Nascar Champ Kyle Busch, Shorts Guy Chris Matthew + NFL Week 12 Picks And Preview

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have NASCAR champ Kyle Bush in studio.

Speaker 1 We tried to bury the hatchet with Joey Slogano with a phone call.

Speaker 1 You'll see what happens there. You'll see what happens there.

Speaker 1 We have Shorts Guy, the Winnipeg Blue Bomber Super fan who on a bet to himself said he would wear only shorts in canada until the blue bombers won a gray cup he said that in 2001 they have not won a gray cup but they're playing it in on sunday so he may finally get to put on pants again we have nfl picks and preview uh little fancy fuckboys and firefest a packed friday show for you before we do all that though pardon my take is brought to you by

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Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 let's go!

Speaker 1 No place to hang a low washing.

Speaker 1 And then a candy name all on the sounds. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Eli, Shake Avenue.

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Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to electric. Part of my take.

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Today is Friday, November 22nd.

Speaker 1 And Deshaun Watson and DeAndre Hopkins are electric. I'm actually happy for DeAndre Hopkins because the list of quarterbacks that he's had to play with in Houston has been just so bad.

Speaker 1 It's like you feel bad for the quarterbacks he's played with, just like you feel bad for all Houston quarterbacks for the offensive line that they've had to play with over the years.

Speaker 1 So I got the list. Here we go.
Matt Schaub. Great.
Case Keenum.

Speaker 1 Ryan Fitzpatrick. Ryan Mallett and his alarm clock.
Case Keenum again. Brian Hoyer.

Speaker 1 Ryan Mallet again. TJ Yates, the eighths of hell.
Brandon Whedon. This is a who's who of backup quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Brock Osweiler, Tom Savage Gardens, Tom Savage Gardens again, Deshaun Watson, TJ Yates, and now Deshaun Watson for the last two years. Jesus.

Speaker 1 The fact that it, I always, like, I remembered it in the back of my head, but the fact that it really is our trio of Tom Savage, Brandon Whedon, and TJ Yates of hell, like, that's incredible.

Speaker 1 The fact that they brought Ryan Mallet back again

Speaker 1 as like the better option gives you all that you need to know about that situation. It's like verbal meme.

Speaker 1 You know that grizzly bear that catches everything behind that fence like the pieces of bread they throw at it? Verbal meme, I'm going to tell my kids this is Deshaun Watson. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 And we are doing this because we're stalling because it's actually still with a few minutes left in the fourth quarter, and the Colts might actually win the game. The Colts do.

Speaker 1 But we have not said anything yet declaratively.

Speaker 1 Would we like to?

Speaker 1 I would like to declare at this point that I hope both teams have fun.

Speaker 1 And that I hope somebody takes their helmet off and hits another player with it.

Speaker 1 The reason, though, we were talking about DeAndre Hopkins is if the game didn't have DeAndre Hopkins and Deshaun Watson, it would have been straight booty cheeks. Yes.

Speaker 1 Because, listen, the Colts, credit to Frank Wright, credit to Frankie.

Speaker 1 Wait, booty cheeks. Booty cheeks.

Speaker 1 I'm going to disagree with you because that implies good. You're not an ass guy? No, no, no.
Straight booty cheeks. You need a

Speaker 1 booty cheeks. A round booty, not a straight.
Flat booty cheeks. Yeah, booty cheeks with a little poop in the crap.
Hank Hill booty cheeks.

Speaker 1 yeah so the cults are they play a style that's not appealing to i don't know it's not deshaun watson deandre hopkins jacoby rousett is a very good quarterback and they run the ball very well but it's not deandre hopkins and deshaun watts if you want to sound like a football guy you have to say but their offensive line is so much fun to watch

Speaker 1 if you grind the tape on him they got quentin nelson they got lewinsky costanzo do you think brian baldinger uh do you think he even puts on pants when the cults are playing in prime time?

Speaker 1 No, he's like the Canadian guy that we're going to interview all the time. Just shorts, but they're around his ankles.

Speaker 1 He probably makes himself a stack of pancakes and eats them while watching Clinton Nelson.

Speaker 1 That's actually how he fucked up his finger where it looks like it's broken just by cranking his hog to game film of offensive lineup. Yes, yes.
Not a football injury.

Speaker 1 I just realized, do the Colts play against the Bears this year? No. Fuck.
Because if you had Lewinsky going up against Clinton Dix in a game, that would be like my Superman. Oh, wow.
wow. Maybe

Speaker 1 Rich.

Speaker 1 Actually, might be next year. Might be next year.
I don't know. All right, I got to get some tweets drafted.
I got to fill up the folder for that.

Speaker 1 Get that going. Actually, they did in the preseason.
Shit. Damn, they missed that.

Speaker 1 That was the game that Andrew Luck retired. Before the.

Speaker 1 It was after the preseason game, the Bears played the Colts. So Lewinsky was dressed in blue with the white stripes on

Speaker 1 his uniform. Okay, got it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, we don't know who won the game. It will be a choose your own adventure.
Let's just assume the Texans won and say they really have control of the AFC South. Now, let's assume the Colts won.

Speaker 1 They now really have control of the AFC South. I need a Jim Ursa tweet, though, to tell me if the roof's going to be open on Sunday.

Speaker 1 I know they're not playing, but I want to know. Yes.
Got to know.

Speaker 1 He definitely has a recurring calendar invite to himself. Pops up.
To tweet about the roof.

Speaker 1 I got a busy schedule.

Speaker 1 Clear all my meetings. I got to tweet about the roof.
Yep. So, yeah, so we have week 12 coming up.

Speaker 1 The let's see. We also quickly should say Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph.
That whole situation got a little bit weirder today. Big day for the notes app.
Yes. Huge.
We got a notes app off.

Speaker 1 So Miles Garrett had his

Speaker 1 hearing with the NFL. He said that Mason Rudolph said a racial slur.
Then the NFL went and looked, which I don't even know how they looked, is everyone mic'd up? I don't know,

Speaker 1 and said that they couldn't hear anything. And I actually kind of feel bad for Miles Garrett because it sounds like he said it in a meeting that he didn't think was going to be public.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 So then it went public. And now the whole situation, now everyone's just fighting over this in a different realm of hitting someone over the head with a helmet is back.

Speaker 1 I think so everyone jumps to the idea that Mason used the big one, right? But

Speaker 1 I can't imagine Mason Rudolph saying the word Fredo. Mm-hmm.
That doesn't seem like it's in line with what he's all about as a person.

Speaker 1 All I'll say is that Mason Rudolph, and I, if the NFL looked through the tape and didn't find anything, I think it's unfair to be like, just assume that he said something to, you know, something racially motivated to make Miles Garrett mad.

Speaker 1 I just know that I've seen Mason Rudolph's face enough. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just want to mad.

Speaker 1 I've been on this for a long time.

Speaker 1 Look, nothing against you, Mason. And Miles Garrett deserves to be suspended for the rest of the season, but nothing against you, Mason.
I don't like your face.

Speaker 1 What does it indefinitely mean for Roger? I want Roger Goodell to put together like a 40-page report about this incident. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Using a former FBI director to comb through the audio and see if any racial slurs were uttered. All I know is that they should have every player mic'd up for every game forever.

Speaker 1 And how to actually, I'd be more interested to know if they did find evidence that a racial slur was used in Roger Goodell's mind, in his brain, how does that affect the suspension?

Speaker 1 I want to know how much a racial slur was.

Speaker 1 How does he weigh that? In the NFL rule book.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? But yeah, there's no proof that he said it. There's no proof, I guess, that he didn't say it.
You just have to go with what you know.

Speaker 1 At this point, there's no evidence that he said it, so that's it. Yeah, so we'll move on

Speaker 1 and we will move on without Miles Garrett for the rest of the year. And again, I actually think that the punishment for the Steelers is not punishing Mason.

Speaker 1 Like the league punished the Steelers by not suspending Mason Rudolph. Exactly.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You can watch us on barstowgold.com/slash PMT. You also can watch Rough and Rowdy.
PFT is ready for Christmas. PFT PFT is ready for Christmas.
Is this Christmas? Well,

Speaker 1 this is from our good friends at Roeback.

Speaker 1 It's fresh. It looks like...

Speaker 1 It looks like it's December 21st. Well, I was saying it looked like it's either December 21st or he's getting off the ski slopes, which he's never been on.
True.

Speaker 1 Just fucking crush some slaloms. I was saying it looks like maybe I'm a bicycle instructor.
Yeah, that's like a

Speaker 1 for some sort of like national cycling. I feel like the hair plays with the bike industry as well.
Yeah. Yeah.
You do have a little French vibe going on right now. A little French boy vibe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll take it. Big time.
Okay, let's get to the preview, our weekend preview, NFL weekend preview, week 12. Don't say it.
Don't say it.

Speaker 1 Actually, let me get through this and then I want to talk about that real quick.

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Speaker 1 Here is my can't lose parlay this week. You ready? Are you guys ready? My body has been ready.
There's no chance, no chance the Saints lose at home to the Panthers.

Speaker 1 Unless it's Sean Payton letting the Panthers have one because they let the Bucs beat him last week. No chance.
They let the Falcons beat him to keep Dan Quinn in. No chance.
The Panthers pop.

Speaker 1 That bubble has popped with Kyle Allen. He is not a real starter in the NFL.
His hands are too small. The Saints, the best thing they can do is stop the run.
The only thing the Panthers can do is run.

Speaker 1 But Christian McCaffrey today was upgraded to a 99 in Madden. I don't care.
That's huge. That's a Madden curse.

Speaker 1 The Steelers are not going to lose to the Bengals because Mason Rudolph has never lost a game after he's been accused of saying something racist. That's true.
Well, we don't know.

Speaker 1 We have no idea what his high score is. It might not.
That's true. We'll have to look into it.
And then, Hank, you'll like this part? The Patriots.

Speaker 1 So you basically need the Steelers and Saints, and then you get to just relax, and the Patriots will beat the Cowboys because all you got to know about the Patriots-Cowboys game is Jason Garrett versus Bill Belcher.

Speaker 1 Right. You have to think about that, but also jumping back to the second leg, you're not going to have a pouncy.

Speaker 1 That's fine. You're not going to have a pouncy.
The Bengals have a Finley. They have one Finley, but they don't have a Pouncey.
And they also don't have a Tate, and they also don't have any weapons.

Speaker 1 I think, actually, when we get to our picks, I also have another pick in that game because that game's going to be ugly. A.J.
Green,

Speaker 1 we don't know yet. No, A.J.
Green's never going to play. A.J.
Green just kind of like shows up and retired. Yeah, they just say, A.J., you know what? Sit this out.
We're going to pay you.

Speaker 1 And then when you're healthy, we'll trade you. And Auden Tate, who has been very good, I think, is hurt very badly.

Speaker 1 And then the Steelers, yeah, it's going to be an ugly game. Ugly, ugly game.
They have seen North Football. Steelers' defense will not let Ryan Finley beat them.
What, Hank? He's not ruled out.

Speaker 1 He just said

Speaker 1 every week.

Speaker 1 For Green to play Sunday since he's not practicing. Okay, so it's going to be tough for him to to play.
It's tough to start a guy that is more talented than the rest of your team.

Speaker 1 This rivalry, though, it's different. It is.
It slaps different. Damn, it sucks.
Like, that's a shitty. This is a shitty.
Five years ago, I would have been so pumped for this game.

Speaker 1 How many touchdowns do you think Mink is getting today? Oh, at least three.

Speaker 1 I think Mink is racking up maybe four.

Speaker 1 Three pick sixes. Three pick sixes,

Speaker 1 a fumble six, and an interception on a two-point conversion. Okay, so that game sucks.
And we have a very lopsided week 12. I teased this before we did the ad.

Speaker 1 I am sad that it is week 12, but I'm going to give everyone a pep talk right now because, yes, it's week 12, and you're thinking, oh my gosh, where has the season gone?

Speaker 1 Just remember, bowl season, playoff football. Those are the best two things that you can think of when you think of football.

Speaker 1 Like bowl season, wall-to-wall, bowl season, and then playoff football, wild cards, Saturday and Sunday. Oh, my God, that's the best.
So fret not.

Speaker 1 We are getting towards the end of the regular season, but we still got a lot of great football left. And it doesn't even mean that the season is more than half the way over.

Speaker 1 So when you get to the wildcard week and you get to the divisional round week, even though they're only two games on each day, it's still the exact same duration of football.

Speaker 1 You're still on your couch for the same amount of time. So as far as I'm concerned, those are full weeks.
And college football is the longest college football season ever.

Speaker 1 The national championship is January 13th. I saw that.

Speaker 1 I thought such a big difference. Like, wait, double digits? Yes.
Let's go. Yes.
It's such a big difference that we get all the way to January 13th. The week after the Super Bowl, XFL starts.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So really,

Speaker 1 there's no offseason.

