NFL Week 7 Fastest 2 Minutes + Recap, Big Cat Lost Everything And Football Guy Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, football, week seven, recap, fastest two minutes, we're going to talk a little college football. Tua got hurt, that's a big news.
We're going to do a little who's back of the week, little football guy of the week.

It was a terrible weekend of football, but we're going to recap it all.

Two is really the big story.

I'm going to put on my smiley face.

I'm like the Joker.

Just cut my fucking face open.

Let it bleed out.

You want to know how I got these scars?

What's the whole, what's the fucking point of watching sports anymore?

All right.

That's why Lovie Smith grows that big beard so you can't see his Joker scar. That's exactly why.
Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat. Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.
Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit

Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for email.

And weather whatever in Ariat Work to be done No place to hang I love washing And then I can't Live all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock. Down to Electric Avenue.
It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Spooners. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash App.
Go download it right now, use code BARSTool to get $5 for free. $5 to ASPCA.
Today is Monday, October 21st. Week 7.
What? What? What? What? In Atlanta, where the Falcons are so dead, they've checked into Arthur Blank's ghost hotel.

Jared David Hasselgoff put down the drunken burgers and went back to throwing darts with his lieutenant, Mitch Buchanan.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Do not visit your pregnant girlfriend. Go directly to jail.

In Ramsey. Had a monopoly on the Falcons passing attack.
Hey, Teej. Yeah, boom.
Dan Quinn, more like Dan Finn. Because this movie is over.
Rams 37, Falcons 10. Whip! Whip! Whip! In Cincinnati, where D.D.
Kanye Westbrook put on a Sunday service. Even though Andy Dalton stuck around for graduation at TCU, it was the college dropout Leonard Fournette who had a great game.
Josh Lambeau, Gini Mercy went 4-4 with his kicks. And you know what the Midwest is? Dalton's reckless.
The Bengals rockin' down chain. That's a heavy necklace.
And it's 80-weight and heartbreaks in Cincinnati yet again. Jaguars 27.
The Bengals 17. Some spread In Detroit, home of the queen and my good friend, rest in peace, Aretha Franklin, where Adam sang to Kirk, You make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like my hamstrings are hurting.
Kirk Cousins was getting no R-E-S-P-E-C-T as he sucked it to the, sucked it to the, sucked it to the haters yet again with a big road divisional win. Dalvin Sam Cooke kept the chain gang moving and the Lions season might be signed, sealed, delivered halfway through October as they're all out of mo.
Town. Vikings 42, Lions 30.
Whip, whips, whips. Brown University, Brown University, Brown University.
It is clear that the entire fishing fleet for sharks in Peru is involved in a systematic killing of dolphins. The numbers are ranging from 7,000 to 15,000 dolphins per year, being very conservative.
No one murders the Dolphins like the Buffalo Bills.

What?

In Indianapolis, where Eric Ebron James, not trying to get into a sentence battle,

treated the Houston secondary like a bunch of Daryl Moreys.

Frank, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my Reich,

has the wheels in motion for an AFC South crowd after a big day from his Colts.

The Texans had no answer for Indy's rushing game. As Bill O'Brien said, I like big buttchins, but I cannot lie.
Baby got Marlon Mack. Indy 30.
Houston 23. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? In the Meadowlands, where Kyler Bill Murray was popping up everywhere and Chase Jim Edmonds continues his illustrious career with the Cardinals, running through defensive walls with 136 yards and three scores, making his real housewife of OC very happy.
Golden, Kobe tell me how my ass, Tate, has been a security blanket for Danny Dimes, but the Giants weren't able to rebound even with the round mound of quads, Saquon Charles Barkley back in the lineup, as the Cardinals defense was able to slice and dice their way into more sacks than Antonio Camardi's urologist. Cardinals 27, the G-Men.
21, the New York Football Giants. In the frozen tundra where the Raiders met the Packers, Darren Ravel Waller put up huge stats, but ultimately walked away the loser that he is.
And Aaron Ravel Rogers said, this is not your content. The Raiders secondary was leaky as Marquez Exxon Valdez Scantling was slicker than an oil spill, dumping 133 yards on them, leaving Derek Carr out of gas for a comeback.
Josh, my darling Jacobs, met the Packers defense and looked pretty jilly indeed.

The story of the day was the Packers defense blanking bad

as Martinez cooked up a large amount of speed and really messed things up for the Raiders.

Packers, 42.

The Raiders, 24.

Enroll, John.

This game sucks. Why did he hit his bong? 49ers 9, Redskins 0.
We finish in Nashville where the Chargers had the M&M's cooking as Mike Williams and Melvin, your mouth, not in your hand, Gordon, missed the end zone by the length of a thin candy shell. Your brain has a thin candy shell.
Hey, Trey Wingo, get out of the studio. We're working here.
Ryan Tan, Hillary Swank played like a million-dollar baby on his last healthy leg for the Titans. Speaking of healthy legs, Derrick Rose Henry had another big game on the ground, and the Titans' season has saved thanks to a goal line stand.
So don't get too attached to that penis just yet, Coach Frabel. Titans 23, the Chargers 20.
All right. Week 7, almost in the books.
Got one left. Got one left for us.
I'm wearing a hat that says I am a messy bitch because I am a messy bitch after this weekend of football. But we're here to recap all of it.
We are here. Actually, if you're watching, you can see the messy bitch hat on BarstowGold.com slash part of my take slash PMT slash PMT BarstowGold.com slash PMT.
Okay, let's recap. Let's start with Sunday night.
Okay. And then we'll go back to the one o'clocks the Eagles might be done chain PFT one game out but they stink the entire NFC East I have no idea what to make of it besides the fact that the R words are done uh the rest of the division it's just like anybody could beat anybody on any given time because I I going into this game I thought the Eagles were going to Me too.
Me too. But their defense is atrocious.

I don't think it's Carson Wentz's fault but a guy who you let walk away won a Super Bowl for you and so everyone's gonna probably blame Carson Wentz and then the Cowboys like I can't I wouldn't be shocked if the Cowboys lost all their games the rest of the season I wouldn't shock me if they won out it wouldn't shock me yeah they make no sense when they look good they look like the best team in the NFL and when they look bad they look so so bad even when they look good Jason Garrett looks like shit I've noticed by the way Sunday Night Football I think we've reached our quota of close-up shots of Jason Garrett on the sideline yeah With his red eyes looking like he's been smoking weed and crying at the bottom of a public pool.

I was about done with that by the second quarter.

I'm sure we have like six more Cowboys.

We probably do.

Then they're all against the Giants somehow. Yeah, right.

But yeah, I don't know how.

There are certain losses you can walk away from and be like, okay, maybe we have a chance.

