Andrew Luck Retires, Rams' Andrew Whitworth And Mount Rushmore Of Guests We Want On The Show

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, Andrew Luck has retired.

Speaker 1 We also have Hall of Famer, future Hall of Famer Andrew Whitworth from the Los Angeles Rams, Mount Rushmore of guests we would love to have on the show,

Speaker 1 and Andrew Luck has retired. That's the big news.
So we'll talk all about that.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

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Speaker 1 Pudineshka. Today is Monday, August 26th.

Speaker 1 Anything big happened this weekend? Any future Hall of Famers retire in the prime of their career? The biggest story, maybe, in the history of sports happened on Saturday night.

Speaker 1 That's the big debate going on right now because we are kind of like we're prisoners of the moment because we all are online all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so we can react to everything, which makes sports a lot more fun to watch and to follow. But when Andrew Luck retired.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you were talking about Felipe Franks still being a fucking quarterback. He still stinks.

Speaker 1 He still stinks. But when Andrew Luck retired, the discourse shifted almost immediately from like, oh, holy shit, Andrew Luck's retiring to is this the craziest sports story to ever break? Yes.

Speaker 1 And while it was like a little bit shocking, I was not ready for it emotionally. And I had maybe drafted Andrew Luck in three out of my five fantasy leagues.

Speaker 1 It is, it's pretty fucking shocking that he just decided to quit at that time. And the way that Schefter reported it.

Speaker 1 That whole thing, the story behind the story, I think there's still a lot that we have to learn about that. So, well, someone leaked it, and then Schefter had the balls.

Speaker 1 So, Schefter dropped the bomb, and then from everything that's been written about Andrew Luck, his plan was to tell his teammates after the game, the preseason game against the Bears, do a press conference on Sunday talking to the press.

Speaker 1 Instead, Schefter dropped it in the middle of the third quarter of the game, and Andrew Luck then left the field at the after the game to booze, which we'll get to that.

Speaker 1 And Schefter had the balls to tweet out.

Speaker 1 Andrew Luck said he expected to tell his teammates that he was retiring someday before his timeline got moved up now shefter did his job but dude you are the reason why the timeline got moved up you announced it and basically blew up andrew luck's entire plan of telling his teammates first right and then telling the media so it was shocking it was crazy the reactions uh like we said the booze i think everyone was like you know that was that was probably not right and you know what i bet you everyone who booed like when you take them out of the moment like yeah you know what i was feeling feeling feeling shitty.

Speaker 1 Our franchise quarterback just retired at age 29. I'd probably take a mulligan on that.
I'd probably like that back. So

Speaker 1 I don't know which direction you want to go with it.

Speaker 1 I laugh so much about the internet, like the free points that were given out for everyone to fight the straw men being like, Andrew Luck has the right to choose whatever he wants to choose.

Speaker 1 All you fans bitching and moaning. Where were the fans bitching and moaning? A lot of people thought it was weird.
The ones at the stadium, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that was like what they were picking out was like the booze as he was walking off the field. And then you had, you can go to like

Speaker 1 you can go to your three kings of sports takes and check those out. Like Doug Gottlieb, I think Mad Doug Russo said something.
And then, man, I went straight to Danny Connell. Fuck Danny Connell.

Speaker 1 Fuck Danny Connell for getting soft. Danny's libbing out on us.
That's a problem.

Speaker 1 I think he's a frontrunner for Lib of the Year next year. Smoking weed.
No, but it was basically in Dockach as well.

Speaker 1 And Gottlieb got completely roasted and then tried to claim sarcasm, which it wasn't. And he got ratioed to the moon.
His exact tweet.

Speaker 1 By the way, Doug Gottlieb, you know a guy doesn't know how to use Twitter when he says retiring because rehabbing is quote-unquote too hard is the most millennial thing ever. Hashtag Andrew Luck.

Speaker 1 Just making sure that everyone knew that he was talking about Andrew Luck in the moment. Anyone searching for Andrew Luck on Twitter in that moment can get their take straight from Doug.

Speaker 1 But my bigger point is that I really don't, I think there were a lot of people who are just getting free internet points by claiming Andrew Luck has the right to do whatever he wants, which he does.

Speaker 1 I actually think that this, like when you hear him talk about the cycle of rehab and how he hasn't been right for a very long time, and Ryan Grigson should basically go to, like, he should be charged with war crimes.

Speaker 1 What do you think? Just put him in, and set him down to Cuba. Andrew Luck's first four years in the NFL, he got hit more than any other quarterback.

Speaker 1 They didn't have an offensive line protecting a franchise quarterback. So I get where Andrew Luck's coming from.
I just don't understand why it has to be all or nothing.

Speaker 1 I think Colts fans, I'm going to speak up for Colts fans for a second. They have, I think it's totally fair for Colts fans to be like, you know what, this fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, so I think that the big problem that the Colts fans would be entitled to have is the fact that this is two out of the last three seasons that Jim Ursay has basically told them we've got Andrew Luck going into this year, and then they don't.

Speaker 1 That brings up a whole other can of worms. Which is what I think Dockich's big point was.

Speaker 1 Well, that's not what he tweeted out on

Speaker 1 Saturday, but that's what he's tried to

Speaker 1 cover it up with. But yeah, I think that Ursae, in the fact that he's paying Andrew Luck $25 million,

Speaker 1 that's hush money right there.

Speaker 1 I don't know what Andrew Luck knows. He knows a lot of shit about a lot of shit.
Well, and he knows a lot of stuff about Jim Ursa. There's a reason why Jim Ursai was rolling around in his...

Speaker 1 What was it, his Mercedes-Benz with $30,000 in cash in a bag? That was hush money for Jim Sorgi.

Speaker 1 I think Andrew Luck, I think Jim Ursai is hoping that Andrew Luck, after a year of being, you know, getting away from the game, maybe getting healthy, is going to say, hey, I really miss football and I want to come back.

Speaker 1 So that was, to me, a play by the Colts. And you have to take that risk.
Like, hey, if Andrew Luck decides he wants to play again, we want him to be like, I'm playing for the Colts no matter what.

Speaker 1 Even though he's under contract and it would have been a whole thing. He's going to the XFL.
But

Speaker 1 he could have been like, I don't want to play for the Colts, but I want to come back. This now makes it, if he ever does want to come back, it's going going to be for the Colts.

Speaker 1 But the Jim Ursa is, I mean, he's just such a weird character in this whole thing because I'm pretty sure he's the one who leaked it to Adam Schaefer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Ursai's like he's always kind of tripping a little bit on some weird asset that he's done in the past.

Speaker 1 So when he found out that Andrew Luck was going to retire, he was probably like, man, I can't be dishonest to my friend Adam. I need to give him a call.
And he like hits him up, maybe butt dials him.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know how Adam Schaefer gets.
Maybe

Speaker 1 the Patriots have the Colts' facilities bugged.

Speaker 1 That's when, okay, now it's all coming together. McDaniels goes to Indianapolis, interviews to be their head coach, sticks a bug under the table.
Now he's got all the info coming out of Indy.

Speaker 1 They call Schefter. Schefter reports it before Luck's ready.
Oh, okay, so they got him that way. Yes.
But keep the bug there, and they'll never find the bug, or they would never find the bug.

Speaker 5 People in the organization didn't know until yesterday either.

Speaker 1 Well, so it's the timeline doesn't really make sense because they said that he's been mulling this for a few weeks now, and almost it sounds like he kind of had his decision made a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 1 Um, I again, I actually think Andrew Luck, like the way he describes it, and there's been rumors that he has arthritis in his shoulder.

Speaker 1 And if he kept on playing, he wouldn't be able to like basically use his shoulder. And he's a smart guy, made a lot of money, obviously, has a lot of hobbies outside of football.

Speaker 1 And so it makes sense for him. I just, I'm more speaking from a fan perspective.
Everyone jumps in saying, Andrew Luck, like you, you, Andrew Luck doesn't owe you anything. And that's true.

Speaker 1 But I still think Colts fans can be like, you know what? This fucking sucks. Yeah, but they've got Schwag Kelly ready to step up at a moment's notice.

Speaker 1 The other thing that I was thinking about was, you know, when we always laugh about the

Speaker 1 Combine interviews and the Josh Rosen, like, is this player too smart? Yes,

Speaker 1 it absolutely is a real question. Everyone mocks it, including ourselves, but everyone, you know,

Speaker 1 the blue checkmark brigade usually mocks it like, oh, you can't have interest out of football. Well, this is actually a perfect case where Andrew Luck is a very smart guy.

Speaker 1 He has a ton of interests outside of football. I think he loved football.
I think the injuries made him fall out of love with football because he's like, you know what? There's more to life than this.

Speaker 1 And it proves, yet again, the NFL wants in the guys they draft, they want robots. They want guys who are going to do anything for the team, no matter what.

Speaker 1 They don't want guys who have a mind of their own. And so that's why you hear the reports before a draft being like, this guy's too smart.
And that's actually a thing. Right.
I'll put it this way.

Speaker 1 Ben Rothlessberger is never in danger of thinking about anything besides how he's going to extend this play. Right.

Speaker 1 Like that's, he's, he's like a dog that gets fixated on a bone, and that bone is football.

Speaker 1 Ben Rothlessberger's body is falling apart, and the only reason he would retire is because he hates

Speaker 1 who's his name? Todd. Todd Haley.
Todd Haley.

Speaker 1 He retired to spite Todd Haley. Not because his body's falling apart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if Ben Rothlessberger's nipples fell off before a game, he'd just be like, oh, well, I got to go out there and sling it and see if I can't gut this one out 17 to 14. Like, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 There is an element of like, yes, Andrew Luck, he is not too smart to play football, but in a way, it's like you can't trick him into playing football any longer than he has to. Right.

Speaker 1 And you love, I love from like a take it outside of football, you love someone who has the wherewithal to be like, hey, you know what? Football's not everything. Sports aren't everything.

Speaker 1 I want my health more than anything else. That's a great move for Andrew Luck because there's a lot of guys who you see

Speaker 1 hang around for way too long and their bodies deteriorate.

Speaker 1 But next time that happens in the combine, in the draft process, and everyone mocks the guy who's too smart, this is why teams look at it this way. And

Speaker 1 you might not agree with it, but they're saying we're going to make an investment.

Speaker 1 We don't want someone who is going to think for themselves and be like, hey, my health is more important than football.

Speaker 1 As crazy as that sounds, because that's actually the way you should think, but not the way NFL teams want their players to think. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And it also, it's total vindication for Dan Snyder for not drafting Andrew Luck, for giving up just to take RG3.

Speaker 1 And the only two words that are sweeter in the English language than mock draft, you know what they are?

Speaker 1 What? Redraft. Redraft.
So now we're going to have to go back and redraft to 2012. They still take Andrew Luck.
Now it's right after their six-year bump. So keep that in mind if they're quarterback.

Speaker 1 Trent Richardson, he's still

Speaker 1 future Hall of Famer. He'll be back for Andrew Luck.
He was AAF MVP. Yeah.
He won an MVP.

Speaker 1 Brandon Whedon. Yep.
Still slanging it. Luke Keekly.
Keekly.

