Best of 2019 (featuring Gary Busey, Zac Efron, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Patrick Mahomes & more)

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Speaker 16 On today's part in my take, best of 2019.

Speaker 21 We say goodbye to the year that was with with a bunch of interviews, a new interview, a little week 17 preview for everyone who's sitting at work right now.

Speaker 18 But we have our best moments, our favorite interviews, our favorite stories from our favorite guests all in this episode.

Speaker 21 It is a jam-packed episode to get you through that holiday lull between Christmas and New Year's.

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Speaker 57 Welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app.

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Speaker 8 Today is Thursday, December 26th, and we are here with our best of

Speaker 30 2019.

Speaker 58 Gonna send you out 2019 with a bang.

Speaker 5 Although we will be back in studio for Monday to recap all week 17,

Speaker 41 to recap the college football playoff.

Speaker 27 We're gonna do that for you, but we figured we'd give you something to listen to while you're sitting at work or you're sitting trying to avoid your family, whatever it may be.

Speaker 41 Going for a walk with yourself or with your cousins.

Speaker 62 Smoking that gange.

Speaker 28 So we have cigarettes.

Speaker 58 We have a best of.

Speaker 31 We have a ton of awesome interviews.

Speaker 33 We have a new interview with Kerry Frazier, which we've been holding on to and we should have put out earlier because he's the man.

Speaker 41 I would say that Kerry Frazier is probably our most Canadian guest of all time. Yes.

Speaker 66 It was actually, we were going to do a summer interview like the Joe Buck where we did four different referees and we only got Kerry Frazier.

Speaker 68 Well, it turns out a lot of the referees don't really want to talk.

Speaker 63 So we actually had Kerry Frazier at the end actually called, what's his name?

Speaker 12 But the Kerry Frazier part was great.

Speaker 65 Yeah, Joe.

Speaker 41 Joey Crawford and told him to come on part of my take. So that will be happening

Speaker 71 sometime.

Speaker 74 But she's like, I don't know if I can because I work with the the league still, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 77 Whatever.

Speaker 41 I want to take back what I just said. I think the Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan is the most Canadian guest without a doubt.
But Kerry Frazier, as a professional hockey referee, is a close second.

Speaker 78 Yes.

Speaker 79 All right.

Speaker 37 So before we do get to all of our best of stuff, we have the best of interviews.

Speaker 33 We have the best of everything we've done.

Speaker 41 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 82 Okay, PFT. Yes.

Speaker 58 Week 17.

Speaker 57 There's a lot at stake, but there's also

Speaker 1 everyone is playing for tape.

Speaker 18 They're playing for tape. Remember that.

Speaker 37 Your tapes your resume.

Speaker 60 Your tape is your resume.

Speaker 41 You put something good out there. Now, this is a great Sunday in the NFL because you have like nine games going on at any given time.
You've got all the divisional games going on.

Speaker 41 The games that really mean the most this weekend, Tennessee Houston. Yes.
That's going to be a big one.

Speaker 41 I hope Vrabel is going to regrow the mustache during the week because he lost his superpowers without it last week.

Speaker 22 He did. He certainly did.

Speaker 41 He needs to grow that bad boy out. I'm looking forward to the Dolphins maybe beating New England as is tradition once a year.

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 41 Most of all, I'm looking forward to hopefully RG3 getting a full game under his belt this weekend because it would be dumb as shit to have Lamar Jackson play the entire game.

Speaker 2 Rest versus Rust is going to be the big conversation.

Speaker 19 We also have a great Sunday night game, 49ers Seahawks.

Speaker 30 Pete Carroll will be chomping literally at the bit.

Speaker 19 He's going to be going crazy. I feel like I don't have faith in either of those teams, but that just feels like a Seahawks win.

Speaker 51 Like, you close your eyes and you just see it's probably drizzling.

Speaker 33 There's probably about five to ten thousand fans with receiver gloves on.

Speaker 41 I hope the Seahawks are going to be there in the front row.

Speaker 89 The Seahawk will be there.

Speaker 41 That's a game changer.

Speaker 41 Something weird is going to happen this game.

Speaker 40 That's all I can tell you.

Speaker 27 I agree.

Speaker 41 In these late-night Seattle, San Francisco games, something weird and kind of fucked up always happens. Some obscure rule.

Speaker 41 I'm sure the touchback rule will come into play at some point when somebody's extending towards the goal line. Something weird is going to happen, and I'm very, very excited for it.

Speaker 75 We also have the Raiders who need still a lot of help, but they are alive.

Speaker 71 They are alive.

Speaker 18 The Oakland Raiders, somehow, someway in week 17, are alive.

Speaker 22 I cannot believe that we're saying that, but it's the truth.

Speaker 63 And if you're a Raider fan,

Speaker 26 you got to enjoy the in the hunt graphic all the way till the end, till the bitter, bitter end.

Speaker 21 Yeah, you white-knuckled it.

Speaker 32 That's fucking awesome.

Speaker 58 Yeah, week 17 is always weird.

Speaker 31 I feel like there's, I wish that I had some, I need to run like a statistical analysis.

Speaker 33 Someone do this for me.

Speaker 51 I always just convinced myself that in week 17, the defenses just don't care, so just bet all the overs.

Speaker 36 I don't think that ever happens.

Speaker 41 No, I would say probably the opposite.

Speaker 22 Well, just go with me here.

Speaker 58 No, yeah, no, it's the overweek.

Speaker 44 Yes, the overweek.

Speaker 40 You want to play a game called Guess the Over-Under?

Speaker 41 This is a game I made up right now.

Speaker 98 Oakland, Denver.

Speaker 41 Guess the Over-under.

Speaker 23 41.5.

Speaker 41 It's kind of in the the Vegas zone on this one, so I think it's going to be 44.

Speaker 2 It's not only Vegas zone, but it's a Vegue.

Speaker 44 Vegas

Speaker 23 because we don't even know the line yet.

Speaker 41 White knuckling, that's what Mark Davis calls the front of his pants.

Speaker 44 Get it? Nice.

Speaker 41 Actually, Mark Davis in the playoffs would be

Speaker 41 something, wouldn't it? Yes. Like, get him in a nice little afternoon Saturday time slot.

Speaker 27 Yeah, it would definitely be the Raiders would definitely play in that Saturday afternoon and be like, come on.

Speaker 99 Remember the Connor Crook game?

Speaker 44 Yes.

Speaker 44 That was great.

Speaker 41 They have to have the Texans in that time slot, right?

Speaker 67 By law? By law.

Speaker 41 I think that's mandated. And that's really the last spot in the AFC is going to be the most interesting one because a lot of stuff can happen one way or the other.

Speaker 41 We could end up with Kansas City playing against Tennessee in the first round of the playoffs.

Speaker 41 I think that Tennessee could beat Kansas City again.

Speaker 41 I think that could happen.

Speaker 41 The Bills still don't know who they're going to play yet.

Speaker 41 If you were to draw it up so that the Bills would advance as far as possible, because I'm speaking for myself. I want to see the Bills go deep in the United States.

Speaker 82 Yeah, and have them play the Texans.

Speaker 41 Have them play the Texans first round. I think they can beat the Texans.
And then they'd have to go to New England where they've proven that they can compete.

Speaker 94 Or probably to Baltimore if the Chiefs won.

Speaker 41 Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Speaker 16 So you would have, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 35 Just have them go to Texan, Houston so they can win one game.

Speaker 41 I just want one more week of football, just for the Buffalo economy, the amount of alcohol that's going to be purchased consumed.

Speaker 41 Yeah, the table market, you're going to get another, like the hardware stores are going to get a full more seven days of table sales.

Speaker 75 Need it, need it.

Speaker 104 So

Speaker 27 the other one I wanted to point out really quickly is the Browns and Bengals. Now, this isn't on anyone's radar, but I'm excited to see just how many players on the Browns quit in this game.

Speaker 31 And this is the first time in a while that I don't think any of the players on the Browns are going to ask to be, say, come get me after the game to the Bengals.

Speaker 41 Disagree. Really? The Bengals are going to get Joe Millennium.

Speaker 98 Joe Burrow, yeah.

Speaker 41 And Odell Beckham and Jarvis Landry have probably already asked to be traded to the LSU Tigers at some point this season after seeing the numbers that they're putting up on offense.

Speaker 106 That would be fun to have them both go to Cincinnati in a double trade where I don't know who Cincinnati would give up.

Speaker 63 Maybe they'd sign and trade A.J. Green.

Speaker 84 Yeah. There it is.

Speaker 8 We just became, we just did like Madden mode where we just disabled realistic trades.

Speaker 41 Yeah, so it would be who is a desirable asset on the Bengals besides A.J. Green? Joe Mixon, maybe? Sure.
Auden Tate. Well, if he doesn't have the shits.

Speaker 51 Yeah.

Speaker 41 Did you see him in the warm-ups last weekend?

Speaker 40 Yeah. Against the Dolphins when he was waddling around like he had toilet paper between his ass?

Speaker 84 Well, probably did.

Speaker 27 Yeah, I mean, that happens when you get the humidity.

Speaker 2 People forget. It's right.

Speaker 30 It's humid down in Miami all times of year.

Speaker 22 All right, so week 17.

Speaker 63 We're excited.

Speaker 22 Like I said, we're going to be in studio, so you will get a full recap on Sunday night, Monday morning.

Speaker 41 Let me ask you about the NFC East real quick. Yeah, yeah.
Who do you want to see in the playoffs in the NFC East?

Speaker 22 Would you rather the Eagles or the Cowboys?

Speaker 43 No, I want the Eagles.

Speaker 109 The Cowboys are a joke.

Speaker 35 I'm so sick of the Cowboys at this point.

Speaker 41 Okay, officially labeled as Big Cat's joke team.

Speaker 54 Joke. They are a joke.

Speaker 33 They are an absolute joke, and I don't know what.

Speaker 48 Worse than a fraud.

Speaker 110 They're worse than a fraud.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I can't even, I can't, because a fraud would imply that they are good, but fraudulent.

Speaker 54 A joke,

Speaker 23 I don't even want to fucking spend time with them.

Speaker 78 You're not even good enough to be fake.

Speaker 23 No, you're not.

Speaker 28 Because, yeah, you're not good.

Speaker 87 Yeah, right.

Speaker 33 there's no fraudulent thing with the Cowboys, they are just a fucking joke. Um, all right, so go to Bet MGM, go put in promo code PMT, and you get that match, like we said, up the $250 deposit match.

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Speaker 2 All right, last thing before we start getting into the interviews, PFT, we also have the college football playoff.

Speaker 110 Yes, so

Speaker 84 I have a future on Ohio State, but I think Clemson is going to beat him.

Speaker 116 I think you're right.

Speaker 41 I've done some soul searching about it. I think Dabo is going to play the disrespect card heavy.
Heavy this week.

Speaker 117 I think

Speaker 41 Clemson's a weird team because they've blown out every single opponent that they've had. So we don't really know for a fact if they're good or not.

Speaker 28 Are we sure they're good?

Speaker 37 Yeah, we're not sure.

Speaker 73 We don't know if they've played their best game of 2019 yet.

Speaker 41 True.

Speaker 66 They almost lost to UNC.

Speaker 30 They did, but then after that moment, they have beaten every single team that they've played by 30 plus.

Speaker 29 And they don't have pretty impressive.

Speaker 41 No players have gotten suspended for mysterious PEDs that weren't their fault yet.

Speaker 48 True.

Speaker 41 As of right now, which is Sunday night.

Speaker 103 The taping of this.

Speaker 41 A lot could change.

Speaker 27 All right. And then we have LSU, who we hope,

Speaker 122 we think, will boat race Oklahoma, although that, when that line gets so big, it starts to scare me.

Speaker 40 I have a future on LSU.

Speaker 50 Everyone talks about how this is going to be the easiest thing ever.

Speaker 41 Was it 13 and a half right now?

Speaker 30 Yeah, 14, 13.5.

Speaker 41 I still, fuck it, make it 21. I still like LSU.

Speaker 55 Okay. All right.

Speaker 3 I think they're going to win, but I'm just, I get nervous when it gets to that

Speaker 33 talk about disrespect.

Speaker 18 I mean, it's kind of an afterthought, like LSU versus Clemson or Ohio State.

Speaker 28 And Oklahoma, I don't know.

Speaker 41 Will Lincoln Riley have accepted the Dallas Cowboys job before the game?

Speaker 66 Oklahoma's never really played well in any of these games, though.

Speaker 64 They played well in the first half against Georgia in the Rose Bowl.

Speaker 41 First half.

Speaker 39 Yeah, they were really good.

Speaker 106 Baker was awesome.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 87 So they played really well in that game for the first half.

Speaker 40 Yeah, I guess, yeah, if you're talking first half, then yeah.

Speaker 87 Yeah, I mean, with a 14-point spread, if they play well for a half, you could be in trouble to cover that spread.

Speaker 41 I mean, if there's one thing I know is that the NCAA is crooked as shit, and if they want a high-rated national championship game, they're going to want LSU in it.

Speaker 72 Correct. So that's real conspiracy.

Speaker 41 Yeah, I'm conspiracying the NCAA. I'll always believe, though, that the NCAA will rig anything.

Speaker 19 Run by David Stern.

Speaker 91 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right, let's do some interviews.

Speaker 22 Let's do some best of.

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Speaker 84 Mountain Dew is the charge to do brought to you by Mountain Dew the official beverage of the NBA do the do we drink Mountain Dew all the time we love Mountain Dew so appreciate them being a sponsor okay interviews so we're gonna we have how many Hank are we doing 13 13 interviews it's not the full interviews it's the best of those interviews so we're gonna go in and out there's some really great stuff and we're gonna start with one of the craziest interviews of the year that's Gary Busey who came to our studio and we got a contact tie from him.

Speaker 41 It wasn't so much an interview, it was just like three guys discussing philosophy for a while.

Speaker 51 Yes, all right, here he is, Gary Busey.

Speaker 30 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 51 It is Gary Busey.

Speaker 106 He is a Hollywood star for decades upon decades. He's in studio, he's written books, he has his Buseyisms.

Speaker 57 I'm very excited for this interview because you are,

Speaker 130 like I was saying beforehand, in two of my favorite movies, point break and rookie of the year and we will get into all of that but it's just great to have you it's great i mean you are exactly as advertised even walking in here well i would like to thank you for giving me the honor and the privilege of coming on your show to speak about what we are going to speak about right so which is what what are

Speaker 14 Which is what?

Speaker 41 Yeah, what are we planning on speaking about?

Speaker 14 Did you just get here?

Speaker 98 I did, yeah.

Speaker 73 I just arrived this very second.

Speaker 130 Use your imagination, but don't let it get out of control i can't make any promises

Speaker 132 all right let's talk about beautyism

Speaker 57 so your book praise for beautyisms yeah okay i love beceisms explain how beautyism started well i was writing a journal i've been betrayed to my heart

Speaker 130 and i was writing about what happened to me and i was

Speaker 130 I realized, hey, this is in the past. Where am I now? Now, okay, now, NOW, that stands for no other way.

Speaker 130 The first musicism I wrote, I was recovering from a traumatic brain injury, and the hospital, the doctors, put me in a smock, gave me a clipboard to take me on rounds so I'd feel like they told me I was going to be playing the doctor in the next movie.

Speaker 130 So I did, okay. And I would scribble things that you couldn't read.
And I went to a drawer, the patient opened it up, underwear and socks, all messed up. So I rearranged it.
And I said, that is neat.

Speaker 130 My first musicism neat. Nice, exciting, and tight.

Speaker 130 And then came the others, and they kept coming, they kept coming.

Speaker 131 Faith, F-A-I-T-H, fantastic adventures and trusting him.

Speaker 131 Hope, H-O-P-E.

Speaker 130 Heavenly offerings prevail eternally. Relationship, R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-H-I-P.

Speaker 131 Really exciting love affair turns into overwhelming nightmare. Sobriety hangs in peril.

Speaker 130 romance r-o-m-a-n-c-e stands for relying on magnificent and necessary compatible energy that's good that's a really good one

Speaker 138 yeah simple simple can we

Speaker 130 yeah go ahead simple no no simple go yo simple s-i-m-p-le-e stands for see it manifesting precious loving energy

Speaker 130 so just be simple you get sweet the eyes connect there's a laser on the eyes the hands touch the hands start sweating and the rest is up to you.

Speaker 140 Fun.

Speaker 141 Fun.

Speaker 101 F-U-N.

Speaker 131 Finally understanding nothing.

Speaker 141 That's great. Yeah.

Speaker 115 That's really fun. That's what.

Speaker 41 Once you realize you don't understand anything, you're just having a great time.

Speaker 78 You're just like, there it is.

Speaker 117 You laugh.

Speaker 100 This is great. Yeah.

Speaker 21 You laugh. What about

Speaker 128 sober?

Speaker 72 Sober. Sober.

Speaker 131 Sober. S-O-B-E-R.
Son of a bitch, everything's real.

Speaker 70 That's perfect.

Speaker 80 Do you have one for Gary?

Speaker 130 Oh, gosh. I don't do proper names.

Speaker 141 What about football?

Speaker 14 But I do Busie.

Speaker 110 Can you do B-U-S-E-Y?

Speaker 130 Being under spiritual energy yearly.

Speaker 129 I like that. Can you do football?

Speaker 101 Football. I play football.

Speaker 41 Football. If you were to make that a BUCism.

Speaker 101 Finding other offers, trusting,

Speaker 10 believing,

Speaker 130 and

Speaker 10 living

Speaker 101 love.

Speaker 55 Ooh,

Speaker 74 you can just rattle them off.

Speaker 143 It's like going to the jukebox and throwing in a dollar and just being like, let's get a break.

Speaker 96 Don't forget to bring your jukebox, buddy.

Speaker 40 Do you believe in hell?

Speaker 101 Hell? Yeah.

Speaker 100 Hell? Yeah.

Speaker 130 Hell is what you make it within yourself.

Speaker 142 Okay.

Speaker 144 So

Speaker 41 hell is a self-imposed condition.

Speaker 130 Well, it's something that's created by men who wrote the Bible. It's created by...

Speaker 130 Hell is really something you create yourself.

Speaker 130 The difference between organized religion and spirituality is organized religion is built for people to be afraid of hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there.
I'm in the second group.

Speaker 130 I cause my own hell. Everyone can cause their own hell, just know how to get out of it, come to the light, and say, thank you, God.

Speaker 21 That's very insightful.

Speaker 77 Thank you.

Speaker 19 All right. Only human.
Yeah.

Speaker 106 Gary Busey, thank you for coming by.

Speaker 107 We'd love to have you back on.

Speaker 72 Maybe we'll go see the play and then have you back on at the end of the run

Speaker 130 in three years. Dismiss the word maybe.

Speaker 106 No, we are going to see it.

Speaker 62 Yeah, so you'll be back on.

Speaker 107 How long are you going to be in this play?

Speaker 106 Three years?

Speaker 145 Maybe four.

Speaker 89 What is it? Through December 15th.

Speaker 35 Through December 15th.

Speaker 57 So October 8th through December 15th.

Speaker 106 We're going to see it during that time, and then we're going to have you back on before you leave New York, and we'll talk about the play some more and even more.

Speaker 19 I mean, people are going to love this interview.

Speaker 130 You know, this play is being worked on, has been being worked on for eight and a half years. Jeez.
And this is coming to a beautiful mountain of spiritual miracles and blessings.

Speaker 11 I love it. We're going to take a field trip, the whole crew.

Speaker 125 We seriously are.

Speaker 44 It's been too long since we're going to be able to do that.

Speaker 13 The whole crew has had a mountain of spiritual miracles.

Speaker 82 We're going to take a field trip.

Speaker 130 You need to hold them up to this, partner.

Speaker 55 Yep. Hank, why don't you

Speaker 138 go for mountains of spiritual blessings?

Speaker 109 And then we're going to have you you back on and we're going to talk about how great you were.

Speaker 130 No, don't talk about how great I am because we already know that.

Speaker 72 Let's talk about how great the play was.

Speaker 147 That too. That too.

Speaker 147 All right.

Speaker 147 Gary BT.

Speaker 112 Oh, you guys are so funny. Ah!

Speaker 141 Oh, wait, wait.

Speaker 6 Yes. Here.
And the book.

Speaker 96 Yes.

Speaker 131 This book is for you, Dan.

Speaker 6 Thank you. Read what I wrote.

Speaker 149 Oh, wow.

Speaker 55 Look at this.

Speaker 106 Thank you for your blessing in every way.

Speaker 131 This book is for you, Eric.

Speaker 39 Thank you. There we go.

Speaker 29 Read what he wrote.

Speaker 37 Thank you. I'll give that to my brother.

Speaker 20 You wrote the same thing.

Speaker 65 Read what he wrote.

Speaker 47 Yep.

Speaker 136 Read yours.

Speaker 32 Thank you for the blessing in every way.

Speaker 73 God blessed you.

Speaker 46 Oh, you got God blessed.

Speaker 33 God blessed you when you were born.

Speaker 55 Hey, Gary Buse, Heart, Gary.

Speaker 115 I don't know who's got the better one.

Speaker 99 That's very sweet.

Speaker 41 I mean, I don't know how much more of a soul we could put on this play other than like, go watch Gary Busey.

Speaker 55 No, I know. I mean, this is incredible.

Speaker 150 I know. No, that's great.

Speaker 72 No, we're going. We're going.

Speaker 130 We need to cancel the next guest. I'm not leaving.

Speaker 133 Okay, perfect.

Speaker 55 We're going to watch football all day.

Speaker 11 We're going to watch football all day.

Speaker 100 Football? Yeah, Yeah, we're going to watch it all day.

Speaker 130 I don't blame you. All right.

Speaker 106 Gary Busey, thank you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 131 And come see the play on the Hubot.

Speaker 57 Okay, next up, we have Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 52 Went to Ann Arbor, golfed in jeans, some of us, Hank.

Speaker 28 By the way, Hank.

Speaker 66 What's wrong with golfing in jeans?

Speaker 41 You didn't mention...

Speaker 73 Against the decorum of the game.

Speaker 126 I can't believe you didn't mention when we talked about you golfing in jeans the other day that Belichick golfs in jeans

Speaker 107 in the documentary documentation.

Speaker 41 Well, he only plays like once a year. He goes out for his one, like, that's when he relaxes.

Speaker 16 He's golfing in jeans.

Speaker 41 Yeah, so that's where Hank gets it from. Yeah, so he's got an ass.
Hank doesn't have it. The problem with Hank golfing in jeans is the jeans fall off your ass.

Speaker 65 I wore a belt. Squatober.

Speaker 87 We're 10 more months.

Speaker 66 Well, my New Year's resolution is going to be.

Speaker 41 Get an ass?

Speaker 40 Yeah, now that we have the facilities inside. We do have the facilities.

Speaker 141 The year of the ass force built.

Speaker 52 Okay, so here is Jim Harbaugh Harbaugh and also his famous love for Microsoft Excel.

Speaker 140 I do everything in Excel.

Speaker 38 So I actually knew that someone had told me that.

Speaker 37 Explain that.

Speaker 94 You type actual letters and poems and everything.

Speaker 12 Letters, everything.

Speaker 41 In Excel.

Speaker 140 Everything in Excel.

Speaker 141 What?

Speaker 140 I draw pictures in Excel.

Speaker 92 Why is that?

Speaker 152 Excel is the first thing I learned, and

Speaker 12 I've stayed with it.

Speaker 72 Yeah.

Speaker 61 I'm a disciple of Excel.

Speaker 73 My theory was, you know,

Speaker 88 we'll do what's it for?

Speaker 152 We'll go to my office today.

Speaker 140 And I will show you, and I will print up a day in football inspired by Owen Resick and a nod to Ernest Hemingway and Old Man in the Sea.

Speaker 68 But you're using Excel, but not for Excel.

Speaker 35 Like, it's supposed to be for formulas and spreadsheets, and you're just using it as

Speaker 147 like a notepad Word document

Speaker 140 to three to four lines or six.

Speaker 110 They can

Speaker 55 soften text is what they say.

Speaker 115 My theory

Speaker 73 was that you read off off play sheets all the time.

Speaker 41 Those are all put into Excel, the way that they're formatted. I was just thinking, like, you've been reading off those your whole life.
It's probably, it's easier for you to see those

Speaker 41 wrong.

Speaker 73 Yeah, the wristband. Everything's in Excel.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 41 If we're living in a computer simulation right now, it's probably Microsoft Excel. Yeah.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 36 All right.

Speaker 21 I use Word.

Speaker 149 Yeah. For

Speaker 55 Google Docs.

Speaker 11 The thing that you're supposed to type words into.

Speaker 41 The next interview we have coming up is one of my favorites of the year.

Speaker 41 It was Brux brooks kipka who as he became blake kepka before our very ears in this yeah if you've ever wondered what how brooks became a blake it was from this interview it was from this interview we were in a basement in long island getting ready for the u.s open on long island in long island getting ready for the u.s open oh no and uh blake was just he was he was a wonderful interview he probably cares less about golf than we do yeah so here is brooks kepka

Speaker 33 okay we now welcome on on very special guest.

Speaker 20 We're in his home, his rented home in Long Island.

Speaker 84 It's Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 22 He is the U.S.

Speaker 33 Open 2017-2018 champion and also the PGA return champion, right?

Speaker 27 So you're trying to defend your crown here this weekend at Beth Page Black.

Speaker 94 And I want to start with the most important question.

Speaker 85 You have three majors.

Speaker 11 You're very good looking.

Speaker 87 You got muscles.

Speaker 33 You got the whole fucking tan and everything. What's your problem?

Speaker 155 I got no problem.

Speaker 39 Okay, well, we got a problem.

Speaker 95 Maybe you got one problem, Brandall.

Speaker 55 Okay, yes, we'll get to him.

Speaker 87 Brandle Chambly.

Speaker 155 I figured that might come around.

Speaker 54 Yes, but seriously, like, you need,

Speaker 3 we're going to start a whole rebrand of Brooks Kepka on this show.

Speaker 36 You are too perfect.

Speaker 33 So we need to figure out, like, give us your biggest weakness to start this show.

Speaker 141 Biggest weakness. Ooh.

Speaker 85 Reality TV.

Speaker 43 That's not a weakness. You watch reality TV?

Speaker 127 Real Housewives? You're a real housewife.

Speaker 155 Yeah. Yeah, I've definitely watched it.

Speaker 41 You got skinny recently. I did.
That pissed off america that's that was really interesting going into the masters because people were mad at you that you lost weight i know they were

Speaker 55 you were they were not fat

Speaker 29 everyone else is trying everybody was just like i wish brooks would put on 30 pounds and get back to like his how many how much weight did you lose i was like 30 pounds yeah what was the plan behind that i just wanted to look good that was it yeah you just want to look good for a graham yeah well yeah yeah if you got a photo shoot you might as well

Speaker 141 you actually lost power though in your drive right yeah and we're not golf guys but we'll ask a couple golf we'll sprinkle a couple golf yeah Is that bad to lose power on your drive?

Speaker 155 I mean, it's not good.

Speaker 43 It wouldn't be long.

Speaker 113 When you noticed it, like, were you like, what's going on here?

Speaker 30 I need to start eating again?

Speaker 120 Yeah, well, yeah.

Speaker 155 Once we got everything done squared away, all the photo shoots done, we

Speaker 155 definitely ate like a champ. I know that.
Okay, so you actually got to cheeseburgers and pizza.

Speaker 41 Did you actually have photo shoots? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 73 So you lost weight for posting.

Speaker 127 You wanted to look good, yeah. Yeah.
Did you stop?

Speaker 62 Who doesn't want to look good?

Speaker 41 Did you stop working out?

Speaker 85 After, yes.

Speaker 121 Huh.

Speaker 155 Okay. I was definitely working out before.

Speaker 41 How much do you bench these days?

Speaker 121 I don't know.

Speaker 127 I haven't benched in a long time.

Speaker 9 It's been like six weeks. Really?

Speaker 62 That's a really long time.

Speaker 128 That's a really long time.

Speaker 21 That's great, though.

Speaker 41 I heard that you used to be able to put up 315.

Speaker 95 Yeah, I could. How many times?

Speaker 121 Just once.

Speaker 41 And I also heard that you used to work out sometimes after rounds. Is that true?

Speaker 121 Yeah, before or after.

Speaker 153 Isn't that weird, though?

Speaker 41 Like, if you're lifting weights before you go out on the course, doesn't that affect? I feel like if I do three tricep extensions, I can't shoot a basketball for like a week afterwards.

Speaker 155 They look better in the shirts, though.

Speaker 72 No? Your schmediums?

Speaker 12 In my schmediums.

Speaker 37 That's on my list as well.

Speaker 37 So wait, I want to go back because

Speaker 33 golf is one of those sports that everyone always thinks, like, oh, you know, like the fat guys can play.

Speaker 94 It's, you know, Phil Mickelson back in the day.

Speaker 27 Now it's completely different.

Speaker 94 You guys train like you're in the NFL or like NBA.

Speaker 147 We're not that big. But are you?

Speaker 55 Let's be real.

Speaker 121 Let's be real.

Speaker 9 You guys have had plenty of NFL guys.

Speaker 120 There's no reason that.

Speaker 147 But what's your training regimen like in the offseason?

Speaker 33 Like, are you training every single day?

Speaker 155 Yeah, in the offseason, yeah. I mean, you might as well.
What else are you going to do? I'm not playing golf. I got better things to do.

