NFL Week 16 Fastest 2 Minutes And Recap, The Cowboys Died And Jameis Thrived

hey pardon my take listeners you can find every episode on apple podcast spotify or youtube prime members can listen ad free on amazon music on today's part of my take week 16 that's actually scary to say out loud week 16 that is it's week 16 folks yeah fantasy season's over it's unless you're one of those fucking weirdos. Yeah.
You are. We'll talk about it.
You're actually insane. Hank, bring that up on the other side of, on the regular show, how stupid people are who do week 17.
That'll be my who's back week. All right.
We have week 16. We're going to recap every game.
It's Saturday football. Great Saturday football.
Sunday football. Madness.
Some of the best games were some of the worst games. Some of the worst games were some of the best games.
It was back and forth. The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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Okay, let's go. Hey! We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Pardon My Take presented by Fox News. Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by the Cash App.
Remember it is Bad Beats Monday. Use the hashtag Bad Beats Monday and tweet your cash tag to at, pardon my take, and at Cash App.
And they will hook up some of you out there who've had bad beats. Today is Monday, December 23rd, week 16.
Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! End of the season here, Teach. It's been a great one, Boom.
We start in a battle for the AFC East where Sean McDermott the Frog and the Buffalo Bills have been sipping tea all season long looking for respect. Tom Braby Yoda hooked up with Julian Edelmeem

as the Patriots did the 10-year challenge, winning the AFC East every single year from 2009 to 2019. In a tribute to the return of Jackass, Johnny Dawson Knoxville kept the game close at the end of the first half, only to have the Bills wagon look more like a shopping cart crashed into a building to end the game.
Patriots 24, Bills 17. WHIP WHIP

Pfff

OU More like a shopping cart Crash into a building to end the game Patriots 24 Bills 17

Out at the big bell bottom

Where George Kiddler on the roof

Was playing matchmaker

And he's a much better fit with Jimmy Garoppolo

Than Kiara Mia

The game came down to a big catch

From Emmanuel Bernie Sanders

Who is robbing gold from the wrench

And redistributing to the poor

As the kicker hit the game winner

And Errol Donald Trump

And the Rams season is fired Thank you. while Bernie Sanders, who is robbing gold from the rents and redistributing it to the poor as the kicker hit the game winner

and Errol Donald Trump and the Rams season is fired.

Foy it.

49 or 34.

The Rams 31.

In Cleveland, where Freddie got fingered,

Kitchen said, my bum is on the playbook.

My bum is on the playbook.

Look at me.

My bum is on the playbook.

After a slow start to the game,

the Ravens offense featuring Marky Mark Ingram took it to the Browns. Head bawdy, head bawdy all afternoon.
Posh Spice, a.k.a. Victoria Odell Beckham, wants out of the band as the 2019 Browns turned out to be wannabes yet again.
Ravens 31, Browns 15. If you want to be my lover You gotta get with my friends I wanna I wanna

I wanna

I wanna

Friendships never end

Up to the Meadowlands

Where Mason Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Had some very shit he throws

And if you ever saw him

You would even say he blows

Le'Veon Jingle Bells was laughing all the way

To a revenge win over his former team

While James Conor McGregor

Got mad as the Jets kept taking shots

At Jamison Irish Whiskey Crowder instead of Proper 12. And Scrooge McDuck Hodges never did like this time of year at the Steelers maybe getting coal in their walking boots once again come week 17.
Jets 16, the Steelers 10. in our nation's capital where Adrian All-Business Peterson isn't going to be winning Father of the Year anytime soon, but did end up fourth all-time in the running back touchdown list.
Raekwon Barkley emptied all 36 chambers accounting for two touchdowns and propelling the G-Men to a win, angering old dirty bastard Archie Manning. It's almost the offseason in D.C., which means Terry McLaurin, Conrad, and the Redskins are ready for drama with hirings and firings near the Capitol Hills.
Giants 41, Redskins 35. The New York football Giants.
In the music city where the Saints quarterback tandem channeled their inner Drew Hill as Breeze and Taysom asked, how deep is your love? Michael Thomas should enter witness protection as he won't be getting his car washed anytime soon, passing Marvin Harrison's all-time season receptionist record. It all comes down to one last stand in Week 17 for saving Private Ryan Tannehill and the Ragtime Titans.
Saints, 38. Go marching.
Titans, 28. Standing on the corner of the gym is Winston, Tampa, Florida.
Such a fine sight to see. It's a pick, my lord.
It's a pick, my lord.

It's a pick and a pick.

That's four I and T's.

Jameis Winston.

It's never ending.

And after this season, you're getting an extension. Bucks 23.
No, Texans 23. Bucks 20.
What? In Philadelphia, where it was only a whence. It was only a whence.
Open up your eagle eyes, because I'm Mr. A-thig-a-whiteside.
Randall, do your cob, and the Cowboys didn't do enough advanced scouting as Dallas came out flat in a must-win game. Jerry Jones won't be experiencing any glory tonight, as all the holes were eaten by Chris Christie Cream in the owner's box.
But that won't stop him from grabbing a breast and a thigh in a touching tribute to Miles Colonel Sanders. Eagles 17, Cowboys 9.
Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! We finish in the Pacific Northwest where George Brett Hundley didn't shit himself in relief of Kyler Murray. Kenyon, all gas, no drinks, had a huge game on the ground, and Mayor Pete Carroll is going to have to retreat to his wine cave to deal with this loss.
Chandler Bing Jones was no friend to Ross Geller Wilson as no one told him life was going to be this way. Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach.
Cardinals 27. Seahawks 13.
Alright, week 16. We have one more game, Monday Night Football, the last Monday Night Football game of the year,

but we had Week 16.

Go ahead, Hank.

What was the butthole Freddy Kitchen thing?

My bum is on the playbook.

Tom Green?

Freddy got fingered kitchens.

Daddy, would you like something?

Damn, you don't know Tom Green, the genius of Tom Green.

I don't.

Tom Green revolutionized comedy as we know it

by just getting kicked out of places.

That was basically what he did.

Making lesbian statues and putting it in front of his parents' lawn. Oh, yeah.
He would make statues of his parents having sex with each other. He was the original.
I'm going to know Tom Green exclusively from Eminem songs. Oh, yeah.
He was the original. I'm going to fuck with my parents and film it.
And that will be hilarious. And it was hilarious.
It was great. He was the Canadian Bam Margera.
Yeah. So week 16 in the books except for Monday Night Football coming up.
So I guess we have to start with the last game like we always do. That was torture.
The Chiefs and the Bears. They showed about 800 comparisons of Patrick Mahomes and Mitchell Trubisky.
That was torture. They showed a million comparisons.
The Bears were absolutely terrible. Mitch Trubisky was terrible.
He did outrush Patrick Mahomes, put that on the record books. That's true.
Patrick Mahomes was awesome as always and just effortlessly amazing. They had a double doink, which I don't know why, but the booth just had it ready on command, the replay of the a double doink which i don't know why but the booth just had it ready on command the replay of the actual double doink so they played that and then to top it all off in a game that the bears came out completely flat gave up ready to go to cabo and hang out and have the offseason mitch trubisky checked down on a fourth and 23 mm-hmm fourth and 23 that's my issue with Mitchell Trubisky is that a lot of times he's not even fun bad.
He's just kind of boring bad. And he'll air it out.
The worst thing that Mitchell did tonight was, yeah, the check down, and then he would overthrow his receivers by like three and a half yards. If you're going to be bad, at least make it entertaining for me.
Oh, I forgot thing as well uh chris collinsworth was like

you know when i was watching the tape this guy mitch trubisky he kind of looks like patrick

mahomes sometimes and then he did a highlight package where he's like see they're basically

the same guy well he said if you take all of mitch's best throws that he's ever made fuck

he kind of looks like patrick mahomes so i was dreading this i this is why i was i was so upset

that it wasn't flexed out we had the signs and everyone you know coulda there was some woman

And so... Fuck.
He kind of looks like Patrick Mahomes. So I was dreading this.
This is why I was so upset that it wasn't flexed out. We had the signs and everyone, you know, could have.
There was some woman sitting there like, could have had Mahomes. Thanks.
Didn't need the reminder. There was a Bears fan, which I actually find funny.
I'm sure some people will hate it, who is wearing a Bears Mahomes jersey. I think that's just like, you know, fuck it.
Let's just, we already know we suck and we know this is painful to watch just lean all the way into it and buy a bears mahomes a bears mahomes watson combo jersey would be great yeah okay there's also a guy wearing full bear regalia dressed up he always like a bear but he also had uh christmas lights yeah so he's like a very a very festive bear which was nice so the game sucked want to give a shout a shout-out to Collinsworth for wearing. He was dressed up in some sort of high turtleneck tonight, looking like a creepy college professor.
When did we decide as a society that we were going to allow our tandem booths to not wear a suit and a tie in primetime games? It was Troy Aikman. And also the turtleneck has made a huge comeback.
I think that's – gonna I'm gonna give him this Steve Jobs no I'm gonna give him this moment and he's probably gonna cut this up and tweet it and do a victory lap on Twitter but Danny Cannell was wearing a turtleneck very you know provocateur uh when he was with ESPN but I've seen it more and more often recently uh I think Dion had one on Saturday night it's it's a look that's hard to pull off when you're not joking. But few people can.
And Dion did. I don't know if Collinsworth did.
It's the non-circumcised sweater that's making a comeback. Yeah.
Michael Irvin was wearing some sort of swaggy combo, too, on Saturday. I think you have to have a certain amount of swag or be completely joking about it.
One or the other. Otherwise, you're stuck in that no man's like is this guy fucking serious or you have to have like a fraudulent silicon valley company yeah and then you can elizabeth holmes can absolutely pull it off but when you wear a turtleneck and you walk in like people will look at you actually i guess december is the only month where it can really play but for the most most time like if you walk into a room with a turtleneck and you're not joking, everyone will look at you and be like, is this guy for real? He's kind of an asshole.
You have asshole vibes when you wear a turtleneck unironically. Yes, absolutely.
On the game itself, one thing that we're not talking that much about. Laugh it up, Hank.
Is the Chiefs' defense is really, really good this year. They've turned a corner.
I think just having Tyra and Matthew on your defense gives it kind of a little bit of legitimacy. It doesn't matter how bad the rest of your defense is.
If I see that Tyra is on your team, I'm like, you guys can turn the ball over. You guys can score points.
They have pass rushers. They have a bite to them that they didn't have last year.
I still don't trust them. They're not going to go and just stop another team for four quarters.
This is the Bears offense, mind you. They lead the league in punts and all other terrible categories that you can come up with.
A punt's not a bad thing, though. But you are right that the Chiefs' defense has bite this year where last year they didn't.
I mean, you remember the AFC Championship game where the Patriots just basically ran the same play to Julian Edelman over the middle, and it worked every single time. This year, it doesn't feel like you can do exactly that.
I still, and we're going to get to the Patriots beating the Bills, the fact that the Chiefs don't get the bye, it's so fucking hard to win three games. It's going to be tough.
When was the last time a team won a wild card team,

a team that played on wild card weekend?

