Hall Of Famer Morten Andersen, Mt Rushmore W/ Jerry O'Connell, And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Morton Anderson, Hall of Famer Morton Anderson, one of those interviews where we didn't expect it to happen. He actually hit us up.
He was coming through New York. He and his son are huge AWLs, so it was an awesome interview.
We talked about the kicking career, probably the best kicker of all time. We talked about his comeback.
We also have our good friend Jerry O'Connell on the show in studio to do the worst slash best Mount Rushmore we will do all summer. It is the Mount Rushmore of fantasy football selection, draft selection numbers.
And it was just as confusing as I just said it. So it is stupid.
It's funny. And Jerry is the man.
We also have a little fire fest. And what are we going to do today, Hank? Jimbo's? No, we're doing FAQs.
We have all that ready to go before we do that.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's go.

Boys!

Boys! No place to hang out or washin' And then I can't blame all of you, son Oh, no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Part of My Take, by the Cash App. Go download the Cash App right now.
Put in code BARSTOOL. You get $5 off and you get $5 to the ASPCA.
That's $5 actually for free. Today is Friday, August 23rd.
Am I right? Yes, I'm right. And football week zero is here.
I'm so excited. You hear that sound, Big Cat? You hear that sound? Yeah.
You know what that sound is? It's people finally getting mad about sports again. And that's what I love the most about the start of football season is you can finally find a release for all this anger you've pent up.
Because it actually makes you feel better to get mad about arguing about sports and now that we have real games it's time to get angry i watched it happen slowly on my timeline my twitter timeline the last few days the change of like baseball people still fucking talking about basketball shut up you nerds into football where everyone has the previews and their predictions and their fantasy football and their weird fantasy football podcast gets announced and all this stuff happens and it's slowly the tides turn and it's like we walk into a room with all of our friends and we're like, hey, we're back. This is great.
I've noticed a few of those basketball nerds be like, hey, till the nba season starts no 58 days shut the fuck up this is our time we get this we have the entire fall no one cares about your sport until after the super bowl football week zero meaningful football is back well people start caring about the nba on christmas day that is the official start of the season they should just start it at that point and then move on from there because, yeah, football, we own the fall. That's actually a great idea for a t-shirt.
We own the fall. Fuck, that's good.
The falls for the boys. Falls for the boys.
I like it. You're right.
You see people talking about actual meaningful shit now when it comes to sports. We can forget about getting upset about stupid, inconsequential stuff like climate change or which colors are the best and arguing about that.
And we can finally get into getting mad about sports. And I fucking love it.
And there's all these storylines that I had forgotten about over the summer that I'm getting reintroduced to. And I love it.
I'm rediscovering what I'm excited about. And the first thing that I saw when I was reading these previews for the Miami Florida game we were going to have a fucking Australian punter with neck tattoos 6 foot 4 weighing 245 pounds I was watching punting highlights today and I was getting excited about it we also have the classic I'm so happy they started with these two teams because the entire broadcast is going to be talking about returning to glory.
And are these teams officially back? Can we get back to Steve Spurrier, Tim Tebow, Urban Meyer, Florida? Can we get back to the U in the 80s and early aughts? And guess what? On Saturday night, Imagine Dragons is going to hit, and it's going to feel so damn good. I assume that Imagine Dragons has a song for this college football season.
Yes. Because if they don't, then the whole world.
That's actually more of a pressing issue than climate change, is if Imagine Dragons, if we turn on our ESPN on Saturday night, and it's some random band we've never heard of. So I'm just going to assume it's Imagine Dragons, and I'm going to say I've already got chills.
Yes. Even if it's Fall Out Boy, that counts as Imagine Dragons, I would say.
Yes. 30 Seconds to Mars, that counts as Imagine Dragons.
Technically, that is Imagine Dragons if you're watching a preview for a Saturday night football game. Yeah.
Maroon 5, they're hard stuff. That also counts as Imagine Dragons.
If you're drunk enough, Maroon 5 could be considered Imagine Dragons light.

Yes.

Agreed.

Yes.

I'm looking forward to...

It's diet Imagine Dragons.

Yes.

Yes.

I'm looking forward to Dan Mullins walking the sideline.

Dan Mullins, he's got a big, wide face, and he always looks concerned about stuff.

He always looks like he's convincing his body not to turn into Brett Bielema's body, just

by the sheer force of will.

I'm looking forward to that.

I'm looking forward to the return of Manny Diaz, former Temple head coach, making his return to the U this weekend, trying to bring him back. There's just so many awesome storylines.
And Manny Diaz is the perfect type of Miami coach where he walked in the door and was like, I'm bringing the U back, and then immediately started doing shit that pissed everyone off and was slightly shady. And that is, like, you can't go down to Miami and be like, you know what? We're going to just out-recruit everyone by getting there and knocking on doors.
No. Manny Diaz had that boat party that he went through Miami and was blasting, and I think he did something where he showed up to another guy's football camp.
He's doing the things that brings Miami back. So I'm all in on Manny Diaz.
And, yeah, I'm just excited. This just, like, five-minute talk has me excited.
Me too. What about the turnover chain? Is the turnover chain back or did it get the Dunn chain? Did they put the Dunn chain on the turnover chain? Two chains? I mean, Paul Chris killed the Dunn chain.
I mean, the turnover chain. He put the dun chain on the turnover chain two chains i mean boy paul paul chris killed the dun chain i mean the turnover chain he did when paul chris who has well he's like he never swears in his entire life his mom literally yelled at him for swearing on national television real swag is no swag turnover chain my ass i think when the the wisconsin head coach who the only thing he changes in his outfit is which shade of gray he wears on his hoodless sweatshirt when he says turnover chain my ass it's over and they tried it last year and it was weird and awkward so i think it's over i think it's done they should just make it a turnover jewel just like a ring or what no like a jewel that you you're gonna lose that jewel like you vape yeah oh a double jewel is done.
The players aren't allowed to vape, so it's like if you catch an interception this is your chance. That's not bad.
I could see Fresno State getting into that. You thought it was like a diamond.
Yeah, I mean we're talking about jewelry. My brain naturally followed to like, is it a gemstone? What are we talking about? You're far over the jewel days.
Oh, yeah, I'm smoking heavy cigarettes now. My Juul days are on the past.
I'm strictly on a health regimen. It should actually be a cardboard cutout of Juul the singer, and then you hook a vacuum up to her mouth, the back of her mouth, and then you have her Juul, actual Juul.
She blows the Juul smoke through her missing tooth. Yes, boom, done, and then she's got bling bling jewels in her ears that if alaska had a football team that would you know what jewel lived her entire life on grit week i don't know if you know this about her she lived out of a van for like six years when she was trying to make it yeah we know she every song was about that yeah i didn't this is kind of dating yourself i was watching the roast of Rob Lowe the other day and she was on it.

I was like, I have no idea who this is.

But they kept referencing her and roasting her.

But yeah, that's she should make a comeback by just changing the spelling of her name to J.

U.

U.

L.

Jewel was Rihanna before Rihanna.

I'll say it.

What?

That's strong.

What?

That's strong.

All right.

Let's we also have to before we get to our fire fest of the, and then we have Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connell and Morton Anderson coming up with a great interview. We got to do barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Go get it right now. You can watch Morton Anderson in studio.
And we also have new shirts coming out for the fall. We have Coach O Hold That Tiger shirts coming out for right now.
They're out. They're out.
And get ready because we've got some Larry shirts coming out. No one knows what they look like, but we have some Larry shirts coming out in a week and we'll sell the stock like we always do and get Larry into the super contest.
By the way, someone remind me on Monday, I have to get Larry into the super contest.

Okay, done.

Put a calendar in.

Someone remind me of that.

Because I'm totally going to forget,

and then we actually will be committing fraud.

Yes.

First Larry to ever make it two seasons.

Well, let's not counter Goldfish before.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Yeah, so Larry still has like a week and a half to make it.

But yeah, he would be the very first Larry

to survive for a full offseason.

And it's tough. He's chonked too.
It's tough on us yeah and the whole move that's true and a move god damn this is spider yeah shout out spider he kept larry live all right so before we get to fire fest uh we had two golf visuals we have to talk about phil mickelson now has a six-pack i think and uh is skinny skinny. And then Brooks Koepka, just an absolute man rocket, did the body issue, and I think everyone came in their pants right away.
Yeah, just guys being nudes. Just Blake showing off on the golf course, the old 19th hole behind him.
He looked good. He was intimidated.
I saw today on the golf course he was wearing a pair of Nike shoes, but he was doing the thing that the kids do, and he left the on it off whites off whites dude yeah pretty sick come on i i don't know how comfortable i am with with the idea of golfers getting hot because that was always a sport that you could just like point at and be like i'm probably in better shape than a lot of these guys but uh phil phil concerns me like i don't think that's a healthy body type for phil his body has to be just so confused after living for how many years like 45 years just as kind of like a lump of clay and now he's sculpted it's weird it's a weird transition for him it's a weird transition and Phil it also might be the only guy I think he looks worse when he has clothes on because I didn't think he had that underneath him and then when you see him with a t-shirt you're like oh he's still got those man boobs no problem so maybe he just hasn't changed his clothes but I agree Phil Mickelson getting skinny that's that shouldn't happen that that fucks up the whole everything we know about golf and Phil Mickelson I can't root for him when I see him like that Brooks on the other side I mean I said it but it's basically the difference between tasteful nudes and gross nudes. Phil Mickelson, gross nude.
Brooks, tasteful nude. Agreed.
I think Brooks looks fantastic. I think they should have asked that guy.
So hot. A fib barn rat.
Is that the guy's name that vapes out there? Yeah. Speaking of vaping, they should have just asked him to be in the body issue, just covering up his genitals with a sick cloud.
It was like a big exhale. That would have been awesome.
I feel like it was the reverse of Phil, though, where it's like, I thought Brooks would be a little more jacked, but once the shirt came off, it was like a little. How could you say that? Dude, Brooks has a good body.
He looks like he's got guns on the course, and there wasn't, you know, as much definition as I was expecting. No, he's a smooth boy.
I did like the fact that he had the farmer's tan, though. Like, they that out that was nice hank how could you say that he was a fucking chiseled adonis dude he didn't have one ounce of fat on that body i thought he looked great and like so the one thing about golfers is their their tans like between the farmer's tan and the forehead tan that you can't photoshop those that's how strong the sun is the sun can defeat uh computer programming the fucking sun yes yes the fucking sun um hank i actually i think that was fair of you to be honest but you obviously were wrong you know that right of course yeah he looked great yeah brooks he looked great uh another fun fact about blake that liam pointed out to me is that those shoes that you're talking about with the tag, you made that same joke because Blake Griffin was wearing those same exact shoes in the van on Grit Week.
Oh, okay. So he was doing a little swagger jacking of Blake Griffin.
He was doing a little Blake on Blake violence. He saw what the Blake of the Year had to do to win, so he was trying to take those steps.
Okay, I like it. I like it.
He's a competitor. Yeah, it's a copycat league.
All right, let's do our Fy fire fest. Hank, why don't you start? My first fire fest is I still haven't got that laundry bag.
I think about it every morning. Every single morning.
I'm like, fuck. Goddamn.
I wish I had that bag. Maybe this weekend.
You got to secure the bag. There's going to be some dry cleaner walking around Brooklyn wearing just like a shitload of obscure Barstool merchandise from seven years ago.

