NFL Week 13 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, Nick Foles Crazy Career And Sad Harbaugh

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have football. You just watched football for five days straight, and we have a recap of all of it.
You're probably sitting in your cube right now, dying after a long weekend of eating and watching football. What is that? Driving.
You're driving. You're in your commute.
Wherever you may be, be careful. That was a good little note there, Hank.
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Today is Monday, December 2nd, week 13. What? What? Lube that up there.
What? What? Huh? Hmm? We start in the Meadowlands where a snowy Alan Blizzard was dumping points as he picked up a precipitation trophy from the snowflakes in the Giants' secondary. Dave Gettleman and Pat Shermer wish they hadn't drank the Kool-Aid from Daniel Jonestown after the rookie quarterback threw three dimes to the other team aaron carter rogers does two things hate his family members and set gold records as he threw for four touchdowns for the third time in his career against the new york football giants packers 31 giants 13 the frozen metal has some spread in baltimore it was La Mardi Gras as Jackson showed flashes of brilliance in Charm City, exposing the 49ers defense for a couple of TDs.
The game came down to the final possession where Tucker had just enough for the game winner and Robbie Golden Girl looks like he's over the hill but could still get fucked. Let us be the last to wish you a happy Turkey Day as Kyle Honey Glaze Shanahan goes home hungry and Harbaugh finally wins a big game on Thanksgiving weekend.
In Charlotte where Darius Vanilla Geist said, check out my hook while my DJ Moore revolves it. He was cooking MC Cafferys like a pound of bacon

as Kyle Allen was playing like do-do-do-do-do-do.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

The Panthers weren't the only team with a cam around

as Dwayne Haskins took a knee instead of a selfie to end this one.

It might be time for the tomato garden for Ron Corleone

as the Panthers' coach's reign could be coming to an end. Redskins 29, Panthers 21.
What? What? What? Up to Pittsburgh, where there's no love lost between these two teams. Devlin Merrill Hodges was a factor quack as the Steelers' new quarterback was calling ducks instead of throwing them.
In memory of their former kicker, Jeff Dwayne Reed, this was the pharmacy bowl, as Bud Jermaine Dupree gave Baker Mayfield indigestion, saying, welcome to my lanta, and Benny Drill Snell put the Browns to sleep late in the fourth, putting an ace bandage rap on their season. The Browns may be Kareem hunting for a new head coach after this season, as the Freddy kitchen sink looks more like a toilet.
Steel 20 the browns 13 in cincinnati where the winless bengals brought their red rifle out of the gun case for the holidays sam darnold wasn't making out with any sixes tonight going scoreless all afternoon as sam donald swatenega no longer is calming and calming uncalming tyler had a boydian slip accidentally accidentally telling the Jets he wanted to score on them, then doing it anyway. Zach Brown Taylor likes his chicken fried, cold spaghetti chili on a Sunday night.
Because no one circles the wagons like the Cincinnati Bengals. Bengals 22, Jets 6.
Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! On the 10-year anniversary of the most famous one-car accident of all time, Robert Tiger Woods ran like he was being chased by his wife carrying a five-iron and a nasty grudge. The Rams Sunday was like a nice round of golf.
Jared, that is, using every play in their bag to bludgeon the cards. Kyler Bill Murray was seeing golfers in the secondary as he looked extra Judge Small standing in

the pocket. Dante Chris Fowler

showed up on game day. Uh,

don't you mean Reese Davis Boom? Yeah,

that's right. Carl Ravitch and

the Rams are back on track. Rams

34, the Cardinals 7.

My name is Sam Monaghan. And I'm Ray Hollowell and we're with PlanC.org out of Honolulu, Hawaii.
On our last excursion together, Ray and I boarded the Kana Lodge, a small fishing vessel out of Haleiwa on the north shore of Oahu. About three miles out, we noticed a dolphin started swimming erratically in front of the boat, you know, crisscrossing, was trying to get our attention, and it did.
What we did, we observed something by one of the buoys out there. Captain Mick thought it might be a monk seal.
We get closer, and then I zoom in with my camera, and I see that it's a dolphin. The dolphin got entangled in the buoy line.
As I jumped in the water and swam close, the other dolphin wasn't around that initially made us notice this dolphin. It was really weak, and when I got close to it, I touched its tail, and it rolled over onto its back and held its breath.
I dove down about four feet, which was where its tail had been locked into this noose. And started cutting it off with the knife I brought.
Slowly cut it off, safely. Didn't hurt the dolphin in any way.
Wasn't sure if the dolphin even was still alive. I touched its stomach, and I could feel its heart still beating.
And I rolled it over. And it rolled over and took a breath.
And popped its head out of the ocean, looked at me above the water, and then looked at me under the water. Then I saw its eyes had been hazy.
The eyes had kind of been hazy, and the eyes kind of focused and saw me, looked at me, and then made a little squeak and swam off. Dolphins 37, Eagles 31.
In Kansas City, where Darwin Hunter S. Thompson went gonzo, making the Oakland Raiders' defense look like they were sniffing ether, Travis Barker Kelsey had the offense in rhythm, doing all the small things, making Derek Carr think another six months he'll be unknown.
Andy Reid didn't have a John Gluten-free diet this Thanksgiving as the Chiefs feasted off the bye. We finish with Patrick Mahomes down on the field.
Patrick. Man, I was all filled up on turkey with all the pictures after Thanksgiving.
I must have ate my dang weight and ketchup at the supper table, but I was munching down on that zone deepness all day. You see, John Gruden, man, I call this guy Tchaikovsky because he looks like a little doll that's busting a nut every time he watches me play.
It was super cool to see

Coach Reed with Guy Fieri showing him all the

hot spots in Kansas City. It's no wonder

Andy was ready to feast on the cupcake

after spending all that time around

Frosty Tips.

Oh,

Chiefs 40, Raiders 9.

Standing

on the corner, Jameis Winston, Tampa, Florida.

Such a fine sight to see.

It's a hose, my lord, hanging down to the floor.

Nick Foles, you have a big pee-pee.

Come on, Gardner.

Your balls are larger.

Foles' pick is so big, it can't get any harder. Bucks 28, Jags 11.
And we finish in Indianapolis where Ryan Gosling Tannehill was really, really good looking as a leading man for the Titans drive. The only way Jacoby Bryant-Persett makes up for his transgressions is with a giant ring as the Colts' window is closing faster than a Jim Ursaie roof.
Derek Cortman Henry used his fat ass to tell Indy, screw you guys, I'm going home, as the Titans used their running back to pick up an important game in the AFC South Park. Oh my god, they killed Adam! Uh, that happened in week two boom titans 31 the colt 17 all right week 13 almost in the books we do have a good one on monday night too we have a good one on monday night but take a deep breath because you are probably coming off a long weekend of football college nfl wall to wall it those stretches.
We have that, too, coming up as well over Christmas break when the bowl games are on. Hell, yeah.
Where you just sort of have this new normal where you're like, yeah, I wake up, I get my coffee, and then there's football. There are also naps involved.
Yeah. But if you spend a weekend taking seven or eight naps, it actually makes you more tired when you get back to work on monday you're like your body right is used to being able to fall asleep with your belly hanging out and your top button unbuttoned you're at least twice a day yeah your muscle has like atrophy and you feel like a weak human being but your brain is as sharp as it has ever been because you just watch football non-stop like you get to the point where you just have watched so much football that you start to get a little bit of the football related injury a little blood coming out of your ears like oh is that my brain leaking no i've just watched so much football it's a all-time water cooler day too yeah monday morning after thanksgiving a lot of hot takes being dropped a lot of is tom brady done this time being spoken so let's just jump into yeah let's jump into the sunday night.
Hank, you weren't here last week. We always do the Sunday night game first.
We do. Give me a panic button update, Hank.
Yeah, go ahead. Give us a panic button update.
The panic button has been taken out of the case. Okay.
Because you did say last week that the Ravens are officially scary to you. Which has been double confirmed today.
And there's a lot of football left, but as of right now, if the playoffs started today, the Ravens would be the one seed and the Super Bowl would go through Baltimore. Yep.
But the Chiefs would be the four seed as of today. The Chiefs, yes.
Oh, okay. So you're saying that.
You're trying to be like, okay, maybe they... We would play the Texans in the second round instead of the Chiefs.
Well, what if the three seed, what if the six seed beats the three seed? The Steelers or the Titans beats the three seed. This is too close to math for my liking on a Monday morning.
Yeah, didn't think about that. But anyway, the Patriots did not look good tonight.
The score was a lot closer at the end. Flu game, though.
Flu game. Tom Brady also, as a guy who dyes his hair just want to shout out tom brady for having a nice new uh paint job there up top well what he used to do is he kept it real tight on the sides like forrest gump almost yeah you couldn't tell that he was going salt and pepper now he's starting to grow that out maybe for a little winter warmth get a little shaggy around the edges and yeah he was looking salt and peppery now it was like it was like jet black almost tonight.
It was a little disconcerting. Yeah, so this game, though, to me...

... a little shaggy around the edges and yeah he was looking salt and peppery now it was like it was like jet black almost night it was a little disconcerting yeah so the this game though to me um as much as it was everyone's going to talk about the patriots tomorrow because that's they that's what happens when the patriots lose everyone talks about it's kind of like when alabama loses it becomes a huge story to me this game was more about the texans finally getting like a big huge win on a prime where it's like, man, you say what you want about the Patriots offense that hasn't looked good all year.
Patriots defense is an unbelievable defense, and the Texans were pretty damn effective against them. Every time I looked up, there was a guy with dreadlocks catching a 40-yard bomb from Deshaun Watson.
Deshaun Watson is electric and also has that beautiful thing where Michael Vick, he's passed the torch from Michael Vick where he'll have at least two or three passes a game where he'll throw it 3,000 miles per hour at a receiver that's five feet away from him. And then he'll throw a dime 60 yards down the field, like drop it into a bucket.
You're like, what's going on here? Yeah, and on the other side, Tom Brady looked kind of dead tonight. He looked like he was the one seeing ghosts.
He was very scared of the Texans' SWAT team linebackers. Yeah, which credit to them because if you dress like a SWAT team before a game, you have to win.
And they won, but you have to win. J.J.
Watt must have been so excited to not be included in that because he would have gone along with it he would have said okay guys i'll get dressed up i'll wear the bulletproof vest which if you're going to wear a bulletproof vest you might want to do it five years ago when aaron hernandez is lining up against you as a linebacker but this time it was very fortunate that jj watt was not on the field because that would have been an all-time screen grab oh yeah and he how pissed do you think jj is right now that he wasn't able to do the whole swat team and then win that big game that's gotta suck i mean yeah he might come back though he was on the sidelines a lot he was on the camera showed him a ton they're keeping a spot for him on the ir right now but the the texans uh all the credit in the world to them they are officially i think the afc is officially uh has like another team even though this is just how the nfl works because what two weeks ago uh the texans got the shit kicked out of them by the ravens and we were like oh man they aren't ready for prime time but the afc has slowly kind of morphed into it's always been the nfc talk about how competitive is now the af AFC has four legitimate division winners that are emerging and then a fifth team in the Bills, which we'll get to later, that also looks like they could make some noise. It's going to be a competitive playoff.
You know what season it is right now? It's coming into focus season. The picture is coming into focus big time.
And, yeah, the only thing that we really know for sure is that the Ravens are really, really good based on the games that the Patriots played against the Ravens and against the Texans and based on the Texans lost to the Ravens. We don't know which team is, like, second best at this point.
All I know is that this was a flu game for the Patriots. So we do right here.
Two things, Hank. Two spin zones on Do Your Pod.
One, it was a flu game. They had to take two planes down there.
Two is the fact that. Thank God they had an extra one just lying around.
Yeah. Yeah.
Where did that second plane come from? It's just sitting in the hangar like, oh, yep. That's our flu.
That's Kraft's game day plane. That's just for the.
Oh, do you want to talk about that? What? The game day plane that goes from Florida to Kansas City. Stress relief.
It's for stress relief. By the way, they kept showing Steve Belichick on the sidelines.
He did not look healthy. No.
I'll say this about Steve. Coming for you.
He needs it. Oh.
What does that mean, Hank? I'm just saying if they cut to you, it's not like they cut to you on the sidelines of a game and be like, oh, there's PFT Compton looking sharp. I would look very sharp.
You had the same style that you have. I'm looking very sharp.
I'm looking very sharp now. He kind of got you there.
He kind of got you there. If you had your hair down and you were wearing a jumpsuit on the sideline, people would definitely screen grab and be like, who's this guy? Yeah, there would be a lot of who's this guy, but there would not be like, that guy's dehydrated.
Steve Belichick looked like he was the plumber on the second plane that went down there just taking care of the bathroom by the way he got you if you're flying if you're flying nine people who all have the flu across the country yeah how does the bathroom situation shake out because you've got i think like maybe two or three bathrooms on that plane what do they pay the flight attendants too you got to get extra pay like time and a half because you're just sitting there in the flu plane yeah that sucks that's really tough maybe they get a client who's also has the flu so it's like or has the flu shot um so hank panic button is out of the closet panic button's out of the closet and as much as as much shit as brady and the patriots are going to get this week if they come out next week and like suddenly beat the chiefs it will all go away is that Sunday night as well it's Sunday afternoon oh it's Sunday afternoon so the the funny thing to me is how narratives work in the NFL and obviously the Patriots get all uh you you can sit here and say they look bad tonight but they still you still have to worry about them in the playoffs because they're Patriots and it's Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and everything they've proven but if you sat here and said uh there's an AFC East team with a great defense a suspect offense and they beat up on really bad opponents and then have lost some of their big games you could be talking about the Bills or the Patriots right if you're a Patriots fan you're telling yourself uh Tom Brady is like a great closing salesperson he doesn't get out of bed for the small deals like a non-divisional game away on the road. Doesn't really matter.
He can still do it in the playoffs when it counts, but now you're starting to think. It's the chemistry.
It's the wide receiver chemistry that's a big concern. They double up Edelman.
It's basically like Brady doesn't like any of his other receivers. Now, do you think now Antonio Brown or Gronk? Any chance? No.
I don't think Gronk can come back. Week 15, I thought.
I read that it would be this week is when he said he was coming back. Oh, yeah, yeah.
But I don't think that he's eligible to come back for some weird NFL rule that nobody understands except for Mike Florio. Too many Gronk cruises that he's already agreed to? Yeah, he's out of the country right now.
He can't. He has too many commitments Super Bowl week.
They looked at his ad deals. Okay.
Let's go to. So panic button is out, but not fully pressed.