But now the Eagles have gone back-to games where the Vikings torch them and the Cowboys a little bit of help by the fact that they just gave over, you know, gave up the ball on back to back opening. Was it back to back opening drive? Yeah.
It was a fumbled and then a pick, right? Well, right off the bat, it's like they spotted the Cowboys 14 points. So tough to tough for your defense to do stuff when you when you have that and basically the cowboys when the cowboys are running from ahead it's like that you cannot stop them but if you're an eagles fan i don't know i don't know what they do and i i'd be mad at their i'd be mad at howie roseman for not trading for jalen ramsey oh they still are they still are during the rams game today i bunch of Eagles fans' tweets being like, look what we could have had with Jalen Ramsey right now.
You could have. And their secondary is hilarious when it comes to tackling, especially on those first two drives.
You can even call them drives. It was like three plays total.
Right. And nine missed tackles during them.
And Orlando Skandrick looking like he was a double agent, looking like he was sent over from the Cowboys for the express purpose of losing games against the Cowboys for the Eagles. He just got turned around.
Everybody on the Eagles' defense looked like they were trying to tackle Barry Sanders. Right.
And so Warren Sharp had a friend. By the way, Warren Sharp, I realized this weekend watching the Titans game, Vrabel looks like Warren Sharp after like 20 cycles of steroids.
steroids yeah and like a bunch of steaks yeah um all right so first half points given up by the eagles this year they've given up 20 plus points in five of the games that's bad and one of them you got to throw out because it's luke falk yeah that doesn't that doesn't count so he had they they held them scoreless which that shouldn't count so they've given've given up 20, 10, 20, 20, 24, 27. I mean, I don't know what you do with that.
You basically can't. So that's the part where I don't even know if you can blame Carson Wentz because he's basically playing from behind constantly and always in a huge hole.
So the offense has to do different things. I also want to just note uh Nelson Aguilar he's gonna get roasted in Philadelphia because that business decision he made at the end of the game where he very easily I feel like could have caught the ball and I don't know what he saw but he just pulled back wide open would have been a touchdown every Eagles team has to have one Todd Pinkston on the team and Aguilar is the Todd Pinkston one guy that everyone in Philly is just waking up in the morning and uh you know they they turn over and they just start yelling at their dumpster about how bad that that wide receiver I can't wait to see what disaster is taking place overnight in Philly that we'll have somebody on the news yelling at Nelson Aguilar tomorrow morning taking their one moment their 15 seconds you know seconds of fame their one moment where they're a local hero hero to use that platform to bash the shittiest wide receiver on the Philadelphia Eagles.
It's a Philadelphia tradition. I actually like it a lot that Philly cares so much about their team.
I think adding a little bit of insult to injury for the Cowboys in the second half when they kept trotting their doctor out onto the field wearing the Cowboy hat. If you're injured and you see a man in a Cowboy hat walking towards you, he's got two options for you.
One is a shot of whiskey and a stick to bite down on, and the other is a gun. His sidearm, like a horse, he's going to put you down.
But it plays. It does play.
It's like Johnny, remember Johnny Manziel's lawyer? One of the many. You're going to need to specify.
A 10-gallon cowboy hat or whatever you call it, and it was, like, that's the guy you're bringing in to get you, keep you out of jail yeah it's like if you're playing in lambo and the guy runs out on the field he's got a cheese head on right that makes sense and he's like 60 pounds overweight you're like okay i trust this guy you know what it's it's like the old uh never trust a skinny chef uh-huh never trust a medical professional in dallas without a cowboy hat on yeah i. Bite down on the stick.
Bite harder, son. Okay, speaking of teams that are dead, let's move on.
We'll go back to the 1 o'clock games. One last question about the Cowboys.
Do you think that a small part of Jerry Jones is pissed off that he doesn't have to answer questions about firing his coach this week? Yes. Yeah, I think so, too.
I think Jerry Jones likes being reminded that he can fire Jason Garrett at any given time given time right i think he'll throw in a subtle some subtle shot like yeah things went well tonight but if they hadn't for the most part they went well yeah there were some things i'd like to see tightened up and i don't know if we have the coaching staff to do it right um all right so back to the one o'clock game speaking of teams that are dead the falcons are dead dead. It is atrocious.
I actually want to throw this out there to you, PFT. Hit me.
Are the Falcons maybe the worst team in the NFL? See, they still have that lingering sense of they were winning in the Super Bowl a couple years ago, so people aren't as inclined to see it. But they are really, really bad.
Their defense is one of the worst I've ever seen. And I know the answer is going to be obviously the dolphins and the bengals both teams that are historically bad yep and they haven't won but the dolphins have at least been competitive in their last two games the bengals have been competitive a couple times this year the the falcons have lost their last four games 24 to 10 to the titans they got smoked by the Texans.
They were competitive against the Cardinals, and they got smoked again. Matt Schaub was the only one who had a touchdown drive for them.
99.8 QBR for Matt Schaub. I fucking love that Matt Schaub's still around.
I love that he's still around. But this team is so, so bad that I don't know.
And, of course, we have Arthur Blank saying, i still support dan quinn he's actually going to break the records for amount of cliches uh saying that you are standing behind your coach that you're definitely going to fire once a bye week no he's definitely literally standing right behind him at all times even in practice doing the yeah the hot air on the back of his neck every day yeah yeah this the defense is so bad dan quinn is trying to spread around responsibility now. He's like, I'm letting other people on my staff take a look at it and put their fingerprints on it.
If I'm like a secondary coach on that defense, I'm like, fuck you, Dan Quinn. This is your mess.
You're not doing the Tom Sawyer whitewashing the fence on me and making me paint shit all over this fence. This is yours.
You own it. And on top of that, Dan Quinn last year took over the play calling duty, which we always know is like the last-ditch effort.
You can always change who calls the plays, whether give it up or take it over to save your job. Mike McCarthy.
He's all out of moves. He's all out of moves.
And I don't know how he has – like the fact that Arthur Blank is waiting to the bye week is kind of funny and kind of admirable, but it's also – there was no one at that game today. They look terrible.
And I don't know. I mean, I'm happy that I quit on them.
I, if you bet on the Falcons past week three, this year, you are the biggest idiot in the world. When did you last bet on them? Week three.
That was it? Even I know, even I know whenever I done chain them, even I knew to stop betting on them, which, which should be a that you've got to stop betting on them. The Falcons' defense is medicine for an anemic offense.
It's just an injection of iron. Actually, better than that, it's like fat camp.
Right. It's like you send your offense to fat camp to play against the Falcons, and when you get them back, they look a little bit better, they feel a little bit better, but then they're just going to go back to being who they are to begin with.
The Falcons make everybody look good. I would love to play against the Falcons if I was an NFL quarterback, which I could have been if I was a little bit taller.
Absolutely. It's the biggest loser.
It's actually such a they're such the biggest loser that I think Scott Mitchell. Remember him? Yeah.
And the Lions who was on the biggest loser. I bet you he could throw two touchdown passes against the Falcons.
I think you probably right now. I've got a name to throw out there.
If you're the Falcons and you're looking at your next head coach, this is the Mike Leach destination. Urban Meyer.
Mike Leach, because the defense already sucks. So you might as well just turn into that skid and say, okay, Mike, we're not going to stop anybody anytime soon.
Why don't you just take over this offense, which has some pieces to it, and just score 60 points and give up 62? The problem with mike leach is he would never in a million years go to the nfl because in the nfl you can't take away the cell phones of your players you can't call them out and say they're fat and call their girlfriends fat and do weird rants all the time so he's that would be the worst fit of all time for him i think if He's going to go anywhere i think that it land why is he going anywhere well everyone keeps bringing his name up all the time for like the nfl yeah i've heard his name a couple times for nfl positions just to say like okay fuck it you know why not why not mike leach why not give him a shot and if you're a coach i'll ask you this if you're an offensive coach wouldn't the falcons be like the best destination no i don't know because they're starting to get old like matt ryan is not going to be there forever and he got hurt today he's in the walking boot i don't know i this seems so dysfunctional that it seems like i i don't know i'd have to let me give you a real football guy answer i have to take a look at their roster and also we don't talk about another man's job because dan quinn is still employed julio jones how old is julio jones i feel like julio jones is gonna have one of those years in a couple like a year or two where it's like oh shit that might be over oh we wasted his yeah he seems like a guy that's been 28 for a couple years right right yeah uh did you see devante freeman get getting dog walked by aaron donald so i actually wrote this down pft what he tried to punch aaron donald which had to be the dumbest thing anyone could ever do. Who is...
I think Aaron Donald's probably top three guys that you wouldn't want to fight on a football field. Yeah.
I was thinking of who else is on that list. Lane Johnson, maybe.
Ray Lewis. Well, I was thinking current players.
Okay. Richie Incognito.
Yeah. Probably wouldn't want to fight him.
Vontaze Perfect. He's not on a football field.
Probably never will be again. And Dominick and Sue.
Yep. That's a good one.
He'd actually just snap your head off. Yeah, and then stomp on your balls while you're, like, dead.
It would be a dirty way of snapping your head off. Right.
Yeah. And then he'd be like, what? Why am I getting a penalty for this? I actually think you should be allowed to punch Aaron Donald.
Why? Because just he's so big. And how else are you going to stop Aaron Donald? It was punching him.
It was a ridiculous visual. He trains knives.
To see Devontae Freeman jump up to try to punch him in the face. That just speaks.
Devontae Freeman getting kicked out of this game. Matt Ryan getting hurt.
Dan Quinn looking like all life has been sucked out of him. Matt Schaub being the best quarterback for the Falcons.
Blake Bortles getting into it. All these things.
The Falcons are dead. So, so dead.
Did we learn anything about the Rams today? No. And we won't next year.
I don't think so. I mean, next week, because they're going to play the Bengals.
So they're on a get-right schedule. Got it.
Yeah. By the way, did Blake throw a pass? No.
He didn't. Fuck.
Didn't throw an interception, though. That's our guy.
Dolphins at Bills. They booed Josh Allen in the first half.
That hurt. Shame didn't know they didn't boo josh allen they booed they booed the scoreboard they booed josh allen pft shame that is that why he better bills fans is that why he threw the ball into the into the stands and probably killed somebody in the second half oh that was way over the stands he did throw he threw it out of the stadium and it lands on a table and smashes it.
That probably hit a satellite somewhere. He also had one throw where it was like maybe 30 yards past his receiver.
But you know what? That's called stretching out the defense. That's called taking the top off because now they know you can throw it that far.
So they have to play farther back. But the Bills are 5-1 for the first time since 2008.
They slept walk through the first basically three quarters of this game and still won kind of easily and ryan fitzpatrick tried his best to do the fitz magic through just a back-breaking interception which is part of fitz magic yeah he did the whole thing so i'm excited the bills are five and one but just don't boo josh out because josh is the perfect quarterback for this team in that I feel like he just makes plays in big moments.

The color rush jerseys look sick today.

Yeah, they did.

Just covered in red.

Say something nice about the Dolphins.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They put together half.

They were winning.

They were winning well on offense.

Yep.

First time this year.

They were almost up two scores because they were driving 14-9,

and that's when Fitzpatrick threw the interception on the goal line. Yep.
They would have been up 21-9. Well, 14-9 is two scores if they're both field goals.
True. They were up two scores today.
They were actually up three over two scores if they were just counting safeties. And if it's, yeah, if they were up five scores, it was just extra points.
They're getting better at tanking without making it obvious that they're tanking. Brian Flores looks pretty fucking badass.
I showed him on the sideline. I was like, I kind of trust that guy.
Okay. Just like a vibe you're getting.
Yeah. I don't know.
I something about him. Like, I think he was wearing a vest of some type.
I don't know. I just, he just looked like a coach to me.
So that's a vest on. Yeah.
That's a big thing. You know, who needs a vest real bad is Rod Marinelli.
Yeah. On the Cowboys.
Don't show anybody over 60 wearing a t-shirt. That's just a good rule of thumb if you're a camera operator.
I love Rod Marinelli. One more nice thing about the Dolphins.
Please. They made it through a whole game without changing quarterbacks.
That's actually huge. That's progress.
And now that their quarterback of the future, Tua, is hurt, they might actually start to play harder because they don't need to tank for it. They might win some games some games, you're saying.
Maybe. No, let's not get carried.
Who do the Bills have? Oh, the Bills have, I think, the R-words and then the Dolphins again coming up. So we've talked about this, but the Bills are going to be – the Bills are going to win 10 games.
Yep. I love it.
Oh. I just – playoff Bills football.
Mm-hmm. Josh Allen, don't you fucking boo.
And there's a possibility they get a home game. Don't you think that's kind of ridiculous? Like, Bills fans, have a reality check.
I don't think they were booing Josh. Well, they were booing the offense.
You guys are 5-1 for the first time since 2008. You're going to boo? They were booing because Red Zone wasn't showing much of their game.
Let's just remember. Like, this is a nice season that's going on.
Don't boo. Okay up jaguars bengals i think it's over for danny dalton in cincinnati yeah it's tough that's it it's tough to watch the end of he's like an old pet that you've had for a while and he's just kind of always been around it's just always as perfect as the red hair and then the helmets and like the color scheme what a waste of a great great uniform hair color combination.
It really, when they wore the all white color rush and it was like the orange popped and his orange pop. He threw, he threw three fourth quarter interceptions in six pass attempts.
That's rock bottom. That is pretty bad.
Uh, we also need to keep an eye on the Joe Nixon or the Joe Nixon stat lines. So they're like the Josh Rosen stat lines, but for running backs.
Today, he had 10 carries for two yards. So good job, Joe Mixon.
Okay. That's pretty nice.
That's about it. That's all you can say for this game.
Leonard Fournette is somehow good at football again. Yes.
It's crazy. Every time they show red zone now, he's actually ripping off runs.
Yeah. It's wild.
I also think that we've kind of answered the Minshew mania. Good, but needs a little more time.
It's Nick Foles' job. He does this thing when he throws passes where it's like he looks like a kid in a middle school cafeteria.
Here we go. No, no, this is what he looks like.
A kid in a middle school cafeteria throwing food and then trying not to get caught right afterwards. He, like, throws it and then down and runs away from his pass.
So, yeah, I think that's almost better, though, because you don't want... I think Nick Foles gives you the best option for the next couple years.
So now you can kind of work on Minshew and bring him in for big moments or trade him and have someone be like, ooh, Minshew mania, who hasn't caught up with the times. I think he was under 50 today yeah but he won he did win but he's a winner that's the biggest stat he's a winner and uh the other thing i wanted to throw out there miles jack had a pick of annie dalton and just threw the ball forward to another defender huh i think that should be legal i think all fumbles and interceptions you should be forward pass it.
I like that idea a lot. How awesome would that be if you basically ran plays? Like if the defense, hey, if we get this ball, I'm going to throw it like 15 yards down the field.
Run a slant. Yeah, you get one.
You get one forward pass. No, I think it's unlimited during the entire return.
Chaos. What about this? What if you catch a flag that's thrown by an official? I think that that flag shouldn't count if you're a defensive player.
So if you catch it or even just keep it, so what if you just tap it up? Maybe you have to tap it up like a volleyball. Tip drill? Yeah, yeah.
You have to tap it to one of your teammates and they can catch it. I like that too.
Because the catch, everyone would be looking for it, and I feel like it would get too easy, so we've got to make it a little harder. Okay.
But, yeah, when Miles Jacks did that, it looked ridiculous, but then I paused and I was like, why is that ridiculous? Why can't we just – they're defenders. They don't know how to throw and catch.
Right. Let's just let them have fun out there.
So, likewise, they should not be able to lateral the ball then. Yes.
I think on every play, the ball should only be allowed to go forward one way only one time right so if they throw a forward pass and you intercept it you can throw as many passes because they're still laterals because you're still on defense right so the ball is allowed to go that way yeah but it just can't go that way the other way yes yes i like that so we figured it out yeah so it can only go one way um vikings lines kirk cousins is all the way back i actually got a text from a friend of mine in minneapolis who's like i think kirk cousins is good this is what's happening and i said oh no this is what's happening i'd actually like to apologize to to vikings fans and to kirk cousins i put the dun chain on them after you did it was aggressive i would like even at the time apologize to kirk cousins to mike simmer to Kirk Cousins. I put the Dunn chain on them after two weeks.
You did. It was aggressive.
I would like to apologize to Kirk Cousins, to Mike Zimmer, to Vikings fans around the world for absolutely nothing because they are going to rip your hearts out in a matter that you have not seen since, well, I guess just Blair Walsh. They're going to go.
I was looking at their schedule. They're going to be 8-3.
Yeah, yeah. Because they have the Redskins They have the Redskins on a short week at home.
Revenge game. At the Chiefs against the Mahomes-less Chiefs.
At the Cowboys, who the fuck knows. And then at home against the Broncos.
They're going to win three out of four of those. They will win three out of four of those.
They will be 8-3. And everyone will say, are the Vikings...
Because they do have tons of talent they have dalvin cook who's a monster and kirk cousins somehow threw four touchdowns but you have prime time kirk cousins this week against the r words so neither one i think he might this might actually break the prime time kirk cousins streak the very stoppable force against the extremely movable object. The Redskins suck in prime time.

