Football Is Back (sort of), 3 Pt Champ Joe Harris, And Mt Rushmore Of Press Conference Moments

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We're going to get right back to the show.

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USAA. All right, back to part of my take okay let's go boys now in the street there is violence and an hour to solve the work be done.
No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't blame all on the sun.

Oh, no.

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It, part of my take Presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take Presented by the Cash App Go put in promo code BARSTOL You get $5 to yourself $5 to ASPCA Today is Fri-yay, August 2nd And Football is B...
It could be. It might be.
Football is back. You're absolutely right, Boom.
We wanted to play this song to get you a little juiced up. And now football's not back because we watched the Hall of Fame game.
We turned it on. We got excited.
It turned us on. We saw the uniforms.
We saw Matt Schaub. Yes, he is still in the NFL.
I saw Drew Locke just out there looking like every other quarterback that's ever played in the NFL. Kevin Hogan ready to throw a three-yard out Stanford offense.
And then five minutes in, we're like we're like this kind of sucks yeah there are a couple reasons to watch this game one gambling on it yeah fuck you which trick you Trey Wingo which I might add uh it's preseason for the gamblers too yeah so we should get our money back on this one I bet I bet the Falcons plus a half in the first half looks like that's a dud dud we both bet the over because we're fucking idiots. Loser.
I mean, what a bunch of morons we were. We bet the over and then we looked at each other and we're like, we're so dumb for betting the over.
No, it's still alive. Trey Wingo.
Yeah, Trey Wingo tweeted, you need help if you bet on this game when you have no idea who's playing on the field. Hey, Trey, just a heads up, man.
I've been doing this for a very long time. I've been gambling all my life.
I lose even if I fucking read a thousand articles about each team and I know exactly who's playing. So what is the difference of me betting and losing on a game when I don't know who's playing? Yeah, Trey, I bet on March Madness every year.
You think I know half the players on even the best teams? So frick off, bro. I bet based on the pedigree of the school and the color and in the hall of fame game i'm always always gonna bet on matt shop hey trey lock it up lock it up no you lock it up you lock it up trey lock it up trey lock it up trey lock it up do we just become best friends no because you're being lame about betting on preseason football yeah you gotta bet on preseason football.
Listen, it's the only way you can do it. You've got to live.
But, yeah, the game started. We had our first pass interference penalty, which was cool.
That was really cool. He went down under the hood.
Challenge. Challenge, yeah.
The ref got under the hood, looked at the Microsoft Surface, and it was upheld. It was thrilling.
Yeah, I can't wait for an entire year of pass interference challenge penalty reviews. Can't wait for the game to get even slower.
But no, watching just football helmets and a ball on a field. That's it.
Gets it going. It really does.
It gets it going. It's not good.
No, it's not enjoyable once it starts. But Al Michaels voice comes through the TV and you see that graphic and you see that graphic, and you see Denver versus Atlanta, and you're like, we are so fucking close.
Yeah, it doesn't really count as a full game unless it lasts long enough for the fans to get drunk while there's good football being played. Yeah.
But you know what? We still had, we'll always have that first opening drive. We got fluffed.
We got fluffed. Kevin Hogan, no offense.
Looks like bust. I'm putting the bust tag right now.

Bad attitude.

I told you about bad attitude.

More like no effect on this game.

Yep.

Got him.

Trash.

Bust.

Burn.

Put it on the board.

Yeah, so football's back.

That's pretty much all we got.

I mean, I'm excited.

Matt Schaub.

I am so excited that Matt Schaub's still in the league

because if you don't remember, if you're too young, I hope you're not too that young, but if you don't remember Matt

Schaub's pick six streak, it was one of the most thrilling moments as a sports fan that

I've ever encountered.

Yeah, it was like a Nathan Peterman half extended to like seven games.

You might be okay here, buddy.

The first and goal for the Falcons.

Okay.

This could be huge.

This could be huge.

If you miss the game.

If you miss the game.

The first win of the season is nigh.

I hope they go for two.

So, put it in the middle. the first and goal for the Falcons.
Okay, this could be huge. If you miss the game, the first win of the season is nigh.
I hope they go for two. Put in Matt Schaub.
I hope they go for two. Put in Matt Schaub.
Yeah, Dan Quinn probably. No, Dan Quinn's not going to go for two.
No, he's going to kick the field goal from here. He might kick it right now.
Yeah, he will. I might actually lose the spec by a lot.
I'm going to tweet that right now. Dan Quinn, kick the field goal from here.
Yeah, keep that streak going. Yeah, all right.
But yeah, it is good to watch the NFL being back. We've got the Hall of Fame speeches on Saturday.
I mean, you guys just got excited right there. Yeah, I did.
You guys just talked yourself out of it. And then back in.
Yeah. Hey, this is gambling season for you, Hank.
That was live in action of us being like, yeah, this game kind of sucks. Oh, shit.
We can get some Dan Quinn jokes off and we can see a first and goal. We're back.
We did really bury the lead of this entire game, which was the Broncos' new head coach, Vic Fangio, coached this game dealing with a kidney stone that he was hospitalized for that he didn't pass. So he's walking out there with a big calcified chunk of rock swinging in his urethra, and he's still out there calling plays.
He's fine. Listen, as someone who's peed blood in the last couple weeks,

I don't think that's a big deal.

Yeah, I mean, it's been burning when Cliff Kingsbury pees for the last 10 years. There you go, PFT.

Touchdown, Falcons.

Touchdown, Falcons.

There we go.

It's 7-6.

You need this extra point.

Now, I'm not rooting against your bet,

but for content reasons, it would be funny if this actually went next.

No, he locked it up. He's going to make it.
Not even worried about it. I'm just telling you right now.
It would be very funny if this extra point missed. Who's playing quarterback right now for the Falcons? I don't know, but he's got triceps tattoos.
Yeah, that's not a good sign. So I'm kind of in on that.
Yeah. So, all right.
We'll do the extra point. Colin Coward is it.
We'll move on. He's looking good.
He gives a little. Who is it?

I don't care.

Who?

Kurt Binkert with the first.

Where?

Falcon.

Virginia.

Oh, flag.

Yep.

Got it.

There's a flag.

Doesn't matter.

Damn.

Wave it off.

Decline the penalty.

That's the first win of the season for your boy, PFT.

Undefeated on the year.

There you go.

And then I'm going to get the over in the second half.

For sure going to happen.

