Week 14, Fastest 2 Minutes, Jameis Winston's Mona Lisa + The Titans Are On Fire

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have football week 14 recap. College football playoffs announced.
A huge weekend of football, and we're going to recap all of it. Hank is in a bad mood.
He had a bad week gambling, but that's okay. We've all been there.
We're going to pump him up. Well, I mean, I ran out of things to talk about.
I had a bad week too. A banana duct taped to a wall sold for $120,000.
So that's what we'll do. That's what I promise you.
We are going to, after we recap every game, we're going to figure out some way for us to make a shitload of money. Why don't we just duct tape a banana to our wall? Perfect.
Do we have a banana? There we go. In the kitchen? I'm sure we do.
Okay. Before we do all that, part of my take is brought to you by the...
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Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff Work to be done No place to hang out No washing And then I can't play All on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Clash app Go download it right now, use code Use code BARS so you get $10 for free. $10 to the ASPCA.
Today is Monday, December 9th, week 14. Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! We start in Western New York, where Lamar Michael Jackson said, You can't read my handoffs.
It doesn't matter if my arm sleeves are black or white. Devin McAllister, Singletary, made the rest of his family on offense disappear as he carried the load of bricks for almost half of the team's yards.
They see me roll in. They hate in Hurst.
a 61-yard touchdown has the Ravens riding dirty to the ninth straight win. Ravens 24, Bills 17.
In the battle for Ohio, Andy Dufresne Dalton threw for 262 yards of fit-smelling foulness I can't even imagine and had his pick-six acts confiscated by the Denzel Warden. In the first half, the Browns' offense was bogged down, but in the second, they opened up the playbook and told the Bengals, you're going to swallow what I give you to swallow.
The Browns win, but not without turmoil. As Cleveland fans are left wondering, will the season end with a simple message? Odell was here.
Broad 27, the Bengals 19.

In Lambeau where Terry McLaurin-Hill and Wyclef John Bostick saw the Redskins' playoff chances get killed softly and circle the Dwayne Haskins. Matt Live Love Lafleur is trying to stay positive with his angsty quarterback, but the unit is Aaron Jonesing for more.
Mason Derulo Crosby is no stranger to having something 33 yards long come off his leg, and the Packers season is pointing in the right direction if you catch my drift. Tiege gave him the shaft, boom.
Packers 20, Redskins 15. Whoop, whoop, whoop.
The frozen tongue-down spread. In H-Town, where Drew Glock was deadly from the pistol position, standing his ground against the Texans, the Texas linebacker fittingly dressed up in average Joe's uniforms because it looked like they were dodging every ball the Rockets threw their way.
Noah's SpongeBob Square fan said, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready to break out, as the rookie tight end had a huge day. And the Texans fan says, alright, I'm ahead out, as this one was over by halftime.
Bad sports town boom. Brock West 38, Texans 24.
Down on the bayou where Drew Scarface Breeze asked the Niners, who's the bad guy? Only to have San Francisco answer with, say hello to my kittle friend. As the Pro Bowl tight end sealed the victory like a cockroach refusing to die sean payton spent all week preparing for jimmy world garoppolo by telling his quarterback drew breeze it's just taste some time everything everything will be just fine but everything might not be so fine now that the saints don't get the playoffs at dome sweet Sweet Dome.
49ers 48, Saints 46. Whip! Whip! Some score.
Up to Minnesota where David Blau Blau Blowerwheels looked like a cheap imitation of a Matthew Stafford. Kirk Cousins thunderstruck quickly in the game with a touchdown to AC BC Johnson, and the Vikings are back in black with a division win.
For the Lions, it's officially draft season. And for those about to mock, we salute you.
Vikings 20, Lions 7. Standing on the corner, James Winston, Tampa, Florida, such a fine sight to see.
Look at those hats, my lord, lighting up the scoreboard for touchdowns, three INTs. Come on, Brissette, how'd you miss that? You mad Frank, right in the words of Cameron from Tipset.
Fox 38, Colts 35. You didn't see that one coming, Hank.
The Kansas City equipment managers were shipping up to Boston. Oh, to find their missing bags.
Tom Wayne Brady improvised on a pass to Nikhil Harry, but the refs looked at the out-of-bounds marker and said, Whose line is this, anyway, making a a Colin mockery out of the rulebook? McCole Kidman Hardman was trying to take a ring away from Tom Cruise Brady as the refs had their eyes wide shut all night long. The password's fidelio, Broom.
After back-to-back losses, the Patriots are now on to Cincinnati. On to Cincinnati.
On to Cincinnati. Chiefs 23, the Patriots 17.
Was that Steve Belichick? No, Steve. That's Steve.
What did I say? Thousands of dolphins live in captivity around the world. You may have heard of the bigger attractions in Northern America and Europe, but what you might not have heard of are the smaller parks here in Asia.
Dolphins are being kept in tiny chlorinated swimming pools. These dolphins are subjected to loud music, unsuitable water conditions, malnutrition, and are forced to entertain guests for up to 12 hours a day.
These horrendous conditions affect the dolphins not only physically, but psychologically. And most of these cetaceans don't survive for very long.
Jets 22, Dolphins 21. We finish in Oakland where AJ Soprano Brown was on fire like a Nissan X-Terra parked in the New Jersey suburban woods, and the Titans look like they're going to run the Vrabel.
It doesn't matter how much you tan your perineum in Oakland because there's no sunlight entering this black hole, even though their head coach is a grudus and is showing the world his ass.

Derek Clapton Henry is bringing the

boys back to the music city with a

dub. Titans 42, the

Raiders

21.

Week 14

in the books.

Absolutely love it.

I love football. I love watching football.

I hate losing betting on football,

but these are the days that we are it. I love football.
I love watching football.

I hate losing betting on football.

But these are the days that we are going to really...

We're going to look back fondly on.

Look at us right now.

Once late February comes around.

What's better than this?

Yeah, nothing.

Nothing.

Week 14, we've got to pump up the volume here.

I do feel like it's Spider-Man meme.

There's been some bad Sunday nights for me.

I'm looking in the mirror at Hank and PFT.

Bad Sunday nights.

Thank you. up the volume here.
I do feel like it's Spider-Man meme. There's been some bad Sunday nights for me.
I'm looking in a mirror at Hank and PFT. Bad Sunday nights.
That's okay. We march on.
Sunday night with you guys is a good Sunday. There it is.
That's right. Look at all this positivity.
The only way you lose gambling is if you stop. Right.
If you're watching on BarstoolGold.com slash PMT, you can see we're cheery now. We're happy.
It's the friendships you make along the way. We're going to start.
We're going to recap every single game. We're going to start with the night game as we always do and then work back in time.
The Rams. Oh boy.
They're frisky. The Rams.
Now we talked about this on Friday. The Rams, for whatever reason, Sean McVay has figured out Pete Carroll's defense and it looked exactly like that.
Again, outside of, you know, obviously Jared Goff had a couple interceptions. He had a great game otherwise.
They were moving the ball very easily against the Seahawks. And I don't know if this is like a Mike Tomlin Patriots situation where Pete Carroll just refuses to change strategy against the Rams, but that was a no-doubter.
They made the Seahawks, who who have been one of the hottest teams look like kind of a joke in this game yeah yeah and even Jared Goff's interceptions weren't that bad because he well there was one that was bad but another he pinned him deep yep pin him on the two-yard line they've got a quarterback that can do a coffin corner and they've got a punter that can throw touchdowns it's a Swiss army knife knife team and yeah so the the rams look like they're somewhat back uh here in the race they are are they officially wait now are they the sixth seed if it started today they're definitely doesn't their hunt hurt your hunt yes it hurts a lot it hurts a lot but the bears are going to win out and the vikings are going to start losing out so i'm not worried about the rams as much as the vik falling flat on their face. And even when it was like Jeff Fisher coaching the Rams, it always seemed like the Rams were good for at least one victory against the Seahawks.
When the Seahawks were like winning Super Bowls. Got their number.
Yeah, so right now the Rams would be... No wait, no they wouldn't.
They're outside looking in. So they need some help too.
That was a big win for them tonight because right now it would be the Vikings and the Seahawks as the two wildcard teams. So, yeah, it does hurt me.
It does hurt me, Hank. You're right.
But you know what? I'm happy my friend Jared played well, and we'll just deal with it in the coming weeks. The Bears will start winning every single game, and it will be no problem.
But the Rams are back in the picture here. Their pass rush will look really, really good tonight.
I remember we talked about the seahawks offensive line missing some guys aaron donald getting that penetration up the middle he was looking good and terrifying man more than anything it looks like the strategy to maybe not use todd girley all the time at the beginning of the season is paying off because he looked pretty electric tonight he looked like oh i think actually al michael said it one point. That's an old school Todd Gurley run.
Because he was doing the thing where even if on first contact you couldn't bring him down. He had 79 yards.
I think he had a bunch of yards receiving as well. And he gave that stiff arm to Trey Flowers.
Just buried him in the dirt. And I think Chris Collinsworth said delivers an absolute facial to Trey Flowers.
Just squirt it all over him. So let me ask you this, PFT.

The Seahawks, we talked about their point differential

and how it's kind of a weird anomaly,

the fact that they haven't been able to blow any teams out,

the fact that they've been winning games by the skin of their teeth.

If you were sitting here right now and you're a Seahawks fan,

are you watching this game tonight and being like,

well, I might panic a little, or like Chris Collinsworth and Al Michaels were saying which made no sense a statement loss it was a loss that was good it was a loss that was actually a win in the NFL yes which is tough to come by shout out to our good friend Trent Dilfer and his private jets I think that this was I don't know you can build off stuff I think if you're if you're a Seahawks fan, you probably have this penciled in as like, oh, it's a primetime game, divisional opponent, they need a win, they're hungry for it. It's not the end of the world to lose this game.
Plus, it's just always nice, like just watching the grass in Los Angeles. It's a very comforting shade of green.
I feel like, especially underneath the lights, any loss is a little bit easier to swallow because you feel like you've been meditating just looking at that beautiful, beautiful seed. Yes.
I think it's one of the last games at the Coliseum. There's not many left for the Rams because I don't know if you've seen this, but anytime any media member flies in and out of LA, they take a picture of where the new stadium is going to be.
It's the 1.9 or maybe, maybe it's like $2 billion megaplex of football, the cathedral to football in Los Angeles, California, America's NFL town. Yeah.
But yeah, I can't wait to see a time-lapse of that because I've seen all the pictures that like Andrew Siciliano takes and Rich Eisen take of the scaffolding and stuff coming together. But I haven't seen any time lapses yet.
New home coming up.

Imagine if the time lapse guy just forgot to turn on the camera.

Fire him.

Like there is one time lapse guy.

Actually kill him.

Yes.

That would be the ultimate oof, I fucked up.

If you just forgot to start the time lapse camera when they like broke ground.

If you forget to press record on a camera,

you should be fired from whatever job you have at that moment.

