Bill Burr, NFL Refs Problem With Mike Pereira, Lebron Shames, And The Nats Are In The WS

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, we have Bill Burr in studio.
A great conversation with Bill. We talk sports with him.
What else did we talk about? The stadiums he's been to. We talked about stadiums.
Again, we talked about just a lot of stuff. We just wrapped with Bill.
Trigger warning. We didn't even talk about being triggered.
Yeah. yeah credit to us credit to us uh we have mike perera calling in to try to fix the nfl officiating problem we have lebron shames we have baseball football guys on chicks holy fuck show but before we get to when your home system or appliance down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
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Okay, let's go. Boys! Boy! that can't name all on the sun oh no we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app go useSTOOL.
You get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, October 16th, and the St.
Louis Cardinals are DEAD dead. Pretty psyched about that.
Now, full disclosure, it's the top of the eighth as we're taping this right now. They're dead.
The tying run is at the plate, but they're dead. It is a...
They're dead. it's a bird slaughter out there the nationals are a wagon especially I saw this fact earlier when they're wearing those blue the color rush unis the blue color rush well they're different color than normal so when they're wearing their color rush uniforms they're 20 and one white pants pretty color rush pretty incredible so pretty incredible stat and as the biggest Nats fan in the world, I'm very excited.
I've never been a part of a World Series run before. Never happened to me.
Even back in the day when I was growing up and my dad wasn't taking me to Orioles games. Never was really a part of some postseason magic like this.
Soak it in. It's an electric atmosphere there.
They've been a wagon. It's honestly, yeah, it's not even fun.
It's been so easy. That's what I said.
It's been pretty fun. I don't like the Cardinals, but it was too easy.
You guys let them off too easy. We did.
How about, do you still like Dexter Fowler? Yes. As a former Cub? Of course.
Okay. Why wouldn't I? I'm just curious.
If he goes to the enemy like that. Here's the fun thing that you can always say about Dexter Fowler or any tall, lanky leadoff hitter, center fielder, he is the straw that stirs the drink.
That makes you feel like a big baseball guy. There you go.
He's not so good this year. He's a table setter.
And anyone that wins a ring for your team. No, he hasn't been very good.
A lot of Dexters out there sucking in the eighth season. Also, remember he came back, too.
That was the big thing when he surprised everyone at spring trainings. Dexter's back.
Anyone that wins a ring for your team, you always have a little appreciation for them, no matter what. He's just an all-around likable guy.
I have a couple points I'd like to make about this Nats team here, if I may, off the jump. Number one, Bryce Harper should get a World Series ring if we win one.
Sin went to Bryce. He got this whole thing started.
He said, I'm here to bring a title back to D.C. Bryce Harper, we're doing it for you.
We're doing it for the entire NL East. For Bryce Harper.
For the Braves. This was a revenge game on the Cardinals for all the Braves fans out there.
I got your back. City of Atlanta.
The Mets. Just because KFC was out there when I was watching.
So that one was for KFC. Got it.
And then Marlins Man. Also.
And that's all I'm going to say about that. Whoa, whoa.
Boop, bo Boop, boop, boop. Marlins man has.
Boop, boop, boop. Listen.
That's backing it up. A tradition unlike, I know you haven't been to a World Series yet, but a tradition unlike any other is Marlins man going to baseball games with some hot women.
I should never have said the name. The second it came out of my mouth.
I forgot all about it. That was a bad decision.
I figured one of you guys would have that in a hot seat, cool throw. Okay, I'll explain what happened here because it was all fine.
Everything was above board. You stopped thinking.
I stopped thinking. On Sunday night, Marlon's man hits me up.
He's like, hey, are you going to the game tomorrow? I've got a ticket for you. And I'm like, no, Marlon's man.
I've got to get back to New York. I'm going to watch the game on the live stream.
It's a commitment that I've made for the company. My outfit.
I'm going to dress up like my big baseball boy pants, and I'm going to have a great time at the old game. And then we just walk.
I'm going to put some baseball cards in the spokes of my huffy, and I'm going to bike to the office, and I'm going to watch the game with my mitt. I'm going to sleep with my glove under the bed so that it gets that nice crease in it and spit on it and oil it up real good.
So I told him I couldn't go to the game on Monday. And on Thursday night, Friday night, excuse me, I bought my mom birthday tickets to go see the Nats play.
She's never been to a playoff baseball game. Right.
And I was going to do a real nice thing for her, bought her two seats for her to take a friend. And she was so happy.
She was like PFT. I'm so proud as PFT mom at her.
This is the nicest thing that's ever happened. And I'm going to get to see my team win.
And so I tell Marlins man I can't do it. But then I just throw in.
I was like, but I did buy my mom tickets, so hopefully you'll bring some good luck. That's where you stop thinking.
And then Marlins man said, where is she sitting? And I was like, oh, she's going to be out in the outfield. She's not going to be close to you.
And then he goes, there's no way that I'm allowing your mom to sit in the outfield. I've got two seats for her, second row behind the dugout on the first baseline, and then he just sends me the tickets.
He just sends me screenshots of the tickets, and I give them to my mom. Should have sold them.
I send them to my mom, and then Marlon's man says, and I'm going to be sure to go by and say hello to her. And then during the game, I was like, oh, maybe he forgot.
No big deal. Like the fifth inning rolls around.
I start getting a flurry of tweets from Marlon's man. It's probably seven pictures of him hugging my mom in different ways.
And then one of them, he just says, Shooter, shoot, with his arms around my mom. That was brilliant.
That was a brilliant caption. And my mom called me this morning.
She was like, your friend Marlon, man, was very nice. Oh, my God.
And he was such a nice guy. And I had such a great time that she started to cry because she was so happy that she got to go see the Nationals win a playoff game.
She was crying. That's how proud of her big baseball boy son she was.
Okay. That she got to go see a game.
And so that's the end of the story. What's the worst? I made my mom really happy.
What's the worst my mom really happy and I'm very happy that she's my mom. What's the worst part of this? Marlins man probably exchanged numbers potentially with your mom.
Yes, the fact that... Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I'm going to throw them out there. Marlins man exchanged numbers with your mom.
Your stepdad is now Marlins man. Didn't happen.
Your stepdad is now Marlon's man. Didn't happen.
Marlon's man has multiple pictures of your mom in his phone. And we've seen the pictures in Marlon's man's phone.
And he's going around showing everyone. You're the worst son of all time.
No. No, I'm not.
I'm not the worst son of all'm not I'm not the worst son of all time

you pimped your mom out to Marlins

let me ask you this big cat

how many games has your son sent you to

zero

and if he sent me to a game with Marlins man

I'd say no thank you

you know what it was a great experience for her

and I'm glad that she got to have that

and I'm a great son

he's so proud of me

he's got to be so pissed that he's not on screen right now

he's just off screen

so yeah congratulations to the Nationals

I don't know. but she got to have that, and I'm a great son.
He's so proud of me. He's got to be so pissed that he's not on screen right now.

He's just off screen.

So, yeah, congratulations to the Nationals.

The new best fans in baseball are the D.C. fans.

Yes.

Very classy all the way through.

I appreciated everything they did tonight. One thing you'll notice about the Nats fans, they don't leave.

They don't leave until the end of the game

or until the Metro stops running at 11 p.m.

Correct.

All right, so let's talk some. We're going to do more baseball and hot seat, cool throne.
Let's do. Should we do Monday Night Football or should we do LeBron Shames? Let's do LeBron Shames.
Okay. Let's get started with that.
So LeBron Shames, LeBron James released a statement about China on Monday night. And boy, did he step in one.
It was a press conference. It was basically...
It was a media or whatever. Actually, it was such a bad statement that if he had come back and 10 minutes later been like, not, or like, opposite day, he would have been good.
He would have been good if he was like, everything I said, that was a joke. I meant the opposite of that.
I think that you're seeing this a lot. Anybody that speaks about the controversy in China affiliated with the NBA has to correct themselves immediately.
It's like Urban Meyer's series of apologies that he has to make to issue an apology for the first apology for the first statement that he makes. LeBron absolutely put his foot in his mouth big time on this one And the weird thing is everybody is united against LeBron on this

Everyone agrees that he messed up

To the point that we can't just handle agreeing with each other on this

We have to agree that we don't like what he said for different reasons

Right

On it almost

So very clearly LeBron should not have said that Daryl Morey is uneducated

And that what he's saying about China is a hoax, essentially. Well, that was the killer for LeBron when he started his press conference with, when you're misinformed or you're not educated about something, and I'm just talking about the tweet itself, you never know the ramifications that can happen.
Boy, was that some foreshadowing for LeBron. He was talking about himself.
Yes. That was past LeBron responding to an Instagram post to future LeBron.
When you don't know what you're talking about and you talk about it, you can get in trouble. So, yeah, the whole thing was weird, especially considering the fact that, like, Daryl Morey, at the base of it, he still hasn't, like, he just tweeted pro-democracy.
Yes. And so it's very bizarre to be like, he's not educated.
He doesn't know what he's talking about. Yeah.
He literally just said, democracy, good, authoritarian, bad. And then he had some things out there about player safety.
The worst part was, actually, the player safety thing, I kind of alluded to that a couple weeks ago. If I was an NBA player and I was in China last week, I probably wouldn't have said anything bad about China in a press conference because of my own safety which is telling on yourself by the way yeah because you're basically saying china is like right so the the government in china will lock anyone up for any reason absolutely it's not safe to say anything bad about them while in china huh should we be doing business with that right the fact that let's do a quick let's do a quick thought experiment.
Let's imagine that Canada had 3 million Muslims in re-education camps right now. Right.
And then we went up there to play in a series like a traveling series of NBA games. Do you think that anyone would have a problem with saying like, Canada you shouldn't be doing this probably not

probably not probably not but the fact that it's China Raptors money there's so much money coming in from Chuck here's an idea LeBron this will tie in with your business interest nicely have President Xi on the shop oh he's definitely gonna do a barber shop that like tries to he'll probably get uh Enos Cantor on because Enos Cantor dunked all over LeBron James the only time he'll ever dunk on him and the whole thing just canters he's he's too real to go on anything with lebron no he is right through his he sees right through yeah so lebron basically and then he did the i think he even he's actually doing it he keeps on stepping in it because then he tweeted and saying he was misquoted which was the most predictable thing ever and then today he said uh that's the last time i talk about it because i'm not a politician. And it's like, but wait, we...
It's a human thing. Yeah.
It is a human thing. So either way...
You think China, though, would probably get along well with LeBron James just for the intellectual property theft that he's done in his life. Yes.
They'd probably take their hats off. Hey, LeBron, if you go to China, you can trademark Taco Tuesday.
You can do whatever you want. That's for sure going to happen.
Or the idea of getting your hair cut. The fact that it happened on Taco Tuesday.
The saddest Taco Tuesday. You think he was like, it's Taco Tuesday.
He didn't do Taco Tuesday, did he? No, at home he did. Did he put it on IG? Listen, if you're in the James house on a Tuesday, you're having tacos.
Did you guys see what he put on IG recently? His most recent Instagram story? No. It's a picture of him and Steph Curry, and they're on the court from their game laughing at each other.
It's a picture. And the caption is, if only they knew what we were talking about.
And then the clown emojis underneath it. So just a completely like.
You had to be there. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And here's the thing. Like, I understand.
We're all hypocrites at the end of the day about everything. Oh, big time.

