Doug Flutie + Wild Card Weekend Preview

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Heisman Trophy winner Doug Flutie, the second Heisman Trophy winner we've had in the last month. We actually have had Doug Flutie on.
He's a recurring guest. But this time we have him in person.
Very fun interview with him. We also have...
He's not as tall or not as short as people say that he's actually kind of tall he also has that vibe where we have like ex-athletes come in where you can just see him you're like yeah he was that dude you know what i mean like just the way the way ex-athletes move sometimes you're like yep i get it completely different from how we move yes exactly exactly uh we have that We have a big time preview for NFL wildcard weekend. We're very excited.
Playoff football is here. We have Fyre Fest.
We bought a lacrosse team. What started as a joke by Hank.
I'm going to actually say it right now. We're never buying a rugby team.
Now that I'm realizing that jokes end up being this. Bullshit.
I'm already part owner. You don't even know about it.
We have. And we have our New Year's resolutions from the AWLs.
Before we get to all that, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as $1.
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Now in the streets there is violence. And a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to electric carbon my tape presented by bar school sports welcome to part of my tape presented by the cash app go download it right now use code barstool you get ten dollars and ten dollars goes to the ASPCA.
Today is Fri-y-yay January 3rd and as of the taping of this show Jason Garrett is still the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys he's still not fired but he's still his contract maybe not coming back well his contract is up on the 14th so we can wait this out until the 14th I think what Jerry Jones is doing and we're going to talk little coaching stuff, and then we'll get into the weekend preview. I think what Jerry Jones is doing is he's doing, like, the cowards middle school breakup.
Yeah. Where he's, like— Summer's coming.
Yeah, if Jerry Jones had AIM, he would definitely send—he'd actually have his son send Jason Garrett a message being like, Hey, man, it's not going to work out. Just so you know, I enjoyed our time together.
See you at homeroom. Jerry is definitely like setting his AIM up so it never goes to ghosts.
Yes. So that she doesn't know.
Jason Garrett does not know when Jerry Jones is at his computer or not. He's deleted the if you love something, set it go.
That thing from his AIM profile. He's monkeying around with a lot of the different emojis and stuff.
I respect it. It is a non-confrontational move.
It's very millennial of Jerry Jones to just be like, I don't really want to fire you because I kind of like you, but you're really bad at your job. So it's very relatable to those of us with office jobs where they've met every single day this week.
So those of us, they had a meeting. They had a meeting on Monday.
They had a meeting on tuesday they had a meeting today they're just meeting that a meeting yeah they've met four times this week and they're still not actually taking any next steps which is like basically what 90 of corporate america is it's great so we it's a it's a nice running joke it's also a great way for jerry jones always uh the man for some flair to have everyone talk the Dallas Cowboys. Because the Cowboys stunk this year.
We don't really want to talk about the Dallas Cowboys anymore, but NFL Live is on right now as we're taping the show, and guess what they're talking about? The Dallas Cowboys. He's going to wait.
We joked about it, but I actually think at this point he will fire Jason Garrett at halftime of one of the wildcard games just so so that we can talk about. Or he might just give him a contract extension on the 14th.
I heard a hot take today. On the day of the 14th when it expires.
Ready for this? Yeah. Jason Garrett possibly going to move upstairs.
That's what Jerry Jones is going to do because he doesn't want to fire him. So he's going to make him in the front office, which will be hilariously awkward for the new head coach.
Make Jason Garrett his glasses cleaner. Yeah.
But no, but Jason Garrett will be sitting in the front office and then they'll hire a new head coach and the new head coach will look at Jason Garrett and be like, so you're still here? I feel like Jason Garrett would be an excellent capologist because he's a Princeton guy. He probably knows a lot about numbers.
Doesn't really interact that well with people. He's a ginger.

He's probably got six spreadsheets up at a given time.

Just make him your capologist.

Jerry doesn't give a shit how much money he's spending anyways.

Yes.

But just give Jason Garrett a job.

That way he doesn't have to fire him.

Doesn't have to break up.

This is like a long-term relationship for Jerry.

I mean, most of his relationships are 30 minutes long and in with an exchange of $200 cash.

$30?

Maybe.

Yeah, I think Jerry likes to cuddle afterwards.

I guess if you drink enough Johnny Walker Blue.

Yeah.

I'm going to go ahead. are 30 minutes long and end with an exchange of $200 cash.
$30? Maybe. Yeah, I think Jerry likes to cuddle afterwards.
I guess if you drink enough Johnny Walker Blue. Slow anyone down.
Speed bump. Exactly like Roman Swipes.
Yes. So I guess that's the big story, even though it's not because other teams have actually fired coaches.
We should stay in the NFC East real quick. Dave Gettleman, he hired some computer folks.
Yes. Six computer folks.
All time moment in his press conference. They fired Pat Shermer.
Poor Pat Shermer. He thought that punting on on fourth and two down 14 against the Patriots would save his job.
The old box score coach. But Dave Gettleman said he's changing the ways in.
I just assume it's one giant place. Every place is one giant place.
Or, you know, one Panther Drive. Yeah, the MetLife cat litter box.
Yeah. So he's hiring computer folks.
I was joking when I saw that clip that it really is like your dad when he gets too many viruses on his laptop and he takes it down to Best Buy. And he's like, the computer folks fixed it for me.
The Geek Squad. Yeah.
He hired an entire Geek Squad. He just went to the Best Buy in Hoboken and was like, fellas, come with me.
Yeah, I don't know what a computer folk is going to do for Dave Gettys. You know he's not going to actually listen to them.
No. That's the thing.
He's just hiring them to say that he has computer folks. Right.
I mean, honestly, if you're Mr. Mara and you're paying attention to what your GM is doing, you don't know what a computer folk does.
The only thing you know about computer folk is there's a guy that gets on your laptop remotely from India and can fix your viruses and then close it out. So he's just like, I got somebody that knows how to work a computer finally in the office.
Yes. I really would love to see the computer folks at work, how they're going to bring the presentation for whatever their big finding is maybe it's the draft maybe it's you know what they what they should do going forward offensive philosophy but how they're going to sell it to dave gettleman would be hilarious because i guarantee you they have to make it it's like michael scott talking you know now talk to me like i'm a four-year-old like explain it to dave gettleman how he will understand it because if you just hand him an Excel spreadsheet, he's going to be like, fuck this.
I'm out. Yeah, he's definitely a guy that you hand him the slides of the PowerPoint presentation that you just came up with.
That has all the nice transitions and shit. And then just let him walk out of the room.
He doesn't even have to pay attention to the slideshow. He's going to read.
Dave Gettleman pays attention. Like every single bit of information that he actually uses is gleaned while he's on the shitter somehow yes if he reads it while it's while he's taking a shit then that's actionable information he can't watch your fancy power point with you know the nice wipes in between and he's not going to absorb any of that so who do you think gets the job for the giant you think it's matt rule although matt rule yeah i did you see in the sugar bowl he spit, he spit on himself.
Spit on himself, like Phil Mickelson. Well, he spits on his dick.
Matt Rule spit on his shirt, which everyone has had that happen, but to have that happen on TV when you're about to potentially get a job in the NFL, that's a tough luck. Well, let's discuss Matt Rule's smock in the first place.
Do you think that NFL... It's a good luck one.
Yeah, do you think that NFL teams make team-issued smocks? Yes. They'll do anything.
Okay, so Matt Rule, if he can get his own smock, I think place like do you think that NFL good luck one yeah do you think that NFL teams make team issued smocks yes okay they'll do anything okay so Matt Rule if he can get his own smock I think he's going to be the Giants coach uh and then the other job we had we obviously already talked about uh the Browns firing Freddie Kitchens so see a Freddie it was so sad watching him leave did you see the video there's if someone got a video of him leaving the facility he took a brown's helmet with him like just to like someday show like i coach that team yeah it was so sick he he just had his hands full of stuff from his desk and it was one break at that point like god damn it man he probably brought that from home he probably had that before he was the head coach yeah that's so sad but uh urban meyer's's the hot name there, which I've said this before. Urban Meyer coaching the NFL makes no sense.
Urban Meyer coaching the Browns would be assisted suicide. He cannot.
He is the man who losses kill him. They take away part of his life, like the battery life in his body.
If he starts at 100%, every loss takes like 2% or 3% away. If he goes to the Browns, he will die.
And I just don't get why he's a great coach, one of the best college coaches of all time. But his strengths are recruiting, motivating 18- to 22-year-old kids to think that this is the biggest game of their life whenever it's not the biggest game of their life and winning and not losing because

losing will kill him and then not reporting things and not reporting things are reporting things exactly to his boss and then writing apology letters for not reporting it high enough but not really apologize and then another apology he's really good at writing apology letters not as good at being actually sorry so i don't know what he's why would he go to cleveland why Why would he go to any NFL team?

I don't know, he's. Why would he go to Cleveland? Why would he? Why would he go to any NFL team? I don't know, especially Cleveland, because he should not.
If he coaches the Browns and screw. Well, I guess you can't really screw up the Browns more than they've been screwed up, which the fact that John Dorsey's out to now, it's like Freddy Kitchens is the most is the winningest coach.
Yeah, it's a revolving door. But why would you go to a place where your legacy is set no matter what like if you're urban meyer florida and ohio are the two states that you're king no matter what if you just screw it up a little bit even more in cleveland then people sour on you go coach like the cardinals go ruin a different team yeah go coach i don't know you to Ohio.
Right, Chargers. Right, exactly.
Go do something else because then you can always come home. I'm also a little bit woke on Urban Meyer actually being a candidate for these teams.
I think he's just like hanging out. Wait, wait, wait.
PFT, hold on. He's just taking meetings.
Urban Meyer? You're saying Urban Meyer does things to keep his name in the press? Yeah. No way.
I think he likes taking meetings. Like, actually, the Cowboys position would be perfect for him yeah because then he could just meet with jerry jones every single day so they're always on the same page about the stupid bullshit that they're doing i actually wouldn't be shocked if urban meyer got hired by the cowboys and then spent two weeks and was like and then and then resigned and then it's like it was too much for my health just so he could get that two-week buzz he likes it man he likes being discussed in these positions in these positions.
I don't think he's going to get hired for a single one of them.

He was also linked to being the front office guy for the Redskins,

but he's not doing that.

Instead, the Redskins made a smart move.

Yeah.

Pinch me.

The Redskins.

Ron Rivera.

I'm dangerously close to being back in on this franchise.

It's a good hire.

It's a good hire.

They fired Bruce Allen.

