WWE Superstar Nikki Bella, Tony Scheffler and The Mt Rushmore Of Farm Animals

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On today's part of my take, we have Mount Rushmore Farm Animals with our good friend tony scheffler old time recurring guest good friend of the program and also one of the most famous videos in barstool history tony scheffler and we also have nikki bella wwe superstar former w. Really, really fun interview.

It was one of those ones we went into.

We're like, we don't know a lot about Nikki Bella,

but we walked out of it being like, I think we're best friends

because this was a ton of fun.

We have Hot Seat Cool Throne.

We have Bachelorette Talk for guys that haven't watched The Bachelorette.

And if you actually have not watched it, by the way, there's spoilers.

And we have guys on Chicks.

Before we get to all that, we're going to get right back to the show.

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save at Whole Foods Market in-store and online. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, let's go. No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't live all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by Cash App.
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You get $5 for free and $5 for the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, July 31st, and I didn't realize there were 31 days in July.
I thought it was 30. It's one of those months that sneaks up on you a little bit for sure.'s like 30 days have july it should be in there it's in the middle of summer nobody needs another 95 degree day wait is it is it is tomorrow august 1st no it's not okay all right yeah so today's july 31st uh i'm ready for august just get done with july already but there's nothing better than a late july news story in the sports world that is completely inconsequential, totally exhausting.
And yet here we are. It's LeBron James AAU watch day three.
We now have enter into the Coliseum a worthy foe. And that is Jason Whitlock saying that LeBron James is addicted to being a celebrity.
It's more dangerous than being addicted to cocaine. It's very true.
I agree 100% with Mr. Whitlock on this one.
I would actually say that the worst thing that LeBron James is doing, the proof that he doesn't actually love his kids, is that they're playing basketball and not football. Like LeBron James should have been a football player to begin with.
He's always kind of taking the coward's way out. But the fact that his son is at AAU basketball, yeah, that's a pretty big indictment right there.
Yeah, this, though, is such a classic case of, you know, a few people made some jokes, we had some fun, and then because of the time of year and the down cycle in news, sports stories, everyone's in training camp, but we haven't played any training camp games or preseason games, we get essentially everyone has to weigh in. Literally every single person has to weigh in on LeBron James at AAU games, and you just look back and you're like, wait, people were just kind of making a couple jokes.
We don't really have to be this serious about it. We don't have to talk about whether his merit is a father and how people are going going at him for that it's like we just kind of thought it was a little awkward that he was uh dunking in a layup line and that technically is a technical foul if we want to go by the letter of the rules so he's hurting his son's team by uh assessing a technical foul before the game even starts and he could also break the goal which is an issue and it's a safety issue it's all yeah we could we could we could sit here and nitpick all day about this sort of thing, but I think if you really want to know the correct take, you can just go back and listen to Monday as part of my take because I think we said everything that needed to be said at the time.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean people aren't going to milk it for a couple more days. I guess we're technically doing it right now, but it also shows where we're at because if there were football games going on, this is actuallyger goodell's fault if we had more football games if we had a 20 game season we probably already would have started at all the preseason games we'd be able to talk about that instead we're stuck talking about this stupid fucking story that we're all sick of so let's agree to move on oh hank has one last thing i have a quick side note kind of regarding this story uh it's more about the fox sports uh anchors and people we talked about nick wright's hair being real but the fact that coward's hair is so ridiculous and now whitlock's hair is so ridiculous it does not help nick wright's case at all no like the three of them together is just uh it's a preposterous looking cast of of weird hair hey you make you make a very very good point and that's like when you put him side to side with those other two guys, it's tough.
It's a tough sell. I still stand firmly in the camp that Nick Wright has genuine hair right now.
He's just never grown it out until he went on vacation. But yeah, you're right.
It's like if you're looking at a group of offensive linemen and two out of the three of them look like they've been jamming steroids up their butt for the last six years and then one guy is just like really big you're going to point at that guy and say like this dude's on steroids too all right enough about tennessee titans let's talk about some football news um so we had the best news that happened in the NFL that was a nice little double burn right there not just not only the fact of the steroids with the Titans, but also saying, okay, let's stop talking about the Tennessee Titans and instead talk about football. Yeah, let's talk about football.
The biggest news that has come out from training camp so far, there's two big news stories we've got to get to, but the number one news story, John Gruden on backup quarterback battle, this Nate Peterman guy is growing on me the greatest news i have ever seen this is this gave me goosebumps in late july and just a little like a nice trick that john gruden played there not nathan peterman nate peterman that's a different guy he knows if you change a guy's name like that, he is ready to go. We tried to do it with Jon Manziel.
Didn't really work. Nate Peterman probably still won't work, but I love it.
Well, we called this a while ago because when he was coming out of college, you'll recall that Jon Gruden fell in love with the fact that he was able to operate a huddle efficiently. He had command presence in the huddle, which is like that's the number one thing that John Gruden looks for.
Ultimate looks good in short sky. You'll remember back in Tampa Bay, he would just, every single offseason, he'd bring in like six over-the-hill quarterbacks that knew how to get in and out of a huddle in less than 10 seconds.
And as long as he could do that, he'd be like, yeah, Jake DeLome, bring him in. Jake Plummer, he loved Jake Plummer.
And that guy could get in and out of huddle. Now, what he did after he got out of the huddle wasn't so great.
But, yeah, Gruden added he went on about Nathan. I would actually say, excuse me, Nate, I would say he went on and he gushed about Nate Peterman.
He said he's smart. He's done a good job.
He's been consistent. And i think he's starting to get his confidence back so if we get a world with yeah a confident nate peterman is a great world to be in if we get to see nate peterman this year i will just be the happiest boy in the world that's like all i want all i want is i want to see nate peterman get out there and just chuck the ball around maybe even break his own record could you imagine how great of a moment that would be if he threw six interceptions in the first half? Was it five? Did he throw five? I think he threw five, and I think he did it twice.
So, yeah, he is very consistent. It's so bad that you almost don't believe facts when it comes to Nate Peterman.
Like, you say five interceptions in the first half, and you say, no, wait, that can't be right. Like, my memory is obviously going here.
But no, it is exactly right. The other news we had is Jerry Jones versus Ezekiel Elliott is fully on.
Ezekiel Elliott has gone down to Cabo. He's going to hang out there and train.
And Jerry Jones said, you don't have to have a rushing champion to win a Super Bowl. Everyone on the internet dunked on Jerry Jones because when the Cowboys won their three Super Bowls, yes, that's right, they had the rushing champion in Emmitt Smith.
But I'm here to defend Jerry Jones. We make fun of him for being stuck in the 90s.
He's right. You do not need a rushing champion to win a Super Bowl in today's NFL.
So as much as we make fun of him for being like out of touch and holding on to the glories of the 90s, he actually is right here. And I think he's actually kind of like evolved enough to realize you should not pay Ezekiel Elliott way too much money.
Yeah, no, we do make fun of Jerry Jones, most notably for coming inside of shoes, masturbating into shoes, for talking about glory hole, we need the glory hole, get me some glory hole, for talking about all sorts of stuff, like circumcising the mosquito. Jerry Jones is a pretty big part of the NFL and a pretty big part of the NFL comedic community, and I will never let that go, but I think he probably is right about Ezekiel Elliott, even though I do do think you should pay him I think that he's right in the grand scheme of things like you don't need to have uh the best running back in the NFL to win a Super Bowl that's definitely true but I think Ezekiel Elliott is really really good and they should pay him I'm I'm team Zeke on this one I say go hang out go hang out in Cabo with Sammy Hagar and Guy Fieri drink your your tequila.
Get a nice little suntan. Hang out down there for a while.
I think they're going to end up paying him, actually, because Jerry Jones is the kind of guy that needs a splash on his team. And right now, his team's pretty boring.
Even Dak. Dak is a boring quarterback.
Amari Cooper is an awesome wide receiver, but he's also kind of boring. I guarantee you Jerry Jones would like Amari Cooper better if he flew into training camp

on a hot air balloon.

But here's the alternate side.

I'll say that they're going to sign him.

They will sign him, but I don't think they should.

I think they should hold firm because as it stands right now, Ezekiel Elliott has one

year left on his deal, and then he can obviously be franchised.

What is he going to do, sit out two years?

That won't happen. He can't sit out two years? That won't happen.

He can't sit out two years of football and expect to make up that money.

So I would just be like, hey, dude, come to camp, play next year,

and then maybe deal with it after that because this is one of those situations

where the teams that are successful in the NFL have a plan

and they stick to that plan.

And what you just said is exactly correct, that Jerry Jones loves a splash, but you just have to think, like, could you imagine Bill Belichick being like, well, you know what, like, let's pay him because the fans like him and we need a splash. Like, if you have a plan, you stick to the plan, and you don't deviate from it, and paying a running back an insane amount of money, pay him a good salary.
That's fine. But if you basically pay him so much money that other parts of your team can't be paid and the line can't be paid both defensive and offensive then you're just hurting yourself in the future just to confirm we're talking about like whether or not Jerry Jones has a plan I think Jerry Jones his he doesn't know I think he does have a plan it's just get drunk before noon every day and then at that point everyone's got a plan until your liver gets punched in the face, and he will just change his mind.
At some point during early August, Jerry Jones will get drunk enough that he'll say, fuck it, let's just sign him. Bring that kid up here.
Give him the football. Yeah, his plan is to just fuck it, let's have some fun.
Really what it is it is this this contract hold off out is essentially just waiting for jerry jones to get in a good mood yeah because as soon as he's in his next good mood he'll be like fuck it let's do it yeah let's do it let's get all the boys together ezekiel elliott's got he's getting some great advice wait till jerry jones gets blackout drunk at some point because he's going to make a decision and that's that's what going to get the gang back together. Slide a contract right under Jerry Jones' nose the minute before he comes in a shoe.
He'll sign that. That's one great option.
Another good one would be, so you're down in Cabo, right? That's Baja, California, I think. Right? I don't know.
I don't know anything about geography. So you're down there.
You're just south of Oxford, California. Chug half a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue.
Put a signed contract in there that says three years, $95 million. Throw it in the ocean.
Wait until it gets up to Oxford. Jerry will find it eventually.
Let's sign a kid. Let's bring this kid up here and go bring me three more glory holes.
I don't think that's how tides work think they go the other way what do you mean they go out also uh no i think that i think if you look at the title currents like i think it's going the opposite way isn't it also oxnerd is in inland right it'll get up to the la area okay and then someone jerry jones will sniff out a bottle of johnny walker blue bottle yes uh Wasn't that complicated? So should we do our Who's Back? And then we'll get to our Mount Rushmore with Tony Scheffler, which is a very fun Mount Rushmore. Hot sequel throw.
Of farm animals. Yes.
And there's a new legend that will be born out of this, a certain animal that Tony owns. By the way, Hank, remind me I have pictures of that animal.
We will tweet that out. Let's do who's back, though.
Hank, why don't you start? Or no, sorry, hot seat, cool throw. Yes, my hot seat is people who think U.S.
soccer is sexist and doesn't pay the women enough. Oh.
Because our good friend DR came out with a tweet today where he showed that U.S. soccer responded for the first time ever with what shows that they're independently audited finances that show that their women players actually earn more than the men.
Okay. So they came with the receipts.
They dropped it on the world. And they didn't really like – they could have done this in real time, I guess, but they waited.
They got their shit together, and then they came out with like a very organized structure to show that, in fact, the women are getting paid more than men. And I still am confused whether that's the case because they like muddied the water with the NSWL and all these things.
This is we have now reached the peak Internet argument where both sides have enough like pseudo facts to arm themselves to say that they are right. And still feel like anyone with a brain is sitting here saying why don't they just release all the fucking money like all the numbers and let us decide because it's so many so many weird things that have been released like well it's the the world cup pool and it's bigger but the u.s men's didn't make it and then the u.s's don't have guaranteed contract.
Just tell us exactly how much money everyone makes and then tell us the percentage that each side makes. And let's just do that.
What you just described was the internet in a nutshell in 2019, which is you're going to believe what you already believed beforehand and come hell or high water, you're going to go out there and you're going to find any fact that you can possibly come across to back up your argument. And you're going to ignore anything on the other side.
From what I read, and I could be really way off on this because I'm not a financial expert like Mark Burnell, but what I've seen is that with the women's contract, they're paid by their major league team as well as from the national team. The U.S.
SL or whatever covers all that money out of their pocket. When it comes to the men, they get a paycheck from the U.S.
national team, and then the MLS team separately pays their paycheck. And then they both get a share of World Cup appearances, but then the men didn't make the World Cup one year, so the women get more total money from the World Cup because they have another entire year that they were in

it that the guys weren't in it, and it's just very, very confusing.

