NFL Week 11, Matt Nagy Is A Doofus, Lamar Is Absurd And We Rank Weird Fans

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have football. You know it.
It's Monday. We have a full recap of Week 11.
I'm mad about the Bears. We have Lamar Jackson being the frontrunner for the MVP.
We have the Patriots winning the rematch of the Super Bowl the rubber match of the Super Bowl a lot of football to get to football guy of the week a Monday reading who's back a packed Monday show for you but before we do all that part of my take is brought to you by the we're gonna get right back to the show this show. This is Roundup Dual Action Weed and Grass Killer Products.
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That's up to part of my take.

Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App.
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Today is Monday, November 18th, week 11. What? Oh, what? Is there an echo in here? What? We start in Baltimore as Jackson was remarkable, facing off against his contemporary Deshaun of the Dead Watson, who looked like a zombie all Sunday afternoon.
Daisy Duke Johnson got cut off and showed his ass as the Texans offense couldn't get moving on the other side

the Ravens rode the gust bus for 112 yards and a score and DeAndre the Giant Hopkins came up small as the Texans scored seven points or the amount of beers one would drink in a 20-minute cab ride verbal gift boom DeAndre the Giant no no no please stop no no no no not another quarterback No, no, no.

Ravens 41, Texans 7.

What?

What? No, no, no, please stop. No, no, no, no.
Not another quarterback. No, no, no.
Ravens 41, Texans 7. Whip, whip, whip.
In Charlotte, where quarterback Ryan played his first game of the season on natural surface, Kyle Woody Allen acted inappropriately and put out a film that's only funny because it's so uncomfortable. Kenyan Barako Barner reached across the aisle and took it all the way to the house as the Panthers often stall and crash faster than healthcare.gov.
As my good friend Charlie Sheen would say, Quenning, Dan that is, as the Falcons coach earns himself talk of an extension. Falcons 29, the Panthers 3.
In Raujon where the Redskins who had gone 3.5 Scaramoochies without scoring a touchdown matched up against the Red Hot Jets. Sam Donald Palmer said when life hands you lemons, turn it into half lemonade, half iced tea and tell everyone we're going to run the damn table.
Darius Red Beans and Geist, Zato ran into the end zone, but it wasn't enough for the hapless Redskins. Redskins as Sam Donald Schwarzenegger.
Team kept coming and coming and

coming. Zato ran into the end zone, but it wasn't enough for the hapless Redskins as Sam Donald Schwarzenegger.
Team kept calming and calming and calming and calming, and Dwayne Haskins-Robbins was feeling 31 flavors of pressure with six sacks and 10 QB hits. Don't look now, but the Jets are on a winning streak, 34-17.
What? Some spread.

In Minnesota, where Kirk Cousins completes a historic

20-point comeback. You fight that!

Dalvin Cookie Monster

got the fourth quarter going by saying,

Me sure touchdown, me want comeback!

And Kyle Mason Rudolph avoided

getting smashed on the head as he had the go-ahead

score. After the Broncos' fourth

loss of the season, where they lead in the

fourth quarter, Vic Fangio

Lena-Jolie said, this is the

pits. Vikings 27,

Broncos 24.

A word of warning, some of the

pictures in this story might be tough to look

at. Police are offering up to $38,000

as a reward for

help in finding the person responsible for

stabbing a dolphin to death.

No one

circles the wagons like the

Buffalo Bills. Bills 37, 23, 4, 3.
You're absolutely right, Boom. In Detroit, where the lions and cowboys met in a can't-lose, and as so often happens in these movies, as seen on Disney+, available now on smart TVs nationwide.
A lion named Scarborough looked like he was going to be king for a day. Tony Pollard Greens and Randall Corn on the Cob were quality side dishes to the main course.
An extra large serving of Baby Dak ribs. Who's the best QB in the NFC? Maybe Dak, maybe Dak, maybe Dak, maybe Dak.
And much like the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. Too soon, boom.
Streaming now on Disney+. Did I mention Disney+.
The Cowboys have Michael Gallup their way back into the lead in the NFC East. Cowboys 35, the Lions 27.
What? What? What? Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston, Tampa, Florida. Such a fine sight to see.
It's an ugly scoreboard, 17 to 34. The Bucs have a blind QB.
What are these passes? You need some glasses. The Saints go marching through breeze.
Just kick your asses. Saints 34.
I didn't write down all the scores. In San Francisco, where Christian Kirk, Herbstreet, and the Cardinals offense weren't flying high on their private jet Sunday.
The Niners were without the Pro Bowl tight end Greg Kittle for the second straight game

as they're practicing Jimmy Garoppoload management.

But in his absence, the Niners were able to slide a couple balls into their backup very

tight end Ross KY Dwelly.

I love the his and hers boom.

Pray for anyone who had the Cardinals plus 10 as the last play had a whoop and last play. Had a whoop and a whoop and a whoop and a fumble.
But Cardinals fans, don't worry. Be happy.
Don't worry. Be happy now.
Your future is in good hands with Kyler Murray, even if your fuckboy coach can't win a game. 49ers 36, Cardinals 26.
What? Fumble! We finish in Philadelphia where an old wily vet from the Bay Area throws his first touchdown pass in the regular season. That's right.
Julian Edelman made the Eagles defense look like they had popcorn lung with his third quarter touchdown pass.

Benjamin Button Watson looks younger the older he gets.

And speaking of old young guys, Tom Brady still out there doing it.

I remember a young Swam and even younger Tom at the catch.

Yeah, folks, I was there.

Look at all that hair.

Ultimately, the game went through Nelson Montzegalar's hands. Ha ha.
Ha ha. And the Eagles fall in the rematch of that Super Bowl.
52-17-10. There it is.
Week 11 in the books. Okay.
What are we going to talk about today, Big Cat? We do always talk about the Sunday Night Game first. I think there are a lot of people out there waiting to hear us talk about the Jets Redskins.
Soggy Sorrows? Ooh, Soggy Sorrows. So fucking done with Matt Nagy as a football coach.
Matt Nagy has done the impossible. He has made Mitch Trubisky a sympathetic figure.
And that happened in L.A. on Sunday night.
I would say the impossible would be winning a game with Mitch Trubisky. Well, you know what? Don't do that.
Don't be overly mean. Remember, he's a sympathetic figure.
The Bears season is over. I feel like a fool forever thinking they had it in them to win this game, even though the whole game was winnable until the last three minutes.
The Bears were like, you know, one big play. There was a fumble that could have picked up there's a pick six that was right there there were so many chances for the bears to like basically uh what was it snatch victory from the jaws of defeat or whatever the fuck the saying is but matt nagy you idiot you're a coward he throws mitch trubisky under the bus with a phantom hip injury with the last possession of the game, bringing in Chase Daniel, and it is a joke.
He's in over his head. He's a clown.
He's been a clown since he did the 43-yard kicking competition in the spring, basically using the moment that was a horrendous moment with the double doink and making sure that the team thought about it every single day. His play calling is a joke now he has done the last thing it is the death spiral I mentioned it on Twitter but Mark Trestman did the exact same thing when he was in his death spiral he benched Jay Cutler for Matt Barkley to basically try to say it's not me it's the quarterback and that is what Matt Nagy did tonight and now he looks even worse because he did it in a game that Mitch wasn't even the biggest problem.
He's played worse. He was not good and I fully admit that Mitch is not the guy so I'm not going to sit here and be like Mitch has it somewhere in him.
He doesn't but this was not the game to bench him. There were other games that he's been way worse.
This was the game where, you know what? Guess what? Mitch didn't call a fucking option play to the short yard, short side of the field with your banged up running back on third and one. You did, Matt Nagy.
You did. No, it was a bitch move.
It was. It was a bitch move by Matt Nagy to do that at the end of the game.
If it was, it was a two possession game. Yeah.
So actually credit to Matt Nagy for learning from last Thursday night's game. He didn't want to keep his starting quarterback in in a two-score game and have him get hit over the head with a helmet in the fourth quarter.
So he's learned from the mistakes that the Steelers made. But yeah, it was a bitch move keeping him in there.
It was a bitch move taking him out there and putting Chase Daniel in to get the world's saddest spark. They were like, I want a spark.
Then put literally anyone except for Chase Daniel in. He's the sparklestest quarterback in the history of the NFL.
The game is over. You are basically embarrassing Mitch Trubisky, who, again, he's not the guy.
No one is saying that. Everyone is watching this, and we all know that something's going to have to change, and the Bears are going are gonna have to bring in quarterbacks but to embarrass him in a game that's basically loss and put in Chase Daniel who is not listen I know there's some people who are like Chase Daniel's better than Mitch Trisky guess what he's not he's fine backup he's a perfect backup I'm sure Chase Daniel you know marks every single box when it comes to a backup he's a great room guy.
He's a great teammate. He's a great guy in the film room.
He can probably get you one or two wins here and there. It's just if you bench Mitch Trubisky there, it better be for the future.
And that's not what happened. Chase Daniel's not the future.
So you just did it so that you can push the blame off and have everyone think that it's not your fault. And the whole genius visor thing is not so funny anymore.
And I'm just so sick of it. And I think he's in way over his head.
And he's dealt with the media poorly all year. And it's just a joke.
The whole thing is a joke. The Bears season is officially done.
The thing is a joke. And Khalil Mack, whenever you want to show up, that's fine too.
You don't bench a quarterback at that point though. You just don't do it.
Like you said, there's no greater purpose that it's going to serve. You're not going to build on anything by bringing Chase in.
It's like breaking up with somebody on a plane at that point. You should wait until the plane lands.
Yes. Because otherwise...
The defense is amazing. Their defense is pretty good.
He does it every single night, though. They keep them in the game.
They keep them in the game. I know.
They keep them in the game. And then they run out of gas.
And that was probably an unfair shot at Khalil Mack. I'm just frustrated because when Akeem Hicks gets hurt, everyone looks worse, and Khalil Mack doesn't have the numbers.
And now the new hotness, you know, like the verbal meme looking at the new girl. The old girl is Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes were drafted after Mitch Trubisky.
The new one is this kid, Max Crosby, who's from Eastern Michigan, who has more sacks for the Raiders than Khalil Mack does this year. He's getting paid like $30,000 on the year.
So that was a mistake. That's the new one.
So John Green was actually smart to get rid of his best player. That's the new hotness that I got to deal with every day.
That's just people looking for an opportunity to to rub salt in the wood. No, it's a Cleo Mack has not been the same guy as last year, but also it's one of those weird things where you never know like how much he's impacting a game even without getting sacked.
Right. The embrace at the end of the game was not great either where it looked like they were both crying and hugging each other.
No, he was whispering. He's like, hey, man.
And Matt Nagy was covering up his mouth and his tears using the play card.

Yeah, this is BU.

And Matt Nagy's whispering to Mitch and saying, hey, man, just so you know,

I had to bench you to try to keep my job.

We're going to say it was a hip injury.

So if you could just do me a solid and walk off the field with a little bit of a limp,

which he didn't do.

