NFL Week 4 Recap, Minshew Mania, Chase Daniel Redemption, And We Create A Bansky

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Speaker 1 week four NFL recap. We talk about every single game.
We're going to say something nice about the Dolphins. We're going to do everything.
We're going to recap it.

Speaker 1 We're going to do the fastest two minutes. We're going to talk a little college football.
We got Football Guy of the Week. Maybe I'll say it, PFT, our our best football guy of the week thus far.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love some work to be done.

Speaker 1 Look at the handle, all washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric Ivano.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.

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Speaker 1 Today is Monday, September 30th, week four.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What? What?

Speaker 1 We start in Atlanta. Wake up, Maddie.
I think I've got something to say to you. It's late September, and your team still looks like Big Pooh Pooh.

Speaker 1 AJ Soprano Brown finally made it a whole football game without passing out, and Titans fans are singing, Marcus. I think I want to Mariota You.

Speaker 1 After the much-baligned quarterback threw for three scores, Dan Kwinipiak should be coaching at a safety school where kicking a 3.0 would be considered a success. Who are you?

Speaker 1 Who, who, who, Julio Jones? And Austin, who are you? Who, who, who, Hooper, said, are we going to lose this game? You better, you, better, you bet.

Speaker 1 As the Millennial Falcons are stuck in a teenage wasteland. Titans 24, Falcons 10.
Whoop! Whoop!

Speaker 1 Whoop!

Speaker 1 To Western New York, where the 3-0 Bills host the 3-0 Patriots in a battle for the AFC East. The Bills are thinking it's a new year, but Josh Hashanah Allen was no match for Julian Edelmanch.

Speaker 1 Happy New Year, boob. Matt Baby Bark played like dooto-doot

Speaker 1 in relief. And although Tom Brady Quinn didn't throw many fuckable spirals, this year looks a lot like last year.
As stop me if you've heard this before, Teach, the Patriots win in Buffalo.

Speaker 1 Patriots 16, both tight. No,

Speaker 1 no one.

Speaker 1 Down to Baltimore, where Freddy Kittens had the offense purring and left the Ravens looking like pussies.

Speaker 1 Nick Chubbawumba got knocked down, but then got up again, because you can never keep a rock hard chubby down.

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson looked like he took a whiskey drink, then a lager drink, then a vodka drink, then a cider drink, and was so thirsty for more that he unlocked all the beer fridges in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 John Jacob Jingleheimer Habaugh looked at his brother Jim and said, Hey, your name is my name too. Whenever we go out, people always shout, hey, neither of you guys can win a big game.

Speaker 1 Browns 40, Ravens 25.

Speaker 1 In Detroit, it looks like Catrick Mahomes isn't housebroken as Andy Reid brought his favorite pet indoors for the first time and made a mess all over the carpet as he had his first game without a touchdown.

Speaker 1 There were not one,

Speaker 1 not two,

Speaker 1 not three, whoop, not four,

Speaker 1 not five,

Speaker 1 but six fumbles in this sloppy affair. Karen Berry Johnson and Daryl Strawberry Williams found all the cracks and towed the rock to the big white line.
And

Speaker 1 the Kansas City Cuefs can let out an awkward sigh of relief

Speaker 1 after getting penetrated all afternoon. Chiefs 34, line starting.

Speaker 2 Scientists are puzzled by a very disturbing trend in the waters along four Gulf Coast states.

Speaker 2 Almost 300 dead and dying dolphins, think about that for a second, have washed ashore since February, and that's about three times the usual number.

Speaker 1 San Diego Super Chargers 30, Dolphins 10.

Speaker 1 The New York Football Giants in the Middlelands were damn Daniel Jones was back at it again with the white fans. Daniel Jones, the Deloitte accountant, continued to excel for four fiscal quarters.

Speaker 1 Wayne Goleman brothers tied the Redskins defeats to a whipping post like they disobeyed an order from Adrian Peterson.

Speaker 1 The New York defensive starters starters played like great-tasting subs as Jabril Sausage and Peppers and David Holt the Mayo were the real heroes on Sunday. You're on a roll, boom.

Speaker 1 The Redskins looked like they were better suited for cable access as Twain's World, Twain's World, garbage time,

Speaker 1 interceptions, the G-Men 24, the Armards 3.

Speaker 1 In Indianapolis, where Derek comedian in cars getting coffee might be developing a very special relationship with his head coach, John Gruden. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Teach.

Speaker 1 Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve Vinatieri, didn't kick one of his field goals straight enough as Indiana native Mike Pence was shaking his head, thinking the Colts need some third-down conversion therapies.

Speaker 2 Stick to sports boom.

Speaker 1 Vontez said, I'm not a perfect person.

Speaker 1 Got kicked out for a 7,000th consecutive NFL game, but the Colts still hooba stank it up. The

Speaker 1 Riders. 31, Colts 24.
Hey, Kurt, go! Oh, the what? Some spread.

Speaker 1 Out in the desert, where Jadavion Krusty the Clowny inside show Bobby Wagner said must kill Kyler as the Seahawks sacked Murray four times and added a pick six. Will disley beneath the milky twilight.

Speaker 1 Left Cardinals better six pins, none the richer. Spliff Kingsbury got rolled up and smoked recreationally by the Seattle Pharma Seahawks dispensary.
Seahawks 27, the Cardinals 10.

Speaker 1 Standing on the corner of Jameis Winston, Tampa, Florida. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 1 It's Bruce, holy shit, rocking red Obies like a pimp.

Speaker 2 Watching his newbie throw one-eyed tee.

Speaker 1 Come on, Bucks. I thought you sucked.

Speaker 1 The Rams took down America's teaser. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Bucks 54, Rams 40.

Speaker 1 We finished in Mile High, where Leonard Pournette was jagging off to the tune of 225 yards, and Gardner, Jess for Min Shoe, was the color of money down the stretch.

Speaker 1 Noah, don't you want Da Fanta Fanta? Was extremely catchy and annoying to the Jaguar secondary. Hey, Tiege.
Yeah, boom. I call him Vic Fangio and 4.
Good one, Boom.

Speaker 1 Flacco battled back within a Nats Eyelash of a win. Hey, Tiege.
Yeah, Boom. I call him Joe and four.
Flacco. Jaguars 26.
Broncos 24. Okay, week four in the books, close to in the books.

Speaker 1 We actually are watching the fourth quarter of Dallas, New Orleans as we finish their start the show.

Speaker 1 We all took New Orleans, so if we just yell out randomly during it and you fell asleep, now you'll know what's happening.

Speaker 2 Or it might be just because we have football Tourette's, which is

Speaker 2 an actual thing. And then there's no real football tomorrow night.
It's Andy Dalton and Mason Mason Rudolph. So judging by how little we know about football, it's probably going to be an awesome game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it will be incredible. And they'll go off.
Both offenses will go off. And we'll just be like, that was the best game ever.

Speaker 1 I even jokingly said I'm going to try to get some sleep, catch up on some sleep. And then I laughed.
I was like, no, I'm not. I'm going to watch it till midnight.

Speaker 2 Two words. Yeah.
AFC. Well, it's three words.
AFC North Football.

Speaker 1 Ooh. These two teams do not like each other.

Speaker 2 Throughout the record.

Speaker 1 They were actually, they were in the commercials. They were like, these teams, they don't like each other.
Antonio Rudolph.

Speaker 2 Antonio Brown, Vontez Burfick.

Speaker 1 Mason Rudolph, just happy to catch a paycheck. Le'Veon Bell.

Speaker 2 Pac-Man Jones.

Speaker 1 Mason Rudolph, by the way, I've said it, and this will confirm it tomorrow night. I don't care how good he is tomorrow night.

Speaker 1 If he does really, really well, he's not a starting quarterback in the NFL. I've seen enough of his face.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That's all I had to say.

Speaker 1 Noted, noted. Okay, so let's get into the games.
If you want to watch us, you want to watch this whole show, barstoolgold.com slash PMT. I think we have a bonus episode coming this week.
Rubik's Cube.

Speaker 1 Rubik's Cube Master coming this week. Or next week.
Or next week. One of these weeks.
Whenever. So it was awesome, and it will be great to listen to.

Speaker 1 And Bubba has been trying to do a Rubik's Cube for the past month, and he has not gotten it.

Speaker 2 Bubba is sneakily like probably the best, though, out of all four of us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I haven't even tried.

Speaker 2 I've just stared at it, hoping that it changes. Fuck, no.

Speaker 1 Doesn't work. So let's get into the games.
Let's get into the games. This was Rode Team Sunday.
10 out of 12.

Speaker 1 Now, we don't know the end of the Sunday night game, but 10 out of 12, as we're sitting right here, teams won on the road.

Speaker 2 It's also the end of the first quarter of the NFL season, don't you? As Bill Walton, well, or not Bill Walton, as Bill Perseus is a good person,

Speaker 2 I'd love to say it. Yeah, yeah, it's one of those football guy sayings that gets passed down.

Speaker 1 Cut it up into quarters.

Speaker 2 Cut it up into quarters.

Speaker 1 It's a nice way to say when you really suck for a four-game stretch.

Speaker 2 Well, it was just the first quarter.

Speaker 1 A nice way to tell your team you're okay.

Speaker 2 Or if you're a 3-13 team and you're like, well, we went 3-4 in the second quarter. That's pretty good.
Exactly. All right.

Speaker 1 So let's start

Speaker 1 with the Titans and the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Falcons are dead. They are officially dead.

Speaker 2 D-E-B. But they wore some slick throwback unis today.

Speaker 1 I love those uniforms. Those uniforms are so nice that I went against my own philosophy of betting on Mike Vrabel when he's an underdog.

Speaker 1 When people count out the Titans, that's when they perform.

Speaker 1 And they perform today. And this is also the theme.
So it's Road Game Sunday. It's also,

Speaker 1 is Marcus Mariota and Jameis Winston, are they going to get new contracts because they both played well? Because Marcus Mariota was very good.

Speaker 2 He played okay today. The Titans are a lot like Nashville.
There's good Nashville and there's bad Nashville. There's Dolly Parton and then there's Eric Church.

Speaker 1 There's the Broadway with those two twins that make you pay for pictures with them outside of all the bars. And then there's winners and losers on the Vanderbilt campus.

Speaker 1 It's awesome to go get drunk at. Right.

Speaker 2 There's Waylon Jennings and there's Rascal Flats. Right.
Which one are you going to get this week?

Speaker 1 Turk Bentley probably has like his own themed, you know, he has a theme park probably in Nashville now. Yeah.
Don't go there, but there's probably a cool hot chicken joint.

Speaker 2 It's just exactly like Hollywood, except the rides are a lot worse and it costs more to get in.

Speaker 1 Dude, remember last time we were in Nashville? We had Larry the bus driver with us.

Speaker 1 And we got so high that I freaked out because Larry the bus driver kept on asking us to hang out, and I started getting in my own head, and I was like,

Speaker 1 is he mad that he's not hanging out with us? And I just peaced out

Speaker 1 and I watched a terrible like Syracuse Duke game or something. Yeah, really high.
I lost my stomach.

Speaker 2 I ate a shitload of hot chicken right before we had to go do a public event, and I felt like my stomach was going to be itself.

Speaker 1 That was bad side out. Okay, so back to this game.

Speaker 1 Mark Smariota, I have a stat for you. Oh, he is the only QB who has started all four games.
Oh, Teddy Bridgewater just got smoked.

Speaker 1 He's the only QB who has started all four games and not turned the ball over.

Speaker 2 Are you serious? Yes. He is the most boring QB.
I don't like that stat. Well, you know what it is? At least do something.

Speaker 2 If you're going to play quarterback, I want a quarterback that makes me either terrified every time you throw the ball or really excited every time you throw the ball.

Speaker 1 It's also the old line of thinking I used to use when I defended Jay Cutler: that not all interceptions are bad because sometimes you have to take a risk. Right.

Speaker 1 If your quarterback's not throwing any interceptions, that probably means he's a little bit of a pussy.

Speaker 2 Right. It's kind of like the Kobe miss factor.
Right. Sometimes it's good to miss shots because it's more likely you'll take a weird deflection and then your teammate will pick it up.

Speaker 1 I also have a stat about the Falcons, the most maddening team of all time. All time.

Speaker 1 They had three turnovers on downs in the Titans' territory. That's almost impossible to do.
And then add on top of that, a misfield goal and a fumble in the Titans' territory.

Speaker 1 So five times they crossed the 50-yard line and got zero points from it.

Speaker 2 So the red zone for the Falcons is expanding. Kind of like Bob Giaco used to say, like, 2020,

Speaker 1 2022.

Speaker 2 For them, their red zone woes are so bad that their red zone extends to the midfield line.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, we watched this game, and it was the Falcons would spend 15 minutes in the middle of the field, just getting first downs and getting penalties and going backwards and getting first downs and never going anywhere.

Speaker 1 And that is the Falcons to a T. They're so frustrating.
I'm so happy that they are my dunchain team.

Speaker 1 I don't even think they have like fight in them. Dan Quinn needs to be fired, and I like Dan Quinn because he will give me that joke for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 But Dan Quinn is on the hot seat, and I think Arthur Blank is going to cut him out.