Dan Snyder got on the microphone today to introduce Ron Rivera and said, Happy Thanksgiving. Nice.
Here's our new head coach. Well, it's always Thanksgiving, right? Also January 2nd.
But when you're always thankful. Well, in the...
The R-Words franchise. Right.
Yeah, you are always thankful for having a new coach. I actually have a theory about that.
Bear with me on this one because from Thanksgiving, from the week of Thanksgiving, Dan Snyder has been a shockingly competent owner. Shockingly competent.
Freaky Friday. He told Dwayne Haskins, don't go back in the game after you're hurt.
Yep. He got rid of Bruce Allen, the worst general manager, the worst front office exec in football.
And he hired Ron Rivera, and he's bringing in Jack Del Rio. Something happened to Dan Snyder on the week of Thanksgiving,

and now he just woke up from it.

That's when he was visited by the ghost of Christmas future,

or Hanukkah future.

And he did it all.

And he did it all, and now he's a changed person.

I like that.

I'm dangerously close to being back all in on the R-words.

And by all in, I think maybe they'll win eight games next year.

Eight?

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah.

That's a lot. It is a lot.
It's a lot. I mean, that could win the NFC East.
That's a lot. All right.
So that's our coaching carousel. I can't think of – I mean, we'll obviously update it as it goes.
It's kind of a lull in the coaching universe. We had two fires in December, and then we only had a couple this time we should say not to brag we called it doug marone fighting for his job yep he had the emotional meeting he cried it out he sat there and fought for his guys and i'm happy he's still the coach of the jaguars i am too i'm very happy for a guy doug marone uh also i want to address this because leroy did report that matt rule was going to be the Giants' next head coach.
He still believes that. Okay.
But I should say I was tracking the Giants' plane, and it looked like they were flying to Louisiana. Yeah.
Flew right over Louisiana and went to Cancun. Ah.
So I thought that's where they were meeting. Eli got him one last trip.
Yeah, with Matt Rule. Damn.
But apparently it just went. They still didn't hire him.
Wait,, I mean, who's to say that Dave Gettleman didn't just jump out of the plane with a parachute to keep everyone off the scent? That's a good point. Yeah.
He's got a computer, folks. He's embracing technology.
Even the computer folks just jumped out. Yeah, just parachuted in.
First job. Okay, if you want to watch us, we are at barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Barstoolgold. slash pmt before we get to the weekend preview i guess we can address real quick wisconsin lost the rose bowl whatever that's i mean that's what you expect from wisconsin every year so that's pretty great honestly if you know going into every season dude you're going to the rose bowl doesn't even matter as much anymore now that it's not one of the six games right no it's still i still want to win a Rose Bowl.
Shut up, Hank. It's all I have.
Wisconsin is never going to be a national title contender. The Rose Bowl is the Super Bowl, and I'm fine with that.
Some people will call that loser talk. That's called realistic talk.
That's called being a realistic fan that isn't going crazy and being like, oh, maybe we can get everything right and go to win a national title. No, it's not going to happen.
Just win a Rose Bowl. You also don't want to delude yourself into thinking that you are what you're not and end up firing Paul Christ.
Who's a great coach. Yeah, Paul Christ is an awesome coach.
I think he's, like, you say he is. He's 53-15.
He is Wisconsin football. He's from Madison.
And he's running that offense where they've got, like, four fullbacks in at any given time. Yes.
Playing bully ball. They were the best team in that game.
They were so much better. They beat the shit out of Oregon.
That's what's, and you know what? I'm not going to complain about the refs, but that was a bad call. And I was more actually mad, less mad about the refs, more mad that Kirk Herbstreit went back and was like, I looked at it again.
It was a good call. Fuck off.
I don't know what they called. I also don't understand why Kirk Herbstreit said they should let him score from the 40.
That doesn't make sense either. From the 40.
No, you don't do that, but the call was bad. It was bad.
It was just like – And they would have scored. They called a pick play on it.
Yes. And it was – so someone mentioned that I did an interview a couple years ago about Wisconsin's season before 2017.
I'm going to read it because it's basically time is a flat circle. I said wisconsin this is in 2017 wisconsin will have a very wisconsin year and by that i mean their soft big 10 west schedule will net them 10 wins in a consistent top 25 ranking they'll run the ball they'll play good defense they'll lose a game they should have won against a northwestern nebraska purdue this year was illinois putting the big 10 west title temporarily in.
They'll then finish the season strong and play in the Big Ten championship game with a dark horse chance at the final four spot, only to lose in the Big Ten championship game to a far superior Ohio State. A New Year's Day bowl will be cool, I guess, and that's Wisconsin football.
That's it. That's it.
Every single year. Yeah.
Every single year. It's pretty impressive that you're able to nail it down that perfectly, except you take into account that it does happen.
Yes. This is a learned behavior from you that you've picked up on.
The only outcome from this game that was different than others is that in my anger after the game, I just started firing off some takes that I've been sitting on, and I got ratioed because I don't think Gus Johnson's a good football announcer. And people got mad.

I think every football announcer is good in their own way.

No.

Because we're talking about him right now.

That's my hottest take.

So I started the year with my hottest take, and that's fine.

I'll stand up.

He gets too excited.

He's like Tessitore.

They get too excited.

The contrast between Oregon's uniforms and just Oregon's whole aesthetic and Wisconsin was so funny. It was like the secret of the ooze against 2% milk.
It was a perfect matchup when you take into account what those two schools are about. And you know what? Wisconsin, with their boring bully ball, bullied the shit out of them.
And Mario Cristobal showed us his tits. They should have won the game.
Mario Cristobal has got a weird... That wet t-shirt contest that Oregon ran after the game, that was unnecessary.
Mario also carries his cell phone over his breast. Yes.
Which is a weird... That wet t-shirt contest that Oregon ran after the game, that was unnecessary.

Mario also carries his cell phone

over his breast,

which is a weird...

No one uses that pocket.

I don't know what that pocket's for.

It's not for condoms.

It's not for a cell phone.

Protractors.

Who knows what it's for?

The new trend of dumping...

Money from Phil Knight.

Instead of Gatorade,

depending on the bowl,

you dump like...

Herm Edwards had Frosted Flakes dumped on him. I love that.
Yeah, that was nice. There was a smoothie on Kent State.
Bowl season's the best. People who hate bowl season blow my mind because it's just free football.
Yeah, you're going to miss bowl season when it's over. Dude, you might not get up for the Armed Forces Bowl.
You might not enjoy Tulane with a camouflage wave. But guess what? February 14th, you're going to look back and you're going to be like, God damn it, I would invade a country for an Armed Forces Bowl right now.
Okay, last thing before we get to our preview. We bought a lacrosse team.
We own the Water Dogs. The Water Dogs.
The Premier Lacrosse League Water Dogs. Great logo, too.
Start as a joke. What's awesome is that any dog can be a water dog.
Yes. They just have to get wet.
They just have to drink. Jake.
It started as a joke with Hank being like fastest game on two. Sport of the future.
It was a correct prediction by me. That has now come to fruition.
Yep. Or coming to fruition.
So I don't really know what entails when we own a lacrosse team, but we own a lacrosse team. I think we just have to have meetings with our coach every day.
I would like to see if we could maybe get suspended as owners at some point. That would be fun.
Tampering? Is there tampering in lacrosse? Listen, if lacrosse wants to make it in America, we need to have some salacious things where maybe we bring Papa John back

and we try to start a shadow commissioner and take Rabel out.

Get Papa John as a commissioner.

Until we tell you otherwise, Papa John runs the Premier Lacrosse League.

Whoever put together the Water Dogs logo and the color scheme,

we have like –

And the team, like the slogans.

Every game is a revenge game, which is perfect.

And they're trained, they're hungry, and what else are they? I'm looking it up. I'm scrolling.
I had a lot of shitty tweets during the Wisconsin game. I think what we should do is born in the water, bred to hunt, ferociously loyal to the pack, every game is a revenge game.
Fuck yes. Boner dogs.
Boner water dogs. It doesn't say anything about the dogs not having a boner in the description.
Correct. That'll be up to your own imagination.
So we're going to have Paul Rabel, who is the owner, founder, player of the Premier Lacrosse League, back in studio next week. We'll figure out if we can get suspended as owners.
Okay. And what kind of legal problems we can get ourselves into.
Yeah, I mean, if I'm not able to tweet out during games it's this is an exciting game both teams are playing well then i don't know if i want to be an owner i might have to retire just so i can get these tweets off do you think there's a issue at all with us having the most bandwagon fans no okay all right because i mean i would assume we with these teams. Right.
So it's like. But everyone's a fan of the water dogs now.
Exactly. So, but I assume they rooted for, like, the Whipsnakes or the Vipe dogs or whatever.
Chads. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
No, I think that. The chaos crush.
I think we are going to get a lot of bandwagon fans, but that's fine. We'll also get some people that hate the team because Obama owns a water dog.
Yes, that's true. The Chesapeake.
Are they still alive? No, it'll be the Portuguese water dog. Are they still alive? The Obamas? Yeah.
Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, their daughters are in college and they're drinking.
Are you 100% sure their dogs are still alive? Oh, I thought you were saying Barack and Michelle. No, no, no.
I know the Obamas are still alive. Are their water dogs still alive? Yes.
Bo is still alive. 100% confirmed.
Yeah. That's been established.
You've been keeping up with it? I did some intel on them over the break. Are you positive? No.
Okay. Well, let's just keep it that way.
If they are, I just save their lives. Yeah, let's just keep...
Let's just... I saw a picture of Tom Lasorda on New Year's.
How's he doing? He's still alive. Mission accomplished.

Another year.

Made it to 2020.

Now he's 92, 93, 94.

I'll be honest with you.

In 2016, when we first visited death, if you had told me that Tommy Lasorda would be kicking in 2020,

I would have said, you're damn right.

Tommy's got a great heart.

We saved his life.

Okay, let's do the weekend preview wildcard round. It's wild weekend at bet mgm is still the home for sports betting for pmt in addition to special new user offers just for awls every week bet mgm prices and boosts special bets for us every week they've got the following uh every week in the lobby under bar stool specials i have a can't lose playoff edition can't lose parlay i won my can't lose parlay last week.
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That's fucking awesome.

You can just root for points the whole time.

Okay, wildcard weekend.

The Texans are playing on Saturday.

Time is a flat circle.

I'm so excited to sit and be like,

wow,

I feel like I've been here.

Deja vu the entire time.

Yeah.

JJ is going to make one spectacular play as he always does during this game.

The final score will be 17 to 10.

Yep.

And the Buffalo bills will win.

Ooh.

Okay.

Put it in stone.

I am nervous for the bills.