Yeah.

And then my second.

So that's my real pressing fire fest of the week.

My second one is that I sit next to Marty Mush, who's like Barstool's gambling guy.

He just gambles all day, every day.

He was preaching yesterday about the Tigers plus 400.

Got to take him.

Got to take him.

Got to take him.

Oh, I just I and in my head, because he's always like spouting off. I was like, oh, no.
You sound crazy. I would never do that.
Maybe. I thought about it for a second.
I was like, you think I should? He's like, yeah. And I was like, why? He's like, just because it's plus 400.
And I was like, forget about it, Marty. You're dumb.
Of course they won. Of course it hit.
Yeah. So that was tough.
Even a blind pig finds an acorn. That's what we say.
That was the second time. I think the Tigers have been on the wrong side of the two biggest upsets in MLB history, like in the last decade, and it's happened in the last three weeks.
They lost the Orioles a couple weeks ago, plus 385 or something. Then this, the Tigers, Hank.
That's one of those bets. If you get it on your radar, you have to take it.
It's like doing an office pool for the Powerball. If someone mentions it, you have to do it because if you don't, you know it will hit.
A little spin zone for you, though, Hank. If you had won that bet, you probably wouldn't have wagered a regular unit for yourself since it was such a heavy underdog.
And then when you win those bets, the first thing that you do, you're like, shit, I should have bet a lot more money on it. So you saved yourself of thinking about what might have been true true but yeah there you go you're you're right though big cat it was like all day i was like what like you're an idiot you should have just done it not thought about it but whatever yeah yeah um all right pft what do you got my fire fest of the week is that the popeye's chicken sandwich has been sold out all week during lunch and i haven't been able to get it i've tried've tried very hard.
I had it last week, so that was cool. But once you start thinking about Popeye's, just like you guys were talking about, like when you hear Powerball, when you hear somebody say Popeye's chicken sandwich or you see one of five million people tweeting about it, you want to get it, and every single place in New York has been sold out of chicken.
I don't know how you sell out of chicken, but they've managed to do it, And so I've just been feeding one all week long because I've got to try the spicy.

I've had the regular, but I haven't had the spicy one yet.

I've been lost on this whole entire thing that Popeye's.

The fact that Popeye's didn't have a chicken sandwich is a shock to me.

And then the fact that everyone is going crazy for it is even more shocking because it's like it's a chicken sandwich.

You can get a chicken sandwich anywhere, right?

It's a good sandwich.

It's very, very good.

Unpopular opinion, the Popeye's chicken sandwich is good.

I'll die on that hill.

You should get it.

No, it's really good, and I need to have another one.

I've thought about actually walking to a Popeye's.

That's how pressed I've been to get this sandwich is I've thought about walking like six blocks to purchase one.

That's insane. Yeah, my other fire fest of the week is the Amazon rainforest is on fire, but whatever.
Yeah, it's it's only the earth's lungs. Yeah, probably not a big deal, right? Time.
Yeah, we're we're basically just vaping a lot. The earth is just in their teenage vaping.
Yeah, is the Amazon rain? Is that does have anything to do with Jeff Bezos? Did he sponsor it? Probably. The failing Amazon rainforest? Very unfair.
He probably lit it on fire with his drones that were just flying around, just delivering packages to random places. Good point.
Yeah, they probably just dropped, by mistake, an incendiary bomb that was meant to be sent to some weirdo in Idaho. They dropped it in Brazil get get jared in a water bottle down on the first plane down there take care of it oh yeah that's true jared goff could save that entire thing right now all right my fire fest i have two one is max kellerman keeps talking about how he created the boat and it's pissing me off i'm at the point now where i'm just going to do passive aggressive things where retweet every time he says it to let other people attack him because I'm so frustrated that he actually thinks he created it.
And I actually don't know. I don't know if we even created it.
I think Gaz might have created it, Hank. Blake created it.
Yeah, it wasn't us. Blake might have created it.
Yeah, right. It came from this, like, our little world, but I'm not even saying that this show specifically created it it i think it was someone in the barstool world slash blake and it's been around for five

years now and the fact that max kellerman thinks he just made it up on the spot yesterday is driving

me insane yeah and he's he's very uh he's he has no shame about it whatsoever he's been saying like

i just came up with this isn't that great that i came up with this he's retweeting people being

like hey max i'm so excited that you came up with the term boat and he's like yeah i know that was that was it that was my biggest hit since that awkward rap video that got leaked like six months ago max those fucking people are our fans and they're being sarcastic you dumb piece of shit it's true they are yeah let's see how many people you know what do this tomorrow tweet at max kellerman and say thanks for creating the boat and then we need to put a code word in there so they know that so we know it's our fans uh the code word is uh i'm trying to think oh no how about i think one that would get under his skin a lot like Skip. The code word is skip somewhere in the tweet.
Yeah. Max, thanks.
Go ahead. I'm really glad I don't have to skip first take anymore now that you guys are coming out with great terms like the boat.
Something like that. Yes.
Shout out, Matt. Maybe capitalize the S and skip occasionally.

I don't know.

We'll see.

Perfect.

Perfect.

All right.

So we I also have I've been switching to black coffee because I'm trying to like watch my diet because I have a kid and I don't want to die early and all this fucking stupid shit that you have to do.

Like, it's so lame that I have to actually think about this stuff now. But I switched to uh black coffee and it's the worst but your kids drink milk all the time so isn't milk healthy i know but no i think you're supposed to drink it until a certain like until you hit uh what's it called not menopause that's not puberty yeah menopause when your metabolism goes down and your tits get big menopause yeah dude for men For men.
And Jim Harbaugh would be very upset with you about all this. Quitting milk.
It sucks, dude. It sucks.
But it does feel badass to say to everyone when they're like, do you want a little cream? You're like, nah. Yeah.
But then I cry a little bit as I drink it because I'm like, this is just garbage. I feel like when you drink black coffee, you end up drinking like two sips and always throw it away.
No, black coffee. I drink black coffee just because i'm lazy and i don't feel like making the trip to the fridge to get creamer or making the trip to the grocery store to buy it so i just drink it out of sheer like sheer convenience and it tastes so bad that it actually does a better job of waking you up than coffee with cream in it but you drink if you go to like starbucks you get you get cream in that a little bit yeah i'll be like a little bit also sometimes i don't feel like saying like a little bit of cream leave some room for cream and I just get lazy with my words I just end up drinking something I don't like but that's what being a guy's all about right so I'm doing that and it's the worst and I can't I can't uh say that like I can't recommend it to anyone because it's absolute hell and it's like the whole eating well thing just sucks it sucks that does suck it's painful to hear you say and i was about to say that that harbaugh must be very upset with both of us for a fire fest because you're swearing off milk and i'm complaining about not being able to eat a nervous little bird that makes you nervous with its energy all the time so maybe i don't know maybe we switch maybe i'll drink extra milk you eat extra chicken

that's that works for me jack spratt situation healthy yeah all right let's get to our mount rushmore with jerry o'connell so we actually just randomly saw him in the office he was doing other shows and we're like well he's a fantasy football guy we're fantasy football guys so we did the The single most ambitious slash dumbest Mount Rushmore possible.

We're going to get. fantasy football guys so we did the single most ambitious slash dumbest mount rushmore possible we're gonna get right back to the show the last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button get a quote today Restrictions apply USAA.
All right, back to part of my take. Okay, here he is, Jerry O'Connell.
Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest and friend of the program. It is Jerry O'Connell, J-O-C.
Young jock. Guys, what a fun time.
He is taking over. Commenter, cat.
Yes, love it. So good to be back.
I love hearing that from you. You know what? Since I've been here, you are now a father.
Yes. How is that? Good.
Good. Is that driving you crazy? No, I mean a little bit, but good.
I mean, I'm a big into not, I assume that someday my son will grow up and listen to everything I say. So I'd rather not be like, yeah, he fucking sucks.
Oh, it's so funny

because I know my kids

are probably listening to this

and they suck.

They're terrible.

Yeah, they do.

They're terrible.

All right, cool.

Not the smartest.

What were they like as babies?

Probably won't go to college

unless you pay for them.

Unless I pay.

Get them on the rowing crew.

Or you're a fake.

Yeah, fake it out.