Speaker 1 I mean, Keekly's like the other end of the spectrum when it comes to guys being like, hey, maybe my health should be more important than Luke Keekly's.

Speaker 1 Luke Keekly put his body on the line every single week. He's had a million concussions.
And that's not a knock on Andrew Luck.

Speaker 1 Some guys will just go through hell and their life will be miserable to play on Sundays. Andrew Luck was like, hey, I just got married.
I have a life. I don't want to do this.

Speaker 1 Well, then he also says that he almost got divorced. He said, like, oh, yeah, Hank's got his marriage.
Let's hear Hank's. Yeah, let's go, Hank.

Speaker 5 This isn't much of a, this isn't a theory per se, but he said that the year off that he had rehabbing helped save his marriage. And otherwise, without that year, he probably wouldn't be married.

Speaker 5 So it leads the question to believe, like, maybe that marriage being reconciled was part of the reason that he, like,

Speaker 1 does Andrew care more about his wife than football? I'd boom, too. That's a bad thing, Andrew.
Yeah. Oh, you're in love? Cool.
It's just so the whole thing is shocking. It really is.
And it's.

Speaker 1 Jesus never got married. Nope.
It turned out fine. He lasted until he was 33.
Let me throw it.

Speaker 1 Another harebrain theory because we're doing the sex ruined Andrew Luck. How much do you put into the fact that he was rapidly balding?

Speaker 1 And he was like, I don't want to be in the spotlight when I get bald. He saw Blake Bortles show.

Speaker 5 I don't think Andrew Luck has ever been concerned about his appearance.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 I noticed it even more, more pronounced than usual he was overcompensating with the neckbeard.

Speaker 1 Yes, man, thoughts and prayers seriously thoughts and prayers to the shitty general Andrew Luck Twitter account.

Speaker 1 Yes, and what I realized over the weekend is there's an entire ecosystem of Civil War general quarterback Twitter accounts out there. There's like a there's like a corporal Pat Mahomes.

Speaker 1 People really like that Twitter account has that and it's stolen. They stole the entire fucking bit too.

Speaker 1 And then when the lights were the brightest on the Civil War Andrew Luck Twitter account, he laid a fucking egg.

Speaker 1 First of all, it it took him like 14 hours to come up with a 190 character tweet. Fuck you.
Like I could have written that tweet in like five minutes. Yeah.
And you know his phone was blowing up too.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh my God, he's like sweating his ass off. I gotta have,

Speaker 1 this is my opus. It is your moment.

Speaker 1 I need to really respond. And then he was just like, oh, dearest Martha, I'm retiring and I'm going back to the farm.
Sucks. Yeah, fuck you.

Speaker 1 He should have been killed in action. It does suck, though, from an NFL fan perspective, too, because Andrew Luck is fun to watch and he's fun to do his goofy thing where he says good hit to everyone.

Speaker 1 Do you think he regrets that?

Speaker 1 All the guys that like fucked up his injury, you know, like made him injured over the years and made him basically took the love of football out of his body. And he was like, good job, big boy.

Speaker 1 Do you think he called up Shafter and was like, hey, Andrew, that's a great scoop he had. Yeah, I got so.

Speaker 1 Good scoop, big boy. That was an awesome scoop.
I mean, I am going to miss him. I'm going to miss him.
I am too. What do you think his next step is? Because I think maybe he's an architect.
I say XFL.

Speaker 5 He's like a teacher. No, he's going to become like a third.

Speaker 1 XF teacher. He's like a big-time architecture.
He's going to ride his bike to school. Andrew Luck's going to to build a huge building that we know about.
Well, I think he loves architecture.

Speaker 1 In Africa.

Speaker 1 But he's not like an architect. Yeah, but I think he might go.

Speaker 1 There will be a story in Sports Illustrated. Well, no, Sports Illustrated won't be around.
There'll be a story in whatever magazine. Bleacher Report hologram.

Speaker 1 Bleacher Report slideshow that says Andrew Luck.

Speaker 1 Look at Andrew Luck. He's back at Stanford getting his architecture.
I think he's going to move.

Speaker 1 He's going to move to Europe.

Speaker 5 He's going to have a bunch of sex and have some kids.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.
Nice. All right.
So he's going to fuck. Oh, by the way, here's the other thing I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 On Andrew Luck's to-do list now that he's retired is fuck Bill and then make building in Africa slash Europe. Okay.
How pissed do you think Jim Harbaugh is? Oh, very mad. I thought.

Speaker 1 He's so mad right now.

Speaker 1 He was disgusted when he saw this news. Yeah, he probably wasn't too excited about that.
You know what Jerry Jones thinks he's going to do? He's going to get Andrew Luck or bidding war.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones thinks that Andrew Luck's going to be president one day.

Speaker 1 I mean, this whole thing, it's crazy. I really do feel bad for Colts fans.
I think they get a bad. Obviously, the booing was bad, but they get a bad rap because everyone, what, Hank?

Speaker 1 Everyone's just like forgiving Colts fans automatically. Well, no, because I...

Speaker 1 I was like, no, here's

Speaker 1 Boston, but also

Speaker 1 if it was Philadelphia. If it was Philadelphia, it'd be funny.
Here's my perspective. If it was New York, it would be just as bad.

Speaker 5 But because it's Indianapolis, people are like, oh, well, those Colts fans don't mean it.

Speaker 1 The Colts fans are great. No, I think that if it's similar, it's not the same because

Speaker 1 it's your own guy and booing your own guy is weird, but similar to when Kevin Durant went down in Toronto and everyone jumped on Toronto fans, I said the same thing. Fans are fans.
Fans are crazy.

Speaker 1 Fans are very passionate.

Speaker 1 And in the moment, these guys, like the people who booed Andrew Luck are not thinking, wow, he probably has gone through hell to get back and his injuries have taken the love of football away.

Speaker 1 And he's worried if he can even lift his arm in three years. They're thinking,

Speaker 1 we were Dark Horse Super Bowl contenders, and now we're not. Fuck this.
And I'm paying for a shitty preseason game. So I'm not excusing it, but I understand.
Fans, it feels like everyone on Twitter.

Speaker 1 like dumps on fans now and basically says fans don't have a right to be upset they don't have a right to say andrew luck owes them anything but they have every right to be like you know what this really sucks our guy is retiring right they do they just probably should have booted him no they should not have booted i'm saying they should not have booted him, but I also understand.

Speaker 1 We're all allowed to have feelings.

Speaker 1 As somebody that just saw the trailer for the Mr. Rogers movie over the weekend, we're all allowed to have feelings, and we need to work on constructive ways to deal with our feelings.

Speaker 1 And you can sing a song, you can play all the low notes on the piano all at once, but maybe don't boo Andrew Luck as he's balding and walking off the field.

Speaker 1 If Andrew Luck had announced he was retiring on Wednesday and then they booed him on Saturday, I'd be like, that's totally different. Premeditated booing his district.
That's totally different.

Speaker 1 This was the instant reaction, and it's not good. And I'm not excusing it, but I also understand fans are crazy.
Word was trickling through the crowd that night.

Speaker 1 Like, remember when Bin Laden got shot and it was Sunday night baseball, and everybody was like telling each other? Yes. John Cena should have come out and announced it to the crowd.

Speaker 1 And that way, he would have taken the booze. And then when it came time for Andrew Luck to walk off, it would have been fine.

Speaker 1 I think they would have,

Speaker 1 they all want to take it back for the most part. Right.
Like, there's probably a handful of

Speaker 1 fans. I think that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Okay. How about this, Hank? How about I'm just saying?

Speaker 5 Boston, New York, Philadelphia,

Speaker 1 all would have been received way worse.

Speaker 5 You guys would have been like, classic Boston, classic Philadelphia, classic New York.

Speaker 1 Hang up a banner. I think it's different than Indianapolis.
That says Andrew Luck didn't retire for seven years. Put that next to the 2014 AFC Finals.

Speaker 1 Second most TDs.

Speaker 5 You didn't even get him that far anyway. So it's like, you're not even losing that much.

Speaker 1 He was the second most TDs in the first six seasons in NFL history. behind Dan Marino, recurring guest Dan Marino.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just think that if you look at Twitter, and this might be fighting my own straw man, everyone dumps, everyone has the same take. Andrew Luck didn't owe you anything.
We know that.

Speaker 1 That's stating the obvious.

Speaker 1 Andrew Luck doesn't owe us anything, of course not. But how about the fact that fans can be upset? Because most of these people live and die with their teams.

Speaker 1 How much do you think he's going to freak out when he gets his first iPhone now that he's retired? Oh, man. Because he's going to be bored for a while.
Maybe that's why he retired.

Speaker 1 He's like, I need at least two months to figure out this iPhone technology.

Speaker 1 When his wife gets him the first iPhone, because she's like, listen, listen we have to be able to text and do all this stuff yeah this is very tough on our marriage right now because you don't have an iphone i'm sick of these fucking green bubbles popping up all the time he's his mind is going to be blown it's going to be like bob dylan taking acid for the first time yes what what other things we have about it i i the only other things i had was uh chris ballard now has a job for life Because he basically gets stuck with a terrible situation.

Speaker 1 And now he can basically say, well, Andrew Luck retired. Is it a terrible situation, though? Is it? What do you mean? Jacoby Jacoby Brissette? No, no,

Speaker 1 I'm saying he basically gets like five more years now.

Speaker 1 Because if your franchise quarterback retires at age 29, you can basically say, well, I didn't see that one coming. Well, what's going to happen is Brissette's going to play above his expectations.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm betting them week one. Taking charge of it.
I'm taking the over on their season total right now. I think it's at eight and a half.
No, six.

Speaker 1 Six and a half. I'm taking the over on that big time.

Speaker 1 And then Brissette's going to get like eight wins out of him, cash a big paycheck somewhere else.

Speaker 1 Chad Kelly Kelly comes in, sucks it up next year, or takes him to the Super Bowl, one or the other. There's no middle ground with swag.
And then after that, they have Trevor Lawrence. Yeah.
So boom.

Speaker 1 True. Bada boom, bada bing.
Colts are back. And then we had OJ hop in, which is just the weirdest part of.

Speaker 1 It's the weirdest part of Twitter at this point is that O.J. Simpson, like...

Speaker 1 And the best part about O.J. Simpson is he thinks that all these fantasy football jokes are funny.
Like, this is his. Someone told him that fantasy football exists.

Speaker 1 I don't think he realized it until a month ago.

Speaker 1 And he's just, everything's framed in fantasy football. He was mad because he had just drafted Andrew Luck.
Allegedly. Who is which is also, there's a lot of alleged.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a lot of make sure to use the A-word around anything OJ does. Yeah.
So he's pissed off that he drafted Andrew Luck in fantasy football like five minutes before he retired. Allegedly.

Speaker 1 That would have to mean that Andrew Luck would be the only person to ever be on OJ's can't cut list. Yes, yes, pretty much.
Yeah, he's just like, fuck, this is the one guy that I can't go after.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes. God damn it.

Speaker 1 And man, he did it in a t-shirt. We're watching it right now.
It's so, yeah, it's just a weird story. I don't know.
It's a weird story.

