Comedians Cody Ko and Noel Miller, Mt Rushmore of YouTube Videos and Jimbos

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have Cody Koe and Noel Miller. If you don't know who those guys are, they are very, very funny.
They are a comedy duo that does YouTube videos.

Speaker 1 Think similar to Jimmy Tatro, who's one of our favorite guests we had a couple months ago. They actually work with him on in some stuff.

Speaker 1 So an interesting, a little bit of a different mid-July interview with those two guys. Because of that, we have Mount Rushmore of YouTube videos, Fire Fest of the Week, and the return of Jimbos.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 3 Before we get to all that, when cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 3 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Boy!

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the solid work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the song.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Put in code BarStool and you get $5 for free and $5 to ASPCA.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, July 26th, and I just want to start this show with the same enthusiasm and energy that Steve Ballmer had at the Kawhi Leonard and Paul George press conference. Wow!

Speaker 1 I'm just fired up to be here today. It's pretty cool.
Pretty damn cool.

Speaker 1 Woo! I love that guy. He is Howard Dean as an NFL or as an NBA governor.
I almost used the O-word right there.

Speaker 1 It was great. Like watching him at the introductory press conference, he just like explodes with energy.
He's got like, it strikes me as a guy that has like a taser hooked up to his genitals.

Speaker 1 Every time his heart rate increases beyond like 70 beats per minute, just keeps him going until he passes out. He is so much fun.

Speaker 1 We predicted, I mean, it wasn't like a big prediction because everyone saw this coming, but the Kawhi Leonard robot mixed with Steve Ballmer's over-the-top insane, insane energy is a match made in heaven.

Speaker 1 It's Jay and Silent Bob. Yeah, pretty much.
I need Kawhi to show up for games in like a black leather duster. Yeah, and then Steve Ballmer just going absolutely insane.

Speaker 1 And on top of all of that, credit to Steve Ballmer. There's definitely like an owner cool that

Speaker 1 fuck that out. There's definitely a governor cool

Speaker 1 that happens when a guy, you know, because a lot of these guys made their money either, you know, being nerds or whatever it may be. They buy a team.
There's a lot of money in being a nerd.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there is. There's a shitload of money being here.
Darren Revelle will tell you every fucking day on his Instagram story.

Speaker 1 So they buy a team. The first few years, they're still themselves.
Then they get a little cool. Mark Cuban.

Speaker 1 Remember when Mark Cuban used to go to Mavericks games with baggy, terrible jeans and Maverick football jerseys?

Speaker 1 That look? Yep. Steve Ballmer, credit to him.

Speaker 1 He still looks like he is ready to present the new update to Clippy in Microsoft 98 with his blue button-down shirt, khakis, and sweating through all of it.

Speaker 1 He definitely still works on slideshows in his spare time, even though he has like a million people that work for him that all do slideshows.

Speaker 1 He is still like, his home screen is like the PowerPoint website to make sure there's no upgrades for him. But you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 He hasn't gotten too cool. No, he's not too cool.
I hope he never, ever gets too cool. I'm nervous.

Speaker 1 I can't wait for the Clippers to make a deep run in the playoffs to see how Ballmer talks about the officiating in between games if he gets screwed. He'll cry.
He'll cry. Oh, he will just cry.

Speaker 1 Guess what, Adam Silver? You can't find a man for crying. No, you can't.
As a matter of fact, that's the last thing Adam Silver would ever do because he is on a full war against toxic masculinity.

Speaker 1 And mental health is a big issue. Hashtag let Ballmer cry.

Speaker 1 I can just imagine it. Yeah, he wouldn't have any coherent statement to make.

Speaker 1 He would just get in front of the mic, start to talk, and then just start bawling and sweating and saying how much he loves the guys and how they work. That clip was work, work, work, work.

Speaker 1 He can't not give a Microsoft presentation from the late 90s and everything he does. And he's got a great nerd body type, too.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you've noticed this about Steve Ballmer, but it looks like he wears a large from the shoulders to the bottom of the nipples.

Speaker 1 Like his thorax is a large, and then everything else below that is like a double XL.

Speaker 1 And he wears these polo shirts that look like they were at one time full button-ups that he just had him together and got rid of the bottom buttons. I love them.
I love them. I love them.

Speaker 1 So that was fun. We also have training camp stories.
By the way, if you want to watch our video or watch our show,

Speaker 1 I forgot to mention it on last show, but Barstool Gold is the best deal out there. BarstoolGold.com slash PMT.
You get the Rough and Rowdies for free. You get everything.

Speaker 1 You can watch every single episode of Part of My Take. You can watch all of our interviews.
We have our training camp tour coming up. So you're going to want to get Barstool Gold.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I see these football guys. That's right.
It's going to be great content. Sometimes I wonder how many people that listen to Part of My Take have no idea what we look like whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Because there's got to be a percentage of our audience out there, right? Yeah. That just doesn't know.
You probably are for the best not knowing sometimes, but I'll say this. Today, we look good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We look really good.
A lot of swag in this. Yeah, you're rocking the Hawaiian polo.
I'm rocking a collar shirt. Which is always first time.

Speaker 1 Whenever you have a collar on, Hank and I both are like, you got got court today? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 What do you got? I live a life of leisure. How many of those shirts did you buy? A lot.

Speaker 1 Double digits. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's my style. I'm just kidding.
Listen, when you're overweight, you have a choice. And the choice is lose weight or wear designs and patterns that shield your man tits.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like you're neglecting the latter?

Speaker 4 Do you feel like you're neglecting the shirts that you used to wear before you?

Speaker 1 No, no, this is more of a summer thing. I mean, this is a seasonal.
I'm not going to wear this in fucking January. You look like

Speaker 1 a senator at a Jimmy Buffett concert. That's exactly the vibe I'm going for.
I want to be the guy.

Speaker 1 Like, if you see me, you're like, hey, that guy could either, you know, go have a margarita or smoke some really shitty wheat. Exactly.
That's a perfect image for you. That is accomplished.

Speaker 1 I think I've just peaked as a human being. All right, so training camp.
Yes. We have the classic training camp.
What outfit slash vehicle do people come in? Jalen Ramsey came in a Brinks truck. Yes.

Speaker 1 The Packers are riding their bikes like they do every summer. You've got Matt

Speaker 1 Patricia. Oh, it's so cute.
It's so cute. Matt Patricia is crushing the arrival game this year.
He's got a motorized golf cart.

Speaker 1 You know, half the division of the NFC North, it's becoming the division of carts. You've got LeFleur, who's out there driving his golf cart around with the Achilles injury.

Speaker 1 What if Matt Patricia hurt?

Speaker 1 It's just a constant state of like, I don't feel great for Matt Patricia. Like, I just saw it.
Wait, he feels hurt? It feels like a bowling injury.

Speaker 1 He strikes me as a guy that at one point dropped a bowling ball on his foot this offseason. Didn't want to make a big fuss out of it.
But he's showing up in a cart.

Speaker 1 I want as many coaches as possible in that division to be driving around in golf carts. Put like little balloons on them so it's like Mario Kart.
If you get hit by an errant pass, it pops one.

Speaker 1 If you hit him three times, practice is over.

Speaker 1 We had Tariq Cohen came in one of those very unsafe, like weird cars, the Roadster, where there's two seats and it's three wheels. Three wheelers? Scares the fuck out of me.
Yeah, I don't like that.

Speaker 1 Get rid of that. I don't like that.
I mean, it's probably more stable than a motorcycle. Big Finn was driving those for years.
True, true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Tariqi, yeah, when you see a person driving one of those things, you just think, like, okay, nobody has ever resold one of those cars. You just total it.
Right. You just drive it till it's done.

Speaker 1 Yeah, please, please get rid of that. And then we have a lot of-metaphor for running back's career now that I'm sure about it.
It's actually a perfect metaphor.

Speaker 1 We have injuries and then also suspensions.

Speaker 1 Taylor Luan from the Tennessee Titans, he got popped for PEDs. Seems like he might be innocent, so we'll just say we have his back.
Yeah, we got his back. We got your back, man.

Speaker 1 He said that he took a polygraph, too. So he's prepared to turn those over.
I'm sure Goodell will take that too. Those are always 100%.

Speaker 1 He's pulling the OJ defense. Right.
He'll spend the rest of his life looking for the real pisser. Correct.
So you got it.

Speaker 1 We will also wake up every morning looking for it. We got your back.

Speaker 1 Also, Ezekiel Elliott holding out. He was not on the plane to go out to, are they in Oxnard, Oxford, California?

Speaker 1 So he did not get on the plane. We got plane watch, but there's a good chance that his Eagle might just be on a no-fly list given his past indiscretions.
Don't want him touching stewardesses.

Speaker 4 Mitchell showed up carrying a cooler.

Speaker 1 Mitchell did. He did.
Okay, that works. I like that.
I like the old school. Did he like pack a lunch or something? Well, no,

Speaker 1 it depends because there's some teams that have sold out on training camp and it's the worst where they basically just do it at their practice facility and then everyone gets to go home.

Speaker 1 The old school, like the Bears still do it on a college campus, so you guys, you get guys like these 300 pound linemen walking in with toilet paper and fans. Yeah, that's awesome.
That's the best.

Speaker 1 That's training camp. It's just they're just like us Yeah, the pictures I think you posted one of Kyle long walking out There was the old picture of Charlie Whitehurst, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, or no, no Kyle Orton Kyle Orton carrying a guitar with a lens

Speaker 1 It's like that picture they got when they who'd they catch it was like Danzig walking out from a store carrying a big bag of kitty litter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's always funny to see like these legends just these millionaires like us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's millionaires like oh, I need to bring my playstation and uh a bunch of you know like a bunch of like diet cokes yeah and they're like yep first day of school so he brought he was it a night schooler at least or was it like a classic coleman yeti oh yeti that's a little so that was to be an ad deal yeti seems like that's a classic gift for a quarterback to give his offensive lineman true yeti doesn't need to like pay people for ads oh like they're like one of those they're above it i'd like to get to that they're the opposite of red bull yeah that's that's when you know you made it when you could no red bull doesn't either either.

Speaker 1 They just give people Red Bull. Right.
And they're like, well, you just, you have a shitload of followers. Will you just tweet it out?

Speaker 1 Well, they're just like, Dana Holgerson's still alive, and he's just a walking advertisement for us, so we don't need to pay anybody.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I think about that guy. Coach Dana, I think about him all the time.

Speaker 4 Yeah, best friend.

Speaker 1 I was watching Get Up this morning, as is Protocol in my household. Okay.
And Greenie was on there, and Greenie was lighting it up, as usual. He had Booger giving their training camp takes.

