
Dog The Bounty Hunter + World Series Game 6 Recap
The Nats are a team of destiny + we preview game 7 ( 2:31 - 10:51) . NFL trade deadline where nothing happened (10:51 - 16:40). Hot seat cool throne (16:40 - 30:59). Dog The Bounty Hunter joins the show to talk about, life after Beth, losing his virginity at 12 & how he would beat up everyone in the studio. Segments include "Respect The Biz" for Hank, Jake Marsh Sports biz minute + Guys on Chicks with clean shaven Uncle Chaps.
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Twin Peaks is the best in the game. Here, historic rivalries tip off with shareable bites and every shot you take is a game winner.
I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey. Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar.
On today's part of my take, we have Dog the Bounty Hunter.
We also have Game 6 of the World Series, a controversial Game 6, but the right team won.
We have NFL trade deadline that really wasn't that good. Hot seat, cool thrown, and our good friend Uncle Chaps on the show for guys on chicks and he shaved and it was a big to do but before we get to all of that ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariot ariot work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and
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Boy!
Now we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll't blame all on the sun. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. Presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code BARSTool. You get $5 for free.
$5 to ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, October 30th.
And the greatest two words in sports under protest. Game seven.
Can't protest. We got both.
Well, no, you can't. So it's under protest.
Was is not. Pisan said it was under protest.
Can protest it. It's still under my personal protest.
Also, they won. Yeah, so it's a best of eight now.
So you don't have to protest. So we don't know.
Ball don't lie. Hey, did you hear this, PFT? Yeah.
Ball don't lie. I was part of ball don't lie Twitter, but you had to say it.
You had to get it out. Trey Turner got robbed on that infield single.
But you can't be mad. I'm not mad anymore.
I'm just disappointed in the umpires. Really, the hero of the night, because there was a moment where it was going to be the umpires.
It was going to be like a Saints-Rams situation. If the Nats are going to lose that.
Oh, it's going to go full New Orleans on them. Oh, it's going to be an absolute shit show.
The fact that they fucked that up. And then I don't even know who they were talking to.
I was going to put a billboard outside Joe Torre's house. It was going to get ugly.
It was going to get real ugly. But it ends up not mattering because the Nationals, Rendon, hits that home run.
And the hero of the night is Dave Martinez. Trying to fight an umpire with a bad ticker.
The guy who he had a heart surgery or something, treatment, something happened this summer to the point where he's not allowed to drink coffee anymore because it's bad for his heart. And he went full fucking aggro rageaholic on the umps.
And I loved every second of it. That's a manager who you want to play for.
It was probably good for him to get that out of his system, to have a little release. It was like a nice cardio workout for him getting upset.
Also good that he got thrown out because at that point he has to go cool down somewhere. Well have to send a message to your team guys back hey you gotta send a message let them know that you are behind him 100 and he did all that arguing with two guys trying to hold him back he beat the double team hail shout out him i don't know how he held him back did him with a little spin move yep got up in his face he looked like one of the bosa brothers out there a lost bosaosa.
It was a fun game to watch. There was a lot that went down despite the final score being kind of a blowout.
It was an exhilarating game to watch. I'm glad that I only have one more of them to watch this postseason because it's reaching the point where it's like playoff hockey where I'm getting too amped up, too nervous.
The plays are affecting me too much, so I'm glad we got game seven. We got Joe Buck on the call tomorrow, ready to hit him with a, and the Houston Astros can suck on these gnats as he promised.
You think so? He promised that he would say, so I'm counting on him. Fun stat, the last manager to be kicked out of a World Series game, Bobby Cox, 1996.
The last manager before that to be kicked out of a World Series game, Bobby Cox, 1992. Okay.
That's a fun stat. I'm shocked that Bobby Cox, he could never beat a spin move.
No. He's a space eater.
He's a guy that's like a nose tackle that'll stay behind two guys. He's a guy who would say some really fucked up shit.
He wouldn't do it in the way that Dave Martinez did, where I actually think actually think he was gonna kill someone he's gonna rip someone's throat out bobby cox would just cut you to your core oh yeah if you get into an argument with bobby cox you're going to see a therapist for the next seven years of your life just to get that out of your system um one thing about the astros i saw again uh justin kershaw yeah it's trending on twitter again tonight uh also clayton verland, they were both trending at the same time. Again, still doesn't have a World Series win.
Might not ever get a World Series win. Kate Upton chimed in.
She said that Trey Turner was clearly interfering with the play. Yeah, she got ratioed pretty hard on that one.
She did. So we also have...
She was right, though. What?
She was called out.
Yeah, it's true.
She was technically right.
She was not right in the spirit of the game.
No, Hank's right.
She was right that the umpire said that.
No, the call was held up.
Her assessment was correct.
Okay, and Hank, for one who doesn't believe in turnover luck,
the real story of the night was BABIP.
As I called, as I predicted, the Nats' BABIP turned around. It's the one stat that I picked up on this offseason, so now I'm an expert on it.
We got luckier on our balls that were hit in play tonight. The Astros got less lucky than they have been.
That is what really turned the game around. What does BABIP stand for? This is like you're like a new thing of the day.
He's like a four-year-old who found a new word. He's been saying it every single session.
I'm wearing a shirt. It's an acronym, right? Watch this on Barstool Gold if you want to look at my shirt that I'm wearing.
It says BABIP on it. It stands for batting average on balls in play.
So it's like you can hit a front. It's literally the turn of the O.
It's like we emit the O. So it's like you can hit a hard line drive directly at the shortstop and he catches it.
Doesn't mean it was a bad hit, right? How much did you care about Babbitt like a week ago? Zero. Okay.
Absolutely could not have cared less about Babbitt. But now that I know that is the key to the Nationals winning this World Series, I'm all in on it.
I'm all in on the Nats Babbitt. I'm very excited for Game 7.
But again, as I mentioned, I'm looking forward to it being over. And I think that we were right.
Big Cat, I think, was the first to report this. So I'll give credit to him that the Nats are a team of destiny.
Yes, they are. And they are not going to lose game seven.
If they do, I will eat this podcast. I'll eat my podcast.
And the and shout out to the Nats having the foresight to shut Steven Strasburg down in September of 2012. Absolutely.
That was you got the performance out of him in the World Series that you were looking for when you had him stop pitching in September even though you were in the playoff. Yeah God bless the broken road that led us to this game seven.
Yeah I mean that's that's so game seven nothing better. We also had a bat controversy tonight.
So Bregman hit a dinger and I'm I'm scared ofregman. Whenever he gets up to bat, I'm a little bit terrified.
He hit a dinger, and then he carried his bat all the way to first base and then dropped it after he got there. You had the Brian McCanns of the world flipping out.
People were very mad, calling it a clown move, saying it was disrespectful to the game. That was awesome when they had the— Put one in his ear hole.
Yeah, literally. And then Soto did the same thing.
It was a who can carry the bat longer off.
I feel like if you hit a walk-off home run in the World Series,
which isn't going to happen this year, but in the future if it happens,
you should be allowed to carry it all the way around the bases.
Yes.
Big night for the who says baseball isn't fun crowd.
You guys got your night.
That was it.
That was the big night.
You had all the fireworks.
You had the carrying the bat off. The umpires, Dave Martinez, home run.
I think they juiced the balls again. Those balls were flying.
I agree. All of them were moonshots.
Yeah, they were juicing. That's why Verlander was so mad.
He got really upset at the baseball tonight because he's used to the spin rate balls that they have in Houston, as Trevor Bauer pointed out to us. He's used to pitching with a juiced ball that favors the pitcher.
Correct. Now it's swung the other way.
That's why Verlander can't win a game in the World Series, which is kind of a bullshit narrative because he's pitched well in some World Series games, but that's not going to get in between me and the narrative. We're a hot take show.
We are a hot take show. 0-6 is 0-6.
0-6. Absolutely right.
I'm a results-based guy. I'm a hot take.
0-6. I'd actually keep him out of the Hall of Fame.
Me too. Agreed.
Not clutch. Sorry.
And Max Scherzer is ready to go tomorrow because he got the cortisone shot. Which should be legal.
Again, God bless the broken road that got us to that point. PEDs.
Cortisone shot. That's what you give if you're pregnant, if you're giving birth.
I've got a cortisone shot in my back. Oh, sick.
Yeah. No, it's awesome.
It basically makes your entire insides, wherever they give you the shot, feel super warm. You can only get like two or three a year.
Takes away all the sensation. Completely numbs you up for like two weeks.
It's like Roman swipes for your spine. It's awesome.
Awesome. Okay.
So Max had the look in his eyes, both of them, the brown one and the blue one tonight. He looked like he was ready to get in the game.
He was he was pacing max scherzer if you think he's sleeping tonight my friend you don't know max scherzer he's probably not leaving the ballpark no he's just gonna pace that would be bad if he didn't sleep if he like slept on the mound and just hurt his neck again he might he's gonna pace yeah what's the sleep number on a baseball bound what is the bit what's the uh pillow situation for max rosin bag belt in his bed tonight because like that's you can't fuck that up. He's on the road.
He's on the road. Yeah, he's in a strange bed.
He's on the road. That's concerning.
That's why he's not going home, though. He's just going to pace the 60 feet from home plate to the pitcher's mound back and forth.
If you want to watch us, we are on BarstoolGold.com slash PMT. BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.
So what's the plan tomorrow night? Are you going to, um, I guess you got to do, would you do soggy sorrows on Thursday? If they lost, I would, you think I should do soggy sorrows for this? Well, yeah, the plan was actually, we won't say what the plan is. We won't say what the plan is.
I'm not going to do it on Thursday. If you lose, I'm not going to make a plan cause we're not going to lose.
But, yes, that is the plan. That is the plan.
All right, great.
I was going to say I'll come in, but I don't really want to.
You're not going to come watch tomorrow night?
Game seven?
I mean, I'm going to watch.
Support your friend?
I know.
I feel like we've been here so late every single night.
I'm starting to lose my brain a little.
Maybe I'll show up late.
That's fine.
Show up in the seventh inning.
That's fine.
No, once you go home, you're home.
No.
You're not coming back.
No, I'll be back, dude.
Just keep a seat for me. Okay, gotcha.
Yeah, you'll be there. I'll be here.
I just okay yeah i'll be here i'll be here yeah just make sure don't let anyone sit in my seat okay i'll be here um okay let's do some nfl trade deadline that wasn't uh really the biggest news of the day wasn't a trade it was andy dalton getting benched on his birthday that sucks sucks it sucks and i was upset for a hot second when I thought that we were going to lose our beautiful red-headed Bengals quarterbacks. Because we've been spoiled for the last, what, eight years? Yep.
Since Andy Dalton's been playing to have a quarterback whose hair matched so well with his jersey. And then I saw who his backup was, and he's got red hair too.
Yes. It doesn't pop the same way as Andy's.
But in standard definition, it's just like it's a watered-down Andy Dalton, which is pretty much just air. Hank, I have a little trivia for you.
Column A, column B. Through age 32 season, fourth quarter comebacks, 18-20.
Game-winning drive, 23 versus 24. Passing yards,
30,844 versus
30,352. So, Colum A got
that one.
And, yeah,
who do you have? Who do you take?
Colum A or Colum B?
Can I add one more? Brady's Colum A.
Can I add one more? No, I didn't know.
I'm going to add one more there.
Wins versus the Patriots.
Oh, true. Did Andy Gallen never beat the Patriots? I don't think so.
