Recapping A Wild Week 17 And Bowl Mania

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On today's part of my take, week 17. Holy shit, wasn't an awesome day.
Oh my God, we're buzzing because we just came off of the 49ers-Seahawks game. Week 17 was insane.
A lot of things changed changed playoff seating up for grabs crazy losses Jameis we also have college football playoff to get to we have a lot to catch up on last show of the year last show of the decade and we're brought to you as always by our friends ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has neither has Ariat. Ariat work jackets and boots are packed

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Today is Monday, December 30th, week 17. One last trip around the sun, boom, Teej, boom.
In Detroit, where the Lions were ready to get down with Dave Blaublau. Dave Blaublau, ooh, yeah.
Devontae Adams-Sandler had an uncut gem of a game in theaters nationwide. Check your local listing.
A-Ron Jeremy Rogers did his best to fuck the game up in the first half, but laid the pipe in the second and under the cover of the dome. It was an inside job for Aaron Alex Jones, as the running back could be heard yelling, they're turning the Alan Lazards gay! I've got all the documents right here! Let us be the last to wish you a happy Kenny Galladay's as the Packers win 23-20.
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! In Cincinnati, where Sheriff Joe Mixon enforced cruel and unusual punishment by making 30,000 people sick through a Bengals and Browns game. And in a touching tribute to a Christmas story, the Bengals took their Red Ryder BB gun out for one last whirl.
Your kitchen's nightmare is over, Cleveland, as there won't be any nookies under the tree for Freddy Durst's kitchens as he baked her limp biscuit of a season. And they're rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, come on, his ass out of town bangles 33 browns 23 in kansas city where anon mecole smith turned a lot of guys into hard men when he ran back a kick the equivalent of a 104 centerfolds phil collins rivers tried to tell you no but his body keeps on telling us yes as he asked for just one more night to throw a couple interceptions.
Terrell, I don't want no sugs, said don't go chasing waterfalls. He'll stick to sacking the rivers that he's used to.
Chiefs clinched the first round by with a 31-21 win. Kansas City.
Whip, whip, whip. In Baltimore, where Aziz Gustamary threw out the record books when these two teams match up.
RG3 billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri put out decent film before Oscar season. In a crucial moment, Devlin Sonic the Hedge Hodges got hit and lost his coins, leading to a Ravens score.
The Mike Tomlin sanity ran out of the Steelers season, but they still got that stink off their September. The Ravens, 28.
The Steelers, 10. They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning.
No one you see is smarter than he. And we know Flipper lives in a world full of wonder Flying there under, under the sea Dolphins 27, New England 24 In Houston, where A.J.
McCarron Price should have bought his offensive lineman Rolexes

because they gave him no time to pass and all they could do is watch.

Derek Gagne Henry was all juiced up, rushing for three touchdowns

and an amazing 40-time, chugging for two 11 yards.

Mike Vrabel better have Lorena Bobbitt on speed dial

because the Titans are in the playoffs

and Vrabel's manhood is on the endangered species list as first reported by Pardon My Take via Bussing with the Boys. Titans 35, Texans 14.
Whoop! Rumblin', stublin', bubblin'. Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston, Tampa, Florida.
Such a fine sight to see. He was stuck at 29 With the game on the line And threw a pick six to get to 30 He's a gamer Don't be a shamer If he gets his eyes fixed He'll be a Hall of Famer.
Falcons 28, Bucs 22. To Mile High, where it was the last game as the Oakland Raiders, and Drew, sitting on the lock of the bay, crashed the party as Deshaun Alexander Hamilton was there to read them their Lin-Manuel Miranda rights.
Many thought that Hunter Biden-Renfro was unqualified to earn his rookie contract, but it turns out it was a perfect call. An absolutely perfect call by Donald Trump Gruden.
Bronco 16, the Las Vegas Raiders. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? 15.
Huh? Huh? In the Meadowlands, where Howie Roseman showed this holiday season, it's better to give than have receivers. Boston Michael Scott came out of nowhere.

That's what she said.

Scoring more than an all-inclusive trip to Sandals, Jamaica.

On the defensive side of the ball, Cox got great penetration.

That's what she said.

No more that's what she said, Michael.

And the Eagles stood tough through Saquad Barkley's running.

Well, well, well, how the term tables.

The Eagles are back in the playoffs as a soaking wet Eli looked on disappointed. That's what she said.
Don't do that again. Eagles 34, the G-Men 17.
The New York Football Giants. The New York Football Giants.
We finished in Seattle for the NFC West where it was Jimmy Garoppolo versus Marshawn Lynch, the Beauty and the Beast mode. Kittles vs.
Skittles was an instant classic. Travis Homer Simpson and Marshawn Lynch made for an animated backfield as the Seahawks tried to launch the nuclear lock-in ship to come back in the second half.
Raheem Dijon-Mostard had all the sauce as the 49ers went in the West and clinched home field advantage, a place I know well because a young swam was there for the catch. Look at all that hair.
That's your swam. 49ers 26, Seahawks 21.
All right. Week 17.
Holy shit. That was an awesome, awesome, awesome end to the 2019 regular season.
It was a great way to end it. And this morning I woke up and it really did hit me for the first time that it was week 17.
I had done such a good job of compartmentalizing and not allowing myself to realize that this was the official end of football season. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
But then there's nothing like an awesome game slate on Sunday to totally wipe that off my brain.

Now I'm excited for the playoffs.

And everyone went into this week 17 being like,

okay, everyone kind of knows who's in the playoffs.

There's a couple situations.

The Titans are going to win, so it doesn't really matter.

Everything basically went up in smoke in terms of seeding.

The last game, which we'll start with, was an instant classic out in Seattle.

The 49ers hold on to get the one seed, which were sitting here watching it talking about all the implications the the if the seahawks win that game the packers then have the one seed the the saints have a buy and the two seed so they only have to win one game away from home and everything gets blown up by that last play at the goal line. Holy shit.

Seahawks, how do you take that delay of game?

I actually think, conspiracy theory here, that Pete Carroll took to delay a game on purpose

because he didn't want to be stuck in a situation where he screwed up on the one-yard line again

with Marshawn Lynch back, which that's like, that game was so good,

we forgot how awesome it was at Marshawn Lynch's back.

Yes, and he got that touchdown where he jumped over the line.

I think they were going to give him the ball on the one this time. Thank you.
That game was so good, we forgot how awesome it was at Marshall Lynch's back. Yes, and he got that touchdown where he jumped over the line.

I think they were going to give him the ball on the one this time.

They had to.

They had to give him the ball this time.

So yeah, Pete Carroll kind of saved himself from himself by backing it up to the six-yard line.

But then the very end of the game, well, first of all, before they got there,

there was a questionable, unnecessary roughness penalty on the Niners that backed them up on their drive right there were so many different ball don't lie situations in this game the ball weaved in a very intricate web of deception throughout the game so I was not sure if the end of the game was a ball don't lie if the pass interference that wasn't called was ball no lie if if the uh Hollister getting tackled at the one and then rotating over to the end end zone was a ball no lie i don't know if the ball lied or not i'm pretty sure that it doesn't i don't think i think the 49ers were the better team throughout the year so i think they deserve to win the nfc west and they deserve to get the one seed russell wilson with the ball in the fourth quarter there's nothing like it he's just an electric factory when you watch him i've thrown this out there a few for a few years now but in terms of quarterbacks i want to have the ball at the end of the game he's my number one yeah he's my number one even though they didn't score there he's still my number one because he did everything to get them to score i don't know who do you blame the delay a game on but credit to the 49ers for holding on and the odds of their like getting to the super bowl just drastically changed now that they get two home games to get to miami instead of being the fifth seed and having to finish this game and then immediately fly to philadelphia and play the eagles who got who win the nfc east yeah a lot there was a lot at stake at the very end of this game and Russell Wilson is the great part about Russell is he's mastered all these different weird little nuances in the position of quarterback. So he can slide better than any quarterback.
Yes. He's really good at running out of bounds and holding the ball forward to get that extra yard.
He takes sacks really well. He does that turtle thing.
He's great at getting tackled. He will slide his head into a defender's knee and draw a hit to the head of the quarterback.
Yes. Every single time.
He's really, really good at all these weird little parts of the game. It was an instant classic, and I feel like all the Seahawks do is play in instant classic games.
Yes, and honestly, not to take anything away from the Seahawks because they are a playoff team and they played a great game but if you're a seahawks fan losing that game now you have to go to philadelphia and you have to win three games on the road to get to miami that feels like a mountain a little too tall to climb it's tough it's tough it's not impossible i still feel like the seahawks are one of those teams that if they get on defense, they could beat anybody. Not a lot of time.
Not a lot of time. Not a lot of time.
Seven days. And they're also one of those teams where you think about them traveling east, and it's like, uh, that's early.
Although they did beat the Eagles earlier in the season in Philadelphia. Which, I've always wondered this about West Coast fans.
For these late night games, you get done with a game at what? 8.30? Yeah. At night? Do you eat before the game or after the game? No, I think they eat during the game.
They have dinner parties. Yeah, they do it during the game.
But I guess it would be beneficial to be on the West Coast right now because then you have four hours to stay up and be juiced up about that game. Because if you're on the East Coast and you're watching that game, you can't go to sleep.
That was such a great game. We were standing.
I was standing up. That's the key to when you know a game is an instant classic.
When you find yourself just involuntarily standing up in your living room or we're sitting in the studio right now, big plays, I would just get up. Like, why am I standing? I have no idea.
We're just amped. Football has just made me rise to my feet because I'm so into the moment.
Football is the best drug known to man. It gets you going.
And we should give credit to the 49ers, too, because offensively the 49ers are a problem for anybody. The way they run their offense.
I know you have your questions. No, no, no, no, no.
That's not what I was going to say. No, I wasn't going to say that.
I was going to say Kyle Shanahan, you kind of let me down by punting there on fourth and one. When your offense is so good and you can get one yard and you're supposed to be the guy.
There's a little nerd Twitter bot that I follow that does the in-game percentages. Their percentage to win the game went down by 19% by punting instead of going for it.
I thought they should have gone for it. He was yelling.
He was so emphatic about sending the punt team out there. It looked like he was thinking about it.
So are you thinking Kyle Shanahan in the playoffs? Also, at the very end of the game, Kyle, you could have taken a knee. You could have taken that safety for me.
Giving me the over for the world for Al Michaels. For the over for the Seahawks plus three and a half.
That was an all-time. Are they going to take that safety and just, like, swing every single bet? And then we get Ravel to tweet some stupid like,

oh, did this many billions of dollars change hands?

Shut up.

All right.

I was upset, though, because I did not get a graphic.

I did not get an example shown on the screen of how loud it is in Seattle.

Usually they'll compare it.

They'll show how loud other things are.

They'll be like, here's the decibel level for the fans in Seattle.

Here's what a jet engine sounds like.

