Disgraced NBA Ref Tim Donaghy, Phil Rivers Career May Be Done + The Internet Is Poisoning Our Brains

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have the 15th anniversary of The Malice at the Palace, and we have the guy who was there, who officiated it, Tim Donaghy. You might know him from some other stuff, we talk about all of it uh the entire betting scandal how pissed david stern was how the malice of the palace happened uh we have all that we have um let's say we're gonna put maybe phil river's career six feet under it's kind of over hot seat cool throne guys on chicks it's a wednesday let's do it and part of my take is brought to you by the cash app cash app is the simplest way to send and save money and now it's simplest way to try to grow your money introducing cash app investing unlike investing tools that only let you buy whole shares of a stock cash app lets you purchase slices of shares this way when your favorite company stock is just a little too expensive you can still own a piece with as little as $1.
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Today is Wednesday, November 20th, and Phillip Rivers is done. D-O-N-E done.
D-E-A-D dead. It's over.
His tombstone just says, dag nabbit. Mother freaker, I tried.
That's all it says. Gad it was and he did try oh he tried so Monday Night Football in Mexico which was uh I love the NFL I love the the Peter Kings of the world we talked about on Monday saying that uh Miles Garrett attacking Mason Rudolph was the grossest thing he's ever seen and a harm to players safety.
And then we watched Monday Night Football where they played on a sandbox and anyone could have gotten hurt at any moment because no one could grip. And we're like, hey, this is great.
We're growing the game. It looked like a dog park.
It looks like one of those dog parks that you take your dog to and they're running around and you're like, we should really leave this park now because one of these dogs is going to tear an acl it was turf flying everywhere but player safety player safety first they didn't change the location of this game they didn't maybe last maybe last year they made mexico sign a waiver at the last minute and they're like well no we got to change the location this year it was if the field last year was unplayable i want to know what that looked like right because this one was like FedEx field after it had been carpet bombed. It was so bad.
Uh,

again, If the field last year was unplayable, I want to know what that looked like. Right.
Because this one was like FedEx field after it had been carpet bombed. It was so bad.
A game that was weird. It felt like both teams didn't want to win it.
But at the end, Old Faithful, Phillip Rivers down late with the ball. By the way, did you see that people tried to jump the gun on it? People jumped the gun a little bit.
They started saying it with like seven minutes left. It's like, dude, wait.
We have so much more time here. We have so much more desperate Philip Rivers moments because they had the ball, I think, three times in the fourth quarter.
Yeah, we are definitely Philip Rivers hipsters where we're seeing all these new Philip Rivers fourth quarter come from behind games who are really loving it, and we want to grow the game. So we yes we want you to be part of the Phillip Rivers fourth quarter experience but you have to wait but you have to wait it's like oh you you're a real Phillip Rivers said name three of his backbreaking interceptions it's well he had like he had two of them last night yeah uh yeah or total yeah but two like real backbreakers backbreakers then you have to wait until the until the last real four minutes of the game that's when you in the river sweet spot.
That's when the magic starts to happen. That's when he starts doing things like after an incompletion, he just jumps up in the air and just spazzes out like a grammatica.
That's when he just dives face down onto the ground after an interception. That's when he bats his own pass out of the air.
Throws a ball off a guy's face. That's when the magic happens.
This is the same Philip Rivers that, you remember, this was like two years ago, when we thought for about two hours that Philip actually punched a bird out of the sky. But it looked like a bird.
It turned out that it was just his glove. He stomps.
When he starts stomping and doing the clap and stomp because he can't get the ball snapped. It all was there.

And here's what happened, though, PFT.

Last night was different.

And we've done this many, many times.

It actually was the 61st loss by seven or fewer points as a starting quarterback that he's had.

The most by a starting quarterback in the Super Bowl era.

But last night it happened.

And we all knew it was going to happen.

We even had the little bit

of a curveball where he throws it deep down the field and completes it yeah but last night when all the dust settled or like literally i'm talking about dust because they're playing on dust not grass and phil rivers did the thing where he puts his head back and he takes in that like deep breath and just angry and closes his eyes,

I said to myself, this is sad, and I think it might be over because there's something about it that feels different. It feels like the desperation in Phillip Rivers' face is so sad at this point because there's nothing.
He is the classic guy who still has the brain for it, still can read the defenses and everything. The arm is just not there, and it just can't.
It will never come back, and we're watching him kind of slowly fade away right in front of our eyes, and I love him so much, and it's time to say goodbye. And you know what's crazy? And by that I mean obviously the Broncos should sign him next year oh yeah try to play with his career is not done no no it's done with the Chargers and I'm not prepared to see the end of Philip Rivers in this NFL now I read a stat I forget who tweeted it out so it might be completely incorrect go for it Philip Rivers actually has a winning record in one possession games.
I doubt that. Because last year, I think he went like 6-2 or 7-1 last year in his one possession games.
Oh, actually, no, that would make sense. The only way I can think of to explain that is he's had so many fourth quarter drives where he has been trailing by one possession, where he's thrown a pick six or an interception that's led to an easy six points or three points on the other end, which makes the final score a two possession game.
Yes. So he gets in positions where he is losing by six points or seven points or three points, but he ends up losing by much more than that.
It's just sad. I'm just, I don't want it to be over, but it's over.

This is the year. 2019 will be known as the year that we lost all of the 2004 draft class.
Eli Manning is done. You don't think Eli is coming back after his barn burner of the last game of the season? I think Ben maybe has a chance next year, maybe.
But this might be just hopeful thinking. But it really is sad to watch watch them because the quarterback position is unlike any other position where you become so attached to watching these guys on every Sunday and they become part of your life uh that when you have to say goodbye it's like damn it's it's over like we're not gonna have this guy to laugh at and to laugh with sometimes uh single Sunday.
No, it's done. You know what it's like? These quarterbacks, this modern group of quarterbacks, I'm going to include Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, Romo a little bit into this, but this was like the first age of quarterbacks that really grew up with our internet as we know it right now.
So we developed them into little characters in our mind.

Put them in a box.

Put them in a walking boot sometimes.

But we almost had a relationship with these guys as they were growing up.

And so it's sad to see them evolve out of that.

And we're going to have to replace them with a rebound relationship.

