Baker Mayfield, Mt Rushmore Of Worst Sounds + Return Of Jimbos

Baker Mayfield, Mt Rushmore Of Worst Sounds + Return Of Jimbos

August 09, 2019 1h 27m Explicit

Preseason Football is here aka name that backup QB you forgot about. Kirk Cousins is having center butt sweat problems, and a Bosa is hurt. (2:42-10:14) Fyre Fest of the week we spent 10 hours in an airport but TGI Friday's was lit. (10:56-16:01) Mt Rushmore of worst sounds featuring special guest Mr Lockwood (Hank's Dad). (16:02-31:10) Baker Mayfield joins the show to talk about expectations, how we'll handle the haters for him, his QB RV and special appearances from Drew Stanton and Garret Gilbert. (33:14-1:01:46) Segments include Peter King ate the trash, (1:04:55-1:06:45) Just Chill Out Man - Adam Gase, (1:06:46-1:08:17) Stay Classy Dabo,(1:08:18-1:11:44) and Jimbos with special guest AWL who donated to dogs with blogs. (11:45-1:23:49)


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Full Transcript

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

On today's Pardon My Take, the end of the training camp week tour,

we have Baker Mayfield in his RV, Garrett Gilbert, Drew Stanton pop in.

We have a whole good time with everyone.

We also have Fire Fest of the week have a whole good time with everyone.

We also have Fire Fest of the Week, a little preseason football talk,

Mount Rushmore of worst sounds or noises in the world,

and a special guest for Jimbo, for Jimbo's.

Actually, two special guests for Jimbo's. We have someone who was kind enough to donate to the Dogs for Blogs charity.
And then also we called a certain quarterback from Buffalo who has a rocket arm. The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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Okay, let's go.

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today is friday august 9th and we got preseason football pft it is back and i'm so happy until i looked at my bets for the first half and i only i think i went one and six so fucking stupid oh hey it's a long preseason it's so stupid it's a long preseason big cat to be like hey you know what i i'm gonna apologize to Trey Wingo. No, absolutely not.
Okay, fine, I'm not. But I bet like every single game and it was so stupid.
It's a long preseason, Big Cat. To be like, hey, you know what? I'm going to apologize to Trey Wingo.
No. Absolutely not.
Okay, fine. I'm not.
But I bet like every single game. You take it back.
It's so stupid to me. No, you take it back.
No, you take it back. Is that even a line? No.
I don't know. I don't know if that's a line from a wedding crash or anything.
I'm statistically, I should be better at the preseason. You know how like when Hugh Jackson was a coach for the Browns, he went 0-16, 1-15.
I think he went he went 8 no in the preseason so like going off that logic if you suck in the regular season right it's like they say the lottery is a tax on the on the stupid yes this is like this should be a rebate yeah for us stupid brains this should be when we win our money but it is not uh but here is the fun thing about the preseason which I love it is name backup quarterback. You basically get to see a bunch of guys that you forgot about playing in an NFL game.
So I went down the list of guys. I was like, oh, shit, that guy.
It might be because of a new team or you just forgot about him. Matt Barkley's on the Bills.
I think we knew that. Yeah, we did.
Joe Webb on the Texans, who was lighting it up. My guy.
Joe Webb. No surprise there at all.
Shout out Joe Webb. Legend.
Joe Webb III. Matt Schaub.
Matt Schaub. He was actually doing well, and I bet on the Dolphins, so fuck you, Matt Schaub.
Trevor Simeon is on the Jets. Yeah.
Didn't know that. Trevor Simeon's shaking it up.
Yeah. Tom Savage is on the Lions.
He got hurt. He did? Yeah.
Fuck. Like immediately.
All right, Tom Savage isn't on the Lions anymore? As far as I'm concerned, Matt Stafford just never has a backup quarterback. Yeah, yeah.
He's just Matt Stafford. Maybe Dan Orlovsky.
Yeah, he has a backup quarterback to come in for one play when Matt Stafford limps because he limps basically every game. Yeah.
But he never goes out. No, even when Matt Stafford has an elbow injury, he'll limp off the field.
He just registers pain as being like, oh, I can't walk. Brett Hundley's on the Cardinals.
Oh. Geno Smith's on the Seahawks.
I didn't... Wow, Geno Smith.
So we got Geno Smith and Pax and Lynch. Yes, yes.
New cradle of quarterbacks in Pacific Northwest. If you put...
If you combined Pax and Lynch and Geno Smith's powers, they would be like one quarter of Russell Wilson. Yep.
That's about exactly right. Case Keenum is on the Redskins.
Yes, Case Keenum. I know he technically started, but he's really a backup.
Yeah. Ryan Tannehill's on the Titans, which I think we knew, but I also, I'm just always used to him being on the Dolphins and taking, this is the year that he finally makes it all happen.
Takes that next step for sure. Fitzy.
Did the fucking Giants just do an onside kick? They did. Did they? They recovered? I don't know.
They didn't. They did not recover.
Okay. Okay, so then this happened.
Fitzy, let me get your thoughts on Fitzy wearing that teal, that Miami teal, because the candy-ass uniform I don't think really plays with Ryan Fitzpatrick. No, his belly looks a little bit bigger.
He does, yeah, absolutely. The pastels don't work for a Harvard man.
He needs crimson. It's also weird, preseason football, because you can't watch.
It's like Reddit Stream City. You've got to go find everything.
And it's just weird seeing all these football games go on, but you can't watch any of them. No, well, you can if you're resourceful enough.
I put up a tweet that showed my own personal Red Zone channel I had going on my computer back and forth. Yeah, but I had to delete the tweet because I don't want to blow everyone else's spot up.

Because the NFL doesn't know that people stream games on Reddit.

That's true.

So got to be careful about that.

Freddie Kitchens, it's always a real treat

to see these brand new head coaches,

to see their small little quirks and mannerisms on the sideline

that we can pick at and make fun of for the next five years.

So with Freddie Kitchens, one thing I noticed immediately,

right off the bat with him,

big watch tan on his left wrist. He's been wearing the same watch in the exact same spot does it shock you that he's not a sun tan lotion guy does not shock me at all or maybe it's just like he hasn't earned his brown stripe yet yeah on his wrist or he's players he just rubs some dirt on his skin he's like this will cover it yeah i'm fine.
I'm fine. The other thing I love about preseason football,

when we were watching it, it just happened

a minute ago in one of these games.

Because everyone is competing

for a roster spot,

it is live ball city.

So if there is a pass that is

incompletion, the defense just jumps on it

like, ooh, this could be a fumble. They pick it up, they run

it all the way back. Yes.
Every single

ball is a live ball, and it's like, guys,

you really don't have to do that.

They didn't onside kick, so I'm fucked. I lost

Thank you. Like, ooh, this could be a fumble.
They pick it up. They run it all the way back.
Yes. Every single ball is a live ball.
And it's like, guys, you really don't have to do that. They didn't onside kick, so I'm fucked.
I lost the Jets first half. I'm sorry to hear that.
So did I. I did too.
Alex Taney and whatever the hell. Well, if they air this out, who is that? Who's Mike Glennon, the emaciated Mike Glennon? Who? I don't know on the Jets, the backup that's in right now.
Oh, the Jets have, I don't know who the Jets. It looks like Mike Glennon.
Oh, no,. With Scurvy.
Yeah, Trevor Simeon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's lost a lot of weight, huh? Yeah, Trevor Simeon's looking good. Hasn't been eating well.
All right, so we also had a couple NFL stories that we wanted to hit on. First up, stop me if you heard this before, but a Bosa's hurt.
Yeah, he has a foot injury. So Nick Bosa has like a severe high ankle sprain, sprain i guess so this as is custom in the bosa household you you tie their they pull themselves up too hard by their own bootstraps so they have weak knees it's and weak ankles it's crazy like i know we don't joke about injuries and all that stuff blah blah blah blah that was uh i just say that yeah just to come no we got we got it out there but goddamn the bosas just love love to get injured.
Yeah. They were held by their ankles and dipped in the Ohio River when they were babies.
It's crazy. I mean, it's the Boses and Sean Lee.
And Sean Lee actually got hurt. He is hurt, yeah.
He's always hurt. But that's not even something we should talk about because it's almost a given.
Yeah, I tell you what. We will give you a Sean Lee update if he's not hurt.
Right. The minute he plays four games four games in a row yeah then we will come in with a breaking news alert uh the giants daniel jones oh young eli yeah lit it up eli man eli manation yeah this is uh overreaction time too daniel jones is the best quarterback in the nfl right yeah and uh i was watching the the first half of the bears panthers david montgomery is the greatest running back I've ever seen in my life.
Both these facts are true. If you watch a first quarter of a preseason game, you can make all the judgments you want.
Because guess what? You have that right because you watched the first quarter of the preseason. True, true.
But Daniel Jones didn't throw any touchdowns after the weather delay. Oh.
So is the way to stop him, the blueprint, out on him? Yes, it is. He's probably not a good quarterback in this climate change future of the nfl the other the other story we had from the nfl kirk cousins is complaining because his center's ass sweats too much so that's really tells you where we're at in terms of the sports calendar he's actually concerned about this because he said it makes the ball really slippery oh god when he put what he might throw an interception in a game? Yeah, he might not be able to beat a 9-17 because the ball is a little too slippery.
Damn, Kirk. We've got to fix that.
Kirk, how about you just make your center underwear made out of aluminum foil? And then that way it'll be nice and safe. Yeah, exactly.
Just throw that on there like it's on the grill. By the way, the fire trucks, we've been told, will be fixed next week.
Not going to happen. We were told next week, last week.
I actually talked to all business Pete, all fuckhead Pete, and he was like, yeah, we're installing an inch of glass. And then he said, but there might still be some holes in the sound.
Okay. So it's not going to be fixed.
Yeah. Listen, a great way to get me to just put something off is tell me it's going to happen next week.
Right. Just all the time.
Next week. Okay.
We're good. Next week.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
We're fine. It absolutely works for me.
Next week. All right.
Let's get to some of the other stuff we got, including Baker Mayfield. Before we do FireFest, though, BarstoolGold.com slash PMT, if you want to watch Baker Mayfield interview in his RV.
Baker Mayfield, by the way, credit to him. He is a pro in media because every time we made a slightly inappropriate joke, he pulled the microphone away from his face so he could laugh.
So if you're listening, you're like, is he not laughing at the joke? Oh, he was laughing. Also, Matt Patricia on Wednesday, that's why you didn't hear him laughing.
Right. He took the microphone away from his face too.
We actually didn't turn his microphone on.