The bills have not beaten a playoff team this year. So that makes me nervous.
They beat the Titans, but that was Marcus Mariota Titans, so that doesn't count. What other teams have they lost to? The Patriots? The Eagles? The Eagles.
The Ravens? That's right, but barely. But barely.
They barely lost to the Ravens. I'm just saying, it always makes you nervous when you haven't beaten the playoff team and you're in the playoffs.
Texans aren't really a playoff team. Because guess what? Every team is a playoff team now.
Texans are backing into the playoffs. Okay.
Coming off a loss. I think they're going to do it.
I think the Bills are going to go on the road and they're going to win outright. I got a stat for you.
You ready for this? The QBs in their first playoff start, 14, 32, and one against the spread, 15 and 32 straight up. We have three of them this weekend.
15 and 32. Straight up.
Three QBs making their first ever playoff start. Josh Allen, Carson Wentz, and we have Ryan Tannehill.
So that makes me nervous about any of those three. Carson Wentz, first playoff start.
It is. How about that? Yeah, how about that? So, yeah, I'm going to take the Texans minus two and a half.
I want the Bills to win, but if I had to – like I'll probably just bet the over in this game just because it's a Saturday afternoon game and I want something to watch. But if I had to pick it with a gun to my head, I'd probably take the Texans.
Just because Will Fuller's back, and it makes all the difference. I'll be honest with you.
I am betting this with my heart. My entire heart is red, white, and blue, but the Buffalo red, white, and blue, not the Houston red, white, and blue.
Hank, any thoughts on this game? I'm also betting this game with my heart, but for the Texans, because there's the only way that I see the Patriots getting the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah.
Okay, gotcha. Somehow the Texans can beat the Ravens.
That's actually a good compliment to the Buffalo Bills, saying that they're more of a threat. Well, no, he's talking about home field.
He wants home field. But it's a little bit of both, too.
Yeah. But you want home field.
Also, people forget the Buffalo Bills. They'd have home field against the Bills.
Right. I think the Bills are the only logo in all of sports that has a penis.
So the Houston Texans, even though they are like a red, white, and blue type of bull. What about the El Paso slugs? I don't think the slugs have dicks.
I think they've got cloacas. Stanford tree.
They've got needles. Kind of a penis.
Oh, the entire thing is a dick. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Puddles the Duck definitely doesn't, he's not packing anything. Alright, so you're taking the Bills, I'm taking the Texans, Hank's taking the Texans.
I don't know. This game is going to be weird.
It's got weird, the Saturday game is always weird. I feel like one of these teams is going to win 20 to 7.
And it's never going to be a good game. Who's this game that's another big one for me here booger and test booger and test tour all right huge awesome the team that's going to score the most points is going to win this game okay uh next up hank your game saturday night titans patriots i still haven't fully accepted this uh as i know you haven't you you you're you're like aines-back-on guy right now.
Like, this isn't right. So there are two games this weekend that both stand out, being like this should not be a wild-card weekend game.
One is the Vikings-Saints game. And it downed on me the reason why.
Back in 2017-2018 playoffs, the Titans played the Patriots and the Saints played the Vikings in the divisional round. I think on the same day or like one right after the other.
But it's not. This is not like a wild card matchup type feel.
Yeah, so you're terrified. Terrified? Absolutely terrified.
I think you're going to be okay. I think this is one of those games that's going to make everyone feel dumb and actually could work both ways.
My pick will be the Patriots, but this feels like one of those games where everyone is going to talk themselves into the Patriots being done. And then like two weeks ago, Tom Brady was incredible against the Bills.
Yeah. And then they sucked against the Dolphins, but I feel like he's going to get up and they're going to have that type of performance.
They're going to beat the Titans easily, and everyone's going to be like, damn, we feel stupid. And then next week, when everyone says the Patriots are doing it again, the Chiefs beat them.
That's how I see it going down. So this is a major still-here game for Tom Brady.
Yes, one last still-here game, and then they'll lose to the Chiefs in Arrowhead. Julian Edelman's going to get up in his face, be like, you're too old, everyone hates you.
It's like if you. I don't get also.
I put some thought into it. Why can't Gronk come back if Marshawn Lynch can come back? Because I think Marshawn's been out for like a year and a half.
I was watching the game on Sunday night. I was like, this is awesome.
Like, why can't. Let's do this for Gronk.
That's actually a good point. It is a good point.
I don't know. I don't have an answer.
And I think those two athletes are like, Gronk is to New England as Marshawn Lynch is to Seattle in every possible way. What do you think the spread would be if Gronk came back? If he was 100% in shape, like, had already put the weight back on, and today— If he was like 2016 Gronk? And he was like, I'm back.
I would be like Patriots by a billion. Patriots nine and a half.
He would, just out of a purely emotional standpoint, it would be insane. But don't you feel, so you're nervous, Hank? You think the Titans are going to win this game? I agree with what you're saying.
The fact that they couldn't stop Ryan Fitzpatrick one time in the fourth quarter. They just needed to make one stop three different times and they couldn't do it.
I don't think it's going to happen again, but it's just like the fact that they couldn't do it to get a buy gives me no confidence going into the past. I'm not taking anything away from the Titans.
They've been phenomenal. Ryan Tannehill has actually been the best quarterback in the NFL since he started playing, took over for Marcus Mariota.
This just comes down to one of those games where if I'm sitting on my couch on Saturday night and I'm watching Tom Brady at home in the playoffs and I bet on Ryan Tannehill,

I will feel like the biggest idiot in the world when the Patriots go up 14-0.

You're like, okay, well, this sucks.

Yeah, I should have seen this one coming.

They block a punt and you're like, all right, well, now there's no chance.

Who would have ever known that the Patriots would beat the Titans at home in the playoffs?

It's kind of like the Chargers game last year when everyone pumped up the Chargers and then they just destroyed them. So I think the Chiefs are going to be the problem next week.
They're going to beat the Patriots, not the Titans. So I agree with you, and I'm willing to risk myself making myself feel like a dumbass because I do that on a daily basis anyways.
So I'm taking the Titans. I think that Tannehill is the one quarterback that is not afraid of Tom Brady.
He's beaten him four times with the Dolphins. Someone told us, I think Jake Plummer, someone corrected us, Jake Plummer.
He's not a starting quarterback now, but he's 2-0 all-time against Tom Brady. Yeah, Jake Plummer, I did look that up too.
Jake Plummer has the best all-time record against Tom Brady. So it's Drew Brees, number one, and then Ryan Tannehill, number two, in terms of best records.
He's 4-7. He's not afraid.
Last time the Titans played against the Patriots in the playoffs, they had Marcus Mariota starting. And it was right after the Hawaiian missile scare, which was probably put into place by Matt Patricia, the rocket scientist.
He was worried for his relatives. They got their asses kicked because Mariota was playing on eggshells.
Now we got Tannehill. He's going to go in there.
I think the Titans are going to win. Now, if Gronk is on the sideline, that might be enough of an emotional boost.
He might be on the sidelines for the Patriots like Urban Meyer was for Ohio State. Is there a fireworks? Is there a thing like ring the bell? Maybe in a musket costume.
Yeah. Minuteman costume.
Gronk would be like a pig in shit with that. The over in Ryan Tannehill starts since he took over the job 9-1.
So I'm going to take that over. All right.
That's what I'm going to end up with. 44.5 does seem low..
Yeah. No one's going to want to tackle Tractor Cito.
The fact that it's at night also favors Derrick Henry, I think. Okay.
Because it gets colder at night, and it hurts more when you try to hit him. That's my analysis of Derrick Henry.
I feel like Bill Belichick's going to have so much bad tape that he can play them from the Dolphins game that it's like he's just going to run them through the bad tape.

Actually benefit to have lost last week? Oh, no, definitely not.

Because I think the Patriots would have been in the AFC Championship game.

I do not think they're going to be in the AFC Championship game now.

So this is all screwing up Robert Kraft's game day routine that he has for playoff games.

What do you mean?

He's going to have to fly to Miami and then back on the same day, staying on the East Coast,

get a quick rub and tug and get back into town as opposed to going down and traveling west yeah to the kc so i don't know if his pilot's going to be confused for that um all right next up viking saints saints minus seven and a half over under is 49 and a half i just want there to be just a huge mistake in this game referee mistake something that we can get all mad about for new orleans yeah well new orleans did already get screwed by the refs true at the end of the seattle san francisco game that no call on the pi the no review yep ended up fucking over the saints just as bad as ended up fucking over the seahawks yep so yeah uh this is like a bill parcells it's it's his coaching tree going at each other like his two favorite branches rubbing up each other, starting a little fire. Kirk Cousins on the road in the dome? Yeah.
Nightmare. He's going to look so short.
He's going to look so short. You know what else this is? Yeah.
This is also, I just thought about this, but Sean Payton hasn't done any weird motivational gimmicks this year that we've heard about. This feels like one where he's pulling out all the stops.
Almost as we speak right now, he's like having a Viking funeral. Coach O riding a tiger? On Lake Pontchartrain, just like lighting some jet skis on fire.
He's doing something stupid right now. What if Coach O does the coin flip for the Saints? Oh, yeah.
He's a Bills guy. He is.
He's a Bills guy. That was so great when Coach said Go Tigers.
He can't say go anything without saying Go Tigers. Did you also see Dabo try to do Go Tigers? Fuck Dabo.
Fuck that. You're our enemy now, Dabo.
He did an interview on ESPN. He was like, thank you for having me on the show.
Go Tigers. Go Tigers.
Hey, guys. Go Tigers.
How about them Tigers? And then he gave a little smirk. Like, I can say it too.
Go Tigers. We're Tigers.
Yeah. Listen, I'm sure they're the same exact Tiger, but they're not.
No. LSU's Tiger is way better.
Different color. I don't even think that Clemson doesn't have a live Tiger.
They don't have a Tiger. They've got a rock.
Yeah. And it's not that big.
I've seen it. Not that big.
Kirk Cousins on the road in the playoffs. Another dumb game where you go ahead.
Take seven and a half. That's fine.
I don't want to feel dumb. I don't want to feel dumb.
Also, can we just get Xavier Rhodes name trending before the game? Because it's going to happen. He's going to get torched and everyone's going to get mad about it.
So we should get like pre-trend him so that everyone just knows like, hey, here's a heads up. Xavier Rhodes is going to be terrible because he has been.
And we're going to see Taysom Hill used in a way that we haven't seen yet. Oh, he's going to score so many touchdowns.
I don't know what way Sean Payton hasn't used Taysom Hill yet, but he'll surprise us. Like what has he not done so far this year? Punted? Oh, sack.
What if he gets a sack? He gets in. He came to his linebacker.
Like Rudy? He puts him at a defensive end on the last play. A sack or an interception.
Oh, I can see him getting an interception on like an end of the half Hail Mary from Kirk Cousins. Puts him in as like their safety.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. As their Gronk safety.
Yes, yes. He could absolutely do that.
Yeah, he needs to get a defensive stat, and then maybe he needs to do a fake, fake punt where they snap it directly to him as the up back, and he takes like a couple steps and then pooch kicks it over the top. This is similar to the Patriots game where I'm not going to bet against the Saints in the dome.
And I'm just going to wait to bet against the Saints when they, even though the Packers are frauds, Drew Brees playing in like zero degree weather is going to, it might kill him. Yeah.
It might kill him. Yeah.
What about, what about Mike Zimmer indoors indoors is he going to wear those tactical glasses or what's his i don't know i miss mike zimmer wearing the eye patch yeah i mean i'm glad that he's healthy but yeah it was such a good look for the nfl to have one of your coaches looking like a pirate football almost killed him yeah football almost killed him all right last game seahawks eagles uh first start for carson wentz home underdogs 16 7 and 1 uh all time against the spread in the wild card round. That's pretty good.
I feel like I'm just going to take the Eagles just because the Eagles are that team now where just take them because they're just going to keep winning with nobody. They'll have another guy who they'll probably actually have the Tony Danza movie or, oh no, was it a, well,

Wahlberg who was in the,

the Vince Papali or whatever movie Wahlberg Wahlberg.

