Jorge Masvidal, NFL Week 16 Preview And Picks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have the baddest motherfucker alive. That's actually a title he has won.
It's Jorge Masvedal.

Speaker 1 When we do UFC interviews, we always get into it being like, well, I don't know how this is going to go. Well, it went awesome.
He's great. He talked about putting people into the shadow realm.

Speaker 1 Baptisms. Fucking hilarious.

Speaker 1 We have a week 16 preview.

Speaker 1 We talk about the big games, Fire Fests, FAQs. We're going to send everyone off hopefully on vacation to a great show.

Speaker 1 Before we do all that, though, we're in the Cash App Studio, and we're brought to you by...

Speaker 3 When cool, Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 4 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No paper, and I love washing.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 for free and $10 to the ASPCA to help some animals.
Today is Friday, December 20th.

Speaker 1 No football on Thursday night.

Speaker 1 It's sad, but this is sneaky one of the best football weekends of the year. Yes, because you've got Saturday football.
Yeah. You've got FCS playoffs.
You've got Sunday football. Bowl games.

Speaker 1 Bowl games. But the Bahamas Bowl games.
DFT. We're in the here and now.
And I have spent all day looking for a football game game that just wasn't there. It just hit me too quickly.

Speaker 1 I don't know where time goes. I don't know if we want to get existential, but man, this decade is almost over, and football, Thursday night football is over, and I'm fucking bummed.

Speaker 1 Well, the decade's not almost over. We got another year to be that guy because there was no year zero.
So technically, are you going to do that? 2020. Are you going to do that?

Speaker 1 No, I'm just doing it out to piss you off. But

Speaker 1 that is a real person that exists out there that will tell you that you're going to face.

Speaker 1 No, I'm going to say see you next decade. Okay.

Speaker 1 See you next year, jokes. Which means I'm just taking the entire month off.
Big time back.

Speaker 1 Although,

Speaker 1 people forget that part of my take was started on a leap day

Speaker 1 on February 29th. True.
And we have another one this year. So our little podcast is about to turn a year old.
One year. That's actually crazy.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we need to divide all the downloads we've gotten in the last four years, divided by one.

Speaker 1 We're still behind Joe Rogan. Yeah, probably.
Fuck. Yeah.
Shit.

Speaker 1 So, no Thursday night football. That stinks.
By the way, for anyone... Oh, there we go.
Nice Hank. A little move-in some ad.
We do a lot of stuff in this studio. We do.

Speaker 1 This studio, by the way, let's talk about that real quick. So, we had Jorge Masvedal in here.
Yeah. It was an awesome interview.

Speaker 1 I don't think he cares because he's a fighter and he puts people in the shadow realm, which you'll find out about. But I realized today that we have officially made this studio our junk pile.

Speaker 1 It's a mess. So we do a pretty good job usually of

Speaker 1 being charming with our uncouthness and our disorganization. Now it's kind of just reached the point where it's grossly disorganized.
Well, we have a

Speaker 1 unorganized.

Speaker 1 We're taking a month now to build this squat rack slash. What have you done to help build the squat rack slash bench? I stood next to Stephen Shea and told him he was doing it all wrong.

Speaker 1 and called him a weakling who's never been in a gym. I've passive-aggressively sighed very loud every time I have to step over it.
Uh-huh. That has to be doing something something to someone.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Right? I held both sides of the squat rack up and looked at him for a while. I was like, yep, this looks about right.
Yep, going to need a lug nut over here. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's also just, I don't know, there's my corner's getting a mess. PFT, I'm going to say something nice about your corner.
That big bottle of dip spit that you had for like a month is gone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I don't know if it's still there somewhere, but it's gone out of my sight. Well, the big bottle of dip spit that you have is

Speaker 1 yours. That's yours.

Speaker 1 That's a Mountain Dew bottle. You You

Speaker 1 that is not. The cat came at the king, and he had you take PFT takes one sip out and then starts dipping.
This is 100% a PFT

Speaker 1 spit bottle. I don't care.

Speaker 1 I have never dipped in a fucking Mountain Dew bottle ever. I would not put that

Speaker 1 Liam, back me up. Have you ever seen me do this?

Speaker 1 I, as a Mountain Dew person, too, get disrespected because PFT is like, yo, let me get a Mountain Dew. Takes one sip of it and then

Speaker 1 you're in your own house is in order to get it. Good to know that

Speaker 1 before you spit into it. PFT is just pushing his dip spit into my corner.
Very confused right off the table. Just admit.
That's not mine. Dude.
That's not mine. I've never heard over there.

Speaker 1 That is literally the bottle that you use every time. You use like a full bottle and spit in it.
Absolutely not. Okay.
I got to think, you know what? We know that. You know what?

Speaker 1 You know what's yours? That's probably from Hank's little fancy football podcast. Oh, got it.
Which none of the hosts dip on. Yeah, I don't know about that.
Just own up to it. Big 10, it's definitely.

Speaker 1 It's fine. I'm not going to be mad.
It's just funny that you've moved your dip spit over here. That's actually a smart move by you because that's where I look.

Speaker 1 So I didn't even notice that you had done that.

Speaker 1 It'll be a little Easter egg. We'll move it around the studio.
So if you have Barstool Gold, you get to track the movement of the Mountain Dew dip spit.

Speaker 1 You should have told on yourself by telling me that because I'd never turn around. Never mind.
This is one of those things, though, Big Cat, where you set yourself up to just

Speaker 1 say something about anything. Because tomorrow, let's say we get the squat work up and we clean everything.
Then next week when we get back, you're like, well, where's all my stuff?

Speaker 1 Where's all my stuff? Well, no, I actually don't know what I have anymore because I have so much random shit everywhere. So I actually will not do that because I do not know what I have.

Speaker 1 If you say the words, we will get everything out of here. We'll start 2020 clean.
No, I know. No, I like it.

Speaker 1 I like it. It's comfortable.
Let us just bitch about the mess. I know.
I just feel bad. It's something we have to.
This is what happens when you don't have Thursday night football.

Speaker 1 You bitch about the mess. It's a very fine line between being just kind of lovably messy and just being a slob.

Speaker 1 We're falling over into the slob category. It's like New York.
Literally, none of us check each other. Like, we're all kind of the same in that sense where the exact same.
It's, I mean,

Speaker 1 I can't believe, but I can believe that PFT put his dip spit over there, but I also am not going to do anything about it. New Year's resolution.
Leave it there.

Speaker 1 Everything that we bring into the studio, every item that we bring in, we have to take one item out of the studio. We've reached critical mass.
All right.

Speaker 1 So what we really need to do is put a bunch of those golf pencils right at the door so we can just keep taking those out, and we're good. All right.
Let's talk about some other stuff.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about some football.

Speaker 1 Tom Coughlin got fired. He should have gotten fired, and he did get fired.

Speaker 1 So they were going to relieve him of his duties at the end of the year, but a bunch of news came out about how he's fining Leonard Fournette $100,000 for sitting down, TJ Yeldon $100,000 for sitting down on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 So they upped his firing up by two weeks. He got fired on Coughlin time.
He got fired on Coughlin early.

Speaker 1 It's also very funny that Tom Coughlin, who is like the biggest stickler for rules of all time, all he does is basically implement rules.

Speaker 1 He can't follow the simplest rules given by the CBA and the NFL. Well, he follows his own rules.
Right. But he follows them very, very strictly.

Speaker 1 I've got a take on this. I think this bodes very well for the Jaguars.
I'm actually impressed with the Jaguars. And here's why.

Speaker 1 They kept all this stuff that Tom Coughlin was doing in-house. Yeah.
Like, you didn't hear

Speaker 1 Leonard Fournette Marone. Yeah, credit to Doug Marone.
You didn't hear Leonard Fournette complain about it. Yeah, he had Jalen Ramsey get a woman pregnant for 12 months.

Speaker 1 And he left, and then Dante Fowler also wanted to leave.

Speaker 1 But you didn't hear anything in the news about like Tom Coughlin just like literally take stealing money from his players over made-up rules that he implemented on the team.

Speaker 1 One must ask: Was Blake Bortles the glue that held the Jaguars together? Oh, for sure. I mean, that's why Ramsey wanted to go to LA.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Fournette today tweeted a picture of a FaceTime with him and Blake being like, the boat is coming back. Confirmed.
And Blake looked, he looked great.

Speaker 1 And I'm sure that call was like, oh, thank God Tom's finally gone. Like, you can come back now and boat.

Speaker 1 Do you think Fournette FaceTimes Blake more than he did talk to him because he doesn't have to smell his breath? Exactly why. Yes.
That's a smart move by him.

Speaker 1 All right, let's talk about the weekend preview, some games we got to get to. We're brought to you.

Speaker 1 I think we've talked about this before off the air, but it's kind of crazy.

Speaker 1 I think we've both realized that with the professional athletes that we interact with and some work here, they're big FaceTime guys. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Professional athletes are much, much more FaceTime guys than they are of text message or call guys. It's younger people and people that are attractive.
Those are FaceTime people. That's true.

Speaker 1 Because I have never not looked horrendous in a FaceTime.

Speaker 1 And it's essentially when you FaceTime, you basically have to face all your fears because you're looking in a mirror and you're like, I don't want to do that. I have no mirrors in my house.
Yep.