So it's not. Yeah.
Our thoughts are like everyone out there that is a hypocrite. It's like the NFL parody clock of every team that beats every team.
You can dunk on anybody in the world for being a hypocrite because we all know one who's not. We all are.
But guess what? The person who isn't is a fucking loser. Yes.
Correct. Correct.
If you don't have a vice. Yeah.
So the fact that LeBron James and a lot of the NBA players didn't speak out while they were in China or all this stuff, while they're very vocal on social issues when they're stateside, okay, you're a hypocrite because you're making money off China. Yes, you're a hypocrite.
Correct. But the fact that he said that Daryl Morey was wrong for being pro-democracy in this situation, that is not good.
That's not good at all. So let's go to a little lighter side here with LeBron Shames.
I was thinking about what it must have been like to be in the LeBron camp. Let's call it the LeBron camp last night.
His guys, his crew, whatever you want to call it. We don't say the P word.
Shout out Phil Jackson. Do you think that they knew right away? Were they like, hey man, we got a problem.
And on top of that, do you think, it dawned on me last night, do you think they all call him King? I would imagine they do. I would like, hey King.
He probably makes some of his, yeah. We got an issue, King.
The haters are out. They're wrong, but they're out.
I think it's a situation where he's like, it's one of those things where it never reaches him. No, no, no, no.
Who do you think is the guy that goes to him and is like, yo, LeBron, this is bad. Someone says to him, hey, King, Mr.
King, I don't think what you said was bad, but a lot of haters do. They just hate you because you're the king.
And that's how they break it to him. It's a good point.
If you just refer to anybody as just a hater, then you don't have to listen to any of the substance of their argument. The haters don't like it.
They're just haters. They just hate everything that they do.
They're haters. But no, he definitely, someone alerted him because he responded so quickly on Twitter.
I thought it would take at least a day for him to say he was misquoted. He was out within an hour saying that's not what I meant.
And it's tough when it's a video. That's actually the lesson there, which is a good segue for for the NFL ref problem.
But just don't do video of it real quick. I get it transcribed.
Do a sit down. He's going to do such an awesome sit down with like Rachel or like Jeremy Schaap.
It's going to be the softest lighting of all time. I've read about all of it.
Yeah, he's educated himself. Maybe pull a Jeff Darlington and sit way too close in a big room.
Let's hope. What if he goes to a school and teaches like he goes through it with them? It's going to be great.
Whatever happens here. He really plays it up.
He did bring that up. He talked about the school that he was invested in.
He's like, that's where my focus is, not on geopolitical issues. He's already deflecting to that a little bit.
I think he realizes, he has to realize that he's fucked up a little bit. I also like how Hank is now getting into, he's understanding geopolitics a little bit now that Enos Cantor is a Celtic.
And LeBron is messed up. Yeah, so the key to getting involved in World Affairs is to have a current Boston athlete weigh in.
So, okay, spinzo. It's not just that, though.
I said this last week. Like, I don't know what it says about me that I really didn't know about any of this China stuff until the NBA was involved.
But I have researched and looked into it much more ever last week than I ever have. You mean about the nine-dash line? China bad.
I think that's a good thing. Yeah.
Because now I'm like, yo, that's fucked up. Right.
It's bad. And so that's the spin zone.
LeBron has just taught the world about he's shown a light. He did this on purpose.
This was all a lesson. It's like when we had the flat earth bullshit that was going around and everyone was like, well, we're just asking questions.
LeBron was just doing a thought experiment to let shine light on people not knowing how bad China is. And then in two days, he can do the Marshall Henderson and say it was a social experiment.
You all fell for it. Look at how many people have Wikipediaed China.
LeBron James might be the person that brings down the Chinese regime

because everyone gets so educated. Now they're on the hot

seat. That would be the most respectable thing he could do, but

he's not going to do it because at the end of the day, he knows

he can't talk out.

He can't try and spin China negatively

at all. No, dude.
So many

people are going to watch Space Jam. By the way,

you brought up the Flat Earthers. I cannot

wait for Kyrie Irving to weigh in

on this. He's got to get in.
Cannot wait.

He's doing some reading. We did this

a couple years ago. It was a segment on the show called Open Letters, where we just, like, if you hit somebody with an open letter, that's as devastating as it gets.
I have an open letter to LeBron James as a LeBron stand. Okay.
Do you mind? Yeah, go ahead. Please wait until the end for your applause.
As a bronze sexual and defender of yours to the grave, or the end

of whatever podcast segment I'm farting my way through,

it was extremely disappointing to

see you become a China stan.

Your failure to stand up against a regime that holds

millions of ethnic minorities in prisons

while suppressing freedom of speech

was disheartening and cowardly.

All in the name of your own

personal convenience, for shame,

sent from my iPhone.

Nice.

That was a Banksy.

Oh, you want to do a verbal Banksy?

That was a verbal Banksy.

The NBA logo?

No, it's verbal Banksy.

All right, let's start with a basketball.

I like the NBA logo.

Yeah, well, let's start with a basketball.

But it's Chinese flag colors.

How about this?

How about it's a basketball, so it's orange and black, but it's the shape of the Apple logo from the company. Okay.
And there's a slice missing out of it. And then Mickey Mouse is biting the slice out, and then he's crapping out dollars onto the floor.
Okay. I like that.
And Mickey Mouse is wearing the LeBron Equality Home 16s, the shoe that he put out. So he's wearing those.
And on top of all of that, let's say there is... So it's a basketball that Apple slices out.
And then it's Mickey Mouse wearing mouse they should have the workers that assemble the apple

products jumping off the top of the apple into this like the void yeah into the void yeah into the void and then uh attached to the apple slice is a little girl it's actually a balloon and this is all of our imagination and letting it so it's inside of a balloon okay and she is wearing a Bitcoin shirt

I like that, that's a nice little issue

and then it says and she is wearing a Bitcoin shirt.

I like that.

That's a nice little issue.

Her shirt says,

Do you crypto, bro?

Then me, you,

Dennis Rodman, and Kim Jong-un

are sitting on a cloud

in the distance

lighting cigars.

How much money we're making

off talking about this. That's a lot for Triggs to draw.
Holy shit. Shout out Triggs, the man behind the man.
Yep. Okay, let's do some ref talk.
Let's do some ref talk. Let's talk about Monday Night Football.
Let's get into it. The Packers got gifted a win.
The Lions got screwed. The refs are a problem in the NFL.

People are mad.

The street, the block was hot.

I feel bad for Lions fans because they do seem like they are disproportionately on the

shit end of the stick here.

Yes.

And if you don't stand up for the Lions fans, eventually it's going to come for you.

Yes.

They are the first wave.

They know the NFL tests out all their fucked up theories and experimental ways to cheat and get away with it on the lions yes and then they see really how much of a reaction is this so my idea is they should just get rid of replay i was gonna say just get rid of the lions well that too but get rid of replay because the problem is i think we just need to go back in time to when we didn't have replays in football and ignorance is bliss. So they never show us the replays of the penalties or non-calls and we just sit there like idiots just eating the soup and lapping up whatever they're serving us.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, there's no problem. This is an awesome call.
Seriously though, because Trey Flowers, those calls were bullshit. Yep.
But they were extra bullshit when we saw them on replay and Booger was losing his mind. You just eliminate the replay and Booger losing his mind, I feel like people would be 50% less angry.
I do like Booger losing his mind, though. That was kind of cool.
If Booger had been in the Booger Mobile while that was going on, he would have tried to run over the refs. Yes.
He would have ghost-renned the whip like Marshawn Lynch. Was that the time that he drove out on the field? Yeah.
It would have been an ugly sight. But I agree with you.
I think that cameras, especially HD cameras, are making a big problem for viewers because it's great to see that we just either got screwed or won our bets in slow-mo. If they made the cameras worse, then just get rid of HD on replay.
I don't need to see every blade of grass. Right.
I agree with that. So I also threw out a tweet on Monday night.
The block was way too hot for this tweet because it's a joke we've made a million times that if they ever do get sky judge, if they do ever perfect refereeing in the NFLfl like 90 of our conversations day-to-day conversations will be gone because if you're a sports fan what are the things that you can blame your team on sucking not that they actually suck you can say the kicker sucks the coach sucks injuries or refs are out to get us that's how you survive as a fan without having to admit hey maybe my guys aren't my guys yep so if you eliminate refs now everyone's gonna have to come to come to the realization that hey maybe my guys aren't my guys maybe my team actually sucks yeah the other part that will be eliminated if we get if we perfect refereeing and i love this because if you are online at all whether you're on facebook twitter wherever you are the memes and the pictures the arguments that come out of a bad ref night are so great the refs doing the lambo leap the matt lafleur giving the ref the the game ball uh the one where the refs are all lined up and their jerseys read out, bruh.

Yeah.

The blind mice memes.

These are the things I live for.

And then on top of all that, so we have the first wave where everyone just basically slaps a Photoshop of a ref into a situation and says, the ref screwed us. Then we have basically screen grab offs where people are trying to point out plays that were miscalled, but they don't show actual replays.
They just are like, hey, look at this. And it's just a random screen grab of a massive human beings in the goal line.
They're like, they called this a touchdown. That was huge in the Ohio State-Michigan game on that fourth down.
There were different angles on message boards. The parallax angle was coming into play on it.
They had one play where the Packers had 13 players on the field. That one was going everywhere.
They had the Lazard touchdown where he was a yard short and his knee was down. They're like, what about this? What about this? They're all fair.
I agree, but this is what fuels Twitter. This is the concrete basis of Twitter is going back and forth with rival fans about refs sucking and using just random screen grabs to prove your point even though no one's changing their opinion.
It's that and also the first wave that you mentioned where it's like the ones that are kind of making fun of the people that ended up on the short stick of it right and that is part of the joy of twitter it's like when you when you did not lose something and there's somebody else that's losing you get to pile on that thing right and you feel like a winner right by exchange so yeah even though i'm a green bay packers owner and not a fan of the team i still felt like it was cool to retweet that thing about the lambo leap with the ref in in it. Right.
I was not losing at that point. So there's a list of potential ref problems, right? I went through like a flow chart in my brain to figure out what the issue could be.
Number one, and these are really the only options that you have. Either if you think the refs suck and they're screwing your team over, either one, they're bad people and they purposely mess up to piss you off.
That's number one. It's probably not that.
Number two is the NFL tells them which team should win or cover which spreads. Right.
Which probably not, but maybe sometimes it's happened. Yep.
And, well, gambling is just going to make this problem worse, by the way. Oh, yeah.
When the outcome of the game is affected, but not the gambling math is yet, the small calls that get messed up, that's going to be something that adds on to all this controversy. Number three, they don't have enough training.
That could be a thing, right? Yeah, pay them more. Yep.
Number four is it's a hard job, and all the rule changes are going to continue to make it harder. Not easier to call games correctly.
It's going to get worse and worse. And also, all the good refs are leaving for tv gigs okay and number five given to us by your internet dad my internet uncle who was way too high on monday night i don't know he doesn't smoke weed but he was way too high when he said on these calls against detroit let's not forget the league office didn't even oh no wait this isn't the tweet it was the tweet where he basically was was like, you have to wonder if this is payback for Patricia wearing the Goodell clown shirt.
Yes. I mean, you do.
Mike Florio is the king. Sneaky.
Under the radar. Woke king of the world.
And I mean woke by not woke politically. I'm talking about woke like everything is a conspiracy.
Oh, he's definitely not woke politically. Out to get everyone.
Very racist. You don't think Goodell, like...
That was a joke, Mike. You don't think Goodell still has a will towards him for that? You think Goodell is an uncorrupt...
But I don't think he sends, like, hey, make sure you fuck the lions over tonight. What? Okay.
Do you think that's real? Yes. Oh, yeah.
I think he makes a good point. I don't know about all that.
I mean, did you see those screenshots? Of what? Of everything. All the screenshots.
All the screenshots. The refs doing the Lambo Leap.
By the way, did Francesca see that? Because he's definitely going to be upset. He will absolutely.
When he sees that, he's like, did you see the refs? They did a Lambo Leap. Is that weird, though, how the NFL, like, when it comes to the best officials, they're kind of like Congress people that leave and get better high-paying jobs around what they used to do? I think that's a little— Like your Barreras, your Blandinos.
Yeah. All those guys, they go into TV.
Mike Carey. Just bring Mike Carey back.
Have him be the sky judge for every single game. Just pay the refs a shitload of money and have them have it be their full-time job and then also have their phone numbers on the back of their jerseys so we can all text them when they fuck up.
The Nats just won, by the way. How about that? There we go.
Well, there already won. Yeah, yeah, the Cardinals are dead.
All right, let's do some hot seat. Cool, throw them.
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Hot seat, cool thrown. Hank.
My hot seat is Josh Riddick. Okay.
The Astros right fielder was talking about how crazy the Yankees fans are in right field, and he said, there's no action taken. You look at the security guards, they're just watching, not saying a thing to anybody.
Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they were the ones helping to say that,

which I think if you're going into a three-game series at that stadium,

kind of put yourself in the hot seat a little bit.

