NFL Week 16 Fastest 2 Minutes And Recap, The Cowboys Died And Jameis Thrived

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, week 16. That's actually scary to say out loud.
Week 16. That is, it's week 16, folks.
Yeah. Fantasy season's over.
It's unless you're one of those fucking weirdos.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You are.

Speaker 1 We'll talk

Speaker 1 about it.

Speaker 1 Hank, bring that up on the other side of the regular show, how stupid people are who do week 17. That would be my who's back week.
All right. We have week 16.
We're going to recap every game.

Speaker 1 It's Saturday football, great Saturday football. Sunday football,

Speaker 1 madness. Some of the best games were some of the worst games.
Some of the worst games were some of the best games. It was back and forth.

Speaker 4 When cool, creamy creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 2 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the song

Speaker 1 Look at the handle, love washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. It's part of my take present.

Speaker 2 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 1 Remember, it is Bad Beats Monday. Use the hashtag BadBeats Monday and tweet your cash tag to at part of my take and at cash app, and they will hook up some of you out there who've had bad beats.

Speaker 1 Today is Monday, December 23rd, week 6.

Speaker 1 Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Speaker 1 End of the season here, Teach.

Speaker 2 It's been a great one, Boom.

Speaker 1 We start in a battle for the AFC East, where Sean McDermott the Frog and the Buffalo Bills have been sipping tea all season long, looking for respect.

Speaker 1 Tom Braby Yoda hooked up with Julian Edelmeem as the Patriots did the 10-year challenge, winning the AFC East every single year from 2009 to 2019.

Speaker 1 In a tribute to the return of Jackass, Johnny Dawson, Knoxville, kept the game close at the end of the first half, only to have the Bills wagon look more like a shopping cart crash into a building to end the game.

Speaker 1 Patriots 24, Bills 17.

Speaker 1 Out at the big bell bottom where George Kittler on the roof was playing matchmaker, then he's a much better fit with Jimmy Garoppolo than Chiara Mia.

Speaker 1 The game came down to a big catch from Emmanuel Bernie Sanders who is robbing gold from the rich and redistributing it to the poor as a kicker hit the game winner and Errol Donald Trump and the Rams season is fired.

Speaker 2 Foyed.

Speaker 1 49 or 34. The Rams 31.
In Cleveland where Freddie got fingered, Kitchen said, My bum is on the playbook. My bum is on the playbook.
Look at me. My bum is on the playbook.

Speaker 1 After a slow start to the game, the Ravens offense, featuring Marky Mark Ingram, took it to the Browns. Head body, head body, all afternoon.

Speaker 1 Posh Spice, aka Victoria Odell Beckham, wants out of the band as the 2019 Browns turned out to be wannabes yet again. Ravens 31, Browns 15.
If you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends.

Speaker 1 I want to, I want to, I want to make it. I want to really, really, really want to say that.
Championships never end.

Speaker 1 Up to the meadowlands where Mason Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had some very shitty throws. And if you ever saw him, you would even say he blows.

Speaker 1 Leon Jingle Bells was laughing all the way to a revenge win over his former team while James Connor McGregor got mad as the Jets kept taking shots at Jamieson Irish Whiskey Crowder instead of proper proper 12 and Scrooge McDuck Hodges never did like this time of year at the Steelers may be getting coal in their walking boots once again come week 17.

Speaker 1 Jet 16 the Steelers 10

Speaker 1 in our nation's capital where Adrian all business Peterson isn't going to be winning Father of the Year anytime soon but did end up fourth all-time in the running back touchdown list.

Speaker 1 Raekwon Barkley emptied all 36 chambers accounting for two touchdowns and propelling the G-Men to a win, angering old dirty bastard Archie Manning.

Speaker 1 It's almost the offseason in D.C., which means Terry McLaurin, Conrad, and the Redskins are ready for drama with hirings and firings near the Capitol Hills. Giants, 41, Redskins, 35.

Speaker 1 The New York Football TikToks. In the Music City, where the Saints quarterback tandem channeled their inner Drew Hill as Breeze and Tasim asked, how deep is your love?

Speaker 1 Michael Thomas should enter witness protection as he won't be getting his car washed anytime soon, passing Marvin Harrison's all-time season receptions record.

Speaker 1 It all comes down to one last stand in week 17 for saving private Ryan Tannehill and the ragtag Titans. Saints, 38, go marching.
Titans, 28.

Speaker 1 Standing on the corner Jimmy's Winston Temple, Florida. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 1 It's a pick, my lord,

Speaker 1 it's a pick, my lord.

Speaker 2 It's a pick and a pick that's for INT's

Speaker 1 Jameis Winston.

Speaker 1 It's never ending,

Speaker 1 and after this season, you're getting

Speaker 1 an extension

Speaker 1 Bucks 23. No, Texans 23.
Bucks 20.

Speaker 1 In Philadelphia, where is only a wince? It was only a went. Open up your eagle eyes because I mister a thing on whiteside.

Speaker 1 Randall, do your cobb, and the cowboys didn't do enough advanced scouting as Dallas came out flat in a must-win game.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones won't be experiencing any glory tonight as all the holes were eaten by Chris Christie Cream in the owner's box.

Speaker 1 But that won't stop him from grabbing a breast and a thigh in a touching tribute to Miles Colonel Sanders, Eagles 17, Cowboys 9.

Speaker 1 We finish in the Pacific Northwest where George Brett Hundley didn't shit himself in the relief of Kyler Murray.

Speaker 1 Kenyon, all gas, no drinks, had a huge game on the ground, and Mayor Pete Carroll is going to have to retreat to his wine cave to deal with this loss.

Speaker 1 Chandler Bing Jones was no friend to Ross Giller Wilson as no no one told him life was going to be this way. Sex, X, X, Zach.
Cardinals 27. Seahawks 13.

Speaker 1 All right. Week 16.
We have one more game, Monday Night Football. The last Monday Night Football game of the year, but we had week 16.
Go ahead, Hank. What was the butthole Freddie Kitchens thing?

Speaker 1 My bum is on the playbook. Tom Green? Ah.
Freddie got third kitchens.

Speaker 2 Daddy, would you like some something?

Speaker 1 Damn, you don't know Tom Green, the genius of Tom Green.

Speaker 2 I don't fuck. Tom Green revolutionized comedy as we know it by just getting kicked out of places.
And that was basically what he did.

Speaker 1 Making like lesbian statues and putting it in front of his parents' lawn.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. He would make statues of his parents having sex with each other.

Speaker 1 He was the original. I'm going to know Tom Green exclusively from Eminem Songs.
Oh, yeah. He was the original.
I'm going to fuck with my parents and film it. And that will be hilarious.

Speaker 1 And it was hilarious. It was great.

Speaker 2 He was a Canadian Bam Margero. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So week 16 in the books, except for Monday Night Football coming up.

Speaker 1 So I guess we have to start with the last game like we always do.

Speaker 5 That was torture.

Speaker 2 The Chiefs and the Bears. They showed about 800 comparisons of Patrick Mahomes and Mitchell Trubisky.

Speaker 1 That was torture. They showed a million comparisons.
The Bears were absolutely terrible. Mitch Trubisky was terrible.
He did outrush Patrick Mahomes. Put that on the record.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes was awesome as always and just effortlessly amazing.

Speaker 1 They had a double doink, which I don't know why, but the booth just had it ready on command, the replay of the actual double doink. So they played that.

Speaker 1 And then to top it all off, in a game that the Bears came out completely flat, gave up, ready to go to Cabo and hang out and have the offseason, Mitch Trubisky checked down on a fourth and 23.

Speaker 1 Fourth and 23.

Speaker 2 That's my issue with Mitchell Trubisky, is that a lot of times he's not even fun bad. He's just kind of boring bad.
And he'll air it out.

Speaker 2 The worst thing that Mitchell did tonight was, yeah, the check down, and then he would overthrow his receivers by like three and a half yards.

Speaker 2 If you're going to be bad, at least make it entertaining for me.

Speaker 1 Oh, I forgot one thing as well. Chris Collinsworth was like, you know, when I was watching the tape, this guy, Mitch Trubisky, he kind of looks like Patrick Mahomes sometimes.

Speaker 1 And then he did a highlight package where he's like, see, they're basically the same guy.

Speaker 2 Well, he said, if you take all of Mitch's best throws that he's ever made,

Speaker 2 he kind of looks like Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 So I was dreading this. This is why I was so upset that it wasn't flexed out.
We had the signs and everyone, you know, could have, there was some woman sitting there like, could have had Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Thanks. Didn't need the reminder.
There was a Bears fan, which I actually find funny. I'm sure some people will hate it, who was wearing a Bears Mahomes jersey.

Speaker 1 I think that's just like, you know, fuck it. Let's just, we already know we suck, and we know this is painful to watch.
Just lean all the way into it and buy a Bears Mahomes jersey.

Speaker 2 A Bears Mahomes Watson combo jersey

Speaker 2 would be great. Yeah.
Who cares? There was also a guy wearing full bear regalia dressed up

Speaker 2 like a bear, but he also had Christmas lights. So he was like a very festive bear, which was nice.
So the game sucks.

Speaker 2 Want to give a shout out to Collinsworth for wearing, he was dressed up in like a some sort of high turtleneck tonight, looking like a creepy college professor.

Speaker 2 When did that become when did we decide as a society that we were going to allow our tandem booths to not wear a suit and a tie in primetime games?

Speaker 1 It was Troy Aikman. And also the turtleneck has made a huge comeback.
I think that's,

Speaker 1 I'm going to give him this. Steve Jobs.
No, I'm going to give him this moment, and he's probably going to cut this up and tweet it and do a victory lap on Twitter.

Speaker 1 But Danny Cannell was wearing a turtleneck, you know, provocateur

Speaker 1 when he was with the SPN, but I've seen it more and more often recently. I think Deion had one on Saturday night.

Speaker 1 It's a look that's hard to pull off when you're not joking, but few people can, and Deion did. I don't know if Collinsworth did.

Speaker 2 It's the non-circumcised sweater that's making the comeback.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 Michael Irvin was wearing some sort of swaggy combo too on Sunday.

Speaker 1 I think you have to have a certain amount of swag or be completely joking about it. Yeah.
One or the other. Otherwise, you're just kind of stuck in that no man's like, is this guy fucking serious?

Speaker 2 Or you have to have like a fraudulent Silicon Valley company. Yeah.
And then you can pull. Elizabeth Holmes can absolutely pull it off.

Speaker 1 But when you wear a turtleneck and you walk in, like, people will look at you. Actually, I guess December is the only month where it can really play.

Speaker 1 But for the most, most time, like if you walk into a room with a turtleneck and you're not joking, everyone will look at you and be like, is this guy for real? He's kind of an asshole.

Speaker 1 You have asshole vibes when you wear a turtleneck, unironically.

Speaker 2 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2 On the game itself, it sucks. One thing that we're not talking that much about laugh it up, Hank.

Speaker 2 It's the Chiefs' defense is really, really good this season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's playing a lot better.

Speaker 2 I think just having Tyrann Matthew on your defense gives it kind of a little bit of legitimacy. It doesn't matter how bad the rest of your defense is.

Speaker 2 If I see that Tyran's on your team, I'm like, you guys can turn the ball over. You guys can score points.

Speaker 1 And they have pass rushers. They have bite to them that they didn't have last year.
I still don't trust them in like a big, they're not going to go and just stop another team for four quarters.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, this is the Bears offense, mind you. Right, true.
Lead the league in punts and all other terrible categories that you can come up with.

Speaker 2 A punt's not a bad thing, though.

Speaker 1 But you are right that the Chiefs' defense has bite this year where last year they didn't.

Speaker 1 I mean, you remember the AFC Championship game where the Patriots just basically ran the same play to Julian Edelman over the middle, and it worked every single time.

Speaker 1 This year, it doesn't feel like you can do exactly that. I still,

Speaker 1 and we're going to get to the Patriots being the Bills, the fact that the Chiefs don't get the bye, it's so fucking hard to win three games. It's going to be so...
When was the last time a team won

Speaker 1 a wild card team, a team that played on wild card weekend? I can't remember. Was it the Ravens?

Speaker 1 Maybe. Who just got to the Super Bowl? Did the Eagles? The Eagles? No.
The Eagles when they went to the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. Dennis said, they didn't have a buy, did they? They played.

Speaker 2 They played the Vikings?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they played the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I can't remember if they had a buy or not.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to make a prediction right now. Stat check it.
Steve Spagnulo or Spagnola. How do you pronounce his last name? Spagula?

Speaker 1 Spagnula?

Speaker 2 Spagnoodle. He's going to get, he's going to be interviewed by a lot of teams this offseason as a head coach.
It's been enough time.

Speaker 2 And yeah, it's been enough time where people forgot that he's not a good head coach. No, there's nothing.

Speaker 2 And he's going to end up going to one of the teams that is like a Redskins, a team that nobody really wants to coach. So they're going to have to settle for the third or fourth choice.

