Raiders Luke Willson, Hard Knocks Episode 4 + Mt Rushmore Of Toughest Pills To Swallow

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners.

Speaker 2 You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Speaker 7 Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 8 paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 8 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 11 On today's part in my take, we have Raiders tight end and star of episode four of Hard Knocks, Luke Wilson, friend of the program.

Speaker 10 Also, we threw in a little extra story that Luke Wilson told us a couple years ago about the Seahawks locker room after they lost the Super Bowl.

Speaker 13 We have Hard Knocks episode 4 recap.

Speaker 20 Yeah, we waited up.

Speaker 10 Fuck you, HBO, go.

Speaker 22 We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and Mount Rushmore of the Toughest Pills to Swallow.

Speaker 25 It got dark.

Speaker 8 Yes, it was not a fun Mount Rushmore, but it was a good one. It was a good Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 26 Right.

Speaker 8 It was one that we all, you know what? This Mount Rushmore was a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 3 Right. So just open wide and swallow that shit.

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Speaker 10 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 10 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 10 And then I love the sound of work to be done.

Speaker 10 No place behind a low washing.

Speaker 10 And then I can't name all on the sun.

Speaker 10 Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue.

Speaker 10 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 10 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue.

Speaker 28 And then we

Speaker 28 take it

Speaker 20 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.

Speaker 3 Use code Barcel. You get $5 for free, $5 to the ASPCA.

Speaker 33 Today is Wednesday, August 28th.

Speaker 14 Let's have a good show, boys.

Speaker 3 Knock on wood if you're with me.

Speaker 7 That was all of Hard Knocks.

Speaker 35 And we also had.

Speaker 36 And also, guess what?

Speaker 37 Huge, huge night.

Speaker 23 The biggest takeaway for Hard Knocks, huge, huge night for the anti-cord cutters because HBO go just decided not to put it up till 1115 so i just want to say vindication for me for you pft yeah i'm not a cord cutter you have you have cords hell yeah we all have cords so listen it's been a talked about thing on this show all you millennials doug gottlieb shout out doug gottlieb uh which we'll get to later all you millennials cut your cords I wanted to watch hard knocks at 10 o'clock and I couldn't till 11.15.

Speaker 8 Yeah, listen, I pay my $250 a month in cable fees like everybody else so that I can watch

Speaker 8 it. So I can watch hard knocks one hour before everybody else.

Speaker 26 I don't know.

Speaker 44 I think my cable...

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 23 All right. Let's go sidetrack real quick.

Speaker 45 I think my cable bills a lot because I have the three TVs in my living room.

Speaker 10 Turns out, ready for this, the OK button that is broken.

Speaker 24 So I mash it really hard and it works after like

Speaker 48 10 mashes, right?

Speaker 3 Turns out, every time I mash it, it hits OK on the bottom boxes.

Speaker 1 So I've purchased like six movies by accident in the last week.

Speaker 8 So you're up to like 350 for them.

Speaker 49 But yeah,

Speaker 20 I bought the Lego movie five times.

Speaker 35 That's film. And I've watched it.

Speaker 8 Every time I get my bill, I just get the text and it auto-drafts out of my account or whatever, and it's always like $250. I'm like, yep, that's the price for sports.
Yes.

Speaker 8 Sports in America costs $250 now.

Speaker 8 Sports while you tweet.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 7 Verizon. No, yeah, Verizon 5.

Speaker 8 Sports while you tweet costs $250 in America. That's what it is.
Yes. So yeah, the Knock on Wood was excellent.

Speaker 8 Canadian Luke Wilson, who's coming up, who's coming up on today, star of the show, was excellent.

Speaker 8 My big takeaway is that nobody on the Raiders can sing. Yep.
It's like if the B-52s made a football team, they are very, very bad at all types of songs. They had Hunter Rinfro on last week.

Speaker 8 He tried to sing Ain't No Mountain High Enough.

Speaker 8 By the way, if you want somebody to sing that song like from Remember the Titans, you get Richie Incognito up there to heal all wounds in the lock, or either that or have him just do a tube.

Speaker 8 Everything's forgiven. A Tupac song with all the words.
You know, Richie will say all of them.

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 They're all so bad at singing. It's shocking to me.
Yes.

Speaker 41 My two big takeaways, Nathan Peterman is unbelievable.

Speaker 35 Yes.

Speaker 54 Fourth quarter comeback, which I loved watching because I actually won money on that.

Speaker 48 So shout out Nathan Peterman, Mr.

Speaker 13 Fourth Quarter.

Speaker 11 And my other big takeaway is...

Speaker 10 Derek Carr is so damn awkward.

Speaker 33 And John Gruden, he is John Gruden's shadow. He's John Gruden's Andy Bernard.

Speaker 10 When he was like, hey, so where are you going to dinner tonight?

Speaker 42 And Gruden was like, well, we got to decide the roster with Mayoc.

Speaker 47 He's like, okay, cool.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 21 Cool. That's your first problem.

Speaker 4 Just hanging around waiting for the invite.

Speaker 36 And it's just, I might be looking too much into it, but you know what? No, I'm not.

Speaker 24 Derek Carr.

Speaker 8 You're a weirdo, dude. Chill out.
You should know by now that John Gruden doesn't eat dinner. He just eats what's ever in the vending machine.

Speaker 8 Breed him, if you want to eat dinner with John Gruden on the road, you just bring in a shitload of Fritos and Diet Coke. And you say, okay, boys, we're having a feast.

Speaker 7 We're doing it.

Speaker 3 But no, seriously, Derek Carr, I felt like every time John Gruden turned around, John Gruden definitely

Speaker 10 has nightmares of Derek Carr just sneaking up behind him and being like, Coach, you see that?

Speaker 44 You going to dinner?

Speaker 52 Where are you going?

Speaker 40 Chill out, Derek Carr.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're going to play for a year, and then John Gruden's going to move on.

Speaker 47 Yes, he does.

Speaker 8 Probably with Nathan Peterman. He's definitely not in love with you.

Speaker 8 The word I want to start getting going for Nathan Peterman is Moxie. Moxie.
The kid has Moxie. I don't know what Moxie means.
It does.

Speaker 8 But I know that when you have a quarterback, I know it when I see it, it's like pornography, right? Yeah. He has Moxie.
I enjoy watching him play.

Speaker 8 Somehow, he just realized, hey, maybe I throw the ball to my team. He took Blake Boldo's advice.
Yep.

Speaker 48 Said, stop throwing interceptions.

Speaker 8 Nathan Peterman, I'm going to say it right now. He might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year.
Okay.

Speaker 59 I mean, we're doing that from injury?

Speaker 8 In at least one game.

Speaker 52 Injury? No.

Speaker 8 In at least one game, John Gruden will just get pissed off at Derek Carr.

Speaker 34 Yeah, because he'd probably be like, Hey, hey, coach, are we going to dinner after the game?

Speaker 8 And it's one of those things where, like, if you don't like somebody, all their mistakes appear much bigger to you.

Speaker 41 Everything annoys them.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so like he says something to, like, that Gruden doesn't like over the headset, uses a word he doesn't like that he doesn't understand. Everything's like, get this asshole out of the game.

Speaker 42 Goes a little extra on the mascara.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm putting it for the game. He's a Peter Man man in the game, and he's going to go out there and win it for me, or at least lose it by less.

Speaker 3 It was actually by far the worst hard knocks episode we've had, but John Gruden, after winning a preseason game, he's got to walk.

Speaker 41 He likes it, basically, his chest and his gut leads him where he like walks.

Speaker 14 It's like walking a dog.

Speaker 3 His chest and his gut are walking John Gruden.

Speaker 41 His chest is puffed out.

Speaker 47 He's like, man,

Speaker 46 this feeling. It's like, dude, it was a preseason game on an 80-yard field.
But that's what John Gruden is.

Speaker 1 He is such a football guy that I realized watching that, I just need him to be good because a cocky John Gruden is so entertaining.

Speaker 58 Yes, so entertaining.

Speaker 8 And a disappointed John Gruden is very depressing. Yeah, I don't want that.

Speaker 63 I don't want stuff.

Speaker 35 I've seen that.

Speaker 63 It sucks.

Speaker 64 Yeah, it kind of is.

Speaker 4 When they win, they carry it in their shoulders unlike anyone else.

Speaker 10 Most coaches, when they win, lose, they're kind of the same.

Speaker 47 When John Gruden wins,

Speaker 7 he can't hide his emotion.

Speaker 65 It just is, it's like beaming off of him.

Speaker 4 It's radiating off of him.

Speaker 41 It's a fucking preseason game.

Speaker 39 Imagine if he actually won in the NFL.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so, I mean, you compare him to other NFL coaches. Like, you look at Jay Gruden.
Jay Gruden has like 180-degree different body length.

Speaker 8 When he wins a game, he's like, I'm fucking glad that I didn't lose that game.

Speaker 25 Yeah, thank God this is over.

Speaker 8 Yeah, holy shit. I'm walking out of here with a win instead of a loss.
That's amazing.

Speaker 66 He just slaps hands.

Speaker 8 He's got, you know, like you picture Andy Reid walking, you probably picture like a tuba soundtrack following him around, right?

Speaker 35 Look at John Gruden walking around after a win.

Speaker 8 he's got the bee gees blasting inside his own head yes his non-stop ladies man

Speaker 64 yeah and he's just fucking he's basically gliding he's pointing he's giving finger guns oh finger guns ass slaps back slaps man see a man he's walking by the ball boy he's like what's up freckles yeah hey buddy hey good game you want me sign he just signs it yeah and the kid's like dude i don't i'm the ball i work for the team yes i actually worked for the packers yeah i don't need your signature but he's just feeling it i love it i need more of it.

Speaker 11 It is just, it really is contagious on a television screen.

Speaker 8 Did you hear his little quote when it was like it was in the middle of the knock on wood montage? And he was like, I don't want to see you guys shoving sand up a flea's ass.

Speaker 52 There you go.

Speaker 8 I don't know what it means. Absolutely no idea what it means, but I'm not going to try to do it.
Knock on wood if you're with me. Not shoving sand up a flea's ass.

Speaker 33 The only other quote we had that I loved was the opening monologue when I think it was a defensive line meeting.

Speaker 47 And he was like, I love you guys, but some of your old football sucks.

Speaker 39 He's like, and you got to be ashamed of it.

Speaker 34 And that's the ultimate, like, hey,

Speaker 48 this is business.

Speaker 30 It's not personal.

Speaker 41 If you need a recommendation, I got you.

Speaker 33 But you fucking stink it. I'm going to cut your ass in a minute.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that was a pretty good quote. I like that.
I also like the return of Brogan. Brogan rowback Broby.
He's made his long-awaited return to hard knocks.

Speaker 8 They need to bring him back just every season. He needs to FaceTime a player on every season of Hard Knocks.

Speaker 10 Yeah, he just shows up.

Speaker 8 I've realized this the last few weeks on hard knocks. I think professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the rest of the project.
Well, that's an age thing, too. Is it?

Speaker 8 But I think it's mostly like I know some people in that age group and they don't FaceTime.

Speaker 58 They text.

Speaker 3 Well, it's also professional athletes are in good shape.

Speaker 5 They always look good.

Speaker 3 So they it's kind of cheating that they FaceTime.

Speaker 52 Yeah. Because

Speaker 3 every time I FaceTime, I'm like, oh, that's me.

Speaker 8 I spend 90% of my day trying not to show my face. Right.

Speaker 55 Ooh, that's my neck. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Yikes. So, and I just flip it and just show Stella the whole time.

Speaker 8 Yeah, looked at the dog. Yeah, I thought.

Speaker 33 Yeah, I don't don't want to see my fat face.

Speaker 33 Okay, speaking of my fat face, if you want to see my fat face, barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 9 You can do it right now.

Speaker 13 BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 33 We got a new one coming. New bonus episode coming in a week and a half.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Yeah. September 8th.

Speaker 47 September 8th.

Speaker 43 And yeah, check it out.

Speaker 33 You can watch every single podcast. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 17 Okay, let's do some hot seat cool throne. Hank.

Speaker 8 My hot seat is PFT.

Speaker 35 Oh, PF Tricky, PF Chang, Kung Pow Chiki. Oh.
What's up? The Corp is back.

Speaker 66 Oh,

Speaker 35 okay.

Speaker 49 Damn,

Speaker 7 trying to get a wedge there, huh?

Speaker 71 No, I'm not.

Speaker 72 I'm just saying, like, you know, people say that.

Speaker 53 What about people are saying?

Speaker 7 What about even though we've done like a million side projects,

Speaker 7 they've never been as big as this one.

Speaker 8 I've heard that people are saying that Big Cat's on the hot seat because Erica Nardini is taking care of the podcast.

Speaker 66 True, good point, PFT. Very true.

Speaker 8 He's cucking Big Cat out of his podcast with A-Rod.

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 10 So the Corp launched.

Speaker 7 It is my

Speaker 56 side project with A-Rod.

Speaker 7 Your side piece.

Speaker 37 It's two episodes a week on Tuesdays.

Speaker 6 So it does not conflict with part of my take.

Speaker 73 This week was Martha Stewart and Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 74 Listen to it.

Speaker 7 And then next week, there'll be two new ones, and it's going to run for about six or seven weeks.

Speaker 14 So check it out.

