Blake Griffin Comes In Studio To Accept His 2019 "Blake Of The Year" Award + Mt Rushmore Of "Athlete Traits You Wish You Had"

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Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com. On today's part in my take, we have 2019

Speaker 1 Blake of the Year, Blake Griffin in studio. We recap Blake of the Year.
We recap NBA Free Agency. His thoughts on Chris Paul getting traded.
A lot of stuff.

Speaker 1 We also have Mount Rushmore of athlete traits that we would want in honor of Mariano Rivera's cutter. And he goes to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
100%. First time.

Speaker 1 Unanimous vote into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Who's back of the week in a Monday?

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the song of work to be done.

Speaker 1 Look at the handle, love washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Elite Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
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Today is Monday, July 22nd. And fuck J.B.
Holmes. Fuck him.

Speaker 1 Fuck that guy. Brooks Kepka would have won.
He ruined.

Speaker 1 He ruined the Open Championship.

Speaker 1 Not the British Open because it was in Northern Ireland this year. Slowest player ever.
Very slow, and he shot an 87. Yes.
So if you're going to be that slow and shoot an 87, like that's an issue.

Speaker 1 That's like if we were doing a podcast, and every time it was my turn to talk,

Speaker 1 I garbled with salt water. I made you wait for me.

Speaker 1 Did a rail of Coke off the desk. And then when I tried to talk, I just dropped blood everywhere.
Yeah. that's, I mean, that's J.B.
Holmes. That's what he was doing.
And we should in 87

Speaker 1 at least speed it up a little bit. We probably buried the lead.
Shane Lowry was fantastic. He won it for the nation of Ireland, even though that was kind of weird that they like,

Speaker 1 you know, even Ravel was like, yeah,

Speaker 1 Shane Lowry,

Speaker 1 people didn't back him, the hometown hero. It's like, well, Northern Ireland and Ireland are not the same players.
He's from Southern Ireland. That's like the SEC country of Ireland.

Speaker 1 He's from Middle Ireland, actually. Exactly.
They boil their potatoes instead of fry them down there. So he was awesome.
He also, shout out to him for being a fat guy and wearing it well.

Speaker 1 I am always nervous when a fat guy. I like that that's the takeaway.
Well, he did. Here's the thing.
He was wearing a vest. He looked good in the vest.
He's a fat guy.

Speaker 1 And whenever I watch a fat guy, like, play, do anything, I'm saying to myself, he's going to tire eventually. Like, eventually, he's not going to want to keep walking around.

Speaker 1 And I thought that was going to happen on Sunday. I thought he was just going to be like, this fucking sucks.
My body can't handle this. But he was, he held on.
The course. He's a big boy.

Speaker 1 He's got like a defensive coordinator's body. Yeah.
Just like you know that he's there's an athlete inside there somewhere, but he's not trying to show everybody up by walking around with a six-pack.

Speaker 1 And his caddy was like looked equally as Irish as he did. And you just assumed that anytime they got into trouble, they just cracked a couple jokes.
And they're like, haha, yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 1 We're good. Yeah, we're good.
So, but yeah, Shane Lowry was phenomenal. The course was the true winner, though.
Awesome on Sunday. The course showed up when it mattered in prime time.

Speaker 1 Here are some fun stats here:

Speaker 1 the 11th hole averaged a 4.352, which is

Speaker 1 insane. It was a par three? Yeah, so I gotta say that.
No, it wasn't. The 11th was a par four.
Wait, it averaged a 352? No, a 4.352. 4.352.
Okay. Yeah, so the 11th hole dominated.

Speaker 1 That hole won the weekend, and then the 14th hole was also pretty good.

Speaker 1 I love British Open courses. It looks like they just drive tanks across them and plant weird grass that their feral horses eat just in the middle of fairways.

Speaker 1 Well, the the best part about the British Open is it's the one golf championship where you can watch it and you can, in the back of your head, you're like, maybe I could have made that shot because half of the good shots are just hitting it somewhere and then watching it roll for 30 yards.

Speaker 1 Just insanely lucky.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, that wasn't really, like, it was obviously a phenomenal shot, and I know I couldn't actually make any of those shots, but the idea of all these shots just rolling,

Speaker 1 I can actually make a ball roll. And sometimes when you shank it in the right spot, it just feeds down to the green.
Right. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 It's one of those courses you look at and you're like, it rewards shitty golfers. So that's actually a pretty good spin zone of why Blake Kepka didn't win.
He's too good. He's too good for the course.

Speaker 1 And J.B. Holmes, the slowest fucking guy in the world.
Mostly J.B. Holmes, yeah.
But J.B. Holmes did it to himself.
So he shot at 87,

Speaker 1 and he went, by the way, this is not to criticize you at all, Jake, but I needed you to have this tweet. I needed you to have this tweet.
Ravel had it. J.B.

Speaker 1 Holmes was going to win $718,000 if he had kept his position as third place when the day started. He finished third to last, and he won $25,000.
So he lost so much money. He lost like $690,000.

Speaker 1 And he cost Kepka. And he cost $700,000.

Speaker 1 So that's tough. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was kind of like an underwhelming open championship, I'd say. Yeah, and they had to move it up because of the rain, and it felt a little like at noon when it ended.

Speaker 1 And it really ended earlier than that because shane lowry ran away with it i just i'm i'm choosing not to believe in time zones anymore every major sporting event should take place uh to best suit whatever time zone i'm currently in correct at that moment like i i don't like uh an open championship a major championship ending before i've had lunch right right it was felt a little too early and uh should we mention tiger because tiger Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Tiger. Yeah.
I mean, credit to Tiger being smart enough to just not make the cut so everyone forgets he didn't make the cut, and we don't talk about him on Sunday. Be like, hey, Tiger really sucked.

Speaker 1 Tiger would have gotten his ass kicked by the course on Sunday. Oh, it would have been in his head.
But are we now doing, I've seen this debate kind of pop up. Was the Masters a fluke? Was it a fluke?

Speaker 1 Was Tiger never going to be. You know what? If it's

Speaker 1 bad, that's fine. I had no problem with that.
No, it was an unbelievable moment. Yeah, we had our moment.
That's what I'm concerned about when it comes to golf.

Speaker 1 I always find it weird how people can be individual fans of a single golfer or a a race car driver. Hardcore Brooks Kepka stands.
No, I would say that we're friends. No, we're like hardcore.
We are.

Speaker 1 Yes, we are. We are Brooks Kepka.
We literally started the show saying, fuck JB. But it's always funny how there are Phil guys out there.

Speaker 1 I just root for Phil. By the way, Phil, intermittent fasting.
He's sucked ever since he got skinny. He is dude.
He's lost the man boobs entirely.

Speaker 1 You were talking about that dad bod that you have to have to win.

Speaker 1 No, he looks weird. Let me defend him here.

Speaker 1 Anyone who is overweight has dabbled in intermittent fasting. I tried it for a little bit because everyone basically says, you can eat whatever you want.
You just can only eat for five hours a day.

Speaker 1 Well, I tried it and I ate whatever I wanted for five hours a day and I think I gained weight.

Speaker 1 I intermittent fasting on Friday night because I accidentally selected pickup instead of delivery on my seamless order. Brutal.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah, Fire Fest of the Week, I intermittent fasted for three hours. Damn.
It was tough. It was very tough.
But back to Tiger. I agree with you, PFT.
Like, we had the Masters moment.

Speaker 1 That was an unbelievable moment. That was an unbelievable sports weekend.
But I think a lot of Tiger fans thought that he was going to be competitive in every single tournament after that.

Speaker 1 I just don't know if his body can.

Speaker 1 He looked every bit his age and maybe even older on Thursday when he teed off and he did the wince because of his back. Yeah.
And he also did the old guy move when your dad gets old

Speaker 1 and like his bones hurt because of cold and rain. When it rains and he says, my knees hurt.
That's an old guy move. Yeah, you can feel a storm coming.
That's not good for a golfer.

Speaker 1 You got screws in your neck. He's got fusion surgery.
Yeah. Yeah, Tiger didn't play well, but you're right.

Speaker 1 Like, we don't really remember Tiger missing the cut because he didn't flame out spectacularly. He just

Speaker 1 was there. We all remember Rory missing the cut because he shot a 65 on Friday.
Yep. And in possibly the best missed cut performance of all time in the open.
Here's the nice thing, though, with Rory.

Speaker 1 I saw them mention this a few times over the weekend. He's from Northern Ireland.
Yeah. Did you know that? Yeah, for the few Northern Ireland.
Antonio Gates played basketball. Northern Ireland, guys,

Speaker 1 when he didn't make the cut, they kept on talking about him glowingly on Saturday and Sunday because he helped get the tournament there. Yeah.
So that was a big deal. Like,

Speaker 1 if you're not going to make the cut, at least be the guy who helped get the tournament back in Northern Ireland because people will just talk about how awesome you are for the rest of the weekend.

Speaker 1 There were also three or four other guys. It was a big one.
It was Graham McDowell. Yeah, it was a big, like, thank you for bringing this event to our country.
Yeah. Like, putting Northern Ireland

Speaker 1 on the map. Yeah.
Big time. Demon and Liam Neeson, yeah.
Huge.

Speaker 1 What about the guy that was presenting the claret jug at the end, just not having an entire bottom set of teeth? That was weird, but that was also very Irish. Very Irish.
No, I liked it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It gave a little color to it.

Speaker 1 I could kick a field goal through his mouth. Shane Lowry, big-time hugger.
I think he hugged everyone in Northern Ireland after that tournament.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was, besides that, all we've had in the sports world is it's too fucking hot. That's it.
It's very, very hot.

Speaker 1 I bet every over in baseball this weekend thinking that the heat would help it, and it didn't. What was your logic on that? Well, I mean, the ball just goes out farther when it's hot.

Speaker 1 When it's hot outside, is that true? Yes, it is. The air is thinner? Yes.
Is that true? Does the air go? The ball does move when everything's just hotter. Doesn't matter if you make it wetter.

