Raiders Luke Willson, Hard Knocks Episode 4 + Mt Rushmore Of Toughest Pills To Swallow

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Raiders tight end and star of episode four of Hard Knocks, Luke Wilson, friend of the program. Also, we threw in a little extra story that Luke Wilson told us a couple years ago about the Seahawks locker room after they lost the Super Bowl.
We have Hard Knocks episode four recap. Yeah, we waited up.
Fuck you, HBO Go. We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and Mount Rushmore of the toughest pills to swallow.
It got dark. Yes, it was not a fun Mount Rushmore, but it was a good one.

It was a good Mount Rushmore.

Right.

It was one that we all, you know what?

This Mount Rushmore was a tough pill to swallow.

Right.

So just open wide and swallow that shit.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's go.

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Today is Wednesday, August 28th.

Let's have a good show, boys.

Knock on wood if you're with me. That was of Hard Knocks and we also had and also guess what huge huge night the biggest takeaway for Hard Knocks huge huge night for the anti-cord cutters because HBO Go just decided not to put it up until 11.15 so I just want to say vindication for me for you PFT yeah i'm not a cord cutter you have you have cords hell yeah we all have cords so listen there's been a talked about thing on this show all you millennials doug gottlieb shout out doug gottlieb uh which we'll get to later all you millennials cut your cords i wanted to watch hard knocks at 10 o'clock and i couldn't till 11 15 yeah listen i paid my 250 a month in cable fees like everybody else so that i can watch so i can watch hard knocks one hour before everybody else i don't know i think my cable okay all right let's go sidetrack real quick i think my my cable bills a lot because i have the three tvs in my living room, ready for this, the okay button that is broken.

So I mash it really hard, and it works after like 10 mashes, right?

Turns out every time I mash it, it hits okay on the bottom boxes.

So I've purchased like six movies by accident in the last week.

So you're up to like 354.

Yeah.

It's a bad. I bought the Lego movie five times.
I haven't watched it. Every time I get my bill, I just get the text and it auto-drafts out of my account or whatever.
It's always like $250. I'm like, yep, that's the price for sports.
Yes. Sports in America costs $250 a month.
Sports now. Sports while you tweet...
Is it Spectrum? Yes. Verizon.
Yeah, Verizon File. You hear me now Sports Well You Tweet costs $250 in America.
That's what it is. Yes.
So yeah, the knock on wood was excellent. Canadian Luke Wilson.
Who's coming up. Who's coming up on today's show.
Star of the show. Was excellent.
My big takeaway is that nobody on the Raiders can sing. Yep.
It's like if the B-52s made a football team. They are very, very bad at all types of songs.
They had Hunter Renfro on last week. He tried to sing Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
By the way, if you want somebody to sing that song like from Remember the Titans, you get Richie Incognito up there to heal all wounds in the locker room. Either that or have him just do a Tupac.
Everything's forgiven. A Tupac song with all the words.
You know Richie will say all of them. Oh, yeah.
They're all so bad at singing it's shocking to me yes uh my two big takeaways Nathan Peterman is unbelievable yes fourth quarter comeback which I loved watching because I actually won money on that so shout out Nathan Peterman Mr. Fourth Quarter and my other big takeaway is Derek Carr is so damn awkward and John Gruden he is John Gruden's shadow he's John Gruden's Andy Bernard.
When he was like, hey, so where are you going to dinner tonight? And Gruden was like, well, we've got to decide the roster with Mayock. He's like, okay, cool.
Yeah. Cool.
That's your first problem. Just hanging around waiting for the invite, and it's just, I might be looking too much into it, but you know what? No, I'm not.
Derek Carr, you're a weirdo, dude. Chill out.
You should know by now that john gruden doesn't eat dinner he just eats whatever in the vending machine breed him if you want to eat dinner with john gruden on the road you just bring in a shit load of fritos and diet coke and you say okay boys we're having a feast we're doing it uh but no seriously derrick carr i felt like every time john gruden turned around john gruden definitely uh like has nightmares of derrick carr just sneaking up behind him and being like, Coach, you see that? You going to dinner? Where are you going? Chill out, Derek Carr. Dude, you're going to play for a year, and then John Gruden's going to move on.
Yes, he doesn't like you. Probably with Nathan Peterman.
He's definitely not in love with you. The word I want to start getting going for Nathan Peterman is moxie.

Moxie.

The kid has moxie.

I don't know what moxie means.

It does. That's what he is.

But I know that when you have a quarterback.

I know it when I see it.

It's like pornography, right?

He has moxie.

I enjoy watching him play.

Somehow he just realized, hey, maybe I throw the ball to my team.

He took Blake Bortles' advice.

Yep.

Said stop throwing interceptions.

Nathan Peterman, I'm going to say it right now.

He might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year. Okay.
I mean, are we doing that from injury? In at least one game. Injury? No.
In at least one game, John Gruden will just get pissed off at Derek Carr. Yeah, because he'd probably be like, hey, coach, are we going to dinner after the game? And it's one of those things where if you don't like somebody, all their mistakes appear much bigger to you.
Everything annoys him so like he says something to like that grun doesn't like over the headset uses a word he doesn't like that he doesn't understand everything was like get this asshole out of the game goes a little extra on the mascara yeah i'm putting the for the game the peter man man in the game and he's gonna go out there and win it for me or at least lose it by less the it was actually by far the worst hard knocks episode we we've had, but John Gruden, after winning a preseason game, he's got to walk. Basically, his chest and his gut leads him.
It's like walking a dog. His chest and his gut are walking John Gruden.
His chest is puffed out. He's like, man, this feeling.
It's like, dude, it was a preseason game on an 80-yard field. But that's what John Gruden is chest is puffed out he's like man this feeling it's like dude it was a preseason game on an 80 yard field but that's what John Gruden is he is such a football guy that I realized watching that I just need him to be good because a cocky John Gruden is so entertaining yes so entertaining and a disappointed John Gruden is very depressing yeah I don't want that I don.
I don't want that. We've seen that.
It sucks. Yeah, it kind of is.
When they win, they carry it in their shoulders unlike anyone else. Most coaches, when they win, lose, they're kind of the same.
When John Gruden wins, he can't hide his emotion. It's like beaming off of him.
It's radiatingating off of him it's a fucking preseason game imagine if he actually won in the nfl yeah so i mean you you compare him to other nfl coaches like you look at jay gruden jay gruden has like 180 degree different body length when he wins a game he's like i'm fucking glad that i didn't lose that game yeah thank god this is. Yeah, holy shit.
I'm walking out of here with a win instead of a loss.

That's amazing.

John Gruden just slaps hands.

He's got, you know, like you picture Andy Reid walking,

you probably picture like a tuba soundtrack following him around, right?

When you look at John Gruden walking around after a win, he's got the Bee Gees blasting inside his own head.

Yes.

Just nonstop.

Ladies, man.

Yeah, and he's just fucking, he's basically gliding.

He's pointing, he's giving finger guns left and right.

Oh, finger guns oh finger guns ass slaps back slaps man he's a man he's walking by the ball boy he's like what's up freckles yeah hey buddy hey good game you want me to sign he just signs it yeah and the kid's like dude i don't i'm the i work for the team yes i actually work for the packers yeah i don't need But he's just feeling it. I love it.
I need more of it. It really is contagious on a television screen.
Did you hear his little quote when it was in the middle of the knock on wood montage? And he was like, I don't want to see you guys shoving sand up a flea's ass. There you go.
I don't know what it means. Absolutely no idea what it means, but I'm not going to try to do it at all.
Knock on wood if you're with me. Not shoving sand, please ask.
The only other quote we had that I loved was the opening monologue when I think it was a defensive line meeting. And he was like, I love you guys, but some of your old football sucks.
He's like, and you got to be ashamed of it. And that's the ultimate like, hey, this is business.
It's not personal. If you need a recommendation, I got you.
But you fucking stink, and I'm going to cut your ass in a minute. Yeah, that was a pretty good quote.
I like that. I also like the return of Brogan.
Brogan Roback, Broby, made his long-awaited return to Hard Knocks. They need to bring him back just every season.
He needs to FaceTime a player on every season of Hard Knocks. Yeah, he just shows up.
I've realized this the last few weeks on Hard Knocks. I think professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the rest of the public in general.
That's an age thing, too. Is it? But I think it's mostly, like, I know some people in that age group and they don't FaceTime, they text.
Well, it's also professional athletes are in good shape. They always look good.
So they, it's kind of cheating that they FaceTime. Yeah.
Because FaceTime every i facetime i'm like oh that's me i spend 90 of my day trying not to show my face right oh that's my neck yeah yikes so i just flip it and just show stella the whole time yeah look at the dog yeah yeah i don't want to see my fat face um okay speaking of my fat face if you want to see my fat face uh barstoolgold.com slash pmt can do it right now. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
We got a new one coming. New bonus episode coming in a week and a half.
Yeah? Yeah. September 8th.
September 8th. And yeah, check it out.
You can watch every single podcast. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Okay, let's do some hot seat cool throne. Hank.
My hot seat is PFT. Oh.
PFTricky, PF Chang, Kung Pao Chicky. Oh.
What's up? The corp is back. Oh.
Okay. Damn, trying to get a wedge there, huh? No, I'm not.
I'm just saying like, you know. People say that.
What about? People are saying. Even though we've done like a million side projects that have never been as big as this one.
I've heard that people are saying that Big Cat's on the hot seat because Erica Nardini is taking his place. True.
Good point, PFT. Very true.
And cucking Big Cat out of his podcast with A-Rod. Yes.
So the Corp launched. It is my side project with A-Rod.
Your side piece. It's two episodes a week on Tuesdays, so it does not conflict with part of my take.
This week was Martha Stewart and Kevin Bacon. Listen to it, and then next week there'll be two new ones, and it's going to run for about six or seven weeks, so check it out.
Not a wedge in between this podcast, even though actually the biggest wedge in this podcast, if we're talking about other podcasts, is the Fantasy Football Powerhouse. Factory.
Fantasy Football Factory Powerhouse, which takes place in this very studio. And Hank just leaves shit everywhere.
There's spreadsheets everywhere. Everything's unplugged.
You just move everything. We need to start some kind of fine punishment, whatever, if we come into this studio again and everything's been moved and unplugged.
We like things just so. I can tell when I sit down if somebody's been sitting in my chair.
Yeah, why don't you plug it back in, Hank? Why don't you take only photographs, leave only footprints? Fair enough. Okay.
Subscribe, unsubscribe, resubscribe. And to the corp.
And to the corp. Big Cat did a, whatever you call it, Hannibal Lecter impression in front of Martha Stewart.
Oh, I forgot about that. Put my draw on the floor.
Yeah, that was very weird. Yeah.
How'd you take it? She was talking about the actual actor. She's like, I dated Anthony Hopkins.
Oh, she dated Anthony Hopkins. I was like, ooh, you didn't like some fava beans and nice candy? Yeah.
Did he eat your fava beans? And she just looked at me like, is this fucking idiot serious right now? I love it. Yeah, there's definitely a weird dynamic sometimes when a guest knows A-Rod and obviously has no idea who I am and just looks at me like, is this fucking idiot serious right now? I love it.
There's definitely a weird dynamic sometimes when a guest knows A-Rod and obviously has no idea who I am and just looks at me like this fat fucking moron is somehow in this room with me. But I love Martha Stewart.
She was awesome. She actually was legit.
She was youthful exuberance. Indeed.
And then my cool throne is me. Oh, good.
Very nice. Football powerhouse.
Factory. Oh.
New episodes on Thursday. Okay.
I wasn't going to say, guys, you guys brought it up. I would never cross promote.
I know this is a part of my take only podcast. However, this has nothing to do with the fantasy football podcast on iTunes.
This is all about me and the fact that I picked up my laundry. Yeah.
Okay, you got your bag. I saw that.
That was nice. Let's go, Hank!

