Heisman Trophy Winner Joe Burrow, Week 15 Fastest 2 Minutes And Recap

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners.

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Speaker 7 On today's pardon, my take,

Speaker 6 we break our rule, no guest Mondays, for the greatest exception possible.

Speaker 12 It's the Heisman Trophy and the guy who won it in studio, Joe Burrow, not 24 hours after he won the Heisman Trophy on Saturday night.

Speaker 5 He's sitting in Pardon My Take's studio.

Speaker 15 We talk to him. We talk about Coach O.

Speaker 17 We talk about this season, winning the Heisman, everything.

Speaker 19 We also are going to recap every single game.

Speaker 6 A couple great Coach O stories out of Joe To.

Speaker 3 Great ones.

Speaker 20 We're going to recap every game.

Speaker 21 We're going to talk about NFL Week 15.

Speaker 11 We got some things that have, we got some clarity on the league.

Speaker 25 We got some big wins, big losses.

Speaker 11 We're going to do all that in a second.

Speaker 27 But before we do that, Pardon My Take is brought to you by the...

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Speaker 35 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 35 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 35 And then I love to solve the work to be done.

Speaker 35 Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 36 Welcome to Part of My Cake presented by the Cash App.

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Speaker 5 Today is Monday, December 16th,

Speaker 19 and we're doing week

Speaker 34 15.

Speaker 44 We start in Seattle where Tyler locks it up.

Speaker 46 No, you lock it up.

Speaker 47 Wedding crashed a few receptions from Russell Owen Wilson. For the Panthers, they say grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

Speaker 48 And Carolina grieved the loss of Riverboat Ron by riding their motorboating son of a bitch, Christian McCaffrey, who put his face right between two titties.

Speaker 49 Kyle Allen is like that crazy guest who thinks he's part of the family already, but he's really just a stage five clinger.

Speaker 54 Flannel and football.

Speaker 4 That's what Seattle does.

Speaker 6 That was your best recap yet, guys.

Speaker 51 Who let Trey Wingo in the studio?

Speaker 44 Seattle 30, Panthers 24.

Speaker 34 What?

Speaker 6 Pass me that doobie. Whoop, whoop, whoop.

Speaker 56 In snowy Kansas City, where Nancy Drew Locke couldn't solve the novel mystery of how to complete a pass to his teammates. And this would be a hard cover for the Denver Broncos.

Speaker 56 It wasn't the first time Clay Travis Kelsey had a license to run free. Not the first time Travis had a bunch of white stuff in his hair, if you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 56 Tyreek Hillary Clinton killed Epstein, as well as the Broncos' last remaining playoff hope. Choked him out with two touchdowns in the blizzard.
Chiefs 23, the Broncos 3.

Speaker 55 In Nashville, where Carlos Mencia Hyde stole Derrick Henry's routine, rushing for 104 yards and a touchdown. Kenny G stills wouldn't let Deshaun Watson take any out those sacks.

Speaker 34 Star wideout, DeAndre Johns Hopkins lacrosse up the Titans secondary all afternoon long, and you can keep planning the parade, Texas, because Deshaun F.

Speaker 44 Kennedy Watson avoided taking shots from the Titans defense on the grassy knoll in Nashville.

Speaker 56 Texans 24, Titans 21.

Speaker 34 Some spread.

Speaker 56 He could go.

Speaker 34 Bumbo.

Speaker 56 In D.C., where Terry McLaurin Michaels led a washed-up franchise that used to be good in the 80s and 90s.

Speaker 56 The Way stars aligned for cousin Greg Ward as his unlikely performance put a shove into the Redskins side.

Speaker 56 House of Dwayne Haskins could have packed it up, packed it in, but instead he jumped around and got Eagles batters out of their seats with a last-second whoop and a whoop and a whoop and a bum ball as Nigel Branham could go all the way.

Speaker 56 Eagles 37, the R-Works 27.

Speaker 61 In the frozen tundra, where Mitch Hedberg-Cherbiski reminded everyone, quarterbacks don't break, they just turn into running backs.

Speaker 65 And Matt Nagy said in the post-game, I don't have a quarterback.

Speaker 30 I just have a player who would be really mad if he heard me say that.

Speaker 45 Karen Rodgers would like to speak to his manager as the up-and-down Packers offense stalled in the fourth, but the Bears comeback fell 10 yards short as the Ivy League graduate Jesper Horsted proved that you could get the same education for $1.50 in late charges at the Public Gratt Library and realizing you should have pitched the ball to Alan Robinson.

Speaker 71 Packers 21, Bears 13.

Speaker 56 We go to Cincinnati where Stefan Happy Gilmore said the price is wrong, bitch, to the Bengals offense as Andy threw a dull ton of picks to the Patriots secondary.

Speaker 56 Joe Pesci Mixon and Darkee Robert DiNardo said to the Irishman Tom Brady, I hear you sell houses. The Patriots offense didn't put a lot of great stuff on tape, but they did their job and got the win.

Speaker 56 Patriots 34, the Bengals 13.

Speaker 57 Out in the desert, where everyone asked Kenyon Drake, who invited you? And he replied, I invited myself, scoring on the Browns defense like they were 18-year-old backup dancers.

Speaker 57 I'm talking to the man in Demir Bird, and I'm asking him to make some plays to the tune of six catches for 86 yards. Freddie Kitchens, more like Deddy Kitchens, because his ass is fired.

Speaker 56 Cardinals 38, Browns 24, put him, show

Speaker 72 standing on a corner, Jameis Winston, Tampa, Florida.

Speaker 74 Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 76 It's an owner, my lord, whose name is Martha Ford.

Speaker 74 And the fan on her sell the team.

Speaker 79 Come on, Perryman, prescores we care

Speaker 9 again.

Speaker 77 And you turn the lights on the lions.

Speaker 79 Like you're Sean Maryman.

Speaker 30 Tampa Bay, 38.

Speaker 56 Detroit, 17. In Dallas, where Dak Prescott Fitzgerald is looking to bring another Star-Spangled Painter to Arlington.
Tyler Higbee's in the trap. Bees Bee's in the trap.

Speaker 56 Did his best to keep the Rams offense on track. But it was all Cowboys all day as the law firm of Elliott and Pollard ran up two bills on the LA's rush defense.

Speaker 56 Cooper Flipskop put on a nice solo performance, but Jerry Jones is better when he's drunk, and he may be drunk enough to give Jason Garrett a contract attention after this one.

Speaker 56 The Cowboys 44, the Los Angeles Rams 21.

Speaker 80 Police are offering up to $38,000 as a reward for help in finding the person responsible for stabbing a dolphin to death. This is just terrible.

Speaker 80 The dolphin's body was found on Upper Captiva Island in May.

Speaker 80 A net cropsy revealed this dolphin was stabbed in the head with an object similar to a spear while he was still alive and the puncture wound indicates he may have been begging for fish or other food while he was being stabbed.

Speaker 56 Giants 36, Dolphins 20.

Speaker 36 We finish in Oakland for the final game in the black hole as Derek Cardi B got up on the stripper pole one last time and had a rumble in the Bronx against Doug Marone's Jaguars.

Speaker 57 Christopher Moltasati Conley sat on Raider fans' hopes and dreams like they were a small lapdog crawling under his ass for warmth.

Speaker 56 Christopher, how could you?

Speaker 67 Darren build that waller covered a lot of ground but wasn't able to cross over into the end zone.

Speaker 6 Stick to sports boom.

Speaker 55 And don't cry because it's over.

Speaker 37 Smile because it happened.

Speaker 47 Let us be the last ones to be the first ones to say goodbye to the black hole. It's with a heavy heart I say.

Speaker 63 Jaguars 20, the

Speaker 30 Raiders 16.

Speaker 6 And if we could just toss in something for the Sunday night game, no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.

Speaker 2 And that's where we will start.

Speaker 7 The Buffalo Bills, Sunday night football.

Speaker 3 The Buffalo Bills are back in the playoffs.

Speaker 50 The Buffalo Bills are back in the playoffs.

Speaker 84 The drought is over.

Speaker 61 The one-year drought.

Speaker 6 It's crazy to think this was their first primetime game since 2007.

Speaker 65 Sunday night game.

Speaker 5 They played a Monday night game somewhere in there.

Speaker 85 Did they have Sunday night?

Speaker 83 First Sunday night game.

Speaker 36 Okay.

Speaker 6 It's good to see them in primetime. And I guess we can say this is Tredavius White's coming out party.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Because it doesn't count if it happens in just a game that happens at like 1 o'clock or 4.15 in the afternoon. Pro Bowler.

Speaker 86 The fact that

Speaker 86 doesn't matter.

Speaker 6 Now we know who Tredavious White is, and he's really, really good.

Speaker 26 So the Bills,

Speaker 5 we've said this before, but the Bills, it feels like every game they've had this year has been the biggest win in Buffalo in like a decade, including tonight, because they not only get in the playoffs, which if you remember, two years ago when they broke the drought, they needed miracle after miracle to have it happen.

Speaker 3 This year, they're getting in the playoffs after week 15.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and they got in without even Andy Dalton having to beat somebody.

Speaker 92 Yes, and

Speaker 61 the idea of a home game in Buffalo, of an AFC East crown, is still alive.

Speaker 6 Technically.

Speaker 5 Because they're going to New England next week.

Speaker 88 And if they beat the Patriots and then win against the Jets, I think they win the AFC East.

Speaker 6 I don't think so. I'm pretty sure.
I think if they beat the Patriots, and the Patriots have to lose to the Dolphins in week 17.

Speaker 54 I don't know.

Speaker 86 It's still alive.

Speaker 6 The bottom line is it's still alive, and it could still be alive going into week 17, which is just incredible. Yes.

Speaker 6 The idea that the Bills could have a home playoff game is getting me all hot and bothered right now, just thinking about the tables that are going to be smashed up there, the shots that are going to be drank out of bowling balls.

Speaker 6 Hopefully L'Avion Bell hasn't got his mouth around those before we get there. We will be in Orchard Park if they get a home playoff game.

Speaker 95 Okay, you're right.

Speaker 17 The Bills have to beat the Patriots and the Jets, and the Patriots have to lose to the Bills and the Dolphins.

Speaker 97 That's probably not going to happen.

Speaker 98 So that's probably not going to happen. Fitzbook.

Speaker 53 It doesn't really matter.

Speaker 5 It's still alive in week 15.

Speaker 99 They could still win the AFC East.

Speaker 5 That's crazy to even say.

Speaker 8 Their identity of defense and Josh Allen making some plays with his feet.

Speaker 47 And, I mean, they have some good skill position players.

Speaker 1 I feel a little bad for Pittsburgh.

Speaker 81 The bubble kind of burst on Duck tonight.

Speaker 88 We still believe in Duck, but that was not his best performance. And, you know, they're still in the hunt for the playoffs because I think it's them and the Titans now looking for that sixth seed.

Speaker 24 And

Speaker 108 this AFC playoffs now looks like it's going to be phenomenal because the Bills are probably going to be the fifth seed.

Speaker 110 And the Bills are a 10-win team in week 15.

Speaker 5 And feels like their defense and enough playmaking from Josh Allen, they can play against anyone.

Speaker 6 They're a really good team. I actually think these two teams, the Steelers and the Bills, are kind of two sides of the same coin.
They're built similarly. The difference was Josh Allen played well.

Speaker 6 Duck didn't play that well. Correct.

Speaker 6 It came down to the end. It looked like the Steelers had a chance to send it to overtime, but I mean, once you start pushing

Speaker 6 towards the end of the game, the Bills kind of pin their ears back a little bit. I love that saying.
They pinned their ears back. They pinned their ears back.

Speaker 6 I actually knew that this game was over when Chris Collinsworth tried to explain Renegade. Yeah.
At that point, it was like, okay,

Speaker 6 it feels like you just made Renegade not cool, Chris.

Speaker 51 I also want to say for, because we love Duck, we love Josh Allen, and PFT did do what he was going to say he was going to do he bet the over which was very very stupid but it was in it was in for our guys yeah for our guys for duck for josh allen you had to do it i'd rather i'd rather sacrifice money than sacrifice friendship that game was that is

Speaker 6 it was a tough game to like get yards yeah every single play every single first down felt like a touchdown and there were just a shitload of fumbles and turnovers yeah in the attacking third um if tj watt was as accurate with his punches as marquise Pouncey was, that game could have flipped the script.

Speaker 20 He had a clean punch, a clean peanut punch at Josh Allen.

Speaker 51 It just could not connect.

Speaker 103 So the Bills in the playoffs, crazy as it can be,

Speaker 18 I mean, they have like a mini dynasty rolling in terms of getting in the playoffs.

Speaker 6 Yeah, two out of three seconds.

Speaker 24 Two out of three. That's a mini dynasty.

Speaker 6 Yeah. How about Big Ben? Can we talk about Big Ben for a second on the side? He's large.

Speaker 6 He's getting swole. He's large.
Who knows? It might be sympathy weight. Maybe his wife's pregnant.

Speaker 51 I tweeted a picture picture of him and said beast mode, and someone replied more like obesity mode.

Speaker 116 And I was like, that's not nice, man.

Speaker 117 But it's also

Speaker 81 very accurate because that beard, a lot of times, guys have the beard to hide how fat they are.

Speaker 115 I feel like it's working reverse in Big Ben.

Speaker 5 It's kind of accentuating how large he is with the beard.

Speaker 6 People were comparing him to Yukon Cornelius. I was saying he's Yukon Cream Cornelius.
Okay. That's probably a better way.

Speaker 120 He's like the, what's the guy from

Speaker 85 Epic Mealtime?

Speaker 6 That guy. Yeah, yeah, the bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips.
The bacon guy. I always thought that actually might be Ben.

Speaker 5 We don't know his name.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Jack Daniels Sauce.

Speaker 85 Is that his name?

Speaker 6 Yeah, Jack Daniels Sauce is his name.

Speaker 30 Okay, nice. Yeah.
What is his name?

Speaker 118 Adam something?

Speaker 121 Adam, sure.

Speaker 43 He does look like Adam Harvey is what I actually think his name is.

Speaker 123 Adam Harvey.

Speaker 6 Like Matt Patricia going in for a job interview. Yeah.
Which Matt Patricia will probably be doing.

Speaker 82 We'll get to that.

Speaker 70 We'll get to that.

Speaker 21 That's probably going to happen. What's his name?

Speaker 124 Harley Mortensen. Harley.

Speaker 125 Okay.

Speaker 72 So I was close.

Speaker 124 Harley Mornstein.

Speaker 85 Mornstein.

Speaker 13 Ben doesn't do well with Harleys.

Speaker 126 Okay.

Speaker 127 No, he does not.

Speaker 128 Wear that helmet, Ben.

Speaker 123 Does he still have a Harley?

Speaker 6 I'm sure he does. I'm sure he calls it his hog, keeps it in his driveway.
He probably just works on it a lot.

Speaker 13 He probably does it in his driveway.

Speaker 30 He's not in the driveway.

Speaker 6 Yeah, then just like takes it up and down the block when he's feeling antsy.

Speaker 25 All right, let's get to the rest of the games.

Speaker 129 We'll start with Patriots Bengals.

Speaker 41 So, Hank, which would you rather me do first?

Speaker 82 The good or the bad?

Speaker 130 Let's do the bad.

Speaker 30 You want to do the bad? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 42 The bad.

Speaker 104 If you are watching this game as a Patriots fan, basically, all of your fears came to fruition even though they beat the Bengals by 21.

Speaker 96 I wouldn't say all of the fears came to fruition, but it wasn't reassuring.

Speaker 35 Okay, so

Speaker 26 the offense didn't look good

Speaker 53 against a very bad Bengals defense, one of the worst defenses in the league.

Speaker 132 I think they're actually statistically like the second-to-worst defense in the league.

Speaker 89 And then your defense, while great in the secondary again, and I mean, the best secondary probably in the league, their run defense wasn't great.

Speaker 21 Joe Mixon had like 125 yards.

Speaker 134 So all your fears kind of popped up, like, ooh, that's not good, but he's still one by 21.

Speaker 124 Yep, and Nikhil Harry, the Patriots rookie, got a touchdown. So it's like that relationship is developing.
So hopefully they can keep it progressing going towards the end.

Speaker 21 Also, Julian Edelman might have a knee

Speaker 74 as a problem. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Major problem. That is a big speaking time.

Speaker 128 One of the knees.

Speaker 36 One One of the knees is Mike Trump.

Speaker 124 He definitely has two knees.

Speaker 36 He has two knees, but one of them might be a good idea.

Speaker 6 Good Lord gave you two.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the Patriots.

Speaker 5 It's weird watching that game 34-13, but it wasn't convincing because it was a close game in the first half, and then Andy Dalton just did Andy Dalton things, throwing four picks.

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, it didn't look as convincing because Tyler Boyd technically won that matchup against Stephon Gilmore.

Speaker 6 I don't know if you saw his quotes after the game, but he said that he felt like he won the majority of the matchups against him. A little fun stat here.

Speaker 6 Tyler Boyd was targeted six times, had two catches, the exact same amount of catches that Stephon Gilmore had while covering Tyler.

Speaker 30 Stephen Gilmore dropped like two other catches. Yeah, he could have had more.

Speaker 26 We kept on saying out loud, why are you still throwing it at Stephon Gilmore?

Speaker 11 He's the best cornerback in the league, and Andy Dalton was like, hey, I'm just going to try this again.

Speaker 70 Right, again.

Speaker 6 Tyler Boyd brought out the old, like, I won the popular vote, but lost the electoral vote. If you watch the tape, I won most of the matchup.
No, he picked off twice. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And it was all over the entire season.

Speaker 5 Every time that it was thrown your way, it was just a question of whether he would pick it off and run it all the way back or just pick it off and maybe fall down.

Speaker 95 All right, the good.

Speaker 21 The Patriots have clinched the playoff for a NFL record 11th straight season, which is breaking their own record.

Speaker 18 And to put it into some perspective, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers haven't been to the playoffs in 11 years.

Speaker 11 The Cleveland Browns haven't been to the playoff in 16 years.

Speaker 24 The New York Jets as a franchise have only been to the playoffs 14 times.

Speaker 116 The Patriots have now gone to the playoffs 11 straight seasons.

Speaker 6 It is crazy to think like all the sky is falling stuff for the New England Patriots and they're still the two-seed 11 straight seasons and we're here talking to the start of the show how the Bills like two out of three is incredible that they gone to the playoffs.

Speaker 110 There are two if you root for the Bucs or the Browns you have not seen the playoffs in the stretch that the Patriots have of going to the playoffs in consecutive seasons.

Speaker 6 Right. And before the game even started, things were looking down for the Patriots because Jay Glazer.
let me just say this about Jay Glazer.

Speaker 6 If you have a video that you don't want coming out, Jay Glazer already has it and he's going to release it. Jay Glazer owns the cloud.

Speaker 6 I'm pretty sure that he invented the cloud and he's just, he just has everyone's nudes. Yep.
He's got everything that you don't want to get out there.

Speaker 6 He's got the behind the scenes of the fake moon landing. Jay Glazer is actually so pissed tape.

Speaker 48 He's so damn good at having like three or four stories a year that no one else has.

Speaker 2 Because the rapper ports, the shepherds, like all these guys, they basically have the same stories over and over.

Speaker 7 Jake Lazer doesn't get in that mud.

Speaker 2 He's just like, yeah, I'm going to tell you when Odell Beckham's going to get traded, and I will have the video that no one else can get access to.

Speaker 61 It's incredible how he does it.

Speaker 120 He just hits like four home runs a year and doesn't give a fuck about being hitting for average.

