Lorenzo Neal + Mike Alstott, NFL Weekend Preview And Fyre Fests Of The Week

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On today's part in my take, Fullback Friday, Lorenzo Neal, Mike Allstott in studio. Let's go.
Awesome interview. I've never seen PFT happier.
It was essentially like he was on drugs, but he's not a drug guy. No, it was natural drugs.
But it would have been – if I have ever seen you on drugs, that's what you would have looked like. I was wearing a tux.
I was waiting for him. They were like 10 minutes late getting in the studio.
I was pacing around. I was nervous.
I'll say it on the other side, but I had a thought that I was like going to – I would never have been more heartbroken for you, but I on the other side uh we have uh nfl weekend being punked i thought you were being punked for a second i was like dude if this happens i don't know how we're ever no no i knew i wasn't i really did i was like like this is gonna be the worst feeling of all time for pft we might have to elaborate punking of all time like we would have had to carry you around in like i think I think I just would have died. My body just would have known it was time.
Yeah, I had the thought for a second. All right.
We have NFL weekend preview. We have some picks for you.
I have a no-lose parlay for you. Fire Fest Fantasy Fuck Boys Packed Friday show.
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Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And I'm not allowed to stop work to be done No place to hang out or wash in. And then I can't blame all of the sun.
Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
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See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Today is Fri-yay, September 27th, and the Green Bay Packers are dead.
That's okay. Good intro.
That's fine. I feel good about it.
My Packers are okay. As Skip Bayless said, Aaron Rodgers gets too cool in the red zone.
PFT, I got some stats for you. My first stat is Aaron Rodgers gets too cool in the red zone.
Okay, here's a stat for you.

The Packers in 2019, first quarter points, 28.

Second quarter points, 33.

Third quarter points, 14.

Fourth quarter points, 6.

I saw that.

Listen.

Seems like people can make some adjustments on Matt LaFleur and Aaron Rodgers.

Wiz kid offense. Listen, if you got a heater of a passing attack inside the five-yard line, you have to go back to that well at the end of the game.
Four fucking pass plays. No, no, no, no, no.
Six pass plays under the five. I'm talking about the goal line stand where it was four in a row.
But they went over two. They went out there there with 11 personnel.
Yep. And, well, no, no.
It was 22 personnel, I think, at first. They tried to get the ball to Danny Vitale, who had a great game.
By the way. But we have a fullback in there that's itching.
He looked like a bull that was ready to charge, scraping his foot, his little cleats against the ground. On fullback Friday, no less.
On fullback Friday, no less. It was disrespectful to the position.
John Kuhn is rolling over in his grave. Six plays inside the five, six passes, zero points, one interception.
And a terrible helmet for Aaron Rodgers. He needs to do something about that helmet because he looks like a combination of Michael Dukakis in the tank and John Olerud out there.
His helmet gets bigger every single game. They add an extra layer of paint to it.
It just grows and grows. He looks like a Martian.
That play. We're watching a replay right now.
Now, I won't be mean to Packers fans for the entire show. I'll say this.
Devontae Adams obviously going out hurt. Yes.
It's week four. This is a classic case, though, and be wary when you make your picks this week, the team that desperately needs a win, the team that's looking like they're going to go one in three and they were a playoff hopeful team that desperation the Eagles go into Lambeau Doug Peterson I love Doug Peterson I think he's one of the best coaches in the NFL he's so aggressive even going for two when they were up seven and he's like our defense can't really stop him right now so let's try to get it to nine instead of eight instead of eight with an extra point it was early and people I saw some people complaining about it but that's Doug Peterson you live by it you die by it I'd rather live with a coach who's aggressive and tries to steal the moment than a guy who goes wishy-washy Freddie Kitchens or Matt what do we call it the Freddie Kitchens or the Matt LaFleur when you just passed from inside the five-yard line? I think you call it the Pete Carroll.
Okay, it's the Freddie LaFleur. It's the Freddie LaFleur.
Really overthought it. Really overthought it.
So what happens to coaches who are going up against Doug Peterson is they know that Doug's got balls and that he does these type of, you know, he goes for two a lot, goes for a fourth down, and the opposing coaches don't want to look dumb in front of Doug. And so they try to, like, they punch out of their weight class sometimes, and they get themselves into a zone where they're overthinking, where they're passing the ball too much.
They're doing stuff that they wouldn't normally do because the guy across the field from you has his nuts in a wheelbarrow, and you are trying to get a bigger wheelbarrow, and you've just got a little teabag hanging down between your legs. It doesn't really work that way.
And so, yeah, good job, Doug Peterson. Matt LaFleur is still fine.
His defense looked bad against the run. I'm thinking we're going to get a real snarky Aaron Rodgers press conference.
I will admit that. No, they're fine.
We've got to finish before so I can watch the whole thing. They're doing just fine.
Don't worry about that. I will say, though, that you're right.
The NFC North looks really good. Yes.
It's the best. It's the group of death this year.
Detroit Lions are first place right now. The undefeated Detroit Lions.
And also, the Bears actually kind of won that game for the Eagles because they had Jordan Howard and Alshon Jeffrey. Probably the best the Bears have played at Lambeau in a while.
Yeah. I'm going to enjoy it.
I'm going to enjoy it. They came in there.
They played well. The Eagles are back.
They have life back to them. It wouldn't have been done, but 1-3 and 2-2, it feels so different.
Yeah. It really does.
Even though it's only one game, it feels so different if you're like, we're 1-3 versus 2-2. This is the exact time of the year where we start really getting those takes cooking it's like week two week three week four is when you you break out all the stats of teams that start one and three make the playoffs 12 percent of the time right teams that start the season three and one make it 70 percent of the time and teams that start at two zero and one i guarantee you will not make the playoffs this year yes take that to the bank.
Poor Detroit. Well, you know, they have a big game against the Chiefs.
I famously said, if you sleep on the Lions, you'll never wake up. Yeah, there you go.
You did famously say that. Also, how about the refs? The refs sending a little message, I think.
The refs are sending the message of, don't challenge our authority ever on anything because we're not going to overturn the calls because we got it right the first time. Right.
And the Thursday night football haters go suck on an egg. I never really understood that.
No, I don't either, but I like it. Just go suck on an egg because that was a great game.
Go jump in a lake. Two bad injuries.
We got to maybe put the injury music under this. Two bad injuries.
So that sucks when the stretcher's out there twice. It did suck, yeah.
And the second one looked pretty bad. I don't know if it's an abundance of caution or whatever it was, but it took like 10, 12 minutes to get him stabilized.
That's not a good sign. Okay, and then the Packers lost.
That's true. End it right there.
So you know what I'm saying That did You see me That did happen

Yeah you got it

Alright okay so

What else we got

We have

We have

Oh

Barstoolgold.com

Slash PMT

To see

Mike Allstott

And Lorenzo Neal

In the studio

And also we bench pressed

With them after

We did a little competition

And Lorenzo Neal

Benched

Just seven

You'll have to watch

Okay yeah I won't say it

Yeah yeah

You'll have to watch

Seven times

He benched seven times

We benched more than Lorenzo Neal

And so

Proven otherwise

I don't say it. Yeah, yeah.
You'll have to watch. Yeah, seven times.
That was a great thing. He benched seven times.
We benched more than Lorenzo Neal, and so proven otherwise. I did think you were going to get catfished for a minute, and I was so, so nervous because you, PFT, dressed up in his tux.
Yep. He was like floating around the office.
He was legitimately, you weren't in here for this, Big Cat? The room was set up a little differently. If you see on Barso Gold, you'll see that.
He walked in and was is this right are you sure we should be doing this and then have everything right and then he's like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm just where's he sitting where's it where's the flower arrangements i was like wait it looks like we're competing against each other it's bridezilla i was yeah oh totally totally and like hank was my wedding planner just calling it's just pumping me full of xanax but i was uh they were following me around with a video camera because i was so excited and uh i was just pacing back and forth i was like they're late they're late something's happening because i knew i was that thought never crossed my mind because i'd been in touch with so many people around them right that i knew that they were coming but yes if i was getting catfish that would have been pretty fucking funny yeah i also want to get ahead of something i've've realized I have a problem. I have an issue.
It's a physical thing. I need to train better.
I need to get better at it. I don't know how.
I suck at clapping. Oh, yeah.
You look like a... You look like you're in fast mode whenever you're speeding it up.
I got floppy hands. I don't know what it is, but I saw it last week when we were gambling on something.
It was on Sunday in the gambling cave. Yeah.
And then I saw it when I was, I was spotting Mike Allstott and then I brought the bar back and then I clapped for Mike Allstott. You look like a little kid.
But it was like the worst way that you could possibly clap for Mike Allstott doing a bench press. You look like a little kid who just learned how to clap.
Yes. I'm thinking, And you're showing everyone, like, I learned this.
I need to. Admini gets the first step, though.
Yeah. I recognize that.
I think I'm going to do the Les Miles. Just this one.
I think it's cute. I think you should be yourself when it comes to clapping.
Yeah, yeah. You just get very excited.
I do. It's like a dog wagging its tail and knocking everything off the table.
It's pure joy. Yeah.
That's all it was. It was a very fun time for me when they came into the office.
That interview's coming up. Let's do the weekend slate.
This is a great weekend slate. There is no bad weekend slate for the NFL.
It's like 17 children. You love them all.
You're basically Phillip Rivers. PFT, we're going to get some winners.
I got a new special thing going for everyone. I'm going to announce it in a second.
We have a Larry's pick, but we're also brought to you, this whole segment is brought to you by BetMGM. PMT has a new home for sports betting this year, and you need to check out the BetMGM Sports New Jersey app.
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I'm going to have my no-lose parlay of the week.

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Does Larry have a pick, Hank?

He does.

Here's a clue.

Francis, Damian, John, Elizabeth. People in the Bible.
John and Kate plus eight. They're names of? Queens.
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Lions. They probably are names of lions.
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Okay. We have a Loser Leaves Town game.
Yes, we do. We got a big-time Loser Leaves Town game.
It's also the first chapter of the Pinky Game. The Falcons and the Titans is an ultimate loser leaves town game the loser of this game is done yes the falcons are already done but it's truly over and the winner of this team is going to be an are we sure we're they're good team yeah going to be possibly a playoff team the winner to talk about yes the winner of this game will be the most boring team that makes the playoffs.
Here's something. Here's a little tip.
I had this rule. I wrote this rule down week one.
If a Mike Vrabel coached team is an underdog and people are counting them out, that's when you bet on them. So just take them because this is a game that the Titans will win and win convincingly, and everyone will be like, whoa, are the Titans back? And then when they're favored next week, they will drop an egg and score like three points.
I feel like these two coaches going against each other, Vrabel and Quinn, it's like two guys in Frank Thomas' Nugenics commercial. It's like Dan Quinn is the guy with low T and then he pops a couple of those pills that have like fish oil and jewel liquid in them.
And then he just transforms. I feel so much better.
And the wife doesn't mind it either yes it's gonna be it's gonna be a fun game to watch well no actually will not be a fun no yeah but it is a loser leaves town it will be interesting to see who won yes who wins uh we also have uh very rare i i'm not hank's gonna yell at me for this but i would call it an Are we sure we good? but it's also like, so it's Bills, are we sure they're good, and Patriots, how good are they? I actually had this game listed as New England-Buffalo, are we sure they're great? Yeah, because this is, the Patriots obviously have played not great opponents, you play your schedule, who cares, but this is the best defense they're going to face. And on the other side, it's the best defense that the Bills are going to face.
The Bills, it feels like every year right around this time, the Patriots go into Buffalo. Buffalo is all the hope, and it doesn't go well.
So now if the Patriots lose, it doesn't matter because they'll still be there. But if the Bills win, that kind of changes the whole course of their season.

I need to see something out of the city of Buffalo this weekend.

I don't know how you step up from throwing a dildo onto the field.

Maybe just throw a full sex doll, I was thinking,

just like inflatable sex dolls everywhere.

Someone cut off their cock and throw it on the face.

Yeah.

Punch Dave in the face.

Oh, damn.

An actual penis on the field would really step things up.