Right, Hank? The time lapse camera. That's going to's gonna be very speaking of time lapses Pete Carroll looks like he's getting younger on the sidelines his face looks like the CGI they use in the Irishman yeah to make Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro and all those guys look like 20 years younger no Pete Carroll is definitely one of those guys who's going to live to be 115 and just like walking briskly around his neighborhood, chomping on his gum and, you know, wearing his new shoes.
He's going to be one of those guys that everyone in his family will be like, yeah, he's 98 and he's still driving. Not at night, but he's still driving.
He's not driving well. Yeah.
He's only hit three cars in the last like six months. It's pretty good.
He's still driving. He's remarkably lucid.
Remembers his twin's name. That's my favorite is when someone's so old that the still driving is a feat in itself.
Yeah. Still driving.
We're trying to kill him as best we can by giving him keys to the car, but that motherfucker just won't die. He had six heart attacks in the last 10 years, but he's still driving.
He blacks out. Something's going well.
He blacks out, so he got him a giant SUV so he doesn't hurt himself when he crashes it. Still driving age.
All right, so the Rams got to feel good coming off that. The Seahawks, like I said, I think the Seahawks, I'm putting the Seahawks, they're not frauds, but I'm putting them in the category of teams with enough question marks that I wouldn't feel confident that I'm making it deep.
I don't trust them. Right.
I don't trust the Seahawks. Right.
I think that they'll show up when they need to, usually. They could win a playoff game.
I'm not betting my pinky on the Seahawks. They're not going to win three playoff games.
If they can't get a bye, I don't feel good about them. Right.
So that's really what it comes down to. And tonight hurt their chance for a bye.
Well, they could. I think if they got to go into Dallas for a game.
Which I think was what would happen what would happen right yeah if they got to go into dallas they would just stop the ever-loving shit out of yeah they would definitely win that game but i'm saying like without a home playoff game i just don't i yeah they're they're a question mark there's a big question mark around the seahawks although they do have uh they should be able to win out because they have the paint at the Panthers home against the Cardinals and then week 17 home against the 49ers, which would be a great game. That'll be great.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Let's go to the one o'clock.
Let's start with the big one o'clock game. The Ravens and bills.
The Ravens are now winners of nine straight, which is a franchise record since the bye week they have beaten the patriots the texans the rams the 49ers and the bills how you like me now that's like that is pretty damn good if you're a ravens uh if you're on the team or if you're a fan of the team you're walking around with your chest puffed out because you can seemingly not lose to anyone. And Lamar Jackson was doing his witchcraft thing that he's done probably every week since like week four, where he takes five steps in the span of like half of a second, a little crab dribble.
It's like a James Harden step back three that he does. And he has the ability to hypnotize players on defense where they just collapse.
They look at him moving his feet, and they look like they've been snake-charmed, and they just completely pass out on the play and fall right on their face. You just got that shake that you just can't.
It's an illegal move. It feels illegal because it's so damn good.
The Ravens, though, their offense wasn't that good today. They had one big play to Hayden Hurst, and then the rest of the game it was their defense their defense stepped up so I think I said this last week but the way the Ravens keep winning games they've done it in every single fashion that you can't just like you have to walk away being like holy shit this is impressive they win close games they win games when their running backs aren't playing well but Lamar is vice versa their defense like they'll just do anything they have to do to win the win and I don't know I mean the only thing you can say at this point is are they peaking too early but if they keep peaking then it's not too early they've been peaking they peak all the way through December and January they've been having tantric football sex ever since like late September it's insane they're sting yeah just sitting there and you know like they're sitting, just cumming over and over.
Maybe they haven't even cum yet. Maybe they're just edging.
Maybe they're just at the point of orgasm for the last three months. Did you see before the game, a lot of Baltimore fans made the trip.
It's become like making a journey to Mecca for football fans. Yes.
Making that trip out to Western New York and partying with the legends of the Bills Mafia. And the Ravens fans were just so happy to be there.
They're like, Ravens fans and Bills fans are kind of two sides of the same coin in a way. One wears Zubaz, one wears the purple and black camo.
Yeah. Which is like if Zubaz joined the war on Christmas.
Then that becomes the camo that Ravens fans wear. But they were jumping off the tables, a lot of handshakes.
I'm starting to ask, are Bills fans becoming too friendly to visitors? They're soft. Yeah, they're too welcoming.
Okay. I mean, this was, yet again, the biggest game in Buffalo Bills history in the last decade.
And it felt like it. It felt like they had it for a second there.
But I think Josh Allen, who is up and down, and today was maybe not his best game, I think he needs to do, here's my idea, I think he needs to do like 25 to 30 arm curls before the game. Take like three yards off that deep ball.
Okay. Because it feels like there are three or four throws in a game where he's just a little bit too far on the receiver.
If you can just bring that back just a little bit, and maybe it's something like that where you just weaken it just a little bit, he can hit those balls. Okay.
I was thinking that you were saying his arm is so long that he needs to do the curls to get a nice pump going. No, he needs to, you know, after you've done like 30, you know, 30 curls I usually do like 40 or 50, but yeah your arm feels a little bit fatigued so you don't have that 100% strength.
He needs like 97% strength to get some of these deep passes. Maybe just have Frank Gore just slam his nuts into his bicep right before the game just like give him a little Charlie horse a mild cont contusion on his arm.
The problem, I think, with the Bills is they don't have an offensive identity. And I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool to say.
No, I think they do. It sounds like you know what you're talking about when you say it.
Well, they kind of do. Yeah, they do.
It's running the ball and intermediate passing. Yeah, but when they're really clicking is when he's throwing the deep ball.
No, I think the deep ball is a special extra thing they put on top that like they'll take their shots and if they hit it great but he also

there was some drops their offense was just kind of a little sloppy all over the place today so

and you have to play perfect to beat the ravens um the only other thing i had was the the marcus

peter shotgunning a beer shotgunning a beer after victory uh that's what the twitter moments said

twitter moments is run by a cop by the way like that what did he do i didn't see this he just

Thank you. Marcus Peters shotgunning a beer, shotgunning a beer after victory.
That's what the Twitter moments said. Twitter moments is run by a cop, by the way.
Like that. What did he do? I didn't see this.
He just, he just had like a half of a beer can and just kind of poured it on his face. Okay.
And Twitter moments said Marcus Peters shotgunned a beer in victory. Yeah, that's definitely a cop.
That's a cop. That's cop work right there.
Like every time I see Twitter moments, it Like, just keep an eye on that. Cop.
All the time. In order to shotgun a beer, you have to be drinking it out of the hole that's not the real hole.
You have to actually open it. The second hole.
You have to suck it through the back hole. Right.
Correct. And then we also had Tredavious White pick up that sheet.
That was pretty funny. That was cool.
That was just a great classic gag. It blew across the field.
I do respect the referee for being so quick to steal that away from him. You can't do that.
He's like, dude, this is the AFC East. We do not tolerate cheating in this division.
Also, that wasn't like a playbook. It was just printed out whatever the last play was.
It's one of those weird black and white screenshots that's printed on a dot matrix paper. It's a still shot taken from the Goodyear blimp at 20,000 feet.
Yeah they do that throughout the entire game i feel he probably has that exact same thing on his side i feel like technology has advanced to the point now where we don't need to be looking at these like 1970s graphic novels as pieces of paper to figure out where the defense is lining up hey the microsoft thing what's called the ipads uh the knockoff ipads the surfaces yeah the surface Surface. Tablets.
Shout out Moses. Okay.
Bengals-Browns.

Battle of Ohio. Freddie Kitchens should be fired.
Even in a win. Is there a world where Freddie Kitchens doesn't get fired this offseason? Freddie Kitchens is passing.
Like, he can't even pass the simplest of tests. And the simple test that I am talking about is the bangles have the worst run defense in the entire league and freddie kitchens ran the ball six times in the first half six times he ran the ball he has kareem hunt and nick chubb he probably like in terms of tandems he probably has the best he ran it six times in the second half he ran it 18 times and they absolutely bodied them with the running game afterwards after the game in his press conference he said i thought we had some plays in the past game in the first half so that means that he like went in with that game plan like we're gonna pass to set up the run even though the bengals can't stop the run for shit And then when asked why the running game worked better in the second half, he didn't say, well, because we ran it more.
He just said we blocked better. So he really is stupid.
He's a dumb dog. You blocked better on the many, many more attempts that you had in the second half.
Yeah, he's a dummy. He's a dummy.
He's reached the most dangerous level of dummy, I would say, which is where he's outsmarting himself, which is very easy to do for Freddie Kitchens. But he's doing the thing where he's going into a game saying, they're going to expect me to run the ball because they suck so bad.
Freddie Kitchens has wrapped himself so deeply in his own brain that he thinks that the Bengals have been playing rope-a-dope for the last 13 weeks to put out bad defense against the run on film so that he will then in turn try to run the ball on him and they're like oh we've got you right where we want you Freddie no Freddie that the Bengals I think the simplest explanation is usually the right one and it's usually simpler to just say the Bengals suck Freddie Kdy kitchens is the guy who gets paralyzed trying to make the right move in rock paper scissors shoot he is sitting there saying oh my god are they gonna throw okay they threw paper last time so they are probably gonna go throw rock but they know i'm gonna throw paper against the rock so i gotta go throw scissors he's doing that in the lead up to every game and then he gets to the game and he just keeps throwing rock over and over actually no he probably throws paper they threw scissors the last yeah 10 times that's their tendency so he's like i got this i got this guy yeah he's he's at a blackjack table and he will uh he will die at a table trying to figure out whether or not to double down so if you're wondering how could the brown season become more browns well the answer is uh we have a training staff controversy so after the game baker mayfield said that odell beckham uh probably should have had surgery in training camp probably would only missed one or two weeks isn't running like he should be there's also been reports all week long that Odell Beckham wants out of Cleveland.

I have no idea why, but they said that he walks up to players and coaches

like on before a game and stuff and say, get me out.

He goes up to a coach.

That's a ridiculous report.

And I love it.

Yeah.

Just like he whispers to people like pregame, like a note, like, hey,

like, good luck.

Yeah.

He went, he passed him.

No, he's like, please help.

Please help.

They're holding me hostage. That's they won't let me get surgery.
I don't. Was that Jay Glazer that reported that? I'll check.
I read that he's been. Sounds like a Florio or a Glazer.
I read that he's been telling friends that he wants out. And I don't think Odell Beckham really has friends.
Well, on the other side. He's just got shit moves.
That's so perfect that he's doing that. He is like one week away from writing it in his eye black.
Like, please get me. Someone trade for me.
Put it in diamonds. Glazer.
Glazer, yeah. That sounds like a Glazer.
Like, encrescent in diamonds on the strap of your wristwatch. It says trade me.
Glazer was right on when the Giants traded him. So Glazer, obviously, Glazer might be Odell Beckham's only friend.
Now, to be's also hurt he's got a sports hernia which is and

the training staff screwed it up and I know Baker talked it back because it's like you don't want to throw them under the bus but it sounds like they probably listen I've stupid for like dysfunctional franchises do dysfunctional things these things happen to franchises that can't get out of their own way they have training staff that will not fix simple injuries in the proper you know time That's what happens. This is the most oh-you-think story of all time.
To have the Browns be like, oh yeah, we kind of screwed up that timeline. In lighter note, though, Swagger Jr.
is 4-0. So he's not a loser.
He did not lose that game against the Steelers because Swagger Jr. does not make road trips.
He stays at home. He watches the game.
Does he? Yeah, I'm sure. I don't know.
He's like John Madden. He doesn't like to fly.
They just keep him at home. I think that counts.
I think the road games still count under Swagger Jr.'s He's the dog of record. For stat cherry picking, I'm going to definitely say he's still undefeated.
Did you see how sad it was? We're going to get to football playoffs i'll go without his shirt on yeah looked really depressing he'll go for people who missed it lsu beat georgia so bad i'll go had to do the thing where he turned his jersey inside out so that people wouldn't heckle on the way out of the stadium so he got naga got naked and you're probably thinking well you mean he just became a regular, yeah, he became a regular dog because otherwise people would be like, hey, there goes Ugga, that fucking loser. Well, it's still better than getting gored to death by Bevo.
True. But I mean, man, it's sad when a mascot dog has to take off his jersey.
That's a sad state of affairs. It's like when you bring your parents or grandparents to a football game in Philadelphia wearing an opponent's jersey.
And on the way out, you're like, hey, you've got to hide. Something everyone's done.
You've got to hide that and make sure that they don't see you because they don't give a shit about your age. Yeah, please.
They beat up their own players. I just want to say that I liked seeing Andy Dalton back in midseason form throwing a pick six and whiffing on a tackle.
That was nice to see. He was actually good today.
Like, he's – it's crazy that he got benched. I feel like the Bengals could have had a couple more wins.
They don't have a lot of talent. Well, I know, but they kind of – they're like – they're one of those – I don't think anyone – I think it's impossible to tank in the NFL.
I really do because it's just a sport that's impossible to tank. Like, guys are playing for their next jobs.
It's a violent – it's hard to tell people, hey, go out there and just don't try. So that's why you put out a sport that's impossible to tank.
Guys are playing for their next jobs. It's a violent game.
It's hard to tell people, hey, go out there and just don't try. Right, so that's why you put out a quarterback that's a rookie.
No, I know. I know.
You're going to be as good as often. But Andy deserves better.
That's true. He wasn't like the pick six was funny.
It was very Andy Dalton, but he was not bad, and he actually can do the thing. Like he's going to be on a team next year, and I will sell myself on him being decent again what if it's the Bears well that's what he's preparing himself for no that's exactly what that was we're done we've that ship has sailed boys it is a new Mitch it is uh it's good to see Andy out there and I think that the Bengals have done a good job of tanking just historically as a franchise it's easier to tank in the NFL through just decades of sheer incompetence than it is in one season where you're actively trying to do it.
Yeah, and credit to Zach Taylor because they are at least trying and they're competitive in games. So credit to the Bengals for trying.
There it is. I do think that with Odell, it sounds cool to say you've got a sports hernia.
Just letting people know that you an athlete you play sports he's got sports bad attitude instead of like being like i got hemorrhoids yeah i got i got sports herpes yeah it's not good um all right redskins packers pfc these are your two teams okay they are well one i own and the other i aspire to own one day uh the packers put it put to the Redskins' playoff hopes. They were very much alive.
I put a future down on them a couple weeks ago. So now I'm just rooting for the Cowboys to make the playoffs at 6-10.
That's really all I have to look forward to right now. Haskins was out there with a leg injury, which is always good to see from a Washington quarterback.
Haskins is the new heir apparent to self-sack quarterbacks. He is so slow.
I know he had an ankle injury, but he's also slow to begin with, and he just kind of falls into sacks. Yeah, I mean, he did have a bad ankle.
He wasn't putting any weight on his foot. I know, stupid that he was playing.
Yeah, he looked like Barbaro out there after he broke his leg. It was bad.
It was painful to watch. How are you feeling about your Packers?

I feel like the Packers are a little bit fraudulent.

Oh, welcome to the right side of history.

Well, listen, it took only beating the Redskins by five points for me to realize that, hey,

maybe they're not that great of a football team this year.

Aaron Jones is very confident, though.

He's crediting astrology for the Packers still being in it.