Was there anything missing?

I have no idea.

This was the feeling of going through this bag.

It's like meeting kids that you were on your freshman dorm, like kids that were in your building that you're friends with and you run into them at a bar five years later.

Well, you can only relate to that because you only went to freshman year.

No, I know.

But say it's like you run into someone and you're like, oh, I know you.

I remember you.

We were close. I haven't seen you in a long time.
Yeah. But now that we're in front of me like we're cool i'm happy to see you does it feel like new clothes yes but it's more like it's like oh fuck like i forgot i had like is that what you're wearing right now yeah oh wow it's good it's a good sweatshirt and but the thing is i didn't remember that i didn't have it like yeah it's like you forget about it and when you're going through the bag like oh yes i i remember you for like first time yeah yeah we had good times like why can't we be keep being let's be bros it's a time capsule now how long ago did you drop this off uh over a month okay so time capsule from a month ago i like that about you know what you should do oh how about this for a life hack if you live in new york city very relatable uh and no one has storage here because everyone lives in a fucking shoebox.
It's the worst city in the world. You should drop off all your winter clothes in April at the laundromat and just leave them there until the fall.
A little treat for yourself. And bring them back.
Yeah. That's not a bad idea.
That is a life hack. Just came up with that one.
Life hack. Is that it, Hank? That's it.
So I'm on hot seat. You're on cool throne.
Yes. Got it.
Good job, Hank. Thank you.
My hot seat is Kirk Cousins. Prep Hank.
Uh-oh. Kirk Cousins is on the hot seat because I don't know if you guys.
The last name Cousins. What do you mean? Today? Oh, never mind.
No, we're not getting into that. Okay.
We're going to brush past that one. But, no, I don't know if you've watched any Vikings preseason games, but Kyle Slaughter, their third string quarterback.
Uh-oh. This guy, we talk about preseason all-stars.
This guy's the best fucking player in the history of any league's preseason of all time. I watched him play on Saturday against the Cardinals.
He looks cool. He wears one of those new visors out there.
Which are cool, the tinted visors. The tinted visors.
The lightly tinted visors. They brought him back since 1998.
You haven't been able to tint your visor. Listen, Kirk Cousins needs to be benched.
Kyle Sloater needs to start the season for the Vikings. Here's some stats from Kyle Sloater, okay? First of all, he...
How do you spell his last name first? S-L-O-T-E-R. Where did he play college? Well, he played one year at Northern Colorado.
Okay. He's a 25, but he's a young 25.
Yep. He's only got like four years of football on him.
What was he doing? Before that? Yeah. He was sitting on the bench at Southern Miss, I think.
No, but like was he, he's 25. Like was he, did he have a couple years off? No, he's been in, he's been in the NFL.
He was a true senior when he played his one season. Got it.
And now he graduated. He started on the Broncos.
He's six foot five. So it's a shock that John Elway ever let him get out.
But I figured that John Elway saw Brock Eisweiler and was like, oh, there's a 6'7 guy. So next to him, the 6'5 guy is expendable.
Listen to these preseason stats, okay? In the preseason, he has thrown 95 out of 126 completions. He's thrown that many passes? Yes.
What? Oh, not this season. Got it.
Tell you what, I'll break it down. First year, 31 for 43.
You don't have to. 400 yards.
41 for 56. Second season, 366 yards.
So far, this season, he's 23 for 27 for 280 yards. He has 10 touchdowns in preseason.
Not this year total. 10 touchdowns in preseason.
Zero interceptions. 75.4 rate all against backups and he's a fucking beat well you get started on that and say with the backups on the field with him so you can't really you can't put that on the defense if his offense is also third string also i got this tip from somebody this is from uh twitter user tommy b730 one season in madden his quarterback got hurt, and Slaughter had to start for the next four to six weeks.
After three weeks, I traded my franchise quarterback because Slaughter was so good. So then there you go, straight from a scout's mouth.
All aboard the Slaughter boat is all I'm saying. He makes $640,000.
Kirk Cousins makes $30 million. So when is Slaughter getting cut? You fucking know that Mike Zimmer hates paying a quarterback $30 million a year.
He's paying anyone anything. Yes, correct.
Everyone should play the game for free. Everyone should play it for a nice pouch of Redman.
A nice pouch of Redman. Hidden his sunflower seeds.
And a cool eye patch. Yeah.
But Kyle Slaughter is the fucking truth. I want him on my team.
If he gets cut, there should be 31 hungry teams chomping at the bit to pick up sloater kyle sloater i'm i'm starting the bandwagon by far the most that kyle sloater will ever be talked about listen in any show ever he came into the game and the vikings announcers were like well sloater's coming in so he's about to throw two touchdowns and win the game what does he do take two touchdowns twice two touchdowns won the gamelaughter does. Slaughter time.
Slaughter time. Open up a nice can of Slaughter.
There you go. The Slaughter cycle.
Yeah. Take it nice and Slaughter.
I could go on. We could do it for days.
Cool thrown is Chick-fil-A because Popeyes ran out of chicken. So we're going to talk about the chicken sandwich again.
Chick-fil-A is looking pretty happy right now because there's no more chicken sandwiches for popeyes they took it off the menu until october at the very earliest that's i mean this is straight out of the mcrib handbook it is so everyone's going to be chomping at the bit before uh smart comes back it's smart by popeyes for now but in the meantime it gives chick-fil-a the opportunity to kind of like circle the wagons a little bit because they know they got their ass kicked by this they're not're not going to do anything. It's the chicken wars.
They have the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card. They'll never do it.
If something happens, they're going to have to do it. If anybody from Chick-fil-A listens, I'm going to give you a way to compete at least with the Popeye's chicken sandwich.
Okay, number one, maybe stop with the gay bashing. Number two, develop an extra spicy chicken sandwich.
If you go to market with with extra spicy that'll take all the buzz off popeyes yeah i would agree right yeah people would be down for a fucking extra or number three do a shamrock shake in october or get billy mcfarland involved also that somehow from jail he'll probably be selling like He's definitely trying to sell Popeye's chickens via email. Yeah.
He's sending an email being like, we've got 50 Popeye's chickens ready to go in Manhattan. Yes.
If you buy this card, this black card here, then you get access to the line that nobody tells you about that is actually just leading directly into a brick wall. Right.
In front row to the US Open that no one wants to go to yep my other cool throne is doug gottlieb yeah because doug gottlieb he apologized to sarcasm yeah so he did a major sorry not sorry he apologized for everybody not getting his joke uh so he was joking but he was also kind of being serious so his explanation was i was i was being a smart ass and i was joking but at the same time, you have to admit millennials are so he totally apologized, but then said that he didn't mean his apology. He also replied to a friend of the program, Aaron Nagler, and said when Aaron was like, hey, delete this, man.
This is stupid. He replied, do you think Alex Smith, who's trying to rehab from this injury, would quit? So he was 100% serious.
No, he's totally serious. And it's proof to him that millennials are too sensitive.
Millennials like Bo Jackson and Troy Aikman. I have a slight addiction going on.
It's the seeds of an addiction. So on the Yak, the radio show, we both host radio shows how many side projects you're gonna bring up well you have one too big if true right before the yak uh people have been calling in and giving doug gottlieb klepto stories and there are so many and they're all hilarious he apparently i believe allegedly alleged he apparently at ESPN there's like a green room where guys will like, you know,

like,

you know like uh they'll they'll take off their tie or their belt or shoes he would just take stuff you just like take another man's shoes like it was from wardrobe yes take another man's shoes you're like there's some charity golf things stories I am slowly becoming a doug gottlieb fan just purely on the fact that if you don't have everything nailed to the floor doug gottlieb will come and take it yeah that's fine i like that i mean he led the league in steals when he played in at oklahoma state right yeah that makes sense to me so here's the thing about doug is he missed a golden opportunity with all this his apology was very misguided youided. At that point, you have to double down and you have to become the Andrew Luck hating guy.
Like how Colin Coward is the Baker Mayfield guy and every time Baker says something it's like Baker's putting a little food in Colin Coward's little dish. Being like, here, eat up Colin.
Eat up your little puppy. Shout out to Colin Coward who like two weeks ago said Baker Mayfield needs to act more like Andrew Luck.
There you go. Nailed that one.
There you go. Good job, Colin.
Also said last year that Andrew Luck is going to start a 10-year dynasty. Cow-curred.
Makes sense. He should just become the coward of Andrew Luck.
And just every time Andrew Luck shows up in the news, that boom, you got an hour's worth of radio right there. Then no one will listen listen to.
Yeah. Well, people will interact with it to dunk on you.