Speaker 1 And I'll just say, like, seeing the footage of the players out on the field with greenie reacting to it and booger reacting to it my tea levels are at an all-time high i am so ready like we got real football news going on right now i was watching that and then i opened twitter and then greeny retweeted his wife who is on an airplane watching greenie on get up nice relationship goals human centipede of greenies yes just where you want to be exactly you like you're having that's nirvana i want to be at the end of that centipede because they eat very clean they're very healthy people um all right should we do fire fest should we do our fire fest Oh, one more point.

Speaker 4 I thought we weren't doing it because of Jimbos.

Speaker 1 No, we're doing

Speaker 1 Firefest is not in place of Jimbos. We'll kick Jimbos in at the end.
Jimbos are the end.

Speaker 4 Isn't a Fire Fest essentially just a Jimbo?

Speaker 1 Well, that's the people who are doing it. Well, yeah, we'll do our Fire Fest now.
It's their Jimbos. But I wanted to address big controversy brewing at Giants training camp already.
Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Fans are chanting for Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 And who can blame them? This guy is a walking bundle of energy. He's the future of the franchise.
I think we're all behind Daniel Jones. That's fucked up.

Speaker 1 You know what? That actually might be a plant from Archie to motivate Eli. That's not a

Speaker 1 bad idea. Just rattle that cage.
I was actually, this is going to be bad news for Daniel Jones if he does get the starting job just because of Archie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because the big cash cow they've got, it's going to be tough to believably market game-worn fake Eli Manning merchandise if he's the backup quarterback. Yeah.
No, they'll find a way.

Speaker 1 I'm sure they'll find a way. Just get him in for spot duty at the end so that they can sell those fucking badges.

Speaker 1 They'll get him in for what? Yeah, or maybe get him in for a Wildcat play.

Speaker 1 He's out wide.

Speaker 1 I'll say this. Eli Manning would be an excellent Wildcat quarterback where your job is to just stand up and look like your mom lost you at the mall.
Yeah, and get one yard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's exactly what a Wildcat quarterback needs to do.

Speaker 1 All right, before we get to Firefest, a quick word from,

Speaker 1 this is kind of funny. We were talking about PEDs.

Speaker 1 The boys. It's an Amazon TV series.
Ah. Yeah.
So superheroes. Everybody loves them.
They swoop out of the sky and save the day.

Speaker 1 They give you that warm, cozy feeling that everything will be all right. But what if superheroes weren't all they seemed?

Speaker 1 What if superheroes embrace the darker side of their massive celebrity and fame, abusing their abilities and manipulating the public, recklessly vain, ego-driven, image-obsessed, and all on a quest to gain limitless power?

Speaker 1 Who would stop them? That's where the boys come in. A ragtag group of vigilantes.

Speaker 1 The boys are out to save the world from from the good guys they're not doing this from the goodness of their hearts they've got bones to pick with the soups they're ready to expose the truth and they're willing to fight dirty to get the job done our heroes have no idea what's coming for them based on the best-selling graphic novel the amazon original series the boys premieres july 26th only on amazon prime video so check that out july 26th firefest hank and then we'll do our mount rush more

Speaker 4 uh all right i have a few the first one is that i thought we weren't doing firefest Firefest.

Speaker 4 Thankfully, my life is a Firefest. So

Speaker 4 I am moving next week.

Speaker 4 Originally, the place that I moved into.

Speaker 4 No, they told me that I could move in.

Speaker 4 I can move in. No, I don't need that.
Well, I do need movers, but that's not the issue.

Speaker 1 He'll buy some pizza in case they're in the middle of the building.

Speaker 4 They told me that I can move in like July 29th, and my lease ends July 31st. So I was like, that's the plan.

Speaker 4 Then yesterday, my building told me that the person who owns the building has a friend living there, so I can't move until August 1st.

Speaker 4 But my building currently is telling me I have to be out July 1st.

Speaker 1 After U-Haulston,

Speaker 1 I've

Speaker 4 just packed everything up.

Speaker 1 You have to move out at 11.30 at night and then drive over and move in at 12.30 in the morning. You get a truck, you put everything in there, and then you just park it overnight.
I've had to do it.

Speaker 1 It sucks.

Speaker 1 It's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible.
It is terrible, but that's what you're going to have to do.

Speaker 1 You just put it all in a U-Haul and then park it somewhere safe for the night and then move in the next day. It fucking sucks.
I've done it. Just sleep in your truck, too.
Sorry, moving camp out.

Speaker 4 Because I'm just going to have to do it.

Speaker 1 A moving company might be able to handle that. They probably deal with that stuff all the time.
So, yeah, they might be able to do it.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, figuring that out is my fire fest.

Speaker 1 Do you have enough for a moving company? That's not a mean. I hope that didn't.
Are you talking about money? No, no, no, no, no,

Speaker 1 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, possessions. No, like, Hank's possessions.
Oh, how many possessions do you have?

Speaker 4 I have gained some cabinets.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Like, heavy installations. You should install

Speaker 1 acquired cabinets.

Speaker 4 I've acquired cabinets.

Speaker 1 Whoa. So the place

Speaker 1 of a chip. One was pre-built and one I put together.
The prefab? The place you're moving into doesn't have a cabinet in the kitchen?

Speaker 4 No, like clothing cabinets.

Speaker 1 Oh. Oh, dressers.
Dressers. Okay, yeah, no,

Speaker 1 an armois. Bureau.
To put

Speaker 1 your body plates in. Your shirts.
So, so, how many? Two of them? What else?

Speaker 4 TVs. Got multiple TVs.
No big deal.

Speaker 1 No big deal. A lot of clothes.
A couch? It's mostly for the t-shirts, being honest, because the amount of t-shirts that you acquire working at this job, it's astronomical.

Speaker 1 But my point is, he doesn't have...

Speaker 1 Correct me if I'm wrong. It's not like you're moving

Speaker 1 a big dining room table and a huge sectional couch. You might be able to.
I don't know. You might be able to life hack this thing.
We'll talk off there.

Speaker 1 This is exactly why I never plan on moving, even though I don't really like New York that much. I just, I hate moving more than I hate moving.
This is also the first time a year ago?

Speaker 1 I moved two years ago. Oh, okay.
This is the first time in my life. And my landlord keeps raising the rent, and I'm like, rents damn high.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess I'll have to stick around because I'd rather not move.

Speaker 4 When I moved here, I literally put my stuff in the back of Big Hat's car because I was moving into a loft. So I had like a small car's worth of stuff, and then I borrowed your car to move last time.

Speaker 1 I've never moved for real. Small? It's a compact SUV, but it's still, it's a little bigger than it.
It sounds small. Sounds like an average SUV.

Speaker 1 No, it's small. It's fucking small.
Two at a Corolla of SUV. Dude, the compact SUV world is such a, it's fraud city.
Yeah, because it's just a car.

Speaker 1 And then you have like, you actually don't have as much trunk room as you would in a normal car. You put a dog in it, and it's too much, and it's already crowded.

Speaker 1 You get to feel just like a little bit taller than everybody else driving around. That's basically what you get.
All right, any others? No, that's it. Okay, PFC, what do you got?

Speaker 1 Okay, my fire fest of the week is I agreed three months ago to play in a rugby tournament next weekend, and I forgot about it until like last week, and then people started making travel arrangements.

Speaker 1 And I haven't played rugby in about three years, and I haven't really kept my body, how do you say, in shape over those three years. And I've got two shoulders that need surgery that I forgot about.

Speaker 1 And if I come back the Monday after this tournament with no broken bones, that will be a tremendous success.

Speaker 1 I'm putting you on pre-alert for

Speaker 1 handicap PFT. Just don't go.
We've talked about this. You said you already paid for the house that you guys rented.
That means you can more so don't go by saying, Hey guys, I'll still pay for it.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite spot to be in when I when I cancel like a bachelor party, and I'm like, Well, I already paid, so you guys can't even be mad at me.

Speaker 1 So, the thing is, I know I told you that I had paid. I

Speaker 1 plan on paying. So, pay and don't go.
I haven't paid

Speaker 1 your own penalty fee, but I will be paying for it. Yeah, I'm just it's gonna be bad.
And it is a rugby tournament like this is like a fire fest because it's in a tiny town.

Speaker 1 There's gonna be like tents and weird hotels set up that normally don't accommodate a lot of people. There'll be shitty meals out at the field.

Speaker 1 I just. Sounds awesome.
My game plan is maybe play for the first 20 minutes, fake an injury, and then a nice move is you get too drunk on accident. Yep.
Oh, I had too many beers, so I can't play.

Speaker 1 And then you just sit on the sidelines the rest of the time. Yeah, or just don't even play.
Just get too drunk. Skip the fake injury.
I'll just stay drunk just

Speaker 1 show up hammered. Yeah, my liver.

Speaker 1 My liver is hurt. Yeah, I'm throwing up.
It must be allergies.

Speaker 1 You got any others? No, that's a pretty big thing. That's a big big one.
Yeah, another one. I am going to go, and I'm probably not going to like it.
I'm not going to be a stupid part.

Speaker 1 All right, my Fire Fest is, since we're like halfway through the summer, I got my email for my pickup basketball game that runs in the fall and the spring and see who's in.

Speaker 1 And I think it's a joke, but the guy who's running it said we're going to bring back shirts and skins. Okay, I like it.
I think it's a joke.

Speaker 1 You just have to get there early enough to make sure you're on shirts every time. I don't think I can play at the shirts and skins.
You think it's a joke. So there's always an outlet for that.

Speaker 1 Like sometimes when I've played shirts and skins, you get the guy that's wearing the white tank top, the wife beater. No, that can't account.

Speaker 1 No, you have to go shirts and skins if it's shirts and skins. What if we get you one of those t-shirts that's just like a naked lady's body

Speaker 1 in your skin type? Dude,

Speaker 1 that is the worst. It's a joke.
It's got to be a joke. But it is a fire effect because I'm actually sitting here saying I cannot play basketball anymore if it's shirts and skins.
Here's what you do.

Speaker 1 You offer very generously to buy jerseys for the entire league. Dude, or the thing I've thrown out every time is, why doesn't everyone bring a dark shirt and a light shirt? You can do that.

Speaker 1 And it's easy. But everyone's like, ah, maybe we'll go back to shirts and skip these.

Speaker 1 But if you get like a sick design for a jersey, then you can just show up and be like, hey, but then I have to go back to a jersey. And you know you'd lose it.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Every Saturday morning, I'd wake up just furiously looking for my jersey that I can't find because I don't know where I put it because I never put it in the same spot.

