Nascar Champ Kyle Busch, Shorts Guy Chris Matthew + NFL Week 12 Picks And Preview

hey pardon my take listeners you can find every episode on apple podcast spotify or youtube prime members can listen ad free on amazon music on today's pardon my take we have nascar champ kyle bush in studio we tried to bury the hatchet with joey slogano with a phone call you'll see what happens there you'll see what happens there we have shorts guy the winnipeg blue bomber super fan who on a bet to himself said he would wear only shorts in canada until the blue bombers won a gray cup he said that in 2001 they have not won a gray cup but they're playing it in on sunday so he may finally get to put on pants again. We have NFL picks and preview a little fancy fuck boys and fire fest, a packed Friday show for you before we do all that though.
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Today is Friday, November 22nd, and Deshaun Watson and DeAndre Hopkins are electric. I'm actually happy for DeAndre Hopkins because the list of quarterbacks that he's had to play with in Houston has been just so bad.
It's like you feel bad for the quarterbacks he's played with, just like you feel bad for all Houston quarterbacks for the offensive line that they've had to play with over the years. So, so I got the list.
Here we go. Matt Schaub.
Great. Case Keenum.
Ryan Fitzpatrick. Ryan Mallett and his alarm clock.
Case Keenum again. Brian Hoyer.
Ryan Mallett again. TJ Yates, the Yates of Hell.
Brandon Whedon. This is a who's who of backup quarterbacks Brock Osweiler, Tom Savage Gardens Tom Savage Gardens again, Deshaun Watson, TJ Yates and now Deshaun Watson for the last two years the fact that it I always, like I remember it in the back of my head but the fact that it really is our trio of Tom Savage Brandon Whedon and TJ Y.
Like, that's incredible. The fact that they brought Ryan Mallet back again as, like, the better option tells you all that you need to know about that situation.
It's like verbal meme. You know that grizzly bear that catches everything behind that fence like the pieces of bread? Oh.
They throw at it? Verbal meme, I'm going to tell my kids this is Deshaun Watson. Yes, exactly.
And we are doing this because we're stalling because it's actually still with a few minutes left in the fourth quarter, and the Colts might actually win the game. But we have not said anything yet, declaratively.
Would we like to? I would like to declare at this point that I hope both teams have fun and that I hope somebody takes their helmet off and hits another player with it. The reason, though, we were talking about DeAndre Hopkins is if the game didn't have DeAndre Hopkins and Deshaun Watson, it would have been straight booty cheeks.
Yes. Because, listen, the Colts, credit to Frank Reich, credit to the Colts.
Wait, booty cheeks. I'm going to disagree with you because that implies good.
You're not an ass guy? No, no, no. Straight booty cheeks.
You need a round booty, not a straight booty. Flat booty cheeks.
Yeah, booty cheeks with a little poop in the crack. Hank Hill booty cheeks.
Yeah. So the Colts, they play a style that's not appealing to, I don't know, it's not to Sean Watson and DeAndre Hopkins.
Jacoby Brissett is a very good quarterback and they run the ball very well but it's not DeAndre Hopkins and Deshaun Watson. If you want to sound like a football guy you have to say but their offensive line is so much fun to watch if you grind the tape on them.
They got Quentin Nelson they got Lewinsky, Costanzo. Do you think Brian Baldinger do you think he even puts on pants when the Colts are playing in prime time? No he's like the Canadian guy that we're going to interview all the time.
Just shorts, but they're around his ankles the entire time. He probably makes himself a stack of pancakes and eats them while watching Quentin Nelson.
That's actually how he fucked up his finger where it looks like it's broken. Just by cranking his hog to game film of offensive line.
Yes, yes. Not a football injury.
I just realized, do the Colts play against the Bears this year? No. Fuck.
Because if you had Lewinsky going up against Clinton Dix in a game, that would be like my Super Bowl. Oh, wow.
Maybe next year. That might be next year.
Might be next year. I don't know.
All right, I got to get some tweets drafted. I got to fill up the folder for that one.
Get that ready. Get that going.
Actually, they did in the preseason. Shit.
Damn, you missed it. That was the game that Andrew Luck retired.
Before the... It was after the preseason game the Bears played the Colts.
So Lewinsky was dressed in blue with the white stripes on his uniform. Okay, got it.
Yeah. So, yeah, we don't know who won the game.
It'll be a choose-your-own-adventure. Let's just assume the Texans won and say they really have control of the AFC South.
Now let's assume the Colts won. They now really have control of the AFC South.
I need a Jim Irsay tweet, though, to tell me if the roof's going to be open on Sunday. I know they're not playing, but I want to know.
Yes. Got to know.
He definitely has a recurring calendar invite to himself. Pops up.
To tweet about the roof. Wednesday at 3 o'clock.
I got a busy schedule. Clear all my meetings.
I got a tweet about the roof. Yep.
So, yeah. So, we have week 12 coming up.
Let's see. We also quickly should say Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph.
That whole situation got a little bit weirder today. Big day for the notes app.
Yes. Huge.
We got a notes app off. So Miles Garrett had his hearing with the NFL.
He said that Mason Rudolph said a racial slur. Then the NFL went and looked, which I don't even know how they looked.
Is everyone mic'd up? I don't know. And said that they couldn't hear anything.
And I actually kind of feel bad for Miles Garrett because it sounds like he said it in a meeting that he didn't think was going to be public. So then it went public, and now the whole situation, now everyone's just fighting over this in a different realm of hitting someone over the head with a helmet is bad.
So everyone jumps to the idea that Mason used the big one, right? But I can't imagine Mason Rudolph saying the word Fredo. That doesn't seem like it's in line with what he's all about as a person.
All I'll say is that Mason Rudolph, and if the NFL looked through the tape and didn't find anything, I think it's unfair to just assume that he said something racially motivated to make Miles Garrett mad. I just know that I've seen Mason Rudolph's face enough.
Yeah, you just want him out of there for whatever reason possible. I've been on this for a long time.
Look, nothing against you, Mason. And Myles Garrett deserves to be suspended for the rest of the season, but nothing against you, Mason.
I don't like your face. What does it indefinitely mean for Roger? I want Roger Goodell to put together like a 40-page about this incident yeah using a former fbi director to comb through the audio and see if any racial slurs were uttered all i know is that they should have every player miked up for every game forever and how to actually i'd be more interested to know if they did find evidence that a racial slur was used in roger goodell's mind in his brain how does that affect the suspension i want to know how much yeah what's the way how does he weigh that in the nfl rule book yeah what does that mean but yeah there's there's no proof that he said it there's no proof i guess that he didn't say you just have to go with what you know at this point there's no evidence they said it so that's it yeah so we'll move on um and we will move on without miles gar Garrett for the rest of the year.
And again, I actually think that the punishment for the Steelers is not punishing Mason. The league punished the Steelers by not suspending Mason Rudolph.
Exactly. Yes.
Do not duck. Okay.
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It looks like it's December 21st. I was saying it looked like it's either December 21st or he's getting off the ski slopes, which he's never been on.
True. Just fucking crushed some slaloms.
I was saying it looks like maybe I'm a bicycle instructor. Yeah, that's it.
That plays. For some sort of national cycling team.
I feel like the hair plays with the bike industry as well. Yeah.
Yeah. You do have a little French vibe going on right now.
A little French boy vibe. Oh, yeah, I'll take it.
Big time. Okay, let's get to the preview.
Our weekend preview. NFL weekend preview.
Week 12. Don't say it.
Don't say it don't say actually let me get through this and then i want to talk about that real quick but mgm is pm team's home for sports betting this year you can download the app deposit and check out lines from anywhere but you need to be located in new jersey to place your bets and if you've been listening to the podcast every week or following us on social media you know i'm a believer that balls go further. Or PFT actually is a believer that balls go further in primetime.
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Also, my can't-lose parlay. I actually have a can't-lose parlay this week.
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Here is my can't lose parlay this week. Are you ready? Are you guys ready? ready there's no chance no chance the saints lose at home to the panthers unless it's sean payton letting the panthers have one because they let the bucks beat him last week no chance they'll let the falcons beat him to keep dan quinn no chance the panthers pop that bubble has popped with Kyle Allen.
He is not a real starter in the NFL. His hands are too small.
The Saints, the best thing they can do is stop the run. The only thing the Panthers can do is run.
But, Christian McCaffrey today was upgraded to a 90-90 Madden. I don't care.
That's huge. That's a Madden curse.
The Steelers are not going to lose to the Bengals, because Mason Rudolph has never lost a game after he's been accused of saying something racist. That's true.
Well, we don't know that. We don't know that.
Actually, I have no idea what his high school is. It might not.
That's true. We'll have to look into it.
And then, Hank, you'll like this part, the Patriots. So you basically need the Steelers and Saints, and then you get to just relax, and the Patriots will beat the Cowboys because all you've got to know about the Patriots-Cowboys game is Jason Garrett versus Bill Belichick.
Right. You have to think about that.
But also, jumping back to the second leg, you're not going to have a pouncey. That's fine.
You're not going to have a pouncey. The Bengals have a Finley.
They have one Finley, but they don't have a pouncey. And they also don't have a Tate, and they also don't have any weapons.
I think, actually, when we get to our picks, I also have another pick in that game because that game's going to be ugly. AJ Green is not back.
We don't know yet. AJ Green's never going to play.
AJ Green just kind of shows up. He's retired.
Yeah, they just say, AJ, you know what? Sit this out. We're going to pay you.
And then when you're healthy, we'll trade you. And Auden Tate, who has been very good, I think is hurt very badly.
And then the Steelers, yeah, it's going to be an ugly game. Ugly, ugly game.
AFC North football. Steelers defense will not let Ryan Finley beat them.
What, Hank? He's not ruled out. He just said it will be tough for Green to play Sunday since he's not practicing.
It's going to be tough to play. Tough to start a guy that is more talented than the rest of your team.
This rivalry, though, it's different. It is.
It slaps different. Damn, it sucks.
That's a shitty... This is a shitty...
Five years ago, I would have been so pumped for this game. How many touchdowns do you think mink is getting today oh at least three i think i think mink is racking up maybe four three five sixes three pick sixes a fumble a fumble six and a uh an interception on a two-point conversion okay so that game sucks and we have a very lopsided week 12 i teased this before we did the ad i am sad that it is week 12 but i'm going to give everyone a pep talk right now because yes it's week 12 and you're thinking oh my gosh where is the season gone just remember bowl season playoff football those are the best two things that you can think of when you think of football like bowl bowl season, wall-to-wall bowl season, and then playoff football, wild card Saturday and Sunday.
Oh, my God, that's the best. So fret not, we're getting towards the end of the regular season, but we still got a lot of great football left.
And it doesn't even mean that the season is more than half the way over. So when you get to the wild card week and you get to the divisional round week, even though there are only two games on each day,

it's still the exact same duration of football. You're still on your couch

for the same amount of time. So as far as I'm concerned,

those are full weeks. And college

football, it's the longest college football

season ever. The national

championship is January 13th. I saw

that. I thought that was a mistake.
I was like,

wait, double digits? Yes. Let's go.