Kirk Cousins sucks in prime time.

Obviously, there's a lot of overlap there from the years that he spent in D.C.

both sucking together.

But I don't know.

I'm not ready to – I'm not going to crown Kirk Cousins yet.

I think – I've learned from my mistakes with Kirk Cousins,

and this is exactly what he does.

He gets you thinking that, okay, he's a legitimate quarterback.

He's throwing for four touchdowns. Adam Thielen's hurt.
He still played a really good game against what i thought was a good defense uh but this is right right when you're very certain that kirk is great is when he just pulls the rug out from under i don't i don't disagree that he's going to like morph back into real kirk cousins and put up an absolute stinker in front of the whole country at some point. I think that Dallas game is a prime time as well.

But your Dunchain was aggressive and kind of slapped in the face of all Dunchains.

It was.

It was.

It ruined the Dunchain.

It did not ruin the Dunchain.

You Dunchain the Dunchain.

I did not.

I still stand by the Dunchain.

You got.

I apologize for nothing.

You tried to get in front of the Dunchain and be like, try to showboat the Dunchain.

I thought that I had. Don't respect it.
I thought that I had a take. And instead of squatting on a take, I just put it out there in front of everybody.
I have a question for you. Kirk Cousins, the power of saying sorry.
Because since he has said sorry, he's been incredible. You want to say something to Hank? Power of saying sorry.
Hank, I even forget what I'm apologizing to Hank about. If you say sorry to someone.

Just me having superior football knowledge and prediction skills in 2016.

That's true.

Hank, you had a great 2016.

And?

And?

I'm sorry that I didn't apologize to you in 2016.

No, that doesn't count as a sorry for 2016, though.

It's getting closer, though.

It is.

But wouldn't you say the power of an apology is pretty strong with Kirk Cousins?

He's been a different guy since he said sorry for sucking. It is.
He should just find something new to apologize for every single week. Yeah.
I mean, well, he's still living off his last apology. Yeah.
Everyone kind of is cool with it. I'm trying to figure out.
So the Dunn chain is a sacred totem that we've put on teams in the past. Correct.
Last year, you said that you'd cut your pinky finger off. I'm getting close to making them my hair bet because I still don't have a hair bet.
No, you can't cut your hair, though. You can't.
Who are you to decide, Big Cat? Because it's his look. You're going to cut your pinky off.
Well, everyone knows your pinky. No one cares about my pinky.
Yeah, I don't want you to cut your hair. Would you just cut your hair and just be like regular? Just a normal guy? Yeah.
I feel like you'd lose all your powers. Yeah, like Samson.
Yeah, I actually am nervous about that. No joke.
Okay, I'll reconsider then. I need to think it's something else to do with the Vikings.
It sounds like you might be nervous about it too. And obviously this entire thing that I don't like Kirk Cousins because of what he's done to me in the past.
I've got a very sore spot and bad memories from him. So I am coming at it from a place of being triggered.
So I would like to apologize to Kirk cousins. There you go for hating you so much for good reason.
Um, the other thing with this game, we have to give a hat tip to lions fans. They came out in such great force with the ref costumes.
It was peak NFL humor. The husband and wife who were dressed in ref uniforms and ski masks booing the refs.
That is my NFL. There was guys dressed as clowns in ref uniforms.
There was just a guy dressed in a ref uniform. And I don't even think he was making like a comment about it.
He was wearing lion's hat no glasses to show that he's blind or anything he just was like fuck these guys i look so shitty that if i put a ref's uniform on it's a burn on them that guy just came from footlock that's where he works and he just he just rolled straight into the game i i have to take my hat off to roger goodell for not making ref uniforms publicly available for sale that's a smart move on his part yeah You can't mock him if you can't buy him. It was so peak NFL humor.
The three blind mice and everything. The clown refs were the best.
The clown refs. So credit to you, Lions fans.
Your season's pretty much over and it pretty much ended with the refs because if they win that game against the Packers, it is a butterfly effect thing. I feel like they kind of ran out of gas against the Vikings today.
They got their souls taken. Right.
It's tough to bounce back from that loss. So, yeah.
Credit to you guys, though, for showing up and really fucking with the refs. You guys own them.
All right. Raiders, Packers.
Aaron Rodgers is good. Whatever.
He's very good. He's better than good.
He's MVP. No.
This is MVP Aaron that we're seeing right now. Five touchdowns.
Pretty good. Got the game ball.
By the way, LaFleur, here's a little pro tip for you. Just always give Aaron Rodgers the game ball.
Little gestures like that go a long way. No, because eventually he'll be like, why does he keep giving me the game ball? Is he doing this to fuck with me? You think so? Yeah, Aaron Rodgers.
I mean, that's pretty much how it ended with his family. He's too smart.
He kept giving him gifts. He was like, no, I'm not.
He's like, wait, why are they giving me Christmas gifts? He's going to start asking for the gift receipt for the game ball. Every year they give me Christmas gifts right around the same time.
They say he's too smart, and they have to keep him stimulated. He's like, if you give a Border Collie the same toy over and over again.
again okay so give him something new every game yeah change up the locker room so he doesn't he thinks he's in a new surrounding yeah all the time um i feel i'm happy that everything i thought about the raiders was true you were on the edge of saying the raiders might be for real they almost did it you forgot about they had to win this game yeah it. And Derek Carr, you're a bum.
You're a bum. The Derek Carr rule is what we're calling it now.
They're reaching for the end zone, fumbling through to get a touchback. By the way, I love that rule.
Yes. I think if you don't like that rule, big dump in your pants.
Well, I've always said that the only rule change I would love there is if it was a hoop that you could throw the ball into. Yeah.
And that counts as a touchdown. So it adds a little, but if you don't get it in there, then it's a touchback.

Well,

the end zone is a different place.

The laws of physics and nature and man do not exist in the same way in the

end zone as they do out in the field.

Like if you're reaching for the end zone as an offensive player and the ball

breaks the plane and you get tackled and then fumble the ball,

it's still a touchdown,

right?

So there should be something that counterbalances it for the defense.

The touchback rule I think is great. And it adds in our favorite element of all, which is chaos.
Chaos and Derek Carr being an idiot. Yep.
So I looked it up. Derek Carr has 23 career fumbles since he came in the league.
That's the most in that time period. Uh-huh.
Hand size? Ooh. What is your guess? Nine and a quarter.
Nine and one eight. Oh, that's tiny.
that's tiny tiny that's tiny bro it was big time on his red flags when he was coming out of college i know we i know like the general populace laughs about the hand size thing but time and time again it is true like james fumbles all the time small hands derrick carr fumbles all the time. Small hands.
Yep. So I might just do my draft analysis 100% based on hands.
I don't see a problem with that. Like I don't care about any of your stats.
I don't care how far you can throw. Just give me your hand size.
If it's over nine and three quarters, I'm drafting you. I like that.
I like the stats that you're looking at there. I did see before the game that John Gruden said that they were going all in, that there were going to be buyers at the trade deadline, which I love.
I love. If you give John Gruden just like two or three wins to build off before the trade deadline, he's going to go all in.
I'm excited to see how many first-round picks they're going to try to trade away for like probably, what do you think, Julio Jones? They'd be looking at Julio. Why not? Yeah.
A.J. Green.
Bring back Antonio Brown. Yeah, exactly.
Go all in, John. I want to see what all in John Gruden looks like.
The Raiders. So I know Raiders fans would be mad because we're kind of bashing them, but they are not good.
But Darren Waller and Josh Jacobs are awesome. Very good.
Very, very good. And Alec Engle, too.
And Alec Engle. Green Bay native.
Ooh. There's a big story about that.
Homecoming game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Jimmy Graham is still alive. He is? He actually caught some balls today.
I think that Aaron Rodgers plays better when his receivers kind of stink. Yeah.
Because he's free of the expectation of having to get all of them the ball. He gets all the glory if they win.
If the Packers win a game with marquez valdez scantling as their number one then aaron rogers like i'm the fucking man and he can give them the pouty face you fucked up aaron rogers look and no one can be like dude what are you doing that guy's actually good yep because it's all no names yep i agree with that that's actually i'm i'm all in on that uh theory but yeah i don't know The Packers are fucking good again. What else? They're really good.
Packers are good, and they're fun to watch too, aren't they? No, they aren't. Okay, Texans, Colts.
Ooh, where do I want to start here? How about this? Jacoby Brissett had another stat line that would have made him look like a witch 20 years ago. But nowadays, it's just like, oh, Jacoby Brissett played well.
Yes. 326 yards, four touchdowns.
And I'm squatting on a take. Quentin Nelson is going to catch a touchdown pass sometime this year.
Ooh. Tough from the guard position.
No, they did a thing where he reported as eligible today. Was he playing a tackle or was he? He was as a tackle and he was in the end zone when Eric Gibran caught that touchdown.
He deserves it. Yeah.
He deserves it. Yeah, Jacoby Brissett is way better than I think anyone expected.
Although there were some people who loved him, but I'm stunned that the Colts are as good as they are losing their franchise quarterback three weeks before the season. Now they don't have a guy that's congratulating his opponents when he gets sacked all the time and boosting their confidence.
Is it weird that Andrew Luck is just hanging out around the Colts facility? Is that what he's doing? Yep. Yeah, there was a picture of him with Jacoby Brissett, like just Colts gear hanging out.
That's weird, right? He's coming back. Because I feel like they're going to win just enough games where he's like, ooh, playoff football? Have you ever worked in an office where a guy that quit or retired comes back from time to time? It's weird.
It's a different vibe when they walk back in. Yes.
It's like, what's your angle? What are you doing here? Yeah. Like what? After like the second time, it's like, okay.
Yeah. Like when you come back the first time, it's like, hey, you're back.
Hey, cool. Good to catch up.
And then you come back again and you're just like, wait, what am I doing? All we did was work together. Hank, you kept coming back into work like over and over again after you were no longer employed here, right? Yeah.
That's a situation, though. Yeah.
That's how you get back in the lineup. That's tenacity.
Yes, exactly. Stick-to-itiveness.
Correct. But yeah, Andrew Luck, very weird move.
I don't really understand it. Maybe, I don't know, maybe he's got a prescription for Jim Irsay? I think he's, yeah, that could be it.
That's actually as good a theory as I've heard. I think he's just bored.
Yeah. I think Andrew Luck's just bored.
He's looking for friends to play games with. Here's the other part.
Why does he still live in Indiana? Yeah, I figured he'd be in Berlin by now. Right.
Some place with nice architecture. Pretty much.
I like Indianapolis a lot, so I would live there, but I don't know if I'd live there if I had $50 million or $100 million or whatever he have. I'd visit there.
I would summer in Indy. Yeah, I would summer in there.
Actually, no, flip that. I would go there in the winter because you can walk everywhere indoors.
True, but once late October comes, I'd probably get somewhere a little warmer. Yeah.
I don't know. I would be out of there.
How about Deshaun Watson? You want to talk about the Texans a little bit? In the grass? In the grass. In the grass grass I think there should be a sliding scale for when a quarterback is in the grass depending on who that quarterback is it was what so you think he should be he's never really in the grass he's never really in the grass but then alternatively or you know on the other side of the argument he needs to be protected at all costs that's true I'll give you that but quarterbacks like Andybacks like Andy Dalton, Jameis Winston, Eli, those guys were born in the grasp.
They're in the grasp once they get the ball. Once they can smell a fart from a defender, they are sacked.
And you should blow the whistle immediately. Here's the thing with that play.
And if you missed it, essentially Deshaun Watson made an incredible play. He got out of the grasp of one of the players.
Then then he got smoked but they whistled it down they threw a touchdown to DeAndre Hopkins they should have just huddled up and been like that was pretty cool touchdown yeah agreed like that was just a cool play agreed there should yeah you should be able to overrule that that's what Sky Judge will do for us eventually it was cool Sky Judge will be like yo that was boss yeah like we probably want to put that on highlight tape so let's call that a touchdown they also did in the grass but then still let him get hit which made no sense yeah well so they are you saying they should have called a penalty against i don't know yeah it was weird if you're in the grasp and you blow the whistle and then you get hit right they all this grasp talk doesn't really make a lot of sense to me right it's it's just another rule that's confusing and that people can bitch about the texans unofficial stat from our pmt sabermetrics department uh the texans lead the league in the last five years in losing games where you can walk away and say we didn't lose we beat ourselves oh yeah they are the kings of that i feel like every time they lose it's like well the texans just shot themselves in the foot i would i would back that up to like the last 20 years even when they were getting their asses kicked by peyton manning there were always a couple games where sage rosenfels just goes flipping through the air where it's like oh you should have beat yeah you should have beat him if you just didn't fumble that one ball didn't lose beat ourselves beat ourselves that's bill o'brien that's that's the name of his autobiography i didn't lose it life i just beat myself i beat myself over and that's actually good time yeah That would Bill O'Brien. That's the name of his autobiography.
I didn't lose at life. I just beat myself.
I beat myself. Over.
That's actually a good. All the time.
Yeah. That would be a good name for me too.
Okay. Let's go to Cardinals Giants.
I have something I have to say about Pat Shermer. I think he's a terrible, terrible head coach, and I think he should be fired.
Go off. Okay.
So I'll start with this. After the game, game he said everyone has to be better which is essentially in coach speak throwing your whole team under the bus because of course you could be like well he's included in everyone but most coaches will say i have to be better i have to prepare myself my my guys better it falls on me he said everyone has to be.
So he basically shit down everyone's throat when he has been a terrible coach. And remember we had this theory that Eli Manning was essentially like a body shield for Pat Shermer bad coach takes? Yep.
The one thing that I hate when coaches play to not get blown out, play to not win a game. Two weeks ago, they played the Patriots.
You remember fourth and two, down two scores, Pat Shermer punts. Yep.
This week, fourth and 15 on their own 33, down three points, two timeouts. He goes for it.
He's overcorrecting. He's overcorrecting, and he's not being consistent, and it's so clear that what he did two weeks ago was to basically play so that he could play and be like, hey, we only lost the Patriots by 14, which they end up losing by 21.
And this week, he was like, fuck it. Let's just try to win this here.
And oh, on top of all that, his third timeout, where did it go? It went because he fucking used it before a punt with four minutes left in the game. the other side of things i do like knowing that we as members of the media have such an effect on pat shirmer's brain that he's adapting to gain our acceptance and our love as pundits yes so i i do appreciate that from he also on third and 18 he went for it uh he he called a draw play yeah so he blamed he blamed daniel jones i was gonna say daniel was going to say he blamed Freddie Kitchens.
That would have made more sense. So he threw his quarterback under the bus.
Correct. Okay, I like that.
So he stinks. And I don't think he's a good coach.
And I think he got a nice little fucking Eli Manning year and a half where the Maras, sorry, Mr. Mara, Sir Mara, had him start Eli.

