French Montana, Alex Bregman, TNF + Week 5 Preview And Picks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer for the people. Probably the craziest combo you could come up with, right? Yeah, yeah, I'd say it's definitely in terms of randomness.
French Montana and Alex Bregman, as random as it gets there. We talked to Alex Bregman about the start of playoff baseball.
but we talked about French,

but we talked to French Montana about, I don't even remember, but it was awesome. He was cool.
He liked us. Yeah, we had chicken delivered in the middle of the interview.
Yep, he started eating, and it was a great time. So we have that.
We have NFL preview, some picks, my money line parlay that cannot lose uh and then some woes and our fire fest as we progress through the season every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept but you know what isn't hard to accept discover believe it or Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit

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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff, work to be done No place to hang a little washing And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Part of My Take presented by Bar School Sports Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App Go download it right now, use code BARSTOL.
You get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Friday, October 4th, and the 12th man is back.
It was loud in Seattle tonight. Was it? It was loud.
They don't talk about that a lot out there. It was very loud.
There were a lot of costly delay of game penalties, but everyone's talking about the refs. Really? Let's talk about the refs.
Why? I want to jump right into that. That call on Clay Matthews hitting Russell Wilson.
First of all, you should be allowed to hit Russell Wilson in the head because of the nano bubbles. Yeah.
It's concussion water. He's immune to head-to-head hits.
That's very clearly shoulder-to-shoulder on him. That's a reputation call.
And also, it helps being short. So, big come up for us 5'10 and a half guys because your head is right there at a normal person's shoulder level.
Yeah, but it's a reputation call. For Clay Matthews, that's right.
I mean, that's... Noted dirty player.
Unfortunately, nobody got it last year. I know.
He landed on Kirk Cousins too hard and didn't apologize. Right, right.
Which actually, in retrospect, we should have thanking him for like landing on kirk cousins the vikings should have been thanking him and ask him to do it more often hitting some sense into him all right so the game we're on a streak boys two for two it two in a row great thursday night football games that was a great game even if you want to talk about the refs, which is fine. It was exciting.
It was thrilling.

It was back and forth.

It looks like the Seahawks were going to have an all-time choke job with the,

hey, let's run Oklahoma State's offense and try to pitch the ball on third and two

when Carson is running for four and a half yards of carry.

They got cute with it.

At the end of the game, they also had the end of the first half

where they missed a field goal and let the Rams score a touchdown, which felt like a momentum swing, At the end of the game. They also had the end of the first half where they missed a field goal

and let the Rams score a touchdown, which felt like a momentum swing,

but the whole game was momentum swings, and it was awesome.

It was great.

Pete Carroll was in rare form tonight.

I don't know if you noticed this new thing that Pete Carroll does,

but when he's strutting up and down the sidelines, chopping on that gum,

he's doing the thing where he just stares down at the ground in front of him.

Yeah.

He's so focused.

He doesn't care what's going on. He just needs to know the situation.
He'll call the playoff that. He's not looking at the field, not looking at his guys.
He's just looking at the blade of grass in front of him. He's just – yeah, he has it all right there.
He's just locked in. I also noticed something tonight about the Seattle crowd, which was very, very loud.
I actually think that Greg Zerline missed because it was so loud.

The sound waves?

Yes.

Now, what if a stadium told fans on one side,

just on the left side of the stadium,

you guys all blow out at the same time.

You guys all fart on the left side of the field.

All the way.

Would there be enough air to push a field goal?

Yes.

As a physicist, yes.

Let's try it in Cincinnati.

Feed only one half of the stadium's skyline. There's not going to the stadium skyline more than 10 000 people no there'll be some people there shout out cincinnati for maybe going to the game when the bengals are horrific but uh the seattle crowd leads the league i think 10 years running in fans wearing receiver gloves.

Every time they show the crowd,

there's at least four or five fans clapping in receiver gloves.

And there is some special place in heaven for the NFL fan that shows up to a

game in receivers gloves in the small chance.

They get some TV time and they can put them together and it makes the logo.

They also have a lot of fans that are dressed up with a mask on,

like a bird mask, our full face paint,

that aren't sitting in the lower rows.

I'm talking about the upper decks.

There's a guy that's wearing a full eagle costume

that has no chance of being on TV.

Has never even seen a television before.

He doesn't own a house.

He doesn't have electricity.

He lives in a tent next to I-5, and he goes to the games every Sunday during the season wearing a full falcon on his face. Right.
And I love that. I do love the Seattle crowd.
It's loud. I know they pump in the crowd noise there.
That's a fact. We've confirmed that.
Boots on the ground. But I say Seattle should be allowed to do it.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
They should pump in the noise I have a question for you PFT I have an answer okay this is a narrative thing that's going to be get going a pre-narrative has the NFL caught up with Sean McVay no okay I think the correct way to approach this narrative is did Bill Belichick break Sean McVVay's brain? Okay, we're not doing do your pod. The books, right now, there's a blueprint out there.
This is copycat league, okay? And the Seattle defense held the Rams to 29 points. The week before, the Bucs held them to 40 points.
The defenses have caught up to Sean McVay's brain. All right, so in a weird way, I think there's a little bit of panic for the Rams and how they've played their last two games but this game to me short week division opponent on the road you lose by one it's not obviously you never want to lose but I feel like it was a nice answer from what happened on Sunday against the Bucs and they got a few games coming up they have the 49ers at home at the Falcons and the Bengals at home.
They should win all three of those. Yeah, it's not time to push the panic button yet in L.A.
The panic button is across the road. The panic button is up in Marina Del Rey.
And right now you're on the 410 and you're down in Temecula. So it's rush hour.
It's rush hour. So you're not getting to that panic button for a long time.
I do think that it's absurd that Sean McVay ever misses on a challenge. And he had a really bad one.
Yes. He had a really bad one in the end zone.
I think it was woods, right? Yep. It was woods.
And he clearly didn't get his knee down, didn't get his feet down. If you have photographic memory, like Sean McVay, you should, your eyes should just be able to glaze over like a precog right and just access that memory in your head and nope nope we're not we're not throwing that flag the uh only other thing i had on this game and i joked about at the start but it does feel like the seahawks have that mojo back you know what i mean they they have changed over their entire defense from bob Bobby Wagner.
So there but most of their defense has changed over from the Super Bowl team, but it feels like they've retooled. You know, they lose Doug Baldwin.
Tyler Lockett is the new Doug Baldwin. This fucking guy.
Miss Lee is Disley. Disley is insane.
Yeah, Disley is insane. Luke Wilson caught a ball.
Well, Luke Wilson's got the boys on a two-game winning streak. Luke Wilson's got the boys on a two-game winning streak.
DK Metcalf is awesome. So, yeah, the Seahawks feel like...
Chris Carson. They're back.
Chris Carson. Chris Carson is really, really good as first reported by us.
I mean, look how many guys we're naming on the Seahawks. They're clearly good.
That's right. I think if you sat me down right now, I think we just got...
We could easily get to 11. off the bat davion clowny boom done he's recovering fumbles on his own he's he's making his own team fumble balls that they picked up after he forced a fumble on the other team yes which he is playing like a maniac uh the jerseys tonight i some were saying candy ass no i say no they're the color of a poison arrow frog you know not to go near him as a human being those they're at home those yeah at home they're awesome they're like they're visual asmr yeah they give my eyes goosebumps it also is like i know i know it's not the same i know it's not the same states but like i always just think you know pacific northwest the seahawks the oregon ducks can just wear weird uniforms.
Absolutely. When you get up to that corner of the country, you're a weird uniform corner.
What about Michigan State? Michigan State? Can they wear it? No. They're not in the weird uniform corner.
But they have those type of uniforms. Yeah, yeah.
But those are stupid. What about Baylor? Baylor is different.
Baylor's entire brand is we're going to wear the highlighter uniforms. Correct.
So they're the Oregon of the South. In Michigan, it's like your exotic color in Michigan should be gray.
Yeah, maybe a light gray. Yeah, a neon gray up in Michigan.
And that's the best thing. Like the field at EMU.
Eastern Michigan. Yeah, exactly.
That's the swaggiest that it should get up there. Which looks like Pleasantville.
When you watch an Eastern Michigan game, it really plays some tricks with your eyes. It does.
It's like Schindler's List when there's that one girl that's wearing the red. Yeah.
Or Pleasantville, where the whole movie is. That's a much nicer way to put it so we don't have to talk about Nazis.
I have a note about Troy Aikman real quick. Yes.
He's concussed. He's concussed permanently.
He uses the term. When he talks about Jared Goff, he calls him Jared Goff.

I kind of like it.

All the time.

A little shot at Tony Romo maybe on that one.

I kind of like that.

Also, if you take a shot every time he says heck of a during a game, you're going to end

up sounding like Al Michaels by the end of it because you will be fucking hammered.

Well, in Troy is getting a little bit older and this happens to broadcasters.

It feels like their dialect just gets, you know, gets shrinks as the years go along.

the Well, Troy is getting a little bit older, and this happens to broadcasters. It feels like their dialect just shrinks as the years go along.
I mean, we all remember Phil Simms at the end like it was four words. Yeah.
I'm not saying he – I like Troy and Joe. I think that's a great booth, but it's going to happen.
It happens to all of us. That's why I only talk about Jesus and Hitler.
Right. My vocabulary has shrank so much.
Did you hear what he said about Cooper Cupp's dad? Oh, he shamed him, right? Uh-huh. He said he doesn't remember.
Backup at one point for the Cowboys back in 1991, Craig Cupp. I'd forgotten all about that.
Jeff Farmer with the LA Times. I didn't even know that Craig was Cooper's dad.
He was there for, I don't know, maybe two cups of coffee.

It wasn't very long.

That's perfect.

That's perfect.

He definitely owes Craig Cups some money off like a card game.

And he's like, oh, I don't even remember that guy. That guy?

