The Bears Are Back, Lindsey Vonn, CFB With Tom Fornelli + Week 14 Preview

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer. Our good friend Tom Fernelli to talk about the College Football Championship Saturday, how the playoffs are going to shake out, maybe a lock, a little locky lock for you.
We also have Lindsey Vonn, Olympic gold medalist, skier, on the next chapter of her life. We have a full NFL Week 14 preview.
We have Fyre Fest. We have Fantasy Fuck Boys.
It's a full-on Friday show. What did you say, Hank? I also have a pick for Leroy.
Oh, Leroy. Can you give us a hint? Leroy.
I can. A hint would be...
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Today is Friday, December 6th.

And the Bears are back.

Congratulations.

I was so happy.

The Bears are back.

Watching Big Cat watch this game is very exciting for me because you're lighting up like a Christmas tree, like a beautiful Frazier fur. Oh, so much pain and angst from this season.
Finally, the 2018 Bears have entered the chat. That was Mitch Trubisky is playing with confidence.
That Detroit game, I'm telling you, and I know everyone's like, oh, it's Detroit, oh, it's the Cowboys. Their defense stinks too.
Mitch is, I'm not going to go so far as to look into the future, but what I'm going to say about here and now, when he's playing with confidence, different guy. Even his interception was good because he pinned him at the one.
Yeah, and we got the ball right back and then scored. His confidence, his decision-making, Matt Nagy, it's a chicken and egg.
Matt Nagy's play calling has been phenomenal in the last two games. The defense is flying around the field.
Akeem Hicks is coming back next week. I'm starting to get feelings.
I'm happy for once that I actually let myself fall for the Bears. Before this game, you guys heard me all week.
I was talking about it. I was like, I love the Bears on Thursday night.
I love the Bears on Thursday night. I think they're going to win, and I think that it's going to be, you know, the Packers next week is going to be the biggest game of the season, and they didn't let me down.
Sometimes it's good to let your guard down a little bit. They didn't let me down.
Expose yourself emotionally. Once in a while, the universe will give you a little treat.
So I was glad see it and i must admit i i was invested as well i bet on the bears and the fact that the cowboys lost astronomically increases the redskins chances of winning the nfc east oh really seven and nine from i think 0.5 to 0.9 wow so we're still in this huge we are in the hunt officially wonder what the Bears' percentage is because it was 3% going into this game. Full disclosure, I just made those up for me.
So I'm going to say the Bears now have a 75% chance of making the playoffs. That's right.
NFC East is now a combined 15 for 33. Wow.
Well, you know why? It's because we beat each other up. Yeah.
It's a tough division. All those inter-divisional games, they leave you banged up the next week and you lose to some teams that you shouldn't.
Okay, now before we shit on the Cowboys because they deserve to be shit on a lot, let me just talk for like one more minute about how awesome that Bears win was because Mitch, I mean, come on. The jerseys.
The jerseys, the helmets, 1997 Camry, not so funny now, guys. That's the grittiness that we needed.

No, he looks confident.

He looks healthy.

And I don't know.

I mean, I know people are going to make the joke.

Well, now it's another year.

Mitch, I'm okay with that.

He's football young.

Late bloomer.

That's true.

Late bloomer.

I actually read an interesting stat today.

It was sent to me by Professor Chuck Cuck.

That seems like a very prestigious title. But Lamar jackson is probably going to be the mvp right joe burrow is likely going to be the heisman this i think would be the first year that the heisman winner would be older than the nfl mvp whoa and what does that have to do what we're talking about lamar's he's nfl young too got it yeah but mitch is very nfl young uh he only threw like he played 13 games in college? Yeah.
So he's basically, this is his rookie year. Sun Bowl doesn't even count.
This is his rookie year right now. Yeah.
And he looks good. He feels confident.
That first pick was a terrible pick. And Mitch of old, pre-Lions Mitch, would probably have that derail him into a phantom injury that Matt Nagy has to bench him and throw him under the bus.
Maybe that was the change. Maybe it was Matt Nagy benching him with no injury that lit a spark.
I actually wouldn't be surprised if Matt Nagy tries to take credit for that. Like, hey, remember that hip injury that I lied to you about? No, no.
It was a lie. I think that what we can give Matt Nagy credit for is he gave Mitch Trubisky one extra series of rest, has made all the difference right so recover young in the season for recovering he recovered from that injury because he had that one series of rest and his hip looks great here's a little spin zone about his touchdown passes one rush TD in the last two games his his interceptions you can do like a spin zone on those because I think he just throws a sticky ball.
I think he throws a very catchable ball. He just sucks sometimes.
One of his touchdown passes just like stuck in his receiver's chest tonight. And it works the same way for the defense.
Yeah, but I'm happy for him because I don't think there's anyone on the internet who gets shit on more than Mitch Trubisky right now in terms of sports, right? Like he has gotten dragged. And I've done a lot of the dragging.
My hand is up. I've said many times when he's bad, I'm telling you he's bad.
But to see him happy, to see his teammates hugging him, I feel good for him. What are you going to say, Hank? You got someone else? I actually think he might be this season.
This season, I think he's been shit on more than any other player. Yeah, I'm going through the list.
I would say like Cam Newton when he wears an outfit after a loss. But it still isn't like what Mitch has gotten.
Mitch is in that rare thing where it's not only fans of other teams shitting on him, but analysts shit on him too. It's because of the whole graphic that you can pull up with Deshaun Watson.
Of course. It's always going to be that.
But the Bears are back next week, Green Bay. So the flip side the flip side the cowboys are a dumpster fire are a joke have quit look like they didn't want to be out there they score early in the game they 13 play drive to start the game and i was like okay we're fucked and they basically i actually jokingly tweeted that that was savvy by the bears to make the Cowboys use all their good plays.
Little did I know that was actually true. They used all their good plays in the 13-play drive to start the game, and they sucked for the rest of the game.
And somehow, as bad as they are, they're still in first place. It actually reminded me a little bit of a Bears offense, the way that they ran.
So they came out swinging, and then they did absolutely nothing from that point on. I don't like shots of Jerry Jones outside of his stadium in Dallas.
It doesn't look natural when he's in a visiting team's owner's suite, and they put him up, and there's usually no glass there. He doesn't have his glasses cleaning boy next to him, ready to scrub off his lenses at a moment's notice.
I like seeing him in his native environment. I would like to see Jerry Jones watch every game from his perch in Dallas.
Yeah. And then they have a live feed of that.
But, yeah, he looks really upset. He's not going to fire Jason Garrett this season.
Well, so this is as close to rock bottom as you can get. Losing to Mitch? Yeah.
Well, yeah. I mean, they made the Bears offense look.
That was the best game the Bears offense played all season. The defense, like you can tell, especially late in the NFL season, when guys just don't want to tackle anymore.
And they're like, nah, I don't think so. Like the business decision.
I mean, Tractor Cito will get to the weekend preview. Derrick Henry does that to basically everyone he plays.
So it's a very weird situation where if they were in any other division, I think that Jerry Jones would have fired Jason Garrett by now. But because they're still in first place and still control their own destiny, you can't fire him.
But this is as rock bottom as it gets for a team that can still go to the playoffs it's funny because i think that the cowboys i think that there's a chance that they could win the division if they go six and ten which is what i'm hoping for if it's not going to be the redskins that sneak their way in i don't think that's possible i think i think it is i think if they beat what's the record right now well they're they're six and seven and they still have to play the Eagles. So if the Eagles beat the Cowboys...
They would be 6. And I don't know how the tiebreakers work.
But the Eagles or the Cowboys could make... One of them could if they both end up at 6-10.
I think it's technically impossible to make the playoffs 6-10, is it not? I don't know. I don't know how math works.
Yeah, I don't know why you put this down this rabbit hole. You just got to be first in your division.
I know that. I know that.
You got to beat who you play. Yeah, I don't know why you did that to my brain, because now I'm not going to be able to get off that.
But that would be amazing. It would be cool to see that graphic pop-up, right? Yeah, I guess wouldn't.
Yeah, yeah, they definitely. I guess if the Eagles Eagles beat the Cowboys and then they get to six wins and they all both lose out, I don't know.
I don't know. Are we as a nation going to talk about Troy Aikman's hoodie that he's wearing? I don't like casual Troy.
These guys are really taking the job. And Joe Buck, we're talking to you too.
I thought it was Jay-Z. He is really, they're really kind of chilling out late in the season.
They're wearing sweaters. A hood.
A hood. He does look like he's going to hand you a mixtape.
You know what's funny? It looks like a fashion like Yeezy season six. Well, it's funny that you say that, Hank, because I'm of the mindset.
When you see a SportsCenter anchor in a full suit, you're like, dude, you're not a banker. Who the fuck cares? You're not a lawyer.
And then you get the reverse where Troy Aikman shows up to Thursday Night Football in a hood. And you're like, have some fucking class, man.
Like, this is disrespectful. So I don't know why that is in our brains.
But, yeah, he looks like a schlump. I'll be honest with you.
I'm shocked every time I tune in to Fox NFL Sunday. And Troy Aikman and Jimmy Johnson are actually wearing shirts.
Yeah, I always expect I've never seen it before. But for some reason, whenever they cut back to the studio, I always assume at some point, the boys are just gonna be shirtless, just like wrestling each other.
And Kurt Menefee is gonna be like have his chest painted. It's it's I guess they get a pass because they still have to travel and do a game on Sunday.
So Thursday night is like, you know. It's casual.
Yeah, it's casual Thursday night. It's like casual Friday kind of thing.
They're doing color rush right now. And then they got to hop on a plane.
I think their game this week is Chiefs-Patriots. But, yeah, come on, Troy.
Treat us a little bit better than that. All right.
Speaking of Chiefs-Patriots, let's do our weekend preview preview throw out a couple picks that will definitely win and we'll do it with bet mgm bet mgm is pmt's home for sports betting this year in addition to special new users offers just for awls every week bet mgm prices and boosts special bets for us every week they've got the following every week in the lobby under barstool specials they've've got my Can't Lose Parlay, which I'll get to in a second. PFT's Primetime Field Goal Special of over 3.5 field goals in either the Sunday or Monday night football game at minus 300, which has been hitting so much they had to change the odds to minus 250.
Plus, this week they're introducing the Jameis 1-1 of over 1.5 TDs and 1.5 interceptions, which has hit two of the last three weeks and was priced at plus $4.75 last week. That's a great one.
I love that. The Jameis Winston hat trick.
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Everyone knows we're a Duck podcast, and people forget how great Duck was in college. Duck finished his FCS career with a record for completions, 1,310, and attempts, 1,896.
I like the record for attempts. Yeah.
Just let him sling it. That's like record for plate appearances.
And in his career, he passed for 111 touchdowns. He finished with 1,500 yards.
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He's going to go off. He is.
Watch him throw seven touchdowns. That would be $300.
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Got it. The one thing I love about Duck is that as much as we talk about his name being Duck and how awesome that is, we are actually underselling how into Duck is.
He loves them. He lives, breathes Ducks.
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Gambling problem, Call 1-800-GAMBLE. You ready for a Moneyline Parlay?

Ready for Larry's three other picks?

Yeah.

Go for him.

Training camp tour.

Two of them were training camp tour 2019.

Rams.

And?

Niners.

Grit week 2019.

Saints.

Did we do that?

No, that was last year.

2019 Grit week.

Chiefs.

Chiefs. Wait, what was that noise.
2019 Grit Week. Chiefs.
Chiefs.

Wait, what was that noise?

That was Mahomes.