Speaker 1 And then yeah, everybody else has to remember their jersey. Yes, no chance.
All right. Should we do our Mount Rushmore? Hank, you ready?

Speaker 1 All right, so this is the Mount Rushmore of YouTube videos in honor of having Cody Ko and Noel Miller on the show. Their interview's coming up.
They're two really, really funny comedians,

Speaker 1 tubers. So we thought it'd be a perfect time to do that.
I can't believe we haven't done this. This seems like a no-brainer one that we just missed.

Speaker 1 I think at one point we did Mount Rushmore of early internet videos, which is a little bit different than YouTube videos. Yeah.
Well, you know what? We're at the point now where if we repeat.

Speaker 4 We also,

Speaker 4 we're definitely going to do Mount Rushmore of Mount Rushmore's again. Yes.
Enough time has passed.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 A lot of people don't know that we did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with SVP.

Speaker 1 And Stanford Steve. Shout out to Stanford Steve.
Okay, Hank, you have the first pick. All right.
First pick.

Speaker 4 I mean, again, this is all like personal stuff, obviously, but the first video that I watched over and over again know all the words for unforgivable.

Speaker 1 Unforgivable. Unforgivable.
Yeah, I remember that guy.

Speaker 1 Number one. It's just unforgivable.
Yeah, I remember that guy. Okay.
Okay. Good picking.
We'll try to, by the way, we'll try to slip in a few clips from some of these videos into the audio here.

Speaker 1 Regional bagger pants. So I got

Speaker 1 my first pick.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of fucking good videos out there.

Speaker 1 I'll go with

Speaker 1 a classic.

Speaker 1 I'll go with Boom Goes of Dialogue.

Speaker 5 Let's check out the highlights.

Speaker 5 Steven Jackson's David.

Speaker 5 Reggie Miller's looking good. He shoots a three,

Speaker 5 and it's good.

Speaker 5 Later, he gets the rebound, passes it to the man, shoots it, and boom goes the dynamite.

Speaker 1 Is that yours? That's mine. Well, that would have been a good pick, BFT.
I know. Boom goes the dynamite, my first pick.
This is what happened last time. Now I'm playing on tilt.

Speaker 1 I've got to substitute. Get yourself back together.
I've got to substitute. Okay.
I'm going to go with.

Speaker 1 This is a classic one. Okay.

Speaker 1 I hope. I'm just going to go with Never Gonna Give You Up, the Rick Roll, the Rick Astley.
Got it. Okay.
Yep. So many people have been pranked.
Always funny. Still funny to this day.
Never annoying.

Speaker 1 Never been annoying.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest.

Speaker 4 I never understood the origin of that.

Speaker 1 It's just a, it's just a

Speaker 1 people started. No one knows what it means.
It's not.

Speaker 1 It still goes a little bit. I'll put it this way.
It had a longer run, still being funny than you would expect everybody like that. It was like crying Jordan.
But it is a classic.

Speaker 1 It is a real classic. Yeah.
My second one, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 Keyboard Cat.

Speaker 1 Oh, good one. I had that on there.
Keyboard Cat. Yeah,

Speaker 1 obviously the sequel, or yeah, the sequel with Haley Joel Osmond, which we brought up to with our interview with him. Yeah, when it's Walker, Walker Two, I had eight.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll go with.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with Letarian Milton.

Speaker 1 That's one of my all-time favorites. That's his name, right?

Speaker 1 Who? What do you guys... Are you serious right now, Hick? Which kid?

Speaker 4 Is that the I just want to do Hood Rats?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Hood Rats. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a good one. Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 4 The name of the video is Seven-Year Old Takes Car on Joyride.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his name is Letteri Milton.

Speaker 4 But it's Mount Rushmore YouTube video.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there you go. That's the name of the video.
What is it? Seven-year-old takes Car on Joyride. And I just want to do Hood Rats things with my friends.
I want to do it because it's fun.

Speaker 1 Fun to do bad things. Drive into a car.
Well, did you know that you could perhaps kill somebody? Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friends.

Speaker 1 Or no, I like doing hood rat things with my friends. I just wanted to do hood rat things with my friends.
And then my friend, he smokes real cigarettes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he just was so not remorseful at all and just a funny, funny fucking kid. And then I think he got arrested like later on in life, which sucked.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, I'm not surprised. Okay, whoa, what I mean?

Speaker 4 He was stealing cars at seven years old, but maybe that was a good time.

Speaker 1 Well, he took his grandmother's car, Hank. Yeah,

Speaker 4 I'm just saying the signs were there.

Speaker 1 It's different. I think that's

Speaker 1 a pre-crime on him. The signs were there.

Speaker 4 No, it was crime. It was crime, crime.

Speaker 1 It was crime, crime. Crime, crime.

Speaker 4 All right, so I had that one. I will go with Leroy Jenkins, HD, 1080p.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's a lot better than we usually do.

Speaker 1 All right, thumbs up. Ready, guys.
Let's Let's do this. Leroy.

Speaker 1 Okay. Classic.
Yep. Leroy.

Speaker 4 Screamed that in high school for like every, all the time. Obnoxiously.

Speaker 1 You? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Shocker, I can imagine.

Speaker 4 And then Greg Jennings, broken leg, scores on the Saints.

Speaker 1 Greg Jennings caught that shit. He's right.
Last day of the game. But though, earlier, dude.
The nigga broke his fucking leg. How is he running with a broken leg?

Speaker 1 look at this nigga holding this shit though dog he put the team on his back dog let's go inside the mind of a greg jennies

Speaker 1 dog i gotta do this shit i put a team my fucking back though my leg broke i don't know how the fuck i'm running right now though i'll do this shit for madden

Speaker 1 oh

Speaker 1 darren shopper One of the most hardest hitting safeties in the league. But I put the team on my back, dude.

Speaker 1 Fuck it. You can't stop me.
Cross the plane. Touchdown.

Speaker 1 Okay. Put the whole team on his back.
Call Matic now with Darren Sharper in there. Hardest hitting safety in the league.

Speaker 4 The Marshawn Lynch one is great, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll go with Antoine Johnson. Okay.

Speaker 1 What is the line? Hide your kids, hide your wife.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 6 Well, obviously, we have a rapist in Lincoln Park. He's climbing in your windows, he's snatching your people up, trying to rape them.

Speaker 6 So, y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband because they're raping everybody out here.

Speaker 1 He says something else after that, yeah.

Speaker 1 He says some things that you can't say. Okay, we'll put that in so we didn't say it.
Now, he's said it, he's fighting against the bagel boss guy. See,

Speaker 1 that's the best part about the old YouTube. Is like if you got viral, you became a celebrity forever.
You are really, really dumb. That's what I'm saying.
You are dumb. You are really, really dumb.

Speaker 1 All right, so now I got two wrapping around the snake. I'm going to go with.

Speaker 1 So I've got my last two. All right, I'm going to go with Chocolate Rain.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Taison Day. Okay.

Speaker 1 Banger of a song, if we're being honest. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then my last one is going to be.

Speaker 1 Sean Taylor bodying up the punter. Brian Moorman in the Pro Bowl.
Okay. With the Japanese version.
Okay.

Speaker 1 On at the end of the announcers freaking out after the hit. Okay.
Okay. My last pick.

Speaker 1 Now, what do I do, Hank? So I'll explain the problem I'm in, PFT.

Speaker 1 There's one video that I love more than any other video on YouTube. The person in the video has recently unblocked me and said that I have no more chances left.
If I mention it here.

Speaker 1 You want me to mention it? That way you're going to be able to do it. No, no, no, no.
Because I think even you mentioning it might get

Speaker 1 blocked. No, I think I'll get blocked too.
I think that that's how the blockhammer works with this person. You're already going to get blocked just for going down.
Just for even saying this.

Speaker 1 So, let me just say

Speaker 1 that is why I'm leaving this. That's why I'm not saying this video.
Okay. Because he also said that he would come on pardon my take.

Speaker 1 And I think for the betterment of this show, I will take a bullet here and not say what I want to say. Okay.
And at no point

Speaker 1 will I say it.

Speaker 1 At no point.

Speaker 1 Okay, my last pick.

Speaker 1 I will go with... Ooh, I'm going to go with Zombie Kid Likes Turtles.

Speaker 7 Back here live at the Waterfront Village with my friend, the zombie, Jonathan. You're looking good, Jonathan.
Just got an awesome face paint job. What do you think?

Speaker 1 I like turtles.

Speaker 7 All right. You're a great zombie.

Speaker 1 The reporter just being like, I fucked up so bad interviewing this kid is her face just makes it. Makes it.

Speaker 4 I don't know. See, I'm going to go with my actual pick.
I could go with a pandering pick, but I'm going to go with whatever you want. The Wiz Khalifa ATL Freestyle.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 Liam is saying if you know what video I'm talking about. That might have been.
You know what you just did? You know what Hank just did, PFT? What?

Speaker 1 He pandered, but we're too old to realize he pandered.

Speaker 1 I don't know how that's a pandering pick. Right, he went, no, no, no.
No, I could have.

Speaker 4 I was going to do.

Speaker 1 Wait, is it over now? Yeah, it's over. It's over.

Speaker 4 I was going to do Drinking Out of Cups.

Speaker 1 Oh, which is more of

Speaker 4 a general well-known video.

Speaker 1 The way Liam nodded means that Hank just did the, he just says he hate us. He's like, I'm not going to pander.
Then he pandered to a younger audience that we aren't aware of.

Speaker 1 Oh, so he threw us off the crap. He pandered.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Fake pandered. Yes.
He's like, oh, guys, I'm not going to pander.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to pander, but here's a pic that you guys are too old to know about,

Speaker 1 but everyone else will. Mia Khalifa spits hot fire.
Yeah. Cool, Hank.
Yeah. Okay.
We all get that one.

Speaker 1 All right, Mrs.

Speaker 1 Drinking Out of Cups. Drinking Out of Cups.
Grape Lady. Grape Lady Lucky.
Grape Lady was the first YouTube video I think I ever watched. This is like 2004.
Okay, Go's entire catalog. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then he put out like three videos in a row. They did the Trebo one.
Then they did the one where they're like doing the Rube Goldberg machine. Yep.
Dramatic Chipmunk. Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 George Brett shooting his pants. See, I didn't know.
Is that like a you known as a viral YouTube video or not? I think it is. I have no idea.

Speaker 4 Kimbo Slice.

