Blake Griffin Comes In Studio To Accept His 2019 "Blake Of The Year" Award + Mt Rushmore Of "Athlete Traits You Wish You Had"

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have 2019 Blake of the Year, Blake Griffin in studio. We recap Blake of the Year, we recap NBA Free Agency, his thoughts on Chris Paul getting traded, a lot of stuff.
We also have Mount Rushmore of athlete traits that we would want in honor of Mariano Rivera's cutter. And he goes to the Baseball Hall of Fame 100% first time unanimous vote into the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Who's back of the week in a Monday? Hey, it's Rhea tricks in the office it's officially mini skort season and abercrombie has the ones to go out in their scarlet mini is a classic it's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans and i'm excited to style their new sienna skort it's a little more flirty and it's perfect for date night make plans plans to go out in Abercrombie, shop their

newest arrivals in store and online. Okay, let's go.
And then a lot of stuff Work to be done No place to hang I love washing And then I can't Play all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna Rock down to Electric Avenue And It's Part of My Take, presented by Bob Screams.

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Today is Monday, July 22nd, and fuck J.B. Holmes.

Fuck him.

Fuck that guy.

Brooks Koepka would have won. He ruined the Open Championship.
Ruined it. Not the British Open because it was in Northern Ireland this year.
Slowest player ever. Very slow.
And he shot an 87. Yes.
So if you're going to be that slow and shoot an 87, that's an issue. That's like if we were doing a podcast and every time it was my turn to talk, I gargled with salt water.
with salt water i made you wait for me uh did a rail of coke off the desk and then when i tried to talk i just puked blood everywhere yeah that's i mean that's jb holmes that's what he was doing and look should in 87 at least at least speed it up a little bit we probably buried the lead shane lowry was fantastic he won it for the nation of ireland even though that was kind of weird that they like they you know even revel was like yeah uh jay or shane lowry people didn't back him the hometown hero it's like northern ireland and ireland are not the same place he's from southern ireland right that's like the sec country of ireland he's from middle ireland actually exactly they boil their potatoes instead of fry them down there so he was awesome he also shout out to him for being a fat guy and wearing it well i'm always nervous when a fat guy i like that that's your takeaway well he did here's the thing he was wearing a vest he looked good in the vest he's a fat guy and whenever i watch a fat guy like play do anything i'm saying to myself he's gonna tire it eventually like eventually he's not gonna want to keep walking around and i thought that was gonna happen on sunday i thought he was just gonna be like this fucking sucks my body can't handle this but he was he held on the course he's a big boy he's got like a defensive coordinator's body yeah just like you know that he's there's an athlete inside there somewhere but he's not trying to show everybody up by walking around with a six-pack and his caddy was like looked equally as irish as he did and you just assume that anytime they got into trouble they just cracked a couple jokes and like yeah it's fine we're good yeah so uh but yeah shane lowry was phenomenal the course was the true winner though awesome on sunday the course showed up when it mattered in prime time here are some fun stats here the uh the 11th hole averaged a 4.352 which is it was It was a par 3? No, it wasn't. The 11th was a par 4.
Wait, it averaged a 3.52? No, a 4.352. 4.352, okay, got it.
The 11th hole dominated. That hole won the weekend, and then the 14th hole was also pretty good.
I love i love british open courses it looks like they just drive tanks across them and plant uh weird grass that their feral horses eat just in the middle of fairway well the best part about the british open is you it's the one golf championship where you can watch it and you can in the back of your head you're like maybe i could have made that shot because half of the good shots are just hitting it somewhere and then watching it roll for 30 yards. Just insanely lucky shots.
Yeah, that wasn't really – like it was obviously a phenomenal shot, and I know I couldn't actually make any of those shots. But the idea of all these shots just rolling, I can actually make a ball roll.
And sometimes when you shank it in the right spot, it just feeds down to the green. Right.
Yeah, you're right. It's one of those courses you look at and you're like, it rewards shitty golfers.
So that's actually a pretty good spin zone of why Blake Koepka didn't win. He's too good.
He's too good for the course. And J.B.
Holmes, the slowest fucking guy in the world. Mostly J.B.
Holmes, yeah. But J.B.
Holmes did it to himself. So he shot at 87 and he went, by the way, this is not to criticize you at all, Jake, but I needed you to have this tweet.
I needed you to have this tweet. Revell had it.
J.B. Holmes was going to win $718,000 if he had kept his position as third place when the day started.
He finished third to last, and he won $25,000. So he lost so much money.
He lost like $690,000. And he cost Kepka $700,000 as well.
So that's tough. Yeah, it was kind of like an underwhelming open championship, I'd say.
Yeah, and they had to move it up because of the rain. And it felt a little like at noon when it ended.
And it really ended earlier than that because Shane Lowry ran away with it i just i'm choosing not to believe in time zones anymore every major sporting event should take place uh to best suit whatever time zone i'm currently in correct at that moment like i i don't like uh an open championship a major championship ending before i've had lunch right right it was felt a little too early and uh should we mention tiger because tiger uh-oh tiger yeah i mean credit to tiger being smart enough to uh just not make the cut so everyone forgets he didn't make the cut and we don't talk about him on sunday like hey tiger really tiger would have got his ass kicked by the course on sunday oh it would have been sad but are we now doing i've seen this debate kind of pop up was the masters a fluke was it a fluke is tiger never going to be is you know what if it's a one-timer that's fine i have no problem no it was an unbelievable moment yeah we had our moment that's that's what i'm concerned about when it comes to golf i always find it weird how how people can be individual fans of a single like golfer or a race car driver hardcore burst kapka stance no i would say that we're friends no we're like we are yes we are we we are brooks kepka we literally started the show saying fuck jb but it's it's always funny how like there are phil guys out there you know like i just i just root for phil by the way phil intermittent fasting yeah he sucked ever since he got skinny he is he's lost the man boobs entirely you were talking about like that dad bod that you have to have to wait. No, he looks weird.
Let me defend him here. Anyone who is overweight has dabbled in intermittent fasting.
I tried it for a little bit because everyone basically says, you can eat whatever you want. You just can only eat for five hours a day.
Well, I tried it, and I ate whatever I wanted for five hours a day, and I think I gained weight. I intermittent fasting on Friday night because i accidentally selected pickup instead of delivery on my seamless order brutal and so yeah fire fest the week i intermittent fasted for uh three hours damn that's tough it was very tough but back to tiger i i agree with you pft like we had the masters moment that was an unbelievable moment that was an unbelievable sports weekend but i think a lot of tiger fans thought that he was going to be competitive in every single tournament after that i just don't know if his body can he looked every bit his age and maybe even older on uh thursday when he teed off and he did the wince because of his back yeah and he also did the old guy move when your dad gets old and sit in and like his bones hurt because of cold and rain when it rains, my knees hurt, that's an old guy move.
Yeah, you can feel a storm coming. That's not good for a golfer.
Because you've got screws in your neck. You've got fusion surgery.
Yeah, Tiger didn't play well. But you're right.
We don't really remember Tiger missing the cut because he didn't flame out spectacularly. He just was there.
We all remember Rory missing the cut because he shot a 65 on Friday and in possibly the best miscut performance of all time in the open. Here's the nice thing, though, with Rory.
I saw them mention this a few times over the weekend. He's from Northern Ireland.
Yeah, for the few Northern... Antonio Gates played basketball.
Northern Ireland, guys. When he didn't make the cut, they kept on talking about him glowingly on Saturday and Sunday because he helped get the tournament there.
Yeah. So that was a big deal.
Like, if you're not going to make the cut, at least be the guy who helped get the tournament back in Northern Ireland because people will just talk about how awesome you are for the rest of the weekend. There were also three or four other guys.
It was Graham McDowell. Yeah, it was a big, like, thank you for bringing this event to our country.
Yes. Like, putting Northern Ireland back on the map.
Yeah, big time on the map. Deming Liam Neeson, yeah.
Huge. What else? How about the guy that was presenting the Claret Jug at the end, just not having an entire bottom set of teeth? That was weird, but that was also very Irish.
No, I liked it. It gave a little color to it.
I could kick a field goal through his mouth. Shane Lowry, big time hugger.
I think he hugged everyone in Northern Ireland after that tournament. But, yeah, that was – besides that, all we've had in the sports world is it's too fucking hot.
It's very, very hot. I bet every over in baseball this weekend thinking that the heat would help it, and it didn't.
What was your logic on that? Well, I mean, the ball just goes out farther when it's hot. When it's hot outside? Yeah, yeah.
Is that true? Yes, it is. The air is thinner? Yes.
Is that true? Does the air get thinner? The ball does move when everything's just hotter. Doesn't the humidity make it wetter? We'll get our science department here.
Everything just flies out. But it didn't happen.
It was a dry heat, Hank. Not here.
Not here. Not here it wasn't.
Shoot. It was wet as fuck.
There is nothing worse. I was telling Liam, I went to walk Stella at like 1030 on Saturday night, and it was 93 degrees.
Yeah, it sucks. It just hits you.
You know what? It's one of the top five worst feelings in the world, just walking outside when it's dark and hot. Yeah.
I can deal with the sun in the day, but at nighttime, I'm stepping out there. There's no sun.
It's hot. It fucks with your brain.
Why? Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yes.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
If the sun is actually hot, then how come it's 90 degrees when it's dark outside? Yes. Bitch.
I saw a guy today. I walked when I was walking in this neighborhood.
A guy was just puking blood on the sidewalk. And I was like, what's up? Are you okay, man? He's like, it's hot.
That's just this neighborhood. But he's just, it was, his answer was it's hot.
The heat just made him puke blood. Right.
I'd rather be pissing blood like a normal guy instead of puking it by the way how's that thank you for everyone who reached out i've been clear for three days i think i'll try to get a physical but no emergency uh let's be real uh pissing blood you should if if any of our listeners are pissing blood go probably go get it checked out i'm i'm telling big cat specifically not to it checked out. I'm Charles Barkley.
I know his body. I know Big Cat's body.
Through three years of podcasting, we know how the other person responds physically. You're fine.
I'm fine. This is like number five on the list of physical ailments that you should get checked out.
I have a lot of other things that I've been dealing with. Bad elbow, some knee stuff.
They call it blogging elbow. I texted.
I was texting with Dan Heron on Friday. He says, you know, well, no, he actually texted me because he was nervous about the blood.
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Heron, big time name. But I said I pulled a Dan Heron not going to the doctor.
And he said, yeah, the body heals itself or just pray that you die in your sleep. I mean, that's a good spin zone.