I think that's appropriate.

I mean, they're still 10 and 2.

Like that's.

They're still 10 and 2.

You're looking at the panic button.

And you're staring at it.

Hank, you just need to do.

We took it out of the cupboard.

Pulled out of the box.

Wait, was it in the glass enclosure?

Was it in the closet or was in the cupboard?

I think it was buried.

Like, I think you buried it in the backyard.

Yeah.

And you took out a map and you pasted off off a tree after the ravens game and then you're like no i'm not gonna actually take this and then you started breaking the ground tonight and you've you've like dug it up but you haven't brought it in the house right that would be my guess is sitting on like the back porch being like oh it's kind of dirty let's not bring right But next dog's more or less a make a break situation. Yeah.
Next week. Cause if they lose, then it's like next week you wash it off and you put it, you put it next to your bed.
Yeah. Yeah.
Put it on your nightstand. Or you just throw it back out in the backyard.
Yeah. You throw it back in that ditch.
You just forget about it entirely. All right.
Let's do the rest of the slate on Sunday. The, and we'll start with the Cincinnati Bengals have won a football game a football game congrats credit to them roof guy can come off his roof he's so pissed off now i saw that video uh that was the biggest bullshit that he was claiming he was on his roof did you see it no i didn't see he was in an attic in his bar his restaurant jesus that guy had it made he made a man cave and he like we we guessed he just wanted to get away from his family so now he's got the worst sunday scaries because the bengals won and he has to leave his little tree house and go back to his family thinking like oh maybe we'll go oh and 16 i could spend all off season and summer just hanging out at my bar yeah he has to quit being a roof guy that's a tough lifestyle to give up right there yes so thoughts and prayers to him uh once again the bangles prove that they are the best team in the nfl at tanking yep because they win one game that they could afford to win correct they still have a one a commanding one game lead on the what are we calling it the uh the the borough bowl yes uh the chase young slash borough bowl yeah somebody from ohio the young is going to stay in state.
But yeah, it's a good win for them to have because it really did nothing for their placement. And it continued the Cincinnati tradition of helping the Bills get into the playoffs.
Yes, yes. Something that Andy Dalton is very, very good at.
Yes, and the Jets. Now, that was so Jets.
That was so, so Jets. We're going to get to another stereotypical game with the browns and steelers but this is like in the jets dna to have a quarterback who seems like the guy say we're going to run the table the playoffs are still there rattle off three straight wins where they score 34 points in every single game and then go to c and own 11 team and score six points and just piss down their leg I'm sorry Jets fans that is so Jets that is so so Jets and not only that but the Jets now have let two teams that were 0-7 or worse get their first win of the year the Dolphins won their first game of the year against the Jets when they were 0-7 the Bengals are 0-11 and they beat the Jets for their first one of the year.
The Dolphins won their first game of the year against the Jets when they were 0-7. The Bengals are 0-11, and they beat the Jets for their first win of the year.
That's pretty bad. The Jets are medicine.
They're medicine for winless teams at this point. Yeah, not great.
So I don't know. I thought that the Jets did have a chance once Sam Darnold said he was going to run the table.
Once they started doing it, I was thinking maybe. Because we're not Jets fans.
yeah this was just and cincinnati is a weird place to play it always looks 10 degrees colder there than it really is the helmets are cool the helmets are awesome always cool and he's coming back he's very well rested oh he looked great looked happy it was it was it was good to see the bangles i i feel like it's one of those things we root for uh funny things to happen we root for ties ties. We root for weird things.
I don't root for 0-16 because that's just so demoralizing. Yeah.
I was upset when the Browns did it a couple years ago because to me that's always the Lions man to carry. That should be theirs.
Right. Hugh Jackson was like an accelerant for the fire there, and so they should have an asterisk by their 0-16 season because you can put Hugh on on any team and you'll be in danger of losing every game speaking of which hugh has been uh reported to possibly be the new offensive coordinator for the arizona state sun devils i love it so many life lessons he was a great life lessons guy too how quickly you think how many years before hugh undermines herm and gets that job well herm's probably going to have to say you play to win the game to to Hugh a couple times to remind him that's actually what we're trying to do.
Herm is mysteriously in two years going to be like, you know what? The passion is gone for me for coaching. I'm going to be the AD and Hugh's going to be the new coach.
He's like, what happened? And then Hugh's going to finish last in the Pac-12 South six years in a row and still have a job. I mean, Herm seems like he was built to be an AD of a school like Arizona State.
Like, go golfing, schmooze the people. You're doing Hugh Jackson's bidding for him.
Yeah. That's the first thing he's going to do.
He'd be like, Herm, you look good for an AD. What is that supposed to mean? Well, you know, you're a little old for a coach.
Yeah, play 36 holes today, Herm. That's fine.
I'm going to handle the offense, and you've earned some day off. You don't want to recruit.
Come on. Did you see that Andy Dalton, just today, he got into first place all-time for the touchdowns, the all-time touchdown list for the Bengals.
I thought that he would have had that four years ago. Congrats to Andy.
Who knows who he passed for that? A banner year for him. Who would he have passed for that? This is – Dalton is playing for a job next year.
These are tryouts. Chris Collinsworth? Carson? Chris Collinsworth is a wide receiver.
He was a wide receiver. Boomer.
Carson Palmer? Carson Palmer. Yeah, possibly.
No, but then he got hurt. Kimo Von Olhofen or whatever the fuck.
Kind of ended that whole thing. Akili Smith? Yeah.
Maybe. Okay.
Yeah, that's about it. Boomer? Boomer Esiason? Yeah, I said Boomer.
Boomer would have been... I would imagine Boomer's number two.
How pissed do you think Boomer is to be online right now and just have everyone reply, okay, Boomer. Okay, Boomer.
It's tough. Everything.
It's very tough. He's got to be going crazy because he's also an actual Boomer, so he probably doesn't fully understand what's going on, but then also people are saying, okay, Boomer.
It's Boomer squared. socks there was like a hot week where chris berman got on twitter and then and yeah he was on twitter for a little bit and then was like i have no idea what i'm doing we need to do like a history of mark may's twitter i wonder if he's still on twitter mark anderson mark may was ken anderson there you go shockingly more coherent on twitter than he is in real life which is saying something because his tweets sound sound like Peter Gammon's tweets on Aspen.
Yeah, Mark May was definitely a broken links guy. He's a boomer.
Mark May is just like if you're looking for a definition. I think he still is sitting in a studio somewhere where the cameras aren't on.
Yeah. But he and Lou Holtz are just screaming at each other.
They're just yelling at each other, and each other's spit is going into the other guy's mouth.

Making slight digs at each other about Pitt and Notre Dame like anyone cares about either school anymore.

That's all they're doing.

Okay, so that was Jets-Bengals.

Congrats to the Bengals fans.

You deserve this one.

It just sucks to be 0-16, so you won one game, and that's good.

And you still have the first pick.

All right, next up, the hottest team in the nfl possibly the redskins no i was gonna say the titans the tennessee titans 31 colt 17 this is now a derrick henry appreciation podcast i i dropped that nugget last week where uh in games past november 10th since 2017 he is averaging 5.74 yards per carry essentially we get to november and december and people are like i don't want to tackle that anymore he has uh he had 149 yards today and then in his last 16 games 16 games consecutively so going back to last year obviously 1700 yards 18 rushing touchdowns doesn't get talked about as as like one of the top backs but he's up there now that's pretty crazy yeah i mean imagine trying to tackle derrick henry when it's nice outside no and then imagine you know that that feeling that you get have you ever been hit in the ear on a cold day with like a football or a soccer ball or something like that that's like your entire body when you're trying trying to tackle Derrick Henry when the temperature gets below 40 degrees. Business decisions when it comes to tackling Derrick Henry.
Do you know? I would strictly try to tackle him by his ponytail. That's it.
Did you know Derrick Henry's nickname? The Train. No.
The D Train. No, you're close.
Different language. I didn't know this.
I was doing a little research. I think this is one of those like deep internet and titans fans only tractor cedo tractor cedo like the little the little tractor he's the little tractor from it was from the sugar bowl in 2014 the espn deportes uh announcers were calling him tractor cedo tractor cedo and he chews up turf and i and and and funny enough i searched it and titans fans were talking about tractor cedo is an awesome nickname.
That's pretty sweet. It needs to be like, people need to know about Tractor Cito more than, I'm sure there are people who know and I'm not trying to say like it's this underground thing, but more people need to know about Tractor Cito.
Yeah, that is a sweet nickname. He needs to step on that and start doing some trademarking.
Yeah. Sell some t-shirts.
We can sell some t-shirts. We could sell some Tractor Cito.
And then cut them in on it. Because are a derrick henry podcast we are uh shout out to the titans yeah their uh their podcast is mad at me now too oh really not just you yeah will comp actually i'm gonna start calling it's will compton's podcast okay uh busting with the boys why why are they upset because i said we got into a beef with their podcast so they started to be yeah they started the beef so i actually like will compton so i'm just gonna say it's will compton's podcast and we believe in the titans and we are mike vrabel we're the probably the only ones i think i went viral in titans twitter uh a few weeks ago because we basically said the titans stink except for vrabel and yeah i guess there's some like titans fans who don't like mike vrabel well guess what we don't like you that we like everyone else the challenge was.
Yeah. Yes.
How can you not? That was a better throw than Marcus Mariota said all year. Now, Ryan Tannehill, is this it? Yeah.
He's taking the next step before our very eyes. We joke about the next step with Tannehill.
It's been happening slowly for the last four years. It's been like a Euro step.
It's taken forever to develop, but he's actually good now. He threw that deep ball.
I can't remember. It was, I can't remember what quarter it was, but he threw like a 40 yard deep ball that I was like, wait, Ryan Tannehill.
Yeah. Is this it? This is the guy.
So apparently it takes seven years, six years, whatever it has been a couple of franchises, a couple of benchings to fully realize your, you know, know everything you have in you Ryan Tannehill is here he is now this is this is the dangerous part though the Titans are going to do the like three year not mega contract but like three year 15 million a year contract for Ryan Tannehill being like he's the guy and then next year he goes back to Ryan Tannehill. It's a strong possibility that, but I also think that Vrabel is one of those coaches that probably doesn't love quarterbacks no matter who they are.
Yep. Since he's a, you know, he had enough flags thrown on him while he was actually playing when he hit a quarterback, like a second too late where he still has that lingering resentment towards anyone that throws a football.
So I could, I could see him making them like a bridge deal, carry him over to the next guy. But, yeah, I mean, if they give Tannehill like $120 million this offseason, that's a recipe for disaster.
I'll say this, though. But I agree with it.
I watch him. I'm like, Brian Tannehill.
You got a hot quarterback. He's doing it.
You got to stick with him. I think the Titans might win a playoff game.
They're real motherfuckers to play against they are they're real motherfuckers they are like their defense runs around and flies around and like we said derrick henry no one wants to tackle that guy they are they are officially in that six seed spot where it's them or the steelers at this point and it feels like either of those teams and then maybe not the steelers as much but their defense is awesome uh could officially make some noise because the Titans we talked about it though that that game they played against the Chiefs where they won at the end uh that was the turn the corner game and the rest of their schedule is not easy but they basically control their own destiny because they have the Texans twice coming down the stretch yeah so they play thexans two out of the last three weeks of the season they have at the raiders next week now that's one of those games that if they don't that's a portal game they got to beat the raiders then they're for real then they're for really real i don't know so they're what seven and five seven and five so they have to they have to at least split it with the texans right and then they'll be and they And they have the Raiders and Saints in between those. That's going to be tough to do.
Saints at home, though. I'll put it this way.
If I'm Mike Vrabel, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm going to have to cut my dick off.
I really am. He is the MVP-ness of that team because he's a pretty good coach, I think, and he gets his players amped up.
No, be careful. People are going to get mad at you on Titans Twitter.
Okay, sorry. We love him.
Let me rephrase this. Mike Vrabel is the coach to the Tennessee Titans, and I don't want to say anything to offend anyone online.
And we personally love him. Yes.
Yes, someone took the video and tweeted it, and just all Titans fans, for like a whole day, I had Titans fans in my mentions being like, you're a fucking idiot. You get paid to talk about sports i'm like yeah kind of but not really i get paid to basically uh admit my bias openly listen here there are two types of coaches in the nfl one is like an offensive guru a mad scientist that's going to put points up and innovate and do crazy shit and make you like crap yourself because these are routes that i've never seen a wide receiver run before.
And then the second type is just kind of a grinder coach.

That's able to get his players to play hard in certain situations.

Correct.

And Mike Vrabel is probably the best of the grinder coach.

And the third,

the third type is coaches that we are personally friendly with.

We will always have their back.

So he's two out of three of those.

So he,

he checks all the boxes for us.

Adam Vinatieri.

