Jerry Ferrara (Turtle From Entourage), Hard Knocks Finale, And Guys On Chicks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Jerry Ferrara. Turtle.
Turtle. Turtle.
From Entourage. Entourage.
Yeah. Who doesn't love Entourage? So we have Turtle on from Entourage, and we also have Hard Knocks Recap.
We have the season finale of Hard Knocks. We're going to give it the final score on the ball scale.
Hot seat, cool throne, Zeke watch. We're going to do some power rankings, and guys on chicks.
A nice, quick, tight show before football really starts on Thursday night. But wait, Big Cat, football's back.
Not yet. No, I won't start.
That'll be on Friday's show and then on Monday's show again. Nashville, get ready for one of the biggest parties of the summer in Music City.
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Okay, let's go. of work to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in. And then I can't blame all on the sun.
Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to electric avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.
It's Part of My Take, presented by Bar School Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App.
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Save some animals. Today is Wednesday, September 4th.
And Luke Wilson is a hero. It was great to see him on the show.
It was tough to see him get cut. We kind of had an understanding that he was probably, the math didn't work out.
He texted us after the show and was like, yeah, I'm probably going to get cut. You got to change the math.
Make sure you get those shirts here fast. Good news is he's getting a tryout with the Saints, and we overnighted the shirts to him, so got a little product placement on Hard Knocks.
Best-looking cut player of all time? I'd out of all the ones that him and well much better than chad johnson yeah when he got cut that was that was a mess in hard knocks so we had the hard knock season finale we will get to a final score oh by the way luke wilson also shout out to go out uh calling tails and winning in the coin toss in seattle tails never fails never fails because it rhymes also he had probably the quote of all hard knocks this year it is what it is it's not what it's not it's not what it's not so we had uh basically this the season finale of hard knocks was an encapsulation of the whole season where it was very boring except for john gruden gruden was awesome john gruden giving the uh like quizzing everyone where Danny Woodhead went to college, talking about dirty eyes in the backfield. Got to have clean eyes back there.
I don't want these Bob Costas pink eyes. Go east, west.
His old butt cheek eyes back here. Olivier Vernon, he said that he's so good he eats glass and nails for breakfast.
And just basically John Gruden being John Gruden. The best part by far was when John Gruden started getting involved in the quarterback drills to make sure that they were scrambling.
So he lined up as a defensive tackle, like a three technique, and he was just running at him, screaming letters. The way that John Gruden runs is so fucking funny.
He runs like he doesn't move his arms. He looks like a penguin in Antarctica when a scientist gets too close to his eggs.
He just charges directly at him. It was so awesome.
And squealing and making little funny grunt noises that were just so perfect. It was John Gruden at his absolute happiest.
He probably won't be that happy for a long time, but I agree. If the NFL wants to combat any upstart leagues, just have a stream of John Gruden chasing quarterbacks.
It was amazing. For hours upon hours.
I'd watch that over most sports. Honestly, I would listen to John Gruden just calling players by their numbers for about 30 minutes nonstop.
Look at 33 there. Peterman's hurt.
It's sick. He was so mad.
Look at 45. 45, he'll put his head on you real quick.
Dirty eyes. That's as close as a real football guy like John Gruden will ever get to stats or sabermetrics is just saying the numbers of a player's jersey.
And counting back from three. Oh, yeah, he's really good at that.
And Antonio Brown got the hard knocks bump. Yes, he did.
He looks like he's all the way back and is going to be unstoppable. Jumping out of a pool.
The best way to get back for football training is to jump inside of a pool. He had a stationary bike that was bolted down to the bottom of his pool that he could work there's something about i think it's because the regular population 99.9 percent of us use pools to relax in and hang out in and pee in and then when athletes get in them and train you're like that is so badass it's like they're training on the moon that's actually a great point because you look at some of the all-time Instagram workout warriors.
James Harrison on

a beach volleyball court, he's

throwing medicine balls around. Dude.

On a massage table, he's

getting 200 needles jammed

into his back for acupuncture.

They take our culture

of being lazy and

they turn it into a gym. Right.
Lifting

couches and throwing them around the yard.

And Antonio Brown,

all he needed to do was jump out of the pool and I would have

Thank you. culture of being lazy and they turn it into a gym right lifting couches and throwing them around the yard and and antonio brown like if all he needed to do is jump out of the pool and i would have been like this guy's the greatest wide receiver of all time yeah and i mean when when john gruden got really into metallica playing in the morning like that he doesn't need a cup of coffee he just needs a song from the black album to come on and and he's good to go for the entire day and it's actually kind of funny because when they were riding into work they were listening to the radio and to me it feels almost like Metallica is too modern of a band for a football coach they're usually stuck like 30 years whatever the coach that hired them the first time to be an assistant whatever that guy listened to is usually what Bob Seager coaches exactly yeah the Dan Campbell definitely watched that scene and wept quietly wherever he is right now he's like that's what i'm talking that is my yeah yeah um we finished the season perfectly though with a look forward and mark davis standing awkwardly in his dead father's office that nothing has changed including the whiteboard the whiteboard al davis's uh keys to i think it was a drafting or putting together a football team a fast wide receiver no here we go ready this is what it said one power okay two big people okay three is this is this just not people he wants to fuck no this is this is what how you make a winning football team three Three, pass pro.
Four, defense. So four, defense all the way to fourth.
Five, play calling. Six, a quarterback that can hit the uprights from 50 yards out on his knees.
Seven, spending the last 10 years looking like a walking member of Tales from the Crypt and scaring everyone in every press conference. Eight, doing cocaine all night with Hunter S.
Thompson and eating meatloaf all day with John Madden. Nine, birthing a fail son who wears white sunglasses and tucks in his shirt and has an awesome haircut.
I cleaned it up at the end. Awesome haircut.
Awesome haircut, yeah. And great taste in Vance.
And great taste in Vance. So, yeah, the Las Vegas Raiders are coming.
I get so excited when I see the construction of a new stadium. I don't know what it is, but those steel beams, it's just like, fuck, this is going to be sick.
And it's going to look exactly like every other stadium. Yeah, the time-lapse porn on that is incredible.
Every time, who is it? Is it Andrew Siciliano or is it Rich Eisen? One of those guys, whenever they fly into L.A., they fly right over the new L.A. stadium, and they take a picture of it every single time.
Is this where our office is going to be? I will never look at another man's picture out of his own plane window. That's just guy code.
But when there's a stadium being built on the ground, I can't help but stop every time. Yes, it's fantastic to watch.
So finale of Hard Knocks, balls. I'm giving it 2.8 balls on the five-ball system say i'd say two and a half it wasn't very good it wasn't that great i was gruden saved it i would have liked a little mike mayock yeah and there was some of the mayock isms mike mayock refused to be on camera basically like you notice that usually in hard knocks we get the awkward conversation was like hey man great things for us.
If you need me to back you up, I will call every team and get you another job. And then the guy leaves and the general manager is like, who is that again? We didn't get that weird conversation.
What I missed most about that is the standard issue general manager cargo shorts that they give to everybody in the league. I remember Tannenbaum on the Jets had probably the best pair of cargo shorts that he would wear every single day.
And they act so sad and have a seat. Like, man, this was the hardest thing ever.
It's like, no, dude, that was cut number. That was the 84th guy on the roster.
He didn't even sniff the team. And then they're always like, and if any other team needs a recommendation, we'll give you a great one.
We got you. Despite the fact that we just cut you immediately.
We have no tape of you, and we actually didn't even know you were here. You literally didn't make the Raiders.
Yeah. So if the Patriots want to give you a sniff, we'll be sure to give them a high recommendation.
Sure, sure. Yeah, it's tough.
Because I don't want to talk about another man's job, because there are some players that got cut that I think Brandon Marshall will play this year. I'm pretty sure Luke Wilson will play this year.
Definitely will. Definitely will play this year.
Try it out with the Saints. Yeah.
We'll put a good word. That's right.
We'll give our guy down there a call about him. But, yeah, it was definitely missing a little je ne sais quoi.
Yeah. Hank? I would give it like three and a half balls.
The Luke Wilson montage with the music and him wearing the shirt, walking out, that was a tearjerker. That was enough to get you.
It was gut-wrenching, yeah. It was good in an artistic way.
I like the hip-hop remix of the old NFL songs. That was good.
The shit you played that the whole time. And the Antonio Brown montage, I was like, oh my god, he's going to be dominant.
Don't change our opinions. I thought it was pretty good.
All right, so it lands somewhere around three-ish balls. Yeah, around three.
How many balls for the season? That's what we're saying. Not just today's show, the whole season.
I gave it 2.8. Oh, I'd go three and a half.
Three and a half, four. Okay, so yeah, we landed somewhere around three because PFT went two and a half.
So that's the ball system. I just needed – here's what I needed.
I needed some Mike Mayock, and the fact that they gave me about ten minutes of a Gruden son that was not Deuce Gruden really pissed me off. And more Mark Davis.
Mark Davis puts asses in the seats. That's a fact.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's true. It's one way or the other.
Whether you're repulsed or enthralled, you will watch. People will show up to look at his ass on a seat.
Standing in an office. Just Mark Davis in a pair of white pants.
Yeah, and he tucks in. He does the thing where he tucks in his quick way to figure out if a guy's a total weirdo in head case.
They tuck their thumbs into their jean pockets. Yeah.
That's like, look at it. If you're watching on BarstowGold.com slash PMT, sign up right now.
This, like standing like this, that's a fucking weird thing to do. That's pretty strange.
Also, the guy that has, if we're going thumbs, the guy with the thumb hole cut out that he makes himself of his own sleeve. Yeah.
That's always kind of a weird move. All right, so that was hard knocks.
We have, before we get to hot seat, cool thrown, a little Zeke watch. Zeke watch was on full effect in Dallas today.
They had the people at the airport. They had a chopper following the car.
Zeke, it seems like they're about to sign him. It seems like Jerry Jones is about to be like, hey, Zeke, I'll give you $10 million under the table if you just sign.
I feel like feel like is this crazy to say but anytime a guy like he's gonna play on Sunday yeah I'm pretty sure he will Melvin Gordon I don't think is going to unless they trade him and like I don't root for injuries but I always would find it funny if Zeke signed for a shitload of money and then even faked an injury I'm sure fuck you guys I'm sure he wouldn't be completely heartbroken if you get a brand new contract and then broke his foot yeah he'd probably be okay with that long term uh yeah so the cowboys seem to be going with a strategy where they've signed jalen smith they signed lael collins earlier they signed demarcus lawrence this offseason to a very long contract zach martin is he had a huge extension i think what jerry jones is doing by putting together all these extensions right now as the triplets are still waiting for theirs is he's doing the old we got free donuts in the break room email. Right.
And so the last person to get in there is going to miss out on all the donuts. And so Ezekiel Elliott saw all these contracts coming in.
He's like, I got to get my ass out of Cabo and get into the break room until they eat the last bear claw. I also think Jerry Jones, one, the cap's going to go up.
And I think Jerry Jones has enough power that he can actually just make the cap go up. Like he could go to the owner's meeting and be like, hey, guys, cap's going up because I need to sign everyone.
Two, Jerry Jones. Is Jerry Jones being so smart that he sees the future of football and it's going to actually just be seven on seven? And so he's like, if I only pay nine guys, I'll be fine.
It's a very fine line between Jerry Jones being too smart and being too drunk. I don't know which side of the line he's on at this given moment.
They're going to pay nine guys like 90% of the cap. I think he's just hoping that nobody has the balls to call him out on a salary cap violation.
Yeah, slash he's just going to pay everyone under the table. He can just be like, you're doing some fuzzy math there.
Someone get Jerry Jones' Bitcoin account. Oh, yeah.
Well, yeah, that'll take a long time to explain to Jerry Jones with the Bitcoin situation. Something's up.
And then the other news, speaking of money and contracts, Jared Goff, our guy, Jared Goff, got paid. So shout out Jared Goff.
We all have Cash App. Why don't you spread the wealth, dude? Yeah, what is it, $110 million? I'm not trying to wallet peep on jared goff but and i'm not even trying to ask for a lot like i'm just asking for us like one game check not 75 000 each one million off the truck is is nothing it's that truck don't even notice it for the animals marking that for a full delivery you own your house jared you're fine could you've already paid that thing off you could make the argument that maybe he would have only gotten $107 million guaranteed if we weren't always telling Sean McVay would have a good quarterback.