Yes.

That's Dan Heron who just refused to get a new hip.

I was FaceTiming with Chris Long last night.

Oh, nice.

And he just hit me up and he was like, hey, I'm with a guy.

Dan Heron is not a sick brag name.

It's like the lowest of sick brag names.

I literally got a FaceTime from Chris Long and then I didn't pick it up because I was

doing other things.

I was at a bar and then another sick brag. Oh, wow.
You were having a really nice thing. And then I saw 10 minutes later that he tweeted, like, nothing sucks worse than FaceTiming somebody and them not answering it.
So he hit me with a suck tweet that nobody else even understood. You know what? The only thing that sucks more than that is the friend who always FaceTimes.
Yes. That's the fucking worst.
Well, no, you have to have one facetime friend everyone has one in the rolodex that would rather facetime do you know that you know like 20 year olds they don't text they facetime that's weird it's fucking crazy caleb used to do that all the time our co-worker caleb we had to get him out of that he he would just facetime me randomly like just text me yeah it's always like when you see the FaceTime thing come up, and let's just say you're hanging on your apartment shirtless or you're getting changed or something, you always think that they can see you even though it's just ringing. Well, they can.
And I hide my phone. I'm like, no, I'm nude.
The FaceTime friend is the worst. If you are the FaceTime friend, all your other friends hate you.
Just know that. I like having one.
No. Having one of them is okay.
But they all hate you. They you they all hate the facetime friend you can have one but they all in when they get together and you're not there they're like yeah billy keeps facetiming us and it's so fucking annoying this nasty big facetime guy big facetime huge face time just which is weird because like with a nose like that i don't think i would ever want anybody to see my face he does that dino filter so you don't have to see his face.
Should we do our Mount Rushmore? Who's back? He's going to kick my ass. Hank, you decide.
Let's do who's back. All right.
Let's do who's back. Then why don't you start, Hank? I got a few.
The first one is shorts because of the humidity. Yes.
Big weekend for shorts. Great weekend for bird dogs because it's hot, but you don't want to put on boxers.
Although we went to Rough and Rowdy in North Carolina and Hank dressed for the flight

like it was the middle of winter.

Full sweatshirt, sweatpants.

You gotta layer up on a plane.

You gotta get comfortable. You know I'm gonna fall asleep.

My other who's back of the week was me

because I don't know if you guys saw us over the weekend.

Jeff Fisher, good friend, reoccurring guest

was in Alaska. He was out there fishing

and I tweeted at him. I said, hey coach

do you think that I could catch a fish with my

bare hands in an Alaskan river? And he said

absolutely. I would love to see it.

Thank you. was in Alaska.
He was out there fishing. And I tweeted at him.
I said, hey, coach, do you think that I could catch a fish with my bare hands in an Alaskan river? And he said, absolutely. I would love to see it.
Let's make it happen. Okay.
Let's send Hank on a little fishing excursion with Jeff Fisher. Yes.
Do you believe him now? No. I believe that Jeff Fisher can catch a fish with his bare hands.
How long do you get to test it? A day. We said a day.
One day. Okay.
One Alaskan day. One Alaskan day.

Now, define catch.

Two hands.

Complete the process of catch.

Two hands, one knee.

Catch it out of the water, kill it, eat it.

Oh, shit. While it's swimming.

So you're going to murder a fish with your bare hands?

Not half dead.

Hell yeah.

All right.

We're talking about, yeah, I'm trying to be a bear.

I'm trying to fish like a bear.

Yes.

That's the original.

No, you have to eat it raw.

Okay.

You're going to catch a fish and suffocate it with your bare hands, just holding it out of the water. You think that you're going to be able to hang out to like a 20-pound salmon? Just bear hug it.
That's how they do it. Exactly.
That's where bear hug came from. Okay.
Any others? I know it's it. All right.
That was good. Hank's back.
Thank you. Big time.
My who's back of the week is football.

Yeah.

Football is officially back.

We've got training camps starting.

We've got training camp tweets starting.

We've been inundated with so many pictures of Joe Flacco and his cool hair.

Reporters out in Denver can't believe that he actually has decent hair.

This is the last week that we will not have a football game until 2020.

That's that.

I just got hard on it.

Let that set in for the people at home.

I just peed blood into my own.

That's pretty good.

Hard right now.

That's pretty good.

My also all or nothing's back.

So on Amazon,

I was watching the story,

but not a free ad.

No,

not a free ad,

but it's the Carolina Panthers this year.

And my big takeaway so far is you get to see all of Cam Newton's outfits,

which you forget just how ridiculous they get.

Especially after a loss.

After a loss.

How jacked is McCaffrey?

McCaffrey, fairly jacked.

Greg Olson is coming.

Greg is hamming it up for the cameras.

Greg, you're a friend of the program.

You're going to get a job, Greg.

You're good looking.

You knew the cameras were on the entire time,

and you were doing your little stories, your little jokes. You came across so fucking charming and likable.
Did he J.J. Wadden? No, no.
Okay. No, he actually came across very likable, which is what's so infuriating.
Okay. Because he's, you know, just chill out, Greg.
Yeah. Maybe say some dumb shit every once in a while so that everybody doesn't think that you're perfect.
Well, we have the rap. Oh, yeah.
We do have the rap. We'll always have the rap.
We'll always have the rap. And also, his foot just keeps breaking.
That's just like a recurring. It sucks for him.
But it's like every other episode, he's dealing with a different foot injury. And it's like the 10.
His foot is like less stable than, let's see, Rick Bradley. Yours? Oh.
I only broke it once, Hank. And he got surgery.
And I got surgery I didn't need. So as a fellow foot injury survivor, I can make these jokes amongst my community.
Yeah, no, it's just bad foot. And then my other who's back of the week is Devin Kajust.
So he is starting a crystal workshop in West Los Angeles. Nice.
So if we have any West LA listeners that want to attend a crystal healing workshop with Devin Kajust, you can look him up and attend and let us know how that goes. Let's see if we can get him here.
Maybe give it to us live on air. Yeah, we should.
Hey, Devin Kajus, let's have a little crystal sesh. Let's do it.
I'm not talking about math. Alright, my who's back, similar to yours PFT, fantasy football and specifically the commissioner sending the email trying to get everyone to lock down a draft date a month and a half in advance.
Yep. That is back.
If you haven't gotten gotten that yet your commissioner is not doing his job because there's always much like the facetime guy he is my facetime guy there's one guy who who is just chomping at the bit for football to be back and sends out that email is like hey how what's everyone's availability on august 25th it's like dude i don't know and then you've got one guy that responds like really quickly to email saying, Can't do it. Saying, can't do the 25th unless we do it before 5 p.m.
Yeah, right. And then it just becomes this long email adjusting times and dates over and over.
Just auto-draft. You know what it is? It is chain email season.
Yeah. It is mass email season because you've got fancy football starting and bachelor parties that are starting to get planned.
I've got to plan a bachelor party. Yeah.
So that's tough. Good luck.
That's tough for me. Hopefully there will be a lot of drugs.
No, no drugs. I feel like you guys – I want to get out in front of this because somehow I got labeled as the drug guy on this podcast.
Well, somehow I got labeled as the anti-vaxxer, so it happens. Despite the fact that I've only done MDMA once on camera.