Speaker 95 Oh, how long do you go without playing golf in the offseason?

Speaker 122 I'll go six weeks.

Speaker 157 That's really

Speaker 41 when you get back out on the course after six weeks, do you notice a major, major difference in how you're playing?

Speaker 127 Yeah, really?

Speaker 41 Do you give yourself that break more mentally just so you have to do it?

Speaker 127 Yeah,

Speaker 155 I'd rather be on the boat drinking,

Speaker 155 hanging out, doing what everybody else is doing.

Speaker 41 You know, that like everybody else, they do the exact opposite where they go out to play golf to get away from stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's their mental break.

Speaker 95 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 94 You're not helping the whole like you're too perfect narrative that you got going.

Speaker 61 Yeah, so you're getting ready for opening round on Thursday, Wednesday night.

Speaker 41 What is your do you have a pattern that you do? Do you have like a...

Speaker 155 I just try to be in bed by like 10.30, but other than that, I got nothing.

Speaker 121 Hmm. Yeah.

Speaker 155 It's just whatever, whatever.

Speaker 72 I feel like I'm going to find something.

Speaker 41 What would you say that we could make fun of you most easily for besides the reality TV thing?

Speaker 38 The Thong photo?

Speaker 120 Schmottos? Yes, the old.

Speaker 155 Yeah. That was a good one.

Speaker 95 Yeah, the thong photo.

Speaker 156 I was trying so hard to be an Instagram model.

Speaker 158 It just backfired so bad.

Speaker 11 What about your logo socks?

Speaker 55 Sorry. I'm getting a new one.
Yeah.

Speaker 141 Getting a new one. Are you going?

Speaker 158 I'm getting a new one. Good.

Speaker 147 Yeah, see, there we go.

Speaker 43 He's bouncing.

Speaker 93 I saw it and I was like, what's this?

Speaker 40 It's just a B?

Speaker 36 Yeah. And, like, you got to, yeah.

Speaker 155 Yeah, I got a new one coming. So, what's the new one look like?

Speaker 32 I'll show you later, yeah.

Speaker 32 Show me one right now.

Speaker 155 You have it? I don't have it on me now. I don't have my phone.
Nobody. All right.

Speaker 37 So you fixed the one thing that I could say.

Speaker 95 Yeah, we're getting a little better on that.

Speaker 151 You have a very South African-sounding name.

Speaker 62 I know.

Speaker 156 I want to hear you say it one time.

Speaker 41 It's so satisfying to say, Brux Kipke.

Speaker 72 Yeah.

Speaker 147 It's way cool. I know.

Speaker 156 I've heard it a thousand times. I just want to hear it in person.

Speaker 41 You should be South African.

Speaker 30 There will be people who listen to this interview and be like, wait, what?

Speaker 147 He's not? Yeah.

Speaker 128 That's true.

Speaker 100 A lot of people, no, South African.

Speaker 41 A lot of people, they were telling me that during the Masters, when they were doing a behind-the-scenes thing with you, or they were discussing you, they were shocked and they lost bets with their friends because they were hanging out and they're like no he's from south africa no that's not

Speaker 158 he's literally

Speaker 96 it's actually funny yeah bruce kipka say it one time bruce kipka yeah exactly yeah yeah it's it rolls on

Speaker 155 let's do fixing golf so why do you think golf like what do you think golf needs to improve on to get better like in terms of you're out there for five and a half hours i mean how bad is that nobody wants to spend five and a half hours out there yeah i mean unless you're like getting away from your wife or like trying to get away right You know, that'd be great.

Speaker 155 But other than that.

Speaker 33 So, how do you speed up the game?

Speaker 156 Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes.

Speaker 55 I like that a lot.

Speaker 161 Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 155 Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker.

Speaker 50 Yes.

Speaker 27 And I always get to like 11 and I'm like, this is.

Speaker 155 It gets boring from like hole five to 12. You're just like, where am I right now?

Speaker 47 You are bored during a tournament?

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Five through 12?

Speaker 128 Yeah.

Speaker 155 I literally can't tell you what, like, what happened during those holes.

Speaker 120 You kind of like black out. You're like, oh,

Speaker 94 everything's repetitive.

Speaker 143 It's true, though, because when you golf, there is like the first three holes where you're like, okay, I feel good today.

Speaker 45 And then, like, right around 14, you're like, all right, I got a few left.

Speaker 95 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 34 And then anything in between, it's just whatever.

Speaker 62 Can I get a hot dog after nine? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 147 He's just looking

Speaker 72 at everybody getting drunk.

Speaker 41 What about using a cart?

Speaker 155 I'd love to use a cart.

Speaker 145 How great would that be?

Speaker 44 That would be sick having people driving carts.

Speaker 31 Dale's using a cart too.

Speaker 61 So you see that?

Speaker 70 How awesome is that? Yeah, that is pretty.

Speaker 41 He's just commandeered the beer cart. Yeah.

Speaker 41 Just kicked the girl out of here. So

Speaker 162 what can they do to to make it better for the audience like what because you did what was your exact quote that golf is not fun enough or make golf fun

Speaker 50 golf sucks yeah what you said according to me yeah real question about your swing i read that book on tiger and it seemed like every like few years you just completely remake his swing yeah go from scratch have you done that no so you just do i i literally have two swing thoughts and that's it i just hit it and go that's the thoughts yeah hit it and go yeah literally just keep it short and swing it hard i think that's it.

Speaker 87 I think what we found is we found the Blake portals of golf.

Speaker 128 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Like, you're right. It's...

Speaker 160 No, that's.

Speaker 50 You are a guy, a normal guy who plays golf really, really well.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 113 Blake is a normal guy who's an exceptional quarterback. Yeah.

Speaker 120 Exactly. You're right.

Speaker 147 I like that.

Speaker 61 I like that comparison.

Speaker 41 So when you hit a shot, obviously you have different shots in your bag. You hit a draw, you hit a fade, right?

Speaker 22 I'm guessing. Yeah.

Speaker 147 You hit them both, yeah.

Speaker 156 I mean, I just try to stick to one because I know what I'm doing on one of them.

Speaker 41 But when you get up there and you're like, okay, which one's better for you?

Speaker 155 I fade it, yeah, I hit it left or right.

Speaker 41 Okay, so you get up there and you're trying to fade it, you just think hit and go, or do you have to like tell yourself, do you have to walk yourself through the process and think, okay, I have to think there's no thought process.

Speaker 155 Your cat is just like, aim left and just swing hard and it'll come back to wherever you want it.

Speaker 41 Your cat is just like, aim at that thing and then you do that thing.

Speaker 155 Yeah, it'll just be like finish it there.

Speaker 121 Okay, I'll try. I mean,

Speaker 155 one of two things is going to happen. It's either going to end up there or it's not.

Speaker 155 Right.

Speaker 65 It's either going to be really good or bad.

Speaker 33 So, I mean, yeah, I'm just starting because I feel like maybe we haven't interviewed enough golfers, but they have like all these technical, like, oh, this is what I'm trying to do on this shot, but you're just like, I'm just up there just bashing.

Speaker 156 What's the point of thinking of something else?

Speaker 73 I think I figured you out.

Speaker 41 I think you don't like golf very much. And so you're always just like, I want to get the fuck off this course in the least amount of time possible.

Speaker 41 So I'm just going to take, I'm going to take a very few amount of strokes and get home.

Speaker 122 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 149 That's a good way to put it. Yeah.

Speaker 60 Sometimes win the tournament.

Speaker 108 Yeah, occasionally.

Speaker 41 Yeah, then you have to stick around and collect a check. It's a whole big thing.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 165 Yeah, that's probably a pain in the ass.

Speaker 41 You just want to get to the bar.

Speaker 22 Okay, before we get to our next interview, which is going to be with Stone Cold Steve Austin, the man, the myth, the legend, a quick word from Nitza.

Speaker 2 Are you one of those people who thinks it's okay to drive stoned?

Speaker 63 What's the worst that can happen?

Speaker 33 You end up driving below the speed limit.

Speaker 22 It's no big deal.

Speaker 19 Right?

Speaker 101 Wrong.

Speaker 11 Big time wrong.

Speaker 33 The truth is your reaction time slows way down when you're high. You not only put yourself in danger, but everyone around you.

Speaker 22 Talk about a buzzkill.

Speaker 51 Stop kidding yourself.

Speaker 33 It's not okay to drive high.

Speaker 27 You've been using marijuana in any form.

Speaker 30 Do not get behind the wheel.

Speaker 33 If you feel different, you drive different.

Speaker 2 Drive high. Get a DUI.

Speaker 33 Listen, guys, you can just use so many car services now.

Speaker 22 There's no excuse. This holiday season, NHTSA wants you to plan ahead.
If you will be celebrating, if you plan to indulge in an impairing substance, plan for a sober driver to take you home.

Speaker 2 Is it your turn to be the designated driver?

Speaker 33 Take that role seriously and do not partake in alcohol or any other drugs.

Speaker 22 Drive high, get a DUI.

Speaker 19 It's not worth it, guys.

Speaker 33 With NHTSA's support, state and local law enforcement agencies across the nation are stepping up enforcement to put an end to drug-impaired driving, showing zero tolerance to save lives.

Speaker 37 Okay, PFT, our next one up, we have Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Speaker 18 This was a personal favorite of mine.

Speaker 22 What's the never meet your heroes?

Speaker 30 Well, actually do meet your heroes because they turn out to be cooler than you thought.

Speaker 41 Yeah, trust yourself in the fact that you chose excellent heroes growing up, and that you're not going to disappoint yourself by idolizing these people.

Speaker 2 And I want him back on like at least once every six months just to have him call in and be like, hey guys, it's Stone Cold.

Speaker 41 My only regret with having Stone Cold on our show is that we gave him some of our secret sauce about how to do interviews. Yeah.

Speaker 41 I saw that his interview with The Undertaker was ranked as like the best podcast interview of the year. So we should have been worse with him.

Speaker 73 That's a mistake.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 105 All right. Here he is.

Speaker 50 Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Speaker 167 Okay, we now welcome on.

Speaker 50 I mean, you're a role model. You're an idol of mine.

Speaker 2 Way back in the day, it's Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Speaker 113 I'm a little speechless because you are actually someone that, like, if I had to list the three people that are like on the

Speaker 23 pinnacle of my idols, it's you, Michael Jordan, and Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Speaker 27 How do you think about that being in that kind of

Speaker 23 company?

Speaker 14 Not your speech, though.

Speaker 14 That's an interesting selection there.

Speaker 55 Yeah, you like it.

Speaker 132 I do. You like it?

Speaker 14 Hey, before the cameras were rolling, you offered to give me the shirt off your back. I did.

Speaker 132 Can you turn up my volume? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 37 Hank missed that, but when you walked in, you're like, hey, I like your shirt.

Speaker 33 And I just ripped it off my back. And I said, here, you take it.

Speaker 150 You can do it.

Speaker 50 You want it?

Speaker 14 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 22 please keep it on I like it when you have your shirt on all right so it is stone cold steve austin uh welcome to the show we're very excited to have you on you have a new show coming out straight up Steve Austin August did we make a mistake not bringing beers into this studio for you almost all the shows that I've done today I have offered me a beer but you know I'm not offended that you didn't we're trying to do the option like we're trying not to be hey stone cold here's another beer another just you play into the

Speaker 19 character yeah and we couldn't find your beer and I do want to offer you something that wasn't yours and that's what just just happened.

Speaker 14 Someone brought out a, you know what? And I was like, man, this ain't broken skull.

Speaker 146 It's broken skull.

Speaker 14 So anyway, and I do have a long day ahead of me. For me to show up on another show all trash because I've been hanging out with you guys drinking beer all day would be unprofessional on my part.

Speaker 14 So yeah, I took a couple of sips.

Speaker 150 I don't want to look hoity-toity.

Speaker 117 Right, right.

Speaker 14 Yeah, okay. A couple of swigs.

Speaker 6 So you're good. We're good.

Speaker 132 Yeah, I'm good.

Speaker 14 Yeah, 100%. All right.
Dude, you offered me the shirt off your back.

Speaker 168 You took the shirt off and handed it to me.

Speaker 132 It was a great moment.

Speaker 72 It didn't even think.

Speaker 132 It was true.

Speaker 14 You're the kind of guy I can always say, hey, man, the guy

Speaker 23 give you the shirt right off his back absolutely um all right i want to talk about a lot about the attitude area i told you i was a huge fan uh let's start with just your entrance do you still get chills when the glass shatters yeah man it's adrenaline rush it's a spike that you can't explain yep uh

Speaker 14 it's and you live and die by it Recently, we just went down to Tampa for the Monday night. You know, it was like the raw reunion.

Speaker 14 And I was like, for the www.com, they were asking me, hey, hey, you know, we're used to the stone coal pop because it's kind of a phenomenon, right?

Speaker 14 And I'm not patting myself on the stone. No, that's a fact.

Speaker 22 I watched all three hours of that show for the pop.

Speaker 14 Yeah, so, and I said, hey, man, I said, I know it's going to be good, but anything less than fantastic or spectacular is going to be a letdown for me because I've heard them all.

Speaker 14 And you live and die by that. And, boy, when I came out of the gate, man, the place, it blew the roof off the place.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 it was an amazing feeling. And I'm not a drug head.
So I can say, but if you could bottle that feeling that that I feel when that glass hits and you could sell that,

Speaker 168 you'd make a lot of damn money.

Speaker 55 What's the number one pop in

Speaker 22 your career that you think back? The one that you close your eyes and you're like, that was it?

Speaker 14 Well, there's so many, but there's that one time when The Rock was wrestling, Mick Foley

Speaker 14 and DX, and they were creating all kinds of havoc.

Speaker 14 Vince McMahon was by the ring, and all of a sudden, Mick's in a bunch of trouble, and then here comes Stone Cold, and they hit that damn music, and it was a built moment.

Speaker 14 You know, they build those moments, you know, but I got to be the guy, and the music has a big part of it.

Speaker 14 But when I came out there to help him win that championship, and then the eruption when he pinned the rock for the three-count, that was one of the top ones.

Speaker 117 Yeah, so you got to understand that was a great match.

Speaker 14 Also, yes, it was, but you also got to understand.

Speaker 14 Finally, when I turned from the ringmaster and the stone cold, you know, the music that I had to begin with was, you know, laid back, boring, lulling. Oh, it's terrible.

Speaker 14 And so then I started getting a little bit of hands-on when I came up with the Stone Cold thing. And they said, hey, do you have any any ideas for some ring music? I said, you're damn right I do.

Speaker 14 So I took Rage Against Machine, Bulls on Parade to Jim Johnston. I said, it ain't this song, but it's in the vein of this song.
And so why he thought about the glass breaking?

Speaker 100 I mean, because Stone Cold. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I mean, and then he put the sirens in, but it's a dunno dun.

Speaker 14 The whole thing was a masterpiece, and I give all the credit to Jim Johnston, but it was inspired, at least in my head, by Rage Against Machine, Bulls on Parade.

Speaker 41 Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

Speaker 41 So you had, you know, too many outrageous stunts to count, really, whether it's, you know, running over the Rocks New Lincoln with the monster truck or driving the Zamboni into the ring, anything.

Speaker 41 By the way, had you ever driven a Zamboni before?

Speaker 14 No, and I'd never driven a monster truck prior to that.

Speaker 14 I've driven a couple because was that before or after my neck surgery? Because I started doing monster truck appearances.

Speaker 14 But I am the master, the absolute master of driving anything on wheels in 15 minutes. I'm not going to be an expert at it, but I can efficiently get the job done.
And it's sink or swim.

Speaker 14 If you're going to put me on live TV and put me in a monster truck or go to Nassau Coliseum when I drove the cement truck and to Phillip Vince's available Corvette, all those things folded down and then I revved the motor to spin up that cement to dump in that Corvette.

Speaker 14 They didn't, we didn't have modern technology back in. They didn't say like, here's a mark to hit.
I just had to guess at the mark. So

Speaker 14 it was just fun to be able to do all that kind of stuff. When I drove that monster truck into the arena, they put me into a holding area.

Speaker 72 I remember this.

Speaker 14 And it was like a two, two and a half minute commercial break. And that thing's running off methyl, alcohol, ethanol, alcohol, whatever.
It's an 1,800 horsepower motor. And I'm in there and I'm dying.

Speaker 14 My eyes are tearing up. I can't breathe because of the exhaust fumes of that truck.

Speaker 61 Well, you were also dead.

Speaker 14 I'm just waiting to come back on air so I can just get out there and get a breath of fresh air. Anyway, I get out in the arena and I gas it.
And the carpet's so long. And I just, I revved it up.

Speaker 14 And I think four-wheel drive was so awesome. It just jerked one of the camera guys off his feet because it shot the carpet right out from underneath him because all that horsepower.

Speaker 14 So all the shenanigans that they created for me really helped the character.

Speaker 22 Do you think it's missing in today's wrestling? Because just thinking about, you know, listing them all, the Zamboni,

Speaker 45 putting the cement in Vince McMahon's Corvette, all these off the ring things that happen is what made Raw can't miss on a Monday night because you just didn't know, you know, you're with Booker T in

Speaker 28 a supermarket.

Speaker 58 There's all these things that would happen that you just had no no idea what was going to happen next.

Speaker 50 And it feels like after your era, it kind of went away from that.

Speaker 61 It was a lot more ring stuff.

Speaker 14 Man,

Speaker 14 well, it's interesting how the thing has changed. And now it's three hours versus two hours, and SmackDown's two hours.

Speaker 14 But when you used to watch, you know, back in the Attitude Era, we had the Monday Night Wars, Nitro had this hot open.

Speaker 14 Then we had our pyro coming down.

Speaker 148 I mean,

Speaker 14 it was a sense of urgency. You felt like anything could happen at any one time.
And it, to me, is just maybe, I'm not picking on today's product, but I'm just thinking spontaneity is lost.

Speaker 14 Like that feeling that anything could happen is lost.

Speaker 14 And if you can bring it back and create that excitement, I don't think you need to go to, you know, filling up, you know, this with that or crushing, you know, things.

Speaker 14 You know, Braun Strowman has done some really cool things with

Speaker 14 his displays of strength, turning shit over and stuff like that. That's all cool.
Sense of urgency, I think, is the most important part.

Speaker 100 Yeah.

Speaker 68 What about the famous beer bath?

Speaker 33 That was also another personal favorite.

Speaker 14 Man, in the first, about the first 30 gallons, that was real beer. And, man, I rolled down there and we bought that hose out and I started spraying them.

Speaker 14 And then, like, as I was spraying, I figured, man, it'd be a great vision for me to get myself a drink of beer. But it was coming out like, I don't know, like 100 miles per hour.

Speaker 14 So I basically ribbed myself. Because when I pointed it at myself, it almost blew my eyes out and drowned me at the same time.
Like, shit, that wasn't smart. So, but I know sold it.

Speaker 65 Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 79 Did you, did you, I feel like you never missed, we're going to wrap up in a second.

Speaker 94 I feel like you never missed cans when they were thrown to you.

Speaker 14 Man, I got some hands on you.

Speaker 55 You have some hands.

Speaker 14 Yeah, every 90, I get the rare drop, but my percentage, that was, I wouldn't remember that.

Speaker 55 Oh, there you go. I got my hands.

Speaker 133 I was basically tied over here.

Speaker 14 I just caught a bunch for Raw at that reunion the other day.

Speaker 72 Yeah, you did.

Speaker 14 But, man, Mark Eaton, and I'd give him the signal, and some of them were so far away, you're like, Mark would go, you're catching And I'd say,

Speaker 100 bring them.

Speaker 14 I'd say something different, but he would throw them, but he goes, and I'd say, yep. And so some of those things got launched, I dare say, close to 40 yards.
But I've always been able to catch things.

Speaker 14 And hell, I played running back in high school, and then in college, I played linebacker defensive end.

Speaker 14 But hell, if they let me at tie it in or something like that, I probably could have had a career.

Speaker 128 You got to believe it.

Speaker 154 I've got to get it too, the hand size. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but I can catch stuff. I'm really good at catching alcoholic beverages.

Speaker 72 It's a God-given talent.

Speaker 14 Everything else just kind of slips.

Speaker 21 It's because you really want a beer.

Speaker 41 This next clip is actually another favorite of Big Cats.

Speaker 73 Yeah. Because it's another one of your personal heroes.

Speaker 141 Yes.

Speaker 107 Denny Hamlin. Denny Hamlin.

Speaker 41 So here's Denny Hamlin calling up some guy that owns a sneaker company or something.

Speaker 73 So you're a big Team Jordan guy.

Speaker 46 Yep.

Speaker 40 Did you talk to MJ afterwards?

Speaker 172 He texts me at 9.20.

Speaker 172 The NBA game is going on. It's his birthday.

Speaker 172 The race is over. I look at my phone.
He's like, man, I'm so happy.

Speaker 146 Yeah.

Speaker 133 I don't know. Let's call him.

Speaker 41 He's actually a friend of ours. We've talked about that a few times.

Speaker 165 I don't know.

Speaker 55 You think he'll answer? No.

Speaker 132 I don't think he would. I'm too nervous.

Speaker 13 You know why?

Speaker 13 I don't think I've ever called him.

Speaker 141 Yeah.

Speaker 41 Don't waste your phone call on him.

Speaker 88 He'll get frequent.

Speaker 172 I think we're tight enough that he won't.

Speaker 32 He's going to be like, hey, go on part of my team.

Speaker 28 You're actually calling Michael Jordan.

Speaker 100 Yeah. What the fuck?

Speaker 62 I'm going to just blame it on y'all.

Speaker 165 Yeah, it's fine. It's fine.
It's fine.

Speaker 13 I wasn't going to be able to do it. Or maybe maybe if the answer is the happiest moment of my life.

Speaker 173 I'm Jerry LeBron.

Speaker 148 Stop it.

Speaker 172 Who are you going to trust with the final shot? Oh, my God.

Speaker 173 What's up?

Speaker 147 That's Michael Jordan.

Speaker 56 Congratulations.

Speaker 172 Thank you, man. All right.
So here's the deal. I'm on pardon my take on barstool, and we're talking about you and how good of a friend you've been to me my entire career.

Speaker 172 So I just want to say thank you.

Speaker 55 I love you.

Speaker 72 I love you, Michael.

Speaker 172 I I love you. So that's all I want to say.

Speaker 137 Hey, man, I'm proud of you, man. We're to bounce back after a tough year last year and started off right.
So I expect at least five wins this year.

Speaker 172 That's the number for me.

Speaker 168 Five put out there, five and a half was

Speaker 172 the over-under.

Speaker 41 So are you the goat? You got it, my brother.

Speaker 14 Thank you, man.

Speaker 147 Yeah, love you. I love you.

Speaker 55 I really do love you.

Speaker 174 That was. Okay.
Was that actually him?

Speaker 55 Michael Jordan.

Speaker 132 Come on, Michael. Of course.

Speaker 55 That's amazing.

Speaker 117 I can't believe the answer because we rarely, rarely.

Speaker 68 He's definitely like, why is that guy screaming, I love you, you, in the background?

Speaker 73 He was pretty pumped to hear from you, though.

Speaker 38 I almost punched PFT when he's like, Are you the ghost?

Speaker 72 I was about to take him out, I was about to take him out.

Speaker 37 Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 172 No, but I mean, you know, what's crazy to me?

Speaker 112 You could keep talking, and I'm just gonna be like, Okay, whatever.

Speaker 172 It's 2014, it's the final NASCAR race, and I'm in the final four. I have a shot to win the championship.

Speaker 172 He texts me and says, You know, hey, you mind if I bring the family down and like, you know, spend the day with you

Speaker 172 that whole day? And I'm like,

Speaker 172 Sure, I think we can arrange that. So he's hanging out in my motorhome before the race.
You know, I'm getting ready. I'm suiting up and everything.
And he's got his crew there.

Speaker 172 And so he watches the entire race, you know, on my pit box. He's standing there behind the pit box, just pacing back and forth.
And he says, you know, he was nervous. He was nervous for me.

Speaker 172 And I was just like, this is weird that this guy is amazing and everyone is in awe of him. But he's going to watch some NASCAR driver try to go for a championship.

Speaker 172 And when I didn't win, which sucked, he was no longer friends with you.

Speaker 6 No, he was there.

Speaker 172 Everyone had left.

Speaker 172 The stands were completely empty. And he was there.
He had his arm around me.

Speaker 118 We walked up Pit Row.

Speaker 172 He's like, you know, you got to just keep digging, man. You're going to go through things like this.

Speaker 41 How much do you think he knows about the sport of NASCAR?

Speaker 46 And how much do you think?

Speaker 39 A lot.

Speaker 172 He asked me all the time questions about certain races. And so that's how I initially met him.
I was at a Hornets game, and he actually stopped me and said, Hey, you know, I'm Michael.

Speaker 172 Nice to meet you.

Speaker 173 And I was like, Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, no shit, Michael.

Speaker 148 I'm Michael.

Speaker 154 And, you know, and I'm like, you know, this is amazing.

Speaker 172 And so he's like, hey, you know, take my number real quick and we'll kind of keep in touch. So we're texting through the second half of this game.

Speaker 173 I know this sounds completely made up.

Speaker 154 This is insane.

Speaker 172 This sounds completely made up, but it's not.

Speaker 132 You know what?

Speaker 51 This is good, though, because sometimes we get accused of like, oh, yeah, we're just texting with J.J.

Speaker 8 Watson.

Speaker 154 This is a new level of like.

Speaker 172 So he said, yeah, I said, really?

Speaker 172 So he asked me, he's like, what happened in this race two weeks ago?

Speaker 16 You know, you did this or that.

Speaker 172 I was like, well, you watch NASCAR? He's like, buddy. He said, my dad used to take me to NASCAR races when I was a kid, and I've just latched on to racing ever since then.
He says, I watch every week.

Speaker 91 Okay, next up over the summer, when we did Grit Week, we actually taped a very special episode with Ryan Rossello and Mark Titus, our two good friends, which, by the way, I'm going to announce this right now.

Speaker 57 We haven't even discussed it, but we're going to do it again this year.

Speaker 41 It was a fun, it was a very fun interview because it was four guys talking about life.

Speaker 40 Yes. Opening up the kimono, allowing everybody to.

Speaker 124 Are you trying to tell us something?

Speaker 23 No, I'm not having another kid kid yet.

Speaker 41 That you know of.

Speaker 11 That I know of.

Speaker 16 But we will do this again. So, yeah, we did this as an evergreen episode when my son was born.

Speaker 22 But I think it was people liked it so much that we will find a time to get the four of us together again and

Speaker 11 talk about whatever.

Speaker 31 We'll maybe pick a different one, different kind of life topic, and we will dive into it and we'll make sure we do that for you this summer.

Speaker 41 I think what we have to do is somebody needs to get someone pregnant this year.

Speaker 37 So it has to be one of us.

Speaker 121 Hank?

Speaker 72 your seed is very strong.

Speaker 66 PFT, I mean, your eggs are running dry.

Speaker 55 My eggs are rage.

Speaker 175 I've got pancake batter coming out of these nuts.

Speaker 21 I've not yet begun to nut.

Speaker 45 Either way, we're going to do it no matter what.

Speaker 50 Even if we don't have another child on the way, we will make sure we run that back this summer.

Speaker 31 But here it is from this past summer, life with our friends Mark Titus and Ryan Rosillo.

Speaker 41 How dare you insult my skeet?

Speaker 14 I'm just saying.

Speaker 40 Starting to get on the wrong side of 30.

Speaker 41 They're not like eggs.

Speaker 175 Guys can have kids.

Speaker 41 I'm pretty sure like billionaires have kids until they're 90.

Speaker 116 Welcome to part of my take presented by Cash App.

Speaker 45 No idea what date this is.

Speaker 51 Well, it is June.

Speaker 97 I'll tell you what June

Speaker 148 is.

Speaker 41 It is your son's birthday.

Speaker 74 Yeah, so hopefully, knock on wood, my son has been born.

Speaker 43 A healthy

Speaker 43 child.

Speaker 79 This is the future. Thanks.

Speaker 100 Just like you.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I haven't figured out a name.

Speaker 36 I'm going to. LeBron.

Speaker 60 Sniff and look at him.

Speaker 72 LeBron.

Speaker 176 I always wanted to name a kid Reggie.

Speaker 3 Well, I've actually been...

Speaker 6 Yeah, Reggie's a good name.

Speaker 65 I like that.

Speaker 114 What's wrong with that? No.

Speaker 144 What if you named your kid Hank Hates Cats?

Speaker 77 Ooh, that's pretty good.

Speaker 88 All right, so we should set up.

Speaker 13 I'm going to switch out of that one, huh?

Speaker 178 No, top of the head.

Speaker 41 How long has that one been in my draft?

Speaker 72 So

Speaker 180 this is the emergency podcast that we're taping in May.

Speaker 24 It's Rossillo, Titus, PFT, myself.

Speaker 4 We're in LA.

Speaker 26 It's the end of Grit Week.

Speaker 172 Could Tate not make it?

Speaker 51 Tate is in the backyard smoking trees.

Speaker 129 Is that bad that I say that?

Speaker 98 Where it's L.A.,

Speaker 55 it's LA.

Speaker 116 So we are doing like an evergreen episode that we can run the day that my child is born so that you still have part of my take.

Speaker 45 And we thought, what better way to do that than have a life advice to your former self?