Speaker 1 I'm like a vampire. Is that a vampire? Yeah, vampires can't have the mirrors.
Yeah, yeah. So I, when you

Speaker 1 like 20-year-old kids that are, you know, look the best they've ever looked and they're young, dumb, and full of cum. They FaceTime.
Yep.

Speaker 1 If you FaceTime anyone over 30 who is not a professional athlete, you're actually an asshole. I'm going to invent a new app.
It's FaceTime, but your face is pixelated, so you can't see.

Speaker 1 I usually put the,

Speaker 1 you know, you can put the animals on top of your head. And I do that.
Wait, you get dressed up as a furry? No, no, no. You can press the button and you can basically be like a dinosaur.
On FaceTime?

Speaker 1 Yes. I thought that was just Snapchat.
No, no, no, no. They have it on FaceTime now.
It's awesome. And you can like wag your tongue and it will will wag its tongue.
It's pretty cool. That is cool.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try that. All right.
The weekend preview, by the way, if you want to watch us, want to watch Jorge Masvedal, barstool gold.com/slash PMT.

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, my money, my can't lose parlay, 49ers, Saturday night, Ravens, and the Broncos. Broncos are playing the line.
Can't lose. Yeah, none of those can lose.

Speaker 1 So this is the best Saturday I think we've ever had. It is great.
These matchups are incredible.

Speaker 1 Because we have not only playoff implications with the Patriots and the Bills and the 49ers and the Rams, but we have Jameis Winston on a Saturday, which means shit's going to get weird.

Speaker 1 Like he will be throwing interceptions.

Speaker 1 He's got no Godwin, no Evans. I'm ready for it.
My body is ready for Jameis to throw

Speaker 1 seven interceptions in three touchdowns. He is prime.
Jameis Winson, his internal clock is going to be even more messed up than it usually is, and he's got a fucked up internal clock.

Speaker 1 He's playing a full day early,

Speaker 1 and it's the early game, too. It's the early game

Speaker 1 short week. Texans' linebackers should show up as craps.
That'd be nice. Or Mr.
Crabs. Mr.
Crabs. Wow.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, Mr.
Crab meme with Jameis on it.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to do that. Or Uber drivers.
Yeah. That too.
Yeah. They should take an Uber to the stadium.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited for this game, though, because Jameis is, it's been a running theme this entire year. He is the funniest quarterback of all time.
He's also a future Hall of Famer. And one of one.

Speaker 1 This game, I'm going to say the Texans are going to win, but Jameis, who knows? Like, I'll bet on the Texans, but who knows with Jameis. Well, I tell you what, I'm doing.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to bet the over. I'm just betting for exciting.

Speaker 1 I think this is a W-word game, PFT. Eat a W.
Nope. The wind.
Check the wind. Eat a W.
I think there's supposed to be high winds. High wind in Tampa Bay? High winds.
So just check it. Just check it.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to help you out.

Speaker 1 Bills Patriots. Hank, where are you at? This game, I asked you before the show started, it feels like this is the biggest game the Patriots have played this late in the season.
No?

Speaker 1 They've been in situations. They have the two seed.
They control their own destiny. I think it was a situation where they need to win to

Speaker 1 get in.

Speaker 1 No, no, but wait, hold on. So they've had situations, right, where it's like one or two seed.
This is the buy or not.

Speaker 1 So this feels different because if they lose this game, now they have to play three games. And do you trust them playing three games and two of them on the road? No, I don't.

Speaker 1 But in terms of this game, I don't think it feels different because once the game starts, the Patriots are going to start dominating,

Speaker 1 working their way down the field, controlling both sides of the ball, and it's going to feel exactly the same as it ever has.

Speaker 1 So what you just did was not answer the question, though, which is like this is the Patriots' most meaningful late season game in a long time.

Speaker 1 Now, once the game gets started, you're saying that you think the Patriots will win. But I don't think, I don't think, I think there's been more meaningful games.
I don't think this one is.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe it is. It just feels different.
Like, this, I can't remember. It doesn't feel different to me.

Speaker 1 It can't remember the last time week 16 came around and it wasn't like, oh, the Patriots are locked into the water, the two seeds. I just really wish this game was in Buffalo.

Speaker 1 I wish this is dildo-throwing weather out there. It is.

Speaker 1 It's probably going to be snowy. It's going to be windy.
It's going to be cold as shit. A little stat for the under.
You ready for this? The Bills,

Speaker 1 there's been a total of 40 or lower five times this year, four and one on the under.

Speaker 1 So even though it's 37 and it feels way too low, I feel like you just got to take it. Right.
And truly, it's a matchup of which team has recovered from the absence of Antonio Brown this offseason.

Speaker 1 Which team has adapted from him leaving the game.

Speaker 1 The revenge game for Antonio Brown. How about Antonio Brown tweeting like the best six-round pick ever in his draft card? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No more White Woman 2020.

Speaker 1 Does he not realize that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round? Well, no, he doesn't. He's forgotten.
He does. Yeah, he forgot.
He also said, here's a woe.

Speaker 1 Isn't it weird how each word means different things? It's true. Yeah.
It's a fact. Well, yeah, that is a fact.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Except for when you say sixth round, that just means sixth round.
That just means Tom Brady. It means Tom, yes.
Right.

Speaker 1 Rams 49ers is the Saturday night game.

Speaker 1 I feel like the Rams might be cooked. It is boner Saturday.
These matchups are so good. That's a trademark PFT commenter.
Boner Saturday. It's boner Saturday.
That's going to be a great night game.

Speaker 1 I think that the defense for the 49ers are going to shut them down.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
This is.

Speaker 1 Here's something that I know stats to back it up, but I feel like late in the season, divisional, just take all the unders. I know that sounds crazy.

Speaker 1 I know overs are more fun, but these two teams know each other. Yeah, it's tough to beat a team twice.

Speaker 1 It's going to be interesting to see how the 49ers bounce back from losing that heartbreaker to Young Wei Ku and the Falcons and losing that under, most importantly, last week.

Speaker 1 But I feel like that's an A-word game. That's an aberration game last week.
That's an aberration.

Speaker 1 It was also the only Super Bowl. I only know what that means in the context of football.
It was an aberration. I think the 49ers are going to steamroll.
Yeah, so that one's going to be a good game.

Speaker 1 And then we have a true, true. So Sunday is not great, but guess what? It's red zone and you'll have like a billion games on.

Speaker 1 The Saints and Titans is going to be a good game because that has some implications. But a true, a true loser leaves town in the Cowboys going to the Philadelphia Eagles.
The game of the week.

Speaker 1 Joe Buck, Troy Aikman. I have a problem.

Speaker 1 I saw the Cowboys play last week, and I think they're going to the Super Bowl. They were good.
They were good. I have a problem.
I have a problem. Jerry Jones is in my head.

Speaker 1 So before we tape this podcast, I put a future bet on the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl. There you go.
And it's really good odds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, we just saw it last week, so that's what's fresh in our mind.

Speaker 1 Also, the Eagles, though, they played well last week, too.

Speaker 1 Are you going to say that they played well when they barely beat the Redskins? Yeah. I don't think that was playing well.
I think that was they did enough to get a win. I think.

Speaker 1 Just like they did with the Giants. The Eagles are one of those teams where it's like, I believe that they can catch fire at any time.
I agree with that sentence. They're a very flammable team.

Speaker 1 But they haven't played well. They have not been playing well.
And I feel like every single guy on that team is injured. And I'm sure I'll be wrong because I'm always wrong.

Speaker 1 But this feels like a Cowboys ass kicking. Just like the first time they met.
I did see that Orthega Whiteside is hurt. So they're down to negative one wide receivers.
Just run the single wing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just Greg Ward Jr. and Robert Davis are their two healthy receivers to be playing.
And Josh McCown. Robert Davis.
Okay, Greg Ward, Robert Davis. They made those names up.

Speaker 1 If Freddie Mitchell needs to just show up at the stadium wearing a full kit, wearing the pads, and he'll probably get in the game.

Speaker 1 Freddy, if you just wake up early enough on Sunday to get to the game on time, you'll probably get a one-day contract. Robert Davis and Greg Ward sound like names of the filler spot on Madden.

Speaker 1 We can't get a picture for this guy. We'll just throw, we'll just call him Robert Davis.

Speaker 1 I was just, they sound like an undercard fight in like a Saudi Arabian boxing match taking place in like the Prince's backyard. This is going to be for the 10th best

Speaker 1 middleweight of the world. Yeah.
Here we go. Either way, it's not great for the Eagles.
Contender series.

Speaker 1 I'm offended that you said we have the game of the week on that Sunday is going to be the Cowboys Eagles. It's technically the game of the week.
It's America's game of the week.

Speaker 1 You are showing a lot of disrespect to the Dolphins and the Bengals who are facing off. This game should have been flexed.
It should have gotten the Bears out of prime time. I wish.
It's like

Speaker 1 this is a, are we sure they're historically bad game?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you know what? Both teams are like plucky enough and have had moments where they've been close enough where I don't even know.

Speaker 1 This is also one of those games that you have to bet on just for the inevitable Trey Wingo tweet. Like, if you bet on the Bengals Dolphins, you got a problem.
You're a degenerate shuck.

Speaker 1 It's like, actually, yeah, these are the best games. I'm going to bet on it to just stick it to you.
It's the Trey Wingo Bull.

Speaker 1 Yeah, also, Trey, I'm ironically watching this game on the seat of my couch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's Jim Nance handing out now? He's handing out something.