Here's what it sounds like when you're recording a podcast and nobody will clear the air out of the pipes in your studio like all these very loud things to compare so i had no idea if it was loud or not the uh i think that they haven't done a story about the seattle crowd recently enough for people to remember it the twelves i i listen they're in they're hangingfters. Remember that.
The only team that's ever – they put the – the only team that's ever – they basically retired the number. No, they did retire the number 12.
Retired the number 12. That's whatever.
Didn't Texas A&M do that? I'm not going to beat up on Seattle right now because that was a bad loss, but that's such a lame move. I need an update right now because I'm pretty sure there was some ongoing litigation between Texas A&M and Seattle fans for who gets the right to the number 12 I think they I think they like Texas A&M like leased it to them they franchised it they own the number 12 yes and you can you can pay them a rate to use it what I was gonna say though is I facetiously tweeted out like is it always this loud in Seattle and a lot of people were like yeah dude it's always this loud like that was clearly a joke because for i think what's happened is there was that run it was probably like right when the beast quake happened until they won a super bowl every time seattle played in a prime time game the lead story was man these fans are loud they haven't done that i think you know what i'm gonna blame rick r to blame Rick Riley.
Rick Riley not having his little two-minute spot on Monday Night Football has ruined our awareness of the Seattle crowd being the loudest in the NFL. Whether or not it's loud.
Rick Riley did have a heater, though. He said, I haven't seen a red zone mismanaged that badly since I got that parking ticket at DIA.
So DIA, you might wonder what that is. That's the Denver International Airport where Rick apparently is throwing a little red meat out there to all the conspiracy nuts.
But that was very timely on his part. But what I was going to say about the 49ers offense, it's so tough to defend because all their plays look the same when they're lining up to run them.
But they could run a trap. They could run a seam to Kittle.
They use him as a blocker. They use him and Juice.
They throw to a fullback down the field. Him and Juice.
It's like you don't know if they're going to hit you from the side or if they're going to release on a wheel route. It's like impossible.
And then even when they run the ball, it almost feels more creative the way that they run the ball than the way that they pass it. It's like, who's the guy on Twitter, Pitching Ninja, that shows you, okay, here's the delivery on this guy's four-seam fastball, and here's his delivery on a curveball, and he overlays it at the same time.
You could do that exact same thing and overlay the San Francisco offense, and it would end up in two completely different players. Kyle Shanahan has made running the ball sexy again.
Like, it's become an air league. It's become a passing league.
Everyone's breaking every single record, but he has made it sexy. And that's why I'm more disappointed than I would be with any other team when the 49ers have basically a chance to ice the game by getting one yard.
And that's my only concern. Kyle Shanahan, don't start seeing ghosts, man.
You're a good coach. You're a really fucking good coach.
You have a really good team. You're the one seed.
Don't start seeing ghosts out there. A little Super Bowl past, all that shit.
No, he's overcorrected from the Super Bowl past. Now he runs the ball more often and passes it less than he should sometimes.
All right, let's go to... We're going to do all the games.
Can I bring up one last thing about the broadcast? Well, actually, there are two things I'm going to miss about Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football coming to a close here. Well, we get Sunday Night Football on Saturday.
We do get it, but it's not the same. Please give me the Monday Night Football Saturday edition graphic.
Yeah. I would appreciate that.
I'm going to miss the ongoing computer graphics battles between the Sunday Night Football crew and the Monday Night Football crew when they put up those weird little animation sequences in the middle of games, which, by the way, ESPN totally kicks the shit out of the BBC. It's like virgin Sunday Night Football, Chad, Monday Night Football graphics.
I'm going to miss that. The second thing is Al and Chris brought back the quarter zip.
One was wearing a cardigan. The other guy was wearing a golf quarter zip they looked like uh two gay parents who were upset at the lifestyle choice of their heterosexual son okay i mean okay yeah yeah yeah they were just they were very ashamed okay how do i tell your father he's not i mean i i love the broadcast too yeah uh all right should we get into the whole sleep Did that not make sense? No, it made sense.
It made sense. It was, yeah, it made sense.
I just see them wearing. Yeah, you don't like your G word.
I just see them wearing sweaters. Yeah, I look a little deeper into it.
I just see them wearing sweaters. I'm like, yeah, they're white guys in their 50s.
Of course they're wearing sweaters. Yeah.
That's what every white guy in his 50s wears. I don't know.
I'd like to see a suit. All right.
Let's do the whole slate of games. Some games we'll skip over pretty quickly, but some we got to focus on.
And you'd think that we were going to start with the Patriots somehow losing to the Dolphins, but they actually got upstaged by the game of the one o'clock hour. And that was the one and only jamis winston with the walk-off pick six to get his 30th interception of the year the first the only member of the 30 30 club 30 touchdowns 30 interceptions uh i let's start with actually where bruce arian said after the game in uh evaluating jamis's future with the team he said there's so much good and so much outright terrible yep that perfectly sums up Jameis Winston that's Jameis Winston in a nutshell right there I love him and not only was it a walk-off pick six for the 30 interception mark it also hit the over yeah so it was like a play perfectly designed for us I felt like I feel like the football gods were beaming that directly into our ears and our eyes it was incredible and james winston uh we've been on this all year this has been a storyline all year that he is comically the funniest quarterback to ever grace god's earth and he is now in the record books he also is the good he's the eighth quarterback all time to throw for over 5 000 yards in a season which he also got in this game which he.
Which he also got in this game. It was a milestone game for James.
It was incredible. It was like Ted Williams when he hit .400.
James could have sat out that overtime and not given us that 30th interception. But he wanted to give the fans what they came there for.
It was to a linebacker. He has linebacker blindness.
He also said after the game in an awesome Jamesameis press conference, he said, if you look at my numbers, I'm balling. I got to stop giving the ball to the other team.
If I eliminate those, I'm going to be the best. You better check the sheet.
I'm going to be the best. That's true.
It is. If he doesn't throw interceptions, he would be the MVP.
He's balling. If he threw no interceptions this year, he would have been the MVP.
But if he threw no interceptions, he wouldn't be Jameis. Correct.
And that's why we love him.

And he says that he wants $30 million a year. Should.
I actually think that as far as entertainment value goes, his worth for the NFL is worth well over $30 million a year. Because of what he delivers to the fans.
If he doesn't get $30 million, I will pitch in. I will help Jameis get up there to that point because he's worth every penny.
I pray you know when you get the bump from a team does well and they get the primetime bump like the Bears had it this year. They played whatever five, six primetime games because they were good last year.
Please give Jameis the bump. Please give Jameis the bump so we can see him in Sunday night and Monday night all next year.
Like when the schedule makers are trying to figure out how to a good matchup in week 12, just throw Jameis in there. No matter who he plays, he could play no one, and it would be pure entertainment.
Yeah, absolutely. I agree 100% Jameis needs to be featured more.
He is probably my favorite quarterback to watch play. I don't think that there's even a close second.
Maybe Lamar lamar or pat mahomes when they're at the yeah but they're like good but it's there yeah they're good funny yeah you're just like oh my god that was amazing throw yeah you don't get the slapstick of jamis going out in overtime against the falcons squinting and having an anvil fall on his head and have his lineman use a spatula to pick him up off the ground i cannot cartoon character jamis winston is a cartoon character and if i. And if I'm Bruce Arians, I don't know that I want to fix his sight.
I think as far as it goes, first of all, I don't think that Bruce Arians believes in LASIK eye surgery. No.
I think he'll probably just tell Jameis to go stare directly at the sun for a couple hours every day. And hopefully the sun's rays, Ray Baker, will be his eye surgeon and help correct some of that.
No, but Jameis, just think about it. We talked about the 30 interceptions all year, and we get to overtime.
Shout out to Dan Quinn for a meaningless game, kicking a field goal to tie it up. We get to overtime, and he does it.
A pick six to end it. And here's even more poetic justice.
Jameis Winston. So we don't know what's going to happen with him.
I assume the Bucs are going to bring him back. At least maybe franchise tag him.
Whatever may happen. But let's just say Jameis Winston is a free agent and goes somewhere else.
Jameis Winston, the first pass he ever threw for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A pick six.
A pick six. Week one, 2015 against the Titans.
His last pass for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A pick six.
Week 17, 2019 against the Atlanta Falcons. That is so fucking poetic.
So I actually am rooting for him to not be on the Bucs next year. Just so we can be like, look at that.
It would be a great ending to a great career. Yeah, do you really? Yes.
I think you say that. Oh, I do.
You say that, but I think your attitude would change a little bit. No, they're always going to stink.
Not being able to laugh at him, but having people laugh at you for him. PFT, we're going to get to this, but Carson Wentz threw for 4,000 yards.
First time an Eagles quarterback has ever thrown for 4,000 yards. There's only one team left that has not had a 4,000-yard passer.
It's the Chicago Bears. Okay.
So I want Jameis Winston. Well, yeah, he's definitely going to get to 4,000.
I want Jameis Winston. I was trying to figure out earlier this week who the leading tackler on the Bucs offense is this year.
Ooh, great question. It's not Jameis because he stinks at tackling.
Yeah, yeah, great question. Because he can't see the guy after he throws the ball to him.
Although seven of them, so 30 interceptions, seven of them weren't tackled. Yeah, so that hurts his stats a little bit.
Yeah. I would say Philip Rivers is actually really good at throwing interceptions that get tackled afterwards.
Cameron Brait. Cameron Brait.
I was going to say Mike Evans because he's fast, he's big. Yeah.
He usually chases a guy down from behind. But there's a lot of the picks are to the linebackers.
Right, so a tight end. Someone give us that stat.
Who's the leading tackler on the Bucs offense this year? Last thing about this game, because we should just quickly talk about the Falcons. They are perfectly, perfectly placed to be one of the dark horse teams in 2020.
Because they finished the season on a high note. They go 7-9 after a terrible start.
They keep Dan Quinn. They keep Dimitriov.
This will definitely be the – you'll be sitting September 2020 or 2020, and you'll be watching the Fox pregame. And someone probably, uh, Strahan will probably say, you know, which team I really got my eye on the Atlanta Falcons.
Hey, they've got all the talent. They've got all the great receivers.
Yes. Yes.
Uh, all right. So, oh, we didn't even mention, too,

the Falcons had the longest touchdown by a player weighing at least 300 pounds

in NFL history.

That was pretty sick.

The tackle eligible, which wasn't covered at all.

Yes.

And as Danny Kelly pointed out, that guy, he looks like me,

but like a bigger – he looks like if I ate you.

Yes.

And if you put a picture up, oh, my God, it's crazy.

It's hilarious.

What was the guy's name?

Ty Sambrello. Ty Sambrello, immediately my favorite tight end in the NFL, even though he's a tackle.
And Jameis1of1 had one stat for us. 12 times a quarterback has thrown 30 interceptions in the NFL.
None of those 12 times has the quarterback also thrown 30 touchdowns in that season. There you go.
Electric. Jameis is the greatest of all time.
Yes, he is. Jameis1of1.
He's fucking nuts and he's hilarious and I love him. He actually is the answer, and we're going to get to the Phil Rivers later, but he is the answer to losing our heroes, Eli, Phil Rivers, Ben Roethlisberger.
If Jameis can be in the NFL for another decade, the torch has been passed to our hilarious quarterbacks we can make fun of. He's almost actually, if you threw all three of those guys into, you know, you have like the Roethlisberger off field.
You've got the allegations. You've got the Phillip Rivers interceptions.
You've got the Squintin, Eli Manning dumb face. It's all kind of perfect.
Yeah. The Phil Rivers god.
He really is just mashing all three of those guys together. You get Jameis Winston.
Yeah, he's designed in a lab to be just our perfect person. For us.
Our special little boy. All right, let's do the next big game.
The Patriots-Dolphins. I'm still shocked that the Patriots lost this game.
I'm not. Tom Brady at home versus AFC teams that finished with a losing record before this game was 61-0.
61-0. That's insane.
He never had lost to an AFC team that had a losing record at the end of the year. The Dolphins stunned him.
I don't even know. How are you not shocked? I know it's the Ryan Fitzpatrick part.
Ryan Fitzpatrick was Fitzmagic. We were due for Fitzmagic.
We hadn't gotten full Fitzmagic this year yet, and this game was what you get. You get one incredible performance.
You get one thing that shocks the world every season out of Ryan Fitzpatrick. This was it.
Also, if you look at who the Dolphins played last week, it was the Bengals. So the Patriots weren't able to scout the Bengals properly because of the last time they tried to do that, so they didn't have all the intel down on the Dolphins.
But here's where it was shocking to me it was the the patriots offense has been bad or mediocre whatever you want to call it all year so you kind of expected them to not you know be able to win a shootout the patriots defense has been great all year stefan gilmore was the defensive player of the year up until today he probably lost it today because devontae parker went off and it wasn't all to him. But that part, like you don't see a Bill Belichick team come out flat

for a game that they should be able to roll.

You're probably thinking right now, where's Hank?

He's not here.

He is on vacation yet again.

Well-earned vacation.

Should we call him?

Yeah, let's give him a call.

See what he's up to.

See where the panic button is right now he's probably oh oh hey what's up hank what's up hey hey how's your vacation what how's your vacation uh it's going well it's going well you know we've we had a tough day today we put them some things in the past we're on 2020 uh wait do you mean like on your vacation you had a tough day or was there something else that happened well on the you know on the slopes i was skiing i i fell a couple times i had a couple of bumps and bruises and then i got off you know patriots lost the game oh we weren't even calling about that. We were just calling to see how your vacation is.
I actually have a SeatGeek question for you, Hank. SeatGeek, promo code TAKE.
You can go to the Patriots wildcard round next Saturday with SeatGeek, promo code TAKE. You get $10 off.
My question to you is, where's the panic button? Panic button's out. I mean, the panic button's firmly out, ready to get pressed.
It's out. It's fully out.
Are you worried at all about the Titans, or do you think that you're going to win this one and then the next game the wheels are going to fall off? No, I'm worried about the Titans. I mean, clearly Brian Flores, Belichick disciple,

he beat us today.

Mike Briegel, another Belichick disciple,

he's coming in next week.

I'm concerned.

I'm very worried.

And he buttons out.

It's tough times.

Yeah, last question, or maybe not even a question,

more of a statement, want your thoughts.

Turnover differential in this game.

Minus two. Patriots didn't get any turnovers.
They turned the ball over twice. Thoughts? Turnover differential in this game.
Minus two. Patriots didn't get any turnovers.
They turned the ball over twice. Thoughts? Defensive player of the year candidate did the exact opposite of what you would hope for him to do.
Defense didn't play great. Fitzmagic just tore us up.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a tough one to swallow for sure. Do you feel at all responsible for the Dolphins beating the Patriots because of the very vulgar Dolphins sound effects that you put into our last fastest two minutes? I mean, it's honestly like it's the biggest catch-22 of the entire season.
It's fucked up. Say something nice about the Dolphins.
I have nothing nice to say about them. They ruined my vacation.
Oh, no. There's something nice for you guys.
You still have three days more of your vacation, so I'm sure you'll rebound. You probably have another vacation before the new year.
You've got to squeeze out all those days. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Alright, well we'll talk to you later, man.
We've still got like two more hours of the show to go. Bye, Hank.

All right.

Keep it up.

Love you guys.

Okay.

Love you too.

Love you too, Hank.

I'm sorry again for last year.

Oh, man.

That's tough.

That is very, very tough.

So I just want to take a quick victory lap here for accurately predicting that the Dolphins

were going to beat the Patriots in week 17.

And they finished the season with five wins.

Which wasn't your seven.

But I went back, looked at their schedule. They lost by one point to the Jets.
Wait, but that's still a loss. Let me finish.
One point to the Jets, one point to the R-words, and only 49 to the Ravens. They could have very easily been eight and eight.
They could have been eight and eight and looking at possibly a while. They could have been in the hunt.
Seven wins fell short. Too short.
Also, did you guys see the story that the Patriots? Story of your life. Yeah, the Patriots, they – That was mean.
That was mean. That was mean.
I came out and I just – That was very mean. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I am sorry.
Five foot seven to nine. That's me and the Dolphins.
The Patriots, they lent their plane to Navy. Yes.
Did you see that? So the Navy – I guess Navy doesn't have any planes. No, just boats.
A shitload shitload of boats bob craft gave them their plan i don't know if the patriots got to fly on their normal plane uh over the course of last week for any like unexpected trips or whatever but that's kind of a that's tough when you're when your owner is giving out your plane to a branch of the armed forces like yeah the the navy is using the patriots as their own personal Uber. So that's tough.