Speaker 17 Not, not.

Speaker 7 a wedge in between this podcast, even though actually the biggest wedge in this podcast, if we're talking about other podcasts, is the Fantasy Football Powerhouse.

Speaker 16 Factory.

Speaker 8 Fantasy Football factory powerhouse, which takes place in this very studio. And Hank just leaves shit everywhere.
There's spreadsheets everywhere.

Speaker 20 Everything's unplugged.

Speaker 21 You just move everything.

Speaker 24 We need to start

Speaker 6 some kind of fine punishment, whatever, if we come into this studio again and everything's been moved and unplugged.

Speaker 8 We make things just so I can tell when I sit down if somebody's been sitting in my chair. Yeah, why don't you

Speaker 49 plug it back in, Hank?

Speaker 23 Why don't you take only photographs, leave only footprints?

Speaker 14 Fair enough.

Speaker 72 Okay. Subscribe, unsubscribe, resubscribe.

Speaker 39 And to the Corp.

Speaker 71 And to the Corp.

Speaker 72 Big Cat did a, whatever you call it, Hannibal Ector impression in front of Martha Street. Oh, I forgot about that.

Speaker 12 I put my drawing on the corner.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that was very weird.

Speaker 35 Yeah. How'd you take it?

Speaker 72 She was talking about the actual actor.

Speaker 53 Like, she's like, I dated Anthony.

Speaker 76 Oh, she dated Anthony Hopkins.

Speaker 65 I was like, ooh, you didn't like some fava beans and nice candy? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Did he eat your fucking camera?

Speaker 77 And she just looked at me like, is this fucking idiot serious right now?

Speaker 35 I love it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, there's definitely a weird dynamic sometimes when a guest knows A-Rod and obviously has no idea who I am and just looks at me like this fat fucking moron is somehow in this room with me.

Speaker 73 But I love Martha Stewart.

Speaker 78 She was awesome.

Speaker 79 She actually was legit.

Speaker 46 She was youthful exuberance.

Speaker 71 Indeed.

Speaker 80 And then my cool throne is me.

Speaker 35 Oh, good. Very nice.

Speaker 17 I finished Football Powerhouse Factory.

Speaker 35 Oh.

Speaker 72 New episodes on Thursday. Okay, okay.

Speaker 35 I wasn't going to say that

Speaker 20 you guys brought it up.

Speaker 72 I would never cross-promote. I know this is a part of my take-only podcast.

Speaker 53 However, this has nothing to do with the fantasy football podcast on iTunes.

Speaker 72 This is all about me and the fact that I picked up my laundry.

Speaker 35 Yeah, okay, you got your bag.

Speaker 8 I saw that.

Speaker 66 Let's go. Hey!

Speaker 47 Was there anything missing?

Speaker 80 I have no idea. This was the feeling of going through this bag.

Speaker 72 It's like it's like meeting kids that you were on your freshman dorm, like kids that were in your building that you're like friends with, and you run into them at a bar like five years later.

Speaker 7 Well, you can only relate to that because you only went to freshman year.

Speaker 80 No, I know, but say it's like you run into someone, you're like, oh, like, I know you. Like, I remember you.
Like, we were close.

Speaker 72 I haven't seen you in a long time. But, like, now that you're in front of of me, like, we're cool.

Speaker 59 I'm happy to see you. Does it feel like new clothes?

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 72 But it's more like it's like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 82 Like, I forgot I had.

Speaker 75 Is that what you're wearing right now? Yeah.

Speaker 16 Oh, wow. It's good.

Speaker 3 It's a good sweatshirt.

Speaker 72 But the thing is, I didn't remember that I didn't have it. Like,

Speaker 72 it's like you forget about it. And when you're going through the bag, like, oh, yes.

Speaker 49 I remember you for like first time. Yeah.

Speaker 66 Yeah. We had good times.

Speaker 53 Like, why can't we keep being friends?

Speaker 8 Let's be bros. It's a time capsule.
Now, how long ago did you drop this off?

Speaker 35 Over a month.

Speaker 8 Okay. So it's a time capsule from a month ago.

Speaker 12 So it's like, I like forgot about.

Speaker 83 You know what you should do?

Speaker 18 Ooh, how about this for a life hack?

Speaker 43 If you live in New York City, very relatable,

Speaker 78 and no one has storage here because everyone lives in a fucking shoebox and it's the worst city in the world.

Speaker 73 You should drop off all your winter clothes in April at the laundromat and just leave them there until the fall.

Speaker 83 A little treat for yourself.

Speaker 52 Then bring them back.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 8 That's not a bad idea.

Speaker 26 That is a life hack.

Speaker 77 Just came up with that one.

Speaker 58 Life hack. Is that it, Hank?

Speaker 8 That's it. So I'm on hot seat.
You're on Cool Throne. Yes.
Got it. Good job, Hank.
Thank you. My hot seat is Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 70 Prep Hank. That's all.

Speaker 35 Uh-huh.

Speaker 8 Kirk Cousins is on the hot seat because I don't know if you guys...

Speaker 55 The last name Cousins.

Speaker 8 What do you mean? Today?

Speaker 8 Never mind. No, we're not getting into that.

Speaker 8 We're going to brush past that one. But no, I don't know if you've watched any Vikings preseason games, but Kyle Sloater, their third-string quarterback, this guy, we talk about preseason all-stars.

Speaker 8 This guy is the best fucking player in the history of any league's preseason of all time. I watched him play on Saturday against the Cardinals.
He looks cool.

Speaker 8 He wears one one of those new visors out there.

Speaker 84 Which are cool, the tinted visor.

Speaker 23 The tinted visor.

Speaker 54 The lightly tinted visor. They brought him back since 1998.

Speaker 32 You haven't been able to tint your visor.

Speaker 8 Listen, Kirk Cousins needs to be benched. Kyle Sloeder needs to start the season for the Vikings.
Here's some stats from Kyle Sloeder, okay?

Speaker 12 First of all, how do you spell his last name?

Speaker 40 S-L-O-T E. Where did he play college?

Speaker 8 Well, he played one year at Northern Colorado. So he's at 25, but he's a young 25.
Yep. He's only got like four years of football on him.

Speaker 29 What was he doing before that?

Speaker 8 Yeah. He was sitting on the bench at Southern Miss, I think.

Speaker 5 No, but like, was he 25?

Speaker 79 Like, was he, did he have a couple years off?

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 8 he's been in the NFL. He was a true senior when he played his one season.
Got it. And now he graduated.
He started on the Broncos. He's 6'5 ⁇ , so it's a shock that John Elway ever let him get out.

Speaker 8 But I figured that John Elway saw Brock Eisweiler and was like, oh, there's a 6'7 guy.

Speaker 52 So next decade,

Speaker 8 the 6'5 guy is expendable. Listen to these preseason stats, okay? In the preseason, he has thrown 95 out of 126 completions.

Speaker 85 Okay, so he's thrown that many passes? Yes.

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 35 He's thrown a thirty seven.

Speaker 25 Oh, not this season.

Speaker 66 Not this season.

Speaker 52 I'll tell you what, I'll break it down.

Speaker 8 First year, 31 for 43.

Speaker 3 You don't have to.

Speaker 8 400 yards. 41 for 56.
Second season, 366 yards. So far, this season, he's 23 for 27 for 280 yards.
He has 10 touchdowns in preseason. Not this year total.

Speaker 8 10 touchdowns in preseason, zero interceptions, 75.4% completion rate.

Speaker 37 All against the the backups.

Speaker 8 And he's a fucking. Well, you can purchase on that and say, with the backups on the field with him.
So you can't really, you can't put that on the defense if his offense is also third string.

Speaker 8 Also, I got this tip from somebody. This is from

Speaker 8 Twitter user Tommy B730. One season in Madden, his franchise quarterback got hurt and Sloater had to start for the next four to six weeks.

Speaker 8 After three weeks, I traded my franchise quarterback because Sloater was so good. So then there you go.

Speaker 43 Straight from a scout's mouth.

Speaker 8 All aboard the Sloater boat is all I'm saying.

Speaker 8 He makes $640,000. Kirk Cousins makes $30 million.

Speaker 35 So why is Sloaner getting cut?

Speaker 8 You fucking know that Mike Zimmer hates paying a quarterback $30 million a year.

Speaker 55 He's paying anyone anything.

Speaker 8 Yes, correct. Everyone should play the game for free.

Speaker 7 Everyone should play it for a nice pouch of red man.

Speaker 8 Nice pouch of red man and a hidden sunflower seat and a cool eye patch. But Kyle Sloeder is the fucking truth.
I want him on my team.

Speaker 8 If he gets cut, there should be 31 hungry teams chomping at the bit to pick up Sloater. Kyle Sloeder.
I'm starting starting the bandwagon.

Speaker 24 By far the most that Kyle Sloater will ever be talked about

Speaker 55 in any show ever.

Speaker 8 He came into the game, and the Vikings announcers were like, well, Sloater's coming in, so he's about to throw two touchdowns and win the game. What does he do? Take

Speaker 8 care down the field twice. Two touchdowns.

Speaker 17 Win the game.

Speaker 8 No big deal. That's what Sloater is.

Speaker 12 Slooter time.

Speaker 8 Sloater time. My cool throne.

Speaker 7 Open up a nice can of Sloater. There you go.

Speaker 8 The Sloater cycle. Yeah.
Take it nice and Sloater. I could go on.

Speaker 12 We could do it for days.

Speaker 8 Cool throne is Chick-fil-A

Speaker 8 because Popeyes ran out of chicken.

Speaker 8 So we're going to talk about the chicken sandwich again. Chick-fil-A is looking pretty happy right now because there's no more chicken sandwiches for Popeyes.

Speaker 8 They took it off the menu until October at the very earliest.

Speaker 1 That's, I mean, this is straight out of the McRib handbook.

Speaker 8 It is. So everyone's going to be chomping at the bit before Smart comes back.
It's Smart by Popeyes for now.

Speaker 8 But in the meantime, it gives Chick-fil-A the opportunity to kind of like circle the wagons a little bit because they know they got their ass kicked by this. They're not going to do anything.

Speaker 59 It's been open on the city.

Speaker 35 Chicken Wars.

Speaker 66 They have.

Speaker 35 They have the ultimate like

Speaker 8 a free card. They'll never do it.

Speaker 72 If something happens, they're going to have to do it.

Speaker 8 If anybody from Chick-fil-A listens, I'm going to give you a way to compete at least with a Popeyes chicken sandwich. Okay, number one, maybe stop with the gay bashing.
Number two,

Speaker 8 develop an extra spicy chicken sandwich. If you go to market with extra spicy, that'll take all the buzz off Popeyes.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 35 I would agree. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 8 People would be down for a fucking extra spicy chicken sandwich.

Speaker 6 Number three, do a shamrock shake in October.

Speaker 8 Or get Billy McFarland involved.

Speaker 16 Also, that. Somehow.

Speaker 26 From jail.

Speaker 8 He'll probably be selling like

Speaker 8 a chicken sandwich.

Speaker 14 Sell Popeyes chickens via email.

Speaker 62 He's sending an email being like, we've got 50 Popeyes chickens ready to go in Manhattan.

Speaker 8 Yes. If you buy this card, this black card,

Speaker 8 then you get access to the line that nobody tells you about that is actually just leading directly into a brick wall. Right.

Speaker 13 In front row to the U.S.

Speaker 32 Open that no one wants to go to.

Speaker 67 Yep.

Speaker 8 My other cool throw is Doug Gottlieb. Yeah.
Because Doug Gottlieb, he apologized to

Speaker 35 awesome.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so he did a major sorry, not sorry. He apologized for everybody not getting his joke.

Speaker 8 So he was joking, but he was also kind of being serious. So his explanation was,

Speaker 8 I was being a smartass and I was joking, but at the same time, you have to admit, like, millennials are. So he totally apologized, but then said that he didn't need his apology.

Speaker 24 He also replied to a friend of the program, Aaron Nagler, and said,

Speaker 65 when Aaron was like, hey, delete this, man. This is stupid.

Speaker 3 He replied, do you think Alex Smith, who's trying to rehab from this injury, like would quit?

Speaker 63 So he was 100% serious.

Speaker 8 No, he's totally serious, and it's proof to him that millennials are too sensitive.

Speaker 8 Millennials like Bo Jackson and Troy Aikman.

Speaker 35 I have

Speaker 60 a slight addiction going on.

Speaker 14 It's the seeds of an addiction.

Speaker 10 So on the Yak, the radio show, we both host radio shows.

Speaker 52 on

Speaker 8 tie projects.

Speaker 40 You're going to bring up the video.

Speaker 21 Well, you have one too, big if true, right before the yak.

Speaker 56 People have been calling in and giving Doug Gottlieb klepto stories,

Speaker 65 and there are so many, and they are all hilarious.

Speaker 2 He apparently, I believe in it, allegedly, alleged, he apparently at ESPN, there's like a green room where guys will like, you know, like

Speaker 61 they'll take off their tie or their belt or shoes.

Speaker 46 He would just take stuff.

Speaker 20 He would just like take another man's shoes.

Speaker 8 Like it was from Wardrobe.

Speaker 35 Yes, take another man's shoes.

Speaker 24 You know, like, there's some charity golf thing stories.

