Recapping A Wild Week 17 And Bowl Mania

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, week 17. Holy shit, was an awesome day.
Oh my god, we're buzzing because we just came off of the 49er Seahawks game. Week 17 was insane.
A lot of things changed.

Speaker 1 Playoff seating up for grabs, crazy losses, Jameis. We also have college football playoff to get to.
We have a lot to catch up on. Last show of the year, last show of the decade.

Speaker 1 And we're brought to you, as always, by our friends.

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Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 done.

Speaker 1 No paper, and I'll washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elaine Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

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Today is Monday, December 30th,

Speaker 1 week

Speaker 1 17.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What? What?

Speaker 1 One last trip around the sun, boom. Teach.

Speaker 1 Boom. Whoop.

Speaker 1 In Detroit, where the lions were ready to get down with Dave Blau Blau.

Speaker 1 Dave Blau Blau. Ooh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Devontae Adams Sandler had an uncut gem of a game in theaters nationwide.

Speaker 4 Check your local listing.

Speaker 1 A-Ron Jeremy Rogers did his best to fuck the game up in the first half, but laid the pipe in the second.

Speaker 1 And under the cover of the dome, it was an inside job for Aaron Alex Jones as the running back could be heard yelling, they're turning the Alan Lazards gay. I've got all the documents right here.

Speaker 1 Let us be the last to wish you a happy candy galla days as the Packers win 23-20. Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Speaker 1 In Cincinnati, where Sheriff Joe Mixon enforced cruel and unusual punishment by making 30,000 people sit through a Bengals and Browns game.

Speaker 1 And in a touching tribute to a Christmas story, the Bengals took their Red Rider BB gun out for one last quarrel.

Speaker 1 Your kitchen's nightmare is over, Cleveland, as there won't be any nookies under the tree for Freddy Durst's kitchens as he bakered a limp biscuit of a season and the rollin', rolling, rolling, rolling.

Speaker 1 Come out. His ass out of town.
Pangles 33. Browns 23.
In Kansas City, where Anon Micole Smith turned a lot of guys into hard men when he ran back a kick the equivalent of a 104 center polls.

Speaker 1 Phil Collins Rivers tried to tell you no, but his body keeps on telling us yes as he asked for just one more night to throw a couple interceptions.

Speaker 1 Terrell, I don't want no sugs, said don't go chasing waterfalls. He'll stick to sacking the rivers that he's used to.
Chiefs clinch the first round by with a 31-21 win. Kansas City.

Speaker 1 Whoop, whap, whoop.

Speaker 1 In Baltimore, where, as is customary throughout the record books, when these two teams match up, RG3 billboards outside Ebbings, Missouri put out decent film before Oscar season.

Speaker 1 In a crucial moment, Devlin Sonic the Hedgehodges got hit and lost his coins, leading to a Ravens score.

Speaker 1 The Mike Tomlin sanity ran out of the Steelers season, but they still got that stake stake off their September. The Ravens 28, the Steelers.

Speaker 1 They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning.

Speaker 1 No one you see

Speaker 1 is smarter than he.

Speaker 1 And we know Flipper lives in a world full of wonder

Speaker 1 lying there under

Speaker 1 the sea.

Speaker 1 Dolphins 27. New England 24.
In Houston, where AJ McCarron Price should have bought his offensive lineman Rolexes because they gave him no time to pass and all they could do is watch.

Speaker 1 Derek Gagne Henry was all juiced up, rushing for three touchdowns and an amazing 40 time, chugging for two 11 yards.

Speaker 1 Mike Vrabel better have Lorena Bobbitt on speed dial because the Titans are in the playoffs and Vrabel's manhood is on the endangered species list as first reported by Part in My Take via busing with the boys.

Speaker 1 Titans 35, Texans 14. Whoop! Rubblet, doublet, bubblet.

Speaker 1 Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston, Tampa, Florida. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 1 He was stuck at 29 with the game on the line and threw a pick six against 30.

Speaker 1 He's a gamer Don't be ashamed

Speaker 1 If he gets his eyes fixed, it'll be a Hall of Famer Falcons 28 Bucks 22 to Mile High where it was the last game as the Oakland Raiders and Drew sitting on the lock of the bay crashed the party as Deshaun Alexander Hamilton was there to read them their Lynn Manuel Miranda rights.

Speaker 1 Many thought that Hunter Biden Renfro was unqualified to earn his rookie contract, but it turns out it was a perfect call, an absolutely perfect call by Donald Trump Putin.

Speaker 1 Bronco 16, the Las Vegas Raiders.

Speaker 1 15.

Speaker 1 In the Meadowlands, where Howie Roseman showed this holiday season, it's better to give than have receivers. Boston Michael Scott came out of nowhere.

Speaker 4 That's what she said.

Speaker 1 Scoring more than an all-inclusive trip to Sandals, Jamaica. On the defensive side of the ball, Cox got great penetration.

Speaker 4 That's what she said.

Speaker 1 No more. That's what she says, Michael.
And the Eagles stood tough through Saquon Barkley's running. Well, well, well, how the turntables.

Speaker 1 The Eagles are back in the playoffs as a soaking wet Eli looked on disappointed.

Speaker 1 That's what she said. Don't do that again.
Eagles 34. The G-Men 17.
The New York Football Giants. The New York Football Giants.

Speaker 1 We finished in Seattle for the NFC West, where it was Jimmy Garoppolo vs. Marshawn Lynch, the beauty and the beast mode.
Kittles vs. Skittles was an instant classic.

Speaker 1 Travis Homer Simpson and Martin Sean Lynch made for an animated backfield as the Seahawks tried to launch the nuclear locket chip to come back into second half.

Speaker 1 Raheem Dijon Mostert had all the sauce as the 49ers win the West and clinch home field advantage, a place I know well, because a young swamp was there for the catch. Look at all that hair.

Speaker 1 That's your swamp. 49ers, 26.
Seahawks, 21.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Week 17. Holy shit.
That was an awesome, awesome, awesome end to the 2019 regular season.

Speaker 4 It was a great way to end it. And this morning I woke up and it really did hit me for the first time that it was week 17.

Speaker 4 I had done such a good job of compartmentalizing and not allowing myself to realize that this was the official end of football season. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Speaker 4 But then there's nothing like an an awesome game slate on Sunday to totally wipe that off my brain. Now I'm excited for the playoffs.

Speaker 1 And everyone went into this week 17 being like, oh, okay, everyone kind of knows who's in the playoffs. There's a couple of situations.

Speaker 1 You know, the Titans are going to win, so it doesn't really matter. Everything basically went up in smoke in terms of seeding.

Speaker 1 The last game, which we'll start with, was an instant classic out in Seattle. The 49ers hold on.
to get the one seed, which we were sitting here watching it talking about all the implications.

Speaker 1 If the Seahawks win that game, the Packers then have the one seed, the Saints have a buy and the two seed, so they only have to win one game away from home, and everything gets blown up by that last play at the goal line.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, Seahawks, how do you take that delay a game? I actually think...

Speaker 1 Conspiracy theory here that Pete Carroll took the delay a game on purpose because he didn't want to be stuck in a situation where he screwed up on the one-yard line again with Marshawn Lynch back, which that's like that's that game was so good.

Speaker 1 we forgot how awesome it was at Marshawn Lynch's back.

Speaker 4 Yes, and he got that touchdown where he jumped over the line. I think they were going to kill this deck.
Yeah, they were going to give him the ball on the one this time.

Speaker 1 They had to.

Speaker 4 They had to give him the ball this time. So, yeah, Pete Carroll kind of saved himself from himself by backing it up to the six-yard line.

Speaker 4 But then, the very end of the game, well, first of all, before they got there, there was that questionable unnecessary roughness penalty on the Niners that backed them up on their drive. Right.

Speaker 4 There were so many different ball-don't lie situations in this game.

Speaker 4 The ball weaved in a very intricate web of deception throughout the game, so I was not sure if the end of the game was a ball-don't lie, if the pass interference that wasn't called was a ball-don't lie, if the

Speaker 4 Hollister getting tackled at the one and then rotating over to the end zone was a ball-don't.

Speaker 1 I don't know if the ball lied or not.

Speaker 4 I'm pretty sure that it doesn't.

Speaker 1 I think the 49ers were the better team throughout the year. So I think they deserve to win the NFC West, and they deserve to get the one seed.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson with the ball in the fourth quarter, there's nothing like it. He is just an electric factory.
When you watch him,

Speaker 1 I've thrown this out there for a few years now, but in terms of quarterbacks, I want to have the ball at the end of the game. He's my number one.
Yeah. He's my number one.

Speaker 1 Even though they didn't score there, he's still my number one because he did everything to get them to score. I don't know who you blame the delay of game on, but credit to the 49ers for holding on.

Speaker 1 And the odds of their getting to the Super Bowl just drastically change now that they get two home games to get to Miami instead of being the fifth seed and having to finish this game and then immediately fly to Philadelphia and play the Eagles who win the NFC East.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 4 there was a lot at stake at the very end of this game. And Russell Wilson is...

Speaker 4 The great part about Russell is he's mastered all these different weird little nuances in the position of quarterback. So he can slide better than any quarterback.
Yes.

Speaker 4 He's really good at running out of bounds and holding the ball forward to get that extra yard.

Speaker 1 He takes sacks really well. He takes that turtle thing.

Speaker 4 He's great at getting tackled.

Speaker 4 He will slide his head into a defender's knee and draw a hit to the head of the quarterback. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Every single time. He's really, really good at all these weird little parts of the game.

Speaker 4 It was an instant classic, and I feel like all the Seahawks do is play in instant classic games.

Speaker 1 Yes. And honestly,

Speaker 1 not to take anything away from the Seahawks because they are a playoff team and they played a great game.

Speaker 1 But if you're a Seahawks fan, losing that game, now you have to go to Philadelphia and you have to win three games on the road to get to Miami. That feels like a mountain a little too tall to climb.

Speaker 4 It's tough. It's tough.
It's not impossible. I still feel like the Seahawks are one of those teams that if they get healthy on defense, they could beat anybody.
Not a lot of time.

Speaker 1 Not a lot of time. Not a lot of time.

Speaker 4 And they're also one of those teams where you think about them traveling east and it's like, that's early.

Speaker 1 Although they did beat the Eagles earlier in the season in Philadelphia.

Speaker 4 Which I've always wondered this about West Coast fans. For these late night games, you get done with a a game at what 8:30 at night? Do you eat before the game or after the game? No,

Speaker 1 I think they eat during the game.

Speaker 4 They have dinner parties.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they do it during the game, but I guess it would be beneficial to be on the West Coast right now because then you have four hours to

Speaker 1 stay up and be juiced up about that game. Because you're not going to be able to do that.
I don't know. If you're on the East Coast and you're watching that game, you can't go to sleep.

Speaker 1 That was such a great game. We were standing.
I was standing up.

Speaker 1 That's the key to when you know a game is an instant classic.

Speaker 1 When you find yourself just involuntarily standing up in your living room or we're sitting in the studio right now, big plays, I would just get up. Like, why am I standing? I have no idea.

Speaker 1 We're just amps. Football has just made me rise to my feet because I'm so into the moment.

Speaker 4 Football is the best drug known to man.

Speaker 1 This also gets you going.

Speaker 4 And we should give credit to the 49ers too because offensively, the 49ers are a problem.

Speaker 1 For a lot of people.

Speaker 1 The way they run their offense, I know you have your own. No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not what I was going to say.

Speaker 1 No, I wasn't going to say that.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, Kyle Shanahan, you kind of let me down by punting there on fourth and one when your offense is so good and you can get one yard and you're supposed to be the guy. Like,

Speaker 1 there's a little nerd Twitter bot that I follow that does the in-game percentages.

Speaker 1 Their percentage to win the game went down by 19% by punting instead of going for it.

Speaker 4 I thought they should have gone for it. Yeah, he was yelling.
He was so emphatic about saying the punt team out there. It looked like he was thinking about.

Speaker 1 Are you staying Kyle Shanahan in the playoffs?

Speaker 4 Also, at the very end of the game, Kyle, you could have taken a knee. You could have taken that safety for me, giving me the over for the world

Speaker 1 for Al Michaels. For the over for the Seahawks plus three and a half, that was an all-time,

Speaker 1 are they going to take that safety and just like swing every single bet? And then we get Ravel to tweet some stupid, like, oh, this many billions of dollars. Change hands.
Shut up.

Speaker 4 All right. I was upset, though, because I did not get a graphic.
I did not get an example shown on the screen of how loud it is in Seattle.

Speaker 4 Usually they'll compare it. They'll show how loud other things are.
They'll be like, here's the decibel level for the fans in Seattle. Here's what a jet engine sounds like.

Speaker 4 Here's what it sounds like when you're recording a podcast and nobody will clear the air out of the pipes in your studio. Like all these very loud things to compare.

Speaker 4 So I had no idea if it was loud or not.

Speaker 1 I think that they haven't done a story about the Seattle crowd recently enough for people to remember it. The 12s.

Speaker 1 Listen, they're hanging in the rafters. Remember that.
The only team that's ever...

Speaker 1 The only team that's ever.

Speaker 1 they put the they they basically retired.

Speaker 4 They retired no, they did retire the number the number 12.

Speaker 1 That's whatever.

Speaker 4 Didn't Texas A ⁇ M?

Speaker 1 I'm not gonna beat up on Seattle right now because that was a bad loss. That's such a lame move.

Speaker 4 I need an update right now because I'm pretty sure there was some ongoing litigation between Texas AM and Seattle fans for who gets the right to the number 12.

Speaker 1 I think they like Texas AM like leased it to them.

Speaker 4 They franchised it.

Speaker 1 They own the number 12.

Speaker 4 Yes. And you can pay them a rate to use it.

Speaker 1 What I was going to say, though, is I facetiously tweeted out like, is it always this loud in Seattle? And a lot of people were like, yeah, dude, it's always this loud.

Speaker 1 That was clearly a joke because for, I think what's happened is there was that run. It was probably like right when the Beastquake happened until they won a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Every time Seattle played in a primetime game, the lead story was, man, these fans are loud. They haven't done that.
I think, you know what? I'm going to blame Rick Riley.

Speaker 1 Rick Riley, not having his little, you know, two-minute spot on Monday night football has ruined our awareness of the Seattle crowd being the loudest in the NFL.

Speaker 4 Whether or not it's loud. Rick Riley did have a heater, though.
He said, I haven't seen a red zone mismanage that badly since I got that parking ticket at DIA.

Speaker 4 So DIA, you might wonder what that is. That's the Denver International Airport.
Yep. Where Rick apparently...

Speaker 4 Yeah, so Rick is like throwing some little red meat out there to all the conspiracy nuts.

Speaker 4 But that was very timely on his part. But what I was going to say about the 49ers offense, it's so tough to defend because all their plays look the same same

Speaker 4 when they're lining up to run them. But they could run a trap.
They could run a seam to Kittle. They use him as a blocker.
They use, basically, throw it to the

Speaker 1 fullback down the field.

Speaker 4 Him and Juice, it's like you don't know if they're going to hit you from the side or if they're going to release on a wheel route. It's like impossible.

Speaker 4 And then even when they run the ball, it almost feels more creative the way that they run the ball than the way that they pass it. It's like

Speaker 4 who's the guy on Twitter, Pitching Ninja? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That shows you, okay, here's the delivery on this guy's fourth seam fastball and here's his delivery on a curveball and he overlays it at the same time you could do that exact same thing and overlay the San Francisco offense and it would end up with two completely different players Kyle Shanahan has made running the ball sexy again like it's it's it's become an air league it's become a passing league everyone's breaking every single record but he has made it sexy and that's why I'm more disappointed than I would be with any other team when the 49ers have basically a chance to ice the game by getting one yard and that's my only concern Kyle Shanahan, don't start seeing ghosts, man.

Speaker 1 You're a good coach. You're a really fucking good coach.
You have a really good team. You're the one seed.
Don't start seeing ghosts out there. A little Super Bowl passed, all that shit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, he's overcorrected from the Super Bowl pass. Now he runs the ball more often and passes it less than he should sometimes.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go to, we're going to do all the games.

Speaker 4 Can I bring up one last thing about the broadcast? Well, actually, there are two things I'm going to miss about Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football coming to us.

Speaker 1 Well, we get Sunday Night Football.