I can't remember.

Was it the Ravens?

Maybe.

Who just got to the Super Bowl?

Did the Eagles?

The Eagles?

No.

The Eagles when they went to the Super Bowl?

Yeah, I think so.

They didn't have a bye, did they?

They played the Vikings?

Yeah.

And they played the Falcons. Falcons, yeah.
I can't remember if they had a buy or not. I'm just going to make a prediction right now.
Look at that. Check it.
Steve Spagnuolo or Spagnuolo. How do you pronounce his last name? Spagnuolo.
Spagnuolo. He's going to get he's going to be interviewed by a lot of teams this offseason as a head coach.
It's been enough time. Yeah, it's been enough time where people forgot that he's not a good head coach no there's and he's going to end up going to like one of the teams that is like a redskins a team that nobody really wants to coach so they're going to have to settle for the third or fourth uh choice i think he's actually going to be a head coach next year here's the what he's got going for him he was coaching the st louis rams they're not they don't exist anymore right so it really feels like it was a way, way long ago thing.
You know? Like you can't even – because if you had a team that he coached still playing in the same stadium in the same city, you'd be like, oh, I can see that. I can't even see it.
Can't even see it. He's like Jim Schwartz except he doesn't have the nipples Schwartz has, but he's got more triangular pectoral.
He's got triangular boobs. He looks good in a polo shirt is what I'm getting at.
He looks like he could still kick somebody's ass. So there will be an owner out there that thinks that he's youthful enough to come in and be a head coach of a franchise.
The Eagles did have a bye in 2017. The last team to do it was the 2012 Baltimore Ravens.
So there you go. So that's a very long time, it feels like.
You need an elite quarterback to be able to do that. It's very hard to win three games, so I just don't, as much as I think the Chiefs have been the forgotten team, because the story's been the Ravens and talking about the Patriots, because everyone always talks about the Patriots, like the Chiefs are a little forgotten, but, man, winning three games, eesh.
Yeah. I don't know.
It's going to be tough. I don't know.
I agree. I think they are forgotten.
I think that the Chiefs are better when they're not the focus, when they're kind of, like, under the radar a little bit. As good as they are, it's strange that they're under the radar.
Well, they've been under the radar except for last year because Patrick Mahomes brought them over the radar. Right.
Above the radar. Right.
Through the radar. Andy Reid.
This was actually a perfect day for Andy Reid. It was the shortest day of the year.
The shortest football day of the year. Yep.
So there's less clock for him to mismanage. True.
Cybermetrically. Andy is coaching really, really well recently.
Do you think anybody started Matt Moore on their fantasy team and lost because he got negative two points? No. Negative point two points? Definitely not.
On the kneel down at the end of the game? Definitely not. Definitely did not.
No. If you're out there and you started Matt Moore.
You don't exist. You're lying.
You're lying. Send us your best Photoshop of you starting Matt Moore on your fantasy team.
All right. Let's do the Saturday game so we'll work back in time.
Texans. Boner Saturday.
Yeah. Texans, Bucs, Jameis.
I thought next weekend was Boner Sunday. You can't just do Boners on every weekend.
I said this was Boner Saturday. But then you tweeted next weekend's Boner Sunday You can't just do Boners on every weekend I said this was Boner Saturday But then you tweeted next weekend's Boner Sunday Yeah, but I said last week that this was Boner Saturday Right Because of the matchups But then what's next week? Erection Sunday Okay You can't throw Boners on it We can't I mean, not all of us It's semi-Sunday We're not fucking teenagers, dude You know We know.
We're in our 30s. Morningwood Sunday.
Mid-30s. Texans, Bucs.
It was a bonus Saturday. It was.
It was. Jameis.
Ah, man. He is so awesome.
He had a pick six before anyone even sat down. Literally before anyone sat down.
I turned the TV on. It was 7-0.
It was so fucking funny. And let's at least say this.
So he has now tied the record for most pick sixes in a season with six. Who do you think he's tied with? Vinny Testaverde.
Nope. Peyton Manning.
Hall of Famer. There we go.
So there we go. Even when he fucks up, he's still in conversation with Hall of Famers.
Four four interceptions it was awesome credit to jamis one of one uh who predicted this to a t he was like without mike evans and godwin jamis will not care and we'll be throwing it up for a lot of interceptions a lot of yards and that's exactly what happened i also like how bill o'brien enjoys jamis winston just as much as all of us do because he kept fucking up the clock management at the end of the game to give Jameis opportunities to throw more picks. It was like Bill O'Brien was calling for an encore at the end of a tremendous musical performance by Jameis.
I want Jameis Winston to be all-time quarterback next Thanksgiving for all three games. So just fly him.
Maybe we have to space him out a little bit more more but fly him from stadium to stadium and let us watch jamis winston play quarterback for uh whatever it would be 12 12 hours on thanksgiving day because he is that entertaining and he still ended up with like over 300 yards he still makes big plays to get them back in it i actually feel feel like as much as the Texans won this game, they lost. You got five turnovers, four interceptions, and you only could win by three.
Yeah. No, the Bucs were up 17-17 at halftime.
Yes. After that first half.
They were dominating 17-17. They were.
It was a blowout 17-17. Here's something crazy.
The Texans have now won four out of the last five AFC South titles. That doesn't really feel like that's true.
No. Because they take that and they do diddly-poo.
It's a dynasty. The Texans technically have a dynasty over the AFC South.
To quote Jim Mora, it's diddly-poo. It's diddly-poo.
It is. And do you think texans have any ability to win more than one playoff game this year i would say one's pushing it one is pushing it that's how like toothless i feel like they are jay jay's awesome jay might be coming back though they are keeping that spot open jay is he's been very active on twitter recently too have you noticed that yes yeah i think might be he's ready the pains.
He's ready to go. Jameis was almost the leading passer for both teams.
Yep. So he threw that pick six.
And then the second one. It was so close.
That should have been a pick six. It should have been.
Just give it to him. He's like, he moves fast and he breaks stuff.
Yes. And that's what you have to love about Jameis Winston.
He had a broken thumb. Yeah, he's got a broken thumb.
So I read that he wasn wasn't able to shake the commentators hands before the game or during their sit-down session that they had on Thursday or whatever the production meeting Jameis wasn't able to give them a firm handshake yeah so right off the start so is that why Rich Eisen kept on screwing up the name that's why I kept calling him Watson now credit to Rich Eisen for at least acknowledging it at halftime because oh man man, he did that like a dozen times in the first half. The Winston-Watson thing.
And then the one difficult part for him, and it would have been difficult for anyone, the fact that there was a Watson that Winston was throwing to. That got very confusing.
Yeah, well, this was a big week for very obscure tight ends, passes. Just around the league, if you look across the board, there are so many players that I had no idea even existed until week 16 that are stepping up after injuries.
The Bucs were starting. I think they had three players yesterday that had never played in the NFL.
They just threw them out there. And so, again, even though they lost, they kind of of won like the Texans are such a joke sometimes where they'll beat good teams and they'll have these statement wins and then they'll barely be able to beat a Bucks team that was essentially trying to lose with the way that Jameis Winston was playing and we didn't even we didn't even mention the fact that Jameis Winston before the game got a vote of confidence and is going to get a contract extension, which I'm actually, and I will never say this to Stephen Chase's face, I'm jealous of Bucs fans because Jameis Winston's that much fun.
Yeah, he is extremely fun to watch. And they say that money makes you more of what you were before you got the money.
So Jameis is going to get an extension, and then he's going to throw eight interceptions again. Yes,'s going to splurge he's going to treat himself he is uh this year four and two in his games where he throws uh game opening interceptions it's great it's great yeah it's great he's six games you know what he's on the first drive he's throwing intercepts he's like when uh you know maybe you start a new gambling week and you're like listen i'm good i got all this credit i'm good to go i'm just gonna i'm gonna fucking fire on everything that's how he starts every game he's like we got 60 minutes if i throw a pick to start the game i it's fine i got 59 more yesterday literally like 59 30 left to fix that so i kind of like how he lives fast and loose that's very relatable yes it's like when you have on payday you're going to spend frivolously that's what jamis winston does to start every game he passes frivolously yeah he's just like oh fuck a new pair of jordans hell yeah yeah right to the linebacker i'll worry about saving after we're in like minute 57 he doesn't care the only other thing i wanted to note from this game i wish that will fullerer played for the Philadelphia Eagles or the New York Giants because the sports radio calls about his constant injuries would be incredible.
He is injured every single game, and it's always a hamstring or a groin. Soft tissue.
Soft tissue. But I need a 450-pound Philadelphian calling in to Big Ant and saying, you know, listen, Will Fuller, I did yoga last.
My wife took me to this hot yoga place, and I've been fine ever since. Why the fuck doesn't he do that? Like I need those type of calls in my life.
Will Fuller is just always injured, and I think Houston fans, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe someone can clue me in, but I need Houston fans to show their anger a little more are they a little bit soft is that what you're saying soft tissue soft tissue yeah i mean the texans just overall have a bad history of bad injury luck and i haven't heard much on a national scale about usually you you start to drum up something about like you need to fire the entire training staff right that whole thing brian cushing's on the training staff oh there you go andre johnson every time i see him on the sideline i'm like when is he getting in well he was also a hamstring i don't know why he isn't this goes back to arian foster now when arian foster was on the team you definitely had people because he was owned across like he was a big fantasy player right you had a lot of takes nationwide about like oh is he's a vegan that's why he keeps keeps pulling his hamstring.
It is crazy, though, how different their offense is when Will Fuller's healthy. And now you won the AFC South.
You have nothing to play for next week, so you might as well just shut everyone down. This is going to be an interesting—I guess—I don't know.
They can't see the Titans again if they lose to the Titans and the Titans get in, but do you play anyone? Why would you? I think Bill O'Brien will play everyone. It's so stupid.
Because he's a dumbbo. He'll get Deshaun Watson.
He's a big dummy. All right, next game, Bill's Patriots.
Hank, credit to you for never fully taking out the panic button because if you are a Patriots fan, this game was reassuring in the fact that it's like the Patriots offense now is what you expect it to to have become and it's run the ball and Tom Brady like that was a classic Tom Brady performance you could tell in when Tom Brady you can tell a few times a year he has that like extra fired up look to him you could tell almost right away he was running the ball he looked fired. He tried to juke someone with his shoulders and got smoked.
He threw one of the blocks of the year. He became an honorary fullback.
Do you think that's because he was upset that he wasn't voted to the Pro Bowl, so he's trying to make it as a fullback now? I think we should give him a low man vote next year. Yeah, I mean, it was a shockingly good block by Tom Brady.
That was locked in Tom Brady, and he was very, very good. And I have a stat for you, Hank.
Please. Sonny Michel, when he goes over 60 yards, the Patriots are 17-0.
Wow. Interesting.
That's pretty crazy. That's one of those supercomputer math equations that Bill Belichick won't listen to, though.
Yeah, so he clearly, if the Patriots can run the ball, they're a completely different team, and everything works together, even though the Bills were in this game. They were...
Josh Allen was balling. He was balling.
You talk about Tom Brady having a little extra fire in his runs. Josh Allen had that, for sure, especially in the first half.
Josh Allen had about five plays that just made me wiggle, get amped up watching this this game it's like these two teams actually don't like each other very much yeah and you can see that it's kind of cool to see the Patriots get involved in a divisional rivalry in a division that's been so weak that they haven't really had to worry about that for the last what 15 years it was kind of similar to the Bucks game where it was like the the Bills tied it up right at the halftime yes Patri though the Patriots completely dominated. I was a little worried going into half.
I felt like we just completely dominated, did exactly what we wanted to do. But going into halftime, tied up.
Who knew it was going to happen? And the Bills, they're for real. They're going to obviously be in the playoffs.
I do think there's an element of emotional, not emotional letdown, but they've played a lot of big games. We've joked about it, how every big win the Bills have had have been the biggest win in the last decade.
But the big win on Thanksgiving, they hosted the Ravens, they won Sunday Night Football against the Steelers, which was a huge, huge win first time in a decade there plus. They were on Sunday Night Football.
Then they have to go play for the AFC East in Foxborough. So I feel like this is one of those games if you're a Bills fan, you walk away and you're like, you know what? It sucks that they lost, but they went toe-to-toe, and you take them pretty much with anyone, although they're rush defenses.
You got the question mark there. Right, but on those same lines of it being a huge game for them and having they've played in so many of those big games, I actually think that playing on the road in Houston in the playoffs would not be as big.
It's going to be a sleepwalk. It wouldn't feel as big of a game as this last one was on Saturday.
And by the way, to the producers of Saturday football on the NFL Network, please give me my Thursday night football Saturday edition graphic back. Wait, why did Tariqo get to call this game? Because Italian Mike does what Italian Mike wants.
I was confused by that. He's got seven different types of fish he has to worry about burning off later on.
I just assumed his contract was up and he moved to NFL Network. Like last week? Or I don't know.
Yeah.