Speaker 2 He'll always have a job. If he just wants to show up in Seattle, Pete Carroll is going to take one look at him.
He's like, you can work on my defensive staff.

Speaker 2 We can use a bald guy with a goatee over here.

Speaker 2 I love getting mad at teams for not running the ball more. Yes.
I love just retroactively looking at

Speaker 2 what the total amount of runs for a team is and then getting pissed off about it. And the Falcons ran the ball 17 times, and I'm mad.

Speaker 2 Let's forget about the fact that they were playing from behind because that's not. what I do as a football guy.
I'm just pissed off they didn't run the ball more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there are fans in all sports and they're all related. It's run the football guy.
Yep. It's throw it into the post guy.

Speaker 6 It's shoot the puck guy.

Speaker 1 And it's probably like bunt to get the runner over guy. Those guys are all the exact same.
They're cousins and they all hang out and have shitty sports takes together. And you know what?

Speaker 1 I share a lot of their shitty sports takes because I oftentimes say run the damn ball. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, it's just make contact guy.

Speaker 2 We need fewer guys that are hitting home runs and more guys that get lucky.

Speaker 1 Situational hitting. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Why don't you just try to don't try to hit a home run?

Speaker 1 Hit it to the opposite side of the field. Let the runners advance.
Yeah, bunt the ball

Speaker 2 against the full switch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Exactly.
Get that post-touch. Just get it.
Run the offense through your big man.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, the Falcons are bad. The jerseys looked awesome.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

Speaker 2 Although,

Speaker 2 it's so funny that the peak of a franchise, when I looked at those, I was like, those jerseys remind me of the old Falcons.

Speaker 2 And to me, the good old Falcons peaked at losing a Super Bowl because their starting cornerback got caught with a hooker the night before the game. Correct.

Speaker 1 The Dirty Bird. Yeah.
The Dirty Bird Falcons. Man, they really shouldn't have even been in the Super Bowl because that Vikings team was maybe the best team to not win a Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 Right, but Morton A.

Speaker 1 I'm in the Patriots.

Speaker 2 He says the middle never changes. Right.
All right.

Speaker 1 Let's go off to Buffalo. The Patriots beat the Bills.
It was, well, it was a perfect Buffalo Sunday, right down to the fact that someone got married at halftime and Jim Kelly officiated.

Speaker 1 That was so perfect. That is so Buffalo.
And I mean that in the most loving way. Like, this was a huge day.
Bills Mafia showed up in, you know, was loud as hell. Their defense was awesome.
They

Speaker 1 were in the game the entire game. And they had someone get married at halftime.
And that, for that reason, Buffalo, I love you. I loved it.

Speaker 2 It was perfect. And it's a good player safety thing for Buffalo, too.

Speaker 2 If you have a wedding at halftime, basically, if you want your fans to stop bringing dildos into the game, then you need to make sure that as many of them are having sex with each other as possible.

Speaker 1 Here's what I don't know, though. If these people get married at halftime of a Bills game, game, shouldn't they, by law, have like open bar for everyone for the second half?

Speaker 2 The entire stadium.

Speaker 1 Yes, they should buy a round for everyone in the stadium. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Did they do the speak now or forever, hold your peace? Because that crowd...

Speaker 1 Oh, there definitely would have been some cucks in that crowd.

Speaker 2 It would have been entirely silent except for one guy sliding down a banister on the upper deck and falling off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oof.

Speaker 1 Hank, thoughts on the game?

Speaker 1 The Bills' defense and the Patriots' defense were both incredible. No one looked good on offense.
And it pretty much came down to the special teams, the Bills, or the Patriots blocking a punt, right?

Speaker 1 So, thoughts on Josh Allen getting hurt?

Speaker 2 It's tough to see.

Speaker 3 But, I mean, that's just, it was a football play. Patriots guy didn't really do anything wrong.
He was just standing there in his position trying to stop him from getting a first down.

Speaker 3 Josh Allen runs so much.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 2 He runs well. I'll defend Hank for a second.
It was a football play.

Speaker 1 Yes. You're absolutely right.
I saw when the replay you showed us, it looked like there was nothing that the guy could have done. It wasn't a dirty head-to-head hit.

Speaker 1 The guy was running with his head into.

Speaker 2 But Josh Allen is so tall that

Speaker 2 trying to hit his head. It's like saying that you accidentally dunked.

Speaker 1 It also wasn't great because we were doing a live stream and you yelled, hit him, and then boom, he was knocked out. Again, that's a football change.
So it felt like

Speaker 1 that's what you say when you're watching the game. Yeah, hit him.
Hit him.

Speaker 1 My favorite is he's loose. I think that is.

Speaker 2 You should get a punt return. If you end up within a touchdown of the Patriots, you should get a bonus point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it was a nice, it was one of those games. I have another game like this.

Speaker 1 Actually, the next game we're going to talk about. But it was one of those games that the Bills lost, but they go away from it being like, we have something here.
You know, like, we can.

Speaker 1 And Matt Barkley coming in, he did the thing where I love when an old backup comes in and, like, the first two or three throws, you're like, ooh, maybe?

Speaker 1 And then, like, oh, you know, it's Matt Barkley. Just kidding.

Speaker 3 Them going for that fourth down was insane. Yeah.
That made no sense with the backup against the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just take the points. But you know what? You play to win the game.
Where does

Speaker 2 Where does Barkley fall on the Moxie meter for today?

Speaker 1 Daltons.

Speaker 2 Six and a half Daltons.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's a California quarterback.

Speaker 2 That's a good point. Yeah, so he's suited for Western New York.

Speaker 1 He's just a little bit. Yeah, you could never say.

Speaker 2 He's a little too chill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, one of those guys.

Speaker 2 But seriously, shout out to the Bills Mafia. I'd like to see more teams doing halftime ceremonies involving fans.

Speaker 2 They should do divorces in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be good. That would actually be great.

Speaker 2 Or like a bris at whatever double-A baseball team Tim Tebow's playing on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tim Tebow just does the circumcisions at halftime of the baseball game.

Speaker 1 All right. Chiefs' Lions.
Actually, this was my other game where both teams can walk away being like, you know what? Not so bad. So, Mahomes, first game indoors.
Yep. To quote the great Andy Reid,

Speaker 1 not all of Mozart's paintings were perfect. He's going to be on Football Guy of the Week nominee, but that is exactly what he said after the game.
Well, hard-fought win.

Speaker 2 I would step in and say probably none of Mozart's paintings were either very good.

Speaker 1 Yes. Well, no, I bet you Mozart could paint.

Speaker 2 That dude could paint. Mozart definitely painted, and people are like, oh, that's really good, Mozart, because you don't want to hurt his feelings.

Speaker 1 No, but when you're in the arts, when you're like one of those artsy guys, you have that. You can do everything.

Speaker 1 Like, artsy guys, they can all play the guitar, they can all play the piano, they can all paint and

Speaker 1 do weird shit.

Speaker 2 You think Banksy can write a symphony?

Speaker 1 I think if you put a piano in front of Banksy, he could knock out some hot cross buns or something.

Speaker 2 No, if you put a piano in front of Banksy, he would just put put a grenade on it and then walk away and be like,

Speaker 2 whatever key this grenade falls on, that's my symphony.

Speaker 1 He would draw a big picture of an elephant and then the tusk would be all the keys.

Speaker 2 Ooh, yeah. There you go.
And then it would be

Speaker 1 the ivory.

Speaker 2 And then Mickey Mouse would just be sliding down the tusk, and it would just be.

Speaker 1 Yep, with a dollar bill hat. Yep, there you go.
It's like, got it.

Speaker 2 We just banksyed. We just banks.

Speaker 1 We just banks. Classical music.
Right there. Boom.
Done. Someone draw that Bank seed for us.
That's actually a great Banksy.

Speaker 2 Do you think this was the highest BMI of any coach head-to-head matchup in the history of the NFL?

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 I'll say this about Coach Reed, though. He's never had an ankle injury.
Yeah. Because he's got enough stability in his cankles.
Those things will. Probably wear prescription socks.

Speaker 1 Those things are like concrete, like,

Speaker 1 you know. Pillars that you just can't you can't move those things.

Speaker 2 He would actually be a great defender in an and one mixed state. Yes.
Never get crossed out. Never, ever.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, it was Matt Patricia verse, Andy Reid, Mahomes indoor.

Speaker 1 And as crazy as this sounds, the Lions kind of gave this game away because they should have won it.

Speaker 1 But they also proved that they're sort of for real because they kept Mahomes to zero touchdown throws, which was first time in his career. Yep.
First time in his career.

Speaker 1 And Matt Stafford, I'm going to say this: Matt Stafford out-dueled Patrick Mahomes. Oh.
It was crazy. Are we going to go there? We'll go there.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes did not look sharp. He was missing guys.
He was throwing guys. He looked okay, but

Speaker 1 he wasn't Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 2 He also ran. He ran a lot more this time.
So there was that fourth and eight where the C's parted in front of him, and he ran for something like 25 yards on it. He looked pretty good running.

Speaker 2 He was throwing a lot more to Kelsey underneath. And by the way, Andy Reid's been listening to part of my take.
They ran the little lateral play from Kelsey to McCoy. Yes.

Speaker 2 I'm telling you, it's a future of football. Yes, that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Warren Sharp is definitely a consultant for the Kansas City Chiefs. My biggest issue is Matt Patricia end of the game.

Speaker 1 I feel like every week, if you're a Lions fan, you're sitting there and you're like, this team is actually decent. Okay.
So they can make some noise. But you go back to the Cardinals' game.

Speaker 1 They were very conservative in the second half. They basically gave that tie away.
This game, Chiefs' final drive, they're rushing three guys on every single play.

Speaker 1 Rushing three guys in the NFL is the dumbest thing you can do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, prevent defense.

Speaker 1 You basically are just letting Patrick Mahomes pick you apart, who wasn't even that good today. And so I hate when teams do that.
And I feel like, Matt Patricia, you got to tighten it up, man.

Speaker 1 Tighten it up.

Speaker 2 I have an idea for how he can do that. Okay.
I feel like we're overdue for Matt Patricia to do something like this. You need to make a beard bet with your players.

Speaker 2 Matt Patricia, I know you listen to the show. You need to say, if we win a playoff game, I'm shaving the beard.

Speaker 1 Shaving or dying it blonde. Oh, that'd be nice.
He could also do that. Or dying it Honolulu blue.

Speaker 2 He would look like the base tech for Metallica if he did that.

Speaker 1 I would be down for that. I agree with you.
There also, this was the fumble game, five fumbles in one quarter. Yeah.
And it felt like every single time we looked up, you just were like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 What the fuck? It was the game in red zone that just yo-yos back and forth, and you have no idea what's going to happen until the end.

Speaker 2 So we need to find out when does Pat Mahomes play indoors again? Because then we need to fade him. Because I do think he's allergic to air conditions.

Speaker 1 Do they play the Texans this year, maybe indoors?

Speaker 1 Check that schedule.

Speaker 1 We got to figure out when Patrick Mahomes so we can fade him every single time. You're right.
He's the reverse. Maybe that is his one crypt tonight, right?

Speaker 2 His ceilings.

Speaker 2 The ceiling is literally the roof.

Speaker 1 He can't handle the fact that he can't throw the ball like a million yards in the air when he's throwing it deep to someone.

Speaker 2 He needs the sun. He's like a plant.
Also, you pointed out a very good plant trick.

Speaker 1 A very good point when we were watching this game, PFT. The fact that the Chiefs have all their wide receivers in single digits in the teens.

Speaker 2 Annoying. It's so annoying.

Speaker 1 I hate it.

Speaker 2 I hate it so much.

Speaker 1 That's really the great point you think. They all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's absolutely great it was they're all it was great they're all in the teens and they all have like shoulder shoulder length hair yes it's very so annoying for me to to differentiate between sami watkins and me cole uh do we have the schedule someone find the schedule while you do i'll say no no more dome games oh no more dome games damn all right so we'll have to wait to fade him till next year are the super bowls outside indoors no or outdoors it's offside yeah yeah it's outside well they could play against the colts in the playoffs no i don't i do not think so.

Speaker 1 Do you want to talk about the Colts? Let's talk about the Colts. Good segue, PFT.
I know you did that on purpose. The Colts, yeesh.
Yeesh. Yeesh.

Speaker 1 You let the Raiders go East Coast time zone and beat you. Yeesh.

Speaker 1 They did not have T.Y. Hilton, which, hand up, hand up.
I'm a man of my word. I gave you the can't lose parlay.
I gave that to you.

Speaker 6 It lost.

Speaker 1 I don't know how it lost, but it lost.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize until the third quarter when they showed T.Y. Hilton on the sideline that he was out.

Speaker 2 Well, this was a recent thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, so at the time, when I gave it a can't lose parlay, it could not lose.

Speaker 2 There was a material change between the time you gave the can't lose and between game time. Thank you.
So we'll have to try again next week, but it's all invalid if there's a material change. Yes.

