French Montana, Alex Bregman, TNF + Week 5 Preview And Picks

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a twofer for the people.

Speaker 1 Probably the craziest combo you could come up with, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I'd say it's definitely up in terms of randomness. French Montana and Alex Bregman.
As random as it gets there. We talked to Alex Bregman about the start of playoff baseball.

Speaker 1 We talked to French Montana about,

Speaker 1 I don't even remember, but it was awesome. He was cool.
He liked us. Yeah, we had chicken delivered in the middle of the interview.
Yep. He started eating, and it was a great time.
So we have that.

Speaker 1 We have NFL previews, some picks, my money line parlay that cannot lose,

Speaker 1 and then some woes and our Fire Fest. When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 1 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time. At participating, McDonald's.
Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No paper, and I love washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to E-Lay, Shake Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna ride down to Elite. Shake.
Part of my take. Presented by Bar.

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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, October 4th, and the 12th man is back. It was loud in Seattle tonight.
Was it? It was loud. We talk about that a lot out there.
It was very loud.

Speaker 1 There were a lot of costly delay of game penalties, but everyone's talking about the refs. Let's talk about the refs.
Why? I want to jump right into that.

Speaker 1 That call on Clay Matthews hitting Russell Wilson. First of all, you should be allowed to hit Russell Wilson in the head because of the nano bubbles.
Just concussion water.

Speaker 1 He's immune to head-to-head hits. That's very clearly shoulder-to-shoulder on him.
That's a reputation call. And also, it helps being short.

Speaker 1 Big come up for us 5, 10 and a half guys because your head is right there at a normal person's shoulder level. Yeah, but it's a reputation call.
For Clay Matthews, that's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's noted dirty players.

Speaker 1 No, but he got it last year. I know.
He landed on Kirk Cousins too.

Speaker 1 He didn't apologize. Right, right.
Which actually, in retrospect, like,

Speaker 1 we should have been thanking him for landing on Kirk Cousins. The Vikings should have been thanking him and asked him to do it more often.
Pitting some sense into him.

Speaker 1 All right, so the game, we're on a streak, boys. Two for two.

Speaker 1 Two in a row. Great Thursday night football games.
That was a great game. Even if you want to talk about the refs, which is fine, it was exciting.
It was thrilling. It was back and forth.

Speaker 1 It looked like the Seahawks were going to have an all-time choke job with the, hey, let's run

Speaker 1 like Oklahoma State's offense and try to pitch the ball on third and two when Carson is running for four and a half yards a carry. They got cute with it.

Speaker 1 At the end of the game, they also had the end of the first half where they missed a field goal and let the Rams score a touchdown, which felt like a momentum swing, but the whole game was momentum swings, and it was awesome.

Speaker 1 It was great. And it was Pete Carroll was in rare form tonight.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you noticed this new thing that Pete Carroll does, but when he's strutting up and down the sidelines, you know, chopping on that gum, he's doing a thing where he just stares down at the ground in front of him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like he's so focused, he doesn't care what's going on.
He just needs to know the situation.

Speaker 1 He'll call the playoff that. He's not looking at the field, not looking at his guys.
He's just looking at the blade of grass in front of him. He's just, yeah, he has it all right there.

Speaker 1 He's just locked in. I also

Speaker 1 noticed something tonight about the Seattle crowd, which was very, very loud. I actually think that Greg Zerline missed because it was so loud.
The sound waves? Yes. Now,

Speaker 1 what if a stadium told fans on one side, just on the left side of the stadium, you guys all blow out at the same time? You guys all fart on the left side of the field. All the way.

Speaker 1 Would there be enough air to push a field goal? Yes.

Speaker 1 As a physicist, let's try it in Cincinnati. Feed only one half of the stadium.

Speaker 1 There's not going to be more than 10,000 people. No, there'll be some people there.
Shout out to Cincinnati for maybe going to the game when the Bengals are horrific. But

Speaker 1 the Seattle crowd leads the league, I think, 10 years running, in fans wearing receiver gloves.

Speaker 1 Every time they show the crowd, there's at least four or five fans clapping in receiver gloves, and there is some special place in heaven for the NFL fan that shows up to a game in receivers' gloves in the small chance they get some TV time and they can put them together and it makes the logo.

Speaker 1 They also have a cool thing. They also have a lot of fans that are dressed up with like a mask on, like a bird mask or full face paint that aren't sitting in the lower rows.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about like the upper decks. There's a guy that's wearing like a full Eagle costume.
That has no chance of being on TV. That has never even seen a television before.
He doesn't own a house.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have electricity. He lives in a tent next to I-5 and he goes to the games every Sunday during the season wearing a full falcon on his face.
Right. And I love that.

Speaker 1 I do love the Seattle crowd. It's loud.
I know they pump in the crowd noise there. That's a fact.
We've confirmed that with boots on the ground. But I say Seattle should be allowed to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree. I agree.
They should definitely be allowed to pump in the noise. I have a question for you, PFT.
I have an answer. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is a narrative thing that's going to get going, a pre-narrative.

Speaker 1 Has the NFL caught up with Sean McVay?

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
I think the correct way to approach this narrative is: did Bill Belichick break Sean McVay's brain? Okay, we're not doing Do Your Pod.

Speaker 1 The books, right now, there's a blueprint out there. This is Copycat League, okay? And the Seattle defense held the Rams to 29 points.
The week before, the Bucs held them to 40 points.

Speaker 1 The defenses have caught up to Sean McVay's brain.

Speaker 1 All right, so in a weird way, I think there's a little bit of panic for the Rams and how they've played their last two games, but this game to me, short week, division opponent on the road, you lose by one.

Speaker 1 It's not obviously, you never want to lose, but I feel like it was a nice answer from what happened on Sunday against the Bucs. And they got a few games coming up.

Speaker 1 They have the 49ers at home at the Falcons and the Bengals at home. They should win all three of those.
Yeah, it's not time to push the panic button in LA. The panic button is across the road.

Speaker 1 The panic button is up in Marina Del Rey, and right now you're on the 410 and you're down in Temecula. So

Speaker 1 it's rush hour. You're not getting it's rush hour, so you're not getting to that panic button for a long time.
I do think that it's absurd that Sean McVay ever misses on a challenge.

Speaker 1 And he had a really bad one. Yes.
He had a really bad one in the end zone. I think it was Woods, right? Yep.
It was Woods, and he clearly didn't get his knee down, didn't get his feet down.

Speaker 1 If you have photographic memory like Sean McVay,

Speaker 1 your eyes should just be able to glaze over

Speaker 1 like a pre-cog and just access that memory in your head and know, nope, we're not throwing that flag.

Speaker 1 The only other thing I had on this game, and I joked about it at the start, but it does feel like the Seahawks have that mojo back. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They have changed over their entire defense from Bobby Wagner still there, but most of their defense has changed over from the Super Bowl team. But it feels like they've retooled.

Speaker 1 They lose Doug Baldwin. Tyler Lockett is the new Doug Baldwin.
This fucking guy, Misley, is

Speaker 1 Disley.

Speaker 1 Insane. Yeah, Disley is insane.

Speaker 1 Luke Wilson caught a ball. Well, Luke Wilson's got the boys on a two-game winning streak.
Luke Wilson's got the boys on a two-game winning streak. DK Metcalf is awesome.
So, yeah, the Seahawks feel.

Speaker 1 Chris Carson is really, really good, as first reported by us. I mean, look how many guys we're naming on the Seahawks.
They're clearly good. That's right.

Speaker 1 I think if you sat me down right now, I think we just got

Speaker 1 easily to 11. Ziggy Anson players like right off the bat.
Javion Clowney. Boom.
Done. He's recovering fumbles on his own.

Speaker 1 He's making his own team fumble balls that they picked up after he forced a fumble on the other team. Yes.
Which he is playing like a maniac.

Speaker 1 The jerseys tonight, some were saying candy ass. No.
I say no. They're the color of a poison arrow frog.
You know not to go near him as a human being. Those,

Speaker 1 yeah, at home, they're awesome. They're like visual.
They're visual ASMR. Yeah.
They give my eyes goosebumps. It also is like.

Speaker 1 I know it's not the same. I know it's not the same states, but like I always just think, you know, Pacific Northwest, the Seahawks, the Oregon Ducks, they can just wear weird uniforms.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Like, when you get up to that corner of the country, you're a weird uniform corner. Oh, yeah, Michigan State.
Michigan State, can they wear it? No, no, no, they're not in a weird uniform corner.

Speaker 3 But we have those type of uniforms. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But those are stupid. What about Baylor? Baylor is different.
Baylor's like Baylor's entire brand is we're going to wear the highlighter uniforms. Correct.
So they're the Oregon of the South.

Speaker 1 In Michigan, it's like your exotic color in Michigan should be gray.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Maybe a light gray.
Yeah, a neon gray up in Michigan. And that's the best that you get.
Like the field at Eastern Minnesota. Eastern Michigan.
Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's the swaggiest that it should get up. Which looks like Pleasantville.
When you watch an Eastern Michigan game, it really plays some tricks with your eyes. It does.

Speaker 1 It's like Schindler's List when there's that one girl that's wearing the red. Yeah.
That's all. Or Pleasantville, where the whole movie is.
That's a much nicer way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a much nicer way to put it. We don't have to talk about it.

Speaker 1 I have a note about Troy Aikman real quick. Yes.

Speaker 1 He's concussed. He's concussed permanently.
He uses the term. When he talks about Jared Goff, he calls him Jared Goff.
I kind of like that. All the time.
A little shot at Tony Romo, maybe on that.

Speaker 1 I kind of like that though. Also, if you take a shot every time he says heck of a during a game, you're going to end up sounding like Al Michaels by the end of it because you will be fucking hammered.

Speaker 1 Well, in Troy is getting a little bit older, and this happens to broadcasters. It feels like their dialect just gets, you know, gets shrinks as the years go along.
I mean,

Speaker 1 we all remember Phil Sims at the end, like it was four words. Yeah.
So, and I, I'm not, I'm not saying he, I like Troy and Joe. I think that's a great booth, but it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 It happens to all of us. Like, that's why I only talk about Jesus and Hitler.
Right. My vocabulary has shrunk so much.

Speaker 3 Did you hear what he said about Cooper Cup's dad?

Speaker 1 Oh, he shamed him, right? Uh-huh. He said he doesn't remember.

Speaker 4 dad.

Speaker 4 He was there for, I don't know, maybe two cups of coffee.

Speaker 1 It wasn't very long.

Speaker 1 That's perfect. He's perfect.
He definitely owes Craig cups of money off like a card game. And he's like, oh, I don't, I don't even remember that guy.
That guy? No, that's a different crap.

Speaker 1 I've never heard of that guy before.

Speaker 1 We should quickly, before we get to the preview of the NFL weekend, talk a little playoff baseball.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, PFT is an 84. Full.
The Nats. Full.
Let's talk

Speaker 1 about playoff baseball. Tommy Lasorda is still alive.
Yep. the Dodgers are a wagon.
We knew they were a wagon.