Yeah, so you don't know. No.
I'm going to add one more there. Yeah.
Wins versus the Patriots. Oh, true.
Did Andy Gall never beat the Patriots?
I don't think so.
Yeah, so you don't know.
So you don't know.
That one doesn't give anything away.
Zero and zero.
Well, column B, but I know column A is Brady.
It's so stupid that people do that shit.
I love it.
I love it.
The mystery player.
Yeah, here, check it out.
Is this the first time that a passer that's in the top five in terms of total passing yards in a season has been benched this late into the season? Matt Ryan's probably going to too. Joe Flacco got benched.
But he got assassinated. He got attempted.
Neck injury. There was attempted murder because he stuck his neck out and demonstrated that he had a spine.
John Elway was like, that's a neck injury for Flacco. All of our NFC North heroes are dying.
The real losers in this are the Buffalo Bills that don't have Andy Dalton to push them into the playoffs again. That's true.
That was his defining moments, that and when he lost his luggage on the highway. Yep.
So Andy Dalton will miss it. Danny Woodhead guest, too.
Yeah. Whoa, whoa.
Hey. Yikes.
Hank's going through puberty. Damn, man.
My little boy's growing up. He's getting heartburn.
These are, I'm just thinking about this because, uh, the, the fact that Matt Stafford just passed Joe Montana in total yards, like NFL passing stats are so funny. Tom Brady and Andy Dalton have played in the same era, but because it was even like, you know, 10 years ago, you can manipulate the stats through age 32.
It's ridiculous.
NFL passing stats are so fucking funny to look at.
Whoever comes after this will beat everyone before it and forever and forever and forever.
The other big news was Trent Williams did not get traded.
And then he immediately reported to the Redskins.
And what Bruce Allen ended up doing in this situation
was he made up some trade offers for Trent Williams back in September.
He said that the Patriots offered him a first-round pick.
A mystery team, that's how you know it's real, a mystery team.
They're really hot.
They live in Canada.
They offered him also a first-round pick in mid-September.
Turns out neither one of those offers was true, and he just waited until the last minute hoping that somebody would call to offer a first-round pick. Didn't happen, so now he's reporting to camp, but he still doesn't want to play.
He's going to be on the team for another year, and he's going to be worth less in the offseason because he'll have one fewer year towards free agency. Ooh, okay.
So graceful cap management and roster management by the R-Words. a keep to leave getting traded to the dolphins that was so mean yeah but it continues our pick ponzi scheme that uh the rams are doing because i don't know they like got back a fifth but they'd already traded a fifth someone tweeted that they don't even know if they had a fifth to like doing the trade.
And if you throw in conditional to any one of those picks,
it's like, okay, that doesn't exist necessarily.
Nope.
And yeah, it was the Brock Osweiler effect.
So they are essentially paying the Rams.
They traded him for negative $8 million.
Yes.
That's what I'm getting at.
Yes, yes.
So, I mean, Aqib Tlaib like, oh, do they play?
No.
The first thing I did when I saw that was look up Michael Crabtree and see if he was on a team that was going to play against the Dolphins later on this year. He's not.
He's a free agent. So I guess he could be signed.
I could see the Patriots picking him up. The Jets should sign him.
Yeah. Because I think they have two games coming up.
Yeah, they should. Fuck, that would be so awesome.
We need some more chain snatching to happen. Yes, we do.
All right. Any other NFL notes? I think that's about it.
If I'm to leave, I just take the flight to Miami and then I quit after I get there. It's like free flight to South Beach.
Yes. Oh, I guess the only other NFL thing was Eddie Pinheiro came out and said that he actually was kicking from the wrong hash mark.
And Matt Nagy never asked him. Then he backtracked it because he realized how much he fucked up.
Oh, so that's fine then. Yeah, yeah.
No, it's totally fine. Everything's fine.
Put the toothpaste back in the tube. And Matt Nagy's come out and doubled down, tripled down.
Yeah, he said he would do it 100 times out of 100. Everything's fine, guys.
That's what you have to do. Just in life, if you're wrong about something, just say that you're not wrong and double down on the thing you were clearly wrong about.
Yeah, just and eventually you'll find 10 of people will just respect you for being hard-headed enough yeah right they'll be like you know what at least he's stuck to his ways yeah at least he's an asshole yeah he's stuck to his guns you know he's unrelenting yep that's good that's matt nagy okay uh hot seat cool throne before we get to dog the bounty hunter hank why don't you start uh my hot seat is netflix they are considering adding a variable playback speed so similar to podcasts where you can go like one and a half and two times speed and it's got like filmmakers very upset oh cinema people people are freaking out judd aptow said like he was on a tweet storm said don't make me have to call every director and show creator on earth to fight you on this save me the time i will win but it'll take me a ton of time don't fuck with our timing and there was a lot of other people that were like following suit and going off yeah that well i mean if i'm jed jed apatow i'm pissed off too because imagine seth rogan's voice at 2x speed no he's got that buddha ben cough yeah yeah and people listen listen to this podcast on one and a half times speed.
Yes.
Two times speed.
I think that you're insane if you do that.
No, I've actually been doing that.
I've tried doing one and a half times speed on Hardcore History
because it's like six hours long per podcast.
But if you do it on like a comedy podcast,
so definitely not ours.
Right.
But if you did it on a funny podcast,
I think it would throw things off. We should start doing really quickly in in every single episode to fuck with people yeah my other hot tea is peter lugers and me uh they received a zero star review which is equivalent to zero balls oh man i love peter lugers that's my favorite restaurant in brooklyn oh man i really like it when you go to the waiters and sometimes assholes see and they bring your steak and then they keep flipping through their pocket and say say, okay, this is expensive.
This is expensive. Well, you want some spinach? Probably not.
You're pussy if you eat spinach. The best part about computer losers is you can recook your steak on the hot plate because they keep it really hot.
And they slice it up for you on your plate and then when they hand it to you, you got to slice into it because it's already sliced up. It was a place that I had a connection so I felt cool when I went there but now they have a zero star review so I have no clout and it's kind of upsetting so it's like, fuck what I do now.
Oh, man, that sucks.
It's so bad.
I enjoyed the steak.
For people that don't interrupt me, Big Cat,
I ate the steak and it was tasty.
Now everyone who listens to it on regular speed is like,
this fucking sucked. You guys are assholes.
Yep. And I agree.
I agree. Peter Lugers, yeah, that's bad.
I actually like that place. It's a name that just exudes class.
Yeah, you feel like, hey, you want to go to Lugers? Peter Lugers. Maybe it's a gun name? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. By the way, going back to Seth Rogen real quick, everyone has that one friend who smoked too much weed, and his laugh is the same as his cough.
And they're interchangeable. And it's actually awesome to listen to.
It's kind of gross sometimes because they'll laugh, and then they'll just start spitting up phlegm. But you also kind of love it because when they start laughing, they can't stop laughing until they cough, sounds like their laugh so it's an extra laugh yeah it's just one function rolled into one yeah uh my cool throne is team targaryen and just game of thrones fans in general so it came out today a that the guys that like fucked up the creator or like the show producers of that fucked up the last season got like fired off of star wars they they They basically said that season 8 was so bad because they were worried about Star Wars.
That's why they didn't do more seasons and shit, which got fans mad. They got fired off Star Wars for whatever reason.
So Game of Thrones fans were happy about that. And it was announced today that a Team Targaryen show from the first 300 years before Game of Thrones is coming out.
I don't think I've ever forgotten a cast of characters' names faster than Game of Thrones. Team Targ.
I forget who the Targs are. I just remember your takes stunk.
Well, clearly not because I was Team Targ and that was proven to be the correct take because they were developing an entire show around the names. Remember when they had the dragon burn the Iron Throne and throne and they're like hey let's hit you over the face with this it's not even close to subtle yeah that was sick and then they came out after that and said oh that didn't really mean anything so they they were yeah they were like too there was too much emphasis on an analogy that was just like way overwrought and then they it turns out they just stumbled their way into that analogy so yeah that's tough also it's a prequel that they're putting out
that's a good spin zone to get people's minds off you finish the show really shittily well guess what
we're gonna go back you like the first season tell you what we're gonna give you an extra first
season the thing is though because george r martin had written the books of the finale and so it was
up to the showrunners to finish it and they fucked it up but there is actual like a book that they're basing the show off of so it's like back to the good shit okay you know what they should do so they came under fire for some of the battle scenes in the last season they should get back to what made the show popular as baseball has shown us and incorporate more boobs so seasons one and two boobs everywhere andire fuck-ups. Yeah, and umpire fuck-ups.
Yeah, the first season is being played under review. They should have, instead of that giant fight, what was that called? The battle of...
The bastards. The bastards.
They should have just the orgy of the bastards. They should have one guy just walking around the entire series holding a bat, and we never know why.
And he just touches a bunch of bases. I like that.
That's it. Team Tarwik's back.
Okay. Chakarious.
All right. Chakarious.
My hot seat is global warming. Chakarious.
Wait. Because the LSU Tigers signed a wide receiver named DeColdest Crawford.
Yes. So DeColdest is making his way to Baton Rouge.
Probably the coolest name, if not in the history of college football,
definitely in the history of Louisiana State, I would say.
Do you know his middle name?
It's not the one that was reported.
It's Juan.
Juan.
DeColdest Juan.
That's fucking awesome.
Hold that tiger.
Hold that tiger.
I'm really excited to see it.
And with a new law that got put into place,
which I think everybody's still kind of up in the air about, that athletes are allowed now to profit off their name and likeness decoldest is going to make so much money profiting off decoldest does that mean we get the ea sports back i think we do right that's we get the that's the conclusion everyone jumped to and i'm gonna say yes until proven otherwise okay all right yeah i'm gonna agree you. Yeah.
My only regret in this show is that we prematurely named Bubba Bubba instead of DeColdis. DeColdis Juan.
That would be sweet if your name was DeColdis Juan. Yeah.
My cool throne is Destiny. Not only are the Nats a team of Destiny, but Chip Kelly was talking about Destiny this weekend after a game, and he laid into a reporter.
He said, I wish people wouldn't bring up the term destiny because saying you control your own destiny doesn't make any sense. Right.
Because destiny implies that the series of events is already preordained. so he smashed a reporter's best friend
which is to use the term
control your own destiny or team of destiny
by just saying like why try to do anything
if so he smashed a reporter's best friend which is to use the term control your own destiny or team of destiny by just saying like why try to do anything if life is already set out ahead of you okay I like that so he put destiny on the cool throne always deep Chip Kelly yes well he's lived his last six years like he doesn't care and everything's preordained for him anyways and also tacos are on the cool throne Taco Bell Taco Bell. Steal a base, steal a taco.
Yep. I believe today, Wednesday, is Steal a Taco Day.
Yes. Where you get your tacos for free.
You get to know you actually go and steal one. You go and you take one from, you jump behind the counter.
Whoever causes a riot at Taco Bell gets as many tacos as they want. That's what it is.
Incorrect. That's the giveaway.
Nope. Only at Taco Bell, though.
Rob a Taco Bell day. Single a file line.
Use your manners. Accept your free taco.
Rob a Taco Bell, but make sure it's in New England. Uh-huh.
Yep. Absolutely.
Rhode Island or Massachusetts? Tell them PMT sent you. Tell them Hank sent you.
Yeah, tell them Hank sent you. They'll give you all the tacos for free.
Don't do that. Okay.
All right. My hot seat is...