Everybody dunked on Doug Gottlieb.

That's one of those beautiful moments where the internet kind of comes together to hate

on the same person.

It was sarcasm.

It was sarcasm.

That's what he said.

Everyone knows I'm sarcastic.

Witty Doug Gottlieb.

Yep.

Who would have known that we would have two of the greatest comedians of our time drop

hits this week?

Dave Chappelle and Doug Gottlieb. That's crazy.
Yeah. Damn.
Doug, you really blew this one. Yeah.
Wow. All right.
My hot seat is normal baby names because Bryce Harper named his kid Crew. Good name.
With a K. Good name.
Crew with a C is a good name. Crew with a K.
Not a bad name. Crew with a K.
And then he did Aaron with just one A as his middle name. Aaron.
No. Yeah.
Crew Aaron. Was the K backwards in Crew? No.
Yeah, there was a Motley Crew umlaut over it. Because that motherfucker strikes out a lot.
Crew. And it sucks that he didn't have this kid last year because it would have been great to be like, well, he's got a dog named Wrigley and a kid named Crew, so he's going to go to the Brewers.
He's going to go pinstripes he should have done that he should have fucked with everyone he's gonna go to columbus you're last yeah or named his kid like i wanted i want to be traded yeah or he's good yeah he's gonna quit uh to pursue rowing yeah yeah he's i don't crew that's okay that's what that tells me crew with a k uh my cool throne is not bitter that he's not with the Cubs. No, actually, I'll be honest with you.

This is dead honest.

Yes.

Bryce Harper would be a very redundant talent to what the Cubs have right now,

and the Cubs need professional hitters, not more guys who hit home runs and strikeouts.

Okay.

That's actually the facts.

Okay.

I wish they had more Castellanos, not more Harpers.

Okay.

My cool throne is my dental health i went to the dentist

for the first time in four years only two cavities upset of the century that's pretty good i was so

pumped when he told me he's like you only got to get two filled boom not a little fist pump not

to stop yeah but i went to the dentist for the first time in like nine years two years ago didn't

have any cavities well that's because you're not eating enough of the good life. Yeah.
Sugar. Well, no, that's correct.
I go full paleo. Dummy.
If you're in ketosis, your body's protected against all holes. So check off another thing off my list of trying to become an adult because I'm a father now.
So I went to the dentist. Did they now, did he give you the lecture of you need to floss? Oh, dude, it a lot of lectures and bro i floss every day you see my kicks the the best was uh the the hygienist before she started cleaning my teeth was like is there anything i should know do you dislike anything i was like i hate all this that's why i haven't been in the dentist four years so everything you do i'm gonna do that like weird gag where you think i'm gonna throw up and my face hurt because i was cringing so hard it's time to ask the question are dentists scams like because between me and you only two we're averaging one we're averaging one cavity in the last 10 years though he didn't go yeah he fell out how many cavities did you have no cavities just a couple root canals yeah the special cap that was he also asked the dentist was like so i see you had a root canal what happened there i remember it vividly i had four cavities last time i went uh-huh and uh i got two of them filled and mid dental visit i pretended i had an emergency because i hated getting the cavities filled so bad i left after i I got two filled.
They're like, you ready to do the other two? I was like, no, I got to go. Ignored that for six months.
Both became root canal. Wait, so when you have these two cavities right now, are you going to get surgery for them? Are you going to get the fillings? No, I'm going to get them filled.
I made it back. I'm going next week.
Okay, so here's what we have. We have to turn that into content somehow and record a segment of the show when you're numbed up.
Yeah, but it does. They don't gash you.
They just numb your gums. Yeah, but they'll numb like your cheek.
Okay, I'll try. I'll take a video.
I'll try. We should do that.
But yeah, I basically, I knew that if I left the dental office without making a follow-up appointment, I would never be back. It'd be like an Andy Dufresne situation.
You might see you on the beach in 50 years, dude. Listen, as far as I'm concerned, dentists are scams.
Yeah, really. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. All right, back to part of my take.
Mount Rushmore. Last two.
Here we go.

We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of hardest pills

to swallow.

Okay. There's a lot.
Now who goes first?

Going to the dentist. Hank goes first.

Oh, because if I was going to go first, I was going to take Hank's,

which would have been Viagra.

Nice. Burn.

My number one

is taxes.

Getting your

paycheck and then looking at

Thank you. my number one is taxes getting your paycheck and then looking at what you would have made without taxes and just every time you're thinking why don't I have more money and just thinking about taxes realizing that they never go away unless you don't pay them but you should pay them because you get trouble if you don't pay them you should become a sovereign citizen if picture of it.
Yeah. If there's no American flag with yellow fringes on it in whatever room you're in, then that's not technically part of the United States.
Yeah. And you don't need to listen to the laws.
That's a good pick. I had it as my number one as well.
Taxes fucking suck. All right.
My first pick will be getting old socks parentheses, especially hangovers. So hangovers getting worse and just the aging process is the worst.
When you just start to lose. That's like a slow pill, though.
You lose everything, though. But you lose it, but it's a tough pill to swallow.
And you can't do things that you used to do in your youthful exuberance. It just sucks.
It becomes this place where it's like 10 o'clock at night and you've had six beers. Yeah.
And you just start thinking, fuck, I'm going to be hungover. And you start to feel the hangover before you get.
In your knees. Or like just even it's just everything.
Everything about drinking, hangovers, getting old. It just all sucks.
It's a tough pill to swallow. You just stay drunk.
Yeah. That's one option.
My first one, I'm going to go with just knowing that you'll'll eventually die nobody really swallows that pill ever very few of us do fuck yeah it was remember how fucked up it was when they taught coco the gorilla about its kitten dying and they taught the gorilla what death was no i don't yeah and then robin williams coco knew more loss than most people i'd rather be harambe than coco yeah because harambe had no idea what death was. He's just, oh, here's a kid.
Oh, okay, now I'm floating through outer space. So, yeah, realizing that you're going to die, just accepting that fact, that's a tough pill to swallow for everybody, I think.
Harambe is still that. I mean, that's an honorable mention.
Our sweet prince. Just him? Harambe not being here.
Yeah, that is a tough pill.

My second one is realizing that you're not going to be good enough at sports to make the major leagues.

Shit.

I still remember when I realized.

I had a four-list Mount Rushmore.

Oh, Hank.

That's a tough pill to swallow.

I was like, you know what, PFT?

You're a junior in college.

You're probably not going to make the major league baseball.

Oh, that's when you were thinking, yeah.

Because you haven't played baseball in six years. Yeah.
Um, okay. I'll go with, uh, I'll go with something similar to your death one PFT, but it's a little bit harder of a pill to swallow.
In my opinion, all dogs die. Jesus dude.
Yeah. It's a hard pill to swallow.
That's a human death you can deal with but it's and most dogs die while you're still alive right that's what it is it's the human death is yes it's obviously worse but you don't deal with it in the amount that like if you live to 80 you're gonna have probably eight dogs. And it just...
You can't boop them when they're gone. Nope.
So that one's a tough pill to swallow that your pets... Yeah.
I can't even say it. It's messed up, man.
I know. I feel like Rob Gronkowski.
I mean, that's the tough... I literally just won it with the toughest pill to swallow.
We could end this. It's sad.
I'm just going to feed Leroy CBD. Fuckbd fuck okay hank now thankfully this uh didn't happen anymore obviously i have a girlfriend now but realizing that the girl you have a crush on is never gonna like you uh yeah that is big time tough pill to swallow big time tough pill swall never happened to me no of course but i imagine that it would be tough it is uh and then the my second one or third one i'll go with realizing no matter how many times you grow your hair out you're never gonna have flow oh like i've i've always i've always right you can't relate bubble can't relate i've just had this like i love the idea of having flow i've grown my hair out i do it at least once a year and i'm like I'm going to grow my hair out extra long and it's just going to look good.
It never does and then it just I have to cut it. Do you have like a poof? Do you get a little afro? Yeah, I got a fro.
So here's the thing. Too curly.
When you grow your hair out, it's like the 6 to 10 month time range that it's going to look awful no matter what. My head's like a chia pet.
It doesn't, like I want I want what you got. I want what Bub Goss, where it comes down.
My hair just grows up and out. You've got to straighten it, Hank.
We've got to get you a straightening iron. Yeah, we do.
You'd look sick. You'd look like Billy Mitchell from King of Kong.
You'd get you a jerry curl. Actually, you could have a jerry curl.
I could curl this shit. I thought about getting a perm.
You should do that. I'll get a perm.
All right. My next one, I'm going to say you're never going to win gambling.
You're never going to win gambling. It's not true.
Not with that mentality. Swallowing the pill of how much money you've lost gambling, that's a tough pill to swallow.
Well, that's an easy pill to avoid swallowing by just never looking. I understand, but just being like, hey, as much as I love this, it's never going to work.
Yeah. Never going to work.
All right. This is a bummer of a mouthwash.
This is a real bring down. Okay.
Mine, the first player younger than you retires from sports. That is a very tough pill.
Andrew Luck. Yeah, Andrew Luck when he retired.