What if he said, I'll give you guys that money and a house, but we have to move to L.A.?

You can't go in the water.

Deal.

That deal is still on the table.

If you want to move to L.A. tomorrow, but you can never go into any water at all, we can do it.
Hank just did the Twitter question of, fellas, which would you rather have? A million dollars in a hot tub or get run over by a truck? Yeah. Tough question.
Would I rather get a free house in Southern California or not have a free house? Was that the question? Win the lottery, you have to fuck your mom.

Go.

Tough call.

Life's full of important choices.

Damn, I'll go lottery.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm going to go lottery. But either way, Jared, your favorite podcast.

I'm not saying, but.

Or, I mean, we could just give him some ideas that he could invest in.

As opposed to just being like, give us money.

Or, here's where we should go.

Follow along here, guys.

What if we did, like, a court. You know, like uh when you go to a final four super bowl the eagles which i already mentioned this podcast that's two for the eagles they'll do a corporate show for like chase and it will be 300 people in a private place and they'll play a whole set jared for one million dollars we will do a private pardon my take for you yeah done and we'll perform uh drink paint done live in your backyard how about that how much money and an acoustic one million cash an acoustic version of chalk and you can't tell anyone that you gave us a cash because i don't want to pay the taxes no it's all under the table jerry jones style yeah i mean or if you want to invest in our ideas you you live in la you could get boner dogs off the ground how much money do you think you're best in the tumble franchise yeah you could um here's an app that you can invest in i just invented uber but for firefighters so if you see a brush fire nice just hit a button and somebody shows up we'll show up and pisses on it yeah we'll show up how much money do you think jared goff could give us before his account was like yeah i don't think so man because that's really what it comes down to right it's like five to ten million i don't know if it's that but it's definitely if you got a hundred thousand each right like i'm i'm trying to get the bar low here no no accountant is like hey jared what's that 300 preach art of the deal hold on dude hold on't want $100,000 cash? Yeah, but you start high.
No one. We already started high.
Now we're going. Now we're settling.
We'll just settle for that. $100,000 cash.
That's fine. That's fine.
How hilarious would it be? Seriously, if we woke up tomorrow, ha-ha, and all three of us had $100,000. That would be such a good prank, Jared.
Oh, God. Oh, man.
You get us so good. You're good, dude.
You're so funny. All right.
Let's do hot seat, cool, throw them. Get the turtle.
Hank. My hot seat is Mets.
Wait, real quick. He has to get a better Tesla than Blake, right? That's got to be his next move.
Like the one step up from what Blake has. Yes, he does.
He does. Hot seat Mets.
They are basically their season's over. Explain.
They blow a seven-run lead in the ninth. Seven runs, including a three-run walk-off home run to Nationals.
To who? The Nationals. Is Natitude back? I think so.
I feel like this is... The place was rocking all 20 people that were there.
I've watched three Nats games in the last three and a half weeks. There you go.
And now I'm about to start... I think Natitude's back, guys.
The Mets, it might be because of who we work with and everything.

I've been rooting for the Mets because obviously the Red Sox are out of it.

I hate the Yankees, and I'm in New York, and so they're always on TV.

And it's like, oh, if the Mets are good, it'd be fun to watch.

And they just cannot seem to put it together.

And now it's clearly over.

Yeah, but my timeline, there's something about the Mets losing.

The meltdowns are so – I mean, Frank the Tank was – yeah. That was something else.
I thought he was going to choke on his shirt. Kevin always melting down like Clem, all these guys, and it's probably just because I know them so well, but their meltdowns are just – they're on a different level.
And they always know it's coming too. Yes, they always know it's coming.
You know what I think is part of it is Mr. Met, just the mascot, the big goofy baseball.
And Mrs. Met, yeah.

With the giant smile that's always on his face.

Yeah.

Like, seeing that guy upset over a heartbreaking loss is classic comedy.

What did he give the finger last year?

All-time mascot moment.

Yeah, that was pretty great.

All right, what's your cool throne?

Then my cool throne is eating ass.

Oh, good.

Go on.

We're back.

Flume, one of your guys' favorite artists, I'm sure. I love Flume, yeah.
He was doing a concert. He's kind of got a potty mouth, huh? No, he was doing a concert, and someone had a sign in the crowd, and it just said, Flume doesn't eat ass.
And he brought his girlfriend on stage and started eating ass. He did? Yeah.
He started eating her ass? Fuck yeah, dude. Way to go, Flume.
She's ride or die. That's awesome.
Literally. Yeah, because that's like one of those things that if you have no, like, heads up that you're going to eat ass, you can't prep the ass.
Imagine getting that triggered by an ass eating sign. Imagine if she was just sitting there swamp ass on the side of the stage.
No dude wipes. Just farting up.
Imagine she was like, oh, thank God, Flume is on stage so I can sit here and fart Uh huh Yeah that's That's a risk Good for her Good for him Who says true love is dead Yeah How old is Flume Who knows You know Levitate Insane Hyper real Yeah of course You know these songs Wall fuck All the classics Wall fuck Yeah I had my My first kiss to first kiss to wallfuck. Australian record producer, Flume.
Oh, okay. That loses a little bit of the coolness because in Australia, you eat ass like you're shaking hands.
That's like a classic hello. All right.
What do you got, PFT? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think it's not done.
Oh, whoa. Sorry.
I thought we were doing a tight show. No.
No. What do you mean? You got as many cool throws as you want.
My other one is people looking to invest. So I'm sure we have a lot of young entrepreneurial listeners.
Maybe have a little bit of extra cash. They want to make that money work for them.
Larry shirts and stocks are now back on sale as of today. Okay.
So if you are a first-time listener around this time of the season, Larry is is our gold fish larry six larry six don't ask what happened to the first five new larry six t-shirts oh yo grab them grab them so we have larry shirts so larry enters into the las vegas super contest every year we have entered i actually what is the las vegas super it's a contest of all the best gamblers in the world and uh larry is one of them Costs a lot of money to enter. A lot of money to enter.
I tweeted out the card so he's officially entered. He's going to pick five games every single week.
And if you buy a t-shirt, a Larry t-shirt, you will get stock in owning Larry. It comes with a certificate.
Yeah. And in 2016, he finished 50th just outside the money.

If he finishes in the money, we will divvy up the money with everyone who owns the stock after processing fees for us. And it's up to what? Two million if you win the whole thing.
Yeah. Something like that.
Remember the process. But yeah.
But two million dollars. You can take whatever.
It's like owning a racehorse. Essentially, you get to frame your stock, put it on your wall and you have made an active investment.
As a matter of fact, a matter of fact, if maybe you just came into some money and you're looking to make a great investment, then why not just buy like a million dollars worth of stock in Goldfish? Yeah, Pump and Dump. What other stocks come with a free t-shirt too? I can't name one.
Microsoft. Really? Yeah, they send you a polo.
Well, it's swag. Yeah, like a nice golf t-shirt.
This is a polo. It's pretty nice.
Probably Fire. Was that Billy McFarlane's company? Fanatics.
Yeah. They might.
I mean, they're a t-shirt company. You don't know this, though.
No, I don't. We made all this stuff.
What are stonks? None. None.
What are stonks? None. Because I've seen the stonk meme.
We should just put the stonk meme. Stonks are on the rise.
Yeah, so you'll actually get a free stonk with Larry. I have no idea what that means.
And stonks are going through the roof right now. No, but seriously, buy it because it's fun to root along with Larry's picks.
And he was 60% in 2016. And you can say that you own a goldfish.
A gambling goldfish that will do better than thousands of people in the Las Vegas Supercontain. Including us, probably.
We're not in it, but yeah. He makes five picks a week.
Yeah. So you'll, yeah, follow along with Larry.
All right, so go buy a Barstool Sports store. PFT.
We're done, Hank? Yes, sir. Okay, my hot seat is the New England Patriots.
Oh. Uh-oh.
Yeah, New England Patriots on the hot seat because Mike Tomlin gave a press conference today, and Mike Tomlin is back. He's had an entire off season to just, I assume all he's been doing is reading like Ralph Waldo Emerson and doing dizzy bat races simultaneously because of how cryptic his Mike Tomlin isms have been today during his press conference.
I'm going to read you all three of them. The first one was if you have red paint, you paint your bar barn red.
Yes. Fact.
Football guy quote. Makes sense.
Fact. It's true.
This is what he said about the Patriots atmosphere. Cooks like to be in the kitchen.
Okay. And then the last one was a nose guard is like blockbuster video you better diversify also fact