Maybe somebody young and exciting

and who makes me feel all sorts of things like Gardner Minshew. but it has to, we have to, we have to find who our new characters are going to be moving forward.
And it's tough to move on from that. Now I heard, I heard a rumor.
I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I heard a rumor that big Ben, as he's becoming a mountain man, as he's entering his Bon Iver stage where he grows his beard out and moves to an isolated cabin to write his next album. He's, he's growing that beard out until he throws another NFL pass.
Yeah. How great would that be to have Ben show up for training camp next year with just a full bush and he's not going to trim it.
No, it's going to be over his mouth. It's going to be poking through his face mask.
He's not going to, he might actually, this might be the one season that big Ben gets back in shape because he literally cannot eat through the hair. Yeah.
Yeah. Only milk, liquid only diet for Big Ben.
Either way, Phil Rivers, uh, it's the famous saying, don't cry because it's over. Smile because it mother freaking happened.
I do. That's Phil Rivers career.
I've really loved how he's embraced this the last couple of years too, where they're down in the fourth quarter and he just, he has his guys run four verts and, I'm going to throw it up to one of you guys. He runs Madden offense.
I'm going to throw it up to one of you guys. Everyone just go down the field and just throw it as high as you can.
And last night it worked for a second, and then he threw a fucking interception to like a 5'7 guy. That was tough.
He's developed selective blindness. He's developed Jameis Winston eyes, but only for safeties.
But the other side of the ball, let's talk about that real quick. The Chiefs, a little weird.
Tyreek Hill hurt again. Their offense is completely different when he's out.
Andy Reid, like I don't know, that end of the game was just weird. It wasn't weird because Andy Reid not understanding that like, hey, maybe just run clock here.
But Patrick Mahomes, like that one pass, he got leshawn mccoy killed and then he got it tipped again going to the left i don't know what's up like he was just missing some guys that usually he hits that was just a little off maybe it was the altitude i don't know he did look good running the ball he looked really good right that's what i was looking at was his knee seemed fine yeah when he ran i yeah the offense looks out of sync without tyreek that's that's for sure andy Reid, you can forgive some of his play calling because him at altitude, that's the equivalent of if you or I ran a sprinted 800 yards and then had to call a play right after this. Yeah, his brain was not getting enough oxygen towards the end of that game.
The thin air does not comport with Andy's general appearance. I think they showed those oxygen tanks in the locker room at halftime, those huge ones.
That was just for Andy Reid. Both were for Andy Reid.
They should have let Andy Reid coach this game with almost a rocketeer-type backpack of oxygen tanks. The little cart that the smokers shuffle into Walmart.
Give him the cart. Give him the walker with the tennis balls on the front.
And then have the little oxygen mask that goes into his nose. Would have been great.
It would have been awesome theater. I mean, you want to grow the game, maybe look at an older demographic as well, Roger Goodell.
Yeah. Okay.
Let's do some hot seat, cool throw, and then we're going to have Tim Donaghy on talk Malice in the Palace, 15-year anniversary today, and also the fact that he bet on NBA games, and it was a pretty big controversy. Well, yeah, you'll hear this later, but he did not bet on NBA games, but he got paid because other people were, which is totally different.
And you can watch the interview, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, sign up today. It's like Disney Plus for Barstool.
Yeah. Hank.
My hot seat is anyone who actually thought Gronk was coming back to the Patriots. Yes.
Including me. Even though I kind of knew because I assumed the fact that he was promoting it ahead of time that the Patriots would not be cool with him teasing his return.
But regardless, he did a little teaser similar to when he was on this show. It was like, I have a big announcement tomorrow.
Turned out he's just doing a party in Miami and is probably going to be a DJ. We're invited, by the way.
It invited by the way yeah what are we calling that is it is it gronka palooza gronk beach i think alta gronk music festival it's a beach and gronk which will be a great time i'm excited to go to it but he's not coming back to the patriots this year which is sad yeah i feel like we have at least three or four more press releases from the gronks that are like this yeah well. Well, it's kind of your fault, to be honest.
They realized how much buzz they could get with Gronk doing a teaser so that the brands that are now working with him have taken advantage. Well, I like in the video that he put out where it's three Gronks having a debate on what's going to happen.
And eventually the party Gronk wins everybody over. On the table, there were like three monster energy drinks that had been crushed up.

And then there was Gronk's brother's shaker bottle.

Yeah.

That he was also advertising for.

It was a funny ad.

It was a funny video.

I think he should just say, I have a major announcement to make.

And then it just should be him in a bathrobe holding a drink on a diving board and saying cannonball.

Nice.

Like in Anchorman.

Nice.

He's been coming to the same party for the last 20 years.

No way is this depressing.

Thank you. a bathrobe holding a drink on a diving board and saying cannonball.
Nice. Like in Anchorman.
Nice. And come to the same party for the last 20 years.
Yep. No way is this depressing.
Shout out to everyone. Go.
My cool throne is Jeopardy fans. Yeah.
So we're getting a triple, triple threat, all time champions match between Holzhouser. I don't know how you pronounce his last name.
Ken Jennings and Brad Rudder. And when is it happening? I'm not sure.
I think it's happening in January. I guess the more appropriate question is, when is Darren Ravel going to spoil it? They better do this live.
They better do it live. Because Ravel, he loves playing the heel with that shit.
Imagine having to write those questions. There's a lot of pressure.
We don't talk about that in Jeopardy. Like the game show writers are basically playing defense at this point.

That's true.

What about Watson?

When's Watson coming back?

Just have him compete against the competitor.

Who do you have?

I'm going Jeopardy James.

I am too.

I like Jen.

I'm a Jennings guy.

You are?

Yeah.

Interesting.

You soak?

I don't soak.

Is he a soaker?

I don't know.

I think he's from Utah.

Yeah. So everyone from Utah.
I just assumed he soaked. He seems like a guy who soaks.
Interesting. You soak? I don't soak.
Is he a soaker? I don't know. I think he's from Utah.
Yeah, so everyone from Utah. I just assumed he soaked.
He seems like a guy who soaks. Interesting.
But yeah, it's going to be electric. Watch TV.
I like the idea, obviously, very sad with the Alex Trebek's sickness, but I like the idea that whoever wins becomes the new host once Trebek steps down. That's not a bad idea.
I actually wrote about this yesterday. I like Chris Collinsworth becoming the host Jeopardy.
What? But then he's just like, here's a guy. That's your brain high on football.
Here's a guy. It's like, here's your brain.
Here's your brain on drugs. Here's your brain.
Here's your brain not being able to do anything without football. This guy had a dang apple fall on his head and studied gravity.
Al. He ends every question with Al, too.
My other cool throne is now that it's Jamal Crawford, now that Mello got signed, all the NBA players are like, when is he getting signed? When is he getting signed? When is he getting signed? Yeah, he dropped 50-piece. Jamal Crawford could roll out of bed and score 30.
It is crazy that he hasn't been signed. Yes, I agree.
The Bulls could use him. They have the fucking worst offense.
PFT, why don't you go? My hot seat is weed. That's right.
Yeah's right weed is on the hot seat big time because joe biden uh he's running to be commander in chief but he doesn't like weed and he says that it should remain illegal at the federal level level because it's a gateway drug so commander in keef yeah so he just lost the the youth vote commander in not chiefing. Yeah.
So Joe's tripping out because he couldn't handle the new strains of weed that are coming out these days. He probably smoked reefer back in the late 70s.
That's one of those situations where no one in his camp was like, hey, man, people have changed their mind on this thing. You also just don't say it.
Yeah, but this is, this is, this is one of those takes that it just, I just assume he hasn't been paying attention for the last 10 years. I'm getting to a point where it's not even like, would you legalize weed? It's do you ever smoke weed currently? Oh, it's a big question.
And if you say yes, then that's cool. And if you say no, you're a cop.
Oh, I'm, I'm more like, it's's not, do you legalize weed? It's like, when is coke happening?

Yeah.

That's more like it.

Yeah.

Keep it moving.

Yeah.

Keep it going down the line, folks.

And then my other cool throne is, or my other hot seat is meth.

So all kinds of drugs are on the hot seat because South Dakota has a new slogan and

their slogan is meth.

We're on it.