Shaq, I don't know, Shaq's not younger than me,

but Shaq was a guy that I remembered his entire career.

That was a tough one.

But when a guy younger than you retires

because of old age and major league sports,

it's a tough pill to swallow for sure.

And then my last one, I'm just going to go with

accepting the fact

that your star quarterback cheated repeatedly

and that maybe his punishment was worthwhile.

You might find yourself just panicking, not knowing what to do.

You end up finding yourself in a reckless position getting arrested.

I think you need to name names if you're going to do it.

No, I'm just saying you find yourself getting arrested.

Rooting for the Broncos.

You need to name names if you're going to go this far. No, I think that people can put the pieces together who we're discussing here.
Stand up for what you believe in. That's what I think.
It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize that the league is against the best quarterback in the league and that there's an unfair jealousy and hatred towards your crown jewel. It's fucked up.
Once you realize, the corporations that we love aren't true and are very corrupt. That's a tough pill to swallow.
Woke Hank. Hank Woke Wood.
All right. I'm going to do another depressed one for my last one.
Your best friends will slowly fall out of your life. It's a tough pill to swallow.
Yeah, but it is. At least you have your dog.
And then you have the group checks where people just like things. It's just one of those things, getting older, you just know.
Like you, I think probably, what would you say, 20 is the peak of your amount of friends you have because you still have maybe some high school friends and you've got all your college friends. I'd say like 25, mid-20s.
You think so? I feel like you've already lost some. I feel like you've already gone on the decline.
I think that middle ground, maybe sophomore to junior year in college. Yeah, you have your peak amount of friends.
From that point on until the day you die, you will lose a friend a year. And it's kind of cyclical, though, because every fall, i just got a bunch of friends back right last week because fantasy football the group tech started i'm like oh i have friends again right that's kind of sucks it sucks it's also then it's also that's almost a reminder of like damn i like we're not even that close anymore or like i don't even talk to these kids except for once or twice a year right scheduling the draft when you're in your mid-30s and you can't because like three out of the group, they have like five kids.
Right. And they have activities that they have to go to.
A side one for this is like after you graduate college, you'll never live in the same city as like some of your best friends. That sucks.
To come to that realization and just be like, okay. This is a bummer.
Yeah, this is a bummer. This is a bummer.
Hank, what's your last pick? My last pick is realizing that the summer's over and your next vacation is God knows how long away probably in a week for you you actually aren't you going well there's a union a shout out no i'm not taking friday off oh labor day after friday oh okay labor day weekend sunday yeah uh but yeah it's tough yeah it is it's like the summer you know you guys love the fall i love the summer i do love realizing that the the summer is not coming back anytime soon i'm take or leave with with the summer i love the summer i'm with you hank um all right what do we miss fish oil yeah that's a tough pill for sure they do and then they're like huge you burp later yeah fish uh personal one wisconsin will never win a national title in football or basketball yeah but you kind of accepted that though well i accepted it when Coach K paid off the refs at halftime, but that was the moment. That was the chance.
It will never happen. A touchdown catch for your team that doesn't count, like when they take it back after review.
And then he breaks his leg and never gets to play again. That's also a tough one, yeah.
When there's no snow on the ground and you're in school and you were promised snow and you wake up and you open up the window and you just keep staring outside hoping that snow will just appear or when you this is i mean this thank god doesn't happen anymore when you would go to your teacher and ask for your grade and then you realize that the only way you're going to be eligible is if you get like 100 days in a row like it's too late you go to your teacher being like all right how can i salvage this semester and they're fucked you're already fucked it's over uh pyramid schemes aren't real yep can't make you money that's a tough pill to swallow i've been involved in a couple as not a i haven't run them but you've been a lower tier yeah i've recognized that i was in a pyramid scheme too late too late that's actually a good one is is just uh acknowledging the fact that you are currently in a pyramid scheme right because they do a good job of like defending you against that they're like hey your friends are going to tell you it's a pyramid scheme but yeah it's multi-level marketing yes it's different uh a moment on your a moment on your lips forever on your hips whatever you eat like especially as you get older your metabolism it's just gonna suck yeah uh i have. That was a big-time wine mom quote that you just gave right there.
I have one PFT, and I'm not saying this to you. Yeah, go ahead.
But I'm just going to say it. I personally don't.
It's not a tough pill for me to swallow. Tall people run the world.
Yes and no. Yes.
Short people take over the world. For moments.
For moments. And then are infamous infamous Yes, it's true For the rest of history But tall people People run the world Yeah, but Day to day But ironically They have to be looking over their shoulders Tall guy walks into a meeting Everyone's like Who is this guy? Yeah, being short That's just a fact Being on the shorter side Of being perfectly average Was a tough pill for me to swallow Right Because until I was 25 I was like, maybe I'll grow.
Maybe if I drink a little more milk. Yeah, but you know what? For those of us that don't have to be tall, we have to do a little something called develop a personality.
I'm just stating facts. Tall people run the world.
The last one I had was no one actually likes dad bots. That's such a fucking myth.
And to be like, have the glimmer of hope. Yeah.
You know, the whatever year it was when Jason Segel and Seth Rogen had like their big hits

and everyone's like, oof.

The summer of chonk.

These guys, they're funny.

But no, that's not real.

The Sopranos ending.

That was a tough bill to swallow where it just cuts to black and you don't know what

happened.

You're like, wait, is my TV broken?

Everybody was like pounding the side, unplugging, replugging. It just cut to black.
Yep. That's a big one.
Also, you'll never have a six pack. Yep.
That's just like once you realize that point, you're like, that's never happening. But it's liberating once you recognize it.
Because now I'm just like, fuck it. You know what? If I can just get into decent shape, then I'm fine with that.
I'm never going to have that six pack. Oh, yeah.
Also, one really depressing one. Climate change is real and the earth is basically going to fry in the next hundred years.
Yeah, or less. Or less.
Yeah, for sure going to happen. Finding out that you're addicted to Juul.
Like, seriously, hardcore addicted. But then breaking the addiction is an awesome pill to swallow.
But I did not swallow the pill of knowing that I was addicted for a long time. I was like, I can quit anytime I want.
Everyone else around you did. Everyone else was like, get these fucking things away from him.
He's going to fry his lungs. He's just doing it as a joke.
Yeah, it was ironic. So that was what I couched in.
But that's a tough one to swallow. Because there's nothing cool about being addicted to Juul.
Yeah. All right.
We'll put it up there. Vote.
Your candidate lost the election. Yes.
What? You're pointing at me? No. Yeah, everyone.
Just in general. I am a Bernie bro.
One's candidate lost the election. Yes, that is a tough.
It's a four-year pill to swallow. You just keep swallowing it over and over and over and over.
Okay, before we get to our interview with Luke Wilson, we're going to actually throw on a little extra Luke Wilson from his Super Bowl story, the Malcolm Butler game. All-time story that he told.
We're going to put that at the end. We talked to him two years ago.
So if you missed that, make sure you listen to that. A quick word from our friends at NHTSA.
Drive sober or get pulled over. That's what we're saying right now.
That's what NHTSA is saying because guess what? If you feel different, you drive different. If you drive high, you get a DUI.
We are practicing safe driving. It's the end of summer.
It's the holiday season. get behind a car a wheel if you are drunk you knew the risks of driving drunk there could be a crash people who get hurt or killed you could get arrested incur huge legal expenses and possibly even lose your job you knew the consequences of driving drunk and you were wrong when you said it was no big deal so you need to drive sober or get pulled over i'm gonna go off script for a second here guys just straight up if you get behind the wheel of a car and you are drunk or you are high or you're riding a motorcycle and you are drunk or you're high you're an asshole so don't do it you not only will you get arrested because you'll get cracked down by a cop or you will hurt someone hurt yourself it's just not worth it.
There's a ton of different ways to get home safely these days. It's not 40 years ago where you can't get a cab.
You have ways. You have no excuse.
Drive sober or get pulled over. I'm saying it again.
Drive sober or get pulled over because NHTSA is out there and we are making sure that people drive home safely and make sure