No, that's a different Craig Cups.

Never heard of that guy before.

We should quickly, before we get to the preview of the NFL weekend, talk a little playoff baseball.

Well, first of all, PFT's in a full uniform. weekend, talk a little playoff baseball.
Well, first of all, PFT is in a full uniform now. Tommy Lasorda is still alive.
Yep. The Dodgers are a wagon.
We knew they were a wagon. The Nats.
The game ended in the seventh or whatever it was when they put in Fernando Rodney because that is the human. What's the opposite of the human victory cigar? It's just a white flag.
Yeah, just a white flag. He's just throwing the towel in when you put Fernando Rodney, and I cannot believe he's still in MLB.
But, yeah, the Dodgers are awesome, and they still have Clayton Kershaw tomorrow. Yeah, well, that could be a spin zone because we got playoff Kershaw tomorrow.
That's why I'm not worried about it. Game one, as Nate pointed out, the Capitals lost every game one that they played on their way to winning a Stanley Cup.
So that means nothing for this. No, that means...
How many five-game series did they play? You know what that means? It can be done. Yeah.
It can be done. Not giving up hope just yet.
Fernando Rodney, he did look awesome. He has like the highest quotient of looking cool to being shitty.
I don't know. Of nearly any player.
If your team brings Fernando Rodney out. It looks like Kimbo Slice.
My team has before. It doesn't look awesome.
Because you're like, well, and this is over. That's fine.
We got Kershaw going on the bump tomorrow. We're good.
You're excited about that. Don't let us win that one.
Don't let us get hot. Yeah.
And then in the other game, I have a bad feeling that the fucking Cardinals are just going to do this shit all October long. Do what? When? And just do it in stupid ways and just like come back.
You sound angry. No, I'm not angry.
I'm more just like, I know. I know.
I've seen this. I've seen this before.
And no, I'm not going to say what I was going to say. Go ahead.
Go off. Well, there's the whole thing that, you know, the Cubs won in 2016, but then Cardinals fans, if they somehow pull off a World Series this year, they'll be like, hey, the Cardinals won one in the Cubs quote-unquote window, and then I'll just kill myself.
Their fans deserve it, though. Shut up.
This is still your window? No, the window closed. Well, no, yeah, the window's open.
As long as Javi Baez and Chris Bryan are on the team and Anthony Rizzo the window is open. I just don't want St.
Louis to have two championships at the same time. That's all.
I don't think any city... That's Boston shit.
Can you imagine if St. Louis...
I didn't even think about that. I blacked out the blues.
If St. Louis turned into the Boston of the Midwest...
No, no. I'll quit the pot.
I'll quit also sports media. If they win like four out of the next six championships.
Title Town, baby. If the Rams win this year.
Oh, nice, Hank. Way to bring us back.
Good job, Hank. There we go.
Okay, let's do our weekend preview. And it is brought to you by BetMGM.
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Boys, we have a big-time loser leaves town game. Okay.
I've got one, too. Is it the same one You say it at the same time.
Say the away team first. Okay.
Three, two, one. Houston.
Nope. Okay.
Houston's home. So you just already broke that.
It's the Falcons. Okay.
So I'll explain mine. You explain yours.
Bill's Titans is my loser leaves town game because if you want to flash forward three months from now. Okay.
Think about it. Yeah.
PFT. You're sitting on the couch.
It's late December and you're watching a Saturday night game. That sounds amazing.
And it says AFC playoff picture and team six and seven are the Buffalo Bills and the Tennessee Titans. And whoever wins this game is going to have the tiebreaker.
And I think this could be the game that eventually decides who gets that wild card spot. Okay.
I don't actually hate that that much because it makes a lot of sense. It does.
And Josh Allen is back this week. Maybe.
Word on the street is he's back. Oh, is this another source? No, I'm just saying.
Yeah, the source is my own brain. Okay.
I don't think they made a roster move to activate. Ready for this? Yeah.
Davis Webb. Okay.
I like Davis Webb and I would like to see him get in the game. He'd be the backup.
In what world do you have Davis Webb? He's on their practice squad, so he would be the backup to Matt Barkley if Josh Allen cannot go. Okay, got it.
I do like that pick because we don't know which Titans are going to show up. If we're going to get the Reba McIntyre Titans or if we're going to get the Luke Bryan Titans.
They also are two teams that are just pretty much the same thing, just looking at each other. Good defense and the offense could show up or could not show up.
We could have a 10-7 game or we could have a 44-17 game. Yep.
Who knows? Okay, my loser leaves town was Atlanta and Houston. But Atlanta's already a loser.
Well, we've been threatening to kick both those teams out for a long time now. Correct.
They're both losers. Now it's a question of will they leave town.
We're their parents. They're sitting down in the basement playing their Nintendo games all day long.
They should have a pinky celebration at halftime. Get a job, guys.
Yeah. Pinky swear to each other.
No, at halftime they should pass the proverbial pinky knife from the Texans to the Falcons. Pass the cigar cutter.
Yeah, like, here you go. It's yours now.
I like that because we have been enabling both those teams and not kicking them out. Correct.
It's like they're addicts and we're allowing them to stay using their drugs, which are actually just shitty footballs, in our basement for way too long. So, yeah, I think whoever loses that game probably won't make the playoffs.
Okay. So, all right have are we sure they're good game yeah green bay and dallas yes i actually have this on my card i think the packers might be in trouble because if you look at the packers defense the packers defense that was much lauded at the beginning of the season uh has regressed run defense-wise every single week.
That's hard to do, to get worse every single week. So their run defense is a major red flag, and if Dallas runs the ball, they are basically world champions.
They're the best team in the league when they can run the ball because they do everything off of it. So I think the Packers might be in trouble.
it's also wishful thinking but I do like that as are we sure they're good because if the Packers

win this game then we're going to go away saying wow this is one of the best NFC teams the Cowboys

win this game they will get one of the best NFC team tags we're also guaranteed to get some skip

Bayless takes out of this game because this is the rematch Mason Cross of the Mason Crossbar in

fact just yesterday he tweeted out Aaron Rodgers sure has been lucky versus Dallas in the playoffs

I'm going to go of the weekend preview the 10 games at one o'clock and the two games at four o'clock is a crime against humanity i think we can all agree on that what are the late games today it's this weekend broncos chargers and the packers cowboys okay it is a crime against humanity and if you are a gambling person which i assume you are because you have a pulse and you're listening to this podcast and you have a heart in your chest and a brain in your head you need to walk very carefully on Sunday because there is nothing worse nothing worse than laying a egg at the one o'clock games and having nothing to win your money back later in the day. You will have very few opportunities.
You don't want to be the guy. And I've been this guy who gets stuck on Sunday night football, having to bet first quarter, first half, you know, full game money line over under like all the bets just to try to recoup it all.
This is why we need to throw a random-12 basketball game in there in October this is a threat level midnight be careful I would say it's like having an office party at Buster's this Sunday which would be awesome right you're having a great time you're maybe winning some tickets some cash prizes on the mini basketball you're getting drunk as the day goes on having a blast you're looking for who you're going to take home at the end of the day, right? And you're having so much fun playing their mini games that everyone leaves, and all that's left is the person from accounting that's been hitting on you all year, and you're not a big fan of theirs, and you're like, I guess I just got to go for it. And then you end up getting them pregnant.
That's what you're in danger of doing this Sunday if you fall behind early. So don't do it.
You don't want to be pregnant with the Chiefs-Colts game. No, do not.
You don't want to do that unless you're taking the over, which I love in that game. Well, of course, because, I mean.
You have to. They're daring you.
You won't take the over. They are daring you to take that over, 56.
Okay, let's do some picks. Let's start with our over.
Hank. Yes.
Do it. My over is going to be in the Cardinals.
No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Cardinals Bengals? Gross. Falcons-Texans.
The Birdcats. Okay, Falcons-Texans.
Interesting. Okay.
Weird. Yep.
All right. How so? What's your over? My over is going to be the Chiefs and the Colts game.
56. I love it.
Verge. That's not a verge.
That's a big time verge. Big Chad move.
Are you kidding me? 56 points. This is gut check weekend for me because not only am I doing that over, the big over, I'm also going to do the big under when we get around to it.
Okay. i've been thinking about this a lot because we've had some stinky sunday night games big under um betting the over on a sunday night game is like a double bet because if you if the under hits you lose and if the under hits it also sucks yes game and if the over hits it's an awesome game right it's a double bet but you know it's a triple bet because then you get al michaels trying to sneak in the word over into something that he says at the end of the game.
All right. I'm going to take the Packers-Cowboys over 47 for my comments earlier about the Packers run defense.
I think the Cowboys are going to be able to put up a lot of points and then Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers will show up just to stick it to Skip Bayless.
Just to stick it to him. Do you think Ernestine knows who Mason Crossbar is? She probably just thinks that his name is Mason Crossbar.
He probably screams out his name in sex sometimes. She's probably like, isn't that crazy that he's a kicker and his name is Mason Crossbar? That's kind of weird.
That's nuts. It's like Homer Bailey.
Shout out Homer Bailey. Big time dick baller.
Hank, you're under? Under. My under is going to be in the Bears Raiders.
The big under. Nice.
Right. Okay.
So Bears Raiders. Yeah.
Big under being played over in East Australia, Great Britain. Bloody Bears and the Raiders.
They're traveling across seas and they both kind of stink. We got a big time.
Just like my English accent. By the way, this Bears- both kind of stink we got a big time just like my English accent by the way this uh Bears Raiders game we got a big time how do you do your London travel debate because the Raiders the the famous how do you do your London travel debate that everyone loves to talk about the Raiders left straight from Indianapolis to London they did they were Bears didn't go till Thursday I lean the Bears way because they feel like that's a really...
The Raiders essentially left for Indianapolis on Friday, and they have not been home since. And if you...
Once you get to like day five, six of not being in your own bed, that's when you're just like, fuck this. I just want to go home.
I feel like... Yeah, but if you're in a different country, it's a little different.
It's a little mini vacation. I feel like John Gruden is not the kind of guy that would ever pack seven days worth of clothes to do anything.
He doesn't think that far in advance. He's wearing Deuce's muscle tees right now.
Yeah, he's going to wake up in London on a Saturday morning with no clothes and go out and get dressed in like Peaky Blinders, suspenders. He's going to have to buy new clothes.
Like a Newsboy hat, suspenders, the trousers that get bagged up around the knees yep he'd look good uh hank your favorite my favorite i'm going to pick the pictures yeah

okay yeah because i like the other we knew by the way first half line on that it's going to be like

nine and a half i don't know how that loses i already put it in they don't know how that loses

the redskins don't even know who's going to play quarterback for him yeah and this isn't like jay

gruden saying like trying to beat bill belichick and saying i don't know we don't really have a

