Coach Hugh Freeze, Football Guy Of The Week, And CFB Week 1 Recap

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, we have Liberty head coach Hugh Freeze, who is going to win Football Guy of the Week for the first week.
We will still vote on it and give you your nominees, but he coached a football game from a hospital bed. So we had him call in from that hospital bed and tell us the reasoning behind it and everything that happened on Saturday.
We have a recap of the whole weekend of football. We have football guy of the week and all the nominees.
We have NFL cuts. Who's back of the week and hashtag hyphy is back.
So for people who are longtime listeners, it is a segment we tried a long time ago. We're bringing it back.
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Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't live all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down down it's pardon my take presented by bar welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app go download it right now use code barstool and you get five dollars to yourself five dollars to the aspca today is monday september 3rd and football is back again Hank it's Tuesday Tuesday yeah September 3rd show yep football's back and the SEC is dead SEC is pretty much dead so I think they have to look at getting rid of either Tennessee or Mizzou at this point yep you should become a member if you lose a week one game against an inferior opponent you should just become whatever a member of whatever conference that they're from i i don't hate that at all i also uh it's kind of relegation relegation in the epl but tennessee let's start with tennessee oh boy was that fun to watch because now if you're a tennessee fan you're probably going to want to just skip hit that 30 second fast forward watching tennessee fans just sitting there in disbelief there's something about that week one when you schedule these these uh smaller schools you pay them to come into your stadium and then they put a whooping on you and tennessee you should have known when the boat called chances are sunk in the uh tennessee river i think it is the vol navy yep that should have been a sign right there that this season it wasn't going to feel like 98 it was going to feel like 1983 when they lost uh a home game to a non-power five team it was a bad omen for sure to get to get the weekend started the flames were tennessee orange and and the orange color and that like checkerboard design that you see seeing somebody that's sad wearing that like festive nice autumnal color it hits a little bit different it's like it's kind of it gives me pleasure to see somebody in pain wearing that color there's also something so distinct about college football and programs that expect to be great and can't and and they hit these downturns that are just, it's like watching a train crash. You just, you can't take your eyes away from Tennessee fans being like, it feels like 98 or Florida state fans being like, you know what we have, what's his name? Art brows fail son is the offensive coordinator.
And now we're going to Kendall Bryles. And now we're going to be awesome awesome and we score 31 points in the first half oh whoops we forgot to do conditioning tests and got our asses kicked in the second half by boise state yeah so uh they actually said that they weren't hydrated enough yeah that was florida state's excuse is that they the boys didn't drink enough water pre-game so they're gonna get that fixed they're gonna get that turnaround it's an easy fix when it comes to mizzou and when it comes to tennessee there's no like there's no easy answer for any of that stuff but i mean well wyoming the altitude yeah i was a little bit on and man those end zones in wyoming they're so confusing i love them they're so confusing with a little uh the little cowboy on the horse in the background that looks like he's part of a 1970s discontinued cigarette ad.
Yep. I love that mascot.

I love their helmets.

But when it came to Tennessee, it's like that's I think that fan base has kind of moved on

from expect until they get Peyton Manning's like younger nephew.

That's like an eighth grade that's throwing for 4000 yards a season already until he comes

to the campus.

I don't think that they really have an expectation.

I don't know if Derek Dooley can't bring you home a national title.

I don't know if it can be done. 24 point favorites i'll say it curse of greg shiano all you crazy uh tennessee fans on twitter thank you big cat led by someone i don't know uh decided to oust greg shiano before he could even get the job and bring back phil fulmer i just love and i'm sure tennessee will be good eventually at some point in the rest of their history but when these teams have these downturns you saw it with nebraska nebraska's now back i don't know if you oh big time back yeah big time back but uh we make the jokes all the time with texas and notre dame like are they back it's something about these programs that expect that they're gonna you know like basically flip uh flip a switch and be like oh yeah it's's 1985 again.
Every time I watch Tennessee now, I just can't help but either think this could be Greg Sciano or this could be John Gruden on your sideline right now. And John Gruden's entire complexion in his hair would work so well with that color palette that you got there.
I'm just missing it. Or bring back Lane Kiffin.
Yeah, why not? Yeah. I just have a stat have a stat for you actually before i do a stat i wanted to quickly go back to the fsu game so the boise state quarterback true freshman wins on the road great second half the most notable thing about him though his brothers did you hear about this so hank back meyer is his name.
His three brothers, their names, Buck, Tiger, and Bear. That's a fucking football program right there.
Buck, Tiger, and Bear. How pissed are you if you're Hank? No offense, Hank.
No, I mean, that's a great name. But, I mean, that sucks.
If you had three brothers named Buck, Tiger, and Bear, and you're Hank. In that situation, it's a boy named Sue situation where you're always fighting against the fact No one names their son Tiger.
Idaho people. People in the fucking Mountain West.
Yes, of course they do. Of course they do.
They name Tiger. They basically name their kid whatever the first animal they saw out their window when they gave birth in a bathtub.
All animals that the father has killed at some point. Right.
He names his son after them to honor their spirit. He killed some badassank right before hank was born yeah some pussy ass no but seriously if your name's hank and your little brother's tiger buck and bear you have to almost step out more you have to fight you have to beat fsu in the second half this is a man that has been searching his entire life of some accomplishment that he's had that's been worthy of earning a nickname so i don know.
He probably needs a nickname now. How pissed are you that your parents didn't name you Tiger or Bear? Pretty upset.
Yeah. Hank.
I mean, Hank's a good name. I like the name Hank.
Bear. Bear.
Bear Lockwood. Who doesn't want to hang out with Bear Lockwood? Buck Lockwood? Buck Lockwood is awesome.
Buck Lockwood sounds like a 1970s backup quarterback. Or, yeah, like the bully from a 1980s movie.
Or just a porn star. Buck Lockwood.
Here comes Buck Lockwood. Great porn name.
He's varsity wrestling. Wearing his leather jacket down the hallway.
All right, so that was Hank Brock. All right, my stat.
The Big Ten was 12-2. Okay.
The SEC was 9-5. That's just the stat.
So Big Ten's back is what you're saying. You know what's the worst part about the SEC? And I joke like, oh, the SEC's dead.
The SEC is going to benefit from the fact that the bottom of the SEC is utter trash. So now Georgia and Alabama and LSU and Texas A&M and Florida, like the top of the SEC is just going to kick the shit out of the bottom.
And there's something different about if I told you right now you beat a team, like you beat Tennessee 56-7, that seems like a better win than if you beat Rutgers 56-7. Oh, absolutely.
There's no question. So it sucks.
Because Tennessee is still in the back of your head. They're like they were good at it.
They'll be back back. They have a sweet ass live mascot on the sidelines.
Feels like 98. Smokey is probably the unborn son, the unborn brother of the Hank Buck and Snake and whatever the rest of the bear family.
The other thing we had was two of the worst gambling losses you could have in the week one. I mean, I can't believe it happened.
Both of them in week one, Oregon plus three and a half. they were covering for 59 minutes and 51 seconds and then Northwestern which is just this has now become I think we just call it a Northwestern because it was a virtual replay of the Ohio State game day night game in Evanston like six years ago where the game's over and it's always when a team if you're like the 20 minus you're you're just like, fuck, this could happen, this could happen.
Please don't fumble. Please don't intercept this, and then boom, it happens.
And they even had a guy that was about to recover in the end zone. Of course they did.
And you saw it coming. As soon as the ball was fumbled, it's like, okay, this is over.
I didn't even see the end of that game. We all have a little mental check sheet during college football Saturday on which one of our bets are already winners and which ones are losers.
That one was firmly in the winners category. I had cashed that ticket.
Yeah, I did too. I had to find out from Twitter that I had lost it.
And that's the worst feeling ever. And I saw the highlight and everyone's upset about it.
I was like, well, I know exactly which camp I fell into on this one. Yep.
So bad beats are back. College football's back.
The Big 12 is back. The Big 12.