Do it again.

Yeah, there you go.

You got it.

Hank is so much better than I am at that.

You ready for my can't-lose parlay, which might have lost last week?

Yeah.

I have the Bucs.

I think the Bucs are spicy.

I think the Bucs are very spicy.

I also think they match up perfectly with the Colts

because the Bucs have the best rush D in the NFL. So I'm taking them straight, like minus three, do it, but this is the money line.
Best rush D in the NFL. The Colts, I don't think T.Y.
Hilton's playing. They're kind of a mess.
They're spiraling a little bit. I have the Packers against the Redskins, and I have the Vikings against the Lions.
Okay. So really it's just the Bucs.
Well, listen, I'll put my hand up. My can't-lose parlay does not do well most weeks.
Usually one or maybe even two of these teams lose, and it would be a real shame if the Packers or the Vikings lost. I think that's nice, so you're emotionally hedging that.
I respect that. It would be a real shame if I put the teams I need to lose for the Bears to get back in the playoff race for them to actually lose.
A real shame indeed. Let me give you a little bit of a tease on why the Vikings might lose against the Detroit Lions.
Yeah. Kyle Slaughter? Well, you said it, not me.
Kyle Slaughter revenge game. I had that literally written down.
He was cut by Slaughter's revenge. Yes, it is Slaughter's revenge.
And also, maybe this is kind of like that Buffalo Bills game against Minnesota last year where they were favored by 16 and they lost. Listen, cocky Minnesota fans, I don't understand you.
I had a couple of my mentions be like, Kirk Cous so much better than mitch fine not the new mitch not the new mitch and the vikings what in the vikings history has told them that they should be confident kirk cousins i'm not confident in the bears ever kirk cousins is football old yeah i'm just saying yeah he has no room for improvement also real shame if the vikings or the packers lost one issue uh Somebody on the Vikings apologized this week. I forget who it was.
So the apologies are back. Yeah, I know.
Xavier Rhodes. Yeah.
Xavier Rhodes apologized. So for sucking, which is what Kirk Cousins did.
He sucked for like a year and a half. So I think they've apologized too much.
I'm sorry, but I'll say it. The Vikings apologize too much.
They're close to Canada. So they're just doing the story all the time.
So that's my can't lose parlay. I'm sorry, guys, but the Bears are back.
Okay, let's talk about some games. I actually have dubbed this PFT working title pending your approval.
It's the just how good are they weekend. Okay, because there's no loser leaves town.
No loser leaves town. It's the just how good are they weekend.
I think this weekend loser leaves town no loser leaves town it's the just how good are they weekend i think this weekend week 14 is going to be fascinating because there are some really good games and we're going to walk away on sunday night being like okay this team ready to roll this team maybe some questions so we'll start uh ravens at bills that's a just how good are they because if the ravens roll the ravens are in like holy fuck no one can stop them and if the bills win now the bills are not only very very legit but look don't look now they will be playing for the afc east when they play the patriots in a couple can i just put this out here and we have not discussed this yet, but if the Bills get a home playoff game, do you want to go to it? Yeah, for sure. I think we should.
Well, as long as it's not the same day as the Bears' home playoff game. Oh, no, the Bears play on the—no, actually, no, we might win the NFC North.
Yeah, you'll be fine. I would love to go to— God damn it, my heart is going to be broken.
I would love to go to a playoff game in Buffalo, New York. How insane would that be? It would be crazy.
This is one of those games where it's being talked about right now. Yeah, yeah.
We don't know. I don't want to take tickets from any like diehard Bills fan.
I want to watch the game next to a trash can fire and a TV and just keep like slurping chili and mad dog. And I want to write an entire column on that one Bills fan stomach.
Yeah. The shirtless guy.
Yes, we will be there. This is like it happens five times a year, but this is the biggest game in Buffalo Bills history this weekend.
So I think that they can slow the Ravens down. I don't think that they're going to beat the Ravens.
Well, PFT, what we have here is two teams that practice against mobile quarterbacks. It's very true.
That's very true. So the Bills defense practiced against Josh Allen.
Probably, I mean, Lamar Jackson is obviously a lot more shifty and a lot faster than Josh Allen. But Josh Allen's taller.
Josh Allen can move. So they're a little used to it.
And same with the Ravens. They're used to practicing against a mobile quarterback.
Could we have an under because everyone knows everyone's moves? Just saying. I actually am taking the under.
Yeah, I like that. Same thought.
I like that. All right.
The next just how good are they game? 49ers going to the Saints. 49ers have had a gauntlet of a schedule, but this is a game that if they go in there and win I think they're back to that okay they're the best team in the NFC and if the Saints win because I think the Saints are one of those weird teams I put the Seahawks in that this group where their schedule or sorry their record is very very good but you can still look depending on how you look at them you're like huh there's some things that just seem a little off that might not be showing up like in the third week in January.
And the 49ers did a weird thing where they didn't go home this week. I love that.
They practiced in Florida, which I don't, like, that's not that close to New Orleans. Yeah, if you're on the panhandle.
Yeah, if they practice at Florida State, if they practice in Tallahassee, then I can, I guess, see it. But they decided to stay on the East Coast and practiced in the – they're going to play in a dome.
So I don't really – I don't know what Calisthenian is doing. I think he just wants to travel.
He didn't want to fly back? Yeah. Yeah, I get that.
Flying across the country sucks ass. Body clock.
Yeah, body clock is good. Body clock game.
So, yeah, I'm actually going to go with the Saints on this one. I don't think that the Niners – I love the Niners here.
I love, love, love the Niners here. I don't like the Niners in a dome.
The uniforms are not dome uniforms. I love, love, love the Niners here.
Although, I'll always think when the Saints are playing against the 49ers at home, I'll think about that one hit that Drew Brees took like five years ago where it looked like his neck popped off. You remember that? Yeah.
Stretch Armstrong. Yeah, Stretch Armstrong's Gumby neck.
Yeah. No, I love the 49ers in this game.
I think they match up perfectly with the Saints. The next, just how good are they game? Chiefs of Patriots.
Hank? This is my emotionally, I'm just going to go all in all the way in on the Patriots. They're either going to blow this game out or if they lose, I'm going to start to emotionally prepare myself for maybe a disappointing end of the season.
But if they win the Patriots all the way back, three-peat. What has to happen for Tom Brady to start gaining more confidence in his wide receivers, Hank? What did you say? The whole storyline about Tom Brady not having confidence in his wide receivers, are you buying that? Because he gave them quite a warm-up speech.
We didn't talk about that, actually, on the show. The pump-up speech that he gave him on the sidelines, where he spent like 30 seconds just saying, like, come on.
It was like the Russell Wilson mic'd up, but he was just like on the bench just saying it to no one in particular. But he doesn't trust his wide receivers is what I'm getting at, with the exception of Jules.
Would you? No. Just because I don't trust wide receivers in general unless they're wearing numbers in the 80s.
It's one of those things, though. It's like you've got to hit rock bottom before you can climb all the way back up.
All the Patriots receivers know that they're fucking up and that they're going to go extra hard to make sure they do what they've got to do to win those games. It's also so apparent how badly they just needed a good tight end.
Yeah. I mean, the Bears tonight, they had a competent tight end and everything looks different.
Do you think that Belichick told his son to go out in front of the media and to talk exactly like him to get the storylines all talking about how he sounds exactly like his dad instead of talking about actual on-the-field stuff? Can we put that audio in? This is Steve Belichick answering questions, and we have cloned the human brain. I don't know.
I haven't really thought about how it correlates. It's just trying to do my thing, and I think that that's what's best, so that's what we're trying to do.
Steve, Phil, asked you about the chores. Do you have a memory of your first football chore or one of your first football chores that he asked you to do? Yeah, I got a couple memories of those.
And you want to share? Yeah, those are between me and him.

It was, I'm actually happy that we put this in the podcast because if you watch the video, you're like, okay, this doesn't work. This guy looks like a dressed up PFT.
He looks nothing like me. But his voice, the cadence, everything.
It's crazy. Yeah, it's nuts.
I wouldn't be surprised if his dad was like,

hey, just go out and provide a little distraction for us. Just do an impression.
Because it did sound like something that a rookie would do during training camp when they have impression day and the talent show, where somebody gets up there, and in this case, he looks like he's an emaciated punter that stands up in front of the media and just starts doing an impression of the head coach and it was spot on it was spot on i don't know if it's an accent like you know you grow up in certain parts of the country you talk like everybody around you like he just grew up watching film with his dad so he just talked exactly like well that was the best part when when they're like can you tell us one of the you know memories you had with your dad and he had that little smile he stopped himself he's like no, I'm gonna keep that with me and my dad. That's where it's like you think I just imagine like Bill and Steve sitting in a room just like pounding, pounding beers down, laughing at like when, you know, Steve, when they ask you these questions, just don't give them any information.
Right. And they, and they also talk like super normally and like reject their voice and everything.
I would imagine though they, they, they never say like, I love just compliment each other's plays they're like i loved this i love this design you used you're definitely love that play i love what you did with the safety here and the help over here like that was great and he's like yeah i love that you love that that's what they like catch each other's eyes for a second they know and they shake it off and like back to the place no i think they know they're saying. They just know that they won't say it out loud.
Right. If you saw the Bill Belichick and Bill Parcells documentary.
The two Bills, they were talking about each other and at the end they were like, do you want to tell them that you love them? And they just looked at each other like, we say it. We say it without saying it.
Yeah, we know. We say it.
We certainly know. Yeah.
All right. Last, just how good are they game? Seahawks Rams.
Seahawks Rams. If the Seahawks, the Seahawks are a weird team because statistically, I think they're like barely, I think they're barely positive in terms of point differential and they're 10-2.
I'm kind of with that though. Like if you get, if you're going to lose, you might as well just get blown out.
Yeah. But they've.
Yeah, but they've been winning every game by only a couple points, it feels like. I can't remember.
I'm sure I'll get corrected here. It's late.
But it doesn't feel like they blow a ton of teams out. Yeah, they're plus 36 point differential.
Yeah, it's not a lot. And the San Francisco 49ers are plus 166.
Fun stat, the LA Chargers have a positive point differential. Yeah, I remember you told me that.
That is crazy. Yeah, I mean, the Seahawks don't blow teams out.
Their last six games they won by seven, eight, three, six, seven. They don't four.
They haven't beaten the team by – they beat the Cardinals 27-10 in week four. That's the only time they've beaten the team by more than a score.
So who do you like in this? I think the Seahawks are going to win. I think the Rams are.
I don't know. We're opposites.
So here's Sean McVay's offenses against the Seahawks. The last four times they've played, 29 points, 33 points, 36 points, 42 points.
theams for whatever reason it is can figure out how to how to attack pete carroll's defense so i think that the rams this is one of those the rams need it more the seahawks are on a short week i think the rams are going to show out and win this game and i love the over the way the way that i think they would win this game is if pete Pete Carroll falls in the trap that he falls into like four or five times a year where he gets obsessed with establishing the run, and he just tries to run the ball for 3.3 yards per carry for the entire game and doesn't let Russell Wilson throw it. He's been letting Russell Wilson throw it more and more recently, but it feels like he's due for one of those games where he's like, no one will respect me if we don't establish the running game.
Also, the Seahawks, I think maybe their center's out?

I don't know.

Someone on their offensive line, Key, is out.

And it's just whenever I see an interior offensive lineman

out against Aaron Donald, I'm like, that's a problem.

It's going to be an issue.

That's going to be an issue.

So I'll take the Rams in that one.