He says he's a Sagittarius, so he's got a lot of of juice left and this is the time of year that Sagittarius is peak I guess I don't know anything about like astrology or or stars or moons or anything like that so the Packers their they their offense just goes quarters halves with just looking terrible they have scripted plays that look good and then they just fall apart they did did it again today where it felt like they were cruising, and then the cruise didn't happen. I went and looked.
The Packers have played 52 quarters this year. 16 of those quarters, so 30% of the quarters, they've scored zero points.
That seems like a lot for a 10-3 team. 25 of the quarters, almost half of the quarters, they've points or zero half of the quarters so yeah half of the half of their games in those quarters they've scored three points or zero so they go stretches where they just stop scoring and it feels like that's something that will specifically bite you in the ass when it comes to the playoffs and on top of all that every single quarter gets worse so they score seven and a half points in the first 5.7 in the ass when it comes to the playoffs.
And on top of all of that, every single quarter gets worse. So they score seven and a half points in the first, 5.7 in the second, 5.5 in the third, 4.7 in the fourth.
Okay, so they need to drink more water is what I'm hearing. I'm just saying, those are stats for you.
Stay hydrated. I know that we have a big game coming up.
It's Bears-Packers, I'm sure. Listen, people throw this back in my face.
Whether the Bears win or lose on Sunday, what I just said stays true. So they suck in the fourth quarter is what I'm hearing.
Why don't you just have the scoreboard operator in Chicago? It's in Chicago? No. Oh, it's in, fuck, it's in Lambeau.
Yep. That's tough.
Hometown cooking. Okay, on the sideline, just have everybody hold up your fours before every quarter.
I'm just saying, and I know there will be people who are mad, but I'm just saying facts, and i'm sure that they've seen this they know this if you've watched every packer game if you're a packer fan you know exactly what i'm saying right now i'm not doing it to be mean i'm doing it because we talk about every team and i happen to think that a 10 and three team should not have half of their quarters where they score three points or zero points that's weird yeah it's very strange their new motto though is aaron rogers has a new thing that he's going to say you ready for it yeah we need to win ugly and they won ugly well that's what they do every single week they're going to win very very ugly Mike Lennon he's made a career out of that they're going to win very very ugly because that was that not to toot our own horn but we actually kind of predicted exactly how that game was going to go because the Redskins kept the Redskins can stay stay in games by just running the football and shortening and, like, punting. They have good special teams.
They punt it, and then they flip the field, and they just play that game until the clock hits zero and they've only lost by six, and you're like, wait. How'd that happen? Right.
I do want to give a shout-out to Callahan, the interim head coach, for making absolutely no effort whatsoever to even have a controversy about him keeping the job going into next year. No, he doesn't.
He's like, he's house sitting right now. He's like, my job is to just like water the plants.
I'll flush the pipes out every now and again. Maybe have one party where I break a few things, like my quarterback's leg.
But yeah, for the most part, he's just like, I'm going to keep the lights on and that's all they're paying me to do. He's the beta guy who comes over for the Super Bowl party and tries to sit on the couch, and you walk over, you're like, hey, man, can I get my seat back? He's like, yeah, no problem.
Can I get you anything? Yeah, that's what he's doing right now. Okay, Bears-Packers Sunday.
It's Packers hate week. We'll see.
We'll see. Like I said, I don't think the Packers, I think I'm putting them in the same boat as the Seahawks.
They're a step below the 49ers and the Saints in terms of teams that are at that extra level where they have it all. Back on the Dwayne Haskins thing for a second.
He continues to make the smallest incremental improvements in his stat lines and in his performances week after week after week. But we're never going to know this season if he's going to be the guy of the future or not.
And this is the most Redskins thing ever because what's going to happen is the Redskins are going to finish with a very high draft pick. They're probably going to reassign Bruce Allen, which just means, I don't know, like just being a full-time drinking buddy of Dan Snyder.
But he might not be the general manager next, or he might not be the vice president or president of football operations.

So they might be in a position to draft another quarterback.

And I have no, I have no doubt in my mind that they're going to pick the wrong quarterback

and just have, just have two quarterbacks that aren't the answer at the same time.

Back to back years.

Well, just keep taking quarterbacks every single year.

They should take a quarterback with every draft pick.

Ryan Pace actually said that when he was, became the Bears GMm he wanted to take a quarterback every year didn't happen um it sounds a lot better but you teams should be smart and start taking a quarterback every single year yeah whether it be in the sixth seventh round doesn't matter just keep keep taking shots at it uh okay lions vikings this game we had a couple this game happened games today. The Panthers-Falcons is another one we'll get to.
But Lions-Vikings, this game happened. The one thing about this game is the Lions didn't lead.
And they led in every single other game this year besides this one. And the Vikings bounced back against the Lions.
It's a little bit of medicine for Kirk Cousins. He pretty good game yeah uh they here's here's one thing about the vikings looking forward to next week even they're one in six in pacific and mountain time games under zimmer so they're going out to san diego to play the chargers that's a big time close your eyes uniform game kirk cousins in san diego doesn't look right nope does not look right mike z.
Mike Zimmer sucks in California. Mike Zimmer probably just hates being in California.
He's going to have to wear sunglasses. With the entire disdain at the entire state.
Yeah, that's going to be and the Chargers a little bit of a, the Chargers have a better point differential now. It obviously helped today because they blew out the Jaguars than the Seahawks.
Yeah, the Chargers have like a plus 38 or something. They're having a classic Chargers season where they're just bad enough to miss the playoffs and just good enough to be like, man, they should have made the playoffs.
Yeah, Phillip Rivers is doing an awesome job of making sure that the Chargers are just good enough where they won't be able to draft a good quarterback next year to replace him. All right, the best game in the 1 o'clocks, the best game of Sunday,

and the biggest game with the biggest implications, the 49ers and the Saints.

This game, this was a snowball game where they just decided

everything's going to be thrown out the window here.

You have a good defense.

We have a good defense.

Let's pretend that neither defense is good and score a shitload of points. If can be in the zone coaching kyle shanahan was in the zone coaching because they had 500 yards 500 plus yards in the dome and shout out our guy george kittle uh big time players make big time plays him getting just ripped to shreds by his face mask

and still running down the field he was like an angry bull on like the pbr tour when they start

when they get it in that little confined space and he's just losing his mind that's what he looked

like when he was doing everyone was just grabbing and prodding at him and he got a 39 yard pass uh

completion on fourth and two with 15 yards tacked on he He looks like he's in a fight every time he has the ball in his day. He looks like he's in a 2.30 a.m.
drunken brawl at a fast food restaurant where trays and shit are flying over the place. He knows where he has to end up, and he's just going to fight every guy to get there.
It's fun watching him run. That was the play of the game obviously.
A beast. I feel like the Saints play three games a year where they score 43 points 45 points and lose.
It was a snowball game though. It just started and there was a couple crazy plays to start and then it was like okay things are just going to go this way.
You see Big 12 games get like this and you're like alright last team with the ball team with the ball, we'll win. We're going to say, hey.
Score gone a game as well. Was it? Yep.
48-46? Never happened, but we were waiting. Wow.
So this also was your answer to can Jimmy G win a big game? Yeah. He did.
He had to throw the ball. He won a big game.
Well, is it me, or does the Saints defense play better when Teddy Bridgewater's a quarterback? I don't know. Do they? I feel like they do.
Because they know that they're not going to outscore anybody. They were, like I said, I think it really comes down to, I think the Saints defense is not bad.
In fact, they're good. Right.
Kyle Shanahan was just in the zone. Right.
Like Kyle Shanahan was calling shit that just worked nonstop. I think both defenses are in the top 10 or top like seven in the NFL.
But for whatever reason, they were just like, yeah, you know what? We're just going to score points. Yeah, let's just have a good old-fashioned shootout.
So what this game means, if you are the one or two seed, you're seven times more likely to go to the Super Bowl. And the Saints, as a franchise, are seven and four in the playoffs at home and 1-7 on the road.
And this means now, crazy as it may seem, the Saints are the three seed. So they just bumped down from the one to the three, and the Packers are the two, and the 49ers are the one.
It's crazy. That is crazy.
Now, is this another example of a hangover loss for the state of Louisiana where theyisiana where they're riding high off an sec championship game most of those fans are probably out partying they probably didn't go to sleep last night they were loud just stayed drunk so maybe the first half was as loud as it needed to be it was it was a great game i hope that we have this game like a rematch of this in the playoffs would be fantastic um and i this the 49ers have gone through just a gauntlet schedule i I mean, they haven't been home. They were playing in Baltimore last week.
They went to Florida. They went to the Panhandle for the entire week.
So they haven't even been home. Are they going home now? I think they are finally going to go home.
I think their schedule lightens up at least a little. It has to lighten up a little.
It can't get any worse. No, because they just have gone off of like they I think they've played all the first place teams so they have the Falcons at home and the Rams at home and then they finish against the Seahawks so yeah I mean this is a statement this is the you look for these wins when you're the one seed or the two seed and you're like are we for real these type of wins are the are we for real wins.
And this is the one.

So I think if you ask any 49ers fan or anyone in that organization,

you're going away for two weeks.

You're not going to come home inexplicably.

You're going to stay in the panhandle.

You've got to play the Ravens in Baltimore and the Saints in New Orleans.

You've got to split.

I think they take it.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, winning one of those two games.

Then they're the Falcons next week. They only lost by three to the Ravens, so they basically have gone toe-to-toe with everyone important in the NFL.
Kyle Shanahan revenge game next week against the Falcons at home. I think the 49ers are going to put up like 50 points again.
I agree. I agree.
That's going to be a plug back. And the Dan Quinn.
And they're going to be staying at home. The Dan Quinn field goal revenge game.
That's where the famous field goal happens. It was against theers yes so it'll be it'll be 51 to 3 yeah we'll have to see if that's a score got me uh all right next up speaking of field goals uh dan quinn if he he i would imagine dan quinn after the game tonight like his honey was like his uh wife was like honey do you want your favorite dish and he's like nope i just want to see the jets dolphins jets dolphins tape because the dolphins attempted the impossible.
They attempted to beat a team by only kicking field goals. They kicked seven field goals.
The fact the score of 21 and having it be seven field goals is so fucking funny. And, uh, the, the jets win on a last second field.
So there's 10 total in the game. My question is, do you think there's anyone out there, and we don't care about fantasy, but it is fantasy football playoffs, do you think there's anyone out there who won their fantasy football playoffs because of Jason Sanders? Do you think anyone has Jason Sanders? Yes, I'm sure.
I'm sure it happened because you saw that they were going up against the Jets. So that would be – But there's only – if you're in a 10- or 12-team league, you're not...
Do you think the Dolphins kicker's owned? Hank, find out how many... What percentage is owned.
I think that you pick... It might be one of those leagues where you pick up whoever is playing against the Jets.
Okay. One of those type of things.
I don't know. I mean...
Yeah. It'd be like, what, like 35 points? Could you imagine if you lost...
Like, this is why fantasy football sucks, because at the end of the season, you go to the playoffs, and something like this can happen. And you're like, what the fuck? I really wish I had bet my over three and a half field goal bet in this game.
That would have been really nice. Carry over.
I would have absolutely crushed it. Do we now, the weirdest thing with the NFL is rules that made no sense now make less sense, because we're now overt we're now overturning pi it's a new fad yeah we're trying it i think we're gonna over every all season long no pass interferences were ever overturned or called when it when it was challenged because it hadn't been called on the field this game was decided essentially from an overturn and brian floor has gotten big mad well it's like uh it's like having a really strict teacher it's always easier to let the rules relax as the year goes on so like first day of school nicole kidman marches and she like raps you or michelle pfeiffer right yeah michelle she just beats the shit out of all her students with rulers and stuff and then by the end hey you can write you can do your uh assignment on bob dylan gangster and all the kids are like oh yeah, Bob Dylan, that folk artist we all know.
So it's one of these things where Roger Goodell at the start was like, we're not going to overturn shit, and then we'll see who starts to stop challenging, and then we're going to gradually relax and give you a little bit. What this is all leading to is the Saints to get absolutely boned by a pass interference that does not get overturned in week 17.
Yeah, and everyone would make the same joke online. Oh, did you see the Saints, though? The 49ers hacked the rulebook by committing pass interference on a punt.
On a punt. You can do that.
Yeah. You can do anything.
Nick Saban would have flipped his shit if that happened. It's international waters.
You can do whatever he wants. It's the purge.
It's incredible. You can murder a gunner.
You can take out that knife that knife that we talked about the secret knife and you can stab a gunner if they're in the punt if the punter's on the field it was also that play was so perfect because you get it very few times in the football season you get to basically flex on idiots online and if you didn't have the sound on for that game like i saw jason mcintyre instantly was like why wouldn't they challenge that and people were just responding like dude you don't know the rules you can't you you can do whatever you want on on a punt formation which no one knew the rules we just heard them say it dean blandino explained it to us but for those like two minutes you were the master of all knowledge right well everyone else tried to figure out. Right.
When Kenny Albert explains it to you and then you can explain it to somebody that doesn't know. Everyone in the house, you're like, hey, listen up.
I got a new rule for you idiots. Yeah, it's great.
What do you got, Hank? Do you have him? Jason Sanders, not even owned? Not even, can't even find him. I got distracted with my, I was looking at my fantasy team.
Oh, okay, cool. How'd you do it? Perfect.
Did you win? No, we don't care. We don't care.
By the way, Brian Flores – Well, I realize it's a two-week playoff system. I was very confused.
What? It's a different league. Okay.
Brian Flores, there's a difference between being mad when you're at the end of your coaching tenure for a team and being mad at the beginning. Like that mad was, I'm just defending my guys.
We're trying to win football games here. We're trying to build something.
If it's flash forward like four years from now and he's mad and they still haven't won any games, it's like Brian Flores. That guy's got a temper and he's got to go.
Well, this mad was Brian Flores being mad because a loss here means that maybe some of his guys his assistants yeah might not come back next year so he's like getting mad at the refs for ruining his guys who worked hard for him right in the build-up and the prep for that week and then they they had to go out there and lose the jets did you see robbie anderson tried to do the the hurdle today yeah and he just got absolutely destroyed he got smoked because robbie anderson i don't know how big he's he's probably like he's a little guy right no he's tall is he he's slender yeah he's slender that's what i'm saying so like nobody nobody's afraid to go up high tackling robbie anderson yeah so i don't know why he thought he could teabag him and just like jump nuts first he's uh 0.5 percent honed there we go so i i'm gonna safely say that no one lost our league because of it that's no that's just incorrect. I mean, 0.5? Sporigami tells me that.
Someone show us, send it to us. But 0.5 is no one has it because they're like, fuck it, the Dolphins kicker.
Now people are going to try lightning in a bottle and pick them up. We should pick them up in our league.
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So go to one Peloton dot com. Use promo code pardon and you get 100 bucks off accessories with a purchase of your tread one Peloton dot com promo code pardon pardon okay uh let's get to the greatest performance we've ever seen by the one and only jamis winston oh my god this was this was it this was it this was his peak performance this was like you can name whatever band you want to name their best year their best album if you want to talk about you know like a pitcher having a 21 season and uh a two era whatever it may be your best year in your life i'm sure you can think of it like that's the year i crushed it that was this game for jamis winston he did the full jamis winston It was beautiful.
He had the literal Jameis Winston hat trick where he had over three touchdowns and three interceptions. And he started the game off by throwing an interception.
And Jameis is the king of that. First pass.
He leads the league in my own personal stat book on game opening interceptions. You undersold his performance though.
Because had he had 456 yards he had four touchdowns passing he had one running where he did the awkward like james winson doesn't do dive-ins like the tom brady dive he does a stand-up where he kind of just shoves they have like a shoving match until he kind of falls in he had one of those he had three interceptions he had a pretty much broken hand that benched him for a drive. It was a small fracture, which is kind of misleading.
Itty-bitty fracture. Because no matter what type of fracture it is, when you have hands the size of a three-year-old, it's always going to be a small fracture.
Itty-bitty. It's a cute one.
He took himself out of the game with his small fracture and then put himself back in. He's like, you know what? It's broken, but I still think think that my broken hand is really you're not able to tell the difference between Jameis Winston with a hand that's been smashed by like a ball peen hammer or Jameis Winston with a fully healthy hand yeah like what's the worst is gonna happen is you're gonna fumble in a hilarious fashion I wouldn't want that to happen uh he had a comeback of four he was down 14 in the second half, back and wins the game they go uh he had his best receiver go out with a hamstring it was jamis on steroids i loved every second of it in fact he had 456 yards five touchdowns and three interceptions he just you know how you'll there'll be guys who uh like, yeah, it doesn't really show up.
What he does doesn't really show up in the box score. Everything Jameis does shows up in the box score.
Yeah. His box score, his stat line is a fucking party every single week.
It's an adventure. You look at it.
It's a perfect diary of how he spends his time on the field. I look at Jameis Winston's game log,