Speaker 1 By the way, that is, I saw they were, you know, the collective bargaining that's going on right now and the NFL might have a work stoppage, but we're not going to talk about that. The

Speaker 1 season going extra, like if they make it a 17-game season, but

Speaker 1 or 18-game season with two buys, I'm so in for that because the Super Bowl on President's Day weekend, we can finally have the Monday holiday, which is actually a fake holiday.

Speaker 1 But more than that, March Madness is like one week after. It's perfect.
It bridges the gap. The conference tournament weekend comes like right after.
It bridges the gap.

Speaker 1 Does anybody actually get President's Day off? No, I think it's just a totally fake. I think it's like city workers.
If you work

Speaker 1 if you work for a president, then you get the day off. Does the stock market close? Probably.
Those stock market guys are lazy. I mean, good for them.
They do all the Coke.

Speaker 1 They need some time to sleep in every now and again on every single holiday.

Speaker 1 But they take every, every little fake half day off. Wabistics.
Good for them. Yeah, good for them.
Wabistics, Matthew Bevilakwa. Okay,

Speaker 1 let's talk some week 12. So we have three premiere games.
We have the Seahawks and the Eagles, the Cowboys and the Patriots, and the Packers and the 49ers.

Speaker 1 Every other game has some variation of this sucks.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 like, for example, if you want to go Bucks, Falcons, I don't know, that kind of sucks. Like, are the Falcons going to win out? Maybe, sure.
Steelers, Bengals, we talked about. Dolphins, Browns.

Speaker 1 That kind of sucks.

Speaker 1 It's lopsided. It's a lopsided week.
It's a very Lions Red. And then New Orleans.
Lions Red. Well, that's just shit.
So we should talk about that. It's just all shit.
Because tickets are going for $4.

Speaker 1 $4 to $10 in the Upper Bull area. I had an idea.
So I saw, you know me, I'm a bargain hunter by my very nature. It's in my blood.

Speaker 1 We could buy a shitload of tickets, give them away for free to people wearing day glow t-shirts, but buy all the tickets in a pattern that says sell the team. Okay.

Speaker 1 Or I thought that might be unrealistic because then I'd have to figure out exactly what seats were where. I don't think that's the unrealistic part.
Really?

Speaker 1 I think the unrealistic part is actually getting people to go to the game, even with a free ticket. I think if they knew that they were part of a larger movement, they wouldn't be there for the game.

Speaker 1 They would go to a Redskins game just to show Dan Snyder how much they didn't want to go to a Redskins game. I think you still would have to.
I think you'd have to pay the people to go.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we could then we could put that, roll that into the cost of the tickets. If we had a budget of $20 a ticket, we'd probably need to buy, what, 50 tickets? See Geek, listening Cash App.

Speaker 1 Seek and Cash App.

Speaker 1 Hey, fuck with the vision, let's build. But the problem I think we're going to run into is figuring out what seats would spell out sell the team.

Speaker 1 That could be. So then I was thinking what we should just do is just Photoshop it.
I like that. Yes, and

Speaker 1 perfect. It's a pay.
We have to keep the cash the cash app gave us. Yeah, we're no, yeah, cash app discounted seeky.
Well, we need, we need to, we need to pay the graphic designers.

Speaker 1 We don't want to just, you know, no, Triggs will do it. Triggs will do it.
Okay, so what we'll do is we're going to,

Speaker 1 here's the deal: it's going to be a pack between us and our listeners, okay? So listeners. Don't tell Triggs.

Speaker 1 No, don't tell anyone that it's Photoshopped when we tweet it out, okay? And also, don't tell Triggs that we're not paying him from the Cash App money that we're pocketing this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's between us. Mm-hmm.
Triggs listens. But yeah.
Don't tell him. Make sure you don't tell him.
Yes. This game is sad, though.
$4 seconds. And you know what?

Speaker 1 It's one of those things. I think the Redskins' Twitter account needs to get to a point where you know how you can do that option on Twitter where you can't be tagged in pictures.

Speaker 1 I think they need to untag themselves in pictures. They need to on Instagram as well.
Yeah. And all people keep tweeting about it.
Also, just lose the verified check mark. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for the Redskins' tweets on Sunday. It's a must-follow on Sundays when they get a field goal down

Speaker 1 27-3 to Jeff Driscoll. There will be a halftime update of the score, and then there will be a final.
It'll just say final period, 30 to 3 Detroit Lions. It's going to be ugly.
It's going to be ugly.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 yeah, so we have those three premiere games, and the nice thing is they're in three different slots.

Speaker 1 Also, we do this every time this happens, but NFL, fuck you, only two four o'clock games, and one of them happens to be Jaguars Titans, which I actually did like the sour beer face when I saw that.

Speaker 1 That's a Thursday night game. It's a Thursday night game, and you put it on Sunday, but seriously, two four o'clock games,

Speaker 1 that's just not right. You know what that makes me do, and I'll tie this right into our picks for the weekend.

Speaker 1 Yep, it makes me have to take the over in the Cowboys Patriots game, of course, because that's the game that we're going to be watching.

Speaker 1 Joe Buck is, I'm pretty sure, is going to be announcing it. Either him or Tony Romo.
Either way, it's going to be an over voice, though. Joe Buck here.
It's Joe Buck, yeah.

Speaker 1 So you always bet the over when Buck's calling the game. That was an easy call for me.
All right, so let's do our picks. Hank, why don't you start? Give us your favorite: the Raiders.

Speaker 1 Ooh, going west to east.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Time zones.

Speaker 1 Raiders and Chargers, two biggest time zone teams. For some reason, I don't feel...
Like,

Speaker 1 no, when the Seahawks go east, I don't think it affects them. Really? That's my point.
It's like,

Speaker 1 if you tell me Raiders and Chargers going to the East Coast, I'm like, ooh, that's bad. Chargers for sure.
What's the East? The Jets are actually an East to West team. If the Jets go west, they lose.

Speaker 1 I would say it's the Jets. Well, yeah, that's true.
You get Jet led.

Speaker 1 I would say that if you go

Speaker 1 from Seattle, they're more of a north to south team. So, like, the further they go south, the more I'm like,

Speaker 1 they're out of their element. That's a totally different biome.

Speaker 1 All right, your favorite. My favorite is

Speaker 1 this is going to be my lock. So, last week, I think I had the triple locks.
I had the triple platinum lock.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is the golden goose. This one's going to be my thermite accelerant flaming lock of the week.
So, this is a big fucking fire, okay?

Speaker 1 It's the Buffalo fucking Bills minus four at home against the Broncos.

Speaker 1 If that loses,

Speaker 1 you don't like it, Hank? Nah. You think the Broncos are going to go into Orchard Park and push Josh Allen around?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't want to talk negatively about Josh Allen.
No, I don't think. It's that time of year where the Bills.
It's not going to push Josh Allen around. It's just, I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's a weird game to me. A screw comes loose.
I know the screw comes loose. A wheel falls off.
I also feel like

Speaker 1 you're talking about the wagons. The Bills get high and then they get.
Although, I like it because the Broncos just came, their whole season's over, and Vic Fangio is not a people person. Right.

Speaker 1 So I like it.

Speaker 1 They're also going from elevation to sea level. Yeah, I mean, they're going to be suffocating from all the oxygen.
I like that. All right.
My favorite, I'm going to take the 49ers.

Speaker 1 Listen, this is setting up to be a disastrous season for me where I convince myself the Packers are frauds every single week until they win the Super Bowl, and then I cry in a puddle.

Speaker 1 So that's what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 They're a fraud. I think their defense is a fraud.

Speaker 1 And then every Packer fan tweets me and like, what are you talking about? You're just mad about the... Yeah, I am, okay? They got Devontae Adams back, though, right? Whatever, whatever.

Speaker 1 Listen, I know that I'm setting myself up for hurt, but I'm going to do it. Greg Kittle's coming back.
That's nice. Yeah.
Hank, your underdog.

Speaker 1 Crushing loss last week with the Broncos, plus 400 man lost, but I'm going back on the train. Dolphins as the underdog, take him on the money line as well.
Ooh,

Speaker 1 I would like to see, I would like, this is the week where I would like to see the Bills lose because Bills fans would lose their minds. if the browns lost like browns nation would fall apart

Speaker 1 yeah you are you're just mean bitter hank meanie what you're just meanie stank lockwood over there i mean that's mean it i'm sorry so you're sorry you're the reason behind your picks is just because you want to watch the world burn no that well the i'm the plus 400 man the dolphins are the only plus 400 option but then thinking about it afterwards it's like well the browns coming off of last thursday if somehow uh yeah they lose this game Think about the chaos.

Speaker 1 Think about the takes. I'm thinking about the show.
I'm thinking about the quality of the show.

Speaker 1 The takes would be stronger if the Browns lost to the table. They're so good to us.

Speaker 1 BFD, you're underdog. My underdog, I'm going to fade Hank on this one big time.
My underdog is the Jets.

Speaker 1 Jets plus three. Run the table.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 we're in the middle, the early stages of the table running. Yes.
But I think that they could handle their business at home. Okay, I'll take the Seahawks plus one.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson is an underdog 23, 7-1 against a spread in his career.

Speaker 1 That's the wonkiest line of the year. That That is a wonky line, but this is also one of those situations where it's a double trick game.
You look at it and you say, why are the Seahawks underdogs?

Speaker 1 So you trick yourself to take the Eagles and then you say, wait, but why would I do that? Trick back to the Seahawks. It's also double trick.
It's also a bird matchup, which, as we realized,

Speaker 1 birds are awesome in retrograde. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
That's right.

Speaker 1 Over. Bucks Falcons.
Ooh, Bucks. Bucks Glore.
Yes, Bucks, Every single over basically ever the Bucs have had. I've hit.

Speaker 1 And I'm excited for Jameis being in a dome, so maybe he can see his receivers for once. He's returning to the scene of the eating of the W.

Speaker 1 No, that was in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Are you sure? Yeah. It was.
Fuck it. Okay.
Dome. Well, no, it's still in the dome.
It's still a Mercedes-Benz dome. Yeah, still a dome.
Okay. Still dome.
It's still a dome in the NFC South.

Speaker 1 My over is the Cowboys and the Patriots, as I said earlier. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's an over bet that you have to make. I'm going to take the Bears and Giants over 40 and a and I'll tell you why.

Speaker 1 Chase Daniel today, quote, I told him talking about Mitch Trubisky, I thought today he threw the ball as best as I've ever seen him on a Thursday, and that's the fact.

Speaker 1 That's 100% truth, which makes me totally believe him, the fact that he had to say it's the fact, and also that it's 100% truth. It's worth it.
No, really. No, really.
No, no, seriously, dude.

Speaker 1 I swear to God. You actually hit all your receivers on of practice.

Speaker 1 The fact that he had to back it up like two times by saying how truthful it was

Speaker 1 makes it definitely sound like a statement that he wouldn't have said if it wasn't true. Yeah, oh no, he's totally telling the truth.
And again, he was talking about throwing the ball in a practice.

Speaker 1 On a Thursday, though. On a Thursday.
Specifically a Thursday. True, that is when they implement the game plan.
Exactly. So

Speaker 1 if you don't think Mitch is about to get hot, well, you don't believe Chase Daniels saying facts and 100% truths.

Speaker 1 And Chase Daniel has seen a lot of quarterbacks throw on a lot of Thursdays from the sidelines. That's been his entire career.
That's exactly right. Okay, I like that.
How embarrassing is that quote?

Speaker 1 I mean, you've got to take what you can get at this point. And Daniel Jones is going to be good for at least six pick sixes

Speaker 1 in this game.

Speaker 1 Hank, you're under. Let's finish up with the under.
That would be a nice distraction, wouldn't it, if Daniel Jones just stunk it up out there? Oh, it's much needed for someone else to be bad.

Speaker 1 Have Mitch go 11 for 20 for like 90 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions, and Daniel Jones throws three picks. Six pick sixes.
That's a great day for you. Six pick sixes would be incredible.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Under.
Stiller's bungles. Oh, that's mine too.
Okay. Yeah, not a lot of points.

Speaker 1 There's no one that's going to score. I don't know who's going to score.
Who's going to score? Maybe. Andy Dalton, Andy Dalton at running back? Possibly.
Yeah. He's pretty much.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 My under, I'm going to fade Hank again. I'm going Tampa Bay at Atlanta.
51 and a half. I think that the Falcons' defense is good now, somehow.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine if Dan Quinn

Speaker 1 Quinn saved the Falcons by partially killing himself so that the owners didn't have to kill him? So he gave up part of his play calling duties on defense, except for like third downs.

Speaker 1 He divided play calling amongst like four people on his coaching staff. So now Arthur Blank doesn't know who to fire.

Speaker 1 I want the Falcons to get back in this. Because it is a pinky bet just got completely erased this year.
But imagine if they ran the table and got a wild card spot. It'd be crazy.