Well, they're not rowers

but I take a lot of photos of them

on rowing machines

which will be super easy to Photoshop. Yeah, they're not rowers but but you are enrolled in an Adobe class, right? I did.
You know what? Like a little sports story about kids, and you're about to find this out as you trudge down this road of parenthood. I'm not an athlete by any means.
You fencer. We know.
You fenced to NYU. We get it.
So fun to be back here. Oh, man.
But I put my kids in a soccer school, a soccer camp. An academy.
Yeah. Bought them the cleats, bought them the shorts, the umbros, right? Yeah.
Shin guards. Umbros are coming back.
Got them the shin guards and everything. And they were like, we we live in Calabasas, California.
And they were like, we don't want to do this. This isn't what we want to do.
And I was like, you're going to go. And I want you guys to try as hard as you can.
This will help dad down the road with tuition and all that stuff. Like, really, I need you girls to try your best.
And so I put them in it, picked them up, a couple days pass, and my phone rings. And it's a number I don't recognize, and I immediately pick it up because I love that game.
And someone says, hey, Mr. O'Connell, which is kind of weird, and you're going to get that now that you're a parent.
The people are going to call you Mr. Cat.
Yeah, all the time. And he says, hey, this is Coach Jamal.
I coach your daughters in soccer. And I need to talk to you.
And I was, like, time froze for me. And I was like, this is it.
This is what, like, Earl Woods, this is what Tiger's dad went through. U.S.
Women's National Team. Oh, yeah, I'm thinking Maya Ham.
Maya Ham, sure. The greatest.
Megan Rapinoe. Yeah, Megan Rapinoe.
Yeah. We're going for gold.
I think I'm, like, going to, like, there's no greater, like, no greater, like, feat than representing your country in the World Cup. How old are your kids, by the way? At the time, they were five.
And I was like. No, you know when they're five.
Yeah. Like, there are some Argentinian kids that get signed to, like, Real like Real Madrid.
You know winners and losers as five-year-olds. I thought for sure this guy was about to say, your one daughter, I want to take her to Germany.
Yeah. And she has to train like in the German system.
And he said, listen, your one daughter, Dolly. And I went, yeah.
And he said, she shows no interest in soccer whatsoever. And I feel bad taking your money.
And then a wave of anger came over me. And I said, listen, Coach Jamal, I don't pay you to teach my kids soccer.
I pay you to watch them three hours a week. Just make sure they're alive when I pick them up.
And I don't want to hear from you again. I'm convinced that youth sports and sports in general by extension just occurs because parents want their kids out of the house so they get their kids doing activities as they're growing up and then when they get older now there's a sports league for it is super interesting how kids become tiger woods you know is it parental drive is it personal drive is it both is it i i don't know what it is it's definitely a combo.
My son's going to be a sarcastic dickhead is what we're getting at. My father had athlete's foot.
Tenactin? Tough Actin Tenactin? Remember those John Madden commercials? Tough Actin Tenactin. Step up to the mic with Micaton.
Oh, that's right. Step up to the cure.
Step up to the mic. I like Lotherman AF.
Lotherman is fucked. Listen, commenter, when are you...
When am I squirting one out? I don't even know if my boys can swim, and honestly, that's a blessing. You know, there's only one way to find out.
Listen, I leave a rough and tumble lifestyle right now. I don't know if a kid could look up to me as bad.
I got to tell you, man, your Christmas card with you and your glasses and your baby glasses, I can't wait for that Christmas card. Good point.
Good point. It would be a very cute kid.
I might just clone myself. There you go.
That way I can have a kid without all the pain in the ass of having sex. You can, I mean, what can you do? Can you have like a surrogate? I mean, are you allowed to do that? Well, I have sex, Jerry.
So it's not like, yeah, not to brag or anything. Damn.
I mean, easy. You don't have to show off.
You got a sex addiction? Yeah, yeah. Be a real you are.
You see all the hair? I mean, I would consider a surrogate just because I don't want to stretch out my belly too much. Yeah, right.
Yeah, that's a good idea. So, Jerry, you are taking over for Wendy Williams.
I'm taking over for Wendy Williams. Hey.
Do you have it? How you doing? How you doing? It's not hey. Hey.
Do you have it? Well, I don't know what hey. But do you do it? Do you do it? The how you doing.
There you go. That's what Wendy does.
This is my own show, so I can't take that. I think that's trademarked by Wendy Williams.
I need to come up with a catchphrase. And by the way, the producers are adamant.
Go fuck yourself. I can't do that because it's on Fox.
It's on Fox stations. Fuck Obama.
I can't do that either. They don't want me to get political and stuff.
I can't talk about politics. They don't want me talking about Syria and stuff like that.
So what are you going to talk about? I'm going to talk about pop culture. A lot of BIP, Bachelor in Paradise.
Housewives. A lot of Housewives.
I know you're a favorite there, Kat. I do like it.
Although I have to admit, I haven't watched any of the new episodes. Sure.
Because. Well, watch my show.
I'm going to catch you up. Well, no, my remote, the okay button is broken, so I can't watch anything on DVR.
Really? Yeah. So I've just been stuck.
Can I give you a piece of advice? Yeah. If you're with a major cable company here in New York, you can walk into any retail store they have and they will hand you a free remote.
Sounds like a lot of work. It's really not.
Just Google where the store is. Walk in with the remote and they will literally hand it back to you.
I'd rather just complain about not having a working remote. I'm with Big Cat.
Trying to get a universal remote, that's a week of my life. Crazy, man.
You have a to figure that thing out. Yeah.
You have a universal remote? No, I have a regular remote, but, I mean, getting a new one, come on. I mean, I didn't realize you were that.
No, I have a universal remote. You're rich.
I know that I will never just, I'll never be able to hit the okay button again on my TV. That part of my life is in the past.
When that remote is down, it's a big problem. That's like having plumbing.
A real fun game is when you're a kid. I love you guys.
Fire Fest. That's why we listen.
If you get a universal remote and you can sneak to your neighbor's house and change their channel through the window. Or go to a bar.
Yeah, BYOR. Yeah, yeah.
That would be a power move. All right, so Wendy Williams, Housewives.
How's everything else going? Oh, go ahead. Do you do Top Chef stuff? Oh, we are going to have a Top Chef on there.
I mean, do I do the show? Yeah, do you do a recap of Top Chef? We don't. That's my jam.
I love Top Chef. Do you watch? It's typically, I don't want to offend commenter, but they want more of the gossipy type shows, not like the cooking shows and stuff.
What about Top Chef Junior? Yeah, no, it's a good show obviously but it's just not watching the kids like fuck up and cry it is it is super fun but we it's not really like god like they like to talk about like look who kissed who in the big brother house like that's not the same as like look who made an amazing souffle is the countess gonna say sober uh right count Luann, you're referring to Real Housewives of New York.

That's a question.

That's a topic that we might cover in the- What do you think?

I hope she does.

She's a little preachy about it.

You hope everybody stays-

Yeah, I do too.

I hope she stays sober.

She's a little preachy about it.

Well, a lot of times, I mean, if people get sober in the beginning, they're very proud

and happy of their accomplishments.

Of course.

And they want to tell everyone about it and say, this is a great way of life.

She's a little preachy about it.

Right.

You sort of celebrate it.

You're happy for people happy of their accomplishments. Of course.
And they want to tell everyone about it and say this is a great way of life. She will preach you about it.
You sort of celebrate it. You're happy for people who find.
She judges. Well, you get happy for people who find clarity.
That's a good thing. I'm with Jerry on this one.
She judges. She judges hard.
That's fine. I'm rooting for her.
Thank you. All right.
So fantasy football. Man, do you remember how much crap I got in here when I said I had a thing? Because the last time I won fantasy football, Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards were my team, and that's the last time I won.
You love the Browns. That's right.
So now I just – I've never been to Cleveland in my life. But you have an addiction to drafting Browns players.
I have an addiction to drafting Browns. Now you're good.
I've got to tell you guys. It paid off.
Yeah. We're here, baby.
This should – in your fantasy leagues, no one should be allowed to draft Browns players. Well, you know, that's why I'm in a lot of these keeper leagues.
So guess who gets to keep Baker? Wait, wait, wait. How many leagues are you in? You said a lot of keeper leagues.
I'm in like six leagues. That's tough.
There's no way you remember to update each one. It's unbelievable.
I don't talk to my kids for like 16 weeks. Like forget Like, forget about it.
I don't let them use data in our house. They're like, hey, I want to watch YouTube.
And I'm like, turn your iPads off. Daddy's got to do this muck draft.
Yeah, it's a waiver wire tonight. You can't be eating up my 4G.
Oh, I'm a big fan of that waiver wire week one and two. I think that's how teams are won.
Exactly. I agree with that 100%.
I picked up in week one last year one of my favorite Browns.

Help me pronounce it.

David Njoku.

Njoku.

He's a current guest of the show.

I know.

Where you're at in the old studio.

I feel the power.

Okay.

And we have Baker actually.

By the way, he is going to be.

A stud?

Oh, a stud.

A stud.

Give me a couple more of your sleepers before we do this Mount Rush one.

Baker Mayfield.

Odell.

This guy named Odell.

Did you say that you used Jarvis?

I got to say, there's this running back named Nick Chubb.

Yeah, Duke Johnson just got traded.

I know.

Yeah, it's a lot of upsets.

But with the Texans.

Duke Johnson probably going to have a good year, too.

I got to say, I've been in such turmoil in the last few years.

And by the way, you know I only draft Browns and I've never been to Cleveland.

Do you want to go to the next one? Duke Johnson probably going to have a good year, too. I got to say, I've been in such turmoil in the last few years.

And by the way, you know I only draft Browns,

and I've never been to Cleveland.

Duke Johnson has been my RB1 for the last seven years. Oh, really?

So that is why you stink.

And sometimes my RB2 slot would be old Theo Riddick.

Yeah.

Duke Johnson, he gets like eight touches a game.

I think we went over this,

but it does make sense why you're in so many leagues, because everyone's like, we need someone to just give some money. That's the guy.
We need his 200. Yeah.
Everyone can, you know what? We'll just split all his money. Remember when I came here and I told you my drafting technique where I only draft rounds and you guys were like, hey, well, let's start a league.
Yeah, yeah. Let's go.
Let's go. Hey, it's a three-man league.
All right. So you want to do the Mount Rushmore? Let's do it.
All right. So it's the Mount Rushmore of draft positions you want in a 12-draft league.
We're going to let you go first. It's a snake draft.
Sure. Which is also, we're assuming this is a snake draft.
I don't know anyone who doesn't draft snake draft. So you're going to go.
Well, I'm in an auction draft. Okay.
And it's really...

Should we auction draft?

We can auction draft.

Hold on a second.

It's super impossible.

Auction draft to snake draft?

It's really funny.

I kind of like that.

I do so many mock auction drafts.

I know I'm here to talk about the Jerry O's show

on Fox Stations, Wendy Williams slot,

but a majority of my time is...

That's a pro.

A majority of my time is spent doing mock auction drafts, which I don't know if you've done one lately. They take about two or three hours a piece.
Okay, so let's do this. The Mount Rushmore of draft positions you want in a 12-player league, but we will auction draft the Mount Rushmore so everyone gets $100.
Well, listen, let me tell you this. Here's the problem.
This is why you can't do this with an auction draft. You guys are at us like you guys are idiots.
This is going to be way too complicated. Wait, so what's your idea? My idea is we just take – so there are four of us that are doing this Mount Rushmore right now, right? No, Hank's not doing it.
Hank's not doing it? Yeah, yeah. Okay, three of us.
There are three of us. So if you want to have the first pick in the Mount Rushmore, then we're putting that up for auction right now.
I guess it doesn't make sense because then you just spend all your money.

All right, let's just do the regular stuff.

I'm still starting.

You start.

Oh, you're still here.

Shit.

That was one of those always sunnies where me and PFT are just talking.

I just had an edible before I came in here

and it just hit me.

I don't know where I am.

It's a contact time for us.

The gang doesn't understand math.

All right, first pick you.

Go.