Speaker 4 We do get it, but it's not the same.

Speaker 4 Please give me the Monday Night Football Saturday edition graphic. Yeah.
I would appreciate that.

Speaker 4 I'm going to miss the ongoing computer graphics battles between the Sunday Night Football crew and the Monday Night Football crew when they put up those weird little animation sequences in the middle of games, which, by the way, ESPN totally kicks this shit.

Speaker 4 Oh, they kill it. It's like Virgin Sunday Night Football, Chad Monday Night Football graphics practices.
I'm going to miss that. The second thing is Al and Chris brought back the quarter zip.

Speaker 4 One was wearing a Cardigan. the other guy was wearing like a golf quarter zip.
They looked like two gay parents who were upset at the lifestyle choice of their heterosexual son.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
They were just, they were very ashamed.

Speaker 4 Okay. How do I tell your father?

Speaker 1 He's not.

Speaker 1 I love the broadcast, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Should we get into the whole story?

Speaker 4 Did that not make sense? I feel like

Speaker 1 it made sense. It was, yeah, it made sense.
I just see them wearing. Yeah, you're wearing a sword.
No,

Speaker 1 I just see them wearing sweaters.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I look at them.

Speaker 1 I just see them wearing sweaters. I'm like, yeah, they're white guys in their 50s.
Of course, they're wearing sweaters. That's what every white guy in his 50s wears.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I'd like to see a suit.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do the whole slate of games. Some games we'll skip over pretty quickly, but some we got to focus on.

Speaker 1 And you'd think that we were going to start with the Patriots somehow losing to the Dolphins, but they actually got upstaged by the game of the one o'clock hour.

Speaker 1 And that was the one and only Jameis Winston with the walk-off pick six to get his 30th interception of the year. The first, the only member of the 30-30 club, 30 touchdowns, 30 interceptions.

Speaker 1 Let's start with actually where Bruce Arion said after the game. In evaluating Jameis' future with the team, he said, there's so much good and so much outright terrible.
Yep.

Speaker 1 That perfectly sums up Jameis Winston.

Speaker 4 That's Jameis Winston in a nutshell right there.

Speaker 1 I love him.

Speaker 4 And not only was it a walk-off pick six for the 30 interception mark, it also hit the over. Yes.
So it was like a play perfectly designed for us.

Speaker 4 I feel like the football gods were beaming that directly into our ears and our eyes.

Speaker 1 It was incredible. And Jameis Winston, we've been on this all year.
This has been a storyline all year that he is comically the funniest quarterback to ever grace God's Earth.

Speaker 1 And he is now in the record books. He also is the good.
He's the eighth quarterback all time to throw for over 5,000 yards in a season.

Speaker 4 Which he also got in this game. Which he also got in this game.
It was a milestone game for Jameis.

Speaker 1 It was incredible.

Speaker 4 Jameis could have, it was like Ted Williams when he hit 400. Jameis could have sat out that overtime and not given us that 30th interception, but he wanted to give the fans what they came there for.

Speaker 1 It was to a linebacker. He has linebacker blindness.
He also said after the game in an awesome Jameis press conference, he said, if you look at my numbers, I'm balling.

Speaker 1 I got to stop giving the ball to the other team. If I eliminate those, I'm going to be the best.
You better check the sheet. I'm going to be the best.

Speaker 4 That's true.

Speaker 1 It is. If he doesn't throw interceptions, he would be the MVP.

Speaker 1 If he threw no interceptions this year, he would have been the MVP.

Speaker 4 But if he threw no interceptions, he wouldn't be Jameis. And that's why we love him.
And he says that he wants $30 million a year. Should.

Speaker 4 I actually think that as far as entertainment value goes, his worth for the NFL is worth well over. $30 million a year because of what he delivers to the fans.

Speaker 4 If he doesn't get $30 million, I will pitch in. I will help Jameis get up there to that point because he's worth every penny.

Speaker 1 I pray, you know, when you get the bump from a team does well and

Speaker 1 they get the primetime bump? Like the Bears had it this year. They played, whatever, five, six primetime games because they were good last year.
Please give Jameis the bump.

Speaker 1 Please give Jameis the bump so we can see him in Sunday night and Monday night all next year.

Speaker 1 Like when the schedule makers are trying to figure out how to get a good matchup in week 12, just throw Jameis in there.

Speaker 1 Because he, no matter who he plays, he could play no one, and it would be pure entertainment.

Speaker 4 Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, I agree 100%.
Jameis needs to be featured more. He is probably my favorite quarterback to watch play.
Yes. I don't think that there's even a close second.

Speaker 4 I mean, maybe Lamar or Pat Mahomes when they're at the FCC.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but they're like good quarterbacks.

Speaker 4 But if they're

Speaker 4 funny. Yeah, you're just like, oh my God, that was an amazing throw.

Speaker 4 You don't get the slapstick of Jameis going out in overtime against the Falcons, squinting and having an anvil fall on his head and have his lineman use a spatula to pick him up off the ground.

Speaker 4 I can't.

Speaker 1 He's a cartoon character.

Speaker 4 Jameis Winston is a cartoon character. And if I'm Bruce Arians, I don't know that I want to fix his sight.

Speaker 4 I think, as far as it goes, first of all, I don't think that Bruce Arians believes in LASIC eye surgery. No.

Speaker 4 I think he'll probably just tell Jameis to go stare directly at the sun for a couple hours every day. And hopefully that'll, the sun's rays, Ray Baker, will be his eye surgeon

Speaker 4 and help correct some of that. No, but Jameis, like, just think about it.

Speaker 1 He was, we talked about the 30 interceptions all year, and we get to overtime. Shout out to An Quinn for a meaningless game, kicking a field goal to tie it up.

Speaker 1 We get to overtime, and he does it. A pick six to end it.
And here's even more poetic justice. Jameis Winston, so we don't know what's going to happen with him.

Speaker 1 I assume the Bucs are going to bring him back, at least maybe franchise tag him, whatever it may happen. But let's just say Jameis Winston is a free agent and goes somewhere else.

Speaker 1 Jameis Winston, the first pass he ever threw for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, a pick six. A pick six, week one, 2015 against the Titans.

Speaker 1 His last pass for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, a pick six, week 17, 2019 against the Atlanta Falcons. That is so fucking poetic.

Speaker 1 So I actually am rooting for him to not be on the Bucs next year, just so we can be like, look at that.

Speaker 4 It would be a great ending to a great one for the Bears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you really?

Speaker 4 Yes. I think you say that.
No, I do.

Speaker 1 You say that, but I think

Speaker 1 your attitude

Speaker 1 would change a little bit. No, they're always going to stink.

Speaker 4 Not being able to laugh at him, but having people laugh

Speaker 4 for him.

Speaker 1 PFD, we're going to get to this, but Carson Wentz threw for 4,000 yards. First time an Eagles quarterback has ever thrown for 4,000 yards.

Speaker 1 There's only one team left that has not had a 4,000-yard passer. It's the Chicago Bears.
So I want Jameis Wentz. Well, yeah, he's definitely going to get to 4,000.
I want Jameis Wentz.

Speaker 4 I was trying to figure out earlier this week who the leading tackler on the Bucs offense is this year.

Speaker 1 Ooh, great question.

Speaker 4 It's not Jameis because he stinks at tackling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Because he can't see the guy after he throws the ball to him.

Speaker 1 Although seven of them, so 30 interceptions, seven of them weren't tackled.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
So that hurts his stats a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I would say Phillip Rivers is actually really good at throwing interceptions that get tackled afterwards.

Speaker 1 Cameron Brady.

Speaker 4 Cameron Bray. I was going to say Mike Evans because he's fast, he's big.
Yeah. He usually chases a guy down from behind.
But that's

Speaker 1 a lot of the picks are to the linebackers.

Speaker 4 Right, so a tight end.

Speaker 1 Someone give us that stat.

Speaker 4 Who's the leading tackler on the Bucs offense? Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 Last thing about this game, because we should just quickly talk about the Falcons.

Speaker 1 They are perfectly, perfectly placed to be one of the dark horse teams in 2020 because they finished the season on a high note they go seven and nine after a terrible start they keep dan quinn they keep dimitrioff this will definitely be the you'll be sitting september 2020 or 2020 and you'll be watching the fox pregame and someone probably

Speaker 1 uh strahen will probably say you know which team i really got my eye on the atlanta falcons hey they've got all the talent they've got all the talent they've got great receivers yes yes All right.

Speaker 1 So, oh, we didn't even mention, too, the Falcons had the longest touchdown by a player weighing at least 300 pounds in NFL history.

Speaker 4 That was pretty sick. The tackle eligible, which wasn't covered at all.
Yes. And as Danny Kelly pointed out, that guy

Speaker 4 looks like me, but like a bigger. He looks like if I ate you.
Yes. And if you put a picture up.
Oh, my God. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 It's hilarious.

Speaker 4 What was the guy's name?

Speaker 1 Ty Sambrello.

Speaker 4 Ty Sambrello, immediately my favorite tight end in the NFL, even though he's a tackle.

Speaker 1 And Jameis one of one had one stat for us. 12 times a quarterback has thrown 30 interceptions in the NFL.
None of those 12 times has the quarterback also thrown 30 touchdowns in that season.

Speaker 1 There you go. So

Speaker 1 Jameis is the greatest of all time. Yes, he is.
Jameis 1 of 1.

Speaker 4 He's fucking nuts and he's hilarious, and I love him.

Speaker 1 He actually is the answer, and we're going to get to the Phil Rivers later, but he is the answer to losing our heroes, Eli, Phil Rivers, Ben Rothsberger.

Speaker 1 If Jameis can be in the NFL for another decade, he will be the, he will, the torch has been passed to our hilarious quarterbacks we can make fun of.

Speaker 1 He's almost, he's almost actually, if you like, threw all three of those guys into, you know, you have like the Rothelsberger. You've got the allegations.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You've got the Phillip Rivers. You've got the interceptions.

Speaker 1 You've got the Squinton, Eli Manning, dumbface. It's all kind of perfect.
Yeah. The Phil Rivers god.
Like he really is just mashing all three of those guys together. You get Jameis West.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's designed in a lab to be just our perfect person for us. Our special little boy.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do the next big game.
The Patriots Dolphins.

Speaker 4 I'm still shocked that the Patriots lost this game.

Speaker 1 I'm not. Tom Brady at home versus AFC teams that finished with a losing record before this game was 61-0.
61-0. That's insane.

Speaker 1 He never had lost to an AFC team that had a losing record at the end of the year. The Dolphins stunned him.
I don't even know.

Speaker 4 How are you not shocked?

Speaker 1 I know it's the Ryan Fitzpatrick part. Ryan Fitzpatrick was here.

Speaker 4 So here's Fitzmagic.

Speaker 4 We were due for Fitzmagic. We hadn't gotten full Fitzmagic this year yet, and this game was what you get.
You get one incredible performance.

Speaker 4 You get one thing that shocks the world every season out of Ryan Fitzpatrick. This was it.
Also, if you look at who the Dolphins played last week, it was the Bengals.

Speaker 4 So the Patriots weren't able to scout the Bengals properly because of the last time they tried to do that. So they didn't have all the intel down on the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 But here's where it was shocking to me. It was the Patriots' offense has been bad or mediocre, whatever you want to call it, all year.

Speaker 1 So you kind of expected them to not, you know, be able to win a shootout. The Patriots' defense has been great all year.
Stephon Gilmore was the defensive player of the year up until today.

Speaker 1 He probably lost it today because Devontae Parker went off, and it wasn't all to him.

Speaker 1 But that part, like, you don't see a Bill Belichick team come out flat for a game that they should be able to roll.

Speaker 1 You're probably thinking right now, where's Hank? He's not here. He is on vacation yet again.

Speaker 4 Well-earned vacation.

Speaker 1 Should we call him? Yeah, let's call him a call.

Speaker 4 See what he's up to. See where the panic button is right now.

Speaker 1 He's probably... Oh!

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 4 Hey, what's up, Hank?

Speaker 1 What's up? Hey, hey.

Speaker 4 How's your vacation?

Speaker 4 What? How's your vacation?

Speaker 6 It's going well. It's going well.
You know,

Speaker 6 we had a tough day today. We put some things in the past.
We're on 2020.

Speaker 4 Wait, do you mean, like, on your vacation? You had a tough day, or was there something else that happened?

Speaker 6 Well, on the you know, on the slopes, I was skiing, I fell a couple times, I had a couple of bumps and bruises, and then I got off. You know,

Speaker 1 Patriots lost the game. Oh, oh, we weren't even calling about that, we were just calling to see how your vacation is.
I actually have a SeatGeek question for you, Hank. Oh, Seek Geek, promo code take.

Speaker 1 You can go to the Patriots wildcard round next Saturday with SeatGeek, promo code take. You get $10 off.

Speaker 1 My question to you is, where's the panic button?

Speaker 1 Panic button's out.

Speaker 6 I mean, the panic button,

Speaker 6 panic button's firmly out, ready to get pressed.

Speaker 6 It's out.

Speaker 1 It's fully out.

Speaker 4 Are you worried at all about the Titans, or do you think that you're going to win this one and then the next game, the wheels are going to fall off?

Speaker 6 No, I'm worried about the Titans. I mean, clearly, Brian Florey's Belichick disciple.
He beat us today. Mike Raple, another Belichick disciple.
He's coming in next week. I'm concerned.

Speaker 6 I'm very worried. Annie buttons out.

Speaker 1 It's tough times. Yeah, last question, or maybe not even a question, more of a statement.
Want your thoughts.

Speaker 1 Turnover differential in this game. Minus two.
Patriots didn't get any turnovers. They turned the ball over twice.
Thoughts. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Defensive player of the year candidate did the exact opposite of what you would hope for him to do. Defense didn't play great.
Fitzmagic. Just tore us up.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's a tough one to swallow for sure.

Speaker 4 Do you feel at all responsible for the Dolphins beating the Patriots because of the very vulgar Dolphin sound effects that you put into our last fastest two minutes?

Speaker 6 I mean, it's honestly like it's the biggest catch-22 of the entire season. It's fucked up.
Say something nice about the Dolphins. I have nothing nice to say about them.

Speaker 1 They ruined my vacation.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. All right.
Well,

Speaker 1 you still have three days more of of your vacation, so I'm sure you'll rebound.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you probably have another vacation before the new year. So you got to squeeze out all those days.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Okay.
All right. Well, we'll talk to you later, man.
We still got like two more hours of the show to go. Bye, Hank.
All right.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Okay, I love you too.

Speaker 4 Hank. I'm sorry again for last year.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. That's tough.

Speaker 4 That is very, very tough. So I just want to take a quick victory lap here for accurately predicting that the Dolphins were going to beat the Patriots in week 17.

Speaker 4 And they finished the season with five wins. Which wasn't your seven.
But I went back, looked at their schedule. They lost by one point to the Jets.
Wait, but that's still.

Speaker 4 Let me finish. One point to the Jets, one point to the R words, and only 49 to the Ravens.
They could have very easily been 8-8.

Speaker 4 They could have been 8-8, and looking at possibly, they could have been in the hunt.

Speaker 1 Seven wins fell short. Too short.

Speaker 4 Also, did you guys see the story that the Patriots?

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Patriots.

Speaker 1 That was me. That was me.
That was me. I came out.

Speaker 1 am sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I am sorry.

Speaker 4 Five foot seven and nine.

Speaker 1 That's that's me and the in the dolphins. Uh

Speaker 4 the patriots they lent their plane to Navy. Did you see that? So the Navy, I guess Navy doesn't have any planes.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 just boats or shit.

Speaker 4 Bob Kraft gave them their plane.

Speaker 4 I don't know if the Patriots got to fly on their normal plane over the course of the last week for any unexpected trips or whatever, but that's kind of a that's tough when you're when your owner is giving out your plane to a branch of the armed forces.

Speaker 4 Yeah. The Navy is using the Patriots as their own personal Uber.
So that's tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's crazy how different the playoffs look now. Because the Patriots have to play the Titans on Saturday night.
And

Speaker 1 we disagree on this. And we'll do a big playoff preview, by the way.
We're going to have a new show Thursday night. So we'll release it early.

Speaker 1 But we'll have a new show previewing the entire playoffs and everything and talking about the bowl games on Wednesday. We're not going to have a show on Thursday morning.
But

Speaker 1 I feel like the Patriots are going to roll the Titans and everyone's going to buy back in and then they're going to lose to the Chiefs.