Thank you. Now that loses.
The Redskins don't even know who's going to play quarterback for him. Yeah.
And this isn't like Jay Gruden saying, like trying to be Bill Belichick and saying, I don't know. We don't really have a plan on who's going to start a quarterback.
He literally doesn't know who his quarterback is going to be on Thursday. Right.
Right. He himself doesn't know.
I have a theory about that, by the way. I think I was wrong last weekend when I said that Dan Snyder smashed his red emergency phone that he uses to administer shocks to his coaches if they don't play the players that he likes.
I actually think it was Jay Gruden saying, fuck you to Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen who want him to play Dwayne Haskins. He put Dwayne Haskins in knowing he was going to fuck up just to be like, see, I told you he wasn't ready.
Yeah, I don't buy that. I think he just sucks.
No, no. I think that's exactly what happened.
I think Jay Gruden has a sour enough relationship with the front office where he's like, I'm going to put this guy in and perhaps ruin his confidence for the rest of his rookie year just to make a point to my shithead owner. Or counterpoint, he might just suck.
That could happen. Or it could be both.
Actually, I would I would submit that yes, he does suck because he did something like that. Right, right.
Okay, so your favorite PFT. My favorite.
Did I say my under already? Yeah. I already said I'm taking the big under, and it's going to be.
Oh, wait. Are we on unders? I did my under, and then you guys never gave your unders.
No, Hank did the big under again. And you did your favorite.
I'm an idiot. Okay.
My under is going to be the London. You're doing the London.
My big under. My big under.
No, it's going to be fucking Buffalo, Tennessee. Okay.
Right? 38 and a half. Why are you talking in an accent? Because Hank spoke in an accent.
But that was a London game. But I got incredibly jealous hearing Hank get to use a fake voice while I was sitting on the sidelines with my child in my hand, right? You can't let someone else do a fake voice? No, it can't be happening.
Okay. All right.
So your under is the Bills Titans. I'm going to go with the Bucks Saints.
Kind of ballsy because it feels like there should be points in the dome, but I don't think Teddy Bridgewater can throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. So I like that under.
If James Winston wore two gloves, he probably wouldn't get caught for all the crimes that he does. True.
You have the Patriots. PFT, what's your favorite? My favorite is going to be the Pats.
Okay. So you also have the Patriots.
Do y'all job, baby. I am going to take.
I want Hank accent to be like a thing during this segment from now on. I'm going to take Houston minus five.
We don't need that. What? The Hank accent.
Oh, I like it. I'm going to take Houston minus five.
Hank Caliendo. Round us out with your underdog, Hank.
He's trying to think of which accent. Cut, cut, cut.
This is taking forever. Packers.
Packers? Jeez, Big Cat. You got somewhere to go? Plus three and a half? Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, the Nats game's about to start. It's a Chad move.
Or no, it's a Verge move. It's a Verge pick, I think.
To take the Packers? Why is that? I just feel like it's a sucker pick. I don't hate that pick.
Plus three and a half. That feels like they have to have that game close.
It's the only fucking game on. Also, we'll talk about it in the Fire Fest, but I like every single underdog.
Yeah, we will talk. We need to have an intervention.
All right, PFT, you're underdog. I'm taking Pittsburgh, plus three and a half at home okay i like those two teams don't like actually that was mine i'm in the ravens yeah i like that throughout the record books mason rudolph maybe not that bad maybe his head isn't too big who knows we will find out i do think the ravens are severely overrated so i like they've this would be so they've done a major like come back to earth for the last couple of weeks.

Would it be so classic for the Ravens to have all this hype for the Browns

to have all this hype for Big Ben to get hurt and then the Steelers to win

the North to still win it?

Yeah,

absolutely.

That's that's so going to happen.

All right.

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All right.

All right.

Let's do fantasy fuckboys before we get to our two interviews.

We have French Montana and Alex Bregman coming up.

Hank, why don't you start us off?

What's up, boys?

It's Mario Montadala.

My stardom

is foliage. Oh, yeah.

Red, orange, yellow.

Bring them all down. Fuck the green.

Go yellow. Go red.
Go

orange. It's the season.
Let's get it. Yeah.
it Yeah yeah Crunchy leaves My sit-em is the joker Or just jokers Fucking hate jokers That you don't take life seriously What are you doing? Yeah that's right Federer is a goat You better not be talking about Novak And my sleeper is TikTok Yeah? Not the app But the song by Ketcha Absolute banger Yeah it is TikTok TikTok Yeah? Not the app, but the song by Ketcha.

Absolute banger.

Yeah, it is.

TikTok, TikTok.

There you go.

They just transport five years ago.

Still stands.

Still bangs.

Yeah, there we go.

There we go.

Do a little dry hump into some Ketcha.

Yo, what's up?

My name is Marty Mussolini.

This weekend,

I'm starting liking

or not liking

a comic book movie.

One or the other. We heard old Hanky accents over there talking about the Joker.
I think if you like the Joker, you're an incel. If you write a 2000 word blog post on why you didn't like it, you're definitely having a lot of sex.
So that's cool. I love people's opinions about comic movies.
Hell yeah, let me hear it. I, fuck you, Kirk Cousins, you piece of shit.
Yeah, fuck you, Kirk Cousins. My sleeper, I'm sleeping Sam Donald this weekend.
That's right, Sammy Dimes, because he might, Jets might get killed if he plays. He said he doesn't want to die.
Well, I got news for you, buddy. You're the Jets quarterback.
You should absolutely want to die. At least show that you've got a little bit in common with your fan base, you sick fuck.
Mono y mono. Nice.
My name is Nunzio Campanelli, and I, that was my sit-um. My sit-um is Sam Donald.
If you don't want to die playing football, you should never play football in your entire life. Get off the field, you sick fuck.
Coach O just knocked out another tooth, and you're talking about dying? Loser. I would love to die on a football field.
My Sodom, dead mascots. Aurora, the Falcon, dead.
23 years, Air Force. Put your lungs on it.
Put your house on it. Put your kid's house on it.
Take out a credit card. Put it in your kid's name.
Get the deck going. Put it on that too.
Rip Aurora. They're going to play for Aurora.
That Falcon got gods done, James.

My sleeper, Rutgers football.

Yeah, I said Nunzio Campanelli.

Yeah, I'm the head coach of Rutgers football.

How the hell can Rutgers football fail with a head coach named Nunzio Campanelli?

That's fucking real.

Oh, Nunzio's in our living room and he brought the gravy.

Hey, you're a five star.

You want to come to Rutgers and be a man? That's actually his name. Nunzio Campanelli.
He's a good fuck. The minute I saw it, I was like, oh, fantasy fuck boys got a job.
So shout out to him. Yeah, Sam Darnold's saying that he doesn't want to die, dude.
Join the club, man. You got mono.
His spleen, though. You got mono.
The thing about the overgrown spleen is why don't they just take it out? You don't need a spleen, right? Dude, Chris Sims doesn't have a spleen. All that happened to him is he just became a germaphobe.
When was the last time you woke up and you were like, my spleen feels great today? Oh, my spleen. I have always had a large spleen.
It's just always been. You've got a lot of guts.
It's very big. Unlike Sam.
It's just a large, large fucking spleen. Maybe Sam's spleen is in his forehead forehead and that's why it's all swollen.
Ooh, that was mean. That was mean.
I'm sorry. For a shot.
I'm sorry. Sam Donald's forehead, which is very big.
Pronounced. Huge.
That just means you got a big brain. Yeah.
I mean, Peyton Manning had a great forehead. He won two Super Bowls.
After Peyton Manning's wife started taking HGH, his brain, his forehead grew so much because he knew that he had to compete to be more out right exactly okay let's get to our interview we'll do French Montana first and Alex Bregman from the Houston Astros before we do that what a combo yes all-time combo find another show that has French Montana and Alex Bregman you can't you literally cannot before we do that on average a burglary happens once every 23 seconds in the u.s approximately 2 million burglaries are reported a year in the u.s census 83 percent of burglars admitted that they specifically look to see if there's an alarm and 20 out of 1 000 households were burglars in 2017 and what's crazy is that only one in five homes have home security maybe because most companies really don't make it easy but that's not with simply safe simply safe makes it super easy super affordable it's no hassle and they come and set it up and you're ready to go simply safe protects every door window and room with 24 7 professional monitoring they make it easy no contract hidden fees or fine print it's won a ton of awards from cnet to the new york times wire cutter prices are always fair and honest but one thing that truly makes simply safe stand out is their video verification technology when other home security systems are triggered a lot of the time police assume it's a false alarm and the call goes to the bottom of the list but not with simply safe using their video verification technology they're able to visually confirm that the break in is happening, allowing police to get to the scene 3.5 times faster than other home security companies. That's insane.
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And Larry likes the Cowboys.

Oh, Larry likes the Cowboys.

There we go.

Larry, Cowboys.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

It is French Montana.

