Dog The Bounty Hunter + World Series Game 6 Recap

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 we have dog the bounty hunter. We also have game six of the World Series, a controversial game six, but the right team won.

Speaker 1 We have NFL trade deadline that really wasn't that good, Hot Sea Cool Throne, and our good friend Uncle Chaps on the show for guys on chicks. And he shaved, and it was a big to-do.

Speaker 1 But before we get to all of that, I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students.
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Speaker 1 We love you, Cash App. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of

Speaker 1 work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang allow washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Strait Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Eli Strait Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Cake presented by the Cash Shap. Go download it right now.
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Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, October 30th, and the greatest two words in sports under protest. Game seven.
Can't protest. We got both of them.
Well, no, you can't. So it's under protest.

Speaker 1 Is not. Passan said it was under protest.
Can't protest it. It's still under my personal protest.
Also, they won. Yeah, so it's a best of eight now.
So you don't have to protest. So we don't know.

Speaker 1 Ball Don't Lie. Hey, did you hear this, PFT? Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was part of Ball Don't Lie Twitter, but you had to say it. You had to get it out.
Trey Turner got robbed on that infield single. But you can't be mad.
I'm not mad anymore.

Speaker 1 I'm just disappointed in the umpire. Really, the hero of the night, because it was, there was a moment where it was going to be the umpires.
It was going to be like a Saints Rams situation.

Speaker 1 If the Natsuki was going to be able to get to

Speaker 1 full New Orleans on them. Oh, it's going to be an absolute shit show.
The fact that they fucked that up, and then I don't even know who they were talking to.

Speaker 1 I was going going to put a billboard outside Joe Torrey's house. It was going to get ugly.
It was going to get real ugly.

Speaker 1 But it ends up not mattering because the Nationals, Rendon, hits that home run, and the hero of the night is Dave Martinez

Speaker 1 trying to fight an umpire with a bad ticker. The guy who he had a heart

Speaker 1 surgery or something, treatment, something happened this summer to the point where he's not allowed to drink coffee anymore because it's bad for his heart.

Speaker 1 And he went full fucking aggro-rageaholic rageaholic on the umps. And I loved every second of it.
That's a manager who you want to play for.

Speaker 1 It was probably good for him to get that out of his system to have a little release. Yes.
It was like a nice cardio workout for him getting upset.

Speaker 1 Also good that he got thrown out because at that point he has to go cool down somewhere. Well, you have to send a message to your team.
You guys are back. Hey, you got to send a message.

Speaker 1 Let them know that you are behind him 100%.

Speaker 1 And he did all that arguing with two guys trying to hold him back. He beat the double team.
Jim Hale. Shout out him.
I don't know how he held him back. Did him with a little spin move.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Got up in his face. He looked like one of the Bosa brothers out there, a lost Bosa.

Speaker 1 It was a fun game to watch. There was a lot that went down, despite the final score being kind of a blowout.

Speaker 1 It was an exhilarating game to watch.

Speaker 1 I'm glad that I only have one more of them to watch this postseason because it's reaching the point where it's like playoff hockey, where I'm getting too amped up. too nervous.

Speaker 1 The plays are affecting me too much. So I'm glad we got game seven.
We got Joe Buck on the call tomorrow, ready to hit him with a, and the Houston Astros can suck on D's gnats, as he promised

Speaker 1 that he would, he promised that he would say it. So I'm counting on him.
Fun stat, the last manager to be kicked out of a World Series game, Bobby Cox, 1996.

Speaker 1 The last manager before that to be kicked out of a World Series game, Bobby Cox, 1992. Okay.
That's a fun stat. I do.
Yeah, I'm shocked that Bobby Cox, he could never beat a spin move. No.

Speaker 1 He's a space eater. He's a guy that's like a nose tackle.
He's going to stay behind two guys. He's a guy who would say some really fucked up shit.
He wouldn't do it like, you know,

Speaker 1 in the way that Dave Martinez did, where I actually think he was going to kill someone. He's going to rip someone's throat out.
Bobby Cox would just cut you to your core. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you get into an argument with Bobby Cox, you're going to see a therapist for the next seven years of your life just to get that out of your system.

Speaker 1 One thing about the Astros, I saw again, Justin Kershaw was trending on Twitter again tonight.

Speaker 1 Also, Clayton Verlander, they were both trending at the same time. Again, still doesn't have a World Series win.

Speaker 1 Might not ever get a World Series win.

Speaker 1 Kate Upton chimed in. She said that Trey Turner was clearly interfering with the play.

Speaker 1 So we also have.

Speaker 1 She was right, though.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 He was called out. Yes,

Speaker 1 she was technically right. She was not right in the spirit of the world.
No, Hank's right.

Speaker 1 She was right that the umpire. No, the call was calm.
Her assessment was correct.

Speaker 1 Okay, and Hank, for one who doesn't believe in turnover luck, the real story of the night was Babbit, as I called, as I predicted, the Nats Babbip turned around.

Speaker 1 It's the one stat that I've picked up on this offseason, so I'm an expert on it. We got luckier on our balls that were hit in play tonight.
The Astros got less lucky than they have been.

Speaker 1 That is what really turned the game around. What does Babbip stand for? This is like you're like a

Speaker 1 new thing of the day.

Speaker 1 He's like a four-year-old who found a new word. He's been saying it every single season.
I'm wearing a shirt. What is this?

Speaker 1 If you need to watch this on Barstool Gold, if you want to look at my shirt that I'm wearing, it says Babbitt on it. It stands for batting average on balls and play.
So it's like you can hit a front.

Speaker 1 It's literally the turn of Oak. It's like, where's batting? We omit the O.
So it's like you can hit

Speaker 1 a hard line drive directly at the shortstop and he catches it. Doesn't mean it was a bad hit, right? How much did you care about Babbitt like a week ago? Zero.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Absolutely could not have cared less about Babbitt, but now that I know that is the key to the Nationals winning this World Series, I'm all in on it. I am all in on the Nats Babbitt.

Speaker 1 I'm very excited for game seven, but again, as I mentioned, I'm looking forward to it being over. And I think that we were right.

Speaker 1 Big Cat, I think, was the first to report this, so I'll give credit to him that the Nats are a team of destiny. Yes, they are.

Speaker 1 They are not going to lose game seven. If they do, I will eat this podcast.

Speaker 1 I'll eat the whole thing. I'll eat my podcast.

Speaker 1 And shout out to the Nats having the foresight to shut Steven Strasberg down in September of 2012. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 That was, you got the performance out of him in the World Series that you were looking for when you had him stop pitching in September, even though you were in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, God bless the broken road that led us to this game seven. Yeah, I mean, that's so game seven, nothing better.
We also had a bat controversy tonight.

Speaker 1 So Bregman hit a dinger, and I'm scared of Bregman. Whenever he gets up to bat, I'm a little bit terrified.

Speaker 1 He hit a dinger, and then he carried his bat all the way to first base and then dropped it after he got there. You had the Brian McCanns of the world flipping out.

Speaker 1 People were very mad calling it clown move, saying it was disrespectful to the game. That was awesome when they had his ear hole.
Yeah, well, and then Soto did the same thing. It was a

Speaker 1 who can carry the bat longer off.

Speaker 1 I feel like if you hit a walk-off home run in the World Series, which isn't going to happen this year, but in the future, if it happens, you should be allowed to carry it all the way around. Yes.

Speaker 1 Big night for the who says baseball isn't fun crowd.

Speaker 1 You guys got your night. That was it.
That was the big night.

Speaker 1 You had all the fireworks. You had the carrying the bat off, the umpires, Dave Martinez, home run.
I think they juiced the balls again. Those balls were flying.
I agree.

Speaker 1 All of them were moonshots. Yeah, they were juicing.
That's why Verlander was so mad.

Speaker 1 He got really upset at the baseball tonight because he's used to the doctor, the spin rate balls that they have in Houston, as Trevor Bauer pointed out to us.

Speaker 1 He's used to pitching with a juiced ball that favors the pitcher. Correct.
Now it's swung the other way.

Speaker 1 That's why Verlander can't win a game in the World Series, which is kind of a bullshit narrative because he's pitched well in some World Series games, but that's not going to get in between me and a narrative.

Speaker 1 We're a hot take shot. We are a host take shot.
0-6 is 0-6.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely right. I'm a results-based guy.

Speaker 1 0-6. I'd actually keep him out of the Hall of Fame.
Me too. Agreed.
Not clutch. And Max Scherzer is ready to go tomorrow because he got the cortisone shot.
Which is

Speaker 1 an angle. Again, God bless the broken road that got us to that point.
P-E-D. Cortisone shot.
That's what you give if you're pregnant, if you're giving birth. I've got a cortisone shot in my back.

Speaker 4 Oh, sick. Yeah, no, it's awesome.

Speaker 1 It basically makes your entire insides, wherever they give you the shot, feel super warm. You can only get like two or three a year.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Takes away all the sensation. It completely numbs you up for like two weeks.
It's like Roman swipes for your spine. It's awesome.
Awesome.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Max had the look in his eyes, both of them, the brown one and the blue one tonight. He looked like he was ready to get in the game.
He was pacing.

Speaker 1 Max Scherzer, if you think he's sleeping tonight, my friend, you don't know Max Scherzer. He's probably not leaving the ballpark.
No. He's just going to pace.

Speaker 1 That would be bad if he didn't sleep, if he like slept on the mound and just hurt his neck. He might.
He's going to pace.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's the sleep number on a baseball bound?

Speaker 1 What's the pillow situation for Max

Speaker 1 Bell in his bed tonight? Because

Speaker 1 you can't fuck that up. He's on the road.
He's on the road. Yeah, he's in a strange bed.
He's on the road. That's concerning.
That's why he's not going home, though.

Speaker 1 He's just going to pace the 60 feet from home plate to the pitcher's mound back and forth.

Speaker 1 If you want to watch us, we are on barstoolgold.com/slash PMT. Barstowgold.com slash PMT.
So what's the plan tomorrow night? Are you going to,

Speaker 1 I guess you got to do, would you do soggy stars on Thursday if they lost

Speaker 1 you think I should do soggy stars for this well yeah if you know

Speaker 1 the plan was actually we won't say what the plan was yeah we won't say what the plan is so you'll do it on Thursday if they lose I'm not gonna make a plan because we're not gonna lose but yes that is

Speaker 1 the plan I was gonna say I'll come in but I don't really want to you're not gonna come watch tomorrow night game seven I mean I'm gonna watch support your friend I know to feel like we've been here so late every single night I'm starting to lose my brain a little maybe I'll show up late that's fine to show up in the seventh inning that's fine.

Speaker 1 No, once you go home, you're home. No,

Speaker 1 no, I'll be back, dude. Just keep a seat.
Okay, gotcha.

Speaker 1 I'll be here. I'll be here.
I'll be here. Yeah, just make sure.
Don't let anyone sit in my seat. Okay.
I'll be here.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's do some NFL trade deadline that wasn't.

Speaker 1 Really, the biggest news of the day wasn't a trade. It was Andy Dalton getting benched on his birthday.
That sucks.

Speaker 4 Sucks.

Speaker 1 It sucks. And I was upset for a hot second when I thought that we were going to lose our beautiful red-headed Bengals quarterbacks because we've been spoiled for the last, what, eight years? Yep.

Speaker 1 Since Andy Dalton's been playing to have a quarterback whose hair matched so well with his jersey, and then I saw who his backup was, and he's got red hair too.

Speaker 1 It doesn't pop the same way as Andy's, but in standard definition, it's just like it's a watered-down Andy Dalton, which is pretty much just air.

Speaker 1 Hank, I have a little trivia for you. Column A, column B, through age 32 season,

Speaker 1 fourth quarter comebacks 18 versus 20.

Speaker 1 Game winning drive, 23 versus 24.

Speaker 1 Passing yards, 30,844 versus 30,352. So Colin May got that one.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, who do you have for Colin? Who'd you take? Colin May or Colin B?

Speaker 1 Wait, can I add one?

Speaker 1 Can I add one more there? No, I didn't. No.
No. I'm going to add one more there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wins versus the Patriots. Oh, true.

Speaker 1 Did Andy Dall never beat the Patriots? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you don't know. So you don't know.
That one doesn't give anything away. Zero and zero.

Speaker 5 Well, column B, but I know column A is brazen.

Speaker 1 It's so stupid that people do that shit. I love it.
I love it. The mystery player.
Yeah, here. Check it out.

Speaker 1 Is this the first time that a passer that's in the top five in terms of total passing yards in a season has been benched this late into the season?

Speaker 1 Matt Ryan's probably going to too. Joe Flacco got benched.

Speaker 1 He's not benched. But he got, no, he got assassinated.
He got attempted. Neck injury.
There was an attempted murder because he stuck his neck out and demonstrated that he had a spine.

Speaker 1 John Elway was like, that's a neck injury. All of our NFC North heroes are dying.

Speaker 1 The real losers in this are the Buffalo Bills that don't have Andy Dalton to push them into the playoffs yet. That's true.

Speaker 1 That was his defining moments, that and when he lost his luggage on the highway. Yep.
So Andy Dalton will. Danny Woodhead guessed, too.
Yeah. Whoa, whoa.
Wow. Hey.
Yikes. Hank's going through puberty.