Yeah, it's crazy how different the playoffs look now

because the Patriots have to play the Titans on Saturday night.

And we disagree on this, and we'll do a big playoff preview.

By the way, we're going to have a new show Thursday night,

so we'll release it early, but we'll have a new show previewing

the entire playoffs and everything and talking about the bowl games on Wednesday. We're not going to have a show on Thursday morning.
But I feel like the Patriots are going to roll the Titans and everyone's going to buy back in, and then they're going to lose to the Chiefs. I don't think so.
I think the Titans take it to them. Is this the end of the Patriots dynasty? Let me put on my Max Kellerman hat real quick.
Do it. Tom Brady is the GOAT, but I think Travis Henry, or Derek Henry, excuse me, is the boat running back.

There it is.

Yeah.

All right.

Speaking of the team that took their bye, so the Chiefs.

The Chiefs beat the Chargers, which I think we all went into this game assuming that the Patriots were going to win,

so this game didn't really mean anything. The Chiefs were going to be the three seed no matter what.
Turns out not. I actually, I had a thought.
I like to put myself in like the mindset of other fan bases during games. So as they were playing the Patriots score and the fans were going crazy, I feel like that was the best post-game tailgate you could ever have, given obviously a playoff win is probably going to be better, but given the fact that this isn't a real week of work, Wednesday is the day off.
You have the 1 o'clock game noon in Kansas City. You not only beat the Chargers, but you get the two-seed and the bye, and then you get to go basically watch the rest of Week 17 in the back of your pickup and stand there and talk about how awesome the game was.
That was Nirvana. It's two wins at once.
Yeah. You've got a double win.
And I think they're going to really enjoy that until Saturday and Sunday come around. And they're going to be like, I kind of wish the chiefs were playing.
They're going to miss watching their chiefs play in Kansas city. How about Kevin Harlan doing the play by play for both games? That was like when Alicia keys played two pianos at the same time at the Grammy Awards.
Yes. Kevin Harlan going back and forth between each live update and then the crowd.
It reminded me, you remember when John Cena announced that the U.S. killed Osama Bin Laden? Yes.
At WrestleMania or whatever that was? Yes. That's what it reminded me of, seeing all the fans whispering the scores to each other.
Yes. And going progressively more insane and getting so amped up and into it.

Kevin Harlan, I actually was thinking about this because he does the radio calls. He doesn't do TV for the NFL because I think so.
Week 17, they need everyone all hands on deck because all the games are going on at once. I'm pretty sure he does the radio.
Well, he definitely called the black cat. Remember that? The black cat? That was radio.
Okay. Yes, that was radio because that was a Monday night game.
Got it. So he should be on TV.
Absolutely. Like that's crazy.
When he was calling me Cole Hardman's run back, I kind of stopped in my tracks like, fuck, Kevin Harlan is – he honestly might be my favorite play-by-play like all sports

yeah the only thing that sucks about Kevin Harlan is I just hear his voice and I say oh no he's down he's down he's holding his knee it's Derrick Rose over and over but all that aside and Sam Decker's father-in-law that's true so shout out Kevin Harlan you mean uh Olivia Harlan Decker's father Father.

Yeah, Olivia Harland-Decker's husband's wife's father.

Father.

He really is, though.

We should have him. Why isn't he? I'm not going to talk about another man's job.
No, we don't do that. But he should be the Monday night football.
He should be. I like that call that he had on the run back, too, because he almost cussed when he was doing it.
And I always love an announcer catching themselves from saying, holy shit, live, because that's what everybody else is saying everybody else is why do we have those rules by the way I feel like that should be like a free zone what announcers should be allowed to break the FCC rules on vulgarity I agree you should be allowed to Al Michaels should be like holy fucking shit why did Kyle Shanahan not take a knee in the end zone every goddamn person America had to fucking over you piece of shit the only problem with that i agree with you the only problem with that is it we might get into that dicey territory whenever you see like someone go from leave at espn and they're like i can swear now you know restrict your plates off then they i'm gonna go crazy yeah like i you thought i was you thought i was a bad boy at espn wait till you hear me now and then they overdoing you're like is weird. Yeah, you got Joe Tessitore dropping C-bombs.
Yeah, we don't need that. Phil Rivers.
Yeah. So, well, some good news about Phil Rivers, first of all.
Yeah. After the game, Phillip Rivers said retirement is not really an option.
He has too many kids. Yeah, exactly.
He would consider playing for a team other than the Chargers if they don't bring him back. I don't blame him.
You've got nine kids. You probably don't want to be hanging around your family that often.
So I think we're going to get Phillip Rivers in the NFL next year. Now what I'm doing in my own head is trying to conjure a way to not have Joe Burrow play in Cincinnati.
And I'm thinking he would fit. Yeah, he would fit.
Because you could just see Phillip Rivers. Yes, for the Bengals.
You could see Philip. What if it was Philip Rivers and Joey Bosa? That's the Bosa, right? Yeah.
Philip Rivers and Joey Bosa traded plus their first round pick to the Bengals for their first overall pick. You don't see the washed up 40-year-old quarterback traded for the number one overall very often.
But Phillip Rivers is worth it. I mean, like Jameis Winston, the entertainment factor that you get from Phillip Rivers.
I wanted to picture Phillip Rivers cussing at the guy in the Chiefs. I think it was Chris Jones.
He was trying to punch him. He did a little punch.
It was the cutest little punch. A little peanut punch.
He's like, I want to punch this guy. He did the, like, when you get your friend two for punching, but you feel bad.
And he was like, I'll just hit him lightly. He did that.
Yeah, a little punch buggy. It was so cute.
It was a punch buggy when your mom's in the car. Yeah, it's like, Mom, I don't want to hit you, but I have to.
Oh, I was saying you hit your friend while your mom's in the car. No, you got to give your mom a little slug in the arm.
You hit your mom. I mean, if it's a punch buggy.
Okay. You have to.
Weird. Or if she looks.
My next question is what happens now for the Kansas City Chiefs fans because you owe Ryan Fitzpatrick a gift. You remember a couple years ago when Andy Dalton got the Bills into the playoffs.
You owe Ryan Fitzpatrick a gift. I don't know.
Do you start a scholarship at Harvard for the quarterback with the sickest beard coming out of high school? Maybe buy everyone in America a Rubik's Cube. There you go.
Come on, Chiefs fans. That's perfect.
That's only, what, 300 million people at times? How much does a Rubik's Cube cost? Did you ever get yours, Bubba? Did you ever do it? Nope. Quit.
You were working on it for like two months. Damn, 2020.
So just raise a billion dollars, Chiefs. That works.
Phil Rivers in his postgame was teary-eyed. I was emotional watching it.
He said, I can say I gave it everything I had, and maybe it means an interception on 4th and 18 down 10. Yep.
Yeah, we know. Because I don't care that it's going to say two interceptions.
Yeah, we know. And he said,

I ain't quitting doing it with so many guys over 14 years and going into

the locker room,

win or lose dang,

get,

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how, Thank you. Daggummit, yeah.
Daggummit, but shoot, I couldn't have tried any harder. Yep.
Put that audio in, actually.

I'll send it to you, Liam.

Put that in.

Let's play it right now.

I think it's that I can say I gave it everything I had.

I mean, every week, you know.

So, you know, and maybe it means an interception on 4th and 18 when you're down 10.

Because I don't care that it's going to say two interceptions, you know.

I really don't.

It's just like I ain't quitting.

So, I think that, I think that, that doing it with so many guys over, you know, 14 years and going to the locker room, win or lose, and I can say, dang it, we're short. We fell short, or we won, you know.
But shoot, I couldn't try it any harder. That's better than Lou Gehrig's speech.
Unbelievable. I was, like, watching it, I got a little teary-eyed.
Watching your favorite athletes break down in tears, talking about how cool their interceptions were, it's so awesome to experience as a fan. The fact that he just admits, like, fourth and 18? I don't care.
Yeah, we know. We know.
You didn't have to tell us. Yeah, I don't care that I threw two interceptions.
Yeah. And the fact that he tossed in, was down 10 points throwing an interception.
It's like, yeah, you watch a game film every day. I actually saw this tweet.
I can't remember. I'm sorry, whoever tweeted it.
I apologize. I didn't write it down.
But if you flipped, like you were talking about with the Dolphins, if you flipped one-score games and you just changed all the standings, every one-score game, if you just flipped the result, the Chargers would be 12-4, which is so perfect. That's great.
So perfectly Chargers. Yeah.
I mean, Phillip Rivers is a great quarterback to have on your team if you're trying to tank because he's feisty enough to be competitive. Yeah.
So he accomplishes as a one-man wrecking crew what the entire Bengals organization did this year,

which is like, remain competitive, but don't win any of the games that are going to sacrifice your draft position.

Right, right.

He just had too much talent on his team, so he ended up with, what, five wins?

Four wins?

I think they won five games.

Five games, yeah.

They might have won six, actually.

I don't know.

Just a perfect Phil Rivers season through and through.

Like, everything he did, just, oh, man.

He can't retire.

He's not going to retire.

Retirement's not an option.

Thank God.

All right.

Packers-Lions.

The Chargers won five games.

Packers-Lions.

I don't think Aaron Rodgers likes playing football.

You want to know what I had highlighted here is my big question of the day?

Yeah.

Does Aaron Rodgers love football? Yes. He has the worst body language I've ever seen and I know I'm obviously biased and I know Packers fans would be like shut up big cat that's fine but deep down you have to ask yourself is something up because he looks miserable playing football the first half.
He was missing wide-open guys.

He was throwing guys too long, too short, all over the place.

So I have two theories.

You can tell me, PFT, which one you want to hear, one or two.

We'll open up the doors.

Let's go two.

Okay, I think Danica's crystals have him fucked up.

Okay, yeah, that's fair.

That was my theory.

Danica's got the crystals all fucked up.

My theory was just that he's being held hostage.

Yeah.

I used to say that he looked like he was on a bad date when he was next to Matt LaFleur, and they'd just be staring straight forward next to each other. I actually think that he's being held hostage by somebody in Green Bay.
My other theory is that he is intimidated by Danica's celebrity, and you saw that they bought a $30 million mansion straight cash. In the boo.
That's a classic. You're doing that to impress your girlfriend.
Everyone's been there. You're like, fine, I'll buy this $30 million mansion because I want you to think I'm a baller.
Yeah, if you're dating somebody that's not a rich celebrity, I think you probably just end up buying a $10 million mansion. But you have to step it up because danica is used to a certain lifestyle right and you have to show off to her that you're worth it it's it's basically the the common man uh like move of taking a girl you maybe have seen like once or twice out to a really fancy steak dinner nice dinner and then putting it all on your credit card because you can't actually afford it.
Yes. That's what he did with a $30 million mansion.

So the question, I think there's another question we have to ask, dovetailing off that, is Aaron

Rodgers broke?

Is that maybe why he's upset because he spent all his money trying to entertain Danica all

the time?

Yeah, can't keep up.

I think Aaron Rodgers is upset because he's worried about bills.

Listen, he would be the most hilarious, unexpected athlete to end up on the 30 for 30 broke yes he would i would love oh my god i he in all seriousness he does not look happy and i know that that really doesn't mean a lot but something seems off and half the time he he makes throws where i think he's trying to look cool it looks looks like he's Funko Rico, like, just getting in the