Speaker 1 He has the tie, but we had Gus Johnson hand out the play card. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 For this game, they should have Marvalbert announce the Dolphins-Bengals one and then give out the piece.

Speaker 1 Like, instead of the toast picture that Nance carries around, I'm sure Marv Valbert has a picture of how red he wants his ass spanked and just hand that out to Fitzpatrick for a great win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, winning coach gets the ball and gag thing. Yeah.
We just strap it around him and have him do the post-game interview. Here you go, young man.
Let's do some picks.

Speaker 1 Sunday night football doesn't need to be discussed. That's going to be a shit show.

Speaker 1 By the way, one more note. We are, most people will probably be off this week.
We're not. So, Sunday night, we will be in the studio.
We're going to recap all week 16.

Speaker 1 Week 17, we'll be back in the studio Sunday night to recap all week 17. We'll have a best of after Christmas as well.
So, you're going to get two episodes next week.

Speaker 1 You're going to get two episodes the following week because we'll probably tape a Thursday episode on January 2nd. But we're here.

Speaker 1 We're doing it. I'm going on pickets.
You're going on pickage. Yeah, I'm excited about working next week.
I'm not excited about the fact that it's week 16. Just hearing week 16.

Speaker 1 I know there are 17 weeks in the NFL season, but when I hear week 16, I think end of the season. I think it's over.

Speaker 1 The one thing we do have to look forward to, though, is that awesome, that beautiful score bug that they're going to put up with the happy holidays, the Christmas lights, a little bit of snow coming down.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 your NFL team-themed Santa hat. Yes.
That the fans, like some fat guy's going to be falling asleep, and they're going to show him and have a Jet Santa hat. And it's like, yeah, man, you got this.

Speaker 1 Cletus is going to have a big red sack over his shoulder. Love it.
Love it. All right.
Let's do some picks. Let's go.
Hank, why don't you give us your favorite and your underdog?

Speaker 1 My underdog is

Speaker 1 the Raiders.

Speaker 1 Okay. Phil Rivers stinks.
Okay. Derek Carr, not that bad.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I heard I got a juicy rumor that Derek Carr wanted to take over some of the play calling at the line of scrimmage, and John Gruden said no, hell no.

Speaker 1 And now the Raiders are going to trade Derek Carr to Chicago. Interesting, really? Yeah, that is a juicy rumor.
I like that. It's literally from no one.

Speaker 1 He tweeted it at me with the text message saying he knew the Raiders' security guard. Okay.
And he was right on the Khalil Mack thing. So

Speaker 1 whatever he wants. I do absolutely believe the part of that story where John Gruden told Derrick Carr to fuck off.
Fuck off. Yeah.
Yep. My underdog is the

Speaker 1 Lions.

Speaker 1 They're still fighting for Patricia. Okay.
Well, no, they're not really.

Speaker 1 Right. So they're going to celebrate by winning this game outright.
This is going to be a celebration of coach coming back.

Speaker 1 This is going to be a Drew Locke bounce back game from the Drew Locke regression game. Yep.
PFT.

Speaker 1 Let's see. My favorite is going to be...
I got Denver plus seven at home against Detroit.

Speaker 1 Denver minus seven, yeah, at home against Detroit.

Speaker 1 They're wearing the throwback uniforms with a helmet with the big D on them, the giant D D on them. So, again, this is all null and void in the event of a Sloater appearance for the Detroit Lions.

Speaker 1 I just want to make that caveat.

Speaker 1 And then, my underdog, I like Chicago. I like the Bears to win outright.
I actually think they will. Yeah.
Yeah. Fuck with me.

Speaker 1 That's my entire logic behind this is to just give you a victory that you can't do anything with. And then Nagy will have Club Dub open, and I'll just get very mad.

Speaker 1 I hope, listen, if the Bears win and they do Club Dub, the Bears social media team better fucking tweet it and get a roasting.

Speaker 1 They better. Bring me that tweet.
Do club dub. Give me that tweet.
All right, my underdogs will be the Jaguars, plus seven, because the Falcons, I feel like

Speaker 1 that was their Super Bowl. They won.

Speaker 1 This is also like a musical chair game for hot seats. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So whoever wins this, their coach might come back next season.

Speaker 1 Right. And then I'll take the Cowboys.
Like I said,

Speaker 1 I'm so stupid, but Jerry Jones talking about how the Cowboys could win a Super Bowl. Sure.
Why not? Why not us? Hank, you're over and you're underdog.

Speaker 1 I gave my underdog. Oh, yeah, you're over and you're under.
You're down under.

Speaker 1 My down under

Speaker 1 is going to be the Dolphins and the Bengals.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And my over

Speaker 1 is going to be the Giants and the Redskins. All right.

Speaker 1 Just poop. Is Eli playing? The poop two.
I don't know. Just add the C word in, Hank, for just for authenticity.
Eli Manning. Eloy.
Eli Manning. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank. Er, PFT, give me your over and under.
My over is Arizona, Seattle. I'm taking the big over.
I like it. 51 points.
I like it. I think it's going to be at least 80.

Speaker 1 Two hottest coaches in football. Cliff Kingsbury, Pete Carroll, with the smooth face.

Speaker 1 His face looks like an Instagram filter. Who? Pete Carroll.
Pete Carroll? Yeah. Wrinkly as fuck.
No, he's smooth. Are you talking about his twin?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Hank's thinking about his twin. He's thinking about his twin.

Speaker 1 Pete got Botox. Yeah.
So he's good. And then my under, I'm taking the small under.
I'm taking Buffalo, New England.

Speaker 1 37. Beautiful.

Speaker 1 I like it. It's going to be a 17-10 type guy.
I like it. All right.
I'm going to piggyback on your over with the Cardinals and the Seahawks. And I have a stat for you for my under

Speaker 1 from

Speaker 1 my friend Tony Martino. You can follow him on Twitter.
Mike Tomlin. Cleet Blakeman, yeah.
Mike Tomlin, in the last five years,

Speaker 1 he is 23 and 4 to the under when the Steelers are favored on the road. Okay.
That seems significant. Yeah.
That seems significant. So under 37.5 will be my play there.
Okay. That seems like a lot.

Speaker 1 I like that. Also, trouble in paradise in the Watt household.
I don't know if you've been keeping track, but

Speaker 1 Pro Football Focus put out their ratings of defensive ends, minimum of like 200 snaps or whatever.

Speaker 1 TJ Watt got graded out at like 0.6.

Speaker 1 I don't know what their points are called. 0.6 football focus points higher than JJ did.
So we've officially, we're witnessing a torch being passed in the Watt family. Wow.
Okay.

Speaker 1 By the way, breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Duke just lost to Wofford at home. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Is Coach K all right? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Call an ambulance for Coach K. It's an off year for college basketball.
You're right. That breaking moves was brought to you by Chaco Milk for real recovery.
That tastes real good. And moving on.

Speaker 1 It's an off year for college basketball. I love it.
Now, they lost to him at home

Speaker 1 if the game was only four minutes long. Sorry, yeah.
Swaffers up on the hill. It's 9-7 and four minutes into the game.
But they would have lost if the game was only four minutes long, Hank.

Speaker 1 That's true. And my boy O'Connell.
Actually,

Speaker 1 now it's tied fuck. No, it's 9-8.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's 9-8.
All right. What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.
How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

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Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
All right, this is going to be our last Fantasy Fuck Boys of the Year. Let's finish it strong.
Let's get it.

Speaker 1 This is it.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, everyone's doing well in their championship game.

Speaker 1 What's up, boys? It's Arrivedechi Don Julio.

Speaker 1 My starter this week is dogs. Yeah, yeah.
The fuck out. Rams, Raiders, Eagles, Panthers.
Put it in a pole. Get some money in your pocket for this holiday season.

Speaker 1 on your bullshit like it. My sitim is cats.

Speaker 1 Jason Derulo's Anaconda can't save this shitty fucking movie. It's getting terrible reviews.
No one likes it. Taylor Swift fucking looks like a creepy weirdo and everyone hates cats in general.

Speaker 1 Watch it.

Speaker 1 Watch it. Cats are horny.
Watch it.

Speaker 1 Swift kick in the face is what she needs. Whoa.
My sleeper is oddbok. Just calm down there, Creeper.

Speaker 1 Especially Arthur the Oddbok. Very educational guy one of my best friends growing up i spent a lot of time watching him oddbock not enough time sneaky good animals

Speaker 1 yo what's up fuckheads this is philippi fuck you omama i'm starting george kittle that's right starting george kittle

Speaker 1 craig kittle

Speaker 1 don't know if you saw the article by a good friend kevin clock he's got a red sticker that he puts on his arm when he's playing shitty and he slaps it and he's it's a reset button for himself yeah he thinks he's a fucking video game well i tell you what he's a cheat code i'm starting that motherfucker i'm sitting the meteor that's right the meteor that killed all those dinosaurs the media back and turned that meteor

Speaker 1 turns out that meteor had a little help because all the dinosaurs were sick that meteor turns out was soft as your mama's meatball mainstream media

Speaker 1 that media was a fraud I'm sleeping Coughlin time. That's right.
All the clocks in the Jaguars facility, first thing they they did, they put them on real time, moved them up five minutes.

Speaker 1 That's right. No more coffee time down in Jacksonville.
The team is going to be playing with significant speed upgrades. All right, what's up, guys? It's Luca Brazzi.

