Best of 2019 (featuring Gary Busey, Zac Efron, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Patrick Mahomes & more)

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On today's part in my take, best of 2019. We say goodbye to the year that was with a bunch of interviews, a new interview, a little week 17 preview for everyone who's sitting at work right now.
But we have our best moments, our favorite interviews, our favorite stories from our favorite guests, all in this episode. It is a jam-packed episode to get you through that holiday lull between Christmas and New Year's.
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Today is Thursday, December 26th. And we are here with our best of 2019.
Going to send you out 2019 with a bang. Although we will be back in studio for Monday to recap all week 17 to recap the college football playoff.
We're going to do that for you. But we figured we'd give you something to listen to while you're sitting at work or you're sitting trying to avoid your family, whatever it may be.
Going for a walk by yourself or with your cousins. Smoking that ganj.
Jazz we have a best of we have a ton of awesome interviews we have a new interview with carrie fraser which we've been holding on to and uh we should have put out earlier because he's the man i would say that carrie fraser is probably our most canadian guest of all time yes it was actually we were going to do a summer interview like the joe buck where we did four different referees and we only got carrie. Well, it turns out a lot of the referees don't really want to talk, so we actually had Kerry Frazier at the end actually called.
What's his name? But the Kerry Frazier part was great. Yeah, Joey Crawford.
Joey Crawford and told him to come on Part of My Take, so that will be happening hopefully at some point. But he was like, I don't know if I can because I work with the league still, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
I want to take back what I just said. I think the Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan is the most Canadian guest.
Without a doubt. But Kerry Frazier, as a professional hockey referee, is a close second.
Yes. All right.
So before we do get to all of our best of stuff, we have the best of interviews, we have the best of everything we've done. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Remember that. Your tape's your resume.
Your tape is your resume. You want to put something good out there.
Now, this is a great Sunday in the NFL because you have like nine games going on at any given time. You've got all the divisional games going on.
The games that really mean the most this weekend, Tennessee-Houston. Yes.
That's going to be a big one. hope that I hope variable is going to regrow the mustache during the week because he lost his superpowers without it last week.
He did. He certainly did.
He needs to grow that bad boy out. I'm looking forward to the dolphins maybe beating new England as his tradition once a year.
Yes. I, most of all, I'm looking forward to hopefully RG three getting a full game under his belt this weekend because it would be dumb as shit to have Lamar Jackson play the entire game.

Rest versus rust is going to be the big conversation.

We also have a great Sunday night game, 49ers Seahawks.

Pete Carroll will be chomping literally at the bit.

He's going to be going crazy.

I feel like I don't have faith in either of those teams,

but that just feels like a Seahawks win. You close your eyes and you just see it's probably drizzling.
There's probably about 5,000 to 10,000 fans with receiver gloves on. It's loud as fuck.
I hope the Seahawks are going to be there in the front row. The Seahawks will be there.
That's a game changer. Something weird is going to happen in this game.
That's all I can tell you. I agree.
In these late-night Seattle-San Francisco games, something weird and kind of fucked up always happens. Some obscure rule.
I'm sure the touchback rule will come into play at some point when somebody's extending towards the goal line. Something weird is going to happen, and I'm very, very excited for it.
We also have the Raiders who need still a lot of help, but they are alive. They are alive.

The Oakland Raiders somehow, someway in week 17 are alive.

I cannot believe that we're saying that, but it's the truth.

And if you're a Raider fan, you got to enjoy the in the hunt graphic all the way till the end.

Till the bitter, bitter end.

Yeah, you white knuckled it.

That's fucking awesome.

Yeah, week 17 is always weird. I wish that I had some I wish that I had some – I need to run like a statistical analysis.
Someone do this for me. I always just convince myself that in week 17, the defenses just don't care, so just bet all the overs.
I don't think that ever happens. No, I would say probably the opposite.
Well, but just go with me here. Let's just have fun.
No, yeah, no, it's the over week. Yeah, it's the over week you want to play a game called uh guess the over under yeah this is a game i made up right now uh oakland denver guess the over under 41 and a half it's kind of in the vegas zone on this one so i think it's going to be 44 it's vague it's not only vegas zone but it's a vague it's Vegas yes we don't even know the line yet white kn knuckling, that's what Mark Davis calls the front of his pants.
Ooh. Get it? Nice.
Actually, Mark Davis in the playoffs would be, that would be something, wouldn't it? Yes. Like, get him in a nice little afternoon Saturday time slot.
Yeah, it would definitely be the Raiders would definitely play in that Saturday afternoon. And be like, come on.
Remember the Connor Cook game? Yes. That was great.
They have to have the Texans in that time slot, right? Yes. By law.
By law. I think that's mandated.
And that's really the last spot in the AFC is going to be the most interesting one because a lot of stuff can happen one way or the other. We could end up with Kansas City playing against Tennessee in the first round of the playoffs.
and I think that Tennessee could beat Kansas City again.

Oh.

I think that could happen.

The Bills still don't know who they're going to play yet.

If you were to draw it up so that the Bills would advance as far as possible,

because I'm speaking for myself, I want to see the Bills go deep in the playoffs.

Yeah, and have them play the Texans.

Have them play the Texans first round.

I think they can beat the Texans.

And then they'd have to go to New England. Were they proven that they can compete? Or probably to Baltimore if the Chiefs won.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
So you would have – yeah, I don't know. Just have them go to Houston so they can win one game.
I just want one more week of football just for the Buffalo economy. Yes.
The amount of alcohol that's going to be purchased. Duffs.
Consumed. Yeah, the table market table market you're going to get another like the hardware stores are going to get a full more seven days need a table sales need it need it so uh the other the other one i wanted to point out really quickly is the browns and bangles now this isn't on anyone's radar but i'm excited to see just how many players on the browns quit in this game and this is the first time in a while that i don't think any of the players on the browns are going to ask to be uh say come get me after the game to the bangles disagree because the bangles are going to get joe burrow yeah and odell beckham and jarvis landry have probably already asked to be traded to the lsu tigers at some point this season after seeing the numbers that they're putting up on offense that would be fun to have them go both go to Cincinnati in a double trade where I don't know who Cincinnati would give up maybe they'd sign and trade AJ Green yeah there it is we just became we just did like Madden mode where we just disabled realistic trades yeah so it would be who is a desirable asset on the Bengals besides AJ Green Joe mixon maybe sure odd and take if he doesn't have the shits yeah he did you see him in the warm-ups last weekend yeah against the dolphins when he was waddling around like he had toilet paper between his ass well you probably did that yeah i mean that that happens when you get the humidity people forget it's humid down in miami all times a year uh all right so week 17 we're excited we Like I said, we're going to be in studio, so you will get a full recap on Sunday night, Monday morning.
Let me ask you about the NFC East real quick. Yeah, yeah.
Who do you want to see in the playoffs in the NFC East? Would you rather the Eagles or the Cowboys? No, I want the Eagles. The Cowboys are a joke.
I'm so sick of the Cowboys at this point. Okay, officially labeled as Big Cat's joke are a joke they are an absolute joke and i don't know what worse than a fraud they're worse than a joke yeah i can't even i can't because a fraud would imply that they are good but you know fraudulent a joke i don't even want to i don't even want to fucking spend time with you're not even good enough to be fake no you're not're not good.
Yeah, right. There's no fraudulent thing with the Cowboys.
They are just a fucking joke. Alright, so go to BetMGM.
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If you're a new user sign up with code PMT Get your first deposit matched up to $250 this weekend. Alright, last thing before we start getting into the interviews, PFT, we also have the college football playoff.
So, I have a future on Ohio State, but I think Clemson's going to beat them. I think you're right.
I've done some soul-searching, but I think Dabo's going to play the disrespect card heavy. Heavy this week.
I think you're right. I've done some soul-searching about it.
I think Dabo's going to play the disrespect card heavy, heavy this week. Clemson's a weird team because they've blown out every single opponent that they've had.
So we don't really know for a fact if they're good or not. We're sure they're good? Yeah, we're not sure.
We don't know if they've played their best game of 2019 yet. True.
They almost lost to UNC. They did, but then after that moment, they have beaten every single team that they've played by 30 plus and they don't have any pretty impressive no players have gotten suspended for mysterious PEDs that weren't their fault yet true as of as of right now which is Sunday night taping of this a lot could change uh all right and then we have LSU who we hope we we think will boat race Oklahoma although that when when that line gets so big, it starts to scare me.

I have a future on LSU.

Everyone talks about how this is going to be the easiest thing ever.

Was it 13 and a half right now?

Yeah, 14, 13 and a half.

Fuck it.

Make it 21.

I still like LSU.

Okay.

I think they're going to win, but I get nervous when it gets to that.

Talk about disrespect.

I mean, it's kind of an afterthought. like LSU versus Clemson or Ohio State.
And Oklahoma, I don't know. Will Lincoln Riley have accepted the Dallas Cowboys job before the game? Oklahoma's never really played well in any of these games, though.
They played well in the first half against Georgia in the Rose Bowl. First half.
Yeah, they were really good. Baker was awesome.
So they played really well in that game for the first half. Yeah, I guess if you're talking first half, then yeah.
Yeah, I mean with a 14 point spread, if they play well for a half, you could be in trouble to cover that spread. If there's one thing I know is that the NCAA is crooked as shit and if they want a high rated national championship game, they're going to want LSU in it.
Correct. So go conspiracy.
Yeah, I'm conspiracing the NCAA. I'll always believe, though, that the NCAA will rig anything.
Run by David Stern. Exactly.
All right, let's do some interviews. Let's do some best of.
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We love Mountain Dew, so appreciate them being a sponsor. Okay, interviews.
So we have, how many, Hank, are we doing? 13? 13 interviews. It's not the full interviews.
It's the best of those interviews. So we're going to go in and out.
There's some really great stuff. And we're going to start with one of the craziest interviews of the year.
That's Gary Busey, who came to our studio. And we got a contact eye from him.
It wasn't so much an interview. It was just like three guys discussing philosophy for a while.
Yes. All right.
Here he is. Gary Busey.
Okay.

We now welcome on a very special guest.

It is Gary Busey.

He is a Hollywood star for decades upon decades.

He's in studio.

He's written books.

He has his Busey-isms.

I'm very excited for this interview because you are, like I was saying beforehand, in two of my favorite movies, Point Break and Rookie of the Year.

And we will get into all of that.

But it's just great to have you.

It's great.

I mean, you are exactly as advertised even walking in here.

Well, I would like to thank you for giving me the honor and the privilege of coming on your show to speak about what we are going to speak about.

Right.

Which is what?

What are?

Which is what?

Yeah.

What are we planning on speaking about?

I'll see you next time. privilege of coming on your show to speak about what we are going to speak about right so which is what what are which is what yeah what are we planning on speaking about you whatever did you just get here i did yeah just i just arrived this very second use your imagination but don't let it get out of control i can't make any promises all right let's talk about bussy ism so your book praise for bussy isms yeahy-isms.
Explain how Busey-isms started. Well, I was writing a journal.
I've been betrayed to my heart. And I was writing about what happened to me.
And I was... I realized, hey, this is the past.
Where am I now? Now, okay, now, in OW. That stands for no other way.

The first music I wrote, I was recovering from a traumatic brain injury.

And the hospital, the doctors put me in a smock, gave me a clipboard to take me on rounds so I'd feel like they told me I was going to be playing the doctor in the next movie.

So I did, okay.

And I would scribble things that you couldn't read.

And I went to a drawer. The patient opened it up, underwear and socks, all messed up.
So I rearranged it. And I said, that is neat.
My first music is it was neat. Nice, exciting, and tight.
And then came the others. And they kept coming, they kept coming.
Faith, F-I-I-T-H. Fantastic adventures in trusting him.
Hope, H-O-P-E. Heavenly offerings prevail eternally.
Relationship, R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P. Really exciting love affair turns into overwhelming nightmare.
Sobriety hangs in peril. Romance, R-O-M-A-N-C-E, stands for relying on magnificent and necessary compatible energy.
That's a really good one. I really like that one.
Simple. Can we? Yeah, go ahead.
Can you what? No, no, simple. Go.
Simple. S-I-M-P-L-E stands for see it manifesting precious loving energy.
So just be simple. You get sweet.
The eyes connect. There's a laser on the eyes.
The hands touch. The hands start sweating.
And the rest is up to you. Fun.
Fun. F-U-N.
Finally understanding nothing. That's great.
Yeah.

Yeah.

That's really fun.

That's why.

Because once you realize you don't understand anything, you're just having a great time.

You're just like, fuck it.

There it is.

You laugh.

This is great.

Yeah.

You laugh.

What about, how about.

What is this one?

Sober.

Sober.

Sober.

Sober.

S-O-B-E-R.

Son of a bitch.

Everything's real. That's perfect.
Do you have one for Gary? Oh, gosh. I don't do proper names.
What about football? But I do Busey. B-U-S-E-Y.
Being under spiritual energy yearly. I like that.
Can you do football? Football.

I play football.

Football.

If you were to make that a buceeism.

Finding other offers.

Trusting.

Believing.

And.

Living.

Love.

Oh.

You can just rattle them up.

It's like going to the jukebox and throwing in a dollar and just being like, let's get a piece of it. Don't forget to bring your jukebox money.
Do you believe in hell? Hell? Yeah. Hell? Yeah.
Hell is what you make it within yourself. Okay.
So hell is a self-imposed condition. Well, it's something that's created by men who wrote the Bible.
It's created by... Hell is really something you create yourself.
The difference between organized religion and spirituality is organized religion is built for people to be afraid of hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there.
I'm in the second the second group i caused my own hell everyone can cause their own hell just know how to get out of it come to the light and say thank you god that's very insightful thank you um all right only human yeah gary busey thank you for coming by we'd love to have you back on maybe we'll go see the the play and then have you back on at the end of the run in three years. Dismiss the word maybe.
No, we are going to see it. So you'll be back on.
How long are you going to be in this play? Three years? Maybe four. What is it? Through December 15th.
Through December 15th. So October 8th through December 15th.
We're going to see it during that time. And then we're going to have you back on before you leave New York.

And we'll talk about the play some more and even more.

I mean, people are going to love this interview.

You know, this play is being worked on, has been being worked on for eight and a half years.

Jeez.

And this is coming to a beautiful mountain of spiritual miracles and blessings.

I love it.

We're going to take a field trip.

The whole crew. We seriously are.
It's been too long since we've had a mountain of spiritual blessings. We're going to take a field trip.
You need to hold them up to this, partner. Yep.
Hank, why don't you ever take me out for mountains of spiritual blessings? And then we're going to have you back on, and we're going to talk about how great you were. No, don't talk about how great I am, because we already know that.
Let's talk about how great the play was. That too.
That too.

All right.

Gary.

You guys are so funny.

Oh, wait, wait.

Yes.

Here.

And the book.

Yes.

This book is for you, Dan.

Thank you.

Read what I wrote.

Oh, wow.

Look at this.

Thank you for your blessing in every way.

This book is for you, Eric.

Thank you. There we go.

Thank you. I'll give that to my brother.
You wrote the same thing. Read what he wrote.
Yep. Read yours.
Thank you for the blessing in every way. God blessed you.
Oh, you got God blessed you? God blessed you when you were born. Hey.
Oh. Damn.
I don't know who's got the better one. That's very sweet.
I mean, I don't know how much more of a show we could put on this play other than go watch Gary Busey play. I know.

That's great. No, we're going.

You need to cancel the next guest. I'm not leaving.

Okay, perfect. You want to watch football all day?

We're going to watch football all day. Football?

Yeah, we're going to watch it all day. I don't blame you.

Gary Busey, thank you so much.

Thank you, and come see the play on the

Hubok!

Okay, next up, we have Jim Harbaugh went to Ann Arbor, golfed in jeans, some of us, Hank. By the way, Hank.
What's wrong with golfing in jeans? You didn't mention. Against the decorum of the game.
I can't believe you didn't mention when we talked about you golfing in jeans the other day that Belichick golfs in jeans. Really? In the documentary with Saban.
In the documentary with Saban. Well, he only plays like once a year.
He goes out for his one. That's when he relaxes.
He was golfing in jeans. Yeah, so that's where Hank gets it from.
Yeah, so he's got an ass. Hank doesn't have an ass.
The problem with Hank golfing in jeans is the jeans fall off your ass. I wore a belt.
Squat-tober. We're 10 more months.
Well, my New Year's resolution is going to be... Get an ass? Yeah, now that we have the facilities inside.
Do you have the facilities? The year of the ass for how it was built. Okay, so here is Jim Harbaugh and also his famous love for Microsoft Excel.
I do everything in Excel. So I actually knew that someone had told me that.
Explain that. You type actual letters and poems and everything in Excel.
Everything in Excel. Why is that? I draw pictures in Excel.
Why is that? Excel is the first thing I learned, and I've stayed with it. Yeah.
I'm a disciple of Excel. My theory was – You're not even using it for the things you use it for.
We'll go to my office today, and I will show you, and I will print out a day in football inspired by Owen Riesek and a nod to Ernest Hemingway and Old Man in the Sea. But you're using Excel, but not for Excel.
Like, it's supposed to be for formulas and spreadsheets, and you're just using it as like a notepad Word document. Yeah.
Do three to four lines or six. Right.
It's a very versatile piece of software. Rap text is what they say.
My theory was that you read off play sheets all the time. Those are all put into Excel, the way that they're format.
I was just thinking like you've been reading off those your whole life. It's probably easier for you to see that.
The wristband. Yeah, the wristband.
Everything's in Excel. Yeah, that's true.
If we're living in a computer simulation right now, it's probably Microsoft Excel. Yeah, yeah.
What do you use? I use Word for Google Docs. The thing that you're supposed to type words into.
The next interview we have coming up is one of my favorites of the year. It was Brooks Kepka, as he became Blake Kepka before our very years.
Yeah, if you ever wondered how Brooks became Blake, it was from this interview. It was from this interview.
We were in a basement in Long Island getting ready for the U.S. Open.
On Long Island. In Long Island getting ready for the U.S.
Open. Oh, no.
And Blake was just, he was a wonderful interview. He probably cares less about golf than we do.
Yes. So here is Brooks Koepka.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. We're in his home, his rented home, in Long Island.
It's Brooks Koepka. He is the U.S.
Open 2017-2018 champion and also the PGA return champion, right? So you're trying to defend your crown here this weekend at Bethpage Black. And I want to start with the most important question.
You have three majors. You're very good looking.
You got muscles. You got the whole fucking tan and everything.
What's your problem? I got no problem. Okay.
Well, we got a problem. We got one problem.

Brandel.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes.

Him.

Brandel Chambly.

I figured that might come around.

Yes.

But seriously, like you need the, we're going to start a whole rebrand of Brooks Koepka

on this show.

You are too perfect.

So we need to figure out like, give us your biggest weakness to start this off.

Biggest weakness.

Reality TV. That's not a weakness.
You watch a strength. I know.
That's a big strength. Real Housewives? You're a Real Housewives guy.
Yeah, I've definitely watched it. You got skinny recently.
I did. That pissed off America.
That was really interesting going into the Masters because people were mad at you that you lost weight. I know.
I don't get that. They were not fat.
I know what everyone else is trying to do. Everybody was just like, I wish Brooks would put on 30 pounds and get back to like his...
How much weight did you lose? I was like 30 pounds, yeah. What was the plan behind that? I just wanted to look good.
That was it? Yeah. You just want to look good for Graham? Yeah.
Well, yeah. Yeah.
If you got a photo shoot, you might as well look good. Wait, but so you actually lost power though in your drive, right? Yeah.
And we're not golf guys, but we'll ask a couple golf. We'll sprinkle a couple golf couple golf is that bad to lose power on your drive i mean it's not good so when you noticed it like were you like what what's going on here i need to start eating again yeah well yeah once we got everything done squared away all the photo shoots done we uh i definitely ate like a champ i know that okay so you actually cheeseburgers yeah pizza and did you actually have photo shoots oh yeah so you lost weight yeah for pictures good yeah yeah did you stop who doesn't want to look good did you stop working out after yes huh okay definitely working out before how much do you bench these days i don't know i haven't benched a long time it's been like six weeks really that's a really long time that's.
It's great, though. I heard that you used to be able to put up 315.
Yeah, I could. How many times? Just once.
And I also heard that you used to work out sometimes after rounds. Is that true? Yeah, before or after.
Isn't that weird, though? If you're lifting weights before you go out on the course, doesn't that affect? I feel like if I do three tricep extensions, I can't shoot a basketball for like a week afterwards i look better in the shirts though no your mediums in my mediums that's on my list as well uh so wait i want to go back because like golf is one of those sports that everyone always thinks like oh you know like the fat guys can play it's you know phil mickelson back in day. Now it's completely different.
You guys train like you're in the NFL or like NBA. We're not that big.
But what's your training regimen like? You guys have had plenty of NFL guys. There's no reason to run away from it.
But what's your training regimen like in the offseason? Like are you training every single day? Yeah, in the offseason, yeah. I mean, you might as well.
What else are you going to do? I'm not playing golf. I've got better things to do.
Oh, how long do you go without playing golf in the offseason? I'll go six weeks. That's crazy.
Yeah. When you get back out on the course after six weeks, do you notice a major, major difference in how you're playing? Yeah.
Really? Do you give yourself that break more mentally just so you can get away from it? Yeah, it's just more mentally. I'd rather be on the boat drinking, hanging out, doing what everybody else is doing.
You know that that everybody else, they do the exact opposite where they go out to play golf to get away from stuff. Yeah.
And that's their mental break. Yeah, exactly.
You're not helping the whole you're too perfect narrative that you got going. Yeah, so you're getting ready for opening round on Thursday, Wednesday night.
Do you have a pattern that you do? I just try to be in bed by like 10.30, but other than that I got nothing. It's just whatever.
I feel like falling asleep. What would you say that we could make fun of you most easily for, besides the reality TV thing? The thong photo? Yes.
That was a good one. Yeah.
Thong photo. I was trying so hard to be an Instagram model.
It just backfired so bad. What about your logo socks sorry i'm getting a new one yeah okay there you go good yeah see there we go we found something i saw it i was like what's this it's just a b yeah and like what you gotta yeah i got a new one coming so what you'll like it look like i'll show you later yeah show me show me one right now you have i don't have it on me now i don't have my phone nobody all right so you thing that I could say was bad.
Yeah, we're getting a little better on that. You have a very South African sounding name.
I know. I want to hear you say it one time.
It's so satisfying to say Brooks Kipka. Yeah.
It's way cooler. I've heard it a thousand times.
I just want to hear it in person. You should be South African.
There will be people who listen to this interview and be like, wait, what? He's not? Yeah. That's true.