backyard and being like, here,

I can sling this. And

all his footwork and everything gets fucked up

because he's just basically trying to look as casual as

possible. Well, when I first noticed that

Rodgers was starting to decline a little bit

a couple years ago, he stopped doing those

back shoulder throws that he was so good at

all the time. He would be good for maybe four or five of those

a game, which were unguardable. Like to Jordy Nelson, he'd hit him for 30 yards down the field and you couldn't stop it.
Now his under throws are unintentional. Yeah.
So he's actually throwing into the defender that's trailing his wide receiver. So, yeah, I don't know what's going on.
He looks like – yeah, I'm going to go with the fact that he's broke because if you remember over the last couple years, all we ever talked about with Aaron Rodgers was he would always mention his next contract. He would talk about how much money he's going to get paid when he sees a guy out there.
I don't know who the one, maybe it was Russell Wilson that got paid right before him. But every time a quarterback got paid, Aaron Rodgers would always say something.
It's all coming together. Hold on.
I got one more thing. I got one more thing for you.
The Packers just did the move and of course you're going to tell me oh big cat it's a salary cap maneuver they just converted some of his uh next year's salary into signing bonus he's like yo i need the cash right now he's like i need an advance yes aaron rogers he's going to be doing commercials for jg winworth yes i have a structured settlement and i need cash now coals call up Aaron Rodgers. He will do as many commercials as you want.
He's been doing more commercials. Listen.
Yeah, he's broke. Fuck.
Aaron, if you need some cash, I'm your owner. I can make something happen.
We can grease the wheels a little bit. As for this game, the Packers looked terrible in the first half.
They obviously came back and won and won they're not good but they're gonna fucking go to the super bowl i just feel it in my bones i just know it i know they don't have the one seat anymore but they're gonna win ugly games and i'm gonna sit there screaming we're gonna be in miami and like the packers are not good and a bunch of packers fans are gonna be at our live radio shows just screaming at me like you guys aren't good just admit it and then they're going to somehow they're all I'm hoping for now is that the Packers lose by 50 to the Ravens of the Super Bowl that's really all I have left I also think that there's a chance Aaron Rodgers might be a witch because every time he comes up with those little end of season sayings it always works so he says run the table when he invents that they run the table when he says r-e-l-a-x he invents the word relax his team relaxes and they end up winning this year he said we have to win ugly and that's all that they've done they've won extremely ugly including like a beard that is making him look like he's will ferrell in anchorman when he got fired like he looks he's in a glass case yeah he doesn't'm going to say it. Agreed.
He looks like he has scurvy a little bit. But whatever.
The Packers are 11-3. They're the two seed.
I know. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm a hater. I get it.
Whatever. You guys are going to go to the Super Bowl.
I've resigned myself to that fact. I just know it.
You're going to go to... They're 13-3.
But they're going to go to San Francisco. You have to count the ugly wins.
Yeah, they're going to go to San Francisco, who they got absolutely pasted by whatever it was two months ago, and they're going to win. The Chargers beat them in California.
I think they're going to win 17-16 against the 49ers. Somehow.
Somehow. It's going to happen.
They're going to win 17-16. I think it could happen.
If that happens, then Aaron Rodgers, you owe me $2 million that you don't have. Now, if it was going through Lambeau, then I would say that it's very likely that the Packers make the Super Bowl somehow.
No, this is what they want you to think, PFT. No, because you would have been on the other side if the Packers had gotten the one seed.
Yeah, exactly. As soon as the 49ers won, I was like, oh, sigh of relief.
The Packers don't have the one seed. And then I realized that's exactly in line with everything they've done this season where you're like, Oh, that's it.
It's over. They got to go on the road to win the NFC championship game and they'll fucking do it.
So the second I saw lions fans saying they were going to win this game is the minute I knew they were going to lose. Yeah.
There was a time where it looked like they had the game in control and they probably played a better game than the Packers did. Oh, wow.
David Blau looks good. Caught a touchdown.
He looks, you know what? He's got moxie now. He does.
He's on the Dalton meter. But the second that they allowed themselves a little glimmer of hope being like, this is our game.
We're going to win it. We're finally going to beat the Packers.
We're going to show them who's boss. I knew it was over at that point.
That's the instant for Detroit fans. Because they say and God bless Detroit Lions fans because I feel your pain as a recovering R-Words fan.
Marth Vader's got you. You have to expect the worst always.
Because the worst happens to you, whether it's from the refs, or whether it's from the rule book, or whether it's from your players retiring too early because Marth Vader drove them out of the league. You have to expect the worst.
But then, you always let them back in just a tiny amount, and then they shut the door on your face right don and super fan when i sat with them and they were they were calculating ways to get into the playoffs and aaron rogers ripped their heart clean out of their chest here's something good about the lions statistically they have the best win percentage for any three win team in the history of the nfl because they're tied because they have a tie there you go that's huge the goat what do they have they are picking four third third they're okay that's oh you know what uh yeah third oh okay well it's not like it's a two two player draft or anything no yeah you're good you'll get to a i'm sure that'll work out well for you you'll get to and he'll and he'll retire before he even plays. All right.
Let's go to – by the way, if you want to watch us, barstoolgold.com.pmt, you can watch us, barstoolgold.com.pmt. Browns-Bangles, the Battle of Ohio.
We kind of got – it kind of got, like, stolen from us, the fact that they fired Freddie Kitchens because we – I wanted to make one last round of of Freddie Kitchens jokes and then him getting fired has ruined it because I wanted to be like there was a report before the game that Freddie Kitchens was on the hot seat and they were going to wait and see how the Bengals game went so basically like if he can beat the one win Bengals we'll keep him and if he can't we'll fire him which is incredible that that would actually be the case but he got fired so fast and now we're left being like man I I kind of I kind of miss him already well Freddie was he was a harmless enough guy yeah he was uh yeah he's a guy that you wanted to succeed but you also knew he had no chance in hell of succeeding after just a couple weeks. He was in way, way over his head.
Did you see his quote from last week? I think it was in the middle of us being out for Christmas. He had a quote that if the Bengals lost didn't get him fired, this was what got him fired.
He said, we don't draw plays to beat the other team. We play football.
That's what we want to be. We want to be a football team.
We don't want to be the designer of plays. I'm pretty sure if you're an offensive coordinator, if you're coaching that side of the ball, you want to draw plays that can beat the other team.
Well, first of all, put some respect on Freddie Kitchen's name because as a coach of the Cleveland Browns, he has the highest winning percentage in the history of this franchise. True.
True. Since they came back to the league.
So, Freddie Kitchens, they might put a statue up for him, because he did win more than, well, with the exception of Greg Williams as an interim coach, but that doesn't count. Doesn't count.
But everybody else, you look back at Rod Chudzinski. Yep.
You look at Mike Pettin. He was a coach there for two years.
You look at Hugh. Hugh? Hugh.
Hugh was there for two years. Somehow.
No, Hugh was there for longer than two years. Yeah, but he stuck around after going 0-16.
Yes. So yeah, Freddie's out, and now Haslam is leading a new coaching search.
I have a prediction for this one, so we're playing musical coaches at this point, right? So I think it's going to be McCarthy. Yes.
Because he looks like... McCarthy looks like a Cleveland coach.
Well, and they have the Dorsey connection. They got the Dorsey connection.
But more importantly, he just looks like a Cleveland type of guy. Yes.
Like if Freddy Kitchen's got a makeover and became slightly more professional. Right.
That's what you have when you get a Mike McCarthy. If Freddy Kitchen's got a haircut and skipped dinner yeah he'd be mike mccarthy if he went on queer eye for the straight guys then he becomes right mike mccarthy the uh whole brown season so sad the fact that the stat that baker mayfield was the first browns quarterback to start all 16 games in 18 years that's insane that's crazy's crazy.
That's insane. I don't – the best thing I could say is maybe people will start believing in the Browns come next year and you'll get a little hype, but I don't think you want the hype.
I think if you're the Browns – and it's going to really be bad. It's going to really be bad when I say this, but not only was the season just terrible for the Browns, Lamar Jackson is incredible and the Ravens look like they're set up for a while now.
Joe Burrow is going to be the quarterback in Cincinnati and Big Ben's coming back. So that sucks.
So you might want Greg Williams back if you have to go up against Joe Burrow and Lamar Jackson because maybe he'll intentionally injure them.

Just bounty them.

Yeah.

That's the only way you're going to win.

That's really your only hope right now.

I think McCarthy would be a good coach because Baker is good.

His wide receivers are very good.

His tight end is good.

He needs a tight end.

Njoku didn't even play this year.

Remember Warren Sharp told us that?

Well, Njoku wants to come back if Freddie Kitchens isn't going to be there,

which I don't really blame for because his snap count went way down this year.

So I think that McCarthy would be as good of a fit as you can hope for in Cleveland because he's competent. But he might be the Panthers coach.
He might be the Panthers coach. Because that seems like he had a good interview there.
And that would be a benefit to firing your coach in the season. Yes, he his analytics team together right now and that it seems like tepper wants a big analytics guy so if i'm cleveland i just i try to throw a lot of money but this you know i've got a conspiracy theory about the browns that i've been marinating on for the last five years okay i think that jimmy haslam is a fraud owner i think that he is wait that's not a conspiracy well so he's yes right oh yeah wait from the fbi as far as law enforcement oh i was saying like yeah he is a bad owner no you're right like as far as his criminal record oh he doesn't actually own the team he has committed fraud yes i think that he's a shadow owner he's a puppet owner for in place by the steelers yes because he was a partial he was a partial owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers before he became an owner of the Browns.
Yes. So I think that this might be a situation where he got sent to Cleveland to just make sure that they never become too much of a threat to the Steelers.
Yes, and he also is the biggest booster for Tennessee football. So Jimmy Haslam, yeah, I actually don't know if I would – well, no, I don't think I'd trade spots even how rich he is his two teams stink

every year you wouldn't trade spots

to own the bounce

no and he has to pay so much money every year

to try to get Tennessee going

that's so dumb though that you say that you can't

you would not trade spots to be an NFL

head coach for the Bengals

if I had Jimmy Haslam's brain

though like if I had to be Jimmy Haslam

if I could be myself I'd trade spots

Yeah, that's what I'm saying oh yeah you would own the Browns no if I was just Jimmy if you just did like I had to be in Jimmy Haslam's like body and just be as dumb as him and make the mistakes and root for my shitty teams right I'd rather be myself than Jimmy yeah yeah right right yeah I don't probation officer when I cross state lines anymore. Right, right.
Okay, same page. Andy Dalton, that was nice.
He had one last win. That was cool.
Shout out, Andy. Yeah, he ran for a touchdown.
That was awesome. All right.
When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Jets, Bills, we don't really have to talk about this except for the fact my AFC, Michael Strahan, Dark Horse team, has to be the Jets.
Okay. Because in the last eight games of the season, the AFC East teams, Jets 6-2, Bills 4-4, Dolphins 4-4, Patriots 4-4.
The AFC East, the season just ran out on the Jets. You can't get mono twice.
If it had kept on going, they would have been the AFC East champions like somewhere around week 28. Yeah, and Jerry Jones' dream of having a 25-week NFL season, that would heavily favor the Jets.
Adam Gase is coming back, too. They're firing him.
You know this is going to happen. That's exactly what they do to make their predictions.
They just look at what teams played well down the stretch in the last couple games, and then they're everyone's dark horse. My big takeaway was that Matt Barkley is still in the league.
Yes. Oh, yeah.
He's still out there throwing big time. Oh, yeah.
Also, the guy that said Dallas is going down, that Bills fan, the super fan, he is considering filing a lawsuit against the Bills because they're using his video, and he feels that he should be compensated for that. Good.
So we support him. Only in America.
As we did with Ragnar of the Minnesota Vikings, I think that you should pay him for the video that he put out 20 years ago. I love this guy because he, as of like three weeks ago, Thanksgiving, I thought he was dead.
Like everyone just kept on saying he's dead, and then he just popped up. That video's been – He's just drunk.
But that video's been being – No, he actually isn't. He doesn't even drink.
That's the craziest part. That's him sober? He was sober in that video.
He was sober in that video. Because he was mad because there's a craft beer company in the Buffalo area that's making beer with his likeness, and he's pissed because of that too.
Okay. So people are trying to get on him.
Yeah, he's getting his name and likeness. Yeah.
We'll send you a $50 gift card to the Barstow store. You got it.
Yeah, so the Bills, they didn't try. I'm excited for Saturday when they play against the Texans.
We'll get to that in a minute. Bears, Vikings, whatever.
Congratulations. You got a kicker now.
We swept the Vikings two years in a row. Yeah.
No big deal. So classic Kirk Cousins can't win a game against a 500 team.
Even though he didn't play, I'm still pinning this one on him. Yep.
And Matt Nag after the game for me 2020 starts right now literally the second I walk off this stage so congrats to Matt Nagy the Bears have a head coach that can time travel he's living two days in the future 2020 literally starts now he's also a teenager who doesn't understand the word literally I can't imagine a worse secret power than being able to time travel, but only two days in advance. And it's two days in advance to go over your shitty football team and how bad of a season it was.
Yeah, if he time travels, that's two days that you could have been watching the double doink video on repeat, Matt Nagy. How are you going to improve on that? Matt Nagy's like when Dwight Schrute is the bellhop at the Hell Hotel.
Oh, that's the dream job. Yeah, his dream job.
That's Matt Nagy. He's like, my dream job is to get a two-day jump on going over the corpse that was the 2019 Chicago Bears.
That's all he's going to be doing is just straight up like a dissection of the entire season. So he's not going to do anything productive in those two days.
There's no good tape. No.
it sucked. The whole season sucked and it's going to be the exact same team next year.
So congrats time traveling coach. And we don't have a first round pick.
I want to give Kirk cousins credit and the Minnesota Vikings. Yeah.
Because Kirk cousins did beat a 500 or better team this year. He beat the Eagles because the Eagles finished nine and seven.
Yeah. Or did they finish? Yeah, they finished eight.
So Kirk Cousins, congratulations. Credit where credit's due.
You did it. You did it.
You finally, you finally got over that hump. You did it.
Oh man. Yeah.
And now you have to go to the Superdome, right? They're playing against the saints. Oh, the Vikings.
And I don't want to beat up on Vikings fans here, but I'd have to imagine. I have some friends that are Vikings fans and I talked to them after the game today.
I think this has got to be the least pumped up a fan base has to be for a playoff team. To finish the season the way they did that Monday night game against Green Bay and then they didn't try today so it doesn't really count, but to have to go to the Superdome? Is Dalvin Cook is he healthy? Oh wait, no, they're not going to the Superdome.
Check that. They're not going to the Superdome.
Oh wait, yes they are going to the Superdome is dalvin cook is he healthy uh i last oh wait no they're not going to superdome check that they're not going to the super oh wait yes they are going yes they are yes they are they are going to the superdome because last i saw dalvin cook he was he was holding the oxygen mask up to his ear yeah to try to hear the air that was coming out and the concussion spotter was like god i was like that's that's one thing that i can't fuck up i'm pretty sure that that's a sign he's on the banana phone so hopefully banana phone. So hopefully he's better because he's actually a lot of fun to watch.
I like Dalvin Cook. But they're going to get, I mean, what's...
Minnesota Miracle Rematch. What's going to be the line in that game? You want to play a game called Guess the Line? Yeah, let's play a game called Guess the Line.
I think it's going to be Saints by 6.5. Ooh i would say saints by seven and a half okay all right let's look it up vikings opening line let me get my cousin uh big mark on this to look it up uh what's the line oh that's last year's i was gonna say vikings minus four and a half wow oh i actually nailed it seven and a half okay didn't cheat seven and a half uh the saints are gonna kill the saints the saints might be the hottest team going into the playoffs actually it's perfect because they're the next team on our list they might be the hottest team going into the playoffs i mean they lost that game against the 49ers but they're playing well obviously the ravens are but the saints are in the nfc playing fucking awesome football my big question is is antonio brown going to get a Super Bowl ring if they win one? Dude, how about him not passing the simple test? Don't bring an entire film crew.
Yeah, don't spend a lot of money on this flight over here for a workout. He's like, no, I'm going to spend the money.
Yeah, oh, I'm going to bring the film crew. You got to spend money to make money.
That's big business. We don't say the P word.
He brought the entourage, though he brought the whole crew and uh yeah way to go antonio brown i actually think this was a move by the saints just to make sure that the patriots wouldn't get him well i also think that sean payton likes to do things every now and again just to let everyone know that he's crazy and to say fuck you goodell yeah and that he's capable of literally anything right so he'll do something that's just off the so other coaches will be like, this guy, I don't know how to game plan for an insane person. Yes.
So, yeah, the Saints killed the Panthers. We'll do just a quick.
This was also like a celebration. This was a thank you from the Panthers to the Saints for allowing Dan Quinn to beat them in that one big pivotal game, which probably ensured Dan Quinn coming back for next year.
It's like a gentleman's handshake. It was never in doubt.
And the only thing I would say is I want to just say quickly, Christian McCaffrey, unreal year, lost in the fact that he was on a Panthers team. Remember when the Panthers were maybe going to make the play? They were going to sneak in here.
It was obviously midseason, so it was a long way to go. But that game in Lambeau, and Kyle Allen drives them all the way down the field, doesn't score.
I feel like their season ended right there. But Christian McCaffrey is the third player ever to go 1,000-1,000.
And the crazier stat from Christian McCaffrey, 403 touches this year, zero loss fumbles. That is nuts.
That's nuts. That's like Ben Jarvis Greenellis level production.
That's crazy. Also, shout out to the Panthers.
You kicked a field goal when you're down 35. I love it.
You got to get on the board. Yeah.
You got to do something. Listen, it's called the Pat Shermer newspaper box score play.
You have to make sure that if someone wakes up, some guy wakes up, he didn't watch any NFL Sunday, he picks up his paper, and he sees the box score play you have to make sure that if someone wakes up some guy wakes up he didn't watch any nfl someday he picks up his paper and he sees the box score he doesn't want to see a shutout yep you gotta take the points at home yes all right next up we'll go to the uh afternoon games so the the one o'clock games were good the obviously the jamis and the patriots were the big stories but it was all kind of gearing up the late games, what would happen because there was a lot more at line. They stacked the deck that way.
Yeah, I was wondering why they didn't have the Chargers and the Chiefs play the late game today. It's kind of weird.
I think they just basically make it so that no game can affect another game. They have to all play at the same time when it comes to seeding, right? So the Titans and Steelers had to play at the same time.
But the Raiders played in the afternoon. Yeah, the Raiders were linked with the Titans and Steelers.
Okay, so that's about who you were linked with, not with your division. Right, right.
All right, Redskins, Cowboys. Jerry Jones watching the Eagles game was so funny.
And just the disgust. Jerry Jones also said after the game.
Tell me if you can pick up a theme from this jerry jones quote okay i've made changes and i can see myself making a lot of changes in a lot of areas in a lot of areas the time calls for change i'm about change yeah tupac i think he's gonna do some changes it's time to start making changes maybe maybe i made a g today yeah maybe a sleazy way maybe selling back to the kids he's gonna to do some changes. It's time to start making changes.
I made a G today, but you made it a sleazy way. Selling Dak to the kids.
He's going to get a new office chair. I don't know.
Maybe a bigger monitor for his computer. I have a challenge for you, Jerry Jones.
Just coach the team. Just coach the Dallas Cowboys.
Or have your fucking failed son coach the team. You know Jerry Jones wants to coach the team secretly? Mm-hmm.
Maybe not even secretly. He literally wants to coach.
I mean, Jason Garrett might just be calling all the plays that Jerry Jones is radioing in from up in his box. Jerry, just coach the team.
If I were Jerry Jones, I'd coach the team. Why not? Fuck it.
You're the owner. And what Jerry Jones does better than anybody else in this league is he takes full credit for how bad he is at everything.
So he'll always say after a game that they lose, it starts at at the top with me i'm not gonna blame anybody else he's great at admitting that he sucks at stuff well it's the greatest job in the world to have to be able to say i suck this is terrible it's my fault oh yeah i can't be fired because i'm the boss yeah it'd be yeah it's all about accountability here yeah right you see he finds himself and then he writes a check to himself. I mean, I would do the same thing.
Like, hey, listen, guys. The buck stops here.
I screwed up. I messed up.
Oh, yeah, I'm a billionaire and I can't be fired. Yeah, he just writes himself a check for $50,000 and then takes it and cashes it and buys a whole shitload of Johnny Walker.
Jerry Jones, coach the team. If you get off to a slow start, you can fire yourself at head coach.