Speaker 68 And what better way to do that than have Ryan Rossillo on, who is going through a midlife crisis.

Speaker 20 Yeah,

Speaker 147 both accurate.

Speaker 98 Like my joggers, those are pretty nice.

Speaker 147 You are wearing joggers.

Speaker 41 Do you not wear socks?

Speaker 48 Are you in the CrossFit now?

Speaker 176 Well, I mean, personal best are sort of my thing now.

Speaker 37 Yeah, that's actually one of my life advice to my former.

Speaker 165 I like that.

Speaker 176 When you see a PR on Instagram, that's a personal record. 20.
You're 20.

Speaker 55 Now we're cooking.

Speaker 55 Now we're cooking.

Speaker 51 20 years old.

Speaker 100 You're half a brain.

Speaker 11 Yep. Third of a brain.

Speaker 144 No matter how smart you think you are, you're an idiot.

Speaker 91 Well, that's the problem with 20.

Speaker 119 Yeah.

Speaker 116 Is that you think you're smart, but you actually only have having a third of a brain,

Speaker 116 you can't realize that you only have a third of a brain.

Speaker 26 You think you got a full brain.

Speaker 176 No, when you're 20 and you've only been 20, I know this sounds simple, but this is why everyone older than you hates you because they all went through the exact same thing where it's like, I got everything figured out,

Speaker 176 and then you just realize you don't. And it doesn't mean you're not smart.
It doesn't mean you're not creative. Like when I think about creative people, usually those peak years are in those 20s.

Speaker 176 You know, you're seeing things for the first time, you're experiencing them in new ways, and you're reacting. And then it's like, you know, I think most creative people,

Speaker 176 there's special ones, but there's some that's like, hey, you just kind of had like one or two really good ideas when you were young, and then it just, you get to hang on for a while.

Speaker 176 That's most of this stuff. Music, I mean, how many bands do you go, you know, what I liked was their seventh album.
Yes. Like, it just doesn't really happen.

Speaker 176 So that's where if I'm young, I kind of want to be like, fuck you to everybody older who's telling me what's up.

Speaker 176 But we're talking like the general population here, just the normalcy of going through it.

Speaker 176 You can't have any of this perspective that you're going to need and you're definitely going to have a little bit later.

Speaker 176 So nobody really wants to, like, they may respect you and be cordial and talk to you, but they still think you're an idiot when you leave the room. Yeah.

Speaker 176 And you need to know that when you're 20 because you don't want to believe it. You're listening to this.
You're like, that's not true. Screw you guys.

Speaker 176 The safest bet in the world is that when you turn 30, you're going to go, I can't believe I thought the way I did about everything. It's not like your political beliefs change, your morals change.

Speaker 176 It's just, it's hard to explain, but another third of life experience makes you realize like all the shit that I thought was so important, and I just, I would say I'd finished it this way, is all the stuff you think is so important almost isn't.

Speaker 67 Here's my question, though, as the old man in the room, does that ever end?

Speaker 67 Does this cycle of like, you know, because like the whole reason I got off Facebook was because when Facebook started doing the, hey, you posted this three years ago, thought you'd like to see this.

Speaker 67 That was it. I didn't give a shit about the privacy.
I didn't give a shit about the memes or the fake news or anything else.

Speaker 67 It was, I would log into Facebook and be like, remember when you posted this three years ago? And then I would cringe and I'd be like, God, I was the worst three years ago.

Speaker 67 Thank God I have it figured out now. And then three years pass and then I do it again.
You're like, wait, I was an asshole.

Speaker 39 Does that ever end?

Speaker 67 Like, when you get in your 40s, are you looking back at when you were 36 and you're like, man, bad posts never end, I don't think.

Speaker 98 No.

Speaker 176 Because I could go back and see a tweet that somebody replied to that I wrote three years later and I thought it was hilarious. Yeah.
And they go, that wasn't even funny.

Speaker 176 So I don't think that ever stops.

Speaker 135 I hate that.

Speaker 28 I harassed you for like a full year and a half on Twitter.

Speaker 168 Yeah, because you harassed me so much, I wasn't ever going to give you.

Speaker 79 Yeah, and that wasn't very funny. That was

Speaker 55 20s-year-old.

Speaker 67 Like, how far back can you go in your tweet history to find something that's genuinely funny?

Speaker 100 One week later,

Speaker 55 one week.

Speaker 80 I think a day old.

Speaker 60 I'm still sometimes like, oh, what was that?

Speaker 183 So, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore, and it's Mount Rushmore of things that you are elite at.

Speaker 22 So, it is, it could be as obscure, specific as you want, but it's things that you think that you're elite at that 99% of the world can't do as well as you can.

Speaker 176 I love this conversation because I spend time thinking, like, what am I closest to the number one world ranking in?

Speaker 101 Yes.

Speaker 44 I can tell you do that all the time.

Speaker 83 You wake up and do that.

Speaker 41 Are we going snake style?

Speaker 44 Yeah, why don't Titus start?

Speaker 55 I don't want to start.

Speaker 44 Titus, you start.

Speaker 67 I don't want to start because I have some weird ones, and

Speaker 67 I need to read the room on how weird we're going to go.

Speaker 168 Your content's always good.

Speaker 71 I wouldn't worry about it. I'll start.

Speaker 41 Which way are we going?

Speaker 184 We'll go over still and then me, then Titus doesn't want to go to the background.

Speaker 45 All right.

Speaker 41 I am elite at changing the channel from CBS to Fox on NFL Sunday, going back to the game that I really want to be watching right as the first play starts after a commercial break.

Speaker 21 Like immediately.

Speaker 37 Yes.

Speaker 41 As the ball is being snapped.

Speaker 26 That's good. Amazing at it.

Speaker 185 All my other friends suck at it.

Speaker 83 I nail it. So you only have one TV.

Speaker 163 No.

Speaker 144 Well, I used to only have one TV.

Speaker 104 Now I watch Red Zone.

Speaker 46 You don't save any money.

Speaker 147 Yeah, you mean of me.

Speaker 67 If you would have kept the $125,000 your job, you'd have more TVs.

Speaker 12 That's a good point.

Speaker 185 It is a good skill to be able to go back and forth at the exact right moment.

Speaker 124 Yeah, because you've sat in a room with a guy who just has no feel.

Speaker 72 No feel.

Speaker 176 So you're like, hey, just hand it over.

Speaker 45 Is there anything worse than sitting in a room when you're over the age of maybe 17 and not having the remote?

Speaker 176 Well, it's painful. We had a roommate who used to, when he went up to the bathroom, he'd keep it in his pocket.

Speaker 176 So that when he came back, he was still in control.

Speaker 128 And nobody wanted to touch it because that remote has to be done.

Speaker 176 That's the other part of it, too, because he wasn't the cleanest guy.

Speaker 54 We used to lose it so much that we taped the remote to a big 2x4.

Speaker 55 Same. And that was exactly what I was doing.

Speaker 176 But the first time I saw a guy do that, I went out and bought a 2x4.

Speaker 147 We literally just had it.

Speaker 55 We just passed around the 2x4.

Speaker 176 But the other part, the downside of that, is when you're that young and you're just having nights where you just flop down on the couch, and all of a sudden you're like, ah, yeah. He just gets

Speaker 100 four.

Speaker 71 Like, what is that? Like, oh, it's my remote.

Speaker 176 It's a foundation.

Speaker 134 It's a deck post.

Speaker 4 That was a good one, though, PFT.

Speaker 41 Rousseau, why don't you start?

Speaker 176 If I really want to lock in, nobody's better at me than stopping the gas pump at just a straight

Speaker 176 piece of power.

Speaker 71 I'm so good at it.

Speaker 55 But hold up.

Speaker 67 Do we need that skill anymore, though?

Speaker 176 You don't, but I don't want to lose it.

Speaker 100 No.

Speaker 67 That is a bygone era where you had like $20 in your pocket and you can pump before you pay, right? And so you got to stop it on $20 because if you go over $20, you're like, fuck.

Speaker 67 Now I got to go have a conversation with the guy. My bad.
Whatever.

Speaker 72 But now

Speaker 67 you have to prepay, or you just use your card and, like, what's the point of stopping it even?

Speaker 168 I just like to see if I still have it.

Speaker 176 I look at it, and I just start going 950, and then I just go,

Speaker 41 I know what was your number. Were you a 20 guy or 20?

Speaker 141 Yeah, 20.

Speaker 72 20 on the 20th.

Speaker 176 20 was a lot back in the day. If I had 20.

Speaker 67 But I think you're fine, though, because that's what I mean.

Speaker 182 Yeah, I get it, man.

Speaker 55 Credit cards.

Speaker 153 No, the kids growing up, they're not going to be as good.

Speaker 149 You can

Speaker 147 be the guy forever.

Speaker 55 You're going to be an all-time great. You're like...

Speaker 72 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I'm like Bill Russell rebounding number five.

Speaker 88 Yeah, no one's ever going to touch you on this because.

Speaker 176 I'm sorry, Titus. I went at you pretty hard there.

Speaker 154 All right.

Speaker 4 I am, I think I've told a couple of you guys this, but I am.

Speaker 87 I think I'm like number one in the world at finding open tables at pack bars or seats in general.

Speaker 116 Because of my figure and I don't like to stand very much and I'd rather be home than be at a bar if I can't sit.

Speaker 45 I will always be able to.

Speaker 4 I'll fucking be able to go out in the back and like pull in tables they don't use anymore and set myself up in the back.

Speaker 51 I also, if you do the stare,

Speaker 26 it will get anyone uncomfortable.

Speaker 116 I do the stare at people. Like if they're like pretty close to being done and do the stare and they'll get up so much faster.

Speaker 74 I will always find an open table at a place.

Speaker 67 The few times that we've been out together, I've proven by this.

Speaker 100 Yes.

Speaker 176 And now that you bragged about it, you have to deliver so there's extra pressure on you.

Speaker 87 No, but my friends like, we'll go to a bar and I'll just be like, hold on one sec. Like it's packed.

Speaker 69 You stare?

Speaker 122 Doesn't that kind of suck though?

Speaker 3 Well, no, I don't stare at like random people.

Speaker 91 It's when the check is there.

Speaker 116 If the check's there and they're like, like, dilly-dallying.

Speaker 176 Look, it's going really well, and they haven't finished the conversation. Wow.

Speaker 54 I mean, look, I feel out the situation, but I'm just telling you, if you come out with me, I will get us a seat.

Speaker 82 Because I will not stand up.

Speaker 41 You ever gone to a table that maybe the check's on the table and it's a super crowded bar, and you sit down at the table before they even get up?

Speaker 177 Oh, I clean the table myself.

Speaker 149 Oh, I will.

Speaker 116 I will bust my own table so I can have the table.

Speaker 127 While the people are still sitting there?

Speaker 186 No, they'll get up and I'll bust it, and then I'll be like, and I also get

Speaker 51 the best move to do is to talk to the people that are already sitting there.

Speaker 144 Be like, hey, you guys leaving soon? Okay, cool.

Speaker 4 Can I have this table when you go? Okay, cool.

Speaker 185 So if anyone comes here, just say that I got rights to it.

Speaker 91 And then you maybe just kind of give them a little look: like, there'll be violence if this doesn't go down the right way.

Speaker 176 Well, it's a good thing you're not in better shape because you're so big.

Speaker 26 I'll sit on you. Look at this shit.

Speaker 65 If this doesn't go the right way.

Speaker 176 Huge Midwest guy. Friends of J.J.

Speaker 154 Watt, I heard.

Speaker 91 I am exceptional at moving well through crowds.

Speaker 50 So I'm able to get from point A to point B in a big crowd very fast.

Speaker 55 And lose anyone.

Speaker 67 What? Especially when a table's open.

Speaker 22 When a table's open, but also dealing with big crowds.

Speaker 116 I don't like them, but I can manage them very well. And I also like,

Speaker 58 I'm the guy, I was at the Bucs.

Speaker 84 Well, this is going to be way later, but I was at the Bucs

Speaker 91 Raptors game.

Speaker 37 Number two, Eastern Conference Final.

Speaker 116 Get there, the whole section's standing up for like the first four minutes.

Speaker 4 I was like, Are we doing this? Are we really doing this?

Speaker 70 Yeah, and I gave a real, real loud, down in front, and everyone fucking sat down.

Speaker 143 So, I can manipulate crowds very well.

Speaker 21 And that's not even your team.

Speaker 55 No,

Speaker 47 I don't give a fuck about this person.

Speaker 55 I just turned around and told you to show you.

Speaker 58 No, I just gave a nice, if you do a loud down in front, everyone would be like, fuck shit.

Speaker 128 Am I, oh, damn it, my bad.

Speaker 55 They should have seen, but that's actually more of indictment on Bucks fans.

Speaker 100 Like, why were they sitting down?

Speaker 55 Well, because it was like rocking.

Speaker 187 No, but it was like, it was like, I didn't pick it when it was like after a Giannis dunk.

Speaker 45 I picked it like four minutes in, and it was like, maybe there's a TV timeout or something.

Speaker 37 It just went down like dumb.

Speaker 4 And I just fucking gave the perfect one, and just boom, everyone was down. So yeah, I move well and manipulate through crowds very well.

Speaker 187 Also do the hot soup on a

Speaker 91 packed subway train in New York.

Speaker 118 If you're trying to get to the exit, just give a quick hot soup coming through, and everyone will move out of the way.

Speaker 44 Swear to God,

Speaker 55 it's so stupid, but it works every time.

Speaker 115 Every time. Who taught you that?

Speaker 55 I fucking say it every time.

Speaker 55 If I can't get through,

Speaker 47 if I can't get through, you just scream.

Speaker 79 Yeah, I've said that.

Speaker 187 That's only emerging. Is that a skill?

Speaker 97 Yeah, that's the most Midwestern thing I've ever heard of.

Speaker 132 That is a skill. I don't know.

Speaker 16 Does that count as being

Speaker 179 something? Yes, manipulating crowds.

Speaker 67 So you just behave like a lunatic and people get to get fucking sleeping.

Speaker 117 That also is another way to say it.

Speaker 171 I've got a gun.

Speaker 119 Yeah, whatever happens.

Speaker 180 I mean, that actually would probably work, dude.

Speaker 147 A bowl on us.

Speaker 147 You know what?

Speaker 186 You want to share that with me on Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 180 I'm pretty good at it.

Speaker 154 Hey, listen, it's a skill.

Speaker 45 I'm sorry. I think I'm elated it.

Speaker 133 Yelling hot soup.

Speaker 176 I love the thing.

Speaker 176 I love the idea of looking at you yelling hot soup and like all humble.

Speaker 80 And it was really your face is so humble.

Speaker 55 That's what earnest.

Speaker 67 In your mind, you think that it's working and everyone thinks you have suit, but really they're just...

Speaker 55 This thing everyone's kind of fucking looted.

Speaker 117 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 132 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 6 Point A to point B.

Speaker 20 It doesn't matter how he got there.

Speaker 101 All right.

Speaker 41 All right, next up, we have one of my favorite interviews of the year, Ike Taylor, former Steeler.

Speaker 41 He had some great stories talking about chasing rabbits down in New Orleans and sharing a couple fun sit-downs that he had with James Harrison and how James Harrison has interacted with his own children.

Speaker 37 Okay, we now welcome on two-time Super Bowl champion.

Speaker 189 Two times.

Speaker 37 Two-time Super Bowl champion Ike Taylor.

Speaker 13 Two Taylor.

Speaker 55 Oh, you won four?

Speaker 189 No, I was just saying two times.

Speaker 48 You want two more? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you wear your rings?

Speaker 189 Not at all.

Speaker 55 Ever?

Speaker 190 Not at all.

Speaker 105 Okay, so it's Ike Taylor formerly from the Pittsburgh Steelers, two-time Super Bowl champion.

Speaker 72 Where are your rings?

Speaker 12 At the house. Okay.

Speaker 28 Can I just say that it's really one and a half rings?

Speaker 11 Why got to be one and a half?

Speaker 41 Because the refs got the other half of the ring in the Seahawks Super Bowl.

Speaker 190 No, not at all.

Speaker 69 And also

Speaker 37 that fumble by Bettis against the Colts.

Speaker 11 That was pretty lucky.

Speaker 190 Right, but that wasn't our fault that we won.

Speaker 150 Yeah,

Speaker 55 Taterjack and Marie. You should give that to Vanderbilt.
You bringing up one and a quarter.

Speaker 101 One and a quarter from the Colts.

Speaker 84 Yeah, one and a quarter is really what it should be.

Speaker 72 Boy, y'all hard on the pimp.

Speaker 49 I heard that

Speaker 61 you used to train your quickness in a very unusual way.

Speaker 41 You used to chase animals around.

Speaker 114 My uncle was old school.

Speaker 190 And I didn't know that that was kind of the norm

Speaker 14 in Florida.

Speaker 190 Like, the boys go in the fields and they really chase rabbits.

Speaker 100 Like, that's what they do.

Speaker 189 Like, I was just doing that because my uncle was like, man, this will get you better and faster and quicker.

Speaker 100 Yeah.

Speaker 190 So, I was just doing that just because I always had that drive of good work ethic. But you go down in Florida where Fred Taylor is from, where Santonio Holmes is from.
They call it Muck City. Yeah.

Speaker 100 Muck City, Florida.

Speaker 55 That's what them boys really do. Yeah.
Them boys really chase rabbits.

Speaker 44 rabbits.

Speaker 15 They run into that high grass corruption.

Speaker 190 Yeah. And they get to chasing.

Speaker 94 Yeah. Makes you quick, right?

Speaker 190 I mean, it's all mental.

Speaker 65 Have you ever caught a rabbit?

Speaker 55 No, I got close.

Speaker 191 You know, it's the ski skirt.

Speaker 150 They got the ski skirt.

Speaker 55 I'm not built. If you get me straight ahead, I'm building.

Speaker 100 But the ski skirt.

Speaker 55 Right.

Speaker 112 So you touched one? You ever touched one?

Speaker 129 Like a flag football? You get them down on flag football?

Speaker 55 With a rabbit? Yeah.

Speaker 190 No, I mean, I touched a human being in flag football.

Speaker 94 No, but I'm saying, like, if you've gotten that close where you've like,

Speaker 72 I've gotten real close and got nervous.

Speaker 6 Yeah, because what are you going to do?

Speaker 190 What do you do when you're going to be like, I'm going to catch the rabbit, then what?

Speaker 27 The dog chasing the car, and then they finally get it.

Speaker 95 Uh-oh.

Speaker 166 Does Big Ben does he ever?

Speaker 64 I don't want to say fake injuries, but sometimes the injuries seem more severe than they actually are.

Speaker 87 Like a dog, like walking on like a cold sidewalk and it yelps.

Speaker 105 It's like, come on, you're fine, dog.

Speaker 20 Anything like that?

Speaker 13 Am I explaining it well?

Speaker 191 You're explaining it too well.

Speaker 112 He's tough as hell.

Speaker 55 There's no other quarterback in the league

Speaker 190 can play in Pittsburgh the way Seven

Speaker 189 have played.

Speaker 100 Now, it's a lot of injuries Seven shouldn't have played.

Speaker 191 Yeah, but he's just a tough.

Speaker 190 That's what makes Seven Seven. Just a tough son of a gun.

Speaker 55 And there's probably a lot of other injuries that,

Speaker 190 7-man, come on, man, stop all that beating.

Speaker 62 He got the walking boot on.

Speaker 190 Like, seven, like, real, like,

Speaker 185 that's the road we're going down.

Speaker 6 That's what we're doing today.

Speaker 168 That's what we're doing today, seven.

Speaker 147 Like, we, like,

Speaker 189 so you're going to have the boot on on Monday.

Speaker 191 But Tuesday, you're going to be all good.

Speaker 55 Yeah. It's just going to be all

Speaker 55 the way down.

Speaker 41 Put the boot on. He's going to be going around like the Michelin man.

Speaker 187 When the boot goes on, you're not nervous.

Speaker 101 I ain't.

Speaker 187 Because you know it's coming off in a day

Speaker 190 it's been then please I got a camera yeah seven I got you it's it's been plenty of times where

Speaker 190 he's haven't said anything and you'll be like damn how did he play with that injury yeah And it's been a few times where he's said something.

Speaker 41 they used to always show that graphic of him after like five that would show like the human body and every single part of it had like red lines of pain shooting out be like here's an injury his whole body was like banged up

Speaker 190 but we we all knew and understood could nobody play

Speaker 190 That position in Pittsburgh like seven but seven.

Speaker 163 We're going to be very sad when he retires because he's he's a football.

Speaker 55 Oh yeah, we killed him because he makes football fun.

Speaker 189 100%. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And we did everything together.

Speaker 100 We did everything. Like, to this day, I'm still in the 20-something-man group tech in that Super Bowl.

Speaker 190 To this day, a 20-something-man group man

Speaker 191 text.

Speaker 190 And it's just our kids call each other uncle, like Uncle Troy, Uncle Ike, Uncle Chris Hope, Uncle Joey Porter, Uncle Casey Hampton. Joey.

Speaker 96 Like, it's just, it's just everything is uncle.

Speaker 190 But one thing I did like about, you know, Coach Cowell and Coach Tomley, man, it's just he let our our sons run around in that locker room.

Speaker 190 That's cool, which was huge because my son till this day, he's 12. Yeah, he still understands and remembers what was going on.
Like, hey, man, because my son played football.

Speaker 191 Like, why you be trying to run through these boys? He was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul out.

Speaker 122 That's a bad thing.

Speaker 191 Yeah, he was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul out of these kids

Speaker 55 at 12.

Speaker 41 Yeah, so they can come in the locker room as long as you don't Instagram live or Facebook live while while coaching talking about it.

Speaker 94 You can just see Jim's Harrison sitting there sundown and just being like, hey, listen.

Speaker 96 And dead serious.

Speaker 93 You just take the soul out of these kids.

Speaker 179 And dead serious.

Speaker 132 Deepo was dead serious.

Speaker 101 Like, hey, man, come here.

Speaker 150 Come here, Lil Ivan. That's my son's name.

Speaker 189 He'll come over there.

Speaker 39 He'd be like, yes, sir.

Speaker 56 You play football?

Speaker 55 Yes, sir.

Speaker 117 You in it good?

Speaker 100 Well, I'm just starting. When you hit him, make sure you take the soul out of them, okay?

Speaker 30 Okay, next up, we have our good friend who we just became good friends with, John Rostein.

Speaker 2 Obviously, he had some controversy these past couple weeks, but we have his back.

Speaker 19 We will still fight anyone.

Speaker 21 What controversy? Just being polite to coaches?

Speaker 35 Being really nice to coaches, having friends.

Speaker 72 The art of the friendship.

Speaker 41 Yeah, the art of the thank you note is alive and well.

Speaker 75 Good luck, coach.

Speaker 105 But yeah, here he is: John Rostein, and a little bit of his crazy, crazy brain.

Speaker 41 i want to talk about a couple of these tweets and get some explanation for the hits yeah uh so you have this is march that one is taking on its own life this this is march is like well and then like have you patented it what have you do you have like uh rights to that i don't have the rights to it yet you need we should do that we got it so actually just declared that we got it look maybe down the road but nothing yet okay and then you also have the spin-off this is only november this is only december to let you know that it's not march correct right so you also are almost trying to stay on brand yeah you're like a calendar calendar, too.

Speaker 11 Like we know what month it is if you follow you.

Speaker 10 And you know we only sleep in May.

Speaker 103 What about tougher than a long weekend at your in-laws?

Speaker 10 For West Virginia basketball.

Speaker 132 You only use it for West Virginia?

Speaker 72 I only use that for West Virginia.

Speaker 10 Okay. Here's the thing about

Speaker 10 West Virginia. It's interesting.
I went to a practice a couple years ago, you know, when obviously Hugs was the coach, and it's three hours, and it's all the three hours.

Speaker 10 I was like sitting there, and it's like hand-to-hand combat. They're scrimmaging, and they go through nine possessions each for a team, and they're keeping score, and it's two to two.

Speaker 10 And like, I'm sitting there, and I'm just like, this is like Russell Crowe and Gladiator. There we go.

Speaker 117 Like, that a little bit.

Speaker 10 That was like what it was getting into, and I couldn't believe it. So, I was just like, you know, I'm just sitting there in practice.
Hugs is walking around. He's going hard after.

Speaker 10 I remember Sagaba Kanate, who you remember. Javon Carter was on the team

Speaker 10 for 15 years. And I was just kind of like this.
I was like, I was like, this practice is like tougher than a weekend at somebody's in-laws, and I'm not even married. I was like, wait a minute.

Speaker 148 That's cool.

Speaker 56 He has gone.

Speaker 10 So then I was like, for the first game, for the first game, I'm going to tweet it.

Speaker 73 Did you write it down?

Speaker 10 Wrote it down in my notebook. And the best part is, this year they were struggling.
And when I tweeted it, all the West Virginia fans are like, God, how I missed this tweet.

Speaker 70 I don't want to take it for granted anymore.

Speaker 41 I like that. I like the fact that you're not even married, but you just know how tough a week is at the end of the last year.

Speaker 10 Halford Stories. I've been single in New York for a long time.

Speaker 41 No, I'm not single now, but okay, I've got one here that I actually have a bone to pick with. West Virginia is like a Fortune 500 company.

Speaker 172 That's Villanova.

Speaker 72 I'm sorry.

Speaker 41 Villanova is like a Fortune 500 company. It runs itself.

Speaker 10 Do you know how Fortune 500 companies work like with the ceo and board of directors i i i tweak that i tweak that one and now it's just villanova basketball has become a fortune 500 company and now it's just villanova basketball a fortune 500 company that was in the early stages like i'm thinking like tofer grace in good company remember that when they started

Speaker 10 you know with the movie with dennis quaid you know scarlet johanson before she became scarlet johansen but that was more the early stages so-and-so how did you see the movie in the last five years in the last five years

Speaker 10 what did i see recently creed two i was very disappointed.

Speaker 10 The original Creed, like, you give me Ricky Garbage.

Speaker 132 But that's a movie from the 80s.

Speaker 54 So of course you saw that.

Speaker 93 Creed 2.

Speaker 177 No, I'm saying, like, it's the Rocky Jurassic World.

Speaker 69 Yeah, dude, that's from the mid-90s.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 22 I read that you watch a part of Rocky 2, Rocky 3, or Rocky 4 before every time you go on the air.

Speaker 41 Is that still true?

Speaker 10 That was true.

Speaker 10 I've had to decrease my Rocky influence because my girlfriend was in my apartment. And I have this big plaque in my apartment of Rocky 2, 3, and 4 on one wall.

Speaker 187 I can't believe you're single for this long.

Speaker 10 And then on the other side, there's a picture of Rocky 4 as well. I mean, for a while, you know, that was.

Speaker 55 Rocky consumed your life.

Speaker 72 That was it, man.

Speaker 10 Did you guys think Over the Top was underrated?

Speaker 55 Oh, I love that.

Speaker 161 Over the top is great.

Speaker 72 One of the best.

Speaker 79 Although the little kid is such a

Speaker 10 yeah, but the world does meet nobody halfway.

Speaker 141 There we go. Right.

Speaker 58 What about

Speaker 45 a VCU home game more life-altering than a 10-day trip to Europe?

Speaker 118 So, a couple questions here.

Speaker 116 One is, have you done a 10-day trip to Europe?

Speaker 10 Never been to Europe.

Speaker 55 I've never been to Europe.

Speaker 10 No, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never been to Europe, I've never been to Europe, I've never had a cup of coffee, I've never played golf, and I've never had a glass of wine.

Speaker 147 Okay, never had a glass of wine.

Speaker 10 No, I tried it once, it didn't stick.

Speaker 16 Okay, all right, so

Speaker 112 you've heard that going to Europe for 10 days is life.

Speaker 10 True story.

Speaker 10 I was back and forth with a girl for two years, and you know, polar opposites, really nice girl or whatever, but this was like peak shaka okay and like you know we would get into arguments and stuff she'd be like oh you got to get more cultured like you haven't you know even been to europe whatever i was like hey but you haven't been to a home game at the seagull center

Speaker 10 and i was and i was like this was peak shaka this was trayvion graham breante weber like you want to do push-ups on picket fences when they put the press on and i would so this was kind of my subtle way after we broke up to kind of like send you know a shot across the battle i like that

Speaker 41 tweeting your scope now i really like it because every time you put that out there i know that somebody's just getting like the knife twisted have you ever explained these Because these are so great.

Speaker 54 Like, these make them so much better.

Speaker 39 No, but please go on.

Speaker 45 I mean, all right, here's another one.

Speaker 80 We've got a few of these.

Speaker 41 Virginia basketball, a thing of beauty.

Speaker 10 2014-15 season. Kentucky starts out 38-0.
And people are killing Virginia. Virginia's the other team.
Remember, until Justin Anderson got hurt, people are saying, well, Virginia could beat Kentucky.

Speaker 10 And I'm watching them game after game.

Speaker 30 Only one team could beat Kentucky that year.

Speaker 145 Wisconsin, but they lost to Duke.

Speaker 133 Okay.

Speaker 10 But I'm watching, you know, Virginia play

Speaker 10 throughout the season. And if you're a basketball purist, you know, not turning it over, taking good shots, and the way they could control the game.

Speaker 39 You like that pack line defense or no one?

Speaker 10 I have great respect. And look, I know we're taping this before the NCA tournament.
Virginia has went 33-3 in the ACC regular season over the last two years.