Yeah, that's true.

That's why.

All right, so yeah, BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.

And Don Brown, which was an awesome interview, being a dude, guys being dudes.

So check that out.

That dropped, our bonus episode dropped yesterday.

Firefest of the week.

We need a team, Firefest.

I don't think in the history of part of my take, and we've been doing it for a while now. We're going on almost on our fourth year.
We have jinxed anything worse than what we did on Wednesday when we were up in Green Bay. We interviewed Matt LaFleur.
We interviewed John Kuhn, Danny Vitale. Vitale.
Vitale. You can't do that, though.
You can't beat Dickie V. I know.
It's tough. You can't have a famous person.
You can't share the same name as a famous person and have it be pronounced differently. Yeah, exactly.
Like the guy that landed the plane in the river. That's just how I have to pronounce my name.
Right. There you go.
Exactly. Exactly.
All right. So we were up there.
We finished the interviews. So good.
We're like, we got this. We're going to drive to Milwaukee.
Got an earlier flight. Earlier flight.
That was the real jinx right there. So we finished with Vitaly and Kuhn.
We sit down in a Taco Bell, and we were eating our lunch. Yeah, it was a Taco Bell.
By the way, Hank's dad is here, so we'll get to that with Mount Rushmore. Yes, it's a Taco Bell.
So we're sitting in there, and we're talking about how awesome we made this trip. We're like, this is the most efficient trip we've ever had.
It was awesome. Landed last night, talked to a ghost, watched Hard Notch, recorded the show, woke up, drove up to the Packers, did a tour of Lambeau Field, talked to John Kuhn, Vitaly, and Matt LaFleur, just took in the incredible environment of Lambeau Field.
A dump. And then now we did so good, we're going to bump our flight up two hours and get back to New York early.
Eight o'clock, we would have been on our couches. And then we're driving down to Milwaukee.
And boom, alert, hour of delay. Boom, alert, your flight has been canceled.
Boom, your new flight goes from Milwaukee to Atlanta, Atlanta to New York. So then we spent the next basically eight hours in airports flying, sat in the back row.
You had to sit, bitch. I sat in the middle in the back row.
I don't like the term bitch. I have a couple neighbors.
Yeah, yeah. It was like I'm a townhouse.
Yeah. And then we got home.
And the worst part is you can't. Hank had bad vibes, which you did have bad vibes.
You had bad vibes in the car. But you can't blame the airline when it's thunderstorms.
So we were powerless. I mean, you can.
You can, but you're an asshole. I will at some point.
So we didn't get home until 2.30 in the morning. But the one saving grace we had, we went to TGI Fridays in the Atlanta airport.
And it was bumping. And then right as we're about to leave our waitress said are you guys in a band or something like what we have a podcast she's like oh i could just feel the creative energy coming off of this table yeah and and then we're like you know what actually do you know who sunny digital is yeah she was like of course from atlanta best friend and you were like yeah we put out a couple tracks so no big deal.
Yes. But TGI Fridays, you might be thinking.
Sounds like it's not a fire fest at all. No, yeah.
You guys were cheating on Chili's. While you might be technically correct on that.
TGI Fridays has Chili's. The vibes of TGI Fridays is.
No, it's not. The playlist they had going was something else.
I felt like I was there on a three-hour party. Yes.
Just tossing back with the boys yeah john legend remixes all up in our face there's nothing there's no better feeling than getting drunk in an airport before your flight and uh so yeah we spent the whole day in the airport and uh it was a fire fest but we deserved it because we jinxed ourselves uh hank do you have a personal fire fest? No. Okay, I have a personal fire.

Do you have one?

No, go ahead.

Oh, okay.

Well, my personal fire fest is on Tuesday.

We ghost hunted and I've been just... Things just haven't been the same since.

I just want to ghost hunt for a living.

You want to ghost hunt?

Do you want to change careers?

I want to say goodbye to all of this and go and fucking ghost hunt.

Maybe just a new podcast we can do.

What do you think is out there?

Everything.

It's limitless, Hank. You know there was a ghost in your bedroom.
There were two, actually. I know that guy wanted there to be a ghost.
No, no, don't start. Hank, Hank, you saw the ghostometer just like we did.
You heard the spooktometer. There were at least two ghosts.
You heard their voices. I just know when I i like something like that when you when you get a taste of the ghost life i'm just every single morning i've woken up and it's been like well probably not gonna find any ghosts today do you just go do my shitty job that doesn't involve ghosts this sucks do you think that there are ghosts in cars as well or just just in homes.
Oh, there's ghosts everywhere. Everywhere.

Everywhere.

It'd be sick if you bought a haunted car.

I want to buy a ghost.

I want to buy a ghost in a shoebox and let it out in the office.

And that would be awesome. We can probably make that happen.

And then you can blame anything bad that happens to you on the ghost.

But we also learned that there could be ghosts of animals.

Right.

So Larry, we probably have Larry. Yeah.
But think about this. Like, oh, bad episode, guys.
Well, probably our ghost. We weren't feeling it.
Our ghost was all up in our ass. That's a good point.
Yeah. It's an automatic out.
It's basically like you can anything that happens in your life. Well, I've been dealing with a ghost.
Get out of this podcast now. We need to fucking get a ghost.
All right. Let's do our Mount Rushmore.
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Oh, you mean they should go to the ghost store and bring one to me? Bring one at... This is just...
These fucking fire trucks and just... Everything is...
I'm pretty sure that the firehouse is like a block away. Right underneath us.
So every time that there's a fire, they have to come by. Right underneath us.
I just think that this is New York. Always an emergency somewhere.
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Okay. Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore of worst sounds. That one's on there.
This one is on there. For everyone at home, you can put fire trucks and cop cars that are in our podcast every single episode.
I actually had that. An ambulance in the background of the podcast was on my list.
It's okay. That's fine.
Listen, you got to adjust in this league. All right.
So what are we doing? Are we going to let Mr. Lockwood have his own four picks or do we want a Team Lockwood pick? You guys are sorry.
I kind of like Team Lockwood. Okay.
Team Lockwood. Team Lockwood.
Okay. Like a golf tournament.
All right. so i have first pick uh i will go with i think the number one overall i think everyone agrees your alarm clock there's nothing worse see obviously your phone if most people use a phone but holy shit does it suck when i first got a this is ridiculous yeah this is actually perfect though for worse sounds it.
It's driving into our studio. Yes.

Fuck you, Pete.

Everyone tweet, all business Pete.

That's all business Pete.

He not only tell me he's a fuckhead, but I actually just emailed him 100 new Madden codes. So if you want a Madden code, PS4 or Xbox, you can DM him or tweet him.

I actually heard that he has FIFA codes.

FIFA codes.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

New FIFA out. Transfer window just happened.
Yeah. Pizza.
he has FIFA coats too. FIFA coats, yeah.
Oh man, new FIFA out. Transfer window just happened.
Yeah, Pete's a big footy fan, so hit him up and ask him about that. He literally has all the coats.
We gave him all the coats. We're like, dude, you deal with it.
So yeah, hit him up. Is it at all business Pete? Easy to remember at all business Pete, all the coats.
Alright, alarm clock, number one. That's a good one.
Okay, my first pick is going to be a dentist drill that's a tough one oh oh like team lockwoods uh-oh okay uh-oh okay you guys are gonna have to learn how to adapt on the fly now but yeah the sound that a dentist drill makes especially when it's on you because you get that extra vibration because it's going through your jaw. That is a tough one.
I hate that one.

That one sucks.

Easily just don't go to the dentist.

Yep.

That's what I've learned to play with it that way.

Just got to do that.

Okay.

Team Lockwood is up.

All right.

Team Lockwood.

Was that going to be your first pick?

That was going to be my first pick.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

However, we're going to start with this, the worst sound that you hear, license and registration.

Oh, good one.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, unless you have, I have that card that shows that I give to the police.

You just, you give that right underneath.

You're like, oh, I'm sorry, officer.

I didn't know I put that in there.

Yeah.

Whoops.

My bad.

Sorry.

Pick two for Team Lockwood. Pick two for Team Lockwood.
We will go with the Amber Alert sound on your phone. Oh, yeah.
Oh, that must be a huge inconvenience for you. Damn, that little kid got snatched, and Hank just wants to keep watching his fucking vines.
Yeah, that's tough. Well, when the fucking...
All right, whatever. Come on.
I was in the middle of a TikTok. But sometimes it's like a flash flood.
Oh, warning and you're like what the fuck no it is scary it is very scary because the child probably won't come back exactly that's my point it's the worst sound to hear because you're like fuck a kid is lost now and all I care about is the wealth of kids good job Hank way to fix that okay alright second one, my second worst sound is your dog peeing in the middle of the night. Ooh.
In another room. Okay.
On the floor. The little tinkle that wakes you up and you're like, man, now I have to do like four things to fix this situation.
Yep. Okay.
That's a good one. All right.
My second and third pick, I'm going to go with second, open mouth chewing. Anyone who's chewing with their mouth open, it's fucking disgusting.
Remember when we used to do that? It's bad radio? Yeah. Ugh.
And the spitting and it's just gross and just trying to talk to you. My dad wouldn't let us chew gum in our house.
Good. Just ever.
He's a good father. Smart.
That's a good father. Doesn't want you having bad habits.
Well, he probably did it because he didn't want you fucking swallowing all the gum, you psycho. Did you teach him that? That you can swallow gum? Gum was prohibited, so the fact that he was swallowing it was fine.
He swallows all his gum. That's why he did it, because he had to hide it.
He had to hide it from you. Oh, shit, dad told him swallow this gum.
Gum belly. Destroy the evidence.
Okay. Alright, right my next pick i'm going to go with uh let's go with when someone is playing their instagram videos in public and it's so fucking annoying because it's one thing if you play a video and you can kind of sense what's going on or a song but the 15 seconds and just going scrolling person to person that will drive you insane almost instantly okay mine is kind of along the same lines i'm gonna go with any song that's being played in someone else's car that you can hear it doesn't matter it could be every now and then that will that will bump it could be your favorite song in the world but if you're at red light and someone comes bumping next to you.
If it's driving that you can hear. It doesn't matter.
It could be every now and then that will, that will bump. It could be your favorite song in the world, but if you're at a red light and someone comes bumping next to you, if it's driving past you, if it's driving away from you, it is awful to listen to every now and then that can bump.
You get the Doppler effect going where the pitch starts to shift, the closer it gets and then gets away from you. All right.
Team Lockwood, fill out your Mount Rushmore. Third and fourth.
Third and fourth. Third and fourth.
So I'll go with the third, and I'm going to keep it to sports and say the buzzer when it goes off when you are the losing team. Good one.
Good one. That's a very good one.
Good one. I thought Team Lockwood for sure was going to go with, like, the soda fountain when Baja Blast is out.
Just not hearing the... Yeah, yeah.
What? This is a personal one, but the sound of folding paper. Like a crease and folding paper.
But cheese is fine. Yes.
Okay. You're not creasing your cheese.
When you fold your cheese, it separates and then you have little slices. You fold the fold the paper, and then when you make the crease sound.
You don't like that? It's the worst sound in the world. Okay.
Worst sound in the world. Okay.
All right, my last one, I'm going to go with Drake. Damn.
Just Drake. Digging in.
Going on Drake all week long. Just burying myself in this Drake take.
Drake hate week. All right.
My Drake. My last one is going to be.