I don't know what's going on.

Congratulations, Internet.

You've defeated me.

My brain doesn't understand what should be a very simple equation because I can't trust

any of you.

Yes, I can't trust.

I have no idea what the actual numbers are.

I've heard so many of them, and it feels like one of those situations where no one has a straight answer. So just give us the books.
That's what I'm going to say. Instead of the – what's the chant they were doing? I believe that we will win.
No, no, not that one. I believe that we will win.
The other one, the pay. Ole, ole, ole, ole.
No, fuck you guys. Fair pay or pay them more or something, pay them equal, something, whatever.
I just want to. We just need a chance.
Release the documents. Release the documents.
Release the documents. I've got documents right here.
I've been pouring through them. Release them.
I don't even know if that would make a difference because then the documents would get out and then the first three people that would speed read through them would write about them and proving their own point. So then would just be like an even bigger mess i say just just take away the uh united states soccer federation entirely and just have them both go on patreon or or here's here's here's a an alternate one we could have pick someone who who thinks it's unfair someone who thinks it's fair have them read the documents have them both just write a headline because let's be honest that's all we're ever going to read we're not going to read the article and then best headline wins and then whatever happens from that so if the pay them more wins headline or it's already equal headline whichever wins will then just go from there i'll headline headline.
Yeah, I agree that. Yeah.

Hank, what's your cool throne?

My cool throne is Lil Nas X.

Yeah.

So he is officially the has the longest running number one single ever.

17 weeks in a row.

No, period.

Billboard charts all time. But the country doesn't let him on him, right?

That was that was.

Oh, that's that was the beginning of this whole thing.

That was like the country things wouldn't let him on.

And then he did the remix with Billy Billy On. And then he did the remix with Billy Ray.

No, he did the remix with...

He did a bunch of remixes.

Mason Ramsey.

Dolly Parton.

So he passed Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men with a song that was called One Sweet Day, which I don't even know.

Are you serious?

With a song that was called One Sweet Day?

Yeah, there was a song called One Sweet Day.

A lot of us lost our handjob virginity to that song, Hank. Show some respect.
Boyz II Men was the best. All right, so he's got the record.
Got the record. What does that equal? Dollar figures.
A lot. I mean.
How much are we talking? Boatload? Seven figs. Truckload? I mean, definitely seven.
Houseload? Seven figs. I mean, I would hope seven figs.
Maybe eight. Here's the thing.
That's all I care about. In the streaming economy, what does Spotify pay? Like .005 cents a song, something like that, per stream? So he probably hasn't made a shitload of money off of it yet.
But the best thing that ever happened to him was when, well, off like merch and tour and stuff like that.

But the best thing that happened was when the country charts didn't let them on at the start.

Got a lot of buzz going.

So for our next single that we put out, like let's say Chunk 2 or whatever, we'll just make a big announcement at the start.

Like they won't include Sunny Digital and our collaboration on the country music charts.

And it's fucked up,

and we'll see if we can get a little extra buzz off that,

get some articles written.

Yeah, and we'll be like, yeah, it's not even a country song.

We're just wearing cowboy hats.

Exactly.

And drinking Jim Beam, so it should count.

Is that it, Hank?

That's it.

Okay, PFT, what do you got?

Well, first of all, I got some breaking news real quick.

I'm going to speak a little bit quietly.

Breaking news. Bubba's asleep.
Because Bubba's asleep right now. He's in the room.
I heard you snoring, Bubba. I heard Bubba snoring.
Hang on, wait. Bubba would like to respond.
Bubba, I heard a snore. I'm looking right at PFT right now, listening to the Zoom recording.
Were your eyes open? He wants to know if your eyes were open the whole time. Yes.
I heard a snore. I heard a snore.
Bubba's been awesome. I'm on the road right now.
I'm in Detroit, Michigan, for the debates. Interviewed John Hickenlooper.
We're interviewing Tim Ryan tomorrow. Bubba's been working very hard, and he's not asleep.
I want it to be known for the record that he was not asleep. What did the Paul say? We're also in this weird Detroit hotel room, and there's one chair.
Oh, Bubba, you've got to sing Take On Me for Friday's episode. So I'm sitting on PFT's bed.
Okay. He's sitting in a very comfortable place, so yeah.
My hot seat, I'll get into that, is the Los Angeles Clippers are on my hot seat. okay because steve balmer said that he would change the name he would consider changing the name of the team if a good one popped up so he's he's looking at this time in the history of the los angeles clippers being like the big watershed moment the big trend transformative season because they finally have some good players besides when they were lob city when they had bl Blake Griffin.
But, yeah, he's saying he'd be open to changing it if he came up with some good names or somebody hit him with one. So I say let's do it.
What better time than now? Yeah, I'm in. I'm in.
I mean, you should just call it the Los Angeles Bombers. Do you think there will ever be a team where they just name it after the owner? That would be sick.
The governor? I don't know. Probably not.
Yeah, the governor. I don't think so.
The Los Angeles Redskins. The Los Angeles governors.
I like that. Ooh, Los Angeles owners.
And then we can have a whole debate whether we're allowed to say their name or not. Yeah, the O-Words.
Or they could do what the Raptors did back in 1994 or whatever and just name your team after whatever pop culture phenomenon. The Los Angeles Lil Nas X's.
Perfect. Perfect.
The Los Angeles Vapors. Los Angeles Old Town Road.
The Los Angeles Thanos. The Los Angeles Clouds is not bad.
The Los Angeles Clouds. The Los Angeles Dabbers.
The LA Clouds would be sick. Yeah,.
Yeah, the LA clouds. The LA backwards.
The LA smog. What about the LA smog? That would be a great game.
And that's going to be like the defense. It's going to be all over you.
Yeah, that would be good. Or the LA earthquakes.
That would be good too. That'll be one of those good names until the quake actually happens.
And it's like, wow, shit. Probably shouldn't have named our team after team after a video game yeah that was stupid um all right what's your cool throne my cool throne uh is ryan fitzpatrick so ryan fitzpatrick is in the catbird seat he has been named by uh miami head coach brian flores as being the presumptive starter so he it's his job to lose the starting job in miami after six weeks which he will uh but he is leapfrogged josh rosen on the depth chart and i'm just i for one am very excited that we are we're definitely going to have fitz magic at least in september yes yes that's going to be not good for their tanking they want to uh and we've talked about it but ryan fitzpatrick is always good for a few wins out of nowhere so if you want to tank don't have ryan fitzpatrick be your quarterback but ryan flores is going for it um all right my hot seat is madden codes so madden the new madden's coming out and everyone wants their code i guess they give it to like influencers so everyone basically just goes around the internet for the next week saying yo can i get a madden code yo can i get a madden code so uh we love our awls and i have two madden codes to give out so the first one is six two five nine b g eight six so plug that in yeah i just got it next one is 0-3-9-6-5-8-G-J, as in Janine, Q-4-6-7.

Okay, Liam just got that one.

So those are our two Madden codes we just gave out to the Part of My Take listeners.

You guys can go have fun.

Dominate Madden on us. Use that code.
And give us a shout out when you put that code in and it works. Okay.
All right. My cool throne is the Mets because the Mets are being very Mets like and I love it when a team does exactly what you expect from them.
And by that, I mean having no plan whatsoever. So everyone, rightfully so, the Mets fans are saying, why are we trading for Marcus Stroman and then trading Noah Syndergaard are we going for it but not going for it and why didn't we do this last year and all these things and they all are fair questions but I love when the Mets have no plan but pretend they have a plan because that's what you can rely on so when you look at it from afar their plans working perfectly they're no plan plan is a perfect plan for the mess right they are their plan is like a hungover jerry jones as opposed to a drunk one where that that moment in the morning where you're waking up you're still kind of foggy not making any correct decisions nothing that you're saying is informed or rational.
You just are hoping to get from that point until bedtime later on that night still alive. That's how the Mets run their team.
So that is a plan. Yes, the no plan plan.
So I love what the Mets are doing. Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushmore.
We were out in Michigan on Monday, and we had our good old friend Tony Scheffler on the show. Mount Rushmore of Farm Animals.
He's actually one of the most. What was the date, Hank, that he first appeared on the show? April 22, 2016.
So that means that Tony Scheffler was probably one of the first 15 guests ever on part of my take. So shout out, Tony.
He's the best. Before we get to Tony Scheffler, if you want to watch our interview with tony sheffler and our interview with nikki bella go download barstoolgold.com slash pmt right now barstoolgold.com slash pmt you can watch all of our interviews all of our shows check it out barstoolgold.com slash pmt okay here's the mount rushmore okay time for our Rushmore, and we have a very special guest.

We alluded to it.

One of the first probably ten part of my take guests of all time,

Tony Scheffler, former Detroit Lion, former Denver Bronco,

former loser of the great Dave and Big Cat versus Tony two-on-one basketball game.

The original bro show. The original bro show.
Fat Dave, skinny cat. Times were weird.
Okay, before we do the Mount Rushmore, how many times in a month does that get mentioned to you? That video, that whole scene ruined my life, actually. So if you go to YouTube and put my name in, that's what you see first off played what seven years almost 400 000 views um eight years in the nfl here's what we have to do we have to get we have to have like an award-winning lister put together a tony shuffler actual nfl highlight tape yes just to try to get that seo back then in the middle then in the middle of the highlight tape cut to of you getting dunked on by Dave and Big Cat.
There's some highlight compilations on there. Of me, those have about 3,000, 4,000 views.
The 2-1 high-low death, slow death, 400,000 views. So now when these – I'm coaching youth softball, that sort of thing.
These youngsters, they find out their coach played – their old coach played in the NFL, and they go to the YouTube, and that's what they see. So it's been a problem.
And I've alluded to it before that I'm pretty sure it ended my career. When the Lions saw that video, it pretty much ended me.
I hurt my thumb in that game. And what people don't know is training camp was like two days later, the start of training camp.
No, no, no. It was the start of the season was two days later.
Oh, the season. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like right before Labor Day. So I went into the season with a taped-up thumb, a banged-up thumb from that game.
I jammed my thumb. You guys cheated me.
It's so deep. There's so many things that you can peel back that onion in that game.
It's scoring. In the comments we found out later on weeks later that the award winning listeners found out that I got cheated on the score.
I didn't know Dave was going to call 46 timeouts. He got out of breath.
He had to catch his breath. It's a player's safety issue.
He called a timeout. I was mid-layup.
And he's 10 feet off the play. His shoe had fallen off.
He called a timeout as the ball was in the air. A safety hazard.
Yeah, exactly. It's load management.
And we know I was up 10-6 in that game. That one bucket wins me the game.
That's good coaching. That's a great timeout call.
Now it would be a real shame if you were to get your ass kicked in a mount rushmore by us again like that to be your second biggest video i don't plan on uh getting out done today yeah this is your mouth you're on my turf we're in the backyard i mean we played the hoop game right here right across the pond here at my house and we you know we obviously are are good friends and we talk pretty much daily but every now and then like once a month you'll text me and be like i was going to a sports authority or i was getting coffee and the like shithead 17 year old behind the counter was like hey what happened against big cat and dave it's never about the ball anymore it's never about football it's never about the about the NFL career. It's always about that high-low.
How could you get high-load by those boys? I mean, Dave got hot. He was hitting jumpers.
He was. He was getting really hot.
With that two-handed push shot. I mean, the whole thing is just so good.
It's not okay that it went down like that. The best was when you went to – right when you were about to retire, you went to – I think it was like a Redskins workout.