Speaker 6 Well, so the Patriots.

Speaker 6 The Patriots, in turn, they suspended their videographer. Did you see that?

Speaker 6 They suspended the videographer that doesn't work for them.

Speaker 43 I thought he was an independent contractor.

Speaker 6 So, I mean, that's ultimate accountability right there.

Speaker 7 Hank, you got, by the way, you got well actually big time by a lot of people who want to talk about employment law because they're like, well, technically, Tom Brady's an independent contractor and all these people are independent contractors.

Speaker 127 I don't understand any of that.

Speaker 35 Is that true?

Speaker 86 I have no idea.

Speaker 61 I have no fun. We're all independent contractors.
I have no idea.

Speaker 53 When people start talking about like 1099s and all this shit, I get so fucking confused.

Speaker 21 I'm like, whatever, man.

Speaker 128 I take your word for it.

Speaker 6 There are like four people in the United States that aren't independent contractors.

Speaker 53 And there's like...

Speaker 6 It's the richest guys.

Speaker 5 There's a dozen people who actually understand what any of this means.

Speaker 119 Tax-wise, whatever. We're not a tax podcast.

Speaker 90 I think we've Hank has done his taxes one year out of the four years this podcast.

Speaker 30 Two. Two?

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 29 You got a bill streak two out of three years.

Speaker 26 There you go, buddy.

Speaker 11 Yeah, so we're not a tax podcast.

Speaker 26 So the guy got fired?

Speaker 6 So they, no, they suspended him, pinning the investment.

Speaker 72 No, he's not employee.

Speaker 6 Even though he's not an employee. So that's like Mike Florey, if you want to have an analogy.
That's like Kramer getting fired from the Pinski file that he was reviewing at the place he didn't work.

Speaker 6 Yep. So yeah, he's suspended.
And also, they put out a statement. The videographer put out a statement, and the Pats didn't even know that he was putting out a statement.
Or she.

Speaker 13 Or she. Yeah, it could be.

Speaker 139 Well, we heard his voice.

Speaker 6 We did. That video was so funny.
So when he gets to the point,

Speaker 6 we can just forget this, right? Yeah. The Pats are probably just pissed off at him because he didn't bite down on the cyanide capsule that he was supposed to.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God.

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 64 He detonate the suicide vest that had been strapped to him.

Speaker 18 He, yeah, he was like, it was hilarious watching it because he did the old-fashioned, like, hey, come on, like, I'll go my way, you go your way.

Speaker 83 It's not what it was about this whole thing, yeah.

Speaker 6 And then the Bengal security guy was we're way past that point now, buddy. Yeah, okay, we're in the shit.

Speaker 71 He buddied him.

Speaker 122 Yeah, when you get buddied in a confrontation with some kind of security guard, you're in trouble.

Speaker 26 So, I

Speaker 6 believe now that the Patriots were definitely filming the sidelines for some sort of reason. I don't know why.
It's probably not a reason that we think of.

Speaker 6 Belichick is so far ahead of everybody else in game planning and knowing what to look for that he probably had them filming something that the average person wouldn't look at and be like, oh, they're catching them doing XYZ.

Speaker 6 Right, right. It's probably, they're too advanced to get caught is the problem.

Speaker 114 It's actually, yeah, it's true.

Speaker 5 I actually watched, and we're going to talk about Urban Meyer a little bit later, but I watched an interesting clip where Urban Meyer said he would always watch the opposing head coach and see when the opposing head coach, he'd know if the opposing head coach would ever get in the huddle for special teams, and he usually wouldn't.

Speaker 5 And if he would watch him, he'd basically line up against him for the entire game.

Speaker 3 And the minute he got into the special teams huddle, he knew a fake was coming.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 7 So, like, that kind of stuff that you don't even think about, the game within the game.

Speaker 6 I love that shit. What if it was just like of the cheerleaders on the sideline, just guy stuff?

Speaker 30 That'd be cool, too. That'd be awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I still think this was all a plan to get everyone to doubt the Patriots and get the story off of the offense so then they can rally behind it.

Speaker 6 I mean, it seemed to work today, right? Yeah. They had a lot of Gilmore luck out there.

Speaker 26 They went 34-13.

Speaker 1 That's if you just look at the score, they're back.

Speaker 7 Hank, how are you feeling against the Bills next week?

Speaker 39 Saturday, 4 o'clock, prime time for Saturday.

Speaker 124 Ish. I'm so excited.
I'm so excited. I'm so scared.

Speaker 72 Okay.

Speaker 26 That's fair. All right.

Speaker 50 Next up, Bucs Lions.

Speaker 92 Jameis.

Speaker 20 You have to resign Jameis.

Speaker 35 He is, he broke another record this week, by the way.

Speaker 51 He broke two.

Speaker 64 So he was the first.

Speaker 103 Yeah, actually, yeah, because his first quarter, he had 221 yards, two touchdowns, and an interception.

Speaker 24 He did the famous Jameis, where he threw an interception on their first drive.

Speaker 105 Love that.

Speaker 26 He also is the first quarterback in NFL history to throw back-to-back 450-plus-yard games.

Speaker 29 He's a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 6 No one else has done that. So, yeah, his first quarter stat, I guess Peyton Manning threw for 247 yards at one point in the first quarter.

Speaker 6 But again, every stat that we've seen, if Jameis isn't setting a record, he's coming in second to Peyton Manning in all of these.

Speaker 143 He ended up with,

Speaker 7 what is it, four touchdowns, 458 yards?

Speaker 47 He's amazing.

Speaker 91 As long as he doesn't have to throw anywhere between 7 and 12 yards, wherever the linebackers are, he'll be fine because he's thrown nine interceptions now this year to linebackers.

Speaker 30 Yeah. Justin Lynch.

Speaker 144 He is linebacker blind, but everything else, and he didn't even have Mike Evans when he lit up the Lions.

Speaker 6 So I'm thinking maybe Bruce Arian should start to allow his players to stretch at some point because they've lost Mike Evans. Now they lost Godwin with a hamstring.
Okay.

Speaker 6 But they also feel like a team where you could take any cast off, any wide receiver that maybe was drafted in the first round somewhere else that didn't work out.

Speaker 19 Corey Coleman, where you at?

Speaker 6 You could put him on the Bucs right now and just be like,

Speaker 6 go run nine routes. Jameis.
And Jameis will find you as long as you're not in between like 10 and 17 yards away from him.

Speaker 24 Do you think there's a point where Jameis, at this point with Jameis' career, I think the Bucs have to either franchise tag him or re-sign him outright?

Speaker 12 And they have to hope, like a

Speaker 17 mid-20-year-old guy, because Jameis is 26, he's going to be 26.

Speaker 5 Like, you hope at some point, you know, you'll maybe slow down a little, maybe don't get so blackout drunk all the time.

Speaker 51 Like, maybe Jameis will just mature out of interceptions.

Speaker 17 Nothing will really change, except he'll just get a little bit older and he'll stop throwing them.

Speaker 6 You're trying to change him. You're like a girl that's

Speaker 83 came in the wild horse.

Speaker 6 I think I can make him mine.

Speaker 3 I'm like, hey, Jameis, why don't you try on this sweater that I bought you?

Speaker 51 It would look really nice on you.

Speaker 115 Maybe don't just wear this jersey all the time.

Speaker 6 Maybe don't cheat on me every weekend.

Speaker 92 Yeah, right.

Speaker 136 Like, just maybe, you know, think a little bit before you throw it blindly into the linebacker level every single game.

Speaker 6 Well, the good news for us is he's never going to stop doing any of that. And it's going to be great.
Right. It's going to be awesome.
And the Bucks are. I want them on the Bears.

Speaker 6 The Bucs aren't as bad as we thought that they might be at the start of the year. The Bucks, it turns out, they're a perfectly average football team with a perfectly hilarious quarterback.

Speaker 5 They're living in hell because they're going to end up 8-8 or 7-9.

Speaker 61 Not a great draft pick.

Speaker 64 Have to keep Jameis because he's played good enough.

Speaker 51 He's broken records.

Speaker 5 And do it all again next year.

Speaker 6 And all glory to God for every single one that he's done.

Speaker 68 I showed you guys that after.

Speaker 146 It was shocking.

Speaker 6 It is crazy.

Speaker 19 He thanked God a second time for someone else.

Speaker 6 Well, he thanked God probably nine times in the span of about, what, two minutes, two and a half minutes? So this was like a little bit of revenge for all the Christians that got killed by the Lions.

Speaker 35 All right.

Speaker 7 So we need to talk about the Lions real quick.

Speaker 88 There was a sell the team sign in the end zone that made it on TV.

Speaker 6 Is that what Antonio Brown was saying? No white woman 2020.

Speaker 30 Correct. Get rid of it.

Speaker 13 No Martha Ford.

Speaker 103 So sell the team signs sitting in the end zone.

Speaker 3 We're selling those shirts, by the way.

Speaker 96 Shout out to our guys, Mike Villeney and Sully.

Speaker 85 They are on radio in Detroit.

Speaker 3 They've got the sell the team going.

Speaker 142 We're selling those shirts.

Speaker 88 But the sell the team signs in the end zone.

Speaker 3 Bags on heads.

Speaker 98 The Lions.

Speaker 5 We just talked about the Patriots and how they've won, you know, gone to the 11th.

Speaker 107 Hold on.

Speaker 139 By the way, this is Barstool JJ is on the news.

Speaker 13 Okay, never mind. For what? That's crazy.

Speaker 51 He rescued a dog. Shout out Barstow JJ.

Speaker 15 Go for him.

Speaker 72 Good for you. Go follow him.

Speaker 151 I don't know what his Twitter handle is now.

Speaker 61 JJ and the Bronx.

Speaker 43 Yeah, you rescued a dog shit.

Speaker 119 JJ from the Bronx, go follow him.

Speaker 66 It's an awesome viral story, and you can donate.

Speaker 45 That's our shout-out.

Speaker 121 He's on the news right now.

Speaker 124 This is like the new Sunday recurring story.

Speaker 12 Yeah, just people we know getting on the news.

Speaker 2 It was a great story. He rescued a dog.

Speaker 14 It walked into his house and it was like mistreated and he's rescued it, brought back to life, whatever.

Speaker 40 All right, the Lions.

Speaker 30 Back to the Lions.

Speaker 14 That was a short intermission.

Speaker 92 That was crazy.

Speaker 1 Sell the team.

Speaker 138 Bags on heads.

Speaker 17 We talked about how good the Patriots are as a franchise.

Speaker 92 The Lions,

Speaker 81 everyone talks about the Browns being the worst franchise.

Speaker 133 The Lions are the worst franchise in the NFL.

Speaker 152 And I feel really bad for Lions fans, even though I root for a team in their division, because what they go through is hell on earth.

Speaker 105 They have

Speaker 30 one single playoff win in the Super Bowl era.

Speaker 84 Do you know that?

Speaker 14 1991 was their only playoff win.

Speaker 6 Was it the

Speaker 5 Redskins? No, they beat the Cowboys and they lost to the Redskins in the NFC championship.

Speaker 40 The Browns have six, six wins, playoff wins.

Speaker 50 The Lions have one playoff win in the Super Bowl era.

Speaker 84 That's insane.

Speaker 30 They have two Hall of Famers, Calvin Johnson, Barry Sanders, who literally quit with gas in the tank because they're like, I cannot be on this team anymore.

Speaker 6 Well, the tough thing is, even if she does sell the team, you know who the richest person in Detroit is? It's Dan Gilbert. So

Speaker 6 you want the winning history of the Cavaliers.

Speaker 153 I mean, they at least have a championship. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 43 I'm just saying.

Speaker 6 Michael LeBron.

Speaker 6 Michael LeBron could come to Detroit and win one for Dan in another sport.

Speaker 7 Make him a tight end.

Speaker 112 Listen, I'm just saying I feel bad for Lions fans.

Speaker 3 They deserve at least a little bit of like a hat tip of the pain and suffering they have to go through and how shitty this organization is and how much they've tormented.

Speaker 5 They're tormented day in and day out.

Speaker 3 There's a saying in Detroit, SOL, same old Lions, and it applies every single year.

Speaker 144 And I really think the only thing they have going for them is the Honolulu Blue is awesome.

Speaker 30 It's an awesome color.

Speaker 6 Also, Matt Stafford isn't bad. No, he's not bad.
He's a Hall of Famer. He's another guy

Speaker 2 who he's going to ruin.

Speaker 136 That will be the best quarterback they've ever had, and they will never win a playoff game with him.

Speaker 6 That's true. They will have had a Hall of Famer.
Well, they might win. We don't know if they're not going to win a playoff game.
Stafford's coming back.

Speaker 103 Words on the street that Stafford's injury is maybe something that's a little bit more serious.

Speaker 6 Really? Like a bad back injury?

Speaker 13 Like, really bad?

Speaker 122 Well, like he might, like, hey, might be not worth, similar to Calvin Johnson and Barry Sanders, hey, it might not be worth just going out there and getting your ass kicked

Speaker 91 for Martha Ford.

Speaker 21 Maybe just have your health and your money.

Speaker 6 Well, they say that the brain actually controls a lot of the physical aspects of your body. And if you have an injury and you have to go back to being on the lions, your body is a beautiful thing.

Speaker 6 It has a way of shutting things down if you know that you're going to be in trouble long term.

Speaker 6 So maybe he's not in a good mental state, meaning his back just won't heal correctly, as kind of a defense against himself for going back and playing on the ball.

Speaker 54 Against the Lions.

Speaker 96 So Lions fans listening to this, we don't feel your pain, but we're acknowledging your pain and we are supporting the sell the team because there's really nothing worse than having an owner that just will never.

Speaker 155 And Martha Ford's like a billion years old and she just sits there and is like, okay, you know, I just like having the Lions.

Speaker 61 I like owning the Lions.

Speaker 36 Well, the shitty thing is a fun thing.

Speaker 6 I don't think that she really has fun owning the team. No, she likes knowing that she owns the team.

Speaker 14 Well, the story always comes out.

Speaker 111 I mean,

Speaker 103 like how disappointed she is that they keep losing.

Speaker 127 Well,

Speaker 17 I mean, your whole life is a disappointment then because they lose every single year.

Speaker 23 They're the same old line.

Speaker 6 Would she even like it if they won? If they were playing meaningful games, I have no idea.

Speaker 2 It's sad.

Speaker 103 So people of Detroit, we support the sell-the-team movement, and that sucks.

Speaker 138 When you have the bags on your head, that's a bad.

Speaker 111 And I feel like this has happened 100 times in the last 20 years, the bags on their head.

Speaker 48 And they fired Jim Caldwell, who we made our Jim Caldwell jokes, but they went to the playoffs.

Speaker 115 And Matt Patricia's been, Hank,

Speaker 138 is it okay if I say that they probably should clean the house there?

Speaker 124 Starts at the top down. I don't know that you can.

Speaker 92 All right, so sell the team and then decide from the work on it after that.

Speaker 13 There you go.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, I'll say this about Matt Patricia. If you're a rocket scientist that's getting your defense outsmarted by Jameis Winston,

Speaker 30 it's a proposition.

Speaker 124 What do you want him to do? True.

Speaker 105 True.

Speaker 38 Texans, Titans, the battle for the AFC South.

Speaker 156 By the way, if you want to watch this, you want to watch the Heisman Trophy sitting in Pardon My Take Studios, you can do it at barstowgold.com slash PMT. Barcelongold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 119 So the Texans now have gone statement win,

Speaker 88 statement loss, statement win. And that sums up the Texans perfectly.
They just flip-flop.

Speaker 133 They beat the Patriots on primetime.

Speaker 149 They laid an egg against a bad Broncos team. And then they go into Nashville against the hottest team in the NFL and beat them, second hottest behind the Ravens, and beat them in their building.

Speaker 133 And basically, like a million turnovers in this game, and Deshaun Watson played okay.

Speaker 5 The weird thing about this game, it wasn't, we've all been waiting for the Ryan Tannehill bubble to burst.

Speaker 144 It really didn't burst.

Speaker 119 The Titans can't play from behind, and they were down 14-0.

Speaker 7 Well, it's that, yeah,

Speaker 6 they dug themselves in a hole early. There were a lot of ugly turnovers inside the red zone.
Yeah. And that was bad for us because I know we both had the over on it.
Yep. And it should have hit.

Speaker 6 It absolutely should have hit.

Speaker 30 100% should have hit. There's three

Speaker 30 turnovers in the red zone.

Speaker 6 The good news is Rabel's got it figured out. He said after the game, we need to do a better job of preparing, coaching, and playing.

Speaker 159 That's it. So

Speaker 30 you're close.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 5 This was a style in an in-game situation game where it's like if the Titans don't have that interception that basically they're going in to score and they give up the interception on the goal line and Texans bring it back all the way to the Titans 20.

Speaker 15 That game is completely different.

Speaker 6 I want to put one in the earhole of Rodrigue Dell and the Schedule Maker because I don't like

Speaker 6 when the division ends when you play the same team twice within the last three games. I love it.
They should do it on aggregate, if anything, because you're playing the exact same team twice.

Speaker 6 Sometimes a team can be totally different at the start of the year than they are at the end. I love it.
I like spreading it out a little bit.

Speaker 1 No, I like this because now we just get to do it.

Speaker 95 It was a good game.

Speaker 130 It was a fun game to watch.

Speaker 22 I mean, it wasn't like a perfectly played game, but it had action throughout, and now we get to do it all again.

Speaker 6 But is it possible for a team to play another team three times in the span of four weeks?

Speaker 22 Yeah, if they made the playoffs, right?

Speaker 6 I would just get sick of those colors.

Speaker 51 That would be so sick.

Speaker 2 If they made the playoffs, I don't think it would work out exactly.

Speaker 113 Oh, actually.

Speaker 145 It could. Yeah, the Texans could make the three.

Speaker 14 Although the Texans would have to lose to get the Titans in, so then they probably wouldn't be the three seed anymore.

Speaker 115 We'll figure that out.

Speaker 6 At some point in the future, it could happen, and all I'm saying is I would get sick of those two colors playing against each other.

Speaker 36 I would like it.

Speaker 21 I would like that very much.

Speaker 64 And then the Titans, yeah, I don't.

Speaker 6 It was the biggest game of the week that felt boring for some reason.

Speaker 37 Did you feel the same way?

Speaker 84 Well, it had action.

Speaker 110 I feel like the games in Nashville always kind of have that feel to it.

Speaker 6 It's the color of the grass.

Speaker 121 Yeah.

Speaker 6 The color of the grass is kind of the grass is depressed in Nashville.

Speaker 98 Yeah, and it just

Speaker 14 doesn't have the same juice

Speaker 96 that other games.

Speaker 111 Maybe because they haven't, it feels like they haven't had a primetime game, not on Thursday, in a long time at home.

Speaker 6 That's probably true. They get the annual game against the Jaguars, but I don't remember the last time I saw them on like a Monday night.

Speaker 1 So the Texans, we can't figure them out.

Speaker 92 They're just going to keep.

Speaker 138 Basically, it just depends on what week the playoffs start for them

Speaker 8 off of a statement loss or a statement win.

Speaker 6 Right, they should actually try to lose week 17 so that they're going into the playoffs on a high note. Bill O'Brien doesn't look well.
No. He looks unhealthy.

Speaker 6 He looks like he's got some combination of a liver disorder and gout.

Speaker 6 He's got this weird yellowish skin hue going on him right now. And even in a win,

Speaker 6 he looked like he was kind of done being there on the sidelines. Yes.

Speaker 111 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Vrabel had the, he chased the refs off the field, which I always love.

