Derek Watt, Steve Wilkos, Week 7 NFL Preview And Picks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Falls here, kids are back in school, vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 2 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 2 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 2 And if you head over to bombas.com slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have NFL week seven preview. We have a Watt brother, Derek Watt.
Really actually an awesome time with him because DJ.

Speaker 1 DJ, yeah, he reached out to us and wanted to come on.

Speaker 1 It was fun to talk to a different Watt. We talked about playing fullback.
We talked about JJ, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 We also have Steve Wilkos, the legend, which we had the debate how many people are going to know who Steve Wilkos is that listen to this show. PFT and I obviously do, but Hank didn't really know.

Speaker 1 So maybe it's a generational thing. It might be.
You could just pretend that he's Cal Ripken Jr. when he's on the show and he's talking because he looks a lot like him.

Speaker 1 What does this sound, Pete?

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that sound? We have a ghost.

Speaker 1 A heater.

Speaker 1 Oh shit, that's going to go all winter. No way.
That's air in the pipes.

Speaker 1 I had that in my first apartment when I moved here. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 This is the dumbest office.

Speaker 1 Keep all this.

Speaker 1 We set up all podcast next to the radiator. I thought someone was going to come through this.
And we just realized they turned the heat.

Speaker 1 I think it's done for now, but it will be back. All winter.
All winter.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, we have Steve Wilcox, too.
All right. Damn it.
When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 1 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.
They're participating, McDonald's. Now, we have a Larry's pick.
Oh, AB

Speaker 1 C D

Speaker 1 A B Antonio Brown

Speaker 1 Hawk. Oh, fuck.
Seahawks. Seahawks.
Seahawks. Okay.
There's Larry's pick. Where'd AB come from? We got more coming.

Speaker 1 I was going to go AB, and then you were supposed to say C, and then I was going to go like Eagle Parrot. Okay.
Oh, it's multi-sound. It's like a Rude Goldberg machine of your pun.
Damn. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang a low washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't name all of the stands. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Elay Trick Avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elay Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 1 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 1 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 1 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft craft since 1905.
Yay! Today is Friday, October 18th.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes has a knee. He does have a knee issue.
So this is like the one injury that the NFL did not want.

Speaker 1 I think 70% of Americans, regardless of if you're a Chiefs fan or not, would have given their own knee to have Patrick Mahomes not get hurt this year.

Speaker 1 So yeah, it sucks. Hopefully, it's only going to be like three or four weeks, but if there's ligaments, if he has a ligament, then it's more.

Speaker 1 Also, big win for all the dumb football coaches out there that run

Speaker 1 their fullback or running back in fourth and inches. Yeah.
Because they won tonight.

Speaker 1 Because analytics, Twitter loves the quarterback dive, which makes sense because I think it's successful like 80% of the time.

Speaker 1 And Patrick Mahomes gets hurt doing that. Doesn't matter.
The Chiefs beat the Broncos easily. Joe Flacco,

Speaker 1 PFT. As a Joe Flacco realist, I have to say, the most concerning thing about Joe Flacco tonight was his body language overall.
Just like his face the entire time.

Speaker 1 He has a face that he looks like he's always looking for his car in a big parking lot. And at his most excited, he realizes that he took his wife's car.
He's like, oh, was looking for the wrong one.

Speaker 1 At his worst, he realizes it was toad. Right.
And it only varies like that far apart from each other. He's got terrible body language.

Speaker 1 He looks like he knows that his body is not capable of doing anything anymore. Troy Aikman said it's about as bad as an offense as I've ever seen.
Anemic. That is, oh, that's a quote.

Speaker 1 Like, you don't usually hear the guys say something like that. They don't usually go in that hard.
And he played against the early 1990s Eagles.

Speaker 1 So he's seen some shit in his day. He has seen some shit, but yeah, the Broncos, I feel like that's...
Can we dunchain the Broncos? I think they've already been dunchained.

Speaker 1 Well, let's double dunchain them. Double dun chain.
Because that's it. Like, if they had won this two champions,

Speaker 1 yeah, you could talk about it. You could be like, hey, maybe, you know, they've won three in a row.
They lost some close games. That's it for them.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs, while they needed this win very badly, the fact that they aren't going to have Mahomes and Matt Moore, who Matt Moore, he came in, and I think everyone in America was like, He looks like Big Cat off.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, a lot of people were treating me that I somehow have looked like Matt Moore, Matt Castle, Matt Liner combined with more weight and zero arm strength. Matt Cat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what you are, yeah. People say it's fat cat.
Matt Moore. Matt Fat.
That's me. Matt Moore looks like you, if you put on a helmet that was like two sizes too small.
Yeah. Stretches his face out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Chiefs are in a bad spot. If Mahomes is out for the rest of the season, they don't really have any other options except for Brock Oswald.
What is the name that's out there? Eli.

Speaker 1 Eli is out there. I love that Eli has become the de facto.
Hey, should they trade for Eli? RG3.

Speaker 1 Can we make it so that Commissioner ruled that Eli Manning is available for trades for the rest of the year? Yes. So that we can just not never have to worry about this? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Speaking of the commissioner, every time a really

Speaker 1 out there? Swags. He's out there.
He knows the system as well as he knows any system besides the detention one.

Speaker 1 Vacuum cleaners. If there's one thing that we have to do is talk about a commissioner making a new rule after a star quarterback gets his knee injured.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So what is the Tom Brady rule equivalent of what happened to Patrick Mahomes going to be to prevent this from happening in the future. Don't let Andy Reid make any decisions.
Oh, by the way.

Speaker 1 It's a penalty. 15 yards.
I forgot about Andy Reid all time because he had to go out twice for injuries. His waddle is so, so funny.
Did you see him at the start of the night? Yes.

Speaker 1 Letting the cows out of the pen, just slapping Sherman on the ass.

Speaker 1 Anthony Sherman was the emergency quarterback. Yep.
Incredible. Could you imagine if we had seen that? Entire offense of fullback dives.

Speaker 1 It would have been the biggest fullback fantasy game of all time, I would say.

Speaker 1 How depressing is it to be, and we've touched on the Broncos and John Elway not being able to find a quarterback, and it's kind of fitting that Brock Osweiler retires when you watch Joe Flacco throw that shit out there.

Speaker 1 But to have Patrick Mahomes get hurt, and you never root for injuries, but if you're a Broncos fan, you're sitting there like, okay, it's now, what, I think it made it, I think it was a 13-6 game at that point.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're fine. No Patrick Mahomes.
And just everything fell to shit after that. Yeah, I looked up a stats.
So we've talked about John Elway and the the way that he picks quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 We used to think that maybe it's because he doesn't want a better Broncos quarterback than himself. Right.
I looked up the stats since Peyton Manning.

Speaker 1 I think John Elway wanted to win a Super Bowl, so he got Peyton Manning. After that, they're 40% against the spread.
They're only better than Cleveland and San Francisco.

Speaker 1 And San Francisco had Chip Kelly. Yep.

Speaker 1 And Garoppolo getting hurt. Yeah, and Cleveland had like six Chip Kellys come in and out in that time span.

Speaker 1 So I think that John Elway owes somebody a lot of money, and he's actually very good at evaluating quarterbacks. He's so good, in fact, that he never drafts them.
Yeah, that's a crazy stat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because, I mean,

Speaker 1 the Broncos, and I've said this before, but the Broncos are a proud franchise.

Speaker 1 The Broncos are one of those franchises that if you actually look through their history, they have consistently been good throughout their entire franchise.

Speaker 1 Like, they've won Super Bowls, they've been competitive, they've been in the playoffs pretty much never like a big drought where they weren't in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 So this is now going to be going on year three, I think,

Speaker 1 where it looks like there's no answer. And I don't know how you don't have Drew Locke in there.
Is he hurt still? He's hurt still. Yeah, he's still hurting.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I guess that's the answer, but I answered my own question.

Speaker 1 But knowing John Elway, he probably sucks too. Yeah.
Yeah. Correct.
Correct. So that's all you have to look forward to.

Speaker 1 No one talks about Paxton Lynch enough. You know what sucks is that if you're a Broncos fan, you have to see.
So you're right.

Speaker 1 they're a proud franchise, and when you see those helmets, you think like Peyton Manning, Super Bowl, you think John Elway's second Super Bowl. What do you think? I think Peyton Manning, Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 I think Jake Palmer, rollout. Von Miller, Super Bowl.
Von Miller. John Elway, Super Bowl.
Cam Newton, Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 That was a Do Your Pod mini-segment.

Speaker 1 What if every time. I'm just saying, it's not like Broncos, Peyton Manning.
That's not the first thought that people have. It's not.
John Elway, yes. They did have Brock Osweiler's team for a while.

Speaker 1 They did have the best offense of all time, didn't they? I do think

Speaker 1 they lost to Seahawks.

Speaker 1 I do think that it's Peyton Manning's helmet because of that picture of him in the tub wearing that helmet when he should be at practice. Yes, that was a good picture.

Speaker 1 All right, so what else we got from this game? I mean, Chiefs, kind of a question mark now.

Speaker 1 We actually foreshadowed it coming up because we taped our preview before the game. We talked about the Raiders.

Speaker 1 If they could somehow beat the Packers, we're going to have to start taking them for real. Yep.
And that's not going to happen. Patrick Mahomes getting hurt.

Speaker 1 That's a wide open west if the Raiders can somehow beat the Packers. It is.
It is. I don't know.
We'll see what they do. I also feel like we always get cock teased by the phrase emergency quarterback.

Speaker 1 We always hear what the emergency quarterback would be, and we never get to see the emergency quarterback. Never.
It's so true.

Speaker 1 Just once I want to see, I mean, it's happened, but I just like

Speaker 1 Anthony Sherman being the emergency quarterback would be so funny. That would have been my Super Bowl.
I think Tariq Cohen is the, is the, I mean, how fun would that be?

Speaker 1 Tariq Cohen just out there running around. If you basically just run the wildcat, wildcat the entire time.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, if you want to watch us, we are on barstowgold.com slash PMT, barstowgold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 1 Let's quickly, before we get to NFL,

Speaker 1 PFT, you are in scouting mode. Yep.
So you're scouting your competition. Yep.
The Yankees beat the Astros in game four.

Speaker 1 What do you see? The Yankees lost the Astros. The Yankees lost the Astros.

Speaker 1 The Yankees lose. My bad.
I don't know why. I said I'm staring at the Astros.
No, they got their asses kicked.

Speaker 1 And as a scout, I am afraid of the Houston Astros. I will say it.
I'm afraid their rotation is just as good as the Nationals, and their lineup is better.

Speaker 1 And their relievers are better. So you want seven? I would love to.
I want the Yankees to win. I want to go up against the Yankees in the World Series.
Now, I will give Yankees fans credit for this.

Speaker 1 They flip the switch from being like, we're going to win it all, to fuck this, burn the entire team down

Speaker 1 so fast. Yeah, I love that.
There's accountability in the Bronx. But yeah, they get so mad when their team loses in a competitive ALCS.
Yeah, and I think they're dead man walking.

Speaker 1 I think tomorrow is not even going to be.

Speaker 1 Furlander is going to show up, and it's going to be quickly. They jump on whoever's pitching for the Yankees, and boom, it's over.
I had an idea today during the game.

Speaker 1 So when they were down, like, I think it was when they were down 7-3 or 8-3, why don't they just start a massive brawl?

Speaker 1 If you're up to bat and you're a Yankee, and there's just like somewhat of an inside pitch, why not charge the mound, try to get some suspensions, shake things up a little bit? Agreed.

Speaker 1 What's the worst that could happen?

Speaker 1 Your team gets all the suspensions. Suspensions, yeah.
Okay. That would suck.
Yeah, that would suck. But you're still going to lose, anyways.
Right. So that wouldn't suck.

Speaker 1 And you'd have an excuse. Yeah, exactly.
We were banged up and suspended. We were all suspended.
We all got our asses kicked and we couldn't hit anymore.

Speaker 1 I also, we watched the game with a bunch of Yankee fans, and they were just upset the whole time, rightfully so. But I threw out there my hot take that Aaron Judge is too tall.

Speaker 1 And they got very defensive about it, which means I think he might be too tall. I agree.
So, I mean, he's getting his ass kicked repeatedly by Altuve. And who's 5'6 ⁇ .

Speaker 1 Just like every time there's a pitch low in the zone, first of all, it wouldn't be a strike for anyone else. Or it would be like middle, or sorry, it would be the opposite.

Speaker 1 It would be like middle of the, you know, people would be able to hit it.

Speaker 1 Altuve would be basically at his tits. And he can't get his body down that low.
Yeah. So that was my hot take.
I'm sure some saver and the metrics nerd is going to tell me I'm so wrong. Saving stone.

Speaker 1 No, the strike zone's bigger.

Speaker 1 It's a fact that the strike zone is bigger.

Speaker 1 That's why I'd rather not be above six feet tall. Right.
That's why my little league career was so much better than his, probably. But yeah, if you're, yeah, exactly, Hank.
True, Hank. If you're

Speaker 1 Aaron Judge, why don't you at least consider a crouched batting stance? Yeah. Like, what is it, Bigio? Craig Bigio style? Get all the way down there with Bagwell.
Bagwell. Yeah, Bagwell.

Speaker 1 Or do the reverse surgery they do in China, disavow,

Speaker 1 where you break all your bones and they adjust your height. For making fun of Hong Kong.
Or for...

Speaker 1 Why do they break your bones? Oh, you elect to have the surgery? You elect to have the surgery. You break your bones, and then they elongate it, but I'm sure they can do the reverse.

Speaker 1 What's the average height of somebody in China? It's got to be pretty short, right?