First pick in the draft

that I'm putting up for an auction draft

or I have the first pick. You have the first pick.
I have the first pick. I am going to take Le'Veon.
No. Okay.
All right. Good thought.
I appreciate that. He's going to have a good year, I think.
No, it's numbers. We're saying numbers.
What position in a draft would you want to take? Oh, what position? Yeah. I'm going to want to take number three.
There we go. Okay, in a 12-team league.
I thought you were about to say QB. I want number three.
All right, I'll take number one. All right, a lot of pressure on number one.
You like that? Well, typically number one. You're not going to lose with number one.
Okay. All right.
Okay. I'm going to take it.
In the past, AP has been injured. I mean, I'm going back a few years, but you definitely picked AP in your first round last year.
Well, no. I'm saying in the past, first round draft picks are not always.
It's true. It's true.
Okay, mine. This was actually going to be my number one pick.
I'm going to pick two. I like picking second.
You're close to the turn when it comes back on you. Plus, you let the guy in front of you make the big decision that you've been wondering about.
Right? So it's like, usually when you pick second, everybody knows that's the correct pick for you. Right.
So I like picking second. For my second pick, I'm going to take number 12, because I like doubling up at the end of it.
Alright, I'll take pick number 11 for my second pick. Good pick.
Thanks. Second pick, I'll take number 13.
I want to be right. No, no, no.
It's a 12-team draft. So you can take 12-team draft.
So you're either taking like 1-12 or 13-team. No, no, no.
12 goes 13. So if you're 12th position, then you take 12 and 13 when it's coming back.
Oh, I see. So by 12, I get both 12 and 13.
If you take one, then you get both 1 and 24 or whatever. Right.
So the numbers that have been picked are 1, 2, 3, 11, and 12. Okay, I see.
So coming around. You get two picks now.
I am going to take – wait, you're having me do so much. Why did this turn for math class, guys? I need a calculator on my watch.
We're not math guys either. I am going to take – wait, you're having me do so much.
Why did this turn for math class, guys?

I need a calculator on my watch.

We're not math guys either.

I am going to take, I guess, 16.

No.

Wait, hold on a second.

1 through 12.

It has to be number 1 through 12.

It has to be 1 through 12, yes.

Where would you like to be in your draft order, 1 through 12?

If it gets randomized, it's like, Jerry, here is your position. What do you want that number to be? And I already said number three.
Right. So you get two more picks here because of Mount Rushmore.
Oh, I see. So I get two more picks.
Don't worry. What we're doing is very stupid and very confusing.
So it's not on you. So I'm also picking again in 1 through 12.
Yes. Okay.
Two picks picks i will go with number one no i already got one so i have to pick like i have to just go down a list it's the dumbest idea ever i know i'll take four i'll take four nice pick jerry thank you yeah and then what's your other pick i'll take number five yeah all right i'll take uh you know what other pick? I'll take number five. I'll take you know what? I'll take I'll take ten.
Fuck, that was going to be my pick. Yeah, I'll take ten.
I'm going to take eight and nine. Okay, then I'll take I'll take six right in the middle and then you get seven.
That was the dumbest Mount Rushmore we've ever done. I thought that was great.
I don't want seven. I want eleven.
No, I already got taken. I took 11.
Sorry, I wasn't keeping four at that point. Your numbers were three, four, five, and seven.
That's pretty good. Hey, I got to say, Kat, you have like a photographic memory that you didn't like.
Well, not that many numbers. But yeah, I agree.
This was, thank you for doing that with us because it was just the dumbest idea we've had. It was really informative.
It actually, it really helped me get a strategy. I feel like I'm ready to jump into any of my drafts.
It's a mock-mock draft. This goes back to the original Mount Rushmore we ever did.
We did a Mount Rushmore of the seasons, which there's only four picks. So I don't even know what we did.
Remember, we were parodying Mount Rushmore. Yeah, as a group, we just listed four.
We gave our reasons why. So we're back to square one.
Were you able to do like winter, fall, or just like in between? Yeah, like that first snowfall when it's fresh. Right.
Yeah. Because then there would be eight seasons.
Yeah. That's true.
That's true. That one day in February where it's like 60 degrees.
Right, right. The pre-season is awesome.
Probably not a hoax. Yeah.
Don't say that. You're going to be on Fox.
As a celebrity, are you big against global warming while you take private jets everywhere? I've never been on a private jet. I was going to say that a lot.
Speaking of which, I saw you guys recently posted. You were way in the back.
It looked like Spirit Airlines. It was bad.
It was basically Spirit. It was bad.
You were in the last row. Yeah, it kept us humble.
I was in the middle seat, too. You really were.
People were asking me, like, why are you being a beta? Why are you in the middle seat? It's like, hey, I sit where I'm told to sit. But, you know, a lot of celebrity types like yourself, I mean, post getting onto private jets and videos and stuff.
And you guys post, I mean, legit last row. Yeah, I'm very coachable.
And I got to say, I don't't know what the airline was but I did see like a coin slot at the bathroom door there so you needed like a token to go into the bathroom I would rather get stuck in any city in America than fly Spirit Air that's a fact I mean I'm not sponsored by them is it bad if I talk about Spirit Air go? No, no, no. Go for it.
I mean, I'm about to have a... But I once flew the aforementioned airline.
It's so funny. My wife, my wife, is from Northern California.
And I live, I told you, in Southern California in Calabasas. We were going up to Northern California from Southern California.
I went to the travel website. I noticed that one airline was about $200 less than all the other airlines.
So I clicked on it and bought it, not thinking much of it. I had never flown that airline before.
Went to the gate, got there, and my wife immediately said, did you buy us tickets on Spirit Air? And I was like, have you lost money in a Ponzi yeah and she was like why did you do that and i was like come on whatever it's all the same it's just it's like a half hour flight it'll be fine no no it's not she's almost worse than it's short she was like we're never getting out of this airport correct and i was like what are you talking about and she was like jerry no no like by the way my wife was in a situation where her ex flew her privately everywhere.

Right.

I was gonna say Rebecca Romaine is your wife yes and so you're putting you're loading her onto spirit airlines she was in her previous relationship on only flew privately right so what what portion of the paperwork are you with your divorce? Anyway, we got there. Everyone's there.
I get to the gate. It's about 10 minutes to board.
And I noticed the ticket agent was there, but nothing. There was no action.
The door was still closed. And I went, hey, we're going to Oakland.
I'm here. When are we going to be boarding? And she was like, what time's the flight? And I was like, it's a flight now.
It's the one 10 minutes from now. And she was like, are you kidding? And I was like, no.
And she was like, you have to come back in like four or five hours. Yeah, it's gone.
This isn't happening for four or five hours. She went, what time is your flight? And I was like, it's now.
And she was like, yeah. Yeah, come on.
It's going to be a few hours. So even if you show up like within 30 minutes of your flight they do a cattle call where you go to the gate and they bring you all back there at once so if you show up like that like 30 minutes before your flight you've already missed it yeah i've missed flights that way because you have to read the plus they charge you for everything you bring on the everything if you want to wear a shirt on the plane that'll be 30 bucks everything you would.
You go wear pants, fancy boy. All right, that's another $20.

Also weird, I've never sat on a bench in a plane.

An aluminum bench.

Yeah.

That's what they do.

And the seatbelts were weird.

It's just that rope you tie.

And it's like however tight you tie yourself, that's depending on your safety.

I've never been on a convertible plane before.

Yeah, it's tough.

All right, Jerry, where can people see you when you're doing Wendy Williams? Box stations, Wendy Williams time slot, man, cat and commenter. You're the best.
You're the best. You are my Mount Rushmore.
What's up, bro? That can be your intro. Before a catchphrase? Yeah.
What about something with Jerry? Because my name is Jerry O'Connell. Yeah, Jerry O'Connell.
Like, Jerry, oh, no, you did! Oh! That's pretty good. Have you been practicing that? A little bit.
Yeah, I was going to say. That was too good to not have practiced.
What about like Jerry O'Snap? Jerry O'Snap. Yeah.
Ooh. That's good too.
Jerry O. Heck yeah.
Yeah. Ooh, I like that.
I like that. These are all good.
These are all winners. Maybe the first show is you just testing all these out.
What about like if I come up to like you or like people in the audience and I go, it's ticklele time. And then I come in and I just tickle you like crazy.
We'll come for that. We'll be your designated ticklers.
We'll wear a shirt that says ticklers and we'll just tickle everyone. Cat and commenter, I love you guys so much.
I love you too, Jared. Thank you for coming in.
Appreciate it. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Barstool Golf Time app now. And now Morton Anderson.
And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on Pro Football Hall of Famer, a very special guest.
It is Morton Anderson. You remember him from playing three decades in the NFL.
Thank you for joining us. You're wearing the Hall of Fame shirt.
How many of those do you have and do you wear it all the time? Because that's nice flex. I got the polos I got a few of.
I got two gold jackets and there's a couple of reasons for that. Okay.
As soon as I got my first one, which I was inducted in 2017, class of 17, I get my gold jacket and I commence to spill red wine right away on it. Okay.
That doesn't come off. No.
That does not come off. So you then got a second.
Yeah. Well, then I got a second.
Cigar ashes. Okay.
And then I got a second one. It took me a while to get a second one.
So I'm at the NFC Championship game with this second gold jacket now, hanging out with Jimmy Buffett. We're excited.
The Saints are winning. Rams have not yet kind the thing away from us.
Right. And I'm up visiting some suites and just hanging out and glad-handing and being a gold jacket.
You know what I mean? Right. So I'm walking down the hallway with Jimmy and there's these metal frames that have the signs of the corporate sponsors that have the sweets.

And as I go past one of these metal frames,

it rips a giant hole in my right.

This is my second jacket now.

Okay.

So now this thing is flapping and,

and Jimmy's like,

I can,

I can fix it.

I got some glue,

you know,

and he's one of his handlers,

man.

So,

you know,

he tries to fix it.