Speaker 1 Kimbo Slice, just the whole, his whole

Speaker 1 directory, though. Yeah, his whole catalog, Kimbo Slice.

Speaker 4 Salad Fingers.

Speaker 4 Well, I don't know if I remember. Remember Salad Fingers?

Speaker 1 No, I don't know if I remember Salad Fingers.

Speaker 4 It was like a weird, trippy cartoon.

Speaker 1 The entire genre of the microphone. It was like ASMR before ASMR, now that I think about it.
Of Hitler reacting to things? Yes. Santa getting shot.
You guys know that one? I don't know that one.

Speaker 4 Oh, the fucking who else seen the leprechaun says that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one.

Speaker 1 Santa getting shot in Washington, D.C. He's walking down the street, like waving to people, and he just gets shot by a pellet gun in his ass.
I have not seen that.

Speaker 1 It was very good. Yeah, no, he's doing the news report, and then all of a sudden he just plays characters.

Speaker 1 David After the Dentist.

Speaker 1 That's a little PG for me. No big deal.
Yeah, yeah. I didn't put that one.
I didn't put Charlie Drew.

Speaker 1 Don't tase me, bro. Don't tase me, bro.

Speaker 1 Oh, here's one that I contemplated. Leave Brittany alone.
Yep, that's one.

Speaker 1 The best street party kid. Corey Worthington from Australia.
Yes, that dude. His famous glasses.
Absolute legend. Now, I'm not going to take these glasses off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have me throw the party. Watch you.
Paul Joyce to me for bringing me on your stupid show.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'm sure we left a bunch off.

Speaker 1 You can tweet us which ones we missed.

Speaker 1 Winnebago Man was the other one I thought. That's cool, yeah.
Yeah, Winnebago Man.

Speaker 4 The Alabama leprechaun.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a big mess. We sold shirts.
Yeah. Yeah.
Will it blend? Did you guys see the Will It Blend segment? Yeah. That they used to do.
It was a recurring thing. Yep.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't that great, but I'll be damned if I didn't watch every single one to see if it was going to blend. Yeah.
Deepcut, the K-Stross guy, do you remember him?

Speaker 1 He's basically a comedian that got on local access news channels and

Speaker 1 said he was a yo-yo master. Yeah, experts in the world.
One of the funniest things, one of the funniest video series. He just basically showed up and would just suck at it.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, is this guy for real? He just hacked his way into these things. All right, so we'll put that out there.
Tweet us which ones we missed. Let's get to our interview.

Speaker 1 We have Cody Coe and Noel Miller on the show talking about YouTube, talking about their comedy career. Very fun interview with those guys.

Speaker 1 Before we do that, hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Okay, here they are: Cody Coe and Noel Miller.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on Noel Miller and Cody Coe. What's good? They are, yeah, oh shit.
That was cool,

Speaker 1 you guys have very good camera awareness.

Speaker 4 We lack that entirely on the show.

Speaker 1 Should I say that you guys are tubers? Well, how do you I mean that because you guys are very funny guys and you are really good at critiquing the like bad parts of the internet.

Speaker 1 So then to introduce you as tubers kind of seems lame. Oh, thank you.
Right?

Speaker 1 Because professional YouTubers.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I would say on the other show, we describe ourselves as the bad boys of the internet.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like that topic.
That's good. Well, we're going to have a bad boy turf war.
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 That's what they said, too.

Speaker 1 Basically, our producer, Hank, said that you guys are us, West Coast us,

Speaker 1 without the sports. Oh, okay, fair enough.

Speaker 8 So, when we talk about sports, it's just like more curling and

Speaker 8 stuff.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Or I talk to him about MMA, and his eyes go glass, and I'm like, yeah, let's talk about dicks.

Speaker 8 That's really what happens.

Speaker 1 So, are you a UFC guy? Yeah, yeah. I love it.
See?

Speaker 1 There you go. Yeah, yeah.
What are your thoughts on Greg Hardy? He fucking sucks. Bro, I don't know why they give him a.

Speaker 1 We were saying that. It would be nice to just have him get his ass kicked.

Speaker 1 Someone just want to see him put him in the ring with a bunch of wolves or some shit. Cade is sculling.
Yeah. Why does Dana give him a chance? Yes.

Speaker 1 That's our UFC talk to her.

Speaker 1 So YouTubers.

Speaker 1 I feel like sometimes YouTubers get a bad rap, although it's kind of deserved at times, but just the name YouTubers is like a lame title, right? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 I mean, we are YouTubers, but like we do. Now we do a lot more than that.
Like obviously, like we podcast, podcasts we make music. We do live shows all the time now.

Speaker 8 So it's it's entertainers I would say.

Speaker 1 I like your song Short King's Anthem. Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 As a fellow Short King myself, it's like

Speaker 1 we've gotten a bad rap for a long time. It's like we can suck a titty standing up.
I like that.

Speaker 1 It's very nice. It's dope.

Speaker 8 And then Bagel Boss went and fucked it all up.

Speaker 1 He did.

Speaker 1 He sent us back 300 years. Well, he's also declared himself to be the MLK of Short People.
I don't know if you saw that.

Speaker 1 That was up. So yeah, we have to disavow.
We have to uniformly, all us real short kings, disavow bagel boss man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I looked up, I was looking up,

Speaker 1 don't ask me why, successful short dudes, and like top 10 was like Genghis Khan, Hitler, Napoleon. Yeah, I was just like, oh shit, all the most horrible people, angry,

Speaker 1 tiny, dude.

Speaker 1 James Madison, though. There you go.
He wrote the Constitution. There you go.

Speaker 1 Shout out.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 I wanted to talk

Speaker 1 quickly about the transition from Vine to YouTube that you guys made. Because Vine, every now and then I'll actually sit back and just be like, man, I miss Vine.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a whole world that I feel like we don't even have any of the content from it anymore. Yeah, it's like you have little

Speaker 1 floating bits of it, but no, it's not like that. Yeah, I mean, I miss it.

Speaker 8 It definitely was like,

Speaker 8 yeah, there's definitely still like a gap. like where Vine used to be.
Right. Like nothing has filled it.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 8 Like TikTok, maybe like there's like there's a couple good videos on TikTok now.

Speaker 1 Those people are so weirdos. God damn.

Speaker 8 No, I know, like, most of it is fucking bizarre.

Speaker 1 If you buy an Android phone, it's pre-loaded on there, right?

Speaker 1 That's why you get the weirdest fucking people.

Speaker 1 It's like the U2

Speaker 1 song that they gave everyone when they bought an iPod back. Yeah, yeah, it is.
Vine. Of course,

Speaker 1 I don't want that song. I remember fucking Windows 98 or 2000, the XP was preloaded with Beck.
Yes,

Speaker 1 you're like, fuck delete. Fuck, I don't want this.
Yeah, but it actually surprises me that nobody's recreated Vine. It seems like it'd be a pretty simple app to like just redo, right?

Speaker 1 Because people loved it. I think for the most part, Vine was a popular app.
It's just Twitter didn't want to keep it up. You know what I feel like? Vine was? It was just like shareable Snapchats.

Speaker 1 Like people post shit that now

Speaker 1 they would not want lasting forever. But that's what was good about Vine is someone with like a hundred followers.
It'd be like, look at me bashing the cigarette on my boyfriend. And then

Speaker 1 a million trillion plays.

Speaker 8 There is a second version, I think, that the guy who founded it is working on.

Speaker 8 He was working on it and then he shut it down, and now he's back working on it again. Yeah.
And I don't know. It'll be interesting to see if that's it.

Speaker 1 It feels like the biggest gap is like the whole Vine stars. The people who became super famous for these six-second clips and then never had something else.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like they're lost as well. You guys obviously went to YouTube.
Podcasts, you're successful in a million different ways.

Speaker 1 I feel like there's a whole group of people who are super successful on Vine, and then history has just lost them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, like,

Speaker 8 we started in MagCon. That's how we got our start.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you know what MadCon is? No, no. You don't know what MadCon is?

Speaker 1 Now I feel like a loser. No, no, no.
Let's talk about UFC again, Cody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bitch.

Speaker 8 Trust me, you're cooler for not knowing what this is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, MadCon was a weird thing where they took like basically a bunch of fuckboys from Vine.

Speaker 1 It was like some dude, and he made like a touring business out of these, like, it was like a boy band with no music.

Speaker 1 He was like the Lou Pearlman of Vine. Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was making money off all their names.

Speaker 1 like it i like the business model yeah he and he and he took like these young dudes around and and like he would just sell meet and greet tickets and it was like real creepy but they were and they were always at like the convention or like the the convention rooms at like the hilton and stuff like that yeah yeah and then like girls would line up to meet them and then do they would do this thing or like they had like a lot of moves right they're pretty sick but they had one where they would wrap their hands around someone's face and put the thumbs on the lips and then kiss what their thumbs

Speaker 1 so it's not as

Speaker 1 sexual assault It's a real kissing.

Speaker 1 This is what the world has missed. Like, Vine is.
What a great idea.

Speaker 1 Damn, is that run by the same guy that started that apartment complex that he just rented out to Vine Stars? I remember reading an article about Vine. Yeah, they all listened to the story.

Speaker 1 Oh, the one on Vine Street.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, no, no.
I think it's a different dude, but

Speaker 1 maybe the same. Maybe I may wrong.
RIP Vine.

Speaker 1 So, do you guys, you guys obviously live online, and a lot of your this is cringe videos that you put up are talking about the internet and the weird culture on the internet. Sorry for the sirens.

Speaker 1 We have a sweet-ass studio where you can just hear sirens every single second.

Speaker 1 Do you guys ever get like bummed out looking at the internet too much? Because that happens to me every now and then where I'm like, man, this sucks.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 No. No?

Speaker 1 I'm just like. Good.
That's a good answer. Yeah, I think I've seen too much.

Speaker 1 We had, for instance, on last show,

Speaker 1 someone tweeted that they uh figured out that the office every character except jim pam and oscar voted for trump and now he's like depressed about it it's like really that like you're at this point where the internet like depresses you this much where it it just it's such a weird concept to me to have the internet fuck your brain up so much that you can hate something you used to love yeah and i feel like that's how you get deep into the internet you get to these people where it's like what how is this real world yeah i mean like one thing that kind of i guess like would start to bum me out is when I'm like digging too hard for things to, like,

Speaker 8 that's, that's what this format sort of like requires you to do. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And, like, after a while, it's just like, so that's why we've started making like different types of videos and stuff like that, and you know, making more music and stuff, because it's like it's more fun than just digging for videos to make things, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Right, yeah, right.

Speaker 8 You get to a point where it might like depress you a little bit.