Speaker 1 As far as different nations go? Yeah, I would say. I'd say we're, are we the tallest? No, Scandinavia is probably the tallest.
The Norse. Like the Norway, the Germany, those guys.
Average height

Speaker 1 in China.

Speaker 1 is

Speaker 1 5'4 is the average male height. You are a king.
So you'd be a king.

Speaker 1 But still disavow. Disavow.
I still would not want to go there.

Speaker 1 I would still not want to go there and make money. Correct.
But if you did. But if I did.
You'd be a king. I'd be a king.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But so that actually is a lot of credit to me for electing to not go over there and endorse all the atrocities by making money as a tall man. Right.

Speaker 1 You have a very easy out anytime someone calls you short, you could just move to china but you've decided that due to your morals you will not correct absolutely right that is that's that's big of you thank you well well it's in china it's big of you it's perfectly average of me

Speaker 1 all right let's do some nfl pics and some preview it's brought to you by what's up guys it's big cat here making my irish entrance with proper number 12 irish whiskey how do you make an irish entrance you ask it starts with a shot of proper number 12 irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
I can't lose parlay, and also PFT has some fullback props. I do.
Well, not fullback props.

Speaker 1 So my prop that's been hitting at about 75% this year. I've been betting it every primetime game.
Sharp. So I can only give you this pick in confidence for primetime games.

Speaker 1 Over three and a half field goals. Sharp.
It's been hitting 75% of the time. Usually you can get pretty good odds on it, too.
So go for that. The field goals, they go farther at night.

Speaker 1 I don't know how, but they just do, and they're a shitload of them. So over three and a half field goals in the Sunday night game and in the Monday night game.
And listen, I know some people get woke.

Speaker 1 We literally bet all these things. I've seen PFT bet over three and a half field goals a billion times.
Seriously, 75%.

Speaker 1 He will just be sitting here on a Sunday night, and it will be

Speaker 1 31

Speaker 1 to 9, and he'll be like, yes. And like, what happened? Nothing.
That's nowhere near the spread or the overflow. Yep.
Three and a half field goals. Just need a kick.

Speaker 1 What's great is getting that third field goal in right before halftime. Yes.
Then you're golden. Okay, weekend preview.

Speaker 1 But before we do the weekend preview, let's do a quick news that we have to talk about. So we have two things we have to talk about, PFT.
The first, sad.

Speaker 1 The second, I don't know where it's going to land. The first, sad,

Speaker 1 Brock Osweiler. Yeah, R.I.P.
Brocktober. It's fitting that he did it in Brocktober, isn't it? This is his time.
This is his month.

Speaker 1 What I've noticed about the news coverage of his retirement is that it's been just straight up people saying, I'm so glad he earned this money. Yes.

Speaker 1 That's the only thing people are saying about Brock Osweiler. And it's true.
He earned a shitload of money for playing in like, I don't know, he started like 12 or 13 games. I have the stats.

Speaker 1 He went 15 and 15 career record, 37 TDs, 31 interceptions. He won a Super Bowl.
So some of the headlines did say Super Bowl winning quarterback Brock Osweiler. He made $41 million.

Speaker 1 And on top of all that, he has a grammatically incorrect tattoo on his bicep. That's true.
And that GIF.

Speaker 1 The Peyton Manning one. Yes, that's true.
Where he he puts his car. Somebody should do one of those for his retirement where he's about to retire and then Peyton Manning says, no, I'm going to retire.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Was it Live Life to It Is Fullest? Yeah, it is.
So it's IT apostrophe S. He meant to say Live Life to Its Fullest.
Yeah. It's sad.
It was very sad. PFT quote.

Speaker 1 Here's something nice.

Speaker 1 Arizona State. I'm sure that if you factor in the money he made, they can put that into some pamphlets and be like the average Arizona State grad.
Well, no, there's no way he graduated.

Speaker 1 He didn't graduate. Okay, never mind.
Well, and nobody really graduates from Arizona State. Yeah.
You just kind of

Speaker 1 graduate to maybe hardcore Molly instead of the little pussy shit you've been doing all.

Speaker 1 You know how they say, like, if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere? That's actually not true at all.

Speaker 1 If you can make it in Arizona State, if you can survive four years of college there and graduate with a paper degree, then you can literally do anything that you want because everyone drops out.

Speaker 1 If you can make it out of Arizona State without an STD, you're a virgin. Well, that just, yeah, it doesn't happen.
Yeah, yeah, right, right. Okay, so that was our first one.
He's tall, though.

Speaker 1 I mean, he should, he should do the, you know, when Tom Brady got suspended and everyone did the hilarious meme about Dom Grady.

Speaker 1 He should do that, and John Elway will draft him 1-1.

Speaker 1 Probably. He could probably squeeze another one out of there.

Speaker 1 I'll always remember Brock Osweiler for being traded from the Texans to the Browns for negative $60 million, I think, which is what it it was. They basically

Speaker 1 said, we'll pay you to take the Brocket ship. We need to clear the books.
Yep. Yeah.
Okay, so let's do.

Speaker 1 Oh, so the other news, speaking of the Browns, Miles Garrett was stopped on a street, got out of his car, and got punched in the face by a fan. He didn't get out of his car.

Speaker 1 There was a guy that pulled up next to him in traffic, recognized him, got out, went up to his window, and said, hey, can I take a picture with you? Took a selfie and then punched him in the face.

Speaker 1 Did you buy this? And then got back in his car, drove away. I don't know, man, because if you were to pick one guy in the world that you don't want to punch in the face randomly, it's Miles Garrett.

Speaker 1 Not only because of his size, his stature, how strong he is, but how about the fact that he is the one guy on the Browns you cannot blame for this terrible start? Right. It's a list.

Speaker 1 Like, if you made a list of all the Browns players,

Speaker 1 he would be dead last. I actually would say Swagger, and I don't condone hitting dogs, but Swagger quit on the team last week.
That's fucked up. Literally quit on the the team.
That's fucked up.

Speaker 1 So, right? He retired. They were mid-season.
Yeah. Freddy Kitchens is definitely number two.
Because he get punched.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Freddy Kitchens would be like number one, then the entire offensive line, then the refs, because you've got to blame the refs in there somewhere.

Speaker 1 And then like Miles Garrett is probably like 60 after every single equipment guy, all the physical trainers. Miles Garrett is last.
Maybe like some guys who were on the team.

Speaker 1 Demon Cajust, but he's not on the team anymore yet. But you could also make the argument that's his right as a fan.
Yeah. Since he pays his salary, he buys tickets.
It's like the Monica Sellers thing.

Speaker 1 If you buy a ticket to get into an event, you are within your rights

Speaker 1 to do.

Speaker 1 Hank, do you even know that story?

Speaker 1 No. Oh.
Monica Sellos got stabbed literally in the back by a fan, by a crazy stalker fan. In between sets.
Yeah. In a tennis match.
Sheesh. Yeah.
She finished and won. Really? No.
No.

Speaker 1 She basically ruined a bunch of people. Hockey player would have.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do we have for a pick, by the way?

Speaker 1 We're not even in an ad anymore. We're not in picks either.
Are we starting? No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 That was like a pre-pick situation. Oh, I was doing Larry's picks with Larry.
That's why I wasn't. Oh, okay.
Did you want to do a pick? Sure. He's on the Lions.

Speaker 1 Okay, you weren't going to give us cues this time? That was fun. We had to figure out what you're doing.
Okay, okay. Next one.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Lions.

Speaker 1 Let's do our own picks. Let's talk about the slate first.

Speaker 1 Decent?

Speaker 1 I would say... Not bad.
Not bad. Three and a half balls.
We've got a couple good ones, like Baltimore, Seattle. Fraud game.
That's a good, not a fraud game. The Baltimore.

Speaker 1 I'm standing up for my Baltimore, all the non-frauds out there.

Speaker 1 It's too early to drop the F-bomb. You know what? I heard from a lot of Ravens fans, and the only thing I'll take back from my statements on Monday is that I actually didn't.

Speaker 1 I said that the Ravens fans might be the sneaky, most annoying fans on Twitter. I take that part back because a lot of them are very realistic about their team.
And they're like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Lamar is awesome. Agreed.
Defense, very suspect. And don't get fooled by the purple uniforms and the visors and all that stuff.
Ray Lewis isn't walking out that door.

Speaker 1 So if the Ravens win this game, I will tweet. I was wrong.

Speaker 1 You, parentheses, Ravens fans were right. The Ravens aren't a fraud.
Okay. I will tweet that.
Someone remind me because I'm never going to remember where I just went. New Orleans, Chicago.

Speaker 1 That's a good game. Ooh, that one's going to be ugly.
I don't think there's going to be a lot of points.

Speaker 1 In theory, I should be excited about Philadelphia and Dallas, but this is about the time of the season.

Speaker 1 It happens every single year, mid-October, where I'm sick of seeing the Cowboys' uniforms in primetime games. I'm just sick of them.
Yep. That's a loser-leaves town game.
It is.

Speaker 1 Big-time loser-leaves town game. I think the Bears-Saints game is our, are we sure they're good? It's actually a rare, are we sure they're good slash-great game?

Speaker 1 Because if the Saints win, they might be great. If the Bears win, they could be good.
Uh-huh. I think we got another,

Speaker 1 are we sure they're a good game?

Speaker 1 The Detroit Lions and the Vikings. Ooh, yes.
It's a pendulum game for Cousins right now because Cousins is due to swing back. I think the Lions defense is pretty good, actually.
So

Speaker 1 this feels to me like a Cousins one touchdown, two interceptions game, maybe get Adam Thielen killed on a cross route, like something bizarre happening, a very hilarious fumble six. Yep.

Speaker 1 And then next week after that, it's his homecoming to the Redskins where he's going to beat them by 50. Yes, I agree.
That is the Kirk Cousins on the road always has to make you nervous.

Speaker 1 And then, all right, last one before we get to our picks, the other game I'm very interested in. It's the rare Raiders.
Are we doing this? Because if the Raiders can somehow win this game in Lambeau,

Speaker 1 now it's actually a real conversation, right? Yeah, it is. Did you hear what Matt LaFleur did? The new rule he put in this week? No.
Said no sack celebrations for his players.

Speaker 1 Because somebody did the fake going to sleep after they hit, what was their last game? Oh, it was against Matt Stafford. Yeah, they sacked Stafford and they pretended to fall asleep.

Speaker 1 And Matt LaFleur is not having that. So Matt LaFleur

Speaker 1 is starting to become not the player's coach you thought he was. That is weak.
Takes away the ping-pong tables, too. Do you think he has someone in his family who suffers from narcolepsy?

Speaker 1 And that's why he was like, don't do that. He was personally affected by it.
Now the players aren't going to have any incentive to get a sack.

Speaker 1 His cousin, Brian Winhorse, was very upset about it.

Speaker 1 Listen, if you don't let the players celebrate a sack, that's actually

Speaker 1 something that we're joking about, but it is real that you can't ban something like that when, what do you get? Maybe four or five sacks a game? Well, counterpoint, you'll remember.

Speaker 1 You remember the Lions?

Speaker 1 They had two players that tore patellar tendons or ACLs celebrating a sack. That was hilarious, though.
Lamar Houston did not play. We don't cheer fairs.
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 We don't cheer for injuries.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it wasn't funny.

Speaker 1 In theory, it would have been funny if it wasn't real. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Got it. Got it.
Lamar Houston did it in a 30-point blowout against the Patriots.

Speaker 1 He sacked Jimmy Garoppolo, the backup, and he fucking tore his ACL. What a dummy.
God damn. Okay, let's do some picks.
Favorites, Hank,

Speaker 1 who does not like to bet favorites. He's a Moneyline addicted fiend.
Three weeks in a row, Moneyline, every single game, Moneyline Dogs, come out positive three weeks in a row.

Speaker 1 So I'll do the only one I'm not going to do, Moneyline Dog, is the Bills. So I'll take the Bills as my favorite.
Okay.

Speaker 1 17. 17, Hank.
That's a lot of points. Yeah.
They covered last week. You know what they say? Too many points.
Yeah. You can say that.
Too many points. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, my favorite is going to be.

Speaker 1 Actually, I take that back.

Speaker 1 I am taking the Dolphins

Speaker 1 Moneyline Dog. Okay.
I'll do the.

Speaker 1 Fuck. See, I don't like any of these other favorites.
I'll do the Niners, I guess. Oh, man.
Okay. All right, my favorite.

Speaker 1 If the Redskins won, I won't be shocked.

Speaker 1 My favorite is actually going to be Buffalo. Yeah, I just talked you out of that so I could claim it as my own.
Hey, last week... What?

Speaker 1 Are you done with the Dolphins? No, I'm not done with the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 This is a big moment. Last week was the only week that I didn't bet on the Dolphins, and they ended up covering the spread.
Damn. So that pissed me off, so now I'm mad at the Dolphins.
You're chasing.

Speaker 1 No, I'm disavowing. Yeah, you're chasing, like, losing when you didn't bet on them.
And then

Speaker 1 you're going to lose so much money on the Dolphins. I'm in a brain zone.

Speaker 1 I'm in the PFT brain zone against the Dolphins right now, and the Bills are rested right now. Yes.

Speaker 1 I think that this is going to be, I mean, it's a home game, so it's going to beat the shit out of them.

Speaker 1 Dolphins will probably show up in those candy ass uniforms, and Bills are wearing the color rushes. Fuck yeah.
So Dolphins are getting fucked up. Yeah.
No,

Speaker 1 Urin, you are never going to win another bet on the Dolphins this year because you're basically in the personal revenge zone. Yes.
And you could chase.

Speaker 1 a team from coast to coast trying to get personal revenge and lose all your money. My balls are fighting my brain.
Yep.