You've always wanted to do that.

That's the pinnacle of a boss move right there,

is being so powerful that you're even more powerful than you are.

So fire yourself and then install Jason Witten as your head coach.

Oh, man.

He would do something like that, make Jason Witten the head coach. He's thinking about it.

Yeah, for sure.

I guarantee you he is. One too many Johnny Walkers in a late night meeting at Jason Witten's house, and he's going to be the head coach.
Because Jason Witten is a guy that's just, he reminds him of better times. Right.
He's around. He's like, we were competitive.
We weren't that good. No, we made the playoffs a couple times.
I think Jason Witten has two wins, two playoff wins. But still.
That's the best. Better than they were, better than they are now.
Right. And so he sees Jason Wynn, he's like, that boy can win me a championship.
Yeah. I also love that the Cowboys, like, everyone just keeps saying the most talented team to underachieve.
Like, maybe they just weren't that talented, too. No, I think they are.
I think they are pretty talented. Yeah, but they also kind of suck.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, they put up big numbers against bad teams, but the mark of a good team and of talent is to win a big game against a good opponent, and they just didn't.
So are we sure? Are we sure they're talented? Are we sure they're talented? They're talented, but they're not good. That's where their problem lies.
Oh, man. When you look at all their skill positions and their offensive line even, they have an amazing offense on paper.
So I'm gonna go with uh dak prescott was just hurt yeah he was injured for the second half of the season uh i look forward to jerry jones very emotional teary-eyed press conference when he fires jason garrett because you know he will he'll get all you know he'll probably do it super hung over so already have some tears worked in you know when you're so hung over that you're just like wake up crying yeah he'll have that you wake up crying no little tear in your eyes you're like damn this talk about something no it's i i think that's a something that happens when you're so hungover that your eyes are like already bloodshot definitely yeah definitely the bloodshot you know what happens to me when i'm hungover when i walk outside and the wind hits my face the first time i look like no sean moreno during the star spanking yes yeah so that So that's going to be Jerry Jones, either Monday, Tuesday. I don't know.
He'll figure out a way. He'll actually probably fire Jason Garrett like 3 o'clock on Saturday, right before the playoffs start, so we can talk about that.
I think that Jerry Jones doesn't know what he's going to do with Jason Garrett yet. I think that he's going to have his press conference.
He's going to sleep on it. He's going to sleep on it and he's still not going to know and he's going to open his mouth and then whatever comes out of his mouth at that time is his decision.
He doesn't, Jerry, he's not a big planner. You don't have to be a big planner when you're that rich.
No. Alright, Raiders, Broncos, Vic Fangio.
He was asked about Drew Locke being 4-1. He corrected them saying the Broncos are 4-1.
Also, Vic Fangio, do we have to take his football guy card? Because he got a little emotional, Vic Fangio, over the week. He said that he watches Hallmark movies.
He watched Christmas Under the Stars on Christmas Eve because he wanted to feel all Christmassy. And he said, quote, I'd rather a chick flick than a shoot-em-up, blow-em-up movie.
Vic Fangio, is he... He's firmly in the...
Does he have a heart? Well, no, he just loves Christmas movies. He wants a chick flick.
So he solved the die-hard Christmas movie riddle once and for all, which we've resolved to never discuss again. Doesn't want it.
But no, he's like your grandfather. Your grandfather, he has his programs that he likes to watch, his stories around Christmas time.
He's probably seen all those movies a hundred times he doesn't like new stuff yeah so every christmas he just sits down parks his ass in front of the tv and watches christmas vacation and white christmas like six times in a row and he just feels good about it right i don't i don't hate that actually from if you're going to have a defensive surly coach i kind of like a little heart i kind of like the fact that he's got side. Well, you know it's a big deal because I think I saw that quote a hundred times on Twitter.
Everyone's like, can you believe this? Vic Fangio said what? It's like one of those TMZ, like, hey, guess that Kardashian ass. And it's like, what? Vic Fangio said what? He likes Christmas movies? Yeah, he probably has doctor's orders to not watch shoot-em-up movies.
I imagine that triggers his blood pressure a little bit. It's true.
Yeah, if he watches shoot-em-up, blow-em-up, he immediately gets some kind of... Another kidney stone.
Yeah, another kidney stone, or he's like, yeah, his liver just starts to short-circuit and he can't do it. I want to give a shout-out to Drew Locke.
I've upgraded Drew Locke. He no longer has Moxie, so he's played through the Moxie.
He now has poise, which means that he's good enough to just expect Moxie from him. So I think Drew Locke is going to be the quarterback of the future in Denver.
He's definitely, obviously, the second-best quarterback in that division, pending Phillip Rivers coming back or not.

Correct.

But Drew Locke is going to be a beast.

A beast?

I think he's going to be very, very good.

A beast.

I like Drew Locke a lot.

How many Pro Bowls?

Well, Pro Bowls, I mean, Andy Dalton made.

No, no, voted Pro Bowl.

Top three quarterback in the AFC.

No, I'm going to take your original question and say he will be in five Pro Bowls. Five Pro Bowls.
Five Pro Bowls. Damn.
Okay. Okay.
Drew Locke, five-time Pro Bowler. I'm sure John Elliott will fuck it up, though.
He'll probably draft someone else. I've got a little stat here for you.
This is from Josh Dubow. He's at the AP.
He says that Derek Carr lost his 55th game as a starting quarterback this week. The only quarterback to lose more in his first six seasons.
Guess who it was? Peyton Manning. David Carr.
Damn. With 56.
I was hoping it was one of those Peyton Manning. The answer is always Peyton Manning.
Well, the Carr brothers are the opposite of the Manning brothers. Shout out Peyton Manning, by the way, for just having such bad statistics his rookie year that you can basically link any bad quarterback to his rookie year and be like, you know who also sucked? Peyton Manning.
No, he made a lot of people a lot of money based off sucking initially. It's great.
It was a very nice thing. He paid it forward for future generations in the NFL.
But yeah, the Carr brothers are officially now the reverse Manning brothers. I love it.
I love it. A total of 111 losses combined in their first six seasons.
Oh, they've got a brother that intercepts cosmetic problems for their wives, too. Oh, yeah.
So that's also a little Manning thing. Yeah, that's true.
That's actually a good point. It's a perfect Manning.
Yeah, they're the shadow. Yeah, he takes Mascara.
Upside down world Mannings. And Peyton takes HGA.
Yeah. The Raiders, the weirdest team to still be mathematically alive in week 17.
Fun fact, the Raiders are technically still alive to make the playoffs somehow. Yeah.
If the Titans just don't show up. Yeah.
If they all contract swine flu. Yeah.
I think the Raiders do. So that's going to be weird.
They're the alternate team. Say something nice about the Raiders.
The Death Star football stadium. Now I get it.
That's why you're going to Vegas. That fucking stadium is awesome.
I mean, you've got to actually put a good team in it. But in terms of the intimidation factor, just by driving up, 10 out of 10.
At what point in the offseason do they start to move to Las Vegas? Do the players start to move there? I think Gruden's already there. Well, I know Mark Davis is already there.
Mark Davis is already there. He's already in the fucking P.F.
Changs at the Cosmo. He's got his own seat there.
Yeah, he's been there. All right.
Cardinals, Rams, Kyler Murray, maybe Offensive Rookie of the Year, either him or Jacobs. I don't know.
It's such a sad debate that we're having for this award. It really, it shouldn't go to anybody.
But you know that it's off to a bad start when people are lobbying for it openly. Yeah.
So Kyler Murray and the Cardinals put out a bunch of graphics. His agent.
His agent also put out his own separate four-year consideration thing, saying he's one of five quarterbacks to do X, Y, and Z. He was good.
He was very good. He was good, but there was nobody.
Josh Jacobs, I think, was going to win it hands down, but he got hurt. Right, right.
But Kyler Murray, I think you have to say he's good. Yeah.
He was a good season. I don't know.
Both these teams, I don't know what to expect out of them going forward like the rams are at a crossroads uh i think mcveigh's even said that like coaching they probably got to cash in they probably got to trade some pieces to get some draft capital back and then the cardinals i think they're good but it's always weird to watch teams like the cardinals where they're bad enough that they can sneak up on teams so if they ever get good can they be like good when teams expect it I hope they get you know what I mean just so that they can drive Matthew Barry insane because he's still going nuts oh yeah from how the team Twitter account rubbed his face in the David Johnson usage rate back in like week 12 Kenny and Drake's gonna get paid he's for him. Yes.
Huge. Huge.
Yeah. Good job.
But yeah, I don't know what else to say about the Cardinals. I think that Cliff Kingsbury is a decent coach.
Right. But there's nothing that he did this year that was really game changing.
Everyone expected him to come into the league and revolutionize or like add new wrinkles. And it was just kind of same old, same old.
And they all always, like the Cardinals always were in those frisisky games either they were in the frisky games or they're down so much that they could just throw the ball you know what i mean like they when they actually do get good will they be able to be good when they actually have to like people expect it and teams expect it they were just bad enough where they could sneak under the radar and get i think they got what six wins five wins we? Five wins? Where you're like, okay, sure. They played some games.
They were frisky at times. I don't know.
I don't know what else to say about the Cardinals. They're frisky.
Yeah, they won five games. They won 5-10-1.
That's the perfect frisky level. Yeah, not bad, not great.
As good as you can hope for out of a rookie quarterback in the state of Arizona, I guess. And so goes the worst segment that's ever been done about the Arizona Cardinals.
Let's talk about the Cardinals. Where you said nothing for two minutes.
I'll say something. Larry Fitzgerald's ass is still thick.
Oh, I'll say something. Somewhat controversial.
Uh-oh. I don't think Larry Fitzgerald should have been in the top 100.
Wow. I'll say it.