Speaker 1 Damn, man. My little boy's growing up.
He's getting heartburn. These are.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking about this because

Speaker 1 the fact that Matt Stafford just passed Joe Montana in total yards. Like, NFL passing stats are so funny.

Speaker 1 Tom Brady and Andy Dalton have played in the same era, but because it was even like, you know, 10 years ago, you can manipulate the stats through age 32. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 NFL passing stats are so fucking funny to look at. Whoever comes after this will beat everyone before it and forever and forever and forever.

Speaker 1 The other big news was Trent Williams did not get traded, and then he immediately reported to the Redskins.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what Bruce Allen ended up doing in this situation was he made up some trade offers for Trent Williams back in September. He said that the Patriots offered him a first-round pick.

Speaker 1 A mystery team, that's how you know it's real, a mystery team. They're really hot.
They live in Canada. They offered him also a first-round pick in mid-September.

Speaker 1 Turns out neither one of those offers was true, and he just waited until the last minute, hoping that somebody would call to offer a first-round pick. Didn't happen.

Speaker 1 So now he's reporting to camp, but he still doesn't want to play.

Speaker 1 He's going to be on the team for another year and he's going to be worth less in the offseason because he'll have one fewer year towards free agency. Ooh, okay.

Speaker 1 So great, graceful cap management and roster management by the R words. Yeah, and then Akeep Talib getting traded to the Dolphins.
That was so mean.

Speaker 1 But it continues our pick Ponzi scheme that the Rams are doing. Because I don't know.
They got back a fifth, but they'd already traded a fifth.

Speaker 1 Someone tweeted that they don't even know if they had a fifth to like doing the trade and if you throw in conditional to any one of those picks it's like okay that doesn't exist necessarily nope and yeah it was the it was the brock osweiler effect so they are essentially paying the rams they they traded him for negative eight million dollars is what i'm getting at yes yes

Speaker 1 so i mean i'll keep to leave like oh do they play no i the first thing the first thing i did

Speaker 1 when i saw that was look up michael crabtree and see if he was

Speaker 1 on a team that was going to play against the Dolphins later on this year. He's not.
He's a free agent. So I guess he could be signed.

Speaker 1 I could see the Patriots picking him up. The Dolphin should sign him.
Yeah. Because I think they have two games coming up.
Yeah, they should. Fuck, that would be so awesome.

Speaker 1 We need some more chain snatching to happen. Yes, we do.

Speaker 1 All right, any other NFL notes? I think that's about it. If I'm to leave, I just take the flight to Miami and then I quit after I get there.
It's like free flights to South Beach. Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, I guess the only other NFL thing was Eddie Pinero came out and said that he actually was kicking from the wrong hash mark.

Speaker 1 And Matt Nagy never asked him. Then he backtracked it because he realized how much he fucked up.

Speaker 1 Oh, so that's fine then. Yeah, yeah, no, it's totally fine.
Everything's fine. Put that back.
Two pieces back in the tube. And Matt Nagy's come out and doubled down, tripled down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said he would do it 100 times out of 100. Everything's fine, guys.
That's what you have to do.

Speaker 1 Just in life, if you're wrong about something, just say that you're not wrong and double down on the thing you were clearly wrong about. Yeah, just keep going.

Speaker 1 And eventually you'll find 10% of people will just respect you for being hard-headed enough. Yeah, right.
They'll be like, you know what? At least he's stuck to his ways.

Speaker 1 Yeah, at least he's an asshole. Yeah, he's stuck to his guns.
You know, he's unrelenting. Yep, that's good.
That's Matt Nagy. Okay, hot seat, cool throwing.

Speaker 1 Before we get to Dog the Bounty Hunter, Hank, why don't you start?

Speaker 5 My hot seat is Netflix. They are considering adding a variable playback speed.
So similar to podcasts, where you can go like one and a half and two times speed.

Speaker 5 And it's got like filmmakers very upset.

Speaker 1 Oh, cinema.

Speaker 5 People are freaking out. Judd Aptow said, like, he was on a tweet storm, said, don't make me have to call every director director and show creator on earth to fight you on this.
Save me the time.

Speaker 5 I will win, but it will take me a ton of time. Don't fuck with our timing.
And there was a lot of other people that were like following suit and going off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I mean, if I'm Jed Appetow, I'm pissed off too, because imagine Seth Rogan's voice at 2x speed.
No.

Speaker 1 He's got that Buddha Benkoff. Yeah.
And people listen to this podcast on one and a half times speed sometimes. Two times speed.
I think that you're insane if you do that.

Speaker 1 No, I've actually actually been doing that. I've tried doing one and a half times speed on hardcore history because it's like six hours long per podcast.

Speaker 1 But if you do it on like a comedy podcast, so definitely not ours, but if you did it on a funny podcast, I think it would throw things off.

Speaker 1 We should start doing this really quickly in every single episode to fuck with people.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Myla Hattie is Peter Lugers and me. They received a zero star review, which is equivalent to zero balls.

Speaker 1 Oh man, I love Peter Lugers. That's my favorite restaurant in Brooklyn.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 And it's like when you go there, the waiters are sometimes assholes to you and they cook, they bring your steak on, and they keep flipping through their pocket and they say, Okay, this is expensive, this is expensive.

Speaker 1 Well, you want some spinach? Probably not. You're pussy if you eat spinach.
And the best part about Peter Lugers is you can recook your steak on the hot plate because they keep it really hot.

Speaker 1 And they slice it up for you on your plate, and then when they hand it to you, you gotta slice it into it because it's already sliced up.

Speaker 5 It was a place that I had a connection, so I felt cool and I went there, but now they have a zero star review, so I have no clout and it's kind of upsetting. So it's like, fuck, what do I do now?

Speaker 1 Oh man, that sucks. It's so bad.
I enjoyed the steak. For people

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 don't

Speaker 1 interrupt hard.

Speaker 1 It was tasty. Now everyone who listens to it on regular speed is like, this fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 You guys are assholes.

Speaker 1 And I agree. I agree.

Speaker 1 Peter Lugers, yeah, that's bad. I actually like that place.

Speaker 1 It's a name that just exudes class. Yeah, you feel like, hey, you want to go to Lugers? It's Peter Lugers.
Maybe it's a gun name. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 going back to Seth Rogen real quick,

Speaker 1 everyone has that one friend who has smoked too much weed and his laugh is the same as his cough. And they're interchangeable.

Speaker 1 And it's actually awesome to listen to. It's kind of gross sometimes because they'll laugh and then they'll just start spitting up phlegm.

Speaker 1 But you also kind of love it because when they start laughing, they can't stop laughing until they cough, which also sounds like they're laugh. So it's an extra laugh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just one function ruled into one. Yeah.

Speaker 5 My cool throne is Team Targaryen and just Game of Thrones fans in general. So it came out today.

Speaker 5 A, that the guys that like fucked up, the creator, or like the show producers of that fucked up the last season got like fired off of Star Wars.

Speaker 5 They basically said that they season eight was so bad because they were like worried about Star Wars. That's why they didn't do like more seasons and shit, which got fans mad.

Speaker 5 They got fired off Star Wars for not like... for whatever reason.
So Game of Thrones fans were happy about that.

Speaker 5 And it was announced today that a a Targaryen, Team Targaryen show from the first 300, like 300 years before Game of Thrones is coming out.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever forgotten a cast of characters' names faster than Game of Thrones. Team Targ.
I forget who the Targs are. I just remember

Speaker 1 your takes stunk.

Speaker 5 Well, clearly not because I was Team Targ and that was proven to be the correct name because they were

Speaker 5 developing an entire show around the names.

Speaker 1 Remember when they had the dragon burn the Iron Throne and they're like, hey, let's hit you over the face with this. It's not even close to subtle.
Yeah. That was sick.

Speaker 1 And then they came out after that and said, oh, that didn't really mean anything.

Speaker 1 So they, they, they were, yeah, they were like, too, there was too much emphasis on an analogy that was just like way overwrought.

Speaker 1 And then they, it turns out they just stumbled their way into that analogy.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, that's tough. Also, it's a prequel that they're putting out.
That's a good spin zone to get people's minds off.

Speaker 1 You finished the show really shittily. Well, guess what? We're going to go back.
You like the first season? Tell you what, we're going to give you an extra first season.

Speaker 5 The thing is, though, because George R. Martin hadn't written the books of the finale, and so it was up to the showrunners to finish it, and they fucked it up.

Speaker 5 But there is actual, like, a book that they're basing the show off of, so it's like back to the good shit.

Speaker 1 Okay, you know what they should do? So they came under fire for some of the battle scenes in the last season.

Speaker 1 They should get back to what made the show popular, as baseball has shown us, and incorporate more boobs. So seasons one and two, boobs everywhere.
And umpire fuck-ups.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and umpire fuck-ups have, yeah, the first season is being played under review. They should have, instead of that giant fight, what was that called? The battle of

Speaker 1 the bastards, they should have just the orgy of the bastards. They should have one guy just walking around the entire series holding a bat, we never know why.

Speaker 1 And he just touches a bunch of bases. I like that.

Speaker 5 That's it. Team Tarwick is back.

Speaker 1 Okay. Tracarius.
All right.

Speaker 1 My hot seat is global warming. Tracarius.
Wait.

Speaker 1 Because the LSU Tigers signed a wide receiver named named DeColdist Crawford. Yes.
So DeColdist is making his way to Baton Rouge.

Speaker 1 Probably the coolest name, if not in the history of college football, definitely in the history of Louisiana State, I would say. Do you know his middle name? It's not the one that was reported.

Speaker 1 It's Juan. Juan.
DeColdist.

Speaker 1 That's fucking awesome. Hold that tiger.
Hold that tiger. I'm really excited to see him.

Speaker 1 And with a new law that got put into place, which I think everybody's still kind of up in the air about, that athletes are allowed now to profit off their name and likeness.

Speaker 1 Decoldist is going to make so much money profiting off DeColdist. Does that mean we get the EA sports back? I think we do, right?

Speaker 1 That's the conclusion everyone jumped to, and I'm going to say yes until proven otherwise. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to agree with you. Yeah.
My only regret in this show is that we prematurely named Bubba Bubba instead of Dekoldist. De Coldest Swan.
That'd be sweet if your name was DeColdest Wan.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My cool throne is Destiny.
Not only are the Nats a team of Destiny, but but Chip Kelly was talking about destiny this weekend after a game, and he laid into a reporter.

Speaker 1 He said, I wish people wouldn't bring up the term destiny because saying you control your own destiny doesn't make any sense. Right.

Speaker 1 Because destiny implies that the series of events is already preordained.

Speaker 1 So he smashed a reporter's best friend, which is to use the term control your own destiny or team of destiny, by just saying, like, why try to do anything if life is already set out ahead of you?

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that. So, he put, he put Destiny on the cool throne.
Always deep, Chip Kelly. Yes.
Well, he's lived his last six years like he doesn't care, and everything's preordained for him, anyways.

Speaker 1 And also, tacos are on the cool throne. Taco Bell.
Steal a base, steal a taco. I believe today, Wednesday, is Steal a Taco Day.
Yeah. Where you get your tacos for free.

Speaker 1 You get to know you actually go and steal one. You go and you take one from,

Speaker 1 you jump behind the counter. Whoever causes a riot at Taco Bell gets as many tacos as they want.
That's what it is? That's the giveaway? Nope. Only at Taco Bell, though.
Rob a Taco Bell. Profile line.

Speaker 5 Use your manners.

Speaker 1 Accept your free tacos. Rob a Taco Bell, but make sure it's in New England.
Uh-huh. Yep, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Rhode Island or Massachusetts?

Speaker 1 Tell them PMT sent you. Tell them Hank sent you.
Tell them Hank sent you to give you all the tacos for free. Don't do that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. My hot seats is.
Well, this news just came out, and it's alleged. All of it's alleged.
So the Dirty Sports Podcast,

Speaker 1 they had a video where they basically accused a Twitter account named Jameis101 to be Jason Light, the GM of the Bucks. Now, I don't know if it's true, but a couple things.

Speaker 1 One is, even if it's not true, this is the funniest Twitter account I've ever seen because its name is the Jameis1 of One, and he wrote an e-book called Jameis Winston Derangement Syndrome: How the Media Causes Us to Overlook the Start of a Hall of Fame NFL Career.

Speaker 1 Okay. So, even if it's not Jason Light, it's the funniest account I've ever seen.
Yes. And then if it is Jason Light, it is truly the greatest account I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 So I don't know this story will be continuing. I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of it like in the next day or two.

Speaker 1 But if it is, just know that we, at bare minimum, we found a person who wrote an e-book about Jameis Winston being a future Hall of Famer and how the media has a derangement syndrome about his career.

Speaker 1 Does he address the Jameis Quinston issues where he might need glasses? Might. That should.

Speaker 1 Oh, but that made me think, by the way,

Speaker 1 why are all the umps like 40 and 50 years old? Oh, they're very old. Yeah.
They all can't see. Yeah, that's a good question.
Couldn't we get umps that are like robots? 25? Oh, yeah, or robots.

Speaker 1 Yeah, robots too.

