Baker Mayfield, Mt Rushmore Of Worst Sounds + Return Of Jimbos

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 This season, transform your space into an entertainer's dream with Wayfair. Everything ships fast right to your door.
Shop everything home today at Wayfair.com. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Speaker 2 Wayfair, every style, every home.

Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, the end of the training camp week tour. We have Baker Mayfield in his RV.
Garrett Gilbert, Drew Stanton, pop in. We have a whole good time with everyone.

Speaker 1 We also have Fire Fest of the week, little preseason football talk, Mount Rushmore of worst sounds or noises in the world.

Speaker 1 And a special guest for Jimbo, for Jimbo's. Actually, two special guests for Jimbo's.

Speaker 1 We have someone who was kind enough to donate to the Dogs for Blogs charity, and then also we called a certain quarterback from Buffalo who has a rocket arm.

Speaker 3 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boar's Head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 3 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 3 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, Hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 3 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 3 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of some work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang a low washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sound. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Eli Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now and put it in promo code Barstool.
You get $5 for free, $5 for the ASPCA.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, August 9th, and we got preseason football PFT. It is back, and I'm so happy until I looked at my bets for the first half.
And I think I went one and six. So fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 Oh, hey, it's a long preseason. It's so stupid.
It's a long preseason, big cash. To be like, hey, you know what? I'm going to apologize to Trey Wingo.
No, absolutely.

Speaker 1 But I bet like every single day, that was so stupid of me. No, you take it back.
No, you take it back. Is that even a line from? No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's a line from wedding crashers or anything. I'm statistically, I should be better at the preseason.

Speaker 1 You know how, like, when Hugh Jackson was a coach for the Browns, he went 0-16, 1-15. I think he went 8-0 in the preseason.

Speaker 1 So, like, going off that logic, if you suck in the regular season, it's like they say the lottery is a tax on the stupid. Yes.
This is like, this should be a rebate for us stupid brains.

Speaker 1 This should be when we win our money, but it is not.

Speaker 1 But here is the fun thing about the preseason, which I love. It is name that backup quarterback.
You basically get to see a bunch of guys that you forgot about playing in an NFL game.

Speaker 1 So I went down the list of guys. I was like, oh, shit, that guy?

Speaker 1 It might be because of a new team or you just forgot about him. Matt Barkley's on the Bills.
I think we knew that. Yeah, we did.
Joe Webb on the Texans, who was lighting it up. My guy, Joe Webb.

Speaker 1 Shout out Joe Webb. Legend, Joe Webb III.
Matt Schaub. Matt Schaub, he was actually doing well, and I bet on the Dolphins, so fuck you, Matt Schaub.
Trevor Simeon is on the Jets. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Didn't know that. Trevor Simeon's shaking it up.
Yeah. Tom Savage is on the Lions.
He got hurt.

Speaker 1 He did? Yeah. Like immediately.
All right, Tom Savage isn't on the Lions anymore. As far as I'm concerned, Matt Stafford just never has a backup quarterback.

Speaker 1 He's just Matt Stafford. Maybe Dan Orlovsky still.
He has a backup quarterback to come in for one play when Matt Stafford limps because he limps basically every game. But he never goes out.

Speaker 1 No, even when Matt Stafford has an elbow injury, he'll limp off the field. He just registers pain as being like, oh, I can't walk.
Brett Hundley's on the Cardinals. Oh.
Geno Smith's on the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 I didn't. Wow, Geno Smith.
So we got Geno Seahawks and Paxton Lynch. Yes, yes.
You cradle a quarterback if you Pacific Northwest.

Speaker 1 If you combined Paxton Lynch and Geno Smith's powers, they would be like one quarter of Russell Wilson. Yep, that's about exactly right.
Case Keenum is on the Redskins. Yes, Casey.

Speaker 1 I know he technically started, but he's really a backup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ryan Tannehill is on the Titans, which I think we knew, but I also, I'm just always used to him being on the Dolphins and taking, this is the year that he finally makes it all happen.

Speaker 1 Takes that next step for sure. Fitzy.
Did the fuck out the Giants? Just do an on-side kick?

Speaker 1 They did. Did they? They recovered?

Speaker 1 I don't know. They didn't.
They did not recover. Okay.
Okay, so I decided when this happened.

Speaker 1 Fitzy, let me get your thoughts on Fitzy wearing that teal, that Miami teal, because the candy-ass uniform I don't think really plays with Brian Fitzpatrick. No, his belly looks a little bit bigger.

Speaker 1 He does, yeah, absolutely. The pastels don't work for a Harvard man.
He needs crimson. It's also weird preseason football because you can't watch.
It's like Reddit Stream City.

Speaker 1 You got to go find everything, and it's just weird seeing all these football games go on, but you can't watch any of them. No, well, you can if you're resourceful enough.

Speaker 1 I put up a tweet that showed my own personal red zone channel I had going on my computer. You know, back and forth, back and forth.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I I had to delete the tweet because I don't want to blow everyone else's spot up. Yeah.
Because the NFL doesn't know that people stream games on Reddit. That's true.

Speaker 1 So you've got to be careful about that. Freddie Kitchens.

Speaker 1 It's always a real treat to see these brand new head coaches to see their small little quirks and mannerisms on the sideline that we can pick at and make fun of for the next five years. Yes.

Speaker 1 So with Freddie Kitchens, one thing I noticed immediately, right off the bat with him, big watch tan on his left wrist. He's been wearing the same watch in the exact same spot.

Speaker 1 Does it shock you that he's not a

Speaker 1 suntan lotion guy? It does not shock me at all. Or maybe it's just like he hasn't earned his brown stripe yet on his wrists.
Or he hates players. He just rubs some dirt on his skin.

Speaker 1 He's like, this will cover it up.

Speaker 1 I'm fine. I'm fine.
The other thing I love about preseason football, when we were watching it, it just happened a minute ago in one of these games.

Speaker 1 Because everyone is competing for a roster spot, it is live ball city. So if there is a pass that is incompletion, the defense just jumps on it like, ooh, this could be a fumble.

Speaker 1 They pick it up, they run it all the way back. Yes.
Every single ball is a live ball, and it's like, guys, you really don't have to do that. They didn't on-side kick, so I'm fucked.

Speaker 1 I lost the Jets first half. Fucking Lines and Alex Taney and whatever the hell.
Well, football is stupid. If they air this out, who is that? Who's Mike Glennon, the emaciated Mike Glennon? Who?

Speaker 1 I don't know in the Jets, the backup that's in right now. Oh, the Jets have, I don't know.
It looks like Mike Lennon. Oh, no, it's Trevor Simeon.
With scurvy. Yeah, Trevor Simeon.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's lost a lot of weight, huh? Yeah, Trevor Simeon's looking good. He hasn't been eating well.

Speaker 1 All right, so we we also had a couple NFL stories that we wanted to hit on. First up,

Speaker 1 stop me if you heard this before, but a bosa is hurt. Yeah, he has a foot injury.
So Nick Bosa has like a severe high ankle sprain, I guess.

Speaker 1 So this, as is custom in the Bosa household, you tie their, they pull themselves up too hard by their own bootstraps. So they have weak knees and weak ankles.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Like, I know we don't joke about injuries and all that stuff. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That was

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 1 No, we got it out there. But, goddamn, the bosas just love to get injured.
Yeah, they were just held by their ankles and dipped in the Ohio River when they were babies. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's the Bosas and Sean Lee. And Sean Lee actually got hurt.
So

Speaker 1 he's always hurt. But

Speaker 1 that's not even something we should talk about because it's almost a given. Yeah, I tell you what, we will give you a Sean Lee update if he's not hurt.
Right. The minute he plays four games in a row.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then we will come in with a breaking news alert.

Speaker 1 The Giants, Daniel Jones,

Speaker 1 young Eli. Yeah.
Lit it up.

Speaker 1 Eli Mination. Yeah.
This is overreaction time, too. Daniel Jones is the best quarterback in the NFL right now.
Yeah, and I was watching the first half of the Bears Panthers.

Speaker 1 David Montgomery is the greatest running back I've ever seen in my life. Both these facts are true.

Speaker 1 If you watch a first quarter of a preseason game, you can make all the judgments you want. Because guess what? You have that right because you watched the first quarter of the preseason.

Speaker 1 True, but Daniel Jones didn't throw any touchdowns after the weather delay. Oh.
So

Speaker 1 is the way to stop him, the blueprint out on him? Yes.

Speaker 1 He's probably not a good quarterback in this climate change future of the NFL.

Speaker 1 The other story we had from the NFL, Kirk Cousins is complaining because his center's ass sweats too much.

Speaker 1 So that really tells you where we're at in terms of the sports calendar. He's actually concerned about this because he said it makes the ball really slippery.
Oh, God.

Speaker 1 He might throw an interception in a primetime game? Yeah, he might not be able to beat a 9-17 because the ball is a little too slippery. Damn, Kirk.
We got to fix that.

Speaker 1 How about you just make your center wear underwear made out of aluminum foil? And then that way it'll be nice and safe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just throw that on there like it's on the grill.
By the way, the

Speaker 1 fire trucks, we've been told will be fixed next week. Not going to happen.
We were told next week, last week.

Speaker 1 I actually talked to all business Pete, all fuckhead Pete, and he was like, yeah, we're installing an inch of glass. And then he said, but there might still be some holes in the sound.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 it's not going to be fixed. Yeah.
Listen, a great way to get me to just put something off is tell me it's going to happen next week, which is all the time. Next week.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We're good for next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no. That works.
Next week absolutely works for you. Next week.
All right. Let's get to some of the other stuff we got, including Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 1 Before we do Firefest, though, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, if you want to watch Baker Mayfield interview in his RV. Baker Mayfield, by the way, credit to him.

Speaker 1 He is a pro in media because every time we made a slightly inappropriate joke, he pulled the microphone away from his face so he could laugh. So

Speaker 1 if you're listening, you're like, is he not laughing at the joke? Oh, he was laughing.

Speaker 1 Also, he was laughing. Matt Patricia on Wednesday.
That's why you didn't hear him laughing. Right.
He took the microphone away from his face, too.

Speaker 1 We actually didn't turn his microphone on. Yeah, that's why.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, barcel gold.com/slash PMT and Don Brown, which was an awesome interview

Speaker 1 being a dude, guys being dudes. So check that out.
That dropped, our bonus episode dropped yesterday. Fire Fest of the Week.
We need a team Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 I don't don't think in the history of part of my take, and we've been doing it for a while now.

Speaker 1 We're going almost on our fourth year.

Speaker 1 We have jinxed anything worse than what we did on Wednesday when we were up in Green Bay. We interviewed Matt LaFleur.
We interviewed John Kuhn, Danny Vitale. Vitaly.
Vitaly.

Speaker 1 You can't do that, though. Like, you can't beat Dickie V.
I know. It's tough.
You can't have a famous person. You can't share the same name as a famous person and have it be pronounced differently.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Like the guy that landed the plane in the river.
That's just how I have to pronounce my name. Right.
There you go. Exactly.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 All right. So we were up there.
We finished the interviews. So good.
We're like, we got this. We're going to drive to Milwaukee.
We have. Earlier flight.
Earlier flight.