Yes. It's such a big difference that we get all the way to January 18th.
And then the week after the Super Bowl, XFL starts. Yeah.
So really, March Madness. There's no offseason.
By the way, I saw the collective bargaining that's going on right now, and the NFL might have a work stoppage, but we're not going to talk about that. The season going extra, like if they make it a 17-game season, but or 18-game season with two buys, I'm so in for that because the Super Bowl on President's Day weekend, we can finally have the Monday holiday, which is actually a fake holiday, but more than that, March Madness is like one week after.
It's perfect. It bridges the gap.
Conference tournament weekend comes like right after that. It bridges the gap.
Does anybody actually get President's Day off? No, I think it's just a totally fair. I think it's like city workers, government workers.
If you work for a president, then you get the day off. Does the stock market close? Probably.
Those stock market guys are lazy. I mean, good for them.
They do all the coke. They need some time to sleep in every now and again on every single holiday.
But they take every little fake half day off. Good for them.
Yeah, good for them. Webistics.
Matthew Bevilacqua. Okay, let's talk some Week 12.
So we have three premier games. We have the Seahawks and the Eagles, the Cowboys and the Patriots, and the Packers and the 49ers.
Every other game has some variation of this sucks. So, like, for example, if you want to go Bucs-Falcons, I don't know.
That kind of sucks. Like, are the Falcons going to win out? Maybe.
Sure. Steelers-Bengals we talked about.
Dolphins-Browns. That kind of sucks.
It's lopsided. It's a lopsided week.
It's a very Lions-Redskins. Carolina and New Orleans.
Lions-Redskins. Well, that's just shit.
We should talk about that. That's just all shit.
Because tickets are going for $4. $4 to $10 in the Upper Bowl area.
I had an idea. So I saw...
You know me. I'm a bargain hunter by my very nature.
It's in my blood. We could buy a shitload of tickets.
Give them away for free to people wearing Dayglo t-shirts. Yep.
But buy all the tickets in a pattern that says, sell the team. Or, I thought that might be unrealistic because then I'd have to figure out exactly what seats were where.
I don't think that's the unrealistic part. Really? I think the unrealistic part is actually getting people to go to the game, even with a free ticket.
I think if they knew that they were part of a larger movement, they wouldn't be there for the game. They would go to a Redskins game just to show Dan Snyder how much they didn't want to go to a Redskins game.
I think you'd have to pay the people to go. Okay, so we could roll that into the cost of the tickets.
If we had a budget of $20 a ticket, we'd probably need to buy, what, 50 tickets? SeatGeek. You listening cash out? SeatGeek and Cash App.
Hey, fuck with the vision. Let's build.
But the problem I think we're going to run into is figuring out what seats would spell out sell the team. That could be nice.
So then I was thinking what we should just do is just Photoshop it. I like that.
Yes. Let's do that.
Perfect. And keep the cash that Cash App gave us.
Yeah, we're no, yeah. And the discount that Seeky gave us.

Well, we need to pay the graphic designers.

We don't want to just, you know.

No, Triggs will do it.

Triggs will do it.

Okay, so what we'll do is we're going to.

Here's the deal.

It's going to be a pack between us and our listeners, okay?

Yep.

So listeners.

Don't tell Triggs.

No, don't tell anyone that it's Photoshopped when we tweet it out, okay?

And also don't tell Triggs that we're not paying him from the Cash App money.

That we're pocketing this. Yeah.
That's between us. Mm-hmm.
Triggs listens. okay and also don't tell triggs that we're not paying him from the cash app money that we're pocketing this yeah that's between us triggs listens but yeah don't tell him make sure you don't tell yes uh this game is sad though four dollars and you know what it's uh it's one of those things i think the redskins twitter account needs to get to a point where that you know how you can do that option on twitter where you can't be tagged in pictures i think they need need to untag themselves in pictures.
They need to lose. On Instagram as well.
Yeah. Because people keep tweeting about it.
Also just lose the verified checkmark. Yeah.
I'm excited for the Redskins tweets on Sunday. It's a must follow on Sundays when they get a field goal down 27-3 to Jeff Driscoll.
There will be a halftime update with the score. And then there will be a final.
It will just period 30 to 3 Detroit Lions it's gonna be ugly it's gonna be ugly all right so um yeah so we have those three premier games and the nice thing is they're in three different slots also we do this every time this happens but NFL fuck you only two four o'clock games and one of them happens to be Jaguars Titans which I actually did like the sour beer face when I saw that. That's a Thursday night game.
It's a Thursday night game, and you put it on Sunday. But seriously, two 4 o'clock games, that's just not right.
You know what that makes me do? And I'll tie this right into our picks for the weekend. It makes me have to take the over in the Cowboys-Patriots game.
Of course. Because that's the game that we're going to be watching.
Of course. Joe Buck, I'm pretty

sure, is going to be announcing it. Either him

or Tony Romo. Either way, it's going to

be an over voice that we're going to hear.

It's Joe Buck, yeah. So you always bet the over when

Buck's calling the game. That was an easy

call for me. Alright, so let's do our picks.

Hank, why don't you start? Give us your

favorite. The Raiders.

Ooh, going west to east.

Interesting. Time zones.
Raiders and Chargers, two biggest time zone teams. For some reason, I don't feel...
Seahawks? No, when the Seahawks go east, I don't think it affects them. Really? That's my point.
If you tell me Raiders and Chargers going to the east coast, I'm like, oh, that's bad. Chargers for sure.
Jets are actually an East to West team. If the Jets go West, they lose.
I would say that it's the Jets. Yeah.
Well, yeah, that's true. You get jet lag.
Good point. I would say that if you go from Seattle, they're more of a North to South team.
So like the further they go South, the more I'm like, well, they're out of their element. Yeah.
That's a totally different biome. All right.
Your favorite. My favorite is this is going to be my lock.
So last week I think I had the triple platinum lock. Yeah, this is the five golden goose.
This one's going to be my thermite accelerant flaming lock of the week. So this is a big fucking fire, okay? It's the Buffalo fucking Bills minus four at home against the Broncos.
If that loses, you don't like it, Hank? Nah. You think the Broncos are going to go into Orchard Park and push Josh Allen around? I don't know.
I just don't know. I don't want to talk negatively about Josh Allen.
It's that time of year where the Bills... It's not going to push Josh Allen around.
It's just... I don't know.
That's a weird game to me. A screw comes loose.
Another screw comes loose. A wheel falls off.
I also feel like the... Are you talking about the wagons? The bills get high and then they get...
Although I like it because the Broncos just came. Their whole season's over and Vic Fangio's not a people person.
Right. So I like it.
I'm in on it. They're also going from elevation to sea level.
Yeah, I'm in on it. They're going to be suffocating from all the oxygen.
I like that. All right.
My favorite. I'm going to take the 49ers.
Listen, this is setting up to be a disastrous season for me where I convince myself the Packers are frauds every single week until they win the Super Bowl, and then I cry in a puddle. So that's what's going to happen.
They're a fraud. I think their defense is a fraud.
And then every Packer fan tweets me like, what are you talking about? You're just mad about it. Yeah, I am.
Okay. They got Devontae Adams back.
Whatever. Whatever.
Listen, I know that I'm setting myself up for hurt, but I'm going to do it. Greg Kittle's coming back.
That's nice. Yeah.
Hank, your underdog. Crushing loss last week with the Broncos.
Plus 400 man lost, but I'm going back on the train. Dolphins as the underdog take them on the money line as well.

Ooh! Okay. I would like to see I would like, this is the week where I would like to see

the Bills lose because Bills fans would lose their

minds if the Browns lost, like

Browns Nation would fall apart. You're just mean.
Yeah, you are.

You're just bitter, Hank. Meany.

What? Meany. You're just stank Lockwood

over there. I mean.
That's mean.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
The reason

behind your picks is just because you want to watch the world burn? No, well, I'm the plus 400 man. The Dolphins are the only plus 400 option.
But then thinking about it afterwards, it's like, well, the Browns coming off of last Thursday. If somehow they lose this game, think about the chaos.
Think about the takes. I'm thinking about the show.
I'm thinking about the quality of the show. Oh, don't do that.
The takes would be stronger if the Browns lost the game. They're so good to us.

PFT, you're underdog.

My underdog, I'm going to fade Hank on this one big time.

My underdog is the Jets.

Jets plus three.

Run the table.

Yeah.

We're in the middle, the early stages of the table running.

Yes.

But I think that they could handle their business at home.

Okay. I'll take the Seahawks plus one.

Russell Wilson is an underdog, 23-7-1 against the spread in his career. That's the wonkiest line of the year.
That is a wonky line, but this is also one of those situations where it's a double trick game. You look at it and you say, why are the Seahawks underdogs? So you trick yourself to take the Eagles, and then you say, wait, but why would I do that? Trick back to the seahawks underdogs so you trick yourself to take the eagles and then you say wait but why would i do that trick back to the seahawks it's also double trick it's also a bird matchup which as we realized birds are awesome in retrograde oh yeah that's right that's right uh over bucks falcons oh bucks lore yes bucks every single over basically ever the bucks have had.
And I'm excited for Jameis being in a dome so maybe he can see his receivers for once he's returning to the scene of the eating of the W no that was in New Orleans are you sure? yeah it's still a dome it's still a Mercedes Benz dome still a dome in My over is the Cowboys and the Patriots, as I said earlier. Okay.
It's an over bet that you have to make. I'm going to take the Bears and Giants over 40.5, and I'll tell you why.
Chase Daniel, today, quote, I told him, talking about Mitch Trubisky, I thought today he threw the ball as best as I've ever seen him on a Thursday. And that's the fact.
That's 100% truth. Which makes me totally believe him.
The fact that he had to say it's the fact and also that it's 100% truth. No, really.
No, really. No, no.
Seriously, dude. Swear to God.
You actually hit all your receivers on of practice. The fact that he had to back it up like two times by saying how truthful it was makes it definitely sound like a statement that he wouldn't have said if it wasn't.
Yeah, oh no, he's totally telling the truth. And again, he was talking about throwing the ball in a practice.
On a Thursday, though. On a Thursday.
Specifically a Thursday. True, that is when they implement the game plan.
Exactly. So, if you don't think Mitch is about to get hot, well, you don't believe Chase Daniel is saying facts and 100% truths.
And Chase Daniels has seen a lot of quarterbacks throw on a lot of Thursdays from the sidelines. That's been his entire career.
That's exactly right. Okay, I like that.
How embarrassing is that quote? I mean, you've got to take what you can get at this point. And Daniel Jones is going to be good for at least six pick sixes in this game.
Hank, you're under. Let's finish up with the under.
That would be a nice distraction, weren't it, if Daniel Jones just stunk it up out there? Oh, it's much needed for someone else to be back. Have Mitch go 11 for 20 for like 90 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions, and Daniel Jones throws three picks.
Six pick sixes. That's a great day for you.
Six pick sixes would be incredible. Go ahead.
Under. bungles oh that's mine too okay yeah not a lot of points there's not there's no one's gonna score i don't know who's gonna score who's gonna score make any dalton andy dalton that running back possibly yeah that's pretty much it yeah yeah uh my under i'm gonna fade hank again i'm going tampa bay at atlanta 51 and a half that the Falcons' defense is good now somehow.
Could you imagine if the Falcons... Dan Quinn saved the Falcons by partially killing himself so that the owners didn't have to kill him.
So he gave up part of his play-calling duties on defense except for third downs. He divided play-calling amongst four people on his coaching staff.
So now Arthur Blank doesn't know who to fire. I want the Falcons to get back in this.
Because it is a pinky. The pinky bet just got completely erased this year.
But imagine if they ran the table and got a wild card spot. It'd be crazy.
They'd be the hottest team in football. I think the defense is good.
They'd have to win every single game. So they would be, by definition, the hottest team in football.
Yeah, and I think Bruce Arians is just in the, fuck it, Jameis. You go out there and you throw the ball whatever direction your eyes happen to be pointed in at that time.
As far as you can. Be you, Jameis.
We're all having fun with it. If you can't win, at least have some fun.
And that's just Jameis being Jameis. Okay, remember, BetMGM is the home for PMT this football season.
If you're a new user, you place your first bet of $1 or more on PFT's primetime field goal special. You'll get $25 for every field goal hit Sunday and Monday Night Football, but you've got to make sure to use your bonus code PMT when you sign up.
Also use your bonus code because if you use that, your million-dollar parlay. Oh, I got a million-dollar parlay.
Yeah. So use that.
I was just sitting back on Wednesday this week, and I was just doing all these different additions to a parlay that I had, and I figured out an eight-team parlay all on underdogs. I think it's the eight biggest underdogs of the week.
Okay. If you parlay the Dolphins, Broncos, Bengals, Giants, Panthers, Bucs, Redskins, and Cowboys, if you parlay all those shitty teams to win outright, it pays out $10,000 to one.