Thank you for watching this presentation.

The National Football League on a Monday night.

That sucks.

That sucks.

Obviously, the Super Bowl one is the worst.

But that Monday night one, we're like, well, because, you know, you look forward to Monday football.

You just came off a whole Sunday of football.

And then that hits.

And you're like, well, no more football

for another fucking three days. This sucks.

And at that point, you know that your bet is final.

Yeah, yeah. It is.
The outro

to Monday Night Football is

such a shitty, shitty sound.

That reminds me of

the 60 seconds tick was a big miss.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.
On a Sunday

afternoon. Alright, honorable mentions.

That's a good one. That was a huge miss.
Someone taking a shit next to you in a public toilet? Yep. Bad.
Not great. Dropping bombs? Mr.
Lockwood's got a mess. Crinkly plastic off a mint kind of paper when someone takes it.
Just holding it in their fingers. Yeah.
You guys don't like the crinkles. Have you reached the age, Mr.
Lockwood, that you just have hard candy all over your house? No. Okay.
That will be interesting when that happens. When the Werther's happens.
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That's what you know. Like the Tom Brady, like don't eat sugar, don't eat like anything.
Oh, yeah. Water.
Interesting. Throw it straight away.
And do you know how your son, like his diet? Yes. Okay.
All right. Yeah, the hard candy around the house, that's basically the 60 minutes clock for your life.
Because when you start doing that, maybe a couple cashews, the fucking nut thing. I don't mind the cashews.
Yeah, but it's always been out for like three weeks. Yeah, exactly.
Just in case someone comes over. You're like baiting your ass.
And no one comes over because you're 90 years old. That's what happens.
You just leave these treats out. You're baiting a friend to come over.
How about, let's just get out in the open. The Hank Lockwood yawn.
Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.
Because he's told us that it's hereditary. So is that true? This is true.
All right. So can you give us an example, Hank or Mr.
Lockwood? I'll do it if you don't. I can't conjure that up.
It's like a... That's pretty good.
That's pretty good. I heard it probably 20 times sitting next to him on the flight.
That's every single time he yawns. He basically sounds like his brain is lacking oxygen.
It sounds like he's having an exorcism. He can't function without sucking in an insane amount of air.
Now, Hank, is it an inhale or is it exhale? Because it sounds like an exhale. It's an inhale.
I don't really know. It's an inhale-exhale.
Import-export. Yeah.
How about the Welsh accent I had on here? Okay. Okay.
How about the sound a toilet makes when you've clogged it? And when you know the flush hasn't been clean and you're like, well, this is going to suck. And you've got to figure that one out.
Especially when you're playing on a road game. That's really bad.
That's not a good one. Just any time somebody's in a bathroom and you hear them say, oh, shit.
If I'm standing right outside. You never want to hear that.
That also goes for any time someone's in a kitchen. Yep.
If you're in a kitchen and you hear the, oh, shit, someone probably lost a finger. You know what we missed? Smoke detector.
Yeah. That's a really bad one.
Smoke detector. I had hold music because it usually means you're just doing something you really don't want to do.
Unless it's that fucking jam that goes... It sounds like Rocky's about to come on.
Yeah, yeah. What's our rough and rowdy guy's name? Chris.
Yeah, his playlist. Go, go.
Which is all Rocky. It's all Rocky.
Yeah, new age Rocky. Yeah, I had when you turn on NBA on TNT and it's Reggie Miller and Chris Webber.
Oh, that's a good one. What about Doink? I hate the Doink.
All right, okay. No, I hate it.
I knew we were going to get there. You're the one that had it as your best sound.
I know, I know, I know. It's one of my worst.
I hate the Doink. All right.
Okay. No, I hate it.
I knew we were going to get there. You're the one.
No, you're the one that had it as your best sound. I know.
I know. I know.
It's one of my worst. I hate the doink.
A little throwback, the Vuvuzelas. I like the Vuvuzelas.
No, that sucks. It added a little something extra.
You didn't like the Vuvuzelas. It reminded me of bees.
Shut up. You did not like the Vuvuzelas.
That shit sucked. Oh, Jackhammer, too.
Yep. If you wake up next to me.
Although, living in New York City now, it doesn't even bother me. I wake up with a jackhammer next to my bed probably, I don't know, six out of seven days a week.
So it doesn't even phase me anymore. Microphone interference when you're not expecting it.
Yeah. That's pretty bad in the headphones.
Yep. That sucks.
Bubba singing. A misplaced reggaeton horn a good reggaeton horn that's that that flows seamlessly with what you're trying to do as a dj or a podcast always works but if you put them in too much especially at the front of your show yeah it's pretty bad it's tough to listen to that is bad um anything else we missed this good list you got anything else mr.
Or a cat fight. Yeah.
Oh, I like a cat fight. No, cats fighting.
It's tough to listen to. If you have a dog or an animal that's in pain, when you hear that noise, that just triggers you right away.
Yeah, the wine, the dog wine is the worst. That will break your heart.
Shout out that chick who got canceled with the all-time race. She's going to win the takey of the year.
Wrap it up. She hit her dog.
She spat on her dog. And then accidentally released the footage and then released an apology and had 90,000 replies.
But you know what? It was a prank. She was doing a prank on her dog, as we always do.
She put saran wrap on her door frame and then called her dog to come visit her. Her dog was like really excited.
And then she accidentally deleted the prank out and then left in the part where she hits it in the face. Oh, nice.
Epic dog prank. I like the part where I choke my dog.
It started where she was dabbing and like smiling and then it went to her just hitting her dog. But epic dog prank.
I feed it chocolate and grapes. I for one am shocked that a youtuber is an asshole i never thought a narcissistic person who decides oh i'm gonna tape every single part of my life and be like this is awesome guys check me check me out going to the gym today yeah yeah that person is an asshole never saw that like subscribe guys hey guys hey you're into dog abuse like subscribe.
Do check that out. We're not tubers like that.
I'm never going to abuse a dog on camera or off camera for that matter. That was very big of you.
Yeah. And a good correction.
I'll take a stand. Because that implication was bad.
No, Leroy, he will tell you. He might get it wrong, but he'll tell you.
I'll tell you what. I do abuse Stella by kissing her too much.
You know what? Giving her too much love.

I give Leroy a hug sometimes so hard he goes.

Yeah, exactly.

A little just air comes out.

You're like, yeah, that was a good hug.

That was a great hug.

Yeah.

And that probably is animal abuse because dogs don't really like to be hugged.

Kissing your dog on the face, I think they kind of like it.

No, definitely.

I don't think that that's animal abuse.

Yes, definitely like that.

Snuggling.

Sometimes I snuggle too hard.

Yep.

Sorry.

Okay.

Should we do it? Baker Mayfield. We have.
Oh, Swag Kelly. Swag.
To the house. Swag.
Very good at escaping in this circumstance. Before we started, I said if the Colts win, I would do something that I don't want to do.
But suck a dick. Okay.
So Swag Kelly to the house. Colts might be back.
So let's get to Baker Mayfield.

We actually have a big announcement with Baker Mayfield that you probably heard on Thursday. I think someone in the sports biz beat, which I can't believe we didn't get that.

Jake, disappointed.

All right.

Hey, you guys remember Jill?

Yeah, Jill just hasn't been around. It's been like a month.
She's just going to stroll back in smiling. With a bunch of hard candy for us.
In two months and be like, what's up, guys? Okay, so let's get to it. Baker Mayfield.
So before we get to the Baker interview, he is the next biggest body armor athlete. This is exclusive news that we're breaking right now.
Probably already came out, but that doesn't matter. Baker, body armor.
We're in your RV. You got it stocked with body armor.
And is it – did they give you the new wheels for the 2019 training camp? Is that true? This one? Right here, yeah. We're working on something because we play at Indianapolis.
We go practice there for a couple days. So we're going to have this thing decked out.
Okay. Andrew Luck, obviously body armor athlete as well.
Yep. And what made you become a body armor athlete? You just like, this stuff tastes so good and PFT and Big Cat drink it? Or what was the? A little bit of everything right there.
You know, I like the light kind. Because I'm watching my figure.
Me too. 20 calories, yeah.
Me too. I mean, you don't get built like this unless you drink light.
Or like this. I was saying earlier, he probably just saw how awesome we looked, and he was like, I want to look like these bloggers.
Yeah, so I'm going to start just drinking the light body armor. All right, so you're a body armor athlete through and through.
Yeah. Are you going to do it at your press conference, or you can't do that? It's a little complicated.
Okay, all right. It's not the brown stuff.
Roger would have a little letter in the mail. All right, so we'll just drink it all the other times, and we're very excited that you are a body armor athlete.
We're body armor athletes. Cheers to being body armor athletes.
Rookie mistake. And then we just announced it.
Now let's go to the Baker Mayfield interview. Do you guys just claim you're athletes? We are athletes.
I am very much. I don't know if you saw.
Have you ever tried a podcast for an hour and a half straight? I don't know if you saw I did four clap push-ups on Friday.