Speaker 1 The Nats, the game ended in the seventh or whatever it was when they put in Fernando Rodney because that is the human,

Speaker 1 you know, what's the opposite of the human victory cigar? It's just a white flag. Yeah, just a white flag.

Speaker 1 Just throwing the towel in when you put Fernando Rodney, and I cannot believe he's still in MLB. But yeah, the Dodgers are awesome, and they still have Clayton Kershaw tomorrow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, that could be expensive because we got playoff Kershaw tomorrow. That's why I'm not worried about it.

Speaker 1 Game one, as Nate pointed out, the Capitals lost lost every game one that they played on their way to winning a Stanley Cup. So that means nothing

Speaker 1 for this. No, that means how many five-game series did they play? You know what that means? It can be done.
Yeah. It can be done.
Not giving up hope just yet. Fernando Rodney.
He did look awesome.

Speaker 1 He has the highest quotient of looking cool to being shitty of nearly any player. If your team brings Fernando Rodney out

Speaker 1 that my team has before,

Speaker 1 it doesn't look awesome because you're like, well,

Speaker 1 this is over. That's fine.
We got Kershaw going on the bump tomorrow. We're good.
We're excited about it. Don't let us win that one.
Don't let us get hot. Yeah.
And then in the other game,

Speaker 1 I have a bad feeling that the fucking Cardinals are just going to do this shit all October long. Do what? Win?

Speaker 1 And just do it in stupid ways and just like come back. You sound angry.
No, I'm not angry. I'm more just like, I know, I know.
I've seen this. I've seen this before.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 no, I'm not going to say what I was going to say. Go ahead.
Go off.

Speaker 1 Well, there's the whole thing that, you know, the Cubs won in 2016, but then Cardinals fans, if they somehow pull off a World Series this year, they'll be like, hey, the Cardinals won one in the Cubs quote-unquote window.

Speaker 1 And then I'll just kill myself.

Speaker 1 Their fans deserve it, though. Shut up.
This is still your window? No, the window closed. Well, no, yeah, the window's open.

Speaker 1 As long as Javi Baez and Chris Bryan are on the team and Anthony Rizzo, the window's open.

Speaker 1 I just don't want St. Louis to have two championships at the same time.
That's all. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't think any city.

Speaker 1 That's Boston shit. Yep.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine if St. Louis turned into the middle? I don't even think about that.
I've blacked out the blue.

Speaker 1 If St. Louis turned into the Boston of the Midwest, no,

Speaker 1 I'll quit the pot. I'll quit also of sports media.
If they win like four out of the next six championships, title down, bro.

Speaker 3 The Rams win this shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice, Hank. Way to bring us back.
Good job, Hank. There we go.
Okay, let's do our weekend preview.

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Weekend preview. Boys, we have a

Speaker 1 big-time loser-leaves town game. Okay, I've got one too.
Is it the same one?

Speaker 1 Would you say it at the same time? You'll say the away team first. Okay.
Three,

Speaker 1 two,

Speaker 1 one. Houston.
Bills. Nope.
Okay. Houston's home.
So you just

Speaker 1 already broke that. It's the Falcons.
Okay, so I'll explain mine. You explain yours.
Bills Titans is my loser-leaves town game because if you want to

Speaker 1 flash forward three months from now,

Speaker 1 think about it. PFT, you're sitting on the couch.
It's late December, and you're watching a Saturday night game. That sounds amazing.
And it says AFC playoff picture.

Speaker 1 And teams six and seven are the Buffalo Bills and the Tennessee Titans. And whoever wins this game is going to have the tiebreaker.

Speaker 1 And I think this could be the game that eventually decides who gets that wild card spot. Okay.
I don't actually hate that that much because

Speaker 1 it makes a lot of sense. It does.
And Josh Allen is back this week? Maybe.

Speaker 1 Word on the street is he's back. Oh, is this another source? No, I'm just saying.
Yeah, the source is my own brain. Okay.
I don't think there's anything.

Speaker 1 He's going to be made a roster move to activate.

Speaker 1 Ready for this? Yeah. Davis Webb.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I like Davis Webb, and I would like to see him get in the game. He'd be the backup.
On what

Speaker 1 world do you have Davis Webb? He's on their practice squad, so he would be the backup to Matt Barkley if Josh Allen cannot go. Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 I do like that pick because we don't know which team is better. We don't know which Titans are going to show up.

Speaker 1 If we're going to get the Reba McIntyre Titans or if we're going to get the Luke Bryan Titans. They also are two teams that are just...
Pretty much the same thing, just looking at each other.

Speaker 1 Good defense, and the offense could show up or it could not show up. And we could have a 10-7 game or we could have a 44-17 game.
Yep. Who knows? Okay, my loser leaves town was Atlanta and Houston.

Speaker 1 But Atlanta's our

Speaker 1 losers. Well, we've been threatening to kick both those teams out for a long time now.

Speaker 1 They're both losers. Now it's a question of will they leave town where their parents, they're sitting down in the basement playing their Nintendo games all day long.

Speaker 1 They should have a pinky swear together. Get a job at halftime.
Get a job, guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pinky swear to each other. No, at halftime, they should pass the proverbial pinky knife

Speaker 1 from the Texans to the Falcons. Pass the cigar cutter.
Yeah, like, here you go. It's yours now.
I like that because we have been enabling both those teams and not kicking them out. Correct.

Speaker 1 It's like they're addicts and we're allowing them to stay using their drugs, which are actually just shitty footballs in our basement for way too long.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I think whoever loses that game probably won't make the playoffs. Okay, so, what do you have to say? Are we sure they're a good game? Yeah.
Green Bay and Dallas. Yes.

Speaker 1 I actually have this on my card. I think the Packers might be in trouble because if you look at the Packers defense, the Packers defense that was much lauded at the beginning of the season

Speaker 1 has regressed run defense-wise every single week. That's hard to do, to get worse every single week.

Speaker 1 So their run defense is a major red flag. And Dallas, if Dallas runs the ball, they are basically world champions.

Speaker 1 They're the best team in the league when they can run the ball because they do everything off of it. So I think the Packers might be in trouble.

Speaker 1 It's also wishful thinking, but I do like that as are we sure they're good? Because if the Packers win this game, then we're going to go away saying, wow, this is one of the best NFC teams.

Speaker 1 If the Cowboys win this game, they will get one of the best NFC team tags. We're also guaranteed to get some skip Bayless takes out of this game because this is the rematch

Speaker 1 of the Mason crossbar. In fact, just yesterday, he tweeted out: Aaron Rodgers sure has been lucky versus Dallas in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 The Des catch game and the Mason crossbar game, in which he made game-saving field goals from 56 yards sliced and 51 hooked that looked like they had no chance off his foot. He's not mad.

Speaker 1 He's not still thinking about that. He's not mad.

Speaker 1 We also did a disservice to everyone by not mentioning this at the top of the weekend preview. The 10 games at 1 o'clock and the two games at 4 o'clock is a crime against humanity.

Speaker 1 I think we can all agree on that. What are the late games today? It's

Speaker 1 the Broncos, Chargers, and the Packers, Cowboys.

Speaker 1 It is a crime against against humanity.

Speaker 1 And if you are a gambling person, which I assume you are because you have a pulse and you're listening to this podcast and you have a heart in your chest and a brain in your head,

Speaker 1 you need to walk very carefully on Sunday because there is nothing worse, nothing worse than laying an egg at the one o'clock games and having nothing to win your money back later in the day.

Speaker 1 You will have very few opportunities.

Speaker 1 You don't want to be the guy, and I've been this guy who gets stuck on Sunday night football, having to bet first quarter, first half, you know, full game, money line, over, under, like all the bets just to try to recoup it all.

Speaker 1 This is why we need to throw a random Pac-12 basketball game in there in October. This is a threat-level midnight.
Be careful.

Speaker 1 I would say it's like having an office party at Busters this Sunday, which would be awesome, right? You're having a great time.

Speaker 1 You're maybe winning some tickets, some cash prizes on the mini basketball. You're getting drunk as the day goes on, having a blast.

Speaker 1 You're looking for who you're going to take home at the end of the day, right?

Speaker 1 And you're having so much fun playing their mini games that everyone leaves, and all that's left is the person from accounting that's been hitting on you all year, and you're not a big fan of theirs, and you're like, I guess I just got to go for it.

Speaker 1 And then you end up getting them pregnant. That's what you're in danger of doing this Sunday if you fall behind early.
So

Speaker 1 you don't want to be pregnant with the Chiefs-Colts game. No, do not.
You don't want to do that. Unless you're taking the over, which I love in that game.
Well, of course, because, I mean.

Speaker 1 You have to.

Speaker 1 They're daring you.

Speaker 1 You won't take the over. They are daring you to take that over.
56. Okay, let's do some picks.

Speaker 1 Let's start with our. Let's start with our over.
Hank.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 1 Do it.

Speaker 3 My over is going to be in

Speaker 3 the Cardinals. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Cardinals Bengals. Gross.

Speaker 3 Falcons, Texans.

Speaker 1 The Birdcatchers. Okay, Falcons, Texans.
Interesting. Okay.
Weird. Yep.
All right. Pussy, what's your over? My over is going to be the Chiefs and the Colts game.
56 points.

Speaker 1 Verge. Verge.

Speaker 1 That's not a Verge. That's a big time verge.
That's a big chad move. Are you kidding me? 56 points.
This is

Speaker 1 gut check weekend for me because not only am I doing that over, the big over, I'm also going to do the big under when we get around to it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I've been thinking about this a lot because we've had some stinky Sunday night games. Big under.

Speaker 1 Betting the over on a Sunday night night game is like a double bet. Because if the under hits, you lose, and if the under hits, it also sucks.
Yes,

Speaker 1 and if the over hits, it's an awesome game. Right, it's a double bet.

Speaker 1 But you can know it's a triple bet because then you get Al Michaels trying to sneak in the word over into something that he says at the end of the game.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to take the Packers Cowboys over 47 for my comments earlier about the Packers run defense.

Speaker 1 I think the Cowboys are going to be able to put up a lot of points, and then Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers will show up just to stick it to Skip Bayless. Just to

Speaker 1 stick it it to him. Do you think Ernestine knows who Mason Crossbar is? She probably just thinks that his name is Mason Crossbar.

Speaker 1 He probably screams out his name in sex sometimes. She's probably like, isn't that crazy that he's a kicker and his name's Mason Crossbar? That's kind of weird, son.
That's nuts.

Speaker 1 It's like Homer Bailey. Shout out Homer Bailey.
Big-time dick baller.

Speaker 1 Hank, you're under? Under.

Speaker 3 My under is going to be in the Baz Raiders.

Speaker 1 The big under. Nice.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Baz Raiders. Yeah.
Big under being played over in Bears Raiders. Australia, Great Britain.

Speaker 3 Bloody Bears and the Raiders.

Speaker 1 They're traveling across seas, and they both kind of stink. We got a big time.

Speaker 3 Just like my English accent.

Speaker 1 By the way, this

Speaker 1 Bears Raiders game, we got a big time how do you do your London travel debate?

Speaker 1 Because the Raiders, the famous how do you do your London travel debate that everyone loves to talk about, the Raiders left straight from Indianapolis to London. They did.