That would be awesome because I'm going to go to the press conference later and just say that you were hurt and we didn't want to get you further hurt and you're still our quarterback. Okay, sounds good.
It was a huge event for comparing that embrace to other movies and TV shows too. Like Hank compared it to Daenerys and Jon Snow.
That was sick, dude. That was a good one.
That was a sick reference. You could do it for the Godfather.
I know it was you. Yeah, Fredo.
You could do it for Of Mice and Men when Lenny and George, and he shoots him in the head at the end of it. He squeezes him.
Don't ruin that. It's probably Old Yeller.
More Old Yeller. Just take him out back and shoot him.
It could be Entourage. Hug it out.
Hug it out, bitch. Hug it out, bitch.
That's what we do. Oh, it could be Titanic when Rose is on.
So Matt Nagy is Rose, and she's on the door, and there's definitely room for Mitch to get on there, but he's like, no, just stay in the water. Just stay in the water.
Wait, that would mean Matt Nagy is the coach of the bears for like 80 more years. Yeah.
So he'll be around and then he'll get really old and then he'll, he'll throw his play card into the bottom of the Atlantic. He'll throw his Superbowl ring that he wins next.
He would chase Daniel, man. I'm so sick of this shit.
So my my question is what does matt nagy do well because we've established that he doesn't uh call plays well we've established that he doesn't uh handle the media well dude when he well he does the uh he he has the bu card he has the the the visor and very shiny head nbc did the um which was just salt in the wound they They're like, look at all these fun plays he ran. Dude, he had an unbelievable, he had the best defense in the league last year.
Yeah. And he was hired to be an offensive guy, and it's just, we're going to get to other games where I'll blame guys who don't do well on their side of the ball, so it's only fair of me to say, Matt Nagy, it's your offense, dude.
It's your offense. You know what the funnest play call they had tonight was was when they ran hunt no they well yes they ran they ran a fake like they were going to run a play on fourth down and then they substituted the pump team out yeah and said in the middle of the play that was the funnest thing when you when the most creative your offense gets is running a fake fake punt you've got some problems you know what i just realized the only thing Nagy, actually, no, this won't save him, but this is probably what he was thinking.
He probably did this at the end of the game so that no one would talk about the fact that Eddie Pinero is a joke because Matt Nagy cares way too much about his kicker's psyche so much that it actually like damages the kicker's psyche. But Eddie Pinero, you're a joke too.
And Matt Nagy said he's not going to bring in a new kicker because, I mean, why would you, right? He believes in his guy. Yeah, why would you? The guy can't fucking hit a kick in a game that could have been won if they fucking hit kicks.
I'm just trying to remember what happened exactly because he missed a 47-yarder. Left.
And then. Right.
No, but wait. On their next drive, they decided to go for it on fourth and nine instead of kicking another 48-yarder.
And they showed him. And then on the next drive, they tried a 47-yarder, and they missed that.
So he essentially iced his own kicker for an entire drive. Correct.
Correct. It's the same thing that he did with Mitch.
He's like, I don't have confidence in you. We're going for it on fourth and nine with the offense that I don't have confidence in.
And then the next time around, oh, actually, I going to bring the guy who I just shattered his confidence back on the field to kick. Yeah.
And neither offense looked good tonight either. The Rams didn't look great for the, for the start of the game.
It was just like punt, punt, fumble, punt, punt, punt, punt, miss field goal, punt. It was like a, the, your two biggest hate followers on Instagram, quote, tweeting or quote Instagram Instagram storing each other's stories that

they're each tagged in.

Have you ever seen that where it becomes just like a mirror inside of a mirror of the two

worst people that you follow?

I can't say I do.

Yeah, it's bad.

Okay.

Have you dealt?

Did you deal with something this weekend?

I've seen that a few times.

Yeah.

I've seen that a few times.

Yeah, it was a bad.

I mean, it was exactly kind of how I thought it was going to go.

I thought it was going to be an under where it was just shit, just garbage.

Both offensive lines kind of stink.

Both defenses are good. Let's finish here.
The Bears season is officially over. The Thanksgiving game is going to be the saddest game ever in Detroit.
Jeff Driscoll versus Chase Daniel, possibly. Sorry in advance to America that you have to actually like, because the Thanksgiving game is football on Thanksgiving is supposed to give you something to talk about so you don't have to talk to your family.
When Chase Daniel and Jeff Driscoll face off in Detroit, you're going to just have to talk about whether you're going to get pregnant in the next year or whether you're thinking about going back to law school. Both solid notes for me.
Right, or that girl that you've been bringing around, why haven't you popped the question? All those things are going to be on the table when Jeff Driscoll and Chase Daniel face off so I kind of disagree with you on that one because to me when I think Thanksgiving football I think just disaster Lions teams that is like a nice familiar bit of nostalgia for me it's like parking my ass on the couch and watching the Lions score six points that's thanksgiving but here's the thing when you when you're watching thanksgiving football and family members come around they if they can sense it's actually a meaningful game they kind of leave you alone or they'll try to get in on the game when they can see that it's just garbage that's when it's like okay well there's no point for you to be watching this that's kind of you should talk me. So as an NFC North person, you probably kind of dealt with that more than I did.
In my mind, the Lions game is background noise while I'm frying the turkey, while I'm helping with the mashed potatoes or whatever. It's nice to have football on in the background.
You've got to watch the fat guy in the pilgrim suit fall asleep in Detroit. Yeah, so I know that it's about time for me to start focusing on football.
Once they bring out the turducken. Yeah.
Once that makes its appearance, then I'm like, yeah, now I got to turn the volume up. All right.
So we'll finish here. The bear season is completely done.
They need a new quarterback and I think they need a new coach. And the whole thing has become a complete disaster.
Basically the worst possible scenario, but in a weird way, ultimately the most bears thing possible. Because if you look at the Bears history, it is marked by little blips of success followed by back down to the toilet.
Like, that's what the Chicago Bears are. So, I'm not surprised, even though it sucks.
And I can't believe this team has bought them out so fast, but I'm not surprised. Jeff Fisher.
Why not? He's going to be a coach at Vanderbilt. Oh, that's breaking moves.
Well, we're going to start that rumor soon. Okay, we'll consider it started right now.
Urban? Would you take Urban? Urban Meyer? No, I have morals. Oh, yeah.
But? Yeah, no. Yeah, you can absolutely take it.
How mad do you think Ryan Pace was when he was up in that glass cage of emotion at the end of the game and he was just like staring down at Matt Nagy? He kind of looks like Mitch, too. Every time I see him, I think that it's like Mitch's uncle.
Right. And he drives a Camry, 1997.
I mean, Ryan Pace should be. Do you ever wish that maybe Mitch just wish he had driven a slightly better car? Yeah.
Yes. Everything would have been different.
Everything could have been different if he had an Avalon. If Mitch Trubisky drove a Toyota Avalon, then Negu would be like, that's the upscale model.
That's pretty sweet. That's too flashy for me.
Ryan Pace isn't absolved here either because people forget Ryan Pace's whole solution before he drafted Mitch Trubisky, the guy he fell in love with, was Mike Glennon and giving him a bunch of money. So let's not pretend that Ryan Pace is completely free of guilt.
No, but wouldn't Ryan Pace? So he's looking down at his coach benching Mitch Trubisky in the fourth quarter. His love of his life.
Yeah, to him, that's like Nagy is trying to be the last one alive on that life raft. He's made the call to kill.
Oh, it's Survivor. Yeah, he's made the call to kill Pace in his sleep and go ahead and take that competition out of it because they had like the biggest ruse going.
As long as Mitch was still starting, there was still hope for Mitch, then the draft pick was not a bust yet. Correct.
And Pace could save his ass. This is what dysfunctional teams do.
They have people who all have to go at each other to try to save each other's jobs, save own job and instead of working together they're trying to just save their own job and it all just falls apart but that's all right i'm i'm done with that let's move on let's have some fun week 11 was it sucks that this was a sunday night game well we need to do your fucking national televised disaster is always worse i mean let's just give a shout out as bad as this was for the bears this was a huge night for a guy, Blake. Blake had probably the best reception of the night.
No, seriously, he did. He got up in the air.
His hat was on. I don't want to say tight end, but yeah, you got a good camera on him.
He looks good. He looked really good.
Hands for days. Okay.
Let's start. We'll go back in time.
We'll go to Detroit. We just talked about it.
I I actually had it written down this is going to be the saddest Thanksgiving game Cowboys 35 Lions uh 20 I'm all bad I'm bad with my scores today uh I think the line oh they had 27 um the Cowboys let's start with the Cowboys still don't know who they are because they're five and one against losing teams it is a team they should have won all I know is that Dak Prescott is very very good and silently getting himself into the MVP conversation he had 444 yards and afterwards he said he's never had more time in the pocket which we'll talk about Matt Patricia's defense in a second but that's not a good sign he's made himself a shitload of money this year so far and they kept cutting away to Jerry Jones this was an all-time Jerry Jones cutaway game where they'd show him after every single time Dak made a good play and Jerry to his credit I think Jerry wants to pay him Jerry would be delighted to give Dak the biggest contract ever in fact that's probably what he hopes happens even if Dak doesn't deserve the biggest quarterback contract of all time. Jerry wants to say, like, with the Dallas Cowboys, we have the most expensive quarterback in the history of the NFL.
He wants to, like, pop out of a cake with a huge check. Yes, he wants.
And be like, this is it. We have the number one guy.
Yeah, so he's just excited that Dak is making him less and less and less insane-looking, where he does decide to cut him that check for $250 million 250 million dollars speaking of quarterbacks we had on sunday jeff driscoll signed himself to five more years in the nfl he has done enough as a backup quarterback he has done exactly what you hope if you're a backup quarterback and your number gets called you do just enough that forever for the next five six seven years people will say jeff driscoll he's a pretty good backup. He's got the moxie.
Yeah, he absolutely has the moxie. I forget what the spread was in this game.
It was seven. It was seven.
Seven and a half. So it was a push.
No, no, no. The Cowboys won by eight.
Oh, they won by eight. Okay.
I was going to say, because when you're a backup, you're essentially playing against the spread. Yes.
That's your job is to just cover. And if you can cover, then you are a qualified backup in this league.
But he did enough and daryl bevel has enough uh going on offense that now should we talk about matt patricia can we say things about matt patricia they played scrappy today yeah they were their defense gave up so many yards and one of the best off again should i say dak prescott said he's never had more time they have a great offensive line they do they've got a lot of big. Also, Bo Scarborough, the running back for the Lions, I like him.
I think this is his first start. He's bounced around the league a little bit.
He's built like a phone booth, and he's just a guy that you don't want to try to tackle. He's got a great name.
Yeah, Bo Scarborough. Great name.
Is he a Michigan guy? He sounds like he should be. I'm just going to declare that, no, he went to Michigan.
I think he was three years old. If Matt Stafford starts this game, the Lions probably win.
What? If Matt Stafford starts this game, the Lions probably win. He was Alabama.
Okay, three-year starter Michigan. Got it.
Yeah, he's from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. As Alabama as it gets.
Uh-huh. So, I have a stat for you then, Hank.
Last 26 games for Jim Caldwell, 15-11. First 26 games for Matt Patricia, matt patricia 9 16 and 1 so what are you doing i don't know what are you doing he's rebuilding i i probably am am too trigger happy when it comes to coaches right now in the state i'm in and you you probably shouldn't switch after two years but it feels like the defense should be better that's all i'm gonna say i'm not saying Matt Patricia should lose his job.
I just think I'm speaking for Lions fans right now, and I know Lions fans feel that way, that their defense is not good, and you hired a guy to make the defense good, and the offense has been good enough to win games. Yeah, I would be frustrated if I were having to deal with Patricia, but the fact is they didn't lose this game in a heartbreaking fashion it was just kind of a normal run of the mill loss for the Lions which is as good as a win for their fan base it's like okay yeah that sucked we're used to this at least they didn't get fucked by the refs at least they didn't get screwed by like a weird obscure rule at the very end of some weird chapter that just got written by Mike Pereira they didn't get fucked over by a Hail Mary so.
So it's like it's a normal loss for the Lions. Just go home.
Yeah. Randall Cobb, by the way, has turned back the clock.
He had four catches, 115 yards, and that pisses me off. Randall Cobb is now good again.
And the Cowboys, I don't know what to make of the Cowboys. I think they have a tough schedule down the stretch.
And I think even the Eagles losing today, the Eagles probably have the inside track because they have a lot easier of a schedule in the last game the last cowboys eagles game is in philly but the cowboys offense like they have so many weapons i'm glad they're so good their defense just their defense can't hang as much i'm glad that you brought up the eagles because everything that dak does you have to compare to what carson wince does correct they always going to be compared. Right now, I'd say Dak probably has the leg up on Carson.
Yeah. I would much rather have Dak on my team than Carson Wentz right now.
It doesn't help that Carson Wentz has no wide receivers that can stay healthy. Or catch the ball.
Yeah, or catch the ball. We'll get there.
Okay. How about Jason Garrett? He met with the team this week, with the Cowboys, and basically apologized to him.
So this goes back to the whole Kirk Cousins apology spreading thing. He got beat by Kirk Cousins in primetime, and then he had a players-only meeting with Jason Garrett where he just said to all of them, hey, guys, I'm sorry.
I ruined a lot of stuff for you guys. I'm taking responsibility.
I ran the ball with Zeke Elliott even though Dak was having the best game ever. Yeah, so the key right now, if you want to win in the NFL, is find somebody to say you're sorry to.
Yeah, I like that. I like that.
So Jason Garrett still probably going to get fired. I feel like unless they win the Super Bowl, and even if they win the Super Bowl, Jerry might fire him.
Yep. And just be like, you know what? It's time for a change.
Yeah, he likes moving things in and out. It just feels like this is, Jerry's getting itchy.
Mm-hmm. You know? Okay.
Next up, Jaguars-Colts. Let's start with a Trey Wingo tweet that didn't happen, but I know he wanted to.
How could you bench Uncle Rico for Napoleon Dynamite? Yeah. Trey Wingo definitely wanted to tweet that.
He thought about that. He thought about tweeting that, but that was Nick Foles' comeback game that was basically one good drive, and then it sucked.
Mm- brissette it was his comeback game too yes so he looks really did you know that his unofficial agent is bill parcells i did yes i knew they were like best friends in like florida they they met yeah so he jacoby brissette doesn't have an agent because in his words he doesn't want anybody else bullshitting on his behalf so he negotiated his whole contract with the Colts by himself with the aid and advisement of Bill Parcells, which is such a funny conversation to imagine happening. Well, especially because Jacoby Percet probably went to his meeting with a big cowboy hat and was like, let's take our belts off and let's negotiate.
Let's do it. The best play of this game was a play that that didn't count which is quentin nelson's one yard touchdown run that got taken off the board but the celebration stands forever yes he did a cake stand it took like five people to lift him up in the air i think it's almost better that it didn't count because it's like it's it stands even more now it's more memorable right for sure and i was just i was looking at that and thinking dear god how many beers do you think Quentin Nelson could drink? And once it probably like probably 70 or 80, a weight bogsy in amount of beer would be consumed by that man.
He has like a, he has like a six pack. I've never seen someone who is as big and strong as him and like has to put on weight to be an offensive lineman and still be as ripped.
So maybe I would see him just not drinking beer because he's just, all he to do is pancake people yeah but that's the easiest way to put on weight though true is just making just drinking beer and eating literal pancakes yes the only downside to having him run the ball is he's not there to block for himself in front of himself right which is why he didn't get into the end zone and and credit to uh the colts for being like hey we're just gonna run the ball and run ball and run the ball some more. I think they had, was it 250 or 264 rushing yards.
Yeah. That's insane.
It is crazy. In like today's NFL, I kind of love it.
The Colts are a throwback team where Jacoby Brissett is good. I think they did that because Jacoby Brissett's coming back from his injury and they're like, we don't want to put too much stress on him.
But it does feel like the Colts can just go and go hat on hat, man up football when they want to. Yeah.
That makes me so happy. Yeah, it does.
Right? Doesn't it? Yeah. I saw you tweet this out earlier today about how when you went to St.
Elmo's, you asked him what Andrew Luck ordered. Hank was there.
Remember that, Hank? And he orders the chicken. We're in the Peyton Manning room downstairs in the basement.
It was five years ago. Not a big deal big deal and we not a big deal uh i think burger king had paid for us to be there and uh we we were sitting there and the waitress was like we asked like oh so this is peyton manning room so you used to always come down here she's like yep like so does andrew luck come here now she's like oh yeah he comes not as much as peyton is like what does he order he Yeah.
Nervous little bird. Nervous little bird.
That's right. Harbaugh was 100% corrected.
What do you think? Percet orders. He probably just gets only shrimp.
Only the shrimp cocktail. I would say he gets or he does like bone in bone in ribeye and then eats it with his hands.
Yeah. Like he's he's a man's man.
Quinn Nelson wears the helmet. Yeah.
Brings his own cow in. Yes.
He's like, I'm going to kill this at my table if that's fine. Mind if I cut this cow's neck real quick and bleed it out? Yeah.
Yeah. So that's what the Colts are now.
They have whatever you are in the NFL. If you don't have the most talent, which the Colts don't, as long as you have an identity, you can win.
Yeah. Like they have an identity.
They know what they want to do. Their identity is basicallyentin nelson is going to act like he's in a bar fight against the worst frat at your school right and just run around shoving five guys over and then and then baldy uh watches the tape on monday and just keeps nuts coming and coming and coming yeah yeah he just gets so excited um okay so now the colts are now first in the af South.
And I think they're playing Thursday night against Houston, right? Ooh. Yeah.
Okay. Loser leaves town.
Definitely. And the Jags, I don't know what you do.
I was all in favor of starting Nick Foles because you kind of have to because of what you're paying him. But he was bad after the first touchdown.
I missed my Uncle Rico, man. Yeah.
Me and Trey. Damn.
I really did. I missed it missed gardner minshu say what you want about him but he he makes sundays a little more special around my house it was also pretty weird that the jags i think they ran the ball like nine times which is the opposite of the cults it just felt felt i don't know maybe they were like hey we have nick foals back he can do everything let him air it out a little bit yeah or maybe they realized that leonard furnette is just getting lucky recently with his long runs by the way did you see was it jamal adams and leonard furnette got into this league off yeah that was on friday i think it was uh what was leonard saying no it was during it was because of the lsu uh alabama fight it's on monday night that's where it started oh i thought it was i thought it was thursday because of the miles gareth thing it was yeah yeah and leonard for leonard furnette said that jamal ad faked an injury or the other way around.
I think maybe Jamal Adams said that Leonard Fournette faked an injury. We're doing a terrible job of retelling this, but you get it.
The bottom line is it was guys busting each other's balls. Yeah, bottom line is.
It's beautiful to watch. The NFL can do this league, too.
Leonard Fournette said Jamal Adams was hiding during a party at LSU. And then Jamal Adams said, coming from the guy that quit on our team and faked an injury.
And then Leonard Fournette was like, well, I still went fourth overall. So it was just, but like, it was all kind of fair.
Yeah. All right.
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Not during Monday nights, I hope. That's not true yet.
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Okay, let's do Bill's Dolphins next.