Speaker 1 They'd be the hottest team in football. I think the defense is good.
They'd have to win every single game, so they would be, by definition, the hottest team in football. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think Bruce Arians is just in the fuck it, Jameis. You go out there and you throw the ball whatever direction your eyes happen to be pointed in at that time.
Jameis. As far as you can.

Speaker 1 Be you, Jameis. We're all having fun with it.

Speaker 1 If you can't win, at least have some fun.

Speaker 1 And that's just Jameis being Jameis. Okay, remember: Bet MGM is a home for PMT this football season.
If you're a new user, you place your first bet of $1 or more on PFT's primetime field goal special.

Speaker 1 You'll get $25 for every field goal hit Sunday and Monday night football, but you got to make sure to use your bonus code PMT when you sign up.

Speaker 1 Also use your bonus code because if you use that, your million-dollar parlay. Oh, I got a million-dollar parlay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So use that. I was just sitting back on Wednesday of this week and I was just doing all these different additions to a parlay that I had, and I figured out an eight-team parlay all on underdogs.

Speaker 1 I think it's the eight biggest underdogs of the week. Okay.

Speaker 1 If you parlay the Dolphins, Broncos, Bengals, Giants, Panthers, Bucks, Redskins, and Cowboys, if you parlay all those shitty teams to win outright, it pays out 10,000 to 1.

Speaker 1 Hey, crazier things have happened. If you bet $100 on that parlay, you win a million dollars.
Wow. And who wants to be a million? You should win.
Wait, are the Packers in that or no?

Speaker 1 No, they're not in that. Okay, so if you get to, are the Jaguars or the Titans? All right, so if you get to the Cowboys portion, the NFL only has two games,

Speaker 1 so you could hedge out. You could hedge out.
All you got to do is win the first seven.

Speaker 1 yep that's easy you just gotta get there that just made it the easiest parlay ever it's really a seven team parlay yeah right and then the last one is free money free money um all right so go to bed mgm.com or bed mgm right now use code pmt and uh you get all those bonuses and we'll see you guys on monday night all right let's do some fantasy fuck boys and we get to kyle bush and then shorts guy

Speaker 1 What's up, boys? It's Paulie Donahue. My statum this week is my pectoral muscles.
The boys finally got a bench press.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got one in the PMT studio, and it's soon enough that my pecs are gonna be puffing out of my shirt. I thought you said pet turtle.
Pet turtle?

Speaker 1 You gotta get a bunch of turtle? Petoral. Pokemon.
My sitim is ESPN at fucking Columbus, Ohio this weekend. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 The kids are protesting. It's fake news.
It's a fucked up organization. No one's gonna go to game day.
Fuck game day. Fuck you.
Why would you ever protest against Ohio State and Penn State?

Speaker 1 Do you great and who's the higher learning? And in my sleeper is Marcus's smartest defensive player of the year. Can you get the future in? Probably like plus 2,000 right now.
Take it up.

Speaker 1 Put some money in your pocket. Paulie, you're such a homer.
Who cares? It's November. Free money.
What's up, fuck, guys? This is Giardinia DeLorentix. I'm starting fake burner accounts this weekend.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. I have that too.
Fake burner accounts. Been there, done that.
Nation Aguilar, did he or didn't he? Whoever deleted all those tweets had some alligator arms, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 You know the original fake burner account. What's that? The right side fire.
You knew that one, though.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting learning people's new names. There are too many new names out there.
All this stuff going on. I'm sick of learning new names.
I can't stand it. Get out of here.
I hate learning new shit.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 I'm my sleeper. Oh, yeah, you got your sleeper.
It's Terry McLaurin on the Redskins. That's right.
Scary Terry. I call this guy Terry McLovin because he's skinny.

Speaker 1 He He looks like he's 12, but he's cool as hell, even though the rest of that cast is super bad. Terry Hatcher.
Andrew Perloff. Alright, my fantasy fuckball.
What's up, guys? It's Tony Tagliatelli.

Speaker 1 Tagliatelli Tony. My stardom is Baker Mayfield.
Baker Mayfield has never lost a game after his teammate tried to kill another guy for saying a bad word.

Speaker 1 A lot of guys haven't started a game after that, though.

Speaker 1 I'm just looking at my advanced stats right now. What'd he call him? A cracker? My situm is also burners.
Jesse, you fucked. My sitim is also burners.
Remember Bunsen Burners?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay,

Speaker 1 class. My Jesse, let's cook in the bed.
My sleepers, the Clippers. I think the Clippers might be good this year.
So I'm going to give him out as one of my sleepers for maybe a championship. Who cares?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's all. So remember who told you first? Sleeping on the Clippers.
Yeah. Better wake up.

Speaker 1 Hank, did you watch that whole game? Yeah. Really? I did.
Did you want to do Soggy Soros? No, I mean, the refs, it was clearly rigged. The rest were, it was

Speaker 1 the craziest. I thought I was watching the NFL.
There was a clear foul. Brad Stevens, great coach's challenge, and they just didn't overrule it for whatever reason.

Speaker 1 But it was a great game.

Speaker 1 Are you challenging? It was honestly like

Speaker 1 I was watching it in bed, slightly starting to fall asleep, and then it got so exciting that by the end of it, I was up till like three in the morning.

Speaker 1 Are you concerned at all that Ben Simmons is now the best three-point shooter in the NBA? No.

Speaker 1 It's not an issue. Five at all.

Speaker 1 Shout out to him. I actually think that he did it too early.
You think he should have done it? In his career, yeah. Because it was such a big moment.
He should have waited till like year 10.

Speaker 1 Well, it's like your virginity. You get it out of the way over quickly, then you do it a million more times.
It's not a big deal anymore.

Speaker 1 It was shocking that he did that and everyone's like, wait, he, wait, was that the first time he took a three? No, he hit one last year. No, he'd taken some like half-court heaves too.

Speaker 1 But like as a pure three, I don't think he took a pure three last year at all. Now you got to respect him, right? Yeah, I mean, I think the over-under on the season is like 12, so.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's a great. I wish I had bet that.
Fuck. That would have been incredible.
That's an incredible bet. You could probably still find it.
Yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 Bet MGM, if you're listening to this, please make that prop for us. We're going to bet that on Monday night.
Give us an updated one that we can. No, just make it 12 still.
Yeah. No, no.

Speaker 1 No, make it lower.

Speaker 1 I think it started a little lower.

Speaker 1 It was between 10 and 13. Okay.
He's going to get hot.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Let's do Kyle Bush, and then we will go to Shorts Guy, which is an unbelievable story of a Winnipeg Blue Bomber fan who said that he was not going to take off his shorts or not wear pants until the Blue Bombers won the Gray Cup.

Speaker 1 And he said that on the eve of the Gray Cup in 2001. I think we talked about him on Wednesday's show, but his name's Chris Matthew, and he is the most Canadian football fan.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 He's awesome. I think I told him I loved him.
Yeah. And then I didn't realize that I said until after the interview.
I was like, I just

Speaker 1 fell in love. He was like, I love those fellas.
Yeah. You know, those are the guys.
All right, before we do that.

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Speaker 1 Uh, okay, here he is: NASCAR Cup champion Kyle Bush.

Speaker 1 Presented by Cash App. Yep.
Yep. How much do they pay? That's a good question.

Speaker 1 A lot. To us? $75,000 per episode.
Well, let's just go. Let's hop right into it.
Is that right? Yeah. Let's hop right into it because you.
Are you telling the truth or are you lying?

Speaker 1 I actually don't know how much they pay per episode. Do you have one episode a day, two episodes a day? Three times a week.
Well, what happened was

Speaker 1 brieweek. We have Kyle Bush on.
He is the reigning NASCAR champion. He just won the championship.

Speaker 1 What happened was there was an article that came out one day, and it was like, pardon my take, grosses $15 million

Speaker 1 a year or something. And then someone literally divided the amount of episodes we did and divided by three and came to the conclusion that we get paid $75,000 per episode.

Speaker 1 So we walk out of here and get a big check. Right.
And we've kind of, we probably helped keep that going.

Speaker 1 But you are a sponsorship guy. That's right.
You noticed it right when you came in. You're like, cash app.
Yeah. Well, who's your favorite sponsor? M ⁇ M's.

Speaker 1 Do you have to say that because they pay the most?

Speaker 1 Yes. All right, let me phrase it a little differently.
When you were looking for new sponsors, did Monster approach you and you're like, hey, your name's name's Kyle. That's synonymous with our brand.

Speaker 1 Let's sign you up. No, actually, I wrote him a letter.
Yeah. You're like, hey, I'm Kyle.
Come on, let's do it. Uh-huh.
Yeah. Yeah.
I wrote a letter to Monster. I was with Nos Energy, and

Speaker 1 they were getting bought out by Coke and kind of going through a transition and didn't quite have the money that we needed to go race Xfinity and all that sort of stuff.

Speaker 1 So I went to Monster, who was in the truck series with Ricky Carmichael, and they were pulling out a NASCAR at the time. And I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second, guys.

Speaker 1 Like, I got a full-time Xfinity gig here. It's going to be fun.
Like, we're going to go win races. Like, we're going to take the world by storm, kick their ass, whatever.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, okay, yeah. All right.
We like that. Sure.
Okay. And

Speaker 1 they paid the money that we needed to be able to go do that. And so I've been with them since.
I like that switch. It's like Hulk Hogan going from WWE or WWF over WCW.

Speaker 1 It's like making the bro switch to the other type of energy drink. And I actually, I prefer monster, but I always have like a moral conundrum when I drink a monster.

Speaker 1 Maybe Maybe you can help me out with that. Sure.
Because I saw that video of the lady describing how monster energy was satanic. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because you turn it upside down, and then it looks like a pitchfork.

Speaker 1 And then she said, and then right here on the back side, that's the mark of the beast. Can you confirm that Monster Energy is not run by a Satanist cabal? No, it is not.
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 I know the guys that run the deal. They're just South African guys that...
Cloven feet? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen their feet. No.
They're just monster guys. Yeah, they just bang a monster.
They live and breed the beast. Love that.
All right. So

Speaker 1 you've been doing a bunch of media today. Yeah.
You're probably exhausted. How much do you hate wearing a suit? It's not bad.

Speaker 1 I mean, I kind of like dressing up sometimes, but yeah, I mean, you guys are totally way more casual. So that's enough.
Do you feel like you overdress for this interview?

Speaker 1 Well, yes, because I was supposed to change before I came here, but...

Speaker 1 My stuff is back at the hotel and we didn't stop by that. Would you have changed into your suit?

Speaker 1 No, I have

Speaker 1 no, like, I had jeans and a sweatshirt on yesterday, so I could have wore that. Okay, damn.
Yeah, so you kind of stick out. Like, it's like a little too

Speaker 1 trying to impress us, not no, no, no. Okay, what was your what's the your favorite interview that you've done this week?

Speaker 1 This week, favorite interview. Can you just give us a list of who you've spoken with? Like the news.
And what was the best question they asked us? Yeah, we'll take that one

Speaker 1 and then we'll ask it again. Did you go and get up?

Speaker 1 Who's that? Mike Greenberg? ESPN? No. No.
Oh, wow. They don't respect NASCAR.
We're We're NASCAR households. Yeah, no, no.
ESPN,

Speaker 1 they've kind of cut us off here lately. It's sad.
But yeah, it is what it is. I'm friends with Matthew Berry, though.
He's pretty cool. Or do you play fantasy football? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Who do you have on your team? I got which team you want to talk about. Give them all.
The one that's winning? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Who's the starting quarterback? Hell yeah. Hold on.
I don't remember.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Are you doing well this year? Yeah, the best team I have is

Speaker 1 that team, so that's what I'm working on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
So never give your bad team. Yeah, no, we don't want to talk about bad teams.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Okay.
I won this past week, 151 to 121. Hell yes.
Yeah, who started for you?

Speaker 1 Come on. You guys's self-service in here sucks.
Okay. Yep.

Speaker 1 I had Tom Brady. Oh.
Oh, that probably didn't get you that many points. It didn't.
No. I remember that now.
I have Tom Brady. I have

Speaker 1 Chris Goodwin. Oh.
Yeah, he had a big game. Nice.
John Brown. Uh-huh.
Nice. Had a big game.
Josh Allen threw him a couple tutters. Yeah.
I have Stephon Diggs. Okay, that's a big one.
He's a touchdown.

Speaker 1 PPR or no? Half PPR. Half PPR.
Okay, all right. Yeah, that's a good call.
And then Christian McCaffrey.

Speaker 1 Dude, how did you... Who else is in your league? Right? You fleeced them.
It's a 10-person league. It's a 10-person league.
And the other guys are like on your crew, and so they have to pay.

Speaker 1 No, this is actually a boy-girl league. So

Speaker 1 it's me and my wife, and then against the others' husbands and wives as well, too. Got it.

Speaker 1 Some of the girls, not all the girls, know how to pick good teams. My wife picks based based off of pictures.
Right. Uh-huh.
So that's why you got Christian McCaffrey.