It doesn't make it easier to be in the outfield for those three games if you call out the people that you're going to be standing behind.

I love the shots of Yankee fans in the playoffs.

It is so awesome.

The guys, they kept on showing the same shot,

the guys sitting down the line who are just banging on the pads. They're just the playoffs.
It is so awesome. The guys, they kept on showing the same shot.
The guys sitting down the line who are just banging on the pads. They're just the best.
They really are. 45,000 fantasy fuckboys.
Right. They will.
Right. Pretty much.
They're fantasy fuckboys that will just scream at you, yell at you. And yeah, if they had the chance, they'd probably try to fight you.
I'm Jeffrey Mair, and this week I'm starting fan interference. I fucking love it, though, because that's what what like the bronx should be like that it should be a place where you you have to fear for your life so you're not taking away their pinstripes no i'm giving the pinstripes you know what the fans are the only ones who've shown up to this series yeah that was a dig at the yankees i've had to stall my pinstripe uh machine because they stink down to one how do you feel hank how Or how should we feel as Boston sports fans? I'm rooting for the,

I'm rooting for whoever makes it easier for the Nationals. Thank you, Hank.
Thank you. Do you have money on them too? That would probably be the Yankees, to be honest.
I would rather see the Yankees. I would rather.
Astros are better. It's annoying watching all these Yankees fans in the office.
It's great watching them lose. But I would root.
I'm a rooter of chaos, and so if it can get the Yankees to the World Series and then lose, that would be the best situation.

Okay.

Cool throne.

My cool throne is Luke Wilson, friend of the program.

Will Disley is out for the year.

It's good for our friend Luke Wilson.

Dude, we don't celebrate injuries.

I think Will Disley might also be a listener.

Damn.

Well, I mean, that has nothing to do with it.

I'm sorry.

Will, if you're listening, I'm sorry.

I hope you get better.

I hope you get better. I hope you have a full recovery and come back better than ever.
But Luke Wilson's time to shine. Yeah, and it was great.
They scored a touchdown. He was on a hot mic to being like, Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah, dude! Let's fucking go! You know what? It was a great clip.
This year we've been having a little tight end off in terms of NFL tight ends using part of my take content. So Luke wore the shirt on Hard Knocks.
Yep. George Kittle is talking Canadian all over the sidelines, getting picked up by NFL films.
Dabbing. Dabbing.
Yeah, that's your thing. Yeah.
It's everyone's. It's America's thing.
It's America's. It's the people's.
The people own the dab. So I am excited for Will.
I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm excited for Luke.
I'm not excited for you, Will. Excited for your recovery, Will.
Yeah. I didn't know he was a listener, so now I'm a huge Will Disley fan.
He's going to get back better than ever. Okay.
Did you just assume he was a listener? No, I think he follows me. Oh, okay.
Oh, wow. If you're a white NFL tight end, then reassume that you're a listener.
Cameron Brate. Yeah.
Yeah. That's true.
Cameron Brate. You just named a guy.
Another guy that's a listener. All right.
Go ahead. My hot seat is philosophy.
Okay. Putting philosophy on the hot seat big time this week because Michael Bennett of the Patriots, he got suspended for a game.
By old Bert. By old Bert Bleelma for getting into an altercation with him at practice on Friday.
And Bennett's explanation of it was he got into a philosophical disagreement. So you can leave that up to whatever interpretation that you would like.
But Jerry Jones also said today that if he differed entirely in philosophy with Jason Garrett, then Jason wouldn't be the head coach, implying that he did differ somewhat in philosophy. Right.
A lot of philosophy being talked this week. But the philosophy that they don't differ in is that Jason Garrett is Jerry Jones' lapdog and will do whatever he says.
That's true. That philosophy has always been the basis of their relationship.
That's day one stuff you get, like your freshman year and your intro to philosophy program.

That and the aero paradox that we always talk about.

It's like having a friend and maybe you get a little older

and you don't have the same interest,

but you can always fall back on something that you loved

when you were hardcore friends.

They can always fall back on the fact that Jason Garrett will say,

yes, Jerry, yes, sir, and then sit on his lap and clap like a maniac yeah also i don't think that brett knows what philosophy is no nope am i wearing am i really wearing this shirt nope nope absolutely not he's a realist yeah uh my cool throne is hank because hank did his taxes congratulations thank you thank you way to go man today happy for you you know people always do the like after taxes thing it's like yeah it's not that much after taxes no one could ever do that to hank's paycheck because he never did taxes to begin with until now so congratulations on getting on the right side of the law tip of the cap to you yp it was a well-fought series by my team yp just came in the room yeah um so yeah putting that. Also, cool throne.
Feels great. You know, it's like, I feel just like it's great walking around as a citizen again.
You know? I got a different pep in my step. Were you afraid, like every time you saw a police officer, that they'd ask for your ID at some point and get thrown in jail like Wesley Snipes? No, because I'm, and I found, I mean, I did, like I get the most taken out of my paycheck, so I was pretty sure that if I just did my tax return, I probably got money back.
So that's why I was never that worried about not doing them because it was like, I'm, I'm just giving away. Did you get money back? I got a little money back.
Oh, see you, you have been like missing out on getting money back, but I agree with you. That's what I'm saying.
I wasn't like, I wasn't like, I wasn't like dodging my taxes. I just was.
There's always a formula. Like how many forms do I have to fill out, how much money does it equal.
And if it's like 15 forms for $200, not worth it. No, thank you.
Also, a little pro tip, everyone out there always file for extensions so that you can fill out your taxes in October because then you get your paycheck towards the end of football season when you probably owe your bookies some money. There we go.
So a little tip there for you guys. My other cool throne is rest versus rust arguments because now the Nats are going to have like a week off.
But I feel like that's probably not as big a difference in baseball because you don't really get – It's also way better. Oh, you get rusty.
Do you? Yeah. Because when you're playing – You don't see fastballs, dude can go out there and you can track.
You can track fastballs. Baseball game speed is basically sitting on your couch spitting on yourself.
But you get over see the problem that you're going to have with baseball rest versus rust is you get pitchers that their arms get extra rest. They get out of like a rhythm and then they're throwing a little too hard and they they lose their control.
It is a problem that the Nationals starting pitchers have been thrown probably once every three games. If you're a starting pitcher, you come in in relief all the time because you don't have a bullpen.
Here's the thing. The Nationals are going to win the next two games and win that series 4-1, so they'll both have some rest.
I think the World Series is a set start. What is it, Wednesday? Thursday? Tuesday.
Tuesday's game one. Very cool.
Okay, my hot seat is soccer in America because we lost to Canada. First time since 1985.
Yikes. Just when you think it couldn't get worse, we lose to Canada.
I don't know, man. I'm kind of...
I'm done with the U.S. soccer until they start fucking just doing anything.
Chain them. Listen.
Don't chain? Listen. On U.S.
men's soccer. It used to be like, you know, they are like, oh, we don't win the World Cup.
We're never going to win the World Cup. But now we're getting embarrassed by Canada and I'm sure someone will be like, well, we were playing our fucking under 19 bros or something.
I don't care. I'm done being embarrassed.
I want them to be good. Maybe the NBA will get canceled over this whole thing and all the players will have to play soccer and then we might have a chance.
Can you buy U.S. soccer? I should buy them.
I mean, I'm a great soccer owner. Yeah.
I feel like that'd probably take on a lot of debt. Only in the second league right now.
Well, then, yeah. If you bought U.S.
soccer, just only pay the female players until the men's team. Are the Swans at the top of the shittier league? Yeah, they are.
It's called the Championship League. Top of the table.
It's called the Championship League. Grayson Allen would be a great soccer player.
Would Championship League be referred to as shitty in your mind? I don't think so. No.
Yeah. Sounds pretty good.
Would you put it like that? All right. My cool throne is Jalen Ramsey-Bl Blake Bortles' relationship because Jalen Ramsey got traded to the Rams.

Oh, I just realized that. Yeah.
A lot of people were making that joke earlier. That's pretty funny.
That's very Ramsey. Yeah.
That's very funny. Didn't get traded to the Chiefs.
No. That's okay.
Did not. Why don't you bring that up? Jalen Ramsey and Blake Bortles are on a good relationship because remember, Jalen Ramsey, when he went off on all of the quarterbacks last year.

He was... and Blake Bortles are on a good relationship because remember Jalen Ramsey when he went off on all of the quarterbacks last year he was very, he had a lot of praise for Blake he said Blake do what he gotta do I think in crunch time moments like last year's playoff game not as a team because we would have trusted him but I think as an organization we should have trusted him more to keep throwing it we got complacent and.
That's a fact. You gotta let Blake sling it.

Also, I went back and I read those comments by Jalen Ramsey.

He started the entire quarterback

roast, remember when he went down the list,

with, um, I think

Marcus Mariota is a great quarterback for their team.

I think Tyrod Taylor is actually a better

quarterback than he gets credit for because

he does not make mistakes. He's honestly a

Marcus Mariota type player. He hasn't thrown an interception in like a year and the news is marcus mariota just got officially benched that's so jalen rams what do you say about mitch uh i don't think he got to me now i did look up what he said about jared goff because yeah he didn't really go in on jared he said that jared his first year wasn't good i think jared would agree with you on that one but then they got a new offense installed and now he's very good at what he has to do.
So I think that no real strain in that relationship just yet, but I do feel bad for Jason Ramsey because as Hank brought up, or Jalen Ramsey. I kind of like that, Jason Ramsey.
As Hank brought up earlier. Jason and Mason.
Jason Ramsey. He's not going to be able to.
Jason Goff and Jared Ramsey. Los Angeles is a long way from Nashville, where his girlfriend is still in labor.
How many times can the Rams go all in? They're in. I think the Rams are just making up first-round picks.
It's actually genius. They just keep, like...
If you just... Who would stop them? Who would actually check if the Rams traded the 2021 first-round pick twice? Does McVay have a long deal? I think so, yeah.
But who would stop him? If you just kept on saying to everyone, I'm going to give you my 2021 first round, my 2023 first round pick. Just give it to like six teams.
I feel like that's one of those catch me if you can things. The paper trail would take a while for people to catch up.
It has to go through the league office first. Well, yeah.
Oh, yeah. They're real smart.
Start making up comp picks that they don't have yet. Oh, getting a comp pick.
We got a judge in the NFL League office to make sure that all these picks exist. IOUs that say pick.
I think we uncovered exact. That's the new build the process.
Trust the process is just make up draft picks. Imagine if we had like a Ponzi scheme type of made off situation and Sean McVay like in five years.
How did we not know he traded first-round pick 17 times. He'd be like Todd Mache scouting for four years ago and be like, oh, wait a second.
Wait, hold on a second. He doesn't have this pick seven different ways.
There are so many people out there that are in NFL draft Twitter. Like the NFL draft industrial complex.
There's a guy that knows exactly where all the picks are allocated right now. Because it's one of those things that when you throw a pick out there that's more than two years away or even one year away I'm just like that's never going to happen can you trade like a 20-30 pick? sure, that's what I would do there is a limit I think they put in like an idiot an idiot like proof thing where you can't trade.
You can't trade all your first round picks. Okay.
So there's a certain amount of first round picks. You can, you can give up at a certain time.
Okay. You can't be like, Hey, we won't have a first round.
I think actually, I think the Knicks made that for all sports. That was just the rule that they said, we're going to protect you from yourselves.
Yes, pretty much. All right, let's get to bill.
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I can hear myself. You can't hear yourself? I can't.
I'm older. You look very good.