Speaker 1 So the Raiders stole one from the Colts. John Gruden and Derek Carr are back together.
Mike Lennon, we had a tease of Mike Glennon.

Speaker 1 When we got those tweets saying Mike Lennon is warming up, I got so excited.

Speaker 1 And And the other thing I wrote down is Vontez Berfict is a fucking asshole.

Speaker 2 That's true. Is he allowed in London for next week's game? He's the worst.
I'm pretty sure that if he tried to get a passport, they would just be like, ah.

Speaker 1 So we were making the jokes. We saw that he was kicked out of the game.
I think he was giving people the finger and yelling at people and doing like theatrics as he went out.

Speaker 1 I didn't look up the hit until right before we started the show. I wanted to do my research, see if Vontez Berfict maybe isn't a total asshole.
Nope, he's a total asshole. Did you see it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he saw his head, and he was like, I'm going to put my head on that head.

Speaker 1 He had to go out of his way to go helmet on helmet on that one.

Speaker 2 Remember the old Monday Night Football matchup logos that they used to do where it'd just be two helmets crashing against each other? That's basically like a career highlight film of Vontez Perfect.

Speaker 1 That was sobering to think about, like, thinking about what that was and how awesome it was.

Speaker 2 And now. And they used to smash.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jacked up. The Raiders are a prime candidate for our little drill that we do here of see how many players you can name off the top of your head real quick, and that's how many wins they'll have.

Speaker 2 So, what is it, five seconds?

Speaker 1 Jacobs,

Speaker 1 Derek Carr, Mike Glennon,

Speaker 1 Nathan Peterman, Fontes

Speaker 1 Vantes Berfect.

Speaker 1 Oh, the guy, the guy, no, the other guy, the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the other guy, the tight end guy, the, the, the, everyone's talking about him: Salmon, Salman.
No,

Speaker 1 Salman. Oh, Salman.
And Alec Engels. Waller.
Waller? Darren Waller. Darren Waller.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, we got it.
Rinfro.

Speaker 2 I think we ended up at about...

Speaker 1 That's too many.

Speaker 2 I think in the time frame that was allotted, we ended up at about six.

Speaker 1 Which feels right.

Speaker 1 Their roster turns over so much that John Gruden said that he had just met the Z receiver that they had out there today. Yeah.
He's like, no, I'm not kidding, man.

Speaker 2 Just met him. Just met him.

Speaker 2 Just met him right before the game. Looked me in my eye and said, you can catch a football.

Speaker 1 So this is. The Raiders are a perfect example of why gambling on the NFL is so stupid.
Because that team stinks. And they just went into Indianapolis and won.

Speaker 1 That team stinks, and they won. So,

Speaker 1 road game

Speaker 1 Sunday. Oh, goat.
We need a first down, boys.

Speaker 1 It's the fourth quarter with two minutes left in the game. And the pressure's on.

Speaker 2 Great uniform battle, by the way, in New Orleans and Dallas.

Speaker 1 Before we get to the next game, quick word from our sponsor. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, next up, Chargers, Dolphins. Say something nice about the Dolphins.
The Dolphins had a lead. That's very nice.
The Dolphins had a lead.

Speaker 2 That's really nice. Way to go, Dolphins.

Speaker 1 Good job.

Speaker 1 Josh Rosen threw a touchdown. Josh Rosen,

Speaker 1 they were winning.

Speaker 2 He didn't have a Josh Rosen stat line today. Yes.

Speaker 1 So progress. Well, he was four for four at one point.
Yeah, there you go. He won.
There you go.

Speaker 2 Their stadium looks like a very cost-effective and environmentally friendly toilet.

Speaker 1 Their stadium,

Speaker 1 you can get in very easily because there's a lot of tickets.

Speaker 2 We're running out of movie clips to show different ways that Dolphins are getting slaughtered.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and to be totally honest, it's super depressing every single Sunday when we have to find something about actual dolphins dying. Save the dolphins.

Speaker 1 Put it in to, yeah, we need to do a save the dolphin, go fund me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They should just sell naming rights at their stadium to Greenpeace. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the dolphins. That was our nice thing about the dolphins.
That was a good segue.

Speaker 2 Oh, Marlin's man doesn't seem to be associated with you in any way.

Speaker 1 That's really good because you're bad.

Speaker 1 If you were good, he'd probably

Speaker 2 stand out with that jersey. Right.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's true.
Oh, Teddy, what are you doing? Oh. Oh, Teddy McGrath.
My sack. Out of field goal range, you fucking idiot.
Why would you do that?

Speaker 1 Now they're going to lose.

Speaker 1 They're going to lose.

Speaker 1 We're not saying that. How do you take that sack? We're not saying that.
How do you take that sack?

Speaker 2 You know what's going to happen.

Speaker 2 Cowboys are going to win by one point.

Speaker 1 Who took the money? We're going to lose all of them.

Speaker 1 Right. Exactly.
I mean, how do you take that sack, Teddy Bridgewater?

Speaker 2 Congrats to Phillip Rivers. He won a game going east.
I know. He was not trailing in the fourth quarter.
He's just play every game against the Dolphins.

Speaker 2 I think he said something about it after the game: like,

Speaker 2 we usually shoot ourselves in the foot when we play in this state.

Speaker 1 You are right, though. The Chargers going east and playing in the hot Miami sun and winning is just a testament to how bad the Dolphins are.
In an early game. They don't win that game.

Speaker 1 In any other year.

Speaker 2 No, they don't.

Speaker 1 They do not win that game. I can't believe Teddy took that sack.
Okay. They're going to lose, Hank.
No, they're going to lose. They're going to lose.
I'm telling you right now.

Speaker 1 They kick a field.

Speaker 2 Do they get to the elephant in the room here? Yes. Bears, Vikings.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to do Bears-Viking? You want to hop ahead? That's the late games. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Well, wait.
We're going chronologically.

Speaker 1 Don't jump the gun. We're going to talk about the.

Speaker 2 What about Mitch, though?

Speaker 1 We're going to talk about all that.

Speaker 2 Would you want Eli?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Shut up. All right.

Speaker 1 That's a good way to get to Redskins, Giants. No, I don't want fucking Eli.
Chase Daniels is good.

Speaker 1 Redskins Giants.

Speaker 1 Daniel Jones dressed literally from Eli Manning's closet. Yes.
I cannot believe he showed up. Well, actually, I can believe he showed up like that.
But holy shit. He had a North Face backpack.

Speaker 1 He looked like he was taking the train to Wall Street

Speaker 1 as an intern at Goldman Sachs in the summertime.

Speaker 2 Hot seat Cam Newton because this is real swag is no swag. They call him Danny Dimes because that's how much he spends on his wardrobe.

Speaker 1 Incredible look from him. He, he,

Speaker 1 like, time has gone by, and they just still have Eli. Except he can be mobile now because Danny Jones, oh, Danny Jones, uh, can actually run and make plays with his feet.

Speaker 2 Yes, he looks like Eli Manning with stem cell therapy. Yes.
Like he's a functioning body that is contained inside Eli. There's a fake injury.

Speaker 1 There's a fake injury coming up.

Speaker 1 Dwayne Haskins, by the way. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, so here's the thing. They said all week long, Jay Gruden said all week long, the season's not lost.
We're not going to play Dwayne Haskins just because

Speaker 2 the Giants are playing their rookie quarterback.

Speaker 1 But Hank said we're not going to play.

Speaker 1 I could see it from a mile away. Hank.

Speaker 2 So something happened in the first or second quarter where John Gruden was like, or Jay Gruden was like, yeah, the season is officially lost.

Speaker 1 I agree with you. That is a terrible, terrible way to have your rookie quarterback, your first-round draft pick, enter the season.
Why not? Okay,

Speaker 1 Good organization lets their rookie quarterbacks start after a bye week, right? Lets them get into the flow, feel like they know what's going on, get first-team reps.

Speaker 1 Decent organization lets their rookie quarterbacks start and lets them know on Monday morning. So they get the first team reps and they get the game plan and the install and everything like that.

Speaker 1 Like shitty but oak, shitty, just shitty level organization gives their rookie quarterback time to know that they're going into the game.

Speaker 1 The Redskins don't even do that. No, they don't.
They let him go into the second quarter. They don't even give him half time.
They're like, hey, we need a

Speaker 1 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 It's very clearly a case of Dan Snyder picking up the red emergency phone that he keeps.

Speaker 2 He just has a cell phone. He has a special cell phone in his pocket that's spray-painted red that he uses to call the coach when it's an emergency.
And this was, frankly, it was bad.

Speaker 2 It was a very bad way to put him in. I will spin zone and say this was a trap game for the Redskins.
Yep. So a divisional opponent with a rookie quarterback.
You probably underestimated him.

Speaker 2 So I'm going to chalk this one up to a trap game. Fortunately, next weekend, we've got the Patriots at home to get back on the roads.
Actually, that's a trap game for the Patriots next weekend.

Speaker 1 Let's do the new thing we're doing. Guess that line? GTL.
Okay. GTL, Jim Tam Laundry.
Guess that line. I'm going to say, where is it? Redskins? At Redskins? I'm going to say

Speaker 1 Patriots minus 17 and a half.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say 15.5.

Speaker 1 13 and a half. Whoa.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm going to get very rich.

Speaker 1 Damn, way off. I was way off.
No, no, no, no. That's my guess.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Would you have it? No. Who has it?

Speaker 2 16. 16.

Speaker 1 There you go. Okay.

Speaker 2 So none of us. I won.
I had 15 and a half.

Speaker 1 You can't go under.

Speaker 2 I bought the extra half point, though.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it. Yeah.
By the way, Claude does a great job of GTL.

Speaker 2 Check this out. The Redskins, I don't know.
So you're very obviously not going to keep Jay Gruden, right?

Speaker 2 You have a murderer's row of potential interim head coaches on the defensive side of the football game. You have Jim Tom Sula

Speaker 2 and you have Rob Ryan.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 2 Either one of both of them. Roll both of them out there together.

Speaker 2 Either one of those guys would be an awesome interim head coach. Terrible head coach.
Yes. But for one week, give me Jim Tom.
I like that.

Speaker 2 Just like making his players roll around on a bed of glue and thumbtacks all week.

Speaker 1 Dude, Jimbo getting out there. I fucking need it.
We need Jimbo out there. All right, so there's 34 seconds left in this game.

Speaker 1 Hold on, let's finish the Redskins Giants, then we'll watch the rest of this game.

Speaker 1 Brill Peppers, nice game. Also, I realize that everyone now is calling a guy who was going to be, he was actually like in the Heisman conversation when he was at Michigan.

Speaker 1 He is now just referred to as guy in the Odell trade. Yep.
That was when everyone was like, hey, remember the guy in Odell trade? I think the Saints just scored a touchdown, which would be 21.

Speaker 2 I took them second half as well. Show me that score bug update.

Speaker 1 I took them second half as well. Give me the bug.
Give us the bug. Give me the bug.
Bug. Careful, Doug.
Bug.

Speaker 2 They blew this dead out of it. Give me chair.
Give me the bug.

Speaker 1 Bug. Bug.
Give me the bug, Chris Collins worth. Bug.
Bug.

Speaker 1 That's going to be not a fumble. It's a complete pass.
Damn it. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, Jabril Peppers, who is the guy in the Odell trade now.

Speaker 1 Really nice game. And the Giants' defense played very, very well.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't know if that was because of Dwayne Haskins, but yeah, they played very well, which was the first time in a very long time.

Speaker 1 I actually read somewhere someone wrote, like, this is the best Giants' defensive performance in 10 years, which seems incredible.

Speaker 2 It does seem incredible until I feel like they're going to be able to get a game

Speaker 2 for who they're playing against.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Should we pause the show for this last play? Let's pause the show for this last play.

Speaker 3 Well, there's a few more plays, but there's just the last try.

Speaker 1 Well, hopefully, this is the last play.

Speaker 1 Second down at 10. Hopefully, this is the last play.
Get him. Get him.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Okay.
You can. Oh,

Speaker 1 no. There's a flag.

Speaker 1 Second and 20. 25 seconds left.
Dak. You suck.
Dak. You suck.
You suck. You suck.
You suck. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 He drew quadruple coverage.

Speaker 2 That's an old Kellen Moore special right there.

Speaker 1 Oh, the dome is rocking.

Speaker 2 Is it time to ask if the shine is coming off Kellen Moore?

Speaker 1 This was a classic game.

Speaker 1 We said it before. They've beaten nobody.
I think the Cowboys are good, but

Speaker 1 be wary.

Speaker 2 How about Jerry Jones on Bourbon Street?

Speaker 1 Are we sure they're good?

Speaker 2 Okay, it is second and ten. Two seconds left.
Last play of the game. Daxon shotgun.

Speaker 2 We have 10 personnel.

Speaker 2 10 personnel on the field. You don't really see.
Oh, they blitzed.

Speaker 1 I love the blitz. I love the blitz.
Great blitz.

Speaker 2 Didn't give him a chance. Not

Speaker 1 accepted.

Speaker 1 Knock it down. Good play call.
All right. Boom.
Game over.