Speaker 1 We'll get our surface. It's everything.

Speaker 1 It flies out. But Hank, it was a dry heat.
But it didn't happen. It was a dry heat, Hank.
Not here. Not here.
If you're not here, it wasn't. Shoot.
It was wet as fuck. There is nothing worse.

Speaker 1 I was telling Liam. I went to Wachstella at like 10.30 on Saturday night, and it was 93 degrees.
Yeah, it sucks. It just hits you.

Speaker 1 You know what? It's one of the top five worst feelings in the world just walking outside when it's dark and hot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I can I can deal with the sun in the day but at nighttime I'm stepping out there there's no sun it's hot. It fucks with your brain.
Why? Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yes.
Riddle me this, riddle me that.

Speaker 1 If the sun is actually hot, then how come it's 90 degrees when it's dark outside? Yes. Bitch.
I saw a guy today. I walked when I was walking in this neighborhood.

Speaker 1 A guy was just puking blood on the sidewalk and I was like, what's up?

Speaker 1 Are you okay, man? He's like, it's hot. That's just this neighborhood.
Yeah. But he's just, it was, his answer was, it's hot.
I think the heat just made him puke blood. Right.

Speaker 1 Does he need to go to the doctor? No. I'd rather be pissing blood like a normal guy instead of puking it.
By the way, how's that? Thank you for everyone who reached out.

Speaker 1 I've been clear for three days. I think I'll try to get a physical, but no emergency.

Speaker 1 Let's be real. Pissing blood,

Speaker 1 if any of our listeners are pissing blood,

Speaker 1 probably go get it checked out. I'm telling Big Cat specifically not to get it checked out.
I'm Charles Barkley. I know his body.
I know Big Cat's body is.

Speaker 1 Through three years of podcasting, we know how the other person responds physically.

Speaker 1 You're fine. I'm fine.
This is like number five on the list of physical ailments that you should get to. I have a lot of other things that I've been dealing with, a bad elbow, some knee stuff.

Speaker 1 What do they call it, blogging elbow?

Speaker 1 I was texting with Dan Heron on Friday and he was.

Speaker 1 Well, no, he actually texted me because

Speaker 1 he was nervous about

Speaker 1 the blood. Yeah, Dan Heron, big time name.

Speaker 1 But I said I pulled the Dan Heron, not going to the doctor.

Speaker 1 And he said, yeah, the body heals itself or just pray that you die in your sleep i mean that's a good spin zone yes um stan heron who just refused to get a new hip i was uh facetiming with chris long last night oh nice and he just hit me up and he was like hey i'm with a guy stan heron is not a sick brag name it's like the lowest of sick brag i i i literally got a face time from chris long and then i i didn't pick it up because i was doing other things i was at a bar and then oh another sick brag you're having a really nice and then i and then i saw

Speaker 1 then i saw and then i saw 10 minutes later that he tweeted like nothing sucks worse than FaceTiming somebody and them not answering it. So he hit me with the subject.
No, actually, you know what?

Speaker 1 And nobody else even understood. You know what? The only thing that sucks more than that is the friend who always FaceTimes.
Yes. That's the fucking worst.

Speaker 1 Well, no, you have to have one FaceTime friend. Everyone has one in their Rolodex that would rather FaceTime.
Do you know that,

Speaker 1 you know, like 20-year-olds, they don't text, they FaceTime? That's weird. It's fucking crazy.
Caleb used to do that all the time. Our coworker, Caleb, we had to get him out of that.

Speaker 1 He would just FaceTime me randomly. Like, just text me, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's always like when you see the FaceTime thing come up, and let's just say you're hanging out in your apartment shirtless or you're getting changed or something, you always think that they can see you, even though it's just ringing.

Speaker 1 Well, they can. And I like hide, I hide my phone.
I'm like, no, I'm nude. The FaceTime friend is the worst.
If you are the FaceTime friend, all your other friends hate you. No, I don't.

Speaker 1 Just know that. I like having one.
No. Having one of them is okay.
But they all hate you. They all hate the FaceTime friend.
You can have one, but they all,

Speaker 1 when they get together and you're not there, they're like, yeah, Billy keeps FaceTiming us and it's so fucking annoying. This nasty big FaceTime guy.
Big FaceTime guy. Huge FaceTime guy.

Speaker 1 Which is weird because with a nose like that, I don't think I would ever want anybody to see my face. He does that dyno filter so you don't have to see his face.
Should we do our Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 1 Who's back? He's going to kick my ass off. Hank, you decide.

Speaker 1 Let's do who's back. All right, let's do who's back.
Then why don't you start Hank? I got a few. The first one is shorts because of the humidity.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Big weekend for shorts. Although big weekend for bird dogs because it's like hot, but you don't want to put on.

Speaker 1 We went to Rough and Rowdy in North Carolina, and Hank dressed for the flight like it was the middle of winter.

Speaker 1 Full sweatshirt, sweatpants. You got to layer up on it.
You got to get comfortable. You got to layer up.
You don't want to fall asleep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My other who's back of the week was me because I don't know if you guys saw us over the weekend. Jeff Fisher.
Yeah. My friend, recurring guest, was in Alaska.
He was out there fishing.

Speaker 1 And I tweeted at him. I said, hey, coach, do you think that I could catch a fish with my bare hands in an Alaskan River? And he said, absolutely.
I would love to see it. Let's make it happen.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's send Hank on a little fishing

Speaker 1 bit with Jeff Fisher. Yes.
Do you believe him now? No.

Speaker 1 I believe that Jeff Fisher can catch a fish with his bare hands. How long do you get to test it?

Speaker 1 We said it. One day.
Okay. One Alaskan day.
One Alaskan day. Now, define catch.
Two hands. Complete the process of a catch.
Two hands, one knee. Catch it out of the water, kill it, eat it.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 It's swimming. So you're going to murder a fish with your bare hands? Not half dead.
Dead. Hell yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or I'm trying to be a bear. I'm trying to fish like a bear.
Yes. That's the original.
No,

Speaker 1 you have to eat it raw. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You're going to catch a fish and suffocate it with your bare hands, just holding it out of the water. You think that you're going to be able to hang out to like a 20-pound salmon? Just bear hug it.

Speaker 1 That's how they do it. Exactly.
That's where bear hug came from. Correct.

Speaker 1 Okay. Any others? I'd not set.
All right. Those are good who's back.
Hangs back. Thank you.
Big time.

Speaker 1 My who's back of the week is football. Yeah.
Football is officially back. We've got training camps starting.
We've got training camp tweets starting.

Speaker 1 We've been inundated with so many pictures of Joe Flacco and his cool hair.

Speaker 1 Reporters out in Denver can't believe that he actually has decent hair.

Speaker 1 This is the last week that we will not have a football game until 2020.

Speaker 1 Let that set in. Let that set in for the people at home.
I just peed blood into my own ten.

Speaker 1 That's so hard right now. That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Also, All or Nothing is back. So on Amazon, I was watching the story about

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 free ad, but it's the Carolina Panthers this year. And my big takeaway so far is you get to see all of Cam Newton's outfits, uh, which you forget just how ridiculous they get, especially after a loss.

Speaker 1 After how jacked is McCaffrey, uh, McCaffrey fairly jacked. Greg Olson is coming.
Greg is hamming it up for the cameras. Greg, your friend of the program.
You're going to get a job, Greg.

Speaker 1 You're good looking. You knew the cameras were on the entire time, and you were doing your little stories, your little jokes.
You came across so fucking charming and likable.

Speaker 1 No, no,

Speaker 1 no, he actually came across very likable, which is what's so infuriating. Okay.
Because he's, you know, just chill out, Greg.

Speaker 1 Just maybe say some dumb shit every once in a while so that everybody doesn't think that you're perfect. Well, we have the rap.
Oh, yeah, we do have the rap. We'll always have the rap.

Speaker 1 We'll always have the rap.

Speaker 1 And also, his foot just keeps breaking. That's just like a recurring.
It sucks for him, but it's like every other episode, he's dealing with a different foot injury.

Speaker 1 And it's like the tin his foot is like less stable than, let's see, Rick Rabbit. Yours? Oh.

Speaker 1 I only broke it once, Hank. And he got surgery.
And I did a nutrient I didn't need. So as a fellow foot injury survivor, I can make these jokes amongst my community.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's just bad foot. And then my other who's back of the week is Devin Cajust.

Speaker 1 So he is starting a crystal workshop in West Los Angeles. Nice.
So if we have any West L.A.

Speaker 1 listeners that want to attend a crystal healing workshop with Devin Cajust, you can look him up and attend and let us know how that goes. Let's see if we can get him here.

Speaker 1 Maybe give it to us live on air. Yeah, we're still goal.
Yeah, hey, Devin Cajust, let's have a little crystal session. Let's do it.
I'm not talking about math. All right, my My Who's Back.

Speaker 1 Similar to yours, PFT, fantasy football, and specifically the commissioner sending the email trying to get everyone to lock down a draft date a month and a half in advance. Yep.
That is back.

Speaker 1 If you haven't gotten that yet, your commissioner is not doing his job because there's always, much like the FaceTime guy. He is my FaceTime guy.
There's one guy who is just...

Speaker 1 chomping at the bit for football to be back and sends out that email is like, hey, what's everyone's availability on August 25th? It's like, dude, I don't know.

Speaker 1 And then you've got one guy that responds like really quickly to that email saying, can't do it. Saying, can't do the 25th unless we do it before 5 p.m.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 And then it just becomes this long email adjusting times and dates over and over. Just auto-draft.
You know what it is? It is

Speaker 1 chain email season. It is mass email season because you've got fancy football starting and bachelor parties that are starting to get planned.
I've got to plan a bachelor party. Yeah.
So that's tough.

Speaker 1 Good luck. That's tough for me.
Hopefully there'll be a lot of drugs. I feel like drugs.
I feel like you guys are.