Speaker 15 Because whenever you're a fan and your coach chases the refs off the field, it feels like you kind of won in a weird way.

Speaker 134 You're like, yeah, like, there was something wrong there.

Speaker 6 We got that. Brian Flores is great at that.

Speaker 30 Yeah, really great at that.

Speaker 1 Last thing about this game, DeAndre Hopkins continues to be incredible.

Speaker 25 And I feel like sometimes we lose the fact that he's probably the best wide receiver in the league.

Speaker 45 Because every time he catches the ball, it's electrical.

Speaker 6 Here's the problem with the wide receiver debates going on right now. If you say something really complimentary of one of them, you'll have people in each year.

Speaker 6 So you say something nice about DeAndre Hopkins, you'll have somebody being like, dude, Julio Jones is clearly the best receiver.

Speaker 30 So he had an unbelievable day.

Speaker 6 Yeah, clearly, Michael Thomas is the best receiver in the NFL. I don't know.
There are a lot of great receivers.

Speaker 138 Every time DeAndre Hopkins catches the ball, you're like, he's going to the house.

Speaker 114 He seems loose all the time.

Speaker 1 Next up,

Speaker 6 Bears-Packers. What happened in this one?

Speaker 30 I died a million times.

Speaker 6 I didn't catch the end because I tuned out in the middle of the fourth quarter when it looks like the Bears were already done. Okay.

Speaker 88 I'm not, I don't complain about refs, but if I were to be someone who is going to complain about refs, all I'd say is it's hard to beat a team and the refs.

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, that happens with the Packers a lot. You have to expect that.
I don't

Speaker 119 I don't understand how you can have kick-catch interference after

Speaker 149 the kick returner clearly catches the ball and is holding the ball and then call kick-catch interference.

Speaker 138 That makes no sense to me.

Speaker 43 Did that all say that?

Speaker 14 Yeah, it did.

Speaker 50 And the Bears could have scored off of the fumble that happened on that play.

Speaker 2 The game was under protest.

Speaker 7 I tweeted that during the Joe Burrow interview because I had to get it in.

Speaker 62 I had to get that in.

Speaker 101 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't know why I believed that the Bears could do it.

Speaker 119 This game was basically the Bears' season of microcosm because they died a million times and then came back to life a million times, including the last play where Allen Robinson walks in for a touchdown if Jesper Horstead pitches him the ball.

Speaker 6 It's a classic rugby player. Walks in.
If your outside center gets it, you pin that last defender, you hit your wing streak, and I've seen it a million times in rugby.

Speaker 5 You denied us, Jesper, of having the excitement of scoring a touchdown and then the disappointment of completely fucking up the two-point conversion.

Speaker 70 Well, that is what would have happened and I wanted that.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I needed that. There's so many screenshots now of like Allen Robinson.
He progressively gets wider and wider and wider open.

Speaker 6 I can't wait for all 22 where he's going to look like he's six yards open instead of four. But yeah, Allen Robinson definitely would have walked in for that last touchdown.

Speaker 6 But I'm going to give you a little bit of good news coming off this game. Okay.
I think Aaron Rodgers sucks.

Speaker 51 He does suck.

Speaker 121 I think Aaron Rodgers sucks now.

Speaker 83 Aaron Robinson sucks.

Speaker 6 Aaron Rodgers looks like, you know how every single year that Aaron Rodgers Rodgers gets injured, he comes back maybe two weeks too early. He sucks.

Speaker 6 And he's a shell of himself in those games where he comes back early. That's what he looks like all the time now.

Speaker 5 I said during the game I would rather have Trubisky than Rodgers in that game, and I was only like

Speaker 115 80% joking. Right.

Speaker 68 Like that would, that's a lot less than usual.

Speaker 51 I'm usually 100% joking when I say that shit.

Speaker 6 So by Aaron Rodgers saying like we're going to win ugly, he's getting out in front of the story. So no one is drawing attention to the fact that he sucks now.
Okay. He's saying we win ugly.

Speaker 6 That's what we do. Him and Matt LaFleur do not look like they're having a good time together on the sidelines.

Speaker 30 Nope, yes.

Speaker 6 They remind me of if you go to dinner and you see a couple that's maybe 50, 60 years old and they're at the same table and they don't talk. They're still on a date.

Speaker 6 They're still making time for one another. Yep.
But they don't talk the entire time. They probably say more words to the server than they do to each other.

Speaker 6 That's what LaFleur and Rogers are kind of putting off right now. And it's crazy because the Packers are probably, they might end up as the two-seed.

Speaker 23 Oh, wait, PFT, okay.

Speaker 2 So, what you just said, I agree with everything you said. My ultimate fear is

Speaker 100 I can see it.

Speaker 3 I can see into the crystal ball, and I am scared shitless because maybe

Speaker 115 the Packers do just win ugly, and maybe that's kind of what they do.

Speaker 5 You know, teams who do this, where it's like, it's never going to look good. The Patriots have that vibe going right now, too, where it's like, they just win ugly.

Speaker 51 They find ways to win games.

Speaker 5 If the Rams beat the Niners next week, and then the Niners beat the Seahawks in week 17 and the Packers went out, they're the one seed, and the playoffs go through Lambo.

Speaker 23 It's not crazy.

Speaker 145 No, it's not crazy.

Speaker 160 So now even ultimate fear is being like coming up in front of my face where the Bears held the Packers to the lowest amount of yards that they've had in the series, in the two-game series since 1991.

Speaker 94 They lost both games because they can't fucking score.

Speaker 3 And the Packers are not good.

Speaker 133 And I've been sitting here saying they're frauds.

Speaker 111 And I'm going to probably keep saying that until I'm in fucking Miami being like, the Packers aren't good, but they're in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 What the fuck is happening?

Speaker 136 And I'm going to lose my mind, and you're going to have to put me in like a mental ward.

Speaker 61 I agree with you.

Speaker 6 I think that the Packers aren't good, but they're very good at being bad, if that makes any sense at all. So they are able to win the ugly games.

Speaker 72 Every single week,

Speaker 6 every single week, I look at the Packers' box score, and every single week I'm like, wow, Blake Martinez made another 12 tackles today. Their defense isn't great, but it's also not awful.

Speaker 35 Another game where two of the four quarters, they don't score a point.

Speaker 41 They basically disappeared in the fourth quarter, let the Bears come back, and I don't know why I care about sports.

Speaker 2 It's so fucking stupid every year.

Speaker 88 I really did sell myself on the Bears making a mini run here, and I thought maybe they could beat the Packers and keep this thing alive.

Speaker 37 And I'll just finish with this.

Speaker 138 Packer fans, you're probably so happy right now. You're so happy that I was wrong.

Speaker 88 You're so happy your team's 11 and 3 might be the one seed.

Speaker 5 You're so happy that you might win ugly and get to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 51 And I just maybe admitted that.

Speaker 11 But I'm going to say this.

Speaker 5 You did not eliminate the Bears from the playoffs today.

Speaker 115 The Vikings beating the Chargers eliminated the Bears from the playoffs.

Speaker 6 You beat yourself, actually.

Speaker 17 The Vikings eliminated the Chargers, not the Packers.

Speaker 153 Yep.

Speaker 68 Because if the Vikings had lost, the Bears still would have been alive.

Speaker 5 So, RIP, the in-the-hunt graphic, it was a fun run.

Speaker 155 I don't know what the Bears do.

Speaker 61 It will be very interesting.

Speaker 122 The fact they did not flex out the Chiefs Bears game next Sunday.

Speaker 6 They just did that to piss you off. That's the only reason why.

Speaker 72 There's going to be the graphic.

Speaker 82 They might actually not even play the game.

Speaker 112 It might just be the Patrick Mahomes, Mr.

Speaker 3 Biskey graphic, the entire four hours.

Speaker 6 You know what? I'm excited that they did that, though, because the ratings for next Monday's show are going to be so much higher because that's going to be a primetime loss for you.

Speaker 6 And people are going to love to see you in Mr. Miskey.

Speaker 82 Imagine they just kill the Chiefs and I just sit there like, oh, what could have been?

Speaker 6 That would almost be worse for you. If you guys won next week.

Speaker 29 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 26 I have to give.

Speaker 94 It's over.

Speaker 11 They are actually eliminated, and I know I'm saying that.

Speaker 61 But

Speaker 127 what if something happened to one of the teams and they couldn't play in the playoffs and and they had to have an alternate?

Speaker 6 Right, so you guys would be the first alternate, heaven forbid.

Speaker 134 I'm just saying, what would happen? Like, if there was

Speaker 6 a California earthquake, the Bears would have to play, right?

Speaker 106 They'd have to step in, and then they could probably run the team no one wants to see.

Speaker 6 Especially in bare weather in January. It was too cold today for snow, as you pointed out.

Speaker 83 It was too cool.

Speaker 30 It sucks.

Speaker 23 It blew Brandon Walker's mind when I said that it can be too cold for snow.

Speaker 6 As a Packers owner, I just want to say my level of concern with the state of the franchise and Aaron Rodgers Rodgers is somewhere between Arthur Blank walking menacingly behind the head coach on the sidelines and Jerry Jones walking menacingly behind the coach on the sidelines.

Speaker 129 I'm going to go crazy.

Speaker 89 It's like

Speaker 61 I'm living, what about Bob?

Speaker 51 And I'm Richard Dreyfus.

Speaker 64 And I'm just going to go crazy being like, the Packers aren't good.

Speaker 3 They're frauds.

Speaker 64 And they keep winning games ugly.

Speaker 144 And everyone's like, hey, no, they're pretty good.

Speaker 112 I'm like, no, they're not.

Speaker 12 No, they're not.

Speaker 8 Watch the games.

Speaker 22 They're not good. They're not good, but they're not good, but they're very good at being bad.

Speaker 6 God damn it. I'd rather be good at being bad than be bad at being good.

Speaker 142 Was that Trent Doper thing you just did?

Speaker 6 No, that's it.

Speaker 7 It makes sense.

Speaker 6 I'd rather be good at being bad than bad at being good. If you make a poll, I guarantee you, 80% of people would say good at being bad over a bad.

Speaker 108 You would not want to be bad at being good.

Speaker 6 You don't want to suck at being awesome. Yeah.
You want to kick ass

Speaker 6 at being a piece of shit. Okay.

Speaker 88 Let's go to the next game.

Speaker 140 Before we do that, a quick word from our friends at

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Save up to $25 and it's $12.31. See ya for details.

Speaker 143 Okay.

Speaker 84 Broncos Chiefs.

Speaker 13 Drew Locke regression game.

Speaker 72 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, small hands in the snow.

Speaker 108 Small hands of the snow.

Speaker 87 And

Speaker 119 yikes, he stunk.

Speaker 17 He was under ⁇ being under 50%

Speaker 88 as a passer in the NFL in 2019 is gross.

Speaker 6 It's tough to do, but this is the run that Andy Reid goes on every year that we talked about. I think this is, what, fifth game in a row that the Chiefs have won?

Speaker 61 Well, I was going to bring that up.

Speaker 93 It does feel like the Chiefs are kind of the forgotten team in the AFC.

Speaker 150 And because Mahomes has not been Mahomes as of late, although today he finally was like old Mahomes, he was awesome today.

Speaker 54 And

Speaker 26 their defense is a lot better than it was last year.

Speaker 6 Their defense is awesome today.

Speaker 98 Yeah, their defense is making plays.

Speaker 50 Mahomes is back.

Speaker 51 Like, this is the team that I feel like we're going to get to January.

Speaker 23 I'm like, oh, yeah, remember the Chiefs? Remember, they were the one seed last year and had the MVP?

Speaker 17 They're pretty fucking good.

Speaker 6 Remember Patrick Mahomes is a 99 in Madden?

Speaker 83 Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 42 They're going to win 12 games.

Speaker 103 They're going to beat the Bears next week, and then they're going to beat the Chargers at home in week 17.

Speaker 6 And Arrowhead is not an easy place to play in the playoffs.

Speaker 29 When you get the one seed,

Speaker 64 the two seeds, sorry.

Speaker 6 When When Andy Reid is standing in the snow, like the nice thick flakes like Madden snow that was going on today, when he's in the snow and his blinking kind of slows down, he looks like a wise old owl.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Just like focusing despite the elements.

Speaker 5 And guess what?

Speaker 14 Guess one of the only two teams that have beaten the Ravens this year.

Speaker 35 Oh, yeah, it's the Chiefs.

Speaker 64 So the Chiefs have beaten.

Speaker 5 They lost the Texans, but they beat the Patriots and the Ravens.

Speaker 136 I feel like we've forgotten about the Chiefs.

Speaker 6 Hank, it looked like you had something to say earlier.

Speaker 124 Well, I was going to say the completion percentage wasn't snowing that much.

Speaker 122 Yeah, but Patrick Mahomes was playing in the same snow and was exceptional.

Speaker 6 He was MVP. His home snow, though.

Speaker 83 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 82 No, I know.

Speaker 40 Drew Lock regression was going to happen.

Speaker 149 I mean, there's nothing that you can't bank on anything more than a guy being awesome early on in his career, like having an unbelievable game, and then probably spending the entire week hanging out with his friends, going to clubs, and being like, this is sick.

Speaker 155 This league is easy for me.

Speaker 6 What did we talk about with Lindsey Vaughan? There are different types of snow, right? Colorado snow is is different. There's

Speaker 30 city snow.

Speaker 44 There's cornflakes. Yeah.

Speaker 44 That was crispy. That was crispy, fat, thick.

Speaker 6 It was nice. That was like fried.
Pancake batteries. That's Andy Reid type snow, right? Andy Reid definitely keeps like a six-pack of Diet Coke in the snow on the sidelines for himself.

Speaker 20 So he, yeah, he, oh man, I wish he did the Dilly Bar.

Speaker 7 Remember Dilly Barn? Yeah.

Speaker 70 That was the best.

Speaker 122 He ate the ice cream in the snow in Minnesota.

Speaker 6 Beers that are coming outside.

Speaker 150 And then it turned out he just needed it for like his blood sugar.

Speaker 6 He's like diabetic, yeah.

Speaker 51 Like, this is so funny, he's so fat, he can't not eat ice cream in snow.

Speaker 103 Like, no, actually, he's doing that to save his own life.

Speaker 112 Uh, yeah, so the Chiefs are the forgotten team in the AFC.

Speaker 6 That's like one of those wildlife videos where you're like, oh, look how cute it is. These otters are holding hands.

Speaker 6 Well, they're actually doing that because the third one got attacked by like a sea wolf.

Speaker 112 Yeah, and they're just trying to survive.

Speaker 64 Yes, they're basically trying to get themselves to safety as fast as possible.

Speaker 6 They're actually doing that because they both have debilitating otter STDs. It's so cute, Dilly Dan.

Speaker 35 All right,

Speaker 1 Dolphins, Giants, Eli.

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 6 He's back to 500.

Speaker 99 What a beautiful game for Eli.

Speaker 26 So he's back to 500.

Speaker 143 It's his farewell game

Speaker 102 pending that if Daniel Jones stays injured, he will obviously have to play the last two games, and week 17 is at home.

Speaker 6 He's like a kiss reality tour. You should just keep saying this is Eli's last game, and his family will keep going out to the games.

Speaker 22 I'm happy that he had this moment.

Speaker 153 I really am.

Speaker 69 I don't think he should play next week week or the week after.

Speaker 61 He should go out like this.

Speaker 111 He won.

Speaker 143 It felt good.

Speaker 2 He threw three interceptions as Eli does.

Speaker 5 He also, PFT, you know why this game was so perfect?

Speaker 142 Not only because he got to 117, 117,

Speaker 150 because of this game, Eli Manning has now thrown an interception to 31 out of 32 teams in the NFL.

Speaker 7 The only team he hasn't, the New York Giants.

Speaker 66 So perfect.

Speaker 108 So it almost was like

Speaker 64 destiny that he had to have all these things happen where he retires when they're playing the AFC East and Daniel Jones gets hurt and he gets to play against the Dolphins and he throws a couple extra interceptions on top just for good measure, just to make sure that it really counts.

Speaker 87 So he threw three and it, you know, the crowd was going crazy.

Speaker 2 It felt cool.

Speaker 70 Pat Shermer probably saved, he probably, he's like the anti-McAdoo in the fact that they're the same exact coach, except he honored Eli, the living legend, and Ben McAdoobe did not.

Speaker 6 I would like to see a Mr. 3000 type of comeback for Eli where one team brings him back to play just against the Giants

Speaker 6 so that he can throw one interception against them, get everybody,

Speaker 6 collect them all.

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it was cool to see Eli out there. I don't know if he's done, though, because Mr.

Speaker 6 Mara, after the game, when they were asking him, what was it like seeing Eli, you know, one last hurrah for Sweet Prince Eli, he said, well, you guys are making an assumption that he might not be done.

Speaker 6 Oh, wow. So, Mr.
Mara, his voice carries a lot of weight.

Speaker 6 So, either we'll get Eli playing on a different team next year, fingers crossed, to throw that one interception, or they might have him start the rest of the year.

Speaker 18 Need it.

Speaker 144 I mean, Pat Shermer should be fired, but I really do think his treatment of Eli could save his job.

Speaker 5 He was nice enough to Eli that Mr.

Speaker 11 Mara will definitely put that in his pro.

Speaker 88 Like, he's going to make a pros and cons list after the season.

Speaker 87 He's like, Cons.

Speaker 103 He lost basically every game.

Speaker 6 He's a terrible head coach. Situational football awareness, zero.

Speaker 14 He keeps talking about how we have a young team, but none of our young players get better.

Speaker 99 He's totally incompetent and a real moron.

Speaker 93 Pros, he was really nice to Eli.

Speaker 6 Pro, he has a face that isn't quite as punchable as Ben McAdoo.

Speaker 92 Yeah, there it is. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, when you look at Pat Shermer and then you look at Ben McAdoo next to him, Pat Shermer does look a lot better as a head coach than Ben McAdoo.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he doesn't try to slick his hair back and turn into some sort of like door-to-door vacuum salesperson like Ben McAdoo did. Yes.

Speaker 6 Ben McAdoo actually did the Drew Locke thing where he had a small stretch of success. It was like, guess what? Now I'm badass Ben.
Now I'm ready to call all the shots

Speaker 6 with a tiny little door to my office.

Speaker 14 He forgot he was Ben McAdoo from Pittsburgh.

Speaker 23 But there's a poll now on the TV.

Speaker 10 We're reading the TV for the second time.

Speaker 159 Should Eli keep playing.

Speaker 14 Should Eli play again this season?

Speaker 89 And keep playing versus sit him out is basically 50-50.

Speaker 6 49-50. Yeah, 50-50.

Speaker 5 I love this poll too because the people who say sit him out are just saying that so he can stay 117 and 117.

Speaker 108 And the people who want him to keep playing just want to keep playing so we can keep doing the Eli farewell tour.

Speaker 6 And he does have two games left, so he could conceivably end his career at 500.

Speaker 6 Or even at 500 with two more, one win, one loss.

Speaker 38 Ooh, oh, people are saying, oh, it's a retire or play somewhere else.

Speaker 95 So, yeah, he's going to.

Speaker 116 I want him to play somewhere else.

Speaker 6 Fuck that. Let's say something nice about the Dolphins.

Speaker 5 Devontae Parker signed a new deal and was good.

Speaker 6 I have no idea who their running backs are, so they'll never let me down in daily fantasy.

Speaker 26 Yeah, two games in a row. It met life.

Speaker 6 No coaches, to my knowledge, on that team have been videotaped doing cocaine.

Speaker 29 There we go.

Speaker 138 And that was say something nice about the Dolphins.

