Adam Sandler and Kevin Garnett + Week 15 Picks and Preview

Hey, pardon my take, listeners.

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On today's part in my take,

Adam Sandler and Kevin Garnett.

Yes,

two of our biggest guests we've ever had.

A awesome interview.

We are smiling ear to ear when we did it.

We've been smiling ear to ear, holding it, not telling anyone.

It's very hard to do.

It's been a few weeks, but awesome interview with them.

Uncut gems out December 25th, Christmas Day.

Also out this weekend if you're in L.A.

and New York.

We also have week 15, pics, preview, Fire Fest, Fantasy Fuck Boys, Lamar, everything.

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Okay,

let's go.

then a lot of soft work to be done.

No place behind a low-washing,

and then I can't name all of the sounds.

Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue,

and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elene Shake Avenue.

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It is Friday, December 13th.

Yikes, we just realized realized that.

Spooky.

You know what's really scary?

Friday the 13th.

Is Lamar Jackson to NFL Defenses.

Nice segue PFT.

Thanks PFT.

To another segue to the movie.

You know what else is coming out on Friday the 13th in New York and Los Angeles?

The prequel to Boner Dogs, Uncut Gems.

You know what's also scary being the guy at the water cooler who didn't see Uncut Gems on December 25th when it's out nationwide.

We have Adam Sandler and Kevin Garnett coming up.

It was an awesome interview.

We talk about boner dogs.

You have to listen to it.

You also have to go see Uncut Gems because here's the deal.

If Uncut Gems breaks box office records, they're going to look at it and be like, shit, pardon my take must had something to do with that.

He got the PMT bump, baby.

We have to now have Adam Sandler as a third host of the show.

And that will be what happens if you go see Uncut Gems.

Can I just say that I feel like Adam Sandler is our best friend?

From the second he walked into the room, I get it.

I get it.

I get why.

I forgot to brag.

So the character that that he plays in most of his movies is like the nice guy that's funny that everyone loves.

That's him in real life.

He came into the room and I was like, you are my best friend, Adam.

We meet a lot of, you know, people who don't really have to give us the time of the day, right?

Like, they're rich, they're famous, whatever.

And most of them are very nice, but it's business.

Adam Sandler

walked out.

And like, I felt like we were best friends.

He gave us the side hug on the way out.

He was asking us about, like, you know, oh, yeah, what do you guys do?

You know, this is cool.

and like, genuinely interested in us.

So, he is forever, I'm forever, I already was an Adam Sandler fan.

I'm forever now a guy who says, Ready for this, PFT?

Great comedian, even better person.

He's the Ron Rivera of acting.

Yeah, and I just realized.

And Kevin Garnett was cool, too.

He's also an actor, so he might be just really good at pretending that he cares best.

But yeah, Kevin Garnett was awesome as well.

Awesome.

So make sure you listen to that, which you will.

But let's talk a little Thursday night football.

The last Thursday night football of the year.

Sad to see it go,

but we went out in the marvelous fashion.

It was remarkable.

It was remarkable.

The Ravens kicked the shit out of the Jets.

Although at one point, Hank did bet the Jets and said that the Jets should be winning this game.

This was late in the third quarter, by the way.

His own statistical analysis of the game, even though the Ravens were winning in every single measure of the game.

If they didn't throw the interception and got a touchdown when they got stopped on fourth down, it's a completely different game.

Completely different.

Completely different.

And the Jets would stop.

The Ravens would have gotten nervous.

They missed a field goal.

The Ravens would have been playing from behind and been very nervous.

Lamar doesn't have the clutch scene.

It would have been a disaster.

Okay, won the coin toss.

That's how quickly these things change.

So Lamar Jackson passes Michael Vick in rushing for season for a quarterback.

He is the MVP.

It would take basically Russell Wilson, like, Russell Wilson's probably got to throw seven touchdowns every single game for the last three games to surpass Lamar Jackson at this point.

There's not enough concussion water in the world to bring Russell Wilson ahead of Lamar Jackson.

Do you know what also is the biggest guarantee of all time?

I don't think we've ever had this happen where there has never been a bigger guarantee in the entire world of sports than Lamar Jackson cover of Madden.

Yes.

I'm so excited for it, too.

But does that bring the curse upon you?

I don't care.

I can't wait to play with 99 Lamar Jackson.

It's like playing with Vic back in the day.

You should have to unlock Lamar Jackson.

That's how good he's going to be in Madden next year.

You should have to play with the RG3.

People save, by the way.

He did get to save.

People who saved the cover, not really his doing, but people who remember playing Madden, playing video games with Michael Vick.

It was borderline illegal.

It was, it's like Bo Jackson, Michael Vick, and now Lamar Jackson are going to be the three guys where if you play with that, everyone looks at you and like, you're such an asshole.

It's like playing with odd job and

you can't do that.

Or like playing with the white guy that substituted for Barry Bonds in the old baseball period.

Was it Jeff Dowd?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

That was the best.

That was the best.

But yeah, you can't do that.

So he's that good.

He's that lamarkable, Lamarvelous, all the superlatives.

I don't really know what else to say.

The Ravens are a fucking force.

They're not a fraud.

No.

I've got a spicy take about Lamar.

You ready for this?

Let's get this debate going.

Okay.

Should Lamar Jackson sit out the next three years of his career so that he can get that big contract?

So we're going to NBAify the NFL.

Well, no, we're going to NCAA.

We're going to bull gameify.

Three seasons of the NFL.

It's Anthony Davis being like, I want to be traded now.

Yeah.

Even though I still have playing under contract.

Because I do think that John Harbaugh is, he will not push back on any.

Like Lamar Jackson was every fourth down.

He's like, we're staying on the field.

We're going to go for it.

And John Harbaugh is like, yeah, you know what?

You're that good.

You have our hands ties.

Lamar Jackson can do whatever he wants, and it'll be awesome.

The most impressive stat that the Ravens have this year is that they have punted more than three times only once this entire year.

Now, I don't know if they punted four times.

No, they didn't punt four times tonight, did they?

No way.

No chance.

So it stands.

They are not only that good offensively, but that aggressive offensively, that they just have eliminated the punting position.

And that actually probably speaks to why they had an off night on special teams, which is usually great for the Ravens because they're not used to punting.

People forget John Harbaugh, special teams coach.

It's true.

It's true.

And also, I want to give a shout out to our guy, Joe Buck, calling Lamar thick.

Yep.

I don't think anyone's ever.

People have used a lot of words to describe Lamar Jackson.

I don't think they've ever used thick, but Joe was just getting a little horny up there.

No, he was.

Well, Thursday night.

They were looking nice.

They actually put the suits back on.

They listened to America.

Someone got yelled at by their bosses.

And I'm talking about Troy Aikman and Joe Buck for wearing that hoodie.

And,

you know, I'm sure they got a bunch of FCC complaints last week that they didn't look dressed up enough to call a game of football a Thursday night game of football.

It was wardrobe obscenity.

It was gross.

So yeah, goodbye to Thursday night football.

I'm sad to see it go.

But as the Lord taketh away, the Lord giveth because next week we have Saturday football.

Saturday and holy shit, do we have good three games?

It's going to be awesome.

Yeah, but it is always sad to have that last Thursday night just because, I don't know,

your clock gets used to this rhythm of, okay, as soon as Thursday comes along, we got football.

Right, you don't have to be sober from Thursday until Tuesday morning.

Right.

And now, unfortunately, we have to give up one of those days.

Right.

So,

all right.

Should we do the Jets stink, by the way?

The Jets stink.

Greeny's going to be so upset when he wakes up in the morning and he sees the photos.

It was fun that they did a little, you know, hey, we're going to run the table.

But yeah, they stink.

Can I just say that I'd like to apologize to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman for something else?

Yeah.

I like it now when I hear Joe Buck say toe drag swag.

It's like at the Oscars when they have the president of the Motion Picture Association announcing 3-6 mafia.

It's interesting to hear Joe Buck try to say, like, try to sound cool.

Right, right.

Try to sound cool.

Quick recap of all the Thursday night games.

Ready?

I'm going to give you one sentence about each one.

Week one, whatever.

That didn't even happen.

The Bears scored three points.

Week two.

Did you win?

Nope.

Okay.

Week two, that was the game, Carolina, Tampa Bay, where Cam Newton was really injured and he stunk.

Sky Cam game.

Sky Cam game.

Week three, Minshew Mania, Jacksonville beat the titans 20 to 7 if the titans make the playoffs hammer game great for the show yeah if the titans make the playoffs and it's like hey remember when you lost 20 to 7 to the jaguars that's a weird that's a weird result uh the eagles beat the packers in lambda that was the first time you're like that defense is fraudulent uh week five that was rams seahawks when we're remembering these off the top of our head i'm just looking that was a good color rush game wasn't it good color rush game and a missed kick to end the game i think i lost every single bet this uh the giants played the the Patriots.

Pat Shermer decided to punt in the fourth quarter.

Yep.

Down 21 just so he wouldn't lose by more.

Also, that was Rob Gronkowski's debut on Fox where he said Julian Edelman is going to get that nut.

Yep.

Yep.

Patrick Mahomes, week seven.

He busted out his kneecap 30-6.

That was bad.

That was a Matt Moore game, too.

That was a Matt Moore game.

Vikings versus Redskins, week eight.

I lost a lot of money on that game.

19-9.

That was a fun game.

Electric.

Adrian Peterson going back to Minnesota.

Week nine, 49ers, Arizona.

That was a close game.

Remember, that was a surprisingly close game.

28-25.

We're like, oh, wow.

Arizona might be okay.

Arizona should have won that game.

Yeah, that's the game that Kyle Shanahan's logo on his hat shrunk to minuscule proportions.

Yep.

Week 10, Chargers versus Raiders.

Phil Rivers was down late and they lost.

Week 11 was Pittsburgh, Cleveland.

Nothing really happened in that game.

No, that was fine.

That's out!

Week 12.

Well, all the mics were off.

We don't know what happened.

That was by.

I was thinking about what was the game of the year Thursday night.

It was without a doubt that one.

I mean, just the takes that were spawned from that game.

It was legendary.

Week 12 was Houston, Indianapolis.

I don't even remember that game.

Houston, Indy.

Jacoby Prissette scored the first touchdown of that game.

Yes.

And it was kind of gross.

Then we had.

My brain erased that.

We had Thanksgiving Day.

I blacked myself.

We had Thanksgiving Day.

We had.

What is that?

I'm here to sell you.

What is that?

I'm here to sell you.

It's Ravel.

It's Ravel for what?

He was getting hit with tennis balls, and he was just, I don't know.

I think that's just what Ravel is in his sleep.

He says it is.