I thought that too.

I was like, wait a second.

Mike Tirico is with NFL Network. I was confused as well.

But it is.

That's, I guess, when you're full baller status.

When you're like, yeah, I want to do this game.

Okay.

I'm sure they have some deal.

They needed three crews.

Right.

So they kind of picked and choose.

I'm sure.

That's why we had Rich Eyes and Winston Watson.

Yeah.

I do like the goofy booth, though.

They had like five people in that booth. Yeah.
Joe Thomas was good. I like the ones that they bring in that aren't used to calling games.
Right. Because you get a little bit of that, you know, the spiciness.
You mix up the starting quarterback's name seven times. Yeah.
You don't get that normally. It's different.
Kurt Warner trying to say that it was a penalty and the other, Tariko trying to be like, well, no, like the NFL, like actually that's not like he was just was just trying to curb him off like kurt was taking the offensive side and he was like no no no well kurt my partner disagrees with you but this is actually the right call it's like watching a porn where the two people like the first time they've they've done it together can't relate yeah i don't watch porn yeah i live it triana trump trump nope nope don't know who that is uh this was also a big julianelman game where he got his head knocked around and then got better afterwards. Yeah.
He's dead. He plays better when he's trying to convince, when he's mad at the doctors on the sideline who keep trying to get him in a tent.
He's like, no, just send me back out on the field. But he played really well.
The offense does look better. It's still, I think the, it calms, I would say, right, Hank, like the panic button, you put it back underneath the tree out in the backyard, right? Yes, there was never concerns about the defense, but the offense was the big concern, and they looked great.
They got Nikhil Harry more involved. Edelman looked great.
So, yes. And more than anything, it's what we just talked about with the bye with the Chiefs.
Like the bye is so, so life-changing when it comes to the playoffs. There's something different, too, about...
And Lamar Jackson stunk last year against the Chargers, so who knows? That could happen again. Yeah, okay.
I'm just saying. You can only go by last year's playoffs, right? That's true.
In Foxborough, when you exhale in December, it looks different on TV than when you exhale in Kansas City or any other cold place. You know what I'm saying? I'd say Lambeau looks different.
Yeah, Lambeau does look different. I can definitely tell the difference between a Lambeau breath and a Foxborough breath under the lights in primetime in December.
And there's something intimidating about seeing the entire stands in Foxborough. It looks like they're all vaping.
Just giant clouds coming out of there. All right.

Next up, we have Rams 49ers.

By the way, if you want to watch us, we're on BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.

BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.

So the Rams season is done.

The Super Bowl hangover curse is back.

I feel like we haven't had that discussion in a couple years.

So that is officially back.

I mean, Jared Goff played well.

He had that one mistake to pick six, but I feel like the Rams had a really good game plan against the 49ers defense.

The 49ers defense was unbelievable to start the season.

Now they've played so many good teams, so they came back down to earth.

But I'm also walking away from that game, even though the 49ers won, do i feel really good about the 49ers i don't know i don't i don't know the parts that i used to feel good about with the 49ers i feel not as good and the parts i used to feel bad about i feel better well jimmy g was jimmy g he was bad to start the game he got the kicked out of him so toughness check yeah because he came back and was all know when they when they needed him he was there and greg kittle is still like if you're talking about guys that you trust in the fourth quarter greg kittle is i don't know top three yeah he's a walking bar fight i i love watching him play it's awesome uh his hair is pretty awesome too now he's got like a little bit of a a skullet going oh yeah, it's like shaved on the side but it's long so he can do the flip. He can do like a wrestler flip hair.
That's really what he's going for. He wants to be a wrestler.
Without a doubt. He's like boys with the rock.
The six degrees of separation between us Greg and the rock is not... It's now two degrees.
One degree. Is that one degree? Greg's cool enough that he would just give us the rocks yeah just greg just call us just yeah just text us the rocks number yeah that'd be fine by me yeah so i i just the 49ers yeah they come out and i feel like the rams just picked them apart at times with you know the short passing and and it's like i just don't know i the nfc is so weird to me because every single week you see and we'll get to the Seahawks being maybe the f-word uh which we've talked about but the 49ers I can't make heads or tails of there's times where I watch them I'm like this team is so so good and there's times I watch them like man what's going on here like the you know they play know, they play games.
They lose to the Falcons, and the Rams offense, which has had up and down all year, is able to pick them apart at times. It's a weird team.
But you know what? They're able to win close games. There you go.
Well, except for when they lost to the Falcons. Now they're able to win close games.
Against the Falcons, I'm going to follow that loss under it was good for the 49ers to lose that game. It was a wake-up play.
It was a wake-up play. You want to learn that you're mere mortals before you go into the playoffs.
You want to get scared a little bit. I think that was fine.
This Sunday night game against the Seahawks is going to be awesome. Awesome.
Emmanuel Sanders, too. Credit to him.
I'm a little concerned about Wade Phillips. He's getting fired.
I like Wade. Oh, he's getting fired.
I like Wade a lot, but he's doing the thing where he just says, fuck it sometimes, and he blitzes. He likes to sit in the house even when it's third and long, and he doesn't need to.
He's fired. Yeah.
No, he is. Yeah, but you know when you're playing Madden, and you just say, fuck it, and you just hit a button because in the spur of the moment, you feel aggressive.
Yes aggressive yes that's what he does he's doing that a lot without thinking about yeah he's the rams have some weird i was actually reading an article where the rams they're not it's not like they're set on on one path or the other here but it essentially the gist of it was nothing is off the table here and even possibly trading a Aaron Donald would be – because they don't have picks. They don't have picks in the next two drafts.
They've gone all in. They've gone all in.
More than you can ever go all in. So now they might have to pay back some of that all in to get some draft capital and probably fire Wade Phillips.
Yeah, Wade. It'd be crazy if they did that, but they would also get a lot back for it.
Yeah. Yes, they would.
How much do you think you'd get for Aaron Donald right now? I mean, it would be a first-rounder. Yeah, it'd be a Khalil Mack type trade.
Yeah, it'd be a Khalil Mack. And honestly, he'd be worth it.
Yes. He's that good.
And if you have holes in other parts of your team that you need addressing, you might have to do it just to get some picks back. Yeah.
I still like the 49ers, though. I still like them.
Oh, I like them. I'm not as concerned as you are because I think that the defense can still get after quarterback when they want to.
The Rams were doing the thing where they rolled Jared out a lot, and you cut the field in half, but you give them a better pocket. I like them.
I'm just saying when you watch them, their strength to start the season, and they have had a crazy, crazy murdererers row of teams they've played. They've played all the best teams, basically.
They've played the Seahawks, the Packers, the Saints, and the Ravens in the last month and a half. I just know that you can do this for any team.
You can really do it for any team except for the Ravens right now, where you can look at them one way and be like like I don't know maybe not uh all right before we get to our next game Pink Whitney's you got to go get them right now we have teamed up with New Amsterdam Vodka to officially create our signature drink the Pink Whitney for any of you stoolies out there who've been off the grid for past weeks we teamed up with our partners at New Amsterdam Vodka to make our signature drink pink whitney official after rounds of taste tests we came across this seriously smooth blend of pink lemonade flavored vodka and we knew we had to bottle this one up the pink whitney is perfect over ice chilled as a shot or topped off with a little club soda either way keep this game changer on deck for your tailgates and watch parties this fall and if you can't find a bottle yet tell those pigeons at the liquor store to get some cases in stock brought to you by our partners at new amsterdam vodka as the official vodka of the nhl they're on a mission to help you find your wins all season long pink whitney's go get them right now and thank you to new amsterdam vodka one of our favorite sponsors okay jaguars falcons now we're going to get to a few games here that there's really nothing to talk about because it's week 16 and these teams aren't playing for anything Jaguars Falcons a perfect case the only thing I wrote down for this Dan Quinn he might not get fired that's crazy that's crazy it is insane to think where we were like five weeks ago I think Dan Quinn did get fired but he just showed up before they issued the press release and arthur blank was like you know what okay yeah whatever well here's so your your uh internet dad my internet uncle mike floyo has a theory that arthur blank just doesn't like being told what to do and everyone said that he had to fire dan quinn so therefore he's gonna keep dan quinn yeah which is awesome if you have an owner who's like what? Don't tell me what to do. And it works out that you get your job still.
Yeah. I mean, they might do the NHL thing where they bring him back and then fire him week two.
He's next year. They're going to end up going seven and nine.
I don't know who they play week 17. I think maybe the Panthers.
Either way, they end up going seven and nine. And Matt Ryan wants, he said publicly he wants Dan Quinn to keep his job.
This is one of those teams where you can look at it and be like, well, if a couple things go differently. They play the Bucs.
They play the Bucs. Okay, so Jameis is going to torch that ass.
Yeah, so he might actually get fired. So they're not going to go 7-9.
Yeah. They're going to go 6-10.
But this is, yeah, it's crazy that we're sitting here saying Dan Quinn, he's going to keep his job, maybe. And I think Doug Marone's too yeah this is also a weird uniform game where he looked at it you looked at it and it felt like you were watching the NFL in 2040 because it just it's something about the Jaguars indoors and then the Falcons you know all blacks it was just I watched it like this isn't this doesn't look like this is a creative team it's not the Jaguars' native environment.
I always expect to see Florida teams playing outside. Right.
When a Florida team plays inside, it's definitely not, it's not natural at all. Leonard Fournette has gotten faster as the season's gone on.
He went from, I thought he was like the slowest running back, the slowest starting running back in the league as of week four or five, at least in terms of approaching the line of scrimmage. He was doing what Le'Veon Bell does, but unintentionally, just because he wasn't fast enough.
He's reached top speed, though, like a few times. Yeah, now he's gotten good towards the end of the season.
I don't know what it is. He's just picking up steam.
Gardner Minshew, I still don't know what we think about him. Nah.
Makes me want to floss with a rattlesnake. Nah.
All right, next game. I didn't really mean that, though.
No. Yeah.
Right. It's not there.
The love's not there. It didn't come from my gut like it used to.
Sure. I mean, it's like a Gurner Minshew.
Sure. Yeah.
Backup. Maybe.
Good backup. Good backup.
Maybe with a little time. Good locker room guy.
Yeah. Great locker room guy.
All right. Ravens-Browns.
This game actually did matter because the ravens got the number one seed first time in franchise history which isn't really saying much because it's not been that long of a franchise but they wrapped it up so they get the the playoffs go through baltimore uh get your cargo uh your camouflage your camo cargo pants ready baltimore your black, purple, silver, gray, and white camo pants.