Speaker 6 The field's going to be in really good condition for the Super Bowl because there's definitely not going to be postseason football.

Speaker 42 Yes, they have not quit.

Speaker 61 Well, sort of, but they didn't sort.

Speaker 112 They sort of quit.

Speaker 66 They sort of quit, but not really.

Speaker 6 They quit despite them trying not to quit.

Speaker 108 Right.

Speaker 6 And being instructed to quit. Right.

Speaker 30 All right. Next.

Speaker 6 They're really bad at quitting.

Speaker 17 Oh, Saquon looked good again for the first time since like week two.

Speaker 62 And I know he's been injured, but I also

Speaker 112 put this in my tickler file, PFT.

Speaker 14 I don't want people to think that this is Saquon bashing because I do think Saquon is a special talent.

Speaker 96 Remember last year when basically everyone was like Saquon's the greatest running back of all time?

Speaker 66 That seemed a little premature.

Speaker 6 In retrospect,

Speaker 70 you probably need to have him prove it a little bit.

Speaker 145 But wait, wait, big cat.

Speaker 6 What happened? What was the difference between last year and this year with Saquon Barkley?

Speaker 6 Eli Manning was his quarterback last year. What was the difference today?

Speaker 121 Eli Manning was his quarterback.

Speaker 6 He needs Eli to thrive.

Speaker 112 Just saying,

Speaker 1 I have that in my tickler file.

Speaker 2 I know that everything's stacked against him.

Speaker 122 He doesn't have a good offensive line.

Speaker 14 He was banged up this year.

Speaker 14 Here's my hot take that I'm waiting to unveil on Saquon, which I'm going to just say right now. Sometimes he just doesn't get the the easy yards.

Speaker 133 He's one of those guys.

Speaker 6 He tries to hit a home.

Speaker 51 He tries to juke everyone out.

Speaker 14 Like, just go forward, dude.

Speaker 81 Just go north south.

Speaker 6 He thinks it's still college. He thinks he's going up against Rutgers.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 12 That will be a future conversation.

Speaker 133 I'm not saying it now.

Speaker 132 I still think he's a very good player.

Speaker 6 His legs are too big and they're too big of targets.

Speaker 77 It's also hilarious that the

Speaker 98 Giants use the top five pick on a running back.

Speaker 6 That will forever be funny.

Speaker 30 That's a very, very funny idea.

Speaker 35 It's a very funny thing.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 26 Question for you, PFT.

Speaker 92 Oh, no, we don't need a Seeki question because we did it with a team.

Speaker 6 Do you still want to ask me a question?

Speaker 38 Yes, I do want to ask you a question.

Speaker 92 Do you like Dwayne Haskins now?

Speaker 6 Dwayne Haskins keeps improving. I hate him forever.
He keeps improving. You hate him forever because of the play, which is very Jameis-like at the end of the game.

Speaker 71 He just threw it backwards.

Speaker 69 He could have thrown a Hail Mary and he just tossed it backwards.

Speaker 6 He was in the grasp. He probably should have just taken the sack and gone down.
Throws it backwards. It gets returned for a touchdown.

Speaker 6 Eagles cover the spread, making all of us who continually bet against the Redskins look very good.

Speaker 162 The Redskins covered for 60 minutes.

Speaker 22 They covered for the entire game.

Speaker 103 They literally covered for 60 minutes.

Speaker 17 That's unfair.

Speaker 136 That's illegal.

Speaker 77 I want to protest.

Speaker 92 I don't know what we can do, but that should, that was the right bet.

Speaker 17 And Dwayne Haskins just decided to just throw the ball backwards for no fucking reason.

Speaker 96 I didn't even have it on my radar because the Redskins were covering.

Speaker 110 They were threatening to win this game.

Speaker 6 They were pissing me off how closely they were coming to winning the game. game.
Do you think that just Urban Meyer up in the booth watching that last play? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you think that gave Urban Meyer a fake heart attack?

Speaker 6 I think it might have.

Speaker 94 A brief one.

Speaker 87 Like a heartburn.

Speaker 42 Why?

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 87 Urban Meyer.

Speaker 21 I know why Urban Meyer is going to these games.

Speaker 156 I think he went to a Cowboys game a couple weeks ago as well.

Speaker 102 He's doing it because he loves to be talked about as, like, ooh, Urban Meyer to the NFL, and he wants to be in the buzz.

Speaker 35 Why does anyone think that Urban Meyer would be good as an NFL coach?

Speaker 121 His strengths.

Speaker 6 He's good at ignoring bad things that are happening off the field. To me, that's a big part about being a good NFL coach.

Speaker 61 His strengths are he is one of, if not the best, recruiter of all time.

Speaker 64 Like, he basically made Ohio State an SEC team with his recruiting ability.

Speaker 133 And he is also a great motivator of like kids, 18 to 22-year-olds, getting that, you know, if you watched basically Urban Meyer play against Michigan at any point, he's got kids from all over the country thinking that Ohio versus, like, fighting for their lives for the state of Ohio.

Speaker 91 Like, a kid from Florida is like, I need to win for the state of Ohio.

Speaker 115 That's Urban Meyer's doing.

Speaker 51 What is he also really bad at?

Speaker 103 Taking losses in stride.

Speaker 5 He basically has a heart attack every time he has a loss. Do you know what happens in the NFL? You lose games.

Speaker 106 You don't get to go 12-1 every single year.

Speaker 42 In D.C.?

Speaker 31 So I.

Speaker 6 D.C. would kill him, actually.

Speaker 144 Urban Meyer in the NFL makes no sense to me.

Speaker 6 It doesn't make any sense, but it also kind of does make sense because NFL owners just want to throw money. It's crazy.
So, yeah, he probably won't be a great NFL head coach.

Speaker 143 No, he'd be bad. He would die.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 he still makes sense about the fact that he might become an NFL. I could absolutely see him coaching in the NFL for like one year

Speaker 6 and being like, no, not for me.

Speaker 7 Urban Meyer would be saving in the NFL.

Speaker 113 Yeah, he'd be

Speaker 35 the control freak.

Speaker 2 He is a motivator who makes every game feel like life and death.

Speaker 5 You cannot do that in the NFL.

Speaker 82 He would not be good in the NFL.

Speaker 5 So it's crazy that any team.

Speaker 108 Now, it's not crazy because there's dumb owners, like you said, but it's crazy.

Speaker 11 Anyone who watches football, understands football, understands how good Urban Meyer is as a college coach would ever think that would translate to the NFL.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so I think that he... I'm trying to talk myself into being excited for Urban Meyer coaching the Washington Red Center.

Speaker 6 And I shouldn't be, but it's like he coached Dwayne Haskins. Nope.
They've got that connection. Nope.

Speaker 106 Nope. Nope.
Nope.

Speaker 6 I'm starting to think about it. Nope.
He's a bad human, and I don't like him. I shouldn't say he's a bad human.

Speaker 83 Well, no, you could say that.

Speaker 6 As far as I know,

Speaker 6 he's not a great human. Oh, here's another good reason why he'd be a good head coach in the NFL.
He's great at not spending time with his family. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So that's like number one on the list of things that you need to do as an NFL head coach.

Speaker 3 You've got that contract.

Speaker 17 All right, the other side of this game, the Eagles.

Speaker 112 So they're still alive.

Speaker 51 It all just goes to that.

Speaker 62 I've read read like a million different

Speaker 17 win-loss scenarios for the Eagles and Cowboys.

Speaker 64 And it really just like anything can happen.

Speaker 3 It just all matters about next week.

Speaker 116 Yeah.

Speaker 54 That's it.

Speaker 162 That's it.

Speaker 26 So Carson Wentz was for all the shit he's been getting all year.

Speaker 157 He was awesome in the fourth quarter in that game-winning drive.

Speaker 14 He's throwing to Greg Ward Jr.

Speaker 96 as his primary receiver.

Speaker 6 Who's a quarterback?

Speaker 61 He's got no one left.

Speaker 5 And on top of all that, Eagles fans, you're going to hate that I'm about to say this, but Miles Sanders is getting dangerously too good to the point where he will obviously get injured.

Speaker 70 Oh, come on.

Speaker 120 Like, you can't have the Eagles season the way it's gone.

Speaker 17 As soon as a player steps up, it's like, this is the guy we can now trust, because Miles Sanders is that guy now.

Speaker 138 He's their best player on offense, like besides probably Zach Hurts,

Speaker 22 skill player, he is now in definite danger to get hurt.

Speaker 21 and have Eagles fans be like, are you serious?

Speaker 141 Another injury?

Speaker 6 I keep waiting for Artha Whiteside to play really well because he's got such a cool name.

Speaker 26 He's going to get the jump ball.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he seems like a guy that would be a really good wide receiver just because he's got such a badass name that you like to say it. Right.

Speaker 6 You want to see a name like that in the stat sheet showing up. But every time I look down at him, he's got like one catch for 11 minutes.

Speaker 6 Not great. So

Speaker 6 the bottom line is the NFC East is just going to come down to who sucks west. And right now, it looks like the Cowboys.

Speaker 6 I don't know week to week. You can't count on the Cowboys to show up next week like they showed up this week.

Speaker 1 I'm pissed, too, at the NFL because this is going to sound crazy, but I actually would have liked to see the Eagles Cowboys in prime time.

Speaker 1 I know we've seen that 10 billion times in the last 10 years, but

Speaker 11 I can't believe they didn't flex out the Bears who were eliminated from the postseason.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's crazy. Again, I think it's just a fuck with you.

Speaker 26 It's a personal fuck you.

Speaker 103 Okay, so the Eagles win.

Speaker 14 Again, all that matters is next week.

Speaker 133 One last note. Terry McLaughlin is awesome.

Speaker 149 And if you're a Redskins fan, just buy his jersey.

Speaker 48 Yeah, he's really good.

Speaker 83 He'll probably get hurt too.

Speaker 6 That one handy catch that he had. Yeah.

Speaker 51 He's awesome. Sick.

Speaker 6 Whoa, you just whistle? I tried to. I'm not very good at it.
Can you whistle?

Speaker 6 Hank, can you whistle?

Speaker 112 That's this is by far.

Speaker 6 Now you've got a swarm of birds attacking you. So annoying.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 102 Okay.

Speaker 158 Yeah, that was definitely the most annoying part of the podcast.

Speaker 155 And we've mentioned the TV twice when people can't see it.

Speaker 21 And American Ninja Warrior hasn't even started.

Speaker 6 That's right. We're not loopy yet.

Speaker 81 Seahawks Panthers.

Speaker 44 This is the game that when we were talking doing before the show prep,

Speaker 158 I feel like I didn't even see a play from this game, even though there were a lot of plays.

Speaker 6 I saw two. I saw two plays in this game.
I saw Josh scored with that deep perception. I saw DK Metcalf catch a ball.
And that's about it.

Speaker 6 I think I saw Christian McCaffrey with the ball at some point.

Speaker 69 Well, it was a taken-care business game.

Speaker 5 The Seahawks just had to go win because we all expected them to.

Speaker 6 They went east, though, and they didn't cover. Yeah.

Speaker 113 Well, they pushed, but they shouldn't have pushed because they gave up 14 points.

Speaker 17 That was a classic.

Speaker 88 Seahawks didn't want to win by too much and screw up the statistical anomaly of an 11-win team having like a zero-point differential.

Speaker 102 So they're like, well, we got to let them back in it.

Speaker 31 But this is a game that essentially meant nothing because it's like the Seahawks held serve, and the Panthers have long been eliminated.

Speaker 90 And all that happened was everything we know was just confirmed.

Speaker 104 Russell Wilson is awesome.

Speaker 10 The Seahawks defense,

Speaker 122 maybe a little iffy, some injuries.

Speaker 111 Kyle Allen sucks.

Speaker 72 Well, yeah.

Speaker 17 And Christian McCaffrey's awesome.

Speaker 6 What I learned about Kyle Allen over the last three weeks or so is that Moxie is a finite resource. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So when you come into the league with Moxie, when you're just shooting Moxie out of your eyeballs, you have probably eight to nine weeks to use up all your Moxie.

Speaker 6 And in that eight to nine weeks, you better become actually good. And so his Moxie got drained, and now he just sucks.
It also,

Speaker 119 Moxie runs out a lot faster when you have small hands.

Speaker 6 That's true. I shouldn't say he sucks either, though.

Speaker 121 I feel like I'm jumping all over him.

Speaker 6 He's a serviceable backup.

Speaker 145 Yes,

Speaker 6 but he's not like the Moxie has run out to the point where you're like, he's clearly not a starter. That was just Moxie.

Speaker 13 Here's what Kyle.

Speaker 122 Kyle Allen should have faked an injury a couple weeks ago and finished the season on a relatively like, hey, that guy was okay.

Speaker 6 He could be a starter.

Speaker 1 The more tape he puts out there,

Speaker 106 he's hurting himself as like a backup for the next 10 years.

Speaker 6 The only guy I can think of that made a career off Moxie at quarterback is Brett Favre. Yeah.
And he had to sell like three inches of his dick to do it.

Speaker 105 He had all the Moxie.

Speaker 158 It was coming out of everywhere.

Speaker 89 Especially when he was puking up all the pills.

Speaker 6 He had Moxie just flowing out of his crocs. Yeah.

Speaker 115 Jaguars, Raiders.

Speaker 155 This was so fucking sad, man.

Speaker 6 This was so sad. I was so sad for the Raider fans.

Speaker 87 Black hole, done.

Speaker 21 Meltdown, fourth quarter.

Speaker 90 The Jaguars were playing for nothing.

Speaker 105 Win.

Speaker 103 Gorilla Rilla, did you see him at the end of the game?

Speaker 61 I did.

Speaker 6 Nothing sadder than a sad gorilla.

Speaker 64 Derek Carr went up to him like he was the president.

Speaker 157 It was incredible to pay his respects to a man, a grown man, in a gorilla costume in the stands.

Speaker 88 And Derek Carr was like, I got to go see Gorilla Rilla one last time.

Speaker 30 And I went and I looked.

Speaker 54 I found,

Speaker 91 of course, Gorilla Rilla was quoted.

Speaker 82 Gorilla Rilla.

Speaker 6 Did they quote Gorilla Rilla? Rilla? No, they quoted the guy, but he is Gorilla Rilla.

Speaker 54 I wish it was just from Gorilla Rilla.

Speaker 35 I feel even worse for Gorilla Rilla because Guerrillarilla is, and again, for people who don't understand what we're saying here, it's Guerrilla Rilla.

Speaker 133 It is a man who has dressed in a gorilla costume for the last 25 years and gone to every Oakland Raiders game.

Speaker 90 He is very relatable because he is a future Gorilla Rilla guy problem.

Speaker 95 So he said

Speaker 88 it was quite emotional. My eyes started to tear up a little bit, knowing these were steps I walked around in my younger days, and now it will be no longer.

Speaker 41 For me, I must say I have been in denial for the last three years when it came up that they're moving, but it finally hit today.

Speaker 88 It hit me Sunday when I walked up the steps.

Speaker 155 The era is coming to an end.

Speaker 7 So, Guerrilla Rilla, much like anyone who has anything they don't want to face head-on,

Speaker 68 has spent the last three years being like, they're never going to move.

Speaker 156 This is fine.

Speaker 7 And then today, like a ton of bricks, our sweet prince, Gorilla Rilla,

Speaker 6 that makes me so sad that Derek Carr went up. It's actually kind of funny.
It's a hilarious picture. A guy that got killed on a field went up to a gorilla in the stands.
It's the reverse Rambe.

Speaker 30 Yes.

Speaker 114 Yeah.

Speaker 31 He's Gorilla Rilla.

Speaker 89 Man.

Speaker 16 It's sad. It is very sad.

Speaker 6 You see, they're throwing nachos onto the field in protest. Somewhere Guy Fieri cries a single tier.

Speaker 149 How many followers do you think Rilla has?

Speaker 6 I would say

Speaker 6 15,000.

Speaker 51 18,000? Pretty close. Damn.

Speaker 85 Guerrilla Rilla.

Speaker 113 I'm going to give Gorilla Rilla a quick follow.

Speaker 6 I want to see what Guerrillarilla does with the second part of his life.

Speaker 42 But does he move to Vegas?

Speaker 6 I think you have to.

Speaker 66 Yeah, this is tough.

Speaker 6 I mean, really, if you're an Oakland Raiders fan, this is your big chance to do something crazy and say, you know what? Fuck it.

Speaker 6 I'm going to live in Las Vegas. Yeah.

Speaker 47 Or I'm going to root for the Seahawks and actually win football games.

Speaker 6 Or the 49ers.

Speaker 97 Yeah, or the 49ers.

Speaker 111 But the black hole is done.

Speaker 51 It went out in just horrific fashion.

Speaker 88 That game sucked.

Speaker 6 Well, it also went out in true black hole fashion because Gardner Minshew said that he's never seen as many middle fingers in one place as he did today. Yeah, and

Speaker 6 it went out as the Raiders. They died as they lived.
And losing a horrific home game and flipping off your opponent.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 140 And the last time they moved from Oakland, they also lost.

Speaker 43 So this is tradition.

Speaker 6 As is tradition.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 103 And, hey, here's a spin zone if you're a Raider fan.

Speaker 68 Wouldn't you rather leave?

Speaker 103 It's like leaving vacation on a rainy day.

Speaker 6 That's actually a great point.

Speaker 110 You don't want to leave vacation when it's beautiful out and be like, man, what are we missing?

Speaker 131 You want to leave on a loss and have Minshew Mania pop back up in the fourth quarter and your offense just puke down its legs.

Speaker 6 Right. So if they had made the playoffs this year, let's say they even make a run in the playoffs.
You're probably really happy with the way that this last season went.

Speaker 6 It's like one last magical run for Al, for the Flame.

Speaker 109 For the Flame.

Speaker 109 And then Marshawn Lynch is lighting blunts.

Speaker 6 And then they move to Las Vegas. At that point, if they start to really win in Vegas, building off what they started in Oakland, then you're like, fuck that.
That's not their team.

Speaker 6 At this point, it's like, okay, they sucked this year. They weren't good.
Didn't make the playoffs. Ended with a horrific loss at home to the Jacksonville Jaguars, who were on their own losing skid.

Speaker 6 It's easier to say goodbye.

Speaker 51 Yeah, you just had breakup sex and you nutted in like 30 seconds.

Speaker 113 Yeah, are you?

Speaker 13 And it was awkward.

Speaker 6 You caught her cheating on you with Vegas.

Speaker 68 Yeah, it's like, all right, fine.

Speaker 108 You know what?

Speaker 6 Get out of here. It's easy to pull the band-aid off this.

Speaker 10 I was just sad for them.

Speaker 17 I mean, you have just a bunch of people.

Speaker 5 There was that one guy who said, I spent all my kids' Christmas money so I could be here.

Speaker 11 That of the year.

Speaker 154 There was this black hole.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's exactly what you expect out of the black hole.

Speaker 6 That and a couple weeks ago, the guy that said, I'm missing court to be here.

Speaker 143 Also, the black hole. So

Speaker 7 we, as sports fans, have lost something by losing the black hole.

Speaker 60 And yeah, that's it.

Speaker 113 Shout out Gorilla Rilla.

Speaker 13 I have a question for you, Big Cat.

Speaker 6 Is Leonard Fournette fat?

Speaker 6 He's thick. I think he's getting fat.

Speaker 61 No, he's thick.

Speaker 137 I don't think you could be.

Speaker 30 Remember when he breaks out?

Speaker 29 No, he'll run fast at times.

Speaker 22 You can't be fat and run that fast.

Speaker 6 I think you can to a certain extent.