Speaker 1 Well, here's cool. We got the monsters.
Here's what's cool: I was number one drafted. Oh, okay.
Nice. Nice.
So Christian was number one. So you took him number one off the board.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you were smart because some people were saying maybe say Quad. But

Speaker 1 he had a Caffrey. He was playing some monsters

Speaker 1 earlier this week. And your wife is,

Speaker 1 she knows football. She went to Purdue.
She knows a little bit about football. She knows that,

Speaker 1 damn it, why am I spacing his name right now? New New Orleans quarterback. True Brees.
Thank you, True Brees. Dude, that's so stupid.
I even follow him on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Anyways, she went to Purdue. He went to Purdue, right? So she's a Boilermaker.
What's harder? That's the only thing she knows about Purdue. He's the only thing that's come out of Purdue.
Kyle Strong.

Speaker 1 Neil Armstrong landed on the movie. You just said Kyle Orton.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kyle Orton went to Purdue. We know that.
Yeah. But then.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Nothing happened. No.
What do you mean? He had a long, extended career.

Speaker 1 He went to the Super Bowl game one time.

Speaker 1 Wait, are you saying nothing happened between Kyle Order? Kyle and Kyle Orton. He's a bum.
Oh, your wife and Kyle Orton went to school together? No. Oh, okay.
Yeah, keep trying.

Speaker 1 He's disrespectful. But you are disrespecting.
Don't disrespect Kyle Orton. That's only worse.
Oh, I love Kyle Orton. Kyle Orton.

Speaker 1 You can say what you want about him, but he made a lot of money in the back of the court. All right, let's finish this list.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Melvin Gordon. I forgot, sorry.
Oh, that's nice. Hunter Henry.

Speaker 1 You were real glad when Melvin came back. You probably looked a little bit nervous last time.
Actually, yes, I've lost a couple. Okay.

Speaker 1 What's funny about the Melvin thing is somebody somebody drafted him. Yeah.
And then like week four, they didn't think he was going to come back. Yeah.
And so they dumped him.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you picked him up off of waivers. So then I picked him up off of waivers.
That dumbass put him off.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Because I drafted Eckler in like the eighth round. So you got both of them.
I had both of them. You handcuffed him.
Yes, I did. That's nation.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I got Shark from Jacksonville. Yep.
I got Lutz kicker. That's a good kicker.
And I got Carolina and San Francisco defense. Oh, that's nice.
Swap them out. Yeah.
Go back and forth.

Speaker 1 All right, so you, what's harder, winning a fantasy league or winning the Cup Championship? Winning the boy girl fantasy league is not that hard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've won it the last two years in a row, and now you can see why, right? Yeah. I got a real question for you.
You won this year.

Speaker 1 I saw the comments after because in 2015 you also won, but people are saying there's an asterisk. A little bit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And now you actually can dunk on them because you're like, I got the asterisks one and the real one. I got the asterisks one and the real one.
Yeah. Do you think think the Asterix is fair?

Speaker 1 No, because so what happened was in 2015, I got hurt. I had an injury.
I broke my leg, broke my right foot, so I was out for 11 weeks to start the season.

Speaker 1 And when I came back, we had a little bit of a rough patch kind of coming back, but then I won

Speaker 1 my fifth race back, and then I won three more races, so four total. And then that got us into the top 30 in points, which is what you needed to do.
You had to have a win.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 then we went through the playoffs, and we won the last race at Homestead, won the championship. And everybody was like, well, he's only a part-time champion because he didn't race all the races.

Speaker 1 Nobody ever in NASCAR has not run all the races and not won the championship. It's never happened.
Oh, wow. So I'm a first for a lot of things.

Speaker 1 Like, there weren't 16-year-olds racing back in the day either that got kicked out because then they didn't want 16-year-olds to race anymore. Did that happen to you? That happened to me.

Speaker 1 Now, did you have an advantage because you were so young, so you were light, so the car actually went faster? No, because they weigh the cars with the drivers weight. They weigh you, so you can't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't change. So you got kicked out at 16? I did.
And then when did you get

Speaker 1 18? That's crazy. Yeah.
So you're like the doogie hauser of NASCAR. Yeah, I'm like, yes, pretty much.
Yeah, I might have dated myself. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you kind of did.

Speaker 1 So at least I knew who that was. You did.
Yeah, yeah. There we go.

Speaker 1 How are you able to compete at a professional level at the age of 16?

Speaker 1 That would be like somebody on their 21st birthday that claims that they've never had an alcohol before, like drinking Mick Jagger under the table. I don't understand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how did you get that much practice in it driving when you weren't allowed to drive until this year?

Speaker 1 And what's weird about that is like a lot of kids or people that race in our sport, they start when they're seven or eight years old, and they've been racing since then. I had a late start.

Speaker 1 I only started at 13. Huh.
So I had been racing at 13, raced in Legends cars, won a lot, raced in modifieds, won, raced in late models, I won, got to the truck series at 16.

Speaker 1 And then that's when they were kind of like, okay, 16 is probably a little too young for guys with not this much experience because they probably went back and looked at my history and was like, this kid's kid's only been racing for three years.

Speaker 1 We don't need him out here going 200 miles an hour. Right.
Let's change it to 18. He needs a couple more years.
So it's the Kyle Bush rule. There you go.
That's pretty cool. Yeah.
Now,

Speaker 1 was it even a question that you and your brother Kurt were going to be racers? Because, like, your names, I mean, your name's Kyle Bush. Yeah.
You were a race car driver when you were born.

Speaker 1 Like, that's. No, that's.

Speaker 1 That's predetermined.

Speaker 1 Damn it. I mean, it is, right?

Speaker 1 I'm right. I'm Tall Aragon Knights.
Like, I call that. That's Ricky Bobby.
Ricky is a racer's name. Do you know Bush is a, like, no man.
There's no other profession.

Speaker 1 Ricky Bobby was, that name was inspired by the essence of your name. Is that right? Yeah.
I wish. No, Brexton Bush is for sure a race car driver's name.
But Kyle Bush is the most race car driver name.

Speaker 1 I mean, could you imagine, like, hey, this is my friend Kyle Bush? He's an architect. Yeah, Bobby Bush.
You know, that's ridiculous. Bobby Bush is driving a car.
Didn't they call you Shrub?

Speaker 1 Shrub's one of my nicknames, yeah. Because you were the little? Because I was the little Bush.
You should have been Landing Street.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could have been that. Your nicknames are Shrub, Wild Thing, the Candyman.
Something. That's bad because that makes me think of Michael Candy, who is a big-time bust in the NBA.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there's Rowdy. Yeah, that's a good one.
That's a pretty good one. Rowdy Piper.
What's your favorite candy?

Speaker 1 Min M's is my favorite. Not Snickers?

Speaker 1 No. So my favorite?

Speaker 1 The Tropical Skittles. Oh, that's a little

Speaker 1 bit beaten path. Yeah, I do like MMs.
Peanut M's. I love peanut M ⁇ Ms.

Speaker 1 My favorite, though, are Krispy. If you ask what's your favorite MM, it's Krispy MMs.
Yeah, I like Krispie. That's the blue? Green.
Green. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blue is

Speaker 1 pretzel. Yep.
And then the blurple one is caramel.

Speaker 1 When they first made the green MM and made it like an attractive MM. Made it the chick?

Speaker 1 Were you uncomfortable by that? Because it made me uncomfortable being

Speaker 1 theoretically attracted to a piece of candy.

Speaker 1 When they sexualized, they sexualized the image.

Speaker 1 No, so I actually kind of

Speaker 1 resemble a little bit of the character Red. So he's kind of like a little bit rough.
He's

Speaker 1 a little bit rowdy, maybe, kind of, but a little jerkish sometimes. But then he's soft and sweet on the inside.
Wait, are you jerkish? Yeah, yeah. People say you're a jerk.
Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 Are you the most hated guy on the tour?

Speaker 1 That's arguable. Okay, I'll give you another name.
Yeah. Joey Lugano.
Right. We hate him.
Okay. We have a huge rivalry with him.
He blocks me on Twitter.

Speaker 1 We should have actually started the show with this. We are Denny Hamlin guys through and through.
Why?

Speaker 1 Because we've had him on a couple times. He's fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't like Denny Jones? You don't like Denny? Denny's my teammate. Interview's over.
Okay. All right.
Good. Good answer.
Denny's the man. Yeah.
Has he dunked on you yet? Denny can't dunk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can. No, he cannot.
Yeah, he's friends with Michael J.

Speaker 1 There is no

Speaker 1 way to do it. Exactly.
Yes. Yes.
No, Denny has not dunked on me. We did play what's that basketball shoot-it game, like the balls roll down the thing, and you shoot it.
Pop a shot. Pop a shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we played that. He kicked my ass.
Yeah, of course he did. He's Denny Hamilton.
He's Denny. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's friends with Michael Jordan. Just wearing the Jumpman logo gives you like 10 extra points.
He called Michael Jordan when we had him on last. Yeah, it was awesome.
He picked up. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. So, Joey's Logano.
Who should we call?

Speaker 1 You want to call Lagano? Oh, we'll call him. Let's talk to Lagano.
He's on Twitter. Let's give him a call.
What's his problem? I don't know. Maybe you said something he didn't like.

Speaker 1 So you don't like him? I don't like a lot of people on Twitter. That's probably my worst thing is ever turning on Twitter.
Okay. Well, we'll have your back now.

Speaker 1 We were actually at the race when you guys fought. Bonnie was very early.
It was early.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to stay for the end. Yeah.
Yeah, I guess

Speaker 1 it turns out we forgot. Yeah.
But that visual. There wasn't enough beer.
That was a problem. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got to go to the snack, Shan. Can we?

Speaker 1 Shan. Can we get that visual of you off the internet? The cut? Which one? On your face? You want to? That's a tough one.

Speaker 1 That's a tough one. Try to scratch it.
No, I'm just saying that was a bad. We get that.
What did he do? Did he scratch you? That was the guy who was following me. He was right there with me.

Speaker 1 He's scratching you. Yeah, he was like, hey, you're bleeding.
And I'm like, I don't fucking care. It's badass right now.
No, it wasn't.

Speaker 1 If you were bleeding out of your nose, your mouth, he was literally in the middle of your forehead. It looked like you got in a fight with a cat.

Speaker 1 Well, I got tackled from behind and pulled down to the ground, and I hit my head on the car. Uh-huh.
Shit. And scratched my head.
Slogano. He would be a scratch.

Speaker 1 What's the deal with Slogano? I know why I hate him, and that's just because I've been told to hate him, and it's fun. But why does everyone else hate him?

Speaker 1 Because he wants to be like this really, really cool,

Speaker 1 everything's always funny, laugh it up, have a good time kind of guy off the track, but then he puts his helmet on and he's a complete dick. Okay,

Speaker 1 whereas you're just a dick all the time. I'm just a dick all the time.
I like that. Yeah, you know how I roll.
What you see is what you get. If I don't like you, I'm not going to talk to you.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 So are there guys on the circuit where you just don't talk to them? Yes. And is he one of them? Yes.
Nice. Good.
Good. And what about Denny you're friends with? Denny, yeah, we're good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. We're good.
Don't ever cross.

Speaker 1 I feel like good is as close as you get to being friends with a competitor. Who's your best friend on the tour? Probably Eric Jones.
Okay. Because he's not good enough to compete against you.
He is.

Speaker 1 He actually beat me in a race. Okay.
Did you let him? No, no, I didn't let him.

Speaker 1 It was the Southern 500 this year, and he was leading, and I actually led much of it, but then he passed us on a pit cycle, and I was chasing him back down, and I got close to him, but I couldn't quite get him, and then I got in the wall, and then the race was over.

Speaker 1 Damn. Do you ever zone out? I do, yeah, yeah.
While you're driving? Uh-huh. Shit.
I actually go faster. Really? Yeah.
Sometimes when I don't pay attention, I'm better.

Speaker 1 Because I would imagine that's a good idea. Because it's just pure talent.
No, it's just pure talent.

Speaker 1 I like that. Yeah, that's what I have.
So even when I'm not paying attention, I'm still going faster. So when you're not thinking about it,

Speaker 1 you get out of your own way a little bit. Sometimes.
Okay. That's right.

Speaker 1 Has there ever been a time where you zone out and you almost get into a crash? You're like, shit, I should probably focus on the road. Yep.
Yeah. That's happened too.

Speaker 1 Does that snap you back real fast? Yeah. I imagine when the car slips, like you get off into the corner and it like it gets loose or slips out from under you.
You're like, oh, shh,

Speaker 1 you don't do that. Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I was just like, have you ever fallen asleep during a race?

Speaker 1 Almost. Well, I did have to have an energy drink during the race because I was so tired of just running in a line because we were all single file.