Speaker 2 I think he's actually going to be a head coach next week.

Speaker 1 Here's what he's got going for him. He was coaching the St.
Louis Rams.

Speaker 1 They don't exist anymore.

Speaker 1 So it really feels like it was a way, way long ago thing.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 if you had a team that he coached still playing in the same stadium in the same city, you'd be like, oh, I can see that. I can't even see it.

Speaker 1 You can't even see it.

Speaker 2 He's like Jim Schwartz, except he doesn't have the nipples Schwartz has, but he's got more triangular pectoral. He's got triangular boobs.
He looks good in a polo shirt, is what I'm getting at.

Speaker 2 He looks like he could still kick somebody's ass. So there will be an owner out there that thinks that he's youthful enough to come in and be a head coach for a franchise.
Yes.

Speaker 1 The Eagles did have a buy in 2017. The last team to do it was the 2012 Baltimore Ravens.
So there you go. So that's a very long time, it feels.

Speaker 2 You need an elite quarterback to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 It's very hard to win three games. So I just don't, as much as I think the Chiefs have been the forgotten team,

Speaker 1 because the story's been the Ravens and talking about the Patriots because everyone always talks about the Patriots.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs are a little forgotten, but man, winning three games, eesh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's going to be tough.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I agree. I think they are forgotten.
I think that the Chiefs are better when they're not the focus, when they're kind of like under the radar a little bit.

Speaker 2 As good as they are, it's strange that they're under the radar.

Speaker 1 Well, they've been under the radar except for last year because Patrick Mahomes brought them over the radar. Right.
Above the radar. Right.
Andy. Through the radar.

Speaker 2 Andy Reid. This was actually a perfect day for Andy Reed.
It was the shortest day of the year, the shortest football day of the year. Yep.
So there's less clock for him to mismanage supermetrically.

Speaker 2 Andy is coaching really, really well recently. Do you think anybody started Matt Moore on their fantasy team and lost because he got negative two points or negative 0.2 points

Speaker 2 on the kneel-down at the end of the game?

Speaker 1 Definitely not. Definitely did not.

Speaker 2 No. If you're out there and you started Matt Moore, you don't exist.

Speaker 1 You're lying. Bad beats Moore.
You're lying. Send us your best Photoshop if you started Matt Moore on your fantasy team.
All right, let's do the Saturday game so we'll work back in time.

Speaker 2 Texans, boner Saturday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Texans, Bucs,

Speaker 1 Jameis. I thought next weekend was boner Sunday.
You can't just do boners on

Speaker 1 the second.

Speaker 2 I said this was boner Saturday.

Speaker 1 But then you tweeted next weekend's boner Sunday.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I said last week that this was boner Saturday because of the matchups.

Speaker 1 But then what's next week?

Speaker 2 Erection Sunday. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't throw boners on it. We can't.
I mean, not all of us.

Speaker 2 It's semi-Sunday.

Speaker 1 We're not fucking teenagers, dude.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 2 Morning Woods. We're in our 30s.
Morning Woods.

Speaker 1 Mid-30s. Texans Bucks.

Speaker 1 It was a boner Saturday. It was.
It was. Jameis.

Speaker 1 Ah, man, he is so awesome. He had a pick six before anyone even sat down.

Speaker 1 Literally, before anyone sat down. I turned the TV on a seven off.
It was so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 let's at least say this. So he has now tied the record for most pick

Speaker 1 sixes in a season with six. Who do you think he's tied with?

Speaker 2 Vinny Testa Verdi.

Speaker 1 Nope, Peyton Manning, Hall of Famer. There we go.
So there we go. Even when he fucks up, he's still in conversation with Hall of Famers.

Speaker 1 Four interceptions. It was awesome.
Credit to Jameis 1 of 1, who predicted this to to a T.

Speaker 1 He was like, without Mike Evans and Godwin, Jameis will not care and will be throwing it up for a lot of interceptions, a lot of yards. And that's exactly what happened.

Speaker 2 I also like how Bill O'Brien enjoys Jameis Winston just as much as all of us do because he kept fucking up the clock management at the end of the game to give Jameis opportunities to throw more picks.

Speaker 2 It was like Bill O'Brien was calling for an encore at the end of a tremendous musical performance by Jameis.

Speaker 1 I want Jameis Winston to be all-time quarterback next Thanksgiving for all three games. Yes.
So just fly him.

Speaker 1 Maybe we have to space him out a little bit more, but fly him from stadium to stadium and let us watch Jameis Winston play quarterback for whatever it would be,

Speaker 1 12 hours on Thanksgiving Day because he is that entertaining. And he still ended up with like

Speaker 1 over 300 yards. He still makes big plays to get them back in it.
I actually feel like as much as the obviously the Texans won this game, they lost.

Speaker 1 You got five turnovers, four interceptions, and you only could win by three.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, the Bucs were up 17, 17 at halftime. Yes.
After that first half, they were dominating 17, 17. They were.
It was a blowout 17, 17.

Speaker 1 Here's something crazy. The Texans have now won four out of the last five AFC South titles.

Speaker 2 That doesn't really feel like that's true. No.

Speaker 1 Because they just take that and they do diddly poo.

Speaker 2 It's a dynasty. The Texans technically have a dynasty over the AFC South.

Speaker 1 To quote Jim Moore, it's diddly It's diddly-poo.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 1 And do you think the Texans have any ability to win more than one playoff game this year?

Speaker 2 I wouldn't say one's pushing it.

Speaker 1 One is pushing it. That's how toothless I feel like they are.

Speaker 1 Even though Deshaun's awesome.

Speaker 2 JJ might be coming back, though. They are keeping that spot open.
JJ is very active on Twitter recently, too. Have you noticed that? Yes.
Yeah, I think Mike Mason.

Speaker 2 The pain meds make it.

Speaker 1 He's ready to go.

Speaker 2 Jameis was almost the leading passer for both teams. Yep.
So he threw that pick six. And then the second one.
It was so close. That should have been a pick six.
It should have been.

Speaker 2 Just give it to him.

Speaker 2 He moves fast and he breaks stuff. Yes.
And that's what you have to love about Jameis Winston.

Speaker 1 He had a broken thumb.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's got a broken thumb.

Speaker 2 So I read that he wasn't able to shake the commentators' hands before the game or during their sit-down session that they had on Thursday or whatever, the production meeting.

Speaker 2 Jameis wasn't able to give them a firm handshake. Yeah.
So right off the start, I knew that.

Speaker 1 So is that why Rich Eisen kept on screwing up the Nick?

Speaker 2 That's why I kept calling him Watson.

Speaker 1 Now, credit to Rich Eisen for at least acknowledging it at halftime because, oh man, he did that like a dozen times in the first half. The Winston Watson thing.
And then

Speaker 1 the one difficult part for him, and it would have been difficult for anyone, the fact that there was a Watson that Winston was throwing to. Yeah.
That got very confusing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, this was a big week for very obscure tight ends catching passes just around the league.

Speaker 2 If you look across the board, there's so many players that I had no idea even existed until week 16 that are stepping up after injuries.

Speaker 1 The Bucs were starting like, I think they had three players yesterday that had never played in the NFL. They just threw them out there.
And so, again, even though they lost, they kind of won.

Speaker 1 Like, the Texans are such a joke sometimes where they'll beat good teams and they'll have these statement wins, and then they'll barely be able to beat a Bucs team that was essentially trying to lose with the way that Jameis Winston was playing.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we didn't even mention the fact that Jameis Winston before the game got a vote of confidence and is going to get a contract extension, which I'm actually,

Speaker 1 and I will never say this to Stephen Chase's face, I'm jealous of Bucks fans because Jameis Winston's that much fun.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he is extremely fun to watch. And they say that money makes you more of what you were before you got the money.

Speaker 2 So Jameis is going to get an extension and then he's going to throw eight interceptions again. Yes, yes.
Because he's going to splurge. He's going to treat himself.

Speaker 2 He is this year 4-2 in his games where he throws game opening interceptions. It's great.

Speaker 1 It's great. He's great.

Speaker 1 Six games.

Speaker 2 You know what? He's on the first drive. He's throwing interceptions.

Speaker 1 He's like when

Speaker 1 maybe you start a new gambling week and you're like, listen, I'm good. I got all this credit.
I'm good to go. I'm just going to fucking fire on everything.
That's how he starts every game.

Speaker 1 He's like, we got 60 minutes. If I throw a pick to start the game, it's fine.
I got 59 more. Yesterday, literally like 59.30 left to fix that.
So I kind of like how he lives fast and loose.

Speaker 1 That's very relatable. It's like when you have on payday, you're going to spend frivolously.
That's what Jameis Winston does to start every game.

Speaker 2 He passes frivolously.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's just like, oh, fuck, a new pair of Jordans? Hell yeah. Throws it right to the linebacker.

Speaker 2 I'll worry about saving after we're in like minute 57.

Speaker 1 He doesn't care. The only other thing I wanted to note from this game:

Speaker 1 I wish that Will Fuller played for like the Philadelphia Eagles or like the New York Giants because the sports radio calls about his constant injuries would be incredible.

Speaker 1 He is injured every single game, and it's always a hamstring or a groin,

Speaker 2 soft tissue.

Speaker 1 But I need like a 450-pound Philadelphian calling into Big Ant and saying, you know, I

Speaker 1 listen, Will Fuller, I did yoga last, my wife took me to this hot yoga place, and I've been fine ever since. Why the fuck doesn't he do that? Like, I need those type of calls in my life.

Speaker 1 Will Fuller is just always injured, and I think Houston fans, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe someone can clue me in, but I need Houston fans to show their anger a little more.

Speaker 2 Are they a little bit soft? Is that what you're saying? Soft tissue. Soft tissue, yeah.
I mean, the Texans just overall have a bad history of bad injury luck.

Speaker 2 And I haven't heard much on a national scale about. Usually you start to drum up something about like, you need to fire the entire training staff.
Right.

Speaker 1 That whole thing. Brian Cushing's on the training staff.

Speaker 2 Oh, there you go.

Speaker 1 Andre Johnson, every time I see him on the sideline, I'm like, when is he getting in?

Speaker 2 Well, he was also a hamster. I don't know why he isn't in.
This goes back to Aaron Foster.

Speaker 2 Now, when Aaron Foster was on the team, you definitely had people because he was owned across, like, he was a big fantasy player. Right.
You had a lot of takes nationwide about, like, oh,

Speaker 2 he's a vegan. That's why he keeps pulling his hamstrings.

Speaker 1 It is crazy, though, how different their offense is when Will Fuller's healthy. And now

Speaker 1 you won the AFC South. You have nothing to play for next week.
So you might as well just shut everyone down. Like, this is going to be an interesting...

Speaker 1 Do they, like, I guess, I don't know if they can't see the Titans again if they lose to the Titans and the Titans get in, but do you play anyone? Why would you?

Speaker 2 I think Bill O'Brien will play everyone. It's so stupid.

Speaker 6 Because he's a dummy. He'll get Deshaun Watson.
He's a big dummy.

Speaker 1 All right. Next game, Bills Patriots.
Hank, credit to you for never fully taking out the panic button.

Speaker 1 Because if you are a Patriots fan, this game was reassuring in the fact that it's like the Patriots offense now is what you expect it to have become, and it's run the ball.

Speaker 1 And Tom Brady, like, that was a classic Tom Brady performance. You could tell when Tom Brady, you can tell a few times a year, he has that extra fired-up look to him.

Speaker 1 You could tell almost right away he was running the ball. He looked more fired up.
He tried to juke someone with his shoulders and got smoked.

Speaker 2 Oh, he threw one of the blocks of the year.

Speaker 2 He became an honorary fullback. Do you think that's because he was upset that he wasn't voted to the Pro Bowl? So he was trying to make it as a fullback now? He was

Speaker 1 a low-man vote next year. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, it was a good block. It was a shockingly good block by Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 That was locked in Tom Brady, and he was very, very good. And I have a stat for you, Hank.
Please. Sony Michelle, when he goes over 60 yards, the Patriots are 17-0.

Speaker 1 Wow. Interesting.
That's pretty interesting stats.

Speaker 2 That's very supercomputer math equations that Bill Belichick won't listen to, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he clearly, if the Patriots can run the ball, they're a completely different team, and everything works together. Even though

Speaker 1 the Bills were in this game, were, they were. Josh Allen's balling.
Josh is balling.

Speaker 2 You talk about Tom Brady having a little extra fire in his arms. Josh Allen had that for sure, especially in the first half.

Speaker 2 Josh Allen had about five plays that just made me wiggle, like get amped up watching this game. It's like these two teams actually don't like each other very much.
Yeah. And you can see that.

Speaker 2 And it's kind of cool to see the Patriots get involved in a divisional rivalry in a division that's been so weak that they haven't really had to worry about that for the last, what, 15 years?

Speaker 1 It was kind of similar to the Bucs game where it was like the Bills tied it up right at the halftime. Even the Patriots completely dominated it.