Yeah, Jalen Hurts.

Dude, now that they got rid of Mizzou, they're back.

That 600-pound squatter, man.

Every time they try to tackle him, people just bounce off of his legs. Can you imagine if, like, for once in the program's history –

I mean, they've been a great program, but if Alabama had a great quarterback

like Jalen Hurts, how unstoppable they would be,

like that's the one knock against him.

And he was fucking lighting it up. And Lincoln Riley – I'll say one bad thing about Lincoln Riley.
Go ahead. He's very good, but his collarless shirts piss me off.
Yeah, they don't look good. I see too much of his neck all day.
It looks like a CrossFit-type shirt. Put a collar on.
Wear a hoodie. Also unfair because he was up against the Swagmaster and Dana Hogerson who looks so good.
Amazing. When he pops that visor off in the hair.
The red really just makes everything pop. And he does the Cougar.
Yeah, he loves this one. Fucking love it.
Oklahoma, by the way. You think Lane Kiffin's trying to get FAU's hand signal changed to that too? Yes, probably.
No, they have the owl, which might be problematic now. Yeah, so here's the new Lane Kiffin.
The new Lane Kiffin is just the fist. This just the owl.
I'm going to fist you. This is the owl.
Oh, if you're watching on barstoolgold.com slash PMT, you can see what the owl is. Do Alice have penises? Uh, yes.
Small ones. All right.
They're like little drills. That's it.
Well, that's why their necks can turn so contortionally so that they can do other things. Yes.
Uh, by the way, oral birds themselves. I love Oklahoma football.
Their defense has been so bad in the last however long that they had like one quarter where they were tackling and everyone's like, oh, my God, this defense is incredible. They tackled.
It's a low bar space. It's a low bar.
How much do they hold Houston to? Was it like 31 points? Yeah, that's a solid defensive performance for Oklahoma. I was watching the game and I was thinking, like, Lincoln Riley is such a good head coach that if you're an Oklahoma fan, you have to be, like, a little bit afraid right now.
Right. Because is he really going to stick around there for life? He doesn't seem like a Bob Stoops, I want to make my entire life in Norman, Oklahoma.
I don't know. Especially he's going to— All those gimmicks won't play in the NFL.
They don't translate. When you have a good...
Big boy football. That's how...
If you ever want to be a real naysayer online about the genius of Lincoln Riley, just respond to every breakdown of the Oklahoma plays. Be like, if he had to go up against an NFL D lineman, he'd be fucked.
If they had to go against a real pass rush... Mission speed.
They can't run an RPO or... He's doing PROs well so pass rush off he's running some option plays that nobody's ever thought about doing which is faking a pass and then running it afterwards which is like that's to to a college football coach that's like discovering cold fusion he did a play where they did a uh a fake handoff and then a jalen hurts rollout that was going to be a run and then a pass and they did it another way too where the fake handoff and then a Jalen Hurts rollout that was going to be a run and then a pass.
And they did it another way too where the fake handoff and then a Jalen Hurts rollout with a fake pass, then a run. Chill out, Lincoln Riley.
Jesus Christ. Yeah, come on, man.
But I do think that there should be, I don't know, some sort of measure in place if you're an Oklahoma fan and you know that you won't be able to keep around for forever. Every fan base should be allowed to keep one head coach locked up and just having them be head coach for life in their little college town.
Like Jesse Pinkman cooking meth and breaking bad at the very end. Just keep him locked up here.
He's not going anywhere. But you only get to do it once every 50 years.
You get one head coach that has to live in a shack. Call it the Bill Snyder rule.
I like it, yeah. College football is better when you have guys that have been around a program for long enough to piss off everyone else in the state.
Yeah. And they own every cop within 150 miles.
Yes. That's what we love about college football.
The only other notes I had, Justin Fields is awesome. So Ohio State is going to be awesome again.
Jonathan Taylor is going to win the Heisman. That's not biased.
No. And then Bo Nix.
Bo Nix, who I didn't think was that great.

I mean, he's a freshman.

He's a true freshman.

Plays on the biggest game of the weekend, Oregon versus Auburn.

Makes the huge throw at the end, which wasn't like some fantastic.

It was kind of a jump ball.

But Bo Nix, the thing I love about college football and especially SEC football,

Bo Nix could never play another down in his life,

and he'll have a street named after him somewhere in Alabama.

Like that play alone.

They already have a street named after him somewhere in alabama like that play alone they already had the play up in the facility a picture of it it really helps that his entire name consists of two syllables right very easy for people in alabama to just slap that on a sign and named after obviously he's a son of an auburn player but also named after bo jackson can't really be better than that. Can't beat that.
That's actually a great governor's name for Alabama. Bo Nix.
Governor Bo Nix. B-E-A-U, though.
I don't know. I think the Boo, or how do you pronounce that? Buh? Just keep it simple.
Two letters. Two letters.
Very easy to sign. Buh.
I like that. Buh.
Buh. Have weicks where we're are we officially out on new turnover props yes that was that happened when nevada had a turnover uh towel i yeah the turnover towel was tough the um the turnover plank that kennesaw had last year the best pretty sick the two by four the best but they're yeah it's they're just everywhere right now Yeah, I'm so many turnover acts.
I think there was a mask. Yeah, there's a mask.

Oregon State has. sick the two by four the best but they're yeah it's they're just everywhere right now yeah i'm so many turnover axe i think there was a mask yeah there's a master school oregon state has the chainsaw yep which seems very very dangerous i like that though yeah that but i you know what they probably fucking took they took the chains off it yeah and also like the batteries out of it or some some bullshit they neutered it yeah they should actually let you run the chainsaw on the sideline yes they should they should just have a big tree and slowly chop it down i like that idea a lot.
They neutered it. Yeah.
They should actually let you run the chainsaw on the sideline. Yes.
They should. They should just have a big tree and slowly chop it down.
I like that idea a lot. They should do also just like something for the offensive line, like a pancake chain.
I like the. I like a block chain.
All the turnover chains are so funny because it basically is like, how many ways can we give the student athletes something instead of money? Right. But it's also not original at all.
The first one was very original, and it's like, oh, shit, we need to turn over something. Right.
But we gave them free Jordans. They get to eat.
They get $50 a day to eat. Maybe a couple jumpsuits throughout the season.
How about we let them wear a really expensive chain for 45 seconds on national television? Don't forget about the Cheez-It Bowl package that you get, though, if you make it there. Just a shitload of snacks i tried to buy a cheese it bowl tcu cheese it bowl championship shirt a couple weeks ago and it was out of stock really yeah i mean that's a collector's item right there was it nine six i only had three xl which would have been i would have had to gain the weight yeah that's tough yeah uh did you see mike leach so mike leach gave a press conference he's thinking about going to area 51 when they storm it of course i hope he the week off.
He's got a game that weekend, so he's like, I don't think I'll be able to go. Right.
But I'd really like to. Listen, Mike, I think speaking for the entire United States of America here, I think we will all much rather have you storming Area 51 and documenting your experience than coaching a game probably against Oregon State that weekend.
Just reschedule the game like you do when the hurricanes come or like any kind of like, oh, well, the lights went out. Mike Leach had to go to Area 51.
Yes, everybody will get it. At the very least, just send the Washington State flag there like on game day.
So we see the footage of people like storming it. There's somebody waving it in the background.
Right. Does Louisville think we're watching this game live, by the way? Does Louisville think they're going to fucking win this game by kicking field goals some of us need the over it's better than they're not going to kick out field goals to win this game all right uh should we talk a little nfl that was a good college recap um nathan peterman is on the ir yeah that's tough that was a tough break you see but he'll be back it's a minor injury yep and coach gruden's stockpiling quarterbacks again.
He picked up to Sean Kaiser. Yeah.
Who, by the way, Deshaun Kaiser, uh, someone pulled this, uh, I saw it on the big lead. Deshaun Kaiser had the worst Patrick Mahomes take of all time.
What'd he say? He said, uh, he was talking about himself before the draft. No one else game plans the way I do.
No one else prepares the way I do. No one else knows football the way I do.
No one else is as big as I am. No one else is as powerful a runner as I am.
Pat Mahomes might throw the ball 80 yards, and I can only throw the ball 72, but I guarantee he can't throw an out route the way I can. That's okay.
Yikes. Well, I've never seen it because I don't think he's ever played in an actual game, so the jury's still out on that one.
That is a pretty bad take, but just because he's a bad quarterback, that hasn't stopped John Gruden from signing that player to his team before. I think he might have already cut him, by the way.
This is what he does. He's like Jay Leno for cars.
That's what John Gruden is for old quarterbacks with a lot of mileage on him. Just needs them all in his garage.
Yeah, he just loves them. He's like a compulsive guy that collects quarterbacks just because he likes talking to him he likes being around quarterbacks hey did you hear about this one yeah exactly i'm pretty confident if if gruden wasn't an nfl head coach he'd just be a serial killer yeah probably is that fair to say well he did do monday football without killing anyone that we know of that's true that's we don't yeah well jury's still out on that kind of is the perfect cover because you get to go city to city.
Yeah, exactly. It's perfect.
You're only there for a couple days. John Gruden should be on the next season of Mindhunter.
Yeah. All right.
So the other news, we had LeSean McCoy to the Chiefs. Credit to Leroy, who was right.
Thank you. It took him a while.
Four months in advance. That's fine.
The tweet was he's going to get cut as soon as today four months accurate right accurate all accurate there was a material change yes in that they just had to wait four months to do it uh he's on the chiefs though now which i'm sure he'll be awesome like that feels like an andy reed i just picked him up and he's gonna have a resurgent year yeah then next year when everyone's like resurgent leshawn mccoy he'll tear his acl in training camp yeah so i i noticed that like he was very excited to get to kansas city immediately started saying i can't be i can't wait to be reunited with big red i forget did were we calling andy reed big red before he was on the chiefs i think so he was always big i think he's. Okay.
Yeah. All right.
Okay. That was one question I had about that.