Speaker 4 I don't think so. I think the Titans take it.

Speaker 4 Is this the end of the Patriots' dynasty? Let me put on my Max Kellerman hat real quick. Do it.

Speaker 4 Tom Brady is the GOAT, but I think Travis Henry or Derrick Henry, excuse me, is the boat running back.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 1 All right. Speaking of the team that took their buy, so the Chiefs, the Chiefs beat the Chargers, which I think we we all went into this game assuming that the Patriots were going to win.

Speaker 1 So this game didn't really mean anything. The Chiefs were going to be the three seed no matter what.
Turns out not.

Speaker 1 I actually

Speaker 1 had a thought. I like to put myself in

Speaker 1 the mindset of other fan bases during games. So as they were playing, the Patriots score and the fans were going crazy.

Speaker 1 I feel like that was the best post-game tailgate you could ever have, given, obviously, a playoff win is probably going to be better, but given the fact that this isn't a real week of of work, Wednesday is a day off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You have the one o'clock game, noon in Kansas City.

Speaker 1 You not only beat the Chargers, but you get the two seed and the buy, and then you get to go basically watch the rest of week 17 in the back of your pickup and stand there and talk about how awesome the game was.

Speaker 1 That was Nirvana.

Speaker 4 It's two wins at once.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got a double win, and I think they're going to really enjoy that until Saturday and Sunday come around, and they're going to be like, I kind of wish the Chiefs were playing.

Speaker 4 They're going to miss watching their Chiefs play in Kansas City. How about Kevin Harlan doing the play-by-play for both games?

Speaker 4 That was like when Alicia Keys played two pianos at the same time at the Grammy Awards. Yes.
Kevin Harlan going back and forth between each live update, and then the crowd.

Speaker 4 It reminded me, you remember when John Cena announced that the U.S. killed Osama bin Laden at WrestleMania or whatever that was?

Speaker 4 That's what it reminded me of seeing all the fans like whispering the scores to each other and going like progressively more insane and getting so amped up and into it.

Speaker 1 And he, Kevin Harlan, I actually was thinking about this because

Speaker 1 he does the radio calls. He doesn't do TV for the NFL because I think so.

Speaker 1 Week 17, they need everyone, all hands on deck, because all the games are going on at once. I'm pretty sure he doesn't call it.
I'm pretty sure he does the radio.

Speaker 4 Well, he definitely called the Black Cat.

Speaker 1 Remember that?

Speaker 4 The Black Cat is the first time.

Speaker 1 That was radio. Okay.
Yeah, so that was radio.

Speaker 4 Because that was a Monday night game.

Speaker 1 Got it. So

Speaker 1 he should be on TV. Absolutely.
Like, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 When he was calling me Cole Hardman's run back, I kind of stopped in my tracks. I was like, fuck, Kevin Harlan is, he honestly might be my favorite play-by-play, like all sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the only thing that sucks about Kevin Harlan is I just hear his voice and I say, oh no, he's down, he's down, he's holding his knee. It's Derrick Rose over and over.

Speaker 1 But all that aside, and Sam Decker's father-in-law. That's true.
So

Speaker 5 shout out Kevin Harlan. You mean Olivia?

Speaker 1 Harlan Decker's father. Father.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Olivia Harlan Decker's

Speaker 4 husband's wife's father. Father.

Speaker 1 He really is, though. We should have him.

Speaker 4 Why isn't isn't he?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to talk about another man's job. No, we don't do that.
He should be the Monday night.

Speaker 4 He should be. I like that call that he had on the run back, too, because he almost cussed when he was doing it.

Speaker 4 And I always love an announcer catching themselves from saying, holy shit, live, because that's what everybody else is saying. Why do we have those rules, by the way?

Speaker 4 I feel like that should be like a free zone.

Speaker 4 Announcers should be allowed to break the FCC rules on vulgarity. I agree.

Speaker 4 Al Michaels should be like, holy fucking shit, why did Kyle Shanahan not take a knee in the end zone? Every goddamn person in America had to fucking over, you piece of shit.

Speaker 1 The only problem with that, I agree with you. The only problem with that is we might get into that dicey territory.

Speaker 1 Whenever you see like someone go from leave ESPN, and they're like, I can swear now, you know, restrictor plates off. Then they overdo it.
I'm going to go crazy. Yeah.
Like,

Speaker 1 you thought I was a bad boy at ESPN. Wait till you hear me now.
And then they overdo it. You're like, this is weird.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got Joe Tessator dropping C-bombs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't need that.

Speaker 1 Phil Rivers.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So, well, some good news about Phil Rivers.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Yeah. After the game, Philip Rivers said retirement is not really an option.

Speaker 1 He has too many kids.

Speaker 4 Yeah, exactly. He would consider playing for a team other than the Chargers if they don't bring him back.
I don't blame him. You've got nine kids.
You probably don't want to be hanging

Speaker 4 around your family that often. So I think we're going to get Phillip Rivers in the NFL next year.

Speaker 4 Now, what I'm doing in my own head is trying to conjure a way to not have Joe Burrow play in Cincinnati.

Speaker 4 And I'm thinking

Speaker 4 he would fit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he would fit.

Speaker 1 Because you could just see

Speaker 1 Phillip Rivers

Speaker 1 for the Bengals.

Speaker 4 You could see Philip. What if it was Phillip Rivers and Joey Bosa? That's the Bosa, right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Phillip Rivers and Joey Bosa traded plus their first-round pick to the Bengals for their first overall pick.

Speaker 1 You don't see the washed-up,

Speaker 1 like 40-year-old quarterback traded for the number one overall very often.

Speaker 4 But Phillip Rivers is worth it.

Speaker 4 I mean, like Jameis Winston, the entertainment factor that you get from Philip Rivers, when he was like, he, I wanted to picture Philip Rivers cussing at the guy on the Chiefs when he, I think it was Chris Jones, and he was like, trying to drive a little bit.

Speaker 1 He did a little punch. It was the cutest little punch.
He did a little peanut punch. He's like, I want to punch this guy.
Ah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he did the like when you get your friend two for punching, but you feel bad. Uh-huh.
And he was like, I'll just hit him lightly. He did that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the little punch buggy. It was so cute.
It was a punch buggy when your mom's in the car.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like, mom, I don't want to hit you, but I have to.

Speaker 4 Oh, I was saying

Speaker 1 your friend while your mom's in the car. No, you got to give your mom a human.

Speaker 4 You punched your mom. You're a little slug in the arm.

Speaker 1 You hit your your mom. I mean, if it's a punch buggy.
Okay. You have to.
Weird.

Speaker 4 Or if she looks.

Speaker 4 My next question is: what happens now for the Kansas City Chiefs fans? Because you owe Ryan Fitzpatrick a gift. You remember a couple years ago when Andy Dalton got the bills into the playoffs?

Speaker 4 You owe Ryan Fitzpatrick a gift. I don't know.
Do you start a scholarship at Harvard for the quarterback with the sickest beard coming out of college or out of high school?

Speaker 1 Maybe buy everyone in America Rubik's Cube.

Speaker 4 There you go. Come on, Chiefs fans.
That's perfect. That's only, what, 300 million people times.
How much does Rubik's Cube cost?

Speaker 1 Did you ever get yours, Bubba? Did you ever do it? Nope, quit. You were working on it for like two months.
2020. Damn, 2020.
So just

Speaker 4 Rubik's Cube. Raise a billion dollars, Chiefs.

Speaker 1 That works.

Speaker 1 Phil Rivers in his post-game was teary-eyed. I was emotional watching it.
He said, I can say I gave it everything I had, and maybe it means an interception on fourth and 18, down 10. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we know.

Speaker 1 Because I don't don't care that it's going to say two interceptions. Yeah, we know.

Speaker 1 And he said, I ain't quitting doing it with so many guys over 14 years and going into the locker room win or lose. Dang

Speaker 4 Don Gummet.

Speaker 1 Gamut.

Speaker 1 Dad Gummet. Dad Gammett.

Speaker 4 Dad Gummett. I wrote it down wrong.
Dad Gummett. Dad Gummit, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dad Gummit, but shoot, I couldn't have tried any harder. Yep.
Put that audio in, actually. I'll send it to you, Liam.
Put that in. Let's play it right now.

Speaker 7 I think it's that I can say I gave it up everything I had. I mean, every week, you know, so, you know, and maybe it means an interception on fourth and 18 when you're down 10.
Because I don't care

Speaker 7 that it's going to say two interceptions, you know, I really don't. It's just like I ain't quitting.
So I think that, I think, I think that, that

Speaker 7 doing it with so many guys over, you know, 14 years and going to the locker room, win or lose, and I can say, gummet. We're short.

Speaker 7 We fell short, but, or we won, you know,

Speaker 7 but shoot, I couldn't try it any harder.

Speaker 4 That's better than Lou Gehrig's speech. Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 I was like, watching it, I got a little teary-eyed.

Speaker 4 Watching your favorite athletes break down in tears, talking about how cool their interceptions were, is it's so awesome to experience as a fan.

Speaker 1 The fact that he just admits, like, fourth and 18, I don't care. Yeah, we know.
We know. You didn't have to tell us.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't care that I threw two interceptions. Yeah.
And the fact that he tossed in, like, that I was down 10 points throwing an interception.

Speaker 1 It's like, fourth and 18. Yeah, Philip.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you watch a game film every day.

Speaker 1 I I actually saw this tweet. I can't remember.
I'm sorry, whoever tweeted it. I apologize.
I didn't write it down.

Speaker 1 But if you flipped, like you were talking about with the Dolphins, if you flipped one score games and you just changed all the standings, every one-score game, if you just flip the result, the Chargers would be 12-4, which is so perfect.

Speaker 1 That's great. So perfectly Chargers.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, Philip Rivers is a great quarterback to have on your team if you're trying to tank because you'll be, he's like feisty enough to be competitive.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So he accomplishes as a one-man wreck-in-crew what the entire Bengals organization did this year, which is like remain competitive, but don't win any of the games that are going to sacrifice your draft business.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 4 He just had too much talent on his team, so he ended up with what, five wins, four wins?

Speaker 1 I think they won five games.

Speaker 4 Five games, yeah.

Speaker 1 They might have won six, actually. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Just a perfect Phil Rivers season through and through. Like everything he did, just, oh, man.

Speaker 1 He can't retire. He's not going to retire.
Retirement's not an option. Thank God.

Speaker 1 All right. Packers Lions.
The Chargers won five games. Packers-Lions.

Speaker 1 I don't think Aaron Rodgers likes playing football.

Speaker 4 You want to know what I had highlighted here as my big question of the day? Yeah. Does Aaron Rodgers love football?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 He has the worst body language I've ever seen. And I know I'm obviously biased, and I know Packers fans will be like, shut up, big cat.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 But deep down, you have to ask yourself, is something up? Because he looks miserable playing football. The first half, he was missing wide open guys.

Speaker 1 He was throwing guys too long, too short, all over the place. So I have two theories.
You can tell me, PFT, which one you want to hear, one or two?

Speaker 4 We'll open up the boat. Let's go two.

Speaker 1 Okay, I think Danica's crystals have him fucked up. Okay, yeah, that's fair.

Speaker 1 That was my theory. My theory.
Danica's got the crystals all fucked up.

Speaker 4 My theory was just that he's being held hostage. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I used to say that he looked like he was on a bad date when he was next to Matt LaFleur, and they'd just be staring straight forward next to each each other.

Speaker 4 I actually think that he's being held hostage by somebody in Green Bay.

Speaker 1 My other theory is that he is intimidated by Danica's celebrity and you saw that they bought like a $30 million mansion straight cash.

Speaker 4 And a boo.

Speaker 1 That is, that's a classic like you're doing that to impress your girlfriend. You know, like you, I mean, everyone's been there.
You're like, fine, I'll buy this $30 million.

Speaker 1 you know, mansion because I want you to think I'm a baller.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if you're dating somebody that's not a rich celebrity, I think you probably just end up buying a $10 million.

Speaker 4 But you have to step it up because Danica is used to a certain lifestyle. Right.
And you have to show off to her that you're worth it.

Speaker 1 It's basically the common man

Speaker 1 move of taking a girl you maybe have seen like once or twice out to a really fancy steak dinner or nice dinner and then putting it all on your credit card because you can't actually afford it.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 1 So like that's what he is with a $30 million mansion.

Speaker 4 So the question, I think there's another question we have to ask, dovetailing off that, is Aaron Rodgers broke?

Speaker 4 Is that maybe why he's upset? Because he's spent all his money trying to entertain Danica all the time. Can't keep up.
I think Aaron Rodgers is upset because he's worried about bills.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 4 he would be the most hilarious, unexpected athlete to end up on the 30 for 30 broke.

Speaker 1 Yes, he would.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 In all seriousness, he does not look happy. And I know that that really doesn't mean a lot, but something seems off.
And half the time, he makes throws where I think he's trying to look cool.

Speaker 1 It looks like he's Funko Rico, like just getting in the backyard and being like, here, I can sling this. And

Speaker 1 all his footwork and everything gets fucked up because he's just basically trying to look as casual as possible.

Speaker 4 Well, when I first noticed that Rodgers was starting to decline a little bit a couple years ago, he stopped doing those back shoulder throws that he was so good at all the time.

Speaker 4 He would be good for maybe four or five of those a game, which were unguardable. Like to Jordi Nelson.
He'd hit him for 30 yards down the field and you couldn't stop it.

Speaker 4 Now, his under throws are unintentional. So he's actually throwing into the defender that's trailing his wide receiver.
So, yeah, I don't know what's going on. He looks like,

Speaker 4 yeah, I'm going to go with the fact that he's broke because if you remember, over the last couple years, all we ever talked about with Aaron Rodgers was what he would always mention his next contract.

Speaker 4 Right. Right.
He would talk about how much money he's going to get paid when he sees a guy out there.

Speaker 4 I don't know who the one, maybe it was Russell Wilson that got paid right before him. Yes.
But every time a quarterback got paid, Aaron Rodgers would always say something. It's all coming together.

Speaker 4 Hold on.

Speaker 1 Aaron, one more thing. I got one more thing for you.
The Packers just did the move. And of course, you're going to tell me, oh, big cat, it's a salary cap maneuver.

Speaker 1 They just converted some of his next year's salary into signing bonus. He's like, yo, I need the cash right now.

Speaker 4 He's like, I need an advance.

Speaker 1 Yes. Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 4 He's going to be doing commercials for J.G. Winter.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I have a structured settlement, and I need cash now. Coles, call up Aaron Rodgers.
He will do as many commercials as you want.

Speaker 4 He's been doing more commercials.

Speaker 1 Listen. Yeah, he's broke.
Fuck.

Speaker 4 Aaron, if you need some cash, I'm your owner. I can make something happen.
We can grease the wheels a little bit.

Speaker 1 As for this game,

Speaker 1 the Packers looked terrible in the first half. They obviously came back and won.

Speaker 1 They're not good, but they're going to fucking go to the Super Bowl. I just feel it in my bones.
I just know it.

Speaker 1 I know they don't have the one seat anymore, but they're going to win ugly games, and I'm going to sit there screaming. We're going to be in Miami and be like, the Packers are not good.

Speaker 1 And a bunch of Packers fans are going to be at our live radio shows just screaming at me. I'm like, you guys aren't good.
Just admit it. And then they're going to somehow.

Speaker 1 All I'm hoping for now is that the Packers lose by 50 to the Ravens of the Super Bowl. That's really all I have left.

Speaker 4 I also think that there's a chance Aaron Rodgers might be a witch because every time he comes up with those little end-of-season sayings, it always works. So he says, run the table.

Speaker 4 When he invents that, they run the table. When he says R-E-L-A-X, he invents the word relax.
His team relaxes and they end up winning.

Speaker 4 This year, he said, we have to win ugly, and that's all that they've done. They've won extremely ugly.

Speaker 1 A beard that is making him look like he's Will Farrell in Anchorman when he got fired. Like, he looks.

Speaker 4 He's in a glass case of ammo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he doesn't look healthy. I'm going to say it.
Agreed.

Speaker 4 He looks like he has scurvy a little bit.

