Chris Bosh, Eli Benched, Big Ben Hurt, And Guys On Chicks

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Today is Wednesday, September 18th, and PFT, all our heroes are dead. This is a tough, tough couple days for us.
Within the span of about 24 hours, we had to deal with the fact that Big Ben is out for the season, getting elbow surgery done. The anesthesiologist is going to come in with some pills inside some peanut butter, put it on the roof of his mouth, and then he'll wake up with a tingly arm again.
And then Eli Manning. Benched.
Our sweet boy. Shermer listened to us.
This might be the end. Yes, he listened to us on Monday saying, hey, are you a bad coach? And he said, you know what? Part of my take's right.
I have to pull the plug on Eli. So that leaves us now with just Phil Rivers and Matt Schaub from the 2004 NFL Draft.
Yeah. It's it.
I mean, these things. They're the torchbearers.
I think Matt Schaub might outlast all of them. These things come in threes, much like the Bears offense.
So I don't know who's going to be next. One and one, buddy.
One and one. I hope Phil Rivers is okay.
I can't bear to lose all three of those guys in the same NFL season. I just can't.
It sucks because Big Ben, as much as we have fun with him and we laugh at him and we talk about the walking boot and that he is a dog yelping every single time he gets you know sacked and says that he's injured even though he's not he actually is injured this time and Big Ben not being in the NFL season is a bummer because Big Ben is always funny and it's always fun to watch even Big Ben in the fourth quarter when you know he can come back and he's always got his team in it now that's gone eli a little different case because eli's been dead for a couple years now yeah but his uh i keep almost saying his retirement his benching for daniel jones is the end of his career i would assume't ever count Eli out, though. Archie Manning pulled the plug at the perfect time, so he's 116 and 116 career record.
So that was a call from Archie to Pat Shermer like, hey, we need my boy to sit down because he can't finish under .500. And now we get the discussion, Eli Manning, Hall of Famer.
Oh, of course. First ballot Hall of Famer.
I don't know if he's first ballot. Yeah, he's got two Super Bowls, two of the greatest Super Bowls, two of the most improbable Super Bowls.
And? Any Super Bowl is a Super Bowl. And? And? A remarkably average career outside of those two.
If you can spend your entire career, how long has he been in the league? He got drafted in what? 2004. 2004.
So he's been in the league for 15 years. If you can go exactly 500 after 15 years of playing football, that's super impressive.
So what? Not just, no, Hank, listen to me. On the dot.
It's the Hall of Fame. On the dot.
Not the Hall of Average. Not just, oh, that's a good point.
It's not the Hall of Very Good. People forget about the hall of very good uh but but if you can keep any job and be perfectly average at it for that long then you're doing something right okay so i obviously think that eli manning is a hall of famer because the super bowl is winning the super bowl is the pinnacle of american sports it's the it's the biggest trophy of all the sports and when you win the Super Bowl, you

are there forever.

That is,

Joe Namath is in the Hall of Fame.

If you look at Joe Namath's stats,

they stink. He won a Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl carries so much

weight that I am totally fine with Eli Manning

definitely being in the Hall of Fame

because of those two runs and they were

incredible runs. The 2011 run, he was out of this world world he went 4-0 both times goes on the road gets the kicked out of him in that San Francisco game ever when uh when Kenny Williams son just fumbled every fucking ball in the rain yep uh the Tom Coughlin red face game yep in Green Bay right so he those runs stand above everything else and I do I am a big believer in like it's kind of the Terrell Davis thing, Terrell Davis.
His peak was so exceptional even though it was short. So Eli's peak was very, very short because it was literally just two playoffs.
But I think it's fair to say he's not a first ballot Hall of Famer because the rest of his career was remarkably average.

I went through it. He never, his best year, 2010, he's never been a top three quarterback in the NFL.
His best year, 2010, he was fourth in touchdowns, fifth in yards, ninth in completion percentage. That's the only time in his career he finished top ten in all three categories.
Yeah, but he won two Super Bowls. He won two Super Bowls.
Every single time you go through, if you go through it, he was almost middle of the pack for everything every single year. He had that 2009 to about 2012, he peaked as a quarterback.
And even in those years, he was not a top three quarterback in the NFL. So I think it's fair to say he's in the hall of fame but a first ballader should should at some point in his career have been the best or close to the best at his position yeah but he won two Super Bowls he won two Super Bowls also Hank you should be the one beating the drum for Eli to be a first ballot hall of famer because that way you can say Tom Brady is only or two out of his three Super Bowl losses, came against a first ballot hall of favor.

So that's good for you in that case.

I guess.

Eli Manning, so we don't understand what QBR is.

No.

No one does.

No.

But what was his highest QBR in a season?

Are we talking about the stat that Archie invented?

Are we talking about the quarterback rating?

Yeah, well, it didn't really work.

Passer rating?

No, QBR.

Or out of 100?

QBR.

89.1. No, no, no.
What did he finish in terms of overall in the league? Oh, against every other quarterback. Yes.
Yeah, 11. Eighth.
Eighth was his peak. He was pretty much like 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, basically every single year.
That's fine. He was right there.
He was, I think, for the majority of Eli Manning's career, he was somewhere between the 8th and 12th best quarterback in the NFL, but he won two Super Bowls, and he had those two runs, and I'm totally fine with those carrying more water than everything else, more weight, sorry, than everything else, but I think it's okay to say he's not first ballot. Also, we don't know who's going to retire this year.
That's going to make a difference is like what other Hall of Famers is he going to be running up against?

By the way, I want to put this out there.

Lorenzo Neal, eligible for

the Hall of Fame. Go vote for Lorenzo Neal

right now. It's been like 10,

15 years since we've had a real fullback get in.

Lorenzo Neal should fucking be

in the Hall of Fame. We need to make it happen.

I want him in the Hall of Fame. I want to get that out there.

But also, it depends on who

retires this year. If Peyton Manning had any

semblance of the moment,

he would come back for this year

Thank you. happen I want him in the Hall of Fame I want to get that out there but also if so it depends on who retires this year Peyton Manning had any any semblance of the moment he would come back for for this year just so that he could cuck his brother one last time are they going together yeah that'd be Archie would definitely make that happen yeah because here's the thing Peyton Manning who would speak last oh they should just they should speak simultaneously oh who would speak last have all three of them maybe Cooper just does his bits Cooper intros both of them.
Rob Riggle and Cooper up there. So assuming Eli doesn't retire, because there's a chance that he doesn't retire.
Yeah, there is a chance. And also, I love this every team.
I've seen this a lot on Twitter, and I've been throwing it in as a joke, but I think there are actually some people who think that Eli Manning would help their team right now. There are probably a couple teams in the league.
Have those people watched football in the last two years? There are a couple teams. It hasn't aged gracefully.
Have you seen the quarterbacks that are in the league right now? I still... Eli probably could.
Maybe the Jets. What I'm really looking forward to, though, is for the rest of the year, we're going to get something that we've never gotten from Eli.
We're going to get sideline Eli. Yep.
Sideline Eli is going to be a lot of fun to watch. He's going to be...
Do you think he's going to go full headset? I think he's going to have just the one earpiece in so he can listen to the play calls. Or maybe he'll just have a book on tape of the alphabet.
You know what the good news is, though? Sideline Eli, still a game-worn jersey. That's true.
He can still sell that jersey. Keep that merch going.
He can still get that going. I want Eli to be the guy that's sending in the signals from above.
You know how they have one guy doing the fake signals and one guy doing the real one? I want to see what Eli would do if you said, okay, do a fake signal out there for this play. He'd just do the fake, I got your thumb, my thumb's off.
Oh, took your nose. He pulls a quarter out of his ear.
Rubbing my belly. And tapping my head at the same time.
Yeah, well, I'm excited to see what he does, but I actually think he's going to come. He's going to play again this year.
Daniel Jones is going to get hurt. And Eli May is going to come in and win the Giants a meaningless game.
Week six. That fucks them.
Against the Patriots. Oh.
So here's where, Hank. You know, I said they're going to have one meaningless random loss in midseason.
Like once I saw that they're playing the Giants. For your 18-1 proclamation that means they're going to lose the Super Bowl? Nope.
They're going to lose a regular season game. We should revisit, by the way, Monday.
People were correcting us. Yes.
Yeah. People were correcting us.
Do you want to talk about that? Hank, do you want to talk about Gostkowski? Sucking in Miami? I thought you guys were doing a bit. When I listened to it back, I was like, oh, that was dumb.
And then I was like, I thought you guys were running. No.
Oh, yeah. No, we were doing a bit.
Yeah, we knew. It was a bit.
It was a bit. So Gostkowski sucks in Miami.
The Super Bowl, unfortunately, is where? In Miami. That's tough.
That's really tough. But if I'm the Patriots, I would— But you know we're not going to even let it get close to a field goal, PFT.
You're right. We're not.
You know we're just going to run through the entire year this year. In fact, as a big Patriots fan, I think that we should trade for Eli Manning and just stash him so that no other team can get him.
Because he's the one guy that's proven that he can beat an undefeated Patriots team in the Super Bowl.