they get home safely. You're putting everyone at risk when you get behind the wheel of a car drunk or high because that's the other thing.
People don't realize if you're feeling a little different, a DUI covers more than just alcohol. Drugs that make you feel different will make you drive different and you could get a DUI from that as well.
Always remember if you feel different different, you drive different, never drive high. Drive high, get a DUI.
Drive sober or get pulled over. So do that.
Practice safe driving this holiday weekend coming up or else you're also banned from this podcast. We're going to say it.
Boom. If you get a DUI.
You're banned from this podcast. So there it is.
Thank you, Danisa. You're no longer welcome.
You're no longer welcome. Okay okay here he is oakland raiders tight end and hard knock superstar luke wilson okay we now welcome on our good friend recurring guest actually yes no not account him as a recurring guest because he's been on barstool radio and i've personally ran into him at every single Super Bowl party I've ever been to.
Right. And we're going to play the story for anyone who didn't hear it at the end of this interview, the all-time story that Luke Wilson told about the famous Seahawks Super Bowl where Malcolm Butler intercepted the pass to last play of the game.
So it is Luke Wilson, Oakland Raider, Luke Wilson. Good to have you on, on luke let's get right into it uh hard knocks how weird is that having a camera in your face all the time yeah it's a bit bizarre like first few days whatever there's cameras around but it's almost like having big brother everywhere and you can say like all you want like dude i'm mic and this guy's mic'd up, but when you're kind of in that heat of a practice and just, like, hanging, you forget, like, that there's a camera always kind of watching.
Like, there's been numerous times where even today I'm, like, chilling, and I'm talking some kind of bullshit that I probably don't want recorded, and it's, like, I can see the guy from down the field, like, zoomed in. And there's a dude behind us with the damn boom mics.
I'm like, man, these fucking guys, they're, like, silent. They're, like, angels, man.
They get everything. Yeah.
Are you on Hard Knocks right now? Is there a camera on you? Ooh. No, I am not on Hard Knocks right now.
I am not. I'm in the comfort of my apartment.
Shit, can we actually. I don't think there's a camera.
Let's redo that. And you say, yeah, they're taping me.
I'm not sure if they're going to use it next week or not. That way everyone will tune in.
Hey, Luke, are you on Hard Knocks right now? Is there a camera on you? Yeah, right now. There's a camera and a boom mic.
Oh, shit. I wonder if we're going to make it.
That'd be awesome, wouldn't it? This will be cool if on hard knocks next week so uh you you also have famously had uh the review of the Golden Gate Bridge which was an all-time review pretty pretty cool fucking bridge um did you get drug tested after that review I didn't man I've uh I'm feeling clear with the drug test right now. Okay, good.
We've had our annual already, though. So maybe that was after.
So maybe I'm clear for a year when it comes to anything. I like it.
It's not a PD. Do you have a power ranking of your top three bridges? I would have to say Golden Gate Bridge is up there.
I'm going to put the Ambassador Bridge at number two.

The only reason is because I don't know the name of a third bridge.

Okay.

Chesapeake Bay.

Verrazano.

Tappan Z.

Never seen it.

George Washington Bridge.

Don't even know where that is.

Bridge over troubled water.

Teddy Bridgewater.

Oh, what about the Oakland Bay Bridge or whatever? That's one. Oh, the Bay Bridge mind i see it every day we'll put that number three okay okay good it's it's very literal top three of bridges it's actually the top three bridges you have physically seen yourself yes correct so we've we've obviously been watching hard knocks i always wonder if the players that are on it if you guys sit down and watch the show too.
I haven't. I was a little upset after the first episode.
And so I kind of had my own little private boycott of Hard Knocks. I've checked out a couple of clips.
They put some stuff on Instagram called My Boys and Blowing It Up. But you just don't know what they're going to put on and what they're not um i was really pushing i i've said a lot of real fucked up shit and thrown a lot of people under the bus but apparently it's too offside and they say won't make the show that's like the first episode they tell me they're like yo you're not in it and then i got it believe it or not big cat you're the first

guy to text me and be like dude i love that i'm like what is he talking about so i went and watched it all my boys are like man you got fucked up on that play yes i'm like dude this shit wasn't even me and i wasn't even talking to april on that i was talking to uh clee i want to say and it was a totally different play but it's like they fabricate the shit now i got all the twitter trolls.

Wait.

They mash it up.

They took your audio

from a different play and put it in on the play that Abram lit you up? So here's the thing. If you watch Abram, that's not even me getting lit up by Abram.
That's a wide receiver. Okay.
So they took a wide receiver getting lit up by Abram made it like a small clip and then zoomed into me talking about i think it was clee um on a completely different play and people are like grilling me like dude you got ran over by safety i'm like what is everybody talking about then i watched i'm like jesus man what the fuck they're doing deep fake damn damn that's tough well it's good that you came on because we can now clear it up that that was not what happened so you're you're having a personal boycott we watch every show religiously and i guess the big question is uh is john gruden like that all the time and by like that i mean totally fucking awesome yeah he's, he's a lot of fun around here in that sense.

And, I mean, he's funny, man.

Again, I haven't seen all the clips that he's got on there.

But in the meeting room, he says some stuff that is just fucking hilarious.

And I know they can't put it on there for various reasons.

But if it's what I think is being shown, he's definitely like that like that all the time yeah does he always kind of have one eye cock yes yes he kind of does he really kind of does oh i fucking love him i love him uh how early in uh in camp did he install spider 2 y banana uh about the first day and we've ran it probably 900 times he fucking loves so perfect um how's yeah how's your helmet fitting these days good question um my helmet fits great thanks for asking sure sure just wanted to make sure you know i you know you never know you never know these days you know it's good yeah sometimes you know if i take a hit i'll have to tighten the chin strap back up other than that my helmet's really thriving i i did wonder about

that though like how much of a pain in the ass is it as a receiver of sorts like that you have to change a helmet does that really mess up your field of vision or do you kind of adapt to it pretty quickly?

I think everybody's different.

For me, I've through um a variety of helmets since college i say variety probably like three or four and to be honest with you i i haven't noticed a difference visually at all but uh again that personal preference there i'm not a as long as it kind of feels good in my head, I really don't give a shit after that.

I've heard from a variety of people, not just the obvious,

that it's a big ordeal when you switch helmets.

But that's just kind of other than me.

What's it like to be around greatness in Nathan Peterman?

First off, dude, this guy is... I was going to actually call him him a goat, but I don't know if I want to go that far.
He's a good dude, man. He's a good dude.
He's a lot of fun. And I mean, you guys have seen the games.
He's played very well. He looks good in practice.
He's athletic. Again, I don't know what the hell happened in Buffalo.
I know that everybody kind of likes to make jokes about him on social media. But I think that Nathan Peterman, whether it's here or somewhere else this year, if he gets in, I think he's a rejuvenated, reinvented QB, man.
This guy, I've been very impressed by Nate so far. I've heard he's got great command of the huddle.
That's what Gruden loved about him coming out of college. He could get the play in and call it crisply.
To be honest with you, I feel like if you're a quarterback in the NFL and you don't have great command of the huddle, that's a major issue. Yeah, that's some good scouting.
I'm not saying Gruden's wrong, but it's like, dude, I would hope so. You know what I mean? He is the GOAT.
He's the goodest of all time. Has Nate ever said anything to you like, hey, man, I know it's the elephant in the room, but yeah, I threw five picks in the first half of that game.
Dude, he's never mentioned it. In fact, I don't even know if we've spoken about Buffalo, really.
Okay. All right.
Well, that's good. He's a new so you do man yeah this is totally fresh start yeah you always got to know like if he if it's something he brings up like hey i'm nate and yeah okay i know you're thinking it but that's good that he's moved on i would say so he's had a couple great preseason games rolling right now yeah yeah fourth quarter mr fourth quarter against the uh against the the Packers up in Canada.
By the way, how great was that? Did you get a hero's welcome going back up to Canada? I didn't. I did not.
I was really expecting one, but I did not get a hero's welcome. I was really let down, and then I played like fucking trash.
So it was just a combination of just a lot of negative things that happened. We were on an 80-yard field.
It was a shit show. It was a shit show to say the least.
You can spin zone that though. You can be like, I'm a tight end.
All I do is catch touchdowns. I do my work inside the 10-yard line.
They took that completely off the board. You had to play with the the end zone starting at the 10 was that weird when you got out on the field and you're like yeah this is this is very strange yeah it was more strange was you get this dilemma it we happened to us i think in the third or the early fourth where it's like the ball's on the 40 so it's a 57 goal, or you score your punter out there, but we need him to pooch one less than 30 yards.
So not really a punter's thing. So I made the suggestion not to our specialnings coach, to a few of the guys on the sideline, that if we get back in that situation, we should just have one of us punt it.
Yeah. Because it's like if I were to max out my punting, it probably would be somewhere between 25 to 30 yards.
Right. You wouldn't even have to take anything off it.
You could be the new slash, the new Cordell Stewart. Yes, that was what I said.
It's like this guy's not going to punt one 30 yards. He'd have to like, I don't know.
I mean, I'm not a punter, but I'm assuming that he would have to like shank it. And I don't know if you can control your shanks.
Kick it left footed. We can't kick a field goal at 57 yards.
Yeah. Huh.
Would you think it was cultural appropriation that Aaron Rodgers wore the Canadian tuxedo when he went up there for the game? Yeah. And the guy wore the shirt that had like the wrong, was it the wrong province or something? The wrong province.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you want to hear something a little messed up? That's our rookie punter, AJ.
And I saw that early on, and I'm like, oh, wow, dude. This guy's got no idea what he's wearing.
And I didn't say shit to him. I just absolutely sewered him, and I'm like, as soon as somebody sees this, it's going to, you know, I didn't know how big of a splash it would make, but I went on Twitter later when we got to Winnipeg, and I saw he was trending, and I'm like, dude, this is exactly why I didn't say shit.
Yes, yes. I mean, it's fucked up, but I did, I'll be honest with you.
So, yeah. When it comes to Aaron Rodgers, were you offended by that? No, I was offended.
I was the opposite. I was like, wow, what a legend.
He looks awesome. Yeah, because we're a pro Packers podcast now.
I don't know if you know that. We're a pro Raiders podcast.
I mean, what a – the guy showed up. I think he had a bolo tie on as well.
Yeah, he's a tryhard. We all know.
He's a tuxedo with a bolo. Yeah, he looked great.
He's a my last question. Put in promo code TAKE.
You get $10 off. Luke, I'm going to bring up something that's maybe a little touchy, but I have to do it, okay? Because we have to talk about this.
We got a game plan. If you were to get cut on Hard Knocks, what is our game plan? The way I see it, we have two options.
One, I would love to see someone just never show back up to the facility so they call you and you just don't show back up. That probably wouldn't be good for your future, so maybe we'll table that.
Two, what if we sent you a bunch of Pardon My Take stuff and you got cut with a Pardon My Take shirt on? That would be legendary. Ship it, man.
Okay. Ship it.
Done. Right now, and I'll stroll in there.
I've actually, in case that does happen, I do have a bit of a plan. Okay.
I really don't want to be like the veteran white guy that they're going to make some sob story around, like, oh, man, he got cut.