Yes, sir.

You know him.

You love him.

You've heard all his music.

Full disclosure, we're actually very good friends with him.

We went to dinner with him last night. It's very random.
But two days in a row. What are you doing tomorrow? Oh, he's got a phone call.
No, that's fine. That's for tomorrow.
Oh, that's the alarm. You've got to put it in the calendar.
Yeah, so what are we going to do tomorrow? Get some wings, maybe? Best friends. I like wings on a Friday.
You like wings? City Island. City Island? Okay.
Get some crab legs?

Yeah. Crab legs.

I don't think you want to eat the crab legs on City

Island, do you? Oh, yeah. What?

No? Yes? City Island

is the best seafood we've ever gone have in your life. Best crab

legs in the city. What?

For real? You serious? I know

one guy who we work with is from

City Island. He always says it's kind of

you know, once you stay

on City Island, you're there for life kind of thing.

So I don't know. Because one way in, one way out.

Right. So you just hang out there forever.
I mean, if you

live anywhere, you're going to hate it, right?

Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Alright,

so thank you for coming in. You've been doing the car wash

today. We're trying to make this fun.

Maybe ask some questions you haven't been asked.

So I'm going to start with, because we're big

animal guys. You have a lot of pets.
You have a lot of exotic animals. A lot of exotic.
I have them. What would you say an exotic, I mean, what do you have right now? My favorite animal I have right now.
And I would hate to separate them because they're all my babies. That's right.
They probably all listen to the show, but that's okay.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

They're going to be a little heartbroken.

Probably, um...

This snow leopard is going to be like, what the fuck?

No, probably my Tibetan mastiff.

Hell yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Those Tibetan mastiffs, they're the ones that have, like, the mane almost around them, right?

Yeah.

I got an English mastiff.

Does your dog break news, too? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah.
Yeah. They tend to sometimes yeah yeah they tend to do that it's a breed thing wait do you have snakes no okay thank god snake people are weird i don't know how yeah i don't know how you can have a snake yeah so what do you have right now you have dogs uh monkey well i have a monkey okay his name is julius caesar that's a great name for a great name for a monkey i have um a german shepherd okay i had them since i was young yeah um it's bad and massive and that's about it do you find that with the monkey it needs to have like a lot of mental stimulation or else it gets bored yeah um i mean when i'm on the road and i'm working like this, I always keep him with his father in Vegas.
Okay.

So he got, you know, he set out.

Yeah.

Traveling with a monkey, I feel like that would be pretty tough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how Justin Bieber got got.

First of all, I don't agree with traveling even with dogs.

I like that.

I agree with that.

Yeah.

So when Julius Caesar sees his dad, does he like run up and give him a big hug?

Yeah, I mean, you know, if you Google one of the videos, you can see. One thing see one thing i love about them they know real love they always you know every time he's seeing me even if i don't see him for three months off tour he just you know he just remember thank you thank you thank you we just got a shitload of popeyes brought in for us that's awesome who was a popeye yeah i would love some action take this and and maybe open up the bag and pass out.
They got little dishes too. Yeah, bust it open.
I know you don't have the tigers anymore, but the caption you put on that picture of you with the tigers was amazing. Got so high last night, bought two baby tigers.
Yeah. It was just really a case of you being so high that you're like, it would kick ass if I had some Tigers.
Man, I feel like we was in Miami and it was just, you know, we're celebrating my album. Then we were shooting a video of me in the weekend the day after.
And we just, you know, we were celebrating. Then the next day they really brought like two cubs, you know what I'm saying? Just like test me.
But I looked at them, I just busted out laughing,

me and Chinks, rest in peace.

Yeah.

It was a real special moment.

I would love to get so high and have that kind of money

where it's like, I got Tiger purchasing wealth.

No, but they really like got them for me.

But when I found out I had to feed them for every four hours,

I said, I can't even feed myself for every two hours. Yeah, we just got had to remember to feed ourselves you remember yeah right i didn't remember um thank you jake all right so i read this quote this is kind of a serious question because i'm curious about this i read a quote where you said uh when you're trying to make it on the street in the music scene it can happen overnight but when you're in the music business it's a lot longer of a haul, a lot more patience.
What's the, I mean, you've done both. You made it, you know, on the street and then in the music business.
What's the difference between those two and, like, the climb to the top? Well, I feel like when you make it, you know, in the streets, I feel like, I think they go hand in hand. Because you got to know your business and you got to know the streets.
Like a lot of people think you just rap. A lot of people think just because, you know, you can rap good and this and that, you're going to be good in the game.
I think personally, rapping is like 20% of it. And it doesn't

mean that you don't have the 100% potential

and experience and

lyrics and, you know,

do what you do. But I feel like people

forget about the business side.

People forget about what comes with it.

You know, in the streets, at least, if you're

hustling, all you gotta worry about is robbers

and people trying to, you know,

finagle you. But in the

game, lawyers,

fake managers, fake finagle you.

But in the game, lawyers, fake managers, fake business managers, fake road managers. There's so many titles.
Right. By the time the money gets to you, you're in the negative.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is there a way that you've kind of figured out how to weed people out, how to know who you can trust? I feel like

you know

no one

like no one

who you can trust

is not something you can just be like, yo, I can trust him. He looked like I can trust him.
It's something you need experience. Like you went to dinner with someone last night, now you trust them.
Yeah. Of course for life.
Like our energy right now is better than every other interview I had. You know why? Because me and you had dinner last night.
Yes. We laid the ground up.
So that goes with the game. Yes.
You know what I'm saying? The more time you spend around somebody, the more you're going to trust them. Because guess what? The only people you ain't going to trust is the people that show you the true colors, right? Right.
Right. And we had dinner last night.
And you said something at dinner that made me pause. And I actually tell me if this is wrong to even ask.
But you just casually were like, yeah, I got shot in the head. You just said that.
And the guy sitting next to me at dinner was like, did he just say he got shot in the head? I was like, yeah, he got shot in the head. That had to suck.
That has been a chicken wing. Yeah, yeah.
That had to suck, man. Like, I don't know what else you can say about that but that sucks that's a tough deal man look it's like where you want to get shot head's the worst you know life works you know i mean funny sometimes yeah you'd be around the wrong people in the wrong things and things just come you know i feel like god blessed me to be here and it showed me that you're never in control of your life.
You don't have to get shot in your head. You can walk outside right now and get hit by a car.
I feel like sometimes you can look at your life like what if I don't have no tomorrow? Yeah, yeah. I wish I had the video of that guy.
Would you make the same decisions if you didn't have them all probably and i i imagine that as as bad as that was to go through it did give you a new perspective on the other end of it where it's like things are different you know every day is a gift every decision you make is a little bit different like i i would imagine that in in your position it gave perspective. Of course.
I'm just sure you're not controlling your life. You're not controlling your life at all.
And on top of it, it's a great conversation thing. You can just drop it at a random dinner and just be like, I got shot in the head.
And everyone's like, what? No, me and Hassan was having a conversation. You just happened to turn around.
Well, the guy next to me was like, what did he just say? I was like, yeah. Yeah, no, no.
You just happened to turn around and just heard that. But, you know, things happen to people, you know.
I'm just happy to overcome that obstacle, that hurdle, and become French Montana. Sometimes you damn near got to lose your life to become who you want to be.
Yeah, so French Montana, the name, obviously French, your background, your upbringing, and then Montana, is that from Scarface? I mean, they used to call me Bonjour when I first moved to the Bronx. Okay, not as hard as French Montana.
No, first it was young French. It was Bonjour, then young young French.
I mean, Montana came when I just started. I had no choice.
I couldn't go to college. I had no paperwork.
I came from Africa. Couldn't get a job.
Couldn't do nothing. So it was like when I started hustling and becoming who I am, it was like Montana.
French Montana. That's a pretty awesome name.
We actually have a guy in the office who came up through the battle rap scene, and he was telling me that you did a lot of battle rap stuff back in the day. What's the most devastating line that you've ever dropped on somebody in a battle rap? You know too much.
Good question. Yeah? Good question.
You know too much. And i want to apologize i saw um i said a line like um in order to watch um crazy in the face like jason kid baby oh okay yeah that's a good one that was yeah i want to apologize all right so there we go we apologize are you wait are you apologizing to the person or to jason to everyone.
Everyone gets an apology. He's one of my favorite players.
Yeah, yeah. No, that's, I mean, but that's also like, that's in between the white lines of the battle rapping.
Like, you're going to have to say something. But you know, in the battle rap, when you stay in front of somebody, like, they just say whatever to you.
So Jason Kidd, he wasn't in front of me, but it's like, that's how we go through it. Like, I get hit with 30 minutes of that.
Your mother this. It so happens.
I apologize as a kid. Is there anything that's considered to be over the line during a battle rap that you don't touch? Nothing.
All for a game. If you were to battle rap Hank right now, what would you say? That's Hank right there.
Don't rattle the wrong cage. Oh, watch it.

Watch it, Hank.

That's not good.

What would you say?

To Hank?

I care for you very deeply, and you do a great job on the show.

Yeah.

Boom.

Roasted.

Wait, wait.

I'm not done yet.

Knot.

Yeah.

Oh, nice.

See?

That's pretty...

Does anybody ever drop a knot during a battle round?

You just run out of shit, and you're like, I'm just going to be nice, and then just drop

the knot at the end.

Just have everyone go crazy.

That would be good.

Thank you. ever drop a knot during a battle round? You just run out of shit and you're like, I'm just going to be nice and then just drop the knot at the end.
Just have everyone go crazy. That would be good.
It could be a good battle round. Yeah, watch out.
The knot guy. Do you think Cardi B would like me? You know what, though? When 20,000 is on the table, I don't think you would say knot.
You don't think? You think I'd shrink under the bright lights? Yeah, it's a lot of money. Yeah, Knott's a tough one.
I mean, coming up is a lot of money. Yeah, for sure.
Because you're standing right there, face-to-face like this. Y'all just going at it.
What would you tell him? Knott? Yeah, I think I'd just hit Hank with the Knott. Yeah.
What would you say? I'd say, Hank, you're really good looking. I care about your fantasy team.