Speaker 1 That was the real jinx right there. So we finished with Vitaly and Kuhn.
We sit down in a Taco Bell and we were eating our lunch. Yeah, it was.
It was a Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 By the way, Hank's dad is here. So we'll get to that with the Mount Rushmores.
Yes, it's a Taco Bell. So we're sitting in there and we're talking about how awesome we made this trip.

Speaker 1 We're like, this is the most efficient trip we've ever had. It is awesome.

Speaker 1 Landed last night, talked to a ghost, watched Hard Notch, recorded the show, woke up, drove up to the Packers, did a tour of Lambeau Field, talked to John Kuhn, Vitality, and Matt LaFleur.

Speaker 1 Just took in the incredible environment

Speaker 1 of Lambeau Field. A dump.
And then now we did so good. We're going to bump our flight up two hours and get back to New York early.

Speaker 1 Eight o'clock, we would have been on our couches, and then we're driving down to Milwaukee, and boom, alert, hour delay. Boom, alert.
Your flight has been canceled.

Speaker 1 Boom, your new flight goes from Milwaukee to Atlanta, Atlanta to New York. So then we spent the next basically eight hours in airports flying, sat in the back row.
You had to sit, bitch.

Speaker 1 I sat middle in the back row. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't like the term bitch. I just.

Speaker 1 With a couple neighbors. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like I'm a townhouse. Yeah.
So, and then we got we got home. And the worst part is you can't, Hank had bad vibes, Which you did have bad vibes You had bad

Speaker 1 but you can't blame the airline when it's thunderstorms So we were powerless I mean you can you can and I'm an asshole. I will

Speaker 1 at some point So we we didn't get home till 2 30 in the morning But the one saving grace we had we went to TGI Fridays in the Atlanta airport and it was bumping And then right as we're about to leave our waitress said are you guys in a band or something?

Speaker 1 I'm like, what?

Speaker 1 We have a podcast. She's like, oh, oh, I could just feel the creative energy coming off of this table.
Yeah. And then we're like, you know what? Actually, do you know who Sonny Digital is? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She was like, Of course.

Speaker 1 From Atlanta. Best friend.
And you were like, Yeah, we put out a couple tracks, so no big deal. Yes.
But TGI Fridays, you know what you might be thinking? You guys are.

Speaker 1 Sounds like it's not a fire festival. You guys were cheating.
Oh, yeah. You guys were cheating on chilies.

Speaker 1 While you might be technically correct on that, TGI Fridays has chilies. The vibes in TGI.
TGI Fridays, no, it's not the exact truth. The playlist they had going was something else.

Speaker 1 Like, I felt like I was there on a three-hour party, just tossing back margson. With the boys.
Yeah, John Legend remixes all up in our face.

Speaker 1 There's no better feeling than getting drunk in an airport before your flight.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah, we spent the whole day in the airport, and it was a fire fest, but we deserved it because we jinxed ourselves. Hank, do you have a personal fire fest? No.
Okay, I have a personal fire.

Speaker 1 Do you have one? No, go ahead. Oh, okay.
Well, my personal fire fest is on Tuesday we ghost hunted, and I've been just

Speaker 1 things just haven't been the same since. I just want to ghost hunt for a living.
You want to ghost hunt? Do you want to change careers?

Speaker 1 I want to say goodbye to all of this and go and fucking ghost hunt. Maybe just a new podcast.

Speaker 1 What do you think is out there? Everything.

Speaker 1 It's limitless, Hank.

Speaker 1 You know, there was a ghost in your bedroom. There were two, actually.
I know that guy wanted there to be a ghost in your bedroom. No, no, don't start.
Hank, Hank,

Speaker 1 you saw the ghostometer just like we did. You heard the spooktrometer.

Speaker 1 There were at least two ghosts. You heard their voices.
I just know when I, like, something like that,

Speaker 1 when you get a taste of the ghost life,

Speaker 1 I'm just, every single morning I've woken up and it's been like, well, probably not going to find any ghosts today. Do you just go do my shitty job that doesn't involve ghosts? This sucks.

Speaker 1 Do you think that there are ghosts in cars as well? Or just in homes? Oh, there's ghosts everywhere. Everywhere.
Everywhere. It'd be sick if you bought a haunted car.

Speaker 1 I want to buy a ghost. I want to buy a ghost in a shoebox and let it out in the office.
And that would be awesome. We can probably make that happen.

Speaker 1 And then you can blame anything bad that happens to you on the ghost. But we also learned that there could be ghosts of animals.
Right. So Larry.

Speaker 1 We probably have Larry. Yeah.
But think about this. Like, oh, bad episode, guys.
Well, probably our ghost. We weren't feeling it.
Our ghost was all up in our ass. That's a good point.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's an automatic out. It's basically like you can, anything that happens in your life, well, I've been dealing with a ghost.
Get out of this podcast. No, we need to fucking get a ghost.
All right.

Speaker 1 let's do our Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 4 Before we do that, man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 4 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 4 That thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 4 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this.
Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 4 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore of worst sounds.
That one's on there. This one is on there.

Speaker 1 For everyone at home, you can put fire trucks and cop cars that are in our podcast every single episode. I actually had that.
An ambulance in the background of the podcast was on my list. It's okay.

Speaker 1 That's fine. Listen, you got to adjust in this league.
All right, so what are we doing? Are we going to let Mr. Lockwood have his own four picks, or do we we want a Team Lockwood picks?

Speaker 1 You guys are sucking. I kind of like Team Lockwood.
Okay, Team Lww.

Speaker 1 Team Lockwood. Team Lockwood.
Okay. Like a golf tournament.
All right, so I have first pick. I will go with, I think, the number one overall.
I think everyone agrees, your alarm clock.

Speaker 1 There's nothing worse. Obviously, your phone, if most people use a phone, but holy shit, does it suck? When I first got a student.
This is ridiculous. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is actually perfect, though, for worse sounds.

Speaker 1 It's driving into our studio. Yes.
Fuck you, Pete. Everyone tweet.
All business Pete. That's all business, Pete Heat.

Speaker 1 Not only tell me he's a fuckhead, but I actually just emailed him 100 new Madden codes. So if you want a Madden code, PS4 or Xbox, you can DM him or tweet him out

Speaker 1 of code. I actually heard that he has FIFA codes.
FIFA codes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. New FIFA out.
Transfer window just happened. Yeah, Pete.
FIFA code. Pete's a big footy fan.
Oh, yeah. Hit him up and ask him about that.
He literally has all the codes.

Speaker 1 We gave him all the codes. We're like, dude, you deal with it.
So yeah, hit him up. Is it at all business, Pete?

Speaker 1 Easy to remember, at all business, Pete. All the codes.
All right, alarm clock, number one. That's a good one.
Okay, my first pick is going to be a dentist drill.

Speaker 1 That's a tough one. Oh, I think Lockwood's took to Steve Lockwood's.
Okay. Uh-oh.
Okay. You guys are going to have to learn how to adapt on the fly now.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the sound that a dentist drill makes, especially when it's on you, because you get that extra vibration because it's going through your jaw, that is a tough one. I hate that one.

Speaker 1 That one sucks. Easily, just don't go to the dentist.
Yep. That's what I've learned to play with it better.
I'm not trying to do that. Okay.
Team Lockwood is up. All right, Team Lockwood.

Speaker 1 Was that going to be your first pick? That was going to be my first pick. Oh, whatever.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Whatever, we're going to start with this, the worst sound that you hear.

Speaker 5 License and registration.

Speaker 1 Ooh, good one. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Well, unless you have, I have that card that shows that I give to the police. You just, You give that right underneath.
You're like, oh, I'm sorry, officer. I didn't know I put that in there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whoops. My bad.
Sorry. Pick two for Team Walker.
Pick two for Team Walker. We will go with the Amber Alert sound on your phone.
Oh. Oh, that must be a huge inconvenience for you.

Speaker 1 Damn, that little kid got snatched, and Hank just wants to keep watching his fucking vines. Yeah,

Speaker 1 when the fucking.

Speaker 1 All right, whatever.

Speaker 1 Come on, I was in the middle of a TikTok.

Speaker 1 But it's sometimes like a flash flood.

Speaker 1 A flash flood warning, and you're like, what the fuck? No, it is scary. It is very scary.
Because the child probably won't come back. Exactly.
That's my point. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the worst sound to hear because you're like, fuck, a kid is lost right now.

Speaker 1 All I care about is

Speaker 1 the wealth of kids. Good job, Hank.
Way to fix that. Okay, PFT.
All right, my second one, my second worst sound is your dog peeing in the middle of the night. Ooh.
In another room. Okay.
On the floor.

Speaker 1 The little tinkle that wakes you up and you're like, man, now I have to do like four things to fix this situation. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a good one uh all right my second and third pick i'm gonna go with uh second open-mouth chewing anyone who's chewing with their mouth open it's fucking disgusting remember when we did we used to do that as bad radio yeah

Speaker 1 ugh and it's spitting and it's just gross and just trying to talk to you my dad my dad wouldn't let us chew gum in our house good ever he's a good father smart that's a good that's a good father

Speaker 1 having bad habits well he probably did it because he didn't want you fucking swallowing all the gum you psycho Did you teach him that? That you can swallow gum.

Speaker 5 Gum was prohibited, so the fact that he was swallowing it was fine.

Speaker 1 He swallows all his gum. That's why he did it, because he had to hide it.
He had to hide it from you. Oh, big gum.
Swallow this gum. Gumby.

Speaker 1 Destroy the evidence.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. My next pick, I'm going to go with.

Speaker 1 Let's go with

Speaker 1 when

Speaker 1 someone is playing their Instagram videos in public, and it's so fucking annoying because it's one thing if you play a video and you can kind of sense what's going on or a song, but the 15 seconds and just going scrolling person to person, that will drive you insane almost instantly.

Speaker 1 Okay, mine is kind of along the same lines. I'm going to go with any song that's being played in someone else's car that you can hear.
It doesn't matter. It could be.

Speaker 1 Every now and then that will bump. It could be your favorite song in the world.
You're going to red, and someone comes bumping next be a little bit more damage.

Speaker 1 If it's driving past you, if it's driving away from you, it is awful to listen to it. Every now and then that can bump.

Speaker 1 You get the Doppler effect going where the pitch starts to shift the closer it gets and then gets away from you. All right.

Speaker 1 Team Lockwood, fill out your Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Third and fourth.

Speaker 1 Third and fourth? Yeah. Third and fourth.

Speaker 5 So I'll go with the third, and I'm going to keep it to sports and say the buzzer when it goes off when you are the losing team.

Speaker 1 Good one.

Speaker 1 Good one. That's a very good one.
Good one.

Speaker 1 I thought Team Lockwood for sure was going to go with

Speaker 1 the soda fountain when Baja Blast is out.

Speaker 1 Just not hearing the... Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 This is a personal one, but the sound of folding paper. Like a crease.
Okay. And folding paper.
But cheese is fine.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
All right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're not creasing your cheese. When you fold your cheese, it separates, and then you have little places.

Speaker 1 You fold the paper, and then when you make the crease sound, you don't like that?