It's not working. So I said, screw it.
Just let it hang. Right.
Did you ask for a third one? Now I'm on my third one. I haven't gotten it yet.
You've got to sell the first two. Yeah.
But I've also gotten lipstick on my left shoulder on the second one. Nice.
So it's a kaleidoscope of issues. My wife's lipstick.
Okay. Mind you.
Okay. I mean, you know.
Yeah, still, it's a nice flex. Be like, lipstick on anything makes you look more masculine.
Can I ask an important question, though? Except for your lips, maybe. What was the score when you ripped your jacket? It was still, it hadn't gone to overtime.
Did we go to overtime? Was it before or after the controversial pass interference? Before. So everybody's happy, you know, cocktails.
Everybody's feeling pretty sweet. I think we got to the bottom of the list.
Your jacket, yeah, you're the reason. I may be the reason that we had seven blind mice there.
I don't know. Yeah, I'll take the blame.
So you said we. Now you played obviously for the Falcons as well.
You played for a few different teams, but Falcons and Saints are rivals. Three decades, yeah.
So who is we? Do you also go to Atlanta, and are you treated we? Do you say we for them? You have like a million teams. You're the Trill Ballins Twitter avatar of teams.
Yes. The only time I don't say we is when the Saints and the Falcons play each other.
I don't go to those games because it's – how do you walk that line? Right. Well, what do you do? You're going to get your ass kicked in the game.
Who do you root for? I usually root for the home team. So if I was to go to the game – Nice cop out.
That's a chicken shit move. Yeah, yeah.
That is. That is.
It is weak. Yeah, at least you admit it.
It's weak, bud. No, it's kind of weak.
So I stay at home in my man cave, and I wear my gold jacket, and I burn more holes in it. I like it.
The funny thing is if you spilled red wine on your jacket around Jimmy Buffett, I guarantee you he's got a kit on hand to take care of the red wine steak. He does.
Jimmy Buffett is a guy that he can take care of whatever alcohol you spill. You know what the coolest thing was? About a week after I got back from the game, I'm at home.
All of a sudden, this big box arrives from Margaritaville, Inc. I'm like, this is sweet.
Yes. Because I know what's in the box.
I mean, it's Jimmy Buffett. It's a party, yeah.
It's a party in a box. Party in a box, yeah.
Right. It's a commercial-grade, hardcore margarita margarita mixer maker yep it's got like this swirly thing that that you know transfers from from one compartment into this other thing and then it was great man perfect for the man cave like you had to like tractor yeah lawnmower yeah so cool 382 games played.
Is that still the most? That's still, as far as I know, Adam Vinichieri is kind of like clipping them off as we talk. Got my points, got my field goals.
I think I still got the games. Okay.
So I got that going for him. Yeah, we got to hold on to that.
We don't know how many of his field goals came on deflated balls, though. That's the thing.
There might be an asterisk on that. I think he had already left for the Colts.
He had, but that was the first time they got caught. We don't know how long the Patriots have been doing it beforehand.
You're on your own on this one. Yeah, I'm just saying.
Hey, I'm trying to stand up for you. I hear you.
You might be the rightful heir to that title. I mean, I played for all three commissioners, which I think is kind of cool.
That is cool. I started with Burt Bell.
No, I didn't. I started with Roselle, and then Tagliabue, of course, and now Goodell.
So, 80s, 90s, new millennium. It's crazy.
Five or six guys, I think. I looked it up.
And the craziest part about your career is in 1994, you get cut by the Saints, and people are sayingon anderson's over the hill yeah and then you play another 12 13 seasons the crazy thing about 95 was that the saints you know when you get cut in the nfl the team has to give you documentation on why they cut you so um they give me this piece of paper and there are are these boxes, and they have to check one. The particular box that was checked on my account was diminishing skills, other players better.
That was kind of the knock on me in 95. Yep.
So I'm on a value jet back when value jet was still flying from New Orleans to Atlanta as soon as you know that went down. Right.
Falcons signed me new signing bonus and then we you know play the Saints twice. And you had that one game against the Saints after they cut you and say diminishing skills.
Could make the 50. Three 50 yarder pluses.
Yeah. I mean that's pretty good.
That That's a great revenge game. And actually, there was a couple of signs in the Georgia Dome.
One was revenge, like you just said. A kicker revenge game is unreal.
You don't get those. It's a stretch.
Yeah, no, no, that happened. And then the other one was, what were you snorting when you got rid of Morton? I like that one.
I think that's a good sign. Yes, that's a very good sign.
That's a very good sign. I love it.
I actually think that you probably could have kept kicking for a little bit longer. So you were going for the – 50.
I was trying to get to 50. Yeah.
Did you think that it was going to happen? Did you think somebody was going to sign? I did until March of – when I was 48. And I started preparing in March for my 26th season.
Blander played 26 years, less games because he played less games. I think it was 12 a season.
14, yeah, yeah, yeah. 14 a season.
So I could not prepare to be great anymore. My plant leg was shot.
I couldn't recruit power through the ball. And I had just come off two pretty good years, 06, 07.

07 was my most accurate year.

Now, granted, I wasn't hitting 60 yarders, but still, it was my best year in 25 years.

And the way I had gotten there, guys, was pretty cool. I don't know.

Do you mind if I tell you a cool story?

Yeah, absolutely.

This story is pretty cool.

Yeah.

So in 2004, I'm with the Vikings. I have a good year.

I think I missed two field goals all year.

So I'm thinking I might be back with the Vikings.

I might not but

my wife and kids are in Atlanta.

Let me see if I can get Atlanta to

buy it. Let me see if I can

sell myself on them. So I'm

here in 2005 in Atlanta.

I start training. Basically it would start in March.
Now i wouldn't put foot to ball until june 1st and there was a reason for that you can kick yourself out in the off season really i did but i would do yeah you did that yeah i can't kick 50 year field goals anymore too many kicks yeah foot to ball you should have listened yeah i was functional training guys so i was doing everything but foot to ball um so i would functional train march march april june i'm thinking the phone's gonna ring right away phone doesn't ring it doesn't ring for two months it doesn't ring for 20 months so now 2005 i don't play and i'm sitting there and the guys are missing left and right i can't believe I can't get a call. But I'm ready.
I'm ready just in case somebody calls and says, hey, come in and do the thing. So now we're in 2006.
I'm a year older. I'm 46 now.
I'm sitting in my basement with my neighbor, Eric, and we're watching the Falcons play the Bucs.

The guy from the Falcons is having a really shitty day.

He missed four field goals inside of 40 yards.

I turned to Eric at that point, my neighbor, and I said,

hey, I'm switching to water.

He goes, why, man?

I go, the phone's going to ring in 20 minutes after this game is over.

And he said, bullshit, it hasn't rang in 20 months. I said, all right, we'll see.
Then the fucking phone rang. It rang.
Right after the game? Hey, man, can you come in tomorrow at 9 o'clock for a workout? I said, how about, you know, I'm buying myself time because I've got to get hydrated. So I said, well, how about 2 o'clock? He said, all right, 2 o'clock.
So I think it's just me, and they want to see if the leg's still attached to the hip. It's not.
It's me and four flat bellies, half my age. Now, I'm 46.
These guys are, well, that's what, you know. Yeah, yeah.
No, I like that. That's a great phrase.
Yeah, yeah. They're 23, 22, right out of college.
I'm 46, and I've been grinding 20 months in a public park. Now, let me set the stage and the humility that I was going through for those 20 months.
Imagine wearing your Pro Bowl jersey, and I had seven of them at that time, to a public park. I had Kenny Stabler's shoulder pads.
I had a Saints helmet. I had, you know, Giants pants from 2001 when I was with the Giants because I always practiced like I wanted to play.
Wear the shit you're going to wear in the game. Wear it and practice.
So I'm out at George Pierce Park in this outfit, and I would have to defer the field to the little leaguers and their parents when they needed the field. I would have to bribe the county workers to cut the grass.
Unreal.

So that was my mentality for 20 months. All right? That's the back story on it.
So back to the call from the Falcons. Now, I'm ready.
I'm totally ready to go and very motivated. By the way, I'm 77 points away from becoming the all-time leading scorer in the history of the game.
Nice little carrot, too. Yeah, absolutely.
So I go out there at 2 o'clock for the workout, and here are these four flat bellies, half my age, and it's mano a mano. And we hit 15 balls, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, and back in.
There was an orange stripe on the net between the uprights. It signals the middle.

I always like the middle.

Why?

It never changes.

Good point.

Hit 14 out of 15 on the stripe.

The 15th kind of grazed.

But goes through.

Goes through.

So I'm 15th. I feel pretty good.

So I turn around, and everybody's standing there.

Coach Moore is standing there.

Rich McKay, a bunch of scouts. And I could see the four flat bellies kind of got discouraged exit right yep and i felt good i turned around and said questions anyone and my special teams coach george uh de camillus uh joe de camillus goes yeah i have one question black or blue ink love it i love it black ink i signed a one-year deal for the minimum uh-huh and three months later in the georgia dome on i think middle of december against the cowboys i kicked the what at the time was just an extra point but very meaningful that that allowed me to become the all-time leading scorer in the history of the game incredible that's i mean just the, just the visual of you being out there, pro football Hall of Famer.
Obviously, you're not a Hall of Famer yet, but people know you're a legend at a public park, kicking field goals, bribing county workers. It's unbelievable.
But the juice, you know, the whole thing was, hey, what if I had – it could have been a shit show, right? Because if I had not prepared myself in those 20 months, now I get a chance.

Now it's embarrassing.

Could you imagine a field day you guys would have had on my behalf?

Right.

If I'm all over the place.

Right.

But I went in there.

I was ready to go and got it done.

So the satisfaction was really, I mean, big.

So you spent all this time training to get back because you had some goals you wanted to hit, obviously.

But I have to also think that if you're willing to dedicate 20 months of training without getting a call, there's something that you actually like about stepping out onto a field and kicking a ball and watching you go through the uprights. That's got to be satisfaction for you.
Correct. But much more deeper than that, man, is like the human element of improvement.
How do you improve more than normal? Your back has to be against the wall. It's not when your hands are above your head.
Everything's going fucking great. That's not when you're getting it done.
It's when you're down, man, and nobody believes in you. I like that.
In the military, we call it the world of suck. Okay.
The world of suck you've got to embrace. Yeah.
You guys do radio. You do a really good job, I think.
Thank you. I'm a fan.
Appreciate it. We do embrace the suck on this show.
Yeah, yeah. You embrace the suck sometimes because you run out of questions.
Now what? Right. Right.
I only have one more. You've got to dig yourself.
Yeah. I think we'll be all right.
Yeah, yeah. We'll be okay.
But, you know, you might have run into a guest, and I've got a couple in mind maybe that you can relate to. Yes, yes.
No names need to be mentioned. Yes, yes.
Jack Prescott. Yeah, yeah.
Marina. Yeah, yeah.
Yup. Yup.
Yup. And you gotta you gotta turn into it sometimes

you gotta embrace the sock

you gotta embrace the sock and just curl the toes man and go that's fantastic how long a field goal do you think you could kick right now as long as you need brother how 40 yards are we winning the game are we just going up 3-0 you know 36 yards specifically is that what Is that what it was? Yeah. 36 yards.
Yeah, yeah. No, 43.
43. 43 the Bears.
43 yards. 43 yards.
Oh, yeah. The Bears and the uprights.
Yes. So I have my very distinct opinion on why he kept hitting the uprights.
Okay. Let's hear it.
And you may have heard it already. Okay.
Because the Bears aren't good at scouting talent, and they kept them on the team. No, because in practice, he would practice hitting the uprights.
It's true. You're right, yeah.
So you never tried that. So your mind, you know.
You were right down the middle all the time. Aim for the middle, why? It never changes.
So about that, Cody Parkey, obviously, and we've seen it with many kickers, the yips and getting in your own head. Did you ever go through anything like that? So you haven't gone through anything like that.
But when you watch someone going through that –

I usually –

Like what's your thought on sitting there watching someone just struggle so mightily?