Speaker 1 You might know me from Godfather when I got choked out. My stardom is

Speaker 1 the fishes.

Speaker 1 My stardom is the fishes. It's not just sleeping with the fishes.
I'm talking about the Italian feast, Christmas Eve, the seven fishes. Too many fish.
Too many fish. I love them.
I love them.

Speaker 1 My fucking mouth. My cinema is JK Rowling.
She got canceled today. I don't know why.
She's a turf. I have no idea why.
She doesn't like transsexuals. She doesn't like the best.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, okay. All right.
My sleep room is Muppets. Bailing Football used Muppets for all their announcements on signing day.
It was creepy. It was weird, but it got the people going.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love Big Bird.
I like the whole Jim Hinson thing. Like, anything with strings on it.
That's where I'm coming from. I have Grimmett's Burger.
Whoa. I didn't know you had that in you.

Speaker 1 Me neither.

Speaker 1 Do it again.

Speaker 1 This is... The J.K.
Rowling thing

Speaker 1 is a sign that. She just said what her opinion was.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Got to hear both sides. Go on.

Speaker 1 No, I don't really know that much of it. Seek water.
No.

Speaker 1 I want to hear Hank explain turfs and why they might be problematic.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know what... I just saw J.K.
Rowling was trending, and then I saw she was canceled, and I didn't look further because

Speaker 1 the internet moves too fast.

Speaker 1 Hand up. It moves too fast.
Like, I didn't even know there was a new jackass until today. Yeah, me neither.
It got announced yesterday. Yeah.
I love jackass. Love those guys.

Speaker 1 Is it going to be featuring the same guys? I hope not because they're old. Oh, I think it is.
And it's going to be sad. They've taken too many people.
Damn, I'm going to be in it. Is it funny watching

Speaker 1 a 60-year-old get hit in the nuts? I don't know, but baby. Oh, yeah, that's what they did that.
There's going to be some really dark underground. Like, it's all the same guys.

Speaker 1 They don't need the prosthetics anymore yeah someone's gonna be in the hospital we're still doing this and also if it's coming out in 2021 that means they probably haven't filmed it yet so talk about sunday scaries for like pontias and bam margarin being like well got to do this again got to go get hit in the nuts 500 times for people what do you think their like hair clipper budget is on that film oh my god i that

Speaker 1 I'm thinking about some of the things that they're going to do. The cactus.
And Knoxville's. Knoxville's an insane person.
They always talk about how he loves getting hurt.

Speaker 1 Like, he laughs when he gets hurt. What I do appreciate about the jackass movies is you can play them for any culture in the world.

Speaker 1 You could sit, that's instead of doing like a war or something with a country that we don't like, you should sit down with a Taliban and say, hey, watch this movie. Watch this movie.

Speaker 1 And just all, everyone sits around and has a good laugh at Chris Pontius getting bit by a snake on his dick. Right.

Speaker 1 Watch Pontius put on this huge mask while Steve-O shits down a funnel and then he pukes on himself. Everyone's no matter what culture you live in, you will laugh while watching.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, I'm so happy Jackass back. And then the last thing to clean up from there.
So I read that article as well about Greg Kittle. The reset button, he actually has a reset button on his arm.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And he has a Joker tattoo that he likes to slap, too. It was so funny.
So

Speaker 1 reading this article was great because it gave a little insight into the mind of Greg Kittle and how he decided to turn it on because he was like a soft tight end when he first started playing at at Iowa.

Speaker 1 And he considered himself soft. His coaches considered him soft.
And then one day, he realized: here's the quote: Wow, I get it.

Speaker 1 If you just run at people, they just kind of tend to get out of your way. It's that simple.

Speaker 4 It's perfect.

Speaker 1 It's perfect. And that's what he's been doing ever since.
And he also gave us a lot of credit for his Canada boys. Yeah, he just does it all.
Which apparently he thinks that he's Canadian now.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 1 Greg Kittle being like the best tight end in the league is one of the best stories of 2019.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview with Jorge Masvedal. Badest motherfucker alive.
I also like Greg Kittle's gray undershirt that he wears. It goes down like halfway down the five.

Speaker 1 He's Patrick Ewing. Yeah, he's got a thing.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 5 Get Uber One for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats.
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Speaker 5 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 1 And here is Jorge Masvedal.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on the baddest motherfucker alive. It is Jorge Masvedal.
Is that cool? Does that ever get old, having people introduce you as the baddest motherfucker alive?

Speaker 4 Um, no.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was trying to think about if I had any awkward scenarios, even like on first dates where the girlfriend's introducing me to the mother, and she's like, Mom, this is that bad motherfucker I was telling you about.

Speaker 1 Then you get the eyes. You're like, Wait, what? Okay, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you know,

Speaker 4 I was trying to think of a bad scenario, but no, it hasn't got born yet.

Speaker 1 There isn't. Yeah, you are the baddest motherfucker alive.
That's the coolest belt you can win. You won it against Nate Diaz in November.
I think most people remember that fight.

Speaker 1 It happened right here, happened three blocks away. So it's great to have you here.

Speaker 4 I want to talk about a bunch of different stuff but do you first thing I wanted to actually ask is do you actually have the belt is there a baddest motherfucker belt oh yeah it's at a safe place it's not in my house because motherfuckers is too wild in Miami I don't need a fucking home invasion someone trying to get this belt and me have to shoot somebody in the head so the belt's not in my house it's stat somewhere nice and safe right where I can get to it if I need to because if someone If someone, if you were leaving at your house and they robbed it from your house, they do become the baddest motherfucker alive.

Speaker 4 Yeah, in a sense, yeah, because you took it from me.

Speaker 1 Right, right, exactly.

Speaker 4 But if you come, if that belt is at my house, besides the fact that you got to get through the hounds first,

Speaker 4 and then I got guns and my dad's got guns. The hounds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what kind of hounds are we talking about?

Speaker 4 I got three hounds, three different dogs. And I'm not getting into detail of them because I don't want people knowing what type of poison to feed them.
But I got three mean hounds.

Speaker 1 I just roll with like bacon bits and sausage in my pockets. Just hot links.

Speaker 4 That might work for the first two waves of them, but the third one don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 Just scoop a peanut butter to show up.

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 the third third one is a fucking killer, man.

Speaker 1 I'm like the dog whisperer, though. I'm fairly confident I could handle your hounds, but then the bullets would be an issue for me.

Speaker 4 The bullets would be an issue for me. I'm not a bullet whisperer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I don't know how to handle that.

Speaker 1 So you did beat the shit out of Nate Diaz. Yes, sir.
That was nice.

Speaker 1 When you cut him open, did you look at that cut and say, hey, how many beers? That thing's looking good.

Speaker 1 That thing's looking pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have fucked that cut on his head. His face.
Yeah. I mean, you fucked his face other ways.

Speaker 4 I heard a couple of terminologies. The vagina cut that he had in his face.
That's a pretty good one, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I was always wondering this, for a fight like Nate Diaz, it felt like there was no real bad blood between you guys because there was mutual respect.

Speaker 1 Is it harder to get up for a fight where you don't actually hate the guy on the other side?

Speaker 4 Hate, no, hate doesn't really

Speaker 4 motivate me. What motivates me, what gets me to train a little bit harder is a lot of times

Speaker 4 if you dislike the guy, it does help. But if I'm fighting somebody that I like like Nate at the time I not that I like him but I respect his skill set

Speaker 4 I I know that the reason why I respect him is because he beats up world-class individuals he beats up fighters but he's not going to do it to me so that alone is enough motivation to wake up at whatever time I got to wake up at run diet swim lift weights punch people in the face and repeat the process as many times as it takes because I always appreciated that that specific fight but it happens all the time in the fight game where two guys uh respect each other and they don't fake it they're not trying to fake that like there's bad beef, you know, bad blood between them.

Speaker 1 And I always wondering, like, could you actually get to that next level if you don't truly despise the person and want to like crush them?

Speaker 4 I think certain athletes, they need it. You know, certain athletes want to feel like their life is on the line.

Speaker 4 Manhood is on the line, you know. And it does help for training sessions.
Maybe you were a little beat up and you didn't want to go.

Speaker 4 You want to stay home, but you're like, no, no, no, no, I got to go to the gym. I'm not losing this dude to this individual.
So it definitely helps.

Speaker 4 But I don't always need it. Me personally, if I have it or I don't, it depends on the on the guy.
Am I fighting a guy that comes to fight that motivates me to train?

Speaker 4 Then I'm going to train my ass off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And like an example of kind of going against that was the fight. Was it last weekend? Was that when Covington fought? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he got so he gets knocked out, gets his jaw broken, and sprints out of the octagon. Sprints out.
Just runs through the whole. I'm assuming you've never done that.

Speaker 1 You don't seem like a guy that would end a fight in that fashion.

Speaker 4 And not crying either. I ain't leaving that bitch crying, man.

Speaker 1 Fuck that.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 Is that something that's going to like, is that going to stick with him for the rest of his career like you're the dude that just ran out i don't think you could ever erase that other people could i think could walk out of the cage run out of the cage crying people will forgive him but this dude has made literally his career because he he's not a fighter he's made his career off bashing people off bashing even the fans in the sport over and over calling him virgin snowflake i don't know yeah he's he like he it's all hate you're right he just and it's promoted to get a reaction out of you he calls us marks you know anybody that...

