending.

Speaker 4 So, yes, I think that if they get super conservative, that is going to be a problem because I don't think that their 2019 slash 2020 defense is good enough to sustain them being just like mediocre offensively.

Speaker 4 We saw the game against the Philadelphia Eagles where Josh McCown is driving up and down the field late, and he keeps not converting these fourth downs.

Speaker 4 But if you convert that, and I mean, that game could have been a tie game, right?

Speaker 1 One score game. Russell Wilson's going to convert those.
Yeah. At least a couple of them.

Speaker 4 Well, Aaron Rodgers is going to convert those against the Seahawks defense. And that's a big problem.
You cannot be as conservative. You can't play the scoreboard in this game.

Speaker 4 Your defense is not good enough. If you're Seattle and you're lucky enough to have a lead, which let me tell you how important having a lead is at halftime.

Speaker 4 Okay, that's one of the things we talked about earlier and preached about having a lead.

Speaker 4 Here's a crazy statistic for you: Aaron Rodgers in Lambeau's career is 62, 1, and 1 when he has a lead at halftime of any size, of any size.

Speaker 4 Russell Wilson, when he has a lead at halftime of any size, no matter where he's playing, is 65 and 7.

Speaker 4 Okay, both of these guys are outstanding at managing second halfs of games, not throwing interceptions, not doing dumb things to cause them to blow a lead.

Speaker 4 So if Seattle is fortunate enough to get that lead a halftime, you absolutely cannot just go into a turtled-up shell.

Speaker 1 Right. Okay.
So what was, give us your,

Speaker 1 I'm sure you'll have some gambling picks, right? Yeah. At your website.

Speaker 1 But if you have one game that you're leaning, like if you could, if you could put your reputation, well, not reputation, that's mean. Your life on the line.

Speaker 4 Ooh, life on the line.

Speaker 1 No, i got a gun i'm gonna shoot you in the head if you get this wrong wow because i really need a bailout yeah i would i would not recommend um offering a pick in that selection okay well i'm just i'm gonna shoot big cat if you don't give him a pick tell some of you all right so it's a hostage situation yeah i've got a gun to his head he's got a gun to your head you don't care if i die big cat dies if you don't say yeah one game if it's a hostage situation i will give you this but definitely don't pull the trigger okay but just like lean

Speaker 1 if you keep I won't stall.

Speaker 4 I think that Kansas City, Houston, over 24 in the first half is an interesting wage.

Speaker 1 Done. Got it.
Done. Noted.
Done. Reputation on the line.
I said, interesting.

Speaker 1 If you get this wrong, you are a hack.

Speaker 1 I like that, though. I like that.
Okay. So

Speaker 1 all four unders last week, that's what I'm thinking. Like, all four overs have to hit.

Speaker 4 Well, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 You're a computer guy. You should know that.
Yeah, I mean, that's just basic numbers.

Speaker 4 Yeah, regression to me. Yeah.
No,

Speaker 4 I think that this week is going to be great for watching these games. Like, I can't wait to watch these guys go up against each other.

Speaker 4 For betting on them, it's a little bit trickier because you got a couple inflated lines.

Speaker 4 You got totals that actually are moving a little bit down on Saturday.

Speaker 4 Those totals, the professional money has definitely come in on the unders on Saturday and a little bit towards the overs on Sunday.

Speaker 4 I don't know that I agree with the over in the Seattle Green Bay game

Speaker 4 because I think that with the weather there is supposed to be really cold.

Speaker 4 Now that doesn't mean a game's going to go under, but what I think we need to realize is that we also need to handicap coaches and what types of decisions they make.

Speaker 4 Cold weather, unless it's like zero degrees or something even lower than that, that's when the football gets hard as rock and it might be a little bit harder to kick.

Speaker 4 It also is harder to catch because think about it.

Speaker 4 Your hands, if you're not wearing gloves, your hands have a little bit of moisture. It's a leather football that has the moisture.
So it's easier to catch the ball when the humidity level is normal.

Speaker 4 But if it's dry as hell because it's so cold, that's when the ball just skips off of people's hands. It's harder to catch.
It's because of the lack of moisture there. So that's the only scenario.

Speaker 4 But if you have a guy like a Pete Carroll who's just like, guys, this is going to come down to a turnover. We don't want to risk it.
Let's hold on to the football. Let's play good defense.

Speaker 4 Like that type of play calling could impact the way that the game would be.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Well, I already took the over in that game, so I think I'm sure.

Speaker 4 Well, you're with the sharp money, so that's the best.

Speaker 1 so what I did was I faded my own brain. I was like, it's going to be cold.
My exact thoughts were, it's going to be cold in this game. Usually there aren't a lot of points when it's cold.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, well, that's what everyone else thinks. So I'm going to take the over.
So you're saying I was actually secretly smart.

Speaker 4 Yeah, secretly smart because people who bet the under just because it's going to be cold, as long as it's not uber cold, as long as it's just like 10 to 15 degrees cold. Okay.

Speaker 4 That does not place a bearing on whether this game goes over or not.

Speaker 1 All All right. So, my last question: Seeki question, promo code take.
You put it in, you get $10 off. Go to a playoff game this weekend.
Promo code take $10 off. The coaching carousel, the hires.

Speaker 1 Who's your favorite hire of

Speaker 1 the group of new coaches that were hired in the last week and a half? Mike McCarthy, Ron Rivera, Matt Rule, Joe Judge.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so I don't know enough about Joe Judge to have an opinion.

Speaker 4 No one does.

Speaker 4 I'm inclined to be optimistic about most coaching changes because we know in in some scenarios like it can't be that much worse than what it was right so let's think optimistically for once in our lives that something could be okay

Speaker 4 with regard to the other three guys i'm most intrigued by the matt rule hire because i want to see if what he does transitions over and we know that he's working with an owner who's just like spend spend spend on everything and he's already talked about that so that's a good thing because there's no salary cap on coaching.

Speaker 4 Get the best position coaches that you can get, the best coordinators you can get, Have the best strength and conditioning program, the best health departments and nutrition.

Speaker 4 Have whatever edge you can possibly get. Analytics people as well.

Speaker 4 Then you factor in the Mike McCarthy angle, where he's already mentioned he's building a staff and he's going to have all these different people. He also said he watched every play,

Speaker 4 and he then admitted, like live to sitting next to Jerry. Love that.
I got you, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Power move.

Speaker 4 Gotcha, Jerry. I didn't actually do that.
I told you I did, but that's a trick.

Speaker 4 But I love his sense of humor, though. That's kind of refreshing.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's you like, you like the higher because of Mike McCarthy's sense of humor.

Speaker 4 If he does, I could tell you right away that stuff he was doing in Green Bay was not very analytically sound. Right.
A lot of the stuff.

Speaker 4 So the fact that he took a year off and focused on improving that side of the ball.

Speaker 1 When the rubber meets the road, will he, that's always the thing with the older coaches.

Speaker 1 Will they be able to, and actually age doesn't really matter because some of the older coaches are the most analytically driven.

Speaker 4 But when a coach trusts their gut in like the crunch moment instead of crushing uh trusting the analytics yes it's it's very that's one of the most uh it can be one of the most frustrating things when you're devising certain things and you think they're going to give you a big edge but then the coach just doesn't think that that's appropriate applicable or useful in this particular game

Speaker 1 how come belichek keeps on saying that uh he doesn't use any analytics whatsoever do you think that he would lie to us and lie to the press

Speaker 4 yes okay yes i mean what

Speaker 4 the way I look at Belichick, if you ask him like a detailed football-related question,

Speaker 4 he sometimes comes out and blindside you and actually answers it very honestly and gives you like a super long answer that you weren't even expecting.

Speaker 4 And then some poor guy has to go and transcribe it and post it on the internet for everybody else to read.

Speaker 4 But if you're just going to ask him like a point-forward question, you know, straightforward, I mean, he's going to deny most everything possible unless there's an advantage to him.

Speaker 4 And he could easily say, I don't look at analytics, analytics, but like he's not the one. He's looking at the findings, but he's not doing the research.
Somebody else there is giving him the research.

Speaker 4 You can look at everything that they're doing.

Speaker 1 I mean, they document every play. They document every single position on every single play.
They log it. They put it into a spreadsheet, I'm assuming.

Speaker 1 He doesn't go into Excel and pull it up and run reports himself, but he's definitely looking at everybody.