You look like you've lost a lot of weight. Keep going.

For your age.

For your age.

For your age.

Can you hear yourself now?

It's all qualified at this age.

Can you hear yourself?

Yes, I can.

Okay.

Thank you.

You look very good.

Oh, thank you.

What have you been doing?

Pay you later.

What's your tip?

I quit boozing like a year ago.

Cold turkey?

Yeah.

I saw you a year ago drunk at the Michigan game. Hammered.
Making Instagram videos. Making Instagram videos.
Oh, I'm sorry. November 24th.
Not like I'm like an AA sober guy. I was just, you know, I was getting, you know, I was having a couple of two, three.
And it just started bothering me once I had a kid. I'm like, I have a baby upstairs, toddler, who's sleeping right now, and I am legally hammered.
I'm not drunk. Was that an after Thanksgiving decision you made or before Thanksgiving? You know what's funny? The last night, the last day I drank, I was watching Michigan, Ohio State.
I was drinking this stuff, Kentucky Owl. Do I recommend that? It was delicious.
and i remember saying to my friend as i was drinking my last one i was going dude i'm never fucking quitting i was having that much fun and then the next day i was just like i need to go on a little bit of a you know and you need to kind of put yourself in dry dock yes for a second so i was just like and i'm like ah god damn it it's the holidays how do you do that during the holidays it's so hard and um i just went on a little bit of a streak and i went to this party and we were all gonna do a shot we were gonna have some bourbon we were gonna smoke cigars and it just so happened a commotion you know it was it was wasn't just a bunch of guys it was women too and kids and stuff so there was just too much of a commotion. It never happened.
And then I got into double digits. And I was just like, well, let me just see if I can go through Christmas.
And then once I got through New Year's Day, I go to the Rose Bowl every year. Oh, the best.
And get loaded, right? Football heaven. Yes.
So I was just like, I'm not drinking this year. And then I just started telling people, I'm not drinking this year.

I'm not drinking this year.

And it's easy now, but it sucked for, like, the first three, four months.

It just sucks.

But if you create that rule, I think it's, like, if you just say, I'm not drinking this year, people respect it.

Like, I made a rule to myself because, you know, when we go out, like, there'll be a bunch of people, stoolies, who will say, oh, can I buy you a beer?

Can I buy you a shot?

I made a rule, like, five years ago, no shots. So people will come up and say, hey beer can i buy you a shot i made a rule like five years ago no shots so people will come up and say hey can i buy you shot i'm like no i don't do shots yeah and if you just say it as point blank like that you if you say like oh not right now like come on what's your problem you're like no i don't do shots yeah i'm not drinking this year so you've gone the whole year yeah shots are for amateurs by the way shots are just they get you trouble.
They're like fast forward on your night. Yeah.
You know, they're getting near to your final destination a little bit quicker. But don't you feel like you don't quite know how far ahead you leap, though? Correct.
That's kind of what I like about it, though. There's no, there's no, yeah, yeah.
I should say it's for younger people. Right.
Yeah. You know, it's for the people.
Sipping and just, you know, nice, you know, initial ascent to your cruising altitude. That's that's what you know.
That's that's a day drinker knows how to drink. But then, yeah, you guys are like the stunt pilots.
That's throwing them down, inverted and all that. I don't I don't I did that.
Bed spins. I'm all I'm all set.
Yeah, that's when you know that you're drinking like your best drinking days are behind you when the act of getting drunk is more fun than being drunk. Like the flight up there's a day drinking there's a sophistication to it right you're like ah it's nice it's nice catching the buzz once i'm buzzed i'm like i am the thinking man's drunk yes it's also a problem once you get past beer four i'd say i just start thinking about the hangover that's going to come the next day oh do you totally ruins my drunk experience which is why i do shots because that way I don't have to think that much in advance about the hangover.
I'm just already drunk. And I'm like, oh, shit, well, I'm fucked tomorrow.
I actually understand that. But the impending doom of the hangover, once I turned 30 at least, that for me was like the tipping point where getting drunk is usually not even worth it.
It's not fun enough to outweigh what I'm going to be feeling the next day. I gotta say, it's amazing that you figured that out by 30.
It took me... So you didn't have a kid? Wow.
Yeah. No, it's not even 50.
I had to have a kid. If I didn't have a kid right now, I would be hungover and about 30 pounds heavier.
I told you before we started, I went to the dentist for the first time in four years after I had a kid. I was like, I should probably figure out some of these things and just try to be an adult.
Death comes from the mouth. For a minute, it does.
I think that's how the Roman Empire went down. They just all mouthfucked each other until they died.
I think it was what they consumed. Oh, it was the pipe.
It wasn't just the jizz. Yeah, it was.
It was like Cinnabons. I think the Cinnabons took out Caesar.
Feeding themselves to lions, that was a problem too. French fries.
It was over. My big problem whenever i've tried to take a little time off drinking is if i show up at a social function or a party and i don't have anything in my hand it just feels like you know i got to be carrying something it's like maybe it's a crutch you know just to have no it's weird walking around with that in your hand it makes you feel more comfortable it's a new it's a new skill set you have to develop and then it's actually fun.
Watching people having a good time getting hammered is fun. It's like watching a reality show.
Like, all right, he's going to have to apologize for that. And like, wow, this person didn't seem that drunk.
And they just told me the same story. This happened two nights ago.
Same story. And the person seemed pretty sober.
And they told me what they did for a living and why they don't like it twice within a half hour. That's their go-to story when they're hammered is just bring everybody else down? I don't know what it was.
No, it was just sort of, I guess, meshed with what we were talking about. We literally just talked about it.
Like if it was an old person, I'd be like, oh, no. This is like, yeah, like dementia or something.
Time to put Nana down. Yeah.
Now, did you say that to him? Were you like, hey, man, you told me the story last time? No, I'm not going to ruin that good time. I just listened like listened like it was the first time i mean i'd be so hypocritical if i did that the third time yeah no what i do is you start drifting you just sort of drift or you finish the story for him yeah you're like oh we're same wavelength it's like i know i know i know how this movie they think you're a mind reader yeah right no i don't like i am a big uh as much as i i talk and make fun of younger people whatever i am a big proponent and letting young people have their good time and just because it's over for you yeah to then come in i'm gonna tell you you better watch out for that because x y and z it's like shut up old man i let me figure that let me feel that sharp pain in my liver right myself i i agree with you there because it's i can't stand people who get into their 30s 40s 50s and they just forget what being 22 was and how how everyone was a shithead i don't know anyone who was 22 and wasn't a shithead oh yeah or most parents most parents what they'll send their kid to school and it's like he's gonna get the shit kicked out of him don't let's go muted colors he doesn't want to stand out right it'd funny.
Next time an old guy starts telling you what's going to happen,

if you keep drinking like that, you just yell,

spoiler alert!

I think it's better to be a shithead when you're 22 and you don't have any power,

you don't have enough money to get yourself in serious trouble

than it is to have all your shit together throughout your 20s.

Then you turn 30, you're established, maybe you've got a couple dollars in your pocket, and then you turn into a shithead, you're much more dangerous at that point in life. Well, look, that's why I try not to make fun of pop stars and stuff.
I still do, but you get all that money, you get a fucking Lamborghini when you're 21, riding around with your shirt off, eating McDonald's, and you still got abs. I mean, who can tell you anything? Yeah.
If you've ever been around someone, I'm sure you have, that has been famous for the majority of their life, they're just not going to be normal. You know what I mean? Someone who was famous when they were 17 years old.
Oh, have I been around someone like that? I'm sure you have. I'm sure you have.
If you're Hollywood Bill. Like, okay, for example, A-Rod.
That's my NASCAR name. Hollywood Bill.
Hollywood Bill, he ain't stopping for nothing. Think about a guy like A-Rod who was famous.
He drafted 1-1 first overall, so he was essentially famous when he was 17, 18 years old. So for the last 22 years, he has been A-Rod.
I think you have to give a little bit to those type of people being like, their world's not the same.

What a second act that guy's had.

Yeah.

Becoming an analysis.

It's just like, I love this guy.

Doing podcasts.

Doing podcasts.

Oh, that's right.

He's on your show.

That's right.

Sorry.

Sorry.

My fault.

My fault.

No, you don't have to apologize.

What a second act he's had.

He's finally working with you.

Yeah, exactly.

There we go.

He's a big come up.

How annoying is the press tour for Paper Tiger Band because everyone's like, hey, Bill, what do you think about cancel culture? There's been moments of that and then mostly not. It's funny.
I found more guys talking about it than the female reporters or whatever. I guess I did a radio tour and there was just one person by the third one, some woman, I was doing a radio thing and she was just like, so you did it Royal Albert Hall in London.
How much fun was that? It looked beautiful. I'm like, finally, somebody would get it.
Yeah, it was just all about, you know, having a good time and trying a new venue and taking a chance by going over there. And most of the special was about me being an idiot and trying to clean up my act so i don't you know screw up this great thing that i have with my wife and kids so um but that's not what the media i had nine no no no most people most people most people uh i mean i i'm sure you guys exist in the same sort of world that I do, that there's this one thing that's being asked, and then there's what people are really feeling.
So it's sort of this weird, like I always compare it to the last election where they sort of misread where people were at. I understand why the cancel culture people are doing what they're doing.
Their hearts are in the right place. It's just the way that they're going about it.
The execution, yeah. Yeah, and it's just like, you know, telling a stupid joke is a long, long ways away from taking your dick out at work.
I mean, I think I can say that, right? So, I don't know how you somehow get lumped into that, where it's just like, how could you in front of all those adults right watch online porn porn tell that shit joke i think the the mediums in in which people are disagreeing now actually has a very big effect on this because it it could just be a disagreement somebody be like hey i didn't like that joke and that should be the end of it but if it's a famous person uh or somebody with a check mark tweeting hey i didn't like that joke to a comedian all of a sudden now it becomes a story and there are blogs written about it i have to be honest and you can disagree with people about what's funny what's appropriate and what's not but it didn't used to have that long tail on it's not really even at this point even worth talking about anymore i think it's it's sort of adjusting back and i think it is it bad in the beginning that people were doing what they were doing

and there was no way to tell people about it.

Now there is. There was a little

bit of an overcorrection, and I think

it's just going to come, you know...

The pendulum has swung back, for sure.

