Triple H, Nats Win, And Big Ben's Elbow Cast

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Triple H, the game. We went up to WWE headquarters, we sat across the room from Vince McMahon, we felt his presence, and we interviewed Triple H.
We also have playoff baseball, postseason baseball, Game 1, wildcard, NL, unreal ending. Game 163.
Game 163. We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and of course, because it is Wednesday, Guys on Chicks.
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Okay, let's go. No place to hang out or washin' And then I can't live all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by the App.
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Today is Wednesday, October 2nd, and Natitude is back. Natitude is back in a big way.
This is a milestone for Washington sports. The Nationals' first postseason series win of all time.
I'm very excited. 11 more.
We just got 11 more. And for people who are not watching, if you are, you're on barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Go download it right now. PFT is full kit wanker.
He's looking good. I'm half kit wanker.
I wish you had gone baseball pants. Well, I don't own baseball pants.
We've got to recognize that. I think any time somebody buys, an adult male buys a pair of baseball pants, they should be put on a no-fly list.
So we'll just have Bubba buy him for you. Yeah, Bubba, you can buy him.
Because he misses his flights anyway. Yeah, there you go.
You don't need to fly at all. I'll have metal spikes.
I'll have a belt. I'll have the stirrup socks, the whole nine yards.
I'm excited. I'm excited, and I can't help but be excited because it's a big deal in Washington to win a playoff series.

Trent Grisham.

Yikes.

So that is the name of your go to not in a good way.

Basically a little league play like what you're taught right away.

Don't let the ball get by you.

Get in front of that ball.

It was a routine single.

Josh Hader was not good. He did not have it.
i have a stat for you to tell you how stupid baseball is real quick i have a stat for you it's called ball don't lie yeah and the umpire was awful all night and so ball don't lie well okay in defense of the brewers which i do not want to do and i will uh i'm not going to stick it to the brewers i'm just going to say congratulations on getting to play one extra than the Cubs. That was great of you guys.
I do think that the ball might have hit that guy's bat first. It was simultaneous.
So that's one that people will argue and have fun arguing it because nothing can change. But that's the beauty of sports.
But baseball is the dumbest sport in the world. Josh Hader faced 66 left-handed hitters this year.
He gave up a single single to one of them he hadn't allowed two singles in the same appearance since may 27th and then that happened it was awesome and everyone and everyone enjoyed it and before the game i was very i was very very i was extremely different fans you know how you say cleveland indians and cleveland browns fans different? Packers owners are different from Milwaukee Brewers fans.

Cato Kalin is a Brewers fan.

I doubt that he owns a share of the pack.

But what I'm getting at here.

I'm actually going to go to his Twitter account.

Go ahead.

Oh, he went off King tonight, big time.

Before the game, I was very, very nervous because the Nationals manager accidentally

shaved his playoff beard before the playoffs even started.

But.

Which was a big, big no-no. The playoffs haven't started.
That was the postseason. The postseason, well, it's the same thing.
The postseason is what we're going into next. The playoffs are when you get your ass kicked by the Dodgers.
Okay, what's the difference between post Malone and playoff Malone? I don't know. Probably the beard.
When he has a scraggly beard, that's when it's the playoffs. But, yeah, he accidentally trimmed his he went no guard on it.
And it's happened to all of us before. We've been giving ourselves a little shave, a haircut.
You accidentally have the guard slip off, the clipper flies out, and boom, you take off a stretch of landing strip. So I'm beginning to think Team of Destiny.
Oh, the Nats? Yeah. Okay.
Prove me wrong. I think the Dodgers will.
Okay, that's actually a compelling point. It's brutal to have to go all the way to the West Coast after chugging a bunch of champagne in the locker room right now.
But, as they always say, happy to do it. I'm going to savor this one.
I'm absolutely going to savor it. Max Scherzer, by the way, speaking of the Dodgers, Max Scherzer had a little of his own mini Kershaw going with not looking good the first couple innings.
Then he settled down. He settled down.
I mean, it's crazy. If you're a Brewers fan, I don't think you can get lower than that because that is truly a game that was snatched from the jaws of victory, whatever the fucking saying is.
They snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Correct.
That game was over. I don't know if you should have pulled hater there maybe i mean he was wild but fuck that is that's a brutal brutal law and that's that is like we said that is a t-ball level like error that you make yeah admittedly i haven't watched a lot of haters pitching but when he came in he just looked like a guy that can't find the strike zone well it's like a wild.
Cato Kaelin said, Hater has lost five games he's pitched at the Brewers and blew the game in Colorado where he wouldn't have had to play wild card. The worst.
Counselor, you make more gaffes than a gaffer on film set. That's good.
Oh, that's a little double entendre. Don't manage next year.
Everyone knew Hater would choke except except you even hater knew he'd choke poop emoji kato let's not say things we can't take back former guest of the show by the way damn oh wait here's another one council obviously the the all caps is when i'm young council you blew it pomerantz only three 19 pitches i I think he meant throw. Let him throw more.

Haters face before. He came in and said defeat and diarrhea.
Goodbye, Twitter. You suck, Milwaukee Brewers.
Oh, no, Kato. He came in and said defeat and diarrhea and weird caps.
He went back and forth there, switching back and forth. Kato, I thought you would be a guy that would stand up for your friends.
You've changed, man. Again, I'm not going to be a sour loser because the Cubs didn't do anything in the Central this year and they fumbled down the stretch, so I'm not going to stick it to Brewers fans, but I will point out the fact that Christian Jelic would not have made that error in right field.
Definitely not. Absolutely not.
I'm just going to point that out. I'm just going to point that out.
And we overcame a lot of adversity in the game, too.

This was tweeted out, I think, in the fourth inning when we were trailing.

This is from Brad Todd.

The guy's fucking name is Brad Todd.

That's actually awesome.

That's Chad.

That is so Chad.

That's very Chad.

That's Alpha Chad.

Admittedly, that's Chad.

Yeah, that's Chad fucking a verge.

And he says, two dudes on my row.

I'm going to switch out dudes to verges.

Two verges on my row came back with cans of hard seltzer at a playoff game, mind you. Washington's baseball fan base deserves all the ridicule it gets.
Ooh, Brad Todd. Yeah.
On the laws. Classic Brad Todd move right there to tweet that out.
Brad Todd. Ooh.
Yeah, so playoff baseball is here. It takes forever, but, I mean, it was an exciting game.
What are you going to say? It was – and shout out to all the people who bet the over because you thought for a second you had a chance. And I've never seen someone happier to get tagged out in a rundown.
Oh, he's pumped. He was so pumped.
He was so pumped. The thing about betting on baseball, that's how they get you, is the one-and-a-half run line.
It's like, oh oh that's basically just a win no it's actually it's two runs well and and the bur and the nationals really had no business winning the game so winning by one and a half would just get greedy also hank you you started out rocky tonight laughing in my face at a home run that didn't go over that i thought was going over you were just excited to see me in misery which i get i mean i enjoy having big cat on this show after a devastating playoff loss I think more than anyone more than well more than most and uh Hank was kind of rubbing in my face a little bit but then Hank turned it around by texting Marlon's man for me and telling him to turn his visor at the Nationals dugout and everything turned around after that in Hank's defense I think it's going to take it takes at least one game adjustment to get used to natitude pft natitude pf like when we came out of wherever we were in and it was already two nothing and you look like you wanted to cry i was like wait i came around the corner and we do we do live streaming all the time here and i came around the corner and you're wearing your full uh your full kit and there was like a plot fly that you thought was a home run and you basically dropped to your knees and had your hand on your head and were like, no! I was laughing because I thought you were over-exaggerating or doing something, and then you gave me the big cat dust thing. You turned around and gave me the, like, don't you ever fucking smile again.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I was like, oh. It's going to take – we are now transitioned to season like it took a game we weren't ready for it we didn't know you're gonna show up in a full jersey here's a fact nobody in the world has been a nats fan for as long as i have i'm tied tied tied with a lot with probably two million people well no actually that's not true because aren't there original uh washington senator fans that's not the Nats.
They moved to Texas. Yeah, no.
Do a research. So are they Expos fans then? Expos fans.
Who stayed. There's someone in Montreal who's wearing a Scherzer jersey right now who's over the moon.
Ale la natitude. Yeah, he's just so, so happy.
Natitude sounds like a beautiful French word. He's so, so happy.
I want to tongue kiss it and not bathe and eat cheese. All right.
And then tomorrow night we get the Rays versus the Ace. All right.
The toilet bowl of MLB. Now I'm.
No, I actually. I'm going to tongue kiss it and not bathe and eat cheese.
All right. And then tomorrow night we get the Rays versus the A's.
All right. The toilet bowl of MLB.
And now I'm – Who is MLB root for in that? I was about to say there's going to be Rays fans mad, but there's – I mean, maybe third leg Greg. Like, that's it.
I don't even know. Dickie V.
Yeah, he'll be upset. He'll do a periscope.
That will be great. One-eyed dick.
The tough part is anytime Tampa Bay loses anything, a lot of people die of stress it actually does happen it's an epidemic i'll be rooting for the a's because i want our

friend dallas braden to be in the mix uh and go and have to play the astros alex bregman by the way on the show on friday uh all right let's get to the rest of the show we have to at least address Big Ben on Monday Night Football