What? Okay. So I saw people on the internet roasting it.
Oh, I don't, I'm not roasting. I think it's probably good.
No, I know, but people were roasting. Well, what happens is it's a South Dakota initiative against, against methamphetamines and the people that are roasting it are New York media people with Adderall habits.
Right. And I also looked at it.
I was like, why are people roasting this? This actually seems pretty effective being like, hey, anyone, any age, any background could be addicted to this. This seems like a powerful message.
And I left being like, fuck the internet. I hate all of you.
Yeah. People were like laughing at South Dakota.
You guys suck. So yeah, I actually agree with you.
I think that it's a good ad campaign ad campaign i mean the pictures of like the cowboys being like i'm on meth it looked like a like a photoshop like snl parody thing i like i agree with i don't know man i think our brains yes they are fucked from the internet like it's worse than the meth it should be if anything it should be uh i'm on the i'm on snark it should be regional where in new york it's sam Darnold doing that Monday Night Football intro where it says out mononucleosis, where he's like out methamphetamine addiction. That would get our attention.
What it should be is it should be like a coffee shop with a hipster and a beanie and a computer, and he's like, I'm on irony poisoning. And like, you don't know what you like anymore, you fucking loser.
I don't even know if I like that idea or if like it ironically ironically right god damn it dude the other i i was i had this as one of my uh hot sequel thrones but this is a perfect i'm just gonna throw this in there the hashtag advice for boomers we're done this is over the boomer thing is done it's too much okay it's gotten too much first reported by me but yeah you did report it but it is like because you know what it is it's one of those classic situations where there are no baby boomers on twitter there's like a few people who write like op-eds in new york times but we're really arguing with no one oh that that is something that's been pissing me off for a long time it's the zears it's like we're not arguing with anyone there there are like seven or eight people that work for like you said the new York Times York Times or the Washington Post. Yes.
Like the Detroit Free Press, Mitch Albom. And I would not know who any of these people are if it wasn't for people our age on the Internet dunking on them.
Roasting them. And being obsessed with their columns and tweeting out fucking screenshots of Thomas Friedman or Brett Michael.
I'm pissed off that I know these guys' names. I don't know anything about them, and I don't want to know anything about them, and I've done a pretty good job at avoiding that.
But, yeah, people's brains are just absolutely fucked. We're just fighting with ourselves.
I clicked on the hashtag advice for boomers, and I was like, this is just people fighting with no one. We are fighting with no one.
We have created straw men all around us, and we're just whacking at it with a machete.'s what's kind of fun that also was no i'm not saying it is fun sometimes but it's just it's it's if you ever take a step back and like have a kind of a big view of the internet you're like this is psychotic yeah the whole thing all the inside jokes i've heard like you ever hear somebody say the words in public not online say the words 30 to 50 feral hogs and then laugh at it it is it makes me just want to kill them i'm like no that's no do not bring this into

the real world this is not something that people talk about yeah all right go with your cool throne

my cool throne is good yeah i feel really good right now yeah uh lying to your kids is on the

cool throne speaking of the internet speaking of the internet so uh lying to your kids is cool

just tweeting out a picture and saying i'm going to tell my kids this is so and so when it's not

Thank you. Lying to your kids is on the cool throne.
Speaking of the internet. Speaking of the internet.
So lying to your kids is cool. Just tweeting out a picture and saying, I'm going to tell my kids this is so-and-so when it's not so-and-so.
It's like me. If I were to do it, I would have a picture of Danny Woodhead and say, I'm going to tell my kids this is God.
Yeah. There you go.
Or a picture of Marlon's man. I'm going to tell my kids this is your grandfather.
I mean, it's a big joke. It was therapy for me because I tweeted.
big joke huge joke yeah grandpapa marlins man you have no idea i i uh it was therapy for me though because i tweeted out mitch and said i'm going to tell my kids that this was a fourth round pick and it was actually a great value taken where he was just make yourself believe that yeah you don't have to make your kid talking about but i'm so there's some truth to it because school, when you think about it, 16 years of just lying to

kids about various things.

Dinosaurs.

16?

Some of us skipped a couple grades.

So I went to college.

I did bad math. I thought you started school when you were one years old.

No, but you start when you're four or five.

17.

Oh, Hank was thinking of doctors.'re four, five. You do start.
Yeah.

Oh, Hank was thinking of doctors.

Yeah.

Dentists, actually.

Two years.

Yeah.

Lying to your kids.

That's going to be good.

Uh-huh.

It's really good.

My other cool throne is guys.

Just guys.

Because it's International Men's Day today.

Hell yeah.

Finally, a day for dudes.

Fuck yes.

I'm going to drink a beer, eat a steak, not express emotions. Yeah yeah uh go to hooters not call my dad just guy stuff fuck yeah do it all right my hot seats is uh everyone on the internet who's not well this is even more than the advice to boomers did you guys see that uh mason ramsey yeah he is it's actually me because i'm actually scared for myself.
But Mason Ramsey turned 13 on Saturday and he declared, I'm controlling my Instagram now. Things are going to start changing around here.
And one of the first things he changed was he now just replies to everyone on my Instagram saying, let me shave your mustache. So I'm never going to post again.
So Mason Ramsey has tweet alerts on bullying me. He has Instagram He has Instagram alerts on for your post.
Is that a thing? He just hijacks the content. It's not the content that I post anymore.
It's just Mason Ramsey saying he wants to shave my mustache. He's Insta-cucking you.
I'm so scared to come out now. How many likes are his posts getting? A lot.
It was like thousands right away. I love it.
Yeah. Things are going to change.
You'll never see another Instagram post from me you know what this is how a rod felt when you first started commenting on true true true and it only took a year to till i just still got that paycheck he's gonna start a tiktok account with you at some point my cool throne is uh jason witten jason witten is on my cool throne because the internet has finally come for booger mcfarland so the reports of the internet coming for Booger McFarland have been grossly overrated. Well, I think Booger had that nice spot where he came in after Jason Witten.
So it was like no one was paying attention for a little bit. Now people are starting to listen to what he says.
And Devontae Adams and Stefan Diggs are roasting him. So he said that more games in the NFL are lost than won than one yeah which is true it's a fact yeah but he's getting roasted the internet is coming for him oh that's fine it is but it's a fact if you look at if you look at what trent dofer said four or five years ago when he said you cannot lose a game in the nfl and win at the same time uh if you go by that math and our knowledge that you can win a game and lose as evidenced by last Thursday night's Browns game, therefore you can, it's more likely that you lose a game than it is that you win.
Yeah. You just have to say ties.
Yeah. That's why.
Ties. There you go.
But you know what I'm saying? More games are lost than one. Yeah, it's okay to say that Booger said something stupid.
No, I think it is stupid to those of us that aren't on that high plane of football knowledge. Booger is a good...
Maybe that's what he needs to get back on the mobile. Yeah, Booger is a lesson where you want to keep that one guy around that everyone can go after.
That's where we got Hank. As soon as you get rid of him, everyone's going to come for you.
Again, I think that Booger is football dessert. He's not a main course.
He's not going he's not gonna he's in the main course room but i don't care i still like dessert i'd still eat a dessert at a fancy restaurant if i'm not hungry enough for dinner oh i'm not going after booger i'm saying it's coming though it's coming it's here coach oh yeah it's arrived it is arrived whether warranted or not it is at his doorstep every uh like media company is writing those blocks. Correct.
There's no And now people will listen more. You're not going to go out to eat at Monday Night Football and expect molecular gastronomy and weird experimental deconstructed dishes.
What you're going to get from Booger is mashed potatoes, a perfectly fine steak, and then a nice chocolate lava cake for dessert. And that's comforting to me.
Wait, that's more than just dessert. Yeah, but I'm changing my analogy right now.
I'm saying booger is comfort food. So he's now full meal.
So Tony, yeah, he's a full meal. He's not just a goddamn snack anymore.
I'm saying Tony Romo and more advanced statistical guys that call out plays before they happen. This is a really nice way of putting it.
Shall we say? That's like a fancy French meal that you get. That's like going someplace where the server brings you out your dish in a jar and he opens it up for you and there's smoke coming out and there's showmanship.
There's all sorts of weird sauces and foams on the plate. That's like Tony Romo.
Booger is a T-bone steak cooked medium, even though you ordered it medium rare. You have to really use a lot of analogies to get yourself to come around.
And a side of mashed potatoes and a cold beer on the side. There you go.
Bud Light. All right.
Speaking of that, Bud Light. There you go.
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I'm reading it phonetically now. They've now given me the phonetic spelling, Chivas Regal.
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Regal? No, don't do that to me. I made them spell phonetically because I guess last time I did the ad, I started doubting myself halfway through and switching it up.
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Regal. Chis regal is the world's first hank hank me up yeah he actually think about it this way it's saying regal kind of screwed me up regal it's like a no i know but i know i got a drunk seabird i got i got regal in my head now shivis regal is the world's first luxury whiskey renowned for its benchmark quality and taste style,