Speaker 1 Boston Dynamics dogs out there. Don't put any banana peels on the field.
Owls. Literal owls.
Yeah. They've got great vision for night games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they can sit right where the Astros steal all their signs from. Yeah, which is still happening.
Oh, yeah. I've noticed the pitch tipping.
That's what we're calling it now.

Speaker 1 We're calling it pitch tipping. We know what it means.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Strasburg said he realized he was tipping his pitches tonight in the first inning and changed it.

Speaker 1 Well, Bregman.

Speaker 1 Bregman is

Speaker 1 actually kind of a genius because if you just say that you have everyone's pitches, they'll all start doing things they don't want to do. Like,

Speaker 1 you'll get in their head by being like, oh, yeah, like all you have to do is, oh, yeah, I know exactly what's coming.

Speaker 1 And then they're going to start changing everything they do every single time they come out.

Speaker 1 It's genius. Jameis, one of one.
Has denied. He's denying.
He's denying it. He's saying, you have to love Twitter.
By the way, if need be, I'll be happy to do a call-in interview at the same time Mr.

Speaker 1 Light is at the interview in person to dispel such nonsense.

Speaker 1 So interesting.

Speaker 1 Very interesting. So what Light is going to do, does he have any brothers? No, he's going to record a video press conference and then call in.

Speaker 1 He's going to have like, you know, the Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard. Yeah.
He's going to have a Jason Light soundboard on his phone that he's going to be pressing. It might not be him.

Speaker 1 I'll give the benefit of the doubt and say it's not him because I don't want to just accuse someone just like point blank. That's kind of fucked up to do without like definitive proof.

Speaker 1 I'm just more happy that we know Jameis 1 of 1 exists because that is the funniest account I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 It is. Wait, hold on.
Oh, this is. He has quotes on his page of people who read his book.
Jameis 101 of 1 has written a game-changing book that the mainstream media may hate, but NFL fans will love.

Speaker 1 I hope this book is a bestseller. Joe Howley, former Tampa Bay Bucks center.

Speaker 1 Jameis 101 takes a hard look at a comparative and even-era adjusted stats that prove Jameis compares favorably to Super Bowl-era Hall of Fame quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 When looked at objectively, it's really quite obvious Winston's on a Hall of Fame pace.

Speaker 1 This is awesome. Wow.
I can't believe anyone is. You can write a book about anything.
Dude,

Speaker 1 like I said, it probably isn't Jason Light. We're going to give him, we're going to say he's innocent, right?

Speaker 1 Yes. Whoever.
Yes. I want to know who did actually create this.
To me, that's almost more interesting.

Speaker 1 That's way more interesting. It would make more sense to me if it was Jason Light running this than somebody else.
The fact that it's not is genuinely concerning. Right.

Speaker 1 Like, this person is out here defending Jameis Winston. If he has no relation to Jameis Winston and he wrote an e-book.
It's a crazy person we're dealing with. Crazy.
And insane individual.

Speaker 1 I want to get him on the show, but only Colin.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
Only Colin during a game. During a game.
Yeah. Oh, that was a big thing.
He stops during a game. All right, my cool throne is

Speaker 1 the Nets and Nets' teammates because there was a big story today about Kyrie being moody.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 apparently, like the member during when the Cavs were in there, I think it was the last year they were all together. So they didn't win the title.

Speaker 1 But Kyrie just stopped talking to everyone for like three days straight during the playoffs. He went Buddhist.
Apparently, he did this when the Nets were in China as well.

Speaker 1 So his moods are a concern to the Nets. Well, guess what? You're on my cool throne because everyone freaked out and was like, Kyrie this, Kyrie that.
I read the story, and

Speaker 1 here's a quote. There's hope that Durant will be able to coax his friend into a better frame of mind

Speaker 1 and said,

Speaker 1 Durant said, I look at Kyrie as somebody who is an artist. You have to leave him alone.
You know what he'll bring to the table every night because he cares so much about the game.

Speaker 1 Kevin Durant is on the case to keep Kyrie Irving from getting moody.

Speaker 1 They're fine. I kind of like that dynamic, though.
It's a little Jane silent bobbish. Right.
So you've got Kyrie that never says anything, and then you've got Kevin Durant that just says everything.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah, I'm fine with that.
Yeah, this is. It seems like it's going to be a good buddy cop type thing.
What if Kevin Durant was the guy behind Jameis 101?

Speaker 1 That would be a productive use of his time. That would be the greatest.
But he's just writing about Jameis as if Jameis was Kevin Durant. Right.
He's just completely substituted his.

Speaker 1 He did a find and replace. He wrote an e-book about himself and then went back and changed all the Kevin Durants to Jameis Winston's.
So, and then Kevin Durant dunked on Donovan McNabb.

Speaker 1 McNabb, Durant was actually using his real account.

Speaker 1 Donvin McNabb said, with everything starting to come out with Kyrie Irving and the Brooklyn Nets, when will Kevin Durant realize maybe I should have stayed in Golden State?

Speaker 1 Boy, I've seen this happen before. And Kevin Durant just replied, relax, McNabb.
And no one gets dunked on more than Donovan McNabb. That's a great comeback.

Speaker 1 That's a great comeback. He's someone who doesn't know how to use Twitter.
No, he does. I don't think McNabb reads his replies.

Speaker 1 I think he has a burner phone that he tweets every tweet out from and then he just throws it into the trash can. Yeah, he did reply.
He just replied with the Mike Tyson

Speaker 1 laughing really hard at a roast gif. Okay, yeah.
Not really.

Speaker 1 He's having fun with it. Yeah, not really.
He's in on the joke. McNabb's in on it.
Good job. Like, yeah, oh, relax, McNab.
That's so funny. That's not a reply that makes any sense.

Speaker 1 No, that reply is actually the underthrown pass of replies. Yes, yes.
All right, so let's get to our interview with Dog the Bounty Hunter. We also are brought to you by our friends.

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Here he is, Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Speaker 1 Okay, we welcome on a very, very special guest, someone who I have wanted to interview for a very long time because I'm a huge fan of his. I've actually said, yeah, uh-oh.

Speaker 1 I've actually said Stone Cold, Steve Austin, Michael Jordan, and Dog the Bounty Hunter. So you are two-thirds of that because we've had Stone Cold on.
We'll never get Michael Jordan on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's true. A call.
But it is Dog the Bounty Hunter, Dwayne Chapman. He has a show on WGN.
I watch it on Wednesday nights.

Speaker 1 It's Dogs Most Wanted.

Speaker 1 It's a great show, and I'm a big time, long-time fan. So thank you for joining us.
Appreciate it. Thank you for having me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I don't know even where we want to start. I mean, I guess we could start with the current show right now.
It is

Speaker 1 very, it's hard to watch because obviously there's a lot of Beth in it.

Speaker 1 Have you been watching it back at all? Have you?

Speaker 4 A little of it, but I don't sit down like I used to because of Beth. It's just, you know, I start crying and, you know,

Speaker 4 thoughts go there. And I was there, so, you know,

Speaker 4 next season, yeah, I'll watch it and help cut it. This season, I kind of backed off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you used to watch a show in previous seasons? You know, whether it was this one or in years past?

Speaker 4 Well, we helped cut them also. You know, like, where is this part at? Where is that part at? We cut them.

Speaker 4 And this time I just let the guy go, and he did a pretty good job because we're getting some good ratings.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the,

Speaker 1 what's the best part about being a bounty hunter? Because I, I, I mean, I, I would, we'll get to it later, but I would like to help you in any way you can, I can.

Speaker 1 But what, what's like the part that you're like, man, I love getting up and doing this.

Speaker 4 When you find the guy.

Speaker 1 That's it? That's it.

Speaker 4 When you look a long time or he's done something really bad and then you find him and you're like, or you spot him across the street, your heart starts beating. You're like, oh my God, that's him.

Speaker 4 Because you've been staring at a mug shot for two, three days, you know, looking, talking to everybody that knows him.

Speaker 4 You know, all his habits, kind of cigarette he smokes, what he eats at night, what kind of hours he has, what kind of drug is he on. And then when you spot him, it's like,

Speaker 4 whoa, my God, it's him.

Speaker 1 Right. And you put yourself kind of in his shoes, in that person's shoes, to figure out where they're going to be.
Correct. How are you going to find him?

Speaker 1 And the one thing that I always liked about your show is after you get the guy. I don't know.
Do you even call him the the bad guy after you catch the bad guy? Well, yeah. After you get the guy?

Speaker 4 You know, yeah, he's a bad guy until he gets to jail and pays for whatever bad thing he does.

Speaker 1 Until he meets you. And then what would happen would be you'd connect with him.
You'd try to connect with the person that you'd apprehended. Right.
Try to make a difference in their life.

Speaker 1 Do you still keep in touch with anybody that you've apprehended on a bounty?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. I have.

Speaker 4 a lot of guys that call me and and say you know how they're doing or i see them on the street or you know this show here it Dogs Most Wanted is exactly that I look at like 50 warrants and then I pick out the most heinous crimes usually against persons or kids or women and then we go after them where you know we're not going after the normal drug dealer anymore and you know because some states are making California possession of heroins a misdemeanor now right is it is there one person particularly that you've kept in touch with over the years that it's like totally turned their life around after meeting there's a lot that call me and you know a lot of guys check in and I've had them cheat.

Speaker 4 I make them check in every day. And I have guys check in for a year and then they're like, you know, I got probation today, dog.
Is it okay if I check in still? And I go, sure.

Speaker 4 So we have a couple guys that just check in to check in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, friends for life. So when you talk to the people before they go into jail and you say like, hey, like you give them the speech and you say, go with Christ.
And they're like, I'm going to.

Speaker 1 Can you tell when they're like lying? Like the people who don't actually go with Christ?

Speaker 4 Well, it's not particularly go with Christ. Okay.
It's just that I believe in God and I believe in, and I was taught about Jesus, so that's what I'm supposed to do. Right.

Speaker 4 But there's other religions that, you know, it's not just Jesus if you want to get to heaven. Yeah.
God's not a dummy. We all don't like the same kind of food or the same kind of girls.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 but I try to tell them there's a higher power that you can go to.

Speaker 4 And I kind of hope as they're in that position, they're all serious about changing.

Speaker 4 I've had a couple guys flip me off, you know, and just I book them. That's it.
Only a couple. But in that position, they just got taken down.
They're really serious about changing their life.

Speaker 4 And then, of course, in jail, they're really serious, right?

Speaker 4 And in the county jails, you usually go to the Bible or they become a Christian, right?

Speaker 4 Then the real test is when they get out of jail, what do they do for the first two weeks and and then for the first two months? About 50% make it and about 50% don't. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, it's, I always wonder, like, the follow-ups.
It's almost like, so I love all reality television, but like a bar rescue, we're friends with John Taffer.

Speaker 1 Like, he does the follow-up on the bars. We should do a dog follow-up.
And, like, who went with Christ? Who, when you, when you smash the crackpipe, they were like, boom, that's it. Right.

Speaker 1 My life has changed forever. And who has fallen back onto bad times?

Speaker 4 Well, I, well, just name and name, a friend of mine's Bosco, and he called me the other day.

Speaker 1 He's like, Rico?

Speaker 4 No, Bosco. Oh.
He's like double our size.

Speaker 4 Us three together, he's that size. Okay.
And he's like, dog, I'm going to kick your ass. I go, Bosco, what four? And he's like, oh, you ruined my life for crying, brother.

Speaker 4 And I said, what do you mean? He said, I had a Twinkie last night. It's not a real Twinkie, right?

Speaker 4 We had a snack. He said, I had sex with my old lady and I went to sleep.
And I said, good. He said, you know, that stuff you made me smoke.
God, dog. And I said, well, is it better?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, but I'm going to kick your ass for ruining my life of crime. Yeah, yeah.
And then before he hung up, right, I said, all right, Vosco. He goes, yeah, you know, again, I...

Speaker 4 I roll, I need the rolling papers. I said, you know where to buy them.
Stop it. And he said, dog.
I said, yeah. I said, I love you, brother.
And I said, I love you too.

Speaker 4 So those kind of thoughts, those kind of things, you know, help you out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely. Would you say that you're the goat bounty hunter, the greatest of all time? Of all time.
Yeah. Completely.

Speaker 1 000 captures yes and humble

Speaker 4 8 000 captures over 8 000 41 years this february so that's a long those are stats that's oh yeah yeah do you know what your percentage is like what what your uh averages it's a hundred percent we got one right now we're chasing a million dollar bond tuesday we're best birthday right we're gonna start and it's uh because my health is a little big dingy right now so i'm taking medicine to you know thin the blood so you're kind of weak.

Speaker 1 How are you feeling?

Speaker 4 Caca.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, but

Speaker 4 I'm going to make it. Thank you.
I lost a belly, though. I tried sit-ups my whole life and wouldn't leave.

Speaker 4 And then I used the Tony Robbins diet, the 10 fingers.

Speaker 4 Take your ten fingers and push your fat ass away from the table.

Speaker 1 That helps. I was like, wait, what? I thought you were making

Speaker 1 it up. Throw him off.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Right. So you mentioned your stats.
You also,

Speaker 1 the start, would you say, like, the when dog became dog was the Andrew Luster case?

Speaker 4 No, I was, uh, we were already had our A ⁇ E show when we had that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 I was in prison, and I was the warden's barber, and the barber's shop was outside the prison gates.