He just likes to get hit with tennis balls.

And then last week was the Bears being back.

And then this week we conclude it with Lamarvel.

Lamarveless.

Lamarvelous

strange trip it's been this year on Thursday.

Looking Looking back, my best memories are Minshu Many.

Minsanity.

Well, this is...

And that in

the Swagger Jr.

game against Pittsburgh.

It's sad, like, being able to go through each Thursday night football game, just seeing the score and being like, oh, I remember everything that happened in that game.

A lot of brain space used up on meaningless football.

Well, the only one I honestly don't remember is that Texans Colts game.

For better.

As far as I'm concerned, it never happened.

Yeah, they definitely ended it with

men in black.

Whoa, shit.

Lamar's got an awesome chain.

What's on that?

It's got a wolf.

I think it's a wolf.

That is fucking cool.

That's real.

I want to get one of those.

Damn it.

I can't.

Who am I kidding?

The Ravens are.

That's a good segue for Uncut Gems.

That's what's cool.

Yeah, Uncut Gem.

Yes.

Coming.

What day is it coming out?

December 25th.

Christmas dice, sir.

Christmas Boxing Day.

Okay, let's get to our weekend preview.

Bet MGM is sponsoring our weekend preview.

We're also doing a Witching Hour Watch live stream on Sunday, sponsored by BetMGM.

Watch the meltdown that could possibly happen.

Bears, Packers.

And BetMGM is PMT's home for sports betting this year.

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In addition to special new user offers just for AWLs every week, BetMGM prices and boosts special bets for us every single week.

They've got my can't lose parlay, which I'll tell you in a second.

It's boosted to plus $3.15 this week.

That's three to one odds.

Yeah.

PFT's primetime field goal special priced at minus $2.50 in the lobby under bar stool specials.

And last week we gave you the Jameis 1 and 1 of over 1.5 touchdowns and 1.5 interceptions.

Paid plus 500, and it hit in the first half.

You should have gotten on that.

That's incredible.

Jameis Winston Hat-Trick.

This week we also have Hank Lockwood lock of the week to the Rams.

They boosted it minus 110 to plus 110.

And this week we've got our witching hour, like I said, during the season where we're doing the witching hours.

So we got this one on Sunday.

Go ahead, Hank.

You got a pick.

Put this in the Bed MGM app right now.

Leonardo DiCaprio has been fucked by

these.

Children.

A whale.

Nope.

Quentin Tarantino.

A pair of Quentin Tarantino shoes.

A mind eraser.

Inception.

A bear.

Oh, a bear.

A bear.

A bear.

Got it.

Well, he didn't get.

No, he got.

He might have.

We don't know if the bear came or not.

I actually was thinking of like...

I didn't actually see the movie.

Yeah, no, you didn't.

We know.

Is that not?

I thought that's what I was like, Maul.

It was so weird until

Leon the Bear got into it.

No, he got Maul.

It might have slipped in at some point.

No, it was just basically

the bear beat him up.

The bear tried to kill him.

All right.

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All right.

Week 15.

Should I start with my Can't Lose Parlay?

Would you like to hear my Can't Lose Parlay?

Is he going to lose?

My Can't Lose Parlay.

It is 1-0 in the last one.

I think it's 2-3 in the last 3.

I am...

I'm going to be full disclosure here to everyone.

I am using the powers of my can't lose parlay and how bad it has been throughout the year to try to get the Bears into the playoffs.

So I have the 49ers, can't lose against the Falcons, the Dan Quinn special, Cal Shanahan revenge game.

I got the Rams at the Cowboys, and I got the Vikings at the Chargers, cannot lose.

And if it does, whoopsie.

Wait, so you got the Vikings over the Chargers?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, so you're double-psyching it.

I'm using

powers.

I like it for good.

Yeah, so either way, you're going to be happy.

Right.

That's brilliant.

Right.

So our cousins can't play on the left coast, though.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Remember, we talked about that, I think, on Wednesday or on Monday.

He is something like 0-8 in California.

But the Chargers can't win at home.

I think they're winning 35% of their games in the last five years.

I saw that stat.

35% of their games at home.

Well, they don't really have a home.

Exactly.

They're better on the road.

They still play in the soccer city.

Correct.

And there will be Vikings fans.

There will be a bunch of people who can't handle their sunburns, you know, that are just toasted out there with

purple.

Against the California sun is going to be a one-sided battle for sure.

It's going to be great.

So

let's start here.

Week 15.

We actually have multiple Loser Leaves Town games.

Now, some of these are not all the way Loser Leaves Towns, but this is going to be a shake-up Sunday where we're going to have a very clear picture of how the playoffs are going to look after this Sunday.

So we'll start with...

Texans Titans, which has become the battle for the AFC South.

They play two times in the last three weeks.

Ryan Tannehill, Tannehill, if the season lasted a little longer, he would be a legitimate MVP guy.

Like,

he's insane.

Yeah, he's peaking right now.

So we're in the process of watching Ryan Tannehill as good as he's probably ever, as good as his body is capable of playing football.

That's how he's playing.

It's the best it will ever get.

It's probably not going to get any better than this.

It's the Vray Bowl Bowl.

The Vray Bowl.

They've got two out of three of their last games.

It's going to be this matchup right now.

31 points per game

for the Titans since Ryan Tannehill took over as the quarterback.

Here's why that's not going to last.

I'm ready to tell you.

It's going to last this week.

Texans defense.

Here's why it's not going to last forever, though.

Ready?

Those colors just don't score points.

The gray and blue

and the sword on the helmet, those colors, that's a 21 to 13

type of color.

It's going to last just long enough until they sign on the dotted line for Ryan Tannehill's five-year $150 million contract.

Do you get a double neck step?

So after the after the 12-year bump?

I don't know.

He's out of control right now.

And unfortunately for the Titans,

I think if you're sitting in the Titans' front office, you're like, this is not going to last, but you can't not re-sign them.

So

we're kind of screwed.

Like Ryan Tannehill, it happened at the worst possibility.

The great time if they get in the playoffs, worst time if you have to make a decision at your quarterback position.

So how awkward do you think it is with Mariota and Tannehill at this point?

Very awkward.

It's unbelievably awkward.

The argument was like, oh, Mariota doesn't have the weapons or something.

And then Tannehill, 31 points a game.

It's the best offense in the NFL since he has taken over.

It's crazy what they've been doing.

Like, wait, what was wrong with you, man?

Yeah, so there was like some incredible, like a really detailed stat that came out about why these new types of routes that Tannehill is throwing to are working so well for him.

I couldn't even wrap my brain around it.

It was like routes that have mesh points between the 9 and 15 yard range are doing X, Y, and Z.

And here's his rating.

He's like number one in the league at that point.

And I was just looking at that and saying, there's no chance that Mike Vrabel is intentionally doing this.

He's just like, like Ryan Tannehill has just caught lightning in a bottle.

And if he were on the Houston Texans right now, if Tannehill was a Texans quarterback, I can guarantee you this would not be happening to his career.

For some reason, it is like the perfect, it's the perfect storm that's happened to him.

It's crazy.

And yeah, he's going to to get paid a shitload of money, but

I would slap the tag on him.

Slap that tag.

Slap of the tag.

Brian Tannehill, franchise quarterback.

All right, the next loser leaves town game, the Rams and Cowboys.

I finally realized what the Cowboys are.

The Cowboys are the new Falcons.

They are a team with a ton of talent that we say, well, they haven't played their best game.

It's coming.

You can name all these guys on the team.

Oh, they have Dak.

They have Zeke.

They have Amari Cooper.

You know, Randall Cobb had a resurgence.

They're just not good.

Yeah, and Leighton Vander Esch looks like he caught Sean Lee.

Yes, yes.

So, like, they've merged into one.

But we do this.

You trick yourself because they're recognizable names and they have moments where they look so good that you say, okay, yeah, the Cowboys are legit.

Then you actually look at their body of work.

You're like, no, this team is not good.

They are average to below average throughout the season.

I still haven't wrapped my brain around the fact that Sean Lee is named Sean Lee, not Andy Lee.

I want to call him him Andy Lee every single time that I bring him up, but he's also out.

So, like, they're linebackers.

Yeah,

they've got Jalen Smith, who's awesome, and then they've got a bunch of fill-in-guys.

I can't even...

Like, when I watch Randall Cobb out there, he still doesn't look like a cowboy to me.

They forget about him.

For some reason, Randall Cobb, that's like exactly what happened to him when he was up in Green Bay, too.

He would have like nine catches one game for like two games in a row.

And then the third game, he would have zero for zero yards.

And he is a good receiver.

I mean, he's older now, but his thing in Green Bay, remember the year that Jordy Nelson got hurt, and it was like, Randall Cobb's going to step up.

It's like, no, not really.

He is the perfect guy who, if he's

single-covered, he'll get open.

If he's the primary guy, you're fucked.

Yeah.

All right.

Next loser leaves town.

Bills, Steelers.

Sunday night football.

Duck versus Josh Allen.

I'm excited for this game.

I'm excited to see the Bills in Sunday night football.

It's so exciting.

Feels like every single game the Bills have played has been the biggest game of their their life.

I'm ready for it.

I think I like the Steelers in this one.

Duh.

I like the Steelers.

Because their defense is awesome.

Also, Duck pointed out very helpfully on Twitter that Ducks prefer the cold weather.

Yeah.

Just in general.

So I'm going to go with Duck Facts anytime he can educate me on what Mallard's actually like.

What were you going to say, Hank?

I've been banging the Steeler drum for a long time.

They might have the best defense in the NFL.

I think the Bills have a very good defense.

Yeah, the more experienced quarterback.

I think the defense, it's kind of a push.

Okay.

Josh Allen, more experience.

Love Duck.

Yeah.

Home.

Also, it's a rematch of two coaches that played with each other in college.

Oh, nice.

We'll get some pictures.

Oh, we're going to get a shitload of old pictures.

I love it.

Love the old pictures.

Chris Collinsworth is going to laugh for like 15 seconds non-stop just looking at an old picture.

Look at that hair.

Oh, Mike, man, you looked skinny back then.

Hilarious.

And then they'll show an old picture of Chris Collinsworth.

What were you going to say?

Hank, anything else on this game?

No, I mean, I'm rooting for good quarterback play, but I i would say probably over under four interceptions i just no i think that sunday night football late in the season in pittsburgh that just feels so nfl they give you they show the three rivers they show the you know uh steam coming out of out of the iron factories it just feels so football late december and here's a fact when you hear the song ringing renegade by sticks in the dark it slaps 10 times harder than it does and they might go double renegade i love it and they they save that for but once or twice a year So now's the time to break out all the stops, pull the alarm if you're in Pittsburgh.