And you could say, well, it's not Pat Shermer's fault.

Eli stinks.

Now, guess what?

Daniel Jones seems to be pretty good.

You have Saquon Barkley.

You had Ingram back.

Golden Tate.

And you stink.

I have a question.

Are we sure that Daniel Jones is good? I would personally like to apologize to Dave Gettleman for giving him credit for drafting Daniel Jones a couple weeks ago. He had a good game against the Bucs.
It was the Bucs game. It was the comeback, and we bet on it.
If they missed the field goal in that game. And if we hadn't bet on it.
And if we hadn't bet on it. Right now, I still kind of have a soft spot for him because I'm like, that guy won me money.
It's the Paxton Lynch law. Yeah, a few weeks ago.
But I don't think he's good. He did get sacked eight times.
And if your offense gives up anything to the defense eight times, I don't care what it is, if the defense is allowed to do something eight times to your quarterback, that's a bad day. That is a bad, bad day.
But I just – I don't know. If you're a Giants fan, the NFC East stinks.
And I know you're not going to win it, but you would have, you know, if you if you win today, you're tied with the Eagles for second place. And you blew it at home to I'm going to give the Cardinals.
And the nice thing about the Cardinals is like whatever we say, good or bad. No one's ever going to tweet us about them because there are no Cardinal fans out there.
But Cortez, Cortez, Cortez and Clue Haywood. And but the Cardinals are are actually putting together something.
I don't know what it is. I haven't really put my finger on it.
They've won three in a row, and it's something. I think they're just weird.
They're weird fun. They're putting together something, but they've beaten probably the three worst teams in the league.
Right. The three of the worst teams in the league.
But they're fun. They're weird.
Right. But they're fun.
They are fun. Which is worth something.
Yeah, and they they've got a tie in their record Which I always enjoy Because it just makes things a little bit more interesting It makes it so you have to do a little bit more math And it's like It's kind of a The tie teams are always just a brain exercise Like how does this work So I can't figure out if the Bears are ahead or behind the Lions They're probably behind Just bank on the on the fact that they're probably behind. I don't know.
But the tie really fucks you up. It does.
It really, really fucks you up. Yeah, so Pat Shermer, if you're a Giants fan, I feel like you have to be mad at Pat Shermer, and you have every right to be mad at Pat Shermer.
You brought up the Bears. You want to go there? No, no, we're going to get there.
We're going through the chronological. Okay.
Don't rush it. Don't go and rush the Bears.
We're going to get there. That's a good tease.
Tune in later. Tune in later.
Pardon my take. Yeah, before we get to the rest of the games, tune in later.
I thought we were working ourselves back. No, no, no.
We started back. We started at the back.
We started at the front. We hit Sunday Night Football.
We did a Native American run. Yes.
Yes. That's exactly what we did.
Got it. You got it? Okay.
So our words next. Wait, before we do that, for...
When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Oh, one last thing.
Pat Shermer reminded me. Kyle Shermer, his son, is going to be the backup quarterback for the Chiefs.
Okay. And speaking of gambling stuff, I think Kyle Shermer is a franchise quarterback.
Why do you say that? Because he covered with Vanderbilt at Notre Dame last year. What are his hands? I don't know.
Can you look up Kyle Shermer's hand size? But that's all it took. He went to Notre Dame.
He covered the spread. Okay.
With Vanderbilt. So would you want him as quarterback of your Chicago Bears? We'll do that later.
Okay. We'll get that.
Okay. 49ers Redskins.
Yes. Fucking awesome weather game.
Smelliest balls game of the year. I loved it.
This is a game where it would have been so much fun to play in as a a kid where everyone's just belly flopping and sliding around the field. Do you know what we got? 8.88.
No! Can't take him. Off my big board.
Disavow. China and Kyle Shermer.
Disavow. This PFT, this was a snow game that was just a little warmer.
That's all it was. Yeah.
It was awesome. I can't believe the Redskins lost on homecoming.
We never lose on homecoming. How many people were in the stands? There were a lot of people in the stands, and I was very confused by that.
So it was a monsoon out. The lower bowl was filled, and if you've been to a game in Raujian in the last 15 years, there's never anybody in the stands.
It was never packed. It was packed.
I think Dan Snyder is getting very angry and upset in his little man cave that the Washington Nationals, Capitals, and Mystics are all doing really well, and so he's paying people to come in, like George Soros is bussing in protesters. He's bussing in fans to sit in the stands, and thank God it was raining out there today because I think the next step is you're going to see Redskins fans lighting themselves on fire like Tibetan monks protesting this game.
And then still no one will care. And then Dan Snyder will light a cigar using your flames.
Like, dude, you lit yourself on fire for nothing. For absolutely nothing.
Yeah, so this was a... I enjoyed watching this game just because fun weather games are the best when you just...
Shit just doesn't look like a real football game. They, uh, I think who was playing quarterback for the, for the case.
Okay. They weren't using them.
Right. I think they threw like 12 times.
Yeah. They threw 12.
Bill Callahan's throwback offense. He almost got sacked on a guy jumping and sliding and then catching up to him on the slide.
Uh huh. And there was another play where the right tackle Morgan Moses just didn't move.
Yes. And he took a sack on that one.
It was a comedy of errors. It was really, really bad.
And they lost to Kyle Shanahan, and Shanahan gave his dad the game ball. So I looked this up.
The Washington Redskins. Here's a fun stat for you.
Okay. This is the third fired coach's son that the Washington Redskins have lost to.
So Scott Turner.

Yep.

Norv Turner was his dad.

They fired Norv Turner.

Scott Turner has beaten the Redskins.

And Brian Schottenheimer has beaten the Redskins.

So they lead the league in dads getting fired and their sons coming back to avenge their

firedness.

I can't wait till Billy Spurrier shows up.

The Oedipus Rexkins is what I'm calling them. Ooh, I like that.
You like that one? I like that a lot. Yeah, they stink.
They're really, really bad. But Bill Callahan doing this like, hey, let's just run the ball, run the ball, run the ball.
I respect it. I like it too.
I respect it. And they covered the spread despite the fact they didn't score a point.
It was, yeah, impressive. That's pretty challenging.
Kentucky did that this weekend too. They lost 21-0 in covering the spread.
The fact that the 49ers didn't cover the spread, I feel like Kyle Shanahan should be put in jail for a week because he talked about revenge, didn't he? Yeah, he did. And if you talk about revenge, you have to cover the spread.
You have to play for the spread. You can't just run the ball out and kick a field goal.
You need to run the ball in the end zone so that you can not only get your revenge, but also get everyone who dumbly thought, hey, he's going to run the score up because he said the word revenge. I don't even know if he even said the word revenge.
He implied it heavily. You implied it.
The implication was there, Kyle Shanahan. You should be locked up.
Yep, agreed. Also, here's another fun stat.
It's been a year since the Redskins won a home game. So that's cool, too.
One year? Over a year. Oh, over a year.
Over a year now since they won a home game. We should say something.
Also, it's a bad, bad day at the office watching this game when the most exciting offensive play comes on Jimmy Garoppolo throwing an interception that pinned the Redskins deeper than they would have been on fourth down.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

We need to say something about the 49ers because people have said we've

quote unquote been sleeping on them.

And by people, I mean George Kittle.

Their defense is pretty, pretty good.

Yeah.

So they have held the last three games.

How many points has the opposing team scored zero today so it's probably more than zero i would guess yeah just a little more than 20 points 10 10 points in the last three games 176 yards passing that's pretty good wait no that's wrong that can't be hundreds no we had no that is right because the they play Rutgers twice? No, they played the Browns, who they killed. They played the Rams, who they killed.
And they played the Redskins, who they killed. Yeah.
So they have been crushing teams. 49ers, this is us respecting you.
And George Kittle specifically. Yes.
This is us respecting you. They are very, very good.
And I believe in them. They're undefeated lastly undefeated with the patriots

so here's here's us respecting you this is it take do like a moment of respect ready plus was it press yeah that was right by the way that's that was right i just looked it up again i'm pressing x right now okay ready one two three respect respect okay that was our moment of respect for the 49ers. Let's go to

the Chargers Titans.