So take that off the board entirely. So the Eli conversation to put a bow on it,

I think the greatest thing Eli Manning ever did was have Archie Manning as a father

and be really nice to the New York media

because he actually should go in the Hall of Fame first ballot

just for being so good with the New York media. What if he gets up into the booth after he retires and he's really fucking good? Like surprise.
What if he shocks the world? No, it's like, wow. Eli, Eli was the one with the personality.
No, not Cooper. Weird.
No, he can't. If he was up in the booth, I don't know.
That would be incredible, wouldn't it? Yeah. I just give him a shot..
Just give him a shot. Also, I saw the Patriots actually, their left tackle is out for a while.
He just got his foot hurt. So, I don't know.
Marshall Newhouse is on the team now. Might step in there.
Yeah. Trade for Trent Williams.
Newhouse played on Sunday. He started on Sunday.
Yeah. So, here's what I'm saying is there's a big this league thing going on right now around the NFL.
We haven't heard that much of this league from Trent Williams, even though he's arguably just as good, if not as young as Jalen Ramsey. But he's just there's like a top three left tackle out there that's just waiting to be picked up by a team.
The Patriots, it would make sense for him. Everyone's trading first round picks.
The Steelers traded a first round pick for Minka Fitzpatrick, which I actually love, by the way. Yeah, I don't mind that, too.
People were like, the Steelers, this is going to be a top-ten pick they traded. You're trading for a guy who was just drafted 11, and you have tape on him.
I was going to say I just like it because now I don't have to guess which Fitzpatrick is which when I see the back of their jersey. Is that Ryan Fitzpatrick Ryan Fitzpatrick? Yeah.
No, that's Minko playing defense and running fast. Speaking of quarterbacks, we should probably talk about the Jets.
So the Jets have no quarterback, and that was a terrible Monday Night Football game. Luke Falk, though.
I still don't know if the Browns are good. I think they are.
I think the Browns are pretty good. They should have won that game by 100.
It was on the road against a team that was coached by Greg Williams, who does not coach dirty. Nope.
He'd like to make that clear. Never.
They looked okay. They had a good balance.
Odell Beckham's fucking awesome, even though he wore the wrong color tint on his visor, and they took him out. I was actually kind of happy because I had the under, so that field goal really helped me out on that one.
But, yeah, I think the are really good Baker Mayfield he takes a lot of chances because gunslinger because he's very good let's get the gunslinger thing going for him uh he takes a lot of chances and sometimes they don't pay out for him okay let me throw out some names though for the Jets quarterback because Sam Darnold who knows how long like that was so Jets to have the sit was that fake by the way the monon? No, that actually happened. So the picture, the graphic of Sam Darnold pointing at you being like, yeah, I'm the fucking man.
I want to make out with you. Out indefinitely, mono.
Yeah. And – I want to know how it's possible real quick how nobody else on the Jets got mono.
Don't you – Well, you didn't kiss anyone. Yeah, but in a football locker room, don't you share water bottles sometimes? You're in close contact.
It's true. Maybe that's Le'Veon Bell, but he's always had mono.
That's why he runs like that. I was saying, yeah.
Very lethargic in approaching the line of scrimmage. Seriously, you're around these guys all the time.
I assume that the old Seahawks used to share girlfriends. Golden Tate, Percy Harvin.
They played pretty well. So uh so the jets quarterback situation trevor simeon comes in electric by the way just a guy who it was reminiscent shades of kirk cousins and andy dalton giving his pregame warm-up speech like why they decided he was the guy to mic up i do not know but i'm happy they did that because i went to i fell asleep listening trevor simeon speak before the game but let me throw out a couple names tell me your excitement okay let's start with oh wait wait i need to know what scale i'm using am i going ball scale here okay ball scale the guy right down the hallway eli manning uh i don't know um two and a half balls two and a half balls okay that's i know if you can get it done in that stadium.
We talked about it on Monday. Adam Gase, Jay Cutler.
Five balls. Five balls.
Okay. Now this one, unfortunately you just blew your wad because I got some guys that you're going to be more excited about.
If you say Tebow. Tebow.
Tim Tebow. That's an obvious five balls.
The Jets, and then my last one. I would want Tim Tebow to come back and play if he did it for the love of the sport and the love of the franchise.
Gets paid $0. There's too much selfishness in this league.
$0 against the cap. The last one I had was Michael Vick, but the Jets are in that spot where their season's over.
Greeny even lost it on get up. I don't know if you saw.
He lost it. He went viral.
Michael Vick, really? Yes. How many quarterbacks with kissing diseases do we need on that roster right now I mean let's just do it let's have Michael Vick on there or Colin Kaepernick but the point is the Jets season is over Luke Falk is not going to be the guy I would assume he doesn't look bad I would assume he's not going to Washington State is slowly taking over the NFL all right I would assume maybe Ryan Leaf throw him on there I'm saying like the quarterback position to Washington State is slowly taking over the NFL.
All right. I would assume maybe Ryan Leaf.
Throw him on there. I'm saying, like, the quarterback position to Washington State is like defensive backs to Texas, which is DBU, as we all know.
Here's what I really wish, though. A team would just say, this season is fucked.
We're fucked. Let's at least give the fans something to have fun with.
Yep. Tim Tebow is not a quarterback in the NFL.
You never know. Let's just make him one for five weeks.
You never know. I mean, that's exactly what I was saying about the Mets and Tebow calling him out.
Yeah, obviously he's not going to get the job done, but he'd be fun to watch. Colin Kaepernick would be interesting.
Leroy reported today that Colin Kaepernick and his family landed at Teterboro Airport in New Jersey this afternoon.

Now, full disclosure, it's probably because they were just accepting an award for their Nike commercial.

So Leroy's playing games.

No, he reported the news as it stood.

Playing games.

He wasn't saying one way or the other that he was signing with the Jets or the Giants.

It would be the most NFL thing of all time if the Jets signed Colin Kaepernick after all this time

and then they just threw him to the Wolves against the Patriots on Sunday. Just sign someone.
Sign someone. Let's have some fun.
Sam Dron will be back in six to eight weeks. I don't even know if you want him back because the season will be long gone by then.
Jamal Adams already is unfollowing everyone on the Jets. This league.
This league, petty wars. But just do it.
Just give us something fun to look forward to. If we're going to have to watch the Jets, This league.
This league, Petty Wars. But just do it.

Just give us something fun to look forward to.

If we're going to have to watch the Jets, I'm sure they have some primetime games coming up.

If we're going to have to watch them, at least give us something fun to watch.

I agree.

Although I don't think that Luke Falk is bad.

I don't think he's good.

You want some sabermetrics, some connected dots for you on this one?

Okay.

The first person I saw tweet about this, there have been some others that have jumped on it too, but it was Johnny Maffay. I think that's how you pronounce his name.
There are a lot of similarities between Luke Falk and TB12. Luke Falk took over for injured Jets quarterback in week two of his second season.
He was also the 199th pick in the draft. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow. So this is probably going to happen.
Continue? They're both 6'4", 6'5", and weigh like 225 pounds. Continue? That's it.
That's it. That's all they got.
So watch out. Maybe a new dynasty has started for the New York Jets.
That's what I'm saying. Don't throw New Falk out.
First year coach for the Jets? Don't, yeah. Or second year? Yeah, sure.
I guess Belichick was second year. Yeah, yeah.
Second team. Second year as a head coach.
No, second team as a head coach. Second team as a head coach.
He's coached the Dolphins beforehand. I'm just saying, don't discount Luke Falk just yet.
By the way, Adam Gase is the perfect case of just get yourself around someone who's really good at their job once in your career and you're set he was around peyton manning they broke all the records and now everyone since that point's been like adam gaze kind of nice rub some of that magic off kind of nice just if you could if you could take any tip any life advice tip just find your way to be close to greatness yep for a brief period of time and everyone will think that you had something to do with that greatness absolutely that's a great life hack that and also be completely average for 15 years yeah that's it you'll get into a hall that too uh all right so let's do we had something else we're going to talk about jalen ramsey uh you want to hot seat cool throne okay we got some stuff with that hot seat cool throne uh my hot seat i got a few let me just pull up my computer real quick my hot seat is jalen ramsey Oh, cool throne. Okay.
We got some stuff with that. Hot seat, cool throne.
My hot seat, I got a few. Let me just pull up my computer real quick.
My hot seat is Jalen Ramsey. Oh, I had him too.
You did? Yeah, well, I had him. Yeah, yeah.
I had him for having God as his agent. Go ahead.
God's his agent? Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, yeah.
Call God. God and his agent.
He called his own press conference, which I didn't even really know players could just do, and that the teams just let him call their own press conference. Kind of a wild move, talking about he demanded a trade.
He talked about the whole thing. And Doug Marone's going to beat him up, because he is from the same dad.
Diana Rossini reported this. Yep.
Said, Doug Marone went to high school with my uncles and dad. They're all from the same neighborhood in the Bronx.
I suggest avoiding confrontation with him at all costs. Oh, forget about it.
Listen, listen. 55-year-old Doug marone versus an all-class athlete i gotta back up my girl diana on this one because her dad has seen doug marone get into fights before yeah but it's still an all-time bad tweet against all world jalen ramsey is in the peak of his profession and a pretty fucking strong tough dude i think i'd take my i listen i love doug marone he's a big.
I think I'd take Jalen Ramsey in that fight. Well, it depends how fired up he is.
Like, did Jalen Ramsey call him Fredo on the sideline? Because if so, that can just light a fuse in somebody. I do like it that, like, hey, he's from the Bronx or wherever, Queens, so he could definitely beat up this guy who's, like, 24 years old and at the peak of his profession.
If Diana reports it, it's true. Everybody from the Bronx can beat the shit out of Jalen Ramsey yeah that was Diana Rossini actually did like a my dad stronger than your dad tweet yeah I believe it in full seriousness are you it so Jalen Ramsey's uh agent is God yes he said God and my agent will figure it out so I'd have to think they're in cahoots that's pretty pretty powerful duo it is have your agent agent and God working on your trade request.
So wait, so where is he going to go? Are there any rumors? I think he's going to stay with Jacksonville. It's 530 right now.
So something might happen later on tonight after we record this. I want to see him in Thursday night's game.
I want to see him play. He will play in Thursday night's game.
It's going to be. I'm going to put a guarantee.
He'll get traded. Yeah.
Because he to get traded to the Titans. That'd be amazing.
That would be amazing. Walk down the lock walk down the hallway.
No, I think the Jaguars would be crazy to trade him. Crazy.
I mean, he's really, really good. Really, really good.
And they're asking for two first round picks for him. As Pete Prisco said, just pop in the tape from Sunday and you'll know why they're not going to trade him.
That's right. Pete Prisco also the block king of Twitter.
Also, the all 22 doesn't come out until Tuesday. So you haven't popped in the tape yet.
Pete did a block on someone and wrote a quote tweet and then said oh and PS see ya. Oh yeah he's the king of see ya.
You're out of here. He's fucking Joe West kicking people out of the game.
My other hot seat is Lizzo. She's been cancelled been canceled.
Why? Cancer culture is hot in the streets these days. Yep.
She's the latest victim. She ordered Postmates the other night, and apparently the Postmate delivery person stole her order, and she proceeded to go online, screenshotted a picture of the delivery driver and her name and her picture and everything.
It was like, yo, fuck this person. They stole my order.
And people are mad at her for snitching i guess dox them uh so she's been canceled for that yeah uh i think that as a postmates driver you should be allowed to steal some stuff occasionally depending yeah i feel like there's got to be like one restaurant where like all right if this order from this place comes through like i'm taking that for myself it's really a victimless crime now when you order things to go or for pickup or delivery yeah 99% of the time