And the kid who picked you up from the airport, you told me, like the 30-minute drive, that's all he talked about was that video.

Huge story, right?

Yeah.

Like that's when I'm coming in.

That's what they're seeing in me.

Like you guys ended my career.

I want you to know that.

And hey, every time you guys

have an interview and then something

goes bad, you know I'm the first one to jump on it.

Yes. Barstool curse.

I think I was one of the

original Barstool curses.

But you're doing well.

I'm just trying to

claw my way back.

You guys really dug a hole for me there on that video.

You're coaching. You have a cattle ranch.
Yeah. You're living a good life in Michigan.
Nice and slow, yeah. Yeah, so let's do Mount Rushmore of farm animals in honor of your cattle ranch and your farm.
We don't know what. We literally were just Googling farm animals.
Yeah, that's a bit concerning. Yeah.
Well, I mean, what are we going to do? You guys do this for a living, so you're familiar with improvising, thinking on the fly. Correct.
So I've got a set list coming from my farm that I'm real comfortable with. But if you guys scoop one of those up or two, then it might get weird.
But here's the thing. A lot of times what Hank likes to do is not necessarily use the picks that he likes the most,

but he picks picks that he knows the audience will like.

He panders to the audience.

So just letting you know that just because you like a certain animal,

you might want to take into account what would Hank's idea of a listener.

We're in a tough spot right now in our Mount Rushmore season.

That's an outrageously false claim.

That's true.

He's been triggered for like a week and a half.

Vince Khalifa.

He's been triggered for like a terrible picking on me.

No, I'm comfortable with my Mount Rushmore.

I can look myself in the eye at the end of every Mount Rushmore.

He's been triggered for a week and a half.

No, I'm not triggered at all.

I'm not triggered.

Where isn't Kirk Cousins?

No, which was a great pick.

He brought it up in the car randomly.

Still a great pick.

And then accused everyone else of bringing it up.

All right, so.

Tony, let me ask you.

You know I follow. Kirk Cousins.
Do you think he's like a perfectly average quarterback in the NFL? I'd say a step below that. Oh, step below even.
So there you go. So he's around average.
All right. So not much for farm animals.
Okay. You ready to go? I am.
I mean, I feel like if I'm the first pick, I feel like I should state the obvious right away. Okay.
Which is? We don't know what the obvious is. Which would be the goat.
Okay. Oh, yeah.
All right. I was like, is he going to say rabbit? No.
I mean, a lot of reasons. I'm thinking logically how much they eat, the reproduction, the price per pound coming from the farm.
There's a lot of variables. But the first domesticated animal on earth.
And it is the goat. It's the goat.
One, one. I mean, you know.
Who decided the goat was the goat? The goat is the goat. It's quite obvious.
I'm probably going to get some burns down in the comments for picking the goat right off the bat. No, don't worry.
No, that's the only one that worries. Everyone reads the comments.
I mean, come on. It is.
Yeah, he's the only one that worries, so you're fine. I really don't worry.
I'm comfortable. You totally don't worry.
As long as you're comfortable with your picks, it's all that matters. Don't worry.
Yeah. I figured it was going to get picked.
It's a good pick. It's the most obvious.
Yeah, yeah. Right out the gate.
It's an easy introduction to this for you guys. Yeah.
I plan on winning this thing.

But I've got a goat at the farm.

The thing is a great swimmer.

Did you guys know goats are great swimmers?

I had no idea.

So wrap your head around this.

I mean, you walk onto the farm.

You know, I got the in-ground pool in the back, right?

You walk around.

Not a big deal.

Not a big deal.

You walk around the corner there, and there's a goat swimming in the pool. What are you thinking? That's pretty cool.
Please don't shit in the pool. Right? Yeah.
Did you know goats could swim? No. They had no idea.
There you go. They're really smart.
That's good. They've got good eyes, too.
I like the shape of a goat's eyes. Don't eat a whole lot.
Baby goats are fucking fucking hilarious. Yeah, fading goats are very funny.
When they spring up,

when the baby goats

just jump straight up in the air,

that's cool, too.

So I'm going to go with a goat.

Great pick.

Take that off the list.

All right, Hank, you're up.

All right, that's a good pick.

That's a good pick.

I mean, the cow.

Yeah, the cow's a good pick.

All right.

Is it, though?

The cow's a good pick.

Oh, yeah.

What do you mean?

Stop.

No, no, no.

That provides food for your family?

Isn't that one of the most important parts of a farm is providing for your family? My kids are lactose intolerant. Oh, stop.
Didn't think about that, Hank. All right, I'll go with pigs.
I'll go with pigs. You go to a farm, you hear the pigs oinking.
Also, everyone loves pork. Everyone loves bacon.
Whoa. What? Oh.
So do you love the animal or do you love the food? Well, no. Some religions don't.
The whole thing works together. It's kind of religiously intolerant.
You can't have a – the cow doesn't do anything if it's not milk and meat. It's just milk.
You can have a cow and not kill it. Yeah, but it produces stuff.
Yeah, but vegans, dude, don't even do that. All right, pig.
All right, pig. I actually don't mind the pighead's choice.
That's a good first choice.

My first pick, I'm going to go with horses.

Okay.

Got the horses in the back.

You can ride around on them. They're just cool.

For sure, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, the first car is a noble horse.

For my second pick, I'm going to go with chickens.

Okay.

Love the cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck.

I like the sound of the wings wrestling. Love eating chicken wings.
Love eating chicken. And a rooster crow is kind of a cool sound, too.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chicken's different than a rooster, right? It's the same species.
I'm over here on pins and needles wondering the same thing. You think it's a male chicken? It's a male chicken.
It's a cock? Yeah. I don't know.
A rooster is a male. I defer to Tony.
A rooster is a male chicken. But we're talking with farm animals here.
Yes. So that's where the roosters are.
That's where the chickens are. They both exist on the farm.
A rooster may have been next on my list. So we need to get an official ruling here on that situation.
Let's split them up. Let's split them up so we have more picks.
You have chickens. Don't mean yeah you're gonna have to seriously pft it's not a big deal very upset i we know um all right two very different things though i'll go with uh what's a is it is the goat same as a sheep no absolutely all right i'll take the sheep is that a serious know, dude.
You guys have been in New York far too long. Wait, is it goat? I don't know any of these things.
A goat is a male sheep, though, right? No, I think they're different. Oh, a ram is a male sheep.
Yeah, sheep. All right, so I'm taking sheep.
Give you fucking wool. I don't know what else they do.
Yeah, just bah, bah. Hurt them.
You can hurt them. Yeah.
They have a lot of opinions about lions. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. I had sheep too.
Fuck. I'll go with the llama.
Wow. That's good.
Very fun farm animal. Yeah.
It's cool to see. That is fun.
There's spitters though. That is fun.
Okay. Spitters or quitters.
I'm going to go with. You have two.
You have two picks. Okay.
Two picks. I'm going to go with the rooster.
Okay. That was high on my list.
Good pick.

Yep.

For a lot of reasons.

First thing, moving.

Yeah, alarm clock.

Cock-a-doodle-doo, alarm clock.

All the hens.

Flashy.

Yeah.

Big, bold, beautiful.

Did you know?

Cock of the walk.

Cock of the walk.

Yes.

Rooster in the hen house. Yeah.
Closest living relative to the T-Rex. Oh, yes, I did know that.
Did we know that? Yes. The rooster.
Yes, indeed. Do you think that T-Rex has had feathers? I do.
There's a lot of controversy on that. My son is six, and he's a hardcore dino guy.
It's getting a little weird. He is of the opinion that they did have some feathers.
But scientists can't. This is good fact checking.
Scientists can't prove it. I just imagine my T-Rex is just no feathers, just bald.
It's concerning to me to imagine a T-Rex with a little waddle hanging from its neck. It's crazy to think about dinosaurs, not to get too whoa, but how we envision dinosaurs is what we see on the movies when it's like they could be totally different.

We were just in Chicago.

They had the biggest T-Rex ever found there.

Pretty impressive.

Yeah, dinosaurs could meow like cats.

That's too weird.

Okay, yeah, that is too weird.

All right, you have another pick.

So this is number three, huh?

I'm going to go with the Muscovy duck. Whoa.
Yes. Good choice.
Just an interesting looking creature, large, oversized. Quackless.
Quackless. Yeah.
A quackless duck. So, you know, living on a farm, there's noises everywhere.
So any animal you can get that's quiet is a good thing. I've got cows that are bulls that are pretty loud and yeah goats that you know so list goes on um they're tasty too yeah tasty a lot of reasons um they eat mice they're mean um all right big muscovy ducks and they have like 30 you know if you have if you let the the hens hatch out their eggs it's like a time.
That's a pretty cool thing. You see a hen walk up with 30 babies.
That's crazy. Pretty cool thing.
That is. All the ducklings? I'm going with a Scooby duck.
Okay. No specific.
Have you ever been around for the hatching of a duck and they get imprinted on you? No, I haven't. I've heard of that type of thing.
How sad is it when all the animals die? Life on the farm is pretty morbid, yeah.

But it kind of prepares you for how tough life is, I guess.

Okay, that's good.

Things die, yeah, for sure, on the farm.

Yeah, I just thought of that.

All these animals mean all these animals have to die.

At what point does a pig become a hog and you have to slaughter it?

I'm not a big pig guy.

Okay.