Speaker 4 He's got a team of guys that are using things, including computer vision, that are like trained on the game itself and pulling nuggets off of what these players are going and where they're turning and how they're doing things that they're then incorporating into their strategy and molding their philosophies.

Speaker 4 And you can just tell by the way that they're calling plays and some of the things that they're doing that they've done studies on this stuff.

Speaker 4 And that's all in a nutshell, analytics is just researching data from history and then using it to make an intelligent decision. It's not as complicated as a lot of people make it out to be.

Speaker 1 My last question, when Dave Gettleman was talking about computer folks, what's a computer folk? What's your definition? Are you a computer folks?

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, anybody who owns a computer technically is.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. So we might have a job with the Giants.
Yeah, I like it. I'll take it.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Warren, thank you as always.
Appreciate your time. Check him out.
Warren Sharp, Sharp Football. He's got everything.

Speaker 1 Make yourself a smarter football fan. I'm excited for the Fraud Bowl on Sunday night.
And guaranteed winners from him, too. Yes, guaranteed.
Or I die.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I die. All right.
Thanks, Warren. Thanks for having me, guys.

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Speaker 1 and now for something completely different

Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on a recurring guest he's been on many times actually you're you're basically a fourth member you live here fifth member it's paul rabel uh we're here to talk about the water dogs we own a team we own a lacrosse team now you hired a coach i don't you didn't ask us.

Speaker 1 Right. Like, I don't even know who the guy is.
Who is it?

Speaker 1 Andy Copeland. I thought you guys were aware of it.
Is there any try on the contract? Is this finalized?

Speaker 1 It's finalized, but obviously, as owners for the Wild Rocks, first of all, congratulations. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. So, yeah, so

Speaker 1 you hired a coach, didn't tell us. That's fine.
I'm fine with that.

Speaker 1 My process was underway before you guys still got paperwork. Okay, all right.
Then we're fine with that.

Speaker 1 How is he like the whole thug slug thing? Does he know the difference between those two words?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay, all right.
So then we're good. We got a good coach.
The part of today is we're going to pass along his contact information to you guys. I've actually got

Speaker 1 a list of things. I don't need that.
That's a little too much. Oh, yeah, give us a list.
Perfect. That we're going to go through as owners.

Speaker 1 So part of my responsibility as player, commissioner, and owner of the league is to make sure that our ownership group is ready to rock. Okay.
I know you guys talked about it on Monday.

Speaker 1 Yes, we're ready to rock. So give us a coach.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 first is coaches. So Andy Copeland, Robert Cross, and Brendan Dawson.
Are you guys coaches? Brendan Dawson. Okay, I like that.
That's a very lacrosse name.

Speaker 1 Robert Cross. Brendan, how do you spell Brendan? B-R-Y-N-D-Y-N? Yeah.
That's right. Okay.
Yeah, good.

Speaker 1 So that passes. And then upcoming, we have the draft.
So you guys are going to participate. That's where the owners really get involved.
Okay. In the expansion draft.

Speaker 1 Because you actually don't have players yet, as you're aware. And I know you guys have been looking at the rosters and everything.
Are you protected?

Speaker 1 We haven't announced

Speaker 1 you, but this was actually jumping ahead into our rules around tampering. Okay.
Which is illegal, but tampering happens. Yeah.
Okay, but is Hank an owner? Or is it just us like on the paper?

Speaker 1 Because we can have Hank just tamper for us. Yeah, that's a good strategy.

Speaker 1 Can you ask Paul if he's protected or not? Paul, are you protected or not? We haven't released yet. I hope I'm protected, but we can

Speaker 1 still trade. Here's a little something that might sweeten the pot for you.
You were on the chaos? What about Sergio Perkovich?

Speaker 1 He was on Atlas. So Paul was on Atlas.

Speaker 1 Who was that name? Sergio Perkovich. Okay, let's go.
We'll take him. He lives in New York.
Okay, perfect. So you were on Atlas.
I would assume you got a bunch of free Atlas gear. I did.

Speaker 1 Now you can get a free water dog gear. And I would guess most lacrosse players, the salary isn't good enough that having like two sets of different team shirts is pretty nice.

Speaker 1 Like, that's probably their bonus in salary. In the old league, we got bonus by merchandise.
Now our guys get paid well. Yeah,

Speaker 1 remember, this is a player-centric league. Right, it's a player-centric league with great owners

Speaker 1 who also are worth a lot of money.

Speaker 1 We lock them out, so if you, yes, we can. We can lock you out.

Speaker 1 If you don't become protected, I'm going to lock you out.

Speaker 1 We should get Rambo. That's the guy.
Rambo. Rambo is going to be a tough get.
You're going to have to make it. Break this down.
We want Rambo. We want Perkovich, and we want you.

Speaker 1 Where's Perkovich from? Is that like Serbian? Is he a Serb? He actually grew up in Detroit, and I think he's Russian. Okay.
Okay, good. Yeah, good.
You actually,

Speaker 1 really. You can't ask that.

Speaker 1 Is he pregnant? You can't ask that. Like, hey, what kind of gun becomes? What's his neighborhood like? He looks like an NFL tight end.
He's good looking. He's 6'5.
He's huge. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, yeah, we want him. Belichick money.
Put him on the list. All right, what else you got on your list? Okay, so we have our draft.
That's on on the expansion draft is on February 4th. Ooh,

Speaker 1 it's like Super Bowl time. Tuesday.

Speaker 1 We're shooting at NBC. It's a Monday? It's a Monday.
Monday or Tuesday. Monday after Super Super.
And then it'll.

Speaker 1 Yeah, financial holidays.

Speaker 1 You guys can phone in. So Andy Copeland will be making the picks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How many...

Speaker 4 What's your pizza budget?

Speaker 1 Colony Grills, great pizza.

Speaker 1 We can make that happen. Okay, we might.
We haven't discussed the rider yet, but we'll build a rider for you guys. We would come up for no less than 10 pizzas.
10 pizzas? 10 pizzas.

Speaker 1 As commissioner, are you going to be at the podium giving a big hug to every player that gets drafted? I step off of the podium. I'm not actually the commissioner,

Speaker 1 but I act as the commissioner.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'm getting very confused. I'm going to make Paul Rabel clown shirts.
Yeah. And because I don't

Speaker 1 actually,

Speaker 1 this league is unjust.

Speaker 1 But you're the commissioner. And you guys are owners now.
So

Speaker 1 there's a morality clause as well.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 everyone. I'm happy you brought that up because as owners and you're the commissioner, the job of the commissioner is basically to be like a human shield for the owners and any of their mistakes.

Speaker 1 So if we screw up, you need to jump in front of the bullet. Well, I believe my job is to return value back to the ownership group from the ownership.
No, it's the thing I just described.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I need to jump in front of the ownership.

Speaker 1 If we were to get arrested, you have to serve the time. It's on me.
Yes. You have to say I didn't do a good enough job as commissioner providing these guys with sober rides everywhere.
Right.

Speaker 1 Exactly. That's your fault.
Hypothetically.

Speaker 1 So that's on you. That is on you.
So I do like, I'll be honest, I like the new Water Dogs helmet. Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 You don't have to be honest. So this is an exclusive look.
We brought it in. It's got the chrome purple.
It is very swaggy. Matching your purple jumpsuits.
Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 What's the weight? Now, hold on. The chrome purple, if this paint chips, I would imagine it's pretty expensive.
Just get you a new one. But it's pretty expensive.
I'd like to cut costs.

Speaker 1 I'd like to get more money back in my pocket

Speaker 1 and not on the playground. Yeah, because those are hand-dipped.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 let's not do that. I want to spray.
I want to do that. Let's make sure that

Speaker 1 we're not doing that.

Speaker 1 You can spray paint your own helmet.

Speaker 1 Does the water dog itself, the mascot, the logo here, does that dog have a name? No.

Speaker 1 We should name it. Oh, we should.
What if we just call it Stella Leroy? Stella Leroy. No, we can't do that.
That's narcissistic. We got to do, like,

Speaker 1 something with lacrosse.

Speaker 1 And now that you guys are owners, this is completely your call. I can't even chip in.

Speaker 1 It's got to be lacrosse.

Speaker 1 It's got to be a lacrosse. Well, the dog is a goalie, clearly, right? Because he's like,

Speaker 1 he's snapped the thing in half. Maybe we just name the dog Brad.

Speaker 1 Chaz. Chaz.

Speaker 1 Let's get all the Brads and Chads out of our system.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 what else is on your list? Let's go down the rest of your. Okay, there's a jersey release.
So we have the helmet here. We brought a bunch of water dog swag for the office.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So let's pop that over. We will sell that.