Speaker 1 I was a little worried going into half where I was like, I felt like we just completely dominated, did exactly what we wanted to do, but going into halftime tied up.

Speaker 1 Who knew what was going to happen?

Speaker 1 And the Bills,

Speaker 1 they're for real. They're going to obviously be in the playoffs.
I do think there's an element of emotional, not emotional letdown, but they've played a lot of big games.

Speaker 1 We've joked about it, how every big win the Bills have had have been the biggest win in the last decade. But they, you know, the big win on Thanksgiving, they hosted the Ravens.

Speaker 1 They won Sunday night football against the Steelers, which was a huge, huge win. First time in a decade, they were plus.
They were on Sunday night football.

Speaker 1 Then they have to go play for the AFC East in Foxborough. So I'm not,

Speaker 1 I feel like this is one of those games, if you're a Bills fan, you walk away and you're like, you know what?

Speaker 1 It sucks that they lost, but they went toe-to-toe. And, you know, you take them pretty much with anyone, although their rush defenses, you got the question mark there.

Speaker 2 Right, but on those same lines of it being a huge game for them and having they've played in so many of those big games, I actually think that playing on the road in Houston in the playoffs would not be as big.

Speaker 2 It's going to be sleepy. It wouldn't feel as big of a game as this last one was on Saturday.
And by the way, to the producers of Saturday football on the NFL network,

Speaker 2 please give me my Thursday Night Football Saturday edition graphic back.

Speaker 1 It was the... Wait, why was Taric?

Speaker 1 Why did Tarico get to call this game?

Speaker 2 Because Italian Mike does what Italian Mike wants. I was confused about it.

Speaker 2 He's got seven different types of fish he has to worry about turning off later on.

Speaker 1 I just assumed he, like, his contract was up and he moved to NFL Network. Is that like last week? Or I don't know.
Yeah, I don't, I was like, I thought that too.

Speaker 1 I was like, wait a second, Mike Tarico's with NFL Network. I was confused as well, but it is, that's, I guess, when you, when you're full baller status, when you're like, yeah, I want to do this game.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, and

Speaker 1 they have three crews, so they kind of pick and choose themselves. That's why we had Rich Eyes and Winston Watson.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I do like the goofy booth, though.

Speaker 1 They had like five people in that booth.

Speaker 1 Joe Thomas was good.

Speaker 2 I like the ones that they bring in that

Speaker 2 aren't used to calling games. Right.
Because you get a little bit of that, you know, the spiciness. You mix up the starting quarterback's name seven times.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't get that normally. It's different.

Speaker 1 Kurt Warner trying to say that it was a penalty and the other Torico trying to be like, well, no, like the NFL, like, actually, that's not like he was just trying to curb him off.

Speaker 1 Like, Kurt was taking the offensive side, and he was like, no, no, no. Well, Kurt, my partner disagrees with you, but this is actually the right call.

Speaker 1 It's like watching a porn where the two people, like the first time they've done it together, can't relate. Yeah, I don't watch porn.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I live Triana. Trump, no, no, don't know who that is.
I don't know who that is. This was also a big Julian Edelman game where he got his head knocked around and then got better afterwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's dead.

Speaker 2 He plays better when he's trying to convince when he's mad at the doctors on the sideline who keep trying to get him in a tent. He's like, No, just send me back out on the field.

Speaker 2 But he played really well. The offense does look better.

Speaker 1 It's still, I think, the

Speaker 1 it calms, I would say, right, Hank, like the panic button, you put it back

Speaker 1 underneath the tree out in the backyard, right? Yes, there was never concerns about the defense, but the offense was the big concern, and they looked great. They got Nikhil Harry more involved.

Speaker 1 Edelman looked great. So, yes.

Speaker 1 And more than anything, it's what we just talked about with the buy, with the Chiefs. Like, the buy is so, so life-changing when it comes to the playoffs.

Speaker 2 There's something different, too, about...

Speaker 1 And Lamar Jackson stunk last year against the Chargers, so who knows? That could happen again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. So I'm just saying, look at the, look, you know,

Speaker 1 you can only go by last year's playoffs, right? That's true.

Speaker 2 In Foxborough, when you exhale in December, it looks different on TV than when you exhale in like Kansas City or any other cold place. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 I'd say Lambo looks different.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Lambo does look different. I can definitely tell the difference between a Lambo breath and a Foxborough breath under the lights in primetime in

Speaker 2 December. And there's something intimidating about seeing the entire stands in Foxborough.
It looks like they're all vaping, just giant clouds coming out of there.

Speaker 1 All right, next up, we have Rams 49ers. By the way, if you want to watch us, we're on barstallgold.com/slash PMT.
BarstowGold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 1 So the Rams season is done. The Super Bowl hangover curse is back.
I feel like we haven't had that discussion in a couple years. So that is officially back.

Speaker 1 I mean, Jared Goff played well. He had that one mistake to pick six, but he was, I feel like the Rams had a really good game plan against a 49ers defense.

Speaker 1 49ers defense was unbelievable to start the season. Now they've played so many good teams, so they came back down to earth.

Speaker 1 But I'm also walking away from that game, even though the 49ers won, being like, do I feel really good about the 49ers? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know. The parts that I used to feel good about with the 49ers, I feel not as good.
And the parts that I used to feel bad about, I feel better.

Speaker 1 Well, Jimmy G,

Speaker 1 he was bad to start the game. He got the shit kicked out of him so toughness check yeah because he came back and was you know when they when they needed him he was there and greg kittle is still

Speaker 1 like if you're talking about guys that you trust in the fourth quarter greg kittle is i don't know top three yeah he's a walking bar fight i i love watching him play it's awesome uh his hair is pretty awesome too now he's got like a little bit of a a skullet going oh yeah he has like shaved on the side but it's long so he can do the flip he do like a wrestler flip hair That's really what he's going for.

Speaker 1 He wants to be a wrestler. Without a doubt.
He probably ought to. He's like boys with The Rock.
The six degrees of separation between us,

Speaker 1 Greg, and The Rock is not

Speaker 1 two degrees.

Speaker 1 One degree. Is that one degree?

Speaker 1 Greg's cool enough that he would just give us the Rocks number.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just Greg, just call us. Just text us the Rocks number.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That'd be fine by me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I

Speaker 1 get real, though. The 49ers, yeah, they come out.
And I feel like the Rams just picked them apart at times with

Speaker 1 the short passing. And it's like, I just don't know.
The NFC is so weird to me because every single week,

Speaker 1 and we'll get to the Seahawks being maybe the F-word,

Speaker 1 which we've talked about. But the 49ers, I can't make heads or tails of there's times where I watch them.
I'm like, this team is so, so good.

Speaker 1 And there's times where I watch them like, man, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 They play games, they lose to the Falcons,

Speaker 1 and the Rams offense, which has had up and down all year, is is able to pick them apart at times.

Speaker 1 It's a weird team.

Speaker 2 But you know what? They're able to win close games.

Speaker 1 There you go. That's what they're doing.
Well, except for when they lost the Falcons.

Speaker 2 Now they're able to win close games. And when they lost by

Speaker 2 the Stevens. Against the Falcons,

Speaker 2 I'm going to file that loss under it was good for the 49ers to lose that game. It was a wake-up show.
Sure.

Speaker 5 It was a wake-up call.

Speaker 2 You want to learn that you're mere mortals before you go into the playoffs. You want to get scared a little bit.
I think that was fine.

Speaker 2 This Sunday night game against the Seahawks is going to be awesome. Awesome.

Speaker 2 emmanuel sanders too credit to him yep i'm a little concerned about wade phillips because i he's getting fired i like wade oh he's getting fired i like wade a lot but he's doing the thing where he just says fuck it sometimes and he blitzes he just he likes to send the house even when it's third and long and he doesn't need to he's fired yeah no he is yeah but you know like when you're playing madden and uh you just say fuck it and you just hit a button because in like the the spur of the moment you feel aggressive yes that's what he does he's doing that a lot without thinking about it yeah he's the rams have some weird i was actually reading an article where the Rams, they're not,

Speaker 1 it's not like they're set on one path or the other here, but essentially the gist of it was nothing is off the table here, and even possibly trading Aaron Donald would be because they don't have picks.

Speaker 1 They don't have picks in the next two drafts.

Speaker 2 They've gone all in.

Speaker 1 They've gone all in.

Speaker 1 So now they might have to pay back some of that all in to get some draft capital and probably fire Wade Phillips. Yeah, Wade.
It'd be crazy if they did that, but they would also get a lot back for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 How much do you think you'd get for Aaron Donald right now? I'm hoping

Speaker 2 two first-rounders?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'd be a Khalil Mack type guy. Yeah, be a Khalil Mack.

Speaker 2 And honestly, he'd be worth it.

Speaker 1 Yes. He's good.
And if you have holes in other parts of your team that you need addressing, you might have to do it just to get some picks back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I still like the 49ers, though.

Speaker 1 I still like them. Oh, I like them.

Speaker 2 I'm not as concerned as you are because I think that the defense can still get after quarterback when they want to.

Speaker 2 The Rams were doing the thing where they rolled Jared out a lot, and you cut the field in half, but you give them a better pocket.

Speaker 1 I like them. I'm just saying when you watch them,

Speaker 1 their strength to start the season, and they have had a crazy, crazy murderer's row of teams they've played. They've played all the best teams, basically.

Speaker 1 They've played the Seahawks, the Packers, the Saints, and the Ravens in the last month and a half.

Speaker 1 I just know that

Speaker 1 you could do this for any team. You can really do it for any team except for the Ravens right now,

Speaker 1 where you can look at them one way and be like, I don't know, maybe not.

Speaker 1 All right, before we get to our next game.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Jaguars-Falcons. Now, we're going to get to a few games here that there's really nothing to talk about because it's week 16 and these teams aren't playing for anything.

Speaker 1 Jaguars, Falcons, a perfect case. The only thing I wrote down for this, Dan Quinn, he might not get fired.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 2 It is insane to think where we were like five weeks ago. I think Dan Quinn did get fired, but he just showed up before they issued the press release, and Arthur Blank was like, you know what? Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, whatever. Well, here's so

Speaker 1 your internet dad, my internet uncle, Mike Floyo, has a theory that Arthur Blank just doesn't like being told what to do.

Speaker 1 And everyone said that he had to fire Dan Quinn, so therefore he's going to keep Dan Quinn. Yeah.
Which is awesome.

Speaker 1 If you have an owner who's like, you know what, don't tell me what to do, and it works out that you get your job still.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, they might do the NHL thing where they bring him back and then fire him week two.

Speaker 1 He's next year. They're going to end up going seven and nine.

Speaker 1 I don't know who they play week 17. I think maybe the Panthers.
Either way, if they end up going seven and nine and Matt Ryan wants, he's said publicly he wants Dan Quinn to keep his job.

Speaker 1 This is one of those teams where you can look at it and be like, well, if a couple things go differently.

Speaker 2 They play the Bucs.

Speaker 1 They play the Bucs. Okay, so Jameis is going to torch that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so he might actually get

Speaker 1 10

Speaker 1 They're going to go 6-10, but this is, yeah, it's crazy that we're sitting here saying Dan Quinn,

Speaker 1 he's going to keep his job, maybe.

Speaker 2 And I think Doug Moreau is going to keep his job, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This is also a weird uniform game where it looked at it, you looked at it, and it felt like you were watching the NFL in 2040.

Speaker 1 Because it just, it's something about the Jaguars indoors and then the Falcons, you know, all blacks. It was just, I watched it, like, this isn't, this doesn't look like, this is a creative team.

Speaker 2 Well, it's not the Jaguars native environment. I always expect to see Florida teams playing outside.
Right. When a Florida team plays inside, it's definitely not natural at all.

Speaker 2 Leonard Fournette has gotten faster as the season's gone on.

Speaker 2 He went from, I thought he was like the slowest running back, the slowest starting running back in the league as of week four or five, at least in terms of approaching the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 2 He was doing what L'Avion Bell does, but unintentionally, just because he wasn't slow enough, or he wasn't fast enough.

Speaker 1 He's reached top speed, though, a few times.

Speaker 2 Yeah, now he's gotten good towards the end of the season. I don't know what it is.
He's just picking up steam.

Speaker 2 Garner Minshew, I still don't know what we think about him. Nah.
Makes me want to floss with a rattlesnake. Nah.

Speaker 1 All right. Sometimes

Speaker 2 I didn't really mean that, though. No, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 It's not there. The love's not there.

Speaker 2 It didn't come from my gut like it used to. Sure.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's like a Garner Minshew. Sure.
Yeah. Backup.
Maybe. Good backup.

Speaker 1 Good backup. Maybe with a little time.
Good locker room guy. Yeah, great locker room guy.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Ravens, Browns, this game actually did matter because the Ravens got the number one seed first time in franchise history, which isn't really saying much because it's not been that long of a franchise.

Speaker 1 But they wrapped it up so they get the playoffs go through Baltimore.