Hey, crazy things have happened.

If you bet $100 on that parlay, you win a million dollars.

Wow.

And who wants to be a million?

You should want to be a million.

Wait, are the Packers in that or no?

No, they're not in that.

Okay, so if you get to, or the Jaguars or the Titans?

All right, so if you get to the Cowboys portion, the NFL only has two games, so you could hedge out. You could hedge out.
All you got to do is win the first seven. Yep.
That's easy. You just got to get there.
That just made it the easiest parlay ever. It's really a seven-team parlay.
Yeah, right. And then the last one is free money.
Free money. All right, so go to BetMGM right now.
Use code PMT, and you get all those bonuses, and we'll see you guys on Monday night. All right, let's do some fantasy fuckboys, and we'll get to Kyle Busch and then Short Sky.
What's up, boys? It's Paulie Donahue. My stardom this week is my pectoral muscles.
The boys finally got a bench press. Yeah, we got one in the PMT studio, and it's soon enough that my pecs are going to be puffing out of my shirt.
I thought you said pet turtle. Pet turtle? That would be better.
You got pectoral? Turtles? Pectoral? Pokemon. My sit-em is ESPN at fucking Columbus, Ohio this weekend.
Oh, yeah. The kids are protesting.
It's fake news. It's a fucked up organization.
No one's gonna go to

game day. Fuck game day.

Fuck you. It's the end.
Why would you ever protest

against Ohio State and Penn State?

Dude, great. And who's the higher learning?

And my sleeper is Marcus Smartest

Defensive Player of the Year.

If you get the future in, probably like plus

2,000 right now. Take it up.

Put some money in your pocket. Paul, you're such a homer.

Who cares? It's November. Free money.
What's up, fuckheads? This is Giardinia De Laurentiis. I'm starting fake burner accounts this weekend.
Oh, fuck. I have that, too.
Fake burner accounts. Been there, done that.
Nace Nagelor, Diddy or Diddy, whoever deleted all those tweets had some alligator arms, that's for sure. You know the original fake burner account? What's that? The Reich's Typefire.
You knew that one, though. Oh, shit, yeah, that's true.
I'm sitting learning people's new names. There are too many new names out there.
All this stuff going. I'm sick of learning new names.
I can't stand it. Get out of here.
I hate learning new shit. Okay, I'm my sleeper.
Oh, yeah, you got your sleeper. It's Terry McLaurin on the Redskins.
That's right. Scary Terry.
I call this guy Terry McLovin because he's skinny. He looks like he's 12, but he's cool as hell even though the rest of that cast is super bad.
Terry Hatcher. Andrew Perloff.
Alright, my fantasy fuckball. What's up, guys? It's Tony Tagliatelle.
Tagliatelle, Tony. My stardom is Baker Mayfield.
Baker Mayfield has never lost a game after his teammate tried to kill another guy for saying a bad word. A lot of guys haven't started a game after that, though.
I'm just looking at my advanced stats right now. What do you call him, a cracker? My sit-em is also burners.
You just stack. You fucked.
My sit-em is also burners. Remember Bunsen burners? Mm, yeah.
Okay. class.
Let's cook in the van. My sleepers, the Clippers.
I think the Clippers might be good this year. So I'm going to give them out as one of my sleepers for maybe a championship.
Who cares? Yeah. That's all.
So remember who told you first. Sleeping on the Clippers.
Yeah. Better wake up.
Hank, did you watch that whole game? Yeah. Really? I did.
Did you want to do Soggy Sorrows? No, I mean the refs, it was clearly rigged. The refs were, it was one of the craziest.
I thought I was watching the NFL. There was a clear foul.
Brad Stevens, great coaches challenge, and they just didn't overrule it for whatever reason. But it was a great game.
It was honestly, it was honestly like, it was like I was watching it in bed, slightly starting to fall asleep. And then it got so exciting that by the end of it, I was up until like 3 in the morning.
Are you concerned at all that Ben Simmons is now the best three-point shooter in the NBA? No. That's not an issue for you at all.
By the way, shout out to him. I actually think that he did it too early.
You think he should have held on? In his career, yeah. Because it was such a big moment, he should have waited until like year 10.
Well, it's like your virginity. You get it out of the way.
It's over quickly. Then you do it a million more times.
It's not a big deal anymore. It was shocking that he did that.
And everyone's like, wait. Wait, was that the first time he took a three? No, he hit one last year, too.
No, he's taken some, like, half-court heaves, too. That's right.
But, like, as a pure three, I don't think he took a pure three last year at all. Now you've got to respect him, right? Yeah.
I think the over-under on the season is like 12. Oh, my God.
I wish I had bet that. Fuck.
That would have been a great one to the kid. That's an incredible bet.
You could probably still find it. Yeah.
Bet MGM, if you're listening to this, please make that prop for us. We're going to bet that on Monday night.
Give us an updated one that we can track. No, just make it 12 still.
Yeah. No, no.
No, make it lower. I think it started a little lower.
It was between 10 and 13. Okay.
He's going to get hot. All right.
Let's do Kyle Busch, and then we will go to Shorts Guy, which is an unbelievable story of a Winnipeg Blue Bomber fan who said that he was not going to take off his shorts or not wear pants until the Blue Bombers won the Grey Cup. And he said that on the eve of the Grey Cup in 2001.
I think we talked about it on Wednesday's show, but his name's Chris Matthew, and he is the most Canadian football fan. Unbelievable.
He's awesome. I think I told him I loved him.
Yeah. And then I didn't realize that I said until after the interview.
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Okay, here he is, NASCAR Cup champion Kyle Busch. Presented by Cash App.
Yep. How much do they pay? That's a good question.
A lot. To us, $75,000 per episode.
Well, let's just go. Let's hop right into it.
Is that right? Yeah. Let's hop right into it because you.
Are you telling the truth or are you lying? No. Well, I actually don't know how much they pay.
For episode. Do you have one episode a day? Okay.
Two episodes a day? Three times a week. Well, what happened was.
Three times a week. week.
Well, what happened was we have Kyle Busch on. He is the reigning NASCAR champion.
He just won the championship. What happened was there was an article that came out one day, and it was like part of my take grosses $15 million a year or something, and then someone literally divided the amount of episodes we did and divided by three and came to the conclusion that we get paid $75,000 per episode.
So we walk out of here and get a big check. Right.
And we've kind of – we probably helped keep that going. Nah.
But you are a sponsorship guy. That's right.
You noticed it right when you came in. You're like, Cash App.
Yeah. Who's your favorite sponsor? M&M's.
Do you have to say that because they pay the most? Yes. All right.
Let me phrase it a little differently. when you came in, you're like, Cash App.
Who's your favorite sponsor? M&M's. Do you have to say that because they pay the most? Yes.
Let me phrase it a little differently. When you were looking for new sponsors, did Monster approach you and you're like, Hey, your name's Kyle.
That's synonymous with our brand. Let's sign you up.
No, actually, I wrote him a letter. You're like, Hey, I'm Kyle.
Come on, let's do it. Yeah, I wrote a letter to Monster Energy.
I was with NOS Energy, and they were getting bought out by Coke and kind of going through a transition and didn't quite have the money that we needed to go race Xfinity and all that sort of stuff, so I went to Monster, who was in the truck series with Ricky Carmichael, and they were pulling out a NASCAR at the time, and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second, guys. I got a full a full-time Xfinity gig here.
It's going to be fun. Like, we're going to go win races.
Like, we're going to take the world by storm, kick their ass, whatever. And they're like, oh, okay, yeah.
All right, we like that. Sure.
Okay. And they paid the money that we needed to be able to go do that.
And so I've been with them since. I like that switch.
It's like Hulk Hogan going from WWE or WWF over WCW. Yeah.'s like making making the bro switch to the other type of energy drink and i actually i prefer monster but i always i have like a moral conundrum when i drink a monster maybe you can help me out with that sure because i saw that video of the lady describing how monster energy was satanic okay because you turn it upside down and then it looks like a pitchfork oh yeah and then she said and then right here on the back side that's the mark of the beast can you confirm that monster energy is not run by a satanist cabal no it is not okay here we go i i know the guys that run the deal they're just south african guys that uh cloven feet yeah i haven't seen their feet no okay they're just a monster.
They live and breed the beast. I like it.
I like it. All right.
So you've been doing a bunch of media today. Yeah.
You're probably exhausted. How much do you hate wearing a suit? It's not bad.
I mean, I kind of like dressing up sometimes, but yeah, I mean, you guys are totally way more casual, so... Yeah.
Do you feel like you overdressed for this interview? Well, yes, because i was supposed to change before i came here but uh my stuff is back at the hotel and we didn't stop by there would you have changed into your suit i would no i have uh no like i had uh i had jeans and a sweatshirt on yesterday so i could have wore that yeah yeah so you kind of stick out like it's like a little too that's all right trying to impress us not no no no okay what was your what's the your favorite interview that you've done this week this week favorite interview can you just give us a list of who you've spoken with like the name what was the best question they asked yeah that's the important part and then we'll ask it again did you go and get up who's that mike greenberg espn no no oh wow they don't respect nascar we're nascar house We're NASCAR house. ESPN, they've kind of cut us off here lately.
Damn. But yeah, it is what it is.
I'm friends with Matthew Berry, though. He's pretty cool.
Oh, do you play fantasy football? Yeah, yeah. Who do you have on your team? I got which team you want to talk about.
Give them all. The one that's winning? Yeah.
Who's the starting quarterback? Hold on. I don't remember.
Okay. Are you doing well this year? Yeah.
The best team I have is... Give us that team so we can flex on people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
Yeah, never give your bad team. Yeah, no.
We don't want to talk about bad teams. Okay, here we go.
Okay. I won this past week, 151 to 121.
Hell yes. Yeah, who started for you? Come on.
Your guys' cell service in here sucks. Okay.
I had Tom Brady. Oh, that probably didn't get you that many points.
It didn't. No, I remember that now.
I have Tom Brady. I have Chris Goodwin.
Oh. Yeah, he had a big game.
Nice. John Brown.
Uh-huh. Nice.
Had a big game. Josh Allen threw him a couple tutters.
Yeah. I have Stephon Diggs.
Okay. That's a big one.
He had a touchdown. You PPR or no? Half PPR.
Okay. Yeah, that's a good call.
And then Christian McCaffrey. Uh-huh.
Dude, who else is in your league? Right? You fleeced them. It's a 10-person league.
It's a 10-person league, and the other guys are on your crew, and so they have to let you No, this is actually a boy-girl league. So it's me and my my wife and then against the others husbands and wives as well too got it oh some some of the girls not all

the girls know how to pick good teams my wife picks women based off of pictures right uh-huh

and that's why you got christian mcafree i was good dude well here's cool we got the monster

here's what's cool is i was number one draft oh okay nice nice so christian was number one so

you took him number one yeah yeah that's probably. Nice.
Nice. So Christian was number one.