Speaker 1 I feel like Andrew Luck, like, good for him. But, man, it's weird.
Well, we also talked about last week our idea for a law firm. Yes.
I think we should bring that back up because,

Speaker 1 hey, Andrew, why don't you use some of that $25 million in loose change that you got from Jim Mercier to just refund some of your fantasy owners?

Speaker 1 By the way, this is just more point towards don't do your fantasy drafts until like the second before the season kicks off. Because you'll just, this will always happen.

Speaker 1 I don't understand the people who do fantasy drafts in like early August. You're just asking for it.
Agreed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Go check out barstowgold.com slash PMT.
Andrew Whitworth, we talked to him in person in the van. New sign.
New sign in front of us right now. Only Barstow Gold people have it.
Barstow Gold.

Speaker 1 What could be on the sign? Slash. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Anything else that we want to talk about, Andrew Luck? I think that's it. I mean,

Speaker 1 it totally hijacked week zero. That was kind of fucked up, Schrefter.
It did. Although the Miami, Florida game was really bad.
It was pretty bad.

Speaker 1 Really, it was a matter of like who had the ball last was going to lose.

Speaker 1 And it was great, too, because it was so bad, but then it broke all the records for people watching it, which people are like, man, we shouldn't do week zero. These teams aren't ready.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 We should do week zero because everyone wants football. Yeah.
No, week zero, just the branding of it is fucking sweet. The University of Florida is awesome in August.
There's no doubt about that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's just when you get into like September.
Maybe. And they suck.
And then late October, they start playing well again. Bringing the U back, Michael Irvin.
Oh. Dude,

Speaker 1 how about the touchdown knuckles?

Speaker 1 The turnover chain came back. The touchdown knuckles.

Speaker 5 And having that old, super old lady being the turnover chain holder was.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah. And I don't know if you guys have to do it.

Speaker 5 And there's two bubbas on Miami.

Speaker 1 There are two bubbas on Miami.

Speaker 5 Some number.

Speaker 1 Michael Irvin versus Tim Tebow in like a trash talk fest was the most lopsided thing I've ever watched. Yeah, unreal.
Tim Tebow was just like, look at Gator Nation.

Speaker 1 And Michael Irvin was like, fuck you, Tim Tebow. Suck my dick, Tim.
You snorted a bigger cocaine line than your whole body, you bitch. He's like, Gator Nation, everywhere in Florida.

Speaker 1 I'll show you a Gator Tim.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's do Who's Back, and then we'll do our Mount Rushmore. Hank, why don't you start with Who's Back?

Speaker 5 My Who's Back? I have a few. The first one is Breaking Bad.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 5 We reported this a few times when the show.

Speaker 1 They got cucked by Andrew Luck.

Speaker 5 I reported them as back, and then I said it was not back because he was starting a tequila company. Thought it was fake news.
Turns out they were just filming the whole time.

Speaker 5 They released the trailer. It's coming out in the fall, Breaking Bad Movie following the season finale.

Speaker 1 I'm very excited about that. Very excited.
Best show in the history of television. It's going to be awesome.

Speaker 5 My other who's back is college football names.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
College football names.

Speaker 5 Best part of it being back, just the random names that some of these teams have. There's Manley Williams on Arizona.

Speaker 1 No, Hawaii, Hawaii. Hawaii.
He won the game for Hawaii. Dude, don't go to the island and expect to leave with a win.

Speaker 5 Al Blades Jr. on Miami.
Yeah. And then they had the two Bubbas.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's Benny Blades' son. Yeah.
Oh, really? Yeah. Wait, no, that'd be Al Blades' son.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. So Benny Blades is Benny Blades' nephew.
Yeah, yeah. It's just a great name.
Our niece. Yeah.
The Blades.

Speaker 5 And then the two Bubbas that had the same number.

Speaker 1 Bubba Baxter and Bubba Bolden. What number? You run out of numbers, yeah.
21. All right, Bubba, you have to wear 21 on every jersey that you get.
That's officially the Bubba number.

Speaker 1 You got it?

Speaker 1 All right, you wrote that down?

Speaker 1 I didn't see a pen in your hand.

Speaker 1 Here you go. Okay.
But you want a pen? All right, here. You want a piece of paper, too there you go 20

Speaker 1 wait to go with the rest of the show until you write that down bubba

Speaker 1 20 uniform number 21 21.

Speaker 1 all right that's that's okay all right

Speaker 1 um my who's back of the week is peaky blinders yeah peaky fucking blonde is i always wrote it down 21. yeah you gotta by the way a little life hack to to just improve this is not a life hack

Speaker 1 yeah just put on closed captioning just throw on closed captioning you'll be a lot better and then the rest of your life you'll just do it for everything and for every show now i now i use it for Mindhunter.

Speaker 1 So now I don't understand the English language anymore because I've

Speaker 1 just read it.

Speaker 1 No, it's not. It's not.
But Peaky Blinder's back. And JJ Watt was asking if anybody has an illegal stream.

Speaker 1 So, JJ, if you can't afford Netflix, then maybe we have some issues with your money management. I don't know.

Speaker 1 We're that $55,000 check or $69,000 check that we gave you. Uh-huh.
Interesting. Not to your Netflix account.
Good question.

Speaker 1 My other who's back of the week is Burning Man. So Burning Man is happening this week.
I don't know what Burning Man is, but it's like Coachella, except more naked. I think Burning Man

Speaker 1 is not cool anymore, though.

Speaker 1 Burning Man was before Coachella. But they're making it cool.
They're making it cool again because I read

Speaker 1 corporate. They went corporate, but now they're pulling it back.
Now it's like, okay, you're camping out in tents, and we're just going to have orgies the entire week.

Speaker 1 There are 40 orgies that are scheduled this week. See, once you schedule an orgy, don't show up to a scheduled orgy.

Speaker 1 You got like a calendar notification. Well, if you show up to a a scheduled orgy, it's going to be six dudes and one girl.

Speaker 1 Because every dude, it's like going to Fire Fest and be like, there's going to be so many models there. It's going to be so awesome.

Speaker 1 And then it's just a bunch of finance bros from New York who are a little overweight.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, there are 40 orgies that are scheduled this week in Berlin. Yeah, don't show up.
Little life hack. Don't show up to a scheduled orgy.
Orgies just happen. They have to happen.

Speaker 1 That's too many orgies, even if they just happened.

Speaker 1 You can't fulfill 40 orgies. You can't schedule sex like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 It takes all the love out of it.

Speaker 1 And then, well, no, Hank took my other who's back of the week. Which was? Which was breaking bad.
Oh, nice. All right.
My who's back is Dave Chappelle because it was his birthday and.

Speaker 1 New special. Yeah, no, no, no.
And Desmond Howard said, does Desmond Howard have to choke a bitch on game day? Yeah, which was awesome. Which is the Wayne Brady joke.
Mission man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't know we were bringing back those jokes.

Speaker 1 If you were in college or right out of college when Chappelle's show was on, you probably heard a million people yelling, what?

Speaker 1 Okay. Lee Corso has been doing the what from Little John for the last four years.

Speaker 1 I'm Rick James, bitch. And so, yeah, Desmond Howard, little tip, don't use jokes like that that are 15 years old and no one understands except people who are over the age of 30.

Speaker 1 When you just say, does Desmond Howard have to choke a bitch? I knew what he was saying, but I feel like there were a lot of people who had no idea what he was saying, and he thought he nailed it.

Speaker 1 Right. Trey Wingle.
When we got to Trey Wingle. Trey Wingle was like, let's leave this to the pros that know how to get away away with saying stuff without saying stuff.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 That escalated quickly, Desmond. Yeah, and Game Day's backed, which is great.
Game Day is so. So

Speaker 1 dude.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah. I mean, Lee's going through some tough times, but he's got a job for him.
Was that what you just called being old? No, he had a stroke. I know, but he's now like, it's...

Speaker 1 I love Lee Corso, but it's at the point now where we should figure out a role that doesn't expose him. I think it's kind of sweet, though, getting to see Kirk Herbstreet.

Speaker 1 It's the only time that I like Kirk Herbstreet is when he's being Lee Corso's like

Speaker 1 guide and his almost like, I don't want to say seeing eye dog, but he's like helping him with

Speaker 1 him with his sentences and like finishing his thoughts for him. And that's the only time that I will ever like Kirk Herbstreet is when he's lending a hand like that.

Speaker 1 But I'll say this, like waking up on Saturday morning to game day was such a great feeling. Yeah, I saw your tweet.
It made me so fucking mad because

Speaker 1 I don't sleep in anymore and you're and you're sleeping till 10 o'clock as a 34-year-old. What do I say? Like what the fuck?

Speaker 1 I said that's like my body's version of a dog sensing an earthquake is just waking up at 9:59 on a Saturday and turning it up.

Speaker 1 And then a bunch of people replied to me. They're like, they're like, hey, congrats on being a 34-year-old waking up at 10 o'clock.
Yes, yeah. That's, yeah.

Speaker 1 I saw it and I was just like, fuck, I've been up for it. But isn't it? Yeah, it's such a good feeling just waking up.
Yeah. And you're so, the nice thing is you're refreshed.
Yeah, really.

Speaker 1 You usually sleep through it. That's my opinion.
Yeah, you always sleep through it, right? Yeah, you could just. I used to do that, Hank.
I used to wake up to the Tom Rinaldi music.

Speaker 5 PFT is worried about getting my bets in it.

Speaker 1 PFT used to be 26. Now he wakes up right before it.
Yeah. Because Because I don't have a kid.
Yeah. 34.
Waking up at 9:59. That's nice.
That's nice. It is very nice.
All right.

Speaker 1 We have breaking news, by the way.

Speaker 1 Breaking news.

Speaker 1 Peter King dropped his Ado haiku. Oh, I saw that.
Yeah. He wrote, Just my opinion.
Football was tormenting luck. He had to get out.

Speaker 1 Good one, Peter King.

Speaker 1 Your poetry is shitty.

Speaker 1 Fuck off.

Speaker 1 Blow Blow me. Dude, that breaking moves

Speaker 5 was brought to you by chocolate milk.

Speaker 1 Keep counting.

Speaker 5 For real recovery, that tastes real good.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest with you, the Andrew Luck retirement wasn't real until we got the Peter King Adieu. The Adieu Haiku.

Speaker 1 That has concluded every column Peter's written for the last 25, 30 years.

Speaker 2 He'd been thinking about that all day.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's just like, gotta nail this haiku.
Everybody's been waiting. I'm surprised he didn't make a reference to the Civil War Andrew Luck guy.

Speaker 1 That was the pinnacle of comedy to Peter King. Jesus Christ.
He's got a beard.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our Mount Rushmore. Before we do that,

Speaker 1 Bud Light, guys, Bud Light, football season. We're back.
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You know it. We know it.

Speaker 1 Look, Bud Light could spend a whole 60-second ad read talking about its crisp taste. You notice how I said crisp?

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All right.

Speaker 1 That's right. America's favorite lager is giving your small business the chance to be heard on America's favorite podcast.
Is that us? Is he talking about us? Yeah, I think so. Fuck yes.