I don't know if they're committed enough to do that in Buffalo just yet. Maybe just throw some tables onto the field, just full tables.
Yeah. I'm not saying do that.
I'm just saying that would be a sign that they're taking it seriously. The tables or punch Dave in the face? If someone punched Dave in the face, it would be like when Big Poppy got shot.
The person who punched Dave in the face would just get ragdolled, and it would not be a good scene. Don't you think? It be interesting to see what happens because because i mean barstool is a buffalo town like buffalo loves us we love them now dave's gonna go in there and be a jerk to them but i think at the end of the day there's still a love i think there is yeah i i just i fucking love bill's fans yeah they are the best the zoo bass is gonna be out in full force zubaz tuxedos the whole nine yards this is this is your weekend to shine Buffalo it is I wish they could flex it but of course as Hank explained on Monday they can't because they hate the Patriots the league doesn't want this game to be in prime time yeah actually I don't think the city of Buffalo wants this game to be in prime time you want yeah the city of Buffalo for uh for legal and safety reasons wants to limit tailgating time to under 35 minutes.
Right, right. So that one's going to be a very interesting one.
And, you know, the night game, obviously, the Cowboys and the Saints, I think that's a true are we sure they're good yet? Because the Cowboys, similar to the Patriots, have played no one. And now you have to go into the Dome.
I don care who's quarterbacking in the dome. You got to go into the dome and try to prove your worth.
Jerry Jones is going to be sitting there. He's going to have his binoculars set on Sean Payton the entire time.
Well, he's going to be going back and forth between Kellen Moore and Sean Payton. He'll just be like, look at this boy.
Look at this man. He's eating all the fried stuff.
Well, yeah, Jerry Jones is going to be dealing with a wicked hangover after a night on Bourbon Street. That bus is just going to be parked in the middle of Bourbon Street or Frenchman for about eight hours just pounding Johnny Walker blue.
I wouldn't be shocked if Jerry Jones at this point in his life is just like, hey, put a bed in my suite and I'll just crash there. So they drop him off from, like, even though the game's at night, he's like, just drop me off in the suite.
I'll just sleep in the suite. Yeah, he saw Hugh Freeze's setup.
He's like, I want something like that. I want that.
I want that. Okay.
Should we do some picks? Let's do it. Hank, why don't you start us off with some favorites? Hmm.
He's crushing the numbers right now. I'm crunching some numbers right now now I think my favorite that I'm going to take will be the Chiefs okay I had that too hey interesting thank you good pick as well to you people aren't talking about this enough but this is the first professional game that Patrick Mahomes is playing indoors and he's been an outdoor cat his entire life and the first game he's playing as a 99 rating in Madden.
Oh, that's probably even more significant. So now he really has to step up.
Yeah, we'll see how he can fare with a roof over his head. I don't know.
Everyone's expecting him to light it up. I'm hoping that he does too.
I mean, it's important thus far. But you know what's crazy? And now I don't want to get nerdy on everyone here, but if you look at the advanced stats, he actually has taken a step back from last year thus far.
But he's so damn good that it doesn't even make – like he's thrown some interceptions that have been dropped, that kind of thing. But he's so damn good that you don't even notice it.
Yeah, he may have taken a step back, but he's not disappointed. Correct.
He's still going to throw for 6,000 yards. When I say he's taken a step back, I mean he went from 100 out of 100 to like 99.5 out of 100.
Someone did a contract extension simulation for him on Madden, and the deal that they came up with for him was seven years, $270 million. Done.
Done. It's a bargain.
It is a bargain. It is a bargain.
Absolutely. So I was thinking about this because tonight's game is obviously the Packers and the Eagles.
But I was thinking about big, fat coaches and how I miss these teams, Andy Reid teams. I miss the Eagles having a fat coach a lot.
Yeah. And I miss the Packers having a fat coach.
It fits in. And what I don't like more than anything else is the Cardinals.
When you have Cliff Kingsbury, when you have a hot guy that's coaching your team and he does something like kick a field goal from the two yard line, that's a fat guy move. That's a fat guy coach move.
Because their brain doesn't work really well. A skinny guy playing conservatively sucks.
There's nothing worse than that. No, I agree.
Yeah. Fat coaches, they get tired as the game goes along and they just can't think as well.
Just kick it. The fat coaches are kind of out.
Yeah. I hate that.
Yeah. No, it's...
Who's the next one? There's no, like, young, hot offensive coordinator or defense coordinator that's being talked about as the next big coach. I guess Freddie Kitchens and Matt Patricia both got hired in the last two years, so that helped.
Freddie Kitchens could swell up. I could see him getting there.
I mean, he's pretty big. He's a pretty big boy.
Yeah, also the name Kitchens kind of helps, too. He's always in the kitchens.
All right, so you're taking the Chiefs as well? Yep. I want to take the Bears, but I'm not going to do it because I'm not going to be biased here, but I think the Bears will win by 100.
So instead, I'm going to take PFT, your guy, Joe Flacco, the Denver Broncos, minus three. I love Gardner Minshew.
He's a recurring guest. Gardner Minshew's been around a little too much this week.
He went out to the Palouse out at Washington State last Saturday. He took a picture with Funko Rico.
I saw that. He still makes me want to climb a tree naked.
He's a Thursday night football game. I'm just saying, I think Gardner Minshew's very good.
I think the second game you know he actually is the third game he started but he had his first win. Now he has to go to Denver.
It's still hot. All that stuff.
The altitude. I think Denver finally wins again and Denver is in a true must win like the season's over if we don't win.
Right. I was talking to Jeff Delo about this and we were trying to figure out what the problem with Flacco has been this year.
And I think we came up with it. He's old? Number one, he's just— He was never that good? No, there's something wrong with him.
I think it's time to get that narrative started that just like Cam Newton, there's something physically wrong. He's hurt.
He's playing through something right now. And then we tossed out the idea that maybe he has sickle cell, like Ryan Clark had.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe just him playing in Denver this whole time.
And he's just fighting through it. He's just on the verge of death every single play, which if there was a quarterback that was dying while he was playing, the result would look a lot like how Joe Flacco played.
Yes, absolutely. Okay, so those are our favorites.
Hank, why don't you go with your underdog? I will go with the L.A. No, I'm just kidding.
I said the Rams last week as my underdogs, but they weren't underdogs. That's okay.
That counts. It's on us for not catching you.
Yeah. My underdog, I will go with the Redskins.
Okay. Dwayne Haskins.
Finally. It's finally going to be his time.
He has 0% chance they win the game. 0% chance.
Also, he's not playing. So there's that.
Yeah, he's scout team all week. So, Case Keenum's playing.
Maybe the whole scout team plays. Maybe the entire existence of the last 20 years of the Redskins has been a giant rope-a-dope for this weekend.
Yeah. And they're like, ha, we finally got him.
I still like that pick, Hank. Good bet, Hank.
I still like that pick. Daniel Jones, a little too high.
Go back. Everyone's loving Daniel Jones.
Keenum is hurt. Yeah.
But he's still going to play. But if he gets hurt early.

He's not injured.

Okay.

PFT, your underdog.

My underdog, I am going to go with the Dolphins again.

And you want to know why?

Stop.

Chargers are traveling east.

Stop.

Chargers are traveling east.

That's all you got to say about it.

Just roll it out there and win that game.

They got Melvin Gordon coming back.

There's going to be too many touches in the backfield.

None of the guys.

He's not?

Thank you. Chargers are traveling east.
That's all you got to say about him. Just roll it out there and win that game.
They got Melvin Gordon coming back. There's going to be too many touches in the backfield.
None of the guys. He's not? Oh, hey.
There you go. Okay.
Got him. Melvin Gordon's a distraction, though.
That's what I'm going to spin this into. Got him.
So Eckler's going to be upset that Melvin Gordon's coming back. You got him.
Phillip Rivers. They're going to win the game, but I don't see him covering 15 and a half.
Okay. I'm surprised this one's still on the board here from everyone.
I think the Browns are going to cover seven easy. I think the Browns are going to win this game because they need it more than anyone else.
And you hear it all week about how Freddie Kitchens sucks. By the way, did you see the video that it might have been a Baker audible? Yeah.
But I deleted that from my memory. So it was a Freddie Kitchens.
This is an idiot. I heard Baker not take responsibility for it.
I heard Freddie take responsibility for it. So Baker told us that it was Freddie by not saying it was him.
So I'm going to believe that. I think the Ravens are slightly overrated and the Browns are underrated.
And seven seems like too much. it was a 26-24 game in week 17 last year.

Yeah. And now we're, you know, not, the Browns have gotten a little better.

Lamar's obviously gotten better, but feels like seven's too much.

And John Harbaugh has become the new Doug Peterson.

Yeah.

He's doing the advanced sats and analytics.

All the time.

It'd be interesting to find out if there's like somebody that does online analysis for

football teams that is a consultant that might be working for the Ravens. I'm just putting two and two together.
I don't know. Not going to name names, but he's not Warren Dull.
I think he bashed the Browns, so we crossed him off the list. No, I'm saying he works for the Ravens.
Oh, yeah. He works for the Ravens.
Alright, Hank, you're over. Go.
Patriots-Bills. Okay.
Interesting, Hank. I hate it so much.
I love it. That's my under.
I don't hate that logic. But no, I seriously don't.
Yeah. If you just look at something long enough, you're like, this is so bad.
And then you're just like, you know what? Let's fucking do it. Was it? Like, you assume that the Patriots are going to shut the Bills out because they haven't let up a touchdown.
You do assume that, yeah. And then you think the Patriots will win by, like, 21 points, but then there's still, you know, 21 points.
Right. Where's that coming from? Right.
It's going to happen somewhere. That's a good point, Hank.
It was Confucius who said the wisest man is the man who knows nothing. Who knows that he knows nothing.
Who knows that he knows nothing. And Hank has finally realized that, making you the smartest man.
Yes. Correct.
All right. What's your pick, PFT, for your over? My over, I'm going Kansas City-Detroit.
Patrick Holmes has never played a game indoors. And so he's good.
Something about that roof over his head. It's just going to work.
It's all going to click. Fast turf.
All right. I'm taking the Giants and the Redskins over.
I feel like there's going to be no defense in that game. Over 49.
Dwayne Haskins. Yep.
That's going to be great. Hank's not even listening.
All right. Dwayne Haskins.
Dwayne Haskins. When's gonna be great Hank's not even listening all right Dwayne Haskins Dwayne Haskins when he comes out it's gonna be like listen listen when you get Dwayne Haskins and Jordan and Jordan Reed on that field together scary Terry I like that OSU connection back in action all right unders gross I'll start actually I have the Patriots bills under okay 42 and a-to-head on that one.
That one's going to be gross in terms of offensive football. I'm going to go Broncos-Jags.
Okay. All right.
Good pick. I don't mind that.
38 and a half? Yeah. I'm 38 right now.
I'll give you the half. I'm going Seattle-Arizona.
48. I think that Seattle's going to win like 24 to 12.
Okay. One of those types of scores.
Okay. All right.
So those are our picks. I'm going to do something special here.
So I teased this. Four field goals from Cliff Kingsbury all from within the 10-yard line.
Yeah. Okay.
So here's my special thing. This is going to be my no-lose parlay of the week.
I did it week one at one, and I forgot to do it the last two weeks. So I'm back.
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Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com um okay let's do fantasy fuck boys and let's get to our huge huge interview with lorenzo neal and mike allstadt what's up boys yeah it's mike and osarugula oh my stardom is E cubed That's right Triple fucking E Yeah E E E E Talking Bali We got four deaths this month In Massachusetts alone That shit is back Get some triple E Don't get some triple E Stay inside Don't go inside Triple E I have no idea what you're talking about I'm not touching that fucking triple E What are you talking about? You're talking about Oh, you're talking about Ebola? Tripoli. That's where that smile? Motherfucker Napoleon got his ass kicked.
Mosquitoes fucking suck your arm and you die. Okay.
Tripoli. Shit.
Might just be a Boston thing. Okay, a little late for mosquitoes.
No, no, no. My sit-em is Uncle Rico.
Yeah. That dude looks old as fuck.
Yeah. No way he can still throw a football over those mountains.
Damn, I never believed he could in the first place. Looks like he's been sucking down some mosquito blood.
And my sleeper is Pitbull. Dolly! J-O is performing at the halftime show in Maiao, and Mr.
305 isn't missing that big of a party. That is such bullshit Pitbull is Miami's Imagine Dragons.
Dolly, dolly, dolly. I like how you said Maiao.
Maiao'll be doing the white. Yo, what's up? This is Briscotti to Hottie.
This weekend, I'm Scott and Tony Romo. That's right.
Good Italian kid. He's going to be out there on the golf link.
And if he wins, Derivelle deleted the old Twitter account, baby. We need to put a hit out on whoever's in first.
Wait, what? Let's murder some people, Hank. I'm writing this down.
We're going to talk about this after. Derivelle saidbell said If that's No no we'll talk about it Andy Romo We'll talk about it now You write this down Cause we're gonna We're gonna chew the fat On this one Okay I'm sitting referees That's right refs You know what we used to do The whistleblowers Back in the day Yeah Don't get political We give you some Illegal contact As long as it's within The five yardyard boundary of the Lions scrimmage, I could murder you, you whistleblow fuck.
My fire fest of the week, that's my sleeper of the week. I'm sleeping bye weeks.
Sleeping bye. I know what you're thinking.
No football for my team. My guys aren't playing.
What am I supposed to do for eight hours? Well, I'll tell you what. Trick your family into thinking that you're skipping out on your team's game to hang out with them on Sunday.
Don't tell them it's a bye week. Don't think you're a saint.
Shout out, Francis. Shout out, Mary.
Shout out, Paul. Peter.
God bless. Mary.
All of them. All right.
What's up, guys? I don't have a name this week because I always forget my names, and then it always just be some tortellini or something. Nice.
Johnny, no name. My stardom is Kobe Stans.
Bleacher Report came out with their top 50 all-time NBA players, and Kobe was 14. Steph Curry is 10, and Kobe's 15.
They're mad. They're real mad.
They're big mad mad. Who the neighbors? Ha ha.
Mamba mentality. My sit-um is Kawhi Leonard because speaking of Kobe, Kobe's teaching Kawhi how to hog the basketball and be a terrible teammate.
That's got to send a shiver down your spine, Clippers fans. Hopefully he teaches him how to talk.
Kawhi and die. My sleeper is flannels.
It's flannel season. That's it.
Comfy. That's it.
Just get comfy sleeper is flannels It's flannel season That's it