Speaker 1 This could be a huge Bills letdown game, though, where it's like, oh, we had the bye week and then somehow we came out and lost. No, that's not a lot.
A trap game would be like a very good win.

Speaker 1 Then you go on the road to Bama next weekend. Yeah, exactly.
They had a buy, so it's like, oh, we have a buy. We have an extra week, and it's Miami.
So it's like, there's no way they lose.

Speaker 1 Somehow they do. I think that the Bills upset Miami.
The only way Miami is going to upset a team is if that team doesn't have an awesome defense.

Speaker 1 The Bills are going to just body them. You don't want to play against the Bills if you're a winless Miami Dolphins team.

Speaker 1 Okay, my favorite, I'm going to go with the Rams. That's a get-right game.
I think this is it. I think Dan Quinn might get fired after this game because their defense is so bad.
It's Rams minus three.

Speaker 1 Jalen Ramsey, will he play? Yeah. Yeah, he's going to play.
Right. Okay, so his kid was born and he's all good.

Speaker 1 I don't know if the kid's born yet, but I did see

Speaker 1 Sean McVay greeting Jalen Ramsey when he walked into the facility. Yep.
They gave the handshake and the back slap, and the handshake fucking slapped. Fuck.
It's called a dap. It was

Speaker 1 called the dap. They dapped the fuck out of it.
They dapped each other. It was the opposite of the Jerry Jones

Speaker 1 super white everyone

Speaker 1 slap five, but also pound each other. I feel like it was perfect.
Sean McVay is definitely top three in NFL coaches currently in terms of connecting percentage on handshakes.

Speaker 1 I would say number one dap, number one dap coach would be surprising to you guys, I think. I think it's Pete Carroll.
Yep. No, that's not you.
Now that you mention it, I don't think that's surprising.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's ever missed one.

Speaker 1 He's like that old dude from that Vine in the school wearing the backpack where he did like the six different levels to the handshake

Speaker 1 Oh, you know, he was probably good because he played. You know, sneaky one.
I bet you Bruce Arians doesn't miss a dap. I bet you he's he's the type of guy.

Speaker 1 He's got that old guy swag where he knows what he could handshake in any decade in the history of handshakes. He probably just like does cheers.

Speaker 1 He probably just always has a glass of Canadian whiskey and just tapped the glasses. He's like, asks his assistant, like, this guy just came in to meet me.
Can you grab my handshake glass?

Speaker 1 You'll have a drink? Yeah. No, I'm fine.
It's 9 a.m. No, I'll have a drink.
Oh, yeah, that's how we dap. Like, hell, you will.
That's interesting. Who's the best dapper in all of...
The worst dapper.

Speaker 1 That's the real question.

Speaker 1 Worst dapper. Jason Garrett.
Jason Garrett's up there. For sure.
Bill O'Brien can't be good. No.
I feel like Bill O'Brien misses a lot of them.

Speaker 1 Adam Gace is a weirdo. Adam Gace definitely goes in for the handshake and then pulls it back.
It's like, he's got clammy hands. The eyes are all over the place.
He's probably.

Speaker 1 He does, like, the majority of his handshakes envelop somebody trying to give him the fist pound Zimmer has bad death perception in his eyes Zimmer just misses he just keeps fucking like hitting people in the chest with his hands Zimmer probably just spits on you to say hello Patricia doesn't seem like a guy who really cares about the handshake.

Speaker 1 No, so he probably's in and out. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so underdogs Hank all of them. Oh

Speaker 1 Okay, put them down the one that I like the most though is probably

Speaker 1 the Ravens. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm getting frustrated with Hank doing this

Speaker 1 underdog thing just because he's so successful at it. Well, and it sucks because we know I want to do it.
We'll mush it. But we'll mush it and we'll hop on the train.

Speaker 1 You can't get on this train midway through the street. And then we'd ruin it for Hank.
So, Hank, considering that. I'm close to getting off.
I've been at the stop twice the past two weeks.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm going to get off of the next stop. And then I get close to it and I look at the board and I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm just going to ride it one more week. This will probably be my last week.
But, stat of the week, if you blindly bet $100 on every NFL underdog money lens, lens?

Speaker 1 So far this season, you'd be up $1,400. Okay, whoa.
Okay, so hey, consider, how about this? Since we're not getting on the underdog train and we're letting you ride that and make money off it,

Speaker 1 how about you just split some of your earnings from this point forward with us? Because if we were on that train, you would immediately lose. Deal, and you guys will take half my debt.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't say that. Nope, nope, no deal.
Because you're not going to lose, so there's not going to be any debt. Right.
Yeah. So why would you even want us to give you the debt? You never know.

Speaker 1 Okay. Sounds like you're not.
I'll buy up all your debt.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 repackage it. Yeah, put it into a bond and sell it to PFT.
We should do synthetic, what are those synthetic CDOs and then just sell our bets to other bookies?

Speaker 1 People forget, because I haven't mentioned it in a while. I read the big short.

Speaker 1 So fun fact, one of the guys that I went on the bachelor party with, his bookie actually started off his business by taking investments from everybody. Okay.

Speaker 1 And now he's using his profits that he's made. So he got like $3,500, $4,000 from a big group of people to start his bookie business.
Right.

Speaker 1 And now he's paying them off on a yearly basis in dividends and his own profits. And so he's basically started his own stock market

Speaker 1 based on losers. I love it.
Paying it forward. I love it.

Speaker 1 My underdog is going to be the Arwards because homecoming weekend. There we go.
Nine and a half points, homecoming weekend. Say no more.

Speaker 1 Kyle Shanahan probably misses his dad dropping him off at the dances. Say no more.

Speaker 1 They're going to get their asses kicked. But the one weekend, the Redskins, I didn't bet on them last weekend.

Speaker 1 I thought about

Speaker 1 taking them straight up. Yeah.
And I didn't. And so now I'm mad about that.
And also just homecoming weekend. You are in a personal revenge spot on the Dolphins and the Redskins, sir.
You are

Speaker 1 about to.

Speaker 1 Are you too big to fail? No, it's a weird. Yes, I am too big to fail.

Speaker 1 I would hope so, because if you chase the Redskins and Dolphins, you're in trouble. Yes.
But you have have to.

Speaker 1 You need justice. I think they were both 0-4 against the spread going into last weekend.

Speaker 1 All right, my underdog is going to be the Eagles. I'm going to bet the money line on that.
I don't even need the 2.5, three points. Give me the money line.
That's going to be our Sunday night, Hank.

Speaker 1 You're going to love that. We're going to bet that.
We're going to cheer. Cheer for the Eagles big time.

Speaker 1 Give me your over, Hank.

Speaker 1 Rams Falcons. Ah, that's mine, too.

Speaker 1 Okay. PFT.
Jared's about to light it up this weekend. Yeah, see, I can feel it in my plums.
Yes, he is.

Speaker 1 He's a long time Jared fan. Four games out there.

Speaker 1 Longer than you?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, actually, no.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Fact, no.

Speaker 1 Fact, check, no. I should clarify that I did bet the Redskins against the spread last week against the Dolphins, and both teams fucked me over.

Speaker 1 I somehow lost both.

Speaker 1 Okay, so my over is Baltimore, Seattle, 49.5. I like that as well.
Points points, points, points, points, points, points.

Speaker 1 All right, let's finish with the unders, and then we'll go to Fantasy Fuck Boys. I'm an idiot.
I reverse myself. My over is the Saints Bears, and my under is the Rams Falcons.
Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 Hank, do you want to do your down unders? When did you become sharp? I don't know. Like, you're betting sharp things.
I don't like it.

Speaker 1 Do you see what he's doing? He's hit? He's hypnotized himself. Yeah, he just took the lowest under, and he bet the over, and then he took the highest over, and he bet the under.
Like, that's a sharp.

Speaker 1 He's a smart person with that. Right.
Everyone else does the reverse. But, Hank, don't you think that those two high-powered offenses are going to score a lot of points?

Speaker 1 I think the Rams are going to score a lot of points.

Speaker 1 I think the Falcons, you think the Falcons are going to score a lot of points because it's the Falcons, but they're actually Julio Jones, Calvin Ridley. Yeah.
They got a lot of Devontae Freeman.

Speaker 1 Matt Ryan's not a bad quarterback. Yep.
A lot of guys. All right, PFT, your under.
My under is Houston Indy, under 47 and a half. I kind of like both the defenses.
Yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to finish off with Vikings Lions under 44. That feels like, like you said earlier, Kirk Cousins is going to have a Kurt Cousins game on the lines.
They're going to grind that out.

Speaker 1 All right, should we do it? Should we do fantasy fuck boys? And we got Derek Watt and Steve Vocos.

Speaker 1 What's up, boys?

Speaker 1 It's Geo Gorgonzola. Hey, Geo, Stinky Cheese Beef.
My stardom is AI.

Speaker 1 No, not the answer. I'm talking artificial intelligence.
You just crossed us off. They got about real dolls.
They got this shit. You do ad reads and you don't even say a word.
That's the future.

Speaker 1 It's fucked. Can we do that? Yeah.
All right. Probably, maybe.
I don't know. It's scary.
What if this spans your fuck boys' AI? One day, you never know. Right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My sit him is gray hands.

Speaker 1 LeBron's beard went gray. All the China situation stressed him out.
He's getting old. He's looking bad.
He needs a die job quick. You know, gray hair shame.
That's fine. That's fine.
Freddy. Frog.

Speaker 1 Geo.

Speaker 1 Geo.

Speaker 1 And my sleeper is Matt Ryan. It goes against what Hank just said, but only one quarterback has averaged 40 attempts per game the last 16.
And that's right. It's Maddie fucking ice.
Hank's an idiot.

Speaker 1 Don't make a shitload of money for Hank this weekend.

Speaker 1 What's up, fuck Edges? This is Malzadong. I'm here to tell you this weekend I'm starting money.
That's right. All the sticky green cash, all the cash money, all the change in my pocket.

Speaker 1 You know what you can use money to buy. That's right.
Soup, because it's soup season. Oh, tax return season, bitches.

Speaker 1 I'm Charlie. Chili? Chili's a soup.
I'm talking chowder, bisque, you name it. Wedding soup, broccoli cheddar, baked potato.
I could go on and on and on. I'm sitting doing nice things for your mother.

Speaker 1 That's right, because it's going to backfire on her. You're trying to do something nice for her birthday.
Set her up with some nice tickets to a good baseball game. Send her to the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Next thing you know, the internet's talking about some random guy fucking her. By the bill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my

Speaker 1 bad.

Speaker 1 My sleep with Saquon Barkley.

Speaker 1 People think that Saquon Barkley, he's been out. He's been out for a long time.
People forget that he's coming back this week. Get him off your IR.
Put him back onto your roster.

Speaker 1 Almost fucked BFC Comms over with that one, but he's a smart guy. He remember to check.

Speaker 1 Alright, what's up, guys? It's Frankie Fettuccini. My stardom this week.
He's used that name like podcast. That's fine.
I don't give a fuck. My stardom this week is Brooks Tepka.

Speaker 1 He fucking put that nerd. Rory McElroy in a locker.
He said he hasn't won shit in five years. Brooks, go, Brooks, go.
Go, Brooks, you fucking Blake. Mike Sinem is Space Jam 2.

Speaker 1 If you watch Space Jam 2, you support China and all they're doing and the bad stuff. And we already disavowed that shit.

Speaker 1 LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China because he wants to sell his stupid movie. Space Jam 2, Space Jam 1, better MJ better than LeBron.
Graybeard, old fuck.

Speaker 1 My cousin sells him on bootlegs on the corner, though, if you want to see it before it comes out. My sleeper is Mike Golick.
Mike Golick will give you a fuck massage that will put you to sleep.

Speaker 1 He gave a fuck massage live on air today. Holy Holy shit, that guy gave a butt massage.
HFT probably wants one of them. Stew Gods.
Yeah. He got an ass like this guy.
Stew God's fancy fuck boys.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah, Michael, you did that.
I saw that. Yeah, they were paying up a bet that they lost like two years ago.
Butt massage? Yeah. I thought it was greeny.

Speaker 1 I had to do a triple take because I thought Stewart was green. I know.
I know. Trust me.
No, they're not touching butts anymore.

Speaker 1 They've touched that butt enough.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do Derek Watt. So we have Derek Watt on the show.

Speaker 1 No, we don't do that, although he told us a funny story about that. And before we get to Derek Watt, a.
I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.

Speaker 1 It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides.

Speaker 1 Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 4 Get Uber One for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats.
With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.
Savings may vary.

Speaker 4 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 1 Y'all.

Speaker 1 Cowboys. We got it.
Cowboys. Nope.
Texans. Texans.
There you go. Okay, so let's do Derek Watt.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Derek Watt, the forgotten Watt brother.
Is it okay if I say that?

Speaker 5 That's fine.

Speaker 5 Whatever works for you, I'll take it.

Speaker 1 Okay, well,

Speaker 1 you might be the forgotten Watt brother, but you probably are our favorite Watt brother because, one, you went to the University of Wisconsin, which obviously I went to, and two, you're fullback, which means PFT loves you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Definitely. I appreciate that, guys.
I appreciate the support.

Speaker 5 Like you said, I see it all the time on Twitter. There's a third Watt brother, so I see it all the time.

Speaker 1 Well, you're partially to blame for that.

Speaker 1 Now, you're you your initials are DJ and you could easily be DJ and your brother TJ and your other brother JJ so that I think would go a long way in having people realize that you're a third WAP brother but you decided at an early age that that was not going to be your your path

Speaker 5 this is true yes that could be a big you know significant role in it but yeah when I was

Speaker 5 Shoot, I think like five or six years old, I just kind of came home one day and told my mom, no, no DJ, just Derek.