Speaker 1 But Bud Light can't just pay for anyone to promote their business. To be eligible, your ad read must include the words crisp and Bud Light.
For example, be sure to check out Hank's barber shop.

Speaker 1 Hank's satisfaction guarantee means that every customer leaves with crisp, clean haircut. That's sure to get compliments while grabbing a Bud Light with friends.

Speaker 1 So direct message your script or tweet at Bud Light using the hashtag Bud Light Small Biz on Twitter or Instagram for a chance to be featured during a PMT ad read.

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So tweet at Bud Light or DM them. Use the hashtag

Speaker 1 Bud Light Small Biz with a Z on Twitter or Instagram, and you can get an ad read on here. That's sick.
All right, Mount Rushmore of guests we want on the show. This is going to be a good one.

Speaker 1 This is great. So, what order? I go first, and then who's second? Hank.
And then Hank's second. You ready for this, Hank? You prepared? Let's do it.
Okay, my first pick.

Speaker 1 Look at his face. I got to go, Tom Brady.
Tom is one of those guys that, like,

Speaker 1 everything about him all time has been just like, this guy wins. He knows some secret sauce.

Speaker 1 I'm sure he'd be a very electric, like really enticing personality to kind of get to know a little bit better. Because as us Patriots fans know about him,

Speaker 1 he's a winner, okay? He wins, and he's got some secret sauce, and I think he'd be just a great guest. Probably the GOAT guest.
Did you know that was coming? No. I mean, I kind of...

Speaker 1 Did you have him on your list? Yeah. Are you sure? Let me see your list.

Speaker 5 He's at the top. I'm not going to show you the rest of it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Tom Brady is my number one pick. Good pick, PF.
Thanks. Don't you think he'd be good? It would be good.
Me and Big Cat have been talking about getting Tom Brady for a while.

Speaker 1 It would be great. All right, Hank, go.

Speaker 1 He's trying to think of a good Redskin, but there aren't. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I guess I'll just go with Eddie. Eddie Gragan's goodman.
Oh, Eddie Graven. Ooh,

Speaker 5 Electric Avenue. We tried to hunt him down for Barcelona Van Talk, and it was like, yeah, he doesn't have a cell phone or an email or anything.
Yep. I follow him on Facebook.

Speaker 5 I still get his updates sometimes, but I just think it'd be hilarious to have on the show.

Speaker 1 Okay. Eddie Grant would be a good guest, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Just have you say, oi.
I'll go with...

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, I think this guy's going to come on, but I'll go with Kevin Durant as my first pick. I think he is going to come on, but I really, really want him to come on.

Speaker 1 But not in a creepy, we're trying to get him on way. No, we're trying to get him off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, yeah, forget it, dude. Whatever.
I'm trying to get you off, Kevin. And then my second pick is going to be Cardi B.
That would be awesome. Oh, fuck.
That would be awesome.

Speaker 1 As everyone knows, I'm a big Cardi B fan. So Big Cat knew I was going to take Tom Brady, so he absolutely planned to take Cardi B.
You were going to take Cardi B? Yeah, she's on my list. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Well, I took Cardi B. Good.
I hope she drugs you. I hope so, too.

Speaker 5 Richard Petino.

Speaker 1 Oh, good pick. Good pick.

Speaker 1 Second pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was your second one. That'd be a quick one.
Here's my 13-second one. Nice.
Okay. Okay.
My next one. I can't believe you made it this far.
Boomer. Chris Berman.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think he'll be on the show eventually. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that.
If you build it, they will come. There's one of those situations for Boomer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a race for who?

Speaker 1 I take that back. That's it.
What? That's it. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 No. Go ahead, Hank.
I mean, I don't know. I don't know the fantasy football podcast.

Speaker 5 No, between him being alive and coming on the show.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn, Hank. No.
That was fucked up. Come on, Hank.
Shit. I said I didn't want to say it.
Dude, we got Tommy Lasa. He's still alive.
Yeah. That's messed up, Hank.
All right, so my next one.

Speaker 5 But if it hasn't happened at this point, like...

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I see what you're saying. I think we just put out a nice buffet for him.
Just like always have a nice spread ready for him. And he'll make his way here eventually by happenstance.
Yes.

Speaker 1 He'll be like Pepe Le Pew floating on the nose of

Speaker 1 the cured meats. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So next one, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 Roger Goodell. I think Roger Goodell.
I wouldn't even know if I'd want him. I would absolutely take Roger Goodell.
He'd be such a fucking wet blanket. He wouldn't answer any questions.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 you wouldn't be able to ask him the topic.

Speaker 1 Right, he would. Because he would do the fucking

Speaker 1 Mike and Mike thing. Like, all right, here are the questions beforehand.
Here item. Hey, Roger, ever think about going to an 18-week schedule?

Speaker 1 Hey, Roger, what do you think about letting the guy smoke a little reefer?

Speaker 1 And then he would just be like, well, we're thinking about this and we're thinking about that. And then it would be the end of the interview.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it would be great because we could fuck with him. We could pour water on him and see if he's a robot.

Speaker 1 Dude, he would have bring in all his security. Those Mike and Mike interviews with Roger Goodell were so bad every year.

Speaker 1 He does it with someone every year.

Speaker 1 I think we would just have to corner him and not let, like, physically bully him into a corner and make him answer our questions until either his goons kicked our asses or we got what we wanted out of him and let him go.

Speaker 1 I think, I think, no matter what, if Roger Goodell came on the show, it would be appointment listening. I don't know.
I think

Speaker 1 I just know. Watching him do those interviews when he does that one.
Hey, Roger Goodell,

Speaker 1 we got 10 minutes with the commissioner.

Speaker 1 Every year, whoever has a Super Bowl gets it. And it's always so terrible.
Yeah. All right, Hank, your second, third pick.

Speaker 1 There's a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there are a lot.

Speaker 5 It's a tough thing to boil down.

Speaker 1 And Lil, we're not to tell everyone what to do, but we're trying to get these people so then go tell them to come on. Greeny.
Oh, good one. Good pick.

Speaker 1 And Roger Greene. He could do the Roger Goodell interview.
We could, yeah, use him as a surrogate.

Speaker 1 I'll just sit there with my hand up Greeny's ass like a puppet, moving his mouth, and then get him to ask you Dell the tough questions for me. Okay,

Speaker 1 Greeny would be a good one. He is in the neighborhood.
He lives not too far from our office.

Speaker 1 I've never seen him. I've seen him twice at the Starbucks, at our old office.
I've never met him. He was right by there.
He might not even see him.

Speaker 1 He said the parody songs remind him of Mike and Mike. Yeah, I love it.
He's just like, cool. I'm going to go fucking walk in front of a bus.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 All right. That's not going to to help.
I don't care.

Speaker 1 Okay, my next pick.

Speaker 1 I'll go with two quarterbacks for my last two picks. Aaron Rodgers being one, because we are the biggest Packers podcast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Big Ben would be, I don't know what would happen if we interviewed Big Ben, but holy shit, that would be if we walked in with walking boots. Big Ben,

Speaker 1 those would be very different because Aaron Rodgers is smart enough where I think he would be able to hang.

Speaker 1 And Big Ben, I think we would just make fun of him for 20 minutes where things were going over his head, and he'd just be like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 But he would also be able to hang because he wouldn't get it. Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 And he'd walk out and be like, like, remember the time he took the concussion test? Yeah. And he's like, I nailed it.
And they're like, no, Big Ben, you got a concussion. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He'd walk out and be like, man, those guys were awesome. We really riffed.
Yep. And we just roasted him the whole time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it reminded me of just being in a locker room, going back and forth with the guys.

Speaker 1 I had a conversation with the Pouncy Twins a couple times. Hank, your fourth pick.

Speaker 5 I guess I'll go just because I think it'd be a great interview, but Joe Budden and his whole podcast gang would be a great collaboration meeting.

Speaker 1 And what's his name, our guy? Mall. Third best teammate.
Rapper of all time. Yep.
Joe Budden. That's true.
That's true. That's true.
All right. My last one.

Speaker 1 Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm.

Speaker 1 All right. I'm going to go with Guy Fieri.
Okay. I think that guy would be a great guy to have on the show.
He would be a guy's guy. Football guy.
Yeah. Football guy's guy guy.
A guy's guy.

Speaker 1 We could talk to him about the Raiders. We could talk to him about Donkey Sauce.
Talked about the time I snuck into his party and broke his toilet. Yep.
Just anything.

Speaker 1 The sky's the limit with Guy Fieti. Yeah.
All right. What got left off the list? I had

Speaker 1 Stephen A. Yeah, Stephen A.
Andrew Locke, Larry David, who we sort of had on once. Whoa, dude.
Stick to sports.

Speaker 1 I would like to have woke Peter King on.

Speaker 1 So since he's told everyone that he will never come back on, I'd like to have him back on as woke Peter King and just talk about the merits of serial rapist Darren Sharper going to the Hall of Fame for 30 minutes.

Speaker 5 And Obama for ratings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for ratings, Sports Bro.

Speaker 1 What about Hill Dog and Trump at the same time? Oh, good. Get the gang back together.

Speaker 1 We can

Speaker 1 talk about 2016. Yeah, the 2016 Magic that they shared.

Speaker 5 Ben Affleck and Matt Damon together would be funny. That would be good.

Speaker 1 Steve Jobs. Yep.
We should have him on. Give him a tweet at Steve Jobs.

Speaker 1 Kawhi. I would love to have Kawhi just because it would be one of those things.

Speaker 1 Either we would be the guys who made Kawhi cool, or he would be so robotic-like where we'd walk out and be like, you know what? That's it. Can't break who he is.
Can't break who is.

Speaker 1 There's nothing else there. That's how it would go.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
KG.

Speaker 5 KG would be another one. KG would be good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. DMX.

Speaker 1 DMX would be good. Just bark at him.

Speaker 1 You don't think so, Hanky? I don't think that would go over well. Yeah.
I think DMX would be an awesome.

Speaker 5 He performed at like a Westchester.

Speaker 1 No, you saw. Oh, no.
Who did you see? I saw Buster Rhymes. Buster Rhines.
Yeah, he performed for 12 minutes and then left and took steroids. Dog the Bounty Hunter? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Air Budd, just another dog. Yep.
Danny Boycaine. We don't say his name, but hopefully he'll come on sometime.
Jim Tomsula. Tom Sula, I had him on my list, too.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones. Yep.
Just throw back some Johnny Walker Blue with him. Jerk off into

Speaker 1 play limp biscuit with a set of loafers. All right, so give us, everyone go get us these people, please.
Also,

Speaker 1 Drake. I mean, would love to just talk to Drake as a fan of his music and his lyrics.
I would love to see you be like

Speaker 1 to Drake's face. you don't have bangers.
I would be like, Drake. No, I listen.
That line, Imagine if I never met the homies, is that it? Fuck. Dude, that's like, that's next level stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean, we're talking Dylan taking acid. That's Dylan hopped up on like Bath Saul's.
Imagine Prime. Imagine.
It's true, though. It's like Bob Dylan makes their Imagine Dragons.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what if we never met the Domies?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. It's great.
But you're mocking it. No, I'm not.
I'm saying it's so good. You're mocking it.
Imagine if I never had a dragon. Yeah, see, that's a mock.
That was a mock.