Speaker 64 No, I think he's just real thick.

Speaker 70 He's borderline fat, but he's thick still.

Speaker 6 I mean, you can have, like, Jerome Bettis was fat, but he had quick feet.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 94 He had beautiful feet.

Speaker 29 But I don't think. that he also

Speaker 143 outran anyone.

Speaker 6 Right. I don't think that Leonard Fournette is

Speaker 6 that type of body where he'll be able to sustain that's fat.

Speaker 1 But he's not fat yet.

Speaker 6 He's borderline.

Speaker 30 Speaking of borderline, BMI, he is.

Speaker 3 Yeah, thick, fat guys. Remember Zion?

Speaker 89 Remember that?

Speaker 96 Like, what is he? Where is he?

Speaker 74 He's been for the whole year. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 64 Jesus Christ, dude.

Speaker 135 Bust.

Speaker 161 Fucking bust.

Speaker 92 Another Duke bust.

Speaker 105 Big time.

Speaker 152 All right, before we do the next game.

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Speaker 113 Browns, Cardinals, let's discuss.

Speaker 162 Freddie Kitchens, you're done.

Speaker 22 You're fired. You're fired.

Speaker 6 You're fired. We would think that he would be done.
Okay, but we are not the Browns. Okay.
And the owner of the Browns, Haslam, said that Freddie Kitchens is not necessarily going to be gone.

Speaker 6 All right. They're putting their trust in Freddy.

Speaker 119 Okay, so I have some counterpoints to that.

Speaker 113 First up, this game.

Speaker 26 Cardinals' defense.

Speaker 6 They said barring something catastrophic.

Speaker 13 Okay, well, here's this.

Speaker 6 Here it is.

Speaker 98 This is a catastrophe.

Speaker 103 Maybe you decide.

Speaker 20 Cardinals' defense is giving up the most yards in the NFL, the third most points.

Speaker 40 The Browns scored 17 points.

Speaker 116 They scored a touchdown late in garbage time.

Speaker 20 They scored 17 points against

Speaker 64 the defense that's giving up the most yards in the NFL.

Speaker 97 The Cardinals' offense scores 20 points a game.

Speaker 61 The Browns gave up 38.

Speaker 61 And not only that, but the Cardinals' offense isn't very good at rushing.

Speaker 70 They're middle of the pack, 110 yards rushing a game.

Speaker 64 They gave up 226 yards.

Speaker 30 On top of all that, Kenyon Drake,

Speaker 17 in the last 25 games before today, he had four rushing touchdowns.

Speaker 13 Today, four rushing touchdowns.

Speaker 113 He has 10 rushing touchdowns in his entire career.

Speaker 64 He just went, he like, I don't know what's the math on that.

Speaker 121 And then one of those.

Speaker 30 He had four today.

Speaker 154 So he has 14 now.

Speaker 6 One of those was on the whoop, whoop, whoop lateral against the Patriots.

Speaker 146 Insane.

Speaker 50 Insane how bad the Browns looked, how bad they're prepared, how bad everything.

Speaker 115 On top of all that, Freddie Kitchens got in a fight with Jarvis Landry on the sideline.

Speaker 6 I don't know if I call that a fight.

Speaker 159 Well,

Speaker 6 they were pissed off because they were losing.

Speaker 3 Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham had the worst body language I've ever seen.

Speaker 156 They both were just sitting there with their hands in their heads, like, what the fuck is going on?

Speaker 64 And then, here's the kicker.

Speaker 14 Freddie Kitchens after the game.

Speaker 90 He said, quote, I don't care about my future as a Browns coach.

Speaker 69 He's literally firing himself.

Speaker 6 Well, no, what he said after the game was he was saying that like his job is to prepare for next week. No, Hanover, his business is not to worry about whether or not he's going to get fired.

Speaker 90 He said, I don't care about my future as Browns coach.

Speaker 115 So if he doesn't care, just fire him.

Speaker 62 And then he did do one thing right.

Speaker 5 For everyone out there, like, hey, say something nice about Freddie Kitchens.

Speaker 112 He does know how the days of the week work because he said, I'm going to show up Monday and do the best job that I can do Monday, and that's tomorrow.

Speaker 6 Fact.

Speaker 103 So, there you go. Say something nice about Freddie Kitchens.

Speaker 14 He knows that tomorrow is Monday, and Monday is when he's going to show up tomorrow.

Speaker 6 He's got a calendar. He's the kind of guy that remembers his days of the week based on what the specials are at the local deli.

Speaker 6 I don't, it's meatball Monday, so it's going to be a big, big one for me.

Speaker 113 I know that you don't want to fire a coach after you just fired a coach, and it's like the revolving door thing.

Speaker 6 There are two questions. Two questions you have to ask yourself whenever you're thinking about firing a coach.
One is,

Speaker 6 am I going to be able to get an upgrade over this guy right now? The answer is yes. The second is, would anyone else hire this guy as a head coach the second he hit the market?

Speaker 44 Probably not. Third question.

Speaker 6 Well, the Lions, maybe.

Speaker 2 Third question: Is the coach

Speaker 2 having the team very ill-prepared for every single Sunday?

Speaker 21 And did he have one of the players bash the opposing team with his helmet

Speaker 133 in an act that the NFL has never seen.

Speaker 6 In an assault that the NFL has never seen. Also, yes.
Well, it's assault period.

Speaker 135 Assault!

Speaker 6 To me, that's more like assault.

Speaker 30 I like how you've given that tweet.

Speaker 30 Oh, yeah. I tweeted it all the time.

Speaker 83 No, I know, but like, he didn't say it doesn't sound like that.

Speaker 30 Yeah, yeah, but that's how it is.

Speaker 144 No, he yelled at the

Speaker 6 screen. There's no exclamation point.
Yeah, I know. Assault, period.

Speaker 6 To me, the period made it funnier because he was like, assault.

Speaker 64 No, he yelled, though. He yelled at the screen.

Speaker 1 He was like, he might have typed something different, but I know how Chef.

Speaker 83 he was like, that's assault! That's assault.

Speaker 6 And then he tells everyone around him, isn't that assault, guys?

Speaker 54 That's assault.

Speaker 6 Technically, that's assault.

Speaker 6 Freddie Kitchens is not doing himself any favors by becoming more and more swollen as the year goes on. He needs a stand-up desk.
Freddie Kitchens needs a treadmill on the sidelines.

Speaker 89 How about he needs to just not be an idiot?

Speaker 22 Well, I mean,

Speaker 6 that would help, too. That wouldn't help his bloat.

Speaker 2 I don't care about my future as Browns coach.

Speaker 6 I think what he was saying with that quote

Speaker 6 was pretty obvious. He's He's ready to fire himself.
He was just saying like, that's not my job to worry about coaching. Correct.

Speaker 60 So then just fire him.

Speaker 70 So then just fire him.

Speaker 7 If he doesn't care, just fire him.

Speaker 6 I don't think he's saying he doesn't care.

Speaker 113 Oh, I know, but just fire him.

Speaker 19 Just fire him anyway.

Speaker 64 Just fire him because you can just say that and be like, hey, dude, remember when he said that?

Speaker 103 It doesn't matter how he said it.

Speaker 6 So it's a paper trail for HR purposes.

Speaker 82 Yeah, dude, he resigned. He didn't care.

Speaker 111 You do not care.

Speaker 6 He literally resigned.

Speaker 61 I know what he's saying.

Speaker 5 Like, he doesn't actually care.

Speaker 88 Like, it's not his job to worry about it.

Speaker 6 The funny thing is that in a vacuum, the Browns should be happy with a seven and nine season, if that's where they end up, right? Like 7-9 for the Browns?

Speaker 6 That's not bad for that franchise.

Speaker 6 It is. I wonder if Odell Beckham requested a trade to the Cardinals.

Speaker 153 They gave up. Probably not.

Speaker 6 I think that's where he would probably draw the line on that.

Speaker 142 226 yards rushing to the Cardinals.

Speaker 108 Four touchdowns for Kenyon Drake.

Speaker 84 Kenyon Drake won the first game that he's won.

Speaker 22 He had a 14-game losing streak, 11 games this season.

Speaker 6 The 2008, was it the Lions or popping their bottle of 2-11 right now?

Speaker 74 The Ravens won a game. There you go.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so next week they have the Ravens. Odell Beckham is probably just going to defect to the Ravens, like a Cuban player, like a Cuban pitcher at the World Baseball Classic.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 He's going to lock himself in a hotel room in Baltimore.

Speaker 149 He's just going to be on the other sideline by the end of the game.

Speaker 140 Yeah. And just and be like, yep, this is the team I play for now.

Speaker 6 I have a question for you, though. Am I super crazy to think that the Browns still aren't that far away from being a good team?

Speaker 2 They're very far away as long as they don't have a head coach.

Speaker 6 Take Freddie Kitchens out of the equation. Let's just say it's Urban Meyer.

Speaker 1 No, they have a lot of talent.

Speaker 133 They have a talented roster.

Speaker 6 Their line needs work.

Speaker 40 They're the Browns.

Speaker 6 The job is really, really good. I also think you got to...

Speaker 150 I don't know what you do with Odell Beckham because I feel like you might want to move on from that.

Speaker 6 This is crazy to think, but the Browns might be one of the most attractive head coaching destinations for next year.

Speaker 125 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 They have a franchise quarterback.

Speaker 129 They're ready to go.

Speaker 10 But you have to obviously change a couple couple things.

Speaker 102 And I do think the Browns have to.

Speaker 7 I don't know what Odell Beckham's contract is, but they have to move on from that, right?

Speaker 145 Because he's not happy.

Speaker 70 No, he's not happy.

Speaker 6 I think with Odell,

Speaker 6 he's going to be happy if they win. No, but if you get rid of Freddie in the offseason and you bring someone else in that you think can win, then Odell's going to become happy pretty quickly.

Speaker 97 But the Browns have the talent to be a good offense if they run the ball and, you know, like basically their identity should be running the ball running the ball running the ball and play action pass and not having to force the ball to

Speaker 6 odell beckham down the field like they shouldn't be trying to throw down the field constantly because they don't have the offensive line for it i just it's weird the whole thing just doesn't make sense they run too much 11 personnel yeah they need their tight end back that's what warren sharp told us so I think that Odell would probably be happy not getting the huge stats that he's put up in the past.

Speaker 6 You don't have to force the ball to him. Just give him a summer.
Let him spend the entire summer on a boat. Just be like, Odell, we know that you love being on the water.

Speaker 6 Go hang out on a boat for the entire offseason. Come back.
We'll have a new head coach. We're going to win football games.
I'm pretty sure he's going to be happy at that point.

Speaker 6 He doesn't like losing. He takes it out on the nearest kicking nets and Gatorade coolers and dumbass things.

Speaker 69 Also, not like he has not played well.

Speaker 51 That's also not like, I was definitely on the side of the Odell gets unfairly criticized because he's very passionate, but he has not played well this year.

Speaker 138 And he might be injured, and that's fine.

Speaker 69 But I don't know.

Speaker 3 It just feels like you're trying to force something that's just not going to work.

Speaker 6 I think giving up on Odell Beckham right now.

Speaker 71 It's not giving up, you're going to get something for him.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you'll get something for him. But I still think that whatever you get for Odell Beckham probably isn't going to be as good as Odell Beckham at its peak.

Speaker 154 I mean, I think the league has shown that

Speaker 106 the way to build a team is not through

Speaker 133 premier wide receivers.

Speaker 22 It's a nice add-on.

Speaker 112 They obviously need a lot of other things.

Speaker 6 They obviously need to rework the line.

Speaker 30 That's because you could trade on number one

Speaker 5 for pieces that would make your line better.

Speaker 6 You'd have to do three offensive linemen.

Speaker 1 Or draft picks or whatever.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I would trade Odell Beckham for three above-average offensive linemen.

Speaker 92 Yeah, so there you go.

Speaker 35 We just fixed the Browns. Okay.

Speaker 6 You're welcome. And Fire Freddy Kitchens.

Speaker 151 I feel like there's no point in having that type of wide receiver if you have other problems that are, you know, that you can build.

Speaker 98 Like, the roster construction doesn't really make sense to me.

Speaker 6 That's what I'm saying. Well, Swagger Jr.
is still undefeated at home.

Speaker 26 That's true. That's true.
All right.

Speaker 1 Next up, Vikings Chargers.

Speaker 139 The Chargers had seven turnovers.

Speaker 44 That's pretty impressive.

Speaker 6 Phillip Rivers is, he's gotten to the old crotchety man point in his career. We all have grandparents and people who are aging that sometimes just say shit, whatever comes to the top of their head.

Speaker 6 That's how Phillip Rivers plays football right now.

Speaker 132 He just says, fuck it.

Speaker 73 I'm going to throw it wherever I want to throw it.

Speaker 73 I'm going to fumble whenever I want to fumble.

Speaker 6 He just throws it straight down the center of the field as high as he can, as far as he can.

Speaker 6 That's 25% of his offense right now.

Speaker 45 Melvin Gordon got benched for fumbles, which you don't really see in the NFL very often.

Speaker 1 It's not like that's kind of a college thing.

Speaker 122 It's like, hey, this guy can't play because he's going to put the ball on the deck.

Speaker 70 Belichick, Melvin Gordon knows not to bent.

Speaker 26 No, Belichick just cuts him.

Speaker 66 He's just straight cut you.

Speaker 51 But Melvin Gordon, that was a weird move to bench him.

Speaker 108 It's like, probably just want to play your best players.

Speaker 6 Sometimes you don't have sticky hands.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 3 it was one of those weird games where the Vikings didn't really have to do anything.

Speaker 27 They just had to let the Chargers fuck this up.

Speaker 97 I will say, though, Daniel Hunter is awesome.

Speaker 22 Or sorry, yeah, Daniil Hunter for the Vikings.

Speaker 88 I think he's the youngest guy to get 50 sacks, and

Speaker 95 he was a force all day.

Speaker 122 I think he had the strip sack.

Speaker 158 He had another sack.

Speaker 3 The Vikings defense looks like it can play with anyone.

Speaker 165 They got a big game next week against the Packers.

Speaker 6 How bad would it suck losing your best player on offense in a game that you were going to win anyways, even without him? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 30 Dalvin Cook.

Speaker 113 Fantasy.

Speaker 6 So Dalvin Cook is out with a shoulder, right?

Speaker 121 Fantasy.

Speaker 6 I don't know if it's a shoulder or if it's the fact that he was holding up an oxygen mask to his ear at some point.

Speaker 40 He got high. Yeah, he got the Benz.

Speaker 6 Ben Rothensberger's definitely held up an oxygen mask to his ear at some point. As a telephone, like, well, no, two of them at the same time.
Yeah. Yeah, trying to listen to the band air.

Speaker 98 You said this to Hank.

Speaker 128 I'm going to give you credit for it.

Speaker 149 The Dalvin Cook screwed so many people in their fantasy playoffs today.

Speaker 100 Was it you too?

Speaker 124 No, I'm actually out of it in all my leagues.

Speaker 118 Not that you care, but I do care.

Speaker 107 Oh, I care. A happy Hank.

Speaker 13 It's a happy life.

Speaker 124 You guys are out too, if anyone out there cares.

Speaker 118 No, no, we are.

Speaker 74 We'll bleep that out.

Speaker 30 Officially?

Speaker 163 Not officially. You have Drew Brees, but

Speaker 6 how many burgers do you need Drew to throw tomorrow? 50, I think. 50, he can do it.

Speaker 7 He could do that.

Speaker 6 50 Burger? Because the Colts, sure.

Speaker 71 That's no problem.

Speaker 138 Yeah, that does suck.

Speaker 150 That's why fantasy is the dumbest because you might have the best team all year, and then you get to the fantasy playoffs, and Dalvin Cook goes out with the shoulder injury.

Speaker 124 Or you went against Kenny Drake, who had four touchdowns.

Speaker 72 Yeah, too would suck.

Speaker 119 Yeah, someone picked up Kenny Drake and was like, hey, I'm going to start this guy.

Speaker 6 It also sucks if you're the Minnesota Vikings and you go to the real playoffs and Dalvin Cook's out.

Speaker 134 Yeah, that would also suck.

Speaker 81 So the Vikings, the Vikings are the classic team where

Speaker 22 they could be good, but it's still Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 65 Yep.

Speaker 134 So who knows?

Speaker 77 They are going to get to the playoffs, though, PFT.

Speaker 108 So the Dunchain.

Speaker 6 Well, which I apologize for. It's true, you did.
I apologize.

Speaker 38 They are going to get to the playoffs, though, because the Rams lost.

Speaker 5 and let's go to that game.

Speaker 70 The Cowboys, that was an absolute ass-kicking through and through.

Speaker 2 The Cowboys basically did everything that

Speaker 10 has been promised with this Cowboys roster and how talented they are.

Speaker 6 They did it all today. You know what it was? Jason Garrett played the team a highlight reel of some of their old good performances before this game.
He did? Got them believing in themselves again.

Speaker 6 There we go. And then Garrett went out and had a first half to remember.
I actually took a video.

Speaker 6 Maybe we can make a video video out of this because I've got all the clips of him on the sidelines throughout the entire first half.

Speaker 6 I think they showed him like nine times and he didn't say a single word while he was on camera. How long do they show him for?

Speaker 6 Well, some of the clips were three seconds. Some were up to 14 seconds.
Jesus. Where Jason Garrett was just staring off into the abyss, not saying a word.

Speaker 17 Just lets his guys go.

Speaker 6 Yeah, let the players do the talking.

Speaker 156 The big news, though, of this game, outside the coin toss, which it does, the whole defer thing, like, why?

Speaker 142 Everyone knows that you should just say we either want to kick or we want to receive, like, you should just pick.

Speaker 14 Like, we're going to either kick or we're going to receive, and then flip it on the second half.

Speaker 6 How pissed off do you think Jameis was to find out that someone discovered how to commit a turnover before the game even started? Yes, yeah.

Speaker 29 But it feels like something.

Speaker 61 But then New York got involved and it ended up not happening, so

Speaker 102 they righted that wrong.

Speaker 6 Isn't it technically gambling to do a coin toss before the game? What do you mean? It's kind of gambling, isn't it? Like, call heads or tails as he flip a coin.

Speaker 6 Just something that Goodell should look into. Okay.

Speaker 163 The big news, though, of this game, Skip Bayless pulled the Zeke jersey out of the trash.

Speaker 6 What? Yes. It was in there this whole time? The whole time.

Speaker 131 The whole time.

Speaker 149 That trash can in his kitchen with no trash bag in there.

Speaker 96 He went in there.

Speaker 106 He walked into the kitchen. He opened the trash and he pulled out the Zeke jersey.

Speaker 6 I love it. I didn't see that.
Yeah.

Speaker 30 So that's it.

Speaker 6 That's a big turnaround. Now, is Miss Elliott going to be happy?

Speaker 6 Are they back on good terms? I don't know. I think Skip Bayless just has trash.

Speaker 6 He uses trash cans like you or I might use underbed storage where we put the stuff away for the winter we're not going to need, or something that

Speaker 6 we're done wearing, but we're not committed enough to get rid of.

Speaker 11 Yeah, Skip doesn't seem like a guy who uses anything in his kitchen.

Speaker 14 No, not dishes, not maybe one mug.

Speaker 61 But other than that,

Speaker 64 he's always eating out. He's always, you know.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Ernest seems pretty happy.

Speaker 93 Yeah, so the Zeke jersey comes out of the trash.

Speaker 113 The Cowboys are back on track somehow.

Speaker 71 And on top of all that, I'm sitting here.

Speaker 29 I watch that game.

Speaker 132 I see how good the Cowboys look.

