CM Punk, Paul Rabil, Week 8 Preview and Picks

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 NFL week eight preview. Two awesome guests.
I think this is a few weeks in a row. We've done two guests Fridays, which is great.

Speaker 1 We have CM Punk Legend and we have Paul Raybo, who we had on Wednesday Breaking Moose.

Speaker 1 We alluded to it, but we have decided the team name, or at least the shortlist, for the expansion team in the PLL. We do a live brainstorm.
He wasn't ready for that. No, he wasn't.

Speaker 1 But I mean, you come on part of my take, you mess with the bully, get the horns. Yeah, he was like, oh, wait, we're doing this right now.
Yeah, fucking A-right, we're doing it right now.

Speaker 1 So we have all that. We have Firefest, we have Fantasy Fuck Boys, and we have some FAQs with a very special guest who just stopped by today.

Speaker 1 Before we get to all of that, the Cash App, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Cash App is the simplest way to send,

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Speaker 1 be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a low-washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't name all of the sounds. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Eli, Shrek Ivenu,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elan Shrek Ivan My Take presented by Barnes

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, October 25th, and Kirk Cousins continues his dominating performances.

Speaker 1 He really pissed me off tonight because I thought for sure that this was going to be the game, that he sucked, that he threw four interceptions. He was due.
It was a triple revenge game. Yep.

Speaker 1 You had Cousins getting revenge against DC. You had Case Keenum getting revenge against Minnesota.
You had Adrian Peterson getting revenge against Minnesota State Police.

Speaker 1 You had everything going on tonight, and Kirk Cousins absolutely lit it up. And now in full disclosure, we actually taped an early show today because we have to pick and choose our spots in October.

Speaker 1 So what we did was

Speaker 1 we actually taped two alternate endings. So a little choose your own adventure.
So whatever you're listening to right now, the Vikings beating the Redskins, that happened.

Speaker 1 If the Redskins beat the Vikings, you'll probably be listening to that right now. But either way, the alternate ending will be at the end of the show.
I'm going to put it in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you get to hear what life would have been like if the opposite had happened. How about Mike Zimmer's face tonight? You talk about a red skin.
This was Swagger Jack and straight up from D.C.

Speaker 1 This is like Mike Shanahan if he fell out in the sun after too many daiquiris. Yes.
So, PFT, I have a question for you. Kirk Cousins.
Yeah. Are we now

Speaker 1 fully buying in? Because this is now a few weeks in a row that the Vikings have looked great.

Speaker 1 And Kirk Cousins, are we saying that a Thursday night night football game against the Redskins is a prime time game?

Speaker 1 It is technically a prime time game, but it is also the two biggest weaknesses of both those sides going up against each other. So I'm not ready to crown Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 I think he's still going to break everyone's heart. It's going to happen eventually.

Speaker 1 Of course. How about my three and a half field goal bet hitting, though? That was huge.
Easy. Easy.
But yeah, Kirk Cousins. I'll remember to do the alternate on that other side.

Speaker 1 Kirk Cousins is a piece of shit, and he's a piece of trash, and he sucks, and he's going to continue to suck. And I am not.
Nothing that he does. That was too harsh.
Nothing that he does.

Speaker 1 you're right it was he's Kirk Cousins he's so lame you're right who cares that was too harsh it's like Kirk Cousins Stanley who cares yeah you know what uh nothing that you do against the Redskins counts towards anything in my record book yeah so but the Vikings now sit at six and two

Speaker 1 and we're going to get a lot of pieces like hey the Vikings remember them are they for real are they for real because they were actually really good two years ago and then they had a very bad year but now it's kind of the same roster we'll get those stories

Speaker 1 and yeah it will be fun to see everyone get their hopes hopes up for Kirk Cousins, only to have them crushed in a big, big moment later on. To be continued, the Kirk Cousins train.

Speaker 1 Okay, other news before we get to the NFL preview. The Washington Nationals, we said it on Wednesday.
It rings true today. They are a team of destiny.
Big time.

Speaker 1 Do you know what's crazy I was thinking about? Now, I've bet on the Nationals both games, and I also have a future on them. So I'm on the bandwagon,

Speaker 1 on the Nats bandwagon. You are wearing a uniform, full kit, wanker, every single game.
So you are propelling them to great heights. I'm driving in that wagon.

Speaker 1 It's crazy to think how good the Nationals have been and how this all basically wouldn't have happened if the Brewers didn't have an error. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, it feels so long ago that that error happened in the wild card game, but that happened. And then Clayton Kershaw, you know,

Speaker 1 played the Clayton Kershaw. And since that moment, the Nationals have not lost, and they just went into Houston and fucking took it to the Astros.
Like, shoved. Shove, shove, shove.

Speaker 1 So we're doing two things. The Nationals are doing two things well this World Series and really this whole postseason.
One, we're shoving. Two, we're raking.
Yep.

Speaker 1 So when you can rake and shove at the same time, that's when you really mix things together and you get a magic moment. Tough to do.
So we're raking, we're shoving, we're twirling.

Speaker 1 We're doing all the small things, too. We're button.
We're getting guys on base. We're hitting, we're getting very lucky with our BAPIP.
Balls and play. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Our BAPIP is off the charts. We're hitting balls to, we're getting infield hits at a rate that hasn't been seen since since the Mike Socialism days of the Anaheim Angels.

Speaker 1 Forcing the Astros to do things they've never done before by intentionally walking guys. Yeah.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 They walked Juan Soto in the World Series, and they haven't issued an intentional walk all year.

Speaker 1 The old saying is in baseball, like momentum is just the next day's starting pitcher. But I don't believe in that because I honestly think the Nationals, what they're doing right now,

Speaker 1 like there is such a thing as momentum in terms of everyone on your team hitting at the same time. And it doesn't really matter who you're playing.

Speaker 1 They just just beat Garrett Cole and Justin Verlander in Houston. Like, that's that.
There's something that's going on with that lineup with the guys where they're just all getting hits.

Speaker 1 They're all seeing it. And it just piles on.
I mean, they jumped on them in that seventh inning. They're playing loose.
They're playing loose.

Speaker 1 They don't have Bryce Harper making everybody all tight and nervous in the clubhouse. Poor Bryce Harper.
Poor Bryce Harper. No, I'm fine.
I'm happy for them. He's definitely watching, right? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's definitely sad. He's hate watching it.
He's throwing out a lot of mother freakers. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's been a great couple nights.
I'm going to try to bring a broom down to the game.

Speaker 1 Bryce Harper and a dad-to-dad moment.

Speaker 1 Bryce Harper's definitely, because after the football weekend I had last weekend, I did the like, let me look into my baby's eyes and realize that there's bigger things in sports.

Speaker 1 Bryce Harper's been doing that all October. Yeah.
He's got a newborn and he's like, you know what? My kid is healthy and he's here. Who needs a world sports?

Speaker 1 It'd be great if he had another kid, like if he got his wife pregnant right now and did like a gender reveal and that whole thing.

Speaker 1 So he went completely off the map away from sports talking about this. I had a crazy idea the other.
This is actually a Nike Wheel idea.

Speaker 1 While I was watching, I was flipping back and forth between like CNN and Nats playoff game at one point.

Speaker 1 And they were talking about like the Trump impeachment, the impending impeachment of Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 If Donald Trump actually thinks that he's going to get impeached, you know what he should do? He should just say that my son Baron misses me very much. And

Speaker 1 he said a prayer, and an angel told him that if the Nationals win the World Series, that I would come back and be his dad again and stop being president. But why? Angels in the Outfield.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's a plot of Angels in the Outfield.

Speaker 1 He should say that that actually happened to him. Got it.
And if he doesn't want to go through the whole impeachment thing, he can just resign and walk

Speaker 1 and to the Nationals. Yeah.
So it truly was a night cool idea. It was a very night cool idea, for sure.

Speaker 1 I think it plays. I think it plays.
Listen, Baron's been missing his dad, his papa. Are you sure?

Speaker 1 I don't know. He's at his football academy.
Oh, really? Yeah, I think he's going to be like the next MLS superstar. Oh, MLS playoffs.
Football Academy. Fuck.

Speaker 1 I didn't prep anything for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just a lot of people. How'd you even know that was happening? Because I always know what's going on if I want to gamble on it.
New York lost last night. Damn.
D.C. lost on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they gave up four goals in extra time. Yeah, the Reds in it.
Wow. Toronto.
That's a lot. Yeah, it was 1-1, and they were like, not done yet.
And then the next update was 5-1.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure the Sounders are probably doing something.
It's probably going to be the Sounders and the Timbers. Yeah, they played 9th Translation.
They're doing something out west.

Speaker 1 Oh, Atlanta is playing Philadelphia. Rivalry game.
Oh, L.A. and L.A.
That is a rivalry game. Yeah.
So that will be great.

Speaker 1 There's two L.A. teams? Yeah.
The football club and then the other L.A. Galaxy club.
The Will Farrells. The Will Farrells and the Tom Cruises.
That's who they are. Tom Cruises is a soccer guy.

Speaker 1 Scientologists. Yeah, you're probably right.
Yeah, he's definitely not a soccer guy. Tom Cruise does not watch sports.
He comes and is like, are you guys watching sports?

Speaker 1 And then starts like throwing a football and hits someone's chandelier.

Speaker 1 I'm like, all right, tom yeah he maybe get out of here dude he's he's he's one of those like remarkable a-list actors that hasn't played a superstar athlete oh whoa whoa

Speaker 1 all the right moves pft what are you saying i didn't watch that one oh an unbelievable movie you're dating yourself no i'm not because that's a great movie tom cruise all the right moves he was playing high school football in uh pennsylvania steel town okay love it also in a great movie an elite volleyball player on top gun True.

Speaker 1 True, true.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do.
So, if you want to watch us, we're at barstoolgold.com/slash PMT. You can watch our interview with CM Punk.
You can watch our interview with Paul Rabel. Those are both coming up.

Speaker 1 We're going to decide the PLL team name in a second. So, barstoolgold.com/slash PMT.

Speaker 1 But before we do that, let's do some weekend preview. Let me jump back to the Nationals real quick.
Okay. Because Fernando Rodney is absolutely

Speaker 1 lighting it up out of the bullpen.

Speaker 1 His bow and arrow celebration is giving me life.

Speaker 1 I'm really enjoying that. You were trying to talk me out of supporting Fernando Rodney.
No,

Speaker 1 listen, the arrow plays. He does it all the time.
He does it whether he had a good outing, bad outing. There's sad arrows.

Speaker 1 He just, if he's in an important game, he is a white flag.

Speaker 1 He was up when they were 12. It was like 12 to 3.

Speaker 1 I also think it'd be hilarious if the Nationals somehow stumbled their way in ass backwards to figuring out that you don't actually need a bullpen in baseball.

Speaker 1 You can just put your starting pitchers in to be your bullpen the entire time.

Speaker 1 And you don't actually need three days' rest or four days' rest. I hate that.
Do a bullpen start. Yeah.
I hate that. Where you have the,

Speaker 1 what do they call it? The opener?

Speaker 1 It's the opener, not the starter. Because the only pitch is two.
It actually makes sense, though, because once you get to the third time around the lineup, don't care. All right.

Speaker 1 You look at some fucking analytics one time. Nope.
Come on, hey. All right.
Let's do some. What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

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Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 preview. Should I start with my can't lose parlay? Because it cannot lose.
Yeah. It cannot lose.
How did your one last week do? It lost. Okay.
But this one cannot lose. Were you close?

Speaker 1 No, but this one cannot lose. I've looked it up and down, left and right.
Here's what I've been doing wrong. Too many games in too many time slots.
So I need to, or no, double games in one time slot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Where it gets confusing.
So I've spaced it out here. I've spaced it out so we can just deal with one problem at a time.

Speaker 1 You don't like that. I like dealing with two problems at a time sometimes when it comes to gambling.
Also, I like it.

Speaker 1 I think everything I just said is wrong.

Speaker 1 I think everything I just said is wrong because the first two games are actually during the one o'clock sleep. Okay, so cancel everything I said.
Here's the can't-lose parlay. The Rams.

Speaker 1 They're not going to lose to the Bengals. No.
That's easy. That's easy money right now.
Hank, they're not going to lose the Banks.

Speaker 1 master-student relationship between McVay and the guy that coaches the Bengals. Yes, Taylor.

Speaker 1 I know exactly Taylor. With no K, yeah, weirdo.
Okay, the Bengals or the Rams are not going to lose the Bengals. Yes, it's in London, but I don't care.
The Rams are not going to lose to the Bengals.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit, it's in London. Jeffrey Gulf.
They might lose. No, they're not going to lose.
They have to travel so far east. They stayed in Atlanta.
Okay. Yeah, a little extra.
See?

Speaker 1 I think about the can't lose part. Yeah, but you use your little

Speaker 1 logic when the Raiders went there. It's like once you're gone for more than a week.
Listen,

Speaker 1 that was a mistake, and I screwed that up. And a material change.
And a material change. The Knicks can't lose parlay team.
The Seahawks are not going to lose to the Falcons. Nope.

Speaker 1 Hank, you think the Falcons are going to beat the Seahawks?

Speaker 1 No chance. Where are they playing? Matt Ryan might not even play in Atlanta.
I don't care. Matt Schaub.
That's fine. I don't even see that one.
So you got six.

Speaker 1 It was minus three, minus three and a half. So this parlay, Moneyline Parlay, pays a little over even money.
So it's like plus 110 or so. Now, did the Falcons stay in Atlanta this week?

Speaker 1 The Falcons did not because they've been run out of town. Okay, so

Speaker 1 they were loser-left town. They went to London.
Okay, then my last one. So you can.
Wait, I actually didn't. Would I do the right teams? No, I didn't.
Wait. Uh-oh.
Hold on. The can't-lose parlay.

Speaker 1 Cancel the Seahawks. Has already lost.
Cancel the Seahawks on the house. The Seahawks are not on the can't-lose.
So thank you, Hank. You're welcome.
Say it again.

Speaker 1 Don't put the Seahawks on that. Don't put the Seahawks on that.
You know what? You're right, Hank. I'm not going to.
The Colts.

Speaker 1 The Colts are my second part of this can't-lose parlay. Well, it's not.
I'm not even being offered something. The Colts are at home against the Broncos.
They are not going to lose. Love that, Pat.

Speaker 1 Not going to lose. Okay, swag the revenge, though.
That's fine. The Rams, Colts, and then finally,

Speaker 1 the Packers. The Packers are not going to lose to Matt Moore.

Speaker 1 Let's launch from the can't-lose parlay. Let's launch off to this discussion, BFT.

Speaker 1 What, Hank? Go ahead, say it. The Packers are going to win that game yet.
No, they aren't.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers is starting to do the Aaron Rodgers thing where he's going to be the best player in football for a while. I can feel it.

Speaker 1 The wins are changing, and then they'll lose in horrific fashion in the playoffs, and it'll be the best day of the bear season.

Speaker 1 Let's all remember, though, that the game last week was against the Raiders. That's fine.
It was the Raiders. They ruined the can't-lose parlay on multiple games.
I say again, the Raiders. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 the Packers at the Chiefs. Are the Chiefs actually going to play Patrick Mahomes? Because that'd be the dumbest thing.

Speaker 1 If Andy Reid plays Patrick Mahomes, this will go down as as the dumbest decision that he's ever made in a career that's been largely defined by singular dumb decisions that he's made during games.