Speaker 4 Oh, shut up, Kobe. That wasn't nice.
Oh, you're a Mark. I got a reaction out of you.
So now he's mad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Triggered.
Yeah, that's true. That's how he cried.
Now you're mad. You're mad.
It's true.

Speaker 4 But this dude went on social media and shut down his post so you can't post on his comments. You can't comment on his comments.

Speaker 4 And then he started reporting people.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. So he's triggered.
So he's triggered. He's the final boss of trigger.
He's done.

Speaker 4 He's the final boss of trigger.

Speaker 1 He is. He's done.
He's triggered himself.

Speaker 4 We're making the t-shirt and we're going to get rich off his face.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 you're absolutely right.

Speaker 4 I don't think he has another move you can you can't if if i'm making a living off getting reactions out of people now people are like no but his jaw is broken now that it's the best time to do it i think yes absolutely he would do that to you if he would just he would do that to anybody and

Speaker 4 if he was just to attack the people in my weight i'd be like all right you know i get it he's in that competitive mode for everybody he could fight i could i could kind of see that relation but when you're attacking women when you're attacking 125 pounders when you're attacking heavyweights you're just trying to get your name out there you're a fucking joke you're a clown you'll say anything for a clickbait for a headlines so you deserve what happened to you you deserve to be a fucking meme for all of eternity people seeing you walk out you know

Speaker 4 the forester fun if he gets on the personal side that could always happen if he was to be in the studio right now and he just happened to pop his head in there i'd be like yo give me a second i'll be back guys and i'll go take care of his ass it's not it's on site with him right now it's always on site with this individual but on on the business side this motherfucker don't deserve to be there you just got your jaw broken by a guy that i'm about to crucify in front of the world

Speaker 4 i'm about to baptize Usman when that fight happens. And people are going to know me and Kobe don't belong ever in the same cage together, you know?

Speaker 1 I love the term baptizing somebody.

Speaker 1 What's the difference between beating somebody's ass and baptizing them?

Speaker 4 I'll give you some examples. When you get baptized, you go to this.

Speaker 4 There's different baptisms. Let me get straightened this out.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Jesus, the real Jesus, baptizes you. You go to heaven, my brother.

Speaker 4 If you get somewhat unlucky and street Jesus baptizes you, you're in the shadow realm, my brother. But you could come back a better person from the shadow realm.

Speaker 1 True. You can learn from it.

Speaker 4 You've already, people have seen it. People are coming back.
Better people have to send them to the shadow realm.

Speaker 4 So you go to the shadow realm, and if you do come back, you usually come back a better person. Not everybody, but most come back a better person.
Look at Ben. Do some hard things.

Speaker 4 Ben came back a better person.

Speaker 1 Ben Askren, who I was.

Speaker 4 He still came back a better person, man. He's ranked at 85 now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So do you feel good if you baptize somebody into the shadow realm and then they come back a better person?

Speaker 4 Or are you like, fuck, I messed up because now if I mess up, I just, you know, refigure the formula, send them back to the shadow realm.

Speaker 1 Yeah, nobody. And then you help them because

Speaker 1 twice. Yeah, if they come back from the shadow realm a better person, that was your doing.

Speaker 1 Who else is who?

Speaker 4 Who can tell us what's going on when somebody's knocked the fuck out of an outer space? Where are they?

Speaker 1 Right. No.
Where the fuck is consciousness still on? It's like the upside down. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm like a stranger. I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 I don't know exactly, but what I do know is I'm sending them to the shadow realm.

Speaker 4 Because I've asked questions to some of the survivors and they've told me the things they've seen and things they've seen.

Speaker 1 Wait, you've asked people.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to get in detail.

Speaker 1 That was the shadow realm that I saw.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to get in detail, but I pull up the high level. video.
Look, at minute number seven of you snoring away into deep space, we're Warrior Three.

Speaker 1 I was going through. Did you see me? Yeah.
Did you see an aura of me? Was David Bowie there? Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 So you bring up Ben Askren, your knockout, your flying knee kick knockout five seconds into the fight. Did you work out after that? Were you like, fuck, man?

Speaker 1 I put in all this time and it only lasted five seconds. I would be pissed.
Right. Like, man, 12 weeks.

Speaker 1 I didn't need to do all that work to just put him in the shadow realm five seconds in 12-week training camp every day, Monday through

Speaker 4 not it wasn't always Monday through Saturday because sometimes it'd be Sunday if I was a little beat up Friday I'd take Saturday off, but it was a good consistent six to seven days a week just getting after getting after getting after and after the five-second thing That's why I was still a little hyped.

Speaker 4 I was still running around the cage like just taunting him because I was like man you talk too much. You should have lasted a little longer than five seconds.

Speaker 4 But I wasn't that mad because I broke the record.

Speaker 1 Okay, so but afterwards, did you like, let me go get a jogging? Because like I got to feel it before I go to the club, like I got to get some kind of sweat.

Speaker 4 We need to put him in the corner, man. This guy keeps me fucking in shape.

Speaker 1 You got to get some kind of sweat.

Speaker 4 Some type of sweat, man.

Speaker 1 That basically was an off date for you.

Speaker 4 It was an off date. I'm telling you, it was

Speaker 4 the warm-up literally was longer than the fight.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 And now everybody else that you fight has to respect, like, right out of the gate, in the back of their head, you know, every dude you're fighting is like, shit, he's about to knee me in my head.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 If Nate would have stayed in the train tracks, he would have gotten

Speaker 4 out of rewired his nerves as well. You know, I was going to go for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put him there. You were actually going to, because I saw the beginning of that fight.
It looked like you were kind of fainting at that, like doing it almost like a joke.

Speaker 1 Like, remember last time, but you were actually going to go through with it.

Speaker 4 If he gave me the right reads as I was approaching the move, I pull the trigger on it. You know, there's no really half-assed joking it with me.
I'm really going for it now.

Speaker 4 He moved, he recognized the move before I could execute it. Okay, kudos to you, you know.
But if he stayed on the tracks, I would have taken his head with me.

Speaker 1 So that fight specifically, the Nate fight, Nate is a very like exceptional type of fighter that he gets stronger as the rounds go on.

Speaker 1 When you're fighting someone like that, where you know maybe he's not like first, second round, he's not going to give you everything he has, and you got to be ready for the war of five rounds.

Speaker 1 Do you then change how you do it? And like, hey, I got to save something in the tank if we get to five rounds and he's getting stronger.

Speaker 4 That's a very interesting take on it. And this is how my mind works, especially now.
Back then, I would have seen it a couple different ways, but the more I think about it, the more I think about me.

Speaker 4 I'm sure you guys are not worried about the next radio show, who they're interviewing, what they're talking about.

Speaker 4 You guys are worried about you, about your content, about doing whatever you're doing. So I worry about me, and

Speaker 4 I just go out there and perform. I get in the best shape possible.
There is somewhat of a strategy. You know, let's circle this way.
Let's kick that way. Let's punch like this.

Speaker 4 But the rest is up to you. Go and have fun.
That's usually what the strategies are like. So when I go out there, I don't want to think you're good in the fourth and fifth round.

Speaker 4 and i only have these first three rounds no i'm gonna kick your ass every chance that i get because i'm just as dangerous in the fourth and fifth round i'm only thinking about me and the things that i could do you know right i i try not to worry about what joe blow's doing and who he's blowing and shit like that i've always wondered this about fighters is there an element of you that that enjoys pain that enjoys getting punched or you just want to inflict as much damage on the other guy i definitely want to inflict as much damage as the other guy but me and my manager were talking because he just went to the dentist the other day and i I didn't know that I was the only one that enjoyed this.

Speaker 4 I don't mind going to the dentist, I don't mind that pain in the gums when that

Speaker 4 I don't know why it tickles me. I like it.

Speaker 1 Brutal, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 I don't know. It's just a fucking weird feeling.

Speaker 1 You're one of those guys that you're so smart. You get hit in the face and you smile.
You're like, oh, yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 That, that, yeah, because you get that, at least, especially me, that's when you get Hulk-like mode.

Speaker 4 You get adrenaline release, you know, just a little bit of it, and all of a sudden everything's moving slow motion, and you don't feel nothing.

Speaker 4 You're ready to go, you know. So, I love that feeling.

Speaker 1 Damn, That's yeah, I wish I liked it. You can't relate.

Speaker 1 I hate getting punched in the face, so I'm going to go on record. Yeah,

Speaker 4 I'm not a fan of getting punched in the face, especially on TV. So I've gotten really good at dodging them.
But when I do get hit, you got the dog coming your way.

Speaker 1 Got the dog.

Speaker 1 What did The Rock say to you before your fight with Nate Diaz? You talked to him, right? Did he punch him?

Speaker 4 Before the fight, we talked in the day of the Wayne's.

Speaker 4 We had a little chat, but after the fight is when we got to talk a little bit more, and he gave me some advice just on entertainment, things that he's done, things things that I'm doing you know and it was just like a lot of good advice you know it's not every day you get to talk to the rock you know yeah what was the advice like do a million movies with Kevin Hart and make a billion dollars like what kind of advice can the rock give someone on entertainment

Speaker 1 be the best like be the most electric wrestler of all time and then go and be the most electric like movie guy and be six foot seven can can you can you uh be reborn be six foot seven 320 pounds

Speaker 1 post a bunch of uh cheap meals on instagram that you don't actually eat yeah i i would like to get advice from The Rock on how to be better at business and just have him be like, Yeah, so here's what you got to do.