Speaker 1 Get your cargo

Speaker 1 pants ready, Baltimore.

Speaker 2 Your black, purple, silver, gray, and white camo pants.

Speaker 1 Ray Lewis black jersey ready to go.

Speaker 2 The white suit, throw that away.

Speaker 1 Which game do they do they have Ray Lewis come out for do they save him for the AFC Championship game?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you just got to keep him in a cage for a while

Speaker 1 toss him some red meat every now and again make sure that he's feisty he's got the tea up this is uh Lamar Jackson did his thing where a couple times today he made uh

Speaker 1 guys on the Browns team look like they'd never walked

Speaker 1 they're they're basically he makes at least twice a week, he makes someone look like a baby deer on ice. And it's crazy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, he hypnotizes them.

Speaker 2 It's nuts. There was one period, I think the last two minutes of the first half, where he threw for 138 yards.
Well, okay. Two minutes.
Now, I thought about this.

Speaker 2 I don't think that I could throw a football, walk to the football, pick it up, throw it again, walk to it again, and throw it for 138 yards if you just gave me 120 seconds.

Speaker 1 Walk? Yeah, walking. Your arm's not that strong, so yeah.

Speaker 2 It's pretty strong.

Speaker 2 You throw it with your ass, though. I bet you I could throw a football 45 yards.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 45? 45. 45.
45 yards, walk walk to the football. You could do that.
I don't know if I could do it,

Speaker 2 but he did it against a supposed NFL defense.

Speaker 1 Well, you mentioned it happened at the end of the second quarter, and this is a continuing theme on this podcast. I think in Cleveland, Freddie Kitchens needs to be fired.

Speaker 1 Situational football, not his strength. The Browns actually played a good first half, and the Ravens score.
It's 7-6,

Speaker 1 and he takes like all of, I think it was 25 seconds to give them the ball back.

Speaker 1 When all you have to do is maybe run the ball a couple times, maybe get into half, don't try to push it, don't let this explosive offense get the ball back before halftime.

Speaker 1 You failed that, and then it just,

Speaker 1 it really did feel like an upset alert to, oh, here come the Ravens. They're going to roll the Browns in the blink of an eye.
And only a bad coach lets that happen.

Speaker 1 I just don't.

Speaker 1 The only thing that Freddie Kitchens has going for him is that Jimmy Hasim at some point, at some point has to say, I'm tired of firing coaches, but

Speaker 5 I think he's worth it.

Speaker 1 I think he's worth firing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's got a name that is, it sounds too friendly to fire almost. Freddie Kitchens sounds like a drinking buddy.

Speaker 1 And Odell Beckham got in a fight.

Speaker 2 He got in a fight, Jarvis Landry, got into a little fight with him. They all hate him.
Freddie Kitchens has a turd where his brain should be.

Speaker 2 He's a dummy. He's a dummy, and it's not just the situational football because he also went for two at an inexplicable time.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Because Because he was just thinking, like, oh, the score is kind of close. It feels like more points would be better than fewer points right here.

Speaker 2 He did for two, but he muddies the water a little bit where he is bad at situational coaching, but he's also very bad at interpersonal relationships with his players.

Speaker 2 So you don't know which one to be more mad at him for at any given time.

Speaker 1 And bad at game planning, so you don't know if it's actually bad situational coaching or bad game planning. He kind of has you confused.

Speaker 1 Like, was he planning to be this bad, or was he planning to be good and then fucked it up by being bad?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I tweeted this out earlier today because I just remembered it. I can't believe we don't talk about it more often.

Speaker 2 The last time the Browns were looking for a head coach, there was an actual report that they were considering Condoleezza Rice as their head coach.

Speaker 1 That was Schefter trying to fucking get some clout.

Speaker 1 That was never real. That was an actual

Speaker 1 report that Adam Schefter tweeted out. But we don't talk about it.
I'm mad at Schefter for that. We don't talk about it.
That was

Speaker 1 Des Tapes. Fuck you, Schef.

Speaker 2 I feel like we forgot that Adam Schefter went out on that limb and said that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what he's saying. That's literally insane.

Speaker 1 He just wanted to get. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm still mad about that. I'm happy you said that because I'm mad at Shefty for that.
Because I don't think it ever was real. And he just did it to get some talk going.

Speaker 2 But I also think that Schefter is very protective about what he tweets out being good. He likes to make sure his information is decent.

Speaker 2 Usually, this was an all-time moment where I couldn't, I still can't believe that that was reported. Yeah.
Yeah, honestly, Connor Lisa Russ would probably be a better head coach.

Speaker 1 She wouldn't have everyone on her team

Speaker 1 hate her the way that they hate Freddie Kitchen.

Speaker 2 She's because she'd waterboard him.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 The Ravens, by the way, we're going to do rest vs. Rust.

Speaker 1 We haven't had a good rest versus Rust in a while. Yeah.
Because they have nothing to play for week 17 against a good Steelers defense. Then they get to buy.

Speaker 1 Are they going to...

Speaker 1 I feel like we haven't had a good rest versus Rust

Speaker 1 since since the Peyton Manning Colts. That was the best.
Every single year it was like rest versus Russ.

Speaker 1 Should they start the guys or not?

Speaker 2 In like week 14, people would start discussing, yeah, Tony Dungy would, and Tony Dungy would like alternate every other year

Speaker 2 what his strategy was going to be.

Speaker 2 I am hoping in week 17 for an RG3 start, and I'm hoping that we get an RG3 Matt Flynn game where he puts up like five touchdowns, and then he gets a starting contract next year and then gets benched before week one.

Speaker 2 I actually don't hope that. I want to see RG3 play well, and I want to get hurt playing the Steelers.

Speaker 2 There was like a 15-second span today where Mark Ingram, Mark Andrews, and Lamar Jackson all had calf issues.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Lamar Jackson got jacked up on a play, too. Yeah, all of Baltimore was watching that.

Speaker 2 I'm shocked that RG3 didn't have sympathy pains when everybody else started getting calf cramps.

Speaker 1 He just went down on a knee.

Speaker 2 Yeah, where he's like, yeah, me too, guys.

Speaker 2 But I think that this might be a player backups role for some of the guys on the Ravens that don't see a lot of playing time because you don't want to have a big injury.

Speaker 1 No, there's no reason. There's no reason.
But then you got two weeks off. Right.
So that's right. That's rust.

Speaker 2 That's rust at that point. Maybe you can do a simulated game.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that's a lot of rust and you only get one shot in the playoffs. If you come out and you fuck up in the first half because of the rust.

Speaker 2 Then people want Joe Flacco back in.

Speaker 1 Just saying last year. Rest versus Russ.
Let's talk about it. All right.
Saints, Titans, next up.

Speaker 1 This game actually didn't mean anything for the the Titans because the Texans winning on Saturday means they won the AFC South.

Speaker 1 And the Titans game on Sunday, they just have to win next Sunday to get into the playoffs because they hold the tiebreaker over the Steelers.

Speaker 1 So I guess it did mean something while the Steelers were still playing, but it ended up not meaning anything because now the Titans just have to win to get in.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that's why they probably didn't push Derrick Henry to play.

Speaker 1 And if Derrick Henry plays this game, I think the Titans win. Oh, definitely.
Because they were up 14-0. Yeah.
And it was a perfect. They were up 14-0.
They looked great.

Speaker 1 Then they punted five straight possessions. Those were such classic, we'll just feed the rock to Derrick Henry, let him eat up yards, let him eat up clock, and control the pace of this game.

Speaker 1 And without that, they're a different team.

Speaker 2 Right. So Derrick Henry sitting was one of two elements to the loss.
I think the other was Mike Vrabel shaved his mustache. Yep.
So he went out there clean-shaven, lost the power stash.

Speaker 2 I fully believe that he can grow an entire beard in one week. So he'll be ready next Sunday against against the Texans.

Speaker 1 Even a wispy mustache will be good enough.

Speaker 2 He'll have something. Yeah, it'll be better than whatever grows out of Bill O'Brien's butt chin.
Yes. But I hope that he brings it back for next week because it was shocking to see him without it.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, you shaved.

Speaker 2 I trimmed. Trimmed.
It looked awful. You looked great.
Thank you. It looked awful last week, and so now I look beautiful again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it got to you a little bit.

Speaker 2 It did. Well, it was.

Speaker 1 You got a little triggered online. You had to murder someone.

Speaker 2 No, it wasn't so much the online comments as it was the comments that I was delivering to myself in the mirror. Right.

Speaker 1 It was better. And then the guy that you had to murder him.

Speaker 2 I had to murder him. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's not a jury in the world that would convict me for that, though.

Speaker 1 You went a little harder.

Speaker 2 Sometimes you got to let people know you still got it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to just. And you're not mad at all.

Speaker 2 No, you got to just clean somebody's closet.

Speaker 1 You're out like send a message to everybody. 400 words about one guy's child.

Speaker 1 But not mad.

Speaker 2 There's a 240 character.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you did a thread.

Speaker 2 It was a very important thread.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you threaded him.

Speaker 2 I regret nothing.

Speaker 1 You threaded his ass.

Speaker 1 All right. Oh, Michael Thomas breaks the record for single season receptions.
Marvin Harrison, sorry, buddy. But Michael Thomas, can't guard Mike.

Speaker 1 How about today on red zone when Chris Harrison just dropped in casually that he was

Speaker 2 Scott Hansen? Chris Harrison?

Speaker 1 Chris Harrison, Scott Hanson.

Speaker 2 Chris Harrison would be a great guy. I'm out on Scott Hanson.

Speaker 1 It would be a great now.

Speaker 1 I'm in a little Scott Hansen. He needs to know the spread way more than he.

Speaker 1 He cares way too much about fantasy. Throw in a spread.
Yeah, throw in a spread.

Speaker 2 He does care a lot. He's a big, well, I wonder if you had Caden Smith starting on your favorite.
Row in a sprint.

Speaker 1 Throwing a second upside. He's high school.
I mean, he was college teammates with Marvin Harrison. Who? Scott Hanson? Yes.
What? Yes. Scott Hans.

Speaker 1 Yes. I swear to God, on the broadcast, they're like, and he just passed my college teammate, Marvin Harrison's record.
Wow. No.

Speaker 2 I got to learn more about that relationship.

Speaker 1 Wow. Scott Hanson also.

Speaker 2 He also threw out a fake Octobox.

Speaker 1 He thought he was the Rudy without the play.

Speaker 2 The Octobox doesn't count if one of the boxes in the Octobox is the studio shot of the Red Zone channel.

Speaker 1 No, I saw your tweet about that. There was eight boxes, PFT.

Speaker 2 It needs to be eight games. No, but it's eight boxes.
That's a Septo box. It's not an Octobox.

Speaker 1 But there was eight boxes. It just

Speaker 1 wasn't a good one.

Speaker 2 One of the boxes was a fraudulent box.

Speaker 1 Was Chris Harrison the bad team? It was a game box.

Speaker 2 It was a box that somebody would steal off your wait, so they weren't high school college teammates.

Speaker 1 College teammates. That's crazy.
Syracuse. Yeah.
That is crazy. Look at you, Scott Hanson.
I have a little more respect for you guys. Just make sure you're spread, dude.
Just do it once.

Speaker 2 Anybody that survived multiple years with Marvin Harrison probably knows a thing or two about

Speaker 2 getting down dirty. Yes.

Speaker 1 But just like,

Speaker 1 I think it was the Bengals Dolphins game that was pissing me off. Second half.
Like, a lot was at stake. Yes.
And he was pretending nothing was at stake.

Speaker 2 It was also probably the most entertaining game of the day.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
So that was Saints Titans. Real quick.
Michael Thomas can't guard Mike.

Speaker 2 Shout out. He's going to have 160 receptions this year.
Yeah. We need to maybe think about having an intervention for Sean Payton with Taysom Hill.
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 He just keeps trying to wedge them into everything.

Speaker 1 Well, you got to keep, you know,

Speaker 1 you got to keep them loose. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, we were talking to somebody that's familiar with Sean Payton and the Saints, and their theory is that Sean Payton wants somebody to overpay for Taysom Hill when he becomes a free agent to be a quarterback.

Speaker 2 And so that's why he keeps letting him throw the ball so that one of his future rivals will have a bunch of cap space tied up in Taysom Hill.

Speaker 1 Taysom, I mean,

Speaker 1 he could be the future himself. Why not? Yeah, sure.
Well, Teddy, Sean Payton can do anything. At this this point, when it comes to offensive football, why not? People forget they were 4-0 with Teddy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
They were. He kept this season afloat.
Yeah, he's lost less games than Drew Brees this year. Fact.
That's a fact. Yep.
Fact.

Speaker 2 And he's ignored Drew Brees' daughter fewer times than Drew Brees has. Also a fact.

Speaker 1 Panthers, Colts.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I don't know.

Speaker 5 Oh, Christian McCaffrey.

Speaker 1 Let's just... appreciate him because he's on a shitty ass team, but he's still having an unbelievable season.