I can't wait to watch that.

It's going to be a good one.

Yeah, this would be a great game.

And then the last one: loser leaves town, Bears-Packers.

Now, the Packers don't leave town if they lose, but the Bears season obviously would be fully over.

Do you guys feel like the Bears have any chance, or am I just drinking the Kool-Aid?

As a Packers owner, I got to say I'm a little concerned about this game.

I'm concerned.

You should be.

You want to know why?

Because Akeem Hicks is back.

Because it's cold.

Bear runs.

This is big boy football.

Yeah, Bear Wins.

This time of year for big boy football.

And I don't know if the Packers are ready to play big boy football just yet.

They don't play skinny boy football either.

I mean, their offense is just so up and down.

Perfect BMI football.

Yeah.

Akeem Hicks being back, I think, is going to be.

We'll see.

By the way,

I want to put one in the earhole of whoever designed BMI, whoever came up with that.

I figured you out.

It's just a division of your weight to your height.

Correct.

It doesn't really mean anything.

No, nothing.

It's just everyone's obese.

I'm very obese.

Everyone is obese.

All right.

Should we do some picks?

Hank, how are you feeling about

the Patriots knowing that they have all the signs already?

I feel great.

This is

a come out and show them that we don't need their signs, win by 30.

I've also said that the last five weeks, and it has not worked out once.

But what is the amount the Patriots' offense has to score for you to start feeling better?

Because this is one of those games that no one is sitting here saying the Patriots are going to lose to the Bengals, but you have to show out to ease everything, you know, 30 plus.

30 plus.

Who's going to score that many points?

Tom Brown.

Julian Ellman will throw one pass.

Sunu will throw one pass.

Julian Edelman.

McDaniel said he's got to get Harry more looks in the open after that touchdown that got called back.

Okay.

He's going to get more looks.

Okay.

A kick block.

Yeah.

Oh, at least two of those.

Yeah.

Interception return by Andy Dalton.

Yeah, throwing a pick six.

You got this.

Okay, yeah, that's about 30 points.

You got this.

All right, let's do some picks.

Hank, why don't you go with your favorite and your underdog and tell us why?

My favorite is the Rams.

Oh, that's the Lockwood Lock of the Week.

That is the Lockwood Lock of the Week.

Jared has found it.

They have bounced back.

They're going to be making that push.

Although...

Are you concerned about other defenses reading where Blake Bortles is on the sideline and knowing where the ball might be going?

No, but that clip got picked up by a few news outlets.

And in the comments on one of them, I think they posted it on Instagram.

And someone was like, so Blake just gave up like

He was not on offensive play.

Now you have to use a guy.

You have to have a spotter watch Blake Bortles all day.

Yeah, that's right.

You got to spy Blake.

You got to put a QB spy up.

So, Jared, you're listening to this right now.

Use Blake.

Use him as a decoy.

Copyright duck.

What do you think the chances are in this game, like, you know,

when you had your first crush in middle school and you would basically

kind of linger outside the classroom and hope you'd

bump in?

Bump into your crush.

How much do do you think Jerry Jones is going to do that with Sean McVay being like, oh, whoops.

I didn't know we were in the same hallway.

That's so weird that you're coming out here right now.

That's definitely going to happen.

Got your nice Dr.

Proud.

How's your child?

Yeah, how's your contract going?

You like it?

You happy?

You good?

You look like a Texas man.

You look like you enjoy the hot weather.

Just accidentally bump into him.

What are those?

Penny loafers?

All right, your underdog?

The Dolphins.

I feel like those games have been, all those games have been closed.

The giants stink.

This is three and a half.

It was three and one thing, but the fact that it's three and a half, I feel like it's going to be a field goal game.

Hank, this is one of those ones.

We talk about it.

You can bet this game, and then even if you lose, you can just say the Giants shouldn't be favored by three and a half against anyone and feel good about it.

Also, the Dolphins are executing the plot line to major league perfectly.

Like, they were designed to just absolutely shit the bet.

And Ryan Fitzpatrick is doing the Charles Shakespeare thing where he's like, we're going to do it.

No, they're out of the hunt.

How are they not going to be?

Yeah, your bet officially is over.

They can still go seven and nine.

No, they can't.

They have 10 losses.

No, they lie.

I don't count out Fitzmagic.

I don't know if Eli is playing or not.

I don't think that's the plan.

They got to try to get him to win.

They do, but I think that they've got to save that for the home game.

They've got to give him like a curse.

This is the chance.

Get this win and then win the home game, and now you're above 500.

I don't think you're going to get him back above 500.

Yeah, you are.

Not with that attitude.

I think that Eli is destined to finish his career at exactly 500.

It's also a draft pick game.

Yeah, you let Daniel Jones start this one, get banged up a little bit, and then you're like, oh, he's hurt again.

Eli's going to play at home one last time.

I love these games because whoever wins this game, then we're going to look back and they'll be picking probably next to each other in the draft, and we can laugh about how, oh, if you just hadn't

won that stupid game in December, you would have had X, Y, or Z player.

Yeah, because if you're actually at the draft and you were to tell the two teams right now, you can swap positions for one more loss in your schedule last year against the team, you would absolutely take that 10 times out of 10.

Absolutely.

All right.

PFT, give us your favorite and your underdog and Y.

Okay, my favorite is Tampa Bay.

Minus three and a half over Detroit.

This is null and void if Sloater plays, by the way.

Okay.

I want to put that out there.

That wasn't our fault last week, by the way.

Sloater didn't.

It was Sloater's Revenge, but he didn't play.

He didn't play.

So this is only contingent on Blauer playing.

Jameis Winston was throwing tennis balls this week at practice.

I don't know if you saw the report.

So he's back.

He's healthy.

His thumb is fucked.

No, his thumb's fine.

He was throwing tennis balls.

Got it.

Yeah, so all good there.

I can't believe my favorite is still on the board, but go ahead.

Well, Jameis mastered the art of throwing footballs, now he's moved on to different sports.

Also, you know what's back really, really heavily this week is Jameis Winston Photoshops and graphics just trying to get the retweets of like, oh, when Jameis was, Jameis right now is 26 years older, however, when Peyton Manning was 26, this is how many interceptions he threw.

I forgot about this with Jameis because he is getting a little bit of shine this season because he's throwing so many interceptions and also so many touchdowns.

I forgot about how uncomfortably big of a God guy he is.

Did you remember that?

Well, we need to do a Photoshop where we compare him at the age of 26 to Jesus.

He did a press conference afterwards, and he answered every single question that it was God who did it.

Like they even asked, like, hey, Jameis, how did you beat the nickel defense?

So he's like, well, it really just goes back to my almighty savior, like, Jesus Christ.

Like, Jameis, you can do it the first time, but don't keep answering that.

God made me throw it.

I forgot that he was that big of a God guy.

So,

yeah, Jameis, maybe actually, you know what?

Who knows?

Just let it cook.

The fact that you're slinging out there, maybe it is God that's doing this.

Your favorite?

Or no, your underdog.

My underdog is going to be, I'm going to take the Broncos.

I'm taking Denver.

I'm taking Drew Locke.

I like Drew Locke a lot.

And they're playing the Chiefs.

Small hands.

The funny thing, yeah, well, Jameis, too.

Yeah.

So with Drew Locke, this is your small hands parlay of the week.

Small hands parlay of the week,

my tiny little mitts.

With this game, it's actually a revenge game for Drew Locke.

You want to know why?

Why?

Because

his ex-girlfriend is the daughter of the owners of the Kansas City Chiefs.

So even though Denver is technically eliminated from playoff contention, this is very much an in-the-hunt game for Drew Locke.

Yes, that's a big time in-the-hunt game.

Really in the hunt.

All right, I can't believe my favorite is still on the board.

The last home home game ever in the black hole

versus a team that has completely quit going across the country in Jacksonville.

Give me everything for the Raiders.

That's the last game ever.

That's going to be an awesome crowd.

We need to put that on all the TVs in the afternoon.

Just the Raiders.

Just the Raiders.

Just soak it in.

It is nice.

All right.

And then my underdog, I'm going to go.

I'm going to dip into the well here.

I'm going to take the 49ers plus 11 against the

Falcons plus 11 against the 49ers.

oh yeah so it's a it's a dan quinn revenge game against kyle shanahan for ruining a super bowl 49ers a little banged up they were out on the east coast for two weeks they just won an emotional game against the saints maybe a small letdown i think they win this game but that's a lot of points is this a trap game trap game trap game big time trap game all right hank you're over and under what do you say is the baby is da baby trap sure okay okay just curious it's the baby game it's the baby game yeah to baby shanahan uh Hank, go ahead.

You're over unders.

Over Bears, under Bucks.

Ooh.

Okay.

Care to explain?

Bearweather.

Bearweather.

I'm just fading myself.

That's my explanation.

Okay.

Everyone's talking about Jameis and all the points he's putting up.

I think everyone keeps throwing out that stat that if he has a good week this week, he could lead the league in all offensive categories.

The triple crown.

Which makes me think he's going to throw out an absolute stinker.

Yep.

The Lions proven not a great.

They can't really.

Would you say Matt, Patricia, the team has quit on him?

You can make that argument, I would say.

Certainly.

Interesting.

But they did cover last week, so they didn't quit there.

Okay.

Last second, that was good.

So you could make the argument, but you're not going to.

No.

Some people could.

But you could.

Other people could, and you would not kick them out.

Correct.

Gotcha.

All right.

All right.

PFT.

My over is really easy.

Pittsburgh Buffalo, 35.5 points.

It is a very low total, and it's for our friends.

So it's like we're just rooting for Josh Allen and Duck.

That's going to be a tough one 35 and a half seven to three at halftime i'm gonna sweat that i'm gonna sweat it out but i'm i'm very confident in my guys yeah i can't root against either one of those guys unlike hank okay my under is going to be browns cardinals 45 and a half so uh kenyon drake i don't know if you've you've heard the stat but he is the cursed monkey's paw of this season he is un

undefeated he has not won a game this year oh because he's on the dolphins now he's on the cardinals exactly so he is the one that transferred the dolphins losing ways damn out west he's gonna go owen 16.

He might go 0-1.

That's what I'm rooting for.

That's crazy.

Yeah, and then also just anything.

It'd be awesome if he went 0-17 because he missed the buys.

Did he miss the buys?

No, I don't know, but that would be sick.

That would be incredible.

Yeah.

That would stats look it up.

Wouldn't that suck if you got traded to a team that already had their bye week and you haven't had yours?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That'd be awful.

Also, two Big 12 quarterbacks, so they can't score.

Yeah, Heisman.

Heisman.

That's right.