Speaker 2 Trebrees is going to hurt his thumb, giving a thumbs up.

Speaker 1 Hank, Moneyline. Moneyline, Saints.

Speaker 2 Felt good. Good job, Hank.

Speaker 1 Way to go, everyone. Again,

Speaker 2 this was another game where I don't think I saw Jason Garrett talk the entire game. I don't think that he speaks during games.
Good game, boys.

Speaker 1 Way to go. Okay, let's get back into it.
That was great. Felt good.
I don't know how much we'll use. Whatever.
You want to actually talk about that game real quick?

Speaker 1 Let's talk about that game real quick. Cowboys, Saints.
This was, we were talking about it beforehand. This is a classic case of Cowboys.
While I think they are a good team, they have played no one.

Speaker 1 And so having to go to the dome, the dome is different, you know that, is a tough place to go, and their offense looked pedestrian.

Speaker 1 And they are running a masterclass, the Saints, on why you should actually pay a competent backup. Yes.
Because Teddy Bridgewater now has a win in Seattle and a win at home against Dallas.

Speaker 1 Drew Brees can come back in a month, and they will still be in striking distance of all their goals.

Speaker 2 Right. You just need a quarterback to tread water for the time that Drew Brees is going to be hurt.
And they showed him before the game. He was doing thumb exercises.

Speaker 1 He was like, that's thumb wars.

Speaker 2 That's got to be a sick injury to come back from. Just, Drew, go home and play video games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or just literally thumb war all your seven kids, but not your daughter, because you don't include her. No, that's right.

Speaker 2 Anything. Real shame.
Yes.

Speaker 2 They're definitely going to be doing that motorcycle celebration in the locker room afterwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. So speaking of the Cowboys' overreaction, it's a good segue to the next game we got.
The overreaction bowl, the Browns and the Ravens.

Speaker 1 So the Browns were dead after Sunday night football. Freddie Kitchens, we all had our laughs.

Speaker 1 The Ravens were anointed one of the best teams in the AFC after beating the Miami Dolphins and the Arizona Cardinals and playing the Chiefs semi-tough, although it was a lot of garbage time.

Speaker 1 You come out there and it's like, oh, shit, this is why it's hard to predict the NFL.

Speaker 1 And week to week, a team that just wants it more, which it seemed like the Browns did, can look completely different.

Speaker 1 They actually ran the ball, and now the Ravens are looking at giving up over 1,000 yards total in the last two weeks, and their defense sucks.

Speaker 2 That's a very nuanced take, Big Cat, but nuance doesn't play in the big leagues. I'm going to give you a much easier take.
The Ravens are frauds.

Speaker 1 The Ravens are hot for the fall.

Speaker 2 The Ravens are frauds. Hot for fraudulent football teams.
I don't know what fraud means in the context of football team, really, but it feels great to call a team a fraud.

Speaker 2 I was told that the Ravens would be great, and I heard you say this earlier, but there's some truth to it, that when you see the color of the Ravens' jerseys on defense,

Speaker 2 you think that they're going to be good just because they used to be.

Speaker 1 Ray Lewis.

Speaker 1 It's the exact same principle

Speaker 2 of why we keep electing Kennedys and Bushes. Right.
You see? Because, oh, there's another one. Oh, yeah.
Let's put that guy in office. He won't fuck everything up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, stability. Worst thing he'll do is run away from a car crash.
Start of the war. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that sort of thing.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 it is kind of confusing seeing the defense look really, really bad, especially against the Browns whose offense didn't look great over the last couple weeks.

Speaker 1 But they ran the ball.

Speaker 2 But how much credit are we giving to Rex Ryan for this for lighting a fire? What did I tell you last week? It's true. Baker needs to be pissed off.
Yes. And he hasn't been pissed off recently.

Speaker 1 And, like we said, the meatball, they ran the ball. Rick Chubb was awesome.

Speaker 2 They ran the damn ball.

Speaker 1 They established the run, and everything went off of that. Yep.
And

Speaker 1 so let me ask you this. Odell, Jarvis Landry was awesome.
He got, I think, concussed in the third quarter, but he was awesome until that point.

Speaker 1 Odell did not have big numbers, but it's a classic case of if Odell's not on the field, everyone else doesn't eat because everyone's covering Odell and they're putting a lot of attention on him.

Speaker 1 Do you think Odell is okay with that week in and week out, not quote-unquote eating?

Speaker 2 Am I not

Speaker 1 the pussy video he had to go viral?

Speaker 2 Not that one. Do I think that Odell is going to be pissed off because he doesn't eat? Eat.
I think, yeah. Well, I think he's going to be more mad that he got his earring ripped out.

Speaker 2 That was a tough break for him. He got pinned to the ground.

Speaker 1 That was bound to happen. He was been wearing too much jewelry.

Speaker 2 He was hanging out with the Kardashians. Didn't he date Chloe for a little bit?

Speaker 2 That's a big Kardashian thing.

Speaker 1 Get your jewelry store.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think he might have made.
Look that up.

Speaker 2 I'm 92% sure that I'm right, that he at least has had sex with somebody related to the Kardashians.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. Look it up.
Look it up.

Speaker 2 If you did, that's not a fair thing. Then I'm a fraud.
Then I'm a fraud.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank. Look it up.

Speaker 2 I have a prediction. Check that, Hank.
I have a prediction. John Harbaugh is going to be giving a lot of post-game press conferences where he explains why math is correct.

Speaker 1 Yes. He went for two.
He's a math whiz. He's one of our new math whizzes where it's so awesome.

Speaker 1 When I explained it to the people we were watching with, everyone looked at me like I was, I don't actually know the statistics behind it, but I just know if you're down 14 and you score a touchdown, go for two.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 And then when everyone says, that's so stupid, and then I say, ha ha, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's more than 50% chance you're going to get one of the two-point conversions, you idiot.

Speaker 2 I would just always go for two. Always go for two.
He got it. Yeah, because.

Speaker 1 But then the Browns scored like seven more touchdowns.

Speaker 2 I feel like the media landscape's changed enough where if you just go for two all the time, everybody would be like, that's a great call. I love that guy.
He believes in his guys. That's what he does.

Speaker 2 He believes in his guys. Analytics.
And he hates kickers.

Speaker 1 He's an analytical coach. He's going for two and going for it on fourth down.
It's true.

Speaker 1 The tides have changed where if you just get aggressive, the nerds on Twitter will back you up and the dumb fans like ourselves will be like, well, there's some kind of math behind this.

Speaker 1 I don't really understand. So I'll just trust it.

Speaker 2 I'm used to seeing coaches or players kick field goals after touchdowns. So why are they not kicking a field goal?

Speaker 1 That's the same. Hank.
No. Not dating.
No. Not dating.

Speaker 3 There were pictures once where they were just talking to each other.

Speaker 1 No doubt. Wow, PFT.
Very misogynistic. You think every woman you talked to you had sex with?

Speaker 2 Well, I mean,

Speaker 2 he didn't talk to Lena Dunham and he didn't have sex with her.

Speaker 1 Damn. Well, yeah, that was a bet.
They don't like each other. Well, Lena's family.
She's probably not drafting Odell on her fantasy TV.

Speaker 2 She doesn't like him because he didn't hit on her.

Speaker 1 He swerved her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Curved? He curved. He curved.
Curved, swerved. What swerved.

Speaker 2 Curved. What swerved.
Curve stopped her.

Speaker 1 Nope. Not American History X.
Shout out that.

Speaker 2 Great movie. Also, I want to have a word with whoever introduced the Harbaugh

Speaker 2 to transition lenses.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
That's a big thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, both of them now are wearing the glasses that turn dark all the time. Yes.
Depending on their mood, depending on how far behind they are in a game, they get progressively darker. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I want want to see a new millennial coach rocking Google Glass on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 Cliff, Cliff Kingsbury. I bet you we'll get that.
You mean like some telecast will make us do it.

Speaker 2 I want to see Freddie Kitchens wearing Google Glass on the sideline. Yeah.
That would be perfect.

Speaker 1 He would be so confused. He'd probably get Vertigo.

Speaker 1 He'd probably convince himself he had vertigo.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, dude, they're not even on. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 All right. Oh,

Speaker 1 ready for this? Ready for this statement?

Speaker 1 Go there. Cleveland Browns are in first place for the first time since 2014.
Good job, Cleveland. There you go, Cleveland.

Speaker 2 And they're rocking the neon Browns every week.

Speaker 1 It's got to feel great that they're back because it was that Sunday night loss of the Rams. We're going one and two.

Speaker 1 Big road game coming up against the Ravens. Now you're two and two.
You're feeling good. And no matter what happens.
The rest of the division is kind of trash.

Speaker 2 No matter what happens in the Monday night game, they're still going to be in first place. Correct.
Yeah, and you still went on the road in Baltimore.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 and you still get to play the bengals and the steelers four times i love that so let's go get that in front of you uh okay next up the game that red zone forgot we talk about this all the time but there's always one game on sunday that red zone just forgot because there's just no exciting plays they play in the middle of the field you have to actually say to yourself oh yeah that game's going on you know which game i'm talking about Tell me.

Speaker 2 You're talking about the Texans and the Panthers.

Speaker 1 Yes. I don't even think they played it.
I don't They should play. They saw no plays.

Speaker 2 That game, and then also the Chargers-Dolphins game. They should replay those games in their entirety on Tuesday and Wednesday.
And say they're live. Say they're live.

Speaker 2 Nobody would ever know the difference.

Speaker 1 They would absolutely not know. All I know is I saw

Speaker 1 a couple highlights, and it was basically just Christian McCaffrey being awesome.

Speaker 1 And Ron Rivera has like his wet dream team now. In a weird way, now the Cam's out.
They can just

Speaker 1 make Christian McCaffrey. He's touched the ball 37 times.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 27 carries,

Speaker 2 10 receptions. That's sustainable.

Speaker 1 And just play some defense. That's it.
Just like, hey, one guy's good. Just make sure he has the ball half the time and then play some defense.

Speaker 2 And then have Luke Keekly make 17 tackles. And that's Ron Rivera football, baby.

Speaker 1 Is Thomas Davis still out there? No, he's not. Okay, well, yeah, Luke, you need to do

Speaker 1 actually 24 tackles.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Luke, can you break your arm and play on it? Because our defense kind of thrives off that kind of spark. I did also see that Deshaun Watson didn't go home after the game.

Speaker 2 He went back onto the field and got some extra work done.

Speaker 1 Oh, and got carted off?

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm going to say this right now. J.J.
Watts saw that and was pissed off.

Speaker 2 He probably just drove out of his driveway and sped to the stadium. He was like, no one's going to outwork me.
I need to go stand on the field, too.

Speaker 1 Deshaun Watson. Oh, please save Deshaun Watson.
He got sacked six times. Oh, that's sucked.
So, yeah, he's getting smoked. That does suck, though.
It does. He's getting killed.

Speaker 1 He gets killed every single game. And this is why we cannot trust the Texans, even though I was ready to trust them last week.
They go and do this.

Speaker 1 And they lose to a team they probably should have beaten at home. And Deshaun Watson gets fucking crushed again because their offensive line sucks.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Kyle Allen also lost three fumbles. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does he have small hands?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't know what those saber metrics are, but I think that he was also drafted in the sixth round.
So it's between him, Gardner Minshew, and

Speaker 2 Luke Falk to see who the new Tom Brady is. I might have just made that up about Kyle Allen.

Speaker 1 He feels like...

Speaker 2 No, he was undrafted, I think. He does have small hands.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Does he he really?

Speaker 2 Yeah, nine and three eighths. Yeah.

Speaker 2 There we go.

Speaker 1 Probably. People asked him afterwards if his hand size has anything to do with it.
And he said it has nothing to do with it.

Speaker 2 That's a really embarrassing question to ask.

Speaker 1 Really? But it's also correct.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He's like Alex Smith of the South.

Speaker 1 Your hands are small, dude.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that. I never would have been on the Panthers if I had known that.
Also,

Speaker 2 Bill O'Brien ran maybe the worst trick play in history. I didn't see that.
It was about the level of creativity you would expect from Bill O'Brien.

Speaker 2 It was, I think it was a reverse, but then a pass across the field that your wide receiver threw across the entire field. And it was probably the easiest interception I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 That makes sense.

Speaker 2 He's like trying to be like Doug Johnson, except I don't think that, yeah. Bill O'Brien, he watches.
Good coaches on television. He's like, I'm a coach.
I can be a good coach like that guy, too.

Speaker 2 But he just has zero creativity.

Speaker 1 Someday when I grow up, I'm going to coach like that guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because he's never going to get fired. No.
He's the general manager. What is he going to do? Fire himself?

Speaker 1 He has everything in Houston.

Speaker 1 PFT, I have a SeatKey question for you. Okay.

Speaker 2 Promo code take, $10 off.

Speaker 1 See key question.

Speaker 1 Go to a game. Go to an NFL game.
See Key question.

Speaker 1 Is Jameis Winston good?

Speaker 2 I think he's reached the point where we have to ask the question: if Bruce Arian,

Speaker 2 let me give you a SeatKey question right back.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Did Bruce Arians finally get through to Jameis Winston?