Speaker 1 Insane. And it seems like it actually could possibly happen.
I think

Speaker 1 he's practicing. Why would you practice if you weren't going to play? I don't know.
With that injury. I don't know.
But either way, that is one of the dumbest things ever.

Speaker 1 I think they're just playing a little rope of dope where they're trying to keep the Packers on edge.

Speaker 1 Because if you play Patrick Mahomes, especially given the fact that the Raiders just lost last week, the Chargers are done, the Broncos are done.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs should not be thinking about anything besides just getting healthy and winning that West, which they can do probably with nine wins.

Speaker 1 They're not going to get home field throughout the playoffs. Doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. You might as well let that go.
The Patriots have that on lockdown until Tom Brady leaves New England and goes to Kansas City next year.

Speaker 1 We'll get to that later, Hank, about his plans on leaving town.

Speaker 1 And they probably can get the two-seed and have a buy just by winning a bunch in November and December. This doesn't ultimately matter because when it comes down to it,

Speaker 1 the other best team, not named the Bills, because the Bills obviously can't get a buy, is the Ravens. They beat him head-to-head.

Speaker 1 But is there enough tape on Matt Moore out there? Do the Packers know how to defend this Matt Moore? Yes, I would say so. Is there? I think there is enough tape.
There's enough tape on Matt Moore.

Speaker 1 I don't know, because Matt Moore came in and performed admirably. He performed.
He performed matribly. He performed.

Speaker 1 He threw one touchdown pass, which I think he was trying to throw away, but Tyreek Hill's so fast fast that he caught it. Yeah, that's what's great about Matt Moore.

Speaker 1 You never, it's tough to defend against a guy if you're preparing for Patrick Mahomes, a guy that looks away and throws passes. Matt Moore stares down every single pass.

Speaker 1 So it's like you have to pick one guy or the other to prep for. Maybe they'll prep for Mahomes, and then they'll get stuck with Matt Moore.
Yes. Okay, so

Speaker 1 that's what can't lose parlay. Rams, Colts, Packers, take it.

Speaker 1 It cannot lose this week. I'm telling you, it cannot lose this week.
It mustn't. It cannot lose.
If it loses, I'm so fucked. I take it every week.
Also, if you're fighting for it, feel it spicy.

Speaker 1 The parlay plus, tossing the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 Do it. It's parlay plus.
Do it. I'm going to do that.
Or if you really want to plus it up, toss in the Falcons. No, shut up, Hank.
Okay, so let's do.

Speaker 1 Before we do our picks, I have a couple games I wanted to touch on, TFT. We do have a Loser Leaves Town game.

Speaker 1 The Giants and the Lions? Nope. The Giants are already lost.
No, no, they're in it.

Speaker 1 My Loser Leaves Town was Raiders-Texans. I think the Raiders have left town.

Speaker 1 They're on their way to Las Vegas. They're literally leaving town.

Speaker 1 The Raiders and Texans, both. The Raiders are 3-3.

Speaker 1 Texans are 4-3. Yep.
I feel like the loser leaves town in this game. Okay.
Well,

Speaker 1 sure. I think

Speaker 1 the Raiders and the Texans. The Texans are going to stomp the shit out of them.
We'll see.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Raiders have won weird games. Right? They've won weird games.
They have won weird games. They went and won in Indianapolis and beat the Bears, right? They've won weird games.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I think you're definitely overvaluing the Raiders because they beat the Bears. Ask Hank, Hank, Derek Carr isn't an idiot.
That game changes. They beat the Packers probably.
Easily.

Speaker 1 In that first half touchdown, Derek Carr is done. He is done.
John Gruden. That was a 14-point swing.
I just hope that he gets another touchback. I hope it continues to happen to him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you know, John Gruden has sat him down and showed him the last time he did that. I was like, don't ever do this again.
And then he did it again. A little tip.

Speaker 1 I was watching Monday Night Football and the Patriots running back, I forget if it was Michelle or if it was

Speaker 1 White, but he was reaching, he was like diving towards the end zone. And you know how Bill tells his players, don't reach out for the goal line because you might commit a touchback?

Speaker 1 He like started to reach out, and in midair, you could see Bill Belichick's face just on his shoulder be like, put that fucking ball away. Get it away.

Speaker 1 And he just tucked it like right back in and went out at the one-inch line.

Speaker 1 It was beautiful to watch. Okay.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it is the difference between winning and losing teams. Yeah.
All right. The other one I wanted to touch on, I do have an Are We we sure they're good game.
I do too. Okay, what's yours?

Speaker 1 I've got the Panthers and the Niners.

Speaker 1 Interesting. And the Eagles and the Bills.
Okay, well, I have something special for the Eagles and Bills.

Speaker 1 My are we sure they're a good game is Cardinals, Saints, because if the Saints are very, very good, they'll stomp them.

Speaker 1 And if the Cardinals are good, which they're not, they would maybe keep it close. Yeah, but we don't...
We're not sure that we're not sure that the Cardinals are good right now.

Speaker 1 The Cardinals could be good, but they also

Speaker 1 that we're not sure. You're right.
So I don't think that this is a are we sure they're a good game yet. Oh, you're saying they're not good.

Speaker 1 They're not good enough to be unsure on whether or not they're good. They've beaten terrible teams, but they've won three in a row.
That's true. Who have they beaten?

Speaker 1 They've beaten the worst giant in the world.

Speaker 1 Bengals. Yeesh.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like your Panthers 49ers pick. I don't know why, but I feel like there are more teams than usual that have just played a lot of shitty other teams.
Because there's a lot of shitty other teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got the Bills, you got the Patriots, and you got the Cardinals that are all just feasting against crap teams. I like like the Panthers 49ers pick, though, for Are We Sure They're Good?

Speaker 1 I'm convinced the 49ers are good, but it will be interesting to see what the Panthers do in this game. We do respect the 49ers on this podcast.
Big moment of respect. Yep.

Speaker 1 Matchup of two of our favorite tight ends: Greg Olson and George Kittle. Passing of the torch.
Yes. They should play for the, like, they should swap names.
That would actually be cool.

Speaker 1 I thought Greg Olson retired for a second when I saw him on TV last week. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. No, it was a bye week.
Yeah. George Olson and Greg Kittle.
Greg Kittle, actually, is Greg Kittle.

Speaker 1 No offense, George, but Greg is whatever. Yeah, G.
Kitts. George is such a weird name.
Like, you just say George. I had a cat.
You don't think it's George? I had a cat named George.

Speaker 1 Nobody knew his name George. Yeah.
Besides tight ends from Iowa. But like George.
Like, you ever think about, like, if you walked up. George Kittle is not George.
Georgie. Hey, George.

Speaker 1 What do you think they call him? I don't know. Gee.
G Kitts? Kit.

Speaker 1 What's up, Kits? But, like, think about it. He's he's an unbelievable tight end who loves wrestling and is a really fun guy.
And you're like, George? Yeah. No,

Speaker 1 you can't go by George. No.
Change your name, George. Pay money.
George.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so how about Greg Olson being up in the booth though, and he's like doing prep work before the games, talking to coaches?

Speaker 1 I would not say a word to Greg Olson if he came in my locker room. That was a big controversy last year.

Speaker 1 This year, they made sure that they gave him a game where he wasn't playing either team. Okay.
So that was made sure until the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Until the Giants and Cardinals both make the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Okay, my other game I wanted to talk about, it's a new one. It's a line in the sand game, PFT.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Line in the sand game, Eagles Bills.

Speaker 1 The Eagles

Speaker 1 are going to either be an absolute dumpster fire after this game or their season is rejuvenated and they might actually make a run to the playoffs.

Speaker 1 This is the line in the sand game because they are, if you read the quotes around the Eagles locker room, it feels like one of those games, and you could actually throw the Bears in this mix, where where the players are like, We got to do something, and if they don't do it now, it's just like, All right, fuck it, we suck.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 I, I've, for some reason, the Eagles have six of these games every year, yes, where it's this is the game that will put them on the right track, but then they usually lose one of those games, and then they get another one later, and they end up being good, making the wild cards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think this is this is the, it's not lying in the sand, it's like uh, in old Roman times, Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is crossing the Scheichel, yes, crossing the Scheichel River This is Mafia. This is it.
This is it. You're going to cross the Delaware River, maybe.
Or you're going to sink.

Speaker 1 Or you're going to sink. There's no turning back.
Which one will you be, Eagles? And then next week we'll give you another shot at you. Yeah, I think the Bills are going to win that game.

Speaker 1 I think so, too.

Speaker 1 Did you see the Bills in very Bills Mafia since they have the Bills organization lighting off fireworks to signal when Bills Mafia should start heading towards the gate to go into the game? That's it.

Speaker 1 At noon. So we're in Buffalo now.
Clocks are out. They're just going to explode some shit at the time that you should start walking towards the stadium.
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 It's like an old church bell telling people to come in in medieval times and pray. It's like, hey guys, time to put down the beard.
They should actually do one, like a warning shot.

Speaker 1 The first time you send off the fireworks should actually be 10 minutes before you really should. Yeah.
And then people will start to make their way there.

Speaker 1 And then the second one, that's the real one. Well, it's genius because I would say 80% of Bill's mafia will be so drunk that then when they see the fireworks, they're like, fuck, did we just score?

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. And they'll start running in.
Yeah. This is the Kiko Alonso Bowl.
Oh. So

Speaker 1 first set of fireworks, take your jersey off and find a young lady who would like a Kiko Alonso jersey. Get flated.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do some picks. Hank, how are you doing with your underdog challenge? I think this might be the weekend.
I flip it and reverse it, put my hands down, flip it and reverse it.

Speaker 1 We have to see what you see

Speaker 1 And just go all favorites. I don't know.
I just don't, I don't, I don't love it this week. So for people who don't know what that is.
I did do that great. I did it for the last four weekends.

Speaker 1 I've bet every single Money Dog.

Speaker 1 Money Line Underdog. Money Line Underdog, except for the Patriots and a couple of the Dolphins games.
I like Money Dog, though. Money Dog Underlines.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'm going to do it. You're not Hank though.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do it this week. Definitely not stunned.
But what Hank did was he took his system and he moved it to the NBA. Yeah.
So he's doing that same system for the NBA now.

Speaker 1 it's actually fun to get because this happens every now and then where you get like addicted to unders or addicted to you know underdogs you are addicted to money lines and it's sharp it is sharp this year i have a staff for you hank this is not going to keep up but underdogs are 59 44 and 2 against the spread that's insane and road teams are 64 38 and 2 right so we've talked about sunday bloody sunday coming i think that could come this weekend and i want to be on the right side of it so i'm just going to flip it and just take all the favorites

Speaker 1 i don't i'm not i'm not going on the record as doing that yet, but stay tuned. Hold until Hank lights the fireworks.
It's time to ask, though, has Vegas just gotten shitty?

Speaker 1 Or are there

Speaker 1 Vegas lost a step? Yes, they did. All right, Hank, your favorite? The Colts.
Oh, in the money line parlay. Yeah.
Broncos. Broncos are bad.
Very bad. Flacco's bad.
No, Emmanuel Sanders. Colts are bad.

Speaker 1 True. True.
Oh, fun fact. Did you guys see the thing going around about Jack Del Rio when he said when the draft came around, John Elway looked at Russell Wilson and

Speaker 1 he checked every box except height. So he passed.
You think? Damn, that sucks. Who did they draft that year?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe not even a quarterback.
Probably not.

Speaker 1 PFT, your favorite? My favorite this week is going to be the Saints. Saints over the Cardinals.
Drew Brees? Yeah, Drew Brees might be back. I don't really care if Drew Brees is back or not.

Speaker 1 It's worse if he is. I don't know if he's going to be back, but I will take them anyways.
This is the Catholic Church battle going on between the Saints and the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 So I need the Pope to weigh in on Sunday morning. Let me know who to bet on.
Just give me just one last little nudge over the edge, but I'm very, very confident that I'm going to bet on the Saints.

Speaker 1 Can I just say, you know what? The Pope really let me down. Because if the Pope had any sense of the moment, he would be giving out a funny pick every Sunday morning.
And people would be going crazy.

Speaker 1 The Pope would go bye-bye. But then, what if you hated the Pope? What if there's people out there with a lot of ill-will towards the Pope? Who hates the Pope? Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Who could hate the Catholic Church? Because of his bad picks. Damn.
What would they ever do? That would be the worst thing the Catholic Church has ever done if the Pope gave out a loser.

Speaker 1 If the Pope lost money? Yeah. Damn.
That would suck. Is there no integrity anymore? Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take my favorite, and you guys are going to say that this is bullshit that I'm taking, but I think the Bears are going to kill the Chargers. I do.

Speaker 1 I do, because I think the Bears, this is a perfect game for the Bears because the Chargers' offensive line's terrible.

Speaker 1 The Bears are going to feast, and I'm going to get sucked back in for them to then suck later on. But this is one of those games where they win, and everyone's like, the Bears are back, including me.

Speaker 1 They're not, but they're going to win this game. What you're describing is your own personal Kirk Cousins.
Correct. Yeah, okay.
But I know, I can see it all. Like, I see it all in front of me.

Speaker 1 That doesn't mean I won't get duped, but I see it all in front of me. They will win this game easily because the Chargers' offense has problems.
Their offensive line has problems.

Speaker 1 The Chargers are a soft football team. The Bears' defense will show up

Speaker 1 because there's been a lot of questions like,

Speaker 1 we know the Bears' offense sucks, but is the defense now overrated? They'll fucking show up for that. Here's a little fun stat.

Speaker 1 The Broncos took Brock Osweiler at 57 in the same draft that the Seahawks took Russ at 88. Okay, well, both have a Super Bowl.
So there you go. That's true.
Yeah, one to one.

Speaker 1 Also, who's been paid more? That would be an interesting stat to actually see now, but for a while.

Speaker 1 Well, no, he's guaranteed more, but Brock might have been, he might still be ahead in career earnings. Yeah.
Like in his bank account. That's true.
He's probably also had more sex.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, go ahead. Oh.

Speaker 1 Hank's really high when we're doing this show right now. I gave Hank a special brownie.
I said make sure you're recording. Have you not been recording? No, I haven't.
I have been.

Speaker 1 I gave him a special brownie

Speaker 1 two hours ago. Told him, just as a thing, like, hey, this will be nice for you to take before you go to bed one night.

Speaker 1 That's not what you said. Popped it right in his mouth.
That's not what you said. I honestly forgot we were recording so early, but you were like, here, I got you a brownie.

Speaker 1 I was like, great, I ate it, and then whatever. But that's not, that's my bad.

Speaker 1 Podcasting while high. Hank Lockwood.

Speaker 1 Podcasting. Let this be a warning to all you youngsters out there that think drugs are cool.
Yeah. It's your fault.
Once again, PFD's influence is borderline to achieve. You are a drug dealer.

Speaker 1 I am a drug dealer. I'm a drug chef.
Yeah. Okay, Hank, your underdog.
Chiefs. What do you think...
My question for you is, what do you think the line would be if Mahomes was playing?

Speaker 1 It would probably be,

Speaker 1 well, injured as he is now. Like, if he was.

Speaker 1 Last week, as of last week, where he was at last week. I don't know, Chief's probably minus three.

Speaker 1 He's probably worth seven points.

Speaker 1 I think it's

Speaker 1 worth a little bit less. Andy Reid's a good coach.
I think they're going to win outright. Okay.
Okay. All right.
Interesting. Wrong.

Speaker 1 Is that it for you? Wrong. No, yeah, this is underdog.
You're underdog. Are you.
Did you have any brownies? No, I haven't had a single brownie. Mexican standoff who's high.