And Ray Lewis black jersey ready to go.

The white suit.

Throw that away.

Which game do they have?

Ray Lewis come out for.

Do they save him for the AFC championship game?

Yeah, you just got to keep him in a cage for a while.

Toss him some red meat every now and again.

Make sure that he's feisty.

He's got the tee up.

This is Lamar Jackson did his thing where a couple times today he made uh guys on the browns team look like they'd never walked they're basically he makes at least twice a week he makes someone look like a baby deer on ice and it's crazy yeah no he hypnotizes them it's nuts there was one period i think the last two minutes of the first half where he for 138 yards. Well, okay.
Two minutes. Now, I thought about this.
I don't think that I could throw a football, walk to the football, pick it up, throw it again, walk to it again, and throw it for 138 yards if you just gave me 120 seconds. Walk? Yeah, walking.
Your arm's not that strong, so, yeah. It's pretty strong.
Eh. It's not that strong.
strong yeah throw with your ass though i i bet you i could throw a football 45 yards okay 45 45 45 45 yards walk to the football you can do that i don't know if i could do it but he did it against a supposed nfl defense well you you mentioned it happened at the end of the second quarter and this is

a continuing theme on this podcast

I think in Cleveland. Freddie

Kitchens needs to be fired.

Situational football, not his

strength. The Browns actually

played a good first half

and the Ravens score

it's 7-6 and he

takes all of, I think it was 25

seconds to give them the ball back.

When all you have to do is maybe run the ball a couple

times, maybe get into half

Thank you. seven to six and he takes like all of i think it was 25 seconds to give them the ball back when all you have to do is maybe run the ball a couple times maybe get into half don't try to push it don't let the this explosive offense get the ball back before halftime you failed that and then it just it it really did feel like an upset alert to oh here come the ravens they're gonna roll the Browns in the blink of an eye, and only a bad coach lets that happen.
I just don't. The only thing that Freddie Kitchens has going for him is that Jimmy has him at some point, at some point, has to say, I'm tired of firing coaches, but I think he's worth it.
I think he's worth firing. Yeah, he's got a name that is, it sounds too friendly to fire almost.
Freddie Kitchens sounds like a drinking buddy. And Odell Beckham got in a fight with him.
He got in a fight. Jarvis Landry got into a little fight with him.
They all hate him. Freddie Kitchens has a turd where his brain should be.
He's a dummy. He's a dummy, and it's not just the situational football because he also went for two at an inexplicable time because he was just thinking like oh the score is kind of close it feels like more points will be better than fewer points right here he went for two but he muddies the water a little bit where he is bad at situational coaching but he's also very bad at interpersonal relationships with his players so you don't know which one to be more mad at him for at any given time and bad at game planning so you don't know if it's actually bad situational coaching or bad game planning he kind of has you confused like was he planning to be this bad or was he planning to be good and then fucked it up by being bad yeah i tweeted this out earlier today because i just remembered it i can't believe we don't talk about it more often the last time the Browns were looking for a head coach, there was an actual report that they were considering Condoleezza Rice as their head coach.
That was Schefter trying to fucking get some clout. That was never real.
That was an actual report that Adam Schefter tweeted out. But we don't talk.
I'm mad at Schefter for that. That and the Des tapes.
Fuck you, tapes fuck you i feel like we forgot that adam schefter went out on that limb and said that yeah that's what he's saying that's literally insane wanted to get yeah i i'm still mad about that i'm happy you said that because i'm mad at shefty for that because i don't think it ever was real and he just did it to get some talk going but i also think that schefter is very protective about like what he tweets out being good. He likes to make sure his information is decent usually.
This was an all-time moment where I still can't believe that that was reported. Honestly, Condoleezza Rice would probably be a better head coach.
She wouldn't have everyone on her team hate her the way that they hate Freddie Kitchens. Right, because she'd waterboard him.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
The Ravens, by the way, we're going to do rest versus rust. We haven't had a good rest versus rust in a while.
Yeah. Because they have nothing to play for Week 17 against a good Steelers defense.
Then they get the bye. Are they going to? I feel like we haven't had a good rest versus Russ and since the uh Peyton Manning Colts that was the best every single year it's like rest versus Russ should they should they start the guys or not in like week 14 yeah people would start discussing yeah Tony Dungy would and Tony Dungy would like alternate every other year yes what his strategy was going to be I am hoping in week 17 for an RG3 start and I'm hoping that we get an RG3 Matt Flynn game where he puts up like five touchdowns and then he gets a starting contract next year and then gets benched before week one.
I actually don't hope that. I want to see RG3 play well.
You probably get hurt playing the Steelers. There was like a 15-second span today where Mark Ingram, Mark Andrews, and Lamar Jackson all had calf issues.
Oh, yeah. Lamar Jackson got jacked up on a play, too.
Yeah. All of Baltimore was watching that.
I'm shocked that RG3 didn't have sympathy pains when everybody else started getting calf cramps. And he just went down on a knee? Yeah, where he's like, yeah, me too, guys.
But I think that this might be a player backup role for some of the guys on the Ravens that don't see a lot of playing time.

Because you don't want to have a big injury.

No, there's no reason.

There's no reason.

But then you got two weeks off.

Right.

So that's rust.

That's rust at that point.

Right.

Maybe you can do a simulated game.

I'm just saying that's a lot of rust.

And you only get one shot in the playoffs.

If you come out and you fuck up in the first half because of the rust. Then people want Joe Flacco back in.
Just saying. Last year.
Rest versus rust. Let's talk about it.
All right. Saints-Titans next up.
This game actually didn't mean anything for the Titans. Because the Texans winning on Saturday means they won the AFC South.
And the Titans game on Sunday, they just have to win next Sunday to get into the the playoffs because they hold the tiebreaker over the Steelers. So I guess it did mean something while the Steelers were still playing, but it ended up not meaning anything because now the Titans just have to win to get in.
And I feel like that's why they probably didn't push Derrick Henry to play. And if Derrick Henry plays this game, I think the Titans win.
Oh, definitely. Because they were up 14- a perfect they were up 14 nothing they looked great then they punted five straight possessions those were such classic we'll just feed the rock to Derrick Henry let him eat up yards let him eat up clock and control the pace of this game and without that they're a different team right so Derrick Henry sitting was one of two elements to the loss I think the other was Mike Vrabel shaved his mustache.
Yep. So he went out there clean shaven, lost the power stash.
I fully believe that he can grow an entire beard in one week. So he'll be ready next Sunday against the Texans.
Even a wispy mustache will be good enough. He'll have something.
It'll be better than whatever grows out of Bill O'Brien's butt chin. Yes.
But I hope that he brings it back for next week because it was shocking to see him without it. Speaking of which, you shaved.
I trimmed. Trimmed.
It looked awful. You looked great.
Thank you. It looked awful last week.
And so now I look beautiful again. Yeah, it got to you a little bit.
It did. Well, it was.
You got a little triggered online. You had to murder someone.
No, it wasn't so much the online comments as it was the comments that I was delivering to myself in the mirror. Right.
It was then the guy that you had to murder. I had to murder him.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's not a jury in the world that would convict me for that, though. You went a little hard.
Sometimes you got to let people know you still got it, you know? Yeah, yeah. And you're not mad at all.
No, you got to clean somebody's clock. You just send a message to everyone.
400 words about one guy's avatar. But not mad.
There's a 240 character limit. Yeah, but you did a thread.
It was a very important thread. Yeah, you threaded him.
I regret nothing. You threaded his ass.
All right. Oh, Michael Thomas breaks the record for single season receptions.
Marvin Harrison, sorry buddy. But Michael Thomas, can't guard Mike.
How about today on Red Zone when Chris Harrison just dropped in casually? Scott Hanson. Chris Harrison.
Chris Harrison. Scott Hanson.
Chris Harrison would be a great name for Red Zone. I'm in a little.
Scott Hanson. He needs to know the spread way more than he.
He cares way too much about fantasy. Throw in a spread.
Yeah. Throw in a spread.
He does care a lot. He's a big, well, I wonder if you had Caden Smith starting on your fantasy team.
Throw in a spread, dude. Throw in a spread.
He does, Carol. He's a big, well, I wonder if you had Caden Smith starting on your fantasy team this week.
Throw in a spread, dude. Throw in a second half.
He's high school. I mean, he was college teammates with Marvin Harrison.
Who? Scott Hanson? Yes. What? Yes.
No. Yes.
I swear to God, on the broadcast, they're like, and he just passed my college teammate, Marvin Harrison's record. Wow.
No. Yes.
I got to learn more about that relationship. Wow.
Scott Hanson also. At Sy.
Scott Manson also threw out a fake Octobox today. He said he was the Rudy without the play.
The Octobox doesn't count if one of the boxes in the Octobox is the studio shot of the Red Zone channel. No, I saw your tweet about that.
There was eight boxes, PFT. It needs to be eight games.
No, but it's eight. That's a septobox.
It's not an octobox. But there was eight boxes.
There were eight boxes that he was in one of them. There were eight boxes, but one of the boxes was a fraudulent box.
Was Chris Harrison the bachelor guy? It was an indie box. It was a box that somebody would steal off your...
Wait, so they weren't high school... College teammates.
College teammates. Yeah.
That's crazy. It's Syracuse.
Yeah. That is crazy.
Look at you, Scott Hanson. I have a little more respect for you back.
Just mix it or spread, dude. Just do it once.
Once. Anybody survived multiple years with marvin harrison probably knows a thing or two about that's true getting down dirty yes but just like i it was i think it was the bengals dolphins game that was pissing me off second half like a lot was at stake yes and he was pretending nothing was it was also probably the most entertaining game of the day yes uh all right so that was saints titans real quick michael thomas can't guard mike shout out he's gonna have 160 receptions this year yeah we need to maybe think about having an intervention for sean payton with tasem hill what do you mean just keeps trying to wedge him into everything well you got to keep you know you gotta you gotta keep them loose yeah well we were talking to somebody that's familiar with sean payton and the saints and their theory is that uh sean payton wants to overpay for Taysom Hill when he becomes a free agent to be a quarterback.
And so that's why he keeps letting him throw the ball so that one of his future rivals will have a bunch of cap space tied up in Taysom Hill. Taysom, I mean, he could be the future himself.
Why not? Yeah, sure. Well, Ted, he too.
Sean Payton can do anything. At this point, when it comes to offensive football, why not? People forget they were 4-0 with Teddy.
Yeah. Yeah.
He kept this season afloat. Yeah.
He's lost less games than Drew Brees this year. Fact.
That's a fact. Yep.
Fact. And he's ignored Drew Brees' daughter fewer times than Drew Brees has.
Also a fact. Panthers, Colts oh christian mccaffrey let's just appreciate him because he's on a shitty ass team but he's still having an unbelievable uh season good job christian he broke his right his own record for receptions by a running back in a season uh and he is 216 yards away from breaking chris johnson's record for total combined yards