But it can't go all the way back.

It's just too like more of a...

You know, you don't listen to people for

hundreds of years or something. The cork has to

fly off the bottle first, and then it's got to swing all the way this way, and then it's got to gradually, you know, you don't listen to people for hundreds of years or something. The cork has to fly off the bottle first and then it's got to swing all the way this way.
And then it's got to gradually, you know, come back to like, you know, a place where now you're aware that this stuff goes on. You're going to listen to people and then you'll take the proper channels to figure out if whatever went down, went down and then it did.
These are the punishments. And then that's it.
But other than that, that has nothing to do with being a stand-up comedian. Okay, so how was Royal Albert Hall? And you are a venue guy.
You've been to venues not only as a stand-up comedian, but we talked last time you were on about all the different stadiums you've been to. Where does it rank? Oh, Jesus.
It would have been great if you were like 57. I have 57, and I'll tell you why.
I would say that one was probably the top just because it was past Carnegie. I can't believe I can have this conversation with you.
It was past that in that it was another country's Carnegie, and all those people showed up, and I was taping a special, and it's just the the whole thing the way it worked out and Mike the way Mike Binder shot the thing it was really like everything just came together uh that night so I would say I would say that but there's there's different reasons to like a venue I would say the first rough and rowdy that I did with you yes is one of the top venues because that's the house that Ric Flair built. The house that Ric Flair built.
So there's different reasons to like stuff. Where was that? Charlotte? Charlotte.
North Carolina. Yes.
Well, you know what? I was just watching. I didn't have time to see where it was.
I was watching every like four years. I'll watch The Undertaker versus Mankind.
The Hell in the Cell. Yes.
And just as far as working a crowd at all costs, when mankind gets up off the stretcher. I thought he died.
Yeah, and I totally bought in. I totally bought in.
Every time I watch it, he sells it so hard, you buy in. You know he's still got her.
But when he gets back up and slowly starts picking up speed and has that crazy smile. that rumble I I every time I watch it die laughing applauding yes going this is a working a crowd at such a masterful level and even like the you watch how the undertaker when he really knows he hurts him he'll take a couple of bumps to give him a break or miss a move just the the artistry yes of what went on that night and like i just love people that like make fun of wrestling like oh you know it's fake it's like you know a movie's fake but if it's done right right you go along for the ride yes right and like i don't man i don't think it's ever been done better than that so whatever and i was thinking was that in melon arena was that where the that where the Penguins used to play? I think so.
Yeah, the Eagle. That's cool.
Well, because it was in Pittsburgh, and I'm thinking how big wrestling was. I don't know where it is right now, but how big it was then.
That was when The Rock and Stone Cold and everybody. So they were playing all the arenas.
Also the place for, what was that Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? The-Off? No, not Face-Off. Not Face-Off.
That was Travolta. The movie where they were playing.
Vince Rodman. No, they had to stop a bomb at the Igloo, a hockey game.
Shit, I don't know. All right, whatever.
I think you just wrote a movie. It sounds good.
You know some powerful people. That's a reboot.
Yeah. Can we get that made? I don't know, but I love how into the system how into the system you guys think I am.
Hollywood Bill. You're a Hollywood Bill.
Hey, I'm going to green light a couple of projects. Don't do that.
You wore your track suit that made you look like, oh, I just put this on. We know you got a tuxedo under that thing.
No, there's a reason I'm wearing this. I'm finally doing my, two of my buddies got a podcast that historical hyenas, and they're like Bay Ridge, Brooklyn guys.
So what an homage to them. And then I was coming up here.
I'm like, oh, wait, you got that tracksuit July? January. Yeah, January.
January, yeah. So I was just like, oh.
It looks good. Yeah, it's very comfortable.
It always, whenever you wear a tracksuit, everyone's, you kind of carry like a, I don't know, like a weight to you where everyone looks at you like what's that guy's i was walking down the street yeah like a little bookmaking sinister there's a scumbaggery you got some you it ups your level of respect class also brings it down on an evil level but no one will fuck with you yeah like you could you just walk around you're just walking into a starbucks and everyone's like okay yeah well women are like i'm not dating that guy and that guy. And guys are like, I'm not fucking with that guy.
But you're getting what you want. You're getting a reaction.
I also think if you're rocking a tracksuit. Yeah, somebody does think you're up to something.
I was walking past a dude this morning. He was standing on the stoop of a barbershop just smoking a cigarette in a tracksuit.
And I was like, that guy's running numbers. I'm convinced of it.
You've got to have the wife being around. He doesn't have a job, but he's got a strong side hustle yeah and which is almost more intimidating yeah um i want to talk and he's winning because he's out on a stoop in the middle of the day everybody's hustling to work he's having a cigarette he's chilling chilling yeah nowhere to be he's on his own time something to aspire to can we agree yes we can agree yes uh i want to talk real quick about doing your special in england what okay what was your decision making process why were you like, I want to go overseas to film this? Because I plan on doing a bunch of these, and each one has to be a little bit different or it just becomes, I don't know, too much of the same thing, I would think.
So I've done some in the West Coast, the East Coast. I did a couple down South.
It's like, where do I do this next one? It was a big risk because so much of it was about here. Obviously, I live here and I was just like, but I always wanted to perform there and I performed there last year.
And I went up there and I'm such a Zeppelin fan and I love John Bonham and stuff. And that's my favorite concert footage of theirs at Royal Albert Hall.
And it still basically looks the exact same. And that when I did that first show last year, as much as I had a good set and I had a good time, the whole time I wasn't quite present because I was like, oh my God, this is it.
I am on stage here. John Bonham's drums were right there.
I'm standing where Robert Plant was. I couldn't get out of my head.
I felt like I won like a radio contest. You know, go meet your favorite football player and you totally clam up and don't know what to say.
And so it felt a little bit like that. So, but afterwards, you know, and my reps all came over because they wanted to, you know, check out the place.
And then they were all kind of like, this fucking place is beautiful. Obviously, you know, Americans, right? I never heard of this place, right? This place is beautiful.
You should do a special. And I was like, do you think I could? And they were like, yeah.
And it scared the shit out of me because I knew I had this great hour and I was like, what if coming over here fucks the whole thing up? But I just, I couldn't resist how good looking it was. So I had this healthy sense of excitement and fear going the whole way over and i just did some tune-up gigs before i went over there because you just have to get into how many is that to their vibe well i did the liverpool gig first where i got this hat i lose hats all the time this one i've been hanging on to for a minute um so i did that one first and um that was a good show and then the next one went okay and then the next one was good and the next one was good and then the next one was great so it's kind of it's always kind of a the first one always goes well because I'm just okay I'm in England alright fuck it boom I do it or I'm wherever but then the next one you go on stage and you're like okay how did I do this last night so now you're not present so it just puts you like that half a beat behind and then it starts not going well and then because you're in England rather than just being like all right I need to fucking get this going you start thinking like oh fuck was last night lucky do they not find me funny in London in England and then you can then you can start doing the death spiral um so there was a little bit of that for a few minutes but I've just been doing it long enough to know how to to get out of that and um so you still do go into that every now and then oh absolutely absolutely the night you know we taped back-to-back nights instead of doing two in one night what you want to do is two in one night because you know you do your little bp on the first one and then And then the second one, you swing out of your cleats.
And then usually how I do it is I take, you know, the better of the two. And then there's always something I got to, like, cut out because it goes too long.
So what I use, it's almost like a parts car if you watch those guys where they buy two and they just cannibalize all the parts. You just take, like, two little clips so you can take something out and just stick that.
Because I don't want to have, back and forth because even if people don't know you did that it's gonna feel that because all crowds have a different vibe and it's like you're gonna be like you know left speaker right speaker left speaker right speaker it's gonna fuck it up so you have to it's gotta seem like have a flow to it I think so I don't know that's basically you gotta change any of your stuff up when you go overseas like there's certain things that you can't talk about in london that they won't understand that might be part of your normal act in america if i was to just walk down the street and talk to somebody in london yes if you're going to my show at this point because i've been over there enough times they're into what i do so all i'm taking is a couple thousand people that listen to the podcast and get me they come in there but that is not a good indication of if i was just to stand out on the street and just pull a crowd in a park like a street performer there would be a lot of people like you know like they wouldn't have any idea what i was talking about yeah but like yeah so there was a few things i. So there was a few things I had to change.
Like instead of saying Stedman, I had to say Oprah Winfrey's husband, which ended up actually being funnier because I wasn't even doing the man the respect of saying his name. Right.
That's disrespectful. Right.
That's like calling her Zach Ertz's wife. Right.
Yeah. It became more absurd.
The whole thing became more absurd. And fortunately, most people who watched it really got it.

And then it's just the normal.

I didn't like it, so I didn't watch it.

And then there's the I loved it, so I watched it.

And then the stuff we were talking about earlier.

Right.

I didn't like it.

Therefore, you should change the whole thing so I can enjoy it next time.

Change everything about you.

Yes.

Where was the college football trip this year?

It's this weekend. It's Clemson, which I was so excited about, but Florida State stinks.
Yeah. Clemson's a little weird, too.
Have you been? Oh, it's Clemson. Oh.
Have you been? Spoiler alert. Tallahassee? What are you going to do? No, I liked it.
I liked it. There's a rock.
I came here. I was in a good mood, you know? You know what? I liked it.
You'll have a good time. It took time off from my tremendously busy Hollywood schedule of green lighting things in my track suit.
I liked it. You know what? You guys are big on the pizza here.
Never tell somebody where you're excited to go get a slice from. Don't ever fucking do it.
Someone's going to ruin it for you. Okay, here's something.
Do you any uh people hollywood bill do you know anyone at clemson that can take you through the facility oh i i will be like brought in on through beneath the stadium on a zeppelin yeah that's how fucking underground okay well i'll hook you up with my the guy who because the facility is unbelievable. Like, they have this football facility that is just, it's insane.
Basically, instead of paying the players, they put a bowling alley and all these perks in there to be like, hey, isn't this fun? It's like, well, it would be fun if they got paid. But I like Clemson.
I shouldn't have said that. I fucked up.
All right, so what? You misspoke. Yeah, misspoke.
That was totally, you know what? It was because I bet on Clemson and they didn't cover the spread. That's why I didn't like Clemson.
Yeah, you had a little axe to grind. Great tailgate.
But you're mature enough now that you're a father. It was too hot.
See? Yeah, I am mature now. I was too hot there when I went.
But it's going to be nice and cool. It's going to be mid-October.
You're going to be beautiful. It's going to be great.
It's going to be great. Thank you.
What are the most recent – when we 80% of that. I'll tell you after.
When you had – we last had you on, you had almost all of the stadiums. Have you picked up any new ones? Oh, all the pro ones? Yeah.
I haven't. Which is incredible.
It's like a streak that I just love to talk about because I love going to stadiums. There's some rich guy who's been to all – Marlon's name is his name.
Do you know Marlon's name? Does he have his own plane?

Oh, I'm sure he does.

Oh, you're talking about.

He's got your own plane, man.

That's like the PEDs that go to every stadium.

Come on.

That's not fair.

You've got to earn it.

You've got to sit middle seat on a DC-9.

He's the guy that will buy out an entire Southwest Airlines flight and just ride on his own.

So what have you picked up?

Oh, he'll do that?

Like Vince Young style.

Yeah.