Bill's, this, guys, you ready for this?

This was the Josh Allen game.

It was huge.

This was his best game as a pro,

and I want to take this moment to pat ourselves on the back. We nailed it.
We nailed it. Quick pat.
Hit it. Hit it.
Hit it. We told the Bills to draft Josh Allen.
They listened, and they're reaping the rewards right now in the form of a double-digit victory at the Dolphins. He had three touchdowns.
And a rushing touchdown. After that game, do you think Brian Flores pulled his kicker side and was like, hey, if you ever do a fucking onside kick in a game that I'm trying to lose, I will kill you.
That was my say something nice about the Dolphins. It was an awesome onside kick.
And it was the second one that's been recovered all season. It was a great onside kick, but it really accomplished if I'm their coach or I'm the GM of the gm of the dolphins if they even have one i'm mad that we're trying that hard to win a game i think the the the kicker recovering his own onside kick is one of the most electric plays in football because you don't know what to do afterwards it never happens right it happens like you get to see it once every few years where it's just perfect and he did it perfectly the downside to record to recovering your own onside kick as a kicker is in the immediate aftermath usually get like a hip bump or like a shoulder bump or something from one of your own players that knocks you down onto the ground yeah because and then you look like a wuss yeah you recover internal yeah and then you get up and you do like a jump up and then get smoked and then you get smoked by your own dramatic yourself yeah exactly i exactly.
I would crawl off the field if I was a kicker in that situation. Josh Allen has five straight games with two touchdowns and zero interceptions.
Now, that could also be rushing, not just passing. Sure.
One of them, he had zero touchdowns passing, but two rushing. But either way, I feel like this is the Josh Allen is like starting to show it.
and it feels exciting for the bills and i have a question for you pft the bills are now seven and three best record since 1993 this far into the season or 1999 sorry this far into the season okay the teams they have beaten i don't i don't care it's hard to win all right so yeah yeah so they're legit yeah Yeah. Wait, you said seven wins? Seven and three.
Okay, so they beat seven NFL teams. That are a combined 15 and 55.
Agreed. They beat seven NFL teams.
They're legit. The Bills are legit.
I looked at their schedule, too. We do this every week with the Bills.
We look ahead. But it doesn't matter.
We're like, there's no way that they can keep playing this type of schedule. And they're not going to.
think they're going to win three more games i if you're a bills fan i think you're well within your right to just say to openly admit it's all here we haven't beaten anyone we don't care seven and three is seven and three you are sometimes you're you're basically playing like the big 10 west schedule you get to beat up on on like purdue Purdue and well, Nebraska. I don't want to be mean to Nebraska.
I've been trying not to be mean to Nebraska. But you get to beat up on some people and then you get to say, look at us.
We're awesome. Listen, you can only play who they schedule you.
So if you want to go back and talk 10 years in the future, we can talk about scheduling some more difficult out-of-conference opponents for the Bills. When the Bills scheduled Florida State, they were still good.
Exactly. They didn't know they were going to hire Willie Taggart.
It's not their fault. Exactly.
That's a brand name. That's a marquee program.
The Miami Dolphins, they are the only NFL team to go undefeated. True.
And the Bills scheduled them for two games. They've got no fear when it comes to this.
So, yeah, they can only play who they're going to play. I will say this about the Dolphins.
Ryan Fitzpatrick still looks like he's got some zip on the ball. Yeah.
Yeah, Devontae Parker's not bad. Every time they say his name, I'm like, oh, yeah, he's good.
The stadium looks like a great place to take a nap. Yeah, it's going to host yeah i can't wait that's that'll be say something nice about the dolphins do you have anything nice about the dolphins say hank the kick was great the kick was great was great it was great to watch i bet the dolphins money line and i they had a chance no no not really no don't go too chosh allen just they never absolutely plugged up their blowhole with his dick and you're not breathing.
They were never even close. But that's okay.
You tried to say something nice. I have noticed about Josh Allen.
He scores a lot of touchdowns on rushes where he sticks the ball out with his giant hands that everyone said, oh, it's not a big deal. He's got over 10-inch hands.
Well, guess what? He's just grazing the pylons so many times over the course of a season. He probably gets two extra touchdowns a year because his hands are slightly bigger yeah when Derek Carr and Josh Allen see each other at the Pro Bowl Derek Carr is definitely going to be like can you just put your hands right over mine for a second yeah quick let's just take this picture like uh always sunny yeah all right so the Bills are seven and three feeling good uh again doesn't matter who they play who cares who also awesome.
Yes. That was a great, great job by the Bills.
He's awesome. What did Warren Sharpe say? They went the opposite way.
They just got small, fast wide receivers instead of big wide receivers. To run underneath Josh Allen's balls.
Yeah, that's brilliant. It's very brilliant.
Okay. Next up, let's do the historic game.
I'm about the broncos and vikings because we had the this is the game where when you sit and tell yourself they're statistically do this is this is the game we're talking about it uh teams were oh and 99 excuse me when trailing by 20 or more at half and kirk cousins asins, as a Viking, was 0-10-1 when trailing in the fourth quarter. And the Vikings won.
They came back from 20 points at halftime. They won this game.
Kirk Cousins has his feel-good game. Holy shit.
Are the Vikings good? I'm starting to believe in the Vikings. And I know it's crazy.
You've done changed them. But I apologize to them.
It's true, you did. And then I asked if the Vikings fans should apologize to me for asking me to apologize to them.
Well, this is my other apology that I'm making right now. I am a believer in the Minnesota Vikings.
I still have a lot of questions about Kirk Cousins, but I'm kind of believing in them now because this game right here, this is the exact game that Minnesota Vikings would be on the other side of.

This is the exact type of heartbreak that the Vikings franchise has dealt with consistently.