Speaker 1 That's when you probably back when you were drinking Nas and you had to make the switch to monsters that actually keep you awake. Right.
But yeah, there's something later for that.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know if you know this, PFD, but Kyle Bush is a notorious napper. Really? He naps everywhere.

Speaker 1 You can fall asleep anywhere. There's pictures all over the place of you napping.
That's right.

Speaker 1 You are cocky.

Speaker 1 I like this. I'll fall asleep.
That's right. That's right.
I'll fall asleep right in your fucking face. I'll fall asleep after that monster.

Speaker 1 So, wait, you can just fall asleep just on command? No. What's up?

Speaker 1 It was a late night and an early morning. Okay.
And there was a bit of alcohol involved. Got it.

Speaker 1 So anywhere that I was doing my five or ten minutes of downtime, I was closing my eyes, laying on the sideline, whatever it was. So this was just one day.
Yeah. Like a nap legend started.
Right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yes. But no, I did fall asleep like twice in those situations.
Like I was, there was another guy doing an interview and we stacked up behind him and he still had like five more minutes to go.

Speaker 1 And so I just laid on the floor and

Speaker 1 I zomped out for a second. Okay.
Save that air. Now, when we were talking to Denny, I think the first time he was saying that NASCAR might have an Adderall issue go on.

Speaker 1 Is there any truth to that? I don't know anything about it. Good answer.
You're a bit better than Denny.

Speaker 1 There's so many rumors in our business. It's so stupid.
I can't even keep track.

Speaker 1 What's the most common misconception about NASCAR? And one of those rumors, if you were to say one out loud, so that we could get some clicks off this?

Speaker 1 I don't even know.

Speaker 1 Just like silly season, like drivers going to other teams or drivers getting fired.

Speaker 1 This league, I've been fired three times, and I'm still at my same job. Oh, you mean like people have said that you've been fired? Yeah, people are like, oh, he's getting let go.

Speaker 1 You don't let Kyle Bush go. Yeah, exactly.
So, right.

Speaker 1 Or my sponsors are leaving or whatever.

Speaker 1 What's Joe Gibbs like to work around? He's cool. Joe's really cool.
Yeah, he's a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 He wouldn't be your guys' cup of tea, probably. I don't know.
I know he doesn't cuss. Yeah, no, about the most you get out of him is

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 Shiznizzle or something. Shiznizzle, yeah, motherfree.
He's a big Snoop Dogg guy.

Speaker 1 I want to bring him back. He said ass like once in a meeting.
Oh, really? Yeah, he got mad. What, himself for saying ass? No, no, no, no, no.
He was mad.

Speaker 1 This is back in like 2010 when we were blowing up a lot of motors and stuff like that. And so he got pretty mad at the engine builder and chucked his pencil across the room and

Speaker 1 said

Speaker 1 something about his ass. Yeah, like I'll have your ass? Yeah, basically.

Speaker 1 That is as bad as it gets for Ted Ibs. Yeah, it is.
But no, he's... All right, sorry I laid out a bad Joe's story.
So the good Joe stories is

Speaker 1 he's an amazing coach, and he's worked with a lot of of great players in the NFL and a lot of great personalities over there.

Speaker 1 He's won three Super Bowls and now he's over here in NASCAR and he's had to work with me

Speaker 1 which has been fun. We both respect one another a tremendous amount and I think that's why we get along so well and we have each other's back and then

Speaker 1 now he's gotten me to two championships and that's his fifth, is that right? Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Two with Tony, two with me and one with Bobby? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So knowing that he won three Super Bowls with three different quarterbacks, three different running backs, and he's won five NASCAR titles with three different drivers, do you feel like you're a system driver?

Speaker 1 Am I a system driver? Yeah, plug him in.

Speaker 1 I chose the guy with the secret sauce.

Speaker 1 Plug him behind the wheels.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I don't know. No,

Speaker 1 no. I don't think you guys.
Fast on your own. Yeah.
What's your favorite track? Bristol. I like that.
That's the one in Tennessee. Bristol, Tennessee.
Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 1 Because that's the short track. Yeah, it's a half mile.

Speaker 1 Why don't they do more road courses?

Speaker 1 Road courses are okay. It just kind of depends on where we are.

Speaker 1 Like, if you go to a street course or something like that, which the Roville is almost kind of like a street course because it's so slow, the corners are so tight and the track is so narrow that

Speaker 1 when you go through the infield section of it, it's pretty slow. And there's just not a lot of grip.
Like, our cars,

Speaker 1 they don't have a lot of down force. Like, we have more down force than we used to have, but still, like, sports cars and stuff like that, they have tons of down force, right?

Speaker 1 So you can really haul butt around the course.

Speaker 1 And those cars are light and nimble and fun to drive. And our cars are fucking boats, man.
They're like tanks. Right.

Speaker 1 You know, they don't change directions very quick, and they don't accelerate and stop very good.

Speaker 1 So it's just, I guess, looking at your perspective, that's probably a good thing about our cars on road courses because we just run into each other a lot. Yeah.
I just always see road courses.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that's kind of cool. Yeah, it's fun.
Now, don't get me wrong, I think we need to have the amount that we have. It just depends on which ones they are.
How many are there?

Speaker 1 How many races are there? 38 total. 36 points races.
Wow. That's a lot.
So, what are the other two? Just for for fun? Just for fun. Preseason?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's one in the preseason that's kind of like a warm-up: like, hey, everybody, NASCAR's back. Make sure you tune in for the Daytona 500 next week.

Speaker 1 And then there's the All-Star race in May that all the winners, the people that have won races from the year before and that year that you're in, get to race each other.

Speaker 1 I love that there's an all-star game. Yeah, there's an all-star game.
But do they let people vote as well to make sure that some fan favorites get into? Yes. They do.
Do you fan favorite?

Speaker 1 Yes. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like the idea.

Speaker 1 In your fantasy football league, the people that you play against would, they would say that you're a fan favorite, but everybody outside of their family. Yeah, like my circle.

Speaker 1 People like me in my circle, which is why they're in my circle.

Speaker 1 People outside of my circle, they can F you. Are we in it? No?

Speaker 1 Are you in your circle? We're in Denny's circle. For like the next five minutes.
Damn. You're like Shooter McGavin.
You're like the Shooter McGavin. I like the cockiness.
I feel like it's awesome.

Speaker 1 He was successful. He was, yeah, but no, I like the main characters of movies, so I'm Adam Sandler in there.
Okay, okay. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you go ahead, you determine your starring.

Speaker 1 I'm happy to go more. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I love to compare eras in any sport. So if you were to take Richard Petty and put him in your car, how does he do?

Speaker 1 That is so hard to do, man.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I would like to think that he would do good because he's the biggest name of our sport and obviously kicked everybody's butt back in the 60s, 70s, and 80s.

Speaker 1 But once he got into the 90s, he won his last race in 84, right?

Speaker 1 84, he won his last race. And then he raced until 1992.
He didn't win a race from 84 to 92, and then he retired.

Speaker 1 You know, so how old was he, though? He was in his 40s, upper 40s, 50s when he got out. So, I mean, I think he just passed his prime, right? And just kept digging for whatever.

Speaker 1 But he probably should have retired a few years earlier than he did. How many years do you have left? Probably 10.
How old are you? 34. How did you win your birthday? May.

Speaker 1 1985? Yeah. Nice.
You're

Speaker 1 almost birthday week. Yeah.
Oh, right on. When's your birthday? January 31st.
I'm a little older than him. Yeah, you can probably tell.

Speaker 1 I'm way more handsome in my face, fewer lines of my life. 1985.
Shout out. Great year.
Shout out, 85. 85 Bears.
Yeah, legends everywhere. That's right.
Right.

Speaker 1 You had Daryl Waltrip who won the NASCAR championship that year.

Speaker 1 Who could forget? I was going to forget.

Speaker 1 Who won the MLB? That would be. Don't look it up.

Speaker 1 I'm not looking it up. The Royals.
Hell if I know. I'm asking.
Maybe I don't know. Nobody knows.
I think it might have been the Cardinals versus the Royals. I don't know.

Speaker 1 All right, I got one last question. See, Geek question, promo code take.
You like that? Another sponsor. There you go.
Promo code take $10 off. Go to a NASCAR event.
$10 off.

Speaker 1 What is the worst crash you've been in?

Speaker 1 2015 Xfinity Series race at Daytona right before the start of the NASCAR season where I broke my right leg, double...

Speaker 1 double compound fracture of my right leg and then Louis Frank break of my left foot just a mid-foot break of my left foot And when you were in the crash,

Speaker 1 do you have a moment when you crash where you're like, oh, fuck, this is bad?

Speaker 1 Yeah, as I was spinning towards the infield, there was an infield wall that was just concrete, didn't have any protective barrier on it like we have around the outside, but now the tracks have fixed the inside because of me.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's another cowbush rule? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, no, no, there's way more, dude.
We can go on forever if cowboy rules. Okay.

Speaker 1 But the, yeah. So, anyways,

Speaker 1 as my car was spinning towards that inside wall, Normally when you spin the side force of the car is like it'll start to change direction and it's like a rudder like it'll it'll turn It never did like it just kept sliding and sliding and sliding and I was going kind of forward too and so I hit this wall head-on it was at 90 miles an hour.

Speaker 1 It was 90 G's

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 So it's 90 times the force of gravity, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just wanted to flex that I knew what that meant.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's impressive for that long hair.

Speaker 1 So the like the front of the car just compressed and squished and came back towards me. The motor, like it hit my foot and the brake pedal broke my foot.

Speaker 1 And so,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 I was oh shitting myself in that moment.

Speaker 1 And when I hit and then the car bounced off the wall and then finally came to a stop, like there was a little fire out of the cowl, you know, just where the gas spilled over and

Speaker 1 whatever. And so I was like, oh shit, now I'm on fire.
Now I got to get out of this thing. And I could feel my leg.
Like as soon as it happened, like I felt the instant just snap.

Speaker 1 But there was no pain. You're just in shock.
It drew it. Right.

Speaker 1 And so, like, I'd lift my leg a little bit, and, like, my foot falls, and it's not in the same plane anymore. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 oh, shit. Damn.
How the hell am I going to get out of this thing? So I just, you grab with your hands and pull yourself. Did you someone come and pull you out? No, I got all the way to the door.

Speaker 1 Like, I sat out and was sitting on the door when the rescue workers came around. And then I told them, I was like, dude, I broke my leg and I broke my foot.
You got to lift me out of here. Shit.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. And I was about 200 pounds back then, so they had to lift my four-ass shot.

Speaker 1 180. Nice.

Speaker 1 What have you been doing? Working out, man. What do you bench?

Speaker 1 I don't bench. Okay.
You don't? Well, I could tell that about you. Exactly.
Yeah. The Royals was the correct answer, by the way.
Nice. Nice

Speaker 1 Royals job. That was NBA.

Speaker 1 NBA. Let's do NBA.
Let's do one more. Let's do NBA.
What was the Lakers?

Speaker 1 I want to say Lakers. 85?

Speaker 1 That feels like a Lakers. I mean, it was either the Lakers or the Celtics.
The 90s were the Bulls, right? 1985. Lakers.

Speaker 1 I think it was probably the Lakers. How do you know when it's time for you to hang it up as an ASCAR driver? What starts to go? Yes, they were the Lakers.
It was the Lakers. 1985.
Gotcha. Cool.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's going to tell me to hang it up.

Speaker 1 I think, you know, if the drive, if the fire isn't there anymore, like if you don't wake up in the morning just breathing, smelling everything racing, then I think that's kind of about your cue.

Speaker 1 And I think the adrenaline rush, too, like getting in the car, racing, being able to go around there and fighting these things for four hours at a time, if that gets stale and boring and you're slow, then I think it's time to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you, it sounds like you are nowhere near that. You're at the peak.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I would like to think I got a few more years left in me and definitely a few more championships. Yeah, how many, let's do a guarantee.
How many more?

Speaker 1 I could take a shit in a box and labeled it guarantee, but all you got is a guaranteed piece of shit. Oh, that's a good saying.
So four, four, four more?

Speaker 1 That would be sweet. Yeah, four more would be good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, six times. I know, I know.
And 100 wins.

Speaker 1 you got to get rings yeah you guys should get rings we do get rings oh you get rings yeah you should wear them i have one at home i didn't wear it i i thought about bringing it but uh i didn't bring it who makes it joe jostens no does joe like pay forward no nascar pay oh okay yeah yeah yeah nascar pays for that okay well and they gotta pay for something the troph the trophy's awesome by the way it is it is that thing is so cool yeah it could fit i don't know like a keg i haven't seen it you put his whole son in it it's just it's a giant cup it's a yeah it's a huge trophy

Speaker 1 it's kind of it's got a base and comes up kind of skinny, and then it's got the cup at the top with all the racetracks kind of engraved in it all the way around and stuff.

Speaker 1 Is that yours for life or do you have to give it back? Look up NASCAR Cup Trophy. I'm on it right now.
It's a big one.