What would your advice be to the person?

Take up golf, man.

You stink.

Yeah, yeah.

But it's always fascinating to watch.

It is hard to – and a lot of the young guys, they get in their own way, man.

And it's not that complicated, you know. Kipke is a good example in golf, right? Yeah, our guy.
Yeah. Just, hey, whatever.
Right. Just get out there and hit balls.
I trust my skill. Right.
I trust that I'm really good. And when the lights come on, I'm just going to go out and be me.
Sometimes you overanalyze the paralysis by analysis, all that bullshit. I think more importantly is to be in the moment and be present.
Right. Be present.
Right. And a kicker needs to really recruit his dominant response, his dominant behavior for a very short period of time.
Most of my time is on the sideline, guys, drinking Gatorade, looking at cheerleaders, you know. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, going, oh, shit, it's, you know, fourth down. I got to go.
I mean, it really is a very 1.2 seconds from snap to kick. So I probably in a year play maybe 10 minutes.
Well, how are those 10 minutes? They better be really good, right, to get it done. So for me, the advice I have to these guys that go through, like you said, the yips or the doubting themselves is just to stay in the moment and have a short-term memory.
Do you think the extra point moving back has had anything to do with kickers maybe having a little more problems? Because I would assume going out for an extra point is just a nice –

it's almost like getting a layup in basketball.

Just see the ball go through the hoop.

Yeah, and here's the reason why it's an issue for these guys.

It's no longer an extra point.

It is a 33-yard field goal.

I tell my guys that.

It's not an extra point.

Forget that you only get one point.

You have to treat this as a 33-yard field goal. In the NFL, you're expected to make everything inside of 40 yards.
10 out of 10, or you're going to be unemployed. That's a fact.
Those are your money kicks. Is it sexy to have a 64-yarder? Hell, yeah, it's sexy as hell.
You're walking proof of it. It's cool.
You're sexy as hell. Thank you.
Yeah,'re walking around with this pro football polo, which I love. Yeah.
I actually might get one of those. I can just buy one.
Are you a medium? XL. Yeah, medium.
Medium. Good.
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Yep. Yep.
Yep. Yep.
No, but you're right. Like, there is 40 and in.
If you don't hit it, everyone's like, what the hell? And you better have some swagger 40 and in, man. Yeah.
Come on. You got to own it.
Really kick it in. That's your workbench.
You better own that shit. You better own 40 and in.
And then once you got that, you've earned the right to go outside of 40. I tell my guys that in practice.
They want to be out there banging 55s, 57s. What are you doing? How about a 38 from the right hash? How about a 39, a 34, a 37 from the middle?

Show me you can make 10 out of 10, and then we'll talk about going past 40 yards.

Right.

So you do actually have an enormous amount of swagger for a kicker.

Yes.

Absolutely.

Did you ever get any shit from your teammates being like, hey, man, you're a kicker.

Why are you dripping all the swag on me?

No, not at all, because they knew when it came down to it you know that they could count on me man you know a lot of guys say hey man they call time out on you what do you know did that affect you at all like the icing they iced you and i said you can't ice ice that's great great saying i love that swagger can't ice great dane can't ice you've been in the ice man yeah great you know the cold so if you i know the cold yeah i know distasteful i spent 20 months in it and then i smelled the sweet success right but it gets better when you have to work for it it it feels better when you've failed. To me, I mean, if my hands were on my head for 25 years, is that interesting? Right.
That's not really interesting to me. Don't you think that failure is really kind of a cool thing? Yeah, no.
And it builds swagger? Yeah. I think it does.
If you bounce back from failure, then yeah, absolutely. You are swagged out.
And if you don't, it's, you know. It's the end of the run.
That's a pity. Go play golf somewhere.
Yeah. I wanted to talk quickly about the NFC Championship game, Falcons-Vikings, because you make the winning kick, but your brother, Gary Anderson, misses it in a famous way.
I know he's not actually your brother. He's from South Africa.
He misses it in a famous way. I know he's not actually your brother, but he misses it in a famous way.

I assume you guys were friends

and what was

it like talking with him after that?

Didn't see him. I was too

busy running around with the

NFC trophy over my head.

But maybe a couple months passed.

I did feel bad for him.

I felt terrible that

because he was 35 for 35. Right.
And that team was, maybe you could say, besides the 16-0 Patriots, probably the best team to not win a Super Bowl. That team was lights out, the Vikings.
I told Gary, I said, you should have taken my route, man, and missed a bunch in the beginning of the season. Pressure would have been off.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Do you think that affected him, the fact that he was perfect all year? I don't. I haven't actually spoken to him about the specific 38-yard field goal he missed.
Same spot I made mine in overtime. Exact same spot.
Left hash. Crazy.
Right. He just pulled it slightly, man.
It was, you know. You'd think, though hit like being perfect all year then getting to that moment the moment was big it's a huge moment and you've been perfect all year so it's they would have gone up by 10 you always talk about it with teams like if they had lost in the regular season maybe they win the championship you know what i mean like you know you see in college basketball or the patriots like we just said oh like if they lose that game to the giants then they maybe beat them in the super bowl You know, I mean? Like, you know, you see it in college basketball or the Patriots, like we just said, if they lose that game to the Giants, then they maybe beat them in the Super Bowl.
You know, I still bust balls a bunch of the guys from that team of the Vikings, and they were the best offensively that year. They broke all kinds of records.
John Randall, Randy Moss. Chris Carter.
Chris Carter. And particularly those three guys I see every year in Canton, Ohio.
And just kind of remind mostly John Randall because John is great. John is, you know, fucking John Randall with the mask.
I mean, come on. Very intimidating.
Absolutely. Yeah, but just a great dude.
And as soon as he sees me, he goes, no, no, you're not going to. No, you're not saying no.
Fuck you, man. He starts running away from me.
I go, I won't. And then so I leave him hanging because he knows it's coming at some point during that weekend.
And I'll just make a nasty reference to that game. One time I wore the NFC Championship game, and I just kind of flashed it for me like i kind of sat there right in front of him oh what's that that's that's that's oh this one yeah it's we we lost it damage to lose a ring but you didn't even get that did you yeah and then yeah this is actually my second one the other one punching jimmy buffett in the face in a bra But it was – yeah, he's good.
It must be awesome going to Canton every year. You know, it's like a big frat party.
Well, not a frat party, but kind of a nicely mannered frat party with a few scary elements here and there. Jerry Jones.
You know, I'm not going to go into – that would be – you know, can't go into – Right. We're not going to tell any tales out of school here.
Yeah. But good time for sure.
A lot of stories and, you know, a few cocktails being slung back and forth. And I can't believe I'm there, man.
A freaking specialist who spends his life kicking a football. And I'm there with Roger Staubach and Emmitt Smith and Jim Brown

and God bless him, Walter Payton, man, if he had been around.

I met him many times, played Pro Bowls with Walter Payton,

one of the funniest, funniest guys you'll ever meet.

That is great that you have a yearly party that's always scheduled just to remind you how how lucky you are to be in that place that's got to be a cool feeling always something to look forward to so so cool and it made me realize i played with or against everybody yeah uh-huh three decades it's you know jan my wife she goes you played with everybody i said i i know. I either played with them or against them or absolutely met them at some point in a uniform somewhere.
Jan Stennerud's the other kicker in the hall from Norway, Kansas City Chiefs. And him and I have a picture where I was like my rookie year with the Saints and he was with the Vikingsikings and we were you know 18 19 years removed but i played i played with kenny stapler i played with archie manning archie manning yeah that's crazy like peyton and eli used to come out to practice with archie and hang out and they were like eight and ten or something i mean you know this thing goes back a long, long ways.
Yeah. It's really cool.
Who was your favorite teammate through all the years? Clay Matthews Sr. Ooh, there you go.
There it is. I just dated myself big time, right? Yeah.
Clay was funny. We used to do practical jokes on each other.
I would do the classic hot bomb in his jockstrap. Yeah.
Didn't like that it on his guy stuff it's tough so he got me back he went in so our days are for tuesday he he went in he had this confetti bomb ricked to my helmet with fishing line transparent fishing line hit it out of sight had a carpenter had like one of the equipment guys like drill holes in my uh locker like you know and did these spools with the fishing line that was attached to this uh confetti bomb so when i ripped my helmet off uh the hook yeah it would it hangs there you know i would never notice it i would go off it with great fanfare and a big bang and go, ba-boom, you know. So, Wednesday, of course, here comes practice.
And I noticed he was sitting in it because usually he goes out early because the old guys, we need more time to warm up. So, he's still sitting on his stool, kind of just pretending he's, you know, kind of taping his wrist.
He's just waiting. He's looking up every couple seconds.
He you know kind of taping his wrist he's just waiting he's looking up every couple seconds he's just kind of you know his locker was like one block over if you will so i i pull this thing it goes off i mean scared the living shit out of me boom confetti goes flying everywhere and all i can hear is clay clay. You know.
Got you. Oh, it's great stuff.
Love it. I love that stuff.
All right, my last question. We were talking beforehand, so you are still busy doing a bunch of stuff, and you're working with some stuff in Vegas, correct? Actually out of Copenhagen.
Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, well, they're in the U.S.
market now, Better Collective. Okay.
B-E-T-T-R, Collective. Okay.
Bettercollective.com, very cool company out of Copenhagen. They've been around for 15 years in Europe, in the U.K.
Through their affiliate marketing and their partners, they've bought some companies over here in the U.S. now with the repeal of PAFTA, and now it's up to the individual states largely to decide what they want to do with online gambling.
Better Collective has entered the U.S. and has hired me as their U.S.
ambassador. And what they try to do is to enable the iGamer in a transparent fashion to help them to educate them.
We have tipsters that will help the iGamer. I always love hot tips.
Yeah. Guys, and they will reward the tipsters based on their performance.
Hell yeah. So it's very transparent, very objective.
We've taken all the power away from the offshore bookies and gotten rid of the darkness and made it light.