Still a little sore from it, but that's an athlete.

I walked on the treadmill and checked Twitter for like 20 minutes on Friday.

Boom, athlete.

Boom, athlete.

I'm about to get my ribs broken playing rugby next weekend.

Athlete.

Playing rugby?

Yeah, not well.

That's why it's going to suck and I'm going to get my ass kicked.

I'd kick your ass in basketball.

You were probably All-State or something, right?

Oh, no.

Garrett Gilbert's saying no.

Good.

Body armor athlete.

We've got two sports.

Thank you. Yeah, not well.
That's why it's going to suck. I'm going to get my ass kicked.
I'd kick your ass in basketball. You were probably All-State or something, right? Oh, no.
Garrett Gilbert's saying no. Good.
Body armor athlete. We've got two sports we can beat you in.
Why are you here? Yes. All right.
Baker's a body armor athlete. Let's go to the interview with Baker.
Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest, friend of the program, and franchise quarterback, Baker Mayfield. Thanks for having me.
I saw you yeah franchise quarterback that was a test you love that term right yeah i absolutely love it yeah you guys are just right yeah so we're gonna this whole interview we're gonna basically see if you actually are a franchise quarterback because we read that article from mina kimes great article the fact that you don't want to be called a franchise quarterback already is a red flag that you're not a franchise quarterback. Big red flag.
Big red flag. To me, that means you're more of a QB1, which is not bad.
That's not a bad thing to be. Right.
But franchise quarterback, that's like the next level. So actually, let's get started.
If you were to grill meat, would you put down aluminum foil underneath the meat, or would you put it right on the grill? Right on the grill. Okay.
Maybe French. That's right.
He could be a French quarterback. We'll check in later.
Okay. So last time we saw you, it was middle of the season, right after a coaching change, a little weird in the facility.
Now enough time has passed. You are the hottest topic in the world.
You are the most hyped team in the history of NFL football.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, I don't know.

So let's start there.

Are you nervous at all about the hype?

Maybe for the fans?

A little heartbreak?

I don't know. It feels like there's just...

The hype train has gotten a little out of control, wouldn't you say?

I think the attention from the media, yeah.

But the fans are just excited to have that excitement for football again football again yeah since it's been not so great for a while um them having something to look forward to this season i think is the reason why they're so excited okay but we got a bunch of guys that really want to win and so we know how good we can be which can be great or it could be really bad right freddie's doing a great job of having us focus we haven't done anything yet. We've got to go to work every day.
You need to do an interview in the next couple weeks during training camp and say you're the dream team. Get it really.
Lean into the hype. Really? Yeah.
That's actually a great idea. The target's so big that everyone's like, Baker is so full of himself, dream team.
That would go well with that Fox reporter guy. Oh, yeah.
We'll get to that. We'll actually bleep his name out.
We'll have to say it on the air. You know what? Let's get to it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Let's do that right now because I think you need to stop responding to him.
I think you need to let us respond to him. Well, you guys haven't done it yet.
No, we have. Every single time you go.
You didn't handle my American Airlines problem. I told you.
I did. No, that told you I did.
Yes, no. I DM'd you and I hit up American Airlines and said, I'm going to skull fuck you in honor of your wife's bags and I was ready to go.
Did they not fix it? Did the bags get found? They got found. Okay, but he took another one.
A sense of urgency is all I'm asking for. I was on top of it.
You got shit on for that, too. Yeah, that's all right, though.
People were like, oh. I fly united anyways here.
You have to use the blue check mark. Yeah, there we go.
Listen, we have your back. When Colin...
Shit, bleep that out, Hank. When he says something about you, we are the first people.
We call them... What do we call it? Baker takers? Yeah.
It's become like a cottage industry almost recently uh you had greenie doing a little bit you've got cc yeah doing it and there are some other people from espn that know that you're kind of like this lightning rod a little bit so if they say something like a hot take about you they're going to get a lot of attention so we're just trying to cut that off at the knee can't respond you can't respond my first outlet yeah he wants to he wants you to respond then he gets a whole show out of it. We just need to do it for you and fight fire with fire and be like, Colin, we speak on behalf of Baker.
We have power of attorney with Baker, so we get to make all decisions here. And then he doesn't get the thrill.
And then you can also disavow if we go too far, which we will. We will.
I'll be like, hey, Colin, fuck yourself. And then there's enough separation between you and us where it's not you saying it, but wink, wink, you're saying it.
It's kind of like when you did the whole thing with Odell saying the Giants fans aren't great fans. You said that before Odell.
Mina took that out of context. He wanted you.
He was about our fans being excited. That was smart of you.
Odell was like, hey, Baker, make sure you get a line, a dig in for the Giants. And you said it instead of him.
Yeah. We know.
We know. You know that we know, too.
That's the best part. You said it was taking out of context.
What were you trying to get across that? The fact that Cleveland fans are excited to have him. And they don't care what he's done in the past.
They know what type of guy he is right now and what he wants to do and he wants to win. And they're excited to have him.
So that moment when he gets traded, how excited were you? Skeleton probably an 11. I mean the videos that came out of it, I saw that one video of the kid who got the cops called on him because he was just running up and down the streets screaming like that.
No, that was actually a thing including multiple people who got the police called because they were celebrating the trade. And that is so exciting for a fan base to have a QB1, maybe a franchise quarterback, and then trade for one of the best wide receivers in the league.
And you already have Jarvis Landry. Has he done anything yet in practice? Because, you know, he is a big practice guy.
Has he done anything where you're like, holy shit, this guy is unbelievable? Just, I mean, the way he catches the ball i mean it's just it's so natural to him it and then you can hear it when the fans see like he'll almost have a one-in catch and they make a noise because it's like almost so expected of him uh-huh and that's the i think the crazy part about it is it's so routine for him to do amazing things that sometimes you have to realize that's that's not normal right but it is for him. Right.
So when you see him, if he's covered one-on-one, even if he's covered, if the cornerback's all over him, you kind of still see him as always being open unless there's like two or more guys, right? Absolutely. You know, he's a guy that has a lot of range.
He's got a lot of body control where he can stop on a dime and flip his hips, go up and get the ball. So just learning how to throw to him.
I mean, he's got a lot of range. Do you like the new hair? It's different.
Yeah. I predict that the old hair is coming back at some point.
You think so? Yeah, I do too. I don't think anytime soon.
Have you guys planned a touchdown celebration yet? We have not. Are you going to? To be determined.
Who's the better dancer? Me. Yeah, there we go.
Is that a franchise QB or QB? That's a franchise quarterback. Well, I don't know.
That's an alpha. Yeah, that's an alpha.
Franchise quarterback doesn't care. How many tears are there? You know what a franchise quarterback does? It's a lot.
He takes the ball and then he hands it to a child in the first row. Okay, but I'm not.
He doesn't worry about a dancer. He has the ball, though.
Oh, you mean Odell has the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if you're the alpha, then you take the ball from your wide receiver. I saw Devin Funches hand like six balls that he didn't drop to Cam Newton to give away to a child in the front row last year.
Just something to think about. Since we last saw you, so we mentioned at the top, when we were here in the facility last time, it was the week after a coaching change.
So we didn't really get into it because it was all fresh and weird um have you spoken to Hugh Jackson not will you anytime soon or anytime you know like bury the hatchet although I don't I actually don't think you have anything to bury here he's the one who went to the media and did all that stuff when you saw him on TV like a week after uh he got. What was the conversation in the locker room?

Was everyone like, what is this guy doing?

Kind of like that, but also we didn't really care.

Right.

It was one of those things that kept getting brought up.

We're like, we're over it.

We're moving forward, and I think that's the reason why it's not even an issue now.

Right.

I think it was more of a deal that he went to a division rival.

That too.

Using the inside knowledge that he had.

It's like that was kind of a snaky move. I understand you want to go on TV, you want to get another job for yourself at some point, but the fact that he went to the Bengals, that probably stung a little bit.
I think it was more, and I said this, it was more of, you know, you're in front of us in the locker room asking for us to play for you, and then two weeks later you go to a division rival that we play twice a year, and he's still getting paid so what people didn't understand was you know he still has income because everyone did the whole he's got a right to work yeah and i absolutely i'm all for that and i truly believe that he you know looking back on it he should have gone in and got a job right away you know just for the benefit of having a job right there and then for making connections and all that and so so I understand it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Right.

And so I think that's the biggest thing was, I mean, that's why I am who I am.

Yeah.

So I want to talk about that real quick, about why you are who you are,

because this kind of goes back to the hype around the Browns.

They are America's team this year, as first coined by me.

Did you ask Jerry Jones?

That I stole.

Listen, I can take Jerry Jones out.

I'm not worried about him.

He's old.

He's frail.

I stole that take from Hawkins, from Baby Hawk, so it's my take now.

But the Cleveland Browns are America's team this year.

With all that hype, you're a guy that likes to play with a chip on your shoulder.

You rise to the occasion when people doubt you.

How are you going to be able to step it up when everybody's got your back and they're like, yeah, these guys are legit Super Bowl champions, guaranteed? I think it's more of just our Cleveland fans think that. We have to worry about what's going on in our locker room and have a mindset of blocking everything else out because I know exactly how this is going to go.
If we don't have a great year, they're going to throw us in the trash.

They're going to say, oh, you guys were so hyped.

You got egos, everything like that.

And so that's what guys have to realize.

But that's what I said earlier was Freddie's doing a great job of keeping it singular focused.

You know, having a big picture mindset of, yeah, we want to win the Super Bowl.

That's what you do if you play football.

But then realizing you have to win to get there.