Speaker 4 And one day they were putting a friend of mine in the hole because his mother just died. So they put you down quick because your mama dies, you're going to, nobody can control you.

Speaker 4 So, as they put him in the shitter, can I cuss?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, the shitter.

Speaker 4 Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay, the shitter.

Speaker 4 He uh hit a guard in the mouth. I saw the guard come out, you know, backwards, and off he started running.

Speaker 4 And so I was in the barbershop, and I could hear the cops on the tower saying, Freeze, Bigfoot, that was his name, right? We're going to kill you.

Speaker 4 So I took out after him because I knew he wasn't, he was kind of light in the mind, you know, but his mama just died.

Speaker 4 So I got him by the pant and tackled him down. And Lieutenant Hilligus ran up behind me with, he was right behind me running.
And they were saying, dog, stop. What are you doing? Right.

Speaker 4 Because they're going to shoot me, too.

Speaker 4 And he threw the handcuffs in the dirt right next to him and said, hook him up, bounty hunter. Yeah.
And I said, Lieutenant, I don't know how to do that. Right.

Speaker 4 So then

Speaker 4 when I went back to this prison, the warden called me because, you know, warden's barber, no one touched me, beat me up because I cut the guard's hair, hair the warden's hair made him look good for visiting days right the girls that come in they looking cool for the guys wives right

Speaker 4 so the warden said we got to transfer you out of this farm because they're going to kill you for what i said because you ran down an inmate i said and i saved his life so that night uh the warden said well i'll put i'll leave you stay for a couple days and if you're not dead well we're going to transfer you so that night the muslims came to me and said you know why did you catch him why'd you do that?

Speaker 4 And I said, because you shoot Bigfoot right in the head. I'm not going to let that happen.
And my Ronnie Coleman was black, was my shoe shine guy that was in the barber shop with me.

Speaker 4 And I told him, let's go get him. He said, I ain't going to get him.
They're going to kill him. I go, no, they're not.

Speaker 4 And so the next day when I woke up, there were candy bars,

Speaker 4 stamps, cigarettes, one pack cigarettes, matches all in front of my cell. And so I got them real quick, you know, put them in this little cupboard.
And the warden called me down.

Speaker 4 He said, They don't give you a love offering.

Speaker 4 Your bread is buttered. You're going to stay here.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And so that, when I started checking out, when I was a kid, I loved the bounty hunter shows, you know, The Lone Ranger and Wanted Dead or Alive and all that, because all those guys were bad once and then they became good, right?

Speaker 4 Right. And they all got the most beautiful girls tied up on the tracks and all that, right?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 So I thought, wow, this is something I could do, actually do.

Speaker 4 And then I started studying what to happen. So when I got out February the 6th, 1979, about the 10th, I went into the post office and got the 10 most wanted by the FBI.

Speaker 4 And about a month, I took one of those into the Fed. Oh, yeah.
10 grand.

Speaker 1 Just on your own.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just tricking him, and I knew the lingo to get him here.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 was there any barriers to becoming a bounty hunter since you were just getting out of prison?

Speaker 4 No, back then, today, you just can't do it like that you have to do all these certifications and police officers training and this and that and FBI stuff but back then

Speaker 4 1979 it was wide open there's only two bounty hunters one was uh papa thorne

Speaker 4 and uh george uh

Speaker 1 George Lucero and they were uh you know pretty good but not as good as me so the only thing though you since you got out of jail you weren't allowed to carry a gun has that ever been an issue when like they see dog coming and they're like, well, the worst he can do is mace us and you know stick Leland on us and maybe have a zip tie around my wrist.

Speaker 4 Well, you today,

Speaker 1 back then. Leland, by the way, is a badass, so that would be worse than a gun.

Speaker 4 He's a good fighter.

Speaker 4 But back then, I'd use different things. Now, today you have non-lethal weapons that will drop a mule.
So they don't want to get tased with the new taser. Or they have the pepper ball.

Speaker 4 It's an automatic seven shots a second. And it does it, you know, it won't kill you, but it's like Mike Tyson punching you in the mouth.
Right. So I have one on each hand and open up on him.
And

Speaker 4 you can actually draw. David's ahead of me by two tasings right now.
Oh, really? Because he sent me to the back door. We just, the guy shows next week.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's my phone.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Next week, you'll see this guy's nuts.
And so I go to the back door.

Speaker 1 You're going to see his nuts are going to see his nuts. He's crazy.
Yeah, okay. Just want to clear it.

Speaker 4 So I go to the back door and there ain't no back door. Yeah.
And then I hear pop like that.

Speaker 1 And he's like, you motherfucker.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, man, he got a nut.

Speaker 4 Sorry, ma'am.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Sorry, that's Jill. She's

Speaker 1 still

Speaker 1 late.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right.
So here's the other thing I had for you.

Speaker 1 You mentioned the Brandon Dassey and Steve Avery case. I wrote a blog about this.
I went and looked it up.

Speaker 1 You said, let's just give them truth serum, and we'll fucking find out in two seconds if they're murderers. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Does that work? Oh, yeah, absolutely. You got truth serum?

Speaker 1 Or is that just a dog?

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 there is sodium.

Speaker 4 What is it called? Sodium penthol.

Speaker 4 And methamphetamine. Okay.
A combination. Yeah, a combination and a cigarette because of the nicotine.
Yep. No, I'm telling you.

Speaker 4 And they did it to the GIs in the Korean War. The Koreans made methamphetamine, started it, you know, the ice.

Speaker 4 And they'd give it to them. And the guys just talk.

Speaker 4 Back in the day in the 70s and 80s when I rode with the motorcycle club, if you did meth, you were not allowed in the club because you were a rat.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you can't help it, right?

Speaker 4 And so today I don't know what they do, but you could give them true serum, you know, and you can find out where the bodies are. Did they really do it?

Speaker 4 I was charged once with a crime, wasn't charged, but the detective was going to charge me, and I didn't do it. I wasn't even there.

Speaker 4 And I said, listen, what I'll do is get in the courtroom and I'll demand my rights of a jury of my peers. That means all convicts.
And I'll take true serum right in front of your ass. Yes.

Speaker 4 And let's see what happens.

Speaker 4 No, that has saved millions of tax dollars.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 let's say they don't do truth serum. Do you think if you get Brandon Dassey and Steve Avery in the back of

Speaker 1 a van, just mono-e-mano, they're zip-tied. You're sitting there, your dog.
Do you think you get a confession out of them?

Speaker 4 No, I've beat some that just won't talk. Yeah.
They won't.

Speaker 1 So we've got to do the truth serum. That's fine.
Easy.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And then you don't get charged with assault.
But I've had to back in the day, you know, really lay them out.

Speaker 4 The more you hit them, the more they won't talk.

Speaker 1 So have you ever thought about running for like Attorney General? Or I guess that you don't run for that, you get appointed, but like Truth Serum, like no one's thought of that.

Speaker 1 Have you ever thought about getting into politics and being like the number one cop in America?

Speaker 4 Well, we do a lot of Beth and I was doing my team right now do a lot of to different states to keep bail alive and to keep you know our jobs.

Speaker 4 So I do a lot of lobbying. I want to, there's a new sheriff in town.

Speaker 1 Whoa, how you just said that shows down my spot.

Speaker 4 Listen, and so Stevenson would say that again.

Speaker 4 There's a new sheriff in town.

Speaker 1 One more time, one more time.

Speaker 4 There's a new sheriff in town. So the National Enquirer has helped me get a pardon next week.
And if I get, when I get the pardon, I'm going to run for sheriff of a county. I'm going to pick it out.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 1 we're going to have a ball. You're going to be sheriff in the ball.
I'm going to be sheriff dog. That's great.

Speaker 4 But I want to make sure that the crime, you know, is that guys that do crime get paid for it and guys that don't get out.

Speaker 1 You should move to where Kane the wrestler, is the mayor and just make it the most badass place

Speaker 1 in the world. Tennessee? Yeah, it's Kane is the mayor and sheriff dog.
Yeah. It's not a bad idea.
Who's going to fuck with that person?

Speaker 1 Now, you bring up an interesting thing about keeping bail going because I've been hearing a lot in the news, probably the last year, two years, how cash bail is actually a very big problem for a lot of poor people in America and how it's not the best system and other countries do it a different way.

Speaker 1 What's your take on all that?

Speaker 4 Well, you just look at the states that are doing it like that. Oh, the poor victim, you know, the poor guy he broke the law, always broke.
What?

Speaker 4 You know, what about the guy you raped? What about the girl you raped? What about the house you broke into? What about all that? Now, graffiti, peeing on the sidewalk, all that, let him go. Okay.

Speaker 4 America right now still is not. If we're white, I'm half-breed Apache, I'm in.
If you're black, you got a problem.

Speaker 4 Still in America. The bail is higher.
You get charged with a different kind of crime. You catch a white white boy with a half ounce of pot.
He gets busted for possession.

Speaker 4 A black guy, sales and possession and whatever.

Speaker 4 Once it becomes fair all the way around the table, then it's like the reason I do not speed when I drive a car is because I got to pay tickets. Because that keeps me.

Speaker 4 I know right this one highway patrol, as I go by there, I set that baby on 70 because he has got me. And he goes, every time I know you're coming, dog.

Speaker 4 And so I set it down, set my, you know, my cruise control, control, and I keep it five miles under because I know he's around there. Why? Because it cost me 300 bucks last time.
Next time, 600 bucks.

Speaker 4 That you hit, you hit us in the pocket. We're going to do right.
So that's in bail nowadays. You check in with your bondsman.
We put people through counseling.

Speaker 4 I have several guys. Their wives call me because of domestic violence.
I have to talk him down. So we're different than here's a card.
Call us when you get in trouble.

Speaker 4 But no supervision, it's freedom with supervision. And without it, you're a criminal.

Speaker 4 That's why they're criminals. There's something wrong with them.

Speaker 1 Right. I agree with you that there are some crimes out there that absolutely don't need bail, you know, like the victimless crimes, possession of marijuana, that sort of thing.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I agree, like, you know, rape, violent crime, domestic abuse. Yeah, absolutely.
Keep them in jail. Keep them on a very close watch as long as you can.
Right.

Speaker 1 Do you ever find that your personal appearance makes it more difficult to sneak up on people?

Speaker 4 No, it's you can tell.

Speaker 4 Even when I walk, you know, around, I'll notice a guy will be like looking at me and he'll be like,

Speaker 1 oh, I don't want to get bit by the dog.

Speaker 4 Because he knows he's wanted.

Speaker 1 Yep. Right? Yep.
Yep. And you could be coming for him.
So you're saying that your personal appearance can actually be helpful to you because people start to act suspicious when they see you.

Speaker 4 Exactly right. It's just like this.
When you see thunder and lightning, and that thunder's really loud, and the lightning is cracking, you know that rain is coming.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 And they see Uncle Dog coming. Yee-ho.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Those zip ties are about to come out and you're about to go down.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
So, how can, can I come and ride along sometime?

Speaker 4 No, the insurance won't allow it. What? We're going to do a celebrity maybe ride along, though.
We've got a couple guys. We're trying to get the insurance.

Speaker 1 I'm Big Cat, your dog. Cat and dog.
Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs.
I mean, come on, yeah.

Speaker 4 It's like Snoop told me,

Speaker 4 he wanted to go and he's, I might take him. And he's like, you're going to let Snoop over me?

Speaker 1 You know. Snoop doesn't wash enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 And he said, I double-dog dare him.

Speaker 1 Now you have to. Yeah, yeah.
Now you absolutely. Okay, that's fair.
The double dog thing. Yeah.
That kind of trumps it. What about, so

Speaker 1 the interesting part about the evolution of the show, because I watched back in the day, I watched someone now, is social media and how quickly people almost like tell on themselves.

Speaker 4 Boy, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Is he your job, I would imagine, has gotten a little bit easier because you guys will look for someone and be like, oh, he just checked in on Facebook, like right down the street.

Speaker 4 Yeah, or you've got the stuff.

Speaker 4 What's it called, David? Where we see in the dark?

Speaker 1 Oh, I have a flicker camera.

Speaker 4 Yeah, cameras you can see in the dark. It's like we caught a guy the other day, right? Good runner.
Guys wanted two years by the cops.

Speaker 4 We got to get him in a week because of our budget, right? The show's budget. So we caught the guy and he's like, saw all the equipment we had.
We was bugging.

Speaker 4 We had a thing we could listen and all that. And he's like, fuck, dog, you cheated, man.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I like. Technology.

Speaker 4 Yeah, technology nowadays. Oh, my God.
Everywhere you go, there's a camera. You know, David is my guy who's got computers and stuff, right? And he won't do a felony.
But he'll go right next to one.

Speaker 4 So you got places where you pull in to get gas, and there's a camera that takes your plate and then sends it to a central computer.

Speaker 4 You just look in there to see where it is unbelievable what the cop's gotten out at Fine Guys. It's really good.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like that's kind of taken a little bit of the love out of the game because you don't have to work as hard?

Speaker 4 No, it's you do.

Speaker 1 I miss the days when you got up in front of the whiteboard in Hawaii and you'd write the guy's name down. You'd be like, all right, do we know any of his friends?

Speaker 1 Let's go out there and bust some skulls.