Speaker 1 I want to get out in front of this because somehow I got labeled as the drug guy in this podcast. Well, right, somehow I got labeled as the anti-vaxxer.
So

Speaker 1 despite the fact that I've only done MDMA once on camera. But yeah, I'm not a drug guy.

Speaker 1 I dabble recreationally in some of the more legal drugs. It's funny because you probably smoke seven times the weed that I do.
Right. But you and Hank both.

Speaker 1 Do you want to tell the reason why we started the drug guy thing? The statement? I don't even remember. It just got a lot of money.

Speaker 1 It was you came came back from the Netherlands and you were like, No, no, no, no. You're like, you were saying

Speaker 1 after the Hong Kong video, you're like, oh, don't call me a drug guy. I'm not a drug guy.
And then, like, there's a pause, and you're like, so we, I'm going to leave July 1st for Amsterdam.

Speaker 1 Is that cool? Yeah, and then when you got back from Amsterdam, you're like, have you guys ever been to a museum on mushrooms? Have you been? You're like, what? Drug guy?

Speaker 1 The only performance-enhancing drug I'm on, I use PEDs. I pray every day.
There you go. All right, my other who's back is hating Greg Hardy because he had a fight on Saturday Saturday night.

Speaker 1 Universally the most hated guy in the world. In Orang this time.
Yes, in Orang, yes. I don't understand.
So he beat the guy in, I don't know, 20 seconds, then he licked his own blood.

Speaker 1 I don't understand why Dana White, like, this can be an easy win for you. There are so many guys that can kick his ass, and he keeps fighting tomato cans.

Speaker 1 Have Francis Nganu just beat the fuck out of him. I think Dana just doesn't want to give him the publicity on UFC.
Yeah, Steve A. Miocic, he'd kick his ass.

Speaker 1 Just give us someone who can beat the fuck out of Greg Hardy, and the whole internet will come together. How about just like a Royal Rumble style?

Speaker 1 You get like Lesnar, John Bones-Jones, and Stipe in the ring at the same time.

Speaker 1 Cormier would tap him, would make him suffer. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So do it, Dana. I'm sick of watching Greg Hardy win.
That just sucks. It does.

Speaker 1 All right. Should we do our Mount Rushmore? Let's get it.
All right. So this is in honor of Mariana Rivera being the first unanimous Baseball Hall of Fame inductee, which is so, so funny.

Speaker 1 So, so funny that that happens because it just shout out to all the baseball writers that are just as

Speaker 1 an aspiring baseball Hall of Fame voter, I just want to say that I'm disgusted by it.

Speaker 1 Nobody should ever be unanimous. Ever.
You should always use that vote on a pitcher named the gentleman Curly Bill Walters

Speaker 1 from 1904. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he threw 70 innings in a doubleheader. Yeah, and not a single pitch over 45 miles an hour.
Okay, so in honor of Mario Nivera and his cutter, we're doing Mount Rushmore of athlete traits.

Speaker 1 Is that what we're going to say? Yes. Tributes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you trait something that an athlete has that you would love to have.

Speaker 1 Who goes first? Who's our Monday first? I go first. And then it's me second? Fuck.
Okay. Thank you, Jake.
Very cool.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, I guess I will...

Speaker 1 I didn't know I was going first. All right, then I'll start.
No, actually, this is easy. I'll start with Michael Jordan's competitive drive.
Okay, that will be my number one.

Speaker 1 Okay, a little bit of pander, but that's fine. That's not a pander, then it can lead to people's death, but that's cool.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I didn't say Michael Jordan's gambling hitchhiking.

Speaker 1 That is intrigued. That's good.
Yeah. Oh, with the fire of this.
Damn, hey. Hank, it's too early in the morning.
Fucking dick. For all the people that are listening early.
Dick.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, if you don't think it's contentious. He's a drive has something to do with it.
Contentious. Are you talking about the aliens that he killed?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it. Okay, okay, good.
That's what he meant by that. Michael Jordan's competitive drive, number one.
I'm going to go Nick Foles' dick. Okay.
Right off the bat.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's a big steal. I mean, you want to talk pander.
No, I'm just saying. You want me? I'll just do Nick Foles dick, Visante Shanko's dick.

Speaker 1 No, you only get one. J.R.
Smith.

Speaker 1 You only get one. Yeah, his dick might have some issues, though.

Speaker 1 Pablo Sandoval. Pablo Sandovo.
No, no, no, not Pablo Sandoval. Wan Uribe.
Wan Yorribe's got a huge dick. Wanyuribe's unit.
Huge dick. And I'll wind it up with DeAndre Hopkins' dick, too.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you have Nick Foles' dick.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I will go with Secretariat's Heart. Oh, that's a good pick.
And you say in Bolt Speed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Two good picks. You would die, though, if you had Secretariat's Heart.
That's true. Not with that.
I thought that blood so hard through your system would just explode your veins. Okay.

Speaker 1 Didn't happen for him. He's the greatest horse who ever lived.
That's true. Good point.

Speaker 1 Best athlete of all time. True, true.

Speaker 1 PFT. Okay, my second one, I'm going to go with.

Speaker 1 See, he already did the heart thing. I'm going to go Danny Woodhead's heart.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Strike that.
No, no, no. I think that counts.
Okay. Yeah.
I was just going to switch it to grit, but

Speaker 1 he's heart. Danny Woodhead's heart.
He's got a big heart. He's got a big heart, yeah.
Okay. He's the secretariat of running backs.
I will go with my second pick. I'll go with Tony Gwynn's eyes.

Speaker 1 Ability to not strike out. You don't think they're decomposed? Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, the secretariat's dead. Oh, yeah, good point.

Speaker 1 All right. So I actually, friend of the program, Ryan Spader, Spader, Ace of Spader, if you don't follow him, he's got like the best stats ever.

Speaker 1 So, I just want to throw out a couple of Tony Gwynn stats because they're always fun to talk about.

Speaker 1 Tony Gwynn would have to go 0 for 1,183 to dip below 300 all-time. That's insane.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Early PMT, remember we did fake Tony Gwynn stats? Yeah. People believed him, huh?

Speaker 1 If you don't go down a rabbit hole of Tony Gwynn stats, and again, the Ace of Spader on Twitter has the best, it's unbelievable. 323 plate appearances against Maddox Glavin Smoltz-Pedro.

Speaker 1 He batted 373 with three strikeouts.

Speaker 1 He never struck out looking more than nine times in a season. He had more four-hit games, 45, than multi-strikeout games, 34.

Speaker 1 And his career batting average, 338, is better than eight of the last nine NL batting champs. So that's just one season that they won the NL battings title.
He had a better career.

Speaker 1 And in 1987, he could have gone 0 for 56 in addition to his season, and he still would have won the batting title. And he was going to hit 400 in the strike shorten season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he, I mean, if you, I'm telling you, go down. He never, yeah, he is incredible if you go down all the, he had one three-strikeout game in his entire career.
All-time ass. Guy, too.
All-time ass.

Speaker 1 Big old butt. So his vision, all right, that's my number two.
I'll go number three.

Speaker 1 I'll go Kareem Skyhook. It's a single shot.
Unblockable. It's a single shot.
Unblockable. The unblockable shot.
I mean, if you specialized in it, you can make one happen.

Speaker 1 Listen, it's like all I try now. Whenever I have a basketball in my hand, I just take sky hooks because it's like, this is the only thing I could probably still maybe do.
Yeah. And I can't.

Speaker 1 It's funny, like, unless you have Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's exact body type. Right.
So unless you're Dalsim,

Speaker 1 then you look like a weirdo when you're doing the sky hook. So even the kid at Michigan this year that was working on that was really good at it.
Right.

Speaker 1 He still looked awkward as fuck when he was doing it because it's not Kareem. Unblockable.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, what do you got?

Speaker 1 So for my third pick, I'm going to... Wait, did you just did two? Yeah, I did two.
Tony Gwyn's eyes or

Speaker 1 ability to not strike out and

Speaker 1 Kareem's sky hook. Okay, I'm going to go with Marshawn Lynch's stiff arm.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Specifically the one from the Beast Quake on Tracy Porter. Yep.
Yep. I will go with Pat Mahomes' arm.
Ooh, so you didn't want to go Tom Brady? Like Marino, Elway, Jamarcus Russell?

Speaker 1 I'm just throwing this out there.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying it's a wrong answer. Dan Marino is like a billion years old.

Speaker 1 I never saw him. That's fair.
That's play. Odell Becky.
I never saw John Elsie play either. Odell threw the ball like 90 yards.

Speaker 1 It's sad what you just said. Only thing I know from

Speaker 1 Dan Marino is the conversation he had in the van. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you want to talk about crazy stats, look up Dan Marino's last game ever. Maybe the worst quarterback performance of all time.
That game that they lost like 70 to nothing against the Jags

Speaker 1 in the playoffs. It'd be a real shame.
I also feel like modern medicine and shit. Mahomes probably has a stronger arm.
Yeah, no, no, no. It's fair.

Speaker 1 I wrote down arms, but I actually wrote down like three arms because I couldn't decide. My last one, I would go with Ken Griffey Jr.
Swing. Ooh, that's good, Hank.
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 I had that on my list here, Hank. That's good.

Speaker 1 Do you think kids these days are familiar with Ken Griffey Jr. swing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Probably not. No, probably not.
He always gets brought up, though. I know.
Look at it. But they don't play the game.
They don't play Ken Griffey Jr. baseball.

Speaker 1 The problem with that is I feel like King Griffey Jr. swing is better to watch than it is to do.
Yes. Like I like watching King Griffey Jr.
swing.

Speaker 1 You had it. Yeah.
A sweet lefty swing is the best. All right, PFT, you're last.
Okay,

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with Rose Laville's dog. Okay.
That fucking pit bull or the bulldog. Just having the dog?

Speaker 1 I would just want the dog. Yeah.
You didn't take this Mountain Rush More serious.