Speaker 4 I am slowly becoming a Doug Gottlieb fan just purely on the fact that if you don't have everything nailed to the floor, Doug Gottlieb will come and take it.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's fine. I like that.
I mean, he led the League and Steals when he played at Oklahoma State.

Speaker 58 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 35 That makes sense to me.

Speaker 8 So here's the thing about Doug: he missed a golden opportunity with all this. His apology was very misguided.

Speaker 8 You got it at that point, you have to double down and you have to become the Andrew Luck hating guy. Like how Colin Coward is the Baker Mayfield guy.

Speaker 8 And every time Baker says something, it's like Baker's putting a little food in Colin Coward's little dish. Being like, here, eat up, Colin.
Eat up, you little puppy.

Speaker 14 Shout out to Colin Coward, who like two weeks ago said Baker Mayfield needs to act more like Andrew Luck.

Speaker 35 There you go.

Speaker 26 Nailed that one. There you go.

Speaker 8 Good job, Colin. Calculate.

Speaker 72 He also said last year that

Speaker 72 Andrew Luck is going to start a 10-year dynasty.

Speaker 67 Cow Curd.

Speaker 65 Makes sense.

Speaker 8 He should just become the coward of Andrew Luck. And just every time Andrew Luck shows up in the news, that boom, you got an hour's worth of radio right there.

Speaker 26 That no one will listen to.

Speaker 8 Yeah, well, people will interact with it to dunk on you. Everybody dunked on Doug Gottlieb.
That's one of those beautiful moments where the internet kind of comes together to hate on the same person.

Speaker 25 It was sarcasm.

Speaker 12 It was sarcasm. That's what we said.

Speaker 88 Everyone knows I'm sarcastic.

Speaker 64 Witty Doug Gottlieb.

Speaker 44 Yep.

Speaker 88 Who would have known that we would have two of the greatest comedians of our time drop hits this week?

Speaker 69 Dave Chappelle and Doug Gottlieb.

Speaker 8 That's crazy. Yeah.
Damn. Doug, you really blew this one.

Speaker 17 Yeah, wow.

Speaker 62 All right.

Speaker 77 My hot seats is normal baby names because Bryce Harper named his kid Crew.

Speaker 35 Good name. With a K.

Speaker 84 Good name.

Speaker 8 Crew with the C is a good name.

Speaker 66 Crew with a K.

Speaker 35 Crew with a K.

Speaker 88 And then he did Aaron with just one A as his middle name.

Speaker 17 Aron. No.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Crew, Aaron.

Speaker 8 Was the K backwards in crew?

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah, there was a Motley Crew umlott over it.

Speaker 8 Because that motherfucker strikes out a lot.

Speaker 19 Crew.

Speaker 65 And it sucks that he didn't have this this kid last year because it would have been great to be like, well, he's got a dog named Wrigley and a kid named Crew, so he's going to go to the Brewers.

Speaker 10 He's going to go to the Cubs.

Speaker 14 He wants pinstripes.

Speaker 60 He should have done that. He should have fucked with everyone.

Speaker 8 He's going to go to Columbus or last.

Speaker 2 Yeah, or named his kid like,

Speaker 43 I want to be traded.

Speaker 8 Yeah, or he's going to, yeah, he's going to quit to pursue rowing.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 77 Yeah. He's, I don't.

Speaker 89 Crew.

Speaker 8 That's a K. That's what that tells me.
Crew with a K.

Speaker 51 My cool throne is.

Speaker 8 But you're not bitter that he's not with the Cubs.

Speaker 37 No, actually, I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 3 This is dead honest. Yes.

Speaker 32 Bryce Harper would be a very redundant talent to what the Cubs have right now, and the Cubs need professional hitters, not more guys who hit home runs and strikeout.

Speaker 16 Okay. That's actually the facts.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 22 Like, I wish they had more Cassianos, not more Harpers.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 77 My cool throne is my dental health.

Speaker 1 I went to the dentist for the first time in four years, only two cavities.

Speaker 88 Upset of the century.

Speaker 39 That's pretty good.

Speaker 10 I was so pumped when he told me, he's like, you only got to get two filled.

Speaker 12 Boom. We need a little fist pump.

Speaker 8 Not to stun on you, but I went to the dentist for the first time in like nine years, two years ago. Didn't have any cavities.

Speaker 55 Well, that's because you're not eating enough of the good life.

Speaker 35 Yeah. Sugar.

Speaker 8 Well, no, that's correct. I go full paleo.
Dummy. If you're in ketosis, your body is protected against all holes.
So

Speaker 43 check off another thing off my list of trying to become an adult because I'm a father now.

Speaker 7 So I went to the dentist.

Speaker 8 Did they now? Did he give you the lecture of you need to floss?

Speaker 69 Oh, dude, it was, there was a lot of lectures.

Speaker 8 Bro, i floss every day you see my kicks the the best was uh

Speaker 65 the the hygienist before she started cleaning my teeth was like is there anything i should know do you dislike anything i was like i hate all this that's why i haven't been in the dentist four years so everything you do i'm gonna do that like weird gag where you think i'm gonna throw up and my face hurt because i was cringing so hard it's time to ask the question are dentists scams like because between me and you only two we're averaging one cavity

Speaker 35 one cavity in the last like 12 hours

Speaker 35 he didn't go go in. Yeah, Hank.

Speaker 49 How many cavities did you have?

Speaker 40 No cavities, just a couple root canals.

Speaker 76 Yeah, the special cavity.

Speaker 2 That was, he also asked the dentist, was like, so I see you had a root canal.

Speaker 26 What happened there?

Speaker 9 I remember it vividly.

Speaker 8 I had four cavities last time I went.

Speaker 88 And I got two of them filled.

Speaker 65 And mid-dental visit, I pretended I had an emergency because I hated getting the cavities filled so bad.

Speaker 76 I left after I got two filled.

Speaker 5 They're like, you ready to do the other two? I I was like, no, I got to go.

Speaker 7 Ignored that for six months.

Speaker 8 Both became root creams. Wait, so when you have these two cavities right now, are you going to get surgery for them?

Speaker 26 Are you going to get the no, I'm going to get them filled.

Speaker 66 I made it.

Speaker 63 I made it back.

Speaker 44 I'm going next week.

Speaker 48 Okay, so here's what we have.

Speaker 8 We have to turn that into content somehow and record a segment of the show when you're numbed up.

Speaker 84 Yeah, but it does, it's they don't gash you.

Speaker 14 They just numb your gums.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but they'll numb like your cheek.

Speaker 35 Okay, I'll try. I'll take a video.

Speaker 12 I'll try.

Speaker 69 We should do that.

Speaker 24 But yeah, I basically, I knew that if I left the dental office without making a follow-up appointment, I would never be back.

Speaker 43 It would be like an Andy Dufran situation you might see on the beach in 50 years, dude.

Speaker 8 Listen, as far as I'm concerned, dentists are scams.

Speaker 58 Yeah, really?

Speaker 90 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.

Speaker 59 It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 90 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 91 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Speaker 91 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 24 Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 62 Last two.

Speaker 26 Here we go.

Speaker 73 We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of hardest pills to swallow.

Speaker 35 Okay. There's a lot.

Speaker 8 Now, who goes first?

Speaker 26 Going to the dentist.

Speaker 8 Hank goes first. No, because if I was going to go first, I was going to take Hank's, which would have been Viagra.

Speaker 58 Mmm nice.

Speaker 26 Burn.

Speaker 72 My number one

Speaker 82 is taxes. Oh, okay.

Speaker 68 Getting your paycheck.

Speaker 72 Getting your paycheck and then looking at what you would have made without taxes.

Speaker 12 Yep.

Speaker 72 And just every time you're thinking, like, why don't I have more money?

Speaker 72 And just thinking about taxes and realizing that they never go away unless you don't pay them, but you should pay them because you get in trouble if you don't pay them.

Speaker 8 You should become a sovereign citizen if they don't include a picture of it.

Speaker 49 Yeah.

Speaker 8 If there's no American flag with yellow fringes on it in whatever room you're in, then that's not technically part of the United States. Yeah.
And you don't need to listen to the laws.

Speaker 30 That's a good pick.

Speaker 14 I had it as my number one as well.

Speaker 74 Taxes fucking suck.

Speaker 35 All right.

Speaker 24 My first pick will be

Speaker 30 getting old sucks, parentheses, especially hangovers.

Speaker 7 So hangovers getting worse and just the aging process is the worst.

Speaker 78 When you just start to lose everything.

Speaker 71 That's like a slow pill, though.

Speaker 4 You lose everything, though.

Speaker 88 But you lose it, but it's a tough pill to swallow when you can't do things that you used to do in your youthful exuberance.

Speaker 49 It just sucks.

Speaker 8 It becomes this place where it's like 10 o'clock at night and you've had six beers. Yeah.
And you just start thinking, fuck, I'm going to be hungover.

Speaker 8 And you start to feel the hangover before you get it.

Speaker 4 In your knees.

Speaker 37 Or like just even, it's just everything.

Speaker 39 Everything about drinking, hangovers, getting old, it just all sucks.

Speaker 8 It's a tough pill to swallow. You just stay drunk.
Yeah.

Speaker 89 That's one of the things I'm going to swallow.

Speaker 8 My first one, I'm going to go with just

Speaker 8 knowing that you'll eventually die. Nobody really swallows that pill ever.
Very few of us do. Fuck.

Speaker 8 Yeah, remember how fucked up it was when they taught Coco the gorilla about its kitten dying and they taught the gorilla what death was?

Speaker 35 No, I don't. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And then Robin Williams. Coco knew more loss than most people.
I'd rather be Harambe than Coco. Yeah.
Because Harambe had no idea what death was. He's just, oh, here's a kid.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 8 Now I'm floating through outer space.

Speaker 8 So yeah, realizing that you're going to die, just accepting that fact, that's a tough pill to swallow for everybody, I think. Yep.

Speaker 71 Harambe's still that.

Speaker 72 I mean, that's our honorable mention. Our sweet prince.

Speaker 80 Just him.

Speaker 72 Harambe not being here.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that is a tough pill.

Speaker 8 My second one is realizing that you're not going to be good enough at sports to make the major leagues. Shit.
I still remember when I realized.

Speaker 87 Or list Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 35 Oh, Hank.

Speaker 14 That's a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 8 I was like, you know what, PFT? You're a junior in college. You're probably not going to make the major leagues.

Speaker 35 Oh, that's what you were thinking, yeah.

Speaker 8 Because

Speaker 8 you haven't played baseball in six years.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 45 Okay, I'll go with,

Speaker 89 whoo.

Speaker 88 I'll go with something similar to your death one, PFT, but it's a little bit harder of a pill to swallow.

Speaker 77 In my opinion,

Speaker 56 all dogs die.

Speaker 8 Jesus, dude.

Speaker 78 Yeah, it's a hard pill to swallow.

Speaker 49 That's just a human death that you can deal with.

Speaker 72 And most dogs die while you're still alive.

Speaker 50 Right, that's what it is.

Speaker 10 The human death is, yes, it's obviously worse, but you don't deal with it in the amount that, like, if you live to 80, you're going to have probably eight dogs nine dogs and it just

Speaker 16 you can't boop them when they're gone nope so that one's a tough pill to swallow that your pets yeah i can't even say it it's messed up man i know i feel like rob gronkowski or something i mean that's the tough i literally just won it with the toughest pill to swallow i we could end this it's sad i'm just gonna feed leroy cbd fuck okay hank now thankfully this uh

Speaker 72 didn't happen anymore obviously i have a girlfriend now but realizing that the girl you have a crush on is never going to like you is a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 23 That is a big time tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 55 Big time, tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 66 Never happened to me.

Speaker 8 No, of course not. But I imagine that it would be tough.
It is.

Speaker 72 And then my second one or third one, I will go with realizing no matter how many times you grow your hair out, you're never going to have flow.

Speaker 82 Oh.

Speaker 82 Like I've always

Speaker 82 had a lot of people.

Speaker 57 I've always...

Speaker 35 Right.

Speaker 72 You can't relate. Bubba can't relate.
I've just had this, like, I love the idea of having flow. I've grown my hair out.

Speaker 72 I do it at least once a year, and and I'm like, I'm going to grow my hair out extra long, and it's just going to, it's going to look good.

Speaker 72 It never does, and then it just

Speaker 8 cut it. Do you have like a poof? Do you get a little affection?

Speaker 53 Yeah, I got to throw.

Speaker 8 So here's the thing:

Speaker 8 when you grow your hair out, it's like the six to ten month time range that it's going to look awful no matter what.

Speaker 72 My head's like a chia pet.

Speaker 71 It doesn't, like, I want what you got.

Speaker 72 I want public gossips where it's like, it comes down.

Speaker 35 You got hair, it just grows up.

Speaker 8 You got to straighten it, Hank. We got to get you a straightening iron.

Speaker 69 Yeah, we do.

Speaker 8 You'd look sick.

Speaker 26 You'd look like Billy Mitchell from King of Kong.

Speaker 15 You'll get you a jerry curl.

Speaker 14 Actually, you could have a jerry curl.

Speaker 8 I could curl this shit. I thought about getting a perm.

Speaker 55 You should do that. I'll get a perm.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 6 My next one, I'm going to say

Speaker 88 you're never going to win gambling.

Speaker 77 You're never going to win gambling.