in a full cast

and then at halftime

when... Big Ben on Monday Night Football in a full cast.
And then at halftime, when Mason Rudolph looked pretty good, threw on the sling. He got more injured as the game went along while he was talking into his not plugged in walkie talkie.
Well, it was either plugged into nobody or it was just plugged into his Madden Xbox lobby. So he could hear his friends talking talking i don't know what it was but yeah he injured himself by being more injured and then he comes out with a sling when first of all where does where does ben just get that sling at halftime does he try to go into the training room they're like hey ben you're not playing or is his locker like a bat cave of medical devices that he opens up takes a deep breath he's like all right master ben i i think he probably asked the doctor he's like hey doc my arm is hurting he's like ben it's in a cast and he's like yeah but my arm's hurting he's like all right take these two tylenol and put on this sling i mean a sling actually is pretty comfortable it's a hammock for your arm why he didn't have it on to begin with yeah the cast was so fucking funny mason rudolph not bad i can tell you can tell the rising tide of Steeler fans being like, why not? Because, you know, the division leader right now is two and two and then the Bengals.
Who is it? Is that it for Andy Dalton? Are we done? Well, I looked at who we done here. You know who their backup is? No, right.
Your bump. Ryan Finley.
Yeah. Your bump.
Yeah. It's Ryan Finley.
I looked up his stats. I just Googled him.
Yeah. It popped up on the main Google search.
He's six, three and 185 pounds. I want to see that guy in a game.
Terrell Suggs could floss with him. That's how, that's how narrow he is.
Andy Dalton. Like, I feel bad because he's a nice guy.
We've had him on the show, but I think we're done here. I think it's, it's time to because the Bengals are terrible.
They did him no service by basically letting him get smoked every single play. And the play calling, it felt like every time the Bengals had like four passes in a row, they're like, let's just run it three times and just see if this will work.
That's not very Sean McVay of Zach Taylor. Yeah, by the way, Zach Taylor, Vic Fangio, Vic Fangio and four.
Good, good looking Cliff Kingsbury and Brian Flores all have zero wins. Interesting.
Four new coaches all have zero wins. I don't think that's ever happened.
They got to appreciate that about the other ones though. That's like, they're all separate.
Like, fuck. They're on a group text.
They're like, yo, way to do a solid for Zach. Like Brian Flores texted him last night.
He's like, yo, thanks, man, because the heat's getting hotter for all of us. But they have like a pact, one of those, like when all the teenagers get pregnant at the same time.
Wasn't there a movie about that? Mine was like the opposite. It was just lose your virginity.
Yeah, pregnancy pact. We'll worry about the sperm hitting the egg later.
Yeah, they all have a pact to just never Win a football game yeah uh I want to talk real quick about just the uh the entire aesthetic of Big Ben on the sidelines and how he looked how he appeared because he looked healthier on the sidelines than he looks during games yes like he was moving around I think he gets healthier the more he gets injured if that makes sense because he had some spunk in his step he was very demonstrative. He was like jogging back and forth.
I like Big Ben injured on the sidelines better than I like him in a game. Yes, I agree.
I agree. He looked like he was having more fun doing that.
Like it was a live version of playing Madden for him. Yeah, we need to have like when Big Ben retires, just make him stand on the sideline in a big cast.

In a cast that just gets bigger as the weeks go on.

Can you imagine how bad the inside of his cast smells?

Like, Big Ben's arm.

Yes.

That smells like Tiger Woods golf clubs.

I'm surprised he didn't have people just start signing it.

On the sideline?

Yeah, everyone.

Everyone huddle around.

Mason Rudolph's getting a little too much pub here.

Just bottle up his arm sweat and use it to, like, keep deer away from people's crops.

Yes.

Just, like, drop it on the fence post.

I'm not sure. Everyone huddle around.
Mason Rudolph's getting a little too much pub here. Just bottle up his arm sweat and use it to keep deer away from people's crops.
Just drop it on a fence post. I'll tell you what.
If the Steelers beat the Ravens this weekend, watch out. Then the terrible towers are really breaking out, and everyone's saying the Stellars are going to go to the playoffs.
Two words for you. AFC North football this weekend.
Yep. Back.
It's back. Thank God that the Steelers won so that we can have a semi-relevant game between the two.
Would have sucked for our own four. I hope when Ben goes into the Hall of Fame, he's got a giant neck brace on, on the bust.
Just put, how big would a neck brace have to be to fit around Ben's neck? It would have to be like a twin-size mattress. I hope they do old-school Big Ben long hair on the bust.
Ooh, and the – Just the flow. And the fedora.
Yeah, the big booger Ben is what I called it when he looked like he slipped back his hair. Oh, so good.
So that was Monday Night Football. Let's do some hot seat cool thrown and then get to Triple H.
Hank, hot seat cool thrown. My hot seat is Dame Lillard.
Okay. So he recently went, I feel like we've talked about this show a lot recently, but he went on the Joe Budden podcast and they were asking him about rappers.
Is that the guy with, oh, not the vice president? No. They said, he basically, because he was talking about Shaq and he said the only reason he was popular was because he was Shaq and a famous athlete, not because he was a good rapper, which Shaq took great offense to.
Because it's true. Because it's true, but obviously, you know, he took offense to it, which led to him dropping a diss track.
He had a couple bars, such as MVP Candidate, MVP Candidate, You Are Not One, lyrically, I'm three-time finals MVP. MVP Candidate, You Are Not One? That rolls off the top.
That's pretty good, yeah. It's Drake-like.
Sounds pretty devastating, though. Damn, he burned him.
So Dame just sat there and took it like Drake, or did he come back on him? He came back on him. Wait, wait.
Did he clap back? He clapped back with a diss track of his own. It was okay, but the problem was that Shaq's diss track went harder, and Shaq has the power of inside the NBA, Kenny, Chuck, to just all season long go at Dame Lillard.
And Dame Lillard's in Portland, not a big market. I feel like this is one of those things where Dame Lillard's going to regret it because he's just going to be like, Shaq's going to be on his shit all year long.
Although that can turn on Shaq because when Kenny and Charles go at Shaq, it's the funniest thing ever. He becomes the big puddle.
He just sits there and just like, why are you being so mean to me? Is there a way to do it without doing a disc track? Because I think incorporating a full song kind of opens you up to a lot of criticism. Maybe the beat's not as good as it could be.
Maybe your rapping voice isn't as great as your lyrics are. What about disc poetry? Slam poetry? I like you and go on CJ McCollum's podcast on his fucking podcast and do like snap poetry take your time to respond there is no hurry you'll never be Westbrook never be Steph Curry oh what's in your wallet American Express or Visa talking like your brawn you ain't even Trevor Ariza okay so setting that up actually incorrect American Express and Visa was that's that's he's trying too hard to rhyme.
He wrote Ariza, and then he was like, I need something that rhymes with Ariza. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
What's your cool throne? I took a pill in Ibiza. My cool throne is Gucci Man.
Yeah? He signed an endorsement deal with Gucci. That seems like it should have happened a while ago.
I know. Is that not the reason for his name to begin with?

He didn't invent Gucci?

Well, no, he just, that was, he would talk about it a lot.

But finally, after all these years,

many people have been clamoring for it.

That's a pity deal, though.

It is. Gucci's like, yo, we got so many years of free publicity.

That's like giving Joe Theismann a Heismann award right now.

Yeah, like, what are you doing?

Like, it's already happened.

We've already gotten all the free publicity out of this, out of the Gucci Man brain. Because Theismann changed his name.
It was Theismann. And then he wanted to win...
Hank gave me a look like, what? He wanted to win the Heismann Trophy when he was in college, so he changed the pronunciation of his name to Theismann from Theismann, and he still didn't win. Are you being brutal? I'm dead serious.
It's pretty much the exact same thing that Gucci Man is going through right now. Well, except it worked out for Gucci Man.
Yeah, he did. He won the high speed.
Has he ever broken his leg? Nobody's killed someone. Okay.
Oh. All right.
So about even Stevenson. It was self-defense, so he got off.
Oh. All right.
Good for him. We're doing something new every day.
All right, P.L.T., what do you got? My hot seat is romance. Yeah? Because a Utah woman was attacked by a bison just months after.
Bison. It's a bison.
Bison is plural. The football team, yeah, yeah.
So she was attacked by a bison on a date, and it turns out it was just months after her date went to that park, and he had gotten attacked by a bison. So he decided to go back to the park, this time with a date, and then she got attacked.
Got it. So his first date got killed? No, he was attacked personally the first time.
Yep. And then he decided he would take a date there a couple months later, and then she got attacked by a bison.
I can actually see the reasoning. Like lightning doesn't strike twice, same place twice.
A bison doesn't attack the same guy twice, maybe. I don't't know he probably brought her along as protection against the bison what was he wearing oh hank don't do that don't do that we were by he was dressed as a as a blade of grass yeah that's which was tough but yeah uh boy hey i did i did note that in the story they kept referring to the guy as her date so she kept calling him, not her boyfriend, which very clearly means that they're no longer an item.

They would have been.

They would have been if she hadn't gotten gored.

First date getting bison attacked is probably not great for the for the rest of the relationship.

It's also just God saying maybe this relationship isn't meant to be.

Yeah.

If nature is attacking you or don't live in North Dakota or there's bison everywhere.

Yeah.

By the way, Utah. Huge comeback for bison because I thought they were extinct.
Yeah, I did too. They're back.
Big come up for bison. My other hot seat is brands because California just allowed college athletes to make money off their likenesses by allowing student athletes to get endorsements.
And some media watchdogs out there are very concerned about how this is going to affect brands. Here's a good test to see if it's good or bad for student athletes to start making money off their likeness.
If it's good, that means most people agree with it. Or sorry, if it's a bad thing, that means everyone's like, I don's a good if it's a bad thing that means everyone's

like i don't know if it's a good thing that means revelle gottlieb and dan dockage are all opposed that's a yeah the three horsemen of the brand apocalypse revelle i don't know what i don't know who's paying revelle where he is so opposed to this when the biggest argument against like letting kids make money off their likeness

is that it will make it

unfair and So opposed to this when the biggest argument against like letting kids make money off their likeness is that it will make it unfair.

And the same six to eight college football teams win the national title, which is no different than it is right.

It happens the exact same way right now.

And then some people are saying that LeBron James endorsed it and that he got out in front of it because his son is about to be a college athlete, so he wants his son to make money. That's not it.
That's not what's happening. He wants the players to get paid so they're more likely to stay in college, the elite players, so they don't come to the NBA and compete against him.
That's what's really happening. If you're in high school right now and you're a five-star recruit, you should be staying back as much as you can.
Yes. Yeah.
Keep staying back. Don't go to school.
Keep failing. Whoever that person is in the class of whatever the last year is, like 2022, that's terrible.
I really don't understand how anyone could argue against this. It makes no sense.
So here's the argument. You can't allow me to play devil's advocate.
Go ahead. If we allow companies to pay athletes, then you'll get Alabama boosters that pay a shitload of money to players to come to their school that don't actually do real jobs in this crazy situation that I just made up in my head.
Would Georgia too? Georgia would probably do it. Clemson? USC might buy houses for student athletes.
It's great, too, because under these like weird arguments that the people opposed to this make it's like these uh fictitious car dealers in alabama are going to give millions and millions and millions of dollars every single year to five-star recruits like i think we can let like free market play that out and it'll just be a bad investment in just a business giving 18-year-olds millions of dollars year after year. And so Florida's trying to respond to it, and Florida's putting their own bill out there to try to compete just for recruits.
It's just for recruiting purposes. Because right now what we're looking at is actually a nightmare.
If it's California, that's the only state that can do it, because they'll re-release NCAA football, but it'll be all shitty Pac-12 teams that we'll have to play with. Yeah.
That sucks. Pac-12 will finally be back.
Larry Scott will figure out a way to fuck this up. He'll skim some off the top.
Did you see Jay Billis took a little shot at Mark Titus? He was like, it doesn't matter if you're LeBron James or Mark Titus or somewhere in between. Jay, last I checked, our friend Mark Titus is a better college basketball player than LeBron James.
He's played more minutes. He's got more rebounds.
Fouls. He's not been drafted in the first round more often between years of college.
Went to a Final Four. Went to a Final Four.
Won a Big Ten. The list goes on for Mark Titus.
Yes. As far as I'm concerned, he's college basketball royalty.
Mark Titus is a better college basketball player than LeBron James. You and I are the same exact level college basketball player as LeBron James.
That's a fact. Facts.
My cool throne is numerology. Ooh.
Because Gardner Minshew's completion rate right now is 69.420. Retire.
Sir. So just quit.
Either that or retire. I mean, there's a good chance Rob Gronkowski just decides to play for the Jags instead when he sees this.
But we're not forcing 69 jokes on people. We're not doing that.
But it does make sense because permission to make a Rick Riley joke. Yeah.
He's beaten the Broncos and he's beaten the Titans. So he's pretty good at licking teams that suck.
Ooh, okay.