Speaker 1 It's the worst sound in the world. Okay.
Worst sound in the world. Okay.
All right, my last one. I'm going to go with Drake.

Speaker 1 Damn. Just Drake.
You're just digging in. Going on, Drake.
Digging in. All week long.
Just burying myself in this.

Speaker 1 Drake hate week. All right, my Drake.
My last one is going to be

Speaker 1 thank you for watching this presentation in the National Football League on a Monday night. That sucks.
That

Speaker 1 sucks. Obviously, the Super Bowl one is the worst, but that Monday night one, where you're like, well, because

Speaker 1 you look forward to Monday night football. You just came off a whole Sunday of football, and then that hits, and you're like, well, no more football for another fucking three days.
This sucks.

Speaker 1 And at that point, you know that your bet is final. Yeah, yeah.
It is. The outro's Monday night football is such a shitty, shitty sound.

Speaker 1 That reminds me of the 60 seconds tick was a big miss. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. On a Sunday afternoon.
Yep. All right.
Honorable mentions. That's a good one.

Speaker 1 That was a huge miss.

Speaker 1 Someone taking a shit next to you in a public toilet. Yep.

Speaker 1 Bad. Not great.
Dropping bombs. Mr.
Lockwood's got a miss.

Speaker 5 Crinkly plastic off a mint kind of paper when someone takes it and just holding it in their face.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys don't like the crinkles. Have you reached the age, Mr.
Lockwood, that you just have like hard candy all over your house? No. Okay.
That will be interesting when that happens.

Speaker 1 When the Wirthers happen, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where you're going. You know, like the Tom Brady, like, don't eat sugar, don't eat like anything except for water.

Speaker 1 Straight away. And you know how your son, like his diet? Yes.
Okay. All right.
Yeah, the hard candy around the house, that's basically the 60-minutes clock for your life.

Speaker 1 Because when you start doing that,

Speaker 1 maybe a couple cashews, the fucking nut thing. I don't mind the cashews.
Yeah, but it's only been out for like three weeks. Yeah, exactly.
Just in case someone comes over.

Speaker 1 You're like baiting your friend. And no one comes over because you're at 90 years old.
That's what happens. You just leave these treats out.
You're baiting a friend to come over.

Speaker 1 Let's just get out in the open. The Hank Lockwood yawn.
Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 He's told us that it's hereditary. So is that true? This is true.
All right, so can you give us an example, Hank, or Mr. Lockwood? I'll do it if you don't.
I can't find you that way. That's like a

Speaker 1 good. I heard it probably 20 times sitting next to him on the flight.

Speaker 1 That's every single time he yawns.

Speaker 1 He basically sounds like

Speaker 1 his brain is lacking oxygen. Sounds like he's having an exorcism.

Speaker 1 He can't function without sucking in an insane amount of air.

Speaker 1 Now, Hank, is it an inhale or is it an exhale? Because it sounds like an exhale. It's an inhale.

Speaker 1 I don't really know. It's an inhale, exhale.
Import, export. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How about

Speaker 1 the Welsh accent? I had it. Okay, okay.
How about

Speaker 1 the sound a toilet makes when you've clogged it? And when you like know the flush hasn't been clean and you're like, well, this is going to suck.

Speaker 1 You've got to figure that one out, especially when you're playing on a road game. That's really bad.
That's not a good one. When just anytime somebody's in a bathroom and you hear them say, oh shit,

Speaker 1 from standing right outside.

Speaker 1 You never want to hear that. That also goes for anytime someone's in a kitchen.
Yep. If you're in a kitchen and you hear the oh shit, someone probably lost a finger.
You know what we missed?

Speaker 1 Smoke detector. Yeah.
That's a really bad one. Smoke detector.
I had hold music because it usually means you're just doing something you really don't want to hear.

Speaker 1 Unless it's that fucking jam that goes,

Speaker 1 It sounds like Rocky's about to come on.

Speaker 1 What's our rough and rowdy guy's name? Chris? Chris. Yeah, his playlist.
Go, go.

Speaker 1 Which is all right, right? It's all Rocky. Yeah, New Age Rocky.
Yeah, I had one you turn on NBA on TNT and it's Reggie Miller and Chris Weber announcing that. Oh, that's a good one.
What about Doink?

Speaker 1 I hate the Doink. All right, okay.
No, I hate it. You knew we were going to get it.

Speaker 1 No, you're the one that had it as your best sound. I know, I know, I know.
One of my worst, I hate the Doink.

Speaker 1 A little throwback, the Voo Vu Zelas.

Speaker 1 I like the Vuvoo Zalas. Oh, that sucks.
It added a little bit. You didn't like the Voo Vu Zalas.
It reminded me of B. Shut up.
You did not like the Voo Vu Zelas. That shit sucked.
Oh, Jackhammer, too.

Speaker 1 Yep. If you wake up next.

Speaker 1 Although, living in New York City now, I don't even, it doesn't even bother me. Like, I wake up with a jackhammer next to my bed probably, I don't know, six out of seven days a week.

Speaker 1 So it doesn't even phase me anymore. Microphone interference.
Oh, you're not expecting it. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's pretty bad in the headphones. Yep.
Yep. That sucks.
Bubba singing.

Speaker 1 A misplaced reggaeton horn.

Speaker 1 A good reggaeton horn that flows seamlessly with what you're trying to do as a DJ or a podcast always works. But if you put them in too much, especially at the front of your show, it's pretty bad.

Speaker 1 It's tough to listen to. That is bad.

Speaker 1 Anything else we missed? It's a good list. You got anything else, Mr.
Lockwood? Ooh, a cat throwing up. Or a cat fight.
Yeah. Oh, I like a cat fight.
No, cats cats fighting. Tough to listen to.

Speaker 1 If you have a dog or an animal that's in pain, when you hear that noise, that's like just triggers you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the wine, the dog wine is the worst. That like will break your heart.
Shout out that chick who got canceled with the all-time race. She's going to win the takey of the year.
She will wrap it up.

Speaker 1 She hit her dog. She spat on her dog.

Speaker 1 Accidentally released the footage and then released an apology and had 90,000 replies. But you know what? It was a prank.
She was doing a prank on her dog, as we always do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She put like saran wrap on her door frame and then called her dog to come visit her. Her dog was like really excited.

Speaker 1 And then she accidentally deleted the prank out and then left in the part where she hits it in the face. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Epic dog prank. I like the part where she.
I choke my dog. It started where she was dabbing and like smiling and then it went to her just hitting her dog.
But epic dog prank.

Speaker 1 I feed it chocolate and grapes. I, for one, am shocked that a YouTuber is an asshole.

Speaker 1 I never thought a narcissistic person who decides, ooh, I'm going to tape every single part of my life and be like, this is awesome, guys.

Speaker 1 Check me out going to the gym today. Yeah, that person is an asshole.
Never saw that person. Like, subscribe, guys.
Hey, guys. Hey, if you're into dog abuse, like, subscribe.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Do check that out.

Speaker 1 We're not tubers like that. I'm never going to abuse a dog on camera or off camera for that matter.
That was very big of you. And a good correction.
I'll take a stand.

Speaker 1 Because that implication was bad. No, Leroy is, he will tell you.
He might get it wrong, but he'll tell you. I'll tell you what.
I do abuse Stella by kissing her too much. Yeah.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Giving her too much love. I give Leroy a hug sometimes so hard, he goes,

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. A little, yeah, a little just air comes out.
You're like, Yeah, that was a good hug. That was a great hug.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that probably is animal abuse because dogs don't really like to be hugged. Kissing your dog on the face, I think they kind of like it.
No, definitely like that.

Speaker 1 I don't think that that's animal abuse. Yes, definitely like that.
Snuggling. Sometimes I snuggle too hard.
Yep. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Okay, should we do it? Baker Mayfield, we have, oh, swag Kelly. Swag to the house.
Swag. Very good at escaping in this circumstance.

Speaker 1 Before we started, I said if the Colts win, I would do something that I don't want to do, but.

Speaker 1 Suck a dig. Okay, so Swag Kelly to the house.
Colts might be back.

Speaker 1 So let's get to Baker Mayfield. We actually have a big announcement with Baker Mayfield that you probably heard on Thursday.

Speaker 1 I think someone, I think someone in the sports biz beat, which I can't believe we didn't get that. Jake,

Speaker 1 disappointed. All right.

Speaker 1 I'm mad. Hey, you guys remember Jill? Yeah, Jill just hasn't been around.
She's been like a month.

Speaker 1 She's just going to stroll back in smiling with a bunch of hard candy for us. In two months and be like, what's up, guys?

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's get to it. Baker Mayfield.
So before we get to the Baker interview, he is the

Speaker 1 next biggest body armor athlete. This is exclusive news that we're breaking right now.
Probably already came out, but that doesn't matter. Baker.

Speaker 1 Body armor. We're in your RV.
You've got it stocked with body armor. And is it, did they give you the new wheels for the 2019 training camp? Is that true?

Speaker 1 This one right here, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're working on something because we play at Indianapolis. We go practice there for a couple days.
So we're going to have this thing decked out. Okay.
I like it.

Speaker 1 Andrew Luck, obviously, body armor athlete as well. Yep.
And what made you become a body armor athlete? You just like this stuff tastes so good. And PFT and Big Cat Drink It? Or what was the.

Speaker 1 A little bit of everything right there.

Speaker 1 you know I like the light kind of watching my figure me too 20 calories yeah me too I mean you don't get built like this unless you drink light or like this like I was saying earlier he probably just saw us how awesome we looked and he was like I want to look like these bloggers yeah so I'm going to start just drinking the light body armor all right so you're a body armor athlete through and through yeah are you gonna do it your press conference or do you you can't do that

Speaker 1 It's a little complicated. Okay, all right.
It's not. You don't have to answer.
It's not the brown stuff. Roger Gale would have a little letter in the mail.

Speaker 1 All right, so we'll just drink it all the other times, and we're very excited that you are a body armor athlete. We're body armor athletes.
Cheers to being body armor athletes. Rookie mistake.

Speaker 1 And then let's.

Speaker 1 We just announced it. Now let's go to the Baker Management.
You guys just claim you're athletes? We are athletes. Oh,

Speaker 1 I am very much. I don't know if you saw I did.
Have you ever tried to podcast for an hour and a half straight? I don't know if you saw I did four clap push-ups on Friday.

Speaker 1 Still a little sore from it, but that's an athlete. I walked on the treadmill and checked Twitter for like 20 minutes on Friday.
Boom, athlete. Boom, athlete.

Speaker 1 I'm about to have some. I'm about to get my ribs broken playing rugby next week.
Athlete. Playing rugby? Yeah, not well.
That's why it's going to suck, and I'm going to get my ass kicked.

Speaker 1 I'd kick your ass in basketball. You were probably all state or something, right? Oh, no.
Garrett Gilbert's saying, no, good. Body armor athlete.
We got two sports we can beat. Why are you here? Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. Love it.
Baker's a body armor athlete. Let's go to the interview with Baker.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest, friend of the program,

Speaker 1 and franchise quarterback, Baker Mayfield. Thanks for having me.
I saw you winced with the first franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 You love that term, right? Yeah, I absolutely love it. Yeah, you guys are just right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we're going to, this whole interview, we're going to basically see if you actually are a franchise quarterback. Because we read that article from Mina Kimes, great article.