Shots fired. It depends if they're breeder pigs or they're they're raised to go to market uh-huh um under a year okay most of that stuff is 10 somewhere around 10 months somewhere around there all right let's not think about this too much all right uh i'll go with charlotte from charlotte's web good one greatest farm animal of all time.
Yeah. Spider.
Put the whole team on their back. Yeah.
Spider. All right.
How about, you could tell me if this is wrong, Tony, but a working dog. Working dog is a must.
Needed on a farm. Is a must.
I have not had one yet, but I've seen them in action. Herding dogs.
Herding dogs. Oh, my goodness.
Herding dogs. Or, well, no, just like a dog a dog.
You're not getting a chihuahua for a farm. You're getting a good working dog.
Or some of the labs are good dogs. Retrievers.
Mostly like Australian cattle dogs. Yeah, 100%.
Blue healers. The retrievers are good for hunting.
Cows are really dumb. Yeah.
And those dogs can whip them right around. Yeah.
Border collie. Super important.
I had border collie as my next pick, so good pick, Big Cat. Hey, thanks.
So I'm going to call an audible on this one. I'm going to go with, for my next one, a mule.
Nice mule. They're good working animals.
They're tremendous leapers. I don't know if you know that, but yeah.
My aunt owns two mules. Oh, nice.
They're very cute. Vinny and Vinny too.
Yeah, there's mule jumping competitions in West Virginia that you can go to. Okay.
Which is basically an excuse to drink moonshine and then forget about your mule. And then my last one, this might be controversial.
I'm going with bees. They're actually the most important animal that you can have.
And when they're dying at an alarming rate, then all the other plants and animals in the ecosystem, they face a rapid decline in population once the bees are gone. Okay.
My last pick, I'm going to go with an ox. Strong like an ox.
Strongest animal there is. In the history of the world.
Never seen one on a farm. Well, they are a farm animal.
I googled it. I googled farm animals and they were somewhere on that list an ox like in a different country no dude they're fucking ox they're they're stronger horses they're a horse no they're not they're like cows they're no but they're strong that's they pull carts and shit oh they do the same work as a horse they pull the they're not related to a horse no no yeah they pull the sled yeah yeah it's more common I think, over in China.
There's a lot of oxen in China. Wherever it may be, there's a farm right now that ox is like, what's up? Not in America.
Well, no. There's ox farms in America.
Is there? I'm sure you could Google it. I don't fucking know.
This is hard Mount Rushmore. Ox is just a good name, I think, for an animal.
Ox. O-X.
I had a roommate in college. He was a D-lineman.
Had a nickname Ox. That's a cool nickname.
Where do oxes live? Google, real quick. Maybe he was an old lineman.
I don't know. He didn't play a lot.
With a name like Ox, I feel like you have to have a big dick. Ooh, Russia.
That's pretty sick. There's no ox here.
No ox. Oxen.
Wait. Wait.
In Oregon Trail, you had an ox, right? Yeah, dude. And they all died fording the river.
They pulled the wagon. They're the one that pulled the wagon.
The Dales are just filled with oxen with diphtheria. It's the greatest game of all time.
It really is. And the ox was a central part of it.
All right, Hank. I'll go with the rabbit.
You just said earlier That rabbits weren't farming

You said that

Then all of my lists went away

And there's not really much else to take

I mean rabbits are cool

They just fuck all the time

Do rabbits

Probably a good pet

I was about to say something really dumb

Do rabbits lay eggs?

Yeah

That was going to be my question too

Thankfully you asked it

Idiot

No one wonders that

Absolutely not

Live birth

Thank you. do rabbits lay eggs yeah that's gonna be my question too thanks thankfully you idiot they don't right no one wonders that live birth live birth what's that how many bunnies do they squirt out at once a bunch i think yeah six seven shitload that's so weird to think that like inside of a furry rabbit there are like six other furry slimy rabbits at any given time all right you guys need to get out of this last pick barn cat that's a good pick i thought that just yeah that's good um what do they do cat scouty shout out to scouty the barn shout out scouty wherever you are uh big orange barn cat probably in the barn he's just a panther i mean he's always killing he's a killer yeah always hunting what's good out the window oh scouty's on something.
Got a pigeon in his mouth. You know, mice, rats, you name it.
He's always on the hunt. And then, you know, the house is only 300 feet away from the barn.
So the storm's rolling. Scouty's at the door.
He's looking to get inside. He can lay it down for a day or so.
He can get inside, beat the heat if he wants. He's got the best of both worlds going does he now does he respect the main house like does he when he comes in the main house does he stay maybe like in the kitchen or does he yeah he kind of lays low he goes and lays it down doesn't bother with the people he knows he's not a house cat nice so there's a difference between a house kind of barn cat i kind of like how does scouting cats barn cats does scouting if he kills a mouse or something? 100%.
He leaves them on the front porch. He's real proud of his killings.
Sometimes I'll send these guys. I'll walk out and it'll be just the head of a mouse.
He'll just drop the head right on the front porch just to let you know he's still there. He's still killing.
He's doing his job. Does anyone pet him? Oh, yeah.
Is he like getting pet? Oh, yeah. Okay.
But he's not one of those demanding cats that needs to be pet. We actually started off with two cats.
They were house cats. They got pushed outside, and Scouty drove the other one off.
He's an alpha. He drove it off? Yeah, he drove it off.
It was a hard time at our house with my daughters. Wondering what Scouty did with the other cat.
What was the other cat's name? I don't even remember at this point. That's the concussion thing coming back to that.
What was the cat's name? That's just a beta cat getting lost to the winds of history. Scouty drove off his sister into nature.
Scouty is a thug. But he's always there.
You'll be out there feeding stuff. You turn around, Scouty, on your shoulder.
I like that. He's like the eyes of the barn.
Yeah, he kind of runs the show out there. Yeah.
For sure. I like that.
That's a good last pick. Okay.
We're going to put in the Mount Rushmore specifically, we'll say barn cat, specifically Scouty. There you go.
And you'll probably win just from the Scouty pick. Scouty is a legend already.
Shout out Scouty. My kids yeah yes no wait does scouting have a tag or he does not i like he's just free range yeah uh we are moving soon and we're in it's a big discussion at the house if will scotty scouting uh try and re-home oh because that's a concern like he'll run back yeah back to his range i had did that.
I just go back to my old house. Damn.
And when we sold our house... The people that moved into the house were like, what the fuck? How far...
Yeah, we're concerned. How far away was it, hey? So we might lock him in the house for a little bit, for a week or so.
Get him ready. I don't know.
We're Googling that. We're concerned.
Maybe release a bunch of mice so he's like, oh, all the mice are here. And when the first people came to look at our house um one of the comments they left was that they loved the giant orange cat that greeted them when they went to the barn so i believe scouty had a hand and you gotta text me a picture so we can put it in the show okay yeah all right yeah scouty in his natural habitat all right tony scheffler thank you weapon that.
That's Mount Rushmore. Before we get to Nikki Bella, we're going to get right back to the show.
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Getroman.com. Okay, here she is Nikki Bella okay we now welcome on uh former champion of the world yeah now retired WWE superstar it's Nikki Bella what's up how does it feel to be retired let's start there oh gosh um you know actually I would say like the typical like it doesn't't feel any different, but it's not true.
Cause, uh, WWE having tag titles, my sister and I really wanted to go back and just, you know, start chaos with the girls that hold them. And I can't do that.
So it's been tough that way of knowing, like when you can't, like, it's not like I was able to just say, i want to retire you know my body retired me yeah so did you have to file like official paperwork because i know in baseball you have to submit things you know i've actually been pretty bummed because i haven't had like a huge retirement party yeah you need i kind of was like brie you're my twin sister like i get it you are having babies but i feel like i need it to be official and need like a party about me it's kind of selfish of her to have all those kids right in the middle of your 100 yeah yeah so um i i wanted to start at the beginning though your path to becoming a wwe superstar uh you started at soccer right was your like first love oh my gosh yes so so would you play in college so well I did 11 years competitive and then when it came a week before I was gonna sign with Arizona State University I snapped my leg in half oh Jesus and so it kind of just took me out of the game I mean well literally took me out of the game and then took out my mindset. I was like, I just don't want to heal and come back to soccer.
Um, but it was my whole life. And so a few years later I ended up playing for Grossmont college.
The coach knew who I was and knew my background. And so he let me walk on and then we went to state.
And so that's over in San Diego. And then I was going to go play in Italy.
So the women's league in the United States had already already folded and I was also going to do that while being in college that I had like my whole future set up right and it just went in different direction but um the the women's league in Italy was like blooming right and I'm Italian so they're like we'd love for you to come play over there and then all of a sudden WWE, WWE came to my door. Okay.
Wait, so one last question about soccer. Are you Messi or Ronaldo? Oh, you know, I guess I'd be a Messi.
Okay, good answer. Yeah.
We're about to kick you out. Yeah, right? I'm like, oh, you're like, that's it.
Thanks for stopping by. Bad opinions on soccer all around.
Yeah. So you got glossed over that a little bit.
So you were done with soccer and then you were like i'll give wwe a shot that's not the path that most people go through when they're like done playing soccer right i would imagine so what was that process like so my it was my twin sister brie um they i didn't grow up a wwe fan like um my brother started watching it like when i was in high school is when he got into it but no one that i was around was really like diehard wb fans and i um i remember when i worked at hooters nice never right never heard that place yep when i had my wings i didn't okay wait did you work there tiger woods no okay damn did you work there with your sister i did that's Double trouble. That's fishing with dynam dream twins we do like uh what was our tuesday we do something on tuesday oh double punch tuesday so you know you come in for lunch we give you two little punches nice yeah it was fun um but so i remember when i'd see the pay-per-views of wwe and i just wasn't there in that attitude era and kind of how they were with women it just it didn't attract me um but i was always um i always loved the entertainment industry since i've been a little girl all i ever wanted to do was act i really loved the old hollywood side of it like marilyn monroe and all those type of women um and so when brie ended up bringing wwe and she was like nicole you have to see what the women are doing i immediately went to my hooter days like wait they were doing bra panty matches like no thanks right she's like no they're really like kicking butt in the ring like you need to check it out so i like saw it and what really turned me on to wwe is not only were these women like showcasing athletic ability but they got to be these characters and like you were either the superhero the villain and you would either be in a love story and I was like this is actually really cool and we went and auditioned and tried out and then the rest is history so you're auditioning how much of your own background did you have to write into a character as you were going through the auditioning process so you know they just everyone for so long would immediately look at my sister and I'd be like they're twins like that's it so always guys are dumb we are idiots we literally look at you we're like twins twins nice fantasy like yeah right love sisters it's a weird fantasy you have to admit right i mean like guys were you a game of thrones fan yeah you all felt weird right about sir see and? Yeah.
So I felt like that my whole life when I'd hear about fantasy. When everyone was like, hey, you guys are twins.
It is very gross when you break it down. It's like, you know what my fantasy is? Like a little bit of incest.
Yeah. It's like a Coors Light commercial.
Right. And we're not even fighting for a throne, so it's messed up.
Oh, Coors Light. Those twins were cool.
Yeah. I was like was like actually that's awesome and i guess the

turn on is like whoa there's two there's two it's really just guys we're idiots at the end of the day and we're like two girls are better than one yes um no we are dumb we're definitely dumb so yeah so you you were going through the audition process and they're like we only see twins yeah so and they liked that they're like okay twins and everything in that beginning stage was just identical.

Like we dressed alike.

They wanted us to talk at the same time. And really when like Fearless Nikki took off, which is my character name, was when I finally put myself into my character fully.
I was like, you know what? I am now going to like my character ended up looking like my soccer character. Like I did the jersey and the shorts and the kicks with the socks and the snapback.

I mean, I want to wear a snapback on a field.

But when I like finally put myself into that is when like I feel like Embree was her old hippie self is when our superstars like really blossom.

Yeah.

But just the twins.

I mean, they still took us because they were looking for twins.

Right.

But goodness, for years it was like I look at her and I i'm like you're my clone yeah it was nuts so how much i always am curious is that i was a big wrestling fan in the late 90s how much do the like the superstars have a say in the character writing like what happens to your character or is it just like you have to do this you lose this match you win this one it's yeah well so when it comes like as far as characters um especially back when i started you would come up with your own ideas and you just keep pitching it and you would show them outfits you would make and they'd be like yes no now they have kind of their own character development so they may have an idea for you or you bring your own ideas um but as far as like your gear and everything, what you wear, like you decide that.

Unless there's something specific Vince wants.

Your entrance.

Yeah.

Like the things you do.

You come up with everything.

So I could wear a t-shirt.

I'd never have to take off my shirt.

If you were like, I'm the t-shirt guy.

Yeah.

That's that.

I'm the guy who wears a sweatshirt.

Kevin Owens.

I mean, he's the t-shirt guy.

He wrestles with a t-shirt on.

Exactly.