Speaker 1 Do we get to keep it? Yeah, you got to keep it.

Speaker 1 Look at that thing. Yeah, it's like three, three and a half feet tall.
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's really, really cool.
So I have the old trophy. I have a great mad dogs in there.

Speaker 1 The Sprint Cup trophy was like two checker flags that kind of came off of it. So I have the last one of those, and then I have the last one of the Marshalls.

Speaker 1 Astrix one? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, thank you. And then I have the last one of this one, the Monster Energy one.
I can tell it bothers you.

Speaker 1 I read the quote where you kind of had some fun with it after you won this one. Yeah, all I can say is F those Effers.
Yes. F those effers.

Speaker 1 Put that on a fucking shirt. I will.
F those effers. Do you want to try to call it Jory real quick? Yeah.
I could try.

Speaker 1 No way he'd pick up. He probably won't with me, but.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he'll be like, why the hell are you calling me? Yeah, he'd be like, why the fuck is Kyle calling me? He's going gonna send me to voicemail. Oh, that's what I'll do.

Speaker 1 Do you know what you're gonna say?

Speaker 1 I'll say, No, no, can you block him? Does he know who you are? I mean, he blocked me. Maybe you were a DICK type.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, I did call him like a bitch, and I think we'll just say that he's see, that's not nice. No, I know, but I'm gonna try to bury the hatchet because

Speaker 1 you want to bury the hatchet. Yeah, let's bury the hatchet.
Don't block me. You wanna, you wanna.
All right, so you're not gonna talk smack about that. No, I'm not gonna talk smack.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna ask him if he can, we can bury the hatchet, although I am a Denny guy. I'm a denny guy.
All right.

Speaker 1 Hello? Joey.

Speaker 1 Yo. Hey, man, what's up? Not much.
Congratulations. Well, I do appreciate that.
Thank you very much, sir.

Speaker 1 Would you mind trading me years in which we won?

Speaker 1 Trading you years in which we won. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Well, I like the number 18 a lot better than I like 19.

Speaker 1 I don't care as long as I got one. I don't really care.
Okay, maybe we'll trade trophies.

Speaker 1 All right. There you go.
Hey, so I'm here with some friends of Denny, and they kind of wanted to talk to you for a second. Do you mind? Sure.

Speaker 1 Joey, it's Big Cat from Barstool. You blocked me on Twitter, and I wanted to bury the hatchet.

Speaker 1 I'm a Denny guy. Through and through.
I probably said some things, but I wanted to apologize, be the bigger man, and say, let's bury that hatchet and, you know, let bygones be bygones. Sure.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're going to start running your big mouth, right? No, you do know. You know who you noticed it, didn't you?

Speaker 1 What was that? You noticed me chirping you.

Speaker 1 I probably went over the line.

Speaker 1 Well, you weren't the only one. Yeah, well.
We all have our haters, right? Yeah, we rep.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 we can change the narrative. We won't.

Speaker 1 Here's what we'll do is I will not say... The only thing I, can I keep saying Slogano? Am I allowed to say that still?

Speaker 1 I don't really like that one. Fuck.
Okay, how about this? How about this? We won't say say Slogano anymore. Hold on.
Say that again, Joey.

Speaker 1 I feel like I've earned the right for you not to call me that. Okay,

Speaker 1 he is fast. He's fast.
We won't call you Slogano anymore, but can we call you Slowy Logano? I don't like that one either. All right, man.

Speaker 1 Can you give him one that you do like?

Speaker 1 This name, Joey Logano, is pretty good. I kind of like that one.

Speaker 1 Do you like sliced bread with avocado? Champion, Joey Logano? Ah, no. See, this might,

Speaker 1 we might have to walk away from the negotiation table here. This might not work out.
Former NASCAR champion,

Speaker 1 Joey Logano.

Speaker 1 All right, fine. You know what? Keep me blocked, and we'll be just Denny guys forever.
Okay? All right, that sounds like a good plan. All right, thanks, Joey.
Appreciate it, man.

Speaker 1 All right, that seems like this relationship has really cue itself right into the right areas. So, uh, we tried.
I think we tried. I think we all know where we stand.

Speaker 1 We're all friends. We live on this earth together.
We might as well be friends. Yeah.
Hey, if you're calling me all this, what are you calling Kyle Bush?

Speaker 1 Well, we didn't really know that Kyle Bush was a jerk, but he at least admits he's a jerk, so he's a jerk. He's a jerk.

Speaker 1 I'm calling him Kyle Landingstrip.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, you know how my nickname, one of them, was Shrub?

Speaker 1 Yeah, huh. Right? So, here, what'd you say? I'm calling him Kyle Landingstrip now.

Speaker 1 Jeez. Yeah.
That's pretty good, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's pretty good. We're just guys talking bounce, that's all.

Speaker 1 It's like the peach fuzz on his face. You ought to see it.
Yeah, it's pretty bad. Man, it's pretty bad.
All right. Well, Joey, thanks for at least trying.
We tried. Hey, we tried.

Speaker 1 There's nothing we can do. We'll just walk away.
We'll shake hands over the phone, and we'll say, hey, we tried to make this work. It didn't work.

Speaker 1 You know, hopefully we'll see each other sometime. Yeah, it was a half-assed effort, but I'll give it to you.
Agreed. All right.
Agreed.

Speaker 1 Sorry to bother you in your offseason. I hope you have some time to get away and enjoy.
All right, enjoy it. See you.
Later.

Speaker 1 I think what happened there is you and Joey have now buried the hatchet.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised he picked up. Yeah.
Yeah. I think you guys are tighter than you realize.
You guys are not. He's not tighter than you.
He's a nice guy away from the track.

Speaker 1 It's just when you put your helmet on, don't be a complete dick. Yeah.
Don't scratch me. Right.
Right. Like, if you want to scratch me, then we're going to be scrappy.

Speaker 1 I must have said a lot of stuff because he definitely knew who I was. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, all right.

Speaker 1 I'll own the block. I don't care.
I'm a Denny guy. I'm not going to apologize for reference.
You got a guy. You started off really well.
It was going good. I think you ruined it, though.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing. When he takes Joey's Slogano off the table, that's where I walk away.
I cannot.

Speaker 1 There's some things I cannot give up in this life, and calling him Joey Slogano is one of those things. I'm looking at a lot of stuff in our history here.
I'm seeing some blowy Slogano.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's bad. I'm seeing

Speaker 1 some advertisement for watches

Speaker 1 last year. Yeah, he had his own personal brand.
Oh, no,

Speaker 1 that was with CKO. That he was selling, and I said, hey, babe, happy Valentine's Day.
I got us his and hers Joey Logano watches watches. Dash, someone who's never getting laid ever again.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good, though. Yeah, that's a pretty good burn.

Speaker 1 And when you go after his sponsors, it's tough for him to just roll over and take it. You guys aren't right.
Hey, we tried. We tried.

Speaker 1 Hey, Slowy, how's the weather back there? Are you first and fifth and Denny first and fourth?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not much of separation there, Dennis.

Speaker 1 If you're not first, you're last. Hey, Joey, you're a baby.

Speaker 1 Joey Logano won today, puke. That's not mean.
That's not bad. Yeah.
You said that? Yeah. Hey, Joey Slogano, go fuck yourself.

Speaker 1 That's not bad. No,

Speaker 1 that might get you blocked.

Speaker 1 That's just guys being dudes on the track.

Speaker 1 Rubbins racing, right? That's right. Hey, Sloey Slogano at Joey Logano.
You look pretty slow out there. No wonder they call you Slogano.
Bet you don't even have Michael Jordan's number, loser.

Speaker 1 He's slow.

Speaker 1 What are you writing about me?

Speaker 1 I don't think. You haven't popped up on my radar yet.

Speaker 1 Now that you're a champion.

Speaker 1 So's Legano. Yeah, but that's why I was chirping him.
Someone said, fuck Kyle Bush, and I liked that one.

Speaker 1 That's about it so far that I can find.

Speaker 1 Listen. So I'm off your radar.
Unapologetically, Denny Hamlin, guys. I don't know what else we can say.
All right. Yeah.
But thank you very much for stopping by. We appreciate it.
Yeah, that was fun.

Speaker 1 Congrats.

Speaker 1 Send me a sponsorship proposal. Yes.
We'll get on the.

Speaker 1 We actually are on. We're in the rowdy's landing strip.
Okay. And we'll get on the car.
How much? What's the cheat?

Speaker 1 Can we get on the car? I'm going to follow you right now. We can get on the car for like, I don't know, like, maybe like half a Bitcoin? Half a Bitcoin.
Yeah. They even have half Bitcoin?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can. Why would you have half of any? Why do we have change in America anymore? Like pennies? Yes.

Speaker 1 Why can't stuff just be $1, $2, $4?

Speaker 1 Vending machines? You know what I mean? Vending machines. You have to have some

Speaker 1 credit card vending machines.

Speaker 1 Listen, it's today's world. We're not into the 17th century.
What about playing quarters?

Speaker 1 Those are ping-pong balls that you throw into cups. Quarters.
Steer pong, yeah. Yeah, but quarters is a different game.
I don't play that game. It's a great game.
What about Bloody Knuckles? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, uh-uh. You never played Bloody Knuckles? Bloody Foreheads, yeah.

Speaker 1 Scratched by a cat. Scratched by a cat.

Speaker 1 What about saying, keep the chain, you filthy animal? That saying would die, wouldn't it? It would die. That's home alone.
Come on.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Kyle Bush, thank you so much.
Appreciate you stopping by. Congrats again.
I appreciate you.

Speaker 1 I'm not in New York very often, so maybe next time by the phone. Yeah, perfect.
I think this one could have been done by the phone.

Speaker 1 Obviously, we called Joey. We now get the jerk thing.
The jerk thing makes sense. Yeah.
Get out of here, you jerk. Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 That interview with Kyle Bush was brought to you by whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate.

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Now,

Speaker 1 Blue Bombers Shorts Guy, Chris Matthew. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on

Speaker 1 Winnipeg Blue Bombers Super fan, better known as Shorts Guy. It is Chris Matthew calling us from Canada in preparation for the Gray Cup on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Now, Chris, we are a podcast, obviously, based in the U.S. and a big NFL podcast.
Can you explain to us the genesis of Shorts Guy and why this game on Sunday is so important to you.

Speaker 1 Okay, take you back to 2001.

Speaker 1 Winnipeg was playing in the Grey Cup, which is our Super Bowl. And we were playing what was supposed to be a farce inferior team.
We should have beat them, no problem.

Speaker 1 So I'd been out with a couple of guys the night before, and the next day somebody said to me, Well, how long are you going to be wearing shorts? It was a nice November. I was still in them.

Speaker 1 I said, Oh, until the bombers win the Grey Cup.

Speaker 1 The following Sunday, they went out. They got beat by the lesser team.
And I've been waiting for them now to win the Great Cup ever since. Oh, my God.
Okay. So you are a committed shorts guy.

Speaker 1 Was this ever like a bet that was cemented through a handshake, or was it just your word was out there and you're a man of your word?

Speaker 1 The latter. It's just my word.
There was no handshake. There's no I don't have to give anybody anything.
They don't have to pay me. There's nothing.

Speaker 1 It's just I said I would do it, so I'm the one that should have been committed, I think. So you have been wearing shorts,

Speaker 1 rain, sun, winter, snow, zero degrees ever since. So since 2001, you've been wearing shorts.
And I'd have to imagine, I'm not a meteorologist, Winnipeg is pretty cold, is it not? It is.

Speaker 1 In fact, Winnipeg has been known to have the coldest street corner of any major city in the world.

Speaker 1 How many times have you been there?

Speaker 1 Not Not too often, not since the last, or in the last 18 years.

Speaker 1 What is the street corner itself? Portage in Maine.

Speaker 1 Why is it the cold? Is there wind that whips off the street? Oh, yeah, the wind just whistles through there.

Speaker 1 It can be really brutal down there. Okay, so you haven't been there.
You've had to steer clear of certain parts of town. Is there any specific event that you've attended, like a wedding or something?

Speaker 1 I have to assume that you've been invited to some formal occasions that you've shown up in your shorts. Yes, I have gone to a couple of things in a short, in shorts with a jacket and tie.

Speaker 1 But if it's really a formal, formal thing, I get around not wearing pants because I own a kilt. Oh.
Oh, that's smart. But I imagine that's probably not much warmer, is it? Oh, no.

Speaker 1 It's probably even less warm. There's more space for the wind to blow up there.
Dang. All right, so the Blue Bombers.
Now, let's do two things here.

Speaker 1 One is, how many times have they been to the Great Cup since the short spat?

Speaker 1 Twice. And both times just fall flat on the face.
They were in second place. Okay.
And now, were they close? Were any of those games close?

Speaker 1 Well, one was fairly close, and I think we could have won it, but in the game before

Speaker 1 the Grey Cup, our starting quarterback broke his arm.

Speaker 1 Goddamn.