Definitely three more touchdowns in this game that we're going to watch the whole game of. I would also like to tease this a little bit.
Oh, on the defense. On the defense.
There we go. You nailed it.
I'm Gucci. I'm Gucci unless they return this kickoff for a touchdown.
That would also be very funny. Yeah.
I'm also going to tease this because so we'd like to talk, you know, you guys like to have some fun, make your jokes about Leroy saying he deletes tweets, things like that. Well, that's not a joke.
It's a fact. Well, he hasn't deleted a tweet in probably like six months, seven months.
I don't know about that. So he stands by all his reporting.
He's a reformed tweeter. He is very reformed.
Thank you, Hank. He reported earlier this offseason that LaShawn McCoy is going to be dunzo from the Bills.
Adam Schefter said, no, you're a bad dog, Leroy. This one is incorrect.
He's staying with the Bills. I've been hearing many, many rumblings.
Wait, you or Leroy? Yeah, hold on. You didn't let me finish my sentence.
What credibility do you have? You didn't let me finish my sentence. Okay.
I've been hearing many rumblings from Leroy. Got it.
That LaShawn McCoy's release is imminent. Oh, wow.
So just pointing that out. By the time this podcast.
Make sure you delete this part of the podcast. Yeah, scouts honor, please piss on it.
Lift your leg on it and pee on the tape and make sure no one hears it again. Just saying, could be done within the next two weeks.
Big time news. I'm just saying.
Big time news. All right, so football's back.
We talk a little baseball before we get to Fyre Fest. The Houston Astros.
Sheesh. Sheesh.
Zach Greinke. That is.
I love when a team's just like, you know what? Fuck it. We're just going to have all the good pitchers.
Hot stove. So that happened.
Also, the Yankees. I love that the Yankees just are saying, fuck it, we're going to try to win softball games for the fourth year in a row.
And didn't do anything, didn't get a pitcher. And while the Mets, somehow the Mets are going in now.
They've won like six in a row. You said it perfectly with the Mets though.
They don't know what they're doing. Right, but now they also have a great pitching staff.
I feel like they're winning though in spite of their management. Well, even a blind pig finds an acorn every now and again, as the old saying goes.
Yeah, that's exactly the old saying. Oh, that's a pass interference.
We might have a field goal attempt. That is the saying.
Yeah, I know we might have a field goal. Yeah.
The way that you said exactly. Uh, yeah, it's a saying.
So, uh, yeah, the baseball hot stove, as you just said, uh, also known as the trade yeah hot stove league now they call it the hot stove because that was the old water cooler right uh no it was the hot stove was yeah it was in the winter they would all get together and stand around imagine playing his guitar imagine being the guy at the hot stove tomorrow morning that didn't know it was called a hot correct correct but but uh you got any other baseball thoughts that's all my baseball thoughts for you right there it's just hot stove i will say it's just hot so no okay you want to know my real baseball yeah give them to me uh i thought that the inner ohio trade was hilarious oh and trevor bauer showed up to the indians and trevor bauer showed back up to the game after he'd been traded away from his teammates to watch like chris humphries showing up to like a watch party for keeping up with the kardashians it was uh it was kind of awkward to see but it also told me that he just doesn't have friends and if he does not have friends and and uh the that trade now goes down in history is the two guys who got traded most iconic last moment with their respective teams trevor bauer launching the ball over center field and Yasiel Puig getting in a brawl. Agreed.
That's beautiful. Agreed.
And, I mean, Yasiel Puig, I mean, this makes the Indians, you know, pretty good. I think it's probably a better trade for them.
No, their lineup is lethal. And then them versus the Astros would be like the perfect playoff matchup.
Yeah, except no Marlins man, though. That's true.
That we'd be missing out on that. Well, just for Cleveland home games.
But it's tough in Houston because their color is kind of like the Marlins orange. It's a nightmare.
Actually, a nightmare scenario for Marlins man. You can get confused with other fans and we won't be able to see him.
Also, a lot of dogs in Houston don't drive with his cats. The Cubs did the classic thing where they just got a guy I actually like it but they got a guy just to let everyone else know hey we're not totally giving up on this thing oh you have to if your fan base is sitting around waiting for that news to drop you have to throw them a little crumb we're working the phones and they basically said the bottom of their lineup is absolute trash so anyone would do do better, which Castellanos will do better.
Any other hot stove? The Red Sox did nothing. Yeah, and Dombrowski was kind of like a douchebag.
He's like, there is no press conference. There's no press to announce.
There's no news to announce. When everyone was waiting, like, oh, what do you got? What do you got? Wait, did he do a press conference to announce there's no press conference? He did, like Mike Piazza.
No, I think someone asked him. I've got to find the quote.
I might be butchering this. But I think someone asked him for, like, what the update was.
And he was like, there is no update. We made no moves.
It was kind of underwhelming overall because it was just weird moves. It was the Mets getting Stroman.
The Astros having the best, you know, one, two, three there with Cole, Verlander, and Granke. And then the Dodgersgers Yankees doing nothing.
Cubs kind of doing a little bit. And then it's just OK.
And then the inner Ohio trade. It was all very weird.
I do like that spin zone, though. It's like we like the guys we have in house and we trust them to turn around.
Has that ever worked? Well, no, the thought process that I always take with with like the adding a like Castellanos is not a star. He's a guy.
He's a professional hitter, as they say. So it's like, let's add a guy.
That means that he sucks. Well, no, it means that he's better than like six, seven, eight that have been have been batting.
So let's add a guy to tell everyone else in the clubhouse that we're not giving up on you, because if you don't do anything, then the GM is basically saying you guys are kind of sucky, and I don't want to give up future assets for anyone this year. You got in this mess, now get out of it.
I was talking mostly about the Red Sox. That's kind of what they're doing right now.
Yeah, they're basically saying, yeah, you guys are too far back right now for us to help you with something on the trade deadline. But the way that you spin it to the outside is like the old Les Miles, Like, we've got a damn strong football team.
We've just got to come together here. Players only meeting.
Okay, before we get to our Fire Fest of the week, just a reminder, barstoolgold.com slash PMT. You want to watch Joe Harris, the interview.
You want to watch the full show. You want to watch our bonus episode that's coming up next week.
Who do we have on that? Are we going to do Don Brown? I think so else yeah there you go so uh go check it out barstoolgold.com slash pmt sign up right now hank start us off fire fest of the week fire fest of the week is kind of a uh continuation of mine from a few weeks ago but i moved yesterday yep today i had move one well well as well as it could go. It was a regular move.
There's always an issue. Yeah, I got lost a few times.
The mattress didn't fit in the U-Haul. It was a shit show.
But I was ready for that. I told you before.
When I was saying goodbye to Hank before his move on Tuesday, I was like, hey, man, just so you know, there will be one big fight or one big fuck up, and there's nothing you can do to get away from it just embrace it because everybody's always upset when they're moving you can't be in a good mood and go through like a three-day move and plus you're like packing all your shit up there's gonna be little minor fights you get into with yourself a lot of speed bumps along the way great feeling just getting rid of like 70% of my oh yeah like I was packing and I was like you know what like I you know what? Like I don't need any of this. Yeah.
Moving is like flying. You just have to put on your most comfortable pair of basketball shorts, a shitty t-shirt and say the next 24 hours are going to suck beyond belief.
And one of the nice silver linings in moving though, you get into your new place and you don't have, oh, I can't unpack all my kitchen stuff. You just have to eat pizza for like the next week.
Right. So the 24 hours I was prepared for, got through it.
And then today I had my cable scheduled from 9 to 12 to show up and i was like all right finally like i'll be set up didn't come classic call me like 10 45 the guy was like i'm looking for parking like there's nowhere to park showed up at like 11 55 and we had a meeting at one o'clock and i was like how long is it going to take he was like two to three hours and i was like well fuck like I have to reschedule so I have no internet or cable for like a week how did you schedule that when it happened did you move overnight did you like because I know that you're running some issues earlier with like you had to move out by a certain day and then you couldn't move in until a certain day no I got that figured out like I was able to move in the day before I was gonna suggest doing the old Baltimore Colts Mayflower truck yeah just live in a damn square out of there all square out of there. All right.
So you're in. Good job.
But I'm in. No cable.
No cable. No internet.
So that's my fire fest of the week. Yeah.
And the worst part is it was 9 to 12. So I was just kind of like sitting in my bed doing nothing.
And then at 12 o'clock I was like, fuck, I probably should have like moved some of my stuff in because I just wasted three hours doing nothing. That's going to hit you like a ton of bricks on like Sunday night.
Yeah. And you're like okay so but good job nothing good job yeah read a book good job moving outside of football season yes that would have been tough that would have been real tough also like what are you gonna jerk off to no tv no internet your imagination true old spank bank uh pfc what do you got my fire fest of the week is the fact that we've all been dead for uh seven Oh, yeah? Did you guys hear about this? No.
So this was a thread that went viral earlier. I'm all bought in on it.
Back in 2012, the Large Hadron Collider was invented, which is that big circle thing out in Europe that smashes atoms into each other. And Stephen Hawking said that it was going to destroy the whole planet.
Well, it turns out that a lot of people think that it did

and that currently we're living in a computer simulation.

We're like God is doing like a Madden Sim season

and we're going into number eight right now.

So we can't be held accountable for anything that happens.

No, we can't be accountable for a single thing that happens.

So we're all on free play right now.

We're all computers being controlled by some artificial intelligence in the future.

That's why, you remember we talked about

the Berenstain Bears theory?

Yeah.

About how a lot of people think that

Berenstain Bears is spelled S-T-E-I-N at the end,

but it's actually now spelled S-T-A-I-N.

Right.

That all changed in 2012.

There are these little tiny glitches

that the computer didn't get right.

For example, Skechers Shoes.

I always thought Skechers Shoes was S-K-E-T-C-H-E-R-S. Turns out it's not.
There's no T in there. Oh.
It's low T now. It's a low T shoe.
That changed in 2012, too. Nobody remembers it changing.
When did Avril Lavigne die? When was that? 2012. Was it? That theory? Probably.
That theory that she's dead and looks like an imposter for the last seven years. I think that's just a fact.
That's just a confirmed fact. It would also explain the Giants were Super Bowl champions in 2012 when this happened.
That would make sense. That's why Eli Manning is just timeless and he'll never lose his job because he's just a robot that's being programmed.
And his durability is on 99. God's controlling us? Or Archie Manning.
Okay. I was going to say is a terrible gambler go off take off.
Yep, that's true. Also Before 2012 everybody only knew Kevin Spacey as a great actor now.
He's a pedophile Mm-hmm a lot of things change things change. I didn't even exist PFT commenter didn't exist before 2012 So God is running my account and my voice So so if you've got a problem with PFT, you've got a problem with God.
Take it up with Jesus. That thread, by the way, I'm usually all in on that stuff.
Avril Lavigne? Conspiracy theories. The top of the thread was like, we've been living in a simulation.
Here's why. And I was like, let's go.
And by the end of it, I was like, I'm out. This is way too confusing.
There's another theory I'm not going to get into right now that i read up on last weekend that basically says that if you are not currently there's a theory out there of where we are as a as a human species in relation to advanced artificial intelligence where if you understand the theory then you will go insane and die hey i'm not stop reading i'm well i i don't think any of us are smart enough no hank could read it if hank got high enough he might be able to understand it stop reading hank that's an order don't read that book um all right my fire fest of the week is i have a new addiction i'm addicted to madden codes and giving them out and playing god i'm like the simulator god uh it started as a joke on wednesday i gave out some fake madden codes then on thursday i said uh i'm gonna i have a bunch of madden codes to give out who wants one also fake i had a thousand replies in three minutes realized at that point that i was kind of a little too in in too deep because my mentions are are just people being like my little brother's birthday is coming up can i get a madden code or like i can't pay the rent can i get a madden code it's a mess so uh madden actually gave me some codes now i have real codes and fake codes so no one knows what's going on i've been giving out real codes but also still giving out fake codes and i like to hold it over people because people are just begging why else would you have them bend your knee and maybe i'll give you a code and maybe it will be real and maybe it will be fake i like how you're the opposite of the boy who cried wolf the first two times you did it yes it was it was a total lie oh wait wait no it is the you are the boy well now except that parable doesn't mean shit because everybody kept believing you right and the problem is that i've come into now is that i've gotten a bunch of real codes but i haven't kept track of which ones i've given out so the end of this joke will be me earnestly giving a real code to someone we think that's fake okay yeah they'll put it put it in and be like wait this doesn't work gotcha even though but listen you guys gotta try it giving someone a fake code and then having them be like thank you it takes about 20 minutes for them to get to their you know uh xbox or ps4 workstation put it in i'm already gone it's a perfect crime i'm long gone i'm dust in the wind but but that thank you i still have it that's true well as somebody who's playing god you should know the only code for eternal life is john 316 okay so that's actually not one of the codes write that down. I'm giving that code out.
So I'm going to actually give out a real code. I'm going to give out a real Xbox code.
Liam's going to give out a PS4 code. I'm going to give out the first 16 digits of the Xbox code.
I'll give out the other eight later on in the show. When is Liam giving his? Maybe at the end? Maybe at the end of the show? I think Liam has a bet to settle with us.
He's going to give out a

punishment. Liam's going to give out a PS4 code.

Okay, so here's a real,

a very real Xbox code.

The first, this is the first

12 numbers, letters.

X, H, oh, it's actually more

than that. Fuck, these are long.

Alright, here we go. X.
Wait, wait, wait.

When you're giving out these letters, use words from the alphabet. Describe each one.
Okay, right here we go x wait wait wait when you're giving out these letters use use uh words from the alphabet okay describe each one okay so here we go this is the first uh uh 15 digits from the code and i'll give out the other 10 later x is in xylophone h is in hank R as in Redskins. X as in Xylophone.

W as in Win.

T as in Low T.

3, 2, 1. in redskins x is in xylophone w is in win t as in low t three two r is in was it redskins h is in hank h is in hank seven two nine d is in dan that's there we go so i'll give out the other 10 on the other side yeah so yeah I'm addicted guys it's actually a problem and I already know that essentially for the rest of the year I'm going to have people just asking me for codes oh it's never going away and then next year when it comes back they're going to be like oh did you get codes again so I'm just a code guy I'm personally going to ask you for codes as late as November this is what I am I'm just the code guy you did a good job with the letters by the way thank you i used to work in a call center and i people would always say like the name of our appliance to me and they all started with a p and hearing people try so hard not to say penis when they're like yeah he is in pierre yes was always a real thrill for me yeah like if you have if you have a potty mouth the The first word that comes up in your head is always a bad one.
Yep. Yeah.
All right. So let's do our Mount Rushmore.
Want to do the Mount Rushmore? Mount Rushmore of press conference moments. This is going to be good.
There's a lot of good ones. We'll put in some good ones too.
We'll put them into the show so you can hear them Refresh your memory Who the fuck is going first?

We're limiting this to just sports

Because there are some others from the political world we could go with

Like Bud Dwyer would be a great one

Or Bill Clinton

I did not have sexual relations with that woman

So there has to be sports involved

Yes, I'm going first?