He comes in and he's just a Tony Danza.

Tony Danza was in a,

was in Eagles.

Are we talking about invincible?

Invincible.

Was that it?

What was that?

He's the scrappy wide receiver that plays for the Eagles.

Is he also like a wall liquor?

No,

I think he's a bootlicker.

Isn't he a scab? Tony Danza Eagles movie. I think you're making this up.
The garbage picking field goal. There we go.
Philadelphia Phenomenon. This is a real movie.
Thank you. 1998.
The garbage picking field goal kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon. That's the name of the movie.
Holy shit. Have you even seen it? No.
Why did my brain come up with that? I have never seen it. 1998.
The Eagles, you know what? They've got a 5.1. I think we figured something out about the Eagles the last 15 years of their existence, 20 years of their existence.
They've done more licensing of their own logo for movies than any other NFL team. Yes.
Just to make extra money.

They've got this one, they've got Invincible,

and they've got Silver Linings Playbook.

Unbelievable.

Yes, yes.

Oh, man.

I'm surprised they didn't get draft day.

This is...

All right, we might have to watch this movie in the offseason.

I mean, the Browns were the only logical pick for draft.

Like, what team would have the number one overall pick? So, I guess, yeah, so Tony Danza's easy to forget what this game is all about

He wore double zero as a kicker

So he plays a homeless guy who becomes the kicker?

No, he's not a homeless guy

He's a fucking trash man

Well, garbage picker implies

No, he's a trash guy

He goes through the trash

No, no, I think

No, I think he's a trash man

Oh yeah, he's a garbage man

Sanitation worker

Yeah, so he's in the mafia too

That's the secret

It's got everything

They added that in at the very end

I'm taking the Eagles because of Tony. It's my Tony Danza lock of the year.
OK, I mean, I'm not an idiot. I'm going to also take Tony Danza.
Fucking watch this movie. Holy shit.
We got to do we should do a live stream watching this movie. Did you also see the Seahawks? What's his name? Shaquem Griffin? Yeah.
He's the brother that is the linebacker. Yep.
When he's playing rock, paper, scissors. With Luke Wilson.
And he's got the nub. Yep.
And so he throws the nub at the end. Because nub, you can't beat a nub.
Can't beat a nub. Cannot.
You can't. You can't beat a nub.
You also can't get suspended for unsportsmanlike conduct with a nub for flicking somebody off or for going horns down. What about doing the throat slash? Can't do that with a nub.
Can't do it with a nub. Seattle is very smart to have a nub.
They should start doing that. They should just tap him.
He should be the designated throat slasher. Yeah.
Just tap him on the shoulder and he throat slashes. I like that.
Not a penalty. All right.
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Let's do our interview with Heisman Trophy winner Doug Flutie. Before we get to that, it is brought to you by Roman Swipes.
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Do you know that? Don't remember. Okay.
That's okay. Good start.
Three years ago. It was a phone call.
It was a phone call, so you haven't met us, so that's fair. But I did do the pizza thing yesterday.
You did do the pizza thing yesterday. Okay, so that didn't count.
We're talking. Yes, it is Heisman Trophy winner, Doug Flutie, legend, NFL, CFL, CFL Hall of Fame.
CFL Hall of Fame. He is bringing back Flutie Flakes.
Can I see this box? Absolutely. Flutie Flakes are back.
You've got to go get them. The old school.
Obviously, this is what the original box looks like. I love this.
The original was a red box. We had a blue box and then one in San Diego that had a little yellow or gold and blue.
This, I'll tell you, we went up to Buffalo last week, and it was the 20th anniversary. Obviously, this is all for the foundation, Doug Fleury Jr.
Foundation for Autism. And the welcome was amazing.
It was like a big warm hug going back to Buffalo, and the people were excited about it. I thought it was overkill at first.
I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. We're really going to push it.
And the people were so excited about it.

And Wegmans picked it up, and it's online at flutieflakes.com.

So, I mean, it's off and running.

That's awesome.

Well, you were one of the first athletes to have your own signature cereal.

So they had the Wheaties box back then.

But you were like, you know what, I'm going to bypass that and do it on my own.

Now, what do they actually taste like? Because I've never had flutieflakes.

It's a frosted flake.

Probably a little thicker flake than the frosted flakes okay um and it's it's something that actually my wife sitting over there loves to eat right out of the box like a snack yep more than a cereal so it was actually good the kids loved it i'm a sugar cereal guy so i loved it um and uh actually two years ago the Bills made the playoffs for the first time since I had left.

So it was kind of the curse of Doug Flutie

that they weren't making the playoffs.

So when they actually made the playoffs,

kid broke out an 18-year-old box of Flutie Flakes open up

and had a bowl to break the curse.

And he actually didn't look like he was choking it down.

You know, it was like, which is a scary thing.

Yes, yes.

Well, the real question is, what does the milk taste like after you're done eating? Because Frosted Flakes milk is a top five milk, I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think? I would need weapons. Okay.
I don't think we'd go hand to hand. Okay.
Tony's a legend. A football, but it's a bomb.
He's great. Okay.
So you're still taking Tony the Tiger. so it's Heisman weekend as well yes we're gonna run this next week but it is Heisman weekend when you come back have you gone to every single ceremony or you call like when do you know when you go when you're playing you can't get back that's it so after you stop playing most the guys start coming back regularly I've been coming back regularly for 15 years and it's been amazing it's really been um a lot of fun it's a close-knit group a lot of storytelling there's a hospitality suite where everyone hangs out in the evenings and uh it just it's really cool we'll go to like broadway shows together or do some activities and uh it's especially being army navy weekend there's always a big banter with uh pete daw Dawkins.
And Joe Bellino, who's passed away now, Joe from Navy, Pete from Army, all that stuff. It's just it's it's been a treat every year.
You guys should go to Santa Con at some point. Do you know what Santa Con is? I've heard about everybody's walking all over the city in Santa outfits, right? Yeah.
Well, it's mostly like 21 to 22 year olds that are just drunk and throwing up into their own Santa suits well which is you know I'm all for it of course if you're 21. Vince Young's gonna be there yeah yeah yeah he will he will he will be there so that's funny that you guys do so we do do do do yeah we do we don't cuss on this show Santa uhing Santas down in Florida.
Ooh. Christmas Eve morning, we go out and we all surf.
In Santa Costa? In Santa Costa. That's pretty awesome.
I wish I could surf. So it is kind of like the Heisman House commercials where you guys are all hanging out, like, you know, kicking back.
It really is. It really is.
They always have snacks. And, of course, the alcohol is free.
So guys are, like, wandering through all the time. But it is but it is a lot of storytelling who's the best storyteller i always loved the older guys yeah pete dawkins is so i don't just instant respect when he walks in the room and anything he has to say is like e.f hutton you listen you know and then joe bellino's stories were awesome bo jackson although bo doesn back, when Bo's in the room, Bo's storytelling is classic because he was a badass when he was a young kid.
I mean, it's a wonder he didn't end up in a different direction. So his stories just throw you back.
But for the most part, it's the camaraderie in the room. Yeah.
I would imagine that just listening to Bo Jackson tell stories about himself

would be the best time of all.

Because every time I hear something new about him, he's like Paul Bunyan.

I always believe it no matter what, and it's always an amazing feat.

He ran the 40 in 4.18 seconds in wingtips or something like that.

The athletic stuff is crazy.

To talk to his high school coaches, this is the pure athleticism, the power and all that. He had it since those days.
So tell one Bo story where he was at school as a kid and he had his lunch money stolen from him by a bigger kid, an older kid. And he was so mad, but he couldn't do anything about it.
Came home early, got off the bus early, ran and got his dad's 22 out of the closet, ran down the path, waited for the kid. And instead, he wanted to.
And instead, he shot the pole next to the kid, scared the heck out of him and all that. So he goes home.
Well, the other kid's mom, you know, 20 minutes later, comes waltzing over to the Jackson house with her boy to light up the mom and get after Bo. Bo's mom right knows the story grab Bo grab his two older brothers walked out front met him in the front yard and said hey this boy's too old to be picking on this ball next time he does he's got to deal with these two boys so mom stuck up for Bo but those types of things right are Bo's stories all the time right I love it I love it are you um when you see a Heisman winner, do you root for them a little bit more to succeed? Because we had that little blip where Heisman winners didn't maybe translate to the pros, but now it seems to be coming back with Baker and Kyler Murray, and there's some guys out there who won a Heisman.
Lamar, Mark Ingram, the Heisman backfield, RG3. No doubt, RG3, all three of them.
Right, it was unbelievable. So do you find yourself rooting for the Heisman winners a little bit more? No doubt about it, and the reason is because of this weekend, when they win, you get to know them.
We don't get to spend a ton of time because they're running them around like crazy, but you get to know them, you see their personalities, you root for the kid to do well. You want the good things to happen.
I remember we were playing the Raiders out at the Coliseum, and Marcus Allen made a point to come over from their locker room to see me early on during pregame and come over and say hi, wish me luck, and all that kind of thing when I was young. And it's just there is that camaraderie.
There is that you're pulling for the other guys, and you get to know each other. Right.
Especially coming off these weekends, you get to know each other. But like I said, a lot of the younger guys don't always get back.
But once you've met them, you're pulling for them. You hope they do well.
Does Tebow show up? Tim, he's hot and cold. Pitches and catches are almost time for a full time.
Yeah, it's almost time. So he has gotten to it a number of times.
I don't think he's consistent at getting to it. Yeah.
Oh, no, he is. He's here because he's working with ESPN for the show.
Oh, that makes sense. That's why he's not at all the stuff with us.
He's working the show. And he probably doesn't drink a lot, or at all.
But yeah. Well, see, along the drinking lines, Mike Rozier won the year before me.
So I'm the year after Mike, so we're sitting together. I joined at the hip for years at the dais.
We go by years. So I have been in charge of Mike over the years.
It's like, who's got Mike tonight? I got him. He's right here.
We're good. Yeah, we're back-to-back years.
You've got to do it. What do you think about it when Oklahoma Sooner wins the Heisman and you've got, I don't know, who it is but billy sims always yells boomer sooner boomer sooner boomer and yeah so i i gotta wonder like would you rather be in the uh fraternity of like a heisman program with a heisman pedigree where you've got other guys from boston college that are getting nominated every year with a chance or do you like just being the guy representing i like i i take a lot of pride in the fact that I'm the only guy from Boston College to win it.
But you don't get recognized as often because no one else is in the mix. So it's kind of hot and cold there.
Yeah, if I go back to BC, I'm the man, right? You know, you're the only one to win the highest trophy, blah, blah, blah. But the fact that guys from ohio state are back in the mix it