So I can't really tell the plan yet because I haven't finalized it, but I've really got to, like, me and Hard Knocks kind of have a battle going on right now, and I think I've got to get the last laugh with this one. Like, if they're expecting some tears and a lot of, like, sadness, I'm just not going to fucking give it to them, man.
I'm not going to do it. Or here's what you really do.

Because you're saying this right now, you go over the top tears and sadness, but it's all a joke because we're talking about it right now. So it was clearly you acting.
So anyone who's like, oh my God, Luke Wilson, we can then go back over the top and be like, you idiot. He planned this whole thing.
Yeah, we could definitely do that, but I think I need to pardon my pick gear because I will

gladly wear that in there. Yeah.
We'll get

that to you. Another move you could do is just

when you sit down, don't let them

have the satisfaction of cutting you

from the team. Heaven forbid, if this is what it

comes to, you sit down and you say, hey, I

just want to let you know I quit.

Yeah. So you quit before they cut you.

And then pull out a copy of Art of the Deal right in their face. Could you imagine they give me the card and I come with your iPad and your charger and I throw it and say, hey, I'm back as I quit.
Hey, just a heads up, I didn't really want to play on this football team anyway. Yeah, right before Mayock opens his mouth, you'd be like, hey, before you say anything, I'm out.
I just want to let you know that it's not you, it's me. See ya.
Dude, with my TOT. Yeah.
Yes, yes, yes. Perfect.
So, all right. So, obviously, we're hoping this doesn't happen.
I don't think it will happen. No, I think you're going to make the team.
Your hair is awesome. You're an awesome guy.
So it's like every team needs a glue guy and someone who's going to work on the punt team. But we will have this just in case where you just sob on national television in a Pardon My Take shirt.
Maybe a Larry shirt. I love it.
I love it, guys. I'm in.
One last question for you. Did you get to meet Guy Fieri? No.
Where was he at? He was at practice. See, this is why you need to watch Hard Knocks because he was watching practice.
I think it was week one, right? Yeah. Really? Yeah.
He was there. And then I think Gruden went over and brought him back and met some of the players' wives and stuff.
You weren't there for that? That one flew over my head. I was pretty fired up about Frank Caliendo.
Yeah. How was that? How was his Gruden impression live? Honestly, it's hilarious, man.
I mean, they didn't show all of it, but then at the end, Gruden was literally just naming guys, people that we all know. Hey, dude, Stephen A.
Smith. Hey, do this.
Hey, do this guy. It was like everyone was just insanely spot on.
Wait a second, Luke. I thought you didn't watch the show.
He didn't. How do you know what they didn't show? He didn't because he just said something they didn't show, but they did show.
They did show that? Yes. How do you know? No no he said they didn't show it i'm confused now he's assuming they didn't show it i did assume they didn't show it but you're saying they did show all that yes they did show all that how was that okay dude i made a couple i've read a couple false stories and narratives going on that they claim is too outside and all this stuff is okay yeah bullshit i love that you're trying to like intentionally dupe hbo cameras and they're just sitting there like god they probably like all these hbo guys are sitting in the cutting room floor be like all right what did luke wilson try to trick us with this week he thinks he's smarter than us oh you know what you should do if you said i tried to claim a rookie had an STD yesterday.
And he fought through it all through camp. And I actually got a text from one of the HBO people.
They're like, dude, we're all in the studio right now dying at your joke spoke chlamydia. But apparently that's not going to make it.
Damn. But I really just set this one off good.
It was somewhat believable.

I mean, if you do have to get that call from Mike Mayock

and you sit down with him, you could say,

I don't know if you're aware of this, Coach,

but the scene that they showed me getting lit up on in practice,

that wasn't actually me.

That's true.

That might have been the play that put them over the top on you.

Yeah, you know, it came down and it was like,

hey, man, we really want Luke here, but he got lit up on HBO Hard Knocks. Yes, yes, yes.
All right, Luke, well, thank you very much. We appreciate it.
We'll send you that stuff. Best of luck.
You're not going to get cut. You'll just get some free shirts.
Yeah, you know what? I mean, either way, I got a feeling I'll probably be on again, so the t-shirt will definitely make its way onto the show. I love it.
All right, Luke. We'll talk to you later, man.
Thanks so much. All right.
Appreciate it, guys. Thanks, buddy.
See you, man. Good luck.
We got to bring up. You don't want to talk about it.
But, yeah, the play. I knew it was coming.
Like, I prepared myself. You didn't prepare for the Russell Wilson.
It was outweaving. Because we're going to to get to that.
The play. The play.
Were you on the field? I was. I was.
Did you at any point be like, wait, what was the play? Let's do the other play with Marshawn. Okay.
Because that would have been a smart move by you. Or down there, Kirst makes a great, unbelievable catch.

Which was an absurd catch.

That was the one where I was watching at home alone,

and I was like, that's the helmet catch.

It's fucking happening again.

I can't believe it's happening again.

But I'm jogging along, going to the huddle.

I'm like, wow, that's the David Tyree catch right there.

Tyree, yeah, Reuben Randall.

And I'm like, what a win.

And I'm like, okay, let's finish this shit off.

Like, let's go.

So we called 19 forces to play.

And I'm like, oh, Luke, 19 forces kind of like relies on the tight end.

So I'm like, damn, like, I don't want to be that guy who fucks shit up.

I better make this block.

So I'm like, okay, dude, hopefully the linebacker like walks in the ball

because I don't really feel like blocking a DM.

So we get out there, and like last second, linebacker gets in the ball. I do a decent job, and I'm like, all right, we'll be good.
Marshawn, which is another thing that people don't talk about, he just gets clipped on the right angle of the play before, and he lands the half. At first, because I was like, oh, there's the TD, and I don't know who made the tackle.
Hightower. It was Hightower.
It was not like a clean, like, oh, I just laid him out. Marshawn doesn't get laid out.
It was like, clip his foot. Marshawn went down.
And I remember thinking to myself, like, oh, this is great, dude. We just gave Tom Brady less time.
Yeah, more time off the clock. I'm like, we're on the half-yard line.
Oh, man. This is unbelievable.
This is heartbreaking to hear. Yeah, this is tough.
So here I am in the huddle. And just to get a little sentimental, I'm like, you know what? And I'm not a guy.
I'm actually, I know it's kind of harder than that. You gave a pep talk? No, I'm a guy who's pretty focused.
At this point, I'm like, oh, we've won this shit, bro. This shit's over.
Oh, no. I'm like, not many people know this, but during the Super Bowl, if you win, you can get two people to come down the field.
Okay. So the year before, I had my mom and dad.
Dude, it was great. Yeah.
So I'm like, I bet my mom and dad are walking. I remember thinking this.
My mom and dad are walking down right now. You didn't say that, though.
In my head. Okay.
In your head, you said it. And then the next thought is, okay, dude, just make sure you don't go.
Don't false start. I mean, we won the Super Bowl, bro.
The game's over. Like.
Let's fucking go. We get in the huddle.
And I'm like, all right, we're going to call. I generally thought, I'm like, we're going to call 94 Buck.
And 94 Buck, I don't want to get an X's and O's, but it's basically a zone read. Your traditional college zone read.
Right. And we ran it a million times on the goal line.
A little RPO action. What's RPO? Run pass option.
Oh, yes. Yes.
No pass. I don't want to get two X's and O's with you.
Yes, you got me on that. You got me on that.
All right? But it's like, so we go, and I'm in the huddle. And he calls the formation.
I'm like, damn, we don't have a 94 buck out of that. We're definitely running 94 buck.
And then we motioned. So I'm like, oh, we have 94 buck out of...
No, we don't have 94 buck out of this. I'm like, what is this

play? And then we called a pass

and I was like, oh, shit.

I'm going to fucking catch the game when it's Super Bowl time.

Let's go!

Let's go!

How many thoughts did you have? A lot, dude.

And

I got up to the line. I was like,

so there's a zone side and a man side?

Right. And I was on the zone side.

So I'm like, come on, run zone

Thank you. And I got to the line.
I was like, so there's a zone side and a man side. Right.
And I was on the zone side. So I'm like, come on, run zone, run zone, run zone, and I'm getting this ball.
They're running man coverage. And I was like, oh, fuck.
I'm not getting this shit. We'll be all right.
Like, we ran this play a bunch of times. And then I ran it, and I had a corner on the back side, so I didn't see it.
I heard everybody yelling, and as weird as it sounds, I could hear guys celebrating that weren't my teammates. And I turned around and I was like, and it was probably the worst moment of my life.
I believe it. What could be worse than that? Having an amazing victory in your hands? The locker room afterwards.
Betting on the Seahawks. But at the time, it was the worst moment of my life.
Yeah. Yeah, it sucked.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let's get to some segments.
First up, we have an uh, you think, with Rob Gronkowski. So Rob Gronkowski, retired tight end, future Hall of Famer, is now repping a CBD company.
Uh, you think? No doy. This was, I mean, it was either this or Monster Energy.
Why not both, actually? You know how, like, the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones have a dancing guy? He has Monster. Okay, good.
He could have just been the dancing guy for Imagine Dragons. Yes.
That would have been a perfect fit for him. Hey, remember Left Dolphin? Left Shark.
Left Shark, sorry. Yeah.
Just put Rob in the... Damn, that guy was electric.
Jay-Z, I know you're a listener. Put Gronk in the Super Bowl halftime show.
No, he's not a listener. He listens to Matthew Barry's podcast.
Okay, that's right. Yeah.
Matthew Barry, you're a listener. You tell Jay-Z.
Text him. Because you have his number.
Text Jay-Z. You tell people that.
And let him know that he needs to be in the halftime show. Yeah, it's an obvious kind of transition for Gronk to go from being a tight end into launching a line of CBD products.
Like this is, I remember I gave you the idea a couple years ago for Brotein. Gronk could be the first product ambassador for Brotein,

and what that would be would be basically an alcoholic energy drink that also has CBD and protein in it.