Speaker 50 I'm like, they might have a home playoff game.

Speaker 6 Are they going to be a tough out?

Speaker 61 Yeah. And that would be the only

Speaker 6 they win a playoff game, maybe two. And Jason Garrett is coming back, baby.

Speaker 37 They had two rushers over 100 yards.

Speaker 51 Everything worked.

Speaker 133 Like, literally, that was the perfect game the Cowboys played from start to finish.

Speaker 6 Well, that's what I've been kind of saying about the Cowboys is locking up Ezekiel Elliott might be the smart thing to do before you lock up Dak Prescott because the team kind of goes as Ezekiel goes.

Speaker 102 Although Tony Pollard had more yards than him today, yeah, I know.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 36 the running game is important.

Speaker 6 Dak is a great quarterback. Right now, he's better than Carson Wentz.
Where do we stand on that? Carson Wentz played better today, I think, than Dak did. I don't know.
I think he's better right now.

Speaker 6 I think we're just going to debate that for you. We're going to find out next week, actually.

Speaker 43 We're going to debate that for either.

Speaker 6 Once and for all, we'll find out who the best quarterback is next week.

Speaker 142 Also, this game would have been totally different if Jared Goff didn't hurt his thumb.

Speaker 158 I think we can all agree.

Speaker 6 He banged his thumb on a helmet. So that's the Rams probably win.
They cheated, actually.

Speaker 139 Yeah, the Rams win if Jared Goff doesn't hurt his thumb.

Speaker 6 Did you know that Sean Lee's nickname is the general? That makes sense. Yeah, it's such a nickname for him.
He also had a bloody knee.

Speaker 140 He was just running around.

Speaker 6 I think he just always has a bloody knee.

Speaker 6 This time it was externally.

Speaker 5 No, it was actually an upgrade for him.

Speaker 29 Right.

Speaker 103 You knew that that just needed a band-aid, not

Speaker 14 surgery and nine months of rehab.

Speaker 6 With Sean Lee, if you can see blood, it means that you're still intact internally.

Speaker 136 They said they're like, oh, Sean Lee's playing like a young kid out there.

Speaker 6 The general. Yeah.

Speaker 127 Fuck, Sean Lee.

Speaker 6 Because he's a shitty insurance policy. Good job.

Speaker 157 Last game, and then we're going to do quickly who's back and then get to Joe Burrow.

Speaker 115 Falcons 49ers, the stunner of the weekend.

Speaker 6 Wait, going back one second to the Cowboys game. Yeah.
I hate the fucking afternoon games in the sun. You saw it too.
Yeah, it was weird.

Speaker 65 It just saw

Speaker 6 in the Cowboys stadium. They wait until

Speaker 6 I don't know how they do it with the roof and the windows on each end. It just sucks.
It's a cheat joke. Mr.
Ray Baker. Yeah.
You'll find out about that later.

Speaker 87 Wow.

Speaker 6 Way to step on Joe.

Speaker 83 I didn't ruin anything. You did.

Speaker 6 I don't think they'll know.

Speaker 64 Son.

Speaker 6 It's a tease.

Speaker 71 Okay.

Speaker 116 The Joe Burrow interview is coming up in a second.

Speaker 10 All right. Falcons 49ers.

Speaker 88 Last game of the weekend.

Speaker 90 The shocker of the weekend.

Speaker 142 49ers.

Speaker 81 This was such a letdown spot for them.

Speaker 133 We talked about it on Friday, going, you know, being on the East Coast for two weeks, playing the Ravens, playing the Saints, winning against the Saints in an awesome game, then coming all the way back and having the Falcons, the Dan Quinn revenge game against Kyle Shanahan.

Speaker 140 And I don't know.

Speaker 65 I mean, this was...

Speaker 45 Do you throw this out as saying this was just

Speaker 70 a letdown spot?

Speaker 14 Or are you like, hey, this is actually concerning for the 49ers?

Speaker 6 I mean, it's actually a huge win for the Seahawks and the Saints. Yes.

Speaker 30 Big time. Big time win.
And the Packers. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 So Dan Quinn helped out the entire NFC, helped out every team that he hates probably

Speaker 6 by winning this game.

Speaker 6 My takeaway was that the Falcons should just on-side kick every single kick that they have ever.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 61 So that was the other one that happened.

Speaker 6 They should do what Dak Prescott tried to do and say that they'll kick in both halves.

Speaker 64 It was crazy. It was another one where if you had the under in this game,

Speaker 150 I don't know how many apologies I can give you because the Falcons scored 13 points the last four seconds of the game.

Speaker 96 And it was insane.

Speaker 6 I had the over, and I had put that one to bed.

Speaker 69 You still didn't understand it.

Speaker 72 I didn't understand

Speaker 72 four times.

Speaker 6 Because

Speaker 6 they changed the channel after that touchdown. And they had just scored.
And they just scored, so I was like, okay, that's the end of the game.

Speaker 6 And then somehow you guys keep yelling at me that my bet won't.

Speaker 36 Dude, you won. Yeah.

Speaker 73 You won. I still don't believe it.

Speaker 17 So the one problem I would say for the 49ers in this game is that

Speaker 64 Greg Kittle is so fucking good, but he might be the only guy that is worth anything when it comes to throwing the ball.

Speaker 113 He had,

Speaker 122 through the first three quarters, Jimmy G had 15 completions.

Speaker 27 12 of them were to Kittle.

Speaker 6 That's insane. That is pretty crazy.

Speaker 150 He had 131 of the 142 yards in the first three quarters, passing.

Speaker 6 That's crazy. And he had that pancake block where he was just laughing.

Speaker 6 He was doing the Rob Gronkowski where he wrestled a guy into the end zone, and then the camera caught him just smiling his ass off as he was getting.

Speaker 82 He's a horse.

Speaker 119 He's an absolute beast, but it's like you got to have someone else who can help him out, who can help Jimmy G out, and that would be my only concern if I were the 49ers.

Speaker 13 Yeah, but if you can run the ball Sanders, yeah, Manuel Sanders.

Speaker 6 I don't know, but where was he?

Speaker 13 He's pretty good.

Speaker 6 He's pretty good. If you can run the ball

Speaker 6 and then hit Greg Kittle every now and again, that's all that offense really needs, though. Yeah, but the defense is pretty good.

Speaker 74 Losing to the Falcons at home is bad.

Speaker 65 I'm saying, like, do you think this is something because

Speaker 51 they couldn't really run the ball?

Speaker 6 Let me call it a trap game and move on.

Speaker 70 All right. I'm just wondering where you land.

Speaker 110 You see these games, and I agree with you.

Speaker 77 It's a bad spot.

Speaker 108 It's a trap game.

Speaker 119 I had the Falcons,

Speaker 26 but there were also some things where you're like, that feels bad for a team that

Speaker 122 has Super Bowl aspirations.

Speaker 88 Like, if they can't spread the ball around and they can't have other guys help out in the passing game, they become pretty one-dimensional.

Speaker 6 Right. I think that last weekend's game was probably more instructive than this one.

Speaker 6 So their game against the Saints, our big concern about Garoppolo was he can't play quarterback when you want him to be a quarterback. He can play quarterback with a lead or with a tie game.

Speaker 6 And he actually got into a duel with Drew Brees, and they ended up winning the game. So I think that's probably more indicative of their future in the playoffs, I would say.

Speaker 121 Yeah.

Speaker 6 A lot's going to come down to whether or not they get homefield advantage.

Speaker 98 Which they kind of screwed up. Yeah.

Speaker 108 So they got to win out now.

Speaker 70 PFT, why don't you do a couple ad reads before

Speaker 64 we do a quick who's back, and then we'll do Joe Burrow and send everyone on their way.

Speaker 6 So our first ad is coming to you from Peloton. I'm not going to be able to do the Peloton halftime show, Genesis halftime show on Monday night.

Speaker 6 We're going to be doing a live meet and greet kind of a watch party here in New York. I think it's all sold out, right?

Speaker 159 It's all sold out.

Speaker 6 It's all sold out. But I won't be doing the Peloton halftime show, but I have been on my Peloton.

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Speaker 6 I made that first walk to the gym the other week in the winter where you walk around in a corner and that hot or the

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Speaker 6 And then you go, you work out, and you walk on the way back, and you're hot, you're sweaty, and you have to walk that entire way back in a big jacket while you've got sweat all over.

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Speaker 6 That's onepeloton.com and use promo code mytake at checkout. So, before we get to Joe Burrow, we're going to do another ad? Yeah, do another ad.
Two for the price of one ads right now. Ready?

Speaker 6 You have to listen to it, or else we're never going to play the interview. So, if you fast-forward through this, it's going to give your phone a virus.
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Speaker 6 And now, who's back of the week?

Speaker 107 Hank.

Speaker 82 Who's back?

Speaker 7 USA.

Speaker 13 Okay. Rugby.

Speaker 6 USA rugby is, well, kind of back. They put up a good fight this weekend.

Speaker 107 Uh-oh.

Speaker 6 What? They put up a good fight.

Speaker 145 That didn't sound good.

Speaker 153 They tough plays?

Speaker 6 They were put in a really tough pool because it's the second tournament of the year. So in their pool, it was them, Fiji.

Speaker 135 I didn't mean to do this.

Speaker 6 And South Africa and Japan. So we beat the shit out of Japan, and then we almost beat South Africa, and then we didn't beat Fiji.

Speaker 107 Okay.

Speaker 92 Sorry.

Speaker 124 USA won the President's Cup down in Melbourne.

Speaker 30 Oh, Australia.

Speaker 150 Another thing I don't care about.

Speaker 124 I was just trying to follow along. I was confused about the scoring of it, but it seemed like...

Speaker 6 Hey, can you just do this entire segment with the Australian accent?

Speaker 124 I was very confused.

Speaker 124 The details were a bit muggy.

Speaker 124 But it seemed like the U.S. came from behind and had an exhilarating win thanks to Taiga.

Speaker 122 Apparently, we just win this thing every fucking time, though.

Speaker 30 I don't think so.

Speaker 37 I think so.

Speaker 124 I think Rory and the boys...

Speaker 30 No, Rory's not allowed to play.

Speaker 6 It's not. It's Bullocks.
Yeah, you're thinking of the Ryder Cup.

Speaker 44 Right.

Speaker 44 It's everyone's Europe.

Speaker 124 I am thinking of the Ryder Cup.

Speaker 6 The Brazilian's Cup is an entirely different thing altogether.

Speaker 6 It's everybody outside the United Kingdom. It is.
Right. Scott Ernie's from South Africa? Yeah, so it's stupid.

Speaker 64 We just kicked the shit out of everyone.

Speaker 142 We made a tournament just to, like...

Speaker 127 Actually, I kind of like that. Never mind.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to just beat the tournament to win every single time oh hey rest of the world I dare you to play us in football real football kick your ass yeah that it's been around since uh 1998 it's saying I thought it was the Ryder Cup I'm not gonna lie and we've they've only won the rest of the world's only won once good

Speaker 140 we've literally just created we're basically the big brother where we're like hey you want to play a game like want to play one-on-one and one time we let the rest of the world win okay I like that a lot so we're back

Speaker 6 also my who's back here weeves dovetails on that because Patrick Reed is back again yeah so aside from the whole sandwich thing where he was just kind of brooming out the sand trap before he was hitting his shot, his caddy, who it should be noted, is his wife's brother.

Speaker 6 Right. Because he's the kind of guy who's only friends with his wife and her immediate family.
Correct.

Speaker 6 He tried to punch an Australian fan who was giving Patrick

Speaker 6 shit for cheating.

Speaker 121 Yeah.

Speaker 6 So totally out of line by the Australian fan to call it Patrick Reed for cheating.

Speaker 6 You can't get mad at Patrick Reed for cheating.

Speaker 6 That's what Patrick Reed does.

Speaker 14 It was also such a sorry, not sorry. He's like, we get so much shit all the time.

Speaker 108 So, yeah, I went up to the guy and I pushed him.

Speaker 106 And then I walked away.

Speaker 91 Worst thing that happened, he might have spilled a little beer, which I absolutely will not refund him for.

Speaker 121 He is a. There you go.

Speaker 6 I'm pretty sure that Patrick Reed and his wife are related in some way.

Speaker 6 That's an exact thing that Patrick Reed would say. So, yeah, he got off his golf cart, pushed him down, got sent out of the tournament, got sent home, and then I don't know who his caddy was.

Speaker 6 I was hoping that Patrick Reed's wife was going to be his caddy for the last round. But he probably had to do it himself because he has no friends.
No friends at all.

Speaker 14 No, he probably had to have like whatever the course, like some 18-year-old kid.

Speaker 108 Just found a guy out there.

Speaker 30 Isn't it summer there?

Speaker 121 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 35 So he's probably.

Speaker 28 Does school?

Speaker 6 Do Australians go to school? No.

Speaker 64 No, they do summer vacation right now?

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, because you don't have school.

Speaker 145 That's crazy.

Speaker 6 Why are you getting mad at somebody for starting a fight in Australia? Agreed. Two things.
One, if you live in Australia, that's how you say hello.

Speaker 65 You give somebody a good crack. Push them.

Speaker 74 You push them. You put their beer.

Speaker 6 Oi,

Speaker 6 boom. And then you punch them.
That's like shaking their hand. Nice.
Number two,

Speaker 6 if your boss is Patrick Reed, you should be allowed to blow off steam by fighting anyone you want. Agreed.
If you have to deal with that shit 40 hours a week. Double agree.

Speaker 44 Double agree.

Speaker 6 So I think we all agree fair play.

Speaker 11 All right, my who's back is Christmas parties.

Speaker 27 Everyone be safe this week.

Speaker 96 There's always, it's always interesting going to your office Christmas party.

Speaker 169 Don't be be the guy.

Speaker 150 I think we've talked about this, but don't be the drunkest. Yep.

Speaker 13 But also

Speaker 139 have fun because it's awesome to have.

Speaker 64 I think places should start doing Christmas parties in January because this is like too many Christmas parties happen right now where you get Christmas party overload.

Speaker 17 Give them a little treat on the other side of January 1st.

Speaker 6 Or like in the summertime.

Speaker 26 Yeah, just revolutionize the Christmas party.

Speaker 6 There are no real holidays in the summer. So why don't you have an Australian Christmas party?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's also a way for your boss to like cheap out because because

Speaker 90 all the restaurants are a lot cheaper to have a Christmas party in like January 10th.

Speaker 6 My mind just got blown. In Christmas in Australia, do they celebrate when it's hot outside?

Speaker 47 Yeah, that's what I'm saying, dude.

Speaker 1 The fact that they're like

Speaker 77 summer Christmas, that's crazy.

Speaker 14 You just brushed right by the fact that

Speaker 51 they're on summer break and it's also going to be Christmas?

Speaker 6 That's crazy. Yeah.
It took me, that was delayed onset. That was like me absorbing the 49ers Falcons over.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 37 I appreciate that.

Speaker 116 That's fucking wild.

Speaker 6 I know. So Santa Claus, does he wear cutoffs for when he goes down to Australia? Does he like tear away his pants? And he's like, yo, it's short Santa.

Speaker 65 Yeah, he's got

Speaker 17 a tank top underneath and a Hawaiian shirt.

Speaker 133 And he takes it off.

Speaker 6 He rides his surfboard. God damn, that's cool.

Speaker 1 Here he is, though.

Speaker 88 Joe Heisman, Joe Burrow.

Speaker 103 He's got the Heisman Trophy literally sitting right in.

Speaker 92 Way heavier, by the way.

Speaker 71 I almost threw my back out.

Speaker 112 Yeah, the Heisman Trophy

Speaker 6 and the Lowman Trophy were in the same room for the first time in history.

Speaker 51 Fuck, it was cool. So here he is, Joe Burrow.

Speaker 106 Awesome interview, and we'll see everyone on Wednesday.

Speaker 6 Love you guys.

Speaker 5 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 21 I think if you're watching this, you see how special.

Speaker 97 He's got the Heisman Trophy on the table.

Speaker 155 It is Heisman Trophy winner Joe Burrow, Louisiana State University, fresh off his Heisman, less than 24 hours.

Speaker 139 Biggest landslide in Heisman history.

Speaker 118 Does that feel good? It does feel good.

Speaker 74 That feels good.

Speaker 26 That's pretty sick.

Speaker 11 So you've done probably 700

Speaker 27 interviews this past, like, what, three days?

Speaker 102 Yeah.

Speaker 70 Are you completely sick of it?

Speaker 126 Yeah. I've got probably eight hours of sleep the last three nights.
Okay. And

Speaker 126 yeah, absolutely sick of the interviews.

Speaker 3 What's the most annoying question people keep asking you?

Speaker 126 I keep, I mean, after the speech last night, I've got, what does Coach O mean to you about a thousand times? And I love talking about him, but you can only say how much he means to you

Speaker 13 a couple of times.

Speaker 6 And we're probably the biggest Coach O guys out there. We love Coach O, we've loved him for you know, ever ever since he probably when he took over the interim spot at USC.

Speaker 6 We were rooting for him to get a big job, and we were all behind him. So we know we have a pretty good idea why you love Coach O so much.

Speaker 6 I'm going to switch it up on you. I'm going to ask you about a coach maybe you haven't been asked about as much.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Your offensive coordinator, Insminger. Yes.
So he is a football guy through and

Speaker 126 More football guy than me or Coach O that nobody knows about.

Speaker 126 No, so last night he was

Speaker 126 so I was on the in the aisle and he was on the the far end of the row and I look over and he's got his big old dip dip in his lip

Speaker 126 spitting into his empty water bottle at the Heisman Trophy ceremony.

Speaker 7 Now you don't know definitively that Coach O didn't have a worm in his mouth because he has done that before.

Speaker 128 So we'll say for right now he's a bigger football guy than Coach O, but we don't know 100%.

Speaker 126 I guess you never know what the worm. Yeah, right.

Speaker 89 Has he done the worm for you guys?

Speaker 126 He has not.

Speaker 83 Have you heard that story? I have not.

Speaker 16 Okay, so he basically,

Speaker 14 I think he was, what was he was in school.

Speaker 143 Can you tell the story about the worm?

Speaker 44 Is that true? Yeah.

Speaker 74 So what happened?

Speaker 168 I did it in the spring game

Speaker 168 my senior year.

Speaker 168 It was kind of funny. After the practice, we had a spring game the next day, and I was looking for worms on the field.
My coach, Coach Gilbert, goes, my nickname's baby.

Speaker 168 He goes, baby, what are you doing here? I said, Coach, I'm looking for some worms. He goes, and there were some worms on the field.
He goes, okay.

Speaker 168 Well, here's a big one here.

Speaker 74 He said, baby, you going fishing?

Speaker 168 I said, no, Coach, I just got a little motivational speech I'm going to give to the team. So here's the deal.
So we had a big deal that night in the spring game.

Speaker 74 It was my senior year.

Speaker 168 I was the team captain, and I got up and said, the story, there was two men fishing in ice holes in Alaska.

Speaker 168 And one was catching fish and the other wasn't.

Speaker 168 And he looks at the guy, he says, man, hey, how are you catching all that fish? He said, man, I'm using worms. He goes, I'm using worms too.

Speaker 168 He said, yeah, but I need to feed my family. He said, the only way I know how to feed my family is to catch these fish, and I got to do whatever it takes.
He said, I'm going to tell you my secret.

Speaker 168 Those worms got to be real warm before you put them on the hook. So I keep them in my mouth to warm them up.
Then I put them on the hook.

Speaker 168 And I said, you know, just like that fisherman doing whatever it takes for his family to feed his family, I'll do whatever it takes to win.