Well, this news just came out, and out and it's alleged all of it's alleged so the dirty sports podcast uh they they had a video where they basically accused a twitter account named jamis one of one to be jason light the gm of the bucks now i don't know if it's true but a couple things one is even if it's not true this is the funniest twitter account i've ever seen because his name is the jamis one of one and he wrote an e-book called jamis winston derangement syndrome how the media causes us to overlook the start of a hall of fame nfl career okay so even if it's not jason light it's the funniest account i've ever seen yes and then if it is j Light, it is truly the greatest account I've ever seen.
So I don't know.
This story will be continuing.
I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of it
like in the next day or two.
But if it is,
just know that we,
at bare minimum,
we found a person who wrote an e-book
about Jameis Winston being a future Hall of Famer
and how the media has a derangement syndrome
about his career.
Does he address the Jameis Winston issues where he might need glasses? Might. That should.
Oh, but that made me think, by the way, why are all the umps like 40 and 50 years old? Oh, they're very old. Yeah.
They all can't see. Yeah.
That's a good point. Should we get umps that are like 25? Oh, yeah.
Or robots. Yeah, robots too.
Get the Boston Dynamics dogs out there. Don't put any banana peels on the field.
Owls. Literal owls.
Yeah. They've got great vision for night games.
Yeah, they could sit right where the Astros steal all their signs from. Yeah, which is still happening.
Oh, yeah. I've noticed the pitch tipping.
That's what we're calling it now. We're calling it pitch tipping.
We know what it means. Strasburg said he realized he was tipping his pitches tonight.
Oh. First inning and changed it.
Well, B. Well, Bregman is actually kind of a genius because if you just say that you have everyone's pitches,
they'll all start doing things they don't want to do.
Like, you'll get in their head by being like, oh, yeah.
Like, all you have to do is, oh, yeah, I know exactly what's coming.
And then they're going to start, like, changing everything they do every single time they come out. it's genius jamis one of one has denied he's denying he's denying he's saying you have to love twitter by the way if need be i'll be happy to do a call-in interview at the same time mr light is at the interview in person to dispel such nonsense so interesting very interesting so what light is going to do does he have any brothers no he's going to record a video press conference and then call in he's going to have like you know the arnold schwarzenegger soundboard yeah he's going to have a jason light soundboard on his phone that he's going to be pressing it might not be him it i'll give the benefit of the doubt and say it's not him because i don't want to just accuse someone just like point blank.
That's kind of fucked up to do without like definitive proof. Yep.
I'm just more happy that we know James one of one exists because that is the funniest account I've ever seen. It is.
Wait, hold on. Oh, this is he has quotes on his page of people who read his book.
James one of one of one has written a game changing book that the mainstream media may hate, but NFL fans will love.
I hope this book is a best
seller. Joe Howley,
former Tampa Bay Bucs
center. Jameis101 takes a hard
look at a comparative and even era
adjusted stats that prove Jameis compares
favorably to Super Bowl era
Hall of Fame quarterbacks. When looked at objectively,
it's really quite obvious Winston's on a Hall of Fame pace. This is awesome.
Wow. I can't believe anyone is...
You can write a book about anything. Dude, like I said, it probably isn't Jason Light.
We're going to give him... We're going to say he's innocent, right? Yes.
Whoever... Yes.
I want to know who did actually create this. To me, that's almost more interesting.
Yes, way more interesting. It would make more sense to me if it was Jason Light running this than somebody else.
The fact that it's not is genuinely concerning. Right.
Like this person is out here defending Jameis Winston. If he has no relation to Jameis Winston and he wrote an e-book.
It's a crazy person we're dealing with. Crazy.
An insane individual. I want to get him on the show.
But only Colin. Yes.
Yeah. Only Colin during a game.
During a game. Yeah.
Oh, that was a big thing. He stops during the game.
All right. My cool throne is the Nets and Nets teammates because there was a big story today about Kyrie being moody.
So apparently, remember when the Cavs were in there? I think it was the last year they were all together so they didn't win the title but kairi just stopped talking to everyone for like three days straight during the playoffs he went buddhist apparently he did this when the nets were in china as well so his moods are a concern to the nets well guess what you're on my cool throne because everyone freaked out was like kairi this kairi that i read the story and uh there's here's a quote there's hope that durant will be able to coax his friend into a better frame of mind uh and said i look at durant said i look at kairi as somebody who is an artist you have to leave him alone you know what he'll bring to the table every night because he cares so much about the game. So Kevin Durant is on the case to keep Kyrie Irving from getting moody.
They're fine. I kind of like that dynamic, though.
It's a little Jane Silent Bobbish. Right.
So you've got Kyrie that never says anything, and then you've got Kevin Durant that just says everything. Right.
Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah, this is always fine.
It seems like it's going to be a good buddy cop type thing. What if Kevin Durant was the guy behind James 101 that would be that would be a productive use of his time would be the greatest but he's just writing about James as if James was Kevin Durant right he's just completely substituted his he did a find and replace he wrote an e-book about himself and then went back and changed all the Kevin Durant's to James Winston um so and then Kevin Durant dunked on Donovan McNabb.
McNabb, or Durant was actually using his real account. Donovan McNabb said, with everything starting to come out with Kyrie Irving and the Brooklyn Nets, when will Kevin Durant realize, maybe I should have stayed in Golden State? Boy, I've seen this happen before.
And Kevin Durant just replied, relax, McNabb. And no one gets dunked on more than Donovan McNabb.
That's a great comeback. That's great comeback he's someone who doesn't know how to use twitter no he does i don't think mcnab reads his replies i think he just i think he has a burner phone that he tweets every tweet out from and then he just throws it into the trash can yeah he he did reply he just replied with the mike tyson uh like laughing really hard at a roast gif okay yeah not really good he's having fun with it yeah not really he's in on the joke mcnab's in on it good job look yeah oh relax mcnab that's so funny that's not a reply that makes any sense no that reply is actually the underthrown pass of reply yes yes um all right so let's get to our interview with dog the bounty hunter we also are brought to you by our friends when your home system or appliance breaks down american home shield will help fix or replace the covered item no matter its age visit ahs.com slash listen for 20 off any plan cahs.com slash contracts for coverage details limitations and exclusions here he is dog the bounty hunter okay we welcome on a very very special guest someone who i have wanted to interview for a very long time because I'm a huge fan of his.
I've actually said, yeah, uh-oh. I've actually said Stone Cold Steve Austin, Michael Jordan, and Dog the Bounty Hunter.
So you are two-thirds of that because you've had Stone Cold on. We'll never get Michael Jordan on.
No, he's been on. Yeah, it's true.
A call. But it is Dog the Bounty Hunter, Dwayne Chapman.
He has a show on WGN. I watch it on Wednesday nights.
Thank you. It's Dog's Most Wanted.
Correct. It's a great show, and I'm a big-time, long-time fan, so thank you for joining us.
Thank you for having me. Yeah.
Thank you. So I don't know even where we want to start.
I mean, I guess we could start with the current show right now. It is Very It's hard to watch because obviously there's a lot of
Beth I mean, I guess we could start with the current show right now. It is very – it's hard to watch because, obviously, there's a lot of Beth in it.
Have you been watching it back at all?
A little of it, but I don't sit down like I used to because of Beth.
I start crying and, you know, thoughts go there.
And I was there, so, you know, next season, yeah, I'll watch it and help cut it. This season, I kind of backed off.
Yeah. Did you used to watch the show in previous seasons, you know, whether it was this one or in years past? Well, we helped cut them also, you know, like, where's this part at? Where's that part at? We cut them.
And this time, I just let the guy go, and he did a pretty good job because we're getting some good ratings so yeah what's the uh what's the best part about being a bounty hunter because i i mean i i would we'll get to it later but i would like to help you in any way you can i can but uh what what's like the part that you're like man i love getting up and doing this when you find the guy that's it that's it when you look a long time or he's done something really bad and then you find him and you're like or you you spot him across the street and your heart starts beating and you're like, oh my God, that's him. Because you've been staring at a mugshot for two, three days, you know, looking, talking to everybody that knows him.
You know all his habits, kind of cigarette he smokes, what he eats at night, what kind of hours he has, what kind of drug is he on. And then when you spot him, it's like, oh, my God, it's him.
Right. And you put yourself kind of in his shoes and that person's shoes to figure out where they're going to be, how you're going to find them.
And the one thing that I always liked about your show is after you get the guy. I don't know, do you even call him the bad guy after you catch the bad guy? Well, yeah, He's a bad guy until he gets to jail
and pays for whatever bad thing he does.
Until he meets you.
And then what would happen would be you'd connect with him.
You'd try to connect with a person that you'd apprehended.
Right.
Try to make a difference in their life.
Do you still keep in touch with anybody
that you've apprehended on a bounty?
Oh, yeah.
I have a lot of guys that call me
and say how they're doing
or I see them on the street.
This show here, Dogs Most Wanted, is exactly that.
I look at like 50 warrants and then I pick out the most heinous crimes, usually against persons or kids or women.
And then we go after them.
We're not going after the normal drug dealer anymore because some states because some states are making california possession of heroines a misdemeanor now right is there one person in particular that you've kept in touch with over the years that has like totally turned their life around after meeting there's a lot that call me and you know a lot of guys check in and i've had them i make them check in every day and i have guys check in for a year and then they're like you know i got probation today dog is it okay if i check in still i go sure so the web a couple guys that just check in to check it yeah friends for life so when you talk to the people before they go into jail and you say like hey like you give them the speech and you say go with christ and they're like i'm going to do you can you tell when they're like lying like the people who don't actually go with christ well it's not particularly go with christ okay it's just that i believe in god and i believe in i was taught about jesus so that's what i'm supposed to do right but there's other religions that you know it's not just jesus if you want to get to heaven yeah god not a dummy. We all don't like the same kind of food or the same kind of girls.
But I try to tell them there's a higher power that you can go to. And I kind of hope, as they're in that position, they're all serious about changing.
I've had a couple guys flip me off, you know, and book them that's it only couple but in that position they just got taken down they're really serious about changing their life and then of course in jail they're really serious right and in the county jails you usually go to the bible or they become a christian right then the real test is when they get out of jail jail what do they do for the first two weeks and then for the first two months about 50 percent make it and about 50 percent don't yeah yeah i mean it's a i always wonder like the follow-ups it's almost like so i i love all reality television but like a bar rescue we're friends with john taffer like he does the follow-up on the bars we should do a dog follow-up and like who went with christ who when you when you smash the crack pipe they were like boom that's it right my life has changed forever and who has fallen back onto bad times well i well just name a name a friend of mine's bosco and he called me the other day he's like rico no bosco oh he's like double our size because us three together He's that size. Okay.
And he's like, dog, I, Bosco. Oh.
He's like double our size.
Us three together, he's that size.
Okay.
And he's like, dog, I'm going to kick your ass.
I go, Bosco, what for?
And he's like, oh, you ruined my life for crime, brother.
And I said, what do you mean?
He said, I had a Twinkie last night.
It's not a real Twinkie, right?
He had a snack.
He said, I had sex with my old lady and I went to sleep.
And I said, good.
He said, you know that stuff you made me smoke?
God, dog.
I don to sleep. And I said, good.
And he said, you know, that stuff you made me smoke. God, dog.
And I said, well, is it better? Oh yeah, but I'm going to kick your ass for ruining my life of crime. And then before he hung up, right? I said, all right, Bosco.