Speaker 1 I think it's a fucking wizardly line. That was a mock you just did.
It's really good. Brett Favre.
Favre would be dead. Favre.
I got nose game on not texting him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who else do I have? Giata. I had Giotta on here, too, actually.
You just want to look at her tits. That's gross, dude.
I don't. I don't want to look at her tits.
You want to cook with her?

Speaker 1 I want her to cook with me.

Speaker 1 That's so misogynistic. What? Did you just want to look at her tits? Oh, I thought you meant like kitchen stuff.
No, no. Because that's her job.
Yeah. Giata.
Salt Bay.

Speaker 1 Salt Bay. Salt Bay.

Speaker 1 Fuck Salt Bay. I fucking hate Salt Bay.

Speaker 1 Trying to think. Who else? Anyone else? I'm still Team Salt Bay, buddy.
Doug Ford. Just talk about Rob.
Remember your brother?

Speaker 1 That's not a bad idea. I bet you, out of everyone we just listed, he probably is the most attainable.
We could probably just email him and he'd be like, yup. And Doug Ford's definitely.
John Gruden.

Speaker 1 Oh, Adam Sandler. John Gruden.
Oh, fuck. Adam Sandler's a good one.
Damn, Adam Sandler would have. That's a really good one.
All right. Let's get to our interview with Andy.
Amazon Rainforest.

Speaker 1 Their hot ride. Jeff Bezos.
Yeah. Just see how horny he actually is.

Speaker 1 I'm going to regret saying that because he controls all of our brains. Also, Jack from Twitter.
Jack. He got several ideas.
He did a bunch of podcasts. I know, not ours.
Yeah. Fuck that.

Speaker 1 Didn't he do, didn't Jack do Bitcoin Marty's podcast?

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 This whole world that we live in is just insane. Our Bitcoin guy who.

Speaker 5 Definitely not anymore.

Speaker 1 No. Because we all lost money.

Speaker 1 The Bitcoin craze craze that swept barstool in 2017 oh problematic but yes i would yes i would like to interview him maybe we could do oh just via skype no no no no no we actually had it we we were offered i don't even think that was real but someone some ad who was i well it's not name the name of the ad it's a beer company was like hey what if we had you guys pick up oj from jail and we're like i

Speaker 1 don't know i think i don't know so these were like this was as the espn thing was like falling apart too if I remember correctly. It was like, oh, we're kind of.
It never actually happened.

Speaker 1 So we never were actually to the point where we had to sit down and be like, hey, guys, should we interview OJ?

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was a weird one.

Speaker 1 What do you got? No, I'm just agreeing with you that no and OJ. Confirm no.
Yeah. Okay, let's do our interview with Andrew Whitworth.
Before we do that, there's a new dating app out there.

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Speaker 1 60% of the people on there are women and you can sign up if you're single if you're not single sign up with your friends ship right now ship ship it's the new dating app okay here he is future hall of famer andrew whitworth

Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on andrew whitworth he's the largest man i've ever met um you also do way too much charity

Speaker 1 Thank you. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because I wanted to talk about the charity to set the stage here. And I've never seen someone who does so much charity.

Speaker 1 you do play 60 you do i have a dream foundation you do united way homewalk captain first quarter for literacy and read across america day why haven't you done anything for uh the dogs

Speaker 1 puppies you know talking puppies you hate animals we're talking puppies uh you know what i mean i feel like every year i try and add something to the repertoire and i think we just we you know eventually i guess we got to add an animal yeah it sounds like i'm kind of against the animal yes right let's do dogs or cats next year well probably dogs

Speaker 1 Yeah, we live in a society where if you are...

Speaker 1 No, well, I'm anti-cat in a way.

Speaker 1 I think that cats are more scrappy. They can find their own ways.
Dogs need homes. Cats just live on the streets.

Speaker 1 But we live in a society where people would actually look at it and be like, this guy, he does so much charity, but he doesn't do this. But it's actually very commendable.

Speaker 1 So thank you for everything you do. What's your favorite?

Speaker 1 Or what's the one that you spend the most time with? Like, do you have an Andrew Whitworth charity? Well, I mean, for the most part, kids.

Speaker 1 I mean, so elementary schools, like just going and visiting and trying to encourage them. And just, you know, I think it's fun.
I always go.

Speaker 1 And it never fails that they have the best questions and can put you on the spot more than anybody. That was actually my true.

Speaker 1 My first media event when I got back from the Super Bowl was I went and visited a school. And I would say that was harder than any media day.
They kind of laid it on me.

Speaker 1 So we have probably smarter questions overall.

Speaker 1 They're like, hey, what the hell happened on offense? Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's literally how it went. I literally walked in the classroom.
You know, this is the life of an O-lineman, right?

Speaker 1 I call it QB life when I'm talking about Jared and Todd and these guys, you know, just the big time prime-time life. So for an O-lineman, right, I walk into the classroom, how y'all doing, guys?

Speaker 1 I announce myself, tell them what I do, you know, from the Rams, how you doing? I get three statements, three hands raised. Like, hey, raise a hand if you want to ask me something.

Speaker 1 One, where's Todd Gurley? He's not here. Two, is Jared coming? No, he's not coming.
It's just me, guys. Three, why'd y'all lose? Yeah.
I'm like, you know what? I'm glad I'm here to see you guys today.

Speaker 1 Nobody wants me to be here, and all y'all want to know is why why I'm losing. Okay, so when they asked you why'd you guys lose, did you tell them because everybody's going to die?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're all going to die. I did.
I told them, you know what? I told them, here's the truth. You guys have good days and bad days at school.

Speaker 1 You have days where you come in and just things don't go right. You get bad on the conduct list.
You do bad on your test. And you have days where you come in and you light it up.

Speaker 1 And the reality is, is no matter what, the next day is the most important day. See how you handle it.

Speaker 1 I think you were kind of a victim of what happens a lot with the media where we take a quote and tweet it. Yeah.
And then it's one line and no context, and no one watches the video.

Speaker 1 So, when we see the line, Rams lose Super Bowl, Andrew Whitworth says, Well, we're all going to die someday.

Speaker 1 I think we actually talked about it on our show and joked about it, but it was clearly there was a deeper meaning to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I actually said they had asked me some questions about Super Bowl, and then a guy asked me, said, Hey, if you're retiring and this is it, like your career is over, you know, like how do you deal with having not won a Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 And my actual quote was like, I don't care how many Super Bowls or awards I've won. Like, the truth is, like, you know, one day all of us are going to die.
And it's really about how I live my life.

Speaker 1 Like, every single day, you know, am I a person that nobody wants to be around? Am I somebody who's self-absorbed and I don't care about people around me?

Speaker 1 And people would say, hey, man, you know what? That dude's won a lot of things. But God, he's kind of a jerk.
Doesn't care about the dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't care about the dogs, apparently. Right.
You know, if I died, people are going to be like, this guy hated animals. Yeah, right.
What was his problem? Basically, Crewell developed.

Speaker 1 But that's the truth. It's like, it's one of those things to me.
It's like, man, I'd rather, you know what, handle myself the right way than worry about trophies and accolades. I like this.

Speaker 1 Perspective.

Speaker 1 You have a very comforting voice, too. Thank you.
Yeah. It's nice.
Like, you can tell me. You're kind of sleepy.
Like, just kind of like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it like ASMR? Am I like a yoga instructor? Like, almost like making me. I don't do yoga.

Speaker 1 That's for offensive lines.

Speaker 1 Speaking of your voice, New Orleans or Louisiana native went to LSU. You guys beat the Saints in the NFC Championship game.
And then you went and said

Speaker 1 it was an excuse that the Saints said that.

Speaker 1 Do you just plan on never living new orleans again no i mean uh i i said what i said i think you know at the end of the day um you know being a louisiana guy we we uh we love each other and we disagree a lot and uh you know what i all i said was that it's just an excuse to blame one moment and uh that's the truth you know the reality is um as i've said before if they were winning the game at the moment or if that play would have ended the game,

Speaker 1 then that would be a valid argument. But the truth of the matter was the game was tied.
We've all seen missed field goals. We've all seen missed extra points.
We've all seen kicks not go in.

Speaker 1 So, you know what? You can't say that you for sure won the game based off the one play. Okay.
It's interesting. You played when you were at LSU, you played for Nick Sabin, right?

Speaker 1 What was he like as a coach?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I think he's one of those people that I really attribute a lot of things that as a pro that I've learned and how I carry myself and things.

Speaker 1 He's one of those guys that at times you might not get along with just because he's pretty hard on you. But you know what?

Speaker 1 At the end of the day, you value what it means to to work hard and dedicate yourself to something and have a passion and and uh to be really relentless each day about pursuing that passion because i mean his intensity level really man is second to nobody does he smile uh you know what he does smile you got to talk to him either about his pontoon boat

Speaker 1 or his lake uh you know and at that time a little bit golf you know he could you can sometimes you get him in a good mood about golf um

Speaker 1 about his boat yeah

Speaker 1 just please god don't bring up anything about success yeah if you do that it's over with That's poison. That's rap poison.
Yeah, you can't talk about success. You talk about winning a game.

Speaker 1 I'll never forget him.

Speaker 1 Our ring introduction after we won our first National Championship,

Speaker 1 he told us we could put him somewhere the sun didn't shine when he gave them to us. So that's kind of my memory.
I'll never forget. Yeah, saving.

Speaker 1 What was his office like? Does he actually have trophies set up or is it just blank walls?

Speaker 1 No, I think he's got some memorability stuff. I think, you know what, honestly, he probably doesn't know because he probably doesn't care what's on the walls.
Miss Terry. Those details don't matter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she probably sets all that up. That's important.
And, you know what?

Speaker 1 The only details he probably matters to him is that he has a good, good, solid, big chair because he's a big sports philosophy guy.

Speaker 1 So he probably has a really big chair and some little tiny chairs for you to sit in just so you kind of keep that templine mentality.

Speaker 1 And, you know, outside of that, he probably doesn't care what's in there. So you blocked for Jamarcus Russell at LSU.

Speaker 1 Were you surprised that it didn't go the way that everyone kind of expected it to in the pros for him? Well, I think anytime you're talking about the quarterback position, it's tough. I mean,

Speaker 1 there's a lot to learn. That sounded really professional.
It did. And, you know what? Everyone politically corrected on you, didn't I?

Speaker 1 And anytime you're talking about the quarterback position, it's tough. And it's an extremely hard position to be successful at.
He had a lot of unreal arm talent. I got to see that firsthand.

Speaker 1 I'll never forget when he was a rookie, I mean, a rookie, a freshman in college.

Speaker 1 We would make him every Friday, we had our walkthrough, we'd make him throw a football from the end zone line just as soon as he walked through the polls there on the game field.