Speaker 1 I haven't touched a a single brownie. Okay, PFT, you're underdog.
My underdog. That's my fault.

Speaker 1 I need to hand walk you guys through. You're not doing a very good job at directing traffic right now.
Yeah, it's really hard to be like, Hank, you're underdog and knowing you go next.

Speaker 1 There's definitely something about being around somebody that's high that makes you feel like you're high. Yeah, for sure.
Constantly. Because you're not on the same wavelength.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 My underdog. Are we doing down-unders, Hank?

Speaker 1 We should do down-unders again at some point. Sure.
My underdog is Jets at Jacksonville. So I like the Jets.
I like six and a half. You like Sam Darnold?

Speaker 1 I like Sam Darnold's not going to see ghosts down in Florida this week.

Speaker 1 I checked the humidity. Too much humidity for ghosts.
I'm loving it. Jaguars fans actually should dress up as ghosts.
Yes. That would be fucking funny, wouldn't it? Yes.

Speaker 1 Wear sheets to the game.

Speaker 1 Well, we could probably... Check your grandfather's closet.
Deep enough. Jacksonville.

Speaker 1 All right, my underdog is going to be the Giants plus 6.5. I'm buying as low as possible on them.
Also, the Lions.

Speaker 1 Here's a little tip. Whenever your team trades a team captain mid-season, that's not good.

Speaker 1 So the Lions traded Quandre Diggs, and they had the classic every guy on the team react on Twitter and be like, what the fuck? Sounds like Matt Patricia really has the pulse of that lock.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Darius Slay was not happy. So I think the Giants are going to be pretty live underdog there.
I like that pick. Over.

Speaker 1 My OVA, down over,

Speaker 1 is 41 Bears.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
I also.

Speaker 1 The Bears are the only offense in the NFL who have not had a 300-yard game yet. But the Saints over was the easiest over of all time.
True. Using that logic and approving this game.
True.

Speaker 1 Remembering what you did last week. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just don't see Phillip Rivers being able to throw a pass longer than 25 yards, though.
Also true. That's neither quarterback.
Yeah. It's not a

Speaker 1 passing game. It's a perfect matchup.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My over is Denver and Indy, 43.

Speaker 1 That number is just way too low. Yeah.
And as I said, it's a Swag Kelly Revenge game. Yes.
The The Peyton Manning Bowl. All right, I'll take over Raiders, Texans, over 51.5.

Speaker 1 I think that one's going to be a shootout. That one's going to get out of hand.
Both those teams are horses, too. The Broncos and the Colts.
That's wild. Got the horses in back.
That's wild.

Speaker 1 Hank, you're under to finish it off. The Patriots, Jarvis Landry, gave both important material, even though it wasn't really a guarantee.

Speaker 1 It doesn't really matter because whether or not the context of what he said, the Patriots players and coaches saw the quotes on Twitter being like, Jarvis Landry guaranteed a victory against the Patriots.

Speaker 1 That's all they need. Yeah, so he said, we're going there to win, which is essentially saying

Speaker 1 you're playing to win the game. You want to win when you play.
How dare he? How dare he? But then it became Jarvis Landry guaranteed a win against the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Then he trended on Twitter and the rest is history. Right, that's all you really need if you're the Patriots.
You just need the quote.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter if it's true or not, but if the quote is there, you can take that and use it. Correct.
I like how the blame and shame media works both ways to motivate the Patriots.

Speaker 1 So if the blame and shame media blames and shames a Patriot, it becomes fuel on the fire for that week and bulletin board material.

Speaker 1 And when they blame and shame somebody else, then boom, that's also bulletin board material for the Patriots. Do you think that the Patriots actually have a bulletin board?

Speaker 1 What percentage of NFL teams use a bulletin board?

Speaker 1 I think they do. I'll bet Ernie Adams.

Speaker 1 Tom Coughlin has one. Yeah, Ernie Adams' entire office.
You know how some people have like the chalkboard paint on their walls? It's just bulletin board material, like on every single wall.

Speaker 1 Patricia has a bulletin board. Yeah, for sure.
His scooter was probably made out of bulletin board. He just, yeah, that weird, weird, whatever, that corkboard.
Corkboard, yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, a little fun fact for you, Hank. Ready for this?

Speaker 1 The Patriots, if you are someone who likes to tease,

Speaker 1 tease the Patriots and the under

Speaker 1 every single time this year. 7-0.

Speaker 1 7-0. Okay.
So just a little fun fact for everyone out there. Can we do a fun fact? I'll explain it to Hank quickly because I've been in the gambling game for like five, six years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, THC gets out of your side. I've been about 28 days.
I never learned about teasers, and I feel like I'm too late in the game to understand what they are.

Speaker 1 So teasers, when you tease, you're only teasing yourself. Yep.
Because you get to move the line six to seven points, depending on what your book is. And I think at Bet MGM, it's six.

Speaker 1 So you get to move the line, but you have to win both games.

Speaker 1 So you could, if you were doing it for the Patriots game, the Patriots, you could move the Patriots would be minus seven, and the over-under would be 52. So you do under 52, Patriots minus seven.

Speaker 1 You have to win both. And then you're contractually obligated to say, so-and-so ruined my teaser.
Right. No one's ever won a teaser.
That's another fun fact.

Speaker 1 It's just that people complain about losing them because they seem like such an easy bet. Right.

Speaker 1 And the only times you really should tease is when you are teasing plus one and a half, plus two, plus two and a half, because then you're going across double football numbers.

Speaker 1 So you're going past three, four, and seven. You know what I might do? I might just tease everything this weekend.
Just make it an edging weekend for myself.

Speaker 1 Just tease myself until I can't stand anymore. Listen.
I'm going to do some teasing this weekend. A teaser is fun.

Speaker 1 You never win, but it is fun because you think to yourself, wow, like the 49ers, I could tease them to zero or plus and a half.

Speaker 1 They won't lose. You know what? I'm going to do the big T's right now.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Lay it on me. Let's do it.
Six points. Big T's.
Wait, wait, let's finish the unders and then do the big T's. All right, so I'll do the Panthers 49ers under 42.

Speaker 1 I think both teams are just going going to run the ball.

Speaker 1 You're under. Run the ball, run the ball, run the ball.
Pump the ball. My under is going to be the Giants at the Lions, 49.5.
Okay. As we discovered last week, Daniel Jones does suck.
Yes. So

Speaker 1 I think the Lions defense is going to come out swinging. All right.
Big T's, PFT. Okay, let's see.
Let's do it together. Let's everyone throw in a tease piece and we'll have a PMT tease.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm trying to do it. The PM tease.

Speaker 1 All right, so everyone throw in one tease piece, and that will be. So we're giving you winners left and right.
It's actually insane.

Speaker 1 insane the teasers and the the uh money line parlay the can't lose money line parlay uh okay i have my tease piece i have my portion of the tease piece okay go for it i'm gonna i'm gonna tease the bucks plus two and a half to plus eight and a half bucks two and a half to plus eight and a half that's one piece of our teaser okay i'm going to take hang on hank you want to go first

Speaker 1 squinting he's high he just learned what teasers are this may not high yeah right This is a high guy. Bucks two and a half to...
I've got seven and a half right here. What?

Speaker 1 The Bucs? Yeah. Are 7.5 right now? The T's I have right now is 10.
Oh, it's plus 1.5 to plus 6.5. I mean, plus 16.
Plus 1.5. Yeah, so I'll take plus 7.5 for the team.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank, your piece of the tease?

Speaker 1 Is Chargers plus 14 right? No.

Speaker 1 Fuck. This is just the worst segment.
You tell me. Tell me.
You give me mine. The Chargers you can tease to nine and a half.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do that. PFTs? I'm very confused.
We'll do the big tease next week. Okay? We'll keep this in.
We'll keep the big teas next week. No, no, no.
We weren't ready for the teases.

Speaker 1 We weren't ready. All right.
Let's get to our interviews before we do that.

Speaker 1 So, BetMGM, like I said, we're going to be live streaming from the office on Sunday in the witching hour. Remember, if you go to BetMGM, it's the home for PMT this football season.

Speaker 1 If you're a new user, sign up with code PMT and make your first deposit of $10 or more and get 12 free $10 bets $120 value so you can bet the board this weekend and get your witching hour insurance okay let's do fancy fuck boys and we'll get to see him punk

Speaker 1 what's up boys it's zudi zucchini

Speaker 1 my stardom is mixer yeah that's right streamers the gamer named shroud join ninja he ditched twitch and join the mixer community oh shit been a degree huge day for neds and mixers i don't know what this is it's also good for varsca you get a nice mixer helps helps it go down pick whitney you get a little club soda yum yum yeah and the club soccer girls team comes over i like

Speaker 1 my sit him is zuck zuckerberg oh

Speaker 1 zuck Guy was on the hill this week. His haircut fucking stinks.
He looks like Caesar. It looks like his forehead is eating the back of his ears.
And my sleeper is Cortland Sutherland.

Speaker 1 Courtland Sutton. Geez.
Geez, Louise. Sudie.

Speaker 1 No more Daniel Sanders. He's the wide receiver, number one.
He's getting a lot of looks.

Speaker 1 You can pick him up. Not the sleeping.
He's so not high. Not high.
Not high. You keep saying it to me, and now it's getting in my head.
You're really high. You're really little

Speaker 1 bit. Oh, yeah, you are.

Speaker 1 What's up, you fuckheads? This is Pierre Delecto. I'm starting this weekend.

Speaker 1 Short guys. That's right, short, guys.
It's short king season. Tariq Cole and he's going to have a bounce back.
Darren Spros, Nikkel Roby Coleman. forget about hot girl summer.

Speaker 1 It's time for not tall fall. That's what I'm talking about.
Let's cook, boys. I'm sitting Odell Beckham Jr.'s fashion since.
That's right, the NFL.

Speaker 1 They find him because his pants didn't cover up his knees. Went to wearing some culottes, which are wearing some pedal pushers.
The Victorian NFL complex. Back at it again.
Sit him. Shorts.
Shorts.

Speaker 1 And he also went and got Tom Brady a big, a big gift. He got him a pair of boots that were made out of goat hair because he's the goat.
What? Boots?

Speaker 1 I'm going to give Blake Bortles a pair of top sizes because he's the boat. Nice.
My sleeper is Nyquil.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You've been taking a lot.

Speaker 1 And PFT's dead, or whatever his name is. Pierre Delecto, I'm back.
Pierre Lecto. Sleeping Nyquil.
Load up on it, boys, this weekend. She's leaves that cold off.
All right. Oh, what's up, guys?

Speaker 1 It's Ricky Rigatoni. My stardom is David Ross.

Speaker 1 When would it ever be a bad idea to hire everyone's best friend to be the manager and boss? That's not going to be bad at all. You don't crap where you eat? No.
Sit him, CJ Mosley on the Jets.

Speaker 1 Ian Rapper Board reported that they're doing a deep dive into his groin as we speak. That guy's about to fuck and sock.
They were never able to do a deep dive into Brett Favb's groin.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is the Badgers. The Badgers are not going to beat Ohio State, but maybe.

Speaker 1 No, probably not.

Speaker 1 I'm pulling.

Speaker 1 I'm pulling Fazla. That's your sleeper.
All right. Oh, man.
By the way, Zuckerberg, did you know that his haircut, he actually is like obsessed with Caesar? Yeah. And that's why he has the haircut?

Speaker 1 Yeah. What a weirdo.

Speaker 1 Somebody in Congress told him, they were like, hey, you know, whenever I put a picture up on your app, I always get roasted for my appearance, just like everybody out there is making fun of your haircut right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, like right to his face. That's so good.
And then since he's a robot, he didn't understand that it was a joke, but he just identified her as an enemy that he will kill.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah, I will slice your neck. I will kill you.
When I take over the Capitol. He will be the first.
Yes. Okay, let's get to our interviews.
First up, we have CM Punk.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. You know him as CM Punk.
He is Phil Brooks. He's got a movie coming out.
It's Girl on the Third Floor. It's in select theaters on the 25th.

Speaker 1 Do people still call you CM Punk?

Speaker 1 Does that bother you, though? No. Okay, cool.
So we can go CM Punk. Yeah.
Okay, so the movie's coming out.

Speaker 5 The whole reason I got settled with that name is because Punk was my nickname ever since I was like eight years old anyway. So it's, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think Phil is a great name.

Speaker 1 It's an awful name. I love it.
Really? Phil's like a guy's guy. Yeah.
No, that's a guy's guy.

Speaker 5 That's like a that's my white accountant name. It's a buddy.

Speaker 1 You know, you can't be mad with Phil. That's just Phil.
Phil's a glue guy that you, you, you call Phil and he definitely comes over with like at least a 12-pack.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not me. That's not you specifically, but I'm saying Phil in general is like Phil is a guy you can be like, hey, who, who should we take to the game? Oh, Phil can come.

Speaker 5 I've never seen it from this point of view.

Speaker 1 I guess you are a bad example of, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 park. I would say, like, a Doug and a Phil are always welcome in my little game.

Speaker 5 I just think maybe because of my image, because of the way I look, and everyone knows me as Punk when they're like, your name's Phil?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 5 It's a little off-putting.

Speaker 1 So, the movie, let's talk about that first. So, what made you want to get into it? Like, you know, make this movie?

Speaker 1 What's been the evolution since CM Punk was no longer CM Punk and is now Phil?

Speaker 5 Well, just being

Speaker 5 asked to do this movie, I thought was very flattering.

Speaker 5 I've been asked to do numerous projects, and I've always said no to stuff for one reason or another, but this one was hard to say no to for a million different reasons. It's very Chicago-centric.

Speaker 5 Travis Stevens is the writer and the director, and he has produced some of the best horror movies in the last 10 years, in my opinion.

Speaker 5 He produced Yuderowski's Dune, which isn't a horror movie, it's a documentary about the movie Dune.

Speaker 5 Done Starry Eyes, We Are Still Here.

Speaker 5 Steve Albini is attached doing the soundtrack and the score.

Speaker 5 And just honestly, based on all that, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm in.

Speaker 5 I don't got to get on a plane. That's a big thing.
It's a huge thing.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 I get to be in bed with my wife and my dog every night. Yeah, awesome.

Speaker 5 Let's do it. And then I read the script and it was good, too.
So I was like, woo.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Do you like performing in front of a camera?

Speaker 1 Because it doesn't give you the same reaction that you get, you know, coming up through wrestling and MMA you're in front of an audience so if you do something awesome you get that instant feedback right yeah it's instant gratis gratit gratisfaction what am I

Speaker 1 gratification gratifaction gratisfaction gratisfaction

Speaker 1 snack dix factions yeah stratic stratisfaction you got it yeah all right but you don't get that you don't get that immediate hit of you know you don't get the endorphins if somebody's booing you or if somebody's cheering you right you know you're performing for a camera so is that like how different is that for you and which one do you like better it's it's extremely different and it's it can be a little jarring, especially in this movie, the first two weeks of the shoot was me and a dog.

Speaker 5 That's it. That's kind of cool, though.
I didn't have anybody to play with. Yeah, it's cool until you realize, no, not my dog.

Speaker 5 Until you realize, like, you do the shoot, and there's literally, it's literally like, okay, now look at the dog,

Speaker 5 cut. And I would be, how was that? And they'd be like, it's fine.
We're moving on. And I was like,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Was it one of those really well-trained dogs?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Oh,

Speaker 5 the dog's name in real life is Riker. He plays Cooper in the movie.