Speaker 1 The Bears didn't go till Thursday.

Speaker 1 I lean the Bears way because I feel like that's a really the Raiders essentially left for Indianapolis on Friday and they have not been home since.

Speaker 1 And if you, once you get to like day five, six of not being in your own bed, that's when you're just like, fuck this, I just want to go home.

Speaker 3 I feel like, but if you're in a different country, it's a little different.

Speaker 1 It's a little mini vacation. I feel like Sean Gruner is not the kind of guy that would ever pack seven days' worth of clothes to do anything.

Speaker 1 He doesn't think that far in advance. He's wearing juices, you know, like muscle teas.

Speaker 1 yeah he's gonna he's gonna wake up in london on a saturday morning with no clothes and go out and get dressed in like peaky blinders suspenders he's gonna have to buy new clothes he'd look like a newsboy hat suspenders the trousers that get bagged up around the knees yep he'd look good

Speaker 1 hank your favorite my favorite i'm going to pick the patriots yeah okay yeah because we knew that we knew by the way first half line on that is going to be like nine and a half i don't know how that loses i already put it in they don't know how that loses the redskins don't even know who's going to play quarterback for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. And this isn't like Jay Gruden saying, like trying to beat Bill Belichick and saying, I don't know.
We don't really have a plan on who's going to start quarterback.

Speaker 1 He literally doesn't know who his quarterback's going to be on Thursday. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 He himself doesn't know. I have a theory about that, by the way.

Speaker 1 I think I was wrong last weekend when I said that Dan Snyder smashed his red emergency phone that he uses to administer shocks to his coaches if they don't play the players that he likes.

Speaker 1 I actually think it was Jay Gruden saying, fuck you, to Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen, who want him to play Dwayne Haskins.

Speaker 1 He put Dwayne Haskins in knowing he was going to fuck up just to be like, see, I told you he wasn't ready.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't buy that. I think he just.
No, no, I think that's exactly what happened.

Speaker 1 I think Jay Gruden has a sour enough relationship with the front office where he's like, I'm going to put this guy in and perhaps ruin his confidence for the rest of his rookie year just to make a point to my shithead owner.

Speaker 1 Or counterpoint, he might just suck. That could happen.
Or it could be both. Yes.
Actually, I would submit that, yes, he does suck because he did something like that. Right, right.

Speaker 1 Okay, so your favorite PFT. My favorite.
Did I say my under already?

Speaker 1 I already said I'm taking the big under, and it's going to be. Oh, wait, are we on unders? We didn't do it under.
I did my under. No, you guys gave it your undas.
No, Hank did it.

Speaker 1 The big under guy when I was saying,

Speaker 1 I'm an idiot. Okay.
My under is going to be books. You're doing the

Speaker 1 big under.

Speaker 1 No, it's going to be fucking fucking Buffalo, Tennessee. Okay.

Speaker 1 38 and a half. Why are you talking in an accent?

Speaker 1 Because Hank spoke an accent.

Speaker 1 But that was a London colour. But I got incredibly jealous hearing Hank get to use a fake voice while I was sitting on the sidelines with my child in my hand, right?

Speaker 1 You can't let someone else do a fake voice. No, it can't.
It can't be happening. Okay.
All right, so your under is the Bills, Titans. I'm going to go with the Bucks Saints.

Speaker 1 Kind of ballsy because it feels like there should be points in the dome, but I don't think Teddy Bridgewater can throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. So I like that under.

Speaker 1 If James Winston wore two gloves, he probably wouldn't get caught for all the crimes that he does. True.
You have the Patriots. PFT, what's your favorite? My favorite's going to be the Pats.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you also have the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Do y'all jaw, baby?

Speaker 1 I am going to take.

Speaker 1 I want Hank accent to be like a thing during this segment from now on. I'm going to take Houston minus five.
We don't need that.

Speaker 1 What? The Hank accent. Oh, I like it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take Houston minus five. Hank Kellyindo.
Round us out with your

Speaker 1 underdog, Hank.

Speaker 1 He's trying to think of which accent to take. Cut, cut, cut.
This is taking forever. Packers.
Packers? Jeez, Big Cat. Plus three and a half? Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, the Nats game's about to start.

Speaker 3 It's a Chad move. Or no, it's a Verge move.

Speaker 1 It's a Verge pick, I think. To take the Packers? What is that?

Speaker 3 I feel like it's a sucker pick.

Speaker 1 I don't hate that pick. Plus three and a half.
That feels like they have to have that game close. It's the only fucking game on.

Speaker 3 Also, we'll talk about in the Firefest, but I like every single underdog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we will talk. We need to have an intervention.
All right, PFT, you're underdog. I'm taking Pittsburgh, plus three and a half at home.
Okay, I like that.

Speaker 1 Those two teams don't like each other. Actually, that was mine.
I mean, the Ravens. Yeah, I like that a lot.
Throughout the record books. Mason Rudolph, maybe not that bad.

Speaker 1 Maybe his head isn't too big. Who knows?

Speaker 1 We will find out. I do think the Ravens are severely overrated.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 Say if they've done a major come back to Earth for the last couple weeks.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't it be so classic for the Ravens to have all this hype, for the Browns to have all this hype, for Big Ben to get hurt, and then the Steelers to win the North. To still win it, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 That's so going to happen. All right, so that was brought to you by Bet MGM.

Speaker 1 If you're a new user, place your first bet of $1 or more on my can't-lose parlay, but you got to make sure to use bonus code PMT when you sign up to get $100. If I hit one leg, you get that.
So

Speaker 1 the can't-lose parlay is Bears, Eagles, Patriots, Chiefs cannot lose. And Big Larry's also on the Stillers.
Okay. Larry's on the Steelers, okay.
Stillers. All right.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do fantasy fuck boys. Before we get to our two interviews, we have French Montana and Alex Bregman coming up.
Hank, why don't you start us off? What's up, boys?

Speaker 1 It's Mario Montadala. My stardom is foliage.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Orange, yellow. Bring them all down.
Fuck the green. Go yellow.
Go red.

Speaker 3 Go orange. It's the season.

Speaker 1 Let's get it. Yes.

Speaker 1 Crunchy leaves.

Speaker 3 My sit him is the joker or just jokers.

Speaker 1 Fucking hate jokers. You don't take life seriously.
What are you doing? Yeah, that's right, Federers a goat. You better not be talking about Novak.

Speaker 3 And my sleeper is TikTok.

Speaker 1 Yeah? Not the app, but the song by Ketcha.

Speaker 1 Absolute banger. Yeah, it is.
TikTok, TikTok. Dango from London.
Decision Transport five years ago.

Speaker 1 Still stands. Still bangs.
Yeah, there we go. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Do a little dry hump into some catcher.

Speaker 1 Yo, what's up? My name is Marty Mussolini. This weekend, I'm starting liking or not liking a comic book movie, one or the other.
We heard

Speaker 1 old Hanky Accents over there talking about the Joker. I think if you like the Joker, you're an info.

Speaker 1 If you write a 2,000-word blog post on why you didn't like it, you're definitely having a lot of sex. So that's cool.
I love people's opinions about comic movies. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me hear it. I'm sitting apologies.
No apologizing for real men out there. Kirk Cuxon, do you hear me? You're apologizing at a cheap rate of $9 million per word, you little cuck fuck.

Speaker 1 If you apologize for something, you're getting into a fight with your former brain. Kicking your own ass out of Kirk Cousins, you piece of shit.
Yeah, fuck you, Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 My sleeper, I'm sleeping Sam Donald this weekend. That's right.
Sammy dimes because he might, just might get killed if he plays. He said he doesn't want to die.
Well, I got news for you, buddy.

Speaker 1 You're the Jets quarterback. You should absolutely want to die.
At least show that you've got a little bit in common with your fan base, you sick fuck. Mano Imano.
Nice.

Speaker 1 My name is Nunzio Campanelli, and I, that was my sitem. My sitem is Sam Donald.
If you don't want to die playing football, you should never play football in your entire life.

Speaker 1 Get off the field, you sick fuck. Coach O just knocked out another tooth, and you're talking about dying.
Loser. I would love to die on a football field.
My sardom, dead mascots.

Speaker 1 Aurora, the Falcon, dead. 23 years.
Air Force, put your lungs on it. Put your house on it.
Put your kids' house on it. Take out a credit card.
Put it in your kid's name. Get the debt going.

Speaker 1 Put it on that too. Rip Aurora.
They're going to play for Aurora. That Falcon got God's done, James.
My sleeper, Rutgers Football. Yeah, I said Nunzio Campanelli.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm the head coach of Rutgers Football. How the hell can Rutgers football fail with a head coach named Nunzio Campanelli? That's fucking real.

Speaker 1 Oh, Nunzio's in our living room and he brought the gravy.

Speaker 1 Hey, you're a a five-star? You want to come to Rutgers and be a man?

Speaker 1 That's actually his name. Nunzio Campanelli.

Speaker 1 He's a good fuck. The minute I saw it, I was like, oh, fantasy fuck boys got a job.
So shout out to him. Yeah, Sam Darnold's saying that he doesn't want to die, dude.

Speaker 1 Join the club, man. You got mono.

Speaker 1 His spleen, though. You got mono.
The thing about the overgrown spleen is why don't they just take it out? You don't need a spleen, right? Dude, Chris Sims doesn't have a spleen.

Speaker 1 All that happened to him is he just became a germaphobe. When was the last time you woke up and you were like, my spleen feels great today? My spleen.

Speaker 1 I have always had a large spleen. It's just always being got a lot of guts.
It's very big. Just like Sam.
Large, large fucking spleen.

Speaker 1 Maybe Sam's spleen is in his forehead, and that's why it's all swollen. Ooh, that was mean.
That was mean. I'm sorry.
I was called for Shambhan. Sam, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Sam Darnold's forehead, which is very big. Big, pronounced forehead.
That just means you got a big brain. Yeah, I mean, Peyton Manning had a great forehead.
He won two Super Bowls.

Speaker 1 After Peyton Manning's wife started taking HGH,

Speaker 1 his forehead grew so much because he knew that he had to compete to be more alphabetical. Right, exactly.
Okay, let's get to our interview.

Speaker 1 We'll do French Montana first, then Alex Bregman from the Houston Astros. Before we do that.

Speaker 3 What a combo. Yes.

Speaker 1 All-time combo. Find another show that has French Montana and Alex Bregman.
You can't. You literally cannot.
Before we do that.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, French Montana.

Speaker 3 And Larry likes the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Oh, Larry likes the Cowboys. There we go.
Larry, Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. It is French Montana.
Yes, sir. You know him.
You love him. You've heard all his music.

Speaker 1 Full disclosure, we're actually very good friends with him. We went to dinner with him last night.
It's very random. But two days in a row, what are you doing tomorrow? Oh, he's got a phone call.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's fine. That's for tomorrow.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that's the alarm.

Speaker 1 You got to put it in the calendar. Yeah, so what are we going to do tomorrow? Get some of the wings, baby.
Best friends. I like wings on a Friday.
You like wings? City Island. City Island? Okay.