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All right, here he is, Tim Donaghy. Okay, we now welcome on former NBA ref, Tim Donaghy.
He's got a new movie that's coming out Friday, correct? Yes. So it is called Inside Game.
It's basically your story or actually told through your friend's eyes of the entire fixing games, NBA controversy, how you ended up in prison, all that. So thanks for joining us.
Appreciate you coming by. What's going on right now? Are you going to be able to get back into the reffing game? That's kind of a stupid question, but I always wondered, do you go around watching games and being like, wish I could be reffing this? I mean, absolutely.
I wish I was still reffing in the NBA when you talk about running up and down the court with the greatest athletes in the world. Something that's a great job, pays well, and it's missed.
Yeah, yeah. And you got the movie coming out, Inside Game.
I was watching the trailer for it. Are you happy with who plays you? Did you have any say in the casting? I didn't.
I tried to, but they told me basically to go pound sand.

To fuck off?

You weren't going to have a...

Oh, we're allowed to curse?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

They basically told me to fuck off.

Yeah.

So who ends up playing you in the movie here?

Eric Mabius plays myself.

Scott Wolf plays Tommy Martino.

And Will Sassa plays Batista.

So who did you want to play you?

Shit, Bradley Cooper, right? Bradley Cooper. Good-looking guy.
Philly guy. Yeah.
There it is. So given your whole story, and we can get into the details of it, but I'm always curious, what's the biggest misconception you think that's out there about fixing games and your entire career as an NBA ref? Fixing games.
I mean, some people think that I went out there and put Shaquille O'Neal to the bench or LeBron James to the bench so that some of these bets won that's really not what happened I picked the games based on relationships that existed between referees and players referees and coaches and referees and owners and what took place in the morning meetings with the referees and what was going to be called that night and how a team was going to be put at an advantage or disadvantage. So you're saying when you would call in a bet and be like, hey, take this side, you wouldn't then make sure that you called more fouls against the team that you bet against? No, I knew what the crew was going to go out and do that night and how a team was going to be put at an advantage.
Maybe there was an emphasis that day on Kobe Bryant going to the basket, and there was a DVD sent in last week of plays that were missed by the referees. So I knew when the league came in and said, hey, listen, there's a problem here.
Phil Jackson just sent in this DVD, 25 plays, Kobe getting fouled, and nobody blowing the whistle. I knew the three of us were going to go out that night, and he was going to go to the line 25 times, and they were going to win by 15.
So how often would you get special instructions like that? During the playoffs, every game. During the regular season, there were points of emphasis that came out probably once or twice a week.
But during the playoffs, you sat in a room, and they showed you tape of the previous games, and they said this was missed. The referees got poor grades because they missed this, this, and this, and it was always for the team that was down in the series, and we knew basically what they wanted, and we went out and concentrated on those things, and the bets just flowed through.
So for that example, you would see that, okay, Kobe's going to get a lot of calls today. You'd call your buddy and say he's going to be on the foul line.
Let take the lakers on this one then you would all go in together on the lakers or how would that work definitely i would just tell him i didn't actually tell him why or what was going on i would just say in in a code which is portrayed great in the movie uh you know certain things of talking about johnny or uh chuck which were tommy martino's brothers in regard to we're going to take the home or the away team. And we didn't really discuss how or why I was picking a game.
Okay, so you pick a game, you tell them, when you're running up and down the court and you're reffing an NBA game, things are moving a million miles an hour, are you the whole time thinking about this spread? No, because we won right out of the gate so many times. In fact, there were some points where Tommy and I really didn't care if we lost because we thought so many red flags would be going up because we won so much.
Right. Was there ever a game when afterwards you were in the locker room and you're like, shit, that was really obvious.
I did some stuff that's going to jump out on the tape. No, because, again, I wasn't doing anything that the league didn't want done.
But you never, in a close game, when the line was getting down to it at the end, you never blew your whistle one time when it was maybe borderline. For me, if I were in your position, I would absolutely, even subconsciously, call more fouls, get it closer to covering the spread for myself.
And you know what? That's a great word that you just use, subconsciously, because that's what the FBI wrote a book. And in the book, Personal Foul, I talked about all this.
And that was one thing that he wanted in the book that subconsciously I could have affected, you know, some of these games that way. Because he was writing the forward for the book and said, I told the truth at every turn.
So that word that you just used was the word that Phil Scala, one of the FBI agents, said, you know, could have happened subconsciously, which, you know, is possible. But I can only tell you that I didn't go out there and send Kobe or Shaq or some of these big stars to the bench.
I just did, you know, within the rules what the NBA wanted to do. And I knew who was going to be put on an advantage or a disadvantage.
But I will say this. There was one game where Allen Iverson threatened Steve Javie, and we felt as a staff he should have been suspended, but he was only fined $25,000.
I had the next game, and the two referees and myself in the morning meeting decided that Allen Iverson, although he carries the ball all the and it's never called we were going to enforce that rule against him that night and we went out in the first half and we all each took a turn you know we had a pact we're all going to call a palming violation on him and we did that and I did tell you know Tommy to bet against Denver that night and Iverson came up to me during a free throw and he said Tim how long is this going to go on for I said what? I said, what are you talking about? He goes, you know what I'm talking about. And I just smirked, and he smirked, and he knew he was going to have a problem for the next couple of games for what he did.
So knowing all this, like how much – and I know the NBA always said you're a lone wolf kind of situation. It's an isolated situation.
But it sounds like the way you're describing it is every night the refs are talking about how they're going to officiate the game and every night it could be different and every night there could be some personal vendettas. Do you think that that's true? 100%.
And in fact, I don't know if you guys know the name Michael Francisi. He was a famous captain in the Colombo crime family who's now out of jail and become a preacher as left organized crime he's on the record as saying that three NBA referees in the 1990s were on his personal payroll and none of them were named Tim Donaghy so I wasn't the only one uh passing along information uh you know was he paying them for you know I don't know what their setup was but but I'm sure he wasn't giving them chocolate bars.
Right, right. So the other thing, you've commented at times since the scandal, since you went to prison, that you'll be like, hey, this series is going to go seven, or this series they're going to try to extend it.
Is that something that you would talk about with the refs before a playoff game? Like, hey, the league needs us to go six here. We need to get this game to six, or we need to get this game seven is that something that actually because i think what happened more than anything with with this scandal is that everyone got very paranoid about every game and the nba had a rigged feel to it do you think it is rigged uh definitely manipulate it when you talk about dick bevetta at the in 2002 i don't know you remember the famous Lakers-Sacramento Game 6, right? He openly said to a lot of us that he was the NBA's go-to guy.
He was put on Game 6s to make sure they went to a Game 7, and that was one of the most fucked up games in the history of the NBA. And when you talk about three referees supposedly making so many mistakes in a conference final game, you know, where in America can you perform at that level in your job so poorly and still go to the next level and ref in the NBA finals and get another bonus of $20,000? If they were so bad and the league was so upset, you'd think that they would have not moved to the next round, but they advanced to the next round and got paid for it.
So he told you personally, or he said openly out to the public, and maybe I'm unaware of it, that he is the NBA's guy when it comes to extended series. He's admitted that? I don't know if he's admitted it, but he said it to a lot of us, and we all talked about it and laughed.
In fact, when he was refereeing that game, we knew it was going to Game 7. We joked.
We would call each other on the phone and say, but that is, you know, watch him. Look what he's doing.
What's your reputation now around, because, you know, the fascinating part of NBA refs, and if you look into it, there's like a cradle of reffing in Delaware County and Pennsylvania. You know, there's a bunch of refs that came from the same area.
I think you went to the same high school as Joey Crawfordford um what is your do you go back there are you persona non grata are you i don't go back there i don't live there anymore i live in florida so um you know there was a lot of referees from that area uh eddie malloy um crawford like you said ed middleton oaks javvy there was you know about 10 of us so So Wunderlich and Callahan, we had a great time.