Speaker 1 But whatever. The Packers are 11-3.
They're the two-seed. I know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm a hater. I get it.
Whatever. You guys are going to go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 I've resigned myself to that fact.

Speaker 1 I just know it. You're going to go to Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 They're 13 and 3.

Speaker 1 But they're San Francisco.

Speaker 4 They count the ugly wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're going to go to San Francisco, who they got absolutely pasted by whatever it was two months ago, and they're going to win.

Speaker 4 The Chargers beat them in California.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to win 17-16 against the 49ers. Somehow.
Somehow, it's going to happen. They're going to win 17-16.

Speaker 4 I think it could happen.

Speaker 1 If that happens, then Aaron Rodgers, you owe me $2 million that you don't have.

Speaker 4 Now, if it was going through Lambeau, then I would say that it's very likely that the Packers make the Super Rules.

Speaker 1 No, this is what they want you to think.

Speaker 4 No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you would have been on the other side if the the Packers had gotten the outside.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 As soon as

Speaker 1 the 49ers won, I was like, oh, sigh of relief. The Packers don't have the one seed.

Speaker 1 And then I realized that's exactly in line with everything they've done this season, where you're like, oh, that's it. It's over.

Speaker 1 They got to go on the road to win the NFC Championship game, and they'll fucking do it.

Speaker 4 So the second I saw Lions fans saying they were going to win this game is the minute I knew they were going to lose.

Speaker 4 There was a time where it looked like they had the game in control, and they probably played a better game than the Packers did over. David Blau.
David Blau looked good. Caught a touchdown.

Speaker 4 He looks, you know what? He's got Moxie now. He does.
He's on the Doltameter.

Speaker 4 But the second that they got really, they allowed themselves a little glimmer of hope being like, this is our game, and we're going to win it. We're finally going to beat the Packers.

Speaker 4 We're going to show them who's boss. I knew it was over at that point.
Because

Speaker 4 that's the instant for Detroit fans, because they say, and God bless Detroit Lions fans, because I feel your pain as a recovering R-Words fan.

Speaker 1 Marth Vader's got you.

Speaker 4 You have to expect the worst always because the worst happens to you, whether it's from the refs or whether it's from the rule book or whether it's from your players retiring too early because Marth Vader drove them out of the league.

Speaker 4 You have to expect the worst. But then the second,

Speaker 4 you always let them back in just a tiny amount, and then they shut the door on your face.

Speaker 1 That's right, Don and Superfan. When I sat with them and they were calculating ways to get into the playoffs, and then Aaron Rodgers ripped their heart clean out of their chest.

Speaker 4 Here's something good about the Lions. Statistically, they have the best win percentage for any three-win team in the history of the NFL.
Because they're tied. Because they have a tie.
There you go.

Speaker 1 That's huge. The GOATs.
What three do they have?

Speaker 4 They are picking. Fourth, third, third.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's.
Oh, you know what? Yeah, third. Oh, okay.
Well, it's not like it's a two-two-player draft or anything. No.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're good. You'll get Tua.
I'm sure that'll work out well for you.

Speaker 1 You'll get Tua and he'll retire before he even plays.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's go to, by the way, if you want to watch us, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, you can watch us barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Browns Bengals, the Battle of Ohio.

Speaker 1 We kind of got, it kind of got like stolen from us, the fact that they fired Freddy Kitchens, because I wanted to make one last round of Freddy Kitchens jokes, and then him getting fired has ruined it because I wanted to be like, there was a report before the game that Freddy Kitchens was on the hot seat, and they were going to wait and see how the Bengals game went.

Speaker 1 So basically, like, if he can beat the one-win Bengals, we'll keep him. And if he can't, we'll fire him, which is incredible that that would actually be the case.

Speaker 1 But he got fired so fast, and now we're left being like, man,

Speaker 1 I kind of miss him already.

Speaker 4 Well, Freddy, he was a harmless enough guy. Yeah.
He was...

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's a guy that you wanted to succeed, but you also knew he had no chance in hell of succeeding after just a couple weeks. He was in way, way over his head.

Speaker 1 Did you see his quote from last week? I think it was in the middle of us being out out for Christmas. He had a quote that if the Bengals lost didn't get him fired, this was what got him fired.

Speaker 1 He said, we don't draw plays to beat the other team. We play football.
That's what we want to be. We want to be a football team.
We don't want to be the designer of plays.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure if you're an offensive coordinator, if you're coaching that side of the ball, you want to draw plays that can beat the other team.

Speaker 4 Well, first of all, put some respect on Freddie Kitchen's name because as a coach of the Cleveland Browns, he has the highest winning percentage in the history of this franchise. True, true, true.

Speaker 4 Since they came back to the league.

Speaker 4 So, Freddie Kitchens, they might put a statue up for him because he did win more than, well, with the exception of Greg Williams as the interim coach, but that doesn't count. Doesn't count.

Speaker 4 But everybody else, you look back at

Speaker 4 Rod Chajinski. Yep.
You look at Mike Petton. He was a coach there for two years.
You look at Hugh. Hugh? Hugh.
Hugh was there for two years.

Speaker 1 No, Hugh was there for longer than two years.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but

Speaker 4 he stuck around after going 0-16.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, Freddy's out, and now Haslam is leading a new coaching search. I have a prediction for this one.
So, we're playing musical coaches at this point, right?

Speaker 4 So, I think it's going to be McCarthy. Yes.
Because he looks like

Speaker 4 McCarthy looks like a Cleveland coach.

Speaker 1 Well, and they have the Dorsey connection.

Speaker 4 They got the Dorsey connection. But more importantly, he just looks like a Cleveland type of guy.
Yes. Like, if Freddie Kitchens got a makeover and became slightly more professional,

Speaker 4 that's what you have when you get a Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 1 If Freddie Kitchens got a haircut and skipped dinner, he'd be Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 4 If he went on queer eye for the straight gaps, then he becomes Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 whole Browns season, so sad. The fact that the stat, that Baker Mayfield was the first Browns quarterback to start all 16 games in 18 years, that's insane.
That's crazy. That's insane.

Speaker 1 I don't, I, the best thing I could say is maybe people will start believing in in the Browns come next year and you'll get a little hype, but I don't think you want the hype.

Speaker 1 I think if you're the Browns, and

Speaker 1 it's going to really be bad.

Speaker 1 This is going to really be bad when I say this, but not only was this season just terrible for the Browns, Lamar Jackson is incredible, and the Ravens look like they're set up for a while now.

Speaker 1 Joe Burrow is going to be the quarterback in Cincinnati, and Big Ben's coming back.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 4 that sucks. So you might want Greg Williams back if you have to go up against Joe Burrow and Lamar Jackson because maybe he'll intentionally injure them.

Speaker 1 Just bounty him. Yes.
That's the only way you're going to win.

Speaker 4 That's really your only hope right now.

Speaker 4 I think McCarthy would be a good coach because Baker is good. His wide receivers are very good.
His tight end is good.

Speaker 1 No, he needs a tight end. Njoku didn't even play this year.
Remember, Warren Sharp told us that?

Speaker 4 Well, Njoku wants to come back if Freddie Kitchens isn't going to be there. Yeah.
Which I don't really blame him for because his snap count went way down this year.

Speaker 4 So I think that McCarthy would be as good of a fit as you can hope for in Cleveland because he's competent. But he might be the Panthers coach.
He might be the Panthers coach.

Speaker 1 Because that seems like that was a good, he had a good interview there. And that would be a benefit to firing your coach in the season.

Speaker 4 Yes, he's getting his analytics team together right now. And it seems like Tepper wants a big analytics guy.
So if I'm Cleveland, I just try to throw a lot of money.

Speaker 4 But this, you know, I've got a conspiracy theory about the Browns that I've been marinating on for the last five years. Okay.
I think that Jimmy Haslam is a fraud owner. I think that he is.

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 4 That's not a conspiracy. Well, so he's, yes, you're right.
Oh, yeah. Wait.
From the FBI.

Speaker 1 As far as law enforcement goes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is a bad owner. No, you're right.

Speaker 4 Like, as far as his criminal record goes,

Speaker 1 he doesn't actually own the team.

Speaker 4 He has committed fraud. Yes.
I think that he's a shadow owner. He's a puppet owner.

Speaker 1 put in place by the Steelers. Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 Because he was a partial owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers before he became an owner of the Browns. Yes.

Speaker 4 So I think that this might be a situation where he got sent to Cleveland to just make sure that they never become too much of a threat to the Stillers. Yes.

Speaker 1 And he also is the biggest booster for Tennessee football. So Jimmy Haslam,

Speaker 1 yeah, I actually don't know if I would, well, no, I don't think I'd trade spots even how rich he is. He has the two.

Speaker 1 His two teams stink. Wait, every year.

Speaker 4 You wouldn't trade spots to own the Black teams.

Speaker 1 My life? No, and he has to pay so much money every year to try to get Tennessee going.

Speaker 4 It's so dumb, though, that you say that you can't. You would not trade spots to be an NFL head coach if if I had Jimmy Hammond for the Bengals.

Speaker 1 You know, if I had Jimmy Haslam's brain, though? Like, if I had to be Jimmy Haslam.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, but I mean, if I could be myself, I'd trade spots. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Because you would own the Browns.

Speaker 1 No, if I was just Jimmy, if you just did, like, I had to be in Jimmy Haslam's body and just be as dumb as him and make the mistakes and root for my shitty teams.

Speaker 4 Right. I'd rather be myself than Jimmy Haslam.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, right.

Speaker 4 Right, right. Yeah, I don't have to notify a probation officer when I cross state lines.

Speaker 1 Okay, same page.

Speaker 1 Andy Dalton, that was nice. He had one last win.

Speaker 4 That was cool. Shout out, Andy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he ran for a touchdown. That was awesome.

Speaker 1 All right.

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Speaker 1 Jets, Bills, we don't really have to talk about this except for the fact

Speaker 1 my AFC

Speaker 1 Michael Strahan Dark Horse team has to be the Jets. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 in the last eight games of the season, the AFC East teams, Jets 6-2, Bills, 4-4, Dolphins, 4-4, Patriots, 4-4.

Speaker 1 AFC East,

Speaker 1 the season just ran out on the Jets.

Speaker 4 You can't get mono twice.

Speaker 1 If it had kept on going, they would have been the AFC East champions like somewhere around week 28.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and Jerry Jones' dream of having a 25-week NFL season, that would heavily favor this one.

Speaker 1 This would have been it.

Speaker 4 Adam Gace is coming back, too. Yeah.
He's firing him.

Speaker 1 No, but you know this is going to happen.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's exactly what they do to make their predictions. They just look at what teams played well down the stretch and won the last couple games, and then they're everyone's dark horse.

Speaker 4 My big takeaway was that Matt Barkley is still in the league.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. He's still out there throwing big time.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Also, the guy that said Dallas is going down, that Bills fan, Super fan, he is considering filing a lawsuit against the Bills because they're using his video, and he feels that he should be compensated for that.

Speaker 4 Good. So we support him.
Only in America.

Speaker 4 As we did with Ragnar of the Minnesota Vikings, I think that, I mean, you should pay him for the video that he put out 20 years ago.

Speaker 1 I love this guy because he,

Speaker 1 as of like three weeks ago, at Thanksgiving, I thought he was dead. Like everyone just kept on saying he's dead.
And then he just popped up. That video has been.
He's just drunk.

Speaker 1 But that video has been being played. No, he actually isn't.
He doesn't even drink. That's the craziest part.
That's him sober? He was sober in that video.

Speaker 4 He's always, he's just sober.

Speaker 1 He was sober in that. Because he was mad because there's a craft beer company.
in the Buffalo area that's making beer with his likeness, and he's pissed because of that, too. Okay.

Speaker 1 So people are trying to get on him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's getting his name and likeness. Yeah.
We'll send you a $50 gift card to the Barcelona store.

Speaker 1 You got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the Bills, they didn't try. I'm excited for Saturday when they play against the Texans.
We'll get to that in a minute.

Speaker 1 Bears, Vikings,

Speaker 1 whatever.

Speaker 4 Congratulations. You got a kicker now.

Speaker 1 We swept the Vikings two years in a row. No big deal.

Speaker 4 So classic Kirk Cousins can't win a game against a 500 champions.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Even though he didn't play, I'm still pinning this one on him. Yep.

Speaker 1 And Matt Nagy said, after the game, for me, 2020 starts right now, literally the second I walk off this stage. So, congrats to Matt Nagy.
The Bears have a head coach that can time travel.

Speaker 4 He's living two days in the future.

Speaker 1 2020 literally starts now. He's also a teenager who doesn't understand the word literally.

Speaker 4 I can't imagine a worse secret power than being able to time travel, but only two days in advance.

Speaker 1 And it's two days in advance to go over your shitty football team and how bad of a season it was.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if he time travels,

Speaker 4 that's two days that you could have been watching the double doink video on repeat, Matt Nagy.

Speaker 1 How are you going to improve on that? Matt Nagy's like when Dwight Schroot

Speaker 1 is the bellhop at the Hell Hotel. Oh, that's his dream job.
Yeah, his dream job. That's Matt Nagy.

Speaker 1 He's like, my dream job is to get a two-day jump on going over the corpse that was the 2019 Chicago Bears.

Speaker 4 That's all he's going to be doing is just straight up like a dissection of the entire season. Washington.
He's not going to do anything productive in those two days.

Speaker 1 There's no good tape. No.
It sucked. The whole season sucked.
And it's going to be the exact same team next year. So congrats, time-traveling coach.
And we don't have a first-round pick.

Speaker 4 I want to give Kirk Cousins credit in the Minnesota Vikings. Yeah.
Because Kirk Cousins did beat a 500 or better team this year. He beat the Eagles because the Eagles finished 9-7.

Speaker 4 Or did they finish 8-8-8?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they finished 8-8.

Speaker 4 So, Kirk Cousins, congratulations. Credit where credit's due.

Speaker 1 You did it. You did it.

Speaker 4 You finally got over that hump. You did it.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And now you have to go to the Superdome, right? They're playing against the Saints.

Speaker 1 Are the Vikings?

Speaker 1 And I don't want to beat up on Vikings fans here, but I'd have to imagine I have some friends that are Vikings fans, and I talked to them after the game today.

Speaker 1 I think this has got to be the least pumped up a fan base has to be for a playoff team. Yeah.

Speaker 1 To finish the season the way they did that Monday night game against Green Bay, and then, you know, they didn't try today, so it doesn't really count, but to have to go to the Superdome?

Speaker 4 Is Dalvin Cook, is he healthy?

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, no, they're not going to the Super Dome. Check that.
They're not going to the Super Dome. Oh, wait.
Yes, they are. Yes, they are going to the Super Dome.
Yes, they are.

Speaker 1 They are going to the Super Dome.

Speaker 4 Because the last I saw of Dalvin Cook, he was holding the oxygen mask up to his ear to try to hear the air that was coming.

Speaker 1 And the concussion spotter was like, got him.

Speaker 4 That's one thing that I can't fuck up. I'm pretty sure that that's a sign of.

Speaker 1 He's on the banana phone.

Speaker 4 So hopefully, I don't know. Hopefully he's better because he's actually a lot of fun to watch.
I like Dalvin Cook.

Speaker 1 But they're going to get, I mean, what's.

Speaker 4 They're going to get Minnesota Miracle rematch.

Speaker 1 What's going to be the line in that game?

Speaker 4 You want to play a game called Guest of the Line?

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's play a game called Guest of the Line.

Speaker 4 I think it's going to be Saints by 6.5.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I would say Saints by 7.5. Okay.
All right. Let's look it up.
Saints, Vikings, opening line.

Speaker 4 Let me get my cousin Big Mark on this to look it up.

Speaker 1 Big Mark.

Speaker 4 What's the line?

Speaker 1 Oh, that's last year's. I was going to say Vikings minus 4.5.
Wow. Oh, I actually nailed it.
7.5. Okay.

Speaker 1 Didn't cheat. 7.5.

Speaker 1 The Saints are going to kill them.

Speaker 1 The Saints might be the hottest team going into the playoffs. Actually, it's perfect because they're the next team on our list.
They might be the hottest team going into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I mean, they lost that game against the 49ers, but they're playing. Well, obviously the Ravens are, but the Saints are in the NFC playing fucking awesome football.

Speaker 4 My big question is, is Antonio Brown going to get a Super Bowl ring if they win one?