Speaker 1 Get some crab legs? Yeah. Crab legs.
I don't think you want to eat the crab legs on City Island, do you? Oh, yeah. What? No? Yes.
City Island is the best seafood we ever gonna have in your life.

Speaker 1 Best crab legs in the city. What? For real? You serious?

Speaker 1 I know one guy who we work with is from City Island. He always says it's kind of, you know, once you stay on City Island, you're there for life kind of thing.
So I don't know.

Speaker 1 Because one way in, one way out. Right.
So you just hang out there forever. I mean, if you live anywhere, you're going to hate it, right? Yeah, that's true.
That's true.

Speaker 1 All right, so thank you for coming in. You've been doing the car wash today.
We're going to try to make this fun. Maybe ask some questions you haven't been asked.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to start with, because we're big animal guys. You have a lot of pets.
You have a lot of exotic animals. Not exotic.
I have.

Speaker 1 What would you say an exotic animal? I mean, what do you have right now?

Speaker 1 My favorite animal I have right now.

Speaker 1 And I would hate to separate them because they're all my babies. It's sorry.
They probably all listen to the show, but that's okay. Yeah.
It's probably a little heartbroken. Probably

Speaker 1 this snow leopard is going to be like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 No, probably my Tibetan massive. Hell yeah.
Okay. Okay.
Those Tibetan massives, they're the ones that have the mane almost around them, right?

Speaker 1 I got an English mastiff.

Speaker 1 Does your dog break news too? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah.
They tend to do that. It's a breed thing, I think.
Wait, do you have snakes? No. Okay, thank God.
Snake people are weird. I don't know how.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I don't know how you can have a snake.
Yeah, so what do you have right now? You have dogs,

Speaker 1 monkey. Well, I have a monkey.
Okay. His name is Julius Caesar.
That's a great name for a monkey. Great name for a monkey.

Speaker 1 I have a German shepherd. Okay.
I had them since I was young. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tibetan massive. And that's about it.
Do you find that with the monkey, it needs to have like a lot of mental stimulation or else it gets bored?

Speaker 1 Yeah, um, I mean, when I'm on the road and I'm working like this, I always keep him with with his father in Vegas. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. So he got, you know, he set out.
Yeah, traveling with a monkey, I feel like that would be pretty. That's how Justin got got.
First of all, I don't agree with traveling even with dogs.

Speaker 1 It's like that, but I'm on a plane.

Speaker 1 So when Julius Caesar sees his dad, does he run up and give him a big hug? Yeah, I mean, you know, if you Google on the videos, you can see. One thing I love about them, they know real love.

Speaker 1 They always, you know, every time he sees me, even if I don't see him for three months

Speaker 1 off tour, he just, you know, he just remembers. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you, thank you. We just got a shitload of Popeyes brought in for us.
That's awesome. Who are some Popeyes? Yeah, I would love some action.

Speaker 1 Jake, take this and maybe you open up the bag and pass out. They got little buttons.
Bust it open. Yeah, bust it open.
I know you don't have the Tigers anymore,

Speaker 1 but the caption you put on that picture of you with the Tigers was amazing. Got so high last night, bought two baby Tigers.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just really a case of you being so high that you're like, it would kick ass if I had some tigers. Man, I feel like we was in Miami and it was just, you know, we celebrating my album.

Speaker 1 Then we were shooting a video of me in the weekend, the day after,

Speaker 1 and we just, you know, we were celebrating. Then the next day they really brought like two cups, you know what I'm saying? Just like test me.

Speaker 1 But I looked at them, I just busted out laughing. Me and Chanks, rest in peace.
Yeah. It was a real special moment.
I would love to get so high and have that kind of money where it's like

Speaker 1 tiger purchasing wealth. No, but they really like, like, got them for me.
But when I found I had to feed them four, every four hours, I said, I can't even feed myself for everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we just got the Popeyes. We had to remember to feed ourselves every four hours.
You remember. Yeah, right.
I didn't remember.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Jake. So I read this quote.
This is kind of a serious question because I'm curious about this. I read a quote where you said,

Speaker 1 when you're trying to make it on the street in the music scene, it can happen overnight. But when you're in the music business, it's a lot longer of a haul, a lot more patience.

Speaker 1 What's the, I mean, you've done both. You made it, you know, on the street and then in the music business.
What's the difference between those two and like the climb to the top?

Speaker 1 Well, I feel like

Speaker 1 when you make it, you know,

Speaker 1 in the streets, I feel like...

Speaker 1 I think they go hand in hand because you got to know your business and you got to go like know the streets. Like a lot of people think it's just rap.

Speaker 1 a lot of people think just because you you know you can rap good and

Speaker 1 this and that you're gonna be good in the game i think personally rapping is like 20 of it and it doesn't mean that you don't have the 100 potential and experience and lyrics and you know do what you do but i feel like people forget about the business side people forget about what comes with it You know, in the streets, at least if you hustling, all you got to worry about is robbers and people trying to, you know, finagle you.

Speaker 1 But in the game, lawyers, fake managers, fake business managers, fake road managers. There's so many titles.
Right. By the time the money gets to you, you're in the negative.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is there a way that you've kind of figured out how to weed people out, how to know who you can trust?

Speaker 1 I feel like, you know.

Speaker 1 No one's like no one who you can trust is not something you can just be like, yo, I trust him. He looked like I could trust him

Speaker 1 it's something you like you need experience like you went to dinner with someone last night now you trust them yeah

Speaker 1 like right now like like our energy right now

Speaker 1 it's good it's better than every other interview i had you know why because me and you had dinner last night yes we laid the ground so that goes with the game yes you know what i'm saying the more the more time you spend around somebody the more you're gonna trust them because guess what the only

Speaker 1 the only people you ain't gonna trust is the people that show you the true colors right right right and we and we had dinner last night and you said something at dinner that made me pause.

Speaker 1 And I actually tell me if this is wrong to even ask, but you just casually were like, Yeah, I got shot in the head. You just said that.

Speaker 1 And the guy sitting next to me at dinner was like, Did he just say he got shot in the head? I was like, Yeah, he got shot in the head. That had to suck.
That just been a chicken win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that had to suck, man. Like, I don't know what else you can say about that, but that sucks.
That's a tough deal.

Speaker 1 Man, look.

Speaker 1 It's like, where do you want to get shot? Heads the worst. You know, life works, you know what I mean? Funny sometimes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 To be around the wrong people and the wrong things, and things just come, you know. I feel like God blessed me to be here,

Speaker 1 and it showed me that you're never in control of your life.

Speaker 1 You don't have to get shot in your head. You could walk outside right now and get hit by a car.
Right. Yeah.
You know, I feel like sometimes you can look at your life like,

Speaker 1 what if I don't have no tomorrow? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I wish I had the video of that kind of thing. Would you make the same decisions

Speaker 1 if you didn't have tomorrow?

Speaker 1 Probably not. And I imagine that as bad as that was to go through, it did give you a new perspective on the other end of it where it's like things are different.

Speaker 1 Every day is a gift. Every decision you make is a little bit different.

Speaker 1 I would imagine that in your position, it gave you some perspective. Of course.
I'm just sure you're not controlling your life. Yeah.
You're not controlling your life at all.

Speaker 1 And on top of it it's a great uh like conversation thing you can just drop it a random dinner and just be like i got shot in the head and everyone's like what no see me no me no me and hasam was having a conversation yeah you just happened to turn around well the guy next to me yeah the guy next to me was like what did he just say i was like yeah yeah nah nah you know you you just happen to turn around and just and just heard that but um

Speaker 1 You know things happen to people, you know. I'm just happy to, you know, overcome that obstacle, that hurdle, and become French Montana.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you damn near got to lose your life to become who you want to be. Yeah, so you're, so French Montana, the name, obviously French, your

Speaker 1 background, your upbringing, and then Montana, is that from Scarface?

Speaker 1 I mean, they used to call me Bonjour when I first moved to the Bronx. It was hilarious.
Not as hard as French Montana. No, no, it was, no, first it was young French.
It was bonjour, then young French.

Speaker 1 I mean, Montana came, I just thought I, you know, I had no choice. You know, I couldn't go to college.
I had no paperwork. I came from Africa, couldn't get a job, couldn't do nothing.

Speaker 1 So it was like when I started hustling and becoming who I am, it was like Montana, French Montana. You know, it's a pretty awesome name.

Speaker 1 We actually have a guy in the office who came up through the battle rap scene, and he was telling me that you did a lot of battle rap stuff back in the day.

Speaker 1 What's the most devastating line that you've ever dropped on somebody in a battle rap?

Speaker 1 You know too much. Good question.
Yeah? Good question. You know too much.

Speaker 1 And I want to apologize.

Speaker 1 I said a line like,

Speaker 1 in order to watch

Speaker 1 Crazy in the Face, like Jason Kidd baby. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, that's a good one. That one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I want to apologize.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So there we go.

Speaker 1 Wait, are you apologizing to the person or to Jason Kidd? To everyone, yeah, to everyone.

Speaker 1 He's going to be one of my favorite players. Yeah, yeah.
No, that's, I mean, but that's also like in that's in between the white lines of the battle rapping.

Speaker 1 Like, you're going to have to say something. But, you know, in the battle rap, when you stand in front of somebody, like, they just say whatever to you.

Speaker 1 So, so Jason Kidd, he wasn't in front of me, but it's like, that's how we go through it. Like,

Speaker 1 I'd be here with 30 minutes of that. Your mother, this,

Speaker 1 this.

Speaker 1 It so happens. I apologize, Jason Kidd.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Is there anything that's considered to be over the line during a battle rap that you don't touch?

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 1 All fair game. If you were to battle rap Hank right now, what would you say? That's Hank right now.
Don't rattle the the wrong cage. Oh, watch it.
Watch it, Hank.

Speaker 1 That's not good. What would you say? To Hank?

Speaker 1 I care for you very deeply, and you do a great job on the show. Yeah.
Boom. Roast.
Wait, wait, wait. I'm not done yet.
Not. Yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 1 See? That's pretty damn. Does anybody ever drop a knot during a battle rap? If you just run out of shit and you're like, I'm just going to be nice, and then just drop the knot at the end.

Speaker 1 Just have everyone go crazy. That would be good.
It could be a good battle rap. Yeah, watch out.
The knot guy. Do you think Cardi B would like me? You know what, though?

Speaker 1 When 20,000 is on the table, I thought you would say not.

Speaker 1 You think I'd shrink under the bright lights?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a lot of money. Yeah, not's a tough one.
I mean, coming up is a lot of money. Yeah, for sure.
Because you're standing right there,

Speaker 1 face to face like this. Y'all just going at it.
What would you tell him? Not? Yeah, I think I just hit Hank with the not.

Speaker 1 What would you say? I would say, Hank, you're really good looking. I care about your fantasy team.
I want your hair. Just kidding.
I want your hairbounds. Yeah, yeah.
What about

Speaker 1 a psych with him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a psych on him.
Not. Yeah.
And maybe do like a, try to cross him up with an invisible basketball and hope he's like, oh. Breaks his head.
Fuck yes.

Speaker 1 Got you, dude. Because I can't speak.
So I got you. That would be good, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Definitely going to win.