there's only one blockbuster left

in the US

and you can't diversify if there's just one store

there is one though

it's in like Washington or something

I saw it it was kind of cool

I need to go to it

the bottom line is Mike Tomlin

he talks like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs

if you translated his quotes

into German and then took the German

translation and translated them back into English. Yeah.
That's basically how you get a Mike Tomlin quote about doing something that you don't want to do. He's in peak performance.
He's mid-season form. And you think that means it's going to translate to the field? I think if I were the Patriots, I would be very careful around Mike Tomlin.
Or would you say that? He honestly sounds like he's gotten insane. Let me ask you a question, Hank.
That's a bad thing. What do you think you should use with your red paint? Is that what it was? Yeah, Hank, if you had red paint in a barn, what would you do with it? I'd paint it red.
Yeah, there you go. So it sounds like you're Tomlin's, Dan.
Yeah, it took you a second. Well, you got it.
Okay, your cool throne. My cool throne is Dan Snyder.
So not only is Natitude back, which is great for the District of Champions, D.C., Dan Snyder is in great form because the Washington Post just did a long article about the 20 years of glory since Snyder has bought the team, in which they have, I believe, three playoff wins and eight head coaches. And they got a quote.
They tried to find some people to give good quotes, positive quotes about Snyder's tenure, and they found one. Do you know who they had that had positive things to say? Dan Snyder.
Well, probably if he had interviewed and he wasn't such a fucking recluse, but it was Steven Jones from the Cowboys. Nice.
So the Cowboys ownership thinks that the Redskins ownership, R-Words ownership, is doing a great job. They said, I've got nothing but respect for Dan and what he can get done there in Washington.
He is a visionary. That's perfect.
So, yeah. Your rival, your chief rival is saying you're doing a great job.
That's actually the best compliment that you've ever given the R-Words to say that the Cowboys are still the rival. that's that honestly makes me feel better as a fan that's like they technically are just you know historically and all that shit talking them up it's like um this you'll appreciate this hank like when bill belichick has to find something nice to say about an opponent even when he knows that they're vastly superior and he like i don't know he finds something finds their like line their back of linebackers like he's got he's got good tape or he says like uh andy dalton you gotta appreciate this guy's effort on tackling when he throws an interception yeah love it facts that nude also cool throwing is just bill bill belichick football porn because that yeah that's sabin belichick documentary looks pretty fucking sick it does, it does.
All right. My hot seat is conversion therapy.

I don't know if you guys saw this. You hear about this.
Do you see this? The founder of the nation's biggest conversion therapy for homosexuals came out as gay. Oh.
Never saw that coming. You think? Never saw that plot twist coming.
Yep. Spent years and years trying to tell people that they shouldn't be gay.
And then after years and years of pseudo, no, just fake science and trying to convert people, he's like, oh, actually. Well, he was using real science to commit fake science, which is like electrocuting people into thinking they're straight.
They're done. Conversion therapy canceled.
Okay. Already was, but now it's like really canceled.
There's got to be some unreal like Facebook comment posts about people. Oh, God.
Converted and then are now upset. Yeah.
Uh-huh. That's yeah.
That's that Facebook is popping on this. Somebody that's converted.
That's just been biting the inside of their cheek bloody for the last 20 years. I'm straight.
I never saw this one coming. And then my cool throne is me and you guys.
I don't know if you guys looked at the NFL week one schedule. I did.
I like every single game. I peaked.
I'm going to be on fire on Sunday. I'm pretty confident.
I'm going to bet every game and I'm going to win every game. We'll get into our picks on fire.
Knock if you're with me. Yeah, knock on wood.
Chad Vaughn State. Dude, I looked at it.
I was like, winner, winner, winner. Just went down.
And I was doing everything. I was doing overs, unders, dogs, favorites.
I see the board so clearly. There's no way this is going to blow up in my face.
It does look like the most easy week to win at all times, doesn't it? It's like a little bit dangerous. Falcons plus four against the Vikings.
Every underdog. Oh, give it to me.
You like the Jags plus three and a half? I do. I love them.
Plus three and a half at home against the Chiefs. Every jackass out there is going to be betting on the Chiefs.
Not me. I'm going to take the Jags and win because I'm smart.
Yeah, so this is not going to come back and bite us. We got this.
So week one coming up, we're going to do all our picks on Friday. You talked me into a Moneyline Parlay yeah once okay yeah here it is my big idea once the word money line parlay comes across my desk okay i have to explore i gotta sniff around a little how does this lose the philadelphia eagles at home against the r words win well seahawks at home against the bengals the ravens in miami All the money line parlay, even money.

How does that lose?

Fitzmagic is the only one that loses.

No way.

No way.

Okay.

PFT is correct.

No way.

Fitzmagic always.

That cannot lose.

It cannot lose.

And it's a bunch of guys like, oh, the team's giving up.

No.

We've given up on the team.

Like, fuck no.

There's still 53 guys on this roster.

Cannot lose.

They're backs against the wall.

Yeah.

Yeah. I am so.
Brian Flores is pissing off his team so much that they want to stick it to him by winning. I'm going to put all $100,000 that Jared Goff gives us overnight as a joke on that parlay.
Speak for yourself because my Moneyline parlay is going to be the Eagles, the Seahawks, the Chargers, and the Saints. Ooh, I don't know about the Chargers.
Here's the thing. You can't go wrong.
You really can never truly lose a Moneyline Parlay on all the favorites. It's never happened.
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World famous Hooters. Hooters hooters moneyball.com do it hooters everyone there is very nice that's the best love it love you hooters thank you for being a sponsor of the show okay here he is jerry ferrara aka turtle okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is jerry ferrara do we introduce you as turtle or is that past uh i mean it's a judgment call on your part yeah i don't know i'm fine with it if you think it's appropriate then let's go let's go good cop bad cop i can call you turtle and he can call you well this is the way don't call him turtle you guys fight you used to have a podcast i mean you know the media world like what i just did right there It was actually genius because I introduced you as Turtle, but I made it seem like I was asking.
Of course not. I saw everything that you just did there, and this is why you are who you are.
Yeah, so you actually are here promoting power on Starz. Yes.
So I was told that I need to ask what the hell Get the Strap means. You've never heard of that? I've heard it.
Like, I'm going to shoot you. I don't know what it is.
As a gun owner, I know it means I'm going to shoot you. Get the strap means you've never heard of that I've heard it I'm gonna shoot you I don't know what it is a gun owner I know it means I get the strap yeah that was a reference to at one point uh 50 on his Instagram 50 cent 50 cent would post some some stuff that would that would actually be like the response like oh this hat like this guy fell and got into a street fight like get the strap it became a thing became a popular hashtag i like it uh before we jump into all the career stuff and all that i want to kind of thank you because you started fat styles right yes i was a part yes i was a part of that that is the ultimate hangover sandwich i i every time i used to drive by there you had one in austin on austin texas yeah and I'd be hung over a cell and I'd drive past.
I don't know what the rules are for what you're allowed to put in a sandwich. It's like if you gave Guy Fieri the infinity gauntlet and just said, like, load this shit up.
But is there any ingredient, any appetizer ingredient you've never put on a sandwich there? I think it's covered everything pretty much. I'm sure in the beginning that was the goal.
It was supposed to be outrageous kind of. Can you even? Has anyone ever done that sort of thing? Buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks on a sandwich.
Pretty much, yeah. Best way to wash away a hangover.
Exactly. That's a little free ad there.
Throw it all in there. Appreciate it.
All right, I'm going to do the hardest question, though, first. Oh, boy.
Okay. Daniel Jones or Eli Manning? You are a diehard Knicks, Giants, Yankees fan.
I mean, Eli won two Super Bowls. You put me in the hot seat already.
Okay, so I'm going to say Eli, and I'm sure there's going to be Giant fans listening. We're going to go, really, dude? I think you roll him out there and give a shot.
Two reasons. One, I do think after the way he was benched two years ago, I think he deserves a chance.
Oh, we're going from two years now. No, he deserves a chance.
Let him go out properly. I also think that, I don't know if you want to throw the rookie in right away.
Maybe if they're one in five, then you give the rookie the nod, get him in there, but I want to see Eli at one last shot. I know we cannot continue to hang on to 2011, because now it was fun when it was like 2015.
Four years ago. Yeah, same team.
We're almost going on a decade. Okay, so then follow-up question.
How many times have you sat in Mr. Mera's suite? Never once, actually.
Have you met him? No, I have not. Interesting.
How did he get to you? This is my own... These are my own thoughts.
He did not get to me. What about this? What about you send Daniel Jones to Indy, get, like, T.Y.
Hilton back, roll Eli out there for the next five years, and now he's got a receiver. Do it.
Absolutely not. No, you're going long-term, Eli.
Yeah. That's a little bit different.
I think you can build around Eli. So you're at least willing to say that Eli, like, it's coming to an end.
Look, I'm 39 years old, and I am not an athlete. But when I go play pickup basketball, my brain knows what to do.
My body doesn't know what to do. Right, right.
So I can only imagine doing that at the pro level. But I do think he deserves a shot and see where he is after like five games.
What's your game like in pickup basketball? Now, it's a little more Andre Miller with a good three. Okay.
With a really good three. So you just run like three- line to three-point line, or are you getting dirty and trying to get some rebounds? No, I don't want to get hurt anymore.
Okay. I've gotten too many seven stitches under my eye, this tooth knocked out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm too small and old.
Okay. I really just want to shoot threes and distribute the ball.
I want to be the guy that's like, I like playing with that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good teammate. Do you at least call out picks when your teammate's about to get picked? I always call out picks because when you're my size and your teammate doesn't call out a pick and you get crushed and your neck snaps back, it's unpleasant.
I'd pick you to death. If I threw a pick on you, he'd be in the fucking body bag.
As long as my team's calling me out, I'm going to go right around you. No, I don't even know if they can call it out.
I'm going to go right around you. Have you reached the point in your pickup life where you're the one that's setting unnecessary screens and just getting waved off left and right? I don't set screens.
I know what type of you are. I try.
I try to set screens, but they just look at me and they're like, well, no, we don't need a screen. They wave you out.
I know the type of pickup guy you are. If you're hitting your shot, I'm happy you're on my team.
If you're not, I'm like, this fucking guy is not doing anything. No, that's not entirely true because I also will not shoot.
If I miss my first two, I'm not shooting anymore. Okay.
So then you're really doing nothing. No, I play D.
I got fast feet and fast hands. I'm in the passing lanes a lot.
I'm just not looking for contact. You're a disruptor, yeah.
If there's contact involved, I am avoiding that, and I feel like I've earned that right at 39 years off. You're the stuff that doesn't show up in the stat sheet, but at the end of the day, your team only loses by three or four.
I love that we're breaking down my pickup basketball. Well, I mean, it's important.
It tells a lot about a person. It's important to me.
Yeah. How's Marky Mark as a pickup basketball player? Wahlberg's a really good athlete.
I don't know how much he plays. That was a very sneaky way to say he sucks at basketball.
No, no, no, no. I don't know how much he plays.
I think he plays more golf than basketball nowadays.