But yeah, they're just going to do that thing where they throw a shitload of screen passes to him.

Yeah.

And I'm sure he'll get like 1,000 yards receiving.

Yeah.

And then Paxton Lynch got cut.

Shame.

Okay.

And then the big trade.

Wait, wait, wait.

We're just going to gloss over Kyle Slaughter?

Oh, Kyle Slaughter.

Yeah.

What happened with him?

So he got cut and now the Vikings are cursed.

They're cursed this year.

Oh, wow.

Kirk Cousins might not win a big game?

He won't win a big game.

The Vikings, who historically have been clutch in the playoffs,

aren't going to win the Super Bowl this year.

Kyle Slaughter got picked up immediately in Arizona, though.

So he'll be fine.

He got a good landing spot with Cliff Kingsbury.

I was worried.

I'm happy about that,

but I'm just officially cursing the Minnesota Vikings for this year. Yeah.
A franchise that has had all the success in the world. Yeah.
Do they have a kicker yet? I don't know. I don't think they do.
So, yeah, the Texans were busy, though. They were.
So, they traded for Laramie Tunsil and Kenny Stills. By the way, Brian Flores, they're going full tank, which is, I don't.
It's impossible. It's very hard for an NFL team to actually say to actually say hey guys go out there and kill yourselves and also try to lose uh but brian flores is doing the he's he's like most belichick disciples he's become a mini belichick in miami because i don't know if you saw but the report before laramie tunsel was traded when it was just you know out there said that the locker room would riot if Laramie Tunsil was traded because he was like the glue to the locker room.
And then he also had the Kenny Stills-Jay-Z thing. So Brian Flores has taken all the fun out of Miami and then says go ahead and lose for an entire year.
You're forgetting that they have the best anti-tank defense of all time, and his name is Ryan Fitzpatrick, who will win you five games out of the first seven every single season that ravens minus six and a half is like i'm i am i am a mouse just walking up and being like look at that huge piece of cheese and just grabbing it and snapping my neck in half so i will take that bet no you're right it is it's almost impossible to tank in the nfl and unless you do it from like a structural standpoint which it looks like they're trying to do a little bit, just getting rid of all their good players. But, like, you're right.
It's almost impossible to tank in the NFL unless you do it from a structural standpoint, which it looks like they're trying to do a little bit, just getting rid of all their good players. But you're right.
No one's going to go out there and not play hard on Sunday. So that's going to be tough to use.
Plus, I always say that in the NFL, if everybody is sure about something, then everybody's always wrong. I invented saying that.
You think the Dolphins are going to be good? I think the Dolphins are going to go 6-10, 7-9. I'll take the under on that.
And I think think the dolphins are going to go like six and ten seven and nine i'll take and i think and i think that daniel jones is going to i've tricked myself into thinking daniel jones will be a very good nfl that one i could see happening because they'll trade them winning seven games is the most insane thing i've ever heard six to seven games for the dolphins okay there we go seven games i don't they're going to win four at most that would still be an improvement over what most people think right they will beat the pats like in miami right yeah whenever that game is yeah yes um all right and then also jadevian clowny is on the seahawks which the seahawks i think and we're gonna do we'll do our predictions on friday um i like the seahawks out of the west before before jadevavion Clowney got traded there just because I think the Rams will still make the playoffs, but I think it's very hard to come back from losing in the Super Bowl. It's going to take a little time.
I think the Seahawks are going to be a tough, tough team like that. Like there will be that story in October.
Yeah. The Seahawks are back.
The problem is they just don't have anybody to throw the ball to. Doesn't matter.
They don't have any wide receivers. They've got Tyler Lockett.
I think he's the Lockett they still have, right? They drafted Metcalf. Yeah, but he's hurt.
Oh, fuck. Yeah, Metcalf isn't playing.
But I do think that defense is odd. Jadavion Clowney is a guy that is going to get Pete Carroll's gum jaw really going.
And he's playing for a contract. And he's playing for a contract.
And as long as Seattle Seahawks have at least two guys on that defense

with sick dreadlocks, their championship window is still open.

Correct.

They just look like the same Seahawks.

Correct.

And I'm always going to be like, I would be afraid to play against them.

Yes.

All right.

Should we do our football guy?

I'll tell you what.

If this fucking over, they scored 28 points in like five minutes.

Don't laugh, Liam.

There's a lot of football to be played. I hate football.
We got 11 minutes, 45 seconds left. We're fine.
I don't have the over, but we're fine. All right.
Let's do our football guy of the week. So first up, we have the nominees are Liberty head coach Hugh Freeze, who we have on the show today.
He coached from a hospital bed. Yeah.
That's going to be impossible to beat impossible it was pretty much dying the football guy of the year moment in week one the visual of him sitting in that hospital bed in that window was so fucking funny and then the the press conference after with all of the reporters sitting there while he skyped in was incredible i gotta wonder did anybody think to position his bed so that he was facing the field during the game so that he wasn't looking over his shoulder the entire time? Oh, my God. It was so, so good.
I mean, the whole thing. The thumbs up with Dino Babers at the end.
Yeah, we're going to get to it with Hugh Freeze when he comes on. By the way, Dino Babers just put this in the tickler file.
I was going to say this anyways before we interviewed coach freeze and he brought it up a couple times Dino Babers might be leading the league right now in terms of the amount of times you have to say the word classy yeah we discuss him yes he is the class like Tony Dungy was the classy guy for forever in the NFL Dino Babers is the classiest of the class head coach in college football he also also just has a winning name. Dino Babers.
It's either a winning football coach or like the neighbor of Fred Flintstone. Yeah, I was going to say, I was actually going to say a cartoon dinosaur.
One of those. That has like a lisp.
Yeah, it's perfect. It's perfect.
All right. The next one we have is LSU quarterback Joe Burrow, who Coach O, our friend, said that he smashes his head against the wall before every game to get himself pumped up.
Yep, the old Gus Farratt is what we know that as. That doesn't surprise me about Burrow.
No. Burrow's a big headbutt guy.
Yeah. Everybody, most guys growing up, they have at least one or two friends that are headbutt friends that usually it's pretty inappropriate and annoying to be around them.
But if you're wearing a football helmet, then it's cool.