and I'll go and look at the game summary,

and I'll see the initial line,

and then I have to scroll down because you've got to see how many times he ran the ball.

He probably ran it six times for two yards.

How many fumbles he had in fumbles for a lot.

It's a rollercoaster of emotions.

I love Jameis Winston.

He also, I don't think he has ever seen a linebacker in his life. All of his interceptions are exactly the same.
It's a linebacker that he just never saw was there. You know how we joke about Jameis Winston? Like, I don't think he, is there something like middle blindness? Like short-sighted and long-sighted? He doesn't see the middle linebacker.
He He just can't see it It's like he just doesn't see that level of the defense Ever It's exactly in between ways of the near sighted Mr. Magoo or whatever The guy that would go up and pet a cactus thinking it was a cat Yeah, you're right He can air the ball out He can hit a guy 50 yards down the field I love him He's not bad.
He's not bad on a screen pass either. He is.
I'm going to say this. This is going to be very high praise.
And I don't mean everyone relax. I'm not meaning like he's as good as this person.
But I think Jameis Winston is our Big Ben heir apparent. Okay.
Okay. Well, they've got similar legal histories.
Yep. They're just, you know, sketchy off-field stuff.
They have the classic, like they're never fully down on the field. There's so many plays where Jameis Winston has six guys around him and then he just kind of emerges from it.
A little chubby. A little chubby.
They've got that fat face working. Every single throw they throw has 100% confidence behind it.
They've got very sweaty faces, too. Yes.
He is. We need someone that we can laugh with, laugh at, laugh with, have ups and downs, and Big Ben's getting to the end.
I think Jameis, if God willing, he's in the league for another decade because he is, and I said this a million times he is the funniest quarterback i've ever watched yes live laugh love james i want him on the bears i don't think you do i think i think you get sick of it you've already had rex grossman yeah so what you're getting yeah rex grossman times two what you're getting with with james is like rex grossman on the world's shittiest steroids no but but Rex Grossman's fumbles weren't funny like Jameis' fumbles. They were pretty funny.
He was a fumble six guy. Yeah, but Jameis fumbles when his arms flail and everything.
It's just, I just love him. Do you have an AFC team? I fucking love him.
If you were one of those guys that are like, well, I'm a Bears fan, but the Chargers are my AFC team, then that's the team that you would want him on. Jameis on the Chargers.
Yeah, you don't want him too close to your heart. You don't want to live and die with Jameis because you're just getting brought back to life and shot in the temple every single Sunday multiple times.
I love him. And you know what? You would regret that.
You know what? You would regret having Jameis as your main bitch. You need Jameis as your guma.
Okay, fine. That's fine.
So maybe I'll just be a Jameis guy. Like wherever he goes, I'll be there.
Not actually, but in spirit. What are you going to say? One of one of one Jameis guys? Yeah.
Be me and the one of one. Who is...
He was doing, like, weird... His emojis are a little out of hand.
Wait, you're telling me that the guy that's dedicated his entire life to how great Jameis Winston is might have a couple screws loose? I'm starting to think this guy might not have it all up there. I'm not fully there yet.
I'm not going to say it all the way. I feel bad for Frank Reich.
Can I just say that? Oh, I don't. To me, he is losing his mojo.
He looks like he's got the lowest T of any coach in the league right now. He looks like an upset hardware store manager.
When teens come in and don't know the difference between different types of reciprocating saws. He's just like always just staring out on the field, looking longingly for something better.
I got you. This Colts season, they've lost five of the last six.
They've lost all their mojo. But it's okay because they can throw it all back to this was the season andrew luck retired no you're right it's fine it's this is the big picture it's all good in the big picture you're absolutely right because there were no expectations right and then there were but so they got to go back to none but it's still sad looking at him on the sidelines just like a wet cat just standing there looking disappointed that's that also it's a disappointed father there's certain...
Like, a loss in Tampa Bay in December when everyone's not used to, like, warm weather always looks different. Always looks different.
He looks like a dad whose daughter brought home Ben Roethlisberger on a date. He's like, here, dad, meet my new boyfriend.
Yeah. Brought home Jameis.
Yeah, the Colts are done. That was nice for a little bit.
But I really wrote that down. I was like, this was the season Andrew Luck retired.
Anything bad that happened this season, yeah, it started off with some hope. But now you're just like, yeah, guess what? That was the season Andrew Luck retired.
It's not a big deal. Quentin Nelson is bodying punters in pregame.
Almost killed that guy. Yeah, you looked like he wanted to just snap it, which he probably could.
Yeah, oh, absolutely. So the Bucs.
I think if you're able to rip a man in half you should be allowed to do that on the field yeah it's just like if you've gladiator if your body has achieved that level of peak male performance you should be able to exercise as you see fit i don't hate that um the bucks are going to finish nine and seven i told you this last week they have the at the lions, they have the Texans and the Falcons Texans at home. I mean, I don't trust the Texans.
We're going to get to them next, but I don't trust the Texans at all. So if the bucks finished nine and seven, and that would mean that they have won six games in a row, you have to keep Jameis have to, even if they finish eight and eight.
Right. Yeah.
No, I think you're right. So they're keeping him.
I think they're going to keep him. But they're in that weird spot.
And, you know, Stephen Shea, number one Bucs fan. Oh, was that? Was that just? Yeah.
Johnny Bananas show. Which has happened.
Hank's girlfriend's on TV right now. She's on TV.
American Ninja Warrior. It's the show before the show.
But, yeah. First look, Johnny Bananas.
The pre-show. She's on the A on TV American Ninja Warrior it's the show before the show but yeah first look Johnny Bananas the pre-show she's on the ANW pre-show so if you're a Bucks fan you're kind of screwed now because you probably don't like we love Jameis because he's not ours like you were saying I don't want him on the Bears if you're a Bucks fan you have to keep Jameis if they finish off the season with six straight wins yeah no you absolutely do have to do have to do that.
So you're screwed. You're just going to go back.
Jameis is going to be around. You're going to go 9-7 again next year.
Love it. But you'll make memories that last a lifetime.
It's true. Because you don't forget Jameis Winston.
No. He does not fall to the ages.
Again, he is a party in the stat book. You know what he's like? He's like a friend that has a really cute dog that you get to go over and play with sometimes, but is really poorly behaved and tears up the couch and shit at its own home.
You just want to go over. A puppy you can leave behind.
You want to follow him on Instagram and boop him occasionally. I want to do more.
You don't want to pet him. I want to sleep.
I want him to sleep in my feet. You don't want to let him sleep in your bed? Yeah, yeah.
I want to see you can go under the covers. That's fine.
Trust me. Don't let Jameis in your bed.
All right. So, the Texans.
Ultimate Texans game. Broncos-Texans.
Just when you think that the Texans could be for real. Let's have some tough talk with Texans fans right now.
You guys, this is why no one ever takes you for real. This is a, you hear announcers say, this is the kind of game that you have to win if you want to be a contender in the National Football League.
Like, you're coming off a big win, right? You're feeling pretty good about yourself. The great teams find a good way to beat the Broncos.
Now, I will say this about the Broncos. I called Drew Locke being good, and he is good.
Make no mistake about it. He's not lucky.
What did you call it? He's not lucky. He is very good this offseason.
Oh. Before the draft, even.
Oh. He is very good.
He is lucky. I take that back, actually.
He's lucky, but he's consistently lucky in all the ways that you see. Wait, who said he was lucky? He's occasionally lucky.
Oh, I think he's good. I agree with you.
No, he's good,

but he's also, you can tell when a quarterback

is really good is when they're consistently lucky

at everything that they do. He

finds himself in the right place at the right time.

He locates the balls really well, and he's

got the M word. He's got moxie.
Yeah, he

does have moxie. He's, um, he actually

he actually made history today.

He was the first quarterback to score

to throw for 300 yards, three touchdowns plus in uh his first road start so john elway listen just keep taking shots at it and eventually you're gonna find a guy and i think you might have found a guy well drew lock is also doing something really really smart right now and for the last two games he has been really good about finding players that his current g GM has brought in and making them look good. Yeah, no offense.
And that's going to give you a lifetime's worth of credibility with John Elway. If you make John Elway look like he's competent, he's like, I don't know what this guy's doing, but he makes me feel smart, so I'm going to keep it around.
All my draft picks look good. So today, no offense.
He hit him for what, like 130, 140 yards, something like that. Cortland Sutton had a big game last week.
So he's completing passes to the right guys to make his bosses happy. Yeah, I guess he's the guy.
I actually, if you're going to suck, you might as well have a quarterback that you feel good about going forward, and I think that is Drew Locke. It's kind of crazy that they even are going to consider.
I mean, knowing John Elway, he'll probably just be like, Joe Flacco, let's do it again. Yeah, you look healthy.
He'll do something to fuck this up because I can't just in my heart of heart think that John Elway has solved the quarterback situation. That makes no sense to me.
Well, let's think. What would the ultimate John Elway moves be this offseason he would bring in nick foals probably right i could see him doing that bring in tom brady he

could talk himself into philip rivers yep easily yep he's probably already got like a locker with

philip he's got he's tech he's been texting with him uh are the broncos officially the team you

don't want to play down the stretch yes there's always one if there's drew lock because he's got

he's got the it factor he passes the eyeball test he does he he does throw a nice ball uh but

Thank you. the stretch yes there's always one if there's drew lock because he's got he's got the it factor he passes the eyeball test he does he he does throw a nice ball uh but back to the texans real quick what do you do if you're the texan i mean this is now they could lose the afc south yeah you realize that they play the titans twice in the last three weeks and titans are the hottest team in football i don't like that i don't like that like that scheduling thing.
That's crazy. Like, they...
This is...

Hank, you always make this joke as a Patriots fan,

but, like, there's at least a decent chance

that the Texans could miss the playoffs

and have it be like,

well, they won the Super Bowl against the Patriots

on that Sunday night game.

As far as their fans are concerned, yeah.