Speaker 1 You got to be in a bunch of movies, you make a billion dollars, and then you're awesome.

Speaker 1 You also have to be super charismatic, and everyone has to love you and get a private jet and fly your mom all over the country.

Speaker 1 It's sick.

Speaker 4 And be able to do backflips at like 300 or something.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. Yes, yes, that too.

Speaker 1 I saw also that you snuck into an ancient pyramid. What was up with that? That's pretty cool.
Talk about Shadow Realm.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I didn't even think that that was possible. One of the guys that we were with, we were like, oh, shit, look.
And we were talking about it jokingly. Like, I wonder what's on these tunes.

Speaker 4 Because we were seeing there's ways. And then we saw one that nobody was guarding.
And we could go in. But there was bats in there.
So we didn't get that far.

Speaker 4 And we went maybe like, I don't know, 20, 30 feet. There's bats.

Speaker 1 very visible light so we just we went get bit by a bat though then you become batman and then you just start killing everyone i was gonna say how batman started vampire spider-man spider-man

Speaker 1 you're thinking of becoming like a vampire like becoming dracula essentially yeah and then you're the best fighter suck everybody's blood It's just as long as you fight at night, though.

Speaker 1 Right, that's the night. You can't fight in the day.

Speaker 1 That's a good point. Unless you're the day walker.
Oh, don't fuck with those guys. Yeah, we could do that too.

Speaker 1 Conor McGregor wants to fight you. Yeah.
Yeah. What do you think about him?

Speaker 4 I want to rearrange his face. I wouldn't mind.

Speaker 4 I wouldn't mind collecting a nice check and whooping his ass because that's a bad motherfucker. You know, take nothing from the man.
He's got two belts at 145 pounds, 155 pounds.

Speaker 4 Not easy weights to win at.

Speaker 4 And both times that he won the belt, it was just unquestioned it was no opposition no no no fighting really it was just he went in and did what he wanted and came home with the belt so i would definitely like to fight him man what about uh do you think there's any problem with the fact that like you might be too young for him because i i saw that video where he like just punched an old guy do you think maybe you're too young to fight him now like he's more of like a 60 plus division yeah like in the 50 to like 72 ranks guys at bars no and at bar at bars he's undefeated you know so if i gotta if i gotta start the

Speaker 4 fight hype at a bar, go to his nearby bar and challenge him. That would be good.

Speaker 1 Start drinking some Jameson in his face.

Speaker 4 No, no, we don't drink no Jameson. I drink Mescal, man.

Speaker 1 Mescal, so he'll offer you his Irish whiskey and just say no, and then it's on. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what triggered the last fight, right?

Speaker 1 Some 70-year-old didn't want to get hammered drunk on his head. You're going to drink my whiskey? How dare you? Yeah, that's just.

Speaker 1 Fight is on. So you say.

Speaker 4 Honor, I'm not going to drink.

Speaker 1 In Ireland, legally, that's how you start a fight. It's like a duel slapping somebody in the face.
In Ireland, it's like, I'm not going to get drunk with you. Yeah, exactly.
No thanks.

Speaker 4 Let me just say this on there, because we're going. Connor, I will not drink your whiskey.

Speaker 1 I will refuse to drink your whiskey.

Speaker 4 On the record.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's a fight. That's an official fight.
Connor, I will drink your whiskey if you pay for us to do a promo deal.

Speaker 1 Yes, Connor, I have drank your whiskey before because you gave money to my company.

Speaker 1 And I was doing that. I was bought and sold.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Again, I don't like getting punched in the face. Jorge, if you want to give us money, we will drink your mezcal.

Speaker 1 Do you even have a mezcal? Let's do it for you. Yeah, I do have a mezcal.
You grab it?

Speaker 4 It's coming to America in January.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, you talk to us or, yeah, just talk to us directly. Just give us cash, and we will be like.
Cash works? Cash is cash.

Speaker 4 Cash is king.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 Maybe a lot of people like that fucking credit card shit, paper trail. I'd rather cash.

Speaker 1 Yeah, cash. How much cash you got on you?

Speaker 4 Right now? Yeah. I can't say a lot of people listening to me.

Speaker 1 No one's listening to me. But you got down.

Speaker 4 Talking about

Speaker 4 this recorded.

Speaker 1 Well, shit. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I got just a little bit of a drink.

Speaker 1 I'm getting mean looks from his guys. Like, don't say it.
Don't say it. Don't fucking say it.
Who's the most famous person on your cell phone?

Speaker 4 Most famous person on my cell phone?

Speaker 1 Brock.

Speaker 1 Fucking.

Speaker 1 Stu Gotts.

Speaker 4 Stu Gots, man. Yeah.
Yeah. Khabib.

Speaker 1 Stu Gots. Oh, Khabib.

Speaker 1 The game. The game.
The game?

Speaker 1 You talking about Triple H? No. Oh.

Speaker 1 Rap of the game.

Speaker 1 That's what I meant.

Speaker 4 I was going to say the rap of the city. One of of my exes was a prom queen.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah? That's pretty famous.

Speaker 4 You're a winner. In Miami, so she's got to be somewhat famous, right? That's true.

Speaker 1 That's hotter than anywhere else in the world. Miami is the hottest city in America.
Do you think that Miami have the most attractive people there?

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 in some aspects, yeah, for sure. Because we got...
summer year-round, right? So while girls take that little break, I don't need to go to the gym that much because it's winter.

Speaker 4 Our girls are down there getting it, you know? Yeah. But every place has beautiful places, you know.
I've been spoiled, obviously, because I'm from Miami.

Speaker 4 We also got a lot of the models and the tourists that come by and the women that stay there year-round in shape. But I love New York too, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I've always wondered in Miami when you're just walking around, do you ever see like a Brazzers camera crew just hanging out on the sidewalk?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know. I know.
Bang bus.

Speaker 1 You accidentally. They know me.
They know me well. Oh, shit.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I have one last question. Seeky question.
Promo code take. Go see Jorge's next fight.
When is your next fight?

Speaker 4 We're working on it. Hopefully, by January 18th.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 We'll have a

Speaker 1 date set.

Speaker 4 A date set after January 18th.

Speaker 1 All right. So when you save up and use SeatGeek, promo code TAKE and Go See Jorge beat the shit out of someone, put them in the shadow realm.
What's your street fighting record?

Speaker 1 I got a lot of street fights.

Speaker 1 You grew up street fighting, right? Damn right. So

Speaker 1 did you take any L's or were you mostly wins?

Speaker 4 I never been knocked out.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 I never gave up. That's okay.
I did take some beatings and then guys gave up because they got tired and I kept punching them in the face. So I always felt like I fucking won, you know.

Speaker 4 Much like the ray fight, it happens a lot like that. That it's just, we're going, you're going, you're going, and one guy does not give a fuck.

Speaker 4 You can see this one guy's just, you're going to have to kill me, or I'm going to keep coming.

Speaker 1 You lost on the scorecard, but you didn't win with heart.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, and in the street, you just go to somebody gives up. So in the fight, game in the street, I've never lost to an opponent.
That's pretty like 15-16 fights. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's more badass than the badass motherfucker belt. Thank you, sir.
Yeah. Have you ever had somebody that you beat in a street fight come back from the shadow realm to be like, thank you.

Speaker 1 You taught me a lesson. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Actually, fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 Many of people, you know. How fast could you choke us out? Everyone? Choke out? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 The four of us. Or strikes or just choke.
Because choke take a little longer. I got to set it in.
I got to wait two, three seconds. But if we're talking strikes, what do you weigh?

Speaker 1 220, 30.

Speaker 1 190.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you guys got about 38 seconds to live.

Speaker 4 38 seconds.

Speaker 1 six of us are now in here.

Speaker 1 Take your guys out of here.

Speaker 4 Yeah, obviously they're with me.

Speaker 1 No, they leave.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. They leave, and it's like, Jorge, you got to get out the door, and we're going to try to stop you.

Speaker 4 Wait, who's going to try to stop me? How many guys? Six of us. Right here.
Camera guy. Camera guy.

Speaker 1 Camera guy.

Speaker 4 Two, three, four, five, six.

Speaker 4 How long does it take? You guys better pray real hard. And if you don't believe in God, you better find God.

Speaker 1 I'll say hello to God in the shadow realm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ain't enough of you you in the world. You want me to take anything? You want me to send a message when you put me in the shadow realm? You want to tell anyone a message?

Speaker 4 No, no. If anything, take your camera with you so people can know about it.
When you come back, you show them.

Speaker 1 It'll be like contact. You get back and it's 18 hours of static that you have to testify for.
You just show up and they're like, why are you here?

Speaker 1 It's like, well, we were interviewing Jorge and shit got a little heated. So Jorge, you're in another shadow realm.
They're familiar with you. Just checking in, just saying hello.
Happy holidays.

Speaker 1 You know, the whole thing.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Jorge, thank you so much.
Good luck. Thank you guys for having me.
Next five. motherfucker.
Let us know. We're Jorge guys now.

Speaker 4 Thank you guys, man. I had to come onto the show for you guys.

Speaker 1 Well, we were supposed to have Nate Diaz on the show before the fight, but he canceled because he missed his flight.

Speaker 4 Oh, so not only am I

Speaker 4 like a second choice.

Speaker 1 I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 We didn't know you were an option before the fight. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm like, what do you call the

Speaker 4 second-hand guy? I'm JV from the second hand guy.