So Larry gets a lot of credit because he played with so many shitty quarterbacks.

He's very nice.

And he's very polite to the media.

Very polite.

Except when it comes to his father, he told his father,

let's have some respect for the biz and turn your cell phone off

when you're interviewing me.

But, yeah, he's always been like a fan favorite.

He's been a media darling.

And he's got a big ass, so people love him were who were the wide receivers that were in the top 100 i i i'm sorry but i'm just gonna say it and i'll stick by it i don't even know who's in the top 100 let me see i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i'm looking i disagree i think that's a trash take lar Larry Fitzgerald is a good wide receiver. Very good wide receiver.
He deserves it. I don't think T.O.
made it. T.O.
is better than Larry Fitzgerald. I'm sure someone will show me numbers.
I watched both guys play. I'd put T.O.
in there. I hope that one Cardinals fan that you take screenshots of, Cher, too.
Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry.
I'm just saying. He's a very good wide receiver.
They did a top 150. He'd be in there.
I think T.O. should be in there.
Disagree. Okay.
Who would you – you don't think T.O. is better? I think Larry is better.
Okay. I just – T.O.
had – he had big moments. He had playoff moments.
I don't know. T.O.
treated his quarterbacks – He was mean to the media. T.O.
treated his quarterbacks like Larry Fitzgerald should have treated his quarterbacks. T.O.
played for some pretty good passers and he acted like they were all Drew Stanton. That's true.
Alright, do your ad. I'm going to look up T.O.'s stats real quick.
I'm going to do my ad. Do your ad.
I'm going to do my ad and we're talking about Indos. That was a take that I just literally just threw out there that I have nothing to back it up and I hope that the stats back and ladies, here's an ad coming right down the pipeline for you.
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I was right. No, T.O.
was better. T.O.
had – he didn't play as many games as Larry Fitzgerald. If you want to go longevity, that's fine.
But T.O. had more yards per game.
He had more touchdowns per game. And guess what? I'm going to throw another name out there.
And, again, this is not against Larry Fitzgerald. He's top 12 wide receivers of all time.
Calvin Johnson was better than Larry Fitzgerald. Calvin Johnson didn't make the top 10.
I agree with that. Okay.
So there we go. Yeah, I think Calvin Johnson should have made...
Calvin Johnson and T.O. were better.
You know what? The NFL should have... They should have waited to the offseason to get us mad at lists.
Yes. Now's not the time for me to get mad at lists.
Right? I agree. That's March, April, May season right there.
So stupid. Save it for the summertime.
Like this is a perfect middle of June. I should be mad.
And I would have done my research and been like, all right, here's why. I just did that off the cuff there.
But I believe that. So maybe, you know what, Liam, write this down.
In June, let's do a very relevant thing. Let's go over the top 100 list and break it down.
We'll do a whole podcast. I think that's fair.
That's list season. NFL, that was a major baseball move.
No, we're going to do that. We're going to do literally a breakdown of the NFL 100 on a Friday afternoon in late June.
And we're going to get real pissed off about it. We're going to be ready with our arguments here.
Get ready, everyone. We might even have Rich Eisen calling.
I don't know if you saw, but he hosted it. I saw that.
And that's another thing. They do the show where they've got, like, Tom Brady.
It looked awesome. Brett Favre, Belichick, all sitting down, like, opening up about some of the players that they coached and coached against.
And it gets lost in the wash because, guess what? I'm busy worrying about getting my bed in for Thursday Night Football. There's bowl games on.
There's so much football going on right now. I saw some clips.
I was like, shit, I want to watch this. Bill Belichick talking about football is awesome.
And they threw it in there in the middle of all the live football. You fucked up.
Big time. You fucked up.
You just earned the bye week. I was going to say, even do this before the Super Bowl.
The week before the Super Bowl. All right, we're mad.
Leading into the Pro Bowl. Now you got us mad about being mad about...
I'm mad because I'm not able to get sufficiently mad enough about your list. Damn! You fucked it up.
Damn! Okay. Next up, Eagles Giants.
Eagles, NFC East champions, and they continued the trend. 15 consecutive seasons the NFC East champion did not repeat.
That's insane. NFC beast.
We beat each other up. That's insane also considering the fact that there's three Super Bowls in that 15 years out of the NFC East.
So it's crazy that that has happened yet again. I don't know how the Eagles did it this year.
This is one of those, like the Eagles aren't going to go far in the playoffs, but they need to get some type of an award where the way they kept this team together, Carson Wentz deserves all the credit. Doug Peterson deserves all the credit.
I was looking through it. Opening day, the week one, Carson Wentz's weapons were Darren Sproles, Jordan Howard, Deshaun Jackson, Zach Ertz, Alshon Jeffrey, Nelson Aguilar.
Week 17, with the division on the line, his weapons were Dallas Goddard, Greg Ward, Deontay Burnett, Josh Perkins, Boston Scott, Miles Sanders. It's crazy that he threw for 4,000 yards, throwing to literally is every single wide receiver he was throwing to week one, and then throw in Zach Ertz, who didn't play this week.
He's's throwing this completely different receiving court. I also think Zach Ertz, like he broke a rib.
I think his kidney got fucked up. Yeah.
Yeah. He might've had to have his rib removed.
I love Marilyn Manson. Nick Foles.
That's a guy that could probably suck his own dick without having the rib removal. But yeah, the weapons are totally gone.
Deshaun Jackson. They keep saying that Deshaun Jackson is going to come back eventually.
I feel like Deshaun was just like, I want to live in Philly and get paid, but I don't really want to play this year. I saw the report.
It's if they get to the second round, he's going to come back. Okay.
So he's not going to come back this week. But seriously, the Eagles, they get a home playoff game, and what they did this year, keeping it all together, Carson Wentz, I said this said this last week but i'll repeat it anyone who's been there and been like a true blue carson wentz guy you deserve the victory lap for this season because he threw for 4 000 yards to absolutely no one he played 16 games which everyone was talking about the health he he wins them the nfc east with like a bunch of band-aids and gauze and he beat that too he beat that so that's the big thing is now he's got one up on him 4 000 yards passing first time in eagles history again the bears the only team that hasn't done that at one point today there was a line to get into the blue medical tent on the sidelines that's how bad it was that's that's how bad the injuries were they were like waiting in line it's comical to see a doctor yeah it not funny, but it is funny the fact that every single Eagles player gets hurt.
Yeah. It's crazy.
So I don't really give them that much. Although we talked about going west to east for the Seahawks, but credit to them because they somehow won the NFC East in a season.
You know how there's never moral victories if your season ends on a loss and you're going to maybe lose in the wild card round? I think if you're an Eagles fan and you watch this season, you're okay, and this is obviously because of the Super Bowl a couple years ago, but you're okay with how this season went even if you lose on Sunday. I'm very much looking forward to the offseason takes when the Eagles don't fire their medical staff for all the Eagles fans to be like, what are we doing? Because they're going to keep the staff around.
I think it's injury luck. Sometimes just shit happens.
Doug Peterson might have played himself into an 8-8 contract extension. I don't know if they extended.
They probably extended him after the Super Bowl. Yeah, somebody do the math on this where you look at all the percentages of times that Doug Peterson goes for it on fourth down and see how many extra plays his offensive players have had to run over the last couple years and maybe that's all the wear and tear on them they need to do more load management by punting this is like the Tom Tom Thibodeau when the when the when he would play the starter he played Joe Kim Noah like 44 minutes in the middle of February yeah and they just all break down yeah like yeah that actually like maybe you shouldn't do that the math nerds didn't figure that one out when they were looking at their win probability.
The Giants, I don't know. DJ, DJ's your guy.
He fumbles so much. Skip Bayless is calling him Danny Pennies instead of Danny Dimes.
So kings stay kings. I really wish they'd let Eli in for that last drive.
Eli in the rain, he looks so sad. So sad.
I just wanted his wife to go down on the sidelines and smooch him like in the notebook. Yeah.
Just make out with him. Straight up tongue kissing.
He's entering his second adolescence. He was playing Flip Cup earlier this week.
Yes. I want to see him doing a sloppy make out with maybe a ludicrous song, the Usher Yeah song playing in the background.
Like it's a basement dance party back in 2003. To the windows, to the wall.

Yeah, play some yin-yang twins.

To the sweat trips off my balls.

Just show Eli Manning dry humping on the sideline.

Yeah, it's just sweaty as hell.

Yeah, it's just shirt untucked.

So everyone should read this article.

I think it was on ESPN.

Ian O'Connor, I think, wrote about it.

He did like a thing about Eli.

And Eli is one of those guys who I don't think anyone will ever fully appreciate it because appreciate him outside of giants fans reading it. He's just a fucking awesome guy.
Like, and I hate the Mannings, but Eli, you know, there was an anecdote that every single away game, he had someone in the, in the building would like get him a 12 pack that he could share with his offensive line on the bus ride to the plane yeah he didn't he's a white collar Wade Boggs yeah he literally did not yeah he exactly he just said just one or two responsible drinking he doesn't read the press to the point and everyone always like all the pro athletes like oh yeah I don't read the. He didn't read the press to the point that his dad, Archie,

had to tell him when he had issues in the locker room. He had to be like, hey, Eli, Odell said this.
Maybe heads up. That's how – not aloof, but like – Kind of aloof.
Yeah, kind of, but in a good way, an endearing way. So I'm going to miss Eli, and he deserves credit for having a hilarious career where he was remarkably average and then reached points of just insane heights at two different levels.

He always did seem like a good guy.

One thing I want to address directly to the people at the Red Zone channel.

Yeah.

More specifically, Andrew Siciliano.

Don't tell me when something is about to become a meme during a show.

He did a cut in to Eli Manning today where he was like, and it looks, folks, this is going to be a meme. And it was just a shot of Eli on the sideline getting rained on.
He wasn't even making the Manning face. They need to, the red zone, both Siciliano and Scott Hansen.
Who I love, by the way. I love you guys.
They need to take gambling training. Because spread zone.
Even in week 17, they were fucking up so bad. I didn't even see the end of the Broncos Raiders game when the Raiders were driving to score.
The Bears-Vikings game, the Bears were minus three and they had first and goal on the eight down two. If they score there, they So it's just someone has to teach them.
I'm sick of them talking about, especially in week 17. No one has fantasy.
Why don't you be the change you want to see in the world? I'll write a doc. Like I'll write like a whole handbook for him.
A handbook. I was going to say just tweet at him.
Yeah, no, I have. And as it's happening, maybe we'll have him on again just we'll educate them we'll put them through gambling training camp yeah i should have next year i'll record every single i should have damn it record all the times they fucked up no just imagine recording all the red zones just to play it like uh late at night and like you know april yeah fuck you don't wish i had done that you know what they go we week 12.
You're like, yeah, I'm just going to do the witching hour from week 12 again. The worst part about being a broadcaster on the Red Zone channel is you don't ever get to watch the Red Zone.
Yeah. So you don't get to see what it's like on the other side of the screen.
They need to watch tape. They need to go back every week.
Like Matt Nagy spent two days reviewing their performance. Get into time travel.
All right. Colts, Jaguars.
We're wrapping up here. It's American Ninja Warrior portion of the evening.
It is. Things are starting to get weird.
Doug Marone may be fired, could be fired, is fired, not fired. Schrodinger's coach.
I don't know. They might have saved the job.
Yeah. They're feisty.
Yeah. And honestly, the Colts, the only thing I can say for the Colts is someone needs to start the rumor that Andrew Luck's coming back because what we thought the Colts were when we're like, oh, man, can you believe the Colts holding it all together? That did not pan out.
They did not hold it together, no. I think that the Jaguars are going to clean house.
I think everyone's going to be gone. Because they fired Coughlin two weeks ahead of schedule.
I get the feeling that they want to start over all anew. Here's the only thing.
Doug Marone strikes me as the type of guy who can get in Shad Khan's office and have an emotional meeting and save his job. He is that type of guy.
I wouldn't say emotional. He's from the Bronx.
I think he could intimidate him. No, but Doug Miron's got a little...
Listen, he's a huge Elton... Billy Joel guy.
He's got a little Italian restaurant in him. He's got a little romantic side of him.
He can get in there. He's going to woo Shad Khan.
Can't you just see that report? After an emotional eight-hour... Doug Miron will bring some sandwiches.
He'll sit there. Way too many sandwiches.
He will fight for his job until Shag Khan's like, you know what? I have to go to my yacht in the Mediterranean. You know what? You just keep your job.
That's fine. I could see Doug Marone walking in there, pinstripe suit, double-breasted.
Tommy gun. He's got a violin case, but it's actually a violin inside of it.
It's actually just a fucking huge party sub.

Yeah, inside his violin case.

And he sits down and he goes,

You own Fulham FC?

It's a nice football team.

Be a nice soccer team.

Be ashamed if something happened to me.

Yeah, wouldn't want something to happen.

Your striker just trips and falls.

No, that would be real shame.

Hurts his knee.

Things happen.

Real shame.