Listen, if you guys start like one and two, I'm going to be like, Baker stinks. All hell's breaking.
Yeah. Like the Browns suck.
Don't you worry about that. At least you're being honest.
Oh, I'll tell you your face because I'm the king of overreactions. And then when you guys like then win eight in a row, I'll be like, who said that? Me? No, no way.
I didn't do that. I was hacked.
My phone was hacked. Yeah, no chance.
um one last few question how close are you to not shaking his hand after that game because i feel like you didn't want to but you didn't want to i wish you hadn't this is the of course you wish this is the problem okay this is my biggest baker problem is i love you i love your your uh swagger i think you are a franchise quarterback every now and then he thinks you said it. I'll take this media quote.
I'll take the beginning of that and I'll cut it off at the end. Every now and then...
He said it. You play by the real rules and I don't want you to.
You shake Hugh Jackson's hand. I wish you had just walked right by him.
You apologize for the Kansas thing. I don't think you should have apologized.
There are times when... We're really living in the past year now.

Yeah, but I want you to be like, you know what?

I don't care about any of this.

I'm here to win football games.

Every other social norm, that has nothing to do with winning football games.

You're so close.

You're so close.

It's a learning process.

Okay.

Someday I think you're going to get there and be like, you know what?

I'm never apologizing for anything.

Well, I mean, I wouldn't go that far.

Okay.

All right.

But that's my only gripe is that you apologize too much. Second Franchise QB question.
Yeah. Did you let Swagger kiss you on the lips? Yes.
Okay. I like that.
That's Franchise QB. Yeah, yeah.
People should let dogs kiss them on the lips. Always.
Maybe not their sons. I did like other franchise quarterbacks.
Yeah, yeah. But definitely the dogs.
Definitely the dogs. I didn't wipe my mouth after it, though.

Swagger has some

slobber issues.

In front of Swagger?

Did he see you?

He turned his head.

Okay, good.

All right, then

that's fine.

What I like to do,

I've got a Mastiff

too.

I wipe the slobber

and then I just put

it right back on him.

Like, circle of life.

Just recycle it.

He's a towel and a

faucet.

How much money do

you think Kyler

Murray owes you?

For what?

For basically

starting this, like, you can have quarterbacks from the Big 12 that are short do well in the NFL. Oh, my gosh.
You're not that short, though. And Kyler Murray's perfectly average height.
He's 9-9. He's 9-9.
So how much money? He's going to be pissed if he hears this. How much money does he owe you? I actually, like, it's a joke question, but if you weren't successful last year,

I don't know if he goes number one.

Like, that's a Lincoln-Riley thing,

and everything gets kind of going,

and it's like, okay, these guys are special.

I see both sides, but also there's guys like Drew and Russell

that have kind of paved the way early on.

So I think even if I didn't play this year

and injuries didn't happen and I wasn't

thrown into it, I still think Kyler would have gone number one.

Just how talented he is.

He can throw the ball. I saw a couple clips

of practice in shorts. He's putting it out there.

He can sling it.

And he can move too with the shorts.

Is it really easier to throw football in shorts

as opposed to wearing football pants?

It's better naked.

What do you think about Horns Down? The whole rule that they're implementing. Who do we have? Who do we have? We should have even said.
We're on the RV. We are lucky enough.
We have Drew Stanton and Drew Stanton's family. Okay.
Come on. Come on, Drew.
What's up, Drew? Come on. Asher coming.

Goldie!

The whole family.

Little kids here.

What do you think about the horns down?

I think it's very soft.

They're implementing a rule about it.

Yeah.

You don't think so?

It shows the sensitivity of today's day and age.

This was a savvy move by Baker to have Drew Stanton bring his whole family in here so

we couldn't ask any more hard questions and censorship. Drew, what's up? You want a mic real quick? I have a question for you, Drew.
Drew Stanton's here. Drew, you remember that time we played in...
Dominated kickball. Okay, let me finish the question.
Remember that time we played in Greg Olson's kickball tournament and you took it way too seriously and everyone was like, yikes. Drew Stanton.
Do you see his mustache? Do you see his mustache? If anybody knows Greg, they know he takes everything way too serious. everyone's like yikes yeah do you see his mustache do you see his mustache if anybody knows Greg they know he takes everything way too serious I played on that team remember were you still on the team when I played on it like two years later no he didn't let anyone drink and it was insane kickball tournament kickball kickball tournament Greg came with that seriously but yeah you took it way too seriously everyone's like this is awkward so did you guys all get together and decide to grow bad mustaches at the same time, or is that just coincidence? What do you mean, bad? I'm hating because I can't grow one.
I'll be honest. I'm lashing out.
I can see that. Yeah.
I love your mustaches. I think they look great.
Is this a QB thing? I think it's next for you. Yeah.
You need to go back. Yeah, I do need to go back.
Strength in numbers. Yeah.
Like, if you make fun of one person with a bad mustache, but you can't make fun of everybody with bad mustaches. That's true.
That's true. So I got to hop back on it, and so that way I can join the club.
Yeah, you're welcome to join the club. Yeah.
I mean, I'm an original mustache guy, so I need to get back into it. The original mustache guy? Well, no, one of the – Yeah, no, Big Cat makes these proclamations.
Compared to you guys. Every now and again.
I mean, you just said you coined America's team. No, but I also said that I stole it at the same time.
Mustache versus America's team. I think that's pretty fair.
Big Cat, the inventor of the mustache. PFT invented America's team.
I did, yeah. Is the air not on in here? Yeah, because of the sound.
David would be in a lot of trouble if the air wasn't on. Yeah, so what are the rules of the RV? Well, there's a lot of rules that David Blau has.
The first rule of the day is when the Godfather shows up, he needs his cold brew with just enough foam on it still sitting on his desk. Okay.
There's a reason it's nitro, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has to be on the foam.
Yes. RV has to be stocked at all times.
Oh, we got the Browns camera here. And then we also kombucha after practice.
Kombucha. Ooh.
Now you're down to QB one again. You guys are not Cleveland.
The fans of Cleveland are going to be like, that's not a franchise QB. What does kombucha do? It's good for gut health.
So it makes you poop more or less? I'd say more. More? It's got to do one of the two, right? More.
It's not making me go less. Wait, so you let David make rules on this bus? Is that because he's not going to be on the team very much longer? No're in.
That was mean. We like him, though.
We like him. He's a football guy of the week.
He's a great guy. He doesn't make the rules.
He just has to follow him. Okay, got it.
Do you miss Brogan at all? Of course. Is there any aspect about Hard Knocks being around that you miss? No.
Not at all? Not one bit. What advice would you give to the Raiders about how to deal with Hard Knocks this year? That's going to be entertaining.
I might actually watch. Yeah, so you're going to start to love Hard Knocks like a fan, along with the rest of us this year.
Because now I don't have to go through it. It's not nearly as miserable.
Yeah, exactly. No, it's a great show.
And with the team they got, like John Gruden, Deuce Gruden, mostly Deuce Gruden. Deuce Gruden, yeah.
Deuce Gruden again. Part of the article, I actually need a SeatGeek question right now.
So SeatGeek put in, SeatGeek sponsoring all training camp week. Go to a Browns game.
The Baker said they're going to win the Super Bowl. Put in promo code TAKE and you get $10 off.
So you said in the article that you no longer screenshot the haters. So I screenshotted some haters for you.
You want to read them? This dude is overrated. You'll see.
Teams have film on him now. He was underestimated last season.
Vince Young had a good rookie season, too. Damn.
That one's tough. Hey, guys.
This is Garrett Gilbert. What's up, Garrett? What's up, fellas? Garrett, I went to the same high school.
I'm reading the haters right now, Drew. Are the kids out of earshot? Okay, all right, cool.
All right, you know what's funny? You are so fucking overrated that every fucking top caster from the news to radio to whatever thinks you and the Browns would do well. It's so funny that you won't even hit playoffs, LOL.
That guy dropped an LOL on you. Baker Mayfield sucks.
You think he was actually laughing? Yeah, definitely. It was so funny.

It was so funny.

Did you not hear what he said?

Yeah, yeah.

I was listening.

He's a good QB, but this guy is actually kind of, I don't know what this is about.

Baker Mayfield sucks.

He's a good QB.

He's not great, nor will he be.

Too much ego, not enough talent.

We'll do one more.

Possible.

When you see how Browns fans treat Lamar, fuck that. Baker Mayfield can suck my dick from the back.
That was good. So what do you think about the haters, Baker? You don't screenshot them, but I'm screenshotting them for you.
That last one is creative. There was no LOL in that last one.
He was dead serious. That one was real.
Thanks for joining us, Garrett. Garrett Gilbert's here as well.
Yeah, so that was a nice entrance there. So what did you think about that one? The haters.
I mean, it's good stuff to hear, really. Yeah.
By the way, I actually had a couple questions. It is.
It keeps you grounded. It motivates them, right? We're LOL.
Two of my friends from back home already called me 12 years old. Yes, that's true.
That's your nickname? The 12-year-old? The 12-year-old. The fat 12-year-old.
The fat 12-year-old. Which is why he keeps facial hair.
Yeah, just to remind people, just so you don't get carded anymore. That's what happens when you can't grow a mustache.
Yeah. When was the last time you got carded? It's been a while.
Yeah? It's been a while. Do people in Cleveland recognize you when you go out? That's why I grow this mustache.
Garrett, I actually had a question for you because I thought maybe you'd show up.

You won the MVP of the AAF.

Well, de facto.

Steve Sperger said you had the MVP at the time of the end of it. He also claimed the first AAF, well, only AAF championship.

Congratulations on that.

Congratulations on that.

What was it?

I mean, obviously the AAF kind of got you here, right?, right? Yeah. I mean, it was a lot of fun.
It's been a long time since I played, so it was a lot of fun getting to play again. But, you know, obviously that league had a lot of issues with, you know, payments.
And I was just talking to him. Did you get paid? Yeah.
One of our training camp interns, the equipment interns, came and introduced himself, said he was working with Birmingham Iron,

and he didn't get paid until like two weeks ago.

Did you tell me he wasn't a champion?

Yeah, that's true.

Did you get a ring?

You should get a ring.

I need to order a ring.

You should make your own ring.

No, Spurrier got one like a week ago.

Yeah, Spurrier made his own.

What was it like playing for Spurrier?

He made that his own.