Okay

That's a lot of pressure on me

Alright, fine I'll go first, I'll just do Allen Iverson practice. Practice? I actually just did the other one that I have on the list.
That was a good one. That was – you'll hear that one later.
Practice. All right, so who's up now? Not talking about a game.
Practice. Are you up? I think I'm up, right? Well, put it in.
Put it in. I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're in here talking about practice.

I mean, listen, we're talking about practice.

Not a game.

Not a game.

Not a game.

We're talking about practice.

Okay, I'm up.

I'm going to go with I'm a man.

I'm 40.

Good one.

Mike Gundy flipping his shit.

This is pre-mullet Mike Gundy, too.

I actually think that this is the incident that spurned Mike Gundy to grow a mullet. That's why I don't read the newspaper.
Because it's garbage. And the editor that let it come out is garbage.
Where are we at in society today? Come after me. I'm a man.
I'm 40. I'm not a kid.
Write something about me. I know what Hank's about to do.
I have to. That's fine.
Because you know what? I have a backup plan. I have a backup plan.
I'm not doing anything you like me. That's fine.
I have a backup plan. I have a backup plan.
Jim Calhoun took a Mecca Oak floor. Karan Butler.
I fucked up. I fucked up.
I didn't take Ryan Gomez. Does that make you happy? I didn't take you fucked up.
Jesus Christ almighty. It's been written about.
It's been talked about. Don't shake your fucking head.
If you ask a question, I'm telling you how I feel about it. I took a Mecca Ogle 4 and Karan Butler.
They're not bad. I can't take every player.
We have 13 scholarships. When I saw him, he was 6'5", 265, 70 pounds.
When he graduated, we took Quran. He then waited to get his SAT score in the spring.
It took Wayne Simone 18 months to convince, and I believe that's, is that a quote, I believe, by Tim Welch to convince him to take the kid. Same thing Tim Welch saw, except we happened to get Emeka, and they didn't.
And we happened to get Koran, and they didn't. But I'm tired of talking about it.
Ryan, I've just said he's one of the best players in our league and starting to look like one of the best players in the country. I don't know what else I can say.

And if you want me to say I fucked up, I fucked up.

Write it.

I didn't even write that on the list.

They're not bad.

I assumed you were going to take it.

Ryan Gomes was 265 pounds coming out of high school.

Which fucked up.

Which is the funniest part.

You want me to take everyone?

I took Emeka Okafor and Karan Butler,

and then he does those thick Boston.

They're not bad. It's just crazy that it's funny because Ryan Gomes wasn't that great.
I mean, all things considered, Emeka Okafor and Karan Butler, he actually made the right decision. I got a backup.
And then I will go with we're on to Cincinnati, Bill Belichick. Okay.
Go on. What do you think having a 37 here,-year run to Cincinnati? And you know what?

I was thinking about that.

Is that the goat Belichick moment?

Or I think it was the same season when he just did Seattle.

Seattle.

Seattle.

That was a good run that he had.

A lot of time spent saying nothing that season.

My second pick is going to be the Bears are who we thought they were.

That's good.

And we let them off the hook.

That's good.

Crown their asses.

The Bears are who we thought they were.

And that's why we took the damn field.

Now, if you're... are who we thought they were.
That's good. And we let them off the hook.
That's good. Crown their asses.
The Bears are who we thought they were.

That's why we took the damn field.

Now, if you want to crown them,

then crown their ass.

But they are who we thought they were.

And we let them off the hook.

That's good. Denny Green, RIP.

Yep.

A real one.

RIP, Denny Green.

All right.

I will go with Herm Edwards.

Play to win the game. You play to win the game.
Hello. Hello.
You play to win the game. We got to put these in because we're doing a terrible job repeating these.
The one that I like that pick because Herm Edwards has basically lived the last like 25 years just repeating

sayings from that press conference.

You play to win the game.

All right.

My next one.

So this is what I kind of alluded to with my first when I screwed up the practice tone.

Jim Mora.

Playoffs.

Playoffs.

You kidding me?

You kidding me?

Playoffs.

Playoffs. Don't talk about playoffs.
You kidding me? It's like the mouse voice. Yeah.
Timothy. RIP.
RIP Tim. Scouty got him.
Scouty got that ass. All right.
My next one, I'm going to go with... I'm going to go with Lou Gehrig.
Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth when he was retiring. Okay.
Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. It's a classy statement from a class act.
Okay. That's a good one.
Yeah. Thanks, Hank.
My last two, I will go with Marshawn Lynch. I'm just here so I don't get fined.

Great one.

Hey, I'm just here so I don't get fined.

And John Calipari, John Chaney.

Yes.

Shut up.

Shut up.

I'm a friend.

I'll kill you.

You remember that.

When I see you, I'm going to kick your ass.

I'm going to kill you.

I'm going to kill you.

When I find you, I'm going to kick your ass. Need more of that in sports.
Yes, absolutely. Great one.
Great one. All right, my last one, I'm going to go with Jim Tomsula farting.
One of examples of football is we have good quarterbacks losing their confidence. Okay, that's a good one.
Do we know if it was a fart? It was definitely a fart. It was definitely a fart.
He lifted up the cheek. That is a fart move.
He's a fart guy. Like, if you think of fart guys, Jim Tomsula comes up in the dictionary.
And he doesn't give a shit that he farted in the press conference. People asked him about it afterwards, and he was like, so what? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm a guy. We talk about it all the time.
Like, football guys. There's video game guys.
There's porn guys. Jim Tomsula, fart guy.
All the above. Yeah.
All right. My backup, which actually some, we can embrace debate.
Some may say is the more iconic because I love the I fucked up, but maybe the more iconic Jim Calhoun, not a dime back. Considering that you're the highest paid state employee and there's a $2 billion budget debt.
Yeah. Not a dime back.
Not a dime back. Not a dime back.
I'd like to retire someday. Not a dime back.
When they started accusing him of having too big of a salary and you got to watch it because it has many classic jim calhoun moments but the reporter is like you make 1.6 million dollars and he goes i make a hell of a lot more than that and then he uh and then he ended it with my best advice to you shut up he said that to a reporter so not a dime back that's not a dime

back Jim Calhoun a lot of honorable mentions I got yeah so uh an honorable mention that happened

well before we were born is uh Cubs manager Lee uh Ilya who had the classic like bashing of all

the Wrigley uh the bleacher bums and I'll read a couple quotes for you from that it's an all-time

one but uh he called he called the fans the Cubs fans he said the motherfuckers don't even work

That's what they're out at the fucking game. They ought to go out and get a fucking job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a fucking living.
85% of the world is working. The other 15% come out here.
A fucking playground for the cocksuckers. That's good.
And he just went off. That's really good's really good yeah shout out robber chicago legend who's one of all-time uh poop poop pants guy uh he recorded so he happened to record it's 1983 so there wasn't like video and everything he happened to record it there's only three people standing in there and he ran it and it was like an all-time just bashing the fans um what else we got that's pretty strong.
I would just say the entire press conference where Bobby Petrino showed up in the neck brace with the road rash all over his face after driving off the road with his mistress at Arkansas. That was just – just seeing a guy give an actual press conference looking like that was incredible.
How about Jim Mora? Also, Jim Mora, we couldn't do diddly-poo. Yep.
On offense, we couldn't do diddly-poop. That's a good one.
How about the time that Big Ben just wore a fedora? That one too. For that one day.
He looked like a booger. He looked like a...
Oh, that was Slickback Big Ben. That's when he looks like a booger.
Yeah, when he was wearing the fedora, that's when he looked like... The Dalmatian.
Yeah, the lawyer for Cruella DeVille. Yes.
Larry Bird ain't walking through that door. That's good, Rick Pitino.
We coming. Dicka, who you crapping? When he's calling out some hypocrisy, who you crapping? Also, Dicka for the Saints.
Mike Singletary. Mike Singletary.
I want winners. Can't win with them.
Can't do it. Can't have them.
Can't do it. All the people that want to win.
And that's right after he wiped his ass in the locker room. Yes, yes.
For Vernon Davis. What about, obviously, T.O.
doing sit-ups in his driveway while answering questions? That was iconic. I've also got— Was that the same time he cried? No, that was different.
Oh, T.O. crying.
He cried. That's my quarterback.
That was when he was in Dallas. Yep.
I would put—I consider putting this one on the list, but not really sports. George Bush on the golf course talking about invading Afghanistan when he said, now watch this drive.
That's a good one. Dwight Howard, Stan Van Gundy.
When Stan Van Gundy's like, yeah, Dwight wants me traded. And then he walked right up all chummy.
And I was like, who said that? They're like, Stan just said that a second ago. That's an all-time awkward press conference.
What else? Anything else? I mean, those are... I mean, Mike Tomlin has a bunch of them, but I don't know which one of the nonsense Riley Curry good call yeah well she was a one-and-done kind of flash of the pan LeBron when he stood up and walked out in his Angus Young in the shorts shorts oh I mean LeBron with the fucking sling like when he pretty much broken yeah pretty much yeah I mean, you could say LeBron, take my talents to South Beach.
Iconic press moment. That's true, when he made all those kids from Ohio cry.
Are we going to get dragged online for bringing up all these bad LeBron things? No. All you got to do is remind everyone that Taco Tuesday, is it racist? We're wondering.
That's just what you got to say just to protect yourself from the LeBron stance. Just reverse it.
It's basically playing Uno, and we just reversed it on there. Gotcha.
Yeah. The problem is, though, that's been co-opted by some really dumb people.
Like, we're joking about LeBron. Is he racist? Yes.
But then it's been co-opted by actual idiots online. Yeah, you're right.
Who might have blue check marks and shows in Tennessee. Kids have lights.
Yeah, kids have lice, allegedly. Yeah, so he ruined the fun.
He should probably get LeBron to stand next to him next time before he has a family reunion. Just throw all that chalk up in the air.
Hopefully someone drown out those lice. There's nothing worse than having fun with something that we all know is not true, but it's like, hey, this is a fun thing to throw out there and then have someone actually say it dead serious and just ruin it forever.
Well, some people besides that person are actually saying that about. OK, they're saying, well, what they're saying is like Tucker Tuesday is great.
Maybe just don't do the accent. Yeah, that part is.
Yeah, I was showing that was in quotations. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, that's fair use.
We're providing commentary on the I. Yeah he did.
Yeah, quote, IIIII. 3X9VWCVF2Z.
There we go. Okay.
Hopefully they figured out who's going to get it. All right, should we go to? This is a great Mount Rushmore.
This is all positive, good vibes in the room, good energy from all three of us. Yeah, it was.
I mean, the Lou garrick thing kind of bummed me out but yeah everything else was good i was iconic i didn't say it was a bad pick listen sometimes you gotta tug the heartstrings a little bit bummed me out a little um all right let's get to our interview with joe harris how great would it be if a coach just like won a super bowl and then died with a smile on his face after the game at the podium. Dick Vermeule definitely would have been the guy to do that.