Speaker 1 When Max B gets out of jail, are the Koch boys getting back together? They never left. Okay.
What it was it, Coke, like

Speaker 1 we just dropped the Coke Boys. What does that mean? What is Coke? Is it like the drink? Look, I know y'all doing the interview.
I ain't gonna let the chicken get cold. I'm not gonna let you do that.

Speaker 1 So, look, Coke Boys, we just dropped that on mixtape.

Speaker 1 Okay. When is he getting out of jail?

Speaker 1 Any day. I mean, that's got to be like a nice, that'll be a nice reunion when he does finally get out of jail.
You got to control bougie, man. Ain't some chicken.
Shout out, Max B. I'm on a diet.

Speaker 1 I'm too fat, fat, so I've been trying to lose weight. It's good.
It's good, Joe. It's bad, man.
Are you still a big soccer fan? Yeah. What team do you root for? Moravo.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Any other like EPL, like lobbyists? I was kind of mad they lost, but I mean, you know, I used to be a big fan of Maradona. Yeah.
Coke boys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, Ronaldo, Bajo, like a bunch of people, Romario. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Ronald Dinho.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 Maradona is like the original Coke Boy, right? Tuck that in. Yeah, it's been that he is, right?

Speaker 1 There's actually like a documentary coming out about him that I'm pumped for.

Speaker 1 Because he, yeah. I mean, I think he still is a Coke Boy.
I actually got a chance to meet him. You know, that was like one of my biggest moments of my life.
I used to really watch it

Speaker 1 faithfully. So definitely, I mean, for him to be like, that's a rock star, right? Yeah.
To the music. Absolutely.
He used to score and like Tupac or spin the camera. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love that crossover too because I feel like that's.

Speaker 1 That's how they found cocaine one time. He spit in the camera.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? They swiped it.

Speaker 1 He spit on a camera and they took his saliva and they tested it. His saliva had coke in it? Damn.
I'm like, for the body of that. Drug gun picks.
Is that what they told him?

Speaker 1 Or is that what they told me?

Speaker 1 People could put the vibe in your vibe to find out the vibe. Yeah.
Yeah. The vibe could find the vibe.
There's other vibe and the vibe. What was he like?

Speaker 1 Swab the vibe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We swab that vibe right out of here.

Speaker 1 That's why I don't do any of the genetic testing. But how legendary

Speaker 1 how legendary was he, though? Very. The most legendary.
Who's your favorite soccer player? I mean, Maradona's always been

Speaker 1 my number one. Freddie Dew is pretty good.
That was really dope. Tim Howard.
Who was Rose LaVelles? Who was the one they killed? Because he scored. Escobar.
Yeah. It was Escobar for Columbia.

Speaker 1 Scored the own goal against the U.S. USA, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was fucked up. That never happened in basketball history, right?

Speaker 1 Well, Jason Williams killed his bodyguard, I think. So

Speaker 1 that was kind of fun. No,

Speaker 1 that was home invasion yeah it was self-defense that was outside against the court driver

Speaker 1 that was kind of fucked up yeah that wasn't in the basketball court that was in the courthouse yeah that's true so no one yeah no one I think to my knowledge has like lost a game and had that happen on basketball who's your favorite basketball player

Speaker 1 ever yeah it's hard

Speaker 1 don't say LeBron no okay

Speaker 1 I mean I mean LeBron I feel like he's okay

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm gonna love him more when he's he's not playing.

Speaker 1 Same way how Michael Jordan is. I feel like right now it's just, you know,

Speaker 1 it's too much in your face.

Speaker 1 Which is sad to say it. The same thing with rappers, like Tupac people love him more when he's not here.

Speaker 1 And I feel like, you know, Michael Jordan, definitely one of them. I feel like Khaled Drexler,

Speaker 1 Vince Carter is my favorite dunk hill. Like, I love everybody for something different.
Right. You're right, though.

Speaker 1 You love the guys afterwards. You don't appreciate them in the moment.
One of my favorite players was Steve Francis. Yeah.
Franchise. Baron Davis.
Yep. We've had him on the show.
Yeah, great scorer.

Speaker 1 I used to love the

Speaker 1 guys that practice the fundamentals and go in there and bounce, bounce, pass. Not a deli fan? Don't like Matthew Danny? I was never like a John Stockton and Carl Malone fan like that.

Speaker 1 I was more of like, yeah, AI.

Speaker 1 Even AI wasn't as like, like, like a Steve Francis, I felt like. Steve Francis kind of built on what AI started a little bit.
Like he brought that

Speaker 1 nasty crossovers in the league. Definitely.
And then Francis

Speaker 1 built off of it. Yeah.
Tracy McGrady. Yeah, he had the nickname the franchise.
You can't be better than that. I mean, the answer is pretty cool, too.

Speaker 1 The answer is cool, but the franchise, I mean, that's cool. But imagine something.
Who you enjoyed more? Reggie Miller or Steph Curry? Steph Curry. Steph Curry.
Yeah, close. Steph Curry.

Speaker 1 Reggie was annoying.

Speaker 1 Reggie was good. Because he beat the Knicks.
You from New York? No, no. No.
No. Why? No, he was annoying.
I don't care about the Knicks. He was annoying.
No, the Bulls always beat Reggie Miller.

Speaker 1 I just think he's annoying, and he's more annoying on broadcast

Speaker 1 than

Speaker 1 he's actually the opposite of what you're saying, where we appreciate guys afterwards. Reggie Miller, I start hating him even more now.

Speaker 1 He just won't stop talking. I'm just like, shut up.
Let me go back to a question I asked earlier. Do you think Cardi B would like me? Of course.
Yeah, okay, that's good enough for me.

Speaker 1 But it depends if,

Speaker 1 you know what I'm saying? Like,

Speaker 1 if

Speaker 1 she wasn't with my brother, you know what I'm saying? Right. No, I meant as a friend, just like me and her being friends.

Speaker 1 Hello, you got to stand up for what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Be careful.

Speaker 1 Don't get scared.

Speaker 1 No, just like platonically, I think. Nah, shout out to Cardi B, man.
We got a big single coming out tonight. Oh, nice.
Shout out, Cardi B. All right, well, this has been awesome, man.

Speaker 1 I appreciate you coming by. We got to figure out what we're doing tomorrow and make it three days in a row.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you want to start

Speaker 1 with the strip club or the hustlers club. Okay, we'll go.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm one of the crab legs.
We'll just hang out at the strip club. What the crab legs is the hustlers club? There you go.
Two birds, one stone. They got a buffet there? Yeah.
Okay. A whole buffet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's nothing like a strip club buffet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Strip club buffet.
That's where you get the real stuff. Five girls from five different countries.
That's a real buffet.

Speaker 1 You got to go to Tampa Bay. They have no steakhouses in the strip clubs.
What? In Tampa, yeah. Tampa's like an

Speaker 1 eye smell where the girls right there. It's like crazy.

Speaker 1 Keep the food separate. Right, yeah, right.
I've run into that part problem all the time. There's too many naked women around my food.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. All right, well, thank you, man.
Appreciate it. We really appreciate you coming by.
Good luck with everything. Thanks, man.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Coastboy, baby. Shout out to Max Penny.

Speaker 1 That interview with French Montana was brought to you by Quip, and I think we're going to get another Larry's picks during this ad read. Is that right, Nick?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? That sounds like a cat. Panthers? Lions?

Speaker 1 Bengals?

Speaker 1 Oh, my.

Speaker 1 Colts? What are

Speaker 1 cats?

Speaker 1 Raiders? Not a cat.

Speaker 1 What cat team am I not thinking of? It's a big cat.

Speaker 1 Jaguars. Jaguars.
What the fuck, Jake? Thanks, Jake. Thanks, Jake.
Appreciate it. Very cool.
What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
And now, Alex Bregman. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on two-time all-star. He is from the Houston Astros.
It is Alex Bregman getting ready for the MLB playoffs.

Speaker 1 Alex, before we talk about baseball, I wanted to at least kind of bridge the gap here with our talk about LSU. You're a Coach O guy.
We're a Coach O guys.

Speaker 1 What do you love about Coach O the most?

Speaker 1 Well, Well,

Speaker 6 he's just a good, he's a good dude, first off, just getting to talk to him a little bit,

Speaker 6 getting to be around him. But it seems like the players love playing for him, man.
And,

Speaker 6 I mean,

Speaker 6 Joe Burrows shredding this year. We got a quarterback for the first time in a while.

Speaker 6 We might put up 50 points against Bama in Tuscaloosa.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. All right.

Speaker 1 Take it easy.

Speaker 1 LSU, by the way, has not scored a touchdown against Alabama in the last two years. And we're LSU, we love Coach O, we love LSU, but let's go for a touchdown before we go for 50 Burger.

Speaker 6 Hey, we need to pass. If we pass the 50-yard line, we're putting up 50.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to blame you entirely for all this, but you were the guest picker on game day when it was Alabama LSU last year. And that was a tough game to watch.
We were there for that one.

Speaker 6 Oh, it was brutal. What do you want me to go in there and say, hey, we're going to squeak out a tight one 10-7? No, I'm going to get the people going.
I'm going to get the people fired up.

Speaker 6 We're going going to win 42-10.

Speaker 1 No, no, I thought that you didn't say that they were going to win by enough. That's what my problem was.
You weren't cocky enough on that.

Speaker 6 It didn't really work out the way we want it, though.

Speaker 1 No, definitely not. All right, so you have the baseball playoffs coming up.
Obviously, the Astros are...

Speaker 1 I think you guys might be the odds-on favorite. Unbelievable regular season, historic regular season, great pitching staff.
Do you guys feel any of that extra pressure now?

Speaker 1 I mean, you won two years ago, so now you guys are coming in here and being like everyone expecting you to win.

Speaker 1 Is there a different vibe going into this postseason than there were two years ago when you were kind of climbing that mountain?

Speaker 6 I think there is. I think there's a little bit different vibe.
I think we have a different team as well.

Speaker 6 But, I mean, first off, I think...

Speaker 6 I think we got, like you said, a great pitching staff that's veteran that's been around that's pitched in the postseason.

Speaker 6 And I think that's going to help with those expectations.

Speaker 6 I think we have a lot of expectations. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be great.

Speaker 6 But, I mean, we love it. We think pressure is a privilege, and we want to go out there and prove to the world that they're right and that we are the best team in the world.

Speaker 1 It's interesting that you're talking about the experience helping you guys out this year because in football, we always say in the postseason, the game speeds up a little bit more.

Speaker 1 At least as a fan, it seems like in baseball, everything slows down a little bit. Like, every decision is more calculated.
There's more tension.

Speaker 1 Is that how it feels, or does it feel like it's sped up to you?

Speaker 6 I think everything slows down and the games are like five hours and you're locked in on every single person's at bat.

Speaker 6 When Correa's up, my legs are shaking in a dugout,

Speaker 6 hoping they throw him a ball, or hoping that he gets a hit, or

Speaker 6 hoping that he finds a way to help us win a game. And I think everybody being locked into every single pitch during the postseason, the fans on their feet every pitch, I think it just

Speaker 6 magnifies everything. It kind of slows it down, but at the same time, it speeds it up.