Let's do some picks.

Hank, you want to start?

Why don't you do your favorite and your underdog, and then we'll do the totals. So we'll go 2-2-2-2.
Favorites, Patriots, emotionally all in. My underdog is the Lions, Sloters, Revenge.
Yes. Quickly, what will be your reaction if the Patriots lose? Like how? It depends.
Okay. It depends how they lose.
Yeah. If they look like they have the last four weeks, then that's why I will emotionally start to get preparations made to be let down in the playoffs.
You're right. You're living will and testament for the playoffs.
What does that look like, making preparations for losing in the playoffs? You start making the excuse train. You start figuring out what the times are and when it's going to roll into town, etc., etc.
And just look for any loopholes and outs that you can cling on to and blame for. What's excuse number one going to be? How can you blame Roger Goodell is what I'm asking.
How can you blame the NFL for the Patriots' demise this season if they go down that road? Well, the fact that they have so many convicted criminals that are still playing and they ostracized a guy like Antonio Brown just for saying comments and stuff on Instagram, that could play a part. I think it was, yeah, that's all Antonio Brown did, was just Instagram comments.
Yeah, it was just Instagram comments. Sneaky, though, I feel like the Patriots are going to win this game not only because it's just the Patriots win these type of games in Foxborough in December when everyone's kind of down on them.

But Patrick Mahomes, he hasn't been Patrick Mahomes recently. Do you know, guess how many yards Patrick Mahomes has thrown for in his last two games?

It's not a lot.

So 490.

So I can't count. I can't add.
But it's less than that because it's 175 yards against the Raiders, 182 yards against the Chargers. He's been sitting on this game, though, ever since he didn't get a chance to have a ball.
I'm just saying. Ever since the NFL screwed Patrick Mahomes by not changing the rules in the playoffs for him.
Their offense. I'm not saying it's his fault, but you know that's what he's been thinking about up until this moment.
It's just one of those things that Patrick Holmes hasn't looked. They scored 40 points last week against the Raiders.
He threw 175 yards and had one touchdown. I'm just saying.
If I'm Andy Reid, I'm playing my defense with 10 men on the field because I think you can stop them with 10, and you're eliminating the position of your defensive lineman lining up offsides. There you go.
All right. So you had your favorite and your underdog.
PFT, you do your favorite and your underdog. My favorite is the Patriots.
Okay. Minus three at home.
I actually agree that this feels like a game that the Patriots, they win, they grind out. It's just everything we know as football fans, when people start saying the Patriots are done in in December, in Foxborough, it seems like this always happens.
And for some reason, I think of Patrick Mahomes as being a warm-weather quarterback, even though he played in Lubbock, which is not necessarily warm, and Kansas City, which is not. Very cold.
Which is also very cold. For some reason, I'm just like, I think it's because he's so good that any time a great quarterback throws for a shitload of yards,

I'm like, oh, he's just one-hundred.

California boy.

Yeah.

Cali boy Mahomes isn't going to be able to handle the winter weather in Foxborough.

So I've got the Patriots minus three at home.

My underdog is the R-Words, the Washington R-Words.

Same.

Plus 12.5.

Same.

At Green Bay.

They're going to be able to run the ball on the Packers.

That's right.

They might even win this game. I would love it.
All right, and then, so that's my underdog. My favorite is the Bucs.
I think the Bucs are going to finish 8-8. I do.
I think Jameis is going to get franchise tagged. I do.
I hope so. I really do.
I think the Bucs, they're going to be one of those teams. I'm calling it right now.
They're going to be one of those teams that finishes strong, and then next year everyone says look out for the Bucs. Hank, give us your over and your under.
Over? I'm going to switch it to the Rams-Seahawks after those stats that you just provided. Those are good stats, right? Yep.
And the under is the Ravens. I hope that the Bills can make them look human.
Okay. That's a good under.
That is. It's down under.
That is. I actually have the exact same.
So that's a problem for us. Yeah.
Everything is a problem. Everything is a problem.
So my overage was the Seahawks Rams. Yeah.
That's probably a problem. That's an issue.
Everything's a problem. And what was the first game we talked about that we all agreed on? The under and the Ravens-Bills.

You already said that.

Yeah, yeah.

No, this is a problem.

This is a problem weekend.

Hey, folks.

It's an issue.

This is a weekend where this is a classic week, 14, 15 every year.

You lose everything, and you have to dial back the holiday presents,

the Christmas presents.

Maybe people aren't getting the Xbox One this year.

You know what we're actually doing? We're just putting all this on film and on tape so that we can tweet it out next week with how wrong we were, and that'll drive a lot of engagement because of how much we blew it. No, there's always, this is, I know it's so well, Feast Week is a landmine, and then this next couple weeks there'll be one week where everyone will lose.
Not just us. Everyone will lose and they'll be like you won't believe it every single team that had 30 of the money or less record-setting weekend for vegas yeah right and then everyone's sitting there like okay now we gotta buy what for christmas um my actual under is the panthers falcons my bonus under was the ravens bills oh the the triple uh triple lightning well panthers panthers falcons the Panthers-Falcons.
My bonus under was the Ravens-Bills. Ooh, the...
The triple lightning bolt. Panthers-Falcons.
Panthers-Falcons. Fired coach pole.
Fired coach, yeah. Cleet Blakeman is the official.
He's the head official in that game. Yeah, that didn't work on Monday.
But he's 10-1 on unders on the year. 0-1 in his last one.
0-1 in his last one. He's on a bad streak.
So Cleet Blakeman, get your act together. Stop all the scoring.
I do like how Ron Rivera, he technically got fired, but he spent the week basically like Dan Quinn spends every week. They let him give a press conference.
It's crazy. He's been hanging around the facility.
He's a big guy where you talk about him in the media and you have to say, great coach, even better human being. Yeah, and everyone is like, he'll have a lot of suitors okay cool we i mean we're not there yet but okay yeah he it was very bizarre he came he basically gave like a speech on why he should be hired yeah they let him do an infomercial yeah it was great so i guess maybe that's that would be the new norm i would like that didn't they do that with mike mccarthy when they fired him they They brought him back to give a pep talk to the team? I could see Ron Rivera being invited back as assistant to the head coach this year.
Mike McCarthy might be the new coach in Cleveland, right? No, wait. What was Pete Prisco? Pete Prisco had an all-time.
Oh, it was Panthers. He's like, Tepper, Pittsburgh guy.
You know who else is a Pittsburgh guy? Everyone.

Well, every single coach that's ever coached in the NFL.

Either Pittsburgh or Eastern Ohio.

But also Mike McCarthy.

Yeah.

All right.

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All right, let's do some fantasy fuckboys and we'll get to our interview.

What's up, boys?

It's Paulie Positano.

Positano, my man.

My stodom is drunk dialing.

Strunk?

Drunk dialing.

Drunk dialing.

Back that spider fuck kid Tom Holland drunk dialed Disney to get that Spider-Man brought back to the MCU. So if you're out this weekend and you're thinking about it, do it.
Okay. It always works out in your favor.
Don't know what you're talking about. You mash those buttons when you have a couple cocktails.
Next thing you know, your ex is coming over. Take your panties off.
My sit-em is math. Yeah, fuck numbers.
All these AWL fucks

have been tweeting all these little stats and making

me do math in my head and it fucking gave me

a headache all day and I just hate it. It reminds me

of math sucks. A number is

just a word for somebody that can't tackle.

And my sleeper

is Steve Belichick.

I had him as my startup, but then we talked about him

right before this, so I put him on my sleeper

because the segment went to sleep. Thank you, Paulie.
That was fucking awesome. My name is Florio Florissimo.
I'm starting this week. Rugby 7s.
The U.S. Rugby 7s team.
We're 1-0. We are tied for number one in the entire world after one game of this season in the HSBC World Series.

We're going against Danny Barrett.

Stomped the fucking Irish Pete Bog inside the Irish national team.

Scored two tries.

Touch them all, Danny.

Touch them all, Daniel.

Try, Hobgiers.

I'm sitting Peyton Barber.

That's right.

Peyton Barber is taking a seat.

Bruce Arians loves to take weight carries from whoever just had a really good game last week. So Peyton Barber, you are going to suck a big toad on Sunday afternoon, baby.
Drink paint. My sleeper is I'm going to put that little piss boy Adam Schefter to sleep for going after Mike Greenberg and Mike Greenberg's mom on Mike's own show.
He's a great mom, Shafty. She took care of little Green.
He kept him

safe when he had his minor injuries.

You pissed me off, Shafty.

I'm going to give you another kidney stone. I'm going to take

the kidney stone you pissed out last week.

I'm going to shove it into your dick with a pipe

cleaner. You keep talking about Mike Greenberg

like that. We understand? It's on site, Adam.

Alright, what's up?

It's Larry Linguini. My stardom

is Navy Army uniforms. No, stardom is Navy Army uniforms.
The release No, the release has happened. Navy Army uniforms.
They're the coolest uniforms every single year. They get you so hyped up.
Navy and they look like the fucking Rams. Excuse me, Hank.
Support the troops. I love the troops.
Take that back right now. Take that back right now.

They suck.

I disavow.

My cinnamon Doug Gottlieb, that stupid fuck Doug Gottlieb,

said our friend Greg Kittle can't block for shit.

He's like the best blocking tight end in the league.

What the fuck?

What the fuck, Dougie?