No, South African.

A lot of people, they were telling me that during the Masters, when they were doing a behind-the-scenes thing with you,

or they were discussing you, they were shocked, and they lost bets with their friends because they were hanging out.

They were like, no, he's from South Africa.

No, he's not. That was because of you.

He's literally –

I heard that.

It's actually funny.

Yeah.

Bruce Kipka.

Say it one time. Bruce Kipka.
Yeah. Bruce Kipka.
Say it one time.

Bruce Kipka.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It rolls up.

All right.

Let's do fixing golf.

So why do you think golf, like, what do you think golf needs to improve on to get better?

Like, in terms of.

You're out there for five and a half hours.

I mean, how bad is that?

Nobody wants to spend five and a half hours out there.

Yeah.

I mean, unless you're, like, getting away from your wife or, like, trying to get away. Right.
You know, that'd be great. But other than that.
So how do you speed up the game? Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes. I like that a lot.
Yeah. Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker.
Yes. And I always get to like 11 and I'm like, this is.
It gets boring from like hole five to 12. You're just like, where am I you are bored during a tournament yeah 5 through 12 yeah i literally can't tell you what like what happened during those holes you kind of like black out you're like oh yes everything's repetitive it's it's true though because when you golf there is like the first three holes where you're like okay i feel good today and then like right around 14 you're like all right i got a few left yeah exactly and then anything in between it's just whatever can i get a hot dog after nine yeah exactly you're just looking everybody getting drunk what about using a cart i'd love to use a cart how great would that be that'd be sick having people driving cars daly's using a cart this week you see that how awesome is that yeah that is pretty he's just he's just commandeered the beer cart yeah yeah just kick the girl out so what So what can they do to make it better for the audience? What was your exact quote? That golf is not fun enough? Yeah.
Golf fun? Golf sucks is what he said, according to me. Real question about your swing.
I read that book on Tiger, and it seemed like every few years you just completely remake his swing, like go from scratch. Have you done that? No.
I just do. I literally have two swing thoughts, and that's it.
I just hit it and go. That's the thoughts? Yeah.
Hit it and go. Yeah.
Literally just keep it short and swing it hard. I think that's it.
I think what we found is we found the Blake Bortles of golf. Yeah.
What's your IQ? I don't know. I haven't tested.
No, you are a guy, a normal guy who plays golf really, really well. Yeah.
Blake is a normal guy who's an exceptional quarterback. Yeah, exactly.
You're right. I like that.
I like that comparison. So when you're hitting a shot, obviously you have different shots in your bag.
You hit a draw. You hit a fade, right? I'm guessing.
Yeah. You hit it both, yeah.
I mean, I just try to stick to one because I know what I'm doing on one of them. But, yeah.
But when you get up there and you're like, okay, which one's better for you? I fade it, yeah. I hit it left to right.
Okay. So, you get up there and you're trying to fade it.
You just think hit and go? Or do you have to, like, tell yourself – do you have to walk yourself through the process and think, okay, I have to aim there? There's no thought process. It's just, like, aim left and just swing hard and it'll come back to wherever you want it.
Your caddy's just like aim at that thing, and then you do that thing.

Yeah, it'll just be like finish it there.

Okay, I'll try.

It's crazy.

One of two things is going to happen.

It's either going to end up there or it's not.

Right.

It's either going to be really good or bad.

Right.

I mean, yeah, I'm just starting because I feel like maybe we haven't

interviewed enough golfers, but they have all these technical,

like, oh, this is what I'm trying to do on this shot,

but I'm just up there just mashing.

What's the point of thinking of something else?

I think I figured you out.

I think you don't like golf very much, and so you're always just like,

I want to get the fuck off this course in the least amount of time possible.

So I'm just going to take a very few amount of strokes and get home.

Yeah, exactly.

That's a good way to put it.

And sometimes win the tournament. Yeah, occasionally.
Yeah, then you have to stick around and collect a check. It's a whole big thing.
Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a pain in the ass.
You just want to get to the bar. Okay, before we get to our next interview, which is going to be with Stone Cold Steve Austin, the man, the myth, the legend, a quick word from NHTSA.
Are you one of those people who thinks it's okay to drive stoned? What's the worst that can happen? You end up driving below the speed limit. It's no big deal, right? Wrong.
Big time wrong. The truth is your reaction time slows way down when you're high.
You not only put yourself in danger, but everyone around you. Talk about a buzzkill.
Stop kidding yourself. It's not okay to drive high.
You've been using marijuana in any form. Do not get behind the wheel.
If you feel different, you drive different. Drive high.
Get a DUI. Listen, guys, you can just use so many car services now.
There's no excuse. This holiday season, NHTSA wants you to plan ahead.
If you will be celebrating, if you plan to indulge in an impairing substance, plan for a sober driver to take you home. Is it your your turn to be that designated driver take that role seriously and do not partake in alcohol or any other drugs drive high get a DUI it's not worth it guys with NHTSA support state and local law enforcement agencies across the nation are stepping up enforcement to put an end to drug impaired driving showing zero tolerance to save lives okay uh pft our next one up we have stone cold steve austin uh this was a personal favorite of mine what's the never meet your heroes well actually do meet your heroes because they turn out to be cooler than you thought yeah trust yourself in the fact that you chose excellent heroes growing up yes you're not going to disappoint yourself by idolizing these people.
Fuck.

And I want to back on at least once every six months just to have them call in and be like,

hey, guys, it's Stone Cold.

My only regret with having Stone Cold on our show

is that we gave him some of our secret sauce

about how to do interviews.

Yeah.

I saw that his interview with The Undertaker

was ranked as the best podcast interview of the year.

So we should have been worse with him.

That's a mistake.

Yeah.

All right. Here he is.
Stone Cold Steve Austin. Okay.
We now welcome on, I mean, you're a role model. You're an idol of mine.
Way back in the day. It's Stone Cold Steve Austin.
I'm a little speechless because you are actually someone that, like, if I had to list the three people that are, like, on the, you know, pinnacle of my idols, it's you, Michael Jordan, and Dog the Bounty Hunter. How do you think about that, being in that kind of company? Not your speech.
That's an interesting selection there. Yeah, you like it? I do.
You like it? Hey, before the cameras were rolling, you offered to give me the shirt off your back. I did.
Can you turn up my volume? Yeah, yeah. Hank missed that, but when you walked in, you were like, hey, I like your shirt, and I just ripped it off my back, and I said, here, you take it.
Oh, yeah? You can do it. You want it? No, no, no.
Give me that eye again. Please, give please keep it on i like it when you have your shirt all right so it is stone cold steve austin uh welcome to the show we're very excited to have you on you have a new show coming out straight up steve austin august did we make a mistake not bringing beers into this studio for you almost all the shows that i've done today have offered me a beer but you know i'm not offended that you didn't we're trying to do the like we're trying not to be hey stone cold here's another beer another just yeah play into the the character yeah and we couldn't find your beer and i didn't want to offer you something that wasn't yours and that's what just happened someone brought out a you know what and i was like man this ain't broken skull right skull so anyway and i do have a long day ahead of me for me to show up on another show all trash because i've been hanging out with you guys drinking beer all day would be unprofessional on my part.
So yeah, I took a couple of sips. I don't want to look hoity-toity.
Right, right. I'll get a couple of swigs.
So you're good. We're good.
Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, 100%.
All right. Dude, you offered me the shirt off your back.
You took the shirt off and handed it to me. It was a great moment.
It was a great moment. I didn't even think.
It was true. You're the kind of guy I can always say, hey, man, the guy.
You call me. He'd give you the shirt right off his back.
Absolutely. All right, I want to talk a lot about the Attitude Era.
I told you I was a huge fan. Let's start with just your entrance.
Do you still get chills when the glass shatters? Yeah, man. It's adrenaline rush.
It's a spike that you can't explain. Yep.
And you live and die by it. Recently, we just went down to Tampa for the Monday night.
It was like the Raw reunion. And I was like, for the www.com, they were asking me, hey, we're used to the Stone Cold Pop because it's kind of a phenomenon, right? And I'm not patting myself on the back.
No, that's a fact. You asked me the question.
I watched all three hours of that show for the pop. Yeah, and I said, hey, man, I know it's going to be good, but anything less than fantastic or spectacular is going to be a letdown for me because I've heard them all.
And you live and die by that. And, boy, when I came out of the gate, man, the place, it blew the roof off the place.
Yep. So it was an amazing feeling, and I'm not a drug head, so I can say, but if you could bottle that feeling that I feel when that glass hits and you could sell that, you'd make a lot of damn money.
What's the number one cop in your career that you think back, the one that you close your eyes and you're like, that was it? Well, there's so many, but there's that one time when The Rock was wrestling Mick Foley and DX, and they were creating all kinds of havoc. Vince McMahon was by the ring, and all of a sudden, Mick's in a bunch of trouble, and then here comes Stone Cold, and they hit that damn music, and it was a built moment.
They build those moments, but I got to be the guy, and the music has a big part of it. But when I came out there to help him win that championship, and then the eruption when he pinned the rock for the three count, that was one of the top ones.
Yeah. You've got to understand that was a great match.
Also, yes it was, but you also got to understand, finally when I turned from the ringmaster into Stone Cold the music that I had to begin with was laid back, boring, lulling. Oh, it was terrible.
And so then I started getting a little bit of hands on when I came up with the Stone Cold thing and I said, hey, do you have any ideas for some ring music? I said, you're damn right I do. So I took Rage Against the Machine, Bulls on Parade, to Jim Johnston.
I said, it ain't this song, but it's in the vein of this song. And so why he thought about the glass breaking, I mean, Stone Cold.
Yeah. I mean, and then he put the sirens in, but it's a da-da-da-da-da.
The whole thing was a masterpiece, and I give all the credit to Jim Johnson, but it was inspired, at least in my head, by Rage Against the Machine, Bulls on Parade. Yeah.
That's pretty awesome. So you had, you know, too many outrageous stunts to count, really, whether it's, you know, running over the Rock's new Lincoln with the monster truck or driving the Zamboni into the ring.
By the way, had you ever driven a Zamboni before? No, and I'd never driven a monster truck prior to that. I'd driven a couple.
Was that before or after my neck surgery? Because I started doing monster truck appearances. But I am the master, the absolute master of driving anything on wheels in 15 minutes.
I'm not going to be an expert at it, but I can efficiently get the job done. And it's sink or swim.
If you're going to put me on live TV and put me in a monster truck or take, go to Nassau Coliseum when I drove the cement truck and to fill up Vince's Corvette, all those things folded down. And then I revved the motor to spin up that cement to dump in that Corvette.
They didn't, we didn't have modern technology back in and say like, here's a mark to hit. I just had to guess at the mark.
So it was just fun to be able to do all that kind of stuff. When I drove that monster truck into the arena, they put me into a holding area.
I remember this. And it was like a two, two-and-a-half-minute commercial break.
And that thing's running off methyl, alcohol, ethanol, alcohol, whatever. It's an 1,800-horsepower motor.
And I'm in there, and I'm dying. My eyes are tearing up.
I can't breathe because of the exhaust fumes of that truck. Well, you were also dead.
I'm just waiting to come back on air so I can just get out there and get a breath of fresh air. Anyway, I get out in the arena, and I gas it.
And the carpet's so long, and I just revved it up, and I think four-wheel drive was so awesome, it just jerked one of the camera guys off his feet because it shot the carpet right out from underneath him because all that horsepower. So all the shenanigans that they created for me really helped the character.
Do you think it's missing in today's wrestling? Because just thinking about, you know, listing them all, the Zamboni, you know, putting the cement in Vince McMahon's Corvette, all these off-the-ring things that happen is what made raw can't miss on a monday night because you just didn't know you're with booker t in in a in a supermarket there's all these things that would happen that you just had no idea what was going to happen next and it feels like after your era it kind of went away from that it was a lot more ring stuff man well it's interesting how the thing has changed. And now it's three hours versus two hours, and SmackDown's two hours.
But when you used to watch, you know, back in the Attitude Era, we had the Monday Night Wars, Nitro had this hot open. And then we had our, you know, pyro coming down.
Bah, bah, bah. I mean, it was sense of urgency.
You felt like anything could happen at any one time.

And to me, it's just maybe, I'm not picking on today's product, but I just think the spontaneity is lost. Like that feeling that anything could happen is lost.
And if you bring it back and create that excitement, I don't think you need to go to filling up this with that or crushing things. You know, Braun Strowman has done some really cool things with displays of strength, turning shit over and stuff like that.
That's all cool. Sense of urgency, I think, is the most important part.
What about the famous beer bath? That was also another personal favorite. Man, in about the first 30 gallons, that was real beer.
And, man, I rolled down there and we bought that hose out and I started spraying them and then like as i was spraying i figured man it'd be a great visual for me to get myself a drink of beer but it was it was coming out like i don't like 100 miles an hour so i basically ribbed myself because when i pointed at myself it almost blew my eyes out and drowned me at the same time like shit that wasn't smart so but i know sold it yeah yeah yeah absolutely did you did you uh i feel like you never missed we're gonna wrap up in a second i feel like you never missed cans when they were thrown to you man i got some hands on you have some hands yeah every now and i get the rare drop but my percentage that was i remember that i got my i was basically tied over here yeah i just caught a bunch for uh raw at reunion the other day. Yeah, he did.
But, man, Mark Eaton, and I'd give him the signal. And some of them were so far away, you're like, Mark would go.
You're catch-radiating. And I'd say, bring them.
I'd say something different. But he would throw them, but he goes.
And I'd say, yep. And so some of those things got launched, I dare say, close to 40 yards.

But I've always been able to catch things.

And, hell, I played running back in high school.

And then in college I played linebacker defensive end.

But, hell, if they let me tie it in or something like that,

I probably could have had a career.

I believe it.

The hand size.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I can catch stuff.

I'm really good at catching alcoholic beverages.

It's a God-given talent. Everything else just kind of slips.
I think it's good. It's because you really want a beer.
This next clip is actually another favorite of Big Cats. Yeah.
Because it's another one of your personal heroes. Yes.
Denny Hamlin. Denny Hamlin.
So here's Denny Hamlin calling up some guy that owns a sneaker company or something. So you're a big Team Jordan guy.
Yep. Did you talk to MJ afterwards? He texted me at 9.20.
Shut up. The NBA game was going on.
It's his birthday. The race is over.
I look at my phone. He's like, man, I'm so happy.
Yeah. He called? That's awesome.
I don't know. Let's call him.
He's actually a friend of ours. We've talked to him a few times.
I don't know. You think he'll answer? No.
I don't think so. I don't think he would either.
I'm too nervous. You know why? Because I don't think he's, I don't think I've ever called him.
Yeah. Yeah.
Don't waste your phone call on him. He'll get freaked out.
I think we're tight enough he won't mind. Text him and be like, hey, go on part of my team.
You're actually calling Michael Jordan. Yeah.
What the fuck? I'm just blaming it on y'all. Yeah, it's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.
I wasn't prepared for this moment. Or maybe if the answer's hanging out real quick.
It's like the biggest moment of my life. MJ O'Brien.
Stop it. Who are you going to trust with the final shot? Oh, my God.
My brother. What's up? That's Michael Jordan.
Congratulations. Thank you, man.
All right, so here's the deal. I'm on part of my take on Barstool,

and we're talking about you

and how good of a friend you've been to me my entire career.

So I just want to say thank you.

I love you.

I love you, Michael Jordan.

And the guys here love you.

That's all I want to say.

Hey, man, I'm proud of you, man.

We had bounced back after a tough year last year.

It started off right, so I expect at least five wins.

That's the number for me. I put out there five and a half was the over-under.
You got it, my brother. Thank you, man.
I love you. I really do love you.
That was... Is that actually him? Michael Jordan.
Come on, man. Of course.
I can't believe the answer because we rarely, rarely... He's definitely like, why is that guy screaming I love you in the background? He was pretty pumped to hear from you, though.
I almost punched PFT when he was like, are you the guy? I was about to take him out. Yeah.
That was awesome. No, but I mean, you know what's crazy to me? You could keep talking, and I'm just going to be like, okay, whatever.
It's 2014. It's the final NASCAR race, and I'm in the final four.
I have a shot to win the championship. He texts me and says, you know, hey, you mind if I bring the family down and, like, you know, spend the day with you that whole day? And I'm like, sure, I think we can arrange that.
So he's hanging out at my motorhome before the race. You know, I'm getting ready.
I'm suiting up and everything, and he's got his crew there. And so he watches the entire race, you know, on on my pit box he's standing there behind the pit box just pacing back and forth and he says you know he was nervous he was nervous for me and i was just like this is weird that right this guy is amazing and everyone is in awe of him but he's going to watch some nascar driver try to go for a championship and when i didn't win which sucked he was no with you.
No, he was there. Everyone had left.
The stands were completely empty. And he was there.
He had his arm around me. We walked up pit row.
He's like, you know, you got to just keep digging, man. You're going to go through things like this.
How much do you think he knows about the sport of NASCAR? A lot. Really? A lot.
He asks me all the time questions about certain races. And so that's how I initially met him.
I was at a Hornets game, and he actually stopped me and said, Hey, I'm Michael. Nice to meet you.
And I was like, you know. Don't worry.
No shit, Michael. I'm Michael.
And I'm like, you know, this is amazing. And so he's like, hey, take my number real quick, and we'll kind of keep in touch.
So we're texting through the second half of this game. I know this sounds completely made up.
This is insane. This sounds completely made up, but it's not.
You know what? This is good, though, because sometimes we get accused of like, oh yeah we're texting through the second half of this game i know this sounds completely made up this sounds completely made up but it's not you know what this is good though because sometimes we get accused of like oh yeah we're just texting with jj watcher this is a new level of like so he said yeah he's i said really you want he say so he asked me he's like what happened in this race two weeks ago you know you you did this or that i was like well you watch nascar he's like buddy he said my dad used to take me nascar races when i was a kid and i just latched on to racing ever since then he says i watch every week okay next up over the summer when we did grit week we actually taped a very special episode with ryan rusillo and mark titus our two good friends which by the way i'm gonna announce this right now we haven't even discussed discussed it, but we're going to do it again this year. It was a very fun interview because it was four guys talking about life.
Yes. Opening up the kimono, allowing everybody to...
Are you trying to tell us something? No, I'm not having another kid yet. That you know of.
That I know of. But we will do this again.
So yeah, we did this as an evergreen episode when my son was born. But I think people liked it so much that we will find a time to get the four of us together again and talk about whatever.
We'll maybe pick a different kind of life topic, and we will dive into it, and we'll make sure we do that for you this summer. I think what we have to do is somebody needs to get someone pregnant this year.
So it has to be one of us. Hank, your seed is very strong.
PFT, I mean, your eggs are running dry. My eggs are great.
I've got pancake batter coming out of these nuts. Okay.
I've not yet begun to nut. Either way, we're going to do it no matter what.
Even if we don't have another child on the way, we will make sure we run that back this summer. But here it is from this past summer life with our friends mark titus and ryan rusillo how dare you insult my skeet i'm just saying getting starting to get on the wrong side of 30 they're not like eggs guys can have kids i'm pretty sure like billionaires have kids until they're 90 welcome Welcome to part of my take presented by Cash App.

No idea what date this is.

Well, it is June.

I'll tell you what date it is.

It is your son's birthday.

Yeah.

So hopefully, knock on wood, my son has been born.

A healthy masculine child.

Congratulations, man.

We're all happy to date.

This is the future.

Thanks.

It's just like you.

Yeah.

I haven't figured out a name. I'm going to give a little sniff and look at him.
LeBron Cats. I always wanted to name a kid Reggie.
Well, I've actually been. Yeah.
Reggie's a good name. I like that.
What's wrong with that? No. What if you name your kid Hank Hates Cats? Ooh.
That's pretty good. All right.
So we should set this up. You've been hanging out of that one, huh? No, top of the head.
How long has that one been in my draft? So this is the emergency podcast that we're taping in May. It's Rosillo, Titus, PFT, myself.
We're in L.A. It's the end of grit week.
Could Tate not make it? Tate is in the backyard smoking trees. Is that bad? Can we say that? It's L.A.
It. So we are doing like an evergreen episode that we can run the day that my child is born so that you still have part of my take.
And we thought what better way to do that than have a life advice to your former self. And what better way to do that than have Ryan Rosillo on, who is going through a midlife crisis.

Yeah.

Both.

Both accurate.

You guys like my joggers?

Those are pretty nice.

You are wearing joggers.

Do you not wear socks?

Are you into CrossFit now?

Well, I mean, personal best is sort of my thing now.