Speaker 10 It's not Duke. You have to tip your cap at some point.
So I was just like, this is a thing of beauty. And I was like, wait a minute.
Everybody says it's ugly.

Speaker 95 And I was like, I'm going to drop this.

Speaker 39 And all of a sudden, it's like, you know.

Speaker 62 Do you have your notebook on you right now?

Speaker 10 I have one in my bag.

Speaker 100 You're like,

Speaker 73 in case genius strikes.

Speaker 10 I always sleep with a notebook and a pen not far away because

Speaker 168 if I get a thought. Yeah, we knew that.

Speaker 154 Yeah, you didn't have to tell us.

Speaker 41 Okay, the next interview.

Speaker 61 This is with Blake Bortles.

Speaker 41 It was Blake and Jared Goff in Jared's guest house in Los Angeles.

Speaker 41 And Blake was talking to us about how he bought a Tesla, which is an all-time story, the reason why he bought it and how he bought it.

Speaker 50 What is grit? How do you define grit?

Speaker 22 A lot of people have been saying California guys don't have grit.

Speaker 120 Is that right? Yeah.

Speaker 68 A lot of SoCal isn't gritty.

Speaker 33 What are you guys doing here?

Speaker 185 Kind of talk.

Speaker 141 I mean, grit is like just being like in the dirt, I guess.

Speaker 114 Like I think of like dirt.

Speaker 11 I think of like a muddy field.

Speaker 95 Yeah.

Speaker 95 Ooh, close your eyes. Everyone's like,

Speaker 157 or like it's like 100 degrees out in like a summer practice and you don't have much grass on the field and it's like like dusty, dusty out there.

Speaker 41 Yeah, dusty pants.

Speaker 100 Global warmth is super dry.

Speaker 41 You got dust in the mouth.

Speaker 72 California's in a drought.

Speaker 95 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 87 Hopefully, no more wildfires.

Speaker 55 Well, actually,

Speaker 61 if there are wildfires, Jared Goff will put it out.

Speaker 129 That's right.

Speaker 95 Because people forget he put out a wildfire.

Speaker 55 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 11 Thank you guys for your service.

Speaker 15 With a little with a half a bottle of Dasani.

Speaker 18 That's right.

Speaker 6 Saved California. All right, Buake, what's grit for you?

Speaker 142 Go ahead.

Speaker 33 Grit to me is

Speaker 175 kind of more like an acronym.

Speaker 33 Getting Raunchy in the trenches.

Speaker 72 Oh, okay.

Speaker 33 With two T's, G-R-I-T-T.

Speaker 84 Grit. Yes.

Speaker 37 Yeah, just like the junction boys.

Speaker 41 What about getting Raunchy in the Tesla?

Speaker 44 Because we saw your new fancy California car.

Speaker 41 So Blake's driving an

Speaker 185 electric car. What's up with that?

Speaker 43 A Tesla. A Tesla.

Speaker 175 So the plan

Speaker 175 was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station.

Speaker 13 So now I'd just go to the gas station to buy dip.

Speaker 16 That's a very

Speaker 37 expensive way to quit dipping, but more power to you.

Speaker 12 I actually thought you were joking when I first saw it.

Speaker 157 I thought it was like you were messing around like, oh, I'm in California.

Speaker 55 I'm going to run a Tesla.

Speaker 100 I also wanted to fit in.

Speaker 175 But I have a pickup truck back in Jacksonville, and I was like, I don't really want to bring that out to California.

Speaker 120 Right.

Speaker 175 So I figured I'd buy something where I could fit in.

Speaker 125 So have you gone to the gas station?

Speaker 22 Wait, how does it just plug it in at home? Yeah, and there's a charger at the facility. So when you drive to work, to the Rams facility, do you actually drive or do you just do auto?

Speaker 175 No, I let it just get on the highway and like you double-click the thing twice and it just drives you all the way to the right.

Speaker 33 So you're just sitting there like scrolling through your phone?

Speaker 175 Yeah, I kind of check the news and see what's going on.

Speaker 110 It's incredible.

Speaker 175 It beeps like every 60 seconds and you got to touch the wheel and then it just...

Speaker 11 You don't let you know you're alive?

Speaker 95 Yeah.

Speaker 95 You can't take a nap or something.

Speaker 41 Like eat breakfast in your car on the way to work.

Speaker 175 You can, yeah.

Speaker 41 That's pretty sweet.

Speaker 72 Tell them how you bought it.

Speaker 104 That actually, wait, but hold on.

Speaker 11 Before you tell us how you bought it, that actually seems like the perfect car to be able to dip in.

Speaker 145 It's perfect. You just get pulled.

Speaker 72 You don't have to worry about your hands, like where the bottle is.

Speaker 55 There's no more

Speaker 42 bottle between your legs.

Speaker 55 Yeah, you ended up trying to pull one out while you're like mid-driving.

Speaker 47 So, technically,

Speaker 110 you should probably safer.

Speaker 99 Pick it up and get it. Very safe.

Speaker 73 You ended up getting like a trip chamber just for dipping.

Speaker 100 That's what the Tesla is.

Speaker 41 They should market themselves like that. They put out a camo version of the car.

Speaker 36 I think the Venn diagram.

Speaker 73 A Masioke Tesla?

Speaker 120 Yeah, the Venn diagram of people who dip and people on Teslas.

Speaker 104 Don't touch.

Speaker 73 Probably just Blake. Yeah, Just Blake portals standing there.

Speaker 3 All right, so Hot, tells the story how you bought it.

Speaker 175 So I needed like an SUV because I have a truck and I wanted something like a Tahoe or something like that just to drive around.

Speaker 175 And I was kind of looking at websites and then I ended up on the Tesla website and it was like, you know, design your own. So I'm like, I'm as well see what I can do here.

Speaker 175 And then I got to the last page and there was a buy now button.

Speaker 55 And I was like, well, I got to hit this.

Speaker 192 I got a call immediately, like, hey, congratulations on your Tesla purchase.

Speaker 158 Like,

Speaker 147 I did shoes.

Speaker 72 Yeah, right.

Speaker 98 You like the Nicker Zach?

Speaker 37 Customize my own.

Speaker 108 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 44 I guess that's kind of how they're doing it now.

Speaker 83 So, did you have to enter a credit card number for the buy it now button?

Speaker 144 Or it was just like on your honor for it?

Speaker 83 Immediately called me.

Speaker 175 It was just like, I was sitting over the wiring instructions.

Speaker 7 Oh, my God.

Speaker 55 All right.

Speaker 70 That's we got one.

Speaker 57 Okay, before we get to our last two interviews, a quick word from our our friends at Me Undies.

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Speaker 22 Literally so soft, it should be illegal.

Speaker 64 We wear our meundies every single day.

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Speaker 28 I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I have like 50 pairs.

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Speaker 41 I just made the selection. I switched it up from the wild patterns to the bold ones.

Speaker 41 And they're just like really bright colors.

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Speaker 3 It's cold out. It's dark out at like 4 p.m.

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Speaker 36 Okay, we're going to wrap up our interviews with,

Speaker 149 we have a double here.

Speaker 87 It's Rome cubed when PFT and Devlin and Frank Caliendo did Rome on Rome on Rome, and then when PFT did his Patrick Mahomes impression for Patrick Mahomes himself.

Speaker 18 So these were great moments from 2019.

Speaker 27 And we'll wrap up with this, and then we have more best of coming up after this.

Speaker 72 Well, I think we talked about Rome last time.

Speaker 55 He didn't talk to me, but didn't look at me.

Speaker 61 Yes.

Speaker 182 He does that with everyone.

Speaker 41 What did he give you on a scale of one to 10?

Speaker 168 Didn't he?

Speaker 132 He gives everybody five.

Speaker 170 Negative five.

Speaker 193 Cut his vault.

Speaker 14 Send this clown back to Chino Hills.

Speaker 73 How great is this?

Speaker 65 What is going on right now?

Speaker 55 No idea.

Speaker 73 I'd like to cut on this guy's jib.

Speaker 65 Legend. Right now, what we're doing is trying to figure out the timing of the other guy's Rome impression.

Speaker 161 That

Speaker 22 is absolutely correct.

Speaker 55 You just mouthed a full sentence in between words.

Speaker 195 That is ridiculous.

Speaker 65 PFTTFFF.

Speaker 99 We're going to cut this guy's vibe. This guy's a clown.

Speaker 150 Absolute clown.

Speaker 55 You know who's a clown?

Speaker 194 The dude who lives in the sewer in that Stephen King movie.

Speaker 121 Ooh.

Speaker 27 That's a scary movie. Don't bring that up.

Speaker 41 No clutch game on that guy. Don't bring that up.

Speaker 98 He does not have it.

Speaker 8 That movie's scary.

Speaker 55 He does not have it at all.

Speaker 42 Great line.

Speaker 95 Great.

Speaker 95 Thanks, bro.

Speaker 194 I feel like I just complimented myself, which is what I'm internally doing constantly.

Speaker 147 Get on there.

Speaker 147 Get on there. Here we go.

Speaker 92 We have a Rome party.

Speaker 72 Great stuff, Rome.

Speaker 182 Let me join.

Speaker 55 Rome

Speaker 55 Cubed.

Speaker 39 This is what we need to do.

Speaker 147 We need to get on our cell phones at the Vatican and call each other.

Speaker 65 Preach.

Speaker 55 Roman, Roman, Rome.

Speaker 72 I love it. Are you getting this?

Speaker 22 I call this the Roman Centipede.

Speaker 21 Next up, we got Dan from Segundo.

Speaker 72 Dan, oh, Segundo.

Speaker 159 Dan, hold on a second, guys.

Speaker 65 I hate to cut you off.

Speaker 168 Actually, I love it.

Speaker 39 But the Roman centipede might be the greatest reference I've ever heard.

Speaker 195 We're going to cut each other's bottoms off and connect ourselves and regurgitate takes through our own mouths and a safety guy.

Speaker 55 Roman through Rome.

Speaker 197 Rome's throat and butthole are burning.

Speaker 182 Probably by See Geek. We'll be back after this.

Speaker 42 Dan from Chicago.

Speaker 72 That was Rome.

Speaker 42 or Jesus.

Speaker 147 Rome Cube.

Speaker 25 I forgot the Devlin was in here.

Speaker 102 Infinity was in Rome as well.

Speaker 41 I don't know what just happened. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 87 Do you want to ask him a question?

Speaker 121 Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 178 How good were you at playing 500 when you were a kid? You bet you could throw the football a quarter mile right straight through the clouds.

Speaker 76 All I heard was football as a kid, and I didn't play football until I was like in high school.

Speaker 55 Patrick, you bitch turned me.

Speaker 39 Throw the ball a quarter mile through the clouds.

Speaker 55 I heard it because because I cannot.

Speaker 178 Patrick, I'm playing 500 with nobody.

Speaker 31 I've never heard myself talk in person, so I can't understand.

Speaker 47 I can't understand.

Speaker 41 Is that better or worse than Coach Reid's?

Speaker 76 No, dude, Coach Reids is on point, man. Okay.
Coach Reed is exactly what I think I sound like. So to me, it's on point at least.

Speaker 41 Okay, next up, we have the Boner Dog saga. 2019 was the year of the Boner Dog.
It was the year that we got to actually pitch the film itself to the Sandman, Adam Sandler, and Kevin Garnett.

Speaker 41 And we got to see it kind of go from just a little idea that we had in the back of Vanny Woodhead into being potentially a major motion pitcher that will be developed over the next two years.

Speaker 66 Yeah, if you've listened to this show, you've heard it happen over the years, but this is everything condensed in a tight fashion.

Speaker 11 Love it.

Speaker 73 You starred, I think you were the star of a number of Adam Sandler movies.

Speaker 41 You're friends with Adam Sandler. We want to pitch you some Adam Sandler movie ideas, and you tell us if you think you would make them.

Speaker 159 You ready?

Speaker 77 Okay.

Speaker 87 All right. First one.

Speaker 138 It's, you know the movie This is 40?

Speaker 92 Jade Appetal? Yeah.

Speaker 104 All right, so this is the sequel.

Speaker 68 It's called This Is Farty and Adam Sandler plays Dr.

Speaker 49 Peter Yu, Dr.

Speaker 105 Pete, P.U., and he is a millionaire proctologist in L.A.

Speaker 104 And it's starring Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, cameos from Kevin Farley, Kevin James, Will Farrell, and you.

Speaker 55 Okay, I like it. Do you think he'd make it? No, I love it.

Speaker 62 So the next movie,

Speaker 68 This one is the exact same plot as Old Yeller.

Speaker 147 No, keep it going.

Speaker 56 I got a gift.

Speaker 147 I'm getting a gift. No, no, no.

Speaker 56 Not a plot.

Speaker 147 It's called Boner Dog.

Speaker 121 Oh, no.

Speaker 47 Boner Dog.

Speaker 41 So it's Old Yeller, except he's got a boner the whole time.

Speaker 95 Wow. That was a great movie.

Speaker 47 Yeah, that thing went by so quickly.

Speaker 121 It only felt like 30 minutes.

Speaker 2 You said earlier in this podcast, if you can look into a director's eyes and feel the movie they're trying to

Speaker 19 make, you're in.

Speaker 98 Yeah,

Speaker 98 yeah, I mean, yes.

Speaker 110 So,

Speaker 61 that was something I said, but I'm boner dogs.

Speaker 67 Yeah, so look into our. I'm looking at

Speaker 55 my eyes, yeah, okay, boner dogs.

Speaker 72 Very boner dogs.

Speaker 122 All right, I'll start.

Speaker 61 Okay, and by the way, the in-the-eyes thing isn't like you don't have to stare into my eyes.

Speaker 41 Oh, but you said in the eye. We're very narrow people.

Speaker 147 The world looks strange. I think I've gathered your vibe just to that pitch.

Speaker 55 Okay, okay.

Speaker 72 Boner dogs.

Speaker 46 Okay, I love it.

Speaker 148 Here's how the name went.

Speaker 55 Go ahead.

Speaker 72 Okay, so yes.

Speaker 11 It's iditarod.

Speaker 6 Do you know the ididarod?

Speaker 87 They're running around in Alaska.

Speaker 41 It's Snow Dogs.

Speaker 55 Sidebar. Hold on.
Rush. What's the movie?

Speaker 101 Rush? I fucking forgot this plot.

Speaker 122 Besides the fact that the dog has a boner.

Speaker 55 All right, so.

Speaker 147 Okay, boner dogs.

Speaker 147 Think about it.

Speaker 72 Boner dogs. What my colleague.

Speaker 72 I could help you write it.

Speaker 41 What my colleague was trying to say, and trying to, the point he was trying to get across is the dog has a boner.

Speaker 72 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 47 The dog has a boner.

Speaker 104 Yeah.

Speaker 41 And so it's a pack of sled dogs, right? And they go out, and they all make fun of this one boner dog because he's got a boner. Yeah.

Speaker 55 And nothing other dogs.

Speaker 42 You got always got a boner dog.

Speaker 93 These flaccid little dog dicks that aren't red.

Speaker 78 And so they get lost out in the wilderness, right?

Speaker 153 Super lost.

Speaker 198 And the only way they can get back is boner dog follows the trail of his boner

Speaker 104 to get back home.

Speaker 55 It's like a little fucking rudder.

Speaker 104 Get this.

Speaker 61 The dogs are played by Kevin Hart.

Speaker 41 Are they voices? It could be animated.

Speaker 46 Either way, your call.

Speaker 55 Oh, I love that.

Speaker 72 One more sidebar. One more side.
Kevin Hart.

Speaker 128 Jack Black.

Speaker 147 Let's make sure that we give Zach the role of the boner. The lead, lead boner.
No, the boner.

Speaker 55 Okay, okay.

Speaker 61 The voice of the boner.

Speaker 72 Redo, redo it.

Speaker 41 Kevin Hart.

Speaker 61 Will Farrell, Adam Sandler,

Speaker 141 David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James, The Rock, Rock Schneider.

Speaker 97 The Rock actually plays.

Speaker 40 Guys, if he can cast that movie, just call it Boner Dogs and you win.

Speaker 55 Okay, but you're not.

Speaker 147 You can do anything.

Speaker 95 I'll be in it.

Speaker 55 I'll cast it. Yeah,

Speaker 143 we're going to give you the voice of the boner.

Speaker 15 Okay, cool.

Speaker 94 We have a movie that we're out in market to and you know Adam Sandler.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you know Adam Sandler.

Speaker 46 So

Speaker 41 Zach Efron's attached.

Speaker 37 Yeah, Zach Efron's loosely attached.

Speaker 141 Wow.

Speaker 87 Yeah, it's called Boner Dogs.

Speaker 66 Boner Dogs. Yeah.
Boner Dogs. Zach Efron is loosely attached.

Speaker 2 We have discussed it with him.

Speaker 66 And he said...

Speaker 55 Sounds interesting. Well, he was like, yeah, he was, yeah.

Speaker 42 Actually, he was kind of...

Speaker 154 He was really into it.

Speaker 46 Yeah, he was.

Speaker 62 He looked us in our eyes.

Speaker 48 That's what he did.

Speaker 40 He was like, I can tell that I'm passionate about it.

Speaker 94 Yeah, so I don't know if you want to get loosely attached, but actually, you already are loosely attached just by setting yourself up.

Speaker 66 Loosely attached is a good name for something.

Speaker 72 Yeah, it's a good band name.

Speaker 54 We basically just pitch it to him, then we're like, now you're loosely attached.

Speaker 98 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 144 Loosely attached.

Speaker 66 Good band name. I think I want to name like a movie that or you know album.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 33 Maybe that's the movie.

Speaker 19 You go around Hollywood and you just tell the movie script to people and then you go to the next person.

Speaker 54 It's like a pyramid scheme for a movie.

Speaker 52 It's it's

Speaker 37 Poner Dogs or this is Farty.

Speaker 33 You can decide which one you want to be loosely attached to.

Speaker 68 We already have Zach Efron,

Speaker 167 who is Adam Sandler.

Speaker 151 Charles Taylor is attached to it.

Speaker 29 Yeah, Dan Patrick.

Speaker 22 We have someone already playing the part of the boner

Speaker 187 in Boner Dogs.

Speaker 200 I like Boner Dogs. It's hookier.

Speaker 98 Okay, so you're in.

Speaker 100 This is easy.

Speaker 63 And you're good friends with Adam Sandler.

Speaker 22 We actually made this script for Adam Sandler.

Speaker 200 Well, I realize I'm not the lead anymore, but if Adam Sander. No, you can be the boner.

Speaker 72 You can be the boner. We're the dog.

Speaker 100 You're not for you. You can be the voice of the boner.

Speaker 88 It's animation.

Speaker 73 You're Adam's dick.

Speaker 192 Oh, it's animated.

Speaker 16 Yeah, so Adam will be the dog, and you'll be be the boner.

Speaker 200 I'm like the little red lipstick.

Speaker 55 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 33 They get lost in the woods, and his boner brings them all the way to the back.

Speaker 62 It's like that.

Speaker 41 It's kind of like a Hansel and Gretel meets Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. They're lost in the woods.
They all make fun of him because he's got a boner all the time.

Speaker 31 And he's dragging his dog and throws and leaves a track behind. You like it?

Speaker 176 I would make fun of him.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 46 You like it?

Speaker 200 It feels like it needs a bit of a handmaid's tail.

Speaker 55 Okay. Okay.
Woven into his face.

Speaker 73 I mean, he can wear one of those little white bonnets, the boner.

Speaker 200 So he can't chew on his boner.

Speaker 55 So he can't chew on his boner guy.

Speaker 55 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 32 Yeah, I like it. Self-sucking boner.

Speaker 135 All right. Well,

Speaker 179 maybe you're loosely attached.

Speaker 88 If I actually met you, you're loosely attached.

Speaker 55 I like it.

Speaker 41 What kind of movie do you think we can make to get into Canon? We've got some ideas, but I don't know if they're like art house enough.

Speaker 154 My tuxedo's like

Speaker 88 a boner dogs.

Speaker 168 Yeah, wait, wait. Stop.
Hit me with these ideas.

Speaker 132 Go. Oh, boner dogs.

Speaker 41 We can pitch you with boner dogs, but it seems like it'd be too elevated to me. Pitch me now.

Speaker 168 You have to give me the elevator.

Speaker 14 First question.

Speaker 16 Do you know Adam Sandler?

Speaker 125 Have you ever worked with Adam Sandler?

Speaker 172 Adam and I are dying for something to do, and we said if it

Speaker 172 could have to do with dogs, that would be great.

Speaker 43 Okay, good.

Speaker 46 It's called Boner Dogs.

Speaker 41 And it's about this dog that always has a boner.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 41 he's like the leader of a pack of sled dogs.

Speaker 134 And they get lost. Can I ask you a question?

Speaker 139 Yeah. Before we go any further, have we seen it before?

Speaker 100 No.

Speaker 13 No, we haven't.

Speaker 48 Okay, this is kind of brand new.

Speaker 58 It's like a mix between Debbie Does Dallas and Snow Dogs.

Speaker 72 And Rudy.

Speaker 41 Yeah, well, before I go any further, let me just say the dogs are voiced by Zach Efron. He's attached to it.
Just confirmed that.

Speaker 55 Loosely attached.

Speaker 55 I heard his episode. Yeah.
There you go.

Speaker 41 Ice Cube is loosely attached.

Speaker 41 Adam Sandler is what we're hoping for. Kevin James, Chris Farley, Chris Robbie,

Speaker 41 Rob Schneider are all voices of the dog. David Spade.
David Spade's the voice of the boner. And the dog gets lost in the woods.

Speaker 29 He's the voice of the boner.

Speaker 41 And the only way that he can get back is by following the trail of his little red lipstick that's guided them out there in the snow.

Speaker 147 So it's like I was. I think they got emotional at the end there.

Speaker 172 It all came around. At first it was funny, and then it got so emotional with the dog got lost.

Speaker 3 It's a whole thing about don't boner shame and all that stuff.

Speaker 87 Kids will learn from this.

Speaker 172 Guys, I am.

Speaker 62 You want to throw that fucking money at it? 100%.

Speaker 41 This is why you did that 70s show so that you can finance the financial project. Be the Sugar Daddy

Speaker 41 is getting into the film industry.

Speaker 41 I've got a lucrative opportunity for you and a prestigious opportunity for being honest because I think that with the names that we have attached, it could really do something. It's a movie.

Speaker 41 If you'd like to invest in it, if you'd like to star in it, produce it, act in it, up to you.

Speaker 72 Let's call it.

Speaker 48 It's called Boner.

Speaker 72 Wait, wait, Adam. Okay.

Speaker 41 It's for Kevin. It's not for you.

Speaker 73 It's called Boner Dogs.

Speaker 72 Boner Dogs. Boner Dogs.

Speaker 173 Boner.

Speaker 70 So far, so far. Boner?

Speaker 55 Adam.

Speaker 70 Boner Dogs. I've audience the word

Speaker 110 boner dogs.

Speaker 55 Adam and Donogenes.

Speaker 72 Dogs have boners.

Speaker 6 I have to give away the whole thing.

Speaker 55 Is that groin pains?

Speaker 14 Like groin pains, boner?

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 41 Adam, if I have a movie to pitch to you, I'll do it, but I'm talking to Kevin now.

Speaker 48 This is his opportunity.

Speaker 72 Boner dogs. Boner dogs.
Boner dogs.

Speaker 41 So it's about a team of sled dogs, and they make fun of the one who's not allowed to really be the sled dog because he's always got a boner.

Speaker 73 And none of the other ones get you like that?

Speaker 73 and all the other ones you like it they don't have boners but one does it's kind of like a rudolph the red-nosed reindeer type thing adam

Speaker 96 i'm laughing in a great great way you're nailing this pitch piano and then

Speaker 41 okay and so uh they bring in the dog that has the boner and he's actually the one that saves the day at the end because they get lost in the woods but his boner drags through the snow and they don't have they don't have a jacket they find their way back yes okay so kevin kevin uh the people that we have loosely attached and this is all true, we've talked to all these people, all people that we've interviewed, loosely attached, we have David Spade, we have Jimmy Tatro,

Speaker 41 we have Lawrence Taylor, we have who else?

Speaker 83 Rob Schneider, Rob Schneider, no, we don't

Speaker 99 attached Kevin James, Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart, Chris Tucker, Chris Rock,

Speaker 154 who's panicking the boner dog?

Speaker 3 Well, the boner itself is voiced by Will Farrell.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 55 The dog.

Speaker 72 Yeah. How many dogs do you have? We need nine dogs.

Speaker 72 We need nine dogs?

Speaker 55 Nine dogs. So it's like reindeer.
Are you in? Are you in or you're out? I'm in.

Speaker 141 Okay. All right, great.

Speaker 44 Great, so Kevin, Adam, you interested?

Speaker 90 You want to invest?

Speaker 41 You want to get in?

Speaker 26 Halfway. You'd like you to produce the kind of thing?

Speaker 182 Yeah. Yeah, you want to invest in?

Speaker 72 I don't want to invest in it.

Speaker 55 Okay, if you want, that's fine.

Speaker 93 Okay, so

Speaker 41 Adam Sandler, executive producer.

Speaker 55 Official.

Speaker 151 Also, this is actually a good opportunity for both of you.

Speaker 41 We're talking about Oscar Buzz.

Speaker 41 With this, we could even target, like micro-target a category. So we'll film it.
We'll do it in animated short overseas so it can be eligible for best foreign animated short.

Speaker 73 But we'll tape it in the Bahamas, and so we just get everybody to fly down there for a vacation.

Speaker 41 And then while you're here, do the voiceover for the Boner Dogs.

Speaker 41 And so you guys will be Oscar winners as well.

Speaker 29 It's not

Speaker 135 about favorites.

Speaker 135 Yeah, all right.

Speaker 55 Are we in?

Speaker 21 You wouldn't say no to an Oscar, right?

Speaker 154 No, but I mean, I don't live for it.

Speaker 100 Well, you're going to want to get me one.

Speaker 72 Yeah. But it's like your second one after

Speaker 72 that.

Speaker 14 Exactly.

Speaker 65 We're getting the the wrap-up.

Speaker 22 We've got the wrap-up like way before the boner dogs pitch.

Speaker 55 You guys needed the berry.

Speaker 153 Paper does boner dog up.

Speaker 131 Let me see how serious y'all are.

Speaker 55 We have some renderings.

Speaker 72 Yeah. You know,

Speaker 55 dogs have boners.

Speaker 16 Dogs have bonus, and it's always funny.

Speaker 72 It's funny. Everything.

Speaker 102 All right.

Speaker 59 Okay, PFT, I have a question for you real quick. Seekeek question.
Promo code take.

Speaker 167 Hit me.

Speaker 33 Get $10 off

Speaker 30 your SeatGeek purchase when you put in promo code take.

Speaker 109 Did we or did we not fulfill one of our longtime promises this year and give the listeners an airport review?

Speaker 78 We did. We did.

Speaker 41 Still haven't joined a cult just yet, but we're working on that.

Speaker 6 Did we do one airport review or two?

Speaker 72 We've done one.

Speaker 62 We did one.

Speaker 41 I think we might do another one on Instagram Live or something like that, but we did do an airport review.

Speaker 83 This was in the Minneapolis airport, Indianapolis, Indianapolis airport.

Speaker 41 Southwest, Indianapolis, yeah.

Speaker 79 So let's do the airport review.

Speaker 43 Tick. A bunch of civilians

Speaker 92 over here in the channel.

Speaker 60 I'm going to buzz over them real quick.

Speaker 181 You've killed my boy.

Speaker 201 He fell down the bloody stairs and you shoved him

Speaker 147 off a fucking shelvy.

Speaker 55 Why'd you knock him in?

Speaker 201 Why'd you knock out that little lad?

Speaker 70 How did we plan a war?

Speaker 55 He's bleeding a soldier's head.

Speaker 56 Why would we put all our soldiers over there?

Speaker 147 He's got the water.

Speaker 56 There's oil in the water.

Speaker 174 He's bleeding from his ear.

Speaker 42 Oi! His oil is

Speaker 42 heaps of oil. Hey, I'm from one direction.
I'm shooting.

Speaker 56 Shoot rifles.

Speaker 87 Okay, welcome. Juan, PFT.

Speaker 94 Let's do a quick intro, real quick.

Speaker 43 So, this is.

Speaker 41 We are in the Indianapolis airport right now.

Speaker 115 We just got off the flight.

Speaker 100 Hank is under the influence of narcotics after oral surgery.

Speaker 41 And we actually.

Speaker 55 Wait, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 13 We got to, like, let's do this.

Speaker 60 This is the first airport review.

Speaker 55 I thought this is a big, pretty special airport.

Speaker 188 This is a big moment.

Speaker 108 This is a big moment.

Speaker 11 This is the first airport review we've ever done.

Speaker 101 Yep.

Speaker 94 And we just landed, and it's like, this is, are you nervous?

Speaker 46 No, not at all.

Speaker 88 We're in Indianapolis.

Speaker 41 You know why I'm not nervous? Because we had a delightful pair of flight attendants on that plane, and they took special care of Big Cat and I, and they actually want to talk to us.

Speaker 41 So I think it'd probably be a good place to start asking them what their opinion of Indianapolis airport is. So let's go talk with them.

Speaker 117 Okay, Hank, come on.

Speaker 87 We're not cutting any of this.