I feel bad

for... Respect.
Respect. Okay, that was our moment of respect for the 49ers.
Let's go to the Chargers Titans. I feel bad for Phil Rivers.
I do, too. It's sad.
It is sad. He plays like I said earlier, he plays football like a dog in a thunderstorm now.
He's just always panicking. He's drooling.
He panics the first quarter. He panics like fourth quarter, Phil Rivers.
It's spread. I don't know how much shorter his throwing motion can get.
He's going to try. He's going to find out how much shorter it can get.
And his face, and he's just motherfreaking all over the place. Because that's the worst part.
Phil Rivers, his anger is so clearly visible. But because he can't swear, it never has an escape.
It's basically a sneeze that he hasn't been able to sneeze his entire life. He just needs to let out one good fuck.
Like he probably is going to flip out at one of his nine kids at some point in like 10 years from now. And everyone's going to stop.
And it's going to be silent around the Rivers household. Like what did dad just say? I hope it's during like one of his kids' weddings.
And he gets up to give the speech and he's just a little too drunk. Right.
Opens up. He He just fucking lights him up and he's not really mad at the kid.
He's mad that Melvin Gordon fumbled on the one-yard line against the Titans in week seven in 2019. Yeah, this game is a different story if Melvin Gordon doesn't fumble on the one-inch line.
And we're probably not saying all these things about Phillip. No, I probably would be because he looked ridiculous for most of the game today.
And the Chargers have done such a good job at never drafting anybody that's a threat to take Phillip Rivers' job that we just know that it's going to be him for the foreseeable future. So the Titans are back, kind of, 3-4, kind of? They're going to be one of these teams that goes on a run and just pisses me off.
They're butt cheeks. They're going to play in the wild card round.
Ryan Tannehill ready to take a step forward. That was a good call by coach rabel he was born to wear that titans blue and gray or whatever colors they are yeah candy ass yeah he looks he looks perfect it is a candy ass uniform i did notice that rusillo said that they weren't going to talk about the titans at all oh so we should actually just talk about the tights for 20 minutes okay and corner that market the titans titans um i already used my a material on the whole warren sharp mike variable thing what's the name of their stadium it's i think it's the nissan nissan yeah yeah that's weird is that the truck or is that the noodles no it's the truck it'd be better if it would be call it the ramen bowl yeah and they had big big chopsticks as you walked in that'd be sick that would be really sick uh-huh um and only college kids would go there that'd be cool let's see let's.
The Titans. What can we say about the Titans? Their offensive line has a podcast.
They have Malcolm... Hasn't been caught doing steroids in at least a month.
That's good. Malcolm Butler hasn't been benched for mysterious reasons yet.
Their defense is awesome. Derek Henry Henry has cool hair.
Derrick Henry has very cool hair, Hank.

And he's also a load.

Corey Davis is the classic wide receiver that you can be like,

he might be awesome if he had a quarterback.

Yeah.

That's cool.

I always liked those guys.

Like an Allen Robinson type guy.

Yeah.

Okay.

We're going to get there.

We just keep trying to just sneak it in there.

Allen Robinson is good, though.

Yeah, he is.

So, wrong. Yeah.
So, the Titans. What else about the Titans? Do you listen to that podcast, by the way? Which one? The one with Tristan.
Are you talking about Rosillo or the bussing? No, Ryan and Chris. Yeah, I've heard it.
You have to be pretty high to understand anything Chris Long says. So, I'm not in the right for a mind.
Yeah, we do. Yeah, except that they don't talk about the Titans.
So, if you're a Titans fan. We're you're a Titans fan, don't you dare listen to their podcast.
We listen to this one where we call you butt cheeks to your face. That's fun.
I mean, it is a compliment for me to say they're going to go on a run and piss me off. They're going to probably make the wild card round.
And it's a compliment to say that they're butt cheeks because guess what? Ass eating season is still back. So you actually are probably the most attractive part of the body for some people who like to eat ass.
Gabrielle Union, she's like, ooh, imagine if Gabrielle Union wore a Titans uniform. Yeah.
It'd look hot. It would look pretty sick.
So hot. We're running out of material on the Titans.
This is all we got for the Titans. Rabel's mustache is awesome, and we love Coach Rabel.
And I think he's a good coach in a situation where it's not a lot of talent. So he's getting the most.
I feel like just the fact that he got them to, what, eight wins last year and the fact that he's got them at three and four this year shows that he's a good coach. Because I don't know where their wins come from.
Just squeeze them. Whenever they win, you're just like, really? Oh, okay.
I guess the Titans won a game. I guess they've become so unmemorable that we're starting to remember them a little bit.
Yeah, that's true. They've kind of flipped the script on us.
They're stuck in our head. Okay.
All right. Baltimore, Seattle.
Hand up. The Baltimore Ravens are not frauds.
You won that game. That's big of you.
You won that game. I sent the tweet.
You're not frauds. frauds that was an impressive win an impressive road win i'm not going to talk about the fact that the seahawks miss will disley a lot and their offense looks very different without him i'm not going to talk about the fact that having a quarterback that can't be tackled because he's so elusive is borderline cheating i'm just going to say the ravens are awesome they're not fraud frauds.
They're not awesome. They're good.
They're real. Michael Kendricks could learn a lot about not being a fraud from the Ravens.
They're not real good yet. They are real, though.
They are a real... If things broke their way, they could be a competitor in the AFC Championship game.
Uh-huh. I find it a little bit distasteful and borderline disrespectful that you said that missing Will Disley was the biggest problem they have, even though Luke Wilson has stepped right in.
Luke Wilson has stepped right in, but their offense looked a little different than it has. You know, Russ Wilson had like an MVP season going on, and then he throws that pick where I just – that one was crazy.
Yeah. I know there's a lot of talk about how dk metcalf going into the draft he could only run a straight line he was fast he was big but he couldn't do other things the pacifier lacking in other areas but my official evaluation is that dk metcalf is a spaz yeah he's just a spaz he complains a lot about flags yeah he you're right he does he looks at the refs a lot yep uh but a lot that one fumble that he had today was, that was such a spasm.
He complains a lot about flags. Yeah, you're right.
He does. He looks at the refs a lot.

Yep, a lot.

But that one fumble that he had today, that was such a spaz.

It was.

His body just could not control itself.

His muscles were too big, and he tried to run and just dropped the ball.

Yeah, and Tyler Lockett is Doug Baldwin.

Yep.

They're the same guy.

Whenever Russell Wilson has one of his plays where he runs around

and then just throws a moonshot. The teardrop.
To no one, Tyler Lockett's there to catch his teardrop. How come nobody on that team wears the receivers don't wear 80s anymore? I don't know.
This is like a league-wide issue, actually. Yeah, it is.
It's annoying. I agree.
Make receivers eight again. So, yeah, Lamar Jackson is incredible when running the football.
Yeah. It's really insane to watch.

Like you see, it's insane to watch an NFL defense look so slow when trying to catch Lamar Jackson.

And he just, he's so fucking elusive and he always is there for the big play.

I still have questions about his throwing, but who cares?

Because he can clearly win games by being that like dual threat guy. And his ball is pretty good too yeah he's got he's got a good deep ball and you're right like it's it's tough to you rarely see an nfl talent that's able to make other nfl players look like they're still in college yes and not just that but it's like a slapstick calm not slapstick it's like he um there should be a laugh track underneath him when he's running the football because people miss him so comically yes they just like tackle air and then they they all get up with that look on their face which is like laughing at themselves so they just got their jock taken out from underneath them but they're happy that lamar jackson did it right and it's uh third and eight uh the game was in hand they were up two scores but third and eight and the play call the play call is for a designed run, and it's like, oh, that's actually a really good play call because you cannot touch him.
And the Seahawks know they're running, and they still couldn't do anything about it. So my credit to the Ravens.
Here's me. I am saying I'm sorry I was wrong.
Now you guys are probably going to lose by 100 to the Patriots, and I'm going to probably throw the F word back out there.

But for right now, not frauds.

Good team.

They're a real football team.

Five and two.

They're a real boy.

Now they have the AFC North stranglehold.

Okay.

Stranglehold.

So you're getting off the Pittsburgh Steelers take then?

No, I think the Steelers will still be in the mix,

but right now, I mean, it's tough because the Steelers didn't play.