But the few times I've played with him, really, really fast lefty.

So got that.

That's interesting.

Throwing you a different look with a lefty.

So Mark's a good athlete.

Okay.

When you guys were doing Entourage, how hands-on was he actually, like,

with the creation of the show and the storylines?

Was he a guy that was, like, inserting little whispering in your ear hey maybe vent should fuck this girl instead uh in the first couple of years mark was very much involved um the thing with him though is like obviously he has a lot going on a lot on his plate so it wasn't like he could take four months off and say i'm gonna come hang out on the entourage say he's doing like nine movies a year right so but in the years, to make sure we sort of got off to a good start, he was there a lot. And then he was kind of just always the presence.
Like you knew if you really had an issue or something. He's a very, very good producer.
Did he have a turtle in his crew? Yeah, I mean it's sort of based off of that. It's based off of that theory.
I mean he does have a – there was an actual Johnny Drama. Okay.
His name is Johnny Drama. Really? That's a real...
That comes from a real guy. He was like the trainer at one point.
So Entourage is based on a true story? Loosely. You could say that.
I mean, there's no person that it's like, oh, we're using this guy's exact life. But it was based on Wahlberg and his crew at a time where he was ascending to fame.

Okay.

Were they in the first episode of Entourage? Yeah. So there's a scene.
This was a long-ass time ago. There's a scene in the pilot episode of Entourage where we're walking on the Warner Brothers lot and Wahlberg crosses us and he's with the real Johnny Dramas there, his E.
His turtle. I don't know if the – because the whole who's turtle, there's been like seven guys who have claimed that they're bait turtles based on them.
Right. So I don't know.
Actually, that's such a turtle move for a bunch of people to be like, I'm turtle, but we kind of walked past each other and he talked some shit to us in the pilot. Yeah.
Yeah. That was his first appearance on the show.
Was there ever a moment? I mean, it was one of those shows where I remember vividly watching the pilot and being like, what the hell is this? This is awesome. And was there a moment where you're like, this is a huge, huge hit and just kind of soaking it all in? Or were you just because this also was your breakout.
For sure. So it's got to be a weird feeling like at what point does it become real? This is my life now.
And or does it like you just kind of hop on the roller coaster and let it run so the first season was successful in the right that there was uh it got nominated for some awards but it was not a ratings blockbuster by any stretch um i think if we were actually on any other network we may have gotten canceled because the numbers were like okay right but hbo really tries to give you a chance to develop or whatever so uh it wasn't until like midway through season two because this is how long ago it's been this was like the inception of ti-vo on demand so while people didn't watch in the moment a year went in between seasons they watched on that downtime so when we came back into season two we had gained i don't know how many new watchers but all via on demand and and tivo and stuff so it was weird because the numbers weren't great but then we came into like midway through season two i think it's when we did the vegas episode uh where there's like a fight with seth green's character we started having like people trying to like get on the set and we're trying to like watch like wow there's actually people watching this this thing yeah when uh when you see the hbo screen kind of fade to black after that static do you still hear the entourage theme song there is a a little bit of it being ingrained in my brain for sure but uh no if anything i'm no i'm more here other shows other curb yeah exactly yeah Now we're talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there was like a ton of cameos, obviously, in Entourage. Some crazy guys, some people like athletes everywhere.
What was the one guy that you were like, holy shit, this person's real starstruck, even though you are now a star yourself? I hate – this is going to really pain me to even say this, but it was really cool when Tom Brady did it. Okay.
Yeah. And it was just coming off 2011.
So not that long. Well, in the episode, I do.
Right. But I'm talking real life.
No, because I just didn't need I just didn't feel like also he was that was the year after he had just gotten hurt in game one. So he had missed that whole year, and it was the summer going into that following season.
So he hadn't played football in a full – almost a full year. And he came on, and I wanted to try to find, like, what's up with this guy? There's no way he's going to be, like, a cool guy.
And not only was he a super cool guy, you can always tell, like, how people are, especially, like, the crew. He was real generous with the crew.
showed up on time knew his lines was good on screen it was a golf episode so it was also six o'clock in the morning guy got up and hit like a 300 yard drive which was super annoying yeah so i'm like okay no he's he's real this is like it's it's not all he's he's a good dude so who's the worst of the crew name names honestly i've really not seen i know i'm not being protective i have not seen anyone come on because when you're getting the cameos right like for the most part they want to be there there was a time early on like season one we couldn't get cameos because people like what show is this i'm playing myself no people didn't want to play themselves right started to change around season three the more we became slightly more popular and then usually when people came on to do a cameo they wanted to be there so they came into it with a good attitude what about kanye west awesome he was phenomenal he came in he and that episode is uh some people really enjoy that episode from the way and he debuted the song good life at the end of that episode so that was like a cool not only, but he had a new song coming out. I think it was like one of the first times they used that as a platform to like launch a song, if memory serves me correct.
No, that's a great song too. That counts.
What about Lamar Odom? Ooh. Lamar Odom was on.
Did you go to the bunny ranch for them? I'm just trying to – oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, you're forgetting that this is actually smart of you to be like, I forgot.
I don't remember. I can't remember.
You were probably taking all those weird Viagras with him. Lamar Odom doesn't ring a bell.
No, I'm telling you, this was 2005. Let me ask you about some stuff that happened in 2005.
No idea. No idea.
Exactly. I was probably watching Lamar Odom in a college apartment.
The Odom stuff was cool because that was directly after us shooting at a Laker game, which we shot at a real Laker game in courtside seats. So that was just an awesome day in general as a huge basketball fan.
Right. With Tom Brady, you should have just said that you were method acting and you were always in character and just talked shit to him the entire time he was on set.
Yeah, you should have. I'm like De Niro.
What am I going to say? He just won a Super Bowl against him. Okay, that was three years ago at that point.
Yeah. And all right.
Yes, I'm sure he's super bummed that he lost that Super Bowl, but he's not like he doesn't have a shortage of rings there. Yeah.
What about Gary Busey? Gary. Future guest of the show.
Is he coming on? Well, I met him. He had a little tangle with SeaWorld on Twitter, so I intervened and said I'll face fuck SeaWorld.
You came to his rescue. And then he followed me.
I was like, hey, you want to come on?

He's like, yeah.

You should definitely have Busey.

Yeah, we're going to.

He's one of the more quotable people I've ever met.

I remember when he first came on, I think he said to our show creator, Doug Allen, like,

I'm not going to give you your words because nobody can write Gary Busey like Gary Busey.

I'm just going to give you me.

And we were like, all right, let's do it. Let's go.
And he, and that's exactly what Gary did. Full Busey.
And he nailed it? Yes. Who was the, was there anyone that was like difficult to work with at all? No, man, I got to say, like, as far as cameos, like I said, people wanted to be there.
I mean, no, I mean, certainly people had bad days here and there where they were just tired, but I've never walked away saying like, oh, that person's really difficult. Yeah, and at the end of the day, they're there to help your show.
You're there to help them. So there's probably like a lot of synergy going on.
Look, it should be taken seriously, but also let's not – like what are we doing here? We're trying to entertain people. Let's not – like we're not solving real world problems here.
If you have a bad attitude, that's on you. Okay, so these entourage questions are probably annoying you.
So this is my last entourage question. Oh, good.
What is the most annoying thing that fans say to you when they see you on the street? There was a world early on when people genuinely believed that entourage was real and thought we all... Wait, you're saying it's not? It is.
So you might have came up to me like circa 2006 and you actually thought we all you're saying is not it is so you might have came up to be like

2000 circa 2006 and you actually thought we all lived together yeah i was always like you'd be like taro where's vince and i'm like he's at the playboy man yeah what do you want me to say what how far do you want to play that and how so that was always really i'm sure you probably also got offered a shitload of weed.

There's been many

blunt that I've said no to.

If for nothing else. You don't know where that came from.
But also, do we really want to do we know what's really in it? True. No.
Good point. I hate that when drug dealers give me more expensive drugs.
The disappointment when I turn down a joint or a blunt or even a drink from someone. Yeah.
What? I know. Yeah.
You're not going to smoke. Yeah.
Usually I just, if somebody offers us two drinks, I just take big cats. Yeah.
He's not going to drink it. I just am like, I don't do shots.
I swore off shots in like 2014 because of that reason. What good happens? Nothing.
Nothing good. Yeah.
Yeah. Absolutely.
I have one more entourage related question. What is your Medellin? What do you want to do that's like your big project, your passion that you have that you want to get off the ground? See the next one, a playoff game.
Let's not. This is realistic that we're talking about here.
There is one that I just am now. I'm officially too old and out of shape.
I always wanted to make the Arturo Gatti movie I was a huge Arturo Gatti movie there's been a ton of stuff obviously about Mickey Ward Arturo Gatti died really young and tragically and there was a world where I had some rights to do that but time has gone on and I'm just I'm just too old and out of shape and I don't know if I'm willing to be like six months of hard work like Michael B. Jordan and Creed.
I don't know if I'm willing to do all that at this point. Put the right check.
Yeah, I don't think that check will be there. Okay.
We'll get it going. Let's get it going.
Passion projects don't often generate the big checks. That's true.
You got to do your Aquaman. Again.
So what's your Aquaman? That's going to fund your Medellin. I did have someone, I don't know who said this to me, we were talking about superhero stuff,

and I was like, well, I'm never going to be mistaken for a superhero.