Speaker 1 You can sell it or you can wear it. I mean, I'm trying to make sure that we're money as owners.

Speaker 1 What would you say? That's why we brought you guys on as owners.

Speaker 1 What would you say? Here we say governors.

Speaker 1 We're governors. I'd like to do a census, some type of study to figure out where we could build a stadium exclusively with the tax payers' money.
Right. So I want to do that.

Speaker 1 I don't want to pay anything for my new stadium. So let's find out.
Let's do a research study.

Speaker 1 We'll bill the players for that and figure out what location in America the voters are dumb enough that they'll just give us a lacrosse stadium.

Speaker 1 And then who would you go after for the naming rights of that stadium?

Speaker 1 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 Probably Davin Busters.

Speaker 1 Actually, no, you know what?

Speaker 1 It won't even be David Buster's Stadium. It'll just be a giant Davin Buster's that happens to have a field on it.
We should just double dip.

Speaker 1 We should just call it the Pardon My Take Stadium, and then the rest of the owners have to pay us. To license the name Pardon My Take for Field Stadium.
And then

Speaker 1 we get the promotion for the podcast, and we also double dip with a little cash in our pockets. And also, we put a Davin Busters in it.
And we'll put

Speaker 1 a podcast set up center field. This is a sick shirt.

Speaker 1 I'm happy you did black, too, because then it's slimming. It's very slimming.
Right. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
What else? So, Jersey, so we have this swag here.

Speaker 1 So the jersey release is in collaboration with Adidas, and I've already told the folks in Portland that you guys are going to be helping design those jerseys.

Speaker 1 You don't have to go to Portland, but you can give some influence there. And then we'll release those sometime in March.

Speaker 1 So, that's the team's responsibility. Stay away from Portland, guys.
We have that cover.

Speaker 1 So, up to you there. Okay.
Then, the television broadcast schedule comes out in March or April, so right after. So, we'll determine how many dogs games are on TV.
Okay.

Speaker 1 How do we get Jake Marsh, our intern/slash announcer who announces Vermont basketball radio? Used to do Syracuse Lacrosse. How do we get him on a broadcast? That's non-negotiable.

Speaker 1 We can have that conversation. Okay.
Well, no,

Speaker 1 no, we're having a

Speaker 1 lot of time. This is non-negotiable.
I don't think you understand this.

Speaker 1 Well, we'd figure out, we'll get the Water Dogs television schedule. Okay.
We just need him to do play-by-play for one game. That's where we'll start.
Give the other guy a break. Who's calling him?

Speaker 1 Lee Cube. Brendan Burke.
Brendan Burke. And Ryan Boyle.
And then Paul Burmeister. All NBC guys.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So during those broadcasts, I'd also like in our contract, we need at least 20 shots of us per game up in the owner's suite, just looking down, having like

Speaker 1 having Big Cat and having Liam and Hank cleaning our glasses and putting them back on.

Speaker 1 Like just Jerry Jones glamour shots.

Speaker 1 Every time we get a goal scored against us, I need to see Big Cat and me standing up pounding the table. Yes.
Okay. We could probably work that in.

Speaker 1 We actually actually announced this week that our opening weekend's at Gillette. So May 29th and 30th.
It's a Friday night and Saturday night game. How many pizzas? The dogs will be playing.

Speaker 1 We can get your suite full of pizzas because you guys actually have, as owners, you have suite access to every game. Oh, true.
But no, I know.

Speaker 1 I'm not baiting you into coming. I'm smarter than that, Paul.

Speaker 1 It's one of those situations where we go in the suite and nothing's in there and then they hand you the menu and it's like $2,000 to get a Bud Light.

Speaker 1 Well, this is where we start negotiating your ride, okay? So

Speaker 1 I've been there and you walk into the suite and all they have is just like a giant tray of ice. Yeah, and some maybe one thing of popcorn on the menu.
Maybe popcorn if you're lucky.

Speaker 1 Like a couple of mints with like chocolate on them. So you guys want fully stocked? What else? I'm sure you have peculiar items that you request when you stay in your suites at games.

Speaker 1 I need three types of soup.

Speaker 1 I need a broccoli cheddar. I need a minestrone and a pho.
And I want the dessert cart. You know how they bring it around? I want it to be locked outside of our suite.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So it feels like it's always coming around all right so it's like you just walk out and you're like oh the dessert cart's here three soups lock those wheels a keg

Speaker 1 and a keg of root beer of soup of root beer keg of soup and root beer

Speaker 1 three kegs of three different soups no

Speaker 1 one keg of soup one keg of root beer one keg of root beer for big cat okay so root beer all right and then so you do have an owner's suite at every game and then you get 20 tickets that's what owners get can we resell them good question

Speaker 1 yeah i was thinking you can distribute them, but

Speaker 1 you can resell them if you want. Okay.

Speaker 1 We'll just have to get accurate on where this. I mean, they're technically tickets for your suite.
Oh, so they're people that sit with us. They can, or you can put a call in and we'll get them GF.

Speaker 1 You can make some money off that.

Speaker 1 Would you like watch parties in our suite? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we don't show up. What's our hashtag?

Speaker 1 It's up for discovery. Raw Dogs.
K-9.

Speaker 1 We'll come up with that. Raw Dogs.
We have Raw Dogs.

Speaker 1 Dog style.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. We'll come up with that.
We got to name him. I think we do.
Just a man now, dog. I think we should name him Brad the Dog.

Speaker 1 Brad the Dog.

Speaker 1 Chaz. All right, Chaz the Dog.
Chaz.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we hadn't even thought about naming the dog. Yeah.
His name's going to be Chaz. You guys like every game as a revenge?

Speaker 1 Yeah, a live mascot. That's actually fucking kick-ass.

Speaker 1 At the game,

Speaker 1 oh, yeah, do we have a live mascot? We haven't budgeted for that yet, but we should.

Speaker 1 Like a live mascot being an actual dog. We should find a dog.
We need a dog if or

Speaker 1 we find our own dog and then we get they're we license the dog to them.

Speaker 1 It's actually a a good idea for us to have a live dog on the field. Yes, good temperament, though, because little kids, we don't want, you know, going to have to get insurance on that.

Speaker 1 But I do want him to attack the opposing players like Gaga used to do. Yes, yes.
So like if he sees an Atlas walk by. It would be good though to have a dog, you know, like family friendly.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, look at that dog. And we put, you know, have him.
If it's a bull, is it a bulldog? No, I don't know. People have been saying the bulldogs don't swim.
Really? They can.

Speaker 1 I've seen a bulldog swim. They're not good swimmers.
Okay. They don't swim well.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this dog to me looks like... I don't know.
It's a hybrid.

Speaker 1 It's a hybrid. It's every dog ever created mashed into one.
Actually, a hybrid is a way cooler thing to say than a mutt. There's a ton of revenue opportunities from water dogs.

Speaker 1 So we can do dog treats. We can do dog toys, like little scrunchie lacrosse balls or lacrosse sticks.
Nudicles.

Speaker 1 The fake nuts after they get their nuts removed

Speaker 1 and have them hang off the back of cars. Yes, yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Now you're thinking,

Speaker 1 all that type of stuff is up for grabs. This team has the ability to monetize differently than the other groups.

Speaker 1 Now, do we get to keep that or do we have to share it with like the fucking chaos and the at lie and all that bullshit? No sharing across other clubs, but sharing with the league.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to be able to get a lot of

Speaker 1 sharing with the other clubs. As long as I don't have to like share, like I'm not going to split with a guy that's selling

Speaker 1 baseball. It's not Major League Baseball where your team drives all the revenue.

Speaker 1 I also think you tricked us earlier. I was talking to Hank about this on the flight back.
I think you came up with the name Water Dogs, and then you incepted us into thinking that we...

Speaker 1 Because I think when we were talking about Water Dogs, I'm going to go

Speaker 1 ahead and do that. If we run the tape back,

Speaker 1 I think I actually was pretty adverse to it. Okay.
Remember, I made the inside joke about the office, and you guys said the inside joke was really bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I can't call this team the Waterdoogs. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 No worries.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you wanted, what did you want? You wanted it to be named like Chrome or something? That joke didn't land. I got a bunch of tweets about it.

Speaker 1 It's not trying to be funny. Is there a Chrome? There is a Chrome.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I guess you guys just

Speaker 1 have a pretty shitty name, yeah.