something about your order is getting fucked up and if you work for Postmates you know how easy

it is you can just get a job like you can go work for another delivery service if it's a huge order

and you just steal like $250 worth of food worth it now I have a question Lizzo I don't know who

that is who is she's 100% that bitch describe her what her. What does she look like? She's curvy.
She plays the flute. Curvy.
She twerks. Great twerker.
Curvy. Yeah.
Okay. She plays the flute.
She's an electric performer. As a fellow curvy person, you never want to tweet about your food not being there.
But as a fellow curvy person, how mad would you be if your food got

Oh, very mad, but I wouldn't take it to Twitter because

I feel like you're just setting yourself up

to get dunked on.

Nobody would steal a food order

from a skinny person. Right, but it just

What are you going to steal? A salad? To be like

Hey, I ordered this food

and didn't want to get off my couch and now I'm complaining

on Twitter. Feels like a cell phone.

Yeah, you know what I say she apologized for it too? Right. Oh, good.
So she's back. She's back.
Yeah. Oh, I forgive her in the cancel.
On behalf of part of my take, we officially forgive Lizzo. Oh, I don't know.
Hank said Hank's got a half vote saying no. Oh, I'd like to see her.
I need to. I'd like to see her.
I want to know what the order was. Yeah.
I'd like to see her execute a few... I want to know what the order was.

Yeah, I'd like to see her execute a few Postmate orders without any incidents.

It depends.

So now you're blaming her for getting her food stolen.

No, I'm blaming her for complaining online about it because that's a dickhead thing to do.

Okay, well, you are the airport king.

Of mocking people who complain online about airports.

My cool throne is anyone who's bought stock in Larry 2. Oh, okay.
He's due for a huge week this week. Oh, no.
Shit. And there's only a couple more weeks to buy stock.
So if you have bought stock already, congratulations. You're a smart person.
And if you haven't bought stock, he's due now this week. So get on while the train is hot.
Right. He's going to go on fire.
Like statistically, he's statistically due. Do you want to say what his record is? I'm looking at his chart right now.
Two and three last week. Okay.
Two and three's not bad. You can map out charts on stocks and see when they're about to bounce or fall down.
I've got a very good feeling that Larry's about to bounce back this week looking at the chart. Okay.
So buy your Larry shirts. It comes with a stock certificate.
You own a goldfish. But only for two more weeks.
You can speak out as a goldfish owner. Yes.
Okay. PFT.
What do you got? My hot seat is laboratories. Oh.
Across the globe. Mostly just in Australia and in Russia.
First of all, there was an Australian lab. It was a mass.
There was a massive semen explosion after a blaze hit a bull artificial insemination laboratory and firefighters were forced to dodge the projectiles being shot out from the bull semen lab this feels like a fake story it was a listen it was a news week yeah no i i know i i'm not sure i'm not saying you you didn't make it I'm saying that I always am, like Australia, you said?

Yeah.

Australia feel like they haven't been on the map for a while.

Why not make up a fake bullcum story?

I mean, I'm sorry, a Chilean bull semen factory exploded just sending spewge everywhere because

there was cow sperm.

Okay.

That's got to be pretty nasty as a firefighter.

I would say so.

Mukake.

I would say so.

Yeah.

Nice.

That was 1.7 balls.

It's like Chernobyl, though.

If you get hit by it, then you're.

Thank you. Okay.
That's got to be pretty nasty as a firefighter. I would say so.
Mukake. I would say so.
Yeah. Nice.
That's 1.7 balls. It's like Chernobyl, though.
If you get hit by it, then you're... Yeah.
Then what? Your skin just starts to melt. You think bull semen is radioactive? I feel like if you're a firefighter going to a laboratory, after watching Chernobyl, I feel like that's just got to be...
Don't pick up the rocks. Right.
Don't touch the semen. Yeah.
Yeah. I think if there's bull semen just spraying into the air that just means that uh the council has elected a new micro for the next season dirty jobs uh the other lab that exploded was in russia there was a smallpox explosion so a laboratory that had smallpox in it for some reason we still keep that okay stored in a lab somewhere that exploded uh so i'm sure that's fine yeah not a big deal no good thing you got your kid vaccinated yes i think we made him yes we did the internet made him yes the internet made made your kid get vaccinated and my other hot seat is is odell beckham because it turns out that the watch that he was wearing pre-game remember a lot of people priced it out as being like a two million dollar watch uh well according to darren revell who tweeted a vagina a picture last night's true i was very upset but he's an expert in spotting phonies because he has many mirrors yes he identified it as being a fake watch and a very cheap knockoff watch at that like just maybe a couple hundred bucks damn so odell come on odell gotta know better than that i kind of like that by odell because he's everyone's flipping out about how he's warming up in this watch and it's all fake.
Yeah, that would be nice, right? Yeah. It's a funny, like he should smash it on purpose.
He should have smashed it on purpose until Ravel ruined the joke and then tweeted out the vagina. The vagina.
Explain that real quick. So Ravel tweeted out a picture like, you think the jet season's bad? Look at the fans not paying attention.
And it was a picture of a guy looking at a picture of what looked like an anatomy chart of a vagina. It wasn't even a flesh and blood vagina.
It was a drawing of a vagina. And, of course, Ravel tweeted it out and scarred everyone.
And I would assume... Violated Twitter's terms of service? Ravel definitely seen more like drawings of vaginas than actual vaginas i was i did a probably too much thinking on why that guy was looking at it slash texting it because he was sending that to someone else do you think he was chirping his buddy that was the only reason i could come up with for like why you would because like you google image vagina and then send it there was like the only way.
Why else would you be? I would be sending that there's probably some inappropriate Trevor Simeon jokes or something involved in that. Oh about him not being able to play to withstand a broken ankle and like torn everything.
Yeah, that's probably I think that's probably accurate. That's probably what it was.
My cool throne is these's nuts jokes. Uh-oh.
Because football guy Nick Saban apparently loves D's nuts jokes. This is like his favorite thing is pulling the D's on people.
So all you people that say that Nick Saban doesn't have a sense of humor, he actually does. It's just very specific to only D's nuts jokes.
He's a big Bofa guy too? Probably he's going to get around to Bofa and the Imagine Dragons joke in a couple years. It's coming at any point.
Okay. My hot seat is triggered people online because Mike Leach is online.
And he triggered the OCD community by tweeting out a picture that had a little fuck up where it said OCD. It said it was a hospital, a school of medicine, and it had everything listed, like academic affairs, evaluation clinic, and then at the bottom was obsessive compulsive disorder, and it was just a little off-centered.
So he triggered everyone, and he actually got a response from the International OCD Foundation saying, OCD is a serious disorder that affects an estimated 1 in 100 adults. It can seem funny to those who aren't affected, but for those who are, it's no laughing matter.
We hope you consider deleting and directing your followers to IOC DF.org. And Mike Leach just said, warning, I got a couple of complaints today on one of my tweets.
You read my tweets at your own risk. Viewer discretion.
Strongly advised. Fuck.
Yes. Mike Leach uses Twitter like your elderly uncle uses Facebook.
Yeah. He's just getting into the meme game.
He's just getting into it and watch out world. He's going to as soon as he catches up with like he definitely will be in the political meme wars of 2020.
Oh, for sure. He's going to get he's going to throw his hat in that ring.
Absolutely. All right.
My cool throne is dog the bounty hunter because he's doing fine. He had a heart attack, I think, but he's fine.
It might have been a broken heart. I read he had a medical episode.
That's fine. He's fine.
He has someone tweeting from his account saying that he's fine. And I have no reason to believe that he isn't fine because he's got to be fine.
What if this was a situation like, I think it was Woodrow Wilson had a stroke when he was president, and his wife kind of acted like the president for the last six months. Maybe I'm just describing the movie Dave.
Dave, yeah. But I'm pretty sure there was a president where his wife just pretended he was still alive.
It was like, oh, he can't come out now for the last maybe year or so of his presidency. What if Dog is just incapacitated by a social media manager? Would he still tell Iceheads to go with Christ, bro? Yeah, the social media manager can do that.
Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.
He's going to be fine. Okay, let's get to our interview with Chris Bosh.
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And now, Chris Bosh. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, future NBA Hall of Famer.
I can say that, right? Yeah, absolutely. Okay.
It is true. It is Chris Bosh.
He's in studio. I don't even know where to start because doing some research, obviously I know your basketball career, basketball career you have about a million interests would that be safe safe to say yeah you have like music you read you you're writing a book let's actually start there you're writing a book you just told us before the show started you're writing a book yeah about writing a book um it's a working title um but essentially um it's it's kind of like uh like one of the working title is letters to a young athlete.
But I want it to translate to everyone. So you're like cucking the entire Players Tribune business model.
I like that. I like that.
Have you ever thought about doing it LeBron James style and doing letters from a young athlete to his future self about his past self, like his Instagram posts? Nah, nah, I wouldn't try that. It can get, you get into the matrix and all that stuff.
Yeah, time for traveling. Yeah, you can't do that, man.
So you're giving advice to young athletes? Are you saying like what you learned? Yeah, it's kind of like lessons that I learned in sports pretty much. Okay.
And, you know, it's been so many things that's been valuable that I've used in both aspects on and off the court, you know. So I figure if I could take that, take those lessons and then take, you know, my favorite stories and stuff like that.
And, you know, just kind of let people in on what what changed for me, things that happened for me and things that I use tools that i used and it really worked okay so lesson for a young athlete should they have a burner account or not no no shouldn't even i mean multiple burner accounts yeah i mean you know what see here's the problem now if you have a burner account what happens you might slip up yeah yeah but who knows how many people don't get caught or you might not and it looks like you have like your number one fan is very vocal in your defense all the time oh yeah but that's like making another personality right it's like yeah you can't be two people right you know what i mean you can't be just you know just yeah oh yeah i got the burner account and i'm you do with full disclosure, I used to do that when I was in high school. I was in the chat room.
You had the burner account? Yeah. Like, Chris Bosh is a five-star? Well, it wasn't even burner account.
It wasn't cool to put your real name on the internet back then. Right.
You know, so it was this website called TexasHoops.com. I used to go on it when I was in high school.
Yeah. I'd be in the chat room like, you're wrong.
You shouldn't pass more. It's fine.
We're really good. He's dominating.
Trying to defend our case. That's normal, though.
I feel like that's a normal reaction. At least for high schoolers.
I know in Texas sports in particular, it's almost a professional sport the second you step foot into high school. Absolutely.
And so there are people you like they're professional analysts and so for somebody who's you know 15 to 18 years old it's natural i think to stand up for yourself but then at some point you have to learn i can't read everything that's being written about me at what point did that occur to you or did it ever occur to you did you still oh yeah it occurred to me once we got to Miami once um once I made the decision to go to Miami uh you know it changed everything changed I used to always be on Twitter and always back when like I think what Twitter uh came out in 2006 and I forgot when I made my account but it was like right around 2007 2008 so I was always you know on social media but once i start reading the comments and stuff i made that mistake one because it wasn't happening everything was positive before that because everybody wanted me to go to play for their team right you know so then after you know i made my choice people let me know that they did not like it and then you know you get all the other stuff on top of that so once one day I just had like a bad day reading and I'm like man that really messed up my day I'm really upset what am I doing you know just reading words on the screen that's that's insanity to me so I just stopped you know and you see it now it's a kind of a storyline that's going on in the NBA now where a lot of guys are, you know, Adam Silver came out and said that these guys that are millionaires, young athletes, have the whole world at their fingertips are actually incredibly lonely. Yeah.
Because they feel isolated, because they can't go out in public, because they're spending their days on Twitter and, like, reading the negative stuff. Yeah.
Do you think that that's overblown or you see you see how like that's actually a true thing going i can see how um people can be like that i mean you know even for me if i go outside everybody wants to take a picture right you know so that alone is something that i have to mentally be ready for it's exhausting yeah it's exhausting a little bit and you know people want to talk to you and right. Everybody has a camera.
Of course everybody wants a picture. You know, but it's just another added thing.
You know, on top of that, it's more popular than ever. It's more money than ever in the league.
So it's kind of, you know, pick your poison. Right.
You know, but I think it's just learning to cope with things and being okay with that. And sometimes saying no.
Like, I don't a picture right now right you know and I want to go about my day and enjoy my day right you know and learning how to cope with that and go out in public and stuff like that so when you got off Twitter that was in your I didn't get off I just like I stopped reading the comments and you know I kind of fell off it for a while right yeah so that happened inami do you think it was because you guys were winning and kind of had a big target on your back or we hadn't even played yet oh well you had you done the championship celebration you know the famous one before we didn't have the championship celebration until we won a championship no right no you know what i'm talking about we have a celebration when you want yeah you know we had we had couple celebrations, actually. After that happened, did anyone – I would imagine after you get in the hallway, you're like, was that kind of weird? We just celebrated a championship when we just signed? No, we weren't celebrating a championship.
And you know what? I love talking about this because it's so interesting because we got blamed so much for it. It's like, man, I'm not an event planner.
Right.