That's kind of cool. But you still can't lay down lay down that's true I guess you do the three rows yeah yeah yeah what are you which ones have you picked up recently because it so for people who don't know who maybe didn't hear the first time bill was on he goes in all his travels stand-up you know comedy working on movies Hollywood Hollywood Bill he tries to hit a stadium every time he goes to a new city, and you have been to almost every single stadium in all the four major sports? I've seen, yeah, a home game of almost every team, okay, because a few people like, I've been to a home game of the Phillies, but it was the vet.
I still never got to the new one, so there's a little bit of that going on. But all the baseball, all the football, all the hockey except three.
And I got six or seven basketball, like just a couple of tough cities. Like I've only played Memphis and New Orleans a couple of times.
So trying to not only play there and sync it up when the Grizzlies and Pelicans have a game has been a little bit tough. And then once a year I go to a big college football game.
I've been to to college hoop racing have you done one moto gp next year have you done duke for yes duke carolina i need to do that oh my god dude yeah that was almost on par with the first time i went to uh the super bowl the patriots are in and they won because i went when they lost to the packers then i went when when they beat the Rams the first time. And then but that was just like people standing the whole time.
I came out. My ears were ringing like I'd saw a concert.
It was fucking. It's a small, small area, right? It's like five, seven thousand.
Camden indoor. It is like as far as a sports experience.
Excuse me. Just belch there.
It's definitely, it's an overused term, but it is, Mecca is something that's a wrong term. What about Fog Allestry in Kansas? Yeah, Mecca, I always love that.
It's a basketball Mecca. People from around the globe gathered to kick the Knicks ass.
Five times a day. Because Knicks fans think that that means like the Knicks are amazing.
It's like, no, it doesn't. It just means like everybody dreams of playing in New York City because of the parks.
Not in what happened. What are all those in the rap songs? They always talk about that one up there.
The fucking, did I say rap songs? That's how it went. In all the rap tunes.
When they sing their rap there. They always sing about the lyrics about the Bronx.
Rugger Park or something like that. But nobody's really, you're not really talking about it.
No, it's a pretty good sign. As a Cubs fan, it's's like it's pretty good sign if your team stinks you're probably talking about how awesome your stadium is yeah that's that's really kind of the side or your jerseys or something the more your franchise stinks the more music and zaniness on the field in between plays yes yep i went to the patriots redskins uh yesterday good good which i love that stadium because it's this weird hybrid of old and new.
It sucks. I love that stadium.
You love FedEx Field? Yeah. Well, you had a seat that wasn't behind a giant cement pillar.
I know. You're sitting on Dan Snyder's lap.
No. No, no, no.
I actually, Hollywood Bill came in and was a man of the people. But I was, and I was talking to some dude next to me.
Totally not Hollywood. I was proud of myself yeah you just see how the other half lives no but what it was was the fucking speaker the shit they were pumping out was literally they were playing Twisted Sister and a guy was yelling like that Sunday Sunday Sunday voice over it yep and then this guy who knew the game that's why I liked him was shouting it becomes like when you're in a bar and you're hitting on a you know some chick and you're just screaming in her ear and then she's yelling in your ear it's was i had like my teeth hurt because my ears are fucked from all the years of listening to loud music so i i went out to go get a water and get away from the speaker and then i came back and just kind of stood in the middle and he probably thought oh he's being hollywood bill right it's sort of my it's like two personalities like the hulkster has you know what i mean yeah when i dye my beard black that's that's when i'm yes that's when i'm a man of the people the red the red is hollywood bill something they don't talk about enough in that stadium because you always hear about seattle they pump in the crowd noise right like that's what p carroll has been doing for years at fedex field they have a live marching band inside the stadium sits in the end zone.
They just leave the microphones on the band. Right.
When like in between plays until the ball snapped. So you hear the crowd cheering, but it's just, oops, we forgot to turn the mic, the lapel mic off the trombone player.
Yeah. It works very well for them.
What it is, it's the design. Yes.
How they designed it. It's just like,'s just like a music venue, but rather than getting a great sound for the band, it's like I went there like pregame.
People chatting in the crowd was loud. Yeah.
It was crazy. Like I was looking, somebody brought a baby, and I was sitting there going, I hope they got like those weed whacker.
The Drew Brees. Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, yeah. So pictures from that game.
Was it really as heavy in New England as it looked on TV? Yeah. It looked like – I wouldn't say it looked like you were in Foxborough, but it more looked like when Jacksonville, when they have the big cocktail game between, was it Florida and LSU? Florida and Georgia.
Yeah, LSU. Yeah, Georgia.
That's what it is. Yeah, so it looked like that.
It was like sort of half the stadium was Pat's fans and stuff.

So I try not to be obnoxious and be a dick when I go to other people's stadiums.

My team's really winning like we were.

I'm not going to sit there.

And clap it up.

Yeah, you face it.

Whenever I see that, I just say that person kind of deserves to get the shit kicked out.

Yeah.

All right.

So what would be if you had to pick your favorite stadium in each sport, like your number one, what would it be? Oh, great question. You can't do your own teams.
Oh. No, you can't.
Well, you know what? You don't appreciate your own stadiums because you grew up. I can never quite appreciate Fenway because to me, everybody's like, oh, my God, I went there in the Green Monster.
But it's just like I always saw that, and I thought that that's what a ballpark looked like for the most part. So baseball.
All right. Well, there's different categories.
Oh, okay. I love stadiums.
Okay, I'll tell you what was a great one just off the road. Okay, going diners, drive-ins, and dives here.
I'm going to say County Stadium, Milwaukee Brewers. And first of all, what I loved about that stadium was they still had the beer keg.
in the day every time they hit a home run they had some big-titted blonde would slide down a slide into this alleged bucket of beer like america you know what i mean so she was gone by then but just like um the design like i'll just i don't know just looking like all the all the guts of it were hanging out and just the way they added on to it and stuff. Where they filmed Major League.
Yeah. Oh, is that where they filmed it? Yeah, that one, Old Tiger Stadium was great.
I love the overhang. Yeah, and I sat there.
Oh, my God. That's the best.
I sat in right field because I was like, I wanted to be in the overhang with the short porch or whatever they used to call it. That was a great one.
The Astrodome, knowing that Mickey Mantle hit one. I think he hit his last home run there.
Elvis played there. Earl Campbell, that Monday night football game.
I saw one there. These as far as like the old ones, the cookie cutter ones that were going away.
Candlestick was just a great, miserable, punishing place to go see a game. Just freezing your ass off.
Right on the water, yeah. I always remember this week in in baseball there'd be like hot dog wrappers just swirling around in the outfield yes but as far as like the newer ones i'd have to say that the best new one that i went to is uh pittsburgh yeah i agree it's just the view of the bridges and like i love the pirates in 79 was one of my teams of all time.
It's just a shame their ownership is just running it like, you know, like the Nestle Corporation. I like that whole downtown area, too, where you got Heinz Field right next to – it's not Free Rivers Park, but they got the casino there, too.
They got everything right downtown. And the bridges – The comeback of that city since I've been going there just on the road has been incredible.
Where it's like, it was, when I started going there in the late 90s, it was still the hangover of like, you know, the whole steel industry and all the stuff. Yeah.
Went away. It was before the tech boom.
And like the downtown was like desolate. It was scary.
And it was just, I don't know. It wasn't a lot of action going on downtown, and I went to old, what was it? That one's Three Rivers.
I went to that. I saw Willie Stargell right before he died.
They did some commemorative thing to him. Sammy Sosa was on the Cubs.
I remember I sat in right field, so he was right there. It was a year after 98.
That was cool. What about hockey? What's the best barn? I can't say the Boston Garden.
I took a tour of Maple Leafs Gardens. That was cool before they took out all the seats and fucked that thing up.
But I never went to a game there. I went to the old Montreal Forum, which was a weird one.
I saw them against the Minnesota North Stars in 89 when Patrick Waugh was still there, still a kid. Winnipeg was great.
I took a hockey trip one weekend. Me and my brother went out.
It was a Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Calgary, Edmonton, and Vancouver all had home games.
I was like, fuck it, let's go. And he goes, all right, let's go.
So we went to the Saddle Dome, and it was like... I love that thing.
Yeah, it was snowing out. That was such a great...
I enjoy hockey. That's probably my number one.
That's your number one sport? I love it. Yeah? I love that thing yeah it was snowing out that was such a great I enjoy hockey that's probably my number one that's your number one sport I love it yeah I love it because it's also like it's never been the sport in this country it's rogue it's sort of outside there's a loner sort of thing to it it's very like it's hipster Bill cousin of Hollywood Bill no I looked no it's more like it's more like uh it's more like a stand-up comic but being a comedian there's such a weird like ridiculous amount of respect and no respect for it whatsoever right right like if you tell some of your community oh dude i could never do that but whenever they show us in a movie we're always like a rubber chicken we're on off stage or i mean we've earned a lot of that but like it's weird

it's just like

it's completely

like one of my favorite

two things I ever saw

making fun of stand up comedy

was when Cliff Clavin

tried stand up on Cheers

and the

and the Simpsons one time

made fun of stand up

and it was just

it was done really

it was really done well

when Krusty went dark

yeah

you start hating everything

oh yeah

oh yeah

and he was smoking the cigarette

and stuff

yeah

I watched that

don't you hate pants

That was a great episode. Once a year, I'll watch that.
Alright, I think you have to do another show after this. I'll do one last question.
Listen, Hollywood Bill is in demand. Yeah, he is.
Big time demand. Last time I was here, I was down to Earth Bill.
Now you're in your heads in the cots. That's it.
This whole track suit is just a front. You're just going to have to ride this out with me.
And three years later, see if I come back down to Earth. Then you can see who I really am.
Once you start drinking again. We'll pick you up out of the gutter.
Right. Put on another 20 pounds.
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All right, so now give us football. We need the football.
Best football. College or NFL? Lambo.
Lambo and then also old Dallas Cowboys Stadium because I loved Tom Landry Cowboys when they were like this respectable franchise that did coke and banged hookers as opposed to when it was like back when people some people thought wrestling was real yeah I like that era as opposed to when they were okay it's sports entertainment that was on how about damn Cowboys when they came and then I wasn't as big a fan then I like the Tony Dorset Drew Pearson you get the nice little rectangle of sun on the field as it's setting in the afternoon. Golden Richards.
I liked all of that. Yeah.
Yeah. Robert Newhouse.
I loved all of those. Guys should start wearing.
Remember that weird thing when we kind of joke about it every now and then. Jack Del Rio and who's it? Mike Nolan.
We're like, hey, we're going to wear suits on the sideline as coaches. Hey, this isn't like Coke sweater or anything, but suddenly it's feeling hot.
It does get hot in the studio. We're getting you.
We're smoking you out. We're also what it is.
Yeah, I'm feeling you guys are coming at me during this weird time in the comedy climate. That's right.
That's right. Touched on.
You're going to be fucking canceled. The name of this podcast episode is going to be like, we cancel Bill Burr.
You won't believe what he said about minorities. Yes, it's going to be insane.
you're going to get just curiosity it's going to be insane you have to sell advertising with you got to say what we do with curiosity hits we have cornered the market curiosity hits I think I just coined an advertising phrase yes which one of these fucking space odyssey all these all the above they all got to stare Bubba in the eyes every time that's what I you go to the bathroom here? There's a camera in there. Oh, there is.
And boogers on the wall. And that's legal.
Yeah. If you're on an even floor, it's legal.
It's a one-consent party state, so I can tape you whenever I want. That's the rule.
We're getting yelled at right now. I think that's the way it should be.
Oh, we're getting yelled at? Yeah, we're getting yelled at right now. All right.
We should probably let you go. Bill Burr.
Thank you for stopping by. Yes.
Five to one. You're the best.
All right. Thank you, guys.
Oh, by the way, I love when you and El Perez were talking about there's three football games in one night, and you have to have money. You have to bet them.
I just – You can't not. No, it's about time somebody just admitted how much fun gambling is before you lose everything.
Yes. I can't – Before you lose your wife and kid, I mean, there's nothing better than having action on a game.
I can't understand people. It's this new thing where people are like, well, you got to be a sharp.
Only bet the games you should bet. It's like, no, if there's a football game on, you have to bet it.
If money is being played, you have to bet it. I got buddies of mine that if there's a game they don't give a shit about, they put money on it so they will.
Yes, exactly. I do during baseball season.
I don't give a fuck about baseball, but I'll pay attention. Part of your job you got got to know.
Exactly. The worst thing that's happened is live betting.
Because if I sit down at a bar or a restaurant and there's a game on and I didn't know it was going to be on, it's like, well, now I'm going to live bet it. Because now I have to have it.
It's in front of my face. I like it.
Your face is literally, you're getting crazy eyes. I love it.
I have action on both these games. It's great if you show up early during an engagement somewhere.
I thought you meant you got one game on two screens.