Also, maybe the most badass thing that anyone could ever do in a bar fight

is go straight to the headbutt.

Straight headbutt.

Straight headbutt, that is the coolest thing you can do.

Oklahoma coach Shane Beamer gets stitches between his eyes

after headbutting a player during a TD celebration.

Metal as fuck.

Another headbutt guy.

And then we had Ohio freshman offensive lineman named Parker Titsworth, and he wears number 69. And that's it.
That's it. That's it.
I mean, under normal circumstances, that should be good enough for at least second place. We need to get a Titsworth jersey up here.
Yeah, just because we like the player. Right, right, because he's a prospect.
We're big Ohio State fans. Yeah, on our side.
And then we also had honorable mention. You mentioned this one.
Wyatt Teller from the Bills got traded to the Browns before Thursday night's game and still wanted to play in the last game for the Bills, which I don't do that, dude. He was just confused.
He was like, okay, I know I was traded, but do I still get to play? Yeah, imagine he gets hurt in that and then doesn't get the guaranteed contract on Labor Day and all that shit. Come on, man.
Come on. I don't know.
To me, there's something awesome about a guy that just like with his brothers one last time. He's like, hey, I'm here.
You might as well roll me out there one more time. Right.
Let's go to war. All right.
So that's our football guy of the week. We're going to put that up for a poll.
Everyone vote as a reminder. Every single week, whoever wins, we're going to try to get on the show.
If you can help, please help. We have Hugh Freeze on the show because we figured he'd win.
But going forward, if you could help us at all, get the football guy of the week. We had a good run the last couple years.
We even got the dog from the Boise State kickoff dog. That was amazing.
That was incredible. So vote for it and then send us any help getting the winner.
Okay. Who's back of the week before we get to coach Hugh Freeze? Hank, get us going.
Okay. I have a few.
Oh, good. First one is rookie hazing.
So push vacation of America has been kind of, you know, taking it away. People are scared to do rookie hazing.
They don't want to do anymore. Tom Brady, man of the people, brought it back it back i saw this he uh chase winovich has like long pft type ponytail hair and he brought a pair of scissors up to him on the sideline and started cutting it there you go did he donate it to i don't know i'm sure he did probably yeah that'd be great it was a pretty funny prank did he actually he actually did cut it right yeah yeah i thought he just did the whole like pretend to cut it and then just show the scissors also, do you think the minute I saw that video, I was like, well, they're both Michigan guys, so he probably can't be mad.
Like, not even though he can't be mad. No.
Tom Brady. I feel like he did that because he's a Michigan guy.
Yeah, well, I also feel like Michigan guys always stick together and pretend that it's 1904 and they beat the YMCA. I don't think Chase Winovich, a rookie, is going to get mad at the greatest quarterback of all time.
But also, like Michigan, man, they are very much like a high-and-tight haircut type of program. The Yankees.
So, yeah, cut those sideburns, Mattingly. Not looking good for Louisville, by the way.
Notre Dame just scored. We need one more touchdown for the over.
The Joker is back. Both the movie.
A lot of people are talking about the reviews of the movie being really, really good. You quit apparently you can retire from tennis in the middle of the game it's called having a shoulder injury so bad that he couldn't even walk how does that not come out before the game starts to match because it got worse and worse as he lost the first two sets idiot it's tough to battle back from a shoulder injury after you're already going to lose.
Right. You lose the first two sets and then it's like, ow, my fucking arm really hurts.
Guess what? He also probably wanted to let Nadal and fucking Rafa. No, that's the same guy.
Yeah, same guy. Rafa and Federer.
Federer and Warrinka can play each other. One of you idiots can win while the goat rests up his shoulder.
Do we have a Doug Gottlieb take yet about another millennial retiring early because of his shoulder? No. I'm waiting for that.
Come on, Doug. Copycat league.
Probably a sticky fingers Gottlieb probably out there stealing something. Imagine if Gottlieb was the tennis ball boy at the U.S.
Open and just fucking stuffed all the balls in his pockets during the game. Or if Gottlieb.
Everyone's like, dude, I want to serve the ball. He's like, I don't have any.
His pants are just – he's wearing like the cargo pants with like eight different pockets. He's like, I don't have any.
He's just stuck full of balls. He's got a backpack.
He's got a clown car filled with tennis balls. They're under his hat.
He's got like the Pharrell hat. He's just got tennis balls inside.
Doug Gottlieb should be the joker. He just loves to watch the world burn by stealing inconsequential shit.
Maybe he'll steal his take. And then my final who's back is feel-good scholarship stories.
Okay. The Nevada freshman hit a last-second 56-yard field goal to beat Purdue.
And then in the celebration in the locker room after, he gave him a scholarship, which is like... Yeah.
That seems like a spur-of-the-moment type scholarship. Yeah.
Where the coach woke up the next morning with a big scholarship hangover. Like, oh, no, what did I do? Something about Nevada, by the way.
At Nevada? I gave him a scholarship. Every time I watch a game in Nevada, I I don't know what they do they just release like trash in the air and it just blows everywhere every single time you watch a game there the wind it was just trash passing game no no I'm talking about their actual trash on the field it looks like someone just ran a ticker tape parade like five minutes before the game started and it's all game long and it's every time I watch Nevada.
I need to watch more Nevada home games then. CBS Sports.
It's Wyoming, Nevada. All those Mountain West teams, I just feel like they're just ingrained in my brain.
That's just the trash blowing in from Burning Man. That's like embers from the man that got lit on fire.
All the cool people. Is that it, Hank? Okay.
All right. My Who's Back of the week is giant tennis balls at the u.s open a tradition unlike any other it's the only time that you ever see it but for some reason everybody that attends the u.s open walks around with a giant fucking tennis ball that they get everybody to autograph and then they get home and they're like shit what do i do with this huge tennis ball and who are these people that i'll never use for the rest of my life i don't even have a place in my apartment to put this because I live in New York.
Yeah, and who's this guy who signed it who makes like $30,000 a year traveling around and losing in tennis matches? Right. It's just one of those things that you see.
It's like a turkey leg at a state fair. If you see somebody else walking around with it, you're like, oh, I should get one of those while I'm here.
I got to have one. So I guess I'll buy a big fucking tennis ball.
Okay. That's it.
I like that. My other one was going to be John Gruden, but we already discussed him.
Okay. By the way, if Triggs is listening to this, can you draw a picture of Doug Gottlieb, which is stuffed with tennis balls everywhere? Thanks.
My who's back is Hurricane Innovation. That guy looks exactly like the dude in my avatar.
I think it's the same person. Yes, yes, yes.
I really do.