digs up archie griffin and yeah troy um troy smith troy smith yeah and the guys so um yeah that's the trade-off but i you know i'd love to see another guy from the squad today matt ryan was in the running for about seven weeks he was they were rolling and then the end of the season That was the craziest college football season of all time.

Well, they lost.

2007 season, yeah.

They were 7-0, I believe, sitting at number two in the country and playing a mediocre Florida State. I think it was Florida State that night.
It was a rainy night at BC on a Thursday night, and BC got beat and then lost the last three games of the season or something like that. That will do it.
That will do it to the Heisman.

Do you watch the NFL today, and are you like,

man, I wish I could go back and be an NFL player right now

because now height doesn't matter.

The ability to move outside the pocket is a plus where it might have not been.

You were in the era of the big, strong 6'4", 6'5", rocket arm quarterback,

and you had the skills that now when you look today,

Thank you. not been you know you were in the era of the big strong six four six five rocket arm quarterback and you had the skills that now when you look today you're like hey Kyler Murray Doug Flutie like these guys kind of look the same I'm a little jealous of what's going on right now with the spread offenses it makes it a lot more a lot easier for for a smaller guy to be successful and run the quarterback draw not quarterback quarterback draw, but quarterback runs, design runs, zone reads, all that stuff.
And that was the offense we ran in Canada for eight years. When we were up in Canada in the 90s, we were empty backfields, quarterback design runs.
Damon Allen, Marcus Allen's younger brother, was playing at Edmonton. And I was watching film, and Damon was eyeing the backside defensive end.
And if he chases, he'd pull because you ran your run game out of the gun. Right.
He'd see that, feel it, pull, and take off. So I started doing it.
And then when I did it, I added a route to the outside. In case they came off the edge, I just dumped the ball.
You invented the RPO. We were running RPOs 94, 93.
That's crazy. And it's crazy how that's the frustrating thing as a football fan.
Sometimes'll see things where you're like why didn't anyone do this earlier like it's say that people are so slow to adapt in football sometimes but see especially the nfl right they want to know something works before they try it um the amazing thing for us was it wasn't in a playbook we would call zone strong to to one side or the other and then the quarterbacks because up there we had a lot more leeway you know they they i don't know the offensive coordinators weren't as intense as by the book so we would eye things and hey i like this so boom he goes i'm pulling it i take off hey you know what the guy came off you last time next time just turn around and look for the ball if he comes you look for the ball and it it was it was as simple as that that we were doing when i would when any time i'd call quarterback draw i'd put a wide receiver screen to the field and have the backside guy run a man route in case it was all out blitz and a man coverage i'd throw the man the man route if it was zone i'd run the quarterback draw if it was zone blitz i'd throw it out here to that screen and it wasn't like i said it wasn't in writing in a playbook right it was just so now you get to the NFL and you're doing this stuff they have to draw it up against every defense and put it in the playbook first you know three four four three over fronts blitzes zone blitz so make sure we can block every look and what we're going to do and they got to have rules it's like just go play Right. So by that token, when you went to the NFL, were you a little bit hesitant? Were you thinking, like, maybe your style of play actually, maybe they were right.
Maybe it's not going to translate. When I first came in the NFL, I tried to be a drop-back passer and do things the way they wanted it done for sure.
You know, I still moved out of the pocket and took off and made plays. We ran naked bootlegs and things like that.
Then I went to Canada for eight years and it rekindled my confidence about believing what I do well, you know, believe that, Hey, go ahead and run the quarterback design runs. I throw these particular routes really well.
Don't call the other stuff. And because I was calling a lot of my own place, I just, I didn't think it was rocket science.
I didn't think I was any more talented than the next guy, but I kept putting myself in a position to be successful because I wouldn't call things I don't like. I wouldn't call things that I didn't do well.
And when you got back to the NFL, I was much more persistent in saying, Hey, this is the stuff I want to run. Can we focus on this? Focus on that.
I don't like this. I like that.
And being a little more involved in the game plan. So what you just mentioned, I think, is a big issue with the NFL.
As you see, a lot of times coaches will fail because they have a system, they draft a guy, and they're like, well, you're just going to do my system. Whereas, like Lamar Jackson, they just overhauled their entire offense to fit his strengths.
So it's kind of also fit where if you get, you can kind of luck of the draw if you get a guy who a coaching staff that will play to your strengths you're off and running and if not you might be screwed I mean that's the way it is in especially with football you know you've got to have a supporting cast and you've got to have a coach that believes you and puts you in a situation to be successful and everyone has some i mean the guys would not get drafted where they get drafted if they didn't have some kind of unbelievable talent at a certain thing the problem in the nfl becomes though once you show what you do well the bill belichicks of the world are going to take that away and make you beat me another way you know we're going to make you throw deep comeback on the weak side, and you've got to throw it over the wide side, whatever it might be. Or, hey, you've got a heck of a tight end.
We've got to take him away. Beat us with your third receiver type stuff.
So that's where you have to be able to adjust. You have to be good at everything.
You can be great at this. So that makes them have to stop something.
But you've got to be good at everything. Speaking of Bill, I don't know if you had a chance to see the the documentary that came out on hbo it was belichick and saban sitting down just talking film with each other because they're great friends they go back a while but there was one point in the show that your name got brought up and that was when the dolphins were playing against the patriots and that's when belichick puts you in to do the drop kick almost like trolling nick saban like hey here's a fun rule that hasn't been done in the NFL in such a long time did you know that he was using you to get under Saban's skin a little bit oh I didn't know that I didn't know that was what he was doing but uh what he was he is a historian Bill Belichick is a historian of the game he loved it he used to talk about his dad coaching at Navy the triple option and all the things that come off of that.
And that's basically what all this new football is, a form of triple option. So he loved that aspect of it.
And when he found out, actually, it was Chris Berman that came to a practice who had seen me kicking all the time and doing the dropkick thing for years, whispered in Belichick's ear, you know, hadn't been done since 1941. Some guy scooters somebody.
Yeah, Berman had the whole story. So it was his influence.
Bill came to me. I said I could do it.
He said we'll work on it. We did it at practice.
And then we forgot about it for like three. We were going to do it on a Monday night against the Jets, and it didn't happen.
I got in the game. We marched down, got on the edge of field goal.
He wanted to do it as a field goal. Edge of field goal range, we didn't do it.
And we totally forgot about it for two weeks. I just happened to be standing next to Bill on the sideline.
We're down by 14, first and goal at the five. He sees me.
He goes, we score here. You're kicking it.
He didn't get the sentence out of his mouth. And we were in the end zone.
Now I'm 43 years old. I've been standing on the sideline for over three and a half hours.
I'm stiff as a board. Anyway, the whole thing, I run out.
We end up doing it and the thing goes through. But my wife's sitting here in the room, and it's like she was the only one in the whole stadium that knew what was going on.
That it was legal. That what I was going to do.
And she knew it was going to be the last play of my career. And if I miss it, she's got to live with me the rest of my life.
Oh, man. A lot of pressure.
Not only did he go through, but it was good from probably 45 yards. It was a good thing.
I hit it square. It felt good.
And, in fact, when we practiced it a couple of times a few weeks earlier,

I really didn't hit one good.

I hit a line drive.

I hit one off the upright.

I hit all that kind of stuff. And I caught that one flush.

And it was such a crapshoot because the middle of that field,

the drop is the most important.

The middle of that field was chopped up, and it was dirt and little clumps of grass.

And, yeah, it worked out.

You nailed it.

Yeah.

I love that Berman was yeah the fact he's very happy about the fact his role in this trust me he hasn't mentioned that more he probably has we just missed it uh speaking of that team you played obviously uh backed up tom brady for a year there are you sitting here whatever it is 15 later, wondering how the hell is this guy still in the league? Did you see anything like that at the time? Were you like, he already won, I think, a couple Super Bowls. So were you like, this is the guy, this is going to be the greatest of all time? What's it been? I've been out for 13 years.
Yeah. And I thought then he was the best.
his work ethic his approach the way he carried teams fourth quarter we were playing at pittsburgh fourth quarter and it had been a rough day for the offensive line tom's getting hit all day fourth quarter he just started getting rid of the ball earlier anticipating throws putting air on it so the guy could break under it things like completed his last 11 two touchdowns and win the game. He did things to lift the team and put them on his back.
I thought I played until I was 43. For me to be successful when I was older, I still had to be able to make people miss.
Tom doesn't need that. He's got his arm, his head, and he slides real well, moves in the pocket, and delivers a strike.
So it doesn't surprise me he can play well into his 40s. Yeah.
I don't know if you know this about your career. In fact, I'll just ask you.
Do you know which quarter you were the best in? I'm hoping it was the fourth. It was the second quarter.
You were Mr. Second Quarter.
So some fun stats about you here. In the first quarter, you threw 17 touchdown passes.
In the third, you threw 16. In the fourth, you threw 22.
In the second quarter, you threw 31 touchdown passes. You were Mr.
Second Quarter. It was Mr.
Second Quarter. Just put me in for the second quarter then.
Why didn't they see? We didn't have all the analytics back then. Yeah, this is pretty bad stuff right here.
You've got to find somebody that's Mr. Fourth Quarter, Mr.
First Quarter. You've got to have four quarterbacks and go.
You were a second quarter special. If somebody was betting first half overs with you,

you were probably the most electric athlete to watch.