Speaker 1 Dude, how?

Speaker 4 She brought him in for the tryout.

Speaker 1 What about him not passing the simple test? Don't bring an entire film crew.

Speaker 4 Yeah, don't spend a lot of money on this flight over here for a workout. He's like, no, I'm going to spend the money.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, I'm going to bring the film crew.

Speaker 4 You've got to spend money to make money. That's big business.

Speaker 1 We don't say the P-word.

Speaker 1 He brought the entourage, though. He brought the whole crew.
And yeah, way to go, Antonio Brown. I actually think this was a move by the Saints just to make sure that the Patriots wouldn't get him.

Speaker 4 Well, I also think that Sean Payton likes to do things every now and again just to let everyone know that he's crazy. And to say, fuck you, Goodell.
Yeah, and that he's capable of literally anything.

Speaker 4 Right. So he'll do something that's just off the wall, insane.
So other coaches will be like, this guy, I don't know how to game plan for an insane person.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the Saints killed the Panthers. We'll do just a couple of things.

Speaker 4 This was a celebration gift. This was

Speaker 4 a thank you from the Panthers to the Saints for allowing Dan Quinn to beat them in that one big pivotal game, which probably ensured Dan Quinn coming back for next year.

Speaker 4 It's like a gentleman's handshake.

Speaker 1 It was never in doubt. And the only thing I would say is I want to just say quickly, Christian McCaffrey, Unreal Year, lost in the fact that he was on a Panthers team.

Speaker 1 Remember when the Panthers were maybe going to make the play, like they were going to sneak in here when it was obviously mid-season, so it was a long way to go.

Speaker 1 But that game in Lambeau and Kyle Allen drives him all the way down the field, doesn't score. I feel like their season ended right there.

Speaker 1 But Christian McCaffrey is the third player ever to go 1,000, 1,000.

Speaker 1 And the crazier stat from Christian McCaffrey, 403 touches this year, zero lost fumbles.

Speaker 4 That is nuts. That's nuts.
That's like Ben Jarvis Green Ellis level. That's crazy.

Speaker 4 Also, shout out to to the Panthers. You kicked the field goal when you're down 35.

Speaker 1 I love it. You got to get.
You got to get on the board. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to do something. Listen, it's called the Pat Shermer newspaper box score.
Play.

Speaker 1 You want to make sure that if someone wakes up, some guy wakes up, he didn't watch any NFL Sunday, he picks up his paper and he sees the box score, he doesn't want to see a shutout. Yep.

Speaker 1 You got to take the points at home. Yes.
All right. Next up, we'll go to the afternoon games.
So the 1 o'clock games were good.

Speaker 1 Obviously, the Jameis and the Patriots were the big stories, but it was all kind of gearing up toward the late games, what would happen, because there was a lot more at line.

Speaker 1 They stacked the deck that way.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was wondering why they didn't have the Chargers and the Chiefs play the late game today.

Speaker 1 It's kind of weird.

Speaker 1 I think they just basically make it so that nothing, no game can affect another game. Like, no game, like, they have to all play at the same time when it comes to seeding, right?

Speaker 1 So, like, the Titans and Steelers had to play at the same time.

Speaker 4 But the Raiders played

Speaker 1 the afternoon. Yeah, the Raiders were linked with the divisions.
Okay, so it's about who are you linked with your division?

Speaker 4 Right, right.

Speaker 1 All right, Redskins, Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones watching the Eagles game was so funny. And just the disgust.
Jerry Jones also said after the game.

Speaker 1 Tell me if you can pick up a theme from this Jerry Jones quote, okay?

Speaker 1 I've made changes, and I can see myself making a lot of changes in a lot of areas.

Speaker 5 His theme is Tupac.

Speaker 1 Hold on. In a lot of areas, the time calls for change.
I'm about change.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Tupac.

Speaker 1 I think he's going to do some changes.

Speaker 4 It's time to start making changes.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 4 He made a G today. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe he made it a sleazy way. Maybe selling Dak to the kids.

Speaker 1 He's going to get a new office chair. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe a bigger monitor for his computer.

Speaker 4 I have a challenge for you, Jerry Jones. Just coach the team.

Speaker 1 Just coach the Dallas Cowboys. Or have your failed son coach the team.

Speaker 4 You know, Jerry Jones wants to coach the team secretly?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 Maybe not even secretly. He literally wants to coach.
I mean, Jason Garrett might just be calling all the plays that Jerry Jones is radioing in from up in in his box. Jerry, just coach the team.

Speaker 1 If I were Jerry Jones, I'd coach the team. Why not? Fuck it.

Speaker 4 You're the owner. And what Jerry Jones does better than anybody else in this league is he takes full credit for how bad he is at everything.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So he'll always say after a game that they lose, like, it starts at the top with me. I'm not going to blame anybody else.
He's great at admitting that he sucks at stuff.

Speaker 1 Well, it's the greatest job in the world to have to be able to say, I suck. This is terrible.
It's my fault. Oh, yeah, I can't be fired because I'm the boss.
Yeah, it'd be, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all about accountability here. Yeah, right.

Speaker 4 He finds himself and then he writes a check to himself.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would do the same thing. Like, hey, listen, guys, the buck stops here.
I screwed up. I messed up.
Oh, yeah, I'm a billionaire and I can't be fired.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he just writes himself a check for $50,000 and then takes it and cashes it and buys a whole shitload of Johnny Walker blue.

Speaker 4 Jerry Jones coached the team. If you get off to a slow start, you can fire yourself at head coach.
You've always wanted to do that. That's like, that's the pinnacle of of a boss move right there.
Yes.

Speaker 4 Is being so powerful that you're even more powerful than you are. Yes.
So fire yourself and then install Jason Witten as your head coach. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Imagine he would do something like that. Make Jason Witten the head coach.
He's thinking about it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 For sure. I guarantee you he is.

Speaker 1 One too many Johnny Walkers in a late night meeting at Jason Witten's house, and he's going to be the head coach.

Speaker 4 Because Jason Witten is a guy that's just, he reminds him of better times when he's around. He's like, we were competitive.

Speaker 1 They weren't that good.

Speaker 4 No, we made the playoffs a couple of times. I think Jason Witten has two wins, two playoff wins, but still

Speaker 4 better than they were, better than they are now. And so he sees Jason Wynn.
He's like,

Speaker 4 that boy can win me a championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I also love that the Cowboys, like, everyone just keeps saying the most talented team to underachieve. Like, maybe they just weren't that talented.
No, I think they're,

Speaker 1 but they are pretty talented. Yeah, but they also kind of suck.
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, it's, yeah, they put up big numbers against bad teams, but the mark of a good team and of talent is to win a big game against a good opponent, and they just didn't. So are we sure?

Speaker 1 Are we sure they're talented? Are we sure they're talented?

Speaker 4 They're talented, but they're not good.

Speaker 4 That's where their problem lies. Oh, man.
Because when you look at all their skill positions and their offensive line, even they have an amazing offense on paper.

Speaker 4 So I'm going to go with Dak Prescott was just hurt. He was injured for the second half of the season.

Speaker 1 I look forward to Jerry Jones' very emotional, teary-eyed press conference when he fires Jason Garrett. Because you know he will.

Speaker 1 He'll get all, you know, he'll probably do it super hungover, so already have some tears worked in. You know, when you're so hungover that you're just like, wake up crying, yeah, he'll have that.

Speaker 4 You wake up crying?

Speaker 1 No, a little tear in your eyes. You're like, damn, this is.
You want to talk about something?

Speaker 1 No, it's, I think that's something that happens when you're so hungover that your eyes are like already bloodshot. Definitely crying.

Speaker 4 Yeah, definitely the bloodshot. You know what happens to me when I'm hungover? When I walk outside and the wind hits my face the first time, I look like no Sean Moreno during the Star Speckles.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah. So that's going to be Jerry Jones.

Speaker 1 Either Monday, Tuesday, I don't know. He'll figure out a way.
He'll actually probably fire Jason Garrett like three o'clock on Saturday, right before the playoffs start, so we can talk about that.

Speaker 4 I think that Jerry Jones doesn't know what he's going to do with Jason Garrett yet. I think that he's going to have his press conference.
He's going to sleep on it.

Speaker 4 He's going to sleep on it, and he's still not going to know. And he's going to open his mouth, and then whatever comes out of his mouth at that time is his decision.

Speaker 4 He doesn't, Jerry, he's not a big planner. You don't have to be a big planner when you're that rich.

Speaker 1 No. All right.
Raiders, Broncos.

Speaker 4 Vic Fangio.

Speaker 1 He was asked about Drew Locke being 4-1. He corrected them saying the Broncos are 4-1.

Speaker 1 Also, Vic Fangio,

Speaker 1 do we have to take his football guy card? Because he got a little emotional, Vic Fangio, over the week. He said that he watches Hallmark movies.

Speaker 1 He watched Christmas Under the Stars on Christmas Eve because he wanted to feel all Christmassy.

Speaker 1 And he said, quote,

Speaker 1 I'd rather a chick-flick than a shoot-'em-up, blow-em-up movie.

Speaker 1 Vic Fangio, is he

Speaker 4 does he have a heart? Well, no, he just loves Christmas movies.

Speaker 1 He wants Chickflip.

Speaker 4 So he solved the diehard Christmas movie riddle once and for all, which he's resolved to never discuss again. Doesn't want it.
But no, he's like your grandfather.

Speaker 4 Your grandfather, he has his programs that he likes to watch, his stories around Christmas time. He's probably seen all those movies a hundred times.
He doesn't like new stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So every Christmas, he just sits down, parks his ass in front of the TV, and watches Christmas Vacation and White Christmas like six times in a row, and he just feels good about it. Right.

Speaker 4 I don't hate that, actually.

Speaker 4 If you're going to have a defensive surly coach, I kind of like a little heart. I kind of like the fact that he's got a softer side.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, it's a big deal because I think I saw that quote a hundred times on Twitter because everyone's like, can you believe this? Vic Fangio said what?

Speaker 1 It's like one of those TMZ, like, hey, like,

Speaker 1 guess that Kardashian ass. And it's like, what? You know, Vic Fangio said what? He likes Christmas movies?

Speaker 4 He, uh, yeah, he probably has doctor's orders to not watch shoot-em-up movies. I imagine that triggers his blood pressure a little bit.

Speaker 1 That's true. Yeah, if he watches a shoot-em-up blow-em-up, he immediately

Speaker 1 gets some kind of

Speaker 1 kidney stone or he's like, yeah, his liver just starts to short circuit.

Speaker 4 He can't do it. I want to give a shout out to Drew Locke.
I've upgraded Drew Locke. He no longer has Moxie.
So he's played through the Moxie. He now has poise, which means that he's good enough.

Speaker 4 to just expect Moxie from him.

Speaker 4 So I think Drew Locke is going to be the quarterback of the future in Denver.

Speaker 4 He's definitely, you know, obviously the second best quarterback in that division, pending Phillip Rivers coming back or not. Correct.

Speaker 4 But Drew Locke is going to be a beast. A beast.
I think he's going to be very, very beast. I like Drew Locke a lot.

Speaker 1 How many Pro Bowls?

Speaker 4 Well, Pro Bowls, I mean, Andy Dalton made.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Voted Pro Bowl.

Speaker 1 Top three quarterbacks in the AFC.

Speaker 4 No, I'm going to take your original question. Say he will make, he will be in

Speaker 4 five Pro Bowls.

Speaker 1 Five Pro Bowls.

Speaker 4 Five Pro Bowls. Damn.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Drew Locke, five-time Pro Bowler.

Speaker 1 I'm sure John Elliott will fuck it up, though. He'll probably

Speaker 1 draft someone else.

Speaker 4 I've got a little stat here for you. This is from Josh Dubo.
He's at the AP. He says that Derek Carr lost his 55th game as a starting quarterback this week.

Speaker 4 The only quarterback to lose more in his first season, or in his first six seasons.

Speaker 4 Guess who it was?

Speaker 1 Peyton Manning.

Speaker 4 David Carr. Damn.
with 56.

Speaker 1 I was hoping it was one of those Peyton Manning. The answer is always Peyton Manning.

Speaker 4 Well, the Carr brothers are the opposite of the Manning Brothers.

Speaker 1 Shout out Peyton Manning, by the way, for just having such bad statistics his rookie year that you can basically link any bad quarterback to his rookie year and be like, you know, who also sucked?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Peyton Manning.

Speaker 4 No, he made a lot of people a lot of money based off the greatness.

Speaker 1 It's great. It was a very nice thing.

Speaker 1 He paid it forward for future generations in the NFL.

Speaker 4 But yeah, the Carr brothers are officially now the reverse Manning Brothers. I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 4 A total of 11

Speaker 4 losses combined in their first six seasons. And then, oh, they've got a brother that intercepts cosmetic problems for their wives, too.

Speaker 4 So that's also a little Manning thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. That's actually a good point.
It's a perfect Manning. Yeah, they're the shadow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he takes mascara.

Speaker 1 Upside-down world Mannings.

Speaker 4 Peyton takes HGH.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Raiders, the weirdest team to still be mathematically alive in week 17.

Speaker 4 Fun fact, the Raiders are technically still alive to make the playoffs somehow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if the Titans just don't show up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if they all

Speaker 1 do. So that's going to be weird.

Speaker 4 Or the alternate team.

Speaker 1 Say something nice about the Raiders. The Death Star football stadium, now I get it.
That's why you're going to Vegas. That fucking stadium is awesome.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 you got to actually put a good team in it. But in terms of the intimidation factor, just by driving up, 10 out of 10.

Speaker 4 At what point in the offseason do they start to move to Las Vegas? Do the players start to move there?

Speaker 1 I think Gruden's already there. Well, I know if Mark Davis is already there.

Speaker 4 Mark Davis already.

Speaker 1 He's already in the fucking PF Changs at like the Cosmo.

Speaker 4 He's got his own seat there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, he's been there.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Cardinals, Rams, Kyler Murray, maybe offensive rookie of the year, either him or Jacobs.

Speaker 4 I don't know. It's such a sad debate that we're having for this award.
It really, it shouldn't go to anybody, but you know that it's off to a bad start when people are lobbying for it openly. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So Kyler Murray and the Cardinals put out a bunch of graphics.

Speaker 4 His agent also put out his own separate four-year consideration thing saying he's one of five quarterbacks to do X, Y, and Z.

Speaker 1 He was good. He was very good.

Speaker 4 He was good, but there was nobody. Josh Jacobs, I think, was going to win it hands down, but that hurt.

Speaker 4 But Kyler Murray, I think you have to say, like, he's pretty, he's good.

Speaker 1 He has a good season. I don't know.
Both these teams.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to expect out of them going forward. Like, the Rams are at a crossroads.
I think McVays even said that. Like, coaching, they probably got to cash in.

Speaker 1 They probably got to trade some pieces to get some draft capital back.

Speaker 1 And then the Cardinals, I think they're good, but it's always weird to watch teams like the Cardinals where they're bad enough that they can sneak up on teams.

Speaker 1 So if they ever get good, can they be like good when teams expect it? I hope they get good. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Just so that they can drive Matthew Berry insane because he's still going nuts

Speaker 4 from how the team Twitter account rubbed his face in the David Johnson usage rate back in in like week 12.

Speaker 1 Kenyon Drake's going to get paid. Keny's a free agent.
Yeah, Kenyon.

Speaker 4 That was awesome.

Speaker 4 Big turnaround for him.

Speaker 1 Yes, huge, huge.

Speaker 4 Good job. But yeah, I don't know what else to say about the Cardinals.
I think that Cliff Kingsbury is a decent coach. Right.
But

Speaker 4 there's nothing that he did this year that was really game-changing.

Speaker 4 Everyone expected him to come into the league and revolutionize or add new wrinkles.

Speaker 1 And it was just kind of same old, same way. And

Speaker 1 the Cardinals always were in those frisky games. Either they were in the frisky games or they were down so much that they could just throw the ball.
You know what what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, they, when they actually do get good, will they be able to be good when they actually have to, like, people expect it and teams expect it?

Speaker 1 They were just bad enough where they could sneak under the radar and get, I think they got, what, six wins, five wins? We're like, okay, sure, they played some games. They were frisky at times.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know what else to say about the Cardinals. They're frisky.
Yeah, they won five games. They went five, ten, and one.
That's the perfect frisky level.