I guarantee you Mike Vrabel would absolutely take that.

We should just put in Dick Vermeule crying.

Yeah.

The one time.

No, the other time.

The other other time.

Yeah, yeah, the other other time. Oh, that time?

Yeah, the other other time.

Okay, let's get to our interview with Joe Harris.

Very good time with him.

I think we're actually best friends with him now.

We're in his crew.

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USA! All right, back to part of my take. Okay.

We now welcome on a very special guest.

It is Joe Harris, three-point champion, Brooklyn Net, your Brooklyn Nets.

Let's actually start there.

Are the Nets, do the Nets own New York?

I wouldn't go that far.

Make a headline.

Let's go, Joe.

No, no headlines to start. We might work our way into it.
Do you guys own Brooklyn? We definitely own Brooklyn. Okay.
Hopefully. I don't want to impose on the old Brooklyn Dodgers fans.
Or Brooklyn College or something. L.I.U.
Well, now you've got the Islanders, too. Islanders.
Yeah, we share the Barclays with the Islanders. You half own Brooklyn.
Yeah. Really get out on a limb there.
Okay, yeah, we can say that. We halfoklyn so so you guys did make a big splash this offseason a couple weeks ago how big of uh part of the recruitment were you joe harris oh joe harris is all about the recruitment yes yeah no i didn't take any part in the recruitment i let i let the other guys kind of handled the bulk of that stuff but you know kairi i do know kairi so did you text him at all uh you talk you know know, over the course of the year.
Yeah, yeah. There you go.
Yeah, yeah. So there it is.
Yeah, small part. You recruited.
Hell yeah, you recruited. You were supportive of the Nets' efforts to land Kyrie and DeAndre.
Excuse me, DeAndre, Kyrie, and Kevin Durant. Correct.
We're saying DeAndre's name first now. Yes.
We're getting that buzz out. Yes.
When that all happened, though, I mean, did you know before all the news broke? Or did you find out like we did? The stuff with KD was pretty last minute, to be honest. But Kyrie, we kind of all had an idea that he was going to be coming to Brooklyn.
Yeah. And, I mean, you must be very, very excited to have him.
I mean, you guys were good last year. Yeah.
You know, he went to the playoffs, played really hard. And credit to you, because I feel like part of the reason why those guys were all in on Brooklyn was how good you played last year.
It's kind of like the Clippers and Kawhi. A scrappy young team with some pieces in place.
Yeah, you look at sort of the foundation of the organization. We have a lot of good young core pieces.
Karis is arguably up-and-coming maybe all-star at some point Young Really good developing player Spencer Like Jared Allen I mean you can kind of Go down the list There's a lot of Really quality players That I think Attracted those guys To want to come and play with Okay so yeah You did recruit I think that I'm just going to say Through your play Through the play Through the play Through the Nets play And also your Past relationship with Kyrie Who you kept in in touch with this year. Yes.
We're connecting some dots right here. We're giving the blogs some headlines right now.
We're helping you. But you have had kind of an amazing last few years in that it's very rare for a second-round guy to then have – you started 76 games last year.
You signed this big new deal. Have you had a moment where you're like, holy shit, I actually made it?

Because a lot of the second-round guys, they'll play like a half a season being in Europe.

No, it's so true.

I mean, I look back at my draft class, and I don't know exactly how many guys are still around.

But from 60 guys that are drafted, I would guess it's probably like in the 20s.

And this is sort of the turnover of the NBA, especially as a second-round pick. And in my case too i mean i thought i was going to be out of the league right in my time in cleveland you know i had i was traded and had surgery released and then i was basically one foot out of the nba got a chance with brooklyn yeah so so tell me exactly how what was the break i'm always fascinated with a guy like joe harris first name a million other guys who get drafted in the second round who have maybe the same talent but don't get that break they get in the wrong team whatever it may be so what was the the break or the defining point that kind of kept you around because a lot of guys they get hurt and then they're gone yeah no i mean 100 yeah i, 100%.
I think with me, I was lucky where Brooklyn was in this weird sort of situation where they didn't have any draft picks. So they had to figure out creative ways to sort of stockpile young talent.
And at that time, I was still 23 years old, like relatively young. I hadn't really solidified anything in the NBA, but I did have whatever specific niche in terms of shooting uh kenny atkinson had come from atlanta wanted to kind of plug in guys that he thought would uh sort of be similar to what they had with the good teams in atlanta and my comparison was uh corver right so it was like he kind of saw a little bit of of me within kyle and just sort of played that kind of card.
And that was, that was my break right there.

Yeah.

I mean,

that's fascinating to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So at what point,

whether it was on the calves,

maybe you had this moment or maybe it wasn't a little bit later,

but at what point did you realize like I can fit in,

I can actually play in this league.

I can compete with these guys.

You know,

I think early on,

I did have some opportunities in Cleveland,

but it's one of those things where the adjustment, you know, for some guys, it takes a little bit longer than others. And for me, I was kind of just thrown into the fire right away.
I didn't really have an opportunity to sort of learn through any of the mistakes. You know, I get drafted by Cleveland.
It's a young team. Pre-LeBron coming back.
Yeah, it looks like, you know, it's a brand new coach. It's a young a young developing team and then overnight it just changes into a championship contender when lebron comes back a lot of trades are made and so it's basically i'm in the situation where you know if i'm not helping them play at a championship level then i'm not going to play right um and the opposite was what happened in brooklyn when i you know i got a chance got opportunity but i also was able to learn through my mistakes right you know we a young developing team, and they wanted guys to kind of take their wounds right away and develop in that direction.
So that's fascinating to me because I feel like you can talk to a bunch of people who are like, yeah, I was there. I got drafted, and just things didn't break my way.
Essentially, the Nets' previous regime being terrible with draft capital made Joe Harris Joe Harris. And they missed out on some restricted free agents.
And then you're set. They needed guys.
There was a break. Yeah, exactly.
That's it. When the Cavs got LeBron, did you ever get in one of his dinner pictures? Did you make it to La Familia? I didn't make it to La Familia.
Yeah, I didn't think so. I mean, Kevin Love didn't even make it to La Familia.
That's a tough, it's tough to crack into that. Did you, was there ever a moment where you opened up Instagram and saw literally all your teammates except you out to dinner in La Familia? Yeah.
And then Dele and I kind of, you know, formed our own little La Familia. The mic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sucks.
That sucks. So you were buddies with Dele on that team, huh? Yeah, Dele's one of my best friends.
Is he really? Yeah. To this day? Would he say the same? He would say the same.
Oh, I hope so. I mean, I was in a wedding.
I got to check. Got to check.
Yeah, so you and him, you guys were thick as thieves. When you were getting into the league, did he take you under his wing? He's like, hey, he's what you have to do.
You need to kind of fly into the radar. Mike Fransman, LeBron, Mike Peace.
Or did he give you any advice coming into the league? Yeah. I mean, honestly, I have Dele to thank for sort of why I was able to stick in the NBA.
Dele is one of the most professional guys I've ever been around in terms of taking care of his body, punctuality, being early, just overall professionalism. He's the type of guy that sort of embodies what it means

for like under the radar you know chip on your shoulder guy to make it in the NBA so I learned

a lot just you know being around him and seeing how he conducted himself with the Cavs did he

teach you how to hit people in the nuts secretively yeah he's good at kill snakes hey he's just playing

hard man yeah yeah right that's all it is okay you are best friends with him because only his

best friend would say that um can we talk about the series against the Sixers? Yeah, we can talk about that. Okay.
Can we talk about the Embiid Dudley dust-up? Yeah, we can definitely talk about that. Can we talk about how you...
I've never seen a person walk slower to a scrum than Joe Harris. You even picked up the ball.
I mean, I was just kind of seeing everything that was happening. To dribble a little.
You were so scared you got behind J.J. Redick as your human shield.
I got behind some fans, I think. When you were coming in here and we were doing research, I was like, I wonder where he was.
I bet you he didn't really get in this. And your performance even shocked my expectations of you not getting in that scrum.
You were so far away from the action. I mean, I wasn't that far.
Oh, Mike. Do you want to watch it? Yeah, we'll watch it.
We'll pull up the clip. You were very far.
You're that smart. You don't want to hurt your team.
Yeah. Slowly.
If you go out there and you knock Joel Embiid out with a clean right. I mean, I had the ball in my hand.
I thought about throwing it. It's a business decision.
I get it. But was there ever a point where you're like, maybe I need to just show, put a little good tape out there that I have my team's back? Yeah.
Yeah. I probably should have looking back on it.
I haven't even seen the footage of it yet. Oh, my God.
There's an underneath. Let's break it down.
I've got it right here. There's an underneath the, or like behind the hoop.
I'm waiting for the video ad to end. Behind the hoop shot that is

so, so bad. Hold on.
Let's see it.

Here we go.

Alright. I kind of waited for it to develop

a little bit. I wasn't sure what was going on.

Alright, here we go. Ready? Watch this.

Watch. Okay, wait, wait.
Let me back up so I can

because you don't even know that Joe's on the court.

That's how slow he goes to the thing.

Okay. So here it is.