Speaker 1 And that sucker throw it 80 yards, just no warm-up, you know just wing it and uh it was special to see him his arm talent was unreal you have to listen to just stories about jamarcus russell's arm on

Speaker 1 yeah on one knee hit the crossbar for 60 yards out you know i kind of would have liked to have seen him be like a major league starting pitcher i mean i bet he would have thrown some gas yeah some real gas so i want to talk about the quarterback position how hard it is jared goff in that saints game i thought was like his kind of not coming of age but like he had a bad start and then put it all back together.

Speaker 1 Can you tell in the huddle, like a guy like Jared, when it's like it clicks back on, he's like, all right, he feels comfortable now. He's able to get us to a win here.

Speaker 1 And also, just so you know, we're like best friends with Jared, so don't say anything mean.

Speaker 1 Don't say anything mean. Okay, not that you would.

Speaker 1 No, you know, with Jared, it's honestly, it's one of those things that always impress you about him is really his poise and calm.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's a guy that even when games don't go that great for him, you kind of see him as a guy that like trusts that it's going to come back. He can make that one throw.

Speaker 1 Like, he doesn't really ever get shelled up to where you see some guys kind of get nervous and they get kind of apprehensive with the ball.

Speaker 1 You kind of can see that even in his bad games or a game where things just don't go his way at first,

Speaker 1 he has that almost that shooter's mentality of like, hey, I'm going to catch one here in a minute and I'm going to make the perfect shot or the perfect throw and I'm going to get right back on track.

Speaker 1 Except when it's cold. That's how he handled that game.
Except when it's cold. Big cat thinks he can't play in the cold.
I mean, I saw his face. I asked him as we were with him on Sunday.

Speaker 1 I asked him to his face. I was like, dude, you were basically crying in Chicago.
Like, he was. He was cold.
He's a Cali kid.

Speaker 1 Well, he is a Cali kid, but I don't know if he was cold and crying, but maybe. It wasn't like a cry cry.

Speaker 1 It was the like, you know, when it gets really cold, you get a little teary-eyed just because it's cold. It was that.
Yeah. So, what do you think we ought to do?

Speaker 1 Like, get him like a flame, like a hint, like a heat suit? Well, I think after that one, like, he'll get he'll get used to it. But, you know, the first couple really cold ones for Cali guys.

Speaker 1 It's something Blake is also a good friend of ours. He's, he, he didn't know, he didn't see snow until like two years ago.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, the heat suit. Can we get Patton like a quarterback heatsuit? Yeah, like when Tom Brady wears the wetsuit underneath.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or just tell him to do it like an offensive alignment does and just not wear any sleeves at all. Yeah, man, just kill it on.
You look warmer if you're not wearing sleeves.

Speaker 1 It's quite as important if our arms are numb.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I do.
I wear sleeves. Hand card.

Speaker 1 Damn. No.
Here's how you're not as tough as you look. Hold on, here's how to define it.
I'll wear sleeves the entire season. If I ever wear sleeves, I'll wear sleeves the entire season.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's such a sneaky move by you.

Speaker 1 Like, I'll wear it through cam.

Speaker 1 Damn. Like, you know, that's a dirt dog move.
What are you doing this year? You're a sleeve guy. Are you a sleeve guy this year? A sleeve guy this year.
This year. God damn it.
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1 Now we can't pick you up. I got to be, you know, I got to be careful.
Just the Rays out here. Too much golf.
I got to keep, you know, sun protection. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I read somewhere that you try to change one thing every offseason. Like you try a different way to push yourself to try to break yourself a little bit.
What's this offseason?

Speaker 1 You know, this offseason, it's been honestly honestly pushing myself and a little bit of mobility.

Speaker 1 And, you know, really, I've kind of been a guy who I like to do things where it's like, hey, I'm going to go see if I can backpack with some heavy backpacks up a mountain or I want to go, you know, sled pushing or I want to just find, you know, try crossfitting or I want to try MMA or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 And this offseason is like, you know what? At this point in my career, like I need to be taking care of myself. So one of the big challenges for myself this offseason

Speaker 1 has been like mobility, taking care of my body, trying to find ways to make sure I keep my flexibility and keep moving and everything properly. And it's been fun, man.
It's yoga. It's good.

Speaker 1 Some yoga stuff, but honestly, just in my training.

Speaker 1 You know what, making sure technique-wise, everything that I do, I'm moving in good ways, good postures, all that type stuff.

Speaker 1 And a lot of flexibility in the hips and ankles and just keeping those things good to go, man, in case I want to play to 40. We were just hanging out with Jay Glazer earlier.

Speaker 1 He said he could kick your ass. Do you have a comment?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, you know what? He is the right height to be able to kick my actual ass. You know what I'm saying? Like, he more

Speaker 1 kiss it. Yeah, yeah.
You know, but he could probably kiss it. Now, you know, as far as actually, like, beating me up, I'm not sure he could reach my head.
So

Speaker 1 it would be hard to, you know, always tell him, though, me and him are, you know, we're coming back, twins part two. Yeah.
And it's going to be special. So you just said something there.

Speaker 1 You want to maybe play till 40? Well, I mean, offensive lineman, it's incredible that you are playing at the age you are right now. You're thinking 40?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, I just don't ever think in endings. So it's kind of like, hey, you know what? If I'm enjoying this game and I like the game, I'm going to keep playing the game.

Speaker 1 And if I feel good and I can play at a high level, you know what? We're going to keep riding. So do you think it will be like, you know, one

Speaker 1 season will end and it will be like, all right, you know what? I just don't feel like playing anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think for me, it'll be the commitment to how my body feels and whether I feel like I can keep, you know, honestly, the offseason is just, it's big for me.

Speaker 1 I mean, just at my age, being able to get back to the strength and flexibility I need to play well.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah, I think one year I'll end the season and go, you know what, there's no way I'm putting myself through all that again.

Speaker 1 It's too much pain, too much stuff to go through. And this is it.
But you feel good right now? I feel great.

Speaker 1 If you had won the Super Bowl, would that have calculated into your equation of whether or not to come back?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I told my wife this because my wife was, you know, I kind of honestly going into the week, she kind of thought maybe I might would retire.

Speaker 1 And I told her this during the week, I said, you know, honestly, this, all this retirement stuff, like, I didn't bring any of this up. This has been more media brought up.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I feel like people are like pressuring me. Hey, if we win the game or lose the game, like, you need to retire.
Well, we need need a storyline.

Speaker 1 So it was one of those things where I just was like, I don't feel that way. So win or lose, I just don't feel like I'm going to retire.
I mean, that was your first Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 That was our 34th Super Bowl as fans slash media members. So you got to understand, we just need a narrative.
No, I know.

Speaker 1 Like, we just need to, like, we, you know, the whole narrative I saw the video they did, which was actually really awesome with your kids.

Speaker 1 But like, that was a narrative. Like, Andrew Whitworth has kids.
That's a narrative. Andrew doesn't like dogs.
Right. He doesn't like dogs.
Exactly. No, they're afraid of dogs.
He's a lot of animals.

Speaker 1 You did say, so one more Super Bowl question. I know it probably is annoying.

Speaker 1 It feels awesome. It's like,

Speaker 1 let's keep bringing it up. Yeah, yeah.
Talk about the Super Bowl. Well, you did say it was the worst game you guys played.
I ever received a hairline, too. Anyways, go ahead.

Speaker 1 You want to take that off? No, if we just want to keep, you know, no, I've got to shave your head. But I'm just saying, if you want to keep bringing up talking.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Let's not do any more Super Bowl talking. No, go ahead.
You need to. So Blake is a good friend of ours.
He's going really bald.

Speaker 1 Just get him to go ahead and just take the lead.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe,

Speaker 1 ease him by shaving his head and be like, damn, dude, you look really good. Yeah, just kind of talking into, hey, man, let's go get on the end of the dab and

Speaker 1 let's. Have you talked to him yet? I hadn't talked to him about it.
I will, though. Okay, does he have bad breath? I don't think so.
You should actually say that.

Speaker 1 So we'll cut this part and say, Blake Bortles has bad breath because Leonard Fournette said it, and he's been running from it every day. Very upset.
He carries around taking breaths.

Speaker 1 How's Blake's breath? I'll approach him about it. Don't worry.
How is his breath? Blake's breath.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm not sure. I don't know.
It's pretty pretty bad. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it that bad? Is it bad? Really bad. Is it bad?

Speaker 1 You're saying that, like, is it ever bad? I heard it ever. No, it's pretty bad.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I have a serious football question for you. And you can feel free to tell me if it's dumb or not.
But is there a difference between blocking for C.J. Anderson and Todd Gurley?

Speaker 1 No, not at all. That's, yeah, for plays and how it works.

Speaker 1 You block and do your job, and those guys see what they see. And, you know what? They run with the styles they run with.

Speaker 1 CJ's he's thick he's a big boy he's big wearing that blue you know what he's he's uh he eats with the O-line every now and then you know that kind of guy so he he's a good dude so you were in Cincinnati for the majority of your your career before you came out here to LA what was like you you you know you blocked for Carson Palmer you blocked for Andy Dalton what was your highlight that you were like this is the moment that I remember as a Bengal

Speaker 1 You know, honestly, I think for me, it's really just a culmination of really when we started when I got there in 06 and to building that franchise into going and having a chance to win some division championships and having some success.

Speaker 1 I mean, in 09, winning a division championship and sweeping the division with Carson and those guys was an amazing accomplishment.

Speaker 1 But then also starting all over with Andy and AJ as rookies and going and winning a division in their third season to me was unreal when we had Jay Gruden and Mike Zimmer and all those guys.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a special group that year, too. So there were some great memories.
We obviously never won a playoff game and got a chance to make that next step, but really some great years.

Speaker 1 We had just some unbelievable seasons. Did Marvin Lewis ever just like sit down and when you guys were in mid-conversation just laugh and be like, I'm never getting fired, dude.
This is awesome. No.

Speaker 1 No, he didn't. But you know what? You know what?

Speaker 1 People want a winner and

Speaker 1 we won a lot of games there. We just didn't find a way to win the playoff games.
And that's the tough part with those things.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, in the NFL, it's never easy to walk out of a regular season game with a victory.

Speaker 1 And we won a lot of them. We just didn't find a way to win when they, you know, it was do or die.
Right. Do you still hate the Steelers now that you're not part of that rivalry anymore?

Speaker 1 No, not really. And I never did then.
I mean, you know what? It's just one of those things that

Speaker 1 you compete against somebody. And I look at it like training camp, right? Like your defense, like you love those guys.

Speaker 1 But in training camp, you are so tired of them putting their hands on you and you having to put your hands on them that things get testy time to time.

Speaker 1 And so I think with the Steelers, it was two really good teams. And

Speaker 1 it was always a lot on the line when we played each other.

Speaker 1 So I think it was one of those things where we just, at times, got frustrated with each other, and then other guys kind of had their own little internal battles with one another.

Speaker 1 It is what it is. Did you ever allow yourself to be a little bit intimidated by James Harrison when you saw his workout videos?

Speaker 1 You know what? It's easy to get intimidated by James Harrison. His workout videos are special.

Speaker 1 You know what? Real special.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 1 you know, an ordinary special. And, you know what? He's the beast.
There's no doubt about that.