I want your hairlines.

Just kidding.

I want your outbounds.

Yeah, yeah.

What about a psych?

Yeah.

Psych would be good.

Yeah, yeah.

Just a psych on him.

Not.

Yeah.

And maybe do like a try to cross him up with an invisible basketball and hope he's like,

oh.

Breaks his ankles.

Fuck yes.

Got you, dude.

Because I can't speak.

So I got you. That would be good, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely going to win.
When Max B gets out of jail, are the Coke boys getting back together? They never left. Okay.
Was it Coke like? I mean, we just dropped the Coke boys. What does that mean? What is Coke? Is it like the drink? Look, I know y'all doing an interview.
I'm not going to let the chicken get cold. I'm not going to let you do that.
So look, Coke boys, we just dropped that on Mixtape. Okay.
When is he getting out of jail? Any day. I mean, that's got to be like a nice, that'll be a nice reunion when he does finally get out of jail.
You're acting too bougie, man. Eat some chicken.
Shout out Max B. I'm on a diet.
I'm too fat, so I've been trying to lose weight. It's good.
It's bad, man. Are you still a big soccer fan? Yeah.
What team do you root for? Morado. Okay.
Any other, like, EPL? I was kind of mad they lost, but, I mean, you know, I used to be a big fan. Maradona.
Yeah. Coke Boys.
Yeah. I mean, Ronaldo, Bajo, like, a of people, Romario.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Ronaldinho.
I mean, Maradona is like the original Coke boy, right? He stuck that in. Yeah.
I mean, he is, right? There's actually like a documentary coming out about him that I'm pumped for. Mm-hmm.
Because he, yeah. I mean, I think he still is a Coke boy.
I actually got a chance to meet him. You know, that was, like, one of my biggest moments of my life.
And I used to really, like, watch it, like, faithfully. So definitely.
I mean, for him to be, like, that's a rock star, right? Yeah. To the music.
Absolutely. He used to, like, score and, like, Tupac was spitting the camera.
Yeah. Yeah.
I love that crossover, too, because I feel like that's an old thing. That's how they found cocaine one time.
He spit in the camera. What do you mean?

They swiped it.

He spit on a camera and they took his saliva and they tested it.

His saliva had coke in it?

Damn.

I'm like, for the body.

Drug guy.

Is that what they told him?

Or is that what happened?

People can put the vibe in your vibe to find out the vibe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The vibe can find the vibe.

The vibe and the vibe.

What was he like?

You swab the vibe.

Yeah.

You swab that vibe right out here.

Thank you. and your vibe to find out the vibe.
Yeah. Yeah.
The vibe could find the vibe. There's all the vibe and the vibe.
What was he like? You swab the vibe. Yeah.
You swab that vibe right out of here. That's why I don't do any of the genetic testing.
But how legendary was he though? Very. The most legendary.
Who was your favorite soccer player? I mean, Maradona's always been my number one. Freddie Dew's pretty good.
He was really dope. Tim Howard.
Who was the one that killed? Because he scored. Oh, Escobar.
Yeah. It was Escobar for Columbia.
Scored the own goal against the U.S. It's U.S.A., yeah.
That was fucked up. That never happened in basketball history, right? Well, Jason Williams killed his bodyguard, I think.
So that was kind of fucked up. Nah, that was home invasion.
Yeah, it was self-defense. That was in the courthouse.
That was kind of fucked up. That was in the basketball court.
That was in the courthouse. Yeah, that's true.
So no one, I think, to my knowledge, has lost a game and had that happen on basketball. Who's your favorite basketball player? Ever? Yeah.
It's all right. Don't say LeBron.
No I mean LeBron I feel like He's okay I feel like I'm gonna love him more When he's not playing Yep Same with how Michael Jordan is I feel like right now It's just You know It's too much in your face It's just sad to say it The same thing with rappers Like Tupac People love him more when he's not here. And I feel like, you know, Michael Jordan, definitely one of them.
I feel like Clyde Drexler, Vince Carter is my favorite dunker. Like, I love everybody for something different.
Right. You're right, though.
You, like, love the guys afterwards. You don't appreciate them in the moment.
One of my favorite players was Steve Francis. Yeah.
Franchise. Baron Davis.
Yep. We've had him on the show.
Yeah, great scorer. I used to love, like, not the guys that practice the fundamentals and go in there and, like, bounce, bounce, pass.
Not a Delhi fan? Don't like Matthew? I was never, like, a John Stockton and Carl Malone fan like that. I was, like, I was more of, yeah, AI.
Even AI wasn't as like a Steve Francis, I felt like. Steve Francis kind of built on what AI started a little bit.
He brought the nasty crossovers in the league. Definitely.
And then Francis kind of built off of it. Also, he had the nickname The Franchise.
You can't be better than that. I mean, the answer is pretty cool, too.
The answer is cool, but the franchise, I mean, that's... I'm going to imagine something.
Who you enjoyed more, Reggie Miller or Steph Curry? Steph Curry. Steph Curry, yeah.
Very close. Reggie was annoying.
Reggie was good because he beat the Knicks. Are you familiar? No, no, no.
No. Why? No, he was annoying.
I don't care about the Knicks. He was annoying.
No, the Bulls always beat Reggie Miller. I just think he's annoying, and he's more annoying on broadcast.
That's right. He's actually the opposite of what you're saying, where we appreciate guys afterwards.
Reggie Miller, I start hating him even more now. He just won't stop talking.
I'm just like, shut up. I'm going to go back to the question I asked earlier.
Do you think Cardi B would like me? Of course. Yeah, okay.
That's good enough for me. But it depends if, you know what I'm saying, like, if she wasn't with my brother, you know what I'm saying? Right.
No, I mean as a friend, just like me and her being friends, just buddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello, you got to stand up for what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Be careful. We'll be scared.
No, just like platonically. Nah, shout out to Cardi B, B man We got a big single coming out tonight Oh nice Shout out Cardi B Alright well this has been awesome man Thank you man I appreciate you coming by We got to figure out what we're doing tomorrow Make it three days in a row Yeah I don't know if you want to Come over to your house Let me strip club Or the hustlers club Okay we'll go Strip club Yeah I'm more than Legs.
We'll just hang out at the Strip Club. There'll be some Crab Legs at the Hustlers Club.

There you go.

Two birds, one stone.

So you got a buffet there?

Yeah.

Okay.

A whole buffet.

Yeah.

There's nothing like a Strip Club buffet.

Yeah, Strip Club buffet.

That's where you get the real stuff.

Five girls from five different countries.

That's the real buffet.

You got to go to Tampa Bay.

They have like steakhouses in the Strip Club.

What?

In Tampa, yeah. Tampa's like an open air.
You don't want that smell Where the girls right there It's like crazy Keep the food separate Right Yeah Right I've run into that problem All the time Especially to be Naked women around my food Yes Absolutely Alright well thank you man Appreciate it We really appreciate you Coming by Good luck with everything Thanks man Yeah That interview Yeah. Coke boy, baby.
Shut up to Max B.

That interview with French Montana was brought to you by Quip,

and I think we're going to get another Larry's Picks during this ad read.

Is that right, Hank?

Okay.

What does that mean?

That sounded like a cat.

Panthers?

Lions?

Bengals?

Oh, my.

Colts?

What are the cats? Raiders? Not a cat. What cat team am I not thinking of? It's a big cat.
Jaguars. What the fuck, Jake? Thanks, Jake.
Yeah, thanks, Jake. Appreciate it.
Very cool, Jake. And this ad read not only featured Larry, but it also featured Quip toothbrushes.

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It's a simple... And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on two-time All-Star. He is from the Houston Astros.
It is Alex Bregman getting ready for the MLB playoffs. Alex, before we talk about baseball, I wanted to at least kind of bridge the gap here with our talk about LSU.

You're a Coach O guy.

We're Coach O guys.

What do you love about Coach O the most?

Well, he's just a good – he's a good dude, first off,

just getting that talk to him a little bit, getting to be around him.

But it seems like the players love playing for him, man.

And, I mean, Joe Burrow is shredding this year. We got a quarterback for the first time in a while.
We might put up 50 points against Bama in Tuscaloosa. Whoa, okay.
All right. Take it easy.
LSU, by the way, has not scored a touchdown against Alabama in the last two years. And we're LSU.
We love Coach O. We love LSU.
But let's go for a touchdown before we go for 50-burger. If we pass the 50-yard line, we're putting up 50.
I don't want to blame you entirely for all this, but you were the guest picker on game day when it was Alabama LSU last year. And that was a tough game to watch.
We were there for that one. Oh, it was brutal.
What do you want me to go in there and say hey we're gonna squeak out a tight one 10-7 no I'm gonna get the people going I'm gonna get the people fired up we're gonna win 42 to 10 no no I thought that you didn't say that they were gonna win by enough that's that's what my problem was you weren't cocky enough on that it didn't really work out the way we want to go no definitely not um all right so you have the baseball playoffs coming up obviously the astros are are you i think you guys might be the odds on favorite unbelievable regular season historic regular season great pitching staff do you guys feel any of that extra pressure now i mean you won two years ago so now you guys are coming in here and being like everyone expecting you to win is there a different vibe going into this postseason than there were two years ago when you were kind of climbing that mountain? I think there is. I think there's a little bit different vibe.
I think we have a different team as well. But, I mean, first off, I think we've got, like you said, a great pitching staff that's veteran that's been around that's pitched in the postseason.
And I think that's going to help with those expectations. I think we have a lot of expectations.
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be great. But, I mean, we love it.
We think pressure is a privilege, and we want to go out there and prove to the world that they're right and that we are the best team in the world. It's interesting that you're talking about, you know, the experience helping year because in football we always say in the postseason the game speeds up a little bit more.
At least as a fan, it seems like in baseball everything slows down a little bit. Like every decision is more calculated.
There's more tension. Is that how it feels or does it feel like it's sped up to you? I think everything slows down and the games are like five hours and you're, and you're locked in on every single person's at bat here.
I'm when Correa's up, I'm my legs are shaking in the dugout, hoping, hoping they throw him a ball or hoping that he gets a hit or hoping that he finds a way to help us win a game. And I think everybody being locked into every single pitch during the post season, the fans on their feet, pitch, I think it just magnifies everything.
It kind of slows it down, but at the same time it speeds it up. If you let it affect how you play, it speeds up on you in a hurry.
So one of my favorite things about baseball is all of the superstitions that guys have. What is your biggest superstition and what's the weirdest one on the team i think my superstition i have a lot i mean i have a lot of little things that i do the same i try and do the same every day i put my my sliding shorts on the same way my socks on the right one first left one second the arm sleeve on and i go get my tape then i put on the like It's just so routine-based.
I don't know if it's really superstition.