Speaker 6 Good job, Christian.

Speaker 1 He broke his own record for receptions by a running back

Speaker 1 in a season.

Speaker 1 And he is 216 yards away from breaking Chris Johnson's record for total combined yards, rushing and receiving. That's kind of cool.

Speaker 2 Anytime you pass Chris Johnson in anything, that's cool.

Speaker 1 So good job.

Speaker 2 Fast individual.

Speaker 1 But yeah, this game really didn't matter.

Speaker 1 Naheem Hines. That was pretty cool.
Two punt returns for a touchdown.

Speaker 2 Again, didn't really matter.

Speaker 1 Will Greer was there.

Speaker 2 Was his first game?

Speaker 1 He showed up. Yeah.
And he kept on showing his dad just putting his hands in his head, which is like, damn it.

Speaker 2 He learned a lot of lessons today.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's good education for him. Hey, Panthers, are you sure you really want to move on from Cam Newton?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like you've seen enough of life without Cam Newton to be like, maybe let's do this one more time with Cam Newton.

Speaker 2 I also feel like Cam hasn't been around that much, has he? He hasn't been around the team.

Speaker 2 I haven't heard much from Cam recently. Has he been

Speaker 1 a crazy video where he was talking about his health after the injury, and he was like, I'm not coming back till I'm 100% healthy. And I haven't really heard or seen from him since then.
Yeah. So

Speaker 1 I just know that this is everyone in the middle of the season. Kyle Allen had his little thing, and everyone said, oh, well, Cam Newton, who's going to, where's Cam Newton going to be next year?

Speaker 1 If you're the Panthers, I think you kind of want to keep him.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you want to keep him involved.

Speaker 1 Have him

Speaker 2 be the stylist for the team and get everybody dressed for the post-game press conferences after bad loss.

Speaker 1 They're a bad, bad team. Only scoring six points is a bad, bad team.
But yeah, this game happened. It really wasn't.
It was just one of those week 16 games that you really won't remember,

Speaker 1 but it happened. It did happen.
It happened. It was confirmed.
All right, let's do the best game of the day, which was the worst game, but the best game, the Bengals and Dolphins.

Speaker 2 It was an awesome game.

Speaker 1 It was. I actually think, my theory is that Ryan Fitzpatrick and Andy Dalton maybe got a gift for both opposing defenses and were like, hey, guys, we both want to have jobs next year, so take it easy.

Speaker 1 Because they both were incredible. They both had four touchdowns, lit it up.

Speaker 1 Ryan Fitzpatrick had like 250 yards in the first half. Andy Dalton finished the game just going insane to bring them back and go to overtime.

Speaker 1 I was kind of hoping that the Bengals would just kick the extra point when they scored with like five seconds left.

Speaker 2 To intentionally lose.

Speaker 1 To lose by one, which would have been hilarious.

Speaker 2 But this was also a rematch of the Super Bowl coaching when it came to Zach Taylor and Brian Flores so of course they would play an exciting game that was way better than the Super Bowl last year it was it was a reminder that sometimes teams that suck are a lot more fun to watch especially at the end of the year yeah because they start what happens is once you achieve a certain level of succitude you start not caring anymore and you start just going for it and trying all the weird plays that maybe you were afraid to try when you weren't sure if you were good enough to try these weird plays.

Speaker 2 But now you're at a level where you can just say, fuck it, and run all these gadgets and weird motion plays and just throw it deep. And all of a sudden, you suck so much that you become good again.

Speaker 1 And it was two quarterbacks who are very used to throwing interceptions. So that was not going to bother them.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's two guys who really just don't care about getting out there and throwing it around. And the Bengals got the first pick in the draft.

Speaker 2 I love those tweets.

Speaker 1 Next on the clock, the Cincinnati Bengals. No, they're officially

Speaker 1 on the clock. Cincinnati Bengals.

Speaker 1 Joe Burrow going to Cincinnati. Maybe.
We'll see. I don't know.
I mean, it's.

Speaker 2 Going back home?

Speaker 1 We still got to do the combine, and someone has to wow us.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, we don't know the size of Joe's hands yet officially, so we don't know what all this tape from college is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some cone drills and everything, and then be like, ooh, this guy's going to come up the, you know, Justin Herbert still.

Speaker 1 He's got that Josh Allen feel where some scouts are going to be like, oh, man.

Speaker 2 There's also going to be a quarterback from like Northwestern that gets bumped up really high towards the end. Fun fact, Ryan Fitzpatrick, he leads the Dolphins in rushing this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I knew that. So that's cool.
They traded Kenyon Drake.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's a dual-threat guy. He's revolutionizing NFL offenses.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 So this was a legitimately fun game. And say something nice about the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 You won more than we thought. No.
PFT thought you're going to win seven games. So yeah.
You educated a nation of AWLs.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's true.

Speaker 2 Hank, I heard that you went a little far last week with the dolphin clip, the dolphin audio. Like an actual assassin.

Speaker 1 I was not the one that went out of my way to go find and capture and murder dolphins. You guys say, hey, Hank, can you find a clip of dolphins getting murdered or captured?

Speaker 1 And I said, yes, and that's exactly what I did.

Speaker 2 You did your job. Yes.
Do your job.

Speaker 1 Also, after like 10 weeks, like, you know. It gets hard.
Right.

Speaker 2 There only, but so many dolphin murders on tape that's been captured.

Speaker 1 Yeah, surprisingly, there's actually a shit ton. It's very fucked up.
That is fucked up. So save the dolphins.

Speaker 2 Maybe we've drawn some awareness to this cause, and so hopefully we've saved at least one or two Dolphins' lives. Yes.

Speaker 2 This game took place at the exact same time as the other two shittiest teams in the league. We're also duking it out to see who was going to get the worst draft pick.
It was hilarious.

Speaker 2 It was 35s across the board.

Speaker 2 Both games were tied 35-35 going into overtime simultaneously.

Speaker 2 I was going to say like a snake eating its own tail, but it was like a human centipede of shit that

Speaker 2 was connected.

Speaker 2 So nobody had a free mouth or ass.

Speaker 1 Yes, so we'll talk about Giants, Redskins was the other game. It was happening all at the same time.
Who could get the first pick?

Speaker 1 The top of the draft was big time in flux when the Giants and Redskins were in overtime and the Bengals and the Dolphins were in overtime.

Speaker 1 So the Giants, Redskins, Bill Callahan, you are a fucking coward. Holy shit, dude.
You got nothing to play for. You're an interim head coach.

Speaker 1 You've actually said you don't even, like, you know you're not even going to be the head coach.

Speaker 2 He doesn't want to.

Speaker 1 He doesn't want to be the head coach. Why would you not go for two when you score at the end of the game? It was crazy.

Speaker 2 It was great, though.

Speaker 1 It was crazy.

Speaker 2 As somebody that has somewhat of a vested interest in the R words, I was happy that he didn't go for two because they were going to fuck around and get it.

Speaker 2 It was also, Dan Snyder, I will say something very nice about Dan Snyder.

Speaker 2 He did something smart today. Yeah, I know.
He told Dwayne Haskins not to go back in the game after he injured his leg. So it only took like three.

Speaker 1 You're talking about Team Dr. Dan Snyder?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Team Dr. Dan Snyder made the call.

Speaker 2 He's such, he oversteps his bounds so much that eventually he got one right.

Speaker 2 And he learned from his previous like three or four mistakes and said, hey, don't play our starting quarterback who's coming off of a bad leg injury.

Speaker 2 So he learned and also he learned because towards the end of the game and in overtime,

Speaker 2 the stands were, the crowd was cheering loudly while the Redskins were on offense because there were so many fans of the Giants that infiltrated the stadium.

Speaker 2 So his strategy of turning FedEx Field into an opposite of a home field advantage actually paid off in getting us a better pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Away games are good for your young quarterback.

Speaker 1 Teach them how to win on the road. Very true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that sucked that Dwayne Haskins got hurt because he actually was playing well. Case Keenum, though, is Case Keenum is the perfect guy to come in as a backup.

Speaker 1 He is an all-time backup guy where when he comes in and

Speaker 1 starter getting hurt, your offense is always going to be better for that game. Yeah.
Because he's just going to go run around, fling the ball around the yard, and make plays.

Speaker 2 It's once you attach the term starting quarterback Chris Keenum to him that things go downhill.

Speaker 1 And you start saying, ooh, is this our guy? That's when things suck. I'm going to put my old man Saquon Take on ice because he was awesome.

Speaker 2 He was pretty good too.

Speaker 1 He was pretty damn good. And I have a question for you.
So when I was driving in to work, they had on the radio the post-game locker room, and they were interviewing all the Giants.

Speaker 1 Everyone on the Giants calls Daniel Jones DJ.

Speaker 1 I don't like that.

Speaker 2 No, I don't like that Donaldson.

Speaker 1 He's not a DJ. It's too much swag.

Speaker 2 We know that real swag is no swag. Yeah.
So he doesn't have any real swag. I have to call him Dege.

Speaker 1 I'm not a fan of that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 DJ. Dan.
He's more of a Dan.

Speaker 1 No, he's a Daniel.

Speaker 2 We all know a Dan in our lives.

Speaker 1 He's a Daniel. Yeah.
He's a Daniel.

Speaker 1 I mean, he goes by Daniel. If he's specifically going by Daniel, he wants to be called Daniel.
It's Mitch Mitchell. Like, he has made it clear.
So, DJ, I don't think it works.

Speaker 2 That does work. I highly doubt that he calls himself DJ.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 Once I got to the fourth guy who said it, I was like, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 Is he a DJ? No.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I agree with you.

Speaker 2 It doesn't match up.

Speaker 2 You can't wear a collared shirt all the time and be a DJ.

Speaker 1 You can't rock Brooks Brothers and not be called Daniel. Agreed.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah,

Speaker 1 this game was also fun. So credit to the really bad teams for putting on really really fun games on Sunday.
That's what week 16 is about.

Speaker 2 It's also pretty hilarious that by the Giants winning this game, they put Chase Young in their own division against them. Yes.
So, that's Chess versus Checkers.

Speaker 1 Well, Pat Shermer's trying to save his job. So, and you know, Pat Shermer, they are now ready to win.

Speaker 2 He's delusional enough to think that his job is savable.

Speaker 1 I'll say this.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be shocked if the Giants somehow beat the Eagles on Sunday. I wouldn't either.
Like, that's

Speaker 1 just stupid enough for the NFC East to come down to that and have the Cowboys not make the playoffs, or the Cowboys make the playoffs because the Giants beat the Eagles after the Eagles beat the Cowboys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I could absolutely see that happening.

Speaker 2 And I think that Pat Shermer's going to try to do this thing where he becomes, he tries to ingratiate himself with Daniel Jones so that he's known as the Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 He's calling him DJ right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They're going out for a meal of boiled chicken.

Speaker 1 Hey, DJ, where are you on? Diet rice tomorrow. On me, dude.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Saw on me, DJ.

Speaker 2 That's really your last - that's your last hope to save your job if you're in this position as a coach is just try to make your new young quarterback fall in love with you.

Speaker 1 All right. So before we get to our next game, you should just try to date him.

Speaker 2 Like, be like, I like you. Do you like me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you want to start? You want to make this official? Yeah. You want to get a place together.

Speaker 2 That's your only way.

Speaker 1 That's what Derek Carr is doing with John Gruen right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, becoming your boyfriend. That's the only way that you can save your job.

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Speaker 1 Okay, the other New York team, Steelers, Jets.

Speaker 1 Man, did the Steelers fuck this one up.

Speaker 1 And also just a classic Jets win.

Speaker 1 Like, this is, this was, the Jets, I feel like, win these games every single year where they have nothing to play for and they beat a good team, a team that's trying to get in the playoffs, just so they can be like, hey, we're building something.

Speaker 6 And that's exactly what happened.

Speaker 2 Yes, it was a bad game

Speaker 2 to be a Pittsburgh Steeler fan. Duck didn't play so great.

Speaker 1 At the start of this game, we can say that.

Speaker 2 We can say Duck didn't have a great game.

Speaker 1 That doesn't mean he sucks long term, but he sucked today.

Speaker 2 Then Mason got in and he was not bad. He was not bad, but then he was still Mason in the hurt.
And then Duck came in later.

Speaker 1 Marquise Pouncey got hurt, and then didn't the backup center step on.

Speaker 1 I think that's what happened. It was like a comedy of errors, how it all happened.

Speaker 2 The backup center stepped on Mason.

Speaker 1 I think something like that happened, where it just all fell apart. Or maybe he missed a block, and then Mason Rudolph got stepped on.
It was like, it was one, one thing.