I was most comfortable two-minute situations.

So that's probably part of that.

And fourth quarter were my quarters where I loved when –

because back then I called my own two-minute plays.

This is going back to the part that if you were in today's NFL,

your success would be – Get over the ball, call it in a in a hurry line up see what they're doing tempo push push the pressure on them make them tire you know snap the ball quickly we we saw god we were in saskatchewan i was playing with calgary and i went to the coach john huffnagel was our offensive coordinator john coached peyton manning or eli in new york he coached coached with Brady. He coached Peyton in Indianapolis.
And I went to him and I said, let's push the pace. We went no huddle from the beginning of the game.
And we scored like 40 points in the first half. It was stupid.
And then all my receivers, because it's a minimal roster, died in the second half, and we had to hold on for dear life as the game went. But I loved getting the defensive line tired.
And, like I said like i said again it's not rocket science it wasn't like you did all these analytics and figured it out over time of what to do and how to do it it was always a gut a feel so that's why i say you know second and fourth quarters were probably my my best quarters yeah that tempo damn um is notre dame back notre dame is good i'm they no that's not what i asked they are what do you mean What do you mean by back? What do you mean by back? I mean back. You know what we mean by back.
You know what back is. They're going to win nine, ten games every year.
That's not back. What's back? Win a national championship? Competing for a national championship.
Only one team. This is what kills me.
Notre Dame got beat by Michigan badly. Middle of the season, right? Well, Brian Kelly has still, a couple times, the NC State game and the Michigan game, Brian Kelly thinks he's stronger than rain.
I hear you. I hear you.
I get you. Okay, I didn't know where you were going there, but yes, I get you.
He thinks he can throw through rain. They weren't a physical team this year, but their skill position guys, their defensive line, they had three defensive ends.
They have four that are going to be first rounders, and three of them got hurt this year. But they lose that Michigan game, and I'm going to do the next game, and the locals are like, when are we going to be good again? You were just 12 and 0 last year in the regular season and played for a national team.
You were playing in the playoff. This year, you're 10 and 2.
What do you want? Well, that's the problem with college football. College football fan bases, you know, there's only one team wins it all.
And there's only really four. It's like Alabama.
When are we going to be good again? We haven't won a national championship in three years. Right.
So there's only four to five teams that are really, you know, competing for that national title. It's pretty much Clemson, Alabama, you know.
Tirico and I were having this conversation, and Mike brought it up. It's like there's three teams that are behind the velvet.
There's a bunch of good teams, but there's three. And it's Clemson, Alabama, Ohio State that are behind the velvet road.
They're going to get their invitation. And maybe Oklahoma.
They're there every year. They're going to be there.

And Alabama got beat for a second time, and it didn't happen for them this year.

But this year's –

They're competing every year.

They're going to be there.

If they win their games, they're in.

I'll tell you what.

LSU – and it's the Joe Burrow thing.

LSU all of a sudden had an offense.

When was the last time they had an offense?

I know.

You know?

It's like all of a sudden they're scoring 40 points, 50 points, and Joe's lighting it up and putting the team on his back, and they're doing something they've never done before. So, number one, I think he deserves a Heisman.
But number two, was it that amazing because they'd never done it before and we were all just shocked? There was definitely like a – this is different. Although LSU has had the most quarterbacks drafted since 2000.
Yeah. And also it was – They're all like six-rounders.
Yeah. Tua was kind of the same at Alabama.
Tua did stuff at Alabama that you're like, wait, this isn't Alabama. The 9-6 Alabama-LSU games are gone.
Right. Right.
50-something to 40-something this year. Those guys kind of changed what it meant to play that position at those universities.
I mean, Alabama has obviously some history of quarterbacks, but in terms of a guy who can push the ball down the field like Tua was, there's not many guys who did that. How about when he came off the bench and Jalen got hurt or wasn't playing well in the championship game and he just went to this freshman we'd never heard of, and then both of them this year are up basically in the mix for the Heisman as the season went.
It's just amazing. It's crazy.
I mean, you could make the argument, like, Tua has still had a great college career. Even though he didn't finish that, he's not going to have a Heisman.
But people are saying that he might drop out of the first round because of injury concerns. I think somebody's going to grab him pretty early on in the draft.
Absolutely. I mean, injuries, it's a young age.
He'll bounce back from it and probably be full speed. But that's the biggest variable as far as length of career and everything.
It's so hard to stay healthy once you've been playing for a while. Yeah.
So wait, you never answered, though. Notre Dame is back? I don't understand back.
In other words, are they going to win a national championship? Not soon, I don't think. So they're not back.
They will be in that college football playoff picture every year. They'll be a top-ten team.
They'll be right there. But there's some things that make it much more difficult at Notre Dame to win a national championship.
Oh, you're going to do the academics. We don't just take everybody.
There's some standards to get in. You have to be Notre Dame, man.
There are people playing college football that do not belong on college campus. We love talking about this because I am a big college football fan, and I do really love when the big-time old-school programs are good.
You know, I really want USC to be good because USC, it feels like there's a hole out west right now with the Pac-12 when USC isn't good. Notre Dame's kind of similar.
Like all these teams, when they're good again, it makes it a lot more fun and the Blue Bloods and everything. See, I would put Notre Dame up against any – they can beat any team in the country on any given day right now with the talent they had.
The problem is by the end of the year, three of their top defensive ends were banged up. And the one thing this year, though, from a talent standpoint, I thought that the offensive line was not as – I thought they were going to be great.
They were very good this year. They didn't have a power running game this year like I thought they were going to have.
Can you always sense that mid-October Notre Dame game in South Bend when a Virginia Tech or maybe a Navy or a BC or name all these schools that is going to give them a problem? Because it's always one game. Oh, they'll bring up.
Yeah, Pitt. Yeah, you turn it on.
All those blue-collar tough teams that can make them look a little ugly and play it close. Can you feel it before it happens? You really can.
Yeah. Tariko had a great feel for it.
Like, he called a couple. He called that Pitt game a year ago.
The Virginia Tech game this year. Virginia Tech this year Virginia was tough um I just uh and I said to Brian Kelly they were playing or Notre Dame was playing BC the end of the year and we were doing the game and I said uh you know people at Boston College look at this is like the Catholic Super Bowl championship it's a big deal but how do you view it and he's like you know I don't mean to be condescending but it's another game for us yeah it's just another game so every team that plays notre dame has notre dame up here on a pinnacle and that's they're shooting for that game if they're having a rough season or mediocre that still this will make their season if they can beat notre dame and everyone feels that way they get their best punch so when you have a scary team that maybe has been underachieving or is talented and tough, I thought it might happen with BC.
I thought BC might give them a fit, and Notre Dame came out and played and blew BC out because BC can play physical football and could make a team look ugly. But that's what happens with the pits.
It can happen.'s like a it is one of those things that uh as the leaves turn notre dame will struggle in that 230 time slot against some team that they should blow out no doubt and it becomes like an instant classic where in the fourth quarter you're like man it's a one-point game how'd this happen was it virginia it was virginia tech that they had to go the length of the field and score again yes yeah that was yes. That was huge.
It's the best. That's what football in the fall is right there.
Jumping back real quick to when you were at Boston College, I saw this is on your Wikipedia page, so it might be totally inaccurate. Tom Coughlin was your coach? Yes, he was.
Your quarterback coach? He was. Did he make you show up 15 minutes early to everything? He built a discipline in me.
Yes, he did. When I first went to school, and I was only a freshman, and I was like low man on the total pole.
But all my classes were to be in the morning and done by 11. I can grab lunch.
He allowed that. And then get your ass down.
He let you have lunch? And it was you get to when the meeting starts, you are in your seat, your book open, pen in hand, you're ready to go.

It's not like we show up at 11 or noon or whatever the meeting is and you kind of ease into the, no, you're ready to go when he walks in the room.

And he built this, he pushed me, I became the starter and the first week he babied me.