So you took him number one on the board.

Yeah.

That's probably smart because some people were saying maybe Saquon,

but he had a quad earlier this week.

And your wife, she knows football.

She went to Purdue.

She knows a little bit about football.

She knows that – damn it, why am I spacing his name right now?

New Orleans quarterback. Drew Brees.
Thank you. Drew Brees.
Dude, that's so stupid. I even follow him on Twitter.
Anyways, she went to Purdue. He went to Purdue, right? So she's a Boilermaker.
What's harder? That's the only thing she knows about Purdue is, like, he's the only thing that's come out of Purdue. Neil Armstrong.
Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. You just said Kyle Orton.
Yeah, Kyle Orton went to Purdue. We know that.
Yeah.

But then.

What?

Nothing happened.

No.

What do you mean?

He had a long, extended career.

He went to the Super Bowl game one time.

Between you and.

Wait, are you saying nothing happened between Kyle Orton and your wife?

He's saying Kyle Orton's a bum.

Oh.

Your wife and Kyle Orton went to school together?

No.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, keep trying.

He's disrespecting Kyle Orton.

But you are disrespecting Kyle Orton.

Don't disrespect Kyle Orton. That's almost worse.
Oh, I love Kyle Orton. Kyle Orton, you can say what you want about him, but he made a lot of money being a backup coordinator.
All right, let's finish this list. Okay.
Melvin Gordon. I forgot, sorry.
Oh, that's nice. Hunter Henry.
You have a sick team. You were real glad when Melvin came back.
Have you lost? You were probably a little bit nervous about that. Actually, yes, I've lost a couple.
Okay. What's funny about the Melvin thing is somebody drafted him.
Yeah. And then, like, week four, they didn't think he was going to come back.
Yeah. And so they dumped him.
Oh, so you picked him up off the waiver wire. So then I picked him up off of waivers.
That dumbass put him on the waiver. Yep.
Because I drafted Eckler in, like, the eighth round. So you got both of them.
I had both of them. You handcuffed them.
Yes, I did. Domination.
That's a good move.

And then I got Shark from

Jacksonville. I got

Lutz, kicker. That's a good kicker.

And I got Carolina and San

Francisco defense. Oh, that's nice.
Swap them out.

Yeah, go back and forth. Alright, so

you, what's harder, winning a fantasy

league or winning the cup championship?

Winning the boy-girl fantasy

league is not that hard. Yeah.
I've won it the last two years in a row, and now you can see why, right? Yeah. I got a real question for you.
You won this year. I saw the comments after because in 2015 you also won, but people are saying there's an asterisk.
A little bit, yeah. And now you actually can dunk on them because you're like, I got the asterisk one and the real one.
I got the asterisk one and the real one. Yeah.
Do you think the asterisk is fair? Uh, no, because so what happened was in 2015, I got hurt. I had an injury.
I broke my leg, broke my right foot. So I was out for 11 weeks to start the season.
And when I came back, we had a little bit of a rough patch kind of coming back, but then I won and my fifth race back and then I won three more races. So four total.
And then that got us into 30 in points which is what you needed to do you had to have a win and then we went through the playoffs and we won the last race at Homestead won the championship and everybody was like well he's only a part-time champion because he didn't race all the races nobody ever in NASCAR has not run all the races and not won the championship. It's never happened.

Oh, wow.

So I'm a first for a lot of things.

Like, there weren't 16-year-olds racing back in the day either that got kicked out because then they didn't want 16-year-olds to race anymore.

That happened to you?

That happened to me.

Now, did you have an advantage?

That's for sick.

Because you were so young, so you were light, so the car actually went faster?

No, because they weigh the cars with the driver's weight.

They weigh you, so you can't keep the system.

So you got kicked out at 16?

I did.

And then when did you get?

18.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

So you're like the Doogie Howser of NASCAR.

Yeah, I'm like, yes, pretty much.

Yeah, that might have dated myself.

Yeah, but you kind of did.

At least I knew who that was, though.

You did.

Yeah, yeah, there we go.

How are you able to compete at a professional level at the age of 16?

That would be like somebody on their 21st birthday that claims that they've never had an alcohol before, like drinking Mick Jagger under the table. I don't understand.
Freddie do. Yeah.
So how did you get that much practice in a driving when you weren't allowed to drive until this year? And what's weird about that is like a lot of kids or people that race in our sport, they start when they're seven or eight years old and they've been racing since then i had a late start i only started at 13. huh so i had been racing at 13 raced in legends cars won a lot raced in modifieds won raced in late models i won got to the truck series at 16 and then that's when they were kind of like okay 16 is probably a little too young for guys with not this much experience because they probably went back and looked at my history and was like this kid's only been racing for three years we don't need him out here going 200 miles an hour right let's change it to 18 he needs a couple more years so it's the kyle bush rule there you go that's pretty cool yeah now was it uh was it even a question that you and your brother kurt were going to be racers because like your names i mean your name's kyle bush yeah you were a race car driver when you were born.
No, that's predetermined. Damn it.
I mean, it is, right? Kyle Busch. That's Ricky Bobby.
Ricky Bobby is a racer's name. Kyle Busch is like no other profession.
Ricky Bobby, that name was inspired by the essence of your name. Is that right? I wish.
Now, Now, Brexton Bush is for sure a race car driver's name. But Kyle Bush is the most race car driver name.
I mean, could you imagine like, hey, this is my friend Kyle Bush. He's an architect.
Yeah. Bobby Bush.
You know that's ridiculous. Bobby Bush is driving a car.
Didn't they call you Shrub? Shrub's one of my nicknames. Because you were the little? Because I was the little Bush.
You should have been landing Shrub. Right.
Yeah. I could have been that.
Your nicknames are Shrub, Wild Thing, the Candyman. Something, yeah.
That's bad because that makes me think of Michael O'Candy, who was a big-time boss in the NBA. Okay.
And then there's Rowdy. Yeah, that's a good one.
That's a pretty good one. Rowdy Piper, yeah.
What's your favorite candy? M&M's is my favorite. No, I'm just kidding.
No, so my favorite, the Tropical Skittles. Oh, that's a little...
I was going to say M&M's. Yeah, yeah.
I do like M&M's. Peanut M&M's.
I love peanut M&M's. My favorite, though, are crispy.
Peanut butter M&M's. If you ask what's your favorite M&M, it's crispy M&M's.
That's the blue? Green. Green.
Yeah. Blue is pretzel.
Yep. And then the blurple one is caramel.
When they first made the green M&M and made it like an attractive M&M. Made it the chick.
Were you uncomfortable by that? Because it made me uncomfortable being like theoretically attracted to a piece of candy. Mm-hmm.
When they sexualized the M&M. No, so I actually kind of resemble a little bit of the character Red.

So he's kind of like a little bit rough.

He's a little bit rowdy maybe kind of, but a little jerkish sometimes.

But then he's soft and sweet on the inside.

Wait, are you jerkish?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People say you're a jerk?

Oh, for sure.

Are you the most hated guy on the tour? That's arguable.able okay I'll give you another name yeah Joey Logano right we hate him okay we have a huge rivalry with him he's blocks me on Twitter oh we should have actually started the show with this we are Denny Hamlin guys through and through why uh because we've had him on a couple times he's fucking awesome oh you don't like Denny Denny's my team interview's over okay Okay. All right.
Interview's over. Denny's the man.
Has he dunked on you yet? Denny can't dunk. Yeah, he can.
No, he cannot. Yeah, he's friends with Michael Jordan.
There is no way. Exactly.
Yes. No, Denny has not dunked on me.
We did play, what's that, basketball shoot-it game? The balls roll down the thing and you shoot a shot. Pop a shot.
Yeah, we played that. He kicked my kicked my ass.
Of course he did. He's Denny Hamlin.
He's friends with Michael Jordan. Just wearing the Jumpman logo gives you 10 extra points.
He called Michael Jordan when we had him on last. It was awesome.
He picked up. Joey Slugano.
You want to call Lugano? He blocks me on Twitter. What's his problem? I don't know.
Maybe you said something he didn't like. Slow.
Slow is Logano. No, you don't like him.
I don't like a lot of people on Twitter. That's probably my worst thing is ever turning on Twitter.
Okay. Well, we'll have your back now.
We were actually at the race when you guys fought. Oh, Vegas? It was early.
You didn't stay for the end. You're supposed to stay for the end.
Yeah. Yeah, I can't remember.
That's the most exciting part, it turns out. We forgot.
But that visual. There wasn't enough beer.
That was a problem. Yeah.
You got to go to the snack shan. Can we get that visual of you off the internet? The cut? Which one? On your face? You want to? Go.
That's a tough one. That's a tough one.
Try to scratch it. No, I'm just saying that was a bad.
We get that. What did he do? Did he scratch you? That was the guy who was following me.
He was right there with me. He scratched you? Yeah, he was like and i'm like i don't fucking care it's badass right now no it wasn't yeah it's like that if you're bleeding out of your nose your mouth you was literally in the middle of your forehead yeah like you got in a fight with a cat well i got tackled from behind and pulled down to the ground and i hit my head on the car uh-huh shit and scratched my head slogano he would be a scratch what yeah what what's the deal withano? I know why I hate him, and that's just because I've been told to hate him, and it's fun.
But why does everyone else hate him? Because he wants to be like this really, really cool, everything's always funny, laugh it up, have a good time kind of guy off the track. But then he puts his helmet on, and he's a complete dick.
Okay. Where's your just a dick all the time? I'm just a dick all the time.
I like that. Yeah.
You know how I roll. what you see is what you get if i don't like you i'm not going to talk to you i like that yeah so are there guys on the circuit where you just don't talk to him yes and is he one of them yes nice good yeah and what about denny you're friends with denny yeah we're good yeah all right we're good don't ever cross you like i feel like good is as close as you get to being friends with a competitor Who's your best friend on the tour? Probably Eric Jones Because he's not good enough to compete against you He actually beat me in a race Did you let him? No, I didn't let him It was the Southern 500 this year And he was leading I actually led much of it But then he passed us on a pit cycle and I was chasing him back down and I got close to him,

but I couldn't quite get him and then I got on the wall

and then the race was over.

Do you ever zone out?

I do, yeah.

While you're driving?

Uh-huh.

Shit.

I actually go faster.

Really?

Yeah, sometimes when I don't pay attention, I'm better.

Because I would imagine that's five hours.

Because it's just pure talent.

No, it's just pure talent.

Oh, I like that.

Yeah, that's what I have.

So even when I'm not paying attention, I'm still going fast. So when you're not thinking about it, you get out of your own way a little bit.
Sometimes. Okay.
That's right. Has there ever been a time where you zone out and you almost get into a crash? You're like, shit, I should probably focus on the road? Yep.
Yeah. That's happened to you.
Does that snap you back real fast? Yeah. I imagine being around.
When the car slips, you get off into the corner and it gets loose or slips out from under you. You're like, oh, don't do that.
You can sweat. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Yeah. You can say whatever.
Yeah, no, I was just like, ah, fuck. Have you ever fallen asleep during a race? Almost.
Well. I did have to have an energy drink during the race because I was so tired of just running in a line because we were all single file.
That's when you were drinking NOS and you had to make the switch to Monsters that actually keep you awake. Right.
Yeah. yeah, there's something later for that.
Well, I don't know if you know this PFT, but Kyle Busch is a notorious napper. Really? He naps everywhere.
I did not know that. You can fall asleep anywhere.
There's pictures all over the place of you napping. That's right.
You are cocky. I like this.
I'll fall asleep anywhere. That's right.
I'll fall asleep right in your fucking face. I'll fall asleep after that monster.
So wait, you can just fall asleep just on command? No. What's up? It was a late night and an early morning, and there was a bit of alcohol involved.
Got it. So anywhere that I was doing my five or ten minutes of downtime, I was closing my eyes, laying on the sideline, whatever it was.
So this was just one day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the nap legend started? Right.
Okay. Yeah.
But no, I did fall asleep like twice in those situations. There was another guy doing an interview, and we stacked up behind him, and he still had like five more minutes to go.
And so I just laid on the floor, and I zonked out for a second. Okay.
Save that energy. Now, when we were talking to Denny,

I think the first time he was saying that NASCAR might have an Adderall issue going on.