Comfy

That's it

Just get comfy

I just fucking love flannels

Makes you feel like you're Nirvana or something

Makes you feel like you're getting hugged by a lumberjack

On every inch of your body

Put on some Radiohead and listen to the, you know, sip of coffee

And just be like, this fucking life sucks

Radiohead's for fucking pussy

Yeah, but life sucks

Alright, we gotta clean up some shit

Because, one, I wanted to talk quickly about this Kobe Bleacher Report list because that's fucking funny. Bleacher Report has, like, figured out a way, in the middle of September, who the fuck cares about the top 50 NBA players? I don't know.
Was there something reason? Was there a reason why they put it out there? Of all time? Of all time. Yeah, I don't know why.
I just happened to see. Is this something I missed? I stumbled across a list of the top 50 current players, and Jay Butt was 21.
I don't know if you saw that. Well, no, he's fallen off since I made the proclamation.
I never said that. I squatted on the take.
Kobe was ranked 14. Steph Curry was ranked 10.
Kobe stands. Bleach Report literally, I think they sat in a meeting, and they're they're like hey we need some content that isn't us just like having a guy get pancake block and then turn into a literal pancake what can we do to get everyone riled up I know put Steph Curry ahead of Kobe on an all-time NBA players list and you will get the most interactions because Kobe stands are the craziest people on the internet yeah.
I mean, they're probably squeezing a lot of content out of this because they can very easily just take a screenshot of Steph being ahead of Kobe and just do the who did this fam. Right.
Cry face, cry face. That's a million retweets right there.
Then they can do a slideshow of all the Kobe stans that threatened to kill us for putting him behind Steph Curry on the list. Boom.
more content right there. Right.
So, Gene, hats off. When they've got a win, like when they did that picture for the U.S.
women's team where it was just a bunch of random celebrities and they just set the internet on fire, or when they have Kobe behind Steph Curry, I'll tip my cap. The greatest trolls that aren't really trolls that are accidental trolls of the internet.
Yeah, behind you is one position you do not want Kobe Bryant to be. Correct.
The other thing. Ravel? Yeah.
What is this? So Ravel said that he would delete his Twitter account if Tony Romo won the golf tournament that he was in this weekend. Because Tony Romo was playing as an amateur in a PGA tournament this weekend.
So Boomer is going to fill in? It's not a PGA tournament, but it's filled with professional golfers. Boomer is going to, Boomer Sise is going to fill in on Sunday if Tony makes the cut.
So our darling Jake, whose birthday it is today, by the way, told me he's five back after today. Oh, so Ravel's a fucking pussy.
Did he tweet it before or after? No, before. It was before.
Alright, maybe he's not a pussy. No, he's definitely a pussy, but not for that reason.
But Tony birdied the first hole. I also feel like this is like, if Tony Roma wins, I could definitely see Ravel replying and being like, haha, just kidding.
Or like, I would delete my Twitter for a minute. Yeah, right, right.
Some dumb bullshit. How hilarious would it be, though, if Boomer got up in the booth and absolutely killed it and took Tony's job and did a DAC on Tony again? Real shame.
Real shame. Okay, so that is our weekend preview, our Fantasy Fuck Boys.
Big college football game in Nebraska. I'm rooting for you in Nebraska.
I know I shit on you guys a lot. I want you guys to be relevant again.
It's not going to happen, but it's nice to say those things, right? It's very nice. I know that they're not going to win and nothing is going to come of it, so I can comfortably sit here and be like, I'm rooting for you guys.
Congratulations. Yeah, like you guys, I want you guys to do this.
College football is better when Nebraska is a good team. Yeah, when Nebraska is doing steroids in the 80s.
Now people are going to be really mad about that. All right, let's get to Mike Allstott and Lorenzo Neal.
Hockey is on. And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots regular season or playoffs win or lose no matter what happens no matter where it happens new amsterdam vodka is there uh let's get to our interview mike allstott and l Neal.
Okay, we now welcome on two very special guests. So special, PFT is in his tuxedo.
They're future Hall of Famers. Thank you.
Appreciate that. It's fullback Friday.
We have two legends of the game, Lorenzo Neal and Mike Allstott. Future Hall of Famers, I'll say it again.
We just got to get in the pipeline. Thank you guys for coming here.
We randomly have a bench press that we might have to use late. That's weird.
It just showed up today. So we have the bench press.
We got the full backs. This is the most nervous he's ever been.
Yeah. I'll do some reps.
Yes. What's the over-under on reps I can do? Because I don't even know.
I'm going to say under 10. I got 12.
Okay. Disrespectful from both of you guys.
I'll do 15. Well, we were smart because we got the bench press, but we only have 245, so you can't go on.
I was thinking of my reps, actually. Which is? Yeah.
I was going to be 13. Okay.
What do you bench right now? 225. That's the max I'll do.
Yeah. A lot of reps.
Yeah, just throw it up there, whatever. What about you, Lorenzo? Yeah, I'm in the same wheelhouse.
I don't really go that heavy anymore. $225.
But, I mean, we had to. Me and the big fella, we could still throw it around if we wanted to.
But we don't do it anymore. We let the kids do it.
We got issues. Yeah.
That's like us. Yeah, we got all these issues.
I don't go for weight anymore. We go for tone.
We keep it pretty tight. We're a health-conscious podcast.
There we go. Right, right.
Before we get into it, because I'm going to have some very nice things to say about both you guys. Yeah, right.
I want to address an elephant in the room. Mike, I've been talking a lot of shit about you recently.
Yeah? And we need to squash this right now. Is it about my offense? It's about your offense that you run.
You're a high school coach, and you don't use a fullback.

What the fuck?

What the hell?

You're just going to turn your back?

I've been coached up.

Here it is.

I don't have no social media.

I never have, and I really don't get into it.

But, again, the boys from Western Michigan are filming me on everything that's going on.

Your son, right?

Yeah, my son.

Your fan base, right?

And I got this last night from me.

You better be a heads up, Dad.

He's going to ask you about the fullback.

I think that's great. Yeah, you don't run 11 personnel.

So what's up with that?

I don't have the personnel.

You don't have a fullback?

You can't grow a fullback?

Or you can't just sneak in a pair of pads and be like, oh. I have a school of 260 kids I coach at.
Okay. Total enrollment, right? So I'll have 30 kids.
And so when my son was playing in 13 to 16, right, I did have a fullback, right? I did go spread. But, again, when it came into when we wanted to pound the ball, I did bring a fullback in there.
I had actually two fullbacks then, and I don't right now. So you have any, like, have you, like, I would imagine you just show up at, like, the middle school being like, that kid's going to be a fullback.
Like, how do you know? There's no question. When they walked through the door to shadow and they went there in eighth grader and they were right there in the office going, hey, what do you do? You play basketball? I mean, you play football? You play football? You play football? You play sports? Yeah.
What's going on?

So, yes, we're all about the kids walking in.

So what does a fullback look like?

Like what's the type?

What are the traits that need to be – a kid has to have for you to be like,

that's my fullback?

Oh, 6'1", 250.

That's it?

Yeah.

That's easy for a 14-year-old.

Right.

Yeah, I see those every day.

What do you mean? If you take Gronk and you just squish them together and compress them a little bit. Yeah, why don't you just take Gronk? No, I just need a bowling ball.
I need an aggressive kid, you know what I mean? I need an aggressive kid to go in there and hit the linebackers and hit the end on the power and do it. Michael, I never thought I'd see the day.
I'm so glad you brought that up, that you're going to sit here and tell me you play basketball on the grass and you think you're going to win on a consistent basis. I'm disappointed.
Thank you. PFT.
Thank you. That's all.
Exactly. Let's talk about this.
So when I did come up with this offense, the first two years I was tight end, all right, and fullback, running back, right? High school, they packed the box. I didn't have the personnel.
22 personnel. All right.
So I had to spread them out, right? Spread them out. Then my quarterback, who is who? My son.
Uh-huh. Of course.
So how are you going to tailor an offense, right? You're going to tailor an offense to your quarterback because obviously you want him to get an order out of you and be able to do. Sorry about that.
You don't want to pay for college. That's okay.
That's how this whole thing started. Because you didn't want to pay for his college.
Oh, no question.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's smart.

So you were running up the score so that your son could get all the stats.

You were basically playing like when you play. The whole read game, the whole thing?

Like everybody else is doing, right?

Yeah.

When you play, they don't have the college football video game anymore,

but I would always play.

And then the first week I'd put up 15 touchdowns against, you know,

the sisters of the poor.

So I would get the Heisman.

You're doing that in real life with your kid. Well're yeah we're trying actually that's that's the goal right that's the goal that's perfect that is perfect so I think a lot of people don't realize that you guys used to be teammates back in the day for like for a hot second right yeah in the buck so when you guys were playing together uh who was first string who Who was second string? I was second on everything.

And a backfield with me and Mike when I would be in. We had packages, though.

Yeah.

We had packages.

We were the big boys.

We were a rhino package.

Okay.

So, again, if we got hot, you know, Ward got kind of upset.

Yeah.

Did you guys ever go one-on-one?

Did you guys ever do a little.

I'm sorry, Ward, but you did.

Yeah.

You guys ever do Oklahoma drill against each other? No. Pulling the ring? Anything like that? Him, get on my hip and don't dip.
Let's ride. Don't you say? Yeah.
Call up the dog and piss on the fire. Let's ride.
That's right, baby. Yes.
I'm in the huddle. Can't breathe.
And come on, Daddy, let's go. Get on my hip.
We were – that was a great story. We were playing – so we'd do the – every time we would score, we'd do the Mark McGuire, Sammy Solstice.
Yeah. You know, the – yeah, we were rolling because people didn't want to see us.
I mean, Denny Green, Reston Priest, I think they went 15-2. The only game they lost was us.
We were 3-4 and we had a win. And we played them.
Mike went crazy on them.

I think we had over 300 yards rushing.

We just lined up.

And then hardly lose a game.

We just played smash mouth football.

This guy's tongue's hanging out of his mouth.

And I said, let's go, buddy.

Let's go.

We were just running the ball down their throat.

This guy's hilarious in the huddle.

Hilarious.

Yeah.

We get fired up.

What a big win for us.

What's the best hit you guys ever put on somebody?

Best block you ever had?

I'm going to say the best run against

Washington against

when I ran over

Springs, the Ohio State

DB. Sean Springs.

Yeah, wearing the white compression sleeves.

Yeah, I remember that.