2.25.

Okay, so it's above the two grade.

Thank you.

That's nice.

I actually think Gardner Minshew is just invented by the internet to give us content.

It's unbelievable.

It really is. Okay, my hot seat is Hank and PFT's Patriots.

Excuse me?

Yeah, yeah.

Bill Belichick said before the game against the Redskins this weekend, all three QBs look pretty good, talking about the Redskins, and said it's a very well-designed offense, very well-balanced. The Redskins' offense is 28th.
And all three QBs stink. Well, it's tough to game plan against three different quarterbacks that suck for different reasons.
Belichick was also quoted last week as saying he does not care about numbers or stats. He just says what he looks at on the film.
Stats are for losers. I just love the ongoing Bill Belichick trying to find a way to compliment terrible teams to get his team motivated.
It is good. It's so good.
They can do things. You've got Case Ke case keenum who sucks because he sucks you've got colt mccoy who sucks because he's coming off of a leg injury that was mismanaged and then you've got dwayne haskins who sucks because he shouldn't be playing right now correct so which one of those pick your poison bill belichick a lot of suck um all right our cool throne my cool throne is our football heroes because we had multiple stories today.
We had a piece about Coach O in The Athletic where they told about him shotgunning Red Bulls, how before every single game he punches himself, quote, he gets your hands up, be ready to fight, be ready to take a lick in the face, and single saturday in his pregame speech he punches himself in the face hard as shit yeah and we've seen it we've seen him set your jaw right set your jaw i told you set your jaw it's one of those existential questions yeah like uh is coach o strong enough to break his own iron jaw no i don't well then you're saying he's weak no jaw is so strong yeah but then you you're saying that his arms are weak no his jaw is too strong his jaw would beat his arms in an arm wrestling they're actually tied yeah i think he knocked out a tooth i think that was also a story he knocked out his own tooth and then the other uh football legend that we have is the story of andy reed who uh once ate a 40 ounce in 19 minutes. That's pretty impressive.
That's pretty impressive. Where was he timed? Was this at one of those restaurants? It was Prime Quarter, and they both ordered a giant 40-ounce steak, and the waitress said, if you eat this thing in under an hour, you get your picture on the wall in a chef's hat and all that.
Say no more. And Andy ate it in 19 minutes.
He had 41 minutes to spare. Say less, ma'am.
I think that probably a 40-ounce steak is a unit of time measurement for Andy Reid. Yeah, it's about how much time we got left.
Three timeouts. We got two porterhouses left.
That's probably why he's so bad at managing the clock. He just thinks of everything in terms of how much time it would take me to eat this thing of meat.
Yeah, let's run our skirt steak offense. Yeah.
We got 40 seconds left. Just steer that for me.
Fucking perfect. God damn it.
So our football heroes are intact. You love to see stories like that.
All right, let's get to our interview with Triple H. It was an awesome interview.
We went up to WWE headquarters. So before we do that, football fans, are you an Amazon Prime member? Did you know that you have Thursday Night Football? That's right.
Thursday Night Football has returned to Prime Video for a third season. The cool thing is you can catch all the action on your TV, on the web, or on your mobile, anywhere in the world, and the experience is next level.
With Prime Video's X-Ray feature, you can access next-gen stats, play history, and team information. And now it's available on iOS, Android, Fire tablets, and Fire TV.
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You get 15% off your first pair and free shipping. Okay, here he is, Triple H.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, hero of mine. It is Triple H, 14-time world champion.
When we're airing this on October 2nd, you're going to be watching them that night usa network nxt uh they're going to the usa network so you can watch them every single wednesday night is that right yeah every wednesday night two hours live you know we've been in wednesdays since the beginning um kind of been our time slot for nxt on the wwe network so this is the same time slot just shifting over and going to two hours live. Okay, nice.
But obviously increases the viewability. Yes.
Because it goes from the network, which is a very limited subscriber base, to USA. Get ready.
90 million people or whatever. So I wanted to actually start it with the interview with your nicknames through the years.
And I want you to rank them. Can you rank them for got triple h we have the game we have uh terror rising which is yeah we're really far the worst yeah uh reginald depends on how you depends on how you look at the terrorizing one it's either the best or okay yeah you spell rising in a cool like with a z yeah yeah that's awesome yeah so There's a story to that as well okay so tell it yeah well kowalski when so when i started training very shortly after i started training kowalski was going to have me do the first show was actually something that didn't happen was a tour he was going to take everybody on to south america that never materialized he needed uh names and stuff for the uh cards and i just started like i hadn't even had a live match yet and so he said i'm gonna put your name on there what do you want your name to be and i was like i don't know i hadn't really thought about it yet you know trying to think of something and uh he said i'm gonna call you the terrorizer and i was, that's terrible.
Yeah. And to me, he just sounded like the Bruiser or the Crusher, like so 70s wrestler.
And I was like, can't I just have a name, like a first name and a last name? And he got, like in typical Kowalski fashion, got very upset and was like, you want the first name and the last name? Great. Then he took a magic marker and drew a line in the middle of the terror rising rising yeah and uh he said now you have two names terror rising there you go right and so then it came back and it was spelled wrong yeah when the stuff came back which was never used but then when i had my first match that's what they used so they just kind of stuck with me I went to WCW, they were like, was that your wrestling, terrorizing? Is your wrestling name thing? I'm like, that's the name Kowalski gave me when I was training.
Don't worry about it. We're going to repackage you anyways.
And you'll have a whole new gimmick when you get started with us. And that weekend, I went home, and my dark match aired on Saturday night television on Turner,

on TBS that weekend.

My dark match, which wasn't supposed to ever see the light of day,

was on the air and listed me out as terrorizing,

and I called him that Monday and was like,

Yeah.

Why would that was on?

I thought you were going to repackage me,

and it's the best answer I ever got from Bischoff.

He said, Ah, don't worry about it.

No one watches these shows anyway. There you go.
genius so what's number one for me yeah um the game i think i just because it was so one it came um fans kind of did it like king of kings cerebral assassin king of kings i said in a promo yeah cerebral assassin was jr You know he just would call me that in commentary all the time uh the game was just something that came up in in a promo i did with jr where um and it was at the time when you know we were just kind of moving into the attitude era or really entrenched in the attitude era i was known as triple h by then because i didn't want to change from Hunter Hurst Helmsley as the Attitude Era came. I wanted to keep the value of what that was, but clearly the name wasn't the best.
And everybody called me Triple H backstage, so that's what we went with. The game was just in a promo where, as I was kind of cutting a breakout promo with JR backstage, I said, you know, you guys, everybody here is getting put into positions that they don't deserve.
You talk about success here. You got to be a student of the game.
I'm beyond that, man. You want to talk about that, fuck that.
I am the game. Badass.
Yeah. Yes.
And that week when I came out on TV, there were a lot of signs, Triple H is the game, all that stuff.

And as soon as I saw it, I was like, oh, man, that resonated. So then I just started calling myself that all the time, and it stuck.
And then with the Motorhead song. And then, yeah, so that was slightly down the line from there.
There was a period of time where they wanted to get me some new entrance music from the My Time stuff, which was a great song, but they wanted to shift it

and do something more based on me and the point that I was in in my career. I had a specific sound I wanted, and they kept trying to make the music.
To me, it wasn't really working. It wasn't rough enough.
It wasn't raw enough and didn't feel just guttural. I remember speaking to Kevin Dunn one day, and they played me a bunch of cuts, and I'm like, I don't like it.
It's just not what I want. And he said, well, what is it? Give me an example of something you want.
I said, I want it to sound like Motorhead, like that just raw, gritty feel and that voice. And he said, well, why don't we just see if they can do it? And I was like, because I didn't know that was an option.
And they called him. And I had never met Lem at that time.
They cut the song. I loved it.
Then I met them. And then he and I became really, really close friends for years.
Lemmy seems like a cool guy. Like, to just pick up the phone and be like, yeah, I will do Triple H's intro music for him.
So here's the thing, too, is he wasn't a fan. And he told me this story after.
He said, no, I didn't know who you were um but i can't remember they were in like berlin or something and or hamburg i think it was and um lem went in and tried to do the song a couple of times and he hated the the cut that they had sent over and so there's a version of the song that they had recorded he hated it so he rewrote it and rewrote all the lyrics um but before he did that he tried to do a cut of it and he was like i i don't know what you're trying to get out of this guy like i don't know anything about him so they sent them pictures in a video he said he watched the video it was me in some match bleeding and everything and he watched the video saw the pictures and said i can i can do this guy and went in and cut it in one And they sent it over to me, and I was like, I love it. That's perfect.
Yeah, perfect. And then, of course, then they did other songs.
They did King of Kings for me also, and then they did Line in the Sand for Evolution. And then he had written a song for me as well called Triple H that they never recorded.
Then I did a track with them on Hammered, their album, called Serial Killer, where they synced our voices together on a spoken track. That's awesome.
And then an interesting story of right before sort of his passing, the last album they put out had Sympathy for the Devil on him, had Heroes by Bowie. we're the ones that talked him into doing those i wanted him to do a cover album we were going to split it we were going to take the digital and they were going to take the the um the vinyl and uh we met with lemon in uh la at staples center after show and we talked about it and uh one of our music guys suggested guys suggested, maybe you could even do a rap song or something.
Oh, fuck that. I mean, his eyes bugged out of his head, and he was like, fucking rap? I would pay good money, though, to listen to a Motorhead song when we were trying to rap over it.
But he didn't want to do, Heroes he was all into, we made a list of songs, and then they did some, and we picked some. Sympathy for the Devil was one that I suggested because I could just picture his voice doing it or imagine it.
He didn't want to do it. Then they recorded it, but he left out a whole verse.
When I called him, I was like, Lem, it's awesome, but you left out a whole verse. He's like, it's too long.
I'm not doing it. I want to do the whole song.
The song's too damn long. I said, it's not the song if you don't do the whole thing.
Everybody knows that song. You got to do the whole thing.
He's like, all right, whatever. So he went back in the studio, and they finished recording it.
But it's awesome. And they've used it for commercials.
That's incredible. Those are two of my favorite songs that they've done, actually.
It's like that cover album was intense. It was awesome.
Yeah. We were going to do a whole album of it and then towards the end we have one of the last interviews he did here i did it with cory graves and myself went to uh um the rainbow and did an interview with lemmy this is not long before he passed because i he kind of when i had seen him the time before that I think he knew, like, coming to a close.
And he talked about us doing an interview, and he was going to try to do this cover album. So he just kind of wanted to get in a room and talk and record it.
So that's what we kind of did. And Corey Graves came to kind of, like, be a moderator and ask questions and all that stuff.