Speaker 1 We watched that entire game, and the Rams defense was terrible. But Jameis Winston was good.
And he even was doing the things like you could count on Jameis Winston every single day.

Speaker 1 He did throw a pick six, which is almost perfect. Like, hey, remember this guy? I'm still in here.
He gave us a little taste of that.

Speaker 1 But he did the thing where like Jameis Winston backpedaling, arms flopping everywhere, doesn't throw a pick. And you're like, what's going on?

Speaker 2 Mike Evans is going on.

Speaker 1 Mike Evans is going on.

Speaker 1 Godwin is going on. Godwin is insane.
He's Going off. Going off and on.
And yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't really know what to make of these Bucs. I think they're just going to be in fun games every week.

Speaker 2 You know how I'm going to file this one? They're coming off a long week.

Speaker 1 They had a Danny Dimes? They had...

Speaker 2 Oh, shit, I forgot about that week. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you were thinking of

Speaker 2 the other week. They've had

Speaker 1 two weeks. Yeah.
Last week.

Speaker 2 was off a long week and they overthought it. And now

Speaker 2 they're back in their normal swing of things and their routine. So they're able to game plan properly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 So they're feeling the normal. They're getting back into the saddle.
They're feeling good about a seven-day schedule as opposed to a 12-game schedule.

Speaker 1 I love when these random games break out where it's just a big 12-game in the NFL. And it was awesome to watch.
Shaq Barrett has nine sacks through four games. Nine.
That's a lot. Nine.
That's insane.

Speaker 1 And Jared Goff threw for 517 yards.

Speaker 2 He had a a pretty good game.

Speaker 1 That's all I saw. Yeah.

Speaker 1 For throwing for over 500 yards, you have to be really good.

Speaker 2 That's pretty impressive. Like, really good.
Hank, what are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 1 That's very impressive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't see any other part of his stats, but 517 yards, that's a lot. I'll bet Bruce Arians.

Speaker 3 I think I saw a stat where it's like he was 6-1 against other number one draft picks. Like, that's just the odds, you know.
Sometimes it comes the other way.

Speaker 1 That's right. That's true.
That's a good point.

Speaker 2 I bet Bruce Arians fucking hates Sean McVay. Just a feeling I get from him.
Like two different styles of coach entirely.

Speaker 2 Like, Sean McVay has a photographic memory. Bruce Arians drinks paint to forget the lifetime that he spent in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Sean McVay has his perfectly manicured beard. Bruce Arians has that bright red face that looks like he's eight whiskeys deep at all times.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that matches the tint of his sunglasses that he wore. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Those sunglasses were so swaggy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well,

Speaker 2 here's a downside to Sean McVay. You know the old saying, like, this guy's forgotten more about football than you'll ever know.

Speaker 2 No one will ever say that about Sean McVay because he remembers everything. That's true.
That's not cool.

Speaker 1 The other thing that the Bucs have going for him, and this is going to sound stupid because I feel like most teams have this, but for some reason, if you have a coach that was recently fired on your staff as a defensive or offensive coordinator, I just feel like you're cheating because you have more brain power.

Speaker 2 You have two head coaches.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when I see Todd Bowles, I'm like, whoa,

Speaker 1 they have a shitload of guys.

Speaker 2 Great coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he got fired for a reason. Right?

Speaker 1 But my brain says, oh my God, they have so much.

Speaker 1 They have so much going on here. Like, they have all these head coaches, head coach caliber guys.
It's incredible. Their staff is loaded.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like a movie that's got Glenn Close

Speaker 2 doing a cameo in it. You're like, oh, she's won an Academy Award.
This must be a great movie.

Speaker 1 Right. Like, he was a coach.
Someone hired him as a head coach. Now he's our defensive coordinator.

Speaker 2 That's awesome. Counterpoint, Wade Phillips is a coach of the Rams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that, no, I think the same thing.

Speaker 2 Neither defense played particularly well. It was a puffy burger against an almost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was one of those things. Sometimes games just get out of hand.
You can't rein it in.

Speaker 2 Also, it's just not the same.

Speaker 1 It just gets out of hand. It's great to see

Speaker 2 you got Byron Leftwich on the sidelines as a quarterback's coach.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 2 So when Byron Leftwich is skinnier now than Jameis is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when Byron Leftwich goes and gets, I think he's actually offensive coordinator now.

Speaker 1 When Byron Leftwich gets a head coaching job and then gets fired two years later and then comes back, that's just more brain power. I like that.
I'm going to be like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 Now they're just, now they're going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 You know how Bruce Arians was saying he was psyched to get a C on his health test? Yes.

Speaker 2 Is it possible that he's dead and this is a week into Bernie situation where the team is being run by Todd Bulls and Byron Lefwich and Arians is rocking bright red sunglasses so no one can see his eyes?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't think that you could be that. Well, except for the fact that he fixed Jameis Winston.

Speaker 2 That's true. Yeah.
He has fixed him. Well, he's gotten through to him.

Speaker 1 Yes, he's gotten through to him. All right, let's go to Bruce Arians' former team, the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 seahawks cardinals yeah uh this game was over almost instantly jadavian clowny with a pick six and then it was like okay this game's over so the only thing i wrote down was did you know that the cardinals do you know the cardinals kickers first name

Speaker 1 no zane oh that's sweet you can't win with a kicker named zane i think you can he missed like a bunch of kicks you can win with a kicker named zane you can't win with a quarterback named zane no you can't win with a kicker named zane when you when a zane Zane goes for the game-winning kick in the fourth quarter, you're not making it.

Speaker 3 It would be great for Berman, though.

Speaker 2 It would, but listen. And Zane in the members.

Speaker 1 When you say to yourself, like, hey, Zane's coming out, I think his name's Zane Gonzalez. Because Zane Gonzalez is coming out for the big kick.
No.

Speaker 2 Uh-uh. Okay, it doesn't sound right.
Not to go off on a whole chase tangent, but Zane does sound like a guy that rides like a goped and sells weed to surfers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Zane has frosted tips, even though it's still not the late 90s anymore. And he probably has a pacifier in his mouth because he's just so high on Molly all the time.
Zane's

Speaker 2 he's making mashups stoned in his basement of Crazy Town and the Beatles. Yeah.
And saying, hey, you got to check this one out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Zane is definitely dating girls that are like 60. Like, Zane, is that girl 16? You're like, no, no, dude.

Speaker 1 She's told me she's 18. It's like, yeah, Zane.
Yeah, I don't know, Zane. She drove.
She over here. Yeah, dude.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 she drove over here with

Speaker 1 her mom's minivan. Yeah, she's no, she's definitely in a Zane.
I don't know, dude.

Speaker 2 I'll say this: I would not let a guy named Zane do my taxes or hang out with my children. Or kick.
But I would let him kick for

Speaker 1 the Cardinals.

Speaker 2 That's a safe space for Zane's.

Speaker 1 Zane is the.

Speaker 2 How much damage could a person named Zane do to the reputation of the Arizona Cardinals franchise?

Speaker 1 Here's where Zane is if you want a Zane in your organization. Zane is the guy who makes the smoothies next to

Speaker 1 where you lift in the fucking facility. That's Zane.
Zane is your pseudo-nutritionist who will also slip you some steroids. Yes.
That's Zane. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 You can see how that Zane.

Speaker 2 I can, but it's one of these things where it's no harm, no foul. It's the Arizona Cardinals.
I would not expect a Zane to be a kicker for a reputable franchise.

Speaker 1 Our stats department just texted us. Zane was the Browns kicker for the Owen 16 season.
Okay. That's Zane.
Yeah. I don't know how it didn't register, but Zane is not a kicker that you can...

Speaker 1 You can't win with a Zane. And if Zane listens listens to the show and he's an AWO, I take back everything I said.

Speaker 3 What about a chase, Piccat? Can you win with a chase?

Speaker 2 Well, you want to do the chase?

Speaker 1 You want to do the chase?

Speaker 2 I had a couple more notes about that game.

Speaker 1 Okay, other than Zane. Other than Zane.
Believe it or not, Luke Wilson.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He hauled in two of the most chillest catches in NFC West history. He didn't score a touchdown.
He didn't, but he had two sweet catches.

Speaker 1 Because a Seahawks tight end scored a touchdown. That's just jumped out of your seat.
You're like, is that Luke?

Speaker 2 I thought it was Luke. I was excited, but no, they were just like, they were real nice, relaxed catches.
They were nice. Luke's backbait.
It is what it is. It's not what it's not.

Speaker 2 And then I'm starting to draw a little comparison. It's a take that I'm working on right here.
I think the stars are going to fall in line on this as we keep exploring a little bit.

Speaker 2 But I think that Russell Wilson is football Steph Curry.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson is football Steph Curry.

Speaker 2 Now, follow me on this. He's a little undersized.

Speaker 2 They're both undersized. They both wear wax shoes.
Their wives are more attractive than they are.

Speaker 2 They have championships, but neither one has a finals or Super Bowl MVP. They both lost their teams a championship on a last-second shot/slash pass.
And

Speaker 2 Russell Wilson's mouthpiece, there's some tomfoolery going on. There is.
He sticks it in his helmet all the time.

Speaker 2 And so when he's running around, if somebody hits his helmet or if there's a head-to-head collision, it goes flying like a little mini flag, letting the refs know that they should throw theirs.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest with you, I don't hate it except for the fact that my brain can never make a basketball-football football crossover unless it's a tight end. Okay.
Like, I can't. I'm just gonna go.

Speaker 1 I know, I know he's chomp. I'm following him.
He's got that booty. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's tough to bring down. Steph Curry in the pocket would get smoked.
So that's where if you just want to go tight ends. Okay.

Speaker 2 Former Seahawks tight end

Speaker 2 used to play basketball.

Speaker 1 Is Draymond Green. Yeah.
Okay, I'm with you.

Speaker 2 The Warriors have many basketball players on their team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, please keep it simple.

Speaker 2 Okay. I'm just saying there are going to be more things that fall into line.
I've got a whole whole Pipe Sylvia thing going on.

Speaker 1 Let me put that in our tickler file. Okay.

Speaker 1 You want to do the Chase game? Chase Daniel? Let's talk about Chase. Let's talk about Chase.

Speaker 2 Chase Daniel is a quarterback.

Speaker 1 A winning quarterback. Well, the Bears are back.

Speaker 2 He got the quarterback save.

Speaker 1 The quarterback save.

Speaker 2 So they were winning when he got in, and they were winning when the game was over. Okay.

Speaker 1 So Chase Daniel.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't know how I'm going to phrase this.

Speaker 1 Well, let me start here.

Speaker 2 Addition by subtraction.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Let me start here.

Speaker 1 I said this like last week or the week before.

Speaker 1 This Bears team is a parody of every Bears team ever. Ever.
My entire life. This is the Bears team.
They play good defense.

Speaker 1 There's a quarterback that everyone's like, the whole city's like, I don't know, I don't know. And then to add on all of that, we now have the backup come in and play well.

Speaker 1 And so we will get calls to ESPN 1000 and 670 to score and people saying you've got to play Chase Daniel. He's the quarterback.
Chase Daniel is a good backup quarterback.

Speaker 1 Chase Daniel can run the offense. I actually think that the way Chase Daniel plays will be complimentary to this defense.

Speaker 1 And the fact that if you saw the first half, I think the Vikings had two possessions.

Speaker 1 Chase Daniel is just going to hit like four yards, four-yard slants, and four-yard outs, and hand the ball off, and the Bears will control the clock and play defense and win games ugly.

Speaker 1 And that is Chicago Bears football. And now that we have the backup in, it is the perfect.
We have like completed the circle for the perfect Chicago Bears parody season that is taking place right now.

Speaker 2 I think that Chase has a lower ceiling, but a higher floor.

Speaker 1 I would agree with that.

Speaker 2 Than Mitchell does?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he's not going to make mistakes. He's not going to lose you the game.

Speaker 1 But he also, the problem with Chase Daniel is if the Bears ever get into a game where they have to score and have to throw the ball downfield, he's not going to be that guy.

Speaker 1 But if you're talking about winning games in the middle of October and winning with your defense, Chase Daniel is perfectly adequate to do that.

Speaker 2 Right. So do we want to apologize to Chases?

Speaker 1 Because we put him on the high.

Speaker 2 Well, some might say that we motivated Chases last week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 we can add a list of one thing that Chases can do, and that is be a backup quarterback on the Bears.

Speaker 1 Also, Chase Daniel,

Speaker 1 I had a long time series that I used to write about. I think I had the starting five

Speaker 1 all-fat face team, and I'd update it every year back when I used to blog.

Speaker 2 Chase Daniel, Hall of Fame fat face.

Speaker 1 Good fat face. That guy,

Speaker 1 he's not fat, but his face is very fat. Yes, he's fat.
And his face is always round.

Speaker 2 And you know what? We were getting to the point where it would start to break out. It was time to start breaking out the word anemic when talking about the Bears' offense.

Speaker 2 I always love that because that's one of the only big words that talk radio show hosts know.