Speaker 1 Pouncey got hurt, and then boom, like four plays later, it was Mason Rudolph got hurt.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was a big revenge game for l'évion bell and for heinz ward who's a receivers coach on the jets who has no reason to be mad about the steelers because he is a stealer for lane but he requested to get a gatorade bath after the game from braxton berries so probably i'd say that's probably the saddest gatorade bath that's ever happened in the nfl yes uh and then they showed fat larger big ben kind of sad on the sidelines i

Speaker 1 that has to this has to be it went from a lost season for the steelers to now you got to be be frustrated if you're a Steelers fan because

Speaker 1 their defense is so fucking good and their defense keeps them in every single game. They just can't get out of their own way when it comes to

Speaker 1 so many injuries. They've, you know, their receivers are all hurt.
The running backs hurt. The quarterbacks hurt.
It's been a shit show on offense.

Speaker 1 But if you're watching this defense, if you're a Steelers fan, you have to be so frustrated being like, fuck, man, they're so good.

Speaker 2 And even if you make the playoffs, it's not going to be good. It's not going to turn out well for you.
It's, you know, we always talk about.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you got to to the young guys some uh reps though we always talk about the teams that you don't want to play in the playoffs the the steelers are the team that you would absolutely want to play the most my pft's teams you don't want to play you ready for this i'm going to go with the ravens and uh oh wow the 49ers tam what about the saints in the dome and the saints and the dome you know it's tough to win in the dome and green bay and lambo they're frauds uh yeah so this game sucked for the steelers i don't really know what else it was just a pointless game for the jets to win but they kind of threw a wrench in everything and now the titans are gonna be in the playoffs mike tomlin looked awesome on the sidelines he was rocking the aviators today yeah he did aviator mike tomlin is always a sight yeah so he still gets in my book coach of the year nominee you know

Speaker 2 if i had a vote i'd throw him in i'd throw him a vote a pity vote did the steel did i read this wrong or did the steelers nominate marquise pouncey as their walter payton man of the year should i love i think i read that and good for them good yes he should win it for for defending mason rudolph that would be awesome if he won and he just punched rogerdell in the face, accepting the trophy.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up, I got a SeatGeek question for you.
SeatGeek promo code take,

Speaker 1 throw it in there, and you get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase. Do you have any memories from the Lions and Broncos playing football today? That's a SeatGeek question.

Speaker 2 I do, because the Broncos wore awesome uniforms. So they decked out in their orange, and they were

Speaker 2 rocking the D on the side of their helmet.

Speaker 1 I also said to myself in the first half when the game, when the Lions were up 10-0,

Speaker 1 I said, oh, maybe this is something we can take going forward for betting trends.

Speaker 1 When a coach gets the vote of confidence and gets to keep his job, guys will play harder even in a lost season because they know that that coach is going to pick who he's keeping on the team next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Not true. Definitely not true.

Speaker 1 Because they stunk. They had a kick return, and that was it.
Yeah, that's it. It was a bad game.

Speaker 2 I'm looking through the stats. No, they said the stats stats of this game.

Speaker 2 Kenny Galladay.

Speaker 2 Kenny Galladay is a very good wide receiver and he's very, very fast. He's really the one skilled position player.
Carry-on Johnson's pretty good, too, I guess.

Speaker 1 Okay, so here's something nice. We'll say Drew Locke looks like the future in Denver, but here's something nice I'll say to the Lions fans who are probably so sick of even hearing about the Lions.

Speaker 1 Root for the Redskins next week because if the Redskins beat the Cowboys, which isn't crazy given the Redskins season,

Speaker 1 the Lions would get Chase Young.

Speaker 2 That'd be great. So there it is.

Speaker 5 That would be something that's returned to him.

Speaker 2 And then he'll retire in five years.

Speaker 1 Yes, he'll be incredible. He'll make five straight Pro Bowls.
He'll be a future Hall of Famer. And then he'll be like, he'll get addicted to weed and not wanting to kill himself for the Lions.

Speaker 2 Yes. He'll be like, you know what? I can go live in Miami, so I'm going to do that.
Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up, Raiders-Chargers.

Speaker 1 We were robbed of Phil Rivers late because they didn't get the onside kick. But the big story coming out of this game is the Oakland Raiders are still alive.
Somehow. They're still in the hunt.

Speaker 1 Somewhere. I'll tell you how.
So this is what they needed to happen today, and it all happened. The Raiders had to beat the Chargers.
The Ravens had to beat the Browns happened.

Speaker 1 Jets over the Steelers happened. Saints over the Titans happened.
Colts over the Panthers happened. Next week, they need to beat the Broncos.
The Browns need to beat the Bengals.

Speaker 1 The Ravens need to beat the Steelers, who the Ravens won't be playing anyone. The Texans need to beat the Titans.
That's going to be tough because the Texans won't be playing anyone.

Speaker 1 And the Colts need to beat the Jaguars.

Speaker 2 They are still alive.

Speaker 1 It could definitely happen.

Speaker 2 I mean, the big one is going to be Texans, Titans.

Speaker 2 If that happens, I could see the others falling.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what this is all just working up to be: is that all those things happen, and then the Raiders lose to the Broncos in Denver. Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's the most likely option.

Speaker 1 100% going to happen.

Speaker 2 And then John Gruden kills. Well, not kills, but probably just leaves him behind at the crazy, weird, occult Denver International International Airport.

Speaker 2 He buries him in one of those mounds next to the flaming red horse outside the airport and then goes back to Oakland without him.

Speaker 1 Derek Carr was good today. I actually think Derek Carr will probably, you know, just mention today's game as many times as possible to John Gruden this week.
Like maybe even print out the stats sheet.

Speaker 1 Maybe if he is a nominee for the Aaron Ground player of the week,

Speaker 1 he can throw that out there because he's got to do anything to remind John Gruden that he's he's the quarterback right now and keep him.

Speaker 2 Because he's not going to keep him. So, I mean, he had a pretty good statistical game today.

Speaker 7 He was 26 for 30.

Speaker 2 26 for 30, 291 yards, a touchdown, 95.6 QBR. We don't know what goes into that.
It's just Ron Jaworski with an abacus

Speaker 2 in a toilet stall with his pants on.

Speaker 1 He's got his Chinese finger torture thing that he just holds and he's just trying to get out of it. Then he just says a number when he gets frustrated.

Speaker 2 So it was a 95.6, whatever that means. You know the old story, like if you're getting chased by a tiger, you don't have to be faster than the tiger.

Speaker 2 You have to just be faster than the other guy that's getting chased. If Derek Carr can just,

Speaker 2 he outplayed Philip Rivers today. If he can outplay Drew Locke in front of John Gruden next week,

Speaker 2 then he might have a chance to stick around.

Speaker 2 This was a sad day. Yes.
It was the, I believe it was the last game for the Chargers in the storied home field of Metroplex. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Put some respect on it.
It's Dignity Health Sports Park.

Speaker 2 Dignity Health Megaplex.

Speaker 1 Damn, it's Dignity Health Sports Park.

Speaker 2 And Croquet Club.

Speaker 1 What was your favorite memory of Dignity Health Sports Park? Was it when

Speaker 1 the Raiders fans took over, the Packer fans took over, the Steeler fans took over, the Viking fans took over, or the Chiefs fans took over?

Speaker 2 I think the Chiefs, because the Red really stood out in the stadiums. The Chiefs fans were pretty good there.

Speaker 1 All right, yeah. So Dignity Health Sports Park.
It's tough. We've lost two stadiums in the last two weeks.

Speaker 1 We lose the Coliseum, and then we lose the historic Dignity Health Sports Park because the Chargers played in a soccer stadium for four years. They did.

Speaker 2 Well, no, my favorite memory was when Phillip Rivers yelled in Gockway's ear the other week, and that was on Mike Duff. I think that took place in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 No, it was actually Jacksonville.

Speaker 2 It was. Okay, never mind.
So put that word.

Speaker 1 You know what? Let's say it. I'm going back to the Chiefs game then.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I can't believe that they did that, and they did that. And I still can't believe that anyone thinks that LA

Speaker 1 needs two teams.

Speaker 1 Makes no fucking sense.

Speaker 2 If the Raiders get into the playoffs, they...

Speaker 1 No, they can't get a home team.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying, feels team of destiny-ish.

Speaker 1 No. When you have Al and the team leaving Oakland.
No, no.

Speaker 1 No. Just saying.
I thought you were going to.

Speaker 2 I don't think they're.

Speaker 2 Don't get it twisted. I don't think that they're good enough to win a playoff game, but I do think that there's a lot of spooky stuff going on behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 I think it's just everyone else sucks for the AFC's sixth seed.

Speaker 2 I never want to bet against Mark Davis.

Speaker 1 I just would love to. I would never

Speaker 1 want to find myself in the first game. If they had to go, oh, that would be a game that they would then have to go play the Chiefs.
There you go, Hank. So that would be a division.
That would be a

Speaker 1 division game. So they would have to go play Kansas City and they'd get the shit kicked out of them.
They would. Because I think they've lost like 80 to 10 this year against the Chiefs.

Speaker 2 It's tough to beat a team three times, though. It is.

Speaker 1 Very tough.

Speaker 1 All right. The big game.
So

Speaker 1 we said this, that the bad games were actually the good games, and the good games are the bad games, because the Cowboys and Eagles game was not very good, but the Eagles, Carson Wentz was very good, and credit to the Eagles in a season when they've had every single guy get injured.

Speaker 1 It was that moment when they had, I think it was Mills was going to the locker room while

Speaker 1 Fletcher Cox was going in the concussion tent. It was back-to-back.

Speaker 2 Fletcher got his arm wrapped up like he was Mega Man.

Speaker 2 They pretty much had to wrap a trash can in an ace bandage and put it around his arm because his arm is the size of my waist.

Speaker 1 Someone, like, Miles Sanders tweaked his ankle after, you know, in the fourth quarter and went to the sideline. They're like, sorry, dude, we're all out of gauze.
Yeah. We don't have anything left.

Speaker 1 Fletcher Cox took it all.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, all the provisions on your Oregon Trail of a season have all been lost.

Speaker 1 So Carson Wentz gets all the credit in the world because he's been much maligned this year, and he was awesome. The Cowboys Cowboys are just a fucking joke.

Speaker 2 They're bad. Dak Prescott, I think, is hurt.
I think

Speaker 2 he at least needs to leak some of that. He needs to have unnecessary surgery during the offseason if he's not hurt, if he wants to secure the $50 million a year or whatever he's going to do.

Speaker 1 Sick of the Cowboys.

Speaker 2 Skip Bayless, breaking news.

Speaker 2 He re-put Ezekiel Elliott's jersey back into his trash can next to his piss microwave.

Speaker 1 And so if the... The piss microwave is making waves.
We've been talking about it on this show for a few weeks now, but it's really, now that it's the third or fourth video, he's put it out there,

Speaker 1 people are really starting to question what is going on with that microwave.

Speaker 2 Do you think he microwaves his balls before he goes on the air to give takes? Yeah, that hot take.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's how he gets amped.

Speaker 1 No, I think he microwaves like a mug of water and then just can pull it right out and just dip his balls in it.

Speaker 2 Or he might microwave his own piss.

Speaker 1 Coley tweeted about it and someone replied to him and said, my dad is a luxury home designer and that's actually like a luxury home thing. It's a pull-out microwave.
Huh. And that's clearly a thing.

Speaker 1 I won't understand it until Christy Teigen does one of those AMAs on Twitter and explains how rich people live. Yeah.
And then I'll understand.

Speaker 2 I'm not a fan of the dick microwave. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 I don't know. You know, I honestly don't know.
I can't. I'm not going to make a declarative statement.
I hope to have enough money someday to own a dick microwave.

Speaker 2 As a person who has struggled in the past reaching up to the correct height to pull things out of a microwave before, I would rather do that, like stay on my tiptoes than reach down.

Speaker 2 I don't want to pull my back or throw it out. It's true.

Speaker 1 Although,

Speaker 2 now that I'm thinking about it, just having anything at dick level is kind of a power move. Yes, I agree.
Because it makes more people who are in your kitchen look at.

Speaker 1 And if you push a button, if it was a push-out button and you could like

Speaker 1 hump it open. Damn.
Yeah, you'd fuck it. You'd feel horny on it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you'd fuck that microwave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you know you would. Yeah, oh, yeah.
I'd give it a little hip thrust.

Speaker 1 A little, like, even just a side check. Yeah.

Speaker 2 yeah anything in a dude's house that's at dick level you have to brush up against every now and again uh

Speaker 1 i have a question so who gets like more he never has to buy a beer in philly again status greg ward or dallas goddard dallas goddard was awesome zacher's got hurt in this game and dallas godder was incredible and i feel like he's gonna be one of those guys that lives in like they'll make a statue for him i think dallas because his name's dallas yeah and if you beat the cowboys with a guy named dallas it's you achieve legendary status.

Speaker 1 I just love the guys who step up in the big-time moments for a city like Philadelphia because you know they become legends forever. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 this is,

Speaker 1 there's Philly fans right now who are sitting there, and they went through hell this year defending their guy, Carson Wentz.

Speaker 1 Tonight has to feel so sweet because you not only beat the Cowboys and Dak Prescott, but you most likely are going to go to the playoffs in a season that looked like absolute shit.