He also had a tweet that was up for 24 hours and had one like, zero retweets. Oh, no.
One like. A like.
A like. He didn't even need a rack for his likes.
A sleeper is LeBron James. He's just walking around the court, walking all over the world.
LeBron James doesn't give a fuck that he took his shoes off and pretended to die on the court. LeBron James, you put me to sleep.
Live. Laugh.
LeBron. Oh, man.
That broke the record, by the way. LeBron's travel, which was hilarious, broke the record for...
It was his most embarrassing moment on the basketball court ever. He said that? Yeah.
He took responsibility. I would say when he showed his penis.
Yeah. I would say when he quit on the Cavs like 15 different times.
When he was losing to the Spurs and faked a cramp. When De'Ante West slept with his mom.
When he scored eight points in an NBA final game against Dallas. When he walked off the court before the Warriors game ended and then said he had a broken hand.
Yeah, when that lady called him a bitch. When he sat at the end of the bench and just looked at all the teammates that he wanted to trade and then didn't even trade most of them.
And when he went three and six in the NBA finals. When he had that hairline.
Yep. Yep.
All these things. All these things.
Good for him though. Taking credit for.
It was a very, very funny. It was very funny, but it broke the record for the amount of people saying, this is why I don't watch the NBA anymore.
It's true. It's like, really? That's why? You don't watch it because he traveled for one second? The James Harden thing was more egregious.
Yeah. I mean, I cannot stand people who are like, this is why I don't watch the NBA.
Because you still do watch the NBA. Or if you don't, it's for other reasons besides traveling.
This is why I watch college basketball. They don't travel in college basketball.
They just air ball threes. Right.
Exactly. Yeah, they score 40 points in the over-under for Virginia Purdue, by the way.
100 was electric to watch. You had Punk, but it was so much fun.
I saw the under at 100, and I was considering taking the under, because to me that's just as exhilarating as taking that under. No, it because he's like every three felt like a million points and it was so easy to keep track of i loved it talk about my hatred for math yeah did you see lebron's instagram post that he put up what where he like he was saying like uh people are making fun of me because i'm showing love and joy for my team because in the fourth quarter that game he walked onto the court with his shoes off because off because he had given his shoes away or he had thrown them at a kid like the cameraman through George Bush or whatever.
I don't know exactly how he gave the shoes to the fan, but he was on the court shoeless like jumping around celebrating his team. He wrote an Instagram post saying, oh, I'm sorry.
I guess it's bad for me to be supportive of my teammates. And then he ended it by saying, live, laugh, love.
Love it. Love it.
He jacked up everyone's girlfriend's AIM instant messenger profile from 1999. The wood boards that you put in your kitchen from Target.
Yep. Like, hey, live, laugh, love.
One last thing before we get to our interviews. Your man, Greeny.
He's a wuss. Excuse me? He's a wuss.
Why? Because he showed strength in not attacking Adam Sheffield. He had the...
It takes more strength to not go after someone that's just insulted your mom. He just ate that thing.
He ate it. Like, all he had to say was, like, he had to just do one of two things.
One, he could have been like, that's totally offensive and out of out of line my mother's a great woman and watch shefty be a wuss and then be like just kidding or do the my mom died last year and watch shefty cry and be like ha not she's alive just kidding you don't actually know about his mom i don't care that's the way you handle that ray wingo was there he would have said mrs greenberg is a saint that's it's how you handle that yeah you'd say how you handle that so he was disappointed in greenie when shefter but i mean burns you you're not disappointed no yes you can't be disappointed in exactly what you expect because greenie greenie what if greenie had responded with like keep my mom's name off your lips or i'm going to smack it out of there? Yeah. Like, you would have been cool with that? Not me.
I would have been cool with anything. Like, Schefter is the bottom of the alpha beta scale and he just alpha'd you on your own show.
It's over. Greeny can stand up to Schefter.
The beauty of Mike Greenberg is that he is an unapologetic beta. And that's why I love him so very deeply.
You don't get that on television a lot. As someone who's like, I'm a dork.
But Shefty is too. I'm a dork.
I did a show with a jock, and I was a nerd, and that was my role. I'm little M, Mike.
He's fresh meat now. Everyone's going to take.
Now that Shefty's made it okay, everyone's going to be taking their shots at Greeny. So what Greeny has to do next week on Get Up is he's got to go to the biggest dude on the show and punch him or attack him.
Who would that be? Like Marcus Spears? Yeah. He's just...
Or he's called Marcus Spears a fat ass? Or all he can do is just shush Dan Orlovsky once. Just say end zone.
No, Dan Orlovsky just yells really loud. Yeah.
Have you heard his voice? I have. As a guy who has a loud voice, I feel for him because i know it's an affliction we some of us have i like honestly feel bad because i know i watch him sometimes and i'm like he can't control the the volume of his voice i have that same thing he also has a peaky blinders haircut yeah he does they call that the the uh the nipster the nipster was yeah was a nazi hipster okay the Richard Spencer.
Yeah. That's not what he is.
No. I'm just saying that style of hair.
It's like the more aggressive Macklemore. Yeah.
A Macklemore with an Iron Cross tattoo on his shoulder. Yeah.
So either way, Dan Orlovsky, dude, I feel your pain. We should have like a support group for guys who can't control the volume of their voice because I'm the same way.
Voice modulation are we going to talk at all about what's happening on monday night oh i feel like we should address this well we should i mean we'll talk about it on sunday before to preview monday but yes eli's back yeah yes eli's back maybe it's not official i think he's back it's not official he should be back right oh i agree probably realized the reaction that it got and they're like now we have to do it yeah right i need to be fully official to let my heart really fall into it but this is just archie being archie yeah he pulled he probably pulled some strings but he he probably he probably twist he probably ken shamrocked daniel jones's ankle in the parking lot i wouldn't be shocked if yeah if archie actually got his hands dirty eli man Eli Manning is now more than ever the Forrest Gump of the NFL. He just keeps showing up.
The problem is historical moments. I'm very excited to see him throw like four touchdowns.
I'm excited to see the Giants going to winning. I know it's mathematically impossible for the Giants to make the playoffs, but the winner of the NFC East should do the right thing and give their spot to the Giants if Eli's starting.
The problem is he's 116 and 116 is a starter. So there are four more games left.
If he wins this game on Monday, they have to do the right thing and never play him again. If he loses this game, they have to play Eli Manning until he gets back over .500, even if that means five more years.
Yeah. That's really what it comes down to.
I mean, yes, please. Five more years of Eli Manning.
You know how many fake game-worn clothes that Eli is going to be able to peddle to the world? Archie just wants to get just a couple more games closer to Arch Manning being in the NFL.

Because we can't have, what is it, what was the old, there's always got to be a snowing

Stark and Winterfell.

Stark and Winterfell.

So there's got to be a Manning in the NFL.

What do you think Eli's move is when he retires?

Because everyone, when Peyton retired, they're like, he's either going to be a coach or he's

going to go on TV, do something in the media.

What's Eli?

I think he's just going to walk around like streets with his mouth open. I think he's to see sports e-sports he's going to become a twitch streamer like an owner or something yeah i i could see him just like sitting on his couch and staring at the dvd screensaver for a few weeks yeah no he's not gonna do much he's gonna just kind of hang out or hang out you know one of those things like imagine he, you know, drives.
He probably would drive his kids to school every day and then go and maybe force like a few people to play receiver for him while he throws the ball around and convinces himself he's still in the NFL. Yeah.
I think what has made Eli Manning so great is what we struggle with sometimes. Whenever we have somebody on the show that has practiced meditation, we try to figure out how to do it.
I think Eli Manning just is naturally always meditating. Yeah.
There's just nothing in his mind. His brain's empty.
Eli Manning is just, he always is where he is. Right.
In that moment. And he doesn't think about anything else.
So he's fine. Yeah, he'll be fine.
Retirement will be great. Okay, let's get to our we have tom franelli and lindsey vaughn before we do all that though chivas regal i feel like they they changed this on me but i'm gonna power through leading blended scotch whiskey chivas regal has launched a special new blend chivas 13 manchester united special edition in honor of the team's 13 Premier League title wins under the management of Sir Alex Ferguson.
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Okay, here he is, our good friend Tom Fernelli.

Okay, we're now joined by our very good friend.

He covers college football.

He covers it for CBS Sports.

He has a podcast called Cover 3 Podcast.

He is unfortunately a White Sox fan.

Sorry about Zach Wheeler.

It is Tom Fernelli. Tom it is championship saturday and friday so let's start with you know what let's start with the friday night game and it will be a bigger question here what score does utah have to win by for them to get into the college football playoff and do you think utah will even win I don't think that Utah have to win by for them to get into the college football playoff? And do you think Utah will even win? I don't think that Utah has to do anything special to convince the committee, because if we look at how they've been ranked the entire season, they're right ahead of both Oklahoma and Baylor right now.
So I think as long as Utah wins and Georgia loses, they're going to get fourth spot because I've heard the argument like well if Oklahoma beats Baylor that adds to their resume and that'll move them ahead of Utah but Oklahoma's already beaten Baylor that's already on Oklahoma's resume so why would beating it twice push them ahead of Utah who would at this point have added a win over you know Oregon to its resume so I think Utah, all it has to do, whether it's ugly, pretty, it's a 20-point win, it's a three-point win, I think as long as Georgia loses and Utah wins, Utah is going to be in the college football playoff. Okay, quick counterpoint to that.
One, Utah, the best team that they have beaten, and let's say that they beat Oregon, so that will obviously be their best win, but the best team they have beaten is 7-5. They've beaten a bunch of 7-5 teams.
The best team they played besides Oregon was USC, and they lost that game. And then on top of all of that, you can tell me if I'm way off, but I always just assume brands matter, whether they should or they shouldn't.

People are used to Oklahoma.

Lincoln Riley, the brand of Oklahoma, is bigger than the brand of Utah, and that will push

them just a little bit over the edge, even though that's not fair.

Well, going to Utah's resume, like you said, right now, without the Oregon win, the best

win on their schedule is like Arizona you know, Arizona State, Washington,

one of those two, whatever, pick your preference.

But they're still ranked ahead of Oklahoma and Baylor,

even though Oklahoma and Baylor have better resumes,

because the fact is Utah has been, and this is one thing,

if you listen to what Rob Mullins has said week in and week out,

what he said about Utah is that it is a complete team.

And if we look at how they've ranked everybody, they are ranking the quote-unquote complete teams the teams that are good offensively and good defensively and utah's not just undefeated maybe it hasn't played anybody but it's kicking the shit out of everybody it's playing it's not like it's a fluky thing where they're getting by like 21 to 17 they're're beating teams by 45, 35, 46, 28, 30 points every single week. And I think that's been more impressive to the committee than Oklahoma kind of farting around and, you know, losing to Kansas State on the road, beating Iowa State by a point, struggling to get by TCU, struggling to get by, you know, Baylor having to make that huge comeback.
And I think that's what the committee is looking at with Utah, where they just see them and they say, this team's been dominant all season long, whereas Oklahoma kind of messes around and gets sloppy with the ball and gets itself in trouble. Now, as to what you were saying about the brands, that is something we do need to consider because I do think there is some truth to it.
I don't think it's the situation like we saw Feinbaum on Get Up the other morning saying nobody wants to see Utah in the playoff. I don't buy that for a second.
But if Oklahoma beats Baylor on Saturday and Utah wins pretty convincingly against Oregon, and then they push Oklahoma up over Utah after having Utah ahead of Oklahoma all season, it will be very difficult for them to pretend that the brand doesn't have something to do with it. Because clearly, like you said, Oklahoma, as far as the brand and the national recognition and the star power, has a whole lot more than Utah.
Because while Utah is a very good team, I would wager that just about every casual college football fan and the people who are tuning in for the college football playoff, most of them don't know anybody on Utah's team. They don't know Tyler Huntley.
They don't know Zach Moss. They don't know the names of it.
They don't know Kyle Whittingham. So they're relatively unknown in that factor.
But I do think that based on what we've seen from the committee so far, they do like Utah, and I think Utah will give in if it beats Oregon. And I should say you did also ask me if I think Utah will beat Oregon.
I think it will, but I'm not convinced of it Because Oregon, you know, it lost to Arizona State a few weeks ago and killed its playoff hopes. But Oregon's been a very good football team itself.
It has a very good defense. Justin Herbert, I think, is overhyped a little bit as a draft prospect.
But as far as a college quarterback goes, he's a top college quarterback. So that makes them dangerous.
So I think Oregon can win the game. I think it's going to be kind of a close game.
I do think Utah wins more often than not, though. So I think it's going to be low-scoring, too, because it's supposed to be windy in Santa Clara on Friday night.
So Utah is 6.5-point favorites, so it sounds like you're thinking Oregon. Do you think Oregon's going to cover? I do.
I like the under in Oregon to cover just because, like I said, I'm thinking this is going to be like a 27-24, 24-21 kind of game where it's not sloppy and ugly, but the two defenses are the best units on the field for both sides, and I think they'll win out over 60 minutes. I've got to be honest with you, Tom.
When you said that some people out there don't want to see Utah, I think I don't want to see Utah in the playoffs. No, most people would.
I think I'm one of those people hand up. I enjoy seeing teams that I recognize and teams that – like Oklahoma in the college football playoff, I'm going to watch that game all the time, and I'm not going to be – every single time I'm not going to be pissed off if Oklahoma makes it to the championship game.
If Utah made it to the college football championship, I think viewership would obviously be way, way down. But I'm just so dumb that I see a logo that I've seen before, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to watch that team play.
So give me one thing. As a casual college football fan, what can I say to make myself sound knowledgeable about Utah's team? I mean, they are, listen, in all seriousness, they are a very fun team.