Speaker 1 Water Dog is the only good name. We're going to kill everyone.
I mean, Water Dogs, in terms of

Speaker 1 America's team. Yeah.
Merge sales. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they've already passed the Chrome account and followers. Duh.
And they don't even have a team.

Speaker 1 Million players.

Speaker 1 We should give the players the option to just join our team. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. I mean, I've already gotten a bunch of calls and texts.
Seem like I want to be. I mean, if you want to win, you come to the water dot.
What's the value of ownership groups?

Speaker 1 A lot of players want to avoid Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder. And in our league, everyone wants to come over to this team now.
Right. They want, yeah.

Speaker 1 We are Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder.

Speaker 1 What's the process for the expansion draft again? Remind me. So there's 11 protected players per club.
It's the survivor flip cup. And then you guys get 18 picks.
You guys get 18 picks available.

Speaker 1 So that roster, the available unprotected players will be announced next week. Do we have to do, like, do we have to field defensemen? No.
Could we just draft 18 offensive players? Probably.

Speaker 1 And then control the market. That's a conversation you'll have to have with Andy.
Okay, that's a good idea, but what if we also drafted just all goalies? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we just stacked them on each other's shoulders until it was just physically impossible. But then everyone's going to trade with us.
So the rules.

Speaker 1 No, it's fine. We'll shut everyone out of the middle of the middle of the fucked up rules in La Crosse.

Speaker 1 One of the fucked up rules in lacrosse is that you can actually only have one goalie stick on the field. So if your goalie, I used to think, why don't we put the goalie at a tack?

Speaker 1 He's got a big stick and he can catch the ball easier. Then you can't have two goalie sticks.
You can't have someone else in the net. Okay.
So you can with that same stick.

Speaker 1 But they can't have a normal stick in the net. They can have a normal stick.
I'm just picturing like six. How many guys are on the field at the same time? Ten.
Ten guys

Speaker 1 on each other's shoulders. Yes.

Speaker 1 On each other's shoulders, standing in front of the net. There's no daylight for the ball to get through.
Right.

Speaker 1 But they're going to get hit with a pretty hard rubber.

Speaker 1 We will treat them like cannon fodder. Yeah, yeah.
They got it. All right, what else on their list? All right, so we've gone through all of what's forthcoming.

Speaker 1 The draft, the college draft's going to be on NBC Sports, and you guys can make the first pick or do whatever you want. That's a conversation you'll have with Andy.
Deal.

Speaker 1 Where's that? That's going to be at Stanford, too.

Speaker 1 A different trip? That is on April 21st. Yeah.
That's the college draft. So that's where you take in the best players in college.
Okay. Yeah.
Some dude from fucking Virginia. Translate.
Tons.

Speaker 1 Duke. Johns Hopkins.
Virginia. Whatever.
Syracuse. Syracuse.
Got it. What's the drug testing policy like for your owners?

Speaker 1 So the drug testing policy for our owners is non-existent.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 So no more.

Speaker 1 Great. Understood.
But

Speaker 1 in fairness, that hasn't been flagged yet. So it's something I'm thinking about.
Yeah, maybe we should actually have it so that we can get some buzz. No drugs.

Speaker 1 The water dogs' owners are addicted to marijuana. That would be a great headline.
Addicted to marijuana. That would be a great headline.
Yeah. Are we just

Speaker 1 make a list between me and Big Cow, figure out which drugs we have taken, and then find ones that we haven't, and then try to bust the other owners for those? Yep. I'm just saying, buzz.

Speaker 1 Buzz is everything. No bad publicity with the water dogs.
Right. We're America's team.

Speaker 1 I mean, I still haven't taken you up on that dick pic suggestion you made six months ago. Right, exactly.
You should do that. Sex tape.
We should do that. Sex tape.
Yes. All All right, so we know.

Speaker 1 So here are some rules that I jotted down based on listening to the show on Monday. So John Schnatner, John Shatner, Papa John.
Papa John. It's a no-go for me.

Speaker 1 I'm a shadow commissioner. Well, no, that's not how shadow commissioners work.
Well, like, you don't get to decide. The shadow commissioner shows up in the shadows.
You don't see him coming.

Speaker 1 But he has some tie. So

Speaker 1 you guys can't bring him onto your ownership group. Okay.
It's just too much. But here's the thing.
If we bring him to a game, he's going to eat 50 pizzas, and that's a lot of money in our pops.

Speaker 1 That cuts into our budget. So he would be.
That's true.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 if it's concession sales, you want Papa John. He's a whale.
Well, we love Papa John's. We don't love Papa John.
Okay. Okay.
All right. Well, again.
This isn't for you to decide.

Speaker 1 He's a shadow commissioner. You won't know that he's there until he pops out of the shadows.
So

Speaker 1 we'll deal with that later. All right.
Trade windows, waiver wire, that starts in a a couple of weeks. Okay.
So that would be after the expansion draft, and that's when you can probably go after Rambo

Speaker 1 and Perkovic if he's not protected. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then we can't have a discussion with Hank. Can we pay out of pocket for players?

Speaker 1 That would have to be under the table. Yep.
I can't see it. Okay.
Because I'm just figuring out what if we did a GoFundMe and we just got all the best players and just didn't lose. Right.

Speaker 1 That would be electric.

Speaker 1 They'd have to break their contract probably with the league and then then get a fine. So the under-the-table pay would be cover your fine for breaking your contract.
Just jump into the...

Speaker 1 We would just cash app them their salary. Sidebar.
Okay. Don't let's call this.

Speaker 1 LeBron, Space Jam 2. We offer everyone a spot in Boner Dogs who comes to the Water Dogs.
And it's like a no-show drop. If it's a $200,000 to Renner's production, then you get.

Speaker 1 Yes, gotcha. All right, go on, I didn't hear that.
Yep.

Speaker 1 All right, so. Wait, is this going to is owning a team going to interfere with my fantasy lacrosse ownership?

Speaker 1 Good question. Not fantasy.
Okay, so I can still participate in fantasy lacrosse. You can participate in fantasy lacrosse.
We're working to turn on gaming, so gambling. Okay.
Yeah, are we gambling?

Speaker 1 We can gamble on the games. We've been meeting with the Department of Gaming Enforcement.

Speaker 1 It's a really elaborate, long process. Can we gamble on the games whilst owning a team? So the rule right now is you can't gamble on your team? Pete Rowe's rule.
Right.

Speaker 1 So you can't gamble on the dogs. Yeah.
It's Papa John's team, actually. But you can wet your beak elsewhere.

Speaker 1 Wait, can I gamble on the dogs to win? No, because they're your team. But I want them to win.
The goal is to win. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We talked about, we actually batted that around internally as long as we were saying, well, the first step is you can't short your team, so you can't bet on them to lose because you fix that. Right.

Speaker 1 But if you bet on them to win, it feels like a slippery slope. Why?

Speaker 1 It's just you betting on your own

Speaker 1 Well, just put a pin in that. We'll go back to that.
Okay. It's not official.
I mean, these are actual rules, as you know that I'm writing down.

Speaker 1 So we're like building this thing together now to round up. We're even our second season.
We'll have this conversation. Okay, so

Speaker 1 gambling's on. Yeah.
And you want to be able to bet on the dogs. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And the over in dogs games. Okay, so the morality clause.
That's common across all sports. Take Tiger Woods, for example.

Speaker 1 Nike decided to hold on to him discretionarily, but the other teams dropped him or the other sponsors. So what's our takes place? It's a discretionary morality clause.
You get to decide? Essentially.

Speaker 1 Do we get to decide as owners?

Speaker 1 The vote does come back?

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 1 So we vote on our own morality. But you've got to lobby the rest of the ownership group.
I don't care that. Okay,

Speaker 1 who are the other ones? Because I want to know. Yeah, so Joe Sai is one of them.
He owns the Brooklyn Nets. Okay.
Co-founder of Alibaba.

Speaker 1 So we've already talked about, depending on your interest in the Nets, we can get you guys court side now as owners. Next year.

Speaker 1 Not interested. When KD comes on.
All right, well, then I'll scratch that off. I was excited.

Speaker 1 No court side.

Speaker 1 All right, so him. Who else? Who else can we get one of the very few nice things that I can give out? Yeah, I'll take off.

Speaker 1 I'll take that. Other than that, I don't have much to offer outside of a glaze,

Speaker 1 Chrome Water Dogs helmet.

Speaker 1 What else? Who else is the owner?