Speaker 1 And now we get to do the game where we tell ourselves, watch out. You want to talk about teams you don't want to play? Are the Eagles now a team you don't want to play? In Philly, yeah.

Speaker 1 And you know what?

Speaker 2 It would probably be the Vikings, right?

Speaker 1 The Vikings. Oh, my God, they'll get kicked.
The fucking cousin

Speaker 2 is going to get smoked in Philly. Absolutely smoked.
It's a city of brother love, not Cousinsley love.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 That's so. They're going to get their ass kicked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they are. They're going to get their ass kicked.

Speaker 2 Went to Cousinsley?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the first thing.

Speaker 2 I was just freestyling.

Speaker 1 Remember when the the Vikings fans went and they just like

Speaker 1 the Eagles fans just throwing beers at them? Yeah. Be nice to us.
Yeah. You're fucked.
You're fucked.

Speaker 2 It's not a Kirk Cousins City. Wait.

Speaker 1 No, wait.

Speaker 1 The Eagles fans coming to. Oh, yeah, no, no, it will be the Vikings.
Yeah, the Vikings would have to go there. Wait, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 The Vikings might be the sixth seed because wouldn't it be the Seahawks or yeah, no, the Seahawks would be the fifth seed?

Speaker 2 Seahawks would be fifth.

Speaker 1 Or the Seahawks or the 49ers would be fifth. Yes.
Shit. Damn.

Speaker 1 There goes our. Damn it.

Speaker 2 I'm still not convinced.

Speaker 1 PFT has been on the playoff machine heavy.

Speaker 2 I'm pretty owning this fucking machine.

Speaker 1 But you've been kind of making some mistakes for being on it for so long.

Speaker 2 Which mistakes have I made?

Speaker 1 This one.

Speaker 2 Hang on. Stand by.

Speaker 2 Stand by.

Speaker 2 I got to update the Packers.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you. I'm almost updated.
No, no.

Speaker 2 So here's what happens. The Vikings win tomorrow night, tonight, against the Packers.
Okay. They could be the fifth seed.
The Eagles could be the fourth seed if they win next week.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 they would get it over the 49ers, are you saying? They wouldn't get it over the Seahawks.

Speaker 2 The Eagles would be the fourth seed. Right.
The Vikings would be the fifth seed.

Speaker 5 But the Vikings would draft

Speaker 1 Philadelphia.

Speaker 2 What would the Seahawks be? The Seahawks could be the sixth seed.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 if the Seahawks beat the 49ers, they would be the fifth seed because they beat the Vikings.

Speaker 2 If the Seahawks beat the 49ers, the 49ers would be the sixth seed.

Speaker 1 So they would not get the tiebreaker over the Vikings?

Speaker 2 The Vikings would have the fifth seed.

Speaker 1 Okay. So

Speaker 2 you'd like to apologize to me for my use of the playoff machine?

Speaker 1 If you apologize for your dip spit, because I know it wasn't a dip spit.

Speaker 1 I actually think you're crazy.

Speaker 2 Somebody pointed out to me that on a

Speaker 2 week five episode of the Fantasy Funhouse Factory,

Speaker 2 two individuals that were on the show said that they were dipping at the time in our studio.

Speaker 1 That was actually a fantasy football Twitch stream where multi-platform, multifaceted. So that was in the Barcelona game time room.
Did not happen in the studio.

Speaker 1 the dip spit actually like bothers me to my core because i think you might actually be a little sociopathic to deny it to this level i just don't we can't

Speaker 1 do it full mountain dew bottle who is on your side though who sips a mountain dew bottle and then starts dipping it it was on your side was on your side yeah exactly where he does the interviews Well, I don't do that during interviews.

Speaker 1 Right, you dip before the interview and then you put it down.

Speaker 2 You can do that during an interview, as opposed to just leaving my dip behind the side.

Speaker 1 I have gone to sleep every night since being like,

Speaker 1 I can't tell if PFT is doing a bit or not. I think he actually thinks it wasn't his, and that's crazy.

Speaker 2 You're doing a great job of deflecting from my pristine use of the playoff simulator.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, we don't know if the Vikings are going to be the fifth or the sixth seed. That's true.

Speaker 2 Correct.

Speaker 1 And we don't know even if the Eagles are going to get in there.

Speaker 2 But it could happen. So, yeah, if you apologize to the fifths of the fifth, we don't know if it was PFT's dip seed.

Speaker 1 No, we definitely know.

Speaker 2 Let's both say I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Let's both say I'm sorry at the same time.

Speaker 1 Ready? No, because I don't think it's. No, I swear to God.
I got it. No, listen.
Hey, may this forever be a good one. You want to throw in the one for me? Maybe.

Speaker 2 May this be a stain on my character for life if I don't apologize.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. I don't want an apology.
I want you to admit that it was yours.

Speaker 5 You just said no. And no one has.

Speaker 1 You just said no one was.

Speaker 2 And no one apologized.

Speaker 1 And no one has ever dipped by taking one sip of the situation. Siphon that some people will refuse to apologize for

Speaker 1 things that they were very clearly proven wrong about using

Speaker 2 the formula.

Speaker 2 All right, so Catherine. No.

Speaker 1 Listen.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry for saying that you were doubting your formula. Thank you.
But I need you to say that it was actually yours because you're the only one who ever dips.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry for

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 2 You can't do it. I'm sorry for disposing.

Speaker 1 I know you can't. This is a sociopathy that's coming in.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's mine or not.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 1 And that's true, and that's fucking crazy. That's crazy.
We'll never know. Liam and Hank both think that's crazy.

Speaker 2 We'll never know.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I've never seen anyone take that.

Speaker 1 Don't deflect those things. Oh, he knows Tommy.

Speaker 1 Hank actually said that he gets low-key triggered because you take a sip of Mountain Dew. That, I guess, don't trigger.
Yeah, Hank is true. Thank you.
Well, that's just because of the truth.

Speaker 2 Which means that it was his. That's because he was.

Speaker 1 But you know he does that every time. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 But it might not have been his. Right.
But he does that every time. A lot of people.
It could have been someone else in this studio that also does that. Hank's right.

Speaker 1 Out of the two people that sit over there.

Speaker 1 It will forever change our relationship if you never like.

Speaker 1 Hey, you know what? I am the only one

Speaker 1 with that. You're welcome.

Speaker 2 Hey, Hank, I'm sorry for welching out on our bed a couple years ago.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Look at that.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 It took three years.

Speaker 2 You're a man of honor, Hank. Damn.
Thank you. I apologize.
Damn.

Speaker 1 What a day. What a day.
What a way to go into vacation.

Speaker 1 Actually, I feel amazing. So I guess it's good to flash.

Speaker 2 But on the Mountain Dew, I guess we'll never know. No, we'll never know.

Speaker 1 And it's going to bother me forever.

Speaker 2 Three years from now.

Speaker 1 Three years from now, I'll admit to you. I will love that day.
I will love that day as much as Hank loves this day.

Speaker 2 Start the clock right now. Perfect.

Speaker 1 Perfect. We're going to have a great 2020, PAC.
It's going to be a great 2020. I'm going to have a terrible 2020.

Speaker 2 Lockwood Cometer 2020.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I seriously has.
I've had moments where I've been like, does PFT actually think anyone else takes one sip of a Mountain Dew and then dips on?

Speaker 2 I think a lot of guys do. No one.
It's like the Jacksonville

Speaker 1 carpet.

Speaker 2 Every guy has it.

Speaker 1 No one in this office.

Speaker 1 No one. All right.
Back to the Cowboys Eagles.

Speaker 2 That was quite a detour for me. That was a detour.

Speaker 1 That was a big detour.

Speaker 1 What a way to apologize to Hank.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that

Speaker 1 our playoff simulator got us together

Speaker 1 together.

Speaker 2 Yeah, one other thing about...

Speaker 1 Last Christmas present you could have given me.

Speaker 2 That was. Thanks.

Speaker 2 We're simplifying the coin toss in the NFL because of Dak Prescott. He's an idiot.
Snafu. I didn't know it was possible to simplify a coin toss because it's pretty simple thing.

Speaker 1 It's heads and tails. It's heads and tails.
What are the new rules?

Speaker 2 John, no. They're going to simplify it.
They're going to streamline the process.

Speaker 1 Well, apparently it's confusing to some people because. Because

Speaker 1 one of our producers here, John Kelly, came up to me in PFT last week, and I swear to God, he could not understand us explaining

Speaker 1 how deferring works. And he was like, all right, I got it.
And then he left, and no joke, he came back to our desk. 15 minutes later, he's like, wait, one last thing.

Speaker 6 And he had to have us re-explain it.

Speaker 1 But if you play it forward to some people, yeah,

Speaker 2 it's pretty simple stuff, but you could streamline it by just, I think most players are used to playing Madden and doing the kickoffs on Madden.

Speaker 2 So just give them controllers to select what they want and have it just appear on the Jumbotron. And then they have to select like X or press

Speaker 2 B or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 It is very stupid that the word defer is even in like the language here. It should just be whether you receive or you kick and

Speaker 1 then flip the second half.

Speaker 1 But this is one of those things. You need it just so that you can have the stat like Bill Belichick has deferred 75 times in a row.

Speaker 2 It's an idiot test. It's like if you can't figure this out, then you don't deserve to win a coin.

Speaker 1 So why are we saving Dak Prescott? So yeah. That's bullshit.

Speaker 2 So they're going to streamline it. I don't know what they're going to do.
They're going to make it probably just say like kick or receive.

Speaker 5 Although, here's the thing, though.

Speaker 2 If you're the Falcons, you probably want to kick both halves and do the on-side kick both times.

Speaker 1 That's true. Coup.
Coup, coup. He missed the field goal the other day.

Speaker 2 That's fine. He's an on-side specialist.

Speaker 1 That's going to suck if he gets cut because he can't kick the field goals, but he's awesome at everything else.

Speaker 2 Oh, I guarantee you Belichick will pick him up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just for the on-side kick.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Let's do.
Oh, wait. Let me do

Speaker 1 one more quick. Oh, speaking of which, PFT, your favorite.
What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

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Mix it up with some ginger ale for a a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth, but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 1 Oh, one last note from Cowboys Eagles. That Chris Christie Jerry Jones clip was so fucking good because Jerry Jones, the body language of Jerry Jones, here's a lesson to everyone.

Speaker 1 Don't invite Chris Christie into your luxury suite because when your season goes down the toilet, you don't want big hot dog breath breathing down your earlobe, being like, Hey, do you think we should have gone?

Speaker 1 You think we should have like ran a draw on that? And hey, do you think the dessert cart's gonna pass back through here? I really could use some Rice Krispie treats.

Speaker 1 He looked miserable, Jerry Jones looked miserable.

Speaker 2 I mean, Chris Christie has made his entire living the last, what, four years of his life just making billionaires look miserable next to him in suites and press conferences yes that's like his full-time gig right now it was so good so yeah jerry jones uh i'm done with just fire jason garrett just fucking fire him be done with it we're done with it right i don't know okay i don't know as we've discussed he likes he likes knowing that he could fire his coach at any given time oh if you hire a new coach you can't be like that for at least eight weeks it's crazy it's crazy all right Last game that we got, and then we'll do who's back, and we'll send everyone on their break.

Speaker 1 Just a reminder, we'll be back.

Speaker 1 We have our best of 2019 episode on Thursday, and then we'll be back in studio next Sunday to wrap up week 17 and the college football playoffs. Which we have a preview of, though, on Thursday.

Speaker 1 We have a preview on Thursday of that weekend.

Speaker 1 Last game, Cardinals Seahawks.

Speaker 1 This game made no sense. Bret Hundley.

Speaker 1 When Brett Hundley comes in, you're like, okay, Seahawks are going to come come back and Russell Wilson is going to win a classic game.

Speaker 2 Brett Hundley has never done anything in an NFL game that makes me think he can take an offensive snap and not break his leg. And he looks so bad.
Good. But he was good today.

Speaker 1 And now the Seahawks are.

Speaker 1 Should I say the F-word?

Speaker 2 No, I wouldn't say the F-word. They're snake bit.

Speaker 1 They're

Speaker 1 plus 12-point differential. That's so stupid.

Speaker 2 Russell Wilson, MVP.

Speaker 1 I actually think, here's a hot take for you for Seahawks fans. Chris Carson and Rashad Penny getting hurt is actually good because now you can't fuck up in the playoffs by running the ball too much.

Speaker 1 You can actually let Russell Wilson try to win you a playoff game.

Speaker 2 That's true, but you can't establish the run. They also lost ProSice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they're fucked. What do you do?

Speaker 2 I've got an idea.

Speaker 1 Beat the 49ers, which they will because nothing makes sense for the Seahawks team.

Speaker 2 I've got an idea. Yeah.
Marshawn Lynch.

Speaker 1 Ooh, he's very high right now. Yeah.
Somewhere. Great.
Good.