If you can put him side by side, I'm like 90% sure that if it's not the same guy, it's an idea that the dude in my avatar has thought of before. Okay, so play the clip right here.
Can't see how they haven't come up with some kind of way to combat these storms yet. They keep saying now, two days ago, three days ago, oh, it's going to hit all this warm weather, all this warm weather and warm water.
We have a Navy. Why don't the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it can't get going as fast as it's going? There's got to be ways to combat this instead of just pointing at the thing and say, well, now it's getting worse.
Yeah, we know it's getting worse. But you tell us, oh, it's the warm weather.
Oh, it's the wind. Well, we have an Air Force.
Drive some Air Force planes around to get the winds going the opposite way. The Navy to go in circles to fight it the other way.
Hurricane innovation is fully back because every time there's a hurricane, it feels like a lot of ideas come out there and we haven't tested any of them. So this guy liked dropping ice into the water.
Wait, like icing the hurricane? Yeah, no. Take a knee and chug you little bitch? He's like, they talk about this warm water.
Why don't we just ice it? Flying the Air Force at the hurricane to reverse the wind patterns. I think that was like an issue of Superman the comic book.
I just know that it feels like hurricanes are at the point where we should solve it. Why don't we just...
Windmills on the coastline. Windmills or just build a giant blow dryer on the east coast of Florida.
Orida or just ice it just get maybe get one of those icebergs that everyone's crying about and bring it down just to florida just tow it down yeah tow it down why don't we just uh we'll just cover it in saran wrap first and then bring it down okay so it doesn't spoil yeah yeah just or we could send a bunch of tennessee football fan ships at it and just light the hurricane on fire. Yes.
What would happen if you parachuted into the eye of the hurricane? Dude, you'd probably... You'd get so laid afterwards when you have a great story to tell.
By the way, there's a meteorologist who... But, like, there's nothing going on in the center of it.
It's the eye. It's the eye.
So if you... Like, you know, they show the views from space.
Like, if you fell straight into the eye, would you even get wet? Fellas. No.
No, you wouldn't. There's no rain there.
I love looking at aerials of hurricanes. I just want to say, like, fuck the hurricane.
Yo, big time. We're disavowing hurricanes.
We're disavowing hurricanes. Russia's selling Bahamas Strong's 100% of proceeds.
There we go. 100% of proceeds go to the Bahamas to help them in their rebuilding and recovery efforts.

Anti-Nazi, anti-hurricanes.

Yeah.

But hurricane science is back in a big way.

Yeah. I really don't see a problem with just flying the Air Force.

I know he didn't really think through that idea.

Well, he's an ideas guy.

But flying the Air Force directly at something, I mean, we don't know if it doesn't work until we try it.

Correct.

Correct.

And icing a hurricane, same thing.

Bombing a hurricane.

That is Geostorm, but yes.

So there's that Geostorm idea.

You ever see the movie Outbreak?

Yeah.

What if we drop the bomb from Outbreak that sucks everything in?

That works too.

The giant vacuum bomb.

A big net.

I might have invented the vacuum bomb part.

Maybe the nets that they refuse to put up around Major League Baseball parks,

so kids just keep getting beamed by balls. Put that over a over yeah because you're not using it yeah right okay um let's get to coach hugh freeze this over is not gonna hit we're gonna get right back to the show the last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button.
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Restrictions apply. USA! All right, back to part of my take.
And now, Coach Hugh Freeze. Okay, we now welcome on what we assume will be the Football Guy of the Week going away because it was one of the all-time greatest football guy moves we've ever seen.
It is Coach Hugh Freeze, the coach of Liberty. Coach, we've got to start with just a basic how are you feeling because you coached in a hospital bed.
Yeah. I've had better days, Big Cat.
It's been a tough two weeks know i haven't been on the practice field in 16 days

and that's just misery to me thanks to our it department i do get to watch it live and kind of communicate with our coaches via walkie-talkies but it's uh certainly not the same and it's been this difficult and disappointing that it happened this time of year i'm really uh anxious i've got I'm going to get a report tomorrow or Wednesday from the doctors as to whether or not they're going to try to do another procedure to ease some of the pain that I'm having in the lower back. But I'm hopeful I don't have to do that because that would really be another setback.
And, you know, what really happened was the staph infection somehow got to my spine and kind of had its way with one of those lower discs. And now I think the operation was successful.
The staph is under control, but for some reason, my body is retaining a lot of fluid in that area, which is causing the spine,

I mean the nerves there to be irritated,

and they may have to go in and drain some of that, I'll know, in the next few days.

But we're praying that it's going to be good news

and I can get back on the practice field in a week or so.

Yeah, we hope so too, Coach.

This is PFT here.

I was curious when I saw you up there coaching the game,

did it occur to you that maybe you should sit this one out, Like maybe the doctors would like you to take it a little bit easy? Yeah, it's been a back and forth with the doctors and I on that. And it really, had it been anything where I would have had to sit in a chair or stand, there's no way I could have done it.
And the Liberty IT and engineering departments came to the, I'm staying in a hotel room across campus so that I have everything live feed to me. And they came to me and said, coach, we've got an idea.
We think we can cut out a part of a wall and put a hospital bed for my medical school in there

and lay you down.

Because I'm very comfortable laying down because there's no pressure on that area.

When they said that, I feel like I owe it to our kids and coaches.

If I can add some type of value to be there for them, man,

I'm going to do anything possible that doesn't set me back. And so I talked to the doctors, and when I told them that I would be laying down on the bed, I don't know if it was reluctantly, but they said that they would agree with that.
And so that was the only possible way that I could have been there. So the, I'm a huge wrestling fan and late nineties WWE.
And I have to say that you getting wheeled in, in the wheelchair and then doing the press conference beforehand from the hospital bed, it felt like stone cold Steve Austin was going to pop out of that, that, that hospital, you know, or whatever room you were in and start hitting you with a bedpan. Did you at any moment, were you like, this is a little absurd, or were you just like, I'm here to coach football? No, you know, I also am an old wrestler, man.
I don't watch it anymore, but when The Rock and Stone Cold and those guys were doing it, I was into that too, and I can visually see exactly what you were thinking and then and truthfully truthfully I really thought I was going to coach football and then when all of the interviewing started from it and and me looking like I'm just that was a little over the top for me I didn't but I didn't quite know how to say no to uh to you know the people that always do the pre-game and. And then our IT department had it hooked up where I could do the pregame talk from there and then talk to our players at halftime and postgame.
That was pretty neat. But the interviewing and then doing the press conference from there did feel a little bit over the top.
Yeah, yeah. I got to assume there was maybe a little bit of, I don't want to say helplessness that sat in,

but you're up there in the booth and you're used to being on the sidelines

where you can scream at the officials and all that stuff,

so you're missing out on a little bit of the normal game day experience.

Did you find yourself trying to yell at the refs, trying to get involved like you normally would,

or is that kind of an interesting, I guess, something a little bit different that you had to adjust to no it felt totally uh out of out of place for me i didn't feel it feel at home i didn't feel uh almost uh surreal like it wasn't a real game um it was totally different you know i've never been in the press box uh and and called a, and it did feel quite different. You know, I've got a great staff that's done a great job preparing, and then, you know, we just, you know, obviously we didn't play very well on offense and give Syracuse a lot of credit for that.
I think they're a very good defensive football team, but we had our chance to get a few points early on in the first half and missed both opportunities to do it and from there it's pretty downhill but but my it just it just really seemed odd to me and hard to see because of the angle of the bed uh to see everything that was going on so it was uh something i'm not i really hope i never have to do again but it i mean it proved in football guy fashion like you will lay in a hospital bed while you're coaching football that's that's kind of the mantra of the football guy yeah he basically goes in the end of the earth to coach football that's right well i mean i set out you know i mean i've waited a long time for this opportunity and then I told my players when I saw them it will take

a lot to keep me from being there and i wanted to just make sure i proved that to them we also got to give you credit for the post-game press conference which um i have to admit i laughed because it's just the visual of people sitting in a press room and then you're skyping in or teleconferencing in. But you holding the Coke Zero, I think it was, whatever the Liberty official drink is, that was a nice touch by you.
I'm glad you noticed that and pulled that out. I see Nick Saban doing that all the time with his Coca-Cola, so I figured I better get Coke Zero in for the Liberty.
You know, we're a Coke Zero team. Yeah.
I got to admit, I was rooting for you guys because I wanted to see how you might handle the post-game Gatorade shower from your bed if there was a protocol in place. I would have let them pour whatever they wanted to on me had we won.
And, you know, the very the interesting thing and i'm glad no one got it on camera is is the fact that i had to have a pee break and i couldn't move out of bed that was quite interesting to see my coaches you know they didn't know they had signed up for that yes when they when they tried to help me get get that's about the middle of the third quarter oh Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, so wait, they shield it? They shield the windows? Well, they finally got the shield up because I was begging, man, somebody please shield it, but I can't hold it any longer.
And you're still coaching through the whole thing. I coached through the whole thing.
Yeah, so I have to also ask, the end of the game, when you gave the thumbs up to Dino Babers coach of Syracuse,

and he gave you a little,

it was basically a handshake from 400 feet away or whatever it was.