Speaker 63 And just coming

Speaker 77 swallowing the pill of how much money you've lost gambling.

Speaker 34 That's a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 8 Well, that's an easy pill to avoid swallowing by just never looking.

Speaker 39 I understand, but

Speaker 60 just being like hey as much as i love this is never gonna work yeah never gonna work

Speaker 8 all right this is a bummer of a mouth it is this is a real breakdown okay uh mine the first player younger than you retires from sports that is a very tough pill andrew luck yeah andrew luck when he retired uh shaq Or no, Shaq's not younger than me, but

Speaker 8 Shaq was a guy.

Speaker 8 Shaq was a guy that I remembered his entire career.

Speaker 70 That was a tough one.

Speaker 8 But when a guy younger than you retires because of old age in major league sports, it's a tough pill to swallow for sure. And then my last one, I'm just going to go with

Speaker 8 accepting the fact that your star quarterback cheated repeatedly and that maybe his punishment was worthwhile.

Speaker 8 You might find yourself just panicking, not knowing what to do. You end up finding yourself in a reckless position.

Speaker 70 I think you need to name names.

Speaker 92 I think you need to name names if you're going to do it.

Speaker 8 No, I'm just saying, like, you find yourself getting arrested.

Speaker 82 the Bronx

Speaker 92 in prison.

Speaker 65 You need to name names if you're going to go this far.

Speaker 8 No, I think that people can put the pieces together who we're discussing here.

Speaker 72 Stand up for what you believe in. That's what I think.

Speaker 72 It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize that the league is against the best quarterback in the league and that there's just an unfair jealousy and hatred towards your crown jewel.

Speaker 14 It's fucked up.

Speaker 72 Once you realize that the corporations that we love aren't true and are very corrupt, that's a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 53 Woke Hank.

Speaker 12 Hank Wokewood.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 32 I'm going to do another depressed one for my last one.

Speaker 67 Your best friends will slowly fall out of your life.

Speaker 58 It's a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 25 But it is. At least you have your dog.

Speaker 53 And then you have to do checks where people just like.

Speaker 29 It's just one of those things, getting older, you just know, like you, I think probably, what would you say?

Speaker 25 20 is the peak of your amount of friends you've had you have because you still have maybe some high school friends and you got all your college friends.

Speaker 14 i'd say like 25 mid-20s you think so i feel like i feel like you've already lost some yeah i feel like you've already gone on the decline i think like that middle ground where maybe sophomore to just

Speaker 69 summer yeah you have like your

Speaker 8 peak amount of friends from that point on till the day you die you will lose like a friend a year and it's it's kind of cyclical though because every fall like i just got a bunch of friends back right last week because fantasy football the group tech started i'm like oh i have friends again right that's it sucks it sucks it's also also.

Speaker 72 And then that's almost a reminder of, like, damn, we're not even that close anymore. Or, like, I don't even talk to these kids except for once or twice a year.

Speaker 8 Right. Scheduling the draft when you're in your mid-30s and you can't because like three out of the group, they have like five kids.
Right. Aside activities that they have to go to.

Speaker 37 Aside one for this is

Speaker 65 like after you graduate college, you'll never live in the same city as like some of your best friends.

Speaker 25 That sucks.

Speaker 10 To come to that realization and just be like, okay.

Speaker 77 This is a bummer.

Speaker 88 Yeah, this is a bummer. This is a bummer.

Speaker 31 Hank, what's your last pick?

Speaker 72 My last pick is realizing that the summer's over and your next vacation is God knows how long away.

Speaker 5 Probably in a week for you?

Speaker 48 You actually, aren't you going?

Speaker 35 Well, there's a union, a shout-out.

Speaker 72 No, I'm not taking Friday off.

Speaker 35 Oh, damn. Labor home after Friday.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 12 Labor Day week.

Speaker 35 After Sunday. Yeah.

Speaker 16 But yeah, it's tough.

Speaker 58 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 72 It's like the summer. You know, you guys love the fall.
I love the summer. I do love the summer.
Realizing that the summer is not coming back anytime soon.

Speaker 55 I'm taking or leave it with the summer.

Speaker 8 I love the summer. I'm with you, Hank.

Speaker 14 All right, what do we miss? Fish oil.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's a tough one. Those pills for sure.

Speaker 63 They They do.

Speaker 69 And then they're like huge.

Speaker 8 You burp them later. Yeah.

Speaker 35 And then you have to

Speaker 35 fish.

Speaker 26 Personal one.

Speaker 7 Wisconsin will never win a national title in football or basketball.

Speaker 12 Yeah, fuck you.

Speaker 8 But you kind of accepted that, though.

Speaker 9 Well, I accepted it when Coach K paid off the refs at halftime.

Speaker 35 But that was the moment.

Speaker 10 That was the chance.

Speaker 18 It will never happen.

Speaker 8 A touchdown catch for your team that doesn't count. Like when they take it back after review.

Speaker 65 And then he breaks his leg and never gets to play again.

Speaker 8 That's also a tough one, yeah.

Speaker 56 Shout out Zach Miller.

Speaker 8 When there's no snow on the ground and you're in school and you were promised snow and you wake up and you open up the window and you just keep staring outside hoping that snow will just appear.

Speaker 72 Or when you, this is, I mean, this, thank God doesn't happen anymore.

Speaker 72 When you would go to your teacher and ask for your grade, and then you realize that the only way you're going to be eligible is if you get like 100 days in a row.

Speaker 35 Like, it's too late.

Speaker 72 You go to your teacher being like, all right, how can I salvage this semester?

Speaker 35 And they're like, well, you're fucked.

Speaker 83 You're already fucked.

Speaker 35 It's over.

Speaker 85 Pyramid schemes aren't real.

Speaker 48 Yep. Can't make you money.

Speaker 23 That's a tough pill to swallow.

Speaker 35 I've been involved in a couple.

Speaker 75 I haven't run them.

Speaker 52 But you've been a lower steer.

Speaker 8 I've recognized that I was in a pyramid scheme.

Speaker 70 Too late. Too late.

Speaker 8 That's actually a good one: is just acknowledging the fact that you are currently in a pyramid scheme. Right.
Because they do a good job of defending you against that.

Speaker 8 They're like, hey, your friends are going to tell you it's a pyramid scheme, but it's multi-level marketing. Yes.
It's different.

Speaker 14 A moment on your lips, forever on your hips, whatever you eat, especially as you get older.

Speaker 8 Your metabolism is just going to suck.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 26 I have one.

Speaker 8 That was a big time wine mom quote that big teacher.

Speaker 65 I have one PFT, and I'm not saying this to you.

Speaker 19 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 7 But I'm just going to say it. I personally don't, it's not a tough pill for me to swallow.

Speaker 17 Tall people run the world.

Speaker 8 Yes and no. Yes.
Short people take over the world.

Speaker 21 For moments.

Speaker 39 For moments. And then are infamous

Speaker 8 for the rest of history. But tall people.

Speaker 26 People run the world. Yeah, but they're day to day.

Speaker 8 But ironically, they have to be looking over their shoulder.

Speaker 5 Tall guy walks into a meeting, everyone's like, who is this guy?

Speaker 77 Yeah, being short. That's just a fact.

Speaker 8 Being on the shorter side of being perfectly average was a tough pill for me to smell because until I was 25, I was like, maybe I'll grow.

Speaker 26 Maybe if I drink a little more milk.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but you know what? For those of us that don't have to be tall, we have to do a little something called develop a personality.

Speaker 77 I'm just stating facts.

Speaker 35 Tall people run the world.

Speaker 7 The last one I had was no one actually likes dad bots.

Speaker 55 That's such a fucking myth.

Speaker 34 And to be like, have the glimmer of hope.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 9 You know,

Speaker 7 whatever year it was when

Speaker 65 Jason Siegel and Seth Rogan had like their big hits, and everyone's like, ooh, the Summer of Chomp.

Speaker 7 These guys,

Speaker 47 they're funny, but no, that's not real.

Speaker 8 The Sopranos ending. That was a tough bill to swallow where it just cuts to black and you don't know what happened.
You're like, wait, is my TV broken?

Speaker 8 Everybody was like pounding the side, unplugging, replugging. It just cut to black.

Speaker 3 Yep, that's a big one.

Speaker 7 Also, you'll never have a six-pack.

Speaker 84 Yep. That's just not that.

Speaker 85 Like, once you realize that point, you're like, that's never happened.

Speaker 8 But it's liberating once you recognize it. Yeah.
Because now I'm just like, fuck it. You know what? If I can just get into decent shape, then I'm fine with that.
I'm never going to have that six-pack.

Speaker 24 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 43 Also, one really depressing one.

Speaker 80 Climate change is real and the earth is basically going to fry in the next hundred years.

Speaker 53 Yeah, or less. Probably.

Speaker 52 For sure going to happen.

Speaker 8 Finding out that you're addicted to Jewel. Like, seriously hard to get it.
But then breaking the addiction is an awesome pill to swallow.

Speaker 8 I did not swallow the pill of knowing that I was addicted for a long time. I was like, I can quit everything.

Speaker 35 Everyone else around you did.

Speaker 8 Everyone else was like, get these fucking things away from him. He's going to fry us.

Speaker 10 He's just doing it as a joke.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it was ironic. So that was what I couched in, but that's a tough one to swallow because there's nothing cool about being addicted to Jewel.
Yeah.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 44 We'll put it up there.

Speaker 8 Oh, your candidate lost the election.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 48 What are you pointing me?

Speaker 8 No, just yeah, everyone. Just in general.

Speaker 35 I am a Bernie bro.

Speaker 8 One's candidate lost the election.

Speaker 14 Yes, that does.

Speaker 79 That is a tough.

Speaker 74 That's a four-year pill to swallow.

Speaker 58 You just keep swallowing it. Yep.

Speaker 26 Over and over and over and over.

Speaker 13 Okay, before we get to our interview with Luke Wilson, we're going to actually throw on a little extra Luke Wilson from his Super Bowl story, the Malcolm Butler game, all-time story that he told.

Speaker 56 We're going to put that at the end.

Speaker 14 We talked to him two years ago, so if you missed that, make sure you listen to that.

Speaker 22 A quick word from our friends at NHTSA.

Speaker 83 Drive sober or get pulled over.

Speaker 13 That's what we're saying right now.

Speaker 3 That's what NHTSA is saying because guess what?

Speaker 33 If you feel different, you drive different. If you drive high, you get a DUI.

Speaker 1 We are practicing safe driving.

Speaker 3 It's the end of summer.

Speaker 13 It's the holiday season.

Speaker 33 You cannot get behind a car, a wheel, if you are drunk. You knew the risks of driving drunk.
There could be a crash.

Speaker 19 People could get hurt or killed.

Speaker 33 You could get arrested, incur huge legal expenses, and possibly even lose your job. You knew the consequences of driving drunk, and you were wrong when you said it was no big deal.

Speaker 46 So you need to drive sober or get pulled over.

Speaker 31 I'm going to go off script for a second here, guys.

Speaker 26 Just straight up, if you get behind the wheel of a car and you are drunk or you are high or you're riding a motorcycle and you are drunk or you're high, you're an asshole.

Speaker 8 So, don't do it.

Speaker 3 You not only will you get arrested because you'll get cracked down by a cop or you will hurt someone, hurt yourself. It's just not worth it.

Speaker 7 There's a ton of different ways to get home safely these days.

Speaker 24 It's not 40 years ago where you can't get a cab.

Speaker 7 You have ways.

Speaker 61 You have no excuse.

Speaker 83 Drive sober or get pulled over.

Speaker 43 I'm saying it again: drive sober or get pulled over because NHTSA is out there and we are making sure that people drive home safely and make sure they get home safely.

Speaker 29 You're putting everyone at risk when you get behind the wheel of a car drunk or high because that's the other thing.

Speaker 29 People don't realize if you're feeling a little different, a DUI covers more than just alcohol.

Speaker 24 Drugs that make you feel different will make you drive different and you could get a DUI from that as well. Always remember if you feel different, you drive different.

Speaker 3 Never drive high.

Speaker 10 Drive high, get a DUI.

Speaker 83 Drive sober or get pulled over.

Speaker 7 So do that. Practice safe driving this holiday weekend coming up or else you're also banned from this podcast.

Speaker 8 We're going to say it.

Speaker 29 If you get a DUI.

Speaker 33 You're banned from this podcast.

Speaker 17 So there it is.

Speaker 8 Thank you for this.

Speaker 77 You're no longer welcome.

Speaker 26 You're no longer welcome.

Speaker 11 Okay, here he is.

Speaker 20 Oakland Raiders tight end and hard knock superstar Luke Wilson.

Speaker 21 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend recurring guest.

Speaker 92 Actually,

Speaker 19 yes, no, not.

Speaker 8 I don't count him as a recurring guest because he's been on Barcelona Radio, and I've personally ran into him at every single Super Bowl party I've ever been to.

Speaker 58 Right, and we're going to play the story for anyone who didn't hear it at the end of this interview, the all-time story that Luke Wilson told about the famous Seahawks Super Bowl where Malcolm Butler intercepted the pass the last play of the game.

Speaker 35 So it is Luke Wilson, Oakland Raider, Luke Wilson.

Speaker 20 Good to have you on, Luke. Let's get right into it.