They're a very good team.

I know they don't have the brand recognition, but they are very good.

Tyler Huntley is, you know, it's a very strange season because there are,

like, I feel like Joe Burrow is running away with the Heisman campaign

and with the Heisman trophy race.

And there are a lot of other dudes who probably deserve to be in New York.

And I think Tyler Huntley is somebody who definitely deserves to be there. If you look at his numbers and you compare them to guys like Burrow and Tua and Justin Fields, his numbers are right there with all of them.
He's had a very good season. And then Zach Moss is probably the most underrated running back in the country.
In fact, the only game that they lost against USC, Moss got hurt during that game and he missed it. And that kind of, you know, really impacted that played a role so I mean there's a very good chance that if Zach Moss never gets hurt in that game Utah's undefeated right now all right and also just a shout out to Kyle Whittingham who might be the most underrated coach in college football he probably would make any I would say he'd probably make a top five any top five list of coaches in college football which would probably surprise a lot surprise a lot of people, but he's up there.
He's one of the best coaches. He is probably the top coach that hasn't won a title, and most coaches haven't won a title because it's basically Saban and Dabo.
Tom, I couldn't help but notice you answered three questions about Utah, and you didn't say anything about Clemson, so I want to give you 30 seconds to respect Clemson on this show. We're a big respect Clemson here.
I'm sorry. I hope Dabo's not listening.
And if he is, I hope he can forgive me because, you know, as a member of the national media, I hate Clemson. I hope they lose.
I don't want them in the playoff. I think that they're very, very bad, and the ACC is the worst conference ever.

And, yeah.

Just make that a clip, Ed.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

If Clemson loses, they're still in.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

For sure.

I mean, Clemson is amazing, and it's what's incredible.

I mean, Dabble has no other cards to play.

I've been saying all year long, Clemson's biggest opponent will be boredom

because the rest of the ACC suck.

There is a lot the ACC that can compete with Clemson. So all that they had all year was as long as they didn't get bored and screw up against somebody, they were going to win the conference and they're going to get into the playoff, and they could win the national title again.
And the fact that they're at number three has nothing to do with anybody thinking Clemson stinks or the ACC stinks. It's just that they're undefeated, and there are two other undefeated teams who are kicking the crap out of everybody but have a better resume because they've played other ranked teams.
So that's the only reason Clemson's at number three. But the reason LSU fans are really pissed off about Ohio State going to number one, and the reason that being number one is so important, is because if you're number two, you have to play Clemson in the semifinal.
And nobody wants to play Clemson in the semifinal because they're really fucking good. Yep.
So let's make a hypothetical here. We'll jump to conclusions that LSU wins and will really kind of suspend all belief here and say Ohio State beats Wisconsin, which we know won't happen.

I thought you already conceded that.

Who gets the one seed?

No, if Wisconsin wins, it's iron sharpens iron.

So I'm in a no-lose situation here.

Wisconsin is going to do whatever is best to get those boys from Columbus ready for the playoff. Who gets one seed if both teams win? I think Ohio State would keep on to the one seed unless LSU just really completely balls out and destroys Georgia, which is a possibility.
But I think that whether you think it's a conspiracy that the college football playoff is propping up the Big Ten teams so it has the chance to give Ohio State the number one slot or not. The fact is, if we were in the BCS era right now, the one and two teams would be Ohio State at one and LSU two, because that's where all the computers see Ohio State as well.
It's not just some conspiracy to prop up the Big Ten, because Ohio State's been a very good team. And as we've seen, as we discussed with the Utah thing,

the committee is doing a good job of combining both resume and the eye test.

And if you've watched Ohio State this year,

they've been the most dominant team in the country aside from Clemson.

LSU has been a great team.

LSU has had a great season, but LSU has had close calls.

The Auburn game was a close call. It was in a close game against Texas.
A Texas team that, as the season has gone along, has proven to be pretty mediocre, and that has hurt LSU's overall resume, which contributed to them falling to number two. So if you look at them defensively, they've shown some weaknesses and spots, although I think that a lot of it is also, if you look at the raw numbers and judge LSU's defense off that, I think that's misguided simply because with their offense being able to score so quickly and so often, the defense is just on the field a lot more often.
If you look at more of the advanced metrics or the rate metrics, LSU's defense isn't elite like we've seen with Clemson and Ohio State, but it's still a pretty good defense. It's one of the better ones in the country, but it's just the combination of the combination of the two I think that again they look at Ohio State and they see a more complete team because their closest game was that 11 point win over Penn State which is a top 10 team but it's important to remember that 10 of Penn State's 17 points came directly off of Ohio State turnovers in their own territory so Penn State had two short fields and in four plays and had to go 30 yards to get 10 points.
So that made that game look a lot closer than it was in reality. As we saw, you know, when iron sharpened iron earlier this season, Ohio State beat Wisconsin 38-7.
The rain. The rain.
We're a fast team. We're a fast team.
Jonathan Taylor just couldn't get any traction with that wet turf. Well, that's all it came down to.
Has Jim Irsay said whether or not the roof's going to be closed on Saturday? I don't know. That's going to be a big factor.
I assume it is. You've got to check into that.
It's tough watching. I mean, Wisconsin is what they are, and that's a very good team.
But then you see Ohio State, and you're like, yep, that's a different level. Like, Jimmy's and Joe's, X's and O's kind of goes out.
That's really what the story is when those two teams match up. Yeah, and that's just really been the story for the Big Ten this year.
You could make a very strong argument that from top to bottom, the Big Ten is the toughest conference in the country this year. And the rankings show that the committee feels the same way.
It's just Ohio State is miles above everybody else in the conference, much like Ohio State, Clemson, and LSU are pretty much miles ahead of most other teams in the country. And that's why I think it's funny because we sit here and we're having the debate over who's going to be the number four team.
And the truth of the matter is, it's not really going to matter because whoever gets that number four spot is a very much a long shot to even get to the title game, let alone win two of those games and win the national title. So it's kind of just like arguing for no reason, but that's always the best reason to argue.
Oh, yeah, that's a lot of fun. Great quote.
Yeah, you mentioned something about that Texas game, and that's actually really interesting to me because when I watched that game, the LSU-Texas game, Texas did look like a good team, and I think that they were a good team at the time, and sometimes teams just start to suck halfway through the year. That's just kind of the nature of sports.
And, yeah, Texas isn't very good right now, but I still think they were good when they played. Does the committee take that into account at all? Are they just like, well, they finished up with a shitty record and they looked very unimpressive in their last couple games, so that loss is going to mean less.
They're supposed to, or at least they claim to. I don't know if that's the case, if they're actually doing it, because Texas did suffer a lot of injuries, particularly on defense during the season that kind of just derailed their season for them.
The offense was, it's funny, because they reassigned their offensive coordinator last week, Tim Beck. He's going to another role.
I don't know. I guess he's too expensive to fire.
But it's oddly, it's ironic because Texas' offense, if you look at all their stats, is actually better this year than it was last year. So I just feel like somebody's head had to roll because in the secondary, they had a lot of injuries.
Todd Orlando, who's a very good defensive coordinator, was fired because of it because, again, heads had to roll. He'll be getting another job quickly.
I think that, yeah, to your point, Texas was a better team in September than it definitely was in November, and the committee probably should consider that. I just, you know, recency bias is a hell of a thing, so I don't know if they actually are.
Yeah, it's crazy that Ohio State's non-conference Cincinnati win is bigger than LSU's non-conference Texas win. All right, so the Bears are back on.
This is halftime, so I'm going to ask one more question. Seek Geek question.
Promo code TAKE, you get $10 off. Give us, when we wake up on Sunday morning, the final four, and then also maybe give the AWLs a Tom Fornelli lock that they can bet on on Saturday because you are a sharp.
So give us both those things. My top four.
Can I just give a lock real quick first? I love the under in the Ohio State-Wisconsin game. Oh, okay.
There we go. Okay, so Tom Fornelli's lock lock right there? I just want – no, just – Oh, okay.
Sorry, Tom. That's the Hank Lockwood lock of the week.
All right, so your final four. By the way, that's going to – there's going to be people who don't – I think the Tom Fornelli-Henry Lockwood rivalry is one of my favorite rivalries in all of sports.
Oh, yeah. And there are still so many people that don't understand it and will get pissed off when you guys will subtly do something on Twitter and everyone will be like, what the fuck? Yeah, like when Tom stole Hank's awesome tweet about the Game of Thrones thing.
Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. He had filters on his pictures.
They were different tweets. Yeah.
They were different tweets. Hank had filters, okay? It's true.
It's tweets. It's true.
All right, so final four and then lock of the week.

My final four, Ohio State at one, LSU at two,

we Clemson at three, and then I think Utah will be at four

because I do think they beat Oregon,

and I don't think it matters what happens in the Big 12 title game.

And my lock of the week, I agree with Hank.

I really like the under in Ohio State.

Did you already read him say that? Oh. You know I'm a Big Ten guy.
Yeah. I write a comment every week about it.
But it's simply because, like, Justin Fields got bagged up in that game last week. And he can't run exactly.
I don't know how close to Ohio State's offense it's going to be. And then Wisconsin's offense, where's the points going to come from? Jack Cole.
Did you know? Jack Cole, baby. Did you know, Big Cat, in two career games against Ohio State, Jonathan Taylor's averaging 2.7 yards per carry? Yeah, I did.
I did. Graham Mertz, in relief.
So, like, I'll be very surprised if Wisconsin gets more than 14 points. So I just think the under is a very smart play in Indianapolis.
Okay, that's the lock of the week. And I wanted to follow up on FCS.

I know you're a big FCS guy.

Do you think that JMU has a chance to kind of turn back the hands of time

and get some revenge on that 2017 loss to NDSU in the finals?

No, not this year.

Oh, damn.

Damn, it's NDSU's tournament to lose again, huh?

Damn.

Oh, wait, one last thing, Tom.

One last thing.

Go for it.

Okay.

Clemson loses. Damn.
Oh, wait. One last thing, Tom.
One last thing. Go for it.
Okay. Clemson loses.

Utah loses.

Georgia loses.

Oklahoma and Baylor play 13-10 game.

Is it Big 12?

Big 12 game?

Wisconsin wins 59-0.

Do the Badgers get in?

Oh, yeah.

Then it's Ohio State, LSU, Clemson, Wisconsin.

For sure.

Fuck yes.

And then when Wisconsin wins the national title, you can have a parade in Champaign. I will give you that.
I'll give you that. Yeah.
How amazing would it be if a team that lost to Illinois reaches the college football playoff? It would be incredible. Yeah, that would make Lovie Smith pretty much national champion.
Hey, we're watching Mitch Trubisky play competent football, so crazier things have happened. Here comes a pick.
Oh, God. We're going to hang up before that happens.
All right, Tom, thank you so much. Everyone go follow Tom at Twitter, at Tom Fornelli.
He's the best. He's got picks.
Oh, oh! Patterson. Cordell.
Oh! Okay.

All right.

That was us just live grunting a 50-yard pass for the Bears.

All right, Tom.

Thanks so much, man.

Later.

Love you, guys.

Love you.

Love you, Tom.

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And now, Lindsey Vonn.