rushing and receiving that's kind of cool anytime you pass chris johnson anything that's cool fast

so good job fast individual but yeah this game really didn't matter uh naheem hines that was

pretty cool yeah punt returns for a touchdown again didn't really matter will greer was there was his first game

he showed up

and he kept on

showing his dad

just putting his

head on

and he kept on

putting his

head on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on

and he kept on and he kept on and he kept on game. He showed up.
Yeah. And he kept on showing his dad just putting his hands in his head, which is like, damn, that sucks.
He learned a lot of lessons today. Oh.
It's good education for him. Hey, Panthers, are you sure you really want to move on from Cam Newton? Because I feel like you've seen enough of life without Cam Newton to be like, maybe let's do this one more time with Cam Newton.

I also feel like Cam hasn't been around that much, has he?

He hasn't been around the team.

I don't know.

I haven't heard much from Cam recently.

Has he been on Instagram posting weird hieroglyphics?

He did that video, that crazy video, where he was talking about his health

after the injury, and he was like, I'm not coming back to him 100% healthy.

And I haven't really heard or seen from him since then.

Yeah.

So I just know that this is everyone in the middle of the season, Kyle Allen had his little thing, and everyone said, oh, well, Cam Newton, where's Cam Newton going to be next year? If you're the Panthers, I think you kind of want to keep him. Yeah, you want to keep him involved.
Have him be the stylist for the team and get everybody dressed for the post-game press conferences after a bad loss. They bad bad team only scoring six points a bad bad team uh but yeah this game happened it really wasn't it was just one of those week 16 games that you really won't remember uh but it happened it did happen it happened confirmed uh all right let's do the best game of the day which was the worst game but the best game the bangles and dolphins it was an awesome game it was i actually think my theory is that ryan fitzpatrick and andy dalton maybe got a gift for both opposing defenses and we're like hey guys we both want to have jobs next year so take it easy because they both were incredible they both had four touchdowns lit it up ryan fitzpatrick had like 250 yards in the first half.
Andy Dalton finished the game just going insane to bring them back and go to overtime. I was kind of hoping that the Bengals would just kick the extra point when they scored with like five seconds left.
To intentionally lose. To lose by one, which would have been hilarious.
But this was also a rematch of the Super Bowl coaching when it came to Zach Taylor and Brian Flores. So, of course, they would play an exciting game that was way better than the Super Bowl last year.
It was a reminder that sometimes teams that suck are a lot more fun to watch, especially at the end of the year. Because what happens is once you achieve a certain level of suckitude, you start not caring anymore and you start just going for it and trying all the weird plays that maybe you were afraid to try when you weren't sure if you were good enough to try these weird plays.
But now you're at a level where you can just say fuck it and run all these gadgets and weird motion plays and just throw it deep and all of a sudden you suck so much that you become good again. And it was two quarterbacks who are very used to throwing interceptions.
So that was not going to bother them. Right.
It's two guys who really just don't care about getting out there and throwing it around. And the Bengals got the first pick in the draft.
I love those tweets next on the clock. The Cincinnati Bengals.
No, they're officially on the clock. Cincinnati Bengals.
Joe Burrow going to Cincinnati, maybe. We'll see.
I don't know. I mean, it's...
Going back home? We still got to do the combine and someone has to wow us. Well, yeah, we don't know the size of Joe's hands yet officially.
So we don't know what all this tape from college means. We do some shuttle, yeah, some cone drills and everything.
And then be like, ooh, this guy's's gonna come up the uh you know justin herbert still he's he's got that josh allen feel where some scouts are gonna be like oh man there's also gonna be a quarterback from like northwestern that gets bumped up really high towards the end uh fun fact ryan fitzpatrick he leads the dolphins in rushing this year yeah i knew that so that's that's fun he traded kenyan drake yeah he's a dual threat guy. He's revolutionizing NFL offenses.
Yes, yes. So this was a legitimately fun game.
And say something nice about the Dolphins. You won more than we thought? No, PFT thought you were going to win seven games.
Yeah. You educated a nation of AWLs.
Yeah. True.
Hank, I heard that you went a little far last week with the dolphin clip, the dolphin audio. Like the actual...
I was not the one that went out of my way to go find and capture and murder dolphins. You guys say, Hey Hank, can you find a clip of dolphins getting murdered or captured? And I said yes, and that's exactly what I did.
You did your job. Yes.
Do your job. Also, after like 10 weeks, like, you know.
It gets hard. Right.
There are only so many dolphin murders on tape that have been captured. Surprisingly, there's actually a shit ton.
It's very fucked up. That is fucked up.
Save the dolphins. Maybe we've drawn some awareness to this cause, and so hopefully we've saved at least one or two dolphins' lives.
Yes. Right.
This game took place at the exact same time as the other two shittiest teams in the league. We're also duking it out to see who was going to get the worst draft.
It was hilarious. It was 35s across the board.
Yeah. It was both games were tied 35, 35 going into overtime simultaneously.
Like I was going to say like a snake eating its own tail, but it was like a human centipede of shit that was connected so nobody had a free mouth or ass. Yes, so we'll talk about Giants-Redskins was the other game.
It was happening all at the same time. Who could get the first pick? The top of the draft was big time in flux when the Giants and Redskins were in overtime and the Bengals and the Dolphins were in overtime.
So the Giants Redskins, Bill Callahan, you are a fucking coward. Holy shit, dude.
You got nothing to play for. You're an interim head coach.
You've actually said you don't even like, you know, you're not even going to be the head coach. He doesn't want to.
He doesn't want to be the head coach. Why would you not go for two when you score at the end of the game? It was crazy.
It was great, though. It was crazy.
As somebody that has somewhat of a vested interest in the R words, I was happy that he didn't go for two because they were going to fuck around and get it. It was also Dan Snyder.
I will say something very nice about Dan Snyder. He did something smart today.
Yeah, I know. He told Dwayne Haskins not to go back in the game after he injured his leg.

So it only took like three.

You're talking about Team Dr. Dan Steiner?

Yeah, Team Dr. Dan Steiner made the call.

He's such – he oversteps his bounds so much that eventually he got one right.

And he learned from his previous like three or four mistakes and said,

hey, don't play our starting quarterback who's coming off of a bad leg injury.

So he learned, and also he learned because towards the end of the game

and in overtime, the stands were, the crowd was cheering loudly

while the Redskins were on offense because there were so many fans of the Giants

that infiltrated the stadium.

So his strategy of turning FedEx Field into an opposite of a home field advantage