He's all the way over here. He's in the background.
And he's like,'s like hey hands up the arms up was a good move he picks up the ball everyone is there now and look at him he's barely in the screen he's pushing JJ in the back and like hey you go handle it you go handle it it looked like you were going to the stands to like help the fan that got his beer you saw a fan get their popcorn knocked over. You're like, let me get that.
You almost got out of the screen because you weren't there. Let's see.
Other angle maybe. Maybe you have some tape out there.
No, you're not even in the screen here. Here you come.
Oh, there he is. Slowly, slowly walking in.
Hey, JJ, you got this, JJ? And then you sort of like pat someone on the back. So, yeah, talk us through that.
I mean, are you – I think you need to hit someone next year. Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to have to redeem myself for that, I think. You're going to have to punch someone.
Yeah, I'm going to have to punch somebody. Go right after.
Maybe when we play against Dallas, we'll just go at Boban, something like that. Oh, yeah.
That would be good. You don't want that smoke.
That would be good. No, I actually appreciate that because that's probably exactly what I would do in that situation.
And it was very relatable that when I pulled it up and was like, where's Joe Harris? It kind of caught me on guard, though, to be honest. Well, you don't expect something like that.
I mean, that's what happens in the playoffs. Hard playoff fouls lead to hard playoff confrontations.
I love it. And Dudley, too, of all people.
I mean, he went a little crazy. I love that.
He went a little crazy there. Was it when you get in that kind of playoff series and guys start to sort of kind of hate each other yeah do you feel with that series it was pretty chippy the whole time yeah do you feel a difference in the play and uh was anyone going to joe harris and talking shit to you no nobody was going at me but i mean the like the series it got it got chippy um you know there were some hard fouls especially with mb and j., and I think that's kind of where Dudley was like, all right, and sort of crossed the line.
Because Jarrett is 21 years old. He's sort of introverted.
He's not going to go out of his way to confront Embiid. But he's like one of our premier players, young, sort of like cornerstones for the organization.
And J.D. was just, you know, I think it kind of got to a boiling point.
Right, right. What's the conversation in the locker room like after a game like that where there's like a lot of emotions running hot? I can tell you, Joe, was like, did you see what I did to that guy? Fucking killed him, dude.
I would have fucked him up, but I had the ball in my hand. Dude, you should have seen it.
I know there would have been a technical if I had thrown the ball into the stand, so I had to hang on to that. Otherwise, it would have swung on.
Good thing J.J. Redick was slowly walking in front of me.
Otherwise it would have been on. That's about right actually.
Sometimes that brings the team together. Sometimes it just drives them to the point where they're too emotional and they go over the edge and they can't come back and they lose the series.
What was that like in the locker room afterwards? Where did it go? To be honest, I mean, nobody was talking a lot about that incident in particular. It was more just like how we had finished the game and, you know, sort of losing.
I forgot how much we were up by, but sort of blew the lead sort of at the end. And then I think at that point we were down 3-1.
So it's sort of hard. Like, you're coming back.
It's like nobody's really getting caught up in what happened with Embiid and JD. Right.
I think you guys didn't cover the spread, and you were up by a shitload. Now that I'm actually replaying it, you guys screwed me.
There was a Saturday. I remember I bet on you guys.
Was it game three? It gets the Sixers, and you did cover the spread. So whatever Saturday that was, thank you.
No, yeah, you guys. You gave me a couple hundred dollars.
You guys blew this game. Blew it.
It was like an eight-point spread, and you ended up – you were up going into the fourth quarter. There was one game in this series where I was very mad about, so I'll figure that out.
Are you ever cognizant of what the spread is? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, you just know it. It's a part of sports now.
It's actually kind of funny, though, that you say that because before the playoff series with the Sixers, they brought up sort of like the gambling odds, like where we were projected to finish the season from the start. And they went through the Vegas odd books and all that stuff.
The coaches were using it as a pregame speech. And afterwards, Ed Davis and I were like, where the hell is the NBA going? We literally are just talking about the odds like it's nothing.
Right. Right.
Adam Silver's smart. He's kind of open arms.
It's so crazy that the other commissioners don't realize what Adam Silver realizes, that Gamma's going to be legalized everywhere. So you might as well get in front of it and let it all in.
He's trying to get a piece of that pie. Right.
Why wouldn't you? I know. Exactly.
What do you think about his idea to do mid--season tournaments uh it's interesting we were actually talking about that the other day too i don't know i mean it seems like it would be it's a good idea maybe on paper but like to be the first one to do it like the guinea pigs for it you know everybody's gonna throw a fit like if you have a tournament like game 50 in the season i mean right i don't know like what are like the the top the premier teams thinking about like you know playing in this like have this tournament that's like sort of meaningless when you have the playoffs on the horizon yeah will the outcome of that be like if you won that mid-season tournament what is he saying that that would mean for the uh i mean i think there i don't think it affects the postseason necessarily at all it's just like a trophy yeah exactly yeah, exactly. Yeah, then there would be like a lot of, if somebody gets injured in that,

then it's a whole thing that becomes a big, yeah.

When you guys, I'm really interested about like the dynamic that's going to affect you guys

because you have a nice young core on the Nets.

You're adding a superstar in Kyrie.

Katie is going to be there in a couple years.

How soon after you sign these guys do you start to implement any changes to to what you've got going like like in terms of the offensive scheme and all that um you know that's an interesting question i don't know like how much they're planning on changing up um to be honest kenny the way that he coaches too he's very good based off of the personnel that he has and so he sort of implements and he's pretty transparent with the two like He's going to have a lot of communication with Kyrie, the new guys, in terms of what they're comfortable playing with in terms of offensive philosophy. But he does a really good job of just letting guys play sort of freely.
There isn't a whole lot of schematics involved with it. It's more based off of just feel and read and react.
That's what a lot of our offense was in the past. And I don't see that necessarily changing a ton unless like I don't know one of these guys has got a problem with it right yeah have you talked to Katie yet yeah has he mentioned us you know now that I think about it I'm not sure he did but I could he might have just say did you ask DeAndre I mean yeah no he said yes he said maybe he said maybe yeah did he allude to he said ask Joe.
He said ask Joe. Has he talked about the blog boys? The blog boys.
You guys are taking up a little space in that hit, I think. We like KD now.
We are KD guys. You're back? Yeah, we've totally flipped.
We are Team Snake. Is that a bad thing? Because you just mentioned earlier, your coaches had up on the wall, these were your odds to make the playoffs.
These are Team Snake. Although, is that a bad thing? Because you just mentioned earlier, like, you know, your coaches had up on the wall, like, these were your odds to make the playoffs.
These are your odds to, like, win this series. A lot of teams play better when they've got that chip on their shoulder.
KD might be that guy that's, like, out there to prove all the blog boys wrong. True.
Now that we like him, he might be too comfortable. Now that I think about it, he might have some stuff in his locker with you guys.
So you give us front row seats and we'll just relay

some information we'll trash the nets actually yeah that'll work so kd gets motivated you get

you get a championship i like it do you have a ring do you have a ring no i don't oh fuck yeah

i traded in january i didn't mean to bring that up um water in the bridge what is your nickname

my nickname because i've read it i found it and there's seven of them yeah i don't know how that

even started to be honest i mean so what is it i mean pretty much all the guys on the team

to see. nickname because i've read it i found it and there's seven of them yeah i don't know how that even started to be honest i mean so what is it i mean pretty much all the guys on the team just call me buckets buckets that's pretty good so i've seen joey hoops uh beef jerky joe yeah joey moses sasquatch so are you joey buckets i would say just buckets okay mr buckets you can call yeah if you, if you want to keep it formal.
Dr. Buckets? I'm working on that.
Jimmy Butler used to, Stacey King, the Bulls color announcer, used to do Jimmy G Buckets and the G stands for gets. Maybe you do that.
Because he's in Miami now. No one's going to care about him anymore.
So Joey G buckets. The G stands for gets.
Yeah, we can work that out. I'll shoot Ian Eagle a text after this just to get some clarification.
Ian does the Nets games? Oh, yeah. A lot of people are going to find that out this year.
He's been doing it for, what, like 20 years? Yeah, I know a lot of people are going to find that out. Yeah, there's that story about Kyrie Irving.
I think Ian was telling this on some other podcast, which I won't name. But Kyrie went up to the dude in front of Ian Eagle on a train.
He goes, hey, man, I just want to say, like, I've been listening to you for 20 years. I'm so glad that you're going to be calling my games now.
And Ian was behind the guy. He was like, hey, I think you're supposed to be talking to me about this.
That's awesome. It was just like some random dude in front of him.
That's awesome. But he's one of those guys where, like, you know his voice when you hear it oh probably oh yeah he's for a game yeah football you know he does nfl games his name should be ian have you ever asked him that i never asked him that okay we'll do that write that down write that down um when are you going to get the classic white guy glow up haircut you mentioned kyle corver yeah look at kyle corver throughout his career you know they basically every white guy does the same thing they come in with their floppy gross hair and then after say gordon hayward that's actually a good point yeah gordon even jj yeah jj uh you had kyle corver kirk heinrich you can have not realized that you need to change it.
I'm in that stage right now.

It's like, you know, I'm in year, I'm going into year six now.

So I think.

It's a little late for it.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's a slow progression.

Okay, you're okay?

All right.

You need to.

I'm good on timing.

You gain like 10 pounds of muscle, like get a little bit of.

Tattoos.

Yeah, get a little bit of a bicep and a sick Euro kind of haircut.

Yeah.

So when's that happening? I mean, it's sort of inevitable, right? It has to. People will respect you so much more.
They'll be like, oh, you know who's been doing well? Joe Harris. I swear to God, that will be the conversation.
Haircut and tats? Or one or the other? You got to get a left sleeve of tats. Or I could just go the opposite.
I could just let it go. Or get the business hats.
Oh, the long hair? Yeah. I mean, Gordon Hayward, you can actually track his career progression from regular guy to big-time contract guy with his haircut and his muscles.
I wouldn't do the long hair. The long hair, it screams just awkwardness, even if you're not doing anything awkward on the court.
Trust me, I know. Nothing that you do on the court looks smooth.
Like look at Kelly Oubre. Look at all these guys.
Like if they fall down, if they get crossed up, it looks so much worse. Basically, that's a great point.
The hair would just be going one way. It flopped, yeah.
If you get faked out of your head, you'd go this way, and then there's a big win thing coming back. I want to talk real quick about three-point contest.
Yeah. were you were really good in that you lost me some money thank you for uh you didn't take my heart i mean no i didn't bet on you i didn't i didn't know no i didn't i had a hot tip curry was i had a hot tip going into it and who'd you bet on home steph curry was it was charlotte right it was dell was there the whole fucking thing yeah that's true yeah so it was a homecoming it was a tough night me, but I've always wondered, people like you that are just absolutely wet from three points, when you practice in the gym, if you just got racks and racks of balls, if you shoot 100 balls from three, how many do you make? Nobody watching.
Nobody watching? Yeah. I don't know.
I mean, I guess we do this shooting drill with the Nets. They call it Nets 105, highest I've ever got is 91 so you shoot 105? 105 threes why? it's just like I don't know that would piss me off yeah to just go out and you have to do the math to get shots up no no no just do 100 105 it would piss me off yeah I don't know I just do what I'm told man 91 that's 90 I don't know 91 that's 90 89 percent i hate to get the calculator out it's like 89 because i i always see you know you go to the gym you see old guys at the ymc they're like 65 years old wearing like sweat stained russell athletic shorts and it seems like they hit 50 of their threes when they're just practicing yeah i've always wondered like you know a professional at the at the peak of, like, you can just go in the gym and basically not miss from three.
Yeah, some guys. But I would say it's probably not as high of a clip as you would guess.
Shooting is one of those things where, like, some of those guys that are shooting at the YMCA, I mean, they might shoot better than half of the pros, to be honest. If they're just stationary and you're just shooting around.
Right, no one's running at you. Yeah, exactly.
And you're just shooting shots. Yeah.
So why haven't you put these shots on Instagram? That's kind of a big deal. I got a lot in my phone.
I'm kind of waiting for the right moment. I feel like this interview happened at the perfect time because you are just a little ball of clay.
And we need to fix you and mold you into something that can make max,

max money.