We played Navy and he just kind of gave me some stuff to run that he thought would be easy for me to do week one. And I played a really nervous, mediocre game.
And we came back against Pitt the next week, who was a – actually, was it Army first, but Pitt, I think. And Dan Marino, they were number one in the country, all this stuff.
And he threw the kitchen sink at me, all the checks, all the audibles, and made me work my tail off. And I had a great game, and we should have beat him.
We almost beat him. And from there on, he just threw everything at me, made me learn.
He built a lot. I was the most disciplined I've ever been in my life when I was playing for Tom Coughlin.
Really? And he made everything else that came later easy. Right.
Yeah. Everything else became, you know, in fact, he left in my senior year.
My junior year, I finished third in the Heisman, and he left to go to the NFL. And just an old friend of our head coach came in as our offensive coordinator.
So I knew the offense better than he did, and we kept the same terrain. And I was like – it was like I was just playing and having fun my senior year.
But he had built the discipline in me, no doubt about it. So by the time you get to the NFL, later on you're dealing with Belichick you're like wow this guy lets you take bathroom breaks yeah no guy's soft yeah I'll tell you I didn't have to deal with Bill too much one-on-one um you know I have a great relationship with Bill Belichick to this day um but I you know Josh was the offense coordinator and uh we had fun and Tom Tom and Josh watching the rapport between Tom and Josh was amazing.
And you were older than Josh. So what was that like to have your coach be younger than you? Well, the first time, I'm out in San Diego.
I'm 42, 43 years old. And our offense coordinator was Brian Schottenheimer.
He's 29. And Drew Brees will say it to this day.
Drew calls the salty dog it's just everything anything new annoyed me I was set in my ways it's like really we're going to do this we're going to grab a jump rope and go out here and have a stopwatch during the off season and keep track of how many touches you know what jumping rope does for you get you better at jumping rope give me a football and that was was always my attitude but so same principle that not so much there i had a great deal and i i learned i respect brian brian was great and then we got josh and they'd already won super bowls and i was i was taking notes yeah um all right my last question flutieflakes by the way is in you can get it wegmans you can buy it online fl.com. FlutieFlakes.com.
I'm going to have a bowl after this. Or do you have to take these with you? No, they're all you.
Okay, I'm going to have a bowl. Knock yourself out.
You get a little sugar high. Absolutely.
So go check out Flutie Flakes. We're talking to Doug Flutie, Heisman Trophy winner, legend of football.
So my last question, Seeky question, promo code TAKE. Put it in.
You you get ten dollars off uh the heisman the pictures behind you do you ever ask them to maybe like make you look a little i don't know like i always i always laugh at them right can you can those be changed i love those those how about steve spurriers do you know steve spurriers yes he's got that badass grimace on his face. Yes, he does.
They're so funny. I love seeing those every single time.
I just think it's such a nice. Well, the crime of it is it used to be, and we all have those portraits as well at a home.
I have one at a Heisman home, the portrait. And they also have a portrait that they kept at the Heisman room.
Downtown Athletic Club used to hold the Heisman trophy downtown by Battery Park. There was a Heisman room for the members where they would have lunch.
It was a bar and grill and all the portraits were in that room and on display year round. Well, when the Downtown Athletic Club went under, the Heisman Trust taking over, all those portraits get put in storage all year long and come out for one day.
We'll put them in our studio. Yeah, we'll hang on to them.
If you want to talk to them, we'll charge you $50. One a day.
I'll rotate them each week. Perfect.
We'll just throw them up there. I'm looking at the Steve Spurrier one right now.
That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.
I don't know how he got away with that. It is one of those awards.
Even through the time, like we said at the beginning, there was times when the Heisman wasn't always the first pick in the draft or the guy who you would want to start your franchise with. But for some reason, like you say that name, and sometime in the middle of December, it's like, Heisman, let's do it.
Heisman moment, too. I think that's probably why.
You know, a lot of times Heisman moment is something you remember the guy from that year. But one moment will not win you the the Heisman there's no I a lot of people think with me because of the Hail Mary yeah I was third in the Heisman Ballad in my junior year I came out early on we upset Alabama I threw six touchdown passes the next week against North Carolina and there was no looking back it was like off and running but um you know guys if you if you went ahead you've earned it there's there's it's long season.
I think that's just more the media loves to say, is that the Heisman moment? Yeah. I think Joe Burrows had 16 Heisman moments.
When he got his pants pulled down. Heisman moment.
It's just that after a big touchdown, when the broadcaster kind of runs out of things, they were like, Heisman moment. That LSU-Alabama game.
Yeah. All Heisman moments.
game. It was an entire game out of it.
It was just Heisman moments. The Johnny Manziel, that pass where he ran back and forth.
That was his Heisman moment. Think for him on that one.
Think about that play. I mean, okay, he was a heck of an athlete and scrambled all over the place and bought time and threw it up for grabs.
Yes, yes. Heisman moments.
Eli Manning had a Heisman moment in the Super Bowl. Yeah, sometimes Heisman moments are the receivers, not the quarterbacks.
I bought as much time as I could, and I just threw it as far as I could. And then Gerard got under it, and they collide, and the ball goes through, and Gerard catches it.
Do you ever dream about that game, that play? No, but I keep waiting for – they show the replay so often, especially in November around that time, around Thanksgiving, where it happened. They show it a lot, a lot, a lot.
And we did a reenactment this year, and they did some stuff. I'm waiting for someone to do the Michael Jordan commercial where he misses the shot, where Gerard drops the ball, where, you know, you – Okay, we'll do it.
With all the computer-generated stuff, we do. What if this happened? What if? Sliding doors moment.
Yeah. I noticed that you brought up the Hail Mary, and we didn't bring it it up was that because it's weird for you to do an interview without somebody asking you about no i think it just it felt natural off of something i don't know why heisman moment sure there it is that's what the heisman moments that this has been your heisman moment okay now i and i'll show you guys on my phone later on that play i found a new camera and i've always thought this for all my life i told the tight end was supposed to be in pass protection on the back side and i realized with an inadvertent whistle they were only bringing three i walk over i tell go long stay down the boundary and go long i was going to roll right try to get everybody to flow turn around and see take a peek back side before i threw the hail mary well someone's running at me i throw the hail mary i found an angle that shows that tight end all by himself on the 15 yard line.
Cause the backside corner had drifted all the way across the field. And he was the one that jumped up and bumped into the safety, knocked him off the ball.
It goes to Gerard. I could have just set thrown, hit the tight end.
He would have walked in the end zone. So it was actually a bad play on your part.
It was bad. No, I didn't have time to do it.
It wouldn't have been a Heisman moment. That's true.
Don't bring it off to the tight end. It's not the Heisman moment.
Too easy. Yeah, too easy.
Exactly. All right.
Well, Doug Flutie, thank you so much. Flutie Flakes, again, awesome hat.
I'm going to keep this hat. Yeah, they're great.
Actually, yeah, the hat was – Yeah. I like the hat a lot.
I was surprised with the hat. Yes.
So thank you. Enjoy the Heisman.
Enjoy Joe Burrow. He's going to be a friend of ours, current guest soon, maybe.
But, yeah, have fun.

Sounds good.

Thanks.

Have a fun weekend.

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breaking moose,

breaking moose.

Breaking moose.

Okay.

Mike Leach is on his bullshit again.

What do you do? He's got his off-season Twitter going. Yeah? He posted a picture.
It was a camera on a tree that says send nudes and then a bear showing his dick. I see it.
His dick. I see it.
It's pretty good. Pretty good, right? You should put that bear inside an equipment shed and make him stare at the wall.
Mike Leach, off- Mike Leach is here. That's it.
That's all I got. He also tweeted Bigfoot sightings.
Is Bigfoot real? Well, because he's getting ready to head down to Atlanta where he's going to be the offensive coordinator for the Falcons. Oh, man.
He's just using Twitter like it's forwarding his emails to all his buddies, which I don't, I wouldn't imagine Mike Leach has like a ton of friends, but he's got a great Twitter. He's got coaches.
He's got coaches that think that he's funny to observe. Yes.
But I don't know if he has any like buddies. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I saw that one. That's pretty damn good.
That's pretty. Coach, you're crushing it.
He's basically taken Boomer Facebook game and just brought it to Twitter. Yes.
It's revolutionary. Yes.
Oh, fuck. That's awesome.
All right. Fire Fest.
Hank, why don't you start your Fire Fest of the week? So as you guys know, I was on vacation last week. Yeah.
You look great. You look relaxed.
Lovely time. Lovely time.
I rented a car. Got a nice plug at Enterprise.
He hooked me up with a car. Drove it to Vermont.
Drove it to Maine. Drove it back.
And then today, I was trying to return it, and every single Enterprise in the New York City area was completely full. Oh.
So I had to take it deep, deep, deep, deep, deep to the depths of Brooklyn. It was a whole ordeal.
It took me like three hours to get to work this morning. That's the problem with – I tried to get up and get after it early.
Like, you know, I've been gone for a while. I'm going to get in early and get my shit done.
And it was like just fire fest after fire fest. Call, hold, nope.
Call the next place, wait on hold, nope. Call the next place, wait on hold, nope.
That's the downside of accepting a favor from somebody is at the back end of the favor, you have to make sure that they're taken care of too. So if you had just rented this from Enterprise and taken it back and they're like, hey, guess what? This lot's full.
You probably just would have left the car in the Enterprise parking lot. And they're like, well, it's your car.
So here you go. Damn.
But you can't do that. Got to be nice.
Sorry, Hank. That sucks.
Sorry that your free car was inconvenient to return after your after your vacation i also fucked my uh my knee up pretty bad scheme really oh yeah what a double black diamond any pills uh no it was a red square i mean a blue square but oh blue yeah pussy can be a little icy yeah um all right i'll go next because my fire fest is off of hank's fire fest my fire fest is hank butt dialed me and on vacation it sounded really fun and i was just sitting there on my couch doing nothing first of all it's rare to get a butt dial these days i must have been thinking because i was drizzbombed i thought that was i thought you texted me you texted me the next morning and i literally i must have seen it and then went back to sleep and then i woke up i was like that that didn't happen didn't happen. It's weird because you don't have an ass from which to butt dial somebody with.

I was a SpongeBob meme, verbal meme.

I was the SpongeBob character up in the upstairs looking at everyone have fun down in the yard.

That was me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You were like someone was talking about needing a lighter and I was like, damn, they're about to smoke.

That's awesome.

I'll give an example.

I sat there and listened for like a minute. Just being like, fuck, this is so cool.
Did you find a lighter? I'm sure. I'm sure we probably just went to the woods.
Drizbombed. A good analogy would be receiving butt dial from Hank is like getting a typo from Shaquem Griffin.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So it sounded like you had a great time, Hank. I did.
It really did.

But I'm so happy to be back.

I missed you guys.

Hank had such a good time.

He didn't respond to any text messages for seven days.

That's how much he missed us.

It was the – service was tough.

Oh, yes.

Only phone calls.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Only FaceTime.

Yeah.

How was a pre-ski?

I don't know what that means, but skiing was lovely.

Fresh pow.