Speaker 1 They change the dog's name in the movie? Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's kind of fucked up. Nah, this dog was such a pro.

Speaker 1 How do you decide the dog's name? Like, in a script, you're like, I need the dog's name to be Cooper?

Speaker 5 That would be a question for writer, director, producer Travis Stevens.

Speaker 1 I would just roll with Riker. It's like, that's the name of the dog.

Speaker 1 Did you think that the dog loved you?

Speaker 5 The dog for sure loved me.

Speaker 1 Or is it just a really good actor?

Speaker 1 And that would break my heart. Yeah, if I found out.

Speaker 1 If the dog saw you right now, do you think he'd say hi? Sure. You think so? You walk down the street, that dog's, Riker's coming, and you're like...

Speaker 5 Riker was like a retired, I don't know if he was a police dog or if he was in the army. I can't remember.
Okay. But Riker was legit.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right. More legit than me, and he was a better actor than me, too.

Speaker 1 I've always, yeah, I've always wanted to meet these dogs that are like super well. I have a dog who's just not trained at all.

Speaker 1 Oh, mine, too. Yeah.
So I've always wondered, like, ooh, that's kind of cool to have a dog that actually listens. Yeah.
That's awesome. Yeah.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 we should have an acting dog on the show sometime. Yes.
The rest of the interview will be dog questions. Yeah.
Okay. What kind of dog do you have?

Speaker 5 He's a mutt.

Speaker 1 Same with mine. Yeah.
Did you rescue from?

Speaker 5 We rescued him from paws and

Speaker 5 stuff.

Speaker 1 Same with my dog.

Speaker 5 I always do charity stuff with them all the time.

Speaker 1 Clyborne one? Yeah. Yep.
Same with mine.

Speaker 5 At the PetSmart right across the street.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 That used to be my job. I used to sell used dogs in front of PetSmart.
Used dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would take homeless dogs and I'd set up a little kennel for them in front of the PetSmart or the Petco, and they'd wave at the cars passing by with a little puppy wave. Is this real life?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Then they'd pull over and then they'd look at the dogs, and I'd be like, Here's a great dog for you.
You, sir, you look like you could use a Malamute bootleg dog salesman. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 the only problem I have with paws is that they give the dogs names, and they're always terrible.

Speaker 5 Yeah, what was your dog's name? Mama, Mama, yeah, and then what'd you name him? Stella, Stella, yeah, okay, yeah, what about yours?

Speaker 1 He was Baylor, okay,

Speaker 5 yeah, and we named him Larry.

Speaker 1 Larry's a great dog. That's a good dog name.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I like Larry. That's good.
That's good.

Speaker 1 Is it weird to be, you're not retired because you're obviously doing this movie and you're doing a bunch of stuff, but is it weird to be retired from your profession that everyone knows you from at such a young age?

Speaker 5 It can be strange because I do feel, and I make the joke with my wife all the time,

Speaker 5 I'm like, I don't have a job. But in reality, I have like four.
Right. You know, they're just not your normal jobs, you know?

Speaker 5 So, yeah, sometimes I'm just like, I don't know. What are you you doing today, babe? Oh, I'm writing.
That's my wife. She writes.
What are you doing today? Well, I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 5 I don't have a job.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
So it could be a little weird. Yeah,

Speaker 5 it can be strange.

Speaker 1 Do you ever pretend that you have something to do during the day? So you like leave the house and you're like, oh, I'm going to work, honey.

Speaker 1 And then you just go out and like, you know, go to a coffee shop.

Speaker 5 I don't have to lie about it. I just go, I don't know.
I'm going to go out. I'm going to do something.

Speaker 5 But I'm the one. I do most of the grocery shopping and everything like that.
So at least I have something to do during the day so I don't go crazy.

Speaker 1 Do you, I saw that you made a comment recently that you would be open to going back to WWE for a very big bag. What kind of bag are we talking about? We can negotiate.

Speaker 5 Bigger, bigger. They don't, I don't, I don't know if they don't think they have that much money.

Speaker 1 So, oh, they don't have that much money.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 You sure? They got a new office they're moving into. They're spending some money on something.
Do you check the stock every day and you're like, okay, nope, they don't have enough money.

Speaker 1 Oh, today they do have enough money.

Speaker 1 Go back and forth. How much?

Speaker 5 Maybe I could be paid in stocks.

Speaker 1 That's an interesting thought. If you were Vince McMahon, how much would you pay you to come back?

Speaker 5 I think the conversation would have to start at somewhere like, I don't know, 20, 25.

Speaker 1 How many Saudi Arabia shows do they have to do to bring back CM Punk? I'm not doing a single show. No, I'm saying how many they have to do to get the money to pay you.

Speaker 5 I don't know. What's the deal?

Speaker 1 They make a lot of noise.

Speaker 1 This sounds so shady. Yeah.
Oh, it's very shady. Come on.
It's very shady. It's like backyard wrestling for MBS.
Just like

Speaker 1 that. Do you know what you need to do, though? I feel like they still are kind of using.
Maybe this isn't. I was a big attitude error guy, but I watched here and there, you know, the last 15 years.

Speaker 1 The problem is, every time there's a Chicago show, everyone's like, ooh, Punk might be coming back.

Speaker 1 I remember like two or three years ago, I watched an entire RAW expecting you to come out at Rosemont.

Speaker 1 And you need to tweet that and be like, do not let them make money off of the idea that I could be coming out.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting on my couch and waiting.

Speaker 5 I think me addressing it adds fuel to that fight.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're right. You know what I mean? It's this weird world where

Speaker 1 it's rumors.

Speaker 5 You don't address the rumors because you add fuel to the fire. You just got to let it die.
And they're always going to be there, and they're always going to take on a life of their own.

Speaker 5 Me coming out and addressing it, I think, puts a spotlight on it.

Speaker 1 Do you think Vince ever does anything that's not for content?

Speaker 5 No, I think that's what

Speaker 5 he's in that business. Yeah.
You know, like

Speaker 5 that whole thing with the network and all that, like it's, it's all content. But I think that's the world we live in, too.

Speaker 5 I think everybody has their own streaming service now, and everybody needs content. Everybody's producing their own TV show.

Speaker 1 Hulu. What the fuck?

Speaker 5 Hulu's producing their own shows and movies. Netflix is producing their own shows and movies.

Speaker 5 Instead of paying other people for their stuff, everybody wants their own IP, and that's the smart way to go. But yeah, I don't think Vince does anything without a camera being involved.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Trying to make a show out of it.

Speaker 1 Do you think he

Speaker 1 last Vince question? Because I know it's probably annoying. I don't care.
Do you think he, did he fire you from the or terminate you from the WWE?

Speaker 1 Do you think that was planned to do it on your wedding day? Yeah. Like a total fuck you? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but my perspective was it was a gift. You know, so you know, he's probably like, ha ha, I got him.
And I'm probably like, and I'm like,

Speaker 5 you didn't get him. Pretty sweet.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 5 You know, I've talked about that ad nauseum, and it's impossible to think that it was anything but done maliciously and on purpose, but I've also forgiven him for it. I don't, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't, I don't, I don't hang my hat on it.

Speaker 5 You know, like,

Speaker 5 it, they, they didn't ruin my day. And, you know, like, I, I, I've, I've just learned from it, like, that just, like, forgiveness is, is, is for me and not them.

Speaker 5 And, you know, I can forgive, but I don't have to forget. But, I mean, I talked to Triple H two days before that, and he was like, hey, let's talk.
And I was like, can I talk after my honeymoon?

Speaker 5 My wife worked there. She asked for the day off to get married.
So the idea that they didn't know that that was the date and I was getting married is impossible.

Speaker 5 Especially, I still have the FedEx envelope, it was bought and paid for on that day to be sent in two days. Like, it is what it is, though.
It's whatever. Who cares?

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 5 it's a funny fucking story now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it is. And it's, I mean, your attitude for it definitely takes, it almost cuts the legs out for Vince being like, ooh, I got him.
It's like, nope, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because he counts on people to just get mad at him and like respond to what he's putting out. So, if you just run into somebody like yourself, he's like, ah, it is what it is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got fired on my wedding day. It's a funny story.

Speaker 1 That's like, that's the ultimate way to take the piss out of him. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 We've played nice here. We've asked about the dogs.
We've talked about vents. Let's cut to the chase.
How big is Batiste's dick? Oh, man.

Speaker 5 Huge. Let's see here.

Speaker 1 Trying to

Speaker 1 round him. Looking around.

Speaker 1 You see? I got it.

Speaker 1 Look at this arm.

Speaker 5 You see that? That was that Clorox disinfectant wipes? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Throw that over here. Oh, my God.
Let me see. That's the first time that we've actually used these.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Nice tossing. Okay.

Speaker 1 More of a hockey guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 More of a beard ice guy.

Speaker 5 I got to hold it.

Speaker 1 The weight. That's it?

Speaker 5 I mean, that's close.

Speaker 1 It's evolving. Okay.
Okay. That's close.
By the way, we have.

Speaker 1 It smells the same, too. We're going to talk about the partying with the Blackhawks after they won the Stanley Cup, but we also have something else in common.
We both defeated John Cena.

Speaker 1 You did it in the ring. I did it because he wanted to fuck my belly button and broke up with Nikki Bella like right after.
Oh, no, it was actually right before he broke up with Nikki Bella.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I have a deep belly button. I showed it to him, and he, there's a clip where he was like, I want to fuck that thing.
That's so he thought I'd just share that with you.

Speaker 5 You wouldn't, you wouldn't be the ugliest thing.

Speaker 1 Ooh, there we go. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's talk about it. Sorry, John.

Speaker 5 We do.

Speaker 1 That's, I mean, that's good. He's a great guy.
We, uh, so we partied with the Blackhawks in 2013. Yeah.
Did we party together in 2015? Maybe? No. Okay.

Speaker 5 You weren't on the I think I was over it by then.

Speaker 1 You were over it.

Speaker 5 Wanted to to go home and go to bed.

Speaker 1 That was a fun time. That's pretty much the question.

Speaker 5 That's a statement.

Speaker 1 That was an awesome time.

Speaker 1 Do you remember

Speaker 1 the time?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 it was an insane blast. And I was the only sober guy, I think, in the city that night.

Speaker 1 No, Kane

Speaker 1 was not sober at all. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. I was like, huh?

Speaker 1 Does that ever get annoying just hanging out with drunk people? Because I think I would hate hanging out with myself if I was drunk.

Speaker 5 No, it was amazing.

Speaker 1 Well, we were also,

Speaker 1 you and I were the only two guys who weren't part of the team or like family members on the team on that bus.

Speaker 1 And I remember looking around because Patrick Sharp brought me and he brought his brother as well. And I was like, why? How did I make the fucking cut? Yeah, well, it was Sharp and his brother.

Speaker 5 That's the same thing I said.

Speaker 5 The whole night I'm going, why am I here? Right.

Speaker 1 And it was incredible. And we were just driving around with the Stanley Cup.
I remember the best part was everyone was trying to figure out where it was going.

Speaker 1 And I kept on tweeting where it was going. And people were like, he doesn't know.

Speaker 5 And then I just tweeted a picture of it like in my lap and i was like yeah i kind of know and it was i mean it was a ridiculous night yeah it was it was a very ridiculous night uh making it more ridiculous is i had to be in court at like 8 a.m

Speaker 5 so i literally stayed out with the cup and you and the team all night and literally i i went home i put a suit on and then i went to court and i was i must have looked so strung out i was just like oh like do you assure this guy's street edge i don't know no exactly exactly but yeah i slept like a baby after that was all done.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. So did you go to one celebration or two of them?

Speaker 5 I went to the one. You went to the one?

Speaker 1 14, yeah. Okay.
Did they make you wear big pants to get on the bus? No. I heard that that's something that they do with the Stanley Company.
No, we were just invited on the bus. That was crazy.

Speaker 1 So Patrick Sharp invited you? Yep. And then who invited you? Patrick Sharp.
Patrick Sharp. Oh, so I guess we both were Patrick Sharp bros.
So you guys are Sharp Bros and Cena Bros.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were invited together. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 you know, a life debt to Patrick Sharp for letting me experience that. Yes.
He's amazing.

Speaker 1 Absolutely the best. Yeah, because he just picked, he was just like, yeah, just come meet up at the bar.
I thought I was going to get one picture with the cop and just go home.

Speaker 1 And he's like, all right, we're going to go on the bus now. And I was like, what do you mean? We're going to go on the bus now.
He's like, no, no, we're going on the bus.

Speaker 5 Everyone. And what a ridiculous process.
Like, pull up somewhere. get off the bus.
Yep. Walk into a place.
Everybody does shots, drinks.

Speaker 5 You're there for like a lot of places where you're there for maybe 15, 20 minutes.

Speaker 5 And then somebody's just going, come on, let's go.

Speaker 1 Brandon Bowler's like, let's go, punk. Let's go.
All right. And then

Speaker 5 you walk back down. You're back on the bus.
You're going somewhere else. And like, that's where me and you make eye contact.
And I was just like, what am I doing here?

Speaker 1 I don't know. We went to like 10 different bars in the night.
And just every single one, you just walk in. Everyone's like, fuck yes.
It's incredible.

Speaker 5 I don't know how they did it.

Speaker 5 Like, I was shot and I wasn't drinking, but like those guys, like.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 I guess because they're like athletes and also they work so hard that they I know that being around those guys after like the second or third day, they all just basically basically go to sleep for like 24 minutes.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but then they got to go do the parade.

Speaker 1 No, I know.

Speaker 1 That's always funny.

Speaker 5 Everybody's just drunk, hungover.

Speaker 1 Thickest sunglasses you can find. Yeah.
Just sitting there. Yeah.
I don't know why. The Capitals, I think, stayed drunk for like two weeks.
Yeah. And they got the top 30.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, they never won one. Yeah, it was pretty big.
It was a pretty big deal.

Speaker 1 I was doing some research on you. It turns out that CM Punk is a fan of punk music.
So that's interesting.

Speaker 1 What's the best show that you've ever been to?

Speaker 5 Good question.

Speaker 1 Did you go to the Rancid show on Saturday?

Speaker 5 I was there, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How was it?

Speaker 5 It was great. I mean,

Speaker 5 Rancid is a band that never has a bad show. They never sound bad.
They never have a bad set. They're just always good.

Speaker 1 They're like,

Speaker 5 they're the new clash. You know what I mean? Where they're just like super professional, but still wildly unprofessional in a way.

Speaker 5 The best,

Speaker 5 I think my stock answer is: I went and saw Rancid play Chicago, and I want to say it was

Speaker 5 95 or 96.

Speaker 5 I think they played, I've seen them play everywhere in Chicago. They played the Riv, and they had Rocket from the Crypt open, and Slapstick, a local Chicago band, opened for them.

Speaker 5 And like, that's the biggest one, two, three punch. I think I've ever seen.

Speaker 5 Aside from going to like festivals where you can be like, oh, I saw Rancid, and then I saw Bad Religion, and then I saw Wu-Tang Clan, you know,

Speaker 5 just one solitary show. But

Speaker 5 I've seen some bangers. I've seen some like crazy Cro-Mag shows, you know.
I've seen great sick of it all shows. The Bouncing Souls always do really, really well.

Speaker 1 How many shows do you see a year?

Speaker 5 I don't know. It depends on where I am in the country and where my friends are.
You know what I mean? Like, that's a lot of the time that's how it goes.

Speaker 5 Like, I was going to be here in New York doing press for my movie anyway, and I came out early so I could go see Rancid and the Misfits. Right.