Speaker 1 What? You don't want... Are you anti-dog? We know bad for the ASCII.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with dogs. There's a lot of,

Speaker 1 I have a list of things that I want want over Roosevelt's dog. No, no, no, that's fine.
Her name's Wilma. Yeah, I know.
It's easy to name a bulldog.

Speaker 1 Okay, my last one. I'll go with Alan Iverson's handles.
That's my last pick. That'll be sick, yeah.
Crossover, specifically.

Speaker 1 What do we have? I have a list of a ton that we've

Speaker 1 Rob Gronkowski's brain on here because

Speaker 1 he's always happy. His brain is a drug.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Jerry Rice's route running. Yeah.
Randy Moss's catch radius. Hakeem's Dream Shake.
I always wanted to have that. Joe Green's jumping ability.
Joe Green. Joe Green ability.

Speaker 1 Vince Carter's dunking.

Speaker 1 Would you go Steph Curry's shot or Ray Allen's? Ray Allen. I'd probably go Ray Allen's too.

Speaker 1 It's just so automatic. The same as you.
I would actually go with Michael Red's, but Ray Allen's tweeting ability. He has tweeting ability for sure.
Javi Baez's drip. Javi Baez's drip.
You have swag.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 tagging. He had a no-look tag this weekend.
Really? I love the no-look tag.

Speaker 1 It was maybe his best ever. Messi's free kicks.
Okay. Ronaldo's.
Roberto Carlos' free kicks, I would take it.

Speaker 1 Ronaldo's ability to score from three feet away and have everyone call him the goat for it. Yeah.
Ronaldo's weird Adam's apple that's definitely not the product of doping.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Ricky Henderson's speed.
Barry Sanders' elusiveness. Yeah.
Putin's goal scoring ability. Putin's goal scoring ability.
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Barry Bonds on base percentage.

Speaker 1 I looked up that. He's another one of those guys where you can get lost in a wormhole of lifetime stats.
All right, so I got a couple for you.

Speaker 1 From 2001 to 2004, his on-base percentage, 515, 582, 529, 609 in 2004. Barry Bonds got on base six out of 10 times.
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 And then Ryan Spader, who is the king of all stats, had this one too. Barry Bonds hit a major league record, 762 home runs.

Speaker 1 If all of his home runs were strikeouts, he would still have both a higher on-base percentage and a lower strikeout percentage than Willie Stargill, Reggie Jackson, Mike Schmidt, Sammy Sosen, and Alex Rodriguez.

Speaker 1 That's fine. All 762 being strikeouts.
That's crazy. John Boyd said Espination did something about Barry Bonds a couple years ago where it was, what if Barry Bonds had played baseball without a bat?

Speaker 1 Like if he had just gone up to the plate with no bat in his hand? He walked him with a bases loaded.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he still would have had like a higher on-base percentage than 99% of people that have ever played the game. Wayne Gretzky's vision or playmaking ability.
Yeah. That's solid.

Speaker 1 I wrote as a homer pick, Patrick Kane's puck handling.

Speaker 1 Andrew Reed's clock management.

Speaker 1 Just for fun. Like just for laughs.

Speaker 1 This one's a... Just as a goofy job? Yeah, as a goof, yeah.
Tom Brady's clutch gene.

Speaker 1 So I had the Drew Brees accuracy, Tom Brady's longevity.

Speaker 1 I would go, I would rather have Fitzpatrick's longevity. Like being able to be such a streaky guy and just stick around all the time.

Speaker 1 Dude, Tom Brady tweeting out that this is year 20 was such a mind fuck. I'm an unreal video, too.
Yeah. Yeah.
Actually, Ryan Fitzpatrick's beard. Yeah, that also beard.

Speaker 1 This one's a deep cut that only a few, the real ones will know. Sam Young's pump fake from Pitt.
Remember him? He used to do the pump fake where he got all the way on his toes, his tippy toes.

Speaker 1 It would pump you out of your seat.

Speaker 1 If you looked it up, you would know it. You'd be like, oh, yeah, I remember this.
It was early, maybe early 2000s.

Speaker 1 Oh, Dewan Blair. Dewan Blair's guy.
His ass. He had a big old ass.
Al Jefferson's ass.

Speaker 1 Remember Frank Kamitsky said it was the biggest ass he's ever had to play against? What was his name? Zebo's ass. Yeah, Zebo's ass.

Speaker 1 Sean May's ass. What else did I have? Oh, Devin Hesser's kick returning.
I thought that was probably too cheap because it's like a lot of skills. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ricky Henderson's speed. I'll go Carlin Isles' speed.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Paul Rabel's vision

Speaker 4 to start a new league.

Speaker 1 That's what it really is. Merton Hanks' neck.
You remember that touchdown dance that he gave Hanks? Yes. Incredible.
Hardest hitter. was i was between

Speaker 1 because obviously you could be like oh dick buckets or night train lane but uh ronnie lot or ray lewis sean taylor sean taylor sean taylor

Speaker 1 sharper problematic hardest hitter in the league yeah but still with this look at unanimous to the hall of family

Speaker 1 yes yes peter king has him all right i'm sure we missed a bunch so tweet us the ones that we missed uh

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 yeah i think i got all my list

Speaker 1 it would be cool to make the whole the whole player just a cyborg just a big mishmash of all these people.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Hey, this is Rhea from Chicks in the Office, and this season, we're heading home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch.
We all know our calendars are about to get chaotic.

Speaker 5 For non-stop plans, Abercrombie has the pieces to curate your perfect seasonal wardrobe: sweaters and denim for casual plans, party dresses for nights out, and comfy matching sets for everything in between.

Speaker 5 Keep the chaos cute this season in Abercrombie. Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Blake Griffin.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on.

Speaker 1 It's heavy to say, but 2019 Blake of the Year. It is Blake Griffin.

Speaker 1 Your victory lap. You've been on, I saw you at Disney World.

Speaker 1 You have been in parades. You're now in New York City partying.

Speaker 1 And I just want to say congratulations again. Welcome to the new studio that we have not done anything new with.

Speaker 1 And it's great to have you here. Thank you.
Thank you. It's been a bit of a whirlwind, obviously.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I don't know, man. Just trying to soak it all in and enjoy this moment because

Speaker 1 not a lot of Blakes get to live this. That's very true.
That is true. Don't come true.
How has your life changed since winning Blake of the Year?

Speaker 1 True story.

Speaker 1 I was walking here and a guy goes, Blake. And I look over.
He goes, Blake of the Year, baby, 2.8.

Speaker 1 I was like, yep, get that money, baby. How many random people have come up to you? So many.
I was on a flight when it, like, this, the Blake of the Year came out.

Speaker 1 And when I landed in Atlanta, you would have thought I had just literally won like a low Division II championship. That's pretty much what it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I just get recognized everywhere. Yeah.
We were talking before we started taping, and you seem a little bit salty.

Speaker 1 I think you were talking this over with Big Cat before I came in the room, but you seem a little upset that we had given Blake Bortle so much of an opportunity to reclaim his title to defend.

Speaker 1 It wasn't just that. It was just that, like, you got, you know, you specifically did this whole, like, hey, Blake, if it was a seven Blake series, I still think you would have had it.

Speaker 1 Like, all right, man, it's not.

Speaker 1 If the Super Bowl was played, no. No, you're right.
It's not a lifetime achievement in Blake. It is the Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 It's okay. You won.
I mean, I can't take that away from you. Congratulations.
We just like Florida Blakes. We have a type.
Oh, I get it. And it's Florida Blakes.
We like the Mimbos. I get it.

Speaker 1 You're in Oklahoma, Blake. That's the Florida

Speaker 1 Tornado Alley. Yeah.
You have a little more, you have maybe a little higher IQ than the Middlesex and the Florida Blakes. I'll take that.
There's something about the Florida Blakes.

Speaker 1 They just have a little panache that you just can't, you know, they don't practice. They go out there, they wing it, and that's just what they are.
But you are the Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 So there's no, by the way, Blake Shelton

Speaker 1 followed me, so he's going to be, he's trying to get in on it, which is bad for a few Oklahoman. Is he? Really? So we have two Oklahoma.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to do a team Blake of the Year. Blake of the Union.
Well, no, no,

Speaker 1 I think you should keep it Blake of the Year, and then we'll do the whole Road Rules Challenge thing where we do Blake of the Year. Florida versus Oklahoma.

Speaker 1 That's a nice spin-off.

Speaker 1 That's like the meth cook-off championship of the world, too.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, so Blake,

Speaker 1 you're here.

Speaker 1 You're going to go to Montreal after this. You're doing a Just for Last comedy set on Thursday night.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 my charity event every year is like a comedy charity event. So I have like five comedians come.

Speaker 1 In the past, we've had like John Mulaney, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, some really, really awesome comedians.

Speaker 1 And this year I partnered with Just for Lapse in Montreal. So on Thursday night in Montreal

Speaker 1 I will be doing my set.

Speaker 1 Yes. Go ahead.
Tell us a joke from it. Knock, knock.
No, I don't. Not a knock knock.
Just one joke.

Speaker 1 You're funny. I have to stand up.
It has to be a comedy. Okay, everyone pretend they're drunk.

Speaker 1 And here we are. Blake Griffin, the funniest man in Montreal.

Speaker 1 What's up with this Blake of the Year stuff, huh?

Speaker 1 All right, you want to talk some free agency? Yeah, that was this league, dude. This league, baby.
This league. So wait, where were you caught talking with TMZ about Kawhi? Was that outside?

Speaker 1 Oh, I was at the comedy store in LA, and this guy was just like, hey, you mind if I ask you some questions about

Speaker 1 Kawhi? It had just happened. My friend was on stage, and I was with one of my other boys here.