And the fact that maybe they've just seen it happen so many times to them

that they finally learned how to win that exact game.

But a win like this, that's something that you can actually build on.

That's a good point.

And it also, if not a comeback loss like the Broncos suffered, the Vikings at least, the old Vikings, would have just rolled over and died. They would have come out in the second half and it would have been more of the same.
I think of that game they lost last year to the Bills when there were 17-point favorites at home. They're 10.5-point favorites today.
And whatever it is, I't know what it is but this vikings team does feel a little bit different and kirk cousins we're going to say some nice things about kirk he has been awesome this year he's been really good he has 18 touchdowns and three interceptions uh he's won a big game prime time game he won today so i'm very excited to bet against him in the playoffs but everything else is nice that's actually a really nice thing to say about kirk that's right somewhere implying that he's going to make the playoffs well my favorite thing is um when when teams win that i've maybe not been like nice to because well either they're my rival or whatever always say, like, put a gun to my head and be like,

say something nice about Kirk Cousins.

Say something nice about the Vikings.

So I said that.

I said, Kirk Cousins has been phenomenal this year,

and I am so excited to bet against him in the playoffs.

So excited.

Kirk Cousins has played exceptionally well after sneaking up on Adam Thielen in his sleep and slicing his hamstring just a little bit with a scalpel

after the brouhaha they had together. Yeah, Kirk's been good.
I still don't think he's a great quarterback, but the Vikings are playing well. Mike Zimmer laughed in the press conference afterwards.
Now, there are certain things that a head coach like Mike Zimmer will laugh about in a press conference. One is coaches will laugh about their wives being mad at them a lot.
You're allowed to laugh about that. You're allowed to laugh at a reporter asking a question where they don't know what they're talking about from a football stance.
And then you're allowed to laugh at the fact that that game just took years off your life, and you're probably going to die sooner because of it. And that's what he went with this time.
Don't forget the one dark horse. If a fire alarm goes off or someone walks in, opens a door that they shouldn't open yeah i can laugh at that yeah yeah that's like blooper that's a classic that's like yeah it's slapstick when it comes for head coaches they can they can recognize that moment and be like oh i should laugh this is unusual yeah this is crazy uh should we talk about the broncos i've got a quote here okay because i have a have a quote too.
I have one question. Where is Drew Locke? Good question.
Because there was an interview, I think it was Vaughn Miller said this after practice. He said, Drew Locke is going to kill it.
He's going to kill it. He's got everything you need.
The other day he ran out and did a little bootleg and kind of threw it. It was an incomplete pass, but I've seen a lot of good ones play, and that was probably the best incomplete pass that i've ever seen thrown so drew lock sounds like he might be the answer in denver okay so that's i love that quote and i was gonna say john elway this is the worst case scenario for the broncos because the broncos have now had four losses of four points or less and four losses where they've been leading in the fourth quarter so John Elway can reasonably tell himself they're right there uh-huh they're just so close like the pieces are there they're gonna be fine except for Vic Fangio who I don't know if you saw there was an article this week that Vic Fangio is maybe losing the locker room yeah and the quote was he doesn't have great people skills and that is the biggest oh you think of all time that vic vic fanjo was never hired for his people skills he's been a defensive coordinator for like basically 85 years and he's only 60 and so he was hired to be grumpy and to not get along with anyone and hopefully coach the hell out of the defense so i it's just interesting that they hired vic fangio and then in a matter of a half a season they're like hey this guy's this guy's not really like he doesn't really say like hey hey what's up or how's your wife or hey you know got any plans for the weekend he's kind of grumpy about it yeah no It's Vic Fangio.
Yeah, he hired Bill Belichick's personality without all the winning that goes along with it. Right.
Yeah, if you hire a grumpy guy and you're winning football games, you're adorable. Yes.
You're so grumpy, you're adorable. You're like, look how mad he is, even though he should be happy right now.
But if you're just grumpy and the team's bad, then it becomes a shitstorm. But John Elway did give him a vote of confidence after the game.
Oh, nice. So Elway's got his back.
which elway might not have a vote of confidence uh but that's good you just pass it around he doesn't have a vote of confidence to give this is well no he might he might be i i'm pretty sure once the ownership situation gets figured out once bill gates buys which is elway giving his confidence to because the that person doesn't have confidence in la the fans don't have confidence inway, but Elway has used his confidence of just being John Elway to then give it to Vic Fangio. That's the only vote that he has.
Right. Of his own confidence.
He's a very confident man. But no one has confidence in Elway.
So he's basically just passing around confidence that he doesn't have. So he's printing fiat confidence.
Correct. And there's nothing in the Federal Reserve of confidence.
Yes. There's no actual gold confidence backing that up.
It's the picture of, like, Germany right before the recession when it's just, like, the little kids sitting with bundles of cash. Well, that ended well, so I'm sure this will be fine, too.
That's John Elway right now. He's sitting in his office with bundles of fake confidence that he keeps printing.
It's pre-World War II Germany right now in Denver, colorado i wouldn't be shocked if john elway was like said to his secretary who absolutely calls hun and he was like hun can you go go to the printer real quick and print me some more of that confidence that i got and she's just printing off sheets that literally say john elway's confidence yeah and he's handing them out left and right as people come into the facility yeah he's got the real expensive ones the real uh pricey confidence. He frames and then gives them people to be like, hang this one on your wall.
That one's worth its weight in gold. So he's got Brandon Allen, who he doesn't have a vote of confidence in because Brandon Allen is but 6'2".
And too many Allens. And too many Allens going on.
We'll talk about Kyle Allen in a minute. But the Allens are...
Josh, we have Josh. Josh is good.
Josh is Allen one. And the other ones, I think it's enough is enough.
Yes. And then they've got Flacco, who you want to talk about a guy that's getting old yellered and taken out back right now.
Yeah. Flacco is at the end of his leash.
Maybe the Chicago Bears will take him. That would fit in perfectly.
It would be great for my health. Just another bridge quarterback for the next year.
Just knock off a couple more years on my health. Yeah.
And then you can laugh about that too because you're a football guy like Mike Zimmer. Then they've got Drew Locke and Drew Locke I think is healthy now but he's not playing.
And throwing great incompletions. Throwing insanely good incompletions.
Okay, so the Broncos are a mess. So what we've figured out from all this is that the Vikings are good and the Broncos are a complete disaster.
Yes. Okay, next up.
Let's go Saints-Bucks. Saints-34, Bucks-17.
PFT, I have the SeatGeek question for you. By the way, we're on BarstoolGold, BarstoolGold.com.
You can watch us break down all of Week 11 on BarstoolGold.com. Okay, PFT, the SeatGeek question.
Promo code TAKE. $10 off.
You can go watch an NFL game. Go to the Thanksgiving game.
Promo code TAKE. $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
I bet you the game, like the Bears line is going to be a $9 ticket. Yes.
So they'll pay you to go if you put in promo code T. How many interceptions does Jameis Winston have this season? 17.
all right 18 and 10 games he had another four today now the back interception that I that wasn't Jameis's fault but I think Jameis has gotten to the point where he's like your unlucky friend who nothing's really his fault but he keeps like you know getting fired from his job and you know has girl problems and uh his car breaks down all the time it's like and then when his car breaks down he takes an uber and he finds the one uber driver that doesn't want to be hit on by him right exactly that kind of thing exactly so he is that friend who's like, yeah, you know, if things were different,

maybe it would work out.

But right now you're just unlucky.

There's a lot of stuff that adds up, and it can't all be bad luck.

Right.

There's got to be something else behind that.

The back interception where the guy –

Explain it so that people didn't watch the game.

So he threw a pass.

Who was it?

Was it O.J. that caught it?

I think it might have been O.J. Howard.

And then O.J. puts it behind his back as he's bobbling it, and then it bounces off his back, and he gets tackled, and the Saints recover it.
They're the Harlem Globetrotters of turning the ball over. They have the most spectacular fumbles and interceptions of any team I've seen in a long time.
It's very entertaining. Jameis was squinting again.
He was big-time squinting. He was squinting big-time.
Doesn't help that he plays in Florida. People sayida people say like oh it's so cool patrick mahomes those no look pass uh jamis winston throws every pass no look because he can't see the field and not see uh so i was looking it up because i was hoping that jamis winston could get the record for interceptions in a season what do you think the record is for interceptions in a season it's gotta be far right nope well so there's a pre-super bowl era and then a post-super bowl era how could you the pre-super bowl era has got to be like four because they passed the ball six times again no no no i found some shit george blanda who's a hall of famer mind you yeah in uh the year 1962 in a 14 game season how many interceptions did he have? 14 games.
I don't know. It's got to be a lot then.
30? 42. What the fuck, Blanda? Dude, I was shocked when I saw this.
And ready for the craziest part? The team went 11-3. And he threw 42.
How many touchdowns did he throw? He had 20. I don't know.
He finished his George Blanda. Here was my favorite game.
Week 7, he went 8 for 18, 104 yards, 0 touchdowns, 6 interceptions. He had 42 interceptions.
George Blanda, by the way, is our new guy for any Hall of Fame case we want to make. James Winston is a Hall of Famer.
George George Bland is a Hall of Famer because he went 53-50 as a quarterback, 236 touchdowns, 277 interceptions. That is insane.
George Bland had 42 interceptions in a 14-game schedule. He had six interceptions in two games.
So I'm looking on Pro Football Reference right now. They actually have it graded out by fantasy points for him too, kind of like how we're talking about with Jerry Rice.
So he had a number of games that were like negative one, four points, two points, and they were a fucking good team. That's crazy.
Yeah, the 11-3. Unbelievable.
Yeah, Jameis. It must have been punts.
I don't know. Maybe that's what punts were back in the day.
You just punted instead of interceptions. We always say you learn more from a turnover than you do from a touchdown.
So Blanda learned a shitload, and then he got good and became a Hall of Famer. Jameis is just storing up all this knowledge that he's gaining from throwing in these interceptions.
Yeah, so the post-Super Bowl or the Super Bowl era is Vinny Tessaverde in 1988. He had 35 interceptions.
Shout out, Vinny. 35.
So we're probably not going to get there with Jameis. I was hoping when I saw it, I was like, man, this would be great if Jameis could just get us a record.
Because imagine week 16 and 17 watching Jameis try to get the record. That would be thrilling.
But I don't think he's getting – so we have hope maybe if he goes crazy here in the end, he could maybe break Vinny Tessaverde's Super Bowl-era 35 interceptions, but I don't know. Wait, is he on pace to break that? No, 18 interceptions in 10 games.
Okay. We're going to need you to crank it up a little bit here, Jameis.
He's going to need to give us... Start taking some chances, Jameis.
And it actually... The only reason it could happen is I think Bruce Arians loves Jameis Winston.
He loves throwing the ball deep, and he's never going to stop throwing the ball deep. Bruce Arians probably just looks at Jameis Winston like assisted suicide, where he's like, I got a C on my last physical that I took.
I thought that was really good. If Jameis can just keep throwing interceptions, then I'll achieve my lifelong goal of just passing away on the sidelines and a smile on my face.
Yeah, he's going to do it for me. Thank you, Jameis.
You're the perfect quarterback for it uh he also threw a pass left-handed completed yes that was that was a real shocker yeah so good job and then as for the saints uh i feel like the saints this is a big game just answering the bell because everyone's like what's going on with the saints why they lose the falcons they absolutely pasted the bucks here and that's what they should have done it was a little handshake deal from Bruce Arians to Sean Payton saying hey thanks for letting the Falcons beat you and ensuring an extension for Dan Quinn so we'll let you run roughshod on us today yeah uh the Bucs jerseys were too red today yeah and also much red I don't like my eye I don't like the uh the numbers yeah the clock looks like it's yeah like, like a digital clock. Yep.
There are two things I,

that I will stand on the table and defend to my death hating.

And that is the,

the alarm clock numbers that remind me too much of waking up in the morning

on the bucks jerseys.