Yeah, that's actually one of my life advice to my former self.

Don't do CrossFit.

You'll hurt yourself.

When you see a PR on Instagram, that's a personal record.

20.

Here we go. Now we're cooking.
Now we're cooking. 20 years old.
You're half a brain. Yep.
Third of a brain. No matter how smart you think you are, you're an idiot.
Well, that's the problem with being 20. Yeah.
Is that you think you're smart, but you actually only have having a third of a brain. You can't realize that you only have a third of a brain.
You think you got a full brain. you're 20 and you've only been 20 i know this sounds simple but this is why everyone older than you hates you because they all went through the exact same thing where it's like i got everything figured out and then you just realize you don't and it doesn't mean you're not smart it doesn't mean you're not creative like when i think about creative people usually those peak years are in those 20s you know you're seeing things for the first time you're experiencing them in new ways you're reacting and then it's like you know i think most creative people there's special ones but there's some that's like hey you just kind of have like one or two really good ideas when you were young and then it just you get to hang on for a while that's most of of this stuff music i mean how many bands do you go you know what i liked was their seventh album yes like it just doesn't really happen so that's where if i'm young i kind of want to be like fuck you to everybody older who's telling me what's up but we're talking like the general population here just the normalcy of going through it you can't you can't have any of this perspective that you're going to need and you're definitely going to have a little bit later.
So nobody really wants to like, they may respect you and be cordial and talk to you, but they still think you're an idiot when you leave the room. And you need to know that when you're 20.
Because you don't want to believe it. You're listening to this.
You're like, that's not true. Screw you guys.
The safest bet in the world is that when you turn 30, you're going to go, I can't believe I thought the way I did about everything. It's not your political beliefs change your morals change it's just it's hard to explain but another third of life experience makes you realize like all the shit that i thought was so important and i just i would say i'd finished it this way is all the stuff you think is so important almost isn't here's my question as the old man in the room does that ever end does this cycle of like you know because like the whole reason i got off facebook was because when facebook started doing the uh hey you posted this three years ago i thought you'd like to see this that was it i didn't give a shit about the privacy i didn't give a shit about the memes or the the fake news or anything else it was i would log into facebook and be like remember when you posted this three years ago and then i would cringe and i'd be like, I was the worst three years ago.
Thank God I have it figured out now. And then three years pass and then I do it again.
You're like, wait, I was an asshole then. Does that ever end? Like when you get in your 40s, are you looking back at when you were 36 and you're like, man, what does an asshole? That post never ends, I don't think.
No. Because I could go back and see a tweet that somebody replied to that I wrote three years later and I thought it was hilarious.
And they go, that wasn't even funny. So I don't think that ever stops.
I hate that. I harassed you for like a full year and a half on Twitter.
Yeah, because you harassed me so much, I wasn't ever going to give you. Yeah, that wasn't very funny.
That was 20s-year-old. How far back can you go in your tweet history to find something that's genuinely funny? One week.
One week all outdated. I think a day old, I'm still sometimes like, oh, what was that? So we're going to do the Mount Rushmore, and it's Mount Rushmore of things that you are elite at.
So it could be as obscure, specific as you want, but it's things that you think that you're elite at that 99% of the world can't do as well as you can. I love this conversation because I spend time thinking, like, what am I closest to the number one world ranking in? Yes.
I can tell you do that all the time. You wake up and do that.
Are we going to Snake Style? Yeah. Why don't Titus start? No, I don't want to start.
Titus, you start. I don't want to start because I have some weird ones, and I need to read the room on how weird we're getting.
Your content's always good. I wouldn't worry about it.
I'll start. Which way are we going? We'll go over still than me that tightest.
Alright, I am elite at changing the channel from CBS to Fox on NFL Sunday. Going back to the game that I really want to be watching right as the first play starts after a commercial break.
Immediately. As the ball is being snapped.
That's good. Amazing at it.
All my other friends suck at it. I nail it.
So you only have one TV? No. Well, I used to only have one TV.
Now I watch Red Zone. Mr.
Don't save any money. Yeah.
That's mean to me. If you would have kept the $125,000 your job, you'd have more TVs.
That's a good point. It is a good skill to be able to go back and forth at the exact right moment.
Yeah, because you've sat in a room with a guy who just has no feel. No feel.
And you're like, hey, just hand it over. Is there anything worse than sitting in a room when you're like over the age of maybe 17 and not having the remote? Well, it's painful.
We had a roommate who used to, when he went up to the bathroom, he'd keep it in his pocket. Oh, no.
So to touch it because that remote had been in the bathroom. That's the other part of it, too, because he wasn't the cleanest guy.
We used to lose it so much that we taped the remote to a big two-by-four. Same.
And that was the way to go. No, exactly.
No, exactly. The first time I saw a guy do that, I went out and bought a two-by-four.
Yes. It was.
We literally just had it. We just passed it around the two-by-four.
But the other part, the downside of that is when you're that young and you just have a night where you just flop down on the couch and all of a sudden you're like, ah. Yeah, you just get to.
Oh, the fucking two-by-four. Like, what is that? Like, oh, it's my remote.
It's a foundation. It's a deck post.
That was a good one, though, PFT. Russell, why don't you start? If I really want to lock in, nobody's better at me than stopping the gas pump.
It's just a straight. Oh, OK.
Really? I'm so good at it. But hold on.
Do we need that skill anymore, though? You don't, but I don't want to lose it. No.
That is the bygone era where you had like $20 in your pocket and you can pump before you pay, right? And so you got to stop it on $20 because if you go over $20, you're like, fuck. now I got to go have a conversation with the guy.
My bad, whatever. Yes.
But now you have to prepay or you just use your card and like, what's the point of stopping it? I just like to see if I still have it. I look at it and I just start going 90, and then I just go, what was your number? Were you a 20 guy? 20, yeah.
Yeah, 20. 20 on the dot.
20 was a lot back in the day. I had 20.
Yes. I think you're fine though because that's what I mean.
Like, I get it, man. Credit cards.
No, the kids growing up, they're not going to be as good. You can be the guy forever.
You're going to be an all-time great. You're like, yeah.
I'm like Bill Russell rebounding numbers. No one's ever going to touch you on this.
I'm sorry, Titus. I went at you pretty hard there.
All right. I think I've told a couple of you guys this, but I think I'm number one in the world at finding open tables at pack bars or seats in general.
Because of my figure and I don't like to stand very much and I'd rather be home than be at a bar if I can't sit, I will always be able to. I'll fucking be able to go out in the back and pull in tables they don't use anymore and set myself up in the back I also, if you do the stare it will get anyone uncomfortable I do the stare at people if they're pretty close to being done and do the stare and they'll get up so much faster I will always find an open table the few times that we've been out together I've been impressed by And now that you bragged about it, you have to deliver so there's extra pressure on you.
No, but my friend's like, we'll go to a bar and I'll just be like, hold on one sec. Like, it's packed.
You stare? Doesn't that kind of suck, though? Well, no, I don't stare at random people. It's when the check is there.
If the check's there and they're like dilly-dallying along. What if it's going really well and they haven't finished the conversation? Well, I mean, look, I feel out the situation, but I'm just telling you, if you come out with me, I will get us a seat.
I will not stand up. You ever gone to a table that maybe the check's on the table and it's a super crowded bar and you sit down at the table before they even get up? Oh, I clean the table myself.
No, I will. I will bust my own table so I can have the table.
While the people are still sitting there? No, they'll get up and I'll bust it. And then I'll be like, and I also get the best move to do is to talk to the people that are already sitting there.
Like, hey, you guys leaving soon? Okay, cool. Can I have this table when you go? Okay, cool.
So if anyone comes here, just say that I got rights to it. And then maybe just kind of give them a little look like there'll be violence if this doesn't go down the right way.
Well, it's a good thing you're not in better shape because you're so big. I'll sit on you if this doesn't go the right way.
This huge Midwest guy. He's friends with J.J.
Watt, I heard. I am exceptional at moving well through crowds.
So I'm able to get from point A to point B in a big crowd very fast and lose anyone. Especially when a table's open.
When a table's open also dealing with like big crowds i don't like them but i can manage them very well and i also like uh i'm the guy i was at the bucks well this is gonna be wait later but i was the bucks uh raptors game number two eastern conference final get there the whole section's standing up for like the first four minutes. I was like, are we doing this? Are we really doing this? Yeah.
And I gave a real, real loud down in front and everyone fucking sat down. So I can manipulate crowds very well.
And that's not even your team. No, I don't give a fuck about this game.
People should turn around and told you to shut up. No, I just gave a nice, if you do a loud down in front, everyone would be like, fuck, shit.
Am I bad? They should have seen, but that's actually, that's more of an indictment on Bucs fans. Like, why would they sit down? Well, because it was like, no, but it was like, I didn't pick it when it was like after a Giannis dunk.
I picked it like four minutes in, and it was like maybe there's a TV timeout or something. They just went down like double dominoes.
And I just fucking gave the perfect one, and just boom, everyone was down. So, yeah, I move well and manipulate through crowds very well.
Also do the hot soup on a packed subway train in New York if you're trying to get to the exit. Just give a quick hot soup coming through, and everyone will move out of the way.
Swear to God. It's so stupid, but it works every time.
Every time. Who taught you that? I fucking say it every time.
You invented hot soup? If I can't get through, you just scream. Yeah, I've said that.
It's only emergency. Is that a skill? Yeah, that's the most Midwestern thing I've ever heard.
That is a skill. I don't even know.
Does that count as being good at something? Yes, manipulating crowds. So you just behave like a lunatic.
Correct. That also is another way to say it.
I've got a gun. Yeah.
What is your miss? I mean, that actually would probably work, dude. Ebola.
Ebola. You know what? You want to share that with me on Mount Rushmore? Let me do.
good at it hey listen it's a skill i'm sorry i think i'm a lead in it yelling hot soup i love the i love the thing like i love the idea of looking at you yelling hot soup and like all and it was really your face is so humble yeah that's what yeah that's what i mean in mind, you think that it's working and everyone thinks you have soup. But really, they're just like, this guy's a fucking lunatic.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Point A to point B. It doesn't matter how I got there.
All right. All right.
Next up, we have one of my favorite interviews of the year, Ike Taylor, former Steeler. He had some great stories talking about chasing rabbits down in New Orleans and sharing a couple fun sit-downs that he had with James Harrison and how James Harrison has interacted with his own children.
Okay, we now welcome on two-time Super Bowl champion. Two times.
Two-time Super Bowl champion, Ike Taylor. Two more times.
Oh, you want four? No, I was just saying two times. You want two more? Yeah.
Do you wear your rings? Not at all. Ever? Not at all.
Okay, so it's Ike Taylor, formerly from the Pittsburgh Steelers, two-time Super Bowl champion. Where are your rings? At the house.
Okay. Can I just say that it's really one and a half rings? Well, I got to be one and a half.
Because the ref's got the other half of the ring in the Seahawks Super Bowl. No, not at all.
And also that fumble by Bettis against the Colts, that was pretty lucky. Right, but that was not a fault that we won.
Yeah, were you- You give, you taking a half from my ring. You should give that to Vanderjack.
And you bringing up old stuff from the Colts. Yeah, one and a quarter is really what it should be.
Boy, y'all hard on the pimp. I heard that you used to train, you used to train your quickness in a very unusual way.
You used to chase animals around. Man, my uncle was old school.
And I didn't know that that was kind of the norm in Florida. Like, the boys go in the fields and they really chase rabbits.
Like, that's what they do. Like, I was just doing that because my uncle was like, man, this will get you better and

faster and quicker.

So I was just doing that just because I always had that drive of good work ethic.

But you go down in Florida where Fred Taylor is from, where Santonio Holmes is from, they

call it Muck City.

Yeah.

Muck City, Florida.

That's what them boys really do.

Yeah.

Them boys really chase rabbits. They run into that high grass stuff.
Yeah. And they get to chasing.
Yeah. Makes you quick, right? I mean, it's all mental.
Have you ever caught a rabbit? No, I got close. You know, it's the ski skirt.
They got the ski skirt. I'm not built.
If you get me straight ahead, I'm built. But the ski skirt? Right.
So you touch one? You ever touch one? Like a flag football? You get them down on flag football? With a rabbit? Yeah. No, I mean, I touch a human being in flag football.
No, but I'm saying, like, have you gotten that close where you've, like, I've gotten real close and got nervous. Yeah, because what are you going to do? What do you do? I'm going to catch the rabbit, then what? The dog dog chasing the car and then they finally get it right uh-oh yeah uh does big ben does he ever i don't want to say fake injuries but sometimes the injuries seem more severe than they actually are like a dog like walking on like a cold sidewalk and it yelps.
It's like, come on, you're fine,

dog. Anything like that?

Am I explaining it well?

You're

explaining it too well.

He's tough as hell.

There's no other quarterback

in the league

can play

in Pittsburgh the way

Seven have played. Now, it's a lot of injuries Seven way Seven have played.

Now, it's a lot of injuries Seven shouldn't have played.

Yeah.

But he's just a tough – that's what makes Seven seven.

Yeah.

Just a tough son of a gun.

And there's probably a lot of the other injuries that –

Seven, man, come on, man.

Stop all that BS.

He got the walking boot on.

Like Seven, like real, like – that's the road we're going down. That's what we're doing today? That's what we're doing today, seven.
So you're going to have the boot on on Monday, but Tuesday you're going to be all good? Yeah. He's just going to be strapped up with seven ice packs walking around like the Michelin Man.
When the boot goes on, you're not nervous. I ain't.
Because you know it's coming off in a day. It's been – then please, I got a camera? Yeah.
Seven. I got you.
It's been plenty of times where he's haven't said anything, and you'll be like, damn, how did he play with that injury? Yeah. And there's been a few times where he's said something.
He used to always show that graphic of him after week five that would show like the human body and every single part of it had like red lines of pain shooting out of the building here's an injury his whole body was like banged up but that's seven but we we all knew and understood could nobody play that position in Pittsburgh like seven but seven we're gonna be very sad when he retires because he's he's he's oh yeah we kill him hell now makes football fun yeah 100 yeah and we did everything together. We did everything.
Like, to this day, I'm still in the 20-something man group text from that Super Bowl. To this day, a 20-something man group text.
And it's just our kids call each other uncle, like Uncle Troy, Uncle Ike, Uncle Chris Hope, Uncle Joey Porter, Casey Hampton. Like it's just everything is uncle but one thing I did like about you know Coach Cowell and Coach Tomlin man is just he let our sons run around in that locker room.
That's cool. Which was huge because my son to this day he's 12.
He still understands and remembers what was going on.

Like, hey, man, because my son played football.

Like, why you be trying to run through these boys?

He was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul.

That's a bad idea.

Yeah, he was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul out of these kids.

At 12.

Yeah, so they can come in the locker room as long as you don't Instagram Live

or Facebook Live while Coach is talking. I can just see Jim's hair

sitting your son down

and just being like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, hey, listen. I need you to take the soul out of these kids.
And dead serious. Yeah.
That's so good. He was dead serious.
Like, hey, man, come here. Come here, little Ivan.
That's my son's name. He'd come over there.
He'd be like, yes, sir. You play football? Yes, sir.
You in a good? Well, I'm just starting. When you hit him, make sure you take the soul out of him, okay? Okay, next up we have our good friend who we just became good friends with, John Rothstein.
Obviously, he had some controversy these past couple weeks, but we have his back.

We will still fight anyone. What controversy? Is he just being polite to coaches? Yeah, being really nice to coaches, having friends.
Sorry if French. Yeah, the art of the thank you note is alive and well.
Good luck, coach. But yeah, here he is, John Rothstein, and a little bit of his crazy, crazy brain.
I want to talk about a couple of these tweets

and get some explanation for the... a little bit of his crazy, crazy brain.

I want to talk about a couple of these tweets and get some explanation for the hits.

So you have This Is March.

That one has taken on its own life.

This Is March is like... Have you patented it?

Do you have rights to that?

I don't have the rights to it yet.

We should do that.

We got it.

Actually, just declared we got it.

Maybe down the road, but nothing yet. Okay, and then you also have the spinoff, this is only November, this is only December, to let you know that it's not March.
Correct. Right.
So you also are almost like- You're trying to stay on brand. Yeah, you're like a calendar, too.
Like, we know what month it is if you follow you. And you know we only sleep in May.
What about tougher than a long weekend at your in-laws? For West Virginia basketball. Do you only use it for West Virginia?

Only use that for West Virginia.

Okay.

Here's the thing about West Virginia.

It's interesting.

I went to a practice a couple years ago, you know, when obviously Huggs was the coach.

And it's three hours.

And it's all of three hours.

I was, like, sitting there.

And it's, like, hand-to-hand combat.

They're scrimmaging.

And they go through nine possessions each for a team.

And they're keeping score.

And it's two to two. And, like, I'm sitting there and i'm just like this is like russell crowe and gladiator there we go like that a little bit that was that was like what i was getting into and i couldn't believe it so i was just like you know i'm just sitting there in practice hugs is walking around he's going hard after i remember sagaba canate who you remember javon carter was on the team.
For 15 years. And I was just kind of like this.

I was like, this practice is tougher than a weekend at somebody's in-laws,

and I'm not even married.

I was like, wait a minute.

That's cold.

It's cold.

So I was like, for the first game, for the first game, I'm going to tweet it.

Did you write it down?

Wrote it down in my notebook.

And the best part is, this year they were struggling,

and when I tweeted it, all the West Virginia fans were like,

God, how I missed this tweet.

I don't want to take it for granted anymore. I like that.
I like the fact that you're not even married, but you just know how tough a weekend at the end loss can be. I've heard stories.
I've been single in New York for a long time. I'm not single now, but...
All right. Okay.
I've got one here that I actually have a bone to pick with. West Virginia is like a Fortune 500 company.
That's Villanova. I'm sorry.
Villanova is like a Fortune 500 company. It runs itself.
Do you know how Fortune 500 companies work, like with the CEO and board of directors? Well, I tweak that. I tweak that one, and now it's just Villanova basketball has become a Fortune 500 company, and now it's just Villanova basketball, a Fortune 500 company.
That was in the early stages. I'm thinking like Topher Grace in good company.
Remember that when they started that? You know, with the movie with Dennis Quaid? Scarlett Johanssonson before she became scarlett johansson but that was more the early stages so on and so have you seen a movie in the last five years in the last five years what did i see recently i creed 2 i was very disappointed oh the original creed like you give me ricky but that's a movie from the 80s so of course you saw that no i'm saying like it's the rocky jurassic world yeah that's yeah that's from the mid-90s yeah um i i read that you watch a part of rocky 2 rocky 3 or rocky 4 before every time you go on the air is that still true that was true i've been i've had to decrease my rocky influence because my girlfriend was in my apartment i had this big plaque in my apartment of rocky 2 3 and 4 on one wall i can't believe you're single for this long. And then on the other side, there's a picture of Rocky 4 as well.
I mean, for a while, that was it. Rocky consumed your life.
Did you guys think Over the Top was underrated? Oh, I love that movie. Over the Top is great.
Yeah. One of the best.
One of the best. Although the little kid is such a, oh, he's so annoying.
Yeah, but the world does mean nobody halfway. There we go.
Right. What about a VCU home game more life-altering than a 10-day trip to Europe? So a couple questions here.
One is, have you done a 10-day trip to Europe? Never been to Europe. I've never been to Europe.
No, I've never been to Europe. I've never had a cup of coffee.
I've never played Goplin. I've never been to Europe.
No, I've never been to Europe.

I've never had a cup of coffee.

I've never played golf, and I've never had a glass of wine.

Okay.

You've never had a glass of wine?

No, I tried it once.

It didn't stick.

Okay.

All right.

So you've heard that going to Europe for 10 days is like,

True story. I was back and forth with a girl for two years,

and, you know, Polar Opposites, really nice girl or whatever,

but this was like peak shaka. Okay.
And, like, you know, we would get into arguments and stuff she's like oh you got to get more cultured like you haven't you know even been to europe whatever i was like yeah but you haven't been to a home game at the seagull center and i was like this was peak shaka this was travion graham briante weber like you want to do push-ups on picket fences when they put the press on and i would so this was kind of my subtle way after we broke up to kind of like send, you know, a shot across the bat. Oh, I like that.
Nice. I actually saw tweeting your Instagram.
Now I really like it because every time you put that out there, I know that somebody's just getting like a knife twisted. Have you ever explained these? Because these are so great.
Like these make them so much better. No, but please go on.
I'm enjoying it. Here's another one.
We've got a few of these. Virginia basketball, a thing of beauty.
2014-15 season. Kentucky starts out 38-0.
And people are killing Virginia. Virginia's the other team, remember, until Justin Anderson got hurt.
People are saying, well, Virginia could beat Kentucky. And I'm watching them game after game.
Only one team could beat Kentucky that year. Wisconsin, but they lost to Duke.
Okay. But I'm watching Virginia play throughout the season, and if you're a basketball purist, not turning it over, taking good shots, and the way they can control the game.
If you're an old guy. I have great respect, and look, I know we're taping this before the NCAA tournament.
Virginia has won 33-3 in the ACC regular season over the last two years.

It's not Duke.

You have to tip your cap at some point.

So I was just like, this is a thing of beauty.

And I was like, wait a minute.

Everybody says it's ugly.

And I was like, I'm going to drop this.

And all of a sudden it's like, you know.

Do you have your notebook on you right now?

I have one in my bag.

Like in case genius strikes in the moment.

I always sleep with a notebook and a pen not far away.

You didn't even have to tell us that.

If I get a thought.

Yeah, we knew that.

Yeah, you didn't have to tell us that.