And unfortunately, I made some bad choices and ruined those relationships.

And are my friends with them now?

No, because they're still working for the league.

But as each referee retires or moves into a different facet of life, I hear from them and speak to them.

But the guys that are still working for the league, I don't talk to.

How aware of the spread are NBA refs going into the game very aware i mean we get the usa today it's dropped at the at your door every morning the first thing you do is you pick up the newspaper and you look at the line i mean i know i did and i know it was discussed uh you know amongst the referees so before you started uh kind of point shaving or putting your finger on the scale a little bit, were you gambling on NBA games as a ref? Yes. Okay.
So games that you would referee or other games? Both. Both.
Okay. Yeah, it started as you gambling with a friend.
Right. It just escalated to the point.
And then, you know, unfortunately, I had so much good information, you know, I started to relay that to him. Now, was it partly because of debt? Because I know that that was thrown out there, that you were losing gambling, so then you basically got linked up with guys higher up.
But that's... No.
I've read it and it doesn't seem like... I wish I had some excuse to tell you why I did it, but it's just stupid and dumb.
And I had information. I hang out with my buddies and just started to relay it and it just spiraled out of control.
And there was no... I mean, you would still be doing doing it if it wasn't because the other fascinating part about the story is you guys weren't caught directly it was another it was fbi doing an investigation on the mafia in general right that that basically and that's what the you know great aspect and parts of the movie are inside game they really can portray you know the fbi agents and how it was discovered over a gambino wiretap and and that in the film really is uh you know showed well yeah did you was there at any point in time when you were doing this did you think like this isn't that illegal like i'm betting with you know with with bookies and people who are not like casinos like who cares you know bottom line is David Stern made a comment.
I'll never forget he was on ESPN. He said, legal gambling will cost you your job because it was in our contract.
None of us were allowed to bet. And then he referred to me and said, illegal gambling will cost you your freedom, meaning I was going to go to jail.
And then he did an investigation and found out 55 out of 58 NBA referees were gambling, going to casinos, betting on football, betting on golf, couldn't fire everybody, and he immediately started to backtrack that whole thing. We would go to casinos with baseball hats pulled down over our foreheads so nobody recognized us.
It was a little bit out of control. You were a referee during the malice at the Palace.
Do you look back on that night with any regrets knowing that if you had kept the floor a little bit drier, Jermaine O'Neal would have knocked that guy's head off? Yeah, I mean, that was, I'll never forget, I was standing there and that Mexican guy is lucky that he's still alive because he lost his back foot, but yeah, it was something that, you know, as a referee, you don't want to be part of a fight because it always lands on your, you know, doorstep that kind of things got out of control. So, you know, maybe we could have got in there a little bit quicker and grabbed on our test before we ran up into the stands and everything just escalated to no return.
Was there a moment when that was all going down that you were just, like, blowing your whistle hoping that someone would oh the whistle blew gotta stop nobody was listening to anything i'll never forget larry brown uh started screaming at me do something yeah you're blowing your whistle and you're like do something they're gonna listen to you they don't listen to me half the time anyway you do something right and it just no nobody would stop anything what coach or player did you have the like most adversarial relationship with? Probably Rasheed Wallace. Okay.
Yeah, he threw a ball at you. Did he throw a ball at you or threw it? He threw a ball at my partner in a game that was a blowout, and I gave him a technical foul, and he got all bent out of shape that I did that and waited for me out in the parking garage and basically wanted to fight me.
And what did you do? Did you cower? I squared up like I was ready to go with him, just saying prayers that somebody grabbed him, and right before he got to me, 10 people jumped on him. If not, I'd probably still be eating through a stroll today.
Yeah, that's probably good for you. What about a coach? Is there a coach that you just didn't get along with? George Carl was a uh really tough and uh you know i had a lot of run-ins with him so he was a guy larry brown was tough but you know off the floor he was he seemed to be a good guy yeah now do you you still gamble i assume right like do you gamble on sports no you don't no are you not allowed to or is it no i just i just don't do it i think it was a situation where it just got out of control and i started to cross too many lines yeah and uh you know you really can't win gambling when i was gambling i had somewhat of an advantage being on the inside so uh you know to to gamble you really have to have a good edge and really look at it i do have a website where I consult with people that like to gamble

as a form of entertainment and try to help them and guide them through it.

Okay, so you're in the gambling space a little bit.

How much money do you think estimate you won during those four years, five years?

How many years you were helping out?

Not as much as you would think, probably around $100,000,

and I had to write a check for $30,000 back back to the government from the uh you know the scheme with uh martino and batista what was the largest amount of money you ever put on a game um probably two or three thousand okay but there's but the what's the largest amount of money someone else put on a game that you were reffing hundreds of thousand and in the movie again that's movie, again, there's a scene with Batista of how he really manipulates the line. And we were going to bet one side at minus six, and he bets the other side to move the line and then comes back again and bets the side that we want and wins well over several million dollars.
Yeah, that's crazy. So the Lions, would it get to a point where a line would move?

Did Vegas ever get whiff of what was going on before the FBI did?

Yeah, there were things that nailed it.

I understand that some of the Lions were moving three, four, and five points,

which is unheard of in the gambling world,

and that's because Batista, and again, Will Sassa in the movie does a great job.