If for some reason we've seen games where coaches maybe don't agree at,

at,

at the 50 yard line after a contentious game,

if that had been a contentious game,

what is it like?

Do you get,

do you,

do you throw them the,

you know,

flipping the bird? What do you do? You got to do something different, right? No, I would have done the same. He would have too.
He's a class act. And, you know, he just, you know, if it had been contentious, the way probably would have been a little shorter for both of us.
But, you know, it wouldn't have been anything that he had done or I had done. It just probably would have been some calls that we didn't agree with or didn't go our way, and I don't think you hold that personal toward the opposing coach.
I thought what he did was a very classy gesture. I'm glad I saw it because I was kind of trying to hook and help me get out of this bed, and my operations guy said, hey, look, Dino's motioning to you.
So I'm so glad I saw it. And I texted him after the game and just told him what a class act I thought it was.
I appreciate him wishing luck. And he did the same for us.
I also noticed that you were wearing your game day full attire on the sidelines. You had the shoes on in the bed.
For me, if I'm laying down. Didn't have the pants on, though.
I couldn't get them on. I tried.
It was way too difficult.

Oh, coaching in your underwear.

That's a fantastic move.

Well, no, I had khaki shorts on.

Yeah, which is a great backup plan.

I mean, you looked like you were ready to get down on the sidelines there.

I've never laid in bed with shoes on, I don't think.

But I saw you, and I was like,

that's how I would do it if I was coaching a football game.

Yeah, I had to wear my game day shoes that were dressed to me by Nike.

Yeah.

All right, I got a question for you, Coach Freeze,

because through the football guy years and everything we've talked about,

one of my favorite moves of all time was something you did at Ole Miss,

and that was the fake funeral.

Can you talk us through that?

Because that's a legendary football guy move.

Yeah, that one got quite blown out of proportion a little bit. There was never any casket.
There was never any funeral attire. It was simply a slideshow on the big screen of, at my funeral, this is what I would like for my wife to say about me, my kids to say about me, my players to say about me, my friends to say about me.
And then I went from there on how do I get there? Because all of us make mistakes. All of us have things that we are not quite proud of.
And so how do you make the most of the time that you have remaining to make sure if this is what I won't set about me, you know, how do I do it?

So if this is my funeral, you know, what is my wife going to say today?

And what are my kids going to say? What are my players going to say?

So it was more of a,

of me having a conversation about that than what it kind of grew to be.

Okay. Well, I'll put my hand up.

I probably had a part in making it a bigger than it. You probably started that, didn't you? Yeah, I would like to live.
I think when I first read the story, I was like, Coach Freeze had all his players show up to the practice facility, and there was just a casket there, and his assistant coach said, Coach Freeze died last night. Yeah, that's no truth to any of that.
Damn. We're hoping it was like a viking funeral type thing where they just they wheeled a casket out onto the 50 yard line set it on fire and said you killed your coach because you didn't play hard enough yeah that's so y'all are definitely wwe yeah so so along those same lines is there anything else that you've done uh through your years of coaching that has helped motivate the team something maybe a little outside the box like a fake funeral? I haven't.
Let's see. I'm sure there are some things.
I did take a team through this. We probably can't do this anymore, but we did this Army deal relay race through this swamp.
It was quite interesting. That's awesome.
And it was a lot of fun but uh i don't know if i've done too many other things that are quite out of the box yeah i mean coaching in a in a hospital bed is pretty out of that's just pretty out there you just kind of take what life throws at you yeah yeah um i i heard that a a mutual friend of ours uh my old colleague ben carson helped you uh to identify that maybe you were dealing with a serious medical issue. Was there any truth to that story? I'll tell you what, you know, you've done your homework.
And, you know, I'd been in the hospital two days, and really we weren't sure exactly what was going on because, I mean, I'd been at eight straight practices of fall camp and, you know, running around wild, man,

excited to be back out there in no pain at all and after practice eight of a scrimmage um and I'm sitting in the film room with our coaches and going over it and with our players and didn't have the walk through and all sudden, you know, my back just starts getting really tight.

And by the time I got home, I told Jill, you've got to help me to bed.

And the next morning, I couldn't walk.

And so we got to the hospital, and I had no pain in my legs or anything,

but in total spasms if I even moved.

And so I wasn't really sure what was going on,

and they did a little epidural hoping that would use it it didn't phase it and that was day two and that's when I called the Jerry Falwell and just said you know I'm not sure what's going on but I I'm hopeful you have some contacts in the medical field that can help us and man it wasn't 10 minutes that my wife was on the phone with Ben Carson, and I think he may have been one of the first to say, you know what, this may be some type of infection or an attack on a disc or something and not necessarily a disc issue. And so then we immediately started saying, well, where can we get him to handle that? And again, Dr.
Jerry Falwell was able to get one of the top. Ben was willing to help us, but getting to Johns Hopkins in the pain I was in was a very difficult task.
And so the next best option that they recommended was another top surgeon that does this, Dylan Elagala. And he's in Scottsdale, Arizona, and Dr.
Falwell flew him into UVA. He has surgical rights there, and man, I'm just thankful.
He came in, he spent five minutes with me, saw me, and he says, you've got some type of infection in your spine, and we've got to get in there right now, and you know, the morning 7 a.m we went in sure enough it was uh somehow it got staph in my bloodstream and it attacked that area and and thank god they got in there fast enough so it didn't go anywhere else all right we we hope you uh you start feeling better pretty soon here um i i had one more question about kind of the the protocol afterwards. I always see football coaches, they get the state trooper escort after the game, you know, out to do the handshake.
Did you get the state trooper escort out of the press box when they were wheeling out? I had the chief of police for our university took care of me good. All right, I got one last question.
It's our SeatGeek question. You want to go to a college football game this year, put in promo code TAKE,

you get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.

So you did the hospital bed.

You said you don't want to ever do it again.

I think next week you're going down to Louisiana.

What happens if the doctor says you've got a coach in a wheelchair or with an IV bag next to you? Are you doing that on the sideline? Oh, man. If he says I can do that, I will be there.
I know I'll get talked about again and made fun of again, but I'll do that for my kids and team if we can do it. I am going to listen to them, though.
I want to get well for the the long term and we're going to have a big conversation on thursday i know and and kind of see where things are but if if he says that's permissible you'll you'll be talking about me again okay maybe toss in a fake funeral just throw it in there if you so yeah yeah really do it just be like hey listen i was in a hospital bed and just be like, actually, this is the perfect time. You can have one of your assistant coaches be like, hey, guys, we didn't score on Saturday.
Coach Freeze died. Well, I tell you what, if I have many more Saturdays where we don't score many, you'll have to be – I'll be on suicide watch probably.
There you go. Here's what we can do.
You can bury the hospital bed. Put that behind you.
A lot of coaches have the football. Burn it.
Yeah, you've buried some footballs, I would assume, right? Yes. Yeah, you got it.
I could burn the hospital bed and then come out with a steel chair. Perfect, perfect.
All right, Coach Freeze, rest up. Hopefully you feel better.
And congratulations on winning the Week 1 Football Guy of the Week. It's a big award and uh we'll send you something in the mail we've been saying that to everyone we've never sent anything but maybe you'll be the first one yeah well thank you guys so much all right thanks coach we're gonna get right back to the show auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it.
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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's do some segments.