Speaker 1 So we have folks at CAA, Chernin. We know him.
So you get to that. That's one vote.
Yep. Yep.
He'll vote our way. Yep.
Fortress Investment Group, a bunch of guys out in San Francisco.

Speaker 1 They sound very intimidating. Yeah.
Okay. We can get to them.

Speaker 1 I'm not worried about morality clause. Keep it in.
So

Speaker 1 between lobbying Chernin, probably CAA here in New York. We'll go to

Speaker 1 one of the news. Go to Joe's court side.
Yeah, so he can feel like this team matters.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And then maybe you can reverse the morality clause discretionary. We don't even want to reverse it.
We just, when we are up for trial for something bad we've done, we just

Speaker 1 get kicked out. Oh, and we could pay for it.
It would be a fine. We would fine you guys.

Speaker 1 Chernin would pay that probably anyway. Yeah, Chernin would pay our fine.

Speaker 1 Officials, they're on the table, but that goes also down to the discretionary. What do you mean? Tweeting about officials being

Speaker 1 bad. Right, like the Mark Cuban rules.
Game managers. Right.

Speaker 1 What's the Mark Cuban rule?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Mark Cuban, he's famous for making comments after the games about the officials. He gets fine, doesn't he?

Speaker 1 He gets fine, but sometimes it's worth it if it's in the playoffs and you want to make your point. Like, I'll pay my fine.
I'll pay how much would a fine be? I don't hypothetically.

Speaker 1 We view officials like coaches and players. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're as much a part of the game, and if they have a poor performance and someone says something, as long as it's not egregious, I'm not worried about this. That's game.

Speaker 1 I'm not worried about this at all. And here's why.
I'm never going to learn the rules of lacrosse. And so I'm I'm not going to tweet about it and have everyone, well, actually, me.

Speaker 1 So I won't complain about it because I don't know the rules. But you could always say it's a great out if we lose to be like the refs screwed us.
But I don't know the rules.

Speaker 1 So I just want to sit there and be like, whatever. So you're fine with that.
But even if the refs screwed us,

Speaker 1 we would be okay with that. What are the policy on bribing the refs? You can't do that.
Okay. You can't do that.
Because then

Speaker 1 we'd have to pool gambling. Right now or forever? Forever.
Okay. Forever's a long time.
Yeah. So you know.
The league may not be around forever. Right.
Right. That's forever.
Like, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's our exit strategy here? When we sell, what kind of equity are we looking at as owners? Well, you have the equity in the docs that you sign. How much is it worth right now? The business?

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's worth a lot.
Can we sell it? I can't disclose that. Can we sell right open airways?

Speaker 1 You can,

Speaker 1 with a vote,

Speaker 1 you could begin to sell your shares to the secondary market, but you'd have to get a process. So we can get some cash in here.
You have to get a proof.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, we're already chipping back cash to you by changing the color palette of the helmet.
That's true. Is there a policy on us going out and trying to solicit bids for the league?

Speaker 1 Like for us to go out and be like, hey, Elon Musk, I've got this great investment opportunity.

Speaker 1 Maybe stop smoking so much weed and just shell out a couple of bills.

Speaker 1 Or

Speaker 1 maybe he smokes weed and decides to buy the league. True.
Right. What if we sell stock in our team?

Speaker 1 that doesn't it's not worth anything we just keep the cash green bay packers model we'll we'll take we have to take a look at it. Okay.
We'll send it to our GC. All right.
Keep it open. Keep it open.

Speaker 1 All right. What else? But we do think, so, well, if this league does sell or if we decide to franchise out to multiple owners, then that's another revenue pop for you guys now.

Speaker 1 So every new owner that comes in, we get, is there like a franchise fee? They have to pay us. They have to pay us to start a new team.
They don't pay you directly. They pay the league and we pay you.

Speaker 1 And we set up a very smart podcast. I like that.
So we can try to get new owners. That's sports.
Sports or Ponzi Ponzi scheme.

Speaker 1 I know. So we need new owners.
Okay. Yeah.
So actively solicit. Give us a heads up so we can get you the materials and presentation and stuff as to John Shatner.
Is that his last name? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Schnatter. Schnatner.
Schnatter. Papa John.
Papa here. Papa John.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're soliciting him.

Speaker 1 But he's subject to board approval, which morality clause. Got it.
I'll probably say no. Yeah, yeah, got it.
Got it. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 Fighting. As we said before, it's legal.
Each other? Not amongst owners. So owners can't fight each other.
Is that fine? Did you put that law in because we could kick everyone's ass?

Speaker 1 Well, I had to just. It's just a protection of the other owners.
The other owners demanded you put that in when we got to have us.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, I had to fight.
I understand. Say no more.
Okay, so no fighting on sentence. Yeah, that makes sense.
What about

Speaker 1 fucking betas? What about just like hitting them like a boom?

Speaker 1 It's not really a fight. It's just

Speaker 1 guys being dudes. No, that was it.
So guys being dudes

Speaker 1 lost the contract. Imagine one of these whiny San Francisco dudes like, we don't want them in unless they can't beat our ass.
And we're like, fine, okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah, no, it makes sense.
So that's pretty. It's pretty simple right there.

Speaker 1 There's a wide net morality clause we talked about.

Speaker 1 And then we have to draft your rider

Speaker 1 because you have an owner's suite at every game and 20 tickets. And then it sounds like you guys want to complicate it with the stock options that aren't.

Speaker 1 of value, but you can write them down in certificates. Yes, dilute them with fake shares.

Speaker 1 And then you can give away or sell your tickets. Yep.
And then talking about selling merchandise, that's all stuff that we'll handle. Okay.
Okay. This sounds good.
I'm ready. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're pumped.

Speaker 1 Are you okay with us

Speaker 1 being owners? I'm better.

Speaker 1 I'm not nervous.

Speaker 1 I feel really good. We have to do that.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Really bad.
We have an issue with forgetting to sign ownership contracts. Yeah.
Kind of has been following us around for a couple of years. So who are you guys?

Speaker 1 He said that to me. He's like, I've never had to chase down people to sign a document for equity.
Right. I was like,

Speaker 1 I actually did say that. That's me.
That's us. I was like, what's wrong with you guys? Yeah, well, I don't know.
We'll do it eventually. We want an exit strategy.

Speaker 1 We want to be able to say we never signed anything, but then we want to be able to say we signed it if we ever make money. Right.
That's like the entertainment business. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 All those agencies, they don't actually sign deals with filmmakers or their talent until something sells. Right.
And then they try to get it back retroactively

Speaker 1 or they'll sue. That's our plan.
What about music in the stadium? I don't want to have to pay licensing fees to other artists. We take care of the licensing fees.
Okay. I mean, anti-Gary Glitter.

Speaker 1 I don't want rock and roll part two being played. It's a pedophile.
Well, you guys get to pick your team. Not me, Gary Glitter.
No, I just want to specialize.

Speaker 1 He's Gary Glitter, so we're not paying him. Connected, I believe.
Yes. Multiple times.
Yes. So that's.

Speaker 1 So we can say that. Yes.
You guys can pick your team entrance song, too. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
All that stuff. Baby sharp.
We'll be right back. Be as creative as possible.
We'll make our own songs. We will.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, Hank's right. We'll make our own songs.
Bro, we will rock you. We'll make our own song.

Speaker 1 They have to pay us. Okay.
Then we have to pay you guys to license it. Yeah, exactly.
I caught that one. It's queen.
No, no. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Don't know what you're talking about. Okay.

Speaker 1 No, good call.

Speaker 1 Good call, Hank. Good call.
Opening weekend?

Speaker 1 Probably not going to make it. Fuck.
Wait, February.

Speaker 1 When are you?

Speaker 1 If we're being honest. May 29th and 30th.
It's at Juillette. May 29th and 30th.
Friday night. Is that we'll put the dogs on the Friday night game.
No, it's the weekend after.

Speaker 1 Great weeks, the week before.

Speaker 1 So maybe. I'm a firm, maybe.

Speaker 1 Probably not.

Speaker 1 Okay. So I'll just get ahead of that with the owner's suite and give it to someone else.
Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, we'll do maybe the New York one.

Speaker 1 Hank's got the owner's suite, and he's got the courtside. The Philly one.
Anything

Speaker 1 within a two-hour drive of New York City, we're in. Okay.

Speaker 1 Maybe. I'm still in.
And potentially calling a game still because that was one that... With Jake Marsh, though.
That's we're a package deal. Jake Marsh has to call one game this season on NBC Sports.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, we were talking about tampering. So there's three drafts this offseason.
There's the expansion draft that's first. Then we talked about the college draft.