Speaker 2 It's like aberration and anemic are the two big words. Yep.
And the Bears' offense was looking anemic, and today they exploded.

Speaker 1 With one touchdown.

Speaker 2 With one touchdown. For 16 points.

Speaker 1 Is that what they ended up with? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so this is the new look Bears.

Speaker 1 We are fucking crushing it now.

Speaker 2 I think that every time a starting quarterback gets injured instead of the Fox NFL music, they should play the succession theme song as they're taken off the field.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like that treat.
No, but seriously, in all honesty, I think Chase Daniel is a fine backup.

Speaker 1 You are correct that, like, in terms of making mistakes, having games where Mitch would have those games where he would, like, it looked like he couldn't couldn't even see the field.

Speaker 1 I don't think Chase is going to do that. But if the Bears get in a shootout, they're fucked.
Whereas Mitch at least could maybe give you a chance if he was making plays with his feet.

Speaker 1 They're just going to have to rely on their defense. And good thing is, they have the fucking best defense of the league.
And we're missing Roquan Smith and Akeem Hicks today.

Speaker 1 And didn't even miss a beat. Killed Kirk Cousins.
Our guy, I don't even know if he's our guy, but Nick Kwikowski, who is West Virginia linebacker. Remember him?

Speaker 1 He played for Roquan Smith, and he was awesome. He just got a great name, Kwickkowski.
Yeah. And Kirk Cousins, I feel bad for you, bro.
I don't really know. I feel bad for you, bro.
I don't.

Speaker 2 Do you see his beard that he's growing? After the game? He's grown a beard and he was wearing like an old-timey outfit.

Speaker 2 Like he looked like a bartender that would serve you an overpriced cocktail that you would absolutely hate.

Speaker 1 Who do the Vikings have next week? Because I'm sure they have someone terrible

Speaker 1 that he's going to just fucking crush them.

Speaker 2 There's also trouble in paradise working right now between Thielen and Kirk Cousins. So after the game, Adam Thielen said, At some points, we have to start being able to throw the ball downfield.

Speaker 2 So, they're about to enter into the most passive-aggressive war ever. Those two, it's going to be like they're going to be leaving notes for each other.
Yep. Hey, man,

Speaker 2 I saw, I noticed that you read through my copy of Chicken Soup for the Coach's Son's Soul, but I was actually reading it and you didn't put the bookmark back in the right place.

Speaker 1 They play the Giants next week. Okay.
So, that's actually a game that Kirk Cousins will probably know in New York.

Speaker 2 That could be a get-right game.

Speaker 1 That could be a get-right game. It could be.
be.

Speaker 1 It's very funny, though. I mean, I think most Vikings...
I have a bunch of friends who are Vikings fans, and I was texting with them in the game. They hate Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 I don't know if any Vikings fan likes Kirk Cousins, but it's just days like today are a reminder of just how much because he can trick you, and then you've got to be reminded that, oof.

Speaker 2 Not on the field. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, he can. In random games, he'll have a game where everything will be going right.

Speaker 2 I'm going to list off the top of my head the teams that Kirk Cousins would beat the shit out of, okay? There's the Raiders, the Cardinals. The Dolphins.
They would beat the Dolphins.

Speaker 2 They would beat the Breaks off the Redskins. They would beat the Jets.

Speaker 1 The Bengals.

Speaker 2 They would beat the Bengals. And I think that's about it.

Speaker 1 So we just need to schedule those?

Speaker 2 Yeah. So those are teams that Kirk Cousins should be circling every year on the calendar.

Speaker 2 Did the thing where I look back to some of Matt Nagy's old quarterbacks to see who he's going to bring in as his backup. Jay Cutler.
Because right now, they've just got Tariq Cohen, right? Jay Color.

Speaker 2 Jay Cutler is on there. He's on the list.
You would obviously want Jay back.

Speaker 2 Really, there are no real options because his backups most recently were Pat Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 You should bring him.

Speaker 2 And Alex Smith. We should bring him in.
So you'd rather have Pat Mahomes as your quarterback than Mitch Trubisky? Yeah, I would. Interesting.
You didn't get me on that.

Speaker 1 Okay. No, I've said that.

Speaker 2 Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 I mean, would I be like,

Speaker 1 would I have any credibility?

Speaker 2 I want to double-check.

Speaker 1 People can stop tweeting me that now.

Speaker 2 So the list is.

Speaker 1 It's literally just a random tweet now.

Speaker 1 I think I tweeted something about the Saints game, and someone said, oh, no, I tweeted about Arch Manning, who's going to be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years.

Speaker 1 I said, Arch Manning is going to play in the NFL for 20 years, isn't he? First reply, yeah. And Mitch won't even play for five because he sucks dick.

Speaker 2 It's well said.

Speaker 1 I can't go on Twitter anymore.

Speaker 2 It's well said.

Speaker 2 Some team, hopefully this is what Washington's doing, and they're making dummies out of all of this, are going to be tanking for the next five to six years just so that they can get Arch Manning as a quarterback.

Speaker 2 Let the tanking process begin right now. But so I went back to Matt Nagy's quarterbacks and it's Slim Pickens.

Speaker 2 Basically, you have to choose between Vince Young and Chad Hinney. Those are his

Speaker 1 backups.

Speaker 2 Also, you could get RG3.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 we're going to have that weird situation here because the Bears have to go to London.

Speaker 1 So they have to get on a flight probably Monday or Tuesday, and they have to get a backup quarterback in almost right away. Yeah.
So that will be fun.

Speaker 2 Is there a quarterback already over in London that's just hanging out? Piers Morgan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he could do it.

Speaker 1 Harry Kane, just goal line set. He can only score from five yards out.
Have him be a fullback. That's a little soccer joke for everyone else.
I get it.

Speaker 1 It's coming home. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Football is coming home.

Speaker 1 So yeah, the Vikings, I feel like the Vikings are, I don't know what they do now.

Speaker 1 Because week one, they looked awesome. Then they almost should have beaten the Packers.
Look awesome week three. And then they got the shit kicked out of them this month.

Speaker 2 They do have the dun chain on them, so it weighs heavily around the Viking neck. Uh, just one point of order: this has been irritating me for a while.
I don't think that it should count as a sack

Speaker 2 if you strip somebody.

Speaker 2 If you strip a quarterback and you don't tackle them, and I know that forcing a fumble counts as a tackle technically, I just don't like the idea that a player gets credited for a sack when they cause a fumble and they don't tackle the quarterback.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 2 That might be just me on that.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll put that down.

Speaker 1 I've noted it. Okay, thank you.
Yeah, I have noted it.

Speaker 1 All right, last game we have: Jaguars, Broncos. Minshew Mania

Speaker 1 is so fucking real. That guy,

Speaker 1 that guy,

Speaker 1 it's Moxie.

Speaker 1 When he gets the ball in the fourth quarter and they need to go, you know, whatever, 60 yards

Speaker 1 for the field goal to win the game. I don't think anyone doubted that he was going to do it.

Speaker 2 No, he's going to do it. You want to know what he makes me feel like right now?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm going to close my eyes and think about Gardner Minshew. He makes me feel like lighting an anthill on fire by puking 151 on it and then flicking a Marlboro red.

Speaker 1 Oof, that's Gardner Minshew. That would be pretty sick.

Speaker 2 Leonard Fournette. He makes me feel like chugging rumpelmints out of a pinzoil carton.

Speaker 1 There you go. That's Gardner Minshew.
That's Gardner Minshew. Gardner Minshew.
His dad is going to go to every game and just be a beefcake everywhere.

Speaker 2 He makes me want to circumcise myself with a Gillette.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's enough.

Speaker 1 Leonard Fournette was awesome.

Speaker 1 And Broncos fans,

Speaker 1 I don't know what you do. That's a rebuild.

Speaker 1 Listen. That's a rebuild, dude.
That defense.

Speaker 2 John always struggled against the Jaguars at home, too.

Speaker 1 People forget about Mark Brunel. That's the first thing that's going to be.
Mark Brunel.

Speaker 2 Listen, Flacco has had two game-winning drives that his defense gave up.

Speaker 2 So I'm going to say

Speaker 2 problems on the other side.

Speaker 1 He wasn't bad, and the defense actually had a sack for the first time in the season.

Speaker 1 But what do you do if you're like, what are you going to... They might be the team that just loses very close games.

Speaker 1 I guess maybe you can convince yourself, like, hey, you know the old saying, like, first you lose big and then you lose small and then you start winning.

Speaker 2 That's what liars tell themselves. Right.
Because what actually happens is first you lose and then you get a good quarterback and then you win. Then you win.
It's a very simple equation. Yes.

Speaker 2 I was being facetious talking about Joe Flacco.

Speaker 1 He didn't play bad today.

Speaker 2 He didn't play bad today, but he's not good.

Speaker 1 But even that, even what we're saying right now tells you that it's just like, you got to restart everything.

Speaker 2 The fact that we're sitting here and they're 0-4 like but Joe Flago didn't play bad we're settling for him that's what we're doing we're settling he's a he's tall he's uh on paper he's great but you know what he doesn't make me feel alive when i look at him unlike when i look at gardener minshew and he throws that like double fake screen pass to the seam route yep and it feels like listening to it feels like what listening to free bird feels like ooh Okay.

Speaker 1 Being the drunk guy at a bar saying play Freebird and then having them actually play it.

Speaker 2 That's what it feels like. You feel like you're in charge of that.

Speaker 2 I want to make an announcement real quick. Dunchain.

Speaker 1 Broncos. Yes, I'm in on that.

Speaker 1 Big time Dunchain Broncos. Let's see.
Anyone else will get the Dunchain this week? Dunchain Broncos for sure.

Speaker 1 I mean, we haven't Dunchained the really shitty teams, but I feel like everyone knows who's Dunchained in that respect.

Speaker 2 My two Dunchains. This was a coincidence, but they're both teams that cut Kyle Sloeder.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just following that. That's a coincidence.
All right, yeah. I mean, we don't even have to count like the Cardinals, the Redskins.
Those are all already been Dunchains. Well,

Speaker 2 this season's not lost yet.

Speaker 1 Those are implied Dunchains, but Dunchain Broncos, I'm in on that.

Speaker 1 Before, let's do Who's Back of the Week.

Speaker 8 Before we do that, this season transforms your space into an entertainer's dream with Wayfair. Everything ships fast, right to your door.
Shop everything home today at Wayfair.com.

Speaker 8 That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

Speaker 1 All right. Who's back of the week? Hank.

Speaker 3 Who's back of the week is Kanye West teasing more music, but never actually coming out with it.

Speaker 1 Oh, what do we got? What do we got? What do we got to do?

Speaker 3 He was supposed to come out with an album. He said it was going to come out like early September and then pushed it off.
Then this week he said it was definitely coming out Friday.

Speaker 3 Friday, said it's going to come out at noon, said it was going to come out at 8. Then at 8, said it was going to come out on Sunday.

Speaker 1 What time zone?

Speaker 3 Well, there, it didn't really matter because he said it was going to come out Sunday. It has not come out still.

Speaker 1 Do you think he has like a Hank in his life that he can blame? No. If that happened to us, we'd just be like, that's Hank.

Speaker 3 But I think it's him being like, it'd be like me being like, all right, guys, it's done. And then you being like, whoa, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 Scratch that, start everything over.

Speaker 1 Or like, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 2 Well, he's doing Sunday service. You can't expect him to work on Sunday.

Speaker 1 What about, do you think it's one of those situations where he keeps saying it and then he just hasn't like, he hasn't done anything? He's just waiting for it.

Speaker 1 He's waiting to, like, the mood to strike him and make the music. Potentially.

Speaker 2 I don't hate that, though. It's like that's what the guy from the

Speaker 2 dragon show, Game of Thrones, is doing, right? With his new book.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's coming out soon. R.L.
Tolkien. George R.R.
Martin. George R.R.
Tolkien.

Speaker 2 They're probably hanging out in New Zealand together just doing massive amounts of blow and not fulfilling their obligations. Right.
Which sounds pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Okay, so are we getting the new music?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I mean, like...

Speaker 1 Today, maybe? Hopefully. It's kind of fucked up, though.

Speaker 3 Kim Kardashian, like the most

Speaker 1 eyeballs on on her than any other. Most fire booty out there.
And she is like spreading this propaganda, fake news.

Speaker 3 It's just like, all right.

Speaker 2 She's answering for him.

Speaker 1 She's saying, yeah.

Speaker 3 She's the one that's like, guys, like, hey, guys, like, I know he said Friday, but it's going to come out at 8. And then there's like, hey, guys, he's just finishing some things up.

Speaker 3 It's going to come out on Sunday.

Speaker 2 What's so funny about that whole family and that relationship is we would all forget tomorrow about Kanye's new music.

Speaker 2 All Kim Kardashian has to do is take a picture of her butt and just post it on the internet.

Speaker 2 And just be like, hey, look at my butt. And everyone forgets about music.

Speaker 1 Look at this butt on the internet. You can't find porn anywhere on the internet, but check out this butt.

Speaker 1 That's so stupid. I almost

Speaker 1 broke the internet. Having a fuck breaking the internet.
It was fucking, it was a butt.