What the hell do you think of it? I'm just going to, like, sign a contract, you know,

bring my whole family out to Miami and then orchestrate this big thing.

We came there and that was there.

People, like, were there for us.

I thought you were on stage before, like, positioning the smoke machine.

The lights were hitting you.

You're like, no, I need two.

I need one on each side to get cross-steamed. But did anyone say toon like yo did you just say we're gonna win seven that part you know what like yo i think we just i think we got a little ahead of ourselves that's one of those things to where you're just everybody's so happy and you're just like yeah yeah let's just go for it you're not thinking about what everybody else is going to think about.

Right.

You know, you're just, everybody's happy.

Right, right.

That was, I mean.

It was more so in of intent.

I would quit Twitter too if I was part of that championship celebration.

Yeah, that's a good watermark to stop reading the comments online.

It was at that point.

Yeah, that was about, I think, probably that next day.

Like, oh, you know, it was funny because we were in our bubble. About two days later, you know, you start watching TV.
It's like, oh. Yeah.
See what the rest of the world sees. He could win 75 games.
Yeah, and just the reaction. You know, there was very strong reactions across the league.
Yeah, I think if you're a player on another team and you see that,

that absolutely, you talk about bulletin board material,

they're like, yeah, they're already counting this.

They're discounting us out already before they've even played a game together.

Can't wait.

They're not even that good.

There's also the element that I'm always curious about of playing with LeBron,

I feel like brings added pressure to everyone around him because he's such a star

and there's always so much attention on him.

Did you feel that right away?

Yeah, but it was like... I feel like brings added pressure to everyone around him because he's such a star.

And there's always so much attention on him.

Did you feel that right away?

Yeah, but it was like gas on the fire after that one.

It was already a thing, and then it was just something totally – I mean, it transcended and transformed a bunch of things, you know,

more than what I thought.

But, you know, the championship pressure, I wanted to win a championship. That's what we were all there for.
So that was kind of, we knew what we were getting ourselves into, kind of. Kind of.
Until we experienced it. And then that was really the brunt of it, man.
We were just kind of in the middle of the ocean. It's like, well, you got to swim now.
And we had to gel together as a team and figure out how to navigate trying to win in the league. It's like you understand, okay, Michael Jordan and those guys, you just think it's just watching the game and watch TV.
It's so much more than that. Would you like to apologize for ruining the NBA by creating super teams? No.
No? Okay, so you're a basketball fan, I'm sure. okay so you know you're a basketball fan i'm sure yep you know super teams have always been a part of the league right right you know in the 80s showtime the lakers robert parish larry bird um you know kevin mckale um you know we could go on and on the lakersakers, they had – I always tell people, like, the Lakers had Ron Harper.
Ron Harper won five championships. They don't even mention Ron Harper.
They had Ron Harper, Robert Ory, both of them multiple championships between them. Ron Harper and Michael Jordan were in, like, you know, the same conversation in the league when they just got there.
You know, so it's always been a part of the league. It part it is funny to me though how people point at that heat team and they act like it's the first time that uh three really good basketball players wanted to play basketball with each other yeah it was just in the way it was the it was the decision by lebron it was the going from cleveland to miami and it felt it felt very orchestrated beforehand know you guys have talked about it, but how far in advance did you know you three were going to go somewhere together? It didn't happen too far in advance because he still had a decision to make.
Right. We knew that Miami had the cap space to do something like that.
I don't think – did anybody else? I think Miami and New York. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I'm a Bulls fan. Chicago, you guys have said in retrospect that you were thinking about it.
I always just assume no one ever thinks about signing as a free agent to the Bulls because we'd never gotten a big free agent. It was very, very close.
You were actually close? No way. Yeah, man, look.
They had Joe Kim, young Derek Rose, which he won MVP that year. Yep.
Luol Deng. Yep.
Kirk Heinrich. Kirk Heinrich.
Mm-hmm. I mean, those are solid pieces.
And I mean, I think Omar Asik, too. Oh, yeah.
The bench mob. The league was still a little bigger back then.
yeah it was uh and then um and then we got carlos boozer because you went to miami yeah and then the thing was two of three their thing was two of three got it yeah so so what was the pitch like for everyone else like i've i've read some of the stories people just you would just show up and they'd show you like photoshopped into their jersey yeah they had ipads that iPads. That was the thing.
Everybody had an iPad with, like, an app.

Is that what the Bulls did?

Yeah, everybody did.

Of course they fucking did.

And it probably was a shitty, like, you were like, wait,

I can see my Raptors jersey underneath there.

Nah, and then, like, I came in the arena.

Yeah, United Center, yeah.

And they had, like, the thing up, and, you know, my name.

It's a crazy thing, because Mike Jordan played, you know.

Right.

It's the house that Michael built.

Right.

And so, you know, my name is up there.

It's like, wow, this is crazy.

So, and then what was Pat Riley, I would imagine, because you went there.

Yeah.

Had a little bit of a different.

He didn't take out the iPad.

No, he didn't take out an iPad.

What did he do?

I don't believe.

Yeah, I didn't get it.

Yeah, see, this drives me insane that they're like, honestly thought like hey this would be cool no one no one could ever see a photoshop of you in a different jersey so what did pat riley do instead talk and that's god damn it took you out for a nice steak dinner probably uh we no we didn't have a steak dinner. It was the whole thing and the free agency thing, so it was like meetings.
So we had all the meetings at one time. Okay.
The steak dinner was after. That was afterwards.
I imagine a couple nice bottles of red wine. Oh, for sure.
Was LeBron already into the sheesh game, the wine game back then? No, I don't believe so. Definitely not as heavy as he is now.
You think it's a problem? What? He was drinking on the bench one game. He's walking into the games with full glasses of wine.
Yeah. You don't like wine? No, I enjoy wine not while I'm on the job.
Yeah. Not while you're on the job.
No, we're just trying to work. I'm just saying.
That's a good point. That's a good point.
I were uh you're a big harry potter guy yeah if you were to put you lebron and d wade into houses in harry potter how would you do that that's an interesting question how slytherin is that one yes you know i know who's going on yeah lebron, LeBron is Slytherin. Yeah, LeBron is Slytherin.