Speaker 3 Hard knocks, how weird is that having a camera in your face all the time?

Speaker 81 Yeah, it's a bit bizarre. Like, first few days, whatever, there's cameras around.

Speaker 81 But it's almost like having Big Brother everywhere. And you can say, like, all you want, like, dude, I'm mic'd up, and this guy's mic'd up.

Speaker 81 But when you're kind of in that heat of a backness, it's just like hanging, you forget, like,

Speaker 81 that there's a camera

Speaker 81 always kind of watching. Like, there's been numerous times where even today, I'm like chilling and I'm talking to some

Speaker 81 that I probably don't want recorded. And it's like I can see the guy from down the field, like zoomed in.
And there's a dude behind us with the damn boom mics.

Speaker 81 I'm like, man, these fucking guys, they're like silent, but they're like ninjas, man. They get everything.

Speaker 70 Yeah. Are you on hard knocks right now?

Speaker 8 Is there a camera on you?

Speaker 81 No, I am not on hard knocks right now. I am not.
I'm in the comfort of my apartment.

Speaker 70 Shit, can we actually?

Speaker 81 I don't think there's a camera.

Speaker 8 Let's redo that. And you say, yeah, they're taping me.
I'm not sure if they're going to use it next week or not. That way everyone will tune in to see if.
Hey, Luke, are you on Hard Knocks right now?

Speaker 8 Is there a camera on you?

Speaker 81 Yeah, right now. There's a camera and a boom mic.

Speaker 8 Oh, shit. I wonder if we're going to make it.

Speaker 49 That'd be awesome, wouldn't it?

Speaker 56 This will be cool if we're on Hard Knocks next week.

Speaker 76 So,

Speaker 9 you also famously had the review of the Golden Gate Bridge, which was an all-time review.

Speaker 20 Pretty cool fucking bridge.

Speaker 52 Did you get drug tested after that review?

Speaker 81 I didn't, man.

Speaker 81 I'm feeling clear with the drug tests right now.

Speaker 93 Okay, so

Speaker 81 we've had our annual already, though. So maybe that was after.
So maybe

Speaker 81 I'm clear for a year when it comes to anything.

Speaker 13 I like it. Not a PED.

Speaker 8 Do you have a power ranking of your top three bridges?

Speaker 81 I would have to say Golden Gate Bridge is up there.

Speaker 81 I'm going to put the Ambassador Bridge at number two.

Speaker 81 Only reason is because I don't know the name of a third bridge.

Speaker 66 Okay.

Speaker 8 Chesapeake Bay.

Speaker 25 Verzano.

Speaker 23 It's happened to me. I've never seen it.

Speaker 33 George Washington Bridge.

Speaker 81 Don't even know where that is.

Speaker 8 Bridge Over Troubled Water.

Speaker 49 Teddy Bridgewater.

Speaker 47 Oh, what about the Oakland Bay Bridge or whatever?

Speaker 68 That's one. It's called the Bay Bridge.

Speaker 81 Yeah, never mind. I see that every day.
We'll put that at number three.

Speaker 66 Okay. Okay, good.

Speaker 50 It's very literal top three of bridges.

Speaker 10 It's actually the top three bridges you have physically seen yourself.

Speaker 57 Yes, correct.

Speaker 8 So we've obviously been watching hard knocks. I always wonder if the players that are on it, if you guys sit down and watch the show too.

Speaker 89 I haven't.

Speaker 81 I was a little upset after the first episode.

Speaker 81 And so I kind of have my own little private boycott of Hard Knocks. I've checked out a couple of clips.
They put some stuff on Instagram. Coach My Boy has been blowing it up.
But

Speaker 81 you just don't know what they're going to put on and what they're not.

Speaker 81 I was really pushing. I've said a lot of real fucked up shit and thrown a lot of people under the bus, but apparently it's too offside and they say it won't make the show.

Speaker 81 Then it's like the first episode, they tell me,

Speaker 81 they're like, yo, you're not in it. And then I got it.
Believe it or not, Big Cat, you were the first guy to text me and be like, dude, I love that. I'm like, what is he talking about?

Speaker 81 So I went and watched it and all my boys are like, man, you got fucked up on that play. Yes.
I'm like, dude, this shit wasn't even me. And I wasn't even talking to Abram on that.
I was talking to

Speaker 81 Klee, I want to say. And it was a totally different play, but it's like, they fabricate the shit.
Now I got all the Twitter trolls

Speaker 35 to me.

Speaker 25 They dash it up.

Speaker 8 They took your audio from a different play and put it in on the play that Abram lit you up.

Speaker 81 So here's the thing. If you watch Abram, that's not even me getting lit up by Abram.
That's a wide receiver.

Speaker 68 Okay.

Speaker 81 So they took a wide receiver getting lit up by Abram, made it like a small clip,

Speaker 81 and then zoomed into me talking about, I think it was Klee

Speaker 81 on a completely different play. And people are like grilling me, like, dude, you got ran over by a safety.
I'm like, what is everybody talking about? And then I watched.

Speaker 81 I'm like, Jesus, man, what the fuck?

Speaker 40 They're doing deep fake.

Speaker 35 Damn.

Speaker 63 Damn. That's tough.

Speaker 84 Well, it's good that you came on because we can now clear it up that that was not what happened.

Speaker 20 So you're having a personal boycott.

Speaker 10 We watch every show religiously.

Speaker 7 And I guess the big question is: is John Gruden like that all the time?

Speaker 17 And by like that, I mean totally fucking awesome?

Speaker 81 Yeah, he's

Speaker 81 it's a lot of fun around here in that sense.

Speaker 94 And

Speaker 81 I mean, he's funny, man.

Speaker 81 Again, I haven't seen all the clips that he's got on there, but in the meeting room, he says some stuff that is just fucking hilarious. And

Speaker 81 I know they can't put it on there because

Speaker 81 for various reasons, but he is, if it's what I think is being shown, he's definitely like that all the time.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Does he always kind of have one eye cocked?

Speaker 89 Yes.

Speaker 81 Yes, he kind of does. He really kind of does.

Speaker 17 I fucking love him.

Speaker 57 I love him.

Speaker 8 How early in camp did he install Spider 2 Y Banana?

Speaker 81 About the first day, and we've ran it probably

Speaker 81 900 times. He fucking loves it.

Speaker 51 So perfect.

Speaker 37 How's your helmet fitting these days?

Speaker 8 Good question.

Speaker 81 My helmet fits great. Thanks for asking.
Sure, sure.

Speaker 49 Just wanted to make sure.

Speaker 18 You never know.

Speaker 13 You never know these days.

Speaker 52 It's good that you've got a...

Speaker 8 Sometimes, you know if i take a hit i'll have to tighten the chin strap back up other than that my helmet's really thriving i i did wonder about that though like how much of a pain in the ass is it as a receiver of sorts like that you have to change a helmet does that really mess up your field of vision or do you kind of adapt to it pretty quickly

Speaker 28 um

Speaker 81 i think everybody's different um for me I've gone through

Speaker 81 a variety of helmets since college. I say variety, probably like three or four.
And to be honest with you, I haven't noticed a difference visually at all. But

Speaker 81 again, that personal preference there, I'm not a, as long as it kind of feels good in my head, I really don't give a shit after that. But

Speaker 81 everybody, I've heard from a variety of people, not just the obvious, that it's a big ordeal when you switch helmets, but that's just kind of never been me.

Speaker 67 What's it like to be around greatness in Nathan Peterman?

Speaker 81 First off, dude, this guy is

Speaker 81 the I don't I was going to actually call him a goat, but I don't know if I want to go that far.

Speaker 28 He's a good dude, man.

Speaker 68 He's a good dude.

Speaker 81 He's a lot of fun. And, I mean, you guys have seen the games.
He's played very well. He looks good in practice.
He's athletic.

Speaker 81 Again, I don't know what the hell happened in Buffalo. I know that everybody kind of likes to make jokes about him on social media.
But I think that

Speaker 81 Nathan Peterman, whether it's here or somewhere else this year, if he gets in, I think he's a rejuvenated, reinvented QB, man. This guy,

Speaker 81 I've been very impressed by Nate so far.

Speaker 8 I've heard he's got great command of the huddle. That's what Gruden loved about him coming out of college.
He could get the play in and call it crisply.

Speaker 81 To be honest with you, I feel like if you're a quarterback in the NFL and you don't have great command of the huddle, that's a major issue.

Speaker 35 Yeah, that's some good scouting.

Speaker 81 I mean, I'm not saying Gruden's wrong, but it's like, dude, I would hope so. You know what I mean?

Speaker 8 He's the goat. He's the goodest of all time.

Speaker 20 Has Nate ever

Speaker 67 said anything to you like, hey, man, I know it's the elephant in the room, but yeah, I threw five picks in the first half of that game.

Speaker 81 Dude,

Speaker 81 he's never mentioned it. In fact, I don't even know if we've spoken about Buffalo, really.

Speaker 57 Okay, all right.

Speaker 69 Well, that's good.

Speaker 35 He's a new man.

Speaker 24 Yeah, that's a totally fresh start.

Speaker 42 You always got to know, like, if he, if it's something he brings up, like, hey, I'm Nate.

Speaker 55 And yeah, okay, I know you're thinking it, but that's good that he's moved on.

Speaker 81 I would say so. He's had a couple great preseason

Speaker 93 rolling right now. Yes.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 83 Mr.

Speaker 20 Fourth quarter against the

Speaker 67 against the Packers up in Canada.

Speaker 10 By the way, how great was that?

Speaker 83 Did you get a hero's welcome going back up to Canada?

Speaker 81 I didn't. I did not.
I was really expecting one, but I did not get a hero's welcome. I was really let down, and then I played like fucking trash.

Speaker 81 So it was just a, it was a combination of just a lot of negative things that happened. We were on an 80-yard field.
Right. It was, uh,

Speaker 81 it was a, yeah, it was a shit show. It was a shit show, to say the least.

Speaker 8 You can spin zone that, though. You can be like, I'm a tight end.
All I do is catch touchdowns. I do my work inside the 10-yard line.
And they took that completely off the board.

Speaker 8 You had to play with the end zone starting at the 10. Was that weird when you got out on the field and you're like, yeah, this is very strange?

Speaker 81 Yeah, and what was more strange was

Speaker 81 you get this dilemma. We had happened to us, I think, in the third or the early fourth, where it's like the ball's on the 40,

Speaker 81 so it's a 57-yard field goal, or you scroll your punter out there, but we need him to pooch one less than 30 yards. Yeah.

Speaker 89 So

Speaker 81 not really a punter's thing.

Speaker 81 So I made the suggestion, not to our specialist coach, to a few of the guys in the sideline, that we should, if we get back in that situation, we should just have one of us punt it.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you know, one of those because it's like, if I were to max out my punting, like it probably would be somewhere between 25 to 30 yards.

Speaker 8 Right, you wouldn't even have to take anything off it. You could be the new slash, the new Cordell Stewart.

Speaker 81 Yes, that was what I said. It's like this guy's not going to punt one 30 yards.
He'd have to, like, I don't know. I mean, I'm not a punter, but I'm assuming that he would have to like shank it.

Speaker 81 And I don't know if you can control your shanks.

Speaker 70 Kick it left-footed.

Speaker 81 Kick the field ball at 57 yards.

Speaker 17 Yeah, huh.

Speaker 8 Do you think it was cultural appropriation that Aaron Rodgers wore the Canadian tuxedo when he went up there for the game?

Speaker 76 Yeah, and the guy wore the shirt that had like the wrong, was it the wrong province or something?

Speaker 40 The wrong province, yeah.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you want to hear something all messed up?

Speaker 81 That's our rookie punter, AJ. And I saw that early on, and I'm like, oh, wow, dude.
This guy's got no idea what he's wearing. And I didn't say shit to him.

Speaker 81 I just let him, I just absolutely sewered him. And I'm like, as soon as somebody sees this, it's going to, you know, I didn't know how big of a splash it would make.

Speaker 81 But I went on Twitter later when we got to Winnipeg and I saw he was trending. And I'm like, dude, this is exactly why I didn't say shit.

Speaker 68 Yes.

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 81 I mean, it's fucked up, but I did. I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 57 So, yeah.

Speaker 8 When it comes to Aaron Rodgers, were you offended by that?

Speaker 81 No, I was offended. I was the opposite.
I was like, wow, what a legend.

Speaker 19 He looks awesome.

Speaker 40 Yeah, because we're a pro-Packers podcast now.

Speaker 8 I don't know if if you know that.

Speaker 17 Or a pro Raiders podcast.

Speaker 81 What a, I mean, what a,

Speaker 81 the guy should have. I think he had a bolo tie on as well.

Speaker 73 Yeah, he's a tryhard.

Speaker 35 We all know.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 68 See you with a bolo.

Speaker 66 Yeah, he looked great.

Speaker 49 He's a try-hard.

Speaker 52 He's a try-hard. He looked really good.

Speaker 60 All right, I got the seeki.

Speaker 62 I got the seeki question. It's my last question.

Speaker 13 Put in promo code take.

Speaker 33 You get $10 off.

Speaker 36 Luke, I'm going to bring up something that's maybe a little touchy, but I have to do it, okay?

Speaker 23 Because we have to talk about this.

Speaker 29 We got a game plan.

Speaker 58 If you were to get cut on hard knocks, what is our game plan?