But yeah, I'm not a drug guy.

I dabble recreationally in some of the more legal drugs.

It's funny because you probably smoke seven times the weed that I do.

Right.

But you and Hank both. Do you want to tell the reason why we started the drug guy thing?

The statement?

I don't even remember.

It just got out of hand.

You came back from Netherlands and you said. No, no, no.
You were saying after the Hong Kong video, you were like, oh, don't call me a drug guy. I'm not a drug guy.
And then there was a pause and you're like, so I'm going to leave July 1st for Amsterdam. Is that cool? And then when you got back from Amsterdam, you're like, have you guys ever been to a museum on mushrooms? Have you been? Like, what? Drug guy? The only performance enhancing drug I'm on, I use PEDs.
day there you go uh all right my other who's back is uh hating greg hardy because he had a fight on saturday night universally the most hated guy in the world in a ring this time yes in a ring yes uh i don't understand so he beat the guy in i don't know 20 seconds then he licked his own blood um i don't understand why d White, like, this can be an easy win for you. There are so many guys that could kick his ass, and he keeps fighting tomato cans.
Have Francis Ngannou just beat the fuck out of him. I think Dana just doesn't want to give him the publicity on UFC.
Yeah, Stipe Miocic, he'd kick his ass. Just give us someone who can beat the fuck out of Greg Hardy, and the whole internet will come together.
How about just like a Royal Rumble style? You get Lesnar, Jon Bones Jones, and Stipe in the ring at the same time. Daniel Cormier would make him suffer.
Yeah. Yeah.
So do it, Dana. I'm sick of watching Greg Hardy win.
It just sucks. It does.
All right. Should we do our Mount Rushmore?

Let's get it.

All right.

So this is in honor of Mariano Rivera being the first unanimous baseball

Hall of Fame inductee, which is so, so funny.

So, so funny that that happens because it's shout out to all the baseball

writers that are just, hey, Greg Maddux, not 100%.

As an aspiring baseball Hall of Fame voter, I just want to say that I'm

disgusted by it.

Nobody should ever be unanimous.

Ever.

You should be writers that are just as a Greg Maddox not 100% as an aspiring baseball Hall of Fame voter I just want to say that I'm disgusted by it yeah nobody should ever be you never you should always use that vote on like a pitcher named the gentleman curly uh Bill Walter curly long legs from 1904 yeah he threw he threw uh 70 innings in a doubleheader yeah and not a single pitch over 45 miles an hour. Okay, so in honor of Mario Rivera and his cutter, we're doing Mount Rushmore of athlete traits.
Is that what we're going to say? Yeah, tributes. Yeah, you pick something that an athlete has that you would love to have.
Who goes first? Who's our Monday first? I go first. And then it's me second? Fuck.
Okay. Thank you, Jake.
Very cool. Okay.

Well, I guess I will.

I didn't know I was going first.

All right. Then I'll start.

No, actually, this is easy.

I'll start with Michael Jordan's competitive drive.

Okay.

That will be my number one.

Okay.

A little bit of pander, but that's fine.

That's not a pander.

That can lead to people's death, but that's cool.

Oh, whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

No, I didn't say Michael Jordan's gambling addiction.

How do you think that started?

Yeah.

No.

With the fire this morning.

Damn, Hank.

Hank, it's too early in the morning.

I'm just saying, if you don't think his competitive drive has something to do with that. Contentious.
Are you talking about the aliens that he killed? Yeah, that's it. Okay, good.
That's what he meant by that. Michael Jordan's competitive drive, number one.
I'm going to go with Nick Foles' dick. Okay.
Right off the bat. I feel like that's a big steal.
I mean, you want to talk pander. No, I'm just saying.
I'll just do Nick Foles' dick, Vesante Shanko's dick. No, you only get one.
J.R. Smith.
You only get one. Yeah, his dick might have some issues, though.
Pablo Sandoval. No, no, not Pablo Sandoval.
Juan Uribe. Juan Uribe's got a huge fucking dick.
Juan Uribe's unit. Huge dick.
And I'll wind it up with DeAndre Hopkins' dick, too. Okay, so you have Nick Foles' dick.
Yeah. I will go with Secretariat's Heart.
Oh, that's a good pick. And Usain Bolt's speed.
Yeah, two good picks. You would die, though, if you had Secretariat's Heart.
That's true. Not with that attitude.
Pump that blood so hard through your system would just explode your veins. Okay.
Didn't happen for him. He was the greatest horse who ever lived.
That's true. Good point.
Best athlete of all time. True.
True. PFT.
Okay. My second one, I'm going to go with...
See, he already did the heart thing. I'm going to go Danny Woodhead's heart.
Okay. Interesting.
Strike that. No, no, no.
I think, no, no, I think that counts Okay I was just going to switch it to grit His heart, Danny Woodhead's heart He's got a big heart He's the secretariat of running backs I will go with My second pick, I'll go with Tony Gwynn's Eyes Ability to not strike out You don't think they're decomposed? Okay. I mean, Secretariat's dead.
Oh, yeah. Good point.
Alright, so I actually, friend of the program, Ryan Spader, Ace of Spader, if you don't follow him, he's got the best stats ever. So I just want to throw out a couple of Tony Gwynn stats because they're always fun to talk about.
Tony Gwynn would have to go 0 for 1,183 to dip below 300 all time that's insane okay early early pmt remember we did fake tony gwynn stats yeah he's believed if you don't go down a rabbit hole of tony gwynn stats and again the ace of spader on twitter has the best it's unbelievable 323 played appearances against maddox glavin smoltz pedro he batted 373 with three strikeouts. He never struck out looking more than nine times in a season.
He had more four-hit games, 45, than multi-strikeout games, 34. And his career batting average, 338, is better than eight of the last nine NL batting champs.
So that's just one season that they won the NL batting title. He had a better career.
And in 1987, he could have gone 0 for 56 in addition to his season, and he still would have won the batting title. And he was going to hit 400 in the strike short season.
Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you, go down. Yeah, he is incredible if you go down all the the uh he had one three strikeout game in his entire career all-time ass guy too all-time ass big old butt so his vision all right my that's my uh number two i'll go number three i'll go kareem skyhook it's a unblockable it's a unblockable the unblockable shot i mean if you if you specialized in it you you can make one happen.
Listen, it's like all I try now. Whenever I have a basketball in my hand, I just take sky hooks because it's like, this is the only thing I could probably still maybe do.
Yeah. And I can't.
It's funny. Like, unless you have Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's exact body type.
Right. So unless you're Dalsim, then you look like a weirdo when you're doing the sky hook.
Yes. Even the kid at Michigan this year that was working on it was really good at it.
Right. He still looked awkward as fuck when he was doing it because it's not Kareem.
Unblockable. All right, PFT, what do you got? So for my third pick, I'm going to— Wait, you just did two? Yeah, I did two.
Tony Gwynn's eyes or ability to not strike out and Kareem's sky hook. Okay, I'm going to go with Marshawn Lynch's stiff arm.
Okay. Specifically the one from the Beastquake on Tracy Porter.
Yep, yep. I will go with Pat Mahomes' arm.
Ooh, so you didn't want to go like Marino, Elway, Jamarcus Russell. I'm just throwing this out there.
Josh Allen. I'm not saying it's a wrong answer.
Dan Marino is like a billion years old. I never saw him play.
I never saw him play. I never saw him play.
I never saw John Elway play either. Odell threw the ball like 90 yards.
That's sad. That's sad what you just said.
Only thing I know from Dan Marino is the conversation he had in the van. If you want to talk about crazy stats, look up Dan Marino's last game ever.
Maybe the worst quarterback performance of all time. That game where they lost like 70-0 against the Jags in the playoffs.
I also feel like with modern medicine and Chip Mahomes probably has a stronger arm. Yeah, no, no.
It's fair. I wrote down arms, but I actually wrote down like three arms because I couldn't decide.
My last one, I would go with Ken Griffey Jr.'s swing. That's good, Hank.
good hey yeah i had that on my list here that's good um do you think kids these days like are familiar with king griffey jr swing yeah yeah probably not no probably not he always gets brought up though i know look at it but they don't play the game they don't play king griffey jr baseball the problem with that is i feel like king griff Jr.'s swing is better to watch than it is to do. Yes.
I like watching King Griffey Jr.'s swing. A sweet lefty swing.
If you had it. Yeah.
A sweet lefty swing is the best. All right, PFT, you're last.
Okay. I'm going to go with Rose Lavelle's dog.
Okay. That fucking pit bull.
Or the bulldog. Just having the dog? I would just want the dog, yeah.
You didn't take this Mount Rushmore series. What? You don't want...
Are you anti-dog? No. We didn't add for the ASPCA.
I'm fine with dogs. I have a list of things that I want over Roosevelt's dog.
No offense to her dog. That's fine.
Her name's Wilma. Yeah, I know.
It's easy to name a bulldog. Okay, my last one, I'll go with Allen Iverson's Handles.
That's my last pick. That yeah crossovers yeah what uh what do we have i have a list of a ton that we i had i had missed rob gronkowski's brain on here because he's just happiness always happy his brain is a drug yes uh jerry rice's route running yeah randy moss's catch radius hakeem's dream shake i always wanted to have that Gerald Green's jumping ability.
Gerald Green's route running. Yeah.
Randy Moss's catch radius. Hakeem's dream shake.
I always wanted to have that. Gerald Green's jumping ability.
Gerald Green's jumping ability. Vince Carter's dunking.
Would you go Steph Curry's shot or Ray Allen's? Ray Allen. I'd probably go Ray Allen's too.
It's just so automatic. The same every time.
I would actually go with Michael Red's. Ray Allen's tweeting ability.
He has tweeting ability for sure. Javi Baez's drip.
Javi Baez is drip. He has swag.
His tag. His tagging.
He had a no-look tag this weekend. Really? I love the no-look tag.
It was maybe his best ever. Messi's free kicks.
Okay. Ronaldo's ability.
Roberto Carlos free kicks, I would take. Ronaldo's ability to score from three feet away and have everyone call him the goat for it.
Yeah. Ronaldo's weird Adam's apple that's definitely not the product of doping.
Let's see. Ricky Henderson's speed.
Barry Sanders' elusiveness. Putin's goal-scoring ability.
Putin's goal-scoring ability is a good one. Elite skater.
Barry Bond's on-base percentage. I looked up that, too.
He's another one of those guys where you can get lost in a wormhole of lifetime stats. All right, so I got a couple for you.
Okay, hit me. From 2001 to 2004, his on-base percentage, 515, 582, 529, 609 in 2004.
Barry Bonds got on base six out of ten times. That's incredible.
And then Ryan Spader, who is the king of all stats, had this one too. Barry Bonds hit a major league record 762 home runs.
If all of his home runs were strikeouts,