Okay,

I'm going to take the over and the Titans, Texans.

The Titans secondary's banged up.

The Texans' defense just flat out stinks.

That's going to be points, points, points.

And then Hank gave me this stat.

Wait, but you don't even know what they're going to wear when they show up to the game.

The linebackers might be dressed up as they don't care.

They're incredibly cool.

You're right, but I don't care.

Hank gave me this stat.

The Chiefs are 35, 16, and 1 to the under as home favorites under Andy Reid.

So I'm going to take the under Broncos Chiefs under 45.5.

Where'd you get that stat, Hank?

He got that stat.

Don't ask those type of questions, PF.

He just writes about football, and he got the stat.

Okay, I love it.

That's beautiful.

I I can't like stats.

Yeah, that's great.

That was a great stat.

Oh, it's because Cleep Blakeman is probably officiating.

All right, remember, Bet MGM is the home for PMT this football season.

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Okay, let's do Fancy Fuck Boys and we'll get to Adam Sandler and Kevin Garnett.

What's up, boys?

It's Christopher Cringoglio.

Yo, what's up, Sanny?

Christy.

My stardom this week is buttered noodles.

Oh, yeah, motherfucker.

I've been crushing a bag of butter noodles a night.

They're fucking delicious.

All you need is a little butter, a little salt, and you got yourself dinner.

All right, Gordon Ramsey over here.

My sidem

is express shipping.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

I actually think I wrote that for my stardom, but you don't want express shipping.

You want the regular shit.

Don't wait till the last minute.

Get the regular shipping.

Don't pay the extra money.

If it's not worth waiting for, it's not worth it.

Save your penny for when you need them.

Damn.

Express shipping.

You never know when you need it.

And my sleeper is carpets.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I season if you want to throw off, you know, your little something, you think she's going to get some jewelry.

Get her a nice carpet.

Really pay good day.

Who doesn't want a Christmas carpet?

Buy a carpet.

Buy a little rug strip.

Buy a little wax session.

Who knows?

I'm not saying it.

That was just what you do.

Yeah.

yo what's up this is big time tony i'm uh

old school old school i'm starting this week illegal videotaping people and then pretending like it's nothing to be concerned about despite the fact that you are no better because i got a cousin who got arrested for this is just the big government he was doing on the subway oh big government needs to keep their hands out of your pants and off your camcorder yep fuck the feds the feds hate alpha males yeah they do i'm sitting garrett cole's beard that's right shave that shit off your yankee now okay you're gonna earn your pinstripes?

You're going to buy them, big-time fancy man, with the fake banking count.

That's right, yeah.

$340 million, but that translates to infinity dollars per pitch that you threw in game seven, you piece of shit.

Oh, man.

Garrett Cole signs me up for life.

I'm sleeping carpets.

That's right.

Yeah.

Especially having a come spot on your rug, just like every guy does.

We all know what.

Now, that's what I call shed carpet and sellers.

Yeah.

Every guy has got to have a spot that you use to deposit your guy gravy load yard because tissues, it kills the environment.

Every time you come in a paper towel, you're choking a sea turtle.

Go green when you go white.

All right, my name is Tony Campanelli.

And my stardom.

He's a real person.

Yeah, and my stardom is Rigatoni.

I fucking love Rigatoni.

Is that the bow tie shit?

No, not the bowtie shit.

It's the shit with the

you put your finger in it.

Oh, yeah.

my cinnamon is lasagna i don't like that pasta i never did it's too wide it's crazy you only can make lasagna's i think lasagna's are overrated yeah you said it overrated as fuck my sleeper is penne penne is a great pasta too love a good penne you could put your finger in a penne too it's like a like an italian thing italian finger trap you know pinky finger trap you stick it in one side stick it in the other you pull them both out and slap by your mother i also like fettuccine ravioli and uh

spaghetti taking a lot of.

I'm a big fan of Taglitelli.

Spaghetti.

I like the Cachio Pepe spaghetti, but you know, the marinara with the gravy sometimes.

Buy it.

Butter noodles.

Oh, you like butter noodles?

I have been, I don't know, like I found the supermarket in my apartment.

I found butter noodles that my mom used to make when I was a kid, and I just bought like 10 bags.

I've just been

crushing it.

I mean, you're a streaky eater.

Crushing streakiest eater, I know.

I have been doing a half a bag of noodles a night.

And just butter.

Butter and salt.

You know what the recipe for sketchy is from Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo?

I looked it up the other day, actually.

So

I was talking to chaps about honey boo-boo and the recipe for sketchy because we're talking about spaghetti at the Newark airport.

Sketch it.

And sketchy is just exactly what you described, but add in three-quarters of a cup of ketchup to it.

And that's that's a little honey boo-boo.

That's Mama June's favorite.

Sketty, sketchy.

All right.

If you buy that, you should be arrested before you leave the store.

Let's get to our interview with KG and Adam Sandler.

Whoa, yeah.

Well, we we talked about it at the beginning of the show.

But, Hank,

we all saw Uncut Gems.

Great movie.

Make sure that you go see it.

I think it's out

in New York and L.A.

Hank's got this.

You got it, Hank.

Go.

Say it.

It comes out on Christmas.

If you're in New York and L.A., there's a limited release that goes on today.

But most likely, if you're listening to this, you're going to have to wait till Christmas.

But it's all worth the wait.

It's Adam Sandler.

It's gambling.

It's intrigue.

It's drama.

Princessa, KG, it is

a smoke, must-watch movie, like definitely one of those movies you gotta go and see in the theaters.

Gonna get a big, extra-large popcorn and just go to town.

Uh, okay, before we do that, though.

I used to think that sandwiches were just, you know, basic until I realized how easy it is to level them way up.

It's all about starting with the best ingredients.

Lately, I've been obsessed with this sandwich.

Boar's head ever roast chicken, a little smoked gouda, arugula, sliced avocado, and a drizzle of balsamic glaze on toasted ciabata.

Just a few simple swaps, and suddenly it feels like something that I'd order at a fancy cafe.

And that's why I always go for Boarshead.

The quality, the craftsmanship, the fresh premium flavors that turn an everyday sandwich into something next level.

So if you're tired of the same old lunch, try upgrading with Boarshead.

Head to the deli counter, grab your favorites, and see just how easy it is to make every bite amazing.

Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boarshead deli counter.

All right, we good to go?

All right, let's do it.

He has brothers, too, right?

He comes from Michael Brothers.

Yeah, they all ball.

Yeah, it would be a pain in the ass to go off on his face.

We started a fight.

Tough fight.

The Gronks.

The Gronks are mad at me.

I like doing cold openings for the podcast so people can guess who, although it would be in the title, but Adam Sandler and Kevin Garnett.

Yes.

Uncut Gems.

Yeah.

Coming out December 13th.

Yeah,

that's not wide, though, man.

You're friends with us.

You like us.

You're here.

Okay.

You're here because you want to hang with us.

It has nothing to do with the movie promo.

Are you guys sick of doing interviews?

Not yet.

Are you, Kevin?

No.

All right, we'll probably get you there.

You'll get us.

Oh, for sure.

Let me start with a question about the movie.

You are getting Oscar buzzed.

You're damn right, right?

Nice.

Congrats.

Congrats.

It's coming.

Are you going to bring KG?

Yes.

But then when everyone, when they show you sitting there waiting for your Oscar,

everyone's going to screen grab and be like, oh, there's KG.

No.

So you can't bring him.

No.

I'm going to sit with my wife.

My wife's already said it's all

she would love Kevin to have her seat.

And yeah, I know

KG's getting nominated if anybody's getting nominated.

You think so?

I mean, you play.

Stop.

You play a pretty big part in the movie.

It's not like, you know, oh, one cameo and then move on.

You are part of the movie.

So maybe you will get a movie.

We told him it was one cameo and then we kept saying, hey, can you come tomorrow, man?

He's like, oh, no.

Was he your first choice?

I didn't do this.

The Safdie brothers laid down the story earlier.

Great story, too, by the way, right?

Yes.

They were trying to do this for 10 years.

They wrote it for Amari, then Kobe they were talking to, and then Joel.

And then

we were shooting during

this season.

They showed

guys who might be, what were you, with Endeavour or something?

The same agency had this?

WME.

WME.

William Morris.

They mentioned Kevin, and then they're Knicks fans, so the Safdie brothers were very mad at even the mention of Kevin.

They were huge, they're huge Knicks fans.

But at some point, if you're a Knicks fan, you can't be mad at other people.

You can't be just a rivalry.

Every team in the league.

They don't want to hear that, though.

No Knicks fan wants to hear that.

On top of these guys, they're still talking about Amari at the Buzzer.

They're still talking about

it.

Linsanity.

Yeah, like a permanent Lin Sanity.

No, no, let's let that go, man.

Let's let that go.

You can't say anything bad about James Dolan because you want want to sit courtside still.

No, no, no, no.

Things have been said about it.

There's still people courtside.

I understand.

I would do the same thing if I were you.

I just tune out.

I just stay up.

Like, yeah, you guys are talking basketball.

Yeah, yeah.

I never heard that sport.

You're actually a fan.

You're actually, you have, you're in a rare position where you can do something about it, though.

You could buy the Knicks.

I'm not kidding.

I'm about 20 mils short.

Okay.

If I do two more movies,

Ronald Street gets me to

do it.

You bought the Knicks.

That's a great idea.

KG, I'll split it with you.

Come on, man.

Let's do it.

All right.

All right.

All right.

So, knowing that you are a big basketball fan, Adam and have you played together?

No.

Okay.

Have you seen him play?

On film.

I've seen him in the movies.

Actually, his shop.

How would you describe his game?

Because I want you to then describe his acting.

So I want y'all to understand that we talk basketball probably 80, twice,

80% of the time.

And

he and his partner are probably the best two-line

players

in the world.

Well, you can do that with two-on-two because two-on-two is more about knowing each other's game.

Yes.

Exactly.

They grew up together.

This is childhood best friend.

You do take down me and my.

We're both kind of fat old guys now, but we do take down

the youngsters.

The crafty game.

Yes.

Crafty.

And we ain't afraid to travel or use the backboy a lot.

Make them call the offensive foul.

You just run right into it.

Let's step on it all over.

Yeah.

You remember that version of, you remember on the one movie where the guy was like ice man he was shooting yeah along came polar that's that's what i actually thought he was gonna be like yeah and he's actually a lot more better than that okay do you have an outside shot what's your range uh i what i like to do pull up from half court yeah he's i can i i used to be able to hit pretty good not as good lately but what i like to do i draw draw two guys towards me yeah dish it off to my buddy he misses the layup and then i scream how could you miss that yes that's a big move

you call the foul for him you like

I heard that.