Speaker 1 Right, you get to a point where you get to almost like too deep into the internet, yeah, and you're like, These people are real? Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you ever have a conversation with a friend who is not online at all and then you realize how trivial and inconsequential some of the shit that you care about actually is like yeah there was something uh i think usa today had like a front page article last week about what a wife guy is so there's this like trend on the internet of like people making content out of their wives the wife that fell down a cliff the other week yeah oh yeah oh yeah

Speaker 1 the wife that got an email sent to him and and they call these guys wife guys now, which I guess really are just husbands. But it's got an internet term for it now.

Speaker 1 And there was an an article on the front page of USA Today, and if you weren't online and you read that, you would be like, what fucking world am I living in?

Speaker 1 Like, sometimes you get too down into the weeds to

Speaker 1 really understand how fucked up your brain gets online, you know? Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 It's funny now because

Speaker 1 people watch like, you know, us like reactive videos and stuff, and they'll send us stuff and say, you guys should react to this.

Speaker 1 And it's just like some person with like a thousand subscribers who's maybe just like a little clueless or like not self-aware and it's like he just wants to blow this guy's life up and freaking like, yeah, what he's doing is weird, but Jesus Christ, we're not just going to look at this moron over here.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
You have some responsibility. Finding that line.

Speaker 1 How much, you guys are both from Canada. How much has that helped,

Speaker 1 you know, like critique, I guess. internet culture is internet culture.
Yeah. But I feel like a lot of this is Americans being very, very weird.
Yeah, I'm like fake Canadian. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I was born in Toronto, but I moved to LA like like real young okay you're like kawaii yeah yeah yeah pretty much

Speaker 1 cody you're real canadian yeah you're a real full-blown canadian you're all the way there yeah yeah is the canadian internet different is it the same it's just everything ends in dot ca

Speaker 1 that's weird instead of dot com it's fucking bizarre really weird that's the wild

Speaker 1 what are the canadian pranks just like uh paying for somebody's paying too much for somebody's coffee paying for someone's tim hortons yeah exactly that's what it is a moose in your backyard yeah i actually saw an awesome moose content video the other day just a moose chilling out in the front oh i saw that.

Speaker 1 In the front yard? Yeah. In a sprinkler.
It was so hot that the moose was just like laying down on a sprinkler. Yeah, we get that all the time.
They're like deer, pretty much.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 8 I have seen moose like plenty in Banff and shit like that, though. Oh, here's a bad one.

Speaker 1 Huge. Yeah.
Was the Canadian Snow White just moose instead of deer? They've replaced Bambi with a moose.

Speaker 1 Disney just doubling down. You can honestly tell me anything about Canada and I'll believe it.

Speaker 1 I know that it's only a couple hundred miles away, but you could seriously be like, oh, yeah, the moose are actually the ones that animate all the cartoons up there.

Speaker 1 Elephants are the pay for us. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm curious with this because I think we have a similar feeling of at what point were you like, yo, this is actually a job and we can do this full time?

Speaker 1 Because we kind of got, we went ass backwards into this profession and eventually along the way, we're like, wait, this actually pays well. And telling people you're a podcaster isn't.

Speaker 1 super embarrassing even though it still is.

Speaker 1 When someone's like, what do you do? I'm a podcaster. But at what point were you like, this actually is a profession now? Because it's a totally new, new profession.

Speaker 1 You know, 10 years ago, tubers weren't real. Yeah, yeah.
Shoot.

Speaker 1 Well, it started with Cody had, he

Speaker 1 got a, his visa changed. So we used to be software engineers.
So he, because his visa changed, he had to quit and he had to become like an entertainer.

Speaker 1 So we were kind of still making videos together and he was figuring it out. And then

Speaker 8 we really weren't making that much money then. No, it wasn't enough.
Like coming from being software engineers, Yeah, like having a salary.

Speaker 1 Great salary. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And then basically switching to, okay, let's like, let's really try and figure out how to make money on content.

Speaker 8 And at that point, it was like, you know, YouTube videos, we were like monetizing, but like not nearly enough to live in L.A.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 1 And so then I got about a year into that, I got laid off from my job as an engineer. We were working at the same company.
And Cody said, don't get a job. Let's go for broke.
Like, fuck it.

Speaker 1 And so we started a a podcast. And then thankfully, like, we started a Patreon, and that kind of like put some stability in there.
And from there, we were able to build on top of that.

Speaker 1 I guess we both would feel a little bit like, because we're so new to it, it's not like official. It's not there yet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So we feel like we have to hustle real hard to make sure it's, you know, it's lasting. Right, right.

Speaker 1 What do you, what, how would you describe what you do to somebody if you're just like meeting somebody new on the streets or something? Like, software engineer.

Speaker 8 I still dabble in code yeah yeah yeah I do comedy on the side was there ever any point where you were like a little bit nervous to putting to be putting so many eggs in like YouTube's basket like their monetization baskets like if they change their algorithm or their business model or something to me it's gonna fuck with us yeah but that's the reason why uh there's so many like ways to monetize now if you're like a creator that um it forced us to like figure out different streams like yeah when youtube like when when it was going through that apocalypse shit that's why i started a podcast because it was like longer form stuff was easier to monetize.

Speaker 8 And so like it just forces you to kind of adapt, which I think is like anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you guys ever do the fake videos on YouTube where it's like an explosive headline and then it's just a static picture of someone?

Speaker 1 I love those. We've tried those.

Speaker 1 When like the mafia boss got shot and killed in Staten Island, we put up a YouTube on our channel that was like explosive footage of mafia boss gunned down and then it was just his picture and us reading his Wikipedia underneath.

Speaker 1 Those always get me. Those always get me.
I'm sure you've been in the, like, you've hit them. Yeah, 100%.
It's such bullshit, but it works. Yeah, I'm looking up, like, rapper beef.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, Uzi Vert knocks out Cardi. You're like, oh, shit, this is a picture of his Instagram.
Yeah, and he's like,

Speaker 1 here are my thoughts on Uzi Vert. Yeah, this is some random dude talking for 12 minutes about it.
And his fucking headphone microphone. Yes, yeah.
Scratchy as shit. Yes.

Speaker 1 You don't have to wake up.

Speaker 1 I'll watch the whole thing. Yeah, absolutely.
When you start, you have to say, like, hey, what's up, guys? Is that like, that's code for YouTube, YouTube, right?

Speaker 1 You have to say it.

Speaker 8 It's YouTube requires it.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, it's in there bylaws.

Speaker 1 It's like the Pledge of Allegiance, but like for YouTube.

Speaker 1 You can always also just, like, if you're if if one of your videos isn't doing as well as you thought it would be, just add gone wrong at the end of it. Just like like a or a banned commercial.

Speaker 1 Those always do well too. Just toss those in headlines.

Speaker 8 Yeah, gone sexual.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yes.
Gone sexually wrong. Yeah.
Gone sexually wrong is a good one. Yeah.
Banned commercial. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you think is the reason why people do so much dumb shit online? And put it online? That's a good question. I mean, I think that's kind of, man.

Speaker 1 So we do like a series called Steamy Tweets on my channel. And the way I would describe it is like, people don't realize the internet's available to everyone.

Speaker 1 I think it's like some people upload stuff thinking that the internet is like it's just their part of the internet. And it's like, no, man, someone's going to find that, put that on a blog.

Speaker 1 So I think that's what it is. Also, I just think there are people that just want that attention.
Yeah, true. They're after it.
True.

Speaker 1 Have you ever uploaded something that was actually cringe on your part that then you got roasted for, and you're like, oh shit, it's not so fun being on this side of it?

Speaker 8 We've done a bunch of cringy stuff. Yeah.
But if you, if you, like, I think if you make yourself the butt of the joke, like, we don't take ourselves too seriously, right?

Speaker 1 Like what we do. Honestly, I think the way that I just said cringe as a 34-year-old guy was probably pretty fucking cringy.

Speaker 1 No, it's true, though.

Speaker 1 Making yourself the butt of your joke and being, because that's what I love about the internet is I laugh about all these idiots, but I realize too, if I were 22, I'd probably do the same shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.
If I was a bored teenager, I'd probably be saying the same shit. Yeah, I mean, that's also it.

Speaker 1 Like, you think about, I don't know, when you're like fucking 16 and someone's dad had a camera, and you're like, let's make videos or something. Like, all those videos are dumb as fuck.
Yeah. Awful.

Speaker 1 Or you see your favorite porn star on Twitter and you're like, maybe I'll just shoot my shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That might work. I don't know.
Off her Amazon wish list. Yeah.
And then tweet screenshot at her. Yeah.
Yeah, when it doesn't work out, she doesn't work. It doesn't have to be a sound.
I've tried that.

Speaker 1 It doesn't work.

Speaker 1 Or you just send her the follow-up cash app like, hey, I think you missed my Amazon gift. Just want to say again.
Yeah, I got that for you. Really love you.
Just really like soft feet.

Speaker 1 Just show me the feed.

Speaker 8 Or it'd be just, you know, I could just, you know. lick your feet or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, whatever you want.

Speaker 1 Just send you a bunch of money.

Speaker 1 So Hank wrote a bunch of questions for us here because Hank is a big fan of yours. Hank, do you have any questions for him? Just the ones I wrote for you guys.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Hank. Here's a a good one from Hank.
You guys make your own beats. By the way, do you know Pro Tools? Yeah.
Can you mix a song?

Speaker 1 I've got a music video coming out tomorrow, and our fucking studio guy just decided not to show up today.

Speaker 8 I'm pretty terrible at mixing, to be honest.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we have two producers. Shout out to Spock and Diamond Pistols.

Speaker 1 They make all our beats. Diamond Pistols is a sweet fucker.
Yeah, that is pretty serious.

Speaker 1 Sonny Digital makes all of our beats. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys know him. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think I've heard him. No, he actually does.
I'm serious. Yeah, yeah.
We're on soundtrack with him. Once a year, he makes Speed Force.
I said, we back into this shit.

Speaker 1 We've done two songs with him and, like, just hang out with him anytime we're in Atlanta. So, is that the one coming out tomorrow? No, this is one that we just recorded, like, down the street.

Speaker 1 Oh, gotcha. Yeah.
We have one called Projects. It's Chonk that came out in February.
We're down for the Super Bowl. I save all my trap shit for part of my take, and then I do pop-punk songs on my own.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. We got to figure out a way to get that fucking song mixed, though.

Speaker 1 I have to apologize to you, Noel, because you got verified on Twitter. What is it, a few months ago?