Speaker 5 Because I don't have a real job.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Because you just kind of hang out, which is nice. Yeah.
Do you still train?

Speaker 5 It's not bad. I train every day.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. For anything in particular? Are you maybe trying to fight again?

Speaker 5 No, I just don't want to lose my mind. Okay.
You know what I mean? It's in the back of my head. Like, I haven't closed the door 100%.
Like, if I do fight again, I'm sure it won't be in UFC.

Speaker 5 I don't think it should be either.

Speaker 1 Do you regret that at all i mean like doing hopping up because no guys can't it's very very hard to just obviously hop into the i don't regret it at all yeah no um

Speaker 5 because it's it's made me it's made me such a better man and i've met so many amazing people and have like

Speaker 1 life experiences and like great friendships with like my team and my coaches and everything don't regret it at all yeah yeah i mean it's an admirable thing i can't imagine we we have a amateur boxing league that we do pay-per-views and we own the boxing league.

Speaker 1 And I always just say, anyone who gets in the ring, it's like, you get undying respect for me because a lot of people talk, but to get in there and know, like, hey, this could go badly is a totally different, you know, ballgame.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So when was the last time you got punched?

Speaker 1 Or just took a hit?

Speaker 5 When did I spar last? Last week, sometime.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you one of the guys that kind of likes the feeling of pain a little bit?

Speaker 5 I don't think anybody likes pain. I'm definitely one of those guys that

Speaker 5 I need to get woken up.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I need to get jabbed in the nose really quick to go, oh, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, here we go.

Speaker 5 Let's tighten everything up here.

Speaker 1 Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 All right, my last question: your tattoos, which are obviously a big part of you and, you know,

Speaker 1 everything in wrestling and in UFC and everything. Do you regret any tattoos?

Speaker 5 No. None? No.

Speaker 1 I wish I had tattoos like yours. It's instant respect.

Speaker 5 I think

Speaker 5 when you have as many as I do, I think the joke is you don't, you're not like you're not, you're not tattooed enough unless you do regret a few of them. Right.

Speaker 5 But that makes me like them all the more. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Like going to a tattoo parlor somewhere in like southern Indiana with a couple of your friends on a whim and like picking something off the wall that's like awful. That's fucking hilarious.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And it's more about the experiences and the people you go with and get bro tattoos with than it is about the actual tattoo. Because when you're this tattooed, you're

Speaker 1 you know, it's instant respect. You're far far gone.

Speaker 5 You should not respect anybody who has tattoos.

Speaker 1 No, I'm stupid as

Speaker 1 it's so stupid.

Speaker 1 Which one is your favorite?

Speaker 5 That's a fantastic question. I mean, I have my first dog, my dog when I was a kid, Callie.
I have her paw print. That's her name.

Speaker 5 I got my wife's lips right here. Nice.
And then next to it,

Speaker 5 next to it, I have a bowl of ramen.

Speaker 5 Because I love ramen.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's a lot.

Speaker 5 I have a fucking Pepsi tattoo. Like, why?

Speaker 1 We love Pepsi. What's your dumbest bro tattoo?

Speaker 5 The ramen might be my dumbest.

Speaker 1 That's actually a good tattoo. I'm looking at it right now.
It's like, well done.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Oh, no.
I mean, yeah. I mean, I got some well-done ones.

Speaker 1 I got some ones that are awful.

Speaker 5 I do have, I got the tattoo. I tattooed the cup because you were here.
You shared it with me.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 It says my summer vacation.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because that was

Speaker 5 the first time I was ever off the road with WWE, and I got to go to all the playoff games. And I went to every single one of them.
And then they won, and then I got the party with the cup.

Speaker 1 So, like, to me, were you at the triple overtime game against the Red Ones? That one, yeah, that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that one was a long game, and they stopped. And every beer, well, that was the one that

Speaker 5 you won

Speaker 5 the triple OT with the Bruins, too.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 5 That might still be the longest game the Blackhawks ever played.

Speaker 1 I probably went to like four or five games during that run. It was a good game.

Speaker 5 I mean, people were sleeping. They were like, wake me up when the period starts.
I got to go to work in the morning. And they would just throw their winter jacket or not.

Speaker 5 They'd throw their jacket over and they'd just be like, go to sleep. And I would nudge people.
Yes. Game starting.

Speaker 1 And it's nothing like it when there's a deep playoff run, no matter the sport. It feels like you're just

Speaker 1 the wave that you ride during that month is just something so special.

Speaker 5 Well, everything changes, right?

Speaker 5 I don't give a shit about the Nationals, no offense, or the Braves, you know, and I hate the Cardinals, but like I'm watching Cardinals-Braves games, like, oh, God, everything changes when it's the playoffs.

Speaker 5 It's just shit means something.

Speaker 1 I think hockey is even more of that, too, because especially overtime hockey and the playoffs. It's not even, I don't even enjoy watching it.
It's just the tension is so high. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And somebody's about to get their heart broken, but you can't look away from it.

Speaker 5 Well, that's what people ask me all the time. They'll make fun of me, like, yeah, Blackhawks didn't make the playoffs, and I'm over here like, I'm like, good.

Speaker 5 I just watched the playoff hockey and I could just watch it and enjoy it. I'm not stressed out, I'm not pacing in my living room.

Speaker 1 Unless you win the Stanley Cup, the playoffs suck. Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 And as a Caps fan, I've dealt with that for many, many years. Just a lot of shit.
But it was all worth it when they did win. One last question about the tattoos.
What's the spider web?

Speaker 1 Because I always see the elbow spider web on people, and I'm always afraid to ask what it is.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 5 so I got my elbow done because it's supposed to be like the most one of the most painful places. It's like just right on the bone, right?

Speaker 1 Not do like pain.

Speaker 5 No, no, no. Well, I had fractured my skull, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, not addicted to pain.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I fractured my skull and I got my elbow done to take my mind off of the fact that I had fractured my skull.

Speaker 1 And then you realize how ridiculous that sentence sounds?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's fucking awful. But I was like, you know, I don't know,

Speaker 5 20 something years old and i i

Speaker 5 half the half the bad idea about tattoos is the way you have to position your body when you're getting them

Speaker 5 interesting so i'm like this yeah like for three four and a half hours and like just your arm goes numb and then it's just it's super super painful and the whole time i'm like yeah my head still hurts this is stupid this sucks not working yeah now my head and my arm hurts it didn't work at all i should have just done drugs

Speaker 1 oh man um all right well thank you so much. Girl on the third floor, coming out 25th, Select Theaters.
Appreciate you stopping by, man.

Speaker 5 Video on demand. You can get it on.
You can't call it iTunes anymore, right?

Speaker 1 You can

Speaker 1 call it all VOD.

Speaker 5 Call it

Speaker 1 Apple TV. Apple TV.
Apple TV. Apple TV.
Starring CM Punk and Riker. And Riker.
And Riker. Who is the star of the movie? I don't know if he would recognize you.

Speaker 5 He would.

Speaker 1 I think he's just really well trained. Do you think it would be like a head nod or would it be like a

Speaker 5 full-on gallop into

Speaker 5 jump chest level.

Speaker 1 That's sick.

Speaker 5 I'd take a bump. Yeah, you never seen Larry?

Speaker 5 You never seen Larry? Well, the story with Larry is my wife and I were laying in bed and we were flipping through catalogs of rescue dogs and she said, Oh, look at this guy, and showed me him.

Speaker 5 And I went, hmm, he's cute. And then the next day I went and got him because I'm a huge horror movie fan and I love the Universal Monsters.

Speaker 5 And Larry looks exactly like the Wolfman.

Speaker 5 So I have oil paintings of all the universal monsters. Wolfman,

Speaker 5 Creature of the Black Lagoon, Dracula, Frankenstein. So this is the first picture I ever took of Larry.
I brought him home and I put him right next to my oil painting of the Wolfman.

Speaker 5 And this is why he's named Larry Talbot after the Wolfman.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yeah. Larry's a badass.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, he does look like the Wolfman. He does.
He looks exactly like the Wolfman. That's awesome.
And shout out Paul's Chicago.

Speaker 5 His attitude. I don't know if you can zoom in.

Speaker 1 We'll put it in there. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, right there. That's your mark.
Covers everywhere. I have actually one last question.

Speaker 1 What was it like being on a bachelor party with Roan? Was he cool?

Speaker 1 Do you remember Roan? I wouldn't use cool.

Speaker 1 So people don't know, Roan went on John Mayer's bachelor party. No, it was whose bachelor party it was.

Speaker 5 Our buddy Jensen.

Speaker 1 Jensen, his bachelor party, John Mayer was on it, and CM Punk was on it, and Roan was on it. Yeah,

Speaker 5 it was crazy.

Speaker 5 It was a very sober bachelor party. We went to a pinball museum, like a pinball factory, and then

Speaker 5 we went to a socks game.

Speaker 5 It was wild. And I super enjoyed hanging out with John Mayer because normally

Speaker 5 I'm the focal point in the room. And it was nice to be this super gigantic celebrity.
So people would just flock to him. And I would just be over there eating nachos.
Like, this is pretty cool. Right.

Speaker 5 I need to do this more often.

Speaker 1 And I noticed you didn't mention Roan. So, that says it all.
Perfect. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He was that forgettable. But John Mayer, cool.

Speaker 5 I think Ron was busy taking pictures with me and John Mayer.

Speaker 1 I think that's what. Ron is a very good guy.
Yeah, it was so crazy that he just... It's like, oh, yeah, I was on a bachelor party with John Mayer.

Speaker 1 He's still, as though, he's being a little bit of a coward because we keep telling him he's, I think there was a group text chain. So we're like, come on, text John Mayer.
He won't do it.

Speaker 1 Like, come on, just do it once. Like, he has one.
You can do one where you can be like, hey, man, I'm in the same city as you. What's up? And if he doesn't respond, you'll never text John Mayer again.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But you get one.
Yeah. And he just won't do his one.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's ridiculous. Yeah.
It's all of us that were at the bachelor party.

Speaker 1 We just talk shit. Pop one.
Just do one. Abuse the text chain one time.
Yeah, one time. I agree.
I do get that. All right.
Well, thank you so much. We appreciate it.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is a lot of fun. And everyone, go check out Girl on the Third Floor.
You can watch it on Apple TV. Yeah.
So do it.

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Paul Rabel.

Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we teased it on Wednesday. We have Paul Rabel here.
He came back. Yes.
Crazy that you came back two days later. You actually haven't wearing the same clothes.

Speaker 1 I would never miss it. So if you missed Wednesday's show,

Speaker 1 first of all, fuck you. Second of all, Paul Rabel has announced that there's a seventh PLL team.
We are expanding as a league we because we own it.

Speaker 1 And he has allowed us to come up with a team name. So

Speaker 1 you actually do have to be semi-serious about that, right? Like there's going to be sponsorships. We take our branding very seriously.

Speaker 1 So I think what we should do is let's start with the worst names that aren't going to get picked, and then we'll work our way to the good names. Okay.
Okay. So, you guys have a list.

Speaker 1 Well, I just jotted down some really thought starters. Yeah, I just five minutes ago, I wrote some things that they're all bad.
Mine are all bad, so I can just get started.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, contextually speaking. Yeah, let me ask you: like, is there anything specific that you're looking for? A sound, an animal? Do you want, like, no names that start with Z?

Speaker 1 Can we do the zebras? We like to think about animals. We like to think about time and space or moments.
Okay. Chaos, for example.
Miracle on ice. The miracle on ice.

Speaker 1 The black snakes are very different. Okay.
No cities. So that's the Sacramento Sachs is out.
Yep. And the Philadelphia Beagles are gone too.
Food. Food.

Speaker 1 Food's interesting. Like the watermelons.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay. The nice.

Speaker 1 Everyone likes watermelon. Yeah.
They do.

Speaker 1 The merch would be hot. It's a halftime meal.
What about, like, I think

Speaker 1 the orange peels. If you name them the hot dogs, then it makes people want to go out and buy hot dogs at the concession stand.
Yes. That's hard.
You got to feed yourself on the back end.

Speaker 1 One of my team names was just the dogs.

Speaker 1 The or dogs? Dogs. Dogs lacrosse club.
Everyone loves dogs.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just make it dogs. Right.
And it's just dogs. You telling me that wouldn't work on the internet? I think it's on the table.
Okay. What about Mad Dog 2020? Ooh, I like Mad Dog.

Speaker 1 Here is one other wrinkle is that we have to run these names through legal after that.

Speaker 1 I think Mad Dog owns the

Speaker 1 challenging, but they may not in sports.

Speaker 1 okay so the tricky part when we first had our six clubs named we had probably 200 different names with them down to 30 and then we had our top 15 and then we went through legal checking of all of them because you have high schools colleges pros semi-pro teams and depending on who built the teams filed for trademark all right so let's get let's let's get three we'll come we'll come up with three and then you can do the whole lego mumbo jumbo and then that one of those three will work so let's start with the bad ones okay uh the rain city jacks yes Yes.

Speaker 1 I like it. Why?

Speaker 1 Because it's cool. It's a masturbation club in Seattle.
Okay. Is it? Yes.

Speaker 1 You do a good job pretending not to know what's Rain City Jackson.

Speaker 1 That one, I'm familiar with lovers. That one would be good.
Yeah, yeah. That one would be good.

Speaker 1 Rain City Jacks. What about the Vine Stars? Because you kind of have like, there's, you know, like the Vine with the nets and everything.
And then the Vine Stars. The Vines are similar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Vine no longer exists. But when it did, it was great.
It was great. And I'm assured that a bunch of lacrosse dudes tried to be vine stars and they're like my backup plan is lacrosse right

Speaker 1 vine stars the vine stars i like that you guys are going with two names to start so it'd be vine stars lacrosse club yes oh yes vs okay lc all right so that one didn't didn't it didn't land all right about the redskins

Speaker 1 no

Speaker 1 well

Speaker 1 Would you name a team the Redskins? We grew up in D.C. The short answer is no.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And then I'm especially scarred over the last two decades of Daniel Snyder's ownership of the Washington Redskins. I think the Washington Redskins should change their name.
I do too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it has nothing, even if you think that the name is great and not offensive, you should still want them to change their name. So the Whips.
Rebrand, yeah, right. Washington Whipsnakes, great name.

Speaker 1 We would sue Daniel Snyder. Okay,

Speaker 1 that would be fun. Daniel Snyder, do that.
Let's see. What about

Speaker 1 the pipe fitters? Because then you can get, you know, I think that's La Crosse's vernacular, right? Pipes. He likes, Yeah, you hit the pipes, whatever.

Speaker 1 And then you can also maybe get your local union to be involved as well. Interesting.
Pipe fitters. Right.
Right. Unions hot in the streets.
Pipe hitters or fitters? Ooh, pipe hitters.

Speaker 1 Fitters, but then you're smoking weed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 What about pipers?

Speaker 1 Nope, that's too much. Probably not pipers.

Speaker 1 Not going to help our stereotypes. What about Wesley Pipes? I like that.

Speaker 1 And that's actually something that people say? Often. In lacrosse? Hit the bar, flies out.
That's a Wesley pipes? Wesley Pipes.

Speaker 1 And he's, I think, I don't think he has any money anymore. So we could probably get him for cheap.
Yeah, pipe it up. Pipe it up.
Same thing with piping it, really. Yeah.
The bagpipers. The pipers.

Speaker 1 Just the pipers. And they wear kilts.
Yeah. So back to pipers? Pipers.
Pipers. Pipers.
Pipers lacrosse club.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's good to put that on the piece of paper.
All right. All right.
That was out there.