It was a lot of fun.

In his twilight years.

Spurrier doesn't have a lot else going on. He's going to make himself a ring in his downtime for sure.
Yeah, they had a whole ceremony and everything. Did they? Yeah.
It was just like Steve Spurrier at like a Daiquiri bar. What's that? His wife, Jerry Spurrier.
Yeah. And I think he called out Rick Neuheisel again.
I love it. Oh, that's so perfect.
Just keep going back and forth. What was it like playing for him though in his twilight years, so to speak? It was a lot of fun.
He is unique. He's a different guy.
But it was a lot of fun playing for him. He's got a good perspective on the game.
And, I mean, he keeps things interesting. He wasn't out there shirtless like he was back in South Carolina.
How many times did he bring his golf clubs to practice? Well, he was disappointing because I wanted to get out there and play with him, but he had just had back surgery, so he had a hard time moving around. I've heard a story that at the end of his run at South Carolina, the team would be practicing on a field and he would be on the adjacent field just practicing his iron play.
Someone else is going to have to confirm that, but I don't doubt it. What is his football philosophy? It's just like, fuck it, let's score points.
Yeah. I mean, not so many words, but yeah.
We're going to score more points than them. Have a great time doing it.
Yeah. That's perfect.
Throw it to the open guy. It's an easy game.
With your coach this year, Freddie. Freddie's coming in hot, I heard.
So it's like one of those things. He was around last year, but this is his first year in charge of the ship.

I heard he came in and he was just like dog cussing everybody for the first

couple of practices trying to set a tone.

Is that right?

Like in the off season or right now?

No, like right now.

Like he was fired up the first couple of days.

He's fired up.

I wouldn't say he was dog cussing everybody,

but he was being very hard on everyone.

You know, just setting the expectation.

Like I said, he didn't want anything to get out of control, you know, for everybody's ego to get in front of him and just to make sure we're on page do you feel a little pressure knowing that like you and freddie are almost so intertwined now because obviously you had success with them and then i'm assuming you i'm still trying to learn the way he speaks yeah because it's i mean it's a little different now yeah i mean it sounds like this i mean but But you kind of helped him get a job, and he – I think for a quarterback and the guy calling plays to have a great relationship, you've got to click when it comes to the offense. And that's where it first hit was how he sees stuff, how he breaks it down, how to eliminate quicker.

And that's where it started.

And then once I get to know him more and more,

and having Drew that had been with him in Arizona helped a lot.

So, I don't know.

We just hit it off.

Do you call him Thick?

That was his nickname in college.

It was?

Brazzarian's nicknamed him Thick.

How many Cs?

I think three Cs.

He was a big boy. He's more like five now.

He's up to five.

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's the truth.
He's quite a big boy He's more like five now He's up to five Yeah Yeah I mean it's the truth

He's quite a thick boy

I mean look

I'm from thick

I can say that

Yeah it's thick boy summer

We're all here for that

Thick boy summer

Oh yeah

Are you guys part of

Hot Boy Summer?

Not exactly

City boy summer

Well I said hot boy

People say hot boy's thin

I don't know

Garrett doesn't know what it is

I'm not sure what either of those are

Who won more state titles

At your high school?

You did?

Garrett?

That's Gatorade

National Player of the Year Thank you. boys in? I don't know.
Garrett doesn't know what it is. I'm not sure what either of those are.
Who won more state titles at your high school?

You did? Garrett?

That's Gatorade National Player of the Year.

Okay, but I said state titles, so

you won one? Two.

And you won one? Yeah.

We won five in a row until my senior year.

That's awkward.

My junior year, we won the fifth one. You guys were never on the same

team, though, right? No, I played with his younger brother.

Okay. Is it awkward that you got really highly recruited by Texas, and you didn't,

and now you're starting over?

I think we both don't like Texas.

Now it's awkward.

Are we going hands down?

Yeah, we're both on that train.

Yeah, your horn's down.

Garrett's a graduate, though.

I am a graduate.

That's true.

Okay.

Your horn's up for life, technically.

Wait, so you have a degree from the University of Texas.

I do. But you're still going horns down.
He's a big longhorn guy. They can kill you.
They can legally execute you in Texas for doing that. They probably can.
Horns down. That may be legal.
There's too many Big 12 quarterbacks on one team. It's a bad situation.
We have Drew and David. I know, to even it out.
Right. Big 10.
Yeah. Like smart.
But I'm like a tweener.

I'm sort of Conference USA.

True.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything.

American Athletic Conference.

Truly the Patriot in the room. Yeah, you've got it all.

QB one or franchise quarterback question.

Do you concern yourself with the opinion of Sheep?

No.

Okay.

Franchise quarterback.

Good answer.

Are you and Freddie, can we use the term, like, you guys are married to each other? I just got married, so that'd be a little weird. I'm a minister.
I hereby proclaim you're also married to Freddie Kitchens. Wait a second.
Let it be done. Let it be written.
I did not say that. I'm a minister.
I'm not sure how that works. My hands are tied.
I said it out loud. You're married.
You guys are intertwined together. It's going to be great for the football.
Yeah. You guys will click really well now that you're married.
Do you finish each other's sentences yet? You should just go and copy him and see if he picks up on it. Just a little goof.
All right. I have one last question.
How many wins are we saying? We have to guarantee it. Let's put it on paper.
We actually don't have to guarantee. Yeah.
So I'm thinking 11. 11.
Are we guaranteeing 11? That'd be great for a regular season, yeah. Great.
Okay. So that's a guarantee season Great So that's a guarantee I did not say guarantee You just said guarantee I said the word guarantee This is kind of like a dumb question You did say the word guarantee I didn't say it 11 wins This is kind of a dumb question Baker But do you ever think like What if you guys just say Fuck it and win the Super Bowl this year That'd be wild I mean I wouldn't necessarily say It went in that thought process Right But that's I had that thought When I was flying here I was like What if Baker was just like Fuck it Let's win the Super Bowl I'm not sure it would necessarily go like me in the train of thought saying,

screw it, let's go do this.

Why not?

Why?

Just do it and be legends.

That's what I'm supposed to do.

Full send.

Go full send.

Are you guys going to send this season?

Full send.

Okay, full send.

Guaranteed full send.

I'm guaranteeing full send.

Oh, man.

If you win the Super Bowl, you're going to be insufferable.

Because you're going to do the thing where you get on Vogue and GQ,

and then you lose a little bit of your bad boy street cred.

You're not going to come on this show anymore.

Thank you. Offerable.
Because you're going to do the thing where you're really, you get on like Vogue and GQ, and then you lose a little bit of your bad boy street cred. You're not going to come on this show anymore.
Yeah, you're not going to come on this show. You're going to be like on all the mainstream.
I got stuff coming out for you soon. Okay, cool.
All right, so that's guaranteed. Nothing.
I'll still come in with you guys. Okay, yeah.
Garrett, Garrett, you're welcome. We'll defend him against American Airlines.
If you're welcome. If not, we'll give you a call.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, Def two-time state champion, right? So that's better than Baker.
So that works. You got any other questions for them? Yeah, one last franchise quarterback, QB1.
What was the last book you read? I heard that you were a reader. Where did you hear that? I just heard you were a reader.
The last book read i like how you're been a long time i like how he's mad that people think he's a reader yeah yeah no this also means a long time alonzo um how we doing what's going on i love this bus you're good have you guys let it like odell step foot in here. Okay.
Just one foot. It's Alonzo Highsmith.
Can you answer the question? Yeah. I mean, I haven't finished a book in a long time.
Okay, good. Franchise quarterback.
Yeah, I like it. That's good.
Yes, that's why I was looking. If you had an answer ready for me, I was going to dock you points.
Yeah. You should be focusing on your playbook.
I am. Not like the sun also rises or whatever you want to read.
Yeah. You're like, last book I read is The Giver in seventh grade.
That would have counted too. I think I read Mice and Men after that.
Oh, okay, there we go. Are there different words that you're learning between Odell and Jarvis, like Louisiana slang that you'd never heard before? No, I had a couple Louisiana teammates in college.
Okay. Do you have separate group texts for different groups of players so you can be like, hey man, I'm going to get you the ball.

Hey man, I'm going to get you the ball.

Don't worry about it. I'm going to get you the ball.

No, I just slide 20s under the table.

Oh, there we go.

You should play Neck for them in the locker room after a game.

Yeah, that should be the Cleveland.

Do you guys have a team song or like a team song?

No.

Okay, it's Neck.

Yes.

No, it's the Drew Carey song.

We're not Detroit. We're not Detroit.
Cleveland Rocks. Come on down to Cleveland.
Yeah. All right.
You guys nailed this interview. I'd say Garrett more than you, Baker, because we're going to keep you motivated.
Thank you. Because you like this.
You like this. But remember, don't respond to Colin Coward.
You guys got it? I have it every single time. Anytime.
Bleep that out. He said it again.
Yeah, but anytime he goes at you, just let me handle it. PFT handle it.
I haven't done it in a while. Yeah, I know, but don't ever do it again.
I'm so mature now. I'm married.
I'm mature. I'm not responding.
Yeah. Here's what you do.
You can't respond. Just do CC, PFT, Cometor, Barstool, Big Cat.
And we'll handle it. Just tag us in.
we'll just go Nuts on it We will To use Big Cat's term