Speaker 1 In between, there's an entry draft. So there were MLL players that had multi-year deals or had signed with MLL.
We talked about it on the Yak with Steve Romano. Yeah, yeah.
That draft is in March.

Speaker 1 So you have the ability to grab whoever you want. So we can draft Steve

Speaker 1 if you want to, yeah. Is he good?

Speaker 1 I think he's good. Okay, we'll draft him.
It'd be a pity draft. He almost made the all-star team, I think.
Okay,

Speaker 1 so we're going to draft him. Can we draft Steve Belichick?

Speaker 1 Ooh. Chris Hogan? We'll just get

Speaker 1 both are good. Chris Hogan wore an Atlas jersey to a Panthers game.
We'll have this job. That's before the Water Dogs jersey jersey.
Yeah, we'll have this Water Dogs jersey in no time.

Speaker 1 I think if we draft Steve Belichick, that would be good publicity right there. Yeah.
Because, I mean, it's going to make news. He doesn't have to.
He probably won't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 Is Bill Belchick on the opening weekend?

Speaker 1 He was there last year. He'll probably come this year.
Will you come on part of my day?

Speaker 1 I'll ask him. I was telling him, I was actually with him a couple days ago.
I was telling him about you guys. Yeah, then we would come.
What do you say? He loves a barstool. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, Dave has defended him to the end of the day. The fucking girl loves barstool.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I told him you guys came up with the logo and everything.

Speaker 1 Because he was asking. He was like, what the fuck's up with Water Dogs? Then what'd he say? I was like, Was he like, it's cool? Blame these guys.
And he's like, oh, it makes sense.

Speaker 1 He's a lot of those guys. Nice.

Speaker 1 It happens.

Speaker 1 And Steve was in the room too, but we just got to get a contract to him, and you guys can draft him. Okay, great.
We'll just draft the entire Belichick family and force him to come on the podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That actually is a genius.
Maybe that's what we do. Just draft people we want on the podcast.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers, you've been drafted. We're waiting for Coach Belichick to finally call it quits in the NFL and bring him over to the PLL.

Speaker 1 That's literally Hank's theory of why La Crosse is going to be the biggest sport in America. Yeah, that in the Olympics, but that's in 2028.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of time from now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be dead.

Speaker 1 Hard no for that. For

Speaker 1 watching or attending, it's in L.A.

Speaker 1 is? Yeah, yeah. Traffic's going to be brutal.
Yeah, no way. 405.
It's going to be shut down. It's already back.
PCH is going to be just bumper to bumper. All right, Paul Rabel, thank you very much.

Speaker 1 Everyone, tune in to the draft.

Speaker 1 Yes. February 4th.
That's right. Okay.
In Stanford. Tune in.
And then the entry draft and the college draft and opening weekend, all this stuff. And welcome to the PLO, guys.

Speaker 1 Oh, here's just one last idea. If we should make a rule that if you get drafted in our drafts, you can't get drafted in the military draft.
Yes. So it keeps, so it heightens, like we could call it.

Speaker 1 I think that's actually like the government's job to say that. Yeah.
No, we're obligated. We have to bake that into contracts.
Every league does. That

Speaker 1 they can be drafted.

Speaker 1 And we can't exclude them from that. Okay, how about this, though? We also make it a school.
So PLL is also a college. Yep.

Speaker 1 So if they play for us, they're technically in school, then they can't be drafted. Right.
Also, they were a Quaker.

Speaker 1 When you become a lacrosse player, you're officially a Quaker. So you don't have to go to war.
And in the college, we put all of our podcasts on

Speaker 1 a service where it basically is the class, and we charge them. Yep.
Yep. That's why we love you guys.

Speaker 1 You're going to come up with all these revenue streams and the rest of the organization's leagues are going to copy. Yes.
Which is good. They absolutely do.
You got to have someone innovating.

Speaker 1 All right. Water dogs.
Thank you, Paul. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get some segments, finish up the show, finish up the week. There were two other things I just thought of.
Oh, one is barstoolgold.com/slash PMT. That was the first one.

Speaker 1 The second one is actually a two-parter. The second one is

Speaker 1 there is a curse of Antonio Brown. Oh.
So I don't know how to apply it this weekend.

Speaker 1 All I know is that in the last couple weeks of the season and in the playoffs, the Steelers, the Raiders, the Bills, and the Patriots have all been eliminated.

Speaker 1 So I'm thinking the Ravens have his cousin, Hollywood Brown, on the team. Is that going to be an effect here? The 49ers were always linked to be one of the teams going for Antonio Brown.

Speaker 1 In fact, I think.

Speaker 1 The Packers as well. Yeah, and the Texans, and the Chiefs.
He said he wanted to go to the Chiefs, the Texans, the Ravens, and the Panthers. So bet on the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 Who's safe? Seahawks and Titans. Seahawks and Titans are safe.
And Vikings.

Speaker 1 Also, second thing, do you think we're going to get a picture of Derrick Henry and Mark Ingram at Cointos standing next to each other like they did back at Alabama? Yes.

Speaker 1 That was the original Aaron Judge and Jose El Tuve picture. The best.
The best. Yes.
That picture, like, you cannot believe they played the same position at the same school.

Speaker 1 And Mark Ingram's just looking at him like, what the fuck? Yeah. God damn it.
This is crazy.

Speaker 1 All right. Firefest.
Hank, why don't you start? You love Firefest. What's up, boys? Nope.
It's Henry Lawrence. Awkward.
My Firefest this week is that...

Speaker 1 Fantasy Fuck Boys is over and this stupid segment is still going.

Speaker 1 Why are you doing a different voice for your own name? Firefest Firefest is the airing of grievances. You can just say whatever you want.

Speaker 1 Firefest documentary is like two years old.

Speaker 1 I know. That's great.
We're making it alive. It's ironically fun now.
So people don't get firefested.

Speaker 1 My pre-Firefest is that we have a flight on Sunday for New Orleans at 8.30.

Speaker 1 And we all have middle seats. Yes.

Speaker 1 Actually, I heard Bubba doesn't. Oh.
Good. Bubba's the only one.
He probably won't make the flight anyway. Yeah, he probably will miss the flight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my Firefest is that time that Bubba missed the flight. Good for Bubba.
Good for Bubba. Are you, what's your, Bubba, what is your alarm system set up for New Orleans?

Speaker 1 Because this is kind of one you can't miss. Although the last one was very much can't miss as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is definitely my Fire Fest. I've been terrified about it since you texted us.
Like, I've been thinking about it. I have an alarm clock.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just still good. You had one last time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, that was on my phone last time. Oh, you got a real alarm clock.
Yeah, old school. Go back, back.
Do you know how to set it? Yes. Have you used it already?

Speaker 1 Mickey's hand is the big one, is the minute hand. Okay, so you have that.
You're going to do your phone alarm. Do you have any backups? Yeah, I might do a laptop too.

Speaker 1 You're going to do laptop alarm is an insane move. Are you going to use beers on Saturday?

Speaker 1 I think that's the most important one. Yeah, are you going to do beers? Saturday.
Yeah. How many beers? A gajillion beers or infinity beers?

Speaker 1 We'll see.

Speaker 1 Do you have a window in your bedroom? Two. Two? Fancy pants.
Damn. Keep the blinds open.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would also help. Just sleep with the window open entirely.
Yes. Yes.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Right when you go to bed at like two in the morning after you do all those beers, light a very small fire underneath your bed.

Speaker 1 There's no chance you'll miss. If you chug a full bottle of water before you go to bed, you want to have a hangover.
Oh, that's a good call, too. You also have to wake up to piss.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or, Bubba, you can SWAT yourself and call the SWAT team and be like, hey, at 7.30 tomorrow, what time do you have to wake up? 7 a.m. 6.30?

Speaker 1 Let's call it 6.30. At 6.30 tomorrow morning, I'm going to be taking myself hostage.
Please come in and rescue me.

Speaker 1 Take a time release Adderall at 4 in the morning. Addernap.
Those are. Addernap? Yeah.
I used to have to do that when I landscaped. That sounds so good.

Speaker 1 I'd have to wake up at 6.30, so I'd set my alarm for 4, go back to sleep, and then when my alarm went off at like 6, I would fucking

Speaker 1 be ready to roll. Addernap.
It's like a pseudo-goctorus, but

Speaker 1 You sure? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe just don't go to sleep. Actually, what you do is you would just not go to sleep, then you'd fall asleep at 6.15 and just sleep all the way through.