Speaker 2 Bring him back. Marshawn, tell you what, sign Marshawn Lynch and LeGarrett Blunt and just let them get high as fuck.

Speaker 1 Is Marshawn? I can't remember though. I feel like Marshawn Lynch maybe doesn't like Pete Carroll.
There's, you know, like the whole Earl Thomas thing.

Speaker 1 There were some guys who didn't like the front office, didn't like Pete Carroll. Was he part of that?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't know if he was part of that or not, but I think that Marshawn could be talked into going back to Seattle.
It'd be incredible.

Speaker 1 Legal Weed. It'd be incredible.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He can get in game shape by the playoffs.

Speaker 2 Marshawn's a a guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he needs like a week to stretch, and then he'll just run somebody over.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I'm sure the Seahawks will beat the 49ers because nothing makes sense in the NFC West at this point. I feel like

Speaker 1 the Seahawks and the 49ers have been traded spots back and forth of the team that, like, ooh, they're going to be the best team. They're going to be the hardest team to play.

Speaker 1 And unfortunately, the Seahawks...

Speaker 1 losing this game means my doomsday scenario of the Packers somehow getting the number one seed is still very much a lot.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's one step closer. Now, fuck, the Seahawks also didn't start a lot of good defensive players today.

Speaker 1 But they still laid an egg on offense. They did.
Like they were not good.

Speaker 1 And they should have beaten Brett Hundley. So it's still like a 20-13 game, I think, with 10 minutes left, and Brett Hundley was the quarterback.

Speaker 2 So I'm consulting my playoff scenario right here to figure out exactly what happens to get the Packers homefield advantage next week.

Speaker 1 I think it's just the Seahawks winning against the 49ers and the Packers winning out.

Speaker 2 If the Seahawks win against the 49ers and the Packers beat the Lions, which will happen. And the Vikings.

Speaker 2 So he's going to have to beat the Vikings, the Lions, and the Refs

Speaker 2 on week 17. And if that happens,

Speaker 2 then they're the one seed overall. Yes.
And the road to the Super Bowl goes through Lambeau.

Speaker 1 It's very much a possibility now.

Speaker 1 And they're not good, but it's a possibility. Chandler Jones should be Conversation Defensive Player of the Year.
He has 19 sacks in four today.

Speaker 2 Four sacks today.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And two force fumbles.

Speaker 2 So what is his deal? He seems like he's been really, really good in Arizona for a long time, but

Speaker 2 he doesn't get talked about in the same light as like a really shitty team. Yeah, just really shitty teams, I guess.

Speaker 1 That's really what it is. Yeah, in Arizona.
I mean, there's worse things to be than an awesome NFL player in Arizona.

Speaker 2 You're Scott Steele.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Be a millionaire, young.

Speaker 1 It's not the best, but it's not the worst. Was he the K2 guy? Yes, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I got you. I got you.
Yeah. Yeah.
You got you. They shipped him out.
You got it. Yeah.
You got it. Little Henry Hill.

Speaker 1 You got it. All right, PFT, you want to do the last two ads and then we'll do a who's back of the week?

Speaker 2 Of course, yeah. I want to talk to you guys about our good friends over at NHTSA.
That's right. Everyone knows about the risks of driving drunk.
You could get into a crash. People could get hurt.

Speaker 2 People could get killed. But it still doesn't stop everyone.
So this 2019 holiday season, drive sober or you're going to get pulled over. You could get arrested.
You could incur huge legal expenses.

Speaker 2 And you could possibly even lose your job. We all know the consequences of driving drunk, but one thing's for sure, you're wrong if you think that it's not a big deal.
Drive sober or get pulled over.

Speaker 2 This holiday season, NHTSA wants you to remember to plan ahead. If you're celebrating, if you plan to drink, plan for a sober driver to take you home.
Easiest thing in the world to do.

Speaker 2 You've got all these apps out there. You've got friends.
You've got family that can help you. There's no excuse to get behind the wheel if you've been drinking, not even just one drink, okay?

Speaker 2 Drive sober or you're going to get pulled over.

Speaker 2 With NHTSA, with NHTSA's support, state and local law enforcement agencies across the nation are stepping up enforcement to put an end to drunk driving, showing zero tolerance to save lives.

Speaker 2 No excuse, guys. Have a good time.
Part of your dicks off this holiday season, but make sure that you have a sober ride. Don't get behind the wheel of a car and drive.
I want you to just know

Speaker 2 if you start to do that, if you feel like you're going to do that, PFT is pissed off at you.

Speaker 1 Okay?

Speaker 2 I'm going to judge you. Don't do it.
Don't drive drunk. Drive sober or get pulled over.

Speaker 8 The Who's Back of the Week is also going to be brought to you by the Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.

Speaker 8 Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck. Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready.

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Speaker 1 All right, so there's a clip that's going around on Twitter that I should probably address.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes running off the field after a touchdown counted to 10 to let the Bears know where he landed in the draft. Okay.
And I'm getting tagged on it.

Speaker 2 So are you addressing it right now?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Considered addressed. It sucks.

Speaker 1 So that was a little salt in the wound. Fun times.
Fun times. Fun time.
Patrick Mahomes. He seems good.
He seems like he's going to be good for a while.

Speaker 5 He might be.

Speaker 1 He might be a franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do who's back of the week.
Hank. Who's back of the week? You want to go? No.
You sure? Yeah. You sure? Yes.
All right.

Speaker 1 Who's back of the week is people that somehow keep their fantasy season going along until week 17. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes. You're a psycho.
Crazy. You're a psycho if you do it.
Although, I would imagine that week 17 daily fantasy is pretty fun because of all the chaos.

Speaker 2 Like, you really have no idea who's going to go off in week 17.

Speaker 1 Right, right. It's

Speaker 1 maybe we should do a one-day fantasy league. Okay.
No, I was just saying that because you said that was going to be a who's back the week. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 My real who's back of the week of the week of the game. Oh, that does suck, though.
The people who complain about that. And you're like, that's 100% your fault.
Yep.

Speaker 1 My real who's back of the week is Taco.

Speaker 1 Taco Fall has played in the last two Celtics games. Today, he was getting MVP chance.
And I know you football guys

Speaker 1 might not have been paying attention. You probably scoff and say, MVP, MVP.
Here's some stats for you guys.

Speaker 2 What's his player efficiency rating?

Speaker 1 Your NBA scoring leader

Speaker 1 per 48 minutes. Guess who's number one? Taco.
Taco, James Harden, Giannis, Luca, in that order. Averaging 58 points per 48 minutes.
Wow. 58 points per game? Per 48 minutes.

Speaker 1 How many points has he scored? He has played 11 minutes so far

Speaker 1 this season

Speaker 1 in those three games.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's incredible.
But we're not talking about that. We're just talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That clip was awesome, though.

Speaker 1 When the crowd was like cheering for him and Brad Stevens made the crowd go a little louder. That was a cool clip.

Speaker 1 It's a crazy thing where it's like,

Speaker 1 for whatever reason, just because he's so tall, people get so, so fired up. Like legitimate playoff atmosphere in a 30-point blow.
I mean, he's hilarious. Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 It's just one giant player right there on the playground. It's just, it's a fascinating.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a tale as old as time, but it's just fascinating how, like, just because he's so tall, he creates that type of reaction.

Speaker 2 Have you seen that vine of him with the shorter kid that was a little more portly? Turns out the kid.

Speaker 1 That was Letario. Yeah.
No, that was Zion.

Speaker 5 That was a different kid.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The kid in that clip was actually like 6'6 and 310 pounds. So, yeah, it was Zion.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was Zion. Bust.

Speaker 2 Is that it, Hank? Yeah, that was it. Good job.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Very good job.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, thanks, Hank. My Who's Back of the Week is Cats.
Yes. So the Cats movie came out this weekend, and it did a whopping $2 million in receipts on Friday night and Saturday, I think.
Holy shit.

Speaker 2 And I think it cost like $200 million to produce. Wow.
And there were scenes in the movie that weren't done. They weren't fully edited yet.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 So there's one scene where Judy Dinch's...

Speaker 1 This is the most relatable shit I've ever heard. Yeah.
They were sending...

Speaker 1 The studio was sending them... Like, if you saw the movie on Premiere Night, you saw one version, and the studio was sending, like, all right, now play this version, play this version.

Speaker 1 Because they were, like, actively updating shit. Yeah,

Speaker 2 they were sending patches. They're like security updates to the movie.
You could see Judy Ditch's like real hand and her watch and her wedding ring

Speaker 1 in certain scenes.

Speaker 2 And now, well, I'm a little bit woke because it is getting people talking about the movie Katz because we probably wouldn't be talking about it at all if it wasn't a massive fuck-up.

Speaker 2 And now what they're doing is they're taking the movie back. They're re-editing certain scenes and sending an entirely new version out next week.

Speaker 2 So now the people that already saw it are going to want to go back and see it again, double-dipping like when when we fuck up recording an episode and we have to add in I Love You Guys at the end because it got cut off too soon when we were editing the prostate.

Speaker 1 PFT, I thought, come on. Dude.
But when you re-upload it,

Speaker 1 when you re-upload Hank

Speaker 1 2020 lasted almost

Speaker 1 until December 2020.

Speaker 2 Don't get it between us.

Speaker 2 That's what Hank and I do is we bust each other's balls because we know we can take it.

Speaker 2 So yeah, I'm very woke on the cats updates. My other Who's Back of the Week.

Speaker 1 Did you see one more Sabre metrics? It was like

Speaker 1 there was a movie Dogs that had

Speaker 1 a movie Dogs that had like 94% raw and tomatoes. The movie Cats had 17% raw and tomatoes.
And then the movie Cats and Dogs had 54%

Speaker 1 raw and tomatoes. Yeah, pretty good.

Speaker 2 Woofers over Kittes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 my other Who's Back of the Week is saying Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 What is it? 94.

Speaker 2 We're saying Merry Christmas again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it does. Everyone saw a tweet.
94. And we're so glad that it's back.

Speaker 2 17 divided by two.

Speaker 1 Oh, so Merry Christmas. I see what what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, Big Cat. What's your who's back of the week?

Speaker 1 My who's back is assholes who debate whether Die Hard's a Christmas movie.

Speaker 6 It's true. Fuck those people.

Speaker 1 Trey.

Speaker 1 It is the lamest thing. This is crazy.
This is our... We're talking about TV, Time of the Night.
Usually,

Speaker 1 American Ninja Warriors. He's at it.
No, so usually it's either Johnny Bananas' show, and then it's Ninja Warriors. Johnny Bananas is competing on Ninja Wars.

Speaker 2 Ninja Warriors. The most ambitious crossover.

Speaker 6 This really means that we've been doing this for too long.

Speaker 1 This is incredible.

Speaker 2 We've reached part of my take singularity.

Speaker 1 And here's Rhea doing the train again.

Speaker 1 This is, yeah, we're at that point of night. Yeah, so diehard, don't debate that.
You're a cop if you do that.

Speaker 1 And you know that everyone's going to start doing it because they think it's funny to start talking about it. It's

Speaker 1 fuck. I feel like it's the thing where everyone who is filling in for a radio show this week across America, that's number one.
They're like, all right, what do you think we should do?

Speaker 1 Week 17 preview,

Speaker 1 maybe favorite gift you ever got on Christmas, and is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's bad.

Speaker 2 It's reached a point where it's

Speaker 2 in five years, you can do it ironically. And it'll be funny, but right now you just got to lay low.

Speaker 2 Just banish it from your brain for the next at least four Christmases. Also, who's back is Frosty's.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Frosties are back big time.

Speaker 1 That club was hilarious.

Speaker 2 I don't want to say I'm on the guy that won the Frosty's side, but I understand where he's coming from.

Speaker 2 A free Frosties is a wonderful treat. It's a great treat.

Speaker 1 All right. That's our show.
We'll see everyone on Thursday for the best of, and then again on Monday for week 17. Merry Christmas.

Speaker 2 Happy Hanukkah. I told you we're saying it again.

Speaker 1 We're saying it again. And we'll see you before 2020.
So this isn't goodbye till the next decade. We will make that joke on Monday.

Speaker 2 We'll see you next week. Yeah.
Love you guys.

Speaker 2 I don't know what

Speaker 2 to say. I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 2 But today is another place I find you shy away.

Speaker 2 I'll become a word of game.

Speaker 2 Suddenly needless to say

Speaker 2 I'm upset in some

Speaker 2 beats to a little way.

Speaker 2 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 2 Stay up to me

Speaker 2 It's for better to say than sorry

Speaker 2 Whose dip spit do you really think it was? Seriously, like, all shtick aside, it's

Speaker 2 it wasn't mine, right?

Speaker 1 I mean, the fact that you wanted it is like crazy.

Speaker 2 Of course it was mine.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing it. I'm not, of course you're all, but you weren't doing shtick.
You actually were denying it.

Speaker 5 No, of course I am.

Speaker 1 Who else would it be?