And you're like, Robin, maybe.

I guess Robin is the only.

I mean, there's like B-Man or Ant-Man or whatever the fuck it is.

It's cast.

Paul Rudd's very well-established.

They've got nerd characters.

What's his name?

Jimmy Olsen, the photographer from the Superman movies.

Yeah.

You could be him. But is he really a superhero?

Maybe in the second one

I think that would defy the comic books

He gets some runoff

I think they would have to really change some stuff

In the Spider-Man universe

That must be so sweet though

If you do get a gig where you're playing an athlete

And you just get paid to lose a shitload of weight

And get into the best shape of your life

That's like my dream honestly

Yeah I just

I don't know what athlete I'm playing at this

First of all ever

I don't know what athlete I'm playing

at this, first of all, ever

physically, but then now

certainly at this point in my life, I don't know what athlete I'm ever

playing. Speaking of the

Knicks, going back to them, are you a

Knicks fan that speaks honestly

or a Knicks fan that still wants

courtside tickets so that you like sit

on Dolan's lap? I speak honestly. Okay, so go.
They stink. And they screw everything up.
And they didn't even take a meeting with Kevin Durant. And James Dolan's ruining the franchise.
And his band sucks. You told us to speak honestly.
We don't give a fuck about the Knicks. No, I was more asking what's the question.
No, that's what he is. Go ahead.
Speak honestly. It's like a writing from.
Like of what to expect coming into 2019-20? Well, I mean, you don't expect anything. Just what do you think about the franchise? How much of what Big Cat and I just said do you agree with 100%? I don't even remember what.
I mean, he said nine things. Yeah, yeah.
They all counted. Will the Knicks an Eastern Conference Finals in your lifetime? See, now you're just straight up trolling.
Yes. I'm going to say yes.
If you think I'm being too optimistic about that, I'm planning on living a long time. Yeah, how long are you planning on living a long time? If you get the Gotti movie, then you get in great shape.
You add another 10 years on. There you go.
Maybe you'll finally get there. There you go.
We were in the second round six years ago. Second round, yeah, that's true.
That's one round away from the Eastern Conference Finals. That is true.
That's good. I'm surprised that Knicks fans know how the playoffs work still.
Steve Novak, discount double check. Mello, do you think the Knicks should bring back Mello for a little farewell tour? I mean, I don't even – would he want to come back to the Knicks for a farewell? I think think Mel wants to play with anyone who will have him.
I don't know. I don't know.
I think he probably wants to play for a team that has a legit shot at... Will they have him, though? Probably not.
...getting to a title or the Eastern or Western Conference Finals. Yeah.
Were you all in on, like, did you do the memes like the Zion, Kyrie, Kevin Durant shit? Dude, I was really trying to convince my wife because we just had a baby four months ago.

We should name this kid Zion.

Congrats.

I'm good of.

The conversation didn't really advance too far past that.

And fortunately enough, because the lottery ping pong balls did not bounce our way.

So you named him RJ?

Exactly.

I named him Mitchell Robinson.

What is the highlight of your life as a Knicks fan? And you're not allowed to say any of the Ewing years. Those don't count.
Damn. The modern years.
There's nothing. The highlight of my Knicks fandom post-Ewing era.
Yeah. I'm going to have to go back to eliminating the Celtics, I guess, in that, I guess it was 2013.
Okay. Getting out of round.
First round, yeah. I mean, unless we want to start talking, Linsanity was fun.
Oh, Linsanity was the best. That was a great two weeks.
That was an awesome two weeks. But it really was.
Yeah, during Linsanity, was there a moment that crept into you where you're like, this is the truth, we are contenders now? I think that always happens to Knicks fans. Anytime anything positive happens, even we then say oh no this is it we're on the we're on the way up we're on the come up it's happening um so you lost a lot of weight i did slowly coming back well no it's not come on you look great i yo-yo with my weight and a lot of times people say that if i lost a lot of weight which i don't think I ever will be able to uh that I would be less funny did you deal with that yes how did you overcome that and you're like I'm just gonna be a fucking fitspo no I just first I never think I was particularly funny to begin with so I don't think our self-deprecation yeah that was a way to go there That was good.
That was certainly a way to go but um i just didn't really understand how i guess if i'm smaller in proportion i'm less funny i think you're either funny or you're you're not well it was tough because it's obviously the character is i guess the evolution of the character changed too like where you became you know you're the driver smoking weed playing video games and then you became a millionaire i'll tell you what has happened though doing power for five years which is a cable drama as opposed to comedy i have gotten in the last couple of years for other jobs like can he can you do comedy right like they you kind of only looking at the current thing and not going back in the files like i mean i i have done comedy so i'm gonna say yeah but they look at power it's like that's a gritty kind of cable drama does he do comedy it's like yeah i i expect that like chris pratt probably deals with something like that nowadays where he's like so known for being a superhero and he's in shape now it's like hey he's a hilarious are you able to be the funny guy still right but i think i do think that he's one case maybe uh seth rogan is another where they lost weight and for whatever reason they're less funny to me. I don't know if that's fair.
Seth Rogen's less funny to you? Really? It probably says more about me than I'm like, oh, I wish that guy was chubby so I could laugh at him. I think that's probably more about me than it is about him.
I think so. He's a chubby chaser too.
Yeah, I do love chubby. Literally all of his friends look exactly like me.
Understand. It's crazy.
He has this podcast from guys in Austin. They all came up and they like, I was staring in the mirror.
Yeah. More questions.
What the hell is going on right here? What are you guys going on around here? What can I say? Yeah. That's funny.
Do you, this is a technical question, acting side. Did you reach a point where you don't have to try out for roles anymore? You just get them? No.
No, no, yeah so like the big guys yes they called offer only you're offer only that's yeah i didn't know that existed that's a great phrase yeah i'm an offer only guy exactly i only take the offers there's a point you reach in your career where whatever your level of talent or fame has gotten to where you're not auditioning unless there's a rare occasion where it's like something that you're so different and outside the box for that particular character you may have to go in but like chris pratt i'm sure is not going into the audition room anytime he's offer only right so what is the role you auditioned for that maybe the world doesn't know about that we can break some news you would have played tony stark no again not he died spoiler yeah not playing a superhero anytime okay uh i don't know if i really have one that's like oh wow you didn't get that or one thing like that was actually in consideration yeah one that you auditioned for and you're like this would have been awesome if i got this there's actually a show coming out that i probably i'm not going to speak about because i'm not a part of it um and i don't know where they're at with it but i think it's going to do well and i was up for a part in it and i auditioned and obviously did not get it but i think that one's actually going to do that's so can you just give us like a description of the character like a little bit so that when it comes out we're like that's what he's talking about. All right so there's a couch a black couch and a camera.
Oh you're describing the audition room? The casting couch. How bad do you want this role? Well let me just tell you nowadays you barely even go into an audition room anymore.
You make a self tape at home and you send like a Vimeo link. Really? Yeah.
I don't like that. We're in the digital age.
I don't like it either. Wait so maybe that's the next like someone hacks all the Vimeo links instead of the iClouds and then we get just all the shitty auditions embarrassing yeah I like that I'm sure someone's working at home feverishly trying to figure out but yeah I mean I think it's now maybe only 10% of the time that if I get an audition I'm actually going in the room and meeting the people and it's crazy getting over here a lot of Give it to me again.
Give it to me a different way. They see that.
No. Yeah.
Usually. Or they give you a note and they say, try it and do that.
Or cause I think also the worst is if you don't get any notes, if you do your audition, you're like, thank you. You know, it's done.
Yeah. Saving some time.
That was great. And you walk out like, son of a fun.
That was the opposite of great. Yeah.
I've always that on set if you uh if a director's like giving you little notes or something like that they're they never say the line the way they want to hear it they give you like kind of a roundabout instruction for motivation instead of like saying something then asking you to copy is that right because it's it's called another we're gonna get fancy terms yeah yeah a right? Okay. So if the line is like, do me a favor, pass that water.
That's the line, right? Oh, you're acting. You're acting.
It was so convincing. That was good.
But if someone comes up to you and says, say it like this, do me a favor, go get me that water. Like, you're trying to mimic something is a little, it just gets stuck in your head.
It's the only way you'll ever be able to do it. i think uh people try to not do line readings aren't always appreciated yeah you'd be insulted if a director not insulted just like ah all right i'll that's fun i'm just gonna be a robot and give it to you exactly the way you want all right give me this line i don't know about the afterlife but this life is sweet never heard that's the corniest line ever i just looked at.
It's also from 12 years ago. Again, I repeat.
No, maybe longer fucking Mercedes. Vince.
What are you a soccer mom? 14 years ago. Okay.
So I'm going to, let's try to see what you were saying. 14 years.
No, you're right. You're right.
Um, I want to talk about video games real quick. So you're passionate about video games.
Hell yeah. Uh, you, do you own a team? No i wish i did what you own a team yeah some team in new zealand i actually don't know the name of it i can't tell if you know i'm being dead serious what okay what do they compete in what game fucking computer games are you making money off this venture i know so why are someone money in new zealand and now you a game? I got one for you too if you'd like to invest.
Okay, I'm in. All right.
I'll give you my routing number. But yeah, how did you get into video games? Like what do you actually do day to day in the video game community? So, I mean, I've just always been a gamer since I was a kid.
I actually help with the Knicks gaming team, which is a team in the NBA 2K League. There's why you didn't say that.
Not really. I mean, so they started, do you know the game 2K? Yeah.
There's a professional NBA 2K League team with 21 real NBA franchises that have a team in it. And I've been the scout and consultant for the Knicks gaming team.
You're a scout? Yeah. Is there like a rift in the e-gaming scouting community between analytics and manalytics

where you're like, I just like that guy's grit?

No, there's no rift.

You really, analytics are a huge part.

How do you look at a guy playing video games and be like, I like his thumbs?

See, again, I've had, I mean, if you want to go down this road, that is just not the

way to think about it.

I hear what you're saying.

Yes.