Speaker 5 And I know she had said the other day that so she started calling me just Derek, not, you know, so she was using it like calling me just Derek. Hey, come here, just Derek.

Speaker 1 I was like, no, no, no, Derek.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 5 I got DJ from Full House and DW from Arthur, stuff like that. I was like, just call me my name.

Speaker 1 So I kind of put an end on that stuff when I was a kid. Okay.
So we do know your brother, JJ. We haven't met TJ yet.
Haven't had the pleasure. JJ said he could kick your ass.

Speaker 1 Would you like to respond to that?

Speaker 5 He's a big man, but

Speaker 5 we haven't really had any battles where we've had to worry about that. So, you know, we're brothers.

Speaker 5 We fought we were kids, but it was usually TJ and I versus JJ because he was much bigger than us at the time.

Speaker 1 So when you guys go to, when you visit JJ's compound, the training cabinets. No, no, his rustic

Speaker 1 cabin. Yeah, which we've been to.

Speaker 1 What is the sport that you guys all compete in?

Speaker 1 And is there a point where, because we always get fascinated by this, like the Harbaugh brothers, they always talk about when they compete and then it gets a little too serious.

Speaker 1 Does it still get a little too serious sometimes when you guys are all competing in something?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, it's, shoot, there's not one sport. It's whatever we're doing.
We're always competing. And,

Speaker 5 you know, whether we're doing a workout and whoever's jumping the farthest in the sandpit, whoever's, you know.

Speaker 5 making the most shots or playing basketball, something like that.

Speaker 5 Whatever you're doing, you're arguing about something.

Speaker 5 It's never, no one's ever a clear-cut winner there's always some sort of dispute and competition is always at the forefront and uh yeah it's it's always uh a battle of some sort that's for sure i can imagine yeah uh who is your favorite player that you've ever had to block for and why is it danny woodhead

Speaker 5 oh i love danny uh danny's a great guy obviously obviously i would uh you know i've known melvin for seven years at this point and i've been around him uh you know been with him forever but danny honestly took me under his wing when i came in as a rookie so i have I love Danny.

Speaker 5 You know, him and his family are great. They took my wife in and I in when we were rookies.
And, you know, I know you guys are big fans of them, and I'm a big fan of them as well.

Speaker 1 Best friends. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 So you recently became a father. Did Phil Rivers start respecting you more

Speaker 1 once you had a kid? He's like, all right, you all right, mother freaker.

Speaker 1 You're one-ninth of the way there. Now we can actually be boys.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he said I got a long way to go, but it's a step in the right direction. And I told him there's no chance I'm catching you, man.

Speaker 5 I don't know how in the world they're doing that.

Speaker 5 That is wild.

Speaker 1 Well, did I have an idea of how they're doing it? But yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Does he ever show up with all of his kids at once?

Speaker 5 No, I've never seen them. I don't think I've ever seen them all together.
And once I've seen them in little crumps, I don't know if

Speaker 5 they can all get to one place at one time in one vehicle.

Speaker 1 I've always wondered that.

Speaker 5 I think they have their own school bus, honestly.

Speaker 1 He's going to get a show on TLC eventually. That's so funny that no one's seen all the kids at once.
You see a few here, you see a few there, and then you piece it together in your brain.

Speaker 1 All right, I know those four, and I've seen those two, and then there's another three over there. That was perfect.

Speaker 1 So let's talk a little Badger football because I am. Now, obviously, it's a little different because you played, and it's always different on the player's side and the fan side.

Speaker 1 But I have my hopes up all the way now, and that means that I'm going to get them, my guts ripped out of my chest. Where are you, do you still watch the Badgers? Are you able to follow the team?

Speaker 1 I know it's been a few years since you've been

Speaker 1 in Madison, but are you able to follow the team? And how do you feel this team's going to do the rest of the year?

Speaker 5 Definitely. Yes.
So we are able to follow the team.

Speaker 5 It's crazy. The game against Ohio State, I just saw the other day.
It's going to get noon central.

Speaker 5 That sucker will start at 9 a.m. out here.
That's what's crazy about

Speaker 5 games. It's 9 a.m.
start here.

Speaker 5 We're going to be in meetings on Saturday morning when it starts, but I'll be able to catch most of the second half. I usually am able to.

Speaker 5 I think they're great, man. They're off to a great start, as you've been watching.
I would love to not see your guts ripped out, mine as well. I'm very invested,

Speaker 5 always will be.

Speaker 5 There's still a few guys left that I played with when I was there.

Speaker 5 It's good to see them, you know, and a lot of the coaches are the same.

Speaker 5 So always supporting the Badgers, and it'll be, you know, if they can beat Ohio State, it'll, you know, really, I think, kind of put them over

Speaker 5 that next step that'll get them some more respect in the polls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in a weird way,

Speaker 1 I don't want to say I don't want them to beat Ohio State in Columbus, but if they beat Ohio State in Columbus, then I would put it at a 0% chance we beat them again in Indy.

Speaker 1 So in a weird way, I want to use this as a recon mission and get close and then beat them in Indy and go to the college football football playoffs and then win the national championship, and then I'll just die of happiness.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, no, I'll die of smugness on Twitter, just sticking it in everyone's face. I'll be the most insufferable person in the world.

Speaker 5 I don't 100% disagree with that. It is hard to beat a team twice in one year,

Speaker 5 but I'd like to hope that we can do it.

Speaker 5 You know, worst case, like you said, recon mission, get close, get all their secrets, and, you know, know that you can hang with them and then take it to them in the Big Ten Championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that'd be real tough, though, if you lost in this big ten did you ever did you ever uh bounce at wandos or no

Speaker 5 no i did not

Speaker 1 bounce at wando what was your we'll do one uh totally not relatable question what was your favorite bar in madison

Speaker 1 um i went to wandos a decent amount i would say wandos is probably the place to be wandos is the bar that uh they basically have like they have more draft picks than most non-power five schools

Speaker 1 in terms of bouncers in terms of like that's like they have that's like nick sabin lets you work at a Mercedes-Benz dealership at Alabama.

Speaker 1 In Wisconsin, they just have you bounce at a barn. Right.
They'll have years where there'll be like four draft picks bounced at one.

Speaker 1 I'm looking through this recent history of tweets. Your kid Logan is very cute.
And I'm looking at the controversy going on between JJ and TJ fighting for who gets to be the favorite uncle.

Speaker 1 One just free tip: if you're an uncle out there, if you want to be known as a favorite uncle, just teach the kid that your name is favorite uncle and then your name. It's a really easy life hack.

Speaker 1 But I'm looking at the Halloween costumes that were sent by JJ and TJ. And JJ is gloating that he's the favorite uncle because he sent a cool lion as opposed to a pumpkin one.

Speaker 1 Can you confirm that JJ is the official favorite uncle?

Speaker 5 Well, JJ actually sent both of those costumes.

Speaker 5 Him and his fiancé sent both the lion and the pumpkin. TJ did not send the costume, so there's that.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Wow.

Speaker 1 Easy.

Speaker 5 TJ did send, you know, he sent a Steelers Steelers jersey, number 90. JJ got wind of that once TJ played.
Whenever TJ's playing, I'm not playing, I'll let him wear it.

Speaker 5 So JJ said a Texans jersey is in the mail. So we just got that a couple days ago.

Speaker 1 So they're battling it out.

Speaker 5 JJ was here two, three weeks ago. Logan would not smile.
He couldn't get a smile out of him. And TJ was here this past weekend.

Speaker 5 And I think it was partially the circumstances, but the environment we were, Logan was smiling a little bit more with TJ. So, you know, JJ kind of admitted admitted the upper hand to TJ right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn. Okay, I like that.
Keep us updated on the Uncle Power rankings as the season moves along. I want to talk to you real quick.
I'm a big fan of fullbacks, as Big Cat mentioned earlier.

Speaker 1 Did you see former Wisconsin fullback Alec Ingold's fullback assist against in London? It was against the Bears, where he dove like three yards into something.

Speaker 1 Have you ever even thought about doing that?

Speaker 5 You know, you got to do what you got to do.

Speaker 5 It's the goal line, man. And he made a great play there and,

Speaker 5 helped the running back get in, and that's what you got to do.

Speaker 1 He was a pretty solid play. I've never seen that before.
And then I'd like you to talk me through.

Speaker 1 Last year, the playoffs, you had an opportunity to score touchdown in the game against the Ravens, and you pulled maybe the most fullback move of all time to try to get into the end zone, like a barrel roll from two yards out on the ground to get.

Speaker 1 Can you walk me through that play?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 you know, it was a ball. It was kind of low, and I tried to get low and doe for it, and no one was there touching me.
I was like, shoot, I'm not in yet.

Speaker 5 So I tried to do the old stop, drop, and roll into the end zone. I thought I was in.
Replay showed I was in, but the refs kind of called otherwise, and I still am touchdownless to this point.

Speaker 1 That's unfortunate. One in college.
One in college.

Speaker 5 One in college. One in college.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so that's eight years of playing the position and one touchdown.

Speaker 1 That's almost better, though, that you only have that one touchdown.

Speaker 1 To me, it's more of a fullback if you just get one and you're like, you know what? Scoring's kind of overrated. I'd rather let the other guy do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, one is what yeah, one is better than having like four. Yeah.
If you got like ten, then it's like, okay, this guy scores, but one is like, ooh, there's that one.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I got you. I respect that.

Speaker 1 I don't disagree.

Speaker 1 Wait, does how JJ must has like four or five touchdowns, right? Shit. yeah yeah that sucks if he plays defense has more touchdowns damn um

Speaker 1 did you have you ever met bolt man

Speaker 1 bolt man i i don't think i've ever met him no damn okay well that was a bad question by me um

Speaker 1 uh you have a lot for me pf i got you you got a lot of footballs behind you how many game balls are are they giving to fullbacks these days Yeah, yeah, I got a couple.

Speaker 5 Some are for offense.

Speaker 5 I got more than more more than, more, most of them are for special teams, you know, special teams player of the game.

Speaker 1 Gotcha.

Speaker 5 Because that's where I'm making most of the impact. Yeah, getting my tackles on special teams.

Speaker 1 You know, we should have like a favorite uncle competition between us, like, amongst the Watt Brothers. Oh, if we just want to get, yeah,

Speaker 1 we started sending Derek's son a bunch of clothes and stuff. Absolutely.
Actually, it's us. Yeah, can we inject ourselves into this rivalry? I'm going to go with JJ as uncle.
Sure. That would be fun.

Speaker 1 Hey, speaking of that, did you, when the oh hey, JJs were like at their peak, did you notice them? Did you know that it was going on?

Speaker 5 So, my wife, that's funny. My wife was actually just, I told her I was doing this, and she said, Didn't they used to kind of make fun of JJ with the ahay JJ stuff?

Speaker 5 And I was like, I was like, Yeah, yeah, those were

Speaker 5 going around. Well, I definitely saw a few of them, that's for sure.
Yeah, they made it pretty big.

Speaker 1 Well, he's grown as people.

Speaker 1 Well, not only that, but I think we knew that it was, you know, JJ actually like dealt with it perfectly by like kind of getting in on the joke and then and then we've had a couple of times where he's come by and it's always been fun and that's the best way it was actually a perfect lesson in how to just disarm a joke is to just accept it and then and then it kind of dies on its own no one does it anymore yeah yeah

Speaker 1 it's funny though that that's like uh i always think about that like shit yeah we were kind of we were kind of assholes but you know what like we we actually the fact that we were assholes to jj to begin with and now we've like kind of calmed that that tension down between us like we like jj a lot, and I think he likes us too.

Speaker 1 So, uh, it was perfect the way it worked out. Um, I got one last question for you: uh, what's your favorite word that Philip Rivers uses instead of a cuss word?

Speaker 5 It's got to be dad gum,

Speaker 1 dad gum,

Speaker 5 there's really only that and shoot

Speaker 1 and dad gum and mother freaker,

Speaker 5 mother freaker, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 and gracious, gracious to Pete.

Speaker 1 Gracious to Pete,

Speaker 1 shoot,

Speaker 5 He's got me saying shoot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But gracious to Pete, he definitely does say too. And

Speaker 5 he doesn't, I mean,

Speaker 5 he's not yelling them at us very often. It's usually at the other team or, you know, in lightheartedness.
But yeah, it's usually dad gum. Gracious to Pete.
I forgot about that one.

Speaker 1 What about at the end of a game in the fourth quarter? Let's say it's like, I don't know, 6:30 p.m. on a Sunday, and you guys are down a score.
What's Phil saying to the team?

Speaker 1 What's he saying on the sideline? What's he saying in the huddle?

Speaker 1 Man, he's just, let's go.

Speaker 5 We got to go down score. We got to go in this one.
And

Speaker 5 he's good at being that leadership role. And he'll,

Speaker 5 you know, when you do something wrong, he'll let you know about it. But, you know, he's good at, he's got that motivator factor to him.
And,

Speaker 5 you know, you're never out of the game when you got Philip a quarterback.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I always feel like you have a chance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's been in that spot before, so you can feel it.

Speaker 5 Definitely, definitely.

Speaker 1 All right, my last question. So JJ did the commencement speech in Madison.

Speaker 1 I'm assuming TJ will do it at some point, which leads me to ask, me versus you, who do we think has a better chance of doing a commencement speech in Madison?

Speaker 5 I would guess you 100%.

Speaker 1 Because I'd say we're on the same level of grad at this point.

Speaker 1 Like, the TJ and JJ are way above us, but I feel like we might we maybe we just go a package deal, the two of us, and we pitch it to them.