he would still have both a higher on-base percentage and a lower strikeout percentage

than Willie Stargell, Reggie Jackson, Mike Schmidt,

Sammy Sosa, and Alex Rodriguez.

That's fucking crazy.

All 762 being strikeouts.

That's crazy.

John Boyce at SB Nation did something about Barry Bonds

a couple years ago where it was, what if Barry Bonds had played baseball without a bat? Like if he had just gone up to the plate with no bat in his hand. He walked him with the bases loaded.
Yeah, and he still would have had like a higher on-base percentage than 99% of people that have ever played the game. Wayne Gretzky's vision or playmaking ability.
Yeah, that's solid. I wrote as a homer pick Patrick Kane'sane's puck handling uh andrew reed's clock management just for fun like just for laughs uh this one's just as a goof yeah tom brady's clutch gene i wrote i had so i had the drew breeze accuracy tom brady's longevity uh i would go i would rather have fitzpatrick's longevity like being able to be such a streaky guy and just stick around all the time.
Dude, Tom Brady tweeting out that this is year 20 was such a mind fuck. Unreal video, too.
Actually, Ryan Fitzpatrick's beard. Yeah, that too.
This one's a deep cut that only a few real ones will know. Sam Young's pump fake from Pitt.
Remember him? He used to do the pump fake where he got all the way on his toes, his tippy toes. It would pump you out of your seat.
If you looked it up, you would know it. You'd be like, oh yeah, I remember this.
It was early, maybe early 2000s. Oh, DeJuan Blair.
DeJuan Blair. His ass.
He had a big old ass. Al Jefferson's ass.
Remember Frank Kaminsky said it was the biggest ass he's ever had to play against? What was his name? Zeebo's ass. Yeah, Zeebo's ass.
Let's see. Sean Mays' ass.
What else did I have? Oh, Devin Hester's kick returning. I thought that was probably too cheap because it's like a lot of skills.
Yeah. Ricky Henderson's speed.
I'll go Carlin Isle's speed. Okay.
It's part of the future. Paul Rabel's vision.
Yeah. To start a new league.
Uh-huh. That's what it really really is Merton Hanks' neck You remember that touchdown dance Yes Incredible Hardest hitter I was between Because obviously you could be like Dick Buckus or Night Train Lane But Ronnie Lott or Ray Lewis Sean Taylor Sean Taylor Sean Taylor, Ronnie Lott Darren Sharper, problematic Hardest hitter league.
Yeah, but still, he'll get unanimous to the Hall of Fame. Peter King has his way.
Yes, yes. Peter King has him.
All right, I'm sure we missed a bunch, so tweet us the ones that we missed. Yeah, I think I got all of my list.
It would be cool to make the whole player. Just a cyborg.
Just a big mishmash of all these people. Yeah.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, here he is, Blake Griffin.
All right, we now welcome on, it's heavy to say, but 2019 Blake of the Year.

It is Blake Griffin.

Your victory lap, you've been on, I saw you at Disney World.

You have been in parades.

You're now in New York City partying.

And I just want to say congratulations again.

Welcome to the new studio that we have not done anything new with.

And it's great to have you here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's been a bit of a whirlwind, obviously.

Yeah.

But I don't know, man.

Just trying to soak it all in and enjoy this moment because not a lot of Blakes get to live this.

That's very true.

That is true.

How has your life changed since winning Blake of the Year?

True story.

I was walking here and a guy goes, Blake. And I look over, he goes, Blake of the Year, baby, 2.8.
I was like, yep, get that money, baby. How many random people have come up to you? So many.
I was on a flight when the Blake of the Year came out, and when I landed in Atlanta, you would have thought I had just literally won like a low Division II championship. Yeah, that's pretty much what it is.
The city of Atlanta. Yeah.
So, you know, I just get recognized everywhere. Yeah.
We were talking before we started taping, and you seem a little bit salty. I think you were talking this over with Big Cat before I came in the room, but you seem a little upset that we had given Blake Bortles so much of an opportunity to reclaim his title, to defend it.
Yeah, it wasn't just that. It was just that you specifically did this whole, like, hey, Blake, if it was the seven-Blake series, I still think you would have had it.
Like, all right, man, it's not. If the Super Bowl was played, no.
You're right. It's not a lifetime achievement in Blake.
It is Blake of the Year. It's okay.
You won. I mean, I can't take that away from you.
Congratulations. We just like Florida Blakes.
We have a type. And it's Florida Blakes.
We like the Mimbos. I get it.
You're an Oklahoma Blake. That's the Florida of Tornado Alley.
Yeah. You have a little more.
You have maybe a little higher IQ than the Mimbos and the Florida Blakes. I'll take that.
There's something about the Florida Blakes. They just have a little panache that you just can't.
You know, they don't practice. They go out there.
They wing it. And that's just what they are.
But you are the Blake of the Year. By the way, Blake Shelton followed me, so he's trying to get in on it.
Which is bad for you. Fellow Oklahoman.
Is he? Really? We're going to have to do a team Blake of the Year. Blake of the Union.
I think you should keep it Blake of the Year, and then we'll do the whole road rules challenge thing. Florida versus Oklahoma.
Florida versus Oklahoma. That's a nice spinoff.
That's like the meth cook-off championship of the world, too. Yes.
All right, so, Blake, you're here. You're going to go to Montreal after this.
You're doing a Just for Laughs comedy set on Thursday night. Yeah.
My charity event every year is like a comedy charity event. So I have like five comedians come.
In the past, we've had like John Mulaney, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, some really, really awesome comedians. And this year, I partnered with Just for Laughs in Montreal.
Oh, nice. So on Thursday night in Montreal, I will be doing my set.
Yes. Go ahead.
Tell us a joke from it. Knock, knock.
No, I don't. Just one joke.
No, no, no. You're funny.
I have to stand up. It has to be a comedy.
Okay, everyone pretend they're drunk. And here he is, Blake Griffin, the funniest man in Montreal.
What's up with this Blake of the Year stuff, huh?