And he told me that day that they were going to put it on.

They were coming out with a new album and they were going to put it on there because he just, he wanted to get the stuff out.

He was actually mad because I think Heroes didn't make the album.

I think they put it out later.

One of the two songs didn't make the album and he was,

the day that we had the rainbow, he still really mad at todd their manager because todd couldn't fit it on the album and todd was trying to say like there's only so much room right on the vinyl to put like i can't make more room on the cut out uh you know right yeah yeah so but um But it was really, really cool.

He was a

really close friend of mine.

One other nickname I want to get to

is Jean-Paul Levesque

that you had. So you were a French-Canadian

aristocrat.

Actually, he was supposed to be a French aristocrat.

There's a

transition of

the booking team in

WCW when I'm there. It's's a mess.
You know, everything's all over the place there. And Flair now is taking the booking.
So I get a call one day, and they're not really doing that much with me. I get a call from him one day, and he says, we need you to come to CNN and shoot these interviews.
And I'm like, that's a good sign. For me to have to go do interviews, that's good.
And I get there, and I see them, and they're like, hey, we like your last name, Levesque, so we're going to go with that. And I'm like, it's a very common last name, like if you're from the Northeast or whatever, and they're like, it's very unique.
We want you to do that. So go in the other room and cut promos on Alex Wright in French.
And I'm like, whoa, I don't speak any French whatsoever. But your last name.
Yeah, that's what they said. But your last name is French.
And I'm like, I know, but I don't have any association to that at all. And they were like, well, go in the other room and cut promos with a French accent then.
Because that's what you're going to be. You're going to be John Paul.
And I was like, oh, my God. I went in the other room and there's just one interview that that lives out there somewhere that is me doing like the worst inspector cluzo oh that's kind of accent trying to do this french accent on alex right and um yeah like be a french guy and so then and then i when i left i did the interviews and when i was walking out i said so what is the character like what do you guys want me to do? And they were like, you figure it out.
That's your job. Yeah, you're just a French guy.
You're French. So, yeah, so I just went home and was like, what would get me the absolute most possible heat I could get? And I just went with a aristocrat.
I wore, like, a lace jabot and worn, like, hip wader boots and had stuff made and was like, it's the most heat I could possibly think of getting. And it got a huge reaction, right? And once that got a reaction, Regal then got the call and was like, we're going to put you guys together as like this aristocrat tag team.
And we were supposed to be called the Blue Bloods. And they were taking, Sherry Martell was with Harlem Heat.
They were taking Sherry Martell from Harlem Heat and putting her with us. And Sherry and I actually went and I went with her.
She asked me to go with her. She came with me to help me find these boots and I went with her to help get some dresses like they were doing, like the big.
Like Marie Antoinette? Yeah, Marie Antoinette dresses. And she started to to get them but then my contract was up and i ended up leaving so it never came to be damn could have been the aristocrats the blue bloods um exactly the craziest part about your career is that at 14 you knew you wanted to be a wrestler and then you just became one is that right i mean you like i mean most people weren't quite that simple well when i was 14 i wanted to be a wrestler and i just thought that like stone cold stunning all my friends would get me there you actually were like, I mean, most people, when I was 14, I wanted to be a wrestler.
And I just thought that like stone cold stunning, all my friends would get me there. You actually were like, Hey, I'm going to lift weights and become a wrestler.
And I mean, it's crazy though, to know that. Did you know that literally at 14, you're like, this is what I want to do.
And I'm going to get there any way I can. I pretty much think that was in my head.
Yeah. Like that's the thing.
Like, you know, sometimes people will say about me, Oh, uh, well, he came from a bodybuilding background and come about my bodybuilding background. I, I competed in a couple of shows as a teenager because it helped motivate me to train.
Uh, but the goal was never, Oh, I'm going to be a pro bodybuilder or anything else. The goal was I went to the gym at 14 to try to get bigger because all the guys I looked at on TV that were pro wrestlers were big and huge and muscular and strong.
And to me, that's where you needed to be. So, okay, so I got to get there and just systematically went at it.
And then as I got bigger and got later, probably like around my 20 years old or something like that,

I realized, all right, so now I've got to try to find a way to get trained,

which was not easy at the time.

Was able to get Kjola Kowalski's information, started training with him.

And that is one of the things that for me, when I went to Kowalski's the first time,

there's a lot of guys in there that were 150 pounds and little, and they're just in there playing wrestler and stuff. Why'd you look at me when you said little? They would wear sunglasses and their hair down, and they were like, oh, I'm a wrestler.
A bunch of assholes. Yeah, got it.
But Kowalski saw me walk in the door and was like, wow, look at this kid coming in here. I was like 260, 270 at the time and he was like yeah, so I'm going to work with you.
So he would let other guys just get in the ring, do whatever they were doing, he wouldn't even pay attention when I would come there he would get in the ring with me and spend a lot of time me and Perry Saturn also, he spent a lot of time with Perry. Is it crazy to look now because I know you opened the whole facility in Orlando where you're training wrestlers and everything.
And you're like, I started in, I would assume killer Kowalski's gym was not state of the art at the time. It was probably a, a like rundown warehouse or something.
It was a rundown warehouse. No heat, hardly any heat, no AC.
Um, and we, we were learning in a boxing ring. So boxing ring has no give to it.
It's had a metal pole, an I-beam in the center that held the ring stiff. So it had no give, but I didn't know the difference.
I thought that's – I was like, man, this – My back hurts every day. Yeah, this is brutal, right? But that's what it was.
So that's how I learned to wrestle. The first time – I didn't wrestle in a real wrestling ring, like one that we would use, which people think is like a trampoline.
It's not. It has some give to it, though.
I didn't wrestle in one of those until the first time I went to a show. And the first time I went to a show and worked in a ring that was an actual ring, I was like, oh, my God.
This is like bouncing on my bed. Yeah, right.
Comparatively to the concrete that I've been landing on since I've been training, I didn't know the difference. It's crazy that I just think about how your career spanning from that moment, going on an I-beam in Killer Kowalski's gym in a warehouse, and now you have a whole facility in Orlando.
Yeah, and that's what people ask me when we first built it, what would Kowalski say? I'd say he would say we made a bunch of pussies. Yeah, yeah.
But his version of if you did something wrong, he had a bag, a little plastic bag with a knot tied in the top of it, and he had phone books in it from whatever it was, Wolfham or wherever we were, the town that the school was in. And if you did stuff wrong, he'd call you over, he would hit you in the head with the bag of phone books.
The bag of phone books. Yeah, out of nowhere.
Like, pow! He didn't tell you you did it wrong. You could have just told me.
And most times you never saw it coming. Right.
I mean, you guys should try to do something like that in your gym where you just, I don't know, cut the heat off. Well, it's Orlando, so probably cut the AC off.
Yeah. Bring back the phone books.
Yeah, make it. You of iPhones.
He would always do this thing, too, where when you're first learning, you whack your elbows all the time, your bursar sacks will swell up. You see these guys with these big, huge...
It's like a fluid... Val Kilmer had that in heat.
Yeah, yeah. A huge one, right? So, when you first start, you get those a lot.
And they're big. know if you leave them alone they drain on their you know they fade on their own or you can get them drained or whatever Gowalski would just either take the phone books he would tell you put your hand behind your head hold it like this and pull your elbow in and then either whack it with the phone book or just push you like he would say stand two feet from that wall and have you stand this.
And then he'd get behind you and shove you as hard as you could into the wall. So you'd smash your elbow into the brick and pop.
It would pop everywhere? It would pop, not pop out, but like pop internally. Yeah, right.
You know what I mean? And drain the fluid. And feel wonderful.
Yeah. Right afterwards.
He's basically a doctor. Yeah.
So PFT and I are both 34 Attitude Era guys. Do you feel any responsibility for having an entire generation go around and say, suck it to each other? So right around the Hall of Fame time, Sean and I, we were all talking about that and saying how interesting of a time that was and all this stuff stuff and uh you know especially for us because you know we it just started organically but when women started showing us their boobs and like the whole thing in arenas and um right around that time this video surfaced of these kids talking about being suspended from school for saying suck it and it was like oh god like i God.
Like I, you know, now with a dad, with kids and I'm like, Oh, poor kids. But it was pretty awesome.
Every middle school in America had some kid that got in trouble for telling the vice principal to suck it. Yeah.
It's a cultural impact. Yes.
Yeah. No, you know, and on the flip side of that, it was every, uh, Monday and Sunday as football was happening, you were seeing guys do the same thing and, you know, they'd score a touchdown or they'd sack a quarterback and get up and do the crotch chop and the whole thing.
And yeah, it really was. When you think about that time frame, Rock put words in the dictionary.
We put mannerisms and sayings and phrases and almost that attitude. Austin, who didn't want to be the guy stunning their boss and flipping him off and drinking beer over his, you know, unconscious body? Yeah.
So do you still, every now and then, like maybe after like a good gym session, like just quick suck it in the mirror? Every now and then. Yeah.
Trust me, there are a lot of people on a daily basis that I would like to tell.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So we, one time, it was a bad mistake that we made.

We tried to come up with a greeting for our podcast listeners to say hi to us.

And we were talking to Lenny Dykstra at the time, and Lenny told us to suck his dick.