Speaker 1 You get a Watt brother, and you get a guy who probably they don't want to be associated with the university, and we'll throw that at them.

Speaker 5 I'm down for that. I mean, neither of those two graduated, so that's the, that's the worst.

Speaker 1 Oh, good point. And you did?

Speaker 5 That's the craziest part.

Speaker 1 I graduated. Oh, you're an alumni.
I did too. Let's go.

Speaker 5 So we got two graduates, and combined has to be better than... A single non-graduate, right?

Speaker 1 I agree. I agree.
Points all around. I agree.
All right. Well, Derek, thank you, man.

Speaker 1 And by the way, we need to, I think it was actually because you were about to have a kid, but we proposed the idea to JJ. We want to do it next year.

Speaker 1 We want to have part of my take versus the Watt Brothers

Speaker 1 Olympics, where it's me, Hank, and PFT versus you, TJ, and JJ. We can pick 10 events, and we just duel it out for a couple hours at his rustic cabin

Speaker 1 one day in the spring. I like our odds.

Speaker 5 All right. Yeah,

Speaker 5 that would make for some good TV, some good video, whatever you got. And if you guys, we'll accept that challenge every day of the week.

Speaker 1 Okay. You don't know the event.
First challenge. First challenge, most college degrees wins.
We have two out of our three. You have one out of three.
Done.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 5 You guys take the first one. That might be the only one.

Speaker 1 There you go. There we go.
All right, Derek. Well, thank you, man.
We appreciate it. Good luck rest of the season, man.

Speaker 5 No problem. Thanks, guys, for having me.
See you, man.

Speaker 6 That interview with Derek Watt was brought to you by the Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 6 Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 6 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 6 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 And now, Steve Wilkos. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Steve Wilkos, legend in the...
What? You don't think you're a legend?

Speaker 1 No, I don't. Why?

Speaker 3 A legend of what?

Speaker 1 Well, okay, let's do it. Marine, Chicago police officer, Jerry Springer's right-hand man, has his own show, legendary.

Speaker 3 I've been very fortunate with the things I've done.

Speaker 3 The Marines was basically because out of high school, I couldn't get into college.

Speaker 3 But I always did want to be a Marine. My dad was an Army paratrooper, and I always thought the military was kind of cool.
And my dad was a Chicago cop. I became a cop.
The TV thing was just a fluke.

Speaker 3 I went to work on the Springer Show to provide security for one day and

Speaker 3 didn't think it was going to turn into 25 years of TV.

Speaker 1 Did you have the shaved head back then, too? No,

Speaker 3 we were down in Florida. We were taping Springer Break shows down at Daytona Beach.
And one of the producers, and I kept my, I was going bald anyways.

Speaker 3 And one of the producers said, and I kept it very close, like Marine Corps style. And he goes, why don't you shave your head? He goes, really stand out.

Speaker 3 And I went to a barbershop, but they only took it down so much. And I went to my hotel room and I shaved the rest.
And I looked like I ran through a thornbush. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 It looked terrible.

Speaker 3 But I did it, and it did.

Speaker 3 My popularity on the show became.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you think that that had a good idea? It certainly

Speaker 1 certainly made me stand out more on the show because i've never recognized a recurring security guard on any other show any other talk show but i was like that's the guy with a bald head that's steve and then once i knew your name then i found out your last name right then you got your own show and i'm like oh the bald guy steve wilkos is getting his own show which i watched and i really enjoyed steve wilkos show i like how it showed a different side of you oh definitely um

Speaker 3 and the great thing of i like to say about my show is you know every most people in daytime tv are all chasing the same thing, right? Celebrities.

Speaker 3 And, you know, Jerry had his show and Maury does the DNA. And, you know,

Speaker 3 the thing about my show is we're dealing with nobody else is doing. We're, you know,

Speaker 3 stories of abuse, molestation. You know, we do the cheating and a little bit of DNA too, but a lot of our shows are like crimes that are being adjudicated right now in the legal system.

Speaker 3 And people are taking lie detective tests. And we're getting people that are going to court within the next few weeks, and they're coming out taking a lie detector test.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, why would you do that? But I'm glad they are.

Speaker 1 Right. Not a great legal strategy.

Speaker 3 I mean, I would never take that.

Speaker 1 How good are lie detector tests?

Speaker 3 I've always felt like people just you could you could hear one person say they're they're great and one person says they're absolutely true I do think they're very accurate um especially I think Dan Rybakoff is one of the top uh lie detector examiners in the country and and here's here's a perfect example.

Speaker 1 Because when we,

Speaker 3 Dan started working for us when we made the move to Stanford, Connecticut, and I'll never forget this story where it was a guy who was dating a girl, and the girlfriend said, I know you're sleeping with your girlfriend, like just friend.

Speaker 3 And, man, they had me convinced, like, they were, but they both failed to test.

Speaker 3 his supposed just friend and they both failed for sleeping with each other.

Speaker 3 But they were like, no, no, it's not right. And they were like, and so after the show was over, I said, I told the producer, bring each one of them in separately into my office.

Speaker 3 And I said, come on, Matt, tell me the truth. It's just you and me right now.
Did you sleep together? He goes, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So, like, you know, then I said, I'm not questioning anymore. Right.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. So you're like the human element of trying to believe someone, but then the lie detector does not.

Speaker 3 And truthfully, I would say probably probably 80% to 85% of the time,

Speaker 3 you don't need the lie detector test, right? Because somebody's telling their story, and you just, just like when you're a cop, you figure it out.

Speaker 3 And then, you know, if you make them tell the story a couple times and this things start changing, well, then it's not true.

Speaker 1 Right. We know right away.
I've always heard that a way to pass the lie detector test, because they ask you a baseline question or a series of baseline questions at the start, right?

Speaker 1 That they know you will answer truthfully. So if I say, like, what's your name? You would say Steve.
And it's like, okay, we've got that baseline for what the truth looks like.

Speaker 1 I've heard that if you squeeze your butt real tight when you answer those questions, it produces the same stimulus

Speaker 1 as well.

Speaker 3 Because first of all, we're measuring your, like, I'm not very scientific at all, but I have, I think, a brief thing where it's reading your brain

Speaker 3 waves and, you know, your physical response to it. And when you're making up a story, when you're recalling memories that are truthful, your body produces a certain stimuli, you know, from your brain.

Speaker 3 And when you have to create something, it's a totally different thing.

Speaker 1 So that's all.

Speaker 3 What about putting tax in your shoes? I would love if we could find out everybody that comes on the show, if we could search their history browser,

Speaker 1 that who, how many people beat a lot of text.

Speaker 3 I even asked a guy this last week on the show, I go, I bet you any money that if we checked your history browser,

Speaker 3 you looked on Google to see how you beat a lot of textiles.

Speaker 1 He goes, oh, oh yeah yeah absolutely absolutely so all right so similar to that you were a chicago police officer is it true that if you eat a lot of pennies you can pass a breathalyzer

Speaker 1 i've never heard that okay i've heard that keep pennies in your mouth i've also heard

Speaker 1 this is from oh so don't swallow them no don't swallow them get it get the the copper or whatever gets in your mouth and then it will it will like you know not

Speaker 3 but see in chicago In the 12 years I was a police officer, I wrote one DUI. Nobody wants to write DUIs.
I mean, we're busy.

Speaker 3 I worked in a very high-crime district, so I wanted to get guns and drugs and bad guys.

Speaker 3 Nobody wanted to write a DUI.

Speaker 1 So everyone had pennies in their mouth. If you were nice, I mean,

Speaker 1 well, this actually ties in with what I've heard how to pass a DUI, which is mustard packets.

Speaker 1 Ludacris taught me that. That is a big Chicago.

Speaker 1 That would surprise me knowing that you only wrote one DUI in Chicago.

Speaker 3 Because, like I said, it's tons of paperwork, and it takes you off the street for something that then you have to go to travel court. Never want to do it.
But the best way to beat a DUI, don't drink.

Speaker 3 Yeah, take an Uber.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to. Yeah, take an Uber.
I thought you were going to give me an actual trick here.

Speaker 1 Did you have any moment when you started getting the celebrity where maybe the police officers you did serve with were like, hey, what's this guy?

Speaker 1 He thinks he's bigger than us or he thinks he's better than us.

Speaker 3 No, you know, actually, even now, I mean, God, I've been off the police department for 18 years now,

Speaker 3 which is crazy because for me, that was going to be a large part of my life.

Speaker 3 But even I was just, just, I have a lake house in Wisconsin. I went back earlier in September, and I went down to a casino in

Speaker 3 Rivers Casino in Displains, Illinois. And they literally built it about three blocks from my old house when I lived in Illinois.
Thank God that I wasn't there when I was there.

Speaker 3 But I was coming home late, and I was trying to get home because it was like 2 o'clock in the morning. I'm doing like 100 miles an hour.

Speaker 3 And this state trooper pulls me over and he just walks up and he goes, Steve?

Speaker 1 I go, Yeah, he goes, Oh, man,

Speaker 3 I'm like, Oh my god, this thing is gonna be bad, you know.

Speaker 3 No, so you know, first of all, I'm very pro-police, and uh, I do a lot of things with the police, support the police. So, most cops, I think, are really cool with me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, when you started working on the Jerry Springer show, how many of those fights in like the first couple seasons were you actually scared for yourself or scared for scared that they might do some damage on stage?

Speaker 3 Never, or never was I scared

Speaker 3 because, you know, I had all my guys with me, you know, doing the show, but there was one time I was embarrassed.

Speaker 3 We had this, these two guys were fighting over this one dude's wife. One guy was sleeping with her, the other guy's married to her.

Speaker 3 Nobody, and they're not big guys, they're kind of smaller guys, but you know, and they're hillbillies from Kentucky, so you know, they just don't look intimidating.

Speaker 1 And nobody tells me that both of them are all-state high school wrestlers. Oh, they were.
No.

Speaker 3 Man, they were throwing us around like we were ragdolls, you know?

Speaker 1 And like, it was embarrassing. I landed on my ass, I got thrown off the stage, and

Speaker 3 I came back and I told the producer, I go, hey, man, you know, what's the deal? And I go, you know, that's information I would kind of need to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, wrestlers. If we have like a professional boxer on the show, give me a heads up.

Speaker 3 You know, so, yeah, that was that was the kind of thing. And the fights, people say, oh, those fights weren't real.

Speaker 3 I'm only going to speak about when I was on a show because I left a long time ago, 2007, to start my own show. But

Speaker 3 when I started, and I'm saying I started in 94, but the heyday of the fights was like 1997 to 2001, like that four-year period. And I'm telling you, I

Speaker 3 tore a groin. I had a concussion, got hit in the hair with a chair with a, I got hit in in the head with a chair.

Speaker 1 Did you bleed from that? The concussion? Yeah, when you got hit in the head?

Speaker 3 No, it just, boom, it caught me on the side of the head.

Speaker 1 For some reason, this might have been just like an implanted memory that didn't actually happen, but I thought there was an episode where you bled.

Speaker 3 No, I've never bled on the shows.

Speaker 1 You should have cut yourself like a wrestler.

Speaker 3 Well, I bled on my hands and stuff from all the girls digging her fingernails in me.

Speaker 3 But that was it. And then, like, oh, and I've had two major back operations, you know, from the Springer Show.

Speaker 3 So I always told people, if those fights were fake, then I'm really mad mad because then I got hurt for nothing. Right.
But

Speaker 3 when and then when the uncensored tape, Jerry Springer's uncensored tape two,

Speaker 3 the second one that came out, me and my wife, who was one of the executive producers on the Springer Show, we watched it at home and I was like, holy cow,

Speaker 1 this is really violent, man.

Speaker 1 And this is real violent.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, so during that time, I mean, the fights, listen, and I always told people all the time:

Speaker 3 if you're on a show and some dude's sleeping with your wife, it ain't going to take a lot to get you going. Right.
You know what I mean? Where you want to kill this guy.

Speaker 1 Now, was it a situation like sometimes we'll talk to firefighters and firefighters like, yeah, we want to work. We want to go fight fires.
Sitting around and having nothing to do is the worst.

Speaker 1 Would you have shows where you're like, I want there to be fights. I want to be able to get in the mix.
I don't want to sit there and just watch.

Speaker 3 We wanted fights because it made for a better show. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like when the studio went up for grabs.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 3 you can't,

Speaker 3 I can't describe to you vividly enough what that was like being in a Springer studio in Chicago.

Speaker 3 And, like I said, the four prime years of, you know, just when Jerry was the number one show in the world. I mean, it was like

Speaker 3 the biggest sporting event inside a little TV studio. I mean, adrenaline.
Like, the executive producer would try to yell at me. I'd be on stage.
I'm only 20 feet away. I couldn't hear him.

Speaker 3 That's right. Because that's how loud it was in there.
And, you know, we had audience members getting into it. And it was just, it was like the craziest show in the history of TV.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love this shit.
What about instances where there'd be women fighting, and one of the women would be wearing like a tube top? Because I felt like that happened a lot.

Speaker 1 There were tons of tube tops on the drill. I took a lot of clothes off on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so there's a woman who she's going after another lady that's sleeping with her husband or whatever, and the breast pops out, as they often do during fights. So hot.
Yeah, so hot, really hot.

Speaker 1 That gets you going if you're a guy. When we're like 13 years old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was actually

Speaker 1 what got on the spot.

Speaker 1 It was that and like Howard Stern censored on E. Yeah.
That was it. So when that's happening, and maybe there's just one breast that's popped out of the tube top, and it's your job to keep them apart.

Speaker 1 Do you have to think I need to avoid touching her breast when I'm holding her back?

Speaker 3 I did whatever I wanted to.

Speaker 1 There was no rules on Springer.