Yeah. So they couldn't win.
I don't know. I think the Ravens are going to walk to it.
Walk? Walk to it. I said it.
I think the Steelers are still going to get back in the mix because their defense is coming, rounding into form. All right, should we do our Who's Back of the Week? That was our NFL Week 7 recap.
There was one game that we didn't talk about. Hank, who did you have on your list? Did we talk about the Chiefs, Broncos? That was Thursday.
We talked about that on a Friday show. Saints and Bears.
Oh, Saints and Bears. Okay.
America's Game of the Week. That was America's Game of the Week.
I'm going to go through some quarterbacks, and then you can tell me if you would like to have them on your team or not. Andy Dalton.
Just on my team? As starting. Starting quarterback.
We could be anything. Andy Dalton.
No. Sam Darnold.
Yes. What? That's a stupid question.
Of course. Ryan Fitzpatrick.
No. Eli Manning.
No. Derek Carr.
You're thinking about Derek Carr. You're thinking about Derek Carr.
Hand-sized, no. This is red alert for you that you're thinking about Derek Carr.
No. Mitch isn't good.
I don't know what else to say. He's not good.
Could he get good? Probably not. But I can sit here and just keep hoping because you drafted him second overall.
You traded up for him. You've invested in him.
The team is built around having the rookie quarterback and having a great defense and he just hasn't progressed we're we're seven weeks into the season and he has gone backwards and i think some of the blame has to be matt nagy because matt nagy is a horrific play caller as far as i've seen this year he ran the ball seven times and it's like the bears are stuck in this such, bizarro world where you can essentially, it's like a domino effect where you can blame everything. So they can't run the ball, so they pass the ball, but they can't pass the ball because Mitch can't hit receivers.
So then they got to try to run the ball, but they aren't able to run the ball because no one respects Mitch passing the ball and it just all fucking doesn't work and it's just a disaster and it was embarrassing they put up fucking junkyard stats the end so if you wake up and you look at the box where you're like oh that wasn't that bad it was bad it was every bit bad and I tweeted this but the Bears have done the Bears offense has done the impossible they have murdered the Bears defense because the Bears defense basically is stuck trying to be on the field for 40 minutes a game and having horrific starting field position against them and they have murdered the once proud Chicago Bears defense here's a spin zone though the Saints are really good the Saints are probably the best team in the NFC Saints are very good but this is now two now two weeks. And look, besides the game against the Redskins, the offenses looked terrible.
And you ran the ball seven times. And I know, I mean, you got 17 yards, but you still ran the ball seven times.
You can't be like, the running game didn't work. Well, how do you know if the running game didn't work when you run the ball seven times? And again, Mitch is bad.
So, like, there's nothing I can say where I'm not trying to say like Matt Nagy's fault or the offensive line's fault everyone kind of sucks right now except Allen Robinson so and then they made fun of Tariq Cohen's height that was that was over the line who is very good friends and co-hosts a podcast with a very short man I was personally offended not that short but Tariq Cohen how tall is he 5'6", 5'7"? He's like 5'9". Really? No.
He's like an Altuve. Yeah, I was going to be so bad.
Honestly, if you were serious and he was 5'9", I was about to write a letter to Roger Udell demanding that he suspends the entire Saints defensive staff. Because what they did to Tariq Cohen was way over the line.
You don't make fun of a man's height. You just don't do it.
Right. He doesn't control that, okay? He is a great footballer.
You know how much Tariq Cohen has overcome in his life? A lot. A lot.
A lot. Being born 5'6".
Right. So I'd appreciate it if the Saints showed a little bit more class and winning than that.
Yes. You don't do that.
You just don't do it. I'm sorry.
Sean Payton nagy's been outcoached by john gruden champagne back back weeks severely and you're coming off a bye week and it's bullshit the team stinks the defense still great your best offensive play was your punter giving up a safety the best offensive play was cordell patterson running it back with an awesome sky cam shout out sky cam which is just more more of the same line of thinking that I've been saying all year, that we are a parody of every Bears team that I've ever watched, that the best offense is special teams. Verbal meme, Antonio Banderas biting his fist gif to that Skycam.
It was so good. It was so good.
It was cinema. And the Bears were back for a second.
But, man, they just – I don't know what else to say. I mean, it's – I think I'm echoing pretty much what everyone's thinking if you're a Bears fan.
Like, it's a crisis mode, and nothing works on offense. And it's very sad to think that last year was the best this will be for a while because you put your chips in the middle.
I don't know what you do with Mitch next year because you have the fourth year he's under contract. Do you just go and try to find a new quarterback? Chase Daniel.
No. Chase Daniel stinks too.
Everyone fucking stinks. The Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback.
It will never, ever happen. It will never happen.
The fact that we had Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes in that draft class, it will never happen. It is destined.
It is preordained. It will never, ever happen.
The only way the Bears can ever win a Super Bowl is to just play such good defense that no one can ever score against them and then fart their way into the end zone once a game. If it was a little rainier in that Super Bowl in Miami, I think he could have beaten Peyton Manning.
Just a little bit. Homolitis.
A little more rainier. Rex Grossman needed 12-inch hands.
Damn, it sucks. And we still haven't even talked about the Badgers we're going to do in a minute.
How about, fuck, was this a bad weekend? I forgot about the Badgers. See, that's a tough weekend if anybody's a fan of both those two.
How about Sean Payton running the most Nebraska play of all time? What? The option. He ran the option using two fullbacks.
Oh, how about – yeah, that was awesome. How about Matt Nagy running an option to the right where Mitch Trubisky's hurt left shoulder was just basically out in the open and get blown up? Maybe he was actually trying to get him.
Yes, run that play more often. Actually, don't.
We don't root for injuries. No, and I like Mitch, and, like, I want him to be good.
He just isn't. All right.
Maybe someday. You got to say, I'm not going to totally give up on him.
That's the thing. I'm not going to say it's like the thing is people will give up on him.
And I understand your line of thinking. But what is the alternative right now? There is none.
So I have to sit here and I'm going to not give up on him because I want him to be good. And I want him to be even average would get you to places.
Why doesn't Matt Nagy script out the entire series of plays for the whole game? Because like in the first, the first 10 plays, because there would be, then we'd run the ball zero times. We'd run the ball zero times.
He just passes the ball. He's the fucking Andy Reed.
Like Andy Reed doesn't run the ball that much, but that's because he can get everyone open. Like, Matt Nagy doing the Andy Reid thing but not being as good as Andy Reid is not great.
Mm-hmm. All right.
That sounds like a shitty position for your football team to be in. You know what? At least you have expectations, though.
That's kind of nice. It's kind of nice to be let down by a team.
If we lose to the Chargers next week. Oh, no.
Phil Rivers gets a win whatever all right let's do who's back i'm just it's just stupid i care about sports is stupid all right hank who's back uh my who's back of the week is scumbag yankee fans oh so we'll talk about it with baseball the yankees aren't back their season's over but very much in the course of the last two games uh the first one at Yankee Stadium, there was a video of an Astros fan walking out. He got beer tossed on him and was just greeted with disgusting and despicable comments that no fan should have to hear at a game.
And then there was a video last night after they lost of Yankees fans throwing a beer and verbally assaulting an Astros fan in the bathroom. Verbally assaulting? While he was taking a pee.
A verbal assault? Yes, while he was trying to remove himself. How did they verbally assault him? They just threw words and hit him with very many words.
They got into a sentence fight. Threw words in him? Like LeBron James and Daryl Morey.
Damn. I'm all for it.
I love scumbag Yankee fans. There's something about them.
The sport's better when Yankees fans are, you know, they call it the Bronx cheer for a reason. Yeah.
I don't have a problem with that. And, Hank, I don't know.
No, you'd never see that kind of behavior out of New England fans. No.
They wouldn't throw beer on Tyreek Hill or anything like that. No.
Yeah. Agreed.
We've been there before, yeah. Yep.
PFT. Now that we're set.
No, no, no. Hold on.
Before we do, here's back. Now that we're set.
Astros, Nats. Uh-huh.
I'm afraid of the Astros. I was not afraid of the Yankees.
Astros have been there before. I'm afraid of Bregman.
I'm afraid of Jose Altuve. He's a great player.
He's very Tariq Cohen-like. I'm scared of their starting rotation as well.
Garakul's about to shove. He's going to shove from the bump.
Scherzer's going to shove from the bump. Scherzer's going to shove, too.
He's going to have a shove off. Scherzer and Strasburg are going to twirl a gem.
Yeah. I think our starting rotation, you could make the argument, is maybe better.
It's deeper. But they're also our relievers.
Not with the way Garrett Cole's pitching. They actually have a bullpen, which you might say is an advantage.
But we've got the skin tangibles. So I'm feeling pretty good about the Nationals' chances.

I'm a little bit afraid of the Astros.

If we can steal one.

I saw a stat.

Now, I might be making this up, but I'm pretty sure I'm not.

If Fernando Rodney gets in in a game in the World Series,

he would have pitched for an AL and NL team in the World Series,

both the ALCS, NLCS, and both the ALDS, NLDS. Great pitcher.
That's pretty awesome. What a great player he is.
Just stick around long enough, and you can just stay and just keep pitching for every team ever. Permission to be a loser? Yeah.
I'm just excited to be in the World Series. Oh, loser talk.
I'm just excited to be there. Yikes.
Well, bleep that out. That was bad.
I'm excited. You don't want that loser talk.
As a lifelong Nationals fan, I'm just excited to be there. It sucks because we don't have any Astro fans that you can go back and forth with.
Chaps. Chaps.
And J.J. Watt.
And J.J. Watt.
I'll start a fight with J.J. Yeah.
And DeAndre Jordan. There you go.
Yes. And James Harden and Russell Westbrook, who could not have cared less about the game.
Russell Westbrook was on his phone in the bottom of the ninth.

Yeah.

They didn't stand up when they hit the home run. I wouldn't know any guy who would sit front row and be on their phone for the entire game

and not care about the game, but just care about being on TV.

Nope.

Especially not wearing those bright orange jerseys behind home plate.

I'm going to keep talking if you keep talking.

All right. Who's your who's back?

My who's back of the week is the Jets.

Yes!

The Jets are back.

They're playing against the Patriots tomorrow night.

Tonight.

Tonight, and Greeny put out a video of him and his son in the kitchen,

and his son was just reading through the entire schedule coming up for the Jets.

Greeny was rattling off wins left and right.

Greeny thinks that the Jets are going to make the playoffs. Despite Sam Darnold's mononucleosis.
Didn't he say they were done? Didn't he like cancel his Jets membership? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
This is like week two, though. Greeny, you have to understand this about Greeny.
He overreacts to things. And I'd rather Greeny overreact than underreact.
Because Greeny's entire life is basically one giant underreaction, unless it's about the New York Jets. Right.
In which case, he is the first to stand on the ledge, and he's the first to stand at the front of the float. And that's why I love Mike Greenberg.
I think the Jets are going to be competitive tonight. I'll say it.
You don't think so? Oh, wow. Cocky Hank in the building.
I think Sam Darnold adds a little bit of... Their season's over, but when you have a guy come back from mono and play the way he did against the Cowboys, a little pep in the step in the building.
You know? I agree. Everyone's feeling a little more well-rested.
But Greeny did mark this one down as a loss. Oh.
So he's not totally delusional. So what, are they going to win out? What are they wanting one in four or five? Basically, it's going to come down

to the last four last game of the season

against the Bills, according to Mike Greenberg. Wow.

Okay, a repeat of that

awesome game game week one

1716 or whatever the fuck

it was. Okay, my who's

back is

fall weather. This weekend

was like the perfect fall weather and this is the time you can mark it you can mark it on your calendar you can mark it on your calendar but you know what i'm talking about that first weekend where it's like you just want to eat the day it's so good like pumpkin spice season yes christian girl autumn yes it was a perfect 60 degrees outside the other day i just want to go like get like, get a house in the woods, have a fire in my house, in the fireplace. You know, walk around my yard, just crunch leaves.
Not have to step on crunchy leaves. Wisconsin or the Bears play.
Nope. Wear a sweater.
Wear, like, a wool sweater and drink 16 cups of coffee while I just stare at the trees. That's what I want.
Drink 16 cups of coffee, stare at the trees, shit yourself. Yeah.
That actually sounds like a pretty good weekend. It's pretty nice.
That's a plot of Walden, isn't it? Dude, when you can smell that fall weather. We were at Penn State and it was like the perfect day.
You know what I'm talking about. You could have just been out of the city for a day.
And that's what it was. It was pretty nice here, too.
It was pretty nice here, too. I'd like to cancel wind.
Wind? I can deal with a little bit of briskness in the air, but once you throw wind, that's God farting on you. I hate wind, especially through all the buildings when you turn a corner and you get your hat blown off.
I don't think you want to upset big wind, PFT. You ever have your hat blown off? Yeah.
Humiliating. It's like you're in a cartoon.
It's like nature is doing the height height thing to me where they're doing the tariq cohen but they just blew my hat off then you have to go chase it down the street or when it's going against the door and the door it's super hard to open and you look like a weak little bitch but it's really the wind can't relate damn that was mean what do you mean i can't relate to that no i'm saying has it ever happened to you no oh i don't fuck neither i don't i don't mess with wind like i don't i don't i don't say bad things about the wind i hate wind because the wind scares me i'm anti-wind and the wind is always bad for betting overs what's the yeah that's true yeah what's the name one good thing wind has ever done besides windmills i was gonna say but the windmills kill all the birds. Nice wind on a hot day.
A breeze. Now we're talking about a breeze.
I like the real wind. Oh, sailboat.
Okay, sailing. I don't do it.
Yeah, I'd rather be on a motorboat. It looks cool.
I'd rather play fun water sports on a motorboat. Sailboats look cool.
They do. Ultimate Frisbee.
Feeling like you can throw a football forever. With the wind at your back.
Yes. Kicking a field goal.
Wind assisted 9 point, what is it, 9.5 100 yard dashes? How about flying back from the West Coast and you do it in like four hours? You catch the jet stream. Yep.
That's wind, buddy. That's wind.
That's one good thing wind has ever done. That's a really good thing about wind.
Besides that, wind hasn't done shit. Yeah, no, that's a really good thing besides that wind hasn't done shit yeah no that's a really good thing about wind okay uh let's do some segments before we do that tune in to listen to pft on big if true each weekday from 11 to 12 eastern and they then stay tuned to hear me on the yak from 12 to 1 eastern on sirius power 85 please tune in to live games and coverage of every major sport from every major conference so you can root for your team all season long there's even fantasy sports coverage so you can get the latest information and advice from experts it's a sports lover's dream not to mention the ad free music plus comedy news and more and now you can create your own ad free personalized stations powered by pandora enjoy

your favorite shows and performances on demand whatever you love it's on now on sirius xm and now you can listen for four dollars per month as long as you're a student visit siriusxm.com slash take to see offer details and to subscribe that's siriusxm.com slash take you can listen to PFT from 10, 11 to 12, myself from 12 to one.

Do it right now.