Speaker 1 The fact that you don't want to be called a franchise quarterback already is a red flag that you're not a franchise quarterback. Big red flag.
Big red flag.

Speaker 1 That means you're more of a QB1, which is not bad. That's not a bad thing to see.
But franchise quarterback, that's like the next level.

Speaker 1 So actually, let's get started um if you were to grill meat would you put down aluminum foil underneath the meat or would you put it right on the grill right on the grill okay all right maybe that's good that's right

Speaker 1 we'll check in okay so last time we saw you uh it was middle of the season right after a coaching change a little weird in the facility now enough time has passed you're the hottest topic in the world you were the most hyped team in the history of nfl football yes i don't know about that

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. So let's start there.
Are you nervous at all about the hype?

Speaker 1 Maybe for the fans, a little heartbreak? I don't know. It feels like there's just

Speaker 1 the hype train has gotten a little out of control, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 1 I think the attention from the media, yeah, but the fans are just excited to have, you know, that excitement for football again. Yeah.
Since it's been not so great for a while,

Speaker 1 them having something to look forward to this season, I think, is the reason why they're so excited. Okay.

Speaker 1 But we got a bunch of guys that really want to win, and so we know how good we can be, which can be great, or it could be really bad. Right.

Speaker 1 Freddie's doing a great job of having us focus, you know, saying, we haven't done anything yet. We got to go to work every day.

Speaker 1 You need to do an interview in the next couple weeks during training camp and say you're the dream team. Get it really lean into the hype.
Really? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's actually a great idea. The target so big that everyone's like, Baker is so full of himself.
Dream team. That would go well with, you know, that Fox reporter guy.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he actually bleeped his name out.

Speaker 1 We have to say it on the air. You know what? Let's get to, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do that right now because I think you need to stop responding to him. I think you need to

Speaker 1 respond to them. Well, you guys haven't done it yet.
No, we have every single time. Yeah, you didn't handle my American Airlines problem.
I told you I was

Speaker 1 pointing. Yes, no, I DM'd you and I hit up American Airlines and said, I'm going to skull fuck you

Speaker 1 in honor of your wife's bags.

Speaker 1 And I was ready to go. Did they not fix it? Did the bags get found?

Speaker 1 They got found. Okay, but mission accomplished.
He took another one.

Speaker 1 Another one.

Speaker 1 Listen, successful. His sense of urgency is all I'm asking for.

Speaker 1 I was on top of it.

Speaker 1 You got shit on for that, too. Yeah, that's all right, though.
People were like, I call it United and you got to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 There we go. Yeah, we charge it.
Yeah, listen. We have your back.
When Colin... Shit, bleep that out, hang on.
Yeah, yeah. When he says something about you, we are the first people.

Speaker 1 We call them, what do we call baker takers? Yeah. It's become like a cottage industry almost recently.

Speaker 1 You had Greene doing a little bit. You've You've got CC

Speaker 1 doing it. And there are some other people from ESPN that know that you're kind of like this lightning rod a little bit.

Speaker 1 So if they say something like a hot take about you, they're going to get a lot of attention. So we're just trying to cut that off at the knee.
You can't respond. You can't respond to my first outlet.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he wants you to respond because then he gets a whole show out of it. We just need to do it for you and fight fire with fire and be like, Colin,

Speaker 1 we speak on behalf of Baker, everything that we have power of attorney with Baker. So we get to make all decisions here.
And then he doesn't get the thrill.

Speaker 1 And then you could also disavow if we go too far, which we will. We will.
I'll be like, hey, Colin, disavow, fuck yourself. And then there's enough separation between you and us

Speaker 1 where it's not you saying it, but wink, wink, wink, saying it. It's kind of like when you did the whole thing with Odell saying the Giants fans aren't great fans.
That was not about Odell.

Speaker 1 Mina took that out of context. He wanted to.

Speaker 1 It was about our fans being excited. That was smart of you.
Odell was like, hey, Baker, make sure you get a line, a dig in for the Giants. And you said it instead of him.

Speaker 1 We know. We know.
You know that we know, too. That's the best part.
You said it was taken out of context. What were you trying to get across that?

Speaker 1 The fact that Cleveland fans are excited to have him, and they don't care what he's done in the past.

Speaker 1 They know what type of guy he is right now and what he wants to do, and he wants to win, and they're excited to have him. So that moment when he gets traded,

Speaker 1 how excited were you? Scale of 10, probably an 11.

Speaker 1 I mean, the videos that came out of it, I saw that one video of the kid who got the cops called on him because he was just running up and down the street screaming.

Speaker 1 No, that was actually a thing.

Speaker 1 Multiple people got the police called because they were celebrating the trade.

Speaker 1 And that is like that's so exciting for a fan base to have a QB1, maybe a franchise quarterback, and then trade for one of the best wide receivers in the league. And you already have Jarvis Landry.

Speaker 1 Has he done anything yet in practice where, because he is a big practice guy, has he done anything where you're like, holy shit, this guy's unbelievable?

Speaker 1 Just, I mean, the way he catches the ball, I mean, it's just, it's so natural to him. And then you can hear it when the fans see it.

Speaker 1 Like, he'll almost have a one-in catch, and they make a noise because it's like almost so expected of him.

Speaker 1 And that's the, I think, the crazy part about it is it's so routine for him to do amazing things that sometimes you have to realize that's that's not normal, right? But it is for him. Right.

Speaker 1 So when you see him, if he's covered one-on-one, even if he's covered, if it's the cornerbacks all over him, you kind of still see him as always being open unless there's like two or more guys, right?

Speaker 1 Absolutely. You know, he's a guy that has a lot of range.
He's got a lot of body control where he can stop on a dime and flip his hips, go up and get the ball. So just learning how to throw to him.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's got a lot of range. Do you like the new hair? It's different.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I predict that the old hair is coming back. You think so?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do. I don't think anytime soon.
Have you guys planned a touchdown celebration yet? We have not. Are you going to?

Speaker 1 To be determined. Who's the better dancer?

Speaker 1 Me. Yeah, there we go.
Franchise QB or FBI.

Speaker 1 That's a franchise quarterback. Well, I don't know.
That's an alpha.

Speaker 1 A franchise quarterback doesn't care about.

Speaker 1 You know what a franchise quarterback does? He takes the ball and then he hands it to a child in the first row.

Speaker 1 He doesn't worry about a dance. He has the ball, though.
Oh, okay. You mean Odell has the ball? Yeah, yeah.
But if you're the alpha, then you take the ball from your wide receiver.

Speaker 1 I saw Devin Funch's hand like six balls that he didn't drop to Cam Newton to give away to a child in the front row last year. Just something to think about.

Speaker 1 Since we last saw you, so we mentioned it at the top when we were here in the facility last time, it was the week after a coaching change.

Speaker 1 So we didn't really get into it because it was all fresh and weird.

Speaker 1 Have you spoken to Hugh Jackson? Not. Will you anytime soon or anytime, you know, like bury the hatchet? Although

Speaker 1 I actually don't think you have anything to bury here. He's the one who went to the media and did all that stuff.
When you saw him on TV, like a week after

Speaker 1 he got fired, what was the conversation in the locker room? Was everyone like, what is this guy doing?

Speaker 1 Kind of like that, but it also, we didn't really care. Right.
It was one of those things that kept getting brought up. We're like, we're over it.
You know, we're moving forward.

Speaker 1 And I think that's the reason why it's not even an issue now. Right.
I think it was more of a deal that he went to a division rival.

Speaker 1 That using the inside knowledge that he had, it's like that was kind of a snakey move. I understand you want to go on TV.
You want to get another job for yourself at some point.

Speaker 1 But the fact that he went to the Bengals, that probably stung a little bit.

Speaker 1 I think it was more, and I said this, it was more of, you know, you're in front of us in the locker room asking for us to play for you and then two weeks later you go to a division fireball that we play twice a year and he's still getting paid so what people didn't understand was you know he still has income because everyone did the whole he's got a right to work yeah and i absolutely i'm all for that and i truly believe that he you know looking back on it he should have gone in and got a job right away you know just for the benefit of having a job right there and then for making connections and all that and so i understand it but that doesn't mean i have to like it right and so i think that's the biggest thing was I mean, that's why I am who I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I want to talk about that real quick, about why you are who you are, because this kind of goes back to the hype around the Browns.
They are America's team this year, as first coined by me.

Speaker 1 Did you ask Jerry Jones? That I stole from.

Speaker 1 Listen, I can take Jerry Jones out. I'm not worried about him.
He's old. He's frail.

Speaker 1 I stole that take from Hawkins, from Baby Hawk. So it's my take now.
But the Cleveland Browns are America's team this year.

Speaker 1 With all that hype, you're a guy that likes to play with like a chip on your shoulder.

Speaker 1 You rise to the occasion when people doubt you. How are you going to be able to step it up when everybody's got your back and they're like, yeah, these guys are legit Super Bowl champions, guaranteed?

Speaker 1 I think it's more of just our Cleveland fans think that.

Speaker 1 You know, we have to worry about what's going on in our locker room and have a mindset of blocking everything else out because

Speaker 1 I know exactly how this is going to go. If we don't have a great year, they're going to throw us in the trash.
They're going to say, oh, you guys were so hyped. You got egos, everything like that.

Speaker 1 And so that's what guys have to realize. But that's what I said earlier: Freddy's doing a great job of keeping it singular focused.

Speaker 1 You know, having a big picture mindset of, yeah, we want to win the Super Bowl. I mean, that's what you do if you play football.
But then realizing you have to win to get there.

Speaker 1 Listen, if you guys start like one and two, I'm going to be like, Baker stinks. All hell's breaking.
Yeah. Like the Browns suck.

Speaker 1 Don't you worry about that.

Speaker 1 At least you're being honest. Oh, I'll tell you, Freddie.
That's all. I'm the king of overreactions.
So, and then when you guys then win eight in a row, I'd be like, who said that? Me? No, no way.

Speaker 1 I didn't do that. I was hacked.
My career was hacked. Yeah, no chance.

Speaker 1 One last hue question. How close were you to not shaking his hand after that game? Because I feel like you didn't want to, but you didn't want to.
I wish you hadn't. This is the.

Speaker 1 This is the problem, okay? This is my biggest Baker problem: I love you. I love your

Speaker 1 swagger. I think you are a franchise quarterback.
Every now and then,

Speaker 1 he said it. He said this.
I'll take this media quote. I'll take the beginning of that and cut off the beginning.
Every now and then

Speaker 1 you play you play by the real rules and I don't want you to. Like you shake Hugh Jackson's hand.
I wish you had just walked right by him. You apologize for the Kansas thing.

Speaker 1 I don't think you should have apologized. Like there are times where we're really living in the past here now.
Yeah, but I want you to be like, you know what? I don't care about any of this.

Speaker 1 I'm here to win football games. Every other social norm, that has nothing to do with winning football games.
You're so close. You're so close.
It's a learning process. Okay.