Okay, the next interview, this is with Blake Bortles.

It was Blake and Jared Goff in Jared's guest house in Los Angeles.

And Blake was talking to us about how he bought a Tesla,

which is an all-time story, the reason why he bought it, and how he bought it.

What is grit?

How do you define grit?

A lot of people have been saying California guys don't have grit. Is that right? Yeah.
A lot of SoCal isn't gritty. What are you guys doing here? Kind of talk.
I mean grit. Is like just being like in the dirt I guess.
Like I think of like dirt. think of a muddy field.
Close your eyes. Everyone close their eyes.
Or it's 100 degrees out in a summer practice, and you don't have much grass on the field. Dusty.
Dusty. Yeah.
Dusty pants. Because it holds a global warming.
Your mouth is super dry. You got dust in the mouth.
California's in a drought. Yes, exactly.
Hopefully no more wildfires. We'll break no more fires, but it doesn't work.
If there are wildfires, Jared Goff will put it out. That's right.
Because people forget he put out a wildfire. Yeah.
Thank you guys for your service. With a half a bottle of Dasani.
That's right. Saved California.
All right, Blake, what's grit for you? Go ahead. Grit to me is kind of more like an acronym.
Getting raunchy in the trenches. Oh, okay.
With two T's, G-R-I-T-T. Grit.
Yes. But yeah, just like the junction boys.
What about getting raunchy in the Tesla? Because we saw your new fancy california car yeah so blake's driving a uh electric car what's up with that tesla a tesla so the plan um was to buy a tesla so that i could quit dipping because then i wouldn't have to go to the gas station so now i just go to the gas station that's a very like expensive way quit dipping, but more power to you. Yeah.
I actually thought you were joking when I first saw it. I thought it was like you were messing around.
Like, oh, I'm in California. I'm going to rent a Tesla.
I also wanted to fit in. But I have a pickup truck back in Jacksonville, and I was like, I don't really want to bring that out to California.
Right. So I figured I'd buy something where I could fit in.
So have you gone to the gas station? Wait, how does it – you just plug it in at home? Yeah, and there's a charger at the facility. So when you drive to work to the Rams facility, do you actually drive or do you just do auto? No, I let it just get on the highway and like you double click the thing twice and it just drives you all the way.
Are you serious? So you're just sitting there like scrolling through your phone? Yeah, I kind of check the news and see what's going on. That's incredible.
It beeps like every 60 seconds and you got to touch the wheel and then it just lets you know you're alive yeah you can't take a nap or something like eat breakfast in your car on the way to work you can yeah that's pretty sweet tell them how you bought it that actually wait but hold on before you tell us how you bought it that actually seems like the perfect car to be able to dip in it's perfect you don't have to worry about your hands like hands, like where the bottle is. There's no more spilling.
No bottle between your legs. Yeah, you ended up trying to pull one out while you're mid-driving.
So technically, yeah, you should probably pick it up again. Very safe.
You ended up getting a trip chamber just for dipping. That's what the Tesla is.
They should market themselves like that. They put out a camo version of the car.
I think the Venn diagram. A Mossy Oak Tesla? Yeah, the Venn diagram of people who dip and people who own Teslas.
Probably don't touch. Probably just Blake.
Yeah, just Blake Bortles standing there. All right, so tell us the story of how you bought it.
So I needed like an SUV because I have a truck, and I wanted something like a Tahoe or something like that just to drive around. And I was kind of looking at websites, and then I ended up on the Tesla website, and it was like, design your own.
So I'm like, I'm going to see what I can do here. And then I got to the last page, and there was a buy now button.
And I was like, well, I got to hit this. I got a call immediately like, hey, congratulations on your Tesla purchase.
Like a Nike ad issues. Yeah, right.
Like sneakers app, the eBay. Customize.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I guess that's kind of how they're doing it now. So did you have to enter a credit card number for the buy it now button or it was just like on your honor.
I immediately called me. It was just like I was sitting over the wiring instructions.
Oh my God. All right.
Guess we got one. Okay.
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Okay, we're going to wrap up our interviews with uh we have a double here it's rome cubed when pft and devlin and frank caliendo did rome on rome on rome and then when pft did his patrick mahomes impression for patrick mahomes himself so these were great moments from 2019 and we'll wrap up with this and then we have more best of coming up after this. I think we talked about Rome last time.
He didn't talk to me but didn't look at me. Yes.
He does that with everyone. What did he give you on a scale of 1 to 10? He gives everybody the same thing.
Negative 5. Cut his vine.
Send this clown back to Chino Hills. How great is this? What is going on right now? No idea.
I'd like to cut on this guy's jib.

Legend.

Right now, what we're doing is trying to figure out the timing of the other guy's Rome impression.

That is absolutely correct. You just mouthed a full sentence in between words.

That is ridiculous.

P-F-T-T-F-F-F.

Cut this guy's vibe. This guy's a clown.
Absolute clown. You know who's a clown? The dude who lives in the sewer in that Stephen King movie.
That's a scary movie. Ridiculous.
No clutch gene on that guy. Don't bring that up.
He does not have it. That movie scared me.
Great line. Great.
Thanks, Rome. I feel like I just complimented myself, which is what I'm internally doing constantly.
Get on there. Get on there.
Here we go. We having a Rome party.
Great as that. Let me join.
Rome Cubed. This is what we need to do.
We need to get on our cell phones at the Vatican and call each other. Preach.
Roman, Roman, Rome. I love it.
JC, are you getting this? I call this the Roman centipede. Next up, we got Dan from Segundo.
Dan, hold on a second, guys. I hate to cut you off.
Actually, I love it. But the Roman centipede might be the greatest reference I've ever heard.
We're going to cut each other's bottoms off and connect ourselves and regurgitate takes through our own mouths and esophagi. Roman through Rome.
Rome's throat and butthole are burning. Brought to you by Sea Geek.
We'll be back after this. Dan from Chicago.
That was Rome. LeBron or M.J.
Rome cubed. I forgot that Devlin was in here.
Infinity War. He does the Rome as well.
I don't know what just happened. And now for something completely different.
Do you want to ask him a question in the patch of my homes? How good were you playing 500 when you were a kid? And you bet you could throw the football quarter mile right straight through the clouds. All I heard was football as a kid, and I didn't play football until I was in high school.
Patrick, you misheard me. Throw the ball a quarter mile through the clouds.
I heard it because I can't hear you. Patrick, I was like, play 500 with boys in the backyard.
I've never heard myself talk in person, so I can't understand. Is that better or worse than Coach Reed's? No, Coach Reed's is on point, man.
Coach Reed is exactly what I think I sound like. So to me, it's on point at least.
Okay, next up we have the Boner Dog Saga. 2019 was the year of the Boner Dog.
It was the year that we got to actually pitch the film itself to the Sandman, Adam Sandler, and Kevin Garnett, and we got to see it kind of go from just a little idea that we had in the back of Vanny Woodhead into being potentially a major motion picture that will be developed over the next two years. Yeah, if you've listened to this show, you've heard it happen over the years, but this is everything condensed in a tight fashion.
Love it. You starred, I think you were the star of a number of Adam Sandler movies.
You're friends with Adam Sandler. We want to pitch you some Adam Sandler movie ideas, and you tell us if you think you would make them.
You ready? Okay. All right.
First one. You know the movie This Is 40? Yeah.
Jared Apatow? Yeah. All right, so this is the sequel.
It's called This is Farty. And Adam Sandler plays Dr.
Peter Yu, Dr. P.U., and he is a millionaire proctologist in L.A.
And it's starring Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, cameos from Kevin Farley, Kevin James, Will Ferrell, and you. Okay.
I like it. Do you think he'd make it? No, I love it.
So the next movie, this one is the exact same plot as Old Yeller. Keep it going.
Oh, wait, wait. I got a gift.
I'm getting a gift. No, no, no.
The same plot as Old Yeller. It's called Boner Dog.
Oh, no. Boner Dog.
So it's Old Yeller, except he's got a boner the whole time. Wow.
That was a great interview. That thing went by so quickly.
It only felt like 30 minutes. You said earlier in this podcast, if you can look into a director's eyes and feel the movie they're trying to make, you're in.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, yes. So.
That was something I said. Boner dogs.
Yeah. So look into our...
Boner dogs. Yeah.

Very rare.

Boner dogs.

All right.

I'll start.

Okay.

And by the way, the in the eyes thing isn't like you don't have to stare into my eyes.

Oh, but you said in the eyes.

We're very little people.

We'll look straight.

It's like I've gathered your vibe.

Okay.

Boner dogs.

Okay.

Here's how it goes.

The name wins.

Go ahead.

Yes.

Okay.

So yes.

It's Iditarod.

The name wins.

Do you know the Iditarod?

Yes.

I do know. They're running around in Alaska.
It's- Snow Dogs. PFT.
Sidebar. Hold on.
Rush. What's the movie? Rush.
I fucking forgot this plot. Besides the fact that the dog has a boner.
All right, so- Okay, boner dogs. Think about it.
Boner dogs. What my colleague- I'm going to let PFT take it from here.
I could help you ride it. What my colleague was trying to say,

the point he was trying to get across is

the dog has a boner.

Oh yeah, the dog has a boner.

It's a pack of sled dogs.

And they go out

and they all make fun of this one boner dog

because he's got a boner.

You've always got a boner, dog.

These flaccid little dog dicks

that aren't red. And so they get lost

out in the wilderness, right? Super lost.

And the only way they can get back is

Thank you. You always got a boner, dog.
These flaccid little dog dicks that aren't red. And so they get lost out in the wilderness, right?

Super lost.

And the only way they can get back is boner dog follows the trail of his boner to get back home.

It's like a little fucking rudder.

Get this.

The dogs are played by Kevin Hart.

Mm-hmm.

Or their voices.

It could be animated.

Either way.

Your call.

Oh, I love Kevin Hart's voice.

One more sidebar.

One more sidebar.

Kevin Hart.

Jack Black.

Let's make sure that we give Zach the role of the boner. The lead boner.
No, the boner. Okay.
The voice of the boner. Redo it, redo it.
Kevin Hart. Get there.
Will Ferrell. Mm-hmm.
Adam Sandler. Mm-hmm.
David Spade. Mm-hmm.
Chris Rock. Kevin James.
The Rock. Rob Schneider.
The Rock actually plays a rock. Guys, Guys, if you can cast that movie

Just call it Boner Dogs

And you win

I'll be in it

We're going to give you the voice of the boner

Okay, cool

We have a movie that we're out in market to

You know Adam Sandler

You know Adam Sandler

Zac Efron's attached

Zac Efron's loosely attached

It's called Boner Dogs

Boner Dogs

Zac Efron is loosely attached wow yeah it's called boner dogs boner dogs yeah butter dogs zach efron is loosely attached we have discussed it with him and he said sounds interesting yeah well he was like yeah he was yeah actually he was kind of he was really into it yeah he was into it in our eyes yeah that's what he did he was like i can tell that i'm passionate about it yeah so i don't know if you want to get loosely attached but actually you already are loosely attached loosely attached is a good name for something we basically just pitch it to him and then we're like now you're loosely attached loosely attached I think I want to name a movie that or an album maybe that's the movie you go around Hollywood and you just tell the movie script to people and then you go to the next person. It's like a pyramid scheme for a movie.
It's Boner Dogs or This is Farty. You can decide which one you want to be loosely attached to.
We already have Zac Efron, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider. Lawrence Taylor is attached to it.
Lawrence Taylor. Dan Patrick.
We have someone already playing the part of the boner. Ice Cube.
In Boner Dogs. I like Boner Dogs.
It's hookier. Okay, so you're in.
This is easy. And you're good friends with Adam Sandler.
We actually made this script for Adam Sandler. Well, I realize I'm not the lead anymore, but if Adam...
No, you can be the boner. You can be the boner.
He can be the dog. We're here to offer you...
You can be the voice of the boner. It's an animation.
You're Adam's dick. Oh, it's animated.
Yeah, so Adam will be the dog, and you'll be the boner. I'm like the little red lipstick.
Yeah, exactly. He did get lost in the woods in his boner.
It's an animation. You're Adam's dick.
Oh, it's animated. Yeah, so Adam will be the dog and you'll be the boner.
I'm like the little red lipstick. Yeah, exactly.
They get lost in the woods and his boner brings them all the way back. It's kind of like a Hansel and Gretel meets Rudolph the Red to his reindeer.
They're lost in the woods. They all make fun of him because he's got a boner all the time.
And he just drags him. And he leaves a dog and drags him.
He leaves a track behind. You like it? I would make fun of him.
Okay. You like it? It feels like it needs a bit of a handmaid's tale okay okay woven in I mean he can wear one of those little like white bonnets the boner so we can't chew on his bones yeah yeah yeah yeah self-sucking boner all right well yeah maybe at you're loosely attached do you think we can make to get into can we got some ideas, but I don't know if they're like art house enough.
My tuxedo's like seven years old. Yeah, wait, wait.
Stop. Hit me with these ideas.
Go. Oh, boner dogs.
I mean, we can pitch you with boner dogs, but it seems like it'd be too elevated. Pitch me now.
Give me the elevator pitch. First question.
Do you know Adam Sandler? Have you ever worked with Adam Sandler? Adam and I are dying for something to do, and we said if it could have to do with dogs, that would be great. would be great okay good it's called boner dogs and it's about this dog that always has a boner and it's got uh he's like the leader of a pack of sled dogs and they get lost can I ask you a question yeah go any further have we seen it before no no we haven't okay this is kind of no brand new concept it's like a mix between Debbie does Dallas and uh snow dogs and Rudolph yeah well before I go any further let me just say the dogs are voiced by Zac Efron.
He's attached to it. Correct.
Loosely attached. I heard his episode.
Yeah. Oh, there you go.
Ice Cube is loosely attached. Loosely attached.
Adam Sandler is what we're hoping for. Kevin James, Chris Farley, Chris Rock.
Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider are all voices of the dogs.
David Spade. David Spade is the voice of the boner.
And the dog gets lost in wood. The only way that he can get back is by following the trail of his little red lipstick that's guided them out there in the snow.
It kind of got emotional at the end there. It all came around.
At first it was funny and then it got so emotional. The dog got lost.
It's a whole thing about don't boner shame and all that stuff. Kids will learn from this.
Guys, I am 100%. This is why you did that 70s show, so that you can finance the passion projects.
Be the sugar daddy. Kevin is getting into the film industry.
I've got a lucrative opportunity for you and a prestigious opportunity, if we're being honest, because I think that with the names that we have attached, it could really do something. It's a movie.
If you'd like to invest in it, if you'd like to star in it, produce it, act in it, up to you. Let me handle this.
It's called Boner. Wait, wait, Adam.
Okay. It's for Kevin.
It's for Kevin. It's not for you.
It's called Boner Dogs. Boner Dogs.
Right, so Boner Dogs. Boner? So far, so far.
Boner? Adam. Boner? I've already said the word Boner.
Boner? Like dogs. Adam, if dogs have boners.
D-E-A-W-E. I have to give away the whole plot.
What's that, groin pains? Like groin pains boner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
Adam, if I have a movie to pitch to you, I'll do it, but I'm talking to Kevin now. This is his opportunity.
Boner dogs? Boner dogs. Boner dogs.
So it's about a team of sled dogs, and they make fun of the one who's not allowed to really be the sled dog because he's always got a boner, and none of the other ones get it. You like that, Adam? So far, it's good.
And all the other ones, they don't have boners, but one does. It's kind of like a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Ranger type thing.
Adam. I'm saying it.
I'm laughing in a great, great way. You're nailing this pitch, P.S.
And then, okay. And so they bring in the dog that has the boner, and he's actually the one that saves the day at the end because they get lost in the woods but his boner drags through the snow and they don't have to track it they can track it so Kevin the people that we have loosely attached and this is all true, we've talked to all these people all people that we've interviewed loosely attached we have David Spade we have Jimmy Tatro we have Lawrence Taylor we have who else have who else? Rob Schneider.
Rob Schneider. No, we don't.
You didn't catch. Kevin James.
Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart.
Chris Tucker. Chris Rock.
Who's playing the boner dog? Well, the boner itself is voiced by Will Ferrell. Okay.
The dog. Yeah.
How many dogs do you have? We need nine dogs. You need nine dogs? Nine dogs.
So it's like reindeer almost? Are you in? Are you in or you're out? I'm in Adam, you interested? you want to get in? executive producer kind of thing? if you want, that's fine so Adam Sandler executive producer boner dogs also, this is actually a good opportunity for both of you.

We're talking about Oscar bars.

Is it?

With this, we could even target, like micro-target a category.

So we'll film it.

We'll do it in an animated short overseas

so it can be eligible for best foreign animated short.

No one watches.

But we'll tape it in the Bahamas.

And so we just get everybody to fly down there for a vacation. And while you're here do the voiceover for the Boner Dogs and so you guys will be Oscar winners as well are we in? yeah you wouldn't say no to an Oscar right? no but I don't live for it if you want to get me one this will be your second one exactly we're getting the wrap up way before the Boner Dogs going to win one.
You want to get me one. This will be your second one.
Exactly. We're getting the wrap up.
We've got the wrap up like way before the Boner Dogs pitch. You guys needed the Boner Dogs.
Let me see how serious y'all are. Dogs have boners.
Dogs have boners and it's always funny. It's funny.
Okay, PFT, I have a question for you real quick. SeatGeek question.
me get ten dollars off uh your seake purchase when you put in promo code take did we or did we not fulfill one of our longtime promises this year and give the listeners an airport review we did we did still haven't joined a cult just yet but we're we're working on that did we do one airport review or two? We've done one. We did one.
We might do another one. I think we did another one on Instagram Live or something like that, but we did do an airport review.
This was in the Minneapolis airport? Indianapolis. Indianapolis airport.
Same thing. Indianapolis.
Yeah. So let's do the airport review.
Tick. A bunch of civilians over here in the channel.
I'm going to buzz over real quick. You've killed my boy.
He fell down the butt he says and you shoved him. Oh, for fucking sake.
I want fire. I want fire.
I want fire. The boats were supposed to be here.
Why'd you knock out that little lad? How did we plan a war with one of our soldiers? He's bleeding from his head. Why would we put all our soldiers over there? Get out of the water.
There's oil in the water. He's bleeding from his ears.
There's oil. There's oil.
There's heaps of oil. Hey, I'm from One Direction.
I shoot rifles. Okay, welcome.
Hold on, PFT. Let's do a quick intro real quick.
We are in the Indianapolis airport right now. We just got off the flight.
Hank is under the influence of narcotics after oral surgery. Wait, hold on.
This is the first airport review. This is a big moment.
This is a big moment. This is the first airport review we've ever done.
And we just landed. And it's like, are you nervous? No, not at all.
We're in Indianapolis. You know why I'm not nervous? Because we had a delightful pair of flight attendants on that plane, and they took special care of Big Cat and I, and they actually want to talk to us.
So I think it would probably be a good place to start asking them what their opinion of the Indianapolis airport is. So let's go talk with them.
Okay, Hank. Come on.
We're not cutting any of this. So just make sure.
This is it.

Okay.

We're here with our two flight attendants from our trip from LaGuardia to Indianapolis.

We have Miss Ty.

Hi.

Hi.

And Cynthia.

Cynthia.

Cynthia and Ty.

So first question, how were we as passengers on your flight?

Good question.

Hilarious. Wait, hold on.
Hilarious and well-behaved, I heard. Yes, hilarious and well-behaved.
Okay. But more well-behaved.
Okay, now between Dan and I, Big Cat and I, which one of the two of us do you think was a cooler passenger on your plane? I love you both, but I'm going to have to say Big Cat. Yep, exactly.
Didn't think that was going to happen, PFT. I don't know why you made it a competition.

That's unfortunate.

Do you, what is the proper, there's been a lot of debate in recent history.

Is it flight attendant?

Is it stewardess?

Is it flight assistant?

I'm going to take this one.

So it's flight attendant, not stewardess, because we're not there as your steward to

clean up after you.

We're there to attend to you during an emergency. So's flight attending get it right y'all it's not 1952 anymore i noticed that you pulled a nice little trick at the start of the flight to get everybody's attention during the safety briefing you held up a phone you said somebody left their phone on the jetway now that i have your attention i'm going to teach you guys to be safe.
What other cool tricks do you guys have that you like to pull on us? I have a few. Tell yours.
Because yours are probably better than mine. Mine are mostly, you know, everybody loses things in the airport.
So I tell them, oh, I found something on the jet bridge. Just give me a second.
And they're all waiting, bated breath. What am I going to pull out? And it's a safety card.
That's good. I would have fallen for that one.
So when you came around and asked if everyone wanted stuff, you gave me a Diet Coke and I didn't take out my tray and you saw me just kind of raw dog the Diet Coke. Were you impressed by that move? Very impressed.
I could tell it was very impressive. There was this like awkward moment where Ty was like, is he going to just hold this cup and the Diet Coke? And I was like, fuck yeah, I am.
You went for it. I was very surprised.
Wouldn't you say it's like a little bit more of a baller move though that I had a beer and Dan only had a Diet Coke? Well, it's not baller because I gave you a beer pre-departure and you didn't drink it. Oh, PFT keeps losing.

I want an official attraction. Why do you mean this competition?

I want it on the record that I did drink the beer.

I just didn't know that I had to open it and drink it before takeoff.

And then she confiscated my beer from me.

And then I couldn't get it back until that thing dinged at me above 10,000 feet.

What do you guys rank the Indy Airport?

Scale of 1 to 10.