You get into the truck job and you said

get on my back. I accidentally stepped on his chest when I ran

through him. Oh, yeah.
You'd stepped on

Thank you. You brought it today, Brad.
You ready for it. I thought you dressed up for us.
I did. I did.
But this is how I'm showing you love by letting you know that I'm going to set a tone in this interview right now. Just like you want to hit somebody first play in the game.
That's what I'm doing right now. Showing you who the alpha is at the table.
We're going to have to come over the table. What about the run? Never mind.
Never mind. I won't answer all my questions.
What about your run against the Browns, which is like the, the alpha is at the state we're gonna have to come over the table yeah what about the run never mind what about my question what about your run against the browns which is like the the mike all-stop run i always think of is that one and it's perfect because it was like nine yards and it was you it wasn't a touchdown or anything but you just basically shred everyone just throwing people off of you do you remember that one yeah no i recall um it was just opportunity. I mean, I think a lot of times is, you know, certain situations for me to get the ball was four minutes, goal line.
And I was always a guy that needed to take care of my opportunities or otherwise I wasn't going to get it again. You know what I mean? So, you know, just a second, third, fourth, fifth effort guy.
And that's how I always played. Okay.
And then, Lorenzo, I was reading up on some of the old interviews you did and my favorite thing you said was that you're just Eddie George's doorman. And I think that's the perfect way to describe a fullback.
You're like, I'm just his doorman. I'm out there.
So you blocked for some unbelievable running backs. You know, LT, but Eddie George as well.
Corey Dillon, Mike Allstock, work done. All those guys.
And everyone was so unique in so many different ways. I remember talking about a big hit.
I think Ray Childers. I don't know if you guys remember.
I'm going way back in days, my days in New Orleans. He's a defensive lineman, big, strong guy.
It did a wham block. And I hit him.
And it hurt me too. But he said, I think he broke.
You can read his lips. I think he broke my effing arm.
I mean, it was a nice, nice hit. I mean, he sat on the ground.
They had to come get him. And he was like, gave me the look.
And I was like, sometime you get the bear, sometime the bear gets you. So that particular one was that one.
Like, oh, okay. I got that guy.
And he was a hell of a player. But that's it.
It was about being selfish. It's about, hey, you know what you line up, you know, you go out there and if you want to play,

especially with the fullback position, you see how it's just a dying breed and they don't get the reps and get the,

you know, the praise.

I think that they deserve their alignment in the backfield.

And Mike was one of the elite ones because of the fact he could run,

could catch, do a lot of other things that, you know,

it could be a tailback slash fullback H back. He could do it all.

He was versatile. One of the most versatile fullbacks that, you know,

the game has seen. And it's just been, you know,

that journey of just going out there and saying, you know what,

Thank you. I'm going to make you quit.
You are not going to stand and last for four quarters against me. That's what I thrived off of, and that's what, you know, kind of drove me.
Is the fullback coming back, though? Because I feel like Kyle Shanahan, Matt LaFleur, all these guys, you know what the Patriots are doing? It feels like a lot of offenses now, not counting Mike Allstotz because he doesn't run with the fullback, but most – now Mike Allstotz is looking at me and I'm scared. Shitless.
No, no, keep it coming. I thought we had a good rapport and I overstepped it way too early.
It's like you and Bo Pelini are two guys that we've interviewed where they'll be laughing, and then one second they'll just straighten the mouth out and just stare at you like I might kill you. I think you like us, but you still might murder us.
But the fullback's coming back, right? You guys got a jersey up to 42. I like what Kansas City, he gets after it.
He's a boy dog. He'll bite you.
He'll hit you. It's saw coming back enough though it's not but cal hush check man they use a fullback over 50 percent you you don't know no no i get it there's there's certain there's certain teams some guys have been coaching for so long right and they got it going on right and he came from that tree yeah right he came from that tree with the fullback but you, you know, in the other, the upcoming young offense coordinators,

they're not doing that, right?

I mean, so.

The Ravens did a little bit.

The Ravens did with the Broncos.

They got juice check.

Yeah.

It's a new fullback.

It's actually kind of like what you guys were,

where you can, you know, catch the ball a little too.

It's more the age back.

It's not juice check.

You know, it's not the the traditional like, you know,

they put you in the backfield and we know we're coming at you.

You know what I mean?

Just ram through holes.

I think the success the Patriots have had,

especially in the postseason over the last year,

Devlin is a big part of that short yardage offense.

And he is an old school fullback.

Yeah, they'll split him out wide sometimes,

but nine times out of ten his job is to run

directly downhill. The Patriots have a great system of everybody knows their role.
Right. Right? And there's nothing selfish about them.
And I think that's what was so successful when we were the Buccaneers and stuff like that when we were making our run. We knew our role, and we knew what the heck to do for each other.
You know what I mean? And they play for each other. And that's why some guys can't live in the Patriots system you know what I mean and if they do obviously you've seen you know recent stories on on people but again we were so you know unselfish in a lot of our manners like when your time came you had to make opportunity of it and that's how my story is you know what I mean when I got the ball I wanted to you know do it for my team more so than the stats or it was that I needed to do.
And it just came about because we worked so hard together. When you guys played the Super Bowl against the Raiders, did you know all the plays beforehand? Gruden was doing two-minute drilling on Friday.
I've watched a clip of that before this interview. He was running as Rich Gannon.
He was doing Gannon when we go over two minutes on Fridays. He was doing there.
He'd take everything, call out everything, call out every freaking play and everything like that. It's crazy.
Dink and dunk. And he was actually – and he's the first time that ever happened.
Right. That was only his first year.
But I've never seen him in my six years with him to do that. But, yeah, he was calling exactly everything that was going on.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
John Lynch said it was so easy. He said that Super Bowl was like – I was like, I cannot believe they're doing everything that Gruden said.
said. Yeah.
Interesting. That's nuts.
I mean, you could feel it once the game started getting out of hand, but it is very weird to have that situation where a coach leaves one team and goes right to the other, and then they meet in the Super Bowl, and we saw by the final result, what was the final score? It was like, I remember. Too much to too little.
Yeah. 42, 21.
I don't know. It's back in the day when Super Bowls sucked.
Yeah. There's like a good 10-year run where it's like nobody should watch the Super Bowl because it's going to be a 20-point blowout.
Yeah, now it's like the Super Bowls are interesting. The one that was good in that run, I mean, we should really bring it up.
How often in a given year do you see Kevin Dyson reaching for the goal line? One yard, man. You know, that breaks my heart just watching it.
watching it. All that work, hard work, and one yard, too short.
It's crazy, because two weeks ago, he was a hero. The Music City Miracle.
Which you started. Let's talk about that real quick, because I don't think people give you...
I think that was a four pass. You're not using a pullback.
Don't start. Don't start.
We had Coach Fisher in here. He told us to practice.
Yeah. Like the signature play, you could almost make an argument that your signature play over your career was the Music City Miracle in the way that you started.
You look pretty athletic. Throwing that ball, buddy.
Yeah. Don't start, Mike.
Don't start. It's not becoming of you.
You know, we call it the home run throwback, but it's a.k.a. the Music City Miracle.
But it was something that I remember we got the huddle. We practiced every – it's not a Friday that didn't go by that we did not practice that.
It's every single Friday we practiced that. And on Fridays, though, and Saturdays when you practice it, you know, you don't have pads.
So actually I could catch it and I could actually throw the pass all the way across. And I didn't want to take all the credit that day on that Sunday afternoon.
I was like, you know what? Let someone else have it. No, no, no, no, no.
Listen, you can get Frank Wycheck in here. They huddle up.
We huddle up. Lowry calls the play.
We're going to do this. Dyson's not even supposed to be on there.
It's supposed to be Ike Berg. Ike's hurt, so he can't do it.
The next is supposed to be Derek Mason. He's got a concussion.
He can't do it. He was like the last guy who has never hardly even practiced at Dyson.

So when we called him to huddle, said, we're going to do it,

home run throwback, a.k.a. Music City Miracle, everyone huddles up.

We tell him we're going to do the play.

It's going to be on.

I go to Frank Wycheck, sidebar conversation.

I said, Frank, they're going to kick this ball to me.

Come get it.

I said, I'm going to catch it.

And I said, they're going to kick it to me.

Watch.

And you come get it. I didn't tell everyone else because then people start looking.
Exactly. Now my job switch, my role switch.
So Frank's the only one that I told on that mic. And I freaking, it's like slow motion.
I said, oh my God, the ball's coming. I was trying to make sure the elbows are nice and tucked.
I said, I got to please do not drop this because I have a lot of drops. Sometimes I had hands like Roberto Durant, hands of stone.
And so shoot, comes. Sure enough, the ball comes to me.
Take a couple steps. Wide check.
Pitch it back to him. Crank up the band.
Make a block. So we've had Coach Fisher on a couple times.
He said the same thing that you guys practice it and that Dyson, the reason why it was so close to a forward pass was because Dyson was not supposed to be there. Exactly.
And he didn't know exactly where he should be standing. That's awesome, though, when it works out.
Yeah, it's awesome. It's awesome.
And I've thought the same thing watching it. I just always assume that you handed the ball back because you said you'd rather block on a play than throw a pass.
How old were you when that happened? What year was that, 96? No, 99. That was 99? So 14 years old.
You were still the five single knuckle shuffle at that time? Did you start that already? That was after the game. That was after the game, yeah.
This is when I still thought I might be able to be a fullback as my profession growing up until I stopped growing horizontally and vertically. But yeah, so Lo, that was probably your play, and we've been talking a little bit.
I know there's been a lot of chatter about your campaign for the Hall of Fame. I think both you guys should be in the Hall of Fame.
It's been a while since a true fullback has gotten in. That's the issue.
Mike, you would be more of a halfback than a fullback, I guess, if you were to put on your highlight reel and say, OK, these are Mike Allstott's best plays, right? It's you dancing, running through people, having insanely fast feet as you're also running people over. And, Lo, your highlight reel would be you just knocking the piss out of people.
So it's like you are both fullbacks, but you're two different types of fullback. And I don't want you to split votes.
So we've got to figure out a way, like, how do we figure out who's getting in the Hall of Fame here? For me personally, I don't care if Mike gets in. I don't want you to split votes so we got to figure out a way like how do we how do we figure out who's getting in the Hall of Fame here for me personally I don't care if Mike gets in I don't care if Moose Johnson gets in I don't care if Larry Sinners get in I think there should be a fullback in the Hall of Fame I think if you look at Moose Johnson you look at guys like Sam Gash you look at you know even Corey Schlesinger a guy that I loved in Detroit who you know didn't block a lot but when in, he made guys apologize.
Sam Gash would get down to William Floyd. There's a lot of guys.
Tommy Rathman, you've seen what he brought to the game. I look at it, and I'm just like, I just think that there has been, they let red guy, you let punters and stuff in.
It should be a fullback, should be in the Hall of Fame. Mike's deserving.
Moose Johnson's deserving. You go and you play double-digit years.
You go out there. You block.
You're putting it on the line. Sam Gashko, look at highlight reels of that guy, what he did.
Max Schrum, what he did in Seattle. I mean, there's a lot of guys that don't get the credit.
So for me personally, yeah, I know I got the shirts and stuff and T-shirts and campaign and all the different things. You got it going on, brother.
No, honestly, I'd be happy if you were in. I think the one thing is, though, it's like the people that are in are always the superstars.
You don't see the role players, the guys that are taken care of, paving the way, doing the small things behind the scenes for the statistic, for, you know, the statistic guys.

You know what I mean?

Right.

And remember, it's a team game.

You need all 11, right?

Absolutely.

To win it at one given time.

So that's what this whole thing, you know, that we're talking about is, hey, why are we being forgotten just because we don't have the 10,000 yards rushing and we don't have the gazillion touchdowns or we don't have this or we don't have that. You know what I mean? We're there each and every day.
And we put, and the thing is, I think so. We did it the right way.
You know what I mean? We put our hearts and souls and passion and did it the right way and stayed out of trouble and everything that was possibly due to live our dreams. You know what I mean? And make sure that we're out there.
And when we were out there, we made sure we were going to get out there awfully fast. You know what I mean? If there was some type of injury.
And that's the one thing that I think that is being forgotten a lot of times when we're talking about, you know, when you're an NFLer. You know what I mean? A true NFLer.
Why don't we just get the fullback position is in the hall of fame so it's like everyone wouldn't that be the ultimate fullback where you guys all don't take personal credit you just take credit for the position and then we induct just the position as itself yeah yeah you all get gold jackets boom done i like that idea that's right because then you guys can do a speech and be like, Mike can go up and be like, you know

what?

I don't want to take credit.

I'll let Lowe talk.