Speaker 128 So just make sure. This is it.

Speaker 55 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 94 We're here with our two flight attendants from our trip from LaGuardia to Indianapolis.

Speaker 40 We have Miss Ty.

Speaker 101 Hi. And Cynthia.

Speaker 110 Cynthia.

Speaker 15 Cynthia and Ty.

Speaker 55 So, first question, how were we as passengers on your flight?

Speaker 178 Good question. Hilarious.

Speaker 61 Wait, hold on. Go ahead.

Speaker 71 Hilarious and well-behaved, I heard.

Speaker 202 Yes, hilarious and well-behaved.

Speaker 55 Okay. But more well-behaved.

Speaker 41 Okay, now between Dan and I, Big Cat and I, which one of the two of us do you think was a cooler passenger on your plane?

Speaker 202 I love you both, but I'm going to have to say Big Cat.

Speaker 129 Yep, exactly.

Speaker 108 Didn't think that was going to happen, PFT.

Speaker 94 I don't know why you made it a competition.

Speaker 41 That's unfortunate.

Speaker 26 Do you, what is the proper, there's been a lot of debate in recent history.

Speaker 22 Is it flight attendant?

Speaker 24 Is it stewardess?

Speaker 119 Is it flight assistant?

Speaker 202 I'm gonna take this one. So it's flight attendant, not stewardess, because we're not there as your steward to clean up after you.
We are there to attend to you during an emergency.

Speaker 202 So it's flight attendant.

Speaker 95 Get it right, y'all.

Speaker 142 Right.

Speaker 202 It's not 1952 anymore.

Speaker 41 I noticed that you pulled a nice little trick at the start of the flight to get everybody's attention during the safety briefing. You held up a phone.

Speaker 41 You said, somebody left their phone on the jetway. Now that I have your attention, I'm going to teach you guys how to be safe.
What other cool tricks do you guys have that you like to pull on us?

Speaker 178 I have a few.

Speaker 127 Tell yours. Because yours are probably better than mine.

Speaker 202 Mine, they're mostly, you know, everybody loses things in the airport. So I tell them, oh, I found something on the jet bridge.
Just give me a second. And they're all waiting, bated breath.

Speaker 202 What am I going to pull out? And it's a safety card.

Speaker 122 That's good.

Speaker 108 okay that's good okay I would have fallen for that one

Speaker 87 so when you came around and asked if everyone wanted stuff you gave me a Diet Coke and I didn't take out my tray and you saw me just kind of raw dog the diet coke were you impressed by that move very impressed I could tell it was very impressive you're you there was this like awkward moment where Ty was like is he gonna just is he just gonna hold this cup and the Diet Coke and I was like fuck yeah I am

Speaker 41 yep we went for it I was very surprised wouldn't you say it's like a little bit more of a baller move though that I had a beer and Dan only had a Diet Coke?

Speaker 202 Well, it's not a baller because I gave you a beer pre-departure and you didn't drink it.

Speaker 80 Whoa, PFE keeps losing.

Speaker 99 I want to

Speaker 41 official return.

Speaker 62 Why am I in this competition?

Speaker 41 I want it on the record that I did drink the beer. I just didn't know that I had to open it and drink it before takeoff.
And then she confiscated my beer from me, and then I couldn't get it back

Speaker 41 until that thing dinged at me above 10,000 feet. What do you guys rank the Indy airport? Scale of one to 10.

Speaker 202 I would say it's number one in the nation.

Speaker 98 whoa wow that that is strong we picked a good place

Speaker 20 and you tie

Speaker 202 I'd say maybe like ten being the highest and or one being the highest we'll go well she just ripped my scale to shreds and said just one overall one yeah she said number one overall I'm just asking scale one to ten all right if one's the lowest I'm gonna say like a

Speaker 202 No, you said in the nation. I'm gonna say five.

Speaker 41 Five. That's a rookie score.

Speaker 48 Okay. One flight.
Everybody knows the rules.

Speaker 87 All right.

Speaker 6 All right. Well, thank you, ladies.

Speaker 22 Appreciate it. It was a great flight, beautiful flight.

Speaker 81 And we appreciate you guys. And thanks for listening.
Yeah.

Speaker 41 Thanks for getting us here, sir.

Speaker 202 Thank you so much. Shout out to Carlos.

Speaker 119 Okay, shout out to Cynthia's niece, Ashley West.

Speaker 3 That was awesome.

Speaker 98 That was great. Thank you.
All right, thank you guys.

Speaker 55 All right, here we go.

Speaker 71 So we learned a lot.

Speaker 39 Here, let's move over here, PFT, real quick.

Speaker 141 So

Speaker 15 we have, see ya, bye.

Speaker 37 So we're not going to cut any of this.

Speaker 5 So we are

Speaker 22 just outside of what gate are we in?

Speaker 166 This is gate A1 through five.

Speaker 22 We're at A5

Speaker 82 and we are now going to walk to our baggage claim and we're going to give you a live review of the Indianapolis airport.

Speaker 77 We are dragging.

Speaker 7 So to paint a visual for everyone who's listening right now, Hank is walking behind us with the recorder.

Speaker 103 We have microphones in our hands.

Speaker 6 Someone's going to trip.

Speaker 41 We promise you.

Speaker 32 Someone's going to trip.

Speaker 41 Little fun fact behind the scenes at part of my take. It was at this very location right here that we found out that Barcelona got picked up by ESPN.
Yes.

Speaker 83 So we're very happy, young, dumb, and full come.

Speaker 3 So here we're

Speaker 69 yeah, that's right. Hank puked on that flight.

Speaker 54 First stop we're gonna make is actually the bathroom right across from the Harry and Izzy's.

Speaker 41 We can't bring the camera in.

Speaker 166 Yeah, let's leave our bags right here.

Speaker 18 So we're gonna bring Hank in.

Speaker 7 We'll be back for the camera.

Speaker 154 You go in the middle Yernal.

Speaker 6 Bubba, just maybe do like an ambiance videotape thing and then we'll put it into the show so like people can just kind of see it.

Speaker 128 A little protein. Here we go.

Speaker 121 What's on Robert Kraft?

Speaker 127 Oh, sir, what's your name?

Speaker 203 I'm not going there.

Speaker 77 Okay.

Speaker 77 What do you think?

Speaker 54 You got it jerked off, huh?

Speaker 203 No, I just think I hate Boston. I hate all of you.

Speaker 145 I'll hate Boston.

Speaker 142 Okay, but what about Robert Kraft, like the jerked-off thing?

Speaker 16 The what? The jerked off thing. Yeah.

Speaker 16 You came to me and asked, what about Robert Kraft?

Speaker 82 I said, you got jerked off.

Speaker 192 I think he is guilty.

Speaker 77 Surely to go. Okay.

Speaker 40 Any relation to Bob Kravitz?

Speaker 77 Me? No.

Speaker 41 Do you work for the NFL? No.

Speaker 13 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 203 I live here.

Speaker 128 Your zipper's halfway through.

Speaker 166 Oh, yeah, I know.

Speaker 62 I'm about to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 147 Just hanging out in the stopped house right before we got to the bathroom.

Speaker 77 Well, yeah, we were walking about.

Speaker 51 I do appreciate that you just stopped us and said, hey, what do you think about Bob Krafts?

Speaker 55 I know how you guys are. Oh, thank you.
And

Speaker 203 I just devote, you know, sit so close.

Speaker 77 I'm just not.

Speaker 203 I'm not a fan of

Speaker 21 it. You know what?

Speaker 32 That's why we love sports.

Speaker 203 I'm a Coles fan, and obviously, you guys beat the shit out of us too much, and that's why I don't like it.

Speaker 41 Yeah, but you guys got that cool banner.

Speaker 41 The 2014 AFC finalists.

Speaker 41 That's a one-of-a-kind.

Speaker 89 Special.

Speaker 41 I don't think any other team has that, actually.

Speaker 203 I've got to the Super Bowl as many times as you guys do.

Speaker 41 All right. Thank you, Mr.
Ursay. We got to go peek.

Speaker 192 You guys don't think you guys actually cheat, do you?

Speaker 120 I mean, none of that.

Speaker 177 Let's take this into the bathroom.

Speaker 132 Let's go.

Speaker 41 Would you like to

Speaker 22 We're going to use the bathroom.

Speaker 92 So, alright, we only have one.

Speaker 162 PFT, you use this. Hank's going to wait out here.

Speaker 68 I'm going to use that stall.

Speaker 115 I'm going to use the handicap stall.

Speaker 186 PFT, I'm actually using the.

Speaker 80 Alright, so quick review here, PFT.

Speaker 57 Let me start.

Speaker 107 The handicap stall has its own sink.

Speaker 37 That is nice.

Speaker 120 That's unbelievable.

Speaker 61 How's the flow in there?

Speaker 97 Okay, this

Speaker 41 non-handicapped stall is actually very spacious. I would actually say that this non-handicapped stall is as spacious as most handicap stalls.

Speaker 40 That's nice. Now it doesn't have the amenities that yours does.

Speaker 41 No sink in here.

Speaker 73 But very large bowl.

Speaker 41 As you can see, I've been going for a while.

Speaker 33 I just got the flush.

Speaker 41 And it's still not close to being filled up yet.

Speaker 41 Fit a lot of soup in here.

Speaker 37 My urine was very dark because it was a flight and It actually people don't realize when you fly because of the air the altitude.

Speaker 119 Thank you, sir.

Speaker 120 The air it sucks all the water out of your body so you get very dehydrated.

Speaker 33 You got to make sure you hydrate when you fly.

Speaker 41 Also, I would say that the best part about getting off of a plane is that first post airplane fart that you have. For whatever reason, it just the altitude sucks all up in you.

Speaker 84 So let's do a quick review.

Speaker 29 Dennis Robinson's good.

Speaker 119 So let's do a quick review where we were standing in the bathroom.

Speaker 149 So I thought

Speaker 37 my stall was fantastic.

Speaker 138 Take a look at yours.

Speaker 64 It was spacious.

Speaker 44 See that extra sink? Why don't you pee in the small sink?

Speaker 37 I was just

Speaker 55 big mistake.

Speaker 92 Big mistake.

Speaker 24 I thought the hand washers were great.

Speaker 17 Lack of urinals is a problem.

Speaker 11 There's only three.

Speaker 24 I feel like there's probably some clutter in here.

Speaker 41 It's a small airport, though.

Speaker 94 Here's where I rate my airport bathrooms.

Speaker 87 If you walk in and you don't have the overpowering smell of a shit right away, you're already like a good airport.

Speaker 41 Yeah, another thing that I noticed, I don't see any puddles.

Speaker 61 A lot of times there are just puddles laying around these airport bathrooms.

Speaker 41 I don't see any here. I did, I was very, very impressed with the width of that bathroom.
You really spread out, even in the non-handicapped saw, which is nice.

Speaker 120 I think we should actually leave because there actually now is a gentleman taking a poop.

Speaker 121 Yeah.

Speaker 93 You guys have a good trip. All right, you too.

Speaker 81 Leave us the fuck alone, man.

Speaker 46 That guy followed us in the bathroom and he literally asked me to go.

Speaker 13 He almost accosted me with my zipper down.

Speaker 81 It was actually probably a sex crime.

Speaker 73 Okay. Okay, good.
Let's go.

Speaker 103 All right, so that Harry and Izzy's now has a good shrimp cocktail.

Speaker 108 Oh, yeah, they have the St.

Speaker 87 Elmo's cocktail.

Speaker 73 They have the St. Elmo's cocktail right there.

Speaker 55 Which makes no sense when you think about it, right?

Speaker 154 I don't know.

Speaker 154 Why would St.

Speaker 45 Elmo's let Harry and Izzy do it?

Speaker 40 Because they're probably a sister restaurant.

Speaker 55 I would imagine.

Speaker 108 Wait, hold on.

Speaker 92 I have to figure out my hands here.

Speaker 120 Okay.

Speaker 147 All right, so we're going to walk.

Speaker 68 So now we've got to follow to ground transportation.

Speaker 143 So overall, PFT, what would you give the bathroom on, are we talking scale one to ten?

Speaker 41 I would just give it seven and a half.

Speaker 62 Seven and a half.

Speaker 22 Now, something we should note is that it's 8.15 in Indianapolis.

Speaker 108 Everything is closed.

Speaker 11 Literally everything is closed.

Speaker 83 Well, we might find a Hudson News.

Speaker 184 Even the moving walkway has stopped.

Speaker 73 Flight engineer just said, welcome to Indianapolis.

Speaker 41 Like, that's the thing here.

Speaker 147 Everything closed.

Speaker 147 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Which I'm okay with, honestly.

Speaker 93 So, I say we're walking away from where we need to go.

Speaker 37 Let's do one moving walkway and then go to the baggage car.

Speaker 41 Okay, you going to do any tricks on it?

Speaker 165 Nope.

Speaker 41 I might pull a trick.

Speaker 62 Here's what really pisses me off.

Speaker 158 People

Speaker 43 who get aggressive on the moving walkway.

Speaker 108 What's the deal with that?

Speaker 70 It fucking.

Speaker 55 What's the deal with the moving walkway?

Speaker 121 Hey, what's the deal with people on a moving walkway?

Speaker 73 Why don't they build the entire airport out of moving walkways?

Speaker 41 How come it's just like one stretch here?

Speaker 22 So, yeah, it is a ghost town.

Speaker 92 I think we were the last flight.

Speaker 87 At 8.10 p.m., we were the last flight to come into Indianapolis.

Speaker 73 I like they run a lean operation, though.

Speaker 46 Not a lot of overhead here.

Speaker 73 And also the fact that not too many flights land here means that it's really clean.

Speaker 40 Here's a fun fact. People messing it up.

Speaker 103 Here's a fun fact about the Indianapolis airport.

Speaker 18 I once bought bought a tin of dip here.

Speaker 100 I couldn't believe it.

Speaker 146 I really wanted a tin of dip, and I found a store, and they sold me a tin of skull.

Speaker 60 And I was like, what the hell?

Speaker 100 You feel like that? In an airport?

Speaker 41 I was just taking my shot. Yeah.

Speaker 128 Yeah.

Speaker 36 So, yeah, that's always a soft spot in my heart.

Speaker 24 We have a TSA security person coming up on

Speaker 87 our Louie that's left in the Marine Corps.

Speaker 21 Okay, let's talk about it.

Speaker 41 I just want to say for the record, that is one of the finer airport Chick-fil-As that I've ever been to.

Speaker 55 Yes.

Speaker 33 And right next to a nature's table, so you can get your smoothie, feel good about yourself, have a Chick-fil-A, feel terrible about yourself, and

Speaker 34 their statements on homosexuals.

Speaker 151 Yep.

Speaker 41 Didn't mean to go there. I mean, I just go there for the chicken.

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 21 I just really like it.

Speaker 22 Okay, this is going to be interesting how we're going to navigate this with all these cords, but we're going to try to take the escalators here.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 55 There are three escalators.

Speaker 61 We'll get stuck on this escalator, like Portland Trailblazers.

Speaker 25 Two that go down, one that goes up, and a stairs that goes up, not down.

Speaker 41 I think probably sometimes they reverse course on the middle one, depending on the traffic flow.

Speaker 41 So it's nice to have that option. See, like on the next one right across the way from us, they've got two going up and just the one going down.

Speaker 147 Oh, we got we just heard that the walkway is dynamite.

Speaker 41 Very excited to see the walkway now.

Speaker 54 We've got to find our bags.

Speaker 113 This might actually be a problem because we are

Speaker 43 we have checked bags.

Speaker 41 I like that they really doll this place up for the combine, huh?

Speaker 71 Yeah, all the flare.

Speaker 40 We've got a Christian McCaffrey pillar over there.

Speaker 165 Oh, Lucas is coming home. That's great.

Speaker 41 Lucas is coming home.

Speaker 112 Where's Lucas coming home from?

Speaker 177 Where's Lucas coming home from?

Speaker 128 Denver. Denver.

Speaker 149 Nice.

Speaker 44 I thought you were going to say like Iraq or something, but he's just been in Denver.

Speaker 41 Welcome, Anastasia.

Speaker 46 Beaver House. Let's go.

Speaker 41 Is that a new arrival?

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 171 Okay. Talking babies, folks.

Speaker 55 They were in Grace.

Speaker 127 Okay. We're all in Grace for Africa.

Speaker 151 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 94 All right, we're going this way.

Speaker 138 PFT. My parents wouldn't let me watch that.

Speaker 72 That was

Speaker 41 too busy dining at Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 87 I thought we were going to just get a fucking awesome military arrival.

Speaker 81 Nah, Lucas has just been chilling in Denver, getting fucking high as shit.

Speaker 41 Who's the Beaverton? Anastasia Beaverton?

Speaker 22 I don't know.

Speaker 55 I don't watch that show either.

Speaker 37 Let's get the bags and let's go.

Speaker 128 We'll do the walkway and then then we'll end it.

Speaker 87 Liam can hang with the bags.

Speaker 83 Do we know where we're going?

Speaker 103 Are these the bags?

Speaker 29 Oh, those are your bags.

Speaker 46 These look like our bags.

Speaker 7 Alright, so how we're going to end this is we're going to do

Speaker 14 let's see.

Speaker 204 Let's go.

Speaker 82 Let's check out the walkway because that guy said the walkway was nice.

Speaker 41 He said the walkway was nice. The one wild card at some of these airports is

Speaker 73 how long it takes you to get into an Uber.

Speaker 166 Yeah, well, we're going, we got to re-rented a car.

Speaker 77 Oh, we got the convertible?

Speaker 166 No, we did not get a convertible.

Speaker 2 All right, so we're gonna, you stay with the bags, Liam.

Speaker 94 We'll just put in a place filler for people who are watching on Barstool Gold.

Speaker 133 Um, all right, let's go.

Speaker 33 Let's walk, we'll finish the review.

Speaker 29 You can leave your bag, PFT.

Speaker 7 Both of them, yeah, we just leave them right here with Liam.

Speaker 166 Okay, Liam, we're leaving all the bags with you.

Speaker 138 Liam's gonna have to take all the bags.

Speaker 94 No, we're coming back.

Speaker 11 We're gonna literally do the walkway, then we're gonna come back.

Speaker 97 Okay, let's go do the walkway. All right,

Speaker 138 we'll be right back.

Speaker 57 Hey, check this out: elite baggage.

Speaker 41 I wonder what passes for elite baggage.

Speaker 111 I think this person's gonna ask for a picture.

Speaker 121 Yeah, okay. Literally watching your video right now.

Speaker 87 Love it. What's up, man?

Speaker 41 What does elite baggage mean?

Speaker 175 I deliver luggage and whatnot.

Speaker 40 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 41 I thought it was like really the stuff that

Speaker 192 off the books for Big Cat here about last night's loss, honestly.

Speaker 87 The Wisconsin game? Yeah, that sucked.

Speaker 135 I don't really want to talk about it.

Speaker 132 We don't have to run it.

Speaker 55 Double overtime, terrible loss.

Speaker 156 You can't give wins to those losers down there. As far as

Speaker 47 the Purdue guy?

Speaker 192 Oh, yeah, I'm watching him right now. They just started.
Actually, you're kind of messing me up. I'm watching.

Speaker 127 All right, we'll see. You'll leave you be.

Speaker 108 Have a good one.

Speaker 41 The real unfortunate thing about people when they see Big Cat sometimes is they feel like they can come up to him and just make fun of all the losses that he has in Rambling.

Speaker 41 Which is tough because you already lost once.

Speaker 165 You don't need to have a guy remind you.

Speaker 83 A common thing will be...

Speaker 23 Hey, Big Cat, what are you betting on?

Speaker 87 And then we have to sit there and I have to rattle through everything and it takes way too long.

Speaker 65 But alright, so we're going to finish the review by going on this walkway we've heard a lot about.

Speaker 108 We really only heard it from one person.

Speaker 73 Walkway of Legends.

Speaker 19 All in all, PFT, I would say Indianapolis airport is a delight.

Speaker 46 Very nice. It's small.

Speaker 41 I wish that maybe it had one or two stores that were open that we could have checked out, but overall, I'd say like very, very solid.

Speaker 40 I think the flight attendant may have oversold it a little bit as calling it the number one airport in the country.

Speaker 73 Right.

Speaker 41 But so far, I mean,

Speaker 20 I'm thinking like an eight. Oh, look.

Speaker 110 Look at these lights.

Speaker 161 Well, here's the thing, PFT.

Speaker 33 Now that we're actually doing this and we're going to start giving airport reviews to people, I think we...

Speaker 87 Oh, Hank doesn't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 138 Hold on. What's the matter, Hank?

Speaker 11 Chloe Breff.

Speaker 37 If you're listening, it's Chloe Breff.

Speaker 33 They're looking for you on Wednesday, February 27th, around 9 p.m.

Speaker 95 That's got to be a fake name.

Speaker 80 Okay, so I think when we do our next ones, we need to just have...

Speaker 90 There's got to be classes.

Speaker 166 It's like MLB and AAA and AA.

Speaker 121 This is a...

Speaker 77 Woo-hoo-hoo! Whoa!

Speaker 41 Right there, that was the sound of all these lights turning on.

Speaker 26 When you get on the walkway here,

Speaker 11 the lights follow you.

Speaker 41 This is simply incredible.

Speaker 119 It's like the piano from Big.

Speaker 40 I can't believe that we didn't bring Bubble with us.

Speaker 81 Yeah, he's going to really be big-time FOMO.

Speaker 22 But either way, what I was going to say, PFT, is I think that

Speaker 22 we should have a situation where we have classes.

Speaker 11 So this is a smaller airport.

Speaker 41 Okay, let's get some of this footage right here.

Speaker 73 This is what we're dealing with on the walkway.

Speaker 77 This is a smaller airport.

Speaker 41 Basically, like a club.

Speaker 41 I feel like I'm in Miami.

Speaker 11 And then we'll do the big airport class.

Speaker 3 Your LAXs, your O'Hairs, your Dallas, Fort Worth.

Speaker 82 You hear that, folks?

Speaker 81 That's ain't going on there.

Speaker 167 That's Indy.

Speaker 11 That's a wide, wonderful world of Indy.

Speaker 41 Okay, so yeah, I would call this like a mid-major. Yeah, right.
So as far as the mid-majority,

Speaker 68 is like a Dayton or a Davidson, maybe

Speaker 87 either in a southern Illinois, possibly.

Speaker 89 One of those.

Speaker 198 One of those schools. You know, they could make noise.

Speaker 55 Yeah, they absolutely.

Speaker 95 They're not going to probably win any tournaments.

Speaker 41 I would even say that

Speaker 83 you could take a lady here for a night out on the town. You can.

Speaker 138 This is a dateable airport.

Speaker 184 You don't need a ticket to get into the main area where you can both look at indie cars.

Speaker 147 They had a couple of those.

Speaker 48 The M-word car.

Speaker 2 The M-word car.

Speaker 15 No, that was past the security car.

Speaker 72 No, no, no.

Speaker 19 Where the woman who is 90 years old said you can't get it.

Speaker 151 I will have to check the tape. I believe it was with inside.

Speaker 11 I guarantee you, Hank, back me up.

Speaker 81 It was definitely inside the security car.

Speaker 73 He doesn't know, Hank.

Speaker 115 He absolutely knows.

Speaker 41 All sorts of perked up right now.

Speaker 188 Once I saw that woman who was barely alive,

Speaker 104 oh, sorry.

Speaker 121 Hey, how are you? I'm fine.

Speaker 50 Okay, she's fine.

Speaker 94 She was in a rush, so I wanted to double check to make sure she was okay.

Speaker 108 You never know.

Speaker 19 So, yeah, what would you say?

Speaker 87 What are we doing for ranking scales?

Speaker 41 So, I feel like if we're going to go by class, then it has to be weighted a little bit. So, the LAXs of the world,

Speaker 41 the giant ones, we'll put them on a scale of.

Speaker 41 How about we'll put them on a scale of.

Speaker 6 Just make this as confusing as possible.

Speaker 21 Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 41 The LAXs will be like grade scales in school.

Speaker 198 So, it'll be A through F.

Speaker 138 Okay. This will be 1 through 10.

Speaker 37 Great.

Speaker 184 So, I'm going to give the Indy Airport a 7.3.

Speaker 41 Okay, which translates to a C.

Speaker 60 C plus, C minus.

Speaker 151 C plus C. But we're saving those for the big boys.

Speaker 41 Correct. For the big boys.
I'm going to give this one to 10 8.8.

Speaker 55 Wow, you really were impressed.

Speaker 41 Tell you what, I'm going to take off one little decimal point because I would have liked to hear more music on the moving walkway. 8.7.

Speaker 19 So that actually, that's a round number if you aggregate it is a round number 8.

Speaker 65 I had a 7.3, you had an 8.

Speaker 6 There you go. We give it an 8.

Speaker 165 We actually did that on purpose because we're really bad at math.

Speaker 70 We had to make sure we did that.

Speaker 84 All right.

Speaker 60 So that will be our concludes our first airport review.

Speaker 36 And

Speaker 20 we're now in Indianapolis.

Speaker 68 This is actually the end of the Friday show.

Speaker 103 So we will see everyone on Monday.

Speaker 83 Love you guys.

Speaker 22 That airport review was brought to you by...

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Speaker 205 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 41 So now we have our new interview.

Speaker 22 New interview with Kerry Frazier.

Speaker 41 Longtime NHL ref. Had some great stories about working in the league for how many years did he work in the NHL? Like

Speaker 51 37.

Speaker 41 37 years, Kerry Frazier.

Speaker 41 Probably the best hair of any guest that we've had in Parvati in recent memory. Yeah.

Speaker 22 Yeah. Here he is, Carrie Frazier.

Speaker 27 Okay, we now welcome on Kerry Frazier.

Speaker 75 He is an NHL referee legend.

Speaker 187 He refed in the NHL for three decades, 12 Stanley Cup finals, four decades,

Speaker 143 30 years. Yeah.

Speaker 36 But over the course of three decades, you're right.

Speaker 68 12 Stanley Cup finals, over 261 playoff games.

Speaker 92 He has a book called The Final Call.

Speaker 51 So thank you for joining us.

Speaker 59 Let's start at the top.

Speaker 82 Let's start.

Speaker 73 How did you decide to become a ref?

Speaker 12 Well, I really fell out of the trees on it.

Speaker 12 I was a good little player. I played junior A in Canada, in Ontario.

Speaker 12 Wasn't drafted after my final season. The last player I played against in that season that played in the NHL was Mark Howe.

Speaker 12 I had a decision to make.

Speaker 145 Undrafted.

Speaker 12 Do I play in the American League or the minor pro leagues? Do I take the multiple U.S. Division I athletic scholarships? Eh, it wasn't happening.
And so

Speaker 12 a friend of my dad, my dad played pro hockey. He was like a goon

Speaker 12 playing in the IHL back in the day. And

Speaker 12 the former teammate of his that was coaching the Detroit Red Wings at the time said, listen, why don't you get into officiating? He said, the game needs guys like you. You understand the game.

Speaker 12 You're a good skater. You can, you know, you're a tough little guy.
And you got courage. So he gave me a brochure to referee school.
I went to the school

Speaker 12 end of

Speaker 12 September in 1972. I got scouted there in the five days I was at it.
Two days later, I was at the NHL training camp for officials.

Speaker 12 They signed me to a contract and gave me a whistle and a rule book and a sweater and said, go to it.

Speaker 100 That quickly, huh? Yeah, that.

Speaker 12 kind of gives you an indication how sometimes the fans think we suck, right?

Speaker 148 Yeah.

Speaker 41 So you're the natural. When you were coming up playing, how did you treat referees as a a player?

Speaker 12 Great question. I was very respectful.

Speaker 12 I was usually a captain or an alternate captain on the teams I played on. And we had some really great teams,

Speaker 12 AAA all-star teams. We had five guys off our midget AAA team go on and play in the NHL.
One guy, Wayne Merrick, won four Stanley Cups with the New York Islanders.

Speaker 12 But I was very respectful, and I understood the rules.

Speaker 12 understood that if you wanted to have a conversation with a referee, you had to be respectful.

Speaker 12 So I kind of went into it with the right mentality from that side.

Speaker 12 The wrong side of the coin was that I was a fighter. I used to fight.
My dad taught me how to fight in the kitchen

Speaker 12 because he was a tough guy. He was also a boxer beyond, you know, minor league professional hockey.
And so at about 13, 14 years of age, he said, you got to defend yourself. You're a little guy.

Speaker 12 You know, you got to play hard. You got to play tough.

Speaker 134 Got to play tough.

Speaker 12 If the bone's not through the the skin, don't come off the ice. He was that

Speaker 12 he was that guy. Yeah, so he said, okay, I'm going to teach you to fight.
Put your hands up.

Speaker 62 I'm a left-hander.

Speaker 12 So I went like this. Boom.
Slapped me in the head and knocked me down. He knocked me down so many times, I kept getting back up until finally I could block his punches.
And

Speaker 39 that was it.

Speaker 117 And I was the guy.

Speaker 22 So wait, you were a fighter as a guy who's not that big.

Speaker 19 Would you get into fights with a lot bigger guys?

Speaker 134 Oh, always.

Speaker 12 Everybody was bigger, but I always wanted to beat the big guy because once you beat their big guy and you're a little guy, you own them.

Speaker 55 You own the whole team.

Speaker 90 That's pretty badass.

Speaker 12 So, quick story. You have time?