And we said, okay, our podcast greeting is tell us suck our dicks when you see us. So we have now a bunch of people that come up to us and say hey what's up pft suck my dick like in a friendly voice yeah i would imagine that you have people that come up to you and give you the dx yeah and say sorry wait what the hell like wait don't dx me all the all the time where people will ask to do the crotch job or do whatever it is and um yeah sometimes it it's a funny thing too because now, unfortunately, as we get older, a lot of the people that are still doing that stuff or that were in that era are now like you guys.
They're in their late 30s or something. And they've got kids.
So their kid's there. And now all of a sudden the dad forgets he's with his kid and he's like, hey, can we do the suck it? And let's do the thing.
i did that to you when we first met yeah hey can we just and i saw you tweeted it yeah yeah yeah but like super inappropriate i'm like dude your kids like i know i did it to you but like yeah big cat's a father now i am yeah yeah i will teach my child to suck it yeah boom i'm sure i'll have to explain this to my kids. What is the oral history of the suck it? Who came up with it? So it's a funny thing like the DX stuff.
A lot of it was rooted in there was a group backstage called The Click. And so it was just a group of guys that were together.
Myself, Sean Waltman, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and HBK. We all hung out together backstage.
It was really about our passion for the business. We all rode down the roads together, inseparable, traveled in the same cars.
And all we did was talk about the business. Even Scott Hall, who would get in the car every night and go, Guys, can we just not talk about the business for one car ride let's just not talk about the business but did you notice tonight's show that this and then we were talking about the business the whole drive right so it was based on that we used to all that this thing came from scott saw the turkish yeah the turkish uh whatever mafia thing yeah there you go too sweet whatever they call it now which i hate it was never too sweet I don't know how that became a thing but anyway yeah that became our thing so we would all flash it on TV like it was our little insider thing of like you were all together right and do all this stuff and the second thing came from when fans would be giving you crap especially if you're a bad bad guy, it wasn't the attitude area yet.
And we couldn't say negative things. You couldn't flip people off.
You couldn't get on them too much. And you'd look at guys and go, well, you need to do is focus, not so much here or down in here, but like right about there.
And that became this kind of our thing. And then it just morphed when, when, when they left and we started doing the stuff, uh, with DX, we kind of, Sean and I kind of morphed it into being a lot more aggressive.
Um, and then, you know, it went from being aggressive to being cool. And that's when, you know, Sean got injured and left and a kid came back and, and all that.
And, and it sort of just morphed into its own thing. A lot of that stuff just happened organically.
It wasn't like we were going, you know what we need is a catchphrase. Right.
It was, I mean, honestly, even with Sean and I first doing DX, half the stuff we did was based on us just making each other laugh and not giving a crap. Yeah.
Like, I'm just going to go out there and do whatever comes to my mind to get me the most heat. And I don't give a crap.
Yeah. Where it goes.
And, you know, we were getting, you know, every week when we were coming back, Vince was going, guys, you're going to get us kicked off the air. I swear to God, I'm going to fire you.
Do it again next week. I'm going to fire the both of you.
you and but then ratings started to go so all of a

sudden he was going like hey yeah do that thing yeah right you know what i mean and so when it works it's good and it was getting a reaction so yeah what was your relationship i mean obviously vince is now your father-in-law co-worker all these things what was your relationship with vince like back then and like the evolution of it and did you ever whisper in his ear i could kick your ass.

I don't have to whisper.

He knows.

He knows.

You knew when Vince was really jack he knows okay all right he went from pencil neck geek to if i can get heat in this promo i just got it yeah there you go um no so my relation i was always fascinated with the behind the scenes of the business not just the not just the in-ring stuff. I like that, but the planning of it.
I was fascinated with it. It's almost like being an actor, but writing the movies is cool too, and how do you create the dialogue and the inner workings and how all this stuff fit together.
Not just for myself either, but for like, for everybody. And, um, as DX evolved with Sean and I got to spend more time around Vince because of the people that I was around, he would start to ask me my opinion, a lot of things he would, I would notice that he would say, what do you think about that? There was one time where we all went to go to a meeting together and I was leaving cause I was like the kind of the new guy.
Right. And, uh, I was going to walk out and he was like, no, no, you're already in this.
You come in here and sit down to you. You got good ideas.
And so he just started to ask, you know, my opinion a lot. And we started to talk a lot about the time that we were kind of getting into the, the upward swing of the attitude era.
The one of the writers of the show, Vince Russo, and the guy that was writing along with him, left. I'd worked with them a lot, and I knew the dynamic.
And contrary to popular belief, he had a lot of ideas. They were all filtered through Vince and other people that made them great, right? Because they were just ideas and thoughts thoughts and all these things so when he left i went to vince because it was like in the middle of nowhere he went to go to wcw in the middle of the war good choice by the way yeah and um i went to vince and and uh i said hey i know those guys left i know now you're kind of doing this by yourself so i'm going home home.
I'll be home. Like I think I had four days off.
I said, I'll be home for four days. I don't have that much going on.
So if you need to bounce ideas off of somebody or something, I don't know that that's worth anything to you, but I'm just throwing it out. If you need it, I know trying to do all this stuff by yourself can't be easy.
He was like, I really appreciate he left uh went home like two days later i was sitting at home my phone rang and he was like hey vince you uh you got a couple of minutes bounce some things off you and i was like hell yeah sure you know and that kind of started it and then he came to me at tv and was like did you start coming to production meetings you know and i think that's cool. And he's like, I don't care.
Just come to the production meetings. And one of those things where as a talent, you have to be in the building at, say, 1 o'clock.
Production meetings at 9 or 10. But look, he's offered that to me.
So I'm leaving the town the night before I'm driving. Whether anybody wants to or not, I'm getting there, getting up, getting ready early and going to the meetings.
And, you know, for a lot of people that was heat. Why is he in the meetings and all this stuff? But for me it was more like, hey, ask him.
He'll probably let you come too, but I don't think you're going to get up at 8 and come to this 9 o'clock production meeting, so feel free. So I started doing that and kind of get in in the production meetings and he and i then had this kind of close bond relationship uh based on creative that was i didn't even i had never even met steph at that point i think she was in college it sounds terrible but um i think she was in college i'd never even met her it wasn't until uh until right around the time that we did the marriage angle.
I didn't even know her then. We just kind of did this wedding angle.
It was a pitch to get out of a storyline that Vince Russo had kind of dropped when he left. And no one knew where it was supposed to go.
But then that's how we kind of met and started working together. But at that point in time, I had a totally different working relationship with Vince and sort of a kind of a growing creative collaboration between the two of us.
That's cool. That's carried over for all the way through.
Does Shane ever get jealous? Like you're the true son? Yeah, no. King of Kings? No.
You uh shane obviously has a had a big role in the company yeah at that time and then you know things worked out the way he did and he did his own stuff and shane and i get along great yeah you know contrary to what you read sometimes we get along great yeah um you know i just keep my head down do my thing well always, I always find it funny cause we hear like all the behind the scenes stuff and

it's competitive business.

And I'm not even saying this about you and Shane,

but like you hear about other wrestlers and it is a competitive business.

And while you guys are all kind of tugging on the same rope,

you're also competing with each other for that shine,

that spotlight.