Love it.

Now we're all going to get rich. Made it entertaining.
Yeah. Now, yeah.
We're going to cash in, baby. Yeah.
The right way. Yes.
You know? I'll probably still lose. But to enable.
So go check out Better Collective. Okay.
And on their website, they have all their affiliate partners and done a really nice job. And I'm proud to be part of them.
That Danish mentality of due diligence, of doing it the right way, doing your research, not being in a hurry, right? 20 months in the park, hello. Not perhaps wanting or needing to have the result right now, but understanding that small wins equals great success,

baby steps, what a lot of little is,

that's better collected than me.

I didn't know that was the Danish mentality.

I learned something today.

So very detail-oriented, focused on the end.

Correct.

You like the process.

Also process.

The process, but you're not chasing after anything too immediate.

Take your time.

I like the Danish mentality. The other thing I learned about the Danish after anything too immediate.
Take your time. Yep.
I like the Danish mentality.

The other thing I learned about the Danish culture today is that you have the greatest

accent ever.

Your accent is awesome.

Are you flirting?

No, I'm not flirting, but you sound like in Die Hard.

I feel like I'm with the...

Cool.

Actually, this might be too forward of me, but we do some voiceovers when we make videos.

Would you do one for us?

Oh, are you kidding me?

Do you do voiceover work? I never have, but I would do it. You are an exclusive voiceover guy.
Cool. You have an awesome accent.
I mean, I know I can't be a Blake, so I don't want to go there. No, you're not a Blake.
I know. I get that.
I get that. You're not a Blake.
The Blake's don't have the Danish mentality. No, you're not a Blake.
Yeah. Listen.
What about a Danish Blake? You can't force. No, no.
We don't have a Blake. We don't even got to go there.
We'll tell you. How do you spell that? It would be B-L-J-A-K.
I like that. We'll let you know if you ever become a Blake.
Baby steps. Yes, but I actually want you to do our voiceovers because we always do it ourselves and it sucks.
So you got the voice for it. It does sound very comforting.
Yeah. I like it.
Cool. Actually, I have a voiceover thing for you.
All right, go ahead. Do it real quick.
Go ahead. As long as we're not doing karaoke.
Bring up the twin karaoke. I can sing.
My last question, out of all the kickers in the game right now, which one do you think has the most Morton Anderson in them? Swagger? Man, I would say Justin Tugger in Baltimore. Adam Inateri has been around for a long time so i i like his staying power matt bryant he's done now but he he had some he was around for a while yeah he was banging but you know he was 44 and hitting 55 yarders like they were 40 artists right yeah so the new the 50 yarders are like the new 40 yarders and the 60 yarders you're gonna see a bunch of 60 yarders this year guys yeah and the browns and that was a great interview by the way with baker made oh thank you yeah we love appreciate it that was a good one um did did you ever wear the single bar face mask no two two bars double bar lots of room you can get a fist through right you know right there right but my teeth were safe yeah did you ever get hit in the face you Did you ever get punched? No.
Two concussions, one by a guy.

I won't name it.

That doesn't matter.

Back when the Houston Oilers, guy short set on a kickoff.

So I'm opening kickoff against the Oilers.

I kick a touchback, as Gary, your premium, would say.

I kick it.

My head is down.

I'm trying to regain balance, and this guy just absolutely annihilates me, separates my shoulders, bruises two ribs. I have a concussion, not from the hit but from me hitting the astroturf.
And when I woke up, I'm like looking out of the ear hole. Right.
And, of course, back then there was no concussion protocol. Just here's some smelling salt and go on with your business.
That's what we do too. Right.
Yeah. You know.
All right. I got your first voiceover work for us.
Oh, man. I need my glasses.
Okay. Let me see if I can read that.
It's a good one. I'm getting there.
Can I? You don't have to finish it. People will know what that was.
Oh, my God. That's good.
That was heavy, man.

That was, wow.

We will be in touch about voiceover work, though.

You are going to do real voiceover work.

That's not real voiceover.

That's voice under, man.

That's voice under.

That was perfect.

All right.

Well, thank you so much.

This has been awesome.

Appreciate it, man.

Thanks.

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That's right, head to policygenius.com today. It's like a buffet made of life insurance, and what could be more delicious than that? Okay, let some segments finish up the show first up we have thoughts and prayers to Hugh Jackson uh he is not a loser even though he lost a lot of football games but he wants it to be known that he's not a loser he's not despite the losing he's not a loser he tied several games so there's that And he said that uh he wanted something about like when he when he got fired he went home and he stayed in his basement for three days like we're supposed to feel sorry for you for that number one basements are awesome so i would love to spend time in any basement for three days number two he said he just slept all the time that sounds amazing too that i would love to get fired as an nfl coach one day here's my problem with hugh jackson and i'm basing it off of what i saw in hard knocks which we know that the team gets editorial control over so hugh jackson watched it and was like i look good so it's based on that it's based on his immediate uh like media tour after he got fired and it's based on this article and i'm not saying that hugh jackson doesn't deserve a little sympathy seems like he's gone through some hard things in his life but he also feels like the type of guy who is just trying to manipulate the world into feeling bad for hugh jackson because guess what he already tried to do the i was actually unfairly fired and i wanted every good quarterback that's ever been drafted in the last five years and it was everyone else's fault yeah if your immediate reaction to being fired is to blame literally everyone else on national television I'm kind of done with you and then he took the job with the Bengals and played against the Browns while still getting paid for the Browns and now when all that doesn't work he's like like, oh, yeah, let's do the sob story feature on me in Sports Illustrated.

And, again, there's some parts of his life, and the fact that he made it as a head coach is astounding and all that stuff.

Like, he beat a lot of odds.

But I'm just kind of over the Hugh Jackson, everyone should feel bad for me, woe is me.

You stunk as a head coach.

You could be a good offensive coordinator. You stunk as a head coach.
I be a good offensive coordinator you stunk as a head coach I think that's okay to say no I think that's fair to say I think that's definitely fair to say and the I'm not a loser clip that headline is that's just so wonderful what else could you hope for on your on your tombstone I want my tombstone to just say Hugh Jackson wasn't a loser dude it's like the it's like when Jim Caldwell had to do uh answer the question of whether or not he was dead or not like when you have to ask when you have to answer that question when you have to address the fact that people are saying you're a loser guess what you're a loser and I love how it's in so many coaches that get fired they they do the media tour and then about six months later they have to do the media tour for their media tour. And Sports Illustrated does that all the time.
The profile of the fired coach, that's like their bread and butter. I mean, I can count.
It probably takes me two hands. I can name you seven different times that they've done this, the fired coach who's just like sitting in a room locked with game film, trying to get back into the game somehow, like offering their coaching services for free to the local high school this is just what happens and like the browns obviously nobody inside that building really misses you but he's still staying in cleveland which is kind of a weird place he's saying that you know he goes to chipotle or whatever and the person there's always nice and they're like hey sorry it didn't work out just move out of of Cleveland, Hugh.
Just leave. He is.
Bad juju inside that town.

Get out. In the article, it said that he was moving in three weeks to Cincinnati.
I can't believe he stayed for that long, though. But you're right.
Sports Illustrated is so funny. It always starts the same.
It's like, man, I just miss football. I have to be with my shitty family and get paid millions of dollars to not work.
Woe is me. And I love it, too're always like for for for the last 42 falls like coach fill in the blank knows exactly where he would be coaching up his team with a whistle in his mouth this fall is different he's at his 10 million dollar home with his five kids and getting paid to not work damn he it's really sucks to be him.
I think my favorite one was Greg Sciano when they did the profile of him. And it was like him cooking breakfast for his family.
And his family was like, Dad, don't fucking make breakfast again. I hate it when you make breakfast.
You suck at it. He's like, this is my special Rancho's huevos.
The secret is taco seasoning. And then his daughter's like, shut the fuck up, Greg.
Yeah, go back.

Go back to coaching.

And guess what?

That's the best part about all these articles. The being a coach at that level is like being a Supreme Court justice or being in the mafia.
You always have a job. Someone will always hire you.
One of your friends will always pick up the slack. So, no, I don't feel bad for you, Hugh Jackson.
You could go get a job tomorrow anywhere in the NFL as like a quality control guy, offensive specialist or anything like that, and you would get paid a lot of money to be a coach. So don't feel bad for Hugh Jackson.
He'd be a great holdback guy. That's all he's done with the Browns for the last four years.
But did you see the thing about the Browns? There was a dude that got a Super Bowl tattoo, a Cleveland Browns 2020 Super Bowl champions tattoo on his leg which I love seeing that because it's the first time in the history of the Browns or in the since they've been these new Browns after they moved to Baltimore that somebody could get that tattoo and I'm not sure if it's ironic or not like I think it's I think I think the person actually believes that they're going to be Super Bowl champions, in which case that's the high watermark for that franchise for the last 20 years. Yeah, that's when you that's the arrival moment.
It's not when you make the playoffs. It's not when you win 12 games or when your division.
It's when a fan, a crazy fan gets a tattoo and everyone's like, maybe not that crazy. Yeah, I can see it.
Right. All right.
Next up, we have way to stay relevant baseball. They sent out a memo saying that everyone doing over the counter dick pills could get them busted for PEDs.
So stop trying to get raging hard boners with your 7-Eleven rhino dust or whatever the fuck they're called. Yeah.
Rhino Max. I mean, I'm a big fan of just like the names of those pills.

I've always thought about trying them,

but I never really mustered up the courage to go ahead and buy one

because who knows what's in it.

But I could see baseball players just loading up on that over-the-counter shit.

Just like Trevor Bauer, when he sees like any sort of pill that says like Rhino,

Rock, Boner, he's like, fuck yes, this pill was marketed for me, Trevor Bauer. I'll take all you got, including the ones in the back.
And the best part about this story that's kind of going under the radar a little bit is you've got old school legacy baseball reporters that have to get out there. And like Peter Gammons has to be in front of a camera being like, yeah, they had to report that horny goat weed might make you fail a drug test.
Just hearing those words coming out of like Ken Rosenthal's bow-tied ass, that makes it worth it for me. Bob Nightingale and Heyman have to talk about boner pills.
I love it. Here's where they really should stay relevant though.
Mike Trout, they should just tell Mike Trout, hey, we're going to fake bust you for this because guess what? You'll be the most marketable, funniest guy. Like here is the solution to how do we market Mike Trout? He's the boner guy.
I like that. Or just make a boner pill for Mike Trout.
Just have him be the face of an off-brand boner pill franchise. That way people always say, like, would you recognize this person in a shopping mall? mall well if the shopping mall sold mike trout's uh guaranteed big wood on it then fuck yeah i would recognize him exactly he just hits dingers and gets massive erections that's mike that's what like that that is the way to beat your your east coast bias your no one's staying up to watch mike trout hit mammoth home runs well

guess what he has huge ass hard-ons and that's mike that's what he does um all right pr 101 patrick chung he got arrested for uh having coke in his house which i guess it was a burglary should he use uh i don't know actually if we should bleep that because that was probably a bad ad. But he had what did his what did what happened?