This is sad. I know that two of his kicks were blocked and he missed one he had two blocked i don't know this feels one of those i don't know what jim urs is doing like what the the colts the colts season is now over they're not going to make the playoffs they're six and six and they've lost they're kind of stumbling here i think they've lost four out of five but what what are you doing? Basically giving up a portion of the game willingly because a guy is a legend and he is a legend.
He's a Hall of Famer. But what are you doing? If you can make Jim Irsay cry with emotion to the point where he doesn't want to cut you because he'll weep openly, he'll just keep you around.
You can have a job for as long as you like. It's crazy.
It's crazy that he is still out there kicking field goals. One of those kicks though, it looked like when you're playing a video game and you turn offsides off and you just stand in front of the holder and you put like two guys that's what it looked like yes like the kick never had a chance to get off the ground no and we we were saying that we were guessing that because the offensive line and the special teams is like he's gonna miss anyway let's just not block yeah yeah i mean whatever you Yeah, I mean.
Whatever. You're just demoralized.
You're like. Yeah, we don't want to.
We actually don't want to embarrass Adam Vinatieri anymore by missing this kick. Let's just let him block.
That's very, very nice of them to do that. By the way, Titans Twitter, if you want to clip any of this, you can do it at BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.
So go ahead. You've got to sign up for BarstoolGold.com slash PMT and then clip away.
Did I mention last week it was Will Muschamp that took Derek Henry and tried to turn him into a linebacker no yeah so Will Muschamp when he was recruiting him was like yeah you're going to play my position you're going to be one of my guys and Mike Vrabel is essentially just like a real a much smarter version of Will Muschamp yes that makes and well no I was gonna say less wet but not really no he's exactly as wet yes he's he's of the same moistness smoother brain yes definitely definitely smoother brain um all right he's like what will must champ thinks he looks like when he looks in the mirror yeah he's like damn you you're like you are a leader of men will you you you really can bench a lot yeah and then he gets up there and it's like everyone's just helping him his players are just helping get the bar up will must champ would build this coach 550 he would make an entire team out of linebackers if he had a chance yes um all right next up we have eagles dolphins no one wants to win the nfc east it's the cursed monkey's paw what what this is like a cursed monkey's paw it's like you don't think cursed monkey how about this it's like they're playing hot potato with a hand grenade what is a cursed monkey's paw it's like it looks like it's good A monkey's paw. Is that a thing? Cursed monkey's paw? How about this? It's like they're playing hot potato with a hand grenade.
What is a cursed monkey's paw? It looks like it's good. A monkey's paw has the three wishes on it, and you get to wish on it.
I'm not familiar with that. But it's cursed.
You need to watch more Simpsons. Okay.
So if you have the cursed monkey's paw, it looks like a great thing because you get three wishes out of it. But the trick is all the wishes come with something really bad.
So they're treating it like it's something that should be nice, but they don't really want to have it. Do you think people who, and I love The Simpsons.
I never was like the diehard Simpsons fan. There obviously are diehard, diehard Simpsons fans.
Do you think at some point in like 30 years, there'll just be a group of people that only talk in Simpsons episodes? I think it's starting to happen. Because there are those very diehard who just reference something you're like huh oh okay yeah I just forgot that that's a thing I okay I would say 20 years from now they're society is mostly going to be made up of Simpsons and office references are the Simpsons still running uh yeah but not really okay that that's crazy like grinding to a slow they're just They're just still out there doing their thing.
Because they're like the Adam Vinatieri of Fox comedy. You can't fire them.
You can't fire the Simpsons. Yeah, you can't fire them.
They get a few kicks blocked every month, and yeah, they'll just stick around for a while. It will basically be like a Jeep wave in 30 years, where guys will just be saying obscure Simpsons reference and be like like, oh, yeah, I also watch the Simpsons.

And that's our analysis of the NFC East, which sucks.

Cursed monkey's paw.

I want to say this.

Take away a playoff game.

Take away the home playoff game from the team that wins the NFC East.

Well, this is like the—

They don't deserve it.

This is the famous—what was it, 2009 or 10,

when the NFC West had their winner finish 7-9,

and it was the last night of the season when it was the Seahawks and the Rams Seahawks want to playoff game though. That was the Marshall.
Yeah. Those beast quake.
But yeah, this division is a joke. The Eagles go into Miami in a must win because everyone's looked at the Eagles schedule and like, Oh, they can basically win out because they play no one and they lose.
And guess what? They got Fitz we finally got our full-on Fitzmagic game we've had we've had close calls with Fitzmagic he's won games where it's like the opponent maybe wasn't very good this was a full-on Fitzmagic game he threw uh 345 yards he also threw a touchdown against the Eagles and he's done that with seven different franchises That was the most impressive stat. He's the Eagle killer.
He is the Eagle killer. He's done it with the Rams, Bengals, Bills, Dolphins, Texans, Jets, and Bucs.
He needs to go to the Eagles and somehow— And then throw a pick six. Yeah, throw a pick six and complete the whole thing.
Throw a touchdown against the Eagles from the Eagles. Yeah, so credit to Brian Flores because I i don't know how you can actively tank be as bad as the dolphins have been at some points in the season and still have guys trying but he does and he ran the coolest trick play the colts punt from like 10 five years ago that we always make fun of they ran that and they scored yeah their kicker caught a touchdown it was incredible is nuts.
And Devontae Parker also had two touchdowns and 159 yards.

But if you're actively trying to tank, you don't run that play. Or do you? No.
There's no way that I'm going to complete a pass from my holder or whatever to my kicker. Well, so that trick play was so genius because it basically went against human nature.
So human nature, when you watch the play, everyone on the line just saw a guy that they could absolutely crush and no one was blocking.

And they all just started rushing at him as fast as they could and left.

Who caught it?

The kicker?

The kicker caught it in the end zone.

Their punter, Matt Hack.

Matt Hack threw a touchdown pass today.

And their kicker caught it.

Their kicker's name is, let's see, Jason Sanders caught it. Great.
One touchdown. Oh, man, I'm on my fantasy team.
One target. Yeah, do you get credit for that if you're kicker? I don't know.
I don't think that you do. I don't think you do, but I know there are some people, because we're getting to, I think this is the week before the playoffs, there are people who are writing strongly worded emails.
To Matthew Barry. To Yahoo, to CBS, to ESPN.
Fix this now. Fix it.
Fix the scoring. The DeAndre Hopkins touchdown.
People are freaking about that one. Freaking out.
This is big-time freak out about decimal points of scoring. It matters.
I know we do the don't care about your fantasy team, but that I actually will support people when at the end of the season,

like kneel downs, all those weird scoring things,

right when you get to the playoffs, that matters.

They didn't credit DeAndre Hopkins with a passing touchdown.

Yet.

Yet.

Yet.

That might be adjusted after the fact.

Yet.

Now, do the Dolphins defense and special teams?

Yes, you can.

If they adjust it usually like on Tuesday mornings.

I've had that happen in a league before where you win and then Tuesday morning comes and it's like, whoops, you lost. So they need Amazon Web Services to come in or next-gen stats or whatever and figure out that that ball went like a quarter of a yard forward and then they'll credit him? Yes.
I like that. So, yeah, it was a touchdown pass to their kicker.
I like your theory on it that you send the most hittable player out there running with the ball. He's like fresh meat.
Yeah, they should just send the dorkiest looking player on the team. Should do that.
Everyone just left their assignment. It was like, I want to fucking kill this kicker.
And he just left, or the holder, and he left the kicker wide open in the end zone. It was a genius play.
I'm trying to think of who's the most hittable player in the NFL. It might be Morstead on the Saints just because he's got those boxy shoulder pads.
Cody Parkey. Cody Parkey.
You want to make sure that he stays in the game. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. That's a good question.
Who's the most hittable player? Mike Lennon, but he's a quarterback, so it's not a trick play. Although it kind of is a trick play.
He's going to throw a forward. Mason Rudolph.
Mason Rudolph. That's true.
Yeah, he might get hit in the face with a helmet. It went one step too far.
Maybe that's the trick play the Steelers have is they have Mason Rudolph running a play where he only has the old-school single-bar mask, so you can really see his face. Yeah, he would get destroyed on that.
Oh, fuck that. The NFC East is 16 and 32 combined.
Yeah. Relegate the last place team to the Big Ten.
Incredible. Incredible.
And the Redskins are still alive. Very much still alive.
Incredible. Incredible.
Incredible. That that is how.
I mean, the Cowboys had a meltdown. And we're going to talk about the Thanksgiving games in a little bit here.
But the Cowboys had a meltdown on Thursday. And then come Sunday, they're like, oh, you're still in first place and still have a commanding lead.
I would like to apologize to Eagles fans because I've been giving them a little bit of a hard time because they are the first ones to get down on their team when anything goes wrong. I'm talking about the smallest misstep.
They're like, fire everybody. This team stinks.
They're garbage. You were right.
You were dead right. You were dead right.
I was wrong, but it's like having, you're probably like this with Stella, your dog. Stella barks at everything.
So you kind of tune her out for a while. And then when somebody does break into your house and she's barking, you're like, Stella, not now.
I'm trying to go to sleep. And then it turns out that there was an intruder.
The Eagles fans were right barking early about this team because they do not look good in really any facet of the game. And the Eagles have the double whammy right now where you have the quarterback that you let go in Nick Foles, who I still am very much in the Carson Wentz is a lot better than Nick Foles.
We'll get to Nick Foles in a bit. But you let the quarterback who won the Super Bowl go, and you also, the theory is, the smart guys that helped you win you that Super Bowl are now in Indianapolis and Frank Reich.
So if you're an Eagles fan, you're sitting there like, wait, we got the wrong quarterback and the wrong coach? That's the worst-case doomsday scenario. I'm not saying that's what it is, but that thought is going through Philadelphia right now.
Yeah, because it doesn't get much worse than losing to the Dolphins. No.
And you have to win every game. You have to win every game.
I just hope that we get an 8-8 division winner. I mean, we might.
We might get a 7-9. That is going to be very hard to do, but God damn it, I want it.
I want it. I want it.
All right. Next up, before actually we do Packers-Giants, I want to talk to you guys about a leading blended scotch whiskey you know the name i'm about to say chivas regal and i nailed it has launched a special new blend chivas 13 manchester united special edition in honor of the team's 13 premier league title wins under the management of sir alex ferguson the 13 year old scotch are selectively finished an American rye casts to magnify the sweet, delicate notes of the unrivaled Chivas house style,

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We actually got some bottles. They gave it to us, and I have mine sitting at my desk.
I've had a few sips, and it is delightful. I enjoyed something the other night.
Yeah, Chivas Regal is delicious. Okay, Packers Giants.
Snow game. Big time snow game.
And the fake lines. I didn't like that.
I didn't like the fake lines. Was that stupid? No, it was stupid.
Yeah, it was dumb. It looked fake.
Well, they were fake, but it looked extra fake. When I see a snow game, I want the mystery.
I don't want to know where the yard lines are. That's half the fun.
And I want the shovels to come out and the guy with the snow plow to come out or the leaf blowers to walk around with the leaf blowers. But, yeah, so if you didn't watch this game, there was a moment where Fox basically did like, it looked like the illuminated puck back in the late 90s that the NHL tried to do with Fox.
And they had like illuminated yard markers. And it was so bad.
They actually, I think it was one of those situations where enough people complained on Twitter that they changed it. Dad, not only was it the numbers, but it was also like the hash marks were all individually grayed out.
It was terrible. Let me enjoy the snow.
Let me enjoy the snow. That is, you know, with global warming taking over the entire world, one of the last comforts that I have is snow football.
Snow. Don't take away my pure snow football from me.
I hate it. And I want to send a big fuck you to my cable company, too.
Yeah. Big fuck you watch this game well we do live in new york yeah but fuck you i should have the option i choice is important right now it's 2016 i should be able to watch the 49ers ravens game i agree and not have to watch pat shirmer refuse to put eli manning in the game even though daniel jones sucks now yep i was it was i couldn't believe I was watching the entirety of the Packers giants game and

the jets Bengals game.

That's my only options.

You know what I did this morning,

which I love to do once we get to December and you have snow football and

the elements,

so to speak,

I walked outside and gave myself a little scouting report.

Oh,

checked it out.

Yeah.

Just checked it out.

Just like,

okay,

all right.

Well,

there's a little hail come in.