Joey Clouts.

Joey Clouts.

Joey Clout.

We need to get an Instagram up there of you going like 50 for 50.

Right.

That would get the world buzzing.

You would get so many more minutes.

Carmelo almost made a comeback just from hitting like 15 threes.

You'd play for Team USA.

You'd be in Space Jam.

These are important.

I mean, these are important things.

You've got to get an Instagram person.

Yeah, we'll get you. We'll help you out.
We'll be part of your... How big is your crew? My crew? Yeah.
What do you mean my crew? I mean, you came with a few guys. How deep do you roll? I mean, those are the Nets PR department.
They're big stoolies. Oh, okay.
Nice. And then this joker.
This is one of my best friends. So is he part of the crew? Does he live here? No, no, no.
Okay. So technically not part of the crew.
crew. He's outside.
He's a remote crew. So what you're saying, and correct me if I'm wrong, you have no crew that lives in New York.
That's true. And then there's two guys who live in New York.
That would be in a crew. In the crew.
Yeah. I'm crew ready.
We would be happy to do it. Yeah.
Yeah. I got to talk to Chris about it first.

Oh, yeah.

Back on checks.

Yeah, we can talk about Chris Long.

So you do the Waterboys with Chris Long, which is a great charity.

I would imagine Chris is a little bit of a mentor in that.

Yes.

So what was your reaction when he found out he was addicted to marijuana?

That had to be tough, right?

Really tough.

It was a heartbreaker.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It just ruins your image of a guy. Will not stop smoking weed.
You think you know somebody. I mean, his body's been through a lot.
That's true. All right.
That's true. We're not going to push opioids on him, right? Right.
That's true. Yeah.
Danny Cannell. I'm trying to change the image.
Danny Cannell has the science is still out there whether opioids are as bad as marijuana, but we'll find out. Do you feel bad having this big guaranteed NBA contract and not donating your entire salary to charity? Yep.
Chris really puts you on the spot a little bit. We're friends with Chris.
He was actually the first guest on the show like three and a half years ago. First ever guest.
I listened to it. Yeah, just be honest with us, though.
Like, Chris Long kind of fucked it up for everyone else. Like, it's a try-hard move.
I wouldn't say that. Okay.
Joe's winking as we say that. It's crazy.
What was it that Britt McHenry said, like, he only did it to get the tax write-off? Yeah. So technically, he made money by giving away.
The more money you give away, you actually get paid for doing that. Dude, could you imagine going to UVA and be like, well, at Virginia, we give away all of our money.
Right? Yeah, that's what Thomas Jefferson did, right? That's bullshit. He ruined it for everyone.
Yeah, I think Thomas Jefferson did that. Was that cool, going from UVA to Cleveland and not having to change your wallpaper or anything? Yeah, straight Cavaliers.
Yeah, it was easy. Think about that.
Same number, Cavaliers, just a just a little different shades yeah it's easy for the folks at home to remember um i would like to just pretend that you guys didn't win the national championship last or this past year so let's talk about the one verse 16 did you have you been doing more interviews since you won the national championship knowing that people can't bring that up anymore yeah Yeah. I thought that they put that to rest, but, you know.

No.

Absolutely not.

I mean, it will always be.

It's the greatest story of redemption in the history of sports.

Yeah.

It's up there.

I don't know.

Arguable.

OJ has still not been suspended by the NFL.

That's true.

Well, yeah.

We'll see what happens with OJ.

I'm going to wait to see how his fantasy picks do this year.

Okay.

We'll wait for that one.

Was it tough going to Virginia and having Tony Bennett recruit you

knowing that he's eventually going to go back to Wisconsin?

Yeah, that was actually a big worry for a lot of UVA fans.

So let's get the rumor going again.

Yeah, we can start it up again.

Tony Bennett to Wisconsin.

I think his contract is like 12 years right now.

Yeah, it's way too much money.

But 12 years from now, I mean.

Right, when he lost to the UMBC, I was like,

this guy's trash.

I'd never want him.

And now I'm like, please, please.

It was tough.

It was going to be tough to get the stink of that loss off him.

Now I think maybe he's bad.

Would you say he's the best coach in the ACC?

Oh, yes.

He's the best coach in college basketball.

Yeah.

Better than Coach K?

Yeah. Do you think the pack line defense is cheating? No.
It's bullshit, though. You're not a fan? No.
You don't enjoy watching UVA games? Everyone just standing there and stopping everything that gets to the hoop? Honestly, you have to watch UVA games and sometimes be like, can I just turn this off? Yeah. Right? You probably did that while you were playing.
I have an appreciation for defense okay uh yeah oh yeah that's most virginia that's my favorite that well actually they're the most efficient offense yeah you don't realize you guys don't read kim oh i know kim oh they score 52 points game but they do it very efficiently yeah uh most efficient when i'd imagine those practices were very tough though stealing, stealing that defense, right? Yeah, dude.

When I got to the NBA, I was like,

I can't believe what I went through for like four years.

Did you ever get thrown off in college if you were playing on the road

and they did that fake countdown on the shot clock

where they counted down like three seconds too early?

Great question, PFT.

That is a good question.

No, I don't think that ever happened to me.

I don't really handle the ball a lot, so it's like shot clock is winding down. probably getting rid of it yeah yeah yeah make sure that someone else yeah somebody else like an idiot yeah exactly that's actually smart yeah that's joe harris smart the hot potato game yeah we should probably ask you this question you're a good uh test case for this what is better being really wet from three or dunking on a fool um i'm probably dunking yeah yeah i I don't know, man.
I kind of wish that I had a little more of that. But that's because you're so wet from three.
Yeah, but... Think about the modern NBA.
Yeah. You've got to be...
I've got a job because I can shoot threes. Exactly.
Not because you can dunk. Yeah.
But it's cooler to dunk on a fool. You know what's cool? It's a higher percentage shot.
$16 million guaranteed. That's not that not that's my man.
Joe Harris. We're part of his crew.
So much right. We're forming right now.
We'll work out numbers. What's the most expensive like steak dinner you've paid for since you got the contract steak dinner? Yeah, or like dinner or something.
Yeah, what's what's the biggest purchase you've made? Biggest purchase? Yeah. Do you still rent? Yeah't buy in the city you can't buy in the city that's that's that's when you know new york is the worst biggest indictment fucking nba player just signed a 60 million dollar contract like renting come on yeah there's a reason katie kairi and deandre came at the same time they're splitting the place yeah right hanging out in prospect park together they're at murray hill whose turn is it to clean the bathroom they got a three bedroom one bath and Murray Hill.
Yeah, right. Hanging out in Prospect Park together.
They're at Murray Hill. Whose turn is it to clean the bathroom?

They've got a three-bedroom, one-bath in Murray Hill.

Yeah. Murray Chill.

Ooh. I like that, Joe Harris.

No, I have not, but I like that.

I'm a little too old for that.

Alright, my last question. It's a SeatGeek question.

Promo code TAKE. Put it in.
You get $10

off. Go to a Brooklyn Nets game

this year. Go see Joe Harris

wet from three. I guess I didn't actually...
I got all of our questions I got a question for us um yeah so what is like the crew entail what are you guys gonna do for me uh we just mostly hang out and make money off your name videotape your shooting you guys can like film some of my workouts maybe yeah we'll some of your workouts um we'll take your credit card and go get you lunch but then buy some stuff for ourselves while we're at the bodega. Yeah, that's kind of what happens though with the crew, right? Yeah, that's what the crew does.
You gotta take care of you guys, yeah. Let's see.
We'll motivate KD anytime you need. We'll respond to your DMs.
So here's one thing KD has done really a good job of is he responds to every DM that he gets on Instagram talking shit to him. We do that, yeah.
But people take the screenshots and they tweet him out, keeps his name in the news. We'll respond to your haters on IG from your Instagram account.
Then they'll screenshot that, keep your name in the news. Just anything to keep your name like bubbling around Rachel Nichols' parameters so she has something to report on.
Right. We actually have a direct line to Rachel.
So we'll just tell her to. And Chris Broussard.
And Ryan Russillo. Although that doesn't...
Joe was just like, who the fuck is that guy? We also... Is he a bodybuilder? Yeah, pretty much.
That would be his career highlight to hear you say that. I would say that we are the perfect level of intelligence slash stupidity to have a very deep but surface level conversation with kairi irving yeah i mean i saw the documentary about flat earthing i could talk to him for at least a half hour about it yeah you could get going on some some deep conspiracy theories yeah we're kind of in the same zone.
Area 51, I'm sure he'd probably want to dive into that a little bit. Oh, right.
We're not smart, but we are smart enough to talk about random things. I mean, it is a fact that there aren't any flights that leave from Australia and go anywhere in the Southern Hemisphere.
I looked at the flight patterns. That's a fact.
You can't argue with the data. I do have one last question.
This is according to your Wikipedia. It said that you had an extra bone in your foot.
Is that true? You had surgery to remove an extra bone in your foot? No, I don't think that's true. Wikipedia fails me again.
That would have been pretty cool, though, if you did have an extra bone. But then I would be like, why are you taking my secret power away? Yeah.
Maybe that's what got me there. So why did you have the surgery? I had like a volition fracture.
So basically just a bone had broken off and was floating in the side of my foot. So maybe that's the confusion.
Kind of like an extra bone. Yeah, kind of like an extra bone.
Yeah. Damn, Wikipedia failed us.
It did. Yeah, that's too bad.
All right, Joe. It's like saying like Marshawn Lattimore has an extra ligament floating around his knee.
Yeah, somewhere in there. Yeah, removed.
Yeah, no shit. Joe, thank you.
This isn't goodbye because this is the start of the crew. The crew, right, right.
So we'll be at – I'm not going to go to more than like four or five games. Oh, that's fine.
That is a big promise, right? Yeah, even saying that was really a lot. We'll go to – Four or five.
Two games. Those will be all the playoff games.
Playoff games. I'm not going to any regular season games.
We'll go to four game, seven home playoff games. Yes.
For you. Okay.
I mean, that's part of the crew, though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm going to need you the most.
Yeah, actually, we actually are perfect because even if you offer us free tickets, we're going to say no. Like, I don't think so.
Yeah, I mean, that is a big bonus. You guys aren't demanding.
I can already tell. Yeah, yeah.
A lot of times it's a very low maintenance relationship.

You get family and entourage that are hitting you up all the time for all this shit.

Tickets.

Yeah.

You couldn't give me money to go to a next day.

So we're good.

Yeah, that's perfect.

Those PR guys are going to love that.

They're watching the other room.

Jeez, they're shaking over there.

All right.

Thanks, Joe.