Anyone who's in media,

even our company,

like that's the same thing where,

you know,

like you want to cut,

you want to cut his throat, even though he's on the same show as you. No, I don't want to.
He and I are actually a team. But other people, we want to cut their throats.
I think that that is one of the unique things about the business. You can't exist without the other person.
Sometimes people read into that too much. I'll go back in the day in the Attitude Era.
We all got along, but we also all didn't get along. Because it was very competitive.
I mean very competitive. That's the best atmosphere for success.
Yeah. Now, that said, it didn't matter who in that locker room it was.
If we were someplace, I might be not getting along with this person at all i know in the ring together we're magic but but outside of it we don't see eye to eye we might argue on a lot of things but if somebody else comes along and messes with that person that's my brother right right right and i will defend that to the death um so you you see that kind of as this odd dynamic in there but like everybody wanted to be the guy everybody wanted to be in that spot um and it was super competitive and and that's what breeds the best stuff in the business trust me uh when when rock would go out there and cut a promo austin was in the back chomping at the bit saying let me out there and cut one and so was I and you know when we'd have matches, we all wanted to be the thing that was the big shine on the card that night and that's really when the business gets the best. I think you see that today, I don't know that it's as prevalent today because I think it's a, and I don't mean this as a knock and i don't want to sound like the old guy going the millennials but they just handle it differently right then we were verbally arguing about it and going at it not physically but like it was obvious yeah there were some issues right and that was it was kind of handled differently you had a problem with somebody in the locker room you walked up to them and were like hey that that ain't gonna fly and if they had a problem with it sometimes it did go to blows and then or whatever and but then that would person would almost become your closest friend because now you've kind of fought over something and you have that weird guy bond right right weird right like you punch somebody in the face they punch you in the face and then afterwards you're closer than before yeah and like kind of respect the person yeah but yeah no yeah but you know in in it's a funny thing too in our business sean and i laugh about this all the time i i've the closer you are to somebody the stiffer you work with them in the ring yeah it just like i don't sean and i have said it before like i've i think i punched him harder than anybody i've ever punched in my life in the ring right just in a match you know.
You know what I mean? It's like I can hit my – he knows that I'm in my mouth. And laugh about it.
Like I just almost knocked him out. I'm like, oh, I got you.
Right, right, right. Was there anyone in particular that went a little bit harder at you than you would think that they would go at somebody else? I don't think so.
You know, I was always one of those guys. I liked the physical side of the business.
Like, I liked the contact and I liked the – I didn't like working with it. Certain guys are smooth.
And, you know, like even – I'll give you Sean as an example. Sean can work where you don't feel them.
Or Sean can work where you definitely feel it. I liked when Sean and I worked because Sean would come at me and I would come at him and it was physical and it was aggressive I liked being able to feel what I was selling um I didn't necessarily always like guys that were too easy to work with or too light to work with because I felt like it I don't know it just felt like it wasn't right right human body craves contact that's whatbaugh taught us.
Yeah, I guess so. And so that was always the magic part to me.
So I never really thought about it sometimes when, you know, if you're asking, oh, was this guy being overly physical with you? I have fired back on guys for like, Jesus, this guy, he's battering me. And if like, I'm going to take a couple more of these because a couple of these might be accidental, but then, you know.
Then you find out it's not an accident. Yeah, and then you got to, like, I'm not saying I'm a tough guy, but like, you got to light him up and go like, hey, there's two ways of doing this.
I'm not going to just be a doormat here. So I'm okay doing it the other way, but I'm going to, you're going to get that side of it too.
Right. And usually then it eases up.
Yeah. Do you ever look back at some of the looks you had in the past and be like, ugh? Every one of them.
Which ones? I mean, I could say the leather Kangol. That one's pretty bad.
That was good at the time, though. Yeah, I mean, good at the time.
We were all wearing fanny packs. I know.
The fanny packs play. Yeah.
Leather Kangol. You say the fanny packs play today because Rock's brought it back a little bit.
Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Five years ago, you would have been going, what were you thinking? Yeah. Look, we all had horrible hair.
No, the hair was good. The hair was great.
You sold out by cutting the hair. I just got lazy, to be honest.
Yeah. Summertimes get hot.
Yeah. But there's a lot of stuff that you look at over the years, and you think like, there was moments in there where i got bored wearing black and went to colors for a little bit i'm like i look at that and go like what was i thinking yeah right you know i just if you get tired of doing the same thing i suppose like a band you made 10 albums and then you do one album where it's like experimental totally outside the box because you were just bored with your own crap you know and you start doing different stuff or you know for me there's times in the business especially where there's stuff that people you look at certain looks and moments um like there's parts when i look at uh pictures of myself and i'm like could i be more out of shape in this and then i have to think about the picture and i'm like oh yeah like um you know like i had an injury that i couldn't i get there's a period where I wore that everybody always goes like, what was the weird biker short phase that you went through? Where I had these black biker shorts.
Every guy has it, yeah. Yeah.
Well, it wasn't, though. So what happened was I tore my groin.
I was world champion. I tore my groin working with Goldberg, like popped my adductor off.
And like without the shorts on, these were like some kind of. Compression shorts.
Yeah, but like tech shorts like NFL guys wear. Like it took like four people to get them on me.
Because you have to stretch them out and they stick to you inside. Whose job was that, putting Triple H's shorts on? Yeah, trust me.
Sean has done a lot of things with me. Yeah, yeah.
But without those shorts, I could hardly walk. With the shorts on on i could get through a match um but i couldn't train i couldn't even like lay down a bench or anything because the uh you know everything core right so anything that would activate my core would pull on my groin like it was immensely painful um and they take forever to heal so there's this whole period of time where i'm like one wearing wearing these goofy biker shorts with my chunks over it, and then on top of that, I'm completely fat and out of shape.
I look at that whole period where I'm like, oh, God, terrible. But nothing I could do about it.
How many surgeries did you have? I mean, you've been through so many injuries. I've had quite a few.
Do you have a a list of like all the i mean i know you tore your quad straight off and you finished that match i did that twice your trachea got smashed and you almost like stopped breathing yeah i mean you what do you just have a pain threshold that's inhuman adrenaline is a magical thing you know look i look back at some of that stuff now and this is the kind of stuff that i say like i have to now tell talent like i am i'm stopping the match right and daniel bryan and i almost one time there's a story about daniel bryan and i almost getting in a fight at gorilla position where randy orton who's usually the most hot-headed person in the locker room in some level uh pulled us apart because i stopped's match because he was injured. And Daniel wasn't going to stop the match.
And he was trying to tell us he wasn't injured, but his arm was hanging. And I could see it.
And he was telling me he was fine. And I called the match.
When he came up, he was livid and was like yelling at me about how I finished a match with a detached retina. And whose right is it to yours? And I'm like, dude a match with a torn quad like don't tell me anything I know the better now like just my job you know and but we got heated yeah um but you know in in the moment like people ask me a lot on the quad thing um because you were in the walls Jericho with a torn quad I tore it we did some stuff I went out to the floor i don't remember how much longer the match was but jericho asked me like are you hurt i'm like yeah he said how bad i'm like bad and uh he said whispering this to you yeah i said what do you want to do he was like i was near the table he said what do you want to do because he knew we were going to walls jericho he knew it was my leg and i i said fuck it chris just do it and uh immediately regretted the decision when he put me in the walls of Jericho I was begging somebody for coming get me out of that thing but it's just one of those things I don't know if it's just the way I'm wired or if it's adrenaline I don't know but it never dawned on me like oh I should probably tell the referee I'm hurt and stop.
Or same, I did the same thing with my other quad. I did it with my pec in Saudi in the Middle East with Taker and Kane.
That was the Instagram picture. Yeah, I was doing an upside down bump in the corner.
Sean and I used to do this stuff when we were young, where Sean would go upside down in the corner, and then I'd take a bump over him.

And I was trying to protect him in the corner.

I didn't want to crush him.

And I just dug in too deep on the top rope.

And as soon as I went over, I felt my pec tear off.

We got to the floor, and I told Sean.

And he was like, oh, my God, what are we going to do?

And he was going to go tell the ref to stop the match.

I was like, hold on a second.

Hold on a second.

Let me take inventory for a minute.

And Doc came out.

Our Doc came out. Because now it's a different world, right? He'll make the call.
So he came to me. He said, what did you do? I told him I tore my pack.
He said, let me feel it. He put his fingers in.
He said, yeah, no, it's off. And I was like, I know.
And then he said, you want me to call it? And I said, so let me ask what happens if, what's the worst that can happen? He said, well, it's already torn. He said, it's not going to be pleasant.
But he said, if you can keep your shoulder in the socket, like, then. So your arm close to your body.
So I was like, all right. So I said, let's keep going.
And he said, I'll stay at ringside. So then I just told Sean, I said, good to go.
I'm going to fight left-handed. And I just, if you watch the whole match, I'm trying to keep my arm at my side.
Kane even put me through a table later. Of course.
Of course. I mean, that's a very casual thing to say.
Kane put me through a table later. I'm trying to keep my arm in because I was afraid when I hit the table, my arm would go out and my whole arm would come out of the socket or something.
Is this only in the ring that you don't feel pain or if you're out doing yard work and and you hit yourself with a hammer or something on your fingers. I'm rolling this chair on my genitals right now.
Just to feel something. And I don't feel it at all.
Damn, that's crazy. That is crazy.
All right, I have a couple apologies I need from you. You ready? Yeah.
Okay. You fucked over X-Pac when you gave you turned on him and you gave Shane McMahon the European Championship when he wasn't even a real championship.
Apologize, please. I'm not going to apologize for that one.
Kid did not want to hold the European Championship in the first place. That hurt, though.
That one hurt. And you went corporate and all that stuff.
He was happy to get the european title off at the time the coveted european title yes the funniest thing yeah he wanted it okay was that was that before or after he took a shit in the cup you'd have to name the time the penchant for that in cups yeah is it a dixie cup or just a glass whatever's around whatever happens to be in catering yeah the time he took a shit in a cup and then put it in sable's bag is that's a rumor rumor rumor allegedly allegedly no i mean i that i've heard there's so many stories about so many guys doing so much stuff backstage that is just absolutely bogus that becomes this urban legend that is just built up into this ridiculous stuff that like none of that ever happened i've heard a million stories where but then i've also heard the guys tell it and then like the guys in the business telling it i'm like but you're starting to read the stuff that's out there and believe that that's what happened because i was there and that didn't happen at all it was not a cup it was it was a ziploc bag yeah all right what about when you paid rikishi to run over stone cold yeah that was fucked up it was i i do i do feel a little bit bad okay there we go although like it wasn't that expensive and it was effective that was when you came out and like to and basically had the whole crowd just in your like essentially you're like i'm the bad guy i'm the guy that you're looking for like when you have the booze versus the cheers i mean the booze have to feel yeah there was a period of time in the in the beginning of the attitude era with with sean and i where we had some riots and even when um you know steph and i will talk about it every now and then of like um because she was just becoming a character in the business like when we did the mcmahon elmsley stuff and we had like legitimate like serious heat um i remember one time when we were just getting done the show and we were walking up to the top of the stage and a baseball, I just saw it on the corner of my eye, a baseball coming out of the upper deck and it went like right by her, you know what I mean? It would have killed one of us. That's the kind of stuff like there was a lot of stuff like that all the time then and it was still kind of a wonky area of people buying into things and all that but yeah, we had some legitimate heat but i loved it yeah isn't that like the best compliment that people are actually mad at you because they think it's 100 real which it is yeah i loved it and and then would try to carry it over sometimes i'll apologize for that now to anybody that i offended back in the day because i would try to carry it over because sometimes especially during the attitude, you'd go to the airport if I was nice to a kid that came over

and cautiously asked me for an autograph.

I was like, sure, and I signed it.

It was almost like they were disappointed.

Right.

Man, I thought he was going to punch me.

Chris Jericho told us that story on the podcast.

Yeah, about just basically just shitting on a kid in Madison Square Garden

because he had to do it.

Yeah.

Not letting the kid get on the elevator with him.

Yeah, right.

Kicking him off.

He had to do it.

Yeah, and so that was kind of the mantra.

And Madison Square Garden because he had to do it. Not letting the kid get on the elevator with him.
Yeah, right. Kicking him off.
Had to do it. Yeah, and so that was kind of the mantra.
And, you know, the things were a little bit more freewheeling back then. So you could go to the airport and be an asshole.
Objective people. Yeah, and they just were like, well, he's just a dick in real life.
And then you just kind of go on with it. Yeah.
The only place I tried not to do that was at home, you know, just... People burn your house or something like that when you're not there.
You can take to your neighbors? Yes. All right.
I got one last question. It is a SeatGeek question.
Put in promo code TAKE. You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
Go to a WWE match. I don't know what any of that means.
SeatGeek, you want to go to a WWE match? Yeah can we can get you in ten dollars off all right promo code take all right cool here we go uh the what describe the perfect match like what goes into a perfect match and which match in your career is closest to that oh man so but perfect matches to me it's it's a difficult thing to say because I don't believe that like i'm i'm a big believer in all of the stuff that we do is just stunts the story is what gets people right there's that um my angelo statement of like people don't remember what you say they don't remember what you do they remember how you make them feel i believe that's what's true in our business it's the emotion of what you do I think she was talking about she was actually yeah the emotionality of it right um so the the perfect match to me is something that just builds throughout and you're engaged in the whole time and by the end of it you're almost like emotionally drained um and and it's not about oh my god when he did the one i can't believe they did that double flying flip him a jigger thing you know what i mean those things to me are sort of they're they're the moments that's the really cool dinosaur but if the story is garbage all those other things don't mean. And that's why some guys get over and some guys don't.

I was taught very early.

One of the first things that I learned from Kowalski was make them look at you.

And I didn't understand when he was first saying it, right?

One time he explained it to me.

He said, the last thing you want to do when you leave an arena is have them go,

hey, that one match was pretty good, and have the guy with them go,

which one?

You know the one where they did this thing and the thing happened?

What you want them to go is, you know who's awesome?

Killer Kowalski.

That, right?

And the match was awesome, but you know what match was awesome?