This guy, I'd be shocked if he doesn't get some type of award for the portrayal. The comedian? Yeah, from MADtv.
Yeah, he really, I'm telling you, every time I watch it, I just look at the guy. And I think it's Batista half the time.
The way he does everything is really incredible. Yeah, interesting.
I mean, this is like, the story is i i i would imagine it was there any point where you started to while you're in the middle of it started to feel bad or started to have you know second thoughts of like hey what i'm doing is wrong definitely there were times when i was doing it with the guys at the country club where i'm thinking what the heck am i doing because we were winning so much and i'm thinking this there's got to be red flags going up somewhere and we would stop and there was one time where uh he went to the casino and lost about $25,000 and took out a marker and said listen I need some picks I need to get this money back so you know I would give him some picks and then we would stop again and then eventually Batista who was getting these picks behind our back associated with organized crime, had Tommy Martino, tricked Tommy Martino into bringing him down in front of me at the Marriott Hotel in Philadelphia. Were there ever any times that you thought that you were getting caught that turned out to just be like a false alarm? No, it wasn't.
In fact, I wish that would have happened because it probably would have scared me straight a little bit, but it wasn't until I was at the golf course and Tommy called me and said the FBI had been at his house three times. Oh, wow.
So that moment, so that happens. When does the FBI come to your house? They come to your house like the next morning or what? They never come to my house.
I get the call from Tommy and I just totally panic. I lose about 30 pounds in less than a month.
And my attorney keeps telling me, sit tight, sit tight. And the stress was just unbearable.
And he called up the United States attorney and had him on speakerphone, and I was sitting in his office, and he said, Listen, you tell Tim Donaghy we know what he did. We know who he did it with.
He's going to lose his job. If we have to come get him, not only is he going to lose his job, he's going to go to jail for a long, long time.
So I thought it was in my best interest and my family's best interest. The next day I got on a plane and went to New York and met with the FBI.
Okay. So you knew it was coming for a month while you were still repping games? No.
Okay. It was over at that point.
It was the summer. Oh, it was the summer that's right that's right and now have you ever did you ever talk to david stern on the phone after that or i was in uh my attorney's office again and we called the league office and they picked up the phone and he said hey listen you know i think we should come in and meet with you and tim wants to explain to you what he did and how he did it and they said okay we'll get back to you and we never heard from him again he probably was pretty mad huh oh he's pretty pissed at you yeah you kind of screwed that one up yeah yeah yeah i'd be mad if i was a commissioner i would be mad no doubt i mean i'd be pissed too but i think he could have handled it a much different how so well when you talk about um you know the way the business was operated and what how they were dictating what the referees were calling, especially during the playoffs, I think there's some culpability there in the fact that you're not fixing these games.
You're manipulating them for the bottom line of going five, six, and seven games, and you have to accept some responsibility in that. Do you think the NBA has gotten better at this? Do you think they have maybe cleaned it up a little where it's not this type of manipulation as prevalent? I believe so.
I mean, if you look at the playoffs last year, there weren't as many series going deep into the 5-6. There was a lot of sweeps, which is unheard of in years past.
So you'd like to think that they're starting to clean this up because it's been so out in the news. I'm sure they knew the movie was coming out and different things are going on to where I'm going to be on Barstool Sports talking about stuff like this.
So they don't want their hand in the cookie jar. So was it always just an extended series or could you see the fingerprints of they want the team from the bigger market to move on to the next round was there ever any influence to say okay we need you know boston to beat you know a smaller market team like boston to beat cleveland or something like that sure i mean there was a famous interview david stern did it was a national televised interview and and the person said to him uh you know what's your ideal matchup for the nba finals and he was so arrogant.
He said the Lakers versus the Lakers. And that's not something that the referees don't see and hear and realize.
And the big market teams are something that brought global attention to the league. So we all knew that.
And when there's a situation in a playoff series, you know, we gave the advantage to that big market team. Okay.
My last question is a SeatGeek question. If you want to go to an NBA game that hopefully is not manipulated, you can use SeatGeek promo code TAKE and you get $10 off your ticket purchase.
If you were reffing today, would you call a travel on James Harden? No. That little step back thing he does? No, it all depends.
The thing is that the NBA doesn't want that travel called and when he does travel and even when it's obvious they'll come out and say it has something to do with the gather the euro step the new the way the rule is written it's just a bunch of bullshit to protect the fact that no nobody called the travel but what's going to happen is he's going to be in a playoff game and it's going to be a situation where it's a game seven and he he does it, and he makes the winning shot, and the other side's going to be furious because the subjectivity of how the rule is written is just comical. So I always find that interesting, too, because James Harden is a perfect example of a guy who goes to the rim a lot, gets fouled a lot.
Regular season, he puts up tons of numbers. They call it differently in the playoffs.
Do you see refs, whether it be focused more or be more on top of it how different the playoffs in the regular season are officiated no it's definitely different um you have uh you know supposedly a top refs in the league at the time doing it and uh you know again it's it's just a lot of subjectivity uh of difference of how one referee will rep versus another one,

and what the league once called because they're going to put those referees in a room

and they're going to say, concentrate on this and let this go.

And you saw in the playoffs where they had some problems

where James Harden would be kicking out his feet or flailing on his arms

to where he got that call all year long.

And then come the playoffs, he stopped getting it.

And that's what created a lot of controversy.

Yeah.

What was your favorite call to make? Did you have a good N one did you do the like full fist pump when you hit it yeah you know offensive foul is always you can be a little dramatic and come off the baseline when you're doing it so Joey Crawford with a skip down the court yeah yeah yeah absolutely in Phoenix yeah did it bother you when they would say and one even if it wasn't a foul oh yeah good question Hank yeah mean yeah i mean definitely if uh you know somebody was started to taunt you and got the crowd down on you you know you you did certain things to to stick it to that guy to you know make sure he doesn't do that again would the would the refs when you're reffing a game and the crowd is you know loud and maybe it's a playoff atmosphere and they start booing does that start affecting how you call the game some of the weaker referees sure but i kind of love that to make a call against the home crowd and have 20 000 people yell at you especially when you knew you were right and made the hair stand up on the back of your neck i kind of liked it okay all right interesting um all right tim donaghy the new movie is called inside game uh gambling nba fbi mafia all the good stuff that people can't get enough of. Every time I think the story's going to go away, somebody like Pauli Martino knocks on my door and says he's going to make a movie.
So I think it's a great portrayal of the whole situation. And like I said, Scott Wolf and Sassad do a great job in playing the characters.
Bradley Cooper in the sequel, though. Yeah, Bradley Cooper in the sequel.
How many times have you apologized? Countless. You know, I can't.
Do you want to do one more? Absolutely. I mean, you know, I crossed some lines that I shouldn't have done, and unfortunately, I made some poor choices, and, you know, I can't apologize enough.
I did some dumb stuff. That wasn't an apology.
No? What was it? You said, I can't apologize enough. That's saying, like, you can't.
You've got to say, I'm sorry. All right, let me dumb it down a little bit.
I am sorry. Okay, there we go.
All right, all right. I'm going to let you off.
All right, thanks, Tim Donaghy. Appreciate it, man.
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Okay, let's get some segments. Wrap this up.

We got first up Sabermetrics, and it is for the return of Mellow.

So Carmelo Anthony is back.

He is playing.

Starting.

Breaking moves.

The breaking moves is that he is starting.

Starting.

Sorry.

Start.

Well.

Well.

I mean.

Just announced by you. I've known it for a while.
Who said that? Shams. Starting.
Sorry. Start.
Well. Well, I mean, just announced by you.

I've known it for a while.

Who said that?

Shams.

Okay.

Starting.

Done.

Done.

This was brought to you by Breaking Moves for a real recovery that tastes real good.