actually paid off in getting us a better pick. Yeah.
Away games are good for your young quarterback. That's true.
Teach them how to win on the road. Very true.
Yeah. So that sucked that Dwayne Haskins got hurt because he actually was playing well.
Case Keenum, though, is Case Keenum is the perfect guy to come in as a backup. He is an all-time backup guy where when he comes in and started getting hurt, your offense is always going to be better for that game because he's just going to go run around, fling the ball around the yard, and make plays.
It's once you attach the term starting quarterback, Case Keenum to him, that things go downhill quickly. And you start saying, ooh, is this our guy? That's when things suck.
I'm going to put my old man Saquon take on ice because he was awesome. He was pretty good today.
He was pretty damn good. And I have a question for you.
So when I was driving in to work, they had on the radio the post-game locker room and they were interviewing all the Giants. Everyone on the Giants calls Daniel Jones DJ.
I don't like that. No, I don't like that.
He's not a DJ. It's's too much swag we know that real swag is no swag yeah so he doesn't have any real swag if they call him dj i'm not i'm not a fan of that yeah dj dan he's more of a dan no he's he's a daniel we all know a dan in our lives he's a daniel yeah he's a daniel because he i mean he goes by daniel if he's specifically going by daniel he wants to be called daniel it's m called Daniel it's Mitch Mitchell like he has made it clear so DJ I don't think it works that doesn't I highly doubt that he calls himself DJ I don't know man once you got once I got to like the fourth guy who said it I was like what's going on here yeah DJ no yeah I agree with you he that it doesn't match up it doesn't make you can't wear a collared shirt all be a DJ.
Yeah, you can't rock Brooks Brothers and not be called Daniel. Agreed.
And then, yeah, this game was also fun. So credit to the really bad teams for putting on really fun games on Sunday.
That's what Week 16 is about. It's pretty hilarious that by the Giants winning this game, they put Chase Young in their own division against them.
Yes. So that's Chess versus Checkers.
Well, Pat Shermer's trying to save his job. And you know Pat Shermer.
They are now ready to win. He's delusional enough to think that his job is savable.
I'll say this. I wouldn't be shocked if the Giants somehow beat the Eagles on Sunday.
I wouldn't either. I think it's possible.
That's just stupid enough for the NFC East to come down to that and have the Cowboys not make the playoffs. I heard the Cowboys make the playoffs because the Giants beat the Eagles after the Eagles beat the Cowboys.
Yeah, I could absolutely see that happening. And I think that Pat Shermer is going to try to do this thing where he becomes, he tries to ingratiate himself with Daniel Jones so that he's known as the Daniel Jones whisperer.
He's calling him DJ right now. Yeah, absolutely.
They're going out for a meal of boiled chicken. Hey, DJ, where you want to go? Diet rice together.
On me, dude. Yeah.
Yeah. Za on me, DJ.
That's really your last, that's your last hope to save your job if you're in this position as a coach. You just try to make your new young quarterback fall in love with you.
All right. So before we get to our next game.
You should just try to date him. Be like, I like you.
Do you like me? Yeah. Do you want to make this official? Yeah.
You want to get a place together. That's what Derek Carr is doing with John Gruden right now.
Yeah. Becoming your boyfriend.
That's the only way that you can save your job. All right.
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Like this is, the Jets I feel like win these games every single year where they have nothing to play for and they beat a good team, a team that's trying to get in the playoffs, just so they can be like, hey, we're building something. And that's exactly what happened.
Yes, it was a bad game to be a be a pittsburgh steeler fan duck didn't play so great at the start of the game we can say that we can say duck didn't have a great game that doesn't mean he sucks long term but he sucked today then mason got in and he was not bad he was not bad but then he was still mason and then hurt and then duck came in later well they got the marquee's pouncey got hurt and then didn't the backup center step on i think that's what happened it was like a comedy of errors how it all the backup center stepped on mason i think something like that happened where it just it all fell apart or maybe he missed the block and then mason rudolph got stepped on it was like it was one one thing pouncey got hurt and then boom like four plays later it was it was uh mason rudolph got was a big revenge game for Le'Veon Bell and for Hines Ward, who's a receivers coach on the Jets. Who has no reason to be mad about the Steelers because he's a stealer for life.
But he requested to get a Gatorade bath after the game from Braxton Berrios. So I'd say that's probably the saddest Gatorade bath that's ever happened in the NFL.
Yes. And then they showed fat, larger, Big Ben, kind of sad on the sidelines.
This has to be, it went from a lost season for the Steelers to now you've got to be frustrated if you're a Steelers fan because their defense is so fucking good and their defense keeps them in every single game. They just can't get of their own way when it comes they don't they have so many injuries they've you know their receivers are all hurt the running backs hurt the quarterbacks hurt it's been a shit show on offense but if you're watching this defense if you're a Steeler fan you have to be so frustrated being like fuck man they're so good and even if you make the playoffs it's not going to be good it's not going to turn out well for you we always talk about...
Yeah, you got to get the young guys some reps, though. We always talk about the teams that you don't want to play in the playoffs.
The Steelers are the team that you would absolutely want to play the most. My PFT's teams you don't want to play.
You ready for this? I'm going to go with the Ravens and the 49ers. What about the Saints in the Dome? It's tough to win in the Dome.
And Green Bay and Lambeau. They're frauds.
Yeah, so this game sucked for the Steelers. I don't really know what else.
It was just a pointless game for the Jets to win, but they kind of threw a wrench in everything, and now the Titans are going to be in the playoffs. Mike Tomlin looked awesome on the sidelines.
He was rocking the Aviators today. Yeah, he did.
Aviator Mike Tomlin is always a sight. Yeah, so he in my book coach of the year nominee you know if i had a vote i'd throw him in i'd throw him a vote a pity vote did the seal did i read this wrong or did the steelers nominate marquise pouncey as their walter payton man of the year i love i think i read that and good for them good yes he should win it for for defending mason rudolph that would be awesome if he won and he just punched Roger Goodell in the face except in the trophy.
All right, next up, I got a SeatGeek question for you. SeatGeek promo code TAKE.
Throw it in there and you get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase. Do you have any memories from the Lions and Broncos playing football today? That's a SeatGeek question I do because the Broncos wear awesome uniforms.
Yes. They're decked out in their orange and they're rocking the D on the side of their helmet.
I also said to myself in the first half when the Lions were up 10-0, I said, oh, maybe this is something we can take going forward for betting trends. When a coach gets the vote of confidence and gets to keep his job guys will play harder even in a lost season because they know that that coach is going to pick who he's keeping on the team next year yeah not true definitely not true because they stunk they had a kick return and that was it yeah that's it it was a bad I'm looking through the stat no this stats of this game uh Kenny Galladay that's all Kenny got Kenny Galladay is a very good wide receiver he's very very fast he's really the one skilled position player carry on Johnson's pretty good too I guess wait here's okay so here's something nice we'll say Drew Locke is is looks like the future in Denver but here's something nice I'll say to Lions fans who are probably so sick of even hearing about the Lions.
Root for the Redskins next week, because if the Redskins beat the Cowboys, which isn't crazy given the Redskins season, the Lions would get Chase Young. That'd be great.
So there it is. That would be something.
That's what you need to root for. And then he'll retire in five years.
Yes, he incredible he'll make five straight pro bowls he'll be a future hall of famer and he'll be like he'll get addicted to weed and not wanting to kill himself for the yes he'll be like you know what i can go live in miami so i'm gonna do that yes uh all right next up raiders chargers we were robbed of phil rivers late because they didn't get the onside kick but the big story coming out of this game is the Oakland Raiders are still alive somehow they're still in some way I'll tell you how so this is what they needed to happen today and it all happened the Raiders had to beat the Chargers the Ravens had to beat the Browns happened Jets over the Steelers happened Saintsers. Happened.
Saints over the Titans. Happened.
Colts over the Panthers. Happened.
Next week, they need to beat the Broncos. The Browns need to beat the Bengals.
The Ravens need to beat the Steelers, who the Ravens won't be playing anyone. The Texans need to beat the Titans.
That's going to be tough, because the Texans won't be playing anyone. And the Colts need to beat the Jaguars.
They are still alive. It could definitely happen.
I mean, the big one is going to be Texans-Titans. Yes.
If that happens, I could see the others falling. Well, you know what this is all just working up to be, is that all those things happen, and then the Raiders lose to the Broncos in Denver.
Yes. Yeah.
That's the most likely outcome. 100% going to happen.
And then John Gruden kills. Well, not kills, but probably just leaves him behind at the crazy, weird, occult Denver International Airport.
He buries him in one of those mounds next to the flaming red horse outside the airport and then goes back to Oakland without him. Derek Carr was good today.
I actually think Derek Carr will probably just mention today's game as many times as possible to John Gruden this week. Maybe even print out the stat stat sheet.
Maybe if he is a nominee for the air and ground player of the week, he can throw that out there. Because he's got to do anything to remind John Gruden that he's the quarterback right now and keep him.
Because he's not going to keep him. So, I mean, he had a pretty good statistical game today.
He was 26 for 30. 26 for 30, 291 yards, a touchdown, 95.6 QBR.
We don't know what goes into that. It's just Ron Jaworski with an abacus in a toilet stall with his pants down.
He's got his Chinese finger torture thing that he just holds and he's just trying to get out of it. And then he just says a number when he gets frustrated.
So it was a 95.6, whatever that means. You know the old story, like if you're getting chased by a tiger, you don't have to be faster

than the tiger, you have to just be faster than the other guy that's getting chased.

If Derek Carr can just, he outplayed Phillip Rivers today, if he can outplay Drew Locke

in front of John Gruden next week, then he might have a chance to stick around.

This was a sad day.

I believe it was the last game for the Chargers in the storied home field of metroplex oh wait wait whoa whoa dude put some respect on it dignity health sports part dignity health megaplex yeah it's dignity health sports park and croquet club what was your favorite memory of dignity health sports park was it when probably when the raiders fans took over, the Packer fans took over, the Steeler fans took over, the Viking fans took over, or the Chiefs took over? I think the Chiefs because the Red really stood out in the stands. The Chiefs fans were pretty good there.
Dignity Health Sports Park. It's tough.
We've lost two stadiums in the last two weeks. We lose the Coliseum, and then we historic dignity health sports park because the chargers played in a soccer stadium yes they did well no my favorite memory was when philip rivers yelled in in gawkway's ear the other week and that was on mic'd up i think that took place in los angeles uh no it was actually jackson it was okay never mind so i'm going back it.
I'm going back to the Chiefs game. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, I can't believe that they did that. And they did that.
And I still can't believe that anyone thinks that L.A. needs two teams.
Makes no fucking sense. If the Raiders get into the playoffs, they know they can't get a home team.
Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying,

Fuel's Team of Destiny-ish.

No.

When you have Al and the team leaving Oakland.

No, no, no.

Just saying.

I don't think they're, don't get it twisted.

I don't think that they're good enough to win a playoff game.

But I do think that there's a lot of spooky stuff

going on behind the scenes.

I think it's just everyone else sucks

for the AFC's sixth seed. I never want to bet against Mark Davis.
I would love to. I would never want to find myself.
In the first game. If they had to go, oh, that would be a game that they would then have to go play the Chiefs.
There you go, Hank. So that would be a division game.
So they would have to go play Kansas City and they'd get the shit kicked out. They would.
Because I think they've lost like 80-10 this year against the Chiefs. It's tough to beat a team three times, though.
It is. Very tough.
All right. The big game.
So we said this, that the bad games were actually the good games and the good games were the bad games because the Cowboys and Eagles game was not very good. But the Eagles, Carson Wentz was very good, and credit to the Eagles.
In a season when they've had every single guy get injured, it was that moment when they had, I think it was Mills was going to the locker room, while who was getting it? Fletcher Cox. Fletcher Cox was going to the concussion tent.
It was back-to-back. Fletcher got his arm wrapped up like he was Mega Man.
They pretty much had to wrap a trash can in an ace bandage and put it around his arm because his arm is the size of my waist. Miles Sanders tweaked his ankle in the fourth quarter and went to the sideline.
They're like, sorry, dude, we're all out of gauze. We don't have anything left.
Fletcher Cox took it all. So, yeah yeah all the provisions on your Oregon trail of a season have all been lost so so Carson Wentz gets all the credit in the world because he's been much maligned this year and he was awesome the Cowboys are just a fucking joke they're bad Dak Prescott I think is hurt I think he needs to at least care he at least needs to leak some of that he needs to have unnecessary surgery during the offseason if he's not hurt, if he wants to secure the $50 million a year or whatever he's going for.
I'm so sick of the Cowboys. Skip Bayless, breaking news, he re-put Ezekiel Elliott's jersey back into his trash can next to his piss microwave.
The piss microwave is making waves. We've been talking about it on this show for few weeks now but it's really now that it's the third or fourth video he's put it out there it's really people are really starting to question like what is going on with that microwave do you think he microwaves his his balls before he goes on the air to give takes yeah that hot take yeah that's how it gets it he gets no i think he microwaves like a mug of water and then just can pull it right out and just dip his balls in it.
Or he might microwave his own piss. Coley tweeted about it and someone replied to him and said, my dad is a luxury home designer.
And that's actually like a luxury home thing. It's a pullout microwave.
Huh? And that's apparently a thing. I won't understand it until Chrissy Teigen does one of those AMAs on Twitter.
I have six. She explains how rich people live.
Yeah. And then I'll understand.
I'm not a fan of the dick microwave. I'm not going to lie.
I don't know. I honestly don't know.
I'm not going to make a declarative statement. I hope to have enough money someday to own a dick microwave.
As a person who has struggled in the past reaching up to the correct height to pull things out of a microwave before, I would rather do that, like stay on my tiptoes than reach down. I don't want to pull my back or throw it out.
It's true. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, just having anything at dick level is kind of a power move.
Yes, I agree. Because it makes more people who are in your kitchen look at your dick.
And if it was a push-out button and you could hump it open. Oh, damn.
Yeah. You'd fuck that microwave.
I mean, you know you would. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I'd give it a little hip thrust.
Anything. A little, like, even just a side check.
Yeah. Anything in a dude's house that's at dick level, you have to brush up against every now and again.
I have a question. So who gets, like, more, he never has to buy a beer in Philly again status Greg Ward or Dallas Goddard Dallas Goddard was awesome Zach Ertz got hurt in this game and Dallas Goddard was incredible and I feel like he's going to be one of those guys that lives in like they'll make a statue for him I think Dallas because his name's Dallas yeah and if you beat the Cowboys with a named dallas it's you achieve legendary status i just love the guys who step up in the big time moments for a city like philadelphia because you know they become legends forever yeah and this is there's there's philly fans right now who are sitting there and they went through hell this year defending their guy Carson Wentz tonight has

to feel so sweet because you not only beat the Cowboys and Dak Prescott but you most

likely are going to go to the playoffs in a season that looked like absolute shit and

now we get to do the game where we tell ourselves watch out you want to talk about teams you

don't want to play are the Eagles now a team you don't want to play in Philly yeah yeah

and you know what it would probably be the Vikings right oh my god they'll get Kirk

in the You want to talk about teams you don't want to play. Are the Eagles now a team you don't want to play? In Philly, yeah.
And you know what? It would probably be the Vikings, right? Oh, my God. They'll get fucking murdered.
Kirk Cousins is going to get smoked in Philly. Absolutely murdered.
It's a city of brotherly love, not cousinsly love. Oh, man.
That sucks. They're going to get their ass kicked.
Yeah, they are. They're going to get their ass kicked.
With the cousinsly? Yeah. I was just freestyling at that moment.
Remember when the Vikings fans went and they just, like,

all the Eagles fans just throwing beers at them?