That Kowalski match.

That's, man, what a show.

That Kowalski match was off the chart. Then

you have them. Then you

build something that connects with them

and stays with them. Otherwise

it was the Transformer

movie and you go, the one robot looked cool.

I like that explosion.

The special effect was awesome.

What is the best storyline that

you've ever been involved in? The most compelling storyline?

I think that at

various points in time, some of the stuff I've done with Sean, because it was so believably real, because we were so close as friends, and I think you could see that, and then the ability for us to transfer that but know each other's mannerisms and everything.

And also the openness for me to do horrible things to him and then him to get it back on me.

You know, the business is the magic when you're trying.

In that storytelling process, I've always approached it as a heel

of like I'm trying to outsell the other guy. It's not about the moves I do.
I'm trying to outsell him. So if I'm the bad guy, when I'm getting the heat, beating that guy up, he should be trying to outsell me.
Get so much sympathy and so much selling in that people feel terrible and want to see him hopefully come back and beat the shit out of me on the flip side of that when it's time for him to get angry and fight he's got to have that fire and that intensity but on the flip side of that now's my turn to outsell everything he just did for me and to to give that back and then some so when you approach things in that way, especially because you either believe in the other talent or you like that other talent or you enjoy working with that other talent, when you approach it in that way, man, it's magic. But it's tough.
It doesn't always get approached that way. So some of my stuff with Sean, look, the truth is I've been fortunate in my career.
I came in a time that when I first walked in the doors of the WWE, I had a plethora of guys with a massive amount of experience to learn and grow from. From Scott Hall to Brett, you know, I'd get in the ring with Brett a lot, to Sean, to Nash, just everybody.
And then even guys that were comic wrestlers, like something like the Bushwhackers, but like they had 20 plus, 30 years of experience, and you would learn from being in the ring with them all these different things. So you grew from that.
And then when it got to be the time when I could, could launch myself, I was in the ring.

You know,

you look at that era and it's a who's who of the best in the business,

right?

Like Austin,

rock,

Sean,

Foley,

taker,

um,

Kane.

Yeah.

I mean,

just,

just the who's who of,

of everybody in the business.

So I can look at points in time in my career and say,

look,

I love the stuff I did with Foley. I love the stuff I did with Taker.
I love what I did with Sean, Rock, Austin. Like, there's so many guys that I go like, man, for me to say like one thing was the best or one thing was my favorite, it almost takes away, I feel like, from all those things ahead because they all contributed to it and they're all, for me, the best parts of my career.
Speaking of that, do you ever get mad when you see, like if you're watching sports and they're like greatest teams of all time and they don't list you in Stone Cold? The two-man power trip? Yeah. They absolutely should.
It's kind of bullshit. The dream team.
You guys were pretty unstoppable. And it was only cut short by my injury.
Yeah. That was going to be a big run.
Forever. Yeah, it was going to be a big run.
And we had a lot of fun doing it. I mean, you guys were badass.
It was that and X-Pac and Kane. I love the size of that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a cool one.
That's kind of what we go for. Yeah, right.
Our whole estate. That's your shtick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right.
Exactly. You know, you talk about the people and the storytelling.
Like, that's the thing, I think, for me, that's the magic of what we do at NXT. Right? Like, so the talent are young and hungry, and they're really wanting to do it.
And we're trying to teach them all these components of outselling and the emotion. But when you break down what that show is, it's about the storytelling.
And I think the storytelling gets to be more succinct and more direct and simpler sometimes. But because of that, it becomes almost more relatable to people that are the more passionate fans of what we do because we don't have to cater to the casual fans as much.
And I think that's the magic of it. When you talk about being the alternatives, we're not just a stunt show.
We're not Michael Bay movies where we're going to just go out there and put on a stunt fest or give you these action sequences that are crazy, but when you leave the theater, you forget all about it. When you leave the arena, it's like, eh.
We we're gonna give you stuff that resonates and sticks with you every week that was a professional segue right there that was great and perfect and also tune in nxt right back around you're pro you're pro's pro the more you describe wrestling the more to me it sounds exactly like first take on espn when it was skip against stephen a smith going head to head it's like that that is exactly what they've taken they've've stripped all the physicality out of it and just put two guys at a desk. It's like promo class every week for them.
Yeah, exactly. Going at it.
Thank you. This has been a dream of mine.
Also, I thought you killed Mick Foley when you threw him through the cell. Yeah.
You went through the ring. There's a moment where I wasn't sure, too.
Was that set up? No, that one was. So the one with Taker was partially meant and partially not.
So it was supposed to break slowly. He was supposed to fall through.
It broke completely. And he just went straight through.
And Taker legit thought, oh, my God, I might have just killed him. Right.
And then talk about pain tolerance. Foley gets up and keeps going.
Right. You know, crazy.
With a tooth sticking out of his nose and the whole thing, right? But in our Hell in a Cell match, that was – A little bit planned. It was laid out and planned.
All right. Yeah.
Because that – I did think he was dead that time. I was like, well, there it is.
Yeah. Also, Big Cat would make a tremendous referee.
Like I saying this earlier, but he believes everything that happens in front of him.

So if you're ever looking.

Pull me out with my legs.

I'm like, I didn't see it.

I know you're the VP of talent, right?

This guy, he looks like a ref.

Tell me when.

So look.

You can step in.

I'll be in Orlando every week now for NXT.

This is another professional segue right back to the two-hour weekly show that we'll shoot out of Full Sail University. But that means I'm at the Performance Center.
Come down. We'll give you a tryout.
We'll see what we do. I'm in.
I'm in. I would be a great rep.
You've got a rough spotty. And honestly, have you guys been down there? No.
I know. I actually, one of our coworkers, Robbie Fox, is trying to do a tour.
We might get with him. So as much as you can come to the show and go backstage, and that's cool, but it's like the show.
Right. I guess the difference would be, to me, it's like going backstage.
If you're a Metallica fan, go backstage at the show. Like, oh, that's cool.
But if you had the opportunity to go to the recording studio

and sit in on like them jamming and sessions and all that like that's a different environment it's the performance center is the guts of what we do seven rings in there when they're cooking when everybody's in there and strength and conditions going and all the stuff is happening it's crazy crazy, like, the energy in there.

It is a candy store.

If you're a fan of what we do and, like, the art form of it

and kind of the insides of it, man, it's an unbelievable experience.

I mean, it's three miles down the road from Full Sail.

So, like, if you guys want to come to a show,

just come to one of the shows and let us know.

You can interview some people or do some stuff while you're there.

Sounds awesome.

Thank you. from Full Sail.
So if you guys want to come to a show, just come to one of the shows and let us know. You can interview some people or do some stuff while you're there.
Sounds awesome. And we have all the set up to do everything you need and we have a content lab there.
We can shoot whatever and you can do it. Yeah, we don't even have one of those.
You can do it in the performance center itself. But yeah, anytime you want to come down and be a part of it and you come to the show that night.
Would I have to work out if I was a ref? Nah, but you do have to run and get up and down a little bit. You've got to be in shape a little bit.
There used to be an old school referee that used to stand up. There's a debate about this.
We all say it's Bronco Lubitsch. Michael Hayes thinks it's not, but where he used to stand up and count with his foot.
Yeah, like a horse. He was too lazy to get up and down on the false finishes, so he would only get down and count the actual finish, but on the false finishes he would just stand up and count with his foot.
Just pat your belly. Yeah, yeah.
All right, well, check out NXT USA Network Wednesday night. When this airs, you will be on, so everyone watch it.
It's going to yeah this uh this show if if you're if you're a fan of what we do like this is the deep dive um you know ron smackdown are are phenomenal shows with some of the best talent in the world but they're general entertainment shows in a way and and they have to put a lot of things in there bell to bell there's's no product like NXT and we will show that every Wednesday. Love it.
Triple H, thank you so much. Appreciate it.
Thanks. Been fun.
That interview with Triple H was brought to you by NFL The Grind. The NFL season is heating up and all the intense drama is going to play out over the next six months in the new doc series on Epics.
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The interview was also brought to you by Figs. I think there's something that all of us can agree on, whether we're Red Sox fans, Cubs fans, Brewers fans, Nats fans.
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Okay, let's get some segments by the way pft do you do you realize what's at stake in what you're talking about andy reed still no no no uh that was like one one boob it was just no it wasn't it was a callback yeah it was a pun yeah uh Do you know what's at stake, though? In what? In what way? The fact that you could be responsible for killing Tommy Lasorda. No, I'm not.
I'm not. You're rooting for the bats.
If you listen. You're rooting for them.
I just brought him back to life, though, in your neundies. I know.
I know. But you just.
I'm just telling you. Okay.
Be careful. what you wish yes be careful okay we won a one game series today life is just a bunch of one game series stacked end to end to end on top of each other so if we happen to beat Tommy I think he would want to go out that way by being defeated by a franchise with such a proud tradition of postseason excellence as the Washington Nationals.
We are on Tommy Watch. It's October.
The Dodgers are going to, like, the odds are that they're going to go to the World Series again. Tommy Watch is on.
I'm more concerned that Tommy hasn't said anything about how he's going to die if they lose. That tells me that he might not be in it as much.
Well, no. He's got to wait until Thursday for the pump-up speech.
And he overlooking the gnats who knows so well he well first of all we got to wait can't overlook anything at that tomorrow to tell him the gnats won and then we'll assess okay because he definitely doesn't know he's like green day wake him up when september's over i mean it is officially tommy watch season uh i have a segment that i didn't tell you about, but I just saw this story. Okay.
Our long national nightmare is over. Yes.
Kirk Cousins apologized to Adam Thielen for not throwing him the ball more deep on Sunday. Such a beta.
So virgin Kirk Cousins, Chad, Adam Thielen. Chad, Chadham Thielen.
I also, someone just tagged me in a tweet reminding me of the time that Kirk Cousins did a gender reveal and basically missed the throw from three yards away. Yeah.
That actually happened. That actually happened.
One of his better throws. Yes.
All right. You have a Sabermetrics PFT.
Yeah, Sabermetrics. So this happened over the weekend.
A Miami Dolphins vendor overcharged an attendee at the Dolphins game by $700 for beer. So he swiped his card or did like a cash app type transaction on the go.
And for two beers, he charged him $700 and the rest of the guy. So it was obviously on purpose because he's like, there's no one at this game.
I need to make my nut. Yeah, basically the vendor was like, I'm not going to sell this much beer.
Actually, you should probably be selling more beer to Dolphins fans. You should be drinking a shitload if you're still at a Miami Dolphins game.
The Dolphins should do like $1 beer night. I think you're right.
I think that teams should charge less the worse the team is. Yeah, like stock market prices.
If your team is going to go, if your team is above $500, you can double the price. If they're below $500, you have to half it.
Yeah, if they're 0-16, then you should just load up the t-shirt cannon with truly's yeah and just shoot spike seltzers at people time i i'm not a math guy but times it by no that's their winning percentage i don't know okay never mind i was gonna try to i was just trying to figure out how many games above 500 they are that's the percentage you're you have to charge oh that's too much math and then below just do minus a dollar or plus yeah just just do that one yeah okay that's fair uh the bank actually flagged the transaction this is a great opportunity by the way because there are a lot of people that have been to well not a lot but there are at least a dozen people that have been to a dolphins game in the last week you can just say oh yeah that a hundred dollars i spent on beer that must have been fake too yes and alert your bank. Yeah, I wasn't at that game.
Wait, so actually to go back to that, that is perfect. $1 for – so every game you're above or below $500 is $1 black or red.
So if you go – if the Dolphins go 0-15 in their last home game, they pay you for a beer. Yeah, and Mercury – They pay you like $4.
If a beer is $12, yeah, they'll pay you $3 for a beer. Yeah, and Mercury Morris has to come out like a table girl in Vegas with the beer with a sparkler on top of it and put it in your hand.
I like that. Why don't they do that? Also, I'm pretty sure every bank in America has something in their algorithms that flags if you spend more than like $50 on concessions at any Miami sporting event because nobody stays at a game long enough to do that.
Yeah, they're like, are you sure? Maybe they're like, hey, this transaction happened at 1030 at night. There's no way.
Wait a second. This hot dog and ice cream was not sold in the second quarter.
What the hell's going on? You're going to investigate. The Florida Panthers, remember them? Yeah yeah it's just like a weird one to throw out there every now and then like the florida