And then the Apple commercial where it has the sound of your alarm going off

and I hear it and I,

it just makes my blood pressure rise. I fucking hate that.
You should not be allowed to do a fake alarm in a commercial. It's genius.
It always gets your attention. I hate it.
It always gets your attention. That and orange vanilla Coke.
Remember that? Oh, yeah. That was the worst.
I wish that Michael Thomas would stand out a little bit for something that he does because he's so good. Yeah.
But he doesn't. If you ask me what is one thing that Michael Thomas does really well? My answer to you is going to be route running.
And that's my answer when I don't know what he does really well. Catching.
He's got good hands. And he's a great ball skills.
Great route runner. But I can't.
Finds the ball. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head what he is the best in the league at.
But he is. He's.
He's. Yes.
He's got the best. 90 catches through 10 games.
He's the best catcher. He's a ball hog.
It's easy. Yeah, he's just great catcher.
He's always open and always catches the ball. Yeah, so the Saints are back on track.
Back in the conversation for best team in the NFC. I don't know.
I feel like all the NFC teams, we talk about it at the end, but they're all a little bit flawed. Saints, Vikings, Seahawks, 49ers.

Packers.

Packers.

I don't know.

I could look at them like, maybe.

I guess every team, though.

The only team right now that feels almost untouchable is the Ravens.

We'll get to them in a second.

Agreed.

Only team.

I mean, the Patriots have some offensive line issues.

That's all I'll say.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right. Jets, Redskins.
Sam Darnold. Back.
Back. Run the table.
Needed to play a bad team. They did it.
Run the table. Yo, if they beat the Raiders, this is similar to my, if the Bears beat the Rams, it opens the portal.
If they beat the Raiders next week, Raiders have to go to new york always tough time clock they got the bangles and the dolphins they could quickly become six and seven they could and you don't know then the table might get ran i have a question for you big cat yeah and i don't know the answer to this so maybe you will has an interim head coach ever been fired bill bryan should should callahan callahan sorry bill bryan also should you really hate the. I'm not a fan of the Irish.
Well, Bill Bryan should have been fired a long time ago. Yeah, so I don't.
I'm in a firing frenzy right now. I'm ready to fire everyone.
Yeah, you're lashing out. I really am.
It feels good to just be like, fire that guy. Fire that guy.
It's really the only outlet a fan has. Uh-huh.
It's just be like, fire him. Shit can him.
Fire that guy. Callahan is not going to get fired because it really wouldn't accomplish anything, except maybe you elevate Rob Ryan or Jim Tomsula to head coach.
Yeah, so fun. To interim, interim head coach.
Yeah. That would be a perfect job title for Jim Tomsula to have, considering the other jobs that he's had.
Assistant, yeah. What was one like cat salesman? He was like auto mechanic.
Yeah. I think he was like a cat vomit cleaner upper.
Cat wrangler. Something with cats.
An interim, interim head coach position for Jim Tom would be pretty solid. I like that.
The Redskins are just trash. Here's how bleak things are for this franchise.
You ready? They tried to get a sell the team chant going in the stadium, but there weren't enough people in the stands to make it happen. It's so funny.
Which is a great job by Dan Snyder. He's made himself immune to receiving criticism from his own fan base because it's three quarters filled with opposing teams' fans every weekend.
Genius. So I addressed this last week, but I'm obsessed with teams that are losing or teams that are bad having to hop on Twitter and tweet something good that happened.
Today's teams that are bad that tweeted something good that happened came from the Redskins when they scored down 34-3 in the fourth quarter and they just used a bunch of exclamation points and then got roasted online well i mean it's so awesome to be fair i think we had gone 15 quarters without a touchdown at that point since october 13th yeah it had been fifth it had been 35 calendar days since the redskins last touchdown yes and you could take that and add 14 more onto it uh if you don't count the miami dolphins touchdowns. Because those are really asterisks as well.
Right. But, yeah, it's been a tough season, tough offensive season.
So I have the fix for the Washington Redskins. That doesn't include Dan Snyder selling the team because he never is.
The Redskins should draft Tua. That would fix it all? Hold on.
hold on. Great history of quarterbacks keeping their lower legs very healthy.
Tua is probably not going to... I would imagine he's not going to be 100% healthy for next year.
If you draft Tua, you have now two shots at the franchise quarterback situation here because Dwayne Haskins is bad, but I also am like he's pretty much in the worst possible situation. It's kind of Josh Rosen last year where can we accurately figure this out when he doesn't have a coach and it's like it's a whole shit show.
If he doesn't get broken through this year, I will be shocked. I don't know if you saw him trying to give a pump-up speech to the offensive line today.
He's like, come on, guys, we for you that sort of thing and the offensive line just looked at him like dude you this is washington he had an awesome throw his best throw as a pro and then it was immediately called back for holding yep um but if they draft tua and then tua you you can sit tua next year let him get 100 healthy see if duane haskins is the guy when you bring in a new coach and then if he's not you now have you didn't just say oh well Dwayne Haskins is going to be fine we'll just walk you know we'll just let this high pick go when we have a guy who could be awesome but it's hurt like it's a perfect storm they could put two on ice for a year training staff I know I know I know I know. But I'm just saying, this is a smart team would do something like this.
We're like, hey, we just drafted a guy, but we can now get a guy maybe at a discount. I don't think you understand just how bad of a situation it would be.
So in addition to the training staff, which is misdiagnosing cancer in their players for five years in a row, and the field that he would have to play on, that would be like the Amsterdam Admirals drafting Josh Gordon it's fine it would be a bad situation I'm telling you though I would rather if you're a Redskins fan I'd rather take to a let him sit for a year and then draft a guy who's like you know what he's probably in three years gonna be really good and then demand a trade I don't't know. I don't know.
I don't want to see that happen.

Can we?

Okay.

So I had a question for you, PFT, as well for this game.

Oh, one other thing.

Jamal Adams is like why you don't trade your awesome players,

even if they're pissed off because he's fucking awesome.

He had three sacks.

He had three sacks today. But he's awesome.

And that's why, like, if your best player says, oh, I don't want to be here, just do whatever you can to make sure that they're happy. That's what you do.
I took a picture when Robbie Anderson scored a touchdown. He basically went in the crowd, and next to him was a guy wearing a Jets helmet, fully strapped up.
So my question is, rank these fans. Helmet, strapped up helmet fan, face paint fan, receiver gloves fan.
Okay, I'm going to go face paint fan number one on there because you can always take a helmet off. It takes you at least like 30 minutes to get your face cleaned off entirely.
Yeah. And when you have the face paint paint on you probably have to stop in a store or like run some errands at some point in your day while you're still wearing the face paint and that's just like a laugh out loud funny situation for me yeah like a guy running into his bank to like drop off his paycheck while he's all he's got like the zubaz coloring on the face um he's got like a little in his in his like sideburn he's got a little bit of paint still there on tuesday yeah justin trudeau has given numerous state of the union speeches with like some polish and sideburns uh so then i'm going number two helmet fan okay i like helmet fans especially because you can put the beers on the side make it a foam dome oh that's not real though i'm talking real helmet you got to wear the real helmet the team issued authentic one yeah yeah by the way american ninja is on That's the sign that we're about to get loopy That's the sign Yeah that is It's literally the Sunday sign That's like waking up And was it Charmed is still on your TV Yeah After the NCAA tournament One of Wait I just saw one of the producers for American Ninja Warrior Is named Kyle Weed Yeah Kyle Weed Pretty sick What a fucking name Yeah Kyle Weed And he works on American He's definitely in CBD What a fucking name.
Yeah. Kyle Weed.
And he works on American, and he's definitely in CBD business. So number three, you have receiver gloves.
Receiver gloves. And I'm not poo-pooing the receiver gloves guy.
I like the receiver gloves guy. I love receiver gloves guy because receiver gloves guy, first of all, they do the thing where they connect it in the end zone.
And then receiver gloves guy, you can always see the receiver gloves guy because he's the type of guy who wears like he doesn't go to the gym, but he wears like Under Armour pro gear and like Gore-Tex and like the like, hey, man, I'm you know, I got the fucking leggings on, even though I have no leggings and then shorts. Yeah, like the Kobe leggings.
and he just thinks that he's forever in this like uh athletic environment even though he doesn't

play sports and he stands in the end zone and he's like i'm ready to go i got my receiver gloves like dude you're 45 years old and your kids are next to you they're not even wearing receiver gloves i think receiver gloves guy is the most illusional like the face paint guy you have to have that moment with yourself where you're face painting in the mirror and you have like that realization like, okay, this is who I am. Receiver gloves guy can live his life in this fantasy world without ever having to like come to Jesus about it.
So he still thinks that he's normal. Right.
Face paint guys accepted the fact that he's a little bit out there. And same with helmet guy because helmet guy, everyone kind of hits him on the head and he's constant reminder like you're a weirdo.
Receiver gloves guy thinks everything he does is totally normal. And that's why I like it.
How much does a pair of receiver gloves cost? Like the real authentic ones. Are they like 100 bucks? Really that much? Yeah, I think so.
Like 100 bucks? Yeah. And they're only used to be worn to games.
Standing in the end zone. Yeah, standing in the end zone and then making the sign.
That is pretty delusional. And I think you hit the nail on the head.
A receiver gloves guy is absolutely Kobe Stan. Yes.
He's a big Mariano Rivera fan. And he just doesn't think anything he's doing is weird.
And I love those people who live in this fantasy world, whereas face paint guy and helmet guy, they know at the heart of hearts. They're like, there's something off with them them they understand the reality of how fucked up their fantasy world is their friends are all other super fans yeah whereas whereas receiver gloves guy is that a regular you know he's got his his ford pickup truck and he's doing the whole tailgate and being like i'm fine has a cooler that he spent way too much money on that he busts out shows everyone yeah you want to come check this out um all right that was Jets uh Redskins before we get to the next game when it comes to meat quality matters but there's more to it than texture and taste you got to try ButcherBox we keep getting meat every single month ButcherBox I use it almost right away because ButcherBox is the best not everyone has convenient access to high quality meat meat.
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I think that Dan Quinn can actually walk into Arthur Blank's office and be like, hey, Art or Mr. Blank or whatever you call him, weirdo with the wispy mustache.
We just had the bye week at the wrong time. Like if we had a bye week at week five, we would be in the playoffs.
Yeah. Like it just came at the wrong time.
We needed a rest. We got healthy.
We're peakingaking we're still playing our best football right now the falcons haven't played their best game of 2019 fuck them man uh i have a fun stat you ready for this yeah so this was this was a game uh as so often happens around the nfl between a bird team and a cat team there are several of each okay right uh i don't know if you're a big astrology guy. Huge.
I am.