I would say it's number 1 in the nation. Whoa, wow.
That is strong. We picked a good place to start.
Start at the top. And you, Ty? I'd say maybe like 10 being the highest or 1 being the highest.
Well, she just ripped my scale to shreds and said just 1 overall. Yeah, she said number 1 overall.
I'm just asking scale of 1 to 10. Alright, if one is the lowest, I'm going to say like a...
No, you said in the nation. I'm going to say five.
Five, that's a rookie score. Okay.
One flight, everybody knows the rules. That's fair.
Alright. Alright, well, thank you, ladies.
Appreciate it. It was a great flight.
Beautiful flight, and we appreciate you guys and uh thanks for listening yeah thanks for

getting us here thank you so much shout out to myself okay shout out to cynthia's niece ashley west that was awesome that was great thank you guys all right here we go so we learned a lot here let's let's move over here pft real quick so uh we have see ya bye um so we're not going to this. So we are just outside of – what gate are we in? This is gate A1 through 5.
We're at A5, and we are now going to walk to our baggage claim, and we're going to give you a live review of the Indianapolis airport. We are dragging.
So to paint a visual for everyone who's listening right now hank is walking behind us with the recorder we have microphones in our hands we're gonna someone's gonna trip we promise someone's gonna trip um little fun fact behind the scenes at part of my take it was at this very location right here that we found out that barstool van talk got picked up by espn yes so we're very happy young dumb and full come so here we're yeah that's right hank puked on that flight first first stop we're gonna make is actually the bathroom right across from the harry and izzy's you can't bring the camera in yeah let's leave our bags right here so we're gonna bring hank in we'll be back for the camera you go in the middle urinal uh bubba just maybe do like an ambiance videotape thing And then we'll put it into the show So like people can just kind of see it Here we go Sir, what's your name? I'm not going there What do you think? You got it jerked off, huh? No, I just think I hate Boston I hate all of you, I hate Boston Okay, but what about Robert Kraft? Like the jerked off thing. The what? The jerked off thing?

Yeah.

The jerked off thing.

You came to me and asked, what about Robert Kraft?

I said, you got jerked off.

I think he is guilty.

Surely to God.

Okay.

Any relation to Bob Kravitz?

Me?

No.

Do you work for the NFL?

No.

Okay, thank you, sound.

I live here.

Your zipper's halfway there. Oh, yeah, I know.
I'm about to go to the bathroom. Just hanging out for the NFL? No.
Okay, thank you, sir. I live here.
Your zipper's halfway.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I'm about to go to the bathroom.

Just hanging out in the airport.

You stopped us right before we got to the bathroom.

Well, yeah, we were walking.

I do appreciate that you just stopped us and said, hey, what do you think about Bob Craft?

I know who you guys are.

Oh, thank you.

And I just evolved.

You know, it's so close.

I'm just not a fan of Bob Craft. Okay, well, appreciate it.
You know what? That's why we love sports. I'm a Colts fan, and obviously you guys beat the shit out of us too much, and that's why I don't like it.
Yeah, but you guys got that cool banner. The 2014 AFC finalists.
That's a one-of-a-kind. Yeah, that's tough.
I don't think any other team has that. I've gone to the Super Bowl as many times as you guys do.
All right. Thank you, Mr.
Ursa. We've got to go pee.
You guys don't think you guys are actually cheap, do you? I mean, none of that. Let's take this into the bathroom.
Let's go into the bathroom. Would you like to join us in a conversation? We're going to use the bathroom.
So, all right, we only have one. I've looked for you guys on Twitter.
You guys have it. PFT, you use this.
Hank's going to wait out here. I'm going to use that stall.

I'm going to use the handicap stall on PFT.

I'll go over the top here.

PFT, I'm actually using...

All right, so quick review here, PFT.

Let me start.

The handicap stall has its own sink.

That is nice.

That's unbelievable.

Mm-hmm.

How's it flowing there? Okay, this non-handicap stall is actually very spacious. I would actually say that this non-handicap stall is as spacious as most handicap stalls.
That's nice. Now, it doesn't have the amenities that yours does.
No sink in here. But very large bowl.
As you can see, I've been going for a while. I just got the flush.
And it's still not close to being filled up yet. Fit a lot of soup in here.
My urine was very dark because it was a flight and it actually, people don't realize when you fly, because of the air, the altitude, thank you sir, the air, it sucks all the water out of your body so you get very dehydrated. You've got to make sure you hydrate when you fly.
Also, I would say that the best part about getting off of a plane is that first post-airplane fart that you have. For whatever reason, the altitude sucks it all up in you.
So let's do a quick review.

Dennis, Rob, it was good.

So let's do a quick review while we're standing in the bathroom.

So I thought my stall was fantastic.

Let me take a look at yours.

It was spacious.

See that extra sink?

Why didn't you pee in the sink? Personal sink.

That's a big mistake.

Big mistake.

I thought the hand washers were great. Lack of urinals is a problem there's only three i feel like there's probably some clutter in here it's a small airport though here's where i here's where i rate my airport bathrooms if you walk in and you don't have the overpowering smell of the shit right away you're already like a good airport yeah another thing that i noticed i I don't see any puddles.
A lot of times there are just puddles

laying around these airport bathrooms.

I don't see any here.

I was very, very impressed

with the width of that bathroom.

It really spread out, even in the non-handicap

stall, which is nice. I think we should actually leave

because there actually now is a gentleman

taking a poop.

Alright, you too.

Leave us the fuck alone, man. That guy followed us from the bathroom and kept asking us questions.
He almost accosted me with my zipper down. It was actually probably a sex crime.
Okay. Okay, good.
Let's go. All right, so.
That Harry and Izzy's now has a good shrimp cocktail. Oh, yeah, they have the St.
Elmo's cocktail. They have the St.
Elmo's cocktail right there. Which makes no sense when you think about it, right? I don't know.
Why would St. Elmo's let Harry and Izzy do it? Because they're probably a sister restaurant.
I would imagine. Wait, hold on.
I have to figure out my hands here. Okay.
All right, so we're going to walk. So now we've got to follow to ground transportation.
So overall, PFT, what would you give? The bathroom, are we talking scale 1 to 10? What is that? 7.5. 7.5.
Now, something we should note is that it's 8.15 in Indianapolis. Everything is closed.
Literally everything is closed. Well, we might find a Hudson News.
Even the moving walkway has stopped. Flight's in just said, welcome to Indianapolis.
Like, that's the thing here. Everything closes early.
Yeah, which I'm okay with, honestly. So I say we're walking away from where we need to go.
Let's do one moving walkway and then go to the baggage clip. Okay, you going to do any tricks on it? Nope.
I might pull a trick. Here's what really pisses me off.
People who get aggressive on the moving walkway, it fucking sucks, man. What's the deal with the moving walkway? Hey, what's the deal with people on the moving walkway? What's the deal with, why don't they build the entire airport out of moving walkways? The whole world.
How come it's just like one stretch here? So yeah, it is a ghost town. I think we were the last flight.
At 8.10 p't i think we were the last flight at eight at eight at 8 10 p.m we were the last flight to come into indianapolis i like they run a lean operation though not a lot of overhead here here's and also the fact that not too many flights land here mean that it's really clean here's a fun fact people messing it up here's a fun fun fact about the Indianapolis airport. I once bought a tin of dip here.

I couldn't believe it.

I really wanted a tin of dip, and I found a store, and they sold me a tin of Skull.

And I was like, what the hell?

In an airport?

I was just taking my shot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that's always a soft spot in my heart.

We have a TSA security person coming up on our Louie that's left in the Marine Corps. Okay, let's go.
I just want to say for the record, that is one of the finer airport Chick-fil-A's that I've ever been to. Yes.
And right next to a nature's table so you can get your smoothie, feel good about yourself, have a Chick-fil-A, feel terrible about yourself, and their statements on homosexuals. Yep.
Didn't mean to go there. I mean, I just go there for the chicken.
Yeah. I just really like the chicken.
Okay, this is going to be interesting how we're going to navigate this with all these cords, but we're going to try to take the escalators here. Okay.
There are three escalators. We don't get stuck on this escalator like yeah portland trailblazers two that go down one that goes up and a stairs that goes up not down i think probably sometimes they reverse course on the middle one depending on the traffic flow so it's nice to have that option see like on the next one right across the way from us they've got two going up and just the one going down.
Oh, we just heard that the walkway is dynamite. Very excited to see the walkway now.
We've got to find our bags. This might actually be a problem because we are...
We have checked bags. I like that they really doll this place up for the combine, huh? Yeah.
All the flair. We've got a Christian McCaffrey pillar over there.

Oh, Lucas is coming home.

That's great.

Lucas is coming home.

Where's Lucas coming home from?

Where's Lucas coming home from?

Denver.

Nice. I thought you were going to say like Iraq or something, but he's just been in Denver for a while.

Welcome, Anastasia Beaverhausen.

Beaverhausen.

Let's go.

Is that a new arrival?

Yes.

Okay.

Talking babies, folks. There we go.
Okay. Will and Grace reference.
Let's go. Is that a new arrival? Yes.
Okay. Talking babies, folks.

There we go.

Okay.

Will and Grace reference.

Thanks, guys.

All right.

We're going this way, PFT.

My parents wouldn't let me watch that because we're too busy dining at Chick-fil-A.

I thought we were going to just get a fucking awesome military arrival.

Nah.

Lucas has just been chilling in Denver, getting fucking high as shit.

Who's the Beaverton?

Anastasia Beaverton?

I don't know.

I don't watch that show either.

There's new Flame?

Let's get the bags and we'll do the walkway and then we'll end it.

Liam can hang with the bags.

Do we know where we're going?

Are these the bags?

Oh, those are your bags.

These look like our bags.

All right, so how we're going to end this is we're going to do Let's see Let's check out the walkway Because that guy said the walkway was sick He said the walkway was sick The one wild card at some of these airports is How long it takes you to get into an Uber Yeah, well we're going We got to re-rent a car. Oh, we got the convertible?

No, we did not get a convertible.

You stay with the bags, Liam.

We'll just put in a place filler for people

who are watching on Barstool Gold.

Alright, let's go.

Let's walk. We'll finish the review.

You can leave your bag, PFT.

Yeah, we'll just leave them right here with Liam.

Liam, we're leaving all the bags with you.

Liam's going to have to take all the bags? No, we're coming back. We're going to literally do the walkway, then we're going to come back.
Okay, let's go do the walkway. All right.
We'll be right back. Hey, check this out.
Elite baggage. I wonder what passes for elite baggage.
I think this person is going to ask for a picture. Yeah.
Okay. We're literally watching your video right now.
Love it. What's up, man? What are you guys doing? What does elite baggage mean? I deliver luggage and whatnot.
Okay. Yeah.
I thought it was like really the stuff that off the books. I actually got some questions for Big Cat here about last night's loss, honestly.
The Wisconsin game? Yeah, that sucked. I don't really want to talk about it.
We don't have to rub in the losses. Double overtime, terrible loss.
You can't give wins to those losers down there as far as. Oh, you're a Purdue guy? Oh, yeah.
I'm watching him right now. That's started.
Actually, you're kind of messing me up. I'm watching him.
Okay. All right.
We'll see you. We'll leave you be.
Have a good one. The real unfortunate thing about people when they see Big Cat sometimes is they feel like they can come up to him and just make fun of all the losses that he has gambling.
Happens every time. Which is tough because you already lost once.
You don't need to have a guy remind you. Or a common thing will be, hey, big cat, what are you betting on? And then we have to sit there and I have to rattle through everything.
And it takes way too long. But all right, so we're going to finish the review by going on this walkway we've heard a lot about.
We really only heard it from one person. Walkway of legends.
All in all, PFT, I would say Indianapolis Airport is a delight. Very nice.
It's small small i wish that maybe it had one or two stores that were open that we could have checked out but overall i'd say like very very solid i i think the flight attendant may have oversold a little bit as calling it the number one airport in the country right um but so far i mean i'm i'm thinking like an eight oh let's got eyes on this walkway. Look at these lights.

Well, here's the thing, BFT. Now that we're actually doing this and we're going to start giving airport reviews to people, I think we...
Oh, Hank doesn't want to do this anymore. Hold on.
What's the matter, Hank? Chloe Breff. Chloe Breff.
Please come to your services. Chloe Breff.
If you're listening to this Chloe Breath. They're looking for you on Wednesday, February 27th around 9 p.m.
That's got to be a fake name. Okay, so I think when we do our next ones, we need to just have – there's got to be classes.
It's like MLB and AAA and AA. This is a – Ooh, whoa.
This guy was right. Right there.
That was the sound of all these lights turning on. When you get on the walkway here...
The lights follow you. The lights follow you.
This is simply incredible. It's like the piano from Big.
I can't believe that we didn't bring Bubble with us. Yeah.
He's going to really be big time FOMO. But either way, what I was going to say, PFT, is I think that we should have a situation where we have classes.

So this is a smaller airport.

Okay.

Let's get some of this footage right here.

This is what we're dealing with on the walkway.

This is a smaller airport.

Basically like a club.

I feel like I'm in Miami.

And then we'll do the big airport class.

Your LAXs, your O'Hairs, your Dallas-Fort Worth.

You hear that, folks?

That's saying going on. That's Indy.
That's a wide, wonderful world of Indy. Okay, so, yeah, I would call this like a mid-major.
Yeah, right. So as far as the mid-majors go, this is really good.
This is like a Dayton or a Davidson, maybe either in a Southern Illinois, possibly. One of those.
One of those schools. You know, they could make noise.
Yeah, they absolutely could. They're not going to probably win any tournaments.
I would even say that you could take a lady here for a night out on the town. You can.
This is a dateable airport. You don't need a ticket to get into the main area where you can both look at Indy cars.
They had a couple of those. The M-Word car? The M-Word car.
No, that was past the security. No, no.
Where the woman who was 90 years old said you can't. I will have to check the tape.
I believe it was inside. I guarantee you.
Hank, back me up. It was definitely inside the security.
Hank doesn't know. Hank is.
He absolutely knows. All sorts of perked up right now.
Once I saw that woman who was barely alive. Watch out on your right.
Oh, sorry. Hey, how are you? I'm fine.
Okay, she's fine. She was in a rush, so I wanted to double check to make sure she was okay.
You never know. So, yeah, what would you say? What are we doing for ranking skills? So I feel like if we're going to go by class, then it has to be weighted a little bit.
So the LAXs of the world, the giant ones, we'll put them on a scale of... How about we'll put them on a scale of...
Let's make this as confusing as possible. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
The LAXs will be like grade scales in school. So it'll be A through F.
This will be 1 through 10. Great.
So I'm going to give the Indy Airport a 7.3. Okay, which translates to a C.
C plus, C minus. C, C plus, C.
But we're saving those for the big boys. I'm going to give this scale 1 to 10, 8.8.
Wow, you really were impressed. Tell you what, I'm going to take off one little decimal point because I would have liked to hear more music on the moving walkway.
8.7. So that actually, that's a round number if you, if you aggregate is around number eight, I had a 7.3.
You had a 8.7. There you go.
We give you an eight. We actually did that on purpose because we're really bad at math.
We had to make sure we did that. Uh, all right.
So that will be our, that concludes our first airport review. And, uh, we're now in Indianapolis.
This is actually the end of the Fri-A show.

So we will see

everyone on Monday.

Love you guys.

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That's dollarshaveclub.com slash PMT. So now we have our new interview.
New interview. With Kerry Frazier, longtime NHL ref, had some great stories about working in the league for – how many years did he work in the NHL? 37.
37 years, Kerry Frazier. Made that up.
Probably the best hair of any guest that we've had in part. Easily.
In recent memory, yeah. Yeah.
Here he is, Kerry Frazier. Okay, we now welcome on Kerry Frazier.
He is an NHL referee legend. He reffed in the NHL for three decades, 12 Stanley Cup finals, four decades, 30 years.
But over the course of three decades, you're right, 12 Stanley Cup finals, over 261 playoff games. He has a book called The Final Call.
So thank you for joining us. Let's start at the top.
Let's start. How did you decide to become a ref? Well, I really fell out of the trees on it.
I was a good little player. I played junior A in Canada, in Ontario.
Wasn't drafted after my final season. The last player I played against in that season that played in the NHL was Mark Howe.
I had a decision to make undrafted. Do I play in the American League or the minor pro leagues? Do I take the multiple U.S.
Division I athletic scholarships? Eh, it wasn't happening. And so a friend of my dad, my dad played pro hockey.
He was like a goon playing in the IHL back in the day. And the former teammate of his that was coaching the Detroit Red Wings at the time said, listen, why don't you get into officiating? He said, the game needs guys like you.
You understand the game. You're a good skater.
You're a tough little guy. And you got courage.
So he gave me a brochure at a referee school. I went to the school end of September in 1972.
I got scouted there in the five days I was at it. Two days later, I was at the NHL training camp for officials.
They signed me to a contract and gave me a whistle and a rule book and a sweater and said, go to it. That quickly, huh? Yeah, that kind of gives you an indication how sometimes the fans think we suck, right? Yeah.
You're the natural. When you were coming up playing, how did you treat referees as a player? Great question.
I was very respectful. I was usually a captain or an alternate captain on the teams I played on, and we had some really great teams, AAA all-star teams.
We had five guys off our midget triple-A team go on and play in the NHL.

One guy, Wayne Merrick, won four Stanley Cups with the New York Islanders. But I was very respectful, and I understood the rules, and I understood that if you wanted to have a conversation with a referee, you had to be respectful.
So I kind of went into it with the right mentality from that side. The wrong side of the coin was that I was a fighter.
I used to fight. My dad taught me how to fight in the kitchen because he was a tough guy.
He was also a boxer beyond minor league professional hockey. So at about 13, 14 years of age, he said, you've got to defend yourself.
You're a little guy. You've got to play hard.
hard. You got to play tough.
You got to play tough. If the bone's not through the skin, don't come off the ice.
That's hockey tough. He was that guy.
Yeah. So he said, okay, I'm going to teach you to fight.
Put your hands up. I'm a left-hander.
So I went like this. Boom.
Slapped me in the head and knocked me down. He knocked me down so many times I kept getting back up until finally I could block his punches.
And that was it? And I was your guy. So wait, you were a fighter as a guy who's not that big.
Would you get into fights with a lot bigger guys? Oh, always. Everybody was bigger, but I always wanted to beat the big guy because once you beat their big guy and you're a little guy, you own them.
Yeah, that's pretty badass. So quick time oh for sure i gotta tell you about this one playing midget triple a we're in a tournament it's called the silver blade it's the aftermath of the silver stick which is a very famous uh tournament in canada and michigan uh and so we're in the championship game my dad's the coach coached me for three years in AAA midget.
He said, and there was this big guy, bigger than you,

and he was like.

That's pretty big.

That's huge.

He pointed to me, by the way, not PFT.

That's huge.

I thought it was with me.

No, no, no, no.

No, definitely not.

He's bigger than me, though, too.

He is very much bigger than you.

Okay, fair.

Okay.

And this guy was big, but he was also dirty.

Was he dirty?

Yeah, maybe.

A little.

Okay, so this guy was sticking our guys, and my dad, the coach, said,

boys, be disciplined, be disciplined, win the game, win the game.

So we're up 5-1, five minutes left in the game.

We got it in hand.

He tapped me on the shoulder.

He said, go teach that big guy a lesson.

I speed bagged this kid.

I could fight scared better than they could, Matt,

and I cut him over both eyes, destroyed him. old were you i was 15 at the time okay so now we get thrown out of the game this guy and i and he's so he's bleeding all over the ice and i get in the dressing room and i'm taking my gear off the guys come in we won the we won the championship game and i hear this ruckus out in the hallway, and it's my dad's voice.
But it's also a woman. He slips in the door, restroom room door, locks the door.
He came over to me, put his arm around me. He said, listen, Kerry.
He said, I'm really proud of the way you took care of that big kid. He said, you had no problem with him.
But I don't think you can take his mother. She's waiting outside for you.
I got to get you out of the dressing room because she's waiting. So there was a stick bag, and I'm 5'2 at that time, 3 maybe, and 115 pounds.
And he said, get in the stick bag. I got in the stick bag.
He zipped it up. He threw the bag over his shoulder.
And as all of my teammates were walking out, and this woman's looking at their faces, I'm in the stick bag on my dad's back. That's fantastic.
That's smart. That's smart.
You would have gotten your ass kicked. Absolutely.
No kidding. It's interesting.
So you just told a story about winning a fight, winning a championship game. As a player, now as a ref, it seems like the best you can hope for in a perfect game is just nobody notices you, right? Like you get to the dressing room afterwards.
You might shake the other guy's hand and be like, hey, we called a good game out there. But you don't really get the accolades that you do as a player.
For you, what made it so rewarding as an official? Making a positive difference. My objective in every game, because I love the game and I love the NHL, I love my employer, and I wanted to be the very best that I could be in every game to provide what the players deserved, what the game deserved, the game I loved, and my employers that paid me well.
So I felt that in your first statement that, you know, it's often said that the best referee game is the one where you don't notice the guy, but there are games that you have to be noticed. You have to step up.
You have to take control of the situation. And my objective in the game, aside from making a positive difference, was to feel the heartbeat.
Every game has a heartbeat, and it's a different game. So as it goes up, you've got to be able to just bring it down.
You want controlled bedlam. That's the most exciting game that fans can ever watch, right?

So I had to feel that pulse, that heartbeat.

And officials now in the playoffs are often being accused, as we were back then,

that old let them play, let the players decide the outcome.

As a matter of fact, I have one right here.

Let me see.

Oh, you brought the whistle.