Speaker 1 Someday I think you're going to get there and be like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm never apologizing for anything. Well, I mean, I wouldn't go that far.
Okay. All right.
But

Speaker 1 that's my only gripe: is that you apologize too much.

Speaker 1 Second franchise QB question. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you let Swagger kiss you on the lips? Yes. Okay.
I like that. That's franchise QB.
Yeah, yeah. People should let dogs kiss them on the lips.
Always.

Speaker 1 Maybe not their sons. I did want to do that.
Like other franchise quarterbacks. Yeah, yeah.
But definitely the dogs. Definitely.
I'm swept my mouth after it, though. Okay.
Swagger tries to watch it.

Speaker 1 I think it's in front of Swagger. Did he see him? He turned his head.
Okay, good, good. All right, then that's fine.
What do I do? I've got a mastiff too.

Speaker 1 I wipe the slobber and then I just put it right back on him. Like, circle of life.
Just recycle it. He's a towel and a faucet.
How much money do you think Kyler Murray owes you?

Speaker 1 For what? For basically starting this, like, you can have quarterbacks from the Big 12 that are short do well in the NFL. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You're not that short, though. And Kyler Murray's perfectly average height.
How much is that?

Speaker 1 So, how much money's

Speaker 1 is this?

Speaker 1 How much money does he owe you?

Speaker 1 I actually do, like, it's a joke question, but if you weren't successful last year, I don't know if he goes number one.

Speaker 1 Like, that's the Lincoln Riley thing, and everything gets kind of going, and it's like, okay, I see both special. I see both sides, but also

Speaker 1 there's guys like Drew and Russell that have kind of paved the way early on.

Speaker 1 So I think even if I didn't play this year and injuries didn't happen and I wasn't thrown into it, I still think Kyler would have gone number one. Okay.
Just how talented he is, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, he can throw the ball. I saw a couple clips of practice in shorts.
He's putting it out.

Speaker 1 He could sling it. Yeah, and he can move too with the shorts.
Is it really easier to throw football in shorts as opposed to wearing football pants? It's better naked. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you think about Horns Down? The whole rule that they're implementing. Who do we have? Who do we have?

Speaker 1 We're sure you're on the bar. Come on,

Speaker 1 you're lucky enough. The world's first player.
We have Drew Stanton and Drew Stanton's family. Okay.
Come on.

Speaker 1 Come on, what's up, Drew?

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Asher, come on.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 little kids here.

Speaker 1 What do you think about the horns down? I think it's very soft. They're implementing a rule about it.
Yeah. You don't think so?

Speaker 1 It shows the

Speaker 1 sensitivity of today's day and age. This was a savvy move by Baker to have Drew Stanton bring his whole family in here so we couldn't ask any more hard questions and censorship.
Drew, what's up?

Speaker 1 You want a mic real quick? I have a question for for you, Drew.

Speaker 1 Drew stands here. Drew, you remember that time you played? We dominated kickball.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay, let me finish a question.
Remember that time we played in Greg Olson's kickball tournament and you took it way too seriously and everyone's like yikes. Yeah.
Drew stands.

Speaker 1 Do you see his mustache?

Speaker 1 Do you see his mustache?

Speaker 1 And if anybody knows Greg,

Speaker 1 he takes everything way too seriously. I played on that team.
Remember, were you still on the team when I played on it? Like two years later? No. He didn't let anyone drink.
And it was in the series.

Speaker 1 Kickball tournament? Yeah, kickball. Chickball tournament.
Yeah, Drew takes that seriously. But yeah, you took it way too seriously.
Everyone's like, this is awkward.

Speaker 1 So did you guys all get together and decide to grow bad mustaches at the same time? Or is that just coincidence? What do you mean, bad?

Speaker 1 I'm hating because I can't grow one. I'll be honest.
I'm lashing out. I can see that.
Yeah. I love your mustaches.
I think it's great. Is this a QB thing? I think it's next for you.

Speaker 1 It's just you need to go back. Yeah, I do.
You like the numbers? Yeah. Like, if you make fun of one person with a bad mustache, but you can't make fun of everybody with a bad mustache.
That's true.

Speaker 1 That's true. So I got to hop back on it, and so that way I can join the club.
Yeah, well, you're welcome to join the party. Yeah, I mean, I'm an original mustache guy, so I need to get back into it.

Speaker 1 You're the original mustache guy? Well, no, one of the

Speaker 1 proclamations you guys every now and then. You just said you coined

Speaker 1 America's team. No, but I also said that I stole it at the same time.
Mustache versus America's team. I think that's pretty famous.
Big Kat, the inventor of the mustache. PFT invented America's team.

Speaker 1 I did, yeah. Is there not on in here? Yeah, because the sound.
Oh, so David. Yeah, David would be in a lot of trouble if they weren't on.
Yeah, so what are the rules of the RV?

Speaker 1 Well, there's a lot of rules that David Blau has. The first rule of the day is when the godfather shows up, he needs his cold brew with just enough foam on it still sitting on his desk.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's the reason it's nitro, right? Like, it has to be enough foam. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The RV has to be stocked at all times. Oh, we got the Browns camera here.
And then we also,

Speaker 1 kombucha have to practice. Kombucha.

Speaker 1 Now you're down to the bottom. You guys are not Cleveland.
The fans of Cleveland are going to be like, are you not going to be a fan of your family? That's not a franchise QB.

Speaker 1 Yeah, gut health is something.

Speaker 1 What does kombucha do? It's good for gut health. So it makes you poop more or less.

Speaker 1 I'd say more. More.
You've got to do one of the two, right? More.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not making me go less. Wait, so you let David make rules on this, boss? Is that because he's not going to be on the team very much longer?

Speaker 1 That was mean. We like him, though.
We like him. David's a great guy in the week.
He's a great guy. He doesn't make the rules.
Oh. He just has to follow him.
Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 Do you miss Brogan at all? Of course.

Speaker 1 Is there any aspect about Hard Knocks being around that you miss? No. Not at all? Not one bit.
Okay. What advice would you give to the Raiders about how to deal with Hard Knocks this year?

Speaker 1 It's going to be entertaining. I might actually watch.
Yeah, so you're going to start to love Hard Knocks like a fan along with the rest of us this year.

Speaker 1 Because now I don't have to go through it, it's not nearly as miserable. Yeah, exactly.
No, it's a great show. And like with the team they got, like John Gruden.
Deuce Gruden, mostly Deuce Scruden.

Speaker 1 Deuce Scruden, yeah. I'll do Scruden again.

Speaker 1 Part of the article, I'm actually a SeatGeek question right now. So SeatGeek put in, SeatGeek's sponsoring all training camp week.
Godo Browns game. Baker said they're going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Put in promo code take, and you get $10 off. So you said in the article that you no longer screenshot the haters.
So I screenshotted some haters for you. You want to read them?

Speaker 1 This dude is overrated. You'll see.
Teams have film on him now. He was underestimated last season.
Vince Young had a good rookie season, too. Damn.
That one's tough.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, guys, this is Garrett Golden. What's up, Garrett? What's Garrett? Garrett, now we got all the high school.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a couple of awesome.

Speaker 1 I'm reading the haters right now, Drew. Are the kids out of earshot? Yeah.
Okay, all right, cool. All right, you know what's funny? You are so fucking overrated that every fucking top

Speaker 1 caster from the news to radio to whatever thinks you and the Browns would do well. It's so funny that you won't even hit playoffs.
LOL. That guy dropped an LOL on you.
Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 1 You think he was actually laughing? Yeah, definitely. No, it was so funny.
It was so fucking funny. So funny.
Did you not hear what he said? Yeah, he was listening. It It was good.

Speaker 1 He's a good QB, but this guy is actually kind of. I don't know what this is about.
Baker Mayfield sucks. He's a good QB.
He's not great, nor will he be. Too much ego, not enough talent.

Speaker 1 We'll do one more.

Speaker 1 When you see how Browns fans treat Lamar, fuck that. Baker Mayfield can suck my dick from the back.
Oh, man. That one's good.

Speaker 1 So what do you think about the haters, Baker?

Speaker 1 You don't have screenshots, but I'm screenshotting.

Speaker 1 That one is creative. There was no LOL in that last one.
He was dead serious. That one was real.
Thanks for joining us, Garrett. Parrot Gilbert's here as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that was a nice entrance there. So what did you think about that one? The haters.
I mean, it's good stuff to hear, really. Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, I actually had a couple questions. Yeah, it is.
It keeps you grounded.

Speaker 1 It motivates him, right? We're LOLs. Two of my friends from back home already call me 12 years old.
Yes. That's true.
That's your nickname? The 12-year-old? The 12-year-old. Fat 12-year-old.

Speaker 1 The fat 12-year-old. Which is why he keeps facial hair.
Yeah, just to remind people, just so you don't get carded anymore. That's what happens when you can't grow a mustache.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When was the last time you got carded?

Speaker 1 It's been a while. Yeah.
It's been a while. Do people in Cleveland recognize you when you go out? That's why I grow this mustache.

Speaker 1 Garrett, I actually had a question for you because I thought maybe you'd show up.

Speaker 1 You won the MVP of the AAF.

Speaker 1 Well, take aim. De facto.
Well, take aim, maybe MCAT.

Speaker 1 He said you had the MVP at the time of the

Speaker 1 first AAF, well, only AAF championship. Congratulations on that.

Speaker 1 Congratulations on that.

Speaker 1 What was it? I mean, obviously the AAF kind of got you here, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 it was a lot of fun. It's been a long time since I've...
played, so it was a lot of fun getting to play again. But, you know, obviously that league had a lot of issues

Speaker 1 with, you know, payments. And I was just talking to an AAC.
Did you get paid?

Speaker 1 Yeah. One of our training camp interns, the equipment interns, came and introduced himself, said he was working with

Speaker 1 Birmingham Iron, and he didn't get paid until like two weeks ago. No way, champion.
Yeah, that's right. He was so close.
Did you get a ring? You should get a ring. I need to order one.

Speaker 1 You should make your own ring. No, Spurrier got one like a week ago.
Yeah, Spurrier made it a home. Yeah, what was it like playing for him? He made that his home.
It was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 In his twilight years, Steve Spurrier doesn't have a lot else going on. He's going to make himself a ring, but it's downtime for sure.
Yeah, they had a whole ceremony and everything.

Speaker 1 Did they?

Speaker 1 It was just like Steve Spurrier at like a daiquiri bar.

Speaker 1 What's that? His wife, Jerry Spurrier. And I think he called out Rick Newheisel again.
I love that. Oh, that's so perfect.

Speaker 1 What was it like playing for him, though, in his Twilight years, so to speak? It was a lot of fun. He is

Speaker 1 unique.

Speaker 1 He's a different guy, but it was a lot of fun playing for him.

Speaker 1 He's got a good perspective on the game. And, I mean,

Speaker 1 he keeps things interesting, to say the least. He wasn't out there shirtless like he was back in South Carolina.

Speaker 1 How many times did he bring his golf clubs to practice? Well,

Speaker 1 it was disappointing because I want to get out there and play with him, but he had just had back surgery, so he had a hard time moving around.