Serious XM doc. subscribe that's seriousxm.com slash take you can listen to pft from 10 11 to 12 myself from 12 to 1 do it right now seriousxm.com slash take okay football guy of the week or no pft why don't you do a quick ad and then we'll do football guy of the week all right first off i want to talk to you guys about mugsy jeans i love mugsy jeans love them they're as close as you can get to jumpsuit january outside of the month of january uh they're the most comfortable men's jeans ever made.
I'm not exaggerating at all. They feel like sweatpants.
You've heard the name from us before. Muggsy jeans are the only jeans we wear because they look like jeans, but they feel like sweatpants.
Not an exaggeration. We don't know how the guys at Muggsy did it, but their jeans feel like sweatpants that had sex with even more comfortable sweatpants and somehow had an awesome jeans baby mugsy was started by a stoolie who was tired of being uncomfortable in his jeans his goal was simple reinvent men's jeans to look good and feel outrageously comfortable after five years of working with industry experts he perfected jeans for the common man the magic is in mugsy's proprietary denim it's made from a bunch of high-tech materials that make the jeans mind-blowingly soft and flexible.
I've got like four or five pairs. When I have to hit the break glass in case of emergency and put on a pair of jeans, because you know I'm a sweatpants man through and through, I only wear Muggsy's.
That's a fact. Muggsy jeans are sweeping the nation for good reason.
Take our word for it. Give Muggsy jeans a try.
You're not going to be able to wear any other jeans ever again. And they offer free shipping and free return, so your comfort is 100% guaranteed.
Do your legs a favor. Go to Muggsy.com.
That's M-U-G-S-Y.com. Check out Muggsy's full lineup of jeans and safe-for-work chinos, including new sizes, new styles.
Use promo code PMT for $10 dollars off it's a beer on us and a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans ever made by heading to mugsy.com m-u-g-s-y.com and use promo code pmt uh i had a quick idea that i actually went we our eagles uh colleague our eagle fan colleagues ron and Smitty were out there and they were bemoaning the Eagles.

And I was bemoaning the Bears.

And we had the idea.

We have a good defense.

Our quarterback's not great.

You have a good quarterback.

Your defense stinks.

Let's combine the Bears offense and the Eagles defense

and get the first draft pick.

And we can call it the Chilladelfia Beagles.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good, right? That's a good name.
Yeah. The Chilladelphia Beagles.
I was talking about this as well. It's just a fucking cool-ass beagle.
It's Snoopy. Yeah.
Just sleeping on top of his house. It's just a cool-ass beagle, and he just dominates everyone.
The name is so good that I feel like we need to pitch this to Paul Rabel and have it become the lacrosse team name. Ooh.
I mean, that is a great lacrosse name. That's a much better lacrosse name than it is a football name.
That is. Chiladelphia Beagles.
Top cheddar. Triggs, can you please make us a logo for the Chiladelphia Beagles? I would like to start repping gear for the Chiladelphia Beagles.
Because we play in a couple weeks. So what if we just, it was just a, it was actually just a scrimmage.
Yeah, it was the first scrimmage for how the game goes. Yeah, you just switch sides.
You switch offenses and defenses. Right, and then you can – well, what would be the reverse? So, like you said, you're joking like we could tank for the first pick by doing the bad parts.
I want to win the Super Bowl with the Chiladelphia Beagles. That's the FCAGO ears.
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, the FCAGO ears.
And it's just a big dick in someone's ear. Yeah, I like it skull so the fuck cargo ears will be the bears offense and the eagles defense yep and the chilladelphia beagles will be the the eagles offense and the bears defense i got the spread right now is uh fuck cargo plus 22 and a half someone just draw this up make a whole roster show me how good the teams would be it'd be fucking sick um all right let's do our uh football guy of the week first up we have nick saban for telling his team that this is the time of year to get your piss hot to quote an old locker room saying that is an old old locker room saying.
Get your piss hot. I fucking love that saying.

That's what they said in Clemson last year.

What does that mean?

You just got to get your piss hot.

Start doing drugs.

Start doing PEDs.

Get your piss hot.

Get your piss hot.

How?

You got to get angry.

You got to get going.

Get your piss hot, man.

I didn't know how you could physically make your piss hot. Well, like PFT said, Clemson is...
Yeah, you just take a bunch of supplements from your neighbor in the locker room. Right.
But get your piss hot. Okay, next up we have Minnesota holder and four-time cancer survivor Casey O'Brien getting his first career hold in a blowout win over Rutgers.
So have fun competing against that, everyone. Oh, next one.
one high school football coach keenan low for disarming a student with a gun in portland oregon so one guy stopped a school shooter and one guy has survived cancer four times four times you didn't forget the four times and also beat ruckers yes which i think actually should that's you should beat ruckers by a lot update on Rutgers Nunzio season not doing so well I looked at Nunzio you know how many yards he threw for or his quarterback threw for last week yeah it was one again this again two weeks in a row oh that's actually now they're doing it on purpose threw for one I think they're doing it on purpose yeah that's that's awesome that is pretty cool cool. Yeah.
Nunzio's got a next level. I almost feel bad for the award-winning listeners having to choose between the cancer survivor and the guy that stopped a potential school shooter.
Well, here's the fourth one. And I love this guy.
It's a kid who called in a bomb threat to... He's a University of Alabama student.
Yeah, that's my bet. Called in a bomb threat to tiger stadium that was last saturday between lsu and florida because his friend was on the verge of losing a very large bet that's a football guy yeah that's a football guy who's who's a degenerate gambler knows that you just have to drastic times call for drastic memory if you think that a little bomb threat is going to stop people in louisiana from a football game no My friend, you have another thing coming.
You should have threatened Mike the Tiger or a couple trees. Then they stopped the football game.
Yes, exactly. They'll put on a manhunt.
People dying? Okay. Mascots or trees? Uh-uh.
Can't have it. Nope.
Yeah. All right.
So vote for Football Guy of the Week on our Part of My take Twitter account. I may have been a little off on my Johnny Langan Rutgers stat because now I'm seeing one that says he threw for 48 yards.
But I saw a tweet from Roger Sherman earlier this weekend saying that he threw for a yard again. Well, this is he did throw for a yard last week, but he know that it was two weeks in a row.
That's what the tweet said. So maybe it was before the game was over.
Maybe they're not taking into account – He was working on a yard. Sack yardage.
I'm not sure. Interesting.
He did throw for a yard, but he also threw for 48 of them. Yeah, so 47 more of them.
Yes. Yeah.
Okay. 47 times better than he was last week.
That's a little crazy. That's improvement for Nunzio.
Nunzio, chill out, man. Air raid offense going at Rutgers.
That program should just fold.

Can you give the death penalty to a program for being so bad?

No, I don't think that you can.

Or just maybe go to the FCS.

Rutgers should just start cheating really badly and get caught intentionally

so that NCAA just kills them.

All right, since we're on college football,

well, actually, let's do our last ad and then we'll do this. Our last ad is from a new sponsor.
New sponsor alert. Lucy.
Hank, hit it. New sponsor.
That was a great fucking sound. Do that again, Hank.
It's Lucy. You guys know what Lucy is? Yeah.
In the sky with diamonds. That's right.
It's Lucy gum. It's a special kind of gum.
It's a kind of nicotine gum that you can use to get a nicotine boost anywhere you go. You can check out the powerful, long-lasting flavors of Lucy gum available at Lucy.co.
They serve up a nicotine buzz, the same buzz that you know and you love, without the thick clouds of smoke or fruity vapor. No more tobacco-stained teeth, no more smoky clothes, no more shamefully pulling on the vape at the office or classy function when you have Lucy Gum.
This is actually a true fact right here. I'm going off script.
Go. When I went Jewelist, when I became Jewelist Joe Jackson, I used Lucy Gum.
I didn't even know that they were going to be a sponsor of ours. But somebody had a pack laying around the office.
I asked about it. I was getting the hankering for a Jewel and they just gave me a piece of the gum.
It totally got me off needing that juul at the moment lucy reimagined what nicotine could be four milligrams of clean nicotine and food grade ingredients that provides a buzz that you can enjoy anywhere even in the office especially in the office plus there's three delicious flavors cinnamon pomegranate and citrus mint but make sure you use it the right way just chew it a few times then let then let it sit against your gums. Believe me, I chewed it like regular gum the first time.
Didn't like it. Too much nicotine, too much buzz almost.
So don't do that. Chew it a few times, let it sit against your gums.
You will love Lucy gum and you can use promo code TAKE, T-A-K-E to get 20% off your first order. The product contains nicotine and nicotine is an addictive substance, but it kicks ass so you got your give and take there there we go all right let's do a little college football so where do we want to start with college football it's such a big weekend let's start get hurt yeah let's we had this the the sooner uh schooner crashed we had vanderbilt uh beat missouri who as a 21 point underdog boy.
Boy. Kansas almost beat Texas.
I got a question. Army or Air Force and Y.
That would have been an unheard of upset. Air Force and Y had so many points out on the island.
Does it make it worse that it was a former Bears coach that beat you? I have no problem with Lovey. Yeah, I like Lovey.
Lovey does look cool. Lovey is the only guy that looks younger by growing out that white beard.

He looks like he's 30 years younger.

Lovey's firing from the Bears was a quintessential like,

that's probably time.

That was what it was.

Both sides should move on.

It was a 10-win team when he got fired.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

You know who the real losers are of this weekend?

Wisconsin, which we haven't said lost on Saturday.

Hank and PFT. Because Hank and PFT didn't get to witness it.
Didn't get to witness my heartbreak. And you guys really lost out.
Because you guys like to see me die and you didn't get to see it. I've seen you die so many times though, it's like imprinted in my brain.
So all I have to do is just, I can reimagine it pretty easily. My spank bank of Big Cat's death is like right.
That's so fucked up. The Hank Bank? I love it.
Yeah, no, I wish I could have been there to support you, not to make fun of you, to support you and to log some more hours in my spank bank of Big Cat wanting to die. It was tough.
The way that it happened was tough. Yeah, very shocking.
I'm actually at peace with it. Can I tell you? Yeah, here's why.
Do you remember what you said on these airwaves? Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
No, no, I know. You were scared? No, that's why I'm at peace with it.
My relationship with the University of Wisconsin Athletics is a relationship where I know what they're going to do before they do it. And at some point when you have a relationship that's so deep seated, you get stale.

So I knew they were going to lose in a heartbreaking fashion this year.

I knew my heart was going to get ripped out of my chest.

I always know what's happening or going to happen.

I didn't know it was going to be this weekend.

Yeah.

So I appreciate them keeping it fresh. It was like coming home and being like, hey, honey, let's try a new position.

Let's lose this 31 point favorites in

a fucking horrific fashion just pulls out Illinois yeah and it's like fuck why not all right you've been married for you know 20 years what the fuck you've been over this time yeah uh so what you're falling for right now because if you had to pick a game to lose to still be in the national championship conversation this is probably the one because still control because you can you can still beat Minnesota. You can still beat

Ohio State. Twice.
Twice.

And then you can you can still beat minnesota you can still beat ohio state twice twice and then you can have your heart ripped out from you in excruciating fashion which i will make sure come hell or high water i know therefore this is already this is it this season is that's the other part of why i'm at peace because once it happens i no longer have to go through it again once they rip heart out, that's why when the real true terrible seasons are when they wait until the absolute end.

This is almost a relief.

Even last year when they lost to BYU.

Last year's team was terrible.

They lost to BYU, which they showed us 24-point favorites or whatever it was.

That happened so early in the year that I was like, fuck it.