Is there any truth to that?

I don't know anything about it.

Good answer.

You're a bit better than Denny.

There's so many rumors in our business.

It's so stupid.

I can't even keep track.

What's the most common misconception about NASCAR in one of those rumors,

if you were to say one out loud so that we could get some clicks off this? I don't even know. Just like silly season, like drivers going to other teams or drivers getting fired.
Like I've been fired three times and I'm still at my same job. Oh, you mean like people have said that you've been fired? Yeah, people are like, oh, he's getting let go.
You don't let Kyle Busch go. Yeah, exactly.
Right. Come on.
Or my sponsors are leaving or whatever. Come on.
What's Joe Gibbs like to work around? He's cool. Joe's really cool.
Yeah, he's a lot of fun. He wouldn't be your guys' cup of tea probably.
I don't know. I don't know.
I know he doesn't cuss. Yeah.
No, about the most you get out of him is like Shiznizzle or something. Shiznizzle, yeah.
He's a big Snoop Dogg guy. Yeah, yeah.
I like that. I want to bring him back.
He said ass like once in a meeting. Oh, really? Yeah, he got mad.
Wanted himself for saying ass? No, no, no, no. He was mad.
This was back in like 2010 when we were blowing up a lot of motors and stuff like that. So he got pretty mad at the engine builder and chucked his pencil across the room and said something about his ass.
Yeah, like I'll have your ass? Yeah, basically. That is as bad as it gets for Joe Gibbs.
Yeah, it is. But no, he's – all right, sorry I laid out a bad Joe story.
So the good Joe story is he's an amazing coach, and he's worked with a lot of great players in the NFL and a lot of great personalities over there. He's won three Super Bowls, and now he's over here in NASCAR, and he's had to work with me, which has been fun.
We both respect one another a tremendous amount, and I think that's why we get along so well, and we have each other's back. And then now he's gotten me to two championships, and that's his fifth.

Is that right?

Holy shit.

Two with Tony, two with me, and one with Bobby?

Yeah.

So knowing that he won three Super Bowls with three different quarterbacks,

three different running backs,

and he's won five NASCAR titles with three different drivers,

do you feel like you're a system driver?

Am I a system driver? Yeah.

Plug him in.

Like Joe's the guy with the secret sauce. Yeah.
I could drive championship show. I don't know.
No. I don't think you guys.
Fast on your own? Yeah. What's your favorite track? Bristol.
That's the one in Tennessee. Bristol, Tennessee.
BMS. Because that's the short track.
Yeah, it's a half mile. High bank.
Why don't they do more road courses? Road courses are okay. It just kind of depends on where we are.
Like if you go to a street course or something like that, which the Roval is almost kind of like a street course because it's so slow, the corners are so tight, and the track is so narrow, that when you go through the infield section of it, it's pretty slow, and there's just not a lot of grip. Like our cars, they don't have a lot of downforce.
Like we have more downforce than we used to have, but still like sports cars and stuff like that, they have tons of downforce, right? So you can really haul butt around the course and those cars are light and nimble and fun to drive. Our cars are fucking boats, man.
They're like tanks. Right.
You know, they don't change directions very quick and they don't accelerate and stop very good. So it's just, I guess looking at your perspective, that's probably a good thing about our cars on road courses because we just run into each other a lot yeah so i just always see road courses i'm like that's kind of cool yeah it's fun now don't get me wrong i think we need to have the amount that we have it just depends on which ones they are how many are there how many races are there 38 total 36 points races wow yeah a lot so what are the other two just for fun just for fun pre-season Yeah, there's one in the preseason that's kind of like a warm-up, like, hey, everybody, NASCAR's back.
Make sure you tune in for the Daytona 500 next week. And then there's the All-Star race in May that all the winners, the people that have won races from the year before and that year that you're in, get to race each other.
I love that there's an All-Star game. There's an all-star game.
But do they let people vote as well to make sure that some fan favorites get into? Yes, they do. Are you a fan favorite? Yes.
No. I like that, though, about you.
In your fantasy football league, the people that you play against, they would say that you're a fan favorite, but everybody outside of there. Yeah, like my circle, people like me in my circle, which is why they're in my circle.
Yeah. People outside of my circle, they can F you.
Are we in it? No? He's not sure yet. We're in Denny's circle.
For like the next five minutes. Okay.
Damn. You're like Shooter McGavin.
I like the cockiness. I feel so bad.
He was successful. He was, yeah, but no.
I like the main characters of movies, so I'm Adam Sandler in that one. Okay, okay.

Yeah, I'm happy.

You go ahead, you determine your star in the movie.

I'm happy Gilmore, yeah, exactly. I love to compare eras in any sport, so if you were to take Richard Petty and put him in your car, how does he do? That is so hard to do, man.
I don't know. I would like to think that he would do good because he's the biggest name of our sport

and obviously kicked everybody's butt back in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. But once he got into the 90s, he won his last race in 84, right? 84, he won his last race, and then he raced until 1992.
He didn't win a race from 84 to 92, and then he retired. So how old was he, though? He was in his 40s, upper 40s, 50s when he got out.
So I think he just passed his prime and just kept digging for whatever. But he probably should have retired a few years earlier than he did.
How many years do you have left? Probably 10. How old are you? 34.
Wait, when's your birthday?

May.

1985?

Yeah.

Nice.

You're almost birthday week.

Oh, right on.

When's your birthday?

January 31st.

I'm a little older than him.

Yeah, you can probably tell I'm way more handsome in my face.

Fewer lines in my forehead.

1985, shout out.

Great year.

Shout out.

Just legends.

85 bears.

Yeah, legends everywhere.

That's right.

Right.

You had Daryl Waltrip who won the NASCAR championship that year.

Who could forget?

I was going to say.

Who won the MLB?

That would be...

Don't look it up.

I'm not looking it up.

The Royals.

Hell if I know.

I'm asking.

Yeah, I don't know.

Nobody knows.

I think it might have been the Cardinals versus the Royals.

I don't know.

All right, I got one last question.

Seeky question, promo code take.

You like that?

Another sponsor.

There you go.

Promo code take, $10 off. Go to a NASCAR event.
$10 off. What is the worst crash you've been in? 2015 Xfinity Series race at Daytona right before the start of the NASCAR season where I broke my right leg, double compound fracture in my right leg, and then Louis Frank break of my left foot, just a mid-foot break of my left foot.
And when you were in the crash we're like do you have a moment when you crash you're like oh fuck this is bad yeah as um as i was spinning towards the infield there was an infield wall that was just concrete didn't have any protective barrier on it like we have around the outside but now tracks have fixed the inside because of me um that's another cow bush rule yeah yeah oh no no there's way more dude we can go on forever okay um but the uh yeah so anyways when as as my car was spinning towards that inside wall normally when you spin the side force of the car it's like it'll start to change direction and it's like a rudder like it'll it'll turn it never did like it just kept sliding and sliding and sliding and i was going kind of forward too and so i hit this wall head on. It was at 90 miles an hour.
It was turn. It never did.
Like, it just kept sliding and sliding and sliding, and I was going kind of forward, too. And so I hit this wall head on.
It was at 90 miles an hour. It was 90 Gs.
It's 90 times the force of gravity? Right. I just wanted to flex it.
I knew what that meant. Yeah, that's impressive for that long hair.
So, like, the front of the car just compressed and squished

and came back towards me.

The motor, it hit my foot, and the brake pedal broke my foot.

And so, yeah, I was oh-shitting myself in that moment.

And when I hit, and then the car bounced off the wall

and then finally came to a stop,

like there was a little fire out of the cowl, you know,

just where the gas spilled over and whatever. And so I was like, oh, shit'm on fire now i gotta get out of this thing and i could feel my leg like as soon as it happened like i felt the the instant just snap but there was no pain you're just in shock adrenaline yeah and so like i'd lift my leg a little bit and like my foot falls and it's not in the same plane anymore and i'm like oh shit damn How the hell am I going to get out of this thing? So I just grab with your hands and pull yourself out.
Didn't someone come and pull you out? No, I got all the way to the door. Like, I sat out and was sitting on the door when the rescue workers came around.
And then I told them, I was like, dude, I broke my leg and I broke my foot. You got to lift me out of here.
Shit. That's crazy.
And I was about 200 pounds back then, so they had to lift my fat ass out uh 180 nice which which what have you been doing working out man what do you bench i don't i don't bench okay you don't well i could tell that about you exactly yeah the royals was the correct answer by the way nice nice okay good job that was what was nba nba let's do nba let's let's do nba what was lakers I want to say Lakers, 85? That feels like a Lakers. I don't know.
It was either the Lakers or the Celtics. The 90s were the Bulls, right? 1985, Lakers.
I think it was probably the Lakers. How do you know when it's time for you to hang it up as an NASCAR driver? What starts to go? Yes, they were the Lakers.
It was the Lakers? Gotcha, cool. I don't know what's going to tell me to hang it up.
I think if the drive, if the fire isn't there anymore, if you don't wake up in the morning just breathing, smelling, everything, racing, then I think that's kind of about your cue. And I think the adrenaline rush, too.
Getting in the car, racing, being able to go around there and fighting these things for four hours at a time, if that gets stale and boring and you're slow then

i think it's time to go yeah but you it sounds like you are nowhere near that you're at the peak yeah yeah i would like to think i got a few more years left in me and definitely a few more championships yeah how many let's do a guarantee how many more i could take a shit in a box and labeled it guaranteed but all you got to guarantee piece of shit.

That's a good saying.

So four, four, four more.

That would be sweet, yeah. Four more would be good.
Six-time champion. Yeah, six times and 100 wins.
You got to get rings. Yeah.
You guys should get rings. We do get rings.
Oh, you get rings? Yeah. You should wear them.
I have one at home. I didn't wear it.
I thought about bringing it, but I didn't bring it. Who makes it, Joe? Jostens.
No, does Joe pay for it? No, NASCAR does. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. NASCAR pays for that.
Okay. They've got to pay for something.
The trophy's awesome, by the way. It is.
That thing is so cool. It could fit, I don't know, like a keg? I haven't seen it.
He put his whole son in it. Yeah.
It's a giant cup? Yeah, it's a huge trophy. Enormous cup.
It's got a base and comes up kind of skinny, and then it's got the cup at the top with all the racetracks kind of engraved in it all the way around. But it's like an enormous cup.
Is that yours for life, or do you have to give it back? Look up NASCAR Cup trophy. I'm on it right now.
It's a big one. What did you say? Do we get to keep it? Yeah, you get to keep it.
Look at that thing. Yeah, it's like three, three and a half feet tall.
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's really, really cool.
So I have the old trophy.

You can fit seven or eight Mad Dogs in there.

The Sprint Cup trophy was like two checker flags that kind of came off of it.

So I have the last one of those, and then I have the last one of the Monster.

That was 2015?

That was the Asterix one?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, thank you.

And then I have the last one of this one, the Monster Energy one.