Speaker 61 The way I see it, we have two options.

Speaker 83 One, I would love to see someone just never show back up to the facility.

Speaker 14 So they call you and you just don't show back up.

Speaker 44 That probably wouldn't be good for your future.

Speaker 22 So maybe we'll table that.

Speaker 59 Two,

Speaker 3 what if we sent you a bunch of pardon my take stuff and you got cut with a pardon my take shirt on?

Speaker 35 That would be legendary.

Speaker 81 Ship it, man.

Speaker 82 Okay. Ship it.

Speaker 16 Done.

Speaker 81 Right now, and I'll stroll in there. I've actually, in case that does happen, I do have a bit of a plan.
Okay.

Speaker 81 I really don't want to be like the veteran white guy that they're going to make some like sob story around. Like, oh, man, he got cut.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 81 So I can't really tell the plan yet because I haven't finalized it. But I've really got to, like...

Speaker 81 Me and Hardnox kind of have a battle going right now, and I think I got to get the last laugh with this one. Like, if they're expecting some tears and a lot of sadness,

Speaker 81 I'm just not going to fucking give it to them, man.

Speaker 10 Or do it or here's what you really do because you're saying this right now you go over the top tears and sadness but it's all a joke because we're talking about it right now so it's clearly you acting so anyone who's like oh my god luke wilson we can then go back over the top and be like you idiot he planned this whole thing

Speaker 81 Yeah, we could definitely do that, but I think I need to pardon my take here because I will

Speaker 81 sadly wear that in there.

Speaker 8 Yes, we'll get that to you. Another move you could do is just when you sit down, don't let them have the satisfaction of cutting you from the team.

Speaker 8 Heaven forbid, if this is what it comes to, you sit down and you just say, hey, I just want to let you know I quit.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 8 So you quit before they cut you.

Speaker 20 And then pull out a copy of Art of the Deal and right in their face.

Speaker 81 Could you imagine? They give me the call. Hey, man, it comes with your iPad and your charger.
And I scroll and say, hey, I'm back because I quit.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, just a heads up.

Speaker 29 I didn't really want to play on this football team anyway.

Speaker 8 Yeah, right before Mayok opens his mouth, you'd be like, hey, before you say anything, I'm out. I just want to let you know that

Speaker 8 it's not you, it's me. See ya.

Speaker 89 With my

Speaker 81 PFT.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 23 Perfect.

Speaker 83 So, so, all right, so obviously we're hoping this doesn't happen.

Speaker 13 I don't think it will happen.

Speaker 55 No, I think you can make the team.

Speaker 37 Your hair is awesome.

Speaker 54 You're an awesome guy.

Speaker 84 So it's like every team needs a glue guy and someone who's going to

Speaker 33 work on the punt team.

Speaker 10 But we will have this just in case where you just sob on national television in a pardon my take shirt.

Speaker 35 Maybe a Larry shirt.

Speaker 81 I love it. I love it, guys.
I'm in.

Speaker 8 One last question for you. Did you get to meet Guy Fieri?

Speaker 81 No, where was he at?

Speaker 8 He was at practice.

Speaker 66 See, this is why

Speaker 8 you need to watch Hard Knocks because he was watching practice. I think it was week one, right? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Really? Yeah, he was there. And then I think Gruden went over and brought him back and met some of the

Speaker 8 players' wives and stuff. You weren't there for that?

Speaker 81 That one flew over my head.

Speaker 81 I was pretty fired up about Frank Caliendo.

Speaker 84 Yeah, how was that?

Speaker 8 How was his Gruden Impression Live?

Speaker 81 Honestly,

Speaker 81 it's hilarious, man. I mean, they didn't show all of it, but then at the end, Gruden was literally just naming guys, like people that we all know.
Hey, dude, Stephen A. Smith.
Hey, do this.

Speaker 81 Hey, do this guy.

Speaker 81 It was like everyone was just insanely spot on.

Speaker 8 Wait a second, Louis. I thought you didn't watch the show.

Speaker 52 How do you know if they did?

Speaker 8 How do you know if they didn't?

Speaker 10 He didn't, because he just said something they didn't show, but they did show.

Speaker 81 They did show that. Yes.

Speaker 69 How do you know?

Speaker 12 No, he said they didn't show it.

Speaker 8 I'm confused now.

Speaker 36 He's assuming they didn't show it.

Speaker 81 I did assume they didn't show it, but you're saying they did show all that.

Speaker 53 Yes, they did show all that.

Speaker 81 How was that okay, dude? I made a couple, I've made a couple false stories and narratives going on that they claim is too outside and all this stuff is okay. Yeah.

Speaker 69 I love that you're trying to like intentionally dupe HBO cameras and they're just sitting there like, God, they probably, like, all these HBO guys are sitting in the cutting room floor and be like, all right, what did Luke Wilson try to trick us with this week?

Speaker 47 He thinks he's smarter than us.

Speaker 70 Oh, you know what you should do?

Speaker 81 They tried to claim a rookie had an STD yesterday, and then he talked through it all through camp.

Speaker 81 And I actually got a text from one of the HBO people. They're like, dude, we're all in the studio right now, dying at your jokespoke chlamydia.

Speaker 68 But

Speaker 81 apparently, that's not going to make it. Damn,

Speaker 81 that just went up good. It was somewhat believable.

Speaker 26 I mean,

Speaker 8 if you do have to get that call from Mike Mayock and you sit down with him, you could say, I don't know if you're aware of this, Coach, but the scene that they showed me getting lit up on in practice, that wasn't actually me.

Speaker 8 That's true. That might have been the play that put them over the top on it.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you know, it came down. It was like, hey, man, we really want Luke here, but he got lit up on HBO Hard Knock, right?

Speaker 69 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 26 All right, Luke.

Speaker 64 Well, thank you very much.

Speaker 10 We appreciate it. We'll send you that stuff.

Speaker 84 Best of luck. You're not going to get clear.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I hope you don't have to wear it.

Speaker 76 You'll just get some free shirts.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you know what? I mean, either way,

Speaker 81 I got a feeling I'll probably be on again. So

Speaker 81 the t-shirt will definitely make its way onto the show.

Speaker 57 I love it.

Speaker 37 All right, Luke. We'll talk to you later, man.
Thanks so much.

Speaker 89 All right.

Speaker 81 Appreciate it, guys. Thanks, guys.

Speaker 52 See you, man. Good luck.

Speaker 64 We got to bring up.

Speaker 35 You don't want to bring up.

Speaker 68 You don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 35 But yeah, the play.

Speaker 95 I knew it was coming. Like, I prepared myself.

Speaker 35 You didn't prepare for the Russell Wilson.

Speaker 66 It was how hated that was coming.

Speaker 44 Because we're going to get to that. But

Speaker 16 the play.

Speaker 95 The play.

Speaker 66 Were you on the play? What do you want? I was.

Speaker 64 I was. Did you at any point be like, wait, what was the play?

Speaker 35 Let's do the other play with Marshawk.

Speaker 49 Okay.

Speaker 28 Because that would have been a smart move by you.

Speaker 35 Or down there.

Speaker 95 Cursed who makes the great, like, unbelievable catch.

Speaker 50 Which was an absurd. That was the one where

Speaker 66 I was watching at home alone, and I was like,

Speaker 95 that's the helmet catch.

Speaker 82 It's fucking

Speaker 35 again.

Speaker 12 I can't believe it. It's funny to say that.

Speaker 95 But I'm jogging,

Speaker 95 jogging along, going to the huddle. I'm like, wow, that's the David Tyree catch right there.

Speaker 93 Tyree, yeah, Ruben Randall.

Speaker 40 And I'm like, what a win.

Speaker 95 And I'm like, okay, let's finish the shit off. Like, let's go.
So we call 19 Forces to play.

Speaker 95 And I'm like, off.

Speaker 95 Look, 19 Force kind of of like relies on the tight end so I'm like damn like I don't want to be that guy who fucks shit up I better make this block so I'm like okay dude hopefully the linebacker like walks on the ball because I don't really feel like blocking a DN So we get out there and like last second linebacker gets on the ball.

Speaker 95 I do a decent job and I'm like all right we'll be good like Marshawn, which is another thing that people don't talk about he just gets like clipped on the like the right angle to play before and he lands like the half.

Speaker 95 At first because I was like, oh, there's a TD and I don't know who made the tackle, but it was a high tower.

Speaker 95 It was not like a clean, like, oh, I just laid him out. Marshawn doesn't get laid out.

Speaker 12 It was like clip his foot.

Speaker 95 Marshawn went down.

Speaker 93 And I remember thinking to myself, like, oh, this is great, dude.

Speaker 84 We just gave Tom Brady less time. Yeah, more time off the clock.

Speaker 95 I'm like, we're on the half-yard line.

Speaker 26 Oh, man.

Speaker 66 This is unbelievable. This is heartbreaking to hear.

Speaker 69 Yeah, this is tough.

Speaker 95 So here I am in the huddle. And just to get a little sentimental, I'm like, you know what? And I'm not a guy.

Speaker 35 I'm actually.

Speaker 45 You gave a pep talk?

Speaker 64 I'm a guy who's, like, pretty focused.

Speaker 95 Okay. At this point, I'm like, oh, we've won this shit, bro.

Speaker 5 This shit's over.

Speaker 35 No.

Speaker 35 I'm like,

Speaker 95 not many people know this, but during the Super Bowl, if you win, you can get two people to come down the field.

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 95 So the year before, I had my mom and dad, dude.

Speaker 93 It was great.

Speaker 95 So I'm like, I bet my mom and dad are walking. I remember thinking this, I bet my mom and dad are walking down right now.

Speaker 35 You didn't say that, though. In my head.
Okay. In your head, you said that.

Speaker 8 And then the next thought is, the next thought is,

Speaker 95 okay, dude, just make sure you don't go. Don't fall start.
I mean, we've won the Super Bowl, bro. The game's over.
Like, let's fucking go.

Speaker 95 We get in the huddle, and I'm like, all right, we're going to call, I legitimately thought, I'm like, we're going to call 94 Buck.

Speaker 95 And 94 Buck, I don't want to get an X's and O's, but it's basically a zone read. Your traditional college zone read.

Speaker 81 Right.

Speaker 95 And we ran a million times in the goal line.

Speaker 16 A little RPO action.

Speaker 95 What's RPO?

Speaker 35 Run pass option. Oh, yes.

Speaker 95 Yes. No passes.
I don't want to get two's and o'.

Speaker 35 Yes, you got me.

Speaker 68 Okay. You got me on there.

Speaker 95 But it's like... So we go, and I'm in the huddle, and he calls the formation.

Speaker 93 I'm like, damn, we don't have a 94 buck out of that.

Speaker 95 We're definitely running 94 buck.

Speaker 95 And then we motioned. So I'm like, oh, we have 94 buck out of.

Speaker 95 No, we don't have 94 buck out of this. I'm like, what is this play?

Speaker 95 And then we called a pass, and I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 59 I'm finna fucking catch the game when it's Super Bowl.

Speaker 28 Let's go.

Speaker 28 Let's go.

Speaker 28 How many thoughts did you have? A lot, dude. You got to get a lot.

Speaker 93 And

Speaker 95 I got up to the line, and I was like, so there's a zone side and a man side. Right.

Speaker 95 And I was on the zone side.

Speaker 95 So I'm like, come on, run zone, run zone, run zone. And I'm getting this ball.
They're running man coverage.

Speaker 93 And I was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 95 I'm not getting this shit.

Speaker 87 Well, we'll be all right.

Speaker 95 Like, we've ran this play a bunch of times.

Speaker 95 And then I ran it, and I had a corner on the backside, so I didn't see it.

Speaker 18 But I heard everybody yelling.

Speaker 8 And as weird as it sounds,

Speaker 95 I could like hear guys celebrating that weren't my teammates.

Speaker 93 And I turned around and I was like, like, man.

Speaker 95 And it was probably the worst moment of my life.

Speaker 40 I believe it. What could be worse than that?

Speaker 67 Having an amazing victory in your hands in the locker room afterwards.

Speaker 93 Betting on the Seahawks. But at the time, it was the worst moment of my life.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 35 It sucked.

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Speaker 10 Hey, what's going on there, pal?

Speaker 8 We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys?

Speaker 95 I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me.

Speaker 87 Not a big deal.

Speaker 73 Pink Whitney?

Speaker 8 That's what I thought.

Speaker 86 See you, fellas.

Speaker 83 I invented the thing, you pigeon.

Speaker 46 Pink Whitney for legendary moments.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments.

Speaker 26 First up, we have an oh, you think with Rob Gronkowski.

Speaker 13 So Rob Gronkowski, retired

Speaker 3 tight end future Hall of Famer, Famer, is now repping a CBD company.

Speaker 8 You think?

Speaker 58 No, Doy.

Speaker 7 This was, I mean, it was either this or Monster Energy.

Speaker 36 Why not both, actually?

Speaker 8 You know how, like, the Mighty Mighty Boston.

Speaker 26 He had a dancing guy.

Speaker 8 Okay, he could have just been the dancing guy for Imagine Dragons on stage. That would have been a perfect fit for him.

Speaker 35 Hey, remember

Speaker 71 Left Dolphin?

Speaker 8 Left Shark. Left Shark, sorry.