Speaker 1 No, I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I put Nate Diaz on the street.

Speaker 4 After I whooped his ass, they're like, all right, you're a guy.

Speaker 1 Hank's a big Nate Diaz guy.

Speaker 1 And I was telling Hank, I was like, Hank. Yeah, he looks like a Nate Diaz.
He's got too much camera.

Speaker 1 No, he's got too much.

Speaker 1 I am a warrior hat. That's where the guy never wore the list.

Speaker 1 I never wore that hat. I never wore that hat.
You're from here, from New York, and you're cheering for Nate, man. Yeah, I'm never from Massachusetts, but he gave me this hat.
I never wore that hat.

Speaker 1 The cat gave me this hat. I was like, Nate Diaz sent this to me.
I want you to wear it because we want Nate Diaz. This is what I say.
This is what I'm going to say. Jorge, listen.

Speaker 1 You have a shadow realm. We have a shadow realm with guests.
Nate Diaz is in our shadow realm though. Makes sense.
I'm baptized. He's gone.
Damn, the baptizers. Until he comes back again.

Speaker 1 The baptizers of radio world.

Speaker 1 Until he comes back with a lot of weed and he's like, You guys want to smoke? Then he'll let him out of the shadow realm. You want to know a little secret? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I got more weed than him.

Speaker 1 Really? Of course, no.

Speaker 1 Badass motherfucker. You beat him again.
Yeah, damn it.

Speaker 1 I'm scarfacing you.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Oh, man.
Thanks so much. Thanks.
Go smoke a bowl out of a leaf blower tomorrow. That'll be nice.

Speaker 6 That interview with Jorge Masvedal was brought to you by the Pro Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 6 Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

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Speaker 1 All right, we're going to wrap it up quickly here. We got a Fire Fest, we got FAQs.
Just another reminder, if you missed it, but we will have a show on Sunday night. We will have week 16.

Speaker 1 We will have week 17. We're live reactions.
We're not going to miss a week of the football season. Not for you.

Speaker 1 So make sure you download and re-download and also go up to your parents and download on their phones.

Speaker 1 We will make the graphic. I kind of forgot about it till right now, but we will make the graphic stalking stuffer give the gift of part of my take

Speaker 1 this Christmas. Yes.
We'll tweet that out. Put it on Instagram today.
But make sure the holiday shows you do extra downloads because we're coming in for you people on Sunday night. Sunday night.

Speaker 1 We would have come in anyway because we're pretty much addicted to football.

Speaker 1 Firefest.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 my Fire Fest. This is your last of the year.
It is my last of the year. Earlier today, we were talking about it.
We'll be here next week. Just to another point.
Here, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Do you want to do yours first? Because mine might have something to do with you. No.
Oh, you sure? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
You sure? Yeah, yeah. You sure.
Go ahead. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 I would like you to go first. No, no, I don't want to.
Go ahead. Why? Because I want you to go.
Go ahead. I want you.
Please. Nope.

Speaker 1 All right. My Fire Fest is Hank won't go first.
All right. My Fire Fest.
Big Cat. We were talking about Jumpsuit earlier today.
And Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's my Fire talking about how stressed he was about Jumpsuit January. Yes.

Speaker 1 So I decided to get, since we, you know, we give each other presents on this podcast, I went out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all the time. Oh, shit.
I didn't get you anything.

Speaker 1 I got you guys some gifts. Whoa, you got us jumpsuits?

Speaker 1 When did you go out and do this? Wow, Hank, that's really nice. Wait, nope.
Switches matter. We'll just wear whichever one.
When did did you use it? Now, Hank, did you use your own money on this?

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 Great rapper. Do you have money?

Speaker 1 You got me Adidas jumpsuit.

Speaker 1 Oh, this looks sick, Hank. Thank you.
A green one. Green is my least favorite color.
Oh, he got me a... Wait, that one's way nicer than mine.
Thanks, Hank. This is cool.
Oh, this one's actually cool.

Speaker 1 But, Big Cat, if you look at the jacket of that second one... Yeah.
You will notice that the person at the store forgot to take off the metal thing.

Speaker 1 So I can't. No, no, not the button.
Oh, it's on there still somehow. So it looks like it's a good one.
So you gave me. Wait, let me see yours.
Hank, so you're giving me. So you got PFT a better one.

Speaker 1 That's literally the same exact one. No, mine's mine.
I look like a traffic cone. So my anxiety is not doing better.
This is a traffic cone. I like this one.

Speaker 1 It says 1940 on it, which is probably going to be the score of the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Damn it good food. Thank you, Hank.

Speaker 1 All right, so I guess I'll talk about my Fire Fest. And then this, oh, a really cool run DMC purple.
Those are nice. Go Deuce.
I appreciate it. I have severe anxiety about Jumpsuit January.

Speaker 1 And this is obviously a problem that people will scoff at because not everyone can wear a jumpsuit all week, all month. But my problem is I need to buy new jumpsuits.
PFT is changing.

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice meundis. Thank you.
T-Rex. You look like a four-year-old.

Speaker 1 I mean, I do too. I'm going to take off my pants.
Just the size of my pants.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I'm very nervous about Jumpsuit January because I like a specific style. The like tight jogger style pants and the tight sweatshirt, and I can't find it anywhere.

Speaker 1 And I'm nervous about everything. And yeah, this is basically the lamest problem ever.
I'm very excited about Jumpsuit January. It's my favorite month of the year.
Me too.

Speaker 1 That's why it's my favorite month of the year as well. And when Big Cat was talking negatively, I was so

Speaker 1 bad that

Speaker 1 I wanted to help your stress. And apparently I did not.
In this macho world,

Speaker 1 in this macho world we live in, it's okay for men to talk about their mental health. That's true.
Hank, these are great

Speaker 1 joggers. You like Jumpsuit Jane Jesus because you do Jumpsuit January all year.
That's my style.

Speaker 1 In fact, I was thinking maybe a feature. I really enjoyed last year.
I started to like wearing the suits. So I might do formal Fridays during Jumpsuit January this year.
So yeah, that's my Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 And also, I'm not excited for this Bears game. It fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 I've done a double roller coaster of a week where it's like, I was over it and now I'm bad again. And the Packers are going to fuck.
Savage Advertiser. They're bad.
They're frauds.

Speaker 1 My fire fest of the week is I dyed my facial hair and it looks like shit. Yeah.
So that's tough. That was definitely why it looks like shit.
Yeah, absolutely. It looked great until I dyed it.

Speaker 1 And I sat down with Erica today to do like a little review there. Miss Erica.
Miss Erica. I sat down with Miss Erica today.

Speaker 1 And she just looked at me and she goes, what's wrong with your face? And that's always a good thing to hear. I kind of felt bad yesterday because I was like, oh, are you doing like a bit or something?

Speaker 1 Like, it's something. Well, I did do.
I did. I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 because the first time you did it, it was like a joke, like a ha-ha. Like, I'm going to dye my facial hair.
So I was like, oh, you're doing like, this must be for

Speaker 1 reason. It was.
It was on the radio. I did it live on the radio.
So it was totally bit, and not at all because my facial hair grows into blonde. It was just for laughs.
And it looks like shit.

Speaker 1 And I look like I'm Joe Dirt's Gardner. And I went up to so we had.
Did you wash it out? You look like the rookie on the Stanley Cup team, and everyone's like, ugh. So I won the Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 No, you just got to like the third. Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what the Capitals do. So it looks awful, and I forget that it looks awful.
And last night after the company Christmas party, I went to a little after-party at a new bar.

Speaker 1 At the hotel lobby? Booze guy. There was, yeah, Booze Guy.
There was this group of like 60 to 70-year-old women that were there dancing. They go on this like

Speaker 1 they go out twice a year and they go dancing as a group and they looked lonely.

Speaker 1 And I went up to them and I was going to like start talking to them and maybe do like an old-fashioned square dance thing with them or something like that.

Speaker 1 And then the woman turned and she looked at me and she got like the shocked look on her face.

Speaker 1 it's like well i guess i can't even hit on 70 year old woman now wait what are you what if she was just a huge awl and she's like you don't have sunglasses on that's probably what that was what it was

Speaker 1 wait that's that can't be pft his facial hair looks great and he's not wearing sunglasses so what are you gonna do so i think i'm gonna shave it or i'm gonna either either that or just dye it like a more ridiculous i gotta lean in right now i'm in no man's land where you can't tell if i'm looking shitty on purpose or not yet it just looks bad so i either have to go way overboard and make it look awful You know what I might do?

Speaker 1 I might just go straight mustache. Because you're going for the holidays.
You're going to have to talk to every single person and they know you better than anyone.

Speaker 1 They're going to be like, why is your facial hair so dark when you never have in your entire life? So maybe I'll just go mustache tomorrow. Just for a day.
That'll look good. Just for fun.

Speaker 1 That'll look great.

Speaker 1 It looks like, you know what it does look like, actually? If Malcolm Gladwell's head was super glued to my upper lip. Anyways, so my Fire Fest is I'm a bad-looking person right now.

Speaker 1 It was the hair dye. It was the hair dye.
That's all that it is. All right, should we do FAQs? Let's do it.
Hey, PMT, best holiday game memory.

Speaker 1 Football, NFL bowl game, basketball, or any other sports during the holidays. And Big Cat's going to go to Cheese-It Bull.

Speaker 1 Are you doing Christmas Unders again? Oh, I always do Christmas Unders. Got to go Christmas Unders.
Although it's hot on the block. Right.