Speaker 1 And, you know, having to be the guy that ran against him every day for about eight or nine years, my head still feels it. And so is the rest of my body because he had a little bit of leverage on me.

Speaker 1 So it's kind of like me running into a fire hydrant just over and over again.

Speaker 1 That doesn't sound funny. And it's, you know what? The dude's out of hard head, too.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 What last sensei question? Skyline chili, yes or no? Negative. Yes, there we go.
Andrew Whitworth. Whitworth.
That's going to hurt the people of Cincinnati, but we are. I love them.

Speaker 1 I mean, they're great people. Terrible tasting chili.
It's just, if you grew up eating it, you like it. They just don't want to admit it, but that's the truth.
It's the Stockholm syndrome.

Speaker 1 You grew up eating it, so you think it's good, but it is not good. It is not good.
It's warmed up baby food.

Speaker 1 Yes, especially a guy from Louisiana who has real good food. But wait, then you put spaghetti underneath it.
It all makes sense.

Speaker 1 What if you fried it? Then you'd probably be into it. Maybe.
I actually think that blended skyline chili would taste better than eating it just straight up like you're supposed to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like turn into a smoothie. It's yeah.
It's yeah, it's gross. It is very gross.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 what size are your shoes?

Speaker 1 17s.

Speaker 1 Jesus. How many beers can you fit in there?

Speaker 1 Have you ever tried? No, I hadn't tried. All right.
You know what they say about big, big feet? Yeah, yeah. Big shoes.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's about it. That's right.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Are you going to be in the Hall of Fame?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so. Why? I don't know.
Okay. Well, you should try a little harder.
You're not popular enough. Well, how many Pro Bowls have you been to?

Speaker 1 I don't know, four, five, something like that. Okay.
You got to get the median. Just play till 45.

Speaker 1 Here's what you need to do. After every single game, just like call Peter King.
Yeah, okay. And give him your take on what happened.
Send him some beer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, send him some beer and get in his content. Do be like the Instagram posts where I keep talking about how good I am constantly.
Yeah, yeah. We dominated this week.
Yeah, workout tours. Yes.

Speaker 1 I love those guys.

Speaker 1 The workout video guys.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 no matter whether a team lost by 40 or not. I had a great day.
I actually know you need to do. It works.
I'm assuming that during training camp, you have to eat a lot to maintain your weight, right?

Speaker 1 Because you're working out so hard. Am I wrong on that? I mean, yeah, you got to.
Okay, so you need to take pictures of the amount of food that you eat. Narrative, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just keep sacrificing calories. Or the breadth of effect.
I keep talking about like everything that hurts.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Yes.
But journalists love it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You think you overcame this?

Speaker 1 Maybe just keep lying about your age. Like, I'm 40 now, and it's really hard out there.
Yeah. And just be like, damn, he's 43.
If you just say right now, I want to play until I'm 40.

Speaker 1 Then that's a narrative right there. That's a narrative.
I want to play until I'm 40. Okay, got it.
Andrew, we're setting. We're going to get your ass.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. Do you have any questions for us as media members?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, you said you have a relationship with Jerry Goff. What's your favorite thing about Jerry Goff?

Speaker 1 He's just chill. What's your favorite thing about Sean McVay?

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 1 His memory. Yeah, I would say his voice.
I thought you were going to go beard. No,

Speaker 1 that's my least favorite thing. No, he actually gets really self-conscious.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's asked us not to. Yeah.
I swear to God. He was like, why do you guys always put on him?

Speaker 1 So this is what y'all should do then.

Speaker 1 When you interview, you should say, you know what? We're actually not going to talk about your beard because Wits is better. Yes.
Okay. Your beard is very nice.

Speaker 1 But see, then he would like, wait a minute, I don't want you to talk about my beard. Yeah, right, right.
That's good. That's good.
I'm talking about that combine. I like it.

Speaker 1 You say somebody else's beard. So we're not going to talk about that.
Yeah, maybe not yours because yours isn't that good. The first thing you guys have to say was, isn't my beard looking nice?

Speaker 1 It's looking better, right? And I was like, no, it's not really, Sean. No, your beard does look nice.
A little salt and pepper. Yeah, yours looks good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is kind of the George Collooney effect, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 uh-huh so like i'm trying to you know it's like i don't have anything that looks like george caloney so i might as well have my beard yeah yeah no the beard is a it's a strong touch so it's just try to go with the you know the gray fox look yes exactly um all right my last question seat geek question put in promo code take you get ten dollars off your seat geek purchase you like how i did that that was always nice ten dollars off your seat geek purchase you can go to a rams game this year hopefully they'll go well no i don't i'm a bears fan i don't want you to go back to super bowl but i i wish you luck thanks okay uh you deleted twitter two days after the super bowl yeah why

Speaker 1 you You know what? It's really one of those things, his culmination of throughout the year. I just kept being like, man, I read this junk too much.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I had an instance with my son, Michael, who's got a little swag to him, and he's not afraid to kind of call me out. Swaggy Michael is what they call him.
He is. And Sean would tell you about him.

Speaker 1 And he's, you know, one of those things that he kind of called me out one day, and he's just like, Dad, could you please get off of Twitter today and throw the football to me?

Speaker 1 And I was like, the fact that he knows it's Twitter and he's like calling me out for throwing the football with him. I was like, you know know what? I'm out.
So I was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to just, for the rest of the offseason, I'm out. And then I got off and I loved it.
Yeah. And I was like, you know what? This is awesome.

Speaker 1 I'm not actually worried about what every single person on the planet has to say to me.

Speaker 1 And so now I'm just an Instagram guy. Okay.
Turns out you don't need Twitter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We need it for our job. We need it, so we can't quit.
But if Swaggy Michael told me to get off Twitter, I might. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I might. I would definitely consider.

Speaker 1 Is it weird being older than Sean McVay?

Speaker 1 Good question.

Speaker 1 Weird.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, you know, I don't really even think about it, to be honest. Never problem, like, if he's telling you to do something different, you're like, hey, I've been around longer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know better.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what? You don't even remember the Teenage V Ninja Turtles.

Speaker 1 You know, you usually don't want to get into arguments with him over stuff that you know or don't know because he's got an insane memory and

Speaker 1 his knowledge is pretty high.

Speaker 1 But most of the time, that really wouldn't come into play because more, you know, being an O-lineman, you're usually looking at people when they tell you to do something like, have you ever put your hands on somebody else else and tried to move them when they're 330 pounds?

Speaker 1 Like, I appreciate your sentiment, but do you know how hard that is?

Speaker 1 So it's kind of one of those things, no matter what your age is, I'm probably looking at you like, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 By the way, here's a tip. One tip for the road.
When you do play past 40, 40 on, do the whole, I might retire, I might not retire, and be able to skip training camp. I like it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say that I'm actually off supporting dogs during training camp. Yes, yes.
And then I'm going to miss training camp doing and. And then you get to play.
You do the fun part. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because training camp sucks. Although it's gotten soft.
You guys have gotten soft. So do you think money will just kill the business?

Speaker 1 Would it be super cool if I ran out the tunnel with a dog the opening? Yes, absolutely. Unalash, yeah.
Yes. That would be kind of cool.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Andrew Whitworth, the man of many charities except dogs. Put them on the sideline and take a picture, put it on social media, and that dog goes up for adoption every Sunday.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got 16 dogs that you're going to find homes for. Yeah.
It's really bad that we've come up with a cool idea that we're not going to do this. Let Swaggy Michael name each dog.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you don't do this,

Speaker 1 then you really do hate dogs.

Speaker 1 That's such

Speaker 1 got a great idea. And now, if I don't do it, I hate dogs.
Yes. So, Andrew Whitworth, thank you very much.
Man of many charities who hates dogs.

Speaker 1 That's a line we're going to write when you retire. I thought I was going to leave you feeling good.
Also, Future Hall of Famer. Yeah, Future Hall of Famer.
We'll get that going.

Speaker 1 We have the power to do that. All right.
So, once we put it out there,

Speaker 1 talking about Instagram post about dominating Plato 45. Plato 45.
Future Hall of Famer. Pictures of your food.
All the food. Pictures of my food.

Speaker 1 We got it. Yeah.
All right. Bye man.
Thanks.

Speaker 1 That?

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have talking golf.
Rory McElroy beat Brooks, but could barely lift a trophy. Did you see that? His twig-ass arms.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Brooks really won. It's actually pretty sad that Rory has to go out there after Brooks has shown us what a real man looks like when he lifts a trophy.

Speaker 1 And probably Brooks, you know, like say what you want about his play this weekend, but he was probably more used to playing naked.

Speaker 1 He's probably feeling all sorts of encumbered by wearing clothes on the golf course for a change because he let his balls hang out all over the tour last week by being in the bodies issues.

Speaker 1 So I'd say that he's the real winner here. What did you think about Brooks' performance this week?

Speaker 1 Oh, Hank.

Speaker 5 I think he had it in the bag and he

Speaker 1 could have choked a little bit. Don't use the C-word for Brooks.

Speaker 5 Not choked, but he could have won that tournament.

Speaker 1 He's getting hit. If he didn't want to, do you ever think about that?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Andrew Luck didn't want to keep playing football.
That's fair.

Speaker 1 He's a fan. He doesn't owe you anything.
Yeah, Hank. Don't cast your failures onto Brooks, okay? Brooks was doing great today.
You know what it was? It's the last tournament of the year.

Speaker 1 He's probably bored as shit of golf. So he's just like, fuck this.
I just want the season. I think there's a playoffs next year, next week.
Oh, really? I thought this was

Speaker 1 a playoff. No, there's a playoffs, I think, coming up.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 This is the last regular season.

Speaker 1 I saw an ad for it, and I was just like, what is going on? I don't understand it anymore. Listen, if it just means a Brooklyn.

Speaker 5 I'm sure it'll motivate Brooks to play better in the playoffs because he internally is probably saying the same thing.

Speaker 1 He's like Randy Moss. He plays when he wants to play.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Randy Moss is a Hall of Famer. Straight cash loss.
That's what I checked. Yep.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Not a Super Bowl champion.

Speaker 1 Next time I'll shake my dick at you. Well, Brooks has mad mad majors.
How many?

Speaker 1 Six. Too many.

Speaker 1 Worse. I think he's going to five.
He's got four majors, right? Five? Five. Five.
Five. Final answer.
Five majors and a nude spread in a magazine. Final answer, five.
He's got two U.S. opens.

Speaker 1 A Masters?

Speaker 1 No? No. He's got three U.S.
Opens. Two tour championships.
PGA championships. He's only got three? No, that's not right.
That's not right.

Speaker 1 He's got four at least. He's got at least five.

Speaker 5 He won his third at the 2018 PGA championship, so that means four.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's won the U.S. Open.
Dude, you just look up his Wikipedia and it will say it. He's got four.

Speaker 1 Five.

Speaker 1 He's got

Speaker 1 four.

Speaker 1 He's got four. Damn.
Hashtag letBrooks play nude. Okay, well, he's going to get five, six, seven, eight next year.

Speaker 1 He's going to get... eight majors next year.
Yeah. Yep.
Yep. All right.
We have a drunk idea.