Put your whistle in your pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All the whistle. That's it.
So the problem with that is once I let one go. Do you always carry a whistle around? Yeah, it has to.
Yeah, it's actually a rape whistle because, you know, out on the street here, it's tough. It's tough.
Yes. So personal safety.
but when you let that one go on your team, now human nature dictates, man, that was a little bit over the edge. Now I've got to let one go the other way.
And the other way is usually worse than the one you let go the first time. So that was actually one of my questions because we always, as fans, think that they owe us one.
Does that happen as an official where you basically, all right, I missed that one. Next time down, if it's a 50-50 call or whatever it may be, I'm going to make sure that it evens out here.
Well, if it's 50-50, yeah. You want to make sure that it is a legitimate foul.
It's a two-minute penalty. It's not a minute and 45 seconds worth.
Right. But that standard that we're talking about, the standard that maybe maybe started at the game a little rigid and then it gets relaxed and then all of a sudden it just goes down the toilet on you it's like a snowball rolling down the hill so what i described was letting one go this way that oh man i didn't want to call that uh now i let the other one go when it gets worse and then it gets worse it's the worst feeling that a referee can have in the pit of his stomach because you have where do you pull the brakes on where do you put the brakes on this thing and someone's gonna be mad when you do well because you say you missed the last three well it's going to be inconsistent right you know because you're looking for that perfect penalty that's not going to happen because you've already let three four five six go down the way it's brutal so now in today's game it might be a puck that goes over the glass it's an automatic penalty and all the refs will go we've got one right you don't want to be in that position you said two wrongs don't make a right or right that's that was my adage where you owe me one i've called a stinker of a penalty on more than one occasion where i i just wished i had had it back but i already reflexed and my arm went up and I called the penalty.
20,000 fans see it, a couple of million on TV know it. Can't take it back.
So the player would come and complain to me, and I would say, you know what, I think you're right. And then the automatic reaction would be, you owe us one.
My response to that is, listen, two wrongs don't make a right do me a favor kill this son of a gun right yeah okay get their buy-in on it right and i've always noticed it seems like a big thing with uh with referees if you make a call if you're not sure of it you act like you're a hundred percent sure of it so like you put the arm up right and if they if you start like pulling it down a little bit like you show that little bit of weakness, then they go after you. But if you act like, hey, I got this one right, even if in the back of your head, you're like, maybe not.
Well, that's called selling the call. Yeah.
And when I first started in the 70s, actually, the glass was low. So I'd be in a Philadelphia spectrum or something like that, and you might react too quick, and the arm starts to go up.
And what i would do is i'd reach for the glass it looks like you're hopping so the puck can go by yeah or it would be hair messed up and i'd go and i'd smooth it out yeah there you go that's when you weren't wearing a helmet right like yeah throughout most of my career they you know they made me in the last collective bargaining agreement i was part of yeah they forced because there were only two of us that didn't wear a helmet. Yeah.
So did you ever get hit real hard with a puck in the face? You know what's interesting is, and I had to wear the helmet and a visor in the Olympics in Nagano. International rules, we had to wear a helmet and visor.
But without a helmet on, I was cut three times in the face over 26 years in the NHL by deflected pucks. Two off a goalie stick, shot, process point, boom, deflected, got me in the face.
But when I put a helmet on, the very first game in the NHL, I was forced to wear a helmet. I got hit in the head five times with sticks in the corner.
Because you were like, I got a helmet on got a helmet on i'm fine well not even so much that it was the lack of respect that players had because when you craig mctavish last guy to not wear a helmet in the nhl we had the conversation and with wayne gretzky who wore that little jaffa and both of those guys said wayne wore light protection because it it created more awareness he felt interesting i felt the same way. I had like radar.
A puck could be coming at my head. I'd just do a little slip, go by.
It was a radar that you developed, kind of like the blind guy that gets that analogy. Yeah, right.
Okay, so I'm always curious about this with referees. Your relationship with certain players and how that affects how you call a game.
So I'm sure through your many, many years in the NHL, you become friends with guys. You talk to guys before the game.
You're a little more chummy. How does that – we're all humans.
So how does that impact how you call a game? And is it true that maybe someone who you're friendlier with will get the benefit of the doubt? I think that is part of human nature as well. But I will tell you that my objective was to develop professional relationships with all the players so that I could get them to play on my terms without having to be a jackass, without having to raise my arm and call the penalties.
I wanted the puck to be moving. There were personalities that just didn't mesh, and there were a couple.
Theo Fleury being one. Theo, I wanted to get to that.
We can just hop right to that. No, I can tell you about Knuckles and Island, Chris Knuckles and Island.
He was a Ranger for a bit, but he was a Montreal Canadian. 300 penalty minutes every year, and he'd get his 20 goals, but Knucks was like a tough guy.
Right. And I caught him.
I actually entrapped him in a game in the Boston Garden one time. Rick Middleton, nifty Middleton, great player, skilled, and he's on the opposite wing with Knuckles, and I thought, man, this is a bad matchup.
So as they were going to the net, they collided, they fell down, and the puck started to move out into the neutral zone. It's going the other way.
One referee on the ice. So I looked across the ice, and my eyes met Knuckles, and I could tell he was pissed off.
No question. He's going to do something stupid, guaranteed.
So I did a head fake. I turned like I was following the play up the other way, and all of a sudden I snapped my head back just as he butt-ended Middleton and knocked his front teeth out.
Up goes the arm. Ten-minute match penalty back then.
Yeah, that's fascinating, though, because that's you knowing the players. Exactly.
So I did my homework. I know what he's going to do.
So now we have to go to emergency hearing just before the playoffs in New York. Serge Savard is the general manager, Hockey Hall of Fame guy of the Montreal Canadiens.
I walk in the NHL boardroom and here's Knuckles sitting at the end of the table. He wants to kill me.
It felt like ice in there. Serge, the gentleman shakes hands, you know, Kerry, how you doing? Blah, blah, blah.
Brian O'Neill was the vice president in charge of discipline. He came in and read my report.
And he said to Chris, Chris, do you have anything to say for yourself? Now, Nux is a Boston kid, right? He said, yeah, Mr. O'Neill, I got something to say for myself.
He said, referee Fraser here, he calls more penalties on me than any other ref in the league. He's always picking on me, always watching me.
And just to prove my my point if he hadn't been watching what he should have been watching which was the play go up the other way he wouldn't have seen me butt in middleton in the mouth serge spit coffee on the uh on the table chris so he said chris did not mean to say that mr o'neill to admit to the crime to get caught sir well brian o'neill said chris there isn't a referee worth a pound of salt in this league if he didn't watch you every second you're on the ice would you like to see a replay and they both declined he got eight games back then that was huge yeah yeah yeah that's fantastic when it comes to instant replay how much does that like the the advent of it and having all these different camera angles on the ice affected the job of an nhl official what a fantastic question question. Thank you.
I had that too, but it is a great question. Well, yeah, you get your first out of the jar.
I got to tell you, I think it's the biggest problem that has created the inconsistency that we're seeing. I wanted to see everything on the ice as a one ref game.
I wanted to be in position to see it. First of all, you have to move your feet.
And I learned that watching Wayne Gretzky in 1980, where he had such vision of the ice. He knew not just where the puck was now or where players were.
He knew where there were going to be three, four, five chess moves down the board. And I analyzed that and came up with a system that worked and was adopted for USA

and Canadian hockey minor referees. Because if you're not in position, I'm a little guy.
I'm not going to see over you. I'm not going to see around you.
I've got to be ahead of the game. I've got to think the game.
And so with that sort of difficulty now, that they've infused this video replay that is such a safety net for guys. They rely on it too much.
A goal goes in the net and they're standing so deep in the corner, they don't even signal it. They might not even see it.
You've got to see everything and use the replay to verify that the official is right on. So you think gone that way so i i the question i was going to ask is a little different actually was is it undermining officials because i always wondered if you are on the ice and you know that they can go to replay and make you look like a fool it's gonna suck but you're saying it's actually the opposite where guys are saying, look, replay, we'll figure it out.

If I screw this up, we'll figure it out with replay so I don't have to pay attention the same way. Well, you know, even if it's subliminally, they know that they've got the backup there.
And the replay is done in a room in Toronto, you know, miles, thousands of miles away. Which is actually better than all the other sports.
Probably. In some ways.
Because you don't have to, the ref himself doesn't have to just, after skating up and down the ice all game, have to then go sit and watch a replay for 20 seconds and try to figure it out. Well, the problem is that they should have former referees sitting in that room to make the decision.
We had two really big-time mess-ups this year in the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Sharks and the Knights.
Golden Knights. I mean, poof, bang.
That was a guess, big guess for sure. Now, the hand pass that Jumbo Joe batted and Carlson put in the net in overtime to beat St.
Louis in that game. All eyes should typically, at least one set of eyes, but usually most eyes would be on the puck in that situation when it's that close to the net.
They missed it. Things do happen.
They missed it, but there's a reason why they missed it, and I broke that down for a major network in the U.S. because of their body position.
They were standing. They weren't reading the play.
They weren't moving to where they needed to go. But I said, if you want to fix that, and it's a referee's call, replay could not overturn that because in the rule book, it's a referee's call, hand pass, must be made by one of the four officials on the ice.
I said, let's utilize the fifth member of the crew, which is a backup referee that's assigned to every playoff game. He's a referee.
He's sitting in the referee's locker room with his gear on, except his skates, watching the monitor on TV. Let's utilize him and say, okay, guys, I got the headset on, buzz them down.
What did you see there? We need help, obviously. I got a a hand pass my call fifth the third referee on the crew that was assigned to that game as the backup he's going to make that call i like that interesting yeah is there one call in particular over your career that you look back on you're like that was my best call oh no i just the worst the one the one that's the worst is the one that you'll remember.
I mean, you're expected to make really good calls, make the right call, but the ones that haunt you are the ones that you missed, that you want back, that you wish you had back. Yeah.
So let's go down that road a little bit. Is it the Gretzky one? Is that what we're going to go with? Oh, absolutely.
93, missed call, Western Conference final, overtime, Wayne Gretzky, off the face off high stakes doug gilmore uh what's interesting about that situation is that none of the three of us had a bead on it saw it um i went to doug gilmore and i said killer what happened and he said well wayne uh took a shot and his you follow through hit me in the chin cut me i said Well, that's the case it's not a penalty that's the only caveat I guess you'd say that wouldn't be penalized right a follow through on a shot right normal follow through so he didn't even know but something just didn't smell right and the way Wayne usually was there appealing and you know his case he just was off to the side kind of hanging over, like slinking away.

Kind of knowing he did something. So that's when I called a team meeting and said, you know, with the two linesmen,

I said, guys, help me out.

I didn't see it.

And Ron Huck Finn at the blue lines.

What a name.

Huck.

Huck had the balls of an elephant.

Of course he did.

His name's Ron Huck Finn.

No, we got Knuckles. We got Nifty.
I'm just loving all these nicknames. Jesus.
What was your nickname? Fraser Sucks. All right, so Ron Huckfinn tells you? He came to me.
He said, Kerry, I couldn't help you out, man. He said, I was looking through their backs, which would be logical.
And then Kevin Collins, Beaver, we won't go there.

So he said, I don't know.

He was bent over.

He just dropped the puck.

And he said, I'm not sure.

And as soon as you hear I'm not sure,

there's no way that you're going to guess

because that's what happened with the Vegas Golden Knights.

There was a guess made by somebody in that crew. So when you hud up i always just assume the rest are like we're fucked like you just sit there you're like did anyone see it nope okay we're fucked let's pretend we're talking for another 30 seconds to make it seem official well you know am i am i far off you're pretty dang on but there's when the uh the new buildings came out with the big screens yeah sneak a peek, we'd have a guy position himself, and he'd be looking.
Yeah, so we have a – he's still working. He's a French guy, linesman.
And when he first came in the league, he was a little awkward with things. And there was a question as to whether the goal went in.
He said, oh, it definitely was a goal. I got that.
He said, well, how do you know? He said, because the whole section down there, they were all cheering and they jump and raise their hand and clap. That must be a goal.
No. That's not how it works.
No. So then we started putting a guy to maybe have a peek.
That's funny. Yeah, take a look upstairs.
That's great. That's great.
So we talked about swallowing the whistle. Yeah.
You said that it doesn't really happen like fans think it does, but you have to admit, like in the playoffs, there seems to be less penalties, and then in overtime in the playoffs, you guys won't call anything. Are you specifically saying that to the rest of your crew before the overtime starts?

Hey, it has to be a very egregious thing for us to make a call that could just decide the game. I think historically and traditionally there was that in the back of your mind, let the players decide the outcome of the game.
Right. And that was coming from broadcasters and coaches.
And so that pressure that was exerted on the referee in a one-referee game was huge. But you didn't want to compromise your integrity and the rules.
And so if it was a scoring opportunity, definitely you're going to raise your arm. But there was so much other stuff that went on that was allowed.
I had a game in the game three of the 1989 Stanley Cup final, Montreal Canadiens at home at the Forum against the Calgary Flames. My boss, John McCauley, who tragically died right after that 89 Cup, his boy Wes is the referee in the NHL now, probably one of the two top refs in the league, great kid.
But John said to me, listen, you've got to bring this series back. He said the first two games were ragged as hell out there, and he said you've got to lay the hammer down and grab them, bring them back for me.
I said okay. So that was my private instruction from the boss.
It wasn't let them go. It's get a hold of this series because we've got a long way to go yet.
So I laid the hammer down and called penalties in the first period. I had second period, a number of penalties.
Third period, I called a lot of coincidental minors because we got a tie game here. So now I'm managing the game.
So it's where I had the opportunity not to call one. I'd call one on each side, let them know I'm still here, be smart.
Now we go into overtime, and they just played. It was phenomenal.
One overtime period, no penalties, great play. Second overtime period, no penalties with the exception of the last two minutes and three seconds remaining.
And Mark Hunter, one of the Hunter brothers, is tracking Shane Corson. Corson's inside the blue line of the Montreal zone.
He is facing the boards. He shoots the puck, advances it into the neutral zone, and Hunter's tracking him and tracking him and tracking him.
And I'm saying to myself, Hunts, don't hit him, don't hit him, don't hit him. Boom.
Hits him right in the back of the numbers. Knocks his head into the boards at the bench.
I got to call it. Up goes my arm.
And just as Mark Hunter got out of the penalty box on the kill, Stéphane Richier scores the winning goal with three seconds left in the period. Now, who's the GOAT? Me, right? Everybody's mad at me.
Don Cherry, in the next game, I just about had a fight with him in the men's room. I expect that happens a lot.
Yeah, well, you know, and we got nose to nose, and he said, you got to let the players decide the outcome of the game. And I said, hey, listen, if I didn't call that obvious penalty, I might as well sit beside your fat ass in the studio and watch the game on TV.
Yeah. So that didn't go too well.
Yeah, because it goes the other way. If you don't call it, the fans the other team are the same way.
Where do you go from there? And the same thing in 93 with the Gretzky situation. I had put a Toronto Maple Leaf in the penalty box for trying to run a defenseman's head through the boards.
He got a boarding penalty. So Leafs are a man short, which even compounded the situation.
Yeah, when's player safety? That seems to be cut and dry, especially a boarding penalty from behind. It's like you have to call it.
Well, player safety. You can be mad about having a guy in the box in the third overtime of a playoff game, but if somebody's getting their face put into boards, it's like an open and shut case.
Now, there's some other stuff that takes place in the playoffs. The teams get chippy right, usually from the start of the series.
They like to set a tone. Every time there's a whistle, they get in each other's faces.
They commit what I assume would be penalties in the run of play. But since it's after the whistle and everybody's doing it, you can't call everybody for a penalty.
So in a situation like that, where do you draw the line between, okay, let's do just face-washing an opponent. That's okay.
And that was too aggressive. That was a punch.
You're going to take a seat for a while. Well, here's what I did in the playoffs.
I would get, and again, it's about feeling that temperature. Let's say we're having scrums after a stoppage.
You don't want that to continue because it gets ragged. I want the puck to keep moving.
I don't want players to be gathering and face washing or punching or the old scrum situation. So when I felt like I had enough, I would go to both coaches and I'd say, you know what? I'm getting embarrassed now.

Either you control your guys or I'm going to.

I like that.

And it might be your team that gets the one penalty.

I'm not calling doubles here.

It's going to be maybe your team or it'll be his team.

You take control of it or I will from here on.

I love that.

And I've heard coaches say, guys, you heard it? Sell down.

Doom, we're done.

Yeah.

Sean Avery.

Yeah.

I mean, he had to have been a referee nightmare.

I got along really well with Sean.

Really?

Yes, because he knew where I stood, and he knew how far he could go.

So after the dance in front of Marty Brodeur, okay?

The Sean Avery rule.

I've got the next.

They didn't need a Sean Avery rule. There was a rule there.
You could have given him a misconduct. You could have given him two for unsportsmanlike, a 10-minute misconduct for trying to incite the other guy.
I mean, you don't have to. The rule book is already like the phone book.
So next game, and Sean Avery had been read the riot act because he'd done a couple of stupid things previous to that that he shot his mouth off and he was suspended for. And he came to me.
He's all nervous. He said, listen, Kerry.
He said, I'm going to be really good tonight. I'm going to be fine.
I won't be a problem for you. I said, Sean.
I said, listen, you can be a very effective player. You know how to play.
And you know what I expect. If you cross my line, you know where you're going to end up.
This is the playoffs, man. Just go do your thing and know where I draw the line.
He went, whew. It was like a weight had been lifted off his back.
He had a target on his back after that because I remember that game, and everybody was like, what is this? This this is not hockey and it was like the larger hockey community almost they they got offended collectively out there like this you're ruining the game you know we talked about uh creating uh positive productive relationships yeah there's a guy that you could have just said you know what get away from me right you disgust me he's entitled to play the game just like every other player in the league. He's entitled to the same protection of the rules like every other player.
But if you can develop that relationship where in that conversation, Sean's temperature was brought down, he played that game, and he played effectively. He did what he had to do.
He played hard. He wasn't backing off.
And nobody should ever be told that they can't play a certain way. They know what the rules are for.
And, you know, back when we had one referee, there was a personality involved. And every referee seemed to have a little bit of a different flair, a different personality, or was more focused on calling certain things.
And the Philadelphia Flyers were the very first organization. And Mr.
Ed Snyder, God rest his soul, wonderful, wonderful, passionate owner of the Philadelphia Flyers. They were the first team under Freddie Shero that started to record which penalties referees called.
And they came up with, okay, boys, tonight it's Wally harris he calls this or it's van helman he calls that uh they knew what the flavor what were you you don't know just uh with me what would you what would you lean towards i would say uh that in uh anything flagrant aggressive uh like i didn't like the stick work. Obviously, trips are obvious.
I mean, slashes. But anything up around the head, that always bothered me.
I felt my number one job was protection of the players, enforcing the rules which are designed to protect the players and allow it to be fair. That's interesting, though, that they started to scout refs.

I'm sure that most teams do that now with advanced analytics and everything.

So you were talking about player relationships.

Sean Avery is one of them.

We alluded to it earlier.

Theo Fleury, he tried to fight you in the United Center parking lot.

So can you tell that story?

Because that's a fantastic story of what you treated the game

and how you were able to evolve with players and your relationship.

Well, in 1996 Stanley Cup playoffs, Calgary Flames, Theo Fleury,

great little player, gutsy, but obviously had issues that we now know about.

Molested by a famous hockey coach in Canada that went to prison and deserves never to get out as far as i'm concerned um but theo and i were like oil and water he he had disrespect and i think our size and our stature two short guys going at it two little chip on the shoulder you know junkyard dog kind of yeah two chihuahu, like, sharing a fence in the backyard. I've been there.
So this particular game, he'd had enough of me. I called three penalties against the Flames right off the bat, and he got the last one.
He blew up. He cursed and swore at me, challenged me in the most profane language.
Called you a shit bag. Effing shit bag asshole is really, if you want to be technically correct.
Shit bag doesn't adjust it good enough. No, it's effing.
And so he wanted me to come out into the parking lot after the game. He took his helmet off and threw it at me.
It hit my skate. Now human nature takes over.
Okay. I learned with a big argument with Wayne Gretzky in my very first season in 1980 that I needed to control my emotions, that I could flare up.
It could be instinctive. It just comes out and it was always aggressive.
So I had this process where I could relax my shoulders, take a big breath. This bucket is sitting at my foot, and my legs started quivering.
The muscles are twitching. The adrenaline's flowing.
I wanted to kick it back in his face. Miyagi, I went.
Threw him out of the game. Four years later, fast track, he signs a one-year deal with the New York Rangers free agent, $8 million, okay he was put in the league-imposed substance abuse program right off the bat.
So he missed the first part of the season. It's December 19th of 2000, four years after he challenged me in the parking lot at the United Center.
He came to me at the end of the first period, St. Louis Blues are playing Tyson Nash, second-year pro, you know, head flipping hair kind of like uh we see uh down the way here yeah and uh so theo came to me with tears in his eyes he said listen i'm trying to clean my life up honest i haven't done coke in this length of time i haven't had a drink blah blah blah he said i don't let him talk to me like that so i asked what who he told me now human nature might dictate you say you know what looks good on you yeah remember four years ago the parking lot yeah yeah effing shitbag asshole that sort of stuff i saw a wounded human being in front of me i wanted to take a bad situation to make it right so i said if i can get tyson nash here at the start of the next period, right between the two benches at Madison Square Garden on the red line, and I get a sincere apology for you, will you accept it like a man? He said, yeah.
I said, now if I get him here, promise you won't break a stick over his head. I said, I promise.
So I go right into the visiting coach's room. Joel Quenville is the coach, class guy.
I said, Joel, this is what Tyson Nash said to Theo. Joel rolled his eyes.
He said, do you want me to tell him to take his stuff off? He thought I was going to throw him out of the game. I said, no, how about an apology? I said, sure, it'd be good for Theo, and it might not even hurt your guy.
Great idea. And he ran into the player's locker room.
Now, I'm standing with Theo at the start of the next period at the red line. Out came the St.
Louis Blues. And Tyson looks like he wants to do a skate by.
He doesn't want to be here. I flag him over.
I said, have you got something to say to this man? His lip was quivering. He was affected.
He said, Theo, I'm really sorry, man. He said, I went way below the line, and I want to sincerely apologize, and I wish you all the best in what you've got ahead of you.
And he tapped him on the shin with a stick. I said, Theo, you good with that? He said, yeah, I'm good with that.
I said, boys, shake hands. Let's play.
And they did. I thought that was it.
It was nothing more than an apology. We can make a difference in this world.
And oftentimes we don't know that we did. This showed up 10 years later.
10 years later, 2010, I finished my final game. I'm sitting down to write the book.
Theo released his Playing With Fire book, which is terrific. Very dark, but terrific.
And in that, he wrote exactly what I put and quoted in my book. And I tried to make the situation better.
So I called Tyson Nash and I said, listen, Tyson, Kerry here, I'm writing a book. I need your permission to share a story with you and Theo and I.
Do you recall Madison Square Garden, December 19th of 2000? The phone went dead quiet, guys. It was like he said, Kerry, that was life-altering.
That was career-changing. I said, tell me about it.
And I put his own words, what that situation meant to him. And what's interesting is I go around and I do a couple of NHL team alumni fantasy camps.
And there's some regular guys that go to Mario's, they go to Gretz's, you know. And this one gentleman from Vancouver had been to a number of them, and he happened to see within three weeks, he saw me, Theo, and Tyson Nash.
And each one of us told that story from their perspective. That's fantastic.
Hank has been actually ducking an apology that he owes me

for like a year and a half.