Speaker 6 If you let it affect how you play, it speeds up on you in a hurry.

Speaker 1 So one of my favorite things about baseball is all of the superstitions that guys have. What is your biggest superstition, and what's the weirdest one on the team?

Speaker 6 I think my superstition,

Speaker 6 I have a lot of little things that I do.

Speaker 6 I try and do the same every day.

Speaker 6 my sliding shorts on the same way, my socks on, the right one first, left one second, the arm sleeve on, and I go get my my tape and I put on the like it's just they're so it's so routine based I don't know if it's really superstition um

Speaker 6 but

Speaker 6 I don't know I think I think Reddick I think Reddick might have the have the weirdest one with him putting on Spider-Man a Spider-Man uh jumpsuit on under his uniform for every game

Speaker 1 that's interesting okay so he wears a full Spider-Man

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, he's wearing like a Spider-Man Halloween costume.

Speaker 1 What? That's weird.

Speaker 6 Under his uni every day.

Speaker 6 Trying to think what else.

Speaker 1 It's like a kid going to sleep in his Superman pajamas. Yeah.
Does Verlander have anything fun?

Speaker 1 I would imagine Verlander's a pretty intense dude when when his day is called and he's up on the on the rubber. Does he have any weird superstitions that he goes through?

Speaker 6 His Verlander on his start day puts on headphones and like everyone in the in the in the clubhouse is like doesn't want to doesn't want to talk like he doesn't talk to anybody.

Speaker 6 We don't want to talk to him either we just let him stay in his zone we he I don't think he uh I don't think he knows uh anything besides his routine on his start day he doesn't he doesn't talk he doesn't talk to anybody he just goes goes about his business keeps his headphones on and uh we just we just decide that we're we'll talk to him the other uh the other four days in between starts

Speaker 1 exactly how i imagined it to go what about you when you step up to the plate in between pitches do you do do you have a routine that you do where you unstrap each glove in the same same order hit yourself on the left elbow twice grab your jack strap that sort of thing no um i guess walking to the plate i kind of slap my bat on my back um the same way every uh every time i walk up to the plate and then i dig into the box the same way um

Speaker 6 kind of tap my bat on my cleats a few times and then um

Speaker 6 i don't really have anything mid at bat that I do, but before the A-bat, I like to do it the same every time.

Speaker 1 One of our favorite things to ask baseball players is, we're obsessed with unwritten rules. What's your favorite unwritten rule?

Speaker 6 I like all of them, honestly.

Speaker 6 I kind of like the way that the game has always policed itself.

Speaker 6 I think that

Speaker 6 if you do some stupid stuff on the field,

Speaker 6 either you or one of your teammates is going to get hit for how you were acting. And I kind of like that.
I kind of like

Speaker 1 those rules.

Speaker 1 Have you had a moment where you knew going up to the plate that you were most likely going to get hit? Like it was like, okay, this game has gone this way. I'm the guy who's about to

Speaker 1 get one in the ear hole.

Speaker 6 No, I haven't in the big leagues. I haven't thought I was going to get hit.

Speaker 6 There have been a few times in Summerball when I was playing Summerball in high school that I figured I'd get thrown at, and I did. But

Speaker 6 I haven't really had that happen in the big leagues. I think I've been thrown at, but

Speaker 6 I don't think

Speaker 6 I was expecting it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You ever charge the mound?

Speaker 6 No, no, no. I haven't.

Speaker 1 Do you have a plan in place?

Speaker 1 Like, just in case somebody throws one high and tight, you're like, okay, I'm going to run out there. I'm going to take my helmet off first, throw it, then follow it up with a left hook.

Speaker 1 I feel like there's only one way to do it.

Speaker 6 You either go and get them

Speaker 1 or you don't.

Speaker 6 You either walk the first base or you go all the way out there and get them. So

Speaker 6 I'm not a fan of the old, like, go talk, go talk a lot of mess to each other and then carry on with your day. I like either go get him or we move on with the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like doing the thing where you walk out of the batter's box, like, towards the pitcher's mound, 10 feet and wait for the catcher to grab you and then walk to first base.

Speaker 1 That's kind of a cop-out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'm either all in or all out.

Speaker 1 What's your relationship?

Speaker 6 I just go down to first base.

Speaker 1 What's your relationship like with Joe West?

Speaker 6 I like Joe West. I think he has one of of the best strike zones in the big leagues.

Speaker 6 Behind the plate, like statistically, I think he has one of the best strike zones in the big leagues by far.

Speaker 6 I like Joe a lot.

Speaker 6 I think he does a good job.

Speaker 1 I love that, buttering him up. That's actually a very smart move.

Speaker 1 You want to talk about how great his country album is, too?

Speaker 6 I haven't actually listened to it, but I heard he's pretty good at golf.

Speaker 1 He's got a great neck.

Speaker 1 He's a handsome looking dude.

Speaker 1 Do you have a favorite umpire?

Speaker 6 I think I would have to go with

Speaker 6 maybe Hunter.

Speaker 6 Hunter's my guy.

Speaker 6 Either Hunter, Alan's a good dude.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of there's a um

Speaker 6 their job is so hard. They get it they get it tough.
Um

Speaker 6 uh

Speaker 6 and I say this and I'll get like I'll butthurt like I did last year about a call.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 6 no, their job's really tough. And

Speaker 6 I'm close with a lot of them.

Speaker 6 I got to shoot the shit with them all the time.

Speaker 1 I noticed that you were talking about Joe West's strike zone. You spend a lot of time actually breaking down where each umpire's strike zone is before each game.

Speaker 6 We actually have that. Yeah, we actually have where the guys are more likely to call pitches.

Speaker 1 Who's got like a really

Speaker 1 who's got a really thick strike zone, like a really wide one?

Speaker 6 I'm not sure off the top of my head.

Speaker 6 I think the thing that we have is like

Speaker 6 a chart that basically shows us which side of the plate they go off the plate more on. So

Speaker 6 if they like calling the pitch down and away more than the pitch up and in,

Speaker 6 we know that

Speaker 6 there might be a few inches off the plate, down and away that we're going to get called tonight.

Speaker 1 So speaking of that,

Speaker 6 our pitchers know that too, so they try and go and expand down there.

Speaker 1 So speaking of that, the Astros are like one of the most analytically inclined organizations. How much are there guys just telling you every day, like, hey, here's what your approach should be.

Speaker 1 Like, how much hands-on

Speaker 1 data are you being given day to day? Or are they kind of just giving you a little something and saying, go and play? Like,

Speaker 1 what's the balance there?

Speaker 6 I think what they have done is they've acquired a bunch of smart baseball players. Guys that are baseball players, but are also

Speaker 6 that also want to be students of the game and learn the game and want to continue to improve. And the guys in that clubhouse use the analytics that they give us.

Speaker 6 We use the

Speaker 6 different tools that we have to improve. And

Speaker 6 I think every single day

Speaker 1 we're gaining,

Speaker 6 we have information on the guy that we're facing that's going to help us be successful in the game.

Speaker 6 And I really think that what they've done a great job of is not taking out the full

Speaker 6 baseball element out of the game.

Speaker 6 They know that they have a lot of information analytically, but they also know that

Speaker 6 we're baseball players and we're winners.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 6 if you have winning baseball players in your team that are using that analytics to get better, that's what you get.

Speaker 6 You get a World Series champion.

Speaker 1 chip caliber team interesting what what fascinates me is uh you were playing with one of the greatest baseball guys of the last 25 years, Brian McCann, who is notorious for being an old school guy.

Speaker 1 Like, we're talking about unwritten rules. He wrote the unwritten rule book by not writing it.
That guy, like, he loves,

Speaker 1 in the past, he had been one of the first guys to criticize home run celebrations. But you somehow, you were like Freddie Prince Jr.
and she's all that.

Speaker 1 You turned him, you took his glasses off and let his hair down. And you were like, hey, Brian, you're going to be cool and do team celebrations with us now.

Speaker 1 How did you manage to turn him from from like one of those like unwritten rule guys into let's have some fun guys?

Speaker 6 So for me, B-MAG was never like,

Speaker 6 first off, Brian's is one of my best friends in the whole world, and

Speaker 6 we'll be best friends forever. That's due to the fact that we won a World Series together, but we also became really close.

Speaker 6 Just because

Speaker 6 we kind of go about, we kind of feel about the game of baseball in the same way.

Speaker 6 I don't think Brian's necessarily an unwritten rule guy. Like, he doesn't like people bat flipping and hitting homers.
He just likes,

Speaker 6 he just likes, he just wants, he just wants to,

Speaker 6 he doesn't want the

Speaker 6 rookie who comes up and

Speaker 6 is one for 36 like I was to bat flip a homer.

Speaker 6 He wants you to do something first and impact the baseball game before you start

Speaker 6 acting like that.

Speaker 6 So he uh I think I think me and him feel the same way about a lot of stuff, but I don't necessarily know if he's like the if he's like a kind of guy that's like, oh, don't bat flip, don't don't talk shit.

Speaker 6 He's the best in the clubhouse, the funniest dude.

Speaker 1 He basically just

Speaker 1 he has a whole whole team on there on the floor laughing every single day.

Speaker 6 He's the best.

Speaker 1 So you're never shy to stir it up on Twitter. You were called like

Speaker 1 baseball's new super villain last year. Do you think you guys are going to get any primetime games in the first round this year?

Speaker 6 I think we got a night game, the second game.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, interesting. Nice.
I can't, whoever we play.

Speaker 1 But, you know what?

Speaker 6 I decided this year, you know what? I'm not going to cause that much trouble on social media.

Speaker 1 No Instagram stories for you?

Speaker 6 I stayed off of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 6 I got a lot of trash talk to me about the Instagram story.

Speaker 6 It was two for three with two doubles that day.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait. So you're going to stay out of it on Twitter, but what if Trevor Bauer starts chirping at you again?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 I won't be responding anymore.

Speaker 1 Okay. I mean, that's...

Speaker 6 I can't. I can't.
I can't. I mean,

Speaker 1 we're.

Speaker 6 At this point, it's just like

Speaker 6 we can't talk about it anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, like, defeating Trevor Bauer in a battle of wits, it doesn't really look impressive even if you do that, you know? Like it's a it's not exactly a tough conquest.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, you're exactly right.

Speaker 1 I don't want to play.

Speaker 6 I don't want to say anything because I'll quote it on Twitter and it'll turn into a whole giant another fiasco. So

Speaker 6 but yeah,

Speaker 6 honestly, I'm just

Speaker 6 who knows?

Speaker 6 Who knows? Who knows what might happen if we win? Something crazy might happen.

Speaker 1 I like that. Teasing it a little bit.
Oh, I looked it up. It's not.
You guys aren't odds on. You're plus 200 to win the World Series.

Speaker 1 But you are odds on to win the American League at minus one fifty. Going into games, are you aware of

Speaker 1 what the run total is for the gamblers at home that are watching? Maybe like us?

Speaker 6 No, I don't think we have a single clue. I don't think anybody in our clubhouse has any idea, be honest.

Speaker 1 It's a smart answer.