That's good shot, though.

That was a good shot.

He thinks it's odd because his elbow comes out.

Like Sean Marris.

There's no spin on the ball.

It's a very line drive.

You shoot a knuckle puck with a basketball.

That can be fish.

AI had no rotational hits shot.

Really?

Watch AI's ball in slow-mo.

It just.

Well, he didn't practice.

Because he covered.

Yeah, he.

You're talking about practice.

Right.

He pulls the google.

I mean, he pulls the ball all the time.

My dad used to yell at the TV and be like, that's a carry.

Pull it on him.

By the way, I carry so much.

That's okay.

whenever I play with guys who are legitimate schoolyard dudes nobody ever calls a carry on me whenever I'm on a hardwood with guys who like play I say hey that's a carry I'm like oh shit that's crazy shut up that's like the guy who asks if we if we want to run zone when you're playing pickup hey guys listen or you double team or you double team you see your

what did you think about that video

list i wasn't feeling that because that's a nightmare to that kid that kid's trying to get better everybody's coming to the gym to work on their individual games you you know, trying to get some timing.

And you can't even do that with someone throwing a double team.

I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't have came back.

So, wait, so you were on Devin Booker's side?

I'm on Devin Booker's side because everybody in the summer, everybody in the summer is coming in here to work out.

We know what we ain't here to do.

We're trying to get our win.

We're trying to get our timing.

You can't do that with you.

running two guys at me.

It feels like I'm in the league now.

No, no, that's not what summertime basketball is.

What if it was someone other than Joe Kim Noah?

Because you have famous beef with Joe Kim Noah.

I wouldn't have beef with anybody.

Beef league.

Can you tell us your first interaction with Joe Kim Noah?

I don't have interaction.

We don't have interaction.

We don't have interaction.

I'll handle this, Kevin.

He does not need to.

Let's go.

That's the end of the interview.

You tell

the first time Joe Kim Noah, and he's like, hey, Kevin.

Kill on him.

He's like, yes,

I want to hear from you.

You're like a pit bull grab.

He's like Kevin.

I had posters of you

when I was growing up.

Listen, it's a time and place for everything.

You don't ask someone during the game or during competition to.

No, no, not me.

You don't ask me anything during competition.

I'm not can't, you can't focus.

Right, yeah.

We're here competing.

I'm not willing to give you anything.

The end of the story was Joe Kim Noah's like, you were my idol growing up, and Kevin just turned to him and said, Fuck you, Noah.

He asked, real shit.

He asked me the move I just gave him.

Nigga, figure it out.

Get out of here.

What the fuck I look like?

What the fuck I look like?

Get that out of you.

Fuck out of here.

And you got a bulls jersey on?

No.

Cool.

So there's a lot of actual footage from the NBA in this movie.

Uncut chips.

This comes out in the summer.

I remember it happened.

So did you have a conversation with Adam Silver?

Or did the producers have a conversation with you?

But I got an invite to the All-Star game from Adam Silver.

Did you hear that?

You're coming with me, buddy.

Want to go?

Nice.

Let's do it.

Are you playing in the celebrity game?

No.

I can't get it.

That's too long of a book.

Straight up.

Listen, listen.

This is how you do it.

This is how you do it.

When you play, you know when you're going to get a rebound.

You know when you're going to shoot a three.

So play three-point line to three-point line.

You can't play at this point.

So you're never going to go to But it's a pro-three, I can't hit

too deep.

Listen, not even that.

It's a pump-fake two-dribble.

You're at the three-throw line now.

You play three-point line to three-point line, you can play the game.

That's not a bad idea, thank you.

As long as you don't airball it, I feel like that's easy to get.

You're gonna airball.

You can't get it.

You gotta airball.

You know why?

You gotta get it out of your system.

You don't want to hit three in a row, then airball that'd kill your whole momentum.

Do a little stretch after that.

I just wouldn't shoot.

If I was in that game, I would just be a point guard.

Just facilitate.

I'd like to facilitate.

Wait, come on.

Michael Rappaport's open.

Again, Michael Rappaport.

Yeah, exactly.

I know that Rappaport kid when he was about 17.

He was quieter.

Oh, yeah.

But I do.

He couldn't be any louder.

He did stand up back in the day.

Oh, really?

He was funny?

Rappaport was a funny kid.

I actually had a snowball fight with Rappaport when we were like, this is literally about 20, 30 years ago.

Oh, wow.

He was a kid on the Upper East Side.

It was snowing.

We were throwing snowballs.

Did you try to sue you after?

I think Rapperboard's son, if I'm not lost, might have even PA'd on this movie for a little bit.

I think so.

Full circle.

See how it all comes around.

Be nice to everybody, even if they're an asshole.

Well, I actually read that

New York Times article.

Fantastic.

It was very, very nice about you and the loyalty that you have.

I have loyalty, yes.

That's one thing I do.

All your friends basically were like, I will do anything, anything you need because he's loyal to me.

True.

Do you, have you, like, is that something that was just instilled in you?

Or I guess so.

My father was

a loyal guy.

My, my, my family was.

Yeah, it feels more natural.

All right.

Yeah, I did a terrible job asking that question.

I guess my question is more like all you hear about in Hollywood and even in the NBA is no one's really loyal to each other.

They're loyal to themselves.

And it's like, you know, you see owners will trade a guy after they sign him to a long-term deal.

Executives, do you feel like you're a rare bird in that setting where you're like, I'm loyal to my guys?

I think everybody, I think Kevin's loyal to his buddies.

You get your crew.

You love your crew just like you guys are doing.

And you feel more comfortable with the

people you know a long time.

And I'm sure my guys do the same thing for me.

Okay.

Well, so a follow-up on that is we're actually decent friends with Dan Patrick and that whole crew.

Yes.

You have Dan in some of your movies.

yes he's kind of like he's kind of old like don't you think you need newer podcasts newer sports podcasts

new loyalty no that's so

we'll do cameos yeah man though no no but he's washed he is washed

we're like a block away from msg we're close to where you're going

go and wash bro you say what you did go on wash bro

i mean you guys are new jackson on the on the block right yeah you showed some damn respect money right yeah thank you new money on top, right?

Got new money on top, right?

Yeah.

Got a new blue faces, small faces on the bottom, too, though.

You know what I'm saying?

You got the boomer audience on lockdown with Dan.

Now you guys move to us.

We'll get you Gen Z.

Get that millennial catch.

Maybe they are right there.

Dan's, we've done enough.

Directions are going.

Keep going.

You've been like 15 of your movies.

Yeah, enough's enough.

By the way, he's in my one after this.

I did a Halloween movie, KG, and Dan Patrick plays the principal.

That sounds about right.

Very good.

The elementary school principal, man.

He stepped in there.

How did you start that friendship with him?

Did you just like see?

The Water Boy.

The Water Boy.

He talked about Bobby Boucher having a lot of sacks, quarterback sacks.

And

I talked to old Danny there.

We got along well.

And

I think it lands into the loyal thing where I was like, whenever we needed somebody,

I thought he was a funny dude.

Yeah.

Figure, why not?

do some more.

Waterboy, fun fact about Waterboy that's not fun at all for either of you, but that was the first time I touched a breast in the theater.

I don't know.

Not my own.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

13.

In the theater?

In the theater.

Not a big deal.

That's a leap.

Yeah.

Over the bra.

Yeah.

Is that all you got?

Fully consenting.

No.

13.

Also 13.

Also 13.

So, yeah, not a big deal.

I tried to touch.

Yeah.

That movie will get you horny.

I took a date to go see Punch Drunk Love.

That was the one that was 2002, right?

Yeah, you were.

That was his first movie.

Yeah, no, no.

It wasn't.

I was trying to touch a boob in that movie, thinking it was going to be a classic Adam Sandler fart comedy.

Oh, you see.

And I tricked your ass.

And she was just looking at me.

She's like, no, this is not the time to go.

Focus on this movie, man.

Adam's getting deep.

So, yeah, I blame you still for that.

For the boob goals.

Did you take it a little Nikki right after and get things going again?

I said I did, yeah.

No one saw that movie.

Lil Nikki gets the blood going.

You get it on DVD, you're fine.

DVDs still come out?

Quite a bit.

Probably.

I don't know.

DVDs, CDs.

Speaking of CDs, you're a comedy CDs.

When I was growing up, that was like you go over to your friend's house, and if your friend has like, what the hell happened to me?

You listen to the goat yelling about, like, I'm going to, oh, fuck me in the goat ass.

You want me to do the voice?

Yeah, I can't.

Ah, yes.

That's good enough, right?

That was good enough.

Yeah.

Still got it.

Thanks.

Checking.

But I think for a lot of people our age,

that was a big introduction to an alternative form of of comedy yeah at the time so like it set us down this weird path where uh you know you said you also set yourself up for the next like 25 years of making all these films and you had this loyal audience because there was something almost intimate about sitting around a stereo listening to a comedy CD

and I don't think you get as much anymore if you're watching you know just a stand-up on Netflix I felt the same with Qi Jin Chang

as a kid I used to listen to Chi Chin Chang and Richard Prowl yeah yeah yeah exactly An album.

An album makes you connect to these guys more.

And

believe me, when I would make those albums and ev

everybody would talk to me, young people would talk to me about it.

I was like the happiest I was.

That's what I wanted to do.

It was kind of like what Cheech and Chang did for me and a couple of other Rodney Dangerfield and stuff.

We used to memorize his albums and stuff.

So yeah, I'm glad.

What was the writing process like when you're sitting down and just coming up with these sketches?

Or was it just I got an idea?

I i wrote them out when my friends were alone i would sit in a i was staying at a hotel on the first album i was shooting airheads that movie airheads yeah i was staying at a yeah i was staying at a hotel and i was doing an album at the same time and i had these yellow notebooks like that that kind of thing and i would just write write my stupid skits down or ideas and and uh or i'd call schneider up and say i got an idea you want to write this that kind of thing

says the same old dumb shit did you find i'm always curious and this is a a question for both of you because I always find like comedians and basically anyone who uses the creative side of their brain and athletes have a similar career path where it's like there's 20, 15, 20 years where you're at your peak and you have that creative energy where you're like ideas are flowing.

Have you found that it's kind of teetered off to a point where not like it used to be?

I guess I have like big breaks in my brain.

I'm not as obsessed like when I was 23.

Fuck, that's all I thought about was, shit, I gotta kick some ass.

I want to fuck him.

I'm giving this opportunity right now.

When are they going to take this shit away from me?

Let me get the fucking stuff all in there.

And then now, 53, I got kids.

I got a wife.

I got to

get some focus off of me and worry about them.

So that, I guess that slows my brain down.