Speaker 1 And it broke while he was on stage, and we just completely did not watch any of his set. We were just like following along.
We were like, oh,

Speaker 1 Kawhi, Paul George. And then he came off.
I was like, that was great, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This guy just like caught me.
I don't know. And you said,

Speaker 1 do you feel a little bad that the late, the Clippers are like doing all this stuff when your numbers retired in that staple center? No, I mean, that's something they can never take away from me.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Retiring my number. So,

Speaker 1 no, I mean,

Speaker 1 I feel fine.

Speaker 1 I'm not mad about it. They'll be fine.
It's whatever.

Speaker 1 Did Kawhi call you to ask you to demand a trade? You should have started that rumor. Kawhi.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because like Kevin Durant said, Kawhi called him, and then Paul George, obviously, Kawhi called Paul George. You should have been like, well, Kawhi called me, but I just, I love Detroit so much.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, he did. I was just like, what? No, bro.
Yeah, come on. Fool me once.
Yes, yes, right. Exactly.
Shame on you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like you had a part in kind of bringing the Clippers to the point where now they're trying to be championship contenders?

Speaker 1 Like before Blake Griffin was there, the Clippers were always little brother out in L.A. They weren't really talked about.

Speaker 1 You got there. You guys made it to the second round of the playoffs a lot.

Speaker 1 And so it was like one of those

Speaker 1 were building the franchise. You helped to build the franchise.

Speaker 1 I would assume maybe Steve Ballmer wouldn't have been interested in the Clippers if you weren't on that team, you know, playing in prime time and late May all the time. I mean,

Speaker 1 I always say you can't get to the third round if you don't get to the second round. True.

Speaker 1 That was kind of our thing:

Speaker 1 taking control of the second round space. Like, a lot of people are trying to win the championship.
So, like, start from there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I actually really do like feel like a sense of like pride. You know, we, I think we all kind of do.

Speaker 1 I think the way it ended, like with everybody, kind of everybody going separate, our separate ways was like, obviously like a down point.

Speaker 1 But like at the end of the day, man, like before I got drafted there, people were telling me like do not go there. They'll ruin your career.
They're the worst franchise in sports, worst owner.

Speaker 1 Like you're going to be a bust. And like I went there and it worked out.
We, you know, we

Speaker 1 started making the playoffs five consecutive years, like 50 win seasons.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I think we were a part of putting that franchise at least on the path. And then

Speaker 1 Bomber came in and it is what it is today. So

Speaker 1 it wasn't just me. It was a lot of us.
But it's really cool

Speaker 1 doing something that you feel is bigger than yourself.

Speaker 1 I was kind of joking, but I am a little bit serious that I don't know that Kawhi and Paul George would have taken it as seriously as a destination-free agency if there wasn't like a little bit of a track record of winning there recently

Speaker 1 yeah I mean yeah and

Speaker 1 you know you could say the bomber thing you could say you know whatever the the Sterling thing I guess had to happen

Speaker 1 yeah it was a lot of overdue yeah it was a lot of things that happened and you know I

Speaker 1 agree I think that we were part of that that changing that culture a little bit you know what about one of your teammates from the Clippers Chris Paul

Speaker 1 was he part of it no no no. Just like, what about?

Speaker 1 What do you want to know? Just talking about

Speaker 1 it. This is an open-ended question.

Speaker 1 Chris Paul,

Speaker 1 if you were to give Chris Paul some advice

Speaker 1 on what to expect in Oklahoma, what would you tell him? On what to expect in Oklahoma? Well, you know, he's played there before.

Speaker 1 Because he got drafted in New Orleans, Katrina happened, and they played in Oklahoma for two years. Oh, I forgot about that.
He's no stranger to Oklahoma. That's true.

Speaker 1 But I've heard he's not actually going to play there. Well, we don't know.

Speaker 1 We don't know. It's true.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We do not know. So what thoughts?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just can't see him really.

Speaker 1 Thunder's not really in a position to

Speaker 1 be like a playoff team or at least contend. So I don't know if I see him staying there.
I mean, at this point of his career, I'm sure like the ring is

Speaker 1 the main objective.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I feel like they're going to have to move him somewhere. When are you going to start ring chasing? Or are you ring chasing right now with the pistons? I am right now.
Yeah. I am right now.

Speaker 1 That's true. D-Rose.

Speaker 1 Are you ready for that? Oh, yeah. Great.
Have you talked to him? I have. Okay, good.
I've known D-Rose since like high school.

Speaker 1 How does that work when you guys sign a guy, whether it was at the Clippers or the Pistons, like how quickly do you do the text? You don't want to seem like you're, you know,

Speaker 1 thirsty for a new teammate, but you also want to be welcoming. Yeah, you like, I like give it a night.
And then you always start with something like, sup.

Speaker 1 They're like, who's this?

Speaker 1 Oh, my fault. BG.
And you're like, BG who? Blake Griffin. And then you go into it like like that.
You got to really ease into it. Sup is a good one.

Speaker 1 Maybe toss in a couple like casual emojis just to make it. Yeah, maybe like that.

Speaker 1 I've messed up before just going all in and seeming real thirsty. It did not work.
You ready to get this? Yeah. Yeah, that would be a little too much.
Did you actually make any calls in free agency?

Speaker 1 Like doing any recruiting for the pistons? I did. I did a few calls, a few texts,

Speaker 1 a few

Speaker 1 reach outs.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I think I was over three this year. Yeah.
Who did you call? No, you know what? Like one of them, I literally,

Speaker 1 reached out, and literally 30 minutes later, it was like, oh, so-and-so has signed with this team. I was like, all right, well, that's bad timing.
One name. One guy you reached out.

Speaker 1 You can't tamper retroactively. Yeah, you can't tamper retroactively.
He's a free agent. Do you know that for a fact? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have a basketball agent in here. Yeah.
You're an agent?

Speaker 1 I knew I smelled a suit. Do you ever do that? Like entourage? Get out of here, suit.

Speaker 1 Billy, what's his name? Billy? He can say it. I had to reach out.
I replied. I want to do my Medellin.

Speaker 1 Slippery slope.

Speaker 1 You reached out to. You can give us initials and we'll just guess.
His name rhymes with Schmef Breen.

Speaker 1 You guys probably have to say that. Jeff Green.

Speaker 1 Got it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, that was crazy. Yeah.
Big sign with Utah Jazz.

Speaker 1 I texted him and literally, like, I think 30 minutes later, it was like, Jeff Green is signed with Utah Jazz.

Speaker 1 Damn. That would have been nice.
That would have been nice.

Speaker 1 So are you ever amazed with how ridiculous the nba free agency is because it really does it is the best by far in any league and the this league and everyone changing like everyone going into next year half these guys are all playing for new teams it feels like all the power is shifted around yeah i i actually think it's great for basketball i mean the the parody in basketball now is like you can you can say a favorite but like i think golden state would have won this year if they were healthy yeah like no no question yep um

Speaker 1 So I don't think you can really go into the season this year being like, this team is going to win and the odds are stacked. You know what I mean? It's going to be good for basketball.

Speaker 1 Even like an East team. You know what I mean? For the existence.

Speaker 1 Yeah, obviously. For the Balls.

Speaker 1 There'll be some more.

Speaker 1 NEC's looking pretty juicy. The Central Division in the East.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really stacked. Milwaukee.
Yes. Us.
How are you feeling? Are you feeling in the best shape shape of your life? You got to say that. Yeah, well, that's at Media Day.
Okay, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 So at Media Day, you say,

Speaker 1 I worked my ass off this summer. And I came into camp, best shape of my life.

Speaker 1 And I'm just looking to make a statement. Let everybody know.

Speaker 1 Were you nervous at all? That's actually good right there. You should actually say that you gained 15 pounds of muscle, too.

Speaker 1 Or drop body fat. Or drop body fat.
I'm out of 2.9.

Speaker 1 Body fat.

Speaker 1 Do you do anything different in the offseason? Because you've been in the league for a while now. It's like I would expect that you know what to do to train to get your body ready.

Speaker 1 But do you change anything up?

Speaker 1 Not a lot. Like last summer was like a good

Speaker 1 amount of work. So I normally start lifting after like about a year.
I take like three to four weeks off and I start lifting.

Speaker 1 Lift for a while and I start doing basketball and I kind of like slowly work into it and I ramp up. Like once August hits, I take it to another level and then September,

Speaker 1 pretty much full go until camp starts.

Speaker 1 How sweet was that? Abiza booty party? You know what, man?

Speaker 1 It was chill.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Were you kids when those pictures came out? What is that?

Speaker 1 What is your thought process when TMZ gets you like that? You know what's crazy is I was still on the boat when the pictures came out. Really? Yeah, it was like

Speaker 1 whatever, four o'clock in a biza. It was like 9 a.m.
out here. Right.
You know, or whatever. Don't quote me on that.

Speaker 1 That sounds right. Yeah, that sounds whatever.
You're close enough. So we were still in the boat and we were just all looking at it, like laughing.

Speaker 1 Best day ever. Yeah.
It's like,

Speaker 1 did you see the guy like in a dinghy? No, I mean, we saw guys when we were leaving and we knew that like the probability was high, but

Speaker 1 we didn't really like, we didn't, no, we didn't see the people who were taking those pictures.

Speaker 1 I'm just pissed that it wasn't during Blake of the Year week because it would have been great to see you with a phone in your hand while you were partying, which I know you would have done. 100%.

Speaker 1 Without a doubt. I would have for sure.
Although now that you have one, I don't know if you'll.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 you could rest on your laurels. Yeah, the fire burns within me even more.

Speaker 1 I mean, the hardest thing in sports is to repeat, as Blake is. It's true.
It's never been done. No, it hasn't.
It hasn't been done.

Speaker 1 How was France? Your little trip to France, where you were like, oh, yeah, I got to go to Paris in the south of France and Monte Carlo. I was chilling there with Mike,

Speaker 1 Michael Jordan. Oh, yep, yep, yep.
And

Speaker 1 it was cool, I guess. You know, we were just chilling.
Russ, me, Russ, Westbrook,

Speaker 1 some of the guys.