And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on former Olympian, Lindsey Vonn. You know her.
She's been probably... Actually, would you say you're the most famous winter Olympian in America? I don't know about most famous, but most successful.
Nancy Kerrigan. Tanya Harding's pretty famous.
Not for good reasons. No, not for good reasons, no.
I feel like your Q rating is very high, though. Everyone knows Lindsey Vonn.
I always feel weird introducing people where it's like, you know who this is. It's Lindsey Vonn.
Oh, thanks. I mean, I hope you know who I am.
I don't know. You have a documentary coming out on HBO tomorrow night.
And it goes, goes you know you just retired what a year ago um february okay so not even a year less than a year um how weird is it that you have like like having that transition where you're not skiing every day it's weird and it's also weird to say like former skier you know like former olympian it's it's like past tense is really bizarre but it's been a it's it's been a rough go like the especially the first month two months i was really having a hard time like finding my way and i even though you know it's coming it's still so much different than you expected and everyone had advice and some of which was like really concerning they're like well just get used to doing nothing i'm like um that's not how i want to do it at all right and then some people are like you know you'll be depressed for a long time but you'll get over it i'm like what but it's balance you know i'm figuring it out it's it's life's a lot different now but it's good yeah have you found that you enjoyed not being cold all the time because you don't have to go up on a mountain? You know what? I treated one cold sport for another. Now I'm watching PK play hockey, and I'm in an indoor freezer, basically.
That's what I did. So I was outdoors freezing my ass off, and now I'm indoors freezing my ass off.
You spend a lot of time with your dog, too. Yes.
That's cool. So Lucy's here in the studio with us.
Yeah. Lucy is probably more famous than I am.
How many followers on Instagram? Yeah, let's see. 40,000.
40,000? Now, do you do... Does she have a Twitter account too? No.
I mean, I could do a Twitter internal monologue. You know, maybe that would be funny.
I don't want to judge, but do you do the thing where you speak for Lucy on the Instagram? Yes, I do. Oh, no.
Yeah, I do. Oh, no.
Because it's like funny. Is it Is it not funny? It's, okay, alright.
No, no, I'm not gonna judge. I'm not gonna judge.
Look it up and see if it's funny. You can tell me.
Be straight with me if it's funny or not. Like, haha, mom loves to, like, pet my belly.
What's the handle? Lucy. LOL.
No, it's, so I changed it. It was Vondogs.
Now it's Sue Vondogs, because, you know, PK had to be loved. Okay.
S-U underscore Vondogs. Yep.
So they all share an Instagram handle. I was going to do Everybody Loves Lucy, but I didn't want to exclude my other two dogs.
That would be... So really, she's only got like 12,000 followers because she shares the Instagram handle.
Well, I mean, technically, she was in a commercial and she's kind of a big deal. My dog's verified.
Is there any... Oh, your dog's verified? Actually, I don't know.
My dog's not verified? No, it's not. He's not? I need to get verified.
Damn it. No, Leroy's not verified.
How many does Leroy have? Leroy has 28,000 on Instagram. But on Twitter, he's got like 74,000.
But it's because... But see, that's you talking their voice.
Well, no, I don't. I don't.
Leroy does. Leroy breaks news.
If you want to train your dog to break news, we could probably bump that up a couple grand. Lucy just got her ear to the ground and finding out all the juicy details.
So wait, do your other dogs get jealous that Lucy gets all the shine? Yes. Because I was saying before, I was looking through my tweets, times I've mentioned you, you adopted Leo, who's a brindle, who looks exactly like my adopted dog, Stella.
And I think that we should hook them up. Are they like boyfriend and girlfriend? Yeah.
Oh, cute. Yeah, yeah, we should hook them up.
That's Stella right there on the right. Oh, cute.
What? Actually, that painting looks just like me. Yeah, it's pretty good.
Yeah, they would be a good couple.

Yeah.

So the documentary, can you walk us through why you did it, what people are going to see, different side of you? Well, I originally thought it would be kind of a great way to close my career and have this swan song where I break the record and be all happy and great. And then three days into shooting, I tore my LCL, had a big crash and basically was trying to figure out how to salvage anything from the season.
So it was a bit of an emotional roller coaster to say the least. Like I'm crying and a solid portion of it.
And then it also kind of goes through my family's history and how, you know how much they sacrificed and what it was like for them. So it's definitely a unique perspective and a lot that I haven't ever shared before.
Right. But also a lot in the hospital that was pretty crazy and some of the procedures we did.
And it's a little gory at times. Ooh.
Yeah. We get to see, That sells tickets though, yeah.
There's some stuff in there I can't tell you. How many knee injuries have you had? Knee injuries? I've had one, two, three, four, five, six.
Six what? Surgeries on my knees. Holy shit.
How many times have you turned your ACL? Twice. Oh my God.
Two ACLs, MCL, meniscus a bunch of times, a bunch of orthoscopic cleanups, my LCL reconstruction. Do you feel that pain day to day? Yeah.
I mean, if I'm standing for a long period of time, if I'm sitting, I have a hard time standing up. Interesting.
Did they do the graft or did they do the other kind of surgery? So the first surgery, my ACL was replaced with my hamstring, which re-ruptured, and then it was replaced with my patella tendon. It's weird.
It's a weird dynamic because when you think about other sports, the hockey, football, you see guys get hit so hard so you know like, oh oh they're probably having trouble waking up on monday morning whereas skiing just as taxing but people do it as their you know free time fun hobby and then you're out there having just insane crashes and knee injuries it's it's crazy yeah i mean it's it's definitely a little different than you weekend stroll. But we had this analogy, or Bodie Miller had this analogy, where imagine for us, ski racing is if you're driving in a car going 85 miles an hour, just jump out of it.
And that's what it feels like to us. Damn.
No, thank you. Yeah.
I'm smart enough to not do that. In a a lycra suit with um really no padding you have those moments when you're crashing where you're like oh fuck yeah this is gonna suck yeah because it a lot some of those crashes go for a while yeah you know like when you're crashing you're like i try i try to keep my body in a position where it's not gonna be as bad like if i see an object coming that going to hit, I try to like move my body to avoid it.
But I mean, sometimes you're just so screwed. We give every skier that we have on this podcast 30 seconds to bash snowboarders.
So do you want to go ahead and just kind of rip into them a little bit? No, I don't want to. But they suck.
They suck. They're like stoners.
They think that they're cooler than skiers because it looks like it's a skateboard, but it's not. There's so many things I want to say.
Do it. Go off.
We'll cut this part. No, my only gripe is that I wish I didn't stop in the middle of the trail or underneath a knoll or something, and then we run over them.
It's just dangerous. It's really dangerous.
Because they're smoking and they're hanging out. It's like pull off to the side so we don't hit each other.
Right. And also when you're, you know, because they can only see kind of to one side.
So just be conscious of where you are. They don't think they're in the X Games.
Like, oh, I'm going to do this fucking sick Ollie. I mean, Sean White's a good friend of mine.
Yeah, yeah, the tomato can. No, the flying yeah yeah the tomato can no the flying tomato tomato can could you tell the difference if i put you at the top of a mountain in colorado and then at the top of a mountain in austria could you be able to tell like okay this is european uh most likely yeah what's the difference between european snow so it it's it's different it's lower altitude like europe is generally all much lower altitude than the west west coast skiing so the snow is kind of in between west coast and east coast okay if if you will and west coast um it's more dry like much drier uh especially colorado utah rado is what you call it colorado rado is what the locals call it rado rado yeah i don't I'm going out.
Rado is what you call it. Colorado? No, Rado is what the locals call it.
Rado. Rado, yeah.
I don't. Going out to Rado.
You ever spend any time in Rado? I live in Rado. You don't know what Rado is, okay.
I live in Vail, Colorado. No, you live in Rado.
Would you say, I have one last question. Would you say you're an adrenaline junkie? 100%.
I like that. Absolutely.
I am as well. That's an issue, actually.
It's a problem. Oh, it is.
Yeah. I mean, what am I going to do now? Like, there's only so many speeding tickets one can get.
Let me see your phone. Your phone? I don't have my phone here.
Do you have a case on it? Yeah. Take off your case.
That's adrenaline. No, that's just unnecessary risk.
At any given second, I could drop drop this adrenaline well oh you have a new one yeah not a little it's a brag but uh yeah take off the case of your phone it's adrenaline every single day because you're just like oh shit i could drop it and you and then if you don't but then you're gonna have to if you do drop it and break it you're gonna have to go wait in line at the apple store no you just i the my old phone i just changed was just smashed to like bits and i just had it smashed that's not that's like not a fun adrenaline oh that's fun because then you have the adrenaline of maybe cutting your finger on the glass it's fun but i i agree with you that if you do break it and you have to go wait in line at the apple store that is the least adrenaline thing that exactly. So it's like the reward is not high for that.
You're not a real adrenaline junkie. I would like to jump out of an airplane.
That's what I would like to do. You've never done that? No.
You're not a real adrenaline junkie. PK won't let me.
What do you mean? Tell him he's got to jump out. He's like, I don't want you to die.
People don't die jumping out of airplanes. Yeah, they do.
People have died jumping out of airplanes. Yeah, they do.
People have died doing everything. That's true everything That's true actually That's a very valid point Yeah If you have a case On your phone You never jumped out Of an airplane You are not a true Adrenaline junkie I swim with sharks And I skied at 85 miles an hour I think I trump you Can you Can you Overdose on adrenaline Have you ever And then just stop sweating No Oh Okay I've heard you Prince Andrew said Yeah no He said that he overdosed on adrenaline yeah he was fighting in uh the falkland island war and he got shot at and then he said that he stopped sweating for like 10 years i mean i would love to stop sweating yeah just go fight in the falkland island throw your phone at a wall yeah i'm gonna bring this home with a really good question here so you live in colorado rado rado uh you're in the thin air all the time when you get down at sea level with us plebs are you just like high off oxygen all the time because the air is so sweet so much easier is it soupy no when i'm in altitude because my house in vale is at almost 10 000 feet and i get headaches and like my eyes are always dry and like it actually is not that fun to live at that altitude.
So I will say it's like really nice to live at sea level. How tough is it? Is it really hard to bake shit in Colorado because you have to follow those special instructions? It's a little bit more difficult but it's not that bad.
I never actually look at the time. I just i you know pop my head in the oven and see what's up don't keep your head out that's adrenaline very dangerous i think i've proven myself yes um all right lindsey vaughn thank you so much check out her new documentary on hbo uh you can watch everything on demand now tomorrow yeah it's coming out tomorrow november 27th 6th 6th i know the date today that was good But yeah, check it out on demand now.
It's coming out tomorrow, November 27th. I know the date today.
That was good. Check it out on demand anytime you want.
Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
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CBDMD, don't worry about it. Okay.
That's a great tagline, isn't it? That is. Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it, man. Honestly, I would buy any product that just said, just chill out.
We got you. Yeah.
Just pop it. It'll be fine.
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All right, let's do some segments, wrap up the week. Next week, by the way, we have one of the biggest interviews we've ever done.
Just a little teaser. Was that next Friday? Yeah, next Friday.
I would say our biggest interview. Better than it ever could have went to.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I wish it was.
It was good. It was good.
The only thing. Yeah, it was bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't completely exceed my expectations.
It was okay completely exceed my expectations. It was okay.
The only thing I would have won is more time because it was that much fun. All right.
Fire Fest of the week. Hank, you got this, man.
Yeah, I actually have one this week. So obviously I don't live at the office.
I have to commute to the office every day. And the other day.
We know you don't. The other day I got into into my train subway platform i stepped in a puddle and my sock got soaking wet and then after waiting for like three or four minutes my whole train they just were like oh the train's not coming the station's shut down or whatever so i had to walk like two blocks in the cold get on a different train walk...
Two? Are you okay? I had to walk like three blocks to get to the office as opposed to like zero. So that's a net total of five blocks that you had to increase.
It was probably like 20 minutes. It sucks just not being able to get to the office on time.
I will say having a wet foot will ruin your day. Wet foot is worse than spraining an ankle, which is worse than a break.
I would rather have my foot chopped off than have my sock be wet all day. Yes.
So, yeah, commuting to work, my fire fest. Although wet socks, shout out K.
Marco's drink book. He had me do my 10 hangover cures.
One of them was there was a time in my life where I read that if you wore wet socks to bed, it would hydrate your body through your feet. Does that work? Did not.
That sounds like one of those things that you see at the bottom of an article on Yahoo. It's an illustration.
It says, here's one cure for the common cold. It's like, put an onion inside your sock.
What were the other tips, Big Cat? Well, I don't want to give away all of them because you should go buy it at the Barst sports store but uh one of them i had i convinced myself i read another thing where if you eat a banana drink an entire 20 ounce diet coke and and have two advil right before you go to bed you'll be completely fine when you wake up also didn't work that didn't work i like to i like pediolite the thing is it's an age pickle You just start chasing age, and you can't reverse time, and that's what ends up happening.