Speaker 1 I've heard a story that the end of his run at South Carolina, the team would be practicing on a field and he would be on the adjacent field just practicing his arms.

Speaker 1 Someone else is going to have to confirm that, but I don't doubt it. What is his football philosophy? It's just like, fuck it, let's score points.
Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 not in so many words. Yeah, we're going to score more points and then have a great time doing it.
Yeah. That's perfect.
Throw it to the open guy. It's, you know,

Speaker 1 easy game.

Speaker 1 With your coach this year, Freddie. Freddie's coming in hot, I heard.
So it's like one of those things.

Speaker 1 He was around last year, but this is his first year in charge of the ship. I heard he came in and he was just like dog-cussing everybody for the first couple practices, trying to set a tone.

Speaker 1 Is that right?

Speaker 1 Like in the offseason, or right now? No, no, like right now. Like he was fired up the first couple days.
He's fired up.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say he was dog-cussing everybody, but he was being very hard on everyone. You know, just setting the expectation.

Speaker 1 Like I said, he didn't want anything to get out of control, you know, for everybody's ego to get in front of him and just to make sure we're on page.

Speaker 1 Do you feel a little pressure knowing that like you and Freddy are almost so intertwined now? Because obviously you had success with him, and then I'm assuming you're going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 I'm still trying to learn the way he speaks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a little different now. Yeah.
I mean, it sounds like this.

Speaker 1 But you kind of helped him get a job, and he,

Speaker 1 you know, you thought I was

Speaker 1 going off the best of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think, but for

Speaker 1 a quarterback and the guy Colin plays to have a great relationship, I mean, you've got to click when it comes to the offense.

Speaker 1 And that's where it first hit, was how he sees stuff, how he breaks it down, how to eliminate quicker. And that's where it started.

Speaker 1 And then once I get to know him more and more, and having Drew that had been with him in Arizona helped a lot. So, I don't know.
We just hit it off. Do you call him Thick?

Speaker 1 That was his nickname in college. It was.

Speaker 1 Brazarians nicknamed him Thick. Oh, he was a quarterback.

Speaker 1 I think three C's. He was a big boy.
He's more like five now. He's up to five.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's the truth. He's quite a thick thick boy.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, I'm

Speaker 1 thick guy can say that. Yeah, it's thick boy summer.
We're all here for that. Thick boy summer.
Oh, yeah. Are you guys part of Hot Boy Summer?

Speaker 1 Not exactly. City Boy Summer.
Well, I said Hot Boy, and people say Hot Boy is thin. I don't know.
Garrett doesn't know what it is. Not sure what either of those are.

Speaker 1 Who won more state titles in your high school?

Speaker 1 You did? Garrett? That's Gatorade National Player of the Year. Okay, but I said state titles.
So

Speaker 1 you won one? Two? And you won one? Yeah. Woo! We won five in a row.
That's my senior year. That's deeper.
Deeper connected. That's my junior year.
We won the fifth one in a row.

Speaker 1 You guys were never on the same team, though, right? No, I played with his younger brother. Okay.
Isn't it awkward that you got really highly recruited by Texas and you didn't?

Speaker 1 And now you're starting over.

Speaker 1 I think we both don't like Texas. Now it's awkward.
Are we going hands down?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're both on that train. Yeah, you're horns down.
Garrett's a graduate, though. I am a graduate.
That's true.

Speaker 1 You're horns up for life, technically. Wait, so you have a degree from the University of Texas? Thank you.
He's awesome. But you're still a big long horned guy.
I mean, that's well.

Speaker 1 They can kill you now. They can legally execute you in Texas for doing that.
They probably can.

Speaker 1 That may be legal.

Speaker 1 Too many Big 12 quarterbacks on one team is a bad situation. We have Drew and David.
I know to even it out. That's right.
Big 10, yeah, like smart. But I'm like a smart, I'm like a tweener.

Speaker 1 I'm sort of conference USA. Yeah, true.
Yeah, yeah. Everything in America.

Speaker 1 American Athletic Conference.

Speaker 1 Truly the patriot in there. Yeah, you've got it all.
QB1 or franchise quarterback question: Do you concern yourself with the opinion of sheep?

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
Franchise quarterback. Good answer.

Speaker 1 Are you and Freddie? Can we use the term, like, you guys are married to each other? I just got married, so that'd be a little weird. I'm a minister.

Speaker 1 I hereby proclaim you're also married to Freddy Kitchens. Wait a second.
Let it be done. Let it be written.

Speaker 1 I'm a minister.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure how that works. My hands are tied.
I said it out loud. You're married.
You guys are intertwined together. It's going to be great for the football.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like you guys will click really well now that you're married. Do you finish each other's sentences yet? Yes.
You should just go and copy him and see if he picks up on it. Okay.
It's a little goof.

Speaker 1 All right. I have one last question.
How many wins are we saying? We have to guarantee it. Let's put it on paper.
We actually don't have to guarantee. Yeah.
So I'm thinking 11.

Speaker 1 11. That'd be guaranteeing 11.
That'd be great for a regular season, yeah. Great.
Okay, so that's a guarantee. I think that.
Well, I did not say guarantee. I think that put us in great position.

Speaker 1 You just said guarantee.

Speaker 1 I did not. I literally said the word guarantee.
I said the word guarantee. This is kind of like a dumb question.
Yeah, you did say the word guarantee. This is a dumb question.
I didn't say it, didn't.

Speaker 1 Oh. Okay, so

Speaker 1 double down. Guaranteed.
11 wins. 11 wins.
This is kind of a dumb question, Baker, but do you ever think, like, what if you guys just say fuck it and win the Super Bowl this year? That'd be wild.

Speaker 1 I mean, I wouldn't necessarily say it went in that thought process. Right.

Speaker 1 But this, I had that thought when I was flying here. I was like, what if Baker was just like, fuck it, let's win the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 I'm not sure it would necessarily go like me in the train of thought saying, screw it, let's go do this. Why not? Why? Just do and be legends.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm supposed to do. Full send.
Go full send. Are you guys going full send this season? Full send.
Okay, full send. Guaranteed full send.
I'm guaranteeing full send. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 If you win the Super Bowl, you're going to be insufferable.

Speaker 1 Because you're going to do the thing where you're really, you get on like Vogue and GQ, and then you lose a little bit of your bad boy, Street Cred. You're not going to come on this show anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not going to come on this show. You're going to be like on all the I got stuff coming out for you soon.
Okay, cool. All right.

Speaker 1 That's guaranteed. Nothing.
Yeah. I got a little muscle on you.
I'm going to talk about guys okay yeah

Speaker 1 we'll defend him against american airlines

Speaker 1 not we'll if we're welcome we'll give you a call yeah yeah for sure we'll deaf two-time state champion right so that yeah that's better than baker so that works um you got any other questions for them uh yeah one last uh franchise quarterback qb1 what was the last book you read i heard that you were a reader Where did you hear that?

Speaker 1 I just heard you were a reader.

Speaker 1 The last book I read.

Speaker 1 It's been a long

Speaker 1 I like how he's mad that people think he's a reader. Yeah.
Yeah. No.
This also means a long time. Alonzo.

Speaker 1 How are we doing?

Speaker 1 What's going on?

Speaker 1 I love this bus. You're good? Have you guys lit it at like Odell or anyone in here?

Speaker 1 He's stepfooting here. Okay.
Just Alonzo High Smith. Stepfoot.

Speaker 1 Are you answering the question? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I haven't finished a book in a long time. It's a franchise quarterback.
Yeah, I like it. Yes, that's what I was looking.
If you had an answer ready for me, I was going to dock you points.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You should be focusing on your playbook.
I am.

Speaker 1 Not like The Sun Also Rises or whatever you want to read. Yeah, you're like, the last book I read is The Giver in seventh grade.
That would have counted, too. I think I read of Meissenmen after that.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. There we go.

Speaker 1 Are there like different words that you're learning between Odell and Jarvis, like Louisiana slang that you've never heard before? No, I had a couple of Louisiana teammates in college. Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you have separate group text for different groups of players? So you can be like, hey, man, I'm going to get you the ball. Hey, man, I'm going to get you the ball.
Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to get you the ball. No, I just slide 20s under the table.
Oh, there we go. You should play Neck for them in the locker room after a game.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that should be the Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Do you guys have a team song or like a team song?

Speaker 1 No. Okay, it's Neck.
Yes. No, it's the Drew Carey song.
Cleveland. We're not Detroit.

Speaker 1 Cleveland Rocks. Come on down to Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 You guys nailed this interview. I'd say Garrett more than you, Baker, because we're going to keep you motivated.
Thank you. Because you like this.
You like this.

Speaker 1 But remember, don't respond to Colin Coward. We will.
You guys got it.

Speaker 1 I have it every single time. Anytime.
Bleep that out. He said it again.
Yeah, yeah. Anytime he goes at you, just let me handle it.
PFT. I haven't done it in a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but don't ever do it. I'm so mature now.
I'm married. I'm mature.
I'm not responding. Yeah.
Here's what you do. You can respond.
Just do CC, PFT, Cometer, Barstool, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 And we'll handle.

Speaker 1 And we'll just go. Just skip over.
Nothing.

Speaker 1 To use Big Cat's term, we will skull fuck him. We will.
We will. We will go absolutely insane on them.
You can't do the things we can do online. We will do those for you.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We got your bag. All the haters.
All right. Baker, Garrett, thank you.
RV bus, training camp tour. Appreciate it.
Yeah. Good luck this year.
11 wins, guaranteed.

Speaker 1 Okay. And a Super Bowl ball.
Full send. Full send.
Legends. Thanks, guys.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boars Head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 1 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boars Head retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 1 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 1 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 2 Hey, this is Rhea from Chicks in the Office, and this season, we're heading home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch. We all know our calendars are about to get chaotic.

Speaker 2 For non-stop plans, Abercrombie has the pieces to curate your perfect seasonal wardrobe, sweaters and denim for casual plans, party dresses for nights out, and comfy matching sets for everything in between.

Speaker 2 Keep the chaos cute this season in Abercrombie. Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments.

Speaker 1 Ooh, we gotta see Jim Kelly out there watching Swag Kelly. Love it.
Proud Papa. Hell yeah.
Not his dad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's close enough. He looks like a dad.
Yeah, yeah. If Swag Kelly brings them back, it will be the greatest,

Speaker 1 greatest comeback in Bill's history. I just want to say it.
In a Bill's game. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 I would like to say that between Andrew Luck and Swag Kelly, I need to know what those conversations are like. I need to be a fly on the wall that meeter.
I don't think they speak the same language.

Speaker 1 No, no. At all.
Definitely not. Definitely not.
You're right, though. Swag, you want to join my book club?

Speaker 1 And then Jacoby Brissette's got a little bit of like southern twang to him, which is, so it's really the bro, the nerd, and the southern twang.

Speaker 1 I figure if you ask Swag Kelly to join your book club, he's just going to shoot you. Yeah.
He'll just burn the book. He'll literally take out a gun and be like, fuck that.