You're analyzing his like hand-eye coordination.

but it's really just more you gotta just look at it

like traditional

Thank you. to go down this road that is just not the way to think about i hear what you're saying yes you're analyzing his like hand eye dexterity it's really just more you gotta just look at it like traditional basketball what are his numbers you look at stuff like how he operates in the pick and roll his true you know true shooting efficiency stuff like that those are real analytics that you look at so you're you're monitoring the actual gameplay not so much the person no but then you do a whole interview process with the actual person to see a little bit more about what type of guy or girl they are got it so what is your favorite game of all time like what was your go-to game well as a kid it was mike tyson's punch out okay 0073735963 code to get up to mike tyson uh as i got a little bit older and gaming got better, obviously Madden was a huge game.
Halo. And then I really kind of settled in on Call of Duty was Modern Warfare 1.
Okay, what about the most recent one? That one was awesome. Blackout 4? Oh, you're talking about Modern Warfare? Yeah, yeah.
I mean, the new one coming, which the beta is out for now, or maybe the alpha, it's coming at the end of October. That's Modern Warfare 4.
That's going to be the one. Do you game online with everyone? Yeah, sure.
I stream on Twitter. You want to squad up? Let's go.
I'll squad up with you. Anytime, dude.
Dude, I love squatting up. Are we going to get dubs or what? Are we going to win? I'm more of a grab a shotgun and just run up on people and shoot them as fast as I can and then die.
But I'm in for whatever. Listen, man, I will support you.
Yeah, you need one wild card, right? I will support. Yes, you do.
They often can win you games. I usually, if you look at my stats, I'm usually like, I get killed 25 times and I get 10 kills.
So you're killed death. You're like a minus 1.5.
Yeah, pretty much. I'm just running around getting smoked.
We'll have to get some other players to help us. Okay.
They're called the carry.

We might need a couple of carries.

That's really a term?

Yeah, like guys who are really good that carry you to victory because we suck. So that's what they've been saying to me when they mute me on the-

They're like, oh, we got to carry this.

This guy, we got to carry him again.

Okay.

Yeah, because I always get in the lobby and then everyone leaves.

Hey, guys, we're really good.

Hello?

Got to go.

Hello?

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm all alone.

How close are you to becoming a professional gamer? Do you just want to stay on the scouting side i'm not first of all i don't have enough time to commit to actually become good enough to ever be a pro because it is a huge time commitment and i really do think something happens to hand-eye coordination at a certain age yeah so uh i'm i'm out interesting is there an adderall problem in in e-g? Not that I've seen, no. Shit.
I'm always trying to uncover some kind of scandal. Also, here you go.
Wait, I'm going to give you a hot tip. Hot tip.
E-sports. E-sports.
E-sports. Sorry.
Already on a team. Yeah.
That's what I was going to say. E-gaming? Oh, you're like, this guy does not know the first thing about e-gaming.
I very clearly don't. What about bottled oxygen? I've seen some guys, like, putting up to their nose in the middle of games.
I've, again, never seen it. If it works, I've never seen that before.
You're like a pre-Mitchell report scout where you're like, I don't know why these guys are hitting home runs. But also, I don't know if you proudly announce.
Is that something you'd be broadcasting? No, no, no. Probably not.
They'll leave a bottle of Andro in their locker afterwards, and then reporters will find that and be like, that's what it is. 1997? No, the Senate's committee is going to do a FOIA on your emails, and you're going to be like, I don't know why Eric Gagne is saving all these games.
By the way, you guys have some dope dated references. You may keep it.
Eric Gagne. Yeah, we're just kind of finished at like 2008.
Yeah. If you learn anything past the age of 30, you're a sucker.
Yeah. Big time.
Yeah. That's kind of, yeah.
What have you learned that's useful past the age of 30? That, only stuff that's really pertaining to like marriage and family and that stuff. Because I was never married or had a kid before.

So the last five years I've learned a lot on that level.

Yeah.

Okay.

I guess that's one flaw in my argument.

I'm a dad too.

So I just had a kid.

I've had sex.

He's 10 weeks.

Really?

Yeah.

And you're awake?

Yeah.

Barely.

He's actually already sleeping through the night.

No big deal.

He's a fucking chill ass baby.

So he's a big kid. No, he's just a chill ass baby.
I don't know. He just chills.'s actually already sleeping through the night.
No big deal. He's a fucking chill-ass baby.
So he's a big kid.

No, he's just a chill-ass baby. I don't know.

He just chills. And he's sleeping through the night already.

How do you like me now?

I'm just...

We give him drugs every night to make sure

he falls asleep. But yeah, that whole thing.

You have to. Plus he takes bottled oxygen before the show.

Why did you choose not

to vaccinate your kids?

Good question. He's actually started a rumor that I didn't vaccinate.
Well, you call it a rumor, but if it gets repeated enough, it becomes truth. But no, you're in the Hollywood...
Why did you start that rumor? Because you just wanted to fuck with me. I was bored and wanted to fuck with Big Cat.
Did that catch on? 90% of the stuff that we do comes from that place. Yeah, a few people were like, what the hell, dude? But you're in the Hollywood circle, so I'm sure you've had some people be like, hey, Jerry, what are you doing? Vaccinating your kid.
I'm not. I mean, also you live in Williamsburg, so that's like ground zero for unvaccinated children at this point.
I have not caught all of what you're taught. Is it? Yeah.
Yeah. People go door to door with flyers saying don't vaccinate.
Jews, which I can say as well. They go door to door with flyers.
Yeah. Saying like, do not vaccinate your children.
Yeah. Dead serious.
And that's effective. We've gotten into it.
In Williamsburg it is. We're in a swamp right now.
I don't know how to get out of this part of this interview. Here, I'll get out of it.
Vaccinate your kids and spay and neuter your pets. Power.
Let's talk about power. Power on stars.
Power on stars. It's a great segue.
Yeah. That was like the Grateful Dead drums section where everyone took a piss.
They're like, what's going on? We're going to take a break from this interview. I went to one of their shows one time, and they had like a wolf sound effect howling in the middle of the drum solo.
It was really trippy. So that's what we're doing right now.
But we're talking about power. So power put in the wolf sound effect.
Tell me why you decided to start with the show, what's been good about it, what you like, and what we have to expect from it. What was the first part of that? Why I started with it? Yeah, what drew you to this project? What drew me to the project was I was a fan of the show in season one.
I almost was working on it in season one. It didn't schedule-wise work out.
The woman who created the show, Courtney Kemp, told me, I'm going to write something for you next year, and I hope you want to do it. It's going to be good.
And I've heard that quite a few times in my career. And that never really ever becomes anything.
And she actually did it. Called me a year later.
I was like, I wrote this character. He's the criminal defense attorney.
And it's going somewhere. She pitched me a whole bunch of stuff that's happening in future seasons.
And she did not only everything that she said she was going to do, but more. I've been on the show for five years.
It started off as a smaller character and it kept growing year over year. Is is that rare in hollywood or in in tv production or film production where somebody uh will actually follow through on something that they promise you i mean i think it's i think everybody means well i think when they say it but it's almost like overextending or maybe they don't even have the authority to do what they said they wanted to do in this case she did she was the boss so uh i mean yeah i've definitely had people say we should work together i'm gonna write something for you and it's like all right yeah do you ever have anybody come up to you and they're like i know you from somewhere uh sully you were in sully not that long because that's like a blink if you blink you miss me kind of thing um i love those interactions where it's like i know you from somewhere have we met before i'm like i don't think so and they're like wait you're an actor yes that's true like, I know you from somewhere.
Have we met before? I'm like, I don't think so. And they're like, wait, you're an actor.
Yes, that's true. What do I know you from? I'm like, let's do the IMDB thing.
All right. Entourage.
No, no. Okay.
Power. What's power? No.
All right. I'm running out of projects.
Think like a man. And then they do pull out something random, like King of Queens 2001.
I'm like, yes, I did three episodes of King of Queens. What's the residual on that? Oddly enough, I just got one like a week ago for like $67.
That's pretty good. It's still hanging strong.
I'm obsessed with residuals. I need to get a residual.
Bad. Should we get one from ESPN? I mean, we should get something that just shows up every month money yeah every month there's a residual cycle that's awesome we gotta get on alright my last question so check out Power just actually season 6 just debuted it just debuted last Sunday yeah so check it out on Starz my last question SeatGeek question promo code take use it you get $10 off SeatGeek purchase we made fun of you you for the Knicks.
We made fun of you for the Giants. So are the Yankees going to win the World Series? I really think they are.
Yeah? No pitching, though. Yes, but also have bounced back from situations where you, like, obviously the Boston Massacre, everybody thought that happened in July.
We bounced back strong from that from that I think it's real I feel like in a couple

Of years past last two three years

We've been optimistic we weren't quite there I feel like we're there

Do you trust Aaron Boone

Yeah

I do and not that we have a choice

But yeah we do

Okay last last question Aaron Judge does he have

His pinstripes

You know what I mean

I mean I think so I think he's

Still I mean he's young I think this is gonna be

Thank you. last last question Aaron Judge does he have his pinstripes what do you mean does he have like he's earned him you know what I mean I mean I think he's still I mean he's young I think this is going to be a perfect moment yeah that sounds like a no what I mean is playoff basketball is where you're baseball is where you're in pinstripes I think this is going to be a huge stage for him so not he has not earned his pinstripes yet to earn his pinstripes well on his way well on his way he's on his way to earning pinstripes does Stanton have pinstripes, yet to earn his pinstripes.
Well on his way. He's on his way to earning pinstripes.
Does Stanton have pinstripes?

No.

Does anybody on the team have pinstripes?

Gardner.

CeCe.

CeCe's got pinstripes.

They're slimming on him.

I think Dede could be well on his way.

It's a young team.

It's hard to give out pinstripes for young guys.

That's true.