I don't know. Maybe I still got my bet wrong, but i did do the scouting report boots on the ground uh which i live not close to the metal it's about 45 minutes away i actually it was like coming down in droves during the game and nothing outside my window but still boots on the ground i did my scouting report it was a little bit weird watching that game on tv with all the snow and then looking out your window and there's nothing.
Well, it's like one of the great things in life. If you live in an NFL city, you walk out on Sunday morning and you feel like Vince Lombardi.
You maybe hand in your pockets, just kind of sniff in the air, maybe toss a little grass. Just feel what the wind's going to be like, what the elements are going to be like, so that you can feel like you have an insider knowledge.
Even though we have weather apps that give you, like, to-the-minute accurate data, I still want to get the feel of it. Right.
It actually smells different. Yeah.
And it smelled like an undergame. I bet the over, but it did have the under smell to it.
Well, I always do the snow tricks my brain because I'm like, it's one of those things where if you are gambling on sports, you can basically convince yourself anything. Like short rest, you can convince yourself, oh, well, they're tired, so there'll be points.
Or, oh, they're tired, so they won't be able to run their offense. Snow, I'm always like, the defense slips.
You know how we always talk about different quarterbacks that aren't good in the cold weather? Yeah we're who have we put on that list derrick carr derrick carr's big time couple other guys with small hands matt lafleur does not look comfortable in cold weather which is bad because he's a coach of the green bay pack he looks like a little snow bunny all wrapped up and he's ready to get off the slopes he doesn't have enough weight he's he i mean not to go like jewish grandmother on him but he looks like he's starving he's all skin and bones he needs to eat eat eat eat come on um so this game let's actually talk about the game uh jane jones stinks and uh pat shirmer is a dead man walking pat shirmer update on where pat shirmer is with uh the entire new york giants organization he is at the level where he's talking about how they're historically young team so that is the last bargaining level of a coach about to get fired where they continually tell you how young their team is and how it's a process and he said at some point we'll be good enough to win you won't be here for that but yes you're right at some point the Giants will win again it might not be this It might not be this year. It might not be next year.
They've got to develop their guys. Historically young.
They are a young team. They've drafted well, but they have to develop those players and see how they pan out at this level.
So, yeah, hey, listen, let Pat Shermer stick around for a while because I enjoy watching him lose. I don't know what it is about Pat Shermer, but he's very non-threatening.
He thinks he's smarter than everyone. He always makes the wrong decision.
He even had the moment today where he was down three scores and could use a field goal and didn't kick a field goal. The game was over, but it was like this is actually the time that you kick a field goal to extend the game, and he went for it in field goal range.
He doesn't have a chart. He has no chart.
needs a chart guy his chart he actually thinks that astrology is what tells him whether or not to score points or not because he you're right he makes the wrong decision consistently it's shocking how often he gets it wrong he's like he's like someone who pulls out a compass and then follows it and then it realizes it's a fisher price compass and it's actually the north pole is stuck in one location well as an office reference he like follows the gps into the lake there you go he's like this is where it told me to go nice nice yeah dwight true no michael scott michael scott featuring dwight true classic combo and a rental car yeah um so yeah daniel jones i don't know if you're a giants fan i think you can do for the rest of the you can do the well he's young. But if you are not concerned about the fact that he, at minimum, has like three turnovers a game, and it's always a, it could be two fumbles, it could be three picks, who knows? You got to be at least a little nervous.
Yeah. I mean, there hasn't really been that much to root for for Daniel Jones since that first victory that he had, yes like besides that what what good has he done um he did he walks in with his brooks brother's shirt that's mono didn't get mono he's not making out with girls in season because i think he definitely has like his girlfriend from like seven year seventh grade yeah and he's gonna get married soon but it's gonna be weird how long he waits to get married but he's still gonna get married soon it sounds about right he right his look showing up to games backpack it's something it's something he does look like he's getting off like the school bus for picture day right every so there you go that's memorable that he's done that um the only other thing i wrote down was alan lazard uh had a big day and i'm very excited for him to be uh good for maybe a little bit for the packers and then leave and uh bash aaron rogers every chance he gets on twitter and random fox you know colin coward show and whatnot that'll be nice for you that's gonna be fun he because that's i feel like that he's the he is the next uh who does it greg jennings no does greg jennings say no he doesn't usually say stuff who's the guy who always says shit fuck the packers sharp no the packers receiver who always bashes aaron rogers why can't i think of his name right now it was tight end it was a tight end jimmy graham no martin's been it no someone's got it so they go through a lot of time jermichael finley yes yeah jermichael yes that's that's the new one i thank you although i'm sure martin's Bennett would bash Aaron Rodgers if you gave him a lot of times.
Jermichael Finley. Yes.
Yeah, Jermichael Finley. Yes.
That's the new one. Thank you.
Although I'm sure Mark Tellis Bennett would bash Aaron Rodgers if he gave him the chance. Yeah, he'd bash anyone.
Yeah, he'd bash the entire program there. So, yeah, they've got Alan Lazar, Devontae Adams at wide receiver.
The question is, are his wide receivers bad enough for Aaron Rodgers to feel good about dragging them to victory? Devontae Adams is too good. Yeah, he's too good.
If he plays with a lot of talent at wide receiver and at tight end, then Aaron Rodgers, he gets pissed off because he's not the one that dragged this lump of dog shit to greatness. Big time.
He likes being the guy, and I think that they're too talented for Rodgers to win a Super Bowl this year. The Packers, congrats on winning a game against a really bad team.

I still think my thoughts on the Packers.

You still think that they're F-words.

I think if you look into a Packers fan's eyes and you're like, come on.

You guys are good, but come on.

It doesn't feel special yet.

They say that.

If you can get the truth out of them, they're like, you're right. No.
It's not. The team isn't fully complete for that to be the case.
Shout out to Mercedes Lewis, though, who caught a touchdown. His first touchdown catch from Aaron Rodgers, if you can believe that.
He's still alive. Okay.
That's pretty cool. All right.
Next up, we have the big rivalry game, Steelers-Browns. All-time this league.
It was the T-shirt war that went on for everyone arriving at the stadium this morning. It started with Freddie Kitchens over the weekend having a Pittsburgh started it shirt.
And then we had Bud Dupree wearing a free pouncey shirt. And Cameron Sutton had the old, it looked like a Calvin and Hobbes, but it was like a little kid in a Pittsburgh helmet peeing on a Browns player.
Yeah. I loved it.
Yeah, it was a lot. This league.
And also Jarvis Landry was wearing a revenge shirt. Yep.
Basically, this entire rivalry could be cooled down with a long talk from Mr. Rogers about how to talk to our friends and handle disagreements and control our emotions.
Yes. But yeah, they're all very angry at other and it turns out that the Steelers defense is really good and it turns out I've been saying it it turns out I love the Steelers defense duck fucks duck fucks so I'm gonna say something trigger warning I'm gonna say something that our listeners who are Cleveland Browns fans are not gonna be happy when I say it but I have to say it this was the ultimate this is why the Steelers are the Steelers and the Browns are the Browns fans are not going to be happy when I say it, but I have to say it.
This was the ultimate.

This is why the Steelers are the Steelers and the Browns are the Browns game

because you are on the third string quarterback for the Steelers.

You don't have Juju.

You don't have James Connor.

The Browns are rolling a little bit.

They come out and they're firing in the first half,

and it looks like they're going to win this game

and basically have this shot at a playoff spot and run down the stretch, and then they just disappeared. Baker hurt his hand, though.
Baker hurt his hand. That's his crotch grabbing hand.
That's very important. The Steelers outmanned him.
It was a physical game where the Steelers just kind of, I'll say it, wanted it more, and Freddie Kitchens did a classic Freddie Kitchens where he came out and was like, hey, we're going to run the ball. And then the second half just stopped.
I don't know. And not because they were down.
It was a tie game at half. And Devlin Hodges making that pass at the end of the half when they couldn't really move the ball.
That felt like a dagger. But, man, the Browns, like, Browns fans know what I'm saying when I say that.
Like, this is the Steelers winning this game with their third string quarterback and missing players all over the field is just so classic Pittsburgh versus Cleveland. Right.
If the Browns were on the right track right now, they would have won this game by 20. Correct.
But they're not on the right. They've got Freddie Kitchens fighting an eternal battle that he'll never win or lose against his own mind.
Yes. So it's not going to end up well.
It sucks. Watching him defend his shirt, too, the Pittsburgh started shirt.
Yeah. After the game, it was like to just say that you probably shouldn't have worn that shirt.
Yeah. But that's also Freddie Kitchens.
He doesn't even realize what he's doing. How about Marquise Pounce getting the game ball? Yeah.
That was pretty cool. It's a bad message to kids that if you get into a fight, you get rewarded.
No, a good message, defend your quarterback. Even if he's Mason Rudolph.
Even if he's Mason Rudolph. Even if you don't like his face.
No matter what. Mike Tomlin's the coach of the year.
So we could make arguments for a lot of different coaches. But I'm saying Mike Tomlin's the coach of the year.
Okay. Because what the Steelers, and we have made fun of Mike Tomlin a lot on this podcast.
so i think it's only fair to say when he's doing a great job and what he's done this year has been a fantastic job the fact that the steelers with the september they had with even going back to antonio brown and levy on bell in the offseason and like everything falling apart last year into this year ben getting hurt mason Mason Rudolph being a fuckhead going to their third string quarterback,

who is, has Moxie out of his ears.

I think he's a coach of the year with what he's done with this team.

I cannot believe that they are in the playoffs as of right now.

And, you know, if they take care of business down the stretch,

we'll be the sixth seed.

I cannot believe that.

I would like to go back and retroactively award coach of the year to Mike

Tomlin for the job that he did last year and the year before, keeping Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown somewhat coherently together on the same page on that team, like knowing what we know now about Antonio Brown. The fact that none of this stuff was public, the fact that Antonio Brown, I guess, just now discovered how to use Twitter this offseason.
And it's a perfect lesson for fans, and I include myself as obviously a fan, to when we think we know everything, we don't know anything. Because we all were making the Mike Tomlin jokes.
We all were saying Mike Tomlin is running a circus and he has no control of anything. And then he puts together a year like this year, and you're like, whoa, he's got these guys believing no matter what.
Yeah. He actually, he knew better than anybody else where that locker room was the entire time.
Yeah. I made one note here about Duck.
Congratulations to Duck, by the way. So much Moxie.
Our Moxie King. Our Moxie King, like 9.9 on the Daltometer.
Or 9.9 Daltons on the Moximeter.

Yep.

Moximeter.

I think you got it.

Whatever it is.

Saying, typing Duck

fucks is very hard to

do with autocorrect.

Yeah.

Very hard.

That's like level 10

challenge.

Yes.

Getting that all right

on the first time.

He's also just a little

quick saber metric for

you.

Duck, 2-0 in his first

starts as Steelers

quarterback.

You know who else

went 2-0 first two

starts Steelers

quarterback?

Big Ben.

Big Ben.

So Duck's probably

going to win two

Super Bowls minimum.

I like that.

That's a Vuvuzela law from South Africa. Yeah, that could go south very quickly.
It would be electric, though. It would be electric, but we already have one Mississippi State where those stupid cowbells, we don't need just random noises.
But that's awesome that those Steelers, Bills, and the Steelers are so different than the Steelers of the past because they're now like a plucky underdog. And I love their defense.
I've been in love with their defense for a while now. It's Bud Dupree, all-time football name.
TJ Watt, he's a Watt. Benny Snell is also a great football name.
Benny Snell, great. And Javon Hargrave, great football name.
Like, they got guys that if you just say their names, like Bud Dupree, you want to fuck with Bud Dupree? No, no, thank you. Hell no.
Hell no. No, thank you.
Also, Minka Fitzpatrick is still playing really well. Yep.
It's crazy. Not an intimidating name.
Minka Fitzpatrick? Minka Fitzpatrick is not an intimidating name. No.
It implies a certain sleepiness. No, no, no.
What if it was Minka Fitzmagic? A little bit more intimidating just because you don't know what's going to happen. Also listen to Hank saying what isn't an intimidating name.
Henry. Are you still mad about Steve Belichick? Yeah, still mad.
I just want to let everyone know I was still mad about it. Okay.
All right. Yeah, so Steelers going to make a run at it.
What is the Steelers? Let's see real quick what the rest of their schedule is because I think they have a couple tough games. But if they make the playoffs...
While you're looking this up, I just want to say I was very disappointed that there was an actual fight during the game. I know.
I was mad that there wasn't even a brawl. There was no helmet swinging.
It felt off. Yeah, it did.
It felt off. All right, so they're at the Cardinals.
I would say that's going to be a win. And then they have the Bills in primetime then at the jets so they they could you know the bills are at home we could be looking at a 10 and five steelers team in in a few weeks with a week 16 game or 17 game against the ravens which will probably lose but that's crazy well the one saving grace for the browns is i don't think that freddy kitchens is getting fired after this game he should he's not going to though they're gonna should around other games not this game cumulatively this game too on aggregate he's reached the point of firing you can't have your team get outmanned okay yeah i'll give you that you can't if it when it's time to put your nuts on the table correct and you're dragging yours just did that to them like they manned up and they they don't have i mean they did it with they don't have any wide receivers they don't have it like benny snell is good i liked him in kentucky but he's not james connor james washington's not bad though james washington's not bad but like he went hunting with duck he did before the game but they're in their center and they're missing all these guys and they're just like you know what fuck it we're still gonna win this game let's just do and be legends let's just let's just go full send on the browns uh but again it's why the stealers the stealers the browns the browns it hurts but it's the truth until the browns can change the narrative maybe next year but this is browns fans are sitting nodding right now they're probably crying a little bit but they're also nodding and you know what you you're ohio state fans you're fine yeah you'll be getting don't few the few browns fans that are not ohio State fans, this is messages for you.
I'm sorry. It is kind of nice, though, that the Steelers fans also have to deal with being Pirates fans.
Yeah. And being University of Pittsburgh fans.
Yes, that's true. It's God's way of balancing.
And not have an NBA team. Yeah, you can't.
It's the most popular sport in the world. They wouldn't go to an NBA game.
Yeah, it is. Like, the The only, you know, New England is really the only place that has like everything.
If you're a Red Sox fan, you're also a Celtics fan. Well, I guess Washington, D.C.
You get to be a Mystics fan, a Nationals fan, and a Capitalist fan. And Boston has to share the Patriots with the other five states of New England.
That's true. So there's Connecticut people that are like also Yankees or they're like, yeah, they're Yankees and Mets or whatever.

Who would you, out of the other New England states,

who would you say gets like first dibs to the Red,

or not to the Red Sox, but to the Patriots after Boston and Massachusetts does?

New Hampshire, I mean, everyone except for Connecticut.

Connecticut, there's too many 50-50s.

But New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, Rhode Island, they're all real ones. Yeah, Rhode Island.
Connecticut can kick rocks. The Rough and Rowdy in Rhode Island was – Shout out to the Brain Trust at Barstool, and I probably am included in that because I sit in some of these meetings, but we serve tall boys at a Rough and Rowdy in Providence, Rhode Island, and they became missiles.
Miss All right. Redskins Panthers.
The Redskins are hot. They have a two game winning streak.
The bare minimum required for a win to be hot. But yes.
Talk about manned up football. They ran the ball all over the Panthers.
And then they did the exact same thing on the other side of the ball where they sacked Kyle Allen seven times. times they manned up and dwayne haskins keeps showing very small incremental signs of improving little bits by the end of the year he's gonna go like 16 for 30 and one touchdown and no interceptions and not take a selfie after the game yeah he didn't take a selfie didn't take any plays off this time uh he got to hand the ball off to darius geis who's an all-time i'm so happy to watch that

player playing well guy yep because he's been injured his entire career so far uh this was also one of those classic games that just snuck up on everyone because the panthers came out hot and you're like okay cool don't have to think about this game panthers easy they won and then all of a sudden the redskins are just hanging around hanging around and and now the panthers are coming for that crown with the Chargers.

Chargers are still on top.

But I feel like and someone can fact check me I feel like half of the Panthers games this year have ended on goal line situations where with like five seconds left they're on the goal line they just need to score and they just can't do it I know what happened in that to that Thursday night game which one Christian McCffrey went out of bounds yep and the packers yep true and so that's at least three at least three times they have just ended a game like first and goal on the five yard line can't get in yeah uh the panthers they don't look good i'm hopeful well this is actually the most redskins thing of all time if they put together a little winning streak at the end of the year here and let let's say they end 6-10, but they're showing signs of improvement,

that Bruce Allen gets to come back next year.