Speaker 4 Well, that's what you had to do back then is find the weakest link in the family and or the gang. Nowadays, you don't have to do that.
You don't have to depend on a snitch. You just hunt the guy.

Speaker 4 It's just like if you're hunting a deer and he's tied to a post, you shoot him. This one now, you're hunting the deer and he's running.
You got to follow his tracks through the bushes. That's funner.

Speaker 4 I like doing it with the okay, the night vision and stuff.

Speaker 1 Do you have anyone on your staff that's in charge of combing through social media, seeing their Instagram account, like pictures that like where they might be to tip them off?

Speaker 1 Do you have someone that does that? Yes, because I feel like that's something that we could also help out a lot with.

Speaker 1 That would be great. I got one right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I got one right now that we need some million and a half dollar bond. What's his name? What's his name? Cameron Lawhead.
Cameron Lawhead.

Speaker 1 What's his handle?

Speaker 4 K-A-M-R-N.

Speaker 1 K-A. Lawhead.
Cameron Lawhead. Okay, let's see.
Instagram. Cameron Lawhead.
No, he has not tweeted yet.

Speaker 1 He's on Instagram. No posts yet.
Let's see who he follows. Let's see who he follows on Instagram.
This is a big.

Speaker 1 Have you talked to Brea Clara yet? He follows her. Ooh, let's get it.

Speaker 1 Allison Byram.

Speaker 4 Okay. He's from Kauai, Hawaii, right?

Speaker 1 Okay. That's what it looks like here.
Kawai is a beautiful place. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Do you miss Hawaii? Are you in Hawaii a lot or no?

Speaker 4 I miss the weather and the brothers and the people, but you know, wherever you're happy, you can, you know, you can make your own Hawaii.

Speaker 1 So where are you spending most of your time?

Speaker 1 Right now in Colorado. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Snowed last night. Costume.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn. That's thanks.
Do you think I'm... Wait, wait, Cameron Lawhead follows bikini picture on Instagram.
What does that tell us? So we need to get

Speaker 1 girls. We need to get horny.
We need to entrap him with some hot chicks. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Meth and hot girls.

Speaker 1 I can like shave my chest. We can do like a little catfish thing.
Put a bikini on. I'll try to send him some DMs.
Yeah, we should follow him with a hot girl avatar.

Speaker 4 Let me know. I'll give you a sell, please.

Speaker 1 Do it. Let's do it.
Let's track this motherfucker.

Speaker 4 10 grand. Boom.

Speaker 1 I don't need the

Speaker 1 game. I love the game.
I do it for the love of the game. I don't need it for the money.
I just want to be a help to the dogs. Thank you.
That's all I'm looking for.

Speaker 4 He'll make a mistake, though. When you get him like that, the guy is a meth head.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Big time. Okay.
So

Speaker 4 he'll make a mistake.

Speaker 1 This is a tough question to ask, but I want to ask it.

Speaker 1 Since Beth has passed away,

Speaker 1 have you had a moment where she's kind of looked down on you and like maybe helped with the bounty hunter?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 4 in the final show, we pull up to the guy, we roll up on him hot, and when he sees us, he bolts right then. And then my team is behind him, and I'm on the side, and we lose him.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, oh, my God, no way. You can't, this is 50 grand or you can't lose this guy.
Big guy, big guy, right?

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I'm like,

Speaker 4 Beth, shit. And then I hear Leland say, I got him.

Speaker 1 I'm on him again.

Speaker 4 And David says, we have an angelic drone. Angelic drone helping us out.
I believe it. And I thought, oh, my God.
Yeah, well, she better help me on this other one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I believe it. Yeah.
You actually, yeah, I mean, it's unfair now.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was already unfair because you caught everyone you've ever caught and needed to catch, but now you have an angelic drone.

Speaker 4 This guy here, it's a good thing there's cameras because he knows Beth passed and he knows he knows all this stuff. So this is going to be hard for me not to kick his teeth out.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you can't outrun. Especially with no Beth.

Speaker 1 You can't outrun an angelic drone. No.

Speaker 1 That's coming for you, no matter what. That's what I'm talking about right there.
I love it.

Speaker 1 All right, do you have any other last questions? Yeah, I was curious if you ever watched the episode of South Park that that they did about it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that was cool. You think that was funny? Yes, it was great.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What about the picture that you took in the water when you're coming out of the water before the

Speaker 1 figure died?

Speaker 4 That was, I flipped the paparazzi off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a tough one.

Speaker 1 As a dog fan, that was tough. I had a lot of people asking, like, hey, what's going on with your boy?

Speaker 4 I was like, yeah, if you look at it, though, they drew this belly on there. They draw it on because the guy kept, we were in Maui.
Oh, his airbrush.

Speaker 1 And he, yeah,

Speaker 1 is that what we're going with? Why didn't you tell me? I would have said that as an official statement. No, that was

Speaker 4 no, it was Photoshop.

Speaker 1 It wasn't ever that big.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 he's on private, or no, he's on a public sidewalk. Yeah.
And just like they're out in front of your place right now. Yep.
And as long as they're on a public sidewalk, they can't go to a private place.

Speaker 4 So he's on a public sidewalk shooting

Speaker 4 to a private place. And I said, hey, what are you doing? Right.
He said something. So I flipped him off.
Beth goes, uh-oh.

Speaker 1 They're going to Photoshop your stomach. She's like, look fat.
There's a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 4 They're going to make you something.

Speaker 1 They're going to say.

Speaker 4 So I learned from now on, from that day forward, that's what, 10 years ago, to wear my shades when they pop Ferazzis around because they try to trip you

Speaker 4 with their cameras, right?

Speaker 4 And you're flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, you bump into something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was not right. Look at that.
That's photoshopped.

Speaker 1 That's photoshopped. That's photoshopped.
Official. That's bullshit.
That's officially photoshopped. Everyone fuck off who says anything about it.
Thank you, bro.

Speaker 1 You can see, man, you're fucking diesel and all these other women trim. Yeah.
Yeah. You look relaxed, too.
You look like you're

Speaker 1 touched somewhat, yeah. A little, yeah.

Speaker 4 We got it. I'm doing, I thought I, can I tell you what happened? I thought I had a heart attack, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, I saw that news.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. And they're doctors.
So hospitals, I'm, again, half Apache. I don't like that, you know, because they charge you seven bucks for a freaking band-aid.
Right. So I went in.

Speaker 4 They said, oh, took it to test. It looks like you've had two heart attacks.
I'm like, what?

Speaker 4 And they're like, yeah, so I want a cigarette. So I started to leave.

Speaker 4 And they said, you can't smoke on the property I said I'll go off the property and this guy's like well you're not going to get back in I go who the hell are you how are you going to keep me in he goes out physically I said let's work our way outside you son of a bitch right and so I started to go for him and all the girl he was like ah and all the girls they fired him the next day so I went out and had a cigarette came back and it hit me again so right you know as you go in the hospital you have a heart attack kind of story

Speaker 4 and they're like well he's having one right now so I'm like freaked out, Beth. Shit.
Okay, I'm coming, baby. Right.
So then the next day, I do this treadmill thing and I run it.

Speaker 4 Then they do the put the thing up my vein all the way into my heart.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Then they said, We want to see the girls like, I want to see your ID.
Dr. Oz filmed it.
Okay. And so it's a good show.
And so I said, why? She goes, because you're not this age.

Speaker 4 You got to age, you got a 16-year-old heart. I'm like, what? She goes, there's nothing wrong.
So Dr. Oz stepped in.
Okay. Smart, smart guy.

Speaker 1 No, really. Trustworthy.

Speaker 4 Yes. Said, take x-rays of this and that.
They found a blood clot in the right lung.

Speaker 1 Okay. So it's an embolism.
Exactly. There you go.
Yeah. So your heart is great.
Yeah. Yeah.
I was going to say, was there any smoke more?

Speaker 1 Was there any point?

Speaker 4 I have not making a deal with him. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Was there any point that the doctor was just like, dog, like,

Speaker 1 there's no medical term for this, but you have a broken heart from going to the bottom?

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, that's what they said, right?

Speaker 1 And I thought, I've heard of that.

Speaker 4 Like, like you know people married 65 years the guy dies the lady dies the next day you know and then i started thinking no way shit i want to stay alive because i was like now today i'm not afraid to die anymore but i don't want to stand in front of a train because i had a chance to last month and i'm like shit i don't want to die and i had a dream where she was in heaven water in the grass and i came up to scared her like that because she used to always try to sneak up on me but she can't Chergawa.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And so I went, boo.
And she turned around and said, what took you so long, Big Daddy? So I almost jumped off a building. Yeah.
Because I thought, shit, she's waiting up there on me.

Speaker 4 You know, no, it's some hard shit. It's some really.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can feel it.

Speaker 4 Apache sex is my main game. It's not anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I have a good friend. My personal assistant named Moon is my friend.
She talks about Beth, and Beth would say, and Beth would do, and Beth would do.

Speaker 4 And the way she talks about that, and she's a girl, and I don't have sex because I don't give a shit about it anymore. And that's really something for me to say.
I have 12 children.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're oh, you've had sex. I've had

Speaker 4 12 years old or up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me too. Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, you know, yeah, 22 at 12 from your girl. How old is she?

Speaker 4 She's like 17.

Speaker 1 17 and 17. Yeah,

Speaker 4 I didn't even understand. She had to use her thumb to show me what to do.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it was. I mean,

Speaker 1 from the

Speaker 1 she pegged. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 No, she showed how to put it in.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 That's the thumber.

Speaker 1 Honestly, like borderline abuse, but it's better than sex ed class. Yeah, I guess so.
If you had to learn one way, I would probably choose that.

Speaker 4 And she was my next-door neighbor, so I told my mom. My mom's like, oh, my God.
She is serious.

Speaker 4 Stay away from that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you can get advice. But

Speaker 1 you have 12 kids. Yes.
Are you still close with all of them? I know it's like every now and then there's some fights that go on. Oh, all the time.
You guys are a passionate breed.

Speaker 4 You love passion. All the time.
I got one that's Christopher is an idiot.

Speaker 4 No, he's the oldest, right? So I made him when I was 15.

Speaker 1 So he

Speaker 1 made him. I like that one.
So he sits in my lap.

Speaker 4 I'm like, my God, you idiot. But the other day he calls me from jail.
He's jail, jail, jail his whole life. So in this, in.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had a bounty hunt him? No, almost. That's like the last season.

Speaker 4 I had to tase him once.

Speaker 4 When my sons get around me, I carry a taser. All my sons are together.

Speaker 1 Even Leland? Oh, yeah. I'll tase Leland's ass.

Speaker 1 Why did you have to tase Christopher? Was he acting a fool?

Speaker 4 He was here. Listen to how he did.
He's in jail for this. So he calls me up.
Collect from Christopher from the jail. I'm like, oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what did he do? And he said, they said I beat up a blind man, Dad. I go, you beat up a blind man? He goes, yeah, they're lying.
He had glasses on.

Speaker 1 I go, what?

Speaker 4 And he had this stick he was hitting me with, dad. I beat the fuck out of him.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, you dumbass.

Speaker 1 No, that's a true story.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. So that's Christopher.
He beats up trucks, cars,

Speaker 4 bicycles, and goes to prison for one or two years. And then he calls me from prison.
Dad, I'm like, coo, they know I'm dogging the bounty hunters, son.

Speaker 1 They know it's cool here.

Speaker 4 No, I mean, but yeah, there's all, we have all of them.

Speaker 1 A lot of them. Baby Lisa's doing well? Yeah, she's doing.

Speaker 4 She's in the next season two. Okay, nice.
Gary Boy, he just was on last night. You see him, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Remember, he was, I went to Bounty Hunt. Dad, he's five years old, tall as my boot.
Yes. He's 6'4, 225, 230.

Speaker 4 No, he thinks he's a cop because he's junior, cop, junior man. What did he say last night? That's on the show.
Oh, you're all like, be advised. Yeah, okay, let's be advised.
And I'm like, be advised.

Speaker 4 He's talking like a cop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what the hell, bro? Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, we're not cops, Gary boy. Yeah.
And he's like, dad, we've been out 15 minutes and you've broken 13

Speaker 4 laws and running stop signs. Dad, one more.
It's a felony. Sounds like a narc.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, really. Yeah, I tell him, you're a rat.

Speaker 4 His mom used to say, shut up, rat.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So I have my last question.
It is a Seeki question. Promo code take.
Put it in. You get $10 off.
You want to go to a sporting event. Are you a sports fan?

Speaker 4 Yes, football mostly.

Speaker 1 Okay, what do you like? Who's your team?

Speaker 4 Right now,

Speaker 4 I've got a lot of them. I like

Speaker 4 49ers are freaking me out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're getting good.

Speaker 4 Yes. I like Patriots.

Speaker 4 Wow, he's the best in the world.

Speaker 4 The Green Bay, whoa, you see him throwing that ball. My God.

Speaker 1 You're like Drake. You're like America's Drake.

Speaker 4 I like this. No, he's doing real good.
Yeah. And then Seattle, what happened? Yeah.
You know, they quit beating him up. The quarterback, slapping him and stuff, he got cold.

Speaker 1 They'll be all right. I think Seattle is going to be one of the things.