And then Lowe goes up and is like, I don't want to take credit.

I'll let Moose talk.

And then you guys just go around and around for like five hours.

And it will last for hours.

It will still be better than Ray Lewis.

And we'll have enough time to have the after party.

Yeah.

It will still be better than Ray Lewis' speech.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There it is.

That's the idea.

I love it.

I had a question.

We were talking beforehand. Lorenzo, your son goes to Purdue.
Mike, you went to Purdue. Why do you guys not like fun? Why we don't like what? Fun.
Fun. Fun.
You went to Purdue. Mike's looking like he's going to kill us again.
Yep. I'm just going to do that every few minutes.
Just be like, get him back. You don't like fun.
You don't like fun, and you don't want your son to have fun, so you send him to Purdue. Mike had a lot of fun.
West Lafayette. Mike is actually confused.
He's like, college was awesome. What are you talking about? Mike had some fun at Purdue.
I met some people at Purdue. Is it true, Mike, that you used to train by pushing your Jeep at the practice fields at Purdue? Uphill.
Jesus Christ. In the snow.
Uphill. In the snow.
Would there be anybody sitting? All the cheerleaders in the Jeep. Would somebody be in the driver's seat ready to get the brake? Yeah, so Jamie Wachow, my defensive lineman.
So after leg day, we'd go back. Wait, after leg day, you'd push your Jeep? Yeah yeah so there was a parking lot that was uh for the band right it was all uh marked out painted the parking lot band camp yeah exactly for uh uh field you know 100 yards field and and it actually had a little slope going and going one way so he would get in we would turn up like metallica leslep and whatever and freaking get after it right and push it push the way up all right next person turn around and we just switch off and keep on doing it so i mean that's that's a stereotype for a fullback but i fucking love it yeah no i love it yeah no it's uh it's the truth yeah yeah and then you did you also train with tires i read something about you.
What did you do with tires? I actually started pushing a station wagon in high school. So that's where it started from.
And then I had the Jeep when I went to college. But we'd actually have down the cornfields, we're at everything, and then all of a sudden there's cornfields.
So we actually used to go from telephone pole to telephone pole pushing it and then when we was uh when i was in um high school i used to have tires and run 40 yard dashes in my yard and and i have a like just a strip of no grass because that's where the tires were every day jesus that's awesome yeah yeah what about you lo what did you do to train you know what me i just picked up pigs and bucked hay and you know i'm country boy. I'm from the farm.
I'm from a town called Lemore, California. You just picked up pigs.
Picked them up. Put them down.
A lot of pig balls. Ate a lot of pig nuts.
Mountain oysters. When you get a chance to come out, you come out to Central Valley down there to Lemore, California, and I'll take you out there to farm.
I've eaten a couple nuts. yeah.
I've had Rocky Mountain oysters before. Yeah, so you cut them.
You throw a little oil in there, and you make sure you clip them. Make sure you put a little kind of rubber band for they don't bleed out.
Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you how you do it.
Drink them up. Absolutely.
So, yeah, so you'd have to give them a shot. So you had to grab these pigs and wrestle them.
So I'm wrestling pigs. I had to get up every morning at, believe it or not, 4.30 every morning.
You know he's an All-American wrestler, right? Yeah, I know. I haven't written it down.
He wrestled a sumo wrestler. Yeah.
Beat a pin. Milk cows.
I had to do it all. Buck, hey, you have to get that hook.
Boom, boom. You don't use your back because you blow your back out.
So every day I'd run for 150 yards, 16 tackles a game, average. And then I have to get up the next morning.
On Saturday, my dad would say, rise and shine. Those pigs don't care how many yards you ran for today, boy.
Get up. Let's go.
Those pigs need picking up. Absolutely.
For what reason were you picking up the pigs? Because if you have to give them shots, you've got to move them to different pens. They've got to monitor them.
Just transport this moving pigs around. Absolutely.
I like it. Calfs, you know, when the moms have the babies, you got to get the calves out because it's cold.

They'll freeze outside.

So you got to bring them in and put them in a little stall

and give them milk.

So you're doing a lot of – I'll tell you,

I'd go to school smelling like pig shit.

He just read this on the internet.

He just read this on the internet.

I mean, it's great because it is –

well, there's kind of like this story of every fullback

and having these, you know, pushing jeeps, picking up pigs.

It's like John Henry.

Yeah, but have you guys have obviously talked to other fullbacks? It feels like everyone has one of these stories, the most blue-collar position there is. Mike Corny does it.
He did the same thing. Mike looked up to you so much, Mike Corny.
He's pushing cars, doing the same thing that you did, you know, because it's crazy. Guys would contact us.
Guys would contact me. God, I want to be like you.
Vontae Leach, all these guys, they'll contact us, pick up the phone. Tony Richardson, the great fullback, too.
Didn't want to mention him as well. But it's crazy because a lot of them, that's just hardworking guys.
Yeah. It's awesome.
Yeah. It's awesome.
No, it's – there wasn't modern-day technology as there is now. You know what I mean? You go in one warehouse and you get to do it all.
We had to be creative. It must be crazy walking into college facilities now and seeing the weight room and seeing all this stuff.
It's insane. Yeah, right? Yeah.
We'd still be playing. The way that the NFL and stuff is now, you can only be in pads 16 days during the season.
So you only pad it up. 16 days, bro.
That's nothing. That is not even a whole season.
You're only talking about pads only twice, 16 times. So that's nothing.
Right. He's three years older than me.
When I was at Purdue, we went three days. Jeez.
Three days. So we had individual, right, in uppers, right? We came back for offense, defense about an hour, hour and a half after that.
And then we had lunch, nap, and came back for a full scrimmage every day. Every day.
That sounds so annoying. Yeah.
I mean, that's the way it was. But while you were playing, you probably hated it, right? No, because I was doing what I loved to do.
I didn't know any better. I didn't know any better.
There wasn't no talk of, oh, well, Indiana down the streets, they're going one a day and they're on pads. It wasn't heard of, you know what I mean? When I was with Dungy, we had the pads on every day.
Every day when I came in the league, nothing was heard of like that. What was that transition like between Dungy and John Gruden? Because I can't think of two people that are less alike than those guys.
Night and day. Night and day.
Was there like a transition where when Gruden comes in, you're like, holy shit, this guy's serious? No cussing one day, he cussing every day. And then everyone is saying, fuck, man.
You saw it. Yeah.
On Hard Knocks, right? Yeah. I mean, so.

Dungy didn't have to say much.

Dungy just respected you.

Dungy had the look.

Right.

The only time Dungy ever got fired up is when his own players fought on the practice field.

Interesting.

And it's only happened probably, you know, less than a handful of times in my career that they fought.

And he'd kick them off the field.

And he got furious.

Really?

We actually had John Lynch on. And he said that you were told that you two couldn't hit each other in practice because you hit each other harder than anyone's ever been hit so that was with herm edwards okay excuse me when herm edwards was uh the db coach all right so uh he uh i guess you know after talking to john that i was a clavicle breaker.
So don't hit him. Oh, you guessed you were a clavicle breaker.
No. It seems like you're walking around being like, damn, all these guys are going on IR after they hit me.
No, but really, I mean, we were really probably, you know, less than two or three times really having me contact, you know, in practice, you know, because obviously he's going to come in the box and he wants to pop people and stuff like that but both of them are crazy yeah so yeah he told you don't do that anymore you guys don't hit each other anymore no herm told him yeah don't hit him don't oh so he it was for his protection yeah the way he made it seem was like you guys were both not allowed to hit each other you know at the time he would come up to me and says you know i can you know, I can't come down to the box, blah, blah, blah, and do that. But, yeah, I mean, after a while, you know, after my rookie year, you know, I had something to prove.
You know, my rookie year, just like every other rookie when we're, you know, 10, 12 years in the league, we're like, hey, that dude's trying, you know what I mean? Settle down, young boy, right? Right. But, anyway, it was just something that just came about, and I guess it was conversations between Herm Edwards and John.
Yeah. Going to put you guys both on the spot here.
Tough decision for fullbacks. Cowboy collar or neck roll? Cowboy.
Neck roll. Oh! Trouble in paradise.
Damn. All right.
I should have brought you a neck roll. Yeah, yeah.
A neck roll in a tuxedo would have been a tuxedo. That is sweet.
I got cowboy collars coming for you guys. Okay.
So what was the decision making when you get assigned your shoulder pads? Mike, you in particular, you're like, let me get this big-ass fucking thing that covers up my entire helmet. It was just my outfit my whole life.
You know what I mean? I had it in high school. I actually had the horseshoe one.
You know what I mean? The actual horseshoe that flayed out. And it had to be all taped up when it got all ripped up.
And then, yeah, I had a similar situation like I had in the pros in college. And it just evolved.
I don't know. It just evolved.
You were just comfortable in it. Yeah.
And so you just never change it. Yeah.
Yeah. So we were in the times of the half jerseys too and stuff like that.
Yeah. Show the abs.
Ezekiel Elliott before Ezekiel. Yeah.
Right. Right.
Yeah. Lorenzo, I wanted to do a quick run through because you played for so many teams.
Obviously, Mike played just for the Bucs, but you played for so many teams. You had so many different coaches.
So I wanted to list all the coaches and give me something about all these guys because there's football guys through and through on your coach list. So you start with Jim Mora.
Can you also tell me as a side, what was the locker room like after the famous diddly-poo soundbite? Jim Moore was unbelievable. I remember he called me in, broke my ankle.
Believe it or not, I was leading the league in rushing the first two games. That was just two games, Mike.
And averaging about 10 yards of tote. And I remember breaking the ankle, and he's like, look, you know, you were good, but you came back the next year.
you just got to concentrate being a fullback you can make a good living doing this you can play some years just let it go so I remember sitting down with him and going over that and then shoot two years later we're in a team meeting and we just lost and we were on we were the ain'ts that's when we became the ain'ts and I had Sam Mills Ricky Jackson so I got brought up brought up at baptism by fire. Those guys would try to kill me at practice.
Shoot, Ricky Jackson brought a knife one day. I was scared of him.
Called him dad. He called my mom to come stay with me for two weeks.
But Jim Moore, we're in the freaking team meeting Monday after the game and he stands up and he said, guys, I'm not having fun. I'm done.
Walks out in the room. I was there when Jim Moore quit, walked out of the room, just had a breakdown, and just quit.
Think about 53 other guys in a room, and your head coach comes up on a Monday, and the whole team meeting talks for a bit, and exits stage left and walks out. Damn, what happened? Yeah, that's a cliffhanger.
That's a tease. Yeah.
I can't tell you. Damn.
All right, so then Parcells in New York. Huckin' and Buckin'.
Parcells, that's his face. Huckin' and Buckin'.
Hey, Neil. Hey, Neil.
Hey, Lorenzo. Hey, come on.
And the guys would fight at practice. Yeah, you guys stopped fighting.
One of you is scared, another one is glad of it. I mean, love Bill Parcells.
Okay. We talked about Dungy.
You had Jeff Fisher in Nashville. Hey, man, how are you guys doing? You know what? We can get this together.
Hey, Eddie, we're going to run the ball. Hey, Steve, you got it.
Hey, guys, we got this. You know Jeff, soft-spoken Jeff Fisher.
You know, smooth. Right, right.
Dick LeBeau in Cincinnati. I love Dick.
All-time football guy. Clip that, Hank.
Yeah. Oh, whoops.
I mean, Dick LeBeau. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no. That's fine.
You got it. That's fine.
You got this. You're good, dude.
You're good. We actually just got him.
He's like, I love this. We just got him.
Yeah, yeah. You got that? Yeah got him.
We're a sex-positive podcast. It's fine.
Love is love. He would come into camp, and he would come in a Superman outfit and a Speedo.
That's why I love Dick. Just to get guys going.
He was one of the... I feel like Dick LeBeau has always been 90 years old.
Coach LeBeau. He's 70-something years old, and he's still able to get the defense.
He was way up. Get up.
I mean, think about it. Yeah, and then Marty Schottenheimer last at the Chargers.
Guys, we got it. I mean, he would cry more than.
That's a football guy move, though. As long as you, like Dick Vermeule, same way.
Oh, him and Dick Vermeule. I don't know who cried more.
The team would start crying. We didn't know what we were crying about.
Marty cried so much, we don't start crying. But he's crying about football.
Yes. So then it works.
Love Marty Schoenheimer. Chargers should have never got rid of him.
Marty Schoenheimer really, really built that place. He got a bad deal in San Diego and a bad deal in D.C.
too when he took them back from, I think they were 0-5 and they finished the season 8-3 on a tear. And then he goes out to San Diego and they they fired him when he went what? 14-2.
14-2. 14-2, they fired him.
That's nuts. It was nuts.
He broke up a dynasty. What was it? Well, you have to.
Well, I'm a little too soon. What was it about those teams, though, not being able to get over the humps? Because those Chargers teams were fantastic and just couldn't finish the deal just beat the the the team that we just knew was just us we just beat the friggin the colts they were undefeated 13 and oh we go in there beat them we have a bye we're going to play the patriots we patriots we have beat go look at the tape lt has door near 100 yards character ball 15 12 times in the first half touches it four in a second.
We're winning that game. Ron McCree catches an interception with four minutes left.
He tries to run it back. We're winning.
Just fall down. And he tries to run it back, and he fumbles it back.
And gave them the ball back, and we lose that game. That year was just, we were sick.
We were sick. That's a year that the Colts end up winning the Super Bowl.
We had their number. That's one.
The following year, we go back to the FC Championship. I'm just coming off.
I broke my leg. We didn't play in that game.
LT was coming off a knee injury. Michael Turner.
So we were just. What year was this? Phil Rivers had his ACL.
Phil ACL. So we just.
Played with an ACL. Played with it.
What year was this? You're on it. Yeah, it was crazy.
2005, 2006. So we had.
Those years, it was just unfortunate. The football gods just didn't like us.
So in that same backfield, it was you, Michael Turner, LT, and Darren Sproles. And Darren Sproles.
That's crazy. Crazy.
There was also – I saw something online a couple weeks ago that was basically like the greatest team to never make the playoffs. And it was, I think, maybe the 2004 Chargers.
It was later. It was like 2011.
They had by far the best offense and the best defense. But you guys were awesome in those early years.
Did you ever hear your quarterback? Phillip. And Breezy.
Breezy. Is that the year he got hurt? Yeah, one year he got hurt, and then Phillip.
You ever hear Phillip Rivers cuss? Never. Phillip does not cuss.
Gosh darn it. He's just he's just always just a good old country boy.
Gracious to Pete is what I hear he says a lot of. He does not cuss.
The guy is crazy. All he is is a baby making machine.
He's on number nine. I just saw him last week.
I'm like, you're going to have ten? He said, I'm thinking about it. I said, give mama.
Let her come up for air every now and then, Philip. What's the huddle like when you're down in the fourth quarter with Phil Rivers? He just starts screaming, God, just get lined up.