Sorry can change the world.

Do you want to encourage Hank to apologize to us?

Hank, what'd you do, man?

I didn't do anything.

I correctly predicted Patriots won the Super Bowl.

And PFT has yet to apologize to me.

No, you got...

Ah, we have a dispute here.

No, Hank got very...

Break it up, boys.

Yeah, very contentious. Ah, we have a dispute.
Yeah, okay. I'm sorry that you misunderstand the situation.
Thank you. Go to the box.
You just apologize. I like that.
When you had to break up a fight, was there a specific thing you would look for to be like, all right, here's when I can break it up? Or did you get in maybe a few times too early and catch one? Number one, I'd look for the littlest guy. Okay.
Yeah. Smart, right? Hold him.
Oh, yeah. And I would see whether he hits left or right.
And I'd come in on the weak side. Okay.
But there was a, remember the Don Kuharski donut situation with Jimmy Schoenfeld in the playoffs? It was Eastern Conference Final, Boston Bruins, Terry O'Reilly coaching the Bruins, and Jim Schoenfeld was coaching the Jersey Devils. And I had Game 2 in Boston.
And Boston won the first game. Schoenfeld had the Devils coming out, and they were ripping right off the bat.
They were going to dominate physically. And Mo LeMay ran into Sean Burke, the goalie.
It was Sean's rookie year rookie year he was terrific and now we've got one fight start willie platt uh is fighting uh with a devil over in the one corner and john mcclain engages mo lamay out at the blue line and ron huck finn is the linesman that is trying to keep lamay and mLean apart. So I think I'm going to go in and help them out because they're not fighting yet.
And just as I go in there, and it's on YouTube, you can watch it, McLean comes over the top with a punch, gets me right between the eyes. Boom.
But not down goes Frazier. Yeah, there we go.
Frazier stayed on his feet, on his skates. And I just got really mad, and I started yanking and pulling and aggressive, and I yanked LeMay out of there and put them in the box.
I gave McLean. He got, let's see, 14 minutes in penalties, and LeMay got a couple more.
You must have the most hilarious Rolodex, mental Rolodex of names. Like every single story just has a billion names and how the hell do you remember them all? I've got a memory like a steel trap and I can remember plays.
Yeah. And you know, one of the funniest things that ever happened, I had two guys thank me for giving them penalties and really, and And one was Gretz, and that was in 1980, and he was being sarcastic.
He was pissed off, and he deserved to be because I wasn't very good that night. But the other guy was big Jim McKenzie, tough guy, 6'4", 235 pounds, a gentleman, though, just a true gentleman.
And in his second year of pro in the NHL for the Hartford Whalers, I had the last game of the regular season. It was Hartford playing in Washington and afternoon game.
Game's over. Nobody's mad.
And all the visiting team, the Whalers, went off at the Zamboni entrance, and then they walked by the referee's room. Stick boys, trainers, coaches, everybody off the ice except 6'4", Jim McKenzie, and little me.

Got off the ice on the rubber mat.

McKenzie looks down at me, said,

Kerry, if I told you to F off, would you give me misconduct?

I said, just like that?

Right.

Same reaction.

What are you talking about, Jim?

I said, the regular season's over.

Game's over.

Nobody's mad. He said, I got a bonus in my contract for penalty minutes.
I'm four pims short, and Coach Ricky Lee never played me one game or one shift. I said, what did you say? Very quiet, polite.
He said, F off. I yelled at him, say it like you mean it.
He said, F off. I said, you got 10.
He said, thank you. And he walked the address with him.
That's fantastic. Fuck off, sir.
Damn, that was awesome. Where's that line, though? Because I assume that during the course of a game, you hear all sorts of stuff, all sorts of trash talk.
So you can't penalize everybody that's just talking a little bit of shit back and forth. Where do you draw the line and say, okay, this is too much.
You're going to the bin. Well, you know what?

It's personal. When it becomes personal, I could have an FU contest with either of you guys.
And as long as we're not waving arms and you're embarrassing me in that regard, if it's just between us, I can take that. I'm not quick triggered.
If you call me coward, gutless, homer, you bought the farm. You bought the farm.
Because I'm none of that. I'm none of that.
I've given players and one coach the career ban. Ooh, what is that? Don't ever talk to me again.
If you ever talk to me again, I'm going to run you. Wow.
And they didn't? They never talked to you again? Well, I reinstated Alexander McGilney. You have a personal career ban.
You had a hearing for him? I just reinstated him. I said, okay, you're off the lifetime ban.
The coach was Mark Crawford. And did he ever get off or no? Oh, no.
I got him the next year. Actually, the game was a 95.
It was a shortened season when we had the player strike. So we're just come back, and we're getting ready for playoffs.
And Quebec Nordiques, Mark Crawford, rookie coach, Quebec Nordiques, they moved the next season to Denver, and they won the Cup. So in this year, 95, I had them the night before.
They lost 1-0 in Tampa. Tampa had a good team.
Now they go down, and they're getting beat by Florida Panthers that was like 20 points behind. They were out of it.
And Peter Forsberg was a rookie for Colorado at the time. He gets a penalty with three and change left, thereabouts, in the game.
It seals the deal for Florida. Crow wouldn't put his guys on the ice.
He wanted me to skate over and have a word with him. Now, once you put yourself in that position, you've got to eat Crow.
Pun intended. And I go over there, and he ripped me most profane, foul, vile, awful.
I'd never heard from a coach. And the veins are bulging.
The adrenaline's flicking. And I said, are you done? He said, yeah, I'm done.
I said, that's the most disgusting dialogue I've ever heard from a coach. And I said, there's not one guy on this bench, your players, that believe what you just said.
You could have got more penalties, but you and I are going to save that for another day. That was the old warning.
Yeah, yeah. I said, but for now, I need four players on the ice, and I need them now, please.

Game ends.

I am still, like, cooking in the dressing room.

I'm with Ray Scapponello, the little linesman, the Hall of Fame guy,

and Greg Dvorsky.

And I'm sitting by the door, because I always sat by the door.

I want to be the first line of defense.

Knock on the door.

I get up.

Here's Crow.

He's got his head down. He said, Kerry, can I have a word with you? I said, yeah, quick, come on in.
I said, have a beer. You want a beer? Grab a beer.
I said, what's up? He said, listen, I apologize. You're right.
He said, that was terrible. You didn't deserve it.
But he said, my team's been picked to win the cup, and we're going like this. Bad time of year.
And he said, I don't know what to do. I gave him some advice.
I said, Al Arbor, best team I ever saw was the four. It was a dynasty.
The Islanders. Islanders, four cups.
And the discipline came from behind the bench. If Al Arbor yelled at me, I knew I must have screwed up because he never yelled.
Only when there was something worth yelling about. I said, you, on the other hand, you never shut up.
I said, you got your players all upset. So he said, like, am I the worst? I said, I'll tell you what, ask the two linesmen.
They said, oh, yeah, you're the worst for sure. So that verified that.
I said, you know what? I accept your apology, though. I don't hold a grudge.
But I will tell you right here in front of these two fine linesmen to be my judge and witness, I said, if you ever open your mouth again and swear at me, this is going to be your one time warning throughout the rest of our career together. It's a career warning.
Would you accept it? He said, yeah, I accept it. We shook hands on it.
We had another beer over it. And next year, now they're in the same time of year just before the playoffs and they're at in anaheim claude lemieux is now playing for colorado and uh one of the defensemen uh i think was adam foot uh breaks a stick on a guy late in the game one goal game boom up goes the arm obvious and am 85 feet away, and I hear Crow's squeaky little voice.
Kerry, what the f***? That's all he got out. Boom, I T-boned him.
Now he's got a bench penalty. He just dropped his head, because he knew, right? Career warning, I told him.
So Claude Lemieux came to me, he says, Kerry, look at the score and the time just give us one penalty don't give us two penalties i said peppy you go tell crow florida he says florida what the f you talk about we're in anaheim i said you tell him florida he knows and he never opened his mouth again oh that's so i like a lifetime ban on people's so good. Well, this has been awesome.
Thank you so much. Hey, my pleasure.
We appreciate it. You guys are great.
Kerry Frazier, the final call. He's going to book out all these stories.
You know what's interesting? I think you're the most famous person named Kerry, according to the internet. Really? No, when you type in Kerry.
Kerry Underwood? No, that's different. K-E-R-R-Y.
I got you. Kerry Fra is the first one that pops up.
Interesting. Well, I mean, listen, I would have loved for you to ref anything I do because I feel like you got the great temperament for it.
Well, I have one question for you two guys. What is it like truly, and I mean this seriously, to be the number one in your genre? Well, you always have Paul Bissonnette calling you up and asking you for tips and advice.
He's nasty. I love him.
I love him. Yeah.
No, it's good. It's fun.
Yeah. It's fun.
Well, well-deserved, guys. Yeah, thank you.
We have a very, very good time doing our job. I can tell.
Thank you so much, Kerry. Appreciate it.
My pleasure. Okay, we're wrapping up the best of.
If you're still with us, thank you. It means you probably have to work and we feel bad for you.
Again, one last reminder, we'll be back on Sunday night to wrap, to recap college football playoffs and week 17. But let's finish up our best of with our best of us.
So we have some best of Monday readings. We have some best of boomers.

And we have some best of fantasy fuckboys.

Enjoy our narcissism.

Yeah, right.

Here it is.

So we're going to wrap up the best of the best of.

And we will see everyone on Monday for a brand new part of my take.

The last one of 2019.

Last one of the decade.

Last one of the decade.

Damn.

Love you guys.

We'll be right back. Last one of the decade.
Last one of the decade. Damn.
Love you guys. It's good to be back, Teej.
Behind a paywall boom, just like we always hoped. We start in Diarrhea, Chili Town, where the 49ers faced off against the NFL League leader in passing, Andy Dalton.
Huh? Joe, mixing the water, looks hungover Sunday, averaging 1.5 yards a rush. Was it Friday? Because Debo Samuel showed up and stole the show.
Jimmy Garoppolo feasted all over Cincinnati like it was a San Gennaro. Hey, Boom, who put all this spaghetti in my cinnamon and my chili? I think I got to the diarrhea.
When the moon hits your eye like a big spiral pie, that's a mall ring. George Skittle tasted the rainbow, and the 49ers looked like I did back in the 80s when a young schlam was at Candlestick Park watching the catch.
Oh, how time passes by. Niners 41, Bengals 17.
Dick, Dick, Dick. Song spread.
And mile high where Michael Vic Fangio turned the dogs loose on Mitch Stabitsky all afternoon long. As Drake famously said, is Flacco elite? I said only partly.
I only love the height and the spirals. I'm sorry.
And the Bears are left wondering, imagine if I never Mitch the Biscuits.

To quote the famous Eddie Pinheiro, his game-winning kick was God's plan.

God's plan.

Bears 16, Broncos 14.

In H-Town, where it was Gardner, it's raining men's shoe.

Hallelujah.

As the Jaguars had a ferocious fourth quarter comeback, and Doug Marone said, Utah, give me two, but couldn't get a point break. Jalen Mason Ramsey told Doug Marone, if you ain't got no giddy up, then giddy out my way as the two exchanged words on the sidelines.
What's that? Lil Nas X giddy? All the kids are saying boom? Houston's got all the horses in the back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back.

Texas 13 Jaguars 12. We start in Indianapolis where Zach

Pascal Siakam is a rising star in the

Colts offense and Jim Ursay is

drunkenly asking his fans, why

not Jacoby Brissett for the future of the

franchise? Don't pull the plug

on the Colts kicker yet as Adam

Vinatieri Schiavo

came back from the dead on Sunday.

The Falcons fall to 1-2

as Matt Ryan Dunn was unable

Thank you. The Colts kicker yet as Adam Vinatieri-Shivo came back from the dead on Sunday.
The Falcons fall to 1-2 as Matt Ryan Dunn was unable to complete his final drive. Too soon, boom.
Colts 27, Falcons 24. Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! They're outlining a new report.
They say it outlines the treatment of dolphins at the 3C World locations. They claim these dolphins are suffering under inhumane conditions and are forced to perform tricks that cause them injuries, and also that their living conditions are unacceptable.
We go to Foxborough where the Jets saw the Patriots and said, let's give them something to talk about. Talk about love, love, love.
Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. Hey, who let Trey Wingo in here? The weekend started with turmoil for the Patriots as Tom Brady kicked Antonio Brown out of his Marshall Newhouse faster than Bridget Moynihan after announcing she was pregnant.
I sit him high, sit him high, sit him high, and you sit him low, sit him low, sit him low. And as for Patriots, minus 21 gamblers, they got Stedham in the balls after Jared Stedham threw a late pick six.
The Patriots kept the train rolling. The lost Julian Edelman to a rib injury, which will now allow him to suck his own dick even more on his Instagram first draft.
Patriots 30, just 14. Whoop, whoop.
Standing on the corner, James Winston, Tampa, Florida. Such a fine sight to see.
He's driving that train, high on cocaine. Daniel Jones, you better watch your speed.
Come on, Matt Gay. Don't kick it that way.
The Giants stole a game like they were crab legs. Giants, 32.
Bmen the new york football giants the g-g-g-g men to the nation's capital where tom terrific came to smoking jay gruden's house for an easy w julian adelman was rolling in the deep secondary as josh gordon lightfoot made a wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald of the Redskins secondary. Tom Brady seamlessly ordered a touchdown as Ryan Lizzo made the Redskins defense 100% his bitch.
Patriots 33, Redskins 7. I don't know if that's how Ryan Lizzo does it.
I think it is. 100% his bitch.
In Cincinnati, where

D.D. Kanye Westbrook put on a

Sunday service. Even though Andy Dalton

stuck around for graduation at TCU,

it was the college dropout

Leonard Fournette, who had a great game.

Josh Lambeau, Gini Mercy

went 4-4 with his kicks. And you

know what the Midwest is? Dalton's reckless.

The Bengals rocked the Dunn chain. That's a heavy necklace.
And it's 808 and heartbreaks in Cincinnati. And again, Jaguars 27.
The Bengals 17. Some spread.
We start in Kansas City where the battle of the 2017 first rounders set the stage for a thrilling game. It was a supporting cast that took center stage when Carlos Hide Your Kids, Hide Your

Wife rumbled and bumbled and

his weight 116 yards

and a score and Tyrico

Bosco Hill scored twice as much

as Toledo did on Saturday.

Deshante Watson was always on time

with his receivers as the Clemson quarterback

Ja Rule this matchup and the

Texans are on fire fast

while the Chiefs are left willing to suck a dick for a healthy offensive lineman. Texans 31, Chiefs 24.
What? What? What? In the Big Easy, where Breeze are dying at an alarming rate as they're missing Teddy Bridgewater with claims that Drew is too waspy, even though he'll get a yellow jacket one day. Alvin Camaradona in the Saints offense was plugged up worse than a nose after a night at an Argentinian nightclub.
Dan Quinn Snyder has his defense jazzed up and ready to go in this big match, and his job is safe as there won't be a quitter on head coach this week. Falcon 26, the Saints, none.
Whoop! Whoop! Out in western New York, the Kiko Alonso blowjob bowl as the Eagles and Bills square up. Carson Wednesday got over the hump as Drake and Josh Allen said, Hug me, brother! After a tough loss for the Bills, Miles Sanders, I have a feeling, TJ, and I screwed that up because I never watched the show.
And all the young guys in the studio are laughing at this old boom. You're schwam.
Miles Sanders was running faster than Sonic, chasing rings while the Buffalo secondary tailed him into the end zone. Debbie does Dallas Goddard took on six football players at once to score.
And Alshon Jeffrey Epstein isn't going to leave you hanging Eagles fans as Philadelphia's season was saved in Buffalo. Eagles 31, Bills 13.
In Indianapolis, where Eric Ebron James, not trying to get into a sentence battle, treated the Houston secondary like a bunch of Daryl Moreys. Frank, I want to ride my bicycle.
I want to ride my Reich. Has the wheels in motion for an AFC Southpout after a big day for Miss Colts.
The Texans had no answer for Indy's rushing game. As Bill O'Brien said, I like big butt-chins, but I cannot lie.
Baby We'll be right back. Francisco answer with, say hello to my kiddo friend, as the Pro Bowl tight end sealed the victory, running like a cockroach, refusing to die.
Sean Payton spent all week preparing for Jimmy Eaton, World Garoppolo, by telling his quarterback Drew Brees, it's just pay some time, everything, everything will be just fine, but everything might not be so fine, now that the Saints don't get the playoffs at Dome Sweet Dome.

49ers 48, Saints 46.

What? What?

Some score.

In Dallas, where stocks are up for Aaron Dow Jones,

Amari Alexandra Cooper told the Packers defense, told me daddy, as he gobbled up yards like a voodoo clam

and sucked and fucked his way to 226 yards.

Aaron Rodgers said to Danica Dactress,

we may like each other,

but don't think you're getting a ring on my watch.

Up in the box, Jerry Jones invited George Bush,

but the Packers said put down that W

and hold this L.

DeGeneres.

Packers 34.

Cowboys 24.

To the Meow-to-lands for the catpole at Pet Life Stadium.

This is a feline town. No room for Saquon Bark, Bark, Barkley.
Sam Darnold Schwarzenegger said, I'll be bach, bach, bach, bach, bach, bach. As he looked at the New York receiving core and said, Armani isn't walking through that door.
It's not a toolbox. The Jakes Giants head coach Pat Shermanator

to take serious heat on his seat.

And we're not talking about a Mike Frances.

I got caught in between a Boomer and a Schwarzenegger.

We're not talking about a Mike Frances.

That's an office chair fault, folks.

Speaking of hot seats,

the Jets coach, Adam Gasolina,

temporarily put out to fire.

Jets 34-27.

Nailed it.

Boom.

What's up, boys?

What up?

It's Gio Gorgonzola.

It's Mario Magazo.

Carmine Falcone.

Brandon fucking Bowling.

Yo, Brandon.

What's up?

Oh, fuck.

I didn't even do a fucking name.

Oh, fuck. What up, boys? It's Shule Santorini.
What's up, fuck I didn't even do a fucking name Oh fuck What up boys it's Shulay Santorini What's up fuckheads this is Bowser Dogs Hello my name is Bernard Sanders What's up my name is Johnny Soterino What's up fuckheads it's Mike Tirico Yo what's up this is I'm Eli the Cat Oh what's up Eli Fucking pussy ass bitch fuck you I'ma piss all over your house Hank Alright what's up guys it's Randy Ravioli What's up, Eli? Fucking pussy-ass bitch. Fuck you.
I'm going to piss all over your house, Hank.

All right, what's up, guys?

It's Randy Ravioli.

What's up, Randy?

Lorenzo Linguini.

Tommy Tortellini.

Mac.

Aroni.

Frankie Fettuccini.

My stardom this weekend.

That's fine.

I don't give a fuck.

My stardom is your engines.

Because it's Fantasy Fuck Boys season, and I'm fucking ready to roll.