He goes, yeah. You know, again, I, I roll, I need the rolling papers.
I said, you know where to buy them. Stop it.
And he said, dog. I said, yeah.
I said, I love you, brother. And I said, I love you, too.
So those kind of thoughts, those kind of things help you out. Yeah, absolutely.
Would you say that you're the goat bounty hunter, the greatest of all time? Of all time. Yes.
Completely. Easy.
8,000 captures. Yes.
And humble. And humble.
8,000 captures over 8,000. 41 years this February.
So that's a long time.
Those are stats.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know what your percentage is?
Like what your average is?
It's 100%.
We got one right now.
We're chasing a million-dollar bond.
Tuesday, best birthday, right?
We're going to start.
And it's because my health is a little dingy right now.
So I'm taking medicine to thin the blood so you're kind of weak how are you feeling uh caca okay yeah yeah yeah you know but uh i'm gonna make it thank you i lost a belly though i tried to sit up my whole life and wouldn't leave and then i used the tony robbins diet the 10 fingers take your 10 fingers and push your fat ass away from the table oh that's good so uh fuck yes i was like wait i thought you might like put them in your throat and throw them off yeah right right right so you you mentioned your stats you also the the start would you say like the the when dog became dog was the andrew luster Luster case? No. We already had our A&E show when we had that.
Okay. I was in prison, and I was the warden's barber, and the barber's shop was outside the prison gates.
And one day they were putting a friend of mine in the hole because his mother just died. So they put you down quick because your mama dies.
You're going to, they, nobody can control you. So as they put him in the shitter, can I cuss? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay, the shitter.
That motherfucker. He hit a guard in the mouth.
I saw the guard come out, you know, backwards and off he started running. And so I was in the barbershop and I could hear the cops on the tower saying freeze bigfoot that was his name right we're gonna kill you so i took out after him because i knew he wasn't uh he was kind of light in the mind you know but his mama just died so uh i got him by the pant and tackled him down and lieutenant hillegis ran up behind me with he was right behind me running and they were saying dog stop what are you doing right because they're going to shoot me too and he threw the handcuffs on the dirt right next to him and said hook him up bounty hunter yeah and i said lieutenant i don't know how to do that right so then uh when i went back to this prison the warden called me because you know warden's barber one touched me, beat me up because I cut the guard's hair.
The warden's hair made him look good for visiting days, right? The girls would come in, they looking cool for the guy's wives, right? So the warden said, we got to transfer you out of this farm because they're going to kill you. For what, I said? Because you ran down an inmate.
Imate i said and i saved his life so that night uh warden said well i'll put you i'll leave you stay for a couple days and if you're not dead well we're going to transfer you so that night the muslims came to me and said you know why did you catch him why'd you do that i said okay shoot bigfoot right in the head i'm not going to let that happen and uh my ronnie coleman was black was my shoe shine guy that was in the barber shop with me and i told him let's go get him he said i ain't going to get him they're gonna kill him i go no they're not and so the next day when i woke up there were candy bars uh stamps cigarettes one pack cigarettes matches all in front of my cell. And so I got them real quick, you know, put them in my little cupboard.
And the warden called me down. He said, they don't give you a love offering.
Your bread is buttered. You're going to stay here.
And so that, when I started checking out, when I was a kid, I loved the bounty hunter shows, you know, the Lone Ranger and Wanted Dead or Alive and all that.
Because all those guys were bad once and then they became good, right? Right. And they all got the most beautiful girls tied up on the tracks and all that, right? Right.
So I thought, wow, this is something I could do, actually do. And then I started studying what to happen.
And so when I got out February the 6th, 1979, about the 10th, I went into the post office and got the 10 most wanted by the FBI. And about a month, I took one of those into the feds.
Hell, yes. 10 grand.
Just on your own? Yeah, just tricking him. And I knew the lingo to get him.
Yeah. Was there any barriers to becoming a bounty hunter since you were just getting out of prison no back then today you just can't do it like that you have to do all these certifications and police officers training and this and that fbi stuff but back then as 1979 it was wide open there's only two bounty hunters one was uh papa thorn and George Lucero uh george lucero and they were uh you know pretty good but not as good as me so the only thing though you since you got out of jail you weren't allowed to carry a gun has that ever been an issue when like they see dog coming and they're like well the worst he can do is mace us and you know sick leland on us and maybe have a zip tie around my my wrist well you today uh back then by the way is a badass so that would be worse than a gun he's a good fighter yeah but uh back then i'd use uh different things now today you have non-lethal weapons that will drop a mule so they don't want to get tased with the new taser or they have the pepper ball it's an's an automatic seven shots a second.
And it won't kill you, but it's like Mike Tyson punching you in the mouth. Right.
So I have one on each hand and open up on them. Badass.
You can actually draw. David's ahead of me by two tasings right now.
Oh, really? Because he sent me to the back door. We just got shows next week.
Okay, that's my phone. Yeah, yeah.
Next week you'll see this guy's nuts. And so I go to the back door.
just got shows next week this okay that's my phone yeah next week you'll see the this guy's nuts and so i go to the back door we're gonna see his nuts or are you gonna see he's crazy yeah okay just want to clear i go to the back door and there ain't no back door yeah and then i hear pop like that he's like you motherfuckers oh man he got a nut sorry ma'am fuck yeah he got's still a lady. She loves it.
I love it. All right, so here's the other thing I had for you.
You mentioned the Brandon Dassey and Steve Avery case. I wrote a blog about this.
I went and looked it up. You said, let's just give them truth serum, and we'll fucking find out in two seconds if they're murderers or not.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Does that work? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
You got truth serum? Or is that just talking to dogs? Well, no, no. There is sodium, what is it called? Sodium pentothal? Yeah, and methamphetamine.
Okay. A combination.
Yeah, a combination and a cigarette because of the nicotine. Yep.
No, I'm telling you. Yeah.
Yeah. And they did it to the GIs in the Korean War.
The Koreans made methamphetamine, started it, you know, the ice. And they'd give it to them, them and the guys just talk back in the day in the 70s and 80s when i rode with the motorcycle club if you did meth you were not allowed in the club because you were a rat yeah yeah you can't help it right and so today i don't know what they do but you could you give them true serum you know and you can find out where the bodies are.
Did they really do it? I was charged once with a crime. Wasn't charged, but the detective was going to charge me, and I didn't do it.
I wasn't even there. And I said, listen, what I'll do is get in the courtroom, and I'll demand my rights of a jury of my peers.
That means all convicts. And I'll take truth serum right in front of your ass.
Yes. And let what happens no that to save millions of tax dollars okay so so true let's say they they don't do true serum do you think if you get brandon dassey and steve avery in the back of of uh a van just mano a mano they're zip tied you're sitting there your dog you think you get a confession out of them no i've beat some that just won't talk they won't all right so we gotta do the truth serum that's fine yeah yeah and then you don't get charged with assault and but i've had to back in the day you know really lay them out right they won't the more you hit them the more they won't talk so have you ever thought about running for like attorney general or i guess that you don't run for that you get appointed but like truth serum like no one's thought of that what well have you ever thought about getting into politics and being like the number one cop in America well we do a lot of Beth and I was doing a lot of my team right now do a lot of uh to different states to keep bail alive and to keep you know our jobs so I do a lot of lobbying I wanted there's a new sheriff in town oh whoa how you just said that yeah down my spot.
Listen, and so. Steven Seagal would shit himself if you heard that.
There's a new sheriff in town. One more time, one more time.
There's a new sheriff in town. So the National Enquirer's helped me get a pardon next week.
And if I get when I get the pardon, I'm going to run for sheriff of a county. I'm going to pick it out, and we're going to have a ball.
You're going to be sheriff dog.
I'm going to be sheriff dog.
That's great.
I'm going to make sure that the crime, you know,
that guys that do crime get paid for it,
and guys that don't get out.
You should move to where Kane, the wrestler, is the mayor
and just make it the most badass place in the world.
Tennessee?
Yeah, it's Kane is the mayor and sheriff dog. Yeah.
It's not Dog. Yeah.
Who's going to fuck with that place? I like Tennessee. You bring up an interesting thing about keeping bail going because I've been hearing a lot in the news probably the last year, two years how cash bail is actually a very big problem for a lot of poor people in America and how it's not the best system and other countries do it way.
Right. What's your take on all that? Well, you just look at the States that are doing it like that.
Oh, the poor victim, you know, the poor guy, he broke the law always broke. What? You know, what about the guy you raped? What about the girl you raped? What about the house you broke into? What about all that? Now, graffiti peeing on the sidewalk, all that, let them go.
Okay. America right now still is not, if we're white, I'm half-breed Apache, I'm in.
If you're black, you got a problem. Still in America.
The bail is higher. You get charged with a different kind of crime.
You catch a white boy with a half ounce of pot, he gets busted for possession. A black guy, sales and possession and whatever right once it becomes you know fair all the way around the table then it's like the reason i do not speed when i drive a car is because i got to pay tickets because that keeps me i know right this one highway patrol as i go by there i set that baby on 70 because he has got me and he goes every time i know you're coming dog and so i set it down set my you know my cruise control and i keep it five miles under because i know he's around there why because it cost me 300 bucks last time next time 600 bucks that you hit you hit us in the pocket we're gonna do right right so that's and bail nowadays you check in with your bondsman we put people through counseling you know i have several guys their wives call me you know because of domestic violence i have to talk him down so we're different than here's a card call us when you get in trouble but no supervision it's freedom with supervision and without it you're you're a criminal there's that's why they're criminals there's something wrong with them right i agree with you that you know there are some crimes out there that absolutely don't need bail you know like the victimless crimes possession of marijuana that sort of thing so yeah yeah i agree like you know rape violent crime domestic abuse yeah absolutely keep them in jail keep them on a on a very close watch as long as you can right uh do you ever find that your personal appearance makes it more difficult to sneak up on people? No, you can tell.
Even when I walk around, I'll notice a guy will be looking at me and he'll be like. Like, well, I don't want to get bit by the dog.
Because he knows he's wanted, right? Yep, yep, and you could be coming for him. So you're saying that your personal appearance can actually be helpful to you because people start to act suspicious when they see you.
Exactly right. It's just like this.
When you see thunder and lightning and that thunder is really loud and the lightning is cracking, you know that rain is coming. Yep.
And they see Uncle Dog coming. Yee-haw.
Yeah. Those zip ties are about to come out.
You're about to go down. I love it.
I love it. So how can...
Can I come and ride along sometime? No, the insurance won't allow it. What? We're going to do a celebrity maybe ride along though.
We got a couple guys. We're trying to get the insurance.
Let me do it. I'm Big Cat.
You're dog. Cat and dog.
Cats and dog. I mean, come on.
It's like Snoop told me. He wanted to go and I might take him.
And he's like. You're like Snoop over me? You know.
Snoop doesn't watch enough. Yeah.
And he said, thy double dog dare me. Now you have to.
Yeah. Now you absolutely.
Okay. That's fair.
The double dog thing. Yeah.
That kind of trumps it. What about.
So the interesting part about the evolution of the show, because I watched back in the day, I watch someone now, is social media and how quickly people almost like tell on themselves. Boy, isn't it? Your job, I would imagine, has gotten a little bit easier because you guys will look for someone and be like, oh, he just checked in on Facebook, like right down the street.
Yeah, or you've got the stuff. What's it called, David, where we see in the dark? Oh, I have a clear camera.