Speaker 4 Yeah, not bad, not great.

Speaker 4 As good as you can hope for out of a rookie quarterback in the state of Arizona, I guess.

Speaker 1 And so goes the worst segment that's ever been done about the Arizona Cardinals. Let's talk about the Cardinal.
You said nothing for two minutes.

Speaker 4 I'll say something. Larry Fitzgerald's ass is still thick.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll say something.

Speaker 1 Somewhat controversial. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 I don't think Larry Fitzgerald should have been in the top 100. Wow.

Speaker 4 I'll say that. So Larry gets a lot of credit because he played with so many

Speaker 1 quarterbacks

Speaker 4 and he's very polite polite to the media, except when it comes to his father. He told his father, let's have some respect for the biz and turn your cell phone off when you're interviewing me.

Speaker 4 But yeah, he's always been like a fan favorite. He's been a media darling, and he's got a big ass, so people love him.

Speaker 1 Who are the wide receivers that were in the top 100?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, but I'm just going to say it, and I'll stick by it. I don't even know who's in the top 100.
Let me see.

Speaker 1 I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking.

Speaker 4 I disagree with you. I think that's a trash take.
Larry Fitzgerald is a good wide receiver. Very good wide receiver.

Speaker 1 He deserves it.

Speaker 1 I don't think T.O. made it.

Speaker 1 T.O. is better than Larry Fitzgerald.
I'm sure someone will show me numbers. I watched both guys play.
I'd put T.O. in there.

Speaker 4 I hope that one Cardinals fan that you take screenshots of, Chargy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry. I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 He's a very good wide receiver. They did a top 150, he'd be in there.
I think T.O. should be in there.
Disagree. Okay.

Speaker 1 Who would you? You don't think T.O. is better?

Speaker 4 I think Larry is better.

Speaker 1 Okay. I just, T.O.
had

Speaker 1 big moments. He had playoff moments.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 T.O. treated his quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 He was mean to the media.

Speaker 4 T.O. treated his quarterbacks like Larry Fitzgerald should have treated his quarterbacks.

Speaker 4 T.O. played

Speaker 4 for some pretty good passers, and he acted like they were all Drew Stanton.

Speaker 1 That's true. All right, do your ad.
I'm going to look up T.O.'s stats real quick. I'm going to do my ad.
Do your ad.

Speaker 4 I'm going to do my ad, and we're talking about indoor.

Speaker 1 Because that was a take that I just literally just threw out there that I have nothing to back it up. And I hope it's not.

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Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 T.O. No, T.O.
is better. T.O.
had he didn't play as many games as Larry Fitzgerald. If you want to go longevity, that's fine.
But T.O. had more yards per game.
He had more touchdowns per game.

Speaker 1 And guess what? I'm going to throw another name out there. And again, this is not against Larry Fitzgerald.
He's top 12 wide receivers of all time. Calvin Johnson was better than Larry Fitzgerald.

Speaker 1 Calvin Johnson Johnson didn't make the top 12. I agree with that.
Okay. There we go.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think Calvin Johnson.

Speaker 1 Calvin Johnson and T.O. were better.

Speaker 4 You know what? The NFL should have, they should have waited to the offseason to get us mad at lists. Yes.
Now is not the time for me to get mad at lists.

Speaker 4 I agree. That's March, April, May season right there.
So soon. Saving for the summertime.

Speaker 1 Like, this is a perfect middle of June. I should be mad.
And I would have done my research and been like, all right, here's why I just did that off the cuff there, but I believe that.

Speaker 1 So maybe, you know what, Liam, write this down. In June, let's do a very relevant thing.
Let's go over the top 100 lists and break it down. We'll do a whole podcast.
I think that's fair.

Speaker 4 That's list season. NFL, that was a major baseball movie.

Speaker 1 No, we're going to do that.

Speaker 1 We're going to do literally a breakdown of the NFL 100 on a Friday afternoon in late June.

Speaker 4 And we're going to get real pissed off about it. We're going to be ready with our arguments here.

Speaker 1 Get ready, everyone. We might even have Rich Eisen call in.
I don't know if you saw it, but he hosted it.

Speaker 4 I saw that. And that's another thing.
They do the show where they've got like Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 It was awesome.

Speaker 4 Fred Favre, Belichick, all sitting down, like opening up about some of the players that they coached and coached against. And it gets lost in the watch because, guess what?

Speaker 4 I'm busy worrying about getting my bet in for Thursday night football.

Speaker 1 There's bowl games on. There's so much football going on right now.

Speaker 1 I saw some clips. I was like, shit, I want to watch this.
Bill Belichick talking about football is awesome. And they threw it in there.
in the middle of all the live football. You fucked up.
Big time.

Speaker 1 You fucked up. You do a certain bye week.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was going to say, even do this before the Super Bowl. The week before the Super Bowl.
Right, we're mad. Leading into the pro.
Now you got us mad about being mad about.

Speaker 4 I'm mad because I'm not able to get sufficiently mad enough about your list because you fucked it up. Damn.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Next up, Eagles Giants.

Speaker 1 Eagles, NFC East champions, and they continued the trend. 15 consecutive seasons, the NFC champion, NFC East champion did not repeat.
That's insane.

Speaker 4 NFC Beast, we beat each other up.

Speaker 1 That's insane also considering the the fact that there's three Super Bowls in that 15 years out of the NFC East. So it's crazy that that has happened yet again.

Speaker 1 I don't know how the Eagles did it this year.

Speaker 1 This is one of those, like, the Eagles aren't going to go far in the playoffs, but they need to get some type of an award where the way they kept this team together, Carson Wentz deserves all the credit.

Speaker 1 Doug Peterson deserves all the credit. I was looking through it.

Speaker 1 Opening day, the week one, Carson Wentz's weapons were Darren Sprolls, Jordan Howard, Deshaun Jackson, Zach Ertz, Al Shawn Jeffrey, Nelson Aguilar.

Speaker 1 Week 17, with the division on the line, his weapons were Dallas Goddard, Greg Ward, Deontay Burnett, Josh Perkins, Boston Scott, Miles Sanders.

Speaker 1 It's crazy that he threw for 4,000 yards, throwing to, literally is every single wide receiver he was throwing to week one, and then throw in Zach Ertz, who didn't play this week.

Speaker 1 He's throwing just completely different receiving courts.

Speaker 4 I also think Zach Ertz, he broke a rib. I think his kidney got fucked up.
Yeah. Yeah, he might have had to have his rib removed.

Speaker 4 Marilyn Manson, Nick Foles, that's a guy that could probably suck his own dick without having the rib removal. But yeah, the weapons are totally gone.

Speaker 4 Deshaun Jackson, they keep saying that Deshaun Jackson is going to come back eventually.

Speaker 4 I feel like Deshaun was just like, I want to live in Philly and get paid, but I don't really want to play this year.

Speaker 1 I saw the report. It's if they get to the second round, he's going to come back.
Okay. So

Speaker 1 he's not going to come back this week. But seriously, the Eagles, they get a home home playoff game.

Speaker 1 And what they did this year, keeping it all together, Carson Wentz, I said this last week, but I'll repeat it.

Speaker 1 Anyone who's been there and been like a true blue Carson Wentz guy, you deserve the victory lap for this season because he threw for 4,000 yards to absolutely no one.

Speaker 1 He played 16 games, which everyone was talking about the health.

Speaker 1 He wins them the NFC East with like a bunch of band-aids and gauze. And credit to them, too.
He beat that.

Speaker 4 He's been a beast. So that's the big thing is now he's got one up on him.

Speaker 1 4,000 yards passing. First time in Eagles history.
Again, the Bears are the only team that hasn't done that.

Speaker 4 At one point today, there was a line to get into the blue medical tent on the sidelines. That's how bad it was.
That's how bad the injuries were. They were like waiting in line

Speaker 4 to see a doctor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not funny, but it is funny the fact that every single Eagles player gets hurt. Yeah.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 So I don't really give them that much, although we talked about it going west to east for the Seahawks, but credit to them because they somehow won the NFC East in a season.

Speaker 1 You know how, like, there's never like moral victories if your season ends on a loss and you're going to maybe lose in the wild card round.

Speaker 1 I think if you're an Eagles fan and you watch this season, you're okay, and this is obviously because of the Super Bowl a couple years ago, but you're okay with how this season went, even if you lose on Sunday.

Speaker 4 I'm very much looking forward to the offseason takes when the Eagles don't fire their medical staff for all the Eagles fans to be like, what are we doing?

Speaker 4 Because they're going to keep the staff around. I think it's like it's injury luck.
Sometimes just shit happens.

Speaker 1 Doug Peterson might have played himself into an 8-8 contract extension. I don't know if they extended.
They probably extended him after the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 Yeah, somebody do the math on this where you look at all the percentages of times that Doug Peterson goes for it on fourth down and see how many extra plays his offensive players have had to run over the last couple years.

Speaker 4 And maybe that's all the wear and tear on them. They need to do more load management by punting.

Speaker 1 This is like the Tom Thibodeau

Speaker 1 when he would play the starter. He played Joke Noah like 44 minutes in the middle of February.
Yeah. And then they just all break down.
Like, yeah, that actually, like, maybe you shouldn't do that.

Speaker 4 The math nerds didn't figure that one out when they were looking at their win probability.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Giants, I don't know. DJ, DJ's your guy.
He fumbles so much.

Speaker 4 Skip Balis is calling him Danny Pennys instead of Danny Dimes. So Kings stay kings.

Speaker 1 I really wish they had let Eli in for that last drive.

Speaker 4 Eli in the rain, he looks so sad. So sad.

Speaker 4 I just wanted his wife to go down on the sidelines and smooch him like in the notebook. Yeah.
Just make out with him, like straight up tongue kissing. He's entering his second like adolescence.

Speaker 4 He was playing Flip Cup earlier this week. Yes.
I want to see him doing a sloppy makeout with maybe a ludicrous song, the Usher Yeah song playing in the background.

Speaker 4 Like it's a basement dance party back in 2000.

Speaker 1 The windows to the wall. Yeah, play some yin-yang twins.

Speaker 4 Just show Eli Manning dry humping on the sidelines. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just sweaty as hell. Yeah, it's the shirt untucked.
So everyone should read this article. I think it was in ESPN.
Ian O'Connor, I think, wrote about it.

Speaker 1 He did like a thing about eli and eli is one of those guys who i don't think anyone will ever fully appreciate it because appreciate him outside of giants fans reading it he's just a fucking awesome guy like and i hate the mannings but eli

Speaker 1 You know, there was an anecdote that every single away game, he had someone in the in the building

Speaker 1 get him a 12-pack that he could share with his offensive line on the bus ride to the plane. Yeah.
He didn't.

Speaker 4 He's a white-collar Wade Boggs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he literally did not. Yeah, he exactly.
He just one or two. Responsible drinking.

Speaker 1 He doesn't read the press to the point, and everyone always, like, all the pro athletes are like, oh, yeah, I don't read the press.

Speaker 1 He didn't read the press to the point that his dad, Archie, had to tell him when he had, like, issues in the locker room. He had to be like, hey, Eli, Odell said this.
Maybe heads up. He was

Speaker 1 not aloof, but like.

Speaker 4 Kind of aloof.

Speaker 1 Yeah, kind of, but in a good way, in an endearing way. So

Speaker 4 I'm going to miss eli and uh he deserves credit for being having a hilarious career where he was remarkably average and then reached points of just insane heights at at two different levels he always did seem like a good guy one thing i want to address directly to the people at the red zone channel yeah more specifically andrew ceciliano don't tell me when something is about to become a meme yeah during a show yeah he did a cut-in to eli manning today where he was like and it looks folks this is going to be a meme.

Speaker 4 And it was just a shot of Eli on the sideline getting rained on. He wasn't even making the Manning face.

Speaker 1 They need to, the red zone, both Ciceliano and Scott Hanson.

Speaker 4 Who I love, by the way. I love you guys.

Speaker 1 They need to take gambling training.

Speaker 4 Spread zone.

Speaker 1 Even in week 17, they were fucking up so bad. I didn't even see the end of the Broncos Raiders game when the Raiders were driving to score.

Speaker 1 The Bears-Vikings game, the Bears were minus three and they had first and goal on the eight down two.

Speaker 1 Like if they score there, they cover the spread. So it's just

Speaker 4 someone has to teach them.

Speaker 1 I'm sick of them talking about, especially in week 17.

Speaker 4 No one has fantasy. Why don't you be the change you want to see in the world?

Speaker 1 I'll write a doc. Like I'll write like a whole handbook for them.

Speaker 4 A handbook. I was going to say just tweet at him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I have.

Speaker 1 As it's happening. Maybe we'll have them on again and just educate them.

Speaker 4 We'll put them through gambling training camps. Yeah, I should have.

Speaker 1 Next year I'll I'll record every single red zone. I should have.

Speaker 1 Damn it.

Speaker 4 Record all the times they fucked up?

Speaker 1 No, just imagine recording all the red zones just to play it like late at night in like

Speaker 1 April. Yeah.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 I wish I had done that. You know what it's like? Like you just pull up week 12.
You're like, yeah, I'm just going to do the witching hour from week 12 again.

Speaker 4 The worst part about being a broadcaster on the red zone channel is you don't ever get to watch the red zone. Yeah.
So you don't get to see what it's like on the other side of the screen.

Speaker 4 They need to watch tape. They need to go back every week, like Matt and Nagy, spend two days reviewing their performance.

Speaker 1 Get into time travel. All right, Colts, Jaguars.
We're wrapping up here.

Speaker 4 It's American Ninja Warrior portion of the evening. It is.

Speaker 1 Things are starting to get weird. Doug Marone may be fired, could be fired, is fired, not fired.

Speaker 4 Schrödinger's coach.

Speaker 1 I don't know. They might have saved his job.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 They were feisty. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I honestly, the Colts, the only thing I could say for the Colts is Someone needs to start the rumor that Andrew Luck's coming back because what we thought the Colts were when we were like, oh man, can you believe the Colts holding it all together?

Speaker 1 That did not pan out.

Speaker 4 They did not hold it together. No, I think that the Jaguars are going to clean house.
I think everyone's going to be gone. Because they fired Coughlin two weeks ahead of schedule.

Speaker 4 I get the feeling that they want to start over all anew.

Speaker 1 Here's the only thing.

Speaker 1 Doug Marone strikes me as the type of guy who can get in Shad Khan's

Speaker 1 office and have an emotional meeting and save his job.

Speaker 4 He is that type of guy. I wouldn't say emotional.
He's from the Bronx. I think he could intimidate him.

Speaker 5 No, but he's not.

Speaker 1 Doug Rowan's got a little. He's listening.
He's a huge Elton John or no, Billy Joel guy. He's got a little, you know, Italian restaurant in him.
He's got a little

Speaker 1 romantic side of him. He can get in there.
He's going to woo Shad Khan. Can't you just see that report? Like after an emotional eight-hour, like Doug Rowan will bring some sandwiches.
He'll sit there.

Speaker 4 Way too many sandwiches.

Speaker 1 He will fight for his job until Shad Khan's like, you know what? I have to go to my yacht in the Mediterranean. You know what? You just keep your job.
That's fine.

Speaker 4 I could see Doug Rowan walking in there, pinstripe suit, double-breasted, obviously.

Speaker 1 Tommy gun.

Speaker 4 He's got a violin case, but it's actually a violin inside of it.

Speaker 1 It's actually just a fucking huge party sub.

Speaker 4 Yeah, inside his violin case. And he sits down and he goes, it's a, I don't know, you own Fulham? You own Fulham FC?

Speaker 1 It's a nice football team.

Speaker 4 Be a nice soccer team. Be a shame if something happened to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wouldn't want something to happen. You know, someone to, you know, your striker just trips and falls.

Speaker 4 No, that's to be real shame.

Speaker 1 Burns his knee.

Speaker 4 Thinks that. Real shame.

Speaker 1 Someone takes a little air out of the ball.

Speaker 4 He's like, you know this about me, but I paint houses.

Speaker 1 Doug Marone, keep your job.

Speaker 4 He also, he's a big Shakespeare guy. So he could go in and start just like doing soliloquies and monologues from Othello off the top of his head.

Speaker 1 I just have a feeling.

Speaker 1 If you gone to my head, I'd say he's probably fired. But Doug Marone does strike me.
He's a fighter.