Speaker 2 She has a butt that would launch a thousand ships.

Speaker 1 It's a butt with champagne on it.

Speaker 2 It's a good butt.

Speaker 1 Great. Yeah, you know what's a better butt?

Speaker 1 One that's in porn.

Speaker 2 Kyle Long's butt. His butt looked great in the locker room when he was changing.
Yeah, his butt did. People didn't talk enough about the fact that his butt loots.
His butt looked great.

Speaker 2 My Who's Back of the Week is Markel Fultz footage. So there have been some grainy photos and videos emerging of him down in Orlando where he remembered how he could shoot again.
Nice. Looks great.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it looks really good.

Speaker 2 And I love this never-ending saga behind a shot because I think we've had, he's had a shot fixed, what, six times now? Five times? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Something like that. All broken since we had him on the show.

Speaker 2 Yes, people forget. Maybe.
Do you remember the old Redskins cheerleader that got a flu shot and then she couldn't walk anymore?

Speaker 2 But she was faking it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she did the thing where

Speaker 1 she was like running back. That was the funniest video ever.
She was running. She could only run backwards

Speaker 2 because she got a flu shot.

Speaker 2 And now she's totally cured because she was faking it the whole time. That video was.
Maybe Markel. I'm going with that theory is that Markel Fultz got a flu shot.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that's why I forgot how to shoot. Don't vaccinate.
Nope. Don't vaccinate or spay or neuter.
Yeah. Okay.
Is that anything? Don't use paper straws either. Anything else?

Speaker 2 No, just Markel Fultz practice footage.

Speaker 1 Okay. My who's back is conflict.

Speaker 2 Oh, and the Nats. And Natitude is back.

Speaker 1 Natitude is back.

Speaker 2 Natitude is back. They're playing Saturday night, and they.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for you. I hate the Brewers.
So I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 1 Okay, my who's back of the week is conflict. Two conflicts.
One as a conflicted sports fan. Joe Madden was fired.
Not re-signed. So it's a little nicer than fired.

Speaker 1 And you get stuck in that spot where, as a sports fan, you're like, that guy's a legend. He's the greatest Cubs manager of all time.
But it also was time to go.

Speaker 2 when he goes into the hall of fame is he going in as a cub yes i don't know if he goes into the hall of fame

Speaker 1 but you know what i mean when you when you when you let a guy go and you're like he was literally the best manager that you that i've ever watched manage the cubs but he also couldn't manage the cubs anymore he was he had to let it end he was the perfect person for that one series of events that took place but i also

Speaker 1 it's so lame i i maybe i'm just become so pessimistic on like online culture but like the thank you, Joe shit. Come on.

Speaker 2 He's not reading it. Are you going to burn his jersey?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not going to burn it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do the thank you note.

Speaker 2 I love how baseball managers have jerseys that you can burn, too.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. It's awesome.
I'm going to do the thank you note. And

Speaker 2 that was first reported by who?

Speaker 1 Leroy the dog. Yes.
Through an anonymous source.

Speaker 2 Yes, exactly. You also reported.
I feel like I should clear this up because you've been getting questions about it. Yes.
About Mitchell's health.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're reporting. Leroy's reporting injury news.
I did. This is dangerous.

Speaker 2 It's Pro Football Dog, like Pro Football Doc, and he, just from the eyeball test.

Speaker 1 Never talk about another man's health. I'm not, well,

Speaker 2 I'm making a diagnosis that I hope isn't true. I'd be happy to be wrong.

Speaker 1 If you do injury news,

Speaker 1 you now have to do the injury news when someone gets carted off. No, because

Speaker 1 that guy will walk.

Speaker 2 This is one injury that

Speaker 2 I have a specialty in.

Speaker 2 So if somebody breaks their foot walking, or if they have a dislocated shoulder, or in Leroy's case, if you develop glaucoma in both eyes during a game, we can report on this using past experiences.

Speaker 2 He dislocated his shoulder, and then he was in a sling

Speaker 2 on the sidelines. And then every time that happens, you're going to be out for three to five weeks, probably.

Speaker 1 So it's you, not Leroy.

Speaker 2 No, me and Leroy, we had a conference sidebar.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 1 One brain, one heartbeat. But

Speaker 1 no actual reporting.

Speaker 2 Just brain. This is from brains.
This is from your brain. We're just giving Leroy brains.
Got it.

Speaker 1 Got it. All right, my other conflict, civil conflict, the end of civil conflict.
UConn and UCF played their last civil conflict game.

Speaker 1 And if I'm reading off Twitter correctly, UConn had 21 unanswered for the Huskies to close out the night. Wow.

Speaker 2 So they probably smoked them. Final score is 56-21.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Shout out UConn for that tweet. That was such a great tweet.
Way to go. Have a good sense of humor.
21 unanswered. Close out the night.
The game just ended too soon.

Speaker 2 Is this the last that we'll see of this conflict?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because UConn's leaving the AAC or whatever the fuck they are in. And it's sad because it's the greatest trophy that ever were.

Speaker 1 Bob Diaco just deciding that UCF was their rival, making a trophy game, calling it the civil conflict, where you had the capitalization of the FL and the CT, Florida versus Connecticut, and then Scott Frost

Speaker 1 just leaving the trophy on the sideline because he's like,

Speaker 1 I don't acknowledge this. This is stupid.

Speaker 2 I think we need to find the trophy.

Speaker 2 It's lost. That trophy needs to exist in the part of my take studio.

Speaker 1 If someone delivers us the actual civil conflict trophy you will

Speaker 1 get hank no summer internship no questions asked okay but it has to be the real one i don't know how we would verify it has to be the real one

Speaker 2 carbon data you will get the summer internship no questions asked on the spot unless you've murdered someone Yeah, we're going to do a deep dive into your social media.

Speaker 1 We will have to do a little background check. If you've done anything really, really bad, then there will be questions asked.

Speaker 1 But otherwise, no questions asked.

Speaker 2 But if you're Don King and you bring it to us, you can be our intern even though you've murdered somebody.

Speaker 1 Correct. Okay.
Fact.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Because you served your time. If you've murdered somebody and not paid your debt to society yet,

Speaker 2 then you will not be a summer intern for us. Right.

Speaker 1 Fact. So bring us that trophy.

Speaker 1 Okay, before we get to the football guy of the week, PFT, you got something for us?

Speaker 2 I do. I want to talk to you guys about Peloton Tread.
I've been on my Peloton bike, but Peloton isn't just exercise bikes and it's fall. Fall is all about getting into a groove after a busy summer.

Speaker 2 It's Christian Girl Autumn, so you're going to want to look nice and spevelt when you sip your pumpkin spice lattes and you put on your thigh-high boots.

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It's not just another treadmill.

Speaker 2 The New York Times says the Peloton Tread is like having a personal trainer come to your house whenever you'd like.

Speaker 2 Runner's World says it's a gorgeous hip New York City gym in the comfort of your own home, and it's a go-to training tool.

Speaker 2 I was actually going back and forth with Booger, with old Boog McFarland on Twitter's World earlier today.

Speaker 2 Booger's got a Peloton bike. Me and him are going to start a biker gang and we're going to compete against each other.
It's going to be great. I'm going to get leather jackets and shit made up for it.

Speaker 2 It's going to be wonderful. But if you don't have the Peloton bike and you're in the market for a sweet new workout apparatus, check out the Peloton Tread.

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Speaker 1 Oh shit, we got to respect the biz real quick. From Dan Hanses.
Who's that? Who is that? He follows me. NFL.com.
He said, Come on, football, Twitter.

Speaker 1 No succession spoilers, bits during Sunday night football. Respect your working comrades.
Thank you. I agree with that.

Speaker 2 I'm also two weeks behind on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't do that.

Speaker 2 Keep that in mind. Don't do it.

Speaker 1 Don't, don't.

Speaker 1 Don't do it. Because the big is awesome.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Actually, cut all that out, Hank, because people are going to spoil us for that. Yes.

Speaker 2 Good call.

Speaker 1 Please. Will do.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Please.
I mean,

Speaker 1 I've already watched it.

Speaker 1 I would hate it if people did. This is going to be a terrible situation.
This is an impossible situation. It's been disgustingly unsuccessful.
We're working comrades. I agree.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go home and watch it. Not spoil things for

Speaker 1 you guys would never know. New show.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go home and watch all of it. Yeah.
It's funny.

Speaker 1 It's a 20-year-old show. We wouldn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got you guys. Don't worry.
Football guy of the week. We got a great Football Guy guy of the week set up.
Will Mushchamp, number one.

Speaker 1 Will Muschamp, that sweaty dog, he won a football game, and he said afterwards, it's been a shitty fall. I got more gray hair than I've ever had.
My wife doesn't like hanging around losers.

Speaker 1 I've been losing, so it ain't been good.

Speaker 1 I love this.

Speaker 2 I love football guys. They just love their wives.

Speaker 1 They love to bring in their wives.

Speaker 2 They love their wives so much. The football guy, because they have two parts of their life.
They have being around football guys, and then they have being at home with their wife.

Speaker 2 And there's no in-between for them. They just go back and forth, back and forth.

Speaker 1 And it's always like they always refer to it as football in both

Speaker 1 spaces. So it's, I'm the head coach here, my wife's the head coach at home.

Speaker 2 She calls all the shots out there.

Speaker 1 She doesn't like losers. So we haven't been having sex.

Speaker 2 I don't think Will Must Champ has sex, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 1 It's so

Speaker 2 Will Must Champ, that's a waste of time for him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Then Then we have next up, Ravens defensive coordinator Don Martindale, who said he lost four pounds during the week after watching Chiefs tape three times, and he threw up all three times.

Speaker 1 Well, Don,

Speaker 1 he got the Browns tape coming up.

Speaker 2 He might be pregnant too, like Jalen Ramsey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's also going to

Speaker 1 keep losing weight with the tape that he has to watch every single week.

Speaker 2 If you puke three times, that seems like it wouldn't be four pounds. Four pounds seems like a lot of puke puke for thrice.

Speaker 1 Well, he did it right after eating like a full movie.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is probably three separate days that he watched it.

Speaker 1 Correct. Okay.
And he kept on watching it and puking. Gotcha.
I got the stomach flu. It's called Patrick Mahomes.
All right.

Speaker 1 Andy Reid, the aforementioned Andy Reid, saying not all of Mozart's paintings were perfect.

Speaker 1 Which is probably true. Yeah.
He definitely thinks that way, too. Like, he did.

Speaker 1 If someone was like, hey, man, you know it's not Mozart.

Speaker 2 He's like, what?

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? Mozart, that guy? did the, and then Michelangelo did those symphonies.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, here's the thing:

Speaker 2 with Mozart, it's almost not fair because art is right there in his name. True.
So you can't blame Andy Reid for thinking.

Speaker 2 Andy, he wrote Claire DeLaloon, which you should know because that's what Randy Moss did in Lambeau Field when he pulled down his pants. Disgusting.
Disgusting act. Disgusting act.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then last up, we have Iowa fullback Brady Ross.
After his first career TD, he said, to get in the end zone is cool. Frankly, I'm more proud of some of the blocks I made.

Speaker 1 Football guy. Big time.

Speaker 1 That's a great list.

Speaker 2 A great list. Brady Ross.
That is the ultimate Iowa fullbacks.

Speaker 1 Speaking of that, we should quickly just touch on some college football. There wasn't that many

Speaker 1 big-time games, but we had the big-time

Speaker 1 Maryland and Nebraska. Do they belong in the Big Ten weekend? Maryland canceled class on Friday, wore black, and then didn't score a point.

Speaker 1 They got bageled, which I love saying, by the way, to get bageled.

Speaker 2 I think Nebraska should have worn black. That should have been the move at home.

Speaker 1 The black shirts. So, Nebraska, on the other hand, they had game day.

Speaker 1 Everyone thinks Nebraska's back. They were ranked in the top 25.
And Nebraska fans are going to get mad because I'm picking on them. I want Nebraska to be good.
It's fun. We've said this before.

Speaker 1 It's fun when Nebraska's good. They've got absolutely shellacked by Ohio State.

Speaker 2 And then the other big story was Clemson is still undefeated, so they should be number one in the polls.

Speaker 1 Clemson is going to go all the way to the national championship or the college football playoff without having to play one impressive game because the ACC stinks.

Speaker 2 Counterpoint, to be the man, you got to beat the man.

Speaker 1 And you know what's going to happen?

Speaker 2 They're going to win every game by a single score, and they're still going to be ranked number one.

Speaker 1 And then Pittsburgh is going to make the ACC finals against them and lose by like 100.

Speaker 2 You don't think it's UVA?

Speaker 1 It's always like some team. It could be anyone, but it's going to be a team that they'll just kill.

Speaker 2 They'll just kill. It doesn't really matter who they play.

Speaker 1 No, it does not at all.

Speaker 2 It does not. Although, Bronco is a sweet ass.
How long does Bronco stick around in Charlottesville? Because Charlottesville is not a Bronco town.