He's so animated.

Sometimes he seems like he's going to pass out because he's just going.

He's so animated and he wants to win.

And he's just a gunslinger, man.

He's a gunslinger.

He has so much heart, pizzazz.

And I was lucky to play with both of them, him and Breeze, a.k.a. Breezes.

I remember Drew was in the huddle when we were playing the Chicago Bears bears and marty said hey we got gonna give you one more series and i got the call from aj they're gonna go with the young guy and i was with breeze i said man just freaking leave i said quit looking over your shoulders and freaking go and do what we know you can do guys believe you so let's go and he goes out and freaking come back we beat chicago he holds it down to starter that whole time and at that moment you don't think anything and then you know, he comes out with the book and he mentions out and freaking come back. We beat Chicago.
He holds it down to starter that whole time, and at that moment you don't think anything, and then he comes out with the book, and he mentions that particular moment. You just never know that anything you say, sometimes guys take notice.
That's awesome. Was there a change that you had to make in your game depending on who you were blocking for, the different styles of running back? Because you guys blocked for some of the great ones.
Yeah, guys like Corey Dillon, you need to hurry up and make the block right away and try to go and just get them and just move them right away because he wants to get it. Corey Dillon, frigging or not, he'll run into you.
Eddie George, you wanted to make sure too. LaDainian, you just got in front of him.
Hell, you could fall down on his – when he broke the record, hell, he was running 70 toss. I fall down.
Safety's right there. He makes him miss.
Still gets an end zone. Makes me look good.
So certain guys just had such unique ability. There's a different running back.
There's a slow to go guy and there's a guy that's gonna hit the hole. You know what I mean? So you gotta get in the hole.
Mike, did you have a strategy to make sure that work done got tackled inside the two so that you could get his touchdown? I'm the vulture. You're lucky that fantasy football wasn't that big back then.
People would have hated you. You would have been public in the number one.
Take on that? Look it up. I'm a touchdown vulture.
Wark was sitting there talking about that. Yes, you were.
You're the original vulture, for sure. I had a a question for you mike the today's nfl it's always interesting to see guys are now asking to be traded saying they want new deals you had famously warren sap in 2003 who always would say if anyone needs a you know defensive lineman come come call me and essentially like looking for a new deal What does that do to a locker room when that happens? Well, it wasn't that – if that happened, I never heard about it.
You know what I mean? At the time. It wasn't like publicized.
There was no social media going all over. People weren't tweeting it and doing what they do now and talking behind their phones and their social media as the players do now.
Right. I mean, it's more, say, hey, going up to the coach and talking about it.
But, you know, I really never experienced that too much, you know what I mean? Because, again, we kept our group of core, you know, for, geez, eight, ten years, you know what I mean? Until they did, you know, didn't sign up Lynchie because he had a neck situation and then he went and played on for Denver and the Patriots for, what, four or five more years and killed it, right? And then he had Sapp take off. But the main guys pretty much stayed there pretty much the whole time.
So it wasn't really ever a distraction in our locker room because we controlled our locker room so well. You know what I mean? And it was more hard.
It was more, and Lo Neal knows, it was harder for a player to come in

and play our type of football and be a part of our internal team

than it was for us to go out.

You know what I mean?

The locker room was just freaking unbelievable.

We solid, if you talk about.

And we controlled it.

The coach didn't have to get involved.

We had our private meetings when we didn't do things the way it should have been done and and uh you know ronda was part of that core two group two you know what i mean and uh some other guys and like i said you know in our day with the bucks everybody knew the role and everybody took it you know very serious what about you uh lox you were in so many different yeah i was gonna say i was gonna ask that different perspective a different perspective it did definitely different perspective uh shoot where do you start i mean i was with the saints and it was totally different i mean i had guys that you know i came in in 93 and frank warren's outside smoke it's 120 degrees i'm like hey we got practice an hour don't worry shut up get out of here i mean these guys the dome patrol it was just a different era of football i mean these guys were just the weights they didn't care about weights they about weights. They just go out and just go dominate.
And I'm like, wow, you guys don't lift. And it's just it was totally a different era.
And then from Cincinnati that, you know, Dick was a great coach. But, you know, you had guys didn't want to win, didn't care anything about winning, didn't care anything about it.
It's just their stats and getting paid. You know, San Diego was a great place where Marty had the culture.
Tennessee was great with Jeff Fisher, and guys kind of policed themselves. But seeing so many different personalities, and you see, you know, when Norv came to San Diego, you knew that he wasn't a leader necessarily, a man, a phenomenal offensive coordinator.
But guys knew that they could do whatever. He wasn't going to say anything, and you start to see the team just kind of start to dwindle because, in fact, he just put it on the players.

Certain teams and certain guys, especially in certain areas,

you can't do that because men need to have discipline.

They need to have structure in their lives.

How quickly into a game would you know that you were about to take somebody's soul,

like that they didn't want to hit you anymore?

You know, I'm thinking back on some uh individual games um you know it's just especially early in my career we had you know we needed the running game right we we had the defense and we're going to win either six to three or nine to six or whatever because we had we had the defense and we really't have both sides of the attack. We didn't have the pass.
Big 10 football. Yeah, no question.
We needed to pound the ball, especially – he was talking about the Minnesota game in 1998, right? And they're coming in 7-0, and we're in 3-4, and they're coming to our house. They're on all high, and we needed – It was a must win for us.
And it was whoever was going to punt was going to lose. But, you know, we were just pounding the ball, right? Pounding it.
And they did not want us. They knew we were running 96-power row down their throat, and we were going to do it each and every time, right? And, again, you feel it.
You feel that energy. You feel that, you know, they don't want it, and they're going to step back.
You know, when Lowe comes and blocks them,

and I'm coming in the hole, or vice versa, you know what I mean?

You can, no question you can feel that sensation of what they're going to,

you know, how they're feeling right now.

And they wouldn't want to tackle him.

We were playing that game, and I was going downhill, and Rudd,

Rudd started jumping out of the way.

So you know you're getting ready to block him, and it's just you and that guy in the hole. You can see the whites of his eyes and just opens up.
And you're like, here we go. And all of a sudden, he'll fall down or he'll try to take an angle, try to slip you and try to get by you.
Like, all right, they don't want anymore. And you see guys trying to tackle him, jump on his back or jump to the side.
So you start to see the way that they try to take you on. You just don't see the physical aspect of the game anymore.
You know what I mean? You don't see that aspect of coming straight downhill. We're going to run between the tackles, and here we come.
Stop us. You know what I mean? And stop us.
And we're going to pose our will on you. You just don't see it anymore.
It's more trick or docker doc. What trick plays are you going to do, and how are we going to do it and stuff like that.
That's more you see nowadays. Yeah.
So I'd have to imagine the famous Warren Sapp versus Mike Sherman when he said put a jersey on. Did you guys just repeat that all the time in the locker room? Because it's one of my favorite lines of all time.
And it wasn't pre-social media, so it didn't go viral the same way. But I remember watching that game and Warren Sapp just yelling at him, put a jersey on, put a jersey on, because he was mad about a dirty hit.
Did that become – With Chad Clifton. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he lit him up.
On the interception run back. Yes, yeah, yeah.
Put a jersey on. Oh, Sapp hitting pretty good? Yeah, real good.
He did the whole crack back type of thing. Yeah, and Mike Sherman came up to him after.
I think Shelton Quarles was taking him back to the house. And Mike Sherman came up to him after in the postgame and was yelling at him saying it was dirty.
And Sap was just saying, put a jersey on. Put a jersey on.
Put a jersey on. Put a jersey on.
Put a jersey on. Put a jersey on.
Put a jersey on. I fucking love the put a jersey on.
It's just fun to say. You just tell people, like, hey, put a jersey on.
Put a jersey on, bro. You want to do this? No, I don't think there's any repeat.
I don't know. Maybe the defense a lot.
All right, so I did. The defensive guys really controlled the locker room.
Yeah. You know what I mean? When it came to the clowning around and all the talk, you know what I mean? Yeah.
I mean, you could hear them coming from a mile down the hallway. You know what I mean? And just on each other.
I mean, they would get so freaking personal on each other, and it would start some wars.

I'm telling you that right now.

I'd imagine with Warren Sapp, he has that effect on people.

Yeah, he'll get you.

But, you know, and again, Warren's the type of guy that, you know,

he's in your corner, though.

I mean, he's going to come to battle with you.

You know what I mean?

I mean, don't get me wrong.

He's going to stir the pot.

But, again, he's going to be right next to you in that battle on that field.

Yeah.

If there's one guy playing the game right now that you look at and you say this guy could have been a fullback in the mid to late 90s, early 2000s, back when you guys were running people over, who is it? Who's that guy right now? You know, truthfully. Say nobody.
Please say nobody. No, no, no no I don't watch the game enough right I really don't you know I mean I'll go through I love watching red zone going back and forth and and doing that where I'll be at the at the box games and stuff like that but um I'm like so into my high school football you know what I mean I'm like so crazy about it and trying to get my own kids prepared and stuff like that.
I'm not really a guy who got stats. I don't do fantasy football.
I don't do any of that stuff. I'm just all about either way.
No, we don't. Hank does.
Yeah, for nerds. No, I agree.
We play real football, Madden. I just don't know all the players in today's game like we used to know back in the day.
You know what I mean? It seems like everybody's moving, shaking, leaving, coming, going, and everything like that. You know what I mean? I don't know.
I don't know if you know. You're on radio.
Yeah, you're on radio. Is there a fullback that jumps out to you right now? I think you've got to look at Cal Huszczyk.
They have him cutting defensive linemen. He's running on, he's blocking safeties.
He's catching the ball.

He'll do bend back plays. They'll do power.

They line him up and he... Is he more of an H-back though? You know what?

No, because actually,

if you can, watch the last game against the

Steelers. He was the point of attack.

They would do the rap play

where he's lined up on the defensive end.

They would wham where he's whamming

the three technique. He's playing full back, getting downhill.
First play of the game, he comes at the on a defensive end. They would wham where he's whamming the three technique.