Speaker 1 He strikes me as that guy who will get in a room and he will fight for his job and there'll be some crying and some laughing and it will just be a whirlwind and then boom, he keeps his job.

Speaker 1 And then if the Jaguars start like one and three, he'll get fired in week five.

Speaker 4 Well, here's the question. If Doug Marone was fired, would another team hire him immediately?

Speaker 1 For a job, yes. Maybe not a head coaching job.

Speaker 4 He could be coordinator.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think he'd have that one year period and then maybe get another one.

Speaker 4 Right. So there's a guy like Ron Rivera who's going to get another head coaching job immediately.
Maybe the Redskins. Maybe the Redskins.
Hopefully, for you. So it's not Marvin Lewis.

Speaker 4 That's what I'm hearing: is that it's I'm tracking you or Leroy.

Speaker 4 I am working with

Speaker 4 Leroy. In conjunction with my dog, tracking jets, and I've got Dan Snyder's, he's got a block tail number.
I'm able to track his jets.

Speaker 1 So I'm all over.

Speaker 4 Here's what I can report on Dan Snyder's plane activity. He has been going back and forth from Charlotte, North Carolina to the Bahamas, which is where he interviews coaches.

Speaker 4 No, he interviews coaches. That's where he took Mike Shanahan like 10 years ago, and they both got drunk off Crown Royal.

Speaker 4 And he convinced Mike Shanahan while under the influence of alcohol to be his head coach. Okay.

Speaker 4 So he's been taking a jet from Charlotte to the Bahamas. I'm sure that they've talked to Ron Rivera.
I'm sure that Ron Rivera was on one of those flights.

Speaker 4 I think Ron Rivera is going to be the next head coach of the RFs.

Speaker 4 And I think they're going to get... an actual GM.
So

Speaker 4 we're not going to be doing as much winning off the field now that Bruce Allen's gone. But hopefully we'll get one that knows what they're doing on it.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like it.
I'll look it up.

Speaker 4 You know what I'm just doing to myself right now? It just dawned on me. Like I was talking about the Detroit Lions fans earlier.

Speaker 4 After they convinced themselves that they won't get hurt again and they finally see that little bit of daylight, I'm seeing a little bit of daylight right now and I'm just going to get smashed.

Speaker 4 Listen, I'm going to get my dick shut in a revolving door.

Speaker 1 I've been in the revolving door. I mean, I'm not this year, but I've been in the revolving door the last few years.
Getting a new coach is the most exciting thing you can do if your franchise stinks.

Speaker 1 It really is.

Speaker 1 You can sell yourself for for at least two months that things will be different this time around.

Speaker 4 I could also see Dan Snyder trying to not miss out on the next Kyle Shanahan or Todd McVay or Matt LaFleur that they had on their staff and just promoting their assistant.

Speaker 4 I think he's their offensive creditor, he's a young guy, to just being the new head coach and just going after that.

Speaker 4 Just chasing a three-year-old dream. I like that.

Speaker 1 All right. Steelers, Ravens.
We're wrapping up. Steelers, Ravens.
Ravens are awesome. 14-2.
By far the odds on favor to win the Super Bowl. I don't really know.
I wouldn't bet against them.

Speaker 4 Would you take... No, they're my team.

Speaker 1 Wait, would you take Ravens versus the Field?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't think I do that, but I would take...

Speaker 4 Because the Chiefs can beat them. Yeah,

Speaker 1 but the Ravens are by far the best team in the NFL right now, and the team that seems like they have the fewest holes.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so the Chiefs can beat them in the AFC. In the NFC, there are a couple teams that I think.
I think the Saints could beat them, and I think that the 49ers could beat them.

Speaker 4 So I would not take them against the field. But this was also, we'd be remiss to not mention the RG3 Matt Flynn game.
Yes. So he got himself.

Speaker 4 Robert Griffin playing for four quarters and not getting a knee injury is his equivalent of throwing six touchdowns in week 17.

Speaker 1 See, I can do it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So RG3, congratulations.

Speaker 1 I'm not made of glass.

Speaker 4 Maybe you earned yourself a contract.

Speaker 1 For Steelers fans, we had the Christmas Day tweet from Big Ben, who has blocked everyone.

Speaker 1 And it's always funny because

Speaker 1 I don't like to take ownership over things, but it feels like that's been stolen from us. The blocked by Big Ben thing.

Speaker 1 We were on it like five years ago.

Speaker 4 When it started out,

Speaker 4 I think Florio said that what was going on was that everybody that followed me on Twitter was blocked by Big Ben. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then it kind of spread from there, and we've been talking about it for a long time.

Speaker 4 Now it's like... Every time he tweets something out, it's like, wow, can you believe that we're blocked by Big Ben?

Speaker 1 What did I ever say? Whatever. It's been stolen from us, but we don't care.
But either way, I went on private mode to look at what he tweeted. He tweeted a hilarious picture

Speaker 1 that, you know, you can do that.

Speaker 1 That's a move. Just to check up on Big Ben.
He tweeted a hilarious picture of his family where his face was looking larger than ever. And then a note, P.S.

Speaker 1 He did a P.S. to a picture.

Speaker 1 P.S., contrary to recent reports out there about my football future and my uncertainty about playing again, I am working hard and am more determined than ever to come back stronger and better than ever next year.

Speaker 1 So there it is. Steelers fans, you're okay.

Speaker 4 Big Ben will be back.

Speaker 1 He will be back. And you know what?

Speaker 1 If you're Big Ben, you saw that defense the way they played, you want to be back because if you just play average football, the Steelers win 10 games this year and are in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Do you think that Big Ben's game would be hurt at all if he came back at 315 pounds and played? I don't think that it would.

Speaker 1 He could maybe then break the record for longest touchdown if they ran like a little Philly special.

Speaker 1 Yeah. From like the 40.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he could do that. I was just going to say the longest touchdown time-wise because he could just sit back in the pocket for 10 seconds and have the entire team hanging off him.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. No, I think if he could do if he could do yoga, if he was 300 plus and yoga, so he had like the flexibility of a sumo wrestler, I actually think he'd be fine.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because I mean, his game is basically drop back in the pocket, stumble around clumsily for a couple seconds, have one player hanging on your shoulder, and then throw a deep bomb.

Speaker 1 And then what we could have is the offensive line carry him down the field like Byron Lefwich, except he doesn't have an injury. He's just fat.

Speaker 4 Just every play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Just like, hey, we got to get Big Ben down there.
All right.

Speaker 1 Wrapping up last game, and then we'll do a little college football playoffs and send you on your way. Titans, Texans.
I'm happy that we're a Derrick Henry podcast. 211 yards, three touchdowns.

Speaker 1 Tractor Cedo. Derrick Henry season.
What a fucking beast. Rushing record.
Rushing.

Speaker 1 That sucks, by the way.

Speaker 1 The rushing title used to feel like something. Remember when we were kids, it was like, who's going to win the rushing title?

Speaker 4 Well, ever since running back by committee started happening, you don't get the high numbers, you don't get 1,900, 2,000 risks. How many yards did he end up with?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Let me guess.
16 or something? 16.

Speaker 4 Yeah, somewhere around the 1,600 or something. But there were hard yards.
Hard yards. Hard yards.
He finishes runs.

Speaker 1 Yes, and finishes the season strong. And AJ McCarron played.
And I just, anytime AJ McCarron pops up, I just look up the agent

Speaker 1 sushi place. Yes.
Which I didn't notice this until today. AJ McCarron has a sushi place in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, hotbed for sushi.
Yep.

Speaker 4 And it's all catfish.

Speaker 1 It's called Asian. How do you pronounce it? Asian.

Speaker 4 But it's Asian. But the J is part of the Asian.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So he's AJ and it's Asian.

Speaker 1 So in perfect A.J. McCarran fashion, he took the AJ and put it sideways and put in a little script so it looks like it's Chinese lettering.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay. okay.
So he invented his own character in the alphabet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the flare where you're like,

Speaker 1 is this an Asian restaurant? Oh, yeah, there's an AJ sideways. I like it.
That's it.

Speaker 4 He should have just had his ginormous chest tattoo be the logo for his restaurant. Yeah, look at that.

Speaker 1 See? The AJ. Oh, yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 4 That's very classy.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he definitely has that tattooed somewhere on his body.

Speaker 4 Have you seen his chest tattoo?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
He's in the business tattoo.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, he and Kevin Durant.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 And then we'll finish here with the slate talking about next weekend wild card round. Wait, wait, real quick.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So, yeah, next weekend wild.
Yeah, I was going to dovetail into that too because the Titans are going to play against the Patriots in Foxborough. Ryan Tannehill as the quarterback.

Speaker 4 I didn't look this up properly, but I'm pretty sure that I looked it up well enough to be correct about it. Okay.

Speaker 4 I think Ryan Tannehill has the best winning percentage of any current starting quarterback against the Patriots with more than two starts. Okay.

Speaker 1 I didn't look it up well. I agree with that story.

Speaker 4 I think he's four and six. And I'm going through in my mind the other quarterbacks in the league that might compare to that.
Drew Brees might. Drew Brees might be the one.
Drew Brees might.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that sounds right.

Speaker 4 I think Drew Brees might be the only one that has a better career record. So, like, going,

Speaker 4 batting 400 against the Patriots as a starting quarterback.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson might be two and one, three and one.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Because they don't play enough. They don't, yeah.

Speaker 4 He used to play him twice a year, and he would win one of those two.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think you might be right.

Speaker 4 Damn. So he's not going to be afraid of the Patriots.

Speaker 1 I'm just going through my brain real quick, and yeah, there's. Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 Eli, but he's not

Speaker 1 a quarterback.

Speaker 4 Lamar, but he's only got.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Patrick Mahomes is, I don't know, one and one. One and two.
One and two. Yeah.
All right, so that was stats by us. Okay.
I like it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so what you're hearing right now is myself talking my own brain into betting on the Titans.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so and then the Houston Saturday game. I don't, I feel like they're just fucking with us at this point where just pencil them in, pen them in.

Speaker 1 Saturday ESPN game that everyone's kind of watching, but kind of also doing like a bunch of stuff because they got to get...

Speaker 1 I'm talking about the rest of America. I'm not talking about us because we'll be watching it.
But that game is always so funny. So bad, and it's going to be bad probably.

Speaker 1 I think the Bills are going to win, but they're going to win it ugly.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I agree. I don't think that there's

Speaker 4 a worse home field advantage than in Houston Saturday afternoon wild card weekend. I think the Bills are going to dominate.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 4 Is there a rule that's in the Texans' official handbook saying that they have to start the most hilarious quarterback week 17 every year? Yes. Because I feel like it's great.
It's either an A.J.

Speaker 4 McCarron, T.J. Yates probably did it a few times.

Speaker 4 Tom Savage, I'm sure, started a week 17 game for the Texans. Oh, yeah, he did.
But yeah, Whedon.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Whedon was definitely around a little bit.

Speaker 4 He is,

Speaker 4 I don't know, he's probably at his kids' high school football games. Damn.

Speaker 1 No, his kids are out of high school. They're in college.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Brandon Whedon is

Speaker 1 a free agent. Someone scoop him up.
Yeah. Someone scoop him up.
Okay, let's do, we'll do the full preview on Thursday. Remember, we're going to drop that a little early on Thursday.

Speaker 4 Ooh, also Saturday night. Oh, yeah.
After

Speaker 4 the

Speaker 4 late game is going to be. 2015.

Speaker 1 Patriots Titans.

Speaker 4 Patriots Titans, if you're in Long Island, come out to see Pup Punk play. If you're on Long Island, come out to see Pup Punk Play.
We're playing at Milkays. We played there like

Speaker 4 two months ago, I think. It was an awesome time.
Yeah. Great time on Long Island.
Saturday night,

Speaker 4 January 4th.

Speaker 4 Come out. It's very, very cheap.
Get loaded with us. Scream live updates on what the score of the Patriots game is so I can make sure that all my bets are winning at the time on stage.

Speaker 4 It's going to be a great time.

Speaker 1 And you know what it is? It's birthday month. Birthday month.
What up? What'd you get us for birthday month, Liam?

Speaker 4 Jumps in January, too.

Speaker 1 What'd you get us for birthday month? You're going to have to wait. Bro, birthday month.
We celebrate the whole month.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do college football real quick. So, LSU,

Speaker 1 that was awesome.

Speaker 4 A shit pumping.

Speaker 1 That was fucking awesome.

Speaker 4 Seven touchdowns in the first half from Joe Burrow.

Speaker 1 No, he didn't have seven.

Speaker 1 I thought he threw one in the second half.

Speaker 4 I think he had seven in the first half hour.

Speaker 1 He ran for the last one in the second half.

Speaker 4 He had seven touchdowns in the first half. He had a passer rating of 200.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 4 I don't know how college football determines passer rating, but it was 200. That sounds like a lot.

Speaker 1 It was, I said this while the game was going on, but it was when you play EA college football and you schedule FC Midwest to absolutely kill them week one so you can get 10 touchdowns and do your pat, you know, stat padding for Heisman.

Speaker 1 He did that in the fucking semifinal.

Speaker 1 That was crazy. Yep.

Speaker 1 So good.

Speaker 4 Oklahoma's players looked afraid on offense when they were going up against that LSU defense.

Speaker 1 PFT,

Speaker 1 I want to, right now, here and now, say that Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the college football playoffs. Okay.
I'm so sick

Speaker 1 of getting sold on Oklahoma's defense being fixed and this and this.

Speaker 4 One step further. No.
The entire Big 12. Done.
One-year ban for the Big 12. Out.

Speaker 1 Out.

Speaker 1 I can't do it.

Speaker 1 And I was rooting. I was going to Georgia.
I was rooting for LSU. I bet on LSU, but I still wanted a competitive game because it was a game that was just like, no, I wanted it to be.

Speaker 1 I wanted to be at least like, that game was over.

Speaker 1 So we're going to New Orleans. We're going to New Orleans for the national championship.
I texted you guys seven minutes in the first quarter. I'm like, I just booked our hotels in New Orleans.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because that's how fast it was over.

Speaker 4 It was one of those games where I was laughing because it was so out of hand so early.

Speaker 1 So out of hand.

Speaker 4 To me, I did not want a competitive game.

Speaker 1 I wanted at least

Speaker 4 I wanted it to get worse. I wanted Joe Burrow to throw for 10 touchdowns.

Speaker 1 I did want Edo to leave him in just because it looked like the funnest thing that you could ever do. To be Joe Burrow in that moment where you're playing a video game in real life and in the zone.

Speaker 4 And LSU's backup running back turns out is really good, too. Yeah.
So they're going to have another two weeks for Edwards or Laird to get back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Jefferson had four touchdowns apart.

Speaker 4 Jefferson's a beast. Randy Moss was in the crowd crying when his son was scoring touchdowns.

Speaker 1 Someone who's friends with Randy Moss,

Speaker 1 get us hooked up with him so we can interview him on Monday before the national championship game, please. Yes.
That's our please.

Speaker 4 I promise you, it'll be a good interview.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to be there Sunday through Tuesday. So let's have some fucking beers.

Speaker 4 And that was awesome. The question is: is there any way that the Bengals don't take Joe Burrow number one? No.
Could they talk themselves into

Speaker 1 the Bengals?

Speaker 4 They draft Chase Young because they have to compete against Lamar and Baker.

Speaker 1 I mean, they can because of the Bengals, but that would be so stupid. Joe Burrow has so much fucking swag and like cool to him, and just he just eats defenses alive and doesn't even smirk.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's just this steely-eyed, he's an assassin. So good.

Speaker 4 Baby face is so good.

Speaker 1 And Coach O, god damn it, I'm so happy for him. So that's going to be, that will be the loudest stadium we'll ever be in in our life, right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think if Coach Orleans, if LSU, if Coach O wins the national championship in New Orleans, he becomes king of Louisiana. Yes.
And he might already be Mike the Tiger serves by his side.

Speaker 1 He might already be. As his hand.
Yes. All right.
The other game, Ohio State Clemson.

Speaker 1 Here's a stat for you, PFT. Okay.
There have been 17 college football playoff games. 12 of the 17 have been won by Clemson or Alabama.

Speaker 4 That's insane. That's a pretty impressive stat.