Alright, you want to talk some free agency? That was This League,

dude. This League, baby.
This League. So,

wait, where were you caught talking with

TMZ about Kawhi? Was that

outside? Oh, I was at the comedy store in LA

and this guy was just like, hey, you mind if I ask you some

questions about

Kawhi? It had just happened. My friend

was on stage and I was with

one of my other boys here

and it broke while he was on stage and we just

Thank you. questions about uh kawai it just happened while my friend was on stage and uh i was with one of my other boys here and it broke while he was on stage and we just completely did not watch any of his set we were just like falling along we're like oh kawai paul george and then he came off i was like that was great man yeah yeah this guy just like caught me i don't know and you said uh do you do you feel a little bad that the late the clippers are like doing all this stuff when your numbers retired in that in that uh stable center no i mean that's something they can never take away from me that's true retiring my number so uh no i mean i'm uh i feel fine i'm not i'm not mad about it they'll be fine it's whatever did kawai did kawaii call you to ask you to demand a trade you should have started that rumor kawai what? Yeah, because like Kevin Durant said, Kawhi called him.
And then Paul George, obviously Kawhi called Paul George. You should have been like, well, Kawhi called me, but I just love Detroit so much.
Oh, no, he did. I was just like, what? No, bro.
Yeah, come on. Fool me once.
Yes, yes, exactly. Shame on you.
Do you feel like you had a part in kind of bringing the Clippers to the point where now they're trying to be championship contenders? Like before Blake Griffin was there, the Clippers were always little brother out in L.A. They weren't really talked about.
You got there. You guys made it to the second round of the playoffs a lot.
And so it was like one of those like we're building the franchise. You helped to build the franchise.
I would assume maybe Steve Ballmer wouldn't have been interested in the Clippers if you weren't on that team playing in prime time in late May all the time. I always say you can't get to the third round if you don't get to the second round.
True. That was kind of our thing.
Taking control of the second round space. A lot of people are trying to really do, like, feel, like, a sense of, like, pride.
You know, I think we all kind of do. I think the way it ended, like, with everybody, kind of everybody going our separate ways was, like, obviously, like, a down point.
But, like, at the end of the day, man, like, before I got drafted there, people were telling me, like, do not go there. They'll ruin your career.
They're the worst franchise in sports the worst franchise in sports worst owner like you're gonna be a bust and like I went there and you know it worked out we you know we we started making the playoffs five consecutive years like 50 win seasons um and like I think it like I don't know I think we were a part of like putting that that franchise at least on the path and then um you know bomber came in and and um it is what it is today so i don't it wasn't just me it was a lot of us but it's really cool it's really cool something like doing something that you know you feel is bigger than yourself i was kind of joking but i am a little bit serious that i don't know that kawaii and paul george would have taken it as seriously as a destination free agency if there wasn't like a little bit of a track record of winning there recently. Yeah, I mean, yeah.
And, you know, you could say the Balmer thing. You could say, you know, the Sterling thing, I guess, had to happen.
Yeah, that was probably overdue. Yeah, it was a lot of things that happened.
And, you know, I agree. I think that we were part of that, changing that culture a little bit.
What about one of your teammates from the Clippers, Chris Paul? Was he part of it? No, no, no. Just like, what about? What do you want to know? Just talk.
He's in Oklahoma now. This is an open-ended question.
Chris Paul. Word association.
If you were to give Chris Paul some advice on what to expect in Oklahoma,

what would you tell him?

On what to expect in Oklahoma?

You know he's played there before because he got drafted in New Orleans.

Katrina happened.

They played in Oklahoma for two years.

Oh, I forgot about that.

He's no stranger to Oklahoma.

That's true.

But I've heard he's not actually going to play there.

Well, we don't know.

We don't know.

It's true.

Yeah.

We do not know. So thoughts? I don't know.
I just can't see him really. Thunder's not really in a position to be like a playoff team or at least contend.
So, I don't know if I see him staying there. I mean, at this point in his career, I'm sure the ring is the main objective.
Yes. I don't know.
I feel like they're going to have to move him somewhere. When are you going to start ring chasing? Or are you ring chasing right now with the Pistons? I am right now.
I am right now. That's true.
D. Rose, are you ready for that? Oh, yeah.
Great guy. Have you talked to him? I have.
Okay, good. I've known D.
Rose since high school. How does that work when you guys sign a guy, whether it was at the Clippers or the Pistons? Like, how quickly do you do the text? You don't want to seem like you're, you know, thirsty for a new teammate, but you also want to be welcoming.
Yeah, you like – I like give it a night. And then you always start with something like, sup.
And they're like, who's this? Oh, my fault. BG.
And they're like, BG who? Blake Griffin. And then you go into it like that.
You got to, like, really ease really ease into it this up is a good one maybe toss in a couple like casual emojis just make it yeah i will i've messed up before just going all in and seeming real thirsty yeah did not work you ready to get this yeah yeah that would be a little too much did you actually make any calls in free agency like doing any recruiting for the business i did i did a few calls a few texts a few work a few reaches reach reach outs um you know what i think i was over three this year who did you call you know what like one of them i literally i reached out and um literally 30 minutes later it was like oh so-and-so has signed with this team i was like all right well it was bad timing one name one guy't tamper retroactively. Yeah, you can't tamper retroactively.
He's a free agent. Do you know that for a fact? Yeah.
We actually do know that. I have a basketball agent in here.
Yeah. You're an agent? I knew I smelled a suit.
Do you ever do that? Like entourage? Get out of here, suit. Billy.
What's his name? Billy. He can say it.
I want to do my Medellin You reached out to You can give us initials And we'll just guess His name rhymes With Schmeth Breen Jeff Green Got it Okay Nice That was great He signed with Utah I texted him And literally I think like 30 minutes later It was like Jeff Green has signed with Utah Jazz. I was like, all right.
Damn, that would have been nice. That would have been nice.
So are you ever like amazed with how ridiculous the NBA free agency is? Because it really does. It is the best by far in any league.
And the this league and everyone changing. Like everyone going into next year, half these guys are all playing for new teams it feels like all the power has shifted around yeah i i actually think it's great for basketball i mean the parody in basketball now is like you can you can say a favorite but like i think golden state would have won this year if they were healthy yeah like no no question Yeah.
So I don't think you can really go into the season this year being like,

this team is going to win and the odds are stacked.

You know what I mean?

Right.

It's going to be, like, good for basketball.

Even, like, an East team.

You know what I mean?

Distance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Obviously.

For the Bulls. There will be some more.

That East team is looking pretty juicy. The Central Division in the Easton's.
Yeah, obviously. For the Bulls.
Maybe some more. That AC is looking pretty juicy.

The Central Division in the East is really stacked.

Milwaukee, us.

How are you feeling?

Are you feeling in the best shape of your life?

You got to say that.

Yeah, well, that's at media day.

Okay, yeah, that's true.

So at media day, you say, I worked my ass off this summer,

and I came into camp best shape of my life, and I'm just looking to make a statement to let everybody know. Were you nervous at all? That's actually good right there.
You should actually say that you gained 15 pounds of muscle too. Yeah, or dropped body fat.
Or dropped body fat. I'm like, 2.3 body fat.
Do you do anything different in the offseason? Because you've been in the league for a while now. It's like I would expect that you know what to do to train to get your body ready.
But do you change anything up? Not a lot. Like last summer was like a good amount of work.
So I normally start like lifting after like about a – I take like three to four weeks off and I start lifting. Lift for a while and I start doing basketball and I kind of like slowly work into it and I ramp up.
Like once August hits, I take it to another level. And then September, like it's pretty much full go until camp starts.
How sweet was that Ibiza booty party? You know what, man? It was chill. Were you pissed when those pictures came out? What is the thought process when TMZ gets you like that? You know what's crazy is I was still on the boat when the pictures came out.
Really? Yeah. It was like, whatever, 4 o'clock in Ibiza was like 9 a.m.
out here. Right.
You know, or whatever. Don't call me on that.
That sounds right. Yeah, that sounds whatever.
You're close enough. So we were still on the boat, and we were just all looking at it, laughing.
Best day ever. Yeah.
It's like. Wait, did you see the guy in a dinghy? No.
I mean, we saw guys when we were leaving, and we knew that the probability was high, but we didn't really like. No, we didn't see the people who were taking those pictures.
I'm just pissed that it wasn't during blake of the year week because it would have been great to see you with a phone in your hand while you were partying which i know you would have done a hundred percent without a doubt i would have for sure although now that you have one i don't know if you'll i feel like yeah you could rest on your laurels the fire burns within me even more now i mean the hardest thing in sports is to repeat is It's true. It's never been done.
No, it hasn't been done. How was France? Your little trip to France where you were like, oh, yeah, I got to go to Paris in the south of France in Monte Carlo.
I was chilling there with Michael Jordan. Oh, yep, yep, yep.
It was cool, I guess. We were just chilling.
Russ, me, Russ, Westbrook, some of the guys. it was cool i guess you know we're just chilling russ me russ westbrook uh some of the guys uh it was yeah it was a lot of fun we were there during fashion week and stuff and it was it was wild what's the what's the next fashion to come out of paris besides nasa t-shirts which are huge right now yeah uh the next fashion yeah i'm always looking ahead like last year it was the levi's shirt this year it's the nasa.
Yeah. What's next? What were they wearing there? Because I feel like Fashion Week, that's where it all starts.
I think, you know what's crazy? It's throwback jerseys are coming back. Ooh, nice.
Yeah, tall T's and throwback jerseys are coming back. Little Blake Griffin Clippers jersey? Blake Griffin Oklahoma jersey? Yeah, yeah, both.
That would work too. Both work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see what they said at Big 12 Media Day today? I know this is for football, but they were talking about the horns down, the Texas horns down thing.
Is that a penalty? So it was a penalty last year. This year they're leaving it up to the refs.
They're saying, like, as long as you're not doing it in your opponent's face, you can still do horns down amongst your teammates. So if, like, somebody next, like a player next to me is doing the horns down, I would just...
Yeah, put your face in it. Exactly, yeah.
Do you do horns down? Yeah, all the time. Like when I go back and play in Oklahoma, you know? Because it's the one thing that Oklahoma and Oklahoma State fans can agree with is like the horns down.
I like that. So when you go back to play with Oklahoma, are you saying like with Chris Paul? Say that again? Do you want to go back and play with Chris Paul in Oklahoma City? Well, right now I'm under contract to play for the Pistons.
Oh, yeah, that's true. I enjoy my time there.
But this league. This league, you never know what can happen in this league.
By the way, Petty Wars, I saw you liking tweets of people who are doubting your athleticism. Really? Yeah, someone was like, Blake Griffin has lost his athleticism and his power, and then you liked it.
When was this? Recently? I'm pulling it up right now. Check his likes.
I'm on there. Yeah, it's pretty recent.
I'm all over it. I'm under fire.
Huh, huh. Do you ever just want to be like, get a life, people? Yeah.
Like you're searching through my likes? Sometimes. Oh, to you guys? Yeah, us.
We have a life. No, no, I don't really care about that.
We give out awards to people with a certain name.