Speaker 1 It was, yeah, it was a lot of fun. We were there during Fashion Week and stuff, and it was wild.

Speaker 1 What's the next fashion to come out of Paris besides NASA t-shirts, which are huge right now? Yeah, the next fashion. Yeah.
I'm always looking ahead. Like, last year it was the Levi's shirt.

Speaker 1 This year, it's the NASA shirt. Yeah.
What's next? What were they wearing there? Because I feel like Fashion Week, that's where.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 what's crazy is throwback jerseys are coming back. Ooh, nice.
Yeah, tall tees and throwback jerseys are coming back. Little Blake Griffin Clippers jersey, Blake Griffin, Oklahoma jersey.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Both are throwback. Both work.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you see what they said at Big 12 Media Day today? I know this is for football, but they were talking about the horns down, the Texas horns down thing. Is that a penalty?

Speaker 1 So it was a penalty last year. This year, they're leaving up.
The refs are saying, like, as long as you're not doing it in your opponent's face, you can still do horns down amongst your teammates.

Speaker 1 So if somebody next, like a player next to me, is doing the horns down, I would just

Speaker 1 put your fans right, exactly. Yeah,

Speaker 1 do you're taking a chance? Do you want to put your horns down? Yeah, all the time.

Speaker 1 Like, when I go back and play in Oklahoma, you know, everybody's like, Because it's the one thing that Oklahoma and Oklahoma State fans can agree with is like the horns down.

Speaker 1 I like that. So, when you go back to play with Oklahoma, are you saying, like, with Chris Paul? Say that again.
Do you want to go back and play with Chris Paul in Oklahoma City?

Speaker 1 Well, right now, I'm under contract to play for the Pistons. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 I enjoy my time. With this league.
This league, you never know what's going to happen in this league. Petty Wars.

Speaker 1 By the way, Petty Wars, I saw you liking tweets of people who are doubting your athleticism. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, someone was like, Blake Griffin has lost his athleticism and his power, and then you liked it.

Speaker 1 When was this? Recently? I'm pulling it up right now.

Speaker 1 Check his likes. I'm on there.
Yeah, it's pretty recent. All over it.

Speaker 1 Do you ever just want to be like, get a life, people? Yeah. Like you're searching through my likes.
Sometimes.

Speaker 1 Oh, to you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have a life. That's all I really care about.
We give out awards. to the best.
In the offseason, I definitely peruse through the mentions, and I get it. I get some likes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Real quick, before I pull up your likes, and then we grill you on those. We talked about Zion a little bit last time when we were in the back of the van.

Speaker 1 You mentioned earlier, like, some people were in your ear saying you don't want to go to the Clippers, you don't want to play there.

Speaker 1 Did it ever occur to you to do something to just say, like, I'm not going to play for the Clippers if they draft me? No, I actually didn't.

Speaker 1 A lot of people were saying that, and I just didn't really.

Speaker 1 Did you ever read that deposition that Donald Sterling did?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'll pull that up in a second. We'll do a little Monday reading.
All right, so let's read some of the likes. I asked you, is this your handwriting? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 Oh, you liked Mason Ramsey's?

Speaker 1 If you don't got no giddy up, then giddy out my way. Yeah, I like that a lot.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 Let's see. You liked a lot of Blake of the Year.
Yeah, you know what? People were really making me feel special. And I was on a plane, like I said, so I had a lot of time on my hands.

Speaker 1 I don't see any of the doubters.

Speaker 1 No, seriously? Did you unlike before you got here? Maybe I accidentally... Yes.
Yeah, you were like, they're going to probably get me. So.

Speaker 1 Anything petty in there? Let's see. I'm looking.
Tom. Let's see.
You liked.

Speaker 1 You liked.

Speaker 1 Here's a good one. You were talking about...
the

Speaker 1 trade that sent you to Detroit, and somebody said worst trade in team history. And you liked that.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.
Here's one.

Speaker 1 Sexy little brunette bitch sucking and fucking her personal trainer's big cock.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, that's not. Oh, that was James Brown's tweet.
That was James Brown's Brown tweet. Damplips.com.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I mean, you knew that was coming.
I was like, oh, my gosh, they got my internet history. Dude, James Brown, I love that tweet.
I love that tweet so much. It's one of my favorites.

Speaker 1 One of my favorites is.

Speaker 1 Ray Allen? Yeah. Uh-huh.
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Hank put together an awesome little take on me remix with that as lyrics. Okay, here's the deposition.
You ready? Yeah. This is Donald Sterling under oath.
Well, I fool around sometimes. I do.

Speaker 1 When a girl seduces me and tells me all those hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and take my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me.

Speaker 1 When I'm in a limousine, she takes all of her clothes. The limo driver said, What's going on? And she started sucking me on the way to Mr.
Koon's house. And I thank her.

Speaker 1 I thank her for making me feel good.

Speaker 1 Lawyer. Sort of the question was, is this your handwriting?

Speaker 1 That's the best thing ever.

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Speaker 1 2K ratings. They came out.

Speaker 1 You're an 88.

Speaker 1 Thoughts.

Speaker 1 That's actually kind of. It's not bad.

Speaker 1 I was 86 last year. Oh, that three points shooting up.
And that athleticism that came back. Well, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, your toughness probably came back when you just wrapped your entire leg. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So are you, what do you think about people who get mad about it, though? Because I feel like that's been the hot thing right now is with Madden.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and NBA 2K, players getting mad about it. I don't know.
I feel like 86 was probably the lowest I have ever been. I don't know.
The lowest I've ever been.

Speaker 1 And then I probably had one of my better years last year. So, you know, hey.
Yeah. Whatever, man.
I don't care. By the way, this is the tweet.
You did like it.

Speaker 1 It says the overwhelming night-to-night physicality that once made Blake Griffin so special appears to be gone for good at age 29.

Speaker 1 You like that. That was from 2018.
Oh my God, you went way back. No, you know, you went way back.

Speaker 1 That was from 2018. You know what? I probably, I probably like, you know, I probably came across it somehow.

Speaker 1 I just remember that. Somebody probably catching it or something.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, wait, so you, what was your highest rating? I don't know. You must have been highlighted.
I honestly have no idea.

Speaker 1 I don't really play too much. Do you think it's lame that people get upset? The players get upset? Very, yeah.
Yeah. Because it has no control over how you actually are as a player.
That's true.

Speaker 1 That is very true. And it can adjust in game.
But in season.

Speaker 1 I can understand, like, if you play 2K all the time and you're playing as yourself and you suck, that would probably get inside your head a little bit.

Speaker 1 But I also feel like a lot of guys don't play with themselves. I feel like a lot of

Speaker 1 people cut that and put that out there. It's just its own clip.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 They're called incels. Slaughter gosh, don't play with themselves.
That's really nice. I guess when you're in the NBA, you don't have to masturbate anymore because you're on an Ibiza yacht.

Speaker 1 No fap league. That's fucking awesome.
Sweet, dude. Nice life.

Speaker 1 Blake of the year.

Speaker 1 Do you have any questions for us as owners of Blake of the Year? We did this again because you come on all the time and you're one of our favorite recurring guests that we don't really prepare.

Speaker 1 So you can just ask us questions. Last time, I think we asked you the questions we didn't ask Manny Pacquiao.
Yep. There were lots of questions.
That was good. That's true.

Speaker 1 How's your Australian team doing? Good. It's New Zealand.
And you have offered... New Zealand.
Yeah, we haven't offered some Joe Kim.

Speaker 1 Do you know that? Do you feel good knowing that

Speaker 1 if all goes wrong for you and you lose your physicality again,

Speaker 1 you could always just play for our team? Yeah, that's like a good to have in the back pocket. Ball back.
Also, I've always wanted to go to New Zealand. Boom.
Or

Speaker 1 let's do it.

Speaker 1 New Zealand, it's in the Australian Basketball League.

Speaker 1 That kills two birds with one stone. Yeah.
We're the only New Zealand team in the Australian Basketball League. Wow.
A little confusing, but yeah. No, it's like Toronto.
Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 That's Toronto. That worked out pretty well for them, right? Yeah.
Wow. So, yeah, we're trying to break barriers.
Now we just need to find you guys at Kawhi.

Speaker 1 We have officially made you an offer, if it ever comes to that. Okay,

Speaker 1 you can send the numbers to.

Speaker 1 Okay. What about your brother? Is your brother still playing? He could play.
We could just say that it's you. Good point.
That would actually be awesome.

Speaker 1 I actually had an idea to just put a bunch of celebrity look-alikes in the front row, like all the celebrity fans, like have a guy that looks like Drake down there.

Speaker 1 Have a guy that looks like your man Frankie Munez. He was a big Clippers fan, right? He was.
Yeah, just have like Spike Lee in the front row. We could do the same with the player.
Spike Lee.

Speaker 1 Wait, so your brother's here right now. Does he listen when you come on the show?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he likes to listen. I think he's heard.

Speaker 1 He knows what's going on. Okay,

Speaker 1 can you pass him the mic real quick, Hank? Do you, what does it suck that you didn't get the same athleticism? Oh,

Speaker 1 well, I've asked Blake that, and you're here. Do you ever think about it?

Speaker 1 Have you seen his measurements of the combine? Yeah, I know, but like, do you ever think, like, man, that's bullshit. That should have been me.

Speaker 1 No. If you had had done steroids like Blake, you could be here.

Speaker 1 I mean, if I had, like, worked out,

Speaker 1 I probably would have got it. Okay, that's actually the best place to be because you can't, no one's tweeting, like, hey, Taylor Griffin lost his physicality.

Speaker 1 You're just sitting there, like, yo, if I wanted it, probably all NBA.

Speaker 1 Yeah, at least All-Star.

Speaker 1 What were your measurements at the combine?

Speaker 1 38, I think, was my highest vertical. It's pretty good.
What was yours?

Speaker 1 Less than 38?