Speaker 1 That's insane. Clemson won this game.
I thought they were dead. Trevor Lawrence, when he got the targeting call, which was a correct call, people were mad about it.
I understand.

Speaker 1 I think if you're an Ohio State fan, you have...

Speaker 4 You'd be mad about other stuff.

Speaker 1 You should be mad about the fumble because I feel like that was a weird situation where

Speaker 1 it just looked like a fumble. I know that when they played it fast, whatever.
Ohio State,

Speaker 1 you can be mad if you're an Ohio State fan, but what Trevor Lawrence did, that run, the fact that he's never lost, he's insane. The hair flip.
And Dabo, you know,

Speaker 1 the God train was on full fucking display after.

Speaker 4 His quote was, the favor of God was just with us tonight. So God reached down and he said, I'm not the Ohio State University God.
Yeah. I'm the Clemson University.

Speaker 1 Also so perfect that they showed Urban Meyer 10 seconds before the interception.

Speaker 4 I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with that because it looked like he was coaching. Yes.
He had he was on the sidelines. Was he there?

Speaker 4 Did Ohio State bring him on the sideline or was he there as a member of the media? I don't know. Because he looked like he was coaching.

Speaker 1 He was wearing all black and it was the Grim Reaper just showed up and boom, you lost on the next play.

Speaker 4 Hands on his knees. Then right after the game was over, they ate a bunch of Papa John's.
Yep.

Speaker 1 As his tradition. As his tradition for a losing Ohio State team, no, but Clemson deserves all the credit because, as much as there were some controversial calls, and I understand Ohio State.

Speaker 1 Listen, Ohio State, you also have the national championship against Miami, where the flag came out of the fucking stands in that game to keep that game alive. So, you

Speaker 1 there's some karma balance. We're taking it back.

Speaker 4 That was 20 years ago.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, I'm just saying Warren Sapper's on the field.

Speaker 4 Listen, there's Cosby sweater.

Speaker 1 There's some karma, but

Speaker 1 you have reason to be upset. I will fully endorse Ohio State fans being angry, making YouTube videos, breaking it down.
Do it all because you deserve it.

Speaker 1 There were some suspect calls, and of course, everyone has the SEC, ACC

Speaker 1 conspiracy. Follow the money.

Speaker 1 Follow the money.

Speaker 1 But that is also, with all that said, is taking away from an unreal performance by Clemson and a team that looked dead.

Speaker 1 And Trevor Lawrence looked like he was going to come out of the game and come out of the semifinal. And they came back and were just nails.

Speaker 4 Imagine saying following the money to explain the fact that Clemson got into the national championship game instead of Ohio State. Yeah.
Like, Ohio State is a much, much bigger name.

Speaker 4 I know what they're saying, which is that ESPN owns rights to the ACC. ACC, so it's better.
This is something like

Speaker 4 some long game for ESPN to pay off the refs to get Clemson in so that

Speaker 4 you can marginally increase the film.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you followed the money.

Speaker 4 So next year, the Clemson Wick Forest game is going to have 120,000 viewers instead of 100,000.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Sounds like you correctly followed the family. Fixed it.
But I'll say this about Ohio State fans. They are probably the most qualified fan base to break down all the officiating errors.

Speaker 4 Like you said, with YouTube videos, with message board posts.

Speaker 4 That's perfect. Ohio State is really, really good at that.
They've got

Speaker 4 swarms of very passionate fans out there. If you think what are specialties of different fan bases, I think

Speaker 4 Arkansas at tracking planes.

Speaker 4 I think LSU at

Speaker 4 barbecuing animals before games that look like they're from Harry Potter.

Speaker 4 I think Ohio State putting together a YouTube video with the background music of Loose Change, pausing it, showing different angles, different camera angles.

Speaker 4 It's now your mantle to take over from Michigan fans after that fourth down call two years ago. Yes.
So it's on you to represent the Big Ten in this, and I'm sure that you're up for the challenge.

Speaker 1 You got it. You got it.

Speaker 1 Can I do a quick just recap of the bowl games? Because I watch too many bowl games.

Speaker 1 I'm in that zone this two-week stretch where I just my life just becomes like watching football and really bad football. So quickly, Independence Bowl had 18 punts.
It was awesome.

Speaker 1 14-0 Louisiana Tech. And they had the Shreveport mayor

Speaker 1 give like a come to Shreveport. And the

Speaker 1 behind him, it was Gray Skies. They could pick any fucking day.

Speaker 4 Also, if you've ever been to Shreveport, there's so many better things to highlight in Shreveport. You have like seven casinos.

Speaker 4 You're an hour away from the world's worst strip club in Waco, Texas.

Speaker 4 There's a lot of great things about Shreveport, Louisiana that you can highlight. And just having like the cityscape with an overcast day, you could have done a little bit of a bad thing.

Speaker 1 The Brown River. Yeah, the so yeah, the Independence Bowl was my favorite random bowl game that you get sucked in watching, and it's so bad it becomes good.
18 punts.

Speaker 1 The quick lane bowl, Eastern Michigan. I love they all wore mechanic shirts, the coaching staff.

Speaker 1 They gave it their all against Pitt. The Military Bowl, UNC, Sam Howell is awesome.

Speaker 4 Wait, you didn't even mention how they broke through a center block. Yeah, they do that every game, Bill.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's awesome. Military Bull, Sam Howell is awesome.
He is circle him because he's going to be sort of like a Heisman guy in a couple of years. He's a freshman, true freshman.

Speaker 1 Holiday Bull, USC, is soft, softest, soft of all time. I will whoop that ass, Big Ten tough.

Speaker 4 And they're not firing their head coach at USC.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's crazy. No, they're not.

Speaker 4 So what's his name? Ari? Ari Abraham? He was incorrect with that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was material.

Speaker 4 Wait, was it him or was it the person from Sports Illustrated?

Speaker 1 I can't remember. The new

Speaker 4 SB Nation Sports Illustrated person.

Speaker 1 That game was weird because Slovis got hurt and he's going to be a Heisman guy next year, but he got hurt, so it kind of changed it.

Speaker 1 But I bet Iowa, because they don't lose the Hayden Fry just passed away game.

Speaker 4 And also.

Speaker 1 Do you see they took the decal off because that's his decal? He created that. Yep.

Speaker 4 That was a fucking cool move. Yeah, so I saw them play, and I just thought Pittsburgh Steelers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Which he actually, when I think they're, I think it goes that when he came and took over the Iowa program, he basically created Iowa and what it is.

Speaker 1 He asked the Steelers if he could use basically their exact uniform setup to make them look tough. He did the pink locker rooms.

Speaker 1 Legendary coach passed away, I think like 10 days ago or so, but that was a no-brainer. Pinstripe bowl, fuck the pinstripe ball.
I don't know if you saw.

Speaker 1 Wake Forest in Michigan State scored 41 points in the first half, and the over-under was 50, and they only scored one touchdown in the second half.

Speaker 1 Including Wake Forest trying to let Michigan State score, and Michigan State tripped over their own player. Okay.
But the Big Ten won, so who cares? Cheese-It was not the same.

Speaker 1 That's all my bull recap.

Speaker 4 Cheese It Bowl was definitely not the same. Not the same.
This is what happens when you try to capture magic.

Speaker 1 Right. They don't understand.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 you can't make it happen again. They do this.

Speaker 1 This is like what you were saying with Ciceliano being like, ooh, meme this. That's not how it works.

Speaker 4 It has to happen organically.

Speaker 1 The Cheez-It Bowl was actually the Independence Bowl this year. The Independence Bowl had 18 punts and it was so fucking bad.
It was awesome to watch.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it happens once, it could still happen this week because we have some random bowls.

Speaker 1 It's got to be a bowl game that no one's excited for, that is really bad, and then you get locked in and you feel like you're watching it with like only 200 other people. That's the Cheez-It Bowl.

Speaker 4 That's magic. It develops a community around it.
Right. Also, one last note about the Ohio State Clemson game.
This was a tweet from Eric Sorenson. He's a sports reporter.

Speaker 4 He says, a Clemson student journalist just told an established Ohio State writer to stop cheering in the press box.

Speaker 4 That's been the highlight of this night.

Speaker 1 That's the highlight.

Speaker 4 That's the highlight. That's the highlight.

Speaker 1 That's huge. All right, let's wrap up.

Speaker 1 Again, we're going to be new show on Thursday morning. Yeah, so sorry, Thursday.
Sorry, no show Thursday morning.

Speaker 4 No show Thursday morning. We're going to take New Year's Day off.
Right.

Speaker 1 Because we figured it's weird to do a show on Thursday morning and then a show on Friday morning. So instead, we're going to try to release Friday's show on Thursday at like 6 or 7 p.m.

Speaker 1 So we're going to tape it early. Whole preview for the NFL wildcard round, whole recap of Wednesday's bowl games.
Wisconsin's going to win the Rose Bowl PFT.

Speaker 4 You're locking that up right now? I hope. Okay.
I'd like to do an experiment real quick. Just something I thought about earlier today.
Yeah. Alexa, download part of my take.

Speaker 4 Alexa, download part in my take.

Speaker 1 Alexa, play the best Alexis, Texas Texas video you can find.

Speaker 4 Alexa, go to www.p-O-R-N-H-U-B.c-O-M.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Wait, oh, we forgot to do who's back. Oh, who's back in the wait?

Speaker 1 That was a good ending, though. Let's keep this in.
Quick, who's back? Real quick. Go.
Bubba, Bubba.

Speaker 1 New Year's resolutions. Yes.
Are back. Yes.

Speaker 4 I feel like, big cat, you're always big on them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got one this year. I'm going to go 20, 20, PFD.
You in it with me? 20 push-ups, 20 squats every day.

Speaker 1 Never changing. People have been saying, like, oh, add like five a month.
No, no, no. 20, 20.
That's all we're doing.

Speaker 4 I like a little variety, though.

Speaker 1 No, that's all we're doing. We're just getting our, we're getting the base level strength.
By

Speaker 1 this time next year, I'll be doing 20 push-ups in like four seconds.

Speaker 4 I want to have big-ass arms. Okay.
So will that get me there?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay.

Speaker 4 20 push-ups a day, 20 squats? I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, I don't know about that.

Speaker 4 Okay. I want to get the bench press working here, get work on that.
Actually, I had an idea last week.

Speaker 4 I went to one of these Orange Theory Fitness classes, which is one of these cult-like fitness experience things where they put a monitor on you. They tell you how many splat points you get.

Speaker 4 I want to do a different, yeah, splat points. That's what they're called, but it's their proprietary measurement of how fit you get and how less of a slob you become.
Sounds legit. Yep.

Speaker 4 So I'm going to do... I want to do a different cult-like fitness experience every month.

Speaker 4 So whether that's CrossFit, CrossFit, whether that's

Speaker 4 Pilates, Barry's Boot Camp. Barry's Boot Camp, I'll do one of those.

Speaker 4 I want some suggestions for different new trendy fitness things for me to try, and I'll review them. I'll probably just blog them all.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I feel like that would be a fun thing to do.

Speaker 1 Make yourself fit. Yeah, and then I also, I'm going to take one three every time I play pickup basketball.

Speaker 1 That's my New Year's resolution. Just take at least one.
And then maybe take two if I'm hot. I had like kind of a similar.

Speaker 4 I want to join a men's league softball team.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I'm in. I like wine.
I haven't played softball in a while. Yeah.
I'm in. And the Rubik's Cube.
Yeah, Rubik's Cube. And the Rubik's Cube.

Speaker 4 I'm in for the softball league.

Speaker 1 As long as it's like noon on Tuesdays. I'm in.
No, I have the yak. Two o'clock on Tuesdays.
I'm in.

Speaker 4 Okay. We'll set up our own later.
We'll just get a hoop in the office here. How about this?

Speaker 4 I just want to drink more water.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've always tried to drink more water.

Speaker 4 I want to drink more water, and I'm going to say it out loud. Not too much, though.

Speaker 1 Remember, Tom Brady almost drowned himself.

Speaker 4 Right, but I won't get sunburned.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 So I'm going to quit smoking. You don't smoke, though.
I do smoke occasionally. So instead of jeweling, instead of jeweling, now I smoke cigarettes now.

Speaker 4 I want to quit smoking.

Speaker 1 I'm also going to quit smoking. Thank you.
With you. You and I are going to quit smoking.

Speaker 4 If you see me in public with a cigarette. Same.
Slap it out of my face. Slap big cat in his face.

Speaker 1 Except, no, wait, don't do it. No, that's how you're helping me.
No, after you smile. So

Speaker 1 I'm going to quit smoking smoking.

Speaker 4 All right, fine. Slap big cat.

Speaker 1 Then same thing.

Speaker 4 You're going to pick up smoking. So I get slapped.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Deal. Take the slap off.
Deal.

Speaker 4 So don't slap me. Take the slap deal off.
Slap big cat. If you see me smoking, slap me.

Speaker 1 Let's quit smoking. But not in New Orleans.
Doesn't count New Orleans. Yeah, that's true.
Does not count New Orleans or Miami.

Speaker 4 Yeah, New Orleans, Miami, or

Speaker 4 at the Combine.

Speaker 1 Or Atlanta if we go to the Final Four.

Speaker 4 Third week's a big one.

Speaker 1 Combine.

Speaker 4 If I'm in Japan for the Olympics.

Speaker 1 We're going to quit smoking in the city of New York On weekdays.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 4 Before 8 p.m.

Speaker 1 No, we.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. All right.
I was going to say, our softball team's at 2.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's at 2, so we find out a post-game.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, I'm going to have to.

Speaker 4 No, you got to rip a couple lung darks if you're out with

Speaker 4 a post-game drink up with the lads.

Speaker 1 We'll do our post-game. Well, our softball game will be at 2.
Our post-game will be at 9. Yep.

Speaker 1 Who's your who's back?

Speaker 4 My who's back of the week is

Speaker 4 Papa John. Yeah.
So Papa John is officially now a Kentucky fan. He has burned his bridges

Speaker 4 at Louisville, so he's not going to be able to go back on that campus and be the king that he once was then. But you can't keep Papa John out of the national sports discussion.

Speaker 4 So he's wearing blue shirts. He's sitting like two rows behind Caliperi at home games in Kentucky.
He is now a Kentucky Super fan. Incredible.
So what a rebrand.

Speaker 1 What a rebrand for Papa John. The Papa.
All right.

Speaker 4 He's down to, what do you think his New Year's resolution is? Like, eat 25 pizzas a month? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I think he goes more.

Speaker 4 No saying the N-word for three days.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 only say the N-word if it's quoting someone else who said it. But I also say it so I could quote myself.
Yep. Yeah, that's the rule.
All right. And kind of similar, my who's back is Kevin Spacey.

Speaker 1 So not totally similar, but Kevin Spacey made another creepy video on Christmas to just creep us all out. What the hell, Kevin Spacey? It was.

Speaker 1 He literally threatened to kill all of us with his kindness. And then another one of his accusers died.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Listen, it's fucked up. I think the creepiest part of that video is how he was working that log.
Like, I don't think Kevin Spacey's ever had to build or maintain a fire before.

Speaker 4 I'm pretty sure it was a gas fireplace. Yeah.
And he was just poking a synthetic log.

Speaker 1 LED screen.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he was poking it, just stabbing it. And he was in character as Frank Underwood.

Speaker 1 I watched that video and needed to take a shower. It was so fucking creepy.
So, yeah, he's back.

Speaker 4 I would rather he just appear in character as the dad from American Pie and just like smoke smoke weed in a garage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen to the who.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and work out. Just do that, Kevin Spacey.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, that guy's a creep. All right.

Speaker 4 Can I say American Pie?

Speaker 1 He made American Beauty. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've been a way different story if he was American Pie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would. Very.
Yeah, I don't think it would work that way.

Speaker 4 He'd be getting his dick stuck in other stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. We'll see everyone Thursday.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Dog in your way.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today isn't my day to find you shy away.

Speaker 1 Though I'll be coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 Take on me. I'll be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 Seven needless to say.

Speaker 1 I've all said it.

Speaker 1 Spoppy storm will let them wait.

Speaker 1 So I'm learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Say

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Things that you say

Speaker 1 every little while

Speaker 1 was just to pay my worry away.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 Shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Stay away, come.

Speaker 1 Stay

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 on me,

Speaker 1 take up me, take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up,

Speaker 1 shake on me.