Yeah.

Be nice to us.

Yeah.

You're fucked.

You're fucked.

It's not a Kirk Cousins city.

Wait.

No, wait.

There's Eagles fans coming to me.

Oh, yeah.

No, no. It will be the Vikings.

Yeah, the Vikings would have to go there.

Wait.

No, no, no.

The Vikings might be the sixth seed because wouldn't it be the Seahawks or, yeah, no, the, it will be the Vikings. Yeah, the Vikings would have to go there.
Wait, no, no, no, the Vikings might be the sixth seed, because

wouldn't it be the Seahawks or...

Yeah, no, the Seahawks would be the fifth seed.

Seahawks would be fifth.

Seahawks or the 49ers would be

fifth, yes. Shit.

Damn. There goes our...

Damn it.

I'm still not convinced. PFT's been on the playoff

machine heavy. I've been owning

this fucking playoff machine. But you've been kind of making some mistakes for being on it for so long.
Which mistakes have I made? This one. Hang on.
Stand by. Stand by.
I'm telling you. I've got to update the Packers.
I'm telling you. I'm almost positive.
No, no. So here's what happens.
The Vikings win tomorrow night, tonight, against the Packers. Okay.
They could be the fifth seed. The Eagles could be the fourth seed if they win next week.
Wait, but they would get it over the 49ers, are you saying? They wouldn't get it over the Seahawks. The Eagles would be the fourth seed.
Right. The Vikings would be the fifth seed.
So the Vikings would travel to Philadelphia. What would the Seahawks be? The Seahawks could be the sixth seed.
But if the 49ers, if the Seahawks beat the 49ers, they would be the fifth seed. So the Vikings would travel to Philadelphia.
What would the Seahawks be? Seahawks could be the sixth seed. But if the 49ers, if the Seahawks beat the 49ers, they would be the fifth seed because they beat the Vikings.
If the Seahawks beat the 49ers, the 49ers would be the sixth seed. So they would not get the tiebreaker over the Vikings? The Vikings would have the fifth seed.
Wow, okay. So would you like to apologize to me for my use of the playoff machine? If you apologize for your dip spit.
Because it wasn't my dip spit. I actually think you're crazy.
Somebody pointed out to me that on a week five episode of the Fantasy Funhouse Factory, two individuals that were on the show said that they were dipping at the time in our studio. That was actually a fantasy football Twitch stream where multi-platform, multifaceted.
So that was in the Barstow Game Time Room. Did not happen in the studio the dips bit actually like bothers me to my core because i think you might actually be a little sociopathic to deny it to this level i just don't we can't there's no one in the world was on your side full mountain dew bottles it was on your side though who sips a mountain dew bottle and then starts dipping it was on your side was on your side yeah exactly where he does the interviews oh well i don't do that during interviews right you dip before the interview and then you put it that during an interview right as opposed to just leaving my dip like i have gone to sleep every night since being like i can't tell if pft is doing a bit or not i think he actually thinks it wasn't his and that's crazy you're doing a great job of deflecting from my pristine use of the playoff simulator yeah Yeah, well, we don't know if the Vikings are going to be the fifth or sixth seed.
That's true. Correct.
And we don't know even if the Eagles are going to get in there. But it could happen.
So, yeah, if you apologize for the dips. And we don't know if it was PFT's dips.
No, we definitely know. Let's both say I'm sorry.
There's no one. Let's both say I'm sorry at the same time.
Ready? No, because I don't think you believe it. No, I swear to God.
No, listen. Hey, may this forever be.
You want to throw in one for me? No. Two.
May this be a stain on my character for life if I don't apologize. No, no, no.
I don't want an apology. I want you to admit that it was yours.
You just said. And no one.
You just said apologize. And now you apologize.
And no one has ever dipped by taking one sip of a mountain dew. It's just sad that some people will refuse to apologize for things that they were very clearly proven wrong about using the formula.
All right. So, Catherine.
No. Listen, I'm sorry for saying that you were doubting your formula.
Thank you. But I need you to say that it was actually yours because you're the only one who ever dips.
I'm sorry for. No, that's not.
I'm sorry for disagreeing with you. You actually can't do it.
You can't do it. I'm sorry for disagreeing.
I know you can't. This is a sociopathy that's coming in.
I don't know if it's mine or not. Exactly.
We can never be sure. And that's fucking crazy.
That's crazy. We'll never know.
Liam and Hank both think that's crazy as well. We'll never know.
I've never seen anyone take a sip. Don't deflect.
Oh, he does. Hank actually said that he gets low-key triggered because you take a sip of Mountain Dew.
That I get triggered about. Thank you.
Well, that's just because of wasting. That doesn't mean that it was his.
That's because of wasting Mountain Dew. Right.
But you know he does that every time. Yes.
Yes. But it might not have been his.
Right. But he does that every time.
A lot of people use it. It could have been someone else in this studio that also does that.
Hank's right. Out of the two people that sit over there.
It will forever change our relationship if you never like, hey, you know what? I am the only one who gives like that. You're welcome.
Hey, Hank, I'm sorry for welching out on our bed a couple years ago. Oh, wow.
Look at that. Wow.
Look at that. Damn, it only took three years.
You're a man of honor, Hank. Thank you.
I apologize. Damn.
What a day. What a day.
What a way to go on a vacation. Actually, I feel amazing.
So I guess good deflection. I'll put it on the Mountain Dew.
I guess we'll never know. No, we'll never know.
And it's going to bother me forever. Three years from now, I'll admit to it.
I will love that day. I will love that day as much as Hank loves this day.
Start the clock right now. Perfect.
Perfect. We're going to have a great 2020, PFC.
It's going to be a great 2020. Yeah.
I'm going to have a terrible 2020. Lockwood Cometor 2020.
Oh, man. I seriously have had moments where I've been like, does PFT actually think anyone else takes one sip of a Mountain Dew and then dips out of it? I think a lot of guys do.
No one. It's like the jack-off spot on your carpet.
Every guy has it. No one in this office.
No one. All right.
Back to the Cowboys-Eagles. That was quite a detour.
That was amazing. I mean, that was a big detour.
What a way to go out of 2020. You apologized to Hay.
Yeah. I'm happy that our playoff simulator got us to you.
You apologized to Hay. Yeah.
One other thing about this game. That's a Christmas present you could have given me.
That was. Thanks.
We are simplifying the coin toss in the NFL because of Dak Prescott. Because he's an idiot.
Snafu. Yeah.
I didn't know it was possible to simplify a coin toss because it's pretty simple. It's heads and tails.
It's heads and tails. What are the new rules? I don't know.
They're going to simplify it. They're going to streamline the process.
Well, apparently it's confusing to some people. Do you have to give your picks in advance? Well, one of our producers here, John Kelly, came up to me in PFT last week and i swear to god he could not understand us explaining the the like how deferring works and he he was like all right i got it and then he left and no joke he came back to our desk 15 minutes later he's like wait one last thing and he had to like have us re-explain it but if you can afford to some people yeah it's it's pretty simple stuff but you could streamline it by just i think most players are used to playing madden yeah i'm doing the kickoffs on madden so just give them controllers to select what they want and have it just appear on the jumbotron and then they have to select like x or press it is b or whatever it is it is very stupid that the word defer is even in the language here.

It should just be whether you receive or your kick

and then flip the second half.

But this is one of those things.

You need it just so that you can have the stat like Bill Belichick

has deferred 75 times in a row.

It's an idiot test.

It's like if you can't figure this out,

then you don't deserve to win a coin toss.

So why are we saving Dak Prescott?

So yeah.

That's bullshit.

So they're going to streamline it. I don't know what they're going they're gonna do they're gonna make it probably just say like kick or receive although here's the thing though if you're the falcons you probably want to kick both halves and do the onside kick both times that's true coo coo coo uh he missed the field goal the other day that's fine he's he's an onside specialist that's gonna suck if he gets cut because he can't kick the field goals but he's awesome at everything else Oh, I guarantee Belichick will pick him up.
Yeah. Just for the onside kick.
Let's fine. He's an onside specialist.
That's going to suck if he gets cut because he can't kick the field goals, but he's awesome at everything else. Oh, I guarantee you Belichick will pick him up.
Yeah. Just for the onside kick.
Let's see. Let's do – oh, wait.
Let me do one more quick. Oh, speaking of which, PFT, your favorite, Mountain Dew.
This NBA season, Mountain Dew is all about the threes, the shot that's changing the game. As the beverage that challenges people to pursue their passions, Mountain Dew is aligning itself with the most badass shot in the game, pushing boundaries, taking Hoob's culture to the limit.
If you're someone who loves Mountain Dew, even if you just love one sip of it, Mountain Dew is all about being badass and getting out there and doing. There are those who watch and let life happen and those who do and make life happen.
For those badasses who pursue their passion, Mountain Dew is they charge to do. So go get your Mountain Dew, have your one sip, and enjoy your Mountain Dew.
Oh, one last note from Cowboys Eagles. That Chris Christie-Jerry Jones clip was so fucking good because Jerry Jones, the body language of Jerry Jones, here's a lesson to everyone.
Don't invite Chris Christie into your luxury suite because when your season goes down the toilet, you don't want big hot dog breath breathing down your earlobe being like, hey, do you think we should have ran a draw on that? And hey, do you think the dessert cart's going to pass back through here? I really could use some Rice Krispie treats. He looked miserable.
Jerry Jones looked miserable. I mean, Chris Christie has made his entire living the last, what, four years of his life just making billionaires look miserable next to him in suites and press conferences.
Yes. That's like his full-time gig right now.
It was so good. So yeaherry jones uh i'm done with just fire jason garrett just fucking fire him be done with it we're done with it right i don't know okay i don't know as we've discussed he likes he likes knowing that he could fire his coach at any given time oh if you hire a new coach you can't be like that for at least eight weeks it's crazy it's It's crazy.
All right, last game that we got, and then we'll do who's back, and we'll send everyone on their break. Just a reminder, we'll be back.
We have our best of 2019 episode on Thursday, and then we'll be back in studio next Sunday to wrap up Week 17 and the college football playoffs. Which we have a preview of, though, on Thursday.
We have a preview on Thursday of that weekend. Last game, Cardinals-Seahawks.
This game made no sense. Brett Hundley.
When Brett Hundley comes in, you're like, okay, Seahawks are going to come back and Russell Woods is going to win a classic game. Brett Hundley has never done anything in an NFL game that makes me think he can take an offensive snap and not break his leg.
And he was good so bad but he was good today and now the seahawks are should i say the f word no i wouldn't say the f word they're they're uh snake bit they're plus s word plus 12 point differential that's so stupid russell wilson mvp i actually think here's a hot take for Seahawks fans.