But as far as finishes, well, I mean, I wish I could write my finishes. Right.
But unfortunately, that's the man that does that. Did you ever think about leaking a script? Oh, never.
Yeah. That'd be big trouble.
Oh, my big trouble. And people have done that.
Yeah. But for me, I really fell in love with the wrestling industry.
And I have so much respect for it and i was like those kids like i would my imagination would get lost in it and creativity and i would get excited to not only be a part of the shows but to see them because i couldn't wait to see like what my fellow co-workers or people that i was fans of what they were going to create that night and then when i knew something was really good i couldn't wait to to see the fans reaction. Like, Oh, they're not even there in for a treat.
It was like really fun for me. Has there ever been a point where you as a wrestler, maybe you're a little bit in character or whatever, but you see somebody else who's so far into their character and they're just being a heel that you actually find yourself getting pissed off at that person in real life.
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
It's like, especially like when they're in with someone you love you're like don't do that to him like sister or her so even though you're like part of the show you're also you get taking in the show like like we are yeah it becomes real life yeah so what about when you kissed your sister's husband before she did oh that was like i know i mean that was real life right real life but they weren't together yet but it was like they would flirt a lot and i knew they liked it was oh no okay i think because we're all weird i don't know maybe it's it's like when that was so quick like it would be weird i think maybe it was a really big passionate kiss right but i remember even when i did they weren't was like, well, that's nothing. Like, it was like such a quick peck.
Right. Yeah.
But they were flirting for a long time. I mean, I knew they had a crush on each other.
It was, and I could even tell the kiss in the ring, me, it was like real quick and like whatever, like if I was his mom. And then him and Bree like pecked really long, like twice.
And I was like, hmm. Interesting.
Yeah. I always thought I was the better twin um is it more fun to be booed or cheered oh you know it's a good question it's a very good question good question she said i have always loved getting booed love it like there's something to make people feel that is like so empowering it's really awesome but when i did turn really good and i because i broke my neck and i had this comeback story and i was like people were like the living day wonder woman and because my character turned so inspiring that when people were chanting for me like it was like a different cheer in a way like right because they were so inspired and that felt good it wasn't like oh let's just cheer for her because she's the good guy like they were so happy that i overcame something and you felt that love and support in the cheer so i mean other than that i'd always i loved i'd embrace getting booed it was the best when you were injured i always do this with wrestlers like they get real injuries but i always think it's fake like when you had your neck brace i laugh when i see that picture but actually were injured.
But it's like doctor's orders. Does that suck? That like people are like, ah, she's just doing a work.
Yeah, right. I mean, I guess it depends the payoff.
Okay. Like I knew at the end of the day, like even the doctors would tell me, no, you won't ever get back in the ring.
I knew I was going to get back in the ring. So because showing my neck brace so much and people thinking real or fake, it ended up making it such a great superhero story.
Like I was like, when I debuted at SummerSlam, which they called me a week before, and I was like, my neck brace has been off for a month. And I had only trained for like, I actually like a week at that point or two weeks.
But when my music hit, I was like, Yeah. Were you scared getting back in the ring after all that?

Totally.

It was like, I would try not to think about it, but I will admit, what would get me in trouble is when I'd be out there, I'd forget.

Like, I thought I was untouchable, and then I'd do too much, and I'd come back, and I'm

like, oh my gosh.

Like, Nicole, you're going through this, and I would just forget all the time.

Yeah.

It's your adrenaline, you know?

Right.

You could do anything. Right.
You could lift cars can lift cars yeah so would you say is wrestling real yeah i would say wrestling's raw you know what i always say real we have predetermined finishes okay and i like to say that no different than the nba the warriors always win 100 yep right um or a boxing match yeah and i hear rumors about that oh yeah um we're like a broadway body slams you know we're a form of entertainment that you can't get anywhere else true you know we're kind of like yeah probably like you know like 10 000 backyards in america but other than that yeah right exactly yes but i think why people get so upset when you say it's fake it's because of what we we're really putting our bodies through. And the stories we're telling, you know, a lot of people's stories have a lot of their own emotions or what they're going through in them.
And so, I mean, imagine it's like someone coming up and being like, everything about you is fake, your life. So, I mean, I've been hit hard.
Right. There's nothing fake about it.
Did you ever cut yourself? No. Gosh, no.
I would not want those scars. You don't have to do want those scars yeah i see the old timers i was like oh yeah you ever get bit by a snake did i get no yeah i would i am terrified he got bit by a snake well he actually was a he put on a work he pretended to get bit by a snake so that he could get stone but jake the snake he actually brought a snake out and bit somebody on the arm right yeah i was scared they don't do that anymore i would i don't like being around when people have pet snakes i'm like no thank you because yeah yeah i'm like you can't control this wild animal yes and if it wants to strangle us it's just gonna do it correct do you know dwight howard the basketball player yeah he's in town he's got a lot of snakes so just steer clear him no watch out he keeps them on his person yeah i may have made that part up but just stay away from him.
I was like, he does have snakes. He does have snakes.
Oh yeah, he does. I don't know where he, he may or may not.
Yeah. Unconfirmed as of press time.
That's nuts. So I have a bone to pick with you because you share a Twitter account with your sister.
Oh yeah. That's kind of weird.
People hate it. That's really weird.
So this is the thing. Yeah.
It's also smart. Yeah.
Because you can blame really bad and be like, oh, it was my sister. Yeah, actually, that's a good point.
So when they were starting the whole Twitter, when Twitter was like brand new and they came to WWE and wanted us all to sign up, again, they looked at us as one person, like the twin thing, and they just did app Bella Twins. And then Twitter started to become really cool and over.
And there was already such a following that we had talked to them about, like, should we get our own now? And they're like, well, I mean, you guys have your own Instagrams. You're fine.
So Brie and I have always like breeze. I do more on Twitter.
Cause we're like, whatever you just do it. Like she's in, she doesn't even have Twitter app on her phone.
Okay. So I, we've even talked about times of changing it just to my name, but we're like, you know what? It's a brand it's branded.
And I'll see people always say it. And it, it, it does suck.
It's just weird. Like the McCordy twins, they play for the Patriots.
They do the same thing, but big cats, right. It's like, you can always blame the other person.
That's true. If they tweet something problematic and be like, Hey, it wasn't me.
Nobody knows who to point their finger at. So it's smart.
Yeah. I agree, actually.
I didn't think of it that way, but I'm definitely going to start blaming her. I emotionally tweet.
All the bad tweets are hurt. I agree, dang.
Absolutely. Have you ever sneezed around Vince McMahon? Sneezed? Yeah.
No, because he doesn't like germs? Yeah. You guys heard about that? I would know if you had sneezed around him.
Yeah. He doesn't like people who don't have control.
It's not the germs. It's they don't have control.
Of their germs? Of their body. He likes an involuntary reaction.
He gets so mad at himself when he sneezes that he just like stews and raises his blood pressure 50 points. Well, I didn't even know this.
So have you sneezed around him? Thank goodness. I have not sneezed around him.
But I do remember one time we were overseas in, was it Iraq? Or we're in afghanistan and we're doing a thing for the troops uh tribute to the troops thank you yeah you're welcome and i was eating a corn dog in front of him and he goes you're eating a corn dog and i was like yeah i mean i'm on a military base so i mean it was like not in french fries i didn't really have choices i mean maybe deli meat i don't know um he was so grossed out and he's like do you know what those are made of and i mean at the time i didn't really care i was like just hungry i mean i'm in afghanistan you know what i mean like did you went in rome yeah right did you ever get called into his office no thank goodness but i've never had a corn dog since okay never so he's anti-hot presumably, too. I just, I don't know what it is about a corn dog, but all I know is I then felt grossed out at myself that I had a corn dog.
He made you buy into his corn dog buying. I was like, maybe this stuff.
I want to say, is it the corn dogs that are always the rumors about the cockroaches? Mm-hmm. What's that? Or the cockroach legs? Or is that Snickers bars? Oh my God.
You just ruined Snickers for me.

No.

There's definitely a man Snickers to me.

God damn it.

There are cockroach legs in corn dogs?

There are some.

We might have to Google it.

But that's like a new thing.

That's like a new hippie thing is putting cricket flour into stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's not.

Making bread out of bugs.

Oh yeah.

They eat crickets.

Yeah.

I literally was in yoga class the other day.

I'm trying to get my zen on. What? Hot yoga? Hot i'm sweating getting my zen on and then there's a cricket in this hot weather or well not weather but the hot room in the room yeah i was so grossed out and people eat them now yes oh they grind them up into flour too and put them in cookies so you never know if you're eating a cookie out on the street i just am never gonna eat again how about that yeah that works um so you have started podcasting i love podcasting okay do you need any tips yeah we're kind of a big deal yeah ask us yeah number one sports podcast not to brag i know and i see your guys's .com all the time Your guys' interviews

Or articles

Go viral all the time in the wrestling world

Oh yeah yeah

And I see when you guys have talked bad about me

I personally haven't

Oh that's Robbie Fox

Thanks Robbie Fox

Bobby Clams when I see you

We'll sell him out for you

Good yeah

Oh I'll get him

Ambry Robbie

So what is the podcast

How often does it come out for you much as one of your arms good yeah easily oh i'll get them yeah yeah oh yeah ambry robbie yeah ambry so what so what is the pocket what how often does it come out every wednesday we drop a new episode and we're kind of like a variety show like a happy hour like we didn't there's so many amazing inspirational talks and there's i mean we can't do what you guys do with sports and everything like that. No, definitely not.
No one can. We're just, you know, no, of course.
You guys are two of a kind. Go on.
I sense a problem. You guys are too good looking to be podcasters.
Yeah, you should. One of you should get fat and one of you should get short.
Yeah, junk yourself up a little bit. Because nobody likes to see.
Well, we do drink on our podcast. That's the good, we're like a drinking show.
What kind? And we talk of drink yeah what kind of drink we usually pop open a bottle of something so nice no we usually do wine champagne um we actually did mocktails last week which was weird but we had a 19 year old on so we felt weird we just started to have we've only had a few guests but we usually it's just bre and i and i don't know if you guys heard of like we used we had this game show that started on youtube and it kind of went a little viral but called bella brains which is kind of the concept of are you smarter than a fifth grader okay are we smarter than the player right now well let's go so it's brie's husband daniel brian yeah he will make one of us leave the room and then he asks will ask me three questions and he asks brie and then we keep score and i'll be like name the planets or and for some reason my sister i botch a lot of stuff on that okay do you want to play bell brains right now yeah give us a question you've got yeah why don't i'll leave the room and then you know we should just actually we need it well let's us yeah one of the questions you've gotten um name the planets uranus neptune venus my very uh earnest mother just served us nine pizzas saturn who that's the that's the acrostic thing you can use to remember oh really mercury venus earth mars jupiter not earth earth's a planet oh it's a star she's right i was gonna say i don't think earth is yeah yes it is oh most definitely a planet mars dang that one was like a

few weeks ago. 100% a planet.
So here you go. This is our issue.
So this is Bella Brains every week on our podcast. Okay, I like that.
We also, Brie and I debate about something. So like our first debate we had, and I want to hear your guys'.
No. Okay.
You're anti-abortion. Was...
Is that what you just said? I don't speak at all about politics. Gun rights.
Or religion. Okay.
Is one night stands sober or drunk? Which I prefer? Which most happen drunk? No. What do you prefer? Oh, I would say drunks, because then you can last more than like 20 seconds.
Really? Yeah. But if you're too drunk, then it's whiskey.
Yeah. It's like the whiskey shooting pool with a rope.

We totally debated about it.

I would say,

I like sober.

Yeah, thank you.

High five.

I like to be in control of my body.

Me too.