I can tell it bothers you.

I read the quote where you kind of had some fun with it after you won this one. Yeah.
All I can say is F those effers. Yes.
F those effers. Put that on a fucking shirt.
I will. F those effers.
Do you want to try to call Joey real quick? Yeah. I can try.
Let's try to call Joey. No way he'd pick up.
He probably won't with me, but. Yeah, he'd be like, why the hell are you calling me? Yeah, he'd be like, why the fuck does Kyle call him? He's going to send me to voicem are you gonna say to him? Do you know what you're gonna say to him? Why did you block me? I'll say...
No, no. Can you unblock me? Does he know who you are? I mean, he blocked me.
Maybe you were a D-I-C-K to him. Oh, I mean, I did call him, like, a bitch.
I think we'll just... See, that's not nice.
Yeah, no, I know, but I'm... So you're gonna try to bury the hatchet.
I'm gonna rip my guy. You wanna bury the hatchet? Yeah, we'll bury the hatchet.
Unblock me. You wanna...
Alright. So you're not gonna talk smack about it? No, I'm not gonna talk smack.
I'm going to ask him if we can bury the hatchet. I'm going to rip my guy.
You want to bury the hatchet? Yeah, I'll bury the hatchet. Block me.
You want to? All right. So you're not going to talk smack about it? No, I'm not going to talk smack.
I'm going to ask him if we can bury the hatchet, although I am a Denny guy. I'm a Denny guy.
All right. Hello? Joey.
Yo. Hey, man.
What's up? Not much. Congratulations.

Well, I do appreciate that.

Thank you very much, sir.

Would you mind trading me years in which we won?

Trading you years in which we won?

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Well, I like number 18 a lot better than I like 19.

I don't care as long as I got one.

I don't really care. Okay.
Maybe we'll trade trophies. I'll be a blue streak as a champion.
I'll take that. All right.
There you go. Hey, so I'm here with some friends of Denny, and they kind of wanted to talk to you for a second.
Do you mind? Sure. Hey, Joey, it's Big Cat from Barstool.
You blocked me on Twitter. I wanted to bury the hatchet.
I'm a Denny guy through and through. I probably said some things, but I wanted to apologize, be the bigger man, and say let's bury that hatchet and let bygones be bygones.
Sure. I mean, you're going to start running your big mouth, right? No, you do know.
You noticed it, didn't you? What was that? You noticed me chirping you. I probably went over the line.
Well, you weren't the only one.

Yeah, well.

We all have our haters, right?

Yeah, we rep.

Listen, we can change the narrative.

We won't.

Here's what we'll do is I will not say.

The only thing.

Can I keep saying Slogano?

Am I allowed to say that still?

I don't really like that one.

Okay, how about this?

How about this?

We won't say Slogano anymore.

Hold on, hold on. Say that again, Joey.

I feel like I've earned it right for you not to call me that.

He is fast.

We won't call you Slogano anymore,

but can we call you Slowey Logano?

I don't like that one either.

Alright.

Can you give them one that you do

like?

This name, Joey Logano, is pretty good. I kind of like that one.
Do you like sliced bread with avocado? Oh, no. We might have to walk away from the negotiation table here.
This might not work out. Former NASCAR champion Joey Logano.
All right, fine. You know what? Keep me blocked, and we'll be just Denny guys forever.
Okay? All right. That sounds like a good plan.
All right. Thanks, Joey.
Appreciate it, man. All right.
It seems like this relationship is really cute itself, right into the right areas. Well, we tried.
Hey, we tried. I think we all know where we stand, which is fine.
We're all friends. Hey, we live on this earth together.
We might as well be friends. Yeah.
Hey, if you're calling me all this, what are you calling Kyle Busch? Well, we didn't really know that Kyle Busch was a jerk, but he at least admits he's a jerk. So he's a jerk.
He's a jerk. I'm calling him Kyle Landing Strip.
Yeah. So you know how my nickname, one of them, was Shrub? Yeah.
Right? So here, what'd you say? I'm calling him Kyle Landing Strip now. Jeez.
Yeah. That's pretty good, right? Yeah, that's pretty good.
We're just guys talking bounds. That's all.
It's like the peach fuzz on his face. You ought to see it.
Yeah, it's pretty bad. Man, it's pretty bad.
All right. Well, Joey, thanks for at least trying.
We tried. Hey, we tried.
There's nothing we can do. We'll just walk away.
We'll shake hands over the phone, and we'll say, hey, we tried to make this work. It didn't work.
Hopefully, we'll see each other sometime. Yeah, it was a half-assed effort.
Yeah. Agreed.
All right. Agreed.
Sorry to bother you in your off season. I hope you have some time to get away and enjoy.
All right. Enjoy.
See you. Later.
I think what happened there is you and Joey have now buried the hatchet.

I'm surprised he picked up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think you guys are tighter than you realize.

You guys.

He's a nice guy away from the track.

It's just when you put your helmet on, don't be a complete dick.

Yeah.

Don't scratch me.

Right.

Right.

Like, if you want to scratch me, then we're going to be scrappy.

I must have said a lot of stuff because he definitely knew who I was.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, all right.

I'll own the block.

I don't care.

I'm a Denny guy.

I'm not going to apologize for repping my guy. You started off really well.
It was going good. I think you ruined it, though.
Well, here's the thing. When he takes Joey Slogano off the table, that's where I walk away.
There's some things I cannot give up in this life, and calling him Joey Slogano is one of those things. I'm looking at a lot of stuff in our history here.
I'm seeing some blowy Slogano. Oh, that's bad.
I'm seeing, he did some advertisement for watches last year. Yeah, he had his own personal brand of watches.
Oh, no, that was with CQO, I think. That he was selling, and I said, hey, babe, happy Valentine's Day.
I got his and hers Joey Logano watches, dash someone who's never getting laid ever again. That's pretty good, though.
Yeah, that's a pretty good burn. That's just humor.
And when you go after his sponsors, it's tough for him to just roll over and take it. You guys aren't right.
Hey, we tried. We tried.
Hey, Slowey, how's the weather back there? Are you finishing fifth and Denny finished fourth? Joey Logano. Yeah, that's not much of separation there, dude.
If you're not first, you're last. Hey, Joey, you're a baby.
Joey Logano won today puke. That's not mean.
That's not bad. Yeah.
You said that? Yeah, hey, Joey Logano, go fuck yourself. That's not bad.
No, that might get you blocked. That's just guys being dudes on the track.
Rubbing's racing, right? That? That's right. Hey, slow, slow, gano, at Joey Logano.
You look pretty slow out there. No wonder they call you slow, gano.
Bet you don't even have Michael Jordan's number, loser. He's slow.
What are you writing about me? I don't think. You haven't popped up on my radar yet.
Now that you're a champion. So is Logano.
Yeah, but that's why I was chirping him. Someone said, fuck Kyle Busch, and I liked that one.
That's about it so far that I can find. Listen.
So I'm off your radar. Unapologetically, Denny Hamlin, guys.
I don't know what else we can say. All right.
Yeah. But thank you very much for stopping by.
We appreciate it. Yeah, that was fun.
Send me a sponsorship proposal. Yes.
We'll get on the... All right.
We actually are on. We're in the business now.
Rowdy's Landing Strip. Okay.
And we'll get on the car. How much...
What's the cheat? What? Can we get on the car? I'm going to follow you right now. We can get on the car for like...
I don't know. Maybe like half a Bitcoin? Half a Bitcoin.
Yeah. They even have half Bitcoin? Yeah.
Why would you have half of it? Why do we have change in America anymore? Like pennies? Yes. Because you got to.
Why can't stuff just be $1, $2, $4? Vending machines. You know what I mean? Vending machines.
You have to have some to mark your ball when you're golfing. There's credit card vending machines now.
Flipping a coin. Listen, it's today's world.
We're not into the 1700s anymore. What about playing quarters? Those are ping pong balls that you throw into cups.
No, quarters. Beer pong, yeah.
But quarters is a different game. I don't play that game.
It's a great game. What about bloody knuckles? Yeah.
You never played bloody knuckles? Bloody foreheads, yeah. Scratched by a cat before.
What about saying keep the change, you filthy animal? That saying would die, wouldn't it? It would die. That's Home Alone.
Come on. kyle bush thank you so much appreciate you stopping by congrats again i appreciate you guys yeah i don't buy uh you probably not in new york very often so maybe next time by the phone yeah perfect i think this one could have been done by the phone obviously we called joey now i'm getting the jerk thing the jerk thing makes sense yeah get out of here Bye-bye.
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And now, Blue Bombers shorts guy, Chris Matthews. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on Winnipeg Blue Bombers superfan, better known as Shorts Guy. It is Chris Matthew calling us from Canada in preparation for the Grey Cup on Sunday.
Now, Chris, we are a podcast obviously based in the U.S. and a big NFL podcast.
Can you explain to us the genesis of Shorts Guy and why this game on Sunday is so important to you? Okay, I'll take you back to 2001. Winnipeg was playing in the Grey Cup, which is our Super Bowl, and we were playing what was supposed to be a farce inferior team.
We should have beat them no problem. So I'd been out with a couple of guys the night before, and the next day somebody said to me, well, how long are you going to be wearing shorts? It was a nice November.
I was still in them. I said, oh, until the Bombers win the Grey Cup.
The following Sunday they went out. They got beat by the lesser team, and I've been waiting for them now to win the great cup ever since oh my gosh okay so you are a committed shorts guy was this ever like a bet that was cemented through a handshake or was it just your word was out there and you're a man of your word uh the latter it's just my word there was no handshake there's no uh i don't have to give anybody anything they don't't have to pay me.
There's nothing. It's just, I said I would do it.
So I'm the one that should have been committed, I think. So you are, have been wearing shorts, rain, sun, winter, snow, zero degrees ever since.
So since 2001, you've been wearing shorts and I'd have to imagine, I'm not a meteorologist, Winnipeg is pretty cold, is it not? It is. In fact, Winnipeg has been known to have the coldest street corner of any major city in the world.
How many times have you been there? Not too often. Not since the last, or in the last 18 years.
What is the street corner street corner itself uh portage in maine why is it the cold is the wind that whips off oh yeah the wind just whistles through there it's it's uh it can be really brutal down there okay so you haven't been there you've had to steer clear of certain parts of town is there any specific event that you've attended like a wedding or something i have to assume that you've been invited to some formal occasions that you've shown up in your shorts? Yes, I have gone to a couple of things in shorts with a jacket and tie. But if it's really a formal, formal thing, I get around not wearing pants because I own a kilt.
Oh, that's smart. But I imagine that's probably not much warmer, is it? Oh, no.
It's probably even less warm. There's more space for the wind to blow up there.
Dang. All right, so the Blue Bombers.
Now, let's do two things here. One is, how many times have they been to the Grey Cup since the shorts bet? Twice.
And both times just fall flat on the face? They came away in second place. Okay okay and now were they close were there were any of those games close or they begin you know uh well one was was fairly close and i think we could have won it but uh in the game before the the uh the gray cup our starting quarterback uh broke his arm got it we had to play yeah we had to play the great cup with our backup okay.
It was still fairly close, but we didn't win that one. The other one, not so much.
You've been used to this moment where you're on the eve of the Grey Cup and possibly being able to go back to pants. Are you getting your hopes up at all? No more than any other time, although I think we have a better chance this year than we have had in the past uh we have a really quite a good team this year and uh in the last couple of games they've been playing very very well so they won two playoff games away from home which is tough to do up here nice uh so uh we'll see i mean i'm not going to be quite as uh firm in my prediction as I was back in 2001 because I might say something else real stupid.
Yeah. I'm going to keep you out of the bar.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, so now the other side of it, is the devastation of a loss that much more significant knowing, oh my gosh, I've got another winter full of shorts? No. No, the devastation would be more the fact that simply that they've lost.
Yeah. We've been waiting for them to...
It's not like we haven't won before. We have like 10 Grey Cups in our history, but it's been since 1990 that we won the Grey Cup.
So, wow. So, that would be the devastation, is if we go like 30 years without winning them do you have a pair of pants ready at the go that you're going to put on the instant that they win i do and uh most people would say put the shorts back on because i've dug out an old pair of uh zubaz pants oh of course of course.
The hammer pants, the parachute pants.