They are... I mean, it's crazy that they're playing the Bucs.
So they play the Titans. Titans next week.
Titans, Bucs, Titans. Those aren't easy.
Yeah. Their defense will be dressed up funny, though.
Yeah, you can't show up for a game wearing average Joe's shirts and then play like average Joe's. Those aren't easy games.
So, yeah, I also, the Texans, if you're looking to bet on the Texans ever, just see if Will Fuller's playing because they're so much better when he's playing. He didn't play today.
Their offense looked terrible. I mean, credit to the Broncos' defense for playing well.
But I feel like every time he plays, they're just a completely different offense than when he's out. And he's out all the time.
He's out a lot. All the time.
The announcer in the first half made an interesting comment. He said that Romeo Cornell, the defensive coordinator on the Texans, would be in the Hall of Fame if there was a Hall of Fame for assistant coaches, which is just an awesome idea that I think that we should probably get around to making.
Hall of Fame for everything. Just all the Ryans.
Yeah. The Buddies, the Rexes, the Robs.
Todd Haley would probably be in there. Yep.
Todd Haley. Yeah, there's a bunch of Dave Taub, the special teams coordinator, who's with the Bears.
Then I think he's with the Chiefs now. Mike Tomlin's twin.
Mike Tomlin's twin. Just because.
Pete Carroll's twin. Pete Carroll's twin in.
Yeah, there's a lot of them out there. There's a lot of twins that got to go in.
Deuce. Deuce.
He's got work to do. But for right now.
Todd Bowles. Todd Bowles is a classic guy who's.
Great head coach too, though. That's the thing about Todd Bowles.
Greg Williams. Yeah, Greg Williams.
Overqualified head coach. No, sorry.
Underqualified head coach, overqualified GM. Or assistant coach.
He's a great assistant coach and should be a head coach untilqualified GM or assistant coach.

Like he's a great assistant coach and should be a head coach until he is a

head coach.

And you're like,

Nope,

that doesn't work.

He's the Peter principle,

which is you get,

you get promoted in life until you reach a level of incompetence and then

you get sent back down to where you should be.

Where you should be exactly there and be good at your job there.

All right.

Let's see.

Next up.

Let's actually,

let me do a quick ad read and then we will go to we have the late games uh we also have that panthers falcons game which again it happened we need to discuss that one no i really i i have one thing that i wanted to say about it but it really is that that game basically didn't happen in terms of like the universe all right uh with all the chaos the holidays in full swing it's easy for important dates like birthdays or anniversaries to slip your mind. So our friends at 1-800 flowers.com are here to remind you that when your back is against the wall and you need a bouquet fast, 1-800 flowers is your go-to move.
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Enter code PMT. That's 1-800-Flowers.com.
Code PMT. Panthers-Falcons.
It's a game. That happened.
Falcons haven't quit on Dan Quinn. That's all I'll say.
Young Hue Koo is doing everything on that kickoff unit. He recovered.
I think he recovered a fumble, right? Boom. Boom.
That's awesome. Koo.
That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's it's pretty cool so yeah it was it was 20 to 40 the other thing about this game cleat blakeman fucked me over again he's on fire cleat blakeman is on fire the last two weeks did you ever stat check that no but see the dangerous thing about your dms being open is that i feel like people send you stats and they know that you're not going to look it up which I wouldn't either yeah I'm not blaming you but we got no I'm not to people are not to blame no people are taking advantage of you and then by proxy taking advantage of me because you tell me the stats and then I do it too well let's see Cleet Blakeman NFL official statistics I mean it's it's it's a problem so I love that pro football reference has stats that they keep for for refs.
That's great. But yeah, I think that Cleep Lakeman should be...
I think we're marks is what I'm saying. When we're talking about Todd Bowles and the Peter Principle, Cleep Lakeman, his career should have capped out at being the referee for the Dr.
Pepper Halftime Scholarship Challenge. Being one of those guys that just raises his hand up and counts every single ball.
I love those guys. But I think people are taking advantage of us when they send you those stats that are completely random and we don't look them up and then it's like, oh, the next two games it goes exactly opposite I'm not going to bet on a single Cleop Blakeman game for the rest of the year that's all right Chargers, Jaguars 38th birthday for Phil Rivers happy birthday Phil love you Phil weekend.
38th birthday for Phil Rivers. Happy birthday, Phil.
Love you, Phil. I love a good birthday game, right? And he was awesome.
Yeah, it's the opposite of Jake DeLome when he threw like four interceptions and four fumbles. On his birthday, yeah.
He was awesome. The Jaguars have quit.
Fully, 100% quit. Because you can tell when a team quits when they just give up so many running, like, big run plays and screens.
Austin Eckler had 12 touches for 213 yards. Yeah.
So that's a team to quit. Well, what happened on one of those plays where he ran for, like, 70 yards and a touchdown, they got to Phillip Rivers, and they hit him on a blitz, and then Eckler caught it and then just ran, and nobody came close to touching him but but the Jaguars kind of just stopped playing because like that's awesome we just hit Philip Rivers yeah we got that counts as uh it's going to show up on that little under pressure stat thing that comes up on the broadcast yeah that's one knock down on him birthday punches birthday punches on Phil and then Eckler's just sprinting at 70 yards in the end zone unscathed yeah so they're done they're done Doug Maroneone's probably done.
I hate to say it because I like Doug a lot. Yeah, and he's always welcome on the show, and he'll land on his feet because the coaching fraternity helps its own.
He's from the Bronx too. Yeah, he's from the Bronx.
So a tough guy. Yeah, he went to high school with Diana Rossini's dad.
That's right, yeah, something like that. Don't fight Jalen Ramsey.
You can't fight – yeah, so he could kick anyone's ass is what we're saying. So the Jaguars, though, are a tragedy in championship windows.
Yes. When they were a quarter away, what are you looking at me like that for? When they're a quarter, for the record, I'm always looking at you.
Yeah, I know, but you gave me, I know when you give me eyes. You gave me eyes.
Did you not give me you not give me eyes championship keep going i'll let you finish they were very good for a while when they won when they that 2017 team they were one quarter away from the super bowl that defense was all young guys who you thought would be around for a very long time and they had the foundation built and they had a future hall of fame quarterback in bl Blake portals and you thought it was all going to work out and here they are two years later and it's a teardown not a rebuild a teardown so I do think that this is like if you're a Jaguars fan now obviously if you're a Jaguars fan you know your history of your franchise and you're not actually thinking like we're going to be good for a sustained period of time yeah I think that year was an anomaly more than anything. I don't think – Their defense was special that year.
But I don't think after that year, all right, the Jaguars will be – you can count them to be in the playoffs the next five years. I thought that their defense would keep them competitive in the next seasons going forward when you looked at their roster.
They were one of the most talented rosters in the NFL. They broke the Pittsburgh Steelers too.
Yeah. It happens so often in sports where you think that you have a young, good team built for sustained playoff runs, and then it can just all flip in two seconds.
Do you not buy that? You can't. It's different.
I understand where the Jaguars. I get what you're saying.
I'm struggling with it right now. Not personally, but I.
Right. I'm struggling with it right now because there could be a chance that, like, the Bears with Khalil Mack and that whole defense could never be back in the playoffs.
So it happens. Right.
I mean, the Jaguars, I agree with you, Big Cat. I think that they were a special team for a little bit.
But when you have really, really good defenses like that, it's better if you don't have your starting quarterback that's taking paternity leave for six months and not showing up and arriving. Quarterback.
I thought you said quarterback. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Blake Bortles would never take paternity leave. I was like, what? Never.
That's not in his bag of tricks. But they always felt like they weren't as stable as the Bears defense.
No, no. Again, these franchises matter.
Infrastructure matters. I'm not saying that Jaguars fans realistically thought that they were going to be awesome for the next five years.
But in 2017, they had a defense that I would have said was going to be good for the next three to four years at least. And if they could figure out on offense, they would be good and they would be competing for playoff spots.

It's fallen apart very, very fast.

And they've traded players, too.

I want to put together a little study based on teams that are really good in warm weather

towns.

So you start to enjoy a little bit of success.

But now it's Jacksonville.

Jacksonville also, like, what can you enjoy?

Well, it's North Florida.

It's the Canada of Florida.

They don't want to go there.

Yeah, they got good beach bars.

Laurel's just hanging out there a lot.

Yeah.

But if you have a nice, warm-weather town

and you're, like, a dominant team for a season,

I feel like that lends itself to teams fucking around.

You know, getting a little careless in the offseason. Just being like...
Having a few extra glasses of bubbly. Fuck it, let's do it.
All right, Minshew Mania is over. No, I don't think it's over.
He just needs to surround himself with a competent running game. I think that Leonard Fournette is just so goddamn frustrating.
I mean, I feel like Minshew Mania... Now, he is a moxie guy, but he's like every single game, it's like four yards a pass.
Well, when you say Minshew Mania, then of course it's not going to stick around. Nothing that's ever been a mania or insanity.
Beatles Mania was pretty cool for a while. But then they shot John Lennon.
Well, not the Beatles. Then Paul McCartney went and wrote that shitty Christmas song.
Yeah, christmas song yeah so nothing good can stay if you call it a mania a mania implies that you just go fucking nuts what about hulkamania that's like the greatest mania of all time that stayed around for a long time hulkamania well then he starts sleeping with his well we don't have to get that but that was a long that was a sustained mania i think that was probably the longest mania. WrestleMania? Still going?

But that's only but once a year.

Yeah.

And it only lasts for three hours.

But it's mania.

So Minshew mania could be great once a year.

Beanie Baby mania?

Yeah.

Was awesome.

Someone's going to make a shitload of money off their Beanie Babies when that comes back.

The bottom line is I like Minshew, but let's not call him a mania because that implies that it'll be a flash in the pan.

I think that he'll stick around.

Okay. So, yeah.
I mean, I don't, you think he's a starting quarterback? I do. I think Gardner Mitchell is a starting quarterback.
I don't know. I think that'll stick around there.
I also like certain parts of their offense. I think he's actually exactly a mania.
I think he's the perfect backup quarterback that will come in. We'll hear from him a few more times.
He'll have a team for a year that's his team and maybe get to the playoffs. But in terms of, like, is he going to be a starting quarterback, franchise guy? No.
The problem with Minshew is he's very maniable. So anytime he plays really well, it becomes a mania.
He's got, like, a mania aura about him where he's got the mustache. He's got the swagger.
He gets you pumped. And so anytime he's playing well, it is amazing.
So it's going to be a high and low. It's going to be bipolar.
His stat line today was very depressing, though. Maniac, depressing.
24 pass completions for 162 yards. Yeah, it's not good.
Well, he also has a sweet touchdown pass to Nick O'Leary, who people forget he doesn't wear gloves. Yeah.
I love those guys. His white skin blends in with the seams of the football, so it's tough to see where he's putting it.
I would wear gloves just because if you drop the ball without gloves, everyone would be like, you're an idiot. Yeah.
Like, everyone's going to look at you and say, what kind of idiot wouldn't wear gloves? He's the gloveless guy. Right.
He's known as that.

He's also Jack Nicholson's grandson or something like that.

Really?

Yeah.

The golden bear?

Yeah.

I think.

Yeah.

No, the great white shark.

Oh, we fuck that up every time people get very upset.

Okay.

So Jaguars have quit.

Just circle that because whatever the line is, just bet against the Jaguars.

They've quit.

They've 100% quit. They actually, I think they play the Raiders next week.
Go against them. Quit.
Because the Raiders did not quit on John Grude. They're not going to quit on Grude.
They can't. They'll kill them.
Yeah. Yeah.
And Mark Davis will eat them. Titans Raiders.
Derrick Henry season. Yep.
We're a Derrick Henry podcast. Tractor Cito.
Tractor Cito. People need to be just, every time they see a Titans game, just be like, Derrick Henry season.
They're the hottest team in the NFL. It's crazy how good they have been the last, like, month.
Ryan Tannehill, 6-1 as a starter. Do you think Ryan Tannehill, Seeky question, PFT.
Promo code take, $10 off, Seeky question. Do you think Ryan Tannehill, 6-1 as a starter.
Do you think Ryan Tannehill, seek e-question, PFT, promo code TAKE, $10 off, seek e-question. Do you think Ryan Tannehill has started to buy some stuff with the money he's going to get from the Titans? I think they should franchise tag him, but as a safety after that hit that he laid on Hurst on the interception.
That was quite a rundown that he had. But, yeah, he is going to get very, very well paid.
I wouldn't give him a longterm contract. He already was well paid because he's a first round pick, but he's going to, but he's going to get a shitload of money and he got the fifth year option, right? Right.
So he's, he's made some money. He's lived in Florida, no state income tax.
Now he lives in Tennessee, no state income tax. Wow.
He's making a shitload of money. Yeah.
They're probably, if they're smart, they would franchise tag him. Yeah.
Because, like, with Ryan Tannehill, we wait for the next step. Now we're waiting for the other shoe.
Right. But he, I think, yeah, I think he goes out to dinner with his wife and he's like, yeah, you know what? Get two apps.
Yeah, you know. I'm six and one as a starter.
Lauren, tell you what, why don't you go ahead, you buy a second AR-15 to leave in the trunk of a rental car. Fucking do it.
You want another pair of super oversized brown boots for fall? My guest. Oh, yeah.
Lauren Tannehill, that's her name, right? Yes. She strikes me as a big Christian girl.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
She's just rolling around with pumpkin spice lattes in every cup holder in her giant SUV. Yeah, a lot of oversized sweaters and the gram is popping in Nashville in the fall.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, so Ryan Tannehill is now 6-1 as a starter.