So I can operate

at maximum efficiency.

If you're going to add a number,

you might as well know

if you're going to like it or not.

Yeah, I got a pleasure.

God gave me a pleasure making body

and I'd be disrespecting him

if I diluted that

with the devil's liquor. I like to be drunk because then she doesn't remember that i kept my shirt wine is jesus juice to me right yeah that's good just keep your shirt on you're the t-shirt guy t-shirt it's my brand yeah are you t-shirt guy at the pool actually no i'm not but i actually isn't it funny when people wear white t-shirts at the pool yes we see it it's okay yeah all right so i actually have to take my t-shirt off a little bit here.
And we have to ask one question that's maybe a little uncomfortable. Quickly move on from it.
You obviously were in a relationship with John Cena. He came on our podcast.
Oh, yeah. Right before you guys broke up.
Oh, no. I showed him my belly button.
And he looked at it like he wanted to fuck it. And I think it might have had something to do.
It's a deep belly button. He looked at it like, oh my God, I'm about to risk it all for this belly button.
That is deep. And then you guys broke up like a week later.
Do you blame me? It was your belly button. Yeah.
That's too bad. I'm just not deep enough.
Okay, I wrote a poem. You do poetry too, right? I love poetry.
Okay, here we go. I wrote a poem for you.
Lost in your depths I find myself yearning for more. How? Why? Horny? Your belly button.
Can I fuck it? Wow. I wrote it in John Cena's mind.
By the way that was really good. Thank you.
You're welcome. I appreciate it.
It was very creative. Did you just write a poem about how you wanted to fuck your own belly button.
I think so. I don't know how John Cena wanted to fuck my belly button.
Yeah, but through He takes masturbating

to a whole new level yeah it's like so i apologize i probably had something to do with it um it was obviously a real question it's life did it suck having it be so public oh yeah it's you know i think like being a reality star i i know what comes with that. And I'm an open book and I put everything out there.
I never expected it to be that public. Like, and just how every, like your headline almost every day, but it's stuff that's so untrue and you just get so sick of fighting for yourself because then it makes you look defensive or then people take those words of you trying to protect yourself or stick up for yourself and then that turns into another headline and what people don't realize is like there's two people hurting really bad right and then oh we know he was he was very sad i know yeah that was sad yeah it made me sad yeah he's a great guy yes really good man yeah and he loves you he loves my belly button he loves my four nipples too but we're not wants.
You have four nipples? Yeah. You guys are all on the team.
So he kind of wanted to titty fuck my... Wait, Juan, do you want to do your strap? No, no.
Your bra strap. So I got this one right here, and he wanted to titty fuck that one.
Yeah. And then this one...
This is all after the belly button. This one he wasn't impressed with so much.
People must get so turned on when I came here. He was horny.
He was horny. Is my body ready for WWE? Totally.
Okay. I think you could do great work.
Good to know. I have a serious question.
Actually, it's not that serious. But what hurts more, taking a folding chair to the back or watching your twin sister get one? Oh, gosh.
You know what it'd be? Watching Brie get one. Yeah? That would hurt more.
Can you feel her pain? I like twin stuff. I could feel her nerves like it's really weird i could feel her sadness anything emotionally i could feel have you ever had that where you like woke up one day like uh-oh brie's in trouble like twin what do they call it um it's uh yes oh my god i'm just esp i went yeah it's like not the twin bond it's the twin like connection orception can she feel that you're like having a great time right now

and laughing

probably

she'll probably text me like so

what were you doing

who were you

hanging out with

we'll get weird feelings

about each other

yeah

that was crazy

kind of got jealous

of some titties you saw

yeah

yeah it's

I don't know

it's

it's

it's a weird

weird thing

if

all the twins out there

you know what I mean

you have to be a twin to get it

I got one more twin question

oh shoot

I've had a lot of people

come at me and say

I'm wrong for this

Thank you. it's a weird weird thing if all the twins out there you know what i mean you have to be a twin to get it i got one more twin question i've had a lot of people come at me and say i'm wrong for this but at any point i have a theory that every twin they kiss at some point because they're like you look like me i look like you like we're all like kind of narcissistic like if i saw myself i'd be like give myself a little smooch really did you do that no um are you lying watching too much game of thrones okay um no i've never kissed my sister ever not once not one pack no pack no you look cute cheeks look the same my sister and i i have to admit like i could definitely see other twins out there doing it yes for sure okay male or female but Brie and I, I have to admit, like, I could definitely see other twins out there doing it.
Yes, thank you. Okay, confirmed.
Mel or female. But Bree and I, like, we even have a hard time hugging.
Like, we're like one person, but we're very different. But we're, we've always just been very tomboyish, too.
So, like, we're not, my mom used to laugh because, like, we're such huggers in PDA with, like, everyone except each other. Interesting.
She's like, you guys are so weird about about that. So I know something probably happened in my childhood.
I'll have to figure it out in therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we've never ever kissed. Yeah.
Ever. Okay.
I don't believe you, but okay. No, I swear.
I don't know. I know you swear.
I don't believe you, but it's okay. You're Italian though, right? Yeah.
You kiss every time you say hello. Yeah, before you manja.
It's weird. It's like my sister and I don seven feet we get weirded out like oh here's fish number six yeah like costa nostril not her america you know what it's like all the italian stereotypes you know what it's america they're not allowed to talk about it that's all we got anti-mexican so like italian mexican they both do it okay there you go yeah yeah not not us sorry we're the disappointing twins no matter no matter what you say big cat's not gonna believe you no i said this theory baked in for the last imagine it well it's one of those perfect theories because every twin's gonna deny it yeah and then you're always on the hunt for it i don't know i think some twins would actually be honest i think there's some if i saw myself right now i'd, I'd kiss myself.
You guys would lick each other's belly buttons. I would look at your lips.
They look awesome. 69 belly buttons with each other? Yeah.
I don't think it's ever been done before. That'd be amazing.
I just invented a new sex position. Yeah.
You could actually have like a dildo and like actually do the other belly button. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, it would be like a Chinese finger trap.
It's the opposite of doctors going at each other. Yeah, the double side or whatever they call it.
Double side belly button. It's not crazy.
I don't I don't hate the idea. I'm down for it.
New invention. You can make a lot of money.
What's the key to cutting an awesome promo? Heart having. Well, I don't mean, of course, hard having something truthful there.
Like, of course, you could always tell a story. But everyone that I've seen cut a really amazing promo they have truth in it so they either really don't like the other person and when they're hitting them below the belt like there's truth to it or they bring it or you know what not true that should say personal they make it personal that has been that is how i've done some of my best and anyone i've seen that i've enjoyed i know that it was it was personal and the other person never saw some of those words coming yeah they weren't a part of the script is it like is the wwe behind the scenes very clicky i would assume it's yeah i mean we're together a lot so you definitely like smack down you know they have their group that travels all the time there'll be clicks within there and then raw as well because i mean we're together when you're on it full time like you're with people more than your family your friends your kids i mean five days at four days a week and then when you go overseas you're 14 days straight i know it's no breaks no off season that's it you know have you ever got a script and just been like i don't want to do this shit oh my god yeah can you ever can you ever just not do it you have so i've in the beginning of my career the one thing that i regretted was i played by the rules so much because i i just i do have so much respect for my bosses but i think because being a competitive soccer player for so long like you listen to your coaches that's what made you better so i took that mentality into the wwe but what i realized is that actually held me back like i came off so vanilla at times like like it was like not that interesting because i didn't break those rules or when i cut those promos i didn't make it personal and until i started like my divas championship reign i just started making it personal and the best thing i ever heard was like apologize later and i really took Like, I would never know something so bad about someone and put that out on live TV.
But I would definitely start to go off script. And sometimes you get yelled at.
Like one time I made a Cinco de Mayo joke about Trump and I got in a lot of trouble. But I thought it was really funny.
So, and the crowd thought it was hilarious.

Right.

And I don't ever get political,

but I was Mexican and it was there.

It was like so.

Leia.

It was a leia.

And he was like getting his head shaved in the center of the ring at the time too.

So it's like, hey, we can't make fun of this guy anymore.

It was, I thought it was so funny.

But, and I, that's when I was like, okay,

I'm never going to do anything like that again.

Like nothing with politics,

but I thought, cause I did it in such a playful way. Cause I hate, I don't ever talk about politics or religion.
Because I thought I did it playfully. That was the only thing I would never touch again.
Right, right. How scary is The Undertaker? Please say scary.
Very. Okay, good.
I didn't want to be like, oh, he's such a teddy bear. No, he's, yeah, very intimidating.
Yes. I mean, he's a dead man.
Right. Right.
You know what it is? People have so much respect for him backstage. So he just, I mean, he's iconic and he's a legend.
And he's treated like that when he's backstage. Like, you wait in line to shake the Undertaker's hand.
Yeah. Good.
I'm happy to hear that. Yeah.
That makes me feel good. So you're not into politics, but there have been wrestlers that have gotten into politics.
Yeah. Kane, Jesse the Body yeah the body probably gonna be president one day you ever gonna get into politics yourself oh hell no no no no what if no what if you could be a senator no if you'd be president no you wouldn't want to be president no way i wouldn't want that job what about president of wwe well you know maybe that okay no actually i don't know if i'd want that job either for vince's job no yeah i don't know i'm sorry i don't know if i want that job i am it's you know being in that position i would enjoy being a leader but something where no one is ever gonna ground and it's gonna bring hate i don't want to be a part of that like you're in such a bad and like around bad energy all the time.
And I like being around good energy. Yeah.
I just I don't stick around people who make me feel bad or they bring bad juju in my life. I'm like, no, I'm like, you're out of here.
So I couldn't do it. I wouldn't want to do it.
Are you the most famous pair of twins? Olsen twins? Yeah, the Olsen twins. The Winklevoss twins? The who? The Facebook? Founders of Facebook? Oh, yeah.
Well, they would have found it, allegedly. If they found it Facebook, they would have found it Facebook.
They're yachters. Right.
They own a yacht. The Barbers? T and Tamara.
Who's that? You didn't know. Oh, yeah.
Come on. Tiki and Rondé Barber.
Yeah. Who else do we have? Who are the guys that used to be on the Suns sons right or one's on the sons and one's on the oh the morris twins yeah yeah they're identical yeah that's crazy they'll also fight you if you try to fuck their mom oh yeah we learned that's the hard way no i didn't but someone else did oh my gosh well yeah thing i'm not into women yeah yeah um who i mean there's i think you're up there i think mean, I do think we're up there, which is kind of cool.
I think it's Olsen just because of how long they've been around. Right.
But if you guys keep going, you might be able to take that over. I've tried to ask to compete with them in the ring for WrestleMania.
That would be awesome. That would be so cool.
Holy shit. It would be so sick.
It would be awesome. They come in like their big robes.
Yeah. Did WWE end up asking them? Probably not.
And they probably were like, what? Who? He's like, who? Are you serious? Just kidding. All right.
I got one last question. It's a SeatGeek question.
You put in promo code TAKE. You get $10 off.
SeatGeek purchase. Go to a WWE match.
SeatGeek, $10 off. How hard is Dancing with the Stars? The hardest thing I've ever done in my life harder than harder than wrestling yes no yep but you just get out there and do the cha-cha yeah i wish it was that easy that's what i thought um so being an athlete like my whole life i have trained like in soccer you train a certain way and it what i learned in soccer helped me a lot in the ring with like my footing and stuff.
Dancing is way different. Like how we hold our bodies like we're ready to fight and get hit.
They're always out. So they were trying to like retrain my muscles, which my muscles were like, no.
But not only are you trying to learn a dance and you're trying to be graceful. Like I thought I had some grace to me.
No, I'm so far off. But it was like, so you're learning.
You think 90 seconds or a minute, like, or it was like a minute 15 is like, not a lot. It is so many steps.
Right. Then you're on live TV.
Then you know, you're going to be judged. And before what you guys don't hear is like when we're on set, there's three clicks that play to the whole house.
So, you know, your music is about to start. So you better be ready.
I started to have nightmares about those three. Really? three really it was like crazy even my sister because she would come and watch me a lot she had nightmares on the three clicks because she gets so nervous for me but it was the hardest thing i've ever done what'd you finish and it was hard on my body i made it to the seventh week i think so it's a lot of dancing i got gypped i should have kept i should i had another week that's problematic we have gypsy listeners yeah so we don't want another trump episode here Jet means gypped.
I should have kept... I had another week or two.
Be careful. That's problematic.
We have gypsy listeners.