Speaker 1 It's been hot on the block. But I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it. It's just the first game, right? No, first three games.

Speaker 1 Well, first game, if you want to do first game, and then if you win, just walk away. But you could do first three games.
And if you win, walk away.

Speaker 1 I have to look and see when the games are being played, too. But yeah, Christmas Unders, always.
Cheesebull, great time. Although they fucked up this year.
There's like teams that score.

Speaker 1 So it's not fun.

Speaker 1 My favorite Christmas time sports memory was buying my grandparents $90 seats to go see a Redskins game because they had never been to a football game before and they were big, big fans of the team.

Speaker 1 So I spent $90 on each seat, and then I met up with them after the game, and they said that they couldn't see anything because their seats were directly behind giant cement pillars.

Speaker 1 So they didn't actually get to watch the game.

Speaker 4 Thanks, Dan Snyder. Yep.

Speaker 1 That was a great time. Dick.

Speaker 1 He is the Grinch. Sell the team.
He is the Grinch. I know it's early, but Jeff Fisher has to be the lead favorite for best chemistry takey.

Speaker 1 Every time you interview that man, the chemistry between you guys is off the charts. Given we're upon mock draft

Speaker 1 season, who would be on each of your mock draft boards for best interview chemistry you've had?

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin is always up there. But all the Blakes, really.
I mean, Adam Sandler. Every Blake.
That guy's the coolest guy in the world. Yeah, Adam's our best friend.

Speaker 1 He winked at me. Yeah, he did wink at you.
I saw that. He cupped my balls.
Lindsey Vaughan.

Speaker 1 I thought that. Dan Marino.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Dan Marino hated us.
Jesus Christ. I hope we interview him again this Super Bowl and he's not going to be.
Yeah, no, and we just do it all again. Yeah.
Like we do the song and dance.

Speaker 1 We actually should listen, get the transcript, and just ask the exact same questions, get to the OJ question, and be like, all right, are we done? The others, my others did not like that very quickly.

Speaker 1 On pure chemistry, though, would be Rostein. Yeah.
That was like an interview with a guy where the chemistry came together and it made it a much better thing. I forgot to tell you guys, John Rossine

Speaker 1 gave me a call today. I was on radio, so I didn't pick up, but he left me a voice message.
He said, thank you for having his back and to wish both of you guys and you, Bubba, happy holidays.

Speaker 1 We say Merry Christmas now, Bubba. Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays.
You're allowed to say it now without being arrested. Thanks, John.
Very cool. What's up, FitCat?

Speaker 1 My boss talks about CrossFit every day for about 20 minutes and is trying to convince me me to join his gym. Any tips on how to say no without having him hate me? Thanks.

Speaker 1 I think he's talking about church. Just go once and pull something and

Speaker 1 sue him. Yeah, no, you will.
So you're good.

Speaker 1 Just tell him this. Tell him you're doing your own WADs, and he'll be like, oh, cool, bro.
It's a workout of the world.

Speaker 1 What's the girl name? Like, Shirley or whatever?

Speaker 1 That's a type of workout. No, there's Shirley.

Speaker 1 No, there's different workouts. Thrusters.
No, no, no. They're actually coming up.
Oh, I'm just doing my Shirley. Rabdo.
And it's like squats. What is his name?

Speaker 1 The best part about CrossFit is that they named it

Speaker 1 a life-threatening condition after a clown and called it Uncle Rabdo. And

Speaker 1 if your kidneys aren't processing your muscle fibers, you're not working hard enough. Ask him what his friend or what his Murph time is.
That's what it was. Murph time.

Speaker 1 I love bosses that try to bring you into their side hustle, like, so they can be a boss of you in something besides your real job. Yes.
Like,

Speaker 1 when I worked at a gym back in high school, my boss tried to get me to sign up for her like advocare pyramid scheme whatever thing it was and that was tough to say no to because it's pyramid scheme in my it's the pyramid scheme and one i could make a shitload of money all i have to do is sign up for other people correct and then i'm getting a cut of that revenue yes i i like that though you're right the the hey i i'm not it's not enough for me the boss here let me be the boss somewhere else i'm your boss in all facets of life

Speaker 1 My mom doesn't take It's the Holidays as a good excuse to be drunk all day on Christmas with the whole family over. Boo.

Speaker 1 What should I say? Take your man card. When it inevitably happens.

Speaker 1 I'm drunk, mom. Deal with it is one that usually goes over well.
Just say you have a stressful job and this is your only time to let off some steam. Well, a couple things.
One,

Speaker 1 if you get drunk on eggnog, you're not actually drunk. It's just you're in the holiday spirit.
You're just feeling very cheery.

Speaker 1 So you can't technically get drunk off eggnog or red wine around the holidays. Yeah, and if you keep switching it up, then you can kind of stay off.

Speaker 1 Like, what not to do is get a 30-pack of Bud Light and drink all 30 beers. Drink a few Bud Lights, then switch to wine, then switch to whiskey.
That way you keep them off the trail.

Speaker 1 They don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 1 Also, just talk a lot of politics. And then once you start talking a lot of politics around your family, they'll just wish that you were drunk instead.

Speaker 1 Also, just whip out your bong and be like, Would you rather me do this? That's not a bad idea. Yeah.
How come?

Speaker 1 My brain with marijuana. How come New Year's Day doesn't always fall on a Wednesday/slash Thursday?

Speaker 1 Whose idea was it to switch the day every year and keep us guessing as to whether we could parlay New Year's into a long weekend? Oh, man,

Speaker 1 this is the best

Speaker 1 New Year's Christmas Day combo ever. Oh, yeah.
It is. Wednesday,

Speaker 1 the Wednesday. I mean, Thursday is pretty good too, but man, this is awesome.
We feel so cheated when you get the Saturday or Sunday. Yep.
Which, by the way, just as a heads up, it is coming.

Speaker 1 Eventually, chill, chill, chill. Chill, chill.

Speaker 1 Do we, because it's a leap year, do we skip all the way to Friday next year? So, next, let me see. Let me consult the calendar.
Next.

Speaker 1 January, let's see. Boo.
It is a Friday. No.
New Year's Day is a Friday. Which is not bad.
No, but that means Saturday the next year. And Sunday the next year.
Well, let's not jump ahead to 20.

Speaker 1 We probably won't be alive in 2020. And then there's a leap year again.
Robots will have defeated us all. Yeah, this is.
And we'll be on their binary system of calendar.

Speaker 1 Embrace this because the Wednesday is the best.

Speaker 1 Last one, we'll end it with a late one. Sup, boys, especially South Shore boy Hank.
What is the best way to bring up impeachment around the family these holidays?

Speaker 1 You know, most families, I think, are, they tend to be in lockstep about political issues, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would say the immediate family, but the extended family, I'd say no.

Speaker 1 No. Right, not extended.
I'm saying like Christmas. Your parents.
Extended. Extended.

Speaker 1 Once the aunts and the uncles and the cousins, it gets dicey. How does your kid feel about impeachment?

Speaker 1 He is actually not. He has not released a statement yet.
So kind of a coward. How to speak to your child about impeachment.
Yeah, it's been a tough couple days in my house. He's a bootlicker.

Speaker 1 It's, I mean, you would expect him to at least say something positive or negative at this point. Using his pot.
Two days.

Speaker 1 All I'm saying is I'm very, very glad that people have woken up and decided to kick out that red-faced son of a bitch, Tom Coughlin.

Speaker 1 There we go. Perfect ending.
All right, we'll see everyone on Sunday night. I don't mean that, Tom Coughlin.
I love you, and I love you guys.

Speaker 1 Take a look through my clip like a peephole. After we sexy, you've asked, I'm a free load.
Yeah, hello, hello, it's nice to meet you. Come beat this pussy off like you teach her.

Speaker 1 Young twat, got more extra Easter. Nipples look like pepperoni peas.
Gotta know how to treat this. I like my death dish.
Don't want no dick to got four skin. I'ma have to show you to the door.

Speaker 1 Man, connected to my walls like you're Spider-Man. My saliva don't dry up even by a fan.
You got me caught up in your web. You my Spider-Man.
Suck wearing that noodles off that dick.

Speaker 1 That's my vitamins. Take it, you in, private, private, private.
Let's sit on your private, private, private. I write it while you drive it, driving, driving.
Let you swim in my alley, island.

Speaker 1 Take and you win, private, private, private. Let's sit on your private, private, private.
I ride it while you drive it, driving, driving. Let you swim in my alley, alley, island.

Speaker 1 I run your dick, no marathon. That's a word.
I'ma need a hestaline. Got the match to touch and I don't need a one.
Make the dick come faster than Jimmy John. I suck a part of your ass.

Speaker 1 Just pass me a little cash. Had to show this nigga, I am not a coward.
And this pussy go a hundred mouths per hour. The dick shopping me like it tastes me.
Like a newborn, better spank me.

Speaker 1 Can't suck no dick being lazy. Pussy looks better than Jay-Z.
Connected to my walls like it's Spider-Man. My saliva don't dry up even by a van.
You got me caught up in your web. You my Spider-Man.

Speaker 1 So bring the noodles off that dig. That's my vitamins.
Take and you win private, private, private. Listen on your private, private, private.
I write it while you drive it, drive, drive it.

Speaker 1 I write it while you drive it, drive, drive it. Let you see me in my island, island, island.