She probably has like nine pairs of cowboy boots that she buys for every day of the week.

Yep, hats, jewelry all over the place.

Just like 16 necklaces of varying lengths.

She wears all at once.

Yes, exactly.

As a turtleneck of gold.

Yeah, you can hear her coming.

She's like a dog leash.

No pigeons are going to get caught by Lauren Tannehill, that's for sure. Those squirrels will hear her coming.
So, yeah, the Titans might win the AFC South. This is crazy.
Like we said, we'll do the reverse, but they play the Texans twice down the stretch, and they also have the Saints, which will be a tough game, but it is in Nashville. You've got two mike variable revenge games two mike variable revenge games like this is crazy derrick henry he hurt his uh hamstring didn't refuse to come out of the game had 103 yards in touchdown no one wants to tackle him in december he doesn't even practice during the week now which is that's good if you're the groundskeeper for the tit practice facility.
You don't have to worry about your turf getting chewed up by the tractor, Seto. And he is, you're right, it gets cold outside and you don't want to put your helmet on him.
You just, you want to run the other way. I think that this Texans game, this is a portal game for the Titans season.
I think if they beat the Texans on Sunday. I'm still not clear about the portal games.
It means that basically if you win that game, everything else just happens after that.

So if they win this game on Sunday against the Titans or the Texans, they're going to win the AFC South. Okay, if they win this game.
They're going to win the AFC South. But that would mean that if they win this game, they're also going to win their last game.
Yeah, because the Titans have the distinct feel of a team that fully believes they're not only good, but maybe even better than they are. They believe that they are the best team in the league, which if you can keep that rolling, is a dangerous thing.
They're delusional. They're delusional, but if you're delusional enough in the NFL, then you're actually good.
Correct. You just have to be crazy enough to believe that you don't suck.
Like Ryan Tannehill right now thinks he's a franchise quarterback. Bottle that.
Keep it going. That's kind of like us.
We are so delusional in our own abilities that as long as we keep thinking that we don't suck as much as we do, we're actually good. Correct.
We could all learn a lot about lying to ourselves um the nfl oh wow rea's on tv right now oh there's first friend that's shout out chicks in the office go listen to it right now great podcast let me interrupt you real quick because we talked about this before when we were writing the the chris berman stuff the titans wide receivers have some great names oh yeah so there's The best. So there's Kari Blazingame, Michael Pruitt, Anthony Ferkser, Jonu Smith, Tajay Sharp, Kalief Raymond.
And their best receiver is A.J. Brown, which is very normal.
I purposely didn't say his name. He had 150 yards.
The NFL has done an injustice to us as fans.

Do you know what I'm about to say?

There's many things. Hank has a lot of you.

Hank's taking a picture of the TV.

Hank's taking a picture of the TV.

Sick brag.

He's got a girlfriend, but she's on TV.

Relationship Lockwood.

The NFL has done us an injustice.

Everyone's calling you. What did you say? Relationship Lockwood.
Here's the injustice. The last game in the black hole is next Sunday.
It should have been flexed. It should have been flexed.
We should have had this on Saturday night. We should have had it where like everyone, a million crowd shots of Oakland.
First 20,000 people get a gorilla suit. Oh, we should have had beer where like everyone a million crowd shots of oakland first 20 000 people get a gorilla suit oh we should have had beer bongs out of mannequins we should have had people smoking weed there should have had the time that uh remember when when marshawn lynch lit a blunt from al davis's forever flame or whatever the eternal flame we need that again we need them like that happened that was unbelievable that was unbelievable they got to storm the field yes if they stormed the field in their last game they're taking the goalposts with them we need everything we need to you know people cheering we need a chant like one more season or you know mark davis needs to get in his all-white suit and roll around and get grass stains.
And John Gruden needs to hug everyone.

And they need to take seats out. Even though the A's still play there, just rip the place.
They would just burn it to the ground. I need all of that.
And it's going to be a 4-0-5 game against the Jaguars that's just lost in history. But if they win, which they should win, then it will be a nice celebration after.
I guarantee you there will be multiple coffee cans worth of ashes from deceased raiders fans relatives they get spread all around the field and still alive ones too because there's a lot of raiders fans i feel like the raiders like lead the league in amputees that they do beer bongs out of their you know false legs and so they probably were like oh well i actually cut my leg off so I could put my ashes onto the field. I'm still alive.
Yeah, they cut their leg off and then they burn it in Big Al's flame. Right, right.
And they're like, here we go. So it's too late, but I just want to say it.
I want my feelings to be said out loud that this is a travesty that we don't get one final night game in Oakland in prime time for the nation to watch and soak in. Like they should have, they should have made this the, the, the random Saturday game, Saturday night game in December and let us just have it and let us fucking bask either that or give us like a second Monday night football game.
The late one. Yeah.
So the one that happens from like 1130 until 130. Or have the Jaguars and Raiders.
Get Sergio a dip out there for it. Have the Jaguars and Raiders play Monday Night Football week 17.
Because, you know, they don't have Monday Night Football, but those two teams aren't going to playoffs. Right.
That's the day where every coach gets fired. Right.
So who knows what's going to go down. Fuck.
Why is Ria running i didn't mean to say yeah wow shit yeah that's a nice damn it you're gonna say it's a nice change of pace i saw the look in your eye but she actually is like driving the train that was that's not what that's what you meant i'm sorry hank i think she looks great i'm sorry you you're watching when I'm watching this. I said the wrong thing, but you know what I meant.
Hank is staring at us right now. She was driving a train.
Yep, she was. Hank, let's tell you what.
Let's move on. We'll cut that part.
Get into something to make you feel better. Let's talk about the Patriots.
Hank? Let's talk about it. The refs? The refs fucked us.
The Patriots still did not look good at all. I said it would depend how they lost, whether or not the panic button would be pulled out.
I think they fought hard in that game. They could have won if the refs didn't fuck them over like seven different times.
They probably would have won, but the panic button has still, it's probably moved closer than it was a week ago. Okay.
So it is now inside your house. It was sitting on the porch.
It's inside your house. It didn't really change anything for the standings.
This is one of those weird games too, where no one wants to hear Patriots fans complain about the refs, but objectively speaking, they were completely fucked over by the refs. Right.
Then Nikhil Harry touched down. What was anyone looking at? Yeah, he was very clearly in balance.
You're right. Three touchdowns on one drive that they took away.
Crazy. It doesn't slap the same when it's not like the Lions fans complaining about getting robbed by the officials again.
Right, but it was... Objectively speaking, they got fucked.
Yes, it was bad. It's also a perfect example of how do we not have Sky Judge? Because the reason why they didn't have any challenges left, but the whole Saints thing in the NFC Championship game and the rule that has come out of it is that we don't ever want games decided by poor refereeing.
And somehow, we have not problem it's actually become worse it's become worse it's funny how when you try to write rules on top of rules on top of rules it's easy to actually have all those rules fuck everything up when just chaos is a little bit better if there were no rules that weren't getting screwed up you'd at least understand and be like this is you know this is the nfl this is wild i love it but yeah so sky judge so sky judge could easily have fixed that touchdown the the refs blew the whistle too soon on the hairy touchdown yeah and they blew the whistle too soon on the fumble recovery touchdown yes just like if you're a ref just never blow your whistle yeah. Nothing productive happens after you blow a whistle in an NFL game.

And actually a lot of things productive happen because we all get to just like cheer for plays and think they happen.

And then also there's nothing more exhilarating than having that hope that maybe there's a review or a flag

when a play goes bad for you.

When you're like, oh, no, wait, there's got to be a flag.

There's got to be a flag. There's got to be a review.
Something's got to change. Yeah.
And then to not have that is the worst feeling in the world. So, Hank, are you worried that your team runs a gimmick offense now? No.
The only time you get big plays is if you do something totally like a flea flicker or some kind of weird gadgetry. Gadgetry in general is a calling card of the Patriots offense right now.
All I know is that it's hard to beat teams twice in the same season, and the Patriots have lost to the Chiefs, Ravens, Texans, pretty much anyone they would play in the playoffs. Yeah, I like that.
If you lose to the Bills, you're basically set. You're basically free and clear in the ANC playoff picture.
That's a good I like that Hank that is a really good really smart um shout out to the equipment managers on Kansas City yeah losing the bags this is why you never check bags this is why you always take your bags with you to the edge of the jetway and you make the flight attendant steal them out of your hand and say sir uh that giant like 70 pound bikini that you're carrying with you isn't going to fit on this 12-seater flight. And there's that moment where you have to give it up and you just lock eyes with the person.
You're like, no, no, no. This bag is going to be safe, right? It's going to be on this plane, correct? And they just didn't have anyone do that.
So apparently they switched planes at some point, which I didn't know that NFL teams were flying southwest where they had to get to a city and then get on a new plane. But the equipment manager, I guess, didn't go down to make sure that the bags were offloaded and reloaded properly.
So they ended up in New Jersey, and then they had to drive them to Foxborough. Is that what happened? Yeah, and it's crazy because they actually would have had to forfeit, which I didn't was a thing but they would have had to forfeit so if if patriots fans had banded together and blocked down i-95 today the bags would have never gotten there and the game wouldn't have been in the hands of the officials wow patriots fans could have won this game just steal all the bags yeah this happened to to the bulls in the 90s michael jordan wore number 12 one game because they just didn't have jerseys.
Really? Yeah. So are we saying that everyone should be pro-stealing bags of your opponent's teams? Oh, if you see an equipment truck, if you see a shitload of bags with your opponent's logo on them and you don't steal them, you're a bad fan.
Yeah. Yes, someone stole his jersey and he had to wear a number 12.
There's a picture of it. It's pretty fucking funny.
So someone stole just his jersey and he had to wear number 12. Someone's going to steal Eli Manning's jerseys, and they're going to end up on sale on eBay in three weeks.
His name's going to be Archie. His name's Archie Manning.
He lives in New Orleans, Louisiana. That's a little fun trivia for you if you ever want to impress someone.
What numbers has Michael Jordan worn? 45, 23. Well, that's it, Big Cat.
Oh, and 12. There you go.
You heard Kenny Albert say it one time. It's against the Magic.
I have a quick – oh, shout out to the Chiefs, actually. They did the anti-Tomlin where they were like, hey, remember when we played the Patriots in the AFC Championship game and we sat back and let them just cut us to death, in the words of Trent Dilfer, death by a thousand cuts? They actually blitzed this time, so way to learn.
Good job. Also, they snapped the ball directly to Travis Kelsey on that goal line touchdown, and you just know when you snap the ball directly to Kelsey, you see the little spark in his eye that he's ready to do some dumbass shit.
He's ready to just throw fundamentals out the window, but he got the touchdown this time. Did you see someone found, and it was the same formation

that the Ravens and Texans have both run against the Patriots

in the last month?

No, I haven't seen it yet.

Copycat league.

So this is where Belichick puts this on tape,

lets everyone copy it and think that they've got the key,

and then the playoffs, he switches up entirely.

I got a blind resume for you.

You ready for it?

Yeah. Okay.
Tell me which quarterback. Georgia.
Georgia Georgia's the best tell me which quarterback you want uh we're talking about because you know the Patriots have have been struggling and offensively smoke and mirrors 26 for 40 283 yards one TD one interception 23 for 31 244 yards three touchdown, one interception. 23 for 31, 244 yards, three touchdowns, one interception.
28 for 50, 292 yards, one touchdown, one interception. Who would you take? This is like one of those things where you're like, oh, this one leader during World War II drank 12- I'm just asking you.
Who would you take? Just answer it honestly. The second one is clearly the best.
Oh, okay. No.
First one was Patrick Mahomes. Second one was Mitch Trubisky.
Third one was Deshaun Watson. That's your week 14 stats.
Okay. Make sure you make that on a blind resume for me so I can tweet it out.
Get everyone upset. Just saying, as of what have you done for me lately, League? In their last one games, Mitch Trubisky is clearly the superior quarterback.
This is the bargaining part of denial that you're seeing. All right.
Last game before we get to the rest of the show. Steelers Cardinals.
I love duck. I fucking love duck.
He's what are we going to do? What do you mean? We're going to root for duck against Josh Allen. No, I don't know.
I don't know. I didn't know you were talking about that.
Yeah, Sunday night. Sunday night football.
You know what? Let's get the dual jerseys. Yeah, we'll take you over, and we'll get the split jerseys.
We'll get jerseys, actually. We love our children the same.
Is he more like jerseys to get? All right, we're going to get on that. So he was, Duck's stat line was fucking awesome.
16 for 19. Yeah.
152 yeah 152 yards he's that's how you get it done i fucking love duck and guess what this is like this is old school stealers their defense is so goddamn good and they just need duck to do duck looking at him sitting next to rudolph on the bench they were sitting right next to each other for most of the game when uh their their defense of the field. It makes me wonder what Mike Tomlin ever saw in Mason Rudolph.
I know. Doesn't it? I know.
Like just their body language. Duck is having a good time.
He's smiling. His teammates are coming over saying hi to him.
Mason Rudolph, his body language is basically Braille. Yep.
He just sits there staring into the sky like the clouds are going to make a 3D magic eye puzzle appear for him. It's crazy.
It's crazy. Isn't it weird? Yes.
How long of a leash Mason got? It's just because he went to a big school and, you know, he was a higher draft pick. Duck? Fucks.
Duck is, you can win with Duck if your defense is elite. He doesn't kill you.
No, he does not kill you. In the words of Mike Tomlin, Duck has not killed us yet.
Mike Tomlin almost got his punter killed. Yeah, he did.
Well, I don't know. There's no way he called that.
Yeah, so he did. He did? He said it? This is how we have to be very careful with how closely we take Mike Tomlin and his words now.
Right. Knowing everything that was probably going on with Antonio Brown and that whole situation that never got out while he was there.