Speaker 1 The Hanks.

Speaker 1 As I look over to Hank. The Hammer and Hanks.
I don't love it. The hammers.
I love it. I mean, it's Hank's been.
Hammers are interesting.

Speaker 1 Hank's partially responsible for growing the sport to this point.

Speaker 1 Hammers.

Speaker 1 What about the cheddar? The cheddar's a thing, lacrosse, right? Cheddar, yep. Or stinky Gouda.
The stinky cheese. The stinky cheese.
That would be good because it also would be like.

Speaker 1 It's not the, though. It's the, you got to think of the name and then lacrosse club coming after.
The stinky cheese, lacrosse club. Yep.
That works. Just stinky cheese.

Speaker 1 But it also would be cool because it's like Archers, Atlas, Chaos. These names suck.
Stinky Cheese.

Speaker 1 Right. And then it's a good one.

Speaker 1 And just a stinky piece of cheese as our logo.

Speaker 1 What about you? I didn't get that during the first interview we had. What? Oh, yeah, we were being nice to you.
Because Erica told us that she invested in it.

Speaker 1 Well, now collectively, we're all owners.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 Bet on this team. Oh, that's my

Speaker 1 horse racing idea is just keep being like surefire winner. We're trying to figure out a deal with barstool bets right now.

Speaker 1 Okay. Just the winner bets.

Speaker 1 How about eruption? Oh,

Speaker 1 I like that. In a sexual way or volcanic? Volcanic.
Or Van Hillen. But then people will be mad because it's like, oh, my great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother died in Mount Vesuvius.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you toss a few more grates on there.
Great, great, great, great, great. Yeah.
Times of the same thing. Eruption lacrosse club.
That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 The disruptors, the eruptors. Ooh, disruptors with no blacks.
That feels pretty techie, though, and it kind of goes into the lacrosse.

Speaker 1 Oh, maybe our

Speaker 1 jerseys are turtlenecks. Right.
Right. It's black turtlenecks.
Yeah. I like that.
What's the name of

Speaker 1 the fucking scheme that the woman had? Oh, the blood one.

Speaker 1 Thanos. Theranos.
Theranos. There it is.
Yeah. Theranos.
Her and Steve Jobs. Therana.

Speaker 1 What about, I was just thinking the Aardvarks because get all that phone book clout going where it's the first alphabetically, so it always shows up at the top of the table. Yep.

Speaker 1 Week one, they're always in first place. I like that.
What about the pigeons?

Speaker 1 That's interesting. Yeah.
Pigeons don't get a lot of love. And we could make a funny, like, looking,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 It was a big street brand, right? Was it? Yeah. Pigeon? Pigeon?

Speaker 1 What was the pigeon streetwear brand that had a pigeon as a logo? I don't know if that was the staple pigeon. Staple pigeon.
Pigeon chicklets.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like pigeon.
All right, so we have, so far we have nothing. Well, hammers, I thought hammers compared to hammers.
What about, I don't know if the copyright, but if you just called it Marvel.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Marvel lacrosse club.
Oh, we would get our asses sued for that.

Speaker 1 But isn't Marvel like

Speaker 1 you're marveling at someone? Like, Marvel is just a word, isn't it?

Speaker 1 We could say it in satire.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Yeah, the Jordan brand lacrosse club.

Speaker 1 What about the

Speaker 1 grit?

Speaker 1 The grit. Grit lacrosse club.
Grit would be good. Grinders.
Because that actually falls into like the Atlas, the chaos.

Speaker 1 Grit. Grit.
Grinder, G-R-I-N-D-R. Nope.
Nope. Let's not use that one.

Speaker 1 One of

Speaker 1 the seventh, or at least

Speaker 1 the team looking on the outside or looking in from the outside when we announced our first six clubs was Novas.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Didn't like it. Nova, no.
No, not really. You know what that is? I just thought that was going to be a lot of fun.
We had that developed. Well, we didn't go with it, but it's developed.

Speaker 1 It's easy to plug and play. Nope.
In Spanish, that means doesn't go. No.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think that's right.

Speaker 1 The Novas. Is that right? I don't know.
Nova. No, I don't like that.
I don't like Novas. Sorry.
The Chads. Chad Wicks.
Ooh. The Chad Wicks.
What about the Phenoms?

Speaker 1 That's good. The Phenom Lacrosse Club.
I think the NBA does that.

Speaker 1 Is there a Phenom?

Speaker 1 For their

Speaker 1 rookie versus sophomore game. Isn't it like the Phenoms against somebody? Yeah, but it's not a team name.
How did you come up with 300 names? This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Speaker 1 Like the Ultras?

Speaker 1 Ultras. Nickelob Ultras? We took that to ABI.
And what'd they say?

Speaker 1 No thanks. They were interested.

Speaker 1 You have to play lacrosse on a pair of rollerblades. They had to pay.
Yeah. The stones.
And they didn't want to pay. Ooh.
What about the whiz? Stones, whiz.

Speaker 1 But an age.

Speaker 1 Nobody beats them. Right, but it's H instead of the Wizards.
It's Cheese Whiz.

Speaker 1 So it's like

Speaker 1 Cheese. We're going to keep going back to cheese.

Speaker 1 Wait, what was your last one? I don't know. Fuck.
What did we have? What did he just say?

Speaker 1 No, no. What did PFT just say? The stones.
The stones.

Speaker 1 Phenom, stones. You could work something out with Keystone for stones.
Yep. But stones is just cool.
There's like stones, it means balls. It could mean

Speaker 1 rolling stones. It could mean, I mean, a stone is tough.
A stone is tough. Rock star.
Yeah, rock star. Someone who's tough.
Rocking it out with the stones. What about the waves? Risk aggressive.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
The waves are good. The waves? Like that.

Speaker 1 We don't have any

Speaker 1 water beasts, do we? We have no water beasts. Water beast.
Water beasts. Get wavy.

Speaker 1 Water beasts. You know, I got a water beast.
The krakens.

Speaker 1 An animal. The wooders.
Stay wavy. The wooders.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have an inside joke at our office when someone's really off. We tell them that they need to go drink some water.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 That's a great idea. I think everyone back at home probably got a kick out of it.
That would be funny. in Land?

Speaker 1 Keep that inside.

Speaker 1 I need some funny. No matter what you said there, we were going to have that reaction.
Reaction, just so you know. You could have said the funniest thing ever, and we were not going to sell that joke.

Speaker 1 The wicked tuna.

Speaker 1 The wicked tuna.

Speaker 1 Salmon.

Speaker 1 What about salmon or salmon? What do you say? Salmon. Salmon.
The salmon. Salmon.

Speaker 1 Damn, this is funny. I like the

Speaker 1 water beast. The water beast? It's not a thing.

Speaker 1 I know what you're saying. I don't like it.

Speaker 1 You don't like like the no no i literally you have a list you have a list and you're you're pushing your name no no i thought you said i have a list but which i also did i would do the i would do the water beast the water beast we can get best of both worlds there is uh

Speaker 1 gosh there's an there is a water animal what about fire salamanders oh

Speaker 1 love that that's good there is some type of

Speaker 1 like an angry salamander out there that is also of native american descent well the fire salamanders they're immune to fire, right? We learned that. What else did we learn about the fire salamanders?

Speaker 1 We would actually be very much into doing the fire salamanders if we could fire it. That actually has a lot of meaning to us.
Ooh, here's one. Here's a salamander.
Mud puppies.

Speaker 1 That would be a sick name. Because now you got the dog.

Speaker 1 You got the, it's a cool name, sounding name. Mud puppies.
Mud puppies. Yes.
It's a type of salamander. Do you think we get pushback from any like animal protection agency? No.

Speaker 1 No, and then we could make it salamander yeah we could make uh like it could be the logo could be a puppy wearing a shirt with a salamander on it i like the mud puppies

Speaker 1 the mud puppies okay could we just be a dirty dog yeah

Speaker 1 that's been wrong

Speaker 1 i do like the dog too people love dogs dogs dogs across just dogs

Speaker 1 because then it's not even are we taking

Speaker 1 together a list

Speaker 1 you're you are you're supposed to be someone write these down these are good

Speaker 1 Dogs. I think dogs would just play.
Dogs plays. Absolutely.
The Mastiffs.

Speaker 1 What about the underdogs? The Mutts.

Speaker 1 The Mutts. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Thoroughbreds.

Speaker 1 Thoroughbreds. Hmm.
The Masts. That freaks some people out.
Yeah. The Breeders Lacrosse Club.
Yeah, now we're getting these kind of dangerous terrorists.

Speaker 5 Yeah, back to Marvel.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Puppies.
Giant salamander? Puppies. I think if we go salamander, we got to go fire salamander.

Speaker 1 That's a kick out. And mud puppy sounds pretty damn damn good.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest, guys, I did not expect a wide open brainstorm session like this. Yeah, no, this is exactly.
You said it. I was like, okay, cool.

Speaker 1 We're going to bring like two ideas and then just start yelling shit.

Speaker 1 I'm looking up the types of salamanders right now. That's where we're at.
All right, so let's recap what we have so far. We have the dogs.
Let's narrow it down.

Speaker 1 What do you think our best ones were so far? I like mud puppies. I think mud puppies, and you could actually just have it be a mud puppy, not a salamander, but we would know it's a salamander.

Speaker 1 I like mud puppy.

Speaker 1 I like fire salamanders i like grit i think grit just plays always yep stones stones stones phenom we got to leave phenom in there that one worked for me a little bit what about the wet dogs

Speaker 1 no one likes to play a wet dog

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 sweaty fat guys the waves the waves waves was in there the waves we can't do colors before waves could be a cool well that would be step two is identity build

Speaker 1 what do you mean the type of color. The logo, color side.

Speaker 1 Mud puppies should just be brown.

Speaker 1 I'm voting Mud Puppies. Everyone gets their own vote.
Let's throw them out there.

Speaker 1 So you're going to take all four of these? I'm going to take these four to the people.

Speaker 1 And you're going to whittle it down.

Speaker 1 I think there's.

Speaker 1 I don't want to sell this whole process short, meaning you guys have a ton of creativity upstairs.

Speaker 1 So I want to take these names

Speaker 1 and then I want to let them simmer,

Speaker 1 come back to you guys over text,

Speaker 1 see if there's anything else that

Speaker 1 circle back, put a pin in it,

Speaker 1 see if there's any other names that come to mind, add them to the jar, potentially take it to the people. But I'd like to make the decision between us.
Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 I might come back with a few names too. But here's my problem with what you guys have right now.
The logos are a little too

Speaker 1 harsh so we need something that can be like i don't know if you saw the chiladelphia beagles logo i did like that sells i do like that i did like that logo we could just go beagles we could just go beagles and just have it be chill ass beagles you guys have probably already trademarked that we did be we own all the beagles in the world but it needs to be a logo that's like we need brand synergy though with the with the rest of the teams right you can't stand out too much oh

Speaker 1 i think we should stand out a lot uh the problem is though i'm looking at the logos right now it's too industrial for my liking i need something that like i want to wear it's like a goofy kind of cool logo like think dive bar that's what we need to think we've got the the huskies but it's not like a dog it's just a picture of big cat wearing a sweatshirt that works too that would work not big

Speaker 1 and tall yeah the huskies big and tall we could corner the market of guys who are just not okay with themselves being called i i love the huskies yeah but it's taken by everyone oh yeah well no but that's S-K-I-E-S, right?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. This is husky as in like fat.
Yeah, not fat.

Speaker 1 Not fat as in

Speaker 1 singular. Husky.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Husky. The husky.
Husky looking. Yeah, it's just we.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I'm looking at it right now. I want our logo to totally stand out.
I want our logo to be, you got harsh, industrial-looking stuff, and then it's just like a cute-ass puppy. Boop.
The boops.

Speaker 1 The boops. What about the boops? There's definitely room for a dog on there.
Yes. I like the idea of a wave, some type of killer or fire salamander.
What about

Speaker 1 wave dogs?

Speaker 1 And it's a dog surfing.

Speaker 1 A wave. The wave dogs.
Let's do it. The wave dogs would be good.
That's a cool name.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 no one has used wave dogs,

Speaker 1 right? Do they exist?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they have the surfing competition.

Speaker 1 That's my vote.

Speaker 1 That's my vote. Wave dogs.
What kind of dog would it be, though?

Speaker 1 Use your imagination. So it's just an outline of a dog.
Correct. And then you just look at it.
Right.

Speaker 1 You just get to color in whatever dog you want. Right.
We could actually sell more shirts that way because people can do their custom-owned dogs. You can put your dog on it.
Your dog here.

Speaker 1 Designer breed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Turf terriers. Turf dogs.
Turf dogs. Ooh.
Turf dogs?

Speaker 1 What about the letters? Turf dogs.

Speaker 1 You get a kick out of turf dogs. Is that something that lacrosse people say? Yeah, I think a turf dog, Brett, correct me if I'm wrong, but

Speaker 1 isn't that something like a sock worn a certain way to prevent the black beads and the turf to get into your cleat? They're called turf dogs. I'm pretty sure that's the case.

Speaker 1 You've never heard of that. A turf dog would be good, though.
Turf dogs, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think the logo could be a dog like scraping turf up like between its legs, digging a hole. Right.
Or like splayed out on the turf

Speaker 1 in front of a net. Could you get amped in a huddle?

Speaker 1 Yes, cheering turf dog on three. Absolutely.
We'd probably just switch it up to wave dog, turf dog. Turf dogs on three.
One, two, three. Turf dog.

Speaker 1 I think that plays. That does.
And then you go, oof, oof, oof, oof. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bark on three. One, two, three.
Or you say turf, and then you start barking. The turf, yeah.
And it's a one. One, two, three, turf.
Turf.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then we sell, and like I said, it's the logo is like a really cute dog that's totally different than all your other logos.

Speaker 1 In those sports huddles, you can get away with and convince anyone to say anything if you say it confidently and quickly. It's true.
You just say bark on three. One, two, three, bark.

Speaker 1 I didn't think about going,

Speaker 1 I said bark. Yeah, right.
That's true.

Speaker 1 It's just so robotic at this stage. And on top of that, turf dogs used to shorten it.
TDs, now we're talking about a real sport.

Speaker 1 Right? All touchdowns are worse. Right.

Speaker 1 So now it's like we found our way to football, and now we're actually selling stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm stuck on turf dogs, so now this is like my

Speaker 1 brain, once it finds the one I like, I'm kind of tapped. Something else? Should we open it up to your audience? We could, yeah, but I think we've got some gold in these hills right here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we definitely do.

Speaker 1 Western lowland gorillas. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there we go. The

Speaker 1 sweet princes. The harambe.
The rambes. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it would be awesome. The WLG.

Speaker 1 A gorilla would make an awesome lacrosse. Oh, the goal rillas.
It's a good mascot. The gorillas.
Goal Rillas.

Speaker 1 And it's a goalie that's also a gorilla. Yep.
I like that. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 I guess I only like that one. That's fine.
No, no, no. No, no big deal.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 It's hard to say, but I like it. Gorillas.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
It is. So just the gorillas.

Speaker 1 The goals. Gorillas.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah.
It's hard to say. All right.
So what's our list? Let's narrow it down to four of the ones that we came out with. So you're taking these four to your people.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Wave dogs. Mm-hmm.
Fire salamanders. Fire salamanders.

Speaker 1 Phenoms. Slash mud puppies.
Pitch those together because it is, a mud puppy is a fire salamander. Big cat is all in on.
Wave Dogs reserve the right to go wave. I want my team to actually sell merch.