Speaker 55 Oh, for sure.

Speaker 12 I got to tell you about this one. Playing midget AAA, we're in a tournament.
It's called the Silver Blade.

Speaker 12 It's the aftermath of the Silver Stick, which is a very famous tournament in Canada and Michigan.

Speaker 12 And so we're in the championship game. My dad's the coach.
Coached me for three years in AAA Midget. He said,

Speaker 12 and there was this big guy, bigger than you, and he was like... That's pretty big.

Speaker 15 He pointed to me, by the way, not TFT.

Speaker 72 No, it's me. I thought it was at me.

Speaker 12 No, no, no.

Speaker 147 No, definitely not.

Speaker 144 He's bigger than me, though, too.

Speaker 72 He is very much higher.

Speaker 21 Okay.

Speaker 12 And he was, this guy was big, but he was also dirty.

Speaker 39 Is he dirty? Yeah, maybe. A little.

Speaker 12 Okay, so this guy was sticking our guys, and my dad, the coach, said, Boys, be disciplined, be disciplined, win the game, win the game. So we're up 5-1, five minutes left in the game.

Speaker 12 We got it in hand. He tapped me on the shoulder.
He said, go teach that big guy a lesson. I speedbagged this kid.

Speaker 12 I could fight scared better than they could, Matt, and I cut him over both eyes, destroyed him.

Speaker 77 How old were you?

Speaker 12 I was 15 at the time.

Speaker 158 I love it. Okay.

Speaker 12 So now we get thrown out of the game, this guy and I. And he's

Speaker 12 so he's bleeding all over the ice. And I get in the dressing room and I'm taking my gear off.
The guys come in.

Speaker 12 We won the championship game. And I hear this ruckus out in the hallway.
And it's my dad's voice.

Speaker 96 But it's also a woman.

Speaker 12 He slips in the door, dressing room door, locks the door. He came over to me, put his arm around me, said, listen, Carrie, he said, I'm really proud of the way you took care of that big kid.

Speaker 12 He said, you had no problem with him, but I don't think you can take his mother. She's waiting outside for you.

Speaker 12 I got to get you out of the dressing room because she's waiting. So there was a stick bag, and I'm 5'2 ⁇ at that time, 3 maybe, and 115 pounds.
And he said, get in the stick bag.

Speaker 12 I got in the stick bag. He zipped it up.
He threw the bag over his shoulder.

Speaker 41 And as all of my teammates were walking out and this woman's looking at their faces i'm in the stick bag on my dad's back that's fantastic that's smart that's smart yeah you would have gotten your ass killed absolutely no kidding yeah yeah um it's interesting so you you just told a story about you know winning a fight winning a championship game as a player now as a ref it seems like the best you can hope for in a perfect game is just nobody notices you right like you get to the dressing room afterwards you might shake the other guy's hand be like hey we caught a good game out there but you don't really get the accolades that you do as a player for you what made it so rewarding as an official?

Speaker 12 Making a positive difference. My objective in every game, because I love the game and I love the NHL, I love my employer, and I wanted to be the very best that I could be in every game to

Speaker 12 provide what the players deserved, what the game deserved, the game I loved, and my employers that paid me well.

Speaker 12 I felt that, and your first statement that, you know, it's often said that the best refereed game is the one where you don't notice the guy, but there are games that you have to be noticed.

Speaker 12 You have to step up. You have to take control of the situation.
And my

Speaker 12 objective in the game, aside from, you know, making a positive difference, was to feel the heartbeat. Every game has a heartbeat, and it's a different game.

Speaker 12 So as it goes up, you got to be able to just bring it down. You want controlled bedlam.
That's the most exciting game that fans can ever watch, right?

Speaker 12 So I had to feel that that pulse, that heartbeat. And

Speaker 12 officials now in the playoffs are often being accused, as we were back then. You know, that old let them play, let the players decide the outcome.
You know, as a matter of fact, I have one right here.

Speaker 12 Let me see.

Speaker 147 You know,

Speaker 12 put your whistle in your pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 88 Right. Swallow the whistle.

Speaker 96 Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 12 So the problem with that is, once I let one go.

Speaker 41 Do you always carry a whistle around?

Speaker 12 Yeah, it's actually a rape whistle because, you know, out on the street here.

Speaker 139 You have to do your own it's tough.

Speaker 134 Sit tough first.

Speaker 12 So personal safety. But when you let that one go on your team,

Speaker 12 now human nature dictates, man,

Speaker 12 that was a little bit over the edge. Now I got to let one go the other way.
And the other way is usually worse than the one you let go the first time.

Speaker 38 So that was actually one of my questions because we always as fans think that

Speaker 75 they owe us one.

Speaker 22 Does that happen as an official where you are, you basically, all right, I missed that one.

Speaker 5 Next time down, if it's a 50-50 call or whatever it may be, I'm going to make sure that it evens out here.

Speaker 12 Well, if it's 50-50, yeah,

Speaker 12 you want to make sure that it is a legitimate foul. It's a two-minute penalty.
It's not a minute and 45 seconds worth. Right.

Speaker 12 But that standard that we're talking about, the standard that maybe started at the game a little... rigid and then it gets relaxed and then all of a sudden it just goes down the toilet on you.

Speaker 12 It's like a snowball rolling down the hill. So what I describe was letting one go this way that, oh man, I didn't want to call that.

Speaker 12 Now I let the other one go and it gets worse and then it gets worse. It's the worst feeling that a referee can have in the pit of his stomach because you have, where do you pull the brakes on?

Speaker 12 Where do you put the brakes on this thing?

Speaker 68 And someone's going to be mad when you do.

Speaker 8 Because you're saying you missed the last three.

Speaker 12 Well, it's going to be inconsistent. Right.
You know, because you're looking for that perfect penalty that's not going to happen because you've already let three, four, five, six go down the way.

Speaker 12 It's brutal. So now in today's game, it might be a puck that goes over the glass.
It's an automatic penalty. And all the refs will go,

Speaker 12 we've got one right you don't want to be in that position you said two wrongs don't make a right all right that's that was my adage where you owe me one I've called a stinker of a penalty on more than one occasion where

Speaker 12 I just wished I had had it back but I already reflexed and my arm went up and I called the penalty 20,000 fans see it a couple of million on TV know it

Speaker 12 can't take it back. So the player would come and complain to me and I would say, you know what, I think you're right.

Speaker 12 And then then the automatic reaction would be you owe us one right my response to that is listen two wrongs don't make a right do me a favor kill this son of a gun right yeah okay get their buy-in on it right and I've always noticed it seems like a big thing with uh with referees if you make a call if you're not sure of it you act like you're a hundred percent sure of it so like you put the arm up right and if they if you start like pulling it down a little bit, like you show that little bit of weakness, then they go after you.

Speaker 41 But if you act like, hey, I got this one right, even if in the back of your head, you're like, maybe not.

Speaker 12 Well, that's called selling the call. Yeah.
And, you know, when I first started in the 70s, actually,

Speaker 12 the glass was low. So I'd be in like a Philadelphia spectrum or something like that, and you might react too quick, and the arm starts to go up.
And what I would do is I'd reach for the glass.

Speaker 132 So it's like you're hopping so the puck can go by.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Or it would be hair messed up and I'd go

Speaker 72 and I'd screw it up.

Speaker 55 Yeah. There you go.

Speaker 98 That's when you weren't wearing a helmet, right?

Speaker 12 Yeah, throughout most of my career,

Speaker 12 they made me in the last collective bargaining agreement I was part of. They forced, because there were only two of us that didn't wear a helmet.

Speaker 157 Yeah.

Speaker 19 So did you ever get hit real hard with a puck in the face?

Speaker 12 You know what's interesting is, and I had to wear the helmet and a visor in the Olympics in Nagano.

Speaker 12 International rules, we had to wear a helmet. and visor.

Speaker 12 But without a helmet on, I was cut three times in the face over 26 years in the NHL by deflected pucks. Two off a goalie stick, shot, cross-size point, boom, deflected, got me in the face.

Speaker 12 But when I put a helmet on, the very first game in the NHL, I was forced to wear a helmet. I got hit in the head five times with sticks in the corner.

Speaker 2 Because you were just not, you were like, I got a helmet on, I'm fine.

Speaker 12 Well, not even so much that. It was the lack of respect that players had.

Speaker 12 Because when you, Craig McTavish, last guy to not wear a helmet in the NHL, we had the conversation and with Wayne Gretzky, who wore that little Jaffa.

Speaker 12 And both of those guys said Wayne wore a light protection because it created more awareness, he felt. Interesting.
I felt the same way. I had like radar.

Speaker 12 I could, a puck could, you know, be coming at my head. I'd just do a little slip, go by.

Speaker 12 It was a radar that you developed, kind of like the blind guy that gets

Speaker 168 senses are better.

Speaker 65 Yeah, yeah, right.

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'm always curious about this with referees, your relationship with certain players and how that affects how you call a game so I'm sure through your many many years in the NHL you become friends with guys you talk to guys before the game you're a little more chummy how does that we're all humans so how does that impact how you call a game and is it true that maybe someone who you're

Speaker 12 friendlier with will get the benefit of the doubt I think that is part of human nature as well but I will tell you that my objective was to develop professional relationships with all the players so that I could get them to play on my terms without having to be a jackass, without having to raise my arm and call the penalties.

Speaker 12 I wanted the puck to be moving. There were personalities that just didn't mesh, and there were a couple.
Theo Fleury Dean.

Speaker 26 Theo, I wanted to get to that.

Speaker 55 We can just walk right to that.

Speaker 12 No, I can tell you about Knuckles and Island. Chris Knuckles and Island, he was a Ranger for a bit, but he was a Montreal Canadian, 300 penalty minutes every year, and he'd get his 20 goals.

Speaker 12 But Knox was like a tough guy.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 I caught him. I actually entrapped him in a game in the Boston Garden one time.
Rick Middleton, nifty Middleton, great player, skilled. And he's on the opposite wing with Knuckles.

Speaker 12 And I thought, man, this is a bad matchup. So as they were going to the net, they collided, they fell down, and the puck started to move out into the neutral zone.
It's going the other way.

Speaker 12 One referee on the ice. So I looked across the ice, and my eyes met Knuckles.
And I could tell he was pissed off. No question.
He's going to do something stupid, guaranteed. So I did a head fake.

Speaker 12 I turned like I was following the play up the other way, and all of a sudden I snapped my head back just as he butt-ended Middleton and knocked his front teeth out.

Speaker 12 Up goes the arm, 10-minute match penalty back then.

Speaker 133 Right.

Speaker 143 Yeah, that's fascinating, though, because that's you knowing the players.

Speaker 12 Exactly. So I did my homework.
I know what he's going to do. So now we have to go to emergency hearing just before the playoffs in New York.

Speaker 12 Sir Savard is the general manager, Hockey Hall of Fame guy of the Montreal Canadians. I walk in the NHL boardroom and here's Knuckles sitting at the end of the table.
He wants to kill me.

Speaker 12 It felt like ice in there. Serge, the gentleman, shakes hands, you know, Carrie, how you doing? Blah, blah, blah.
Brian O'Neill was the vice president in charge of discipline.

Speaker 12 He came in and read my report and he said to Chris, Chris, do you have anything to say for yourself? Now, Knucks is a Boston kid, right? He said, yeah, Mr. O'Neill, I got something to say for myself.

Speaker 12 He said, Rifferee Fraser here, he calls more penalties on me than any other ref in the in the league he's always picking on me always watching me and just to prove my point if he hadn't been watching what he should have been watching which was the play go up the other way he wouldn't have seen me butt in middleton in the mouth

Speaker 12 surge spit coffee on the uh on the table

Speaker 88 chris don't

Speaker 12 so he said chris did mean not mean to say that mr o'neill to admit to the crime y'all hate to get caught sir well brian o'neal said chris there isn't a referee worth a pound of salt in this league if he didn't watch you every second you're on the ice Would you like to see a replay?

Speaker 12 And they both declined.

Speaker 75 He got eight games back then.

Speaker 133 That was huge. Yeah, huge.

Speaker 55 Yeah, that's fantastic.

Speaker 41 When it comes to instant replay, how much has that, like the advent of it and having all these different camera angles on the ice, affected the job of an NHL official?

Speaker 12 What a fantastic question.

Speaker 117 Thank you.

Speaker 48 I had that too, but it is first out of the job.

Speaker 12 Well, yeah, you get your first out of the jar. I got to tell you, I think it's the biggest problem that has created the inconsistency that we're seeing.

Speaker 12 I wanted to see everything on the ice as a one-ref one-ref game. I wanted to be in position to see it.
First of all, you have to move your feet, and I learned that watching Wayne Gretzky in 1980,

Speaker 12 where he had such vision of the ice. He knew not just where the puck was now or where players were, he knew where there were going to be three, four, or five chess moves down the board.

Speaker 12 And I analyzed that and came up with a system that worked and was adopted for USA and Canadian hockey minor referees.

Speaker 12 Because if you're not in position, I'm a little guy. I'm not going to see over you.
I'm not going to see around you. I've got to be ahead of the game.
I've got to think the game. And so

Speaker 12 with that sort of

Speaker 12 difficulty now, that they've infused this video replay that is such a safety net for guys.

Speaker 12 They rely on it too much. It's like...

Speaker 12 Even they don't, a goal goes in the net and they're standing so deep in the corner, they don't even signal it. They might not even see it.

Speaker 30 it you got to see everything and use the replay to verify that the official is right so you think it's gone that way so i i the question i was going to ask is a little different actually was is it undermining officials because i always wondered if you are on the ice and you know that they can go to replay and make you look like a fool it's going to suck but you're saying it's actually the opposite where guys are saying look Replay will figure it out.

Speaker 3 If I screw this up, we'll figure it out with replay so I don't have to pay attention the same way.

Speaker 12 Well, Well, you know, even if it's subliminally, they know that they've got the backup there, and

Speaker 12 the replay is done in a room in Toronto, you know, miles, thousands of miles away, which is actually better than all the other sports.

Speaker 12 Probably.

Speaker 22 In some ways, because you don't have to, the ref himself doesn't have to just, you know, after skating up and down the ice all game, have to then go sit and watch a replay for 20 seconds and try to figure it out.

Speaker 12 Well, the problem is

Speaker 12 that

Speaker 12 they should have

Speaker 12 former referees sitting in that room to make the decision. We had two really big-time mess-ups this year in the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Speaker 54 The Sharks and the Knights.

Speaker 12 Golden Knights.

Speaker 72 I mean, poo, bang.

Speaker 12 That was a guess, big guess for sure. Now, the hand pass that Jumbo Joe, you know, batted and Carlson put in the net in overtime to beat St.
Louis in that game.

Speaker 12 All eyes should typically, at least one set of eyes, but usually most eyes would be on on the puck in that situation when it's that close to the net they missed it things do happen they missed it but there's a reason why they missed it and I broke that down for a major network in the U.S.

Speaker 12 because of their body position they were standing they weren't reading the play they weren't moving to where they needed to go but I said if you want to fix that and it's a referee's call Replay could not overturn that because it's a in the rulebook it's a referee's call hand pass must be made by one of the four officials on the ice I said let's utilize the fifth member of the crew, which is a backup referee that's assigned to every playoff game.

Speaker 12 He's a referee. He's sitting in the referee's locker room with his gear on except his skates, watching the monitor on TV.
Let's utilize him and say, okay, guys, I got the headset on, buzz them down.

Speaker 12 What did you see there?

Speaker 12 We need help, obviously. I got a hand pass.

Speaker 145 My call.

Speaker 12 The third referee on the crew that was assigned to that game as the backup, he's going to make that call.

Speaker 128 I like that. Interesting.

Speaker 41 Yeah. Is there one call in particular over your career that you look back on and you're like, that was my best call?

Speaker 12 Oh, no.

Speaker 12 The one that's the worst is the one that

Speaker 12 you remember. I mean, you're expected to make really good calls, make the right call, but the ones that haunt you are the ones that you missed, that you want back, you wish you had back.

Speaker 41 Yeah, so let's go down that road a little bit. Would it be, is it the Gretzky one?

Speaker 46 Oh, that's going to go with?

Speaker 12 93, missed call,

Speaker 12 Western Conference final, overtime, Wayne Gretzky, off the face off, high-sticks, Doug Gilmore.

Speaker 12 What's interesting about that situation is that none of the three of us had a bead on it, saw it.

Speaker 12 I went to Doug Gilmore and I said, Killer, what happened? And he said, well, Wayne took a shot and his...

Speaker 12 You follow through, hit me in the chin, cut me. I said, well, if that's the case, it's not a penalty.
That's the only caveat, I guess, you'd say, that wouldn't be penalized.

Speaker 12 It's a follow-through on a shot, normal follow-through. So he didn't even know.
But something just didn't smell right. And the way Wayne usually was there appealing in

Speaker 12 his case, he just was off to the side, kind of hanging over, like slinking away.

Speaker 50 Kind of knowing he did something there.

Speaker 12 So that's when I called a team meeting and said, you know, with the two linesman, I said, guys, help me out. I didn't see it.
And Ron Huck Finn at the blue line.

Speaker 108 What a name.

Speaker 133 Huck.

Speaker 12 Huck had the balls of an elephant.

Speaker 139 Of course he did. His name's Ron Huck Finn.

Speaker 98 We got Knuckles.

Speaker 100 We got Nick.

Speaker 99 I'm just loving all these nicknames.

Speaker 41 Jesus. What was your nickname?

Speaker 12 Fraser Sucks.

Speaker 68 All right, so Ron Huck Finn

Speaker 96 Huck. He came to me.

Speaker 12 He said, Carrie, I couldn't help you out, man. He said, I was looking through their backs, which would be logical.
And then Kevin Collins, Beaver,

Speaker 12 we won't go there.

Speaker 12 So he said, I don't know.

Speaker 12 He was bent over.

Speaker 12 He just dropped the puck. And he said, I'm not sure.
And as soon as you hear, I'm not sure, there's no way that you're going to guess because that's what happened with the Vegas Night, Golden Knights.

Speaker 12 There was a guess made by somebody in that crew.

Speaker 21 So when you huddle up, I always just assume the rest were like, we're fucked.

Speaker 55 Like, you just sit there and you're like, did anyone see it?

Speaker 7 Nope.

Speaker 43 Okay, we're fucked.

Speaker 31 Let's pretend we're talking for another 30 seconds to make it seem official.

Speaker 12 Well, you know, with...

Speaker 115 Am I far off?

Speaker 12 You're pretty dang on. But there's when the new buildings came out with the big screens, sneak a peek.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 We'd have a guy position himself and he'd be looking

Speaker 12 good.

Speaker 12 We have a, he's still working, he's a French guy, linesman. And when he first came in the league, he was a little awkward with things.
And there was a question as to whether the goal went in.

Speaker 12 He said, oh, it definitely was a goal. I got that.

Speaker 13 He said, well, how do you know?

Speaker 12 He said, because the whole section down there, they were all cheering and they jump and raise their hand and clap.

Speaker 12 So it must be a goal.

Speaker 133 No.

Speaker 132 That's not how it works.

Speaker 55 No, no.

Speaker 12 So then we started, you know, putting a guy to maybe have a peek.

Speaker 55 That's funny.

Speaker 72 Take a look up.

Speaker 93 That's great. That's great.
So

Speaker 31 we talked about swallowing the whistle.

Speaker 134 Yeah.

Speaker 58 You said that it doesn't really happen like fans think it does, but you have to admit, like in the playoffs, there seems to be less penalties.

Speaker 50 And then in overtime in the playoffs, you guys won't won't call anything.

Speaker 22 Are you specifically saying that to the rest of your crew before the overtime starts?

Speaker 2 Hey, it has to be a very egregious thing for us to make a call that could just decide the game.

Speaker 12 I think historically and traditionally, there was that, in the back of your mind, let the players decide the outcome of the game.

Speaker 12 And that was coming from broadcasters and coaches. And so that pressure that was exerted on the referee in a one-refereed game was huge.

Speaker 12 But you didn't want to compromise your integrity and the rules. And so if it was a scoring opportunity, definitely you're going to raise your arm.

Speaker 12 But there was so much other stuff that went on that was allowed.

Speaker 12 I had a game in the game three of the 1989 Stanley Cup final, Montreal Canadiens, at home at the forum against the Calgary Flames. My boss, John Macaulay, who tragically died right after that 89 Cup.

Speaker 12 His boy Wes is the referee in the NHL now, probably one of the two top refs in the league. Great kid.

Speaker 12 But

Speaker 12 John said to me, listen, you got to bring this series back. He said, the first two games were ragged as hell out there.
And he said,

Speaker 12 you got to lay the hammer down and grab him, bring them back for me. I said, okay.
So that was my private instruction from the boss. It wasn't let him go.

Speaker 12 It's get a hold of this series because we got a long way to go yet.

Speaker 12 So I laid the hammer down and called penalties. In the first period, I had

Speaker 12 second period, a number of penalties. Third period, I called a lot of coincidental minors because we got a tie game here.
So now I'm managing the game.

Speaker 12 So it's, you know, where I had the opportunity not to call one, I'd call one on each side, let them know I'm still here, be smart. Now we go into overtime, and they just played.
It was phenomenal.

Speaker 12 One overtime period, no penalties. Great play.
Second overtime period, no penalties with the exception of the last

Speaker 12 two minutes and three seconds remaining. And Mark Hunter, one of the Hunter brothers, is tracking Shane Corson.
Corson's inside the blue line of the Montreal zone. He is facing the boards.

Speaker 12 He shoots the puck, advances it into the neutral zone, and Hunter's tracking him and tracking him and tracking him. And I'm saying to myself, Hunts, don't hit him, don't hit him, don't hit him.
Boom.

Speaker 12 Hits him right in the back of the numbers, knocks his head into the boards at the bench.

Speaker 101 I got to call it.

Speaker 12 Up goes my arm. And just as Mark Hunter got out of the penalty box on the kill, Stéphane Richer scores the winning goal with three seconds left in the period.
Now, who's the GOAT?

Speaker 182 Me, right?

Speaker 12 Everybody's mad at me. Don Cherry, in the next game, I just about had a fight with him in the men's room.

Speaker 55 I expect that happens a lot.

Speaker 12 Yeah, well, you know, and we got nose to nose, and he said, you got to let the players decide the outcome of the game.

Speaker 12 And I said, hey, listen, if I didn't call that obvious penalty, I might as well sit beside your fat ass in the studio and watch the game on TV.

Speaker 12 So that didn't go too well.

Speaker 79 Yeah, because it goes the other way. If you don't call it, the fans the other way.

Speaker 12 Where do you go from there? The guy's head. And the same thing in 93 with the Gretzky situation.

Speaker 12 I had

Speaker 12 putting a Toronto Maple Leaf

Speaker 12 in the penalty box for trying to run

Speaker 12 a defenseman's head through the boards.

Speaker 12 He got a boarding penalty. So leafs are a man short, which even compounded the situation.

Speaker 43 Right.

Speaker 41 Yeah, when's player safety,

Speaker 41 that seems to be cut and dry, especially like a boarding penalty from behind.

Speaker 78 It's like you have to call it.

Speaker 55 Well, player safety.

Speaker 41 You can be mad about having a guy in the box in the third overtime of a playoff game, but if somebody's getting their face put into boards, it's like an open and shut case.

Speaker 41 Now, there's some other stuff that takes place in the playoffs.

Speaker 41 The teams get chippy right, you know, usually from the start of the series. They like to set a tone.
Every time there's a whistle, they get in each other's faces.

Speaker 73 They commit what I assume would be penalties in the run of play.

Speaker 41 But since it's after the whistle and everybody's doing it, you can't call everybody for a penalty.

Speaker 41 So in a situation like that, where do you draw the line between, okay, this dude's just face washing an opponent. That's okay.

Speaker 73 And, you know, that was too aggressive.

Speaker 40 That was a punch.

Speaker 41 You're going to take a seat for a while.

Speaker 12 Well, here's what I did in the playoffs.

Speaker 12 I would get, and again, it's about feeling that temperature. Let's say we're having scrums after, you know, after a stoppage.
You don't want that to continue because it gets ragged.

Speaker 12 I want the puck to keep moving. I don't want players to be, you know, gathering and face washing or punching or, you know, the old scrum situation.

Speaker 12 So when I felt like I had enough, I would go to both coaches and I'd say, you know what? I'm getting embarrassed now. Either you control your guys or I'm going.

Speaker 13 I like that.

Speaker 12 And it might be your team that gets the one penalty. I'm not calling doubles here.
It's going to be maybe your team or it'll be his team.

Speaker 134 You take control of it or I will from here on.

Speaker 12 I love that. And I've heard coaches say, guys,

Speaker 182 doom, we're done.

Speaker 117 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Sean Avery.

Speaker 117 Yeah.

Speaker 55 I mean, you probably had to have a referee nightmare.

Speaker 12 I got along really well with Sean. Really? Yes, because he knew where I stood and he knew how far he could go.

Speaker 12 So after the dance in front of Marty Broder,

Speaker 84 the Sean Avery rule.

Speaker 182 I've got the neck.

Speaker 12 They didn't need a Sean Avery rule. There was a rule there.
You could have given him a misconduct.

Speaker 12 You could have given him two for unsportsmanlike, a 10-minute misconduct for trying to incite the other guy. I mean, you don't have to.
The rule book is already like the phone book.

Speaker 12 So,

Speaker 12 next game, and Sean Avery had been read the Riot Act because he'd done a couple of stupid things previous to that that he shot his mouth off and he was suspended for.

Speaker 12 And he came to me and he's all nervous. He said, Listen, Carrie, he said, I'm going to be really good tonight.

Speaker 12 I'm going to be fine. I won't be a problem for you.
I said, Sean, I said, listen, you can be a very effective player. You know how to play, and you know what I expect.

Speaker 12 If you cross my line, you know where you're going to end up. This is a playoffs, man.
Just go do your thing and know where I draw the line.

Speaker 13 Right.

Speaker 114 He went,

Speaker 12 it was like a weight had been lifted off his back.

Speaker 41 He just thought he had a target on his back after that because I remember that game, and everybody was like, what is this? This is not hockey.

Speaker 41 And it was like the larger hockey community almost, they got offended collectively. They're like, you're ruining the game.

Speaker 12 You know, we talked about creating positive, productive relationships. Yeah.
There's a guy that you could have just said, you know what, get away from me.

Speaker 12 You disgust me.

Speaker 12 He's entitled to play the game just like every other player in the league. He's entitled to the same protection of the rules like every other player.
But if you can develop that relationship

Speaker 12 where in that conversation,

Speaker 12 Sean's temperature was brought down.

Speaker 12 He played that game, and he played effectively. He did what he had to do.
He played hard. He wasn't backing off.
And nobody should ever be told that they can't play a certain way.

Speaker 12 They know what the rules are for. And, you know, back when we had one referee, there was a personality involved.

Speaker 12 And every referee seemed to have a little bit of a different flair, a different personality, or was more focused on calling certain things. And

Speaker 12 the Philadelphia Flyers were the very first organization. and Mr.
Ed Snyder, God rest his soul, wonderful, wonderful, passionate owner of the Philadelphia Flyers.

Speaker 12 They were the first team under Freddie Shiro that started to record which penalties referees called.

Speaker 12 And they came up with, okay, boys, tonight it's Wally Harris, he calls this, or it's Van Hellman, he calls that.

Speaker 12 They knew what the flavor.

Speaker 77 What were you?

Speaker 12 You don't know? Just

Speaker 6 with me.

Speaker 40 What would you lean towards?

Speaker 12 I would say

Speaker 12 that

Speaker 12 anything flagrant aggressive, like I didn't like the stick work.

Speaker 12 Obviously, trips are obvious. I mean, slashes, but anything up around the head,

Speaker 12 that always bothered me. I felt my number one job was protection of the players, enforcing the rules, which are designed to protect the players and allow it to be fair.

Speaker 35 That's interesting, though, that they started to scout refs.

Speaker 37 I'm sure that most teams do that now with advanced analytics and everything.

Speaker 94 So, you were talking about player relationships.

Speaker 33 Sean Avery's one of them.

Speaker 22 We alluded to it earlier.

Speaker 6 Theo Fleury,

Speaker 19 he tried to fight you in the United Center parking lot.

Speaker 68 So, can you tell that story?

Speaker 27 Because that's a fantastic story of what you treated the game and how you were able to evolve with players and your relationship.

Speaker 12 Well, in 1996, Stanley Cup playoffs,

Speaker 12 Calgary Flames, Theo Fleury, great little player, gutsy, but obviously obviously had issues that we now know about.

Speaker 12 Molested by a famous hockey coach in Canada that went to prison and deserves never to get out, as far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 12 But Theo and I were like oil and water. He had disrespect, and I think our size and our stature.

Speaker 90 Two short guys going at him.

Speaker 12 Two little chip-on-the-shoulder, you know, junkyard dog kind of.

Speaker 55 Yeah, two chihuahuas, like

Speaker 169 sharing a fence in the backyard.

Speaker 96 I've been there.

Speaker 12 So

Speaker 12 this particular game, he'd had enough of me. I called three penalties against

Speaker 12 the flames right off the bat, and he got the last one.

Speaker 12 He blew up, he cursed and swore at me, challenged me in the most profane language, which is...

Speaker 54 He called you a shitbag.

Speaker 12 Effing shitbag assholes, really, if you want to be technically correct.