Yeah, the cameras you can see in the dark is that we caught a guy the other day right good runner guys wanted two years by the cops took we got to get them in a week because our budget right the show's budget so we caught the guy and he's like saw all the equipment we had we was bugging we have the thing we could listen and all that and he's like fuck dog you cheated man yeah technology nowadays oh my god everywhere you go there's a camera you know he's david is my guy who's got computers and stuff right and he won't do a felony but he'll go right next to one so you got places where you pull in to get gas and there's a camera that takes your plate and then sends it to a central computer. You just look in there to see where it is unbelievable what the cops got now to find guys.
It's really good. Do you feel like that's kind of taken a little bit of the love out of the game because you don't have to work as hard? No, you do work as hard.
I miss the days when you got up in front of the whiteboard in Hawaii, and you'd write you'd write the guy's name down. You'd be like, all right, do we know anyone, any of his friends? Let's go out there and bust some skulls.
Well, that's what you had to do back then is find the weakest link in the family and or the gang. Nowadays, you don't have to do that.
You don't have to depend on a snitch. You just hunt the guy.
It's just like if you're hunting a deer and he's tied to a post, shoot him this one now you're hunting the deer and he's running you got to follow his tracks through the bushes that's funner i like doing it with the okay the night vision and stuff do you have anyone on your staff that's in charge of combing through social media seeing their instagram account like pictures that like where they might be to tip them off you have someone that does that yes because i feel like that's something that we could also help out a lot. That would be great.
I got one right now. Yeah.
I got one right now that we need some million and a half dollar bond. What's his name? What's his name? Cameron Lawhead.
What's his handle? K-A-M. K-A-M.
Lawhead. Cameron Lawhead.
Okay. Let's see.
Instagram. Cameron Lawhead.
He has not tweeted yet. He's on Instagram.
No posts yet. Let's see who he follows.
Let's see who he follows on Instagram. This is a big...
Is he named Lawhead? Really? That's kind of ironic. Have you talked to Brea Klarer yet? He follows her.
Ooh, let's get it. Let's get him.
Allison Byram. Okay.
He's from Kauai, Hawaii, right? Okay. That's what it looks like here.
Kauai's a beautiful place. Yeah.
Yeah. Do you miss Hawaii? Are you in Hawaii a lot or no? I miss the weather and the brothers and the people, but wherever you're happy, you can make your own Hawaii.
So where are you spending most of your time? Right now in Colorado. Snowed last night.
Oh, damn. That stinks.
Do you think... Wait, wait.
Cameron Lawhead follows
Bikini Picture on Instagram.
What does that tell us? He's horny.
We need to entrap him
with some hot chicks. Meth.
Meth and hot girls.
I can shave my chest. We can do
a little catfish thing. Put a bikini
on. I'll try to send him some DMs.
Yeah, we should follow him with a hot girl avatar let me know i'll give you myself let's do it let's do it let's track this motherfucker down 10 grand boom you got i don't need listen i don't i do it for the love of the game i don't need it for the money i just want to be a help to the dogs thank you that's all i'm looking for um he's he'll make a mistake though when you get him like that, the guy is, and he's a meth head. Yeah.
Big time. Okay.
So he'll make a mistake. This is a tough question to ask, but I want to ask it.
Since Beth has passed away, have you had a moment where she's kind of looked down on you and, like, maybe helped with the bounty hunter? Well, we we in the final show, we pull up to the guy. We roll up on him hot.
And when he sees us, he bolts right then. And then my team is behind him and I'm on the side and we lose him.
And I'm like, oh, my God, no way you can't. This is a 50 grander.
You can't lose this guy. Big guy, big guy, right? And I'm like, Beth, shit.
And then I hear Leland say, I got him. I'm on him again.
And David says, we have an angelic drone helping us out. I believe it.
And I thought, oh, my God. Yeah, well, she better help me on this other one yeah but i believe it yeah you actually yeah i mean it's unfair now i mean it was already unfair because you caught everyone you've ever caught it needed to catch but now you have an angelic drone this guy here it's a good thing there's cameras because he knows beth passed and he knows he knows all this stuff so this is going to be hard for me not to kick his teeth out yeah but, but you can't.
Especially with No Beth. You can't outrun an angelic drone.
No. That's coming for you, no matter what.
That's what I'm talking about right there. I love it.
All right. Do you have any other last questions? Yeah.
I was curious if you ever watched the episode of South Park that they did about you. Yeah, that was cool.
Did you think it was funny? Yes, it was great. Yeah.
What about the picture that you took in the water when you're coming out of the water before the 10 finger diet? That was like flip the paparazzi off. Yeah, that was a tough one.
As a dog fan, that was tough. I had a lot of people asking like, hey, what's going on with your boy? I was like, yeah, if you look at it though, they drew this belly on there.
They draw it on because the guy kept, we were in Maui. Oh, his airbrush.
Yeah. Is that what we're going with? Why didn't you tell me? I would have said that official statement no that's photoshop no it was photoshop it wasn't ever that big but i uh we i flipped we were he's in private or no he's on a public sidewalk yeah and just like they're out front in your place right now yeah and as long as they're on a public sidewalk they can't go to a private place so he's on a public sidewalk shooting in a to a problem to I said, hey, what are you doing? Right? He said something.
So I flipped him off. Beth goes, uh-oh.
They're going to Photoshop your stomach and make you look fat because you're not fat. No.
No. They're going to make you something, they're going to say.
So I learned from now on, from that day forward, that's what, 10 years ago, to wear my shades when they could paparazzis around because they try to trip you same with their cameras right and you're flash you bump into something yeah that was not right oh no look at that that's photoshopped that's photoshopped officially that's bullshit that's officially photoshopped everyone fuck off who says anything about it thank you brother you can see man you're you're fucking diesel and all these other women yeah yeah you look relaxed too you look like you're uh ready yeah we got it i i'm doing uh i thought i can i tell you what happened i thought i had a heart attack right yeah oh i saw that news oh yeah and they're doctors so i hospitals i'm again half apache i don't like that you know because they charge you seven bucks for a freaking band-aid right so I went in they said oh took it to test it looks like you've had two heart attacks I'm like what and they're like yeah so I want a cigarette so I started to leave and they said you can't smoke on the property I said I'll go off the property and this guy's like well you're not going back in. I go, who the hell are you? How are you going to keep me in? He goes, oh, physically.
I said, let's work our way outside, you son of a bitch, right? And so I started to go for him. And he was like, ah, and all the girls, they fired him the next day.
So I went out and had a cigarette, came back, and it hit me again. So right, you know, as you go in the hospital, you have a heart attack kind of story.
And they're like, well, he's having one right now. So I'm like freaked out Beth shit.
Okay. I'm coming baby.
Right. So then the next day I do this treadmill thing and I run it.
Then they do the, put the thing up my vein all the way into my heart. Yeah.
Yeah. Then they said, we want to see the girls.
Like, I want to see your ID. Dr id dr oz filmed it okay and so it's a good show and so uh i said why she goes because you're not this age you got an age you got a 16 year old heart i'm like what she goes there's nothing wrong so dr oz stepped in okay smart smart guy no really trustworthy yes said take x-rays of this that they found a a blood clot in the right lung okay so it's an embolism exactly there you go yeah so your heart is great yeah yeah yeah i don't just say was there any smoke more was there was there any point i have not making a deal with him sorry was there any point that the doctor was just like dog like i there's no medical term for this but you have a broken heart from well
yeah that's what i they said right and i thought i've heard of that like you know people married 65 years the guy dies the lady dies the next day you know and then i started thinking no way shit i want to stay alive because i was like now today i'm not afraid to die anymore but i don't want to stand in front of a train. Because I had a chance to last month.
And I'm like, shit, I don't want to die. And I had a dream where she was in heaven, water, and the grass.
And I came up, scared her like that. Because she used to always try to sneak up on me, but she can't.
Chiragawa. And so I went, boo.
And she turned around and said, what took you so long, Big Daddy? So I almost jumped off a building. Yeah.
Because I thought, shit, she's waiting up there on me, you know. No, it's some hard shit.
Yeah. It's some really.
Yeah. I can feel it.
Apache sex is my main game. It's not anymore.
Yeah. I have a good friend.
My personal assistant named Moon is my friend. She talks about Beth.
And Beth would say. And Beth would do.
And Beth would do. And the way she talks about that.
And she say and Beth would do and Beth would do and the way she
talks about that and she's a girl
and I don't have sex
because I don't give a shit about it anymore and that's
really something for me to say
I have 12 children
you've had sex
from 12 years old or up
me too
me too at 12 from a girl
how old is she?
she's like 17
I didn't even understand she had to use
or two yeah yeah yeah yeah we too at 12 for a girl how old is she she's like 17 17 and i didn't even understand she had to use her thumb to show me what to do oh so i mean ladies man from the beginning she pegged yeah yeah no she showed how to put it in oh wow that's uh that's the thumber honestly like borderline abuse but yeah better than sex ed class yeah i guess. Yeah, I guess so.
If you had to learn one way, I'd probably choose that one. And she was my next door neighbor, so I told my mom.
My mom's like, oh, my God. That actually is serious.
Stay away from that. Yeah, probably get advice there.
But you have 12 kids. Yes.
Are you still close with all of them? I know it's like every now and then there's some fights that go on. Oh, all the time.
You guys are a passionate breed.
You love passion.
All the time. I got one that's Christopher is an idiot.
No, he's the oldest, right?
So I made him when I was 15.
So he made him.
I like that.
So he sits in my lap with people.
I'm like, my God, you idiot.
But so the other day he calls me from jail.
He's like, jail, jail, jail his whole life. So in the set.
Have you read a bounty on him? No, almost. That's like the last season.
I had to tase him once. When my sons get around me, I carry a taser.
All my sons are together. Even Leland? Oh, yeah.
I'll tase Leland's ass. Why did you have to tase Christopher? He was acting a fool? He trying to fight you? Here, listen how he did.
He's in jail for this. So he calls me up.
Collect from Christopher from the jail. I'm like, oh my God.
Yeah, what did he do? And he said, they said I beat up a blind man, Dad. I go, you beat up a blind man? He goes, yeah, they're lying.
He had glasses on. I go, what? And he had this stick he was hitting me with, Dad.
I beat the fuck out of him.
I'm like, oh, you dumbass.
No, that's a true story.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's Christopher.
He beats up trucks, cars, bicycles, and goes to prison for one or two years.
And then he calls me from prison.
Dad, I'm like, cool.
They know I'm Dog the Bounty Hunter's son.
They know it's cool here no i
mean but yeah there's all we have all a lot of baby lisa's doing well yeah she's doing she's in the next season two okay nice gary boy is on last night you see him yeah yeah remember he was i want to bounty hunt dad he's five years old tall as my boot yes he's six four two twenty five two thirty No, he thinks he's a cop because he's a cop junior man.
What did he say last night that's on the show? Oh, he was all like, be advised. Yeah, okay, let's be advised.
And I'm like, be advised? He's talking like a cop. Yeah, what the hell, bro? You know, we're not cops, Gary boy.
Yeah. And he's like, Dad, we've been out 15 minutes and you've broken 13 laws the laws and running stop sign dad one more it's a felony sounds like a narc yeah yeah i tell him you're a rat his mom used to say shut up rat yeah um all right so i have my last question it is a seeking question promo code take put it in you get ten dollars off you want to go to a sporting event are you sports fan yes football mostly Okay, what do you like? Who's your team? Right now, I've got a lot of them.