Speaker 1 yeah yeah all right so you tweeted i'm just verified on twitter and uh now i'm ready to like yell at some airlines

Speaker 1 and that's been my brand for a really long time is that i just helped

Speaker 1 no no no no it's it's you were spot on if you're verified on twitter you are legally obligated to yell at like delta and american airlines when your boarding takes 10 minutes longer than you thought so i but i uh yell on behalf of other people so if people are having problems blue check marks i always hop in and just tell like delta i'm gonna skull fuck you unless you fix this.

Speaker 1 And then you asked to collab, and I somehow missed the message, but I also remember looking in. Are you actually a vegan? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you got to take that out because when I saw you were vegan, I was like, this guy sucks.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, I saw a vegan in the profile. I was like, I don't like this guy.

Speaker 1 I don't want anything to do with him. Swear to God.
I thought the sarcasm was obvious. No, yeah, you didn't understand my sarcasm.
I didn't understand yours.

Speaker 8 That word jumps out, though.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 8 If you see that in a sentence or whatever, it's like, that's the one you see.

Speaker 1 You should take it out.

Speaker 1 You could be missing out on a lot of business opportunities. Yeah, I said I'm the first vegan with ass.
Yeah, and I don't know.

Speaker 1 He's like, Never mind his ass. He's vegan.
Get the fuck out of it. Vegan.

Speaker 1 I thought being a fake vegan with ass would be

Speaker 1 like a, I don't know, a first. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you yelled at an airline yet?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I fucking got in America American Airlines ass over DMs. Yes.

Speaker 8 Fucked our day up.

Speaker 1 Oh, I wish I had found out. I would would have skull fucked them.

Speaker 1 I'm actually probably on a list because I actually do tweet like American Airlines saying, I'm going to skull fuck you. They've definitely tried to fix it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to saw on the FBI, no fucking list, but yeah. And then if you look at my DMs, it's all to like Delta and American Airlines asking them to telling them they need to fix someone else's flight.

Speaker 1 So it's never mine.

Speaker 1 It's usually just yellowing. Does it work? Do they fix?

Speaker 1 Well, the joke is that they will usually respond and then I'll just take credit for being like, see, got it done.

Speaker 1 And obviously it doesn't, nothing gets fixed ever yeah on these stupid like online you know they don't give a no they don't give a fuck i always love how how when airlines respond to you on twitter the person that does it always puts their initials at the end of the tweet yeah yeah it is from hk oh yeah i know hk yeah oh yeah uh helencal yeah yeah yeah right right oh yeah

Speaker 1 a remarkably good typer yeah but i apologize for that because i i'm being totally honest the vegan thing threw me off i don't think i'll ever collab with a vegan okay got it i'm just being totally honest well you can you can know that i'm not vegan thank god You probably have collabed with the vegan.

Speaker 1 You just don't know yet. Well, I want to take that back.
Yeah. That's cringe.
Retroactively.

Speaker 1 That's very cringe.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Who do people most commonly recognize you from if you're walking down the street?

Speaker 1 It's a mix.

Speaker 1 We can tell who is

Speaker 1 a fan of what, based on what they say. Yeah.
So if it's like a come joke, podcast listener. Right.
If they scream sugar gay, it's YouTube.

Speaker 1 Of course, yeah. Yeah, and then

Speaker 1 no one like really

Speaker 1 knows this just for music.

Speaker 8 So I'll get real bros.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like sometimes I burn, which is weird because like people will, that one takes a second for people. They'll look at me like, what the?

Speaker 8 Because like for people on YouTube, like they watch our shit all the time. They look at my face all the fucking time.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 8 So it's like they'll just freak out right away. They'll know.
But like Real Bros, it's like

Speaker 1 people just be like,

Speaker 1 I think that's it. Yeah.
And they'll call them,

Speaker 1 Wade.

Speaker 8 I'm like, yeah, what's up?

Speaker 1 Do you burn?

Speaker 8 Which, by the way, there's no funny answer to that question.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. There's not.

Speaker 8 That fucks me up because I can't say anything that's funny in response to that.

Speaker 1 Well, you could just be like,

Speaker 8 of course I burn. Yeah, but then they're like, uh-huh.

Speaker 1 No, you don't.

Speaker 1 And they'll walk away. And they're just like, what am I supposed to say? Just put it back on them.
Just be like, do you burn? Yeah. Yeah.
You don't even burn.

Speaker 1 No, you should just carry a bong around and be like, yes.

Speaker 1 Let's go want to get high right now. Yes.

Speaker 1 Is it weird for you guys being in that?

Speaker 1 This is probably another similarity where you have a level of fame where people recognize you, but like we don't feel famous, but people look at our faces all the day, all the time.

Speaker 1 So they recognize us. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the best is when someone will say something to us, and then there'll be a random person be like, who are you? Yes. And I'm like, well, I can't really explain it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

Speaker 8 I hate that. It's so hard.
It hurts so much. Dude, that happened to me in Starbucks the other day.
This girl, I'm like waiting in line. It's like, you know, peak, 10 a.m.
or whatever, peak time.

Speaker 8 So it's like giant line. And I'm waiting there, and this girl, like, walks by the window, and she's like,

Speaker 8 and she runs in and it's like, can I get a picture? And I'm like, sure. So she takes a selfie and leaves.
And the guy behind me is like, what do you do, man?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like, I'm a YouTuber.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Immediately he was like, whoa. Okay, cool.
Yeah, it's no word.

Speaker 1 That like tension. Oh, and then he steps in front of you.
Yeah, excuse me.

Speaker 1 You little beta.

Speaker 1 When they're staring at you, trying to figure out what it is you do, that that person just recognized. I want to always know what's going through their head, like the process of elimination.

Speaker 1 It's like, for me, the guy's usually like,

Speaker 1 maybe Kid Rock Stunk Double or like some other way and shit like that. But it's like, it's never when I tell them, like, oh, I do a podcast, there's like such disappointment.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, I thought I was next to a celebrity. Yeah, exactly.
It happened to us at a Dodgers game. We were out in L.A., and we both had taken edibles before we got to the game.
He's a drugstore.

Speaker 1 And then we're in a long line for concessions, and these two kids came up and asked for a picture.

Speaker 1 And then there's two, like, 60-year-old dudes standing next to us, asked us every question they could think of.

Speaker 1 They're a business, business question. You're a business guy, so they're like, What's your uh, what's your ROI right now on new hires?

Speaker 1 Like, how do you decide when to hire like a new producer for the show? I don't know. I just want ice cream.
I'm like, man, I want the ice cream out of the helmet.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to get a fucking helmet full. And we just tell everyone we make $75,000 a podcast each

Speaker 1 show. Because there was an article once that was like, pardon my take, makes $15 million a year.
And then everyone did the math. You're like, what? You make $75,000 a podcast? Like, yep.

Speaker 1 You give us a big check right after.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like an actual lottery style. Right.
Every single episode.

Speaker 1 Good job. You did another episode.

Speaker 8 Caffetti. We take a picture every single time.

Speaker 1 All right. I got one last question.
See Geek question. Put in promo code take.
You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.

Speaker 1 Who are you guys beefing with? We want to get a beef

Speaker 1 going. Shoot, man.
Because it always is good

Speaker 1 when we get the residual beef. So, if you go off on someone on our show, then everyone will be like, you got to listen to what they said on Pard My Tape.

Speaker 1 You guys get real big guests, so I feel like we should just aim for somebody. Yeah, fuck Jake Gyllenhaal.
Okay, yeah, yeah. I've heard he's kind of a dick.

Speaker 1 Like, the whole method acting thing, it's like, dude, chill out.

Speaker 1 You weren't actually in the military. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was joking, but you really're on your side. Like, fuck that.
Like, it's Stolen Valor, basically, what he does is just try to play badass characters all the time.

Speaker 1 His sister's a better actor than him.

Speaker 1 Maggie's way better. Maggie's in playable actor.
Was she in Batman? Yeah. Yeah.
Jake's awesome. Jake's just riding his sister's coattails.

Speaker 1 Everybody in Hollywood knows it, and they always talk about it, but nobody has the balls to say it, but we do.

Speaker 1 Bus force.

Speaker 1 No. No.
Dude, that was crazy.

Speaker 8 Jake, hey, watching, I got no problem with it.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's Stolen Valor. Have you guys gotten in beefs, like internet beefs? Nah, but I have to say, telling an actor that he's doing a military movie is Stolen Valor is so good.

Speaker 1 God forbid I ever run into anybody. Motherfucking.
Get him. Yeah.
Who did Chris Kyle? What's his name? Oh, Bradley Cooper. Yeah, Bradley Cooper.
Big time. Yeah.
Big. Cuss his ass out.
Yeah, please do.

Speaker 1 I mean, also, they're taking jobs away from veterans that are actors.

Speaker 1 You can't just cosplay as a soldier.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you fucking weenie. Yeah.
Looking pretty on camera.

Speaker 1 What did you do? You didn't do shit. Jar Head sucked.

Speaker 1 We got to get better internet people.

Speaker 1 Donnie Darko is a fake deep movie, too. Everybody always talks about Donnie Darko.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, that's like every 14-year-old's favorite movie. Exactly.

Speaker 1 I saw

Speaker 1 beef or vendetta. Mike Harry, but like, makes you think.
Oh, the guy's wearing a bunny head. Sick.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it makes you think.

Speaker 1 It's very deep. All right, so we're officially beefing with Jake Jill and Holly.
That works.

Speaker 1 You guys got us in that beef.

Speaker 1 We're trying to get you to beef to a ladder.

Speaker 8 I just said it as a joke, and now we're actually beefing with Jake Gyllenhausen.

Speaker 1 Who do you want to beef with on the internet?

Speaker 1 There's got to be other tubers.

Speaker 8 Everyone that we like, everyone that we make fun of is pretty fucking cool. I remember you saw the kombucha video that we did, did, but we like basically ripped on this like Forbes video that they did

Speaker 8 on the founder of kombucha, the guy that first bottled it in America. So, he's like a billionaire from bottling kombucha, okay?

Speaker 8 Yeah, and so the Forbes video makes him out to be like this beverage villain. Yeah, like he's sitting in his like house, like petting his rabbit and shit like that.

Speaker 8 So, we ripped on the video and we're like making fun of, you know, we were making fun of him a little bit too. Yeah, and he DM'd us right afterwards and was like the nicest guy.

Speaker 8 I was like, dude, this is so funny. Come over to my place.
Let's let's film a follow-up video. Yeah, Yeah, okay.

Speaker 8 Like, that's most of the people that we like, yeah, are like, you know, in like fake beefs with or whatever, like, are really cool.