Speaker 4 Broncos, well, they need to change their name. They stink.
Just put El Way down there and coach and shut up.

Speaker 1 And let's rock and roll. So, my last question is: how many fist fights do you think you've been in? Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Oh, I couldn't tell you.

Speaker 4 One every two weeks, probably. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I always, I always, uh, it's always funny watching on the show when some guy thinks he wants to go at you and you're just like, come on, you don't want this. And then he backs down.

Speaker 4 Well, I used to box. So, you know, in 91 was my last fight because I had high blood pressure.

Speaker 4 The doctor said, this is it. And so I took karate.
He was a black belt.

Speaker 4 i was raised in the bruce lee era and uh i can throw down so you know they these criminals are so high or they think they're tough you know yeah they're they're not could you fight your way out of this room right now oh yeah all of us on you damn well you take yours

Speaker 1 david would be there too so he'd take david out he's he goes out of the room and he's like dog

Speaker 1 They're going to fight for their life to keep you in this room. Well, you get out of it.

Speaker 4 When you get in a gang like that and you get somebody jumps you, you take one of them and you don't quit beating him.

Speaker 4 And you just, because you're getting hit from the side in the back and you just keep hitting him.

Speaker 1 So who's the one that you

Speaker 4 right there smiling?

Speaker 1 Oh, Jake has a smart call. Good call.
Dog knows. I don't think Jake's ever been punched.

Speaker 1 Jake, you would have no fucking face out of it. Jake's a pretty tough guy.
No, you'd be hit by the bad.

Speaker 4 I'd say, tell him to stop.

Speaker 1 And then he'd say, stop, you guys.

Speaker 1 Tell him to stop.

Speaker 1 And you know what? Hearing Jake scream out in agony would probably make me stop. Stop.
I would feel so bad. I'd be like, okay, dog, okay.

Speaker 4 Just leave him alone.

Speaker 1 Your face is dead. Let's hear Jake say stop one time.
Jamie, say, stop, dog. Stop beating me up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is.
Right. There it is.
Fuck out of him.

Speaker 1 You're smart. That's smart.

Speaker 4 Oh, shit. We need to bounty hunt, bro.

Speaker 1 I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 We could help with some of the social media stuff for real. I'll go anytime you want.
I will be there. I will bounty hunt.
I love it. I'm going to fucking give Cameron.
I drive. I'll give you Davis.

Speaker 1 Cell number. I'll fucking zip tie someone.
I'll mace someone. Cameron Lawhead, you're going down.

Speaker 1 I'll crack a couple jokes while we sit on those couches at the whiteboard.

Speaker 4 Whatever you do. Well, what it does, here's what it does: is that if

Speaker 4 you're a celebrity and you're here and everyone knows you, when they you tell that guy, listen, man, smoke pot, relax. You had sex in how long? You're not, you're chasing the dragon.
Right.

Speaker 4 You can't even do that anymore. Sleep or nothing.
And then he meets you. He changes his life.

Speaker 4 right or just like you meet stallone right he wants to go on one of the ride-alongs you meet rocky right you're done with you know whatever we'll go after a guy that beats his old lady i already told him and we'll catch him and then you tell him next time you beat your wife i'm coming to beat you when you i mean when they meet like you celebrities they change it really does change their life So we need to wait till you find someone who's done something illegal that follows us on Twitter and then you call us.

Speaker 1 And we're like, we'll go man to man to them and be like, listen, man, you don't want the

Speaker 1 dogs in the car right now. You want to do this the easy way or the hard way? What crime do you think is most likely for somebody that's a fan of part of my take to commit?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I would say

Speaker 1 running an illegal

Speaker 1 bookmaking operation.

Speaker 1 Drugs, because you're a bad inference. I'm a bad influence.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, one of those. Drugs or bookmaking.
So if

Speaker 4 somebody knows what's really great, chasing. The best chase we ever had was a counterfeiter.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.
And we caught him by the tats. Oh, really? Because I was looking at his tats, and I was like, that cannot be that real.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And he did it himself. He was right-handed.

Speaker 1 Of course, a counterfeiter would do his own tats.

Speaker 4 The guy was an artist.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right?

Speaker 4 We got him. But, yeah, that's the fun one.
Yeah. What's counterfeiters?

Speaker 1 What's the most scared you've ever been during a bounty hunt?

Speaker 4 Well, you're scared every time. You're not scared, but you're worried.
Because I put the mug shot up somewhere, right? And like on the wherever I can see it all day and study it all week.

Speaker 4 And then sometimes you walk by it and you hear it say, I'm going to get you, motherfucker.

Speaker 4 I'm the one going to get you. And then you go, no, you're not.
You punk. And

Speaker 4 you talk to the mug shot and you start, you know, feeling that, right? And you kind of see where he's going to get you at. And I've got one right now that it's a single

Speaker 4 shotgun, a really long one that I know I'm going to see come out of the room. So, I mean, there's thoughts, you see it before it happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 you almost get afraid before you have a chance to be afraid.

Speaker 4 Yes, and then when something happens, I know how I go up to the door. I know how I go in.

Speaker 4 Deja vu, when it does that, stop and back off because God showed you that's going to happen. So stop right now.
And then you get shot and go, why did I get shot? God goes, I tried to tell you, man.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Well, best looking out for you now, though.
Thank you. There you go.
Dog.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 4 It's Very fun, you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, anytime you're in town, please come by.

Speaker 1 And anytime you need our help in a bounty hunt, we are always ready to help.

Speaker 4 Okay, David's going to give you a sell, so we want

Speaker 1 to go. Why can't I bring that motherfucker in?

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 That interview with Dog the Bounty Hunter was brought to you by...

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. We got two things we got to get to before we get to guys on shicks.
We have PMT Sports Biz. All right, so let's do PMT SportsBiz.

Speaker 1 This is actually the last one for a while, right? Because our darling Jake is going,

Speaker 1 he's going to still produce a video version on his Twitter account, but our darling Jake is going back to be the voice of the Vermont Catamounts basketball team radio. America's team.

Speaker 1 America's team radio.

Speaker 1 He's going to be. Listen, when Jake becomes the next Joe Buck, just remember he started by getting us weird costumes and Red Bulls and being awesome at trolling Revelle with us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jake, do you remember, what is the weirdest request that we've made of you?

Speaker 1 There's no microphone in front of Jake.

Speaker 1 Hank's going to repeat.

Speaker 5 for

Speaker 5 his turtleneck. Turtlenecks.

Speaker 1 I've had him go out and get about 15 turtlenecks. Okay.
He's had to go everywhere for the turtleneck. You need a different one each week? I actually found a store down the street.

Speaker 1 Before you leave, I'm going to have you go get more. They're mock neck, mock turtlenecks.
Stock up. Yeah.
Before he leaves for time. Stock up mock.
Alright, so let's do some PMT sports biz.

Speaker 1 Good morning, this is Jake Marsh with a PMT Sports Biz Minute. Last week, Jets quarterback Sam Darnold admitted to seeing ghosts when facing the Patriots defense.

Speaker 1 And funny enough, Halloween happens to be tomorrow. Back in the day, dressing up in costumes was a way to hide from ghosts.

Speaker 1 Celtics and other Europeans would wear masks so that the ghosts would think they were fellow spirits.

Speaker 1 And to keep the ghosts out of their homes, people would place bowls of food outside of their homes to keep the ghosts happy.

Speaker 1 Coming Saturday afternoon in Jacksonville, the world's largest outdoor cocktail party, aka

Speaker 1 Florida versus Georgia. And you won't believe where the name cocktail came from.
According to longtime bartender Jerry Thomas, ginger was used in the horse trade to make a horse stick its tail up.

Speaker 4 Here's the scene.

Speaker 1 You have a horse you're trying to sell. Back in the day, folks would stick ginger up its butt.
It would stick its tail up and be frisky. That, naturally, would be known as a cocktail.

Speaker 1 That's your PMT Sports Biz Minute, Mr. Kat and Mr.
Commenter. Back to you.

Speaker 4 Thanks, Jake. Thanks, Jake.

Speaker 1 Really cool. Very cool.
Jake's still going to be part of our lives, though. He's staying, he's still going to blog for us.
He's going to be back throughout the season. So he's not leaving, leaving.

Speaker 1 And he's also done a great job of keeping up with the fullback assist stats. Yes.
Which Kyle Jushek is still in first place, right? Yeah. So Jake's not leaving us.

Speaker 1 He's just going to go be a star for the Vermont Catamounts basketball team, radio. Such a funny name for a team, too, the Catamounts.
We got to get...

Speaker 1 We got to crash the radio site one day to have everyone listen to it. We also need to, if people can help us, we need to have Jake have a signature call.
Ooh, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 So, like, Mike Breen has his bang. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Joe Buck has Yabo.

Speaker 1 We need something for Jake. So, people, if you can think of something,

Speaker 1 he will say whatever you, he will literally say whatever you say on air because he has to do it because we're his boss. How about this one? Holy shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mother freaker. Oh, that's a good one.
Mother freaker off of like a big dunk. A mother freaking dunk.
You should just steal boom goes to Dynamite.

Speaker 5 Or just take wet into the broadcasting mainstream.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Is Anthony Lamb still on the team? Anthony Lamb, wet.

Speaker 1 Anthony Lamb, mother freaking three. Yeah, that's good.
That's good.

Speaker 1 What? Klunk.

Speaker 1 Use a bunch of NBA Jam ones, too.

Speaker 1 He's heating up. Boom, Shakalaka.
Move the shoes. If you did Boom Shakalaka, that would actually be legit.

Speaker 1 Okay. We'll workshop that.
So next up, before we get to to guys on chicks with chaps, we have a respect the biz. Hank, would you like to explain what's going on?

Speaker 5 Yes. So on Saturday, on the part of my take Twitter, someone, AWL, tweeted me a clip of a game day, the host of Game Day, talking trash about Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 5 In the clip, the host was like, you know, I don't like all this Mount Rushmore people that just talk about Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 5 So it was a little aggressive, and it was only like a three-second clip, so I don't really even understand the context of it.

Speaker 1 Weren't they in South Dakota at the time? Yeah, that's it. you got you can't go into South Dakota and disrespect Mount Rush exactly.

Speaker 5 So, regardless of context,

Speaker 1 I immediately

Speaker 5 immediately took the clip, I tweeted it, and I said, You just made the list, and I added Chris Fowler because I thought it was Chris Fowler, and then it turned out Chris Fowler responded.

Speaker 5 He was very upset, and he was like, Are you kidding me? This isn't me. I haven't done Game Day since 2014.
Like, figure it out. It turns out it was Rhys Davis.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he gives off powerful Chris Fowler energy. Yes, I would agree.
They're the same guy. You're the same guy.

Speaker 1 I had to do a triple.

Speaker 5 I was like, at first, I was like, oh, fuck, I fucked up. And then I looked into it and I was like, wait a second, I would do this.
Much like Matt Nagy, I would do this 100 times out of 100.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all those guys, they're all different iterations of Carl Ravage. Just different generations.
So we're on Carl Ravage 3 right now. Yes.

Speaker 1 And the only reason that it got brought to our attention is because, yeah, Jake, we have to show that picture that you sent us. We had to tweet that.
Yeah, Jake. Jake is a true blue.

Speaker 1 The reason why Jake works is because he really is like Darren Revelle. If Darren Revelle just got, someone had an intervention with Darren Revelle before it went too far.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you dose Darren Revelle with ayahuasca or like a little bit of ecstasy. Well, he was the one that was mad about it.

Speaker 1 He was like, do you know this?

Speaker 5 I was like, you saw this, right? And I was like, oh. And then I felt bad.
I was like, wait a second.

Speaker 1 Jake has pictures with like every sports center anchor ever.

Speaker 1 Pretty much. He's like, look at this.
12-year-old Jake with Carl. Wait, who is it?

Speaker 1 Carl Ravish. Reese Davis.
Carl Ravish III. I don't know.
They're all the fucking same. They were built in a Bristol factory and they look exactly the same.
Hey, look, they all do a great job. They do.

Speaker 1 I don't know which one's which, but they all do a great job. They all do the same great job, which is they kind of stay out of the way.

Speaker 1 They interject little sentences that kind of just amplify small moments of the game. Where's Chris Fowler now? Yes, John.
What does he do? He does primetime games with Chris Rowland.

Speaker 1 And what does Reese Davis do?

Speaker 1 That's too confusing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's fucked up. I didn't realize.
I thought Rhys got with him and went with him to the games. And Fowler used to host Game Day.
Yeah, that's all. This is not.
This isn't okay.

Speaker 1 All right, sorry, not sorry. No, you're not.
You're totally in the clear, Hank. They have deliberately tried to deceive us.
And then you got bullshit.

Speaker 1 And then Mike Greenberg is essentially the same as all of them. He's in studio.
Yeah, he's trying to bring Greenberg to him. No, Greenie is.

Speaker 1 Greenie is

Speaker 1 Reese Davis with a wife. Finds a way to make Mike Greenberg happen.

Speaker 1 I still miss Mike. When is Mike coming on the show?

Speaker 1 Somebody tweet at Mike Greenberg and say that we love him. him.

Speaker 1 You just got to go to that Starbucks on the 27th. I still haven't met him.
And just stand there and wait for him.