I like 49ers are freaking me out. I'm like, whoa, they're getting good.
I like Patriots. Wow, he's the best in the world.
The Green Bay, oh, you see him throwing that ball? My God. You're like Drake.
You're like America's Drake. I like that.
I like this. No, he's doing real good.
Yeah. And then Seattle, what happened? Yeah.
You know, they quit beating him up. The quarterback slapped him and stuff, and he got cold.
No, they'll be all right. I think Seattle's going to be one of the teams that's in there at the end.
Broncos, oh, they need to change their name. They stink.
Just put Elway down there and coach and shut up and shut up and let's rock and roll. So my last question is how many fistfights do you think you've been in? Oh, my God.
Oh, I couldn't tell you. One every two weeks probably.
Yeah. It's always funny watching on the show when, like, some guy thinks he wants to go at you and you're just like, come on,'t want this and then he backs down well i used to box so you know in 91 was my last fight because i had high blood pressure the the doctor said this is it and so i took karate was a black belt i was raised in the bruce lee era and uh i can throw down so you know these criminals are so high or they think they're tough you know yeah they're they're not could you fight your way out of this room right now oh yeah all of us on you damn well you take it out first David would be there too so he take David out he's he goes out of the room and he's like dog they're gonna fight for their life to keep you in this room well you get out when you get in a gang like that and you get somebody jumps you you take one of them and you don't quit beating him and you just because you're gonna you're getting hit from the side in the back and you just keep hitting the one right there smiling oh yeah yeah dog no i don't think he's ever been punched out the fuck Out of you Jake Jake you would have No fucking face Jake's a pretty tough guy No you'd beat the fuck out of you Jake would be able I'd say Tell him to stop And then he'd say Stop you guys Tell him to stop Yeah and you know what Hearing Jake scream out In agony would probably Make me stop I would feel so bad I'd be like was serious.
Your face is dead, dude. Let's hear Jake say stop one time.
Yeah, say stop, dog. Stop beating me up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is, right.
There it is. Get the fuck out of him.
You're smart. That's smart.
That's smart. Oh, shit, we need to bounty hunt, brothers.
Yeah. I'm ready.
I'm ready. I'm ready to go.
We could help with some of the social media stuff for real. I'll go anytime you want.
I will be there. I will bounty hunt.
I love it. I'm going to find those Cameron guys.
I'll drive. We'll give you David's cell number.
I'll fucking zip tie someone. I'll mace someone.
Cameron Lawhead, you're going down, bro. I'll crack a couple jokes while we sit on those couches and at the whiteboard.
Whatever you need. Well, what it does, here's what it does, is that if you're a celebrity and you're here and everyone knows you, when they, you tell that guy, listen, man, smoke pot, relax.
You had sex in how long you're not, you're chasing the dragon.
Right.
You can't even do that anymore.
Sleep or nothing.
And then he meets you.
He changes his life.
Right.
Or just like you meet Stallone.
Right.
He wants to go on one of the ride alongs.
You meet Rocky, right?
You're done with, you know, whatever. We'll go after a guy that beats his old lady i already told him and we'll catch him and then you tell him next time you beat your wife i'm coming to beat you when you i mean when they meet like you celebrities they change it really does change their life so we need to wait till you find someone who's done something illegal that follows us on twitter and us.
Okay. And we're like, we'll go man to man to them and be like, listen, man, you don't want to.
Dogs in the car right now. You want to do this the easy way or the hard way? What crime do you think is most likely for somebody that's a fan of part of my take to commit? I don't know.
I would say running an illegal bookmaking operation. Drugs, because you're a bad impression on him.
I'm a bad influence, yeah. Yeah, one of those.
Drugs are bookmaking. Well, you know what's really great? Chasing.
The best chase we ever had was a counterfeiter. Oh, my God.
Oh, yes. And we caught him by the tats.
Oh. Because I was looking at his tats, and I was like, that cannot be that real.
Yeah. And he did it himself.
He was right-handed. Of course, the counterfeiter would of course do his own tats.
The guy was an artist. Yeah.
Right? We got him. But yeah, that's the fun one.
Yeah. The counterfeiters.
What's the most scared you've ever been during a bounty hunt? Well, you're scared you're not scared but you're worried because i put the mug shot up somewhere right and like on the wherever i can see it all day and study it all week and then sometimes you walk by it and you hear it say i'm gonna get you motherfucker i'm the one gonna get you and then you go no you're not you punk and you're talking to the mugshot and you start you know feeling that right and you kind of see where he's going to get you at and i've got one right now that it's a single shot shotgun a really long one that i know i'm going to see come out of the room so i mean you there's thoughts you see it before it happens yeah so you you get you almost get afraid before you have a chance, yes. And then when something happens, I know how I go up to the door.
I know how I go in. Deja vu.
When it does that, stop and back off because God showed you that's going to happen. So stop right now.
And then you get shot and go, why did I get shot? And God goes, I tried to tell you, man. Well well best looking out for you now though thank you
there you go uh dog thank you so much thank you very fun you guys anytime yeah anytime you're in town please come by anytime you need our help in a bounty hunt we're we are always ready to out okay david's gonna give you a sell so we want lawhead perfect yeah bring that motherfucker Thank you, man.
Aloha.
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And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots regular season or playoffs win or lose no matter what happens no matter where it happens new amsterdam vodka is there okay let's get to some segments we got uh two things we got to get to before we get to guys on chicks we have pmt sports biz all right so let's do pmt sports this is actually the last one for a while right because our darling jake is going uh he's going to still produce a video version on his twitter account but our darling jake is going back to be the voice of the vermont catamounts basketball team radio. America's team.
America's team radio. He's going to be, listen, when Jake becomes the next Joe Buck, just remember he started by getting us like weird costumes and Red Bulls and being awesome at trolling Ravel with us.
Yeah, Jake, do you remember what is the weirdest request that we've made of you? There's no microphone in front of Jake. Hank's going to repeat.
Big heads, costumes for always turtlenecks. Turtlenecks.
I've had him go out and get about 15 turtlenecks. Okay.
He's had to go everywhere for the turtlenecks. You need a different one each week? I actually found a store down the street.
Before you leave, I'm going to have you go get more. They're mock neck, mock turtlenecks.
Stock up. Yeah.
Before he leaves for sure. Big time.
Stock up. All right.
So let's do some PMT sports biz. Good morning.
This is Jake Marsh with a PMT sports biz minute. Last week, Jets quarterback, Sam Darnold admitted to seeing ghosts when facing the Patriots defense.
And funny enough, Halloween happens to be tomorrow. Back in the day, dressing up in costumes was a way to hide from ghosts.
Celtics and other Europeans would wear masks so that the ghosts would think they were fellow spirits. And to keep the ghosts out of their homes, people would place bowls of food outside of their homes to keep the ghosts happy.
Coming Saturday afternoon in Jacksonville, the world's largest outdoor cocktail party, aka Florida versus Georgia. And you won't believe where the name cocktail came from.
According to longtime bartender Jerry Thomas, ginger was used in the horse trade to make a horse stick its tail up. Here's the scene.
You have a horse you're trying to sell. Back in the day, folks would stick ginger up its butt.
It would stick its tail up and be frisky. That, naturally, would be known as a cocktail.
That's your PMT Sports Biz Minute, Mr. Cat and Mr.
Commenter. Back to you.
Thanks, Jake. Thanks, Jake.
That was very cool. Jake's still going to be part of our lives, though.
He's staying. He's still going to blog for us.
He's going to be back throughout the season. So he's not leaving, leaving.
And he's also done a great job of keeping up with the fullback assist staff. Yes.
Which Kyle Juszczak is still in first place, right? Yeah. So Jake's not leaving us.
He's just going to go be a star for the Vermont Catamounts basketball team radio. Such a funny name for a team, too, the Catamounts catamounts we gotta get we gotta like crash the radio site one day to have everyone listen to it we also need to if people can help us we're gonna we need to have jake have a signature call oh yeah okay so like mike breen has his bang uh-huh joe buck has yabo we need something for jake so people if you can think of something, he will say whatever.
He will literally say whatever you say on air because he has to do it because we're his boss. How about this one? Holy shit.
Yeah. Mother Freaker.
Oh, that's a good one. Mother Freaker off of like a big dunk.
A mother freaking dunk. You should just steal Boom Goes the Dynamite just or just take wet into the broadcasting mainstream oh is the anthony lamb still on the team anthony lamb wet yeah anthony lamb mother freaking three yeah that's good that's good what clunk use a bunch of nba jam ones too he's heating up boom shak.
Is it the shoes? If you did boom shakalaka, that would actually be legit. Okay.
We'll workshop that. So next up, before we get to guys on chicks with chaps, we have a respect the biz.
Hank, would you like to explain what's going on? Yes. So on Saturday, on the part of my take Twitter, someone someone uh awl tweeted me a clip of a game day the host of game day talking trash about mount rushmore in the clip the host was like you know i don't like all this mount rushmore people that just talk about mount rushmore it was a little aggressive and it was only like a three second clip so i don't really even understand the context of it weren't they in south dakota at the time yeah that you got you can't go into South Dakota and disrespect Mount Rushmore.
Exactly. So regardless of context, I immediately Orlando and talking shit about Chili's.
I immediately took the clip. I tweeted it.
Uh, and I said, you just made the list. And I added Chris Fowler because I thought it was Chris Fowler.
And then it turned out Chris Fowler responded. He was very upset and he was like, are you kidding me? This isn't me.
I haven't done game day since 2014. like figure it out uh turned out it was reese davis yeah they give up he gives off powerful chris fowler energy yes i would agree they're the same guy they're the same guy i had to do a triple i was like at first i was like oh fuck i fucked up and then i looked into it and i was like wait a second i would do this much like matt nagy i would do this 100 times out of 100 yeah all those guys those guys, they're all different iterations of Carl Ravitch.
Just different generations. So we're on Carl Ravitch 3 right now.
Yes, and the only reason that it got brought to our attention is because, yeah, Jake, we have to show that picture that you sent us. We had to tweet that.
Yeah, Jake is a true blue. The reason why Jake works is because he really is like Darren Revell.
If Darren Revell just just got someone had an intervention with darren revell before it went too far yeah if you dose darren revell with ayahuasca or like a little bit of ecstasy well he was the one that was mad about it he was like he was like you know this was like you saw this right i was like oh and then i felt bad i was like wait a second jake has pictures with like every sports center anchor ever pretty much he's like look at this 12 year old jake with three car wait who is it reese carl ravish reese davis carl ravish the third i don't know they're all the fucking same they were built in a bristol factory and they look exactly the same hey look they all do a great job they do i don't know which one's which but they all do a great they all do the same great job which is they kind of stay out of the way they interject little sentences that kind kind of amplify small moments of the game. Where's Chris Fowler now? What does he do? And what does Reece Davis do? That's true.
That's fucked up. I didn't realize.
I thought Reece got with him and went with him to the games. And Fowler used to host game day.
Yeah, this is all very confusing. This isn't okay.
All right, sorry, not sorry. No, you're not.
You are totally in the clear, Hank. They have deliberately tried to deceive us.
And then you got bullshit. And then Mike Greenberg is essentially the same as all of them.
He's in the studio. Don't try to bring Greenberg in.
No, Greeny is Reese Davis with a wife. Finds a way to make Mike Greenberg happen.
I still miss Mike. When is Mike coming on the show? Somebody tweet at Mike Greenberg and say that we love him.