Speaker 68 Shitbag does it just a good enough.

Speaker 43 No, it's effing.

Speaker 12 And so he wanted me to come out into the parking lot after the game. He took his helmet off and threw it at me.
It hit my skate. Now human nature takes over.

Speaker 12 I learned with a big argument with Wayne Gretzky in my very first season in 1980 that I needed to control my emotions, that I could flare up, it could be instinctive, it just comes out, and it was always aggressive.

Speaker 12 So I had this process where I could relax my shoulders, take a big breath. This bucket is sitting at my foot and my legs started quivering.
The muscles are twitching. The adrenaline's flowing.

Speaker 12 I wanted to kick it back in his face.

Speaker 12 Miyagi, I went,

Speaker 72 threw him out of the game.

Speaker 12 Four years later, fast track, he signs a one-year deal with the New York Rangers, free agent, $8 million, okay?

Speaker 12 But he was put in the league-imposed substance abuse program right off the bat.

Speaker 12 So he missed the first part of the season. It's December 19th of 2000, four years after he challenged me in the parking lot at the United Center.
He came came to me at the end of the first period. St.

Speaker 12 Louis Blues are playing Tyson Nash second year pro.

Speaker 12 You know, a trash talking, head flipping, hair kind of like we see down the way here.

Speaker 12 And so Theo came to me with tears in his eyes. He said, listen, I'm trying to clean my life up, honest.
I haven't done Coke in this length of time. I haven't had a drink, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 12 He said, don't let him talk to me like that.

Speaker 40 So I asked, what? Who?

Speaker 12 He told me. Now, human nature might dictate.
You say, you know what? Looks good on you. Remember four years ago, the parking lot, the bucket asshole?

Speaker 135 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 139 F and chitbag asshole, that sort of stuff.

Speaker 96 I saw a wounded human being in front of me.

Speaker 12 I wanted to take a bad situation and make it right.

Speaker 12 So I said, if I can get Tyson Nash here at the start of the next period, right between the two benches at Madison Square Garden on the red line, and I get a sincere apology for you, will you accept it like a man?

Speaker 12 He said, yeah. I said, now if I get him here, promise you won't break a stick over his head.
I said, I promise. So I go right into the visiting coach's room.
Joel Quinville is the coach, class guy.

Speaker 12 I said, Joel, this is what Tyson Nash said to Theo. Joel rolled his eyes.
He said, do you want me to tell him to take his stuff off? He thought I was going to throw him out of the game.

Speaker 12 I said, no, how about an apology? I said, sure, it'd be good for Theo, and it might not even hurt your guy. Great idea.
And he ran into

Speaker 12 the players' locker room. Now, I'm standing with Theo at the start of the next period at the red line.
Out came the St. Louis Blues, and Tyson looks like he wants to do a skatebite.

Speaker 12 He's kind of, you know. He doesn't want to be here.
I flag him over. I said, have you got something to say to this man?

Speaker 12 His lip was quivering. He was affected.
He said, Theo, I'm really sorry, man. He said,

Speaker 12 I went way below the line, and I want to sincerely apologize, and I wish you all the best in what you've got ahead of you. And he tapped him on the shin with his stick.

Speaker 12 I said, Theo, you good with that? He said, yeah, I'm good with that. I said, boy, shake hands.
Let's play. And they did

Speaker 12 I thought that was it it was nothing more than an apology we can make a difference in this world

Speaker 12 and oftentimes we don't know that we did this showed up 10 years later 10 years later 2010 I finished my final game I'm sitting down to write the book Theo released his Playing with Fire book, which is terrific.

Speaker 12 Very dark, but terrific. And in that, he wrote exactly what I put and quoted in my book.
And I tried to make the situation better.

Speaker 12 So I called Tyson Nash and I said, listen, Tyson, Carrie here, I'm writing a book.

Speaker 12 I need your permission to share a story with you and Theo and I. Do you recall Madison Square Garden, December 19th of 2000? The phone went dead quiet, guys.

Speaker 75 It was like,

Speaker 12 he said, Carrie, that was life-altering. That was career-changing.
I said, tell me about it. And I put his own words what that situation meant to him.

Speaker 12 And what's interesting is I go around and I do a couple of NHL team alumni fantasy camps.

Speaker 12 And there's some regular guys that go to, oh, they go to Mario's, they go to Gretz's, they go, you know, and this one gentleman from Vancouver had been to a number of them, and he happened to see within three weeks, he saw me, Theo, and Tyson Nash.

Speaker 12 And each one of us told that story from their perspective.

Speaker 108 That's very interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 41 Hank has been actually ducking an apology that he owes me for like a year.

Speaker 72 He can change a world.

Speaker 41 Do you want to encourage Hank to apologize to us?

Speaker 12 What? Hank, what'd you do, man?

Speaker 40 I didn't do anything. I correctly predicted Patriots winning the Super Bowl, and PFT has yet to apologize to me.

Speaker 83 No, you got.

Speaker 182 Ah, we have a dispute here.

Speaker 72 Hank, got very good.

Speaker 54 Break it up, boys.

Speaker 41 Yeah, very contentious.

Speaker 12 Ah, we have a dispute.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 66 I'm sorry that you misunderstand

Speaker 44 the situation.

Speaker 55 Thank you.

Speaker 61 Go to the box.

Speaker 148 What apologizing like that.

Speaker 3 When you had to break up a fight,

Speaker 2 was there a specific thing you would look for to be like, all right, here's when I can break it up?

Speaker 126 Or did you get in maybe a few times too early and catch one?

Speaker 12 Number one, I'd look for the littlest guy.

Speaker 55 Okay. Yeah.
Smart. Hold him.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 12 And I would see whether he hits left or right. And I'd come in on the weak side.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 12 But there was a,

Speaker 12 remember the Don Koharsky donut situation with Jimmy Schoenfeld in the playoffs? It was Eastern Conference final, Boston Bruins, Terry O'Reilly coaching the Bruins.

Speaker 12 And Jim Schoenfeld was coaching the Jersey Devils.

Speaker 12 And I had game two in Boston. And

Speaker 12 Boston won the first game. Schoenfeld had the Devils coming out, and they were ripping right off the bat.
They were going to dominate physically. And Mo LeMay ran into Sean Burke, the goalie.

Speaker 12 It was Sean's rookie year. He was terrific.
And now we've got one fight start. Willie Plett is fighting with a devil over in the one corner.
And John McClain engages Mo LeMay out at the blue line.

Speaker 12 And Ron Huck Finn is the linesman that is trying to keep LeMay and McClain apart. So I think, I'm going to go in and help them out because they're not fighting yet.

Speaker 12 And just as I go in there, and it's on YouTube, you can watch it, McClain comes over the top with a punch, gets me right between the eyes.

Speaker 55 Boom. But

Speaker 12 not down goes Fraser. Yeah, there we go.
Fraser stayed on his feet, on his skates. And I just got really mad, and I started yanking and pulling and aggressive.

Speaker 12 And I yanked LeMay out of there and put them in the box. I gave McLean,

Speaker 12 he got, let's see, 14 minutes in penalties, and LeMay got a couple more.

Speaker 2 You must have the most hilarious Rolodex, mental Rolodex of names.

Speaker 107 Like every single story just has a billion names, and how the hell do you remember them all?

Speaker 12 I've got a memory like a steel trap, and I can remember plays. Yeah.
And, you know, one of the funniest things that ever happened, I had two guys thank me for giving them penalties.

Speaker 134 And

Speaker 134 really.

Speaker 12 And one was Gretz, and that was in 1980, and he was being sarcastic. He was pissed off, and he deserved to be because I wasn't very good that night.

Speaker 12 But the other guy was big Jim McKenzie, tough guy, six foot four, 235 pounds, a gentleman, though, just a true gentleman.

Speaker 12 And in his second year of pro in the NHL for the Hartford Whalers, I had the last game of the regular season. It was Hartford playing in Washington and afternoon game.
Game's over, nobody's mad.

Speaker 12 And all the visiting team, the Whalers, went off at the Zamboni entrance, and then they walked by the referee's room.

Speaker 12 Stick boys, trainers, coaches, everybody off the ice except 6'4 Jim McKenzie and little me.

Speaker 12 Got off the ice on the rubber mat. Mackenzie looks down at me.
He said, Carrie, if I told you to F off, would you give me misconduct?

Speaker 146 I said, just like that.

Speaker 55 Same reflex. Right.

Speaker 114 Reaction.

Speaker 12 What are you talking about, Jim? I said, the regular season's over, game's over, nobody's mad. He said, I got a bonus in my contract for penalty minutes.

Speaker 12 I'm four pims short, and Coach Ricky Lee never played me one game or one shift. I said,

Speaker 12 what'd you say?

Speaker 96 Very, very quiet, polite.

Speaker 12 He said, F off.

Speaker 65 I yelled at him.

Speaker 39 Say it like you mean it.

Speaker 132 He said, F off.

Speaker 96 I said, you got 10. He said, thank you.

Speaker 42 And he walked to the restaurant.

Speaker 122 That's fancy.

Speaker 146 Fuck off, sir. sir.

Speaker 148 Damn.

Speaker 55 That was awesome.

Speaker 73 Where's that line, though?

Speaker 41 Because I assume that during the course of a game, you hear all sorts of stuff, all sorts of trash talk. So you can't penalize everybody that's just talking a little bit of shit back and forth.

Speaker 41 Where do you draw the line and say, okay, this is too much? You're going to the bin?

Speaker 12 Well, you know what?

Speaker 12 It's personal. When it becomes personal,

Speaker 12 I could have an FU contest with either of you guys. And as long as we're not waving arms and you're embarrassing me in that regard, if it's just between us,

Speaker 12 I can take that i i'm not i'm not quick-triggered

Speaker 12 if you call me coward gutless homer you bought the farm you bought the farm because i'm not i'm none of that yeah i'm none of that yeah that's i've given players the and and one coach the career ban oh what is that don't ever talk to me again if you ever talk to me again i'm going to run you wow and they didn't they never talked to you well i reinstated uh alexander McGillie.

Speaker 112 You have a personal career band.

Speaker 55 You had a hearing for him.

Speaker 12 I just reinstated him. I said, okay, you're off the lifetime band.
The coach was Mark Crawford.

Speaker 5 And did he ever get off or no?

Speaker 12 Oh, no. I got him the next year.

Speaker 12 He actually, the game was a 95.

Speaker 12 It was a shortened season when we had the player strike. So we're just come back and we're getting ready for playoffs.
And

Speaker 12 Quebec Nordique's, Mark Crawford, rookie coach, Quebec Nordiques. They moved the next season to Denver, and they won the cup.
So in this year, 95, I had them the night before. They lost 1-0 in Tampa.

Speaker 12 Tampa had a good team. Now they go down, and they're getting beat by Florida Panthers that was like 20 points behind.

Speaker 176 They were out of it.

Speaker 55 And

Speaker 12 Peter Forsberg was a rookie for Colorado at the time.

Speaker 122 Quebec, yeah.

Speaker 12 He gets a penalty with three and change left, thereabouts in the game. It seals the deal for Florida.
Crow wouldn't put his guys on the ice. He wanted me to skate over and have a word with him.

Speaker 12 Now, once you put yourself as a ref, you put yourself in that position, you got to eat Crow,

Speaker 12 pun intended. And I go over there, and he ripped me most profane, foul, vile, awful I've never heard from a coach.

Speaker 12 And the veins are bulging. The adrenaline's flicking.
And I said, are you done? He said, yeah, I'm done. I said, that's the most disgusting dialogue I've ever heard from a coach.

Speaker 12 And I said, there's not one guy on this bench, your players, that believe

Speaker 12 what you just said. You could have got more penalties, but you and I are going to save that for another day.

Speaker 55 Those were the old warning guys.

Speaker 168 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 I said, but for now, I need four players on the ice, and I need them now, please.

Speaker 12 Game ends. I am still like cooking in the dressing room.
I'm with Ray Scappinello, the little linesman, the Hall of Fame guy, and Greg Dvorsky. And

Speaker 12 I'm sitting by the door,

Speaker 12 because I always sat by the door. I want to be the first line of defense.
Knock on the door. I get up.

Speaker 116 Here's Crow.

Speaker 12 He's got his head down. He said, Carrie, can I have a word with you? I said, yeah, quick, come on in.
I said, have a beer. You want a beer?

Speaker 65 Grab a beer.

Speaker 12 I said, what's up? He said, listen, I apologize. You're right.
He said, that was terrible. You didn't deserve it.

Speaker 12 But he said, my team's been picked to win the cup, and we're going like this at a bad time of year. And he said, I don't know what to do.
I gave him some advice.

Speaker 12 I said, Al Arbor, best team I ever saw was the four,

Speaker 12 it was a dynasty. The Islanders.
The Islanders, four cups. And the discipline came from behind the bench.
If Al Arbor yelled at me, I knew I must have screwed up because he never yelled.

Speaker 12 Only when there was something worth yelling about. I said, you, on the other hand, you never shut up.
I said, you got your players all upset. So he said,

Speaker 12 like, am I the worst? I said, I'll tell you what, ask the two linesmen. They said, oh, yeah, you're the worst for sure.
So that verified that. I said, you know what? I accept your apology, though.

Speaker 12 I don't hold a grudge.

Speaker 12 But I will tell you right here in front of these two fine linesmen to be my judge and witness, I said, if you ever open your mouth again and swear at me, this is going to be your one-time warning.

Speaker 12 throughout the rest of our career together. It's a career warning.
Would you accept it? He said, yeah, I accept it. We shook hands on it.
We had another beer over it.

Speaker 12 And next year, now they're in the same time of year, just before the playoffs, and they're in Anaheim. Claude Lemieux is now playing for Colorado.
And

Speaker 12 one of the defensemen,

Speaker 12 I think it was Adam Foote,

Speaker 12 breaks a stick on a guy. Late in the game, one goal game.
Boom, up goes the arm. Obvious.
And I am 85 feet away, and I hear Crowe's squeaky little voice.

Speaker 160 Carrie, what what the f?

Speaker 100 That's all he got out.

Speaker 55 Boom.

Speaker 12 I T-boned him.

Speaker 12 Now he's got a bench penalty.

Speaker 12 He just dropped his head

Speaker 12 because he knew, right?

Speaker 55 Career warning. I told him.

Speaker 12 So Claude Lemieux came to me.

Speaker 132 He says, Carrie, look at the score and the time.

Speaker 12 Just give us one penalty. Don't give us two penalties.
I said, Pepe,

Speaker 12 you go tell

Speaker 55 Crow.

Speaker 135 Florida.

Speaker 12 He says, Florida, what the F you talk about? We're in Anaheim. I said, you tell him Florida, he knows.
And he never opened his mouth again.

Speaker 72 Oh, that's so good.

Speaker 41 I like the lifetime ban on people.

Speaker 54 That's so good.

Speaker 109 Well, this has been awesome.

Speaker 72 Thank you so much.

Speaker 12 Hey, my pleasure. We appreciate it.
You guys are great.

Speaker 22 Carrie Fraser, the final call.

Speaker 3 He's going to book out all these stories.

Speaker 41 You know what's interesting?

Speaker 41 I think you're the most famous person named Carrie according to the internet.

Speaker 55 Carry, really?

Speaker 73 No, when you type in Carrie, Carrie Underwood?

Speaker 42 No, that's different.

Speaker 73 Carrie Fraser is the first one that pops up. Interesting.

Speaker 26 Interesting.

Speaker 179 Well, I mean, listen, I would have loved for you to ref anything I did because I feel like you got the great temperament for it.

Speaker 12 Well, I have one question for you two guys.

Speaker 12 What is it like truly, and I mean this seriously, to be the number one

Speaker 12 in your genre?

Speaker 41 Well, you always have Paul Bissenek calling you up and asking you for tips and advice.

Speaker 46 So he's nasty.

Speaker 13 I love him.

Speaker 56 I love him.

Speaker 187 Yeah. No, it's good.
It's fun.

Speaker 72 Yeah. It's fun.

Speaker 12 Well, well-deserved, guys.

Speaker 41 Yeah, we have a very, very good time doing our job.

Speaker 40 I can tell.

Speaker 33 Thank you so much, Carrie.

Speaker 54 Appreciate it. My pleasure.

Speaker 68 Okay, we're wrapping up the best of.

Speaker 20 If you're still with us, thank you.

Speaker 19 It means you probably have to work, and we feel bad for you.

Speaker 18 Again, one last reminder.

Speaker 75 We will be back on Sunday night to wrap, to recap college football playoffs and week 17.

Speaker 90 But let's finish up our best of with our best of us.

Speaker 18 So we have some best of Monday readings.

Speaker 85 We have some best of

Speaker 19 boomers. And we have some best of fantasy fuckboys.

Speaker 22 So enjoy our narcissism. Yeah, right.

Speaker 80 Here it is.

Speaker 37 So we're going to wrap up the best of, the best of, and we will see everyone on Monday for a brand new part of my take, the last one of 2019.

Speaker 192 Last one of the decade.

Speaker 37 Last one of the decade.

Speaker 100 Damn.

Speaker 41 Love you guys.

Speaker 122 It's good to be back, Teach.

Speaker 41 Behind a paywall boom, just like we always hope.

Speaker 3 We start in Diarrhea, Chili Town, Town, where the 49ers faced off against the NFL League leader in passing, Andy Dalton.

Speaker 56 Huh?

Speaker 104 Joe mixing a water looks hungover Sunday, averaging 1.5 yards a rush.

Speaker 209 Was it Friday?

Speaker 204 Because Deemo Samuel showed up and stole the show.

Speaker 86 Jimmy Garoppolo feasted all over Cincinnati like it was a San Jannaro.

Speaker 197 Hey, Boom.

Speaker 41 Who put all this spaghetti in my cinnamon and my chili?

Speaker 208 I think I got to the diarrhea.

Speaker 204 When the moon hits your eye like a big spiral pie, that's a morry.

Speaker 169 George Skittle tasted the rainbow and the 49ers looked like I did back in the 80s when a young schwam was at Candlestick Park watching the catch.

Speaker 139 Oh, how time passes by.

Speaker 197 Niners 41, Bengal 17.

Speaker 173 Dick, dicks, dick.

Speaker 132 And Mile High, where Michael Vickfangio turned the dogs loose on Mitch Trubisky all afternoon long.

Speaker 197 As Drake famously said, his placco only, I said, only partly.

Speaker 169 I only love the height and the spirals, I'm sorry. And the Bears are left wondering, imagine if I never mitched the bitskies.

Speaker 197 To quote the famous Eddie Pinero, his game-winning kick was God's plan.

Speaker 197 God's plan. Bears 16, Broncos 14.

Speaker 169 In H-Town, where it was Gardner It's Reigning Menshu, hallelujah, as the Jaguars had a ferocious fourth quarter comeback and Doug Marone said, Utah, give me two, but couldn't get a point break Jalen Mason Ramsey told Doug Marone if you ain't got no giddy up then giddy out my way as the two exchange words on the sidelines what's that little Nasi X Giddy all the kids are sing boom Houston's got all the horses in the back back back back back back back back back back back back back Texan 13 Jaguar 12 we start in Indianapolis where Zach Pascal Siakam is a rising star in the Colts offense and Jim Ursay is drunkenly asking his fans why not Jacoby Brissette for the future of the franchise don't pull the plug on the Colts kicker yet as Adam Vinitieri Shivo came back from the dead on Sunday.

Speaker 209 The Falcons fall to one and two as Matt Ryan Dunn was unable to complete his final drive.

Speaker 72 Too soon, boom.

Speaker 197 Colts 27, Falcons 24.

Speaker 148 Whoop!

Speaker 102 Whoop!

Speaker 211 Whoop! They're outlining a new report they say outlines the treatment of dolphins at the three SeaWorld locations.

Speaker 211 They claim these dolphins are suffering under inhumane conditions and are forced to perform tricks that cause them injuries and also that their living conditions are unacceptable.

Speaker 197 We go to Foxborough where the Jets saw the Patriots and said, let's give them something to talk about.

Speaker 169 Fucking about love, love, love.

Speaker 204 Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

Speaker 169 Hey, hey, who let Trey Wing go in here?

Speaker 197 The weekend started with turmoil for the Patriots as Tom Brady kicked Antonio Brown out of his Marshall New house faster than Bridget Moydahan after announcing she was pregnant.

Speaker 169 I said him high, I stayed him high, I said him high.

Speaker 197 And you sted him low, sted him low, sted him low. And as for Patriots, minus 21 gamblers, they got sted him in the balls after Jared Stedham threw a late pick six.

Speaker 197 The Patriots kept the treasure, but lost Julian Edelman to a rib injury, which will now allow him to suck his own deck even more on his Instagram thirst traps. Patriots 30, just 14.

Speaker 210 Standing on the corner, James Winson, Tampa, Florida, such a fine sight to see. He's driving that train high on cocaine.

Speaker 161 Daniel Jones, you better watch your speed.

Speaker 147 Come on, Madga.

Speaker 161 Don't kick it that

Speaker 56 way.

Speaker 161 The Giants stole a game like they were crapped.

Speaker 86 Giants 32.

Speaker 197 Bucks 31.

Speaker 55 The G-Men.

Speaker 197 The New York Football Giants.

Speaker 96 The GGG

Speaker 209 To the nation's capital where Tom Terrific came to Smoking Jay Gruden's house for an easy W.

Speaker 197 Julian Adelman was rolling in the deep secondary as Josh Gordon Lightfoot made a wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald of the Redskins secondary.

Speaker 208 Tom Brady seamlessly ordered a touchdown as Ryan Lizzo made the Redskins defense 100% his bitch.

Speaker 209 Pat Patriots 33, Redskins 7.

Speaker 74 I don't know if that's how Ryan Lizzo does it.

Speaker 209 I think it is. 100% his bitch.

Speaker 197 In Cincinnati, where DD Kanye Westbrook put on a Sunday service, even though Andy Dalton stuck around for graduation at TCU, it was the college dropout, Leonard Fournette, who had a great game.

Speaker 197 Josh Lambo, Geini Mercy, went 4-4 with his kicks.

Speaker 204 And you know what the Midwest is?

Speaker 197 Dalton's reckless. The Bengals rock and dunchain.
That's a heavy necklace. And it's 8-0-weight and heartbreaks in Cincinnati yet again.
Jaguars, 27, the Bengals, 17.

Speaker 197 Some spread.

Speaker 69 We start in Camden City where the battle of the 2017 first rounders rounders set the stage for a thrilling game.

Speaker 86 It was a supporting cast that took center stage when Carlos, Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife, rumbled and bumbled and whap his way to 116 yards and a score.

Speaker 204 And Tyrico Bosco Hill scored twice as much as Toledo did on Saturday.

Speaker 204 Deshanti Watson was always on time with his receivers as the Clemson quarterback Jarul this matchup and the Texans are on fire fast while the Chiefs are left willing to suck a dick for a healthy offensive lineman.

Speaker 204 Texans 31, Chiefs 24.

Speaker 197 What?

Speaker 102 Whoop! Whoop!

Speaker 197 And the big easy, where Brees are dying at an alarming rate as they're missing Teddy Bridgewater with claims that Drew is too waspy, even though he'll get a yellow jacket one day.

Speaker 197 Alvin Camaradona in the Saints offense was plugged up worse than a nose after a night at an Argentinian nightclub. Dan Quinn Snyder has his defense jazzed up and ready to go in this big match.

Speaker 197 And his job is safe as there won't be a Quedrum head coach this week. Falcons 26, the Saints, none.

Speaker 169 Whoop! Whip!

Speaker 204 Out in western New York, the Kiko Alonzo Blowjob Bull as the Eagles and Bills square up.

Speaker 86 Carson Wednesday got over the hump as Drake and Josh Allen said, hug me, brother, after a tough loss to the Bills.

Speaker 86 Miles Sanders, I have a feeling, T, that I screwed that up because I never watched the show.

Speaker 213 And all the young guys in the studio are laughing at this old boom.

Speaker 101 You're swam.

Speaker 209 Miles Sanders was running faster than Sodic, chasing rings while the Buffalo secondary tailed him into the end zone.

Speaker 204 Debbie Dove, Dallas Goddard, took on six football players at once to score.

Speaker 212 And Al Shawn Jeffrey Epstein isn't going to leave you hanging, Eagles fans, as Philadelphia's season was saved in Buffalo.

Speaker 139 Eagles 31, Bills 13.

Speaker 210 In Indianapolis, where Eric and Bron James, not trying to get into a sentence battle, treated a Houston secondary like a bunch of Daryl Maurys.

Speaker 214 Frank, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my Reich, has a the wheels in motion for an AFC Chop Crowd after a big day for Ms. Colts? The Texans had no answer for Indy's rushing game.

Speaker 210 As Bill O'Brien said, I like big buttons, but I cannot lie.

Speaker 102 Baby got Marlon Mack, 80-30, Houston, 23.

Speaker 181 Down on the bayou where Drew Scarface Breeze asked the Niners who's the bad guy, only to have San Francisco answer with, say hello to my kidle friend.

Speaker 213 as the Pro Bowl tight end sealed the victory, running like a cockroach, refusing to die.

Speaker 181 Sean Payton Payton spent all week preparing for Jimmy World Garoppolo by telling his quarterback Drew Brees, it's just tastes of time.

Speaker 181 Everything will be just fine, but everything might not be so fine now that the Saints don't get the playoffs at Dome Sweet Dome.

Speaker 179 49ers 48, Saints 46.

Speaker 146 Whip!

Speaker 117 Whip!

Speaker 102 Some score.

Speaker 210 In Dallas, where stocks are up for Aaron Dow Jones, Amari Alexandra Cooper told the Packers defense, homie daddy, as he gobbled up yards like a voodoo clam and sucked and fucked his way to 226 yards.

Speaker 210 Aaron Rodgers said to Danica Dakrich, we may like each other, but don't think you're getting a ring on my watch.

Speaker 197 Up in the box, Jerry Jones invited George Bush, but the Packers said put down that W and hold this L

Speaker 204 degenerous.

Speaker 214 Packers 34, Cowboy 24.

Speaker 197 To the Meowdalands for the Cat Bull at Petlife Stadium.

Speaker 69 This is a beeline town.

Speaker 88 No room for Saquon.

Speaker 69 Bark, Bark, Barkley.

Speaker 197 Sam Darnold Schwarzenegger said, I'll be back, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach.

Speaker 213 As he looked at the New York receiving core and said, our money isn't walking through that door.

Speaker 102 It's not a Tuma.

Speaker 197 The Jade Giants head coach Pat Sherman

Speaker 146 to death serious heat on his seat there.

Speaker 102 We're not talking about a Mike Francis.

Speaker 132 I got caught in between a Buma and a Schwarzenegger.

Speaker 195 We're not talking about a Mike Francis office child fought, folks.

Speaker 195 Speaking of hot seats, the Jets coach, Adam Gasolina, temporarily put out the fire Jets 3427.

Speaker 74 The only boom.

Speaker 56 What's up, boys? What up?

Speaker 29 It's Geo Gorgonzola, Mario Magazo, Carmine Falcone, Brandon fucking Bowling.

Speaker 55 Yo, Brandon.

Speaker 104 What's up?

Speaker 47 Oh, fuck. I didn't even do a fucking name.

Speaker 65 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 216 What up, boys?

Speaker 58 It's Shoelace Santorini.

Speaker 164 What's up, fuck as this is Bowser Dong.

Speaker 196 Hello?

Speaker 41 My name is Bernard Sanders.

Speaker 201 What's up?

Speaker 74 My name is Johnny Sodorino.

Speaker 164 What's up, fuckheads?

Speaker 170 It's Mike Torico.

Speaker 86 Yo, what's up?

Speaker 73 This is, I'm Eli the Cat.

Speaker 55 Oh, what's up, Eli?

Speaker 72 Fucking pussy ass bitch.

Speaker 55 Fuck you.

Speaker 178 I'm a piss all over your house, Hank.

Speaker 164 All right, what's up, guys? It's Randy Ravioli.

Speaker 213 What's up, Randy? Lorenzo Linguine.

Speaker 212 Tommy Tordellini.

Speaker 213 Mac Aroney, Frankie Fettuccini.

Speaker 180 My stardom this week is use that name like Poppy.

Speaker 213 That's fine. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 49 My stardom is your engines.

Speaker 216 Cause it's fantasy fuckboys. Jesus and I'm fucking ready to roll.

Speaker 170 And your stardom is this?

Speaker 22 Your engines.

Speaker 216 Get your engines started because it's fantasy fuckboys time.

Speaker 2 My stardom this week is marble raising.

Speaker 215 Hell yeah. Better than the ponies.

Speaker 148 Hell yeah.

Speaker 164 I'm starting fat bears. I'm talking big old bears.

Speaker 164 They're eating seven kinds of fish like it's Christmas time up in the Alaska.

Speaker 164 They're getting fat as fuck. Only Toledo.

Speaker 213 They're so big and hairy.

Speaker 199 I thought it was my ex-wife.

Speaker 161 Oh, got him.

Speaker 180 Am I snot him this week?

Speaker 213 PFT already said it.

Speaker 164 Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes. These guys, fuck.

Speaker 123 These guys are going to throw it up and down the field. I couldn't imagine them if they're not taking these guys in the 2017 draft.
I'm not upset about it.

Speaker 159 You're totally not hanging on there.

Speaker 170 I'm here to tell you this weekend. I'm starting money.

Speaker 164 That's right.