Speaker 1 Smart answer seems a little too rehearsed.

Speaker 6 As we possibly can every single day.

Speaker 6 And our pitchers are trying to put up zeros.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Okay.

Speaker 1 I had one last question. So I'm always curious about this.

Speaker 1 When teams get in the playoffs, obviously you have the celebrations after every single series win.

Speaker 1 Is there a moment when you win, like, maybe the first series, when you win the DS, and you guys are all partying and you're like, hey, wait, this is kind of weird. We haven't really won anything yet.

Speaker 1 Like, how does that work?

Speaker 1 How quickly does the party turn into like, oh shit, we actually have to go back to work tomorrow versus maybe winning the CS in the World Series when the party can go a little longer?

Speaker 6 No, I think you're right. I think we think about that every year.
And it's like, hey,

Speaker 6 we haven't accomplished what we want to accomplish yet, but I feel like... I just feel like it's bad karma if you don't celebrate each round.

Speaker 6 I mean, we can go do so instead of jumping around on the field, we can go through a handshake line and just act like we were supposed to do it, like we were. But at the end of of the day,

Speaker 6 we don't want that karma.

Speaker 6 We want to celebrate each one because it's hard to win a big league today's fucking.

Speaker 1 It's funny because I remember that about you when you guys did win the World Series.

Speaker 1 You were one of the guys that was like going on to Mike and Mike and the morning shows and stuff like that early the next day. You were like doing a media tour, weren't you?

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 1 That's got to suck. Like, people don't talk about that, but for an athlete that just won a world championship, you're probably up late, partying, having a good time.

Speaker 1 You've got to be like halfway drunk or at least extremely hungover doing those shows, and you have to pretend like you're not. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 We didn't sleep that night after the World Series. We got straight onto the plane at 10 a.m.
the next morning, came back, had the parade, and then went out again.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 I hope to be doing some more of that this year.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yes. Okay.
That sounds awesome. I wish I could win a world championship in something just so I'd have an excuse to get drunk for three days non-stop.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It sounds pretty cool. You know what?

Speaker 6 You could.

Speaker 6 You can this year. You can.

Speaker 1 And throw on some blue and orange.

Speaker 6 Come down to Minutemade Park.

Speaker 6 And you know what?

Speaker 1 Cheer for the Stros.

Speaker 6 You won a World Championship.

Speaker 1 There you go. Okay, L Jeremy

Speaker 1 is guaranteeing you a World Series. And he's also telling me that I can get drunk for three days non-stop.
Damn. I'm sold.
I'm an Astros. You guys are my American League team.

Speaker 6 You can get drunk for three days non-stop.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's a great fucking question. Oh, I had one last question.
Last, no, what was it?

Speaker 1 No, two years ago, when you guys were in the World Series against the Dodgers, and you had that crazy game that I can't remember how many runs were scored.

Speaker 1 Did you guys stop at any point

Speaker 1 in the dugout and been like, yo, this is fucking nuts?

Speaker 6 We were down 4-0, and we all met up behind the mountain.

Speaker 1 We're like, you know what?

Speaker 6 We're not supposed to win this game. They got Kershaw on the mountain.
We're down 4-0.

Speaker 1 Let's just know how to fucking play the game.

Speaker 6 And we put up 13 runs and won in 10 innings.

Speaker 6 It It was the best game of all time.

Speaker 1 Love that. Yeah, that game was unbelievable.
That game was unbelievable.

Speaker 1 I was drunk on Bourbon Street during that game, and I kept looking up at the TV, and I thought I was hallucinating all the runs. It was crazy.
Thank you for that.

Speaker 6 It was insane. It was insane.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Alex, thank you so much.
Appreciate you joining us. Best of luck.
You guaranteed a World Series championship in Houston, so let's see if you

Speaker 1 and you guaranteed that I'm allowed to get drunk for three days. That's the most important part.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, actually, why don't you just for soundbite purposes, can you just say I guarantee a World World Series championship?

Speaker 1 I will

Speaker 6 tell you, I'll tell you that on

Speaker 6 October 30th.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it's not going to go seven games. So I think that's game four.

Speaker 1 Yes, so you're going to win in five. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 We got to go do it.

Speaker 6 I don't want to say anything. I just want to go.
I just want to go play the games and go win game one first.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fair enough. All right, Alex, best of luck, man.
Appreciate it, and we'll talk to you later.

Speaker 6 Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, man.
Go, Tigers.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after you. Not a big deal.
Pink Whitney?

Speaker 1 That's what I thought. See you, fellas.
I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.

Speaker 1 And Larry's going to do another pick on Sunday. Yes.
On Sunday during Barcelona Sports Advisors. Yes, tune in.
Tune into that. Word on the street is: little bird told me, info scores is coming back.

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice, nice. Might even drop on Friday on YouTube.
You got to subscribe. Okay, let's do some segments.
First up, we got our Fire Fest. Hank, you alluded to it.

Speaker 1 We have to have a talk.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this is like kind of a pre-fire fest, but I'm concerned. Last week, I basically bet every single Moneyline underdog.
I think I did the week before.

Speaker 1 Moneyline. Yeah, underdog Moneyline.

Speaker 3 I look at the board. I'm like, wow, I like a lot of these underdogs, and I say, fuck it, let's just go money line.

Speaker 3 It worked out really well for me last week, and I'm very concerned because I know it's probably not going to work out as well, but I love 11 money line underdogs.

Speaker 1 11? 11.

Speaker 3 And I think, as we were talking about it, the only ones I didn't like were the Chiefs and the Patriots, but I think I like the Colts now, too.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you like the Colts over the Chiefs. What about the Eagles and the Jets?

Speaker 3 You like the Jets? One shock me.

Speaker 1 What if Sam Darnold dies, though?

Speaker 3 They would be playing for him.

Speaker 1 Oh, great point. That's true.
I almost like him better if he dies.

Speaker 1 You are addicted to the rush of a money line, and it's an addiction that I think most people have gone through.

Speaker 1 And the only way you get out of it is you're just going to have to have a disastrous Sunday. I think it kicks ass.
Yeah, but I'm secretly envious of Hank being able to do this. But

Speaker 1 there will be a Sunday where it will all blow up.

Speaker 3 It's probably going to be this one because I talked about it so much, and

Speaker 3 I've convinced so many people in the office that it's a winning strategy that they're probably going to follow me this weekend, and it's going going to be bad.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just took you tonight on this Rams money line, on the alternate money line. Correct.
So I'm kind of diving into this too with you. But I don't think I can be a money line guy.

Speaker 1 Money line, you have to have a walk. You have to have a strut if you're a money line guy.

Speaker 1 Well, you also have to be able to, you also have to be the guy who everyone's going to hate at some point because you walk into the room and you're like, oh, I got money line.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, what the fuck? And he's like, plus, you know, 280.

Speaker 1 No, plus 280 is like, yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 I was rooting for you. Yeah, but but sometimes when I'm in the game.
I was rooting for you. But is it not when you walk in the room and you're like, oh, I have plus 280 and everyone's sweating it out?

Speaker 1 That's a money line guy.

Speaker 1 It's also a major case of one-upsmanship if I'm betting on a game

Speaker 1 and my bet's winning. Right.
And you're like, yeah, my bet's winning too, but I had the money line. So you have to prepare for that.
So relax, Hank. You just got to prepare for that.

Speaker 1 We should get you. Also, last week you got confusing because you're like, I took every money line.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, but I didn't take this money line, this money line, this money line, this money line. So it's a pre-fire fest because it hasn't cost you money yet.
How many games do you have?

Speaker 3 My firefest is that I thought I was going to like, I was like, I'll just do it this weekend, I'll probably stop. But

Speaker 1 I literally could not.

Speaker 3 I was like, all right, I'm just going to pick them as the points, but I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 How many need to hit for you to make a profit this weekend?

Speaker 3 It depends on which ones.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, that's if he just hits the Colts, he could probably make a profit.
If he hits the Colts and the Jets, that's the thing with the money line, guys. You go two and nine and make a profit.

Speaker 1 If you hit the R words, too.

Speaker 3 I'm not doing the R words.

Speaker 1 Raiders, Broncos will be good. If the R words win,

Speaker 1 I was going to say

Speaker 1 winner, winner,

Speaker 1 Stillers, winner, yeah. Winner.
All right, PFT, what's your fire fest? Falcons. My fire fest of the week is that there's no football early on Sunday.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it's the London game, and they usually give us football at 9 a.m. And it's the day that I don't get out of bed until 4 o'clock in the afternoon after the witching hour is all the way over.

Speaker 1 You wake up in the morning. It gives you a little bit of a taste of West Coast life.
Falls close to sleep for a little bit.

Speaker 1 It's as close as I'll ever get to living on the West Coast watching football. Right.
It's just waking up hungover on Sunday morning, watching that 9 a.m.

Speaker 1 game in London where the grass is always a little bit greener.

Speaker 1 Have you noticed that the yard markers, they seem to be a little bit farther apart? Yes. And like not as confidently drawn.
Right.

Speaker 1 There's always just these little, yeah, there's a little bit of a wetness. There's the grass is greener.
It's just something's a little off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I agree with you because you could do the wake up, take a nap in the second quarter, and it's still only like 10.30.

Speaker 1 It's usually the Jaguars over there

Speaker 1 getting played early. Blake Bortles was always a treat to watch over in London.
Fucking sad. He's definitely not waking up for this on West Coast.

Speaker 1 What do you do for this game if it was early and you're on the West Coast? You wake up at

Speaker 1 6.30 a.m. Yeah, if you're a Verge.
If you're a Chad, you don't go to sleep. You stay up.
You rage.

Speaker 1 Speaking of weird, crooked little lines, you're blasting them so you can stay up to watch this game. It's sick.
It sucks, though, not having fire or not having football early on Sunday because

Speaker 1 this is the one time of year where I got to wake up and football is already on, and they're taking that away from me. I don't like it.
I don't like it, NFL. And you know what's going to happen? What?

Speaker 1 The British fans are going to get so drunk before the game that it's going to turn into one of those things where every kickoff they start cheering at the top of their lungs, like super loud.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 That's the most exciting part of a football game for a drunk British fan is either a punt that goes really high and gets a fair catch or a kickoff. Right.

Speaker 1 And also just the random fans that all the jerseys and the weird people that dress up like animals and everything like that. It's football in London.
It's great.

Speaker 1 I would like to hear just some random Brit doing commentary on these games that doesn't understand the game of football. Like that guy who did the

Speaker 1 rugby player who was on the 49ers. Yeah.
And one of the rugby writers in Australia wrote about it. It was like, what is going on in this game?

Speaker 1 Can we get a simulation of what that guy sounded like watching the game hack?

Speaker 1 Oi.

Speaker 1 There you go. Okay, my Fire Fest.
I got two.

Speaker 1 The first is watching Yadir Molina playoff baseball. It's the worst.
He gets all pumped up. I just hate him.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 Major League Baseball should make him wear two of those ear flaps so that you don't see his neck tattoo. Yes, I'd agree.
I'd agree. His whole thing is just too much.