In the offseason, I definitely peruse through the mentions,

and I get a little petty in there sometimes for sure.

Yeah.

Real quick before I pull up your likes,

and then we grill you on those.

We talked about Zion a little bit last time

when we were in the back of the van.

Yeah.

You mentioned earlier, like, some people were in your ear

saying you don't want to go to the Clippers.

You don't want to play there.

Did it ever occur to you to do something and just say, like, I'm not going to play for the Clippers if they draft me? No, I actually didn't. A lot of people were saying that, and I just didn't really.
Did you ever read that deposition that Donald Sterling did? Yeah. I'll pull that up in a second.
We'll do a little Monday reading. All right, so let's read some of the likes.
I asked you, is this your handwriting? Yeah. Oh, let's see.
Oh, you liked Mason Ramsey's? If you don't got no giddy up, then giddy out my way. Yeah, I like that a lot.
Let's see. Let's see.
You liked a lot of Blake of the Year. Yeah, you know what? People were really making me feel special.
And I was on a plane, like I said, so I had a lot of time on my hands. I don't see any of the doubters.
No? Seriously? Did you unlike before you got here? Maybe I accidentally. Yes, that was it.
Yeah, you were like, they're going to probably get me. So...
Anything petty in there? Let's see. I'm looking.
Tom. Let's see.
You liked... You liked...
Oh, here's one. Here's a good one you were talking about the the trade that sent you to Detroit and somebody said worst trade in team history and you like that oh yeah here's one sexy little brunette bitch sucking and fucking her personal trainers big cock oh no that's not oh that was James Brown's tweet.
That was James Brown's tweet. James Brown tweeted that one out.
From damplips.com. Oh, boy.
I mean, you knew I was coming. I was like, oh, my gosh, they got my internet history.
Dude, James Brown, I love that tweet. I love that tweet so much.
It's one of my favorites. One of my favorites is.
Ray Allen? Yeah. Uh-huh.
That's a good one. It is.
Hank put together an awesome little Take On Me remix

with that as the lyrics.

Okay, here's the deposition.

You ready?

This is Donald Sterling, Under Oath.

Well, I fool around sometimes.

I do.

When a girl seduces me and tells me all those hot stories

and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me

and take my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me,

when I'm in a limousine, she takes all of her clothes.

The limo driver said, what's going on?

And she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Coon's house,

and I thank her.

I don't know. Shoes off and licks my feet and touches me.
When I'm in a limousine, she takes all of her clothes. The Lumo driver said, what's going on? And she started sucking me on the way to Mr.
Coon's house. And I thank her.
I thank her for making me feel good. Lawyer.
Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting? That's the best thing ever. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. 2K ratings.
They came out. You're an 88.
Thoughts? That's actually kind of – it's not bad. I was 86 last year.
Oh, that three-point shooting. Shooting up.
And that athleticism that came back. Well, yeah.
Yeah. Well, your toughness probably came back when you just grabbed your entire leg.
So are you – what do you think about people who get mad about it, it though because i feel like that's been the hot thing right now is with madden players yeah and nba 2k players getting mad about it i don't know i feel like 86 was probably the lowest i have ever been i don't know the lowest i've ever been and then i probably had you know one of my better years last year. So, you know, hey.
Yeah.

Whatever, man.

I don't care.

By the way, this is the tweet.

You did like it.

It says,

The overwhelming night-to-night physicality that once made Blake Griffin so special appears to be gone for good at age 29.

You like that.

That was from 2018.

Oh, my God.

You went way back.

No, you went way back.

That was from 2018.

You know what?

I probably came across it somehow. Just randomly came across it.
Yeah. So wait.
So what was your highest rating? I don't know. You must have been in the low 90s.
I don't really play. Do you think it's lame that people get upset, that players get upset? Very, yeah.
Yeah. Because it has no control over how you actually are as a player that's true that is very true i'm pretty sure just in game but if in season i can i can understand like if you play 2k all the time and you're playing as yourself and you suck that would probably get inside your head a little bit but i also feel like a lot of guys don't play with themselves i feel like a lot of yeah okay all right and put that out it's just out as just its own clip.
Okay. They're called incels.
A lot of guys don't play with themselves. That's really nice.
I guess when you're in the NBA, you don't have to masturbate anymore because you're on an Ibiza yacht all the time. No FAP League.
That's fucking awesome. Sweet, dude.
Nice life. I'm going to be Blake of the Year.
Do you have any questions for us as owners of Blake of the Year? We did this again because you come on all the time and you're one of our favorite recurring guests that we don't really prepare. So you can just ask us questions.
Last time I think we asked you the questions we didn't ask Manny Pacquiao. Yep, there were lots of them.
That was good. Yeah, that's true.
How's your Australian team doing? Good. And you have offered – New Zealand, yeah.
We have an offer to Joakim. Do you feel good knowing that if all goes wrong for you and you lose your physicality again, you could always just play for our team? Yeah, that's a good to have in the back pocket.
All back, yeah. Also, I've always wanted to go to New Zealand.
Boom. Or Australia.
Let's do it. In New Zealand, it's in the Australian basketball league.
Understood. So that kills two birds with one stone.
Yeah. We're the only New Zealand team in the Australian basketball league.
Wow. A little confusing, but yeah.
No, it's like Toronto. Yeah, pretty much.
Exactly. And that worked out pretty well for them, right? Yeah.
Wow. So, yeah, we're trying to break barriers.
Now we just need to find you guys a Kawhi. We have officially made you an offer, if it ever comes to that.
Okay, and then you can send the numbers to... Okay.
What about your brother? Is your brother still playing? He could play. We could just say that it's you.
Good point. That would actually be awesome.
I actually had an idea to just put a bunch of celebrity lookalikes in the front row, like all the celebrity fans. Like, have a guy that looks like Drake down there.
Have a guy that looks like your man Frankie Munoz. He was a big Clippers fan, right just have like spike lee in the front row we could do the same with the players spike lee wait your brother's here right now does he listen when you come on the show uh yeah he like listened i think he's heard like he knows what's going on okay can you pass him a mic real quick hank do you what does it suck that you didn't get the same athleticism well I've asked Blake that you're here do you ever think about it

have you seen his measurements of the combine? Yeah, I know. But do you ever think, man, that's bullshit.
That should have been me. No.
If you had done steroids like Blake, you could be here. I mean, if I had worked a little bit harder, I probably would have got it.

Okay, that's actually the best place to be because no one's tweeting like,

hey, Taylor Griffin lost his physicality.

You're just sitting there like, yo, if I wanted it, probably all NBA.

Yeah, at least all-star.

What were your measurements at the combine?

38, I think, was my highest vertical.

That's pretty good.

What was yours?

Less than 38?

I thought I was going to have something cool to say.

It didn't come to me.

Was it higher or lower?

It was lower, for sure.

Really?

Yeah, mine wasn't 38, I don't think.

Damn.

Okay.

Did you train with the jump soles?

No, I didn't.