Then you know that Mercury has been in retrograde. Always.
So while Mercury has been in retrograde, the bird teams are 90% against the spread. Whoa.
So they've won nine out of ten games against the spread. The cats.
Who's crunching these numbers? I did. I did it myself.
You can trust them. I did it myself.
the big cat teams

are 1-8

against the spread

while Mercury crunching these numbers i did i did it myself trust them i did it myself uh the big cat teams are one and eight against the spread while mercury is in red doesn't mercury go in retrograde all the time yeah so it's really valuable to know this information got it okay okay all right yeah i mean i mean the falcons the i am now losing money on the falcons because i think that they're not good and they they are good all of a. And they're going to probably win their next three games.
Like, they're going to win on Thanksgiving night against the Saints at home. And everyone's going to be like, man.
You think so? I don't know. Why not? Why the fuck not? Dan Quinn somehow has them.
Like, now their defense just started playing. They have like 11 sacks in the last two weeks out of nowhere.
I wouldn't be surprised if I looked up in week 17 and Matt Ryan had the most passing yards of any quarterback quarterback in the nfl yeah it's just like one of those weird seasons he's gonna do it right it's it's just a weird thing where the the falcons will end up like eight and eight somehow and everyone's like what oh well they next year they're gonna make the leap so now we need to ask if ron rivera is in danger of losing his locker room well ron rivera and kyle Allen more importantly Kyle Allen he is in dangerous dangerous level here where he can lose his status of guy who can do something yeah well the problem is if if you throw four interceptions a game you better already have the reputation of a gunslinger right and we haven't put the name gunslinger the term gunslinger on Kyle Allen yet so you're not allowed to get away with that I feel like he's gotten worse too since warren sharp told us about his small hands yeah i might just confirmation yeah right exactly but he since the kyle allen hype reached its absolute peak he's thrown three touchdowns and nine interceptions and since did you know damian woody i don't know if we ever talked about this he said defenses are more afraid of Kyle Allen than Cam Newton is that a fact he said that I said that uh right now yeah maybe maybe yeah I guess because Cam Newton is physically unable to play yeah he can't play how crazy is it that people actually said we should trade Cam Newton like every time someone asked me do you want Cam Newton on the Bears I'm like why would the and just because kyle allen just because kyle allen looks serviceable for a few weeks okay kyle allen had moxie when he's playing well he's got moxie he does but he's he is dangerously close to being not even a backup like he is we we talked about it with uh with jeff driscoll when you get called upon you want to do just enough that people can say, ooh, he was okay. We want him in the room.
Kyle Allen had done that. He almost got starter.
Now he's going all the way backwards where it's like, yo, you stink. Yeah, what about Will Greer? We haven't seen anything about Will Greer at all.
No one's talked about him. I don't know where he is.
I figure you might as well just kick the tires on him. He might be throwing incomplete passes.
Let him play. That Von Miller's like, holy shit.
Yeah, you never know until you get him out there. Yeah, you're right.
Kyle Allen, he's got a great name, great quarterback name. Sounds like a Texas kid.
Seems like a guy you could throw out there and have some fun throwing around the yard with. But I think, yeah, it's time to bring him back to his rightful home.
And that's as a backup quarterback. Yeah, just chilling out.
Be the backup. Good visor name.
Okay, Texans-Ravens, the much-anticipated game of the weekend that really just sucked because the Ravens steamrolled the Texans. Lamar Jackson does something ridiculous every single week, and their defense is awesome now, which wasn't to start.
That pass interference call got called. Thank you.
game thank you i i am so sick of the nfl's pass interference calls because that was blatant pass interference and then they challenged it and they didn't change it and the texans would have had first and goal the ravens still would have won but they would have first and goal would have went up seven nothing and here's the test here's what they should start doing instead of challenging the pass interference they should just look and if the cornerback looks for a flag more than twice that's a flag yeah if the cornerback pops up and does the immediate incomplete sign then that's not passing marlon humphrey literally just his eyes just darted around he's like okay where's that flag where's that flag i literally mugged DeAndre Hopkins on the goal line. The odds for overturning a pass interference call as a coach when you challenge it are roughly the same as when we would do the MJ versus LeBron simulator and getting Kobe as the answer.
Yes. That's about it.
It's like one out of every 20 times. They'll just decide to turn over and there's no rhyme or reason to when it happens.
And then they turned it over in San Francisco when it wasn't as egregious

as this one.

That's because they don't like

Richard Sherman.

It's fucking maddening.

It's so, so frustrating

how inconsistent it is

and how stupid the rule is.

Like, they just don't

use it correctly

and I'm so mad

that it's like,

I shouldn't waste my energy

being mad about this.

Being mad about it,

but we are.

And look at us.

Here we are.

It's kind of fun

to be mad about it.

Paul Ruddgift.

I don't know yet.

Imagine us.

Look at us.

Look at us.

Here we are.

Thank you. my energy being mad about being mad about it but we are and look at us we are kind of fun to be mad about it and i don't know yeah imagine us look at us look at us here we are thought not really mad about a rule not me yeah we are uh yeah there's i don't know how they decide to have it overturned like what sort of evidence they need if they need two eyewitnesses they need like uh you need to fill in one of those capture things like you're entering a password online i don't know what sets it off and makes it pass interference and makes it overturnable, but it's very frustrating.
Very frustrating. I agree with you.
And I also agree that the fact that it happened so early in the game does make a difference. You know about that old saying, if you're launching a rocket and you're two degrees off on takeoff, then you miss the moon entirely.
But if you're two inches off on landing, you're still on the moon. Yeah.
Some basketball coach said that this weekend. I think you're thinking of Mighty Ducks.
Two inches to the right, and he makes it. And then the guy's like two inches left, and you miss the whole thing.
Yeah. You wouldn't have doinked it at all.
Yeah. But no, like when you're launching a rocket, two inches off in the other direction.
Yep. There was like some coach that said that.
I think it was a basketball coach that said it over the weekend or something like that. Trying to be a football coach.
But if you fuck up at the start of the game, seven points makes a big difference. Yes.
It's, I mean, well, it made a difference for the over. It did.
Let's just say that. We can say that.
I also want to say that I respect the hell out of people that are dying on the Lamar Jackson Stinks Hill. Oh, it's a hill that's not, there's not many people left.
There's not many people left on it, but the ones that have chosen to stay and just ride out this storm of being really wrong, but going down with a ship, God bless you. I think I need to like every single week because I still have the stray Ravens fans who are like, still think they're frauds.
Dude, I haven't thought they're frauds for like a month now. They're really, really good.
Yeah. And Lamar Jackson is electric.
And their defense is their defense feels like it's completely different than it was to start the year. Because that was my biggest thing was their defense.
I didn't think could stop people. And now they made Deshaun Watson look stupid look real bad the front seven look very good now the the offensive line of the Houston Texans another story yeah all together I want to throw another fan into your your hypothetical ranking list yeah and this one is more specific to the Baltimore area the team color camo cargo pants yeah Baltimore has I would say like 15,000 fans that go to every game on Sunday, wearing those black, white, silver, and gray.
And a little bit of purple camo pants. Yeah.
I like those. Those are really nice.
Yeah. Baltimore has an underrated dress up fan base.
Uh huh. They, they definitely are up there.
I did a, when the PI happened, there was a ravens fan who had like a raven it was like half orioles half ravens avatar and he just replied that wasn't pi uh-huh and it's so mean but i just retweet those people because then they he had like a hundred responses just people like urinating him yeah right i don't it's such a passive way to do it but it's so funny to me i i learned something about the ravens logo today. You know how we learned the Louisville bird doesn't have teeth, or birds don't have teeth, but the Louisville Cardinal does? The Raven has a red eye.
The Raven's stoned all the time. Or has pink eye Bob Costas.
Yeah, or it's been eating some asshole. Yeah, been sleeping on a farted pillow.
Yeah, we're not sure which one, but yeah, the Raven definitely has conjunctivitis or has been smoking some loud. So the Deshaun Watson stack going around that everyone was like, oh, his first loss by more than one score since high school.
Are we not counting that he lost 21 to 7 to the Colts last year in the playoffs and looked that was a really bad game? Regular season. Yeah, I know, but I hate that shit.
That's on Scott Hansen. And I'm...
Don't, don don't don't don't i know what you're gonna say and don't do it you you're gonna hate on the red zone because i'm so done with the red because you think it's it's uh schizophrenic and it's not like sitting down watching an actual correct football but let me tell you as a redskins fan that is the perfect distraction i can't sit down and. I'm so it's always been like I'm I know.

But here's the difference, Hank, with I was starting to get annoyed with Red Zone.

But with the fact that we have DirecTV here and you can come in and watch all the games and they're like telecast Red Zone fucks your brain up. We all have like, there's going to be a study in 50 years

how really the Mike Greenberg death of football,

no, it wasn't concussions.

It was the fact that whenever they switch to another game,

you automatically expect a touchdown,

and whoops, it's only like a five-yard run.

Well, for my brain, it is tougher to fall along all the games.

Like when I go to, when it cuts to like the Patriots game,

or it's probably a bad example because it was the afternoon,

but when it cuts to like the Panthers-Falcons game

and it shows a touchdown there,

I don't show punts, and he'll get off the punts. But the thing is, the setup you're describing is better, but not everyone can be so lucky to have six big-screen televisions where they can watch every game at the exact same time.
Well, I have three TVs at home. Hank does, too.
You can do that. Anyone can do that.
Actually, one of my TVs went out. It's been tough.
What happened? I don't know. Is it okay? Dark.
I don't know. It's just not turned on? Are you going to fix it? It won't turn on.
I press the button. Have you tried unplugging it, plugging it back in? What the fuck, man? Yeah.
That's horrible. I know.
I'm sorry. I didn't know that.
I would have been a lot nicer to you today. It's all right.
That should have been your Fyre Fest. Fuck.
It's my future Fyre Fest? It happened this weekend? Stay tuned. When did it happen? Yeah, Friday.
I got home Friday. Oh, my God.
Got ready for three TVs. Only had two.
Nightmare. That sucks.
That's a nightmare. Awful.
That is a nightmare. He had to use only two TVs all weekend.
Thoughts and prayers. Like, I can't.
I shudder thinking about what I would do if I only was down to two TVs. That's fucking horrible.
But, yeah, Red Zone is just too much. Your brain just – your brain is melting out of your ears when you watch Red Zone, and you expect things to happen on every single play, and it doesn't because that's not how football works.
Well, I say – I understand. I'm not bashing – I treasure my Sundays with the Red Zone channel, Big Cat.
I'm not bashing anyone who watches it. My TV says, do you want to...
Bashing Monday Night Football. No, I'm not.
No, I'm not. Are you still watching football? I like to watch actual games.
A few weeks ago, you're like, this is bad football. I like to watch actual games.
I'm a football purist, if anything. I like to feel the flow of the game.
I like to fucking get in bed with it and lay down with it. Soon enough, you're going to be like, I'm ready for football season.
I want to see the two-yard runs in their raw state. I don't want to go to a two-yard run and feel like it's going to be a touchdown.
The red zone is football porn. And then watching five games at the same time, that's like football.
Tantric sex. Tantricric sex with five different people.
Thank you. So that's a red zone will make you not in 10 seconds.
Yes. And that's great.
And that's bad. When you get addicted to porn, you're like, oh, fuck.
There's a time and a stiff wind will make me fucking come. There's a time and a place for all that.
That is what. And then tuning in and randomly coming across like the Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts game in its entirety that's like putting Roman swipes on, and you're not going to nut.
I just wish I could have it all in one box every game in that feed. Just feel it.
Whatever. All right.
I digress. All right.
Cardinals, 49ers. Hank, you think the 49ers are frauds.
Yeah. Why? I think they're overrated.
I don't think they're frauds. I think think they're frauds I think they're overrated I think they're gonna have some troubles in the playoffs Jimmy G has yet to prove himself to me oh I think he proved himself today against the Cardinals yeah because the Cardinals were like hey you have to well it was a short week and the Cardinals basically said you have to beat us with the pass and he did he didn't have his best player either here's what I'll say about Emmanuel Sanders got hurt too 49ers I will determine whether or not they are frauds.
They remind me very much of the Texans, the Sean Watson last year where they have all the hype, first run of the playoffs, have an ugly loss. I see that happening with the 49ers.
The defense is pretty good on the 49ers though. You have to admit that they're front four.
They can get after basically any quarterback. Except for Kyler Murray.
The situation that happened at the end of the Seahawks game, I see that happening in a playoff game. See, I thought today's game was actually pretty impressive, even though it was a close game.
Shout out that last play where that should be illegal. It was bad.
That was bad. Everyone went to a push.
The fucking offensive lineman fell on the ball and threw it backwards. Threw it backwards.
Thoughts and prayers, by the way, to Caesar's sports book, they took a bath on that because of that last second touchdown.

How did they recover?

They lost millions of dollars on that. So everyone think about the bookmakers in Las Vegas at this trying time.

That was tough.

But I thought this win for the 49ers was very impressive

because it's a short week off a very emotional loss.