We will skull fuck it

We will

We will go

Absolutely insane on it

You can't do the things

We can do online

We will do those

Okay

Yeah

All the haters

We got your back

All the haters

Alright Baker

Garrett

Thank you

RV bus

Training camp tour

Appreciate it

Yeah

Good luck this year

11 wins guaranteed

Can't wait

And a Superbowl

Full send Full send. Thanks, guys.
That interview with Baker Mayfield was brought to you by Let Go. Let Go is the fastest growing mobile marketplace to buy and sell locally.
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Okay, let's get to some segments. Oh, we got to see Jim Kelly out there watching Swag Kelly.
Love it. Proud Papa.
Hell yeah. Not his dad.
Yeah, he looks like a dad. Yeah.
Yeah. If Swag Kelly brings them back, it will be the greatest, greatest comeback in Bills history.
I just want to say that. In a Bills game.
Yes, absolutely. I would like to say that between Andrew Luck and Swag Kelly, I need to know what those conversations are like.
I need to be a fly on the wall that made it. I don't think they speak the same language.
No, no. At all.
Definitely not. Definitely not.
You're right, though. Sw right swag you want to join my book club and then jacoby brissette's got a little bit of like southern twang to him which is so it's it's really the bro the nerd and the southern twang i figure if you ask swag kelly to join your book club he's just gonna shoot you yeah he'll just burn the book he'll literally take out a gun and be like fuck that no he'll like he'll he'll take the book out and make you eat it eat this book eat this book nerd fucking stuff it down oh god all right that's over that was fun that was fun for like two seconds i was like swag kelly's gonna bring me back and then the bills just scored okay uh peter king ate the trash so peter king uh got was doing a hit with dan patrick and got pulled over because you're not supposed to talk on your phone while you're driving.
It's very dangerous. So this has become, you know, you do it one time, then that's a mistake.
You do it twice. He tweeted out that picture of him driving to Chargers camp in the bike lane.
In the bike lane. I think it's time to start asking, should Peter King have a license? He should have his license revoked.
I agree with that. He is a menace.
He is a threat. Maybe you actually, he was probably just listening to part of my take.
We should never let him on the show. No, you know what? You're right.
Until you remedy yourself, until you go back to driving school and prove that you're not out there to cause havoc on the road, you're no longer welcome on the show. I'm sorry.
It's just we have to look out for our listeners. It you're everybody right i'm gonna i'm gonna stand behind that ban right here and uh he also got really mad at people who were tweeting at him and laughing at him he said it's it's like i murdered somebody well dude you could have next time you might you could have he said i told the cop when he was giving me the options about how i could contest the ticket that's okay sir I'm guilty as sin oh wow thank you Peter oh you think that like if you just admit to to murder you're everyone would be like okay cool yeah carry on with our lives good news for Peter he'll still let himself in the hall of fame no matter how many people he runs over this is totally off the field yeah um but seriously Peter seek help seek help we want to see you be okay also Peter, Peter King, he told the police officer, I'm guilty, like right off the bat.
Way to go. Peter, there's something called the Constitution and the Fifth Amendment, and you're doing all your listeners a disservice by not informing them that they have the right not to incriminate themselves.
He probably was like, go ahead, search my hole. Search my hole.
No, just search my hole. Search every hole I have.
Yeah, officer, I have numerous cavities. Put a glove on.
Oh glove on oh man okay we have a just chill out things i stink i stink just chill out man for adam gaze so adam gaze there was a story it was when he was i believe the uh offensive coordinator for the denver broncos and essentially his wife gave birth and uh the story goes, they pulled the baby out of me. This is his wife talking.
They pulled the baby out of me and said, it's a boy, Jennifer told Dan Pompey. They didn't even put my organs back and sew me up before he's like, you good? This was a C-section.
I said, yeah, I'm good. He said, all right, then, I'm out.
They said, you want to cut the umbilical cord? He said, no, I'm good. And he just went back to practice.
I wish that there was a picture of him and like his wife having a water delivery in a pool and him wearing the Broncos helmet, looking at his playbook like Peyton Manning was. He is.
He also, Adam Gase did some smelling salts before the preseason game. His eyes are just wild.
Yeah, that's a man that does not need smelling salts.

No.

His upper lip is a permanent smelling salt if I'm going off of his eyes.

When he just wakes up in the morning, he's got those googly eyes,

and he's ready to go.

I think he's allergic to air.

He takes a sniff of oxygen.

He's like, oh, let's go.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

That's, yeah, big time.

You good?

All right, I'm out.

All right, see you. See you.
I'll see you when you're at home yeah how's your uterus four days how's that you doing okay peace okay you think you could play if it was if it was a playoff game would you be able to play yeah deuces i'm out take it easy look with your vag uh all right so next one we have a stay classy for dabbo so this is a big i think it's a was a big debate in the college football space. Apparently, did you do a podcast the night of your birth? Yeah, I did, but it was Adam Gase.
No, no, no, no. Wait, was it? No, it was the next day.
Okay. Yeah.
That's more reasonable. Good.
The next day. I was like, wait, fuck.
We should have just had a podcast that day just to see if you were committed enough to come into it. Yes, it was born on a Wednesday.
We did a podcast on Thursday. Okay, so Dabo has been criticized because he did not give Kelly Bryant a ring.
Kelly Bryant famously played first four games. Trevor Lawrence took over, which was the right decision.
He then left school and is now the quarterback for Mizzou. So if you want to check out all the mizzou training camp stuff our guy caleb's been crushing it there but so this is a big story because dab was like no fuck that you left you don't get a ring even though you played four games for us right um did did he request a ring and they said no we're not going to give you know about that.
I do know, though, who would you think had the hottest take? I know where you're going with this, so I can't answer. But I'll play your game.
I'll play your game, Big Cat. Who had the hottest take on this one? Yeah.
I would say that if there was a guy out there that would tell Kelly Bryant to go fuck off and jump off a cliff because Dabo Swinney is a great human being it'd probably be Danny Cannell yeah but he went the other way so the opposite direction on the on the argument okay his argument was Kelly Bryant didn't make a dime at Clemson Dabo just inked 93 million dollar guaranteed new deal just give the kid a damn cubic zirconia ring and move on he did win win one out of four of their games, or one-fourth of their games. That has nothing to do with the argument.
No, but it does tell me that Danny's getting soft. Yeah, a little bit.
This is concerning to me. We need Danny to be that guy.
We've talked about this. Yeah.
We need Danny to be, he's turned into millennial. Danny Connellio.
Yes, he is. But this is like the SpongeBob verbal meme where SpongeBob has his hands going everywhere, twisted around.
This argument, like what does Kelly Bryant not getting a ring have anything to do with Dabble Sweeney making money? Yeah, I don't really get that. He left the team.
It means he's throwing us a bone saying like, hey, maybe the player should be paid. Right.
He's like throwing us a bone being like, I'll admit that. Okay, You have one of two options.
Either you get paid at school or you get a ring. If you transfer.
Yes. Yes.
And in this case, I'm coming, I'm coming down on the ring. If you transfer.
And he had every Kelly Bryant had every right to leave. That's, I mean, you see it all the time with coaches.
They go back and forth and if he's not going to play, he might as well, you know, save his eligibility and go play somewhere else. I don't know if it was an eligibility thing, but he wasn't going to stick around if he wasn't going to play and dabbo has every right to be like no dude you don't get a ring right and kelly bryant he should have to give back all the life lessons that dabbo taught him when he was at clemson true accountability and that leave that in south carolina buddy that sweet slide they have in their facilities give that back give those slides back give that fun back give the memories of you of you sliding and give it wash your hand until all the remnants of that rock that you get to touch come off make kelly make kelly bryant go back to clemson and just keep walking up the slide as many times as he went down and go up the hill yeah you walk down yes he should have to walk up that hill be driven back down by dabbo until he learned his lesson i like it uh okay last up we have jimbos Jimbo's and a very special guest for our Jimbo's.
Let's go to that. Okay, we're going to wrap up the show with Jimbo's and a very special guest.
It is our friend Brendan. He is in from Buffalo and AWL who won the charity.
I don't know if you guys remember, but we did the charity for... Blogs for Dogs.
Blogs for Dogs. Was it Social Tees?

Social Tees.

So it was Adopting Dogs, and so Brendan won the charity.

He's been here all afternoon hanging out with us.

He saw us interview Jerry O'Connell.

And now we're going to do Jimbo's with Brendan, who is Bill's Mafia.

Have you gone through a table?

I've never gone through a table, but I actually have something to tell you.

When I went to Jacksonville two years ago for the playoff game, and I saw Uncle Chaps down there, and I'm actually in a barstool video yelling, Handsome Hank is a better reader than Uncle Chaps, go Bills. So I'm really nervous now because I'm on the spot.
I'm on the spot. Yeah, it's a whole different ballgame with the bright lights on.
You didn't have to tell us that, by the way. That was a great game that you went to.
Blake Bortles tearing it up in that torrential windstorm. What was the final score? 7-3? Yeah, we got the fuel going.
We're at the 1-0. Yeah, yeah, that's right.
That's huge. That was huge.
That's what I waited 17 years for. 15-hour drive.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Whenever you hear shout, do you just start doing the let's go Buffalo? Yeah, yeah. I'm actually jealous of that part of Buffalo fan base.
Wedding season is massive. Yes.
We have to do the shout song with the wedding, and then boom, they do the Bills one right after. Yes.
I'm leaving that wedding. How many pairs of Zuba's pants do you own? I got one pair of Zuba's pants that I've worn for the past 12 years, and I got Zuba's overalls that I got a few years ago, and a very sweaty Zuba's hat.
And then what's your favorite wing place? Well, definitely Bar Bill. Okay.
No doubt about it. We guys went there a few years ago.
Yeah, B-Fun Whack. That was a good used to have the mini and you get 10 wings with that.
That's the play. Get it all.
And do you drink Mad Dog? I don't drink Mad Dog. I'm a Bud Light guy, so I'm a sponsored guy.
Okay. Alright, so let's do it.
Jimbo's with Brendan, who is in from Buffalo. Alright.
We got one here. I was high and a woman had a small black thing her purse, and I thought it was a dog.
Went over to say hi, pet dog. Turns out it was a camera.
Wicked embarrassing. Okay.
Pet the camera. Yeah, yeah.
You're just a technology guy. You're a cam girl now.
I love gadgets. Yeah, right.
There is, by the way, I don't know if you guys do this, but every time I see a dog on the train, I always take a picture of it. It's always so funny.
Like a dog on the train is always take a picture of it it's always so funny like a dog on the train is just a weird thing they're not actually supposed to be on the train either well really you have to be able to keep it in your and hold it in a bag uh-huh i should get a hammock for leroy interesting so if you see it that's that person's breaking breaking the law no you should put leroy in like a hockey equipment bag yeah just just cut out four holes in the bottom of it and just have his legs hanging out we We're just like four of us carried on together. I might have to do that.
Actually, if I could enlist your help, Leroy's getting cataract surgery in like October. Yeah, we should do that.
Yes. Take him on the train down in a bag.
Yeah. Okay.
I'm down. Okay.
I'll put Stella in my baby Bjorn thing. Yeah.
So we'll just all go to the fucking cataract surgery. I love that.
Big family.