But he's the good Slytherin.

You know, not to like the dark.

We'll decide that.

Yeah, the dark.

You said Slytherin.

Okay, you guys are going to decide that one.

I'm Gryffindor.

That's obvious.

Obviously.

Obviously.

And, man, you know, they don't give the other two houses enough love, man.

Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff.

Yeah, they don't even give him any love.

D-Wade. Wait, which one is Hufflepuff? D-Wade.
D-Wade. You think so? Yeah, I think so.
I don't know what Hufflepuff is. Full disclosure, I've never read Harry Potter.
You've never? No. But you knew.
No, this is just clickbait. I'm just trying to get people to click on this.
Okay, you're looking on the internet right now, so you knew the houses, or are you just like a closet harry potter no i i know all about the sorting hat and then what's has it has the last one he's he's got ud yeah yeah uh shoot whatever the tough ones are oh you mean he yeah he is a tough dude yeah uh go ahead one thing that i always liked about you about you, you were never afraid to put your sense of humor out there a little bit.

Yeah.

I remember seeing you do that car commercial, the used car commercial.

Oh, yeah. Where you're wearing the giant cowboy hat.

Yeah.

At first I was like, what the fuck is this guy doing?

I was like, this is weird, but it was good.

Was it weird?

Yeah, it was weird.

Yeah.

It was kind of weird.

It was.

It was definitely off the beaten path for an NBA star at the time to do something like that. I think now people try and they try to produce comedy videos.
But a lot of time it's unnatural. And when you did it, it was like, this guy's just really funny.
When you were sitting down, did you actually decide to write that? Or how did that whole used car thing come about? Man. And, you know, I've told people this story a bunch of times.
So pretty like that was the first year um the big three in Boston got together and so uh LeBron and Kevin Garnett were hammering me in in all-star votes and I knew I wasn't gonna you know win but I had started one time and I wanted to do it again um so I I just wanted to make it look respectable in the numbers. This is like, you know, LeBron 1.6, Kevin Garnett 1.2, you know, Bosh 400.
I'm like, damn, I gotta get that number up. And so I was like, man, I always loved the internet.
I've always been doing this my whole life, you know, pretty much. You code.
You code, right? Kind of. You know what coding is.
I don't even know that. I know the concept.
But looking at that stuff, I said, all right, I'm going to make a video and put it on YouTube. Because you can vote online now.
So I'm going to get my votes up. I'm going to figure out some way.
And so I had one idea, which I was going to be making fun of President Bush at the time. But I said, nah, that's not really gonna be a good one, because we're at war and all this stuff.
And that'll be pretty insensitive. So then I just was thinking of how I could execute this idea.
And I was off for a couple days for Christmas that I shot that onmas eve and so uh me and my brother were i was back home i went home for a couple days uh for christmas and yeah just wrote it out and said man yeah you know we watched those crappy videos from uh back in the day with the used car salesman stuff like that and i was trying to you know yeah vote for me and what I'm going to do. That would be great, though.
Send the traffic to my website. It would be great if you did the George Bush one.
Yeah, you know. Have, like, Boogie Cousins throwing a shoe at you and you ducking out of the way? Well, it was, yeah, it was not the time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything was very fresh.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
So along the same lines of that question, your comedy and showing your personality, did you create the video bomb? Did you create that? Because I feel like after the press conference, after games on the NBA court, I feel like you were the first guy who did that. During NBA games, yeah, or a sporting event on purpose multiple times.
Yeah. And the only reason I did that was because we were winning so much, and it was just a lot of fun.
And I said, man, you know what? I just watched a lot of TV when I was a kid. So I immediately my mind starts wondering, like, I wonder what the people that are watching this on TV, what would be funny right now? And, you know, because I'm like doing an interview and, you know, for the umpteenth time, D is right there.
Brian is right there, and I'm like, okay, I'll just do something.

And then they laughed, and everybody kept laughing,

so I said, all right, I might as well keep going.

I had to stop, though, once people said, can I take a picture with you?

Yeah, sure.

Can you photobomb me?

Yeah, I'm not photobombing.

Oh, yeah, at that point, it's over.

Yeah, yeah, that's too much.

That's too much.

It's over.

What about the people who used to say that you looked like the Raptors logo? You want to know what's funny? Yeah. People really thought they were cutting deep with that.
I didn't think so. My high school friends were joking on me like that, and I had to laugh at that one.
Listen, the Raptors logo is a good-looking logo. It's a great-looking logo, right? That's the part that I never understood.
Yeah, but they used to call me, like, like a velociraptor in high school. They thought it was so funny.
That's cool. Coach K looks like the Blue Devil.
He's slowly morphed into the Blue Devil. It's like 101 Dalmatians when the dog owners walk around looking like their dogs.
It's a cool concept. You can only draft players that look like your logo.
Yeah, that would be would be pretty nice much rather than like look like the wizards logo or the hornets logo yeah the raptors one if you had to pick one in the nba east at least i feel like that's number one were you were you actually were you pumped up this year for the raptors in the playoffs were you yeah absolutely to see them absolutely man you know what um i got to see, I got to, I worked the pregame stuff with TSN, the

Canadian. Absolutely.
To see them win? Absolutely. Man, you know what? I got to see, I worked the pregame stuff with TSN, the Canadian Network.
And I saw a lot of old friends there. Some of the same people are still working there.
The equipment managers, the trainers, you know, bartenders. Yeah.
You know, the guys running the seats and stuff, you know, the people that help you to your seats. and to see them just, you know bartenders yeah you know the uh the guys running the seats and stuff you know the people that help you to your seats and to see them just you know have a have a piece in that was was really really cool i was so happy for them the whole city where do you ever have regrets about i mean i think a lot of guys say nowadays like they kind of wish they played for a full for the same team their whole entire career yeah or do you not even think about that? No, I don't think about it.
Yeah, I couldn't change it. And things worked out pretty good.
Yeah, they did. I would say they worked out pretty.
Yeah, it was pretty solid, man. So let's talk about the championships.
Yeah. First time you guys go to the finals, LeBron has eight points in that one game.
I just mentioned that off the top of my head. I can't even remember why I remembered that.

What was it like after you guys lose that first one to the Mavs,

and was there ever a feeling of not despair, but you were a very good team?

It felt like this was the thing in the super team and all that,

and you fall short against kind of a random NBA winner in the Mavs.

For sure.

Yeah, they were very crafty. Older team, more and more savvier than we were, and they took advantage of that.
So, you know, first of all, having to come back is embarrassing. You know, it's depressing.
you find out you find out why

some people don't bounce back. People don't bounce back from that.
Right. You know, it takes, like, a lot to even try to get back on the horse.
And even if you bounce back, you can just be like, okay, I'm not going to go for the championship. I'll just lay over here in the nice, comfortable part of the league.
It's a six seat. Yeah.
And just out and wave goodbye. Be on a yacht early May, no problem.
You know what I mean? No problem. Body's good.
But we realize what it really takes and that pain of dealing with that. Yeah, and so then you win the next year against – that's going to go down as one of the craziest teams that you played in the Russell Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant.
I don't think people are going to get it. They're like, but you beat those guys.
And you played three MVPs and you beat them? But they were on the same team. Yeah, right.
Yes. But you beat them, and you beat them convincingly.
Yeah. And that moment – was that the champagne picture championship or was it the next one yeah yeah that was yeah that was a great picture yeah yeah thank you yeah it's kind of me rubbing it in people's faces just a little bit yeah so how it must have felt great probably like we talked about earlier you got all the jokes against you people criticize the heat criticize lebron criticize you and then you get that last laugh i mean that has to be the greatest feeling of all time it's awesome but you know what like it's not even you don't even think about those things what was amazing to me is what was going through my mind right after and you know the the length of the season and how much it takes to even you know get to that point right and.
Right. And, you know, I reflected on that stuff.
You don't even think about, oh, I proved them wrong. And if you are, then, man, you know, you've got some work to do.
Yeah. So going into that finals against the Thunder, was it more like I'm motivated because I need to prove something to myself? Or was it, was there an element of the haters out there like it's going to be good to drink champagne in their faces and dunk on them afterwards? Oh, no.
It's just I was born to win an NBA championship. That's pretty much it.
I love that. I like that.
You know what I mean? That's what I did. I watched this since I was a kid.
I'm a historian of the game. This is our time.
I'm here. I used to watch this with my dad.
Right. You know what I mean? Pizza parties.
You watch the game. You know, know so you know i understood what what was at stake in every with everything so like for me it was just like being happy to you know get that done it's a dream come true that's pretty cool just growing up knowing that you're going to win one day and then it happens yeah it really is you must feel like a genius after you do it you're like i think this is going to happen along yes you like, yeah, you know, you're not that much of a genius.
So the next one is obviously the rebound to the shot, which can you talk us through that play? And it's an all-time iconic play. We're talking about Ray Allen's shot in the corner to save the Heat in game six.
You're the one who gets the rebound. If you don't do that, the Heat lose, and you guys championship yeah this is a little different yeah a little different so were things moving in slow motion or was that just yeah it moved in slow motion once lebron shot it that's how i remember it's funny because you know how you remember things sometimes it's not how it really happens so my memory of the whole thing i remember the I remember everything, but the speed is way faster

than what I recall. Interesting.

It felt like a long time

to make that decision

because I was able to watch

the flight of the ball. That's why I was able to make

a play on the ball to get the rebound.

They both,

both Boris Diao and

Tony Parker went to LeBron.