I mean, the best cure for a hangover is to just not stop drinking.

Yeah, that's true.

Never get hangover.

There you go. You're the dog.

All right, PFT, what's your fire fest?

My fire fest of the week is something I just experienced today on my way into the office.

No, I got dibs on that.

Oh, traveling?

To the office, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. So find find a new one my new fire fest is just leaving the airport oh is leaving the airport uh la guardia was so packed today i got off the plane i was already delayed by probably four hours today got off the plane was stranded outside i think i took a private jet no we took a private jet to columbia then we flew back commercial.
By the way, I flew a private jet, and you're complaining about travel. I see what you're saying.
I'm ruined when it comes to traveling from now on. Every time I go to an airport, I'm just going to be saying facts to the person next to me about how flying commercial is different in certain circumstances than a private jet.
It's like, well, if we were flying private, we wouldn't have to worry about this line for security. It would be insufferable yeah yeah i remember when i flew my first private jet like seven years ago yeah this is my first time so but i was stranded at la guardia two hours to get a lift and it actually looked like a fire fest there were tents set up there were hundreds of people everyone was waiting for about an hour hour and a half two hours they were yelling at each other there were fights they were like assaulting lift drivers for taking too long to pick them up so it took me probably a grand total of three and a half hours to get from the airport to the office as uh part of my take sports biz intern jake helpfully pointed out i could have made it to the office faster if i'd walked yeah that sucks there's nothing worse than relatable i mean i'm with you me and you pft yeah yeah la is hell on earth.
LaGuardia is hell on earth. The moral of the story is just don't have a job.
Yeah, don't go anywhere. All right, my fire fest.
Now, bear with me because it's going to sound like it's been a good week for me. But hold on.
Come on. Yeah.
Ready? The Bears won. The Bulls are on a two-game winning streak.
The Blackhawks won.

The Cubs finally cut that scumbag Addison Russell.

Wisconsin beat Minnesota.

They're going to beat Ohio State.

Things are going too well for me in my sports world.

So my fire fest is the other shoe's going to drop,

and it's going to drop hard.

You think it's Ohio State?

That's the big shoe? I would say that there's a chance, yeah, between between the badgers and the bears i might not win another football game of the year like it might just go i don't know the bears everything just fall apart but you know when you feel a little too good it's like this isn't how it's supposed to be that's how like the last two years of my life has been with washington dc sports right big wizard yeah big wizards fan has been killing it yeah exactly no i i hear you because you always you're not used to this You're looking around.C. sports.
Right. Big Wizards fan.
Big Wizards fan. Has been killing it.
Yeah, exactly. No, I hear you because you always, you're not used to the success.
You're looking over your shoulder like, wait, is there someone, is Ashton Kutcher about to pop out and say, ha-ha, just a joke? Yeah, Hank, how do you deal with this? How do you deal with continued success by your teams without feeling like it's going to all stop? Are you flinching, wondering, uh-oh, is this going to end? Yeah, sometimes, but you've just got to believe. I think you just have to become a huge asshole to anyone that hates on your team.
Okay. And then that's how you continue the success, right? Yeah, well, it's like when you're in a city of champions, it can just all come back to the fact that the sport being based in Boston means that the team is going to overcome all obstacles.
Hey, as someone who has a football team that is probably going to go deep in the playoffs as well, I too am afraid of meeting the Ravens in the Super Bowl. Yeah, I mean, likewise.
I'm afraid. I think the one team that can take the Redskins down in the playoffs is probably the Bears.
Yeah, I mean, it's the Bears and the Ravens are scary, scary teams. All right, we've got a couple other segments that we'll do some FAQs to wrap up.
First up, speaking of which, Hank, trouble in paradise. Tom Curran wrote an article today talking about this being possibly more than likely, more likely than not.
More probable than not. More probable than not.
Tom Brady's last year in New England. He said that essentially the team has not been able to reach a contract with him he is an unrestricted free agent and also has in his contract he can't be franchise tagged at the end of the first time right yeah so Hank thoughts my thoughts are I like Tom Curran a lot but sometimes he does like the Florio thing where he plays semantics he knows what he's doing when he puts these articles out there because I think in his heart of heart he doesn't actually believe any of this.
You don't think he's leaving? But Hank, remember, he sold his house. He did.
He sold one of his many houses probably. Okay, here's my question to you, follow-up question.
I would agree with you that this feels like a yearly thing now. I will say one thing though.
If Tom is going to go somewhere, it's going to be based around the TB12

because there's been a lot more promotion this year

with the TB12, him and Guerrero's thing,

and they're opening up these different places

What states have the most relaxed incest laws?

What states have FDA restrictions as loose as possible?

But the only way to leave is if he's like,

it's going to immediately help my business.

Okay, so...

But he's not going to do that.

Okay, so what would be the worst team for him to go to?

For you, personally? Colts? Giants? No, somewhere in the AFC. Steelers? The Dolphins.
Anywhere where you have to see him twice a year. What's the weirdest jersey he could be in? I was actually thinking about this the other day because somebody just put the take out there.
What if he went to Dallas? What if him and Josh McDaniels went to Dallas? And I closed my eyes and I tried to picture Tom Brady in a Dallas Cowboys uniform and I couldn't do it. The Vikings? The Vikings? It's unphotoshopped.
The Vikings is a good one. The Cardinals? The Cardinals? I could see him rocking a Cardinals helmet.
The Bucs? Bucs, yeah. The Bucs would be gross.
That would be so weird. It will be very, very weird if that happens.
Speaking of hot takes, shout out Florio, because did you see that tweet he had today where he just said, just a random thought popped in my head. Andrew Luck might be the starting quarterback for the Las Vegas Raiders in 2020.
And he was like, this is based on nothing. But I just wanted to put it.
At least he admitted that he just made it up in his own brain. He goes directly from his brain.
He's got a direct line to his Twitter account. He's so stir crazy right now.
It's awesome. Andrew Luck in Vegas.
I don't know. Chris Bird would have a field day with the Luck Be A Lady and all that shit.
Mike Florio is the definition of a beautiful mind never rests. He just can't be sitting still for more than two seconds.
Otherwise, he's going to have a guy come out of retirement and play for a team that's moving cities to Las Vegas. But as he proved on this show with Eli Manning, it's that kind of thinking that creates.
Good point. All right.
We haven't explained it to Hank. Hank, you want to have the Mets' new ownership explained to you.
Yeah. So it seems, I don't know, it just seems like all Mets fans for years and years and years, sell the team, sell the team, sell the team, and then borderline it got swept under the rug, and it was just like snap.
The team is sold, and everything is cured. Yeah.
That's how it works. To a guy, Stephen Cohen, who seems like pretty much the biggest baller of all time.
Why would they sell the team, though? Isn't it just like it's free money? Well, I think the Wilpons, they lost a lot of money in the Madoff thing, and it seems like no one likes them. So the weird part is they got like a sweetheart deal where they get to pretend to be owners for the next five years without having to seems like pay any of the bills kind of like us with the new zealand breakers yeah okay yeah exactly so um but this guy steven cohen he has he's on on the record of having the biggest fine of all time by the sec and i'm not talking about the conference, he's got these compounds all over the place.
Where it's like Jordan Belfort shit? Yeah. I don't know exactly the details, but I think he can't.
Legally, I don't think he can trade anymore. So he just bought a baseball team, and I think he's the richest baseball owner in MLB now.
$16 billion. He's richer than the Lerner? He's $16 billion net worth.
Okay, yeah. Pretty, pretty big.
Well, I mean, you would probably think that someone who's not allowed to execute bad trades is probably good for the Mets, right? Yeah. Is their GM still an agent, though? Yes.
Yeah, I think... So what does it solve? That's the other point to me.
What exactly does the new ownership solve? It's fresh blood. It's fresh blood in the building, and I think that any time that you have a shitty owner for a really, really long time, you will literally take anyone else in the world but that same shitty owner.
He's four times as wealthy as Ted Lerner. Okay.
So he's very wealthy. I was actually looking it up because I was just curious what Tom Ricketts, and obviously the Google, who the fuck knows, Tom Rick is is just shy of a bill uh-huh steven cohen has 16 bill the fact that he owns various compounds across the nation that to me seems like he's a cool guy with nothing to hide nothing to hide he's got i was looking through i just searched his houses and he has like he it seems like he has a house on every block in new york city yeah uh just stash away once you once you start calling your house a compound.
Well, yeah, the Greenwich City compound. That's another level of.
It's quite large. And I guess he's going to spend a ton of money.
I don't know. I always assume with owners, like owners, really, really rich owners, they buy teams and they say they're going to spend a ton of money.
And then they spend a ton of money. And then if the team doesn't win, they're like, wait, why am I doing this? because they're always somewhat savvy businessmen who don't like losing money right so if the mets don't perform he's gonna be like fuck this right it also just becomes like a nice toy for a billionaire to have at some point like later on their life they're like i want to stay involved in a business of some sorts but i also just really like sports and sports are cool so i'm just gonna get like a three billion dollar toy right and play with and fuck around right so how many people in the world do you think could buy a major league baseball franchise tax them eat them alive how many people though um that's i was just doing my my uh twitter that was a remake of everyone on twitter these days tax bill gates a billion dollars dollars.
Send guillotines to the Mets. Do those people realize that none of these rich, rich guys when it says their net worth, it's not liquid? Bill Gates doesn't have $20 billion in cash.
If Bill Gates wanted to get all this cash wouldn't he just destroy the world economy? Right, exactly. So if we tax them I'm all for for taxing the super, super rich more.
Oh yeah. But if we wanted to tax them everything they had, they would destroy the economy.
What about, so... But tax them.
But the weird thing about Bill Gates is if he wanted to, he's reached a point in life where everything that he owns is so valuable that there's nobody that's able to buy what he owns. Yeah.
It's like one of those weird paradoxes. You're so rich that you're not rich anymore.
Right. Yeah, right.
You can't even converse with regular human beings. Right.
You can't sell what you have because no one's able to even afford it. Do you think he buys like $50 milk cartons just because? Oh, yeah.
If Bill Gates didn't wear Velcro shoes, I would be shocked. What do you think Bill Gates does all day? If he's not working.
Wig shopping on's not working is he just i know he goes uh he hangs out bud sealig at their barber that they share hey it's that's building new compounds building new compounds yeah compound life like i can't imagine bill gates waking up bill gates also like it doesn't leave money for his kids like the most fucked up part you think bill gate wouldn't it be hilarious if Bill Gates woke up and drank coffee and then sat on the toilet just trolling people on Twitter with a burner account?