They got a bunch of guys injured, and they had to come back back and they won the game in impressive fashion. I don't know.
This is one of those weeks where a bad team or a fraud team stumbles in this game. And they kind of got up off the mat and the bell rang and they were ready to go.
Richard Sherman did say that that pass interference went against him because the NFL doesn't like him. Really? Because he's active on the NFL Players Association board, so they're saying that's why that one was overturned.
Richard Sherman is undefeated at finding a reason for a chip to be on his shoulder. That's why I kind of like him.
I mean, the whole, like, I'm going to make up a phantom handshake that didn't happen with Baker Mayfield. It's crazy.
It's insane. It's the behavior you need players like that yes uh the other thing i wrote down was debo samuel who was graded at south carolina um best name in the nfl in terms of wide receivers yeah debo's pretty debo samuel like every time he gets a hollywood brown hollywood brown but debo is actually his name debo would be a good like fullback or why.
Debo at wide receiver. He plays aggressive, though.
I don't know. Debo Samuel, whenever he catches the ball, I'm like, oh, there's that guy.
Yeah. He's a dude.
I had something else in this game. Oh, yeah, they keep cutting up to George Kittle in the booth.
Yeah. He's the Jerry Jones of the San Francisco 49ers.
Whenever the offense does something good, they just show him,

and he's up there just totally zooted out of his brain on bang energy

and grizzly and just banging on the wall and being like,

fuck yeah, fuck yeah.

It's great.

I mean, he's just ready to go.

Do you think his dad writes his letter to him when he doesn't play?

No, definitely not.

Oh, okay.

Definitely not.

That's a great story.

You don't play, you don't get a letter.

Yeah.

Okay, let's do – we have two games left. PFT, you want to do ad yeah i do i want to talk to you about peloton i love my peloton bike i use it several times a week and if you're worried about finding the perfect gift this holiday peloton is the gift that they're guaranteed to love give your loved ones what they really want give them the gift of a peloton my bike is in my living room i'm going to get on there tomorrow night.
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that's promo code my take at checkout when you purchase the peloton bike go to one peloton.com and use promo code my take that's promo code my take at checkout when you go to one peloton.com okay we have two games left um first up we have bengals raiders uh i mentioned earlier when i was getting very upset about the bears max crosby spelled with two x's had four sacks eastern Michigan. He's our new guy.
I like this guy. Okay.
I mean, Max Crosby. Max Crosby.
Yeah. I mean, well, why not? And this game stunk, but the good news is if you're the Raiders, your saying is literally just win, baby, so you can win bad and just be like, yeah, just win, baby.
Yeah, we won. You play to win the game.
Yeah, just win, baby. I do like that.

I think we should definitely call Max Dosakis. Yes.
Right, Dosakis, always a good draft pick. There you go.
No free ads, but that's a free ad for Dosakis. That is a good one, yeah.
Ryan Finley, quarterback of the Bengals. Not the guy.
Not the guy. Not the guy.
But he is a guy who loves getting on the phone on the sidelines. So, like, he loves doing something so egregious, just fucking up as bad as you can fuck up, and sitting on the bench and then getting on the phone.
They're like, yeah, we're looking at the satellite image of the last play right now. You fucked up again.
And Ron's like, yeah, I fucked that one up. I actually think the Bengals could have won this game with Andy Dalton.
You're probably not wrong. I mean, the Bengals have admitted that Andy Dalton is a better quarterback, but they're like, we're just not going to play him right now.
I'm so sick of the Bengals, though, because they just won't figure out whether they want to be truly awful or not. There's some games where they get blown out, and then there's games like today where they keep it close.
And I need you to be consistent so I can consistently bet on it. You won't do it for me.
You want to have a you want to have a fun stat here yeah uh Joe Mixon had the first Bengals rushing TD by someone not named Danny Dalton this year yeah it's crazy isn't that's nuts they didn't have a running back score touchdown yeah that's nuts that is insane I thought that Joe Mixon hadn't been that bad this year maybe I was wrong maybe he has been that bad uh my other fun stat is there's a guy that's been living on his roof until the bangles win a game oh yeah like september yeah so he's just a roof guy i think that that was he made that bet because he secretly wanted to live on his roof because it's pretty cool to live on your roof yes that's where all the action happens yeah uh so he's like yeah i'm gonna stay up here until we win a game like a little clubhouse own, yeah. And there was like a local news story about him.
It says, man still on roof. There you go, buddy.
Yeah. The Bengals fans, it was nice.
It felt like Raiders fans embraced Bengals fans that showed up and put on their paper bags and just felt shitty. And I was like, I just love Raiders games in Oakland.
The shots of the crowd and the people dressed up. And then you just threw in like there was some Bengals fan drinking with a paper bag.
He was drinking through the paper bag. It was just so sad but so good at the same time.
It felt like Raiders fans probably showed him a good time. Yeah.
No, that's definitely stealing valor from every homeless person that's ever lived. It's just chugging one through the paper yeah i i like bangles fans for the most part they're very colorful when they maybe it's just the uniforms and the stripes and the bright orange literally it it looks pretty cool that's all it is fans are non-threatening i've never been intimidated by a bangles fan yeah or their team the least threatening apex predator is a bengal yes like a drugged you're like a drugged tiger you're like

a tiger on quaaludes that's speeding away from his wife after she's busted out the back door of his buick yeah exactly declawed yes declawed um okay last game patriots eagles hank give us well first of all good win for the patriots their defense was awesome in the second half give us your worry level though of the Patriots offensive Their defense was awesome in the second half. Give us your worry level, though, of the Patriots' offensive line and Tom Brady basically having to run for his life constantly.
There was actually a quote after he said that he was, like, tired. Legit tired because he basically has no time.
Yeah, it's not great. I mean, they were running like the Mitch Trubisky.
Because they have no time, they couldn't throw the ball more than, like, five yards. Right.
Just quick routes. It wasn't great.
It looked ugly. Disgusting game.
Based off of the loss to the Ravens and obviously how the Ravens have been playing since that game, they look clearly like the superior team. But it was a good win, and they're still in the lead for home field advantage for the playoffs.
That's all you can do. Edelman might be of the future yeah you got edelman and sunu probably the two best non-quarterback quarterbacks in the history of the nfl yes yeah that's true what about your defense you still you're happy with the d turn over luck how you feeling about that on your side i've never really understood turnover luck we had some yeah we don't we had some good bounces some bad bounces i actually said that to bft we were We were laughing.
You love to. It's Big Cat's favorite joke on the free text.
It's like a turnover. Yeah, I say.
Hank, that means that's turnover luck. Well, the ball went in your kickers.
Well, no, because I still think you. But it wasn't a turnover.
There was no turnover that happened. Right, but that's what turnover luck is.
Like, that's a ball that you can get, but you don't. But how can you have turnover luck if a turnover doesn't happen? Again, because it would have been a turnover had the ball bounced your way, but it didn't because you're unlucky.
It doesn't have to be a turnover to have, like, be like, that's turnover luck when the ball doesn't bounce your way, when it could. So, like, Hank, when your team— You still don't understand.
You still think I'm saying that the Patriots are lucky? No. Yeah, you do.

You're just pointing out turnovers on plays that were there weren't turnovers.

You can't predict which way the ball is going to bounce.

That's the point.

Sometimes just because it doesn't bounce your way doesn't mean you weren't lucky.

It's hard to predict.

You can't say this game we're always going to get this many turnovers.

Of course not.

I never said you could.

Okay.

That was talking turnover.

Hank starts talking more and more like Bill Belichick as we kind of dig in on him. But he does reach a breaking point every time we start to dig in where he snaps out of his, it was a good game, we're lucky to escape with it, where he's like, just shut the fuck up, guys.
Shut up. Here's a quote.
Oh, can you give us the Bill Belichick quote again? Oh, he said they're having fun. Yeah, we're having fun.
Oh, they asked him about the Eagles, and he was like, you know, they look like they're having fun out there. Which is a shout-out to the Lane Johnson quote on our show, saying that it's more fun to play for the Eagles than it is to play.
That's so funny because that was, what, two years ago? Yeah. And he doesn't forget.
But he also misquoted him. Oh, yeah wasn't necessarily that bad yes so he wasn't quoting him he was just noting that the eagles look like they're having fun time okay while they were losing yeah fun time i i've noticed that uh the weirder the combination of clothes that bill belichick wears the more likely they are to win that game so today 90 coming off a bye yeah 90 yeah yeah Yeah? 90%? Yeah.
I think we ran through that on Friday. I know.
So we took the number. Belichick was wearing the sweatshirt that was cut off, but also had a cut, just a small cut down the middle, like he was going to tear it off at any given time during the game like Hulk Hogan.
Yeah. I don't know what the meaning of that little cut at the front of the collar was on him today.
Just give yourself a little air. Yeah, just let the neck breathe for a little bit.
A little air. Stephon Gilmore, after the game, said that he knew he could get Ertz rattled because he had seen the eagle tight end crying on film.
That's tough. Yeah.
Yikes. That's tough.
Tough for Julie Ertz's husband. Yeah, Julie Ertz's husband.
But So, and then the only other thing from this game is, do you think, how many times do you think, fuck Nelson Aguilar is going to be said tomorrow in the city of Philadelphia? That was a tough catch. It was a very tough catch, but he's also the guy who everyone blames and it went viral when the other guy said it.
And I feel like you always need someone to blame and he's the guy. There's going to be somebody like a diehard Eagles fan that starts his own house fire just so that he can get interviewed by somebody on the news to say something about Nelson Aguilar.
Yeah, run it back real quick. I did notice Gronk says that he's got a big announcement to make this week.
Oh, yeah. Hank, did you see that? Oh, yeah.
What do you think that news is going to be probably some type of sponsorship uh probably like CBD maybe a gambling company I could see Gronk being the first person to actually take cam soda up on an offer yeah to be like hey Gronk we've made you a PR stunt offer to jack off in front of a camera for 24 hours non-stop end of the day on the pregame show on Fox, it's so electric. It's an absolute train wreck of electricity.
So end of the day, Patriots are still probably the team you're most confident in the AFC besides the Ravens. And then I would say just knowing who they are, they're the team you're most confident in, period.
Their defense is awesome, but their offensive line's got problems. Yeah.
Big time problems. I think they'll figure it out.
We'll see. They'll figure it out.
It's also tough when they don't have – it feels like they're missing – Our boy Marshall Newhouse. There you go.
He's going to get it together. I know he is.
It's tough when you – we were watching the game, and Julian Edelman's running all the way down the field. Julian Edelman's fantastic, but if he's your deep threat, it feels like it's not balanced.
Yeah, Nikhil's out, though. Nikhil was playing today.
Yep. Such a great name.
Nikhil O'Neal. Nikhil O'Neal.
Yeah. Shactus.
What do you have, like, three catches? Nikhil Harry. Something like that? Yeah, I know.
Great last name, too. What did you think? No, I don't know.
Oh. I don't know why you're saying Nikhil O'Neal.
Because it's like Shaquille O'Neal. Because it's Shaquille O'Neal.
Got it. It's a little nickname.
That's what we do on this show. We come up with nicknames.
Two nicknames. All right all right let's do who's back and then we will finish up with a monday reading pft do you have a couple ads real quick yes i want to talk to you guys about our good friends over nashville get ready for one of the biggest parties of the summer in music city barstool nashville is hosting the summer fest block party on friday may 16th and saturday may 17th outside of barstool nash 2nd Ave South.
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Okay, we're going to do something a little different this week. We're going to have Football Guys be a poll're gonna have uh you can read about who we have nominated on twitter and i think jake will blog it so check that out at pardon my take um let's do who's back and our monday reading by the way we should just quickly say i i also want to run a poll of anti-football guys this week and that includes peter king for everyone write in and tell me how Miles Garrett uh is gonna affect like whether you'll let your son play football yep uh and Adam Schefter who assault assault that's how I figured he he said that assault and Peter King by the way just saying that he said uh an act not seen in decades requires There's discipline not seen in decades, particularly in these times.
Shut up. Peter, have you seen the last Boy Scout? There was a guy bleeding from his ear.
Shut up, Peter King. Stupid.
It's not as bad as going into a hotel shower and realizing that the drain is still plugged and you have to lean over and flip it up. But it's pretty bad.
The people who like. yeah unimaginable incomprehensible unthinkable unthinkable and unimaginable that's what that's what shefty said these people are just losers i've also i've seen like five guys get a helmet swung at them this year yes it happens a lot we've seen way worse things happen on a football it wasn't in prime time and it wasn't to someone with such a giant gravitational target as Mason Rudolph had.
I mean, Mason Rudolph had. That's okay.
Yeah, don't hit Mason Ramsey. No.
It's 13. Happy birthday.
Yeah, happy birthday, Mason. But, yeah, it was ridiculous to see all the takes that were coming out.
It was crazy. All right, who's back, Hank? You start.
My who's back is the Motorola Razr. Yeah.
So I saw a commercial for this this weekend. I personally had it was like the first phone I had.
Even when my friends were starting to get iPhones, I had a Motorola Razr. It was like by the time I had it, it was old.
But I had it for like three years. Bunch of nostalgia.
They're bringing it back, but it's like apparently going to be a smartphone. So it's going to be new, like, hipster.
I don't even know. I don't know if it's going to work out or not, but the Motorola Razr is back.
Wait, so it's going to have everything like iPhone has? It's going to be a flip phone, but, yeah, but you can flip it up, and it basically turns into, like, a one-screen iPhone. That sounds to me like it's going to get broken immediately.
So it can be a flip phone or a touchscreen, like. The iPhone should make a flip phone.
Mm- phone. Because I would buy one, but then you'd be the green dot.
You can't do that. Well, the cool thing about a flip phone is you can rock it on your belt and let everyone know that you work in IT.
That's true. It is pretty sweet.
It's like, hey, what's up? If the new Motorola Razr has Snake on it, then I'm not. That's what I'm saying.
That was Nokia. Tetris.
No, that was Nokia. That was a little brick.
Blackberry. That's what I had.
Yeahris no yeah snake and no that was a little brick yeah that's what i had yeah snooki no uh blackberry had um brick breaker yeah brick breaker was awesome i wasted so much time at a job that i was getting paid for to play brick breaker if you bring back a phone that has snake brick breaker and drug wars on it then i am so far in snake is is so good. Just Tetris.
Tetris on the razor was the best. Someone make Game Boys again.
My Who's Back of the Week is Shorts. Yeah, because the Winnipeg Blue Bombers fans, they won.
They're going to the CFL Grey Cup final and if they win that dude gets to