You just got to go to that Starbucks on 27th. I still haven't met him.
And just stand there and wait for him. He walks his, what's Phoebe? Yeah.
You know his dog? I mean, he fucking tweets about it nonstop. I follow him.
I'm so happy you knew his name. Well, it's one of those situations where you have to.
Phoebe's a good dog. You have to get the interest of your partner.
So like, oh, my husband's starting to play golf. I'm going to start playing a little golf.
My work husband loves Mike Greenberg. I might as well figure out everything about mike greenberg so we can have conversations that's why i am all aboard mr bisky because i'm trying to learn more about your interests yes we can have when we sit down for dinner we always have things to talk about okay let's go to uncle chaps and guys on checks we welcome our great friend uncle chaps who has shaved his beard off chaps has really come out of a shell about showing his face ever since you got your pink eye taken care of.
Yeah. Did you always have no lips? No, that one hurts because I never noticed it.
That was shocking to me when I woke up in the hotel this morning and turned the light on. And I was like, I have worm lips.
Yeah. Can you set the scene of of chaps how long you've had the beard and what yeah how long you had it yeah so i had a beard for i i know exactly when because i got out of the marine corps on december oh yeah nice thank you for sure december 1st of 2012 okay and i've had a beard ever since then so it's been eight years yeah and.
And then you just, poof. Nine years.
Seven.
Seven years.
You just poof.
Shaved it all.
And you decided to shave your playoff beard
on the eve
of a clinching
World Series game
against my Nationals.
You're an Astros fan.
Well, you also decided
not to wear the uniform.
Which is very problematic.
That beat Clayton Kershaw
that swept the Cardinals.
We're recording this
before we tape the live stream. so I might put it on.
You don't know that.
We have no idea.
But, chaps, it's a very cocky move of you to shave your beard before a clinching game.
See, people are saying it's a playoff beard.
I think a playoff beard you have to start growing at the beginning of the playoffs.
Well, you grew it at the beginning of the playoffs.
Chaps, I have good news for you. Just any beard removal at this point is is questionable you have no lips true but that's a good thing because i've done some investigative research and the richer you are the less lips you have you ever seen warren buffett's lips look at that guy no lips no lips at all the old rich white dudes zero lips i think that's just old people though, because they just lose their lips.
It's like John Wooten. Yeah.
He got his ears
bigger. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Maybe you could get some silicone injected
there. I thought about it.
Bill Gates.
Yep. No lips.
Let me see.
Look at that. Look at that fucking no lip loser.
He's got no lips. That's no lips.
That's like me. Yeah, he's got no lips.
Actually, you know what we should do? We should get one of those
cupping things, you know, like the swimmers do before they go, and just put them around your lips and just suck them out so you get a lot of blood in there. I think I've lost – I think my lips are the same.
I think it's the color that has gone away. Yeah, you do look sickly.
I look gross. I don't like it.
No, your face is abhorrent. I like his face.
What are some of the things people have compared your face to? What are the most common comparisons? A slug? Well, I'm getting bubbles from Trailer Park. A banana slug.
You look like a moon. A moon? Yeah.
Somebody told me I look like a basketball that was left out in the sun for a long time. No, I'd say like a basketball that's been left inside a garage, like totally out of the sun.
Yeah. Mrs.
Doubtfire. You look like a cartoon, like a really, yeah, you do look like Mrs.
Doubtfire. You look like a rated R cartoon that they put on Adult Swim at like two in the morning.
You're like, ugh. Yeah.
That's what you look like. You look like a German cartoon that's educating kids on how to wear condoms, and you're the cartoon penis.
A really mean one was somebody said that I look like Bisquick batter
that somebody drew eyes on.
Oh, that is good, though.
That's over the line.
Yeah, you do look like a rotten pancake.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
A pancake, you're like, ooh, anyone want this last pancake?
No.
Right.
Throw it out. That's Uncle Chap.
No. You look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man started to melt.
Oh, man. What about- Oh, somebody hit me with, oh, hey, you guys looking ass.
Oh, no. Have you thought about now that your face is a blank canvas? Right.
You can grow that facial hair out in any pattern that you desire until you bring the entire beard back. Are you something different no just straight beard you just get back as fast as possible we gotta get back off the IR this is good though because eventually you're gonna try it it's good that you tried it around us I've been thinking about it and alluding to it in tweets for a long time it's been something that I've thought about because my beard has been so long it was like breaking no but it, but it looked good.
I loved your beard. My beard didn't look great.
I have a very pubic beard as it is. Okay, so here's a spin zone.
I asked for Hank's opinion and Hank was like, I will not give judgment because Hank also looks horrendous when he shaves his face. Yeah.
So it happens. It could be me.
He's got no chin. I think most people who primarily rock a beard, you automatically look worse.
Even like Brad Pitt looks better with the beard.
Beards are in now.
So I also have a bad face when I don't grow a beard.
The problem with me is I can't grow a beard, so I'm just stuck with this.
At least you're able to grow the hair over the face.
I envy you, sir.
What about the fact that your lips are so small
do you think you're more resistant to herpes?
Yeah.
How do you drink out of a bottle?
Do you get the correct suction?
Do you remember that guy?
It probably just spills down your fucking face.
I remember him being blogged in old school barstool.
Remember the dude who used to chug Snapple and Mountain Dew?
Yeah, yeah.
That's how I feel. Yeah.
You have no suction ability. No.
You have no sealing ability. You go to drink a beer.
I really like coming on this show. Okay, let's do guys on chicks.
Yeah, we love having you here too. Okay, here we go.
Yeah, I got the questions. Hey, perfectly normal, have a nice chapsie.
What's your routine when styling, conditioning your beard? That sucks. That's a question.
That's a legit question for you, though. When you have a beard, what do you use to condition it? I have a brand called Monet, I think it's called.
Ooh, fancy. So they have a leave-in conditioner that I leave in.
I've always heard coconut oil. Coconut oil is good, too.
Is it? Yeah. Avocado oil It's like that apple cider vinegar.
That's pure for whatever it is. It really is though a lesson and you can never get too high, too low because your eye does look phenomenal.
Yeah. Like it looks a hundred percent back.
So you had to even it out by shaving your beard. Couldn't deal with too many compliments.
Right. Right.
People were starting to get a little too high on chaps. Water always finds its level.
Yeah. It was getting too many compliments.
Are you not allowed to have a beard in the service? No, you're not. Oh.
So what about all the special operators that I've seen over in Afghanistan? They get waivers and stuff, but the Navy SEALs actually took that away when they got in trouble for partying too much in Iraq when they built the bar. Yeah.
They got their beard privileges taken away. That's a harsh card to be.
Well, yeah. Imagine how pissed you'd you'd be.
Going to shave every day. And also just losing your beard.
I also have gained a lot of weight since the last time. I used to have no double chin.
I'm double chin city now. And it's not even double chin.
It's like swollen hands. That's all the hair from your beard was pulling that part of your chin skin down, though.
You're stretching it out. This right here makes me feel bad about myself.
A little bit. Feel it.
It's like a nut sack? It's like Peter Griffin's chin. Yeah, it's like a nut sack.
It's like, you know, when a dog gets neutered and their nuts just kind of swing for a little while? Yeah, there's no balls in there. I basically have no nuts.
We should get neuticles put in your chin. Fuck, man.
All right. All right.
By the way, listen to the Chaps podcast, Zero Block 30, if you want to hear more military stuff. Yeah.
And Podfathers. And Podfathers.
Yeah. Shout out Podfathers.
I'm going to go on sometime. Podfathers, yeah, definitely.
We were going to do that, but then you always like, oh, I'm super busy. What's up, guys? My question is for Chaps.
It's a callback from Monday's show. Do guys' beards hurt them as much as they hurt us? Is that why you shaved it?
Whenever I make out with a guy who has a substantial beard,
I get cuts and beard burns on my face, and it's kind of painful.
I've actually heard that it's the opposite.
Unless you go in right after you shave,
you're more likely to get facial burn from day-old stubble.
Yeah, I agree with that.
So long beard, it's kind of softer.
It's not going to do that. Kiss PFT, let's see.
Give me a kiss. Did it hurt? Did it hurt? I mean, I couldn't really feel it because he's got no lips.
That's a bad kiss. I expected a wetter kiss.
I wasn't tender, as I should have been. No, you weren't.
Wait, so you're saying immediately after you shave, that's when it can get you because the hairs are really sharp.
Right.
And then if you wait for, like, two days.
I think you've got to be your sweet spot is 30 minutes after a shave.
That's the make-out time.
Yeah, that's heavy making out.
And then after that, you've got to wait to, like, nine days.
Yeah.
Okay.
Come up for air.
Yeah.
Then get back into Frenching.
Yep.
Are we ready? Yeah. Hi, PMT crew crew especially the world series champion nationals pft thank you i'm in a very bad predicament with this love triangle i'm a news reporter with my husband we're known as the married news team around the office lately i've been seeing an investigative journalist from the same news station ever since i started that i really just don't love my husband but he's such a good guy.
I've been putting pepper flakes on my nipples to deter him and eating an absurd amount of shawarma to stir up my spaghetti house. Am I a bad person if I become married news team with Stevie? Help.
This seems like the plot from the movie that we're not aware of. Sometimes they try to sneak those in on us.
That's definitely a plot that we haven't seen. What movie is that? I haven't seen it.
Chili Flakes on My Nipples. Chili Flakes on My Nipples.
I'm going to go with The Passion of the Christ. That is the plot line of The Passion of the Christ.
Nice try. Chap 2.
All right, let's go. Hey, Slim Cat.
Pig. Oh, Pig PFT.
Did they do that to you? Pig PFT. Damn.
That's a new one. Dang.
And Henry, this is a beard question for chaps. My boyfriend has been insecure about not being able to grow facial hair.
He's young, 20s. He recently started putting Rogaine on his face after hearing it's like steroids for beards.
And the thing is, it worked on his face but also worked on the rest of his body. His arm and leg hair is now darker and thicker, and he's sprouting new hairs on his chest fingers and toes and on top of it he's growing in unibrow now.
He's happy with his beard so far but
I'm concerned that if I let him continue
I'll be dating cousin
it before I know it. What should I do?
Just fingers. Yeah that's weird.
Because otherwise you're just a Greek guy. He's just Greek.
Yeah but I don't think
Spiros.
Some chests are just too hairy.
Some chests are just too hairy.
Like I think it's okay to be sporadic
I got it. Yeah, but I don't think Spiros Some chests are too hairy Some chests are just too hairy
Like I think it's okay to be sporadic chest
But when you, like Robin Williams
For example, you don't want that level of hairy chest
He looks like Jack Link Sasquatch guy
I think there's also a chance
That this guy is just on steroids
And that he said that he's putting Rogaine on his face
Because he's realized that
His whole body is becoming formed
Yeah, it can make you grow hair
Not that I've ever taken him
Thank you. and that he said that he's putting Rogaine on his face because he's realized that his whole body is becoming formed.
Does steroids make you grow hair? Yeah, it can make you grow hair. Not that I've ever taken them.
The more you know. The more you know.
Check out his back. If there's acne all over the back, that's a telltale sign.
But I think some girls actually like... Stroma fastball, see how far he hits.
Some ladies actually like acne. Yeah.
Because they like to pop it. Yeah.
That's true. Yeah.