Wait, your stardom is this? Your engines. your engines started cause it's fantasy fuckboys time my stardom this week is marble raising hell yeah better than the ponies hell yeah I'm starting fat bears I'm talking big old bears they're eating seven kinds of fish like it's Christmas time up in the Alaska.
They're getting fat as fuck. Holy Toledo.
They're so big and hairy, I thought it was my ex-wife. Oh, got them.
And my stodom this week, PFD already said it. Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes, these guys, fuck.
These guys are going to throw it up and down the field. I couldn't imagine ever not taking these guys in the 2017 draft.
I'm not upset about it. You're totally not hanging on there.
I'm here to tell you this weekend I'm starting money. That's right.
All the sticky green cash, all the cash money, all the change in my pocket. You know what you can use money to buy.
That's right. Soup because it's soup season.
Tax return season, bitches. I'm talking chili.
Chili's a soup. Chili's a soup.
I'm talking chowder, bisque, you name it. Wedding soup, broccoli cheddar, baked potato, I could go on and on and on.
My stardom is candy corn. People think it's just a fucking Halloween festival season, but it's delicious year round.
Don't let the haters shame you into not liking and buying candy corn. It's delicious.
That's right, Mario. Give you some plumber's butt.
Clog you right up. 365 a year.
Get it, Mario. I'm starting survival pools this weekend.
Thousands and thousands of dollars from donations. No bigger than $20 each.
If you're still in your pool, stay the course. We're taking teams that are playing the Dolphins.
Take the Jets. My beloved New York Jets.
Don't overthink it. I'm from Brooklyn.
I'm sitting. Stick to sports.
Stick to sports. This weekend, my stardom is CBS music.
Get ready for Saturday afternoon. I'm so excited for the big game.
Gonna watch that music and hope Vern Lundquist is somewhere. Having a great time.
I miss you, Vern. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you, little fat, little cheeks, honky Vern.
My stardom this week is Austin Rivers. He got teed up.
Or no, he told his dad to get teed up. He said, fuck his dad.
Fuck your mother. Get teed up.
He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care that his dad's sperm is the reason he exists.
He said, fuck him. He's stardom.
That's right. Let's go.
Anopus Rex style. My stardom is Zlatan.
He retired from the galaxy or he left the galaxy. I don't fucking know, but all he said was, you're welcome.

You're welcome.

That's my boy.

That's how you leave and that's talking football.

Amen, Enzo.

My sit-em is Silva.

It was a terrible week for Silva financially.

It's now only worth $17.60 per ounce.

That's down three cents from last week.

Franky Finance.

Shit.

That sucks.

I'm sitting methamphetamines.

That's right.

I feel the need for speed.

The need for speed. But I'm going to get my bank a crank from my TV this weekend on Netflix.

Because Breaking Bad is coming out with a movie.

It's time to meth flicks and pill.

Not Netflix and jail.

Breaking Bad.

Check it out.

My sit-em is Purdue.

Purdue.

No fun Purdue.

I try not to make fun of Purdue. but they fan gambling on Purdue at Purdue.

Come on, Purdue.

That's Purdue-doo.

My sit-em is gray hairs.

LeBron's beard went gray.

All the China situation's stressing him out.

He's getting old.

He's looking bad.

He needs a tie job quick.

You know, gray hair, shame.

That's fine.

It's fine.

I'm pretty.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio.

Gio. Gio.
Gio. Gio.
Gio. Gio.
Gio. I'm sitting doing nice things for your mother.
That's right, because it's going to backfire on her. You try to do something nice for her birthday, set her up with some nice tickets to a good baseball game, send her to the playoffs.
Next thing you know, the internet's talking about some random guy fucking her. My sit-em is Space Jam 2.
If you watch Space Jam 2, you support China and all they're doing and the bad stuff and we already disavowed that shit. LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China because he wants to sell his stupid movie Space Jam 2.
Space Jam 1's better. MJ's better than LeBron.
Great beard, old fuck. My cousin sells him on bootlegs on the corner, though, if you want to see it before it comes out.
However, my sit-em is Halloween. That shit's over.
Put it in the rear view. That is a fucking October thing.
It's November. Stop worrying about getting dressed up and focus on the real world.
We're back in no-nut November, boys. Get it.
Keep those balls high and dry. Get it.
May I finish, please? I am sitting the Washington Redskins insurance program. I'm sitting the medical staff.
We will not stand for that. And in my policy, every American will have their own blue medical tent provided to them.
In their backyard, we will screen for tumors on heads. Do not worry about it.
We have you covered. My sit-em load management.
They sacked Kawhi the other night. ESPN's mad.
Load management is sitting. That's all I got.
I don't manage my loads. I bust them all day, every day.
Hey, good. It's no video.
You got to load manage. My sit-em is crimson tide.
I prefer my tides to be high or low, not fucking red. Certainly not in relation to an elephant.
What about Tide Pods? Go fucking targets. You look like some little ravioli.

I'm sitting Tide Gurley.

That frog motherfucker.

He's not a cat owner.

He thinks he's a cat owner.

He's a cat agent is what he is.

You ain't a cat fan

until you have to

pick my shit up

with your bare hands

and throw it out.

My sleeper's laser pointers.

Laser pointers?

Laser pointers.

Always a great time.

Not just for snipers anymore.

I love fucking playing

with a laser pointer.

I'll stalk that bitch like a

pouncy brother you never heard of before.

Is that it? That's it. That's my sleeper.

Also, I'm going to take it.

My sleeper is actually catnapping.

My sit-em is Paul

Bissonette. I beat him

up once. I'll beat him up again.
He's chirping

my boy Hank on Twitter. Fuck him.

I was wondering if you knew who Brandon Bullock was. so good that you do.
Seven fishes. Thanksgiving.
I'm impressed you did know who Brandon Bullock was. I was like, what are you doing? No, I didn't.
I literally just searched Paul Buz in that fight. Oh, yeah.
I should have said Ryan Reeves, though, because he was the one. He dummied him.
What's up with Buz? He's just chirping you? We put up a picture on PMT that was like from picture day, and he was like, great picture minus Hank. And then he came in with a chirp about my suit two weeks later with the least unoriginal chirp of all time.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I expected something more clever out of Paul Bissonnette than just great picture minus Hank. I mean, he's an all-time chirper, right? He's a locker room guy.
He keeps the boys loose. You'd think that he'd be able to do that.
You'll have to have him on the show to discuss this very disappointing development here. I don't have to catch these hands.
My sleeper is candles. It's candle season.
Like that candle. Don't go outside.
Just light a candle. Give yourself a little ambiance.
Matching. Yeah.
Like that 330 SEC game. Hit that candle.
Feels like fall. That's right, like that John Wick.
My sleeper is melatonin. I'm sleeping melatonin, it's over the couch, it's a bottle.
Stay away from Big Pharma. We're sleeping with melatonin this weekend.
Gives you great dreams, wake up feeling 100%, gets rid of heart attacks. Fuck you, Bernie.
Feel the burn. My sleeper is Mike Golick.
Mike Golick will give you a butt massage that will put you to sleep. He gave a butt massage live on air today.
Holy shit, that guy gave a butt massage. PHFT probably wants one of them.
Stugatz ain't got an ass like this guy. Stugatz, fancy fuck boys.
And my sleeper is leaving beers outside to get naturally refrigerated.

Hell yeah.

It's as primal as it gets and it saves you a few bucks for beers.

Outside beer.

Outside beer is the best.

You ever drink a bush camo beer and you pull out the snow talk to your bro?

Yeah, I used to buy 30 packs just to get the orange one.

Fuck yes.

My sleeper is Dan Quinn.

He's not fired.

Weird.

Weird.

That's fucked up.

Really fucking weird. My sleeper is Lions.
Not Not Matty P Even though he's pretty good But actual Lions There was a protest in Iraq And they took They had The police had dogs Tell me about geopolitical situations Fucking Lions I don't know about the geopolitics of it But having Lions to go against dogs Is fucking gangster RIP Cecil My man, my man. That's my sleeper.
No Nut November. Remember, boys, if you're listening to this, no more nuts.
You gotta nut when you're in December. Don't you fucking nut.
Just let that fucking masculinity and machismo build up and boil up in your brain. Wet dream season.
Yeah. If you're not nutting your parents, your childhood bed, when you're going back for Thanksgiving

break, you're doing No Nut November incorrect.

I'm going to fuck so many chicks in my sleep.

That's No Nut November.

What a fucking weird thing.

I move that we switch it to Lodcember.

We just nut as much as possible.

Okay.

I like that.

I like that.

My, uh, she's 25, boyfriend, he's 27, of two years, is obsessed with Dave and Busters.

Fair.

So far, I don't see a problem.

I really like that. My she's 25 boyfriend.
He's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Buster's.

Fair.

So far, I don't see a problem.

I really don't know where to start with this, and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wits end dealing with my boyfriend.

Some context.

We have been together for two years, and he is overall fantastic.

Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible.

For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them that's a try hard move uh he'll comfort me after a tough day at work i work at a call center and get some crazy ones for the most part he is also very respectful of me this sounds like a great relationship pft we were both raised catholic and he's very active in the church and an overall stand-up guy which i admire a lot literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave and Buster's. I'd say that he's the total package.
He's the total package. I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him.
I guess I'll just get to the bad part. My boyfriend absolutely must go to Dave and Buster's once a week or else he throws a tantrum.
I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum. We are talking crying, stomping, etc.
It's bad. That's, again, Dave and Buster's is awesome.
Yeah. So this is a little crazy.
None of this behavior is abnormal to me. He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to, quote, go to Buster's.
Why are you leaving Dave out of it, though? I admire the fact that he's shorted it, that he's got his own pet name for Dave and Buster's. Basically, you're in a relationship with three guys right now, your boyfriend, Buster, and Dave.
And if it's been more than a a week he'll say we haven't been in quote forever i love this guy i want to be best friends with this guy this guy has given off major like i grew up in like some weird cult-like environment vibes right you can't put all these prizes yeah and dave and buster's was intramural champion yeah i like this i like this first electricity, and so he just fell in love with it. Yeah.
Scratch MJ's competitiveness. This guy's competitiveness.
I've tried talking it through with him. I've suggested other restaurants, even other barcades, but it has to be Dave and Buster's.
It's not the same. It is not the same.
They don't have the same burgers. They don't have the Power Play card.
They don't have the Million Dollar Midway. There's so many things.
Yes. So many games.
Like, take me to a Chuck E. Cheese, and I will throw a fucking fit.
Also, new barcades, they always do, like, the hipster throwback games. Like, oh, we have the Simpsons game.
Don't you love it? Nostalgia. Dave & Buster's has everything.
They have the hits. They have the old stuff.
They have the good news stuff. You got to go to Dave & Buster's.
Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes. Because, like, there's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of Big Buck Hunter.
then and then it's and you select your game they give you zombies shout out anyone who still has cruising usa uh when i tell him i don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone he says something like what do you mean you love busters i give you all the prizes this guy's giving away the prizes it's not even about the material things It's about the process that he really loves That's more than just a stuffed animal That's more than the bouncy ball The crazy bouncy balls Yeah, it's more than the weird jelly hand things That you can slap and stick on people Those are only available Like being redeemed for tickets You can't buy those on a normal market You think think you should buy Beanie Babies, knock off Beanie Babies these days? Hell no. Key chains? Yeah, you better believe he's got key chains.
When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him. Now, you are a good girlfriend.
And he makes me follow him around to each game to play together. That's it.
Oh, wait. No, no.
I pressed him about it, and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at D&B's and considers it, quote, the single best day of his life. You know, holy shit.
I love this fucking guy. This guy's Jim Harbaugh.
Yeah, he might be. I won so much.
This is absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do. Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying, I just want to do that again.
That specific thing. And you know what? The more I think about it, planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool video games and sports, that's exactly what we do with football yeah and it's it's also what's the alternative going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic i'd go to dave and busters you know what's depressing is driving past the dave and busters and not going yeah be like man i really wish i'd go in everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into dave and busters going into busters yeah uh Buster's.
Yeah. How do I help him move past this? I really want to keep dating this man.
I know nostalgia can be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable. Please help.
Too long. Didn't read.
My boyfriend is obsessed with D&Bs and won't accept not going there at least once a week. We have a great relationship.
Other than that, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't see any problem with this.
No. You need to just...
You're dating the coolest guy on the planet.

Yes.

The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Buster's than him.

Yeah.

That's the only way.

You cannot tell him not to go to Buster's.

You cannot tell him, hey, let's skip a week because then he'll say, we haven't been there in forever.

You can't have him go solo.

The only solution if you really don't want to go to Buster's is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game.

That's exactly right that's it you have to win more tickets than in one time yes that's really it and he will never go again he'll never go again yeah or just like what if they go on a vacation they probably can't go on a vacation i think they probably go to vacations around david buster only in cities that have david busters in them like you can't go. They've been to Tampa many times.
Yeah, geez. There's one on every block.
It's like Starbucks in Tampa. Oh, man.
Alright, that's our Monday reading. Shout out that guy.
If someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Dave and Buster's with him.
Yes. In New York.
We will fly you out. I love anybody that's that passionate about any weird weird small things yes i just find them fascinating someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like i need to go to busters because the best day of my life quote the single best day of his life i mean the staff at that david busters definitely knows he's a regular he's the only one that walks into david busters and says i'll have the usual and honestly there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar no you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name you show up and everyone's like hey here he comes he probably changed his name to dave and buster maybe maybe dave buster all right hank decide what you want us to do for our monday reading uh here are the two headlines the first is why straight men are joining masturbation cult clubs.
You can say cult. I think it's safe to say that's a cult.
The second is my month inside a group of people who drink their own piss. I mean, we're going to do the other one next week, so just pick.
Oh, wait, Big Cat? Yeah.

Jose Canseco tweeted,

At J-Lo, if you want the truth about Alex Rodriguez, call me and gave his phone number.

Do we want to call him?

Yeah, call him.

Let's give him a call.

Fuck this guy.

He's probably, everyone's calling him right now.

Yeah.

Do star 69 so he can't call you back.

In honor of Mr. Kraft, I think we should do the masturbation cult.

Wait, where's this tweet?

Hold on, let's call him. Well, it was a direct at to J-Lo, so it doesn't pop up.
Yeah, it was very private. I'm calling right now.
Fuck this guy. Okay, let's see.
Star 69. Does Star 69 still work? Yeah, I think so.
Welcome to Verizon Wireless. Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
Yeah, it's fake. Damn, it's fake.
He got me. It's a good thing you blocked your number Otherwise, that would have been very bad.
All right. So we're going to do, what did you say, Hank? Masturbation club.
Okay. Why straight men are joining masturbation clubs.
All right. So it starts with- Citation needed.
It's long, so we're going to skip around here. When Brandon was in his early 20s and studying abroad, he went on a trip to Israel with his friends to hike in the Judean caves.
At a certain point, they reached a part of the cave that was pitch black. It didn't take long for someone to suggest we all jerk off in the darkness.
Brandon, now 35, says, and so we did. Isn't that Skull and Bones? Isn't that like the initiation? Yeah, you now can be a president of the United States.
Yeah, it's fun to imagine that John Kerry and George Bush probably jerked off in the same room at the same time. Yes, absolutely.
100% did. After they finished, they zipped themselves up and proceeded to continue meandering through the caves as if nothing happened.
They never spoke of it again. Brandon self-identifies as straight.
That's a great use of words there. Self-identifies.
So other people might not identify. You got to make sure you cover all your bases when using tags like that.
He had never masturbated in front of another man, let alone a group of other men, before in his life. Yet he says in retrospect, the weirdest thing about the incident was how not weird it seemed at the time.
Yeah, it's kind of strange how that thought just came to him where he was like, obviously let's jerk off in this cave together. Yes, exactly.
So essentially they explain like there's a whole history behind it. We know it's, this is a doctor who wrote a book.
He says, we know it's common for teenage boys to masturbate together or to instruct one another on how to do it, says Dr. Jane Ward, author of the 2015 Not Gay, Sex Between Straight White Men.
What a book. What a book.
Wait, the title's called Not Gay? The title is Not Gay Sex Between Straight White Men. No homo.
Let's jerk off in this cave together. Shout out Roy Hibbert.
And she coined the viral term bro jobs to describe straight men having sex with each other. Okay.
Word cites a 1981 report on male sexuality by sex. See, this is like, when they go into, like, doctors talking about male sexuality sexologists, share height, which suggested that nearly 20% of men had engaged in group masturbation during adolescence.
Well, here's the deal. Yeah, that's called pledging, dude.
Guys are just horny. I don't think it necessarily means anything.
I think it's just sometimes guys, we got a nut. Yeah, true.
If that's in a cave, so be it. I'll make a stalactite out of my sperm.
Okay, so we're jumping ahead here. In Seattle, for instance, there's the Rain City Jacks, a jack-off club for men who wish to, per the website, Jack off openly and safely in a uniquely sex positive, non-discriminating and mutually respectful community.
Hey, we're sex positive. Do you think they have jackets? Well, this feels like a leather jacket club, like a motorcycle gang where you've got the patch on the back, the Rain City Jacks.
Every Sunday and Tuesday, the Rain City Jacks meet in an erotic art gallery in Seattle. The furniture is covered in canvas.
I feel like you'd want to do plastic. Yeah, you want to make that look like a kill room in Dexter.
Okay. And volunteers hand out small plastic cups of lube to guests.
Oh, please note, they try to be environmentally responsible. People want their own clean lube.
Wait, yeah, no, the big question is, are the cups, are they recyclable? big it's an important question the lights are dim slightly and soft music plays while the men gather either alone or in small clusters and proceed to jerk off all the while keeping conversation to a minimum to ensure everyone stays in the moment should we go do this for barstool gold yeah this is the cult that we're going to join this is i didn't know this was a thing but it seems like it is it seems like this is definitely a thing that people are doing now how many people did say are in the rain city jacks uh i didn't give an exact number okay i'm gonna look up i'm going incognito mode looking up rain city jacks just to see if this is a real thing or something that somebody made up as a prank in recent years jack off clubs-off clubs have catered to an increasingly diverse, younger, and more

sexually open clientele.

The younger the guys are, the more open they are, says Steve.

The younger generation is so comfortable with gay people, they'll play with another guy

even though they prefer women.

Okay, I should not have gone to this website.

Yeah, that was a bad Google search.

I was just making sure it was real.

So, essentially, there's just like, this is kind of like the jerk-off crystals that Danica Patrick told us about. Yeah.
He's really into that. Listen, I don't want to knock anybody's hobby because I'm sure some of the things, I'm sure watching football every Sunday.
We basically are in a jack off club without jack off. Yeah.
We jack off our brains and eyes to playing fantasy football.

Fantasy football is a jack-off club.

You're absolutely right.

It's just fantasy football players don't have the balls to just reach down and crank it in front of their bros.

This is, yeah, I mean, this is, listen, if you want to be in a jack-off club,

everyone just wants to be a part of something.

That's just human nature, right?

Do you think they shake hands after they're all done?

I feel like the secret handshake has to happen before. Yeah, I think the handshake goes on throughout.
It's just a handshake club. The secret handshake is just jerking yourself.
That's the secret handshake. It's just a handshake club, but you're just handshaking dicks.
Yeah, your own dick. That's how you can internalize it if you prefer women over men.
Right. It's essentially like a frat, as you said, but the secret handshake is just cranking yourself off to completion.
Yeah. On its surface, the idea that a man might masturbate in front of other men as an assertion of heterosexuality might sound strange.
But in truth, Ward points out, there's not much of a distinction between the communal experience of a jack-off club and, say, going to a strip club and getting a lap dance at the same time as your friend. Actually, not a terrible point.
or having sex in the same room as your male roommate during college. Okay? That's a threesome, right? That counts.
Yes, presumably there are women present in those scenarios, but the result, communal arousal, is the same. While both those experiences are not uncommon for men in their teens and 20s, they're staunchly homoerotic nonetheless.
And it's also worth noting that there isn't quite an equivalent for young women. The norms of collective arousal for men are very different than they are for women.
Ward says it's just common for men's sexuality to express itself in a public way. Just guys being dudes.
That was essentially just explained that guys love to be dudes. It's just kid stuff.
He just needs a release. That's fine.
How long do you think these meetings last? Because I would imagine that if it's just a bunch of horny dudes, it's probably in and out in five to ten minutes. Do you think there's anyone in the club who's like, yeah, that guy, he leaves way too quick.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Probably.
Probably. Like, just embarrasses himself.
Go on, Rick. Yeah, Rick.
That was off the top of my head. That'd be a tough look for Rick.
Yeah. Do you think these parties are catered? I would assume so.
There's got to be an open bar, right? Yeah. You can't just go in and start cranking off sober.
When you say catered, you think open bar. I was thinking of little sandwich food.
You're thinking of corn dog bites or pigs in a blanket. Yeah, pigs in a blanket at the Jerk Off Club.
Just goes along with the Jerk Off Club. Pigs in a blanket dipped in aioli.
That works for me. So yeah, this is a new trend.
Again, sex positive. I didn't think this was something we'd be reading, but Hank wanted to read it.
So we've done it. Good job.
Good job, Hank. Yeah.
All right. That's our show.
Hank, are you going to stick around this week? Yeah. All right.
It's good to have you back, Hank. It's great to have you back.
We missed you on the show. Thanks.
And I'm very excited for LeBron Lockwood and what's going to come out. Love you guys.
I took a pill in a drink to get away. I don't know what I'm about to say.
I'll say it anyway. Today is an update to find you.
Shine it away. I'll be coming for your love again.
Shine it away. I'll be coming for your love again.
You don't want to be hard like me. Never let you know my body.
I'm going to be a little bit Okay. Thank you.
I'm talking away I don't say so I'll say it anyway I don't say so I'm talking away I don't care. I don't care.
I don't care. I don't care.
I don't care. I don't care.
I don't care. I don't care.

I don sad so. I've been talking away.
I know I'm sad so. I've been talking away.
I'm just needless to say. I've to say it's five feet stumbling away.

Slowly learning that life is okay.

Say after me.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

Say after me.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

I don't want to be high.

I don't want to be high.

I don't want to be high.

I don't want to be high.

I don't want to be high.

I don't want to be high. I don't want to be high.
I don't want to be high. I don't want to be high.
Thank you. I love you.