Oh, he's definitely coming back.

And enjoy more winning off the field.

They should fire him at the start of the year

so he can continue winning in the offseason and doing all the other things.

I saw a report that Dan Snyder said nothing is off the table for changes in the offseason. including selling the team, including numerous dozens of fans demanded from him.
Hilarious. When an owner says that when they're like halfway through the season, like, you know what? No one's safe, but actually probably everyone who sucks your dick all the time and like ball washes you is very much.
Well, another thing is Dan Snyder said that, well, not, not Dan Snyder. Callahan said that they're going to look into getting an analytics department.
Wow. So they are there.
Watch out. Coming into the 21st century, 20 years too late.
Hell no. That's fine.
Better, better late than never. Yeah.
What I always say, but people forget that they, they were the first NFL team to hire an analytics department. And then the guy quit after like a week.
He's like, these guys. And he was like, these guys are, are such idiots.
idiots i'm leaving this can't cannot work with dan snyder um all right so the redskins are still alive the panthers are very much dead well here's here's the path to the playoffs for the redskins it's very simple very simple you got to win out you got to hope that the eagles lose out you got to hope that the cowboys lose out and then you got to hope that the cowboys and the eagles tie when they play each other. I'm rooting for it.
It could happen. Chaos.
I'm not saying that it's going to happen. Chaos.
But I'm saying it's very likely that it will happen. You're two wins and the Eagles-Cowboys tie away from being in the hunt graphic.
No, we are technically in the hunt right now. We are officially in the hunt.
Not mathematically eliminated yet. Listen, if someone who's at the top of the in the hunt and it's thrilling every time they show it you're not listen i don't have an analytics department i can't tell you if we're technically in the hunt or not but it feels like i think i've taken a screen grab like 17 times in the last two weeks of the bears in the hunt it feels like we're less out of the hunt than we were last week yes you're you you've grabbed your rifle we packed you grab your rifle and your hunting dog.
You're not out the door yet. We packed a cooler.
We packed a Yeti up for our friends that are going out to hunt. And we're like, you come back and we'll cook up whatever you guys catch.
I've been walking in the woods with my beagle for like three weeks. You're lost.
You're going in the woods. We don't know where we are.
But we think we're in the hunt. Yeah, you're like, if hatchet.
There's no bullets in our gun. Yeah, you're like the kid from hatchet you are you have to be in the hunt to survive you're peeing on logs and you're learning how to trap bugs we're good we're in the hunt um all right before we do bucks jags pft do you want to talk to us quickly about peloton because usually i would do this but you are the peloton guy and you do the are we gonna get a halftime show i don't know we're getting a halftime show because we're doing the telethon for Cyber Monday.
That's true. Cyber Monday.
Shout out Cyber Monday. We have probably the greatest tracksuits we've ever created.
Umbros. Umbro tracksuits.
They look awesome. And a ton of new gear.
Cyber Monday. I think it's going to be 20% off.
20% off. Cyber Monday.
Go check it out. And some great Lamar Jackson shirts flying off the shelves.
They're actually almost sold out out right now so if you want to get a lamar jackson elite shirt now's the time we have some t-shirts that are basically they're gone once they're gone they're gone forever gone forever 100 of those left in stock get those 20 off cyber monday please anytime you do anytime you buy part of my take gear it helps us um so go and support us please thank you it's a great christmas gift it's great christ i don't know if i'm going to be doing it if you buy today it'll actually come by christmas yes okay nice anytime after today guaranteed by hank you have to tweet hank if you don't get it he is in charge of shipping now so i don't know if i'm going to be doing the peloton halftime show for monday football if i'm not i'll try to bring it back the following week okay uh but i i've been on my Peloton a lot this year. It's been really – it's a great workout.
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go to one Peloton.com use promo code. My take at that's a new code one peloton.com use promo code my take at checkout okay uh bucks jaguars i wanted to quickly talk about nick foals and maybe the strangest nfl career we've ever seen and we ever will see okay so Nick Foles got benched today for Gardner Minshew and rightfully so he had three turnovers on the first three possessions for the Jaguars the last guy to do that Mike Glenn in week two for the Bears in 2017 really bad really really bad Nickoles is now, he has gotten benched for Gardner Minshew.
He transferred schools because of Kirk Cousins. He got hurt, but he got replaced by Mark Sanchez in 2014.
He got benched for Case Keenum. He came in for Alex Smith and lost the job back to Alex Smith 2016.
He won a Super Bowl. He went a season where he went 27 touchdowns and two interceptions in 13 games played.
He's made $62 million, 120. If he goes throughout his whole contract that he signed with the Jaguars.
And I think he just stinks. He's bad.
He's, he's like, uh, when he puts on the Eagles jersey, he's like Tony Stark, RIP my dog, getting into the Iron Man costume, right? When he's got that core, when he's wearing that uniform, for some reason he's very, very good. And all other times he's not good.
So I went back, I thought about it. I was like, was Nick Foles ever really good? And the best I can come up with is even when he was good every time he threw the ball it felt like he was just very very lucky he that 27 touchdown two interception year which was phenomenal for him the whole time we all were like wait that this isn't this isn't actually gonna happen and they and they still were like looking for someone else like we he's not the franchise quarterback after 27 touchdowns and two interceptions i forgot to add so he stinks he's had a ridiculous career where he's been benched or replaced or transferred for like not good quarterbacks he's got a statue of himself in philly and he has a enormous penis that is like stuff of legends.
But he stinks at quarterback. He has the weirdest career in NFL history.
Right. He's like if Paul Bunyan was a really shitty lumberjack.
But he cut down one great tree that damned the Mississippi River. One huge tree.
Yeah. And that's it.
One giant, giant, girthy log of a tree. I looked at his stats.
Nick Foles, if you took out that...

So the 27 touchdown, two interception year is crazy when you think about it. Chip Kelly's offense for the Eagles.
I think they lost to the Saints in the playoffs. So insane year.
He had that blip where he's just crazy good. He had the blip where he wins the Super Bowl, and he's crazy good.
An insane run that no one could take away. If you took out his 27 touchdown, two interception year, he's played 44 games.
He's had 44 touchdowns and 32 interceptions. He stinks.
Yeah. He's not good.
So what's going to happen? It's crazy. So Jacksonville, it looks like they're thinking about moving on if they haven't already made that decision.
They have to. And Gardner game moxie moxie looked really exciting when he was playing and and the this is not me bashing nick foals because if anything nick foals is like people kids should put they shouldn't put you know aaron rogers or tom brady or drew breeze posters up on their wall they should put nick foals because nick foals is an average guy who has had momentary situations where he has reached great heights and that is like that's the american dream so nick foals might have he might have found a genie's lamp it's crazy he might have used two of his wishes already on particular seasons probably gonna win another super bowl at some point probably go back to Philadelphia.
Oh, and I forgot to say he almost retired before he won the Super Bowl.

And he gives probably the least inspiring press conferences of all time.

He is so confusing and at the same time such a model like citizen for anyone who is just an average.

And obviously he's not an average show because he's an NFL quarterback.

But in terms of like in context, he is completely average to below average at his profession. But he has reached moments where he has been exceptional.
It's one of those things where you just got to ride with it if it's going well. And you saw this back when they were on the Super Bowl run in Philadelphia.
They had the locker room, the shrine set up for him where even his own teammates were like, I have no idea working, but it is. It's crazy.
So let's just fucking lean into it. It's crazy.
So yeah, I think he's got to be done, which if you're a Jags fan, I feel like you have to take that shot where you bring him in for all that money. Hopefully he has one of those genie wishes, but then knowing that it's failed, you can't be that upset because you got Gardner Minshew.
if they didn't have gardner minchu then you're sitting there as a jacks fan being like are you serious we did this this is crazy but now i don't know what his contract is i'm sure you can maybe trade him or i don't know i'd take him i'd take him for the bears yeah just just as for the genie lamp hank would you take him for the patriots yeah genie lamp man like you got one left he is that guy he's gonna pop up but and this might be the gambler speaking to me but i look at nick foals and i'm like he stinks but maybe but he's also nick foals he's nick foals i don't know right right yeah i don't know he could do it um you think doug morone's in the hot seat yeah probably i hope he's not but i think that he is i think so i think so uh because tom coughlin i think is is just waiting tom coughlin what's what they're saying there's a bunch of infighting going on between him and coughlin already yeah i like today i like your idea by the way pft of the giants packers game of them just showing shots of cold tom coughlin just for nostalgia just superimpose him like just cut cut away to tom staring into the wind yeah hologram him. Yeah, exactly.
He should be in any snow game involving those two teams. All right, so the other side of this game, the Bucs.
The Bucs are in trouble, PFT, because the Bucs. Well, they've got a decision to make.
Well, and the Bucs are just good enough to do the old, we're building something here. And they have, at times, looked times their defense is like awesome Devin White was awesome today uh Shaq Barrett I think is leading the league or tied for league in sacks like they have pieces that Mike Evans Godwin like and Jamison future hall of famer they have enough pieces where you can sell yourself on a not good Bucs team growing to be a good team next year.
And the rest of their schedule, they have the Colts at home. They're at the Lions.
They have the Texans at home and the Falcons at home. The Bucs are going to finish 8-8.
I could see them winning all four of those games. They're going to finish 8-8.
I could also see them losing all four of those games. No, they're going to finish 8-8.
I think they're, what, 5-7 right now? They're going to go 3-1 down the stretch. They will beat the Colts, the Lions, and the Falcons.
They're going to go 8-8, and you're going to walk away. They will be one of those teams next year, as long as they keep future Hall of Famer Jameis Winston, where people will say the Bucs might make some noise.
And they have Vitavia. And they have Vitavia, who can do it all.
Like, they have Jews. Being a blocking fullback to being a pass-catching fullback.
And Bruce. They got Bruce.
and they have Vita Vea and they have who can do it all from like they have Jews being a blocking fullback to being a pass catching full right and Bruce and Bruce they got Bruce and they got around for another year so but do you know how you know what I'm saying like this is the dangerous spot that NFL teams get in where if they can finish a season well they can sell themselves and their fan base uh shout out Steven Shea I think he's the only Bucks fan alive they can sell them on building something hulk hogan when it's all gonna fall apart you think that

there are some people that just live in that pirate ship in the offseason yes i think there

have to be right yeah otherwise just a waste of decent real estate in tampa i think it's the

airbnb and and chris berman gets it for at least one weekend in february that'd be sweet yeah lord

lord willing so yeah i i think the bucks i don't i don't know if they're gonna finish eight and eight

i think they'll probably end up maybe seven and nine uh there's you know what i mean though

Thank you. sweet yeah lord willing so yeah i think the bucks i don't i don't know if they're gonna finish eight and eight i think they'll probably end up maybe seven and nine uh there's you know what i mean they're so frustrating yeah they're so frustrated because they can appear like the best offensive team in the league at times yep and they can appear as the worst offensive team and their defense their run defense is actually i think statistically it might have changed in the last few weeks for a while there their run defense the best in the league, and their pass defense was terrible.
We also invented a stat that we'll have to bring up in the future for the Bucs, which is the Jameis Winston hat trick, where he throws for three touchdowns and also has three turnovers. But he didn't have a single turnover today, did he? I don't think so.
I think he had a clean game. He might have had a fumble.
That's a pretty big indictment. He probably had a fumble.
That's a pretty big mark. Hold on, let me look.
I'm pretty sure he had a fumble. If you can't turn Jameis Winston over.
He had to have had a fumble. That's a pretty big indictment.
That's a pretty big mark. Hold on.
Let me look. I'm pretty sure he had a fumble.
You can't turn Jameis Winston over. He had to have had a fumble.
There's no way he held the ball for the entire game. I think he did.
It was in Jacksonville. Oh, it was in Jacksonville.
Ooh. A little home away from home.
Oh, did the Bucs can claim stake as the best team in Florida? I don't know. I don't know.
There's some Fitzmagic going on down in Miami. Yeah, and they don't play each other.
So, damn. That's too bad because I would like to see the Florida Super Bowl.
Maybe that's something that we— Also, Felipe Franks isn't coming back to the University of Florida, so they might be better. Felipe Franks.
Fuck that guy. He's so bad.
Do you see the anti-vaxxers? There was a big line of anti-vaxxers. Jenny McCarthy.
Your people outside of the Jacksonville Stadium just holding up signs saying, don't vaccinate your kids. Which is, that's a very dangerous place when people are walking into that pool in the Jaguar Stadium to tell you not to be up to down your shots.
Well, isn't that itself a vaccination? By swimming in that pool, there's so many diseases that you vaccinate yourself you get a trace amount of denim water if you just swallow that water that's as good as a flu shot yeah it will definitely inoculates you against one or two hepatitis is uh just stat check james winston did in fact lose a fumble okay all right all right thank okay so doug marone not on a high that'smus test, though. If you're unable to turn Jameis Winston over a single time.
At least once, he has to turn it over. By the way, Nick Foles, back to him just one last time.
He looks, I don't know what it is, but in the Jags uniform, and maybe it's the heat, he just looks slow. And there was a few times where he got sacked where he just couldn't move.
He just got sacked, and he saw it coming from a mile away and just kind of fell into it. After the game, too, I'm telling you, I don't know if you've seen these press conferences that he's been giving.
After losses in the middle of a week when the press is asking him about his previous loss and some bad passes that he's thrown, he just seems like he's got low. He might have mono.
Nick Foles might have mono. I'm going to put that out there because I've never seen a quarterback that's more sleepy than he is.
The most fascinating career I think we'll ever see. In terms of just all over the place, I can't remember a guy who has this type of ceiling and floor and just at the end of the day, you're like, he sucks, but.
Well, it's in a single game yeah if you just stretched out one james winston game uh for like six or seven years that's nick foals's career that is nick foals career um all right last or no sorry next game we have niners ravens the best game or what was said to be the best game of the one o'clocks. Ravens win 20 to 17.
I have a question for you, PFT. It's the SeatGeek question.
Promo code take. You put in promo code take.
You get $10 off SeatGeek purchase. How much do you think Justin Tucker is worth if you were trying to trade him or trade for him.
What team? Am I the Bears?