But... the arm sleeve on and I go get my tape and I put on the, like, it's just, it's so routine-based.

I don't know if it's really superstition.

But,

I don't know.

I think Reddick might have the weirdest one with him putting on

a Spider-Man

jumpsuit on under his uniform

for every game.

That's interesting. Okay.
So he wears a full

Spider-Man costume? Oh yeah, he's wearing like a Spider-Man Halloween costume. What? That's weird.
Under his uni every day. Trying to think what else.
I mean. It's like a kid going to sleep in his Superman pajamas every night.
Does Verlander have anything weird? I would imagine Verlander's a pretty intense dude when his day is called and he's up on the rubber. Does he have any weird superstitions that he goes through? Verlander on his start day puts on headphones and everyone in the clubhouse doesn't want to talk.
He doesn't talk to anybody and we don't want to talk to him either. We just let him stay in his zone we i don't think he uh i don't think he knows uh anything besides his routine on his start day he doesn't he doesn't talk he doesn't talk to anybody he just goes knows about his business keeps his headphones on and uh we just we just decide that we're we'll talk to him the other uh the other four days in between starts yeah that's exactly how I imagined it to go.

What about you? When you step up to the plate

in between pitches, do you have a routine

that you do where you unstrap each

glove in the same order, hit yourself on

the left elbow twice, grab your jockstrap,

that sort of thing? No.

I guess walking to the plate, I

kind of slap my bat

on my back the

same way every

time I walk up to the plate and then I dig into the box the same way, kind of tap my bat on my cleats a few times, and then I don't really have anything mid-at-bat that I do, but before the bat, I like to do it the same every time. One of our favorite things to ask baseball players is we're obsessed with unwritten rules.

What's your favorite unwritten rule?

I like all of them, honestly. I kind of like the way that the game has always policed itself.

I think that if you do some stupid stuff on the field,

either you or one of your teammates is going to get a hit for how you react and i kind of like that i kind of like all that those rules have you had a moment where you knew going up to the plate that you were most likely going to get hit like it was like okay this is this game has gone this way i'm the guy who's about to get get uh get one in the ear hole um no i haven't um in the big leagues i haven't um thought i was gonna get hit um there have been a few times in summer ball when i was playing summer ball in uh high school that i figured i'd get thrown at and i did but um i haven't really had that happen in the big leagues i think i've been thrown at but um I don't think I was expecting it.

You ever charge the mound?

No, no, no.

I haven't.

Do you have a plan in place?

Like just in case somebody throws one high and tight, you're like,

okay, I'm going to run out there, I'm going to take my helmet off first,

throw it, then follow it up with a left hook.

I feel like there's only one way to do it.

You either go and get them or you don't.

You either walk to first base and you go all the way out there and get them.

I'm not a fan of the old go talk a lot of mess to each other

and then carry on with your day.

I like you to either go get them or we move on with the game.

Yeah, like doing the thing where you walk out of the batter's box

towards the pitcher's mound 10 feet and wait for the catcher to grab you and then walk to first base. That's kind of a cop-out.
Yeah. I mean, they're all in or all out.
What's your relationship? I just go down to first base. What's your relationship like with Joe West? I like Joe West.
I think he has one of the best strike zones in the big leagues. Behind the plate, like statistically, I think he has one of the best strike zones in the big leagues by far.
I like Joe a lot. I think he does a good job.
I love that, buttering him up. That's actually a very smart move.
You want to talk about how great his country album is, too? I haven't actually listened to it, but I heard he's pretty good at golf. He's got a great neck.
Yeah. He's a handsome boy.
Good looking dude. Yeah.
Do you have a favorite umpire? I think I would have to go with maybe Hunter. Hunter's my guy.
Either Hunter. Allen's a good dude.
There's a lot of – their job is so hard. They get it tough.
And I say this and I'll get like a butthurt like I did last year about a call. But, no, their job is really tough.
And I'm close with a lot of them. I get to shoot the shit with them all the time.
I noticed that you were talking about Joe West's strike zone. You spend a lot of time actually breaking down where each umpire's strike zone is before each game? We actually have that, yeah.
We actually have where the guys are more likely to call pitches. Who's got a really thick strike zone, like a really wide one? I'm not sure off the top of my head.
I think the thing that we have is a chart that basically shows us which side of the plate they go off the plate more on. So if they like calling the pitch down and away more than the pitch up and in, we know that there might be a few inches off the plate down and away that we're going to get called tonight.
So speaking of that – Our pitchers know that too, so they try and go and expand down there. So speaking of that, the Astros are like one of the most analytically inclined organizations.
How much – are there guys just telling you day, like, hey, here's what your approach should be? Like, how much hands-on, like, data are you being given day to day? Or are they kind of just giving you a little something and saying go and play? Like, what's the balance there? I think what they have done is they've acquired a bunch of smart baseball players, guys that are baseball players that also want to be students of the game and learn the game and want to continue to improve. And the guys in that clubhouse use the analytics that they give us.
We use the different tools that we have to improve. And I think every single day we're gaining – we have information on the guy that we're facing that's going to help us be successful in the game.
And I really think that what they've done a great job of is not taking out the full baseball element out of the game. They know that they have a lot of information analytically, but they also know that we're baseball players and we're winners.
And if you have winning baseball players in your team that are using that analytics to get better, that's what you get. You get a World Series champion, chip caliber team.
Interesting. What fascinates me is you were playing with one of the greatest baseball guys of the last 25 years, Brian McCann, who is notorious for being an old school guy.
We're talking about unwritten rules. He wrote the unwritten rule book by not writing it.
That guy, he loves – in the past, he had been one of the first guys to, like, criticize home run celebrations. But you somehow, you were like Freddie Prinze Jr.
and She's All That. You turned him, you took his glasses off and let his hair down, and you were like, hey, Brian, you're going to be cool and do team celebrations with us now.
How did you manage to turn him from, like, one of those, like, unwritten rule guys into let's have some fun guys?

So for me, BMAC was never like, first off,

Brian is one of my best friends in the whole world

and we'll be best friends forever.

That's due to the fact that we won a World Series together,

but we also became really close just because we kind of go about, we kind of feel about the game of baseball in the same way. I don't think Brian's necessarily an unwritten rule guy.
He doesn't like people hitting bat flipping and hitting homers. He just likes – he just wants – he doesn't want the rookie who comes up and is one for 36 like I was to bat flip a homer.
He wants you to do something first and impact a baseball game before you start acting like that. I think me and him feel the same way about a lot of stuff, but I don't necessarily know if he's like a guy that's like, oh, don't bat flip, don't talk shit.
He's the best in the clubhouse, the funniest dude. He basically just has a whole team on the floor laughing every single day.
He's the best. So you're never shy to stir it up on Twitter.
You were called, like, baseball's new supervillain last year. Do you think you guys are going to get any primetime games in the first round this year? I think we got a night game, the second game.
Oh, nice. Interesting.
Against whoever we play. But you know what? I decided this year, you know what? I'm not going to cause that much trouble on social media.
No Instagram stories for you? I've stayed off of it. Okay.
I got a lot of trash talking to me about the Instagram story. Two for three with two doubles that day.
Interesting. Wait, you're gonna stay out of it on twitter but what if trevor bauer starts chirping at you again no no no um uh yeah i won't i won't be uh i won't be responding anymore okay i mean that's it i can't i can't i can't i mean at this point, it's just like, we can't talk about it anymore.
Yeah, also, like, defeating Trevor Bauer in a battle of wits, it doesn't really look impressive even if you do that, you know? Like, it's not exactly a tough conquest. Yeah, I mean, you're exactly right.
I don't want to say anything because I'll quote it on Twitter and it'll turn into a whole giant other fiasco. Yeah.
But, yeah, honestly, I'm just – who knows? Who knows what might happen if we win? Something crazy might happen. I like that, teasing a little bit.
I looked it up. It's not.
You guys

aren't odds on. You're plus 200 to win

the World Series. But you

are odds on to win the American

League at minus 150.

Going into games, are you aware of

what the run total is

for the gamblers at home that are watching?

Maybe like us?

No, I don't think we have a

single clue. I don't think anybody in our clubhouse has any idea, to be honest.

That's a smart answer.

We're trying to put up as much as we possibly can every single day.

And our pitchers are trying to put up zero.

Interesting.

Okay.

I had one last question, so I'm always curious about this.