So basically it's like kombucha for bros.

Yeah, just a little bit of vodka.

Obviously I left that part out.

Maybe green alcohol.

So it's like 8% alcohol.

It's got enough, like a monster energy level. He's probably experimented with his concoction on his own.
Maybe a little nicotine. Yeah, maybe a little nicotine.
Just a little buzz. It's more like it's soylent for bros.
It's an entire day's worth of every single nutrient, stimulant, and depressant that you need all concocted into one little thing. And it's actually not even a drink.
It's just an IV. Yeah, just shoot it up.
You mainline it. it so you just walk around with a big bag you can freebase yeah you do it yeah my only concern for gronk is that with cbd it's anti-inflammatory yeah so it's harder to get swole so gronk is gonna maybe the pythons are gonna get a little bit lighter he was actually talking about uh the injuries he went through and this actually goes back to like the andrew luck stuff where andrew Luck's press conference was emotional and all that but he I wish he had just said yo I can't like I won't be able to lift my arm in three years because Gronk essentially said he said that he was crying after a Super Bowl win because he was in so much pain it's so much fluid in his thigh he was pissing blood which not to call a man card but Gronk that's really not a big deal a lot of Everyone does it.
But seriously, to hear him say it, which not to call a man card, but Gronk, that's really not a big deal.

A lot of people does it.

But seriously, to hear him say it, to hear Gronk say it, the guy who is full of life, a big Labrador, loves football, all these things,

and be like, yeah, I was in so much pain that I was crying after I won a Super Bowl.

It is a little sobering.

Yeah, they said that they drained a liter of blood out of his leg.

And the hit that he took didn't look that bad.

I mean, it looked kind of like a Charlie horse.

But, yeah, he said that he couldn't sleep for a couple days after the game.

Maybe he was just too hyped.

Yeah.

He looked like he was having a good time after the Super Bowl.

He also left it very wide open to come back.

Because he said physically he could do it, but mentally he doesn't know if he can do it.

But maybe he'll fall back in love with football.

He'll be back.

Have you seen the Patriots' tight ends?

Yeah.

He'll be back.

I would say he probably will be back because he'll do the thing where he can basically play the important games in December and January and have fun and not have to deal with all the bullshit. He's also a workout freak where it's like it's not like Chris Long, like Chris Long stop.
No, this is not. Chris Long doesn't smoke CBD Chris Long is actually looking kind of skinny.
Exactly. I'm saying when Chris Long retired, all of a sudden his body changed and he could not come back tomorrow and play defensive line.
Damn. Gronk, because of the way.
Went to reverse puberty. Is always working out.
He's still working out. He looks skinny, though.
But he's still in shape. When he wants to come back, he'll be ready for a comeback.
Yeah, he strikes me as a guy that he puts in two weeks in the gym. Big-time shot at Chris Long.
Two weeks in the gym, and Gronk will be ready again. I'm confident in that.
Hank's new thing is he just takes a shot at all our friends. That's fine.
Oh, he versus Koepka sucks. Chris Long sucks.
Never said that. All these guys stink.
Never said any of that. If, heaven forbid, Luke Wilson gets cut, he should go to the Patriots.
Because they need a tight end a tight end right Yes He can be their bridge to Rob Gronkowski I don't think the Belichick system would work too well with I think he'd be Now you're taking a shot at the guy Damn it He's literally a guest on today's show Hank hates everybody that we like If he did that interview It would not go over well He won't do it on the Patriots He would definitely So come on on. Yeah.
Who's on the Patriots? Just our friend, Luke, our friend, Luke from Foxborough. You guys are turning into like fake news where it's like, I can't even just give my honest opinions without like getting, like it's, I'm sorry.
Okay. Just my thoughts.
All right, whatever. It's just my thoughts.
All right. Next up, we have thoughts and prayers for big Ben.
Wait, I had one last question about CBD. Cause I'm not a drug guy is CBD, is that the female version of the plant or the male version? I don't know.
It's the sativa. So it's the female version.
So that's why Rob likes it. Oh, he loves it.
He likes to grind on it. Yes, he's all about it.
That makes sense. Okay, that's what I thought.
Thoughts and prayers, Big Ben. So Antonio Brown said he was never friends with Big Ben.
And I don't know. This actually could be an oh, you think? Yeah, it could be.
But that's the meanest thing that you can say to a guy is like, actually, we were never friends. Really, though? Yeah.
It's like saying when I was catching all those passes from you, I was thinking about Tom Brady. I have a feeling.
I have a feeling Big Ben has had that said to him more than a few times. I was faking all my celebrations.
Yeah. Actually, Big Ben, you're kind of a dickhead.
Yeah. Well, that's not the first.
That didn't take Big Ben by total surprise. Saying that you're a dickhead is much nicer than telling Big Ben that we were never friends when Ben, because Ben is not smart.
So he thinks that he has like his circle. Like that was if Ben is Forrest Gump, then Antonio Brown was his bubba.
They were never. Big Ben strikes me as the guy who's best friends with the backup center and the punter.
Maybe one of the training guys because he spends so much time in there. No one on the team who contributes to the team is buddy-buddy with Big Ben.
I don't know. It's sad because they don't make a walking boot for your heart, and I just feel absolutely destroyed for Ben on this one.
But I don't even think it will register. He has emotions.
He's a man. No, I don't know.
If you cut him, does he not bleed? No, I actually don't think so. If you lightly step on his foot – It's like a molasses that comes out.
Does he not pretend that his entire ankle has been ripped off? Does he not pretend that he can't walk for the rest of the season, even though he'll definitely play and throw 50 times on Sunday? If Big Ben – he should get into CBD because maybe that would take away some of the swelling in his face. He definitely would be like, I don't like to get high.
I got high once and I had to call a cop because I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest. Big Ben's got a hot anxiety guy.
He's a basic. He's a basic bitch.
He's just like, oh my God, I ate these brownies and I thought I was having a panic attack. He strikes me as a guy that tries to fix everything just by swallowing Alka Seltzer Tab's hole.
And he just starts his stomach just foams out of his throat. He's like a seagull.
His stomach just blows up. I'm having a stroke.
I'm having a seizure. Oh no.
What are you going to say, Hank? You're going to say you like Big Ben? You love Big Ben. No, I was going to say the Alka Seltzer thing.
Sounds like something you guys would do. What.
What, to swallow Alka-Seltzer? Yeah, as a joke. Yeah.
As a hilarious joke that makes me friends. And it might work, too.
But that wouldn't be part of the joke. It would just be a positive side effect of the joke.
Yep. Right.
All right, let's do PMT Sports Biz Minute. Jake was actually, if you don't follow Jake on Twitter, PMT Sports Biz, he was at the U.S.
Open, and he did a great job. Can we just call it the Open? Can we cut the ball? We're going to get to that.
We're going to get to talking tennis. So let's do the PMT Sports Biz Minute.
Good morning. This is Jake Harsh with the PMT Sports Biz Minute.
The 2019 U.S. Open is in full swing over in Queens.
Approximately 95,000 tennis balls are needed each year for this tournament. And the built-in process for these spheres of rubber and felt is no joke.
You might only be familiar with the optic yellow tennis balls throughout the sport. But prior to 1972, bowls were either black or white.
This change was made to benefit television viewers, and safe to say, it has worked. Alright, we We had our little appetizer.
Shout out to Gator Nation for getting the job done. But now things are getting real.
Five straight days of college football. That's 83 FPS games ranging from tomorrow night all the way to Labor Day night on Monday.
Say each game takes three and a half hours. That's approximately 290 hours of football.
What

a time. That's your

BMT Sports Biz Minute, Mr.

Cap, Mr. Commenter.
Back to you.

Thanks, Jake. That was very cool.
Great content,

Jake. He also cucked Ravel today

and that was awesome. Big time.
He broke the

Misen and Main scoop from Leighton

Vander Esch, the Wolf Hunter.

Broke that scoop about a minute and 30 seconds before Ravel tweeted it out. Which is an eternity in the sports game.
It is a full life. In the content game, that content belongs to you, Jay.
That is not Ravel's content anymore. 100%.
He was too busy talking about Rory McIlroy's nipples. Well, nobody else was, to be fair.
I will admit when Ravel gets it right, and when he tweeted out that not enough people are talking about rory mcelroy's nipples he fucking nailed it i mean you got to take your head off to the guy not enough people were all right so speaking of tennis talking tennis the u.s open is here and uh oh i people keep being like you're gonna go to the open no yeah you couldn're calling it the Open, by the way. And I love, I am day one A1 Djokovic guy, but I still couldn't be paid to go to the Open.
I'm a Federer guy, up and down, through and through. It's also very funny watching, I almost kicked that thing over.
It's also funny watching the Instagrams from the U.S. Open, because I feel like it's so American for everyone to go to the U.S.
Open and be like, look at this. Tennis.
Culture. We're almost like Wimbledon.
But then you see them and they're playing on a fucking driveway pavement. It's like a neon court.
Yeah. It sucks.
I do like that. Give me some grass.
Give me some culture. Have everyone eat some strawberries and creams and the Queen's corpse show up.
That's right. I like the outfits, though, at the U.S.
Open because they're all wearing the high-vis shit usually.

So it looks like somebody went to Wimbledon

and just got handed a construction job right outside.

They've got the bright orange, the bright yellows.