Speaker 1 No, he'll like, he'll, he'll take the book out and make you eat it. Eat this book.
Eat this book, nerd. He'll fucking stuff it down your.
Oh, God. All right.
That's over. That was fun.

Speaker 1 That was fun for like two seconds. I was like, Swag Kelly's going to bring me back, and then the Bills just scored.

Speaker 1 Peter King ate the trash. So, Peter King

Speaker 1 was doing a hit with Dan Patrick and got pulled over because you're not supposed to talk on your phone while you're driving. It's very dangerous.
Very dangerous.

Speaker 1 This has become, you know, you do it one time, then that's a mistake. You do it twice, he tweeted out that picture of him driving to Chargers camp in the bike lane.

Speaker 1 In the bike lane, I think it starts to, it's time to start asking, should Peter King have a license? He should have his license revoked. I agree with that.
He is a menace. He is a threat.

Speaker 1 Maybe he was actually, he was probably just listening to part of my take.

Speaker 1 We should never let him on the show. He heard that.
No, you know what? You're right. King? Good kid.

Speaker 1 Until you remedy yourself, until you go back to driving school and prove that you're not out there to cause havoc on the road, you're no longer welcome on the show. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 It's just we have to look out for our listeners. It's yours.

Speaker 1 I'm going to stand behind that band right here. And he also got really mad at people who were tweeting at him and laughing at him.
He said,

Speaker 1 it's like I murdered somebody. Well, dude,

Speaker 1 next time you might. You could have.
He said, I told the cop when he was giving me the options about how I could contest a ticket. That's okay, sir.
I'm guilty as sin. Oh, wow.
You think you're sick?

Speaker 1 Oh, you think that, like, if you just admit to murder, everyone will be like, okay, cool. Yeah.
Just carry on with our lives. Good news for Peter.

Speaker 1 He'll still let himself into the Hall of Fame, no matter how many people he runs over. This is totally off the field.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But seriously, Peter, seek help. Seek help.
We want to see you be okay. Also, Peter King, he told the police officer, I'm guilty, like right off the bat.
Way to go.

Speaker 1 Peter, there's something called the Constitution and the Fifth Amendment, and you're doing all your listeners a disservice by not informing them that they have the right not to incriminate us.

Speaker 1 He probably was like, go ahead, search my whole

Speaker 1 article. No, just search my hole.
Search my hole. Search every hole I have.
Officer, I have numerous cavities. Put a glove on.
Oh, man. Okay, we have a just chill out.
Some things, I stink, I stink.

Speaker 1 Just chill out, man, for Adam Gace. So, Adam Gace, there was a story.
It was when when he was, I believe, the offensive coordinator for the Denver Broncos. And essentially, his wife gave birth.

Speaker 1 And the story goes, they pulled the baby out of me. This is his wife talking.
They pulled the baby out of me and said, it's a boy. Jennifer told Dan Pompeii.

Speaker 1 They didn't even put my organs back and sew me up before he's like, you good? This was a C-section. I said, yeah, I'm good.
He said, all right, then, I'm out.

Speaker 1 They said, you want to cut the umbilical cord? He said, no, I'm good. And he just went back to practice.

Speaker 1 I wish that there was a picture of him and like his wife having a water delivery in a pool and him wearing the Broncos helmet looking at his playbook like Peyton Manning was.

Speaker 1 He is, he also, Adam Gates did some smelling salts before the preseason game. His eyes are just wild.
Yeah, that's a man that does not need smelling salts. No.

Speaker 1 His upper lip is a permanent smelling salt from going off of his eyes. When he just wakes up in the morning, he's got those googly eyes and he's ready to go.
I think he's just, he's allergic to air.

Speaker 1 He takes a sniff of oxygen. He's like, oh, let's go.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
That's, yeah, big time. You good? All right, I'm out.
All right. See you.
See ya. I'll see you when you.
See you at home. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How's your uterus? Four days. How's that youth doing? Okay, peace.
Okay, you think you could play?

Speaker 1 If it was a playoff game, would you be able to play? Yeah, deuces.

Speaker 1 I'm out. Take it easy.
Good luck with your badge.

Speaker 1 All right. So next one, we have a stay classy for Dabbo.
So this was a big, I think it was a big debate in the college football space.

Speaker 1 Apparently, Big Kat, did you do a podcast the night of your birth? Yeah, I did. But I was.
You and Adam Gase. No, no, no, no.
Wait, was it? No, it was the next day. Okay.
Yeah, that's more reasonable.

Speaker 1 It was the next day. I was like, wait, fuck.
We should have just had a podcast that day just to see if you were committed enough to come into it. Yes, it was born on a Wednesday.

Speaker 1 We did a podcast a Thursday.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 Dabbo has been criticized because he did not give Kelly Bryant a

Speaker 1 ring. Kelly Bryant famously played first four games.
Trevor Lawrence took over, which was the right decision. He then left school and is now the quarterback for Mizzou.

Speaker 1 So if you want to check out all the Mizzou training camp stuff, our guy Caleb's been crushing it there.

Speaker 1 So this is a big story because Dab was like, no, fuck that. You left.
You don't get a ring, even though you played four games for us. Right.

Speaker 1 Did he request a ring and they said, no, we're not going to give you a ring? I don't know about that. I do know, though, who would you think had the hottest take?

Speaker 1 I know where you're going with this, so I can't answer. But I'll play your game.
I'll play your game, big cat. Who had the hottest take on this one? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would say that if there was a guy out there that would tell Kelly Bryant to go fuck off and jump off a cliff because Dabo Swinney's a great human being, it would probably be Danny Connell.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he went the other way. So the opposite direction on the argument.

Speaker 1 His argument was Kelly Bryant didn't make a dime at Clemson. Dabo just inked $93 million guaranteed new deal.
Just give the kid a damn cubic zirconia ring and move on.

Speaker 1 He did win one out of four of their games, or one-fourth of their games. That has nothing to do with the argument.
No, but it does tell me that Danny's getting soft. Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 1 This is concerning to me. No.
We need Danny to be that guy. We've talked about this.
Yeah, we need Danny to be, he's turned into millennial, Danny Canelial. Yes, he is.

Speaker 1 But this is like the SpongeBob verbal meme where the guy where SpongeBob has his hands going everywhere, twisted around.

Speaker 1 This argument, like, what does Kelly Bryant not getting a ring have anything to do with Dablosrini making money? Yeah, I don't really get that. It means they left the team.

Speaker 1 It means he's throwing us a bone saying, like, hey, maybe the players should be paid. Right.
He's like throwing us a bone being like, I'll admit that. Okay, you have one of two options.

Speaker 1 Either you get paid at school or you get a ring if you transfer. Yes, yes.
And in this case, I'm coming down on the ring if you transfer. And he had every Kelly Bryant had every right to leave.

Speaker 1 that's i mean you see it all the time with coaches they they go back and forth and if he's not going to play he might as well you know save his eligibility and go play somewhere else i don't know if it was an eligibility thing but he wasn't going to stick around if he wasn't going to play and dabo has every right to be like no dude you don't get a ring right and kelly bryant He should have to give back all the life lessons that Dabo taught him when he was at Clemson.

Speaker 1 True. Accountability.

Speaker 1 Leave that in South Carolina, buddy. That sweet slide they have in their facilities.
Give that back. Give those slides back.
Give that fun back.

Speaker 1 Give the memories of you sliding and give it, wash your hand until all the remnants of that rock that you get to touch come off.

Speaker 1 Make Kelly Bryant go back to Clemson and just keep walking up the slide as many times as he went down it. And go up the hill.
Yeah, he walked down. Yes.

Speaker 1 He should have to walk up that hill, be driven back down by Dabbo until he learned his lesson. I like it.
Okay, last up, we have Jimbos and a very special guest for our Jimbos. Let's go to that.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to wrap up the show with Jimbos and a very special guest. It is our friend Brendan.
He is in from Buffalo and AWL who won the charity.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys remember, but we did the charity for

Speaker 1 dogs. Blogs for dogs.
Was it Social Tees? Social Tees. So it was adopting dogs.
And so Brendan won the charity. He's been here all afternoon hanging out with us.
He saw us interview Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 1 And now we're going to do Jimbo's with Brendan, who is Bill's mafia. Have you gone through a table?

Speaker 6 I've never gone through a table, but I actually have something to tell you.

Speaker 6 When I went to Jacksonville two years ago for the playoff game, and I saw Uncle Chaps down there, and I'm actually in a barstool video yelling, Handsome Hank is a better reader than Uncle Chaps, Go Bills.

Speaker 6 So I'm really nervous now because I'm outspot.

Speaker 1 I'm on spot. Yeah, it's a whole other ball game with a bright light.
You didn't have to tell us that, by the way. That was the pressure's on.

Speaker 1 That was a great game that you went to. Oh, my God.
Blake Bortles tearing it up in that torrential windstorm. What was the final score? 7-3? 7-3.
Yeah, we got the fuel going.

Speaker 6 We're at the whole one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's huge.
That was huge.

Speaker 6 That's what we did 17 years for, 15-hour drive.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Whenever you hear shout, do you just start doing the Let's Go Buffalo? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm actually jealous of that part of Buffalo. The wedding season is massive.
Yes.

Speaker 6 We used to do the real, like, the, you know, the, you know, the shout song with the wedding, and then boom, they do the Bills one right afterwards.

Speaker 1 I'm leaving that wedding.

Speaker 1 How many pairs of Zubaz pants do you own?

Speaker 6 I got one pair of Zuba's pants that I've worn for the past 12 years, and I got Zuba's overalls that I got a few years ago, and a very sweaty Zuba's hat.

Speaker 1 And then what's your favorite wing place?

Speaker 6 Well, definitely Barbill. Okay.
No doubt about it. You guys went there a few years ago.

Speaker 1 That'd be funny. That was a good good move.
Oh, so good.

Speaker 6 Yeah. You used to have the mini and you get 10 wings with that.
That's the play. Get it all.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And do you drink Mad Dog?

Speaker 6 I don't drink Mad Dog. I'm a Bud Light guy.

Speaker 1 So I'm a sponsored guy. Okay.
All right. So let's do it.
Jimbo's with Brendan, who is in from Buffalo. All right.

Speaker 6 We got one here. I was high, and a woman had a small black thing in her purse, and I thought it was a dog.
Went over to say hi, pet dog. Turns out it was a camera.
Wicked, embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah. You're just a technology guy.
You're a cam girl now. I love gadgets.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 There is, by the way, I don't know if you guys do this, but every time I see a dog on the train, I always take a picture of it. Because it's always so funny.

Speaker 1 Like a dog on the train is just a weird thing to see. They're not actually supposed to be on the train either.
Really? You have to be able to keep it in your,

Speaker 1 hold it in a bag. Uh-huh.
I should get a hammock for Leroy. Interesting.
So if you see it, that person's breaking the law. No, you should put Leroy in like a hockey equipment bag.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just cut out four holes in the bottom of it and just have his legs hanging out. We just like four of us carried it on together.
I might have to do that.

Speaker 1 Actually, if I could enlist your help, Leroy's getting cataract surgery in like October. Yeah.
We should do that. We should take him on the train.
I'm down in a bag. Yeah.
Okay. I'm down.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll put Stella in my baby Bjorn thing, too. So we'll just all go to the fucking

Speaker 1 surgery. Big family.