When teams get in the playoffs, obviously you have the celebrations after every single series win. Is there a moment when you win like maybe the first series when you win the DS and you guys are all partying and you're like, hey, wait, this is kind of weird.
We haven't really won anything yet. Like, how does that work? How quickly does the party turn into like, oh shit, we actually have to go back to work tomorrow versus maybe winning the CS in the World Series when the party can go a little longer? No, I think I think you're right.
I think we think about that every year. It's like, hey, we haven't even we haven't we haven't accomplished what we want to accomplish yet.
But I feel like I just feel like it's bad karma if you don't if you don't celebrate each round. I mean, instead of jump around on the field, we can go through a handshake line and just act like we were supposed to do it like we were.
But at the end of the day, we don't want that karma. We want to celebrate each one because it's hard to win a big league baseball game.
It's funny because I remember that about you when you guys did win the World Series. You were one of the guys that was going on to Mike and Mike and the morning shows and stuff like that early the next day.

You were doing a media tour, weren't you?

Yep.

That's got to suck.

People don't talk about that, but for an athlete that just won a world championship, you're probably up late partying, having a good time.

You've got to be halfway drunk or at least extremely hungover doing those shows, and you have to pretend like you're not. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. We didn't sleep that night after the World Series.
We got straight onto the plane at 10 a.m. the next morning, came back at the parade and then went out again.
So I hope to be doing some more of that this year. Oh, yes.
Okay. That sounds awesome.
I wish I could win a world championship in something just so I'd have an excuse to get drunk for three days nonstop. Yeah.
It sounds pretty cool. You know what? You could.
Throw on a – you can this year. You can.
And throw on some blue and orange. Come down to Minute Maid Park.
And you know what? Cheer for the Stros. You won a world championship.
There you go. Okay, Alex Gregman is guaranteeing a World Series, and he's also telling me that I can get drunk for three days nonstop.
Damn. I'm sold.
I'm an Astros. You guys are my American League team.
I'm guaranteeing that you can get drunk for three days nonstop. Yeah.
Okay, that's a great fucking deal. Oh, I had one last question.
No, what was it? No, two years ago when you guys were in the world series against the

dodgers and you had that crazy game that i can't remember how many runs were scored did you guys stop at any point like in the in the dugout and been like yo this is fucking nuts uh we were down for nothing and we all met up behind the mound and we're like you know what we're not supposed to win this game they got kershaw on the mound and we're down 4-0. Let's just have fun playing the game.
And we put up 13 runs and won 10 innings. It was the best game of all time.
Love that. Yeah, that game was unbelievable.
I was drunk on Bourbon Street during that game, and I kept looking up at the TV, and I thought I was hallucinating all the runs. It was crazy.
Thank you for that. It was insane.
It was insane.

All right.

Well, Alex, thank you so much. Appreciate you joining us.
Best of luck. You guaranteed a World Series championship in Houston.
So let's see if you – Yeah. And you guaranteed that I'm allowed to get drunk for three days.
That's the most important part. Yeah.
Actually, why don't you just – All right. For soundbite purposes, can you just say I guarantee a World Series championship? I will uh i'll tell you i'll tell you that on uh on october uh 30th you're gonna guarantee it's not gonna go seven games so you i think that's game we gotta go do it yes so you're gonna win in five i don't know okay we gotta go do it i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna say anything i just wanna go I just want to go play the game and go win game one first.
Okay, that's fair enough. All right, Alex, best of luck, man.
Appreciate it, and we'll talk to you later. Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it. All right.
Thanks, man. Go Tigers.
That interview with Alex was brought to you by Movement. Let me ask you guys something.
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Saints go marching. I love it.
Larry took the Saints. Damn, that's good.
That's a good fucking trumpet, dude. It is.
Let's just jam out to this real quick. That's a good-ass trumpet.
Nothing is... I would say...
A badass saxophone is pretty sweet, too. Yeah, but a saxophone implies too much sex.
Sometimes you're not in the mood for it. Oh, sorry.
I guess you're not a big foreigner fan? Because that saxophone is so low and urgent. I'm just saying, when a saxophone comes out, you have to fuck.
A trumpet, you could just be having a good time at a bar. That's why Bill Clinton played the saxophone.
Right, exactly. Because he was like, I whipped some pretty lady is going to put her lips.
We've reached our accent limit. Going to be putting her lips all over my willy.
The trumpet is just like a good time. Saxophone, it's the implication of sex.
I also like the trombone when they take it out and they start doing the wah, wah, wah with the trombone. Yeah.
That's putting the trumpet and the trombone and do that on there. That's a great sound.
It's pretty badass.

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in slash pardon shop movement eye scroll blue light filtering glasses protect your eyes look great doing it go to movement that's mvmt.com slash pardon mvmt.com slash pardon okay and larry's going to do another pick on sunday yes on sunday during barstool sports advisors yes tune in tune into that word on the street is a little bird told me info scores is coming back oh nice nice might even drop on friday on youtube you got to subscribe okay uh let's do some segments first up we got our fire fest hank you alluded to it we got to tell we have a half to have we have to have a talk yeah this is like kind of a pre-fire fest but i'm just i'm i'm concerned uh last week i basically bet every single money line underdog i think i did the week before. Moneyline.
Underdog Moneyline. I look at the board.
I'm like, wow, I like a lot of these underdogs. And I say, fuck it.
Let's just go Moneyline. It worked out really well for me last week.
And I'm very concerned because I know it's probably not going to work out as well. But I love 11 Moneyline underdogs.
11? 11. And I think, as we were talking about it, the only ones I didn't like were the Chiefs and the Patriots, but I think I like the Colts now, too.
Okay, so you like the Colts over the Chiefs. What about the Eagles and the Jets? You like the Jets? Wouldn't shock me.
What if Sam Darnold dies, though? They'd be playing for him. Oh, great point.
That's true. I almost like him better if he dies.
You are addicted to the rush of a money line. And it's an addiction that I think most people have gone through.
And the only way you get out of it is you're just going to have to have a disastrous Sunday. I think it kicks ass.
Yeah, but I'm secretly envious of Hank being able to do this. But there will be a Sunday where it will all blow up.
It's probably going to be this one because I talked about it so much,

and I've convinced so many people in the office that it's a winning strategy that they're probably going to follow me this weekend, and it's going to be bad.

I mean, I just took you tonight on this Rams money line, on the alternate money line.

Correct.

So I'm kind of diving into this, too, with you.

But I don't think I can be a money line guy.

Money line, you have to have a walk.

You have to have a strut if you're a money line guy.

Well, you also have to be able to, you also have to be the guy who everyone's going to hate

Thank you. But I don't think I can be a Moneyline guy.
You have to have a walk. You have to have a strut if you're a Moneyline guy.
Well, you also have to be the guy who everyone's going to hate at some point

because you walk into the room and you're like, oh, I got Moneyline.

And everyone's like, what the fuck?

And it's like plus 280.

You just need anything that I say.

No, plus 280 is like, that was awesome.

I was rooting for you.

Yeah, but sometimes when I was like.

I was rooting for you.

But is it not when you walk in the room and you're like, oh, I have plus 280

and everyone's sweating it out?

That's a Moneyline guy.