All right.

This Breaking Moves is brought to you by Choco Milk.

Fuck.

Damn.

That's what I meant to write. Yeah.

By Breaking Moves.

It wasn't brought to you by Breaking Moves.

It was brought to you by Choco Milk.

Devontae Adams is going to quote tweet that for sure and roast you along with Stefan Diggs.

Yeah.

You move more games in the podcast game than you win.

Okay, here we go.

Saber metrics.

Carmelo Anthony.

He's changed his number to double zero.

I love this.

I think everyone loves it, but he gave out a saber metrics on why.

So here's the list.

A number greater than any assignable quantity or countable fact check insanely true countable number sorry there's it's too a number greater than any assignable quantity or countable number symbol infinity So zero is greater than any other number. Yeah.

Apparently.

Yeah.

True.

Without end.

Okay. infinity so zero is greater than any other number yeah apparently yeah without end okay i think he's just i'm beginning to put the pieces together on this i think he chose zero zero because it kind of looks like the infinity yeah like the eight and he saw it on like some porn stars back so everything from this everything from this point forward is just going to be about infinity, not double zero.

Okay.

Without end.

I don't.

That's not.

That's not true.

Yeah.

It's like that straw question.

It ends.

It's zero, zero.

Zero.

It never starts.

Process that never stops.

Again, I don't.

Okay.

Because he's a starter.

This is something. Mel is definitely reading this to himself.
Can never be given an exact value. Again, not true.
Zero is a value. It's zero.
There's nothing. I think it's like $2 million a year.
Yeah. Is that what he's getting? No, it's not guaranteed yet.
So that is not... Actually, yeah.
So there you are. He's right.
Can't be given an exact right can't be given exact value we don't know

it's it's his contract what he gets paid is open-ended at this point zero zero we don't

know it's going to end in zero zero yeah we don't know what comes before that simplicity and balance

the mysticism of our past and the possibility for an eternal future given the infinity symbol a sense

of awe and wonder how fucking high was he he was watching the new star wars thing when he came up with this i think infinite nature of god we cannot stay away from god without him trying to bring us back to him at this point these aren't reasons these are just this is a paragraph that he's bullet point well what happened is he was perusing sammykins' Twitter account and just plagiarized it. This is crazy.
The chance to have a new and great beginning with the past left behind where it belongs. Beginnings or end.
Alpha and Omega. So he's God.
So it symbolizes God. Why didn't he just say, I'm doing double zero because the Stay Mellow thing, everyone was mocking, and I wanted to change the narrative.
And maybe have people talk about something different than me just being old and begging for a job. It could be Stay Mellow with two zeros.
Or it could be Breaking Moos with two zeros in it. I love double zero.
I do too. Tribute to the legend Eric Montross.
He's not a double zero, but I love it. Uh-huh.
What do you mean he's not a double zero? He's not a double zero. He's not a double zero guy? No, double zero guys don't shoot threes.
I think he could become a double zero. He could rebrand.
Just be a total block player? All you need to get those post touches, Mello? All you truly need to be a double zero is be weird. That's it.
Okay, well, he's got that. He's got that.
So I think he could pull it off. It also, I'm surprised he didn't include this one, double zero also looks like the word boobs upside down if you have number 58 standing next to you and number five standing on the other side of it.
So we've got to make sure. Number 58, a well-known number in the NBA.
For the Trailblazers. Yeah, it's like number 18 at LSU.
They give that to the highest person in Portland. Also, he's 007.
Yeah. So maybe he's on a James Bond kick.
That is pretty cool. That's probably it.
By the way, just totally sidetrack here, is Luka Doncic the best player of all time? Yes. He's pretty good.
Okay. Done think he's gonna be he's really good of all time he's crazy 42 point triple double but no one's watching because no one watches the nba does he have a cool nickname yet luke and rally luke luke luka brazi because he kills you yeah he murders you godfather lu? Lukak Shakur? Ooh.
There you go. That's probably not that one.
Did you see Boomer last night at halftime did a five whooper? I was doing my workout. I was doing my Genesis halftime show.
It was wild. It was awesome.
He was doing whoops. I caught up with it afterwards.
He still got it. Still got the whoops.
The five whooper was, I don't know if he's ever brought that out before. I think he blacked out for a little bit at the end of it.

We need to go back and see which players over the course of Boomer's career have averaged the most whoops per highlight. I'm going to play the five whooper real quick.
One of you nerd sabermetrics guys, tell me. It's going to be like Danny and Tomlinson.
It actually technically was a six whooper because he added a whoop in the it's a five whooper. I thought that was the fifth.
Oh, that might have been the fifth. I think he ended it with that.
Okay, the five whooper. Yeah, that's incredible.
All right, next up we have Sorry Not Sorry Antonio Brown. He apologized to Mr.
Kraft. Do you think he's coming back? I mean, did you see that every single Patriot basically liked it? And he used a semicolon, which means there's a chance that someone wrote it for him, which means that it was like, hey, post this apology.
And maybe he'll come back. And maybe he'll come back.
How do the rosters work? Can he come back? I have no idea. You guys know that better than me.

No, we don't. You could tell me

any week and I'd be like, yeah, sure.

It's like week 14.

That's what they're saying with Gronk. He has to come back

by week 14. But he would have to...
Isn't he in the middle

of when the league then have to

process it? Also, there's something about

the fact that he played this year already.

It's not like he's been out this whole time waiting to come back.

He played in one game, right? Yeah. So I think he could come back.
The Patriots would probably have to guarantee that $9 million again, which I still don't know how that works. It was guaranteed, but then it's not.
Antonio Brown is just stuck in that spot where he thought he was going to be on a team by now. And now that he's not, he's like, whoops.
Well, probably should start apologizing. But do you guys think it's a coincidence that after the Patriots offensive performance on Sunday, that this all of a sudden comes very early the next week and all like Brady, Edelman, they all liked it? I think that it's very much.
I think everything in Antonio Brown's life past a year ago today has happened out of sheer coincidence.

Yeah.

Literally everything.

Yeah.

He's just been,

he's just been rolling the dice.

You are right.

The semicolon.

I don't suspect at best.

I'm an English major.

I don't know what a semicolon does. No.

All I know is I think Kurt Vonnegut said that all a semicolon proves is that you went to

college and that you look down on other people.

Well,

and Hank's allowed to semicolon shame others because you went to college and that you look down on other people.

Well, and Hank's allowed to semicolon shame others because if Hank released a statement with a semicolon, he'd be semicolon suspect. Correct.
Big time. Big time suspect.
Right. Yeah.
I think you just use it when you don't know what, when you feel like a sentence. And based off of his text messages, I don't think he's a big punctuation or like proper grammar guy.
What, you thought he was going to hit the semicolon and then do the eggplant and then the water and then an emoji of someone's back? No, I'm saying he wouldn't put the semicolon on his own. Someone wrote that statement for him because they told him, post a statement, you might get back.
Okay. Did he delete the other tweet that he had where he was saying Robert Kraft got tugged off in a massage parlor but AB kicked kicked out of the league? Probably.
That would be a good first step to apologize. Yeah, you want to delete that one for sure.
He just apologized to Kirk Cousins. Yeah.
The Vikings would probably pick him up at that point. Yeah, that's true.
The year of the apology. Let's do some guys on chicks.
Let's finish up. Okay.
This is from an old friend. My ex-boyfriend's wife of 50 years just passed away.
How long should I wait before I send him a Facebook message? You get right on that, Jilly. It's from Jilly.
Jilly, you slide in those DMs yesterday. Oh, Jilly's about to get it on.
Show up to the funeral. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Show up to the funeral.
In a red dress. I was going to say a black dress, but No, you want to stick out.
But one that is slightly questionable. Yeah, the low-cut black dress, J the one that is slightly questionable.