Speaker 170 All the sticky green cash, all the cash money, all the change in my pocket.

Speaker 199 You know what you can use money to buy.

Speaker 164 That's right.

Speaker 171 Soup, because it's soup cheap.

Speaker 102 Oh, tax return season, bitches.

Speaker 55 I'm talking chili soup.

Speaker 41 Chili's a soup. I'm talking chowder, bisque, you name it.

Speaker 170 Wedding soup, broccoli cheddar, baked potato.

Speaker 199 I could go on and on and on.

Speaker 216 My stardom is candy corn.

Speaker 193 People think it's just a fucking Halloween festival season, but it's delicious year-round. Don't let the haters shame you into not liking and buying candy corn.

Speaker 123 It's delicious. That's right, Mario.

Speaker 170 Give you some plumbers, butt.

Speaker 65 Clog, you're right up.

Speaker 216 $365 a year.

Speaker 159 Get it, Mario.

Speaker 20 I'm starting survival pools this weekend.

Speaker 41 Thousands and thousands of dollars from donations no bigger than $20 each.

Speaker 73 If you're still in your pool, stay the course.

Speaker 41 We're taking teams that are playing the Dolphins. Take the Jets, my beloved New York Jets.

Speaker 40 Don't overthink it.

Speaker 41 I'm from Brooklyn.

Speaker 20 I'm sitting.

Speaker 164 My stardom is CBS music.

Speaker 75 Get ready for Saturday afternoon.

Speaker 154 I'm so excited for the big game.

Speaker 196 Gonna watch that music.

Speaker 72 Hopefully, Vern Lunk was in somewhere having a great time.

Speaker 110 I miss you, Vern. I miss you.

Speaker 216 I miss your little fat, little cheeks, unknown, my stardom this week is Austin Rivers. He got teed up.
Or no, he told his dad to get teed up.

Speaker 69 He said, fuck his dad.

Speaker 216 Fuck your mother. Get teed up.
He doesn't give a fuck.

Speaker 215 He doesn't care that his dad's sperm is the reason he exists. He said, fuck him.

Speaker 100 He's stardoming. That's me.

Speaker 72 Let's go.

Speaker 164 Anapus Rex style.

Speaker 170 My stardom is Zlottin. He retired from the galaxy or he left the galaxy.

Speaker 213 I don't fucking know, but all he said was, you're welcome.

Speaker 201 You're welcome.

Speaker 72 That's my boy.

Speaker 195 That's how you leave, and that's talking football.

Speaker 164 Amen, Enzo.

Speaker 14 My sitem is Silva.

Speaker 193 It was a terrible week for Silva financially.

Speaker 58 It's now only worth $17.60 per ounce.

Speaker 215 That's down three cents from last week.

Speaker 210 Breaking Finance.

Speaker 170 Shit, that sucks.

Speaker 164 I'm sitting methamphetamines.

Speaker 208 That's right.

Speaker 196 I feel the need for speed.

Speaker 164 The need for speed, but I'm going to give my bank a crank for my TV this weekend on Netflix because Breaking Bad's coming out with a movie. It's time to Metflix and Pill, not Netflix and Jill.

Speaker 164 breaking bad.

Speaker 174 Check it out. My sitem is Purdue.

Speaker 213 Purdue. No fun Purdue.
I try not to make fun of Purdue, but they banned gambling on Purdue at Purdue.

Speaker 181 Come on, Purdue.

Speaker 196 That's Purdue.

Speaker 46 My sitem is gray hairs.

Speaker 216 LeBron's beard went gray.

Speaker 193 All the China situation stressing him out.

Speaker 196 He's getting old. Oh, he's looking bad.

Speaker 215 He's a die job quick.

Speaker 196 You know, gray hair, Shane.

Speaker 123 That's fine. It's fine, Freddy.

Speaker 198 I'm sitting doing nice things for your mother.

Speaker 180 That's right, because it's going to backfire on her.

Speaker 199 You try to do something nice for her birthday, set her up with some, like, some nice tickets to a good baseball game.

Speaker 14 Send her to the playoffs.

Speaker 73 Next thing you know, the internet's talking about some random guy fucking her.

Speaker 58 My sitem is Space Jam 2.

Speaker 198 If you watch Space Jam 2, you support China and all they're doing and the bad stuff.

Speaker 213 And we already disavowed that shit.

Speaker 112 LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China because he wants to sell a stupid movie Space Jam 2.

Speaker 170 two space jam one's better MB's better than LeBron great beard old fuck my cousin sells on my bootlegs on the corner though if you want to see before it comes out however my system is Halloween that shit's over put it in the rear view that isn't a fucking October thing it's November stop worrying about getting dressed up and focus on the real world we're back in no not November boys get it keep those balls high and dry get it may I finish please I am sitting the Washington Redskins insurance program I'm sitting the medical staff will not stand for that and by policy every American will have their own blue medical tent provided to them in their backyard.

Speaker 41 We will screen for tumors on heads. Do not worry about it.
We have you covered.

Speaker 208 My situm, load management.

Speaker 213 They sacked Kawhi the other night.

Speaker 212 ESPN's mad.

Speaker 208 Load management is sitting.

Speaker 196 That's all I got.

Speaker 201 No, I don't manage my loads.

Speaker 216 I bust them all day, every day.

Speaker 42 Hey, good. Hey, it's no no, no, Villa.

Speaker 164 That's got a load manage.

Speaker 22 My situm is crimson tide.

Speaker 216 I prefer my tides to be high or low, not fucking red. Certainly not relation to an elephant.

Speaker 133 What's up, Ty Pod?

Speaker 56 Go fucking targets.

Speaker 55 You look like some little ravioli.

Speaker 41 I'm sitting Ty Gurley.

Speaker 199 That fraud motherfucker.

Speaker 41 He's not a cat owner. He thinks he's a cat owner.
He says that he's a cat agent, is what he is. You ain't a cat fan until you have to pick my shit up with your bay hands and throw it out.

Speaker 170 My sleeper's laser pointer.

Speaker 196 Laser point?

Speaker 73 Laser pointed is always a great time.

Speaker 174 Not just for snipers anymore.

Speaker 170 I love fucking playing with a laser point. I'll stalk that bitch like a pouncy brother you never heard of before.

Speaker 115 Oh,

Speaker 21 that's it. That's my sleep it.

Speaker 138 Also, I'm going to take it.

Speaker 20 My sleep it is actually catnap.

Speaker 216 My sit him is Paul Bizonette.

Speaker 122 Oh.

Speaker 55 I beat him up once.

Speaker 216 I'll beat him up again. He's chirping my boy Hank on Twitter.

Speaker 210 Fuck him.

Speaker 74 I was wondering if you knew who Brandon Bullig was, so good that you do.

Speaker 21 Seven fishes. Oh, I did.

Speaker 107 I'm impressed you did know who Brandon Bullig.

Speaker 183 I was like, what are you doing?

Speaker 73 No, I didn't.

Speaker 66 I literally just searched Paul Bizonette fight.

Speaker 110 Oh, and it was.

Speaker 66 Yeah, Bullig kicked his face. I should have said Ryan Reeves, though, because he was the one.

Speaker 99 He dummied him. What's up with Biz? He's just chirping you?

Speaker 66 We put up a picture on PMT. That was like

Speaker 66 from Picture Day, and he was like, great picture minus Hank.

Speaker 66 And then he came in with a chirp about my suit like two weeks later, like with the least unoriginal chirp of all time.

Speaker 41 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I expected something more clever out of Paul Bissenet than just Great Picture minus Hank.

Speaker 37 I mean, he's an all-time chirper, right?

Speaker 65 He's a locker room guy.

Speaker 68 He keeps the boys loose.

Speaker 21 You'd think that he'd be able to do that.

Speaker 33 You'll have to have him on the show to discuss

Speaker 47 this very disappointing development here. All right.

Speaker 95 Catch these hands.

Speaker 210 My sleeper is candles.

Speaker 207 It's candle season.

Speaker 213 Like that candle.

Speaker 123 Don't go outside. Just light a candle.
Give yourself a little extra ambience.

Speaker 216 Max.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 65 Like that

Speaker 213 330 SEC game.

Speaker 212 Hit that candle.

Speaker 88 Feels like fall.

Speaker 55 That's right.

Speaker 164 Like that John Wick.

Speaker 14 My sleeper is melatonin.

Speaker 199 I'm sleeping melatonin. It's over the couch.

Speaker 41 It's a bottle. Stay away from big farmer.
You're sleeping. There's melatonin this weekend.

Speaker 138 Gives you great dreams.

Speaker 41 Wake up feeling 100%.

Speaker 199 gets rid of heart attacks fuck you bernie

Speaker 198 feel the bud my sleeper is Mike Golik Mike Golick will give you a butt massage that will put you to sleep he gave a butt massage live on air today holy shit that guy gave a butt massage tf key probably wants one of them

Speaker 215 ain't got an ass like this guy yeah stugat fans you fuck boy

Speaker 216 and my sleeper is leaving beers outside to get naturally refrigerated

Speaker 55 it's as primal as it gets and it saves you a few bucks for beers outside beer

Speaker 164 outside beer is the best you ever drink a bush camo beer and you pull out of the snow talks to your bro you used to buy 30 packs just to get the orange one

Speaker 216 yes my sleeper is dan quinn he's not fired weird weird that's fucked up really fucking weird my sleeper is lions not maddie p even though he's pretty good but actual lions there was a protest in iraq and they took they had the police had dogs tell me about geopolitical situation

Speaker 216 i don't know about the geopolitics of it, but having lions to go against dogs is fucking gangsters.

Speaker 90 All right, Peace Cecil, my man.

Speaker 174 That's my sleeper. No, not November.
Remember, boys, if you're listening to this, no more nuts.

Speaker 86 You got a nut when you're in December.

Speaker 164 Don't you fucking nut.

Speaker 42 Just let that fucking masculinity and machismo build up and boil up in your brain.

Speaker 159 Wet dream season.

Speaker 158 Yeah.

Speaker 164 If you're not nutting your parents, your childhood bed, when you're going back for Thanksgiving break, you're doing no-nut November incorrect.

Speaker 199 I'm going to fuck so many chicks in my sleep.

Speaker 92 That's no nut November.

Speaker 11 What a fucking weird thing.

Speaker 41 I move that we switch it to Low December.

Speaker 73 We just nut as much as possible.

Speaker 138 Okay.

Speaker 55 I like that. November voice.
I like that.

Speaker 186 My,

Speaker 22 she's 25, boyfriend, he's 27, of two years is obsessed with Dave and Busters.

Speaker 32 Fair. So far, I don't see a problem.

Speaker 116 I really don't know where to start with this, and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wit's end dealing with my boyfriend.

Speaker 68 Some context, we have been together for two years, and he is overall fantastic.

Speaker 33 Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible.

Speaker 68 For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them.

Speaker 33 That's a try-hard move.

Speaker 79 He'll comfort me after a tough day at work.

Speaker 22 I work at a call center and get some crazy ones.

Speaker 68 For the most part, he is also very respectful of me.

Speaker 186 This sounds like a great relationship, PFT.

Speaker 68 We were both raised Catholic, and he's very active in the church and an overall stand-up guy, which I admire a lot.

Speaker 107 Literally, the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave and Busters.

Speaker 192 I'd say that he's the total package.

Speaker 129 This is the total package.

Speaker 20 I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him.

Speaker 58 I guess I will just get to the bad part.

Speaker 37 My boyfriend absolutely must go to Davin Busters once a week or else he throws a tantrum.

Speaker 51 I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum.

Speaker 87 We are talking crying, stomping, etc.

Speaker 22 It's bad.

Speaker 186 That's, again,

Speaker 41 Davin Busters is awesome.

Speaker 110 Yeah. So this this is a little crazy.

Speaker 41 None of this behavior is abnormal to me.

Speaker 87 He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to, quote, go to Busters.

Speaker 99 Why are you leaving Dave out of it, though?

Speaker 41 Like, I admire the fact that he's shortened it, that he's Busters.

Speaker 73 That he's got his own pet name for Dave and Busters.

Speaker 41 Basically, you're in a relationship with three guys right now: your boyfriend, Buster, and Dave.

Speaker 40 Dave.

Speaker 187 And it's been more than a week.

Speaker 20 If it's been more than a week, he'll say we haven't been in, quote, forever.

Speaker 112 I love this guy. I want to be best friends with this guy.

Speaker 41 This guy is giving off major, like, I grew up in like some weird cult-like environment vibes, right?

Speaker 41 And all these prizes, yeah, and Dave and Buster's was a player mural champion.

Speaker 132 Yeah, I like this.

Speaker 69 I like this.

Speaker 73 It was his first introduction to electricity, and so he just like fell in love with it.

Speaker 18 Yeah, scratch MJ's competitiveness.

Speaker 132 It's this guy's competitiveness.

Speaker 37 I've tried talking it through with him.

Speaker 36 I have suggested other restaurants, even other barcades, but it has to be

Speaker 41 not the same. They not the same burgers, they don't have the power play card, they don't have the million dollar midway.

Speaker 83 There's so many things, yes, so many games.

Speaker 41 Like, take me to a Chuck E. Cheese, and I will throw a fucking fit.

Speaker 22 Also, new barcades, they always do like the hipster throwback games.

Speaker 186 Like, oh, we have the Simpsons game.

Speaker 20 Don't you love it? Nostalgia.

Speaker 44 Davin Busters has everything.

Speaker 186 They have the hits, they have the old stuff, they have the new stuff.

Speaker 80 You got to go to David Busters.

Speaker 41 Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes. Because, like, there's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of big buck hunters

Speaker 41 and you select your game and they give you zombies.

Speaker 41 Shout out anyone who still has cruise in the usa uh when i tell him i don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone he says something like what do you mean you love busters i give you all the prizes this guy's giving away the prizes it's not even about the material things it's about the process that he really loves that's more than just a stuffed animal yeah that's more than uh the the bouncy ball the crazy bouncy balls yeah that's it's more than the like weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people Those are only available like being redeemed for tickets.

Speaker 41 You can't buy those on the normal market.

Speaker 80 You think you should buy beanie babies,

Speaker 125 knockoff beanie babies these days?

Speaker 165 Hell no. Keychains?

Speaker 41 Yeah, you better believe he's got keychains.

Speaker 187 When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him.

Speaker 26 Now you are a good girlfriend.

Speaker 74 And he makes me follow him around to each game to play together.

Speaker 154 That's it. Oh, wait, no, no.

Speaker 21 I pressed him about it, and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at DNB's and considers it, quote, the single best day of his life.

Speaker 80 You know, holy shit.

Speaker 88 I love this fucking guy.

Speaker 41 This guy's Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 80 Yeah, he might be.

Speaker 164 I won so much.

Speaker 99 Absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do.

Speaker 20 Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying, I just want to do that again.

Speaker 44 That specific thing.

Speaker 41 And you know what? Like the more I think about it, like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool video games and sports, that's exactly what we do with football.

Speaker 36 Yeah, and we're just.

Speaker 112 It's also, what's the alternative?

Speaker 68 Going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic?

Speaker 16 I'd go to Dave and Buster's.

Speaker 41 You know what's depressing is driving past a Dave and Busters and not going.

Speaker 94 Yeah, be like, man, I really wish I could go away.

Speaker 41 And everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into Dave and Busters.

Speaker 46 As we're going into Busters.

Speaker 118 Yeah.

Speaker 186 How do I help him move past this?

Speaker 20 I really want to keep dating this man.

Speaker 18 I know nostalgia can be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable.

Speaker 143 Please help.

Speaker 23 Too long didn't read.

Speaker 20 My boyfriend is obsessed with DNBs and won't accept not going there at least once a week.

Speaker 18 We have a great relationship other than that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 3 I don't see any problem with this.

Speaker 51 No.

Speaker 73 You need to just...

Speaker 41 You're dating the coolest guy on the planet.

Speaker 80 Yes.

Speaker 21 The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Busters than him.

Speaker 93 That's the only way.

Speaker 33 You cannot tell him not to go to Busters.

Speaker 3 You cannot tell him, hey, we, you know, let's skip a week because then he'll say, we haven't been there in forever.

Speaker 29 You can't have him go solo.

Speaker 24 The only solution, if you really don't want to go to Busters, is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game.

Speaker 41 That's exactly right.

Speaker 41 You have to win more tickets than him one time.

Speaker 46 Yes. That's really it.

Speaker 83 And he will never go again.

Speaker 73 He'll never go again.

Speaker 41 Yeah. Or just like, what if they go on a vacation? They probably can't go on a vacation.

Speaker 116 I think they probably go to vacations around Davin Busters.

Speaker 73 Only in cities that have Davin Busters in them?

Speaker 41 Like, you can't go overseas.

Speaker 83 They've been to Tampa many times.

Speaker 99 Yeah, geez.

Speaker 78 Yeah.

Speaker 41 There's one on every block.

Speaker 58 It's like Starbucks in tampa oh man all right that's our monday reading shout out that guy if we can if someone knows that guy i would love to talk to him let's go to davin buster's with him yes i would yes new york i we will fly you out i love anybody that's depending on where you live that's that passionate about any like weird small things yes i just find them fascinating someone has to know this guy because There can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because of the best day of my life.

Speaker 212 We'll quote the single best day of his life.

Speaker 41 I mean, the staff at the Davin Buster's definitely knows him. He's a regular.

Speaker 40 He's the only one that walks into a David Buster's and says, I'll have the usual.

Speaker 20 And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar.

Speaker 41 No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name.

Speaker 78 You show up and everyone's like, hey, here he comes.

Speaker 23 He probably changed his name to Davin Buster.

Speaker 150 Maybe Dave Buster.

Speaker 37 All right, Hank, decide what you want us to do for our Monday reading.

Speaker 22 Here are the two headlines.

Speaker 2 The first is why straight men are joining masturbation cult clubs and the second cult, I think.

Speaker 119 The second is my month inside a group of people who drink their own piss.

Speaker 109 I mean, we're going to do the other one.

Speaker 68 We're going to do the other one next week, so just pick.

Speaker 41 Oh, wait, big cat? Yeah. Jose Conseco tweeted at JLo, if you want the truth about Alex Rodriguez, call me and gave his phone number.

Speaker 83 Do we want to call him?

Speaker 95 Yeah, call him. Let's give him a call.
This guy.

Speaker 7 He's probably, everyone's calling him right now.

Speaker 127 Yeah.

Speaker 59 Do

Speaker 91 star 69 so he can't call you back.

Speaker 66 In honor of Mr.

Speaker 40 Kraft, I think we should do the masturbation cult.

Speaker 22 Wait, where's this tweet?

Speaker 43 Hold on, let's call it.

Speaker 40 Well, it was a direct at to J-Lo so it doesn't pop up.

Speaker 89 Yeah, it's very quick.

Speaker 28 I'm calling right now.

Speaker 40 Fuck this guy.

Speaker 41 Okay, let's see. Star 69.
Does Star 69 still work? Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 56 Welcome to Verizon Wireless. Your call can now be completed this time.

Speaker 41 Yeah, it's a fake.

Speaker 44 Damn it, it's a fake.

Speaker 100 He got me.

Speaker 132 It's a good thing you blocked your number.

Speaker 65 Otherwise, that would have been very bad.

Speaker 11 All right, so we're going to do, what did you say, Hank?

Speaker 115 Masturbation Club.

Speaker 133 Okay.

Speaker 2 Why straight men are joining masturbation clubs?

Speaker 119 All right, so it starts.

Speaker 44 Citation needed.

Speaker 13 It's long, so we're going to skip around here.

Speaker 22 When Brandon was in his early 20s and studying abroad, he went on a trip to Israel with his friends to hike in the Judean caves.

Speaker 68 At a certain point, they reached a part of the cave that was pitch black.

Speaker 33 It didn't take long for someone to suggest we all jerk off in the darkness.

Speaker 22 Brandon, now 35, says, and so we did.

Speaker 83 Isn't that skull and bones?

Speaker 41 Isn't that like the initiation?

Speaker 45 Yeah, you now can be a president of the United States.

Speaker 41 Yeah, it's fun to imagine that John Kerry and George Bush probably jerked off in the same room at the same time.

Speaker 29 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 167 100% did.

Speaker 34 After they finished, they zipped themselves up and proceeded to continue meandering through the caves as if nothing happened.

Speaker 64 They never spoke of it again.

Speaker 68 Brandon self-identifies as straight.

Speaker 37 That's a great use of words there. Self-identifies.
So other people might not identify.

Speaker 119 You got to make sure you cover all your bases when using tags like that.

Speaker 7 He had never masturbated in front of another man, let alone a group of other men, before in his life.

Speaker 119 Yet he says in retrospect, the weirdest thing about the incident was how not weird it seemed at the time.

Speaker 41 Yeah, it's kind of strange how that thought just came to him, where he was like,

Speaker 41 obviously, let's jerk off in this cave together.

Speaker 37 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 90 So essentially, they explain, like, there's a whole history behind it.

Speaker 2 We know it's,

Speaker 29 this is a doctor who wrote a book.

Speaker 37 He says, we know it's common for teenage boys to masturbate together or to instruct one another in how to do it, says Dr.

Speaker 119 Jane Ward, author of the 2015 Not Gay, Sex Between Straight White Men.

Speaker 55 What a book.

Speaker 55 What a book.

Speaker 138 The title is called Not Gay.

Speaker 18 The title is Not Gay, Sex Between Straight White Men.

Speaker 83 No homo.

Speaker 41 Let's jerk off in this cave together.

Speaker 149 Shout out to Roy Hibbert.

Speaker 119 And she coined the viral term bro jobs to describe straight men having sex with each other.

Speaker 144 Okay.

Speaker 37 Ward cites a 1981 report on male sexuality by sex.

Speaker 22 See, this is like when they go into like

Speaker 22 doctors talking about male sexuality sexologists, share height, which suggested that nearly 20% of men had engaged in group masturbation during adolescence.

Speaker 37 Well, here's the deal.

Speaker 73 Yeah, that's called pledging, dude.

Speaker 73 Guys are just horny. I don't think it necessarily means anything.

Speaker 41 I think it's just sometimes guys

Speaker 28 we got nut.

Speaker 72 Yeah,

Speaker 73 if that's in a cave, so be it.

Speaker 44 I'll make a stalactite out of my sperm.

Speaker 70 Okay, so here we're going, we're jumping ahead here.

Speaker 22 In Seattle, for instance, there's the Rain City Jacks, a

Speaker 119 jack-off club for men who wish to, per the website, jack off openly and safely in a uniquely sex-positive, non-discriminating, and mutually respectful community.

Speaker 100 Hey, we're sex-positive.

Speaker 44 Do you think they have jackets?

Speaker 41 This feels like a leather jacket club, like a motorcycle gang, where you've got the patch on the back, the Rain City Jacks.

Speaker 22 Every Sunday and Tuesday, the Rain City Jacks meet in an erotic art gallery in Seattle.

Speaker 119 The furniture is covered in canvas.

Speaker 41 I feel like you'd want plastic.

Speaker 73 Yeah, you want to make that look like a kill room in Dexter.

Speaker 119 Okay, and volunteers hand out small plastic cups of lube to guests.

Speaker 55 Oh,

Speaker 34 please note, they try to be environmentally responsible.

Speaker 77 People want their own clean lube.

Speaker 55 So, and then.

Speaker 41 Yeah, no, the big question is, are the cups, are they recyclable?

Speaker 37 It's an important question.

Speaker 33 The lights are dimmed slightly, and soft music plays while the men gather either alone or in small clusters and proceed to jerk off, all the while keeping conversation to a minimum to ensure everyone stays in the moment.

Speaker 183 Should we go do this for for Barcelon Gold?

Speaker 41 Yeah, this is the cult that we're going to join.

Speaker 80 This is... I didn't know this was a thing, but it seems like

Speaker 80 it is.

Speaker 184 It seems like this is definitely a thing that people are doing.

Speaker 41 Now, how many people did it say are in the Rain City Jacks?

Speaker 37 I didn't give an exact number.

Speaker 62 Okay, I'm going to look up.

Speaker 41 I'm going incognito mode, looking up Rain City Jacks just to see if this is a real thing or something that somebody made up as a prank.

Speaker 119 In recent years, Jack-Off clubs have catered to an increasingly diverse, younger, and more sexually open clientele. The younger the guys are, the more open they are, are, says Steve.

Speaker 19 The younger generation is so comfortable with gay people, they'll play with another guy even though they prefer women.

Speaker 41 Okay, I should not have gone to this website.

Speaker 103 Yeah, that was a bad Google search.

Speaker 41 I was just making sure it was real.

Speaker 51 So essentially, there's just like this is kind of like the

Speaker 98 jerk-off

Speaker 151 crystals that Danica Patrick told us about.

Speaker 55 Yeah, she's really into that.

Speaker 78 Listen,

Speaker 41 I don't want to not see anybody's hobby because I'm sure some of the things, I'm sure watching football every Sunday,

Speaker 154 we basically are in a jack-off club without jack off

Speaker 41 we jack off our brains and eyes right to playing fantasy football fantasy football is a jack off club you're absolutely right it's just fantasy football players don't have the balls to just reach down and crank it in front of their bros this is uh yeah i mean this is listen if you want to if you want to be in a jackoff club everyone just wants to be a part of something that's just human nature right do you think they shake hands after they're all done i feel like the secret handshake has to happen no before yeah i think it's this the handshake goes on throughout.

Speaker 41 This is a handshake club. The secret handshake is just jerking yourself.
That's the secret handshake.

Speaker 54 It's just a handshake club, but you're just handshaking dicks.

Speaker 37 Yeah, your own that's how you get it.

Speaker 44 That's how you can internalize it if you prefer women over men.

Speaker 40 Right.

Speaker 41 It's essentially like a frat, as you said, but the secret handshake is just cranking yourself off to completion.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 91 On its surface, the idea that a man might masturbate in front of other men as an assertion of heterosexuality might sound strange, but in truth, Ward points out, there's not much of a distinction between the communal experience of a jackoff club and, say, going to a strip club and getting a lap dance at the same time as your friend.

Speaker 55 Actually,

Speaker 22 not a terrible point, or having sex in the same room as your male roommate during college.

Speaker 20 Okay?

Speaker 192 That's a threesome, right?

Speaker 119 Yes, presumably there are women present in those scenarios, but the result, communal arousal, is the same.

Speaker 34 While both of those experiences are not uncommon for men in their teens and 20s, they're

Speaker 32 staunchly homoerotic nonetheless.

Speaker 87 And it's also worth noting that there isn't quite an equivalent for young women.

Speaker 19 The norms of collective arousal for men are very different than they are for women.

Speaker 37 Ward says it's just common for men's sexuality to express itself in a public way. Just guys being dudes.

Speaker 119 That was essentially what she just explained.

Speaker 73 The guys love to be dudes. It's just kid stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 22 He just needs a release. That's fine.

Speaker 41 How long do you think these meetings last? Because I would imagine that if it's just a bunch of horny dudes, it's probably in and out in five to ten minutes.

Speaker 2 Do you think there's anyone in the club who are like, yeah, that guy, like, he leaves way too quick?

Speaker 11 Yeah. You know what I mean? Probably.

Speaker 41 Probably. Like, just embarrasses himself.

Speaker 144 Rick. Yeah, Rick.

Speaker 65 That was off the top of my head.

Speaker 61 That'd be a tough look for Rick. Yeah.

Speaker 41 Do you think these parties are catered?

Speaker 46 I would assume so.

Speaker 73 There's got to be an open bar, right?

Speaker 72 Yeah.

Speaker 41 You can't just go in and start cranking off sober.

Speaker 113 Like when you say caters, you think open bar.

Speaker 7 I was like thinking of like, you know, like little sandwich food and like you're thinking of corn dog bites or

Speaker 110 pigs in a blanket.

Speaker 44 Pigs in a blanket.

Speaker 109 Just goes along with a jerk off.

Speaker 73 Pigs in a blanket dipped in aole.

Speaker 98 That works for me.

Speaker 119 So yeah, this is a new trend.

Speaker 37 Again, sex positive.

Speaker 72 I didn't think this was was something we'd be reading, but Hank wanted to read it, so we've done it.

Speaker 44 Good job, good job, Hank.

Speaker 29 Yeah, uh, all right, that's our show.

Speaker 119 Hank, are you gonna stick around this week?

Speaker 55 Yeah, all right, it's good to have you back, Hank.

Speaker 103 It's great to see you on the show, thanks, and I'm very excited for LeBron Lockwood and what's gonna come back.

Speaker 153 Love you guys.

Speaker 56 I took a pill in the door.

Speaker 161 I'll be coming coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 161 Shine away.

Speaker 161 Oh, I'll be coming for your love. You don't wanna be

Speaker 137 like me.

Speaker 137 Never let nobody like me.

Speaker 137 You don't make me stay like that.

Speaker 137 You wanna make us like this. Never make you just like this.

Speaker 137 You don't wanna be stuck up on that station.

Speaker 137 Stuck up on that station.

Speaker 137 Just needless to say

Speaker 137 I'd say it's far be it storm a little way

Speaker 137 Slowly learning that life

Speaker 137 Say after me

Speaker 137 It's no better to be safe than sorry Say after me

Speaker 137 It's no better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 137 You don't have a moon

Speaker 137 You don't want to dance

Speaker 137 Never go for the chance of course You don't wanna be strong

Speaker 137 Swap up on my store

Speaker 137 Single and