We've already done this. We're good.
It's happened. i can tell behind that smile you're terrified having it happen twice we're gonna lose to ohio state we'll probably play we'll probably play ohio state pretty close because why not you know what i mean like we'll lose by seven or ten just so that everyone could say oh they actually aren't that bad really really sucks they lost this 31 point favorites to illinois but yeah i'm at peace it feels good but the relationship has been renewed wisconsin has broken my heart in a new fashion i always know northwestern's coming i always know you know going to evanston i always know iowa's lurking minnesota last year was a new one because we hadn't lost them in 15 years the illinois one i didn't see coming and i i respect the hell out of it you will never see somebody root harder for Wisconsin than when they play against Ohio State than I will yeah and then you'll never see somebody don't respect scumbags who who cover up domestic assault that's true yeah that's why that's why I'm gonna root for him and not because you don't go to China I can't wait to see them get their asses kicked by Oklahoma in the semifinal no we'll probably lose I if we beat Ohio State we State, we'll lose to Minnesota.
That's how it will go. Okay.
So that's the calculation. The give and take.
Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it was shocking.
It was shocking, but I'm happy to be done with it. I feel it's like almost going to like jail.
Like I did my sentence. You're done.
I'm good. I'm out.
You're out of Wisconsin football. I'm a free man.
I can just enjoy their, like... It's actually a good thing.
They're mediocre plus. They're extra mediocre.
Like, they're above average, but not ever going to be good enough to be great. Probably Rose Bowl.
I would love to go to Rose Bowl. Rose Bowl is the fucking greatest place in the world to watch a football game.
Some of my best memories are from there. And guess what? Wisconsin lost both those games, too.
Listen, I think Paul Chris is the same guy that he's going to be able to get the team back on track and get them back into the conversation. At the end of the game, you're trying to bleed the clock, and he was just snapping the ball and just, oh.
Why were they doing that? He wanted to play more football? He lost his brain. He loves football so much.
I don't know. Trying to get extra snaps in.
Yeah, The air was so beautiful. It was such a nice fall day.

So, yeah, that's our college football.

Two did get hurt, though.

That's a big thing.

Yeah, that actually kind of sucks.

So, he had surgery on his ankle, right?

He did last year.

But he didn't already have another surgery on it?

No, I don't think so.

Okay.

I mean, if he did, then that's very severe.

Medically speaking, his ankle is fucked.

Right.

So, he might be out at LSU, which would be kind of nice. Ooh.
Which would be kind of nice. That would be really nice.
I'm looking at him. He has a high ankle sprain.
Or, as Chris Long calls it, an ankle sprain. That joke never gets old.
That is good. When do they play LSU? November 9th? Two weeks from now.
Yeah. Okay.
So he might be out then, but then their quarterback, their new quarterback's name is Mack, right?

Yeah.

Tua's brother is the third string, I think.

Oh, really?

I'm pretty sure, which is awesome.

Also, shout out Dana Holgerson putting his son in for Houston.

I love that move.

Yeah.

Talia Tagovailoa. Now, is that just a guy that they recruit to make sure that they get Tua? Talia Tagovailoa, brother of Tua, commits to Alabama over Tennessee.
This is an article from 2018. So, I think he is the third string.
Mack Jones is their backup right now. Mack Jones is a great backup quarterback.
That's not a good – that's not a Alabama quarterback name, but Mac Jones, that's a fullback name. It's a cool backup name.
Yeah. But that give me the other tag.
I can't say tag. Yeah.
Yeah. Give me that guy.
How about Alabama's light show turning football into a rave? Why is everyone doing that now? That's everyone though. I guess Georgia did it.
Yeah. Broncos did it on Thursday night.
Yep. I don't like it.
I think in the SEC, it's just a signal to all your underclassmen that are in the stands. Now's the time to hit your flask.
Yeah. When the lights turn out real quick.
Now's your time. Which I appreciate that.
Yeah. All the recruits.
Now's your time to jingle the new car keys you have of your sweet Lexus. Now's the time where the handshakes are exchanged with a couple thousand dollars worth of hundreds folded up in them.
Alright, let's finish up. We got a couple more topics here, segments here.
You have a NyQuil idea. I do, yeah.
So I've been sick. I've been fighting something off.
Let me do it this way. Let me do it this way.
Seeky question. Yeah.
Promo code TAKE. $10 off.
Go to LSU, Alabama. Seeky.
Promo code TAKE seek promo code take we love seek they always get us hook us up when we go to give you might get hooked up on friday night i think i'm gonna be down in dc i'm just gonna be happy to be there promo code take ten dollars off what is your nyquil i had a nyquil idea i just woke up in the middle of the night last night with this idea stuck in my brain i don't know how how it got there, but it's an idea for an athletic center or just a gym. It's a gym that you can get a subscription to called the Jimmoji, where all the kettlebells are like emoji faces, and it's for influencers.
And the weights are labeled with the amount of hundreds that are on them, with the red hundreds. Okay.
I don't hate that. Yeah.
What about the windows or the mirrors having cameras in them? What is the NyQuil idea? Yeah, NyQuil idea. Oh, you took too much NyQuil.
Got it. I drank NyQuil, and then in the middle of the night, I woke up, and I was like, Jimoji.
You robo-tripped. That's perfect.
You ever trip on Robitussin? Yeah. Yeah, me neither.
Not tripped on Robitussin. Yeah, we neither have I.
Good. Right.
I like this idea, though. Yeah, I don't know where else to go with it besides you just target influencers.
You get people you have to have. Here's what you do.
You say you have to have over 100,000 followers to get a membership there. Okay.
But then you let everybody in that applies. And then they feel like they have over $100,000 if they're there.

And then it just becomes a big thing of the people that don't have,

that aren't influencers yet, networking with the actual influencers at the gym.

I like that.

So it's for the little man.

You should be able to let the dog accounts in too.

Okay.

That works.

Done.

Have a little agility course for them.

Yeah, right.

I like this.

Maybe a little, like, we could have an area where they can have their super healthy meal they're eating. And they don't actually have to eat it.
They just take a picture. And then just move on.
They airdrop you the picture that they just took of your meal that you didn't eat. Right.
Yeah. And then they give you, like, some fries.
This is it. This is the Jmoji.
Yeah. Okay.
That's done. Okay.
I can one in New York and San Francisco and maybe LA. I don't think this is a gym for Miami.
Yeah, like I don't think this is a gym for Toledo, Ohio. Probably not, but yeah.
Or you can just say like it's New York, Miami, LA, San Francisco, but then open it everywhere like LA Fitness. People go there and they're like, oh, I feel like I'm...
I this is nice put a plane emoji in your bio when you walk in the door you put a plane emoji and when you check in it puts a plane emoji and it puts it tweets it out for you and it says NYC plane jimoji yeah and then it says like all the all like instead of know, when you go to a weight room in college,

a football program, and they have all the motivational stuff, it's just Instagram captions.

So it's like, if you can't handle me at my Manhattan Beach, you don't deserve me at my Soho.

I like that.

Like, I'm bi-coastal, baby.

Yeah, this is the live, laugh, love steam room.

Right, right.

I like that.

Like, yeah, yeah, okay.

That's hot.

You in Fort Hank? Mm-hmm. Chimoji? Do you think you have enough? You that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
That's hot. You in for it, Hank?

Mm-hmm.

Chimoji?

Do you think you have enough?

You have a K, right?

Mm-hmm.

And a check mark.

You got the clout?

Not a big deal.

Yeah.

Sliding in.

How many have you been sliding in?

No one.

Yeah.

I don't slide.

You get slid on?

Not even.

Let me see your DMs.

Yeah.

Read your last three DMs out loud.

This will be good. Same old, how are you? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.
I couldn't tell you why I do it either. This is the only group I do it to.
That was from Yev from Dixon Tour. My buddy David Cox replied to one of my stories and said, legend.

Were you being a legend?

Not really, but I appreciate that.

And then, uh, dies life.

Shout out dies life.

Instagram beer, die Instagram account.

They're going to send me some merch.

So follow them and, uh, shout out to them for sending me the merch.

Love it.

Dyer dies life.

Yep.

This, this badger fan texted me.

He said, Hey big cat, can you shoot me in the fucking face i'm suicidal that's bad that was your i think he was just talking about the game though so it's not bad it's it's okay you know it's cool my last dm thank no thank you marlins man she had a great time no no it's not what that was. Oh, fuck.

A lot of Ravens fans saying we're not frauds anymore.

Still frauds.

Yeah, okay.

You guys aren't.

I said that.

All right, let's wrap up.

Hank, this is your segment, Blame and Shame Media.

Tom Brady's under attack.

No, he's not.

Yeah, he is.

He's not.

He is.

He's so much under attack, he came up with the Blame and Shame Media.

He was under attack on Friday. Yeah.
Friday night, there was a video that came out. He's in Paul Rudd's new show.
And there's a scene. Big Cat, you watch it.
You can probably explain it better. I have no idea what you're talking about.
No? It looked bad, the scene. No, I watched it.
It's the dumbest controversy of all time. Because I didn't watch it, and I saw the video.
I was like, oh, this is weird. But from what I've been told, anyone that watches the episode.
Have you watched it yet? I have not watched it, but I've read the synopsis of it. That I texted you? That, and I also fact-checked it.
So I can confirm. You didn't trust my synopsis.
Somehow, the most in-context thing of all time that looked like Tom Brady making fun of Bob Craft was actually out of context. Correct.
Which is amazing to me. If you just watched it, you're like, how can this be anything other than what my eyes just saw my eyes lied to me well the the problem

i have with this is the person who tweeted it well in the video too it's tom brady walking out of a

spa all right so we'll back up tom brady's walking out of a spa in this show in the show paul rudd's

like oh you've been here he's like yeah six times someone tweeted it and was like i cannot believe

this clearly being like tom brady's making fun of bob craft if you watch the show you didn't even make that connection because the joke is so clearly about tom brady so i hate the person who tweeted it's the producer of felgren mass who's like the the troll radio station so that's all okay so then i don't hate him because he was doing it on purpose because i thought maybe it was someone who was doing it actually saying. He knew what he was doing.
Okay. I no longer hate him.
Retract. Okay.
The thing is I hate everyone who bought it and fell for it and looks stupid. Me.
I feel stupid this morning. You feel like you're part of the blame and shame media.
Saturday morning. I had a BNS on my heart because I was like, this is I'm part of the big problem out here because Tom Brady,

somebody asked him a question about it at his locker.

Blame it, she immediately.

And he looked like he was going to cry.

Yeah, he did.

I've never seen Tom Brady look like that.

And all I have to say about that is I'm betting heavily on the Patriots tonight.

Well, it's like, oh, I mean, the guy, like, he likes being acting.

He likes outside of his NFL career, like, doing some thespian work. And he does it and when all he does is get critical reception like no one likes that who wants that as an actor oh you thought he was too good in the role and people were jealous he was upset that he put all his time into his role and no one was focusing on the role that he the performance that he gave but instead on the context which was not relative to the performance uh do you think that that bob craft saw the clip and his heart broke a little bit? No, he came.
He just nutted. He's like, ooh, spa.
He probably saw that and was like, Tom, I'm glad that you're able to make a joke about it. Let's go together sometime.
Hey, Tom, I've been meaning to invite you. That's also, it was a Twitter bubble thing where I'm sure it didn't really reach Robert Kraft.
Right. It's just crazy because when I watched, I watched the show and I didn't even think twice about it because it's in context.
It makes perfect sense. Yeah, I went back to Jim Murray's original tweet.
Smart tweet. He just put the thinking emojis.
Oh, that is smart. So credit to him.
He got the whole internet. I'm going to tip my cap.
That's a smart move. All right.
That's our show. Joe Buck on Wednesday.
Let's go. Some big guests coming up.

Big guests in the next few days.

I'm pretty excited because the next time you'll hear me,

I will be celebrating a Game 1 Nationals World Series victory.

Wrong.

Garrett Cole's going to shove.

I already told you that. He's going to shove, but Scherzer's not going to shove more.

He's going to twirl.

Nope.

Shove.

You don't know what you're talking about.

He's going to shove.

I'm just happy to be here.

Love you guys.

It's Pardon My Take presented by Ball School Sports