Speaker 1 We had to play the Gray Cup with our backup. Okay.

Speaker 1 And it was still fairly close, but we didn't win that one. And the other one, not so much.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you've been used to this moment where you're on the eve of the Gray Cup and possibly being able to go back to pants. Are you getting your hopes up at all?

Speaker 1 No more than any other time, although I think we have a better chance this year than we have had in the past. We have a really quite a good team this year, and

Speaker 1 in the last couple of games, they've been playing very, very well. So they won two playoff games away from home, which is tough to do up here.
Nice.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we'll see. I mean, I'm not going to be quite as

Speaker 1 firm in my prediction as I was back in 2001 because I might say something else real stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're going to keep you out of the bar.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, okay, so now the other side of it, is the devastation of a loss that much more significant knowing, oh my gosh, I got another winter full of shorts. No.

Speaker 1 No, the devastation would be more the fact that they simply that they've lost. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We've been waiting for them to it it's not like we haven't won before. We have like uh ten Great Cups in our history, uh but it's been since 1990 that we won the Great Cup.

Speaker 1 So wow. So

Speaker 1 that would be the devastation is if we go like thirty years without winning them.

Speaker 1 Do you have a pair of pants ready at the go that you're going to put on the instant that they win? I do.

Speaker 1 And most people would say put the shorts back on because I've dug out an old pair of Zubaz pants. Oh, yeah.
Of course. The hammer pants, the parachute pants.
Yeah, they're pretty ugly.

Speaker 1 Is there a tiny, tiny little bit of you buried deep down inside? I'm not talking about rooting against the blue bombers, but a tiny part of you that would be sad to go back to wearing pants. Well,

Speaker 1 yes, and in fact, I think, I mean, once this is all said and done and I can wear pants, I'm only going to wear them on certain occasions. I'm going to wear my shorts for the most part anyways.

Speaker 1 I really

Speaker 1 found out over 18 years that I enjoy wearing them. I like them.
I love you. Shorts are, yeah, shorts are great too.
I'm wearing my shorts right now. I would wear shorts year-round.

Speaker 1 I guess I don't have the courage that you do, but you're kind of a role model to me.

Speaker 1 Well, a trendsetter, I guess. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. I mean, it is, you are a football guy through and through, being a man of your word.

Speaker 1 Has there been, what was the coldest day or what was the coldest moment where you're like, I this might be this might be enough for me.

Speaker 1 I might have to just throw on some pants'cause this is just well I I guess it was uh I had one like that um

Speaker 1 uh it we have a couple of uh uh shopping centers here and I dropped something off at uh my car off at one and thought I'll just walk across to the other one and it's kind of like wide open parking lot and I think it was probably about

Speaker 1 with wind chill probably about minus thirty.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it was farther than I thought.

Speaker 1 And my shins were just screaming at me. And I thought, you know what? You are a complete, complete, total fool.

Speaker 1 Why are you doing this? But then once I got in and warmed up a little bit, I was fine.

Speaker 1 That's incredible.

Speaker 1 Do you have pairs of shorts that are warmer than other pairs? Because I've I've been thinking about inventing a new product, kind of like hot shorts, shorts that you can wear in the wintertime.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't. Most of them are just regular kind of shorts.
I was thinking of that as well. I thought maybe like fur-lined ones or something would be good, but

Speaker 1 no, they're all just kind of your basic.

Speaker 1 I have like sports shorts, like the basketball ones that I wear, and then I have cargo shorts, and then I have kind of like

Speaker 1 the dressy

Speaker 1 black

Speaker 1 tie affairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In case you're invited to like a gala or a ball. Of course.
That's right. Yeah, yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 my last question, I got to ask, give us your prediction and what you'll do if they lose

Speaker 1 come Sunday in the Grey Cup final.

Speaker 1 Let's see. My prediction, I'm going to say that the Bombers are going to win by four points.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that. All right.
And if they win.

Speaker 1 If they win, I'll probably draw a sober breath on Wednesday. There we go.
Perfect. I love it.
I have one last question for you because you have been getting a lot of media attention.

Speaker 1 And you just said you got another interview on the back of this one. So has the team reached out to you in any capacity to say, hey, maybe we can get you on the sidelines or something like that?

Speaker 1 Because I think that you could be an X Factor for them.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 they have.

Speaker 1 This story came out first time last year. And so last year they brought me to

Speaker 1 one of the games and toured the whole facility and everything. But this year,

Speaker 1 no, but they do know that I exist. There's been some quotes.
The coach has mentioned it and a couple of the players.

Speaker 1 I don't expect them to. Never did.

Speaker 1 And if when this is all said and done, they'd like to do something, well, that would be fine. But if they don't, that's fine, too.
Okay. There you go.
So are you going to be at the game?

Speaker 1 No, it's in Calgary. It's

Speaker 1 about a four-hour flight from here. And I'm not going to sit outside in the cold in my shorts to wait till they win.
Yeah, okay. That's smart.

Speaker 1 It's crazy that it took 18 years for the media to ever catch up to this story and be like, hey, this guy has been wearing shorts for so long. That's so puzzling to me.

Speaker 1 I want your shorts retired after this. I want them in front.
They should raise them up in the stadium and hang them next to the banner. Yes.
Well, I'll see if I can get a pair bronzed for them.

Speaker 1 There we go. That's beautiful.
All right. Well, good luck on Sunday.
We're rooting for you and appreciate your time. And go, what do we say? Go blue bombers? Is there there a saying? Go blue bombers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go blue. All right, go blue.
Go blue. No, I don't do that.
That's Michigan here. Go blue.
I'll say it. Go blue bombers.
Yeah, yeah, throw the bombers in. Nobody wants Michigan to win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. Get bombed.
Yeah. I'm a Buckeye fan on this end.
Oh, wow. All right, so you wait.
That just changed everything. You have success all the time.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 unfortunately, I didn't say until Ohio wins something or until the Buckeyes win something.

Speaker 1 That would have been a smarter play. That was a curveball at the end of the interview.
Here I was feeling bad that you haven't won a championship since 1990 and you're a Buckeyes fan.

Speaker 1 Man, I don't like you anymore, Chris. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 All right. Good luck on Sunday.
We appreciate your time. All right.
Thank you very much. All right.
Bye.

Speaker 1 That interview is brought to you by.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments, finish up our Friday show.

Speaker 1 We'll start with some Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 Henry?

Speaker 1 You got this. You got it, Hank? You got this.
What do I have? The Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 What's your Fire Fest of the week? You got this, bro. Is there one I'm missing that I'm not? No.
Why are you saying it that way? Because you have to do this.

Speaker 1 We want to support you in your quest to become not shitty at Fire Fest. Yeah.
Well, Daniel, me and you after this show are driving to Rough and Rowdy in Providence immediately after the show.

Speaker 1 I'm going to home for the weekend, and I needed to pack clothes.

Speaker 1 Yep, I'm taking a vacation. Won't be here inside.
I packed my suitcase for my vacation. Wait, I just realized something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Cowboys are going to win because Hank's not going to be here.

Speaker 1 That's fine. That's whatever luck right here.
The only reason the Cowboys are going to win is because Hank won't be here on Sunday. You should factor that into your picks.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But I packed my suitcase, came to work, and then I realized that I left it at home, had to rush home. It was just an unnecessary disaster.
Fire Fest. Fire Fest.
Just running around, ruined my day.

Speaker 1 I hate this segment every week. That's it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it. Like, you know, when you're on the train and you're, I was on the train and I was like,

Speaker 1 I was like, all right, I'm going home for the week. And I was like, oh, wow.
That's bad. Yeah, I should probably have my suitcase with me.

Speaker 1 Yep, that's bad. Yeah, it was, it was bad.
That sounds really bad, rough and rowdy tonight, though. Tune in, yeah, tune in, rough and rowdy 10, Providence, Rhode Island.
Big cat's gonna sing the

Speaker 1 Canadian national anthem. Oh, yeah, yeah, don't know it.
What is it? What is it? Oh, Canada. That's it.
Come on, that's it. That's all.

Speaker 1 Fruitful, syrup, story, home of men and shorts.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping people just boo it so much that I don't have to actually sing it.

Speaker 1 That would be incredibly disrespectful, but also very respectful of your time. Correct.
Actually, it'd be the most respectful because they don't want you to screw it up in front of everybody.

Speaker 1 So they're going to boo it. So if you were listening to this and you were going to be in Providence tonight for Rough and Rowdy, feel free to boo it.

Speaker 1 And then I'm going to do the national anthem, the real one, after. Cheer that.
Okay, my Fire Fest of the week is

Speaker 1 I think we have birds nesting in our ceiling. So in last Sunday's taping of part of my take, before we taped it, that makes me feel much better.

Speaker 1 There was a lot of chirping going on directly above us. We were the only ones in the office.
There's nobody else here. We think it might be a vent issue.

Speaker 1 But it sounds like birds are nesting up. Well, I spoke to Pete, and

Speaker 1 he says it's not birds, but that's exactly what I'd expect him to say. Yeah.
To keep us away from knowing that there are birds above us.

Speaker 1 That would be the ultimate if we had a family of pigeons living right above us. Also, anti-Firefest, this bench press, we've been talking about it for probably, I mean, we're today

Speaker 1 finally showed up today. The moment

Speaker 1 after me dealing with this guy at Mobel, shout out to Mobel. They sent us a bench press.
It's awesome. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 But after months and months of, well, first PFT was doing it, then I had to take it from PFT, and then it's just been a long Firefest process, and our long national nightmare is over.

Speaker 1 PFT, the one that you ordered, do you think that's going to show up? I think that is the same one. Oh, okay.
It's the very same. Yeah, it's just.
Well,

Speaker 1 I got in contact with the guy. He's like, yeah, I think we talked to PFT a while ago.
I'll put it this way.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, well, the bench press is being shipped more efficiently to us than a single recurring guest t-shirt is being shipped to our guests.

Speaker 1 The best was every few weeks, PFT would be like, hey, Liam, did you send that design to the bench press people? And he'd be like, yeah, like two months ago. And then it just comes out.

Speaker 1 But it's coming. It's coming.
So, Gaines. It's here.
Yeah. It's here.
But it's literally here. It's in the studio.
Okay. It'll be in the studio after Thanksgiving.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest is I have some kind of side ailment that I don't really know what it is, but I was in excruciating pain this morning, so much so that Hank caught me in the studio doing my four-legged gas trick.

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 I was coming in because I got into work and it was like I got a note, like someone texted me and was like, yo, your bench press showed up, like it's here.

Speaker 1 So when I got into work, I came into the studio to see if that's where they dropped it off. I was on a door was shut, but I knew that no one was around.

Speaker 1 So I opened the door and Big Cat was just like awful towers on the floor. Trying to do whatever stretch fuck.

Speaker 1 I thought you were doing push-ups. I was like, dude, you're getting a quick pump before the yak.

Speaker 1 It literally just, I just woke up and I had this sharp pain in my side, and I thought maybe it was a kidney stone, a gallbladder. I did what everyone always does whenever they have a pain like this.

Speaker 1 I went on

Speaker 1 the national radio show, and they just had people call in and tell me what I had. Okay, which is very

Speaker 1 appendicitis. Yeah, maybe.
That's actually one of the things. Gallbladder, appendicitis,

Speaker 1 just straight up death,

Speaker 1 broken rib,

Speaker 1 back injury. I actually have self-diagnosis.
I just, I went four days in a row eating chili. What if you ate so much chili that you broke your rib? Yeah, I think I have

Speaker 1 like a bean lodged in my rib. Uh-huh.
And so Maryland Manson surgery.

Speaker 1 The pain was bad, but the real pain was Hank walking in being like, what are you doing? And I was like, nothing. It's a bizarre thing.
Do you think that doing toe touches will just make you fart?

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 it's just getting in the position of a dog and just kind of just laying down like laying if i had a hot rock i would have iguaned it and just laid on the hot rock well that sounds like a better plan anyways yeah i would but i don't have a hot rock my dog when he farts i've noticed that he'll be asleep just on his side with all fours just spread out in front of him so can i try that and yeah try that he actually roy actually woke me up with a fart yesterday he didn't wake up but he woke me up yeah with a nice long toot so i gotta lay on my side like leroy okay purpose yeah um all right it would be great content if you had a kidney stone though

Speaker 1 No, don't wish that on me. I'm just saying it's content-wise.

Speaker 1 I've read up on it, and it sounds terrible. Terrible, terrible to me.
Dick Fangio is coaching with one. He's doing a great job.
No, I don't want that. I don't want that.
Don't wish that evil on me.

Speaker 1 Imagine that kidney stone hung up behind you, though. I'd put it on a necklace for sure.
Oh, yeah. 100%.
Wear that shit every single day. Maybe a pinky ring with my kidney stone.
That's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 That would be nice.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do a couple segments.
Michael Wilbon name drop. Probably the pinnacle Michael Wilbon name drop.
He golfed with Obama once, but he said that Luka Donchich

Speaker 1 might be the best player in the NBA. Or no, what was the exact quote? I think the quote, they were talking about he is the next Michael Jordan.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Wilbon said, Michael's going to call me about this one. Uh-huh.
Might get a call. He's like, oh, no, I'm going to get a call.