Speaker 1 And then my other Fire Fest is Cincinnati, the Twitter account, they tweeted out that they were dying their field black for Friday night's game. I've never been more excited to bet on a team.

Speaker 1 Turns out they were just kind of like joking, but it wasn't really a joke. That's not a good joke.
Getting everyone excited about it. That's not a good joke at all.
No, it's a terrible joke.

Speaker 1 I was so pumped to watch Cincinnati on an all-black field on a Friday night. They were going to win by a billion.
Are you kidding me? Yes. You can't do that.
A verified Twitter account.

Speaker 1 And that's a very believable joke. Yes.

Speaker 1 It's not a joke. That's not a prank.
No. You can't tweet it from the main,

Speaker 1 literally, the verified Cincinnati Twitter account, Cincinnati football, tweeted a picture of it. That's not a joke.
That's absolutely disgusting.

Speaker 1 That's like going up to someone and punching them in the face and being like, just a joke.

Speaker 1 I'm sick just hearing about it. That's awful because I thought it was real too.
And the field that they mocked up with the eyes on it. Unbelievable.
God damn it, Cincinnati. It's incredible.

Speaker 1 It was going to be awesome to watch on Friday night. The pox on you, Cincinnati.
You're probably never going to win a national title in football. Or basketball.

Speaker 1 That would get so hot, though, in the September outdoor, like the day games in Cincinnati with the blackfield. That's going to be sick.
Playing on a tar pit. You could call it the tar pit.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Damn, UCLA should do that. La Brea.
La Tara tar pit. Yeah, where all the dinosaurs are.

Speaker 1 It's crazy, all the dinosaurs died in that one tar pit. Yeah, that's because they didn't actually exist.

Speaker 1 And that was just a very convenient place to put all the bones next to Los Angeles so people could take a day trip and be like, oh, yeah, dinosaurs did exist. Here are their bones.

Speaker 1 Yeah, here's the target. I'm very, very woke on that.
Okay, so let's do, let's wrap up with a couple segments. FAQs.
First up, we have a PR 101 for Louisville.

Speaker 1 So Louisville, Louisville, is slowly bringing back the national title team that was vacated. Ricottino still has the tattoo, but what was it, Luke Hancock? Yes.

Speaker 1 Got his most outstanding player award back. It was retroactively recognized.
So they're slowly doing it. So he's won two of them, I guess.
Right.

Speaker 1 But they said, so technically this counts as winning again for the first time. I don't know.
All I know is that I now remember that happening again, and yesterday I didn't remember it.

Speaker 1 And you remember that Ricottino Petino has a tattoo of the championship. He absolutely does, which is awesome.
Which should be, they should laser that off

Speaker 1 until they put the banner back up. Yeah, just think about that for a second.
Rick Petino has a tattoo of a vacated championship.

Speaker 1 That is the most Rick Petino thing that could possibly happen outside of coming on his leg. Well, yeah, that's absolutely number one on it.
We don't make those jokes.

Speaker 1 What would it take to re-recognize the championship in Louisville?

Speaker 1 Maybe get rid of the teeth on the birds? Erase the teeth on the Louisville Cardinal.

Speaker 1 Make Papa John sit in a dunk tank of the garlic butter for seven hours. Yep.
And then all the former players get to go up and throw the ball at him.

Speaker 1 Make Papa John sit in a dunk tank that's just a huge fryer because it's the Yum Center. It's the KFC Yum Center.
And we literally fry Papa John to a crisp. To a crisp.

Speaker 1 Or just hand him the liner notes to a Tupac album and say, Papa John, read all of these without using the N-word. If you can make it all the way through,

Speaker 1 then that's never good. That's good.
That's like Sisyphus pushing the ball up

Speaker 1 the hill. He can't do that.
Either way, we're happy that Louisville's back. He gets to Brenda Had a baby and just gets crushed against God.
That's the one. They always get me on that one.

Speaker 1 They always get me. All right, bad visual for the Ravens.
The Ravens. So Marlon Humphrey choked Odell Beckham on Sunday.
Very clearly.

Speaker 1 Then the Ravens tweeted out, there's been a lot of talk about the play between Marlon Humphrey and Odell Beckham Jr. Close-up video shows exactly what happened and that Humphrey didn't choke him.

Speaker 1 And then they showed the close-up video, and it couldn't be more clear that he choked him. He had two hands on

Speaker 1 full possession, made a football move with two feet on the ground. It would have counted as a catch if Odell Beckham's larynx was a football.
Incredible. So I don't know what the Ravens are thinking.

Speaker 1 I don't know what they're doing, but I actually kind of like this.

Speaker 1 You know, just say what's, because a lot of people just read the captions now.

Speaker 1 So if you just say that and you hope that half the audience will not click on the link, boom, you've changed the mind of half of America. That's actually a great point because nobody clicks on links.

Speaker 1 No one clicks. Absolutely not.
So if you say it, I think you probably did dupe most of America, but for eagle-eyed journalists like us who, hand up, I didn't actually watch the video. I didn't either.

Speaker 1 But I saw screenshots from the American. The Browns fans kept on screenshotting it and replying.

Speaker 1 So we actually went one step further and didn't watch the video, but are commenting on the people that didn't watch the video that got it wrong. But we're actually getting it right.
Right.

Speaker 1 So good for us. Yeah, wait a minute.
We were talking about this on Wednesday: how just because it's the Ravens defense doesn't mean it's the same Ravens defense. Yes.

Speaker 1 Attempted murder is very much on brand for the old Ravens defense. They're trying to bring back the old Ravens defense.
So that's good for them. That's swag.
Ray Lewis would be like,

Speaker 1 it was actually my teammate that did it. It wasn't me.
Yes. And I'm going to trade jerseys with this guy after the game.
Yeah, real quick. Real quick.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, you want to end with a couple FAQs here?

Speaker 1 How about some Woes? Oh, yeah. Ooh, Woes.
The Florida Panthers.

Speaker 3 Is time real or is it a ploy to sell watches, calendars, and clocks?

Speaker 1 Ooh, time was just invented by women to make you think that you don't last long enough at sex.

Speaker 1 There it is. That's the answer.
Also, how about Big Ben the Clock? Still in the scaffolding. Yeah, I know.
He's been injured for a very long time. Sucks.
Very long. It sucks.

Speaker 1 His hands are also immobilized. Yes.

Speaker 1 How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? Oh,

Speaker 1 I would say you have to be over 80. To die of old age, over 80.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know.
I think that's that's a sliding scale. Like it depends on what your profession is.
No, but old. If you're a blogger and you turn 30 and just die at your computer,

Speaker 1 that's old age. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think once you pass 80, you can't expect anyone to be sad about your death.

Speaker 1 That's kind of like that actually is the nice zone. And then when when you get 90, so 80 to 90, no one's sad about your death.

Speaker 1 90 to 100, 90 plus, you get to make jokes about the person's death right away. Yeah, absolutely.
Because then it's funny. And when you turn 96, then it's just a race against time to get to 100.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then once the clock strikes 100, at that point, you should just let go. You're being selfish if you live past 100.
Right. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're like kind of trying to show everyone up. When I turn 100, if I'm not dead yet, just shoot me up with a huge batch of heroin.
Okay. And just

Speaker 1 let me fade off into the wild blue yonder with a smile on my face. Done.

Speaker 3 When boiling noodles and eggs, why do noodles get soft and eggs get hard?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's a good question.

Speaker 1 That's a really good question. Whoa.
That is whoa. Okay.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Whoa. I don't know why an egg gets hard because it starts out as a liquid.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And usually when things get cold. But you can also freeze an egg probably.

Speaker 1 Eggs go both ways. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is the sky blue because of the reflection of the ocean, or is the ocean blue because of a reflection of the sky? Where does the blue come from?

Speaker 1 Ooh, they're both reflections of the Los Angeles Chargers' best uniforms. I'm blue, dabba-diba-dabba-daba-da.
That's God putting on his powder blues on a nice Sunday afternoon. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Would you rather have blue? Actually, the ocean's probably just blue because of fish piss. I think that's just the color that.
Is the ocean even blue? Like, sometimes it's blue. Sometimes it's black.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it's green.

Speaker 3 Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?

Speaker 1 Whoa. Ew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. Because belly buttons are cool.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so. Because they would have had a belly button is through, like,

Speaker 1 birth. They were just poop.
They're there. So you're saying God doesn't have a belly button? Right.

Speaker 1 Eve's.

Speaker 1 Who's Eve's? So what did God give? Eve's Cain and Abel? Is that Eve's kids? Yeah. Yeah.
They had belly buttons. But Eve didn't.
God didn't.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Because the first birth.

Speaker 1 Actually, I think. No, they don't have belly buttons.
I think they did. No.
I think they did. Because if

Speaker 1 I just can't imagine a person without a belly button. That's my problem that I'm going to right now.
Yeah, they didn't. What else are you going to get? The Philadelphia Fanatic's mouth tattooed.

Speaker 1 They didn't. That didn't happen until Cain and Abel.
Then they did that.

Speaker 1 One of them got a

Speaker 1 horse's ass, and the other got the Philly Fanatic. One of them got the cat that's looking backwards over its tail? Yes.

Speaker 3 Did you know that you can only fold a piece of paper a maximum of seven times by hand?

Speaker 1 I did know that. And there's like the saltine thing, too.
Wait, what? It's like 10 saltines or something?

Speaker 1 I think it's seven saltines. Leroy beat the saltine challenge, though, when he was younger.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
One, two.

Speaker 1 By the way, Leroy's coming into the office tomorrow. He's getting eye surgery.
Three, four.

Speaker 1 He's not getting eye surgery in the office.

Speaker 1 All you listeners out there, if you're in the office tomorrow, say hello to me. Seven, eight.
You're just rolling it. Nine.
That's not. I just folded this nine times.

Speaker 3 All right, last

Speaker 3 How do you spell the sound of a sniff?

Speaker 1 How do you spell that? P-O-R-T-N-O-Y.

Speaker 1 No, it's.

Speaker 1 It's like a S-P-H-H-H-H-H.

Speaker 1 No. So P-S-H-H-H.

Speaker 1 No, that's not right either.

Speaker 1 It's F.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a.

Speaker 1 lot of F. F.
F and maybe an H or two. F H, F H, F, H?

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's a really good question.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have to think about this for the weekend. I love you guys.
Yeah, we'll get back to you. Love you.
Love you. I love you guys so much.
I love you. I'm also in love with you.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say, I'll stay anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is a hundred day to find you. Shy away,

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love okay.

Speaker 1 Shy away,

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love again.

Speaker 1 You've been so good to me.

Speaker 1 Give you in me.

Speaker 1 You've been so good to to me.

Speaker 1 You love sadly,

Speaker 1 take from me.

Speaker 1 Did I take it on to

Speaker 1 your own?

Speaker 1 Let's say

Speaker 1 I'm saying

Speaker 1 I'll wait.

Speaker 1 Something that the five is okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry. Do let me say

Speaker 1 every little I fall. But disappoint my worries away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember. The Yashinoi

Speaker 1 Love is coming for you from any life. The Yashinoi

Speaker 1 Love is coming for you from any life. You can't be afraid of me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.