That would be great.

I hope he does.

He probably has some sort of...

That would be the most stars are just like us.

Like the people that are like Steve Jobs greater than Bill Gates.

Yeah.

And he's just like...

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's like...

Well, actually.

Yeah.

Right.

Because at the end of the day, he's still human.

Steve Jobs would be nothing without Bill Gates.

Right.

So he probably does get a little pleasure from just sitting on the pot and maybe going

Thank you. and he's just like, well actually right, because at the end of the day he's still human so he probably does get a little pleasure from just like sitting on the pot and you know, maybe going on private mode and firing up UGES you think he's really into porn? I don't know, but like it's funny to think about the basic human necessities like trolling on Twitter and looking at porn you know, the things that we need to live.
There's more that unites us than divides us, after all. He probably just has, like, an Excel spreadsheet that he pulls up every morning and just sees how many lives he's saved in Africa with his, like, malaria campaigns and, like, digging wells and stuff.
It's poop water. Yeah, so while he's taking a shit, he just reminds himself how he's basically a superhero.
Right. Because he saved, like, 100,000 lives.
That's pretty sweet. That must after you look at like oh i saved a hundred thousand people's lives today yeah i've earned i've earned the right to rub this one out to tiana trump good good for me good for me he i would i would honestly think of bill gates as like he's more like ava adams like big tits kind of guy you think a Ava Adams? He's got, he definitely is into, like, he's searching 36 quadruple Ds.
I like Ava Adams, but she's almost, like, a little too top-heavy. Okay, let's not shame.
I'm just saying she's very top-heavy. As a top-heavy person myself.
She probably can't drive. Her boobs get in the way of her hands reaching the steering wheel.
She has to drive, her feet top heaviness is a problem um all right oh one last one before we do faqs king stay kings steven a smith losing his radio show for steven a smith he got replaced by himself he got replaced by himself hank they're doing reruns of steven a smith from what he said that morning yes they're rebroadcasting so they mayroadcasting it. So they take him off his radio show, but they're putting a radio host in his slot who will facilitate just going in and out of Stephen A.
Smith clips. Kings stay kings.
So the radio host will be like, and this is what Stephen A. Smith had to say this morning about LeBron James taking his shoes off and running on the court.
Finesse King. Let's kick it to Stephen A.
Smith. Finesse King.
So his radio show is... Give me the $10 million.
Oh, I got to do a radio show? Yeah. The takes that he gives on TV are also his radio show, and he's getting paid for both.
It's incredible. I mean, when I read that article, I was like, this guy has it all.
So Stephen A. Smith, way to go.
Kings stay kings. All right, FAQs.
Before, quick shout-out. I tweeted this, but Weishfest is going on in Chicago on Friday night.
We've been associated with them for a long time. They have a great charity.
It's a huge concert at Bourbon Street. You can buy tickets still, weishfest.com.
All the proceeds go to child cancer cancer adolescent cancer so do it great cause i'll pin the tweet if you want to check it out uh some of the guys carl chuck naso they were they were teammates with him uh so it's a great cause we've been talking about it forever but go check it out please great concert friday night do it do it uh hank faqs uh yes i mentioned in fantasy fuck boys uh but we asked people to send because everyone was tweeting us they're like Spotify uh records of how many hours and minutes and stuff they listened and it was just brutal because I was just doing all this mental math in my head it was a lot of numbers right how many hours are in a week Hank How many hours are in 23,000 minutes? 60 minutes.

Wait. Hours are in a week, Hank.
How many hours are in 23,000 minutes?

60 minutes.

Wait.

This is too much.

800.

Wait, wait.

2,300?

40.

It's like 400.

This is my whole point. As I was going through the mentions and stuff, everyone was tweeting it.

I was like, wait a second.

Was this person listening for 700 hours? I think they just make those up. Yeah, it was crazy.
But for FAQs, what does FAQ even stand for? Frequently Asked Questions. I thought we were going to fake and say something different.
You want to redo that one? No, no, no. That's fine.
What does FAQ stand for? It stands for fuck and queef. Everyone knows that.
Oh, by the way, speaking of the Spotify thing, I'm involved in a Spotify war right now with somebody that has access to my account that's had it for the last probably four or five years. I saw somebody wrote an article about this too, but I've been going through it.
Someone in El Salvador has my login. I haven't bothered to switch it for the last like four years so when it shows me what i listen to it's like a lot of what i listen to but then half of them are bands that i've never heard of that play like salsa music so it's a passive war it's a passive you can easily win it yeah just changing your password but every now and again i listen to what the other person's listening to it and it's happy music i'm'm like, it sounds like they're having a great time.
My top bands were, I think it was like Fish, Queens, The Stone Age, but for two years in a row, I had Ariana Grande as a top song. That's pretty cool.
I had Kesha on mine. Nice.
Her new album is awesome. It's not new anymore, but it's fucking awesome.
Two years old. Christmas album.
She has a Christmas album? She's got a new single out, yeah. Really? Mm-hmm.
Fuck, man. She's so awesome.
Once a service industry employee is no longer on the clock or is out of uniform, et cetera, at what point is it okay to confront a terrible customer in a normal social setting about how much of a pain in the ass they are? I don't think so. I think, no.
Yes, do it. I don't think you can.
Do it all the time. I think it's tough.
Out of uniform in the same building, I think it's still tough.

You just run the risk.

Okay, so in life, everyone knows the people who are a pain in the ass when it comes to service staff.

It just sucks.

Everyone knows that one guy.

You probably have one friend or a friend of a friend.

If you go out to dinner, they'll always complain, and it's embarrassing, and it's terrible. Don't be that guy.
But the problem is that guy is also the guy who has no problem saying, I want to talk to your manager, and elevating the issue. So they're one in the same.
That person is one in the same. They're also probably the president of their homeowners association and email you when you leave your lawnmower out in front of your house for more than two hours.
Here's what you have to do. Okay.
If you're a server, if you're in the service industry and there's a problem customer, what you're going to want to do is confront them in civilian attire. So yes, not wearing your uniform, but find out where they work and then go into their work and then figure out something they're doing wrong and then get mad at them and pay it forward to them yes yes so yeah i would say just be tread lightly because that does feel like a situation where you will get fired a hundred times out of a hundred yeah i mean really the moral is like if you're being paid to be there then you can then that person has to take all the shit that they get right so.
So just if you find them when they're on the clock,

they have to take it or else you can escalate it to their manager.

Right. And then maybe the two managers can talk.

Right.

Exactly.

I hate our employees.

This person says they listened for 150 hours this year,

usually while I'm taking a morning shit,

which I guess if you, it's like half an hour shit a day.

Yeah.

I mean, morning time sometimes, you know, you linger,

you fall asleep, take a little nap. Follow up.
Do you guys shit before showering or are you psychos and do it after uh i i shit when i have to shit wait why would i say something so controversial yet so brave do you guys shit before showering or are you psychos who do it after shower no never after i mean i tried to before but no i just shit when i have to shit if you shit after you then get back in the shower that's crazy that will stick with you for the rest of the day like that that's something if you especially if you're wet come on no also my morning is timed out so like everything is based on when i get out of the shower i have a time so i know when i have to leave and it all kind of backs up to the shower if If I get out of the shower and then I have to ship my entire morning is

ruined.

Yeah,

but it's not planned.

That's can't do that.

You got it.

It's a wild card for this person says they've listened for 12 hours on

Spotify,

which 12,000 hours,

which can't be true.

I think they mean minutes.

Their follow-up question was have Stella and Leroy met.

Yes.

Multiple times.

Your boyfriend and girlfriend.

Yeah.

They're,

they're funny. They're cane and Xbox.
That's's right yeah uh this person says they listen at work but i'm the assistant of the ceo for the company he also doesn't have a door so i play this sadistic game where i try as hard as possible not to laugh i've been told my pmt time facial expressions holding back laughter are legendary he says he's listening for 800 minutes um Shout out that guy. Outside of any sort of reunion setting, is it ever not douchey to wear a class ring or sports championship ring of any level to a random social event? Well, if you went to Texas A&M or Notre Dame, you have to do it so that you can let everyone know that you went to those universities.
Or if you're Frank Underwood. Yeah, Harvard too.
if you win a super bowl in which you played significant minutes i think you have to wear that almost every time you go out because people are going to be disappointed if you don't wear it or on the flip side if you win a super bowl and you had zero to do with it also you have to wear it every time out yes in fact there was this one dude that i sat next to for i think like three or four different Washington Capitals games, and he had this big NBA Finals ring on, and at the fourth game I asked him, hey, what's that from? He was like, oh, he's a referee back in the 1998 Finals, and he wears it all the time. Love it.
If you're an official for a Super Bowl or a championship series, yes, wear it all the time. All the time.
Sup, Vax, commentator, and drug cat. I listened for 3,952 hours this year and mostly on the bus.
Again, it's got to be minutes. Are you guys going to bench during every in-studio interview now? Well, we still don't have the bench press set up.
Yeah. Probably not everyone.
He was with PFT during his Fyre Festival. But, yeah, it'll be in here next week i'm so excited you sure i can guarantee because you kind of told me it was gonna be in here last week or this week yes yeah we were gonna do it today and then spider didn't get back and i don't even care at this point i think it's actually kind of like the jimmy kimmel matt damon joke and just keep pretending we're going to get a bench press.
The plates just came in today. That's what I was waiting for.
It must be super expensive to ship weights. Yeah.
Yeah. Shout out to Mo Bell.
Heaviest thing possible. Yeah.
There's nothing heavier than weights. They made customized, amazing bench press.
It's awesome. We got to get Joe Biden here.
See how much he puts up. His eyes will start bleeding.
You want to do some want to do some push-ups Jack oh man uh last one are you guys worried about this year's home run derby yet no no come on why it is so far away do they tip pitches in the home run derby Jesus Christ like that's I can't even think about come on don't ask stupid questions you know that we're not future guys I think we dodged the one bullet that we're really going to have to worry about last year that was if i was going to put my tongue inside big cat's butthole it was going to be in the year of our lord 2019 christian yalich he's he doesn't have it in him no chance no and pft is right they he needs help from the center fielder with the with uh or the right fielder thing yeah or theder. Or anyone.
I need to see video of his eyes before I can confirm. Yes.
All right. That's our show.
We'll see everyone on Monday. Football.
Embrace it. Not much left.
What do you guys want to do for the cover? For the cover of a live podcast? Do it right now? Okay, let's see. So for the artwork on Monday's podcast.
He made an awesome snow one for when there's a snow game, but there's no snow in the forecast for this weekend.

What if it's snowmen made out of footballs?

What if it's...

No, we're going no snow theme.

We're going to use that for when it's a snowy weekend.

Okay, we should have it be the bracket,

because it's the Final Four is coming out for college football,

and it could be me, PFT, Leroy, and Stella in each of the spots. And what about footballs, though? There should be footballs on them somewhere.
Put a football in the middle. Right in the middle.
Yeah, that would be like the championship. Right.
The winner gets a football. That's an awesome tournament.
All right. Love you guys.
I'm talking away. I don't know what I'm to say.
I'll say it anyway.

Today's another day to find you shying away.

I've been coming for your love.

Take on me.

Take me on. I'll be gone.
You need to watch me. Needless to say, I'm all dissenting But I need someone to wait Further than life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry Say out to me It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me out I'll be gone

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