The low cut black dress, Jilly.

You got this.

It's going to be the summer Jilly this winter.

What's up, guys? Totally serious question.

I'm the only woman in my office and I notice

my co-workers have an odd fascination

with penises. Why do men talk

about dick so much? Why is that the main

content of jokes? Is this normal

among all men or should I also i also make dick jokes okay well so you should you can test the waters i would say don't just jump right in with the dick jokes it might be off-putting uh and skip because it's more like our listen a penis is a very funny thing it's ridiculous it's just something hanging off of us so we make jokes about it because it's stupid and everyone's got one and it's like a way for guys to bond like you got a dick i got a dick ha ha ha ha so if you hop in yes it can be done but just be careful yeah i would say don't make any jokes about our international men's day that's our day correct where we want to feel safe and secure and talking about our penises in the workplace and you can talk you can be like you can say like suck my dick about your own like fake penis yeah when a woman says suck my dick that's funny that actually commands respect correct but don't say hey uh bill your dick is really small no just that hurts our feelings no yeah just call everyone little dick like no No, no, no, no, no. No, yeah.
Just call everyone little dick. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because if you call everyone little dick, the guy that has a little dick is going to get upset about it. He's going to lash out.
A hit dog will holler, as they say. Yeah.
Just say everyone's got a monster cock. Yeah.
That's the way to get everyone. That's a good way to ingratiate yourself.
Like, hey, hey, what's up, Joe? How's it hanging? Probably pretty long. pretty long that's a good joke hey bobby i was trying to walk past you in the hallway but i couldn't because your huge hog would have tripped all over it hey tim what do you tie that thing off i mean man that thing goes all the way down to your knee like those jokes are very funny hey morning morning tripod hi big cat and crew so my question is can you you tell your boyfriend he's getting fat without causing serious self-esteem issues? My longtime boyfriend has always eaten whatever he wants and not gain weight.
He's not a big gym goer, even though I go about five times a week. Normally it doesn't bother me, but lately he's been putting on some weight.
I tried to low key get him to start working out more by saying things like, Oh, are you going to the gym today? Or you haven't been to the gym in a while, huh? But it hasn't gotten the point across. Basically, if I straight up told him he was getting fat, would he be hurt or is there a better way to approach it? Yeah, at this point, you have to almost sneak it.
So you can't say you're getting a little chubby. You can't subtly suggest that he go to the gym.
You have to skip straight to lightly poisoning his food or just switching out sour cream for Greek yogurt and not telling him. You know how like when you give your dog medicine and you hide in peanut butter, just switch his diet without him knowing.
Yeah. Or the easiest way to get him to realize it is there's two things that always work for me.
One, very of his jowls underneath his neck two you can start by his what his jowls i think that's what it's called yeah i mean that is exactly what happened that picture with grok when i saw i saw my chin uh and then two is get him some clothes that are not uh that are like really small and be like here i got you this great. And then when he puts it on, he'll feel uncomfortable.
And then when he doesn't wear it, because there's nothing worse than wearing something that doesn't fit, you can be like, why don't you wear that sweatshirt I bought you? And that's like a hint, hint, you're fat. Yeah.
Or you could just take all his clothes and wash them in cold water. Is that the one that makes the laundry shrink? I don't know.
I think it's wash all his clothes so they shrink. I just wash all my clothes in cold water.
I just don't wash. Because I'm scared of them running together.
I just get new jumpsuits. Yeah.
Boys. Yeah.
My boyfriend cups the bottom of my tits when I have no bra on and says, I'm supporting you. That's funny.
How do I tell him to stop? I tried explaining to him how bras work, but apparently this isn't enough. What do you mean how bras work? That's what it is.
Like a bra just basically feels you up all day. He's supporting you.
Is that not how it works? Touches your nipple and makes it uncomfortable when you don't want to have your nipple touch. That's what bras do.
I'm confused. What do bras do besides the same thing that a hand but that's a pasty could do that hank right back to us next week and tell us why this is wrong because we don't understand i think what bras do is they they keep the breasts from eventually sagging so it's like a preventative long-term thing might might help with your back too i think that's what Yeah is it's a back thing yeah so yeah what's the big deal hey big cat pft and hank i want your opinion on something i have a friend parentheses no i actually do i'm not talking about myself yeah okay who puts her fuck buddy they're not dating before all of us in her friend group he's made an effort to be nice to us lately when he comes to visit her,

but I still believe he's a snake in the grass,

even referring to her as his friend to me.

I've kind of given up on our friendship

because all she does is talk about him.

Do you think there's any way to salvage things with her

or am I going to have to wait until he kicks her to the curb?

So I think what you're describing is your friend has a boyfriend.

Yeah.

That's what it sounds like.

Fuck buddy though.

That's our issue is that.

There's a fine line between a fuck buddy and a boyfriend.

Listen, and this is going to happen.

As you get older, people get, you know, they link up and then it's over.

The friendships are changed forever.

So, yeah, unless you want to maybe cuck her, I think it's over.

Yeah, you can sleep with him.

That would make sure that he just stayed a fuck buddy.

Well, if you slept with him, too, you might be able to see her more often yeah good point you know you made out in his bedroom do you remember back in like middle school maybe early high school when a friend that had been totally having sex no definitely not then uh when you had a friend that became the first girlfriend friend that you had that's exactly the emotions that we were describing you're just your friends just haven't had boyfriends in the last like 10 15 years are you 14 is the person 14 that's what it sounds like yeah so okay all right last one hey guys so my boyfriend for over a year broke up with me on saturday and blocked me on everything it was pretty sudden breakup i've been so hurt and i don't know how to pull myself out of this outside of destruction of property how can i pass how can i move passes blocking on twitter this sounds like a monster he boscoed you she's already thinking about destruction of property yeah i mean maybe he just doesn't want to see your takes anymore it's actually i think that the full block on social media for everything is a healthy way to move on yeah because if you break up with someone you're gonna go creeping on their stuff and looking and being like hope they're not doing well so to go clean slate i'm just gonna like remove everything i think that's a healthy way to deal with the breakup in 2019 i would be offended if i was dumped i i'd be fine if the person in question unfollowed me on instagram on any snapchat all that stuff just don't don't block me on twitter yeah it's like what my tweets aren't gold anymore like i need this clout i need that you can always you know what the worst part about this is he was probably counting on you for a like on all his tweets you know you need to have your your friend step in there and give him a little bit of positive feedback it's his loss that he's not getting those favorites anymore now with all that said you should definitely slash his tires of course yeah have to at least slash one tire just one that's actually more inconvenient than four i would

fuck his brother i would fuck one sibling or friend of his uh until he unblocks you on every

aspect of social smashes xbox that's it see you on Friday love you guys I close my eyes Only for a moment and a moment ago All my dreams Butusted full eyes in curiosity I'm just a way Only I'm just a way Same old song Just a drop of water In an endless sea All we do Crumbles to the ground that we refuse to see

Just the way

And we are in just the way

Just the way Thank you.