Any team.

Six first-round picks if I'm the Bears. His value as a kicker is so off the charts.

That game, like it was a sloppy game.

Both quarterbacks, Lamar, it was clear the 49ers were like,

we're going to stop the pass and the running backs

and let Lamar kind of beat us with his feet, which he did.

But with six minutes left, the Ravens got the ball

and they didn't give it back.

And they got into field goal range with like 230 left.

They're like, you know what?

Justin Tucker's got this.

No problem.

He has now hit 38 straight fourth quarter field goals.

And he's worth, like his value is that of a position player in my mind.

And he can sing opera and he sings it in six different languages.

He's insane though.

It's a game changer. I think he's actually worth a first-round pick.
Yeah. If you're a team that's on the cusp, you might not have a good kicker.
They're always in field goal range. They always know that, like, this game is a perfect example where if you don't, if you have other kicker in the nfl besides justin tucker the end of the game looks completely different but with justin tucker they get the ball back they get like with 234 left i think they got on the uh the 49er side of the field they ran so conservative from that point on being like we're already kind of in field goal range and he's definitely gonna make it and he for some reason he he never seems like he's wound up on the sidelines he never seemed like after the game when he when he makes a kick he does seem very amped up and he'll celebrate he'll like run around right but before a kick he's just he kind of seems stoned and they all go exactly the same spot right down the middle they go the exact same spot i've never seen anything like it and they're incredible and every single justin tucker kick would have been good from 15 yards farther out than where he actually kicked.
It doesn't matter if it's a 40-yarder or if it's a 57-yarder. It's always 15 extra yards on the end of it.
And now that we've said all this, I'm sure he'll miss a huge kick in the playoffs. But the Ravens, we talked about it last week, but they're a cheat code at this point because they did finally punt, but for a while there, they just weren't punting, and they had Justin Tucker to supplant, you know, supplement, sorry, Lamar Jackson and that running offense.
It's insane. Did you hear the new stat that Florea is coming up with? No.
The double-triple. Yeah, Lamar had another double-triple today.
He had 100 yards rushing and 100 yards passing. The double-triple.
Even though it was like 105 and then 101 or something like that that's a stupid double triple florius okay all right that's a cool step yeah you're getting a little stir crazy um so the the big thing though outside of justin tucker that i took away from this game people were talking about how this was a super bowl preview earl thomas you know got asked that question before the game or during week. If this is a Super Bowl preview, I feel like both of their weaknesses came out more than their strengths.
Yeah, this is how you beat the 49ers is you make Jimmy Garoppolo throw the ball. You make Jimmy Garoppolo throw from the pocket.
You make him come from behind. Yes.
And then you should be good because he telegraphs his passes a little bit. He's very easy to read as a defense so i think that's that's probably how you're going to beat him it it was such a classic like if jimmy garoppolo plays a little bit above average they could probably win this game and that's kind of what you need like the 49ers have everything else in place that if jimmy garoppolo can elevate his game 10 they become almost unbeat then on the other side, the Ravens' run defense is what I've always kind of thrown out there is like, hey, if you want to pick one thing, they got gashed.
Raheem Mostert. Raheem Mostert.
I fucking love Kyle Shanahan. Just pick your poison.
Just throw a bunch of guys out there. He had 7.7 yards average per carry, 146 yards on 19 carries.
Like, there are teams that can run on the Ravens, and if you're a Ravens fan, you're probably going to get mad at me, but you also probably know the truth here that their offense is lights out. Lamar Jackson is incredible.
Justin Tucker is incredible. Their defense at times can get run on.
Also, we were talking about Justin Tucker and singing earlier. I don't know if you've noticed this, but Lamar Jackson has such a smooth, unusual voice.
I want to hear how he sounds when he tries to sing. I think he could have a nice sleepy brown type gravelly sound to his voice.
I was listening to it and trying to figure out what it was a mix between. Usually for me it's always a mix between Pat Mahomes and Mike Greenberg.
Yep. Maybe a little Jerry Jones.
But I actually think that it was a mix between Patrick Mahomes and Mike Greenberg. In this case, I actually think that it does play.
But, yeah, you're right. So the 49ers on offense, when they don't have Breida, they can just have most to run the ball all the crazy.
You just put your foot in the ground, and then you get downfield, and the holes are always there. Right.
And Kittle is a really good blocker. Oh, yeah.
He's probably like top three blocking tight ends and top three pass-catching tight ends. He's an absolute beast.
Greg Kittle, Pro Bowl vote. Tweet it.
Hashtag Greg Kittle, Pro Bowl vote. You have to say Greg underscore Kittle.
Yes, Kittle, Pro Bowl vote. But, yeah but yeah i mean the ravens deserve the credit for winning this game and doing it in like it was ugly in the second half because it was raining and no one could pass it downfield and they seem to just find a way it's it's funny because when as stupid as this sounds when a team goes on a roll like the ravens are on and they just kick the shit out of teams, you almost feel like something's off because that just doesn't happen every week in the NFL.
So you want to see them win a game like today to be like, okay, they can do it both ways. It makes no sense.
Of course, you'd just rather beat teams by four touchdowns every week, but you watch the Ravens beat teams by four touchdowns every week. Can they win a close game? Yeah, they can because they have a fucking unreal kicker and an unstoppable run game.
I've got a formula to beat the Ravens beat teams by four touchdowns every week like can they win a close game yeah they can because they have a fucking unreal kicker and an unstoppable run game I've got a formula to beat the Ravens you ready for this one tackle Lamar Jackson hard play them in the exact same conditions that today's game was in yep two don't crash down on Ingram at all and just let Mark Ingram run the ball for 150 yards in the first half and hope that he gets tired. Yeah.

And then just like –

A little chubby.

Yeah, keep your defensive ends out on Lamar Jackson

when he's doing his little zone reads.

Play the exact same defense you were on the back end, whatever that is.

I don't know.

I'm not a scientist.

But don't crash down on Ingram.

Let him get tired and then just hope to God that in the second half

he doesn't gash you as bad as he did in the first.

I have another way.

Just scream at the TV for four straight hours, Why aren't we QB spying them? Yep. Because that's the best when you can just pretend that you know how to run a defense against Lamar Jackson because you play Madden and do QB spy.
Just have your slow ass middle line back. Where the hell is our QB spy? Try to run laterally with Lamar Jackson.
He actually is breaking ankles. He breaks ankles.
Full-on breaks them. Also, want to give a shout-out to RG3 in the postgame.
Yes, yes. He saw Kyle Shanahan.
He was like, I'm going to shake this guy's fucking hand. Yes.
Come hell or high water. Yes.
And he hit him with a stiff arm, the Heisman stiff arm, and then just put his hand in Shanahan's hand. It was like that over-the-top handshake.
It was the meme. Yes.
The new meme is now Kyle Shanahan and Robert Griffin shaking hands, and they're both saying, fuck the Redskins. Yes.
So if this was a preview for the Super Bowl, I'm down for it because it was awesome, and I'd like to see it be played in maybe not rainy conditions like this. But we'll be in Miami, so maybe it will be rainy conditions um all right uh we have three more games the afternoon games chiefs raiders andy reed off a bye andy reed off a bye andy reed off a bye this is easy it's the easiest thing in the world i bet on this last sunday i think last sunday night when we were talking about andy reed coming off a bye andy reed off a bye and andy reed coming off of diners drive-ins and dives too that was nice showing guy fieri some nice nice juicy bites of the kansas city burgers that is like the peak of american culture right there you know when they look back and they're like oh yeah like michelangelo and monet and i'm just saying names that i don't even know what the peak no those are those are true they are yeah but that monet monet.
But that... Monet? Monet.
Monet. You know Monet? Dude, lily pads? Impressionist.
Come on. Like Frank Caliendo.
Get some culture. Fun fact, I went to the Monet Museum.
Line was too long, so I got an ice cream and left. You basically saw it all.
Basically saw it all. If you're standing from far away, it actually looks better.
So you got the true essence of Monet. I was a big time, when I went to France, just see the line being really long like notre dame when everyone was tweeting like oh my gosh the notre dame uh cathedral is is burning this is my picture with it i didn't have one because the line was too long so i just looked at it and left yeah well i did that kind of with a mona lisa the mona lisa we're cultured we're cultured fuck the mona lisa i would rather watch a snow football game 10 times out of 10 than look at that stupid fucking 8x10 painting.
Yeah, we got culture on this podcast. So anyway, that Andy Reid and Guy Fieri was the peak.
That was when you can note right on a map, that's when American culture peaked. Everything after that is going downhill.
It would be very sad. Yes, yes.
That's a watershed moment in the history textbooks. It is.
All right, so yeah, John Gruden, we got like angry, cold John Gruden today. And did you see the reversal where he claimed it changed the game when he was already down 24-0, but he claims that the pass interference call that turned over an interception in the end zone that the Raiders had was a call made by Wizard of Oz or something.
So the Sky Judge. He's mad.
The man behind the curtain. He's mad at someone.
The exact quote is, we had an interception. We thought we did intercept that.
Was turned over by the Wizard of Oz or somebody. Okay.
All right. I'm trying to put that together.
So has John Gruden seen the Wizard of Oz? Yeah, definitely got high and linked it up with dark side of the moon you think so yeah i don't think i think john gruden j probably got naturally high j probably slipped him like a brownie he probably thinks that deuce is an oompa loompa yeah he's flipped out he tried to put he wait no that's that's charlie and the chocolate factory oh yeah good call i was like wait did he try to put Deuce in the Chocolate River? Wait, that's different. Yeah, also different.
But that's okay. So John Gruden has – he's got his quarterback library where he's got all the VHS tapes because he's the last person on earth with a cassette player in his house.
And they're all like game film of Baylor games from 1999 or whatever where he wanted to highlight one little route option that was put into the system. And then he's got Dark Side of the Moon on CD, and right next to it he's got a cassette of The Wizard of Oz, and that's the only movie that he's ever seen.
And it's just a picture of Al Riveron's face slowly morphing. The son of a bitch.
Like that motherfucker fucked us. I did notice that his face was frozen more often today than it was moving.
He was not happy. Derek Carr, the relationship.
It is awkward that those two have a house next to each other in Las Vegas. Because I feel like that's going to.
It was trending up for a while there. It looked great.
And the last few weeks is not look so great. Derek Carr is definitely come over and ask to borrow some inappropriate shit.
Just no, he's he's definitely come over to ask for something that you can blatantly see in his garage. So you realize he's just asking for conversation.
He's like, hey, can I borrow, you know, like your your shovel real quick? And he's got like six shovels on a rack in his garage. You're like, dude, he's like, well, I just wanted to see, like, if you're going to watch the game later.
I think he might be one of those guys that's like a roommate that you've had that's too comfortable borrowing, like, your personal effects. Like, hey, you got any nose spray? Yeah.
That I can also use in my nostril? Yeah, I wore your underwear by accident. Yeah, sorry.
We have the same kind of me undies. Yeah, sorry, our undies got mixed up in the laundry and well derek we got two different machines yeah it's weird yeah wizard of Oz or something did it my bad um all right so that game the raiders are done they're done done chained them um the broncos and the chargers i don't really know at this point what's happening.
The fact that like we make this joke, but it really is crazy that the Chargers play the exact same game every single Sunday afternoon. It is.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
It's nice to know that, that some things in this life are constant. They got screwed by a PI.
Andy Reid after a bye week. Yep.
Thanksgiving. You're always going to have one racist uncle that you have to tweet about to get content.
And then Phillip Rivers is is going to be down by a score late in the fourth quarter and you're going to be sitting there watching it be like wait didn't we do this last week and the week before and the week before i thought this was going to be the week that phil rivers got benched because did you see that report that they might do it um and they kind of benched him they stuck their toe in the benching yeah rivers water yeah because they Terod in at quarterback, and they put Rivers out at wide receiver, but then they ran a play where Rivers got to throw a forward pass as a wide receiver. Yes, yeah.
They're like sending the slowest message possible to Philip Rivers. Like eventually, if you keep fucking up, we might not.
We might only have you run the ball as a quarterback. They did.
They're like, have you ever, have you ever thought about like an open relationship? Like we'll still stay together. Just throwing it out there.
Yeah. Just like you sees people, we not date, but you know, strictly physical kind of stuff.
Yeah. So Brandon or sorry, Drew Locke, maybe.
Yeah. I like Drew Locke.
You know why? He's lucky at all the right times. Yeah.
You have to be able to be really lucky at the perfect instances in the NFL. Like Nick Foles was really good at being lucky for a long, extended season.
Drew Locke looks like he's got the mojo. You remember at the Senior Bowl, he gave the scout the double finger guns when he answered the questions at the podium, so he's got some moxie to him.
I think that they probably should have overturned that first Cortland Sutton touchdown catch, but that was one of those instances where it was like that was a cool enough play where it would be criminal and turned over. Got to let it go.
Do the Broncos have the parent seats that they show during the game for the new quarterback? Because I'm pretty sure Drew Locke's parents were sitting in the exact same seats that Brandon Allen's parents were sitting in and doing the exact same thing where they would just show him after he made one good play and be like, this is it. This is the moment.
Yeah. So are those designated seats? I think so.
It's like where Michael Phelps' mom used to always sit during the swim. Yeah.
Yeah. So I think that they do have starting quarterback's mom seats.
Does Brandon Allen's parents, did they show up today? And they're like, oh, this is awkward. Yeah, they were in the seats.
And then Drew Locke's parents came down. They was like, well, no, look at ours.
Yeah, look at the starting quarterback. Yeah, your seats are actually directly behind John Elway's ass.
Yeah, he's going to fart on you. You have to sit with Joe Flacco and his seven kids.
Yeah. So, sorry.
All right, last up before we do a little who's back and thanksgiving recap um we have what was the last game oh jared goss back big time that's pretty much it and blake bortles got in played well blake bortles got in played great so yeah this was the finally the rams this was the oh that's the rams again are we gonna say anything nice about kyler Murray today? Because I feel like he's been very tough to judge. I turn on these Sunday shows, and then there's always somebody that's saying that Kyler Murray is a superstar.
Yeah. Or that he's going to be great.
And then there are games like this where he doesn't play well. Well, what they need to do is they need to make a rule where if you have a new coach and new quarterback and you're not going to make the playoffs you can end the season at any point that you want so after kyler murray's last good game they can be like we're done we're done with this season we're not going to play any more games let's end on a high note because this always seems to happen where like you'll have the rookie quarterback who has moments and then as the season goes along in december hits they're like oh they sometimes he kind of sucks and this is kind of a bummer sometimes they just need to be able to end on a high note if you you can just forfeit the rest of the season and say we end on a high note let's we're excited for next year guys yeah the only note I made here and I guess the Cardinals have had their they've had a couple games where they could have ended the season where Kyler Murray looked really really good right uh today was not that day they might get another one in the next couple I mean what's their schedule were they they were off a bye which is pretty inexcusable for being that bad well yeah with the Arizona Cardinals it's like I don't remember when they last played because they're kind of inconsequential just in general but they play a Thursday game I don don't know their stadium no jim their stadium looks like it'd be very comfortable to get tackled in yes their grass looks extremely soft it actually is because they wheel it in and out if i had to pick one place to get ran over by derrick henry one stadium would probably be in uh in scottsdale or whatever it is yeah no it's true it's it's actually a great point it looks always looks a little moist and very lush.
And, yeah, that's a good way to end that game. Yep.
Yeah, there you go. All right, so you got a quick add before we do Thanksgiving recap, and then we can end with some who's back in college football recap.
Yeah, I want to talk about Brave. Part of my take is brought to you by Brave.
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So join Brave's mission to fix the internet and switch browsers today at brave.com slash take that's brave.com slash take to switch to brave for free today brave yesterday was about big tech today is about us uh deshaun watson said that he and aj mccarron pulled the td play from the bears okay, maybe some coach of the year. No big deal.
No big deal. But if you sat there and said, hey, could you imagine if Mitch Trubisky could do this play? Well, he did.
He did it on a two-point conversion. I was going to say I thought the cat stat was still alive, but it's not because the Bengals won.
The Bengals won. But also the team that they beat was on the field when the Black Cat came out.
So there was a stat after the Black Cat ran on the field, the Cat teams were 0-12 from that point on. They're now 1-14.
Still not great. Still not great.
I think we had this exact same stat, but it was about Mercury being in retrograde. All the Cat teams were losing, but we were too dumb to put together the fact that it was also the black cats appearance yeah coinciding with mercury mercury going into record also while we're on just weird uh animal things swagger jr probably in awl because he got a little ahead of himself after we called his dad a loser and his dad is a loser dad's a loser but so is he yeah well.
You gotta beat the Steelers. You gotta beat the Steelers if you want to be a winner.
He's still winning. Nope.
Sniger Jr. Loser.
2-1. You're only as good as your last game.
Yeah. So, step it up or it's off the glue factory, buddy.
Quick Thanksgiving recap because that happened. Those games happened, but it happened forever ago.
I just wrote down three quick things. I'm all the way back in on Mitch, as you probably guessed.
I did guess that. Let me say it is great to watch on Sunday when you see the fantasy update at the bottom of the screen for the first half hour.
It was like Mitch Trubisky, number one. He was good.
That last drive, he was good. And people say it's the Lions.
I don't give a fuck. I'm also like Matt Nagy and Mitch Trubisky.
I'm in the camp now. And this is very reactive of me.
But just keep the same thing next year. Because I've convinced myself, whatever.
They've shown a couple times where it's like, oh, maybe that was what last year was like was. That just do it again next year.
And then if next year sucks, tear the whole fucking thing. You're going to future you.
This is the ultimate future problem that you're putting on right now. You're saying, oh, I'll deal with another 16 games of this duo that has made my life a living hell.
If they lose the Cowboys on Thursday, I will be singing a very different tune. Okay.
So it's all based on how you're feeling, It is very much in the moment, day-to-day, week-to-week feeling here where I'm back in, dare I say, portal game on Thursday. It is, yeah.
You can say that. You're still in the hunt.
Maybe above 500. I can just picture you on Thursday morning.
You're getting ready for Thanksgiving. You're probably sipping a little champagne, watching the Bears beat the Lions,