But when I jump into

this movie, I was kind of, I knew how cool of a movie it was when I read it.

And then we all, like Kevin talks about, we were all so prepared.

You just didn't want to blow this shit.

So when you get an opportunity to be creative and it's exciting, I'm as all in as I've ever been.

Right.

It's just like between, I'm a little calmer.

Right, the breaks.

Now, were you more nervous to do this movie than like playing a game seven?

No.

Really?

I was playing myself.

Okay.

Yeah, that's true.

And that's what was that, you know, the simplest part of all of this is that the Safari Brothers was just very transparent.

Hey, how would you say this?

This is what we're trying to get you to say, but say it how you would say it.

And after that, it felt like dialogue.

It wasn't me remembering what you wrote.

It's like, okay, this is the ending point of this.

So

a lot of parallels in how you prepare for.

a game and how you prepare to be on screen.

You have to know timing,

momentum, believe it or not,

chemistry.

You have to know all the family secrets behind the people that you're with.

So you talk shit to them.

It helps to get out of life.

Yeah, it helps.

It helps to have a natural and a goat like this to be alphaing and controlling it all.

You know, certain times when I messed up, he kept going and you didn't even know it was a mess-up.

And he just, like, I saw the brilliance in him.

Wait, are you saying you weren't the alpha?

No.

He was absolutely.

That'll be the first time ever, right?

Between takes, he's the alpha.

Listen.

When else have you not been the alpha on the team?

I have not been on the alpha on the team.

You've always were the alpha on the team.

Not always.

You know, I had a rookie year where, you know, Sam Mitchell, you know, I had Terry Porter or the guys kind of being, you know, been the alpha.

But once I understood leadership, I lead naturally.

Okay.

Now, we said this, something happened in the room

about 30 seconds before we came in here, and Adam just alpha the room.

You know,

that kind of presence.

I was just saying, you're really calmed it down and then.

Cocaine.

I got three more interviews.

I thought it all.

Where is it?

Line that shit up.

Oh, sorry, man.

He just wake up.

So you actually came right out of high school.

Were you the first person to really do something?

I was just doing 25 years.

In 25 years.

So Willoughby was the last one to do it, yeah.

And then they put in, you know, there's a one and done rule and all that stuff going on in college where a lot of players are now going over to the New Zealand Breakers to play as a team that we own, not to brag.

But if you're out there watching, you want to play basketball, get paid, come to New Zealand.

But when you go straight to the NBA was there anything like looking back on it your rookie year were you like there were parts of me that maybe weren't prepared to be on my own as an adult

what people didn't know is that I had a I had a bunch of responsibility in my in my early life that

Being able to get paid to do what you love to do was like the least of my worries.

Yeah.

You know, my mom, I have a single mom, two sisters.

At some point, I had to take care of my little sister.

We went to moved to Chicago, had a whole big ordeal.

So the process of being able to say you're ready for something,

it's kind of like the overall, but the little minute parts, the traveling, getting sleep.

I'm not a sleeper.

So

being on the plane, getting off the plane at three in the morning, have to get back up at eight.

Those are the little neonces that was killing everybody.

Not just the high school kid, but everybody was dealing with it.

And the fact that I was younger kind of helped my turnaround and my bounce back a lot of times.

It sounds like, yeah, your personal background prepared you actually better than most.

Than if somebody had grown up with like a more sheltered environment, they go into the league and then they would kind of be like overwhelmed and not necessarily have all the tools to deal with it.

You know what's really nuts about making movies and being an athlete and having to play?

No matter what, you have real life going on all the time.

Real life can fuck your brain up so much before

when you're making a movie before going to shoot something some real shit happens it's hard to be focused but

I think

that's why the

long season man shit's gonna happen throughout a season shit's gonna happen throughout making a movie but it's getting through those moments

you try to try to get it done moving to Chicago helped me understand different types of people.

You know, every day in the street, I like to think that I interacted with a different personality or something so much that when I got into the league,

you're in the locker room with arguably 14 other guys,

different characteristics, different makeups.

Now with a bunch of Euro players coming in, you're just dealing with a bunch of different cultures in the room.

And I just learned how to interact and how to tone it down at times, turn it up at times, bring it all together, try to keep it all together.

And I found myself having 14 different connections.

And that's, I learned all that through living in Chicago, learning how to, oh man, can we get out of this?

And how are we going to get out of this?

And finagle your way out of it and then get out of it.

And like, oof, man, that could have been, that all helped me to come into the league and dealing with older people and professionals.

Were the guys KG that like, like to be alone?

Like, you know how when you're, you're, you're, I saw this kid, there was a tournament down in Florida,

a college tournament, and I saw this team.

I don't know what team this kid was on, but there was was like 15 guys hanging out, having fun, and this one kid with his headphones on just sitting alone.

He was a big, you know, seven-foot kid.

And I was like, is this something he likes?

This helps him focus, or is he just like missing home, or is he what?

Everybody's different, man.

And you have to respect everybody's different.

You know, the fact that you're in the corner being isolated, I would always see somebody isolated and come to them on my own when it wasn't, you know, kind of in front of everybody, say, hey, you good?

Right.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just okay.

You know, when people take their own isolation, I think that we should all respect that alpha.

I have always respected people's views on what they need for themselves.

Lord knows I have my own

in preparing, and we all prepare different.

And I have to, you know, respect everybody's way of preparing.

But that's also being, we were talking about being an alpha, and everyone always thinks like alpha is the loudest guy or the guy who commands the most respect, but that also, you know, going up to the teammates and being like, hey, are you all right?

Or putting Rob Schneider in every movie or Dan Patrick and like just keep letting Dan Patrick get cameos and not give it to the new age.

Better than you and you know it.

That's also an album.

We tried to light him on fire once.

Yeah.

I'll tell you the story.

We'll do what happened.

Yeah, add that out.

We were shooting a TV show.

It was pretty successful called Barcelona Van Talk.

We had one episode and he was actually the guest on episode two and he's sitting in the back seat of our van where we're conducting the interview as one does.

And so I wanted to get a lighter and our two torch lighters.

So we would light him on fire with his pajama pants on both sides.

Not tell him that we were doing it, but we'd say, hey, Dan, what's that catchphrase that you're known for?

It's L, L, L.

And he'd be like, in Fuego?

And as he said, En Fuego, we were going to light him on fire.

And then our producer was like, I got bad news, fellas.

We're not going to be able to light Dan Patrick on fire.

And I was like, but he doesn't even know that we're going to do it.

Why?

We pulled the plug on him.

What was the reason?

Like insurance.

We didn't have any firefighters or anything on.

He didn't want to murder.

I don't know.

Stunts.

It seemed like a lot of red tape.

Yeah, really just feeling like that.

The manslaughter would have been on video, and that's tough to deny later.

Yeah.

All right, we have only a few more minutes.

Quick, rapid.

Do you actually drink coffee and Gatorade combined?

Not anymore.

That's crazy.

But I used to

for about four or five years when I'll sit back and watch kind of the 95 footage to 99.

I was like, yeah, I knew what I was.

Yeah, that's that Duncan Don.

That's that coffee annoying.

That's coffee and Gatorade.

That's insane.

The mornings used to be tough for me because I couldn't go to sleep at night.

Imagine this.

You go on a seven-day road trip.

You come home.

You get home at three in the morning.

You got to drive home first off.

You got to wake up first.

It's snowing.

It's a blizzard.

Time zones.

So now you're 25.

You're not in Seattle anymore.

You're in Minneapolis.

So now when you get home, it's 4 o'clock.

You got to be at practice at 9.

So to get up, I get to practice, what, 8?

Oh, that's terrible.

I got to be jacked.

I got to be out here and then flippers on every rookie, first-year, second-year player.

Like, hey, get in front of the line.

You start the drills off.

You got to be ready.

Yeah.

I'd rather, I want to be over the top versus be chilled and cool.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

All right.

So I have one last question.

Then I think PFD's got a movie he wants to pitch to you, Kim.

Kevin.

Did you guys ever bond over

baggy clothes and your love of baggy clothes?

Yeah.

Because you guys both are like icons of the baggy clothes, like late 90s, early aughts.

You still do it.

I kind of

for real.

I love it.

Baggy clothes are coming back.

They are coming back.

Baggy clothes.

But I saw Kevin walking on the stairs in jeans and I actually saw the outlines of the calf muscles.

He's no longer doing the baggy clothes.

Do you ever look back at that, Kevin?

Like the late 90s NBA, and you're like, what were we thinking?

That was fashion, man.

You know, if you look back a couple years after that, Michael Jordan had the big shoulder pads on.

It was quite kind of real boxy.

Ashton is going to transcend.

And you see what they dress like now?

Yeah.

It's crazy.

Would you do that?

Would you ever do the, like Russell Westbrook wear like a traffic?

First off, I thought what he did in him having the confidence to pull that off.

Right.

I like the photo.

The photo.

You remember he took the photographer.

He wore the hazard.

Yes.

That outfit was jeans.

He wore the bandana win.

Genius?

Genius.

You heard those.

Have you ever seen anybody else in the middle of that?

It's ridiculous.

Caution.

That's your wearing.

That's fashion.

That's interesting.

You went right to the genius word, though.

It was genius, bro.

Like, to put a bandana with it, That was whole confidence.

And then you came out.

I got to know when to use the word.

And he just used it right.

Yeah, white jeans on it.

I got you.

I got you.

And Adam, you're kind of like known for wearing the baggy stuff too.

It's like

a draft night every night for you.

Yeah.

The baggy stuff for the young Adam Sandler started for a reason.

I used to be very,

this is not a lie.

I was jacked.

You were?

So I was jacked.

So when I had a beautiful body, so when I would hide it and then surprise you at the beach when the stuff came off, it would be like, The Sandman's Rift?

I didn't know that.

Now

I go loose, cuss,

it should be hidden.

Right.

You were jacked and Billy Madden is all that.

All right, we have

to go.

You were.

I mean,

those were movies of our youth.

Yeah, last man.

Last man.

Uncut gems, December 13th.

Check it out.

25th wide.

Yeah.

Since Kevin.

Oscars.

Kevin is getting into the film industry.

I've got a lucrative opportunity for you and a prestigious opportunity for being honest because I think that with the names that we have attached, it could really do something.

It's a movie.

If you'd like to invest in it, if you'd like to star in it, produce it, act in it, up to you.

It's called Boner Dogs.

Wait, wait, Adam.

Okay.

It's for Kevin.

It's not for you.

It's called Boner Dogs.

Boner Dogs.

Boner Dogs.

Boner.

So far, so far.

Adam.

Boner Dogs.

I've already used the word

dogs.

Dogs have boners.

I have to give away the whole thing.