Someone takes a little air out of the ball. if you know this about me but i paint houses doug marone keep your job he also he's a big shakespeare guy yeah he could go in and and start just like doing soliloquies from uh and monologues from othello off the top of his head i just i just have a feeling i i if you gun to my head i'd say he's probably fired but doug marone does strike me.
He's a fighter. He strikes me as that guy who will get in a room, and he will fight for his job, and there'll be some crying and some laughing, and it will just be a whirlwind.
And then, boom, he keeps his job. And then if the Jaguars start, like, one in three, he'll get fired in week five.
Well, here's the question. If Doug Marone was fired, would another team hire him immediately? For a job, yes.
Maybe not a head coaching job. He could be a coordinator.
Yeah. I think he'd have that one year period and then maybe get another one.
Right. So there's a guy like Ron Rivera who's going to get another head coaching job immediately.
Maybe the Redskins. Maybe the Redskins.
Hopefully. For you.
So it's not Marvin Lewis. That's what I'm hearing is that I'm tracking Dan Snyder's play.
You or Leroy? I am working with – In conjunction with Leroy? In conjunction with my dog, tracking Jets, and I've got Dan Snyder's – he's got a block tail number. I'm able to track his Jets, so I'm all over it.
Here's what I can report on Dan Snyder's plane activity. He has been going back and forth from Charlotte, North Carolina, to the Bahamas, which is where he interviews coaches.
The Bahamas Bowl was. No, he interviews coaches.
That's where he took Mike Shanahan like 10 years ago, and they both got drunk off Crown Royal, and he convinced Mike Shanahan, while under the influence of alcohol, to be his head coach. Okay.
So he's been taking a jet from Charlotte to the Bahamas. I'm sure that they've talked to Ron Rivera.
I'm sure that Ron Rivera was on one of those flights. I think Ron Rivera is going to be the next head coach of the R-Words.
And I think they're going to get an actual GM. So we're not going to be doing as much winning off the field now that Bruce Allen's gone, but hopefully we'll get one that knows what they're doing on it.
I like it. I like it.
All looking up. You know what I'm just doing to myself right now? It just dawned on me.
Like I was talking about the Detroit Lions fans earlier. After they convinced themselves that they won't get hurt again and they finally see that little bit of daylight, I'm seeing a little bit of daylight right now.
And I'm just going to get smashed. I'm going to get my dick shut in a revolving door.
I've been in the revolving door. I mean, I'm not this year, but I've been in the revolving door the last few years.
Getting a new coach is the most exciting thing you can do if your franchise stinks. It really is.
It's a new – you can sell yourself for at least two months that things will be different this time around. I could also see Dan Snyder trying to not miss out on the next Kyle Shanahan or Todd McVay or Matt LaFleur that they had on their staff and just promoting their assistant.
I think he's their offensive coordinator as a young guy to just being the new head coach and just going after that. Just chasing a three-year-old dream.
I like that. All right.
Steelers Ravens. We're wrapping up.
Steelers Ravens. Ravens are awesome.
14 and two by far the odds on favor to win the Super Bowl. I don't really know.
I wouldn't bet against them if I had. Would you take.
No, they're my team. Wait, would you take Ravens versus the field? No.
Okay. I don't think I'd do that, but I would take.
Because the Chiefs can beat them. Yeah, and the 49ers.
But the Ravens are by far the best team in the NFL right now. And the team that seems like they have the fewest holes.
Yeah, so the Chiefs can beat them in the AFC. In the NFC, there are a couple teams that I think the Saints could beat them, and I think that the 49ers could beat them.
Okay. So I would not take them against the field.
But this was also, we'd be remiss to not mention, the RG3 Matt Flynn game. Yes.
So he got himself. Robert Griffin playing for four quarters and not getting a knee injury is his equivalent of throwing six touchdowns in Week 17.
See, I can do it. Yeah, so RG3, congratulations.
I'm not made of glass. Maybe you earned yourself a contract.
For Steelers fans, we had the Christmas Day tweet from Big Ben who has blocked everyone. And it's always funny because I don't like to take ownership over things, but it feels like that's been stolen from us, The blocked by Big Ben thing.
We were on it like five years ago. When it started out, I think Florio said that what was going on was that everybody that followed me on Twitter was blocked by Big Ben.
Yeah. And then it kind of spread from there, and we've been talking about it for a long time.
Long time. Now it's like every time he tweets something out, it's like, wow, can you believe blocked by big ben whatever it's been stolen from us but we don't care but either way i i went on uh private mode to look at what he tweeted he tweeted a hilarious picture uh that you know you can do that that's a that's a move is just to check up on big ben uh he treated a hilarious picture of his family where his face was looking larger than ever.
And then a note, P.S. He did a P.S.
to a picture. P.S., contrary to recent reports out there about my football future and my uncertainty about playing again, I am working hard and am more determined than ever to come back stronger and better than ever next year.
So there it is. Steelers fans, you're okay.
Big Ben will be back. He will be back.
And you know what? If you're Big Ben, you saw that defense the way they played, you want to be back because if you just play average football, the Steelers win 10 games this year and are in the playoffs. Do you think that Big Ben's game would be hurt at all if he came back at 315 pounds and played? I don't think that it would.
He could maybe then break the record for longest touchdown if they ran like a little Philly special. Yeah.
From like the 40. Yeah, he could do that.
I was just going to say the longest touchdown time-wise because he could just sit back in the pocket for 10 seconds and have the entire team hanging off him. I don't think so.
No, I think if he could do yoga, if he was 300-plus in yoga, so he had the flexibility of a sumo wrestler, I actually think he'd be fine. Yeah, because his game is basically drop back in the pocket, stumble around clumsily for a couple seconds, have one player hanging on your shoulder, and then throw a deep bomb.
And then what we could have is the offensive line carry him down the field like Byron Lefkowitz, except he doesn't have an injury. He's just fat.
Just every play. Yeah, just like, hey, we've like hey we gotta get big ben down there all right uh wrapping up last game and then we'll do a little college football playoffs and send you on your way titans texans i'm happy that we're a derrick henry podcast 211 yards three touchdowns tractor cedo derrick henry season what a fucking beast rushing record rushing uh that sucks by the way.
The rushing title used to feel like something. Remember when we were kids, it was like, who's going to win the rushing title? Well, ever since running back by committee started happening, you don't get the high numbers.
You don't get 1,900, 2,000 yards. How many yards did he end up with? I don't know.
Let me guess. 16 or something.
16. Yeah, somewhere around 1,600 or something.
But there were hard yards. Hard yards.
Hard yards. He finishes runs hard yards he finishes runs yes and finishes the season strong and uh agent mccarron played and i just anytime agent mccarron pops up i just look up the the agent uh sushi place yeah which i didn't notice this until today aj mccarron has a sushi place in tuscaloosa alab.
Hot bed for sushi. Yep.
It's all catfish. It's called Asian.
How do you pronounce it? Asian. But it's Asian.
But the J is part of the Asian. Yeah.
So it's not AJ and it's Asian. So in perfect AJ McCarron fashion, he took the AJ and put it sideways and put in a little script so it looks like it's Chinese lettering.
Oh, okay. So he invented his own character in the alphabet.
Yeah, that's the flair where you're like, is this an Asian restaurant? Oh, yeah, there's an AJ sideways. I like it.
That's it. He should have just had his ginormous chest tattoo be the logo for his restaurant.
Yeah, look at that. See? The AJ.
Oh, yeah. That's nice.
That's very classy. So he definitely has that tattooed somewhere on his body.
Have you seen his chest tattoo? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
He's got the business tattoo. Yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah, he and Kevin Durant. Yep.
And then we'll finish here with the slate talking about next weekend wildcard. Wait, wait.
Real quick. Yeah.
So, yeah. Next weekend wildcard.
Yeah, I was going to dovetail into that too because the Titans are going to play against the Patriots in Foxborough. Ryan Tannehill as the quarterback.
I didn't look this up properly, but I'm pretty sure that I looked it up well enough to be correct about it. Okay.
I think Ryan Tannehill has the best winning percentage of any current starting quarterback against the Patriots with more than two starts. Okay.
Didn't look it up well. I agree with that stat.
I think he's four and six. And I'm going through in my mind the other quarterbacks in the league that might compare to that.
Drew Brees might. Drew Brees might be the one.
Drew Brees might. Yeah.
That sounds right. I think Drew B breeze might be the only one that has a better career record so like going batting 400 against the patriots as a starting quarterback russell wilson might be two and one three and one no because they don't play enough they don't yeah he used to play him twice a year and he would win one of those two yeah i think i might be right.
Damn. So he's not going to be afraid of the Patriots.
I'm just going through my brain real quick. And, yeah, Eli, but he's not a starter quarterback.
Lamar, but he's only got. Yeah, Patrick Mahomes is, I don't know, 1-1 or 2-1-2.
Yeah. All right, so that was stats by us.
Okay. I like it yeah so i'm what you're hearing right now is myself talking my own brain into betting on the titans yeah so uh and then the houston saturday game i don't i feel like they're just fucking with us at this point where just pencil them in pen pen them in saturday espn game that everyone's kind of watching but kind of also doing like a bunch of stuff because they got to get – I'm talking about the rest of America, not talking about us because we'll be watching it.
But that game is always so funny, so bad, and it's going to be bad probably. I think the Bills are going to win, but they're going to win it ugly.
Yeah, I agree. I don't think that there's a worse home field advantage than in Houston Saturday afternoon wildcard weekend.
I think the Bills are going to dominate. Fuck, man.
Is there a rule that's in the Texans' official handbook saying that they have to start the most hilarious quarterback week 17 every year? Yes. Because I feel like it's...
It's great. It's either an A.J.
McCarron, T.J. Yates probably did it a few times.
Tom Savage, I'm sure, started a week 17 17. Oh yeah.
For the Texans. Oh yeah.
He did. But yeah, they're going to get, yeah.
Whedon was definitely a little bit. He is, uh, I don't know.
He's probably at his kids, high school football games. Damn.
I want, yeah, no, his kids are out of high school. Okay.
Yeah. Um, Brandon Whedon is a free agent.
Someone scoop him up. Yeah.
Someone scoop him up. Okay, let's do – we'll do the full preview on Thursday.
Remember, we're going to drop that a little early on Thursday. Ooh, also Saturday night.
Oh, yeah. After the – what's it? The late game is going to be – 8-15, Patriots-Titans.
Patriots-Titans. If you're in Long Island, come out to see – On Long Island.
If you're on Long Island, come out to see Pop Punk play. If you're on Long Island, come out to see Pop Punk play.

We're playing at Mulcahy's.

We played there like two months ago, I think.

It was an awesome time.

Yeah.

Great time on Long Island, Saturday night, January 4th.

Come out.

Yes.

It's very, very cheap.

Get loaded with us.

Scream live updates on what the score of the Patriots game is

so I can make sure that all my bets are winning at the time on stage. It's going to be a great time.
And you know what it is. It's birthday month.
Birthday month. What up? What did you get us for birthday month, Liam? Jumpsuit January, too.
What did you get us for birthday month? You're going to have to wait. Bro, birthday month.
We celebrate the whole month. All right, let's do college football real quick.
So LSU, that was awesome. A shit pumping.
That was fucking awesome. Seven touchdowns in the first half from Joe Burrow.
No, he didn't have seven. Yes.
I thought he threw one in the second half. I think he had seven in the first half.
He ran for the last one in the second half. He had seven touchdowns in the first half.
He had a passer rating of 200. I don't know how college football determines

passer rating, but it was 200.

That sounds like a lot.

I said this while the game was going

on, but it was when you play

EA college football and

you schedule FC Midwest

to absolutely kill them

week one so you can get

10 touchdowns and

do your stat padding for Heisman. He did that in the fucking semifinal.
That was crazy. Yep.
So good. Oklahoma's players looked afraid on offense when they were going up against that LSU defense.
PFT, I want to right now, here and now, say that Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the college football playoff. I'm so sick of getting sold on Oklahoma's defense being fixed and this and that.
One step further, the entire Big 12. Done.
One-year ban for the Big 12. Out.
I can't do it. And I was rooting for LSU.
I bet on LSU, but I still wanted a competitive game because it was a game that I just like no I wanted it to be I wanted to be at least like that game was over I we so we're going to New Orleans we're going to New Orleans for the national championship I texted you guys seven minutes in the first quarter I'm like I just booked our hotels in New Orleans yeah because that's how fast it was over it was one of those games where I was laughing because it was so out of hand so early so hand. To me, I did not want a competitive game.
I wanted at least half. I wanted to get worse.
I wanted Joe Burrow to throw for 10 touchdowns. I did want Edo to leave him in just because it looked like the funnest thing that you could ever do.
To be Joe Burrow in that moment where you're playing a video game in real life and in the zone. And LSU's backup running back turns out is really good too.

Yeah, they're all good.

So they're going to have another two weeks

for Edwards or Laird to get back.

Yeah, and Jefferson had four touchdowns

in the first half.

Randy Moss was in the crowd crying

when his son was scoring touchdowns.

Someone who's friends with Randy Moss,

get us hooked up with him

so we can interview him on Monday

before the National Championship game, please.

Yes.

That's our please.