feeling like you're on cloud nine. Almost not win.
This is it. This is it.
This is the team. They're putting it all together.
I also threw out a stat that I don't think anyone got what I was getting at, but I was like, teams that are above 500 this late in the season, like the majority of teams above 500 this late in the season go to the playoffs. That's a fact.
Over 50%? okay there you go just ride with it that's hey we're gonna ride with it uh the cowboys on the

other hand they stink was this a case of the cowboys stinking or the buffalo bills being a

juggernaut no the bills are very good i think the bills i think josh allen is creeping into that

i don't know we haven't labeled our tears yet i keep saying we have to label yeah quarterback

tears josh allen could win you a super bowl it is crazy that people don't talk about josh allen the way that we like baker got the same thing that sam donald has gotten at times josh allen is good he is good and the the bills something's changed with their offense where they have just clicked in the last i think they sent their offensive coordinator up to the booth which is always a always a great football guy move. Got to get a better angle.
Yeah, when you send your guy up to the booth, he has to go with usually three things go alongside with him. One, a water bottle.
Two, a mystery cup that's just filled with dip spit. And then three, like four pencils that he never picks up.
Yeah, and like 16 Diet Cokes. Yeah, Diet Coke, you're right.
Diet right diet coke water and then mystery cup that's just filled to the brim with school yeah yeah um but yeah josh allen like he's accurate their their defense is rolling their offense is looking great the bills i'm so happy for buffalo like i have a couple friends from buffalo and they're like this is the biggest win in my lifetime it's like it's thanksgiving Cowboys they're nine and three awesome it's like the highest rated cbs game in a long long in years the vibes are awesome and uh you're going down gary that guy confirmed alive there was rumors that he was dead he is alive he was dead confirmed that he's alive right right so he's back from the dead literally literally back from the dead. I did an interview on NPR last week.
He was dead sober during that rant, which is crazy. That's the type of fan.
He's just a diehard fan. That's the type of person that you get in Western New York.
Love it. So all popped up on sodium and tables.
And he said he was doing it to save. There was a little kid that was doing the interview.
Yeah. And he was struggling, so he stepped in.
He's the Mo Cheeks of Buffalo i like that beautiful as for the cowboys so i floated this theory before we started taping but is there a chance that we are getting absolutely bamboozled by kirk cousins and his quote-unquote big wins this year because now his big wins were against the eagles and prime time against the cowboys and i think both those teams might end up under 500 so then we just go back to the old kirk cousins stat where he never beats teams that end above 500 so what what wins does he have this year over 500 teams it's uh so the bears are 500 i don't know if that's it's it's it's how they finish though that finished though. That's right.
Right. That's what I'm saying.
Like at the time they might've been good. Right.
So he, it's just so funny how it's all like the NFL season is working out where these wins were like, this is the Kirk cousins win that finally did it. And then you realize the Cowboys are complete clusterfuck and they suck and the Eagles suck.
And what? They, they still haven't beaten a team that's going to be over 500 they still haven't so and Kirk Cousins is breakout year all right so they've got but they've got Seattle so they'll play one team they're gonna lose tomorrow night they're gonna play against Seattle they'll get killed they're gonna play Green Bay later on the season that will be the test but it's so funny how he did this was genius. Just have the teams that you play be decent when you play them

and have them suck the rest of the year.

He's like a very shitty version of King Midas

where everything that he touches, everything that he beats,

turns to exactly average.

Yes, the Vikings are going to go to the playoffs this year,

and we're going to look back and be like, wait, Kirk Cousins,

do we feel good about him?

And then realize they just didn't beat anyone. Yeah.
All right, so I was right to put the dun chain on him. I guess so.
All right. So apology taken back.
Taken back. Sorry, Kirk.
I should have just apologized again. The last thing is the Saints clinched it, but we had the most electric moment in basically the season with the onside kicks.
Yeah. Young Weiku is an onside kick specialist.
Incredible. He's a fucking wizard.
Incredible. Incredible.
Three in a row. Three in a row.
And none of them were particularly close either. No, he, I don't know how, can you use a roster spot on just, you'd have to, you'd have to do it like once a game.
Cause you couldn't just use it for the end of the games. But if he's that good, why not just have him on the team? Just do that.
I think this week Sean Payton's probably going to have Taysom Hill just like strapped to a chair like Clockwork Orange, staring at film, teaching himself how to do the onside kick. That was such a Taysom Hill game.
Yes. I mean, he did everything.
Blocked the punt, caught the pass, threw it. Did he throw a touchdown? I think he threw a pass.
I don't know if he threw a touchdown or not. Ran for one.
Yeah. Ridiculous.
All right. Let's do who's back of the week, and then we'll wrap up with some college football rivalry week.

Hank, you want to do – you start with your who's back of the week?

Sure.

I got a couple.

My first one is Curb.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Curb's back.

Curb your enthusiasm.

No way.

Tweeted out a teaser today.

Larry David struggling with the toaster for two years.

Did some research.

It's coming back in January.

Fuck yes. That was a nice little, like, in the middle of a Sunday scaries After a long weekend That was a nice little pick me up Yep And my other who's back is Christmas music Yep And just Christmas music debates Because like apparently Britton voted that Mariah Carey All I Want for Christmas is You Is the worst Christmas song Oh so guess what Britton what, Britton? You have the worst Christmas song, that Paul McCartney fucking song.
Which one is that? Ding dong, ding dong. Do they know it's Christmas? Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Yeah, that is trash. That song sucks.
So, throwing it right back at you. You got one, PFT? Give us a hot take.
My Who's Back or my favorite Christmas song of all time? No, What's a popular Christmas song that sucks? Ooh, I mean, that is probably the worst right there. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
I don't think it gets any worse than that across the board. And it just plays so much, and it's all in your head over and over.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. I'm not a big silent night guy.
Mrs. Lockwood be sending you an advent calendar this year wow when i went home last weekend for my vacation she sent me home with two advent calendars one for me no oh fuck because i ate all of hank's chocolates on day one that's right you just popped them all open i mean you can't do that to me yeah i know the chocolate's in there he's like a dog i see dog.
I see it. Come on, I want the chocolate.
He just gets rooting around. And it was one of those classic situations where if you eat like five days, you might as well just eat them all and just say someone came and ate all the chocolates.
You can't leave 20 days with chocolates and five empty. So where is that? It's at my house.
Will you be bringing it in? Probably not. Please do.
I'll think about it. Please bring it in by no later than the third day.
I would like 22 chocolates. Okay.
That sucks that it stops at Christmas too, huh? What? Like the advent calendar. Yeah, we should have an advent calendar.
It should go all throughout the- Yes. Actually the whole year.
An advent calendar for the entire year. Instead of a word of the day, you just get a treat every morning.
One piece of chocolate every single day. We should get calendars that are just every other day, like when our shows are.

So we get chocolates every time we do a show.

Oh, that's good. Ooh.
Okay.

I like that. We should get...
Instead, we just get sugar-free Red Bulls

and... A $75,000 check.

Yeah, that's true. We can buy a lot of

chocolate. We should sell part of my

Take Advent calendars, but we just put

random things, like a half-eaten Jolly Rancher.

Just things that we find that we find around here? Yeahint from my belly button so just trash we just sell trash no but some days like the first day back from uh the first football monday is uh a big buffalo wig okay yeah inside your habit that was my third who's back at cyber monday oh yeah Monday Oh yeah Check it out Check it out Tonight Tonight My first who's back Of the week Is Coach K's Health problems Oh yeah Thoughts and prayers I hope he's okay I hope he's alright No no But Hank It's Monday right Come on We want to send our best To Coach K On Wednesday Or Tuesday night You're making this podcast look bad by talking about something that happened so long ago.

Yeah, that was basically Tuesday night already.

We need to raise awareness because maybe somebody out there in our listening audience

is experiencing the same symptoms as Coach K.

He's an old man.

In which case, you should go to the doctor immediately.

So they lost to Stephen F. Austin.

You guys are sick fucks.

He's got Stephen F. Austinitis.

Yep.

And first time a number one team has lost to that low ranked of a team.

Ken Palm, yeah.

On Ken Palm in what, like 20 years?

Forever.

Forever.

Since Ken Palm was born.

Since he came out of his mom's little belly.

Big cap made me bet on Duke.

So much so.

Yeah, it was a bad bet.

Hey, what do you want me to say?

It was a bad fucking bet.

So much so that he got Ken Palm disease.

Literally an upset stomach.

What did he say?

He said he wasn't feeling right that day?

Yeah, in retrospect, he was like,

just so you guys know, I was sick that day.

I love when stereotypes just like,

hey, that stereotype and joke you've been making,

it's actually true.

Love it.

Speaking of reinforcing stereotypes.

Oh, poor tummy tum tum.

Actually, Stephen F. Austin made Coach K's tummy hoot.
Speaking of reinforcing stereotypes. Oh, poor tummy tum tum.
Actually, Stephen F. Austin made Coach K's tummy hood.
Speaking of reinforcing stereotypes. He's 70 plus.
I just replied, come on, for that. Because he can't be serious.
Oh, he's very serious. He's very seriously ill.
Don't count it as a loss. He was sick.
As far as I'm concerned, it's not a loss. My other who's back of the week is Greg Sciano.
Yep. That's right.
Coach Sciano, as first reported by Leroy the dog like a month ago, he is accepting the offer. Wait, but I thought he retracted.
No, he never retracted. Oh, you retracted on behalf.
No, I did not. I don't speak for my dog.
But you said it wasn't going to happen. The Twitter account has not deleted the tweet.
He tweeted out. He was earlier than Ari Abraham on any of his reports.
That kid is fucking back. I hate him.
I know. So Leroy tweeted out that Shiano was accepting the job.
He did accept it after word got out that he was demanding, like, use of a private jet to be named, like, the Air Shiano or whatever. Basically, that private jet is just as much of a biohazard as any Patriots can crisscrossing the country.