So that opened me up

the free lane to the basket. I didn't have anybody

in front of me, so I could just concentrate on

to be Both Boris Diao and Tony Parker went to LeBron. Right.
So that opened me up the free lane to the basket. I didn't have anybody in front of me.
So I could just concentrate on the ball. And then, you know, it just felt, you know, one of those moments, this is for me.
Right. It was that moment.
It was my ball. Yeah, it's mine.
And then you instinctively are like, there's Ray. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, I felt contact.
And I think it was Manu. And I looked down.
and he was there, and I looked up, and Ray was looking at me with his hands going back, and I just – I can't even tell you why it happened. I'm just happy that it happened.
Yeah, I mean, it's an all-time shot, all-time play. So you just got to always just be in the game.
Yeah, it also is kind of a microcosm for, I think, your career with the Heat where you were such an important player, but you probably never got your total due because it was LeBron and D. Wade.

Was it tough to be that third guy and maybe sometimes have people not give you the credit

for sacrificing some of your game for them?

It was tough being in that position, but it's also tough winning the championship.

It's tough being the first guy, being the second. It's just what it is.
I just used that experience to really learn about basketball. It's like I had to strip myself down all the way and build myself back up to learn how to play basketball and play off the ball, cutting, you know, being a team player, defense, you know, so I learned a big, you know, a more,

so much more of a portion in the game and mental toughness, man. Yeah.
You know, that's not going to be right. And, you know, I'm sure Spoh wanted to help me a bunch of times, but it's like, you know, I can't.
It's not much I can do for you. You just have to do this and that.
And there is an element to the game of figuring out on your own. So, you know, I never, I never, that on top of me, never really worrying about what people thought.
You know, the proof is in the work. It's there.
You know, you can watch every game if you want to. Right.
So, you know, I know where I am as far as a player when I was playing. Yeah.
My career and everything. So, you.
So I'm happy about it. Yeah, I mean, it's always interesting to me because you go from the guy in Toronto to a guy who has to – and a lot of the players in the NBA, they want to be the guy until they have to be the guy.
And I just thought it was – it's an interesting career arc where you then were able to to your ultimate success was being able to kind of take a step back and like you said learn different elements one of the guys yeah and well you know and you know being the guy sometimes isn't as fun man I would imagine you know um if the team is struggling they're gonna ask you first and not that I would shy away from it or anything but it's a tough position to be in and sometimes it's like hey they're double teaming me I'm gonna make the right decision to you know make my team put my teammates in the position well I mean sometimes guys don't play well right you know or your team isn't that good right that's one of the things that we love to talk about that in the media is as soon as two good players get together, the first question we have to ask is who's getting the last shot, which doesn't really make sense because I'm sure a lot of that is game plan dependent. But when it's like you, D-Wade, and LeBron, was there a time when Spalester would sit down and be like, okay, we're going to give you the last shot today.
And then, you know, or in practice, would he have like three different last shot scenarios for you guys no or was just understood that it's going to happen a certain way it's understood i mean it's like in the flow of the game you make those decisions in the flow of the game usually if it was tight and d was having a good game it'd be d you know coming downhill you know but then again i you know it's a good decision you know to have you know because even though it's hard because you know you have a bunch of great players that you know you can make a play for and we'll probably win the game if you draw it up right but you know it was always LeBron most of the time you know because his playmaking ability and that didn't mean he was going to shoot it you're going to get a good shot you're going to get a shot at the basket that Brian had in his hands. He, you know, he hit me a bunch of times for a late game.
Right. Shots.
Do you think the Spurs intentionally turned off the AC in that finals? Absolutely. Of course.
That was – Yeah. That game, the cramps game.
Yeah, that's like – Yeah, that's like the – Red Auerbach was known, you know, or if you're in Boston, you know, the fire things come off or whatever. You got to get out the building and everything.
And they said, man, that was that damn Red Auerbach. I mean, he never denied it, right? Right, right, right.
But, yeah, if I'm them, I'm trying to win. You're trying to win, right? I cut.
Was it? You didn't cramp? No, I didn't cramp. It was hot.
It was hot? I knew Brian was going to cramp. Really? Why is that? Yeah, because his muscles are so dense.
He cramps, like, more than you think. Oh, no.
Because he's so big. And so he's always, like, you know.
Drinking wine. Yeah, drinking.
Exactly. Yeah.
He gains weight during games. I still don't understand how that works.
That's not true. I still don't understand how that works.
So, like, you know, I knew it was hot. I said, man, you know, he might cramp up a little bit.
It was crazy in there. It was very dangerous.
I'm glad, you know, nobody got hurt for and that the spurs won yeah yeah well you know everybody everybody always says what do you think if you guys would have won that game that you would want the series and nah it dumped us pretty good and we won game two right you know so and they did what we were talking about earlier the ability to come back and be all in yeah i mean that that spurs team was on a mission oh yeah yeah it was just after you get your heart broke that bad right and i remember uh we were we were uh they're they're about to win i'm like we just got hammered we got to go all the way back home at least we got beaten well no i don't want to beat miami but it's still kind of whack to have to get on the plane after that and go back home. I'm like, man, knowing this might be our last time playing together.
Yeah. You know, I looked at Tim.
I said, man, last year really sucked. He's like, man, you don't even know.
Yeah. There you go.
Congrats, bro. Tim Duncan, I assume.
Yeah. So the end of the heat, like, you know, LeBron leaving, were you clued in at all?

How did that all go down? Nah, it was right before. And did you feel like you were left out? Because wasn't there like Dwayne Wade took a flight with LeBron? Yeah.
And you weren't invited? No, I was in Africa. Oh, okay.
That's a nice alibi. I was away from the madness.
Were you shocked at all that he left, or did you kind of expect it? It got to the point where I knew that it was free agency all over again and that there might be a change. I got that feeling.
So that's why I negotiated. I continued to negotiate and stuff like that.
I treated it as free agency.

We always say when guys get traded, it's a business.

It's a business.

So he's going to handle his business.

I'm going to handle my business.

And business will be taken care of.

Yeah.

And you got a nice, yeah, you actually handled it very well.

It worked out.

It worked out very well.

It worked out.

Did you ever ask Ray Allen about the tweet? What tweet? You know the tweet. You know the tweet.
Oh, that tweet? Yeah. No, no, no.
You never bust his balls about that? I'm getting there. Picture me.
Picture me. My tongue.
No. Switching back and forth.
No, no, no, no. I don't.
That was accidental. Look, let me tell you something.
That could have been. It was a typo.
Did he ever text you like that by accident? What's that? Like something similar? Like picture me? No. He meant to send somebody else.
Okay. All phone calls.
Yeah. All phone calls.
Right. That's smart.
That's smart. I read that you sued a domain squatter who squatted on a bunch of athletes' names for websites.
Yeah. That was a wild.
You guys are finding some funny things in there, man. What the fuck, man? Yeah.
That guy has every right. That's like an internet troll slash commenter's goal in life is to own ChrisBosh.com before Chris Bosh could.
It's a fact. And he did, and he's got a story.
Right, but that was bullshit that you sued him. How? How many did he have? He just had to give them back.
We didn't get any money from him. He had like 800 of them or something? It was a lot.
I can't remember. It was a few hundred.
That's such a fucking... It was a lot.
He's such an asshole. It wasn't just one where I collected everything.
No, no, no. He had them all.
Everybody. The whole Phoenix Suns team.
Everyone's like, yo, come on.

Come on, dude. I love that guy.

It was like his gold rush.

He's striking oil in West Texas.

Oh, of course.

I'm sure he felt like that.

Yeah.

Sorry he was ahead of the curve.

Roger Bell.

He's the innovator.

Well, you know.

Def Lef Schrempf.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, if that was his name.

I mean.

I think it's bullshit.

That is like the American dream, to capitalize off someone else's name. Yeah.
You should have registered his name. Right.
I mean, you know, if that's if that's how you see it. All right.
So along that same lines, what do you think about copywriting something like Taco Tuesday? Taco Tuesday. I mean, it'd be funny if it goes through.
It'd be really funny. I'm going to sue him.
Yeah, a lot of people. Yeah.
There's a lot of people right now in America and the world. Like, that's my thing.
I invented that. No one owns Taco Tuesday.
Everyone owns Taco Tuesday. Yeah.
You know that. We'll see.
It's for the people. That's for sure.
We'll see if he gets the copyright. I want to interview the guy who stole who took all those websites that guy honestly is fascinating to me yeah we just had him all that is it is kind of fascinating i mean it does take vision yes you have to give it to him it does take vision did you ever see him in court or was it no no no no it was just all handled outside it wasn't even that big of a deal i know a guy who bought uh cj spiller., but CJ Spiller ended up sucking.
So he struck out. You know, some investments, you strike it rich.
Some you don't take a shot on a guy. He's the market.
He's the stock market. He stonks.
Is Drake corny? No. You don't think so? No.
He hates Drake. I'm not a Drake guy.
You're not a Drake guy? Why are you not a Drake guy? I'm a Drake guy. Because he just never did it for me.
I know I understand, I respect that some people like his music. For me, it's just it never slapped right for me.
It's just like it seems a little slow. His flow is kind of lazy.
It's definitely slow. He does a thing where he rhymes the same word with the same word a lot.
I feel like a lot of people like Drake because he has a very good image. And he makes great music.
You have to give it to him. He makes great, incredible songs.
I do like the beats. I like the beats that he has.
And you're a producer too, right? Yeah. Do you sit down? Do you play the piano? Do you play instruments? I play the guitar.
I'm trying to learn the piano. I'm not that good at the guitar, but it's a work in progress.
Are you like a whip out the acoustic guitar and just start playing it and be that guy?

No, I'm not that guy.

No one likes that guy.

No one likes that guy.

He sucks.

That guy sucks.

I got asked to be that guy like a month and a half ago, and I was like, I'm not bringing

my guitar because at that point, that's a line I don't want to cross.

I'll bring my guitar, but I'm not just going to be like, all right, I wrote this song.

Yeah, right.