Notre Dame's not going to hit this over.

They're going to run this out.

Yeah, but Louisville's going to cover, which is nice.

Yeah, but... Oh, breaking moves.
Breaking moves, Hank. What do you got? What do you got? It's kind of not really breaking.
I just forgot to mention it. But White Panda, the remix masters this entire month, the month of September.
My favorite. It's going to be White Panda Month.
They made a bunch of Take On Me remixes. They're all...
I mean, we've had some good ones over the years, but these ones are all extremely high quality. So we're going to put one on the end of each episode for the entire month, I think.
Yes, thank you, White Panda. Shout out to White Panda.
Thank you. I mean, I've heard them all, so I'm excited, but I'm excited for everyone to listen to them week by week.
White Panda, they're so fucking good. And that was actually one of the most random follows that I got that I was like, oh, fuck yes.
Because it happened a couple years ago, uh barely legal if you've never they're like year-long remixes they used to put out do they still do those that i mean 2016 i think was the last one i remember but so good the best the best so shout out to the guys from white panda go listen to them right now um okay first up is that brand new's about to be right chocomel for real cover they taste the tits real good. Damn.
Nailed it, Hank. Good job, Hank.
Is Pat Riley dead yet? Pat Riley was trending. I thought he died.
He did not. He did not die.
Thank God. And that was his Pat Riley dead yet.
He's as alive as he's ever been. He was on a boat with Dwayne Wade, dressed like a pirate, dancing.
Cutting an absolute rug. And yeah, he's just one of those guys who as he gets older he's cooler yeah he looks awesome and and with Dwayne Wade it's one of these situations where a guy retires and now he just hangs out with other retired people so like once you once you stop working I feel like you don't really have an age anymore you're just like he's now Dwayne Wade's an old guy right Right.
Pat Riley has to be, and it's not Mount Rushmore season anymore, but has to be on the Mount Rushmore of greatest stories that he holds in his brain. If you sit down, think about it.
The Showtime Lakers, the Knicks in the 90s, Dwayne Wade and LeBron, winning the championship with Shaq and Dwayne Wade, he has seen and done so many things.

I guarantee you he just has stories on top of stories on top of stories.

Yeah.

I would also say that he's probably on a Mount Rushmore of cool, slick ass old dudes.

Yes.

He was slick ass young dude.

Yeah.

But now he became a slick ass old.

Yeah.

He's almost like he's almost younger now that he's old, if that makes sense.

Rare to happen.

Usually slick ass young dudes age poorly. Very poorly.
Yeah. Who do you think is a better old man dancer, him or Mac Brown? Mac Brown, damn.
Mac Brown, fuck, he's so good at the media shit. The way he was crying after the game, it's like, God damn it, you did it again, Mac.
You fucking did it again. And then his dance, he has not missed a beat on the how can I get more recruits to UNC cry about my kids and then dance in the most awkward way possible.
That's kind of endearing. Yeah, no, he always looks like he's he's a father doing like a choreographed father's daughter dance at a wedding.
Right. Like the little hand motions that he was doing.
Just corny, but lovable. Allvable yeah so shout out mac brown being back um all right next up we have we already did talking tennis uh because uh because we're on a collision course we said federer and rafa in the finals uh to once and for all determine who's the goat uh uh we have bad visual Joe West.
He fell on Rajay Davis. Is he okay? He did the move where he actually put more.
I had to delete the clip because I'm always scared of the MLB, but I had it up for a while. He fell on him, and then to get off of him, he put all of his weight on his lower back.
And the whole thing was ridiculous because Joe West essentially was saying, I'm too lazy to move three feet when I know there's going to be a plate at the plate. It's Joe West's area.
Extremely relatable, yeah. He does not give a fuck anymore.
I have to imagine if you were to make a list of people that you'd want to fall on you, Joe West would probably be towards the top. He's got a body type that seems like it would feel kind of nice to have him land on you.
Pillowy. Yeah.
Very pillow. There should be a Korean massage where it's just, they bring Joe West in and then he just like trips and loses his balance and then has to excuse himself and waddle out.
The visual of, of Joe West falling on top of you and then like being on top and he was on top of him for a while. Yeah.
No, you got to go face down. Yeah.
That's why you do it on a massage table where you're looking through that. But then I don't think Joe West, I think Joe West is like a turtle on its back.
Like if Joe West goes to the ground or like a horse, like you can't let a horse or what is it, cow? Well, a turtle too. If a cow goes on the ground, you got to kill it.
Not calling Joe West the cow. That's not true, but yeah.
But if Joe West goes all the way to the ground, I don't think he's ever getting up again. Right.
They're bringing out the apron, they're putting it around him. The shower curtain and shooting him like a horse.
Yeah, the tarp might be one answer. If you just get another portly guy in like a turtle to just walk over to him and belly up and just roll him over onto his feet again, I think that would probably work too.
That probably would. He just needs somebody with his exact body type.
He needs Kevin Farley to come in and just be like, hey, stand up. Right.
Right. Yeah, just come on.
I'm going to bump you up. Yeah, bump each other up, and then they both end up in the mud.
We just have to blow up the whole stadium. It's the worst disaster.
Because we're just never getting out of there. All right, last up before we get to hashtag hyphy.
I don't even know what we're calling this one. LeBron just – LeBron's an asshole.
Let's just go. Just business hour with LeBron.

Okay.

And I'm sure the LeBron stans will get in my mentions and be like, you just hate him.

You just hate him.

Whatever.

Fine.

I do just hate him.

He is trademarking Taco Tuesday.

Trying.

Trying.

Wild.

This is the guy who his big inventions, his big ideas, business ideas.

Yeah.

Talking in a barbershop. With his friends.
With his big ideas, business ideas. Yeah.
Talking in a barbershop.

With his friends.

With his friends.

Space Jam 2.

Mm-hmm.

Remember when he created Plinko?

The greatest game of all time.

Literally the greatest game on Price is Right.

He was like, I'm just going to make, I'm going to call it The Wall

and put it on ABC.

On LeBron James.

He invented book clubs.

He invented book clubs. He invented somm clubs.
He invented sommeliers, shi-shing. Yeah.
And he has invented now Taco Tuesday, which has been trademarked by, what was it, Taco John's? I was going to say Competition Tuesday for Coach O. Does he really think he created this? Yes.
Yes, you can trademark Taco Tuesday. It's already of those guys where he thinks that anything he says, he's doing in a service because it's LeBron.
So it's like, yeah. He's the GOAT.
The same guy. Listen, if you scream anything loud enough into your Instagram stories, it becomes your trademark.
If you do it for enough weeks in a row. I don't know how you LeBron people wake up in the morning.
Let me just say as nicely as possible with a bunch of rings as only three not a bunch a bunch of rings a bunch would imply more than three is a few yeah you had to endorse some some brutal brutal finals losses okay so i'm not endorsing his finals losses finals losses what i am endorsing is the fact that he owns getting a haircut and eating tacos. Yes.
Hang out in a barbershop with your friends and eating Mexican food is property of LeBron James. And it seems like that's, I'm actually just describing DJ Khaled's life.
You know how when you go into a pitch and they always say, don't compare it to something else that's really good. Don't be like, hey, I got Uber for scooters.
LeBron just goes into a pitch he's like i got plinko i got plinko but i said it yeah i got plinko i it's it that's the end of the pitch i actually wouldn't put it past lebron to be like in a business meeting this is uber but for tacos on tuesday where you make you can only order on tuesday it's a gig economy where everyone out there is their own chef, and they're all making their own tacos. God damn it.
I love it. All right, last up, we have a hashtag hyphy.
So, oh, by the way, we're going to have a show tomorrow, so back-to-back shows. We're going to do, we have Jerry Ferrara, Turtle.
You might know him as Turtle. Awesome interview, and also we're going to recap Hard Knocks, the season finale.
Speaking of back-to-back PFT, we haven't talked about this since last week, so I don't know if you've cooled down on it, but is that diss track still happening? Oh, yeah, the diss track is coming. Yeah, good call.
I wrote it on Friday. So, yes, I'm continuing my battle against Drake, even though he did write the seminal lyric of Our Generation, Imagine If I Never Met the Broskies.
That was good, and I mentioned that in my song, tip of the cap, Drake. But I'm coming out of his ass.