Speaker 3 Right. You know what I mean? That's bring up the fight.
Right. I mean, and you know what's funny? I don't even know why I was thinking about this today.

Speaker 3 Like, I did skits at the end of the show that, you know, like we would walk with certain guests. And we did things like, and I'm sure nowadays and,

Speaker 3 you know, where you can't do anything, you gotta be so politically correct that, you know, people would probably be appalled.

Speaker 1 Where I thought it was super hilarious when I was doing them, you know? Very different time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so.

Speaker 3 There was just no rules on Springer. Like, I always

Speaker 3 equivalent to being in high school with your buddies and pulling each other's pants down. I mean, that's what we did.
You went to work. There wasn't like, okay, we're going to do this.

Speaker 3 We just went in, buddy, to see if our pants and taped.

Speaker 1 And sounds like the best job of all time.

Speaker 3 It was the funnest time of my life.

Speaker 1 Did you ever do the thing where, like, if you're trying to break up a fight, but you also kind of want them to fight more, where you do the

Speaker 1 grab them, but you're kind of pushing them together?

Speaker 3 Yes, we did that, we did that.

Speaker 3 And then, like, if I didn't like you, I let you get your ass kicked for a while.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 You know, I was kind of slow on getting up on stage, you know, but if I, you know, because see, and I always say this, when

Speaker 3 guys don't want to look bad when they're in a fight, right? It's all about ego, man. You know, we're the tough guy.
I can't look bad.

Speaker 3 When women fight, they didn't give a damn about how they looked or what was going on. Like, they just were like.
you know, two starving dogs going at each other, you know?

Speaker 3 And guys, like, they're looking like, hey, Steve, when are you getting up here?

Speaker 1 You know, break us up.

Speaker 3 So the women didn't care.

Speaker 1 I read something somewhere where you were talking about how there was so much hair ripped out when the women fought that you would start to collect it.

Speaker 3 I did.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 again,

Speaker 3 nowadays, if you did that, you probably get in trouble, right?

Speaker 1 Well, it's creepy no matter what. But yeah, go ahead.
It's your hair history.

Speaker 3 So the women would just pull their hair out, and then like, you know, I'd pick it off the stage and throw in the bag. Well, I just, I started a little ball, and I'd just start wrapping up the hair.

Speaker 1 And then after a couple of years, the thing was like a bowling ball, you know, just tightly packed hair in it

Speaker 1 with every different color in it. Where'd you keep it? Backstage.

Speaker 1 It was just all.

Speaker 1 So if anybody asked you, hey, Steve, what's up with the branding?

Speaker 3 We were in NBC Tower, so we had all these shelves and stuff.

Speaker 3 And it just had all kinds of props

Speaker 3 for all different shows, not just for our show, because there was a lot of shows being taped. And I literally just had that bowling ball of hair.

Speaker 1 That's unbelievable. And I do wonder, like, what happened that ball? Is it still sitting there in a corner somewhere? Oh, my God.
I would

Speaker 1 imagine, yeah,

Speaker 1 the Viking funeral.

Speaker 3 We had these old security shirts. They were like bowling shirts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were awesome. You looked cool.
I loved them.

Speaker 3 And one time, this girl, she had so much makeup on, she got in a fight, and she ran smack dab into my face or my chest, and her perfectly makeup face face left her outline on my shirt.

Speaker 3 It looks so cool, right?

Speaker 3 Well, then we took the shirt off and we hung it in the offices at Springer Show. Like, that's a really cool thing.
And, like, when we moved, I should have took the shirt down.

Speaker 1 Who knows who has that hair? Actually, no, it's good that you left the bowling ball. The bowling ball of hair.

Speaker 3 When I was younger, I thought it was cool. Now it'd be super gross.

Speaker 1 I'm curious to know, though, about the bowling ball of hair. What color was it?

Speaker 1 Multi. Yeah, multi.
So when you combine them all together, it didn't appear. I would say mostly

Speaker 1 darker.

Speaker 3 It looked darker, but there was, you know,

Speaker 1 you had a lot of peroxide blondes on that show. I mean, I'll say this.

Speaker 3 During the years on Springer, man, we had a lot of good-looking women on that show. I mean, people say we're hillbillies or what, but they were good-looking.

Speaker 1 And you had all their hair.

Speaker 3 We had all their hair.

Speaker 1 Did you get that? I mean, you think about it.

Speaker 3 You go on a TV show, and you know, you're walking out with a bald spot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 There's no other TV show that that was going to happen.

Speaker 1 Did you ever consider nailing down all the furniture on stage?

Speaker 3 No, because I think that added to the excitement, the chairs flying and all that. We just never thought about it.
It was, like I said, I got hit with a chair and it was a heavy chair.

Speaker 3 And then after that, I think we went to lighter chairs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a smart move. What's your chair throwing record? I remember that one time you threw the chair.

Speaker 1 That was real.

Speaker 3 Well, you see, if you watch that show, you see my reaction, like, and everybody, like, the studio's going crazy. I throw the chair.
And if you watch the tape of that show, I'm stunned.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm like, holy cow.

Speaker 1 I'll show you PFT.

Speaker 1 That's like when Walter White threw the pizza on the roof and breaking bad. I wrote a blog about it back in 2013.
I think I was watching the show live.

Speaker 3 We cut out the wall, that part of the wall that hangs in our

Speaker 1 offices.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah, it's insane.
Yeah. It's insane.
So it's a one in a million stocks. Well, you see, they don't have, but you don't have afterwards.

Speaker 3 Like, I didn't even see the thing stuck.

Speaker 1 Then when I saw it stuck in the wall, I'm like, holy, holy moly. So what's your chair throwing record? Have you ever tried, like, see how many feet yards you could throw a chair?

Speaker 3 Well, the stage isn't really big.

Speaker 1 We should probably get you out in the field or something.

Speaker 3 But you know what's crazy? It's like monkey see monkey do, right?

Speaker 3 I was doing it, and then like all our guests do it now. Like instead of me throwing a chair, they throw the chair.

Speaker 3 And so I'm like, hey, man, that's great because I got a torn labor on my shoulder right now.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 We were talking with Jerry a little bit about this, but he wasn't the security guy. So I don't know the insight he had to the backstage operation that you guys used.

Speaker 1 Because I know at the Mori show, at least, there's a very strict regimen of keeping people in certain rooms at certain times so they don't run into each other before they're on camera.

Speaker 1 Did you ever have any fights that took place backstage

Speaker 1 that weren't on camera?

Speaker 3 Yeah, we had we that happened once in a while just because,

Speaker 3 you know, somebody who knew who's working a production assistant, they don't know the routine. They slip up.
Somebody got to, and all of a sudden, I was in my office.

Speaker 3 Steve, you know, big fight's breaking out. And we'd go in there.
So, yeah, that happened once in a while. But for the most part,

Speaker 3 it was like clockwork. We had the operation down pretty good.

Speaker 1 When somebody got hurt or injured during a fight on stage, did anybody ever press charges? Or was it more like

Speaker 1 what happens on the show stays on the show? No.

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 3 everybody that comes on, it's so, you're signing a million waivers and, you know, waiving your right to lawsuits and all that. So if anything, it would go into mediation.

Speaker 3 You couldn't sue.

Speaker 1 But there was one time when

Speaker 3 these two guys were fighting. And so before the show really took off, our stage was, you know, a wooden stage, probably about...
two feet higher than the concrete floor in NBC Studios.

Speaker 3 And it didn't go all the way to the wall so like you watch those old clips somebody's coming up and then they took two steps up onto the stage well one time these two guys were fighting and the one guy falls off the stage he's just laying there and me and Mike McDermott who runs he's the head of my security on my show now

Speaker 3 We run over there.

Speaker 1 We're like, get up, get up, get back in there, you know, like, keep fighting, you know. The guy goes, I can't.
You know, I broke my leg. I'm like, bullshit, your leg's not broke.
Get up there.

Speaker 1 He goes, no, really, my leg's broke.

Speaker 3 We peel his jeans up and his bone is sticking

Speaker 3 to his leg. And we're like, okay.

Speaker 1 He's telling the truth. That guy is, yeah,

Speaker 1 he doesn't need a lie detector test to figure out that he's got a broken leg. Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 What about the time you got hit in the face with a bowl? That's another favorite moment. I don't even know where that bowl came from.

Speaker 3 So either did I, right? So, like, you know, you do your show, and I'm really not looking at my surroundings. Like, I guess there was a wooden chest with a metal bowl just for decorations.

Speaker 3 Like, you know, who are we? Like, some

Speaker 1 Katie Carey show.

Speaker 1 Like, why do we have that?

Speaker 3 Like, the whole set looks industrial looking, and then we have a wooden chest with a little metal bowl.

Speaker 1 You know, so stupid.

Speaker 3 I didn't even know it was on the set. But, anyways, this woman was on the show because she believed that her daughter was poisoning her.
And when you see the daughter,

Speaker 3 she's like 20 years old. She's really good looking.
She seems so sweet. Well, she turns out she failed for pouring bleach in her mother's orange juice every day, a little bit, you know.

Speaker 1 So, you know, right? Can you gradually poison somebody with bleach, or is that just an all-or nothing?

Speaker 3 I have no idea, but that's what she's doing.

Speaker 1 If I were no kid, I would just use bleach.

Speaker 3 Okay, but you would think that you would taste it, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, bleach.

Speaker 3 But, anyways, the mummy gets so mad, she runs back and gets that bowl and tries to whip it at her daughter, but it like shot off this way, and it just, I really thought my eye came out of it.

Speaker 1 It was a perfect shot. Boom.

Speaker 3 I mean, direct hit. And I, you know, I went down.
I'm like, oh my God, is my eye still in my head? My wife came running up on stage. And, you know, everybody's like, we're going to lock her up.

Speaker 3 I go, no, because the show is fantastic.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 You know, because it's such a great story. I said, no, no.
They're like, we'll take you to the hospital. I go, no, I'm not bleeding.
I'm fine. You know, my eye is still in my head.

Speaker 3 So after the show, the lawyers and, you know, our production manager comes up, don't worry, we're going to take that out of the show. I go, Are you crazy?

Speaker 3 I go, You leave that in the show, yes, and it was our highest-rated show ever.

Speaker 1 Absolutely, Steve goes down, yes, yeah, you went down, yeah, came out of nowhere. Did anyone ever approach you about being an action star?

Speaker 3 No, uh, when Springer was pretty popular, I did wrestling, you know,

Speaker 3 like all not WWE type wrestling, but like I did a bunch of like circuits. It was like

Speaker 3 Michigan Championship Wrestling, Virginia Championship Wrestling. There was like a circuit.
I forgot what it's even called, but I had to get my wrestler's license and all that.

Speaker 3 But I've done some, like, you know, we did Austin Powers 2. I did some stupid Pauly Shore movie.

Speaker 3 You know, we did a lot of, we did some sitcoms and stuff. But, you know,

Speaker 3 I'd like to do a lot more, but I guess either my agents are really lazy or people don't want me.

Speaker 1 You could play like the stunt double for Tom Calicchio if he ever was in an action movie.

Speaker 1 You would do all this. You're like top chef guy.
Top chef. You also kind of look like Cal Ripken Jr.

Speaker 3 You ever get that? Oh, my God. Cal Ripken gets Steve Wilcox.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 3 I know that for a fact. You really?

Speaker 1 Because we've had him on this show, too.

Speaker 3 I get it every day of my life. In fact, my son, he's a baseball player.
He went to Kel Ripkin's baseball camp. And we get there.

Speaker 3 We drove down to Maryland to pick him up because he's down there for 10 days or whatever it was. And, you know, it's not a lot of people in the stadium.

Speaker 3 So we're walking on, and all of a sudden, there's a line of kids with baseball cards asking me to sign their cards.

Speaker 3 And I go, I'm not Kel Ripkin. And then the pitching coach, Jay Watasik, who used to play in the Major League, he looks at me and goes, hey, Kel's not here today.

Speaker 3 Do the kids a favor and just sign Kel Ripkin's.

Speaker 1 Did you sign him? I'm signing Kel Ripkins because they told me to sit. I've got two questions then because we weren't allowed to ask these to Cal when he came on the show.

Speaker 1 Did you ever do steroids, Cal?

Speaker 1 Did I do steroids? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, am I Kel Ripkin? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're Cal Ripkin.

Speaker 1 Ripkins.

Speaker 3 Oh, well, then I'm going to answer yes because everybody in Major League Baseball.

Speaker 1 There we go. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then the other one is, I mean, about the wide cast of Calvin. So I heard that story.
You know,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 3 I'm the biggest baseball fan in the world, okay?

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 and I, when we were in Chicago, all the baseball players would come to the show before their games and stuff, and everybody would tell that story, you know, about

Speaker 3 Kevin Coster, he, like, forgot his wall Cal, comes back home, Kevin Costner's, you know.

Speaker 1 Don't have any great Jerry Springer episode, by the way.

Speaker 3 Right, yes. And then like they start fighting, and Costner hits him in the head with a lamp, and then they have to cancel that game.
And

Speaker 3 I guess the game was canceled.

Speaker 1 Yes, it was. The lights.

Speaker 1 The lights. So what really happened, Cal?

Speaker 3 So, I mean, I've never met Cal. Like I said,

Speaker 3 I do guest

Speaker 3 host on the MLB network, and I see Billy. And how do you ask that question?

Speaker 1 Right, it's true, K.

Speaker 3 But like, everybody in baseball swears by that story.

Speaker 1 It's the usual.

Speaker 3 It's like the big urban legend.

Speaker 1 Well, and when we have people come in, they tell us, like, you can't ask these questions, but I don't think we ever would have asked that question. You can't ask that question.