It was a little tune when I was out here. Yeah, and no one I wrote this song.
Yeah, right. Little tune when I was out here.

Yeah, no one asked you for it.

Yeah, you know, and then you do back to back to back.

Yes.

Like, yeah, that dude does suck.

So do you have new music coming out soon?

Hopefully.

Okay.

Hopefully.

I've been working with writers quite a bit over – I mean, it's been – man, getting on five years years it's been crazy but um you know the learning curve has been great i've worked with some um you know some great people that's taught me a lot and so you know now i'm working with writers i'm trying to you know get some songs out there that's awesome yeah so you know i just and learning the business too it's a very fascinating business in a very fascinating time right and i just really really like it right do you know sunny digital say it again do you know sunny digital yeah i was actually uh man last in may i was in atlanta met sunny digital yeah we hung out at his studio yes where has he cleaned it up we went to it right when it started yeah well yeah it looks like it's coming together now. But, yeah, we hung out.
You could see him. You know, he's got a lot of stuff around, like, you know, amps and all that stuff.
He's produced two of our songs. Yeah? Oh, really? Yeah, that's what I do.
Yeah, Sonny. Yeah, we just met May.
Yeah, he's dope. Yeah, we got an exclusive deal with him.
Drink, paint, and chonk. You ever heard him? I have not.
Okay. I'm not surprised.
All all right i have two questions left uh the first is i never fully wrap my head around how the end of your career like the medical side of it so can you explain it because i remember just being like that's a that's a bummer and you know the the comebacks were rumored for a while and i just kind of assumed you would be back yeah and it never happened so can you walk me through that um the first time I had a pulmonary embolism um very bad uh tremendous pain in my left side of my whole left side of my body thank god you know most people don't survive that that's crazy you know so it kind of gives me chills just thinking about that sometimes you know and was in the hospital, had a collapsed lung. I was in the hospital for five days.
I thought I was about to go home. They bring me in the office and say, all right, we've got to do surgery on you tomorrow.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. We've got to clean out your lungs.
Because we cannot drain the rest of the fluid from your lungs i had to get my lungs drained that sucks you know and so they said well we got to go in there this has happened this has happened so i was in the hospital i can't remember for how long after i want to say another nine days eight nine days and um had to recover from that um recovered the next year and then pretty much what happened is I felt I had a sore spot in my calf right before the All-Star game. Me and my son, I took my son, and I went to go practice the three-point shooting.
So we went back to the gym at night and got some shots up before we headed to Toronto next day. Woke up in the morning, my calf is sore.
I start freaking out a little bit little bit because you know in our research of everything we've done with blood clots we know that it originates sometimes if it's sore that could be a sign so i went to the hospital and you know it was a i guess a blood clot there so yeah like mentally that has to be challenging to you're a professional athlete you're're in peak shape. You take care of yourself and have something fail you like that.
I mean, you know what? I don't even think it's a thing that fails. I think it happens all the time.
Yeah. Yeah, I think it happens all the time because I did another CAT scan and it wasn't there.
Interesting. A few days later.
Yeah. Yeah, you know, and I was still in shape and I was still feeling good.
And this is, you know, I thought I was doing all these precautionary measures and stuff like that, you know. And it kind of, you know, you kind of go to a place sometimes even now saying, man, I should have said something.
But can't do that because it's like, OK, that might have been the one that'll get you. Yeah.
It'll be the one you don't see coming, especially after surviving, something like that. So I just, you know, kind of let it run its course.
The Heat were in a tough position. That was obvious because liability, insurance, contracts, and all those things.
So it is what it is, man. Yeah, it is what it is.
Yeah. We actually have a guy at this company that had a blood clot, and it was like the week or maybe a week and a half, something like that, after you.
Yeah. And because of what you had just been through, he knew what to look for.
Yeah. Oh the hospital and got taken yeah well that's awesome that's awesome i had i had a buddy of mine um it's an assistant coach and he was having the same you know symptoms and people because people misdiagnose you sometimes and he was misdiagnosed and he said man nah and so he kept being persistent and, come to find out he had the same problem.
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Find find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com we've we've hung out now for 30 minutes i feel like i know you let's let's turn off the cameras how annoying is lebron for real oh i was just thinking he's annoying oh he's so annoying right like no he made you read? The Godfather? No, I read books. He has his own book club that he gives to people.
He fake reads books. No, he didn't have a book club.
Go ahead. You can say, you know what? We'll cut this part.
Why you don't like LeBron? I actually like LeBron. I just like that.
I'm a LeBron fan. I actually like, I enjoy the sport of hating LeBron so much.
It's actually one of my favorite things to do as a sports fan. I mean, what happens.
You get stuck in this spot and you're like this is where I am now. I'm a hater of this.
You can't get out. He's doing Space Jam too, man.
It's going to suck. You think so? Yeah, for sure.
In this day and age, you think it's going to suck?. Yeah.
And Warner Brothers. Did he ask you to go on it? No.
Why not? Man, I'm doing stuff, man. Okay.
Would you have done it? Absolutely. Of course.
It's a long shoot, man. What a bad friend.
Because everyone else turned on. I'm a free agent.
You know what I mean? I might be a little bit too rich for Warner Brothers blood, man. That's true.
Well, you know what he's doing. The movie is just.
You know is basically a front that he's using to try to get people to LA, circumvent the cap, give you a production credit on Space Jam 2, a little extra walking around money in your pocket. Have any of those guys reached out to you, by the way, of like when they get traded to the Lakers or they got traded to the Cavs and been like, hey, Chris, how do you, what's the best way to fit in with LeBron? Yeah.
I actually talked to Kyle Kuzma. You yeah night before last yeah it's on saturday night yeah had you talked to him before this season or yeah okay yeah so that's probably why he's he's still on the lakers he didn't get traded you gave what because i talked yeah well i don't know if i gave him any pointers he'd have to tell you that yeah uh but yeah he we you know he asked me a couple questions and you know i just

gave him some things to look for and that's what it is to take advantage of so they traded the whole team every time they were going to trade everyone they're like but kyle kuzma you're like what's going on here it's because chris bosch told kyle kuzma how to be friends with lebron days ago yeah but we're gonna just no this is good for for ratings it's a retroactive Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's perfect.

You got any last questions?

I think we're good.

All right, Chris, thank you so much.

Yeah, man.

Appreciate it. This has been a lot of fun.
You're welcome anytime. Yeah, thank you, man.
Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after me. Not a big deal.
Pink Whitney? That's what I thought. See you, fellas.
fellas i invented the thing you pigeon pink whitney for legendary moments uh the second part of the genesis halftime show is brought to you by me undies what's that i smell oh yeah it's pumpkin spice the leaves are crunchy the breeze is crisp it's officially onesie season hell yeah and officially fall fall means going back, back from vacay. Everything dies.
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That's MeUndies.com slash take. Okay, let's get to some segments.
First up, we have a Connected Dots. Mort keeps tweeting the rat emoji.
Yeah, interesting. Hmm.
Hmm. I thought in a dream that it was somehow about Schefter, which would have been so awesome if we had to enter ESPN feud.
No, they would never. It's not.
It's not because... They don't subtweet each other at ESPN.
They just show each other pictures of their dicks on their phone. It's about Ian Rappaport.
Yep. So Ian Rappaport has been a naughty boy with his little backpack, and he's been stealing information.
Apparently, now the accusation is that they're stealing scoops, copying Schefter's reports, because there were three separate instances last night where Schefter would tweet something out. Then within a minute or two afterwards, Rapp would tweet out basically the exact same report.
Yikes. And then that was followed by a Mort tweet.
Of a rat. Of a rat.
First there was one rat, then two, then three. I said it was like the plot of The Departed, where at the end the rat means a rat, at the end of it when they zoom in on it.
It's a rat. Who would have thought that Chris Mortensen is ESPN's attack dog? Who would have thought Chris Mortensen knew how to work emojis? He probably just does a thing where he types in.
Rat. He Googles rat and then copy and paste that in.
I love it. I do too.
And we need it. We need some more insider versus insider.
Spice it up. Yeah, spice it up with some rats.
Rappaport needs someone on NFL Network. Rappaport.
Rappaport. Rappaport.
He needs to start doing it back because I'm sure you could flip the switch and Shepter has done the same thing. Tweets the cheese? Tweets the cheese back.
No, he needs to get someone on NFL Network that does this, like, fights Mort back. Basically, he needs to start going back and forth.
He needs to get one of his most trusted sources to give Mort a fake report, have Mort tweet it, and then tweet the cheese. That's not a bad idea.
Yeah. Like you just ate the cheese.
Get it, buddy. Or get Jane Slater to start tweeting just what should the counter to Mortensen be? If there was an emoji besides cheese, to fire back at him.
It's a cat or a cat eats the rat. yeah uh yeah okay vigo mortensen we got this we got this from promises showing up naked and kicking the shit out of rapaport i just love this type of drama because rapaport and schefter i think combined might weigh 250 pounds that's two little little guys just like scrapping out.
They're fighting in the 120. They're wrestling in the 125-pound division.
They both can't. They're too short to ride.
Let's do it. Yeah, God help you if Ken Rosenthal gets involved somehow.
I would pay so much money to see the three of them battle it out. Prisco? Yes.
Prisco would win, obviously. See win.
See ya. Yeah, see ya.
See ya. He'd kick him out right away.
All right, let's do our PMT Sports Biz Minute. Good morning, this is Jake Marsh with the PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Unfortunately, one of the big storylines from the NFL season so far has been the amount of quarterbacks who have gone down. Drew Brees, Big Ben, Nick Foles, Sam Darnold.
I mean,

it's just tough to see. So these teams turn their second stringers, of course, to take snaps under center.
And that got me thinking, what the heck does a position on a depth chart have to do with a piece of string? Well, the answer goes back to the time of medieval archery when a man needed a second string for his bow. If his first string broke, he could take out his second and proceed as necessary.
Today's guest, Chris Bosh, hauls in one of the biggest rebounds in NBA history. Game 6, 2013 NBA Finals.
In his career, Bosh totaled 7,592 boards and on the court, he earned $239,063,622. Do the math, bam, that's more than 31 grand per rebound.
Not too shabby. That's your PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Mr. Cat and Mr.
Commenter, back to you. Thanks, Jake.
Very cool. Very cool, Jake.
Very cool, Jake. And now, before we do guys on chicks, we have a Mike Tomlin quote generator.
Yeah, so Mike Tomlin has been given some press conferences recently. What with the health of Big Ben and everything being in question.
He's had a couple fire all-time Mike Tomlin takes. And I've got – I actually have three Mike Tomlin quotes, one of which is not actually said by Mike Tomlin.
So it's like two truths and a lie. Which one of these did not come from him? Okay, this is Mike Tomlin talking about.
So I'll guess at the end.