Did you bet both of these games?

No, there's a game coming up right here.

The Braves and the Cardinals.

I had action on that, too.

Okay.

Yeah, so I'm ready to go.

It is the perfect way to kill time.

If you're early for an engagement.

And lose all your money.

Just bet on something.

I lose so much. So much.

Just bet what you know you want.

Oh, yeah, that's good advice, Bill.

Why?

Bet what you can, people. Wow, Bill Burrr you go all the way up there canceled advocating use that clip that's the clip you use all right cool all right thank you that interview with bill burr was brought all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
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Here's Mike Pereira talking about refs that probably need some glasses of their own and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on recurring guest mike perera he is uh the rules analyst for fox sports he was an nfl official and we figured we'd get you on mike good to talk to you thank you for joining us but we get you on to talk about what's going on in the NFL right now because people are mad. And let's start there with why is it different? I don't understand this.
Why is it different than years past? And why does it feel worse than years past? Well, I think you really have to bring into play this whole notion of making pass interference reviewable.

And we thought it might be fraught with problems when it first came in because we thought there would be a lot of stops. And that at least turned out not to be true, which is good.
But what is complicating the issue and quite frankly is nearing disaster stage is that there are now two standards to what is or what is not pass interference. There's the standard that the officials use, and then there's a standard that replay uses.
And so if you're in a rule situation where you go to replay and replay basically says, yes, that is is pass interference but it doesn't rise to the level of what we're looking for they're using this standard of well if it wasn't as bad as the miss in the championship game last year in new orleans with the rams we're not going to call it in replay and and that's the issue. And so from week one, that has been the question.
And it's brought officiating more and more into the conversation. People ask me, you know, is officiating better or worse now, as opposed to when I was there? And I finally kind of came up with my answer is that I think the officials

from top to bottom are better, but the officiating is worse. And, you know, it's been created by replay.
It's created by a system that's called O2O officials to officials. They now have the replay guy in their ear they They have New York in their ear.
It's easier to sit back and think that things are going to be corrected for you. And, you know, the officials will tell me, I got voices in my ear all the time.
Poor referee's got everybody speaking to him. They've got his crew speaking to him.
He's got New York speaking to him. He's his replay official speaking to him you're saying that that they're hearing new york in their ear at what point does the replay official in new york do they get on the wire and actually talk to a ref that's on a field say in los angeles yeah only when he goes he goes to the booth i mean to the sideline monitor, know to talk to him then unless there are certain situations replay can get involved in penalty enforcement replay can get involved if there's a down that needs to be corrected um you know you have situations like that where new york could go directly into the ear of the referee and as we, if you have a call for a personal foul for unnecessary roughness, especially in regards to use of the helmet, then New York goes directly to the referee, you know, without having him to go to the sideline monitor because New York can decide whether or not that the player should be ejected.
Or the officials eject them right away New York can you know get on and say no that's not worthy of an ejection you know it's just like officiating has gone further and further and further from the playing field and then you get rules and bring replay into judgment decisions. You know, the catch, no catch.
Did he have it long enough? The officials look at it in real time and replay, you look at it in slow motion where everything looks like a catch. So it's changed the philosophy on how you do that.
And then you get into pass interference. And now Al Riveron is forced to make a decision when a challenge is made or when a play is reviewed he's got to make these decisions on whether it is or it isn't and the problem is they need to look at this when it comes to instant replay and pass interference and instead of using this ambiguous you know is it clear and obvious and egregious? You know, to me it is or it isn't, period.
That's the way it has to be. It is or it isn't.
And you should not elevate the standard to be so far removed from what you really want called on the field. The standard should be the standard.
Are we going to do Sky Judge, Mike? I feel like everyone just wants to say Sky Judge a bunch of times because it makes us feel like we're in the Terminator movie and then eventually we'll get Sky Judge. Well, I like the Sky Judge, but not, you know, I just relate this to what happens on the field.
The Sky Judge, in my opinion, would be an eighth official and he's a real-time official. He's not an instant replay official.
He's a real-time official. The only difference between him being on the field and in this little setup in some suite in the stadium is that he gets to look at something really quickly, run it back and look at it really quickly.
And if he can correct something in that dead ball period, just just correct it same way that they might have done it on the field you see it all the time where a guy throws a flag and then one of the fellow officials comes up and says you know that's not catchable that wasn't catchable it was over his head it landed outside the white you know or he called the block in the back I saw that it was on. It wasn't in the back.
The left hand was on the front, not the back. And they have that type of input from official to official.
And you could do the same thing. This league needs to stop, in my opinion, needs to stop trying to fix things with Band-Aids.
I mean, they need to look at this at this as you know we got to break down and start from scratch because the system right now is broken the structure is broken in my opinion and it can be fixed but only if you really think outside the box and you know easy for me to say i've been out of league for 10 years and and so i see a lot clearer than i saw when i was in the league but something like a sky judge could work and and um you know maybe maybe they will bring it back for discussion but i i will i will say this i think it's impossible that the rule the way that it is judged now pass interference the replay element I think it's impossible for that to move on beyond this year and I wouldn't be like overly shocked if at some point in the season before the playoffs that it changes it's not beyond the realm of possibility that the standard could change at some point but i i think what is obvious to me is is that the rule in its current form will not be back next year um maybe in a different form but not in the current form that it's in you know what you've done for yourself you put put yourself actually in a very good situation for Mike Pereira, which is you left the league right as all these new rules were getting implemented. You went to television.
You killed it on TV. You're more frequently right than incorrect.
You've got a very high percentage when you're saying which calls are going to get overturned and that sort of thing. You've kind of become America's voice of the official right now.
The NFL, you could basically name your price to the NFL, and the NFL could just hire you back and say, okay, here's how we're going to address everything, is we're just going to bring Mike Pereira back. I think that everybody would actually be okay with that, like all the fans.
We trust you, Mike. You've earned a spot in our hearts.
Well, if I felt they were coming after me to try to get me back, I'd flee to New Zealand today, and I'd hide out somewhere in New Zealand so they couldn't find me. It's not a job I want now.
It wouldn't be a job I want. When I left, I didn't even know what Twitter was.
I mean, there was no Instagram. I mean, we didn't have this stuff, or at least it was only beginning to be popular.
And also, I didn't make decisions. I don't like, and I've said this before, I don't like the fact that a league employee, a league vice president is making decisions on who may win or lose games.
That was never my role. My role was a buffer between the officials and the coaches and the general managers and the presidents and the owners.
I didn't make decisions. But when somebody on the inside, a vice president officiating, makes what ends up being a mistake, that's hard to keep your credibility with those teams that are involved in the mistakes.
There's no amount. They wouldn't want me, but there's no amount that could be paid for me to get me back.
It's just, it's creative. And I like Al Riveron.
I really do. I just think he's been put in such a tough position that I don't know how he can take it week in and week out, especially with the mistakes that are being made that aren't his, but they're still being made that he ultimately is responsible for, it's close to impossible.
Okay, well, I'm optimistic that they'll maybe change one thing that will make it a little bit better, and that's really all people ask for, and I'm optimistic for Sky Judge. So, Mike, you're going to be, you and your official crew, even though you're not a ref anymore, will be off the hook we get sky judged but we uh we appreciate you at least explaining it to us well i'm i mean i was bored in the short lasting aaf last year and uh and actually acted as a sky judge for a few games as did dean blandino by the way and some others and i.
And I just think it's a real good quick fix. And you can correct.
I remember a play that we had a big face mask that was in the middle of the pie. It's reasonable to say that the crew couldn't see it, that they were blocked out on field level.
You just call down and say, hey, there was a face mask at the 28-yard line. It's 32 defense.
Add the 15 on to the end of the run. Boom, let's go.
Boom, done. Finished.
20 seconds. Yeah, it's got to be tough.
That's why we need Sky Judge. What we really look for is we just want like a fuck-up button.
So if there's something that egregious happens that was missed or like a missed call, whether it's the pass interference thing like against the Saints last year or a call that was made that shouldn't have been made. Just like somebody upstairs to be like, no, that was wrong.
Just like hit a button and erase that and move on because we can see it in real time as fans with the advantage of slow-mo replays and all that stuff, which you clearly don't get on the field. So Sky Judge.
So just have the Sky Judge up there and say he gets to overrule or she gets to overrule whatever they want if it's blatant and very clear to everybody on Twitter that starts to yell about it. I'm with it.
Maybe just to have a quick – you can extend the down between the dead ball period between downs. Extend it to about 50 seconds.
And then at 40 40 seconds you have a quick tabulation of how twitter sees you saw the call and you could add those up and if they say that shouldn't have been the foul then you call down and change it if they say it should then you stay with it it'd be the fans the fans maybe could become the officials in the National Football League. The problem is every decision would go for their home team or their bet.
Right. That's true.
They are some. Or maybe their fantasy player.
Right. Right.
All right. Well, Mike, thank you very much.
We appreciate you as always. And hopefully we'll see you soon.
You got it. Ooh.
Ooh. Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on.
Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me.
Not a big deal. Pink Whitney? That's what I thought.
See you, fellas. I invented the thing, you pigeon.
Pink Whitney for legendary moments. Okay, let's get some segments.
By the way, if you want to watch part of my take, BarstowWorld.com slash PMT. We're waving at you right now.
BarstowWorld.com slash PMT. You can see PFT and his little boy outfit.
What's up? Breaking Moose. This is some pretty big shit.
Cars and Edwards? Nope. Aaron Rodgers out for two to four weeks.
Really? Yep. With what? Paying off the refs and now has a nagging hand.
Oh, wow. That's tough.
I think my phone just got a virus for opening this link. You slapped the cash in their hands too hard.
That's fake? Yes, Hank. He didn't go out two to four weeks for paying off the refs and hurting his hands because he was paying off the refs so much.
I did like that. He could have been out for two weeks and then you made up the joke.
No, no, no. It's a link.
Some people just like swirled off the road, probably. Just broke my phone, the link.
Just give some people a heart attack. Listen, when there's a bad call in NFL game, watch out on those internet streets because the memes will be hot.
I did notice that Aaron Rodgers' post-game Southern accent was back a little bit last night. Yeah, he spoke in Spanish.
He got so Southern. Yeah, very Southern.
Extremely Southern. But he also, when he was speaking in English, did the little twang that he's picked up from being around Danica.
Verbal meme, Aaron Rodgers putting a dollar bill in the back of a ref's pocket. That's probably not even a verbal meme.
That's a real meme that you could search if you just search lion screwed on Twitter. Okay, let's do...
First up, we have XFL draft grades. Yep.
The XFL did their draft, and we're going to give grades. We haven't looked at it at all, so let's do it.
It was 70 rounds, and I guess it's halfway done right now. 70? Yeah, it's a lot of rounds.
I guess you've got to put a whole team together. Yeah.
So they assigned quarterbacks before the drafts even happened. So they wanted to make sure that each team had a good quarterback.
So the quarterbacks are Cardale Jones. No, let's go by team.
Okay, well, first of all, I want to say just as a draft, I grade the XFL draft as an A. Okay.
I give it an A because they did it all in Excel.