Speaker 1 So dogs is the best way. Wave Dogs, Fire Salamander, Mud Puppies, Turf Dogs.
We also have Phenom. Phenom.
Grit. You're going to.
And Stones.

Speaker 1 Stones. Throw Phenom out.
Yeah, Phenom.

Speaker 1 That was not my idea. Yeah, it was.
No. Phenom was my idea.
Yeah, I know, but it was on the 300 board, yeah.

Speaker 1 You said I like that one. He's like, ooh, that was a good one.
You already got like a logo locked up. He covered covered that time and space category, that moment.
No. No.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 that's too much like the other names. We got a zig on everyone's.
Yeah, but you're thinking about the board, big cat. No.
These things are not getting through the board. What was it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's true. It's a board.
Then

Speaker 1 Grit.

Speaker 1 Grit. The Greyhounds.

Speaker 1 Ooh. I'm just doing that.

Speaker 1 All roads lead to dogs. The Bolts.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 Greyhounds are taken by Loyola University, but I love Greyhounds. That was my first dog.

Speaker 1 We rescued a Greyhound. What, really? Yeah.
I like Greyhounds, too. His name was Prince.
Prince? Prince La Crosse Club. Ooh.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. That wouldn't be too biased.
What about what Hank just said? The Bolts.

Speaker 1 I really like that. Because we have a guy named Boltman in San Diego who doesn't have a team because the Chargers left.
We might be able to bring him back out of retirement. Boltman.

Speaker 1 I actually really like that. Bolts?

Speaker 1 Bolt Moltz.

Speaker 1 See, what I was thinking is if

Speaker 1 we were able to back our way into a name here, what I was legitimately concerned about is a rush to the USTPO.

Speaker 1 What's that? Trade pack. Got it.
Yeah. Bolts.
Bolts. Bolts.
Bolts lacrosse club. Nuts and bolts.
You know, there's someone who's listening that's rush ordering this right now.

Speaker 1 No, people will be nice about this. I hope.

Speaker 1 I hope. I really like it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know where it would land, though, after a legal check, but i could see a logo being fucking amazing would it be a lightning bolt or would it be the piece of hardware i think a lightning bolt just a lightning bolt would sell so much yeah like that's a cool look yeah that is also the grateful dead you'd have problem with that but that's okay we can figure that out right we know bill walton yeah the uh

Speaker 1 he's we could definitely call bill walton up and be like hey man he'd be like yeah you want a cool name he's a friend of lacrosse is he yeah really or just like

Speaker 1 it's unsure whether it was paid promotion or but he's he's he's been out there with a stick promoting indoor lacrosse and indoor lacrosse.

Speaker 1 A cool name is the Rainbow Warriors because it takes one thing that

Speaker 1 you don't associate with being fierce and you combine it with a fierce name. So something like

Speaker 1 the Pillow Fighters. Ooh, the Pillow Fighters.
Pillow Fighters. Pillow Biters.
Yeah, even better.

Speaker 1 Grinder presents the Pillow Biters.

Speaker 1 All right, so we have Bolts, Mud Puppies, Wave Dogs, Turf Dogs, fire salamanders, and phenom. Grit and stones.
Grit, grit. Grit, stone, phenom.
I think that's good. I think that's a good list.

Speaker 1 Big cat typed all those into a Google search. Google search.

Speaker 1 That's his version of John Harvey. Nothing came up.
No, we're good. We're good.

Speaker 1 Dude, mud puppies bark. Mud puppies mate in late fall, but the females do not lay their eggs until the following spring.
Mud puppies have no scale, and their skin is very slimy.

Speaker 1 Mud puppies are also called water dogs because of the barking sound they sometimes make. Wow.

Speaker 1 Water dogs. Yeah, water dogs, too.
Water dogs. Bate dogs and water dogs.
Water dogs, lacrosse club. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so we got a good list. People can get around on water dogs.
Water dogs, they're great dogs. Yes, they are.
And it's not just like there's something called a Portuguese water dog.

Speaker 1 That's what Obama had as his dog, but it can also be a Newfoundland

Speaker 1 Chesapeake

Speaker 1 Chesapeake Bay retriever. Yeah, they got the nice coarse coat on them.
That's in your wheelhouse. Uh-huh.
Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chesseys have sweets. The water dogs would go head to head with the whip snakes.
It feels like a very similar type of

Speaker 1 name.

Speaker 1 And we also could just make like a really funny mascot that, and we could also call them short for the water dogs. Right.
Like, that would be good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can, that's how you get through in the office. You're like, hey, you got a great name.
Water dogs. And they'll be like, oh, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 The guys in the office are going to love that one, Paul. They would love it.
Yeah. Petsy, write that down for them.
Tell that one around. Water cooler.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 They're going to be like, damn, Paul always nails the inside jokes. Oh, it brought him to life.
All right.

Speaker 1 I think we're good. So you're going to take this to the people.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We're going to get a name out of this, and then all the AWLs are going to own a lacrosse team.

Speaker 1 I think that's how I'm going to go on Marcia. Yeah.
If you come back with Phenom, I'm going to mad at you. I will disavow.
I'll fight you. We'll both.

Speaker 1 I won't be allowed back. No, I'm going to become a huge whipsnake supporter.
Yep. I just hope they beat the shit out of the Phenom sticks.
Uh-huh. Phenomen sticks.
We're giving the toothpaste.

Speaker 1 I won't go. Yeah, I'll stay on on the atlas.
Okay. All right.
If we do Phenom, but if we do the Water Dogs. Yeah.
You're going to want a piece of water dog, right? Come on. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Philly people are going to love it, and it's just like, water dogs. Boom.
Done. Have it.
It's

Speaker 1 very clean, though. Bolt is clean.
Water dogs. And it's a dog inside of a Philly cheesesteak.

Speaker 1 Eating a water ice. And then we'll get to a place soon where we'll make a decision and make it official.
Oh, you know what it is? You know what it could be?

Speaker 1 It's a dog eating a cheesesteak inside of a dumpster that's been filled with water as a pool. Yeah.
The old Philadelphia swimming pool. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let me clear the air for a second. If you were given the opportunity to rename the Washington Redskins,

Speaker 1 would you go about the process the exact same way? Brain dump, yeah. Yep.
Great. They would be named the Water Dogs.
Yeah. And I would buy some damage.
Because this is going down in history.

Speaker 1 I would buy it going down in history.

Speaker 1 Fucking going in history. Dude, Chesapeake Bay Retriever is perfect.
It'd be sick. You just have a dog and just like he just walking on water.
There it is.

Speaker 1 And instead of having just one dog mascot, you have like 20 of them that run out on the field before the game. Yes.
And take shits all over the pitch, all over the pitch.

Speaker 1 Lean into what the internet likes: dogs. And water.

Speaker 1 And cats on occasion. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're not going to want that. Unless they're like ferocious, like lions or tigers.
Or unless we're giving one to Hank because Duke lost. That's another cat that people likes.
Yes. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 So we've given you enough, I think. One of these names is going to be the expansion team.
The Water Dogs are going to be the name. I'm excited for it.
We're all excited for it. Go Water Dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in 2020, Paul Rabel. Let's get you guys on the NBC broadcast this time.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Not during college football. Or when you're having your second kid.
Correct. Not happening for a while.
Don't do that. Fuck, that would suck that happen right away.

Speaker 1 Okay, Paul Rabel, thank you so much. And we'll let everyone know because we're going to sell a shitload of merch.
Hell Hell yeah. We are really going to sell a ton of work.
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 As long as it's not the phenom. If it's the phenom, we're going to burn the merch.
That's fucked up. It's you.
Paul gave you that. He gave you that.
Yeah, he did. That's fucked up.

Speaker 1 That interview with Paul Rabel was brought to you by Give It Up for Chicago.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht.
And the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Manascalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go on the road.

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice. I just tossed that one in there.
Nice. That was nice.
That sounded nice. Let's do some segments.
By the way, I just got

Speaker 1 an email.

Speaker 1 The Money Line, Can't Lose Money Line parlay at Bet MGM is boosted to plus 150. Oh, shit.
So Colts, Rams, Packers, plus 150. Damn.
That's going to be nice. First up, we got Firefest.

Speaker 1 Hank, is your Fire Fest that you're so high you can't figure out how to do Firefest? No.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I said, no. Oh, go ahead.
Okay.

Speaker 1 My Firefest, it's been like a week and a half long thing. I just fixed it the other day, but I lost my headphones, and for a week and a half, I've just been coming to and from work without headphones.

Speaker 1 That's the worst. And

Speaker 1 I forget. I

Speaker 1 go to work, and obviously I wait till the last minute so I like time it out. So I have to leave right when I leave.
Otherwise, I'll be late. Yep.
So then by the time I remember, I'm like, fuck.

Speaker 1 And then when I'm leaving work, all the stores are closed. And I'm like, fuck, I'll do it in the morning.
And then I forget. And

Speaker 1 it took a week and a half of commuting with no headphones. It was

Speaker 1 like a psychopath every single morning.

Speaker 1 I would rather forget my shoes than forget my headphones. I would honestly just, I would buy, I would pay like as much money as I had in my pocket to get headphones right away.
Yes.

Speaker 1 But what do you do at like two o'clock in the morning? Can't really do anything.

Speaker 1 The great thing about headphones, sometimes you guys ever do this where you're on your commute and you realize that you haven't actually played in the audio.

Speaker 1 There's no like podcast or music going, but you still have your headphones. Oh, yeah.
And it's still great. Yes.
Because everyone around you thinks that you're listening to something cool. Yes.

Speaker 1 And you get to drown out the noises of everything that's not in your own brain. Agreed.
Agreed. Big time.
That's crazy. My other one is my coworker is a marijuana shamer.
Who?

Speaker 1 And a drug dealer is the other one. Yeah.
So you're kind of stuck in the middle. Uh-huh.
That sucks. That is tough.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not a marijuana shamer. I just, I'm just.

Speaker 1 Oh, I feel ashamed. I'm feeling shamed.
I just want you to admit that you're high.

Speaker 1 I'm a drug dealer. I'm my bake.
Yeah, that's good. I want you to be.
I don't want you to deny it. I gave Hank his first taste for free.
I wish I was next to you right now. I was going to cost you.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I gave you one too.
I know, I didn't eat it. I didn't know we were doing a fucking part of my bake.
We're not. Which we're long overdue.
Hank, we are. Hank is

Speaker 1 personal right now.

Speaker 1 Is it legal? Honestly,

Speaker 1 when you just

Speaker 1 hand people brownie. Here's a brownie.
Like, I cannot, I'm not, I'm not a saver. I was a dog.
I was eating chocolate. I was proud of my baking skills.

Speaker 1 He knows it's going to poison his brain, but he's still eat it.

Speaker 1 Okay, PFT, your fire fest.

Speaker 1 My fire fest of the week is my teams are so good at sports that I have to stay up late all the time, and I haven't been able to get healthy, and I've been trying to shake off this cold for a week and a half.

Speaker 1 And it's not that I'm always having these Nyquil thoughts. I'm just always in a state of like halfway conscious and halfway just hallucinating my way through life.

Speaker 1 For the last 11 days, I think I've gotten about an average of two and a half to three hours of sleep each night

Speaker 1 from coughing. So

Speaker 1 I'm struggling through it, I'm playing hurt, but you gave me the suggestion to go to the doctor. I hadn't thought about doing that.

Speaker 1 Get some codeine, I don't even know how to go to the doctor, get some codeine, and then I give Hank a taste of it for free. Hell yeah, get him fucking hooked on it.

Speaker 1 And then every single take-on-me mashup at the end will be like,

Speaker 1 chopped and screwed. Boom.
Yep. Do you think doing the voluntarily doing Edward 40 hands like

Speaker 1 that at all? It's tough to be like, man,

Speaker 1 I'm so tired. I've been working so much.
Hey, let me drink 80 ounces of beer

Speaker 1 and then complain about being sick. Well, that was an interesting one because.
That's like a 20, that's like a 19-year-old move. And so I knew that it was going to be a blowout for the Nationals.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. And I wanted people to tune into the stream because I'm a company man.
But you had finished the beer,

Speaker 1 it was a blowout. Yeah, but I knew knew it was going to be a blowout anyways.

Speaker 1 But I just figured that the best way to do that, to give the viewers at home a little extra visual treat, would be to do something like duct tape 40s to each hand. Got it.

Speaker 1 Something I haven't done since I was 22. Yeah.
Yeah, it's tough to be like, poor me, I'm sick. But alcohol also kills germs.
Yes, definitely does. Definitely does.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest is I've had a squeak in my shoe all week. I don't really know what to do.
That is tough. It's everywhere I walk.
Everyone's just like, here come squeaky shoes.

Speaker 1 Give me a little back back and forth. No, I actually

Speaker 1 stopped wearing them, the shoes that have the squeak. I switched today.
No, because I couldn't handle the squeak anymore. So I've been wearing.

Speaker 1 He's like, you have a Hey Arnold closet of air tech challenges where it's like a shame. No, that's not a shame.
That's a. Inspector Gadget is really what my R generation would understand.

Speaker 1 That's not a shame at all.

Speaker 1 But here's true. No, the Air Tech Challenges aren't the squeaky ones.

Speaker 1 So that's actually the lesson is I should never go off the Air Tech Challenge because they've never squeaked on me. Having a squeaky shoe though, it's annoying.
Everyone looks at you too.

Speaker 1 They're like, dude, is that you? Is that you squeaking? And you can't do anything about it. You're ruining everyone else's day.
People said it's baking soda. I don't know.
Where would you put it?

Speaker 1 That's just a trick. In the shoe? Baking soda.
The marketing team behind Big Baking Soda did such a great job for convincing everyone that it cures everything. Cures everything.

Speaker 1 And if you have a science project with volcanoes, you're good. If you have baking soda and

Speaker 1 wow, okay. Pyrex.
If you have baking soda and like apple cider vinegar, according to 90% of mom's Facebook pages, you will be able to fix everything. And duct tape.
Throw in duct tape. Duct tape.

Speaker 1 There it is. For the dad.
For everything. Okay, let's go.
Let's finish up with a couple segments that we'll do our FAQs with a very special guest. First up, we have Trouble in Paradise.
Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 Adam Schefter is reporting that it's the least likely thing is for him to finish with the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Now, this is...

Speaker 1 I'm going to give credit to Get Up and ESPN because they basically got halfway through the season and the Patriots haven't lost yet. So they can't do the Are the Patriots done?

Speaker 1 So instead they're doing, is Tom Brady going to go somewhere else?

Speaker 1 King Stay King. Now

Speaker 1 if you look at the facts behind it, Adam Schefter said he is selling his house. Which has been known.
Adam Schefter's selling his house.

Speaker 1 His only house actually probably has like seven, but he's selling one of his homes. His trainer is selling his house.
So start to connect the dots right there.

Speaker 1 And then this offseason, when he restructured, you know how he always restructures so that the Patriots can cheat and pay him less money, but secretly pay him more? Yep.

Speaker 1 This time, he demanded that they take out the ability to franchise or transition tag him, which he's never done before in all of his restructuring.

Speaker 1 So you can see pretty easily by those three facts that Tom Brady is going to be the quarterback for the Los Angeles Chargers next year.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I was going to say how funny it would be if he just went to San Francisco and was like, I want to finish my hometown team. Jimmy, you're out.
Just cucks Jimmy again. That would be hilarious.