put on his first pair of pants in

19 years that's crazy he promised his

buddies he's not wearing pants until

they win the big one the Grey Cup

and they are one week away from

doing that we're gonna try to get him on yeah

if you know the shorts guy

possibly the biggest shorts guy in the world

I had a drunk idea this weekend yeah

shorts that are warm

like shorts you can wear during cold

weather

Thank you. Possibly the biggest shorts guy in the world.
I had a drunk idea this weekend. Yeah? Shorts that are warm.
Like shorts you can wear during cold weather. Do they have like warmers in them? No, I haven't figured it all out yet, but just I want to be able to wear shorts when it's cold outside and not be cold.
There's a way to do that. There is.
Get fat. Get fat.
And also you just get the shorts, but make them a little bit longer. Okay.
To your ankles. At what point do they become pants though? No, if you just call, it's a state of mind.
Yeah? Just sell your shorts. If there's no cuff at the bottom, it could be shorts.
Giant shorts. Shorts.
They're shorts for giants. Yeah, huge shorts.
But you get to wear them. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, that works.
Or just like if you could make, I don't know, NASA, figure it out. like use some sort of heat retention yeah fabric and keep keep my legs warm from the kneecap up yeah i don't know figure it out it's not that hard um all right my who's back is uh christmas lights or holiday lights in bars i love that yeah there's something about going into a bar and having the holiday lights in there it just feels better feels more like nicer to drink even better when it's in like August.
Yeah, but this is like the time where you go into a bar and having the holiday lights in there it just feels better feels more like nicer to drink even better when it's in like august yeah but this is like the time where you go into a bar you want to buy everyone else a drink it's the it's the spirit you know it feels warmer yeah it does it reminds me of that scene in goodfellas where they walk in after latanza heist and everyone's like oh yeah like it feels warm in there right you come in from the cold they come in and there's's lights all over the place, and everyone's happy to see each other. I mean, December is like the ultimate drinking month where you can just socially drink all the time.
And so we're about to get there with Thanksgiving. And then my other who's back is Jim Harbaugh.
Jim Harbaugh's all the way back. He is big time back.
He fucking stepped on Michigan State's throat. And did you see the game ball off? No.
Oh, my God. So Harbaugh, before the last play, before Shea Patterson, because Shea Patterson was his best game as a Michigan quarterback, before he kneeled the ball to end the game, Harbaugh told him, make sure you don't give that ball back to the refs because I want to give it to you as a game ball.
And then when they went into the locker room,

Shea Patterson gave it a Harbaugh as a game ball.

And then Harbaugh put it in Shea Patterson's backpack before he left without him realizing.

So it was a game ball.

He snuck.

They just kept on giving it back and forth to each other.

That's going to end up being one of those lifelong friendship things that

you hear about where like two friends prank each other over the course of

their lives by like sneaking one little trinket back. Yep.
Harbaugh is going to be 80 years old and like roll out of bed go to his computer to type in his shopping list in excel and like underneath his desk is going to be that damn football he's like shit shit you got me you got me i'm gonna say something that's probably going to uh elicit some people being mad at me i think think Michigan beat Ohio State. Really? I do.
You're going to get a lot of people mad at you. I think Michigan can beat Ohio State.
I'm not going to say they are going to beat Ohio State. I'm not going to guarantee it.
I think it's going to be a more competitive game than people thought a month ago. That's going to be the northern equivalent of Coach O beating Alabama.
I mean mean it would be do you think harbaugh cries if he wins that game probably yes yeah harbaugh would i mean it would and then he would immediately parade himself because then he would go he would have gone three and oh against his rivals michigan state notre dame and ohio state i again i don't i'm not gonna i'll have to wait to see the line and i'm not saying like oh i'm guarantee i just think it's going to be a lot tougher of a game for ohio state than people thought like after wisconsin you know or or anytime before michigan played penn state they turned a corner in that second half when harbaugh told them this will be your finest hour even though second half for like two and a. But ever since that moment, they've been a different football team.
Yeah. I mean, I would love to see that.
I would love to see the look on Harbaugh's face. It would be incredible.
It would be incredible. All right, let's finish up.
We have a Monday reading. We haven't done one in a while.
This one comes from Reddit, and it says, My boyfriend of two years will not stop speaking in a fake italian american accent and keeps making up foreign words all right here we go okay to preface this i love my boyfriend and he is super sweet nice smart guy that i feel lucky to have but his behavior lately is freaking me out and makes me worried for the future i love how they always start with this i love him i love him but there's something so wrong with our relationship that i'm asking millions of anonymous strangers on reddit yeah i love my boyfriend but uh he keeps insisting i have to go to dave and buster's so what do i do all right so my boyfriend loves movies especially mob movies he has all the soprano dv at his place, and I'm pretty sure he still watches them that way. That's fine.
Obviously, you can watch and enjoy whatever you want. But last week, he saw The Irishman with some friends, and since then, he will not stop talking in like a fake, stereotypical mobster accent.
We were in an Uber the night after going out to dinner and admittedly the driver was going a little fast but my boyfriend kept muttering things like who's this fucking guy huh dale dale earnhardt jr over here and shouting ho as we took corners he would not shut up and even gave the driver a one-star review saying it was about respect. I fucking love that.
This guy sounds like he's a smart guy. Dominic Tococo.
Yeah. I'm riding here.
Hey. Hey.
Dominic Tococo. He didn't respect you, honey.
Not in front of you. Not in front of my guma.
Everyone has their quirks. I get it.
And they can be what makes someone special. At first it was even kind of cute, funny, but I just can't really understand this shift.
All of a sudden it's been a week and he continues to make a sides in his voice. And when he gets drunk, he speaks in made up Italian.
Like we were having dessert at my sister's and he came up to me and said, Hey ma, I got to get home and hitini with okay i'm the dd i don't drink so i asked him why he wants to leave and what a drappini is his response was you know like a shower that's a great term for a drappini i'm gonna start calling the shower the drappini let me hit a quick me get a quick hot drappini. I got to get in the soap.

I got to take a soapini, you know.

Drapini's a fucking, this guy is funny.

I like this guy.

Drapini is not a word.

Well, it is now.

In any language.

He also never called me ma before.

Ever.

And now he does it almost all the time.

I feel crazy like this is going to be a permanent feature of his personality now.

I know this sounds incredibly stupid compared to some of the other issues on here but i'm just really nervous about what this means about his personality slash mental health he really is a sweet loving guy with a wonderful family and have a lot in common but just like i don't even know how to begin to approach this i want to tell him off and be like why why do you keep doing this voice can you please stop we don't live together so thankfully it's not constant thing but like what if we did and it was shot come on i need to know for hey come on hey we're just having a laugh i need to know what this guy's actual heritage is well okay so here we go uh is this the the kind of thing you just deal with when it's someone you love edit i just want to add that he's not italian at all either so i'm also worried people will get offended when we're out or something hey the drappini hey come on hey oh hey it's just good clean fun let's just having a laugh listen if you haven't done this at some point in your life i don't like you're not a human being like you watch sopranos you watch goodfellas talk with your hands a little bit you kind of think your life's a movie it happens for a couple weeks and then it passes yeah hank started wearing track suits when you watch sopranos i've been watching a lot of peaky blinders lately too yeah you're a scally cap not a scally it's more the accent you know yeah with with peaky blinders for me i watch that yeah i want want to drink whiskey, and I want to smoke cigarettes nonstop. It's so hard not to.
Yeah. And do some, like, chopped up heroin from Asia.
No. Hash.
No, Arthur has cocaine addiction. Off of Shelby.
Yeah. Not yet.
Don't even fucking start. It's the devil's will.
I'm not going to. But it's...
Then he gets married to that, like, Christian girl that won't let him go anywhere and do anything. And's like oh no i'm not doing i want it on the record i'm not doing it okay i won't do it i'm not i'm not doing it i'm not gonna go any further but yes you do get into modes when you watch shows when you watch tv when you watch movies you want to emulate your heroes the good thing is hank can i tell you something real quick no peaky blinders too late in the morning for this for these jokes no it's not a joke peaky blinders the seasons come out so infrequently like i haven't watched the most recent season yet i can't remember a thing that's happened in the past yeah like not even one thing i need a refresher course so you're good uh but yeah you get in these modes and you emulate, you know, hey, Trapini.
And it's also fun. Yeah.
If you don't have an accent, if you grow up speaking without any noticeable. Tom Brokaw.
Yeah. If you have like a newscaster voice, it's fun to put on.
It's like putting on a Halloween costume for your voice. Right.
It's cool. Right.
So let the Trapini. It sounds like he's trying to bring a little class relationship the relationship.
Hey, Ma, why don't you go in the drapeini when he's eating the drapeini?

A little of this, a little bada boom.

We go in the drapeini.

We have some fun.

I don't know.

Maybe nine months later, we got a little grease ball running around.

All right.

We'll see everyone Wednesday.

Enjoy Monday Night Football and fire every coach in America.

Love you guys.

Hey, I fucking love you guys, all right?

It's no bullshit. Love you guys.
I fucking love you guys, all right? No bullshit.

Here we go.

And he's down.

Right foot, left foot, ball.

Does he get both feet in right here at the end, Jim?

He's in.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm right here at the end, Jim. Nice.
He's real. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

That's a catch.

Oh.

Wow.

Not the catch.

We'll see.

Let's see.

Well.

Cooks. Got it.
We got the catch. We'll see.
We'll see. Well, cooks.

Got it.

Right.

Right adjust.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh. Whack.

Mmm. Oh.
wow. Oh, wow.
Wow. Oh, wow.

That's a catch.

It's been egging.

Not now.

Wow.