Speaker 1 I thought I was going to have something cool to say. I didn't.

Speaker 1 Was it higher or lower?

Speaker 1 It was lower, for sure. Really? Yeah, mine wasn't 38, I don't think.
Damn. Okay.
Did you train with the jump soles?

Speaker 1 No, I didn't.

Speaker 1 If you had trained, then you'd be up there. You'd be 38 at least.
Yeah. All right.
Well, I always wanted to ask the older brother that, so my bad. Yeah, thanks.
That was real fun.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I mean, it was for me, not for you guys. Here's a good question to change the mood.
Where do you come up with your material for for your stand-up? Blake, you're so good at stand-up.

Speaker 1 Just for laughs on July 25th.

Speaker 1 It's just observational stuff. You know,

Speaker 1 I see things. I try to make them relatable.

Speaker 1 You know, everyday life. You know, like, you know, like, you know how when you wake up and your butler hasn't like pressed and like ironed your like workout gear and you're like

Speaker 1 it's stuff like that right if people get it when you can't put on a pair of pants because you're too tall and your legs go out the bottom yeah stuff like that i understand when the booties have twerked just like they've twerked all they can twerk on a abyssing yacht you know when you're on a yacht and all them booties been twerked out

Speaker 1 there's no twerk left on this yacht y'all

Speaker 1 twerkless yacht you guys

Speaker 1 get me off this yacht that's my time y'all

Speaker 1 shit we just wrote your best joke uh at what point on the yacht were you like okay let's i've had enough twerking for the day let's go back inside let's go back to shore

Speaker 1 Was there a moment you just look around? Is there ever a time?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I've never had it.
I think when it got dark. Yeah, when you can't see.
Yeah, when you can't see the torch. Did you put on sunscreen? When I was in Ibiza? Yeah.
Yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 I was in the sun today a little am I a little red? Yeah, a little bit. Well, it's also hot in here.
Yes, it's very hot in here. This is the worst studio in America.

Speaker 1 All business people tell you that it has nothing to do with the lights because they're allegedly LED and they don't put off heat. I don't buy that at all.
Not at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can feel the heat because it's hot. Those are hot.
They're hot. They're hot.
All right. I think that was...

Speaker 1 I think we crushed it. I don't want to take any more of your time.
Go to Just for Laughs on Thursday. He is our Blake of the Year.
Also one of our favorite recurring guests. And yeah,

Speaker 1 good luck to the Pistons.

Speaker 1 If you're on the Pistons this week,

Speaker 1 that's good. Damn.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get some segments. First up, we have a way to stay relevant baseball.
Hank, let's put in this audio because it was so good. It was Aaron Boone yelling at the umpire on Thursday.

Speaker 1 Now I'll throw you out. This is is the part of the game I don't have to steal.
Thank you. You're helping me.

Speaker 1 Well, get your money's worth, Aaron.

Speaker 1 Now, here come the veteran umpire from Jerry Davis. Baseball needs this so, so badly.

Speaker 1 I've been saying for years that the one mystery about the game that I think everybody wants to know is what do managers say when they're right up in an umpire's face, just like yelling like a word every half second.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know what they're talking about, but now

Speaker 1 it looks interesting. Fucking savages in the box.
My guys are fucking savages, so I love it. I love the best part was Aaron Boone just clapping like, do better, do better.

Speaker 1 He basically was speaking to his 10-year-old son when they get report cards. Like, I know you can do better.
They're fucking savages in the box. Tighten it up.
Do better. He was coaching him up.
Yes.

Speaker 1 He was being a good manager to the umpire. This and remember Ass in the Jackpot last year? When we get these sound clips, baseball becomes more interesting.

Speaker 1 So figure out a way to have the manager mic'd up. I don't care if we have to watch on a 10-second delay, whatever it may be.
I need more of this.

Speaker 1 My only regret is that it wasn't Joe Girardi and he didn't have his braces because

Speaker 1 the only thing more emasculating than having another man spitting basically into your mouth as he's screaming at you is having that guy be wearing braces at the time.

Speaker 1 But this had to have been the most watched. baseball clip of the year.
Since Ass in the Jackpot. Since Ass in the Jackpot.
And these clips always happen and they're not supposed to get out.

Speaker 1 So last year, I think Major League Baseball tried to take down the Ass in the Jackpotspot video, right? So stop asking why isn't Mike Trout

Speaker 1 a great star that we can all market? We don't care about Mike Trout's mammoth home runs. We want to see two grown men yell at each other.
Yeah, I want to see Mike Socher storm out of the dugout.

Speaker 1 I know he's not the manager for the Angels, but in this scenario, let's just say that. Don't correct PFTS on Twitter.
Let's pretend that he is.

Speaker 1 I want to see Mike Socha waddle his fat ass up to an Bruce Bocey. Yeah.
Have you ever seen the video of Bruce Bocey? Someone like timed it, him coming out and running out.

Speaker 1 He's the slowest runner of all time. Yeah, he makes him wait for him.
He puts on a hell of a show. I just, I need to know what these baseball men because they've been in the sport for like 40 years.

Speaker 1 They have a very specific set of just like phrases that they utter that aren't uttered anywhere outside of baseball. I need to know more of what they are.
Okay, Mike Greenberg's dumb rules.

Speaker 1 How about we bring back sweet Lou Pinella and have him just be the automatic yell at the umpire guy for every side? Everything else. So he just shows up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, every team can have one, but we have to have Lou Pinnella in like primetime games and for both teams. So you just call him, comes out of the bullpen.
He's like all-time quarterback.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he comes out in the bullpen cart and he just screams at the ump for your team and it's all mic'd up. So it's like Sunday Night Baseball is a Lou Pinella game.
I like that.

Speaker 1 And everyone would watch. Everybody would tune in.
He's mic'd up or just have him as like the rules analyst, except it's for manager argument analyst. Yes.

Speaker 1 So he's out there lip reading, like saying what he would be saying in the circumstance. Dude, could you imagine Lou Pinella getting on that cart?

Speaker 1 No, what's just coming in in like the fifth inning to just yell at someone for another team that he has nothing to do with? And his job should be just sitting in the bullpen inside the cart the

Speaker 1 entire time with just like Coors Original, just ice-cold Coors Original, nursing it throughout the game. And then he gets to drunk drive the cart.
We can go to like

Speaker 1 a Lou Pinella cam where it has a little note of how many beers he's had throughout the game. And I want him eating garlic.
I want him eating like sauerkraut and Italian long.

Speaker 1 Sauteed onions on his hot dog. Yeah, I need his breath to be like at peak performance when Sweet Lou comes.
We just fixed baseball. Yep, yeah.
That would be so awesome, wouldn't it? Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, Saber Metrics. We have a Sabermetrics.
What was the... It was a podcasting sabermetrics.
It was, yeah. So this is interesting, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 If anybody out there listens to podcasts, you'll find this interesting.

Speaker 1 This is from Stephanie Fu. She was a producer at NPR, or she was a producer at All Things Considered, I think.
Okay. Or this American Life.
Excuse me.

Speaker 1 Here are some fun facts from her about podcasting. Normal cost of a 15-minute long story at a major storytelling podcast.

Speaker 1 Two months, six pre-interviews, three interviews, seven hours of tape, 10 drafts, two to four edits, each one to four hours long, with two to five editors in the room each time, two days of mixing and scoring.

Speaker 1 Don't lowball us.

Speaker 1 This is the hand emojis. These are the clap emojis that she gave at the end of that.
So they don't know what it's like to score a podcast. This feels very inefficient.

Speaker 1 This is, no, I think this is true. Fun fact about Part of My Take is: we have this exact same process.
Yes. And so we recorded this episode in

Speaker 1 2016. It is really good at predicting the future.
Listen, you should be better at gambling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, really. This American Life is a very good podcast, and obviously they're doing something very different than us.

Speaker 1 But how much does it suck for the Stephanie Foos of the world to realize that we're just two idiots that just hop in here. Like we do 20 minutes, we do, here's a part of my take night.

Speaker 1 We come in, we do 20 minutes of prep, we eat some pizza, and then we get in the mics. Now we do other stuff during the week.
Sometimes we eat Chinese food. Yeah, we do other stuff during the week.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of interviews. We do pre-interviews.
Yeah, we do. How many

Speaker 1 six pre-interviews? And sometimes those are more potent than the actual interviews. In all seriousness, like, why would you do pre-interviews when that's when you're going to get their best material?

Speaker 1 Right. You're just

Speaker 1 tipping them off. Yeah, this is weird,

Speaker 1 but you're right. I think that there are different types of podcasts, and some

Speaker 1 it favors people that are as unprepared as we are.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah, you've actually done a very good job, especially like with interviews with people that we don't really know sometimes, that people like it more when we don't prepare for them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we did an interview with Topher Grace, and I've seen like zero things he's been in. Yeah, we have an interview with Cody Co tomorrow that you guys could use some questions for.

Speaker 1 No, I'm a sweetest

Speaker 1 question. Steven Burnbro, I'm going to say that like four times easily.
He's definitely going to think it's funny every single time.

Speaker 1 There's also. That's what he loves here.
It's like suck my dick. Yeah, it's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Either way, I stand with all podcasters. Somebody whispered Suck My Dick to me this weekend at the event that we were at on Saturday.
And did you do it? Way more. Way more.

Speaker 1 No, he wasn't an award-winning listener. Got it.
It was just a guy. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did you do it? Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, he was polite. Yeah, right.
It's guy stuff. Exactly.
Just hanging out. AC.