You're dunking your chicken tenders into Coke outside.

That's one of the traditional dishes, right?

It's like the Wimbledon remix with Lil Jon.

That's what the U.S. Open is for America.

Yeah, Ja Rule presents the U.S. Open.
You want culture? We got it. That was a good one.
Last up, let's do some guys on chicks. Hank.
Bubba. Bubba? Oh yeah.
Bubba woke up this morning and he's got this gravelly deep voice, this baritone. He sounds like Barry Weiss.
He just lost his voice. Barry White.
What did you do? Barry Weiss, definitely a different person. Different.
I'm not even sick. That's really? That's your real voice? Yeah.
That's a fake voice. I've been talking, like, the whole day.
You do sound like Barry Weiss. That's a fake voice.
You just woke up like that. Yeah.
And are you sick? you sick no does overdose of white claws mean you're

sick truly's truly sorry truly's bleep that out no uh did you overdose on truly's this weekend no do you smoke some some real cigarettes or just jewels no you're sick dude maybe you should All right.

Hi, PMT boys.

Especially the hilarious, vicarious, sextarius, Aquarius boys. I'm a Virgo, not to brag.
Can you explain what cuffing season is and why does it happen every fall? Cuffing season happens now because it's drive sober or get pulled over. So they will lock you up.
I'm pretty sure it's just uh hipsters wait no cuffing season is when you get a girlfriend or boyfriend right i was gonna say the pants i thought it was the pants it could be i thought the you know when people just fucking cuff their pants yeah you're talking about south by southwest yeah that's no one in williamsburg in general like you walk around with cuffed pants. I also think October, November is more cuffing season.

Cuffing season coincides with when bears start to load up food before hibernation.

It's the same process.

Why are you looking at me?

Same process.

Yeah, when they start to eat the salmon?

Yeah, it's like the winter's coming.

People don't forget?

Yeah, I mean, I've been proven right.

Many people.

So what?

It's just like you've got to find a boo for the winter?

I think it's like you are going to go home and visit your parents at some point.

And so you need to prove to them you're not a total loser and you're capable of procreation. Yeah.
So you're like, hey, I found one. Cuffed one.
Got one. Tricked her.
Literally handcuffed her. She doesn't know all my bad habits yet.
Don't do that. Do most guys like it when girls genuinely like football? My boyfriend says it's intimidating but nice that on Sundays and Saturdays I can take beers to the face and watch SEC and NFL football respectively.
Let me hear your thoughts. Yeah, it's cool.
It's absolutely cool. I think we have a lot of female listeners that do like football.
They love football. And yeah, it's cool but just do us a favor and when we're wrong about something don't correct us in front of people yeah don't ever say you got a bet right that your boyfriend got wrong or talk about your fantasy team being better than his because we have very small fragile egos and they can be crushed at even the slightest comment about your football prowess over your significant other.
Absolutely. Yeah.
Pretty laughing. Try not.
Wait. Try your best to not sound.
I am. I'm talking.
There's another astrology one. Fuck you.
What's up, boys? My birthday is in late June, so my zodiac sign is cancer okay but it has the 69 symbol nice can you tell me what the rest of my year looks like based on this thanks in advance all right so you were born in late june you like 69 jokes i think you're about to get cuffed By the way, the astrology stuff, I'm not into it, but I think at some point in my life, I will. It's one of those things I've had on my to-do list.
You know what I mean? You've got to believe in something. See Jurassic Park, become a weirdo who does astrology and lights random scented candles.
You need to read a horoscope that slaps. Right, yeah.
And then you'll be like,, Oh, right. It's one of those things that I don't do it now, but I know it was actually almost like game of Thrones where I was like, I don't watch it, but I will watch it.
And I'm sure I'll like it someday. I'm going to wake up and just be spitting hot fire astrology signs and like being fully believing, like being like PFT, that, that color does not go with, what are we, Aquarius? We're Mercury's in retrograde.
Yeah, that color does not go with the Aquarius heart, and you need to switch up your swing away. Yeah, all that shit.
I'm such a gullible piece of shit when it comes to that stuff. I will absolutely, I just got to read the right one, you're right, Hank, and I'm in.
You know what I thought about doing this year is using astrology to gamble. That works.
So I might just read my – do you read your own chart? Or do you like read your horoscope every day? I don't know. Maybe I'll just – Read the chart of the quarterback playing.
I'll read my horoscope. Here's what I'll do.
I'll read the charts of the two starting quarterbacks in a game in the NFL season. And then I'll use that to determine who I'm betting on.
Yes. And then if that works for me one time, I'm an astrology guy for life.
You call it a system. For life.
I've got a system. It's called the stars.
Put it on an Excel sheet. Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Ever heard of him? Go tout. PFT's astrology picks, $49.99 a month.
The stars don't lie. Guaranteed winners.
Hey, PMT, especially PFT. If you are marrying a guy guy but hook up with a female stripper during a bachelor party does it count as cheating asking for a friend if you're marrying a guy and you hook up with a female stripper during a bachelorette party does that count as cheating I'm free love I don't think anything counts as cheating I say just like holes are all around us.
Yeah, I think you probably just like casually say it right before you're getting married. Be like, you know, like maybe at the rehearsal dinner, just a quick toast.
Be like, hey, thanks for everyone coming out. Thanks even to my future husband who got over the fact that I fucked a chick on my bachelorette party.
And see what he because guess what he will not have the balls to call it off at that point also if you just kind of insinuate that maybe one day you might be into hooking up with a stripper and him at the same time yeah you don't actually have to ever do this but if you just leave that door open a little bit he'll be more than fine with it um it's that or you can say, hey, I got to talk to you. This is serious stuff.
I stepped out of the bounds of our relationship last weekend, and I'm really sorry for it. And then when he gets upset, then you toss in the fact that it was a girl.
And then he's like, oh, okay, good. And yeah, having sex with a stripper on your bachelor or bachelorette party definitely means you're ready for marriage.
Yep. You're ready to go.
Got it out of your system. This one is like based on the means.
I don't know if you guys are going to get it. Dude, we don't.
It's going on, boys. Hot Girl Summer was a lot of work.
How soon is too soon to jump into Christian Girl Fall? Will people see right past my riding boots and plaid scarves? Or is it not too late to repent the sins of the summer? Are guys even into that? All right, first thing is it's Christian Girl Autumn, not Christian Girl Fall. So let's get that straight.
I say as soon as college football kicks off in your hometown, it's Christian Girl Autumn. I would say the first SEC game, which is Georgia Vanderbilt.
Perfect. So, boom.
That is an ultimate Christian Girl Autumn game. Yes, the Nashville girls will be leading the charge.
It's time for cowboy boots and dresses to make the comeback. Big hats.
You know how they say, like, that guy's all hat, no cattle? You see, like, a girl in boots, that girl's all boots, no Bible. Yes.
That's what some people say. Scarves and big boots and flannels, PSLs.

Yeah.

Looking down on other people.

Just do it all.

Yeah.

Judging people on Twitter because they can't buy fancy clothes, calling them poor.

Do it all.

Doing a fundraiser for your rich friends, kids.

Yeah.

Doing a fundraiser for your sorority.

Yeah.

That's do it.

All right. Last one.
No, please do please do more no i don't want to how do i deal with my boyfriend's fantasy football gambling addiction each year we keep losing more and more money and he won't listen to me when i tell him to stop betting because he always thinks he'll win it back yeah well he will because if you make him quit then all that he lost is lost forever. That's true.
He's not down yet. You're only down when you die.
Correct. Correct.
I would say be supportive of him. And maybe, actually, it's your job as a significant other to find him winners.
That's a good point. So if it's really a problem, why don't you fucking put your hard hat on hard hat on get that excel spreadsheet out crunch some numbers maybe a little yards per fucking uh per per possession get that going i was a big yards per per possession guy in like 2011 i had a spreadsheet that i thought figured it all out i'm a dvoa guy yeah but do that help out the team yeah you're sitting on the sidelines get in the fucking game yeah.
Yeah, here's the thing. It's a partnership if you're in a relationship, and that means gambling included.
So maybe you start studying astrology, and maybe you come up with your own system through the stars like I'm about to and make a shitload of money. Get a joint bank account, and then you can see how much he loses.
Well, a great thing to do would be for you to start betting, and if you lose just as much money as he is, then he'll be like, hey, we need to cut back on this together. It's like going on a diet together.
Yeah, that's what you do. So you need to start gambling just as heavily as he is, and that way he can see the error in his ways.
Because, guys, we are not very good at introspective activities, but when we see somebody else screwing up, then at that point we can see the error in our ways so give that a shot yeah all right that's our show uh friday we are going to have a little college football preview with our friends tom franelli and andy staples so we'll get some winners for you we'll get some preview for you we'll do it all um also we might have a commercial right yeah we're gonna put that commercial in let's just tease it yeah well there'll be a commercial. It's a commercial.
We'll do it all. Also, we might have a commercial, right? Yeah, we're going to put that commercial in.

Let's just tease it.

Yeah, there'll be a commercial.

It's a commercial we've been talking about.

No, it's a video, but also a commercial in this.

We're going to do it both.

Love you guys.

Got it.

Yeah.

Dude, we're just trying to get people.

It's clickbait.

It's fucking clickbait.

Now you get people to fucking watch and listen, and they're like, holy shit.

Oh, so it's not going to be in on Friday show.

Only the moods can watch.

Well,

you won't know unless you listen to Friday show.

Love you guys. Thank you.
I'm all I want to say I've said anyway

Today's my day to follow you

I'll be coming for your love of cream Thank you. Thank you.
You are the things I've come to remember. I'll be coming for you anyway.
Thank you. We're going to get right back to the show.

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All right, back to part of my take.