Speaker 49 Yeah.

Speaker 52 Just put Rob in the...

Speaker 35 That guy was electric.

Speaker 8 Jay-Z, I know you're a listener. Put Gronk in the Super Bowl halftime show.

Speaker 14 No, he's not a listener.

Speaker 78 He listens to Matthew Berry's Berry's podcast.

Speaker 8 Okay, that's right. Yeah.
Matthew Berry, you're a listener. Yeah.
You tell Jay-Z.

Speaker 49 Text him because you have his number.

Speaker 26 Text Jay-Z.

Speaker 12 You tell people that.

Speaker 8 And let him know that he needs to be in the halftime show. Yeah, it's an obvious kind of transition for Gronk to go from being a tight end into launching a line of CBD products.

Speaker 8 Like, this is, I remember I gave you the idea a couple years ago for Brotein.

Speaker 8 Gronk could be the first product ambassador for Brotein, and what that would be would be basically an alcoholic energy drink that also has CBD and protein in it.

Speaker 8 So basically it's like kombucha for bros.

Speaker 66 Yeah. Kombuch.
Sorry.

Speaker 49 Just a little bit of vodka.

Speaker 8 Obviously, I left that part out.

Speaker 66 Maybe green alcohol.

Speaker 8 So it's like 8% alcohol. Yeah.
It's got enough, like a monster energy level. He's probably experimented with this concoction on his own.
Maybe a little nicotine. Yeah.
Maybe a little nicotine.

Speaker 8 Just a little buzz. It's more like it's soylent for bros.
It's an entire day's worth of every single nutrient, stimulant, and depressant that you need all concocted into one little thing.

Speaker 10 And it's actually not even a drink.

Speaker 55 It's just an IV.

Speaker 8 Yeah, just shoot it up. You mainline it.

Speaker 24 See, you just walk around with a big bag.

Speaker 8 You can freebase it too.

Speaker 16 Yeah, you do it. Yeah.

Speaker 8 My only concern for Gronk is that with CBD, it's anti-inflammatory. Yeah.
So it's harder to get swole. So Gronk is going to, maybe the pythons are going to get a little bit lighter.

Speaker 3 He was actually talking about the injuries he went through.

Speaker 35 And

Speaker 24 this actually goes back to the Andrew Luck stuff where...

Speaker 54 Andrew Luck's press conference was emotional and all that, but he, I wish he had just said, yo,

Speaker 47 I won't be able to lift my arm in three years.

Speaker 60 because gronk essentially said he said that he was crying after a super bowl win because he was in so much pain he had so much fluid in his thigh he was pissing blood which not to call a man card but gronk you that's really not a big deal a lot of people everyone does it but seriously it it to hear him say it to hear gronk say it the guy who is full of life a big labrador loves football all these things and be like yeah i was in so much pain that i was crying after i won a super bowl is a little sobering yeah they said that they drained drained a liter of blood out of his leg, and the hit that he took didn't look that bad.

Speaker 8 I mean, it looked like it was kind of like a Charlie horse. But yeah, he said that he couldn't sleep for a couple days after the game.

Speaker 8 Maybe he was just too hyped.

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 72 He looked like he was having a good time after this.

Speaker 65 He also left it very wide open to come back because he said physically he could do it, but mentally he doesn't know if he can do it.

Speaker 15 But maybe he'll fall back in love with football.

Speaker 35 He'll be back.

Speaker 8 Have you seen the Patriots tight ends?

Speaker 26 Yeah. He'll be back.

Speaker 65 I would say he probably will be back because he'll do the thing where he can basically play the important games in December and January and have fun and not have to deal with all the bullshit.

Speaker 18 He's also a workout freak where

Speaker 72 it's not like Chris Long, like Chris Long stops. Oh, stop.
No, this is not.

Speaker 70 Chris Long doesn't smoke CBD.

Speaker 49 No,

Speaker 66 his nose is looking kind of skinny.

Speaker 72 Exactly. I'm saying when Chris Long retired, all of a sudden his body changed and he could not come back tomorrow and play defensive line.
Damn.

Speaker 12 Gronk, because of verse puberty.

Speaker 72 Always working out. Like, he's still working out.

Speaker 35 He looks skinny, though. Yeah.

Speaker 80 But he's still in shape.

Speaker 72 Like, when he wants to come back, he'll be ready for a comeback.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he strikes me as a guy that he puts in.

Speaker 80 He's not a shot at Chris Leviticus.

Speaker 53 Two weeks and

Speaker 59 a big-time shot at Chris Leonardo.

Speaker 8 Two weeks and not gym, and Gronk will be ready again.

Speaker 8 I'm confident in that. Hank's new thing is he just takes shot at all our friends.
That's fine.

Speaker 25 Oh, Merckepka sucks.

Speaker 35 Never said that.

Speaker 53 Never said that.

Speaker 25 All these guys stink.

Speaker 12 Never said anything.

Speaker 8 If, heaven forbid, Luke Wilson gets cut, he should go to the Patriots because they need a tight end, right?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 8 He can be their bridge to Rob Gronkowski.

Speaker 72 I don't think the Pelichuk system would work too well.

Speaker 53 I think he'd be fine.

Speaker 8 Now you're taking a shot at the guy with the battle. Damn it.

Speaker 25 He's literally a guest on today's show.

Speaker 8 Hank hates everybody that we like.

Speaker 35 If he did that interview, it would not go over well.

Speaker 66 Well, he won't on the Patriots.

Speaker 8 He won't do it on the Patriots, Hank.

Speaker 73 He would definitely still come on.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 66 Who's on the Patriots?

Speaker 8 Just our friend Luke. Our friend Luke from Foxborough.

Speaker 40 You guys are turning into like fake news where it's like, I can't even just give my honest opinions without getting sling.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry. Okay.

Speaker 8 Just my thoughts. All right, whatever.

Speaker 12 It's just my thoughts.

Speaker 20 All right.

Speaker 7 Next up, we have thoughts and prayers for Big Ben.

Speaker 8 Wait, I had one last question about CBD because I'm not a drug guy. Is CBD, is that the female version of the plant or the male version?

Speaker 8 It's sativa. So it's the female version.
So that's why Rob likes it. Oh, he loves it.
He likes to grind on it. Yes, he's all about it.
That makes sense. Okay.

Speaker 49 That's what I thought.

Speaker 23 Thoughts and prayers, Big Ben.

Speaker 10 So Antonio Brown said he was never friends with Big Ben.

Speaker 75 And

Speaker 29 I don't know. This actually could be an oh, you think.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it could be. But that's the meanest thing that you can say to a guy is like, actually, we were never friends.

Speaker 69 Really, though?

Speaker 8 Yeah, it's like saying, when I was catching all those passes from you, I was thinking about Tom Brady.

Speaker 7 I have a feeling Big Ben has had that said to him more than a few times.

Speaker 8 I was faking all my celebrations.

Speaker 10 Yeah, actually, Big Ben, you're kind of a dickhead.

Speaker 88 Yeah.

Speaker 88 That's not the first.

Speaker 55 That didn't take Big Ben by total surprise.

Speaker 8 Saying that you're a dickhead is much nicer than telling Big Ben that we were never friends when Ben, because Ben is not smart, so he thinks that he has like his circle.

Speaker 8 Like that was like if Ben is Forrest Gump, but then Antonio Brown was his bubba.

Speaker 24 They were never.

Speaker 10 Big Ben strikes me as the guy who's best friends with like the backup center and the punter.

Speaker 8 Maybe like one of the training guys. Yeah, because he spends so much time.

Speaker 14 No one on the team who contributes to the team is like buddy-buddy with Big Ben.

Speaker 8 I don't know. It's sad because they don't make a walking boot for your heart.
And I just feel absolutely destroyed for Ben on this one.

Speaker 49 But

Speaker 48 I don't even think it will register.

Speaker 8 He has emotions. He's a man.

Speaker 7 No, I don't know.

Speaker 8 And if you cut him, does he not bleed? No, I actually don't. If you lightly step on his foot,

Speaker 73 it's like a molasses that comes out.

Speaker 8 Does he not pretend that his entire ankle has been ripped off?

Speaker 65 Does he not pretend that he can't walk for the rest of the season, even though he'll definitely play and throw 50 times on Sunday?

Speaker 8 If Big Ben, he should get into CBD because maybe that would take away some of the swelling in his feet.

Speaker 47 He definitely would be like,

Speaker 14 I don't like to get high.

Speaker 71 I got high once and I had to call a cops because I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest.

Speaker 35 Backing of money.

Speaker 52 Big Ben's got an

Speaker 84 anxiety.

Speaker 84 He's a basic.

Speaker 7 He's a basic bitch. He's just like, oh my God, I ate these brownies and I thought I was having a panic attack.

Speaker 8 He strikes me as a guy that tries to fix everything just by swallowing Alka-Seltzer Tabs whole. And he just starts, his stomach just foams out of his body.
He's like a seagull.

Speaker 35 His stomach just blows up.

Speaker 8 I'm having a stroke.

Speaker 35 I'm having a seizure.

Speaker 19 Oh, no. What do you say, Hank?

Speaker 8 You say you like

Speaker 44 big. We love Big Ben.

Speaker 72 No, I was going to say the Alka Seltzer thing sounds like something you guys would do.

Speaker 57 What?

Speaker 52 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, as a joke. Yeah.
As a hilarious joke that makes me friends.

Speaker 12 And it might work, too.

Speaker 10 But that wouldn't be part of the joke.

Speaker 7 It would just be a positive side effect of the joke.

Speaker 71 Yep.

Speaker 51 Right.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 14 Let's do PMT Sports Biz Minute.

Speaker 10 Jake was actually, if you don't follow Jake on Twitter, PMT Sports Biz, he was at the U.S.

Speaker 41 Open and he did a great job.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 can we just call it the Open? Can we cuck the team?

Speaker 35 Well, we're going to get to that.

Speaker 63 We're going to get to talking tennis.

Speaker 8 So let's do the PMT Sports Biz Minute.

Speaker 96 Good morning. This is Jake Marsh with the PMT Sports Biz Minute.
The 2019 U.S.

Speaker 68 Open is in full swing over in Queens.

Speaker 96 Approximately 95,000 tennis balls are needed each year for this tournament. And the build-in process for the spheres of rubber and felt is no joke.

Speaker 96 You might only be familiar with the optic yellow tennis balls throughout the sport, but prior to 1972, balls were either black or white.

Speaker 96 This change was made to benefit television viewers, and safe to say, it has worked. All right, we had our little appetizer.

Speaker 8 Shout out to Gator Nation for getting the job done.

Speaker 96 But now things are getting real. Five straight days of college football.
That's 83 FPS games ranging from tomorrow night all the way to Labor Day night on Monday.

Speaker 96 Say each game takes three and a half hours. That's approximately 290 hours of football.

Speaker 68 What a time.

Speaker 96 That's your BMT Sports Biz Minute, Mr. Cap, Mr.
Commenter. Back to you.
Thanks, Jake.

Speaker 35 That's very cool.

Speaker 14 Great content, Jake.

Speaker 73 He also cucked Ravel today, and that was awesome.

Speaker 8 Big time. He broke the miserable main scoop from Leighton Vander Ash, the Wolf Hunter.

Speaker 8 Broke that scoop about a minute and 30 seconds before Ravel tweeted it out.

Speaker 35 This was an eternity.

Speaker 66 It is

Speaker 8 a full life. In the content game, that content belongs to you, Jay.
That is not Ravel's content.

Speaker 49 100%.

Speaker 7 He was too busy talking about Rory McElroy's nipples.

Speaker 8 Well, nobody else was, to be fair.

Speaker 8 I will admit when Ravel gets it right and when he tweeted out that not enough people are talking about Rory McElroy's nipples, he fucking nailed it.

Speaker 8 I mean, you got to turn your head off to the other side.

Speaker 10 Not enough people were.

Speaker 85 All right, so speaking of tennis, talking tennis, the U.S.

Speaker 41 Open is here.

Speaker 75 And.

Speaker 29 People keep being like, you're going to go to the Open?

Speaker 47 No. Yeah.

Speaker 92 You couldn't pay me.

Speaker 8 We're calling it the Open, Bob.

Speaker 39 And I love, I am day one, A1, Djokovic guy, but I still couldn't be paid to go to the Open.

Speaker 8 I'm a Federer guy, up and down, through and through.

Speaker 7 It's also very funny watching, I almost kicked that thing over. It's also funny watching the Instagrams from the U.S.

Speaker 40 Open because I feel like it's so American American for everyone

Speaker 2 to go to the U.S.

Speaker 29 Open and be like, look at this, tennis, culture.

Speaker 52 We're almost like Wimbledon.

Speaker 39 But then you see them and they're playing on a fucking like driveway pavement.

Speaker 8 It's like a neon court. Yeah.

Speaker 64 I do like that.

Speaker 59 Give me some grass. Give me some culture.

Speaker 37 Have everyone eat some strawberries and creams and the queen's corpse show up.

Speaker 16 That's right.

Speaker 8 I like the outfits, though, at the U.S. Open because they're all wearing the high-viz shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Usually, so it looks like somebody went to Wimbledon and just got handed like a construction job right outside. It really got the bright orange, the bright yellows.

Speaker 8 You're dunking your chicken tenders into Coke outside.