Speaker 1 So, you guys are us. Yeah, you do the exact same thing.

Speaker 1 We bullied JJ Watt, where we basically bullied him into an interview and made fun of him, and then we raised money for his foundation so that he would do an interview.

Speaker 1 And now we're actually like, he's a good guy. We realize is there any point where like you meet somebody that you've ragged on, you're like, I really wanted to hate you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it turns out you're cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, like, it kind of starts that way. We, when we start,

Speaker 1 when we roasted the kid Maddie Smokes, we thought he was going to be like a bit of a douche and like a shitty kid. And it turns out he's like the sweetest kid.
So nice, man.

Speaker 1 Just like he would hit us up. He's like, yo, you want to play Fortnite? Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah, I know. Because you're like, damn it.
Yeah, I thought you were going to be like a dickhead. That was because I was hotboxing Jewel, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That guy's sick.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's perfect internet culture, though, too, where you just hate someone for a video you see them in, and then you meet them, and you're like, okay, you're a nice person. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That happens to us all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is kind of cool. Right.
It is cool.

Speaker 8 Like, there's more content and stuff.

Speaker 1 It reminds you how fake the internet world is. Totally.
Yeah. Yeah.
100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Fuck Dr. Phil.
Oh, what's up? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We had him on the show. We fucked him up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We fucked him up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, mentally. We destroyed him.

Speaker 1 They took him in a van and filmed the whole thing. Oh, yeah.
PFD got him on reverse psychology, and I just kept on in the middle of the interview being like, are you okay? Are you happy?

Speaker 1 What? So we fucked him up. We destroyed his brain.
Afterwards, he was feeling so low, he had to show us his clay court tennis court that he plays on every day.

Speaker 1 He basically challenged us to a game of tennis so that he could defeat us at something. Right.

Speaker 1 We alpha him mentally. Yeah.
We fucked him up. I mean, we do that thing in the back of the van where if you're in the back of the, we like cram people into a van so they really have nowhere to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then it just becomes the physical like closeness makes it so they cannot dodge any question.
Kidnapping is actually a very good interviewing technique. It is.
Wow, it is. What a thought.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to do that part of your show. Yeah, we'll do it.
Next time we're in LA, we will bring the van because that's what we did. Oh, you really do that?

Speaker 1 Yeah. We actually had a show that got canceled on ESPN.
But, yeah, we get into a vote. Oh, oh, B, fuck ESPN.
Yeah, fuck ESPN.

Speaker 1 You know what? You know what? You know what? Fuck ESPN for what they're doing to the UFC. That's a dumb, stupid fucking model.
It makes no sense where the fuck you put the fights. Some fights.

Speaker 1 I can't buy it. Yeah, you can't buy it, or you can't buy it, and it's on Sling, but then you go to Sling and it played three hours earlier.
Yes. That shit sucks.
There we go. It's making better.

Speaker 1 There's the beater. Check out Dazone instead.
Yeah. There's the PSPN.
Yeah, but we get people in the back of vans and then we just kind of fuck them up mentally.

Speaker 1 It's actually a side and true business model.

Speaker 1 It's like bang bust, but just your mind. Yeah, yeah.
Pretty verbal bang bust. Verbal bang bust.
Exactly. School fuck.
Or if we pull up in the van in Hollywood, they find celebrities like Kevin Hart.

Speaker 1 They're like, you want to make 500 bucks? Yeah, and Kevin Hart. You want to make some money?

Speaker 1 Hey, big boy. Yes.

Speaker 1 Wait, there's a camera and I get paid for it. Fuck yes,

Speaker 1 yes. Um, all right, boys, thank you so much.
This was a ton of fun, yeah. Appreciate you stopping by,

Speaker 1 and we got to collab on some skull fucking. Yeah, let's do it.
Next time, just let me know. I'll get in.
I will, I may never fly again.

Speaker 8 Anytime we have airline problems now, we know who to I'm the one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I will get an answer, and then I'll pat myself on the back and take a victory lap and be like, job well done.

Speaker 1 All right, boys, thanks. Thank you, thanks, guys.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have Explain It to Hank, Clinton body count.

Speaker 1 Yes, Hank actually pulled me aside earlier today because this was trending on Twitter and was like, what is the Clinton body count? And Hank, what did you think that it was?

Speaker 1 You were like excited to find out about it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, I thought it was talking about sex. I thought it was like, you know, kids these days, and they talk about like what your number is, they'll be like, what's your body count? Right.

Speaker 4 So I thought it was going to be like a funny hashtag with like, you know, some scandalous, like, which it could actually, it could have been with Bill Clinton. That's what I thought.

Speaker 4 And that's what I was like, oh shit, this is going to be funny.

Speaker 1 Ha ha ha. Well, embrace the base.
45,000 tweets, and I was like, uh, has Bill Clinton killed more people than he's fucked?

Speaker 1 So I just,

Speaker 1 so it just, it's a theory that just started. So yeah, this started, I'd say, back in like the mid-90s.

Speaker 1 People freaked out because they thought that the Clintons were murdering all their political adversaries and former friends. It started with the guy that made the Whitewater deal with them.

Speaker 1 Shit, I forget. The guy's name's skipping my mind right now, but it's pursued to this day.
And so anytime anybody around the Clintons dies, they're like, oh. The Clintons killed him again.

Speaker 1 This is Hillary. Hillary can't beat Donald Trump in an election, but she can get away with like two dozen murders.

Speaker 1 So this is because Jeffrey Epstein was like maybe committed to tried to commit suicide or got beat up? I think he was just jacking off and was doing auto-rock. That's gotta fucking

Speaker 1 the worst of the worst human beings of all time. He was on the floor of his jail cell, and so that's why it got brought up again.

Speaker 1 But this is, I always just assume like House of Cards was written about the Clintons. I think it kind of was.
Right.

Speaker 1 True story. But then you have to think like...
Biopic. If this was true, Anthony Weiner's dick would at least be cut off by now, if not killed entirely.
True. True.

Speaker 1 So there's like some, there's enough. So basically, we can prove that the Clintons didn't murder a bunch bunch of people by the fact that there's still a few people alive.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's a good defense. Anytime Anthony Wiener's wiener pops up, which it does several times a year, that is all the proof that you need.
There you go.

Speaker 1 Although I would really like to see Hillary Clinton try to kill somebody. Yep.
Oh,

Speaker 1 breaking moves.

Speaker 1 The breaking moves.

Speaker 1 What do you have?

Speaker 4 A lot of cows in the kitchen today. The Celtics actually just signed Taco Fall, which is exciting.

Speaker 1 Okay. And

Speaker 1 that was expected, right?

Speaker 4 Well, that just happened two seconds ago. Literally, like, as I was saying, breaking moves.

Speaker 4 But the other breaking moves that also just happened is that the Song of the Summer music video has finally dropped.

Speaker 1 Nice. It did finally drop.
It dropped a day late, but I think it was worth the wait. Well worth it.
Shout out to probably the best Barcelon video I've seen, like quality-wise. Very good.

Speaker 1 Buddha Ben really strung it together for us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Song of the Summer is out now. We just decided that we would write a song called The Song of the Summer, kind of a little like cheat ghost there.
Smart, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you, listen, if you're listening to this right now and you haven't heard the song of the summer, you're a loser. And And we'll put it at the end of the show.

Speaker 1 And we'll put it at the end of the show. There's only one way to fix it, and then we'll make you a winner at the end of the show.
Yeah, look at that. And, PFT, don't you have a concert coming up?

Speaker 1 Good question, Big Kit. I do Saturday on Long Island, right? I nailed it that time.
Inside of Long Island. At Mulca's Saturday night, we will see you there.
We're playing, I think, like 24 songs.

Speaker 1 Whoa. You'll know the words the most.

Speaker 1 And if you don't, that's fine. Just get really drunk and puke on us.
Hell yeah. It's punk as fuck.
Song of the summer.

Speaker 1 Can people sing along to Song of the Summer? You better sing along. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah, they will.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 Way pointing us.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to read me a chocolate milk. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Hang on, cut this.
Keep producing. No, no, keep this in.
I didn't actually bring it up.

Speaker 1 Keep all this in.

Speaker 1 So, while PFT looks for the chocolate milk ad,

Speaker 1 Song of the Summer, okay, he's

Speaker 1 nailed it. And on Long Island, in Long Island.
Okay, Barstool built by Chocolate Milk. Hank, you've done a great job educating the AWS about how chocolate milk is delicious and it helps with recovery.

Speaker 1 Since this is the last story for a while, why don't you tell everyone what they should go out and buy, why they should go out and buy more chocolate milk using the words capital and sabbatical.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 You got this.

Speaker 4 Listen, you're at your job right now. It's summer.
It's hot as fuck. You don't want to be here.

Speaker 1 You're about to get it.

Speaker 4 You're going to want to go into your boss's office and say, I'm taking a sabbatical.

Speaker 1 See what they say. See what they say.

Speaker 4 They might just be like, all right, right, see you in a year.

Speaker 1 Hank after Hank knows what sabbatical means.

Speaker 4 And then just with a capital F, say F you on the way out, get some chocolate milk and enjoy the weather.

Speaker 1 Hell yes. That's good, Hank.
Way to go.

Speaker 4 I had an art teacher take a sabbatical once.

Speaker 1 And that's what I thought was your inspiration. That's how I knew.
Like everyone says, like, they're like, oh, my English teacher in ninth grade really made me love books.

Speaker 1 Your art teacher taking a long vacation made you love vacations?

Speaker 4 It just, no, that's how I knew what it meant.

Speaker 1 I think that's part of the job description. Like, if you're an art teacher, you just end up, you get high for like a month and call it a sabbatical.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sabbatical actually just means like if somebody is too important to whatever company for you not to fire them, you just say they're taking a sabbatical until things cool down for a while.

Speaker 1 Urban Meyer's taking sabbatical. Yeah, his entire life is just jobs and then something happens and he takes a sabbatical

Speaker 1 and then another job.

Speaker 1 So learn more at builtwithchocolate milk.com. Thank you, Hank.
That was wonderful. All right, next up, before we do Jimbo's, it's Louisiana who cares.

Speaker 1 No, Louisiana. It's Louisiana who cares.
Who cares? Louisiana. Who cares? It's Louisiana.
It's Louisiana. Who cares? I had it.
Well, who cares? Good segment. Which way I do it.
Yeah, good point.