Okay.

So it's a football guy thing.

Okay.

So D.C. Defenders have Cardell Jones.

Yep.

And Tyree Jackson.

Yeah.

And 1-1 overall, Rashard Davis from James Madison.

Okay.

The D.C. Defenders have the best draft because –

Tyree Jackson is really good.

I like that.

Yeah, I just said it. I know, but I like that.
Hank, you know this name. Donnell Pumphrey.
San Diego State. Shout out 50 Burgers.
Wow. Yeah.
He's a beast. Jarrell Presley.
Why do I know the name Jarrell Presley? Because you just read it. Oh, yeah, that's true.
Okay. Oh, Rashard Davis.
He won a Super Bowl. Super Bowl champion.
Rashard Davis. Let's go to the A.
Yeah, A for D.C. defenders.
And the D.C. defenders have Tracy Sprinkle.
Great name. Houston Roughnecks.
Wait, they also have an offensive lineman named Lorgan. L-O-R-G-A-N.
Houston Lorgan. Lorgan.
Houston Roughnecks. They get an F.
They have Connor Cook. Next.
The New York Guardians. Let's see.
He'll let you start with this one. Okay, Matt McGloin.
Also an F. Great quarterback name, though.
He's the pre-Connor Cook. Yeah, hard F.
Hard F for that. Let's see who else they got on their lines, on their front seven.
Tim Cook, the Apple guy. Whoa.
Tim Cook. They're going to have an insane amount of salary cap.
Marquise Williams, the guy who played, and Mitch didn't get to play. Yeah.
There we go. That counts for something.
Should have won an ACC championship. This is some good draft grades, guys.
Dallas Renegades. Let's go down to them.
Okay, so they got a C. C.
Tommy Lee Lewis, I remember him. Landry Jones from NIU.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tommy Lewis from NIU.
Landry Jones from Oklahoma. Willie Beavers.
Name means penis, vagina. Great name.
Let's see. Josh Allen.
They drafted Josh Allen. A.
A+. A+.
A+. Great draft.
Dallas Renegades. Good job.
All right, so Tampa Bay Vipers. Aaron Murray's still alive? Mm-hmm.
Sure is. That's an A, because you brought a guy back from dead.
That's an A. His brother was on The Bachelor.
Okay, next. Guys that don't watch The Bachelor.
St. Louis Battlehawks.
Jordan Tamu, I like him. Ole Miss.
A. A-plus Brogan Roback.
That's pretty damn good. A-plus.
Brogan's back. They also have a Matt Jones.
Mm-hmm. Everyone needs a Matt Jones.
Yeah, so they get an A, because they got the Brogan. They got Brogie.
Seattle Dragons. I can't believe there's a team named the Dragons.
Brandon Silvers. Keenan Reynolds.
Keenan Reynolds, remember him? Yes. Okay, I'm feeling good about this one.
Malachi Jones from Appalachian State is a great name. Yep, Malachi Jones.
Oh, they have a defensive end from TCU named Stansley. Stansley? That's a good name.
Who cares? That was a fucking good joke. Stansley? Francesa.
Francesa, yeah, yeah. Who cares? Los Angeles Wildcats.
B for Seattle. Official grade.
Los Angeles Wildcats. This is the worst.
We need to stop this segment now. Katie can't Storm.
Storm Norton. Storm Norton.
Storm Norton. That's a porn star.
Trey Williams. Oh, Willie Mays.
Willie Mays. Two-sport.
The only player to be drafted by Major League Baseball and the XFL. Leon Orr.
Reggie Howard. That guy sounds good.
A. Okay, A.
Ryan Cummings. A for the Los Angeles Wildcats.
Okay. That was PMT XFL draft grades.
We'll never do that again. We literally will not.
No. Because they, I don't think, how do they do the draft going? There is no draft.
Moving forward? There will be drafts. I'm sure there'll be a draft.
For the subsequent years. But it's just guys who just are like, stumble in there.
It'd be great. It'd be great if you were a general manager of one of these teams.
You're like, hey, we'll trade you all our next round picks in 2021. We'll trade you all of Sean McVay's picks for Matt McGloin.
Uh-huh. Okay.
All right. We have PMT Sports Biz Update.
Good morning. This is Jake Marsh with the PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Over the weekend, we saw the first major upset this season that had college football playoff implications, South Carolina over Georgia. The first time the word upset appeared in the world of sports in an 1877 edition of the New York Times.
The scene? Monmouth Park, when researcher George Thompson anticipated the potential of the favorite not winning a race. Stuffed shirts now on sale.
Barstool Sports backslash store. They are awesome.

Go. George Thompson anticipated the potential of the favorite not winning a race.
Stuffed shirts now on sale. Barstool Sports backslash store.
They are awesome. Go and buy.
Earlier this week, the Barstool car on Talladega nearly pulled off what would have been an incredible win. When pitching the movie Talladega Nights, Will Ferrell and his director Adam McKay used just six words to make their case to studios.
Will Ferrell as a NASCAR driver. That's your PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Cat and commenter, back to you. Thank you, Jake.
Ooh, very good. Very good, Jake.
Very cool. Good job.
And then let's finish with some guys on chicks. Hank.
What's up, PFT and Dad Cat? I just started seeing this guy. He has a beard.
He's super handsome, but I almost feel like he's tricking me with this beard. I didn't read these yet.
Jake sent these to me, and I feel like I'm not going to like the end of this one. Just curious to see if you guys think having a beard is cheating and actually makes you much more handsome than you are.
Take Hank, for example. Thanks.
Well, yeah. I mean, it's true.
I was saying, yeah. Depends, though.
A beard, it's just, you know, it's a mask for the ugly. Yeah, I was going to say if you're a hot guy, like you have a beard that's why i always that's why i don't grow one is because my face is perfect the way it is yeah beards are definitely a little bit of a cheat code but um you also it's also just simply like if you have a job that you don't have to shave every day why would you shave every day you ain't cheating you ain't trying it really comes down to just like the annoyance of shaving is i could i use to shave every day it sucks i think that that beards really do a guy favors between the age of 20 and 39 if you have a beard in your 40s you're just a beard guy for the rest of your life you can never ever turn back correct hey boom and tj need your help on this one what's the longest amount of time you can go without speaking to someone after a hookup and still go back? Don't want to be a dick, but also looking to get some dick.
I think this was written by a guy. I think this one was written by a dude.
Just calling it. Yeah.
Don't want to be a dick. 15 years.
15 years? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, you know, that's right. If you're high school sweethearts with somebody and then you reconnect without talking for a while.

Boom.

Yeah.

Sex.

Sex is in the air.

Sup, PM Tizzle boys.

Damn.

A little spice on that.

We've talked about that on the show.

Sup, PM T-boys, especially Slim Cat.

My boyfriend is borderline obsessed with blow drying his b-hole.

He claims that the cool button on the hair dryer was specifically designed to comfort dry hairy b-holes without the risk of burning them. Do other guys do this? Please say they do.
No, but... I'm going to try.
I'll be b-holing. I've done it.
I'll be airing out my b-hole. I've done it before.
Yeah. Because you see this at the gym.
If you go into a gym locker room, you're going to see some shit, and it usually starts with a 75-year-old guy with his leg up on the counter blow-drying his sack in his butt. And we see that.
At first, you're disgusted. You're like, why would you be doing that in public? But then you're secretly like, maybe he knows something.
I don't know. We should sell...
Because the problem with this is... You need the mini fans.
Well, yeah, the problem with this is twofold. One is kind of man card situation.
You're using a hair dryer, bro, even though it's on your b-hole. Two, telling your lady that you need to borrow the hair dryer for your b-hole.
It's tough. Solution.
So we need to make a man b-hole dryer. Or you just tell your significant other that you're caring more about your hair hair and you want to look as nice as possible because they as people that spend a lot of time doing their hair will be like wow that's good for you for taking the extra effort and then when they hear the blow dryer they're not gonna be like what like what happens when they come in and there's just a fucking like a flurry of dingleberries everywhere just it looks like a prison it looks like nevada's like jack Jackson Pollock was in jail for 25 years.
It looks like Nevada's field when the trash NATO gets going. It just dingleberries everywhere.
Let's do that. The blow dryer.
Yeah. Finally, a blow dryer for men.
And then the other side of it is a suck your dick. Yeah.
No, it's the same side, but it just has reverse function. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that works. We should sell that.
If you just tell any guy that a product sucks their dick, they're going to buy it. It doesn't even have to because they'll buy it and then they'll be too ashamed to ever return it afterwards.
We should sell, we should open a grilled cheese sandwich place and it's just a hole in every grilled cheese. Like, this grilled cheese sucks your dick.
Sandwiches you can fuck. Yeah.
Hold the mail. mail and guess what if you cut out a big section of the sandwich they don't realize we're saving on cost that's true and then you you take those holes and you turn them into side products yes like a nice grilled cheese holes yeah grilled cheese hole and you sell them piping hot no cow so guys can put them in their b holes on a really Grilled cheese hole sounds good.
Yeah, and you can be like, I could eat seven of them, and it's not a full grilled cheese. Or put them in your junk.
Hey, PMT boys, specialty hot leaf Hank. My boyfriend doesn't last very long in bed, and he always says it's because I'm so attractive, and he's been, quote-unquote, out of the sex game for a while.
It's your fault. We recently started dating, so time-wise time wise it makes sense but is he telling the truth or is he making himself come quick on purpose so the sex will be over no first of all let's just get this out of the way it's a light switch no guy is like I'm going to try to come quick that's what I do every time and I'm really good at it let's see if I there's literally 15 seconds literally a nut button button i try to know that record the next scientific uh he is stating facts that he's so in love with you that all the the blood rushes from his heart to his dick and boom come yeah it's pretty simple stop being so hot or just use roman swipes do you think do you think they're ever in the history of male and female sexual relationships, a female has bought the line of, you're just too hot? Yes, absolutely.
That's why we keep using it over and over again. I don't think so.
I think it's one of those unspoken, unwritten rules. It's the same as getting home drunk in high school and your parents being, like, not saying anything.

Because they're just happy you're home safe.

And you're like, man, I totally got one over on them.

They knew the whole time.

I don't know.

Every time you come quick and you're like, it's because you're so sexy.

They know, but they're just being nice because it's an unwritten rule.

It's like bunting on a perfect game.

Can't do it.

That's it.

Well, I know that.

Okay.

Good session.

All right. We'll see everyone on.
Okay. Good session.
All right.

We'll see everyone on Friday.

I think Friday we have a Watt brother.

Yeah, that's right.

Which one we don't know.

Who knows?

And possibly Warren Sharp to give us some actual football picks.

Maybe he'll give me my can't lose parlay so that I actually can't lose it this time.

We'll see everyone on Friday.

Love you guys. Shining away I'll be coming for your lover Take on me Take me Take me Take me Thank you.
I'm the only one

Here to the world Take me down.

Take me on me. Take me on me.

Take me on me.

Take me on me.

I'll be on me.

I'll be on you. Thank you.