If you had trained, then you'd be up there. You'd be 38 at least.
Yeah. All Well, I always wanted to ask him the older brother that, so my bad.
Yeah, thanks. That was real fun.
Well, yeah. I mean, it was for me, not for you guys.
Here's a good question to change the mood. Where do you come up with your material for your stand-up, Blake? You're so good at stand-up comedy.
Just for laughs on July 25th. Just observational stuff.
You know, I see things. I try to make them relatable.
You know, everyday life. You know, like, you know, like you know how when you wake up and your butler hasn't like pressed and like ironed your like workout gear and you're like, it's stuff like that.
People get it. When you can't put on a pair of pants because you're too tall and your legs go at the bottom.
Yeah, stuff like that. I understand.
When the booties have twerked, they've twerked all they can twerk on the abusing yacht.

No, when you're on a yacht and all them booties have been twerked out.

There's no twerk left on this yacht?

You guys know.

You don't have been on a twerkless yacht.

You guys know.

Get me neither.

Get me off this yacht.

That's my time, y'all.

Shit, we just wrote your best joke.

At what point on the yacht were you like,

okay, I've had enough twerking for the day.

Let's go back inside.

Let's go back to shore.

Was there a moment you just look around?

Is there ever a time?

I don't know.

I've never had.

I think when it got dark.

When you can't see.

Yeah, when you can't see the twerking.

Did you put on sunscreen?

When I was in Ibiza?

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

I was in the sun today a little.

Am I a little red? Yeah, a little bit. Well, it's also hot in hot in here yes it's very hot in here this is the worst studio in america all business people tell you that it has nothing to do with the lights because they're allegedly led and they don't put off heat i don't buy that at all not at all yeah i can feel the heat those are hot they're hot they're hot um all right i think that was uh i think we crushed it i don't want to take any more of your.
Go to Just for Laughs on Thursday. He is our Blake of the Year, also one of our favorite recurring guests.
And, yeah, good luck to the Pistons. If you're on the Pistons, this week.
That's good. Damn.
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Barstool Golf Time app now. Okay, let's get some segments.
First up, we have a way to stay stay relevant baseball hank let's put in this audio because it was so good it was aaron boone yelling at the umpire on thursday well get your money's worth aaron We're going the veteran umpires, Jerry Davis. Baseball needs this so, so bad.
I've been saying for years, the one mystery about the game that I think everybody wants to know is, what do managers say when they're right up in an umpire's face, just yelling uh like a word every half second like i don't know what they're talking about but now you do it looks interesting fucking savages in the box my guys are fucking savages so i love it i love the best part was aaron boone just clapping like do better do better he basically was speaking to his you know 10 year old son when they get report cards like i know you can do better They're fucking savages in the box. Tighten it up.
Do better. He was coaching them up.
Yes. He was being a good manager to the umpire.
This and remember Ass in the Jackpot last year? When we get these sound clips, baseball becomes more interesting. So figure out a way to have the manager mic'd up.
I don't care if we have to watch on a 10-second delay, whatever it may be. I need more of this my only regret is that it wasn't joe girardi and he didn't have his braces because like the the only thing more emasculating than having another man like spitting basically into your mouth as he's screaming correct is having that guy be wearing braces at the time but that was this had to have been the most watched baseball clip of the year and since ass in the jackpot since it has to the jackpot.
And these clips always happen and they're not supposed to get out. Right.
Last year, I think Major League Baseball tried to take down the Ass in the Jackpot video, right? So stop asking why isn't Mike Trout a great star that we can all market. We don't care about Mike Trout's mammoth home runs.
We want to see two grown men yell at each other. Yeah, I want to see Mike Socia storm out of the dugout.
I know he's not the manager for the Angels, but in this scenario, let's pretend that he is. I want to see Mike Socia waddle his fat ass up to an umpire.
Yeah. If you've ever seen the video of Bruce Bochy, someone timed it, him coming out and running out.
He's the slowest runner of all time. Yeah, he makes him wait for him.
He puts on a hell of a show. I need to know what these baseball men, because they've been in the sport for like 40 years, they have a very specific set of just like phrases that they uttered that aren't uttered anywhere outside of baseball.
I need to know more of what they are. Okay, Mike Greenberg's dumb rules.
How about we bring back Sweet Lou Piniella and have him just be the automatic yell at the umpire guy for every side? So he just shows up. Yeah, have one but we have to have lou pinella in like prime time games and for both teams so you just call him comes out of the bullpen it's like all-time quarterback yeah he comes out of the bullpen cart and he just screams at the ump for your team and it's all mic'd up so it's like sunday night baseball is a lou pinella game i like that i would everyone would watch everybody would tune in he's mic'd up or just it's like Sunday Night Baseball is a Lou Piniella game.
I like that. Everyone would watch.
Everybody would tune in. He's mic'd up.
Or just have him as the rules analyst, except it's for manager argument analyst. Yeah.
So he's out there lip reading, saying what he would be saying in this circumstance. Dude, could you imagine Lou Piniella getting on that cart and just coming in in the fifth inning to just yell at someone for another team that he has nothing to do with? And his job should be just sitting in the bullpen inside the cart the entire time with just like Coors Original, just ice cold Coors Original, nursing it throughout the game.
And then he gets a drunk drive the cart. We can go to like Lou Piniella cam where it has a little note of how many beers he's had throughout the game.
And I want him eating garlic. I want him eating like sauerkraut and Italian long sauteed onions on his hot dog.
Yeah. I need his breath to be like at peak performance when sweet Luke.
We just fixed baseball. Yeah.
That would be so awesome. Wouldn't it? Yes.
All right. Saber metrics.
We have a saber metrics. What was the, it was a podcasting saber metric.
It was. Yeah.
So this is interesting. I'm sure for if anybody out there listens to podcasts uh you'll find this shout out this is uh from stephanie foo she was a producer at npr or she was a producer at all things considered i think okay or this american life excuse me uh here are some fun facts from her about podcasting normal cost of a 15 minute long story at a major storytelling podcast.
Two months, six pre-interviews, three interviews,

seven hours of tape,

10 hours of tape, ten drafts, two to four edits each one to four hours long with two to five editors in the room each time. Two days of mixing and scoring.
Don't lowball us. This is a hand emoji.
The clap emojis that she gave at the end at the end. They don't know what it's like to score a podcast.
This feels very inefficient. No, I think this is true.
Fun fact about part of my take is we have this exact same process. And so we recorded this episode in 2016.
I'm just really good at predicting the future. Listen.
You should be better at gambling. Yeah, I know.
Really, this American Life is a very good podcast. And obviously, they're doing something very different than us.
But how much does it suck for the Stephanie Foo's of the world to realize that we're just two idiots that just hop in here? Like, we do 20 minutes. Here's a part of my take night.
We come in. We do 20 minutes of prep, we eat some pizza, and then we get in the mics.

And now we do other stuff during the week.

Sometimes we eat Chinese food.

Yeah, we do other stuff during the week.

There's a lot of interviews.

We do pre-interviews.

Yeah, we do, what, how many pre-interviews?

We've never done a pre-interview.

Six.

Six pre-interviews, and sometimes those are more potent than the actual interviews.

In all seriousness, like, why would you do pre-interviews when that's when you're going

to get their best material?

Right.

You're just tipping them off.

Yeah, this is weird.

This seems very inefficient.

But you're right.

I think that there are different types of podcasts, and it favors people that are as unprepared as we are.

Yes.

We've actually done a very good job, especially with interviews with people that we don't really know sometimes,

that people like it more when we don't prepare for them.

Yeah.

We did an interview with Topher Grace, and I've seen zero things he's been in.