What's that?

Groin pains?

Like groin pains, boner?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

Adam, if I have a movie to pitch to you, I'll do it, but I'm talking to Kevin now.

This is his opportunity.

Boner dogs.

Boner dogs.

Boner dogs.

So it's about a team of sled dogs, and they make fun of the one who's not allowed to really be the sled dog because he's always got a boner.

And none of the other ones get what.

You like that?

Adam?

All right.

And all the other ones.

You like it.

They don't have boners, but one does.

It's kind of like a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Ranier type thing.

Adam.

Saying it.

I'm laughing in a great, great way.

You're nailing this pitch, Piet.

And then,

okay, and so they bring in the dog that has the boner, and he's actually the one that saves the day at the end because they got lost in the woods, but his boner drags through the snow, and they don't have to.

Exactly, find their way back.

Yes, okay.

So, Kevin, Kevin, the people that we have loosely attached, and this is all true.

We've talked to all these people, all people that we've interviewed.

Loosely attached, we have David Spade, we have Jimmy Tatro,

we have Lawrence Taylor,

We have.

Who else?

Rob Schneider?

Rob Schneider.

No, we don't.

No, he's detached.

Kevin James.

Kevin Hart.

Kevin Hart, Chris Tucker, Chris Rock.

Any other questions?

Who's Panic?

The boner dog.

Well, the boner itself is voiced by Will Farrell.

Okay.

The dog.

Yeah.

How many dogs do you have?

We need nine dogs.

You need nine dogs?

Nine dogs.

Are you in?

Are you in or you're out?

I'm in.

Okay.

All right, great.

So, Kevin, Adam, you interested?

You want to invest in?

You want to get in halfway?

I'd like you to produce a kind of thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, you want to investigate?

Okay.

But if you want, that's fine.

Okay, so

Adam Sandler, executive, producer.

Also, this is actually a good opportunity for both of you.

We're talking about Oscar Buddha.

With this, we could even target, like micro-target a category.

So we'll film it.

We'll do it in animated short overseas so it can be eligible for best foreign animated short.

But we'll tape it in the Bahamas, and so we just get everybody to fly down there for a vacation

and then while you're here do the voiceover for the boner dogs and so you guys will be Oscar winners as well that's not

about paper doses maybe yeah all right

he wouldn't say no to an Oscar right no but I don't live for it well you're gonna win

me one yeah this is like your second one after on Temperance

exactly we're getting the wrap up we've got the wrap-up like way before the Boner Dogs pitch.

You guys needed the paperduce Boner Dog.

Let me see how serious y'all are.

We have some renderings.

Dogs have boners.

Dogs have boners, and it's always funny.

It's funny.

Everything.

It's funny.

All right.

Thank you, guys.

Appreciate it.

Thanks, guys.

That interview with Adam Sandler and Kevin Garnett was brought to you by NHTSA.

That's right, the NHTSA.

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I have a pick.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, go ahead.

Please.

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Titans.

Yep.

I have another pick.

I really only knew.

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Go ahead.

Every week we sing a song by this band.

Eagles.

Eagles.

Yeah.

You got another ad?

No, I'm still going with this.

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We have a video coming.

It's the funniest part is it's just Alec Ingold.

They asked Alec Ingold, and Alec Ingold said he was pissed that they didn't win it last year.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, so we could have done it ourselves, but whatever.

All right.

Okay, let's wrap up with some segments and send you off on your way for football weekend, Fire Fest of the Week.

Hank, you have this, Hank.

Hank.

You've had a really shitty week.

Hank.

You stink at gambling.

Hank.

Hank.

Your breath has stunk.

I think this is his Fire Fest right now.

It's just you berating him.

I said something on Monday's show.

Oh, I called you a bitch.

I'm sorry for calling you bitch.

PFC called you a bitch, and he was wrong.

Well, I wasn't wrong.

You were dead wrong.

I just wasn't right.

Dead wrong.

Got one.

Okay.

I went to the DMV a couple days ago to get a replacement ID, and

I sat there for like an hour, and then we had something scheduled for 2.30, so I ended up leaving early, and then I came back, and when we came back, we're like, oh, we'll push another hour and a half.

So I wasted all that time, and in theory, I could have just gotten through it, but now I have to go back tomorrow.

Okay.

That's tough.

You know what?

They should put little I hate this segment.

Well, you're so bad at DMV stuff, too.

I don't think you're that bad at this.

I mean, that was a good one.

Your Fire Fest was going to the DMV and not.

You versus like forms of identification are one of the greatest rivalries going.

I've lost my wallet, so I needed a new ID.

Do you have a birth certificate?

Well, yeah, after the passport debacle of 2018, which I'm sure everyone remembers.

Oh,

you remember that?

I've got all the documents.

You got one up on Obama there.

I've got all the documents.

So, at what age do you think you personally, because I think 26 is probably pushing up there to lose your wallet?

No.

No.

Mind you, this was

like in May.

You lost your wallet in May.

So you were 25.

Yes.

Okay, that's fine.

But I haven't had to drive, but I'm going to be running a car.

How did you lose your wallet?

In a cab on the way home from a bar.

Okay, so yeah, that is it.

You were on the way home from

a location.

The library.

Yeah.

You were doing some studying.

All right, Pete.

I just had a great idea.

The DMV should have.

My mom's probably listening to that preaching.

Like, big cat, thank you.

Yeah.

Finally.

The DMV should have a bunch of people.

You've raised this terrible son.

You tried to give it to us, but

we couldn't take it.

They should have a gym inside the DMV, or at least like meditation pods.

We're playing some fire.

They were playing Bob Marley, like MGMT, the music gym.

The music was actually on point.

Yeah, so listen up, DMV, big government.

Put some.

Or they should just put a bar in the DMV.

And they tried to, they're like, oh, you can just try, try and use the, uh, they have like a computer in there.

Like, oh, just try and use the computer, and then you don't have to wait.

And that didn't work.

Here's a spin zone for you, Hank.

I actually am very proud of you.

I think you're showing great maturity because maybe a 25-year-old, 24-year-old, Hank, would just go home and drive without a license and then get arrested.

No, he has to.

And it would have been a whole thing.

Oh, yeah.

That's why he has to.

Yeah.

Got it.

I thought you're just driving.

You know what you should do?

You should just go.

Yeah, no, if I was just driving.

You would have been like, fuck.

I mean, it's been, yeah.

You should just get a fake ID for it to rent a car.

That's not a bad idea.

I do have a plug over there, so.

Yeah, it'd be a lot easier to just save some time and just

get one.

Get one that says that you're 21 years old.

We should get fake IDs and join TikTok and be like, hey, what's up?

We're 18.

Christopher Kirby.

Shout out to...

That was the name of my first fake ID.

Oh, there you go.

All right.

PFT.

My Fire Fresh of the Week.

I have two, if that's okay.

First is

I lost my debit card.

So I'm screwed up.

So that's why you were defending.

Yeah, PFT.

What a.

Yeah, now I was wondering why he was like, no, no, no.

Sometimes you lose your debit card.

And so I'm trying to figure out where it is.

Somehow it got lost in the transition between the only adult on this podcast.

And a bartender in that transaction somewhere.

I don't know.

I wasn't even,

I was buying other people's drinks, not mine.

So, yeah, I've been going like this whole week just dipping into my

other debit card.

Got it.

So I don't know why I have two.

Two credit cards.

I do.

I'm about to start using that one.

I'm about to start racking up points on an airline that doesn't fly to New York.

There you go.

Yeah, so that's going to be sweet.

My other Fire Fest of the Week is I've got the song Misbehaven stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Yeah, and you've got it on us, too.

Yeah, and it just doesn't get out.

Go ahead, do it.

Mama told me not to.

I did it anyway.

Misbehaven.

Yeah, so it's just

your head now, too.

That's how Beethoven drove himself deaf.

Well, I thought his dad punched him in the ears.

No, the Ninth Symphony that he composed was

so fucking

holy.

He shot his ear off.

No, he cut it.

He ate his ear off.

He sliced it off

with a knife.

That was a Vanderholy.

Beethoven got his fucking ears knocked around.

No, he wrote such a catchy song in the Ninth Symphony that he drove himself insane.

So

he knocked his own hearing out with his hands because he couldn't stop thinking about the song that he wrote.

Who got beat up?

Who got their ears?

Boxed in.

Boxed in?

Bach.

Was that Mozart?

Maybe?

Bach.

Is Mozart also deaf?

Probably.

Yeah.

All the great ones are.

Yeah, all the great ones.

All these deaf guys.

They're just...

I may have just made up that fact about Beethoven, but it sounded good.

Yeah, that's okay.

Yeah, no, no, that sounded good.

We're gonna go with that.

That's really what happened.

Yeah, no, I'm reading right now.

He gained no

during this period, his hearing began to deteriorate because he continued to conduct.

Oh, wait.

No, I think he just lost his hearing.

He just decided to start conducting from the tuba section.

No, yeah.

Wow, so for some reason, I can't hear anymore.

I think he just started to lose his hearing.

So I think I'm right then.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

So what's the best way to get a song out of your head?

Is it to get a shittier, catchier song?

Uh-oh, bad for you.

His dad was a huge alcoholic, so I feel like that might, he might have, he might have knocked him around a little.

Okay.

In the ears, in the old years.

It was a different time back then.

Yeah.

No, I think that was bad back then, too.

No.

Beating up your children was.

Beating your children to the point of deafness.

Yeah, I don't know.

Times have changed.

We're a soft society these days.

Yeah, it's a participation trophy.

Good news for me.

Yeah, if you can hear, it just means that your dad didn't raise you right.

Yeah.

I think good news on my part is we're getting into the holiday season that's filled with other catchier, annoying songs.

So I'll probably just

have it.

Wonderful Christmas time.

So if I just repeat that,

then I will

misbehaving.

Ding.

All right, we're falling apart here.

My fire fest of the week is.

This is the first Saturday without college football besides Army-Navy.

It always hits me like a ton of bricks when you're just like, wait a second, there's only one game on, and it just...

No, Dr.

Pepper halftime.

challenge.

You get it back with bowl season a little bit, but this one's always a really tough one to kind of mentally

like jump over.

You're like, hold on.

What do we do from the hours of like seven to midnight or noon to three or whenever you know the game's not on?

So it's always a tough one.

I struggle with it.

Please, no bad news on Saturday, people.

Yeah, you're not in the right headspace.

Correct.

They should do the Dr.

Pepper halftime challenge at Army Navy.

If you didn't say your real Fire Fest.

And the winner gets to join the Navy SEALs.

Yeah.

PFT, you have three Fire Fests.

Why?

They have discontinued bags of soda at B-Dubs.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Because I drank them all.