Speaker 1 Well, nobody in Louisiana does. Right.
Because Death Valley just announced today that they are going to sell beer and wine inside the general seating areas at Tiger Stadium in 2019. I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it too. Take every LSU home game.
Not that you wouldn't anyway, but the crowd is going to be very loud.

Speaker 1 Never going to waver. And some people are saying it's not a great idea.
To them, I say, who cares? And also. Fuck fuck you.
You don't know shit about Louisiana if you think this is a bad idea.

Speaker 1 Go take a sabbatical, bitch. Yeah, because would you rather have 90,000 sober Louisianans in a stadium? Probably not.
Nope.

Speaker 1 It's like, would you rather wander into a grizzly bear pen if they're really super hungry and they haven't eaten in a long time? Nope. Or if they're all fattened up on salmon.
Yes. Exactly.

Speaker 1 You want... Hank caught them.
Yes. You want these Louisianans to be nice and liquored up.
It'll be more fun for everybody involved. I'm excited for this.

Speaker 1 Finally, finally, NCAA Stadium's like, this is ridiculous. It took this long.
I'm like, hey, maybe we should sell beer at the fucking football game.

Speaker 1 I can't wait until some drunk Cajun that's been like sneaking this stuff in for years calls himself the Rosa Parks of this law. Like, I've been staying up this injustice for bullshit here, 24 years.

Speaker 1 Now you can buy a Coors Light. Hank, Jimbo's, let's do it.
The return.

Speaker 4 What's up, Fitkat, boss baby, PFT, and Hank? I'm a lifeguard, and I have to watch little kids learn to swim.

Speaker 4 The other day at preschool, we were standing next to the pool, and out of nowhere, he fell fell in face first. But instead of jumping in, I just watched to see if he could swim back up.
He didn't.

Speaker 4 After 10 seconds, I went in. Is that dumb or understandable?

Speaker 1 No, it sounds like you got a little football coach in it. Totally understandable.
Because you just assume that he's going to be able to swim, right? Why would you be in a pool if he can't swim?

Speaker 1 You know what? You also probably saved that kid's life because that kid is going to be terrified of water and he'll never go near another pool, another lake, another ocean again.

Speaker 1 So he's never going to drown. You did your job.

Speaker 1 This visual is very funny because I think I do the same thing. Like, kid falls in.
You're like, well, I'm going to wait and see if he's got this. Someone should get that kid.

Speaker 1 And then he just slowly sinks to the bottom. You're like, oh, fuck.
Hey, is someone going to get that kid?

Speaker 1 All right, next. What's up, guys?

Speaker 4 I was drunk and I was impulse buying plane tickets to go to the TTUN Michigan game at Ohio State. They aren't even playing.
And then parentheses. TTUN.
I don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 The team up north. The team up north.
Oh, those are nice. Thank you, Jake.
That was very useful.

Speaker 1 Wait, the game's not even. The game's in ArnPet.
Continue. All right, yeah.

Speaker 1 Everybody's in your car. This is not a cop pulling you over.
This is Pete. Tweet at all businessPete and call him a fuckhead.

Speaker 4 They aren't even playing the game at OSU this year. It's in Ann Arbor, and I accidentally bought plane tickets to Columbia, the country.
I bought plane tickets to fucking Bogota.

Speaker 4 No flight insurance either. I booked a hotel room in Bogota as well.
I'm fucked.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Little spin zone for you, buddy. Just go.

Speaker 1 I've kind of been in the same boat because I actually have two tickets for Michigan State at Ohio State this fall that I bought last fall when I was trying to get into the Michigan versus Ohio State game.

Speaker 1 Ah, so I have those. Remind me to sell them.
Okay, yeah, you got to get rid of those soon. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's a tough break, but I say just go to Columbia. It's a wonderful, wonderful place.
Again, not a drug guy, but if you want to pick a country to go to, you could do a lot worse than Columbia. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, there's drugs.
And murder.

Speaker 1 Listen, I want to just make it clear. I think Hank's entire knowledge about the country of Columbia comes from Vince making Medellin an entourage.
And it's not wrong, though. Two Escobars.

Speaker 1 That is wrong.

Speaker 4 Two Escobars 30 for 30.

Speaker 1 None of that is wrong. No, no, Columbia.

Speaker 1 Columbia is a wonderful place. None of that is wrong.
All right.

Speaker 4 I got in the backseat to buckle again. I'm going raw dog here from Jake, so bear with me.
Oh, geez. I got in the backseat to buckle my son in his car to avoid a Florida rainstorm.

Speaker 4 I buckled him in and couldn't get out of the car because the child lock was on.

Speaker 4 I had to climb over the center console into the front seat of my below-average starter vehicle, Toyota Corolla, and then my son told me he had to poop.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a dad problem. So, you put your son in a flood.
Yeah, sounds a lot like the first person. Yeah, it sounds bad.
That sounds bad. All right, let's do one more.

Speaker 1 You got this, Hank? Can you imagine if Noah, just instead of an Arc, had just a Toyota Corolla?

Speaker 1 Yo, guys, everyone get in. I I only got real drive.
Only got room for insects. CD player.
Six disc changer. The world's going to be filled with insects and small lizards.

Speaker 1 My Avalon had a six disc changer. Talk about luxury.
I had one of those in the back of my Volvo.

Speaker 1 Oh, the machine you had to put in there? Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's pretty sweet. God damn it.
That's a big time. Like, kids don't even know.

Speaker 1 And it took like six minutes for it to change from one. You need to literally get out of the car and go to the trunk to put in new CDs.
All right.

Speaker 4 This is a good one.

Speaker 1 Sup PMT, but especially PFT.

Speaker 4 I made an impulse decision and bought a puppy last week because I thought she was cute. Now I don't have time for literally anything.

Speaker 4 She bites everything in my house, shits all over the floor, and listens to nothing I say.

Speaker 4 I know once I'm through the puppy stage, I'll be happy with the impulse decision, but for now it's overwhelming. PFT, did you get Leroy when he was a puppy?

Speaker 4 And do you have any advice on taking care of a pup?

Speaker 1 I did. I rescued him when he was a puppy from his parents.
Yep, that were in a breeding. I rescued him from his parents.

Speaker 1 And the best advice I can give you about owning a puppy is just take it with you everywhere that you can and just hold it and walk with it.

Speaker 1 And people, you can walk into a lot of places that like I took mine to work all the time, take them out like nine times more often than you think that you have to take them out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, also, tip because I rescued Stella when she was nine months old. She was not house-strained.
That's probably why the family that gave her away gave her away.

Speaker 1 But get like roast beef or some kind of really good meat from the deli and just give your dog a little piece every time they go to the bathroom outside while they're going to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's how I got her house training. She would literally be peeing, eating roast beef out of my hand.
Kind of a weird visual now that I'm saying it, but that works.

Speaker 1 Well, it helps if you're like Big Cat and you just walk around raw dogging lunch

Speaker 1 like your Tommy Lasso and you happen to have that on you. But yeah, make a big deal out of it every time they go to the bathroom.
Also, leave your dog in front of a TV with sports on

Speaker 1 so that hopefully at one point your dog will acquire the sixth sense of breaking news. Yes.
And then one day his Instagram page will pay for your future son's tuition. That's perfect.
That's perfect.

Speaker 1 Okay, that is our show. We have

Speaker 1 David Spade and DeAndre Jordan on Monday. Big couple weeks coming up.
A little training camp stuff. We'll tweet it out if we're going somewhere.
We might be going somewhere. Come in to your sit down.

Speaker 1 Well, no, probably not your city. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I have a good, you're talking exactly to that guy? I have a good view. Okay, yeah, that guy, we are about his city.

Speaker 1 Particular listeners of this show, we will be in your city. Yeah, you, Tom, right now.
We're coming to your city. See you, buddy.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 It starts in June and ends in September. Friends we won't forget and nights we won't remember.

Speaker 2 When I think of winter, I start to lose my temper.

Speaker 1 It's lame.

Speaker 1 This is the song of the summer when things are funner. Turn it up loud, it'll make you feel younger.
Party all night and play out in the sun all day.

Speaker 1 This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker. A red-hot reason for a stone-cold stunner.
The song's about a season just cause we wanted to pay.

Speaker 1 There once was a man from Nantucket. His name was Dave, and he can't suck it.
He wanted a hint about the summer months, but we didn't wanna write too fucking punk.

Speaker 1 Summer's funk, you don't have to work yet. That's his special charm.

Speaker 1 So we outsourced all the lyrics to a side mirror and play farm. They wrote the song of the summer to when things are funner.
Turn it up loud, it'll make you feel younger.

Speaker 1 Party all night and play out in the sun all day.

Speaker 1 This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker. A red hot season for a snow cold starter.
It's talking about a season just cause we wanna get paid.

Speaker 1 Cause we wanna get paid.

Speaker 1 Cause we wanna get paid.

Speaker 1 Beer pong, flip cups, slip and slide. Making out with a girl and getting high.

Speaker 1 Eating pizza for every lunch. It's nothing Sunday scaries, it's a boozy brunch.
My friend pro class a celebrity. Cause his video made more schools IT.

Speaker 1 He chugged some fireball, he smoked a bomb. Then he turned the camera and he showed his mom.
Singing the song of the summer from when games are funner. Turn it on, cloud, it'll make you feel younger.

Speaker 1 Party all night and lay out in the sun all day.

Speaker 1 This is the song of the summer when everybody's stronger. A red hot wind for a snowball sunner.
The song's about about a season just cause we wanna get paid.

Speaker 1 Cause we wanna get paid.

Speaker 1 Cause we wanna get paid.

Speaker 1 Go down to the beach, drink fish with the crows. Did you see Pruden scored 21 trade goals?

Speaker 1 I got a new t-shirt, so skip the lecture. Cause you're talking to a female body inspector.
Meeting fancy food leads to diarrhea. Russia's within its rights to annex the crimea.

Speaker 1 When you go swimming, beware of sharks. We'll be drinking vodka with a full of carts.
And the fears with the boys, yeah. Fierce with the boys, yeah.
Here's with the boys, yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's with the boys, yeah. Here's with the boys, yeah.
Here's with the boys, yeah. Here's with the boys, yeah, here's with the boys, yeah.
Starts in June and ends in September.

Speaker 1 Friends we won't forget, and nights we won't remember. When I think of winter, I start to lose my temper or slame.

Speaker 1 This is the song of the summer, but when things are mutter, turn it up loud, it'll make you feel younger. Party all night, and play out in the sun all day.

Speaker 1 This is the song of the summer, but when things are drunker, a red hot reason for a stone-cold sunner. This song's about a season just cause we wanna get played.

Speaker 1 And we wanna get played!

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