Thanks, Joe. Appreciate it, guys.
We're going to get right back to the show. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let's get to some segments.
First up, we have embrace theace Debate. This is for Carmelo Anthony because Damian Lillard said, hashtag vote for Mellow farewell season, hashtag stop playing Mellow.
So the question is, does Carmelo Anthony deserve a farewell tour? Yeah, and Stephen A. Smith took the bull by the horns in this debate because I didn't even know this debate existed until he got on the air to say he's very sorry to have to say it, but he doesn't.
This is a classic Stephen A. Smith thing too, where he takes an opinion that he probably didn't have to say out loud, but he brings it out there and he said just to show you what a journalist he is, he's like, listen, Carmelo is one of my favorite people on the planet, and it pains me to say this and to make a big news story out of it and to make a lot of headlines out of this, but he does not deserve a farewell tour.
Oh, man. Poor Melo.
And his farewell tour should have been the USA basketball. He should have played in the FIBA, whatever the hell is going on this summer, and that would have been great.
He should just do a farewell tour of Lifetime Fitness is wearing the hoodie hoodie hoodie. Mello on a farewell tour to gyms.
I was going to say he should do a farewell tour where he just goes to each arena wearing a Darko Jersey just to remind people that Darko was in that draft. Because I feel like, you know, when LeBron Darko Mello, I think it was Bosch then Wade.
But either way, Dwayne Wade and LeBron and Melo, they're all good friends. Same draft.
Rings for the other guys, including Bosh. Nothing for Melo.
Got to remind people that Darko was that guy. Have to just get that back into the media language.
Maybe just have Carmelo go up to Detroit while they retire Darko's jersey. jersey right and just have him be the one that lowers it from the rafters it's it's it's just an important note that he needs to just hammer home like hey guys don't feel bad for me remember darko he stunk or they could take him like city to city once a year have lala go out on the court and then reveal carmelo coming out behind him like he he's a troop being brought home and have her run up and give him a big kiss.
The answer, though, what are you going to say? I think they broke up. Oh, did they? No, I think they're okay.
It would be even better if they broke up and they're getting back together. Yeah, that would make it even more emotional.
I think the farewell tour, you need to have a ring. Are you talking about him being married still? No, no, no, no, the NBA championship.
I think you need to have a ring to get that's talking about him being married still or no no no the the nba championship okay i think you need to have a ring to get a farewell tour i think that's what the threshold okay so um steve blake farewell tour yes okay sold adam morrison two farewell tours yes okay done done don't you think though because he also it's it hurts that mellow he you know peak mellow was actually you know on the nuggets Nuggets when they went to the Western Conference Finals and almost beat the Lakers. But then he went to New York, was awesome there for a while, but it's like he's split between two fan bases.
He was never that awesome in New York either. No, but he was pretty good for a couple years.
That year when he dragged them to, I can't remember what seed they got, but he was scoring

at an insane clip.

Yeah.

But Knicks fans feel very, they don't love Melo because Melo signed that big deal, which

wasn't his fault.

But winning 45 games for the Knicks, that's like winning three championships for the Warriors.

Getting to the playoffs for the Knicks.

The Mecca, it's a lot.

It's the exact same thing.

You could just do a farewell tour in the Big Three. Yeah, you've in the Big 3.
He would be the best Big 3 player of all time. Probably not.
He would probably be perfectly mellow everywhere he goes and just be like, the fourth best. He would come back and just be a little bit worse than Steven Jackson.
On the odds of him coming off the bench in la i hope for the lakers oh man i want it so bad they really need to listen oh adam silver because you listen to the fans you do everything we say uh how about the lakers get an extra roster spot this year just for carmelo i like they can't use it on anyone else just carmelo so that we can have the fun of watching carelo try to play with the Lakers. Or since Carmelo is so good at competitions that don't really result in NBA titles, bring him in for that mid-winter tournament that you want.
He might be the best mid-winter basketball player of all time. We don't know yet.
Or honorary spot every single year in the three-point competition. Yeah, I'll take that.
That would be good. Just something that Melo should get.
He shouldn't get a farewell tour, but he should get something that keeps his legacy alive for a little bit longer. Or like one farewell thing.
Just put him on a boat and then crack a champagne bottle and push him out to sea. Dude, could you imagine? And lay it on fire like a Viking funeral.
Could you imagine my idea that the idea I would love to see happen where every college has one player that they can always bring back? Yep't matter how much they played in the pros, what part of their career, every college has one spot, football and basketball where they have a guy who went to that school gets to play. Syracuse is definitely doing Jerry McNamara.
Dude, Mello playing on Syracuse this year? Talk about ratings. Come on.
Figure it out, NCAA. That's the solution.
I just want to see all these guys come back i want to see dude tebow being all-time quarterback in florida who would be against it'd be incredible uh my darling jake would you say that carmelo anthony is the best athlete in the history of syracuse as a syracuse grad no who is donovan mcnab who is it my darling jake greg paulis oh jim brown jim bright i hate how everyone does that for their answers they're like who's the best football player who's the best lacrosse player who's jim brown dude it's been like 80 years okay also no offense jim brown and he's not a good guy yeah but there i i will say to that defense there's an interview that is coming up next week that kind of helps that out you mean? When a certified football guy says something along the same lines.

Oh, that's true.

Yeah, that's true.

Oh, you don't even remember.

What?

You already forgot.

You asked one of the interviews next week who they like to watch on film,

and they're like, Jim Brown.

I feel like that was a fake answer, though.

That's what I'm saying, though.

I think that the person that we were interviewed,

and you'll hear this later,

I think this person was so against giving us any sort of answer

that might allow his opponents to know what goes on inside of his brain that he just made up Jim Brown on the spot. It's the go-to answer to be like, you can't debate me.
We were like, oh, yeah, who's your favorite player of all time? Jim Brown. Like, well, 90% of football fans never saw him play, so we can't debate you.
He also played against, like, Bill Russell, Babe Ruth. I believe the Billsell one greatest of all time yeah goat yeah could you imagine bill russell in today's like peak bill russell in today's nba although he would i do believe that the elite of the elite no matter what era would figure it out just because they're that special but it still is funny to think about like babe ruth facing uh like a hundred mile an hour fast what about sports debater from way, way back in the day? Like, do you, I think I could mop the floor with Howard Cosell.
Ooh, I think he taught, he was named Dr. Z.
Dr. Z.
Yeah. He was a, he was a writer.
Yeah. Yeah.
Writer. Yeah.
So I don't think he was a debate guy. Dick Schaap, Dick Schaap, Marv Albert in any era, He's still alive.
Yeah, I know. I'm just saying.
Well, yeah, his body is. Okay, let's go to this league.
We actually have some news from the eSports League, Hank. Explain this.
Ninja is ditching Twitch to stream exclusively on Mixer. This league.
This motherfucking league. What's Mixer? I just learned about it today.
It sounds like it's just Twitch, but it's a different. But Mixer.
Yeah. But Mixer.
It's the Microsoft version, I think. Okay.
So Steve Ballmer. Like until today, I didn't know Twitch had any competition, but now that they just signed, I mean, Ninja's, from what I know, the biggest streamer.
So it's like, if another website can sign the biggest streamer, Twitch is only as big as the streamers that they have. So this is pretty so is this the start of a trend i mean he's the biggest guy like and clearly the fact that the guy that won the fortnite championship won three million like and he's the star of the whole game slash twitch community i was thinking upwards of 100 mil and or equity probably equity is there a salary cap in online gaming? No?

I'm getting a no?

No. Microsoft's going to have to pay the luxury tax don't know it is like Hulk Hogan going to WCW bash at the beach the attitude era is over sorry not sorry Le'Veon Bell wants to apologize to all the fantasy owners that he fucked over last year why is this not not sorry? Did he not sorry it? Well, no, he apologized twice.
But then the second time that he apologized, he said, but you should still draft me number one again this year. I don't like the fact that he apologized in the first place, and I'll tell you why.
Because as somebody who was smart enough as a fantasy governor to not draft him last year, he made me feel like my decision wasn't me being intelligent enough. He put it on him.
He took credit for my good decision to not draft him. I didn't, I didn't draft him either, but I, I am officially not accepting his apology on behalf of all Le'Veon Bell fantasy owners.
Yeah. So I speak for you.
Class action lawsuit. We need to make, we should make one of those videos.
Have you been defrauded? Yep have you been defrauded yep by levy yeah absolutely call 866-555-5555 i'm also mad code i'm also uh i'm blackballing levy on bell okay i'm just putting the black ball out there on no one's drafting no one's drafting him this year i love when people all fantasy all fantasy governors unite behind this none of us are are drafting Le'Veon Bell. Tyreek Hill? Not on my team.
Nope. Won't have it.
Unless I get him in the second. And when I had Todd Gurley, I benched his ass.
Yeah. I made him sit down.
Fuck yeah. Think about what you did.
Bro. Nobody is above my team.
Get out of here. Kareem Hunt? Don't even think about it.
Unless he's on waivers. Pick him up first.
Right away, dude. Yeah, it'd be management to not have to even consider the fact.
All right, last up before we get to FAQs, Hank Hot in the Streets. Hank, I've been asking you about this.
Or do you have something for us, or is this the one I'm thinking about? This is the one you're thinking about. I've been asking about this all week.
What is Hot Boy Summer? And two what is hot boy summer two is it still going on three are pft and i participating in it without us knowing uh essentially you are basically fuck yeah that's all i need to know hot boy summer hot boy summer hot boy summer living the dream yeah it actually started as it's actually a hot girl summer and bod It's actually Hot Girl Summer And City Boy Summer But Hot Girl Summer We're Hot Boy Summer The whole hot Boy or girl Phenomenon Started from Megan Thee Stallion Who's a rapper Okay And she did a quote Where someone asked her about it She said It's about women and men Being unapologetically them Just having a good ass time Fuck yeah Hyping up their friends Doing you I'm so mean You look hot right now hot. Thanks.
We've been so us this summer. Yeah.
Hank, you look good. Thank you.
Yeah. Real good.
Find me three guys that haven't been more hot than us. Yeah.
Bubba. He's the hottest.
He looks like a snack. You can just eat them as long as he's awake.
So the hot girl summer was invented, and then boys, obviously, they couldn't just handle everyone being like, hot girl summer. No.
How come it's not a hot girl summer for men? Male persecution. We have to do city boy summer.
And then hot boys. What is that, though? You have to live in a city? No.
What about country boys? They didn't want to be like, oh, hot girl, hot boy. We'll make up our own thing like city boys.
City boys. I don't like city boys.
I think I'm going to stick with hot boy summer. Hot boys goes back.
Lil Wayne, his original rap group was the hot boys. Don't lecture me about Lil Wayne's original story.
Are we city boying it or hot boying it? We're hot boying. Which would you say we are? It is hot.
We are hot city boys. I think we're hot boys.
When I was growing up, we called hot boys. If you were like, let's say we're underage, we're going to a party, and you have beers in the backseat, and it's sketchy, you're being a hot boy.
Okay, why don't we just do this? Oh, like the block is hot. you you're riding dirty you're a hot boy yeah okay if you're riding dirty you're a dirty boy okay why don't we do this though why don't we combine them why don't we do we're hot city boys because every time we go out on the street in new york my ass is a pool hot city boy something hot city boy it's just pictures of our at our fucking swamp just yeah like if you're a finance bro, just send pictures of like your- Yeah, Hot City Boys Summer.
Yeah. Hot City Boys Summer.
You're just a packed subway and everyone's just- You're stuck in someone's fucking armpit. Like if someone in your office has back sweat, like come through their shirt.
Time of year that you bring two shirts to work, one to change into when you get there, then your commute shirt for the way back. I need like six showers a day.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hot City Boys Summer. Shower in the morning and shower after work that's a Tim Ryan special hot city boys uh okay Hank FAQs okay hey how's it going men of PMT especially Jake the Snake I was wondering if after going to the democratic debate and seeing the men and women on stage would PFT consider running for president he would for sure win as there's no way the AWLs will let him lose.
Would love to see PMT live from the Oval Office. That would be such a disaster for everybody involved.
Everyone. But yes, I would.
I'm not ruling anything out, and I have considered it, even though I'm not currently qualified to run for president as somebody who's 34 years old. Yeah, that's true.
No, you'll be 35. I'll be 35 in 2020.
Oh, in 2020, you're right. There you go.
All right. I'm hereby declaring.
I'm hereby declaring myself. You think you're just going to be 34 forever? I'm opening my candidacy for president of the United States of America.
All I need is 125,000 individual donors. If 125,000 of you gave me $1, then I would qualify for the next debates.
So I don't see why not. That's easy, dude.
I have more than enough madden codes to get money from yes from the people here's what i'm promising you ready yeah a madden code for everyone a madden code in every pot uh legalized marijuana yep legalized sports gambling day after the super bowl national holiday done two fourth of july's did you see that bro who went to like city council the eighth of july he was like he this is like guy when chad goes deep chad goes deep friend of the program he went to a city council he's like fourth of july is so dope why don't we do two of them i love it yeah why not let's celebrate twice also bolt man will be my uh secretary of defense okay i was gonna say vice president fuck it bolt man yeah okay man, vice president. And then I'm elevating Tom Sula, secretary of defense.