Speaker 1 He walks his,

Speaker 1 what's Phoebe? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you know his dog?

Speaker 1 I mean, he fucking tweets about it non-stop. I follow him.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy you knew his name. Well, it's one of those situations where

Speaker 1 you have to. Phoebe's a good dog.
You have to get the interests of your partner. So like, oh, my part, like, you know, like, ooh, like, my, my husband's starting to play golf.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start playing a little golf. Like, my work husband loves Mike Greenberg.
I might as well figure out everything about Mike Greenberg so we can have conversations.

Speaker 1 That's why I am all aboard Mitch Trubisky because I'm trying to learn more about your interests. Yes, we can have, when we sit down for dinner, we always have things to talk about.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go to Uncle Chaps and guys on checks. We welcome our great friend, Uncle Chaps, who has...

Speaker 1 Shaved his beard off. Chaps has really come out of his shell about showing his face ever since you got your pink eye taken care of.
Yeah. Did you always have no lips?

Speaker 7 No, that one hurts because I never noticed it. That was

Speaker 7 shocking to me when I woke up in the hotel this morning and turned the light on, and I was like, I have worm lips.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Can you set the scene of chaps how long you've had the beard and what

Speaker 7 yeah, so I had a beard for I know exactly when because I got out of the Marine Corps on December.

Speaker 1 Thank you for sharing.

Speaker 7 December 1st of 2012. Okay.
And I've had a beard ever since then.

Speaker 1 So it's been eight years. Yeah.
And then you just years. Poof.

Speaker 1 Nine years. Seven.
Seven years. Poof.
Shaved it all. And you decided to shave your playoff beard on the eve

Speaker 1 of a clinching

Speaker 1 World Series game against my Nationals. You're a Nastros fan.
Well, you also decided not to wear a mask. I was like, I'm not sure if you're a uniform.
Which is very... Well, we're recording.

Speaker 1 That beat Clayton Kershaw, that swept the Cardinals. We're recording this

Speaker 1 before we taped the live stream, so I might put it on. You don't know that.
That's true. We have no idea.
But, chaps, it's a very cocky move of you to shave your beard before a clinching game.

Speaker 7 See, people are saying it's a playoff beard. I think a playoff beard you have to start growing at the beginning of the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Which you, well, you grew it at the beginning of the playoffs. Chaps, I have good news for you.
Just any beard removal at this point is questionable. You have no lips.
True.

Speaker 1 But that's a good thing because I've done some investigative research, and the richer you are, the less lips you have. Have you ever seen Warren Buffett's lips? Look at that guy.
No lips.

Speaker 1 No lips at a moment. The old, rich white dudes, zero lips.
I think that's just old old people, though, because they're just losing their lips.

Speaker 1 It's like John Wooten. Yeah, he got his ears bigger.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Maybe you could get some silicon injected there. I thought about it.
Bill Gates. Yep.
No lips. Let me see.
Look at that. Look at that fucking no-lip loser.
He's got no lips. That's no lips.

Speaker 1 That's like me. Yeah, you got no lips.
Actually, you know what we should do?

Speaker 1 We should get one of those cupping things, you know, like the swimmers do before they go, and just put them around your lips and just suck them out. So you get a lot of blood in there.

Speaker 7 I think I've lost... I think my lips are the same.
I think it's the color that has gone away.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do. You look old and

Speaker 1 look gross. I don't like it.

Speaker 1 No, your face is

Speaker 1 abhorrent. I like his face.

Speaker 1 What are some of the things people have compared your face to?

Speaker 5 What are the most common?

Speaker 7 Getting bubbles from Trailer Park.

Speaker 1 A banana slug. You look like a moon.

Speaker 7 Moon. Yeah.
Somebody told me I look like a basketball that was left out in the sun for a long time.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I'd say like a basketball that's been left inside a garage, like totally out of the sun.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire.

Speaker 1 You look like a cartoon, like a really, yeah, you do look like Mrs. Doubtfire.
You look like a

Speaker 1 rated R cartoon that they put on Adult Swim at like two in the morning. You're like, ugh.
Yeah. That's what you look like.
You look like

Speaker 1 a German cartoon that's educating kids on how to wear condoms, and you're the cartoon penis.

Speaker 7 The really mean one was somebody said that I look like Bisquick batter that somebody drew eyes on.

Speaker 1 Oh, that is over the line. Yeah, yeah.
You do look like a rotten pancake. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 A pancake, you're like, ooh. Anyone want this last pancake? No.

Speaker 1 Throw it out. That's Uncle Chap.

Speaker 1 You look like the stay puff marshmallow man started to melt. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 What about.

Speaker 7 Oh, somebody hit me with, oh, hey, you guys looking ass.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Have you thought about now that you're now that your face is a blank canvas,

Speaker 1 you can grow that facial hair out in any pattern that you desire until until you bring the entire beard back. Are you thinking something different? No.
Just straight beard? Just straight beard.

Speaker 1 You just get back as fast as possible. Yeah, we got to get back off the IR.
This is good, though, because eventually you're going to try it. It's good that you tried it around us.

Speaker 1 We're thinking the right thing.

Speaker 7 I've been alluding to it in tweets for a long time. It's been something that I've thought about because my beard has been so long that it was like breaking.

Speaker 1 No, but it looked good.

Speaker 1 I loved your beard.

Speaker 1 My beard didn't look great. I got a very pubic beard as it is.
Well, okay, so here's a spin zone.

Speaker 1 I asked for Hank's opinion, and Hank was like, I will not give judgment because Hank also looks horrendous when he shaves his face.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it happens.
It could be me. Yeah.
I also, yeah. He's got no chin.
I think most people who primarily talk about it. You have one right now.

Speaker 7 You automatically look worse.

Speaker 1 Well, yes.

Speaker 7 Even like Brad Pitt looks better with the beard. Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, beards are in now. So I also, I have a bad,

Speaker 1 no, I have a bad face when I don't grow a beard. The problem with me is I can't grow a beard, so I'm just stuck with this.

Speaker 1 At least you're able to grow the hair over the face. Yeah.
I envy you, sir. Yeah, uh, what about the fact that your lips are so small? Do you think you're more resistant to herpes? Yeah,

Speaker 1 how do you drink out of

Speaker 1 like a bottle? Do you get the correct suction? Do you remember that? It probably just spills down your fucking face.

Speaker 7 I remember him being blogged in old school barstool. Remember the dude who used to chug snapple and Mountain Dew?

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 neck. That's how I feel.
Yeah. You have no suction ability.
No. You have no sealing ability.

Speaker 1 You go to drink.

Speaker 7 I really like coming on this show.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do guys on chicks. Yeah, we love having you here, too.
You got the questions?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I got the questions.

Speaker 7 Hey, perfectly normal, having eyes, Chapsy. What's your routine when styling, conditioning your beard?

Speaker 1 That sucks. Next question.
Here's the, but that is.

Speaker 1 That's a legit question for you, though. Like, when you have a beard, what do you use to condition yourself?

Speaker 7 I have a, there's a brand called Monet, I think it's called.

Speaker 1 Ooh, fancy. Uh-huh.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 So they have a leave-in conditioner that I leave-in.

Speaker 1 I've always heard coconut oil. Coconut oil is is good, too.
Is it? Yeah. I think it is.
Avocado oil. It's like that, apple cider vinegar.
That's cured for whatever ails it.

Speaker 1 It really is, though, a lesson, and you can never get too high, too low, because your eye does look phenomenal. Yeah.
Like, it looks 100% back, so you had to even it out by shaving your beard.

Speaker 1 Couldn't deal with too many compliments. Right, right.
People were starting to get a little

Speaker 1 chassis.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was getting too many.
Are you not allowed to have a beard in the service? No, you're not.

Speaker 1 So what about all the special operators that I've seen over and over?

Speaker 7 They get waivers and stuff. But the Navy SEALs actually took that away when they got in trouble for partying too much in Iraq when they built the bar.

Speaker 7 They got their beard privileges taken away.

Speaker 1 That's a harsh start to the bottom. Imagine how this you'd be.
Right.

Speaker 1 You look at it every day. Right.
And also just... Well, I also gained a lot of weight since the last time.

Speaker 7 I used to have no double chin. I'm double-chin city now.
And it's not even double-chin. It's like...

Speaker 1 swollen hand. That's all the hair from

Speaker 1 your beard was pulling that part of your chin skin down though.

Speaker 1 You're stretching it out.

Speaker 7 Right here makes me feel bad about myself.

Speaker 1 A little bit. Feel it.
Touch it. It's like a nutsack.
It's like Peter Griffin's chin. Yeah, it's like a nutsack.

Speaker 7 It's like, you know, when a dog gets neutered and their nuts just kind of swing for a little while.

Speaker 1 No balls, nothing.

Speaker 7 I basically have no nuts.

Speaker 1 We should get nudicals put in your chin.

Speaker 1 Fuck, man. All right.
All right. By the way, listen to the chap's podcast, Zero Block30, if you want to hear more military stuff.
Yeah. And Podfathers.

Speaker 7 And Pod Fathers. And Pod Fathers.
Yeah, yeah. Shout out Pod Fathers.

Speaker 1 I got to go on sometime.

Speaker 7 Podfathers, yeah, definitely. We were going to do that, but then you all

Speaker 1 were like, oh, I'm super busy. What's up, guys? My question is for chefs.
It's a callback from Monday's show.

Speaker 7 Do guys' beards hurt them as much as they hurt us? Is that why you shaved it?

Speaker 7 Whenever I make out with a guy who has a substantial beard, I get cuts and beard burns on my face, and it's kind of painful. I've actually heard that's the opposite.

Speaker 7 Unless you go in with right after you shave, you're more likely to get facial burn from like day-old stuff.

Speaker 1 Stubble, yeah, yeah, I agree with that. So like long, long beard, it's it's kind of softer.

Speaker 7 It's not going to do that.

Speaker 1 Kiss PFT. Let's see.
Give me a kiss.

Speaker 1 Okay. That was kind of.
Did it hurt? It was scrape it. Did it hurt? Spec it, yeah.
Did it hurt? I mean, I couldn't really feel it because he's got no lips.

Speaker 1 That's a bad kiss.

Speaker 1 I expected a wetter kiss. I wasn't tender, as I should have been.
No, you weren't.

Speaker 1 So, wait, so you're saying immediately after you shave, that's when it can get you because the hairs are really sharp. Right.
And then if you wait for like two days.

Speaker 7 I think you got to be, your sweet spot is 30 minutes after a a shave.

Speaker 1 That's the make-out time?

Speaker 7 That's the heavy making out. And then after that, you got to wait to like nine days.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Come up for air.
Yeah. Then get back into friendship.
Yep. Are we ready? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Hi, PMT crew, especially the World Series Champion Nationals, PFT.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 7 I'm in a very bad predicament with this love triangle. I'm a news reporter with my husband.
We're known as the married news team around the office.

Speaker 7 Lately, I've been seeing an investigative journalist from the same news station. Ever since I started that, I really just don't love my husband, but he's such a good guy.

Speaker 7 I've been putting pepper flakes on my nipples to deter him and eating an absurd amount of swarma to stir up my spaghetti house. Am I a bad person if I become married news team with Stevie? Help.

Speaker 1 This seems like the plot from a movie that we're not aware of. Yeah.
Maybe. Sometimes they try to sneak those in on it.
It's definitely a plot that we haven't seen. What movie is that?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 Chili Flakes on My Nipples.

Speaker 7 Chili Flakes on My Nipples.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with The Passion of of the Christ. That is the plot line of the passion of the Christ.
Nice try. Chap two.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go.

Speaker 7 Hey, Slim Cat.

Speaker 1 Pig.

Speaker 4 Oh, pig PFT.

Speaker 1 Pig PFT. That's a new one.
Dang.

Speaker 7 And Henry, this is a beard question for chaps. My boyfriend has been insecure about not being able to grow facial hair.
He's young 20s.

Speaker 7 He recently started putting Rogan on his face after hearing it's like steroids for beards. And the thing is, it worked on his face, but also worked on the rest of his body.

Speaker 7 His arm and leg hair is now darker and thicker, and he's sprouting new hairs on his chest, fingers, and toes. And on top of it, he's growing in Unibrow now.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 7 He's happy with his beard so far, but I'm concerned that if I let him continue,

Speaker 7 I'll be dating cousin It before I know it. What should I do?

Speaker 1 Fingers. Yeah, that's weird.
Because otherwise, you're just a Greek guy. He's just Greek.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but I don't think there's...

Speaker 1 Spiros.

Speaker 1 It's an exotic guy.

Speaker 7 What? Some chests are just too hairy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Like, I think it's okay to be sporadic chest, but when you, like Robin Williams, for example, you don't want that one.

Speaker 1 He's He's a bare chest. He's a bar.
He looks like Jack Link Sasquatch guy.

Speaker 1 I think there's also a chance that this guy is just on steroids and that he said that he's putting Rogaine on his face because he's realized that his whole body is a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Does steroids make you grow hair? Yeah, it can make you grow hair. Not that I've ever taken them.
More you know. Yeah.
The more you know. Check out his back.

Speaker 1 If there's acne all over the back, that's a telltale.

Speaker 7 That'll make some growth.

Speaker 1 Throw him a fastball, see how far he goes.