Yeah.

So we don't want another Trump episode here.

Gyp means gypsy?

Yeah.

Oh, I thought I got...

You should deal with them at the fair.

And then they're like,

ah, we stole your magic.

And now they're called gyp?

Yeah.

Ah, you have no soul.

Yeah.

Like that kind of shit.

Wow.

See, this is the type of stuff

you don't necessarily know

getting in the podcast game.

You can't say gyps.

I mean...

You can't say the G word. We know everything.
Wait, seriously. You guys are being honest.
Because I never know if you're being serious. No, no, no.
We usually are joking. You know what else I got in trouble for saying? What? Bums.
Buns? Bums. Bums.
You have to say homeless people. Yes, yes.
And I didn't know that was a bad word. That was bad.
That was problematic. Oh, my gosh.
The internet, yeah. I gosh yeah do not say it i was like why can't i say buns so no no chips no no i just said it yeah yeah yeah no you say uh you see i got jude oh my gosh what do i say now i got um i got ripped off you just left me open there For that joke That was good I got ripped off Yeah Yeah you got ripped off That sucks Yeah don't It's okay Can you guys send me a list Yeah we can get you everything I put my foot in my mouth Constantly Yeah that's okay Such an innocent way I think as long as you're not Doing it maliciously Yeah right You can't say Redskins anymore I don't know this world though Yeah Can't say what? The R words, not the Redskins.
We'll give you a whole word. So you probably don't get it to you at all.
What's the other R word? Yeah, we'll get you a sheet. No, you can't say the other R word either.
What's that? We're in a bad spot now. Disabled.
Also, a joke that I made last night that I wrote down on Big Cat's pad that he scratched out. You can't say that either, but we're not going to tell you what that was.
I have one last question. Who would you like to body slam? Just like outside of wrestling.
Name one person. Gosh.
Good question. That's really good.
Anyone in the world? There's a few people I've done business with that I'd love to body slam. I can't do to lawyer stuff, but let's get that tea.
The day the paperwork's official, they probably have a few body slams in their future. Um, I would not cross you.
No, I have a side that I get. Yeah.
I'm a fireball. Like when you cross out and it takes a little bit, which is kind of surprising.
But when you cross that. Italian temperatures go bang on a drum.
And I'm Latin and I'm Scorpio. Like I got a lot of things.
I'm all fire. November 21st.
What is Scorpio supposed to do? I'm Aquarius. What is that? Lover? Probably.
No, Scorpio's lovers. Drunk lover Who else I mean I technically actually right now A lot of people who are speaking in Alabama I like to body slam There we go We don't get political But I agree I agree with you Smash her ass through the table There's three people Yeah Could you kick her ass Totally If me and Big Cat attacked you at once.
I mean, this is the one thing I will say is...

I'm fat.

No.

Men, you guys do have a strength that like...

When I go to wrestle a guy, all of a sudden you guys...

Yeah, you feel ass.

There's something that you're like, okay, wow.

It's a different kind of strength.

It's all that sperm.

But I know...

I don't know, but some might not have it.

Yeah, some might not. It's making me feel really strong.
Right strong right but then there's but I have ways where I could kick ass yeah stamina I would be I would be out of breath and I could kick really hard yes I bet and then I would kick someone in the nuts so hard and then I'd hit him with wrestling moves yep okay and I'd probably shove my foot up their butt oh okay that's nice some people are into that though like foot people yeah but I would make it so not enjoyable and as I was doing it I probably ripped their hair pull my hair choke me daddy you want to hear a funny thing so I was at a party this was years ago I'm at a party and this guy wouldn't stop saying you can't take me down and'm like oh this dude won't shut up i literally walked up to him and i grabbed his head and flipped him over i did headlock takeover his face and everyone was like oh shit he's like oh my gosh and i was like so what hell yeah like yeah i know how to i know how to do that yeah i almost broke a guy's wrist um in a club too one time he grabbed my friend's thigh and literally my first reaction, I grabbed it. You know when you do like.
Yeah. Yeah.
I've watched Steven Spielberg. Damn it.
I didn't want to stop. You should have.
Wow. Just like bent it over.
All right. Well, we won't fuck with you.
I was going to. The last question was going to be defend yourself and then we're going to attack you.
Like spider monkey. I think you've proven that you would get the shit out of us.
Yeah. Yeah.
Everyone go listen to the Bella Twins podcast every Wednesday. Yep.
They never say the word gyp. No, we don't say bad words, but we drink a lot.
Yes. So check it out.
And see if you're smarter than us. Yes.
Thank you, Nikki. This was awesome.
This was fun. Thank you.
Appreciate it. Thanks, Nikki.
We're going to get right back to the show. The new KFC Dunkin' Bucket with juicy original recipe tenders, new mashed potato poppers, crispy fries, plus three sauces that fit right on top of the lid.
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Dunk almost anywhere with the new $7 KFC Dunkin' Bucket or get the double Dunkin' Bucket for $25. Prices and participation vary while supplies last.
Taxes, tips, and fees extra. All right, back to part of my take.
We're let's get to some segments first up we have bachelorette talk for guys that don't watch the bachelorette but uh pft i have some news for you you're not gonna like this hank spoiled the bachelorette for me how dare you hank he told me the winner on our plane and i said what the fuck dude i love this show i watch it religiously i don't watch it religiously and now my whole night's ruined i actually other thing i gotta tell you i don't remember who he told me one so he spoiled me but my brain unspoiled itself because i don't know any of the names i can't keep them straight straight. That's just your brain operating at a very high level.
It's self-preservation. You deflected the spoiling.
Hank, when you spoiled it, did you whisper it or did you say it out loud? Because you might have spoiled it for other people on the plane. I said it out loud and Big Cat reacted very loudly.
So that's definitely true. So that's with a Mount Rushmore of annoying travelers, people that spoil endings to the Bachelorette.

While eating Chick-fil-A on the flight, that's what he did.

At least he didn't masturbate like that guy who put a cloth over him and just went fucking hammer time on his penis.

PFT, so I got Chick-fil-A.

The line was wicked long.

And then by the time I got it, our plane was boarding.

And Big Cat and his pride, he was like, give me some chicken nuggets.

And I gave it to him.

And we could have boarded. And he was like, I'm not getting on there with this and fucking shoved shoved eight chicken nuggets into his face in like a minute yep yeah in order to decrease the amount of time that he was eating hot food on a plane eat it all at once correct and yeah yes i ate zero hot food on the plane hang are we confirmed that you didn't pound off while you were eating the Chick-fil-A? Yes.
Can't confirm. You did have a blanket up by your mouth for a long portion of the flight.
Chick-fil-A customer, you shouldn't be touching guy parts. That's part of the contract.
Hank and I were doing the Rain City Jacks on the plane from Detroit to New York City. All right.
Well, so it's a two-part Bachelorette episode. Yesterday was the season's the season's finale.
This is recording beforehand. I'll give you the recap from last night and then I'll tell you what I know.
Oh, it was Tennessee Jed. That's who won.
Yeah. That's who he spoiled me with.
Yeah. What the fuck, Big Cat? At the rose ceremony.
We can p*** that out. No, it's fine.
No, no. We'll p*** that out.
It's out today. Yeah, but some people don't watch right away.
Wait, we're not doing spoilers in case people have their DVR set? Yeah, what? What are you talking about? That's the fucking point of the show. At the rose ceremony, Hannah sends Pete the pilot home, leaving Tyler and Jed as the final two.
She also mentioned that Pete the pilot and her had sex four times, not two. Whoa.
So, aggressive. Well, that just means that he nutted real quick.
Yeah, so so actually that's what i thought too he must have just been holding it in for like the whole time until that point is that is that when we determine that sex has occurred by the way like once the guy nuts that's one time if so that's very sexist yeah that's true the woman has to orgasm for it to be sexed yeah or lactate i've had sex. Jed meets Hannah's parents, and they're skeptical of his career as a singer-songwriter.
They're worried he won't be able to provide for her financially. Jed tells him he will be able to support her because he recently made a jingle for a dog food commercial.
Okay. There you go.
So the winner made a dog food commercial? So it's. So it's tonight or last night, Tuesday night.

It's Tyler versus Jed.

Jed wins.

Jed wins.

We don't know what happens, though, because I guess if you're listening to the show and you watched last night, you do.

But after the show ends, they reveal that Jed wins.

But then they show what happens in the months following and whether or not they're still together.

So you guys can choose what you think if Hannah and Jed are still going strong. Are you 100% sure that they will show who wins tonight? Yes.
Is there a chance that we spoil the world? No. Okay.
No. All right.
That would have been thrilling. Yeah.
Fuck. Damn it.
So what do you guys think? You think they stayed together? Keep in mind that Jed was one of the people that had a girlfriend the whole time, and Hannah didn't know that while they were... Yeah, what the hell? These couples always stay together for life.
Right. I mean, Jed sounds like a catch.
She'll have all the puppy chow that she'll need for life. Yeah.
I think these two are going to make it. I think they stay together until it's always they do like a People magazine story about the couple.
About nine months later, they're usually living in some really nice Nashville house and they're like we love our new life and everything's been so great and we just like to slow down a little our partying days are over it's right when that comes out they'll break up within a month agreed yeah that's when you find out that she's like fucking the safety on the titans all right that's that's the last one for a while okay uh that's too bad yeah that is too bad i'm gonna miss not watching that show yeah uh all right let's do respect the biz for steven a smith let's play this clip real quick steven a smith what's up you bona fide scrub how are you i think you're wrong because lebron is the best player right there right there stop right there don't you ever call up to my show again and open up disrespecting me you don't have a right to do that you don't you don't have a right to do that mind your damn manners regardless of what you think about me you still called up to my show so you will address me as steven a or mr sm. You won't call me a bona fide scrub and then continue to talk on my damn show.
Do we understand one another? Yeah, I got you, Stephen A. All right, now speak respectfully before you throw the insults.
And then you might have a chance to get your point across. Now go ahead.
All-time clip, Stephen A. Smith.
You can can say whatever you want on his radio show but you better address him as Stephen A. or Mr.
Smith before doing that well and also credit to him he left the door open he's like now if we get into an argument and you beat me in the argument then you can call me a chump I'll take my lumps if you defeat me in an argument knowing full well that nobody on earth is physically capable of defeating Stephen A. Smith in an argument but I'd like to I'd like to make the same request of our listeners and when you call in please refer to me as either Stephen A.
or Stephen A. Smith no yeah refer to PFT as Stephen A.
and me as Mr. Smith please whenever you call in uh why is he in a sling we don't know know.
I think, I don't know if he knows. I think he's like a dog.
Somebody took him to a doctor one day because he was limping around. They put a sling on him.
He's just ignoring it. He's just seeing him in an arm sling.
I don't know what, I mean, I assume it's probably like an ass-eating experience gone wrong, knowing Stephen A. Smith.
But it's very funny just popping open Twitter and seeing a clip of him in an arm sling. I love those type of injuries.
We've got to start doing that, by the way. We need to just randomly just pick times where it's like, boom, I have a cast on my arm.
Or like, boom, PFT's got a a neck brace just spice up the visual of our show and

never give an explanation for what went wrong that's we did that at the uh at the super bowl i did a show on a neck brace when i was down there but i agree like just an unexplained injury adds a little bit of spice to it it's also possible that steven a smith injured his arm in a tragic uh cranking off accident because he's so horny all the time at all hours of the day True, true.