He's the ultimate players coach.

He's the ultimate players coach. So he said after the game,

he's like,

that was a look that we had identified when they had six people lined up and

then they were double covering on the outside of the gunners,

that that was a green light for a punter to go ahead and run with it.

And then they switched formations at the last second and they ended up

sending their punter directly in,

like it was the charge of the light brigade, just like running directly at somebody that Sean tailored him. Yeah.
Lay them out like Brian Morgan. I think that I see.
I think he's just covering for him because it looked to me like the punter. It was a low snap and he just freaked out.
It was like, I got to run this. So that was baffling because the Steelers' defense was unbelievable all game.
And Kyler Murray, all-time bad interception. I also don't really understand.
Like Cliff Kingsbury, it feels like keeps calling plays that would work in the Big 12 when Kyler Murray was faster than everyone on the field, but he's not faster than everyone on the field anymore. I have noticed that Cliff is starting to run a lot of plays that have three running backs in the backfield, and then Kyler.
He's flirting with going to single wing. That's what he's doing.
He's putting it out there on tape like, eventually I'm just going to run a single wing offense every single play. And it's like Kyler Murray trying to get to the edge, and like, oh, actually, the defensive lineman usually runs like a 4-5-2.
So it's like, who cares? He can is almost as fast as so i don't really get it it's it's weird i've seen flashes where i i feel like kyle murray is better than what his coaching has done for him so far this year i think yeah it's it couldn't be any worse no and they they had that frisky team for a while and it feels like they've lost their frisk yeah they stopped scoring points that's that's when they really lost it was when they stopped being good yeah when they stopped being fun um one guy to circle teontay johnson out of toledo maction he is a classic how the hell do the steelers just somehow get awesome wide receivers like not in the first round he was a third round pick he returned to punt he also had that touchdown he's going to be in like two years you're going to be a pro bowler you'll be like wait they have that again how'd that happen you know what's weird when he was returning that that kick and he was running up that sideline when you go back and you think of james harrison returning that pick in the super bowl yeah they they look like they were running about the same speed. That's what a freak James Harrison was athletically.
He was. But you know what I mean about Steelers wide receivers.
They grow on trees. They always got another guy.
They always have another guy. There's only one guy that they've completely whiffed on, I think, and that's Lima Swede.
And I swore he was going to be good at Texas. Well, Martavis Bryant smoked a little too much weed.
That's true. Just a little.
But he was there. You could see it there.
His blood alcohol content was a squiragami. It was there.
You could see it. All right.
Before we finish up the show with some who's back and a couple football guys in college football, quick couple of ads we got. You know that one sandwich you always crave? The one that just hits every single time? For me, it's a simple yet perfect combination.
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Let's do a little who's back, and then we'll talk some college football playoff, and we'll send you on your way. Hank, let's pump it up, Hank.
How you feeling? I'm feeling actually great because of my who's back. I have a few, but my first one is my boy Gordy.
Gordy Hayward. Got it, Hayward.
I saw that. His broken hand.
They said it was going to be after Christmas when it first came out there, even later potentially. He's already back, fully healed.
They said he's going to be cleared to play tonight against the Magic. So quick recovery.
Celtics were doing fine without him, but it's good to get him back this early. I don't want to put a bummer on good news.
The Lakers are really good. Yeah.
We'll worry about that in the spring. Okay.
All right. How would you be feeling right now? 100% peaking too early.
Yeah. Way too early.
But the nice thing about peaking too early is with the new format that the NBA is going to adapt,

there's going to be a mid-season tournament, right? Yeah, they'll win that.

So it rewards you for peaking too early.

I still don't really understand.

No, I don't either.

I don't think it's ever going to happen.

It has more tournaments.

It hasn't been serious enough for me to even look at it.

That's where I'm at with that tournament thing.

I couldn't tell you what the actual design is because I'm not ready to even take it seriously.

I think it's going to happen.

Okay, great.

I don't tell you what the actual design is because I'm not ready to even take it seriously. I think it's going to happen.
Okay, great. When it happens, I will look into it.
It's bizarre. Not a moment sooner.
It's bizarre. It's like Adam Silver spent a long night on Twitter and came up with this idea.
It's one of those things where the ratings are bad and they're going to do it to make them better, but it's either going to make them better or way worse and then they're going to be super fucked. Yeah.
Did we miss the Warriors yet? No. Okay.
That's the – like, everyone keeps talking, readings, readings, readings. I mean, the Lakers – Yeah, we don't have a historically good team anymore.
Well, in theory, as of right now, the Lakers are doing pretty well. But, again – Fuck them.
My other who's back is the Lane Train. Yes.
Lane Kiffin, head coach Ole so chubby He got off the private jet There was people there to greet him He was holding babies People were yelling at him to get a burner phone Did you see his son? His son was so Just exactly what I expect out of the Kiffin family I don't know who don't know who I, I don't know if it was his wife.

I,

I don't know.

I know probably not.

Okay. So anyway,

his,

someone was taking a video of Lane's son,

probably like eight years old and was like,

guess what?

He's like,

what?

Like your dad is going to be the head football coach of Ole Miss.

And he just goes,

yes.

And then gets in the car and just starts chanting, SEC! SEC! Just like the cockiest little kid. I loved it.
I loved it. His kids are like the sports equivalent of military brats.
Yeah, it's everywhere. Your dad is going to be the coach of Ole Miss.
He's like, well, for how long? Two years? Now they... Three years? Really the difference is now they know when they get to to run around on the field and throw passes for an hour after the game it's a full bowl the stadium and not just like half yeah that's the difference it's it's amazing the career that lane kiffin has had so far they probably have he's coaching like every conference he's coached coaching the nfl he was a head coach in the nfl got fired via via PowerPoint by Al Davis.
Got left on a tarmac. Probably twice.
He's probably been left on a couple of tarmacs before. He's going to end up being the coach of Alabama.
So this is... It feels like this is his second to last spot.
You know? This is very obviously another. Right.
For Lane. He's not going to be at Ole Miss.
He likes being in young misses more than Ole Miss. But he's very clearly looking at something else, and I think that something else is Alabama.
Well, he needs to have like a Pete Carroll. No, he's not going to have a Pete Carroll USC run, but he needs to have the run where he has enough cheating that he wins, but not enough that it can stick to him, and then he can leave right before all the shit hits the fan.
Yeah. That's what he needs.
It's always like, oh, yeah, there was a lot of cheating there, but he never has that big splash of Lane Kiffin, like Ole Miss suspended, Lane Kiffin missing half the year, that kind of cheating. Yeah, he needs a good two-year run.
Maybe they go to some nice bowl games, and then he jets for Alabama. And then they never get to go to a bowl game again.
And I'm sure that Alabama will not. He's going to screw up the Alabama job when he gets there big time.
He'll get ripped. Just squatting on this take, he is going to fuck up that program massively when he gets to Tuscaloosa.
Big time. My third who's back was Mr.
Bean. I thought I saw a tweet earlier that he was making a comeback.
But I just researched his Twitter and I didn't see anything there. You can't do that to me, Hank.
You can't tell me that Mr. Bean's back and then pull it away from you.
Well, I'm telling you that I saw it, but on my further research and my second guess, I'm not finding anything, but I have a feeling that I'm right. So be on the lookout.
It was like Mr. Bean is back.
Full announcement coming tomorrow. So if you see an announcement somewhere today, credit me.
Mr. Bean is like Charlie Chaplin for the 21st century, except less funny.

And he gets his head stuck in turkeys instead of tiny laughs.

Very funny.

Mr. Bean, for like a couple years there, that was like my entire relationship with my dad

was living through Mr. Bean and laughing at that.

Just watching the turkey.

Yeah, watching it together, being like, that's fucking funny.

So, Mr. Bean, shout out Mr.
Bean.

My Who's Back of the Week is Jesus.

Jesus is back.

Again.

This time in video game form.

Oh.

So, Christianity's been, I guess, having trouble recruiting kids to go to church with modern technology.

They're making a Jesus Christ video game.

Like a life simulator.

Hmm.

So, it looks pretty sweet.

I'm going to sign up for a Twitch account, probably, and get into some live streaming with this game because it feels like it's right up my alley. Okay.
Commercial's electric. The commercial is great.
Have you seen the commercial? I have not. It's like a POV game.
As Jesus? Yes. Where do you respawn if you die and you're Jesus in a video game? Well, the end of it, the teaser at the end of the thing was like him, you know, for his POV of some famous, you know,'s history and in the very end like the the teaser like the oh shit it's like it goes dark and then it his eyes open he's in the cave and he opens up the cave yeah press x to remove the rock oh wow yeah that's crazy so you're you're hanging out with prostitutes you're avoiding the cops it's uh grand theft auto middle east i'm gonna play it i'm very excited and i will stream I will sign up for a Twitch account, whatever Twitch is.
I'm going to play it. I'm very excited and I will stream it.

I will sign up for a Twitch account.

Whatever Twitch is.

I'll,

I'll figure it out.

I'll make it happen.

My other who's back of the week is Patrick Reed.

Really?

He got disqualified from tournament or I think he was disqualified.

Stealing someone's wallet.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

The viewers stealing,

stealing all the soul out of the game of golf because he very clearly intentionally cheated. His ball was in a bunker, and he took two practice swings.
And when he did it, you're not allowed to ground your club. When he did his practice swings, he pulled back in his backswing and brushed sand away from where his ball was to very obviously just get a much easier shot at his ball.
So Patrick Reed, the bad boy of golf, is back. We're Patrick Reed, guys.
Love it. By the way, speaking of stealing things, we totally forgot to mention Gottlieb's new fire tweet.
The New England with D capitalized Patriots and no O in Patriots. It had four likes when we got our hands on it.
No O. So you get it? I got got it.
Like, no offense. But this time he added the D.
Right. So, it's like the D, they have D, but they don't.
Oh, this is funny. It's a close-up of Patrick Reed improving his line.
It's a dog digging in sand. That is pretty funny.
So, wait. Go back to the Patriots suite because I'm having trouble tracking that.
So, yeah, yeah, there's the D is capitalized because they have a D they have a D no O because they don't have an O. So he's got a D and no O.
Yeah. Sounds like Doug's marriage.
This is, this is the I'm watching this Patrick Reed. This is funny.
I love this move. It's so plain.
Yeah. It's great.
Isn't it? He looks like that's something that I would do on a golf course yeah he's a shitty ceo who's like a hundred golfer who says he he shoots an 86 and he goes out there and cheats and no one will say anything because he's their boss yeah he's that guy uh okay my who's back two of them dr pepper challenge is back well it's not any anymore but it was this weekend it's so crazy to me it dawned on me this weekend it's so crazy that that is like just part of american society like it's an americana thing like dr peppa challenge every year we get we get to the championship games and then kids do chess passes and people get mad on twitter i've gotten mad before someone won this week doing regular passes they just All they need to do is make it higher. You can't chest pass high.
Well, it's also kind of a shovel pass, isn't it? Yeah, or just make it farther away. But you don't want to see misses.
You want to see misses. There was that one guy who missed.
I'm actually going to tweet that tomorrow night when Eli starts going real bad. Jake Fromm, yes.
Live look at Jake Fromm. Yeah, so yeah, that will be good.
Just hold on to that one for the future. I was talking to my friends when we were watching that on Saturday.
And it is crazy that- We weren't with you on Saturday. Yeah, you weren't with me.
I said friends. Oh, fuck.
Roasted. Yikes.
So it is crazy that a soda company is paying $100,000. It's paying for people to be able to go.
Correct. It's like we're going to take money that we've made off of people that probably drink a shitload of soda.
Kids that drink a lot of soda, and then we're going to give that money to kids to be able to go to school, to be able to work in marketing for companies like ours in the future. It'll blow your mind, and then they'll use that money to give a scholarship.
Not to get political. Permission to go there.
Granted. If you are running against giving free tuition to all of America, you just need to be like, hey, we won't have the Dr.
Pepper challenge anymore. Yeah.
You can't do that. You can't do that.
Don't take it away from me. You can't take that away.
Or if you're running. Imagine that world.
If you're running to say my college plan is everybody in America gets to compete in the Dr. Pepper Challenge.
Yeah. You get free tuition if you can chess pass into an oversized soda.
I'm going to have nine referees surrounding you on a football field. And if you can make more than 60% of your chess passes, then guess what?

You're going to go to Rutgers.

I think we just solved it.

I think we just solved it.

All right, my other who's back is bowl games.

The bowl game schedule is out.

40 bowls.

40 bowls.

And I'm just going to throw this out there for everyone at home.

The jingle bells, ESPN, every single commercial.

The best.