Speaker 7 Some ladies actually like Bacne. Yeah.
Because they like to pop it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's true. Yeah.
Which is bizarre to me.

Speaker 7 What's up, boys, especially Buffcat? My BF won't, my boyfriend won't cuddle with me when we're sleeping because he says he runs hot and gets too sweaty. Yep, I think that's it.

Speaker 7 Is that just an excuse to not snuggle me or do guys actually run too hot? No, I run hot.

Speaker 1 I run hot. I run hot.
I run real hot.

Speaker 7 I put at like nine minutes cuddle time tops.

Speaker 1 I'll hold hands all night.

Speaker 7 Yeah. But I will not cuddle all night.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm a big, big, hot sleeper.
In fact, most of the time, I just kick the blanket off. I'm separate blankets in my house because I run so hot.

Speaker 7 What's your perfect cuddle?

Speaker 1 Getting spooned. You like being little spooned? Who doesn't like being little spooned?

Speaker 7 I like, so you're laying there, one leg over one of my legs, and then head gently.

Speaker 1 Oh, you feel like a masculine man.

Speaker 7 And you're just like, I am lazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 this is my house.

Speaker 1 I put this all together. Yeah.
He's the bad guy. I'm the strong man.
I like the strong man. I like that, especially when you're not making an effort to reciprocate the cuddle at all.

Speaker 1 when like you're doing you've got your hands behind your head and the world is yours you might transition to a lovely little blue jack she's got

Speaker 1 she's got her arms around me yeah uh that and then when i'm big spoon and i do the thing where one leg in between your two legs and then wrap around fully and then once i start to get a surprise boner i turn away and i kick the blanket off and i go to sleep yeah i can't stand doing big spoon because then it's inevitable that i get a boner yeah and and you feel bad because sometimes you get that boner no matter who it is.

Speaker 1 And you don't. It's not, I want to have sex bonus.
It's just like contact. God is telling me that in this circumstance, I should have one.
And I don't mean to be impolite. So I'll show myself out.

Speaker 7 It's like thinking about a pickle. You just want a pickle at that point.

Speaker 1 Damn it.

Speaker 1 Right? It's good. You hear the word pickle, you automatically want one.
It's like yawning. Guys are like that too with their boners.
Where one guy gets a boner in a room, everyone else gets one.

Speaker 1 That's been my experience.

Speaker 7 Hey, boys, especially Blackout Bubba. I'm a guy who wears a beard constantly and doesn't ever fully shave because when I do, I look like the old guy from eight crazy nights.

Speaker 7 So my question is, why the fuck would chaps do the same thing to himself? Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's confusing. Well, I got borised big time.
You got borised. That has happened to me where you go into a barbershop and you just kind of, like, once they start, you fucking.

Speaker 7 When I sat down and he was like, we'll do a trim. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I sat there and he's like, actually, you should do a full straight race.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I should do a full straight race. I should.
And then he pulled it out.

Speaker 7 It wasn't even like a real discussion.

Speaker 1 He's like, we'll do a full straight race. You will love it.
You know what this day was missing? Was a hairy Eastern European guy holding a razor blade to my jugular.

Speaker 1 You know what, Boris, you make a good point. I've run into that situation.

Speaker 1 in a place that was obviously a front for the mob where the guy had no idea how to cut hair and he was genuinely shocked that i went in there and i sat down and he was like are we we do this i was like yeah and then about two seconds of the haircut it became very clear.

Speaker 1 He had no idea how to cut hair. But again, once you're in the chair, you can't move.
Yeah. No.
It would be rude for me to leave. So I let him finish a shitty haircut, and then I got out of there.

Speaker 1 I was like, that was a big sign. I did not read all the signs when I was coming up.
Yes.

Speaker 7 When I started my day yesterday, I did not feel like an old Russian man was going to say this sentence to me.

Speaker 1 But that's the beauty of this.

Speaker 7 Do you want me to cream you?

Speaker 1 Cream you.

Speaker 1 Say it again. Do you want me to cream you?

Speaker 1 He creamed me good. He creamed the fuck out of you.
You got cream. I got cream.
We'd love to clap your cheeks today. You look very good with no beard.
What did your wife say?

Speaker 1 No, I don't want to say that. She.

Speaker 1 There were rumors that she hung up on FaceTime when she did. No,

Speaker 1 her direct quote was, you make me want to be.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'll say, I just went to go with the beard stroke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the other thing.

Speaker 7 That's the most embarrassing one when you go to stroke your beard. There's no longer a beard.

Speaker 7 That's even worse than I've done it before, too, where I go to push up my glasses and I'm not wearing my glasses.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 That one's a fucking.

Speaker 1 I've had a mustache, like, obviously I have a beard too, but I've had a mustache for like three, four years now. And every time, the last time I did it, it was just weird.
You can't do that.

Speaker 1 You can't get rid of it. No.

Speaker 7 It's just, it becomes like a, that's a grown man's teddy bear. Yes.
Yes. You feel like my beard, I feel like Linus without his blanket.

Speaker 7 Damn.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You look like Charlie Brown.

Speaker 1 You do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You look like Charlie Brown grew up, became an accountant, and gave up on life.

Speaker 7 I look like Charlie Brown who has a very terrible illness.

Speaker 7 Nope.

Speaker 1 Doctors can't figure it out.

Speaker 1 They named it after Charlie Brown featured on the show. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 7 Sup, boys, especially sports biz Jake. I'm in college, and my roommate brought back a boy from the bar last weekend, Halloween weekend, who was dressed as PFT.

Speaker 7 He walked all around our house saying, Sup, and that Leroy has breaking news. When he asked someone what the breaking news was, he said, someone is going to pound town.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. I went to bed not knowing what happened.

Speaker 7 The next morning, I woke up to a DM from this saying, Sup, I left my wig at your house. Can I come by tonight and pick it up? What do we do?

Speaker 1 Go back to Poundtown. Yeah, you go back to Poundtown.

Speaker 1 This guy sounds insanely cool and good looking. So obviously bring him back over to get his wig back.

Speaker 1 So, what about if you win?

Speaker 1 Breaking moves. I'm about to come.

Speaker 1 He started mooing every time he came. Yeah.
That'd be good. It'd be hot.

Speaker 7 Bitch, I'm a cow. Hey, PMT boys, especially Slim Cat.
So question, why is it that guys always want to avoid a serious conversation?

Speaker 7 Is it because they simply don't care or they know that their girlfriend has an agenda and they don't want to be caught out on their bullshit?

Speaker 1 I need answers.

Speaker 1 Serious conversations are scary. They're good to have once every year.

Speaker 1 If you have one serious conversation a year, then you feel like a man, you feel like you're in charge of yourself. The rest, we're just looking for short-term stimulus.

Speaker 1 It's also one of those things where serious conversations, like they need to be planned way ahead of time. Because if they pop up, you're like, I can't do this right now.

Speaker 7 You need to introduce a serious conversation when the person that you've had it with has had two and a half glasses of red wine.

Speaker 7 That's the perfect conversation.

Speaker 1 And it's got to really ease into it. Yeah.
Can't just spring it on them. Yeah, because we're just stupid.

Speaker 7 And you got to start it by leaning back. crossing your one leg over the other.

Speaker 1 Can I ask you something? Yeah. Don't look them in the eye.
We need to talk. Yeah, because you don't want...
That's a tough one. No, no, don't do we need to talk.
No, that's terrible. We need to talk.

Speaker 1 Well, the chap's body language that he was describing, that to me was describing the we need to talk. But don't say we need to talk.

Speaker 1 Do not say that we need to talk about it.

Speaker 7 I would know my biggest pet peeve with a relationship with anybody is, hey, do you have time to talk tomorrow? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just don't say it now.

Speaker 1 Or give me a call. The text saying, give me a call.
You call me. I hate that.
I hate that. Because it's like, what, like, and you're like, okay, is it urgent? What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Just text me what's happening.

Speaker 7 Dude, give me a call. It's tough.

Speaker 7 We need to talk about something tomorrow. Dave does that to me all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All the time. He's like three times.
Very easy way to just be like, we're not going to have the conversation.

Speaker 1 That makes me scary. You should start a Slack channel with your husband.
Just you and him.

Speaker 1 Just hammer it all out online. Yeah.
And then blog at Matt. Yeah, just blog at each other.

Speaker 7 Start or sit. Co-workers with benefits.

Speaker 1 Sit.

Speaker 1 Start for a little. Depending on how long you want to be at the job.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm going to sit it entirely.

Speaker 7 Well, my wife and I both work from home, so we kind of are co-workers too.

Speaker 4 There you go. That's a good point.
We've been married 10 years.

Speaker 1 Oh, that works. Yeah, yeah.
Works out for us.

Speaker 7 Hey, boy, shout out to Dad Cat for becoming Dad Bod Cat.

Speaker 7 What are y'all's best tips for I'm having a whore, but I'm definitely only trying to fuck Tinder account.

Speaker 1 What? I'm not a whore, but I'm trying to fuck. We're giving her advice on how to use her Tinder account.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 As somebody who's never used Tinder, it's going to be difficult for me.

Speaker 7 She said that she needs something that screams the good kind of daddy issues that taught her better than that.

Speaker 1 Okay, so here it is. Make enough money to go on Raya.
That's the one that Biz talks about, where it's rich people only. Oh.
Yeah. That's a good one.

Speaker 5 I think that one's been compromised, though.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah, the normies.

Speaker 1 The poor's a Raya. They only just have one nice thing.
Rudy's in Raya.

Speaker 5 There's people

Speaker 1 off the set of Riaia. No, no, no, no, no.
App is on it? Rudy. One of the camera guys.
So the next one is we don't know about. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, And we won't find out about it until after it's been copied. Until Biz has run through the whole thing.

Speaker 1 Tell you what, ask this question to Biz. He'll let you know.
Also, just have your profile say, I'm only looking for the Alex to my Sophia.

Speaker 1 And then that will send the message across

Speaker 1 loud and clear.

Speaker 7 All right, here's the next one. Hi, Big Cat.
My boyfriend of seven months today is a huge fan of you guys and your podcast.

Speaker 7 In fact, he's such a big fan that he makes me sit and listen to hours of your podcast and YouTube clips.

Speaker 7 Half the time, I don't don't even know what you guys are talking about, and I'm forced to sit there and fake laugh. No offense to you guys.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 7 At times, we'll just be sitting there talking, and he bursts out laughing and says, oh, it's nothing. It's just something Big Cat said.
How do I make him love me more than you guys? Thanks.

Speaker 1 Damn. I mean, the easy answer is just start dressing like me.
Yeah. It seems to work.
It seemed to work for the poundtown.

Speaker 1 That's poundtown. Dress like me and then say, breaking moves, we're going to poundtown.
No, I think the advice we always give with this is you just need to start learning sports more than him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, and then correcting his sports takes, and then he'd be like, you know what? I don't like sports anymore.

Speaker 1 You just beat him to it.

Speaker 7 Hey, BMT boys, my boyfriend has taken a laxative three Sunday nights in a row to, quote, get a rush start to the week.

Speaker 1 Is this more

Speaker 1 should I get be concerned? That's smart. To flush out your weekend.
Yeah. Get the spirits out of there.
That's really smart. I like that.
I've never taken a bit of a bit of a dive.

Speaker 1 Don't do that, dude.

Speaker 1 I've never taken a laxative because when you take your laxative on Sunday night, presumably it's out of your system by Monday, and that's naturally when the shits would start to hit me, would be Monday morning.

Speaker 1 Right. After like a long day of drinking beers and eating chicken wings and watching like football.
So I think this guy's just an innovator.

Speaker 7 Also, our side bet that we had with the Wizard Spurs. Yeah.
That's kind of like my get-right day. I've been doing awesome.

Speaker 1 Oh, because you chaps ate a half pound of cheese because the wizard's bread. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'm like a stopped-up damn.

Speaker 1 Chaps.

Speaker 1 Thank you, as always. Zero Blog Blog30.

Speaker 1 You look beautiful. You're a good friend.
We still love you. Thank you.
And I'm sorry that my Nats are going to kick the Astros assignment

Speaker 1 for you when the Astros win tonight. Not going to have Baput.

Speaker 1 You forgot about Bapit. Yeah.
Any last words?

Speaker 7 Yeah, we have on ZBT. Can I tell you what we have?

Speaker 1 Okay, just to end it. Yeah, go ahead and say it.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 7 Matt a speechwriter is going to be on the show today.

Speaker 7 And it was really interesting. It's making waves, all kinds of different stuff.
So it's going to be a good

Speaker 7 interview for dinner there so make sure you download

Speaker 7 zero block thirty we also have a youtube account zero block30 on youtube

Speaker 1 you search zero block30 podcast on youtube

Speaker 1 you smash that subscribe button and you'll see all different types of content when me cake there's a civilian we're all gonna be there

Speaker 1 everybody we have old interviews about robin kildenlad we have new ones with like speaker of the house john banner it's incredible everybody who loves sports also loves talking politics and military

Speaker 1 Lemon pepper.

Speaker 1 And I got the

Speaker 1 teriyaki barbecue, I think.

Speaker 7 All right. I'll be back after the next time I have a terrible ailment.

Speaker 7 Lights were better to be saved than somebody stay after me.

Speaker 7 Life's no better to be saved than something.