Speaker 8 That's one of the traditional dishes.

Speaker 85 It's like the Wimbledon remix with Lil John.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 41 That's what the U.S. Open is for America.

Speaker 8 Yeah, Ja Rule presents the U.S.

Speaker 35 Open.

Speaker 26 You want culture?

Speaker 87 We got it.

Speaker 57 That was a good one.

Speaker 8 That was good. All right.

Speaker 31 Last up, let's do some guys on chicks.

Speaker 85 Hank.

Speaker 66 Bubba. Bubba.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 35 So Bubba, tell the story.

Speaker 8 Bubba woke up this morning, and he's got this grovelly, like deep voice, this baritone. He sounds like Barry Weiss.

Speaker 14 He just lost his voice.

Speaker 8 Barry White.

Speaker 5 What did you do?

Speaker 7 Barry Weiss, definitely a different person.

Speaker 8 Different, definitely.

Speaker 86 I'm not even sick.

Speaker 28 That's really.

Speaker 35 That's your real voice?

Speaker 12 Yeah. That's a fake voice.

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 35 I take it back.

Speaker 8 You do sound like Barry Weiss.

Speaker 84 That's a fake voice.

Speaker 83 You just woke up like that.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 29 And are you sick?

Speaker 57 No.

Speaker 23 Does the overdose of white claws mean you're sick?

Speaker 52 Truly. Truly.
Sorry. Truly's.

Speaker 50 Bleep that out. No.

Speaker 41 Did you overdose on truly's this weekend?

Speaker 43 No.

Speaker 8 Do you smoke some real cigarettes or just jewels? No.

Speaker 44 You're sick, dude.

Speaker 49 Maybe you should smoke a jewel.

Speaker 66 All right.

Speaker 86 High PMT boys.

Speaker 86 Especially the hilarious, vicarious, sexarious Aquarius boys. Oh, I'm a Virgo, not to brag.
Can you explain what cuffing season is and why does it happen every fall?

Speaker 8 Cuffing season happens now because it's drive sober or get pulled pulled over. So

Speaker 12 they will lock you up.

Speaker 61 I'm pretty sure it's just hipsters.

Speaker 88 Wait, no, cuffing season is when you get a girlfriend or boyfriend, right?

Speaker 2 I was going to say the pants.

Speaker 83 I thought it was the pants.

Speaker 19 It could be.

Speaker 29 I thought they, you know, when people just fucking cuff their pants.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you're talking about South by Southwest.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's no one and Williamsburg in general.

Speaker 74 Like, you walk around with cuffed pants.

Speaker 72 I also think October, November is more cuffing season. Like, cuffing season coincides with when bears start to load up food before hibernation.
It's the same

Speaker 72 process.

Speaker 8 Yeah, when they start to eat the salmon, yeah, it's like the winter's coming.

Speaker 72 You want to just people don't forget, yeah. I mean, I've been proven right.

Speaker 83 Many people, so what?

Speaker 10 It's just like you gotta, you gotta find a boo for the winter.

Speaker 8 I think it's like you are going to go home and visit your parents at some point, and so you need to prove to them you're not a total loser and you're capable of procreation.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so you're like, hey, I found one, cuffed one, got one, tricked her, literally handcuffed her. She doesn't know all my bad hats.
Don't do that.

Speaker 86 Do most guys like it when

Speaker 86 girls genuinely like football? My boyfriend says it's intimidating but nice that on Sundays and Saturdays, I can take beers to the face and watch SEC and NFL football respectively.

Speaker 86 Let me hear your thoughts.

Speaker 19 Yeah, it's cool.

Speaker 8 It's absolutely cool. I think we have a lot of female listeners that do like football.

Speaker 35 They love football.

Speaker 8 And yeah, it's cool. But just do us a favor.
And when we're wrong about something, don't correct us in front of people.

Speaker 73 Yeah, don't ever say you got a bet right that your boyfriend got wrong or talk about about your fantasy team being better than his because we have very small, fragile egos and they can be crushed at even the slightest comment about your football prowess over your significant other.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. Yeah.

Speaker 57 I'm pre-laughing.

Speaker 25 Try not to.

Speaker 24 Wait, try your best to not sound.

Speaker 35 I am. I'm talking.

Speaker 86 Ah, there's another astrology one.

Speaker 86 Fuck you.

Speaker 86 sup boys my birthday is in late june so my zodiac sign is cancer okay but it has the 69 symbol nice can you tell me what the rest of my year looks like based on this thanks in advance all right so you were born in late june you like 69 jokes i think you're about to get cuffed oh by the way the astrology stuff I'm not into it, but I think at some point in my life, I will.

Speaker 37 It's one of those things I've had on on my to-do list.

Speaker 8 You got me? Like, you got to believe in something.

Speaker 10 See Jurassic Park become a weirdo who does astrology and lights like random scented candles.

Speaker 80 You just need to, you need to read a horoscope that slaps.

Speaker 82 Right. And then you'll be like, oh, right.

Speaker 85 It's one of those things that I don't do it now, but I know it was actually almost like Game of Thrones where I was like, I don't watch it, but I will watch it, and I'm sure I'll like it.

Speaker 47 Someday I'm going to wake up and just be spitting hot fire astrology signs and like being fully believing, like being like, PFT, that that that color does not go with, what are we, Aquarius?

Speaker 8 We're uh Mercury's and retrograde.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that that color does not go with the Aquarius heart, and you need to

Speaker 12 switch up your swim away.

Speaker 16 Yeah, all that shit.

Speaker 88 I'm gonna get, I am, I'm such a gullible piece of shit when it comes to that stuff.

Speaker 10 I will absolutely, I just gotta read the right one.

Speaker 77 You're right, Hank, and I'm it.

Speaker 8 You know what I've thought about doing this year is using astrology to gamble. So

Speaker 8 I might just read my, do you read your own chart? Or do you like read your horoscope every day? I don't know. Maybe.

Speaker 24 Read the chart of the quarterback playing.

Speaker 8 I'll read my horoscope. Here's what I'll do.
I'll read the charts of the two starting quarterbacks in a game in the NFL season, and then I'll use that to determine who I'm betting on.

Speaker 8 And then if that works for me one time, I'm an astrology guy for life.

Speaker 12 You call it a system.

Speaker 8 For life. I've got a system.
It's called the stars. It's called

Speaker 8 an XL sheet. Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Ever heard of him?

Speaker 34 Go tout

Speaker 10 PFTs, astrology picks, $49.99 a month.

Speaker 8 The stars don't lie.

Speaker 10 Guaranteed winners.

Speaker 86 Hate PMT, especially PFT.

Speaker 86 If you are marrying a guy but hook up with a female stripper during a bachelor party, does it count as cheating? Asking for a friend?

Speaker 12 Wait, say it again?

Speaker 8 If you're marrying a guy and you hook up with a female stripper during a bachelorette party,

Speaker 8 does that count as cheating?

Speaker 8 I'm free love. I don't think anything counts as cheating.
I say just like holes are all around us.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I think you probably just like casually say it right before you're getting married.

Speaker 77 Be like, you know, like

Speaker 18 maybe at the rehearsal dinner, just a quick toast.

Speaker 73 Be like, hey, thanks to everyone coming out. Thanks even to my future husband who got over the fact that I fucked a chick on my bachelor art party and see what he says.

Speaker 41 Because guess what?

Speaker 25 He will not have the balls to call it off at that point.

Speaker 8 Also, if you just kind of insinuate that maybe one day you might be into hooking up with the stripper and him at the same time, you don't actually have to ever do this, but if you just leave that door open a little bit, he'll be more than fine with it.

Speaker 8 It's that, or you can say, Hey, I got to talk to you. This is serious stuff.

Speaker 8 I stepped out of the bounds of our relationship last weekend, and I'm really sorry for it.

Speaker 8 And then, when he gets upset, then you toss in the fact that it was a girl, and then he's like, Oh, okay, good.

Speaker 24 And yeah, having sex with a stripper on your bachelor or bachelorette party definitely means you're ready for marriage.

Speaker 34 Yep, you're ready to go.

Speaker 83 Got it out of your system.

Speaker 86 This one is like based on the meme, so I don't know if you guys are going to get it. Dude, we know.
What's going on, boys? Hot girl summer was a lot of work.

Speaker 86 How soon is too soon to jump into Christian Girl Fall? Oh, will people see right past my riding boots and plaid scarves? Or is it not too late to repent the sins of the summer?

Speaker 86 Are guys even into that?

Speaker 8 All right, first

Speaker 8 thing is it's Christian Girl Autumn, not Christian Girl Fall. So let's get that straight.
I say as soon as college football kicks off in your hometown, it's Christian Girl Autumn.

Speaker 10 I was going to say the first SEC game, which is Georgia Vanderbilt.

Speaker 40 Perfect. Yeah, boom.

Speaker 8 That is an ultimate Christian Girl Autumn game.

Speaker 34 The Nashville girls will be leading the charge.

Speaker 8 It's time for cowboy boots and dresses to make the comeback.

Speaker 84 Big hats.

Speaker 8 You know how they say, like, that guy's

Speaker 8 that guy's all hat, no cattle. You see, like, a girl in boots, that girl's all boots, no Bible.
Yes. That's what some people say.

Speaker 58 Scarves and big boots and flannels,

Speaker 7 PSLs.

Speaker 8 Yeah, looking down on other people.

Speaker 34 Just do it all.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Judging people people on Twitter because they can't buy fancy clothes, calling them poor, do it all.

Speaker 8 Doing a fundraiser for your rich friend's kids?

Speaker 83 Yeah, doing a fundraiser for your sorority.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 19 That's do it.

Speaker 86 All right, last one.

Speaker 35 No, please do more.

Speaker 57 No, I don't want to.

Speaker 86 How do I deal with my boyfriend's fantasy football gambling addiction?

Speaker 86 Each year we keep losing more and more money, and he won't listen to me when I tell him to stop betting because he always thinks he'll win it back.

Speaker 19 Yeah, well, he will.

Speaker 17 Because if you make him quit, then all that he lost is lost forever.

Speaker 8 That's true. He's not down yet.
You're only down when you die.

Speaker 2 Correct.

Speaker 39 I would say be supportive of him, and maybe actually it's your job as a significant other to find him winners.

Speaker 37 That's a good point. So if it's really a problem,

Speaker 24 why don't you fucking put your hard hat on, get that XL spreadsheet out, crunch some numbers, maybe a little yards per fucking

Speaker 25 per possession, get that going.

Speaker 7 I was a big yards

Speaker 7 possession guy in like 2011.

Speaker 56 I had a spreadsheet that I thought figured it all out.

Speaker 8 I'm a DVOA guy now.

Speaker 26 Yeah, but do that.

Speaker 44 Help out the team.

Speaker 37 You're sitting on the sidelines.

Speaker 8 Get in the fucking game.

Speaker 65 Yeah, here's the thing.

Speaker 8 It's a partnership if you're in a relationship, and that means gambling included.

Speaker 8 So maybe you start studying astrology and maybe you come up with your own system through the stars like I'm about to and make a shitload of money.

Speaker 73 Get a joint bank account and then you can see how much he loses.

Speaker 8 Well, a great thing to do would be for you to start betting. And if you lose just as much money as he is,

Speaker 8 then he'll be like, Hey, we need to cut back on this together.

Speaker 20 Yes, so you that, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 It's going on a diet together, yeah, that's what you do. So, you need to start gambling just as heavily as he is, yes, and that way he can see the error in his ways.

Speaker 8 Because, guys, we are not very good at

Speaker 8 self at introspective activities.

Speaker 8 But when we see somebody else screwing up, then at that point, we can see the error in our ways. So, try to give that a shot.

Speaker 76 All right, that's our show.

Speaker 69 Friday, we are going to have a little college football preview with our friends Tom Fernelli and Andy Staples.

Speaker 13 So we'll get some winners for you.

Speaker 5 We'll get some preview for you. We'll do it all.

Speaker 73 Also, we might have a commercial, right?

Speaker 73 Yeah, we're going to put that commercial in.

Speaker 8 Let's just tease it. Yeah, there'll be a commercial.

Speaker 26 It's a commercial we've been talking about.

Speaker 73 No, it's a video, but also a commercial in this.

Speaker 8 We're going to do it both. Love you guys.
Got it. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Dude, we're just trying to get clickbait.

Speaker 35 It's fucking clickbait.

Speaker 14 Now you get people to fucking watch and listen, and they're like, holy shit.

Speaker 25 Oh, so they're not going to be in on Friday's show?

Speaker 8 Only the mooch can watch.

Speaker 10 Well, you won't know unless you listen to Friday's show.

Speaker 8 Love you guys.

Speaker 8 I love what

Speaker 8 to say. I'm fading anyway.

Speaker 8 Today's not my day to find you shining.

Speaker 66 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 66 I'm

Speaker 66 crazy.

Speaker 66 of me.

Speaker 66 Seven needles to stay.

Speaker 66 So the opposite is about me, it's still a little weight.

Speaker 66 So I've learned my life. It's okay,

Speaker 66 staying with me.

Speaker 66 It's not better to take me safe, sorry.

Speaker 66 You can can say

Speaker 66 that all

Speaker 66 justify that word breathe away.

Speaker 66 You all think I've got to remember. Wish I had away.

Speaker 66 I'll be coming for you anyway.

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