That's what you do after you're done skiing. You've never skied.
No, but I know. I talked to Lindsey Vonn.
Fresh pow pow? Mm-hmm. Nice.
PFT, what's your podcast? By the way, I've remained more committed than ever to not ever going skiing. Yeah, you have to.
I feel like it's my thing now. Absolutely.
It's like, actually, I don't go skiing. You should go to a ski weekend and just not ski.
And protest the skiers. Yeah, yeah.
You're destroying the mountain. Get drizzbombed.
I'm a mountain guy. Mm- mountain guy my fire fest of the week is upcoming this saturday night as i mentioned earlier we're going to be playing yeah punk is playing a show in long island on saturday night it's during the patriots game during the patriots titans game so we're going on stage at halftime uh still don't know how you scheduled that uh so they scheduled it and i'm gonna going to have to have, like, a phone in front of me, so I'll keep the crowd updated with scores.
You did think that – I said to you, I was like – Well, I didn't think that the Patriots were going to be playing on that first weekend. As a Pats fan, I've never had to deal with that.
I was like, hey, when's Pup Punk? You're like, oh, it's Saturday, January 4th. I was like, there's wild card weekend.
You're like, yeah, but they play those games in the afternoon. I was like, no.
I got the schedule mixed up. I thought that the Saturday schedule was the Sunday schedule.
and so I was like there's wild card weekend you're like yeah but they play those games in the afternoon i was like i got the schedule mixed up i thought that the saturday schedule was the sunday schedule ah and so i was like okay saturday night there'll be no game uh there will be a game always a game i will have to be paying attention to it as i'm you know what i might do is i might just improvise some lyrics while i'm singing and throwing the score so the crowd can stay up to yeah that's a tough one on stage i feel for you yeah you. I feel for you.
It's going to be tough. Just come out to Mulcahy's.
Yeah, it'll be fine. No one's upset about it.
It'll be fine. No, you're fine.
You're totally fine. Where is it again? Mulcahy's.
In Long Island. On Long Island.
All right, next up we have a drunk idea. You want to do your drunk idea before we finish up with AWL's New Year's resolutions? I did have i had a two beer idea so it was a two beer idea uh earlier this week the day before new year's eve so i guess that would be december 30th uh i'm not a fan of going out on new year's eve i know you're not same hank i don't know your position or above you guys are young bucks he doesn't even know we had new year's yeah so you're probably just always drunk it doesn't matter to you but i don't i i prefer day drinking to night drinking darting facts also new year's eve is just a pain in the ass you pay 200 amateur hour get a ticket to a bar and then you wait for 30 minutes to get a drink you get like three three you know pigs in a blanket not my idea of a good time yeah so i came up with an idea where it's new year's eve where you celebrate new year's on a different time zone so you got for lunch you got for brunch from like 11 or noon and then you start celebrating time zones overseas that change into new year's so people can wear costumes you gotta pick one yeah you have to go out and you have to decide like for example i would celebrate on german time right so.m.
Eastern time. I'd wear, like, lederhosen.
I'd have some Steins of beer. Love it.
Celebrate at 6 p.m. And everybody can choose where they want to celebrate, what time zone they want to be in.
Then we leave at 9 p.m. We're all at home in time for, like, you know, to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
Yes. And we're not as hungover the next day.
I like it. I actually think it's a genius idea.
So I'm saying it right now. So I don't forget it for next year and I'm going to plan it out.
Well, I was telling you, I was, I went to the gym today, not a brag, just a statement of fact. And I was, the TV was on and in good morning America, they were recapping their holidays.
And one of the women was like, we did for the kids, we had a party and we played them, uh, the London new year and all the kids went crazy because they thought it was midnight. Yeah.
So it's basically the same as that. Yeah, exactly.
It's a kid's party for adults. Treating ourselves like six-year-olds is fine.
There's really no difference between being younger than 10 and older than 30. Correct.
Driving and that's it. My bedtime.
Yeah, right, right. All right, Hank, should we do our AWL's New Year's resolutions? Yes.
Okay. By the way, I've done 20 push-ups and 20 squats both days of 2020.
My New Year's resolution is to complete the Josh Gordon bet. Yes.
Yes. At some point.
Yes. And be able to bench press 215 pounds.

So what would be really helpful for you in that bet is if the bench press was set up in the studio.

What do you mean, PFT?

It's right here.

It's up.

We were told that by the time we got back in the studio in the new year, it would be set up. We went on vacation.

That's true.

PFT, we tried to set it up.

There's parts missing.

My guy, Mitchell from Mobile, is sending the parts that we need.

But until we have them, we can't finish it.

But it is up.

So you're going to bench 215 once?

Yeah.

What's the most you've ever benched?

I don't know.

What's like 140?

135 would be a plate on each side.

Yeah, so maybe like 150.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Once we have the bench press set up,

there's no reason why I'm not going to be benching every day. Yeah.
No, 215 would finally be to the point where you can pretend that's your warmup and people will respect you. Hell yeah.
All right. So let's go through some of these AWLs.
New Year's resolution was to not get pink eye this year, which I've already failed. Now, you probably had it going in.
You probably had it before. You probably had it in 2019.
The symptoms just didn't show up until 2020. Right? You can't get pink eye twice, can you? Your eye gets immune to shit.
What was the other one we had? I've never known anyone. Oh, mono.
You live every disease. You're like, you can't get it twice.
I don't think I've ever had the same sickness twice. I mean, you've had the flu more than once.
I don't think so. I think my body just, it adapts.
It learns. I'm like the Patriots.
It's tough to beat me twice with the same attack. My New Year's resolution is to be more like Steph Curry and wear my towel over my nips when I get out the shower.
Apparently that's something Steph Curry does. This way, when my balls hang out on my towel below, making me more versatile if there happens to be any Skip Bayless microwaves around to drop them in.
I like that. Wait, so he wears a towel from nips to tip of the dick.
Yeah. Well, longer towels.
So I think he does the whole thing. It's almost like a bathrobe.
I like that. I might start doing that.
I might rock that just for fun. I'll do that, but from my bottom nipples, my bottom pair.
Yeah. I'm going to learn how to juggle this year.
No. It's been my only resolution four years in a row.
I know I have the hand-eye coordination for it. I just never feel like it, but this is the year.
Okay, so the problem with juggle, guys, is when will you break it out where everyone isn't like, fuck you, man. Every time someone juggles, you're like, what? Okay, cool, dude.
Juggling is such a flex move. People run marathons while they're juggling.
Just like rubbing your face. I can actually juggle.
How many things? Three. Three things.
Really good at juggling. Three things, yeah.
You want to know where I learned how to juggle? Yes. Christmas tree story.
All right, here. Take this 25-pound dumbbell.
This is actually kind of an interesting story. On the puppy lot.
No, not on the puppy lot. Yeah, I can juggle these.
He's got three huge lug nuts or whatever. These are going to be tough to do.
You want the story first or you want me to juggle? Juggle it while you're telling the story. I can't do that.
Yo, come on. And no.
And he almost just broke his computer. Let me do it again.

You can juggle.

I know exactly the type of juggle you are. I need three tennis balls.

Three tennis balls.

I got this.

You can juggle for like 10 seconds.

No, if you give me three tennis balls,

I can do it for like two minutes, three minutes.

Okay.

Anyways, I was on a park bench

and there was a guy next to me

that was reading an article

and it said like on the back,

it said how to juggle.

And then when he put it down,

I was like, hey, can I borrow that?

I've always wanted to learn how to juggle. And he gave me this look and he was like, the back it said how to juggle and then when he put it down i was like hey can i borrow that i've always wanted to learn how to juggle and he gave me this look and he was like you want to borrow this i was like yeah i just want to read the article about how to juggle he's like okay and he handed it to me it was a hustler magazine he's just casually just guys being dudes reading hardcore porn on a public so how'd you learn how to juggle so then i jacked off and then my mind was, and I was able to learn how to juggle.
But I can juggle. Yes.
Fuck, I poked the computer. Don't tell Pete.
Okay. Did you actually break it? Slightly.
Hey, boys. My New Year's resolution was to stop getting high as much.
Well, I made it a whole day. I got back to Tuscaloosa, and my buddy brings me a Christmas gift that was an edible from Colorado.
I'm currently stuck in my couch watching the Birmingham Bowl. Happy 2020, boys.
Keep up the good work. Well, first of all, it's delayed, but the Birmingham Bowl is delayed.
But that doesn't count because edibles are not the same as getting high. He actually did break his computer.
Like, he's actually broken. No, it's fine.
It's fine. It was actually when I when i said that earlier i was satire i was doing satire my computer's fine no it's fine no it's fine oh man yeah he's good edibles are fine uh find the civil conflict trophy yes by the way shout out bob diacchio going back to he's at purdue defensive coordinator and week one they're playing Nebraska.
I love it. I love it.
So Scott Frost, you threw an internship on them. Oh, yeah, I set a job.
If you can find and produce the Civil Conflict trophy, I will give you a job. We've got some people that have been trying to track it down.
I think that everybody that I've spoken to has hit a dead end. Yeah.
We got to get... Did you guys see the Cat Killer documentary? No, not yet.
Those people could find it. No, no.
You fuck you. It's come to my attention my hairline is receding hard.
How should I approach this for the new year? My head shape is not optimal for a bald head. You've got to be pro...
It's probably too late, actually too late actually just pick it no you're too late yeah i got alone you should you have to attack it like two years in advance i just pick it yeah or start being a bandana guy bandanas are gonna make a comeback axel rose i tried to bring bandanas back a couple years ago i kind of i forgot about them after a few days but yeah axel rose bandana around your neck michael that i want do. I feel like that's a cool look.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, it makes you... You're probably a Navy SEAL from Afghanistan when you do that.
Yeah, you look French in all the best ways. Right.
If we are in the trust tree, my New Year's resolution is to jerk off less. Oh.
How many times per week should I aim for? And it's still broken. Coming off an edging spree, thanks.
Coming off an edging spree thanks coming off an edging spree let me just see it the person is looking for a guidance into how to stop cranking off I think what you need to do is juggle more just go lefty just go lefty and you'll get frustrated and you can say your resolutions to be ambidextrous work on your. My New Year's resolution is to read my tweets before I send them so that I don't accidentally.
Oh, this guy's being funny. Ha ha.
So that I don't actually tell the Internet that I'm answering resolutions, which are statements and therefore cannot be answered. That guy was just chirping my grammar.
So fuck you. And that's the last one.
Oh, no, there's one more. New Year's resolution has stopped being an avid finger gun guy at the office.

The girl I've been banging last week told me last time she stayed at my place that she's noticed I do it out in public now.

As a first year in the business working world, I have somehow went full dad mode at work.

I love this.

Apparently, it's slowly carrying over to the real world.

I need to slow down the dad transition, the dad-sition that is going up as a football guy.

I love being a finger gun guy.

I don't think that there's anything wrong with being a finger gun guy.

I'm thinking, like, who are the best finger-gun guys of all time? Shooter. Shooter McGavin.
Kind of a dickhead. Yeah, kind of a big dickhead.
Drew Locke is a finger-gun guy. Yep.
Robbie Keene. Yep.
That was his goal-scoring celebration. Just little pistols.
Whip it out.. Oh, Joe Kim Noah used to do it.
And then he actually retired it because of gun violence in Chicago. Oh, he did? I was going to say the only person that can stop a bad finger gun guy is a good finger gun guy.
Yeah. So you need a more alpha finger gun guy than you in your office.
I like this. I think it's always great when like 20-year-olds, 30-year-olds pick up characteristics of of 70-year-olds.
Just a finger gun guy. And if you enjoy it, just live.
Listen, 2020, just be yourself. Actually, no, that doesn't work because that was Matt Nagy's Be You.
2020, be the best you. No hater zone.
Be best. Yeah.
Be the best you. Be the change you want to see in this world.
And try not to... Mahatma Gandhi, PFT.
Try not to break your computer.

2020.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Whoops.

I already used my computer's mic.

Also, if you want to stop jacking off, that's a great way to do it.

Learn to juggle.

Yeah, yeah.

Love you guys.

Bye. I don't know what to say.
I'll say it anyway.

Today is another day to find you.

Shine.

I'll be coming for your love of grief.

Shine.

I'll be coming for your love of grief. Make me.

Make me.

Make me. Take me on me I'll keep on It'll take me on you I'll keep on me So needless to say I won't say it But I'll be somewhere that way So we're learning that life is over Thank you.
Take me down.

Take me down.

Take me down. Take me down.

Take me down.

Things that I say isn't loud.

Just play my world.