Thank you. with people that we don't really know sometimes, that people like it more when we don't prepare for them.
Yeah. We did an interview with Tover Grayson.
I've seen like zero things he's been in. Yeah.
We have an interview with Cody Ko tomorrow that you guys could use some questions for. Yeah, I'm a big Cody Ko fan.
Even Burn Bro. I'm going to say that like four times.
Easily. He's definitely going to think it's funny every single time.
Yeah, I'm sure he loves hearing it. It's like sucking my dick.
Yeah, it yeah it's gonna be great um either way i stand with all podcasters um somebody whispered suck my dick to me this weekend at the uh event that we were at on saturday and did you do it way more way more no he wasn't an award-winning listener got it it was just a guy yeah yeah did you do it yeah yeah i mean it was he was polite yeah right sky stuff exactly just hanging out ac um all right i have a take quake and then we'll do our monday reading so this one pft uh it's not as much of a take quake it's more of a i just can't believe this is where we are okay uh someone tweeted my husband is convinced that every single character on the office except maybe maybe Oscar, Jim, and Pam, voted for Trump, and it seems depressingly plausible to me. Okay.
Yeah, this is fun. This is fun.
Let's go back. Your favorite show has been ruined because you took a fictional show and then put it into present day and got mad at the characters for your assumption of their political leanings yeah that's tough i mean we we can go back i've got some bad news about the cast of gone with wind shit i mean jerry seinfeld trump had some pro-israel thoughts so he might ruin every show that's very true we could go down the list we're not the friends character do you think though i i was thinking about it mich.
Michael Scott definitely did just cause he likes a pot. Like he likes a party.
He probably went to the rallies. I feel like Michael Scott, um, he thought something like the, the debate stuff was the funniest thing in the world.
Yes. Yes.
I, he definitely would be a guy that would start like just a pro Trump Twitter account. And then he'd get famous based off that.
Right. And then he would convince himself and not realize what he's doing.
Yeah. Like, Oh shit doing he's like people love me yeah uh dwight definitely would have voted for a libertarian or not even yeah dwight was a gary johnson guy yes no chance that he would have voted for anyone any major party um but either way this is just so oh angela definitely angela definitely kelly marianne kelly would vote for marianne yes.
So ridiculous. John, I don't think...
Who? Jim. Sorry, Jim.
No, Jim. He said Jim wouldn't.
Oh, he wouldn't? So Jim's safe. Yeah, Jim, Pam, and Oscar.
Jim would vote for Hillary. And he'd make sure that everyone knew that he was voting for Hillary.
He'd have the bumper sticker. Yeah, he still has the bumper sticker.
I'm still with her. Oh, man.
Let's see, who else? Kevin? Who would Kevin vote for? Kevin would forget to vote for sure. He would get the day wrong.
Yeah. That would be a whole episode.
Boom. Episode gets made.
Ryan would vote for Trump. I feel like he was a Trump guy, right? Yeah.
Probably. Ryan's an Art of the Deal reader.
And maybe, yeah. And that's why Michael Scott got into Trump in the in the first place to impress Ryan.
Ryan told Michael Scott about Art of the Deal. Yeah.
For sure. Yeah, we can do this with any.
It sucks. But it also sucks that people are letting their brains get broken.
Like having a show retroactively removed because of your own brain. Yeah, you've assumed a character's political leanings.
They're not even real. They're not real characters.
Yeah. Yeah, let's do, we'll do like a cross stream.
What's the thing that everyone's mad about, about the new Disney character? Oh, Ariel, Under the Sea? Yeah, we can do that. We can do Who Voted for Trump, Under the Sea.
The Little Mermaid. Yeah, or Little Mermaid.
Yeah. That's the song.
Yeah. Ursula.
Ursula probably did. Yeah, Ursula did Sebastian the Crab.
was well no he was french so no yeah no he's jamaican i thought oh he is yeah you're now thinking of beauty and the beast we can do that too yeah yeah see how fucking stupid this is all right yeah the tea party exactly let's go to uh monday reading so this monday reading was sent to us by Shanax. There you go.
Shanax. Shout out to Shanax.

My 25 or my she's 25 boyfriend. He's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Buster's.
Fair. So far, I don't see a problem.
I really don't know where to start with this, and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wits end dealing with my boyfriend. Some context, we have been together for two years, and he is overall fantastic.
Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible. For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them.
That's a try-hard move. He'll comfort me after a tough day at work.
I work at a call center and get some crazy ones. For the most part, he is also very me this sounds like a great relationship pft we were both raised catholic and he's very active in the church and an overall stand-up guy which i admire a lot literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with dave and busters i'd say that he's the total package total package i'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem i really don't want to leave him i guess i'll just get to the bad part my boyfriend absolutely must go to dave and busters once a week or else he throws a tantrum i am not exaggerating when i use the word tantrum we are talking crying stom, stomping, etc.
It's bad. That's, again, Dave and Buster's is awesome.
Yeah. So this is a little crazy.
None of this behavior is abnormal to me. He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to, quote, go to Buster's.
Why are you leaving Dave out of it, though? I admire the fact that he's shorted it. Let's hit Buster's.
That he's he's got his own pet name for dave and busters basically you're in a relationship with three guys right now your boyfriend buster and dave and it's been more than a if it's been more than a week he'll say we haven't been in quote forever i love this guy i want to be best friends with this guy this guy has given off major like, I grew up in some weird cult-like environment vibes, right? You can get all these prizes. Yeah, and Dave and Buster's was like...
He's an intramural champion. Yeah, I like this.
I like this guy. It was his first introduction to electricity, and so he just fell in love with it.
Yeah. Scratch MJ's competitiveness.
This guy's competitiveness. I've tried talking it through with him.
I've suggested other restaurants, even other barcades, but it has to be Dave and Buster. It's not the same.
It is not the same. They don't have the same burgers.
They don't have the Power Play card. They don't have the Million Dollar Midway.
There's so many things. Yes.
So many games. Like, take me to a Chuck E.
Cheese, and I will throw a fucking fit. Also, new barcades, they always do the hipster throwback games.
Like, oh, we have the Simpsons game. Don't you love it? Nostalgia.
Dave and Buster has everything. They have the hits.
They have the old stuff. They have the good news stuff.
You got to go to Dave & Buster. Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes.
There's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of Big Buck Hunter. And you select your game and they give you zombies.
Shout out to anyone who still has Crews in the USA. When I tell him I don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone he says something like what do you mean you love busters i give you all the prizes this guy's giving away the prizes it's not even about the material things it's about the process that he really loves that's more than just a stuffed animal yeah that's more than uh the the bouncy ball the crazy bouncy balls yeah it's it's more than the like ball, the crazy bouncy balls.
Yeah.

It's more than the weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people.

Those are only available being redeemed for tickets.

You can't buy those on the normal market.

You think you can just buy Beanie Babies, knock off Beanie Babies these days?

No.

Hell no.

Key chains?

Yeah.

You better believe he's got key chains.

When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him. Now, you are a good girlfriend.
And he makes me follow him around to each game to play together. That's it.
Oh, wait. No, no.
I pressed him about it, and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at D&B's. There you go.
He considers it, quote, the single best day of his life this you know holy shit i love this guy's jim harbaugh yeah he might be i won so much absolutely something that jim harbaugh would do shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying i just want to do that again yeah specific thing and you know what like the more i think about it like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool like video games and sports that's exactly what we do with football yeah and it's also what's the alternative going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic i'd go to dave and busters you know what's depressing is driving past the dave and busters and not going yeah be like man i really wish i'd go in everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into dave and busters yeah uh how do i help him move past this i really want to keep dating this man i know nostalgia can be a powerful force but this is absolutely unacceptable please help uh too long didn't read my boyfriend is obsessed with dnbs and won't accept not going there at least once a week we have a great relationship other than that blah blah blah i don't see any problem with this no you need to just you're dating the coolest guy on the planet yes the only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at dave and busters than him yeah that's the only way you cannot tell him not go to Buster's. You cannot tell him, hey, let's skip a week because then he'll say, we haven't been there in forever.
You can't have him go solo. The only solution, if you really don't want to go to Buster's, is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game.
That's exactly right. That's it.
You have to win more tickets than him one time. Yes.
That's really it. And he will never go again.
He'll never go again.

Yeah.

Or just like, what if they go on a vacation?

They probably can't go on a vacation.

I think they probably go to vacations around Dave & Buster's.

Only in cities that have Dave & Buster's in them?

Like, you can't go overseas.

They've been to Tampa many times.

Yeah.

Jeez.

Yeah.

There's one on every block.

It's like Starbucks in Tampa.

Oh, man.

All right.

That's our Monday reading.

Shout out that guy.

If someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Dave & Buster's with him.
Yes. In New York.
We will fly you out. I love anybody that's that passionate about any weird small thing.
I just find them fascinating. Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because of the best day of my life.
Quote, the single best day of his life. I mean, the staff at Dave and Buster's definitely knows him.
He's a regular. He's the only one that walks into Dave and Buster's and says, I'll have the usual.
And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar. No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name.
You show up and everyone's like, hey, here he comes. He probably changed his name to Dave and Buster.
Maybe Dave Buster.

That's going to be his kid's name.

I know you were thinking about that for your baby.

Dave and Buster.

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll see everyone on Wednesday. Love you guys.
That sounds awesome. Awesome.
Awesome. I don't know Bye.
Shining away, I'll be coming for your lover king.

Shining away, I'll be coming for your lover king.

Lover king.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take me.
Oh, oh, It'll be gone So needless to say A horse and a horse But I need to start a little way Slowly learning that life is okay Say unto me.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

Say unto me.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

Safe than sorry.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take only here Take only here I'll be the king of God And I'll be the king of God Oh, things that...
Let it do. Let it do.

All the things that you say.

Is it a lot of love?

Just a blade of the breeze away.

You are the things I've come to remember.

You shy away. I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take on me Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.