Speaker 9 And I pulled out that big old worm.

Speaker 79 I got out of my mouth.

Speaker 74 That thing was crawling around in between my teeth, man.

Speaker 74 I was so glad to get that worm out of my mouth, I promise you.

Speaker 168 But

Speaker 168 that was 23 years old. That was a long time ago.

Speaker 51 It's the best.

Speaker 110 So, all right, so so you won.

Speaker 5 It's crazy, whirlwind. My real question is, how awkward has it been going around

Speaker 122 with Jalen and Chase and Justin, the other finalists, and them being like, well, it's yours, dude.

Speaker 126 So I actually haven't seen them after the Heisman Trophy ceremony itself.

Speaker 126 They ushered me out of there, and I think

Speaker 126 all three of those guys left this morning, and I had to stay. So I haven't seen them today, but

Speaker 126 I played with Chase for a year, so it was awesome to see him.

Speaker 88 Yeah, but they, I mean, I would imagine going to all these events and seeing everything, and they're just along for the ride.

Speaker 7 Actually, I'm winning the Heisman.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I mean, Jalen's dad came out to me and he's like, you know, I told Jalen, we're going to, we're happy to be here and just stand up and clap for you to go up there and get the Heisman.

Speaker 6 Yes, yes. At what point during this year were you like, this is going to happen? Like, this is an actual possibility that I'm going to be winning the Heisman Trophy.

Speaker 126 I mean, after the Texas game, I kind of... felt like we could do it every single game.
And, you know, we threw the ball.

Speaker 126 So, I mean, we were technically in a four-minute drill, and we threw the ball three straight times and scored a touchdown. And I think that was kind of our, you know, hey, country, we're here.

Speaker 126 We're not LSU anymore. We're the new age LSU.

Speaker 50 Right, right.

Speaker 108 So you made Coach O cry last night.

Speaker 92 You cried, too. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I didn't think that would be possible to make Coach O cry, but he cried on national television.

Speaker 5 Your speech was unbelievable.

Speaker 141 Were you shocked in your own self, like getting up there and being like, damn, I didn't think that this moment would be this overwhelming?

Speaker 126 Yeah, because

Speaker 126 I knew I was going to win it.

Speaker 126 I go hug all my family, hug all the coaches, and I get up there. I'm like, gosh.

Speaker 125 Shit.

Speaker 74 Yeah, like, this is happening.

Speaker 126 And then, you know, you see all the guys behind you that you grew up watching and idolizing, and you're like, wow, I'm really up here.

Speaker 126 So it's just kind of overwhelming.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And the laser lock that Coach O had on.
Beaming would be an understatement to say that he was beaming.

Speaker 6 He wasn't crying. His eyes were sweating.
And it probably tasted like a delicious Cajun crawfish at Toufeg. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 126 It was probably acidic. Could have probably

Speaker 126 melted his suit if I got on him.

Speaker 5 I'm kind of mad that you didn't wear the Letterman jacket here.

Speaker 141 Do you realize when you wear the Letterman jacket and you have that little curl that comes down in the front of your forehead that you are like every 80s

Speaker 18 bully from every movie in the 80s?

Speaker 126 Yeah, you know, people were tweeting at me all weekend because I don't have a coat in Louisiana. I keep them all in Ohio, and I just had my Letterman jacket.

Speaker 126 I'm like, I guess I'll bring this thing to New York. And then everyone started tweeting me like, you look like you could be the quarterback of the high school team.

Speaker 126 They just put someone's head in the urinal or something.

Speaker 30 Right, right, right.

Speaker 22 You do.

Speaker 88 You look like the guy who's giving everyone swirlies, and then you go out there and throw for like 600 yards and beat a team 70 to nothing.

Speaker 30 You're like, whatever.

Speaker 141 I'm going to take home the prom queen.

Speaker 5 So I like that look.

Speaker 54 I like that look.

Speaker 103 The Joe Burrow, badass 80s, like, you know, bad boy stuff.

Speaker 126 Yeah,

Speaker 126 I want to get my neck big enough so I can wear one of those NBA sweatbands around my neck like Jim McMahon.

Speaker 74 Oh, yeah. Yes.

Speaker 30 Hell yeah.

Speaker 73 Yes.

Speaker 6 What's a more meaningful trophy for you? This one or the Ohio Mr. Football trophy that you got that your dad?

Speaker 126 That we made by ourselves because Mr. Football doesn't give out a trophy.
The fact that Mr. Football doesn't give out a trophy is unreal.
It's messed up.

Speaker 125 It is.

Speaker 126 It is. Because

Speaker 126 I was talking to the guy that was interviewing me. I was like, hey, when do I get the trophy? He's like, oh, you don't get a trophy.

Speaker 107 I was like, what do you mean?

Speaker 126 And then he said, yeah, you just get the title.

Speaker 83 I was like, I don't want that.

Speaker 6 That's a millennial move on your part. It is.
It's a participation trophy just for winning the best football player in the state of Ohio.

Speaker 23 Well, it's a prestigious trophy because the winner before you, the year before you, right, wasn't it Mitch Travis?

Speaker 126 It was two years before.

Speaker 126 I think I finished third in the voting, my sophomore year, and he was first, yeah.

Speaker 66 You finished third in sophomore year?

Speaker 74 Yeah. Shit, that's awesome.

Speaker 126 Something like that. That's insane.

Speaker 13 Now, when your dad worked for Ohio, and

Speaker 119 was he defensive coordinator?

Speaker 126 Yep, defensive coordinator.

Speaker 163 So when you were growing up watching football, were you like, I just expect there to be shitty football played on Tuesdays and Wednesday nights and I have like 50 people in Maxim.

Speaker 126 Matchion started when I was

Speaker 126 my eighth grade and freshman year. So we were, I was fired up because I didn't have to do any homework on those nights.
I could just go to a football game and go home.

Speaker 126 And mom was like, Do you have any homework? I'd be like, Yeah. And she's like, Go to bed.

Speaker 21 You're fine.

Speaker 68 That's amazing.

Speaker 24 So Matchion meant a little something different to you.

Speaker 126 Something special in my heart.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the rest of the adult world basically sweating out these random games on a Tuesday night in November.

Speaker 126 Lowered my GPA a couple of points.

Speaker 13 That's hilarious.

Speaker 6 So you go from Ohio to Louisiana.

Speaker 6 What state has the better cuisine?

Speaker 6 Because Ohio's got Skyline Chili. Oh, God.

Speaker 36 You don't like it. Big fan.
He's a hit. Here you go.
No fan.

Speaker 30 He hates it. I hate it.

Speaker 6 Are you going to switch back? No,

Speaker 6 I like Skyline Chinese.

Speaker 74 Susani's going to hate me. I hate that stuff.
It's not real chili.

Speaker 6 It's just sauce.

Speaker 30 What do you mean?

Speaker 159 Susan's going to hate you.

Speaker 126 I mean, they've hated me for a while because I've had these takes since I first got to Ohio State. And they're like, what do you mean?

Speaker 74 You're from Ohio.

Speaker 126 It doesn't matter. I hate it.

Speaker 35 Okay, good, good.

Speaker 17 At least you have a brain then, because Skyline chills.

Speaker 126 So, the thing about Louisiana food is it's really good for about three months, but they only know how to make one thing, and it's they dip whatever they can find in a bucket of oil and fry it.

Speaker 13 Delicious, delicious.

Speaker 126 We can only eat it for a couple of months before it gets really old, right?

Speaker 126 Yeah, you there is a point where you're like, hey, maybe let's mix in a salad, yeah, maybe a salad, maybe some pasta, like a steak, but yeah, they just dip it all in there.

Speaker 18 So, the story about uh coach O recruiting you and the 15 pounds of crawfish, that was 100% true.

Speaker 126 100% true.

Speaker 108 So tell it, walk us through it.

Speaker 131 Tell it for people who might not know this story.

Speaker 126 Yeah, so I was, you know, we have this place in Columbus that we used to go to and eat some crawfish. And Coach O was talking to me.
He's like, you ever had crawfish before?

Speaker 126 Yeah, I had it a couple of times. And he's like, do you like it? I was like, yeah, I love it.

Speaker 126 So we go to this place called Mike Anderson's.

Speaker 6 We went there.

Speaker 126 Yeah. Yeah, it's right next to my house.
And

Speaker 126 I'm looking for the crawfish on the menu, and there's no crawfish. I was like, oh, I was, you know, looking forward to having some crawfish in crawfish country.

Speaker 126 And Coach O's like, you want some crawfish? I was like, oh, you know, it's all right. You know, I was hoping to get some.
He's like, I got it. And

Speaker 126 he makes a call. Like, 20 minutes later, they bring in this

Speaker 126 bathtub of crawfish, bring it in the back, they boil it and bring it right back out.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's got a crawfish guy.

Speaker 70 That's the least surprising.

Speaker 6 I'll bet you Coach O's crawfish guy doesn't even have a stove. It's just a pager.
Yeah. And he only gets one call.

Speaker 75 And it's from Coach O'Connor.

Speaker 30 Yeah, one contact.

Speaker 6 He's like, oh, shit, Coach O wants.

Speaker 126 He doesn't even have to say anything. He just hits a button.

Speaker 166 Yeah.

Speaker 14 He just pages him 911.

Speaker 75 He's like, all right, well, I've got to get the crawfish.

Speaker 30 Here we go.

Speaker 6 Have you ever gone jogging at high noon with Coach O?

Speaker 126 I have not, but I've been driving out of workouts when I've seen Coach O, and he just gives a little fist bump when he sees me driving out of there.

Speaker 88 It's becoming friends with the sun.

Speaker 83 Yep.

Speaker 74 Got to know it. Got to love it.

Speaker 126 Ray Baker. That's what he calls it.
Ray Baker. What's that?

Speaker 74 The sun. Oh, that's his name for the sun.

Speaker 118 Yeah, Ray Baker.

Speaker 83 Ray Baker.

Speaker 9 That's so good.

Speaker 6 We should make sunglasses or just called Ray Baker.

Speaker 74 Ray Baker. I like that.

Speaker 5 What did he tell you guys before the Alabama game?

Speaker 17 Because you guys hadn't beaten Alabama in forever.

Speaker 6 Yeah. We went to the game last year, didn't score.

Speaker 126 Not that fun. Not that fun.
Not that fun at all.

Speaker 160 We cheered a lot before the game.

Speaker 126 Yeah, it was really.

Speaker 7 No, everyone was fired up before the game.

Speaker 126 You know, going into that game, I was like, I had a feeling that we were going to get our asses kicked.

Speaker 118 Right.

Speaker 5 So, how about this year, though, when you guys, you know, haven't, I think it was, you guys hadn't scored a touchdown against Alabama in like seven or eight quarters, hadn't beaten them in a while.

Speaker 117 What did he tell you guys in the locker room beforehand?

Speaker 126 Yeah,

Speaker 126 he said it stops here. You know,

Speaker 126 he drew a line, a fake line with

Speaker 126 his foot and his finger, and he said, you know, this just stops here. And we felt like we were the better team.
Like, we kind of knew we were going to go in and take care of business.

Speaker 127 Yeah, that confidence is.

Speaker 15 That's what I was explaining it on Sunday last week's podcast after watching you in the the Georgia game, the SEC Championship.

Speaker 5 There's something about your look and your demeanor on the field that makes me want to run through a brick wall.

Speaker 88 Where it's like, you have this confidence in your face.

Speaker 18 You did the walk-off touchdown against Georgia.

Speaker 37 That was a cocky move.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 95 Where you just knew, you're like, I don't know.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I mean, he was wide open. I knew I got it to him, and I just started running off.

Speaker 19 So for people who didn't watch the game, Joe threw a touchdown pass, and while the ball was basically in the air,

Speaker 117 he turned and walked towards the sideball and was like, that's a touchdown.

Speaker 13 I'm good. It was pretty awesome.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I'll do something before every game. So, the two teams have, you know, they do their team warm-ups, and each team is on like the 35 or something.

Speaker 126 And, you know, when we get done, I'll go and just stand at like the 48 so I don't cross their line and just stare at them. And they have all their people that line up and try to like hide it.

Speaker 126 And I'm just like looking right through them. And they're just standing there, trying to like staring me in the eyes.
And I'm just

Speaker 126 beating my eyes through all of them.

Speaker 23 And they're like, Where did this bully from 1986 come from?

Speaker 31 Yeah,

Speaker 126 I got a guy on the sideline with my my Letterman jacket to come out and put it on.

Speaker 30 I love that.

Speaker 72 I love it.

Speaker 6 So a lot of people were saying that

Speaker 6 you got your swagger when you got hit in that bull game, the game against UCF, and the dude kind of laid you out and you popped up afterwards. Because it looked like it was a pretty bad hit.

Speaker 6 I actually thought that you were kind of a changed player after the Alabama game last year. Yeah.
Like something clicked in you at that point. Like for you, where was it?

Speaker 6 Where was the moment where you're like, you know what? I'm taking this next step forward and I feel good about where I'm at right now. Like, everything in the past is in the past.

Speaker 6 Would you say it was after that loss against Alabama?

Speaker 126 Yeah, so we played Rice the next game.

Speaker 126 So we played Arkansas after Alabama and stunk it up. We were terrible.
We beat him by like seven or something.

Speaker 85 I remember that game because you played it.

Speaker 126 Because Nick Rossett stopped at the two-yard line and everyone was pissed because we didn't hit the over.

Speaker 22 You guys kept on running plays with like no time left.

Speaker 126 That was Coach E. He was like, screw this.
I want to score a touchdown. And Nick kept falling down.

Speaker 83 They kept on.

Speaker 30 It was weird, too.

Speaker 53 They would fall down on first down, then they ran a real play play on second down, and they fall down.

Speaker 51 Like, you guys were doing both things.

Speaker 53 I remember vividly watching it.

Speaker 106 I had Arkansas.

Speaker 118 Yeah.

Speaker 11 So I was happy that he felt, but that was crazy.

Speaker 126 Yeah, Coach E. was not very happy in the locker room.
He's like, Nick, what are you doing?

Speaker 126 I wanted to score a touchdown there.

Speaker 139 It was crazy. It was crazy.
But keep going.

Speaker 126 Yeah, and so then we played Rice after Arkansas, and that was my first 300-yard game. And then we played Texas AM, the dreaded seven-overtime game.

Speaker 126 That was not that fun. No.

Speaker 125 Miserable, actually.

Speaker 74 Was it weird?

Speaker 126 Was it it weird after you lost and coacho was soaking wet from the game so i was so i had passed over to him oh yeah i didn't even know that had happened i would have stopped that immediately but you know so i actually passed out in the locker room because i didn't so i didn't really know what was going on i was dehydrated as

Speaker 135 that's great yeah

Speaker 126 you you totally lost consciousness yeah i was super dizzy and lightheaded and i had to like chug a couple apples applesauce like the go-go squeezes yeah my blood sugar up that's nice so then i had a pretty good game there and then you know, it was really the bowl practice because I got there in the summer.

Speaker 126 I didn't have a spring practice with them.

Speaker 126 And the bowl practice was kind of a spring ball for me. Right.
And so I got with my guys and kind of treated it like an offseason. And then I think that really helped us in the bowl game.

Speaker 156 So the story about the day you signed and Billy Cannon, who was the only other LSU Tiger to win the Heisman Trophy, do you think, so for people who don't know, Billy Cannon won the Heisman Trophy 60 years ago.

Speaker 24 He passed away May 20th, 2018.

Speaker 64 On that day, Joe Burrows signed officially to be the quarterback at LSU.

Speaker 66 That's some like.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I mean, this,

Speaker 125 that's

Speaker 26 weird.

Speaker 128 All right, so I know people have asked you about it, but I'm going to flip it on you.

Speaker 133 Will you now when, hopefully, you know, 75, 80 years from now when you pass away, will you make sure that you pass away during like signing?

Speaker 118 On signing day?

Speaker 126 Like, you got to make sure. If I'm on live support, I will make sure my family pulls the plug on signing day.
Okay, good.

Speaker 29 I was going to say, don't be selfish and, like, pass away in the middle of August or something.

Speaker 30 Fuck this whole thing.

Speaker 126 I'll hold it out till December.

Speaker 6 It'd be like Eli Manning IV commits to play at LST on the day you're dead.

Speaker 74 Arch Manning Jr.

Speaker 9 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 30 Exactly.

Speaker 29 Okay, good.

Speaker 26 That's all I was.

Speaker 21 When I saw that, I was like, I know people have been asking this, but I really want to know, can he make sure to die on the correct time periods?

Speaker 74 Yeah, I got you.

Speaker 6 The intangibles matter.

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I've been a fan of yours ever since I realized what a huge fan of Matthew De Lovdovas.

Speaker 126 Oh, yeah. I got the deli shirt on.

Speaker 6 You are rocking the deli shirt. And people thought I was just making that up about you, but you are probably a bigger deli fan than I am.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 At what point did you realize, like, this is actually, he's actually better than LeBron James?

Speaker 74 So

Speaker 126 I've been a deli fan from the jump.

Speaker 126 Back in 2014, when they got him, and then when Kyrie went down in the 2015 finals, everyone was going crazy. I'm like, relax, all right?

Speaker 7 Deli's gonna be a good one.

Speaker 118 We've got deli is going to come in and wreak havoc.

Speaker 13 Okay, we're we're good.

Speaker 6 He shut Steph Curry down in that first game.

Speaker 83 And he's fluids.

Speaker 6 Everyone thinks it's a joke, but he's good.

Speaker 30 Like, he is good.

Speaker 75 He's good ash.

Speaker 135 Come on, come on.

Speaker 6 He's good, and he works really hard, and he hits you in the nuts when you see coming.

Speaker 126 So there's this.

Speaker 126 So our quarterback coach at Ohio State had us do like

Speaker 126 They're all about like elite people, and they had us do like a presentation of elite people. I did mine on Deli, and there was a quote from David Blatt that said, like Deli's first camp, he

Speaker 126 they were having like this little just pickup game, and he picked up Kyrie full court the entire time. And Kyrie's like, What the what the hell is going on?

Speaker 30 Yeah, he's the pest.

Speaker 126 And Delhi picked him up full court at like the rec center or something, of course he did.

Speaker 6 That's what Delhi does, yeah.

Speaker 147 Um, so did you have a moment last night when you won the Heisman where you're like, even if everything fails in life, I can open up a bar in LSU and just put the Heisman in there and just like just reap the benefits of it and just sell like crappy food for the rest of my life.

Speaker 77 Well, the Heisman Trophy is one of those trophies where if you win it, that's you forever.

Speaker 30 Like you have that no matter what.

Speaker 138 Anything else happens in your life, you're Heisman Trophy.

Speaker 7 Have you had that moment yet where you're like,

Speaker 126 I guess there we go.

Speaker 166 This is the moment right here.

Speaker 118 Okay, you're good.

Speaker 126 You can either just open a restaurant called Burroughs, E-A-U-X, and put the Heisman Trophy in there, sell like hamburgers or something.

Speaker 6 A car dealership? Yeah.

Speaker 60 Because you're a car dealer.

Speaker 30 You sell a few scars.

Speaker 5 You're always Heisman Trophy winner Joe Burrow.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 70 And so you have that forever.

Speaker 118 Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 5 Okay, that's, yeah, I mean, that is crazy to think, like, something, you know, are you 23?

Speaker 126 23 is that.

Speaker 30 To have that, like, that's it for life.

Speaker 74 Crazy.

Speaker 77 Obviously, you're going to accomplish a lot more, but I would personally just stop trying after that.

Speaker 74 Yeah, I mean, I'm good.

Speaker 161 I'm good.