You don't like it? It just gets repetitive. That's the best.
That's when you know you're deep in the shit. You're watching San Diego State play Toledo on Christmas Eve.
That's when you know you're in there. I love the games that they cut to when there's maybe 20 people in the stands.
yes it's like how does this happen yes so i looked at the bowl season schedule and we have some great they've done this is my favorite bowl season schedule we've ever had because we have friday bowls to start it off which usually never happens it's usually that like five saturdays yeah we have two Friday bowls, one in the middle of the day, bonus weekday bowl. And then when I've always preached that they need to give us something to wean off of bowl season.
Well, guess what? This year we have some wean off bowls. So January 1st is like the big bowl game day.
Shout out to the Badgers during the Rose Bowl. No big deal.
January 2nd,'s a day game Who's playing? Boston College in Cincinnati And then at night It's Indiana, Tennessee Wienoff Bowl That's pretty good And then Friday There's another day game Another Wienoff Bowl I like that there's a Wienoff Bowl That sounds like it could mean something Because it's big schools Yeah Ohio, Nevada on Friday And then PFT hold on we have even another ween off bowl Monday January 6th when the first Monday that doesn't have Monday Night Football uh ULL versus Miami of Ohio oh I love an honor yeah I love that so shout out to the bowl selection whoever scheduled this we finally have a good amount of wean-off bowls where it's not going to be

January 1st and then boom,

cold turkey. We have some like

shitty-ass bowls that we can

slowly get, you know,

get dry for them. What's the most

random sponsor that we have this year? Because I always

like the ones that are like the

United Pool Cleaning Associates

presents the Cactus Bowl.

The Monday, the January 6th Bowl is the Lending Tree Bowl.

Many of you know it.

It's one of the best bowls out there.

Oh, we have the VRBO Bowl.

Okay, that sounds high tech.

Yeah, VRBO.

Oh, that's actually the Citrus Bowl.

Damn, Alabama and Michigan.

I can't wait to see how Alabama's not going to have anyone playing that.

Ooh, the Satellite Camp Bowl.

Yeah, Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl.

Okay, yeah. These are new sponsors here so the sun bowl obviously been around forever um yeah i'm just excited for bowl season i fucking love bowl season do we have like the sarsaparilla uh backhoe bowl or whatever that one is uh we have the sophie uh hawaii bowl so i don't know what that is it It would be the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl.

Yeah, I love that one.

Yeah.

There's some great bowls out there.

The Cherubundi Boca Raton.

The Boca Raton finally got it.

The Wet the Beak?

Yeah, they finally got it.

It's a yogurt sponsorship.

That's what Cherubundi is, right?

No, that's Chobani.

Oh, close enough.

I bet Cherubundi is also a yogurt company. That was...

I should get credit for that.

Cherubundi. What is Cherub credit for that cherubundi what is cherubundi cherubundi is uh drink private company which sells a functional branded cherry juice beverages that was a free ad uh it's just cherry juice that's like when that that's arm came out that's yeah where'd you get all these cher Hmm.
Okay. All right.
Let's wrap up the show. College football playoff.
They did the right thing. Feels like this is the least controversial Final Four that we've had.
Do you want to talk about Wisconsin at all? Yeah, sure. We're going to the Rose Bowl.
Penn State fans are big mad online. Ha ha.
I'm laughing at you. Yeah, and Saturday night was a great first half.
As you know, I'm a father, so I get very tired and have to go to bed early. So whatever happened in the second half, just.
You guys are just like. You didn't get your hopes up, though.
So you said on Friday, you said all week, there's no way Wisconsin wins. You gave them that game before it even started.
Yeah. And you guys are like the Packers.
I did. You're like the Packers.
You just don't play well in the fourth quarter. I did a Periscope.
Everyone watched Stella take a shit. I was on the street.
I was outside. I gave my heart away.
I thought that the batters were going to win that game. I thought it was going to be one of those games't so whatever score going into the end of the half was like all right it was here boy was i feeling it and by the way it was it was i'm still in protest so it's not a big deal like there was a blatant false start that the ohio state buckeyes scored a touchdown on and the dr pepper challenge makes the halftime extra long so it shouldn't even count Right even count.
It's a totally different game. That's why you fell asleep was because the halftime was so long.
It's 1-1. It's 1-1, the Big Ten championship.
I mean, you can just settle for being co-Big Ten West champions along with Minnesota. No, we're co-Big Ten champions with Ohio State, and we're co-Big Ten West champs with Minnesota.
You're co-co. Yeah, we have two co's.
All right, that's nice. That's one.
Yeah, but we're in the Rose Bowl. You ever heard of it? The granddaddy of them all? Maybe the most prestigious bowl? Better than being in the college football player? How didn't Penn State get in? Well, Penn State fans are going to be very mad because they obviously keep mentioning the Illinois loss the Badgers had, which makes sense.
But if you look at common opponents, they lost to Ohio State, state we lost ohio state we kicked the shit out of minnesota they lost to minnesota i think that's fair i don't think you should be we were ranked higher than them before this weekend i don't think you should be penalized for losing in a conference championship game one of my favorite things about about rose bowl season is all the twitter avatars that get changed and your Twitter names that get changed. People add the Rose emoji in.

So for like a month and a half,

everyone's going to think that Wisconsin is filled

with like democratic socialists.

Communists, yeah.

So I have a Big Ten

versus the world shirt

that I dropped on Saturday night.

If you want to,

Penn State fans,

why don't you stop being mad at me

and start getting together?

Let's all come together

and try to dominate bowl season

so that we can dunk on people with lice. So you think Ohio State's gonna beat Clemson? No, I don't.
I actually think it's gonna be LSU-Clemson in the final. PFT.
I think it's gonna be LSU- also Clemson in the final. We agree.
I might take a loan out and bet on Ohio State. I have a heavy future on them.
I got a future on LSU. I feel them to feel pretty good about.
I think that Clemson, if you saw Dabo, how he had the boys all loosened up when they were making the Final Four announcement today, he had them all eating pizza. They should let us watch the first drive of that game before Betts go live.
Yeah, Betts go live. I loved, and we're obviously very biased, but I loved the way that Coach O dealt with the entire selection process.
Who play anybody. Anybody, anywhere.
It was old Pat Hill, Fresno State. If you're a gambler, you know that was the best.
They would always schedule just ridiculous opponents. But everyone else, like Dabo, and when Saban's in the mix, and when Urban was in the mix, they do the thing where they pump up themselves.
They pump up their opponents. Like, oh, man, playing Georgia is the toughest thing in the world.
Kojo was just like, we'll play anyone, anywhere. Just tell us where to go.
We'll be there. Give us a feel.
It was refreshing. Just give me an address.
That's all Kojo needs. He needs a week to prepare.
He needs a smothered pork chop and collard green dinner waiting for his boys the night before and an address And an address. That's all he needs.
He'll show up and he will kick your ass. And Joe Burrow is forget all the on field like how good he is and forget all the like measurables and how he's going to probably be the number one pick.
His just body language makes me want to go to war for him. It's crazy.
I have not seen someone who has a natural leader ability that just oozes off of him. He threw a touchdown, and on his follow-through, his follow-through took him to the sideline, and he just kept running to the sideline.
It's crazy. It was like the cockiest thing I've ever seen.
But it was completely within. It was just he was following his follow-through.
Right, exactly. He has that look where you're like, tell me who to fight.
I got it. You know who he is.
He's Dele. He's Dele with more talent.
I don't know about that. No, I'm dead serious.
That's his idol in life is Matthew Delevedova. But he's.
I don't feel the same things I feel for Matthew Delevedova that I feel for Joe Burrow. When I look at Joe Burrow, I'm like, I want to go to Warped.
Yeah, so for me, it's like if you took

Deli's DNA. For you, but...

In Jurassic Park, you had to fill in the gaps

of the DNA. If you took Deli's

DNA and filled in all the gaps

with Gardner Minshew,

then you get Joe Burrow. But like, for

the general public...

It's probably different. Insert your own...

But I think Joe Burrow has that for

everyone who watches Joe Burrow.

They're like, holy shit, that guy has like some kind of feel to him.

That's like he just has that look to him.

You know, the way he carries himself is something that everyone can see.

Yeah.

You're describing how I feel about Gordon Minshew right now about Joe Burrow.

Right.

But I think what I'm saying is I think most people could see that in Joe Burrow.

Whereas I don't know if everyone sees in Delhi.

I think most of us do.

You want to know? feel about gordon minchie right now about joe burrow right but i think what what i'm saying is i think most people could see that in joe burrow whereas i don't know if everyone sees in delhi i think i think most of us do he won a championship dude he brought lebron a championship that's true he did bring lebron on his shoulders um only other bold note that i had is uh whoever scheduled all the bowls shout out having pj fleck play in tampa bay so he's literally just a giant boat right just he's gonna look he's gonna keep looking at that thing at the Raymond James Stadium take that boat down like he's gonna be so distracted I bet you it's just gonna be filled with Minnesota fans yeah they're gonna bring their oars up there yes and he's gonna try to walk that boat out of the stadium he's gonna try to cut the sails off of it and take them back to Minnesota. And those are my new oars.
Sail the boat. I have one question for you, one random hypothetical, because it's just a thought that entered my brain.
It probably won't happen. Over under .5 NFL teams that tried to make a call to Coach O this offseason.
None. Zero.
Yeah. And i think it's not because he's not a very good coach and he's the turnaround has been incredible they just know they just know they know better this is the job that like him talking about in-state recruiting and we do quickly football guy of the week you can vote for so joe burrow was one he uh smacked lost his phone or smashed his phone and his parents wanted to buy buy him a new one.
He said, nope, got a game to play. Don't need a phone.
Got a little Tom Brady in him. Yeah.
C.D. Lamb had the nobody safe eye black.
He's awesome. He's electric.
And a great name, too. I mean, when he touches the ball, it's just insane.
And if it weren't for Jalen Hurts being not a good quarterback, I can't wait to see CeeDee Lamb with a real quarterback. Ravens, Marcus Peters crushing the beer.
We talked about that. And then finally, we'll finish with this.
Coach O, he said that he has 18 to 20 in-state homes he's going to recruit this week. So that's 18 to 20 gumbos.

And I can't imagine how awesome Coach O,

like he already would be awesome in recruiting,

but recruiting off an SEC championship and a number one seed,

fuck, that's electric.

Yeah, it's incredible.

So you know how they say if you're president,

you're not supposed to tell anybody what your favorite food is because for the rest of your life, that's all you'll ever be served when you show up to any sort of event or occasion. With Coach O, he's made it known that his favorite food is gumbo.
Right. And he does not care that that's all he's going to get fed.
That's like fuel for him. Yeah.
It's like gumbo and monster energy drink. He's probably going to run in between each recruits.
Like, hey, we're going to just like, hey, actually, Coach, it's 20 miles. Like, miles like i don't care i'm gonna get my gumbo appetite back up that's right yeah let it go i think he was i think he's even making some in-house stops for uh for recruiting while he was in atlanta yes no he was yeah yeah no that's that is the sick part of college football is that these guys we've made the jokes before about saving only getting to celebrate for like 10 minutes but it's the truth they win a game and when's the best time to go convince a recruit it's right after winning a big game also i'm pretty sure that that's what a celebration looks like for coach o is just to sit with a football player and eat gumbo and take a picture with the with the louisiana l yeah that's what he'd be doing anyways and tweeting hold that tiger huh that is the is the best celebration you could possibly have.
Are we ready to take credit for Joe Burrow at LSU? Sure. Because remember, when we were in Baton Rouge, when we interviewed Coach O for the very first time, he told us afterwards, he had a picture taken with us, and they sent it to Burrow's brother, right? Right.
Because he was like, I hear that this guy that we're having on campus is a big fan of yours, or his brother's a big fan of yours. And so they sent it.
burrow's brother right right because he was like i hear that this guy that we're having on campus is a big fan of yours or his brother's a big fan of yours and so they sent it then he shows up on campus the next day coach ho tweets out hold that tiger hold that tiger i'm going to connect several dots and make several leaps of logic and say that we were instrumental in getting joe burrow just want to say it just want to say lsu fans if you were looking for the guy behind the guy behind the guy behind the guy to say thank you, it's us. Yeah, and we will hopefully be at the national title game and you can say thank you with many, many drinks because it's not a show night.
And I want to take a fan boat back from New Orleans up the Mississippi River to Baton Rouge after the game's over. This is San Diego to LA rollerblading part do.
I was game to

do it. You guys were the only ones that didn't want to get the blades

going. We would have died.

We would have died.

Rollerblading like 100. I don't even know how many miles

it is. If I got to die, just bury me

off the I-10.

Going up the Pacific Coast Highway.

You don't want to be off the I-10. Going up the Pacific Coast Highway.

Right off Palisades. No, PCH.

Not during rush hour.

No, not at all.

I mean, that's why we're on the boardwalk with our blades.

Probably be faster to get there.

See everyone on Wednesday.

Love you guys.

Bye. Another day to find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Take on me Take me on I'll be gone In a day of change Needless to say I'm all descended same But I'll be so run away Slowly learn that life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me on I'll be gone.

I'll be gone.

With a red red hand.

Rub you in his arms.

Tell you that you've been a good boy.

Thank you. He'll rub you in his arms, tell you that you've been a good boy.