Speaker 1 all right i have a take quake and then we'll do our monday reading so this one pft

Speaker 1 uh it's not as much of a take quake it's more of a i just can't believe this is where we are okay uh someone tweeted my husband is convinced that every single character on the office except maybe oscar jim and pam voted for trump and it seems depressingly plausible to me

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 yeah this is fun this is fun your

Speaker 1 should go your favorite show show has been ruined

Speaker 1 because you took a fictional show and then put it into present day and got mad at the characters for your assumption of their political leanings. Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 1 I mean, we can go back. I've got some bad news about the cast of Gone with Wynn.
Shit. I mean, Jerry Seinfeld,

Speaker 1 Trump had some pro-Israel thoughts, so he might

Speaker 1 ruin every show. That's very true.
We could go down the list. What about the friends characters? Do you think, though, I was thinking about it.
Michael Scott definitely did. Just because

Speaker 1 he likes a party, he probably went to the rallies. I feel like Michael Scott.

Speaker 1 He thought something like the debate stuff was the funniest thing in the world. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 He definitely would be a guy that would start just a pro-Trump Twitter account, and then he'd get famous based off that. Right.
And then he would convince himself. And not realize what he's doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, oh, shit.
What am I doing? He's like, people love me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dwight definitely would have voted for a libertarian or not even. Yeah, Dwight was a Gary Johnson guy.
Yes. No chance that he would have voted for anyone, any major party.

Speaker 1 But either way, this is just so. Oh, Angela, definitely.
Angela, definitely. Kelly, Marianne.
Kelly would vote for Marianne. I think

Speaker 1 you're three lists. John, I don't think.

Speaker 1 Or Jim. Sorry, Jim.

Speaker 1 He had Jim wouldn't. Oh, Jim's safe.
He had Jim, Pam, and Oscar.

Speaker 1 Jim would vote for Hillary, and he'd make sure that everyone knew that he was voting for Hillary. He'd have the bumper sticker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he still has the bumper sticker. I'm still there.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Let's see.
Who else? Kevin? Who would Kevin vote for? Kevin would forget to to vote for sure. He would get the day wrong.
Yeah. That would be a whole episode.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Episode gets made.

Speaker 1 Ryan would vote for Trump. I feel like he was a Trump guy, right? Yeah.
Probably.

Speaker 1 Ryan's an Art of the Deal reader. And maybe, yeah, and that's why Michael Scott voted for, got into Trump in the first place to impress Ryan.
Ryan told Michael Scott about Art of the Deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, we can do this with any.

Speaker 1 It sucks. But it also sucks that people are letting their brains get broken like they have ruining a show retroactively

Speaker 1 because of your own brains. Yeah, you've assumed a character's political leanings that they're not even real.
They're not real characters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do

Speaker 1 like a cross-stream. What's the thing that everyone's mad about about the new Disney character? Oh, Ariel Under the Sea? Yeah, we can do that.
We can do who voted for Trump Under the Sea.

Speaker 1 The Little Mermaid. Yeah, or Little Mermaid.
Yeah. That's the song.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ursula.

Speaker 1 Ursula probably did. Yeah, Ursula did Sebastian the Crab.

Speaker 1 No, he was French.

Speaker 1 No, he's Jamaican, I thought. Oh, he is? Yeah.
You're now thinking of Beauty and the Beast.

Speaker 1 We can do that too. The teacups.
Yeah, see how fucking stupid this is? All right. Yeah, the tea party.
Exactly. Let's go to Monday reading.
So this Monday reading was sent to us by

Speaker 1 Schenax.

Speaker 1 There you go. Schenax.
Shout out to Schnax. My 25, or my

Speaker 1 she's 25 boyfriend, he's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Busters. Fair.
So far, I don't see a problem.

Speaker 1 I really don't know where to start with this, and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wits' end dealing with my boyfriend.

Speaker 1 Some context, we have been together for two years, and he is overall fantastic. Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible.

Speaker 1 For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them. That's a try-hard move.
He'll comfort me after a tough day at work.

Speaker 1 I work at a call center and get some crazy ones. For the most part, he is also very respectful of me.

Speaker 1 This sounds like a great relationship, pft we were both raised catholic and he's very active in the church and an overall stand-up guy which i admire a lot literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with dave and busters i'd say that he's the total package this is the total package i'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem i really don't want to leave him I guess I will just get to the bad part.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend absolutely must go to Dave and Busters once a week or else he throws a tantrum. I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum.
We are talking crying, stomping, et cetera. It's bad.

Speaker 1 That's, again,

Speaker 1 Davin Busters is awesome. Yeah.
So this is a little crazy. None of this behavior is abnormal to me.
He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to, quote, go to Buster's.

Speaker 1 Why are you leaving Dave out of it, though? Like, I admire the fact that he's shortened his Busters. That he's got his own pet name for Dave and Busters.

Speaker 1 Basically, you're in a relationship with three guys right now, your boyfriend, Buster, and Dave. Dave.
And it's been more than a week.

Speaker 1 If it's been more than a week, he'll say we haven't been in quote forever.

Speaker 1 I love this guy. I want to be best friends with this guy.
This guy has given off major, like, I grew up in some weird cult-like environment vibes, right?

Speaker 1 And all these prizes. Yeah, and Davin Busters was...

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like this. I like this.
It was his first introduction to electricity. And so he just fell in love with it.
Yeah, scratch MJ's competitiveness. It's this guy's competitiveness.

Speaker 1 I've tried talking it through with him. I've suggested other restaurants, even other barcades.
But it has to be.

Speaker 1 They don't have the same burgers. They don't have the power play card.
They don't have the million-dollar midway. There's so many things.
Yes, so many games. Like, take me to a Chuck E.

Speaker 1 Cheese, and I will throw a fucking fit. Also, new barcades, they always do like the hipster throwback games.
Like, oh, we have the Simpsons game. Don't you love it? Nostalgia.

Speaker 1 David Busters has everything. They have the hits.
They have the old stuff. They have the good new stuff.
You got to go to David Busters.

Speaker 1 Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes.

Speaker 1 There's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of Big Buck Hunter. Oh, and then it's just.
And you select your game and they give you zombies. Shout out to anyone who still has cruise in the USA.

Speaker 1 When I tell him I don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone, he says something like, what do you mean? You love Busters. I give you all the prizes.

Speaker 1 This guy's giving away the prizes. It's not even about the material things.
It's about the process that he really loves. That's more than just a stuffed animal.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's more than the bouncy ball, the crazy bouncy balls. Yeah, it's more than the weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people.
Those are only available

Speaker 1 being redeemed for tickets. You can't buy those on the normal market.
You think you should buy beanie babies,

Speaker 1 knockoff beanie babies these days? Hell no. Keychains? Yeah, you better believe he's got keychains.
When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him.

Speaker 1 Now you are a good girlfriend. And he makes me follow him around to each game to play together.
That's it. Oh, wait, no, no.

Speaker 1 I pressed him about it, and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at DNB's and considers it, quote, the single best day of his life.

Speaker 1 You know, holy shit. I love

Speaker 1 it. This guy's Jim Harbaugh.
Yeah, he might be. I won so much.
Absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do.

Speaker 1 Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like, for the rest of your life, saying, I just want to do that again. That specific thing.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 Like, the more I think about it, like, planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool video games and sports, that's exactly what we do with football. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's also, what's the alternative? Going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic? I'd go to Davin Busters.

Speaker 1 You know what's depressing is driving past a Davin Buster's and not going. Yeah, be like, man, I really wish I could go away.

Speaker 1 And everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into Dave and Busters. As going into Busters.
Yeah. How do I help him move past this?

Speaker 1 I really want to keep dating this man. I know nostalgia can be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable.
Please help.

Speaker 1 Too long, didn't read. My boyfriend is obsessed with DNBs and won't accept not going there at least once a week.
We have a great relationship, other than that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 I don't see any problem with this. No, you need to just.
You're dating the coolest guy on the planet. Yes.
The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Davin Buster's than him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's the only way.
You cannot tell him not to go to Busters. You cannot tell him, hey, we, you know, let's skip a week because then he'll say, we haven't been there in forever.

Speaker 1 You can't have him go solo. The only solution, if you really don't want to go to Busters, is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game.
That's exactly right.

Speaker 1 You have to win more tickets than him one time. Yes.
That's really it. And he will never go again.
He'll never go again. Yeah.
Or just like, what if they go on a vacation?

Speaker 1 They probably can't go on a vacation. I think they probably go to vacations around Davin Busters.
Only in cities that have Davin Busters in them. Like, you can't go overseas.

Speaker 1 They've been to Tampa many times. Yeah, geez.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's one on every block. It's like Starbucks in Tampa.
Oh, man. All right.
That's our Monday reading. Shout out to that guy.

Speaker 1 If someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Davin Busters with him.
Yes. Yes.
He's in New York. We will fly you out.
I love anybody that's

Speaker 1 that passionate about any weird small things. Yes.
I just just find them fascinating.

Speaker 1 Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because of the best day of my life. We'll quote the single best day of his life.

Speaker 1 I mean, the staff at the Davin Buster's definitely knows him. He's a regular.
He's the only one that walks into a David Buster's and says, I'll have the usual.

Speaker 1 And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar. No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name.
You show up and everyone's like, hey, here he comes.

Speaker 1 He probably changed his name to Davin Buster. Maybe, maybe

Speaker 1 Dave Buster.

Speaker 1 That's going to be be his kid's name. I know you were thinking about that for your David Buster.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. We'll see everyone on Wednesday.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 That sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 To say or say any word

Speaker 1 today isn't my day to find you.

Speaker 1 Shy it away

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love okay

Speaker 1 Shy it away

Speaker 1 Oh I'll be coming for your love okay

Speaker 1 love okay

Speaker 1 Take on me I'll be

Speaker 1 your

Speaker 1 heart

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 needless to say

Speaker 1 I want sentences

Speaker 1 But I'm be stumbling away

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay

Speaker 1 Stay after me

Speaker 1 Oh it's the better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 1 Say after

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 1 Save than sorry,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 only

Speaker 1 drink only

Speaker 1 I've gone

Speaker 1 that I've drunk

Speaker 1 that we say

Speaker 1 just a way of

Speaker 1 away.

Speaker 1 You often have come to remember.

Speaker 1 You'll be shy away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Farm School Sports.