So he's back at Rutgers.

He's going to return them to their glory years of going 5-5.

So shout out to Coach Sciano.

We knew that you had it in you.

All right.

My who's back is officially you can be socially acceptable to be drunk at all times season.

That's it.

That's the who's back.

You can just be drunk at this point in December. What? monday night football yeah yes even tonight yes i can have a beer tonight you can just be like a level of drunk slash full for the next 30 days you're just 25 days you're just merry at this point yeah you're jolly if you got a red red cheeks yeah it looks like you just came in from the cold's the spirit of the holidays.
Drink a little whiskey with your coffee in the morning on a Tuesday. Let's focus on 2020 season.
Right. We're on to 2020.
That's right. You can't get.
Let yourself go. It's impossible to be inappropriately drunk off eggnog.
Actually, a little life hack. If you are going to plan on getting in shape in 2020, eat a.
Oh, they just showed. Oh, my God.
The Dukes even have awesome. Did that just happened right now or was that last tuesday oh that's sports final so that's the final of the ninja warrior you can you can see coach k in the background he's having some stomach cramps oh man at the time it was a little poop in his pants yeah we should have spotted it then um yeah you get even fatter in december because then the pounds come off easier in january So get yourself up to a certain level.
Like this is where you let yourself go. So then you basically the first week of your diet, you will lose so much weight by just not eating horribly and being drunk all the time that you'll feel great.
By just not being a shithead any longer. Now, the danger is that you just become a shithead over these next three weeks and so that's where you get yourself in the quicksand also it's uh holiday holiday party time who's back and uh try not to embarrass yourself yeah don't be karaoke don't do any billy idol don't be the drunkest person there yeah be the second drunkest that's probably the most i'd say depending on your like we should actually make a chart for the awls i think you can't be the second drunk as if you're in a company of like 15 you need to it you need to be you need to be in like the 10 to 20 percentile of drunkest that's so everybody's in the 10 to 20th percentile of drunkest so if you have 10 people in your office office, you can be the second drunkest.
No, you can't be. Yeah, you can.
Yes, you can. OK.
If you are in a bigger office, if you're the second drunkest, then you might as well be the drunkest because everyone would be like, that guy was really drunk. Right.
So if it's smaller, then there's more degree of separation between you and the drunkest person. Right.
And everyone's everything's memorable. So it's like, it's OK.
He was the he was clearly the drunkest. But if you're in a party of 100, the drunkest guy might not get seen by everyone, so you might be seen as the drunkest.
So don't be the Steve Sarkeesian, be the Steve Spurrier. Yes, that's perfect.
Write that down and put it on a card and read it right before you start your holiday party. Yep.
All right, let's... Also, Kyle Sater's back kyle sloater is back i i mean i

hate that when i saw that name i was like oh pft the sloater city madman he made it happen um he's

good i'm telling you kyle sloater is good there was a lot of interest from the xfl if he wasn't

going to get a starting job or at least a full-time job in the nfl yeah sloater's back and he's here

to stay baby um all right let's do we're so football guy of the week we're going to put it

on the blog again so go check it out we'll tweet it. We have some good nominees this week.
We'll also do a vote on Twitter. Let's do one last ad and let's do a college football roundup real quick from Rivalry Week and we'll send everyone on their way.
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Join the movement today. Okay, what a weekend uh where should we start should we start with our guy harbaugh yeah let's let's start with harbaugh because i think you and i will probably differ on what to make of jim harbaugh what do you mean i say who cares well i say if you're a michigan fan keep harbaugh around he's going to be good

he's always going to be good if he doesn't beat ohio state who cares no i mean i'm i'm actually kind of agreed just because the michigan myth is one of the greatest myths going in all of college sports they have won a half a national title in the last 60 years right and they make you think that they matter and that they're on the level of Alabama and USC and Ohio State and Clemson even now. That's what the Michigan myth is.
So I think realistic Michigan fans probably are like, you know what, we aren't going to get better. It would be nice if he could beat the rival every now and then.
But I was just sad to see him so sad. He's lost.
They lost in a very similar way that they did last year and to lose like that two years in a row it's fucking tough and i i think it's one of those weird things where if you talk about expectations of a fan base jim harbaugh is an abject failure in that realm right like michigan fans as crazy as crazy as it is, they expect to win, be in the national title, even though everything in their history doesn't show that. But like in terms of who they are now, they're probably exactly this, a 10 win team and not on Ohio state's level.
And this is coming from a guy who roots for a team that's about to play Ohio State in Indianapolis and knows Wisconsin will never be on Ohio State's level. And that's just reality.
I think there's one other person that we should put the blame on here. And that's Adam Schefter.
Yeah. Adam Schefter has been dealing with a kidney stone for the last several months.
They've been on several months. Well, I assume that a kidney stone just doesn't show up.
And it's like, hey, what'm a kidney stone i'm just here now i assume it has to like develop i might have one so i don't

know yeah so he has spent he's known that he's had to pass this kidney stone for an entire week

but it's been growing and he said that can't be that big he passed it 90 minutes before kickoff

classic p-boy just pissed something out right before the most important game of the season

uh as that kidney stone was growing michigan was good and they were they were beating good teams ish shefter got rid of their good luck charm that that shard of calcified stone that was growing inside his bladder and cost him his team by shooting it out his urethra i like that uh another pointless adam shefter news he just tweeted this out as we were recording. And now, after that Sunday night loss in Houston, the Patriots won't land back in Foxborough until about 5.30 a.m.
when it will be time to get to work on Sunday's game plan against the Kansas City Chiefs. Wow.
As if the loss has anything to do with... As if Bill Belichick has never had to deal with playing Sunday night football on the road.
Right. Also...
Like if they won, they would still land at five 30 AM. And they would still be game planning against the chiefs.
Well, it would be a personal, personally a bad flight for Adam Schefter because he would have to piss the entire time. And the bathrooms will be filled with people shitting their brains out with the flu.
Yeah. That's what he thinks is.
Yeah. He's like, they're not going to have to go five hours without urinating.
Yeah, certainly. So, uh, the Michigan back to Michigan.ugh i feel bad for him um because he's lost and ohio state is that good i just think it's a weird it and whenever you deal with michigan people it's like weird because there's normal michigan people who kind of get it and then there are i won't name names but people in the media who are michigan men who who think that Michigan is on that level of like the cream of the crop college football programs.
And they're not. What you should be worried about if you're a Michigan fan is not that you can't beat Ohio State because, as we've said, like they're a juggernaut and it's tough to compete against that.
What you should be worried about is that your good coach is going to get so emotionally beaten down by losing to Ohio State that he's going to leave. Yeah.
Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, I don't know what you do.
Harbaugh was your golden guy. So what are you going to do now if he's not? And Ohio State lost Urban Meyer and the train keeps going.
Ryan Day, like, it's crazy. It's crazy.
I mean, we were talking about Greg Shano, but somehow Urban Meyer Urban Meyer and Greg Shano walk out the door, and Greg Shano a little bit different circumstance. Yeah, I would say so.
But they got, like, significantly better on defense, and their offense looks better than ever. It's crazy.
It's crazy. All right.
Saban crying about unfair play. Holy shit, dude.
Yeah. Speaking of Harbaugh's, that's a John Harbaugh move right there that is john harbaugh said it was unfair it's uh this is also is the saban thing it's going to become a is alabama's dynasty over because they're like uncharacteristically al like they're not alabama saban like team they have i was looking up their 121 in penalties this year, yardage.
They never have a good kicker, and their defense was abysmal. And they just lost.
I love Auburn. I love Auburn because Auburn is like that team that every few years just fucks shit up.
But then you look at it, the box score, and you're like, how did they do that? They scored 48 points, and Bo Nix was like 15 for 30 for like 140 yards. Yeah, it was a great game to watch.
And the ending, the missed field goal. Missed field goal.
And for some reason, Alabama can't find a kicker. They can pay anybody else to go to school there.
But kickers, maybe it's good kickers, they usually come from well-to-do families that can send them to expensive camps over the summertime, so it's not as easy to pay them off to come to your school. But for whatever reason, you can't kick for Nick Saban.
I think it's the pressure. I think Nick Saban puts so much pressure on kickers, they just can't do it.
I can see that. He's so crazy.
I want to say there's got to be all sorts of crazy correlations that we can draw with the decline of Alabama football. And by decline, I mean, like, you know, they're still very, they're like, they were on the bubble to make the playoffs until this game.
This is the first time they won't, since the college football playoff was invented, that they won't be a part of it. Yeah, so by decline, I just mean Clemson winning occasionally, and now this.
Right. What in our society increased at the exact same time that Alabama started to decrease? Bitcoin.
Exactly. Boom.
Now everyone can pay their players more easily. Connected.
What else has increased? TikTok. TikTok.
Billy. What's her name? Billy Haisley or whatever with the hair.
Elish. Billy Elish.
Everyone's going to recruit. Travis Scott.
I actually think that, by the way, they're showing now, we're at the portion of the night. We haven't gotten all the way to American Ninja Warrior, but they're showing old school Shiano highlights.
Just pointing up at God that he doesn't believe in. If you're Greg Shiano, would you believe in God? He tells you he believes in God.
You see God every day in the mirror when you're looking at yourself. He'll tell you when he's sitting in that living room that he goes to church every Sunday.
I actually think that Dabo has just stolen Nick Saban's powers because if you look at Dabo and the shit he's saying, he is Nick Saban now. He was flipping out of people on the sideline when they were just kicking the shit out of South Carolina.
He said that a lot of people predicted them to be competitive in the ACC but not win it they were there ACC we're talking about the ACC our good friend Tom Franelli uh tweeted out that the over under for wins for Clemson in Vegas this year was 11 and a half not a lot of people expected Clemson to do this where that half game go that's where that go he's he is saving though now he's like finding any way to be like yeah the doubters and haters are out there no one has doubted or hated clemson also the acc i forget which division is but whatever one uva is in the coastal coastal they've had what seven different winners in the last seven years yep they finally reached it with virginia winning on on saturday they finally reached it. The ACC has just been trashed.
Incredible.

And everyone expected Clemson to win.

And then lastly, LSU

is awesome.

It's going to be an awesome playoff. I'm excited.

I'm very excited. So LSU

is going to make it no matter what. LSU, Ohio

State are definitely in. Clemson's

got to win and be in.

And

Georgia, if they win, they would be in. If not, it's going to be oklahoma i actually think baylor if they won and utah so one of those three could you imagine or if you want a two lost wisconsin team that beats ohio state and oh yeah maybe they slipped up against illinois but illinois was kind of good and then they lost by like three touchdowns northwest or if you're a real conference you'd have a 16 team playoff like fcs does yep i've They've already defeat by the way to ohio state so when you buckeye fans start saying like 59 nothing and like you know shitting on me on saturday night just know that what you're doing is wrong because i've already said you guys can win for the betterment of the big 10 i wouldn't want to embarrass ohio state and make them be the four seed elevate the conference i do not want to do I want the big, I'm conference over everything.
No, I'm with you. I don't want to embarrass Ohio State and make them be the four seed.
Elevate the conference. I do not want to do that.
I want the big – I'm conference over everything. No, I'm with you.
I don't want to see Ohio State be the four seed because then I want to have a final that's a Joe Burrow revenge game. You know how rare it is in college football to get a revenge game with your quarterback against their old team? Well, now it's getting a lot more.
We could have a double revenge game because Justin Field and Georgia. That's true.
Yeah. so georgia gets in there we go all these portals are making it easy everywhere cam newton probably had a chance for a couple revenge games right yes florida blend college uh yeah dell whatever apple whatever other schools didn't pay him microsoft a lot of them yeah um all right we're excited.
College football playoff coming up. We have some good guests.
We have. Should we say that we have one of the biggest interviews of our lives coming up this week? Just maybe give us, like, good thoughts and prayers.
Yeah, all I'm saying is just be very supportive of us. Our lives, too.
Over the next 24 hours. We can't tell you what it is just yet.
Yeah, 24 hours, 48 hours. But just be supportive of us.
Even if, like, I don't know, if you feel like talking shit to us, if you feel like trashing the Bears, just don't do it for the next couple days. Wait, why did you say that? I was giving you an example.
If you want to call Hank... Why'd you go right to the Bears? If you want to call Hank ugly and say that he was acting ugly on the show to me, don't do that to Hank.
Deshaun Watson is literally running Mitch Trubisky's plays now. Yeah, that's true.
He's copying us.

So just be real nice to us.

Yeah, we got a big week.

We got a big week.

And then on Friday, you get the Bears play on Thursday Night Football.

Yippee.

So you get that.

Whatever happens from that, too.

Big week coming up.

Love you guys.

Love you guys.

Boomerang.

Well, it's 9 a.m. on a Sunday.
The athletic director shuffles in. There's a loud man interviewing.
Just wants to be head coach again. Coach opened up a big binder that was filled to the brim with his plays.

It had dives, whams, and sweeps, and blitzes, and sneaks,

and the one where you dive at their legs.

Loss, loss, loss, loss, loss, loss, loss.

Loss, loss, win, win, loss.

Loss, loss, loss.

His name is Gregory Sciano. Burr! And he's just what the Vols need to break through.
He's big and he's scruffy and he drove over kids huffy when he coached at the OSU. Sing us a song, the Shiano man.
Sing us a song tonight. Well, you never were charged with a felony But you could have been a bit more contrite

Oh, loss, loss, loss, loss, loss

Loss, loss, win, win, loss

Loss, loss, loss

Now Greg never won the Big East Conference

He almost came close once or twice. But he cried like a baby and kept losing to Navy.
And then he blamed it all on Ray Rice. But he's paid his dues as a coordinator.
He leads the Ohio State's's D his ego's humongous

and he lives in Columbus

and he thinks he can coach

SEC

Sing us a song

you're the shadow man

Sing us a song tonight

Well you never

were charged with a felony

but you could have been

a bit more contrived