Speaker 1 People like, hey, you get

Speaker 1 cucked by Kevin Costner.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it would have been your highest-rated show.

Speaker 1 Also, you could do a lot worse than Kevin Costner in terms of somebody cucking you. You almost said Kevin Kuckner.
Kevin Kuckner. It was like, for example, Pauly Shore.

Speaker 1 If you got cucked by Paul Shore, that's the issue.

Speaker 3 I mean, the story to me, like, yeah, it sounds great. It's a great story.
But, like,

Speaker 3 if you're Kel Ripken's wife, do you really just start, like, wouldn't you go somewhere else other than your home? Right.

Speaker 3 Like, you know, I'm sure, like, they, like, Kel Ripkin's not doing household chores. Right.
You know, she ain't either. Like, you know, they got a housekeeper, all this stuff, like, like, I do.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Come on, man. Like, nobody's having sex in my house unless it's me

Speaker 1 with my wife. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 There you go, Steve. Love Steve's wife.
Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. All right, I got one last question.

Speaker 1 Steve. Steve.

Speaker 3 Let's site Jerry. Jerry.
Mike. Steve.

Speaker 1 Just drawn up.

Speaker 1 All right, my last question. SeatGeek question.
White tight end. Put in promo code take here for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Speaker 1 You get $10 off if you put in promo code take, SeatGeek. Okay, so you have been doing this for a long time.

Speaker 1 The adrenaline must be awesome when you're breaking up fights, when you're talking to people who are about to fight. Do you ever find yourself, like, what does Steve Wilkos do for hobbies?

Speaker 1 And do you ever find yourself when you're sitting in the comfort of your own home, like, man, I really, maybe I'll go out to the bar tonight and just try to break up something?

Speaker 1 Like, just want to go get one in the wild.

Speaker 3 Well, you know, most of my, I grew up in Chicago and I hung out with tough guys, and I fought a lot when I was a kid. Then I went into the Marines, which is the whole macho, we're tough guy thing.

Speaker 3 Did a lot of fighting in there. Then I was a police officer and did a lot of fighting on the job and had to to break up a lot of fights on the springer.
I'm 55 years old, man.

Speaker 3 I don't want to tingle with anybody, you know?

Speaker 1 I like being comfortable. You don't get the itch every now and then? No, not at all.
Really?

Speaker 3 I mean, I wake up and I haven't done anything and I hurt. You know what I mean? Like, I've taken a beating over my life, so I have no...

Speaker 1 No, man, man. It's good having someone else do security for you.

Speaker 3 When you know you're getting old and your body's beat up, like, I play golf and I'm sore afterwards, okay?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 So that's the stage of life I'm in. So breaking up fights or getting a fight with anybody, no way.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you have any recommendations for somebody that might be looking to break up a fight?

Speaker 1 If you're on the sidewalk, you see two bull elephants going after it, what's the best technique to break that fight up?

Speaker 3 Always from behind.

Speaker 1 Always from behind.

Speaker 1 Always up in between.

Speaker 3 Always grab it from behind. And I always, well, see, that's the thing.
Oh, no, chokeholds. You can't do that anymore.

Speaker 1 Right, yeah.

Speaker 3 But that's the most effective thing in the world. Right.
Right? You put somebody chokeholds, they can't breathe.

Speaker 3 They're going to stop fighting really quick.

Speaker 1 Put them to sleep. Yes.
Just quick. All right.
Well,

Speaker 3 we were choking a guy out backstage on Springer one time.

Speaker 1 Backstage. And they hit him on camera.

Speaker 3 Was it just for fun?

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't for fun.

Speaker 3 He knocked out his sister-in-law. And we started choking him, and he goes,

Speaker 3 I can't breathe. I go, yeah, that's the whole point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what we're doing here, buddy.

Speaker 1 That's great. We should choke each other out recreationally.
Just put each other to sleep. Yeah, is there any danger in me just like choking out?

Speaker 3 Now that sounds really creepy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that does. Actually, that one-ups the hair thing.
The hair thing?

Speaker 1 What do we do? We just chug each other out. I'm bored.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm bored.
Cut off the circulation of the brain.

Speaker 1 All right, well, Steve, this has been awesome. Well, thank you.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 1 You're welcome back anytime. Yeah.
So, this has been a ton of fun. Appreciate it, man.

Speaker 1 That interview with Steve Wilkos is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Hiring can be a very slow process.
I'll tell you a story about one company.

Speaker 1 Cafe Altura's COO, Dylan Miskovitz, needed to hire a director of coffee for his organic coffee company, but he was having trouble finding qualified applicants, so he switched to ZipRecruiter.

Speaker 1 ZipRecruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, it finds them for you. It's got technology that identifies people with the right experience and it invites them to apply to your job.

Speaker 1 So you get qualified candidates quickly. Dylan posted his job on ZipRecruiter and he said he was impressed by how quickly he had great candidates apply.

Speaker 1 He also used ZipRecruiter's candidate rating feature to filter his applicants so he could focus on the most relevant ones. And that's how Dylan found his new director of coffee in just a few days.

Speaker 1 With results like that, it's no wonder four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the very first day.

Speaker 1 See why ZipRecruiter is effective for businesses of all sizes? Try ZipRecruiter for free at our web address, ziprecruiter.com/slash PMT. That's ziprecruiter.com slash PMT.

Speaker 1 Here's a fun true story about ZipRecruiter. Tell me.

Speaker 1 When I was working at my last desk job before I quit to try just writing full-time, I knew that I couldn't quit because it was a small business and they didn't have anybody to do my job.

Speaker 1 So what did I do? I went on ZipRecruiter and I found the guy that was going to take my job. I self-cucked myself on purpose.
Damn. Intentionally using ZipRecruiter.
Found a great candidate.

Speaker 1 He came in, crushed it. I quit.
Not a guilty conscience, walked out the door, felt great. And if I wanted to get a new job, I would have gone to ZipRecruiter and submitted my resume there.

Speaker 1 Boom, circle of life. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.
Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have our Fire Fest of the week.
Hank, go ahead.

Speaker 1 You struggle every week with this. What do you have this week, Hank? Try.
Try, try, try.

Speaker 1 You got this.

Speaker 1 I ordered

Speaker 1 Chinese food and they forgot the crab rangoons.

Speaker 1 No. Oh, that would have been good.

Speaker 1 I ordered a little, like a dartboard thing for my apartment, and I sent it somehow to not my last apartment, but the apartment I first moved into when I moved to New York. So two spaces ago.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Somehow, some way.

Speaker 1 And then my roommate was kind of awkward because my roommate, who I haven't talked to since I moved out, was like, hey, man, how are you? I was like, what the fuck? He's like, we should catch up.

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah. And he was like, by the way, you have something here.
I was like, oh. Shit.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I got that.
My old landlord

Speaker 1 texted me right before your rough and rowdy fight and was like,

Speaker 1 why did I just get 15 oversized foam cowboy hats? And I was like, whoops, let's throw them out.

Speaker 1 I also love that you're moving in with a girl for like the first time and the first thing you do is buy a dartboard. Yeah.
Like, let's make this a fucking

Speaker 1 incorrect. Shout out to my brother.
I think he got it to me for my like 20th birthday. I've had the board forever and I've just been taking it from apartment to apartment.

Speaker 1 I finally ordered the casing for it so I can actually use it. Okay, so it's going to work now? Yeah.
Cool. Once wool.
I have to go to Brooklyn. Can we come play?

Speaker 1 God knows when and then it'll be set up. Yes, when it's set up, you guys.
We should start a league. Yeah, yeah.
You should get one of those sick three-and-one tables, too.

Speaker 1 That's got the like people that used to have those pool tables. That was also like a ping-pong table and air hockey.

Speaker 1 It was great in theory, and then you finally get it, and it was like the size of just like it was like four by four. Yeah, and it wasn't standard size, it just sucked and took up space.

Speaker 1 We should do that in the office. Yeah, yeah, crazy.
We should. All right, PFT, what do you got? My Fire Fest is when I was up in the Great White North, Canadia.

Speaker 1 I changed a lot of my money over. I got Canadian dollars, and now I've got like 200 Canadian dollars just sitting in my apartment right now.
Loons? Loonies? They're not.

Speaker 1 Well, are they loonies if they're paper?

Speaker 1 I think they are. Yeah, I got like 200, maybe 300 loonies that I didn't change back and didn't lose enough of in the casino.

Speaker 1 So now I'm just sitting right, and I'll never get rid of them because I still have Hong Kong money. I probably have like $300 worth of Hong Kong money on my nightstand.

Speaker 1 But it's cool to pull out every now and again if I'm like, if I like in something about Mary, if I'm shopping somewhere, I'll accidentally pull out some Hong Kong money.

Speaker 1 I'll be like, oh, sorry, I was just in Hong Kong

Speaker 1 protesting for democracy.

Speaker 1 You should start an exchange service. Yeah, so it's very specific.
If you need to change out money if you're going to Canada or Hong Kong and you need less than $300, come see me. He's got you.

Speaker 1 He's got you hooked up. All right, my fire fest of the week.
I had a long week. I had some personal stuff, the real stuff, but this is obviously we're not talking about that.

Speaker 1 So I had the worst thing that happened to me this week. I went to J.
Crew to get a couple fall fits,

Speaker 1 as white guys do, and I got noticed while looking at sweaters, and the guy was like, big cat looking for sweaters.

Speaker 1 And it just wasn't. So you're so firefest as you're so popular that you're going to be able to do it.
No, you go shopping without further ado. I don't know what it is about being like.

Speaker 1 So famous that you're going to be. No, wait, no, Hank, that's not.
Hold on, no, Hank. Shop Hank? His firefest is that he's so famous.
Barry got

Speaker 1 for sweaters because he lost so much weight that his old sweaters don't fit. No, I don't.
That sucks, man. I didn't have old sweaters.
I was trying to get a couple sweaters to be like kind of a human.

Speaker 1 Tropical Bros doesn't do long sleeves. Why are you?

Speaker 1 Come on, relax. Those guys are cool.

Speaker 1 But yeah, no, there's something about him. I don't know what it is.
It's embarrassing to shop for clothes. To get caught shopping for clothes? Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, don't you have the internet?

Speaker 1 Whenever I see somebody in a store, I look at them. I'm like, look who has dial-up.
Yeah. Loser.
Like, oh, look at this guy. He's trying to fit into that.
No way is that going to work.

Speaker 1 That's, I don't know. Maybe I'm way up.
But you don't do that to other guys. So I.
Oh, no, I judge.

Speaker 1 Oh, of of course I do when I see other people shopping I'm like you think you're gonna look good in that honestly like I don't know how clothing stores stay in business because when was the last time you guys shopped in one

Speaker 1 besides that besides that

Speaker 1 Wednesday. I don't think I've shopped in a clothing store in

Speaker 1 Probably two years. Well, that's also not very that you have to remember that's not relatable as well because we get all of our clothes sent to us for free.

Speaker 1 I also just brand is I just wear sweatpants.

Speaker 1 I forgot. So this is the least relatable Fire Fest all around.
My bad.

Speaker 1 I just was embarrassed.

Speaker 1 I was like, why am I embarrassed? But I think that's just a general thing.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't because I got a dude. He fucking alphaed me out of there.
I ran with my tail between my legs. Didn't get anything.
Big cat shopping for sweaters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's, it just was like, oh, fuck, man. Because I don't know.
It's like, when you show up with something new, everyone's like, oh, is that new? It's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 That is why it, and that's a real thing, is like showing up to work, wearing something new. Then you have to have that conversation with somebody.

Speaker 1 i think that's the root of it because i you when you get something new you kind of want to work it in subtly so if someone sees you at the source of the new clothes they're like oh what you're getting new clothes here's what you do you get the sweater and then you put it on underneath like a coat yeah the first day yep and then you wear a vest the second day over it and then by the third day you just go full sweater nobody knows yes or you wear it once not to work and then when someone says that new you're like no i've worn it yeah i'm worn this button you've never seen me you didn't see this post on instagram uh all right we have a manalytics for kevin durant so kevin durant got into a argument online stop me if you heard this before okay uh about

Speaker 1 shot charts and what's a good shot is that really what that's pretty much what happened right yeah so he essentially landed on like i'm gonna take the shots i want to take and it's manalytics is that how he how he ended up i think he was saying a good shot is a good shot i agree with that i i agree with that too so i stand with kevin durant

Speaker 1 So he stuffed these nerds because it is, it's one of those weird things where we've gotten so smart as fans that sometimes you'll catch yourself, like, you see people arguing with the guys who actually go do it.

Speaker 1 And it's like, well, I could tell you exactly how to play basketball. And Kevin Durant's like, I've been playing basketball every day for my entire life.
I do agree with him, though, that

Speaker 1 shot charts, not for me.

Speaker 1 I need my charts. I think you'll probably agree.
I need my charts to be either in pie form or bar graph. Yes.
Because

Speaker 1 as we go, as a drug guy and as a food guy,

Speaker 1 we like all our charts to be related to either a unit of food

Speaker 1 or a level of Xanax. Yes.
Bars. Bars and pies.
Bars and pies. So I'm reading it now.

Speaker 1 So Kevin Hurrette's main point is that he sees, he says, I see dudes passing up open shots in the mid-range, like wide open, to force passes to the three-point line or force up bad finishes at the rim, which is true.

Speaker 1 People,

Speaker 1 Daryl Maury has ruined

Speaker 1 U.S.'s relationship with China and basketball. That sucks for Daryl Murray.
There's like the two things as general manager of the Houston Rockets. Those are the two things that you can't screw up.

Speaker 1 You can't screw up. But there are guys who just pass up mid-range shots because they're like, ooh,

Speaker 1 it doesn't fit the model. And Durant is right.