He's playing fullback, getting downhill.

First play of the game, he comes at the inside linebacker and drives him five yards down the foot and pancakes him.

So I like what he's doing.

There's another guy on the Niners that I love, Quan Alexander.

Watch the way that he plays.

He was in Tampa.

This backer, he'll hit you.

He's not afraid.

He loves contact.

There are some guys that still play the game. You're talking either side of the ball.
Yeah, either side of the ball. I know about it.
Yeah, he'll get after it. So there are some guys out there that love contact, that aren't afraid of contact, that still want to hit guys.
But he was talking about fullbacks. I just love who you shake brain to the game.
So he's leading the league right now in fullback assists. It is a stat that we came up with, which you guys didn't have back when you played.

What is that?

Yeah, tell us that stat.

I'd love to hear about this one.

I'd love to tell you about it.

So we figured that there's all these stats out here for receivers,

for running backs, quarterbacks.

For a fullback, you don't really have anything that shows up

at the end of the day if you did a good job,

if you helped out on a touchdown.

So we came up with a stat inside the five-yard line, a rush that's five yards or shorter. If there's a fullback that's in the backfield that makes a block on a rushing touchdown, they get an assist.
So it counts as a fullback assist. Can you go on it in my 12 years and go back to my...
Yeah, we'll do that. We'll have our stats department get on it.
I'd actually like to know who the all-time leader in fullback assist is. I know last year it was Roosevelt-Knicks during the regular season for Pittsburgh, but then Devlin had like seven in the playoffs.
So if you don't count the playoffs, it was Knicks. If you count the playoffs, it was definitely Devlin.
But right now, Juszczyk has, I think, four. Can you get us the film? How do you patent it? Yes, right now, consider it patent.
Can you get us the film? That's the problem is we don't have all the Bucs films. The NFL films.
The archives. You get it for us? Yeah, no problem.
We should have Stephen Che. Yeah, we absolutely have a guy.
You got people. We have a Bucs guy.
We have a super fan who he breaks down film for the Bucs by himself. Like, he's just a weirdo.
But, yeah, he will watch every play. He is.
I mean, he's doing it as like a hobby. He has like 5,000 followers.
I mean, I'd like to know between the two of you who had them. I think it might be low.
No, no question, because I was dotting the eye. You were scoring him.
Yeah, yeah. You were scoring him.
Like I said, dotting the eye. Yeah.
Hell yeah. He was crushing people.
He was crushing people. He was crushing people.
He was crushing people. He was crushing people.
Exactly. I was following him.
There's no question about it. Yeah.
I just had an idea to help you guys get in the Hall of Fame. I like the idea of the fullback position being inducted.
Yeah, just the whole position. So the key to winning over the hearts and minds of sports writers is to somehow get Bruce Springsteen involved, because they all fucking love Bruce Springsteen.
If we could get Bruce to write a song about a fullback. That'd be awesome.
Yeah, that would be cool. That's up at Bruce's alley.
He writes a song song about factory workers. Call him up.
He's on your speed dial, right? Yeah, don't you have me speed dial? Yeah, we could... I'm sure we know somebody...
Peter King knows Bruce. Yeah, yeah.
He's a good friend of ours. For sure.
Or I can just... Yeah, I can write the song and then send it to Bruce and ask him to record it.
Yeah, just please. Can you give us a couple...
You know you'll get five cents right on this plate, right? It'll be called Low Man Wins. How about that?

Oh, my goodness.

Low Man Wins.

Are you guys now going to be part of our panel for our yearly trophy?

Because you snubbed us last year.

We gave out the Low Man Trophy to the best fullback in college.

Both of you guys.

The trophy is just a tire.

Yeah, it's a tire with a beer can nailed into it.

And I think PFT reached out to you, Low, last year to be on the panel,

and you said no.

Fun.

No, no, no, no.

Make sure to subscribe to our channel. Yeah, it's a tire with a can with a beer can nailed into it.
And I think PFT reached out to you, Lo, last year to be on the panel, and you said no. Fun.
No, no, no, no. Are you serious? I'm pretty sure I tweeted at you at some point.
Mike, you don't have social media, so you're tougher. It goes back to that fun comment.
You'll be part of the voters. We would absolutely love to.
You know what the thing about it is? We'll get all, we, Mike and I, we'll get all the fullbacks. We'll get you guys a bunch

of fullbacks to vote for. Yes.
Done.

Alright, so right now, we've got,

we have actually, I think when Lowe said

that, he was like, he's gonna actually

kidnap the fullbacks and bring them to us.

Yeah, pick them up like their fullbacks.

He's gonna show up with just a

fucking truck full of fullbacks. Just me and Mike.

Just call me. I won't see your tweet.

Just call me. You's going to show up with just a fucking truck full of fullbacks.
Just call me. I won't see your tweet.
Just call me. You're going to pick up our greased-up John Kuhn and drop him off at our doorstep.
You're in. Right now we've got you two, Anthony Sherman, John Kuhn.
Who else am I missing out on? A lot of people. Danny Vitale.
Danny Vitale. Danny.
Tom Fernelli, a.k.a. Hank.

Hey, you will have a 40 jersey.

Votter Leach is on there.

I want it hung up right up there.

You understand?

I want it up on that top shelf.

Oh, there it is.

We got your jersey.

We got Sherman.

You need a real jersey.

You don't need it.

And then that's my jersey because I'm a fullback in rugby.

We need Lorenzo Neal's all of them.

A lot of people compare me to you guys.

All of them.

Is that that soccer league?

What is it? No, it's rugby. So I play rugby.
I used to play fullback, not to brag, but a lot of people compare me to you guys all of them um all right I have one soccer league what is it no it's rugby so I play rugby I play I used to play fullback not to brag but a lot of people said that I know I play like you in the scrum and stuff like that I'm around I'm around the scrum I'm scrum adjacent yeah yeah I'm nearby the guy that they toss the ball I'm the guy that that they point at and then run over they're like that that's my bitch. And then I wind up on my back.

All right, I have one last question.

It's a SeatGeek question.

Put in promo code, take you $10 off SeatGeek.

How many times, you guys, who's going to win this bench off?

Oh, not me, him.

Come on.

It's only 135?

135, yeah.

A couple plates.

Who's going to, what numbers are we putting up?

What do we think?

What's a fair number?

We're not going to try to get injured, but what do we think we're going to put up? I'm already injured. I'm on IR.
Oh, come on. What, do you got a shoulder, a labrum? I do.
I do have a couple bulging discs in my neck that's making my delts. Don't you got rods? I got some nerve damage going into my shoulder.
I'm on it. I'm on it.
Okay. I'm on it.
Big Cat got the five dollars. Nerve damage.
Damn, that sounds so... I fucking stubbed my toe the other day.
Me and Big Cat. All right? Me and Big Cat.
Yeah. Okay.
My arms are too long. Mike is still...
That's my problem. Mike is still pissed off about the Purdue comment.
Yeah, I mean, that was a funny joke, but you had such little fun that you didn't even understand the joke. Ooh.
Yeah. You and 75.
All right. I have a long going.
I went to the University of Wisconsin,

so I have a long going thing with Purdue,

and people get very mad about that, but it's a funny joke.

So you went like a decade after me, right?

Yeah, 2003 to 2007.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, so when Purdue – well, no, you guys never have been really good, so.

I had 205 yards against Washington.

Ooh, Wisconsin.

Wisconsin, Wisconsin.

That was a pretty good day.

I'd take that. 207? What year was that? 205.
94. 95, excuse me.
95. Okay, yeah, yeah.
95. That's pretty sick.
That is Big Ten football through and through. No, it is.
There's nothing better than Big Ten football. Yeah.
That's all you should do in Big Ten. Michael Alstott and Neil Armstrong.
That's all you think about when you think about Purdue, right? Yes. You got Drew.
Oh, yeah. Drew Brees.
That's true. And then you have Robbie Hummel.
How about Rod Woodson? Rod Woodson. Yeah.
And then you got quarterback. You got Junior.
Yeah. You got Junior coming out.
Is it Lorenzo Neal Jr.? Yeah. Fuck yes.
What position is he playing? T-Tackle. Thank God you did that because Lorenzo's maybe the coolest name of all time.
You know he's like. – he was in a pre-draft, I would say, preseason pre-draft.
15? Yeah. Okay.
I love it. Damn.
The world needs another Lorenzo O'Neal. I mean, it is the coolest thing.
Lorenzo O'Neal, O'Neal. No, you don't understand.
It is the coolest thing having kids succeed after you, and it's the most nerve-wracking thing, though. I'm a father, so yeah, I know.
I mean, it's the most nerve-wracking thing. He's only three months old I know I mean it's only three months old I gotta see your kid thank you I got a dog when you see your kid he breaks news such great things you know I'm getting goosebumps on it right now yeah me too you have no control but you're scared you're scared shitless I mean you really are my kid puked on me the other day it was fucking awesome dude it's like dude good job son yeah yeah Good job.
You didn't. I puked back on him.
Yeah. No, it was like a father-son bonding.

Did he rally?

No, I puked. I puked back on him.
Yeah. No, it was like a father-son bonding thing.
Did he rally? No, I puked all over his face. Went right back to the milk.
Yeah, we were like, dude, bro. Go back to the milk.
Go back to the milk. All right, let's do this bench press thing here.
Yes. Thank you, guys.
This has been so awesome. Pull back Friday.
Yeah. And you're on the committee now, and we're going to get you in the Hall of Fame.
A lot of stuff. A lot of follow-up here.
I'm excited about the committee, me and you. You're up first.
On bench? Yeah. Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on.
Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me.
Not a big deal. Pink Whitney? That's what I thought.
See you, fellas. I invented the thing, you pigeon.
Pink Whitney for legendary moments. Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office.
It's officially mini skort season, and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in. Their Scarlet Mini is a classic.
It's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans. And I'm excited to style their new Sienna skort.
It's a little more flirty, and it's perfect for a date night. Make plans to go out in Abercrombie.
Shop their newest arrivals in-store and online. Before we get to segments, I want to say something real quick.
Jevin Sneed, the former quarterback, he played at University of Texas. He was an Austin guy for a while.
He was a great college quarterback. He passed away last weekend.
Unfortunately, he was also a listener, part of my take. And one of his friends hit me up and let me know about this.
And they have a GoFundMe going. So Jevin dealt with some concussion issues throughout his career and his family's putting together a fund that is, they're going to donate a lot of money to CTE Research.
And they're also going to buy really safe helmets for his high school football team that he played on. So there's a GoFundMe out there.
It's the Jevon Sneed Memorial Fund GoFundMe. So check it out.
If that's something that you're inclined to donate to, I would appreciate it. And I'm sure his family would, too.
So go check that out. Okay, let's get to some segments.
First up, we have Firefest of the Week. Yes.
Yes. Hank, your Firefest of the Week.
My Firefest of the Week is this Grape Ape that Stu Finer gave me. Came for a Barstool Sports.
Is that what's Grape Ape? Gave me a slice of some Grape Ape. Pizza? Hot Leaf.
Oh. Oh, tea.
And it was some absolute fire, and I had myself a nice little Firefest courtesy of Stu. Wait, so your Firefest was good? Yeah, he gave me some fire.
This is like when PFT picked the Vikings as done. He gave me some fire bud and I had a fire fest.
Oh, so you're high right now. No, this was after hours.
Hank, do we have to start giving you sobriety tests? I didn't know we had Chris Long as our fucking producer. Yeah, it's disgusting, Hank.
There are kids that listen to this show. You're probably giving them a contact high right now.
Only at night. Your dad listens to this show.
Yeah. We're taping this at night, Hank.
He supports the fire. Does Mr.
Lockwood know about the Purple Kush? Oh, he knows. Actually, if everybody got down with a great vape, then Taco Bell would see a significant uptick in sales.
True. True.
Not that we're condoning it. No, we're not.
All right. PFT.
Go on. My fire fest of the week is legal.
Who the fuck? Yeah. Well, not on a federal level.
Yeah. Whatever.
I can still turn you in. Those laws.
I'll go to Kashi six nine on your ass. So fast.
Stupid. So my fire fest is the store for guys five, 10 and under.
That's actually the name of the store is for men. Five, 10 and under is opening this this weekend and they fucking had the nerve to tag you to send me yeah dm inviting me to the grand opening yeah to help promote their fucking store good you should go no i thought it was gonna be i know the nba is making everyone a list they're really so high to them right now there's that and you can't be in the nba now and lie that you're 5'10", or whatever you say that you are.
I'm calling for a man-cott. You're 5'8".
Not a boycott. A man-cott of the 5'10 and under store.
Don't you dare promote that opening of that store. Well, number one.
Number one. The best part is PFT is getting paid on the side now to be under 5'10".
This is all a ruse. Well, I know I'm under 5'.
It's just a very... He sent a DM and he's mad about it, but you can check it out at these locations.
No, don't. Don't.
Don't do it. First of all, it's insulting that they called it 5'10 and under.
Like, 5'10, you're basically a giant at that point. In many countries, you are a giant if you're 5'10".
It just seems like a very arbitrary number. And secondly, I prefer my size stores to indicate whether or not it's meant for a casual male.
I don't know if the store is for a casual male. It was casual.
Mail Excel tells you that you can be casual and a man and shop there. I don't want this store.
What is it? Is it formal? Is it for formal boys? I don't know. I don't want to bash one of your advertisers, PFT, but five, five, 10 and under is kind of stupid from them because five, 10 is the height that every guy who's lying about their height, who's 5'7, 5'8, 5'9 says they are.
I'm 5'10 and a half. So you look at that and you're like, I'm not that.
They should have been like 5'8 and they would have gotten all the honest short guys like yourself to go in. You don't want those customers.
We will steal from you. Bagel boss greets you.
Absolutely. you know he's passing this is bullshit maybe he's passing the ball here's the other thing about that store is they should it's embarrassing to be walking into that store they should label it something that's less embarrassing that you would not be like a snuff film store they should also much rather be caught like on camera walking into a store that sells exclusively stepmother porn than going into a store that says 510 and under.