Chris Carson and Rashad Penny getting hurt is actually good because now you can't fuck up in the playoffs by running the ball too much.

You can actually let Russell Wilson try to win you a playoff game.

That's true, but you can't establish the run.

They also lost Procise.

Yeah.

So they're fucked.

What do you do?

I've got an idea.

Beat the 49ers, which they will because nothing makes sense for the Seahawks team. I've got an idea.
Yeah. Marshawn Lynch.
Ooh, he's very high right now. Yeah.
Somewhere. Great.
Good. Bring him back.
Marshawn. Tell you what.
Sign Marshawn Lynch and LeGarrette Blount and just let them get high as fuck. Is Marshawn? I can't remember, though.
I feel like Marshawn Lynch maybe doesn't like Pete Carroll.

There's,

you know,

like the whole Earl Thomas thing.

There were some guys who didn't like the front office,

didn't like Pete Carroll.

Was he part of that?

I don't know.

I don't know if he was part of that or not,

but I think that Marshawn could be talked into going back to Seattle.

It'd be incredible.

Legal weed.

It'd be incredible.

We,

yeah,

he can get in game shape by the playoffs. Marshawn's a guy that,.
Yeah. He needs like a week to stretch and then he'll just run somebody over.
So, yeah. I'm sure the Seahawks will beat the 49ers because nothing makes sense in the NFC West at this point.
I feel like the Seahawks and the 49ers have been traded spots back and forth of the team that like, ooh, they're going to be the best team. They're going to be the hardest team to play.
And unfortunately, the Seahawks losing this game means my doomsday scenario of the Packers somehow getting the number one seed is still very much alive. Yeah, it's one step closer.
Now, fuck, the Seahawks also didn't start a lot of good defensive players today. But they still laid an egg on offense.
They did. They were not good.
They should have beaten Brett Hundley. Still like a 20-13 game, I think, with 10 minutes left, and Brett Hundley was the quarterback.
So I'm consulting my playoff scenario right here to figure out exactly what happens to get the Packers home field advantage next week. I think it's just the Seahawks winning against the 49ers and the Packers winning out.
If the Seahawks win against the 49ers and the Packers beat the Lions, which will happen. And the Vikings.
And, well, yeah. So he's going to have to beat the Vikings, the Lions, and the refs on week 17.
And if that happens, then they're the one seed overall. And the road to the Super Bowl goes through Lambeau.
It's very much a possibility now. And they're not good.
But it's a possibility. Chandler Jones should be conversation and defensive player of the year.
He has 19 sacks. He had four today.
Four sacks today, yeah. And two forced fumbles.
So what is his deal? He seems like he been really really good in arizona for a long time but he doesn't get he doesn't get talked about in the same light as like a really shitty team yeah just really shitty teams i guess really what it is yeah in arizona i mean there's worse things to be than an awesome nfl player in arizona your scottsdale yeah right yeah be a millionaire young it the best, but it's not the worst. Was he the K2 guy? Yes, right? Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Okay.
I got you. I got you.
Yeah. Yeah.
You got it. They shipped him out.
You got it. Yeah.
You got it. The old Henry Hill.
You got it. All right, PFT, you want to do the last two ads, and then we'll do a who's back of the week? Of course, yeah.
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All right.

So there's a clip that's going around on Twitter that I should probably address. Patrick Mahomes running off the field after a touchdown counted to 10 to let the Bears know where he landed in the draft.
Okay. And I'm getting tagged on it.
So are you addressing it right now? Yeah. Consider it addressed.
It sucks. So that was a little salt in the wound.
Fun times. Fun times.
Fun times. Patrick Mahomes, he seems good.
He seems like he's going to be good for a while. He might be.
He might be a franchise quarterback. All right, let's do who's back of the week.
Hank, who's back of the week? You want to go? No. You go.
Sure? Yeah. You sure? Yes.
All right, my who's back of the week is people that somehow keep their fantasy season going along until week 17. Yes.
Yeah. Yes.
You're a psycho. Crazy.
You're a psycho if you do it. Although, I would imagine that week 17 daily fantasy is pretty fun because of all the chaos.
You really have no idea who's going to go off in week 17. Right.
Right. It's...
Maybe we should do a one day fantasy week. No, I was just saying that because you said that was going to be a who's back week week.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My real who's back of the week.
No, that does suck, though, the people who complain about that. And you're like, 100% your fault.
Yep. My real who's back of the week is Taco.
Taco Fall has played in the last two Celtics games. Today he was getting MVP chance.
And I know you football guys. I saw the clip.
It was awesome. Might not have been paying.
You'd probably scoff and say MVP, MVP.

Here's some stats for you guys.

What's his player efficiency rating?

Your NBA scoring leader per 48 minutes.

Guess who's number one?

Taco.

Taco, James Harden, Giannis, Luka, in that order.

Averaging 58 points per 48 minutes.

Wow.

58 points per game?

Per 48 minutes. How many points has he scored? He has played 11 minutes so far this season in those three games.
13 points? Yeah. That's incredible.
We're not talking about that. We're just talking about...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That clip was awesome, though.
When the crowd was cheering for him and Brad Stevens made the crowd go a little louder. That was a cool clip.
It's a crazy thing where it's like, for whatever reason, just because he's so tall, people get so, so fired up. Like, legitimate playoff atmosphere in a 30-point blowout.
I mean, he's hilarious. It's great having a giant player out there on the court.
It's a fascinating, I mean, it's a tale as old as time, but it's just fascinating how just because he's so tall, he creates that type of reaction. Have you seen that vine of him with the shorter kid that was a little more portly? It turns out the kid...
That was Lothario. No, that was Zion.
Different kid. The kid in that clip was actually like 6'6 and 310 pounds.
So yeah, it was Zion. Yeah, it was Zion.
Bust that it hank yeah that was it good job yeah thank you

uh very good job my appreciate that yeah thanks hank my who's back of the week is cats yes so

the cats movie came out this weekend and it did a whopping two million dollars in receipts on on

friday night and saturday i think holy uh and i think it cost like 200 million dollars to produce

and there were scenes in the movie that weren't done they weren't fully edited oh yeah so they

So, like, there was one scene where Judy Dinches... This is the most relatable shit I've ever heard.
Yeah. They were sending...
The studio was sending them... If you saw the movie on premiere night, you saw one version, and the studio was sending like, all right, now play this version, play this version, they were like actively updating shit.
Yeah, they were sending patches. They're like security updates to the movie.
You could see Judy Ditch's like real hand and her watch and her wedding ring. Incredible.
In certain scenes. Incredible.
And now, well, I'm a little bit woke because it is getting people talking about the movie Cats. Because we probably wouldn't be talking about it at all.
Correct. If it wasn't a massive fuck up.
Right. And now what they're doing doing is they're taking the movie back they're re-editing certain scenes and sending an entirely new version out next week so now the people that already saw it are going to want to go back and see it again double dipping like when we fuck up recording an episode and we have to add in i love you guys at the end because it got cut off too soon when we were editing the process i I thought, come on.
Dude. But when you re-upload it.
The PFT. When you re-upload it.
Hank 2020 lasted almost until December 23rd. Don't get in between us.
That's what Hank and I do is we bust each other's balls because we know we can take it. So, yeah, I'm very woke on the Cats updates.
My other Who's Back of the Week. Did you see one more Sabermetrics? It was like there was a movie Dogs that had...
Cats and Dogs. No, there's a movie Dogs that had like 94% Rotten Tomatoes.
The movie Cats had 17% Rotten Tomatoes. And then the movie Cats and Dogs had 54% Rotten Tomatoes.
Yeah, Woofers over Kittes. Yeah.
So my other Who's Back of the week is saying Merry Christmas. What is it? 94.
We're saying Merry Christmas again. Yeah, it does.
Everyone's saying it. I saw a tweet.
And we're so glad that it's back. And we're all saying it again.
17 divided by two? Oh, that's what you're saying. That's what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Big Cat, what's your who's back of the week? My who's back is assholes who debate whether Die Hard's a Christmas movie.
It's true. Fuck those people.
Trey. It is the lamest thing.
This is crazy. We're talking about TV time of the night.
Oh, shit. American Ninja Warrior.
He's added them. No, so usually it's either Johnny Bananas' show and then it's Ninja Warriors.
Johnny Bananas is competing on Ninja Warriors. The most ambitious crossover event of all time.
This really means that we've been doing this for too long. This is incredible.
We've reached part of my take singularity. And here's Rhea doing the train again.
This is, yeah, we're at that point in that. Yeah, so die hard.
Don't debate that. You're a cop if you do that.
And you know that everyone's going to start doing it because they think's funny to to start talking about it it's fuck i feel like it's the thing where everyone who is filling in for a radio show this week across america that's number they're like all right what do you think we should do week 17 preview uh maybe favorite gift you ever got on christmas and is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Yeah. It's bad.
It's really bad. It's reached a point where in five years you can do it ironically and it'll be funny but right now you just gotta lay low.
I hate you if you do it. Just banish it from your brain for the next, at least four Christmases.
Also, who's back is Frosty's. Yeah.
Yes. Yeah, Frosty's are back big time.
That club was hilarious. I don't want to say I'm on the guy that wanted the Frosties side

but I understand where he's coming from

Frosties

a wonderful treat

it's a great treat

alright that's our show

we'll see everyone on Thursday for the best of

and then again on Monday for week 17

Merry Christmas

Happy Hanukkah

I told you we're saying it again

and we'll see you before 2020

Thank you. the best of and then again on monday for week 17 merry christmas happy hanukkah i told you we're saying it again saying it again uh and we'll see you before 2020 so this isn't goodbye till the

next decade we will make that joke on monday we'll see you next week yeah love you guys Thank you. We'll be right back.
Well, in a way, I start learning the fight is okay.

Say after me, place for better to save the sun. Thank you.
Who's dip spit do you really think it was? Seriously, like, all shtick aside. You know it wasn't mine, right?

Alright, alright.

I mean, the fact that you wanted to put it is, like, crazy.

Of course it was mine.

I'm not, of course it was.

No, but you weren't doing shtick.

You actually were denying it.

No, of course I am.

Who else would it be?