Speaker 1 It would be money. Yes.
Yeah. What if he went to vegas that would be cool that would be the nfl needs a winner in vegas that's true to uh i almost called you tom hank are you worried at all no okay

Speaker 1 what if he goes to the jets he would never ever the giants the dolphins he would never go any of these places so i'm not worried at all where would he most likely go the chargers actually wouldn't be that crazy

Speaker 1 thing is it's like credit to cuz yeah

Speaker 1 there's a five percent chance of that happening that's that's where i'd put it at so the five is

Speaker 1 you bet bigger money lines. Yeah.
Yeah. You have.
I started to panic this morning because I read that Philip Rivers is in the last year of his contract. Oh.
I didn't realize. And he stinks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that too. But, Hank,

Speaker 1 would you say that there's any truth whatsoever to these rumors?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, the house stuff has been out there since before the season. We talked about it in the summer, and it is exactly what Big Kat said, where it's like, they're dominating teams.

Speaker 1 They're undefeated. What are you going to say? Let's just make this up.

Speaker 1 Push them news.

Speaker 1 All you can do is respect. Scheffer said it twice, though.
He doubled down on it. I don't think Schefter.

Speaker 1 I don't like Schefter as a, I think he's a good, honest, PJ journalist, but the fact that he has to, like, take it.

Speaker 1 It comes down from the top. You're like, Schefter, like, put this out there.
We need, we need to push ratings, and he does it still. That makes me sad.
They do.

Speaker 1 You're better than that, Adam. They do do this thing.
It's so great. The best was the Colin Kaepernick one a few years ago when

Speaker 1 one ESPN reporter reports something or has an opinion on something, and then they report on the opinion, and then they basically get 24-hour news segments. I think Jaws was the one who said that.

Speaker 1 Jaws Kaepernick was the best quarterback in the NFL, and then they basically had it on the bottom line. Like, is Colin Kaepernick the best quarterback in the NFL? The guys debate it later.

Speaker 1 Not only that, he said the best in the history. He could be the best to ever play the game.

Speaker 1 And it was like 24 hours of then you go on another show to defend your take, and then somebody makes content out of that appearance that you had. Genius.
It is very genius.

Speaker 1 So I'll say this about Adam Schafter and his appearances are Get Up. However, I think it's beneath Adam Schefter to appear.

Speaker 1 It's hard to be beneath him. Yeah, well, the New York studio is beneath him because when he goes on that show, he doesn't wear the tie.

Speaker 1 When I see Adam Schefter reporting about the NFL, I want him in Bristol in front of like a giant metallic, like 70-foot HD screen that they paid $100 million for.

Speaker 1 That's where Adam Schefter needs to be. Not with like, you know, his arm around Greenie with a little tugboat going up and down the East River in the the background.

Speaker 1 That's not, that's beneath you, Adam.

Speaker 1 And what I'm doing right here is I'm just making Adam Schefter's life miserable because if enough people say that, then he'll just have to keep going to Connecticut.

Speaker 1 And mention that he's got a pee all the time. Yeah.
That's a lot of traveling if you have to go all the way to Connecticut. It is.
It's a lot of pee stuff.

Speaker 1 You've got to stay diped up in the back of a lot of town cars. Dype it up.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do FAQs.

Speaker 1 We have Inwalked. We're about to get ready to interview Dog, which Dog the Bounty Hunter, which is coming next week.
And before Dog walks in, in walks a ghost of PMT past. It is Jillie football.

Speaker 1 Where have you been?

Speaker 1 Patna Jilli's paws.

Speaker 1 Vacation.

Speaker 7 Vacation. I've been,

Speaker 7 they had to take me away because I was so depressed. Yep.
I had to, you know, I think they took me to Bellevue.

Speaker 1 Okay. And.
Is that the mental hospital?

Speaker 7 That's a mental hospital. I, you know, I had a mental breakdown when I left here.

Speaker 1 Leonardo DiCaprio was actually the mental patient the whole time. Yeah.
That's true. Yeah.
That's true. So

Speaker 1 you went to Europe. You went to Prague.
Prague. Prague.
Prague.

Speaker 7 Beautiful country. Beautiful city.
Did you go to the Lord?

Speaker 1 In the Czech Republic.

Speaker 1 That's Amsterdam. Hello.

Speaker 1 Not that I would know.

Speaker 7 Yeah, not that you would know.

Speaker 7 You know, I don't know that I did. I could have.
Don't know. I went a lot of places that I don't remember.

Speaker 1 What's the food like in Czechoslovakia?

Speaker 7 They're known for their

Speaker 1 gulas.

Speaker 1 I know you think of Hungarian goulash. I do.
You're right. I do.

Speaker 7 But this is,

Speaker 7 it is,

Speaker 1 I don't know, I can't say. Non-Hungarian gulash.

Speaker 7 Well, they say the Czech Republic or Czechoslovakia originally is the home of gulash.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Because it is an amazing dish.

Speaker 1 Beer, beer, beer. everywhere.
Were they celebrating Oktoberfest over there?

Speaker 7 Not yet.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's a longer later. I was wondering, because I thought thought you saw that.

Speaker 7 Actually, I was in October. Uh-huh.
And but that wasn't a big deal.

Speaker 1 I thought I saw you in that video that we posted

Speaker 1 viral. Yeah.
You should check it out. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do some FAQs. All right.

Speaker 7 You didn't write it.

Speaker 1 I'm a high school football offensive coordinator. I was doing a jelly pause.
Okay. First play call of our next game is yours.
What do you got? They said I'll do it. Shovel pass.
Shovel pass.

Speaker 1 Shovel pass. Can we do a shovel pass? What? I need to know some specifics about this.
Is it seven on seven? Is it full football? Shovel pass.

Speaker 1 What personnel are we running? Just do a shovel pass. Here's what you do.

Speaker 7 I don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 Do a shovel pass. What's your favorite play in football?

Speaker 1 Shovel pass. Shovel pass.

Speaker 1 Shovel pass.

Speaker 1 Do a shovel pass out of 13 personnel. There we go.
Shovel pass.

Speaker 1 Is taking a guy like Joe Buck and making him likable and showing a side to him nobody thought he had the best success you can have as a podcast? Yeah. Not say getting paid.
$75,000?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's when the direct deposit hits. Nut.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 and when we do the Joe Buck interview, did you listen to Joe Buck? Do you like him?

Speaker 7 I love Joe Buck.

Speaker 1 Okay, so when we do the Joe Buck interview, he pays us a bonus $75,000 each. How many episodes have you listened since you left, Jill?

Speaker 1 Next episode. Well,

Speaker 7 they wouldn't let me have anything in the hospital.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 7 Good point. And, of course, when I was in Europe, my phone wasn't working.
So

Speaker 1 there you go. I downloaded it, and it was all in checklist of options.
Yeah, good point. That'd be pretty cool if that's what happened, huh? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Well, I forgot to

Speaker 1 notify my carrier that I was going to be awarded. You fall off the grid.
I want to get away from that. Have you been cleaning up a Twitter or have you fallen off on that as well?

Speaker 7 No, I'm still doing Twitter. Going viral? I've done a few things.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys.

Speaker 1 Not to brag, but I have a pretty sweet 3 TV setup for NFL Sundays. I have a friend who invites himself over every Sunday, comes over empty-handed, and stays from 10 a.m.
Nope.

Speaker 1 West Coast time until 8 p.m. when Sunday night ends.
How do I tell him to take a few Sundays off without being an asshole? Just tell me you're not going to be there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just say that you're going to a friend's house. You don't know him.
Yeah. He's from Canada.
That's a tough spot because I used to have...

Speaker 1 When I was in Chicago, I used to have all the friends come over for Sunday and watch every single game at my house because I had multiple TVs.

Speaker 1 But you have to be good enough friends that you don't care that they're in your house. Like some of my friends would come over and just take a nap and I wouldn't care.

Speaker 1 Or I'd take a nap and they they wouldn't care. So you need that.
To spend an entire Sunday, it needs to be such a friendship that you can just not talk to each other.

Speaker 1 You're just in the presence of each other. Yeah, so one way to go would be to just order a lot of really shitty food.
Like maybe have a terrible experience one Sunday at your house.

Speaker 1 Maybe have two of the TVs mysteriously not work for some reason. Right.
Or your cable's out. And it's stuck on the Jaguars Jets game and you both have to sit there watching it the entire time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're sabotaging yourself as well. For one, yeah, but you know what? Sometimes to get to heaven, you got to to walk through a little bit of hell.
It's true.

Speaker 1 And you need to know when to cut people off in your life. And it sounds like this guy might be a cut-off situation.
The other option is just pull all the blinds down and the shutters.

Speaker 1 And then just act like you're not home. Just turn all the lights on.
Tell them to bring food. Yeah, or do that.
Or just be. Well, Jill brings up a good point.

Speaker 1 Is the big problem here that you don't like the guy, or is it that he just doesn't bring food? It's both. You got to fix both.
Fix both.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 what's up, drug guy PFT and Slim Cat? Oh!

Speaker 1 I'm going up to an amusement park this weekend that does a Halloween theme. Should I eat some shrooms and go on the rides?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think that's a big.
That's going to be a no for me, dog. Okay.
It's.

Speaker 1 I can't think of anything worse, actually, than taking shrooms and going on a roller coaster. Ooh, you get sick.
Taking LSD and going on a roller coaster? Good point.

Speaker 1 Watch, it could be. Oh, we got breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Breaking moves. The Houston Astros have fired Assistant General Manager Brandon Taubman.
Oh, so

Speaker 1 they're doing this

Speaker 1 trying to change the narrative. Yeah, well, no,

Speaker 1 the karma is they're trying to win the karma back so they can win some games. Too late.
Too late. Too late.
Too breaking.

Speaker 1 Breaking moves is brought to you by Chocolate Milk for re-recovery that tastes real good. Has anyone handled something worse than the Astros in this?

Speaker 1 No, I was saying that denying, trying to do misinformation, then doing a half apology, then then doing a half apology of the half apology, then firing the guy.

Speaker 1 It's become very clear to me that every organization, a vice president of PR, is not cutting it anymore. Every big company needs to have a vice president of apologies.
Just a vice president of sorry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hire the most polite Canadian you can find, put them in that position, have them look over every time you want to tweet out a notes app apology.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Look it over, edit it, and say, no, this is a crock of shit. Just say you're sorry

Speaker 1 and that you fucked up. Sorry goes a along with it.
That's it.

Speaker 1 I have a question.

Speaker 1 What

Speaker 7 does the firing of him... What does it mean?

Speaker 1 It means that the Astros potentially have a chance to come back in this series. It doesn't.
Why?

Speaker 1 Because they had really bad karma going. That's not what it means.
Because the guy was a fucking piece of shit and they were trying to defend him.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 It's like basically just, they basically did an exorcism on themselves.

Speaker 1 They're trying. This is a panic move.
Okay. Sup Natitude, dudes.
Who decided how to make words plural? Like, why is it mouse and mice, but not moose and mees?

Speaker 1 Goose becomes geese, but fish doesn't become fish?

Speaker 1 Noah. When he got two of every one of them on the arc.
At that point, he said, I have the opportunity to rebrand all of you, and he did. Yeah.
What am I going to call you?

Speaker 1 I never seen two of you at the same time.

Speaker 1 Shit. Mind-blown.

Speaker 1 Alright, we'll end with this one. Would you rather have front row tickets to this Monday night's Dolphins vs.
Steelers game or a $15 Amazon gift card? Is duck playing? Nope.

Speaker 1 I think Mason Rudolph's back. Yeah, so definitely playing with the game.
But the Duck was electric, though. Yes.
Great, great big Buck Hunter player. Definitely the gift card.
Not even a question.

Speaker 1 How close am I going to be sending a duck? Front row. Front row's terrible at football games.
Duck, you're listening right now.

Speaker 1 Let me know how close if we're going to be hanging out during the game or not, and then I can answer. I would say I would have to.

Speaker 1 It would have to.

Speaker 1 The hypothetical would be like, you can either pay $500 or you have to go.

Speaker 1 Then I would maybe go. Here's the thing: I think I would go to the game as long as I didn't have to actually go to the game, meaning like

Speaker 1 transport myself there. You just snap your fingers when you're there.
Snap my fingers. I'm there for the duration of the game, and then I'd do that too because you'd be teleporting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that would be worth it. Yeah, true.
Yeah. You'd have some story to tell later.
Okay, we will see everyone Sunday. Remember, Witching Hour.

Speaker 1 And whoever lost the game, listen to the alternate ending right after this because we're going to do it right now. I love you guys.

Speaker 1 I don't know what about to say I'll say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's your day to find

Speaker 1 shy.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Today is your

Speaker 1 day.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 Stay after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 How drink you let me say

Speaker 1 it life of just a blame that buries away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you, anyway.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me. Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 Take on me. Part of me.

Speaker 1 drink of me.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Put in code Barstall. You get $5

Speaker 1 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Friday, October 25th,

Speaker 1 and the Washington Redskins have shocked the world.

Speaker 1 17-point underdogs, they went outright. Yep, it shades of last year when the Buffalo Bills went into Minnesota as 17-point underdogs and went outright.

Speaker 1 So that dun chain is hanging pretty heavy around the necks of the Minnesota Vikings. I think you all owe me an apology.
Question, PFT. Yep.
Is Washington, D.C. sports having a moment?

Speaker 1 Well, let's embrace debate. I think they are having a moment right now.
What kind of moment? What is a moment? Are they in? I think

Speaker 1 this is a seminal moment in D.C. history, right? But don't do the

Speaker 1 Native American and Native American seminars. No, seminal, as in like

Speaker 1 Linux. They already do the Redskins built on the Seminoles.
Yeah, yeah. No, so this is a big moment for D.C.
Sports right now.

Speaker 1 The revenge enacted against Kirk Cousins was so, it was beautiful to watch. I cannot believe they lost that game.
Like, how do you lose to the Washington Redskins? Well, actually, I know how you lose.

Speaker 1 You have Kirk Cousins on a primetime game. That's exactly right.
And then you have Callahan running the ball 90 times.

Speaker 1 And Dalvin Cook, I don't know if his leg is still attached, but that was gruesome.

Speaker 1 You know what's sad is what's happened to the usage of Kyle Rudolph. Yes.
Because he's a great tight end. It would be awesome if he had a good quarterback.
But why would you have him kick field goals?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. It makes no sense.
Absolutely. Mike Zimmer, you've lost your brain.

Speaker 1 Mike Zimmer, I think that he needs two eye patches now because his retinas are just so burnt out from staring in a heat lamp all day. Right.
It's tough.

Speaker 1 It's tough for the good people of Minnesota because I like Minnesota's. I feel bad.

Speaker 1 This is like they were 5-2 rolling into this game, then boom,

Speaker 1 everything falls apart.

Speaker 1 And now you have to ask yourself questions about like what's the future mike zimmer i think you got to blow the whole thing up blow the whole thing up and then you can't have a loss like this especially when you feel like maybe you're getting everything right and then you take a such a big step back yeah i think it's hit the reset button trade everyone start over also massive credit to dan snyder for putting together this team for making sure that his boys stay on track two wins after jay grudin's firing i mean he might have the it might be an interim head coach steps into the full-time calahan because i don't think anyone else is going to want to take that job and no one thought he was going to run the ball 60 times, but he did.

Speaker 1 He did ran the ball 60 times with Adrian Peterson. He averaged two yards of carry for 120 yards.
It's been a goal of his for his entire life to do that to a running back at some point. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's get to the Nationals.