Speaker 1 The funny thing about this one is, and this is the perfect Michael Wilbon name drop, but I could actually see Michael Jordan calling Wilbon for even thinking that. He's like, are you high?

Speaker 1 That would be the ultimate. That's the only reason I think Michael Jordan gets people's phone numbers is just in case so he can berate them for not respecting him enough.
Right. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 If Michael Jordan asks you for your phone number, it's because he thinks you're capable of sleeping on him at some point. Yeah, at some point you're going to say someone else might be better than him.

Speaker 1 And he wants to be able to speed dial. He probably is a speed dial guy.
When was the last time you think Michael Jordan just called somebody? Was like, hey, man, you want to chat?

Speaker 1 Probably never. Denny Hamlin.
That's it. Yeah.
Bookie.

Speaker 1 Come on, Hank. No, that's not the chat.
That's business. Come on, Hank.
He'll call us. He's so competitive.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, but if you're trying to get like a rollover, like a, you know, Michael Freddy's trying to get a rollover. Yeah.
Well, it could be. Yeah.

Speaker 1 His rollover is just take a year off, mysteriously. No, I'm going to go play baseball.
I don't like where this is going. All right.
Oh, Hank.

Speaker 1 You might have. Michael's going to call us about this one.
This live. Wow.
Hank actually might get this first half over in the Duke game. It's 64, not 62.
Oh, you idiot. Okay.
Never mind.

Speaker 1 PFD, you have a read a headline. Let's read a headline.
Yeah, let's suggest just us reading a headline.

Speaker 1 From TMZ, caught on video. A doctor spent 37 minutes sucking urine out of the man's bladder and spinning it into an empty wine bottle during an international flight.
Mm.

Speaker 1 That sentence just gets worse and worse and worse as it goes on. Do you know what's funny is that? So when I was diagnosing myself with gallbladder.
Do you want me to suck piss out of you?

Speaker 1 Well, I threw this out there because that one, look, you're not going to have to suck a kidney stone out of me.

Speaker 1 But hypothetical, if we were walking in the desert and a snake bit me in the penis would you save my life by sucking the venom out sideways what do you mean sideways like you just the shaft like no yeah the shaft like it's a harmonica yeah yeah yeah harmonica style okay you would uh not popsicle but you would yeah all right thank you yeah but i would do that this guy's being disturbed right so if that ever happens shout out mike posner posner who got bit by a snake and that was the only reason people even cared that he walked across the country on his dick no on his foot oh but it was really sad because he was walking across the country for six months and no one cared until he almost died.

Speaker 1 I got bit on my ween.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that's a hell of a headline. That doctor needs...
Can you win Doctor of the Year? Yeah, there's a Doctor of the Year.

Speaker 1 It's found in any number of in-flight magazines that I think you just pay your way into. Next week, we should best steakhouse in Houston.
We should do that, actually.

Speaker 1 Just like take pictures of ourselves in lab coats and just submit them to the Doctor of the Year. I think you just have to pay him like five grand.
That'd be fine.

Speaker 1 And we'll be Spirit Airlines Doctors of the Year. Actually, we are giving Triggs a lot of stuff to do, but we should start putting up fake diplomas.
Well, we can, remember, we looked into that.

Speaker 1 We can just buy a diploma

Speaker 1 from an accredited school in like Belgrade. Oh, no, but I'm saying, like, we all went to Harvard and Yale and everything, like, just a wall.
Just shame the fuck out of everybody.

Speaker 1 Got diplomas, and they walk in there and say, These guys are titans of the industry. Yeah, it would lead to some very confused guesses.
And it's literally just us having Triggs make them for us.

Speaker 1 I have a JD from Trump University. Yep.
Liberty. Nice.
Yeah. Pretty good, right? Journalism School.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Wait, you had an idea. No, wait,

Speaker 1 we already did your Redskins idea. Let's do FAQs.
Finish up with FAQs. Hank, why don't you get us going?

Speaker 1 This guy was suggesting, talking about your back problems. He said, I think it can be sciatia.
Have you used sciatica? Sciatica. Yeah, Attica.
Shade of the old obgen.

Speaker 1 No, there is an issue with the back.

Speaker 1 Like that one, the obgen was a, like, that was O-B-G-Y-N. This one, like, you know, the vagina, but Hank, you have a back.
Sciatica. Yeah.
Sciatica. Sciatica.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 What does that mean?

Speaker 1 It's a nerve that goes down your spine and it goes into your leg. And so if you have back problems, it can like just straight up debilitate you.

Speaker 1 What I actually do have, and this is a medical condition, it's called dad back. And I've just had to lift my son in very awkward positions.

Speaker 1 And it's now getting to the point, like, you know, he's like 15, 16 pounds, and I've hurt myself just being like, oh, I just picked up my son. So that sucks.
So stop spending time with your son. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And and then your back paint. It's hazardous to my health.

Speaker 1 PFT, did John Kuhn bring too much awareness to the low man trophy by mentioning it in a tweet that went viral on Thursday?

Speaker 1 I actually just got done texting John, you know, not to

Speaker 1 Mike Wilburn, yeah?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he said that he put that tweet up because he was getting a lot of heat online because he dared to post a Mason Ramsey Miles Garrett take.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry, Mason Ramsey. You're doing that on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, has he still been shave your mustache? I haven't posted since. Yeah, he scared you off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think, you know, it's not a very fullback move to get all those retweets.

Speaker 1 He should actually, if he was a true fullback, he would be blocking too much of the internet to ever get that many retweets and likes. True.
True. Low man trophy coming soon.
That's right.

Speaker 1 The week before Heisman. Or the week after.
The week after Heisman before. We're going to cuck the Heisman.

Speaker 1 As we always do.

Speaker 1 What are your Peloton handles? There are several fake PFTs, and I want to make sure I'm following the real Low Man. I'm on PFT Commenter.
And I'm also PFT commenter. Yeah, Big Cat's also.

Speaker 1 So we share a handle. We share everything.
So anytime you see a record, it was probably mine. Uh-huh.
That's true.

Speaker 1 But I might make the Genesis halftime show on Monday Night Football a recurring thing. That was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 But listening to it in retrospect, listening to my heavy breathing while answering the questions, I did that radio hit on Pittsburgh on DVE with our guys, and they played me back some of the me quacking at

Speaker 1 Duck because Duck joined the Instagram Live, and just hearing that audio back is extremely inappropriate. Yeah, you should, I mean,

Speaker 1 I would be honored to be a guest at some point

Speaker 1 whenever you'd have me, but I'll just eat chili while you'll hop on. Peloton should make a tandem bike, like a two-person bike

Speaker 1 where the person on the back just so good.

Speaker 1 All right, three more flushing etiquette questions. First one's a flushing etiquette question.
Okay. If your peers, if your P is clear, but you're in someone else's home, do you flush?

Speaker 1 At which darkness of yellow do you go from leave it to a must-flush at your own place?

Speaker 1 At my own place, pretty much like nothing.

Speaker 1 I'll keep anything in there flush-wise. Let it mellow.
Yeah, but at another person's house, it really has to be they can't tell the difference. I think any shade of yellow whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Even bubbles. Bubbles count.
Also, if the bathroom is close enough to the couch area or the communal area, I like to flush as I'm ending my pee.

Speaker 1 That way I can let out a nice juicy fart at the end of it. Yeah.
The flush covers it up. Do you ever try and time your pee to finish as you're flushing?

Speaker 1 But then what happens when you go over? Any leftovers, roll over minutes. Roll over minutes, you just let those.
You don't do a double flush on a pee. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then that defeats the whole purpose because you're leaving pee in the toilet. Yeah, that's fine.
I'm trying to save the environment. I pee in syncs, so

Speaker 1 this is the real winner. Cart corral etiquette.
We don't have to deal with this as New Yorkers.

Speaker 1 After unloading your groceries into your vehicle, what is the maximum distance you'll go to walk your cart into the cart corral?

Speaker 1 No, okay, so here's the rule.

Speaker 1 First of all, you should do everything you can to at least get it to where all the carts are. But if it is a very large distance, you just need to make sure it's linked up to at least two other carts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So if there's two other stray carts in a spot, you can just, you're starting your own snake.
Yeah. So that's really the rule, as far as I go.
That counts as docking it. Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 So not one. One is now it's just a lonesome pair.

Speaker 1 it needs to be two others and then you're like well someone had the idea here of starting a new snake i'll add to it i like that another option would be uh i like to find somebody that's on their way in and be like hey i got a cart for you and they're like no psycho i'm just gonna get my own cart inside i don't want your dirty user cart

Speaker 1 or what i like to do sometimes is if i get within maybe 20 yards of the docking station i'll just give it a shove and i'll just push it real far nice and hope that it goes in and if it doesn't i already have walked away and i already did the swaggy pee like threes in the air.

Speaker 1 Right. And behind me, it's bouncing off the side.
Yes, absolutely. All right, last one.
I volunteered to help a friend coach his son's Pee Wee team, age 14.

Speaker 1 There are two weeks left in the season, and I was curious: at what point does it become acceptable to tell a kid on the team who thinks he's the best player that he's actually not good at all?

Speaker 1 Or is that out of bounds? I think you leave that up to his stepdad. That's a stepdad's job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wait, how old? 14.

Speaker 1 14-year-old's kid.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 once kids hit puberty, you can start softly saying, hey, maybe this isn't for you. No, this kid, this is a cocky kid.
Oh.

Speaker 1 This kid is like the cocky cock of the walk on the team. Oh, yeah.
He wants to be like, yo, you suck. Team up.
Are we talking about football or basketball or what?

Speaker 1 I mean, the season's coming to the end. It's got to be football.
Maybe soccer. Yeah.
Maybe you recommend that the kid switch as a kicker. Tell the ref to kick him out.
Honestly. Like, that's annoying.

Speaker 1 Like, kick him out of a game and give him a little humble pie. Oh, so not even like direct face-to-face.
Yeah, Yeah, no, passive-aggressively do it. Yeah, for sure.
Or what you can do. This is...

Speaker 1 Not even helping him. No, no, don't help him at all.
Just for your own satisfaction to watch him cry as he gets kicked out.

Speaker 1 This is maybe a solution where you can kind of have the other kids tell it to him. At the end of the year ceremony, have the team vote on an MVP.

Speaker 1 And then when he doesn't get it, like Antonio Brown style, then he's going to flip out, force his way off your team. You don't have to deal with him next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that also could be, like, pretty much do anything to make him cry because then if he cries in front of of all of his friends, he's the cry kid and he can't be the best player.

Speaker 1 Like, that just mentally he's done being the alpha in the group. It's true.

Speaker 1 So, so that'll probably years of therapy and all that stuff, and it'll be hanging with him forever, but at least you've done your job.

Speaker 1 That's it, that's it. Okay, uh, Antonio Brown's coming back, by the way.

Speaker 1 Official,

Speaker 1 no, just a hunch you have? Who told you incarcerated Bob? No, I just got sources. Oh, no sources? Is it twitter.com? I get, uh, if Leroy doesn't have it, I'm not going to check it out.

Speaker 1 Leroy is not running with this. And it's in your guy's blood.
What?

Speaker 1 A-B, like, blood type? No, like, my source is your guy's direct relation to you.

Speaker 1 Wait, what? Who's... I have no idea what that means.
Oh, Julian Michaelman said something? Internet thing. Mike Florio said.

Speaker 1 Florio, this is the part of the season where Florio gets a little.

Speaker 1 Sure crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 His takes are just getting out of hand. Yeah, you leave him alone.
I love him. If you leave Mike alone with his takes for too long, he's going to come up with some weird inventions.

Speaker 1 So, I guess what he's reporting: Antonio Brown is gassing up his hot air balloon as we speak. That would be sick if he just flew into Foxborough on that thing.

Speaker 1 Kind of crazy that Antonio Brown was wearing his Raiders helmet in his Instagram video. It is.

Speaker 1 So, he's finally learning what it's like to not get paid for a contract, and he's figured out he doesn't like it.

Speaker 1 He's evolving, right?

Speaker 1 All right, we will see everyone on Monday. Love you guys, Doink and it's in.
That's number three. I'm talking away.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not

Speaker 1 to say I've said anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a mother

Speaker 1 to find you. Shine away.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of drinks.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Sound needless to say.

Speaker 1 All set in. It's about me stumbling away.

Speaker 1 Smelling learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 I used to bet it took me safe, it's rainy. Dream

Speaker 1 on me

Speaker 1 is that you say

Speaker 1 these little eyes

Speaker 1 just play my worries away.

Speaker 1 You are the things I've come to remember. You shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 come

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.