Speaker 1 Here's my problem with UVA. I watched the game Notre Dame UVA.
You know how, which I love because we were talking about score bugs earlier, when the score bug will flash with your team color,

Speaker 2 candy ass.

Speaker 1 UVA can't win a big game. Okay.
Candy ass. That orange, that, it's candy ass.

Speaker 2 Well, what about the like?

Speaker 2 It's the neon green for Notre Dame.

Speaker 1 It's candy ass. No, no, no.
Notre Dame doesn't do neon green. NBC doesn't do that for them.
I've seen it green. But they don't do neon neon green.
It's Kelly Green.

Speaker 2 It's borderline neon.

Speaker 1 The orange that UVA puts out there is candy ass. They will never win a big game.

Speaker 2 I have said it, and so it hath been said.

Speaker 1 Okay. There it is.

Speaker 2 Would you recommend they turn it up to like a neon orange, like a hunting vest orange?

Speaker 1 Maybe. I don't know what they got to do, but I just kept on seeing it.
I was like, this team's never going to win. Okay.
I just felt it. And sometimes you feel it.

Speaker 2 UVA is one of those teams that has felt like they're overdue for a logo redesign. You never got around to it.
Yes. They're still rocking like the 1999s.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Why don't you boost that up? Give your Cavalier a little swag.

Speaker 2 Chris, you got a lot of time on your hands. Why don't you pay for like a new graphic design or double?

Speaker 1 Bong on hand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do a couple segments in a Monday reading.
First up, we have a Just Chill Out Man for Patrick Chung. So, what was this, PFT?

Speaker 2 So, last week, he put a post up on Instagram about his son coming in on him while he was in the bathroom. Well, no, I should let him speak for himself.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Patrick Chung said, I took a smelly crap this morning. Then I made my son come in there and tell him I love him before he went to school.
He tried to hold his breath, but I made him say it back.

Speaker 2 Moral of the story, son, don't snore in my damn face all night. Love you.
Got him.

Speaker 1 Got him. Got him.

Speaker 2 That's a classic guy trick.

Speaker 1 That's some old school dad stuff.

Speaker 2 Boy, come smell my crap.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's some good stuff.

Speaker 2 I love that. That'll teach you to sleep in my bed with me and love me and come to me when you have a nightmare.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'll be a very well-adjusted adult.

Speaker 2 But if that's what Patrick Chung's leaving in the bathroom nowadays, that's an improvement.

Speaker 1 That's a TMI.

Speaker 2 If that's what he's leaving behind. Yeah, true.
Instead of something... Well, now it's long and brown instead of short and white.

Speaker 1 Well, I would actually argue that Patrick Chung never has done a short

Speaker 1 line of cocaine. Whale tales.

Speaker 2 It might what they call it. It might be thick.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, and they're big. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a little bump and run coverage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big time. Gotcha.
All right. And all you think, I can't even remember what this is for.
Oh, halftime show.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 guest for the alleged surprise guest. Mystery guest.
Mystery guest for the halftime show at the Super Bowl in Miami,

Speaker 1 Pitbull.

Speaker 2 I don't know how this got leaked.

Speaker 2 This seems like a major, major security issue.

Speaker 1 Pitbull's people leaked it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was the most obvious surprise. Oh, you think?

Speaker 1 Oh, you'll think?

Speaker 2 I'm glad, because Pitbull was going to be heartbroken if he was not included in the city's biggest Dali festival of all time, and he wasn't there to be the Dalai leader.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be opposed to them instead of a halftime show just doing the intro to ballers and like having Rock walk around.

Speaker 2 That's not bad either. He might be part of it.
That'd be cool.

Speaker 2 I've always liked to think about what Pitbull used to do for his concerts when he was coming coming up, like when Pitbull first got started and decided he was going to be a musician, a singer.

Speaker 2 Like his first small concerts in like a dive bar with two people in it. Does he get on stage and wear a tuxedo and blast music and just jump around and get the people going?

Speaker 2 Like the two regulars at the bar? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Garage Band Pitbull is a very interesting story that I would like to see told at some point.

Speaker 1 I just realized something. The Super Bowl in Miami, Michael Irvin's not going to still have his job at NFL Network after that.

Speaker 2 Well, he's he's not going to sleep that week.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine the parties he's going to throw? Him and Warren Sapphire. Yeah, all the old Miami guys.
Yeah. They're personally going to think the Super Bowl's for them.

Speaker 1 They're going to be like, oh, this is just a birthday party for me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. No, you're right.
I think they need to room. That's a reality show that needs to happen: Warren Sapp and Michael Irvin during Super Bowl weekends.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. Hopefully, we get a Jeremy Shockey sighting.
There's a little cameo. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Thank God Killen Winslow's incarcerated.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's yes. You can say that again.
All right, let's finish up with a Monday reading. We have Triple H coming on Wednesday.
Huge interview. Huge interview.

Speaker 1 We got back-to-back huge Wednesdays coming because we also taped with Gary Busey today. And holy shit, is that guy awesome? It was cool.
Awesome. All right.
Monday reading.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend categorizes everything as virgin versus Chad. And it's annoying.

Speaker 2 Okay, so can I get a little help on this one? Yeah,

Speaker 2 I like to think that I'm pretty steeped in the meme culture. This one is a little new to me.
Bubba, do you know this one?

Speaker 1 All right, so it's Virgin versus Chad. These guys both like, get the fuck out of here.
All right, so Virgin versus Chad, look it up real quick.

Speaker 2 I'll start. Okay, I'm on it.

Speaker 1 We've been together three months. Early on, and I know it's all kind of early because three months, he told me he loved Virgin versus Chad memes.
Fine, I think.

Speaker 1 They're kind of funny, and he's definitely not.

Speaker 1 He's definitely not an a misogynist. He's dated women before me, too, so not an incel.
Okay. All right, check and check.

Speaker 2 So you can't be a misogynist if you have sex with women.

Speaker 1 Yes. Or an incel.
So that's the check and check.

Speaker 2 All right. So basically, a virgin versus Chad is you versus the guy that she told you not to worry about.
Right.

Speaker 2 But the virgin has glasses and he looks down, avoids eye contact, struggles to find comfortable hand form, bad posture. So he's a virgin.
Back slouch. And then Chad is, he's got like a mohawk.

Speaker 2 He's an alpha. And he's an alpha as shit.
He wears a cool singlet. Okay.

Speaker 1 So lately it seems like he might take this meme more seriously than I thought. He's always joked about it.
Like when I told him I liked White Claw, he said, Virgin White Claw versus Chad Mad Dog.

Speaker 1 And it was pretty funny. That plays.
That is pretty funny.

Speaker 1 But lately, I've seen him asking me, was that a virgin or a Chad thing to do?

Speaker 1 Okay. For example, he's trying to find a good place to take his new co-worker, Male, to lunch.
They were assigned as buddies.

Speaker 2 By the way, that's a virgin move, right?

Speaker 1 And he asked me if Dim Sum was a virgin or a Chad move.

Speaker 2 I'd say lunch is a virgin move.

Speaker 1 Yeah, lunch is, you got to go unless it's outback.

Speaker 2 That's a Chad move. Busters for lunch is a Chad move.

Speaker 1 Chad, total Chad. Sometimes when getting dressed, he'll ask me if his outfit he chose was a virgin or a Chad outfit.
I love this guy. This guy literally only thinks and memes.

Speaker 2 No, it's great. He's like devolved existence into a binary system, which makes things a whole lot cooler and a lot simpler.
A lot of it is just an awesome. By the way,

Speaker 2 just making everything a virgin versus Chad, Chad, that's a Chad move.

Speaker 1 That's a Chad move.

Speaker 1 He believes sneakers are for virgins, so he'll only wear dress shoes or flip-flops.

Speaker 1 It was funny as a joke, but it's starting to get annoying. I told him that the virgin versus Chad meme is meant to be funny, and it shouldn't actually dictate his life.

Speaker 1 And he called me a virgin normie.

Speaker 1 Contrasted with a Chad meme devotee. This is so good.
Okay. No,

Speaker 1 You're such a virg.

Speaker 2 It's pretty cool. Like, when you can call your girlfriend a virgin,

Speaker 1 that's alpha. That's such an own.

Speaker 1 Not the way you think it is, but.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a cell phone. Is Chad the same as an alpha?

Speaker 1 Yes. I think so.

Speaker 1 I told him I don't want to have sex with someone who's this obsessed with a meme, and he told me.

Speaker 1 Sex is for virgins.

Speaker 2 That's pretty funny.

Speaker 1 This Chad is awesome.

Speaker 2 It's pretty funny.

Speaker 1 This guy and Buster Guy would be like best friends.

Speaker 2 I think she's upset because she just doesn't operate on the cool wavelength.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she just doesn't get humor.

Speaker 3 She also definitely, but she probably then is now saying it like in her real life with her friends. She's saying it like incidentally because he's saying it.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 but I didn't.

Speaker 3 She's mad at him, but then in her life, it's probably like... When her friends ask her something, like, oh, no, it's the Chad move.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But imagine.
But her being like, I don't want to have sex with you if you keep thinking this way. And he's like, good.
Sex is for virgins.

Speaker 2 Imagine going to a couples counselor and trying to describe this issue that you're having.

Speaker 1 Chads, just jerk off into the toilet.

Speaker 2 No, dude, Chads are no fat.

Speaker 1 Chads don't jerk off into the field. You got to get that testosterone.

Speaker 2 Just resorb all the sperm that are inside them and gain their power.

Speaker 1 Great point. Great point, PFT.
At this rate, it seems like we just aren't compatible. But when he's not going crazy over this meme, we actually have fun together.

Speaker 1 That's when he's being a virgin, by the way.

Speaker 1 He's not memeing.

Speaker 2 When he's not talking about Chad's.

Speaker 1 Is there any hope for him to figure this out in therapy? Admittedly, it might be hard to get him to go because he thinks thinks people who go to therapists are virgins and therapists are Chad.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend has grouped literally everything into virgin versus Chad. It's Maddie.
That is a catch-22 because you want to get him help, but that's a total verge move by you to talk about feelings.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 What you have to do, you have to speak to somebody that talks his language. So the Chad equivalent of talking to a therapist would be calling.

Speaker 1 Listening to our podcast.

Speaker 2 Or calling into a morning talk show on the radio.

Speaker 2 Call into whatever city that you're in. Call into their morning talk show.

Speaker 1 The guy hour.

Speaker 2 yeah yeah this is the man cave we're here to talk about nuts yeah in between football all right let's talk about your nuts yeah sounds like you're not

Speaker 1 you're on you're on line one you chat on line one nuts aren't getting drained because you're a virgin yeah damn chatter verge wearing hey chad quick question you wearing flip-flops right now cool um yeah you're you're screwed i would just lean into it and uh actually no you know what you need to do the only the only solution here is you need to introduce him into more more memes Like, you need to get him on a new hotel.

Speaker 1 Deeper into meme culture.

Speaker 2 You know what? If you get really invested in the Chad versus Virgin meme, too, he'll think that the Chad Virgin meme is Virgin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he'll think Chad becomes a Verge.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, no, he'll think that that meme is a Verge. So he'll have to move on to Greener Pastures at that point.
So you can get him off that pretty easily.

Speaker 2 I think that we should just talk about quarterbacks compared to their backups: Chad versus Virgin.

Speaker 1 Chad versus Verge.

Speaker 2 Jacksonville. Oh, Carter Minshaw.
Chad. Chad.

Speaker 1 Chad.

Speaker 2 Make Foles of of Verge, Verge.

Speaker 2 Chicago.

Speaker 1 Mitch Trubisky. Nope.
Verge. Nope.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Wayne Haskins, Verge. Chase Daniel.
Chase Keenan, Verge. Also, Verge.

Speaker 2 Colt McCoy.

Speaker 1 Verge.

Speaker 2 Alex Smith. Verge.

Speaker 1 Jay Gruden, Chad.

Speaker 2 Chad, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Too dumb to be a Verge.

Speaker 2 He's definitely, definitely a Chad.

Speaker 1 All right. That's our show.
Triple H Wednesday. Get excited.

Speaker 2 Love you guys. That was such a Chad move by you.

Speaker 1 I know. No, Verge.
Chad Verge. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Speaker 2 fuck. Chad, PFT, Chad,

Speaker 2 Big Cat Verge. Damn.

Speaker 1 Having a baby.

Speaker 2 Having a baby is the biggest Verge move of all time.

Speaker 1 There was one shout out to one guy who, like, four or five years ago on College Game Day, just came with a sign that said, Big Cat is a Verge. And it was just very fucking funny.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, is that true? And I was like, dude, I got owned. Yeah.
And that was it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, take your lumps. Win the meme game sometimes.
All right, love you guys. Love you guys.
Oh, I already said it. You can repeat whatever I said.
That's fine. That's a Verge move.

Speaker 2 Talking away,

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm to say. I'll straight anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is another

Speaker 1 day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I'm all sentences for me. Stumrun away,

Speaker 1 learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Things that you say

Speaker 1 in life are just the flame of memories away.

Speaker 1 You're all things I've got to remember. Be the shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Be the shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Come

Speaker 1 I'll be eager.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.