I promise you it'll be a good interview. Yeah, we're going to be there Sunday through Tuesday.
Let's have some fucking beers. And that was awesome.
The question is, is there any way that the Bengals don't take Joe Burrow number one? Could they talk themselves into going after the Bengals? They draft Chase Young because they have to compete against Lamar and Baker. I mean, they can because of the Bengals, but that would be so stupid.
Joe Burrow has so much fucking swag and cool to him. He just eats defenses alive and doesn't even smirk.
He's just this steely-eyed, he's an assassin. He's so good.
Babyface assassin. And Coach O, goddammit, I'm so happy for him.
So that's going to be, that will be the loudest stadium we'll ever be in our life right yeah i think if coach o new orleans lsu if coach o wins the national championship in new orleans he becomes king of louisiana yes and he might already be mike the tiger serves by the side he might already be as his hand yes uh all right the other game ohio state clemson here's a stat for you pft okay there have been 17 college uh football playoff games 12 of the 17 have been won by Clemson or Alabama that's insane that's a pretty impressive stat Clemson won this game I thought they were dead Trevor Lawrence when he got the targeting call which was a correct call people are mad about it I understand I think if you're an Ohio State fan you have you should be mad about the fumble because I feel like that was a correct call. People are mad about it.
I understand. I think if you're an Ohio State fan, you have...
You'd be mad about other stuff. You should be mad about the fumble because I feel like that was a weird situation where it just looked like a fumble.
I know that when they played it fast, whatever. Ohio State, you can be mad if you're an Ohio State fan, but what Trevor Lawrence did, that run, the fact that he's never lost, he's insane.
The hair flip. And Dabo, you know, the God train was on full fucking display after.
His quote was, the favor of God was just with us tonight. So God reached down and he said, I'm not the Ohio State University God.
Yeah. I'm the Clemson University.
Also so perfect that they showed Urban Meyer 10 seconds before the interception. I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with that because it looked like he was coaching.
He was on the sidelines. Was he there? Did Ohio State bring him on the sideline? Or was he there as a member of the media? Because he looked like he was coaching that team.
He was wearing all black and it was the Grim Reaper just showed up and boom, you lost on the next play. Hands on his knees.
Then right after the game was over, they ate a bunch of Papa John's. Yep.
As is tradition. As is tradition for a losing Ohio State team.
No, but Clemson deserves all the credit because as much as there were some controversial calls, and I understand Ohio State. Listen, Ohio State, you also have the national championship against Miami where the flag came out of the fucking stands in that game to keep to keep that game alive.
So you, yeah, that's true. There's some karma balance.
That was 20 years ago. Yeah.
I'm just saying Warren Sapp was on the field. There's, there's, there's some karma, but, uh, you have reason to be upset.
I, I will fully like endorse Ohio state fans being angry, making YouTube videos, breaking it down, do it all because you deserve it. There were some suspect calls, and of course everyone has the SEC, ACC conspiracy theories.
Follow the money. But that is also with all that said, is taking away from an unreal performance by Clemson and a team that looked dead and Trevor Lawrence looked like he was going to come out of the game and come out of the semifinal.
And they came back and were just nails. Imagine saying following the money to explain the fact that Clemson got into the national championship game instead of Ohio state.
Yeah. Like Ohio state is a much, much bigger issue.
I know what they're saying, which is the, that ESPN owns rights to the ACC. So it's better.
This is some like owns big it be some long game for ESPN to pay off the refs to get Clemson in so that they're marginally... Sounds like you followed the money.
So next year, the Clemson-Wake Forest game is going to have 120,000 viewers instead of 100,000. Yes.
Sounds like you correctly followed the money. Fixed it.
But I'll say this about Ohio State fans. They are probably the most qualified fan base to break down all the officiating errors.
Oh, yeah. Like you said, with YouTube videos, with message board posts.
Oh, yeah. That's perfect.
Ohio State is really, really good at that. They've got swarms of very passionate fans out there.
If you think what are specialties of different fan bases, I um arkansas at tracking plans i think lsu at uh at barbecuing animals before games that look like they're yes harry potter yep i think ohio state putting together a youtube video with like the background music of loose change pausing it showing different angles different camera angles it's now your it's your mantle to take over for Michigan fans after that fourth down call two years ago. Yes.
So it's on you to represent the Big Ten in this. And I'm sure that you're up for the challenge.
You got it. You got it.
Can I do a quick just recap of the bowl games? Because I I watch too many bowl games. I'm in that zone.
This two week stretch where I just my life just becomes like watching football and really bad football. So quickly, Independence Bowl had 18 punts.
It was awesome. 14-0 Louisiana Tech and they had the Shreveport mayor gave like a come to Shreveport and behind him it was Gray Skies.
They could pick any fucking day. Also, if you've ever been to Shreveport, there's so many better things to highlight in Shreveport.
You have like seven casinos. You're an hour away from the world's worst strip club in Waco, Texas.
There's a lot of great things about Shreveport, Louisiana that you can highlight. Just having the cityscape on an overcast day, you could have done a little bit.
Like a Brown River. Yeah.
So, yeah, the Independence Bowl was my favorite random bowl game that you get sucked in watching, and it's so bad it becomes good. 18 punts.
The Quick Lane Bowl, Eastern Michigan. I love they all wore mechanic shirts, the coaching staff.
They gave it their all against Pitt. The Military Bowl, UNC, Sam Howell's awesome.

Wait, you didn't even mention how they broke through a cinder block.

Yeah, they do that every game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's awesome.

Military Bowl, Sam Howell's awesome.

He is, circle him, because he's going to be like a Heisman guy in a couple years.

He's a freshman, true freshman.

Holiday Bowl, USC is soft, softest, soft of all time.

Iowa whooped that ass, Big Ten tough. And they're not firing their head coach at USC.
Is that correct? No, they're not. So, what's his name? Ari? Ari Abraham? He was incorrect with that.
Yeah, he was material changed. Wait, was it him or was it the person from Sports Illustrated? I can't remember.
The new, like, SB Nation Sports Illustrated person. That game was weird because Slovis got hurt and he's going to be a Heisman guy next year, but he got hurt, so it kind of changed it.
But I bet Iowa, because they don't lose the Hayden Frye just passed away game. And also...
Do you see they took the decal off because that's his decal? He created that? Yep. That was a fucking cool move.
Yeah, so I saw them play, and I just thought Pittsburgh Steelers. Yeah, yeah.
Which he actually, when... I think it goes that when he came and took over the Iowa program, he basically created Iowa and what it is.
He asked the Steelers if he could use basically their exact uniform setup to make them look tough. He did the pink locker rooms.
Legendary coach passed away, I think like 10 days ago or so, but that was a no-brainer. Pinstripe ball.
Fuck the Pinstripe ball. I don't know if you saw.
Wake Forest and Michigan State scored 41 points in the first half and the overrunner was 50 and they only scored one touchdown in the second half including Wake Forest trying to let Michigan State score and Michigan State tripped over their own player. Okay.
But the Big Ten won so who cares. Cheez-It ball was not the same.
That's all my ball recap. Cheez-It ball was definitely not the same.
Not the same. This is what happens when you try to capture magic.
Right. They don't understand.
Yeah, you can't make it happen again. They do this.
This is like what you were saying with Siciliano being like, ooh, meme this. That's not how it works.
It has to happen organically. The Cheez-It Bowl was actually the Independence Bowl this year.
The Independence Bowl had 18 punts, and it was so fucking bad. It was awesome to watch.
And it's like, it happens once, it could still happen this week, because we have some random bowls. It's got to be a bowl game that no one's excited for, that is really bad, and then you get locked in, and you feel like you're watching it with only 200 other people.
That's the cheese at bowl magic. It's magic.
It develops a community around it. Right.
Also, one last note about the Ohio State-Clemson game. This was a tweet from Eric Sorensen.
He's a sports reporter. He says, A Clemson student journalist just told an established Ohio State writer to stop cheering in the press box.
That's been the highlight of this night. Ooh.
That's the highlight. That's the highlight.
That's the highlight. That's huge.
All right. Let's wrap up.
Again, we're going to be new show on Thursday morning no show Thursday morning we're going to take New Year's Day off right because we figured it's weird to do a show on Thursday morning and then a show on Friday morning so instead we're going to try to release Friday's show on Thursday at like 6 or 7pm som. So we're going to tape it early.
Whole preview for the NFL wild card round. Whole recap of Wednesday's bowl games.
Wisconsin's going to win the Rose Bowl PFT. You're locking that up right now? I hope.
Okay. I'd like to do an experiment real quick.
Just something I thought about earlier today. Yeah.
Alexa, download part of my take. Alexaa download part of my take alexa play the best alexis texas video you can find alexa go to www.pornhub.com love you guys wait oh we forgot to do who's back oh who's back that was a good ending though yeah let's keep this in uh quick who's back real quick

go bubba bubba uh new year's resolutions yes are back yes uh i feel like big cat you're always big

on them yeah i got one this year i'm gonna go 2020 pft you in it in it with me 20 push-ups 20

squats every day never changing people have been saying like oh, like, oh, add, like, five a month. No, no, no.
20, 20. That's all we're doing.
I like a little variety, though. No, that's all we're doing.
We're just getting the base level strength. By this time next year, I'll be doing 20 push-ups in, like, four seconds.
I want to have big-ass arms. Okay.
So will that get me there? Sure. Okay.
20 push-ups a day, 20 squats. I don't know.
No, I don't know about that. I want to get the bench press working here.
Get working on that. Actually, I had an idea last week.
I went to one of these Orange Theory fitness classes, which is one of these cult-like fitness experience things where they put a monitor on you. They tell you how many splat points you get.
I want to do a different, yeah, splat points. That's what they're called.
It's their proprietary measurement of how fit you get and how less of a slob you become. Sounds legit.
Yep. So I'm going to do, I want to do a different cult-like fitness experience every month.
Nice. So whether that's CrossFit, whether that's Pilates.
Barry's Boot Camp. Barry's Boot Camp.
I'll do one of those. You name it.
I want some suggestions for different new trendy fitness things for me to try, and I'll review them. I'll probably just blog them all.
But, yeah, I feel like that would be a fun thing to do. Get yourself fit.
Yeah, and then I also – I'm going to take one three every time I play pickup basketball. That's my New Year's resolution.

Just take at least one.

And then maybe take two if I'm hot.

I had kind of a similar.

I want to join a men's league softball team.

Ooh, I'm in. I haven't played softball in a while.

Yeah.

I'm in.

And the Rubik's Cube.

Yeah, Rubik's Cube.

I'm in for the softball league.

As long as it's like noon on Tuesdays.

I'm in.

No, I have the yak. Two o'clock on Tuesdays, I'm in.
Okay. We'll set up our own.
We'll just get a hoop in the office here. How about this? I just want to drink more water.
Yeah. I've always tried to drink more water.
I want to drink more water, and I'm going to say it out loud. Not too much, though.
Remember Tom Brady almost drowned himself. Right, but I won't get sunburned.
Okay, yeah, that's true. So I'm going to quit smoking.
You don't smoke, though. I do smoke occasionally.
So instead of juuling, now I smoke cigarettes now. You know what? PFT.
I want to quit smoking. I'm also going to quit smoking.
Thank you. With you.
You and I are both going to quit smoking. If you see me in public with a cigarette.
Same. Slap it out of my.
Slap Big Cat in his face.

Except.

No, wait.

Don't do it.

No, that's how you're helping me.

No.

No, I'm going to quit smoking.

No, if you see me smoking.

All right, fine.

If you see me, then same.

You're going to pick up smoking so I get slapped.

Yeah.

Deal.

Take the slap off.

Deal.

So don't slap me.

Take the slap deal off.

Slap Big Cat if you see me smoking.

Slap me if you see Big Cat.

Let's quit smoking.

But not in New Orleans. Doesn't count New Orleans.
Yeah, that's true does not count new orleans or miami yeah new orleans miami or at the combine or atlanta if we go to final four week's a big one combine if i'm in japan for the olympics we're gonna quit smoking in the city of new york on weekdays yep there it is before 8 p. Yeah, okay.
All right. I was going to say our softball team's at 2.
Yeah, it's at 2, so we kind of do like a postgame thing. I was going to say, I'm going to have to.
No, you've got to rip a couple long darks if you're out with a postgame drink up with the lads. Well, our softball game will be at 2.
Our postgame will be at 9. Yep.
All right. Who's your who's back? My who's back of the week is Papa John.
Yeah. So Papa John is officially now a Kentucky fan.
He has burned his bridges at Louisville, so he's not going to be able to go back on that campus and be the king that he once was then. But you can't keep Papa John out of the national sports discussion.
So he's wearing blue shirts. He's sitting like two rows behind Calipari at home games in Kentucky.
He is now a Kentucky super fan. Incredible.
So what a rebrand. What a rebrand for Papa John.
The Papa. All right.
He's down to it. What do you think his New Year's resolution is, like, eat 25 pizzas a month? Yeah.
He's going to, yeah. No, I think he goes more.
No saying the N-word for three days. Yes three days yes oh no no say only say the n-word if it's it's quoting someone else who said it but i also say it so i could quote myself yep that yeah that that's the rule all right and kind of similar my who's back is kevin spacey so not totally similar but kevin spacey made another creepy video on christmas to just creep us all out what the Spacey? It was...
He literally threatened to kill all of us with his kindness. And then another one of his accusers died.
Yeah. Listen.
It's fucked up. I think the creepiest part of that video was how he was working that log.
Like, I don't think Kevin Spacey's ever had to build or maintain a fire before. No.
Uh-uh. I'm pretty sure it was a gas fireplace.
Yeah. And he was just poking a synthetic log.
It was an LED screen. Yeah, he's poking it, just stabbing it.
And he was in character as Frank Underwood. I watched that video and needed to take a shower.
It was so fucking creepy. So, yeah, he's back.
I would rather he just appear in character as the dad from American Pie and just smoke weed in a garage. Yeah, listen to the Who.
Yeah, and work out. Just do that, Kevin Spacey.

Oh, man, that guy's a creep.

All right.

Did I say American Pie?

You made American Beauty.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I'd have a way different story if he was American Pie.

Yeah, that would.

Very, yeah, I don't think it would work that way.

He'd be getting his dick stuck in other stuff.

Yeah.

All right.

We'll see everyone Thursday.

Love you guys.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye you guys.
Bye. I'll be coming for your love.
Thank you. Stay up to me It's so better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take on me Take me Take on me I to be gone.
I've got to remember He's shining away I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me

Take on me

Take on me

I'll be coming heart. Take me on me.

Take me on.

Take me on.

I'll take your heart.

Take me on.

Take me on. Take me out.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,