Yeah, they're pretty ugly.

Is there a tiny, tiny little bit of you buried deep down inside?

I'm not talking about rooting against the Blue Bombers, but a tiny part of you that

would be sad to go back to wearing pants.

Well, yes.

And in fact, I think, I mean, once this is all said and done and I can wear pants, I'm only going to wear them on certain occasions. I'm going to wear my shorts for the most part anyways.
I really found out over 18 years that I enjoy wearing them. I like them.
I love you. Shorts are great, too.
I'm wearing my shorts right now. I would wear shorts year-round.
I guess I don't have the courage that you do, but you're kind of a role model to me. Well, a trendsetter, I guess.
I don't know. It's incredible.
I mean, you're a football guy through and through, being a man of your word. Has there been, what was the coldest day or what was the coldest moment where you're like, this might be enough for me.
I might have to have to just throw on some pants because this is well i i guess it was uh i had one like that um uh if we have a couple of uh shopping centers here and i dropped something off at my car off at one and thought i'll just walk across to the other one and it's kind of like wide open lot. And I think it was probably about, with windchill, probably about minus 30.
And it was farther than I thought. And my shins were just screaming at me, and I thought, you know what? You are a complete, complete, total fool.
Why are you doing this? But then once i got in and warmed up a little bit i

was fine that's that's incredible do you have uh do you have pairs of shorts that are warmer than other pairs because i've been thinking about inventing uh a new product kind of like hot shorts shorts that you can wear in the winter time yeah no i don't most of them are just regular kind of shorts i was thinking of that as well i thought maybe like fur lined ones or something would be good, but no, they're all just kind of your basic...

I have like sports shorts like the basketball ones that I wear, and then I have cargo shorts, and then I have kind of like the dressy black. Yeah, your black tie affair shorts.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, in case you're invited to like a gala or a ball that's right yeah alright my last question I gotta ask give us your prediction and what you'll do if they lose come Sunday in the Grey Cup final let's see my prediction I'm gonna say that the Bombers are going to win by four points.
Okay, I like that. All right.
And if they win? If they win, I'll probably draw a sober breath on Wednesday. There we go.
Perfect. I love it.
I have one last question for you because you have been getting a lot of media attention, and you just said you got another interview on the back of this one. So has the team reached out to you in any capacity to say hey maybe we can get you on the sidelines or something like that because i think that you could be an x factor for them uh actually uh they have uh they this story came out first uh first time last year and so last year uh they brought me to uh one of their one of the games and toured the whole facility and everything but this year uh no but they do know that i exist uh there's some been some quotes uh the coaches mentioned it and a couple of the players um i don't expect them to never did uh and if when this is all said and done they'd like to do something well that would be fine but if they don But if they don't, that's fine, too.
Okay. There you go.
So are you going to be at the game? No, it's in Calgary. It's about a four-hour flight from here.
And I'm not going to sit outside in the cold in my shorts to wait until they win. Yeah.
Okay. That's smart.
That's smart. It's crazy that it took 18 years for the media to ever catch up to this story and be like, hey, this guy has been wearing shorts for so long.
That's so puzzling to me. I want your shorts retired after this.
I want them in front. They should raise them up in the stadium and hang them next to the banner.
Well, I'll see if I can get a pair bronzed for them. There we go.
That's beautiful. All right, well, good luck on Sunday.
We're rooting for you and appreciate

your time and go...

What do we say? Go Blue Bombers? Is there a saying?

Go Blue Bombers. Yeah, go Blue.

Alright, go Blue. No, I don't do that.
That's Michigan

here. Go Blue.
I'll say it.

Go Blue Bombers. Yeah, yeah.

Throw the Bombers in. Nobody wants Michigan to win.

Yeah, there you go. Get bombed.

I'm a Buckeye fan on this end.

Oh, wow. Alright, so you...
Wait.

That just changed everything. You have success all the

time. Well,

Thank you. There you go.
Get bombed. I'm a Buckeye fan on this end.
Oh, wow. All right, so you wait.
That just changed everything. You have success all the time.
Well, unfortunately, I didn't say until Ohio wins something or until the Buckeyes wins something. That would have been a smarter play.
That was a curveball at the end of the interview. I hear I was feeling bad that you haven't won a championship since 1990 and you're a Buckeyes fan.
Man, I don't like you anymore, Chris. Oh, sorry.
All right. Good luck on Sunday.
We appreciate your time. All right.
Thank you very much. All right.
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Brave. Yesterday was about big tech.
Today, well, today is about us. Okay, let's get to some segments.
Finish up our Fri-yay show. We'll start with some Fyre Fest.
Henry, you got this. You got it, Hank? You got this.
What do I have? The Fyre Fest. What's your Fyre Fest of the week, Hank? You got this, bro it Hank You got this What do I have? The Firefest What's your Firefest of the week You got this bro Is there one I'm missing that I'm No Why are you saying it that way? Because you suck at this We want to support you in your quest to become not shitty at Firefest Yeah Well Daniel Me and you after the show are driving to Rough and Rowdy in Providence Correct Immediately after the show I'm going to home for the weekend And I I needed to pack clothes.
Vacation. Yep, I'm taking a vacation.
Won't be here on Sunday. And I packed my suitcase for my vacation.
Wait, wait. I just realized something.
Yeah? The Cowboys are going to win. Because Hank's not going to be here.
Hank's not going to be here. That's the only reason.
That's turnover luck right there for you. The only reason the Cowboys are going to win is because Hank won't be here on Sunday.
You should factor that into your picks. Okay.
But I packed my suitcase, came to work, and then I realized that I left it at home, had to rush home. It was just an unnecessary disaster.
Fire fest. Fire fest.
Just running around, ruined my day. I hate this segment every week.
That's it? Yeah. That's it.
You know when you're on the train? I was on the train, and I was like, all right, I'm going home for the weekend. I was like, oh, wow.
That's bad. Yeah.
I should probably have my suitcase with me. Yep.
That's bad. Yeah, it was bad.
That sounds really bad. Rough and Rowdy tonight, though.
Tune in. Tune in.
Rough and Rowdy 10, Providence, Rhode Island. Big Cat's going to sing the Canadian National Anthem.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Don't know it. What is it? What is the Canadian National Anthem? Oh, Canada.
That's it. Come on.
That's it? That's all I know. I'm sorry.
Thoughtful. Fruitful.
Syrup. Home of men in shorts.
I'm hoping people just boo it so much that I don't have to actually sing it. That would be incredibly disrespectful, but also very respectful of your time.
Correct. Actually, it'd be the most respectful because they don't want you to screw it up in front of everybody.
So they're going to boo it. So if you were listening to this and you were going to be in Providence tonight for Rough and Rowdy, feel free to boo it.
And then I'm going to do the national anthem, the real one, after. Cheer that.
Okay. My Firefest of the week is I think we have birds nesting in our ceiling.
So in last Sunday's taping of part of my take, before we taped it. That makes me feel much better.
There was a lot of chirping going on directly above us. We were the only ones in the office.
There was nobody else here. We think it might be a vent issue.
But it sounds like birds are nesting up there. Well, I spoke to Pete, and he says it's not birds, but that's exactly what I'd expect him to say.
Yeah. To keep us away from knowing that there are birds above us.
That would be the ultimate if we had a family of pigeons living right above us. Also, anti-Firefest, this bench press, we've been talking about it for probably, I mean, we moved in May.
Nah. Finally showed up today.
The moment is there. After me dealing with this guy at Mobile, shout out to Mobile, they sent us a bench press, it's awesome.
Oh, nice. But after months and months of, well, first PFT was doing it, then I had to take it from PFT, and then it's just been a long, fire-fest process, and our long national nightmare is over.
PFT, the one that you ordered, do you think that's going to show up? I think that is the same one. Oh, okay.
It's the very same, yeah. Well, yeah, I got in contact contact with the guys like, yeah, I think we talked to PFT a while ago.
I'll put it this way. I was like, oh, well, yeah.
The bench press is being shipped more efficiently to us than a single recurring guest t-shirt is being shipped to our guests. The best was every few weeks PFT would be like, hey, Liam, did you send that design to the bench press people? And he'd be like, yeah, like two months ago.
And then it just went to the show. But it's here but it's literally here studio okay it'll be in the studio uh after thanksgiving okay all right uh my fire fest is i have some kind of uh side ailment that i don't really know what it is but i was in excruciating pain this morning so much so that hank caught me in the studio doing my uh four-legged gas trick i was trick i was coming in because i i got into work and it was like uh i got a note like someone texted me was like yo your bench press showed up like it's here so when i got into work i came into the studio to see if that's where they dropped it off i was on the door was shut but i knew that no one was around so i opened the door and big cat was just like an eiffel tower on the floor trying to do whatever stretch fuck i the fuck? I thought you were doing push-ups.
I was like, dude, you're getting a quick pump before the yak? So, it literally just, I just woke up and I had this sharp pain in my side and I thought maybe it was a kidney stone, a gallbladder. I did what everyone always does whenever they have a pain like this.
I went on the national radio show and they just had people call in and me what i had okay which is very late oh yes appendicitis yeah maybe that's actually one of the things gallbladder appendicitis uh just straight up death uh broken rib back injury i actually have self-diagnosis i just i went four days in a row eating chili what if you ate so much chili that you broke your your rib? Yeah, I think I have a bean lodged in my rib. Marilyn Manson surgery time.
The pain was bad, but the real pain was Hank walking in being like, what are you doing? And I was like, nothing. It's a bizarre thing that you think that doing toe touches will just make you fart.
Dude, it's just getting in the position of a dog and just kind of just laying down, like laying. If I had a hot rock, I would have iguanaed it and just laid on the hot rock.
Well, that sounds like a better plan anyway. Yeah, but I don't have a hot rock.
My dog, when he farts, I've noticed that he'll be asleep just on his side with all fours just spread out in front of him. So you're going to try that? Yeah, try that.
Leroy actually woke me up with a fart yesterday. He didn't wake up, but he woke me up with a nice long toot.
So I've got to lay on my side like Leroy. Okay, perfect.
Go for it. It would be great content if you had a kidney stone, though.
No, don't wish that on me. I'm just saying it content-wise.
I've read up on it, and it sounds terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible.
Big Fangio is coaching with one. He's doing a great job.
No, I don't want that. I don't want that.
Don't wish that evil on me. Imagine that kidney stone like hung up behind you though.
I'd put it on a necklace for sure. Oh yeah.
100%. Wear that shit every single day.
Maybe a pinky ring with my kidney stone. That's pretty cool.
That'd be nice. All right.
Let's do a couple of segments. Michael Wilbon name drop.
Probably the pinnacle Michael Wilbon name drop. He golfed with Obama once, but he said that Luka Doncic might be the best player in the NBA.
Or no, what was the exact quote? I think the quote they were talking about, he is the next Michael Jordan. Yes.
Yeah. And then Wilbon said, Michael's going to call me about this one.
Uh-huh. Might get a call.
He's like, oh, no, I'm going to get a call. The funny thing about this one is, and this is the perfect Michael Wilbon name drop, but I could actually see Michael Jordan calling Wilbon for even thinking that.
He's like, are you high? That would be the ultimate. That's the only reason I think Michael Jordan gets people's phone numbers is just in case, you know, so he can berate them for not respecting him enough down the line.
Right. Absolutely.
If Michael Jordan asked you for your phone number, it's because he thinks you're capable of sleeping on him at some point. Yeah.
At some point, you're going to say someone else might be better than him. He wants to be able to speed that.
He probably is a speed dial guy. When was the last time you think Michael Jordan just called somebody was like, hey, man, you want to chat? Probably never.
Denny Hamlin. That's it.
Yeah. Bookie.
Come on, Hank. No, that's not the chat.
It's business. Come on, Hank.
He'll call. So he's so competitive.
Yeah, but if you're trying to get like a rollover, like a credit. Yeah, Michael Jordan's trying to get a rollover.
Yeah. Well, it could be.
Yeah. His rollover is just take a year off, mysteriously.
I'm going to go play baseball. I don't like where this is going.
All right. Oh, Hank, you might have...
Michael's going to call us about this one. This live...
Wow. Hank actually might get this first half over in the Duke game.
That's 64, not 62. Oh, you idiot.
Okay. Never mind.
PFT, you have a... Read a headline.
Let's read a headline. Yeah, let's just us reading a headline.
From TMZ. Caught on video, a doctor spent 37 minutes sucking urine out of the man's bladder and spinning it into an empty wine bottle during an international flight.
That sentence just gets worse and worse and worse as it goes on. Do you know what's funny is that, so when I was diagnosing myself with gallbladder, Do you want me to suck piss out of you? Well, I threw this out there because that one, look, you're not going to have to suck a kidney stone out of me, but do it hypothetical if we were walking in the desert and a snake bit me in the penis would you save my life by sucking the venom out sideways what do you mean sideways like you just the shaft like no yeah like it's a harmonica yeah yeah yeah harmonica style you would uh not popsicle but you would yeah all right thank you yeah i would do that for you guys being right so if that ever happens shout out mike posner posner who got bit by a snake and that was the only reason people even cared that he walked across on his dick no on his foot oh but it's really sad because he was walking across the country for six months and no one cared until he almost died i got bit on my wiener um but yeah that's a hell of a headline i that doctor needs can you win doctor of the year yeah there's a doctor of the year it's found in any number of in-flight magazines true I think you just pay your way into next we should best steakhouse in Houston we should do that actually just like take pictures of ourselves in lab coats and just submit them to the doctor of the year I think you just have to pay him like five grand that'd be fine and we'll be Spirit Airlines doctors of the year actually we're giving triggs a lot of stuff to do but we should start putting up fake diplomas well we can remember we looked into that we can just buy a diploma no but if we just credited school in like belgrade oh no but i'm saying like we all went to harvard and yale and everything like just a wall just shame the fuck out of every guest diplomas and they walk in there say these guys are titans of the industry yeah it would lead to some very confused guests and it's literally just us having triggs make them for us i have a jd from trump university yep liberty yeah nice yeah pretty good right journalism school um okay uh wait you had a night knowing that we already did your redskins idea let's do faq Finish up with FAQs.
Hank, why don't you get us going?