Speaker 1 All right. That is my firefest.
I'm just waiting for it. You're fucking Godspeed, Bubba.
Yeah, my real Fire Fest is Jumpsuit January, and Hank's not wearing a jumpsuit today. That's not true at all.

Speaker 1 Hank, that's against the spirit of Jumpsuit January. I am wearing a jumpsuit.
If you go to barsworldgold.com slash PMT, I'm wearing New Zealand Breakers jumpsuit.

Speaker 1 No, my actual Fire Fest is that people are hating on whenever we don't have have the zipper in the middle for jumpsuit January. Let us be comfortable.
Hate us because they hate us.

Speaker 1 Let us be comfortable. PFT, what's your fire fest? My fire fest of the week is I

Speaker 1 worked myself into having expectations, into putting expectations on myself and to actually caring about something that I meant to not care about.

Speaker 1 Something that I was doing as a complete joke. Yep.
Absolutely backfired on myself.

Speaker 1 And now I have put actual pressure and I have real goals and desires that will serve to do nothing but disappoint me if I don't hit them.

Speaker 1 What PFT is talking about is his HIV test that he's waiting to get the results back from. Yeah, so I'm really hopeful that

Speaker 1 I've got the HIV so I can I can be on the cocktail. No,

Speaker 1 what it is, the XFL, you'll recall them being in the news this week because they've got rule changes and all that stuff coming out. Don't like the numbers.
I'll say it. I don't like the numbers.

Speaker 1 Don't make me learn new numbers. The nice thing is it's good for the over.
But don't make me learn new numbers. I cannot learn.
I know my football numbers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the go go for two your go for two system is go for three you always do you always you always go for two in this system no you go for three or one from the ten i don't know new numbers fuck me up okay so here here's what really messed me up and this is a big firefest for my own brain is um they approached us about doing some some advertising like some sort of uh partnership between part of my take our barstool and the xfl uh they suggested as a joke that uh the dc team does they don't have a kicker right now they've got a punter who's also doing their kicking.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I could try out for that. I could just try out to be the kicker.
That'd be a fun thing for me to do, ironically. And they're like, sure, go for it.

Speaker 1 Well, I started practicing, and I used to kick back in the day, and I was good at one point, and then I just stopped doing it for the last like 10, I don't know, 12 years, something like that.

Speaker 1 I started practicing, and now I actually think that I'm going to make the team. So your firefest is

Speaker 1 that you're telling everyone that you're good at kicking. No, in my own brain, no, I'm not good enough at kicking to make the team, but I'm thinking

Speaker 1 there's a possibility that it could happen.

Speaker 1 And I've been really trying. I've been like, I'm going to be very disappointed if I don't.
I think I can do it.

Speaker 1 We went down to Atlanta yesterday secretly to get some training in with an expert. There's going to be a video coming out next week of it.
And I actually believe in myself.

Speaker 1 And that is the biggest fire fest that you could ever imagine. Never believe in yourself.
You never believe in it. But now, I believe in myself.

Speaker 1 I actually think I'm not, this is not a publicity stunt anymore. I want to be a professional football player.

Speaker 1 I want to make this seem, and I believe that I can. I'm recalling that.
I believe that I can.

Speaker 1 Get paid. Yes.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I believe in you.

Speaker 1 I believe in you. I believe in myself too.
I believe in you. And it's a very dangerous thing.

Speaker 1 Yes. I'm allowing myself to be hurt.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so no one hurt him. Please don't.
If you fuck up.

Speaker 1 Hank, if he fucks up, can you please make, do actually know this Bubba or Jack please go through all the last year and a half of pardon my takes and pull out every time he talked about the double doink thank you oh I'm not I'm not gonna double doink no no no but if you fuck up I live make sure you please do that I live life down the middle thank you thank you um all right PR 101 whoa whoa whoa I did my fire fest which was what was the jumpsuit January oh yeah yeah PR 101 oh you were mad because you thought I wasn't gonna have to do one even though you have to do one maybe that will be the new Firefest punishment that Hank just has to do on every single day.

Speaker 1 PR-101,

Speaker 1 John Beline.

Speaker 1 Whoops. Oops.
Yeah, whoops. Whoopsie.
So he was addressing the Cleveland Cavaliers, called them, said that they are no longer playing like thugs. But he meant to say slugs.
No, he said thugs.

Speaker 1 He meant to say sluts. Thugs.
Which is even saltier.

Speaker 1 He said, I meant to say sluts. I meant to call you guys all sluts, Kevin Love.
I don't know you like your primo box. Damn.
Yeah, so he's in hot water.

Speaker 1 I think, I mean, the big takeaway from this is that his team went to the media with it afterwards and like they don't like, they clearly don't like him. No.
If they're going to put this out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So who knows whether or not he meant to say that's a classic old person mistake.
Is it just use a completely different noun? Yes. Happens all the time.

Speaker 1 Well, I was happy to see it just because for once this entire NBA season, Jim Boylan is not the worst, dumbest coach in the NBA.

Speaker 1 Like he had one, there was one moment where John Beline did something that was dumber than everything that Jim Boylan has done. Right.

Speaker 1 Well, he would have had to have film review sessions with his team for him to be able to say that to him. Right.
So

Speaker 1 that's a benefit to being a lazy coach.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he's in. I don't know how he's going to stick around as a head coach if they don't like him enough that they're already leaking this stuff to the press.

Speaker 1 Well, spin zone for him is that the team is not good, so maybe they're rebuilding, so none of those guys will be there. Yeah, that's a good point.
Except for Deli.

Speaker 1 I can't believe he called Deli a thug. Yeah, he did.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Deli in the eyes. I'm on the Cavs side.
Yeah. I'm out.

Speaker 1 It's very. that hire still kind of, I mean, he's a very good coach.
Very good coach. It was very good for Michigan.
But I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think it's tougher and tougher to be an old guy going into pro leagues these days and like talking to a bunch of like 22-year-olds. Yeah, I would have stayed in college.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because in college they have no choice. Yep.

Speaker 1 If your coach calls you a slug, guess what? You can enter the transfer portal, but then you can't play. I'm sure Mike Leach has actually called his players slugs before.
Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Usually, like earlier

Speaker 1 morning. He's called his players slugs and his players' girlfriend slugs.
Yes. Yeah, absolutely.
The other PR 101 is for the royal family because

Speaker 1 Prince Harry and Megan Markle just decided to quit. So I didn't know you could do it.
Can we explain it to Hank, the royal family? Me and PFT were talking about this yesterday, and I don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just basically there was one king in England, and then he kept on having sex with his brothers, sisters, cousins, whatever, what name you. They all had sex with each other.

Speaker 1 Their family trees of vine. Yeah.
And they all then started having. They have kings, but they also have democracy.
Haemophilia. So how does that work? Where they put big tables and they get

Speaker 1 full 1776, dude. That was the whole thing.

Speaker 1 The whole thing was to not have a king. We said, we're not going to be under your thumb anymore.
But they don't have a king anymore either.

Speaker 1 They have a queen. The United States.
But they also have democracy. But they will have a king when the queen dies.
Right. What Hank says is that they're not going to be able to vote for shit.

Speaker 1 So Hank's correct. So what is the king figurehead? You're actually being, you're actually right on the money here because they do have a democracy, but they've also got a royal family.

Speaker 1 The royal family is still in charge. The democracy is all fake.
So they are pretending that they're like on the up and up, that it's the will of the people.

Speaker 1 But in reality, they're still depending on the inbred guys that bleed out when they bump their knee on a table. So that's what's going on over there.
I actually think that

Speaker 1 this is a big stay woke. Markle and Harry, I think that they're moving to Canada.
I think that this is the British monarchy trying to retake over Canada because they're still on the money over there.

Speaker 1 Like, it's the queen's face on a $20 mark or whatever they call it. 20 loons for a queen, you say.
And so they're still on the money.

Speaker 1 What is going to be the most popular, most valuable piece of property in the world as it gets warmer and warmer and warmer? Iceland. Greenland is one.
And then Canada.

Speaker 1 Canada is like four Greenlands put together. Siberia.
Four Greenlands put together. So Antarctica.
Like Newfoundland is going to be basically a biza

Speaker 1 in about 50 years. It's going to be beachfront property everywhere.
So that's what they're doing? Yes, this is the United Kingdom trying to retake over and establish dominance over Canada.