Speaker 1 NFL, no thanks.

Speaker 88 I'm just going to be the Heisman Trophy winner.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I mean, I could probably do it if I wanted to. Yes.

Speaker 6 The EAUX on the back of your jersey when you wore that out for senior night. I don't know.
Did you watch the camera?

Speaker 36 I did.

Speaker 13 What are you?

Speaker 118 Did you guys do it?

Speaker 30 Oh, so we have the cameraman incredible shot.

Speaker 6 It was like a tracking shot from Goodfellows.

Speaker 6 You should have done it. You should have just had like $100 bills that you just handed to everybody on your way out there.
But it was amazing watching it.

Speaker 6 The camera follows you out at Death Valley, pans around. He does like a 360.
It almost felt like we were there out on the field, like getting to experience that.

Speaker 6 But for you, you decided to put the EA UX on your back, right? That was your idea? Yeah. Why'd you want to do that?

Speaker 126 You know, I thought it was going to be a great moment for LSU in Louisiana because, you know, they had been doing it since I had first got there and started up crappy, like 45% or something.

Speaker 126 And they kept doing it. And, you know, I thought it was just a way for me to pay tribute to the state.

Speaker 107 Yeah.

Speaker 147 It is cool seeing and everything you've said about your love for Louisiana and the relationship you've had now with Baton Rouge and LSU.

Speaker 139 You don't see that very often in college sports, especially because guys don't stay around for as long, you know, in basketball.

Speaker 14 You've only been there two years, and you're you feel like a native son now.

Speaker 5 It's crazy.

Speaker 126 It's it's wild just driving down the roads and they say, Let's go, Joe, or let's go burrow or burrows or something on like the little signs on the side of the road. So it's been, it's been crazy.

Speaker 101 Yeah.

Speaker 81 Um, do you have, uh, I'm sure you still have friends on the Ohio State team?

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Do you, is it, was it like any hard feelings when you left Ohio State?

Speaker 126 There really wasn't. And, you know, they understood why I left.
I had, I had broke my hand

Speaker 126 the camp before I left.

Speaker 126 And then me and Dwayne Haskins had were battling it out for two years and ended up battling out in that spring. And he ended up beating me out.
And they understood why I left.

Speaker 126 And there were no hard feelings at all. Yeah.

Speaker 110 Do you...

Speaker 96 You're a big Spongebob guy.

Speaker 126 Big Spongebob guy.

Speaker 44 What's your...

Speaker 163 We are huge SpongeBob guys.

Speaker 126 My Twitter.

Speaker 126 What do you call that? The header? Yeah. Yeah, it's Dirty Dan, the Dirty Dan episode.

Speaker 60 Remind us that

Speaker 108 we're such huge fans.

Speaker 139 We've watched all of the episodes so many times we forget sometimes.

Speaker 7 Remind us what happened in the Dirty Dan episode?

Speaker 126 Oh, SpongeBob and Patrick were arguing about who was going to be Dirty Dan.

Speaker 107 Oh, and then

Speaker 126 obviously hibernating Sandy comes up. Obviously.

Speaker 126 I'm Dirty Dan and picks him up and rips Patrick's head off.

Speaker 111 Now, we actually have watched SpongeBob once.

Speaker 65 I did enjoy it, but we're a little too old for it.

Speaker 14 But I loved the one time we did watch it.

Speaker 74 Hank's a huge SpongeBob fan.

Speaker 5 And you're a cartoon fan, like, in general, right?

Speaker 83 Yeah.

Speaker 65 Like, every well, so is SpongeBob number one for you?

Speaker 74 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 20 See, I wish I was, I wish I

Speaker 156 wish I was younger.

Speaker 89 I wish I could go back in time because I feel like I've just missed SpongeBob.

Speaker 74 I missed the whole thing.

Speaker 126 So, you were a Tom and Jerry guy?

Speaker 6 No, we're like Simpson.

Speaker 6 Tom and Jerry was a family guy.

Speaker 43 Yeah, well, how old do you think we are?

Speaker 126 I'm a Tom and Jerry guy.

Speaker 166 I'm younger than you guys. I'm a Tom and Jerry guy.

Speaker 30 Roadrun Uppets.

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Wiley Coyote.

Speaker 30 Simpsons guys.

Speaker 70 I'm a Simpsons guy. Up and down.

Speaker 88 Simpsons family guy.

Speaker 126 I got a pair of of Simpsons, Bart Simpson cotton shorts.

Speaker 125 Okay.

Speaker 6 Eat my shorts. Yeah.

Speaker 130 Has it set in yet that you're going to be one of the either first or second pick in the NFL draft?

Speaker 147 Nope.

Speaker 116 Because that happened fast.

Speaker 126 Yeah, that happened real fast. Real fast.
I was an undrafted guy last year.

Speaker 133 It's incredible.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I'm going to keep you humble.

Speaker 133 I actually read a scouting report from Jeremy Fowler.

Speaker 139 He talked to scouts from ESPN.

Speaker 108 He said, one scout said he's not a particularly thick, stout guy, and he doesn't have a huge arm.

Speaker 16 Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 16 I just gave Joe a little more.

Speaker 85 Yeah, I just, listen, Oklahoma, he's going to take that out on you.

Speaker 105 What I just told him because you're like, hmm, okay, yeah, all right, a little chip on the shoulder.

Speaker 70 But yeah, people are still doubting you.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I mean, they always do.

Speaker 13 It's all good. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you think that you're not thick enough?

Speaker 126 I mean, I think I'm all right.

Speaker 64 Rate your thickness.

Speaker 6 How many C's?

Speaker 126 Oh, how many C's? How many C's?

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 125 Three C's. Three C's.

Speaker 30 That's not thick enough.

Speaker 126 Josh Allen's

Speaker 126 12 C's.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I saw your pants get pulled down in that one game.

Speaker 6 I would say two C's. That's true.
You need to eat more of that fried food.

Speaker 6 That was your Heisman moment.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I think I could have broken that tackle if I wanted to get completely pants and run naked around the field.

Speaker 6 I actually thought that at the time I was like, you're being modest. You cared more about making sure that everything didn't.

Speaker 44 Yeah,

Speaker 126 my manhood didn't.

Speaker 126 It grace itself on national television.

Speaker 83 It's an all-time moment, though.

Speaker 6 If you had broken out of the tackle and then run for a first step.

Speaker 126 Or like thrown a touchdown with my.

Speaker 75 Yes.

Speaker 88 That actually was where the state of Louisiana first showed that they had your back because there was a ton of complaints to the FCC, not that Joe Burrows' ass was shown on TV, that they replayed it.

Speaker 64 Yeah, that they replayed it and made you look like a fool.

Speaker 161 That was the complaint.

Speaker 107 They were like, that's fucked up.

Speaker 60 That's our quarterback.

Speaker 30 How would you do that?

Speaker 29 I think that was the most.

Speaker 126 Verified Twitter crowd right there. Yeah,

Speaker 126 they need to apologize to that guy. Yes, yes.

Speaker 138 And the people of Louisiana, you can't embarrass LSU.

Speaker 108 Agreed. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Have you heard that you're older than Lamar Jackson?

Speaker 126 Yeah, he was in my recruiting class. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, speaking of recruiting, when you were deciding to transfer out of Ohio State, where else were you looking at besides LSU?

Speaker 126 It was really Cincinnati and North Carolina.

Speaker 126 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 159 Mac Brown? Did he get in your head?

Speaker 126 No, he was not there yet.

Speaker 88 So you were trying to follow in the steps of Mitch Trubisky.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 127 Mr.

Speaker 83 Ohio and North Carolina.

Speaker 126 That was honestly one of the reasons why,

Speaker 126 because

Speaker 126 he was from Ohio and was

Speaker 87 Mr.

Speaker 126 Football my sophomore year, and he played one year at North Carolina and left and was number two overall draft pick.

Speaker 118 I'm like, hey, what if I want to go do that? Yeah,

Speaker 126 let's go do that. But

Speaker 126 then I talked to Coach O and

Speaker 118 the rest of history.

Speaker 6 Did you ever think, like, after you met Coach O, was it kind of up in the air, or did you always know, like, this feels like the right place for me?

Speaker 126 So I think, so at Cincinnati, they had people that I was close with from Ohio State because Luke Fickle was the DC at Ohio State my first two years.

Speaker 126 And

Speaker 126 I was really just went on a visit to LSU to be like, you know, I kind of want to win a national championship. Let's go see what this place is about.
And then I talked to Coach O

Speaker 126 and didn't talk to him for a week.

Speaker 13 And he was

Speaker 126 wanting to keep recruiting me, but

Speaker 126 I don't like talking on the phone. I don't like the recruiting stuff.
And so Coach O would call Dan, my brother, every single night and

Speaker 126 try to recruit through Dan.

Speaker 30 That's perfect.

Speaker 64 So

Speaker 5 we were at LSU when your recruiting was going on. We were there, I think, the

Speaker 30 it was a great week, yes, yes.

Speaker 7 And we were like, they told us, like, hey, we think we might have this guy, we're trying really hard, like, come on, let's do it.

Speaker 117 And then we saw the Hold That Tiger tweet.

Speaker 139 I think it was like two days after, or whatever it was, officially.

Speaker 127 I was like, fuck, yes, they got the guy.

Speaker 6 The official quote that Coach O gave us about you was, he's a ball player.

Speaker 43 Yeah, and he had the end of the day.

Speaker 126 And that might be the best compliment Coach O could pay somebody. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 6 We were just kind of like bullshit with him after the interview, talking about recruiting, whatever.

Speaker 6 And then I think Derek mentioned there's this kid from Ohio State that Coach O is trying to get at quarterback. And he just locked in on us.

Speaker 121 He goes, oh, he's a ball player.

Speaker 6 He got really excited. I was like, he has so much faith in this guy.
And I guess it goes two ways because, you know,

Speaker 6 you obviously share a connection with him where you'll run through a brick wall for him.

Speaker 6 But I think he actually has that same connection with you where you've become like such a big part of his his life right now that he feels like you almost lead him at times too.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I think Coacho likes me so much because

Speaker 126 he always tells me I would have been an all-American linebacker too. And so I think he loves that part of me.

Speaker 6 He likes the fact that you could also lay the wood on somebody if you had to.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 96 You mentioned Derek, so our friend Derek Pomansky, who works for LSU, who's like Coach O's right-hand guy.

Speaker 117 So he told me a story, and it's so perfect that it's worked out this way.

Speaker 18 So when you were getting recruited by LSU, it was basically in May when they probably have a little downtime, and he was supposed to go on vacation.

Speaker 126 Yeah, it was his Mother's Day weekend, I guess, actually.

Speaker 88 Yeah, he was supposed to go on vacation with his wife, and he was supposed to have time off for the first time in like six months.

Speaker 117 And

Speaker 96 you decided to go to LSU to do the recruiting visit last second, so he had to cancel the plans and vacation with his wife.

Speaker 128 And his wife said to him, He better fucking win a Heisman.

Speaker 104 And then we flash forward in two years.

Speaker 102 There's Zoop. There it is.
Yep.

Speaker 125 Boom. There's the Heisman.

Speaker 74 On the table.

Speaker 62 I fucking love stories like that.

Speaker 15 So you, you clearly, like, did you tell Derek, like, you're welcome, dude?

Speaker 126 Yeah, he told me. I didn't hear the story until last night.
I'm like, well, Derek, I'm glad I got you out of the doghouse. You're welcome.

Speaker 120 It took a while, but the Heisman literally got him out of the doghouse.

Speaker 6 Is that weird to you at all that you've accomplished a lot? Like, you're SEC champion.

Speaker 6 You've got a Heisman trophy sitting right in front of you right now, and you're about to go on the toughest two-game stretch potentially of your entire season.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I mean, that's what we've, you know, the Heisman is nice, but we've, this is what we wanted. We wanted the national championship.
This is what I've been working for for 15 years.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's weird because it kind of like it kind of is almost a mid-season award when you get down to the games that really, really, really matter at the end.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I'm ready to get back to practice and stop doing all these interviews with all these people and just get back to get back on the practice.

Speaker 85 You don't have to look at us in the eyes when you say that.

Speaker 6 Do you have an exclusive story for us?

Speaker 74 Yeah, I do. Okay.

Speaker 126 So

Speaker 126 at our old facility,

Speaker 126 you guys were there. And there's that big hall long hallway that you can just see all the way down.
All the meeting rooms are right there.

Speaker 126 And every once in a while, Coach O would walk down and just start singing, hold that tiger, and just sing that over and over again, all the way down and all the way back, at least once a day, at least.

Speaker 61 And everyone was just like, oh, there he comes.

Speaker 166 I mean,

Speaker 126 we would all stop our film and just...

Speaker 166 look around like what is it what is he doing like what what made him want to sing that he's just like he's a tiger that's just pacing.

Speaker 6 That's how he growls to let everybody know.

Speaker 30 One heartbeat.

Speaker 135 I'm here.

Speaker 77 It's everyone on the same page.

Speaker 58 Everyone's listening to Coach O.

Speaker 85 Hold that tiger for one moment in the day.

Speaker 6 What day of the week do you like the most? Tell the Truth Monday, Competition Tuesday, Turnover Wednesday, or No Repeat Thursday?

Speaker 126 I like No Repeat Thursday.

Speaker 30 Why? Because you just don't.

Speaker 6 What's No Repeat Thursday?

Speaker 126 So it's like the walkthrough before the game.

Speaker 126 Get all the looks right. We have a little red zone walkthrough that that's my favorite period of the week.

Speaker 126 I think we're the number one red zone team in the country, and that's now that period.

Speaker 125 That's not a brag, that's a fact.

Speaker 126 Yeah, and I just love that period.

Speaker 126 That's my period of the week.

Speaker 6 It's crazy how good your offense is right now. I was looking at some of your stats, and people were trying to find what's his weak point.

Speaker 6 And I think you have your number one in completion percentage of passes shorter than five yards from five to ten yards and ten yards plus.

Speaker 6 It seems like you've got everything going right now. I have to assume that you've heard from some old LSU wide receivers that have hit you up and been like, hey, man,

Speaker 6 why weren't you born like 10 years earlier?

Speaker 166 Yeah.

Speaker 126 They usually say it to me when they're in person. They don't usually text it to me.
But

Speaker 126 the old guys that come to the sideline, they're like, hey, man,

Speaker 126 I wish we were in this offense. I would have had 3,000 yards receiving.

Speaker 6 And that's a great thing because Odell Beckham can literally say whatever number that he wants. He'd be like,

Speaker 6 if I played one season with Joe Burrow in this offense, I'd put up 10,1100.

Speaker 89 yeah 10,100 yards receiving easy no problem nobody else taking out three kicking nets yes yes yeah you can fact check them on that yeah um all right my last question seeky question promo code take you get ten dollars off promo code take go see lsu play oklahoma in atlanta promo code take uh okay so the college playoffs are coming up then you obviously have the combine and the draft i wish we had our bench press set up because we'd have you just do that part right now do you want us to create a draft Joe Burrow website like we did for Josh Allen?

Speaker 139 And if we do, how much of your signing bonus do we get?

Speaker 9 Hmm.

Speaker 39 Good question.

Speaker 126 I think it would, I think, I think it has to retire with the draft Josh Allen because there's been two of them.

Speaker 143 Okay, so you'll just give us part of your signing bonus just for being guys.

Speaker 74 Yeah, you got it.

Speaker 126 Okay, perfect.

Speaker 6 As your marketing assistants. Yes.

Speaker 72 I like that.

Speaker 106 For general Joe Burrow fans, we will get a portion of the proceeds.

Speaker 126 Like 0.01%.

Speaker 75 Oh, God.

Speaker 9 You just made a mistake.

Speaker 75 You just fucked up.

Speaker 75 Joe has not looked at how much money he's going to be making.

Speaker 6 Are you going to bench at the combine?

Speaker 126 I don't think quarterbacks do that. Brady Quinn.

Speaker 74 Brady Quinn ruined.

Speaker 9 We ruined him. How many did he do?

Speaker 126 I think he did like 24 or something.

Speaker 103 He told us the story, and it's just basically he was just a meathead.

Speaker 6 Somebody was like, You won't bench?

Speaker 30 He was like, Yeah, yeah, I will.

Speaker 75 You went bet? I don't bench.

Speaker 31 Fuck.

Speaker 6 All right, cool. It's good to have you here.
Congratulations on everything.

Speaker 6 What are you going to run in 40?

Speaker 126 I'm hoping to hit 4-6.

Speaker 31 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 126 Whoa.

Speaker 126 That would be blazing for me. That would be fast.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 97 And we're going to be, you know, we won't get ahead of ourselves.

Speaker 2 We don't want to do bulletin.

Speaker 36 Yeah. We don't want to do bulletin board material, but we will be at the national championship.

Speaker 88 It's going to take place no matter what happens in the semi-finals.

Speaker 126 That's going to be crazy in New Orleans.

Speaker 166 It will.

Speaker 75 Especially, I mean, a lot of Oklahoma fans in New Orleans.

Speaker 9 We don't want to give them bulletin board material, dude.

Speaker 30 Yeah. Don't give them bulletin board material.

Speaker 6 Remember, your arms are not big enough.

Speaker 74 You're right. You're right.
And you're not thick enough. Three C's, not five.

Speaker 147 But if you, LSU, happens to win, we will be there, and we'll probably be, I don't know, do you think we'll be in your family's suite?

Speaker 114 Do you think where you think?

Speaker 126 Who do you think I am? We don't have a suite.

Speaker 74 Well, I'm sure you're a family.

Speaker 126 And you're a student athlete.

Speaker 13 Okay. Well, that's right.

Speaker 6 That's true. That was a good save the other week when you were talking about how you didn't see anybody on campus.

Speaker 118 Because I don't go to class.

Speaker 43 Yeah, because I don't go to class because they're all online.

Speaker 126 Yeah, so I started talking about that. And I said, you know, obviously I don't go to class because it was all local media, and they all knew I had online classes.

Speaker 126 And I was like, you know, this might blow up

Speaker 126 if it gets picked up. So I'm just going to say, because I have online classes.

Speaker 74 Yes.

Speaker 6 You didn't go to LSU to play school. Yeah.

Speaker 137 Do you have your new phone now?

Speaker 74 I do, yeah.

Speaker 166 Okay, good. Yeah.

Speaker 169 All right. I didn't.

Speaker 126 I couldn't receive phone calls for about a week and a half.

Speaker 74 That's actually awesome.

Speaker 169 Yeah, it was awesome.

Speaker 93 And you just say that you still can't.

Speaker 126 And my mom was like, do you want to get you a new one? I was like, you know,

Speaker 126 I like not talking on the phone to people. So so I'm good for a couple of weeks.

Speaker 35 Yes, yes, all right.

Speaker 2 Well, Joe, thank you.

Speaker 1 This is your last interview.

Speaker 71 Is this your last interview this weekend?

Speaker 126 The last one, yeah.

Speaker 6 Thank God, congratulations, you made it, you survived it, you did it.

Speaker 139 Uh, and congrats on the Heisman, this has been awesome.

Speaker 30 And go tigers, go tigers, go tigers,

Speaker 78 Hold that target.

Speaker 78 Hold that target

Speaker 78 down in the bayou

Speaker 75 hold that target

Speaker 75 down in the bayou

Speaker 79 hold that target

Speaker 79 tago

Speaker 79 Hold that

Speaker 79 Hold that target

Speaker 79 Hold that toggle.

Speaker 75 Hold that toggle.

Speaker 6 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.

Heisman Trophy Winner Joe Burrow, Week 15 Fastest 2 Minutes And Recap

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