Perfect, perfect.

Just fart on Kim Jong-un.

What do you miss most, if anything, about the earlier days recording part of my take

that you probably could not get away with anymore?

Hank falling asleep during episodes.

Well, I mean, we just kind of just passed the torch.

Having youthful energy.

Yeah, that's true.

You did just pass all your bad habits to Liam. I miss Stella a little bit.
Yeah. I miss her chiming in in the background.
She barks a lot still. Nice little accent.
Just so you know, she's still barking. Just a random bark at nothing.
I miss back when I thought maybe there was a chance that Big Ken and I both didn't have sex, but now that's been debunked. Yeah.
Now we're not just exclusively for virgins. Yeah.
I don't know what... I think everything's gotten pretty much better.
Skype sucked. I know there's sometimes people like, oh, Skype is better.
I don't think for this show they say that, but they say for other things that we put out there. Skype is such a pain in the ass, and you just can't get the same flow.
Even when we do it when one of us is on the road like it's just not the same show i do miss being able to punch up at more people like now we can't go after jay mariotti anymore that's true but we still do but i think we can still i think we've gotten a nice spot where we can just make fun of people to their face now yeah that's almost even more fun it's almost more liberating you're right sitting down next to somebody here's the about you. Yes, and you'll see some of that next week.
Next week, yes. Same guy who likes Jim Brown.
Another related to that question. How often do you guys get asked if someone can come be interviewed on your show instead of when you guys first started where it was probably more you had to ask them? It's like, I'd say 50-50 right now.
A lot of the guests, and when we're saying we ask them to come on the on the show yeah like we get some people where we want like friends of ours or people that have been on the show are like grail guests if we have a grail out there we'll ask to get them on but then a lot of times we'll have our uh talent booker that brings them in for us do you know who asked me uh to come on the show old old friend of yours hank tj lavin nope laduka nope surfer oh the one yeah anastasia ashley has to call on the show some interesting stories about you and her hank get her on you yeah we'll do it we can talk about it old snapchat buddy um what is that's gonna piss people off

not knowing what we're talking about

this is hot city boy summer. There you go.
I'm sweating through my sweatshirt right now. Well, you're wearing a sweatshirt.
That's true. Hand up.
Hand up. I'm like a basketball coach.
What would be the overall results of a PMT decathlon? Who would come first through sixth with PFT, Big Cat, Hank, Liam, Jake, and Jilly all competing?

What events?

I don't know what the events are.

A decathlon.

I don't know what events are.

Okay, let's look at fake sports.

Running.

Hang on.

Swimming.

It's not just running.

There's kayaking.

It's swimming in a decathlon.

Decathlon.

They just run and jump and they throw and they...

I think they do the shooting.

No, they don't shoot.

You're thinking of...

I'm the only gun owner, so I'd probably win that one.

Next question.

We don't even know what a decathlon is.

I don't shoot I'm the only gun owner so I'd probably win that one next question we don't even know what a decathlon is that's a fucking terrible question we'd all quit before it was over because we'd be too tired the minute I got out to the track you know that heat that's just on a track fuck that I'm going home 10 events well yeah I got that part But here's a little quiz. Don't look it up.

Who can name ten events in the decathlon?

And if you can, you're a nerd.

Okay.

Hey, PMT, FAQ for you.

Of the bad interviews that PMT has had over the years,

parentheses, Dan Marino, Dak Prescott, Kareem, et cetera,

what interview would you like to do over the most and why? That's a good question. Oh, I know the answer.
You go first. Krista Thompson, which we'll have her back on again, but we did that to Skype.
That was right when I moved. Fun fact about that one, that was like the day I moved into my first apartment in New York, and I moved in with people I didn't know.
And I was like, this was before the office was open, and're like don't work from home I was like don't worry I'll be at the office whenever I'm working and for that one I had to record it at the house and they were having like a party and it was like it was a shit it was an absolute shit show I was in San Francisco PFT was in Texas Carissa was in California I was in New York because I had my washer and dryer behind me in my kitchen four different skypes and we also just did a terrible job researching it said she went to washington state she was like nope oh i told her next time she comes on the show she just has to run with the fact that she is yes so and we know we know uh carissa so we'll definitely have her back on we actually saw her at the super bowl so that will definitely happen again but i wish we had that back. That's a very good answer.
I would say I would like to do Dan Marino again. I think you'd get the exact same shit.
You want to know why? Because if we did him over again, I think we would get more hostile to him earlier in the interview instead of trying to make him come along. He'd just leave.
For sure would leave. I hope we get to a point.
I think there will be a point in the next year or so that Dak Prescott will come back on not remembering that he's been on before. And that would be a great moment.
And by the way, we're not going to tell him that he's been on. Right, right, right.
We'll ask the same exact questions. All right, we'll end it with this.
Actually, one more question for Big Cat. Will we see high five men shirts on Barstool? Graham Mertz is the GOAT and I need this shirt.
Yes. What's that? So I obviously went to University of Wisconsin.
It looks like Heisman, but instead of the S, it's a five. Yeah, I make a Heisman shirt for every Wisconsin quarterback knowing they'll never win a Heisman.
Bart Heisman. What was my other one? Oh, Horny for Heisman.
Like 10 people buy him. Shout out all those 10 people.
But Graham Mertz is the first four-star recruit at quarterback that Wisconsin's ever had, and his number's five. Well, it's him and then the guy that's from Long Island.
Jack Cohn. That's a five-star recruit, too.
Jack Cohn, probably the starter. So, yeah, you will have a Graham.
You probably get a Jack Cohn Heisman shirt before you get a Graham Mertz, but both will be on the way. All right.
What is the most awkward or uncomfortable thing that has happened off air with someone you've interviewed that the awls don't know about i'm thinking if can we tell the deandre jordan thing oh yeah yeah say this was one of the this was all time all time one of the funniest moments i've had doing this podcast deandre jordan was walking in the door they're like deandre jordan's here and he was probably two feet behind the uh like talent booker girl that works here and she walked in and as she walked in she said hey you guys can't talk about the nets and before anyone had any time to process that deandre jordan just walked i think i said what the fuck out loud in front of deandre jordan we did talk about the nets but it was the weirdest thing that i think has ever been requested of us because we don't usually do any of those requests and i don't think that was coming from him either no it wasn't he was totally fine with it what happened was he walked in the door and and the person said yeah if he could not talk about the nets with him that would be great and a big cat i think goes what the fuck and i go wait like what do you mean not about the nets and the person goes if you could just like stick to mainly talking about dunkin donuts that'd be great we're like, oh, okay. It's a weird thing that happens in the interview world where it's almost 100% of the time not the athlete that's asking.
It's the PR people that rep the athlete who are weirdly nervous about stuff that you don't even think that they should be. So DeAndre was totally fine, but his person just walks around.
I think that's actually's actually now that i'm replaying it that's actually just a chess game that pr people are playing by just they don't even care yeah if you bring up the nets but they throw you off your game right before you walk in by being like hey don't bring up the thing that everyone wants to talk about hey don't talk about basketball yes yes uh all right that right. That's our show.
We'll see everyone Monday.

Training camp week.

Huge guest every single day next week.

I'm very excited for Monday's show because it's a recurring guest, one we've had on,

and holy shit, he is the best.

Should we say so?

Bubba's going to say goodbye to you guys today.

Love you guys today. Bubba's going to say i'll say it anyway Today isn't my what to say.
I'll say it anyway.

Today isn't my day to find you. Shine away.
I'll be coming for your love, okay? Take on me. Take on me.
Be on. I'll be gone in a day or two so needless to say our odds and ends are like beads stolen away Slowly learning that life is okay Say after me

It's still better to be safe than sorry

Take on me

Take on me

Take me on

Take on me

I'll be gone

Thank you. Take me on.
Take on me. I'll be gone in a day or two.
PS4 code BMFX52NK8HJ4. Yeah, that was the whole thing.

The end was 8-H-J-4 for those who didn't get it. Oh, the things you say Yeah, it's life or is it a play My worries away's away.
You're all the things I've got to remember.

You shine away.

I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me on.

Take on me.

I'll be gone in a day or two.

Take on me.

I'll be gone. Take on me.
I'll be gone.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me on.

Take on me.

Yeah.

Way to go, Bubba.

Never miss a flight again, Bubba.

Never miss a flight again.

Love you, Bubba.