This guy was suggesting, talking about your back problems.

He said, I think it can be scyatia.

Sciatica.

Sciatica.

Attica.

Shades of the old Objen.

No, there is an issue with the back.

That one, the Objen, that was OBGYN. This one, there's no way to know that.
But Hank, you have a back. Sciatica.
Yeah. Sciatica.
Sciatica. Uh-huh.
What does that mean? It's a disease? It's a nerve that goes down your spine, and it goes into your leg. And so if you have back problems, it can just straight up debilitate you.
What I actually do have, and this is a medical condition, it's called dad back. And I've just had to lift my son in very awkward positions.
And it's now getting to the point. He's like 15, 16 pounds.
And I've hurt myself just being like, oh, I just picked up my son. So that sucks.
So stop spending time with your son. Yeah.
And then your back pain will go away. It's hazardous to my health.
PFT, did John Kuhn bring too much awareness to the low man trophy by mentioning it in a tweet that went viral on Thursday?

I actually just got done texting John, you know, not to drop Michael Jordan.

Yeah, so he said that he put that tweet up because he was getting a lot of heat online

because he dared to post a Mason Ramsey, Miles Garrett take.

Wait, don't.

Sorry, Mason Rudolph.

You're doing that on purpose.

Yeah, has he still been shave your mustache?

I haven't posted since.

Yeah, he's scared you off.

Yeah, I think it's not a very fullback move to get all those retweets.

He should actually, if he was a true fullback,

he would be blocking too much of the internet to ever get that many retweets and likes.

True.

True.

Low Man Trophy coming soon.

That's right, yeah.

Week before Heisman.

The week of the Heisman. We're going to cuck the Heisman.
As we always do. What are your Peloton handles? There are several fake PFTs, and I want to make sure I'm following the real Low Man.
I'm on PFT Commenter. And I'm also PFT Commenter on Peloton.
Yeah, Big Cass also. We share a handle.
We share everything. So any time you see a record, it was probably mine.
Uh-huh, That's true. But I might make the Genesis halftime show on Monday Night Football a recurring thing.
That was a lot of fun. But listening to it, in retrospect, listening to my heavy breathing while answering the questions.
I did that radio hit on Pittsburgh on DVE with our guys. And they played me back some of me quacking at Duck.
Got it.

Because Duck joined the Instagram Live.

And just hearing that audio back is extremely inappropriate.

Yeah.

I mean, I would be honored to be a guest at some point whenever you'd have me.

But I'll just eat chili while you hop on.

Peloton should make a tandem bike.

Like a two-person bike where the person on the back. Just kind of so good.
All right. Three more flushing adequate question.
First one's a flushing adequate question. Okay.
If your peers, if your P is clear, but you're in someone else's home, do you flush at which darkness of yellow? Do you go from leave it to a must flush at your own place? At my own place, pretty much like nothing. I'll keep anything in there flush-wise.
Let it mellow. Yeah.
But at another person's house, it really has to be they can't tell the difference. I think any shade of yellow whatsoever, you have to flush it.
Even bubbles. Bubbles counts.
Also, if the bathroom is close enough to the couch area or the communal area, I like to flush as I'm ending my pee.

That way I can let out a nice juicy fart at the end of it.

And the flush covers it up.

Do you ever try and time your pee to finish as your flush is being?

Yeah, of course.

All the time.

But then what happens when you go over?

Any leftovers.

Overtime.

Rollover minutes.

Rollover minutes, you just let those.

You don't do a double flush on a pee.

Yeah.

But then that defeats the whole purpose because you're leaving pee in the toilet. Yeah, that's fine.
I'm trying to save the environment. I pee in sinks, so who's the real winner? Cart corral etiquette.
We don't have to deal with this as New Yorkers. After unloading your groceries in your vehicle, what is the maximum distance you'll go to walk your cart into the cart corral? No, okay, so here's the rule.
First of all, you should do everything you can to at least uh get it to where all the carts are but if it is a very large distance you just need to make sure it's linked up to at least two other carts yeah so if there's two other stray carts in a spot you can just you're starting your own snake yeah so that's really the rule as far as i go that counts counts as docking it. Right, exactly.
So not one.

One is now it's just a lonesome pair. It needs to be two others.
And then you're like, well, someone had the idea here of starting a new snake. I'll add to it.
I like that. Another option would be I like to find somebody that's on their way in and be like, hey, I got a cart for you.
And they're like, no, psycho. I'm just going to get my own cart inside.
I don't want your dirty used cart. Greasy hands.
or what i like to do sometimes is if i get within maybe 20 yards of the docking station i'll just give it a shove i'll just push it real far nice and hope that it goes in and if it doesn't i already have walked away and i already did the swaggy p like threes in the air right and behind me it's bouncing off the side yes absolutely all right last one i volunteered to help a friend coach his son's peewee team age 14 there are two weeks left in the season and i was curious at what point does it become acceptable to tell a kid on the team who thinks he's the best player that he's actually not good at all is that or is that out of bounds i think you leave that up to his stepdad that's a stepdad's job yeah how wait how old 14 some 14 year old yeah you can so i think once you once kids hit puberty you can start softly saying hey maybe this isn't for you no this kid this is a cocky kid oh he wants to like this kid is like the cocky cock of the walk on the team oh yeah he wants to be like yo you suck t him up are we talking about football or basketball or what? I mean the season's coming to the end it's gotta be football

maybe soccer

yeah

maybe you recommend that

the kid's switch as a kicker

tell the ref to kick him out

honestly

like that's annoying

like kick him out of a game

and give him a little humble pie

oh so not even like

direct face to face

yeah no

passive aggressively

yeah for sure

or what you can do

so not even helping him

no no don't help at all

just for your own satisfaction

to watch him cry

as he gets kicked out

this is maybe a solution where you can kind of have the other kids tell it to him. At the end of the year ceremony, have the team vote on an MVP.
And then when he doesn't get it, like Antonio Brown style, then he's going to flip out, force his way off your team. You don't have to deal with him next year.
Yeah, and that also could be pretty much do anything to make him cry because then if he cries in front of all of his friends, he's the cry kid and he can't be the best player. That's just mentally he's done being the alpha in the group.
It's true. He'll probably be years of therapy and all that stuff and he'll be hanging with him forever, but at least you've done your job.
That's it? That's it. Okay.

Antonio Brown's come back, by the way.

Official?

Breaking moves?

No, just...

Just a hunch you have?

Who told you?

Incarcerated Bob?

No, I just...

I got sources.

Oh, okay.

Sources?

Is it twitter.com?

I get...

If Leroy doesn't have it, I'm not going to trust him.

Leroy's not running with this at all.

I mean, it's in your guy's blood.

What?

AB?

Like, blood type?

No, like, my source is your guy's in your guys blood. What? AB like blood type.
No, my sources. Your guys is direct relation

to you. Wait, what?

I have no idea what that means.

Oh, Julian said something.

Mike Florio said I

yeah, this is the part of the season where Florio

gets a little

stir crazy. Yeah, he's

his takes are just getting out of here. Yeah, you leave.

I love him. You leave Mike alone with his takes for

too long and he's going to come up with some weird

inventions of it. So I guess what he's

I'm sorry. Sir crazy.
Yeah. His takes are just getting out of hand.
I love him for it. You leave Mike alone with his takes for too long, and he's going to come up with some weird inventions.
So I guess what he's reporting, Antonio Brown is gassing up his hot air balloon as we speak. That would be sick if he flew into Foxborough on that thing.
Kind of crazy that Antonio Brown was wearing his Raiders helmet in his Instagram videos. It is.
So he's finally learning what it's like to not get paid for a contract, and he's figured out he doesn't like it. Right, right.
Exactly. He's evolving.
Right. All right.
We will see everyone on Monday. Love you guys.
Doink and it's in. That's number three.
I'm talking away. I don't know what to say.
I'm Today's my day to find you Show me your way I'll be coming for your love again Take on me Take on me Take me Take Take me off Take me off Take me off So needless to say A heart's an. I'm feeling so little way.
So they're learning that life is okay. Say up to me.
At least we're planning to be safe and sorry. Take care.
Take here. Dream on me.
Dream on me. I'll be gone.
Let it do your time. All the things that you say.
And like one Just a way that worries high

You are the things I've got to remember

You're shy and I

Love it coming for you anyway

Take on me

Take on me Take on me

Take on me

I'll take on

Take on me