Speaker 1 President Trump wants to blow up a hurricane. Fuck, that's so metal.
How is there not an ACDC song already written about blowing up a hurricane? Isn't this just Geostorm? Is it?

Speaker 1 I think I never saw the previews for it, but I never watched it. Listen, I'm pretty sure that's the plot.
I'm Geostorm.

Speaker 1 I'm of the mindset that if you're going to launch a nuclear weapon at something, it's pretty badass to hit a cloud with it. Yes.
Absolutely. Like, I want to know what happens.

Speaker 1 You know, there was actually a plan back in the 50s or 60s, like in the height of the Cold War, to nuke the moon just to show the Soviets that we could do it.

Speaker 1 That would have been so that's pretty fucking cool, right?

Speaker 1 That's like the best July 4th fireworks ever. But then they nixed it because they're like, oh, it might knock the moon into the planet and then just like that.
Our tides and everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the moon's kind of important, it turns out.

Speaker 5 How would you guys stop a hurricane?

Speaker 1 Move.

Speaker 1 I'd run away from the hurricane.

Speaker 1 It couldn't catch me.

Speaker 5 Just get a bunch of windmills on the coast.

Speaker 1 How would I stop a hurricane? Blow it back. I would play prevent defense in the second half and let them commit a lot lot of turnovers.
Let them just

Speaker 1 parfoll over themselves. Yeah, just let the

Speaker 1 attack them. I would attack them with a bear.
Ooh, that's nice.

Speaker 1 What about a ninja? Or the swine flu. What about a ninja? Remember when ninjas were cool? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ninjas worked. Ninjas did have a moment, as they said.
Yeah, ninjas were hot in like 2003.

Speaker 1 Three ninjas. Great movie.
Uh-huh. Great movie.
Kick back. Some might say even better.
He doesn't even know that movie. Damn.
Fuck. Getting old.
All right. Trouble in paradise.

Speaker 1 Before we get to our Monday reading, Trouble in Paradise. Dwight Howard signed with the the Lakers.

Speaker 1 So he not only signed, but it was a non-guaranteed signing.

Speaker 1 So essentially, the Lakers said we can date you and break up with you at any point without, like, you can't move your toothbrush into the house. Yeah.
You can't do any of that.

Speaker 1 There's no shit in here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can just show up. We'll see if we get along, and then maybe we'll make it official.
Yeah, there are tears to this agreement.

Speaker 1 Like, if you make it to Christmas time, then you can bring your snakes to California, Dwight.

Speaker 1 I'll sign the permit for you. I don't understand this signing at all.
I do in a weird way because it's perfect for LeBron to be like, you know, the old saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Lakers' fans, no matter what happens, no matter how shitty the team plays, they're going to hate LeBron, or they're going to hate Dwight more than they hate LeBron.

Speaker 1 So LeBron has a real easy fall guy to point at and Dwight Howard and then be like, we got rid of the fall guy. Now it's time for us to jealous the team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it actually is not a bad idea to have Dwight Howard on your team so that when you need the like late February shake-up because your team has gotten to like a little malaise, you just cut Dwight Howard.

Speaker 1 I've also said for like four or five years that Dwight Howard is the NBA's wine mom. And this is before LeBron got really into wine.
Yeah. He just puts off that vibe a little bit.

Speaker 1 But I don't think he even drinks. I think he's a wine guy.
I don't think so. I don't think he drinks.

Speaker 1 He's a snake guy. I think guys don't drink.
I think they just hang out with their snakes. I think they swirl their wine.
No, I don't. I would be shocked because he's a big god guy and a snake guy.

Speaker 1 That doesn't equal wine. Well, those are two poor Laura.
That's like an old duels guy. A wine or a god and snake? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is. That is very.
I mean, it's fucking snakes. He's been around since the beginning, dude.
He's an Apple guy then. Since book number one.
What's your favorite book? I like all of them.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just respect the Bible.

Speaker 1 Let's do our Monday reading.

Speaker 1 All right. What's my favorite verse?

Speaker 1 Imagine if I never met the homies.

Speaker 1 Whoa, let's shout out that verse.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Here's the Monday reading.

Speaker 1 I, 21-year-old female,

Speaker 1 think my boyfriend, 25-year-old male, is a necrophiliac.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a Taylor Swift song right off the bat. I don't know what to do.
Necrophiliac, for people who don't know, is people who like to have sex with corpse.

Speaker 1 You know a lot about necrophiliacs. Dead people.

Speaker 1 I have dated my boyfriend for almost five years and lived with him. Wait.

Speaker 1 She was 16. Okay.
All right. Okay.
All right. Okay.

Speaker 1 He was 18. He was 20.

Speaker 1 How? Oh. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's actually the opposite of necrophilia. Yeah.
This is it.

Speaker 1 All right. Here we go.
I've dated my boyfriend for almost five years and lived with him for three. We're very close, and I'm hoping.
Oh, well, that's good.

Speaker 1 Shout out to him for waiting until she turned 18 to move in. We're very close, and I'm hoping he'll pop the question soon.
Most of our life together is great, but our sex life is just weird. Okay.

Speaker 1 He's always wanted me to stay still during sex. He says that someone moving around is distracting.
He's the only person I've slept with, so I didn't think it was a big deal.

Speaker 1 Just a little weird. That's kind of strange.
Sometimes he asked me to hold my breath. But I thought that could be a joking fetish.

Speaker 1 Recently, he wants to have sex when I come in from the cold. We're up north in Canada, so we have ample opportunity.
He won't have sex if I'm hot or sweaty, which is understandable.

Speaker 1 No, that's not understandable at all. All right.
Here's the... There's one thing I hate about sex.
It's how everything's like hot and moist. Yeah.
And like slippery.

Speaker 1 That's just nice, cold, non-moving body. You guys hate that.
Here's where stuff gets weird.

Speaker 1 We were watching Mindhunter, a show about the FBI tracking serial killers, and I realized he had an erection.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's just into like the psychology. Maybe he just into the Atlanta child murders? Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Well, no, maybe he's just into politics and like how they navigate allocating resources to solving murders. I've watched all of season two.
There's no scene where boners are allowed. Are appropriate?

Speaker 1 Are appropriate? I'm going through

Speaker 1 my head right now. Season one, they had

Speaker 1 one of the main FBI guys had the girlfriend arc. That could have been a boner.

Speaker 1 What if they solve the case, though? You're allowed to get an erection if you solve a case.

Speaker 1 The doctor does get a girlfriend. Wendy gets a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe boner. Yeah, maybe, yeah, the girlfriend gives you a turn.
I'd have to go back through it, but I'm saying at most

Speaker 1 there are

Speaker 1 three minutes total in a nine-episode run where a boner could be... So, like,

Speaker 1 you could talk your way out of having a random erection. So, we're not going to say that this is, like, definitive just yet, just because he had a boner.

Speaker 1 Could have been that one scene. Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Then, two days ago, I found searches of dead bodies on his computer. Well, that should have started with that.

Speaker 1 Should have started with that one.

Speaker 1 The Mindhunter and all the other stuff. Okay, he was intentionally looking for this shit.
It was really graphic and gross. Ask him who his favorite NFL coach of all time is.

Speaker 1 If he says Jim Caldwell, get the fuck out of the...

Speaker 1 Just leave that zip code. Don't pack your shit.

Speaker 1 It's like weird that she said all the other stuff, and then she's like, oh, yeah. And by the way, there were dead people on his computer.

Speaker 1 All the weird behavior clicked for me. I haven't said anything to him.
I'm scared for my own safety. Yep.
Honestly, because I don't know if he'll try to kill me. Ooh, this got dark.

Speaker 1 I have no idea how to confront him or bring up the idea of couples counseling. Any and all advice would be great.
Well, good news is she went to Reddit for this advice.

Speaker 1 I'm sure there will be a bunch of people who will

Speaker 1 guide her in the the ride. I've never been more certain of anything in my life than the fact that this guy also has a Reddit account.
Yeah. And he's probably already Reddit.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, he's probably on, I'm sure there's a, is there a necrophiliac?

Speaker 1 The Barcelona Sports Sub. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Food Necrophiliac. Yep.
Anonymous. There's got to be a Reddit for.
There's a Reddit for everything, right? I don't really spend that much time. I'm more of an HN guy.
Yo-oo. Nice.
Upgrade yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just grade yourself a little bit.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just assume we've been, I keep getting tweeted these Monday readings, and they seem to all be from reddit and it's just like okay yeah i it sounds like a pretty open and shut case to me yeah just here's what you do just pretend to die one day and see what his first move is you ever do that i i do that i have to confess i've done that with my dog once or twice

Speaker 1 where you just like pretend to be passed out to see what they would do and then you know he comes up and he like noses me and i'm like oh leroy i love you so what you do is you pretend to be dead on the floor maybe like spill a little bit of kool-aid or something like that around your neck see what his first move is is it to call the cops or is it to take his pants off oh and then you have your answer yeah okay do that and let us know well we actually won't know unless you do another one and it happens to be a monday reading in the future

Speaker 1 we won't be following up on this is now is there a an alternate version of necrophilia where you get off on having people think that you're dead Or the opposite of like you need people who are super alive, like maybe talk too much?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's who you want to, you know, know like someone who's just completely vivacious the person you know that's just always a bundle of energy that's the opposite of necrophiliac yeah i guess so um

Speaker 1 i'm off on this one yeah this is fucked up what are you what are your thoughts saying get out get out get out good advice we should make a movie about yeah but first do the thing where you pretend to be dead like you do for your dog or just put put a mannequin on your bed and see if he fucks it.

Speaker 1 That's a good. Yeah.
There you go. That's the answer.
I love it. Or find a dead body and then see if he fucks that.
Here's what you do. Like, suggest, hey, why don't we go grave digging tonight?

Speaker 1 Yeah, picnic in a graveyard. Yeah.
Let's just see if he likes it. Yeah, see if he starts touching the ground and getting a boner there.
Be like, hey, zombie movie this weekend? Let's check it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you need to dig a little bit deeper because I think just having dead people porn on the computer

Speaker 1 isn't quite enough. Yeah, that's not.

Speaker 1 There are so many dominations for how a dead vagina could end up on your computer. If you start clicking on you, porn, you can end up anywhere.
Down a wormhole. They said that.

Speaker 1 Josh McCown has told us this. And this is entrapment.
You end up in Nebraska. The algorithm gets it.
Detroit. All right.
We figured it out. So I guess we're on that guy's side.
Yeah, yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 We'll see everyone Wednesday. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Joking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm to say. I'll stay anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's another day to find me. Shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 they

Speaker 1 are

Speaker 1 gone,

Speaker 1 too.

Speaker 1 They

Speaker 1 gon' be

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 the damn day.

Speaker 1 He loves to say,

Speaker 1 I've all said it's about me so little but

Speaker 1 telling them that life is okay. Stay up to me.

Speaker 1 Always for better to be safe than sorry. Stay up to me.

Speaker 1 Always for better to be safe than sorry. Stay gone.

Speaker 1 Take me on.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 the day I'll be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.