Speaker 1 Guess what's a good shot? An open shot. Yeah.
You know who I blame for this is announcers. I blame announcers because for the last 15 years, we've heard every single NCAA

Speaker 1 play-by-play guy or color guy saying, you never want to take a long two. Yeah.
And so it's always in my head. If you take a long two, you're an idiot.
So Bill Raftery, you screwed it for everyone.

Speaker 1 That's why I don't take him. But good job.
Credit to Kevin Durant, who hopefully will someday be on the podcast. Hank didn't get him on the podcast, but

Speaker 1 credit to him. That should have been your firefest, Hank.
Yeah, that should have. Well, we talked about it on Monday, but credit to Kevin Durant.

Speaker 1 He had this entire argument on his own Twitter account. That's progress.
Huge progress. No progress that we know of.
That we know of. We actually don't know what the replies were.
Good point.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up, before we get to FAQs,

Speaker 1 special edition of FAQs, we have Mike Greenberg's Dumb Rules, PFT. Yeah, I was just thinking of this earlier.

Speaker 1 So we were talking about giving and taking pinstripes because the Yankees are about to play tonight, and Big Cat's got a uniform all shredded up, ready to go.

Speaker 1 But I think that the pinstripe has become too prominent in baseball. Like nine teams wear pinstripes, and it sucks.

Speaker 1 It should either be if you beat the Yankees in the playoffs, you should get pinstripes the next season. You should take their pinstripes from them.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Or if just only the team that wins a World Series gets pinstripes for the entire next year. So if you have to beat the man to be the man and get the stripes.

Speaker 1 That's part of winning a championship is you get to wear the pinstripes.

Speaker 1 Haven't they been pinstripes forever though? Or was it just the Yankees until a certain year? I wouldn't know the actual like how uniforms everyone's uniforms.

Speaker 1 I think they were clean until they got taken over over by the mob, and then the mob was like, we need to make you guys look nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've got to put you in a nice suit, fill off the back of the truck. Yeah.
That kind of thing. But I mean, it's true.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of teams in the Cubs who wear their home uniforms have pinstripes. The Brewers, the Phillies have them.
The White Sox, right? Yep. There's, yeah, so there's a shitload of them.
The Mets?

Speaker 1 Yep. There should only be one team with pinstripes.
It's like Highlanders. Yeah, I think you said the Phillies? Yeah.
Yeah, there's a lot of pinstripes out there. Too many pinstripes.

Speaker 1 They don't mean anything. The Rockies? The Rockies have fucking pinstripes.
The Diamondbacks have a pinstripe. What the Christ?

Speaker 1 It means nothing anymore. There should be one team with pinstripes.
All right, let's finish up. We have FAQ's special Barstool Van Talk Edition two-year.

Speaker 1 So we thought we would do this. Last year we did a live show.
This year, if you don't know, we had an ESPN show. It got for one day.
It got canceled. But we thought we'd go down memory lane.

Speaker 1 We do it every year. This is going to be like

Speaker 1 three weeks old. It had a three-week life.

Speaker 1 It got announced. This is going to be like our Mercury Morris thing, though.
Like, every, you know, when the last team, undefeated team, loses, they pop champagne.

Speaker 1 Every year on October 17th, we're going to text each other and be like, remember that time we had a show for one day? I've just resolved to not think about it unless it's on October 17th.

Speaker 1 Well, that's what it is. It's the timeline.
Like, people, it's like you get...

Speaker 1 added on all these tweets of like oh this is amazing and it's like oh fuck yeah yeah time hop fucked us yeah i probably wouldn't have remembered this year if people didn't have time hop on their facebook correct um so yeah we're gonna get a little serious you guys have you guys do you guys have you guys want want to start with any thoughts you've had today in the two years that have passed?

Speaker 1 None. Feels like forever.

Speaker 1 I had a thought.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had a thought earlier today. It does feel like a long time.

Speaker 1 And I was thinking about how cool it was getting to say that we had a show on ESPN.

Speaker 1 That was actually the best part about having the show was the two-week build-up to the show where I got to tell everybody in my life, hey, I have a show on ESPN, and then just never mention it again to them.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 I remember, yeah, no, it's very true because it was like that period of just thinking, oh shit, we did this, this we're about to do this i remember the day after it aired on that wednesday i remember leaving my house and being like

Speaker 1 we got a fucking show this is cool yeah this is fucking cool so guys we always knew bvt was going to get kicked off the air somehow how did you guys imagine it getting canceled uh

Speaker 1 nudity good question um

Speaker 1 Nudity is a good one. Although they were pretty sure we tried.
We didn't tried nudity on the first episode. We did, yeah.
With Peter Norse cock. We did try that.

Speaker 1 My balls made an appearance through the sweatpants in the first episode. They had to be blurred out.
There was... You know what? So I was talking about this earlier today.

Speaker 1 I actually think that if we didn't do, if we didn't get canceled, I don't think that the Caps would have won the Stanley Cup that year. Oh.

Speaker 1 Because I definitely wouldn't have been able to eat shit on the ESPN airwaves. True.
And that's the whole reason they won. That is true.
That's a butterfly effect.

Speaker 1 I think we would have gotten canceled.

Speaker 1 I don't know, probably exactly how it went down. Just eventually, someone would have bitched and been like, These guys can't be on ESPN, and then boom.
Well, would probably,

Speaker 1 if we're being honest, it was a lot of work to do that one show. And if we had done that for two months after the fact, we would have gotten very, very lazy doing that show.
Right.

Speaker 1 And they probably just would have been like, okay, this show is not very good anymore. Right.
Canceled us. We would have been like, hey, can we get maybe a writer or like another camera person?

Speaker 1 Because there were some details in that show that were kind of set up to fail because they basically gave us a shoestring budget. Like, we...
Here's one of the questions.

Speaker 1 Sub PMT boys, how much money per episode did you make for BVT? Good question. Have any of you ever done the math on how much you would have made with BVT plus the 75K you make per episode?

Speaker 1 Oh, well, 75K. Because we got paid a total salary of $0 for the show.
But it was also like, so the budget was always set up to essentially never succeed.

Speaker 1 It was essentially like ESPN was like, okay, we'll give you this much money. It's not even close to what a real show needs.
but if you can make it work, then we'll see what we have.

Speaker 1 So, like, I would guess every show, no matter what time it's on ESPN, has like quadrupled the budget.

Speaker 1 We were at the point where we had, we couldn't even film, like, if we were like, hey, we have a good idea,

Speaker 1 we couldn't film it. We didn't even have like the sound people and stuff.
We had them for 24 hours for

Speaker 1 one day a week. That's it.
And we had to keep that scheduled so we couldn't just use those hours anywhere we wanted. So I think it was like Monday mornings.

Speaker 1 We could film for like six hours, and then like Monday evening through Tuesday afternoon, we could film. It was crazy.
It was crazy. We had no edit, like it was just crazy.
It was never gonna,

Speaker 1 it was gonna always be just a really, really hard thing to do. What's up, boys? Was there ever a night after BVT got canceled that you guys just got shit-faced? Yeah.
The first night.

Speaker 1 That first night. First night got hammered.
Really drunk, really high. Yeah.
That was when I got lost in the Call of Duty commercial. Yeah, you thought you were playing.

Speaker 1 I thought I was watching a movie about Call of Duty because the commercial was like two minutes long and I was so high I just couldn't figure out if I didn't know where I was.

Speaker 1 I was like, this commercial is still going on. Did I change a channel? And I got lost in it.

Speaker 1 I ended up getting hammered that night, traveling to this one restaurant in the city that I knew had the best fries. It was like way too far away, ending up there

Speaker 1 and then getting into an argument with somebody because he was Sean Avery's business partner and I called him a goon. And

Speaker 1 you were driving in the bike lane? I was not driving the bike lane.

Speaker 1 i was not driving in the bike lane i remember the next morning i felt like i felt like i was in like a tv show or something i like woke up and just like got like uh my roommate had whiskey and i like got a glass and it was just like fuck it and and pft

Speaker 1 pft said this before but it it deserves to be repeated like the worst part is not getting your tv show canceled it's having everyone text you yeah all the condolences yeah it's like

Speaker 1 fuck they need we should actually start like an app service for that where like just receives all your yeah bad news text it receives all your bad news text and just auto-replies. Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 So yeah, what it does, it's like it's AI technology.

Speaker 1 So it scans your texts coming in, and if it says, hey, I'm so sorry to hear about, and it identifies those words, you respond to the first one, and then all the other ones get that same response from you immediately.

Speaker 1 Right that time. And then we also sell all that text scanning technology to China.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 And we also could, if it's like a death, we can figure out the person's name and social security number and then have them vote for whatever politician we want in the next election.

Speaker 1 And steal their account, their bank account. Yeah.
And sign up, delete all this stuff. Sign up for like bookies and stuff.
And be like, well, we vouch for them. Yeah.
They won't be dead.

Speaker 1 They're taking our debt on. Have any of you ever met John Skipper in person? Yeah.
Yes. We did.
We sat in his beautiful office that was bigger than anyone's apartment in New York City.

Speaker 1 Bigger than heaven. It was.

Speaker 1 Wood. A lot of wood.
There were three offices. So you step out off the elevator.

Speaker 1 He has a private elevator, and then there's a pre-pre-office where there's a security guard who takes you into the pre-office where there's a secretary who then allows you into the office

Speaker 1 where there's yet another secretary

Speaker 1 rushedly putting away silver trays.

Speaker 1 And then she lets you into Skipper's office, and he's very, very excited. A lot of energy.
A lot of mirrors. Ready to see, yeah, ready to sit down and talk to you.
On the floor. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And he talked to us for like an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 So this was the day after, or two two days after

Speaker 1 the episode aired. And in retrospect, he was very clearly trying to offer us a job at ESPN.
Correct.

Speaker 1 He was trying to feel it out to see if he could buy us away from Barstool. Yeah.
It ended up being about an hour and a half conversation that culminated in him saying, it was a great show.

Speaker 1 I love you guys. I've got your back.
Yeah. All that stuff is water under the bridge.
You'll be fine moving forward. Shook our hands.
It was a great meeting. See you later.

Speaker 1 He's like, hey, you want a little eight ball for the road? No, thanks. We're good.

Speaker 1 I accepted that. Yeah, you did.
Yeah. No, but yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 He definitely said to us,

Speaker 1 I just want to know whose back I have. Like, I want to meet you guys so that when I go to bat for you, I can connect you with, you know, a face-to-name kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Apparently, our faces aren't very good. No.
Because when he had to go to bat for us, he just dropped the bat and ran away.

Speaker 1 Two more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Hank, you got this.

Speaker 1 Can we get out? Sorry, can we get a behind the music on Vanny? Where did he come from? Where's he at now, etc.?

Speaker 1 He's still alive, and I get just a shitload of tickets for him. Oh, I thought you sold it to Billy.
I couldn't find the title. I got to find it.
It's in,

Speaker 1 well, Big Cat found it on our Craigslist. We had to pay for it ourselves.
Yep. It's like $600.
Yep. Something like that.

Speaker 1 $900. $900.
All right, we'll do it. We'll do a, you know what? Let's just save it for the show.
The behind the music on Vanny.

Speaker 1 Save what for for the show? This is the show. No, no, no.
Save that for the behind the music on Vanny. Oh, we're going to make one.
Yeah. We get one.
Yeah. On VH1.

Speaker 1 And we'll drive it off a fucking cliff. And then I won't have to keep paying insurance.
We should get into a low-speed chase with it and have a bunch of cops follow you.

Speaker 1 How crazy would that be if we got into a televised police chase on the news and people tuned in and it was Vanny Woodhead just driving down

Speaker 1 95. Yeah, one dream I always had to do with one of my friends' cars when he was getting rid of it was to buy he want he was it was a total car, and we were going to buy it from him for like $300

Speaker 1 and just chainsaw off the roof. So it would just be

Speaker 1 like a Vanny convertible. It was totaled? No, like he was getting, he was like, I'm getting rid of it for like $500.

Speaker 1 We'll do that. We'll buy it.
How about? And he's like, no, no, no. How about someone who's going to go to the bottom? And then we're going to light it on fire and drive it off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how about someone who's listening who wants to work on cars, maybe just redo the whole thing for free? And we'll.

Speaker 1 You know what? If you are working Auto Body Shop and you want to redo Vanny, we will make the Behind the Vanny and we'll only show it to you. It'll be like the Wu-Tang album that Martin Skrelly has.

Speaker 1 Martin Shrelly's got it. So exhibit if you're listening, especially you.

Speaker 1 Last one. Did BBT have any more guests lined up after Dan Patrick? We had some theoretical guests.
So nobody that was booked yet. I think Rachel might have been a third guest.

Speaker 1 John Gruden was on there, was on the list because he was still working for Monday Night Football.

Speaker 1 But that's about it. Yeah, no, we didn't get that that far.
Death. We were going to have death in the van.

Speaker 1 That was also a part of the budget that kind of hurt the fact that they were like, you got a show. And you have to book it yourself.
Yeah. And that's what we did.
We booked it ourselves.

Speaker 1 In retrospect, accepting to do a television show for $0 was probably not our most astute business. You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to read the big short again. There you go.
This is a lesson. Live and learn on that one.
If you're ever asked to do a television show and not get paid for it, say,

Speaker 1 sure, and then get it canceled after one episode. Take the cocaine, not the money.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Something needless to say.

Speaker 1 I won't say it.

Speaker 1 But beep stone will let them wait.

Speaker 1 Still they learn in my life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's no better to be saved than sorry.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 eagle.

Speaker 1 things that you say

Speaker 1 little I fall. Just to play my worries away.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember. Are you shy and away?

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.