How does it work? Is there a committee of Yankee fans that decide the pinstripes? If there is, I am not a part of said committee. Oh, so you can't talk about it.
That was smart. Exactly, yeah.
It's like some underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you. You're winking at me right now.
What about Brian Cashman? How come he always finds himself in these weird situations every month where he's getting arrested? That shit was weird yes it was right yes it was I don't because his car got stolen and he was going to retrieve his own car without the police involved I don't even know how that that that happened you're doing good you're doing good as an inside member of the council not damn it not letting anything out of house the diversion works yeah the Cashman diversion works um all right well Jerry thank you, thank you so much. Appreciate you stopping by.
Check out Power on Starz. Debuted last week, season six.
Watch it because you're a great actor. I look forward to seeing you on the pickup basketball court one day.
Dude, I actually have a run if you want to come. I would love to come.
No, seriously. I'm dead serious.
I play three, four times a week. Saturday mornings.
Okay. Can you do Saturday mornings? Yeah.
Manhattan. Yeah.
Okay, perfect. You're in.
Don't set no hard picks. No, you're good.
You're perfect. He's a really shitty player, so you'll fit in well.
All right, sweet. Can anyone shoot? Yeah, there's a couple.
I'm more of a carrier. You're a carrier.
Let's call back. That interview with Jerry Ferraro was brought to you by Movement.
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Oh, oh, whoa. Is the cow okay? What happened? Is that the cow that fell down and now Big Cat has to kill it? Breaking moves.
Federer lost. The goat? My goat.
No! I'm going to troll tweet this right now. That sucks.
Oh, the goat. My goat.

No, I'm going to troll tweet this right now.

Live turn.

Live turn.

Okay, hold on.

You know what?

Plus 1,000.

Should I add?

Should I add hubs or not at hubs?

The big question.

Subbing is more of a troll move.

It is more of a troll move, yeah.

He must have used Roman swipes because he lasted longer than Jokovic, at least. As a minus 1,000 favorite.
I don't know if he was minus 1,000, but the dude that won was plus 1,000. Hank, did he retire or did he lose? He just lost.
Huh, interesting. So he didn't quit.
No, he didn't battle an injury like Djokovic did. He didn't quote.
The Joker.

And he probably was playing with subpar balls because Doug Gottlieb stole all of them last night.

Okay.

I just heard Federer losses of minus 1,000 favorite.

Is this true?

There we go.

We'll let that one out there. That's one of those tweets you tweet, and then like two hours later, I'll go to my mentions and be like,

why the fuck are people talking tennis?

And I forgot that I tweeted it. You just can't admit that Djokovic is the goat is a bad take.
And just running on it. Let me ask you this.
What is Nadal and Federer's record against Djokovic the last nine times they've faced? One in eight is the answer. One in eight.
One in eight. Federer's also like 15 years older.
Even Hank's laughing at that. 20 years older.
One in eight. Federer's a bum.
Federer's the best player. Djokovic is the best of all time.
I can't believe you trolled me into caring about tennis. But here we are.
And a power. Roger Federer is the GOAT.
I hate to say this, but Novak's got two slams in 2019. Federer has none.
Of course he does. So he's better right now.
He's the GOAT. He's better right now.
He's the GOAT. All right.
Andy beat him in Wimbledon. No big deal.
Okay, so power rankings. Power rankings.
A.K.A. Pete Prisco's a fucking idiot.
Yep. That's our segment.
Prisco loves to troll with his preseason power rankings. No bigger troll than putting the Packers as number one.
Except here's the thing about Prisco. He genuinely believes all of his shitty opinions are good.
Right. Which is why we kind of respect him on this show.
So are you saying he's trolling or that's the question? No, he genuinely believes that he's smarter than everyone else and that he sees things that nobody else can see. So he thinks like he has an advanced set of eyes that can pick up on things on tape that nobody else sees.
So he just went into this blind. These were his power rankings.
He wasn't like, this is going to get a rise out of you folks. Power.
So we're going to power rank. We're going to do a shitty power rankings of Pete Prisco's power rankings.
We'll go back and forth to do five. I'll start with number one.
The Green Bay Packers being number one. They didn't make the playoffs last year.
That's fine. They didn't make the playoffs last year.
This is like putting them. No, I'm not.
not you know what I was I'm not going to say what I've been getting a lot of people saying hey big cat why do you hate Nebraska why do you always go after Nebraska I wasn't going to say that Nebraska went four and eight last year and then somehow was in the top 25 this year I wasn't going to say it they won four out of the last five I wasn't dominated I wasn't going to say it according to Pete the Matt LaFleur rogers relationship will be fine so first reported by peter and it'll be calling them audible gate is my my latest new scandal who's calling them uh i like that pick as backers number one actually there you go because they have the boat aaron rogers playing quarterback shout out max kellerman good name yeah uh so my first qualm with pete prisco is going to be having the chargers at I'm low on the Chargers. You guys know I'm a super Chargers fan.
Yeah. I'm low on them.
I do like the Chargers too, but they're missing Derwin James. They're missing Melvin Gordon right now.
Derwin James is probably my favorite young player in the NFL. And if you know anything about the Chargers, with the exception of just last year, they're going to lose four out of their first five and then rally and knock off like ten in a row.
I also have a take I'm squatting on, which hurts me to say, but everyone keeps pointing around like Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger. One of these guys is going to age overnight.
Don't. Don't.
Maybe Phil Rivers? Don't. No.
We need Phil Rivers. I know, I know, but I'm saying one of these guys will, and it feels like everyone's just forgetting Phil Rivers out on the West Coast.
I actually think that if you put Phil Rivers on the Pittsburgh Steelers instead of Ben Roethlisberger, they probably would have won like six Super Bowls. Phil? What? Yeah.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. No, it's not the dumbest thing you've ever heard.
Six Super Bowls. They would have won six.
I think Phil Rivers has got a raw deal. Six Super Bowls? Yes, at least.
At least. Because Phil Rivers noted guy who beats the Patriots.
I was about to say, there's one common denominator there. Listen, no, no.
There's so many other players on the field at any given time besides Philip Rivers. Oh, okay.
Philip Rivers was the best quarterback in that draft. All right, good pick, good pick.
How about, I mean, the Bears at 11 is insane. I'm sorry.
I don't think the Bears are going to – I'm worried about the Bears' season, but 11 is crazy. That's not bad.
Yeah, it's pretty good. I mean, the fact that he has so many teams that didn't make the playoffs in front of him is ridiculous.
The Falcons, who I am high on, ahead of the Bears right now, is crazy. That's crazy.
It's a this-year league. That's crazy.
It is a this-year league. That's crazy.
Bears defense is going to be number one defense. Hank, you didn't listen to Hank.
You said it's a this-year league. All right, go ahead.
Do you have a kicker? Yeah. Eddie Pinheiro.
Okay. Ever heard of him? Just curious.
Probably the most pressure ever on a kicker week one. Yeah, that's great.
You love to hear it. That guy is going to melt under pressure.
Okay, my next shitty pick. It's going to be bad.
He's got the Vikings at 14. Vikings are going to finish 25.
So you're saying Kirk Cousins is on a perfectly average? No, 15. 16.
15 would be. 16 would be perfectly average.
So he has them at least two slots too high. I think they might finish even lower because of the slow to curse, which, by the way, I am officially putting the Dunn chain on them, so I need to figure out what I'm doing.
It's got to be the hair bet, right? You did. There was a lot of – wait, what? No.
If the Vikings win the Super Bowl. Oh, you're going to cut your hair? Yeah, then I'll make it into a wig and give it to Kirk Custis because he's bald and nobody talks about that.
All right. How do you feel, people? There's a lot of Minnesota fans being like, how could you put a curse on a team that's already cursed? That was kind of the entire point.
Historically awesome and clutch Minnesota Vikings. The fifth pick.
So the last pick. I'm going to go deep on Pete Prisco's power rankings.
I actually think the NFC North is going to be the toughest division this year, and I think the Lions are going to be better than 29th. Okay.
I don't think the Lions – I think the Lions are better than the Bengals. They're better than the Redskins.
They're better than the Bucs. I think their defense is going to be good.
I just – I think the Lions are going to be friskier than people realize. I would like to see Matt Patricia doing those QB drills like John Gruden was doing.
Just him on a segue. Yeah.
Just like trying to chase people down. Is it an ACL? Or are you reporting that? Whatever he had.
Is that an exclusive report? Yeah. I think the 49ers, the Broncos are too low at 24.
Dude, Joe Flacco stinks. I think the Broncos are too low at 24.
That altitude, the new pass interference rules you guys aren't talking about enough. Joe Flacco stinks.
The defense is really, really good. Joe Flacco doesn't need to be elite.
He just needs to have people asking the question, could he get back to being elite? Okay. And if that's the discussion, then the Broncos are going to finish in the top 16.
Okay. Okay.
All right. So yeah, go check out Pete Frisco's stupid fucking power ranking.

Vic Fangio.

Yeah, Vic Fangio's a very good coach.

You know that guy brings a little mentality.

He is.

Until they get away from Joe Flacco, they're going to stink, though.

They are not going to score points.

I disagree.

That defense is going to be good, and they're going to be like,

fuck, we're screwed again.

Joe Flacco is going to draw a minimum of six pass interference penalties.

All right.

Next up, we have Mike Wilbon's name drop. So this was Skip.
Yeah. Skip.
Skip Bayless. He did an ultimate name drop today.
He was talking with Shannon on, was it Undisputed? Is that the name of their show? Love the new show on FS1. He said, I got a text from Lil Wayne this morning saying that there's more than meets the eye in the LeFleur-Rodgers situation,

meaning that they're getting ready to uncork a bunch of new secret plays that we haven't seen yet in the preseason,

that their relationship is great, actually.

Okay.

So Lil Wayne was, like, looking through his third eye.

He was doing the Pete Prisco of sitting at home stoned on your couch and watching their preseason games

and saying, these two guys, I like their relationship. Everyone says it sucks lil wayne says it's good lil wayne so skip bayless texts with lil wayne all the time all the time yeah they are actually like did you know matthew barry texts with jay-z i did know that yeah it's crazy who you got on a collab if they were to each put down like a mixtape together matthew barry and jay- Skip Bayless and Lil Wayne.
I'll go Skip Bayless and Lil Wayne.

I think I got it. I think I got a wheezy too.

That would be fire. Skip Bayless is a wordsmith.

Like, they're the same. They're both

goats just in their respective professions.

Yes, agreed. Alright, last

up before we get to guys on chicks. Thoughts and prayers.

I don't even remember what this was for. Chris

Jericho. Oh, yeah.
So Chris Jericho.

Recurring guest. Recurring guest.
Podcaster

extraordinaire. Loved us.
And wrestler.

He had his AEW

title belt. He's not dead, Hank.