Yeah.

That was like, I had to,

I had to tell PFT when I found out.

Like, I had to ask him if he was in the right place to get news.

Listen, some things are just too beautiful for this world, and I'm going to count the bag of sodas.

Bag of soda.

All right, before we do FAQs, quickly, let's do a hot stove update.

The hot stove actually exists this year.

It's insane.

Scott Boris, the money man, has just been signing deals left and right,

800 million plus in deals just this week.

Strasburg to the Nats, staying there.

Garrett Cole to the Yankees, and then Rendon to the Angels, who the Angels like.

I like the Angels' idea of just paying like three guys a billion dollars, and then everyone else gets nothing.

Yeah, and they're still going to suck this year.

Yeah, right.

Even if they don't suck, no one will care.

But listen, this is a great move if you're Rendon because you don't like dealing with the media.

You don't like the spotlight that much.

You don't have to worry about that anymore.

It's a manned machine.

Exactly.

It's a retirement.

Brilliant contract.

You just move to Southern California and you get paid to just chill.

I like the Garrett Cole.

That it was so perfect.

It's so perfect.

Like he's already got his pinstripes because the picture went around of him going to the World Series in like 2001, being like Yankee fan now, Yankee fan tomorrow, Yankee fan forever.

So you know the Bronx loves him.

He shaved right away.

And he,

this, like, this, this romantic view of how the signing went was like Garrett Cole was on the fence, and then they brought in Andy Pettit, his hero.

And then they also mentioned again that he was going to get $324 million.

But it was the Andy Pettit thing that really did it.

Is Andy Pettit talking about how they will take you back if you ever get caught for using HGH?

Yes.

That's the difference.

And Andy Pettit just writing out how many zeros were in $324 million.

Yeah, they just had Andy Pettit read the contract to him.

Andy Pettit didn't even meet face-to-face with him.

He just recorded like a podcast just for Garrett Cole.

That was him reading the terms of the contract out.

So $324 million.

One of my favorite parts about hot stove season is after the contracts are signed, how every single GM out there that didn't get the player has to give an interview and say, we almost had him.

We were in there till the end.

And, you know, it doesn't always break your way.

And so we put our best foot forward.

It's like the Pirates are like, we almost had Garrett Cole coming back.

That was a big one.

We made a very very strong offer for Garrett to be back in Pittsburgh.

Did you see that stat that Garrett Cole, the Yankees gave Garrett Cole more money in free agency than the Pirates have given any of their free agents the last 25 years?

Yeah.

Combined.

That's a football town, baby.

That's brutal.

Listen, if you don't want to be at the Three Rivers confluence, then you can just ship the hell out because they're not going to overpay.

That made me feel a little better about getting mad about little poor boy Tom Ricketts.

Yeah.

Little poor boy.

He's a little broke boy.

Latest rumor.

Can't afford anything.

Latest rumor.

We might be keeping Chris Bryant within the podcast, though.

Yeah, I know.

Because the Nats are very interested in him.

So that would be the Phillies are too.

The Phillies are too.

So we'll see.

Say a prayer.

Say a prayer this holiday season.

Light a candle.

When you're at church, when you're at midnight mass for little poor boy Tom Ricketts.

You know what we should do?

We should start a GoFundMe for Tom Ricketts.

Like it's the holiday season.

I don't know if he's going to be able to afford to keep the lights on.

Oh, man.

Everyone's getting coal and

presents for the family.

They're basically.

Well, actually, they probably are getting like coal mines.

Yes.

He's giving those away.

Shitload.

Here's a coal mine in your name.

Yeah.

So it's like,

what's the Charles Dickens?

Is it just called

Christmastale?

Yeah, something like that.

With the Scrooge one?

So he's actually Tiny Tim.

Yeah.

And so he's the poor family.

What about the Red Sox, Hank?

How are they doing?

You worried?

The Yankees?

28.

Dude, Garrett Cole's bringing number 28 to the Bronx.

I mean, the Yankees are.

The Yankees want it.

The Yankees need it.

They don't win this year.

It'll be a major letdown for them.

Yeah.

It's going to be...

It's going to be a real shame.

Now, as the Yankees sign more and more, like,

being around Yankee fans, it's going to be so much funnier if they don't win at all.

So much funnier.

Also, do you really want to sign a guy who was most likely just cheating in Houston?

Right.

No, absolutely not.

That hurts.

I mean, it's the new steroid era.

It's like, do we want to sign this guy knowing maybe some of these numbers are inflated?

I mean, I got got to take a look at the spin rate once he starts throwing his first bullpen session.

Oh, I know someone would be on it.

Trevor Burrus, yep, spin rate is going to decrease a lot once you get up here.

It's a Christmas carol, by the way.

Not a Christmas tale.

Close enough.

Close.

Don't be afraid.

You knew what I was talking about.

FAQs, Hank.

Simply having wonderful Christmas.

So that song, real quick,

while we start FAQs, someone has a theory, and

I actually agree with it.

That song is about witches who, when they get discovered, just start talking about how it's Christmas.

I saw that, yeah.

Because it's the moon is right, the spirit's up, we're here tonight, and that's enough.

Boom, someone walks in the door, and they just start going, simply having a wonderful Christmas time.

We're not doing anything.

What is each of your personal podcast flu games?

I'm talking deathly sick, some sort of other emergency, et cetera, when you should absolutely not have podcasted, but somehow you still preserve.

Well, when I threw out my back and you guys came to my apartment and Stella almost ate the mic and I had to pee in Gatorade bottles because I couldn't get off the couch for three days.

That would probably be it.

That was definitely it.

That was really bad for me.

Yeah.

I really couldn't move.

It was actually kind of cool.

It was nice and relaxing being at your place.

You were just horizontal.

Yeah, and Stella just trying to literally bite the mic.

Yeah, I don't know what mine would be.

There have been a couple where I've had no voice.

My voice goes very quickly.

Yeah, mine too.

You can tell instantly if I have been at a concert or a bar on that Saturday night before a show that we tape on Sunday because I will just have no voice whatsoever.

Also, anytime we need to start doing like disclaimers,

like the Lindsey Vaughan interview, that was taped before 10 o'clock.

Yeah.

Like we should just do a, hey, just a heads up, guys, this interview was taped before 10 a.m.

or just before noon.

Like, it stinks.

Got a tip about Boston University basketball and bet way too much on them against Golden GW.

Oh, man.

They lost in a buzzer beater and I punched my laptop that I was watching the game out of instinct.

Any tips on how to control gambling rage?

Yeah, you just got to, hey, you got to go to the Barstool Sports store, and we have some shirts, positive vibes only.

We have the, it's only money.

We have the

life will go on.

Just, you know, think about the good things.

Yeah.

I mean, I would say just like a light, a mild dose of LSD.

Okay.

I didn't think you were going to go that direction, but okay.

Like micro, micro dose.

Here's actually some practical, practical advice.

Get yourself a gambling best friend.

If you don't have a gambling best friend, you're doing it all wrong.

You need your friend, and it doesn't have to be your best friend.

It just has to be one of your friends who also gambles like you do.

And whenever a bad beat happens, you share it with them.

You talk about it.

They basically give you the sympathy.

They're like, man, that sucks.

I'm so sorry.

And it feels so much better.

So find that person.

If you don't have your gambling best friend, you're doing it all wrong.

And shout out everyone's gambling best friend.

Those guys guys got your back.

Or

you could just double down on your bet and bet exactly as much as you've lost.

And also you're going to win it all back and be back to zero.

And the cost of a laptop.

Correct.

Whoa.

The same enzymes that break down the food we eat will eventually break down our dead bodies.

Yikes.

Whoa.

Wait.

Whoa.

Did you see that person who was getting into it about me with like how milk is not, you shouldn't be drinking milk?

Yeah, we're the only species that drinks milk, bro.

Fuck that.

Stat.

Yeah, milk is also delete.

What am I going to say?

How do you see Jim Harbaugh have the success he's had?

No, the argument is babies are our species.

After you drink, no, like, baby goats drink their mother's milk.

Yeah, but baby goats don't drink after.

Like a horse's milk.

Oh.

You know what I'm saying?

Well, yeah, but they're fucking goats.

They don't really

think they would.

Our fault is that we stopped drinking breast milk.

We have thumbs to be able to do the

milk and nesing.

Right, we should

continue to breastfeed

until we're the age of like 50 or 60.

Like, what's the name?

The Lord of the Vale.

That little fucking weenie.

A little Game of Thrones shout out.

Yeah, by the way, if you presented

a cow udder to a puppy, I'm pretty sure that the puppy would be.

They would sunk on milk, right?

It's just that animals don't get along.

Right.

Yeah.

Sup, boys, especially Slim Cat.

Fireflies are the complete opposite as waterfalls.

Whoa.

Wait, what?

Fireflies are the opposite.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Firefight, waterfalls.

That's true.

That's crazy.

That's really cool.

Is the special guest Aaron Rodgers?

No.

No, we're at the end of the show.

But we might have a special guest for Monday, too.

Yeah, I think that we will.

It's actually going to be a huge guest.

So we might break the no-guest Mondays just for this one because it's so special.

Yeah.

Even more special than today's?

I mean, depending on where you're from in the country, he's pretty special.

Yeah.

We're going to end with this one.

Okay.

Matt Schaub has the 20th best quarterback rating of all time.

I love new stats.

I love the new age NFL.

Of course he does.

Of course he does.

Well, people forget there was like one season, I think it was under Kyle Shanahan, actually.

Yeah, no, he was.

Where Matt Schaub played at an MVP level for like 12 or 13 weeks.

Of course he does, though, because this is how...

like the new age NFL, this is why the Jameis Winston Peyton Manning stats are so ridiculous when you actually adjust them for era.

It's like, yeah, of course that Jameis Winston has these numbers that are better than Peyton Manning.

Peyton Manning still played partially in like the old NFL.

I'll bet you could actually find a year of Matt Schaub where he's even better than Jameis Winston.

Oh, man.

Or Peyton Manning.

Matt Schaub's best year right now.

I'm looking it up.

He had 29 touchdowns and 15 interceptions, 4,700 yards.

That's pretty nice.

Pretty nice.

67.9%

completion.

That's a real nice year.

Sick nice.

Damn.

Went 9-7.

Thank you, Matt Job, for everything you've done for us.

All right.

We'll see everyone on Monday.

Love you guys.

I'm talking away.

But I don't know what what I'm about to say or say it anyway.

Today isn't my day to find you shy.

Oh, I've been coming for your love of case.

All the things I say

that I love.

I'm just afraid of worrying with you.

You all things I've got to remember.

Being shy and I'll I'll come and be anyway.