Which is bizarre to me. What's up, boys my bf won't my boyfriend won't cuddle with me when we're sleeping because he says he runs hot and gets too sweaty yep is that just an excuse to not snuggle me or do guys actually run no i run hot yes i run hot i run real hot i have i put at like nine minutes cuddle time tops i'll hold hands all night yeah but i will not cuddle yeah i'm i'm a big big hot sleeper i in fact most of the time i just kick the blanket off i'm i'm separate blankets in my house because i run so hot what's your perfect cuddle uh getting spooned you like little who doesn't like being little spoon i like so you're laying there one leg over one of my legs and then head gently oh you feel like a masculine man you're just there, one leg over one of my legs, and then head gently.
Oh, you feel like a masculine man. You're just like, I am laying here.
Yeah, this is my house. I put this all together.
He's the bad guy. I'm the strong man.
I like that. He's the strong man now.
I like that, especially when you're not making an effort to reciprocate the cuddle at all. When, like you're doing, you've got your hands behind your head and the world is yours.
You might transition to a lovely little blue job. She's got her arms around me.
And then when I'm Big Spoon and I do the thing where one leg in between your two legs and then wrap around fully and then once I start to get a surprise boner, I turn away and I kick the blanket off and I go to sleep. Yeah, I can't stand doing Big Spoon because then it's inevitable that I get a boner.
Yeah. And you feel bad because sometimes you get that boner.
No matter who it is. And you don't.
It's not a I want to have sex boner. It's just like contact.
God is telling me that in this circumstance, I should have one and I don't mean to be impolite. So I'll show myself out.
It's like thinking about a pickle. You just want a pickle.
Yeah. Right.
You can do it. I'm a hundred for a pickle.
Right. You hear the word pickle, you automatically want one.
It's like yawning. Guys are like that, too, with their boners, where one guy gets a boner in a room, everyone else gets one.
That's been my experience. Hey, boys, especially Blackout Bubba.
I'm a guy who wears a beard constantly and doesn't ever fully shave, because i do i look like the old guy from eight crazy nights so my question is why the fuck would chaps do the same thing to himself yeah it's um it's confusing well i got boris big you got boris that has happened to me where you go into a barbershop and you just kind of like once they start you're fucked when i sat down and he was like we'll do a trim yeah and i sat there and he's like actually you should do a full straight race and i was like yeah i should do a full straight race then he pulled it out it wasn't even like a real discussion like we'll do a full straight you'll love it you know what this day was missing was a hairy eastern european guy holding a razor blade to my jugular. You know what, Boris? You make a good point.
I've run into that situation in a place that was obviously a front for the mob where the guy had no idea how to cut hair, and he was genuinely shocked that I went in there. I sat down, and he was like, are we doing this? I was like, yeah.
And then about two seconds of the haircut, it became very clear he had no idea how to cut hair but again once you're in the chair you can't move yeah no it would be rude for me to leave so i let him finish a shitty haircut and then i got out of there i was like that was a big i did not read all the signs when i was coming in yes when i started my day yesterday i did not feel like an old russian man was going to say this sentence to me that's that's the beauty of it. Do you want me to cream you? Say it again.
Do you want me to cream you? He creams me good. He creamed the fuck out of you.
You got creamed. I got creamed.
We'd love to clap your cheeks today. You look very good with no beer.
What does your wife say? No. There were rumors that she hung up on facetime oh no her direct quote was you make me want to puke yeah i'll say i just went to go with the beard yeah that's the other thing that's the most embarrassing one when you go to stroke your beard there's no longer beard that's even worse than i've done it before too where i go to push up my glasses and i'm not wearing my glasses yeah that one's a i've had a mustache like you obviously have a beard too but i've had a mustache for like three four years now and every time the last time i did it it was just weird you can't do that you can't get rid of it no it's just it becomes like a that's a grown man's teddy bear yes yeah you feel like My beard, I feel like Linus without his blanket.
Damn.
Yeah.
You look like Charlie Brown.
You do.
Yeah.
You look like Charlie Brown grew up, became an accountant, and gave up on life.
I look like Charlie Brown who has a very terrible illness.
And no doctors can't figure out who it is.
No, no.
They named it after it.
So I'm going to be Charlie Brown featured on the show. Yes.
yes, yes. Sup, boys, especially Sports Biz Jake.
I'm in college, and my roommate brought back a boy from the bar last weekend, Halloween weekend, who was dressed as PFT. He walked all around our house saying sup and that Leroy has breaking news.
When he asked someone what the breaking news was, he said, someone is going to pound town. Oh, nice.
I went oh nice which bad not knowing what happened the next morning i woke up to a dm from this saying sup i left my wig at your house can i come by tonight and pick it up what do we do uh go back to pound yeah you go back to this guy sounds insanely cool and good looking so obviously bring him back to get his wig back i'm saying i'm what about if he went with breaking moves i'm about to come yeah he started mooing every time he came yeah that'd be good be hot bitch i'm a cow hey pmt boys especially slim cat so question why is it that guys always want to avoid a serious conversation is it because they simply don't care or they know that their girlfriend has an agenda and they don't want to be called out on their bullshit? I need answers. Serious conversations are scary.
They're good to have once every year. If you have one serious conversation a year, then you feel like a man, you feel like you're in charge of yourself.
The rest, we're just looking for short-term stimulus. That's it.
It's also one of those things where serious conversations like they need to be planned way ahead of time because if they pop up you're like i can't do this right now you need to introduce a serious conversation when the person that you've had it with has had two and a half glasses of red wine that's the perfect conversation and it's got to really ease into it yeah can't just spring it on them yeah Yeah, because we're just stupid. And you've got to start it by leaning back, crossing your one leg over the other.
Can I ask you something? Yeah, don't look him in the eye. We need to talk.
Yeah, because you don't want... That's a tough one.
No, no, don't do we need to talk. No, that's terrible.
We need to talk is the worst. Well, Chap's body language that he was describing, that to me was describing the we need to talk.
But don't say we need to talk. Do not say that.
I would say my biggest pet peeve with a relationship with anybody is, hey, do you have time to talk tomorrow? Yeah. Just don't.
Just say it now. Why? Or give me a call.
The text saying, give me a call. You call me.
I hate that. I hate it.
Because it's like, what? Like, and you're like, okay, is it urgent? What the fuck? Just text me what's happening. Dude, give me a call.
It's tougher. We need to talk about something tomorrow.
Dave does that to me all the time. Yeah.
Not all the time. He's texting me three times.
That's a very easy way to just be like, we're not going to have the conversation. That's scary.
You should start a Slack channel with your husband. Just you and him.
Yeah. Just hammer it all out online.
Yeah. Circle back on that.
Yeah. Just blog at each other.
Start or sit? Co-workers with benefits? Sit. Start for a little.
Depending on how long you want to be at the job. Yes.
I'm going to sit it entirely. Well, my wife and I both work from home, so we kind of are co-workers too.
There you go. That's a good point.
We've been married 10 years. So that works.
Yeah. Works out for us.
Hey, boy, shout out
to DadCat for becoming DadBodCat.
What are y'all's best tip
for I'm having a whore, but I'm definitely
only trying to fuck Tinder account?
What? I'm not a whore, but I'm trying to fuck
We're giving her advice on how to use her
Tinder account. Yeah.
As somebody
who's never used Tinder,
it's going to be difficult for me. She said that she
needs something that screams the good
kind of daddy issues that taught her better.
Okay, so here it is. Make enough money to go
Thank you. Somebody who's never used Tinder.
It's going to be difficult for me. She said that she needs something that screams the good kind of daddy issues that taught her better.
Okay, so here it is.
Make enough money to go on Raya.
That's the one that Biz talks about where it's rich people only.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
I think that one's been compromised, though.
Oh, really?
Yeah, the normies.
Oh, no.
The poor's down to Raya.
Can't we just have one nice thing?
Rudy's in Raya.
There's people in this office that are in Raya.
No, no, no, no.
Who's on it?
Rudy.
One of the camera guys.
So the next one is we don't know about.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we won't find out about it until after it's been compromised. Until Biz has run through the whole thing.
Yeah.
Tell you what.
Ask this question to Biz.
He'll let you know.
Also, just have your profile say, I'm only looking for the Alex to my sophia and then that will send the message across loud and clear all right here's the next one hi big cat my boyfriend of seven months today is a huge fan of you guys and your podcast in fact he's such a big fan that he makes me sit and listen to hours of your podcast and youtube clips half the time i don't even know what you guys are talking about and I'm forced to sit there and fake laugh. No offense to you guys.
Damn. At times, we'll just be sitting there talking and he bursts out laughing and says, oh, it's nothing.
It's just something Big Cat said. How do I make him love me more than you guys think? Damn.
I mean, the easy answer is just start dressing like me. Yeah.
It's true. It seemed to work for the other guys.
Yeah, Poundtown. That's Poundtown.
Dress like me and then say breaking moves, we're going to Poundtown. No, I think the advice we always give with this is you just need to start learning sports more than him.
Yeah. And then correcting his sports takes, and then he'd be like, you know what, I don't like sports anymore.
Just beat him to it. Yeah.
Hey, BMT boys, my boyfriend has taken a laxative three Sunday nights in a row to, quote, get a rush start to the week. Is this normal or should I be concerned? That's smart.
To flush out your weekend. Yeah.
Get the spirits out of there. That's really smart.
I like that. I've never taken a laxative.
I'm going to do that. I've never taken a laxative.
Because when you take your laxative on Sunday night, presumably it's out of your system by Monday and that's naturally when
the shits would start to hit me, would be
Monday morning. Right.
After like a long
day of drinking beers and eating chicken wings and watching
like football. So I think this guy's
just an innovator. Also, our side bet
that we have with the Wizards Spurs,
that's kind of like my get right day. I've been
doing awesome. Oh, because you ate a half
pound of cheese because the Wizards
come to spread. I'm like a stopped up dam.
Chaps, thank you as always. ZeroBlog30.
You look beautiful. You're a good friend.
We still love you. Thank you.
And I'm sorry that my Nats are going to kick the Astros' ass tonight, Wednesday night. This is all going to suck for you when the Astros win tonight.
I'm not going to have Bapit. I forgot about it.
Yeah. Any last words? Yeah, we have on ZBT.
Can I tell you what we have? Okay, just to end it. Yeah, go ahead.
Say it. All right.
So love you guys. Matt, a speech writer is going to be on the show today.
And it was really interesting. It's making waves, all kinds of different stuff.
So it's going to be a good interview there. So make sure you download and subscribe to Zero Block 30.
We also have a YouTube account, Zero Block 30, on YouTube. You search Zero Block 30 Podcast on YouTube.
You smash that subscribe button, and you'll see all different types of content. With me, Kate, Cons, we're all going to be there.
Everybody, we have old interviews about Rob O'Neill who killed in Laud.
We have new ones with, like, Speaker of the House, John Boehner.
It's incredible shit.
Everybody who loves sports also loves talking politics and military.
I got the lemon pepper, and I got the teriyaki barbecue, I think.
All right.
I'll be back after the next time I have a terrible ailment. I don't know what to say or say it anyway.
Today is my day to find you shining away. I'm coming for your love of grace.
Shining away. I'm coming for your love's grace Don't be only Don't be only Don't be only Don't be only Thank you.
I need less to say Once again It's about to be Some let away
Some have learned
The part is okay
Stay up for me
Life's no better
To be safe than something
Stay up for me
Life's no better
To be safe than something
Stay up for me
Stay up for me Stay up for me Stay up for me I'll see you next time. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.