The door also has to be 510.

Exactly.

So, yeah, it bumps everyone, and it's got razors on it, so it cuts you.

And then it's a bunch of dudes walking in with their tippy-toes

trying to hit their head and be like, oh, shit.

If you try to steal valor, you get sliced open.

It would be so cute, too, because it should be 510, Hank,

and then we should put a little hoop there so that they can finally dunk. And they're just like, ooh, yeah.
I did dunk. I dunked.
I did dunk. Okay, next up we have...
Wait, what's your Firefest? My Firefest. Sheesh.
My bad, my bad, my bad. No name, no Firefest? It's a continuation of my Firefest last week.
I stole something from Starbucks. I stole a Frappuccino, and I didn't get the satisfaction that I thought I would get.

How did you do it?

I did the mobile order steal.

I walked in, and I just took the Frappuccino that looked like it had the most melted whipped cream.

Yeah.

And I took it.

Well, what's nice about that-

I tried it, and I was like, you know what?

This didn't give me the thrill I wanted, so it kind of sucks, because I thought stealing from the mobile order section would be awesome.

It wasn't.

You did steal from the man, which is nice.

Correct.

You stole from Howard Schultz.

Congratulations on that.

Got him.

Also, if you place your order for just like an iced coffee black then the calories that you stole don't count because you ordered an iced coffee you didn't order the frappuccino so good for you no i ordered an iced coffee i picked up an iced coffee and a frappuccino oh yeah that doesn't count doesn't count either. Yeah, you didn't pay for it.
So I paid for half of my order. Yeah, good for you.
And I stole the other half. Yeah.
So that was fine. I think that's fine.
Yeah. They have margins built into these products for that reason.
I wanted to do it just to feel like I was alive. And the one I stole, the whipped cream was so melted that there's no chance anyone was picking that up.
It had been there for at least 20 minutes. So I was doing them a service so that they didn't have the confusion like, is this your drink? Is this your drink? Is this your drink? Also, having a dilapidated looking product just sitting out there is not good for business for Starbucks.
Right. People walk in and you're like, is that what I'm going to be getting? Right.
It's like when I was a kid, my dad, when he'd take me to the grocery store sometimes, when he wasn't buying me cornflakes, he would take me to the cookie aisle, You know, like the open bins of cookies that you could take them out with like a spore or what is called? The pincers. Yep.
So there'd be fresh baked cookies at the bakery. Yep.
Right. And he would say, if there's a broken cookie, you can take it for free because they can't sell.
That's a rule. And so I would take a cookie and then sometimes I go and I'd start breaking them myself no broken cookies.
Badass. And then that was quite a thrill.
I would love to do a podcast with your dad just about him going to the grocery store. Yeah.
He's a thrifty guy. Do supermarket sweepstakes with him.
Yeah. He would recreate it.
This was the We All Broke the Law Fire Fest. Hank did weed.
I stole a drink. PFT lied about his height legally.

This is a big time. But if I

did that on Tinder, it would be against the law.

Fyre Fest was all criminal.

It's a criminal organization. Guess who's back to bad boys of podcasting.

Bad boys, bad boys.

Alright, let's do a couple more segments.

Doug Gottlieb.

Doug Gottlieb

probably took his pants off when I started explaining what I did at Starbucks. Stay classy, D.C.
Washington, D.C., that is, because Bryce Harper got heckled, and his kid got heckled. So they heckled Crew.
Who would ever heckle Bryce Harper's kid with a weird name? Damn. We would never do such a thing.
Crew's a great name. favorite no it's not okay my favorite uh quote from it was his wife was like when you bring he she said she tweeted when you bring his son or family into it yes you're crossing a line stick to your overused overrated and harper sucks chance if you're really that loser that goes to a game to heckle someone philly fans might boo him but they don't bring his four weeks son into.
You sure about that? You got another 12 years? I think you're kind of putting it on. You can't challenge Philly like that.
They literally are like, what? We'll fucking do that. I'll boo your fucking infant.
Yeah, we'll say crew sucks. Yeah, that little shithead kid.
Dare me, dare me. I'll say something about him.
I think it's kind of a bad sports town thing for Washington, D.C. Yeah.
Because when you read the update to it, it wasn't a D.C. sports fan that did it.
It was a Boston sports fan that was on the road in D.C. that booed him and said this stuff about his kid and then apologized publicly for it.
So Washington sports fans are on the hot seat for not having the balls to go after his kid. Got it.
Yeah. But, I mean, as a great sports town with Capitals, the Mystics, the Nats, Natitude is back.
We demand a lot from our professional teams in Washington, D.C. Big-time Natitude coming up.
I also have a quick way to stay relevant, baseball. Did you see this? Everyone's mad about Mike Miner getting his 200th strikeout.
So Mike Miner, who was a starting pitcher, got injured for a few years, struggled back. He, in the ninth inning of his last start today, or appearance, he threw the ball, pop up, told his first baseman, drop the pop up so he can strike the guy out.
It was a foul, foul ball. He dropped the ball on purpose.
It's a stray hand situation. Struck the guy out, and people, the old crotchety baseball guys are pissed.
Yeah, Peter Gammons just, like, exploded spontaneously. There are people with guts and gray hair everywhere.
Bush League, embarrassing. Who the fuck cares? It's the 200 strikeout.
It's a personal milestone for the guy who struggled his way back. And then he still struck him out.
He still had to strike him out. If baseball writers were in charge of high school football, they would get so pissed off when they let the equipment manager that might have a disability score a touchdown in the last game of the season.
They would flip the fuck out about that. Speaking of that, good segue.
Larry likes the Chiefs. Oh, Larry likes the Chiefs.
Nice. That was during our ad.
We're still in the ad. You've all been duped.
This has been a huge ad for my 5'9 and under school. Yes.
Speaking of high school football, we have a quick saber metrics for Antonio Brown, who Antonio Brown has gone crazy again. Stop me if you heard this.
He basically quit the NFL last week, and then this week has – or sorry, today has decided the league needs him and he said the game needs me I'm like test dancers I don't understand that he said no more Nikes then he said next week I'm going to practice at every high school one day of week starting in Miami send school and for now yeah that's the Mark Sanchez training plan I looked it up 37 000 high schools in america i think he can i think antonio brown can manage to get kicked out of an alienate every single one of those 37 000 high schools and then he got in a fight with eric weddle yeah on yeah he was going after multiple people on twitter golden tate too yes no one's ever gotten in a fight with golden tate i don't really know what's going on here but uh yeah it feels like someone should take his Twitter away. I feel like, yeah, it's a bad situation that he's in for real.
But you can't stop what's happening. He's just going to continue self-destruct.
But he did have a good idea earlier this week. He tweeted out that, no, he didn't tweet out.
It was an Instagram story of him training and said, USA Rugby, let's do this. So he wants to play rugby for the lads who, by the way, covered against England.
They lost by 48. Don't ask what the...
No, we didn't. We lost by 42.
Oh, wow. That's a win.
Yeah. The only good thing that AB did, though, was when he talked shit to Eric Weddle.
Why are you so negative about USA Rugby? Yeah, they sent us shirts. They listen to this show.
I'm not negative. They're solid Americans.
I like winners. I'm negative.
I mean, I'm the same way with USA Soccer. I want winners.
Okay. All right.
I want winners. They did kind of win in sevens.
When USA Rugby wins, we're in. Okay.
We lost by 42. We lost 45 to seven.
Can't win with them. Want winners.
Can't have it. Okay.
Well, they covered is the big thing. They covered the live line.
They covered the live line. They didn't cover the line.
They covered my line. Yeah.
My own personal pocketbook. By the way, AB, it is nice when you get in a fight with someone on Twitter and then you can actually post pictures of you stiff arming them.
So credit to him on that. He kind of won the Eric Weddle thing when he's just like, hey, here's me just kicking the shit out of him.
I think AB's pissed off that Jalen Ramsey's kind of stealing his swagger. Because every day something's happening with Jalen Ramsey.
The fake pregnancy, is that what you're saying? Well, no, the fake sickness. And now I think he can take paternity leave for as long as he wants.
I also think it's a good move of him not going in when he's sick because being around Tom Coughlin, if he sneezed on him, he would just kill him. Yeah, that's true.
Tom Coughlin's immune system is not tip-top shape.

That's true.

All right, let's finish up with a couple woes,

and then we'll get you to your football weekend.

Fucking love every weekend in the fall.

There's nothing better, you know, by the way,

Saturday night when you finish watching every college football game,

and you're like, still got a whole day to do this again.

I get to run it back.

It's the best.

Let's run it back.

The best.

How come an octagon has eight sides, an octopus has eight tentacles, but October is the 10th month? Wow. That's pretty fucking good.
Whoa. Damn.
In September, that should be seven. Correct.
But it's not. It's nine.
Yeah. And November should be nine.
And DEC should be 10. What the hell is going on with the calendar? Why are we always two months behind? The Zodiac's pregnant.
It's always eight weeks late. You don't really wash your hands.
They actually watch each other while you just stand there and watch. You don't wash your hands? You don't wash your hands.
They wash each other and you just stand there and watch. Fuck.
Yeah, that's true. That is a very high thought.
That is very true, though. Damn.
What about your ass? Do you wipe your ass? Or does your hand watch your other hand wipe your ass? Damn. Whoa.
Damn. You know, like, could your hand ever be like, yo, I don't want to wipe this ass? No, to that's your job do your job your human body is the patriot way can you hear silence I just heard it yeah the sound of silence is a song did you just hear that yeah so the sound of silence is a song right mm-hmm it's Simon and Garfunkel Garfunkel.
Shout out those fucking weirdos. They always looked so weird on their pictures.
Them and Hall and Oates. They're just like, we're just going to take weird-ass pictures.
They're like, who's going to be cool? Who's going to look more like a dad porn star on this album cover? Paul Simon or Daryl Hall? Yeah. If you say beer can in an English accent, it's the same as saying bacon in a Jamaican accent.
a PFT bacon that's pretty awesome bacon a lot of muscle bacon respect damn we'll end with that okay that was great alright we'll enjoy it win go to bet MGM put in code PMT get $500 and let's fucking win let's win you will lose my parlay. You will not lose my parlay of Colts, Chiefs, Rams, Moneyline parlay.
I love you guys. Talking away.
I don't know what to say. I'll say it anyway.

Today is an update to find you shining away.

I'll be coming for your lover, Kate.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take me on.

Take on me. I'll be gone and take me on.
So needless to say, I want to send it. But I'll be stumbling away, slowly learning my mind is okay.
Say after me Thank you. Take me on.
Take me on. I'll be gone.
You don't take me on. All the things that you say, yeah.
Is it life or just a flame that worries away? You're all the things I've got to remember. You show me in a way Thank you.
Take me me. I'll bring you.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.