Yes.

This is Mike Tomlin talking about what's important in Sunday's game,

what they're looking for on offense.

We're looking for analytically winnable possession downs.

Ooh.

Okay.

Then this is Mike Tomlin after the game being asked about putting in a backup

quarterback.

You have to overcome adversity, and we undercame it. Okay.
And the third one, talking about getting ready for next week, the 49ers secondary is a fundamentalist outfit. I'm going to say number two is fake.
You nailed it. Yep.
No such thing as undercoming. Well, but Mike Tomlin might use it.
I would be shocked if he hasn't used it in the past. The fundamentalist thing, that is something that Mike Tomlin says about everybody.
Yeah. I went back through Twitter and I looked at all these quotes from his press conferences before.
He's called the Cowboys, the Jaguars, the Giants, the 49ers, and the Steelers all fundamentalist. The Tea Party.
All fundamentalist teams. Yeah.
Yeah, the Berka defense. It covers everything.
Mike Tomlin, I would love to just Dr. Olomalu that brain.
Oh, my God. Just look through it.
Yeah. Tell the truth.
You tell the truth. Okay, Hank.
Guys on chicks. Hey, guys.
I'm from New England, and I'm a big Patriots. Actually, this one sucks.
What's up, boys? So my boyfriend had a couple of friends over and we were talking about that's fucking hate against the Patriots right there do your pod alright whatever I'll read it you're the one that's downplaying Patriots fans hey guys I'm from New England so I'm a big Patriots fan but I went to college in Ohio the past two guys I've dated and my current boyfriend have all been Browns fans what does this say about my personality am I a sucker for the lovable losers that are the Cleveland Browns do I secretly want to be a browns fan and be constantly disappointed because being a patriots fan has gotten boring because we're just so damn good all the time true like we already know we're going to win the super bowl when it's week two please advise i think you're not dating a cat you went to college in oh yeah i think i think that's what it says yeah you went to college in ohio right so that's really what what does your personality say to to go live ohio state i I assume she say, which is Ohio in Ohio. Right.
So that's really what, what does your personality say to go live at Ohio State, I assume, did she say? Which is Ohio. Ohio, I see.
Ohio's got the fifth most porn stars. Mm-hmm.
That's a good fact. What's up, boys, especially diehard cheesehead PFT? Is the new Packers, is the Packers new and improved defense signs of a potential postseason run? The cornerback do is much improved and the D-line is very impressive.
Thanks, boys. Oh, wow.
Okay. Damn, she flexed on us.
I think she knows more about football than I do. Damn.
Yeah. Yeah, Matt LaFleur.
He's a defensive specialist. So, yeah, this is the new look Packers.
I can't tell you how much it bothers me, makes me mad, makes me sad that the Packers might be good again. Oh, they're really good.
They're not really good. I forgot.
They defeated us. Fucking Kirk Cousins, any other quarterback wins that game.
Any other quarterback beats him in the first two games. I have a fun stat here.
This isn't really about the Packers. Yeah, I said it.
But I forgot to mention it at the start. So fun stat alert.
So any other quarterback would have beat them in the first game, meaning Kirk Cousins would have beat them in the first

game. Probably.
But any other

quarterback would have beat them in the second game. Meaning

Mitch could have beat them in the second game. Got it.
Yes.

Okay. Noted.
Fun stat alert.

If the Chiefs weren't allowed

to play offensive football inside their

opponent's 20-yard line this year,

they would still be averaging 22

and a half points per game and have

the league's 11th best offense. By comparison, the Bears are averaging 9 and a total points using the entire length of the field.
You never mentioned the Redskins. Well, it's nut-cutting time on Monday, Big Cat.
We're going to find out once and for all. Go in and out a Redskin fan.
Who the superior offense is on Monday. The Bears are the Redskins.
That was a fun fact. You're a Packers fan, a Patriots fan a Dolphins fan yeah keep going that's it uh Flacco fan yep who else um Philip Rivers fan Philip Rivers fan all right go ahead Hank hey by the way we forgot when we were talking to Chris Bosch earlier about like coaches and players that started to look like the mascots Mike Mike Shanahan literally developed red skin after he started coaching in Washington.

Well, his tanning salon.

That's true.

Good point.

Hey, guys.

My roommate and her boyfriend were dating for a year and a half,

and then she found out he cheated on her, and they, quote-unquote, broke up.

Flash forward to the next week, and they're all good,

and by the next weekend, he was back partying with us.

We were all kind of shocked, but we went along with it. We went

to the bar and got drinks and sat down in a booth

and apparently they were downstairs fighting.

They came back up

and he started calling his friends

F-words and he

walked out of the bar and left my roommate

at the bar with us crying. We walked her home

and his roommates told her about the numerous times

that he cheated on her and she made it seem like it was

over for good. Now, like two

weeks after that, they still fuck all

the time and it disgusts me and I don't know what to

I'm going to go ahead and get it. when his roommates told her about the numerous times that he cheated on her.
She made it seem like it was over for good. Now, like two weeks after that, they still fuck all the time, and it disgusts me, and I don't know what to do.
All caps, help. Send her this clip.
Stand up for yourself, girl. Fuck him.
No, no, no. You don't want to say that.
Don't fuck him. Don't fuck him anymore.
Give him a Pete Prisco. See ya.
I'll be honest with you. I lost the plot of that story about half.
Basically, he just keeps cheating and she keeps bringing him back. You got to see him.
You got to see him. Something about that bad boy.
Yeah. Stand up for yourself.
Girl power. Hey, boys, especially dad cat.
So long story short, I slept on and off with a dude for a few months and he was basically super vanilla before sleeping with me. The only weird kink he has was putting my tongue in his ear and trade for him degrading me in bed, which he was super scared to do.
Wait, wait, wait. And trade for degrading her in bed.
The only thing, the only kink was having you tongue his ear so that then he could degrade you in bed? This sounds to me like it's a little tit for tat where she wanted to be degraded, but the only way he would do it was if she put her tongue in his ear. Okay, so that doesn't count as the only kink.
That's a pretty big kink. Yeah.
He's also an AWL and is the person who got me listening to PMT. Just wanted to give him a shout out for being a baby back bitch.
Oh, damn. That's kind of cool that we've been in the same year as your girlfriend has.
Damn. this is reminds me of I don't think they do this anymore but in college the Badger Herald which is the

Wisconsin We've been in the same year as your girlfriend has. Damn.
This reminds me of, I don't think they do this anymore, but in college, the Badger Herald, which is the Wisconsin newspaper, used to do shout outs. And it was just anonymous notes of people just ripping each other.
Yeah, it's pretty good. Just fucking crushing each other.
College newspapers were just the original message board. Yeah, it was fucked up.
Yeah. Hey, boys, especially PETA FT.
My boyfriend hasn hasn't watched his jersey my boyfriend hasn't watched his patriots jersey since december since they haven't lost since then damn it's been that long and smells like dust farts and beer he says he won't wash it until they lose should i wash it secretly or let him wear it until they lose he'll know if you wash it also it's, it's like a dog when you come home being able to smell somebody else on you,

like another person's dog.

You can wash it, dude,

because we found out on Monday's show

that the only jinx that matters for the Patriots

is Ernestine Bayless.

So that supersedes all other jinxes.

You're fine to wash it.

As long as Ernestine Bayless doesn't rudely

try to walk into a room that Skip is in at any moment at any time you're fine by the way I I kind of believe in that stuff though like not washing a jersey of course that's that shit's real yeah for sure also the smellier it gets the more effective it is well and you also feel like you're like you're a real player it's like I gotta put on my jersey yeah there's war. There's something whack about seeing another man at Buffalo Wild Wings in a perfectly new jersey.
It's like, come on, get out of here, bandwagon. All right, last one.
What's up, boys? My boyfriend has one outfit that he calls his quote unquote dress up outfit that he wears whenever he has to dress up for anything. Yeah.
Nice jacket. Every time we've gone to my parents' house, he wears the same outfit.
same outfit yep my mom noticed it and grew concerned so i decided to buy him a new outfit no he still wears the same old dress up outfit is this normal or is he just being lazy and doesn't care about the stuff i bring him to totally what do what should i do slash say nothing if he looks good nothing that's listen if if you if you're a guy and you find something that works, you run that play till it doesn't work anymore. So it sounds like it's not working, though.
No, it sounds like it's working. It's just people are confused.
He got a girlfriend. Yeah, right.
Yeah. He got a girlfriend who's nice enough to buy him new clothes.
He got a girlfriend who feels secure enough in the relationship to introduce him to her family.

That shit's working.

Really, the only move that you have left is to accidentally spill something on it and stain it.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

Because he'll never go anywhere nice.

He just, whoa.

Every time you try to go to a nice date.

I guess that part of my life's over.

Yeah, he's like, nope, sorry.

Don't have my outfit anymore.

It's like taking Superman's cape away from him. Do not do that do not do that all right uh we'll see everyone

on friday love you guys

It's all getting away, now I'm alone, I'm not seeing you, I'm saying that you know, today's my day to find an emotion, I'm coming for your love of dreams, I'm coming for your love. Thank you.