panthers are a franchise yeah wait they still are i yeah do the florida panthers yeah 10 minutes

from jake's from dash's darling jake that's just that's a whoa what was last that's the biggest

whoa we've ever had hey think about the florida panthers okay the only they had luongo yeah okay

Thank you. that's just, that's a, whoa, what was the last, that's the biggest, whoa, we've ever had, hey, think about the Florida Panthers,

okay,

the only,

they had Luongo,

yeah,

okay,

that's how I know,

they also had,

what's her name,

the pop star,

she got hit by a puck twice,

when she was a kid,

she has a season ticket,

me and Khalifa,

Ariana Grande,

oh,

okay,

yeah,

Sophie Julia,

sideline reporter,

that's right,

they have to be,

could you think of a more,

like, a more forgettable franchise, a whoa, I'm going through it right now. I don't think so.
Atlanta Thrashers? But they don't exist. I'm saying the ones that actually exist.
That's still in existence. They still exist.
Florida Panthers, whoa. I mean, to put it in perspective, the closest you get in the NFL is the Tennessee Titans.
Yeah, but that's not even, like, everyone knows the Titans exist.

Whoa.

Florida Panthers.

Whoa.

That's crazy, man.

I mean, the Rays are in a fucking playoff game.

And the Panthers.

The Coyotes, maybe?

No, because the Coyotes biz.

Yeah.

And also Rafi Torres, that scumbag.

But Florida Panthers, whoa.

Who are they?

What about baseball?

What's the baseball equivalent? It's probably the Rays, but Rays but they're like decent so not even the Rays yeah it's the Florida Panthers are the most irrelevant get your shit franchise in the history of sports have to be have to be they need a logo change yeah they do you're right Hank they absolutely do or they use the beer thing. Pay everyone to drink beer.
I like that, too. Okay, speaking of our darling Jake, PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Good morning, this is Jake Marsh with the PMT Sports Biz Minute. The MLB postseason is here, and what better way to start things off than with the 2019 wildcard games.
Brewers naps last night, while the Rays and A's go at it this evening. In a standard deck of cards you'll usually find two jokers.
These commonly act as the wild card in many card games. But the joker didn't appear until sometime around the 1860s.
That's when the game of euchre was extremely popular. This weekend Mr.
Cat's Chicago Bears head to London to take on the Raiders. Bears became extinct in the UK in the early medieval period sometime around 1,500 years ago.
But in the 19th century, gentlemen used bear grease to help cure baldness. This substance was made by boiling bear fat and mixing it with rose leaves and vanilla to help disguise the smell.
Mush that all together and voila, hopefully the hair continue to come back through. That's your PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Mr. Cat and Mr.
Commenter, back to you. Thanks, Jake.
Very cool. Very cool, Jake.
Very cool. All right, let's finish up.
Guys on Chicks, Hank. All right, I'll read the other one that I thought was a guy because we get a lot of these, and it always confuses me because I feel like this just wouldn't happen.
But I could be wrong. Okay.
Sup, dudes. Is it a verge move to get my dick sucked? No, it's a guy pretending to be a girl.
Like a lot of the – it's a guy pretending to be a girl. Okay.
Hey, PMT boys. I was super horny this past Sunday at the point where I told my boyfriend I wanted to suck him dry on the spot.
His response was, can't. It's the witching hour.
Is it even worth it to try and get some on Sundays anymore?

But I don't think a guy wrote this in.

Suck him dry?

Definitely.

This is a million percent of that.

What girl's been like, I want to suck you dry?

A guy says, I want you to suck me.

That's a guy thing to say.

The girl's never like.

I'm so horny.

I want to make you cum.

Yeah, I don't even know the answer. I mean sex during the witching hour no no not no fly zone also because she she was probably really into the witching hour too i think that crosses spectrums of gender that's true even women they're like especially women sometimes they're like no i gotta watch philip rivers he's down a score although with the Witching Hour this past week wasn't that exciting, so maybe it was.
What's up, boys? Especially Chonk Cat. Fuck.
This weekend was my best... This weekend, my best friend is getting married.
I decided to check out some of my future brother-in-law's guy relatives to see if I'd be happy, drunkenly ending up having a one-night stay with one of them. Is this a good idea and do I look like a whore and ruin my reputation with my new in-laws? No, you don't.
We don't shame. No, this is exactly what every, this is the only way that people ever had sex before online dating was they would just hook up with somebody at a wedding.
And let me give you a little tip. You actually, this is actually your present.
Is it his sister? Her sister? No, it's her best friend. No, no, no.
My best friend is getting married. Oh, her best friend.
Because otherwise it would kind of be incest. Okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I thought that's what it was.
Which, I mean, no judgment. But this is actually, this can be considered your wedding gift because you now give the bride and groom something to talk about.
So they can be like, hey, can you believe what so-and-so hooked up with your cousin like that's that's invaluable so you have to do it and then just be like that was our wedding gift to give you gossip and pro tip the next morning at the brunch take separate elevators down no maybe date for a while and then just give me more gossip then have a really messy breakup and well or get married and then that is the ultimate gift is to tell a couple we met at your your wedding, and it was so romantic that we ended up getting married. We had to do it.
Yeah. My boyfriend of one year is fun but very straight edge.
Every time I try to sext him, he just says hot or something lame like that. How do I get him to sext me back? You might be better off not because it sounds like that's his go-to move is just saying hot.
And some guys are just really awful at sexting and will just completely turn you off. So just accept the fact that he's not a wordsmith.
You're not dating Billy Shakespeare. He also might have just been ruined by Anthony Weiner text messages going viral and shit like that.
Like where you see some super horny dude and his sexting goes viral and you're like, don't ever want to be caught in that situation. What was that? Hank, you poo pooed that.
You said, nah, I don't think, you know, if you're, if a guy is a sexter, they're not going to get curbed off by the internet.

They're not going to be like,

oh, this guy got caught.

But if he's on the line,

if he's like,

he doesn't know if he's a sext-her or not.

I just don't.

I feel like you either are or you're not.

Okay.

What's your sex game like, Hank?

You don't want to know.

I mean, it's... Because the way you dismissed it earlier

made it seem like,

no, you got to fire back with some stuff.

Yeah, I mean, you do.

You're so hot. Yeah.
You got it, yeah. Super hot.
That's hot. That's hot.
I just like to do the hold down and then emphasize, emphasize, emphasize repeatedly on her text message. That's hot.
That's like thrusting. Maybe he's saying it in the Paris Hilton voice.
That's why. So you're just misunderstanding it.
That's hot. Sup, Hank and the bad boys.
Recently, it sounds like a band. Yo.
Recently, my boyfriend has started openly admitting when he is headed to jerk off. I'm starting to wonder if it's because I'm not always in the mood and he is trying to make me feel bad.
Should I be concerned? It might be what he's doing. Yeah, power move.
Seems like... Jerking it off of you, boss.
Jerk it off then. It seems like that would be something you would use as cover for something worse, though.
Oh, jeez. Oh, damn.
Like, every time you say, I'm going to go jerk off real quick, he's going into the bathroom and crushing up lines of Sudafed and snorting him. He's texting his other family.
Yeah, he's doing meth. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, he's got a second family that lives in your bathroom, and he's feeding them scraps from the table. Hey, guys.
Look under the toilet, lift the lid up, and check. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years now, and I always seem to be the one planning dates or things to do since he's not much of a planner or a romancer.
How do I get him to sometimes plan things or be romantic without me nagging him about it? It's tough. Planning is the worst.
So we're not going to do that. Okay.
So here, actually, no. From experience, here's the best way to do it.
When he does plan something or does something romantic, just overly, overly thank him.

Be like, that was so, so nice.

Thank you so much.

And then you hope that his caveman brain, a light bulb will go off and be like, hey, that was pretty nice of me to do that once.

That's really all you got.

Or just name drop that your friend, even if it didn't happen, just be happen just be like oh my friend from work her boyfriend did the most romantic thing ever blah blah blah blah also this guy maybe yeah if he's listening pro tip dude you don't even have to do the plans you just have to talk about plans if you talk about plans enough that will be enough like if you're just like hey we should do something this weekend. Flash forward Friday or Saturday, you're sitting on the couch watching Notre Dame Bowling Green.
But you said you were going to do something. That's almost a plan.
I like that idea a lot. Here's what you could do, too, is you could make a plan and say, hey, I've got this great afternoon planned out.
But it's your job to plan out dinner afterwards. So that way he's included.
He's part of it, but he's also kind of on the hot seat.

He has to do something.

And the great afternoon plan is watching Notre Dame Bowling Green.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There you go. Thank you.
Don't give it away I don't know what I need to say I'm saying anyway Today is a holiday The body will shine So I'll be coming for your lover's grace So I'll be coming to you. Three, four, three, four.
We'll be right back. Take it from me.
It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.