His alarm went off.

The cops went there and then he just was Tony Montagna.

Then he just had a mountain of coke, I guess.

Yeah, I don't know exactly what the situation was, if it was a false alarm or not.

But the blueprints out on how to beat the Patriots just buy them all video security systems and then and then trigger the alarms and then have the cops come and bust them up. What are your thoughts on this? Yeah, it seems like a setup, to be honest.
There we go. That's really the only conclusion I have.
I also don't know what like I mean, what kind of setup are we talking about here? Someone probably gave him the cocaine and then call the cops on him. We're like, hey, there's coke in that house.
Oh, yeah, classic setup.

Someone probably put the cocaine up his nose at like 2 a.m.

at a club being like, hey, this would make a hilarious setup.

Have some fun partying.

This is going to show him.

Yeah, I'm going to sell Patrick Chung cocaine

and then call the cops implicating myself because I sold it to him.

I like where your head's at.

I mean, this has been a pattern for Belichick coach teams for a while. His best defensive players, Lawrence Taylor.
I'm sure he got similar situations. Here's the craziest part about this story.
Everyone reported it. And I didn't realize Patrick Trump's been on the Patriots since 2009.
Yeah. No one makes it that long on the Patriots.
Yeah. He's very, maybe that was the, it could be Belichick trying to get rid of him.
Yeah, there you go. I mean, I just said it was a setup.
I didn't say it was. You didn't say by who.
If Belichick set up Patrick Chung, if he planted this Coke and triggered the alarm, would you take Belichick's side in this? Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Of course. Duh.
Yeah. Of course.
He has his reason for everything. All right.

Hank, let's do FAQs.

And by the way, before you start, I have an FAQ.

How low are you wearing your pants right now?

Not to be all dad on you. Well, Hank doesn't have an ass.

Correct.

I'm just looking at his ass.

Yeah, I'm looking at your ass.

He's got nothing to hold it up.

I have an inverted ass.

It's concave.

We should do a body issue with just hank uh whose search history would you rather see lenny dykstra or jerry jones jerry jones because i i know what's on lenny dykstra's it's just a bunch of back page he just googles back page all the time he's like when will the fbi let this let this page come back up again? With Jerry Jones, he probably doesn't know how to use a phone correctly. So just anything that pops into his mind, he just probably uses Siri, the assistant.
Actually, Siri probably gets like a lot of stray Googles out of Jerry Jones when he accidentally hits the button on it. Lenny Dykstra's Google history would get depressing real fast i feel like it would be funny for the first three lines and then if you keep on going you're like okay this is just what he looked for yeah he looked for a rub and tug next to the jersey mics in uh the middle of like you know north northeast jersey at two in the morning on a on a tuesday this this sucks.
This is sucks to read. Jerry Jones is just like, how much should I disrespect my running back today? Yeah.
Yeah. Good jokes to disrespect my running back.
By the way, if I'm Zeke, I'm sitting out the whole season. Like I have more power to Zeke on this one.
Zeke don't play this year at all. See, who? Oh, Hank's.
What's up? PMT boys boys i've always wondered how the fuck do you guys handle your twitter notifications do you ever feel overwhelmed good question my phone i didn't i was gonna say my phone acts up once every like six to eight months where it just starts sending me notifications for every single like that i get i don't know how this happens happens. So I just turned off all my like notifications.
Yeah, I would say it's been an evolution where it used to be that I would see every single reply and every single mention. Now, if you catch it in off hours, I'll probably see it.
But if it's during any type of sporting event during anything that's going on, that's like funny on Twitter. I just don't even see any mentions like I'll see that maybe like one or two and then just keep scrolling yeah if you want to get big cat's attention now you have to like shoot him a tweet i'd say between the hours of like two and five when you might be up breastfeeding the kid from your giant nipples and then you're just checking twitter with the other hand and then you'll probably respond to that asking for madden code and i'll respond yeah what's good guys i have a twofer for the people what other shows at barstool you guys involved with i found out pft produces lcb today and two do big cat and pft have protégés or are they just never going to retire that's a good question so i yeah i okay i'm the vice president of football operations is the term that i prefer but yeah i i executive produce lights camera barstool and hard factor the daily news show by the way those guys are fucking hilarious download that show it comes out every day it's like 20 minutes long just get your news fix while you're taking a shower after you listen to part of my take um so i do those and to answer your question about the protege uh i i guess just

i'm trying to teach hank how to get an ass one day at a time i do i do barstool chicago redline radio dog walk um i'm trying to think what else i mean we do serious shows i here's one that i here's where i wanted to go with this though pft i don't don't know if you noticed, but Fantasy Football Factory,

the show that we quote-unquote executive produce,

the show that Hank planted this question,

which I'm surprised you didn't realize that, PFT.

I did. He planted this question so we would specifically bring this up.

We are not only not followed by Fantasy Football Factory on Twitter,

but not listed as anything to do with it.

Interesting.

So I'm going to block them.

I'm going to block them.

I didn't realize that.

I got to make some changes.

That's not why I asked that question.

I listened to the first episode.

Sure.

Thank you.

I thought it was very good.

I appreciate that.

You're welcome.

I didn't.

I thought it sucked.

I appreciate that, too.

Do you guys have any respect for the Amazon rainforest? I think it's pretty clear that we don't by the way that we addressed it sucked. I appreciate that, too.
Do you guys have any respect for the Amazon rainforest?

I think it's pretty clear that we don't by the way that we addressed it earlier.

I have all the respect for the Amazon rainforest.

Retweet for respect.

Yeah.

I saw somebody getting mad that we were talking about chicken sandwiches on Twitter.

He was like, my timeline is filled with people arguing about chicken when the rainforest is burning. And it's like,

you want me to write a check to the environment?

I'll do it. Yeah, what do we do?

Where do I send

cash for the environment?

Tell us how to reverse

a hundred years of

insane, irreversible

destruction we've done to our earth.

Tell us and we'll do it. I'll watch

Fern Gully tonight. How about that? There you go.
With college football coming back, and this may have been said, destruction we've done to our earth tell us and we'll do it i'll watch fern gully tonight how about

that there you go uh with college football coming back and this may have been said but what happened to stingray steve oh good question stingray steve is involved i think in ongoing litigation against a number of people and uh we may or may not be included in that so no more stingray uh yeah i i think stingray i don't think we specifically like part of my take is being sued but i could be wrong um either way stingray steve listen that's why college football is the best you have these fans they are very passionate but you have to understand they they can't like hang out forever they'll come in your life they'll pass through your life. But at some point, you know it's time for them to go along and possibly sue you.
I also think that Stingray Steve is a guy that was like, you can't put him in a cage. Stingray Steve needs to fly free.
He can't be known as a part of my take person. He's on to bigger and better things.
PFT's Gruden impression is criminally underrated. Here, I'm going to say this, and then I'll ask the last question as well.
PFT's Gruden impersonation is criminally underrated. Is it better than Caliendo is my question.
And then the last question is, who makes the new animations of the persons you were interviewing on the PMT logo for each episode, i.e. Danny Vitale, John Kuhn, between Big Cat and PFT on last week's episode.
So I think my Gruden impression just from that text in is already massively overrated. It's just something that you try to do like if Sean McVay was drunk and then just added man on the end of everything.
It's pretty easy. Give it a shot.
And what was the other question? Did we just say shout-out Triggs draws? Yeah, question we just say shout out triggs draws yeah pretty much shout triggs also draws i mean good point bringing up the john coon and the danny vitali animation because a lot of people have been asking are we a packers podcast now and i think that i think that we are because i mean we've interviewed their head coach we've interviewed two legendary fullbacks on the team. And I don't know if you saw this,

but Aaron Rodgers gave a little tip of the cap to us on his way up to Canada.

Him and Danny were both wearing the Canada boys outfits.

Coincidence?

No, he was saying, what's up to my boys, my main man, Big Cat and PFT.

Yeah, three years after that joke was funny,

and probably like ten years after that joke was funny,

Aaron Rodgers hopped on.

Classic.

No, way to go, dude.

We're a Packers podcast.

You fucking try hard.

It's weird. Yeah, three years after that joke was funny, and probably like 10 years after that joke was funny,

Aaron Rodgers hopped on.

Classic.

No, it was hilarious. Way to go, dude.

We're a Packers podcast.

Fucking try hard.

It was hilarious.

I loved it, Aaron.

I'll be watching.

I know you'll be listening.

Love you, Aaron.

No, he won't.

No, he won't.

I love you, Aaron.

He doesn't even respond to texts from his own teammates.

Should we talk about that?

He doesn't respond to anyone texts.

So we're closer.

We've heard that many times in the facility.

Everyone's like, yeah, Aaron doesn't respond to anyone.

If we want to do Packers podcast, let's go off the record.

And so... teammates should we talk about that he doesn't respond to anyone text so we're closer that many times in the in the facility everyone's like yeah aaron doesn't respond to anyone if we want to do packers podcast let's go off the record stuff so we're so wait wait he responds to us by acknowledging us so he treats us better than he treats his own family and his teammates meaning i think he's probably a bigger fan of part of my take than anybody in green bay is of him.
And Larry's the owner of the Packers.

That's true.

That's true.

That part is true.

Yeah, I know.

And I want to sink that ship.

I'm shorting the stock. Pardon my take.

Your number one Green Bay Packers podcast.

Love you, Aaron.

Good.

They're going to stink again this year.

And Aaron, you're a fucking loser.

Love you guys.

Especially Aaron Rodgers. We're talking away I don't know why I say I'd say it anyway Today's another day to find you Shine away I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take on me Take me Take.
Take me out.

Dive in.

In the day I show.

So needless to say.

I'm much an ambulance.

But I'll be tumbling away.

Slowly learning life is okay. Say after me.
See you next time. Take me out.
Take all the years. I'll be out.

In a day I'll you. You're shy away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take on me Take me Take on me I'll be Yeah, that they are Take on.
Call me. Take on me.

Take me.

Take on me.

I'll be.

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