It's also a major case of one upsmanship. If I'm betting on a game.
Right. And my bets winning.
Right. And you're like, yeah, my bets went to, but I had the money.
So you have to prepare for that. So relax, Hank.
You just got to prepare for that. We should get also last week.
You got confusing because you're like, I took every money line. And they're like, but I didn't take this money didn't take this money line this money line this money line this money so it's a pre-fire fest because it hasn't cost you money yet how many games my fire fest that i thought i was gonna like i was like i'll just do it this weekend i'll probably stop but it like i literally could not i was like all right i'm just gonna pick them as like the points but i couldn't do it how many how many need to hit for you to make a profit this weekend uh it depends on which ones yeah Yeah.
I mean, if he just hits the Colts, he could probably make a profit. If he hits the Colts and the Jets, that's the thing with the Moneyline guys.
He could go 2-9 and make a profit. If you hit the R-words, too.
I'm not doing the R-words. Raiders, Broncos will be good.
If the R-words win, I was going to say I'll come in here. Winner.
Winner. Stillers.
Winner. Yeah.
Winner. All right, PFT, what's your Firefest? And Falcons.
My Firefest of the week is that there's no football early on Sunday. Yeah.
Because it's the London game, and they usually give us football at 9 a.m., and it's the day that I don't get out of bed until 4 o'clock in the afternoon. After the witching hours all the way over, you wake up in the morning.
It gives you a little bit of a taste of West Coast life. Fall fall back asleep for a little bit it's as close as i'll ever get to living on the west coast watching football right is just waking up hungover on sunday morning watching that 9 a.m game in london where the grass is always a little bit greener the uh i don't know have you noticed that the yard markers they seem to be far a little bit farther apart yes and like not as confidently confidently drawn? Right.
There's always just these little, yeah, there's a little bit of a wetness. There's the grass is greener.
It's just something's a little off. Yeah.
And I agree with you because you could do the wake up, take a nap in the second quarter, and it's still only like 1030. It's usually the Jaguars over there getting played early.
Blake Bortles was always a treat to watch over in London. That's fucking sad.
He's definitely not waking up for this on West Coast. What do you do for this game if it was early and you're on the West Coast? You wake up at 6.30 a.m.? Yeah, if you're a Verge.
If you're a Chad, you don't go to sleep. You stay up.
You rage. Speaking of weird, crooked little lines, you're blasting them so you can stay up to watch this game.
It's it sucks though not having fire or not having football early on sunday because this you know this is the one time of year where i got to wake up and football's already on and they're taking that away from me i don't like it i don't like it nfl and you know what's going to happen what the british fans are going to get so drunk before the game that it's going to turn into one of those things where every kickoff they start cheering at the top of their lungs like super loud yes yes absolutely what we that's the most exciting part of a football game for a drunk british fan is either a punt that goes really high and gets a fair catch or a kickoff right and also just the random fans that all the jerseys and the weird people that you dress up like animals and everything like that it's a football in London. It's great.
I would like to hear just some random Brit doing commentary on these games that doesn't understand the game of football. Like that guy who did the, what was it? The rugby player who was on the 49ers.
Yeah. And one of the rugby writers in Australia wrote about it.
It was like, what is going on in this? Can we get a simulation of what that guy sounded like watching the game, Hank? Oy. There you go.
Okay, my Fyre Fest, I got two. The first is watching Yadier Molina play off baseball.
It's the worst. He gets all pumped up.
I just hate him. I think Major League Baseball should make him wear two of those ear flaps so that you don't see his neck tattoo.
Yes, I'd agree. I'd agree is just too much and then my other fire fest is Cincinnati the uh Twitter account they tweeted out that they were dying their field black for Friday night's game I've never been more excited to bet on a team turns out they were just kind of like joking but it wasn't really a joke that's not a good joke getting everyone excited about it that's not a good joke at all it's a terrible joke i was so pumped to watch cincinnati on an all-black field on a friday night they were going to win by a billion are you kidding me yes you can't do that a verified twitter account that that's a very believable joke yes i i would it's not a joke that's not a prank no you can't tweet it from the main the the literal the verified cincinnati Twitter account, Cincinnati Football football tweeted a picture of it.
That's not a joke. That's absolutely disgusting.
That's like going up to someone and punching him in the face and being like, just a joke. I'm sick just hearing about it.
That's awful because I thought it was real too. And the field that they mocked up with the eyes on it.
Unbelievable. God damn it, Cincinnati.
It was going to be awesome to watch on friday night okay pox on you cincinnati you're probably never going to win a national title in football or basketball that would get so hot though in the in the september outdoor like the the day games in cincinnati with the blackfields gonna be sick playing on a tar pit you could you could call it the tar pit what the fuck damn ucla should do that little bray La Breaa tar pits. Yeah, where all the dinosaurs are.
It's crazy all the dinosaurs died in that one tar pit. Yeah, that's because they didn't actually exist, and that was just a very convenient place to put all the bones next to Los Angeles so people could take a day trip and be like, oh, yeah, dinosaurs did exist.
Here are their bones. Yeah, here's the tar pit.
I'm very, very woke on that. Okay, so let's wrap up with a couple segments of FAQs.
First up, we have a PR 101 for Louisville. So Louisville, Louisville, is slowly bringing back the national title team that was vacated.
Rick Pitino still has the tattoo. But what was it, Luke Hancock? Yes.
Got his most outstanding player award back. It was retroactively recognized.
So they're slowly doing it. So he's won two of them, I guess.
Right. But they said, so technically this counts as winning again for the first time.
I don't know. All I know is that I now remember that happening again.
And yesterday I didn't remember it. And you remember that Rick Pitino has a tattoo of the championship.
He absolutely does. Which is awesome.
Which should be, they should laser that off until they put the banner back up. Yeah, just think about that for a second.
Rick Pitino has a tattoo of a vacated championship. That is the most Rick Pitino thing that could possibly happen.
Outside of coming on his leg. Well, yeah, that's absolutely number one on that.
Don't make those jokes. What would it take to re-recognize the championship in Louisville? Maybe get rid of the teeth on the birds.
Erase the teeth on the Louisville Cardinal. Make Papa John sit in a dunk tank of the garlic butter for seven hours.
And then all the former players get to go up and throw the ball at them. Make Papa John sit in a dunk tank that's just a huge fryer because it's the Yum Center.
It's the Yum Center, and we literally fry Papa John to death. To a crisp.
To a crisp. Or just hand him the liner notes to a Tupac album and say, Papa John, read all of these without using the N-word.
If you can make it all the way through, then that's never good. That's like Sisyphus pushing the ball up the hill.
He can't do that. Either way, we're happy that Louisville's back.
He gets to Brenda had a baby and just gets crushed again. Scott, that's the one.
They always get me on that one. They always get me.
All right. Bad visual for the Ravens.
The Ravens. So Marlon Humphrey choked Odell Beckham on Sunday.
Very clearly. Then the Ravens tweeted out, there's been a lot of talk about the play between Marlon Humphrey and Odell Beckham Jr.
Close-up video shows exactly what happened in that Humphrey didn't choke him and then they showed the close-up video and it couldn't be more clear that he choked he had two hands he had full possession made a football move with two feet on the ground it would have counted as a catch if Odell Beckham's larynx was a football. Incredible.
So I don't know what the Ravens are thinking. I don't know what they're doing, but I actually kind of like this, you know, just say what's, because a lot of people just read the captions now.
So if you just say that and you hope that half the audience will not click on the link, boom, you've changed the mind of half of America. that's actually a great point because nobody clicks on no one absolutely not so if you say it i think you probably did dupe most of america but for eagle eye journalists like us who at hand up i didn't actually watch the video either but i saw screenshots from browns fans kept on screenshot and replying so we we actually went one step further and didn't watch the video but are commenting on the people that didn't watch the video that got it wrong.
But we're actually getting it right. Right.
So good for us. Yeah.
Way to go. We were talking about this on Wednesday.
How just because it's the Ravens defense doesn't mean it's the same Ravens defense. Yes.
Attempted murder is very much on brand for the old Ravens defense. They're trying to bring back the old Ravens defense.
So that's good for them. That's swag.
Ray Lewis would be like, it was actually my teammate that did it. It wasn't me.
Yes. And I'm going to trade jerseys with this guy after the game.
Yeah, real quick. Real quick.
All right, Hank, you want to end with a couple FAQs here? How about some woes? Oh, yeah. Good.
Woes. The Florida Panthers.
Is time real or is it a ploy to sell watches, calendars, and clocks? Ooh, time was just invented by women to make you think that you don't last long enough at sex. There it is.
That's the answer. Also, how about Big Ben the clock? Still in the scaffolding.
Yeah, I know. He's been injured for a very long time.
It sucks. Very long time.
It sucks. His hands are also immobilized.
Yes. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? Oh, I would say you have to be over 80.
To die of old age, over 80. I don't know.
I don't know. I think that's a sliding scale.
Like, it depends on what your profession is. No, but old.
If you're a blogger and you turn 30 and just die at your computer. That's what you're saying, yeah, yeah.
That's old age. Yeah, I think once you pass 80, you can't expect anyone to be sad about your death.
Mm-hmm. That's kind of like, that actually is the nice zone.
And then when you get 90, so 80 to 90, no one's sad about your death. 90 to 100, 90 plus, you get to make jokes about the person's death right away.
Yeah, absolutely. Because then it's funny.
And when you turn 96, then it's just a race against time to get to 100. Right.
And then once the clock strikes 100, at that point, you should just let go. You're being selfish if you live past 100.
Right. Yeah, you're kind of trying to show everyone up.
When I turn 100, if I'm not dead yet, just shoot me up with a huge batch of heroin.

Okay.

Deal.

And just let me fade off into the wild blue yonder with a smile on my face.

Done.

When boiling noodles and eggs, why do noodles get soft and eggs get hard?

Oh, that's a good question.

That's a really good question. Whoa.
well okay whoa whoa i don't know why an egg gets hard because that's it starts out as a liquid yeah and then usually when things get cold but you can also freeze an egg probably and it would get eggs go both ways yeah is the sky blue because of the reflection of the ocean or is the ocean blue because of a reflection of the sky where does the blue come

from they're both reflections of the los angeles chargers best uniforms i'm blue

that's god putting on his powder blues on a nice sunday afternoon

would you rather actually the ocean's probably just blue because of fish piss

i think that's just the color that is the ocean even blue like sometimes it's blue sometimes black

I'm going to go back. would you rather actually the ocean's probably just blue because of fish piss i think that's just the color that is the ocean even blue like sometimes it's blue sometimes black sometimes it's green did adam and eve have belly buttons whoa yeah i think so because belly buttons are cool i think no i don't think so because they would have a belly button is through like birth they were just boop they're there so you're saying god doesn't have a belly button right eve's who's eve so what did god get and abel is that eve's kids yeah yeah they had belly buttons but eve didn't god didn't right because it the first birth i actually i know they don't they don't have belly i they did.
No. I think they did because if.
I just can't imagine a person without a belly button. Right.
That's my problem that I'm going through right now. Yeah, they didn't.
What else are you going to get the Philadelphia Fanatics mouth tattooed around? They didn't. That didn't happen until Cain and Abel.
Then they did that. One of them got a horse, a horse's ass, and the other got the Philly Fanatic.
One of them got the cat that's looking backwards over its tail? Yes. Did you know that you can only fold a piece of paper a maximum of seven times by hand? I did know that.
And there's like a saltine thing, too. Wait.
It's like ten saltines or something? I think it's seven saltines. Leroy beat the saltine challenge, though, when he was younger.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
One, two. By the way, Leroy's coming into the office tomorrow.
He's getting eye surgery. Three, four.
He's not getting eye surgery in the office. But all you listeners out there, if you're in the office tomorrow, say hello to Leroy.
You're just rolling it. Nine.
I just folded this nine times. All right, last one.
How do you spell the sound of a sniff how do you spell that p-o-r-t-n-o-y no it's it's like a s-p-h-h-h-h-h no so p-s-h-h-h H H No that's not right either It's F

Yeah it's just

A lot of F

F and maybe an H or two

F H F H F H

I don't know that's a really good question

I'm going to have to think about this for the weekend

I love you guys

I love you guys so much

I'm also in love with you

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Love you.

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I'm also in love with you.

All. Thank you.
Take me out. Take on me Take on Take on Take on Needless to stay I'm all set in But I'll be so Let I wait Something that I find Please okay Say after me Life's better to be safe than sorry Say after me Life's better to be safe than sorry Things Say it's me.
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Things that you say,

every little I thought could display my worries away.

You're all the things I've got to remember.

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Love coming for you to what you like.

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You've been shy and awake.

Drink on me.

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You're welcome. Love coming for you in many lives.
Take on me. Take on me.
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