Speaker 1 It's tough to come back from when Harry's like, yeah, I'm leaving because you killed my mom and you're not going to kill my wife. That's a pretty compelling argument.
Is that what he said? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know if he said that exactly, but that's pretty much what's behind it. Okay.
Yeah. So.
And the Brits are not happy because they're looking at Megan Markle and being like, you...

Speaker 1 you are convincing him. You've turned him.
You've brainwashed him. Yeah, what she did, she was just American as fuck.
That's exactly exactly what we did in 1776. She's like, I'm not doing these

Speaker 1 crumpets every day. Exactly.
And pretending when the queen, when the queen farts, pretending it didn't happen or it smells good. Because you know that happens.
Like in the Buckingham Palace,

Speaker 1 when the queen farts, everyone has to be like, ooh, tootaloo. Right.
She smells like roses. Infallible like the Pope.
Right. Can't have that.
I agree.

Speaker 1 Also, a little distraction to take away from all the Epstein stuff that's going on with the royal family right now. True, true.
So just stay very woke on this. All right, we'll finish up with FAQs.

Speaker 1 By the way, I want to do a quick reading,

Speaker 1 and you can tell me who wrote this. It was one of my favorite tweets I've seen in a while.
So it was, yeah, what are you going to say? It was Hank. No,

Speaker 1 I also said to PFT, we should do a segment that's just best tweet of the year. Okay, well, this one might be the best tweet of the year so far.

Speaker 1 Like many, I've been following the news involving the attacks on al-Assad bases in Iraq by Iran. Also, I've been checking hoop news, and four teams should get a tip of the hat.

Speaker 1 Rutgers, Providence, Maryland, Boston College. They had W's over Penn State, Marquette, Ohio State, and yes, Virginia.

Speaker 1 It's Rothstein-like, but I don't think that Rothstein would ever pay enough attention to international politics to even be on that base.

Speaker 1 Iran doesn't show up on the Ken Pom. No, Iran is like, he's probably going to incorporate that in.

Speaker 1 It's going to be like more life-changing than a summer in Iran comparing it to like University of Minnesota basketball. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is Dickie V. Yes.
Our hero. Yes.

Speaker 1 Just seamless transition. Just packing two tweets into one.
Yeah. Who couldn't wait? I mean, who doesn't think Iran, World War III, Ruckers, huge win against Penn State?

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, let's finish up FAQs. Are there any unwritten rules in the Barcelona office that everyone knows but is not really talked about?

Speaker 1 Also, do you guys have any unwritten rules during the podcast or any pet tees about each other?

Speaker 1 Wait, unwritten rules in the office? Yeah, like, I don't know. Like,

Speaker 1 only Mantis is allowed to sleep here. Only Mantis is allowed to jerk off with his fleshlight.

Speaker 1 One drink per pre-show is allowed. Yes, yes.
That's a ground. But that's kind of written.
Yeah, that was written in our documents that you signed. You signed that contract.

Speaker 1 Don't touch my pile.

Speaker 1 You guys can touch my pile, but other people,

Speaker 1 newbies, civilians can't touch my pile. That's pretty much it.
I don't know. Do we have unwritten rules? I don't think so.
They're all unwritten because we're not real literate.

Speaker 1 We don't write things down very often.

Speaker 1 How much time is spent in the studio recording on a show day? 14 hours.

Speaker 1 Well, 14 hours per person. Per person.
So we're not all in here at the same time. We've got a team of six editors, two writers, three fact-checkers.

Speaker 1 So cumulatively, I'd say, what, like 200 hours? Yeah, 200 hours per episode go into this show.

Speaker 1 Currently a senior at Washington State and was wondering at first glance who would be a good fit to replace Mike Leach.

Speaker 1 Washington State. Ryan Leaf.
Yep, that's

Speaker 1 on the up and up. That's it.

Speaker 1 As far as

Speaker 1 Wazoo, is that what they call it? Wazoo. Wazoo grads.
Ryan Leaf is the only one I can name him. Bernard Minschu's dad.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, Drew Bledsoe.
Yep. Okay.
They've got some options out there. Yeah, that's about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, if you can beat anyone that can beat Washington once every five years, that's who they're looking for. That's all they need.

Speaker 1 If running was good for you, why aren't all the world's oldest people former marathon runners? It's typically some little old lady that looks like she makes bomb soup and can barely move.

Speaker 1 Yeah, running isn't good for you. No one should ever think running is good for you.
You know what's good for you? A brisk walk.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, if you look back at Cavemen, the only times they were running was to get away from animals, right? Yeah. So it was just high stress.

Speaker 1 As far as I'm concerned, your heart only has a finite amount of beats programmed into it at birth. It's like eggs in a woman.

Speaker 1 So I don't want to raise my heart rate too high because then it's not going to be around to beat when I'm past the age of 70. The first marathon, the reason why it's 26 point One? 26.2.

Speaker 1 Two marathons is because it was ran until someone died, and they died at 26.2. And that's how Caesar died.
Yep. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 You know what's also more health effective than actually running a marathon? Putting the sticker on the back of your car that you've run a marathon.

Speaker 1 Because then everyone's like, hey, you're a good person. And that raises

Speaker 1 your natural, like, good, happy chemicals. Yeah, there's no way running is good.
It's bad on your knees, your hips, all that stuff. Don't do it.
Sup, daddy cat, Fart Noise, and Hennies.

Speaker 1 Rank how stressed you get on these days when you bet on them. The first NFL Sunday of the year, first day of March Madness, College Bowl Week, and AFC Championship.
AFC NFC Championship Day.

Speaker 1 First day of March Madness. Because there's just so much that can go wrong, and if it goes wrong, but you can be like already fucked, and then there's still the 7 o'clock and

Speaker 1 I get myself more fucked. Right, that's what I'm saying.
You can be fully fucked, and there's still two full slates of matchups in the other day.

Speaker 1 You can be in a hole and look up out of the hole and be like, how am I going to get out of this hole? And then it's, oh, whoops, it's also a sinkhole.

Speaker 1 You just fall to the middle of the earth. First day of March Madness, occasionally, doesn't it coincide sometimes with St.
Patrick's Day? Sometimes. Right around there.

Speaker 1 That is the start of the drunkest weekend of the year for many people.

Speaker 1 I really enjoy that first day of March Madness. Yes.
You can get into a sinkhole, but since you have three days after it, no, that sinkhole then becomes even more.

Speaker 1 Now you're digging to China. That's what I like about it.

Speaker 1 I just got it. Fart noise is

Speaker 1 PFT.

Speaker 1 Ah, okay. Makes sense.
Yeah, I don't know about that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Last question. How smart would you guys be if all the time you spent watching, slash, thinking, slash playing sports, you spent reading instead? Genius level.
How smart would I be? Genius level.

Speaker 1 I think about that all the time. Jeopardy.
Jeopardy status? Not jeopardy status. I don't have great memorization, but

Speaker 1 I would be

Speaker 1 way more literate. I would

Speaker 1 speak so much better. Everything would be easier.
I'd probably be able to deal with

Speaker 1 all of life's issues, coping, mental maturity. Mental maturity is one thing, but as far as being literate, I think you read more when you're watching television.

Speaker 1 You're always looking at the bottom line, at the scores, at the scores. You're always looking at Twitter.
You're actually reading.

Speaker 1 And people that say, like, oh, this generation doesn't read enough, We're texting all the time. We're looking at Twitter.
We read more now than we did 50 years ago. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Someone needs to put an entire book on Twitter as a thread, but don't tell me about it. Very important thread.
Accidentally just read the whole thing. Call me Ishmael.
One of 7,360.

Speaker 1 And then, whoops, I just read an entire book. Yep.
Someone please do that for me. Is that it?

Speaker 1 All right. We'll see everyone in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Good luck gambling this weekend. Good luck with everything.
Good luck if your team is in it. And yeah, we'll see everyone in New Orleans and Monday night for the national championship.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Tighten up.

Speaker 1 Don't keep away.

Speaker 1 I don't know why.

Speaker 1 I don't say I've faded away.

Speaker 1 Today's another day to find you shy away.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of K.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of K.

Speaker 1 Leaders to say,

Speaker 1 I'll turn it.

Speaker 1 But we'll be somewhere in a way.

Speaker 1 Darling, the life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me, you

Speaker 1 place the bedding to save the sorry.

Speaker 1 Say

Speaker 1 of me

Speaker 1 all the coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 1 be the only

Speaker 1 one

Speaker 1 be the only