I don't know. Oh, yeah.
So Chris Jericho. Recurring guest.
Recurring guest, podcaster extraordinaire. Loved us.
And wrestler. He had his AEW title belt.
He's not dead, Hank. This is one of those, like, I'm excited.
Hank was doing the ear thing that your dog does when the garage door goes up. He's like, huh? Yeah, he did the head tilt to the side.
Chris Jericho had his title belt stolen from him when he was at a Tassee longhorn steakhouse damn so he kind of this is all right we don't victim shame on this podcast but but if you leave your title belt in a tallahassee steakhouse a wrestling belt in a tallahassee steakhouse that is a gold mine the montreal steak seasoning screw job that That is 1.7. The Montreal Wagyu Bops job.
1.7 boobs. Apparently, it wasn't in the steakhouse.
He was in the steakhouse. He left it outside in his limo, and somebody stole it from him.
But that, again, if you pull up to a Tallahassee steakhouse in a limo, everyone's just looking at it like, what does that fancy person have in there?

Maybe a wrestling belt.

Even all the servers come outside.

They assume you're a professional wrestler if you go to a steakhouse in a limousine down there.

Yeah, it sucks. I'm sorry, Chris Jericho.

But first of all, you're a podcaster.

And second of all, you're not dead.

You're not dead.

That's a good spin zone. But as a podcaster, you should not even be wearing belts.
You should just be strictly sweatpants. True.
Sweatpants or bird dogs. Should be a title waistband.
Yeah. Not a title belt.
All right. Let's wrap it up.
Guys on Chicks. Then Friday, we have O.
We have our favorite. I said O, but it's O.
We have our favorite coach., Coach O on Friday. Not a big deal.
Not a big deal. Literally, he called in and his voice made us all so happy.
I don't know if we're going to include this part in the podcast, but when he first picked up before we really started the interview, he just goes, what's up, boys? Yeah. And I was ready to go.
Holy shit. Hi, gang.
I got married in March and my husband and I recently had the biggest argument yet. It all started when he locked the door to take a dump.
Now, I've never tried to come in the bathroom while he's busy in there unless I can hear him actively showering, in which case I go in there to put makeup on or something. I stay out of the way and have never even tried the bathroom door.
So a couple weeks ago when I could hear him in the shower, I tried to come in for my hairbrush, and the door was locked. Apparently, he's been locking the door every time he poops then unlocking it before he showers so i've never even known he locks it since i don't try the door unless i hear the shower i think it's really weird that he locks the door in our own house especially since no one else is ever around and it almost hurts my feelings that he doesn't trust me not to interrupt but he says he's just being polite who was right should he lock the door he's right he's right you're wrong he's jerking off too yeah there's that and there's also that's a fact he just he he's making sure that you don't make any unwanted mistakes yeah he's saving you from yourself he's actually very like you know he is like you don't want to see what goes on there when he jerks off onto his shit yeah he's probably cranking it from the back like underneath his leg himself yeah so you don't trust me you don't want to see i don't know if you've seen the intro to uh this year's episode of mind hunter um but locking a bathroom door can actually save a lot when it comes to it he's probably wearing a clown mask yeah and tying his neck up to the door with a tie.
Yeah. So yeah, don't go in.

That's just, listen, a guy doesn't have a lot of safe spaces. Podcast is one of them.
Bars on Sundays. Our man cave.
Our man cave. In Tallahassee.
Hooters. With a big wrestling belt that we stole hanging up in it.
Yeah. And locking the door when you have to shit, jerk off, and shower.
That's it. We don't ask for much.
I had a roommate in college that used to lock his bedroom door every time he would shower because he didn't trust one of my roommates. That was my friend because my roommate just got out of jail.
No big deal. Long story.
Oh, wow. But when he would come out of the bathroom, he'd have to bring his key with him and unlock his door and his towel to get back in his room and one time he forgot his key and so he's just locked out of his own bedroom in his own house wearing a towel damn and then he had to ask my friend the criminal to come break the door down for him which he knew how which he knew how to do is really emasculating all around hey hunky hank and the boys oh my boyfriend keeps switched my switched to keto, and now he sucks to eat with.

How do I make him eat like a normal person again?

Don't you want him to be hot?

Don't you want him to be hot?

That's a good question.

I think you just start in with the, like, I love you the way you are.

Or just honestly, as someone who right now is going no-carb life,

just put enough pizza in the fridge. If I come home tonight and there's pizza in the fridge, I'm eating it like I am.
So just do that. Just really submarine his efforts to better himself.
That's true love. Also, if you just say that whatever kind of dough that you're serving on the pizza or any sort of carb-like substance is made from cauliflower, he'll just eat it and he won't know.
Yeah. So just be like, hey, it's cauliflower.
Be like, oh, this isn't that bad. Frozen yogurt.
Just get a lot of frozen yogurt. If I see frozen yogurt, I eat it.
I had three ice cream cones on Saturday. Just wanted to get that out there.
That's pretty sick. Yeah.
Wait, did you have to walk to the ice cream stand three separate times? I got one at like noon. I got like no no true ice cream like there's ice cream trucks and uh you so every you were in your apartment and every time you heard the ding ding walks no they don't ding ding they fucking sit down the street i was just like i gotta walk stella gotta walk stella and i just crush ice cream cones i like that i've been getting into just uh just like popsicles in the freezer but then you eat eight or nine of them in one sitting.
I can't stand popsicles.

You have to get the right one.

Just go all the way.

Sup, PMT boys, especially Big Cat and

PFT. I was listening to the show

today and was amazed with how smart Hank's

ideas were to stop the hurricane.

Did you guys talk to him about how impressive that was

off air? Did we?

Did I say something again? I don't think so. I'm always

impressed with Hank off air. I actually had that on my

to-do list today. Tell Hank he

Thank you. Did you guys talk to him about how impressive that was off air? Did we? Did I say something? I don't think so.

I'm always impressed with Hank off air. I actually had that on my to-do list today.

Tell Hank he's smart.

What were your ideas, Hank?

Just get everybody to fart at it?

Yeah.

Windmills.

Just yell really loud at it.

Oh, naming the...

Hurricane Bad Things.

Good Things.

No, no.

Sponsoring it.

Sponsoring it.

Yes, sponsoring it.

I want to name it Bad Things so everyone would be afraid of it. You to bring in like a donation element where you could text the hurricane yeah and then it would automatically donate hurricane walmart this is actually in the parcel gold episode but you said today that they should figure out a way to send the hurricane to the amazon and that was i think the most divert it why not like build a wall yeah build a wind wall i shouldn't say that, you can't do that.
And the Cape Verde Islands are going to pay for it. Sup, PMT boys, especially our sweet Prince Liam.
Ooh. I don't know if you're doing guys on chicks tonight, but this is an urgent inquiry.
A coworker of mine just revealed to us that she requires her husband to pee sitting down every time not just

late night sitting yes every p is a sit pee she even checks the trash can next to the toilet to

make sure there are no splatters because she can always tell yeah that's a fact bad aim some of

the fellows in the office are absolutely appalled and ask for my advice on whether or not it would

be over the line to have an intervention for this woman's husband despite having never spoken to him

in their lives as a woman would that that would never subject her husband to such restrictions

I need to know if taking a look at the to have an intervention for this woman's husband despite having never spoken to him in their lives. As a woman that would never subject her husband to such restrictions,

I need to know if taking their side and telling them to intervene would break the girl code.

First of all, I just love the idea that there's just a group of fellas

in the office that are all riled up about some girl

that's making your husband pee sitting down,

and they're getting really mad about it as a collective unit.

Here's the thing.

In life, there are some people you will come across

Let's go. making your husband pee sitting down and they're getting like really mad about it as a collective unit here's the thing in life there are some people you will come across that just like to be told what to do and so to interrupt that like i guarantee you this guy probably is like you know what i kind of like it when my wife tells me i have to sit down and take a piss yeah like when he takes a pee standing up standing up, like he's getting a drill and rush.
Right, exactly. That no one else gets.
Right, right. So he, you just got to leave him alone.
Like he probably likes to have, he probably has his sweaters laid out for him by his wife. He probably has his dinner plan set for months in advance.
He likes order. He likes someone else telling him what to do.
You got to let those people live. Yeah, I honestly, like I wouldn't have a problem being told to.
Sometimes it's nice to do'm tired in the middle of the night sometimes i'll sit down to pee but that's because i choose to do it so i feel fine about it uh being told to sit down and pee all the time feels like something that you would agree to only if there were just a lot of other bigger fish to fry out there for you if he's got shitty aim i mean dude if he's hitting the if he's hitting the trash can come on dude that what are you like seven also maybe figure that out maybe she beat him in fancy football last year and this was a bet that they had that'd be great great transition hey boys now that football season is back it's time to start focusing on my fantasy team i usually use the pickup line to guys can you help me set lineup to just start a conversation but I have been getting terrible recommendations in the past seasons. How do I tell a football guy from an amateur and what do you think is a fair trade for a guy who gets my team all the way to the playoffs? I'll tell you what, if you really want your team to succeed, you have to have the advantage of knowledge, of superior knowledge and you have to be be willing to educate yourself, which is why I listen to the Fantasy Footballers, and I downloaded- That was what this was? I downloaded the Football, the Fantasy Life app from Matthew Barry.
Yeah. Oh, wait, shit.
That's not the name of Hank's podcast. I know.
I was trolling Hank. I totally forgot the name of his podcast.
The Fantasy Football- Because it's so meaningless in my life. Yeah.
PFT actually named it. So he should.
He remembers. Fantasy football.
I remember us having some different names for it. Hank, we came up with a bunch of them.
And Hank, Hank. No, everyone.
Everyone. We have a live draft tomorrow night.
It's true. Live draft.
That was actually. It was just a good question.
No, but it was a great segue to for us to plug your podcast. I appreciate that.
But that truly was not why your success is our success that is the truth it's yeah no your guys podcast more than mine no it's not i don't even get followed by the account that's true that's fucked up and the bigger hank gets at this the less time he spends with us so yeah right everyone download hank's app the more mistakes he makes on this show uh wait perfect hank what time is your draft tomorrow? Nobody cares about your fantasy team. Fair enough.

All right, we'll see everyone Friday.

Love you guys.

Bye. I'm talking away.
I don't know what to say. I'm saying anyway.
Today is another day to find you. Shine.
I'll be coming for you, love. Okay, love.
I'll be coming for you, okay? Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Needless to say To the old city It's better than... Thank you.
Safe and sorry. Thank you.