Took the afternoon off work for a dentist appointment that required me to take extra strength anxiety medication that knocks me unconscious.

Showed up to the dentist 10 minutes before it was supposed to kick in to find out my appointment is next week.

Oh, that's tough.

But you get a bonus day.

Yes.

You can always just tell your boss like they screwed up my appointment.

They had to push me to next week. Yeah, that's actually a great day.
Like, you're on a little mini mind vacation. He's about to be unconscious.
That's fine. It's their problem.
Here's the thing. If you pass out somewhere, you are no longer required to remove yourself.
That's on somebody else at that point. Yeah.
All right. I'm going to stop you real quick, Brendan, for a second.
I just made a text because I wanted to do something for you because you were nice. What was the final charity that you guys paid? What did I get at? $5,200? That's fucking awesome.
That's awesome. That's so awesome.
So I wanted to do a little something special. I just got the text back.
We're going to call Josh Allen real quick. Really? All right.
We'll give him a little pump-up speech. Oh, my God.
That's awesome. You just talk a little loud.
I will. What up? Yo, we got Brendan here from Buffalo.
He's the biggest Bills fan. He's going to give you a little encouragement for the season.
Josh, you ready for tonight, man? You ready? We got to beat those Colts tonight. Yes, sir.
Absolutely. Oh, that's fantastic, man.
How many 80-yard touchdown, 90-yard touchdown? What are you throwing today? I don't know. We'll see.
They play a lot of little soft zones. All right.
Work them. Work them.
Wait, this is one of those situations like Babe Ruth promising the kid in the hospital. Are you going to throw a touchdown for Brendan tonight? Don't you put that evil on me, really.
Well, you know what it sounds like, Josh? Since they play a lot of soft zone, you can guarantee a five-yard completion tonight. How about that? How about that? I will guarantee it.
To the left side, right side, what should I be looking for? Yeah, what should I be looking for? Which side? Or are we just saying? Let's go left side. Left side, five or more.
Yard completion for Brendan. That is a Josh Allen guarantee.
I mean, that's a man of the people right there. Josh Allen's the quarterback for the people.
Josh, if you can't complete it, will you come to my high school that I work at, Bishop Timon? Will you come in and say hi to my boys if you can't get that five-yarder? Uh, yeah. Thanks, man.
This went from just a regular phone call to, sorry, we just signed you up for some stuff there, Josh. All right, man.
Good luck tonight. We'll talk to you later.
See you, man. Thank you.
Peace. All right.
Ooh, I like the peace there. That's a fucking rare thing.
It's a good sign-off. Yeah, it's like an early aughts thing.
Peace. Peace out.
Deuces. All right, so there you go.
You got the... I'm in.
Either way. We need to...
When he completes it, you need to text all your buddies at home to make sure they DVR the game. Okay.
So when he gets the completion, you're going to get us the clip,

and we'll put it all together for you and tweet it out from part of my take.

I love it.

The guaranteed five-yard completion in the soft zone.

Dude, if he only plays like two plays, that's going to suck.

Dude, he'll get a five-yard completion.

Okay.

I'm not worried about it.

I'm getting in my own head.

I'm getting in my own head.

If it's six, do I win?

No, yeah.

Five or more.

Five or more. Five or more.

Five or more.

All right.

Five or more.

Let's do it.

All right.

Let's get back to Jimbo's.

Okay.

What do we got here?

We got, I hooked up with a girl that's evidently into slapping the shit out of people during sex.

She beat me up, and it was a 10 to 8 round every time.

I kind of just rode with it, and I teach boxing classes, so I felt like I couldn't just ask her to stop because it was painful and awful. I'm supposed to hang out with her again and boy do I need some advice on how to not get wrecked during sex.
So this guy just basically wanted to brag that he had sex. Yeah okay we get it.
I mean I think if you were to pull a hundred guys on the street and say hey you can have sex but you're going to take five

slaps to the face i think 99 of them would say yes even trade yeah so not really a jimbo yeah not really a jimbo you just want to tell us you had sex which i understand yeah i get it yeah you're it's the first time you ever had sex i mean i just you want to brag to everyone that's what i just did with jerry yeah you wrote into us and you're like hey i finally had sex it was sick I got caught being stoned

and when my parents asked me if i was high i insisted i had in fact been crying as you might expect they didn't take the bait felt like i was in high school again i'm 22 and just graduated college and now my dad's so upset he's driving to the city to pick me up from work so he can talk with me. Okay, hold on.
First of all, let's back up. Is your dad Mike Huckabee? Yeah, your dad, 22 years

old. so upset he's driving to the city to pick me up from work so he can talk with me okay hold on back up is your dad mike huckabee yeah your dad 22 years old that's that is he is out of the you know house or i assume he's out of the house and uh maybe not actually yeah my roof my rules yeah yeah but still come on dad chill out i uh this actually though is so funny because i feel like every kid in the history of kids has thought that they got by their parents when they were higher drunk, and the parents always know.
Always know. They always know.
Always know. Always, always know.
Although, a good excuse. Hank.
Hank's dad is visiting as well. Is directly behind him.
Is directly behind him being like, yup, I always knew when Hank was smashed. Hank, if you've ever used a crying excuse, wink.
He can't see you. I replay all the times where it's like, oh yeah, my dad knew.
My mom knew. Crying is pretty good.
I also used the, I just went swimming at the pool. There's a lot of chlorine.
Heavy chlorine day today. Also, you always get hungry after you go for a little backstroke.
I watched that The Life of Dogs movie whatever that just came out marley and me yeah yeah right it's a fucking tearjerker or that youtube girl all right just moved to la still haven't ran into rosillo and the first friends me and my roommate made here were from his work and i drunkenly broke their stripper pole at their apartment the first night we all hung out. Okay.

That's actually not a Jimbo.

Because if you have a stripper pole at your apartment, I don't think there are any rules.

That's basically saying to everyone, no rules in this house. If you break something, who the fuck cares?

Agreed.

And it's much better that you broke it than a stripper came over and broke it.

Because then that's lawsuit city.

Right.

Then you're in trouble.

I would love to see, like, wonder the guys who got the stripper pole in their apartment how bad of failed actors are they yeah like they are definitely they've been in la for a few years they're basically playing swingers every night on friday nights like watching it stripper pole this is sick yes they're just playing nhl 94 yeah and ordering takeout and but the pole is still in the background by the way there's nothing more lonely and pathetic than an apartment with a stripper pole when there are never strippers over. Yes.
Oh. It's like, hypothetically, I could have a stripper right now.
Now, on the other side of it, what would be great is if you have a couple floors and you have a fireman's pole. That's a dream.
Yeah. That would be a dream.
That is pretty sweet. No stairs, fireman pole.
Also, if you have a stripper pole and you have strippers over, you can also get an ATM for your house and then charge like $4.99 in transaction fees every time your friends take money out. So you're just living in a strip club.
That's Gilbert Arenas, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In West Virginia, when we were in West Virginia, the ATM fee was, guess? $3. No, other way.
Oh, really? $9? It was $35. Are you serious? It's like how they made all their money.
Jesus Christ. It was insane.
People in West Virginia have $35? It was insane. And they ran out of money.
Yeah, and they ran out of money. They ran out of ones.
Not that we would know. Yeah.
That's why, yeah. I got one more here.
Went to Saratoga recently with my dad, whose work rented out of space in the new 1863 Club. Real nice area with your own betting kiosks.
My buddy gave me a tip, and I hit a trifecta for roughly $200 on the first race. I went to bet on the second race, and in the excitement of entering my picks, I forgot to hit return balance and walked away.
Didn't realize this until about 15 minutes after, and the kiosk has obviously been used since then. Lost about $170 and didn't win a single race the rest of the day.
But you know what? Gambling karma will eventually come back for you. Like that one you'll get.
At some point you're going to win a game that you shouldn't have won, and you can be like, yep, there it is. Paid forward.
Yeah. The gambling gods work.
They at least have a little bit of a heart sometimes.

All right, Brendan, thank you so much.

Can we get a prediction on the Bills season?

Oh, yeah.

Easily 11-5.

Oh, he's going to win the AFC East this year?

We'll be right there.

You know, that fourth game against the Patriots.

You going to come down for it, Hank?

You going to come down?

Probably.

All right.

We might be out there.

Yeah, yeah.

We definitely want to go back to Bills Mafia.

Is that the one on Christmas Eve or whatever? No. Oh, no.
That's the one in New England. Okay.
So wait. The one in Buffalo is, I think, whatever, September 30th.
That's too early. If we go to Buffalo, we've got to go in November.
But I like it for the Bills, though. There's no big expectation buildup.
You'd much rather play the Patriots if you're 1-3 than if you're like 10-5

and maybe you need this one to get into the playoffs.

And it's also very funny watching a Bills game in September

and the entire city of Buffalo doesn't know how to deal with a suntan

and they're all just stuck in the sun.

And like, what the hell is going on?

It gets real gross and sweaty under the hat.

It was just a lobster.

Yeah, like, God damn it.

All right, so Brendan, thank you again for the charity.

That was awesome, man.

Thanks for having me on, guys.

Hopefully you guys had fun.

Yeah, definitely.

And Josh Allen Pass has to happen.

It's going to happen.

Josh Allen Pass was coming to Bishop Time in high school.

Yes, there you go.

Okay, that's our show.

Stone Cold Steve Austin coming on Monday.

One of my favorite interviews we've ever done.

Do I love you guys?

Oh, hell yeah.

That was a little macho, man.

Yeah, brother.

Yeah. I'll be coming for your love.
Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry to need less to say.

I'm all set in.

It's about me.

It's done with a little weight.

Suddenly learning that life is okay.

Say out to me.

It's been better to be safe than sorry. Take care.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh unto me, it's the better to be safe than sorry. Drink on me.
Drink on me. Drink on me.
Drink on me. I will be the one that I just want to.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me on me Take on me I'll make your life Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me I'll make your life Take me on me Take me. Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.