Speaker 6 Took the afternoon off work for a dentist appointment that required me to take extra strength anxiety medication that knocks me unconscious. Showed up to the dentist 10 minutes before it was

Speaker 6 supposed to kick in in to find out my appointment is next week.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's tough. But you get a bonus day.
Yes. You can always just tell your boss, like, they screwed up my appointment.
They had to push me to next week. Yeah, that's actually a great day.

Speaker 1 Like, you're on a little mini-by-vacation. He's about to be unconscious.
That's fine. It's their problem.
Here's the thing. If you pass out somewhere, you are no longer required to remove yourself.

Speaker 1 That's on somebody else at that point. Yeah.
All right. I'm going to stop you real quick, Brendan, for a second.
I just made a text because I wanted to do something for you because you were nice.

Speaker 1 What was the final charity that you guys paid?

Speaker 6 What do I get at? $5,200?

Speaker 1 That's fucking awesome. That's so awesome.
So I wanted to do a little something special. I just got the text back.
We're going to call Josh Allen real quick. Really? All right.
We'll give him a little

Speaker 1 pump-up speech. Oh, my God.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 You just talk a little loud. I will.

Speaker 1 What up? Yo, we got Brendan here from Buffalo. He's the biggest Bills fan.
He's going to give you a little encouragement for the season.

Speaker 6 Josh, you ready for tonight, man?

Speaker 1 You ready?

Speaker 6 We got to beat those Colts tonight.

Speaker 6 Yes, sir, absolutely. Oh, it's fantastic, man.
How many 80-yard touchdown, 90-yard touchdown, were you throwing today?

Speaker 6 I don't know. We'll see.
They play a lot of little soft zones, so. All right, work them.
Work them.

Speaker 1 Wait, this is one of those situations like

Speaker 1 Babe Ruth promising the kid in the hospital.

Speaker 1 Are you going to throw a touchdown for Brendan tonight? Don't you put that evil on me, Richard.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what it sounds like, Josh? Since they play a lot of soft zone, you can guarantee a five-yard completion tonight how about that

Speaker 1 I will guarantee

Speaker 1 the left side right side what should I be looking for yeah what should you be looking for which side or are we just saying let's go left side left side five or more uh-huh yard completion for Brendan that is a Josh Allen guarantee that's I mean that's a man of the people right there Josh Allen's the quarterback for the people Josh if you can't complete it will you come to my high school that I work at Bishop Tyman will you come in and say hi to my boys if you can't get that five yarder

Speaker 1 uh yeah

Speaker 1 thanks man this went from just a regular phone call to sorry we just signed you up from some for some stuff there josh our bad all good all right

Speaker 1 all right man good luck tonight we'll talk to you later

Speaker 1 all right

Speaker 1 oh i like the piece there that's a fucking rare thing good sign-off yeah it's like an early aughts thing peace peace out deuces um all right so there you go you got the i'm in that's

Speaker 1 we need to when we when he completes it we need you need to text all your buddies at home to make sure they dvr the game okay so when you when he gets the completion, you're going to get us the clip and we'll put it all together for you and tweet it out from part of my table.

Speaker 1 The guaranteed five-yard

Speaker 1 in the soft zone. Dude, if he only plays like two plays, that's going to stay.
He'll get a five-yard.

Speaker 1 I'm getting in my own head. I'm getting in my own head.
Dude, six.

Speaker 6 Do I win?

Speaker 1 No, yeah,

Speaker 1 five or more. Five or more.
Five or more. Five or more.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get back to Jimbos.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Oh, what do we got here? We got, I hooked up with a girl that's evidently into slapping the shit out of people during sex. She beat me up and it was a 10 to 8 round every time.

Speaker 6 I kind of just rode with it and I teach boxing classes so I felt like I couldn't just ask her to stop because it was painful and awful.

Speaker 6 I'm supposed to hang out with her again and boy do I need some advice on how to not get wrecked during sex.

Speaker 1 I'm very jimbo like that.

Speaker 1 So this guy just basically wanted to brag that he had sex. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, okay. We get it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think if you were to pull 100 guys on the street and say, hey, you can have sex, but you're going to take five slaps to the face? I think 99 of them would say yes, even trade.

Speaker 1 So not really a jimbo. Yeah, not really a jimbo.
He just wanted to tell us you had sex. Which I understand.
Yeah. I get it.
Yeah, it's the first time you ever had sex.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just want to brag to everyone. That's what I just did with Jerry.
Yeah, you rode into us and you were like, hey, I finally had sex. It was sick.

Speaker 1 Awesome. Okay.

Speaker 6 I got caught being stoned. And when my parents asked me if I was high, I insisted I had, in fact, been crying.
As you might expect, they didn't take the bait. Felt like I was in high school again.

Speaker 6 I'm 22 and just graduated college. And now my dad's so upset, he's driving to the city to pick me up from work so he can talk with me.

Speaker 1 Okay, hold on. First,

Speaker 1 back up. Is your dad Mike Huckabee? Yeah, your dad, 22 years old.
That's, that is, he is out of the, you know, house. Well, I assume he's out of the house.
And maybe not, actually. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 My roof, my rules. Yeah, yeah.
But still, come on, dad, chill out.

Speaker 1 This actually, though, is so funny because I feel like every kid in the history of kids has thought that they got by their parents when they were higher drunk and the parents always know always know they always know always know always always know although a good excuse better better hank hank hank's dad is visiting as well is directly behind him is directly behind him being like yup i always knew when hank was smashed hank if you've ever used a crying excuse wink he can't see you but yeah i i like replay all the times where it's like oh yeah my dad knew another mom knew yeah it's crying is pretty good i also use the uh I just went swimming at the pool.

Speaker 1 Right. There's a lot of chlorine.
Yeah. Heavy chlorine day today.
Yeah, I just. Oh, you always get hungry after you go for a little backstroke.

Speaker 1 I watched that the Life of Dogs movie, whatever, that just came out. Yeah, Marley and me.
Yeah, yeah, right. It's a fucking tear jerker.
Or that YouTube girl. All right.

Speaker 6 Just moved to L.A. Still haven't ran into Rasillo.
And the first friends me and my roommate made here were from his work.

Speaker 6 And I drunkenly broke their stripper pole at their apartment the first night we all hung out.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's actually not a jimbo because if you have a stripper pole at your apartment, I don't think there are any rules.
That's basically saying to everyone, no rules in this house.

Speaker 1 If you break something, who the fuck cares? Agreed. And it's much better that you broke it than a stripper came over and broke it because then that's lawsuit city.
Right. Then you're in trouble.

Speaker 1 I would love to see, like, wonder the guys who got the stripper pole in their apartment, how bad of failed actors are they? Yeah. Like, they are definitely, they've been in LA for a few years.

Speaker 1 They're basically playing swingers every night on Friday nights, like watching it. Stripper pole.
This is sick. Yeah, they're just playing NHL 94 and ordering takeout.

Speaker 1 But the pole is still in the back.

Speaker 1 By the way, there's nothing more lonely and pathetic than an apartment with a stripper pole when there are never strippers over. Yes.
Oh. It's like hypothetically, I could have a stripper right now.

Speaker 1 Now, on the other side of it, what would be great is if you have a couple floors and you have a fireman's pole. That's a dream.
Yeah. That would be a dream.
That is pretty much.

Speaker 1 No stairs, fireman pole.

Speaker 1 also if you have a stripper pole and you have strippers over you can also get an atm for your house and then charge like 4.99 in transaction fees every time your friends take money out so you're just living in a strip club that's kilbert arena yeah yeah yeah in west virginia when we were west virginia the atm fee was guess uh three dollars no other way oh really

Speaker 1 it was 35

Speaker 1 are you serious it's like how they made all their money jesus christ it was insane people in west virginia have 35

Speaker 1 it was insane it was and they ran out out of money. Yeah, and they ran out of money.
They ran out of ones. Not that we would know.
Yeah. That's what I have.

Speaker 6 I got one more here.

Speaker 6 Went to Saratoga recently with my dad, whose work rented out a space in the new 1863 club. Real nice area with your own betting kiosks.

Speaker 6 My buddy gave me a tip, and I hit a trifecta for roughly $200 on the first race.

Speaker 6 I went to bet on the second race, and in the excitement of entering my picks, I forgot to hit return balance and walked away.

Speaker 6 Didn't realize this until about 15 minutes after, and the kiosk has obviously been used since then. Lost about $170 and didn't win a single race the rest of the day.

Speaker 1 But you know what? Gambling karma will eventually come back for you. Like that one you'll get.

Speaker 1 At some point, you're going to win a game that you shouldn't have won and you can be like, yep, there it is. Paid forward.
Yeah. The gambling gods work.

Speaker 1 They at least have a little bit of a heart sometimes.

Speaker 1 All right, Brendan, thank you so much. Can we get a prediction on the bills season? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Easily 11-5.

Speaker 1 Oh, is he going to win the AFC East this year?

Speaker 6 We'll be right there. You You know, that fourth game against the Patriots.
You're going to come down for it, Hank? You're going to come down? Probably.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah, we might be out there.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We definitely want to go back to Bills Mafia. Is that the one on Christmas Eve or whatever? No.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, that's the one in New England.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
So, wait, when do, like, when?

Speaker 6 The one in Buffalo is, I think, whatever, September 30th.

Speaker 1 That's too early. You need to, if we go to Buffalo, we got to go in November.
But I like it for the Bills, though. There's no big expectation build-up.

Speaker 1 You'd much rather play the Patriots if you're one and three than if you're like 10 and 5, and maybe you need this one to get into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 And it's also very funny watching a Bills game in September and like the entire city of Buffalo doesn't know how to deal with a suntan and they're all just stuck in the sun and like, what the hell is going on?

Speaker 6 It gets real gross and sweaty.

Speaker 1 It was just a lobster. Yeah.
Like, god damn it.

Speaker 1 All right, so Brendan, thank you again for the charity. That was awesome, man.
Thanks around the iron. Hopefully you guys, yeah, hopefully you guys had fun.
Yeah, that was fun. And Josh Allen passed.

Speaker 1 Has to happen.

Speaker 6 Josh Allen passed for sound of Bishop Time in high school.

Speaker 1 Yes, there you go. Okay, that's our show.
Stone Cold Steve Austin coming on Monday, one of my favorite interviews we've ever done. Do I love you guys? Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a little macho, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, brother.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're about to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today isn't my day to find you shy away.

Speaker 1 Though I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Take on me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 up,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 Tell me less to say.

Speaker 1 I'm upset.

Speaker 1 Fuck me, somewhere a little way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry. Take Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 drink on me, take me

Speaker 1 up,

Speaker 1 drink of me.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 up,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 You

Speaker 1 forever

Speaker 1 say

Speaker 1 it alive.

Speaker 1 Whatever

Speaker 1 you wish.

Speaker 1 You all think I've got to remember. Shining away from me.

Speaker 1 All the came

Speaker 1 anyway.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 only

Speaker 1 I'll make

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 all

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 I'll make

Speaker 1 you.