Maybe he has a guy on the airplane.

Look out for that.

We're going to, we're going to, we're going to, uh, big Ben ourselves and just slide on a walking boot or a sling or an, our neck brace at any point in the next like six months. We're going to do one of those shows where everyone'd be like, damn, what happened? We should do it together too.
Because then they'd be like, wow, did they get in a car accident or something? You should see the other guy. I bet you, actually, that Stephen A.
Smith is just wearing the sling to lull Max Kellerman into a false sense of security. Like, let Max smell a little bit of blood, and then he'll just take the sling off and be like, I'm fine, you dummy.
Yeah, he's like Antonio Banderas with his guitar case full of shotguns. He just whips the sling out, and he's got all these facts about LeBron that no one ever thought of he's just got an even bigger pair of pants hidden inside of his sling that he takes out and puts on then dominates him in a conversation all right let's uh we got our PMT sports biz update from Jake who's been killing it all summer let's do that real quick good morning this is Jake Marsh with the PMT sports.
Tomorrow night, you'll be getting a live slide in from a certain football color commentator on NBC. That's right, we are just one sleep away from the beginning of the NFL preseason.
It's the Broncos and the Falcons in the 2019 Hall of Fame game from Canton with Alan Criss on the call. The chief sculptor for the Hall of Fame bust is a man by the name of Blair Buswell.
Since 1983, he's made around 100 busts, ranging from players, coaches, owners, and even broadcasters. We do know that Buswell was not the man responsible for that wacky Ronaldo bust a few years back.
I mean, who knows what the heck that guy is up to right now. The MLB trade deadline is at 4 p.m.
today. Something that's always fascinated me with some of these deadlines is the player to be named later.
I'd love to see what goes on behind the scenes with these GMs, like who has the final say on what players get involved. Big Poppy, Moises, Alou, Coco, that's your PMT Sports Biz Minute, Mr.
Cat. Mr.
Commenter, back to you. Last up, we have guys on chicks.
Let's finish off the show. By the way just a reminder friday we have joe harris on the show and then monday look out for it training camp week we've already done half of our interviews we're going to get back out on the road next week so look out for where we might be next week for a couple days but we got some we got a good video that's going to be dropping a couple good videos to get you hyped for football finally being back.
And we've already done a few really, really good interviews. So get excited for training camp week next week.
Okay. I'm a relatively new listener as of the last few months.
And in that time, I've noticed my boyfriend of six years doing something strange. He brings up topics that are simply PMT takes regurgitated as if they're his own thoughts.
The thing is, he doesn't know I listen to the podcast. He never mentioned PMT by name, and I started listening on my own accord, which is why I found it so odd when his conversations were matching up with each new PMT episode.
For example, over the last two weeks, he's talked about how prolific NASA's t-shirts are, how I haven't been to Dave and Buster's in over a year, and how Blake Griffin is the GOAT. My boyfriend has also been pointing out Toyota Camrys and commenting on how many he sees.
He even started a slug bug punch war, but with Camrys and called it the Camry Crush. I think he's probably doing this because he finds your content relatable and doesn't think I'd understand the PMT references, but I have no idea how long it's been going on since I only recently started listening.
What if the last six years I thought Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Question is this.
Should I tell him I've been listening to PMT and I know where he's getting all these takes? Do I keep pretending they're his own thoughts just to give him the ego boost? Or should I start bringing up PMT topics before he does just to fuck with him? Thanks for the advice, guys. Okay.
That's a lot. I've got a theory here.
This is a tough situation that you're in. And what's even more tough is right now there are probably like a couple hundred thousand guys that are listening thinking that their girlfriend is talking about them.
And i think what you have to do you have to tell them if you're if you're the girlfriend that wrote this in you have to tell your boyfriend that way all the other listeners can keep regurgitating and stealing our takes and and being in a happy relationship and being uh very very secure in that because right now there are a lot of people sweating it out. Yes, there are a lot of egos on the line here.
So you specifically need to tell him that it was you. Everyone else, just be cool.
Play it cool. Don't do anything crazy because this has the possibility of breaking up many, many relationships.
So yeah, just be cool. Like, don't say anything.
Just let him think that he's smart. And we'll – you know what? We should give you something to maybe bring up to him.
That's how you can tell him. So, tell him we think – tell him, hey, honey, I've been thinking, and I think Nate Peterman's going to have a breakout season for the Raiders this year.
So say that exact line to him, and he'll know when he gets to this point.

Boom, busted.

That's exactly who you got, yeah.

This is actually, in a weird way, the 2019 plot of If You Like Pina Coladas.

Just two people don't know that the other person is doing the exact same thing.

You meet like ships in the night crashing into each other.

Things will be great. That song ends well.
Caught in the rain. Yep.
You meet ships in the night crashing into each other.

Things will be great.

That song ends well.

Caught in the rain.

Yep.

All right.

Hank, next one.

All right.

There's a lot of dog questions.

I'm going to rifle through a few of these.

Sup, Dilfcat, Rockin', PFT, and Hank.

My new boyfriend doesn't like dogs.

When should I end it with him?

Yesterday.

Well, he might be really into Scoutouty he just might be a huge

scouty fan and if that's the case it's cool uh but yeah if scouty though scouty's not a cat scouty's a dog cat hybrid it's it's cat dog he's wasn't a show on nickelodeon like that's you can't consider scouty to be a full cat because he's just too cool for it scouty's like a lion that got shrank by Rick Moranis in some weird movie.

Yeah, I agree.

Like, Scouty is like a lion that got shrank by Rick Moranis in some weird movie. Yeah, I agree.
Scouty is not a house cat, but I agree with Big Cat. If you just hate dogs, that is the biggest red flag there is.
I would rather date a serial killer than somebody that didn't like my dog. Mm-hmm.
Sup, boys. My friend met a guy on Tinder, and the group chat thinks she shouldn't do a second date.
Conversation started with him sending dog memes, totally normal and chill. So chill.
On their first date, they went to a place you can bring dogs and he would drift out of the conversation to point out dogs around them. He continued to only text about dogs since then and uses a puppy talk voice in his messages.
At one point, he sent her listings for listings for puppies up for adoption then he asked her for a second date if she wanted to go to a dog park this man does not have a dog this is too weird right i think he is a dog i think it's one of those freaky friday things because if he just keeps looking at every other dog that comes in the dog bar and being like we need to go to a dog park i got a lot of energy i gotta get out this guy is a dog just throw a tennis ball somewhere yes somewhere is a dog walking around with this guy's brain in it because they got electrocuted while holding hands use a dog whistle and see if he reacts see if he covers up his ears yeah or just get a dog and become goals on instagram this also sounds like one of the gram this also sounds like one of the things that uh the listeners try to fool us on from time to time where they send us something that's just a plot of a movie or tv show that we haven't seen yet and they frame it as their own question so i'm a little bit woke on this one i'm not sure if dog boy the dogless dog boy is real here's an idea if you are a female listener and you think you're going to break up with your boyfriend soon get him to get a puppy so that you get at least a few good gram pictures from it don't get attached to the puppy then break up with both of them yeah but if you're the guy then you can do you this is your only opportunity you'll ever have to do a fake pregnancy scare just tell your girlfriend that your dog's pregnant and there'll be more puppies coming.

But that's better for the gram.

Yeah, better for the gram so she'll stick around.

Okay, but puppies can't get pregnant, can they?

I don't know the age.

Let's go to the next question.

I don't want to think about that.

Alan Dershowitz probably thinks it.

No, he's written several op-eds.

Well, I mean, in dog years, yeah,

Alan Dershowitz thinks that you should be able to have sex with a dog once it's two years and one month old. Constitutional right.
Yeah, constitutionally, when our forefathers, when Thomas Jefferson sat down quill in hand, he was like, Congress shall make no law abridging the right of a man to copulate with a canine prior to the age of two years alan dershowitz asked the very

important question is are bestiality laws a little outdated in today's society well he wasn't asking

the question he was saying that many people have asked the question and not that he's advocating

for it including his friend who's a who's currently arrested for uh a pedophile ring

many people have been asked it was so funny the way he framed it because he was like uh

I'm going to go for this, but I couldn't help but notice the Constitution allows you to have sex with a 15 year old. Like, he literally helped notice that if one wanted to, that kind of should be in there.
Alan Dershowitz literally did the asking for a friend thing except it was a whole article seeing if you should be able to have sex with minors just asking for a friend named jeffrey epstein fucking scumbag piece of shit all right go ahead hank hey guys especially dad cat oh last weekend my boyfriend and i came back to my apartment after a night out we were both pretty drunk and started doing what drunk couples do i started s-ing his d but while doing so my drunkenness i'm fucking hot right now while doing so my drunk that was hot that was hot all right keep keep okay oh oh no oh no wait read the first part again so i can remember that hey guys especially Yeah. Last weekend, my boyfriend and I came back to my apartment after a night out.

We were both pretty drunk and started doing what drunk couples do.

Watch Netflix and pass out. I started sucking his dick.

Yes.

But while doing so, my drunkenness got the best of me, and I threw up all over my boyfriend's dick and stomach.

No!

I laughed hysterically while he freaked out.

Days later, he is still upset about it.

I don't think it's that serious. How do I make it up to him? That's kind of the deal with the devil that you make when you're getting your...
When the S and of the D is going on, anything can happen at that point because you're at the top of the line right now. So if you get stabbed, if you get thrown up on, at that point, it's just like, you know what? I was getting was getting my ds at the time so it's not that bad i think he just has to puke in your vagina and then call you know an eye for an eye kind of thing like eye for an eye doesn't really work but it does in this situation talk about how your boyfriend should react to your past sex life when they ask what do you think matters or doesn't uh the the real answer is don't ever fucking ask you idiots both sides yeah that's the that is the quickest way to get into a fight that no one will ever win and that will just give like a heavy feel of resentment in the relationship.
If you say, what's your number? Or, hey, that guy, did you used to fuck him? Or, hey, that girl, oh, I bet you fucked her. You're an idiot.
Don't ever do that. Yeah, I would say the correct response when you're hearing about your partner's sexual past is just putting your fingers inside of your ears and just saying, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la we are very sex positive either that or just like write in opinion piece in the wall street journal about how you feel yeah we're sex positive so uh no sex shaming but it's one of those things where uh every really every conversation that has started along that path like no no go ahead tell me i won't be upset and it's always upset so just know you're not different than anyone else don't fucking ask and just pretend it didn't exist and move on with your life or just say something like like give them a number that's astronomically high and then back it down to what the real number well for i think women usually go like 50 of what it is so start out at 5,000 and then say, okay, gotcha.

You're not that worried now because it's much less.

It's like 50.

Yeah.

All right.

That's our show.

We'll see everyone on Friday.

Joe Harris, very good interview with him coming up.

And then training camp week.

Football is back.

Love you guys So long and long Today's a long time

I'm sad to know

I'm sad to know

I'm sad to know

I'm sad to know

I'm sad to know Thank you. I make it all true for you.

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.