And I wrote, I basically.

You better be ready.

I heard some of it.

I heard some of it.

I murdered him.

Like, he's dead.

He's already dead.

I haven't even laid it down yet.

I almost feel bad putting Drake out of business like this.

I need a fumble.

That's not happening.

It happened in Sanford Northwestern when I didn't need one.

Hank, when are we going to put out back to back?

Friday. Friday.
Okay. Nice little treat taking you into NFL weekend.
I like it. I like it.
I love it. Okay, hashtag hyphy.
Imagine if Drake responds. Does he have one of those lame Twitter? It would be the first time.
His Instagram handle is... Oh, damn, Hank.
Oh, yeah. You got him.
Get him, Hank. Is he Champagne Poppy on Twitter? You don't know.
Is he that Champagne Poppy guy? Yeah. Saw somebody say that.
Yeah. You know.
He doesn't tweet. All I'm saying is the second family was mentioned a lot in the lyrics that I wrote.
You went there. A lot.
You went there. That's, dude, that's, you broke bro code.
Yeah, I did. Big time.
Well, I mean, you can say it about Bartolo Colon. You can say it about Drake.
That's true. All right.
Hashtag Hyphy. So I think when we created this, it was just explain a hashtag.
And right now there's a hashtag trending called things we should cancel. LeBron.
No. if you cancel lebron you also cancel tacos you realize yeah and making fun of lebron uh-huh true we can't do that yeah no i'm right hank you you you you would miss it we all would miss it uh i want to cancel comedy specials because i'm sick of people telling me i haven't seen the chapelle special but i know it's i know i'm not supposed to like it or i am supposed like i don't i just want to watch a comedy special and laugh but now it's become something that i have to have a very strong opinion about oh yeah whichever way you respond to it then you fall you're that guy on whatever side of the argument there's like no gray area what's i watched it i thought it was okay Oh, i allowed to say it was okay no dude it was okay i don't think so the parts that he's getting criticized for it's it was kind of weird how he handled some of it where basically for half the show he was like i'm gonna say some stuff that people are gonna get mad at me for saying but i'm gonna say it right he's gonna go there oh i'm permission to go yeah permission to go there which is like a weird way to frame it if you going to tell jokes and not be afraid to go there, then the jokes need to be really, really, really funny.
Yes. And sometimes they were.
Sometimes they were. I thought it was OK.
I just that OK for me to think. No, it was like I'm exactly 50 50.
No, you're not. It's not OK.
So I'm ready to cancel comedy specials. I don't want to do comedy anymore.
OK, just forget about it. When did we start? It's not worth it.
Yeah, it's not worth it. What else do you got? I'd like to cancel.
Well, I'm told that we already are canceling Christian Girl Autumn. Is that true? I was getting all set for it.
I got some lip gloss. I got some riding boots.
I got some nice jeans. Big hat.
Some scarves. But I'm told that Christian Girl Autumn is getting canceled.
Okay. That's fine.
Is that news to you? I don't want to. It's not something I want to.
I've heard Fuck Boy Fall is happening. Oh, nice.
What about Hot Boy Summer? Are we just going to roll that? Yeah, we can roll that. I still got a little hotness left.
That rolls into Fuck Boy Fall. Yeah, I didn't use all my hotness up.
What about, I was thinking September, where we just take a lot of, we eat a lot of Tums. I like that.
Avoid heartburn. I like that.

Be responsible. How about hurricanes? Just cancel.
If we canceled hurricanes, maybe that's really the idea. Fuck putting ice in the Air Force.
Just cancel them on Twitter. I think it's like an ecosystem thing, though.
What? You take away hurricanes, then the whole world crumbles. That's true.
How does that work? That's just my understanding. Flooding and erosion.
Everything you just said is right. Okay, Hank's what if what if we stopped naming hurricanes and we stopped giving them the distinction of uh of having like a proper name or i feel like we're giving hurricanes too much of the spotlight when all they're doing is just destroying everything we should just call them evil storm they should they should have put the names for hurricanes up for auction and then all that money goes to fighting the hurricane yeah but then companies go fund me yes companies no but companies will bid with each other to be like hurricane progressive hurricane awareness month do you really think that like a company like would want their name associated with a storm that's going to kill how many impressions are no they're anti hurricane no such thing as bad press is that what you're saying yeah kind of okay and because then all the money is going to then hurricane relief.
So it's like, yeah, you're actually you're, you know, you're helping. What if you just named hurricanes? Like if you were to able name a hurricane after your ex, that'd be pretty sick too.
What if we did the windmill thing and it was a text, you know, it's like text to this number for a dollar to the Red Cross? If you texted it and then the text message controlled the windmills.

So every time you hit it, it windmills.

Why don't we hook up every single Peloton bike in the world?

Correct.

To an anti-hurricane.

I'd kill that hurricane myself.

Yeah, an anti-hurricane, like giant leaf blower.

Yeah.

I want to cancel scooters.

Bird scooters?

All of them.

Razor scooters? I'm kind of done with them. Because they're just intimidating.
Yeah, they're fun, but they're also intimidating. And I just, I don't know.
I'm done with them. I'm done with them.
We don't have them here. I'm like Mr.
Portnoy now. Yeah, we don't have them here, which is good.
I feel like I've seen, dude, in Brooklyn, they have actual motorcycles you can rent. There's a black market for scooters? That doesn't seem safe.
No, I don't like that. No, it's like Vespas.

You can rent a Vespa.

I don't like that.

Yeah.

I don't like that at all. It's crazy.

Yeah, I like canceling those.

Okay.

Bird scooters.

Canceled.

It's canceled.

I'm going to cancel.

I'm just going to cancel Kirk Cousins.

I'm mad at him.

Okay.

And Doug Gottlieb.

And Doug Gottlieb.

Unless he's a ball boy.

Yeah, he's one of those where you want to keep him around so you can say, here's a bad guy.

Okay.

Anything else?

I think that's good.

We should cancel.

Yeah.

So do the, what is it?

Hashtag things we should cancel.

When this ends up going out, people are going to, the hashtags will be over.

It's one of those hashtags that was funny first.

And then people made it very political.

Not if you listen to it right when we put the show out.

Yeah. Then you can cancel anything.
Yeah. yeah oh also uh speaking of canceling scooters i know that austin has a real scooter problem a really bad scooter problem i'm gonna be in austin on wednesday night come out to a seamless plug come out to east side tavern come to east side tavern we're doing a power hour the hard factor uh will you for me will you kick over at least three scooters? Absolutely.
Okay, thank you. Appreciate that.
And I'll hide some of them, too. And you'll be back because we're doing a live stream at the FanDuel Sportsbook for Thursday Night Football.
That's true. Bears-Packers.
Very true. NFL 100.
Get ready. Even though I'm wearing an NFL 75 hat.
That's fine. You're just supporting the entire continuum of NFL football.
Right. I have all the time

from 0 to 100.

Alright. We'll see you tomorrow.
Love you guys.

Thank you. Take on me.
be on me. We'll never pray.
Thank you. To be safe inside To be safe inside To be safe inside To be safe inside To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside

To be safe inside To be safe inside To be safe inside To be safe inside I'm going to remember He's shining away I've got to be in the way I've got to be in the way I've got to be in the way I've got to be in the way I've got to be in the way I've got to be in the way We'll be right back. Thank you.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
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